This is a modern-English version of Sense and Sensibility, originally written by Austen, Jane.
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and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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Transcriber's Note:
Transcriber's Note:
The Table of Contents is not part of the original book. The illustration on page 290 is missing from the book. The Introduction ends abruptly. Seems incomplete.
The Table of Contents isn't part of the original book. The illustration on page 290 is missing from the book. The Introduction ends suddenly. It feels incomplete.
SENSE & SENSIBILITY
BY
JANE AUSTEN
WITH AN INTRODUCTION
BY
AUSTIN DOBSON
ILLUSTRATED
BY
HUGH THOMSON
LONDON: MACMILLAN AND CO., LIMITED
NEW YORK: THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
1902
First Edition with Hugh Thomson's Illustrations 1896
First Edition with Hugh Thomson's Illustrations 1896
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
With the title of Sense and Sensibility is connected one of those minor problems which delight the cummin-splitters of criticism. In the Cecilia of Madame D'Arblay—the forerunner, if not the model, of Miss Austen—is a sentence which at first sight suggests some relationship to the name of the book which, in the present series, inaugurated Miss Austen's novels. 'The whole of this unfortunate business'—says a certain didactic Dr. Lyster, talking in capitals, towards the end of volume three of Cecilia—'has been the result of Pride and Prejudice,' and looking to the admitted familiarity of Miss Austen with Madame D'Arblay's work, it has been concluded that Miss Austen borrowed from Cecilia, the title of her second novel. But here comes in the little problem to which we have referred. Pride and Prejudice it is true, was written and finished before Sense and Sensibility—its original title for several years being First Impressions. Then, in 1797, the author fell to work upon an older essay in letters à la Richardson, called Elinor and Marianne, which she re-christened Sense and Sensibility. This, as we know, was her first published book; and whatever may be the connection between the title of Pride and Prejudice and the passage in Cecilia, there is an obvious connection between the title of Pride and Prejudice and the title of Sense and Sensibility. If Miss Austen[viii] re-christened Elinor and Marianne before she changed the title of First Impressions, as she well may have, it is extremely unlikely that the name of Pride and Prejudice has anything to do with Cecilia (which, besides, had been published at least twenty years before). Upon the whole, therefore, it is most likely that the passage in Madame D'Arblay is a mere coincidence; and that in Sense and Sensibility, as well as in the novel that succeeded it in publication, Miss Austen, after the fashion of the old morality plays, simply substituted the leading characteristics of her principal personages for their names. Indeed, in Sense and Sensibility the sense of Elinor, and the sensibility (or rather sensiblerie) of Marianne, are markedly emphasised in the opening pages of the book But Miss Austen subsequently, and, as we think, wisely, discarded in her remaining efforts the cheap attraction of an alliterative title. Emma and Persuasion, Northanger Abbey and Mansfield Park, are names far more in consonance with the quiet tone of her easy and unobtrusive art.
With the title Sense and Sensibility, there's one of those minor issues that critics love to dissect. In Madame D'Arblay's Cecilia—which was a precursor, if not the template, for Miss Austen—there's a sentence that at first glance hints at a connection to the title of the book that kicked off Miss Austen's novels in this series. 'The whole of this unfortunate situation'—says a certain didactic Dr. Lyster, speaking in all caps, towards the end of volume three of Cecilia—'has been the result of Pride and Bias,' leading to the conclusion, based on Miss Austen's known familiarity with Madame D'Arblay's work, that Miss Austen took the title of her second novel from Cecilia. But here comes the little issue we mentioned. Pride and Prejudice was indeed written and completed before Sense and Sensibility—its original title for several years was First Impressions. Then, in 1797, the author began working on an earlier essay in letters à la Richardson, called Elinor and Marianne, which she later renamed Sense and Sensibility. This was, as we know, her first published book; and whatever link there may be between the title of Pride and Prejudice and the passage in Cecilia, there’s a clear connection between the titles of Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. If Miss Austen[viii] renamed Elinor and Marianne before she changed the title of First Impressions, which is entirely possible, it’s very unlikely that the name Pride and Prejudice is related to Cecilia (which, by the way, was published at least twenty years earlier). Overall, it seems most likely that the mention in Madame D'Arblay is just a coincidence; and that in Sense and Sensibility, as well as in the next novel she published, Miss Austen, following the tradition of old morality plays, simply replaced the defining traits of her main characters with their names. In fact, in Sense and Sensibility, the sensibility of Elinor and the sensitivity (or rather sensiblerie) of Marianne are clearly highlighted in the book's opening pages. However, Miss Austen later, and we think wisely, moved away from the gimmicky appeal of alliterative titles in her subsequent works. Emma and Persuasion, Northanger Abbey and Mansfield Park have titles that are much more in line with the subtle tone of her smooth and understated style.
Elinor and Marianne was originally written about 1792. After the completion—or partial completion, for it was again revised in 1811—of First Impressions (subsequently Pride and Prejudice), Miss Austen set about recasting Elinor and Marianne, then composed in the form of letters; and she had no sooner accomplished this task, than she began Northanger Abbey. It would be interesting to know to what extent she remodelled Sense and Sensibility in 1797-98, for we are told that previous to its publication in 1811 she again devoted a considerable time to its preparation for the press, and it is clear that this does not mean the correction of proofs alone, but also a preliminary revision of MS. Especially would it be interesting if we could ascertain whether any of its more finished passages, e.g. the admirable conversation[ix] between the Miss Dashwoods and Willoughby in chapter x., were the result of those fallow and apparently barren years at Bath and Southampton, or whether they were already part of the second version of 1797-98. But upon this matter the records are mute. A careful examination of the correspondence published by Lord Brabourne in 1884 only reveals two definite references to Sense and Sensibility and these are absolutely unfruitful in suggestion. In April 1811 she speaks of having corrected two sheets of 'S and S,' which she has scarcely a hope of getting out in the following June; and in September, an extract from the diary of another member of the family indirectly discloses the fact that the book had by that time been published. This extract is a brief reference to a letter which had been received from Cassandra Austen, begging her correspondent not to mention that Aunt Jane wrote Sense and Sensibility. Beyond these minute items of information, and the statement—already referred to in the Introduction to Pride and Prejudice—that she considered herself overpaid for the labour she had bestowed upon it, absolutely nothing seems to have been preserved by her descendants respecting her first printed effort. In the absence of particulars some of her critics have fallen to speculate upon the reason which made her select it, and not Pride and Prejudice, for her début; and they have, perhaps naturally, found in the fact a fresh confirmation of that traditional blindness of authors to their own best work, which is one of the commonplaces of literary history. But this is to premise that she did regard it as her masterpiece, a fact which, apart from this accident of priority of issue, is, as far as we are aware, nowhere asserted. A simpler solution is probably that, of the three novels she had written or sketched by 1811, Pride and Prejudice was languishing under the stigma of having been refused by one bookseller[x] without the formality of inspection, while Northanger Abbey was lying perdu in another bookseller's drawer at Bath. In these circumstances it is intelligible that she should turn to Sense and Sensibility, when, at length—upon the occasion of a visit to her brother in London in the spring of 1811—Mr. T. Egerton of the 'Military Library,' Whitehall, dawned upon the horizon as a practicable publisher.
Elinor and Marianne was originally written around 1792. After finishing— or partially finishing, since it was revised again in 1811—First Impressions (later known as Pride and Prejudice), Miss Austen started rewriting Elinor and Marianne, which was initially composed as letters. As soon as she finished this task, she began working on Northanger Abbey. It would be fascinating to know how much she changed Sense and Sensibility during 1797-98, because we know that before its publication in 1811, she spent a significant amount of time preparing it for printing. It's clear that this involved not just proof corrections, but also an initial revision of the manuscript. Especially interesting would be whether any of its more polished passages, like the brilliant conversation between the Miss Dashwoods and Willoughby in chapter x., came from those seemingly unproductive years in Bath and Southampton, or if they were part of the second version from 1797-98. However, there are no records on this matter. A thorough look at the correspondence released by Lord Brabourne in 1884 shows only two definite mentions of Sense and Sensibility, which offer no useful insights. In April 1811, she mentioned correcting two sheets of 'S and S,' which she doubted would be out by the following June; and in September, a diary extract from another family member indirectly indicates that the book had been published by then. This extract briefly references a letter from Cassandra Austen, asking her correspondent not to mention that Aunt Jane wrote Sense and Sensibility. Beyond these small bits of information, and the claim—mentioned in the Introduction to Pride and Prejudice—that she felt overpaid for the work she put into it, absolutely nothing seems to have been preserved by her descendants regarding her first published effort. In the absence of details, some critics have speculated about why she chose it, rather than Pride and Prejudice, for her debut; and they have, perhaps understandably, seen this as further evidence of the common notion that authors are often blind to their best work, a well-known idea in literary history. But this assumes that she considered it her masterpiece, which, as far as we know, is never explicitly stated. A simpler explanation is that, of the three novels she had written or sketched by 1811, Pride and Prejudice was burdened by the stigma of being rejected by one bookseller without a proper review, while Northanger Abbey was sitting hidden in another bookseller's drawer in Bath. Under these circumstances, it makes sense that she would turn to Sense and Sensibility when, finally—during a visit to her brother in London in the spring of 1811—Mr. T. Egerton of the 'Military Library,' Whitehall, appeared as a viable publisher.
By the time Sense and Sensibility left the press, Miss Austen was again domiciled at Chawton Cottage. For those accustomed to the swarming reviews of our day, with their Babel of notices, it may seem strange that there should be no record of the effect produced, seeing that, as already stated, the book sold well enough to enable its putter-forth to hand over to its author what Mr. Gargery, in Great Expectations, would have described as 'a cool £150.' Surely Mr. Egerton, who had visited Miss Austen at Sloane Street, must have later conveyed to her some intelligence of the way in which her work had been welcomed by the public. But if he did, it is no longer discoverable. Mr. Austen Leigh, her first and best biographer, could find no account either of the publication or of the author's feelings thereupon. As far as it is possible to judge, the critical verdicts she obtained were mainly derived from her own relatives and intimate friends, and some of these latter—if one may trust a little anthology which she herself collected, and from which Mr. Austen Leigh prints extracts—must have been more often exasperating than sympathetic. The long chorus of intelligent approval by which she was afterwards greeted did not begin to be really audible before her death, and her 'fit audience' during her lifetime must have been emphatically 'few,' Of two criticisms which came out in the Quarterly early in the century, she could only have seen one, that of 1815; the other, by Archbishop[xi] Whately, the first which treated her in earnest, did not appear until she had been three years dead. Dr. Whately deals mainly with Mansfield Park and Persuasion; his predecessor professed to review Emma, though he also gives brief summaries of Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Austen Leigh, we think, speaks too contemptuously of this initial notice of 1815. If, at certain points, it is half-hearted and inadequate, it is still fairly accurate in its recognition of Miss Austen's supreme merit, as contrasted with her contemporaries—to wit, her skill in investing the fortunes of ordinary characters and the narrative of common occurrences with all the sustained excitement of romance. The Reviewer points out very justly that this kind of work, 'being deprived of all that, according to Bayes, goes "to elevate and surprise," must make amends by displaying depth of knowledge and dexterity of execution.' And in these qualities, even with such living competitors of her own sex as Miss Edgeworth and Miss Brunton (whose Self-control came out in the same year as Sense and Sensibility), he does not scruple to declare that 'Miss Austen stands almost alone.' If he omits to lay stress upon her judgment, her nice sense of fitness, her restraint, her fine irony, and the delicacy of her artistic touch, something must be allowed for the hesitations and reservations which invariably beset the critical pioneer.
By the time Sense and Sensibility was published, Miss Austen was once again living at Chawton Cottage. For those used to today’s flood of reviews, with their overwhelming variety of opinions, it might seem odd that there’s no record of the book’s impact, especially since, as noted earlier, it sold well enough for its publisher to give the author what Mr. Gargery, in Great Expectations, would have called 'a cool £150.' Surely Mr. Egerton, who had visited Miss Austen in Sloane Street, must have later shared with her some news about how her work was received by the public. But if he did, we can no longer find that information. Mr. Austen Leigh, her first and most noted biographer, found no account of the publication or the author's feelings about it. From what we can tell, the critical feedback she received mainly came from her family and close friends, and some of these—if we can trust a small anthology she compiled, from which Mr. Austen Leigh includes excerpts—must have been more frustrating than supportive. The wave of enthusiastic approval that followed did not really become clear until after her death, and her 'fit audience' during her life must have been quite 'few.' Of two reviews that appeared in the Quarterly early in the century, she likely only saw one, the one from 1815; the other, by Archbishop [xi] Whately, which took her seriously, didn’t come out until three years after she passed away. Dr. Whately mainly discusses Mansfield Park and Persuasion; his predecessor claimed to review Emma, but he also gives brief summaries of Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice. We believe Mr. Austen Leigh dismisses this first review from 1815 too harshly. While it is somewhat lukewarm and lacking in some aspects, it fairly accurately recognizes Miss Austen's great talent compared to her contemporaries—namely, her ability to invest the lives of ordinary characters and the narrative of everyday events with the same excitement as romance. The Reviewer rightly points out that this kind of work, 'deprived of all that, according to Bayes, goes "to elevate and surprise," must compensate by showing depth of knowledge and skillful execution.' And in these qualities, even against living competitors like Miss Edgeworth and Miss Brunton (whose Self-control came out the same year as Sense and Sensibility), he doesn't hesitate to declare that 'Miss Austen stands almost alone.' If he fails to emphasize her judgment, her sharp sense of what fits, her restraint, her keen irony, and the delicacy of her artistic style, we must consider the hesitations and reservations that often accompany groundbreaking criticism.
To contend, however, for a moment that the present volume is Miss Austen's greatest, as it was her first published, novel, would be a mere exercise in paradox. There are, who swear by Persuasion; there are, who prefer Emma and Mansfield Park; there is a large contingent for Pride and Prejudice; and there is even a section which advocates the pre-eminence of Northanger Abbey. But no one, as far as we can remember, has ever put Sense and Sensibility first,[xii] nor can we believe that its author did so herself. And yet it is she herself who has furnished the standard by which we judge it, and it is by comparison with Pride and Prejudice, in which the leading characters are also two sisters, that we assess and depress its merit. The Elinor and Marianne of Sense and Sensibility are only inferior when they are contrasted with the Elizabeth and Jane of Pride and Prejudice; and even then, it is probably because we personally like the handsome and amiable Jane Bennet rather better than the obsolete survival of the sentimental novel represented by Marianne Dashwood. Darcy and Bingley again are much more 'likeable' (to use Lady Queensberry's word) than the colourless Edward Ferrars and the stiff-jointed Colonel Brandon. Yet it might not unfairly be contended that there is more fidelity to what Mr. Thomas Hardy has termed 'life's little ironies' in Miss Austen's disposal of the two Miss Dashwoods than there is in her disposal of the heroines of Pride and Prejudice. Every one does not get a Bingley, or a Darcy (with a park); but a good many sensible girls like Elinor pair off contentedly with poor creatures like Edward Ferrars, while not a few enthusiasts like Marianne decline at last upon middle-aged colonels with flannel waistcoats. George Eliot, we fancy, would have held that the fates of Elinor and Marianne were more probable than the fortunes of Jane and Eliza Bennet. That, of the remaining characters, there is certainly none to rival Mr. Bennet, or Lady Catherine de Bourgh, or the ineffable Mr. Collins, of Pride and Prejudice, is true; but we confess to a kindness for vulgar matchmaking Mrs. Jennings with her still-room 'parmaceti for an inward bruise' in the shape of a glass of old Constantia; and for the diluted Squire Western, Sir John Middleton, whose horror of being alone carries him to the point of rejoicing in the acquisition of two to the population of London.[xiii] Excellent again are Mr. Palmer and his wife; excellent, in their sordid veracity, the self-seeking figures of the Miss Steeles. But the pearls of the book must be allowed to be that egregious amateur in toothpick-cases, Mr. Robert Ferrars (with his excursus in chapter xxxvi. on life in a cottage), and the admirably-matched Mr. and Mrs. John Dashwood. Miss Austen herself has never done anything better than the inimitable and oft-quoted chapter wherein is debated between the last-named pair the momentous matter of the amount to be devoted to Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters; while the suggestion in chapters xxxiii. and xxxiv. that the owner of Norland was once within some thousands of having to sell out at a loss, deserves to be remembered with that other memorable escape of Sir Roger de Coverley's ancestor, who was only not killed in the civil wars because 'he was sent out of the field upon a private message, the day before the battle of Worcester.'
To argue for a moment that this book is Miss Austen's best, as it was her first published novel, would be a bit contradictory. Some readers swear by Persuasion; others prefer Emma and Mansfield Park; there's a big group that loves Pride and Prejudice; and there’s even a faction that champions Northanger Abbey. But as far as we can recall, no one has ever claimed Sense and Sensibility as their favorite,[xii] nor do we believe the author herself thought that way. Yet, she is the one who set the standard we use to judge it, and we compare it to Pride and Prejudice, where the main characters are also two sisters, to evaluate its worth. The Elinor and Marianne of Sense and Sensibility only seem less impressive when placed next to the Elizabeth and Jane of Pride and Prejudice; and even then, it’s probably because we personally prefer charming Jane Bennet over the outdated version of the sentimental heroine represented by Marianne Dashwood. Darcy and Bingley, again, are much more 'likable' (to borrow Lady Queensberry's term) than the bland Edward Ferrars and the awkward Colonel Brandon. However, it could be argued that there's more truth to what Mr. Thomas Hardy referred to as 'life's little ironies' in how Miss Austen portrays the two Miss Dashwoods compared to her other heroines. Not everyone gets a Bingley or a Darcy (with a park); many sensible girls like Elinor end up content with less-than-ideal partners like Edward Ferrars, while many passionate souls like Marianne ultimately settle for middle-aged colonels in flannel waistcoats. We think George Eliot would have believed that Elinor and Marianne's outcomes were more realistic than those of Jane and Eliza Bennet. It’s true that none of the remaining characters rival Mr. Bennet, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, or the unforgettable Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice, but we have a fondness for the matchmaking Mrs. Jennings with her home remedy 'parmaceti for an inward bruise' served in a glass of old Constantia; and for the well-meaning Squire Western, Sir John Middleton, whose fear of loneliness makes him delighted at increasing the population by two in London.[xiii] Mr. Palmer and his wife are also memorable; and the self-serving Miss Steeles are excellent in their mundane honesty. But the standout characters of the book have to be that ridiculous amateur toothpick-case collector, Mr. Robert Ferrars (with his little discussion in chapter xxxvi. about cottage life), and the perfectly matched Mr. and Mrs. John Dashwood. Miss Austen has never done anything better than the unforgettable and often-cited chapter where this couple debates how much money to give Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters; meanwhile, the suggestion in chapters xxxiii. and xxxiv. that the owner of Norland was almost in a position to sell at a loss deserves to be remembered alongside the memorable narrow escape of Sir Roger de Coverley’s ancestor, who only survived the civil wars because 'he was sent out of the field on a private message, the day before the battle of Worcester.'
Of local colouring there is as little in Sense and Sensibility as in Pride and Prejudice. It is not unlikely that some memories of Steventon may survive in Norland; and it may be noted that there is actually a Barton Place to the north of Exeter, not far from Lord Iddesleigh's well-known seat of Upton Pynes. It is scarcely possible, also, not to believe that, in Mrs. Jennings's description of Delaford—'a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old-fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner!'—Miss Austen had in mind some real Hampshire or Devonshire country house. In any case, it comes nearer a picture than what we usually get from her pen. 'Then there is a dovecote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and everything, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover,[xiv] it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so 'tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along.' The last lines suggest those quaint 'gazebos' and alcoves, which, in the coaching days, were so often to be found perched at the roadside, where one might sit and watch the Dover or Canterbury stage go whirling by. Of genteel accomplishments there is a touch In the 'landscape in coloured silks' which Charlotte Palmer had worked at school (chap, xxvi.); and of old remedies for the lost art of swooning, in the 'lavender drops' of chapter xxix. The mention of a dance as a 'little hop' in chapter ix. reads like a premature instance of middle Victorian slang. But nothing is new—even in a novel—and 'hop,' in this sense, is at least as old as Joseph Andrews.
There's almost no local color in Sense and Sensibility as there is in Pride and Prejudice. It's quite possible that some memories of Steventon linger in Norland; and it’s worth noting that there's actually a Barton Place north of Exeter, not too far from Lord Iddesleigh's famous estate at Upton Pynes. It’s hard not to believe that, in Mrs. Jennings's description of Delaford—'a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old-fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; completely enclosed by large garden walls covered with the best fruit trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner!'—Miss Austen might have had some real Hampshire or Devonshire country house in mind. In any case, it gives a better visual than what we usually get from her writing. 'Then there is a dovecote, some lovely fish ponds, and a very pretty canal; and everything, in short, that one could wish for; and, besides,[xiv] it’s close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the main road, so it’s never dull, because if you go and sit up in an old yew arbor behind the house, you can see all the carriages that pass by.' The last lines hint at those charming 'gazebos' and alcoves that were often found by the roadside during the coaching days, where one could sit and watch the Dover or Canterbury stage go rushing past. There’s a touch of genteel accomplishments in the 'landscape in colored silks' that Charlotte Palmer worked on at school (chap, xxvi.); and of old remedies for the lost art of swooning, in the 'lavender drops' mentioned in chapter xxix. Referring to a dance as a 'little hop' in chapter ix. feels like an early example of middle Victorian slang. But nothing is really new—even in a novel—and 'hop,' in this context, is at least as old as Joseph Andrews.
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
CHAPTER I
The family of Dashwood had long been settled in Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was at Norland Park, in the centre of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance. The late owner of this estate was a single man, who lived to a very advanced age, and who for many years of his life, had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. But her death, which happened ten years before his own, produced a great alteration in his home; for to supply her loss, he invited and received into his house the family of his nephew Mr. Henry Dashwood, the legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it. In the society of his nephew and niece, and their children, the old Gentleman's days were comfortably spent. His attachment to them all increased. The constant attention of Mr. and Mrs. Henry Dashwood to his wishes, which proceeded not merely from interest, but from goodness of heart, gave him every degree of solid comfort which his age could receive; and the cheerfulness of the children added a relish to his existence.
The Dashwood family had been settled in Sussex for a long time. Their estate was large, and they lived at Norland Park, right in the middle of their property, where they had maintained a respectable lifestyle for generations, winning the general approval of their neighbors. The previous owner of this estate was an elderly single man who lived to an advanced age and had, for many years, a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. However, her death, which occurred ten years before his own, greatly changed his home life. To fill the void left by her passing, he invited and welcomed the family of his nephew, Mr. Henry Dashwood, the legal heir to the Norland estate, and the person he intended to leave it to. In the company of his nephew, niece, and their children, the old gentleman spent his days comfortably. His bond with them grew stronger. The constant care from Mr. and Mrs. Henry Dashwood, rooted not just in self-interest but in genuine kindness, provided him with as much comfort as possible for his age, and the cheerful presence of the children made life more enjoyable for him.
By a former marriage, Mr. Henry Dashwood had one son: by his present lady, three daughters. The son, a steady respectable young man, was amply provided for by the fortune of his mother, which had been large, and half of which devolved on him on his coming of age. By his own marriage, likewise, which happened soon afterwards, he added to his wealth. To him therefore the succession to the Norland estate was not so really important as to his sisters; for their fortune, independent of what might arise to them from their father's inheriting that property, could be but small. Their mother had nothing, and their father only seven thousand pounds in his own disposal; for the remaining moiety of his first wife's fortune was also secured to her child, and he had only a life-interest in it.
Through a previous marriage, Mr. Henry Dashwood had one son; with his current wife, he had three daughters. The son, a responsible and respectable young man, was well provided for by his mother's considerable fortune, half of which he inherited upon turning eighteen. Shortly after, he got married, which further increased his wealth. Therefore, the inheritance of the Norland estate wasn’t as crucial for him as it was for his sisters, since their fortune, aside from what they might receive from their father's inheritance, was quite limited. Their mother had no fortune, and their father had only seven thousand pounds at his disposal; the other half of his first wife's fortune was secured for her child, and he only had a life-interest in it.
The old gentleman died: his will was read, and like almost every other will, gave as much disappointment as pleasure. He was neither so unjust, nor so ungrateful, as to leave his estate from his nephew; but he left it to him on such terms as destroyed half the value of the bequest. Mr. Dashwood had wished for it more for the sake of his wife and daughters than for himself or his son; but to his son, and his son's son, a child of four years old, it was secured, in such a way, as to leave to himself no power of providing for those who were most dear to him, and who most needed a provision by any charge on the estate, or by any sale of its valuable woods. The whole was tied up for the benefit of this child, who, in occasional visits with his father and mother at Norland, had so far gained on the affections of his uncle, by such attractions as are by no means unusual in children of two or three years old; an imperfect articulation, an earnest desire of having his own way, many cunning tricks, and a great deal of noise, as to outweigh all the value of all the attention which, for years, he had received from his niece and her daughters. He meant not to be unkind, however, and, as a mark of his affection for the three girls, he left them a thousand pounds a-piece.
The old gentleman passed away: his will was read, and like almost every other will, it brought as much disappointment as happiness. He wasn't so unfair or ungrateful as to cut his nephew out entirely; however, he left the estate under terms that diminished half its value. Mr. Dashwood had hoped for it more for the sake of his wife and daughters than for himself or his son; but to his son, and his son’s son, a four-year-old child, it was secured in such a way that left him no power to provide for those he cherished the most, who needed support through any charge on the estate or by selling its valuable woods. Everything was tied up for the benefit of this child, who, during occasional visits with his parents at Norland, had won his uncle's affection with the typical charms of toddlers—imperfect speech, a strong desire to have his own way, clever antics, and lots of noise, all of which outweighed the value of the attention he had received from his niece and her daughters for years. He didn’t intend to be unkind, though, and as a sign of his love for the three girls, he left them each a thousand pounds.
Mr. Dashwood's disappointment was, at first, severe; but his temper was cheerful and sanguine; and he might reasonably hope to live many years, and by living economically, lay by a considerable sum from the produce of an estate already large, and capable of almost immediate improvement. But the fortune, which had been so tardy in coming, was his only one twelvemonth. He survived his uncle no longer; and ten thousand pounds, including the late legacies, was all that remained for his widow and daughters.
Mr. Dashwood was really disappointed at first, but he was cheerful and optimistic. He could reasonably expect to live for many more years and, by living frugally, save a good amount from the earnings of an estate that was already large and could be improved quickly. However, the fortune that had taken so long to arrive was only his for a year. He didn’t outlive his uncle, and the ten thousand pounds, including the recent legacies, was all that was left for his wife and daughters.
His son was sent for as soon as his danger was known, and to him Mr. Dashwood recommended, with all the strength and urgency which illness could command, the interest of his mother-in-law and sisters.
His son was called for as soon as they realized he was in danger, and to him, Mr. Dashwood urged, with all the strength and urgency that his illness allowed, the importance of looking after his mother-in-law and sisters.
Mr. John Dashwood had not the strong feelings of the rest of the family; but he was affected by a recommendation of such a nature at such a time, and he promised to do every thing in his power to make them comfortable. His father was rendered easy by such an assurance, and Mr. John Dashwood had then leisure to consider how much there might prudently be in his power to do for them.
Mr. John Dashwood didn't have the strong emotions that the rest of the family did; however, he was influenced by a request like that at such a moment, and he promised to do everything he could to make them comfortable. His father felt reassured by this promise, and Mr. John Dashwood then had the time to think about how much he could reasonably do for them.
He was not an ill-disposed young man, unless to be rather cold hearted and rather selfish is to be ill-disposed: but he was, in general, well respected; for he conducted himself with propriety in the discharge of his ordinary duties. Had he married a more amiable woman, he might have been made still more respectable than he was: he might even have been made amiable himself; for he was very young when he married, and very fond of his wife. But Mrs. John Dashwood was a strong caricature of himself; more narrow-minded and selfish.
He wasn't a bad young man, unless being somewhat cold-hearted and selfish counts as being bad. Overall, he was well-respected because he handled his regular duties properly. If he had married a nicer woman, he could have been even more respectable; he might have even become a better person himself since he was very young when he married and really loved his wife. But Mrs. John Dashwood was a harsh version of him—more narrow-minded and selfish.
When he gave his promise to his father, he meditated within himself to increase the fortunes of his sisters by the present of a thousand pounds a-piece. He then really thought himself equal to it. The prospect of four thousand a-year, in addition to his present income, besides the remaining half of his own mother's fortune, warmed his heart, and made him feel capable of generosity. "Yes, he would give them three thousand pounds: it would be liberal and handsome! It would be enough to make them completely easy. Three thousand pounds! he could spare so considerable a sum with little inconvenience." He thought of it all day long, and for many days successively, and he did not repent.
When he promised his father, he thought to himself about boosting his sisters' fortunes with a gift of a thousand pounds each. He genuinely believed he could manage it. The idea of four thousand a year on top of what he already earned, along with the remaining half of his mother's fortune, filled him with warmth and made him feel generous. "Yes, he would give them three thousand pounds: that would be generous and impressive! It would be enough to make them completely comfortable. Three thousand pounds! He could part with such a significant amount without too much trouble." He contemplated this all day and for many consecutive days, and he didn't regret it.
No sooner was his father's funeral over, than Mrs. John Dashwood, without sending any notice of her intention to her mother-in-law, arrived with her child and their attendants. No one could dispute her right to come; the house was her husband's from the moment of his father's decease; but the indelicacy of her conduct was so much the greater, and to a woman in Mrs. Dashwood's situation, with only common feelings, must have been highly unpleasing. But in her mind there was a sense of honor so keen, a generosity so romantic, that any offence of the kind, by whomsoever given or received, was to her a source of immovable disgust. Mrs. John Dashwood had never been a favourite with any of her husband's family; but she had had no opportunity, till the present, of showing them with how little attention to the comfort of other people she could act when occasion required it.
As soon as her father-in-law's funeral was over, Mrs. John Dashwood showed up with her child and their staff, without giving any notice to her mother-in-law. No one could argue against her right to be there; the house belonged to her husband the moment his father passed away. However, her behavior was very inappropriate, and for a woman like Mrs. Dashwood, who only had normal feelings, it must have been quite upsetting. But in her mind, there was such a strong sense of honor and a so-called romantic generosity that any kind of offense, no matter who it came from or who it was directed at, filled her with deep disgust. Mrs. John Dashwood had never been popular with her husband's family, but she hadn’t had a chance until now to show them how little she cared about other people's feelings when it suited her.
So acutely did Mrs. Dashwood feel this ungracious behaviour, and so earnestly did she despise her daughter-in-law[5] for it, that, on the arrival of the latter, she would have quitted the house for ever, had not the entreaty of her eldest girl induced her first to reflect on the propriety of going, and her own tender love for all her three children determined her afterwards to stay, and for their sakes avoid a breach with their brother.
Mrs. Dashwood felt this unkind behavior so strongly and hated her daughter-in-law[5] for it so deeply that when the daughter-in-law arrived, she would have left the house for good if her oldest daughter hadn’t urged her to think about whether leaving was the right choice. Ultimately, her love for all three of her children made her decide to stay and avoid causing a rift with their brother.
Elinor, this eldest daughter, whose advice was so effectual, possessed a strength of understanding, and coolness of judgment, which qualified her, though only nineteen, to be the counsellor of her mother, and enabled her frequently to counteract, to the advantage of them all, that eagerness of mind in Mrs. Dashwood which must generally have led to imprudence. She had an excellent heart; her disposition was affectionate, and her feelings were strong; but she knew how to govern them: it was a knowledge which her mother had yet to learn; and which one of her sisters had resolved never to be taught.
Elinor, the eldest daughter, whose advice was so effective, had a strong understanding and a cool-headed judgment that made her, at just nineteen, capable of advising her mother. This often helped to balance out Mrs. Dashwood's impulsiveness, which could have easily led to mistakes. Elinor had a great heart; she was affectionate and felt deeply, but she knew how to manage her emotions. It was a lesson her mother still needed to learn and something one of her sisters had decided she would never learn.
Marianne's abilities were, in many respects, quite equal to Elinor's. She was sensible and clever; but eager in everything: her sorrows, her joys, could have no moderation. She was generous, amiable, interesting: she was everything but prudent. The resemblance between her and her mother was strikingly great.
Marianne's skills were, in many ways, on par with Elinor's. She was sensible and smart; but she was passionate about everything: her grief and her happiness knew no bounds. She was generous, likable, and captivating: she was anything but cautious. The similarity between her and her mother was strikingly apparent.
Elinor saw, with concern, the excess of her sister's sensibility; but by Mrs. Dashwood it was valued and cherished. They encouraged each other now in the violence of their affliction. The agony of grief which overpowered them at first, was voluntarily renewed, was sought for, was created again and again. They gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow, seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that could afford it, and resolved against ever admitting consolation in future. Elinor, too, was deeply afflicted; but still she could struggle, she could exert herself. She could consult with her brother, could receive her sister-in-law on her arrival, and treat her with proper attention; and could strive to rouse her mother to similar exertion, and encourage her to similar forbearance.
Elinor noticed, with concern, how overly sensitive her sister was; but Mrs. Dashwood valued and cherished it. They encouraged each other now in the intensity of their grief. The pain of loss that overwhelmed them at first was intentionally revisited, sought after, and recreated over and over. They completely surrendered to their sorrow, looking for more misery in every thought that could provide it, and made a pact to reject any consolation in the future. Elinor, too, was deeply hurt; but she could still fight, she could take action. She could talk with her brother, welcome her sister-in-law upon her arrival, and treat her with the appropriate care; and she could try to motivate her mother to do the same and encourage her to show similar restraint.
Margaret, the other sister, was a good-humored, well-disposed girl; but as she had already imbibed a good deal of Marianne's romance, without having much of her sense, she did not, at thirteen, bid fair to equal her sisters at a more advanced period of life.
Margaret, the other sister, was a cheerful and friendly girl; but since she had already taken in a lot of Marianne's romantic ideas, without having much of her wisdom, she didn’t seem likely at thirteen to match her sisters in the future.
CHAPTER II
Mrs. John Dashwood now installed herself mistress of Norland; and her mother and sisters-in-law were degraded to the condition of visitors. As such, however, they were treated by her with quiet civility; and by her husband with as much kindness as he could feel towards anybody beyond himself, his wife, and their child. He really pressed them, with some earnestness, to consider Norland as their home; and, as no plan appeared so eligible to Mrs. Dashwood as remaining there till she could accommodate herself with a house in the neighbourhood, his invitation was accepted.
Mrs. John Dashwood had now taken over as the head of Norland, while her mother and sisters-in-law were reduced to the status of guests. Still, she treated them with calm politeness, and her husband showed them as much kindness as he could muster toward anyone besides himself, his wife, and their child. He genuinely urged them to think of Norland as their home, and since Mrs. Dashwood found no better option than staying there until she could find a place nearby, they accepted his invitation.
A continuance in a place where everything reminded her of former delight, was exactly what suited her mind. In seasons of cheerfulness, no temper could be more cheerful than hers, or possess, in a greater degree, that sanguine expectation of happiness which is happiness itself. But in sorrow she must be equally carried away by her fancy, and as far beyond consolation as in pleasure she was beyond alloy.
Staying in a place where everything reminded her of past joy was exactly what her mind needed. During happy times, no one could be more cheerful than she was, or have a more hopeful outlook on happiness, which is true happiness. But in sadness, she would get just as lost in her thoughts, and much farther from comfort than she was from any downside during her joyful moments.
Mrs. John Dashwood did not at all approve of what her husband intended to do for his sisters. To take three thousand pounds from the fortune of their dear little boy would be impoverishing him to the most dreadful degree. She begged him to think again on the subject. How could he answer it to himself to rob his child, and his only child too, of so large a sum? And what possible claim could the Miss Dashwoods, who were related to him only by half blood, which she considered as no relationship at all, have on his generosity to so large an amount. It was very well known that no affection was ever supposed to exist between the children of any man by different marriages; and why was he to ruin himself, and their poor little Harry, by giving away all his money to his half sisters?
Mrs. John Dashwood completely disagreed with what her husband planned to do for his sisters. Taking three thousand pounds from their dear little boy's fortune would leave him in a terrible financial situation. She urged him to reconsider. How could he justify taking such a large sum from his child, his only child? And what claim could the Miss Dashwoods, who were only related to him by half blood—which she viewed as no relationship at all—have on his generosity for such a significant amount? It was well-known that there was never any affection between the children of a man from different marriages; so why should he jeopardize his financial future, and that of their poor little Harry, by giving away all his money to his half-sisters?
"It was my father's last request to me," replied her husband, "that I should assist his widow and daughters."
"It was my dad's last request to me," her husband replied, "that I help his wife and daughters."
"He did not know what he was talking of, I dare say; ten to one but he was light-headed at the time. Had he been in his right senses, he could not have thought of such a thing as[7] begging you to give away half your fortune from your own child."
"He didn’t know what he was talking about, I bet; there’s a good chance he was a bit out of it at the time. If he had been thinking straight, he wouldn’t have even considered such a thing as[7] asking you to give away half your fortune from your own child."
"He did not stipulate for any particular sum, my dear Fanny; he only requested me, in general terms, to assist them, and make their situation more comfortable than it was in his power to do. Perhaps it would have been as well if he had left it wholly to myself. He could hardly suppose I should neglect them. But as he required the promise, I could not do less than give it; at least I thought so at the time. The promise, therefore, was given, and must be performed. Something must be done for them whenever they leave Norland and settle in a new home."
"He didn’t specify any particular amount, my dear Fanny; he just asked me to help them in general terms and to make their situation more comfortable than he could manage. Maybe it would have been better if he had fully entrusted it to me. He could hardly think I would ignore them. But since he asked for the promise, I felt I had to give it; or at least that’s what I thought at the time. So, the promise was made and it has to be fulfilled. Something has to be done for them whenever they leave Norland and settle into a new home."
"Well, then, let something be done for them; but that something need not be three thousand pounds. Consider," she added, "that when the money is once parted with, it never can return. Your sisters will marry, and it will be gone for ever. If, indeed, it could be restored to our poor little boy—"
"Well, then, let something be done for them; but that something doesn’t have to be three thousand pounds. Think about it," she added, "once the money is given away, it can never come back. Your sisters will get married, and it will be gone forever. If only it could be given back to our poor little boy—"
"Why, to be sure," said her husband, very gravely, "that would make great difference. The time may come when Harry will regret that so large a sum was parted with. If he should have a numerous family, for instance, it would be a very convenient addition."
"Of course," her husband replied seriously, "that would make a big difference. There might be a time when Harry regrets giving away such a large amount. If he has a lot of kids, for example, it would be a really helpful addition."
"To be sure it would."
"To be sure it will."
"Perhaps, then, it would be better for all parties, if the sum were diminished one half. Five hundred pounds would be a prodigious increase to their fortunes!"
"Maybe it would be better for everyone if the amount were cut in half. Five hundred pounds would be an incredible boost to their wealth!"
"Oh! beyond anything great! What brother on earth would do half so much for his sisters, even if really his sisters! And as it is—only half blood! But you have such a generous spirit!"
"Oh! beyond anything amazing! What brother on earth would do even half as much for his sisters, even if they were actually his sisters! And as it stands—just half blood! But you have such a big-hearted spirit!"
"I would not wish to do any thing mean," he replied. "One had rather, on such occasions, do too much than too little. No one, at least, can think I have not done enough for them: even themselves, they can hardly expect more."
"I wouldn’t want to do anything petty," he replied. "On occasions like this, it’s better to do too much than too little. No one, at least, can think I haven’t done enough for them; even they can hardly expect more."
"There is no knowing what they may expect," said the lady, "but we are not to think of their expectations: the question is, what you can afford to do."
"There’s no way to know what they might expect," said the lady, "but we shouldn’t focus on their expectations: the real question is, what can you afford to do?"
"Certainly; and I think I may afford to give them five hundred pounds a-piece. As it is, without any addition of mine, they will each have about three thousand pounds on[8] their mother's death—a very comfortable fortune for any young woman."
"Of course; and I think I can afford to give them five hundred pounds each. As it stands, without any extra from me, they will each have about three thousand pounds on[8] their mother's death—a quite comfortable fortune for any young woman."
"To be sure it is; and, indeed, it strikes me that they can want no addition at all. They will have ten thousand pounds divided amongst them. If they marry, they will be sure of doing well, and if they do not, they may all live very comfortably together on the interest of ten thousand pounds."
"That’s definitely true; in fact, I believe they don’t need anything else. They will split ten thousand pounds among themselves. If they get married, they’re bound to do well, and if they don’t, they can all live very comfortably together on the interest from ten thousand pounds."
"That is very true, and, therefore, I do not know whether, upon the whole, it would not be more advisable to do something for their mother while she lives, rather than for them—something of the annuity kind I mean. My sisters would feel the good effects of it as well as herself. A hundred a year would make them all perfectly comfortable."
"That's very true, and because of that, I'm not sure if it wouldn't be better to do something for their mother while she's still alive instead of for them—something like an annuity. My sisters would benefit from it just as much as she would. A hundred a year would make all of them perfectly comfortable."
His wife hesitated a little, however, in giving her consent to this plan.
His wife hesitated a bit, though, in agreeing to this plan.
"To be sure," said she, "it is better than parting with fifteen hundred pounds at once. But, then, if Mrs. Dashwood should live fifteen years we shall be completely taken in."
"Sure," she said, "it's better than losing fifteen hundred pounds all at once. But, if Mrs. Dashwood lives for another fifteen years, we could end up completely fooled."
"Fifteen years! my dear Fanny; her life cannot be worth half that purchase."
"Fifteen years! My dear Fanny, her life isn’t worth even half of that."
"Certainly not; but if you observe, people always live for ever when there is an annuity to be paid them; and she is very stout and healthy, and hardly forty. An annuity is a very serious business; it comes over and over every year, and there is no getting rid of it. You are not aware of what you are doing. I have known a great deal of the trouble of annuities; for my mother was clogged with the payment of three to old superannuated servants by my father's will, and it is amazing how disagreeable she found it. Twice every year these annuities were to be paid; and then there was the trouble of getting it to them; and then one of them was said to have died, and afterwards it turned out to be no such thing. My mother was quite sick of it. Her income was not her own, she said, with such perpetual claims on it; and it was the more unkind in my father, because, otherwise, the money would have been entirely at my mother's disposal, without any restriction whatever. It has given me such an abhorrence of annuities, that I am sure I would not pin myself down to the payment of one for all the world."
"Definitely not; but if you notice, people always seem to live forever when there's an annuity involved, and she's pretty strong and healthy, and barely forty. Annuities are a big deal; they come around every year, and there's no escaping them. You don't realize what you're getting into. I've seen a lot of the headaches that come with annuities; my mom was burdened with paying three to old retired servants because of my dad's will, and it's incredible how much she disliked it. Twice a year, these annuities had to be paid; then there was the hassle of delivering the payments to them; and once, one of them was rumored to have died, but it turned out that wasn't the case at all. My mom was really fed up with it. She said her income wasn't truly hers with all these ongoing claims on it; and it was particularly unkind of my dad because otherwise, the money would have been completely at my mom's disposal, with no strings attached. It's made me absolutely hate the idea of annuities; I’m sure I wouldn’t want to commit to paying one for anything in the world."
"It is certainly an unpleasant thing," replied Mr. Dashwood, "to have those kind of yearly drains on one's income. One's[9] fortune, as your mother justly says, is not one's own. To be tied down to the regular payment of such a sum, on every rent day, is by no means desirable: it takes away one's independence."
"It’s definitely a frustrating situation," replied Mr. Dashwood, "to have those annual expenses eat into your income. As your mother rightly says, your fortune is not truly yours. Being bound to pay such an amount on every rent day is hardly ideal; it strips away your independence."
"Undoubtedly; and after all you have no thanks for it. They think themselves secure, you do no more than what is expected, and it raises no gratitude at all. If I were you, whatever I did should be done at my own discretion entirely. I would not bind myself to allow them any thing yearly. It may be very inconvenient some years to spare a hundred, or even fifty pounds from our own expenses."
"Definitely; and in the end, you get no appreciation for it. They believe they’re safe, you’re only doing what’s expected, and it doesn’t create any gratitude at all. If I were in your shoes, I would do whatever I wanted without any commitments. I wouldn’t tie myself down to give them anything every year. It could be really tough some years to set aside a hundred or even fifty pounds from our own budget."
"I believe you are right, my love; it will be better that there should be no annuity in the case; whatever I may give them occasionally will be of far greater assistance than a yearly allowance, because they would only enlarge their style of living if they felt sure of a larger income, and would not be sixpence the richer for it at the end of the year. It will certainly be much the best way. A present of fifty pounds, now and then, will prevent their ever being distressed for money, and will, I think, be amply discharging my promise to my father."
"I think you're right, my love; it's better not to have any kind of yearly payment in this situation. Whatever I give them now and then will be way more helpful than a regular allowance, because they would just upgrade their lifestyle if they felt secure about a bigger income, and they wouldn’t really have any more money at the end of the year. It's definitely the best approach. A gift of fifty pounds now and then will keep them from ever struggling for cash, and I think it will fully fulfill my promise to my father."
"To be sure it will. Indeed, to say the truth, I am convinced within myself that your father had no idea of your giving them any money at all. The assistance he thought of, I dare say, was only such as might be reasonably expected of you; for instance, such as looking out for a comfortable small house for them, helping them to move their things, and sending them presents of fish and game, and so forth, whenever they are in season. I'll lay my life that he meant nothing farther; indeed, it would be very strange and unreasonable if he did. Do but consider, my dear Mr. Dashwood, how excessively comfortable your mother-in-law and her daughters may live on the interest of seven thousand pounds, besides the thousand pounds belonging to each of the girls, which brings them in fifty pounds a year a-piece, and, of course, they will pay their mother for their board out of it. Altogether, they will have five hundred a-year amongst them, and what on earth can four women want for more than that?—They will live so cheap! Their housekeeping will be nothing at all. They will have no carriage, no horses, and hardly any servants; they will keep no company, and can have no expenses of any kind! Only[10] conceive how comfortable they will be! Five hundred a year! I am sure I cannot imagine how they will spend half of it; and as to your giving them more, it is quite absurd to think of it. They will be much more able to give you something."
"Absolutely, it will. Honestly, I firmly believe that your father had no idea you would give them any money at all. The support he was thinking of, I'm sure, was just what anyone would reasonably expect from you—like finding them a cozy small house, helping them move their stuff, and sending them gifts of fish and game whenever it’s in season. I bet he meant nothing more than that; it would be quite strange and unreasonable if he did. Just think about it, my dear Mr. Dashwood, how comfortably your mother-in-law and her daughters could live on the interest from seven thousand pounds, plus the thousand pounds each of the girls have, which brings them fifty pounds a year each. Of course, they’ll pay their mom for their board from that. All together, they’ll have five hundred a year among them, and what on earth could four women possibly want beyond that? They will live so cheaply! Their household expenses will be minimal. They won't have a carriage, no horses, and hardly any servants; they won’t entertain guests, so their expenses will be practically nonexistent! Just imagine how comfortable they’ll be! Five hundred a year! I really can’t picture how they’ll spend even half of it; and as for you giving them more, that's just ridiculous to even consider. They'll be much more able to give you something."
"Upon my word," said Mr. Dashwood, "I believe you are perfectly right. My father certainly could mean nothing more by his request to me than what you say. I clearly understand it now, and I will strictly fulfil my engagement by such acts of assistance and kindness to them as you have described. When my mother removes into another house my services shall be readily given to accommodate her as far as I can. Some little present of furniture too may be acceptable then."
"Honestly," Mr. Dashwood said, "I think you’re absolutely right. My father couldn’t have meant anything more by his request than what you’ve suggested. I get it now, and I’ll definitely stick to my commitment by helping and being kind to them as you described. When my mom moves into another house, I’ll be happy to help her out as much as I can. A small gift of furniture might be appreciated then, too."
"Certainly," returned Mrs. John Dashwood. "But, however, one thing must be considered. When your father and mother moved to Norland, though the furniture of Stanhill was sold, all the china, plate, and linen was saved, and is now left to your mother. Her house will therefore be almost completely fitted up as soon as she takes it."
"Of course," replied Mrs. John Dashwood. "But one thing needs to be taken into account. When your father and mother moved to Norland, even though the furniture from Stanhill was sold, all the china, silverware, and linens were saved, and they are now left to your mother. Her house will therefore be nearly fully furnished as soon as she moves in."
"That is a material consideration undoubtedly. A valuable legacy indeed! And yet some of the plate would have been a very pleasant addition to our own stock here."
"That’s definitely an important point. What a valuable legacy! Still, some of the silverware would have been a really nice addition to our own collection here."
"Yes; and the set of breakfast china is twice as handsome as what belongs to this house. A great deal too handsome, in my opinion, for any place they can ever afford to live in. But, however, so it is. Your father thought only of them And I must say this: that you owe no particular gratitude to him, nor attention to his wishes; for we very well know that if he could, he would have left almost everything in the world to them."
"Yes, and the breakfast china set is twice as nice as what this house has. In my opinion, it's way too nice for any place they could ever afford. But that’s how it is. Your father was only thinking about them. And I must say this: you don’t owe him any special gratitude or attention to his wishes, because we all know that if he could, he would have left almost everything in the world to them."
This argument was irresistible. It gave to his intentions whatever of decision was wanting before; and he finally resolved, that it would be absolutely unnecessary, if not highly indecorous, to do more for the widow and children of his father, than such kind of neighbourly acts as his own wife pointed out.
This argument was impossible to resist. It provided his intentions with the decisiveness they previously lacked; and he ultimately decided that it would be completely unnecessary, if not quite inappropriate, to do more for his father's widow and children than the simple neighborly gestures his own wife suggested.
CHAPTER III
Mrs. Dashwood remained at Norland several months; not from any disinclination to move when the sight of every well known spot ceased to raise the violent emotion which it produced[11] for a while; for when her spirits began to revive, and her mind became capable of some other exertion than that of heightening its affliction by melancholy remembrances, she was impatient to be gone, and indefatigable in her inquiries for a suitable dwelling in the neighbourhood of Norland; for to remove far from that beloved spot was impossible. But she could hear of no situation that at once answered her notions of comfort and ease, and suited the prudence of her eldest daughter, whose steadier judgment rejected several houses as too large for their income, which her mother would have approved.
Mrs. Dashwood stayed at Norland for several months, not because she didn't want to leave when the sight of every familiar spot stopped evoking such strong emotions for a while. Once her spirits started to lift and she could think about something other than deepening her sadness with melancholic memories, she was eager to move and tirelessly searched for a suitable place nearby. Moving far away from that cherished location was out of the question. However, she couldn’t find any place that met her ideas of comfort and ease while also being practical for her oldest daughter. Her daughter’s more rational judgment ruled out several houses as being too expensive for their budget, which her mother would have liked.
Mrs. Dashwood had been informed by her husband of the solemn promise on the part of his son in their favour, which gave comfort to his last earthly reflections. She doubted the sincerity of this assurance no more than he had doubted it himself, and she thought of it for her daughters' sake with satisfaction, though as for herself she was persuaded that a much smaller provision than 7000L would support her in affluence. For their brother's sake, too, for the sake of his own heart, she rejoiced; and she reproached herself for being unjust to his merit before, in believing him incapable of generosity. His attentive behaviour to herself and his sisters convinced her that their welfare was dear to him, and, for a long time, she firmly relied on the liberality of his intentions.
Mrs. Dashwood had been told by her husband about the serious promise made by his son on their behalf, which brought him comfort in his final moments. She doubted the sincerity of this assurance no more than he had, and she thought of it with satisfaction for her daughters' sake, although she believed that a much smaller amount than £7,000 would be enough to support her comfortably. For her brother's sake, too, for the sake of his own heart, she felt happy; and she scolded herself for being unfair to his character before, thinking he was incapable of generosity. His attentive behavior toward her and his sisters convinced her that their well-being was important to him, and for a long time, she confidently trusted in his generous intentions.
The contempt which she had, very early in their acquaintance, felt for her daughter-in-law, was very much increased by the farther knowledge of her character, which half a year's residence in her family afforded; and perhaps in spite of every consideration of politeness or maternal affection on the side of the former, the two ladies might have found it impossible to have lived together so long, had not a particular circumstance occurred to give still greater eligibility, according to the opinions of Mrs. Dashwood, to her daughters' continuance at Norland.
The disdain she had felt for her daughter-in-law early on in their relationship grew even stronger as she learned more about her character during the six months they lived together. Despite any attempts at politeness or maternal love on the part of the mother, it’s likely that the two women would have struggled to coexist for that long if it weren't for a specific situation that Mrs. Dashwood believed made it even more acceptable for her daughters to stay at Norland.
This circumstance was a growing attachment between her eldest girl and the brother of Mrs. John Dashwood, a gentlemanlike and pleasing young man, who was introduced to their acquaintance soon after his sister's establishment at Norland, and who had since spent the greatest part of his time there.[13]
This situation led to a developing bond between her oldest daughter and the brother of Mrs. John Dashwood, a charming and likable young man. He was introduced to them shortly after his sister settled at Norland and had since spent most of his time there.[13]
Some mothers might have encouraged the intimacy from motives of interest, for Edward Ferrars was the eldest son of a man who had died very rich; and some might have repressed it from motives of prudence, for, except a trifling sum, the whole of his fortune depended on the will of his mother. But Mrs. Dashwood was alike uninfluenced by either consideration. It was enough for her that he appeared to be amiable, that he loved her daughter, and that Elinor returned the partiality. It was contrary to every doctrine of her's that difference of fortune should keep any couple asunder who were attracted by resemblance of disposition; and that Elinor's merit should not be acknowledged by every one who knew her, was to her comprehension impossible.
Some mothers might have promoted the closeness for selfish reasons, since Edward Ferrars was the eldest son of a very wealthy man who had passed away. Others might have discouraged it out of caution, as his entire fortune, aside from a small amount, relied on his mother's will. But Mrs. Dashwood was not influenced by either reason. All that mattered to her was that he seemed kind, that he loved her daughter, and that Elinor felt the same way. It went against everything she believed that a difference in wealth should keep two people apart when they were drawn together by similar personalities; and she found it impossible to understand why everyone who knew Elinor didn’t recognize her worth.
Edward Ferrars was not recommended to their good opinion by any peculiar graces of person or address. He was not handsome, and his manners required intimacy to make them pleasing. He was too diffident to do justice to himself; but when his natural shyness was overcome, his behaviour gave every indication of an open, affectionate heart. His understanding was good, and his education had given it solid improvement. But he was neither fitted by abilities nor disposition to answer the wishes of his mother and sister, who longed to see him distinguished as—they hardly knew what. They wanted him to make a fine figure in the world in some manner or other. His mother wished to interest him in political concerns, to get him into parliament, or to see him connected with some of the great men of the day. Mrs. John Dashwood wished it likewise; but in the mean while, till one of these superior blessings could be attained, it would have quieted her ambition to see him driving a barouche. But Edward had no turn for great men or barouches. All his wishes centered in domestic comfort and the quiet of private life. Fortunately he had a younger brother who was more promising.
Edward Ferrars didn’t win people over with any special charm or looks. He wasn't handsome, and he needed close friendships to come across as pleasant. He was too shy to truly showcase himself; but once he got past his natural awkwardness, he showed signs of a warm, loving heart. He was smart, and his education had improved his intellect. However, he didn’t have the skills or personality to meet the expectations of his mother and sister, who wanted to see him succeed in a way that they could hardly define. They wanted him to stand out in the world somehow. His mother hoped he would get involved in politics, join parliament, or associate with prominent people. Mrs. John Dashwood wanted this too; but in the meantime, until one of those higher ambitions could be achieved, she would have been satisfied just to see him driving a fancy carriage. But Edward had no interest in powerful people or fancy carriages. His desires were all about finding comfort at home and enjoying a quiet life. Fortunately, he had a younger brother who seemed more promising.
Edward had been staying several weeks in the house before he engaged much of Mrs. Dashwood's attention; for she was, at that time, in such affliction as rendered her careless of surrounding objects. She saw only that he was quiet and unobtrusive, and she liked him for it. He did not disturb the wretchedness of her mind by ill-timed conversation. She was first called to observe and approve him farther, by a reflection[14] which Elinor chanced one day to make on the difference between him and his sister. It was a contrast which recommended him most forcibly to her mother.
Edward had been staying at the house for several weeks before he caught much of Mrs. Dashwood's attention; she was, at that time, so distressed that she was unaware of her surroundings. She noticed only that he was quiet and unassuming, and she appreciated that about him. He didn’t disrupt the turmoil of her mind with inappropriate conversation. It was only when Elinor happened to mention one day the difference between him and his sister that Mrs. Dashwood started to notice and approve of him more. This contrast made him particularly appealing to her mother.
"It is enough," said she; "to say that he is unlike Fanny is enough. It implies everything amiable. I love him already."
"It’s enough," she said; "just saying he’s not like Fanny says it all. It implies everything good. I already love him."
"I think you will like him," said Elinor, "when you know more of him."
"I think you'll like him," Elinor said, "once you get to know him better."
"Like him!" replied her mother with a smile. "I feel no sentiment of approbation inferior to love."
"Like him!" her mother replied with a smile. "I feel no feeling of approval that's less than love."
"You may esteem him."
"You might think highly of him."
"I have never yet known what it was to separate esteem and love."
"I have never really understood how to separate respect and love."
Mrs. Dashwood now took pains to get acquainted with him. Her manners were attaching, and soon banished his reserve. She speedily comprehended all his merits; the persuasion of his regard for Elinor perhaps assisted her penetration; but she really felt assured of his worth: and even that quietness of manner, which militated against all her established ideas of what a young man's address ought to be, was no longer uninteresting when she knew his heart to be warm and his temper affectionate.
Mrs. Dashwood made an effort to get to know him. Her friendly demeanor quickly swept away his shyness. She quickly recognized all his qualities; the belief that he cared for Elinor may have helped her insight, but she genuinely felt confident in his value. Even his calm demeanor, which contradicted her preconceived notions of how a young man should behave, became interesting once she realized he had a kind heart and a loving nature.
No sooner did she perceive any symptom of love in his behaviour to Elinor, than she considered their serious attachment as certain, and looked forward to their marriage as rapidly approaching.
As soon as she noticed any sign of affection in his behavior towards Elinor, she assumed their serious relationship was a done deal and expected their wedding to be happening soon.
"In a few months, my dear Marianne," said she, "Elinor will, in all probability be settled for life. We shall miss her; but she will be happy."
"In a few months, my dear Marianne," she said, "Elinor will probably be settled for life. We'll miss her, but she will be happy."
"Oh! Mamma, how shall we do without her?"
"Oh! Mom, how are we going to manage without her?"
"My love, it will be scarcely a separation. We shall live within a few miles of each other, and shall meet every day of our lives. You will gain a brother—a real, affectionate brother. I have the highest opinion in the world of Edward's heart. But you look grave, Marianne; do you disapprove your sister's choice?"
"My love, it won’t really be a separation. We’ll live just a few miles apart and see each other every day. You’ll gain a brother—a true, caring brother. I have the utmost respect for Edward’s heart. But you look serious, Marianne; do you not approve of your sister's choice?"
"Perhaps," said Marianne, "I may consider it with some surprise. Edward is very amiable, and I love him tenderly. But yet—he is not the kind of young man; there is something wanting—his figure is not striking; it has none of that grace which I should expect in the man who could seriously attach[15] my sister. His eyes want all that spirit, that fire, which at once announce virtue and intelligence. And besides all this, I am afraid, Mamma, he has no real taste. Music seems scarcely to attract him, and though he admires Elinor's drawings very much, it is not the admiration of a person who can understand their worth. It is evident, in spite of his frequent attention to her while she draws, that in fact he knows nothing of the matter. He admires as a lover, not as a connoisseur. To satisfy me, those characters must be united. I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. He must enter into all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both. Oh! mama, how spiritless, how tame was Edward's manner in reading to us last night! I felt for my sister most severely. Yet she bore it with so much composure, she seemed scarcely to notice it. I could hardly keep my seat. To hear those beautiful lines which have frequently almost driven me wild, pronounced with such impenetrable calmness, such dreadful indifference!"
"Maybe," said Marianne, "I’m a bit surprised by it. Edward is really nice, and I care about him a lot. But still—he's not the type of guy; there's something missing—his appearance is not impressive; he lacks that grace I would expect in someone who could truly win my sister's heart. His eyes lack the spirit and passion that show off both virtue and intelligence. Plus, I’m worried, Mom, that he has no real taste. Music doesn't seem to interest him much, and while he admires Elinor's drawings a lot, it’s not the admiration of someone who understands their value. It’s clear, despite his frequent attention while she draws, that he really doesn't know much about it. He admires her as a lover, not as an expert. To satisfy me, those qualities need to go hand in hand. I couldn’t be happy with a guy whose taste didn’t match mine in every way. He has to share my feelings; the same books, the same music should move us both. Oh! Mom, how dull and lifeless Edward was when reading to us last night! I felt so bad for my sister. Yet she handled it with such calmness, she barely seemed to notice. I could hardly stay in my seat. Hearing those beautiful lines that have often made me feel so intense, read with such unyielding calmness, such awful indifference!"
"He would certainly have done more justice to simple and elegant prose. I thought so at the time; but you would give him Cowper."
"He definitely would have better captured simple and elegant prose. I thought so back then; but you would give him Cowper."
"Nay, Mamma, if he is not to be animated by Cowper!—but we must allow for difference of taste. Elinor has not my feelings, and therefore she may overlook it, and be happy with him. But it would have broke my heart, had I loved him, to hear him read with so little sensibility. Mama, the more I know of the world, the more am I convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much! He must have all Edward's virtues, and his person and manners must ornament his goodness with every possible charm."
"No, Mom, if he can't be inspired by Cowper!—but we have to accept that people have different tastes. Elinor doesn’t feel as I do, so she might overlook it and be happy with him. But it would have broken my heart, if I loved him, to hear him read with so little feeling. Mom, the more I learn about the world, the more I'm convinced that I’ll never find a man whom I can truly love. I want so much! He must have all of Edward's virtues, and his looks and manners must enhance his goodness with every possible charm."
"Remember, my love, that you are not seventeen. It is yet too early in life to despair of such a happiness. Why should you be less fortunate than your mother? In one circumstance only, my Marianne, may your destiny be different from her's!"
"Remember, my love, that you are not seventeen. It's still too early in life to lose hope for such happiness. Why should you be less fortunate than your mother? In only one way, my Marianne, may your fate be different from hers!"
CHAPTER IV
"What a pity it is, Elinor," said Marianne, "that Edward should have no taste for drawing."
"What a shame it is, Elinor," said Marianne, "that Edward doesn't have an interest in drawing."
"No taste for drawing!" replied Elinor, "why should you think so? He does not draw himself, indeed, but he has great pleasure in seeing the performances of other people, and I assure you he is by no means deficient in natural taste, though he has not had opportunities of improving it. Had he ever been in the way of learning, I think he would have drawn very well. He distrusts his own judgment in such matters so much, that he is always unwilling to give his opinion on any picture; but he has an innate propriety and simplicity of taste, which in general direct him perfectly right."
"No interest in drawing!" Elinor replied, "Why would you think that? He doesn't draw himself, but he really enjoys watching others do it, and I assure you, he definitely has a natural sense of taste, even though he hasn't had the chance to refine it. If he had ever had the opportunity to learn, I believe he would have been a good artist. He’s so unsure of his own judgment in these matters that he hesitates to share his opinion on any artwork; however, he has an inherent sense of taste that generally guides him quite well."
Marianne was afraid of offending, and said no more on the subject; but the kind of approbation which Elinor described as excited in him by the drawings of other people, was very far from that rapturous delight, which, in her opinion, could alone be called taste. Yet, though smiling within herself at the mistake, she honoured her sister for that blind partiality to Edward which produced it.
Marianne was afraid of upsetting anyone and didn’t say anything else about it; however, the approval that Elinor said he felt from other people's drawings was nowhere near the ecstatic joy that, in her view, could truly be called taste. Still, while secretly amused by the misunderstanding, she admired her sister for that blind favoritism towards Edward that caused it.
"I hope, Marianne," continued Elinor, "you do not consider him as deficient in general taste. Indeed, I think I may say that you cannot, for your behaviour to him is perfectly cordial, and if that were your opinion, I am sure you could never be civil to him."
"I hope, Marianne," Elinor continued, "you don't think he's lacking in general taste. In fact, I think it's safe to say you can't, because your behavior toward him is completely friendly, and if that were your opinion, I’m sure you wouldn't be nice to him at all."
Marianne hardly knew what to say. She would not wound the feelings of her sister on any account, and yet to say what she did not believe was impossible. At length she replied:
Marianne barely knew what to say. She didn't want to hurt her sister's feelings at all, but it was impossible to say something she didn't believe. Finally, she answered:
"Do not be offended, Elinor, if my praise of him is not in every thing equal to your sense of his merits. I have not had so many opportunities of estimating the minuter propensities of his mind, his inclinations and tastes, as you have; but I have the highest opinion in the world of his goodness and sense. I think him every thing that is worthy and amiable."
"Please don’t take it the wrong way, Elinor, if my praise for him doesn’t fully match your understanding of his qualities. I haven’t had as many chances to observe the finer details of his character, his preferences, and interests, as you have; but I have the utmost respect for his kindness and intelligence. I consider him everything that is admirable and likable."
"I am sure," replied Elinor, with a smile, "that his dearest friends could not be dissatisfied with such commendation as[17] that. I do not perceive how you could express yourself more warmly."
"I’m sure," Elinor replied with a smile, "that his closest friends wouldn’t be unhappy with praise like that. I can’t see how you could say it any more enthusiastically."
Marianne was rejoiced to find her sister so easily pleased.
Marianne was thrilled to see how easily her sister could be pleased.
"Of his sense and his goodness," continued Elinor, "no one can, I think, be in doubt, who has seen him often enough to engage him in unreserved conversation. The excellence of his understanding and his principles can be concealed only by that shyness which too often keeps him silent. You know enough of him to do justice to his solid worth. But of his minuter propensities, as you call them you have from peculiar circumstances been kept more ignorant than myself. He and I have been at times thrown a good deal together, while you have been wholly engrossed on the most affectionate principle by my mother. I have seen a great deal of him, have studied his sentiments and heard his opinion on subjects of literature and taste; and, upon the whole, I venture to pronounce that his mind is well-informed, enjoyment of books exceedingly great, his imagination lively, his observation just and correct, and his taste delicate and pure. His abilities in every respect improve as much upon acquaintance as his manners and person. At first sight, his address is certainly not striking; and his person can hardly be called handsome, till the expression of his eyes, which are uncommonly good, and the general sweetness of his countenance, is perceived. At present, I know him so well, that I think him really handsome; or at least, almost so. What say you, Marianne?"
"Regarding his intelligence and kindness," Elinor continued, "I believe no one can doubt it who has spent enough time with him to engage in open conversation. His understanding and principles can only be hidden by the shyness that often keeps him quiet. You know him well enough to appreciate his solid character. However, due to unique circumstances, you've been less aware of his finer traits than I have. He and I have spent quite a bit of time together while you've been completely focused on my mother out of affection. I've seen a lot of him, examined his views, and listened to his opinions on literature and taste; overall, I feel confident saying that he is well-informed, has a great love of books, a lively imagination, sharp observation, and pure, delicate taste. His abilities grow as you get to know him, just like his manners and appearance. At first glance, his demeanor may not be striking, and he isn't exactly conventionally handsome until you notice the remarkable expression in his eyes and the overall sweetness of his face. Right now, I know him so well that I actually find him quite good-looking, or at least nearly so. What do you think, Marianne?"
"I shall very soon think him handsome, Elinor, if I do not now. When you tell me to love him as a brother, I shall no more see imperfection in his face, than I now do in his heart."
"I'll soon find him attractive, Elinor, if I don't already. When you tell me to love him like a brother, I won't see any flaws in his face, just as I don't see any in his heart now."
Elinor started at this declaration, and was sorry for the warmth she had been betrayed into, in speaking of him. She felt that Edward stood very high in her opinion. She believed the regard to be mutual; but she required greater certainty of it to make Marianne's conviction of their attachment agreeable to her. She knew that what Marianne and her mother conjectured one moment, they believed the next—that with them, to wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect. She tried to explain the real state of the case to her sister.
Elinor was taken aback by this declaration and regretted the enthusiasm she had shown in talking about him. She realized that Edward was very important to her. She thought the feeling was mutual, but she needed more assurance to make Marianne's belief in their relationship comfortable for her. She understood that what Marianne and their mother speculated one moment, they believed the next—that for them, to wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect. She tried to clarify the true situation to her sister.
"I do not attempt to deny," said she, "that I think very highly of him—that I greatly esteem, that I like him."
"I don't try to deny," she said, "that I think very highly of him—that I respect him a lot, that I like him."
"Esteem him! Like him! Cold-hearted Elinor! Oh! worse than cold-hearted! Ashamed of being otherwise. Use those words again, and I will leave the room this moment."
"Value him! Like him! Unfeeling Elinor! Oh! even worse than unfeeling! Ashamed to feel anything else. Say those words again, and I will walk out of this room right now."
Elinor could not help laughing. "Excuse me," said she; "and be assured that I meant no offence to you, by speaking, in so quiet a way, of my own feelings. Believe them to be stronger than I have declared; believe them, in short, to be such as his merit, and the suspicion—the hope—of his affection for me may warrant, without imprudence or folly. But farther than this you must not believe. I am by no means assured of his regard for me. There are moments when the extent of it seems doubtful; and till his sentiments are fully known, you cannot wonder at my wishing to avoid any encouragement of my own partiality, by believing or calling it more than it is. In my heart I feel little—scarcely any doubt of his preference. But there are other points to be considered besides his inclination. He is very far from being independent. What his mother really is we cannot know; but, from Fanny's occasional mention of her conduct and opinions, we have never been disposed to think her amiable; and I am very much mistaken if Edward is not himself aware that there would be many difficulties in his way, if he were to wish to marry a woman who had not either a great fortune or high rank."
Elinor couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry," she said; "and I want to assure you that I meant no offense by talking so calmly about my own feelings. Believe that they are stronger than I've expressed; believe that they are, in essence, in line with his worth and the uncertainty—the hope—of his feelings for me, without being reckless or foolish. But you shouldn't believe anything beyond that. I'm definitely not sure about his feelings for me. There are times when I question the extent of them; and until I fully understand his thoughts, you can’t be surprised that I want to avoid encouraging my own feelings by thinking or saying it's more than it really is. In my heart, I feel hardly—if at all—any doubt about his preference. But there are other factors to consider besides his feelings. He is far from being independent. We really can’t know what his mother is like; but from what Fanny occasionally mentions about her behavior and opinions, we've never thought of her as particularly nice; and I would be very surprised if Edward isn’t aware that there would be many challenges if he wanted to marry a woman who didn’t have either a significant fortune or high status."
Marianne was astonished to find how much the imagination of her mother and herself had outstripped the truth.
Marianne was amazed to realize how much her and her mother's imagination had surpassed reality.
"And you really are not engaged to him!" said she. "Yet it certainly soon will happen. But two advantages will proceed from this delay. I shall not lose you so soon, and Edward will have greater opportunity of improving that natural taste for your favourite pursuit which must be so indispensably necessary to your future felicity. Oh! if he should be so far stimulated by your genius as to learn to draw himself, how delightful it would be!"
"And you really aren't engaged to him!" she said. "But it definitely will happen soon. However, this delay brings two advantages. I won’t lose you so quickly, and Edward will have more time to develop his natural talent for your favorite hobby, which is so essential for your future happiness. Oh! If he gets inspired by your talent enough to learn how to draw himself, how wonderful would that be!"
Elinor had given her real opinion to her sister. She could not consider her partiality for Edward in so prosperous a state as Marianne had believed it. There was, at times, a want of spirits about him which, if it did not denote indifference, spoke of something almost as unpromising. A doubt of her regard, supposing him to feel it, need not give him more than inquietude. It would not be likely to produce that dejection of mind which frequently attended him. A more reasonable cause[19] might be found in the dependent situation which forbade the indulgence of his affection. She knew that his mother neither behaved to him so as to make his home comfortable at present, nor to give him any assurance that he might form a home for himself, without strictly attending to her views for his aggrandizement. With such a knowledge as this, it was impossible for Elinor to feel easy on the subject. She was far from depending on that result of his preference of her, which her mother and sister still considered as certain. Nay, the longer they were together the more doubtful seemed the nature of his regard; and sometimes, for a few painful minutes, she believed it to be no more than friendship.
Elinor had shared her true feelings with her sister. She couldn’t view her affection for Edward as positively as Marianne thought. Sometimes, he seemed downcast, which, if it didn't show indifference, hinted at something equally unpromising. A doubt about her feelings, if he felt it at all, would likely only cause him some unease, but not the deep sadness that often affected him. A more reasonable explanation for his mood could be found in his dependent situation, which prevented him from fully expressing his love. She knew his mother didn’t treat him in a way that made his home life comfortable, nor did she give him any indication that he could create a home for himself without strictly following her plans for his advancement. With this knowledge, Elinor couldn't feel relaxed about the situation. She was far from relying on the outcome of his affection for her, which her mother and sister still viewed as certain. In fact, the longer they spent together, the more uncertain the nature of his feelings became; at times, during a few painful moments, she believed it was nothing more than friendship.
But, whatever might really be its limits, it was enough, when perceived by his sister, to make her uneasy, and at the same time, (which was still more common,) to make her uncivil. She took the first opportunity of affronting her mother-in-law on the occasion, talking to her so expressively of her brother's great expectations, of Mrs. Ferrars's resolution that both her sons should marry well, and of the danger attending any young woman who attempted to draw him in, that Mrs. Dashwood could neither pretend to be unconscious, nor endeavor to be calm. She gave her an answer which marked her contempt, and instantly left the room, resolving that, whatever might be the inconvenience or expense of so sudden a removal, her beloved Elinor should not be exposed another week to such insinuations.
But, no matter what the actual limits were, just realizing this made his sister uneasy, and even more often, it made her rude. She took the first chance to insult her mother-in-law, speaking very pointedly about her brother's high hopes, Mrs. Ferrars's determination that both her sons should make good marriages, and the risks for any young woman who tried to draw him in. This left Mrs. Dashwood unable to pretend she didn’t hear or to stay calm. She responded in a way that showed her disdain and immediately left the room, deciding that, no matter the inconvenience or cost of a sudden move, her dear Elinor should not be subjected to such suggestions for another week.
In this state of her spirits, a letter was delivered to her from the post, which contained a proposal particularly well timed. It was the offer of a small house, on very easy terms, belonging to a relation of her own, a gentleman of consequence and property in Devonshire. The letter was from this gentleman himself, and written in the true spirit of friendly accommodation. He understood that she was in need of a dwelling; and though the house he now offered her was merely a cottage, he assured her that everything should be done to it which she might think necessary, if the situation pleased her. He earnestly pressed her, after giving the particulars of the house and garden, to come with her daughters to Barton Park, the place of his own residence, from whence she might judge, herself, whether Barton Cottage, for the houses were in the same parish, could, by any alteration, be made comfortable to her. He[20] seemed really anxious to accommodate them and the whole of his letter was written in so friendly a style as could not fail of giving pleasure to his cousin; more especially at a moment when she was suffering under the cold and unfeeling behaviour of her nearer connections. She needed no time for deliberation or inquiry. Her resolution was formed as she read. The situation of Barton, in a county so far distant from Sussex as Devonshire, which, but a few hours before, would have been a sufficient objection to outweigh every possible advantage belonging to the place, was now its first recommendation. To quit the neighbourhood of Norland was no longer an evil; it was an object of desire; it was a blessing, in comparison of the misery of continuing her daughter-in-law's guest; and to remove for ever from that beloved place would be less painful than to inhabit or visit it while such a woman was its mistress. She instantly wrote Sir John Middleton her acknowledgment of his kindness, and her acceptance of his proposal; and then hastened to show both letters to her daughters, that she might be secure of their approbation before her answer were sent.
In her current emotional state, a letter arrived for her from the post that contained a proposal that couldn’t have come at a better time. It was an offer for a small house, on very easy terms, belonging to a relative of hers, a well-to-do gentleman from Devonshire. The letter was from him, written in a genuinely friendly manner. He knew she needed a place to live, and even though the house he was offering was just a cottage, he assured her that any changes she thought necessary would be made, if she liked the location. He urged her, after providing details about the house and garden, to come with her daughters to Barton Park, where he lived, so she could decide for herself if Barton Cottage, since both houses were in the same parish, could be made comfortable for her with any alterations. He genuinely seemed eager to help them, and the entire tone of his letter was so warm that it was sure to please his cousin, especially at a time when she felt the cold and uncaring attitude of her closer relations. She didn't need any time to think or ask questions. Her decision was made as she read. The idea of moving to Barton, in a county as far from Sussex as Devonshire, which just hours earlier would have seemed like a major drawback, suddenly became its best feature. Leaving the Norland area was no longer a negative; it was now something she desired; it felt like a blessing compared to the unhappiness of continuing to be a guest of her daughter-in-law, and leaving that cherished place forever felt less painful than living in or visiting it while such a woman was in charge. She quickly wrote to Sir John Middleton to thank him for his kindness and accept his offer, then rushed to show both letters to her daughters to ensure they approved before she sent her response.
Elinor had always thought it would be more prudent for them to settle at some distance from Norland, than immediately amongst their present acquaintance. On that head, therefore, it was not for her to oppose her mother's intention of removing into Devonshire. The house, too, as described by Sir John, was on so simple a scale, and the rent so uncommonly moderate, as to leave her no right of objection on either point; and, therefore, though it was not a plan which brought any charm to her fancy, though it was a removal from the vicinity of Norland beyond her wishes, she made no attempt to dissuade her mother from sending a letter of acquiescence.
Elinor had always believed it would be wiser for them to move further away from Norland rather than stay close to their current acquaintances. So, she didn’t feel it was her place to oppose her mother’s decision to relocate to Devonshire. The house, as described by Sir John, was quite modest and the rent was unusually low, which gave her no grounds to object on either count. So, even though the plan didn’t excite her and moving away from Norland was not what she wanted, she didn’t try to talk her mother out of sending a letter agreeing to the move.
CHAPTER V
No sooner was her answer dispatched, than Mrs. Dashwood indulged herself in the pleasure of announcing to her son-in-law and his wife that she was provided with a house, and should incommode them no longer than till every thing were[21] ready for her inhabiting it. They heard her with surprise. Mrs. John Dashwood said nothing; but her husband civilly hoped that she would not be settled far from Norland. She had great satisfaction in replying that she was going into Devonshire. Edward turned hastily towards her, on hearing this, and, in a voice of surprise and concern, which required no explanation to her, repeated, "Devonshire! Are you, indeed, going there? So far from hence! And to what part of it?" She explained the situation. It was within four miles northward of Exeter.
No sooner had she sent her reply than Mrs. Dashwood took pleasure in telling her son-in-law and his wife that she had found a house and wouldn’t be a burden to them for long, just until everything was[21] ready for her to move in. They listened in surprise. Mrs. John Dashwood didn't say anything; but her husband politely hoped she wouldn’t be moving too far from Norland. She felt great satisfaction in saying that she was going to Devonshire. Edward quickly turned to her, and with a voice filled with surprise and concern that needed no explanation, repeated, "Devonshire! Are you really going there? That’s so far away! And which part?" She explained the location. It was about four miles north of Exeter.
"It is but a cottage," she continued, "but I hope to see many of my friends in it. A room or two can easily be added; and if my friends find no difficulty in travelling so far to see me, I am sure I will find none in accommodating them."
"It's just a cottage," she went on, "but I hope to have many of my friends visit. It's easy to add a room or two; and if my friends can travel this far to see me, I'm sure I can find a way to accommodate them."
She concluded with a very kind invitation to Mr. and Mrs. John Dashwood to visit her at Barton; and to Edward she gave one with still greater affection. Though her late conversation with her daughter-in-law had made her resolve on remaining at Norland no longer than was unavoidable, it had not produced the smallest effect on her in that point to which it principally tended. To separate Edward and Elinor was as far from being her object as ever; and she wished to show Mrs. John Dashwood, by this pointed invitation to her brother, how totally she disregarded her disapprobation of the match.
She ended with a really nice invitation for Mr. and Mrs. John Dashwood to come visit her at Barton; and to Edward, she extended an invitation with even more warmth. Even though her recent chat with her daughter-in-law had made her decide to stay at Norland only as long as necessary, it hadn’t changed her main intention at all. Keeping Edward and Elinor apart was still not her goal, and she wanted to show Mrs. John Dashwood, with this direct invitation to her brother, how completely she ignored her disapproval of the relationship.
Mr. John Dashwood told his mother again and again how exceedingly sorry he was that she had taken a house at such a distance from Norland as to prevent his being of any service to her in removing her furniture. He really felt conscientiously vexed on the occasion; for the very exertion to which he had limited the performance of his promise to his father was by this arrangement rendered impracticable. The furniture was all sent around by water. It chiefly consisted of household linen, plate, china, and books, with a handsome pianoforte of Marianne's. Mrs. John Dashwood saw the packages depart with a sigh: she could not help feeling it hard that as Mrs. Dashwood's income would be so trifling in comparison with their own, she should have any handsome article of furniture.
Mr. John Dashwood kept telling his mother how incredibly sorry he was that she had rented a house so far from Norland, making it impossible for him to help her with moving her furniture. He felt genuinely troubled about it; the very promise he had made to his father was made impossible by this decision. The furniture was all shipped by boat. It mostly included household linens, silverware, china, and books, along with a beautiful piano belonging to Marianne. Mrs. John Dashwood watched the packages leave with a sigh; she couldn't help but feel it was unfair that, since Mrs. Dashwood's income would be so small compared to theirs, she had any nice furniture at all.
Mrs. Dashwood took the house for a twelvemonth; it was ready furnished, and she might have immediate possession. No difficulty arose on either side in the agreement; and she waited only for the disposal of her effects at Norland, and to[22] determine her future household, before she set off for the west; and this, as she was exceedingly rapid in the performance of everything that interested her, was soon done. The horses which were left her by her husband had been sold soon after his death, and an opportunity now offering of disposing of her carriage, she agreed to sell that likewise at the earnest advice of her eldest daughter. For the comfort of her children, had she consulted only her own wishes, she would have kept it; but the discretion of Elinor prevailed. Her wisdom too limited the number of their servants to three; two maids and a man, with whom they were speedily provided from amongst those who had formed their establishment at Norland.
Mrs. Dashwood rented the house for a year; it was fully furnished, and she could move in right away. There were no issues with the agreement, and she just needed to sort out her belongings at Norland and to[22] figure out her future household before heading west. Since she was very quick about everything that interested her, this was done in no time. The horses left to her by her husband had been sold shortly after his death, and now that she had the chance to sell her carriage, she decided to go ahead with it, following the strong advice of her oldest daughter. For the sake of her children, if she had only considered her own wishes, she would have kept it; but Elinor's practicality won out. Her judgment also limited the number of their servants to three: two maids and a man, whom they quickly hired from those who had worked at Norland.
The man and one of the maids were sent off immediately into Devonshire, to prepare the house for their mistress's arrival; for as Lady Middleton was entirely unknown to Mrs. Dashwood, she preferred going directly to the cottage to being a visitor at Barton Park; and she relied so undoubtingly on Sir John's description of the house, as to feel no curiosity to examine it herself till she entered it as her own. Her eagerness to be gone from Norland was preserved from diminution by the evident satisfaction of her daughter-in-law in the prospect of her removal; a satisfaction which was but feebly attempted to be concealed under a cold invitation to her to defer her departure. Now was the time when her son-in-law's promise to his father might with particular propriety be fulfilled. Since he had neglected to do it on first coming to the estate, their quitting his house might be looked on as the most suitable period for its accomplishment. But Mrs. Dashwood began shortly to give over every hope of the kind, and to be convinced, from the general drift of his discourse, that his assistance extended no farther than their maintenance for six months at Norland. He so frequently talked of the increasing expenses of housekeeping, and of the perpetual demands upon his purse, which a man of any consequence in the world was beyond calculation exposed to, that he seemed rather to stand in need of more money himself than to have any design of giving money away.
The man and one of the maids were sent off right away to Devonshire to get the house ready for their mistress's arrival. Since Lady Middleton was completely unknown to Mrs. Dashwood, she preferred going straight to the cottage instead of being a guest at Barton Park. She trusted Sir John's description of the house so much that she felt no need to check it out herself until she entered as its owner. Her eagerness to leave Norland remained strong because of her daughter-in-law's clear happiness about the move; a happiness that was only weakly hidden under a formal invitation for her to delay her departure. Now was the perfect time for her son-in-law to fulfill his promise to his father. Given that he had neglected to do it when he first came to the estate, their leaving his house seemed like the best opportunity. However, Mrs. Dashwood soon started to lose all hope of that happening and became convinced, based on the general tone of his conversations, that his support only extended to covering their expenses for six months at Norland. He often mentioned the rising costs of running a household and the constant financial pressures a man of importance faces, which made it seem like he needed more money himself rather than planning to give any away.
In a very few weeks from the day which brought Sir John Middleton's first letter to Norland, every thing was so far settled in their future abode as to enable Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters to begin their journey.[23]
In just a few weeks from the day Sir John Middleton's first letter arrived at Norland, everything was arranged enough for Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters to start their journey.[23]
Many were the tears shed by them in their last adieus to a place so much beloved. "Dear, dear Norland!" said Marianne, as she wandered alone before the house, on the last evening of their being there; "when shall I cease to regret you!—when learn to feel a home elsewhere! Oh! happy house, could you know what I suffer in now viewing you from this spot, from whence perhaps I may view you no more! And you, ye well-known trees!—but you will continue the same. No leaf will decay because we are removed, nor any branch become motionless although we can observe you no longer! No; you will continue the same; unconscious of the pleasure or the regret you occasion, and insensible of any change in those who walk under your shade! But who will remain to enjoy you?"
They shed so many tears while saying goodbye to a place they loved so much. "Oh, dear Norland!" said Marianne as she wandered alone in front of the house on their last evening there; "when will I stop regretting you!—when will I learn to feel at home somewhere else! Oh, happy house, if only you knew how much I suffer looking at you from this spot, from where I might never see you again! And you, familiar trees!—but you'll stay the same. No leaf will fall just because we are gone, nor will any branch stand still even if we can’t see you anymore! No; you will remain unchanged, unaware of the joy or sadness you bring, and oblivious to any change in those who walk beneath your shade! But who will be left to enjoy you?"
CHAPTER VI
The first part of their journey was performed in too melancholy a disposition to be otherwise than tedious and unpleasant. But as they drew towards the end of it, their interest in the appearance of a country which they were to inhabit overcame their dejection, and a view of Barton Valley as they entered it gave them cheerfulness. It was a pleasant fertile spot, well wooded, and rich in pasture. After winding along it for more than a mile, they reached their own house. A small green court was the whole of its demesne in front; and a neat wicket gate admitted them into it.
The first part of their journey was marked by such a heavy mood that it was nothing but tedious and unpleasant. However, as they approached the end, their curiosity about the new country they were going to live in lifted their spirits, and seeing Barton Valley as they entered it made them feel cheerful. It was a lovely, fertile area, well-wooded and full of pasture. After winding through it for over a mile, they finally reached their house. A small green courtyard was all that fronted their property, and a tidy little gate welcomed them inside.
As a house, Barton Cottage, though small, was comfortable and compact; but as a cottage it was defective, for the building was regular, the roof was tiled, the window shutters were not painted green, nor were the walls covered with honeysuckles. A narrow passage led directly through the house into the garden behind. On each side of the entrance was a sitting room, about sixteen feet square; and beyond them were the offices and the stairs. Four bedrooms and two garrets formed the rest of the house. It had not been built many years and was in good repair. In comparison of Norland, it was poor and small indeed!—but the tears which recollection[24] called forth as they entered the house were soon dried away. They were cheered by the joy of the servants on their arrival, and each for the sake of the others resolved to appear happy. It was very early in September; the season was fine, and from first seeing the place under the advantage of good weather, they received an impression in its favour which was of material service in recommending it to their lasting approbation.
As a house, Barton Cottage was small but cozy and well-designed; however, as a cottage, it had its shortcomings, since the structure was too uniform, the roof was tiled, the window shutters weren’t painted green, and the walls weren’t covered in honeysuckles. A narrow hallway ran straight through the house to the garden at the back. On either side of the entrance was a living room, about sixteen feet square; beyond those were the utility rooms and the stairs. Four bedrooms and two attic spaces completed the house. It hadn’t been built many years ago and was in good condition. Compared to Norland, it was definitely modest and small!—but the tears that memories[24] brought forth when they entered the house were quickly wiped away. They were uplifted by the happiness of the staff upon their arrival, and each of them decided to act cheerful for the sake of the others. It was very early in September; the weather was pleasant, and seeing the place in good weather gave them a positive impression that would help them appreciate it even more.
The situation of the house was good. High hills rose immediately behind, and at no great distance on each side; some of which were open downs, the others cultivated and woody. The village of Barton was chiefly on one of these hills, and formed a pleasant view from the cottage windows. The prospect in front was more extensive; it commanded the whole of the valley, and reached into the country beyond. The hills which surrounded the cottage terminated the valley in that direction; under another name, and in another course, it branched out again between two of the steepest of them.
The location of the house was great. High hills rose right behind it, and at a short distance on either side; some were open fields, while others were cultivated and wooded. The village of Barton was mainly situated on one of these hills, offering a lovely view from the cottage windows. The view in front was even broader; it overlooked the entire valley and extended into the countryside beyond. The hills surrounding the cottage marked the end of the valley in that direction; under a different name and along another path, it branched out again between two of the steepest hills.
With the size and furniture of the house Mrs. Dashwood was upon the whole well satisfied; for though her former style of life rendered many additions to the latter indispensable, yet to add and improve was a delight to her; and she had at this time ready money enough to supply all that was wanted of greater elegance to the apartments. "As for the house itself, to be sure," said she, "it is too small for our family, but we will make ourselves tolerably comfortable for the present, as it is too late in the year for improvements. Perhaps in the spring, if I have plenty of money, as I dare say I shall, we may think about building. These parlors are both too small for such parties of our friends as I hope to see often collected here; and I have some thoughts of throwing the passage into one of them with perhaps a part of the other, and so leave the remainder of that other for an entrance; this, with a new drawing room which may be easily added, and a bed-chamber and garret above, will make it a very snug little cottage. I could wish the stairs were handsome. But one must not expect every thing; though I suppose it would be no difficult matter to widen them. I shall see how much I am before-hand with the world in the spring, and we will plan our improvements accordingly."
Mrs. Dashwood was generally happy with the size and furniture of the house. Even though her previous lifestyle required many additions to make it suitable, she delighted in adding and improving things. At that moment, she had enough cash to make the rooms more elegant. "As for the house itself," she said, "it is definitely too small for our family, but we'll make ourselves pretty comfortable for now since it's too late in the year for any improvements. Maybe in the spring, if I have enough money, which I probably will, we can think about building. These living rooms are both too small for the gatherings of friends that I hope to have here often. I'm considering combining the passage with one of them and maybe part of the other, leaving the rest of that room for an entrance. With a new drawing room that can be easily added, plus a bedroom and an attic upstairs, it will create a cozy little cottage. I just wish the stairs were nicer. But you can't expect everything; though I suppose widening them wouldn't be too difficult. I'll see how well I'm doing in the spring, and we can plan our improvements from there."
In the mean time, till all these alterations could be made from the savings of an income of five hundred a-year by a[25] woman who never saved in her life, they were wise enough to be contented with the house as it was; and each of them was busy in arranging their particular concerns, and endeavoring, by placing around them books and other possessions, to form themselves a home. Marianne's pianoforte was unpacked and properly disposed of; and Elinor's drawings were affixed to the walls of their sitting room.
In the meantime, until all these changes could be made from the savings of an income of five hundred a year by a[25] woman who had never saved money in her life, they were smart enough to be content with the house as it was. Each of them kept busy arranging their personal things and trying to create a home by putting books and other belongings around them. Marianne's piano was unpacked and set up properly, and Elinor's drawings were hung on the walls of their living room.
In such employments as these they were interrupted soon after breakfast the next day by the entrance of their landlord, who called to welcome them to Barton, and to offer them every accommodation from his own house and garden in which theirs might at present be deficient. Sir John Middleton was a good looking man about forty. He had formerly visited at Stanhill, but it was too long for his young cousins to remember him. His countenance was thoroughly good-humoured; and his manners were as friendly as the style of his letter. Their arrival seemed to afford him real satisfaction, and their comfort to be an object of real solicitude to him. He said much of his earnest desire of their living in the most sociable terms with his family, and pressed them so cordially to dine at Barton Park every day till they were better settled at home, that, though his entreaties were carried to a point of perseverance beyond civility, they could not give offence. His kindness was not confined to words; for within an hour after he left them, a large basket full of garden stuff and fruit arrived from the park, which was followed before the end of the day by a present of game. He insisted, moreover, on conveying all their letters to and from the post for them, and would not be denied the satisfaction of sending them his newspaper every day.
The next day, shortly after breakfast, they were interrupted by their landlord, who came to welcome them to Barton and offered them anything they might need from his house and garden. Sir John Middleton was a good-looking man in his forties. He had visited Stanhill before, but it was too long ago for his young cousins to remember him. He had a completely good-humored face, and his manners were as friendly as his letter. Their arrival genuinely pleased him, and he seemed truly concerned about their comfort. He talked a lot about his wish for them to live in a friendly way with his family and urged them so warmly to come for dinner at Barton Park every day until they were more settled at home that, even though his requests went beyond what was polite, they didn’t mind. His kindness didn't stop at words; within an hour after he left, a large basket of fresh produce and fruit arrived from the park, followed later in the day by a gift of game. He also insisted on taking care of all their letters to and from the post, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer when it came to sending them his newspaper every day.
Lady Middleton had sent a very civil message by him, denoting her intention of waiting on Mrs. Dashwood as soon as she could be assured that her visit would be no inconvenience; and as this message was answered by an invitation equally polite, her ladyship was introduced to them the next day.
Lady Middleton had sent a very polite message through him, expressing her intention to visit Mrs. Dashwood as soon as she knew it would be a good time; and since this message was met with an equally polite invitation, her ladyship was introduced to them the following day.
They were, of course, very anxious to see a person on whom so much of their comfort at Barton must depend; and the elegance of her appearance was favourable to their wishes. Lady Middleton was not more than six or seven and twenty; her face was handsome, her figure tall and striking, and her [27]address graceful. Her manners had all the elegance which her husband's wanted. But they would have been improved by some share of his frankness and warmth; and her visit was long enough to detract something from their first admiration, by showing that, though perfectly well-bred, she was reserved, cold, and had nothing to say for herself beyond the most common-place inquiry or remark.
They were definitely eager to meet someone on whom so much of their comfort at Barton depended, and the elegance of her appearance matched their hopes. Lady Middleton was no more than twenty-six or twenty-seven; her face was attractive, her figure tall and striking, and her [27] demeanor was graceful. Her manners had all the sophistication that her husband lacked. However, it would have been nice if she had a bit of his openness and warmth; her visit lasted long enough to lessen their initial admiration, revealing that, although she was perfectly polite, she was reserved and aloof, and she had nothing to contribute beyond the most ordinary questions or comments.
Conversation however was not wanted, for Sir John was very chatty, and Lady Middleton had taken the wise precaution of bringing with her their eldest child, a fine little boy about six years old, by which means there was one subject always to be recurred to by the ladies in case of extremity, for they had to enquire his name and age, admire his beauty, and ask him questions which his mother answered for him, while he hung about her and held down his head, to the great surprise of her ladyship, who wondered at his being so shy before company, as he could make noise enough at home. On every formal visit a child ought to be of the party, by way of provision for discourse. In the present case it took up ten minutes to determine whether the boy were most like his father or mother, and in what particular he resembled either, for of course every body differed, and every body was astonished at the opinion of the others.
Conversation, however, was not needed, because Sir John was quite talkative, and Lady Middleton had wisely brought along their oldest child, a lovely little boy about six years old. This ensured that there was always a topic for the ladies to turn to in case of awkward moments, as they could ask about his name and age, admire his looks, and pose questions that his mother would answer for him, while he lingered by her side, his head down. This behavior surprised her ladyship, who couldn't understand why he was so shy around guests when he could be quite noisy at home. Having a child present during formal visits is a good way to spark conversation. In this situation, it took ten minutes to decide whether the boy looked more like his father or mother and exactly how he resembled either of them, since, of course, everyone had different opinions, and everyone was amazed by what others thought.
An opportunity was soon to be given to the Dashwoods of debating on the rest of the children, as Sir John would not leave the house without securing their promise of dining at the park the next day.
An opportunity was soon provided for the Dashwoods to discuss the other children, as Sir John wouldn’t leave the house without getting their promise to have dinner at the park the next day.
CHAPTER VII
Barton Park was about half a mile from the cottage. The ladies had passed near it in their way along the valley, but it was screened from their view at home by the projection of a hill. The house was large and handsome; and the Middletons lived in a style of equal hospitality and elegance. The former was for Sir John's gratification, the latter for that of his lady. They were scarcely ever without some friends staying with them in the house, and they kept more company of every kind than any other family in the neighbourhood. It was necessary[28] to the happiness of both; for however dissimilar in temper and outward behaviour, they strongly resembled each other in that total want of talent and taste which confined their employments, unconnected with such as society produced, within a very narrow compass. Sir John was a sportsman, Lady Middleton a mother. He hunted and shot, and she humoured her children; and these were their only resources. Lady Middleton had the advantage of being able to spoil her children all the year round, while Sir John's independent employments were in existence only half the time. Continual engagements at home and abroad, however, supplied all the deficiencies of nature and education; supported the good spirits of Sir John, and gave exercise to the good breeding of his wife.
Barton Park was about half a mile from the cottage. The women had passed by it while walking through the valley, but it was blocked from their view at home by a hill. The house was large and attractive; the Middletons lived with a mix of warm hospitality and elegance. The former catered to Sir John's enjoyment, while the latter was meant to please his wife. They hardly ever had a time without friends staying in their home, and they socialized more than any other family in the area. This was essential for both of their happiness; even though they were different in personality and behavior, they were quite similar in their complete lack of skill and taste, which limited their activities to those provided by society within a very narrow scope. Sir John was into sports, and Lady Middleton was a mother. He hunted and shot while she indulged her children; those were their only interests. Lady Middleton could spoil her children all year long, while Sir John's independent activities only took place half the time. However, their constant social engagements at home and out filled in the gaps left by their lack of natural abilities and education; they kept Sir John's spirits up and stimulated Lady Middleton's social skills.
Lady Middleton piqued herself upon the elegance of her table, and of all her domestic arrangements; and from this kind of vanity was her greatest enjoyment in any of their parties. But Sir John's satisfaction in society was much more real; he delighted in collecting about him more young people than his house would hold, and the noisier they were the better was he pleased. He was a blessing to all the juvenile part of the neighbourhood, for in summer he was for ever forming parties to eat cold ham and chicken out of doors, and in winter his private balls were numerous enough for any young lady who was not suffering under the insatiable appetite of fifteen.
Lady Middleton took great pride in the elegance of her table and all her household arrangements, and her greatest enjoyment at any of their gatherings came from this kind of vanity. In contrast, Sir John's satisfaction in socializing was much more genuine; he loved gathering more young people than his house could accommodate, and the noisier they were, the happier he became. He was a blessing to all the young people in the neighborhood, as in the summer he was always organizing parties to enjoy cold ham and chicken outdoors, and in winter, his private balls were numerous enough for any young lady who wasn’t struggling with the insatiable cravings of being fifteen.
The arrival of a new family in the country was always a matter of joy to him, and in every point of view he was charmed with the inhabitants he had now procured for his cottage at Barton. The Miss Dashwoods were young, pretty, and unaffected. It was enough to secure his good opinion; for to be unaffected was all that a pretty girl could want to make her mind as captivating as her person. The friendliness of his disposition made him happy in accommodating those, whose situation might be considered, in comparison with the past, as unfortunate. In showing kindness to his cousins therefore he had the real satisfaction of a good heart; and in settling a family of females only in his cottage, he had all the satisfaction of a sportsman; for a sportsman, though he esteems only those of his sex who are sportsmen likewise, is not often desirous of encouraging their taste by admitting them to a residence within his own manor.
The arrival of a new family in the countryside always brought him joy, and he was genuinely pleased with the residents he had welcomed to his cottage at Barton. The Miss Dashwoods were young, attractive, and unpretentious. That alone was enough to win his approval; being genuine was all a pretty girl needed to make her mind as appealing as her looks. His friendly nature made him happy to help those whose circumstances might seem unfortunate compared to the past. By extending kindness to his cousins, he felt the true satisfaction of being a good person; and by settling a household of women in his cottage, he enjoyed the satisfaction of a sportsman. A sportsman, while he only values fellow sportsmen, rarely feels inclined to encourage their interests by inviting them to live on his property.
Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters were met at the door of[29] the house by Sir John, who welcomed them to Barton Park with unaffected sincerity; and as he attended them to the drawing room repeated to the young ladies the concern which the same subject had drawn from him the day before, at being unable to get any smart young men to meet them. They would see, he said, only one gentleman there besides himself; a particular friend who was staying at the park, but who was neither very young nor very gay. He hoped they would all excuse the smallness of the party, and could assure them it should never happen so again. He had been to several families that morning in hopes of procuring some addition to their number, but it was moonlight and every body was full of engagements. Luckily Lady Middleton's mother had arrived at Barton within the last hour, and as she was a very cheerful agreeable woman, he hoped the young ladies would not find it so very dull as they might imagine. The young ladies, as well as their mother, were perfectly satisfied with having two entire strangers of the party, and wished for no more.
Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters were greeted at the door of[29] the house by Sir John, who welcomed them to Barton Park with genuine warmth. As he led them to the drawing room, he expressed to the young ladies the same concern he had shared with them the previous day about not being able to find any fun young men to meet them. He mentioned that there would be only one other gentleman present beside himself—a close friend staying at the park, but he was neither particularly young nor lively. He hoped they wouldn’t mind the small gathering and assured them it wouldn’t happen again. He had visited several families that morning in hopes of adding to their numbers, but it was a moonlit night, and everyone was busy with plans. Fortunately, Lady Middleton's mother had just arrived at Barton, and since she was a very cheerful and pleasant woman, he hoped the young ladies wouldn’t find the evening too boring. The young ladies, along with their mother, were completely fine with having two complete strangers at the gathering and wanted no more.
Mrs. Jennings, Lady Middleton's mother, was a good-humoured, merry, fat, elderly woman, who talked a great deal, seemed very happy, and rather vulgar. She was full of jokes and laughter, and before dinner was over had said many witty things on the subject of lovers and husbands; hoped they had not left their hearts behind them in Sussex, and pretended to see them blush whether they did or not. Marianne was vexed at it for her sister's sake, and turned her eyes towards Elinor to see how she bore these attacks, with an earnestness which gave Elinor far more pain than could arise from such common-place raillery as Mrs. Jennings's.
Mrs. Jennings, Lady Middleton's mother, was a cheerful, plump, elderly woman who talked a lot, seemed very happy, and was a bit tacky. She was full of jokes and laughter, and before dinner was over, she had made many witty comments about lovers and husbands, hoping they hadn’t left their hearts behind in Sussex, and pretended to see them blush whether they actually did or not. Marianne was annoyed by it for her sister's sake and turned her eyes to Elinor to see how she was handling these jabs, with a seriousness that caused Elinor more discomfort than any ordinary teasing from Mrs. Jennings could.
Colonel Brandon, the friend of Sir John, seemed no more adapted by resemblance of manner to be his friend, than Lady Middleton was to be his wife, or Mrs. Jennings to be Lady Middleton's mother. He was silent and grave. His appearance however was not unpleasing, in spite of his being in the opinion of Marianne and Margaret an absolute old bachelor, for he was on the wrong side of five and thirty; but though his face was not handsome, his countenance was sensible, and his address was particularly gentlemanlike.
Colonel Brandon, a friend of Sir John, didn't really seem like he could be his friend, just like Lady Middleton didn't seem like she could be his wife, or Mrs. Jennings like she could be Lady Middleton's mother. He was quiet and serious. However, his appearance was not unappealing, despite Marianne and Margaret considering him a complete old bachelor since he was past thirty-five; although his face wasn't handsome, he had a sensible expression, and his demeanor was particularly refined.
There was nothing in any of the party which could recommend them as companions to the Dashwoods; but the cold insipidity of Lady Middleton was so particularly repulsive,[30] that in comparison of it the gravity of Colonel Brandon, and even the boisterous mirth of Sir John and his mother-in-law was interesting. Lady Middleton seemed to be roused to enjoyment only by the entrance of her four noisy children after dinner, who pulled her about, tore her clothes, and put an end to every kind of discourse except what related to themselves.
There was nothing about any of the guests that made them appealing to the Dashwoods; however, Lady Middleton's icy dullness was so particularly off-putting,[30] that by comparison, Colonel Brandon's seriousness and even the loud laughter of Sir John and his mother-in-law seemed interesting. Lady Middleton appeared to only come to life when her four noisy children barged in after dinner, pulling her around, tearing her clothes, and cutting off any conversation that wasn't about them.
In the evening, as Marianne was discovered to be musical, she was invited to play. The instrument was unlocked, every body prepared to be charmed, and Marianne, who sang very well, at their request went through the chief of the songs which Lady Middleton had brought into the family on her marriage, and which perhaps had lain ever since in the same position on the pianoforte, for her ladyship had celebrated that event by giving up music, although by her mother's account, she had played extremely well, and by her own was very fond of it.
In the evening, when everyone found out that Marianne was musical, she was invited to play. The instrument was ready, everyone was eager to be entertained, and Marianne, who sang well, agreed to perform some of the main songs that Lady Middleton had brought into the family when she got married. Those songs had probably stayed in the same spot on the piano ever since because Lady Middleton had stopped playing music to celebrate her marriage. According to her mother, she had played extremely well and, by her own admission, really enjoyed it.
Marianne's performance was highly applauded. Sir John was loud in his admiration at the end of every song, and as loud in his conversation with the others while every song lasted. Lady Middleton frequently called him to order, wondered how any one's attention could be diverted from music for a moment, and asked Marianne to sing a particular song which Marianne had just finished. Colonel Brandon alone, of all the party, heard her without being in raptures. He paid her only the compliment of attention; and she felt a respect for him on the occasion, which the others had reasonably forfeited by their shameless want of taste. His pleasure in music, though it amounted not to that ecstatic delight which alone could sympathize with her own, was estimable when contrasted against the horrible insensibility of the others; and she was reasonable enough to allow that a man of five and thirty might well have outlived all acuteness of feeling and every exquisite power of enjoyment. She was perfectly disposed to make every allowance for the colonel's advanced state of life which humanity required.
Marianne's performance received a lot of applause. Sir John was very vocal in his admiration at the end of each song and was just as loud chatting with others during the performances. Lady Middleton often tried to rein him in, wondered how anyone could be distracted from the music for even a moment, and asked Marianne to sing a particular song that she had just finished. Colonel Brandon, unlike everyone else, listened to her without being overly enthusiastic. He only gave her the compliment of his attention, and in that moment, she felt a respect for him that the others had lost due to their blatant lack of taste. Although his enjoyment of music didn’t match the ecstatic delight that she experienced, it was commendable compared to the appalling insensitivity of the others; and she was reasonable enough to understand that a man of thirty-five might have outgrown all sharp feelings and the ability to fully enjoy music. She was more than willing to consider every aspect of the colonel's life experience that humanity would require.
CHAPTER VIII
Mrs. Jennings was a widow with an ample jointure. She had only two daughters, both of whom she had lived to see respectably married, and she had now therefore nothing to do but to marry all the rest of the world. In the promotion of this object she was zealously active, as far as her ability reached; and missed no opportunity of projecting weddings among all the young people of her acquaintance. She was remarkably quick in the discovery of attachments, and had enjoyed the advantage of raising the blushes and the vanity of many a young lady by insinuations of her power over such a young man; and this kind of discernment enabled her soon after her arrival at Barton decisively to pronounce that Colonel Brandon was very much in love with Marianne Dashwood. She rather suspected it to be so, on the very first evening of their being together, from his listening so attentively while she sang to them; and when the visit was returned by the Middletons' dining at the cottage, the fact was ascertained by his listening to her again. It must be so. She was perfectly convinced of it. It would be an excellent match, for he was rich, and she was handsome. Mrs. Jennings had been anxious to see Colonel Brandon well married, ever since her connection with Sir John first brought him to her knowledge; and she was always anxious to get a good husband for every pretty girl.
Mrs. Jennings was a widow with a decent income. She had two daughters, both of whom she had seen marry well, so now her focus was on matchmaking for everyone else. She was eagerly involved in this mission as much as she could be and never missed a chance to set up weddings among the young people she knew. She had a knack for spotting romantic feelings and often enjoyed boosting the confidence of many young ladies by hinting at her influence over a certain young man; this talent allowed her to quickly assert upon arriving in Barton that Colonel Brandon was very much in love with Marianne Dashwood. She suspected it right from their first evening together, noticing how intently he listened while she sang for them. When the Middletons returned the visit by dining at the cottage, it was confirmed as he listened to her again. It had to be true. She was completely convinced. It would be a great match because he was wealthy and she was beautiful. Mrs. Jennings had been eager to see Colonel Brandon well married ever since her connection with Sir John first introduced him to her, and she was always keen on finding a good husband for every pretty girl.
The immediate advantage to herself was by no means inconsiderable, for it supplied her with endless jokes against them both. At the park she laughed at the colonel, and in the cottage at Marianne. To the former her raillery was probably, as far as it regarded only himself, perfectly indifferent; but to the latter it was at first incomprehensible; and when its object was understood, she hardly knew whether most to laugh at its absurdity, or censure its impertinence, for she considered it as an unfeeling reflection on the colonel's advanced years, and on his forlorn condition as an old bachelor.
The immediate benefit to her was definitely significant because it gave her endless jokes to use against both of them. At the park, she laughed at the colonel, and in the cottage, at Marianne. To the colonel, her teasing was probably, as far as he was concerned, completely inconsequential; but to Marianne, it was initially baffling. Once she understood the joke, she hardly knew whether to laugh at its ridiculousness or criticize its rudeness, as she saw it as a callous jab at the colonel's old age and his lonely status as a bachelor.
Mrs. Dashwood, who could not think a man five years younger than herself, so exceedingly ancient as he appeared to[32] the youthful fancy of her daughter, ventured to clear Mrs. Jennings from the probability of wishing to throw ridicule on his age.
Mrs. Dashwood, who couldn't imagine a man five years younger than herself as anything but extremely old, especially in the eyes of her daughter’s youthful perspective, attempted to defend Mrs. Jennings from the likelihood of wanting to mock his age.[32]
"But at least, Mamma, you cannot deny the absurdity of the accusation, though you may not think it intentionally ill-natured. Colonel Brandon is certainly younger than Mrs. Jennings, but he is old enough to be my father; and if he were ever animated enough to be in love, must have long outlived every sensation of the kind. It is too ridiculous! When is a man to be safe from such wit, if age and infirmity will not protect him?"
"But at least, Mom, you can't deny how ridiculous the accusation is, even if you don't think it was meant to be malicious. Colonel Brandon is definitely younger than Mrs. Jennings, but he's old enough to be my father; and if he ever felt passionate enough to be in love, he must have long since stopped feeling that way. It’s just absurd! When is a man supposed to be safe from such teasing if age and frailty won’t protect him?"
"Infirmity!" said Elinor, "do you call Colonel Brandon infirm? I can easily suppose that his age may appear much greater to you than to my mother; but you can hardly deceive yourself as to his having the use of his limbs!"
"Infirmity!" said Elinor, "do you really call Colonel Brandon infirm? I can totally understand that his age might seem much more advanced to you than to my mom; but you can't possibly convince yourself that he doesn't have the use of his limbs!"
"Did not you hear him complain of the rheumatism? and is not that the commonest infirmity of declining life?"
"Didn't you hear him complain about his arthritis? Isn't that the most common issue that comes with aging?"
"My dearest child," said her mother, laughing, "at this rate you must be in continual terror of my decay; and it must seem to you a miracle that my life has been extended to the advanced age of forty."
"My dearest child," her mother said with a laugh, "at this rate, you must be constantly worried about my aging; it must seem like a miracle to you that I've lived to the impressive age of forty."
"Mamma, you are not doing me justice. I know very well that Colonel Brandon is not old enough to make his friends yet apprehensive of losing him in the course of nature. He may live twenty years longer. But thirty-five has nothing to do with matrimony."
"Mom, you're not being fair to me. I know very well that Colonel Brandon isn't so old that his friends should be worried about losing him anytime soon. He could live another twenty years. But being thirty-five has nothing to do with getting married."
"Perhaps," said Elinor, "thirty-five and seventeen had better not have any thing to do with matrimony together. But if there should by any chance happen to be a woman who is single at seven and twenty, I should not think Colonel Brandon's being thirty-five any objection to his marrying her ."
"Maybe," Elinor said, "thirty-five and seventeen shouldn’t mix when it comes to marriage. But if there happens to be a woman who is single at twenty-seven, I wouldn’t see Colonel Brandon’s thirty-five as a problem for him marrying her."
"A woman of seven and twenty," said Marianne, after pausing a moment, "can never hope to feel or inspire affection again, and if her home be uncomfortable, or her fortune small, I can suppose that she might bring herself to submit to the offices of a nurse, for the sake of the provision and security of a wife. In his marrying such a woman therefore there would be nothing unsuitable. It would be a compact of convenience, and the world would be satisfied. In my eyes it would be no marriage at all, but that would be nothing. To me it would seem only a commercial exchange, in which each wished to be benefited at the expense of the other."[33]
"A 27-year-old woman," Marianne said after thinking for a moment, "can never expect to feel or inspire love again, and if her home is uncomfortable or her finances are tight, I can imagine that she might settle for the role of a caregiver just to have the security of being a wife. So, there would be nothing inappropriate about a man marrying such a woman. It would be a practical arrangement, and society would be okay with it. To me, it wouldn’t be a marriage at all, but that doesn’t really matter. It would just seem like a business deal, where each person is looking to gain something at the other's expense."[33]
"It would be impossible, I know," replied Elinor, "to convince you that a woman of seven and twenty could feel for a man of thirty-five anything near enough to love, to make him a desirable companion to her. But I must object to your dooming Colonel Brandon and his wife to the constant confinement of a sick chamber, merely because he chanced to complain yesterday (a very cold damp day) of a slight rheumatic feel in one of his shoulders."
"It would be impossible, I know," Elinor replied, "to convince you that a woman who's twenty-seven could feel anything like love for a thirty-five-year-old man that would make him a desirable partner for her. But I have to disagree with your idea of sending Colonel Brandon and his wife into the constant isolation of a sick room just because he happened to mention yesterday (on a very cold, damp day) that he felt a slight rheumatic pain in one of his shoulders."
"But he talked of flannel waistcoats," said Marianne; "and with me a flannel waistcoat is invariably connected with aches, cramps, rheumatisms, and every species of ailment that can afflict the old and the feeble."
"But he talked about flannel vests," said Marianne; "and for me, a flannel vest is always associated with aches, cramps, rheumatism, and every kind of ailment that can afflict the elderly and the weak."
"Had he been only in a violent fever, you would not have despised him half so much. Confess, Marianne, is not there something interesting to you in the flushed cheek, hollow eye, and quick pulse of a fever?"
"Had he just been suffering from a high fever, you wouldn't have looked down on him nearly as much. Admit it, Marianne, isn't there something intriguing to you about the flushed cheek, sunken eye, and rapid heartbeat of a fever?"
Soon after this, upon Elinor's leaving the room, "Mamma," said Marianne, "I have an alarm on the subject of illness which I cannot conceal from you. I am sure Edward Ferrars is not well. We have now been here almost a fortnight, and yet he does not come. Nothing but real indisposition could occasion this extraordinary delay. What else can detain him at Norland?"
Soon after Elinor left the room, Marianne said, "Mom, I have a worry about illness that I can't hide from you. I’m sure Edward Ferrars isn't well. We've been here for almost two weeks, and he still hasn’t come. Only genuine illness could cause this unusual delay. What else could possibly keep him at Norland?"
"Had you any idea of his coming so soon?" said Mrs. Dashwood. "I had none. On the contrary, if I have felt any anxiety at all on the subject, it has been in recollecting that he sometimes showed a want of pleasure and readiness in accepting my invitation, when I talked of his coming to Barton. Does Elinor expect him already?"
"Did you know he was coming so soon?" Mrs. Dashwood asked. "I had no idea. In fact, if I felt any worry about it, it was because I remembered that he sometimes seemed reluctant to accept my invitation when I mentioned him coming to Barton. Does Elinor think he's coming already?"
"I have never mentioned it to her, but of course she must."
"I've never brought it up with her, but of course she must know."
"I rather think you are mistaken, for when I was talking to her yesterday of getting a new grate for the spare bed-chamber, she observed that there was no immediate hurry for it, as it was not likely that the room would be wanted for some time."
"I think you're mistaken because when I talked to her yesterday about getting a new grate for the spare bedroom, she mentioned that there was no rush since the room probably wouldn't be needed for a while."
"How strange this is! what can be the meaning of it! But the whole of their behaviour to each other has been unaccountable! How cold, how composed were their last adieus! How languid their conversation the last evening of their being together! In Edward's farewell there was no distinction between Elinor and me: it was the good wishes of an affectionate[34] brother to both. Twice did I leave them purposely together in the course of the last morning, and each time did he most unaccountably follow me out of the room. And Elinor, in quitting Norland and Edward, cried not as I did. Even now her self-command is invariable. When is she dejected or melancholy? When does she try to avoid society, or appear restless and dissatisfied in it?"
"How strange this is! What could it mean? Their behavior towards each other has been completely baffling! How cold and composed were their last goodbyes! How lackluster their conversation on the final evening they spent together! In Edward's farewell, there was no difference made between Elinor and me: it was just the good wishes of a caring brother directed to both of us. Twice, I left them alone on purpose that last morning, and each time he inexplicably followed me out of the room. And Elinor, when leaving Norland and Edward, didn’t cry like I did. Even now, her self-control is unwavering. When is she ever down or sad? When does she try to avoid being sociable or seem restless and unhappy in a group?"
CHAPTER IX
The Dashwoods were now settled at Barton with tolerable comfort to themselves. The house and the garden, with all the objects surrounding them, were now become familiar, and the ordinary pursuits which had given to Norland half its charms were engaged in again with far greater enjoyment than Norland had been able to afford, since the loss of their father. Sir John Middleton, who called on them every day for the first fortnight, and who was not in the habit of seeing much occupation at home, could not conceal his amazement on finding them always employed.
The Dashwoods were now settled at Barton with reasonable comfort. The house and garden, along with everything around them, had become familiar, and the everyday activities that had given Norland half its charm were now being enjoyed even more than before, especially after the loss of their father. Sir John Middleton, who visited them daily for the first two weeks and was used to seeing little activity at home, couldn't hide his surprise at finding them always busy.
Their visitors, except those from Barton Park, were not many; for, in spite of Sir John's urgent entreaties that they would mix more in the neighbourhood, and repeated assurances of his carriage being always at their service, the independence of Mrs. Dashwood's spirit overcame the wish of society for her children; and she was resolute in declining to visit any family beyond the distance of a walk. There were but few who could be so classed; and it was not all of them that were attainable. About a mile and a half from the cottage, along the narrow winding valley of Allenham, which issued from that of Barton, as formerly described, the girls had, in one of their earliest walks, discovered an ancient respectable looking mansion which, by reminding them a little of Norland, interested their imagination and made them wish to be better acquainted with it. But they learnt, on enquiry, that its possessor, an elderly lady of very good character, was unfortunately too infirm to mix with the world, and never stirred from home.
Their visitors, except for those from Barton Park, were few because, despite Sir John's strong requests for them to socialize more in the area and his repeated offers to provide his carriage, Mrs. Dashwood's independent spirit overshadowed the desire for her children to be social. She was determined to only visit families within walking distance. There were only a few who fit this criteria, and not all of them were accessible. About a mile and a half from the cottage, along the narrow, winding valley of Allenham, which branched off from the valley of Barton, the girls discovered an old, respectable-looking mansion during one of their early walks. It reminded them a bit of Norland, sparking their interest and making them wish to know more about it. However, upon inquiring, they found out that the owner, an elderly lady of good reputation, was unfortunately too frail to engage with others and never left her home.
The whole country about them abounded in beautiful walks. The[35] high downs which invited them from almost every window of the cottage to seek the exquisite enjoyment of air on their summits, were a happy alternative when the dirt of the valleys beneath shut up their superior beauties; and towards one of these hills did Marianne and Margaret one memorable morning direct their steps, attracted by the partial sunshine of a showery sky, and unable longer to bear the confinement which the settled rain of the two preceding days had occasioned. The weather was not tempting enough to draw the two others from their pencil and their book, in spite of Marianne's declaration that the day would be lastingly fair, and that every threatening cloud would be drawn off from their hills; and the two girls set off together.
The whole country around them was filled with beautiful walks. The[35] high hills that called to them from nearly every window of the cottage offered a great alternative when the dirt in the valleys below obscured their greater charms. One memorable morning, Marianne and Margaret headed toward one of these hills, drawn by the patches of sunshine peeking through a showery sky and tired of being cooped up after two days of steady rain. The weather wasn't inviting enough to lure the other two outside from their sketching and reading, despite Marianne insisting that the day would turn out to be nice and that any threatening clouds would drift away from their hills. So, the two girls set off together.
They gaily ascended the downs, rejoicing in their own penetration at every glimpse of blue sky; and when they caught in their faces the animating gales of a high south-westerly wind, they pitied the fears which had prevented their mother and Elinor from sharing such delightful sensations.
They happily climbed the hills, enjoying every glimpse of blue sky; and when the energizing breezes of a strong south-west wind hit their faces, they felt sorry for their mother and Elinor for missing out on such joyful experiences.
"Is there a felicity in the world," said Marianne, "superior to this?—Margaret, we will walk here at least two hours."
"Is there any happiness in the world," Marianne said, "that's better than this?—Margaret, let's walk here for at least two hours."
Margaret agreed, and they pursued their way against the wind, resisting it with laughing delight for about twenty minutes longer, when suddenly the clouds united over their heads, and a driving rain set full in their face. Chagrined and surprised, they were obliged, though unwillingly, to turn back, for no shelter was nearer than their own house. One consolation however remained for them, to which the exigence of the moment gave more than usual propriety,—it was that of running with all possible speed down the steep side of the hill which led immediately to their garden gate.
Margaret agreed, and they continued on their way against the wind, enjoying it with laughter for about twenty more minutes, when suddenly the clouds came together over them, and a heavy rain hit them right in the face. Annoyed and surprised, they had no choice but to turn back, though they didn’t really want to, since no shelter was closer than their own house. One consolation remained for them, especially fitting given the circumstances: they could run as fast as possible down the steep hill that led directly to their garden gate.
They set off. Marianne had at first the advantage, but a false step brought her suddenly to the ground; and Margaret, unable to stop herself to assist her, was involuntarily hurried along, and reached the bottom in safety.
They started off. Marianne initially had the upper hand, but a misstep caused her to fall suddenly; and Margaret, unable to stop and help her, was unintentionally swept along and made it to the bottom safely.
A gentleman carrying a gun, with two pointers playing round him, was passing up the hill and within a few yards of Marianne, when her accident happened. He put down his gun and ran to her assistance. She had raised herself from the ground, but her foot had been twisted in her fall, and she was scarcely able to stand. The gentleman offered his services; and perceiving that her modesty declined what[36] her situation rendered necessary, took her up in his arms without farther delay, and carried her down the hill. Then passing through the garden, the gate of which had been left open by Margaret, he bore her directly into the house, whither Margaret was just arrived, and quitted not his hold till he had seated her in a chair in the parlour.
A man with a gun, accompanied by two dogs, was walking up the hill near Marianne when her accident occurred. He put down his gun and rushed to help her. She had managed to get up, but her foot was twisted from the fall, and she could barely stand. The man offered his assistance, and seeing that her modesty prevented her from accepting what her situation required, he picked her up in his arms without hesitation and carried her down the hill. Then, passing through the garden, which Margaret had left open, he took her straight into the house, where Margaret had just arrived, and didn’t let go of her until he had placed her in a chair in the parlor.
Elinor and her mother rose up in amazement at their entrance, and while the eyes of both were fixed on him with an evident wonder and a secret admiration which equally sprung from his appearance, he apologized for his intrusion by relating its cause, in a manner so frank and so graceful that his person, which was uncommonly handsome, received additional charms from his voice and expression. Had he been even old, ugly, and vulgar, the gratitude and kindness of Mrs. Dashwood would have been secured by any act of attention to her child; but the influence of youth, beauty, and elegance, gave an interest to the action which came home to her feelings.
Elinor and her mother were surprised when he walked in, and both were clearly amazed and secretly admiring his appearance. He apologized for interrupting and explained why he came in such a straightforward and charming way that his already handsome looks became even more appealing because of his voice and expression. Even if he had been old, unattractive, and rude, Mrs. Dashwood would have appreciated any kindness shown to her daughter, but the combination of youth, beauty, and elegance made his actions especially meaningful to her.
She thanked him again and again; and, with a sweetness of address which always attended her, invited him to be seated. But this he declined, as he was dirty and wet. Mrs. Dashwood then begged to know to whom she was obliged. His name, he replied, was Willoughby, and his present home was at Allenham, from whence he hoped she would allow him the honour of calling tomorrow to enquire after Miss Dashwood. The honour was readily granted, and he then departed, to make himself still more interesting, in the midst of a heavy rain.
She thanked him repeatedly and, with her usual warmth, invited him to sit down. However, he declined because he was dirty and wet. Mrs. Dashwood then asked who she owed this encounter to. He introduced himself as Willoughby and mentioned that he currently lived at Allenham, from where he hoped she would allow him the pleasure of coming by tomorrow to check on Miss Dashwood. She gladly agreed, and he then left to make himself even more intriguing, despite the pouring rain.
His manly beauty and more than common gracefulness were instantly the theme of general admiration, and the laugh which his gallantry raised against Marianne received particular spirit from his exterior attractions. Marianne herself had seen less of his person than the rest, for the confusion which crimsoned over her face, on his lifting her up, had robbed her of the power of regarding him after their entering the house. But she had seen enough of him to join in all the admiration of the others, and with an energy which always adorned her praise. His person and air were equal to what her fancy had ever drawn for the hero of a favourite story; and in his carrying her into the house with so little previous formality, there was a rapidity of thought which[37] particularly recommended the action to her. Every circumstance belonging to him was interesting. His name was good, his residence was in their favourite village, and she soon found out that of all manly dresses a shooting-jacket was the most becoming. Her imagination was busy, her reflections were pleasant, and the pain of a sprained ankle was disregarded.
His handsome looks and unusual grace immediately became the talk of everyone around, and the laughter his charm elicited about Marianne was further fueled by his striking appearance. Marianne herself had barely noticed him as much as the others, since the embarrassment flooding her face when he lifted her had stolen her ability to look at him after they entered the house. However, she had seen enough to share in the admiration of the others, praising him with an enthusiasm that always made her compliments stand out. His looks and demeanor matched what her imagination had always envisioned for the hero of her favorite story, and the way he carried her into the house with such casual confidence particularly appealed to her. Everything about him was intriguing. He had a good name, lived in their favorite village, and she quickly realized that among all men's clothing, a shooting jacket suited him best. Her imagination was active, her thoughts were pleasant, and she ignored the pain from her sprained ankle.
Sir John called on them as soon as the next interval of fair weather that morning allowed him to get out of doors; and Marianne's accident being related to him, he was eagerly asked whether he knew any gentleman of the name of Willoughby at Allenham.
Sir John visited them as soon as the next break in the nice weather that morning let him get outside; and when he heard about Marianne's accident, he eagerly asked if he knew any gentleman named Willoughby from Allenham.
"Willoughby!" cried Sir John; "what, is he in the country? That is good news however; I will ride over tomorrow, and ask him to dinner on Thursday."
"Willoughby!" exclaimed Sir John; "wait, is he in the country? That's great news; I'll ride over tomorrow and invite him to dinner on Thursday."
"You know him then," said Mrs. Dashwood.
"You know him, then," Mrs. Dashwood said.
"Know him! to be sure I do. Why, he is down here every year."
"Of course I know him! He's here every year."
"And what sort of a young man is he?"
"And what kind of young man is he?"
"As good a kind of fellow as ever lived, I assure you. A very decent shot, and there is not a bolder rider in England."
"He's as good a guy as you'll ever meet, I promise you. A really decent shot, and there's no braver rider in England."
"And is that all you can say for him?" cried Marianne, indignantly. "But what are his manners on more intimate acquaintance? What his pursuits, his talents, and genius?"
"And is that all you can say about him?" Marianne exclaimed, feeling indignant. "But how are his manners when you get to know him better? What are his interests, his skills, and his talents?"
Sir John was rather puzzled.
Sir John was quite confused.
"Upon my soul," said he, "I do not know much about him as to all that. But he is a pleasant, good humoured fellow, and has got the nicest little black bitch of a pointer I ever saw. Was she out with him today?"
"Honestly," he said, "I don't know much about him in that way. But he's a nice, friendly guy, and he has the cutest little black pointer dog I've ever seen. Was she out with him today?"
But Marianne could no more satisfy him as to the colour of Mr. Willoughby's pointer, than he could describe to her the shades of his mind.
But Marianne could no more satisfy him about the color of Mr. Willoughby's pointer than he could explain to her the nuances of his thoughts.
"But who is he?" said Elinor. "Where does he come from? Has he a house at Allenham?"
"But who is he?" Elinor asked. "Where does he come from? Does he have a house in Allenham?"
On this point Sir John could give more certain intelligence; and he told them that Mr. Willoughby had no property of his own in the country; that he resided there only while he was visiting the old lady at Allenham Court, to whom he was related, and whose possessions he was to inherit; adding, "Yes, yes, he is very well worth catching I can tell you, Miss Dashwood; he has a pretty little estate of his own in[38] Somersetshire besides; and if I were you, I would not give him up to my younger sister, in spite of all this tumbling down hills. Miss Marianne must not expect to have all the men to herself. Brandon will be jealous, if she does not take care."
On this subject, Sir John could provide more accurate information. He told them that Mr. Willoughby didn’t own any property in the area; he only stayed there while visiting the old lady at Allenham Court, who was his relative and from whom he was set to inherit. He added, “Yes, yes, he’s definitely worth going after, I can tell you, Miss Dashwood; he also has a nice little estate of his own in[38] Somersetshire. If I were you, I wouldn’t let him go to my younger sister, despite all this rolling down hills business. Miss Marianne shouldn’t expect to have all the men to herself. Brandon will get jealous if she’s not careful.”
"I do not believe," said Mrs. Dashwood, with a good humoured smile, "that Mr. Willoughby will be incommoded by the attempts of either of my daughters towards what you call catching him. It is not an employment to which they have been brought up. Men are very safe with us, let them be ever so rich. I am glad to find, however, from what you say, that he is a respectable young man, and one whose acquaintance will not be ineligible."
"I don't believe," said Mrs. Dashwood with a friendly smile, "that Mr. Willoughby will be bothered by either of my daughters trying to, as you put it, catch him. It's not something they've been raised to do. Men are quite safe around us, no matter how wealthy they are. I'm glad to hear from what you say that he’s a decent young man, and someone whose friendship would be a good thing."
"He is as good a sort of fellow, I believe, as ever lived," repeated Sir John. "I remember last Christmas at a little hop at the park, he danced from eight o'clock till four, without once sitting down."
"He's as good a guy as you'll ever meet," Sir John said again. "I remember last Christmas at a small dance at the park, he danced from eight in the evening until four in the morning, without sitting down once."
"Did he indeed?" cried Marianne with sparkling eyes, "and with elegance, with spirit?"
"Did he really?" Marianne exclaimed, her eyes sparkling. "And was it with elegance, with spirit?"
"Yes; and he was up again at eight to ride to covert."
"Yeah; and he was up again at eight to head to the hunting spot."
"That is what I like; that is what a young man ought to be. Whatever be his pursuits, his eagerness in them should know no moderation, and leave him no sense of fatigue."
"That's what I like; that's what a young man should be. Whatever his interests, he should dive into them wholeheartedly and not feel tired at all."
"Aye, aye, I see how it will be," said Sir John, "I see how it will be. You will be setting your cap at him now, and never think of poor Brandon."
"Yeah, I see how this is going to turn out," said Sir John, "I see how this is going to play out. You're going to be trying to win him over now and completely forget about poor Brandon."
"That is an expression, Sir John," said Marianne, warmly, "which I particularly dislike. I abhor every common-place phrase by which wit is intended; and 'setting one's cap at a man,' or 'making a conquest,' are the most odious of all. Their tendency is gross and illiberal; and if their construction could ever be deemed clever, time has long ago destroyed all its ingenuity."
"That’s an expression I really dislike, Sir John," Marianne said warmly. "I can't stand any cliché that’s meant to be witty, and 'setting one's cap at a man' or 'making a conquest' are the worst of all. They’re crass and vulgar, and even if they were ever clever, time has completely drained them of their originality."
Sir John did not much understand this reproof; but he laughed as heartily as if he did, and then replied—
Sir John didn’t quite get this criticism; but he laughed as if he did, and then replied—
"Ay, you will make conquests enough, I dare say, one way or other. Poor Brandon! he is quite smitten already, and he is very well worth setting your cap at, I can tell you, in spite of all this tumbling about and spraining of ankles."
"Yeah, you’re going to have plenty of successes, I’m sure, one way or another. Poor Brandon! He’s already head over heels, and he’s definitely worth going after, let me tell you, despite all this falling and twisting of ankles."
CHAPTER X
Marianne's preserver, as Margaret, with more elegance than precision, styled Willoughby, called at the cottage early the next morning to make his personal enquiries. He was received by Mrs. Dashwood with more than politeness; with a kindness which Sir John's account of him and her own gratitude prompted; and every thing that passed during the visit tended to assure him of the sense, elegance, mutual affection, and domestic comfort of the family to whom accident had now introduced him. Of their personal charms he had not required a second interview to be convinced.
Marianne's protector, or as Margaret referred to him with a bit more grace than accuracy, Willoughby, visited the cottage early the next morning to ask about them personally. He was welcomed by Mrs. Dashwood with more than just courtesy; her kindness was fueled by Sir John's description of him and her own appreciation. Everything that happened during the visit made him feel assured of the family's intellect, grace, mutual love, and homey atmosphere that fate had now brought him into. He didn't need a second meeting to be convinced of their personal appeal.
Miss Dashwood had a delicate complexion, regular features, and a remarkably pretty figure. Marianne was still handsomer. Her form, though not so correct as her sister's, in having the advantage of height, was more striking; and her face was so lovely, that when in the common cant of praise, she was called a beautiful girl, truth was less violently outraged than usually happens. Her skin was very brown, but, from its transparency, her complexion was uncommonly brilliant; her features were all good; her smile was sweet and attractive; and in her eyes, which were very dark, there was a life, a spirit, an eagerness, which could hardily be seen without delight. From Willoughby their expression was at first held back, by the embarrassment which the remembrance of his assistance created. But when this passed away, when her spirits became collected, when she saw that to the perfect good-breeding of the gentleman, he united frankness and vivacity, and above all, when she heard him declare, that of music and dancing he was passionately fond, she gave him such a look of approbation as secured the largest share of his discourse to herself for the rest of his stay.
Miss Dashwood had a delicate complexion, regular features, and a remarkably pretty figure. Marianne was even more attractive. Her figure, while not as perfect as her sister's, was more eye-catching due to her height; and her face was so beautiful that when people described her as a stunning girl, it was less of a stretch than usual. Her skin was quite dark, but its transparency made her complexion exceptionally radiant; her features were all lovely; her smile was sweet and inviting; and in her very dark eyes, there was a liveliness, a spirit, and an eagerness that was hard to resist. At first, her expression was restrained around Willoughby, due to the awkwardness from remembering his help. But once that passed, as her spirits settled and she noticed that alongside his perfect manners, he had openness and energy, especially when she heard him say that he was passionately fond of music and dancing, she gave him such a look of approval that he directed most of his conversation toward her for the rest of his visit.
It was only necessary to mention any favourite amusement to engage her to talk. She could not be silent when such points were introduced, and she had neither shyness nor reserve in their discussion. They speedily discovered that their enjoyment of dancing and music was mutual, and that it arose from a general conformity of judgment in all that[40] related to either. Encouraged by this to a further examination of his opinions, she proceeded to question him on the subject of books; her favourite authors were brought forward and dwelt upon with so rapturous a delight, that any young man of five and twenty must have been insensible indeed, not to become an immediate convert to the excellence of such works, however disregarded before. Their taste was strikingly alike. The same books, the same passages were idolized by each; or if any difference appeared, any objection arose, it lasted no longer than till the force of her arguments and the brightness of her eyes could be displayed. He acquiesced in all her decisions, caught all her enthusiasm; and long before his visit concluded, they conversed with the familiarity of a long-established acquaintance.
It only took mentioning a favorite hobby to get her talking. She couldn't be quiet when those topics came up, and she didn't hold back in discussing them. They quickly found out that they both enjoyed dancing and music, and that their enjoyment came from a shared perspective on both. Encouraged by this, she started asking him about books; she excitedly talked about her favorite authors, with such enthusiasm that any young man of twenty-five would have had to be completely uncaring not to appreciate these works, no matter how overlooked they were before. Their tastes were remarkably similar. They both loved the same books and passages; even if a difference came up or a disagreement occurred, it would vanish as soon as she made her points and showed her passion. He agreed with all her views and shared in her excitement; by the end of his visit, they spoke with the ease of long-time friends.
"Well, Marianne," said Elinor, as soon as he had left them, "for one morning I think you have done pretty well. You have already ascertained Mr. Willoughby's opinion in almost every matter of importance. You know what he thinks of Cowper and Scott; you are certain of his estimating their beauties as he ought, and you have received every assurance of his admiring Pope no more than is proper. But how is your acquaintance to be long supported, under such extraordinary despatch of every subject for discourse? You will soon have exhausted each favourite topic. Another meeting will suffice to explain his sentiments on picturesque beauty, and second marriages, and then you can have nothing farther to ask."
"Well, Marianne," Elinor said as soon as he left them, "for one morning, I think you’ve done pretty well. You’ve already figured out Mr. Willoughby’s opinion on almost every important matter. You know what he thinks of Cowper and Scott; you’re sure he appreciates their qualities as he should, and you’ve gotten every assurance that he admires Pope just the right amount. But how will your friendship last if you cover every topic so quickly? You’ll run out of favorite subjects soon. Another meeting will just clarify his thoughts on picturesque beauty and second marriages, and then you won’t have anything else to ask."
"Elinor," cried Marianne, "is this fair? is this just? are my ideas so scanty? But I see what you mean. I have been too much at my ease, too happy, too frank. I have erred against every common-place notion of decorum; I have been open and sincere where I ought to have been reserved, spiritless, dull, and deceitful:—had I talked only of the weather and the roads, and had I spoken only once in ten minutes, this reproach would have been spared."
"Elinor," Marianne exclaimed, "is this fair? Is this right? Are my thoughts so limited? But I understand what you're saying. I've been too relaxed, too happy, too honest. I've gone against every basic idea of propriety; I've been open and genuine when I should have been reserved, unexciting, dull, and dishonest:—if I had only talked about the weather and the roads, and if I had only said something once every ten minutes, this criticism would have been avoided."
"My love," said her mother, "you must not be offended with Elinor—she was only in jest. I should scold her myself, if she were capable of wishing to check the delight of your conversation with our new friend." Marianne was softened in a moment.
"My love," said her mother, "you shouldn't take offense at Elinor—she was just joking. I would scold her myself if she even thought about interrupting the joy of your conversation with our new friend." Marianne relaxed instantly.
Willoughby, on his side, gave every proof of his pleasure[41] in their acquaintance, which an evident wish of improving it could offer. He came to them every day. To enquire after Marianne was at first his excuse; but the encouragement of his reception, to which every day gave greater kindness, made such an excuse unnecessary before it had ceased to be possible, by Marianne's perfect recovery. She was confined for some days to the house; but never had any confinement been less irksome. Willoughby was a young man of good abilities, quick imagination, lively spirits, and open, affectionate manners. He was exactly formed to engage Marianne's heart, for with all this, he joined not only a captivating person, but a natural ardour of mind which was now roused and increased by the example of her own, and which recommended him to her affection beyond every thing else.
Willoughby showed every sign of enjoying their friendship[41] and clearly wanted to deepen it. He visited them every day. At first, he used the excuse of checking on Marianne, but the warmth of his welcome, which grew friendlier with each visit, made that excuse unnecessary before it became irrelevant due to Marianne's complete recovery. She had been stuck at home for a few days, but she'd never felt so little restricted. Willoughby was a young man with great abilities, a quick imagination, lively spirits, and an open, caring attitude. He was perfectly suited to win Marianne's heart, as he not only had an attractive appearance but also a natural passion that was now sparked and intensified by her own, making him irresistible to her affections above all else.
His society became gradually her most exquisite enjoyment. They read, they talked, they sang together; his musical talents were considerable; and he read with all the sensibility and spirit which Edward had unfortunately wanted.
His company gradually became her greatest pleasure. They read, they talked, they sang together; he had impressive musical skills, and he read with all the sensitivity and enthusiasm that Edward sadly lacked.
In Mrs. Dashwood's estimation he was as faultless as in Marianne's; and Elinor saw nothing to censure in him but a propensity, in which he strongly resembled and peculiarly delighted her sister, of saying too much what he thought on every occasion, without attention to persons or circumstances. In hastily forming and giving his opinion of other people, in sacrificing general politeness to the enjoyment of undivided attention where his heart was engaged, and in slighting too easily the forms of worldly propriety, he displayed a want of caution which Elinor could not approve, in spite of all that he and Marianne could say in its support.
In Mrs. Dashwood's view, he was as perfect as he was in Marianne's; and Elinor saw nothing to criticize in him except for a tendency, which he strongly shared and that particularly pleased her sister, to express too many of his thoughts on every occasion, without regard for people or situations. By quickly forming and sharing his opinions about others, sacrificing general politeness for the enjoyment of undivided attention when his heart was involved, and easily disregarding the norms of social propriety, he showed a lack of caution that Elinor couldn't endorse, despite everything he and Marianne could say in its defense.
Marianne began now to perceive that the desperation which had seized her at sixteen and a half, of ever seeing a man who could satisfy her ideas of perfection, had been rash and unjustifiable. Willoughby was all that her fancy had delineated in that unhappy hour and in every brighter period, as capable of attaching her; and his behaviour declared his wishes to be in that respect as earnest, as his abilities were strong.
Marianne now started to realize that the desperation she felt at sixteen and a half about finding a man who could meet her ideals of perfection had been impulsive and unreasonable. Willoughby was everything her imagination had described during that difficult time and in all the happier moments, as someone who could capture her heart; and his actions showed that he was just as serious about that as he was capable.
Her mother too, in whose mind not one speculative thought of their marriage had been raised, by his prospect of riches, was led before the end of a week to hope and expect it; and secretly to congratulate herself on having gained two such sons-in-law as Edward and Willoughby. [43]
Her mother, who hadn't considered their marriage at all because of his wealth, found herself hoping for it by the end of the week. She secretly congratulated herself for having gained two impressive sons-in-law like Edward and Willoughby. [43]
Colonel Brandon's partiality for Marianne, which had so early been discovered by his friends, now first became perceptible to Elinor, when it ceased to be noticed by them. Their attention and wit were drawn off to his more fortunate rival; and the raillery which the other had incurred before any partiality arose, was removed when his feelings began really to call for the ridicule so justly annexed to sensibility. Elinor was obliged, though unwillingly, to believe that the sentiments which Mrs. Jennings had assigned him for her own satisfaction, were now actually excited by her sister; and that however a general resemblance of disposition between the parties might forward the affection of Mr. Willoughby, an equally striking opposition of character was no hindrance to the regard of Colonel Brandon. She saw it with concern; for what could a silent man of five and thirty hope, when opposed to a very lively one of five and twenty? and as she could not even wish him successful, she heartily wished him indifferent. She liked him—in spite of his gravity and reserve, she beheld in him an object of interest. His manners, though serious, were mild; and his reserve appeared rather the result of some oppression of spirits than of any natural gloominess of temper. Sir John had dropped hints of past injuries and disappointments, which justified her belief of his being an unfortunate man, and she regarded him with respect and compassion.
Colonel Brandon's affection for Marianne, which his friends had noticed early on, only became clear to Elinor when it was no longer the focus of their attention. They shifted their interest and humor to his luckier rival, and the teasing that had been aimed at Brandon before any feelings developed faded away just as his true emotions began to deserve the mockery often associated with sensitivity. Elinor was reluctantly forced to believe that the feelings Mrs. Jennings thought he had for her own reasons were now genuinely stirred by her sister; and while a shared disposition might help Mr. Willoughby’s affections, the stark differences in character did not deter Colonel Brandon's regard. She felt troubled by this; what could a quiet man of thirty-five hope for when competing against a vibrant twenty-five-year-old? Since she couldn't even wish him luck, she sincerely hoped he would remain indifferent. She liked him—despite his seriousness and reserved nature, she found him intriguing. Though his demeanor was serious, it felt gentle, and his reserve seemed more like a result of past struggles than natural gloominess. Sir John had hinted at previous hurts and disappointments, leading her to believe that he was an unfortunate man, and she viewed him with respect and compassion.
Perhaps she pitied and esteemed him the more because he was slighted by Willoughby and Marianne, who, prejudiced against him for being neither lively nor young, seemed resolved to undervalue his merits.
Perhaps she felt more pity and respect for him because he was dismissed by Willoughby and Marianne, who, biased against him for being neither lively nor young, seemed determined to overlook his qualities.
"Brandon is just the kind of man," said Willoughby one day, when they were talking of him together, "whom every body speaks well of, and nobody cares about; whom all are delighted to see, and nobody remembers to talk to."
"Brandon is exactly the kind of guy," Willoughby said one day while they were discussing him, "whom everyone speaks highly of, and nobody actually cares about; whom everyone is happy to see, but nobody thinks to talk to."
"That is exactly what I think of him," cried Marianne.
"That's exactly what I think of him," Marianne exclaimed.
"Do not boast of it, however," said Elinor, "for it is injustice in both of you. He is highly esteemed by all the family at the park, and I never see him myself without taking pains to converse with him."
"Don't brag about it, though," said Elinor, "because that's unfair to both of you. He's held in high regard by everyone in the family at the park, and I always make an effort to talk to him whenever I see him."
"That he is patronised by you," replied Willoughby, "is certainly in his favour; but as for the esteem of the others, it is a reproach in itself. Who would submit to the indignity of being approved by such a woman as Lady Middleton and[44] Mrs. Jennings, that could command the indifference of any body else?"
"That you support him," replied Willoughby, "is definitely a plus for him; but as for being liked by the others, that's actually a downside. Who would want the embarrassment of being endorsed by someone like Lady Middleton and[44] Mrs. Jennings, who could easily get anyone else to ignore them?"
"But perhaps the abuse of such people as yourself and Marianne will make amends for the regard of Lady Middleton and her mother. If their praise is censure, your censure may be praise, for they are not more undiscerning, than you are prejudiced and unjust."
"But maybe the mistreatment of people like you and Marianne will balance out the favor of Lady Middleton and her mother. If their praise is actually criticism, then your criticism might be seen as praise, since they are no less clueless than you are biased and unfair."
"In defence of your protégé you can even be saucy."
"In defense of your protégé, you can even be a bit cheeky."
"My protégé, as you call him, is a sensible man; and sense will always have attractions for me. Yes, Marianne, even in a man between thirty and forty. He has seen a great deal of the world; has been abroad, has read, and has a thinking mind. I have found him capable of giving me much information on various subjects; and he has always answered my inquiries with readiness of good-breeding and good nature."
"My protégé, as you call him, is a sensible guy; and common sense will always appeal to me. Yes, Marianne, even in a man who's between thirty and forty. He has experienced a lot of the world; has traveled abroad, has read, and has a thoughtful mind. I've found him capable of giving me a lot of information on various topics; and he's always answered my questions with politeness and kindness."
"That is to say," cried Marianne contemptuously, "he has told you, that in the East Indies the climate is hot, and the mosquitoes are troublesome."
"That is to say," Marianne said with disdain, "he has told you that in the East Indies the weather is hot and the mosquitoes are a hassle."
"He would have told me so, I doubt not, had I made any such inquiries, but they happened to be points on which I had been previously informed."
"He would have told me that if I had asked, but those were things I already knew."
"Perhaps," said Willoughby, "his observations may have extended to the existence of nabobs, gold mohrs, and palanquins."
"Maybe," said Willoughby, "his observations could have included nabobs, gold mohrs, and palanquins."
"I may venture to say that his observations have stretched much further than your candour. But why should you dislike him?"
"I can say that his observations have gone much further than your honesty. But why do you have a problem with him?"
"I do not dislike him. I consider him, on the contrary, as a very respectable man, who has every body's good word, and nobody's notice; who, has more money than he can spend, more time than he knows how to employ, and two new coats every year."
"I don't dislike him. On the contrary, I see him as a very respectable man, who has everyone's praise but no one pays much attention to him; he has more money than he can spend, more time than he knows what to do with, and gets two new coats every year."
"Add to which," cried Marianne, "that he has neither genius, taste, nor spirit. That his understanding has no brilliancy, his feelings no ardour, and his voice no expression."
"On top of that," Marianne exclaimed, "he has no talent, style, or passion. His mind lacks brilliance, his feelings lack intensity, and his voice lacks expression."
"You decide on his imperfections so much in the mass," replied Elinor, "and so much on the strength of your own imagination, that the commendation I am able to give of him is comparatively cold and insipid. I can only pronounce him to be a sensible man, well-bred, well-informed, of gentle address, and, I believe, possessing an amiable heart."[45]
"You judge his flaws so heavily based on what everyone else thinks," Elinor replied, "and so much on your own imagination, that the praise I can give him seems pretty lukewarm and dull. All I can say is that he's sensible, well-mannered, knowledgeable, has a nice way about him, and I believe he has a kind heart."[45]
"Miss Dashwood," cried Willoughby, "you are now using me unkindly. You are endeavouring to disarm me by reason, and to convince me against my will. But it will not do. You shall find me as stubborn as you can be artful. I have three unanswerable reasons for disliking Colonel Brandon; he threatened me with rain when I wanted it to be fine; he has found fault with the hanging of my curricle, and I cannot persuade him to buy my brown mare. If it will be any satisfaction to you, however, to be told, that I believe his character to be in other respects irreproachable, I am ready to confess it. And in return for an acknowledgment, which must give me some pain, you cannot deny me the privilege of disliking him as much as ever."
"Miss Dashwood," Willoughby exclaimed, "you're being unkind to me right now. You're trying to reason with me and convince me against my will. But that's not going to work. You'll find I'm just as stubborn as you are clever. I have three solid reasons for not liking Colonel Brandon: he threatened me with rain when I wanted it to be sunny, he criticized the way my curricle is hung, and I can't get him to buy my brown mare. However, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll admit that I believe his character is otherwise beyond reproach. But, in exchange for this confession, which I must say pains me, you can't take away my right to dislike him just as much as before."
CHAPTER XI
Little had Mrs. Dashwood or her daughters imagined when they first came into Devonshire, that so many engagements would arise to occupy their time as shortly presented themselves, or that they should have such frequent invitations and such constant visitors as to leave them little leisure for serious employment. Yet such was the case. When Marianne was recovered, the schemes of amusement at home and abroad, which Sir John had been previously forming, were put into execution. The private balls at the park then began; and parties on the water were made and accomplished as often as a showery October would allow. In every meeting of the kind Willoughby was included; and the ease and familiarity which naturally attended these parties were exactly calculated to give increasing intimacy to his acquaintance with the Dashwoods, to afford him opportunity of witnessing the excellencies of Marianne, of marking his animated admiration of her, and of receiving, in her behaviour to himself, the most pointed assurance of her affection.
Little did Mrs. Dashwood or her daughters anticipate when they first arrived in Devonshire that so many social events would soon fill their time, or that they would receive so many frequent invitations and visitors that they would have little time for serious pursuits. But that was exactly what happened. Once Marianne recovered, the entertainment plans that Sir John had been preparing were put into action. The private balls at the park began, and boat outings took place as often as a rainy October would allow. Willoughby was included in every event, and the relaxed atmosphere of these gatherings only intensified his relationship with the Dashwoods, giving him the chance to admire Marianne’s qualities, show his admiration for her, and receive clear signs of her affection in how she treated him.
Elinor could not be surprised at their attachment. She only wished that it were less openly shown; and once or twice did venture to suggest the propriety of some self-command to Marianne. But Marianne abhorred all concealment where no[46] real disgrace could attend unreserve; and to aim at the restraint of sentiments which were not in themselves illaudable, appeared to her not merely an unnecessary effort, but a disgraceful subjection of reason to common-place and mistaken notions. Willoughby thought the same; and their behaviour at all times, was an illustration of their opinions.
Elinor couldn't be surprised by their attachment. She just wished it were less obvious; a couple of times, she tried to suggest that Marianne exercise some self-control. But Marianne hated hiding her feelings when there was no real shame in being open, and trying to hold back emotions that weren't actually wrong seemed to her not only unnecessary but also a shameful surrender of reason to ordinary and misguided ideas. Willoughby felt the same way, and their behavior at all times showed this belief.
When he was present she had no eyes for any one else. Every thing he did, was right. Every thing he said, was clever. If their evenings at the park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. If dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together and scarcely spoke a word to any body else. Such conduct made them of course most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them.
When he was around, she didn’t notice anyone else. Everything he did was right. Everything he said was smart. If their evenings at the park ended with cards, he would cheat himself and everyone else just to give her a good hand. If they spent the night dancing, they were partners for half the time, and when they had to separate for a couple of dances, they made sure to stay close together and hardly talked to anyone else. This behavior made them the subject of a lot of laughter, but their laughter didn’t embarrass them or even seem to bother them.
Mrs. Dashwood entered into all their feelings with a warmth which left her no inclination for checking this excessive display of them. To her it was but the natural consequence of a strong affection in a young and ardent mind.
Mrs. Dashwood fully engaged with their emotions, feeling a warmth that made her have no desire to hold back this intense expression of them. For her, it was just a natural outcome of a deep affection in a young and passionate mind.
This was the season of happiness to Marianne. Her heart was devoted to Willoughby, and the fond attachment to Norland, which she brought with her from Sussex, was more likely to be softened than she had thought it possible before, by the charms which his society bestowed on her present home.
This was the season of happiness for Marianne. Her heart was set on Willoughby, and the deep affection for Norland that she brought with her from Sussex was more likely to fade than she had previously thought, thanks to the charms that his company brought to her current home.
Elinor's happiness was not so great. Her heart was not so much at ease, nor her satisfaction in their amusements so pure. They afforded her no companion that could make amends for what she had left behind, nor that could teach her to think of Norland with less regret than ever. Neither Lady Middleton nor Mrs. Jennings could supply to her the conversation she missed; although the latter was an everlasting talker, and from the first had regarded her with a kindness which ensured her a large share of her discourse. She had already repeated her own history to Elinor three or four times; and had Elinor's memory been equal to her means of improvement, she might have known very early in their acquaintance all the particulars of Mr. Jennings's last illness, and what he said to his wife a few minutes before he died. Lady Middleton was more agreeable than her mother only in being more silent. Elinor needed little observation to perceive that her reserve[47] was a mere calmness of manner with which sense had nothing to do. Towards her husband and mother she was the same as to them; and intimacy was therefore neither to be looked for nor desired. She had nothing to say one day that she had not said the day before. Her insipidity was invariable, for even her spirits were always the same; and though she did not oppose the parties arranged by her husband, provided every thing were conducted in style and her two eldest children attended her, she never appeared to receive more enjoyment from them than she might have experienced in sitting at home; and so little did her presence add to the pleasure of the others, by any share in their conversation, that they were sometimes only reminded of her being amongst them by her solicitude about her troublesome boys.
Elinor's happiness wasn't as strong. Her heart felt uneasy, and her enjoyment of their activities was less genuine. She didn't find anyone who could compensate for what she had left behind or help her think of Norland with any less regret than before. Neither Lady Middleton nor Mrs. Jennings could provide the conversation she longed for; although Mrs. Jennings was an incessant talker and had always treated Elinor with a kindness that meant she monopolized much of the conversation. By this point, she had already told Elinor her own story three or four times, and had Elinor's memory been as sharp as her capacity for learning, she might have quickly learned all the details of Mr. Jennings's last illness and what he said to his wife just moments before he died. Lady Middleton was only more pleasant than her mother because she spoke less. Elinor quickly noticed that her silence was just that—a calm demeanor divorced from any real substance. She treated her husband and mother the same way, so no closeness was either expected or wanted. Each day, she had nothing new to say; her dullness was constant, as even her mood was always the same. Although she didn't mind the events her husband planned, as long as everything was done well and her two oldest children were with her, she seemed to get no more joy from them than she would have sitting at home. Her presence hardly added to the fun of others, and they sometimes only remembered she was there because of her fussing over her rambunctious boys.
In Colonel Brandon alone, of all her new acquaintance, did Elinor find a person who could in any degree claim the respect of abilities, excite the interest of friendship, or give pleasure as a companion. Willoughby was out of the question. Her admiration and regard, even her sisterly regard, was all his own; but he was a lover; his attentions were wholly Marianne's, and a far less agreeable man might have been more generally pleasing. Colonel Brandon, unfortunately for himself, had no such encouragement to think only of Marianne, and in conversing with Elinor he found the greatest consolation for the indifference of her sister.
In Colonel Brandon alone, of all her new acquaintances, Elinor found someone who could, to some extent, earn her respect for their abilities, spark her interest in friendship, or provide enjoyment as a companion. Willoughby was not an option. Her admiration and affection, even her sisterly love, were all directed at him; but he was a romantic—his attention was completely focused on Marianne, and a much less pleasant guy might have been more widely liked. Unfortunately for Colonel Brandon, he didn't have the same encouragement to focus solely on Marianne, and chatting with Elinor provided him the greatest comfort for her sister's indifference.
Elinor's compassion for him increased, as she had reason to suspect that the misery of disappointed love had already been known to him. This suspicion was given by some words which accidentally dropped from him one evening at the park, when they were sitting down together by mutual consent, while the others were dancing. His eyes were fixed on Marianne, and, after a silence of some minutes, he said, with a faint smile, "Your sister, I understand, does not approve of second attachments."
Elinor’s compassion for him grew, as she had reason to believe that he had already experienced the pain of unrequited love. This suspicion was sparked by some words he let slip one evening at the park when they were sitting together by mutual agreement, while the others danced. His gaze was focused on Marianne, and after a few moments of silence, he said with a slight smile, “I hear your sister isn't a fan of moving on to new relationships.”
"No," replied Elinor, "her opinions are all romantic."
"No," Elinor said, "her views are all about romance."
"Or rather, as I believe, she considers them impossible to exist."
"Or rather, as I see it, she thinks they can't possibly exist."
"I believe she does. But how she contrives it without reflecting on the character of her own father, who had himself two wives, I know not. A few years however will settle her opinions on the reasonable basis of common sense and observation;[48] and then they may be more easy to define and to justify than they now are, by any body but herself."
"I think she does. But I don't understand how she manages it without considering the character of her own father, who had two wives himself. A few years will clarify her views based on common sense and observation;[48] and then they might be easier to explain and defend than they are right now, by anyone other than herself."
"This will probably be the case," he replied; "and yet there is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions."
"This is likely true," he said; "and yet there's something so charming about the biases of a young mind that it’s a shame to watch them yield to more widely accepted views."
"I cannot agree with you there," said Elinor. "There are inconveniences attending such feelings as Marianne's, which all the charms of enthusiasm and ignorance of the world cannot atone for. Her systems have all the unfortunate tendency of setting propriety at nought; and a better acquaintance with the world is what I look forward to as her greatest possible advantage."
"I can't agree with you on that," said Elinor. "There are downsides to feelings like Marianne's that all the excitement and naivety in the world can't make up for. Her beliefs tend to completely disregard what’s proper, and I see a better understanding of the world as her biggest potential benefit."
After a short pause he resumed the conversation by saying—
After a short pause, he continued the conversation by saying—
"Does your sister make no distinction in her objections against a second attachment? or is it equally criminal in every body? Are those who have been disappointed in their first choice, whether from the inconstancy of its object, or the perverseness of circumstances, to be equally indifferent during the rest of their lives?"
"Does your sister see no difference in her objections to a second relationship? Or is it wrong for everyone? Are those who were let down in their first choice, whether because their partner was fickle or because of bad circumstances, supposed to remain indifferent for the rest of their lives?"
"Upon my word, I am not acquainted with the minutiæ of her principles. I only know that I never yet heard her admit any instance of a second attachment's being pardonable."
"Honestly, I’m not familiar with the details of her beliefs. I only know that I’ve never heard her say that a second attachment is acceptable."
"This," said he, "cannot hold; but a change, a total change of sentiments—No, no, do not desire it; for when the romantic refinements of a young mind are obliged to give way, how frequently are they succeeded by such opinions as are but too common, and too dangerous! I speak from experience. I once knew a lady who in temper and mind greatly resembled your sister, who thought and judged like her, but who from an enforced change—from a series of unfortunate circumstances—" Here he stopped suddenly; appeared to think that he had said too much, and by his countenance gave rise to conjectures, which might not otherwise have entered Elinor's head. The lady would probably have passed without suspicion, had he not convinced Miss Dashwood that what concerned her ought not to escape his lips. As it was, it required but a slight effort of fancy to connect his emotion with the tender recollection of past regard. Elinor attempted no more. But Marianne, in her place, would not have done so little. The whole story[49] would have been speedily formed under her active imagination; and every thing established in the most melancholy order of disastrous love.
"This," he said, "can’t go on like this; but a change, a complete change of feelings—No, no, don’t wish for that; because when the romantic ideals of a young mind have to give way, they’re often replaced by thoughts that are all too common and really dangerous! I speak from experience. I once knew a woman who was very much like your sister in temperament and mindset, who thought and judged like her, but who, due to an enforced change—a series of unfortunate events—" He suddenly stopped, as if realizing he had said too much, and his expression sparked thoughts that might not have otherwise crossed Elinor’s mind. The woman probably would have gone unnoticed if he hadn’t made Miss Dashwood believe that what affected her shouldn’t be kept from him. As it was, it only took a little imaginative effort to link his feelings with the tender memory of past affection. Elinor didn’t pursue it further. But if it had been Marianne, she wouldn’t have left it at that. The entire story[49] would have quickly formed in her active imagination, and everything would have been established in the most tragic narrative of doomed love.
CHAPTER XII
As Elinor and Marianne were walking together the next morning the latter communicated a piece of news to her sister, which in spite of all that she knew before of Marianne's imprudence and want of thought, surprised her by its extravagant testimony of both. Marianne told her, with the greatest delight, that Willoughby had given her a horse, one that he had bred himself on his estate in Somersetshire, and which was exactly calculated to carry a woman. Without considering that it was not in her mother's plan to keep any horse, that if she were to alter her resolution in favour of this gift, she must buy another for the servant, and keep a servant to ride it, and after all, build a stable to receive them, she had accepted the present without hesitation, and told her sister of it in raptures.
As Elinor and Marianne were walking together the next morning, Marianne shared some news with her sister that, despite what she already knew about Marianne's recklessness and lack of forethought, surprised her with its extreme nature. Marianne excitedly told her that Willoughby had given her a horse, one he had bred himself on his estate in Somersetshire, which was perfect for riding. Without considering that it wasn’t in their mother’s plans to keep a horse, that if she decided to accept this gift, she would have to buy another for the servant and keep someone to ride it, and on top of all that, build a stable for them, she eagerly accepted the gift and told her sister about it with great excitement.
"He intends to send his groom into Somersetshire immediately for it," she added, "and when it arrives we will ride every day. You shall share its use with me. Imagine to yourself, my dear Elinor, the delight of a gallop on some of these downs."
"He plans to send his servant to Somersetshire right away for it," she continued, "and when it arrives, we’ll ride every day. You’ll get to use it with me. Just picture it, my dear Elinor, the joy of a ride across these hills."
Most unwilling was she to awaken from such a dream of felicity to comprehend all the unhappy truths which attended the affair; and for some time she refused to submit to them. As to an additional servant, the expense would be a trifle; Mamma she was sure would never object to it; and any horse would do for him; he might always get one at the park; as to a stable, the merest shed would be sufficient. Elinor then ventured to doubt the propriety of her receiving such a present from a man so little, or at least so lately known to her. This was too much.
She was really reluctant to wake up from such a happy dream and face all the unpleasant truths that came with the situation; for a while, she refused to accept them. As for getting an extra servant, the cost would be minimal; she was sure her mom wouldn’t mind at all; and any horse would work for him; he could always find one at the park. A simple shed would be enough for a stable. Elinor then dared to question whether it was appropriate for her to accept such a gift from a man she barely knew, or had known for such a short time. This was too much.
"You are mistaken, Elinor," said she warmly, "in supposing I know very little of Willoughby. I have not known him long indeed, but I am much better acquainted with him, than I am[50] with any other creature in the world, except yourself and mama. It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others. I should hold myself guilty of greater impropriety in accepting a horse from my brother, than from Willoughby. Of John I know very little, though we have lived together for years; but of Willoughby my judgment has long been formed."
"You’re wrong, Elinor," she said warmly, "to think I don’t know much about Willoughby. I haven’t known him for long, but I know him way better than I know[50] anyone else in the world, except for you and mom. It’s not about how much time you have or the opportunities you get; it’s all about how you connect with someone. Seven years wouldn’t be enough for some people to really know each other, while others can form a strong bond in just seven days. I would feel more uncomfortable accepting a horse from my brother than from Willoughby. I don’t know much about John, even though we’ve lived together for years, but I’ve had my opinions about Willoughby for a while now."
Elinor thought it wisest to touch that point no more. She knew her sister's temper. Opposition on so tender a subject would only attach her the more to her own opinion. But by an appeal to her affection for her mother, by representing the inconveniences which that indulgent mother must draw on herself, if (as would probably be the case) she consented to this increase of establishment, Marianne was shortly subdued; and she promised not to tempt her mother to such imprudent kindness by mentioning the offer, and to tell Willoughby when she saw him next, that it must be declined.
Elinor thought it best to leave that subject alone. She understood her sister's temperament. Arguing about such a sensitive issue would only make Marianne cling more firmly to her own viewpoint. However, by appealing to her love for their mother and highlighting the difficulties that their indulgent mother would likely face if she agreed to this increased support, Elinor soon persuaded Marianne. She promised not to pressure their mother into making such a rash decision by bringing up the offer and agreed to tell Willoughby the next time she saw him that they would have to decline.
She was faithful to her word; and when Willoughby called at the cottage, the same day, Elinor heard her express her disappointment to him in a low voice, on being obliged to forego the acceptance of his present. The reasons for this alteration were at the same time related, and they were such as to make further entreaty on his side impossible. His concern however was very apparent; and after expressing it with earnestness, he added, in the same low voice, "But, Marianne, the horse is still yours, though you cannot use it now. I shall keep it only till you can claim it. When you leave Barton to form your own establishment in a more lasting home, Queen Mab shall receive you."
She kept her promise; and when Willoughby arrived at the cottage that same day, Elinor heard her tell him, in a soft voice, how disappointed she was to have to turn down his gift. The reasons for this change were explained, making it impossible for him to persuade her otherwise. However, his concern was very clear; after expressing it sincerely, he added in the same quiet tone, "But, Marianne, the horse is still yours, even if you can't use it right now. I'll hold onto it until you can take it back. When you leave Barton to set up your own home, Queen Mab will be waiting for you."
This was all overheard by Miss Dashwood; and in the whole of the sentence, in his manner of pronouncing it, and in his addressing her sister by her Christian name alone, she instantly saw an intimacy so decided, a meaning so direct, as marked a perfect agreement between them. From that moment she doubted not of their being engaged to each other; and the belief of it created no other surprise than that she, or any of their friends, should be left by tempers so frank, to discover it by accident.
This was all overheard by Miss Dashwood; and in the whole sentence, in the way he said it, and in how he referred to her sister by her first name only, she immediately recognized a closeness that was clear, a meaning that was straightforward, indicating a perfect understanding between them. From that moment, she had no doubt that they were engaged to each other; and the only surprise about it was that she, or any of their friends, had to find out by chance due to their open personalities.
Margaret related something to her the next day, which[51] placed this matter in a still clearer light. Willoughby had spent the preceding evening with them, and Margaret, by being left some time in the parlour with only him and Marianne, had had opportunity for observations, which, with a most important face, she communicated to her eldest sister, when they were next by themselves.
Margaret shared something with her the next day, which[51] made this matter even clearer. Willoughby had spent the previous evening with them, and since Margaret was left alone in the parlor with just him and Marianne for a while, she had a chance to make some observations. With a very serious expression, she told her oldest sister about it the next time they were alone.
"Oh, Elinor!" she cried, "I have such a secret to tell you about Marianne. I am sure she will be married to Mr. Willoughby very soon."
"Oh, Elinor!" she exclaimed, "I have a huge secret to share with you about Marianne. I'm sure she’ll be marrying Mr. Willoughby very soon."
"You have said so," replied Elinor, "almost every day since they first met on High-church Down; and they had not known each other a week, I believe, before you were certain that Marianne wore his picture round her neck; but it turned out to be only the miniature of our great uncle."
"You've said that," Elinor replied, "almost every day since they first met on High-church Down; and I think it was less than a week before you were convinced that Marianne was wearing his picture around her neck, but it turned out to just be the miniature of our great uncle."
"But indeed this is quite another thing. I am sure they will be married very soon, for he has got a lock of her hair."
"But this is a completely different matter. I’m sure they’ll get married very soon because he has a lock of her hair."
"Take care, Margaret. It may be only the hair of some great uncle of his."
"Be careful, Margaret. It could just be the hair of some great uncle of his."
"But, indeed, Elinor, it is Marianne's. I am almost sure it is, for I saw him cut it off. Last night after tea, when you and mama went out of the room, they were whispering and talking together as fast as could be, and he seemed to be begging something of her, and presently he took up her scissors and cut off a long lock of her hair, for it was all tumbled down her back; and he kissed it, and folded it up in a piece of white paper; and put it into his pocket-book."
"But really, Elinor, it's Marianne's. I'm almost certain of it because I saw him cut it off. Last night after tea, when you and Mom left the room, they were whispering and chatting excitedly, and he seemed to be asking her for something. Then, he picked up her scissors and cut off a long lock of her hair, which was all messy down her back; he kissed it, folded it up in a piece of white paper, and put it in his wallet."
For such particulars, stated on such authority, Elinor could not withhold her credit; nor was she disposed to it, for the circumstance was in perfect unison with what she had heard and seen herself.
For such details, backed by such authority, Elinor couldn't doubt their validity; nor did she want to, because the situation perfectly matched what she had heard and seen herself.
Margaret's sagacity was not always displayed in a way so satisfactory to her sister. When Mrs. Jennings attacked her one evening at the park, to give the name of the young man who was Elinor's particular favourite, which had been long a matter of great curiosity to her, Margaret answered by looking at her sister, and saying, "I must not tell, may I, Elinor?"
Margaret's wisdom wasn't always shown in a way that pleased her sister. One evening in the park, when Mrs. Jennings confronted her about the identity of Elinor's favorite young man—a question she had been very curious about for a long time—Margaret replied by looking at her sister and saying, "I can't tell, can I, Elinor?"
This of course made every body laugh; and Elinor tried to laugh too. But the effort was painful. She was convinced that Margaret had fixed on a person whose name she could not bear with composure to become a standing joke with Mrs. Jennings.[52]
This, of course, made everyone laugh; and Elinor tried to laugh too. But it was a struggle. She was sure that Margaret had chosen someone whose name she couldn’t stand being a constant joke with Mrs. Jennings.[52]
Marianne felt for her most sincerely; but she did more harm than good to the cause, by turning very red and saying in an angry manner to Margaret—
Marianne sincerely cared for her; however, she did more harm than good for the situation by blushing deeply and snapping at Margaret—
"Remember that whatever your conjectures may be, you have no right to repeat them."
"Keep in mind that no matter what your guesses might be, you have no right to share them."
"I never had any conjectures about it," replied Margaret; "it was you who told me of it yourself."
"I never thought about it," Margaret replied. "You were the one who told me about it."
This increased the mirth of the company, and Margaret was eagerly pressed to say something more.
This made everyone even more cheerful, and Margaret was enthusiastically encouraged to share more.
"Oh! pray, Miss Margaret, let us know all about it," said Mrs. Jennings. "What is the gentleman's name?"
"Oh! Please, Miss Margaret, tell us everything about it," said Mrs. Jennings. "What's the gentleman's name?"
"I must not tell, ma'am. But I know very well what it is; and I know where he is too."
"I can’t say, ma’am. But I know exactly what it is, and I know where he is too."
"Yes, yes, we can guess where he is; at his own house at Norland to be sure. He is the curate of the parish I dare say."
"Yes, of course, we can guess where he is; at his own house in Norland, no doubt. He is the parish curate, I imagine."
"No, that he is not. He is of no profession at all."
"No, he's not. He doesn't have a job at all."
"Margaret," said Marianne with great warmth, "you know that all this is an invention of your own, and that there is no such person in existence."
"Margaret," Marianne said warmly, "you know this is all just your imagination, and that there’s no one like that out there."
"Well, then, he is lately dead, Marianne, for I am sure there was such a man once, and his name begins with an F."
"Well, then, he has recently passed away, Marianne, because I’m certain there was a man like that once, and his name starts with an F."
Most grateful did Elinor feel to Lady Middleton for observing, at this moment, "that it rained very hard," though she believed the interruption to proceed less from any attention to her, than from her ladyship's great dislike of all such inelegant subjects of raillery as delighted her husband and mother. The idea however started by her, was immediately pursued by Colonel Brandon, who was on every occasion mindful of the feelings of others; and much was said on the subject of rain by both of them. Willoughby opened the piano-forte, and asked Marianne to sit down to it; and thus amidst the various endeavours of different people to quit the topic, it fell to the ground. But not so easily did Elinor recover from the alarm into which it had thrown her.
Elinor felt really grateful to Lady Middleton for pointing out, at that moment, "that it was raining very hard," even though she thought the interruption came less from any concern for her and more from Lady Middleton's strong dislike of the unrefined topics that amused her husband and mother. However, the idea Lady Middleton brought up was quickly taken up by Colonel Brandon, who was always considerate of others' feelings; they both talked a lot about the rain. Willoughby opened the piano and asked Marianne to play it, and so, despite everyone’s attempts to change the subject, the discussion about rain fizzled out. But Elinor didn’t easily shake off the unease it had caused her.
A party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from Barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of Colonel Brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. The grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and Sir John, who was[54] particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them, at least, twice every summer for the last ten years. They contained a noble piece of water—a sail on which was to a form a great part of the morning's amusement; cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure.
A group was put together this evening to visit a really nice place about twelve miles from Barton, owned by Colonel Brandon's brother-in-law. We couldn't see it without his help since the owner, who was abroad, had given strict instructions about it. The grounds were said to be very beautiful, and Sir John, who was[54] especially enthusiastic in praising them, could be considered a pretty decent judge; he had organized trips to visit them at least twice every summer for the past ten years. The estate featured a grand body of water—a sail on it would make up a big part of the morning's fun; cold food would be brought along, only open carriages would be used, and everything would be done in the usual manner of a complete day of enjoyment.
To some few of the company it appeared rather a bold undertaking, considering the time of year, and that it had rained every day for the last fortnight; and Mrs. Dashwood, who had already a cold, was persuaded by Elinor to stay at home.
To some members of the group, it seemed like a risky venture, given the time of year and the fact that it had rained every day for the past two weeks; Mrs. Dashwood, who had already caught a cold, was convinced by Elinor to stay home.
CHAPTER XIII
Their intended excursion to Whitwell turned out very different from what Elinor had expected. She was prepared to be wet through, fatigued, and frightened; but the event was still more unfortunate, for they did not go at all.
Their planned trip to Whitwell ended up being completely different from what Elinor had anticipated. She was ready to get soaked, exhausted, and scared; but it turned out to be even worse, because they didn't go at all.
By ten o'clock the whole party was assembled at the park, where they were to breakfast. The morning was rather favourable, though it had rained all night, as the clouds were then dispersing across the sky, and the sun frequently appeared. They were all in high spirits and good humour, eager to be happy, and determined to submit to the greatest inconveniences and hardships rather than be otherwise.
By ten o'clock, the entire group had gathered at the park for breakfast. The morning was looking pretty good, even though it had poured all night, as the clouds were breaking up in the sky and the sun was popping out often. Everyone was in high spirits and good moods, excited to enjoy themselves, and ready to deal with any discomforts and challenges rather than be anything but happy.
While they were at breakfast the letters were brought in. Among the rest there was one for Colonel Brandon:—he took it, looked at the direction, changed colour, and immediately left the room.
While they were having breakfast, the letters were delivered. Among them was one for Colonel Brandon: he took it, glanced at the address, changed color, and quickly left the room.
"What is the matter with Brandon?" said Sir John.
"What’s going on with Brandon?" asked Sir John.
Nobody could tell.
No one could tell.
"I hope he has had no bad news," said Lady Middleton. "It must be something extraordinary that could make Colonel Brandon leave my breakfast table so suddenly."
"I hope he hasn't received any bad news," said Lady Middleton. "It must be something really extraordinary for Colonel Brandon to leave my breakfast table so abruptly."
In about five minutes he returned.
In about five minutes, he came back.
"No bad news, Colonel, I hope;" said Mrs. Jennings, as soon as he entered the room.
"No bad news, Colonel, I hope," said Mrs. Jennings as soon as he walked into the room.
"Was it from Avignon? I hope it is not to say that your sister is worse."
"Was it from Avignon? I hope that doesn’t mean your sister is doing worse."
"No, ma'am. It came from town, and is merely a letter of business."
"No, ma'am. It came from town, and it's just a business letter."
"But how came the hand to discompose you so much, if it was only a letter of business? Come, come, this won't do, Colonel; so let us hear the truth of it."
"But how did the hand bother you so much if it was just a business letter? Come on, Colonel; let's hear the real story."
"My dear madam," said Lady Middleton, "recollect what you are saying."
"My dear lady," Lady Middleton said, "remember what you just said."
"Perhaps it is to tell you that your cousin Fanny is married?" said Mrs. Jennings, without attending to her daughter's reproof.
"Maybe it's to let you know that your cousin Fanny is married?" said Mrs. Jennings, ignoring her daughter's reprimand.
"No, indeed, it is not."
"No, it's not."
"Well, then, I know who it is from, Colonel. And I hope she is well."
"Well, I know who it's from, Colonel. I hope she's doing okay."
"Whom do you mean, ma'am?" said he, colouring a little.
"Who do you mean, ma'am?" he asked, blushing a bit.
"Oh! you know who I mean."
"Oh! you know who I'm talking about."
"I am particularly sorry, ma'am," said he, addressing Lady Middleton, "that I should receive this letter today, for it is on business which requires my immediate attendance in town."
"I’m really sorry, ma'am," he said, speaking to Lady Middleton, "that I got this letter today, because it’s regarding something that needs my immediate attention in town."
"In town!" cried Mrs. Jennings. "What can you have to do in town at this time of year?"
"In town!" shouted Mrs. Jennings. "What could you possibly have to do in town at this time of year?"
"My own loss is great," he continued, "in being obliged to leave so agreeable a party; but I am the more concerned, as I fear my presence is necessary to gain your admittance at Whitwell."
"My own loss is significant," he continued, "having to leave such a pleasant gathering; but I'm even more worried, as I fear my presence is needed to secure your entry at Whitwell."
What a blow upon them all was this!
What a shock this was for all of them!
"But if you write a note to the housekeeper, Mr. Brandon," said Marianne, eagerly, "will it not be sufficient?"
"But if you write a note to the housekeeper, Mr. Brandon," Marianne said eagerly, "won't that be enough?"
He shook his head.
He shook his head.
"We must go," said Sir John. "It shall not be put off when we are so near it. You cannot go to town till tomorrow, Brandon, that is all."
"We have to leave," said Sir John. "We can't delay now that we're so close. You can't go to town until tomorrow, Brandon, that's all."
"I wish it could be so easily settled. But it is not in my power to delay my journey for one day!"
"I wish it could be settled that easily. But I can't postpone my trip for even a day!"
"If you would but let us know what your business is," said Mrs. Jennings, "we might see whether it could be put off or not."
"If you would just let us know what your business is," said Mrs. Jennings, "we might be able to see if it can be postponed or not."
"You would not be six hours later," said Willoughby, "if you were to defer your journey till our return."
"You wouldn't have to wait six hours," Willoughby said, "if you put off your trip until we get back."
Elinor then heard Willoughby say, in a low voice to Marianne, "There are some people who cannot bear a party of pleasure. Brandon is one of them. He was afraid of catching cold I dare say, and invented this trick for getting out of it. I would lay fifty guineas the letter was of his own writing."
Elinor then heard Willoughby say, in a low voice to Marianne, "Some people just can't handle a fun gathering. Brandon is one of them. He's probably worried about getting a cold and came up with this excuse to avoid it. I bet fifty guineas that letter was written by him."
"I have no doubt of it," replied Marianne.
"I’m completely sure of it," replied Marianne.
"There is no persuading you to change your mind, Brandon, I know of old," said Sir John, "when once you are determined on anything. But, however, I hope you will think better of it. Consider, here are the two Miss Careys come over from Newton, the three Miss Dashwoods walked up from the cottage, and Mr. Willoughby got up two hours before his usual time, on purpose to go to Whitwell."
"There’s no convincing you to change your mind, Brandon, as I’ve known for a long time," Sir John said, "once you’ve made up your mind about something. But still, I hope you’ll reconsider. Look, the two Miss Careys came all the way from Newton, the three Miss Dashwoods walked up from the cottage, and Mr. Willoughby got up two hours earlier than usual just to come to Whitwell."
Colonel Brandon again repeated his sorrow at being the cause of disappointing the party; but at the same time declared it to be unavoidable.
Colonel Brandon again expressed his regret for being the reason the group was disappointed; however, he also stated that it was unavoidable.
"Well, then, when will you come back again?"
"Well, when will you come back?"
"I hope we shall see you at Barton," added her ladyship, "as soon as you can conveniently leave town; and we must put off the party to Whitwell till you return."
"I hope we can see you at Barton," added her ladyship, "as soon as you can comfortably leave the city; and we'll have to postpone the party at Whitwell until you get back."
"You are very obliging. But it is so uncertain, when I may have it in my power to return, that I dare not engage for it at all."
"You’re really helpful. But it’s so unpredictable when I might have the chance to come back that I can’t commit to it at all."
"Oh! he must and shall come back," cried Sir John. "If he is not here by the end of the week, I shall go after him."
"Oh! he has to come back," exclaimed Sir John. "If he isn't here by the end of the week, I'll go after him."
"Ay, so do, Sir John," cried Mrs. Jennings, "and then perhaps you may find out what his business is."
"Aye, go ahead, Sir John," exclaimed Mrs. Jennings, "and then maybe you'll discover what he wants."
"I do not want to pry into other men's concerns. I suppose it is something he is ashamed of."
"I don't want to get involved in other people's issues. I guess it's something he's embarrassed about."
Colonel Brandon's horses were announced.
Colonel Brandon's horses arrived.
"You do not go to town on horseback, do you?" added Sir John.
"You don't ride into town on horseback, do you?" added Sir John.
"No. Only to Honiton. I shall then go post."
"No. Just to Honiton. After that, I'll go by mail."
"Well, as you are resolved to go, I wish you a good journey. But you had better change your mind."
"Well, since you've made up your mind to go, I wish you a good trip. But you might want to reconsider."
"I assure you it is not in my power."
"I promise you, I can't do it."
He then took leave of the whole party.
He then said goodbye to everyone.
"Is there no chance of my seeing you and your sisters in town this winter, Miss Dashwood?"
"Will I have any chance to see you and your sisters in town this winter, Miss Dashwood?"
"I am afraid, none at all."
"I'm afraid, not at all."
"Then I must bid you farewell for a longer time than I should wish to do."
"Then I have to say goodbye for longer than I would like."
To Marianne, he merely bowed and said nothing.
To Marianne, he just nodded and said nothing.
"Come Colonel," said Mrs. Jennings, "before you go, do let us know what you are going about."
"Come on, Colonel," said Mrs. Jennings, "before you leave, do let us know what you’re up to."
He wished her a good morning, and, attended by Sir John, left the room.
He told her good morning and, accompanied by Sir John, left the room.
The complaints and lamentations which politeness had hitherto restrained, now burst forth universally; and they all agreed again and again how provoking it was to be so disappointed.
The complaints and sorrows that politeness had previously held back now erupted everywhere; and they all repeatedly agreed how frustrating it was to be so let down.
"I can guess what his business is, however," said Mrs. Jennings exultingly.
"I can guess what his business is, though," said Mrs. Jennings excitedly.
"Can you, ma'am?" said almost every body.
"Can you, ma'am?" nearly everyone asked.
"Yes; it is about Miss Williams, I am sure."
"Yes, it's about Miss Williams, I'm sure."
"And who is Miss Williams?" asked Marianne.
"And who is Miss Williams?" Marianne asked.
"What! do not you know who Miss Williams is? I am sure you must have heard of her before. She is a relation of the Colonel's, my dear; a very near relation. We will not say how near, for fear of shocking the young ladies." Then, lowering her voice a little, she said to Elinor, "She is his natural daughter."
"What! You don’t know who Miss Williams is? I’m sure you must have heard of her before. She’s a relative of the Colonel’s, my dear; a very close relative. We won’t say how close, to avoid shocking the young ladies." Then, lowering her voice a bit, she said to Elinor, "She’s his illegitimate daughter."
"Indeed!"
"Absolutely!"
"Oh, yes; and as like him as she can stare. I dare say the Colonel will leave her all his fortune."
"Oh, absolutely; she looks just like him. I bet the Colonel will leave her his entire fortune."
When Sir John returned, he joined most heartily in the general regret on so unfortunate an event; concluding however by observing, that as they were all got together, they must do something by way of being happy; and after some consultation it was agreed, that although happiness could only be enjoyed at Whitwell, they might procure a tolerable composure of mind by driving about the country. The carriages were then ordered; Willoughby's was first, and Marianne never looked happier than when she got into it. He drove through the park very fast, and they were soon out of sight; and nothing more of them was seen till their return, which did not happen till after the return of all the rest. They both seemed delighted with their drive; but said only in general terms that they had kept in the lanes, while the others went on the downs.
When Sir John came back, he genuinely joined in the overall sadness about the unfortunate event. He concluded by suggesting that since they were all together, they should do something to find happiness. After some discussion, they agreed that while true happiness could only be found at Whitwell, they could achieve a decent peace of mind by driving around the countryside. The carriages were then ordered; Willoughby's was first, and Marianne looked happier than ever as she got in. He drove quickly through the park, and they soon disappeared from view. They weren't seen again until everyone else returned. Both of them seemed thrilled with their drive, but they only mentioned in general that they had stayed on the backroads while the others went on the hills.
It was settled that there should be a dance in the evening,[58] and that every body should be extremely merry all day long. Some more of the Careys came to dinner, and they had the pleasure of sitting down nearly twenty to table, which Sir John observed with great contentment. Willoughby took his usual place between the two elder Miss Dashwoods. Mrs. Jennings sat on Elinor's right hand; and they had not been long seated, before she leant behind her and Willoughby, and said to Marianne, loud enough for them both to hear, "I have found you out in spite of all your tricks. I know where you spent the morning."
It was decided that there would be a dance in the evening,[58] and that everyone should be very cheerful all day long. Some more of the Careys joined them for dinner, and they enjoyed the pleasure of sitting down with nearly twenty people at the table, which Sir John noted with great satisfaction. Willoughby took his usual spot between the two older Miss Dashwoods. Mrs. Jennings sat on Elinor's right, and it wasn't long before she leaned over to Willoughby and said to Marianne, loud enough for both of them to hear, "I've figured you out despite all your tricks. I know where you spent the morning."
Marianne coloured, and replied very hastily, "Where, pray?"
Marianne blushed and quickly responded, "Where, may I ask?"
"Did not you know," said Willoughby, "that we had been out in my curricle?"
"Didn't you know," said Willoughby, "that we had been out in my carriage?"
"Yes, yes, Mr. Impudence, I know that very well, and I was determined to find out where you had been to. I hope you like your house, Miss Marianne. It is a very large one, I know; and when I come to see you, I hope you will have new-furnished it, for it wanted it very much when I was there six years ago."
"Yes, yes, Mr. Impudence, I know that very well, and I was determined to find out where you had been to. I hope you like your house, Miss Marianne. It's quite big, I know, and when I come to see you, I hope you've redecorated it, because it really needed it when I was there six years ago."
Marianne turned away in great confusion. Mrs. Jennings laughed heartily; and Elinor found that in her resolution to know where they had been, she had actually made her own woman enquire of Mr. Willoughby's groom; and that she had by that method been informed that they had gone to Allenham, and spent a considerable time there in walking about the garden and going all over the house.
Marianne turned away, feeling really embarrassed. Mrs. Jennings laughed loudly, and Elinor realized that in her determination to find out where they had been, she had actually made her own woman ask Mr. Willoughby’s groom. Through that, she learned that they had gone to Allenham and had spent quite a while walking around the garden and exploring the house.
Elinor could hardly believe this to be true, as it seemed very unlikely that Willoughby should propose, or Marianne consent, to enter the house while Mrs. Smith was in it, with whom Marianne had not the smallest acquaintance.
Elinor could hardly believe this was true, as it seemed very unlikely that Willoughby would propose, or Marianne agree, to enter the house while Mrs. Smith was there, with whom Marianne had no acquaintance at all.
As soon as they left the dining-room, Elinor enquired of her about it; and great was her surprise when she found that every circumstance related by Mrs. Jennings was perfectly true. Marianne was quite angry with her for doubting it.
As soon as they left the dining room, Elinor asked her about it; and she was very surprised to find that everything Mrs. Jennings said was absolutely true. Marianne was really upset with her for doubting it.
"Why should you imagine, Elinor, that we did not go there, or that we did not see the house? Is not it what you have often wished to do yourself?"
"Why do you think, Elinor, that we didn't go there or that we didn't see the house? Isn't it something you've often wanted to do yourself?"
"Yes, Marianne, but I would not go while Mrs. Smith was there, and with no other companion than Mr. Willoughby."
"Yes, Marianne, but I wouldn’t go while Mrs. Smith was there, and with no one else but Mr. Willoughby."
"Mr. Willoughby however is the only person who can have a right to show that house; and as he went in an open [60]carriage, it was impossible to have any other companion. I never spent a pleasanter morning in my life."
"Mr. Willoughby is the only one who has the right to show that house, and since he arrived in an open [60] carriage, there was no way I could have another companion. I’ve never had a more enjoyable morning in my life."
"I am afraid," replied Elinor, "that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety."
"I’m afraid," Elinor replied, "that just because something is enjoyable doesn't mean it's the right thing to do."
"On the contrary, nothing can be a stronger proof of it, Elinor; for if there had been any real impropriety in what I did, I should have been sensible of it at the time, for we always know when we are acting wrong, and with such a conviction I could have had no pleasure."
"On the contrary, nothing can prove it more, Elinor; because if there had been any real wrongdoing in what I did, I would have felt it at the time. We always know when we're doing something wrong, and with that conviction, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it."
"But, my dear Marianne, as it has already exposed you to some very impertinent remarks, do you not now begin to doubt the discretion of your own conduct?"
"But, my dear Marianne, since it has already exposed you to some very rude comments, don't you now start to question the judgment of your own actions?"
"If the impertinent remarks of Mrs. Jennings are to be the proof of impropriety in conduct, we are all offending every moment of our lives. I value not her censure any more than I should do her commendation. I am not sensible of having done anything wrong in walking over Mrs. Smith's grounds, or in seeing her house. They will one day be Mr. Willoughby's, and—"
"If Mrs. Jennings' rude comments are going to be seen as proof of bad behavior, then we're all in trouble every minute of our lives. I don't care about her criticism any more than I would about her praise. I don't believe I've done anything wrong by walking on Mrs. Smith's property or by looking at her house. One day, it will belong to Mr. Willoughby, and—"
"If they were one day to be your own, Marianne, you would not be justified in what you have done."
"If they ever become yours, Marianne, you won't be justified in what you've done."
She blushed at this hint; but it was even visibly gratifying to her; and after a ten minutes' interval of earnest thought, she came to her sister again, and said with great good humour, "Perhaps, Elinor, it was rather ill-judged in me to go to Allenham; but Mr. Willoughby wanted particularly to show me the place; and it is a charming house, I assure you. There is one remarkably pretty sitting room up stairs; of a nice comfortable size for constant use, and with modern furniture it would be delightful. It is a corner room, and has windows on two sides. On one side you look across the bowling-green, behind the house, to a beautiful hanging wood, and on the other you have a view of the church and village, and, beyond them, of those fine bold hills that we have so often admired. I did not see it to advantage, for nothing could be more forlorn than the furniture; but if it were newly fitted up—a couple of hundred pounds, Willoughby says, would make it one of the pleasantest summer-rooms in England."
She blushed at this suggestion; but it was even visibly pleasing to her; and after ten minutes of serious thought, she returned to her sister and said with great good humor, "Maybe, Elinor, it was a bit unwise of me to visit Allenham; but Mr. Willoughby really wanted to show me the place; and it’s a lovely house, I promise you. There’s one really pretty sitting room upstairs; it’s the perfect size for regular use, and with modern furniture, it would be delightful. It’s a corner room with windows on two sides. On one side, you look out over the bowling green behind the house to a beautiful wooded hillside, and on the other, you can see the church and village, and beyond them, those stunning, bold hills that we’ve admired so often. I didn’t see it at its best, since the furniture was in dreadful condition; but if it were newly furnished—a couple of hundred pounds, Willoughby says, would make it one of the nicest summer rooms in England."
Could Elinor have listened to her without interruption from the others, she would have described every room in the house with equal delight.
Could Elinor have listened to her without interruptions from the others, she would have described every room in the house with the same joy.
CHAPTER XIV
The sudden termination of Colonel Brandon's visit at the park, with his steadiness in concealing its cause, filled the mind, and raised the wonder of Mrs. Jennings for two or three days; she was a great wonderer, as every one must be who takes a very lively interest in all the comings and goings of all their acquaintance. She wondered, with little intermission what could be the reason of it; was sure there must be some bad news, and thought over every kind of distress that could have befallen him, with a fixed determination that he should not escape them all.
The sudden end of Colonel Brandon's visit to the park, along with his ability to hide the reason for it, puzzled and intrigued Mrs. Jennings for a few days. She was a person who loved to speculate, as anyone does who takes a keen interest in the lives of those around them. She couldn't stop wondering what the reason could be; she was convinced there must be some bad news and considered every possible misfortune that could have happened to him, resolutely believing that he couldn't possibly avoid them all.
"Something very melancholy must be the matter, I am sure," said she. "I could see it in his face. Poor man! I am afraid his circumstances may be bad. The estate at Delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. I do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? I wonder whether it is so. I would give anything to know the truth of it. Perhaps it is about Miss Williams and, by the bye, I dare say it is, because he looked so conscious when I mentioned her. May be she is ill in town; nothing in the world more likely, for I have a notion she is always rather sickly. I would lay any wager it is about Miss Williams. It is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances now, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. I wonder what it can be! May be his sister is worse at Avignon, and has sent for him over. His setting off in such a hurry seems very like it. Well, I wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain."
"Something really sad must be going on, I'm sure," she said. "I could see it on his face. Poor guy! I'm afraid his situation might be tough. The estate at Delaford never brought in more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything in a mess. I think he must have been called about financial issues; what else could it be? I wonder if that's the case. I'd give anything to know the truth. Maybe it’s about Miss Williams, and by the way, I bet it is, because he looked so guilty when I mentioned her. She might be sick in town; it's definitely possible since I have a feeling she's often unwell. I would bet anything it’s about Miss Williams. It’s not very likely he’d be worried about his situation right now, because he's a very careful person and surely must have sorted out the estate by now. I wonder what it could be! Maybe his sister is worse in Avignon and has called for him. Him rushing off like that really makes it seem that way. Well, I sincerely hope he gets out of all his trouble and finds a good wife too."
So wondered, so talked Mrs. Jennings. Her opinion varying with every fresh conjecture, and all seeming equally probable as they arose. Elinor, though she felt really interested in the welfare of Colonel Brandon, could not bestow all the wonder on his going so suddenly away, which Mrs. Jennings was desirous of her feeling; for besides that the circumstance did not in her opinion justify such lasting amazement or variety[62] of speculation, her wonder was otherwise disposed of. It was engrossed by the extraordinary silence of her sister and Willoughby on the subject, which they must know to be peculiarly interesting to them all. As this silence continued, every day made it appear more strange and more incompatible with the disposition of both. Why they should not openly acknowledge to her mother and herself, what their constant behaviour to each other declared to have taken place, Elinor could not imagine.
Mrs. Jennings was full of wonder and talked endlessly about it. Her opinion changed with each new theory, all seeming equally likely as they came up. Elinor, while genuinely concerned for Colonel Brandon's well-being, couldn’t share Mrs. Jennings' level of astonishment at his sudden departure because, in her view, the situation didn’t warrant such prolonged surprise or variety of speculation. Her attention was mainly captured by the unusual silence of her sister and Willoughby on the matter, which they must know is particularly relevant to all of them. As this silence dragged on, it seemed more and more odd and less fitting for both of their characters. Elinor couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t openly acknowledge to her mother and herself what their behavior clearly indicated had happened.
She could easily conceive that marriage might not be immediately in their power; for though Willoughby was independent, there was no reason to believe him rich. His estate had been rated by Sir John at about six or seven hundred a year; but he lived at an expense to which that income could hardly be equal, and he had himself often complained of his poverty. But for this strange kind of secrecy maintained by them relative to their engagement, which in fact concealed nothing at all, she could not account; and it was so wholly contradictory to their general opinions and practice, that a doubt sometimes entered her mind of their being really engaged, and this doubt was enough to prevent her making any inquiry of Marianne.
She could easily believe that getting married might not be something they could do right away; even though Willoughby was independent, there was no reason to think he was wealthy. Sir John had estimated his estate to be about six or seven hundred a year, but he spent money in a way that seemed beyond that income, and he had often complained about being short on cash. However, she couldn't understand the strange secrecy surrounding their engagement, which really didn't hide anything at all; it was so completely at odds with their usual views and behavior that she occasionally doubted whether they were truly engaged, and that doubt was enough to stop her from asking Marianne any questions.
Nothing could be more expressive of attachment to them all, than Willoughby's behaviour. To Marianne it had all the distinguishing tenderness which a lover's heart could give, and to the rest of the family it was the affectionate attention of a son and a brother. The cottage seemed to be considered and loved by him as his home; many more of his hours were spent there than at Allenham; and if no general engagement collected them at the park, the exercise which called him out in the morning was almost certain of ending there, where the rest of the day was spent by himself at the side of Marianne, and by his favourite pointer at her feet.
Nothing demonstrated his attachment to them all more than Willoughby’s behavior. To Marianne, he showed all the special tenderness that a lover’s heart could offer, and to the rest of the family, he provided the affectionate attention of a son and brother. He seemed to regard the cottage as his own home, spending many more hours there than at Allenham. If no general gathering had them at the park, his morning exercise almost always ended there, where he spent the rest of the day by Marianne’s side, with his favorite pointer at her feet.
One evening in particular, about a week after Colonel Brandon left the country, his heart seemed more than usually open to every feeling of attachment to the objects around him; and on Mrs. Dashwood's happening to mention her design of improving the cottage in the spring, he warmly opposed every alteration of a place which affection had established as perfect with him.
One evening, about a week after Colonel Brandon left the area, he felt especially open to all feelings of attachment to everything around him. When Mrs. Dashwood casually mentioned her plans to improve the cottage in the spring, he strongly opposed any changes to a place that affection had made perfect for him.
"What!" he exclaimed, "Improve this dear cottage! No. [63]That I will never consent to. Not a stone must be added to its walls, not an inch to its size, if my feelings are regarded."
"What!" he exclaimed, "Renovate this lovely cottage? No. [63]That I will never agree to. Not a single stone should be added to its walls, not a bit of space to its size, if my feelings are to be considered."
"Do not be alarmed," said Miss Dashwood, "nothing of the kind will be done; for my mother will never have money enough to attempt it."
"Don't worry," said Miss Dashwood, "nothing like that will happen; my mother will never have enough money to try."
"I am heartily glad of it," he cried. "May she always be poor, if she can employ her riches no better."
"I'm really glad to hear that," he exclaimed. "Let her always be broke if she can use her wealth no better."
"Thank you, Willoughby. But you may be assured that I would not sacrifice one sentiment of local attachment of yours, or of any one whom I loved, for all the improvements in the world. Depend upon it that whatever unemployed sum may remain, when I make up my accounts in the spring, I would even rather lay it uselessly by than dispose of it in a manner so painful to you. But are you really so attached to this place as to see no defect in it?"
"Thank you, Willoughby. But I want you to know that I wouldn’t give up a single feeling of local attachment you have, or that anyone I care about has, for all the improvements in the world. Believe me, whatever leftover amount I have when I settle my accounts in the spring, I'd rather let it sit unused than spend it in a way that would upset you. But are you really so attached to this place that you don’t see any flaws in it?"
"I am," said he. "To me it is faultless. Nay, more, I consider it as the only form of building in which happiness is attainable, and were I rich enough I would instantly pull Combe down, and build it up again in the exact plan of this cottage."
"I am," he said. "To me, it’s perfect. Moreover, I believe it’s the only type of building that can bring happiness, and if I were rich enough, I would immediately tear Combe down and rebuild it exactly like this cottage."
"With dark narrow stairs and a kitchen that smokes, I suppose," said Elinor.
"With dark, narrow stairs and a kitchen that’s filled with smoke, I guess," said Elinor.
"Yes," cried he in the same eager tone, "with all and every thing belonging to it—in no one convenience or inconvenience about it, should the least variation be perceptible. Then, and then only, under such a roof, I might perhaps be as happy at Combe as I have been at Barton."
"Yes," he exclaimed in the same eager tone, "with everything that comes with it—there shouldn’t be any noticeable change in comfort or discomfort at all. Then, and only then, under such a roof, I might be just as happy at Combe as I have been at Barton."
"I flatter myself," replied Elinor, "that even under the disadvantage of better rooms and a broader staircase, you will hereafter find your own house as faultless as you now do this."
"I like to think," replied Elinor, "that even with the advantage of better rooms and a wider staircase, you will find your own house just as perfect as you do this one."
"There certainly are circumstances," said Willoughby, "which might greatly endear it to me; but this place will always have one claim of my affection, which no other can possibly share."
"There are definitely situations," said Willoughby, "that could make me really cherish it; but this place will always hold a unique spot in my heart that nothing else can take."
Mrs. Dashwood looked with pleasure at Marianne, whose fine eyes were fixed so expressively on Willoughby, as plainly denoted how well she understood him.
Mrs. Dashwood looked with pleasure at Marianne, whose beautiful eyes were focused so expressively on Willoughby, clearly showing how well she understood him.
"How often did I wish," added he, "when I was at Allenham this time twelvemonth, that Barton cottage were inhabited! I never passed within view of it without admiring its situation, and grieving that no one should live in it. How[64] little did I then think that the very first news I should hear from Mrs. Smith, when I next came into the country, would be that Barton cottage was taken: and I felt an immediate satisfaction and interest in the event, which nothing but a kind of prescience of what happiness I should experience from it, can account for. Must it not have been so, Marianne?" speaking to her in a lowered voice. Then continuing his former tone, he said, "And yet this house you would spoil, Mrs. Dashwood? You would rob it of its simplicity by imaginary improvement! and this dear parlour in which our acquaintance first began, and in which so many happy hours have been since spent by us together, you would degrade to the condition of a common entrance, and every body would be eager to pass through the room which has hitherto contained within itself more real accommodation and comfort than any other apartment of the handsomest dimensions in the world could possibly afford."
"How often did I wish," he added, "when I was at Allenham this time last year, that Barton Cottage were occupied! I never walked by it without admiring its location and feeling sad that no one lived there. How[64] little did I think then that the very first news I’d hear from Mrs. Smith when I next came to the area would be that Barton Cottage was rented: and I felt an immediate satisfaction and interest in this news, which can only be explained by a sort of instinct about the happiness I would gain from it. Must it not have been so, Marianne?" he asked her quietly. Then continuing in his previous tone, he said, "And yet you would ruin this house, Mrs. Dashwood? You would strip it of its simplicity with imaginary improvements! And this lovely parlor where our friendship began and where we’ve spent so many happy hours together—you would turn it into just a common entryway, and everyone would rush through the room that has always offered more real comfort and warmth than any other grand space in the world could possibly provide."
Mrs. Dashwood again assured him that no alteration of the kind should be attempted.
Mrs. Dashwood assured him once more that no changes of that kind would be attempted.
"You are a good woman," he warmly replied. "Your promise makes me easy. Extend it a little farther, and it will make me happy. Tell me that not only your house will remain the same, but that I shall ever find you and yours as unchanged as your dwelling; and that you will always consider me with the kindness which has made everything belonging to you so dear to me."
"You are a wonderful woman," he replied warmly. "Your promise puts me at ease. Stretch it a little further, and it will make me happy. Tell me that not only will your home stay the same, but that I will always find you and your family just as unchanged as your house; and that you will continue to regard me with the kindness that has made everything connected to you so precious to me."
The promise was readily given, and Willoughby's behaviour during the whole of the evening declared at once his affection and happiness.
The promise was quickly made, and Willoughby's behavior throughout the whole evening showed both his love and joy.
"Shall we see you tomorrow to dinner?" said Mrs. Dashwood, when he was leaving them. "I do not ask you to come in the morning, for we must walk to the park, to call on Lady Middleton."
"Will we see you for dinner tomorrow?" Mrs. Dashwood asked as he was leaving. "I'm not asking you to come in the morning because we need to walk to the park to visit Lady Middleton."
He engaged to be with them by four o'clock.
He agreed to meet them by four o'clock.
CHAPTER XV
Mrs. Dashwood's visit to Lady Middleton took place the next day, and two of her daughters went with her; but Marianne excused herself from being of the party, under some trifling pretext of employment; and her mother, who concluded that a promise had been made by Willoughby the night before of calling on her while they were absent, was perfectly satisfied with her remaining at home.
Mrs. Dashwood visited Lady Middleton the next day, and two of her daughters went with her; however, Marianne opted out of joining them, giving a minor excuse about being busy. Her mother, believing that Willoughby had promised to stop by while they were gone, was completely fine with Marianne staying home.
On their return from the park they found Willoughby's curricle and servant in waiting at the cottage, and Mrs. Dashwood was convinced that her conjecture had been just. So far it was all as she had foreseen; but on entering the house she beheld what no foresight had taught her to expect. They were no sooner in the passage than Marianne came hastily out of the parlour apparently in violent affliction, with her handkerchief at her eyes; and without noticing them ran up stairs. Surprised and alarmed they proceeded directly into the room she had just quitted, where they found only Willoughby, who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his back towards them. He turned round on their coming in, and his countenance showed that he strongly partook of the emotion which overpowered Marianne.
On their way back from the park, they found Willoughby's carriage and servant waiting at the cottage, and Mrs. Dashwood was sure that her guess had been right. So far, everything was as she had predicted; but when they entered the house, they saw something she never could have anticipated. As soon as they entered the hallway, Marianne rushed out of the parlor, clearly in distress, with a handkerchief covering her eyes. Without acknowledging them, she ran upstairs. Surprised and concerned, they went straight into the room she had just left, where they found only Willoughby, who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his back to them. He turned around when they walked in, and his face showed that he was deeply affected by the same emotions that overwhelmed Marianne.
"Is anything the matter with her?" cried Mrs. Dashwood as she entered:—"is she ill?"
"Is something wrong with her?" cried Mrs. Dashwood as she entered. "Is she sick?"
"I hope not," he replied, trying to look cheerful; and with a forced smile presently added, "It is I who may rather expect to be ill—for I am now suffering under a very heavy disappointment!"
"I hope not," he said, trying to appear cheerful; and with a forced smile, he added, "It’s me who might actually expect to be unwell—because I’m currently dealing with a really big disappointment!"
"Disappointment?"
"Disappointed?"
"Yes, for I am unable to keep my engagement with you. Mrs. Smith has this morning exercised the privilege of riches upon a poor dependent cousin, by sending me on business to London. I have just received my dispatches, and taken my farewell of Allenham; and by way of exhilaration I am now come to take my farewell of you."
"Yes, I can't keep our meeting. Mrs. Smith has used her wealth this morning to send me on an errand to London for a struggling cousin. I've just got my instructions and said goodbye to Allenham; and to lift my spirits, I'm here to say goodbye to you."
"To London!—and are you going this morning?"
"To London! Are you heading there this morning?"
"Almost this moment."
"Right now."
"This is very unfortunate. But Mrs. Smith must be obliged, and her business will not detain you from us long I hope."
"This is really unfortunate. But Mrs. Smith has to manage her obligations, and I hope her business won't keep her from us for too long."
He coloured as he replied, "You are very kind, but I have no idea of returning into Devonshire immediately. My visits to Mrs. Smith are never repeated within the twelvemonth."
He blushed as he answered, "You're very kind, but I have no plans to go back to Devonshire anytime soon. I don't visit Mrs. Smith more than once a year."
"And is Mrs. Smith your only friend? Is Allenham the only house in the neighbourhood to which you will be welcome? For shame, Willoughby, can you wait for an invitation here?"
"And is Mrs. Smith your only friend? Is Allenham the only house nearby where you’ll be welcomed? Come on, Willoughby, can you really hold out for an invitation here?"
His colour increased; and with his eyes fixed on the ground he only replied, "You are too good."
His face flushed, and with his eyes on the ground, he simply replied, "You're too kind."
Mrs. Dashwood looked at Elinor with surprise. Elinor felt equal amazement. For a few moments every one was silent. Mrs. Dashwood first spoke.
Mrs. Dashwood looked at Elinor in surprise. Elinor felt just as astonished. For a few moments, everyone was quiet. Mrs. Dashwood spoke first.
"I have only to add, my dear Willoughby, that at Barton cottage you will always be welcome; for I will not press you to return here immediately, because you only can judge how far that might be pleasing to Mrs. Smith; and on this head I shall be no more disposed to question your judgment than to doubt your inclination."
"I just want to add, my dear Willoughby, that you will always be welcome at Barton Cottage; I'm not going to urge you to come back here right away, because only you can know how much that would please Mrs. Smith. In this regard, I won’t question your judgment any more than I would doubt your desire."
"My engagements at present," replied Willoughby, confusedly, "are of such a nature—that—I dare not flatter myself—"
"My current commitments," replied Willoughby, feeling confused, "are such that—I can't allow myself to hope—"
He stopped. Mrs. Dashwood was too much astonished to speak, and another pause succeeded. This was broken by Willoughby, who said with a faint smile, "It is folly to linger in this manner. I will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible for me now to enjoy."
He stopped. Mrs. Dashwood was too shocked to say anything, and there was another pause. Willoughby broke the silence with a slight smile, saying, "It's pointless to hang around like this. I can't torture myself any longer by being with friends whose company I can't enjoy right now."
He then hastily took leave of them all and left the room. They saw him step into his carriage, and in a minute it was out of sight.
He quickly said goodbye to everyone and left the room. They watched him get into his carriage, and within a minute, it was gone.
Mrs. Dashwood felt too much for speech, and instantly quitted the parlour to give way in solitude to the concern and alarm which this sudden departure occasioned.
Mrs. Dashwood was overwhelmed with emotion and quickly left the living room to privately deal with the worry and fear that this sudden departure caused.
Elinor's uneasiness was at least equal to her mother's. She thought of what had just passed with anxiety and distrust. Willoughby's behaviour in taking leave of them, his embarrassment, and affectation of cheerfulness, and, above all, his unwillingness to accept her mother's invitation—a backwardness[68] so unlike a lover, so unlike himself—greatly disturbed her. One moment she feared that no serious design had ever been formed on his side; and the next that some unfortunate quarrel had taken place between him and her sister. The distress in which Marianne had quitted the room was such as a serious quarrel could most reasonably account for, though when she considered what Marianne's love for him was, a quarrel seemed almost impossible.
Elinor's unease matched her mother's. She thought about what had just happened with anxiety and distrust. Willoughby's behavior when he said goodbye, his awkwardness and forced cheerfulness, and especially his refusal to accept her mother's invitation—his reluctance[68] was so unlike a lover, so uncharacteristic of him—greatly troubled her. One moment she worried that he never had any serious intentions; the next, she feared some unfortunate fight had occurred between him and her sister. The distress with which Marianne left the room could easily be explained by a serious argument, yet when she thought about how deeply Marianne loved him, a conflict seemed almost impossible.
But whatever might be the particulars of their separation, her sister's affliction was indubitable; and she thought with the tenderest compassion of that violent sorrow which Marianne was in all probability not merely giving way to as a relief, but feeding and encouraging as a duty.
But no matter the details of their separation, her sister was undeniably in pain; and she felt the deepest compassion for that intense sorrow that Marianne was likely not just surrendering to as a way to cope, but actively nurturing and encouraging as if it were her responsibility.
In about half an hour her mother returned, and though her eyes were red, her countenance was not uncheerful.
In about half an hour, her mom came back, and even though her eyes were red, her expression wasn't sad.
"Our dear Willoughby is now some miles from Barton, Elinor," said she, as she sat down to work, "and with how heavy a heart does he travel?"
"Our dear Willoughby is now quite a distance from Barton, Elinor," she said, sitting down to work, "and how heavy-hearted he must be!"
"It is all very strange. So suddenly to be gone! It seems but the work of a moment. And last night he was with us so happy, so cheerful, so affectionate? And now, after only ten minutes notice,—gone too without intending to return! Something more than what he owned to us must have happened. He did not speak, he did not behave like himself. You must have seen the difference as well as I. What can it be? Can they have quarrelled? Why else should he have shown such unwillingness to accept your invitation here?"
"It's all very strange. To be gone so suddenly! It feels like it happened in a blink. Just last night, he was here with us, so happy, so cheerful, so affectionate. And now, after only ten minutes' notice—he's gone without any intention of coming back! Something more than what he told us must have happened. He didn’t talk, he didn’t act like himself. You must have noticed the difference just like I did. What could it be? Could they have had a fight? Why else would he have been so reluctant to accept your invitation here?"
"It was not inclination that he wanted, Elinor; I could plainly see that. He had not the power of accepting it. I have thought it all over I assure you, and I can perfectly account for every thing that at first seemed strange to me as well as to you."
"It wasn't desire that he wanted, Elinor; I could clearly see that. He didn't have the ability to accept it. I've thought it all through, I promise you, and I can completely explain everything that initially seemed strange to both you and me."
"Can you, indeed!"
"Can you, really!"
"Yes. I have explained it to myself in the most satisfactory way; but you, Elinor, who love to doubt where you can—it will not satisfy you, I know; but you shall not talk me out of my trust in it. I am persuaded that Mrs. Smith suspects his regard for Marianne, disapproves of it, (perhaps because she has other views for him,) and on that account is eager to get him away; and that the business which she sends him off to transact is invented as an excuse to dismiss[69] him. This is what I believe to have happened. He is, moreover, aware that she does disapprove the connection, he dares not therefore at present confess to her his engagement with Marianne, and he feels himself obliged, from his dependent situation, to give into her schemes, and absent himself from Devonshire for a while. You will tell me, I know, that this may or may not have happened; but I will listen to no cavil, unless you can point out any other method of understanding the affair as satisfactory at this. And now, Elinor, what have you to say?"
"Yes. I’ve reassured myself about this in the best way possible; but you, Elinor, who enjoy questioning everything you can—it won’t convince you, I know; but you won’t talk me out of my faith in it. I believe that Mrs. Smith suspects his feelings for Marianne, disapproves of them (maybe because she has other plans for him), and for that reason is eager to get him away; and that the task she sends him off to do is just an excuse to send him away. This is what I think happened. He also knows that she disapproves of the connection, and therefore he can’t admit his engagement to her just now. He feels he has to give in to her plans, given his dependent situation, and stay away from Devonshire for a while. You’ll tell me, I know, that this may or may not have happened; but I won’t entertain any arguments unless you can suggest a better way to make sense of this situation. And now, Elinor, what do you have to say?"
"Nothing, for you have anticipated my answer."
"Nothing, because you already knew my answer."
"Then you would have told me, that it might or might not have happened. Oh, Elinor, how incomprehensible are your feelings! You had rather take evil upon credit than good. You had rather look out for misery for Marianne, and guilt for poor Willoughby, than an apology for the latter. You are resolved to think him blamable, because he took leave of us with less affection than his usual behaviour has shown. And is no allowance to be made for inadvertence, or for spirits depressed by recent disappointment? Are no probabilities to be accepted, merely because they are not certainties? Is nothing due to the man whom we have all such reason to love, and no reason in the world to think ill of?—to the possibility of motives unanswerable in themselves, though unavoidably secret for a while? And, after all, what is it you suspect him of?"
"Then you would have told me that it might or might not have happened. Oh, Elinor, your feelings are so hard to understand! You would rather assume the worst than believe the best. You’d rather look for trouble for Marianne and blame for poor Willoughby than accept an apology from him. You’re determined to think he’s at fault because he said goodbye with less warmth than usual. And can we not make allowances for being caught off guard, or for feelings that are low after a recent letdown? Can we not consider possibilities just because they aren’t certainties? Is nothing owed to the man we all have so many reasons to love and no reason at all to think poorly of?—to the possibility of motives that are valid in themselves, even if they have to stay hidden for a while? And after all, what exactly do you suspect him of?"
"I can hardly tell myself. But suspicion of something unpleasant is the inevitable consequence of such an alteration as we just witnessed in him. There is great truth, however, in what you have now urged of the allowances which ought to be made for him, and it is my wish to be candid in my judgment of every body. Willoughby may undoubtedly have very sufficient reasons for his conduct, and I will hope that he has. But it would have been more like Willoughby to acknowledge them at once. Secrecy may be advisable; but still I cannot help wondering at its being practiced by him."
"I can hardly say. But suspicion of something unpleasant is the inevitable result of the change we just saw in him. However, there is a lot of truth in what you just said about the allowances we should make for him, and I want to be honest in my judgment of everyone. Willoughby may very well have good reasons for his behavior, and I hope he does. But it would have been more like Willoughby to acknowledge them right away. Keeping things secret might be wise; still, I can't help but wonder why he's doing it."
"Do not blame him, however, for departing from his character, where the deviation is necessary. But you really do admit the justice of what I have said in his defence?—I am happy—and he is acquitted."[70]
"Don't fault him, though, for straying from his character when it's needed. But you do agree that what I've said in his defense is fair, right?—I'm glad—and he's cleared."[70]
"Not entirely. It may be proper to conceal their engagement (if they are engaged) from Mrs. Smith; and if that is the case, it must be highly expedient for Willoughby to be but little in Devonshire at present. But this is no excuse for their concealing it from us."
"Not completely. It might be appropriate to keep their engagement (if they’re engaged) a secret from Mrs. Smith; and if that’s the situation, it’s definitely best for Willoughby to spend very little time in Devonshire right now. But that’s no reason for them to hide it from us."
"Concealing it from us! my dear child, do you accuse Willoughby and Marianne of concealment? This is strange indeed, when your eyes have been reproaching them every day for incautiousness."
"Concealing it from us! My dear child, are you accusing Willoughby and Marianne of hiding things? This is quite strange, considering your eyes have been scolding them every day for being careless."
"I want no proof of their affection," said Elinor; "but of their engagement I do."
"I don't want any proof of their affection," Elinor said, "but I do want proof of their engagement."
"I am perfectly satisfied of both."
"I am completely satisfied with both."
"Yet not a syllable has been said to you on the subject, by either of them."
"Yet neither of them has said a word to you about it."
"I have not wanted syllables where actions have spoken so plainly. Has not his behaviour to Marianne and to all of us, for at least the last fortnight, declared that he loved and considered her as his future wife, and that he felt for us the attachment of the nearest relation? Have we not perfectly understood each other? Has not my consent been daily asked by his looks, his manner, his attentive and affectionate respect? My Elinor, is it possible to doubt their engagement? How could such a thought occur to you? How is it to be supposed that Willoughby, persuaded as he must be of your sister's love, should leave her, and leave her perhaps for months, without telling her of his affection,—that they should part without a mutual exchange of confidence?"
"I haven't needed words where actions have been so clear. Hasn't his behavior towards Marianne and all of us over the last two weeks shown that he loves her and sees her as his future wife, and that he feels a close bond with us? Haven't we completely understood each other? Hasn't he been asking for my permission every day through his looks, his attitude, and his attentive, caring respect? My Elinor, is it really possible to doubt their engagement? How could you even think that? How could it be that Willoughby, knowing how much your sister loves him, could leave her—potentially for months—without expressing his feelings, that they could part without sharing their thoughts with each other?"
"I confess," replied Elinor, "that every circumstance except one is in favour of their engagement; but that one is the total silence of both on the subject, and with me it almost outweighs every other."
"I admit," replied Elinor, "that every factor except one supports their engagement; but that one is their complete silence on the topic, and for me, it nearly outweighs everything else."
"How strange this is! You must think wretchedly indeed of Willoughby, if, after all that has openly passed between them, you can doubt the nature of the terms on which they are together. Has he been acting a part in his behaviour to your sister all this time? Do you suppose him really indifferent to her?"
"How strange this is! You must think really poorly of Willoughby if, after everything that has happened between them, you can doubt what their relationship is really about. Has he been pretending in the way he's treated your sister all along? Do you really think he doesn’t care about her?"
"No, I cannot think that. He must and does love her I am sure."
"No, I can't believe that. He must love her, and I’m sure he does."
"But with a strange kind of tenderness, if he can leave her with such indifference, such carelessness of the future, as you attribute to him."
"But with a strange kind of tenderness, if he can leave her with such indifference, such carelessness about the future, as you say he does."
"You must remember, my dear mother, that I have never considered this matter as certain. I have had my doubts, I confess; but they are fainter than they were, and they may soon be entirely done away. If we find they correspond, every fear of mine will be removed."
"You need to remember, my dear mom, that I've never seen this as a sure thing. I have had my doubts, I admit; but they're less intense than they used to be, and they might soon disappear completely. If we discover that they match up, all my fears will be gone."
"A mighty concession indeed! If you were to see them at the altar, you would suppose they were going to be married. Ungracious girl! But I require no such proof. Nothing in my opinion has ever passed to justify doubt; no secrecy has been attempted; all has been uniformly open and unreserved. You cannot doubt your sister's wishes. It must be Willoughby therefore whom you suspect. But why? Is he not a man of honour and feeling? Has there been any inconsistency on his side to create alarm? can he be deceitful?"
"A huge concession indeed! If you saw them at the altar, you'd think they were about to get married. Ungracious girl! But I don't need any proof like that. In my opinion, nothing has happened to warrant doubt; there’s been no secrecy; everything has been completely open and honest. You can’t doubt your sister’s feelings. So it must be Willoughby that you're suspicious of. But why? Isn’t he a man of honor and feeling? Has he done anything inconsistent to raise concerns? Can he really be deceitful?"
"I hope not, I believe not," cried Elinor. "I love Willoughby, sincerely love him; and suspicion of his integrity cannot be more painful to yourself than to me. It has been involuntary, and I will not encourage it. I was startled, I confess, by the alteration in his manners this morning; he did not speak like himself, and did not return your kindness with any cordiality. But all this may be explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed. He had just parted from my sister, had seen her leave him in the greatest affliction; and if he felt obliged, from a fear of offending Mrs. Smith, to resist the temptation of returning here soon, and yet aware that by declining your invitation, by saying that he was going away for some time, he should seem to act an ungenerous, a suspicious part by our family, he might well be embarrassed and disturbed. In such a case, a plain and open avowal of his difficulties would have been more to his honour I think, as well as more consistent with his general character;—but I will not raise objections against any one's conduct on so illiberal a foundation, as a difference in judgment from myself, or a deviation from what I may think right and consistent."
"I hope not, I don't believe so," Elinor exclaimed. "I truly love Willoughby; and questioning his honesty can't be more painful for you than it is for me. It’s been unintentional on my part, and I won’t encourage it. I was surprised, I admit, by how he acted this morning; he didn’t speak like himself and didn’t respond to your kindness with any warmth. But all of this can be explained by the situation he’s in, as you’ve suggested. He had just said goodbye to my sister and witnessed her leave in deep distress; if he felt he had to hold back from coming here soon out of concern for offending Mrs. Smith, yet realized that by turning down your invitation and saying he was leaving for a while, he’d appear unkind or suspicious to our family, he must have felt quite awkward and upset. In that situation, I think a straightforward admission of his difficulties would have been more honorable for him and more in line with his character; but I won’t criticize anyone’s actions based on something as narrow-minded as having a different opinion than mine or deviating from what I consider right and consistent."
"You speak very properly. Willoughby certainly does not deserve to be suspected. Though we have not known him long, he is no stranger in this part of the world; and who has ever spoken to his disadvantage? Had he been in a situation to act independently and marry immediately, it might have been odd that he should leave us without[72] acknowledging everything to me at once: but this is not the case. It is an engagement in some respects not prosperously begun, for their marriage must be at a very uncertain distance; and even secrecy, as far as it can be observed, may now be very advisable."
"You speak very well. Willoughby definitely doesn’t deserve to be suspected. Even though we haven't known him for long, he’s not a stranger around here; and who has ever said anything bad about him? If he were in a position to act independently and marry right away, it would have been strange for him to leave us without[72] telling me everything at once: but that's not the case. It's an engagement that hasn’t started off very well, since their marriage is still quite uncertain; and even keeping it secret, as much as possible, might be a good idea right now."
They were interrupted by the entrance of Margaret; and Elinor was then at liberty to think over the representations of her mother, to acknowledge the probability of many, and hope for the justice of all.
They were interrupted by Margaret's arrival; and Elinor was then free to reflect on her mother's insights, to recognize the likelihood of many, and to hope for the fairness of all.
They saw nothing of Marianne till dinner time, when she entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a word. Her eyes were red and swollen; and it seemed as if her tears were even then restrained with difficulty. She avoided the looks of them all, could neither eat nor speak, and after some time, on her mother's silently pressing her hand with tender compassion, her small degree of fortitude was quite overcome, she burst into tears and left the room.
They didn’t see Marianne at all until dinner, when she walked into the room and sat down at the table without saying anything. Her eyes were red and puffy, and it looked like she was still trying hard to hold back her tears. She avoided everyone’s gaze, couldn’t eat or talk, and after a while, when her mother gently squeezed her hand with caring sympathy, her little bit of strength completely disappeared, and she broke down in tears and left the room.
This violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening. She was without any power, because she was without any desire of command over herself. The slightest mention of anything relative to Willoughby overpowered her in an instant; and though her family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort, it was impossible for them, if they spoke at all, to keep clear of every subject which her feelings connected with him.
This intense oppression of her emotions lasted all evening. She felt completely powerless because she had no desire to take control of herself. Even a casual mention of anything related to Willoughby overwhelmed her instantly; and even though her family was very concerned about her well-being, it was impossible for them to talk about anything without bringing up subjects that reminded her of him.
CHAPTER XVI
Marianne would have thought herself very inexcusable had she been able to sleep at all the first night after parting from Willoughby. She would have been ashamed to look her family in the face the next morning, had she not risen from her bed in more need of repose than when she lay down in it. But the feelings which made such composure a disgrace, left her in no danger of incurring it. She was awake the whole night, and she wept the greatest part of it. She got up with a headache, was unable to talk, and unwilling to take any nourishment; giving pain every moment to her mother and[73] sisters, and forbidding all attempt at consolation from either. Her sensibility was potent enough!
Marianne would have found it completely inexcusable if she could have slept at all the first night after saying goodbye to Willoughby. She would have been embarrassed to face her family the next morning if she hadn’t gotten out of bed feeling more exhausted than when she lay down. But the emotions that made such calmness shameful left her no risk of encountering it. She stayed awake all night, and she spent most of it crying. She woke up with a headache, couldn't talk, and didn’t want to eat, causing her mother and[73] sisters constant worry and rejecting any attempts at comfort from them. Her sensitivity was strong enough!
When breakfast was over she walked out by herself, and wandered about the village of Allenham, indulging the recollection of past enjoyment and crying over the present reverse for the chief of the morning.
When breakfast was done, she stepped out alone and strolled around the village of Allenham, reliving happy memories and lamenting the current misfortunes of the morning.
The evening passed off in the equal indulgence of feeling. She played over every favourite song that she had been used to play to Willoughby, every air in which their voices had been oftenest joined, and sat at the instrument gazing on every line of music that he had written out for her, till her heart was so heavy that no farther sadness could be gained; and this nourishment of grief was every day applied. She spent whole hours at the pianoforte alternately singing and crying; her voice often totally suspended by her tears. In books too, as well as in music, she courted the misery which a contrast between the past and present was certain of giving. She read nothing but what they had been used to read together.
The evening went by in the same indulgence of emotions. She played all her favorite songs that she used to play for Willoughby, every tune where they had often sung together, and sat at the piano looking at every piece of sheet music he had written for her, until her heart felt so heavy that she couldn't bear any more sadness; and this feeding of her grief happened every day. She spent hours at the piano, alternating between singing and crying, her voice often completely stopped by her tears. In books, as well as in music, she sought out the misery that the contrast between her past and present was sure to bring. She read only what they had enjoyed reading together.
Such violence of affliction indeed could not be supported for ever; it sunk within a few days into a calmer melancholy; but these employments, to which she daily recurred, her solitary walks and silent meditations, still produced occasional effusions of sorrow as lively as ever.
Such overwhelming pain couldn’t last forever; it faded into a quieter sadness after a few days. But the activities she turned to daily—her solitary walks and quiet reflections—still brought about bursts of sorrow that were just as intense as before.
No letter from Willoughby came; and none seemed expected by Marianne. Her mother was surprised, and Elinor again became uneasy. But Mrs. Dashwood could find explanations whenever she wanted them, which at least satisfied herself.
No letter from Willoughby arrived, and none seemed anticipated by Marianne. Her mother was surprised, and Elinor grew uneasy again. But Mrs. Dashwood could always come up with explanations whenever she needed them, which at least reassured her.
"Remember, Elinor," said she, "how very often Sir John fetches our letters himself from the post, and carries them to it. We have already agreed that secrecy may be necessary, and we must acknowledge that it could not be maintained if their correspondence were to pass through Sir John's hands."
"Remember, Elinor," she said, "how often Sir John personally picks up our letters from the post and brings them to us. We’ve already agreed that we might need to keep things discreet, and we have to admit that we couldn’t keep it a secret if their correspondence went through Sir John."
Elinor could not deny the truth of this, and she tried to find in it a motive sufficient for their silence. But there was one method so direct, so simple, and in her opinion so eligible of knowing the real state of the affair, and of instantly removing all mystery, that she could not help suggesting it to her mother.[74]
Elinor couldn't deny the truth of this, and she tried to find a good reason for their silence. However, there was one method that was so straightforward, so simple, and in her view, so suitable for figuring out the real situation and quickly clearing up any confusion, that she couldn't help but bring it up to her mother.[74]
"Why do you not ask Marianne at once," said she, "whether she is or she is not engaged to Willoughby? From you, her mother, and so kind, so indulgent a mother, the question could not give offence. It would be the natural result of your affection for her. She used to be all unreserve, and to you more especially."
"Why don't you just ask Marianne right away," she said, "if she’s engaged to Willoughby or not? Coming from you, her mother, who is so kind and understanding, the question wouldn't be offensive at all. It would be a natural expression of your love for her. She used to be completely open with you, especially."
"I would not ask such a question for the world. Supposing it possible that they are not engaged, what distress would not such an enquiry inflict! At any rate it would be most ungenerous. I should never deserve her confidence again, after forcing from her a confession of what is meant at present to be unacknowledged to any one. I know Marianne's heart: I know that she dearly loves me, and that I shall not be the last to whom the affair is made known, when circumstances make the revealment of it eligible. I would not attempt to force the confidence of any one; of a child much less; because a sense of duty would prevent the denial which her wishes might direct."
"I would never ask such a question, not for anything. If there's even a chance they aren't together, what distress would such a question cause! Either way, it would be really inconsiderate. I could never earn her trust again after pressuring her into admitting something that's meant to stay private for now. I know Marianne's heart; I know she loves me deeply, and I won't be the last to know when the time is right for it to be revealed. I wouldn't try to force anyone to confide in me, especially not a child, because a sense of responsibility would stop them from denying what their wishes might lead them to feel."
Elinor thought this generosity overstrained, considering her sister's youth, and urged the matter farther, but in vain; common sense, common care, common prudence, were all sunk in Mrs. Dashwood's romantic delicacy.
Elinor thought this generosity was excessive, given her sister's youth, and pressed the issue further, but it was useless; common sense, common concern, and common caution were all lost on Mrs. Dashwood's romantic idealism.
It was several days before Willoughby's name was mentioned before Marianne by any of her family; Sir John and Mrs. Jennings, indeed, were not so nice; their witticisms added pain to many a painful hour; but one evening, Mrs. Dashwood, accidentally taking up a volume of Shakespeare, exclaimed—
It was several days before anyone in Marianne's family mentioned Willoughby's name to her; Sir John and Mrs. Jennings weren't as considerate; their jokes added to her suffering during many painful hours. One evening, Mrs. Dashwood accidentally picked up a volume of Shakespeare and exclaimed—
"We have never finished Hamlet, Marianne; our dear Willoughby went away before we could get through it. We will put it by, that when he comes again—; But it may be months, perhaps, before that happens."
"We never finished Hamlet, Marianne; our dear Willoughby left before we could get through it. We'll set it aside, so when he comes back—; but it might be months, maybe, before that happens."
"Months!" cried Marianne, with strong surprise. "No—nor many weeks."
"Months!" Marianne exclaimed, shocked. "No—definitely not even weeks."
Mrs. Dashwood was sorry for what she had said; but it gave Elinor pleasure, as it produced a reply from Marianne so expressive of confidence in Willoughby and knowledge of his intentions.
Mrs. Dashwood regretted what she had said; however, it pleased Elinor, as it prompted a response from Marianne that showed her confidence in Willoughby and her awareness of his intentions.
One morning, about a week after his leaving the country, Marianne was prevailed on to join her sisters in their usual walk, instead of wandering away by herself. Hitherto she[75] had carefully avoided every companion in her rambles. If her sisters intended to walk on the downs, she directly stole away towards the lanes; if they talked of the valley, she was as speedy in climbing the hills, and could never be found when the others set off. But at length she was secured by the exertions of Elinor, who greatly disapproved such continual seclusion. They walked along the road through the valley, and chiefly in silence, for Marianne's mind could not be controlled, and Elinor, satisfied with gaining one point, would not then attempt more. Beyond the entrance of the valley, where the country, though still rich, was less wild and more open, a long stretch of the road which they had travelled on first coming to Barton, lay before them; and on reaching that point, they stopped to look around them, and examine a prospect which formed the distance of their view from the cottage, from a spot which they had never happened to reach in any of their walks before.
One morning, about a week after he left the country, Marianne was persuaded to join her sisters on their usual walk instead of wandering off alone. Until then, she had deliberately avoided any company during her strolls. If her sisters planned to walk on the downs, she'd sneak off toward the lanes; if they talked about the valley, she would quickly head up the hills and could never be found when they set out. But eventually, Elinor managed to keep her company, as she strongly disapproved of Marianne's constant isolation. They walked along the road through the valley, mostly in silence, since Marianne's thoughts were too restless to be contained, and Elinor, pleased with this small victory, didn't push for more. Beyond the entrance of the valley, where the countryside was still lush but less wild and more open, a long stretch of road they had traveled when they first arrived in Barton lay before them; when they reached that spot, they stopped to take in the view and examine a perspective they had never encountered in any of their previous walks.
Amongst the objects in the scene, they soon discovered an animated one; it was a man on horseback riding towards them. In a few minutes they could distinguish him to be a gentleman; and in a moment afterwards Marianne rapturously exclaimed—
Among the objects in the scene, they quickly noticed a moving one; it was a man on horseback riding toward them. In a few minutes, they could make out that he was a gentleman; and a moment later, Marianne excitedly exclaimed—
"It is he; it is indeed—I know it is!" and was hastening to meet him, when Elinor cried out—
"It’s him; I know it is!" and she was rushing to meet him when Elinor shouted—
"Indeed, Marianne, I think you are mistaken. It is not Willoughby. The person is not tall enough for him, and has not his air."
"Actually, Marianne, I think you're wrong. It's not Willoughby. This person isn’t tall enough to be him and doesn’t have his presence."
"He has, he has," cried Marianne, "I am sure he has. His air, his coat, his horse. I knew how soon he would come."
"He has, he has," Marianne exclaimed, "I’m sure he has. The way he carries himself, his coat, his horse. I knew he would arrive soon."
She walked eagerly on as she spoke; and Elinor, to screen Marianne from particularity, as she felt almost certain of its not being Willoughby, quickened her pace and kept up with her. They were soon within thirty yards of the gentleman. Marianne looked again; her heart sunk within her; and abruptly turning round, she was hurrying back, when the voices of both her sisters were raised to detain her; a third, almost as well known as Willoughby's, joined them in begging her to stop, and she turned round with surprise to see and welcome Edward Ferrars.
She walked ahead excitedly as she spoke, and Elinor, wanting to protect Marianne from any specific mention, as she was fairly sure it wasn't Willoughby, picked up her pace to keep up with her. They were soon within thirty yards of the man. Marianne looked again; her heart sank; and as she turned to hurry back, both of her sisters called out to stop her. A third voice, almost as familiar as Willoughby's, joined in asking her to stay, and she turned with surprise to see and greet Edward Ferrars.
He was the only person in the world who could at that [77]moment be forgiven for not being Willoughby; the only one who could have gained a smile from her; but she dispersed her tears to smile on him, and in her sister's happiness forgot for a time her own disappointment.
He was the only person in the world who could at that [77] moment be forgiven for not being Willoughby; the only one who could have made her smile; but she wiped away her tears to smile at him, and in her sister's happiness, she momentarily forgot her own disappointment.
He dismounted, and giving his horse to his servant, walked back with them to Barton, whither he was purposely coming to visit them.
He got off his horse, handed it over to his servant, and walked back with them to Barton, where he was intentionally going to visit them.
He was welcomed by them all with great cordiality, but especially by Marianne, who showed more warmth of regard in her reception of him than even Elinor herself. To Marianne, indeed, the meeting between Edward and her sister was but a continuation of that unaccountable coldness which she had often observed at Norland in their mutual behaviour. On Edward's side, more particularly, there was a deficiency of all that a lover ought to look and say on such an occasion. He was confused, seemed scarcely sensible of pleasure in seeing them, looked neither rapturous nor gay, said little but what was forced from him by questions, and distinguished Elinor by no mark of affection. Marianne saw and listened with increasing surprise. She began almost to feel a dislike of Edward; and it ended, as every feeling must end with her, by carrying back her thoughts to Willoughby, whose manners formed a contrast sufficiently striking to those of his brother elect.
He was greeted by everyone with great warmth, especially by Marianne, who welcomed him with even more enthusiasm than Elinor did. For Marianne, the meeting between Edward and her sister was just a continuation of the strange coldness she often noticed between them at Norland. Edward, in particular, lacked all the qualities a lover should display in such a situation. He seemed confused, hardly showed any joy in seeing them, appeared neither excited nor happy, said very little unless prompted by questions, and didn’t show Elinor any sign of affection. Marianne watched and listened in growing surprise. She began to feel a dislike for Edward; and, as she always did, it led her thoughts back to Willoughby, whose demeanor stood in stark contrast to Edward’s.
After a short silence which succeeded the first surprise and enquiries of meeting, Marianne asked Edward if he came directly from London. No, he had been in Devonshire a fortnight.
After a brief silence that followed the initial surprise and questions of meeting, Marianne asked Edward if he had come straight from London. No, he had been in Devonshire for two weeks.
"A fortnight!" she repeated, surprised at his being so long in the same county with Elinor without seeing her before.
"A couple of weeks!" she repeated, surprised that he had been in the same county as Elinor for so long without seeing her first.
He looked rather distressed as he added, that he had been staying with some friends near Plymouth.
He looked pretty upset as he added that he had been staying with some friends near Plymouth.
"Have you been lately in Sussex?" said Elinor.
"Have you been to Sussex recently?" Elinor asked.
"I was at Norland about a month ago."
"I was at Norland about a month ago."
"And how does dear, dear Norland look?" cried Marianne.
"And how does beloved Norland look?" exclaimed Marianne.
"Dear, dear Norland," said Elinor, "probably looks much as it always does at this time of the year—the woods and walks thickly covered with dead leaves."
"Dear, dear Norland," Elinor said, "probably looks pretty much the same as it always does at this time of year—the woods and paths thickly covered with dead leaves."
"Oh," cried Marianne, "with what transporting sensation have I formerly seen them fall! How have I delighted, as I walked, to see them driven in showers about me by the wind! What[78] feelings have they, the season, the air altogether inspired! Now there is no one to regard them. They are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the sight."
"Oh," cried Marianne, "what an amazing feeling I used to have watching them fall! I loved seeing them blown around me by the wind as I walked! What feelings they, the season, and the air all inspired together! Now, no one pays attention to them. They’re just seen as a nuisance, quickly cleared away, and pushed out of sight as much as possible."
"It is not every one," said Elinor, "who has your passion for dead leaves."
"It’s not everyone," Elinor said, "who shares your passion for dead leaves."
"No; my feelings are not often shared, not often understood. But sometimes they are." As she said this, she sunk into a reverie for a few moments; but rousing herself again, "Now, Edward," said she, calling his attention to the prospect, "here is Barton valley. Look up to it, and be tranquil if you can. Look at those hills! Did you ever see their equals? To the left is Barton park, amongst those woods and plantations. You may see the end of the house. And there, beneath that farthest hill, which rises with such grandeur, is our cottage."
"No; my feelings aren't often shared or understood. But sometimes they are." As she said this, she fell into a daydream for a few moments; but bringing herself back, "Now, Edward," she said, drawing his attention to the view, "here's Barton valley. Look at it and try to feel calm if you can. Look at those hills! Have you ever seen any that compare? To the left is Barton park, among those woods and plantations. You can see the end of the house. And there, beneath that distant hill, which rises so majestically, is our cottage."
"It is a beautiful country," he replied; "but these bottoms must be dirty in winter."
"It’s a beautiful country," he replied, "but these low areas must be muddy in winter."
"How can you think of dirt, with such objects before you?"
"How can you think about dirt with such things right in front of you?"
"Because," replied he, smiling, "among the rest of the objects before me, I see a very dirty lane."
"Because," he replied with a smile, "I can see a really dirty street among all the other things in front of me."
"How strange!" said Marianne to herself as she walked on.
"How weird!" Marianne said to herself as she kept walking.
"Have you an agreeable neighbourhood here? Are the Middletons pleasant people?"
"Do you have a nice neighborhood here? Are the Middletons good people?"
"No, not all," answered Marianne; "we could not be more unfortunately situated."
"No, not at all," answered Marianne; "we couldn't be in a more unfortunate situation."
"Marianne," cried her sister, "how can you say so? How can you be so unjust? They are a very respectable family, Mr. Ferrars; and towards us have behaved in the friendliest manner. Have you forgot, Marianne, how many pleasant days we have owed to them?"
"Marianne," her sister exclaimed, "how can you say that? How can you be so unfair? They are a very respectable family, Mr. Ferrars, and they have treated us very kindly. Have you forgotten, Marianne, how many enjoyable days we have had because of them?"
"No," said Marianne, in a low voice, "nor how many painful moments."
"No," said Marianne softly, "nor how many painful moments."
Elinor took no notice of this; and directing her attention to their visitor, endeavoured to support something like discourse with him, by talking of their present residence, its conveniences, &c. extorting from him occasional questions and remarks. His coldness and reserve mortified her severely; she was vexed and half angry; but resolving to regulate her[79] behaviour to him by the past rather than the present, she avoided every appearance of resentment or displeasure, and treated him as she thought he ought to be treated from the family connection.
Elinor didn’t pay any attention to this and focused on their guest instead, trying to keep a conversation going by talking about where they currently lived, its conveniences, etc., drawing out occasional questions and comments from him. His coldness and distance really bothered her; she felt irritated and somewhat angry. However, deciding to base her behavior towards him on their past interactions rather than how he was acting now, she made sure to avoid showing any signs of resentment or displeasure, treating him as she believed he should be treated due to their family connection.
CHAPTER XVII
Mrs. Dashwood was surprised only for a moment at seeing him; for his coming to Barton was, in her opinion, of all things the most natural. Her joy and expression of regard long outlived her wonder. He received the kindest welcome from her; and shyness, coldness, reserve could not stand against such a reception. They had begun to fail him before he entered the house, and they were quite overcome by the captivating manners of Mrs. Dashwood. Indeed a man could not very well be in love with either of her daughters, without extending the passion to her; and Elinor had the satisfaction of seeing him soon become more like himself. His affections seemed to reanimate towards them all, and his interest in their welfare again became perceptible. He was not in spirits, however; he praised their house, admired its prospect, was attentive, and kind; but still he was not in spirits. The whole family perceived it, and Mrs. Dashwood, attributing it to some want of liberality in his mother, sat down to table indignant against all selfish parents.
Mrs. Dashwood was surprised only for a moment when she saw him; she thought his visit to Barton was completely natural. Her joy and warmth lasted long after her surprise faded. He received the kindest welcome from her, and shyness, coldness, or reserve couldn't hold up against such a warm reception. They had started to diminish before he even stepped into the house, and they were completely won over by Mrs. Dashwood's charming manners. In fact, a man couldn't really be in love with either of her daughters without feeling the same way about her; and Elinor felt pleased seeing him gradually become more himself. His affection seemed to revive towards them all, and his interest in their well-being became noticeable again. However, he still wasn't in good spirits; he praised their house, admired the view, was attentive and kind, but he still wasn’t himself. The whole family noticed it, and Mrs. Dashwood, thinking it was due to some lack of generosity from his mother, sat down to dinner feeling upset with all selfish parents.
"What are Mrs. Ferrars's views for you at present, Edward?" said she, when dinner was over and they had drawn round the fire; "are you still to be a great orator in spite of yourself?"
"What does Mrs. Ferrars think about you right now, Edward?" she asked, after dinner as they gathered around the fire. "Are you still going to be a great speaker despite your reservations?"
"No. I hope my mother is now convinced that I have no more talents than inclination for a public life!"
"No. I hope my mom is now convinced that I have no more skills than a desire for a public life!"
"But how is your fame to be established? for famous you must be to satisfy all your family; and with no inclination for expense, no affection for strangers, no profession, and no assurance, you may find it a difficult matter."
"But how are you going to make a name for yourself? You need to be famous to please your family, and without a willingness to spend money, no love for strangers, no job, and no confidence, it could be a tough challenge."
"I shall not attempt it. I have no wish to be distinguished; and have every reason to hope I never shall. Thank Heaven! I cannot be forced into genius and eloquence."
"I won’t try it. I don’t want to stand out, and I have every reason to believe I never will. Thank goodness! I can’t be pushed into being a genius or eloquent."
"You have no ambition, I well know. Your wishes are all moderate."[80]
"You have no ambition, I know that for sure. Your desires are all pretty modest."[80]
"As moderate as those of the rest of the world, I believe. I wish as well as every body else to be perfectly happy; but, like every body else it must be in my own way. Greatness will not make me so."
"As moderate as those of the rest of the world, I believe. I want to be perfectly happy just like everyone else; but, like everyone else, it has to be in my own way. Being great won’t make me happy."
"Strange that it would!" cried Marianne. "What have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness?"
"That's strange!" cried Marianne. "What do wealth or position have to do with happiness?"
"Grandeur has but little," said Elinor, "but wealth has much to do with it."
"Greatness has very little," Elinor said, "but money has a lot to do with it."
"Elinor, for shame!" said Marianne, "money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. Beyond a competence, it can afford no real satisfaction, as far as mere self is concerned."
"Elinor, come on!" said Marianne, "money can only bring happiness when there's nothing else to provide it. Beyond just getting by, it can't offer any true satisfaction when it comes to personal fulfillment."
"Perhaps," said Elinor, smiling, "we may come to the same point. Your competence and my wealth are very much alike, I dare say; and without them, as the world goes now, we shall both agree that every kind of external comfort must be wanting. Your ideas are only more noble than mine. Come, what is your competence?"
"Maybe," Elinor said with a smile, "we might reach the same conclusion. Your abilities and my money are pretty similar, I would say; and without them, in today's world, we can both agree that we would lack any kind of external comfort. Your ideas are just more noble than mine. So, what is your ability?"
"About eighteen hundred or two thousand a year; not more than that."
"About eighteen hundred or two thousand a year; not more than that."
Elinor laughed. "Two thousand a year! One is my wealth! I guessed how it would end."
Elinor laughed. "Two thousand a year! One is my wealth! I figured it out."
"And yet two thousand a-year is a very moderate income," said Marianne. "A family cannot well be maintained on a smaller. I am sure I am not extravagant in my demands. A proper establishment of servants, a carriage, perhaps two, and hunters, cannot be supported on less."
"And yet two thousand a year is a very reasonable income," said Marianne. "A family can hardly be supported on less. I'm sure I'm not being unreasonable in my expectations. A decent staff of servants, a carriage, maybe two, and some hunters can't be managed on any less."
Elinor smiled again, to hear her sister describing so accurately their future expenses at Combe Magna.
Elinor smiled again upon hearing her sister accurately describe their future expenses at Combe Magna.
"Hunters!" repeated Edward; "but why must you have hunters? Every body does not hunt."
"Hunters!" Edward repeated. "But why do you need hunters? Not everyone hunts."
Marianne coloured as she replied, "But most people do."
Marianne blushed as she replied, "But most people do."
"I wish," said Margaret, striking out a novel thought, "that somebody would give us all a large fortune a-piece!"
"I wish," said Margaret, rejecting a silly idea, "that someone would just give us all a huge fortune each!"
"Oh that they would!" cried Marianne, her eyes sparkling with animation, and her cheeks glowing with the delight of such imaginary happiness.
"Oh, I wish they would!" Marianne exclaimed, her eyes shining with excitement and her cheeks glowing with the joy of such imagined happiness.
"We are all unanimous in that wish, I suppose," said Elinor, "in spite of the insufficiency of wealth."
"I guess we're all in agreement about that wish," said Elinor, "despite the limitations of money."
"Oh dear!" cried Margaret, "how happy I should be! I wonder what I should do with it!"
"Oh no!" exclaimed Margaret, "I would be so happy! I wonder what I would do with it!"
Marianne looked as if she had no doubt on that point.
Marianne appeared to have no doubts about that.
"I should be puzzled to spend so large a fortune myself," said Mrs. Dashwood, "if my children were all to be rich without my help."
"I'd be confused to spend such a huge fortune on my own," said Mrs. Dashwood, "if my kids were all going to be wealthy without my support."
"You must begin your improvements on this house," observed Elinor, "and your difficulties will soon vanish."
"You should start making improvements on this house," Elinor said, "and your problems will soon disappear."
"What magnificent orders would travel from this family to London," said Edward, "in such an event! What a happy day for booksellers, music-sellers, and print-shops! You, Miss Dashwood, would give a general commission for every new print of merit to be sent you—and as for Marianne, I know her greatness of soul, there would not be music enough in London to content her. And books!—Thomson, Cowper, Scott—she would buy them all over and over again: she would buy up every copy, I believe, to prevent their falling into unworthy hands; and she would have every book that tells her how to admire an old twisted tree. Should not you, Marianne? Forgive me, if I am very saucy. But I was willing to show you that I had not forgot our old disputes."
"What amazing orders would come from this family to London," said Edward, "in such a situation! What a great day for booksellers, music sellers, and print shops! You, Miss Dashwood, would put in a blanket order for every new quality print to be sent to you—and as for Marianne, I know her big-heartedness; there wouldn’t be enough music in London to satisfy her. And books!—Thomson, Cowper, Scott—she would buy them all over and over again: I believe she'd buy up every copy just to keep them out of unworthy hands; and she would want every book that tells her how to appreciate an old twisted tree. Wouldn’t you, Marianne? My apologies if I’m being a bit cheeky. I just wanted to show you that I haven’t forgotten our old debates."
"I love to be reminded of the past, Edward—whether it be melancholy or gay, I love to recall it—and you will never offend me by talking of former times. You are very right in supposing how my money would be spent; some of it, at least—my loose cash—would certainly be employed in improving my collection of music and books."
"I love being reminded of the past, Edward—whether it’s sad or happy, I enjoy thinking about it—and you’ll never upset me by bringing up old times. You’re completely right in guessing how I’d spend my money; at least some of it—my extra cash—would definitely go towards enhancing my collection of music and books."
"And the bulk of your fortune would be laid out in annuities on the authors or their heirs."
"And most of your wealth would be invested in annuities for the authors or their heirs."
"No, Edward, I should have something else to do with it."
"No, Edward, I should have something better to do with it."
"Perhaps, then, you would bestow it as a reward on that person who wrote the ablest defence of your favourite maxim, that no one can ever be in love more than once in their life—for your opinion on that point is unchanged, I presume?"
"Maybe you should give it as a reward to the person who wrote the best defense of your favorite saying, that no one can truly fall in love more than once in their life—your opinion on that hasn’t changed, right?"
"Undoubtedly. At my time of life opinions are tolerably fixed. It is not likely that I should now see or hear any thing to change them."
"Definitely. At my age, my opinions are pretty set. It’s unlikely that I’ll see or hear anything now that would change them."
"Marianne is as steadfast as ever, you see," said Elinor, "she is not at all altered."
"Marianne is just as steadfast as ever, you know," Elinor said, "she hasn't changed at all."
"She is only grown a little more grave than she was."
"She’s just become a bit more serious than she used to be."
"Nay, Edward," said Marianne, "you need not reproach me. You are not very gay yourself."
"Nah, Edward," Marianne said, "you don't have to blame me. You're not exactly cheerful yourself."
"Why should you think so!" replied he, with a sigh. "But gaiety never was a part of my character."
"Why would you think that!" he replied with a sigh. "But being cheerful was never a part of my personality."
"Nor do I think it a part of Marianne's," said Elinor; "I should hardly call her a lively girl—she is very earnest, very eager in all she does—sometimes talks a great deal and always with animation—but she is not often really merry."
"Nor do I think that describes Marianne," said Elinor; "I wouldn’t really call her a lively girl—she is very sincere, very passionate in everything she does—sometimes she talks a lot and always with enthusiasm—but she isn't often truly happy."
"I believe you are right," he replied, "and yet I have always set her down as a lively girl."
"I think you're right," he replied, "but I've always thought of her as an energetic girl."
"I have frequently detected myself in such kind of mistakes," said Elinor, "in a total misapprehension of character in some point or other: fancying people so much more gay or grave, or ingenious or stupid than they really are, and I can hardly tell why or in what the deception originated. Sometimes one is guided by what they say of themselves, and very frequently by what other people say of them, without giving oneself time to deliberate and judge."
"I've often caught myself making those kinds of mistakes," Elinor said, "completely misunderstanding someone's character in one way or another: thinking people are much happier or more serious, or smarter or duller than they actually are, and I can barely figure out why or how I got that idea. Sometimes, we go by what they say about themselves, and often by what others say about them, without taking the time to really think and evaluate."
"But I thought it was right, Elinor," said Marianne, "to be guided wholly by the opinion of other people. I thought our judgments were given us merely to be subservient to those of neighbours. This has always been your doctrine, I am sure."
"But I thought it was right, Elinor," said Marianne, "to be completely guided by what other people think. I thought our judgments were only meant to serve those of our neighbors. I'm sure this has always been your belief."
"No, Marianne, never. My doctrine has never aimed at the subjection of the understanding. All I have ever attempted to influence has been the behaviour. You must not confound my meaning. I am guilty, I confess, of having often wished you to treat our acquaintance in general with greater attention; but when have I advised you to adopt their sentiments or to conform to their judgment in serious matters?"
"No, Marianne, never. My beliefs have never sought to undermine your understanding. All I've ever tried to influence is behavior. Don't misunderstand me. I admit, I've often wished you would pay more attention to our relationship in general; but when have I suggested that you should adopt their views or go along with their opinions on important matters?"
"You have not been able to bring your sister over to your plan of general civility," said Edward to Elinor, "Do you gain no ground?"
"You haven't been able to get your sister on board with your idea of general politeness," Edward said to Elinor. "Are you making any progress?"
"Quite the contrary," replied Elinor, looking expressively at Marianne.
"Not at all," replied Elinor, giving Marianne a meaningful look.
"My judgment," he returned, "is all on your side of the question; but I am afraid my practice is much more on your sister's. I never wish to offend, but I am so foolishly shy, that I often seem negligent, when I am only kept back by my natural awkwardness. I have frequently thought that I must have been intended by nature to be fond of low company, I am so little at my ease among strangers of gentility!"[83]
"My opinion," he said, "is completely on your side of the issue; but I’m afraid my actions often align more with your sister's. I never mean to offend, but I’m so ridiculously shy that I often come off as indifferent when I’m really just held back by my natural awkwardness. I’ve often thought that maybe I was meant to enjoy the company of less refined people, since I feel so uncomfortable around genteel strangers!"[83]
"Marianne has not shyness to excuse any inattention of hers," said Elinor.
"Marianne has no shyness to excuse any of her inattentiveness," said Elinor.
"She knows her own worth too well for false shame," replied Edward. "Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, I should not be shy."
"She knows her worth too well to feel false shame," Edward replied. "Shyness is just a result of feeling inferior in some way. If I could convince myself that my manners were completely relaxed and graceful, I wouldn't be shy."
"But you would still be reserved," said Marianne, "and that is worse."
"But you would still be distant," said Marianne, "and that's even worse."
Edward started. "Reserved! Am I reserved, Marianne?"
Edward reacted, "Reserved! Am I really reserved, Marianne?"
"Yes, very."
"Absolutely, very."
"I do not understand you," replied he, colouring. "Reserved!—how, in what manner? What am I to tell you? What can you suppose?"
"I don't get you," he replied, blushing. "Reserved!—how so, in what way? What do you want me to say? What do you think?"
Elinor looked surprised at his emotion; but trying to laugh off the subject, she said to him, "Do not you know my sister well enough to understand what she means? Do not you know she calls every one reserved who does not talk as fast, and admire what she admires as rapturously as herself?"
Elinor was surprised by his feelings; but trying to brush off the topic, she said to him, "Don't you know my sister well enough to understand what she means? Don't you realize she considers anyone reserved who doesn't talk as quickly or admire what she admires as passionately as she does?"
Edward made no answer. His gravity and thoughtfulness returned on him in their fullest extent—and he sat for some time silent and dull.
Edward didn't respond. His seriousness and deep thought came back to him completely—and he sat in silence for a while, feeling dull.
CHAPTER XVIII
Elinor saw, with great uneasiness the low spirits of her friend. His visit afforded her but a very partial satisfaction, while his own enjoyment in it appeared so imperfect. It was evident that he was unhappy; she wished it were equally evident that he still distinguished her by the same affection which once she had felt no doubt of inspiring; but hitherto the continuance of his preference seemed very uncertain; and the reservedness of his manner towards her contradicted one moment what a more animated look had intimated the preceding one.
Elinor noticed, with great concern, her friend’s low spirits. His visit brought her only a partial sense of satisfaction, while he seemed to enjoy it very little. It was clear that he was unhappy; she wished it were equally obvious that he still felt the same affection for her that she had never doubted he once felt. But so far, his ongoing preference seemed quite uncertain, and his reserved behavior towards her contradicted the more animated look he had given her just moments before.
He joined her and Marianne in the breakfast-room the next morning before the others were down; and Marianne, who was always eager to promote their happiness as far as[84] she could, soon left them to themselves. But before she was half way upstairs she heard the parlour door open, and, turning round, was astonished to see Edward himself come out.
He joined her and Marianne in the breakfast room the next morning before the others were up; and Marianne, who was always eager to support their happiness as much as[84] she could, soon left them to be alone. But before she was halfway up the stairs, she heard the parlor door open, and, turning around, was shocked to see Edward himself step out.
"I am going into the village to see my horses," said he, "as you are not yet ready for breakfast; I shall be back again presently."
"I’m going to the village to check on my horses," he said, "since you’re not ready for breakfast yet; I’ll be back soon."
Edward returned to them with fresh admiration of the surrounding country; in his walk to the village, he had seen many parts of the valley to advantage; and the village itself, in a much higher situation than the cottage, afforded a general view of the whole, which had exceedingly pleased him. This was a subject which ensured Marianne's attention, and she was beginning to describe her own admiration of these scenes, and to question him more minutely on the objects that had particularly struck him, when Edward interrupted her by saying, "You must not enquire too far, Marianne: remember I have no knowledge in the picturesque, and I shall offend you by my ignorance and want of taste if we come to particulars. I shall call hills steep, which ought to be bold; surfaces strange and uncouth, which ought to be irregular and rugged; and distant objects out of sight, which ought only to be indistinct through the soft medium of a hazy atmosphere. You must be satisfied with such admiration as I can honestly give. I call it a very fine country,—the hills are steep, the woods seem full of fine timber, and the valley looks comfortable and snug,—with rich meadows and several neat farm houses scattered here and there. It exactly answers my idea of a fine country, because it unites beauty with utility—and I dare say it is a picturesque one too, because you admire it; I can easily believe it to be full of rocks and promontories, grey moss and brush wood, but these are all lost on me. I know nothing of the picturesque."
Edward returned to them with a newfound appreciation for the surrounding countryside. During his walk to the village, he had seen many beautiful views of the valley, and the village itself, sitting at a higher elevation than the cottage, offered an amazing overall view that he really enjoyed. This topic captured Marianne's attention, and she started to share her own admiration for the scenery and ask him more detailed questions about the things that had especially caught his eye when Edward interrupted her by saying, "Don't ask too much, Marianne: remember I’m not knowledgeable about aesthetics, and I might disappoint you with my lack of understanding and taste if we get into specifics. I might refer to steep hills when they should be bold; surfaces that are strange and awkward when they should be irregular and rugged; and distant objects that are out of sight when they should be just blurry through the soft haze of the atmosphere. You’ll have to be content with the level of admiration I can honestly express. I think it’s a really nice area—the hills are steep, the woods seem to be filled with great trees, and the valley looks cozy and snug—with lush meadows and several tidy farmhouses scattered around. It fits my idea of a beautiful countryside because it combines beauty with practicality—and I can easily believe it’s picturesque too, since you admire it; I can imagine it’s full of rocks and cliffs, gray moss, and brush, but all that means nothing to me. I know nothing about the picturesque."
"I am afraid it is but too true," said Marianne; "but why should you boast of it?"
"I’m afraid it's true," said Marianne. "But why would you brag about it?"
"I suspect," said Elinor, "that to avoid one kind of affectation, Edward here falls into another. Because he believes many people pretend to more admiration of the beauties of nature than they really feel, and is disgusted with such pretensions, he affects greater indifference and less discrimination[85] in viewing them himself than he possesses. He is fastidious and will have an affectation of his own."
"I think," Elinor said, "that in trying to avoid one kind of pretense, Edward ends up adopting another. Because he believes many people pretend to admire nature more than they actually do and is turned off by that, he pretends to be less interested and less discerning in his own appreciation than he really is. He's particular and insists on having his own form of pretense."
"It is very true," said Marianne, "that admiration of landscape scenery is become a mere jargon. Every body pretends to feel and tries to describe with the taste and elegance of him who first defined what picturesque beauty was. I detest jargon of every kind, and sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in but what was worn and hackneyed out of all sense and meaning."
"It’s definitely true," said Marianne, "that the admiration of landscape scenery has turned into just empty talk. Everyone pretends to feel something and tries to describe it with the same style and grace as the person who first defined picturesque beauty. I can’t stand clichés of any kind, and sometimes I’ve kept my feelings to myself because I couldn’t find any words to express them that weren't overused and stripped of all their real meaning."
"I am convinced," said Edward, "that you really feel all the delight in a fine prospect which you profess to feel. But, in return, your sister must allow me to feel no more than I profess. I like a fine prospect, but not on picturesque principles. I do not like crooked, twisted, blasted trees. I admire them much more if they are tall, straight, and flourishing. I do not like ruined, tattered cottages. I am not fond of nettles or thistles, or heath blossoms. I have more pleasure in a snug farm-house than a watch-tower,—and a troop of tidy, happy villages please me better than the finest banditti in the world."
"I truly believe," said Edward, "that you genuinely experience all the joy in a beautiful landscape that you say you do. But in return, your sister has to let me enjoy no more than I actually do. I appreciate a great view, but not for artistic reasons. I don't like crooked, twisted, or dead trees. I admire them much more when they are tall, straight, and thriving. I'm not a fan of ruined, tattered cottages. I don't care for nettles or thistles, or heath flowers. I find more pleasure in a cozy farmhouse than in a watchtower—and a group of neat, happy villages makes me happier than the most impressive bandits in the world."
Marianne looked with amazement at Edward, with compassion at her sister. Elinor only laughed.
Marianne stared in amazement at Edward and felt compassion for her sister. Elinor just laughed.
The subject was continued no farther; and Marianne remained thoughtfully silent, till a new object suddenly engaged her attention. She was sitting by Edward, and in taking his tea from Mrs. Dashwood, his hand passed so directly before her, as to make a ring, with a plait of hair in the centre, very conspicuous on one of his fingers.
The topic didn’t go any further, and Marianne stayed quietly lost in thought until something else caught her attention. She was sitting next to Edward, and when he took his tea from Mrs. Dashwood, his hand moved right in front of her, making a ring with a braid of hair in the center stand out clearly on one of his fingers.
"I never saw you wear a ring before, Edward," she cried. "Is that Fanny's hair? I remember her promising to give you some. But I should have thought her hair had been darker."
"I've never seen you wear a ring before, Edward," she exclaimed. "Is that Fanny's hair? I recall her saying she'd give you some. But I would have thought her hair was darker."
Marianne spoke inconsiderately what she really felt; but when she saw how much she had pained Edward, her own vexation at her want of thought could not be surpassed by his. He coloured very deeply, and giving a momentary glance at Elinor, replied, "Yes; it is my sister's hair. The setting always casts a different shade on it, you know."
Marianne said what she truly felt without thinking about it; but when she realized how much she had hurt Edward, her own frustration over her lack of consideration couldn't match his. He blushed deeply and, glancing briefly at Elinor, replied, "Yes; it's my sister's hair. The lighting always changes its color, you know."
Elinor had met his eye, and looked conscious likewise. That the hair was her own, she instantaneously felt as well[86] satisfied as Marianne; the only difference in their conclusions was, that what Marianne considered as a free gift from her sister, Elinor was conscious must have been procured by some theft or contrivance unknown to herself. She was not in a humour, however, to regard it as an affront, and affecting to take no notice of what passed, by instantly talking of something else, she internally resolved henceforward to catch every opportunity of eyeing the hair and of satisfying herself, beyond all doubt, that it was exactly the shade of her own.
Elinor had met his gaze and looked aware as well. She instantly felt as satisfied as Marianne that the hair was her own; the only difference in their conclusions was that while Marianne saw it as a generous gift from her sister, Elinor knew it must have been obtained through some theft or trick that she wasn’t aware of. However, she wasn’t in the mood to see it as an insult, and affecting to ignore what happened, she quickly changed the subject. Internally, she decided from then on to seize every opportunity to examine the hair and confirm for herself, without any doubt, that it was exactly the same shade as her own.
Edward's embarrassment lasted some time, and it ended in an absence of mind still more settled. He was particularly grave the whole morning. Marianne severely censured herself for what she had said; but her own forgiveness might have been more speedy, had she known how little offence it had given her sister.
Edward's embarrassment lasted for a while, and it ended in an even deeper state of distraction. He was especially serious the whole morning. Marianne was really harsh on herself for what she had said; however, she might have forgiven herself more quickly if she had understood how little it had upset her sister.
Before the middle of the day, they were visited by Sir John and Mrs. Jennings, who, having heard of the arrival of a gentleman at the cottage, came to take a survey of the guest. With the assistance of his mother-in-law, Sir John was not long in discovering that the name of Ferrars began with an F. and this prepared a future mine of raillery against the devoted Elinor, which nothing but the newness of their acquaintance with Edward could have prevented from being immediately sprung. But, as it was, she only learned, from some very significant looks, how far their penetration, founded on Margaret's instructions, extended.
Before noon, Sir John and Mrs. Jennings visited them, having heard about a gentleman staying at the cottage. With his mother-in-law's help, Sir John quickly figured out that the name Ferrars started with an F, setting the stage for future teasing directed at the unfortunate Elinor, something that might have happened right away if they weren't still getting to know Edward. As it turned out, she only picked up on their knowing glances, which indicated how much they understood based on Margaret's hints.
Sir John never came to the Dashwoods without either inviting them to dine at the park the next day, or to drink tea with them that evening. On the present occasion, for the better entertainment of their visitor, towards whose amusement he felt himself bound to contribute, he wished to engage them for both.
Sir John never visited the Dashwoods without either inviting them to dinner at the park the next day or asking them to have tea with him that evening. On this occasion, to better entertain their guest, whom he felt obliged to amuse, he wanted to invite them for both.
"You must drink tea with us to night," said he, "for we shall be quite alone; and tomorrow you must absolutely dine with us, for we shall be a large party."
"You have to drink tea with us tonight," he said, "because we'll be all alone; and tomorrow you absolutely need to join us for dinner, as we’ll have a big group."
Mrs. Jennings enforced the necessity. "And who knows but you may raise a dance," said she. "And that will tempt you, Miss Marianne."
Mrs. Jennings stressed the importance. "And who knows, you might start a dance," she said. "And that will tempt you, Miss Marianne."
"A dance!" cried Marianne. "Impossible! Who is to dance?"
"A dance!" shouted Marianne. "No way! Who's going to dance?"
"Who? why yourselves, and the Careys, and Whitakers [88]to be sure. What! you thought nobody could dance because a certain person that shall be nameless is gone!"
"Who? Of course, you, the Careys, and the Whitakers [88]. What! You thought no one could dance just because a certain someone, who shall remain nameless, is gone?"
"I wish with all my soul," cried Sir John, "that Willoughby were among us again."
"I wish with all my heart," exclaimed Sir John, "that Willoughby were here with us again."
This, and Marianne's blushing, gave new suspicions to Edward. "And who is Willoughby?" said he, in a low voice, to Miss Dashwood, by whom he was sitting.
This, along with Marianne's blushing, raised new suspicions for Edward. "And who is Willoughby?" he asked quietly to Miss Dashwood, who was sitting next to him.
She gave him a brief reply. Marianne's countenance was more communicative. Edward saw enough to comprehend, not only the meaning of others, but such of Marianne's expressions as had puzzled him before; and when their visitors left them, he went immediately round her, and said, in a whisper, "I have been guessing. Shall I tell you my guess?"
She gave him a quick response. Marianne's face was more expressive. Edward understood enough to grasp not just what others meant, but also some of the expressions from Marianne that had confused him before; and when their guests departed, he walked over to her and said softly, "I've been trying to figure it out. Do you want me to share my guess?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean?"
"Shall I tell you."
"Should I tell you?"
"Certainly."
"Of course."
"Well then; I guess that Mr. Willoughby hunts."
"Well then; I guess Mr. Willoughby goes hunting."
Marianne was surprised and confused, yet she could not help smiling at the quiet archness of his manner, and after a moment's silence, said—
Marianne was surprised and confused, yet she couldn't help smiling at the subtle playfulness of his demeanor, and after a moment of silence, she said—
"Oh, Edward! How can you?—But the time will come I hope—I am sure you will like him."
"Oh, Edward! How can you? But I hope the time will come—I’m sure you’ll like him."
"I do not doubt it," replied he, rather astonished at her earnestness and warmth; for had he not imagined it to be a joke for the good of her acquaintance in general, founded only on a something or a nothing between Mr. Willoughby and herself, he would not have ventured to mention it.
"I don't doubt it," he replied, somewhat surprised by her sincerity and passion; for if he hadn't thought it was a joke meant for the benefit of her friends, based solely on some insignificant thing between Mr. Willoughby and her, he wouldn't have dared to bring it up.
CHAPTER XIX
Edward remained a week at the cottage; he was earnestly pressed by Mrs. Dashwood to stay longer; but, as if he were bent only on self-mortification, he seemed resolved to be gone when his enjoyment among his friends was at the height. His spirits, during the last two or three days, though still very unequal, were greatly improved—he grew more and more partial to the house and environs—never spoke of going away without a sigh—declared his time to be wholly disengaged—even[89] doubted to what place he should go when he left them—but still, go he must. Never had any week passed so quickly—he could hardly believe it to be gone. He said so repeatedly; other things he said too, which marked the turn of his feelings and gave the lie to his actions. He had no pleasure at Norland; he detested being in town; but either to Norland or London, he must go. He valued their kindness beyond any thing, and his greatest happiness was in being with them. Yet, he must leave them at the end of a week, in spite of their wishes and his own, and without any restraint on his time.
Edward stayed at the cottage for a week. Mrs. Dashwood urged him to stay longer, but it seemed like he was determined to leave just when he was enjoying himself the most with his friends. His mood over the last few days, though still a bit uneven, had improved a lot—he became more attached to the house and its surroundings. He never mentioned leaving without feeling a pang of regret, insisted that he had nothing else to do, and even[89] questioned where he would go after he left them. But still, he had to go. No week had ever gone by so fast—he could hardly believe it was over. He said that several times; he also expressed other feelings that contradicted his actions. He found no joy at Norland; he hated being in town; but he had to go to either Norland or London. He valued their kindness above everything, and his greatest joy was being with them. Yet, he had to part ways after a week, despite their wishes and his own feelings, and without any obligations tying him down.
Elinor placed all that was astonishing in this way of acting to his mother's account; and it was happy for her that he had a mother whose character was so imperfectly known to her, as to be the general excuse for every thing strange on the part of her son. Disappointed, however, and vexed as she was, and sometimes displeased with his uncertain behaviour to herself, she was very well disposed on the whole to regard his actions with all the candid allowances and generous qualifications, which had been rather more painfully extorted from her, for Willoughby's service, by her mother. His want of spirits, of openness, and of consistency, were most usually attributed to his want of independence, and his better knowledge of Mrs. Ferrars's disposition and designs. The shortness of his visit, the steadiness of his purpose in leaving them, originated in the same fettered inclination, the same inevitable necessity of temporizing with his mother. The old well-established grievance of duty against will, parent against child, was the cause of all. She would have been glad to know when these difficulties were to cease, this opposition was to yield, when Mrs. Ferrars would be reformed, and her son be at liberty to be happy. But from such vain wishes she was forced to turn for comfort to the renewal of her confidence in Edward's affection, to the remembrance of every mark of regard in look or word which fell from him while at Barton, and above all to that flattering proof of it which he constantly wore round his finger.
Elinor attributed everything surprising about his behavior to his mother, which was fortunate for her since she didn’t know enough about his mother’s character to excuse all her son’s oddities. Even though she was disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes annoyed by his inconsistent behavior toward her, she was generally inclined to view his actions with the understanding and generosity that her mother had painfully taught her to extend to Willoughby. His lack of energy, openness, and consistency were mostly seen as a result of lacking independence and having a better understanding of Mrs. Ferrars’s nature and plans. The short duration of his visit and his firm decision to leave stemmed from the same constrained feelings and the unavoidable need to accommodate his mother. The long-standing conflict between duty and desire, parent and child, was at the heart of everything. She wished she could know when these challenges would end, when the resistance would ease, when Mrs. Ferrars would change, and when her son would be free to be happy. But faced with such futile hopes, she found comfort in rekindling her faith in Edward's affection, recalling every gesture of kindness in his looks or words during his time at Barton, and especially the flattering token of his feelings that he always wore on his finger.
"I think, Edward," said Mrs. Dashwood, as they were at breakfast the last morning, "you would be a happier man if you had any profession to engage your time and give an interest to your plans and actions. Some inconvenience to your friends, indeed, might result from it—you would not be[90] able to give them so much of your time. But (with a smile) you would be materially benefited in one particular at least—you would know where to go when you left them."
"I think, Edward," said Mrs. Dashwood as they were having breakfast on their last morning, "you would be a happier man if you had a profession to occupy your time and make your plans and actions more interesting. It might inconvenience your friends a bit since you wouldn't be able to spend as much time with them. But (with a smile) you would definitely gain in at least one way—you would know exactly where to go when you left them."
"I do assure you," he replied, "that I have long thought on this point, as you think now. It has been, and is, and probably will always be a heavy misfortune to me, that I have had no necessary business to engage me, no profession to give me employment, or afford me any thing like independence. But unfortunately my own nicety, and the nicety of my friends, have made me what I am, an idle, helpless being. We never could agree in our choice of a profession. I always preferred the church, as I still do. But that was not smart enough for my family. They recommended the army. That was a great deal too smart for me. The law was allowed to be genteel enough; many young men, who had chambers in the Temple, made a very good appearance in the first circles, and drove about town in very knowing gigs. But I had no inclination for the law, even in this less abstruse study of it, which my family approved. As for the navy, it had fashion on its side, but I was too old when the subject was first started to enter it; and, at length, as there was no necessity for my having any profession at all, as I might be as dashing and expensive without a red coat on my back as with one, idleness was pronounced on the whole to be most advantageous and honourable, and a young man of eighteen is not in general so earnestly bent on being busy as to resist the solicitations of his friends to do nothing. I was therefore entered at Oxford and have been properly idle ever since."
"I assure you," he replied, "that I've thought about this for a long time, just like you're thinking now. It has been, and still is, and probably always will be a serious misfortune for me that I haven't had any real work to keep me busy, no profession to give me employment, or provide me with any sense of independence. But unfortunately, my own standards, as well as those of my friends, have turned me into what I am: an idle, helpless person. We could never agree on a career choice. I always preferred the church, and I still do. But that wasn't impressive enough for my family. They suggested the army, which was way too impressive for me. The law was deemed respectable enough; many young men with offices in the Temple made a great impression in high society and drove around town in trendy carriages. But I had no interest in law, not even in the more straightforward aspects of it, which my family accepted. As for the navy, it had style on its side, but I was too old when that option was first brought up for me to join; and eventually, since there was no requirement for me to have any profession at all—since I could be just as stylish and extravagant without a uniform as with one—being idle was deemed overall the most advantageous and honorable choice. A young man of eighteen is generally not very eager to stay busy enough to resist his friends' encouragements to do nothing. So, I was enrolled at Oxford and have been properly idle ever since."
"The consequence of which, I suppose, will be," said Mrs. Dashwood, "since leisure has not promoted your own happiness, that your sons will be brought up to as many pursuits, employments, professions, and trades as Columella's."
"The result of this, I guess, will be," said Mrs. Dashwood, "since having free time hasn't made you happy, that your sons will be raised to engage in as many activities, jobs, professions, and trades as Columella's."
"They will be brought up," said he, in a serious accent, "to be as unlike myself as is possible. In feeling, in action, in condition, in every thing."
"They will be raised," he said seriously, "to be as unlike me as possible. In feelings, in actions, in circumstances, in everything."
"Come, come; this is all an effusion of immediate want of spirits, Edward. You are in a melancholy humour, and fancy that any one unlike yourself must be happy. But remember that the pain of parting from friends will be felt by every body at times, whatever be their education or state. Know your own happiness. You want nothing but patience—or give it a[91] more fascinating name, call it hope. Your mother will secure to you, in time, that independence you are so anxious for; it is her duty, and it will, it must ere long become her happiness to prevent your whole youth from being wasted in discontent. How much may not a few months do?"
"Come on; this is just a momentary feeling of low spirits, Edward. You're in a down mood and think that anyone different from you must be happy. But remember, everyone feels the pain of saying goodbye to friends sometimes, no matter their background or situation. Recognize your own happiness. You just need a little patience—or call it something more uplifting, like hope. Your mother will eventually help you achieve that independence you're so eager for; it's her responsibility, and it will soon become her joy to prevent your entire youth from being spent in unhappiness. Just think of how much can change in a few months."
"I think," replied Edward, "that I may defy many months to produce any good to me."
"I think," Edward replied, "that it might take many months to bring me any good."
This desponding turn of mind, though it could not be communicated to Mrs. Dashwood, gave additional pain to them all in the parting, which shortly took place, and left an uncomfortable impression on Elinor's feelings especially, which required some trouble and time to subdue. But as it was her determination to subdue it, and to prevent herself from appearing to suffer more than what all her family suffered on his going away, she did not adopt the method so judiciously employed by Marianne, on a similar occasion, to augment and fix her sorrow, by seeking silence, solitude and idleness. Their means were as different as their objects, and equally suited to the advancement of each.
This gloomy mindset, even though it couldn't be shared with Mrs. Dashwood, added to everyone's pain during the farewell that soon followed, and left an uncomfortable feeling in Elinor, which took some effort and time to overcome. But since she was determined to get through it and not let herself show any more suffering than what her whole family felt when he left, she didn't choose the approach that Marianne wisely used in a similar situation to deepen her sorrow by seeking silence, solitude, and idleness. Their methods were as different as their goals and equally effective for each.
Elinor sat down to her drawing-table as soon as he was out of the house, busily employed herself the whole day, neither sought nor avoided the mention of his name, appeared to interest herself almost as much as ever in the general concerns of the family, and if, by this conduct, she did not lessen her own grief, it was at least prevented from unnecessary increase, and her mother and sisters were spared much solicitude on her account.
Elinor sat down at her drawing table as soon as he left the house, keeping herself busy all day. She neither sought nor avoided mentioning his name, seemed to care just as much about the family’s affairs as she always had, and while this behavior didn’t necessarily lessen her own sadness, it at least kept it from getting worse, sparing her mother and sisters a lot of worry about her.
Such behaviour as this, so exactly the reverse of her own, appeared no more meritorious to Marianne, than her own had seemed faulty to her. The business of self-command she settled very easily;—with strong affections it was impossible, with calm ones it could have no merit. That her sister's affections were calm, she dared not deny, though she blushed to acknowledge it; and of the strength of her own, she gave a very striking proof, by still loving and respecting that sister, in spite of this mortifying conviction.
Such behavior, which was the complete opposite of her own, seemed to Marianne no more admirable than her own had seemed wrong to her. She quickly concluded that self-control was easy; it was impossible with strong feelings and didn't matter with calm ones. She couldn’t deny that her sister’s feelings were calm, even though she felt embarrassed to admit it. And the strength of her own emotions was clearly demonstrated by the fact that she continued to love and respect her sister despite this upsetting realization.
Without shutting herself up from her family, or leaving the house in determined solitude to avoid them, or lying awake the whole night to indulge meditation, Elinor found every day afforded her leisure enough to think of Edward, and of Edward's behaviour, in every possible variety which the different[92] state of her spirits at different times could produce,—with tenderness, pity, approbation, censure, and doubt. There were moments in abundance, when, if not by the absence of her mother and sisters, at least by the nature of their employments, conversation was forbidden among them, and every effect of solitude was produced. Her mind was inevitably at liberty; her thoughts could not be chained elsewhere; and the past and the future, on a subject so interesting, must be before her, must force her attention, and engross her memory, her reflection, and her fancy.
Without isolating herself from her family, leaving the house in determined solitude to avoid them, or lying awake all night to indulge in meditation, Elinor found that each day provided her with enough time to think about Edward and his behavior in every possible way that her changing mood could inspire— with tenderness, pity, approval, criticism, and doubt. There were plenty of moments when, if not completely due to the absence of her mother and sisters, at least because of what they were occupied with, conversation was off-limits among them, creating a sense of solitude. Her mind was inevitably free; her thoughts couldn't be distracted elsewhere, and both the past and the future on such an interesting subject demanded her attention, consuming her memory, reflection, and imagination.
From a reverie of this kind, as she sat at her drawing-table, she was roused one morning, soon after Edward's leaving them, by the arrival of company. She happened to be quite alone. The closing of the little gate, at the entrance of the green court in front of the house, drew her eyes to the window, and she saw a large party walking up to the door. Amongst them were Sir John and Lady Middleton and Mrs. Jennings, but there were two others, a gentleman and lady, who were quite unknown to her. She was sitting near the window, and as soon as Sir John perceived her, he left the rest of the party to the ceremony of knocking at the door, and stepping across the turf, obliged her to open the casement to speak to him, though the space was so short between the door and the window, as to make it hardly possible to speak at one without being heard at the other.
From a daydream like this, as she sat at her drawing table, she was awakened one morning, not long after Edward had left them, by some guests arriving. She was completely alone. The sound of the little gate closing at the entrance of the green courtyard in front of the house caught her attention, and she looked out the window to see a large group approaching the door. Among them were Sir John and Lady Middleton and Mrs. Jennings, but there were two others, a man and a woman, whom she didn't recognize. She was sitting by the window, and as soon as Sir John noticed her, he left the rest of the group to knock on the door and stepped across the grass, urging her to open the window to talk to him, even though the distance between the door and the window was so small that it was almost impossible to speak at one without being heard at the other.
"Well," said he, "we have brought you some strangers. How do you like them?"
"Well," he said, "we've brought you some newcomers. What do you think of them?"
"Hush! they will hear you."
"Shh! They'll hear you."
"Never mind if they do. It is only the Palmers. Charlotte is very pretty, I can tell you. You may see her if you look this way."
"Don’t worry if they do. It’s just the Palmers. Charlotte is really pretty, I can tell you. You can see her if you look this way."
As Elinor was certain of seeing her in a couple of minutes, without taking that liberty, she begged to be excused.
As Elinor was sure she'd see her in a couple of minutes, without overstepping, she asked to be excused.
"Where is Marianne? Has she run away because we are come? I see her instrument is open."
"Where is Marianne? Has she run away because we’ve arrived? I see her instrument is out."
"She is walking, I believe."
"She’s walking, I think."
They were now joined by Mrs. Jennings, who had not patience enough to wait till the door was opened before she told her story. She came hallooing to the window, "How do you do, my dear? How does Mrs. Dashwood do? And where are your sisters? What! all alone! you will be glad[93] of a little company to sit with you. I have brought my other son and daughter to see you. Only think of their coming so suddenly! I thought I heard a carriage last night, while we were drinking our tea, but it never entered my head that it could be them. I thought of nothing but whether it might not be Colonel Brandon come back again; so I said to Sir John, I do think I hear a carriage; perhaps it is Colonel Brandon come back again—"
They were now joined by Mrs. Jennings, who didn't have the patience to wait until the door was opened before she shared her news. She called through the window, "How are you, my dear? How's Mrs. Dashwood? And where are your sisters? What! All by yourself? You must be happy[93] for a little company. I brought my other son and daughter to see you. Can you believe they came so unexpectedly? I thought I heard a carriage last night while we were having tea, but it never crossed my mind that it could be them. I was only wondering whether it might be Colonel Brandon returning; so I said to Sir John, I think I hear a carriage; maybe it’s Colonel Brandon come back—"
Elinor was obliged to turn from her, in the middle of her story, to receive the rest of the party; Lady Middleton introduced the two strangers; Mrs. Dashwood and Margaret came down stairs at the same time, and they all sat down to look at one another, while Mrs. Jennings continued her story as she walked through the passage into the parlour, attended by Sir John.
Elinor had to turn away from her in the middle of her story to greet the rest of the group; Lady Middleton introduced the two newcomers. Mrs. Dashwood and Margaret came downstairs at the same time, and they all sat down to size each other up while Mrs. Jennings kept talking as she walked through the hallway into the living room, accompanied by Sir John.
Mrs. Palmer was several years younger than Lady Middleton, and totally unlike her in every respect. She was short and plump, had a very pretty face, and the finest expression of good humour in it that could possibly be. Her manners were by no means so elegant as her sister's, but they were much more prepossessing. She came in with a smile, smiled all the time of her visit, except when she laughed, and smiled when she went away. Her husband was a grave looking young man of five or six and twenty, with an air of more fashion and sense than his wife, but of less willingness to please or be pleased. He entered the room with a look of self-consequence, slightly bowed to the ladies, without speaking a word, and, after briefly surveying them and their apartments, took up a newspaper from the table, and continued to read it as long as he stayed.
Mrs. Palmer was a few years younger than Lady Middleton and completely different from her in every way. She was short and chubby, had a very pretty face, and the most delightful expression of good humor. Her manners weren't as elegant as her sister's, but they were much more appealing. She walked in with a smile, kept smiling throughout her visit, except when she was laughing, and smiled again when she left. Her husband was a serious-looking young man around twenty-five or twenty-six, who seemed more stylish and sensible than his wife but was less eager to please or be pleased. He entered the room with an air of self-importance, nodded slightly to the ladies without saying a word, and after quickly scanning them and the room, picked up a newspaper from the table and read it for the rest of his time there.
Mrs. Palmer, on the contrary, who was strongly endowed by nature with a turn for being uniformly civil and happy, was hardly seated before her admiration of the parlour and every thing in it burst forth.
Mrs. Palmer, on the other hand, who was naturally gifted with a knack for being consistently polite and cheerful, could hardly sit down before her admiration for the living room and everything in it overflowed.
"Well! what a delightful room this is! I never saw anything so charming! Only think, Mamma, how it is improved since I was here last! I always thought it such a sweet place, ma'am! (turning to Mrs. Dashwood) but you have made it so charming! Only look, sister, how delightful every thing is! How I should like such a house for myself! Should not you, Mr. Palmer?"[94]
"Wow! This room is amazing! I've never seen anything so lovely! Just think, Mom, how much better it is since I was last here! I always thought it was such a cute place, ma'am! (turning to Mrs. Dashwood) But you've made it so beautiful! Just look, sister, how wonderful everything is! I would love to have a house like this for myself! Don't you agree, Mr. Palmer?"[94]
Mr. Palmer made her no answer, and did not even raise his eyes from the newspaper.
Mr. Palmer didn't answer her and didn't even look up from the newspaper.
"Mr. Palmer does not hear me," said she, laughing; "he never does sometimes. It is so ridiculous!"
"Mr. Palmer doesn’t hear me," she said, laughing. "He never does, sometimes. It’s so ridiculous!"
This was quite a new idea to Mrs. Dashwood; she had never been used to find wit in the inattention of any one, and could not help looking with surprise at them both.
This was a completely new idea for Mrs. Dashwood; she had never considered that someone could be witty through their inattention, and she couldn't help but look at both of them in surprise.
Mrs. Jennings, in the meantime, talked on as loud as she could, and continued her account of their surprise, the evening before, on seeing their friends, without ceasing till every thing was told. Mrs. Palmer laughed heartily at the recollection of their astonishment, and every body agreed, two or three times over, that it had been quite an agreeable surprise.
Mrs. Jennings, in the meantime, spoke as loudly as she could and kept sharing her story about their surprise, the night before, when they saw their friends, without stopping until everything was said. Mrs. Palmer laughed heartily at the memory of their shock, and everyone agreed, two or three times, that it had been a really pleasant surprise.
"You may believe how glad we all were to see them," added Mrs. Jennings, leaning forward towards Elinor, and speaking in a low voice as if she meant to be heard by no one else, though they were seated on different sides of the room; "but, however, I can't help wishing they had not travelled quite so fast, nor made such a long journey of it, for they came all round by London upon account of some business, for you know (nodding significantly and pointing to her daughter) it was wrong in her situation. I wanted her to stay at home and rest this morning, but she would come with us; she longed so much to see you all!"
"You can imagine how happy we all were to see them," Mrs. Jennings added, leaning toward Elinor and speaking quietly as if she didn't want anyone else to hear, even though they were on opposite sides of the room. "However, I really wish they hadn't traveled so quickly or made such a long trip, since they came all the way through London for some business. You know"—she nodded meaningfully and pointed to her daughter—"it wasn't the best choice for her right now. I wanted her to stay home and rest this morning, but she insisted on coming with us; she was so eager to see all of you!"
Mrs. Palmer laughed, and said it would not do her any harm.
Mrs. Palmer laughed and said it wouldn't hurt her at all.
"She expects to be confined in February," continued Mrs. Jennings.
"She expects to be in confinement in February," continued Mrs. Jennings.
Lady Middleton could no longer endure such a conversation, and therefore exerted herself to ask Mr. Palmer if there was any news in the paper.
Lady Middleton could no longer tolerate such a conversation, so she made an effort to ask Mr. Palmer if there was any news in the paper.
"No, none at all," he replied, and read on.
"No, not at all," he replied, and continued reading.
"Here comes Marianne," cried Sir John. "Now, Palmer, you shall see a monstrous pretty girl."
"Here comes Marianne," shouted Sir John. "Now, Palmer, you’re about to see an incredibly beautiful girl."
He immediately went into the passage, opened the front door, and ushered her in himself. Mrs. Jennings asked her, as soon as she appeared, if she had not been to Allenham; and Mrs. Palmer laughed so heartily at the question, as to show she understood it. Mr. Palmer looked up on her entering the room, stared at her some minutes, and then returned to his newspaper. Mrs. Palmer's eye was now caught by [95]the drawings which hung round the room. She got up to examine them.
He immediately went into the hallway, opened the front door, and welcomed her inside. Mrs. Jennings asked her, as soon as she walked in, if she had been to Allenham; and Mrs. Palmer laughed so hard at the question that it was clear she understood it. Mr. Palmer looked up when she entered the room, stared at her for a few minutes, and then went back to his newspaper. Mrs. Palmer's attention was soon drawn to the drawings hanging around the room. She stood up to take a closer look at them.
"Oh! dear, how beautiful these are! Well! how delightful! Do but look, mama, how sweet! I declare they are quite charming; I could look at them for ever." And then sitting down again, she very soon forgot that there were any such things in the room.
"Oh wow, these are so beautiful! How amazing! Just look, mom, how lovely! I swear they are absolutely charming; I could stare at them forever." And then, as she sat down again, she quickly forgot that there were any such things in the room.
When Lady Middleton rose to go away, Mr. Palmer rose also, laid down the newspaper, stretched himself and looked at them all around.
When Lady Middleton stood up to leave, Mr. Palmer stood up too, put down the newspaper, stretched himself, and glanced at everyone around him.
"My love, have you been asleep?" said his wife, laughing.
"My love, have you been sleeping?" said his wife, laughing.
He made her no answer; and only observed, after again examining the room, that it was very low pitched, and that the ceiling was crooked. He then made his bow, and departed with the rest.
He didn’t respond to her; he just noticed, after looking around the room again, that it had a low ceiling and that the ceiling was uneven. Then he bowed and left with the others.
Sir John had been very urgent with them all to spend the next day at the park. Mrs. Dashwood, who did not choose to dine with them oftener than they dined at the cottage, absolutely refused on her own account; her daughters might do as they pleased. But they had no curiosity to see how Mr. and Mrs. Palmer ate their dinner, and no expectation of pleasure from them in any other way. They attempted, therefore, likewise, to excuse themselves; the weather was uncertain, and not likely to be good. But Sir John would not be satisfied—the carriage should be sent for them and they must come. Lady Middleton too, though she did not press their mother, pressed them. Mrs. Jennings and Mrs. Palmer joined their entreaties, all seemed equally anxious to avoid a family party; and the young ladies were obliged to yield.
Sir John had been very insistent that they all spend the next day at the park. Mrs. Dashwood, who preferred not to dine with them more often than they did at the cottage, outright refused for her own reasons; her daughters could decide for themselves. However, they had no interest in seeing how Mr. and Mrs. Palmer had their dinner, nor did they expect to enjoy their company in any other way. So, they tried to excuse themselves as well; the weather was unpredictable and unlikely to be nice. But Sir John wouldn’t take no for an answer—he insisted that a carriage be sent for them and that they must come. Lady Middleton, although she didn’t pressure their mother, urged them to go. Mrs. Jennings and Mrs. Palmer added their requests, all were equally eager to avoid a family gathering; and the young ladies had no choice but to give in.
"Why should they ask us?" said Marianne, as soon as they were gone. "The rent of this cottage is said to be low; but we have it on very hard terms, if we are to dine at the park whenever any one is staying either with them, or with us."
"Why should they ask us?" Marianne said as soon as they left. "The rent for this cottage is said to be low, but we have it on pretty tough terms if we have to dine at the park whenever someone is staying with either them or us."
"They mean no less to be civil and kind to us now," said Elinor, "by these frequent invitations, than by those which we received from them a few weeks ago. The alteration is not in them, if their parties are grown tedious and dull. We must look for the change elsewhere."
"They don’t mean any less to be polite and nice to us now," Elinor said, "with these frequent invitations, than they did with the ones we received from them a few weeks ago. The change isn’t in them, even if their gatherings have become boring and dull. We need to look for the change elsewhere."
CHAPTER XX
As the Miss Dashwoods entered the drawing-room of the park the next day, at one door, Mrs. Palmer came running in at the other, looking as good humoured and merry as before. She took them all most affectionately by the hand, and expressed great delight in seeing them again.
As the Miss Dashwoods walked into the drawing room of the park the next day, Mrs. Palmer came rushing in from the other door, looking just as cheerful and happy as before. She warmly took each of them by the hand and expressed her joy at seeing them again.
"I am so glad to see you!" said she, seating herself between Elinor and Marianne, "for it is so bad a day I was afraid you might not come, which would be a shocking thing, as we go away again tomorrow. We must go, for the Westons come to us next week you know. It was quite a sudden thing our coming at all, and I knew nothing of it till the carriage was coming to the door, and then Mr. Palmer asked me if I would go with him to Barton. He is so droll! He never tells me any thing! I am so sorry we cannot stay longer; however we shall meet again in town very soon, I hope."
"I'm so happy to see you!" she said, sitting down between Elinor and Marianne. "It's such a terrible day that I was worried you might not make it, which would be awful since we leave again tomorrow. We really have to go because the Westons are coming to visit us next week, you know. Our visit here was totally unexpected, and I didn't know anything about it until the carriage was at the door, and then Mr. Palmer asked me if I wanted to go with him to Barton. He's so funny! He never tells me anything! I'm really sorry we can't stay longer, but I hope we'll meet again in town very soon."
They were obliged to put an end to such an expectation.
They had to put a stop to that expectation.
"Not go to town!" cried Mrs. Palmer, with a laugh, "I shall be quite disappointed if you do not. I could get the nicest house in world for you, next door to ours, in Hanover-square. You must come, indeed. I am sure I shall be very happy to chaperon you at any time till I am confined, if Mrs. Dashwood should not like to go into public."
"Don't go to town!" Mrs. Palmer laughed. "I'll be really disappointed if you don’t. I could get you the nicest house in the world, right next to ours in Hanover Square. You have to come, for sure. I’m sure I’d be more than happy to chaperone you anytime until I have to stay home, if Mrs. Dashwood doesn’t want to go out in public."
They thanked her; but were obliged to resist all her entreaties.
They thanked her, but had to refuse all her pleas.
"Oh, my love," cried Mrs. Palmer to her husband, who just then entered the room—"you must help me to persuade the Miss Dashwoods to go to town this winter."
"Oh, my love," cried Mrs. Palmer to her husband, who had just entered the room—"you have to help me convince the Miss Dashwoods to go to the city this winter."
Her love made no answer; and after slightly bowing to the ladies, began complaining of the weather.
Her love didn’t respond; after giving a slight bow to the ladies, he started complaining about the weather.
"How horrid all this is!" said he. "Such weather makes every thing and every body disgusting. Dullness is as much produced within doors as without, by rain. It makes one detest all one's acquaintance. What the devil does Sir John mean by not having a billiard room in his house? How few people know what comfort is! Sir John is as stupid as the weather."[98]
"How awful all of this is!" he said. "This kind of weather makes everything and everyone unbearable. Boredom is created just as much indoors as it is outdoors by the rain. It makes you hate all your acquaintances. What on earth is Sir John thinking by not having a billiard room in his house? So few people understand what comfort really is! Sir John is as dull as the weather."[98]
The rest of the company soon dropt in.
The rest of the group soon dropped in.
"I am afraid, Miss Marianne," said Sir John, "you have not been able to take your usual walk to Allenham today."
"I’m afraid, Miss Marianne," said Sir John, "you weren't able to take your usual walk to Allenham today."
Marianne looked very grave and said nothing.
Marianne looked really serious and didn’t say anything.
"Oh, don't be so sly before us," said Mrs. Palmer; "for we know all about it, I assure you; and I admire your taste very much, for I think he is extremely handsome. We do not live a great way from him in the country, you know. Not above ten miles, I dare say."
"Oh, don't be so sneaky in front of us," said Mrs. Palmer; "because we know all about it, I promise you; and I really admire your taste, as I think he's really good-looking. We don't live too far from him in the countryside, you know. Probably not more than ten miles, I would guess."
"Much nearer thirty," said her husband.
"Much closer to thirty," her husband said.
"Ah, well! there is not much difference. I never was at his house; but they say it is a sweet pretty place."
"Well, there's not much of a difference. I’ve never been to his house, but they say it’s a really nice place."
"As vile a spot as I ever saw in my life," said Mr. Palmer.
"As disgusting a place as I've ever seen in my life," said Mr. Palmer.
Marianne remained perfectly silent, though her countenance betrayed her interest in what was said.
Marianne stayed completely silent, but her expression revealed her interest in what was being said.
"Is it very ugly?" continued Mrs. Palmer—"then it must be some other place that is so pretty I suppose."
"Is it really ugly?" Mrs. Palmer asked again. "Then it must be some other place that's really beautiful, I guess."
When they were seated in the dining room, Sir John observed with regret that they were only eight all together.
When they sat down in the dining room, Sir John noticed with regret that there were only eight of them in total.
"My dear," said he to his lady, "it is very provoking that we should be so few. Why did not you ask the Gilberts to come to us today?"
"My dear," he said to his lady, "it’s really frustrating that we’re so few. Why didn’t you invite the Gilberts to join us today?"
"Did not I tell you, Sir John, when you spoke to me about it before, that it could not be done? They dined with us last."
"Did I not tell you, Sir John, when you mentioned it before, that it couldn't be done? They had dinner with us last."
"You and I, Sir John," said Mrs. Jennings, "should not stand upon such ceremony."
"You and I, Sir John," Mrs. Jennings said, "shouldn't be so formal."
"Then you would be very ill-bred," cried Mr. Palmer.
"Then you'd be really rude," exclaimed Mr. Palmer.
"My love you contradict every body," said his wife with her usual laugh. "Do you know that you are quite rude?"
"My love, you contradict everyone," his wife said with her usual laugh. "Do you realize that you're being quite rude?"
"I did not know I contradicted any body in calling your mother ill-bred."
"I didn’t realize I was contradicting anyone by calling your mother rude."
"Ay, you may abuse me as you please," said the good-natured old lady, "you have taken Charlotte off my hands, and cannot give her back again. So there I have the whip hand of you."
"Sure, you can treat me however you want," said the good-natured old lady, "you've taken Charlotte off my hands, and you can't give her back. So now I've got the upper hand over you."
Charlotte laughed heartily to think that her husband could not get rid of her; and exultingly said, she did not care how cross he was to her, as they must live together. It was impossible for any one to be more thoroughly good-natured, or more determined to be happy than Mrs. Palmer. The studied indifference, insolence, and discontent of her husband gave[99] her no pain; and when he scolded or abused her, she was highly diverted.
Charlotte laughed heartily at the idea that her husband could never get rid of her and boldly declared that she didn’t mind how grumpy he was toward her since they had to live together. No one could be more genuinely good-natured or more determined to be happy than Mrs. Palmer. Her husband’s deliberate indifference, rudeness, and unhappiness didn’t bother her at all; in fact, when he scolded or mistreated her, she found it quite amusing.
"Mr. Palmer is so droll!" said she, in a whisper, to Elinor. "He is always out of humour."
"Mr. Palmer is so funny!" she said in a whisper to Elinor. "He's always in a bad mood."
Elinor was not inclined, after a little observation, to give him credit for being so genuinely and unaffectedly ill-natured or ill-bred as he wished to appear. His temper might perhaps be a little soured by finding, like many others of his sex, that through some unaccountable bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman,—but she knew that this kind of blunder was too common for any sensible man to be lastingly hurt by it. It was rather a wish of distinction, she believed, which produced his contemptuous treatment of every body, and his general abuse of every thing before him. It was the desire of appearing superior to other people. The motive was too common to be wondered at; but the means, however they might succeed by establishing his superiority in ill-breeding, were not likely to attach any one to him except his wife.
Elinor didn’t really think he was as genuinely and obviously rude or poorly bred as he wanted everyone to believe. His temper might be a little sour from realizing, like many men, that he was stuck with a really silly wife because of some strange preference for looks. But she knew that kind of mistake was too common for any sensible man to be deeply affected by it. She believed it was more about a desire to stand out that caused his rude behavior towards everyone and his general negativity about everything around him. He wanted to seem better than others. The motive was too typical to be surprising, but the way he tried to show his superiority through being rude wasn’t likely to endear him to anyone but his wife.
"Oh, my dear Miss Dashwood," said Mrs. Palmer soon afterwards, "I have got such a favour to ask of you and your sister. Will you come and spend some time at Cleveland this Christmas? Now, pray do,—and come while the Westons are with us. You cannot think how happy I shall be! It will be quite delightful!—My love," applying to her husband, "don't you long to have the Miss Dashwoods come to Cleveland?"
"Oh, my dear Miss Dashwood," Mrs. Palmer said soon after, "I have such a favor to ask of you and your sister. Will you come and spend some time with us in Cleveland this Christmas? Please do—and come while the Westons are with us. You can't imagine how happy it will make me! It will be so delightful!—My love," she said to her husband, "don’t you just want the Miss Dashwoods to come to Cleveland?"
"Certainly," he replied, with a sneer—"I came into Devonshire with no other view."
"Of course," he replied, with a smirk—"I came to Devonshire for no other reason."
"There now,"—said his lady, "you see Mr. Palmer expects you; so you cannot refuse to come."
"There now," said his lady, "you see Mr. Palmer is expecting you, so you can't refuse to come."
They both eagerly and resolutely declined her invitation.
They both eagerly and firmly declined her invitation.
"But indeed you must and shall come. I am sure you will like it of all things. The Westons will be with us, and it will be quite delightful. You cannot think what a sweet place Cleveland is; and we are so gay now, for Mr. Palmer is always going about the country canvassing against the election; and so many people came to dine with us that I never saw before, it is quite charming! But, poor fellow! it is very fatiguing to him! for he is forced to make every body like him."
"But you absolutely must come. I’m sure you’ll love it more than anything. The Westons will be with us, and it will be really enjoyable. You can’t imagine what a lovely place Cleveland is; and we’re having such a good time now, because Mr. Palmer is always out in the country campaigning against the election. So many new people have come to dine with us, it’s really delightful! But, poor guy! It’s very tiring for him, since he has to make everyone like him."
Elinor could hardly keep her countenance as she assented to the hardship of such an obligation.[100]
Elinor could barely maintain her composure as she agreed to the burden of such an obligation.[100]
"How charming it will be," said Charlotte, "when he is in Parliament!—won't it? How I shall laugh! It will be so ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him with an M.P. But do you know, he says, he will never frank for me? He declares he won't. Don't you, Mr. Palmer?"
"How charming it will be," said Charlotte, "when he’s in Parliament!—won't it? I’ll laugh so much! It’s going to be so ridiculous to see all his letters addressed to him with an M.P. But you know, he says he’ll never frank for me? He insists he won’t. Don’t you, Mr. Palmer?"
Mr. Palmer took no notice of her.
Mr. Palmer brushed her off.
"He cannot bear writing, you know," she continued; "he says it is quite shocking."
"He can't stand writing, you know," she continued; "he says it's really shocking."
"No," said he, "I never said any thing so irrational. Don't palm all your abuses of languages upon me."
"No," he said, "I never said anything that crazy. Don't blame me for all your language mistakes."
"There now; you see how droll he is. This is always the way with him! Sometimes he won't speak to me for half a day together, and then he comes out with something so droll—all about any thing in the world."
"There you go; you see how funny he is. This is always how he is! Sometimes he won't talk to me for half a day, and then he suddenly says something so funny—about anything at all."
She surprised Elinor very much as they returned into the drawing-room, by asking her whether she did not like Mr. Palmer excessively.
She really surprised Elinor as they went back into the living room by asking her if she didn’t like Mr. Palmer a lot.
"Certainly," said Elinor; "he seems very agreeable."
"Sure," said Elinor; "he seems really nice."
"Well—I am so glad you do. I thought you would, he is so pleasant; and Mr. Palmer is excessively pleased with you and your sisters I can tell you, and you can't think how disappointed he will be if you don't come to Cleveland. I can't imagine why you should object to it."
"Well—I’m really glad you feel that way. I thought you would; he’s so nice. Mr. Palmer is really happy with you and your sisters, I can tell you that, and you wouldn’t believe how disappointed he’ll be if you don’t come to Cleveland. I just can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to go."
Elinor was again obliged to decline her invitation; and by changing the subject, put a stop to her entreaties. She thought it probable that as they lived in the same county, Mrs. Palmer might be able to give some more particular account of Willoughby's general character, than could be gathered from the Middletons' partial acquaintance with him; and she was eager to gain from any one, such a confirmation of his merits as might remove the possibility of fear from Marianne. She began by inquiring if they saw much of Mr. Willoughby at Cleveland, and whether they were intimately acquainted with him.
Elinor had to refuse her invitation again, and by changing the subject, she stopped her pleas. She thought it was likely that since they lived in the same county, Mrs. Palmer might have a more detailed understanding of Willoughby’s overall character than what could be gathered from the Middletons' limited knowledge of him; and she was eager to get any confirmation of his good qualities that might ease Marianne's worries. She started by asking if they saw much of Mr. Willoughby at Cleveland and whether they knew him well.
"Oh dear, yes; I know him extremely well," replied Mrs. Palmer;—"Not that I ever spoke to him, indeed; but I have seen him for ever in town. Somehow or other I never happened to be staying at Barton while he was at Allenham. Mama saw him here once before, but I was with my uncle at Weymouth. However, I dare say we should have seen a great deal of him in Somersetshire, if it had not happened very[101] unluckily that we should never have been in the country together. He is very little at Combe, I believe; but if he were ever so much there, I do not think Mr. Palmer would visit him, for he is in the opposition, you know, and besides it is such a way off. I know why you inquire about him, very well; your sister is to marry him. I am monstrous glad of it, for then I shall have her for a neighbour you know."
"Oh dear, yes; I know him really well," replied Mrs. Palmer;—"Not that I've ever talked to him, though; I’ve just seen him around town all the time. Somehow I never happened to be in Barton when he was at Allenham. Mom saw him here once before, but I was with my uncle in Weymouth. Still, I’m sure we would have seen quite a bit of him in Somersetshire if it hadn’t been really[101] unfortunate that we were never in the country at the same time. I believe he spends very little time at Combe; but even if he were there a lot, I don't think Mr. Palmer would visit him since he's in the opposition, and besides, it's such a long way off. I know why you're asking about him; your sister is going to marry him. I’m really happy about it because that means I’ll have her as a neighbor, you know."
"Upon my word," replied Elinor, "you know much more of the matter than I do, if you have any reason to expect such a match."
"Honestly," Elinor replied, "you know a lot more about this than I do if you have any reason to think that kind of relationship is possible."
"Don't pretend to deny it, because you know it is what every body talks of. I assure you I heard of it in my way through town."
"Don't pretend it's not true, because you know everyone is talking about it. I promise you I heard about it while I was walking through town."
"My dear Mrs. Palmer!"
"My dear Mrs. Palmer!"
"Upon my honour I did. I met Colonel Brandon Monday morning in Bond-street, just before we left town, and he told me of it directly."
"Honestly, I did. I ran into Colonel Brandon on Monday morning in Bond Street, right before we left town, and he told me about it right away."
"You surprise me very much. Colonel Brandon tell you of it! Surely you must be mistaken. To give such intelligence to a person who could not be interested in it, even if it were true, is not what I should expect Colonel Brandon to do."
"You really surprise me. Did Colonel Brandon tell you about it? You must be mistaken. I wouldn’t expect Colonel Brandon to share such information with someone who wouldn’t care about it, even if it were true."
"But I do assure you it was so, for all that, and I will tell you how it happened. When we met him, he turned back and walked with us; and so we began talking of my brother and sister, and one thing and another, and I said to him, 'So, Colonel, there is a new family come to Barton cottage, I hear, and mama sends me word they are very pretty, and that one of them is going to be married to Mr. Willoughby of Combe Magna. Is it true, pray? for of course you must know, as you have been in Devonshire so lately.'"
"But I assure you it was true, and I'll explain how it happened. When we saw him, he turned around and walked with us; we started chatting about my brother and sister, and various things, and I said to him, 'So, Colonel, I hear a new family has moved into Barton cottage, and mom tells me they're very attractive, and that one of them is going to marry Mr. Willoughby of Combe Magna. Is that true? You must know, since you've been in Devonshire so recently.'"
"And what did the Colonel say?"
"And what did the Colonel say?"
"Oh—he did not say much; but he looked as if he knew it to be true, so from that moment I set it down as certain. It will be quite delightful, I declare! When is it to take place?"
"Oh—he didn’t say much; but he looked like he knew it was true, so from that moment I took it as certain. It’ll be so delightful, I swear! When is it happening?"
"Mr. Brandon was very well I hope?"
"Mr. Brandon was doing very well, I hope?"
"Oh! yes, quite well; and so full of your praises, he did nothing but say fine things of you."
"Oh, definitely! He spoke very highly of you and couldn't stop saying great things about you."
"I am flattered by his commendation. He seems an excellent man; and I think him uncommonly pleasing."[102]
"I'm really flattered by his praise. He seems like a great guy, and I find him incredibly charming."[102]
"So do I. He is such a charming man, that it is quite a pity he should be so grave and so dull. Mamma says he was in love with your sister too. I assure you it was a great compliment if he was, for he hardly ever falls in love with any body."
"So do I. He's such a charming guy that it's a real shame he has to be so serious and boring. Mom says he was in love with your sister too. I assure you, it would be a huge compliment if he was, because he hardly ever falls in love with anyone."
"Is Mr. Willoughby much known in your part of Somersetshire?" said Elinor.
"Is Mr. Willoughby well-known in your area of Somersetshire?" Elinor asked.
"Oh! yes, extremely well; that is, I do not believe many people are acquainted with him, because Combe Magna is so far off; but they all think him extremely agreeable I assure you. Nobody is more liked than Mr. Willoughby wherever he goes, and so you may tell your sister. She is a monstrous lucky girl to get him, upon my honour; not but that he is much more lucky in getting her, because she is so very handsome and agreeable, that nothing can be good enough for her. However, I don't think her hardly at all handsomer than you, I assure you; for I think you both excessively pretty, and so does Mr. Palmer too I am sure, though we could not get him to own it last night."
"Oh! yes, very well; I don’t think many people know him since Combe Magna is so far away, but everyone thinks he’s really charming, I promise you. No one is more liked than Mr. Willoughby wherever he goes, and you can tell your sister that. She’s an incredibly lucky girl to have him, honestly; but really, he’s much luckier to have her because she’s so beautiful and charming that nothing is good enough for her. Still, I don’t think she’s any more beautiful than you, I assure you; I think you’re both extremely pretty, and Mr. Palmer thinks so too, I’m sure, even though we couldn’t get him to admit it last night."
Mrs. Palmer's information respecting Willoughby was not very material; but any testimony in his favour, however small, was pleasing to her.
Mrs. Palmer's information about Willoughby wasn't very important; but any evidence in his favor, no matter how minor, was nice for her.
"I am so glad we are got acquainted at last," continued Charlotte. "And now I hope we shall always be great friends. You can't think how much I longed to see you! It is so delightful that you should live at the cottage! Nothing can be like it, to be sure! And I am so glad your sister is going to be well married! I hope you will be a great deal at Combe Magna. It is a sweet place, by all accounts."
"I’m really happy we finally met," Charlotte said. "And now I hope we’ll always be close friends. You can’t imagine how much I wanted to see you! It’s just wonderful that you live at the cottage! Nothing can compare to it, that’s for sure! And I’m so glad your sister is going to have a good marriage! I hope you’ll spend a lot of time at Combe Magna. It’s a lovely place, from what I've heard."
"You have been long acquainted with Colonel Brandon, have not you?"
"You've known Colonel Brandon for a while, haven't you?"
"Yes, a great while; ever since my sister married. He was a particular friend of Sir John's. I believe," she added in a low voice, "he would have been very glad to have had me, if he could. Sir John and Lady Middleton wished it very much. But mama did not think the match good enough for me, otherwise Sir John would have mentioned it to the Colonel, and we should have been married immediately."
"Yeah, for quite a while; ever since my sister got married. He was a close friend of Sir John's. I think," she added softly, "he would have really liked to have me if he could. Sir John and Lady Middleton hoped for it a lot. But my mom didn’t think he was good enough for me; otherwise, Sir John would have brought it up with the Colonel, and we would have gotten married right away."
"Did not Colonel Brandon know of Sir John's proposal to your mother before it was made? Had he never owned his affection to yourself?"[103]
"Didn't Colonel Brandon know about Sir John's proposal to your mother before it happened? Had he never admitted his feelings for you?"[103]
"Oh, no; but if mama had not objected to it, I dare say he would have liked it of all things. He had not seen me then above twice, for it was before I left school. However, I am much happier as I am. Mr. Palmer is the kind of man I like."
"Oh, no; but if Mom hadn't objected to it, I bet he would have loved it more than anything. He had only seen me a couple of times before I left school. Still, I'm much happier as I am. Mr. Palmer is exactly the kind of guy I like."
CHAPTER XXI
The Palmers returned to Cleveland the next day, and the two families at Barton were again left to entertain each other. But this did not last long; Elinor had hardly got their last visitors out of her head, had hardly done wondering at Charlotte's being so happy without a cause, at Mr. Palmer's acting so simply, with good abilities, and at the strange unsuitableness which often existed between husband and wife, before Sir John's and Mrs. Jennings's active zeal in the cause of society, procured her some other new acquaintance to see and observe.
The Palmers came back to Cleveland the next day, leaving the two families in Barton to keep each other company again. But this didn't last long; Elinor had barely finished thinking about their last visitors, hadn’t stopped wondering why Charlotte seemed so happy without any reason, why Mr. Palmer acted so straightforwardly despite his good abilities, and about the odd mismatches that often happened between husbands and wives, before Sir John and Mrs. Jennings enthusiastically jumped in to introduce her to some new people to meet and observe.
In a morning's excursion to Exeter, they had met with two young ladies, whom Mrs. Jennings had the satisfaction of discovering to be her relations, and this was enough for Sir John to invite them directly to the park, as soon as their present engagements at Exeter were over. Their engagements at Exeter instantly gave way before such an invitation, and Lady Middleton was thrown into no little alarm on the return of Sir John, by hearing that she was very soon to receive a visit from two girls whom she had never seen in her life, and of whose elegance—whose tolerable gentility even—she could have no proof; for the assurances of her husband and mother on that subject went for nothing at all. Their being her relations too made it so much the worse; and Mrs. Jennings's attempts at consolation were therefore unfortunately founded, when she advised her daughter not to care about their being so fashionable; because they were all cousins and must put up with one another. As it was impossible, however, now to prevent their coming, Lady Middleton resigned herself to the idea of it, with all the philosophy of a well-bred woman, contenting herself with merely giving her husband a gentle reprimand on the subject five or six times every day.
During a morning trip to Exeter, they encountered two young ladies whom Mrs. Jennings was pleased to find out were her relatives. This was enough for Sir John to invite them straight to the park as soon as their current plans in Exeter were finished. Their commitments in Exeter quickly became less important with such an invitation, and Lady Middleton was noticeably alarmed when Sir John returned, announcing that she would soon have a visit from two girls she had never met and had no idea about their elegance or even their decent manners. The reassurances from her husband and mother didn’t help at all. The fact that they were her relatives made it even worse, and Mrs. Jennings’s attempts to console her were unfortunately misguided when she suggested that her daughter shouldn’t worry about them being fashionable, since they were all cousins and would have to tolerate each other. However, since it was now unavoidable for them to come, Lady Middleton accepted the situation with the composure expected of a well-bred woman, contenting herself with lightly scolding her husband about it five or six times a day.
The young ladies arrived: their appearance was by no means ungenteel or unfashionable. Their dress was very smart, their manners very civil, they were delighted with the house, and in raptures with the furniture, and they happened to be so doatingly fond of children that Lady Middleton's good opinion was engaged in their favour before they had been an hour at the Park. She declared them to be very agreeable girls indeed, which for her ladyship was enthusiastic admiration. Sir John's confidence in his own judgment rose with this animated praise, and he set off directly for the cottage to tell the Miss Dashwoods of the Miss Steeles' arrival, and to assure them of their being the sweetest girls in the world. From such commendation as this, however, there was not much to be learned; Elinor well knew that the sweetest girls in the world were to be met with in every part of England, under every possible variation of form, face, temper and understanding. Sir John wanted the whole family to walk to the Park directly and look at his guests. Benevolent, philanthropic man! It was painful to him even to keep a third cousin to himself.
The young women arrived: they looked quite stylish and fashionable. Their outfits were very nice, their manners polite, they were impressed with the house, and they were thrilled with the furniture. They happened to love children so much that Lady Middleton's good opinion was won over in their favor within an hour of arriving at the Park. She declared them to be very charming girls indeed, which was high praise for her. Sir John's confidence in his own judgment grew with this enthusiastic praise, and he headed straight to the cottage to tell the Miss Dashwoods about the Miss Steeles' arrival and assure them that they were the sweetest girls in the world. However, such praise didn’t reveal much; Elinor knew that there were sweet girls like that all over England, each with their own unique looks, personalities, and intellects. Sir John wanted the whole family to walk to the Park right away to see his guests. What a kind, generous man! It even pained him to keep a third cousin to himself.
"Do come now," said he—"pray come—you must come—I declare you shall come—You can't think how you will like them. Lucy is monstrous pretty, and so good humoured and agreeable! The children are all hanging about her already, as if she was an old acquaintance. And they both long to see you of all things, for they have heard at Exeter that you are the most beautiful creatures in the world; and I have told them it is all very true, and a great deal more. You will be delighted with them I am sure. They have brought the whole coach full of playthings for the children. How can you be so cross as not to come? Why they are your cousins, you know, after a fashion. You are my cousins, and they are my wife's, so you must be related."
"Come on now," he said—"please come—you have to come—I insist you shall come—you won't believe how much you'll enjoy them. Lucy is incredibly pretty, and so friendly and easy to get along with! The kids are already all around her like she's an old friend. And they can't wait to see you because they've heard in Exeter that you are the most beautiful people in the world; and I've told them it's all true, and even more. I’m sure you’ll love them. They’ve brought a whole coach full of toys for the kids. How can you be so stubborn as not to come? Well, they are your cousins, in a way. You are my cousins, and they are my wife's, so it makes sense that you’re related."
But Sir John could not prevail. He could only obtain a promise of their calling at the Park within a day or two, and then left them in amazement at their indifference, to walk home and boast anew of their attractions to the Miss Steeles, as he had been already boasting of the Miss Steeles to them.
But Sir John couldn't succeed. He could only get them to promise to visit the Park in a day or two, and then he left them, amazed at their indifference, to walk home and brag again about their charms to the Miss Steeles, just as he had been bragging about the Miss Steeles to them.
When their promised visit to the Park and consequent introduction to these young ladies took place, they found in[105] the appearance of the eldest, who was nearly thirty, with a very plain and not a sensible face, nothing to admire; but in the other, who was not more than two or three and twenty, they acknowledged considerable beauty; her features were pretty, and she had a sharp quick eye, and a smartness of air, which though it did not give actual elegance or grace, gave distinction to her person. Their manners were particularly civil, and Elinor soon allowed them credit for some kind of sense, when she saw with what constant and judicious attention they were making themselves agreeable to Lady Middleton. With her children they were in continual raptures, extolling their beauty, courting their notice, and humouring their whims; and such of their time as could be spared from the importunate demands which this politeness made on it, was spent in admiration of whatever her ladyship was doing, if she happened to be doing any thing, or in taking patterns of some elegant new dress, in which her appearance the day before had thrown them into unceasing delight. Fortunately for those who pay their court through such foibles, a fond mother, though, in pursuit of praise for her children, the most rapacious of human beings, is likewise the most credulous; her demands are exorbitant; but she will swallow any thing; and the excessive affection and endurance of the Miss Steeles towards her offspring were viewed therefore by Lady Middleton without the smallest surprise or distrust. She saw with maternal complacency all the impertinent encroachments and mischievous tricks to which her cousins submitted. She saw their sashes untied, their hair pulled about their ears, their work-bags searched, and their knives and scissors stolen away, and felt no doubt of its being a reciprocal enjoyment. It suggested no other surprise than that Elinor and Marianne should sit so composedly by, without claiming a share in what was passing.
When their promised visit to the Park and introduction to these young ladies finally happened, they found that in[105] the eldest, who was nearly thirty, had a very plain and unremarkable face that wasn't worth admiring. However, the other young lady, who was no more than two or three-and-twenty, was acknowledged as quite beautiful; her features were pretty, she had sharp, quick eyes, and a lively demeanor that, while not exactly elegant or graceful, added a certain distinction to her presence. Their manners were particularly polite, and Elinor soon recognized some level of intelligence in them when she noticed how consistently and thoughtfully they were trying to win over Lady Middleton. With her children, they were constantly showering praise, talking up their beauty, seeking their attention, and catering to their whims; any time they could spare from the demands of this politeness was spent admiring whatever Lady Middleton was doing, if she was doing anything, or taking notes on some stylish new dress that had delighted them the day before. Fortunately for those who flatter through such silly behaviors, a doting mother, while being the most greedy in seeking praise for her children, is also the most gullible; her expectations are high, yet she will believe anything. Thus, the excessive affection and patience that the Miss Steeles showed towards her children were viewed by Lady Middleton without the slightest surprise or doubt. She observed with maternal satisfaction all the annoying intrusions and mischievous antics that her cousins endured. She watched as their sashes were untied, their hair was tousled, their workbags were rummaged through, and their knives and scissors were taken away, feeling no doubt that it was all a shared enjoyment. The only surprise was that Elinor and Marianne sat so calmly by without trying to join in on the fun.
"John is in such spirits today!" said she, on his taking Miss Steele's pocket handkerchief, and throwing it out of window—"He is full of monkey tricks."
"John is in such a good mood today!" she said, as he grabbed Miss Steele's pocket handkerchief and tossed it out the window—"He’s full of antics."
And soon afterwards, on the second boy's violently pinching one of the same lady's fingers, she fondly observed, "How playful William is!"
And soon after, when the second boy violently pinched one of the same lady's fingers, she affectionately remarked, "How playful William is!"
"And here is my sweet little Annamaria," she added, tenderly caressing a little girl of three years old, who had not [107]made a noise for the last two minutes; "And she is always so gentle and quiet—Never was there such a quiet little thing!"
"And here is my sweet little Annamaria," she said, gently stroking a three-year-old girl who hadn’t [107]made a sound for the last two minutes; "And she’s always so gentle and quiet—There’s never been such a quiet little one!"
But unfortunately in bestowing these embraces, a pin in her ladyship's head dress slightly scratching the child's neck, produced from this pattern of gentleness such violent screams, as could hardly be outdone by any creature professedly noisy. The mother's consternation was excessive; but it could not surpass the alarm of the Miss Steeles, and every thing was done by all three, in so critical an emergency, which affection could suggest as likely to assuage the agonies of the little sufferer. She was seated in her mother's lap, covered with kisses, her wound bathed with lavender-water, by one of the Miss Steeles, who was on her knees to attend her, and her mouth stuffed with sugar plums by the other. With such a reward for her tears, the child was too wise to cease crying. She still screamed and sobbed lustily, kicked her two brothers for offering to touch her, and all their united soothings were ineffectual till Lady Middleton luckily remembering that in a scene of similar distress last week, some apricot marmalade had been successfully applied for a bruised temple, the same remedy was eagerly proposed for this unfortunate scratch, and a slight intermission of screams in the young lady on hearing it, gave them reason to hope that it would not be rejected. She was carried out of the room therefore in her mother's arms, in quest of this medicine, and as the two boys chose to follow, though earnestly entreated by their mother to stay behind, the four young ladies were left in a quietness which the room had not known for many hours.
But unfortunately, while giving these hugs, a pin in her ladyship's headpiece scratched the child's neck a bit, causing such loud screams that it was hard to imagine anything more raucous. The mother's panic was huge; however, it couldn't match the alarm of the Miss Steeles, and all three did everything they could think of to ease the little one's suffering. She sat in her mother's lap, covered in kisses, her wound being treated with lavender water by one of the Miss Steeles, who was kneeling beside her, and her mouth was stuffed with sugar plums by the other. With such a reward for her tears, the child was too clever to stop crying. She continued to scream and sob loudly, kicking her two brothers for trying to touch her, and all their attempts to comfort her failed until Lady Middleton remembered that during a similar situation last week, some apricot marmalade had worked wonders for a bruised forehead. This same remedy was quickly suggested for the unfortunate scratch, and the slight pause in the little girl's screams upon hearing it gave them hope that she might accept it. So, she was carried out of the room in her mother's arms to get this remedy, and since the two boys decided to follow despite their mother's pleas to stay behind, the four young ladies were left in a peace that the room hadn't seen for many hours.
"Poor little creatures!" said Miss Steele, as soon as they were gone. "It might have been a very sad accident."
"Poor little creatures!" said Miss Steele, as soon as they left. "It could have been a really tragic accident."
"Yet I hardly know how," cried Marianne, "unless it had been under totally different circumstances. But this is the usual way of heightening alarm, where there is nothing to be alarmed at in reality."
"Yet I barely know how," cried Marianne, "unless it had been in completely different circumstances. But this is just how people tend to exaggerate concern when there's actually nothing to worry about."
"What a sweet woman Lady Middleton is!" said Lucy Steele.
"What a sweet woman Lady Middleton is!" said Lucy Steele.
Marianne was silent; it was impossible for her to say what she did not feel, however trivial the occasion; and upon Elinor therefore the whole task of telling lies when politeness required it, always fell. She did her best when thus called on, by speaking of Lady Middleton with more warmth than she felt, though with far less than Miss Lucy.
Marianne was quiet; she couldn't express what she didn’t genuinely feel, no matter how minor the situation was. Because of this, the entire burden of telling white lies when manners demanded it always fell on Elinor. She did her best when she had to, by talking about Lady Middleton with more enthusiasm than she actually felt, though it was still much less than Miss Lucy.
"And Sir John too," cried the elder sister, "what a charming man he is!"
"And Sir John too," exclaimed the older sister, "what a delightful guy he is!"
Here too, Miss Dashwood's commendation, being only simple and just, came in without any éclat. She merely observed that he was perfectly good humoured and friendly.
Here too, Miss Dashwood's praise, being straightforward and fair, came in without any fanfare. She simply noted that he was completely good-natured and friendly.
"And what a charming little family they have! I never saw such fine children in my life. I declare I quite doat upon them already, and indeed I am always distractedly fond of children."
"And what a lovely little family they have! I've never seen such wonderful kids in my life. I have to say, I'm already quite taken with them, and honestly, I've always been really fond of children."
"I should guess so," said Elinor, with a smile, "from what I have witnessed this morning."
"I guess that's true," said Elinor, with a smile, "based on what I've seen this morning."
"I have a notion," said Lucy, "you think the little Middletons rather too much indulged; perhaps they may be the outside of enough; but it is so natural in Lady Middleton; and for my part, I love to see children full of life and spirits; I cannot bear them if they are tame and quiet."
"I have an idea," Lucy said, "you think the little Middletons are a bit too spoiled; maybe they are a little too much, but it's just how Lady Middleton is. Personally, I love to see kids energetic and full of life; I can't stand them if they're too quiet and subdued."
"I confess," replied Elinor, "that while I am at Barton Park, I never think of tame and quiet children with any abhorrence."
"I admit," Elinor replied, "that while I'm at Barton Park, I never think of calm and quiet children with any disgust."
A short pause succeeded this speech, which was first broken by Miss Steele, who seemed very much disposed for conversation, and who now said rather abruptly, "And how do you like Devonshire, Miss Dashwood? I suppose you were very sorry to leave Sussex."
A brief pause followed this speech, which was first interrupted by Miss Steele, who seemed quite eager to chat and then said rather suddenly, "So, how are you finding Devonshire, Miss Dashwood? I take it you were really sad to leave Sussex."
In some surprise at the familiarity of this question, or at least of the manner in which it was spoken, Elinor replied that she was.
Surprised by how familiar the question sounded or at least by the way it was asked, Elinor replied that she was.
"Norland is a prodigious beautiful place, is not it?" added Miss Steele.
"Norland is an incredibly beautiful place, isn't it?" added Miss Steele.
"We have heard Sir John admire it excessively," said Lucy, who seemed to think some apology necessary for the freedom of her sister.
"We've heard Sir John praise it a lot," said Lucy, who felt she needed to apologize for her sister's boldness.
"I think every one must admire it," replied Elinor, "who ever saw the place; though it is not to be supposed that any one can estimate its beauties as we do."
"I think everyone must admire it," Elinor replied, "who has ever seen the place; though it's hard to believe that anyone can appreciate its beauty like we do."
"And had you a great many smart beaux there? I suppose you have not so many in this part of the world; for my part, I think they are a vast addition always."
"And did you have a lot of charming guys around? I guess you don't have as many in this part of the world; for my part, I think they’re always a huge plus."
"But why should you think," said Lucy, looking ashamed of her sister, "that there are not as many genteel young men in Devonshire as Sussex?"
"But why do you think," said Lucy, looking embarrassed for her sister, "that there aren't as many refined young men in Devonshire as in Sussex?"
"Nay, my dear, I'm sure I don't pretend to say that there[109] an't. I'm sure there's a vast many smart beaux in Exeter; but you know, how could I tell what smart beaux there might be about Norland; and I was only afraid the Miss Dashwoods might find it dull at Barton, if they had not so many as they used to have. But perhaps you young ladies may not care about the beaux, and had as lief be without them as with them. For my part, I think they are vastly agreeable, provided they dress smart and behave civil. But I can't bear to see them dirty and nasty. Now there's Mr. Rose at Exeter, a prodigious smart young man, quite a beau, clerk to Mr. Simpson, you know, and yet if you do but meet him of a morning, he is not fit to be seen. I suppose your brother was quite a beau, Miss Dashwood, before he married, as he was so rich?"
"No, my dear, I’m not saying there aren’t any. I’m sure there are quite a few charming guys in Exeter; but you know, how could I know what charming guys there might be around Norland? I was just worried that the Miss Dashwoods might find it boring at Barton if there weren't as many as they used to have. But maybe you young ladies don’t care about the guys and would prefer to do without them. Personally, I think they’re quite pleasant, as long as they dress well and act nicely. But I can’t stand it when they’re dirty and messy. Take Mr. Rose in Exeter, a really stylish young man, quite the charmer, clerk to Mr. Simpson, you know; yet if you see him in the morning, he looks a mess. I suppose your brother was quite a charmer, Miss Dashwood, before he got married, since he was so wealthy?"
"Upon my word," replied Elinor, "I cannot tell you, for I do not perfectly comprehend the meaning of the word. But this I can say, that if he ever was a beau before he married, he is one still for there is not the smallest alteration in him."
"Honestly," Elinor replied, "I can't say for sure because I don't completely understand what that means. But I will say this: if he was a charming guy before he got married, he still is, because there's been no change in him at all."
"Oh! dear! one never thinks of married men's being beaux—they have something else to do."
"Oh! dear! one never thinks of married men being charming—they have other things to focus on."
"Lord! Anne," cried her sister, "you can talk of nothing but beaux;—you will make Miss Dashwood believe you think of nothing else." And then to turn the discourse, she began admiring the house and the furniture.
"Wow! Anne," her sister exclaimed, "you only talk about guys; you're going to make Miss Dashwood think that's all you care about." Then, to change the subject, she started complimenting the house and the furniture.
This specimen of the Miss Steeles was enough. The vulgar freedom and folly of the eldest left her no recommendation, and as Elinor was not blinded by the beauty, or the shrewd look of the youngest, to her want of real elegance and artlessness, she left the house without any wish of knowing them better.
This example of the Miss Steeles was sufficient. The crude behavior and foolishness of the oldest provided her with no appeal, and since Elinor wasn’t deceived by the beauty or the sly look of the youngest, who lacked true grace and sincerity, she left the house with no desire to get to know them better.
Not so the Miss Steeles. They came from Exeter, well provided with admiration for the use of Sir John Middleton, his family, and all his relations, and no niggardly proportion was now dealt out to his fair cousins, whom they declared to be the most beautiful, elegant, accomplished, and agreeable girls they had ever beheld, and with whom they were particularly anxious to be better acquainted. And to be better acquainted therefore, Elinor soon found was their inevitable lot, for as Sir John was entirely on the side of the Miss Steeles, their party would be too strong for opposition, and that kind of intimacy must be submitted to, which consists of sitting an hour or two together in the same room almost every[110] day. Sir John could do no more; but he did not know that any more was required: to be together was, in his opinion, to be intimate, and while his continual schemes for their meeting were effectual, he had not a doubt of their being established friends.
Not so with the Miss Steeles. They came from Exeter, fully equipped with compliments for Sir John Middleton, his family, and all his relatives, and they didn’t hold back in praising his beautiful cousins, whom they claimed were the most stunning, refined, accomplished, and charming girls they had ever seen, and they were particularly eager to get to know them better. Elinor quickly realized that getting to know them better was unavoidable, since Sir John was completely on the side of the Miss Steeles, and their group was too strong for any opposition. Thus, they would have to endure that kind of familiarity which involves spending an hour or two together in the same room almost every[110] day. Sir John couldn’t do anything more; but he didn’t realize that more was needed: to him, just being together was enough to be considered close, and as long as his constant plans for their meetings went smoothly, he had no doubt they were becoming good friends.
To do him justice, he did every thing in his power to promote their unreserve, by making the Miss Steeles acquainted with whatever he knew or supposed of his cousins' situations in the most delicate particulars,—and Elinor had not seen them more than twice, before the eldest of them wished her joy on her sister's having been so lucky as to make a conquest of a very smart beau since she came to Barton.
To be fair to him, he did everything he could to encourage their openness by sharing with the Miss Steeles whatever he knew or thought about his cousins' situations, even the most sensitive details—and Elinor had only seen them a couple of times before the older sister congratulated her on her sister's good fortune in winning over a really charming guy since arriving in Barton.
"'Twill be a fine thing to have her married so young to be sure," said she, "and I hear he is quite a beau, and prodigious handsome. And I hope you may have as good luck yourself soon,—but perhaps you may have a friend in the corner already."
"It'll be great for her to get married so young, that's for sure," she said, "and I hear he's quite the catch and really good-looking. I hope you find just as much luck yourself soon—but maybe you already have someone on the side."
Elinor could not suppose that Sir John would be more nice in proclaiming his suspicions of her regard for Edward, than he had been with respect to Marianne; indeed it was rather his favourite joke of the two, as being somewhat newer and more conjectural; and since Edward's visit, they had never dined together without his drinking to her best affections with so much significancy and so many nods and winks, as to excite general attention. The letter F had been likewise invariably brought forward, and found productive of such countless jokes, that its character as the wittiest letter in the alphabet had been long established with Elinor.
Elinor couldn't imagine that Sir John would be any more careful about expressing his suspicions regarding her feelings for Edward than he had been about Marianne. In fact, it was one of his favorite jokes, mostly because it was newer and more speculative; ever since Edward's visit, they hadn't had dinner together without him toasting to her best feelings with so much emphasis and so many nods and winks that it attracted everyone's attention. The letter F had also been consistently brought up and led to so many jokes that it had long been established as the wittiest letter in the alphabet, at least in Elinor's opinion.
The Miss Steeles, as she expected, had now all the benefit of these jokes, and in the eldest of them they raised a curiosity to know the name of the gentleman alluded to, which, though often impertinently expressed, was perfectly of a piece with her general inquisitiveness into the concerns of their family. But Sir John did not sport long with the curiosity which he delighted to raise, for he had at least as much pleasure in telling the name, as Miss Steele had in hearing it.
The Miss Steeles, just as she expected, were now fully enjoying these jokes, and in the eldest of them, they sparked a curiosity to know the name of the gentleman mentioned. Although her inquiries were often a bit nosy, they were completely in line with her usual interest in their family matters. However, Sir John didn't tease them for long with the curiosity he enjoyed creating, as he took just as much pleasure in revealing the name as Miss Steele did in hearing it.
"His name is Ferrars," said he, in a very audible whisper; "but pray do not tell it, for it's a great secret."
"His name is Ferrars," he said in a loud whisper. "But please don't mention it; it's a big secret."
"Ferrars!" repeated Miss Steele; "Mr. Ferrars is the happy man, is he? What! your sister-in-law's brother, Miss [112]Dashwood? a very agreeable young man to be sure; I know him very well."
"Ferrars!" Miss Steele said again. "Mr. Ferrars is the lucky guy, right? What? Your sister-in-law's brother, Miss [112]Dashwood? A really nice young man, for sure; I know him quite well."
"How can you say so, Anne?" cried Lucy, who generally made an amendment to all her sister's assertions. "Though we have seen him once or twice at my uncle's, it is rather too much to pretend to know him very well."
"How can you say that, Anne?" exclaimed Lucy, who usually corrected all her sister's statements. "Even though we've seen him a couple of times at my uncle's, it’s a bit much to act like we know him very well."
Elinor heard all this with attention and surprise. "And who was this uncle? Where did he live? How came they acquainted?" She wished very much to have the subject continued, though she did not choose to join in it herself; but nothing more of it was said, and for the first time in her life, she thought Mrs. Jennings deficient either in curiosity after petty information, or in a disposition to communicate it. The manner in which Miss Steele had spoken of Edward, increased her curiosity; for it struck her as being rather ill-natured, and suggested the suspicion of that lady's knowing, or fancying herself to know something to his disadvantage. But her curiosity was unavailing, for no farther notice was taken of Mr. Ferrars's name by Miss Steele when alluded to, or even openly mentioned by Sir John.
Elinor listened to all of this with interest and surprise. "Who was this uncle? Where does he live? How did they meet?" She really wanted the topic to continue, even though she didn’t want to participate herself; but nothing more was said, and for the first time in her life, she thought Mrs. Jennings lacked either curiosity about small details or a willingness to share them. The way Miss Steele talked about Edward made her even more curious; it seemed a bit mean-spirited and hinted that the lady might know, or think she knew, something negative about him. But her curiosity was in vain, as Miss Steele gave no further mention of Mr. Ferrars's name when referred to, nor did Sir John bring it up openly.
CHAPTER XXII
Marianne, who had never much toleration for any thing like impertinence, vulgarity, inferiority of parts, or even difference of taste from herself, was at this time particularly ill-disposed, from the state of her spirits, to be pleased with the Miss Steeles, or to encourage their advances; and to the invariable coldness of her behaviour towards them, which checked every endeavour at intimacy on their side, Elinor principally attributed that preference of herself which soon became evident in the manners of both, but especially of Lucy, who missed no opportunity of engaging her in conversation, or of striving to improve their acquaintance by an easy and frank communication of her sentiments.
Marianne, who had never tolerated anything like rudeness, crudeness, lack of intelligence, or even different tastes from her own, was particularly unfriendly at this time due to her mood, making it hard for her to be pleased with the Miss Steeles or to encourage their attempts to get closer. Elinor mainly attributed the clear preference that both Miss Steeles showed for her to Marianne's consistently cold behavior towards them, which shut down any attempts on their part to become closer. Lucy, in particular, seized every opportunity to engage Elinor in conversation and to deepen their relationship through open and honest sharing of her thoughts.
Lucy was naturally clever; her remarks were often just and amusing; and as a companion for half an hour Elinor frequently found her agreeable; but her powers had received[113] no aid from education: she was ignorant and illiterate; and her deficiency of all mental improvement, her want of information in the most common particulars, could not be concealed from Miss Dashwood, in spite of her constant endeavour to appear to advantage. Elinor saw, and pitied her for, the neglect of abilities which education might have rendered so respectable; but she saw, with less tenderness of feeling, the thorough want of delicacy, of rectitude, and integrity of mind, which her attentions, her assiduities, her flatteries at the Park betrayed; and she could have no lasting satisfaction in the company of a person who joined insincerity with ignorance; whose want of instruction prevented their meeting in conversation on terms of equality, and whose conduct toward others made every show of attention and deference towards herself perfectly valueless.
Lucy was naturally clever; her comments were often fair and funny; and as a companion for half an hour, Elinor frequently found her enjoyable. However, Lucy hadn’t received any help from education: she was uninformed and uneducated; her lack of mental growth and her ignorance of basic facts couldn’t be hidden from Miss Dashwood, despite her constant efforts to present herself well. Elinor noticed this and felt sorry for her because her abilities could have been impressive with proper education; but she felt less compassion towards Lucy's complete lack of subtlety, morality, and integrity, which her flattery and attentiveness at the Park revealed. Elinor couldn't find lasting joy in the company of someone who combined insincerity with ignorance; Lucy's lack of knowledge prevented their conversations from being equal, and her behavior towards others made any show of attention and respect towards Elinor completely meaningless.
"You will think my question an odd one, I dare say," said Lucy to her one day, as they were walking together from the park to the cottage—"but pray, are you personally acquainted with your sister-in-law's mother, Mrs. Ferrars?"
"You might find my question a bit strange, I know," said Lucy to her one day as they walked from the park to the cottage—"but could you let me know if you know your sister-in-law's mother, Mrs. Ferrars?"
Elinor did think the question a very odd one, and her countenance expressed it, as she answered that she had never seen Mrs. Ferrars.
Elinor did think the question was really strange, and her face showed it as she replied that she had never met Mrs. Ferrars.
"Indeed!" replied Lucy; "I wonder at that, for I thought you must have seen her at Norland sometimes. Then, perhaps, you cannot tell me what sort of a woman she is?"
"Really!" Lucy replied. "I find that surprising, because I thought you must have seen her at Norland before. So, maybe you can’t tell me what kind of woman she is?"
"No," returned Elinor, cautious of giving her real opinion of Edward's mother, and not very desirous of satisfying what seemed impertinent curiosity; "I know nothing of her."
"No," Elinor replied, careful not to share her true feelings about Edward's mother and not really interested in satisfying what seemed like rude curiosity; "I don't know anything about her."
"I am sure you think me very strange, for enquiring about her in such a way," said Lucy, eyeing Elinor attentively as she spoke; "but perhaps there may be reasons—I wish I might venture; but however I hope you will do me the justice of believing that I do not mean to be impertinent."
"I’m sure you think I’m really odd for asking about her like this," Lucy said, watching Elinor closely as she spoke. "But maybe there are reasons—I wish I could say more; still, I hope you’ll believe that I don't intend to be rude."
Elinor made her a civil reply, and they walked on for a few minutes in silence. It was broken by Lucy, who renewed the subject again by saying, with some hesitation—
Elinor gave her a polite response, and they walked in silence for a few minutes. Lucy broke the silence, hesitatingly bringing the topic up again by saying—
"I cannot bear to have you think me impertinently curious. I am sure I would rather do any thing in the world than be thought so by a person whose good opinion is so well worth having as yours. And I am sure I should not have the smallest fear of trusting you; indeed, I should be very glad of your[114] advice how to manage in such and uncomfortable situation as I am; but, however, there is no occasion to trouble you. I am sorry you do not happen to know Mrs. Ferrars."
"I can't stand the thought of you thinking I'm being nosy. I would honestly prefer to do anything else than have that impression from someone whose opinion I value so much, like yours. And I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to trust you; in fact, I’d really appreciate your[114] advice on how to handle such an awkward situation I'm in. But still, there's no need to bother you. I wish you knew Mrs. Ferrars."
"I am sorry I do not," said Elinor, in great astonishment, "if it could be of any use to you to know my opinion of her. But really I never understood that you were at all connected with that family, and therefore I am a little surprised, I confess, at so serious an inquiry into her character."
"I’m sorry, I don’t," said Elinor, clearly surprised. "If it would help you to know my opinion of her. But honestly, I never realized you were connected to that family at all, so I’m a bit taken aback, I admit, by such a serious question about her character."
"I dare say you are, and I am sure I do not at all wonder at it. But if I dared tell you all, you would not be so much surprised. Mrs. Ferrars is certainly nothing to me at present—but the time may come—how soon it will come must depend upon herself—when we may be very intimately connected."
"I must say you are, and honestly, I’m not at all surprised. But if I could share everything with you, you wouldn’t be as shocked. Mrs. Ferrars isn’t significant to me right now—but the time might come—how soon that happens depends on her—when we could be very closely connected."
She looked down as she said this, amiably bashful, with only one side glance at her companion to observe its effect on her.
She looked down as she said this, charmingly shy, giving only a quick glance at her companion to see how it affected her.
"Good heavens!" cried Elinor, "what do you mean? Are you acquainted with Mr. Robert Ferrars? Can you be?" And she did not feel much delighted with the idea of such a sister-in-law.
"Good heavens!" exclaimed Elinor, "what do you mean? Do you know Mr. Robert Ferrars? Is that possible?" And she wasn’t too thrilled about the idea of having such a sister-in-law.
"No," replied Lucy, "not to Mr. Robert Ferrars—I never saw him in my life; but," fixing her eyes upon Elinor, "to his eldest brother."
"No," replied Lucy, "not to Mr. Robert Ferrars—I’ve never seen him in my life; but," fixing her eyes on Elinor, "to his older brother."
What felt Elinor at that moment? Astonishment, that would have been as painful as it was strong, had not an immediate disbelief of the assertion attended it. She turned towards Lucy in silent amazement, unable to divine the reason or object of such a declaration; and though her complexion varied, she stood firm in incredulity, and felt in no danger of an hysterical fit, or a swoon.
What was Elinor feeling at that moment? Astonishment, which would have been as painful as it was intense, was tempered by her immediate disbelief in the statement. She looked at Lucy in silent shock, unable to understand the reason or purpose behind such a declaration; and although her complexion changed, she remained steadfast in her disbelief, feeling no threat of a hysterical episode or fainting.
"You may well be surprised," continued Lucy; "for to be sure you could have had no idea of it before; for I dare say he never dropped the smallest hint of it to you or any of your family; because it was always meant to be a great secret, and I am sure has been faithfully kept so by me to this hour. Not a soul of all my relations know of it but Anne, and I never should have mentioned it to you, if I had not felt the greatest dependence in the world upon your secrecy; and I really thought my behaviour in asking so many questions about Mrs. Ferrars must seem so odd, that it ought to be explained. And I do not think Mr. Ferrars can be displeased, when he knows I have trusted you, because I know he has the highest opinion in the world of all your family, and looks upon yourself and the other Miss Dashwoods quite as his own sisters."—She paused.
"You might be surprised," Lucy continued, "because you definitely wouldn’t have had any idea about it before. I’m sure he never hinted at it to you or anyone in your family, since it was always meant to be a big secret, and I can honestly say I’ve kept it faithfully to this day. No one in my family knows about it except for Anne, and I wouldn’t have mentioned it to you if I hadn’t felt an immense trust in your ability to keep it confidential. I really thought that my behavior in asking so many questions about Mrs. Ferrars must seem strange, and I felt it needed to be explained. I don’t think Mr. Ferrars will be upset when he finds out I’ve trusted you, because I know he thinks highly of your family and sees you and the other Miss Dashwoods as his own sisters." — She paused.
Elinor for a few moments remained silent. Her astonishment at what she heard was at first too great for words; but at length forcing herself to speak, and to speak cautiously, she said, with calmness of manner, which tolerably well concealed her surprise and solicitude—"May I ask if your engagement is of long standing?"
Elinor stayed quiet for a few moments. Her shock at what she heard was initially too overwhelming for words; but finally, pushing herself to speak—and to do so carefully—she said, with a calm demeanor that mostly hid her surprise and concern, "Can I ask if your engagement has been a long one?"
"We have been engaged these four years."
"We've been engaged for four years."
"Four years!"
"Four years!"
"Yes."
Yes.
Elinor, though greatly shocked, still felt unable to believe it.
Elinor, although deeply shocked, still found it hard to accept.
"I did not know," said she, "that you were even acquainted till the other day."
"I didn't know," she said, "that you even knew each other until recently."
"Our acquaintance, however, is of many years date. He was under my uncle's care, you know, a considerable while."
"Our acquaintance, however, goes back many years. He was under my uncle's care for quite some time."
"Your uncle!"
"Your uncle!"
"Yes; Mr. Pratt. Did you never hear him talk of Mr. Pratt?"
"Yeah, Mr. Pratt. Haven’t you ever heard him talk about Mr. Pratt?"
"I think I have," replied Elinor, with an exertion of spirits, which increased with her increase of emotion.
"I think I have," Elinor replied, her spirits lifting as her emotions grew.
"He was four years with my uncle, who lives at Longstaple, near Plymouth. It was there our acquaintance begun, for my sister and me was often staying with my uncle, and it was there our engagement was formed, though not till a year after he had quitted as a pupil; but he was almost always with us afterwards. I was very unwilling to enter into it, as you may imagine, without the knowledge and approbation of his mother; but I was too young, and loved him too well, to be so prudent as I ought to have been. Though you do not know him so well as me, Miss Dashwood, you must have seen enough of him to be sensible he is very capable of making a woman sincerely attached to him."
"He spent four years with my uncle, who lives in Longstaple, near Plymouth. That’s where we first got to know each other, since my sister and I often visited my uncle, and that's also where our engagement started, although it didn’t happen until a year after he left as a pupil; but he was almost always with us after that. I was really hesitant to get into it, as you can imagine, without his mother knowing and approving; but I was too young and loved him too much to be as careful as I should have been. Even though you don’t know him as well as I do, Miss Dashwood, you must have seen enough of him to realize he can easily make a woman genuinely care for him."
"Certainly," answered Elinor, without knowing what she said; but after a moment's reflection, she added, with revived security of Edward's honour and love, and her companion's falsehood—"Engaged to Mr. Edward Ferrars!—I confess myself so totally surprised at what you tell me, that really—I beg your pardon; but surely there must be some mistake of person or name. We cannot mean the same Mr. Ferrars."[117]
"Of course," Elinor replied, not fully aware of what she was saying; but after a moment of thought, feeling reassured about Edward's honor and love, and aware of her companion's deception—"Engaged to Mr. Edward Ferrars!—I'm honestly so completely surprised by what you're telling me that—I apologize; but there must be some mix-up with the person or the name. We can't be talking about the same Mr. Ferrars." [117]
"We can mean no other," cried Lucy, smiling. "Mr. Edward Ferrars, the eldest son of Mrs. Ferrars, of Park Street, and brother of your sister-in-law, Mrs. John Dashwood, is the person I mean; you must allow that I am not likely to be deceived as to the name of the man on who all my happiness depends."
"We can mean no one else," Lucy exclaimed, smiling. "Mr. Edward Ferrars, the eldest son of Mrs. Ferrars from Park Street, and the brother of your sister-in-law, Mrs. John Dashwood, is the person I'm talking about; you have to agree that I'm not likely to be mistaken about the name of the man on whom all my happiness depends."
"It is strange," replied Elinor, in a most painful perplexity, "that I should never have heard him even mention your name."
"It’s odd," Elinor replied, clearly troubled, "that I’ve never even heard him say your name."
"No; considering our situation, it was not strange. Our first care has been to keep the matter secret. You knew nothing of me, or my family, and, therefore, there could be no occasion for ever mentioning my name to you; and, as he was always particularly afraid of his sister's suspecting any thing, that was reason enough for his not mentioning it."
"No, given our situation, it wasn’t unusual. Our main priority has been to keep this a secret. You didn’t know anything about me or my family, so there was no reason for me to ever mention my name to you. Plus, he was always particularly worried about his sister suspecting anything, so that was enough reason for him not to bring it up."
She was silent. Elinor's security sunk; but her self-command did not sink with it.
She stayed quiet. Elinor's sense of security faded, but her self-control remained intact.
"Four years you have been engaged," said she with a firm voice.
"Four years you've been engaged," she said confidently.
"Yes; and heaven knows how much longer we may have to wait. Poor Edward! It puts him quite out of heart." Then taking a small miniature from her pocket, she added, "To prevent the possibility of mistake, be so good as to look at this face. It does not do him justice, to be sure, but yet I think you cannot be deceived as to the person it was drew for. I have had it above these three years."
"Yes, and who knows how much longer we might have to wait. Poor Edward! It really discourages him." Then, pulling a small picture out of her pocket, she added, "To avoid any confusion, please take a look at this face. It doesn’t fully capture him, but I believe you won’t be mistaken about who it’s meant to portray. I've had it for over three years."
She put it into her hands as she spoke; and when Elinor saw the painting, whatever other doubts her fear of a too hasty decision, or her wish of detecting falsehood might suffer to linger in her mind, she could have none of its being Edward's face. She returned it almost instantly, acknowledging the likeness.
She held it in her hands as she spoke, and when Elinor saw the painting, any remaining doubts caused by her fear of making a hurried decision or her desire to uncover any lies quickly vanished. She had no doubt that it was Edward's face. She almost immediately handed it back, admitting the resemblance.
"I have never been able," continued Lucy, "to give him my picture in return, which I am very much vexed at, for he has been always so anxious to get it! But I am determined to set for it the very first opportunity."
"I've never been able," Lucy continued, "to give him my picture in return, which really bothers me, because he's always been so eager to get it! But I'm determined to pose for it at the very first chance I get."
"You are quite in the right," replied Elinor calmly. They then proceeded a few paces in silence. Lucy spoke first.
"You’re absolutely right," Elinor replied calmly. They then walked a few steps in silence. Lucy was the first to speak.
"I am sure," said she, "I have no doubt in the world of your faithfully keeping this secret, because you must know of what importance it is to us, not to have it reach his mother;[118] for she would never approve of it, I dare say. I shall have no fortune, and I fancy she is an exceeding proud woman."
"I’m sure," she said, "I have no doubt at all that you’ll keep this secret, because you know how important it is for us that it doesn't get to his mother;[118] because I’m sure she wouldn’t approve. I won’t have any money, and I think she’s a really proud woman."
"I certainly did not seek your confidence," said Elinor; "but you do me no more than justice in imagining that I may be depended on. Your secret is safe with me; but pardon me if I express some surprise at so unnecessary a communication. You must at least have felt that my being acquainted with it could not add to its safety."
"I definitely didn't ask for your trust," Elinor said. "But you're being fair in thinking that you can rely on me. Your secret is safe with me, but forgive me for being a bit surprised by such an unnecessary disclosure. You must have realized that me knowing it wouldn't actually make it any safer."
As she said this, she looked earnestly at Lucy, hoping to discover something in her countenance; perhaps the falsehood of the greatest part of what she had been saying; but Lucy's countenance suffered no change.
As she said this, she looked intently at Lucy, hoping to find some indication on her face; maybe the truth behind most of what she had been saying was a lie; but Lucy's expression showed no change.
"I was afraid you would think I was taking a great liberty with you," said she, "in telling you all this. I have not known you long to be sure, personally at least, but I have known you and all your family by description a great while; and as soon as I saw you, I felt almost as if you was an old acquaintance. Besides in the present case, I really thought some explanation was due to you after my making such particular inquiries about Edward's mother; and I am so unfortunate, that I have not a creature whose advice I can ask. Anne is the only person that knows of it, and she has no judgment at all; indeed, she does me a great deal more harm than good, for I am in constant fear of her betraying me. She does not know how to hold her tongue, as you must perceive, and I am sure I was in the greatest fright in the world t'other day, when Edward's name was mentioned by Sir John, lest she should out with it all. You can't think how much I go through in my mind from it altogether. I only wonder that I am alive after what I have suffered for Edward's sake these last four years. Every thing in such suspense and uncertainty; and seeing him so seldom—we can hardly meet above twice a-year. I am sure I wonder my heart is not quite broke."
"I was worried you might think I was overstepping by sharing all this with you," she said. "I haven't known you long enough to feel totally sure about you, at least personally, but I've known you and your family through stories for quite a while. The moment I saw you, it felt like meeting an old friend. Plus, in this situation, I really thought it was only fair to explain myself after asking so many questions about Edward's mother. Unfortunately, I don't have anyone to turn to for advice. Anne is the only one who knows, and she’s not very helpful; in fact, she causes me more stress than anything because I'm always worried she might spill the secret. You must have noticed she can't keep quiet, and I was terrified the other day when Sir John mentioned Edward's name that she might blurt everything out. You have no idea how many thoughts race through my mind about all this. I honestly can’t believe I’m still standing after everything I've gone through for Edward these past four years. Everything is filled with uncertainty and suspense, and we hardly get to see each other more than twice a year. It’s a wonder my heart hasn’t completely broken."
Here she took out her handkerchief; but Elinor did not feel very compassionate.
Here she pulled out her handkerchief, but Elinor didn’t feel very sympathetic.
"Sometimes," continued Lucy, after wiping her eyes, "I think whether it would not be better for us both to break off the matter entirely." As she said this, she looked directly at her companion. "But then at other times I have not resolution enough for it. I cannot bear the thoughts of making him so miserable, as I know the very mention of such a thing[119] would do. And on my own account too—so dear as he is to me—I don't think I could be equal to it. What would you advise me to do in such a case, Miss Dashwood? What would you do yourself?"
"Sometimes," Lucy said, wiping her eyes, "I wonder if it would be better for us both to just end this entirely." She looked directly at her companion. "But then at other times, I just don’t have the strength to do it. I can’t stand the thought of making him so unhappy, as I know that even bringing it up[119] would do. And for my own sake too—since he means so much to me—I don’t think I could handle it. What would you suggest I do in this situation, Miss Dashwood? What would you do?"
"Pardon me," replied Elinor, startled by the question; "but I can give you no advice under such circumstances. Your own judgment must direct you."
"Excuse me," Elinor responded, taken aback by the question; "but I can't give you any advice in this situation. You'll have to rely on your own judgment."
"To be sure," continued Lucy, after a few minutes silence on both sides, "his mother must provide for him sometime or other; but poor Edward is so cast down by it! Did you not think him dreadful low-spirited when he was at Barton? He was so miserable when he left us at Longstaple, to go to you, that I was afraid you would think him quite ill."
"Sure," Lucy said after a few minutes of silence from both of them, "his mom has to take care of him eventually; but poor Edward is really down about it! Didn't you think he seemed extremely low-spirited when he was at Barton? He looked so unhappy when he left us at Longstaple to come to you that I was worried you would think he was actually sick."
"Did he come from your uncle's, then, when he visited us?"
"Did he come from your uncle's when he visited us?"
"Oh, yes; he had been staying a fortnight with us. Did you think he came directly from town?"
"Oh, yes; he had been staying with us for two weeks. Did you think he came straight from the city?"
"No," replied Elinor, most feelingly sensible of every fresh circumstance in favour of Lucy's veracity; "I remember he told us, that he had been staying a fortnight with some friends near Plymouth." She remembered too, her own surprise at the time, at his mentioning nothing farther of those friends, at his total silence with respect even to their names.
"No," Elinor replied, fully aware of every new reason supporting Lucy's honesty; "I remember he told us he had been staying with some friends near Plymouth for a fortnight." She also recalled her own surprise at that moment, at his not mentioning anything more about those friends or even sharing their names.
"Did not you think him sadly out of spirits?" repeated Lucy.
"Did you not think he seemed really down?" repeated Lucy.
"We did, indeed, particularly so when he first arrived."
"We definitely did, especially when he first arrived."
"I begged him to exert himself for fear you should suspect what was the matter; but it made him so melancholy, not being able to stay more than a fortnight with us, and seeing me so much affected. Poor fellow!—I am afraid it is just the same with him now; for he writes in wretched spirits. I heard from him just before I left Exeter;" taking a letter from her pocket and carelessly showing the direction to Elinor. "You know his hand, I dare say, a charming one it is; but that is not written so well as usual. He was tired, I dare say, for he had just filled the sheet to me as full as possible."
"I begged him to try harder because I was worried you might suspect something was wrong; but it made him really down since he couldn’t stay with us for more than two weeks and saw how upset I was. Poor guy! I’m afraid he’s feeling the same way now because he writes in such awful spirits. I heard from him right before I left Exeter;" she said, taking a letter from her pocket and casually showing the address to Elinor. "You know his handwriting, I’m sure; it’s lovely, but this isn't as neatly written as usual. He must have been tired because he filled the whole page for me."
Elinor saw that it was his hand, and she could doubt no longer. This picture, she had allowed herself to believe, might have been accidentally obtained; it might not have been Edward's gift; but a correspondence between them by letter, could subsist only under a positive engagement, could be authorised by nothing else; for a few moments, she was[120] almost overcome—her heart sunk within her, and she could hardly stand; but exertion was indispensably necessary; and she struggled so resolutely against the oppression of her feelings, that her success was speedy, and for the time complete.
Elinor realized it was his hand, and she could no longer doubt. She had let herself believe that this picture might have been obtained by chance; it might not have been Edward's gift; but a correspondence between them through letters could only exist under a clear commitment, authorized by nothing else. For a few moments, she was[120] almost overwhelmed—her heart sank, and she could barely stand; but she knew she had to pull herself together; and she fought so hard against the weight of her emotions that she quickly succeeded, at least for the moment.
"Writing to each other," said Lucy, returning the letter into her pocket, "is the only comfort we have in such long separations. Yes, I have one other comfort in his picture, but poor Edward has not even that. If he had but my picture, he says he should be easy. I gave him a lock of my hair set in a ring when he was at Longstaple last, and that was some comfort to him, he said, but not equal to a picture. Perhaps you might notice the ring when you saw him?"
"Writing to each other," Lucy said, putting the letter back in her pocket, "is the only comfort we have during such long separations. Yes, I have one other comfort in his picture, but poor Edward doesn’t even have that. He says if he had just my picture, he would feel better. I gave him a lock of my hair set in a ring when he was at Longstaple last, and he said that was some comfort to him, but it’s not the same as having a picture. Maybe you could notice the ring when you see him?"
"I did," said Elinor, with a composure of voice, under which was concealed an emotion and distress beyond any thing she had ever felt before. She was mortified, shocked, confounded.
"I did," Elinor replied, her voice steady, though it masked feelings of emotion and distress that she had never experienced before. She felt embarrassed, shocked, and utterly bewildered.
Fortunately for her, they had now reached the cottage, and the conversation could be continued no farther. After sitting with them a few minutes, the Miss Steeles returned to the Park, and Elinor was then at liberty to think and be wretched.
Fortunately for her, they had now arrived at the cottage, and the conversation couldn't go on any longer. After spending a few minutes with them, the Miss Steeles went back to the Park, and Elinor was free to think and feel miserable.
CHAPTER XXIII
However small Elinor's general dependence on Lucy's veracity might be, it was impossible for her on serious reflection to suspect it in the present case, where no temptation could be answerable to the folly of inventing a falsehood of such a description. What Lucy had asserted to be true, therefore, Elinor could not, dared not longer doubt; supported as it was too on every side by such probabilities and proofs, and contradicted by nothing but her own wishes. Their opportunity of acquaintance in the house of Mr. Pratt was a foundation for the rest, at once indisputable and alarming; and Edward's visit near Plymouth, his melancholy state of mind, his dissatisfaction at his own prospects, his uncertain behaviour towards herself, the intimate knowledge of the Miss Steeles as to Norland and their family connections, which had often surprised her, the picture, the letter, the ring, formed[121] altogether such a body of evidence, as overcame every fear of condemning him unfairly, and established as a fact, which no partiality could set aside, his ill-treatment of herself. Her resentment of such behaviour, her indignation at having been its dupe, for a short time made her feel only for herself; but other ideas, other considerations, soon arose. Had Edward been intentionally deceiving her? Had he feigned a regard for her which he did not feel? Was his engagement to Lucy an engagement of the heart? No; whatever it might once have been, she could not believe it such at present. His affection was all her own. She could not be deceived in that. Her mother, sisters, Fanny, all had been conscious of his regard for her at Norland; it was not an illusion of her own vanity. He certainly loved her. What a softener of the heart was this persuasion! How much could it not tempt her to forgive! He had been blamable, highly blamable, in remaining at Norland after he first felt her influence over him to be more than it ought to be. In that, he could not be defended; but if he had injured her, how much more had he injured himself; if her case were pitiable, his was hopeless. His imprudence had made her miserable for a while; but it seemed to have deprived himself of all chance of ever being otherwise. She might in time regain tranquillity; but he, what had he to look forward to? Could he ever be tolerably happy with Lucy Steele; could he, were his affection for herself out of the question, with his integrity, his delicacy, and well-informed mind, be satisfied with a wife like her—illiterate, artful, and selfish?
However small Elinor's overall reliance on Lucy's honesty might be, she found it impossible, after serious thought, to doubt it in this situation, where no temptation could justify the foolishness of inventing such a falsehood. Therefore, Elinor could not, and dared not, continue to doubt what Lucy claimed to be true; especially since it was supported by probabilities and evidence on all sides, and contradicted only by her own wishes. Their introduction at Mr. Pratt's house was an undeniable and alarming foundation for the rest, and Edward's visit near Plymouth, his gloomy state of mind, his dissatisfaction with his own future, his uncertain behavior toward her, the Miss Steeles' deep knowledge of Norland and their family connections, which had often surprised her, along with the picture, the letter, and the ring, created[121] a body of evidence that overturned every fear of judging him unfairly and established as a fact, which no bias could dismiss, his mistreatment of her. Her anger at such behavior, her outrage at being deceived, initially caused her to focus only on her own feelings; but other thoughts and considerations soon emerged. Had Edward intentionally misled her? Had he pretended to care for her when he really didn't? Was his engagement to Lucy genuine? No; whatever it might have been at one time, she couldn't believe it to be true now. His affection was completely hers. She couldn’t be mistaken about that. Her mother, sisters, Fanny, all had recognized his feelings for her at Norland; it wasn’t an illusion of her vanity. He definitely loved her. What a softener of the heart this belief was! How much could it encourage her to forgive! He had been at fault, seriously at fault, for staying at Norland after he first realized that his feelings for her were more profound than they should have been. In that, he could not be defended; but if he had hurt her, how much more had he hurt himself; if her situation was pitiful, his was hopeless. His thoughtlessness had made her miserable for a time; but it seemed to have robbed him of any chance of ever being otherwise. She might eventually find peace again; but he, what did he have to look forward to? Could he ever be genuinely happy with Lucy Steele; could he, without considering his feelings for her, be satisfied with a wife like her—uneducated, deceitful, and selfish—given his integrity, sensitivity, and well-informed mind?
The youthful infatuation of nineteen would naturally blind him to every thing but her beauty and good nature; but the four succeeding years—years, which if rationally spent, give such improvement to the understanding, must have opened his eyes to her defects of education, while the same period of time, spent on her side in inferior society and more frivolous pursuits, had perhaps robbed her of that simplicity which might once have given an interesting character to her beauty.
The youthful crush at nineteen would naturally keep him focused only on her looks and pleasant personality; however, the four years that followed—years that, if used wisely, can really enhance one’s understanding—must have made him aware of her shortcomings in education. Meanwhile, those same years spent by her in lesser company and more superficial activities may have taken away the simplicity that once added an intriguing quality to her beauty.
If in the supposition of his seeking to marry herself, his difficulties from his mother had seemed great, how much greater were they now likely to be, when the object of his engagement was undoubtedly inferior in connections, and probably inferior in fortune to herself. These difficulties,[122] indeed, with a heart so alienated from Lucy, might not press very hard upon his patience; but melancholy was the state of the person by whom the expectation of family opposition and unkindness, could be felt as a relief!
If he thought marrying her was challenging because of his mother's objections, things were bound to be even tougher now that the woman he was engaged to clearly had a lower status and likely less wealth than her. These challenges, [122] might not weigh too heavily on his patience since his heart was so distant from Lucy; however, it was sad that someone could view the prospect of family opposition and unkindness as a sense of relief!
As these considerations occurred to her in painful succession, she wept for him, more than for herself. Supported by the conviction of having done nothing to merit her present unhappiness, and consoled by the belief that Edward had done nothing to forfeit her esteem, she thought she could even now, under the first smart of the heavy blow, command herself enough to guard every suspicion of the truth from her mother and sisters. And so well was she able to answer her own expectations, that when she joined them at dinner only two hours after she had first suffered the extinction of all her dearest hopes, no one would have supposed from the appearance of the sisters, that Elinor was mourning in secret over obstacles which must divide her for ever from the object of her love, and that Marianne was internally dwelling on the perfections of a man, of whose whole heart she felt thoroughly possessed, and whom she expected to see in every carriage which drove near their house.
As these thoughts hit her one after another, she cried for him more than for herself. Confident that she hadn’t done anything to deserve her current sadness, and comforted by the belief that Edward hadn’t done anything to lose her respect, she figured she could even now, just after the initial shock of the heavy blow, hold herself together enough to keep any suspicions of the truth from her mother and sisters. And she managed her own expectations so well that when she joined them for dinner just two hours after she had first lost all her dearest hopes, no one would have guessed from the sisters' demeanor that Elinor was secretly mourning over the obstacles that would forever separate her from the man she loved, and that Marianne was thinking about the qualities of a man whose heart she felt she completely had, and whom she anticipated seeing in every carriage that drove by their house.
The necessity of concealing from her mother and Marianne, what had been entrusted in confidence to herself, though it obliged her to unceasing exertion, was no aggravation of Elinor's distress. On the contrary it was a relief to her, to be spared the communication of what would give such affliction to them, and to be saved likewise from hearing that condemnation of Edward, which would probably flow from the excess of their partial affection for herself, and which was more than she felt equal to support.
The need to keep secret from her mother and Marianne what had been shared with her in confidence, while it required constant effort, didn't make Elinor's distress any worse. In fact, it relieved her to avoid telling them something that would cause them so much pain, and to also avoid hearing their criticism of Edward, which would likely come from their overwhelming affection for her, and that was more than she felt she could handle.
From their counsel, or their conversation, she knew she could receive no assistance, their tenderness and sorrow must add to her distress, while her self-command would neither receive encouragement from their example nor from their praise. She was stronger alone, and her own good sense so well supported her, that her firmness was as unshaken, her appearance of cheerfulness as invariable, as with regrets so poignant and so fresh, it was possible for them to be.
From their advice or their talk, she understood that she wouldn't get any help; their kindness and sadness would only increase her pain, and she wouldn't find encouragement in their behavior or their compliments. She was stronger on her own, and her good judgment supported her so well that her determination was rock solid, and her cheerful demeanor was constant, even with such sharp and fresh regrets as she had.
Much as she had suffered from her first conversation with Lucy on the subject, she soon felt an earnest wish of renewing it; and this for more reasons than one. She wanted to hear[123] many particulars of their engagement repeated again, she wanted more clearly to understand what Lucy really felt for Edward, whether there were any sincerity in her declaration of tender regard for him, and she particularly wanted to convince Lucy, by her readiness to enter on the matter again, and her calmness in conversing on it, that she was no otherwise interested in it than as a friend, which she very much feared her involuntary agitation, in their morning discourse, must have left at least doubtful. That Lucy was disposed to be jealous of her appeared very probable: it was plain that Edward had always spoken highly in her praise, not merely from Lucy's assertion, but from her venturing to trust her on so short a personal acquaintance, with a secret so confessedly and evidently important. And even Sir John's joking intelligence must have had some weight. But indeed, while Elinor remained so well assured within herself of being really beloved by Edward, it required no other consideration of probabilities to make it natural that Lucy should be jealous; and that she was so, her very confidence was a proof. What other reason for the disclosure of the affair could there be, but that Elinor might be informed by it of Lucy's superior claims on Edward, and be taught to avoid him in future? She had little difficulty in understanding thus much of her rival's intentions, and while she was firmly resolved to act by her as every principle of honour and honesty directed, to combat her own affection for Edward and to see him as little as possible; she could not deny herself the comfort of endeavouring to convince Lucy that her heart was unwounded. And as she could now have nothing more painful to hear on the subject than had already been told, she did not mistrust her own ability of going through a repetition of particulars with composure.
Even though she had struggled after her first conversation with Lucy about it, she quickly felt a strong desire to bring it up again, and for various reasons. She wanted to hear all the details of their engagement repeated, she wanted to understand better what Lucy really felt for Edward, whether her declarations of affection were sincere, and she especially wanted to show Lucy, by being open to discussing it again and staying calm while doing so, that she was only interested in it as a friend. She was very concerned that her unintentional agitation during their morning talk must have left that at least uncertain. It seemed quite likely that Lucy was feeling jealous of her; it was clear that Edward had always praised her, not just from Lucy's word but also from the fact that Lucy had chosen to share such a significant secret with her after such a brief personal acquaintance. Even Sir John's playful comments must have meant something. However, while Elinor was confident in Edward’s love for her, it was natural for Lucy to be jealous. The very act of Lucy confiding in her proved that. What other reason could there be for revealing the relationship except to inform Elinor of Lucy's greater claims on Edward and teach her to stay away from him in the future? She had little trouble figuring out her rival’s intentions, and while she was determined to treat Lucy with honor and honesty, to fight against her own feelings for Edward, and to see him as little as possible, she couldn’t deny herself the comfort of trying to convince Lucy that her heart wasn’t hurt. And since she had already heard everything painful about the situation, she didn't doubt her ability to go through the details again calmly.
But it was not immediately that an opportunity of doing so could be commanded, though Lucy was as well disposed as herself to take advantage of any that occurred; for the weather was not often fine enough to allow of their joining in a walk, where they might most easily separate themselves from the others; and though they met at least every other evening either at the park or cottage, and chiefly at the former, they could not be supposed to meet for the sake of conversation. Such a thought would never enter[124] either Sir John or Lady Middleton's head; and therefore very little leisure was ever given for a general chat, and none at all for particular discourse. They met for the sake of eating, drinking, and laughing together, playing at cards, or consequences, or any other game that was sufficiently noisy.
But it wasn't immediately possible for them to find an opportunity to do so, even though Lucy was just as eager as she was to take advantage of any that came up. The weather wasn’t often nice enough for them to go for a walk where they could easily separate from the others. Even though they got together at least every other evening, either at the park or the cottage—mostly at the former—they couldn’t be said to meet just to chat. That idea would never occur to either Sir John or Lady Middleton, so there was rarely any time for general conversation, and definitely none for private discussions. They gathered to eat, drink, laugh together, play cards, or engage in any other game that was loud enough.
One or two meetings of this kind had taken place, without affording Elinor any chance of engaging Lucy in private, when Sir John called at the cottage one morning, to beg, in the name of charity, that they would all dine with Lady Middleton that day, as he was obliged to attend the club at Exeter, and she would otherwise be quite alone, except her mother and the two Miss Steeles. Elinor, who foresaw a fairer opening for the point she had in view, in such a party as this was likely to be, more at liberty among themselves under the tranquil and well-bred direction of Lady Middleton than when her husband united them together in one noisy purpose, immediately accepted the invitation; Margaret, with her mother's permission, was equally compliant, and Marianne, though always unwilling to join any of their parties, was persuaded by her mother, who could not bear to have her seclude herself from any chance of amusement, to go likewise.
One or two meetings like this had happened, without giving Elinor a chance to talk to Lucy privately, when Sir John stopped by the cottage one morning to request, as a favor, that they all join Lady Middleton for dinner that day. He had to go to the club in Exeter, and she would otherwise be completely alone except for her mother and the two Miss Steeles. Elinor realized this would be a better opportunity for the discussion she wanted to have since the atmosphere would be more relaxed under Lady Middleton's calm and polite guidance, rather than when her husband brought them all together for a loud purpose. So, she quickly accepted the invitation; Margaret, with her mother’s permission, was just as eager, and Marianne, although always hesitant to join any of their outings, was convinced by her mother, who couldn't stand the idea of her missing out on any fun, to come along too.
The young ladies went, and Lady Middleton was happily preserved from the frightful solitude which had threatened her. The insipidity of the meeting was exactly such as Elinor had expected; it produced not one novelty of thought or expression, and nothing could be less interesting than the whole of their discourse both in the dining parlour and drawing room: to the latter, the children accompanied them, and while they remained there, she was too well convinced of the impossibility of engaging Lucy's attention to attempt it. They quitted it only with the removal of the tea-things. The card-table was then placed, and Elinor began to wonder at herself for having ever entertained a hope of finding time for conversation at the park. They all rose up in preparation for a round game.
The young women left, and Lady Middleton was happily spared from the awful loneliness that had been looming over her. The dullness of the gathering was exactly what Elinor had anticipated; it produced not a single new idea or expression, and nothing was less engaging than their entire conversation in both the dining room and the drawing room. The children came along to the latter, and while they were there, Elinor realized it was impossible to get Lucy's attention, so she didn't even try. They only left when the tea things were cleared away. The card table was then set up, and Elinor started to question why she had ever thought she would find time for conversation at the park. Everyone stood up in preparation for a round of cards.
"I am glad," said Lady Middleton to Lucy, "you are not going to finish poor little Annamaria's basket this evening; for I am sure it must hurt your eyes to work filigree by candlelight. And we will make the dear little love some amends for her disappointment to-morrow, and then I hope she will not much mind it."
"I’m glad," Lady Middleton said to Lucy, "you're not going to finish poor little Annamaria's basket tonight; I'm sure it's hard on your eyes to do filigree by candlelight. And we’ll make it up to the sweet little thing for her disappointment tomorrow, and I hope she won’t mind it too much."
This hint was enough, Lucy recollected herself instantly and[125] replied, "Indeed you are very much mistaken, Lady Middleton; I am only waiting to know whether you can make your party without me, or I should have been at my filigree already. I would not disappoint the little angel for all the world: and if you want me at the card-table now, I am resolved to finish the basket after supper."
This hint was enough, Lucy collected herself instantly and[125] replied, "You're completely mistaken, Lady Middleton; I’m just waiting to find out if you can have your gathering without me, or I would have already started on my filigree. I wouldn’t let the little angel down for anything in the world: and if you need me at the card table now, I’ve decided to finish the basket after dinner."
"You are very good, I hope it won't hurt your eyes:—will you ring the bell for some working candles? My poor little girl would be sadly disappointed, I know, if the basket was not finished tomorrow, for though I told her it certainly would not, I am sure she depends upon having it done."
"You’re so kind, I hope this doesn’t strain your eyes:—could you ring the bell for some working candles? My poor little girl would be really disappointed, I know, if the basket isn't finished by tomorrow, because even though I told her it definitely wouldn’t be, I’m sure she’s counting on getting it done."
Lucy directly drew her work table near her and reseated herself with an alacrity and cheerfulness which seemed to infer that she could taste no greater delight than in making a filigree basket for a spoilt child.
Lucy pulled her work table closer and sat down again with a quickness and happiness that suggested she couldn’t imagine a greater joy than making a decorative basket for a spoiled child.
Lady Middleton proposed a rubber of Casino to the others. No one made any objection but Marianne, who with her usual inattention to the forms of general civility, exclaimed, "Your Ladyship will have the goodness to excuse me—you know I detest cards. I shall go to the piano-forte; I have not touched it since it was tuned." And without farther ceremony, she turned away and walked to the instrument.
Lady Middleton suggested a game of Casino to everyone else. No one objected except for Marianne, who, as usual, ignored common courtesies, exclaimed, "Please excuse me, Your Ladyship—I really hate cards. I'm going to the piano; I haven't played it since it was tuned." And without any more politeness, she turned and walked over to the instrument.
Lady Middleton looked as if she thanked heaven that she had never made so rude a speech.
Lady Middleton looked like she was thanking heaven that she had never made such a rude comment.
"Marianne can never keep long from that instrument you know, ma'am," said Elinor, endeavouring to smooth away the offence; "and I do not much wonder at it; for it is the very best toned piano-forte I ever heard."
"Marianne can never stay away from that instrument for long, you know, ma'am," said Elinor, trying to ease the slight; "and I can't say I'm surprised; it's the best-sounding piano I’ve ever heard."
The remaining five were now to draw their cards.
The last five were now going to draw their cards.
"Perhaps," continued Elinor, "if I should happen to cut out, I may be of some use to Miss Lucy Steele, in rolling her papers for her; and there is so much still to be done to the basket, that it must be impossible I think for her labour singly, to finish it this evening. I should like the work exceedingly, if she would allow me a share in it."
"Maybe," Elinor continued, "if I happen to get free, I could help Miss Lucy Steele by rolling her papers for her. There's still so much left to do on the basket that I think it would be impossible for her to finish it all by herself this evening. I would really enjoy the work if she would let me be a part of it."
"Indeed I shall be very much obliged to you for your help," cried Lucy, "for I find there is more to be done to it than I thought there was; and it would be a shocking thing to disappoint dear Annamaria after all."
"Really, I’d be so grateful for your help," Lucy exclaimed, "because I see there’s more to do than I originally thought; and it would be terrible to let dear Annamaria down after all."
"Oh! that would be terrible, indeed," said Miss Steele. "Dear little soul, how I do love her!"
"Oh! that would be awful, for sure," said Miss Steele. "Sweet little thing, I love her so much!"
"You are very kind," said Lady Middleton to Elinor; "and as you really like the work, perhaps you will be as well pleased not to cut in till another rubber, or will you take your chance now?"
"You are so kind," said Lady Middleton to Elinor; "and since you really enjoy the game, maybe you’d prefer to wait until the next round, or do you want to take your chance now?"
Elinor joyfully profited by the first of these proposals, and thus by a little of that address which Marianne could never condescend to practise, gained her own end, and pleased Lady Middleton at the same time. Lucy made room for her with ready attention, and the two fair rivals were thus seated side by side at the same table, and, with the utmost harmony, engaged in forwarding the same work. The pianoforte at which Marianne, wrapped up in her own music and her own thoughts, had by this time forgotten that any body was in the room besides herself, was luckily so near them that Miss Dashwood now judged she might safely, under the shelter of its noise, introduce the interesting subject, without any risk of being heard at the card-table.
Elinor happily took advantage of the first proposal, and with a bit of the charm that Marianne could never bring herself to use, achieved her goal while also pleasing Lady Middleton. Lucy made space for her with eager attention, and the two beautiful rivals were seated next to each other at the same table, working together harmoniously on the same task. The piano that Marianne, lost in her own music and thoughts, had completely forgotten anyone else was in the room, was fortunately close enough that Miss Dashwood felt she could safely bring up the intriguing topic, shielded by the noise of the instrument, without any chance of being overheard at the card table.
CHAPTER XXIV
In a firm, though cautious tone, Elinor thus began.
In a steady but careful tone, Elinor started.
"I should be undeserving of the confidence you have honoured me with, if I felt no desire for its continuance, or no farther curiosity on its subject. I will not apologize therefore for bringing it forward again."
"I would be unworthy of the trust you've placed in me if I didn’t want it to last or have any further curiosity about it. So, I won’t apologize for bringing it up again."
"Thank you," cried Lucy warmly, "for breaking the ice; you have set my heart at ease by it; for I was somehow or other afraid I had offended you by what I told you that Monday."
"Thank you," Lucy exclaimed warmly, "for breaking the ice; you’ve put my heart at ease with that; I was somehow afraid I had upset you with what I told you that Monday."
"Offended me! How could you suppose so? Believe me," and Elinor spoke it with the truest sincerity, "nothing could be farther from my intention than to give you such an idea. Could you have a motive for the trust, that was not honourable and flattering to me?"
"Offended me! How could you think that? Believe me," Elinor said with complete sincerity, "nothing could be further from my intention than to give you that impression. Could you have a reason for trusting me that wasn’t honorable and flattering?"
"And yet I do assure you," replied Lucy, her little sharp eyes full of meaning, "there seemed to me to be a coldness and displeasure in your manner that made me quite uncomfortable. I felt sure that you was angry with me; and have[127] been quarrelling with myself ever since, for having took such a liberty as to trouble you with my affairs. But I am very glad to find it was only my own fancy, and that you really do not blame me. If you knew what a consolation it was to me to relieve my heart speaking to you of what I am always thinking of every moment of my life, your compassion would make you overlook every thing else I am sure."
"And yet I assure you," replied Lucy, her little sharp eyes full of meaning, "there seemed to be a coldness and displeasure in your manner that made me really uncomfortable. I was sure you were angry with me; and I've been arguing with myself ever since for having taken such a liberty as to bother you with my problems. But I'm very glad to find out it was just my imagination, and that you truly don’t blame me. If you knew what a relief it was for me to share my feelings with you about what I think about every moment of my life, your compassion would make you overlook everything else, I'm sure."
"Indeed, I can easily believe that it was a very great relief to you, to acknowledge your situation to me, and be assured that you shall never have reason to repent it. Your case is a very unfortunate one; you seem to me to be surrounded with difficulties, and you will have need of all your mutual affection to support you under them. Mr. Ferrars, I believe, is entirely dependent on his mother."
"Honestly, I can totally see how much of a relief it must have been for you to share your situation with me and to know that you'll never regret it. Your situation is really unfortunate; it looks like you're facing a lot of challenges, and you'll need all the love you share to get through them. I think Mr. Ferrars is completely reliant on his mother."
"He has only two thousand pounds of his own; it would be madness to marry upon that, though for my own part, I could give up every prospect of more without a sigh. I have been always used to a very small income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but I love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him, perhaps, of all that his mother might give him if he married to please her. We must wait, it may be for many years. With almost every other man in the world, it would be an alarming prospect; but Edward's affection and constancy nothing can deprive me of I know."
"He has only two thousand pounds to his name; it would be crazy to marry on that. Honestly, I could give up any chance of a better life without a second thought. I've always been used to living on a very tight budget, and I could deal with any hardship for him. But I love him too much to selfishly take away everything his mother might offer him if he married someone who could make her happy. We have to wait, maybe for many years. With almost any other guy, that would be a scary thought; but I know nothing can take away Edward's love and loyalty from me."
"That conviction must be every thing to you; and he is undoubtedly supported by the same trust in your's. If the strength of your reciprocal attachment had failed, as between many people, and under many circumstances it naturally would during a four years' engagement, your situation would have been pitiable, indeed."
"That belief has to mean everything to you; and he is surely backed by the same faith in you. If the strength of your mutual bond had faltered, as it often does between many people in various situations during a four-year engagement, your situation would have been truly miserable."
Lucy here looked up; but Elinor was careful in guarding her countenance from every expression that could give her words a suspicious tendency.
Lucy looked up; but Elinor was careful to keep her face free from any expression that might make her words seem suspicious.
"Edward's love for me," said Lucy, "has been pretty well put to the test, by our long, very long absence since we were first engaged, and it has stood the trial so well, that I should be unpardonable to doubt it now. I can safely say that he has never gave me one moment's alarm on that account from the first."
"Edward's love for me," said Lucy, "has really been tested by our long, very long absence since we first got engaged, and it has held up so well that it would be unforgivable for me to doubt it now. I can confidently say that he has never given me a moment's worry about that since the beginning."
Elinor hardly knew whether to smile or sigh at this assertion.[128]
Elinor barely knew whether to smile or sigh at this statement.[128]
Lucy went on. "I am rather of a jealous temper too by nature, and from our different situations in life, from his being so much more in the world than me, and our continual separation, I was enough inclined for suspicion, to have found out the truth in an instant, if there had been the slightest alteration in his behaviour to me when we met, or any lowness of spirits that I could not account for, or if he had talked more of one lady than another, or seemed in any respect less happy at Longstaple than he used to be. I do not mean to say that I am particularly observant or quick-sighted in general, but in such a case I am sure I could not be deceived."
Lucy continued, "I tend to be a jealous person by nature, and due to our different life situations, with him being out in the world way more than I am and our constant separation, I was already prone to suspicion. I would have picked up on the truth right away if there had been even the slightest change in how he acted towards me when we met, any unexplained low mood, or if he talked more about one woman than another, or seemed less happy at Longstaple than he used to be. I’m not saying I’m especially observant or perceptive in general, but in that situation, I know I wouldn't have been fooled."
"All this," thought Elinor, "is very pretty; but it can impose upon neither of us."
"All of this," thought Elinor, "is really nice; but it can't fool either of us."
"But what," said she after a short silence, "are your views? or have you none but that of waiting for Mrs. Ferrars's death, which is a melancholy and shocking extremity?—Is her son determined to submit to this, and to all the tediousness of the many years of suspense in which it may involve you, rather than run the risk of her displeasure for a while by owning the truth?"
"But what," she said after a brief pause, "are your thoughts? Or do you just plan on waiting for Mrs. Ferrars's death, which is a sad and shocking situation? Is her son really okay with facing all the years of uncertainty this may bring you, instead of risking her anger for a little while by telling the truth?"
"If we could be certain that it would be only for a while! But Mrs. Ferrars is a very headstrong proud woman, and in her first fit of anger upon hearing it, would very likely secure every thing to Robert, and the idea of that, for Edward's sake, frightens away all my inclination for hasty measures."
"If only we could be sure it would be temporary! But Mrs. Ferrars is a very stubborn and proud woman, and in her first moment of anger upon hearing the news, she would probably give everything to Robert. The thought of that, for Edward’s sake, completely discourages me from taking any quick actions."
"And for your own sake too, or you are carrying your disinterestedness beyond reason."
"And for your own benefit too, or you're taking your selflessness too far."
Lucy looked at Elinor again, and was silent.
Lucy looked at Elinor again and didn’t say anything.
"Do you know Mr. Robert Ferrars?" asked Elinor.
"Do you know Mr. Robert Ferrars?" Elinor asked.
"Not at all—I never saw him; but I fancy he is very unlike his brother—silly and a great coxcomb."
"Not at all—I never saw him; but I think he is very different from his brother—foolish and quite the show-off."
"A great coxcomb!" repeated Miss Steele, whose ear had caught those words by a sudden pause in Marianne's music. "Oh, they are talking of their favourite beaux, I dare say."
"A total show-off!" repeated Miss Steele, whose ear had picked up those words during a sudden break in Marianne's music. "Oh, they're definitely talking about their favorite guys, I bet."
"No sister," cried Lucy, "you are mistaken there, our favourite beaux are not great coxcombs."
"No sister," cried Lucy, "you're mistaken there, our favorite guys are not great show-offs."
"I can answer for it that Miss Dashwood's is not," said Mrs. Jennings, laughing heartily; "for he is one of the modestest, prettiest behaved young men I ever saw; but as for Lucy, she is such a sly little creature, there is no finding out who she likes."
"I can guarantee that Miss Dashwood isn't," said Mrs. Jennings, laughing loudly; "because he's one of the most modest and well-mannered young men I've ever seen; but as for Lucy, she's such a sneaky little thing, it's impossible to figure out who she likes."
"Oh," cried Miss Steele, looking significantly round at them, "I dare say Lucy's beau is quite as modest and pretty behaved as Miss Dashwood's."
"Oh," exclaimed Miss Steele, looking pointedly at them, "I bet Lucy's boyfriend is just as modest and well-mannered as Miss Dashwood's."
Elinor blushed in spite of herself. Lucy bit her lip, and looked angrily at her sister. A mutual silence took place for some time. Lucy first put an end to it by saying in a lower tone, though Marianne was then giving them the powerful protection of a very magnificent concerto—
Elinor blushed despite herself. Lucy bit her lip and shot an angry glance at her sister. They sat in silence for a while. Lucy finally broke the silence by speaking in a lower voice, even though Marianne was then providing them the strong support of a very impressive concerto—
"I will honestly tell you of one scheme which has lately come into my head, for bringing matters to bear; indeed I am bound to let you into the secret, for you are a party concerned. I dare say you have seen enough of Edward to know that he would prefer the church to every other profession; now my plan is that he should take orders as soon as he can, and then through your interest, which I am sure you would be kind enough to use out of friendship for him, and I hope out of some regard to me, your brother might be persuaded to give him Norland living; which I understand is a very good one, and the present incumbent not likely to live a great while. That would be enough for us to marry upon, and we might trust to time and chance for the rest."
"I'll honestly share a plan that's been on my mind lately for making things work out; I really should let you in on the secret since you have a stake in this. I’m sure you've noticed that Edward would choose a career in the church over any other profession. So, my idea is for him to become a clergyman as soon as possible, and through your support—which I know you’d be generous enough to lend out of friendship for him, and hopefully some regard for me—your brother could be persuaded to give him the Norland position, which I hear is quite a good one, and the current holder isn't likely to live much longer. That would be enough for us to get married, and we could leave the rest to time and fate."
"I should always be happy," replied Elinor, "to show any mark of my esteem and friendship for Mr. Ferrars; but do you not perceive that my interest on such an occasion would be perfectly unnecessary? He is brother to Mrs. John Dashwood—that must be recommendation enough to her husband."
"I would always be happy," Elinor replied, "to show any sign of my respect and friendship for Mr. Ferrars; but don’t you see that my involvement in this situation would be completely unnecessary? He is the brother of Mrs. John Dashwood—that should be recommendation enough to her husband."
"But Mrs. John Dashwood would not much approve of Edward's going into orders."
"But Mrs. John Dashwood wouldn’t really support Edward becoming a clergyman."
"Then I rather suspect that my interest would do very little."
"Then I guess that my interest wouldn't make much difference."
They were again silent for many minutes. At length Lucy exclaimed with a deep sigh—
They were quiet for several minutes. Finally, Lucy exclaimed with a deep sigh—
"I believe it would be the wisest way to put an end to the business at once by dissolving the engagement. We seem so beset with difficulties on every side, that though it would make us miserable for a time, we should be happier perhaps in the end. But you will not give me your advice, Miss Dashwood?"
"I think the best thing to do is to end this right now by breaking off the engagement. We’re facing so many challenges from every direction that, even though it might make us unhappy for a while, we could be better off in the long run. But you won’t share your thoughts with me, Miss Dashwood?"
"No," answered Elinor, with a smile, which concealed very agitated feelings, "on such a subject I certainly will not. You know very well that my opinion would have no weight with you, unless it were on the side of your wishes."
"No," Elinor replied with a smile that hid her intense feelings, "I definitely won’t. You know very well that my opinion wouldn’t matter to you unless it lined up with what you want."
"Indeed you wrong me," replied Lucy, with great solemnity; "I know nobody of whose judgment I think so highly as I do of yours; and I do really believe, that if you was to say to me, 'I advise you by all means to put an end to your engagement with Edward Ferrars, it will be more for the happiness of both of you,' I should resolve upon doing it immediately."
"You're really misunderstanding me," Lucy replied seriously. "I honestly think nobody's judgment means as much to me as yours does; and I truly believe that if you were to say to me, 'I strongly advise you to end your engagement with Edward Ferrars, it will be better for both of you,' I would decide to do it right away."
Elinor blushed for the insincerity of Edward's future wife, and replied, "This compliment would effectually frighten me from giving any opinion on the subject had I formed one. It raises my influence much too high; the power of dividing two people so tenderly attached is too much for an indifferent person."
Elinor blushed at the insincerity of Edward's future wife and replied, "This compliment would definitely scare me away from sharing any opinion on the topic if I had one. It raises my influence far too high; the ability to separate two people who are so deeply attached is too much for someone who's indifferent."
"'Tis because you are an indifferent person," said Lucy, with some pique, and laying a particular stress on those words, "that your judgment might justly have such weight with me. If you could be supposed to be biased in any respect by your own feelings, your opinion would not be worth having."
"You're an indifferent person," Lucy said, a bit annoyed, putting extra emphasis on those words, "and that's why your judgment might really carry some weight with me. If it seemed like you were biased in any way by your own feelings, your opinion wouldn't be worth considering."
Elinor thought it wisest to make no answer to this, lest they might provoke each other to an unsuitable increase of ease and unreserve; and was even partly determined never to mention the subject again. Another pause therefore of many minutes' duration, succeeded this speech, and Lucy was still the first to end it.
Elinor thought it was best not to respond to this, so they wouldn't push each other into an inappropriate level of comfort and openness. She was even somewhat resolved never to bring up the topic again. As a result, there was another pause that lasted several minutes after this comment, and Lucy was still the one to break the silence first.
"Shall you be in town this winter, Miss Dashwood?" said she with all her accustomary complacency.
"Are you going to be in town this winter, Miss Dashwood?" she asked with her usual self-satisfaction.
"Certainly not."
"Definitely not."
"I am sorry for that," returned the other, while her eyes brightened at the information, "it would have gave me such pleasure to meet you there! But I dare say you will go for all that. To be sure, your brother and sister will ask you to come to them."
"I'm sorry to hear that," replied the other, her eyes lighting up at the news. "It would have been such a pleasure to see you there! But I bet you'll end up going anyway. Of course, your brother and sister will want you to visit them."
"It will not be in my power to accept their invitation if they do."
"I won't be able to accept their invitation if they do."
"How unlucky that is! I had quite depended upon meeting you there. Anne and me are to go the latter end of January to some relations who have been wanting us to visit them these several years! But I only go for the sake of seeing Edward. He will be there in February, otherwise London would have no charms for me; I have not spirits for it."
"How unfortunate that is! I was really counting on meeting you there. Anne and I are going to visit some relatives at the end of January who have been wanting us to come for several years! But I'm only going to see Edward. He’ll be there in February; otherwise, London wouldn’t appeal to me at all; I just don’t have the energy for it."
Elinor was soon called to the card-table by the conclusion[132] of the first rubber, and the confidential discourse of the two ladies was therefore at an end, to which both of them submitted without any reluctance, for nothing had been said on either side to make them dislike each other less than they had done before; and Elinor sat down to the card table with the melancholy persuasion that Edward was not only without affection for the person who was to be his wife; but that he had not even the chance of being tolerably happy in marriage, which sincere affection on her side would have given, for self-interest alone could induce a woman to keep a man to an engagement, of which she seemed so thoroughly aware that he was weary.
Elinor was soon called to the card table once the first round was over[132], and so the private conversation between the two ladies came to an end. Both accepted this without any hesitation since nothing had been said that would make them dislike each other more than they already did. Elinor took a seat at the card table, feeling sadly convinced that Edward not only lacked affection for the woman he was set to marry, but that he also had no chance of being reasonably happy in that marriage. Sincere affection on her part could have made a difference, but it seemed that self-interest alone was what would keep a woman tied to a man who clearly was tired of the engagement.
From this time the subject was never revived by Elinor, and when entered on by Lucy, who seldom missed an opportunity of introducing it, and was particularly careful to inform her confidante, of her happiness whenever she received a letter from Edward, it was treated by the former with calmness and caution, and dismissed as soon as civility would allow; for she felt such conversations to be an indulgence which Lucy did not deserve, and which were dangerous to herself.
From this point on, Elinor never brought the subject up again, and when Lucy did, which she often took the chance to do, she was especially eager to share her happiness every time she received a letter from Edward. Elinor responded with calmness and caution, shutting down the conversation as soon as it was polite to do so. She considered those discussions an indulgence that Lucy didn’t deserve and felt they were risky for herself.
The visit of the Miss Steeles at Barton Park was lengthened far beyond what the first invitation implied. Their favour increased; they could not be spared; Sir John would not hear of their going; and in spite of their numerous and long arranged engagements in Exeter, in spite of the absolute necessity of returning to fulfill them immediately, which was in full force at the end of every week, they were prevailed on to stay nearly two months at the park, and to assist in the due celebration of that festival which requires a more than ordinary share of private balls and large dinners to proclaim its importance.
The Miss Steeles' visit to Barton Park lasted much longer than the original invitation suggested. They were enjoyed more and more; they couldn't be let go; Sir John refused to let them leave; and despite their many long-standing commitments in Exeter, and the urgent need to return to meet those commitments, which became more pressing every week, they were convinced to stay for almost two months at the park and to help celebrate the festival that typically involves more than the usual number of private parties and big dinners to highlight its significance.
CHAPTER XXV
Though Mrs. Jennings was in the habit of spending a large portion of the year at the houses of her children and friends, she was not without a settled habitation of her own. Since the death of her husband, who had traded with success in a less elegant part of the town, she had resided every winter in[133] a house in one of the streets near Portman Square. Towards this home, she began on the approach of January to turn her thoughts, and thither she one day abruptly, and very unexpectedly by them, asked the elder Misses Dashwood to accompany her. Elinor, without observing the varying complexion of her sister, and the animated look which spoke no indifference to the plan, immediately gave a grateful but absolute denial for both, in which she believed herself to be speaking their united inclinations. The reason alleged was their determined resolution of not leaving their mother at that time of the year. Mrs. Jennings received the refusal with some surprise, and repeated her invitation immediately.
Though Mrs. Jennings often spent a large part of the year at the homes of her children and friends, she did have a permanent place of her own. Since her husband’s death, who had done well in business in a less fashionable part of town, she had spent every winter in[133] a house on one of the streets near Portman Square. As January approached, she began to think about this home, and one day she unexpectedly asked the elder Misses Dashwood to join her. Elinor, without noticing her sister’s changing expression and the excitement that showed she was anything but indifferent to the invitation, immediately expressed a grateful but firm refusal for both of them, believing she was representing their combined feelings. The reason given was their firm decision not to leave their mother at that time of year. Mrs. Jennings was taken aback by the rejection and repeated her invitation right away.
"Oh, Lord! I am sure your mother can spare you very well, and I do beg you will favour me with your company, for I've quite set my heart upon it. Don't fancy that you will be any inconvenience to me, for I shan't put myself at all out of my way for you. It will only be sending Betty by the coach, and I hope I can afford that. We three shall be able to go very well in my chaise; and when we are in town, if you do not like to go wherever I do, well and good, you may always go with one of my daughters. I am sure your mother will not object to it; for I have had such good luck in getting my own children off my hands that she will think me a very fit person to have the charge of you; and if I don't get one of you at least well married before I have done with you, it shall not be my fault. I shall speak a good word for you to all the young men, you may depend upon it."
"Oh, Lord! I’m sure your mom can spare you just fine, and I really hope you'll join me since I’ve set my heart on it. Don't think you'll be any trouble to me, because I won’t go out of my way for you at all. It’ll just be sending Betty by the coach, and I think I can manage that. The three of us will fit perfectly in my carriage; and when we’re in town, if you don’t want to go wherever I’m going, that’s totally fine, you can always go with one of my daughters. I’m sure your mom won’t mind; I’ve had such good luck getting my own kids settled that she’ll think I’m a good person to look after you. And if I don’t get at least one of you well married before I’m done with you, it won’t be my fault. You can count on me to put in a good word for you with all the young men."
"I have a notion," said Sir John, "that Miss Marianne would not object to such a scheme, if her elder sister would come into it. It is very hard indeed that she should not have a little pleasure, because Miss Dashwood does not wish it. So I would advise you two, to set off for town, when you are tired of Barton, without saying a word to Miss Dashwood about it."
"I have an idea," said Sir John, "that Miss Marianne wouldn’t mind this plan if her older sister agreed to it. It’s really unfair that she can’t enjoy herself just because Miss Dashwood doesn’t want her to. So, I suggest that you both head to town whenever you’re done with Barton, without mentioning anything to Miss Dashwood."
"Nay," cried Mrs. Jennings, "I am sure I shall be monstrous glad of Miss Marianne's company, whether Miss Dashwood will go or not, only the more the merrier say I, and I thought it would be more comfortable for them to be together; because, if they got tired of me, they might talk to one another, and laugh at my old ways behind my back. But one or the other, if not both of them, I must have. Lord[134] bless me! how do you think I can live poking by myself, I who have been always used till this winter to have Charlotte with me. Come, Miss Marianne, let us strike hands upon the bargain, and if Miss Dashwood will change her mind by and bye, why so much the better."
"No," exclaimed Mrs. Jennings, "I know I'll be really happy to have Miss Marianne's company, whether Miss Dashwood comes or not. The more, the merrier, I say! I thought it would be more comfortable for them to be together because if they got tired of me, they could talk to each other and laugh at my old-fashioned ways behind my back. But I need at least one of them, if not both. Goodness! How do you think I can manage being all alone? I've always had Charlotte with me until this winter. Come on, Miss Marianne, let’s agree on this, and if Miss Dashwood changes her mind later, that would be even better."
"I thank you, ma'am, sincerely thank you," said Marianne, with warmth: "your invitation has insured my gratitude for ever, and it would give me such happiness, yes, almost the greatest happiness I am capable of, to be able to accept it. But my mother, my dearest, kindest mother,—I feel the justice of what Elinor has urged, and if she were to be made less happy, less comfortable by our absence—Oh! no, nothing should tempt me to leave her. It should not, must not be a struggle."
"I sincerely thank you, ma'am," said Marianne warmly. "Your invitation has guaranteed my gratitude forever, and it would bring me so much happiness, almost the greatest happiness I can feel, to be able to accept it. But my mother, my dearest, kindest mother—I see the fairness in what Elinor has said, and if she were to be less happy, less comfortable because of our absence—Oh! no, nothing could ever tempt me to leave her. It shouldn’t be, and mustn’t be, a struggle."
Mrs. Jennings repeated her assurance that Mrs. Dashwood could spare them perfectly well; and Elinor, who now understood her sister, and saw to what indifference to almost every thing else she was carried by her eagerness to be with Willoughby again, made no farther direct opposition to the plan, and merely referred it to her mother's decision, from whom however she scarcely expected to receive any support in her endeavour to prevent a visit, which she could not approve of for Marianne, and which on her own account she had particular reasons to avoid. Whatever Marianne was desirous of, her mother would be eager to promote—she could not expect to influence the latter to cautiousness of conduct in an affair respecting which she had never been able to inspire her with distrust; and she dared not explain the motive of her own disinclination for going to London. That Marianne, fastidious as she was, thoroughly acquainted with Mrs. Jennings' manners, and invariably disgusted by them, should overlook every inconvenience of that kind, should disregard whatever must be most wounding to her irritable feelings, in her pursuit of one object, was such a proof, so strong, so full, of the importance of that object to her, as Elinor, in spite of all that had passed, was not prepared to witness.
Mrs. Jennings continued to assure them that Mrs. Dashwood could easily spare them, and Elinor, who now understood her sister and saw how her eagerness to be with Willoughby was making her indifferent to almost everything else, did not further oppose the plan. Instead, she left it to her mother’s judgment, although she hardly expected to get any support in her attempt to prevent a visit that she did not think was right for Marianne and that she personally had strong reasons to avoid. Whatever Marianne wanted, her mother would be keen to support—Elinor knew she couldn’t influence her to be cautious about something she had never managed to make her distrust. She also didn’t dare share her reasons for not wanting to go to London. The fact that Marianne, picky as she was, fully aware of Mrs. Jennings’ ways and usually repulsed by them, was willing to overlook those inconveniences and ignore what would have seriously hurt her feelings, all for the sake of one goal, showed just how important that goal was to her in a way that Elinor, despite everything that had happened, wasn’t ready to see.
On being informed of the invitation, Mrs. Dashwood, persuaded that such an excursion would be productive of much amusement to both her daughters, and perceiving through all her affectionate attention to herself, how much the[135] heart of Marianne was in it, would not hear of their declining the offer upon her account; insisted on their both accepting it directly; and then began to foresee, with her usual cheerfulness, a variety of advantages that would accrue to them all, from this separation.
Upon hearing about the invitation, Mrs. Dashwood believed that such a trip would bring a lot of joy to both her daughters. Noticing how much Marianne was looking forward to it, despite all her loving concern for her, Mrs. Dashwood wouldn't let them turn down the offer for her sake. She insisted they both accept it right away, and then started to imagine, with her usual optimism, the many benefits that would come to them all from this time apart.
"I am delighted with the plan," she cried, "it is exactly what I could wish. Margaret and I shall be as much benefited by it as yourselves. When you and the Middletons are gone, we shall go on so quietly and happily together with our books and our music! You will find Margaret so improved when you come back again! I have a little plan of alteration for your bedrooms too, which may now be performed without any inconvenience to any one. It is very right that you should go to town; I would have every young woman of your condition in life acquainted with the manners and amusements of London. You will be under the care of a motherly good sort of woman, of whose kindness to you I can have no doubt. And in all probability you will see your brother, and whatever may be his faults, or the faults of his wife, when I consider whose son he is, I cannot bear to have you so wholly estranged from each other."
"I’m thrilled with the plan," she exclaimed, "it’s just what I could ask for. Margaret and I will benefit just as much from it as you will. Once you and the Middletons leave, we’ll carry on peacefully and happily together with our books and music! You’ll notice how much Margaret has improved when you come back! I also have a small idea to change your bedrooms, which can now be done without bothering anyone. It’s absolutely right that you should go to town; I believe every young woman in your position should be familiar with the customs and entertainment of London. You’ll be under the care of a really nice woman, and I have no doubt she’ll look out for you. You’ll probably see your brother too, and regardless of his flaws or those of his wife, considering who he is, I can’t stand the thought of you being so completely distant from each other."
"Though with your usual anxiety for our happiness," said Elinor, "you have been obviating every impediment to the present scheme which occurred to you, there is still one objection which, in my opinion, cannot be so easily removed."
"Even though you've been trying your usual best to ensure our happiness," Elinor said, "and have been tackling every obstacle to the current plan that you thought of, I still believe there's one issue that can't be easily resolved."
Marianne's countenance sunk.
Marianne's expression fell.
"And what," said Mrs. Dashwood, "is my dear prudent Elinor going to suggest? What formidable obstacle is she now to bring forward? Do not let me hear a word about the expense of it."
"And what," said Mrs. Dashwood, "is my dear sensible Elinor going to suggest? What major obstacle is she going to bring up now? Don't let me hear a word about the cost of it."
"My objection is this; though I think very well of Mrs. Jennings's heart, she is not a woman whose society can afford us pleasure, or whose protection will give us consequence."
"My issue is this: while I have a high opinion of Mrs. Jennings's character, she is not someone whose company brings us joy, nor will her support elevate our status."
"That is very true," replied her mother, "but of her society, separately from that of other people, you will scarcely have any thing at all, and you will almost always appear in public with Lady Middleton."
"That’s very true," her mother replied, "but you'll hardly have any time with her alone, apart from other people, and you’ll almost always be out in public with Lady Middleton."
"If Elinor is frightened away by her dislike of Mrs. Jennings," said Marianne, "at least it need not prevent my accepting her invitation. I have no such scruples, and I am sure I could put up with every unpleasantness of that kind with very little effort."[136]
"If Elinor is scared off by her dislike for Mrs. Jennings," said Marianne, "that shouldn’t stop me from accepting her invitation. I have no such issues, and I know I could handle any awkwardness with hardly any trouble."[136]
Elinor could not help smiling at this display of indifference towards the manners of a person, to whom she had often had difficulty in persuading Marianne to behave with tolerable politeness; and resolved within herself, that if her sister persisted in going, she would go likewise, as she did not think it proper that Marianne should be left to the sole guidance of her own judgment, or that Mrs. Jennings should be abandoned to the mercy of Marianne for all the comfort of her domestic hours. To this determination she was the more easily reconciled, by recollecting that Edward Ferrars, by Lucy's account, was not to be in town before February; and that their visit, without any unreasonable abridgement, might be previously finished.
Elinor couldn't help but smile at this display of indifference towards the manners of someone she often struggled to persuade Marianne to treat with at least a bit of politeness. She resolved to herself that if her sister insisted on going, she would go too, as she didn't think it was appropriate for Marianne to be left to navigate things on her own or for Mrs. Jennings to be left at the mercy of Marianne for all the comfort of her home life. She found it easier to accept this decision when she remembered that, according to Lucy, Edward Ferrars wouldn’t be in town until February, and their visit could reasonably be wrapped up before then.
"I will have you both go," said Mrs. Dashwood; "these objections are nonsensical. You will have much pleasure in being in London, and especially in being together; and if Elinor would ever condescend to anticipate enjoyment, she would foresee it there from a variety of sources; she would, perhaps, expect some from improving her acquaintance with her sister-in-law's family."
"I'll have you both go," Mrs. Dashwood said. "These objections are ridiculous. You'll have a lot of fun being in London, especially being together. And if Elinor would ever lower herself to expect some enjoyment, she would see it coming from many different places there; she might even look forward to getting to know her sister-in-law's family better."
Elinor had often wished for an opportunity of attempting to weaken her mother's dependence on the attachment of Edward and herself, that the shock might be less when the whole truth were revealed, and now on this attack, though almost hopeless of success, she forced herself to begin her design by saying, as calmly as she could, "I like Edward Ferrars very much, and shall always be glad to see him; but as to the rest of the family, it is a matter of perfect indifference to me, whether I am ever known to them or not."
Elinor had often hoped for a chance to lessen her mother’s reliance on the connections between Edward and herself, so the blow wouldn’t be as heavy when the whole truth came out. Now, during this difficult conversation, though she was nearly certain of failure, she pushed herself to start the discussion by saying, as calmly as possible, "I really like Edward Ferrars and will always be happy to see him; but when it comes to the rest of the family, it doesn’t matter to me at all whether they ever know me or not."
Mrs. Dashwood smiled, and said nothing. Marianne lifted up her eyes in astonishment, and Elinor conjectured that she might as well have held her tongue.
Mrs. Dashwood smiled and said nothing. Marianne looked up in surprise, and Elinor figured that she might as well have stayed quiet.
After very little farther discourse, it was finally settled that the invitation should be fully accepted. Mrs. Jennings received the information with a great deal of joy, and many assurances of kindness and care; nor was it a matter of pleasure merely to her. Sir John was delighted; for to a man, whose prevailing anxiety was the dread of being alone, the acquisition of two, to the number of inhabitants in London, was something. Even Lady Middleton took the trouble of being delighted, which was putting herself rather out of[137] her way; and as for the Miss Steeles, especially Lucy, they had never been so happy in their lives as this intelligence made them.
After only a bit more conversation, it was finally decided that the invitation should be fully accepted. Mrs. Jennings reacted with a lot of joy and offered many reassurances of kindness and care; it was not just a source of pleasure for her. Sir John was thrilled; for a man whose main worry was the fear of being alone, adding two more people to the mix in London was significant. Even Lady Middleton made an effort to be pleased, which was a bit out of her character; and as for the Miss Steeles, especially Lucy, they had never been happier in their lives than with this news.
Elinor submitted to the arrangement which counteracted her wishes with less reluctance than she had expected to feel. With regard to herself, it was now a matter of unconcern whether she went to town or not, and when she saw her mother so thoroughly pleased with the plan, and her sister exhilarated by it in look, voice, and manner, restored to all her usual animation, and elevated to more than her usual gaiety, she could not be dissatisfied with the cause, and would hardly allow herself to distrust the consequence.
Elinor accepted the arrangement that went against her wishes with less resistance than she had anticipated. For herself, it didn’t really matter whether she went to town or not, and seeing her mother so happy with the plan, along with her sister looking energized, cheerful, and her usual lively self, made it difficult for her to feel unhappy about it. She could hardly let herself doubt the outcome.
Marianne's joy was almost a degree beyond happiness, so great was the perturbation of her spirits and her impatience to be gone. Her unwillingness to quit her mother was her only restorative to calmness; and at the moment of parting her grief on that score was excessive. Her mother's affliction was hardly less, and Elinor was the only one of the three, who seemed to consider the separation as any thing short of eternal.
Marianne's joy was almost more than happiness; her emotions were so stirred up and she was so eager to leave. Her reluctance to leave her mother was the only thing that brought her some calm, and at the moment of parting, her sadness about it was overwhelming. Her mother felt just as distressed, and Elinor was the only one of the three who didn't see the separation as something that would last forever.
Their departure took place in the first week in January. The Middletons were to follow in about a week. The Miss Steeles kept their station at the park, and were to quit it only with the rest of the family.
Their departure happened in the first week of January. The Middletons were set to leave about a week later. The Miss Steeles stayed at the park and planned to leave only with the rest of the family.
CHAPTER XXVI
Elinor could not find herself in the carriage with Mrs. Jennings, and beginning a journey to London under her protection, and as her guest, without wondering at her own situation, so short had their acquaintance with that lady been, so wholly unsuited were they in age and disposition, and so many had been her objections against such a measure only a few days before! But these objections had all, with that happy ardour of youth which Marianne and her mother equally shared, been overcome or overlooked; and Elinor, in spite of every occasional doubt of Willoughby's constancy, could not witness the rapture of delightful expectation which filled[138] the whole soul and beamed in the eyes of Marianne, without feeling how blank was her own prospect, how cheerless her own state of mind in the comparison, and how gladly she would engage in the solicitude of Marianne's situation to have the same animating object in view, the same possibility of hope. A short, a very short time however must now decide what Willoughby's intentions were; in all probability he was already in town. Marianne's eagerness to be gone declared her dependence on finding him there; and Elinor was resolved not only upon gaining every new light as to his character which her own observation or the intelligence of others could give her, but likewise upon watching his behaviour to her sister with such zealous attention, as to ascertain what he was and what he meant, before many meetings had taken place. Should the result of her observations be unfavourable, she was determined at all events to open the eyes of her sister; should it be otherwise, her exertions would be of a different nature—she must then learn to avoid every selfish comparison, and banish every regret which might lessen her satisfaction in the happiness of Marianne.
Elinor found herself in the carriage with Mrs. Jennings, starting a journey to London under her protection and as her guest, and couldn’t help but think about her situation. Their acquaintance with Mrs. Jennings had been so brief, they were so different in age and personality, and just a few days before, she had so many objections to this plan! But those objections had all been overcome or ignored, fueled by the youthful enthusiasm that both Marianne and her mother shared. Despite her occasional doubts about Willoughby's loyalty, Elinor couldn’t help but notice the joy and excitement radiating from Marianne, which made her own outlook feel so dull and her state of mind so bleak in comparison. She wished she could share in Marianne's excitement and have the same hopeful focus. However, time was short and would soon reveal Willoughby's intentions; he was likely already in town. Marianne's eagerness to leave showed her hope of finding him there, and Elinor was determined not only to gather information about his character through her own observations and others’ insights but also to pay close attention to how he treated her sister to figure out who he really was and what he wanted before they had too many encounters. If her observations turned out to be negative, she was set on opening her sister's eyes. If the outcome was positive, she would need to work on avoiding any selfish comparisons and letting go of any regrets that might dampen her happiness for Marianne.
They were three days on their journey, and Marianne's behaviour as they travelled was a happy specimen of what future complaisance and companionableness to Mrs. Jennings might be expected to be. She sat in silence almost all the way, wrapt in her own meditations, and scarcely ever voluntarily speaking, except when any object of picturesque beauty within their view drew from her an exclamation of delight exclusively addressed to her sister. To atone for this conduct therefore, Elinor took immediate possession of the post of civility which she had assigned herself, behaved with the greatest attention to Mrs. Jennings, talked with her, laughed with her, and listened to her whenever she could; and Mrs. Jennings on her side treated them both with all possible kindness, was solicitous on every occasion for their ease and enjoyment, and only disturbed that she could not make them choose their own dinners at the inn, nor extort a confession of their preferring salmon to cod, or boiled fowls to veal cutlets. They reached town by three o'clock the third day, glad to be released, after such a journey, from the confinement of a carriage, and ready to enjoy all the luxury of a good fire.
They spent three days traveling, and Marianne's behavior during the trip was a clear example of how accommodating and friendly she might be to Mrs. Jennings in the future. She sat mostly in silence, lost in her thoughts, and hardly spoke up unless something beautiful caught her eye, which would prompt a delighted comment directed solely at her sister. To make up for this, Elinor immediately took on the role of being polite, showing great attention to Mrs. Jennings, chatting with her, laughing with her, and listening whenever she could. Mrs. Jennings, in return, treated them both with as much kindness as possible, always concerned about their comfort and enjoyment, and only frustrated that she couldn't let them pick their own meals at the inn or get them to admit they preferred salmon over cod or chicken over veal cutlets. They arrived in town around three o’clock on the third day, relieved to escape the confines of the carriage after such a long journey and eager to enjoy the comfort of a nice fire.
The house was handsome, and handsomely fitted up, and[139] the young ladies were immediately put in possession of a very comfortable apartment. It had formerly been Charlotte's, and over the mantelpiece still hung a landscape in coloured silks of her performance, in proof of her having spent seven years at a great school in town to some effect.
The house was beautiful and well-furnished, and[139] the young women were quickly given a very cozy room. It had previously belonged to Charlotte, and above the mantelpiece still hung a landscape made of colorful silks that she created, proving that she had spent seven years at a top school in the city to good effect.
As dinner was not to be ready in less than two hours from their arrival, Elinor determined to employ the interval in writing to her mother, and sat down for that purpose. In a few moments Marianne did the same. "I am writing home, Marianne," said Elinor; "had not you better defer your letter for a day or two?"
As dinner wouldn't be ready for at least two hours after they arrived, Elinor decided to use that time to write to her mom and sat down to do so. A few moments later, Marianne did the same. "I'm writing home, Marianne," Elinor said, "wouldn't it be better to wait a day or two to send your letter?"
"I am not going to write to my mother," replied Marianne, hastily, and as if wishing to avoid any farther inquiry. Elinor said no more; it immediately struck her that she must then be writing to Willoughby; and the conclusion which as instantly followed was, that, however mysteriously they might wish to conduct the affair, they must be engaged. This conviction, though not entirely satisfactory, gave her pleasure, and she continued her letter with greater alacrity. Marianne's was finished in a very few minutes; in length it could be no more than a note; it was then folded up, sealed, and directed with eager rapidity. Elinor thought she could distinguish a large W in the direction; and no sooner was it complete than Marianne, ringing the bell, requested the footman who answered it to get that letter conveyed for her to the two-penny post. This decided the matter at once.
"I am not going to write to my mom," Marianne replied quickly, as if she wanted to avoid any further questions. Elinor didn’t say anything more; it instantly hit her that Marianne must be writing to Willoughby. The obvious conclusion that followed was that, no matter how mysteriously they might want to handle the situation, they must be engaged. This thought, though not completely satisfying, made her happy, and she continued her letter with more enthusiasm. Marianne finished hers in just a few minutes; it couldn’t have been more than a note. She then folded it, sealed it, and addressed it quickly. Elinor thought she could make out a large W in the address; and as soon as it was ready, Marianne rang the bell and asked the footman who answered to take the letter to the two-penny post for her. This settled the issue right then.
Her spirits still continued very high; but there was a flutter in them which prevented their giving much pleasure to her sister, and this agitation increased as the evening drew on. She could scarcely eat any dinner, and when they afterwards returned to the drawing room, seemed anxiously listening to the sound of every carriage.
Her spirits remained high, but there was a nervousness that prevented her from bringing much joy to her sister, and this restlessness grew as the evening went on. She could barely eat any dinner, and when they later returned to the drawing room, she seemed to be anxiously listening for the sound of every carriage.
It was a great satisfaction to Elinor that Mrs. Jennings, by being much engaged in her own room, could see little of what was passing. The tea things were brought in, and already had Marianne been disappointed more than once by a rap at a neighbouring door, when a loud one was suddenly heard which could not be mistaken for one at any other house, Elinor felt secure of its announcing Willoughby's approach, and Marianne, starting up, moved towards the door. Every thing was silent; this could not be borne many seconds; she[140] opened the door, advanced a few steps towards the stairs, and after listening half a minute, returned into the room in all the agitation which a conviction of having heard him would naturally produce; in the ecstasy of her feelings at that instant she could not help exclaiming, "Oh, Elinor, it is Willoughby, indeed it is!" and seemed almost ready to throw herself into his arms, when Colonel Brandon appeared.
Elinor was really pleased that Mrs. Jennings, being so busy in her room, could see little of what was happening. The tea was served, and Marianne had already been disappointed a few times by a knock at a nearby door, when a loud knock was suddenly heard, unmistakably from their house. Elinor felt confident it announced Willoughby's arrival, and Marianne quickly got up and headed for the door. Everything went silent; she couldn't stand it for long. She opened the door, took a few steps toward the stairs, and after listening for half a minute, returned to the room in a flurry, convinced she had heard him. Caught up in her excitement, she exclaimed, "Oh, Elinor, it is Willoughby, indeed it is!" and seemed almost ready to throw herself into his arms when Colonel Brandon appeared.
It was too great a shock to be borne with calmness, and she immediately left the room. Elinor was disappointed too; but at the same time her regard for Colonel Brandon ensured his welcome with her; and she felt particularly hurt that a man so partial to her sister should perceive that she experienced nothing but grief and disappointment in seeing him. She instantly saw that it was not unnoticed by him, that he even observed Marianne as she quitted the room, with such astonishment and concern, as hardly left him the recollection of what civility demanded towards herself.
It was too big a shock to handle calmly, and she quickly left the room. Elinor felt disappointed too, but at the same time, her respect for Colonel Brandon made him feel welcome to her. She was especially upset that a man who cared so much for her sister could see that she felt nothing but sadness and disappointment in his presence. She immediately noticed that he picked up on it; he even watched Marianne leave the room with such surprise and concern that he barely remembered to be polite to her.
"Is your sister ill?" said he.
"Is your sister sick?" he asked.
Elinor answered in some distress that she was, and then talked of head-aches, low spirits, and over fatigues; and of every thing to which she could decently attribute her sister's behaviour.
Elinor replied with some concern that she was, and then talked about headaches, feeling down, and being overly tired; and about everything she could reasonably attribute to her sister's behavior.
He heard her with the most earnest attention, but seeming to recollect himself, said no more on the subject, and began directly to speak of his pleasure at seeing them in London, making the usual inquiries about their journey, and the friends they had left behind.
He listened to her with great focus, but after a moment, he seemed to gather his thoughts, stopped talking about that topic, and started to express how happy he was to see them in London. He asked the usual questions about their trip and the friends they had left behind.
In this calm kind of way, with very little interest on either side, they continued to talk, both of them out of spirits, and the thoughts of both engaged elsewhere. Elinor wished very much to ask whether Willoughby were then in town, but she was afraid of giving him pain by any enquiry after his rival; and at length, by way of saying something, she asked if he had been in London ever since she had seen him last. "Yes," he replied, with some embarrassment, "almost ever since; I have been once or twice at Delaford for a few days, but it has never been in my power to return to Barton."
In a calm and detached manner, with little interest from either side, they continued their conversation, both feeling down and their thoughts focused elsewhere. Elinor really wanted to ask if Willoughby was in town, but she was worried about causing him pain by bringing up his rival. Finally, to break the silence, she asked if he had been in London since the last time they met. "Yes," he replied, somewhat awkwardly, "pretty much the whole time; I’ve been to Delaford a couple of times for a few days, but I haven’t been able to return to Barton."
This, and the manner in which it was said, immediately brought back to her remembrance all the circumstances of his quitting that place, with the uneasiness and suspicions they had caused to Mrs. Jennings, and she was fearful that her[141] question had implied much more curiosity on the subject than she had ever felt.
This, along with how it was said, instantly reminded her of everything that happened when he left that place, and the anxiety and doubts it had caused Mrs. Jennings. She was worried that her[141] question had suggested a lot more curiosity about the topic than she had ever actually felt.
Mrs. Jennings soon came in. "Oh! Colonel," said she, with her usual noisy cheerfulness, "I am monstrous glad to see you—sorry I could not come before—beg your pardon, but I have been forced to look about me a little, and settle my matters; for it is a long while since I have been at home, and you know one has always a world of little odd things to do after one has been away for any time; and then I have had Cartwright to settle with. Lord, I have been as busy as a bee ever since dinner! But pray, Colonel, how came you to conjure out that I should be in town today?"
Mrs. Jennings soon walked in. "Oh! Colonel," she exclaimed with her usual loud cheerfulness, "I'm so glad to see you—sorry I couldn't come by earlier—please forgive me, but I had to take care of a few things and get my affairs in order; it's been quite a while since I was home, and you know there are always a million little tasks to handle after being away for a bit; plus, I had to settle things with Cartwright. Honestly, I've been as busy as a bee since dinner! But tell me, Colonel, how did you figure out that I would be in town today?"
"I had the pleasure of hearing it at Mr. Palmer's, where I have been dining."
"I had the pleasure of hearing it at Mr. Palmer's, where I had dinner."
"Oh, you did; well, and how do they all do at their house? How does Charlotte do? I warrant you she is a fine size by this time."
"Oh, you did? Well, how’s everyone doing at their place? How’s Charlotte? I bet she’s grown quite a bit by now."
"Mrs. Palmer appeared quite well, and I am commissioned to tell you, that you will certainly see her to-morrow."
"Mrs. Palmer looked really good, and I'm here to let you know that you'll definitely see her tomorrow."
"Ay, to be sure, I thought as much. Well, Colonel, I have brought two young ladies with me, you see—that is, you see but one of them now, but there is another somewhere. Your friend, Miss Marianne, too—which you will not be sorry to hear. I do not know what you and Mr. Willoughby will do between you about her. Ay, it is a fine thing to be young and handsome. Well! I was young once, but I never was very handsome—worse luck for me. However, I got a very good husband, and I don't know what the greatest beauty can do more. Ah! poor man! he has been dead these eight years and better. But Colonel, where have you been to since we parted? And how does your business go on? Come, come, let's have no secrets among friends."
"Of course, I figured as much. Well, Colonel, I’ve brought two young ladies with me, as you can see—though you only see one right now, the other is around here somewhere. Your friend, Miss Marianne, is with us too—which I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear. I’m not sure what you and Mr. Willoughby plan to do about her. It’s nice to be young and good-looking. Well, I was young once, but I was never very attractive—unlucky me. Still, I found a wonderful husband, and I don’t know what more a great beauty could ask for. Ah! poor man! He’s been gone for over eight years now. But Colonel, where have you been since we last saw each other? How's your business going? Come on, let’s not keep any secrets among friends."
He replied with his accustomary mildness to all her inquiries, but without satisfying her in any. Elinor now began to make the tea, and Marianne was obliged to appear again.
He responded to all her questions with his usual gentleness, but he didn't really answer any of them. Elinor started to make the tea, and Marianne had to come back.
After her entrance, Colonel Brandon became more thoughtful and silent than he had been before, and Mrs. Jennings could not prevail on him to stay long. No other visitor appeared that evening, and the ladies were unanimous in agreeing to go early to bed.[142]
After she arrived, Colonel Brandon became more pensive and quiet than he had been earlier, and Mrs. Jennings couldn't convince him to stay for long. No other guests showed up that evening, and the ladies all agreed to hit the hay early.[142]
Marianne rose the next morning with recovered spirits and happy looks. The disappointment of the evening before seemed forgotten in the expectation of what was to happen that day. They had not long finished their breakfast before Mrs. Palmer's barouche stopped at the door, and in a few minutes she came laughing into the room: so delighted to see them all, that it was hard to say whether she received most pleasure from meeting her mother or the Miss Dashwoods again. So surprised at their coming to town, though it was what she had rather expected all along; so angry at their accepting her mother's invitation after having declined her own, though at the same time she would never have forgiven them if they had not come!
Marianne got up the next morning in a good mood and looking cheerful. The disappointment from the night before seemed forgotten in the excitement of what was going to happen that day. They had barely finished breakfast when Mrs. Palmer's carriage pulled up to the door, and a few minutes later, she came laughing into the room. She was so happy to see everyone that it was hard to tell whether she was more excited to see her mother or the Miss Dashwoods again. She was surprised they had come to town, even though she had kind of expected it all along; she was annoyed that they accepted her mother's invitation after turning down hers, but at the same time, she would have been really upset if they hadn’t come at all!
"Mr. Palmer will be so happy to see you," said she; "What do you think he said when he heard of your coming with Mamma? I forget what it was now, but it was something so droll!"
"Mr. Palmer will be so happy to see you," she said. "What do you think he said when he found out you were coming with Mom? I can't remember exactly, but it was something really funny!"
After an hour or two spent in what her mother called comfortable chat, or in other words, in every variety of inquiry concerning all their acquaintance on Mrs. Jennings's side, and in laughter without cause on Mrs. Palmer's, it was proposed by the latter that they should all accompany her to some shops where she had business that morning, to which Mrs. Jennings and Elinor readily consented, as having likewise some purchases to make themselves; and Marianne, though declining it at first was induced to go likewise.
After one or two hours spent in what her mom called casual conversation, or in other words, asking all kinds of questions about everyone they knew on Mrs. Jennings's side, and laughing for no reason on Mrs. Palmer's side, Mrs. Palmer suggested they all go with her to some shops where she had errands to run that morning. Mrs. Jennings and Elinor agreed right away since they also had some shopping to do, and Marianne, although she initially refused, was persuaded to join them as well.
Wherever they went, she was evidently always on the watch. In Bond Street especially, where much of their business lay, her eyes were in constant inquiry; and in whatever shop the party were engaged, her mind was equally abstracted from every thing actually before them, from all that interested and occupied the others. Restless and dissatisfied every where, her sister could never obtain her opinion of any article of purchase, however it might equally concern them both: she received no pleasure from anything; was only impatient to be at home again, and could with difficulty govern her vexation at the tediousness of Mrs. Palmer, whose eye was caught by every thing pretty, expensive, or new; who was wild to buy all, could determine on none, and dawdled away her time in rapture and indecision.
Wherever they went, she was clearly always on alert. In Bond Street, especially, where most of their business was done, her eyes were constantly scanning everything; and in whatever store they were browsing, her mind was completely disconnected from what was in front of them and from anything that engaged the others. Restless and dissatisfied everywhere, her sister could never get her opinion on any item they considered buying, no matter how much it concerned them both: she found no joy in anything; she was only eager to get back home and struggled to hide her annoyance at Mrs. Palmer's endless chatter, who was captivated by everything pretty, expensive, or new; she was eager to buy it all but couldn’t decide on anything, wasting her time in excitement and uncertainty.
It was late in the morning before they returned home; and[143] no sooner had they entered the house than Marianne flew eagerly up stairs, and when Elinor followed, she found her turning from the table with a sorrowful countenance, which declared that no Willoughby had been there.
It was late in the morning when they got back home; and [143] as soon as they stepped inside, Marianne hurried up the stairs. When Elinor followed her, she saw Marianne turning away from the table with a sad expression that made it clear that Willoughby hadn’t come by.
"Has no letter been left here for me since we went out?" said she to the footman who then entered with the parcels. She was answered in the negative. "Are you quite sure of it?" she replied. "Are you certain that no servant, no porter has left any letter or note?"
"Has no letter been left here for me since we went out?" she asked the footman who entered with the packages. He replied that there wasn’t any. "Are you absolutely sure?" she responded. "Are you certain that no servant or delivery person has left any letter or note?"
The man replied that none had.
The man replied that no one had.
"How very odd!" said she, in a low and disappointed voice, as she turned away to the window.
"That's so strange!" she said, in a quiet and let-down voice, as she turned away to the window.
"How odd, indeed!" repeated Elinor within herself, regarding her sister with uneasiness. "If she had not known him to be in town she would not have written to him, as she did; she would have written to Combe Magna; and if he is in town, how odd that he should neither come nor write! Oh! my dear mother, you must be wrong in permitting an engagement between a daughter so young, a man so little known, to be carried on in so doubtful, so mysterious a manner! I long to inquire; and how will my interference be borne."
"How strange, really!" Elinor thought to herself, watching her sister with concern. "If she hadn’t known he was in town, she wouldn’t have written to him like that; she would have written to Combe Magna. And if he is in town, how odd that he hasn’t come or written! Oh, my dear mother, you must be mistaken to allow an engagement between such a young daughter and a man so little known to be handled in such a uncertain, mysterious way! I really want to ask; I wonder how my interference will be taken."
She determined, after some consideration, that if appearances continued many days longer as unpleasant as they now were, she would represent in the strongest manner to her mother the necessity of some serious enquiry into the affair.
She decided, after some thought, that if things stayed as unpleasant for many more days as they currently were, she would strongly urge her mother to look into the matter seriously.
Mrs. Palmer and two elderly ladies of Mrs. Jennings's intimate acquaintance, whom she had met and invited in the morning, dined with them. The former left them soon after tea to fulfill her evening engagements; and Elinor was obliged to assist in making a whist table for the others. Marianne was of no use on these occasions, as she would never learn the game; but though her time was therefore at her own disposal, the evening was by no means more productive of pleasure to her than to Elinor, for it was spent in all the anxiety of expectation and the pain of disappointment. She sometimes endeavoured for a few minutes to read; but the book was soon thrown aside, and she returned to the more interesting employment of walking backwards and forwards across the room, pausing for a moment whenever she came to the window, in hopes of distinguishing the long-expected rap.
Mrs. Palmer and two elderly friends of Mrs. Jennings, whom she had met and invited earlier that day, joined them for dinner. Mrs. Palmer left shortly after tea to attend her evening commitments, and Elinor had to help set up a whist game for the others. Marianne was no help in these situations since she refused to learn the game, but even though her time was her own, the evening brought her no more pleasure than it did Elinor, as it was filled with anxiety and disappointment. She occasionally tried to read for a few minutes, but soon discarded the book and returned to the more engaging task of pacing back and forth across the room, pausing at the window every time, hoping to hear the much-anticipated knock.
CHAPTER XXVII
"If this open weather holds much longer," said Mrs. Jennings, when they met at breakfast the following morning, "Sir John will not like leaving Barton next week; 'tis a sad thing for sportsmen to lose a day's pleasure. Poor souls! I always pity them when they do; they seem to take it so much to heart."
"If this nice weather keeps up much longer," said Mrs. Jennings when they met for breakfast the next morning, "Sir John won't want to leave Barton next week; it's really unfortunate for sports lovers to miss a day of fun. Poor things! I always feel sorry for them when that happens; they really seem to take it hard."
"That is true," cried Marianne, in a cheerful voice, and walking to the window as she spoke, to examine the day. "I had not thought of that. This weather will keep many sportsmen in the country."
"That's true," Marianne said cheerfully, walking to the window to check the weather. "I hadn't thought of that. This weather will keep a lot of sports fans here."
It was a lucky recollection, all her good spirits were restored by it. "It is charming weather for them indeed," she continued, as she sat down to the breakfast table with a happy countenance. "How much they must enjoy it! But" (with a little return of anxiety) "it cannot be expected to last long. At this time of the year, and after such a series of rain, we shall certainly have very little more of it. Frosts will soon set in, and in all probability with severity. In another day or two perhaps; this extreme mildness can hardly last longer—nay, perhaps it may freeze tonight!"
It was a lucky memory, and it brought back all her good spirits. "The weather is really nice for them," she said as she sat down at the breakfast table with a cheerful expression. "They must be loving it! But" (with a hint of worry) "it can't be expected to last long. At this time of year, especially after all this rain, we won't have much more of it. Frosts will soon come, and they'll probably be pretty harsh. Maybe in a day or two; this unusually mild weather can't stick around much longer—actually, it might freeze tonight!"
"At any rate," said Elinor, wishing to prevent Mrs. Jennings from seeing her sister's thoughts as clearly as she did, "I dare say we shall have Sir John and Lady Middleton in town by the end of next week."
"Anyway," said Elinor, trying to keep Mrs. Jennings from reading her sister's thoughts as easily as she could, "I'm sure we'll have Sir John and Lady Middleton in town by the end of next week."
"Ay, my dear, I'll warrant you we do. Mary always has her own way."
"Ay, my dear, I'm sure we do. Mary always gets her way."
"And now," silently conjectured Elinor, "she will write to Combe by this day's post."
"And now," Elinor thought to herself, "she will write to Combe in today's mail."
But if she did, the letter was written and sent away with a privacy which eluded all her watchfulness to ascertain the fact. Whatever the truth of it might be, and far as Elinor was from feeling thorough contentment about it, yet while she saw Marianne in spirits, she could not be very uncomfortable herself. And Marianne was in spirits; happy in the mildness of the weather, and still happier in her expectation of a frost.
But if she did, the letter was written and sent off without her being able to figure it out. No matter what the truth was, and even though Elinor wasn't completely satisfied with it, she couldn't be too upset as long as she saw Marianne in good spirits. And Marianne was in good spirits; she was happy with the mild weather and even happier at the thought of a frost.
The morning was chiefly spent in leaving cards at the[145] houses of Mrs. Jennings's acquaintance to inform them of her being in town; and Marianne was all the time busy in observing the direction of the wind, watching the variations of the sky and imagining an alteration in the air.
The morning was mostly spent dropping off cards at the[145] houses of Mrs. Jennings's friends to let them know she was in town; meanwhile, Marianne was busy tracking the wind direction, watching the changes in the sky, and imagining a shift in the atmosphere.
"Don't you find it colder than it was in the morning, Elinor? There seems to me a very decided difference. I can hardly keep my hands warm even in my muff. It was not so yesterday, I think. The clouds seem parting too, the sun will be out in a moment, and we shall have a clear afternoon."
"Don't you think it's colder now than it was this morning, Elinor? I definitely feel a noticeable difference. I can barely keep my hands warm even with my muff. It wasn't like this yesterday, I believe. The clouds seem to be clearing up too; the sun will be out any minute, and we'll have a nice clear afternoon."
Elinor was alternately diverted and pained; but Marianne persevered, and saw every night in the brightness of the fire, and every morning in the appearance of the atmosphere, the certain symptoms of approaching frost.
Elinor felt both entertained and troubled; however, Marianne continued to insist that every night in the glow of the fire and every morning in the look of the sky, she could see clear signs of frost coming.
The Miss Dashwoods had no greater reason to be dissatisfied with Mrs. Jennings's style of living, and set of acquaintance, than with her behaviour to themselves, which was invariably kind. Every thing in her household arrangements was conducted on the most liberal plan, and excepting a few old city friends, whom, to Lady Middleton's regret, she had never dropped, she visited no one to whom an introduction could at all discompose the feelings of her young companions. Pleased to find herself more comfortably situated in that particular than she had expected, Elinor was very willing to compound for the want of much real enjoyment from any of their evening parties, which, whether at home or abroad, formed only for cards, could have little to amuse her.
The Dashwood sisters had no reason to be unhappy with Mrs. Jennings's way of living or her circle of friends, other than her consistently kind behavior towards them. Everything in her household was run very generously, and aside from a few old city friends that, much to Lady Middleton's dismay, she had never let go of, she didn't visit anyone who would upset her young companions' feelings. Delighted to find herself in a better situation than she expected, Elinor was more than willing to overlook the lack of real enjoyment from their evening gatherings, which, whether they were at home or out, were mainly just for playing cards and had little to entertain her.
Colonel Brandon, who had a general invitation to the house, was with them almost every day; he came to look at Marianne and talk to Elinor, who often derived more satisfaction from conversing with him than from any other daily occurrence, but who saw at the same time with much concern his continued regard for her sister. She feared it was a strengthening regard. It grieved her to see the earnestness with which he often watched Marianne, and his spirits were certainly worse than when at Barton.
Colonel Brandon, who had an open invitation to their home, was with them almost every day; he came to check on Marianne and talk to Elinor, who often felt more content chatting with him than with anything else in her day. However, she was also quite worried about his ongoing feelings for her sister. She feared it was a growing affection. It saddened her to witness the intensity with which he frequently observed Marianne, and his mood was definitely worse than when he was at Barton.
About a week after their arrival, it became certain that Willoughby was also arrived. His card was on the table when they came in from the morning's drive.
About a week after they arrived, it was clear that Willoughby had also shown up. His card was on the table when they came in from the morning drive.
"Good God!" cried Marianne, "he has been here while we were out." Elinor, rejoiced to be assured of his being in[146] London, now ventured to say, "Depend upon it, he will call again tomorrow." But Marianne seemed hardly to hear her, and on Mrs. Jennings's entrance, escaped with the precious card.
"Good God!" exclaimed Marianne, "he's been here while we were out." Elinor, relieved to know he was in[146] London, dared to say, "You can count on it, he’ll come back tomorrow." But Marianne barely seemed to listen, and when Mrs. Jennings walked in, she dashed off with the valuable card.
This event, while it raised the spirits of Elinor, restored to those of her sister all, and more than all, their former agitation. From this moment her mind was never quiet; the expectation of seeing him every hour of the day, made her unfit for any thing. She insisted on being left behind, the next morning, when the others went out.
This event, while it lifted Elinor's spirits, completely overwhelmed her sister with even more agitation than before. From that moment on, her mind was never at peace; the thought of seeing him every hour made her unable to focus on anything else. She insisted on staying behind the next morning when the others went out.
Elinor's thoughts were full of what might be passing in Berkeley Street during their absence; but a moment's glance at her sister when they returned was enough to inform her, that Willoughby had paid no second visit there. A note was just then brought in, and laid on the table.
Elinor couldn't stop wondering what was happening on Berkeley Street while they were away, but just one look at her sister when they got back told her that Willoughby hadn't visited a second time. At that moment, a note was brought in and placed on the table.
"For me!" cried Marianne, stepping hastily forward.
"For me!" shouted Marianne, stepping forward quickly.
"No, ma'am, for my mistress."
"No, ma'am, it's for my boss."
But Marianne, not convinced, took it instantly up.
But Marianne, not convinced, picked it up right away.
"It is indeed for Mrs. Jennings; how provoking!"
"It really is for Mrs. Jennings; how annoying!"
"You are expecting a letter, then?" said Elinor, unable to be longer silent.
"You’re expecting a letter, right?" Elinor said, unable to stay quiet any longer.
"Yes, a little—not much."
"Yeah, a bit—not much."
After a short pause. "You have no confidence in me, Marianne."
After a brief pause, he said, "You don't trust me, Marianne."
"Nay, Elinor, this reproach from you—you who have confidence in no one!"
"Nah, Elinor, this criticism coming from you—you who trust no one!"
"Me!" returned Elinor in some confusion; "indeed, Marianne, I have nothing to tell."
"Me!" Elinor replied, a bit confused. "Honestly, Marianne, I have nothing to share."
"Nor I," answered Marianne with energy, "our situations then are alike. We have neither of us any thing to tell; you, because you do not communicate, and I, because I conceal nothing."
"Me neither," Marianne replied forcefully, "our situations are the same. Neither of us has anything to share; you, because you don’t open up, and I, because I’m not hiding anything."
Elinor, distressed by this charge of reserve in herself, which she was not at liberty to do away, knew not how, under such circumstances, to press for greater openness in Marianne.
Elinor, upset by this accusation of being reserved, which she couldn't just get rid of, didn't know how to encourage Marianne to be more open given the situation.
Mrs. Jennings soon appeared, and the note being given her, she read it aloud. It was from Lady Middleton, announcing their arrival in Conduit Street the night before, and requesting the company of her mother and cousins the following evening. Business on Sir John's part, and a violent[147] cold on her own, prevented their calling in Berkeley Street. The invitation was accepted; but when the hour of appointment drew near, necessary as it was in common civility to Mrs. Jennings, that they should both attend her on such a visit, Elinor had some difficulty in persuading her sister to go, for still she had seen nothing of Willoughby; and therefore was not more indisposed for amusement abroad, than unwilling to run the risk of his calling again in her absence.
Mrs. Jennings appeared shortly after, and when the note was handed to her, she read it out loud. It was from Lady Middleton, letting them know that they had arrived in Conduit Street the previous night and inviting her mother and cousins to join them the next evening. Sir John had business to attend to, and Mrs. Jennings was dealing with a bad cold, which meant they couldn't drop by Berkeley Street. The invitation was accepted; however, as the time for the visit approached, Elinor found it difficult to convince her sister to go. Marianne hadn’t seen Willoughby yet, so she was not only disinclined to go out for fun but also reluctant to risk missing him if he happened to call while she was gone.
Elinor found, when the evening was over, that disposition is not materially altered by a change of abode, for although scarcely settled in town, Sir John had contrived to collect around him, nearly twenty young people, and to amuse them with a ball. This was an affair, however, of which Lady Middleton did not approve. In the country, an unpremeditated dance was very allowable; but in London, where the reputation of elegance was more important and less easily attained, it was risking too much for the gratification of a few girls, to have it known that Lady Middleton had given a small dance of eight or nine couple, with two violins, and a mere side-board collation.
Elinor realized, after the evening was over, that your mood doesn’t really change just because you move to a different place. Even though they had barely settled in town, Sir John had managed to gather nearly twenty young people and entertain them with a ball. However, Lady Middleton wasn't on board with this. In the country, an impromptu dance was perfectly fine; but in London, where reputation and style mattered more and were harder to achieve, it was a big risk just for the enjoyment of a few girls to let it be known that Lady Middleton hosted a small dance with eight or nine couples, two violins, and a simple buffet.
Mr. and Mrs. Palmer were of the party; from the former, whom they had not seen before since their arrival in town, as he was careful to avoid the appearance of any attention to his mother-in-law, and therefore never came near her, they received no mark of recognition on their entrance. He looked at them slightly, without seeming to know who they were, and merely nodded to Mrs. Jennings from the other side of the room. Marianne gave one glance round the apartment as she entered: it was enough—he was not there—and she sat down, equally ill-disposed to receive or communicate pleasure. After they had been assembled about an hour, Mr. Palmer sauntered towards the Miss Dashwoods to express his surprise on seeing them in town, though Colonel Brandon had been first informed of their arrival at his house, and he had himself said something very droll on hearing that they were to come.
Mr. and Mrs. Palmer were part of the group; from Mr. Palmer, whom they hadn't seen since arriving in town because he made sure to steer clear of drawing attention to his mother-in-law and never approached her, they received no acknowledgment when they walked in. He gave them a casual glance, seeming not to recognize them, and simply nodded to Mrs. Jennings from across the room. Marianne quickly scanned the room as she entered: it was enough—he wasn't there—and she sat down, equally unwilling to receive or share any joy. After about an hour of everyone being gathered, Mr. Palmer casually walked over to the Miss Dashwoods to express his surprise at seeing them in town, even though Colonel Brandon had already been informed of their arrival at his place, and he had made a pretty funny remark upon hearing they were coming.
"I thought you were both in Devonshire," said he.
"I thought you both were in Devon."
"Did you?" replied Elinor.
"Did you?" Elinor replied.
"When do you go back again?"
"When are you going back again?"
"I do not know." And thus ended their discourse.
"I don’t know." And that was the end of their conversation.
Never had Marianne been so unwilling to dance in her life, as she was that evening, and never so much fatigued by[148] the exercise. She complained of it as they returned to Berkeley Street.
Never had Marianne felt so reluctant to dance in her life as she did that evening, and never had she been so tired from the activity. She grumbled about it as they headed back to Berkeley Street.
"Aye, aye," said Mrs. Jennings, "we know the reason of all that very well; if a certain person who shall be nameless, had been there, you would not have been a bit tired: and to say the truth it was not very pretty of him not to give you the meeting when he was invited."
"Yeah, yeah," said Mrs. Jennings, "we understand the reason for all that very well; if a certain someone who shall remain nameless had been there, you wouldn't have been tired at all: and to be honest, it wasn't very nice of him not to show up when he was invited."
"Invited!" cried Marianne.
"Invited!" exclaimed Marianne.
"So my daughter Middleton told me, for it seems Sir John met him somewhere in the street this morning." Marianne said no more, but looked exceedingly hurt. Impatient in this situation to be doing something that might lead to her sister's relief, Elinor resolved to write the next morning to her mother, and hoped by awakening her fears for the health of Marianne, to procure those inquiries which had been so long delayed; and she was still more eagerly bent on this measure by perceiving after breakfast on the morrow, that Marianne was again writing to Willoughby, for she could not suppose it to be to any other person.
"So my daughter Middleton told me. It seems Sir John ran into him somewhere on the street this morning." Marianne said nothing more but looked really hurt. Feeling impatient and wanting to do something to help her sister, Elinor decided to write to her mother the next morning. She hoped that by raising concerns about Marianne’s health, she could get the inquiries that had been so long delayed. She felt even more determined to go through with this plan after noticing that Marianne was once again writing to Willoughby after breakfast the next day, as she couldn't believe it was for anyone else.
About the middle of the day, Mrs. Jennings went out by herself on business, and Elinor began her letter directly, while Marianne, too restless for employment, too anxious for conversation, walked from one window to the other, or sat down by the fire in melancholy meditation. Elinor was very earnest in her application to her mother, relating all that had passed, her suspicions of Willoughby's inconstancy, urging her by every plea of duty and affection to demand from Marianne an account of her real situation with respect to him.
Around midday, Mrs. Jennings went out alone on some business, and Elinor started her letter right away. Meanwhile, Marianne, too restless to focus on anything and eager for conversation, walked back and forth between the windows or sat by the fire lost in thought. Elinor was deeply focused on her appeal to her mother, sharing everything that had happened, her doubts about Willoughby’s loyalty, and imploring her to press Marianne for the truth about her situation with him, using every argument of duty and love.
Her letter was scarcely finished, when a rap foretold a visitor, and Colonel Brandon was announced. Marianne, who had seen him from the window, and who hated company of any kind, left the room before he entered it. He looked more than usually grave, and though expressing satisfaction at finding Miss Dashwood alone, as if he had somewhat in particular to tell her, sat for some time without saying a word. Elinor, persuaded that he had some communication to make in which her sister was concerned, impatiently expected its opening. It was not the first time of her feeling the same kind of conviction; for, more than once before, beginning with the observation of "your sister looks unwell to-day," or "your[149] sister seems out of spirits," he had appeared on the point, either of disclosing, or of inquiring, something particular about her. After a pause of several minutes, their silence was broken, by his asking her in a voice of some agitation, when he was to congratulate her on the acquisition of a brother? Elinor was not prepared for such a question, and having no answer ready, was obliged to adopt the simple and common expedient, of asking what he meant? He tried to smile as he replied, "your sister's engagement to Mr. Willoughby is very generally known."
Her letter was barely done when there was a knock, signaling a visitor, and Colonel Brandon was announced. Marianne, who had seen him from the window and despised any kind of company, left the room before he came in. He looked more serious than usual, and although he seemed pleased to find Miss Dashwood alone, as if he had something specific to tell her, he sat in silence for a while. Elinor, convinced that he had news regarding her sister, impatiently awaited the conversation to start. This wasn’t the first time she had felt this way; more than once before, he had begun with remarks like “your sister looks unwell today” or “your sister seems down,” and appeared ready to reveal or ask something specific about her. After a few minutes of silence, he broke it by asking her, in a somewhat agitated voice, when he should congratulate her on gaining a brother. Elinor wasn’t prepared for such a question and, with no answer ready, she simply asked what he meant. He attempted to smile as he replied, “Your sister’s engagement to Mr. Willoughby is very well known.”
"It cannot be generally known," returned Elinor, "for her own family do not know it."
"It can't be known by everyone," Elinor replied, "because even her own family doesn't know it."
He looked surprised and said, "I beg your pardon, I am afraid my inquiry has been impertinent; but I had not supposed any secrecy intended, as they openly correspond, and their marriage is universally talked of."
He looked surprised and said, "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude; I just didn’t think there was any secrecy involved since they communicate openly, and everyone is talking about their marriage."
"How can that be? By whom can you have heard it mentioned?"
"How is that possible? Who could have mentioned it to you?"
"By many—by some of whom you know nothing, by others with whom you are most intimate, Mrs. Jennings, Mrs. Palmer, and the Middletons. But still I might not have believed it, for where the mind is perhaps rather unwilling to be convinced, it will always find something to support its doubts, if I had not, when the servant let me in today, accidentally seen a letter in his hand, directed to Mr. Willoughby in your sister's writing. I came to inquire, but I was convinced before I could ask the question. Is every thing finally settled? Is it impossible to-? But I have no right, and I could have no chance of succeeding. Excuse me, Miss Dashwood. I believe I have been wrong in saying so much, but I hardly know what to do, and on your prudence I have the strongest dependence. Tell me that it is all absolutely resolved on, that any attempt, that in short concealment, if concealment be possible, is all that remains."
"By many people—some you don’t know at all, and others like Mrs. Jennings, Mrs. Palmer, and the Middletons, who you’re close to. But I might not have believed it if my mind wasn’t already a bit resistant to being convinced; it tends to find reasons to support its doubts. However, when the servant let me in today, I accidentally saw a letter in his hand addressed to Mr. Willoughby, written in your sister's handwriting. I came to ask about it, but I was already convinced before I could even ask. Is everything finally settled? Is it impossible to...? But I really shouldn’t ask, and I don’t have a chance of being successful. I’m sorry, Miss Dashwood. I realize I’ve said too much, but I’m not sure what to do, and I’m counting on your good judgment. Please tell me that everything has been completely resolved, and that all that’s left is some form of concealment, if that’s even possible."
These words, which conveyed to Elinor a direct avowal of his love for her sister, affected her very much. She was not immediately able to say anything, and even when her spirits were recovered, she debated for a short time, on the answer it would be most proper to give. The real state of things between Willoughby and her sister was so little known to herself, that in endeavouring to explain it, she might be as[150] liable to say too much as too little. Yet as she was convinced that Marianne's affection for Willoughby, could leave no hope of Colonel Brandon's success, whatever the event of that affection might be, and at the same time wished to shield her conduct from censure, she thought it most prudent and kind, after some consideration, to say more than she really knew or believed. She acknowledged, therefore, that though she had never been informed by themselves of the terms on which they stood with each other, of their mutual affection she had no doubt, and of their correspondence she was not astonished to hear.
These words, which expressed to Elinor a clear confession of his love for her sister, deeply affected her. She couldn't respond right away, and even after she regained her composure, she took a moment to consider the most appropriate answer to give. She was so unaware of the true situation between Willoughby and her sister that in trying to explain it, she might risk saying too much as well as too little. However, since she was convinced that Marianne's feelings for Willoughby meant that there was no chance for Colonel Brandon to succeed, no matter what happened with those feelings, and at the same time wanted to protect her sister from criticism, she thought it was wise and kind, after some thought, to say more than she actually knew or believed. Therefore, she admitted that even though they had never told her directly about the nature of their relationship, she had no doubt about their mutual affection and wasn't surprised to hear about their correspondence.
He listened to her with silent attention, and on her ceasing to speak, rose directly from his seat, and after saying in a voice of emotion, "to your sister I wish all imaginable happiness; to Willoughby that he may endeavour to deserve her,"—took leave, and went away.
He listened to her quietly, and when she finished speaking, he stood up from his seat and said with feeling, "I wish your sister all the happiness in the world; to Willoughby, I hope he tries to earn it,"—and then he said goodbye and left.
Elinor derived no comfortable feelings from this conversation, to lessen the uneasiness of her mind on other points; she was left, on the contrary, with a melancholy impression of Colonel Brandon's unhappiness, and was prevented even from wishing it removed, by her anxiety for the very event that must confirm it.
Elinor didn’t feel any comfort from this conversation to ease her worries about other things; instead, she was left with a sad impression of Colonel Brandon's unhappiness, and she couldn’t even wish for it to change because she was anxious about the very thing that would confirm it.
CHAPTER XXVIII
Nothing occurred during the next three or four days, to make Elinor regret what she had done, in applying to her mother; for Willoughby neither came nor wrote. They were engaged about the end of that time to attend Lady Middleton to a party, from which Mrs. Jennings was kept away by the indisposition of her youngest daughter; and for this party, Marianne, wholly dispirited, careless of her appearance, and seeming equally indifferent whether she went or staid, prepared, without one look of hope or one expression of pleasure. She sat by the drawing-room fire after tea, till the moment of Lady Middleton's arrival, without once stirring from her seat, or altering her attitude, lost in her own thoughts, and insensible of her sister's presence; and when at last they were told that[151] Lady Middleton waited for them at the door, she started as if she had forgotten that any one was expected.
Nothing happened in the next three or four days to make Elinor regret approaching her mother, since Willoughby neither came nor wrote. They were scheduled to go with Lady Middleton to a party around that time, from which Mrs. Jennings was absent due to her youngest daughter's illness; and for this party, Marianne, completely downhearted, indifferent about her appearance, and seeming just as unconcerned about going or staying, prepared without a single glimmer of hope or expression of joy. She sat by the drawing-room fire after tea, until the moment of Lady Middleton's arrival, without once moving from her seat or changing her posture, lost in her own thoughts and oblivious to her sister's presence; and when they were finally informed that[151] Lady Middleton was waiting for them at the door, she jumped as if she had forgotten anyone was expected.
They arrived in due time at the place of destination, and as soon as the string of carriages before them would allow, alighted, ascended the stairs, heard their names announced from one landing-place to another in an audible voice, and entered a room splendidly lit up, quite full of company, and insufferably hot. When they had paid their tribute of politeness by curtsying to the lady of the house, they were permitted to mingle in the crowd, and take their share of the heat and inconvenience, to which their arrival must necessarily add. After some time spent in saying little or doing less, Lady Middleton sat down to Cassino, and as Marianne was not in spirits for moving about, she and Elinor luckily succeeding to chairs, placed themselves at no great distance from the table.
They arrived on time at their destination, and as soon as the line of carriages in front of them allowed, they got out, went up the stairs, heard their names announced from one landing to another, and entered a brightly lit room that was packed with people and incredibly hot. After they greeted the hostess with a curtsy, they were allowed to blend in with the crowd and share in the heat and discomfort that their arrival would inevitably bring. After spending some time saying a little and doing even less, Lady Middleton sat down to play Cassino, and since Marianne wasn’t in the mood to move around, she and Elinor fortunately found chairs not far from the table.
They had not remained in this manner long, before Elinor perceived Willoughby, standing within a few yards of them, in earnest conversation with a very fashionable looking young woman. She soon caught his eye, and he immediately bowed, but without attempting to speak to her, or to approach Marianne, though he could not but see her; and then continued his discourse with the same lady. Elinor turned involuntarily to Marianne, to see whether it could be unobserved by her. At that moment she first perceived him, and her whole countenance glowing with sudden delight, she would have moved towards him instantly, had not her sister caught hold of her.
They hadn't been in that spot long before Elinor noticed Willoughby standing just a few yards away, having a serious conversation with a very stylish young woman. She quickly caught his eye, and he immediately bowed, but he didn't try to speak to her or approach Marianne, even though he clearly saw her. He then went back to talking with the same lady. Elinor instinctively turned to Marianne, hoping she hadn't noticed. At that moment, Marianne saw him for the first time, and her entire face lit up with delight. She would have rushed over to him right away if her sister hadn't grabbed her.
"Good heavens!" she exclaimed, "he is there—he is there—Oh! why does he not look at me? why cannot I speak to him?"
"Good heavens!" she exclaimed, "he's right there—he's right there—Oh! why isn't he looking at me? why can't I talk to him?"
"Pray, pray be composed," cried Elinor, "and do not betray what you feel to every body present. Perhaps he has not observed you yet."
"Please, please stay calm," Elinor exclaimed, "and don’t show what you're feeling to everyone here. Maybe he hasn't noticed you yet."
This however was more than she could believe herself; and to be composed at such a moment was not only beyond the reach of Marianne, it was beyond her wish. She sat in an agony of impatience which affected every feature.
This, however, was more than she could believe; and staying calm at such a moment was not only beyond Marianne's grasp, it was beyond her desire. She sat in an unbearable impatience that showed on every part of her face.
At last he turned round again, and regarded them both; she started up, and pronouncing his name in a tone of affection, held out her hand to him. He approached, and addressing [153]himself rather to Elinor than Marianne, as if wishing to avoid her eye, and determined not to observe her attitude, inquired in a hurried manner after Mrs. Dashwood, and asked how long they had been in town. Elinor was robbed of all presence of mind by such an address, and was unable to say a word. But the feelings of her sister were instantly expressed. Her face was crimsoned over, and she exclaimed, in a voice of the greatest emotion, "Good God! Willoughby, what is the meaning of this? Have you not received my letters? Will you not shake hands with me?"
At last, he turned around again and looked at both of them. She jumped up and, saying his name affectionately, reached out her hand to him. He stepped closer, addressing [153] Elinor more than Marianne, as if trying to avoid her gaze and not wanting to acknowledge her feelings. He hurriedly asked about Mrs. Dashwood and how long they had been in town. Elinor was so caught off guard by his questions that she couldn't say anything. But her sister's emotions were immediately clear. Her face turned bright red, and she exclaimed, with great emotion, "Good God! Willoughby, what does this mean? Haven't you gotten my letters? Will you not shake hands with me?"
He could not then avoid it, but her touch seemed painful to him, and he held her hand only for a moment. During all this time he was evidently struggling for composure. Elinor watched his countenance and saw its expression becoming more tranquil. After a moment's pause, he spoke with calmness.
He couldn't avoid it then, but her touch felt painful to him, and he only held her hand for a moment. Throughout this time, he was clearly trying to keep his composure. Elinor watched his face and noticed it becoming more relaxed. After a brief pause, he spoke calmly.
"I did myself the honour of calling in Berkeley Street last Tuesday, and very much regretted that I was not fortunate enough to find yourselves and Mrs. Jennings at home. My card was not lost, I hope."
"I had the pleasure of stopping by Berkeley Street last Tuesday and really regretted that I wasn't lucky enough to find you and Mrs. Jennings at home. I hope my card didn't get lost."
"But have you not received my notes?" cried Marianne in the wildest anxiety. "Here is some mistake I am sure—some dreadful mistake. What can be the meaning of it? Tell me, Willoughby; for heaven's sake tell me, what is the matter?"
"But have you not gotten my notes?" Marianne exclaimed, her anxiety reaching a peak. "I'm sure there's been some mistake—some terrible mistake. What can it mean? Please, Willoughby; for heaven's sake, tell me what's going on?"
He made no reply; his complexion changed and all his embarrassment returned; but as if, on catching the eye of the young lady with whom he had been previously talking, he felt the necessity of instant exertion, he recovered himself again, and after saying, "Yes, I had the pleasure of receiving the information of your arrival in town, which you were so good as to send me," turned hastily away with a slight bow and joined his friend.
He didn’t respond; his color changed and all his embarrassment came back. But as if he needed to act immediately when he caught the eye of the young woman he had been talking to before, he composed himself again. After saying, "Yes, I received the information about your arrival in town that you kindly sent me," he quickly turned away with a slight bow and joined his friend.
Marianne, now looking dreadfully white, and unable to stand, sunk into her chair, and Elinor, expecting every moment to see her faint, tried to screen her from the observation of others, while reviving her with lavender water.
Marianne, now looking extremely pale and unable to stand, sank into her chair, and Elinor, expecting any moment to see her faint, tried to shield her from the attention of others while reviving her with lavender water.
"Go to him, Elinor," she cried, as soon as she could speak, "and force him to come to me. Tell him I must see him again—must speak to him instantly. I cannot rest—I shall not have a moment's peace till this is explained—some dreadful misapprehension or other. Oh, go to him this moment."[154]
"Go to him, Elinor," she shouted as soon as she could speak, "and make him come to me. Tell him I need to see him again—I need to talk to him right now. I can't relax—I won't have a moment's peace until this is sorted out—some awful misunderstanding or something. Oh, please, go to him right now."[154]
"How can that be done? No, my dearest Marianne, you must wait. This is not the place for explanations. Wait only till tomorrow."
"How can that be done? No, my dear Marianne, you need to wait. This isn’t the right place for explanations. Just wait until tomorrow."
With difficulty however could she prevent her from following him herself; and to persuade her to check her agitation, to wait, at least, with the appearance of composure, till she might speak to him with more privacy and more effect, was impossible; for Marianne continued incessantly to give way in a low voice to the misery of her feelings, by exclamations of wretchedness. In a short time Elinor saw Willoughby quit the room by the door towards the staircase, and telling Marianne that he was gone, urged the impossibility of speaking to him again that evening, as a fresh argument for her to be calm. She instantly begged her sister would entreat Lady Middleton to take them home, as she was too miserable to stay a minute longer.
With difficulty, however, she could stop her from following him; and convincing her to calm down, to at least wait with a semblance of composure until she could talk to him more privately and effectively, was impossible. Marianne kept expressing her feelings of distress in a quiet voice, filled with exclamations of sorrow. Soon, Elinor saw Willoughby leave the room through the door by the staircase, and telling Marianne that he had gone, she used the fact that it was impossible to speak to him again that evening as a reason for her to stay calm. Marianne immediately asked her sister to ask Lady Middleton to take them home, as she was too miserable to stay a moment longer.
Lady Middleton, though in the middle of a rubber, on being informed that Marianne was unwell, was too polite to object for a moment to her wish of going away, and making over her cards to a friend, they departed as soon as the carriage could be found. Scarcely a word was spoken during their return to Berkeley Street. Marianne was in a silent agony, too much oppressed even for tears; but as Mrs. Jennings was luckily not come home, they could go directly to their own room, where hartshorn restored her a little to herself. She was soon undressed and in bed, and as she seemed desirous of being alone, her sister then left her, and while she waited the return of Mrs. Jennings, had leisure enough for thinking over the past.
Lady Middleton, even in the middle of a game, was too polite to complain when she heard that Marianne was feeling unwell. She immediately agreed to Marianne's request to leave and handed her cards over to a friend. They left as soon as the carriage was ready. Hardly a word was spoken on the way back to Berkeley Street. Marianne was in silent agony, too overwhelmed even to cry; thankfully, since Mrs. Jennings was not home, they could go straight to their own room, where hartshorn helped her feel a bit better. She quickly got undressed and into bed, and since she wanted to be alone, her sister left her. While waiting for Mrs. Jennings to return, she had plenty of time to reflect on the past.
That some kind of engagement had subsisted between Willoughby and Marianne she could not doubt, and that Willoughby was weary of it, seemed equally clear; for however Marianne might still feed her own wishes, she could not attribute such behaviour to mistake or misapprehension of any kind. Nothing but a thorough change of sentiment could account for it. Her indignation would have been still stronger than it was, had she not witnessed that embarrassment which seemed to speak a consciousness of his own misconduct, and prevented her from believing him so unprincipled as to have been sporting with the affections of her sister from the first, without any design that would bear investigation. Absence[155] might have weakened his regard, and convenience might have determined him to overcome it, but that such a regard had formerly existed she could not bring herself to doubt.
That some kind of connection had existed between Willoughby and Marianne was something she had no doubt about, and it also seemed clear that Willoughby was tired of it. No matter how much Marianne might still nurture her own hopes, she couldn't blame his behavior on any misunderstanding or confusion. Only a complete change of heart could explain it. Her anger would have been even stronger if she hadn’t seen the embarrassment that suggested he was aware of his own wrongdoing, which kept her from believing he was so thoughtless as to have toyed with her sister's feelings from the beginning without any serious intention behind it. Absence[155] might have diminished his feelings, and convenience might have pushed him to move on, but she couldn’t convince herself that such feelings hadn’t existed at one time.
As for Marianne, on the pangs which so unhappy a meeting must already have given her, and on those still more severe which might await her in its probable consequence, she could not reflect without the deepest concern. Her own situation gained in the comparison; for while she could esteem Edward as much as ever, however they might be divided in future, her mind might be always supported. But every circumstance that could embitter such an evil seemed uniting to heighten the misery of Marianne in a final separation from Willoughby—in an immediate and irreconcilable rupture with him.
As for Marianne, she couldn’t help but feel deep worry about the pain that such an unfortunate meeting must have already caused her, and the even greater pain that could potentially come from its likely aftermath. She found some solace in her own situation through the comparison; even though she and Edward might be separated in the future, she could still hold him in high regard, which helped her stay grounded. However, everything that could make such a terrible situation worse seemed to come together to intensify Marianne's suffering at the thought of a final separation from Willoughby—specifically, an immediate and irreparable break with him.
CHAPTER XXIX
Before the housemaid had lit their fire the next day, or the sun gained any power over a cold, gloomy morning in January, Marianne, only half dressed, was kneeling against one of the window-seats for the sake of all the little light she could command from it, and writing as fast as a continual flow of tears would permit her. In this situation, Elinor, roused from sleep by her agitation and sobs, first perceived her; and after observing her for a few moments with silent anxiety, said, in a tone of the most considerate gentleness—
Before the housemaid had started their fire the next day, or the sun had any strength over a cold, gloomy January morning, Marianne, only half dressed, was kneeling against one of the window seats to catch whatever little light she could, writing as quickly as her steady stream of tears would allow. In this moment, Elinor, awakened by her distress and sobs, was the first to notice her; and after watching her for a few moments with silent concern, she said, in the kindest tone—
"Marianne, may I ask—"
"Hey Marianne, can I ask—"
"No, Elinor," she replied, "ask nothing; you will soon know all."
"No, Elinor," she said, "don't ask anything; you'll find out everything soon."
The sort of desperate calmness with which this was said, lasted no longer than while she spoke, and was immediately followed by a return of the same excessive affliction. It was some minutes before she could go on with her letter, and the frequent bursts of grief which still obliged her, at intervals, to withhold her pen, were proofs enough of her feeling how more than probable it was that she was writing for the last time to Willoughby.
The desperate calmness with which she said this lasted only as long as she was speaking, and was quickly followed by a return of the same deep distress. It took her several minutes to continue with her letter, and the frequent outbursts of grief that forced her to pause and put down her pen were clear signs of her realization that it was highly likely she was writing to Willoughby for the last time.
Elinor paid her every quiet and unobtrusive attention in her power; and she would have tried to sooth and tranquilize her[156] still more, had not Marianne entreated her, with all the eagerness of the most nervous irritability, not to speak to her for the world. In such circumstances, it was better for both that they should not be long together; and the restless state of Marianne's mind not only prevented her from remaining in the room a moment after she was dressed, but requiring at once solitude and continual change of place, made her wander about the house till breakfast time, avoiding the sight of every body.
Elinor gave her as much quiet and discreet attention as she could; she would have tried to calm and relax her even more if Marianne hadn't urgently begged her, with all the intensity of her nervousness, not to talk to her at all. Given the situation, it was better for both of them not to spend too much time together; Marianne's restless mind not only kept her from staying in the room for even a moment after she got ready but also made her seek both solitude and constant change of scenery, causing her to wander around the house until breakfast, avoiding everyone.
At breakfast she neither ate, nor attempted to eat any thing; and Elinor's attention was then all employed, not in urging her, not in pitying her, nor in appearing to regard her, but in endeavouring to engage Mrs. Jennings's notice entirely to herself.
At breakfast, she didn't eat or even try to eat anything; and Elinor's focus was completely on trying to get Mrs. Jennings's attention solely on herself, not in urging her to eat, not in feeling sorry for her, and not in seeming to pay her any mind.
As this was a favourite meal with Mrs. Jennings, it lasted a considerable time, and they were just setting themselves, after it, round the common working table, when a letter was delivered to Marianne, which she eagerly caught from the servant, and, turning of a death-like paleness, instantly ran out of the room. Elinor, who saw as plainly by this, as if she had seen the direction, that it must come from Willoughby, felt immediately such a sickness at heart as made her hardly able to hold up her head, and sat in such a general tremor as made her fear it impossible to escape Mrs. Jennings's notice. That good lady, however, saw only that Marianne had received a letter from Willoughby, which appeared to her a very good joke, and which she treated accordingly, by hoping, with a laugh, that she would find it to her liking. Of Elinor's distress, she was too busily employed in measuring lengths of worsted for her rug, to see any thing at all; and calmly continuing her talk, as soon as Marianne disappeared, she said—
As this was one of Mrs. Jennings's favorite meals, it went on for quite a while, and they were just getting ready to sit around the common working table when a letter was delivered to Marianne. She eagerly grabbed it from the servant and, turning pale as a ghost, instantly ran out of the room. Elinor, who could see just as clearly as if she had seen the address, that it must be from Willoughby, immediately felt a sickness in her heart that made it hard for her to lift her head. She sat there trembling so much that she worried Mrs. Jennings would notice her distress. However, the good lady only noticed that Marianne had received a letter from Willoughby, which she thought was quite funny, and she commented accordingly, hoping with a laugh that Marianne would find it enjoyable. Elinor's distress went completely unnoticed, as Mrs. Jennings was too busy measuring lengths of yarn for her rug, and she calmly continued her conversation as soon as Marianne left, saying—
"Upon my word, I never saw a young woman so desperately in love in my life! My girls were nothing to her, and yet they used to be foolish enough; but as for Miss Marianne, she is quite an altered creature. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, he won't keep her waiting much longer, for it is quite grievous to see her look so ill and forlorn. Pray, when are they to be married?"
"Honestly, I've never seen a young woman so hopelessly in love in my life! My girls were nothing compared to her, and they used to be pretty silly; but Miss Marianne is completely changed. I truly hope he won't make her wait much longer because it's really upsetting to see her look so unwell and miserable. So, when are they getting married?"
Elinor, though never less disposed to speak than at that moment, obliged herself to answer such an attack as this,[157] and, therefore, trying to smile, replied, "And have you really, Ma'am, talked yourself into a persuasion of my sister's being engaged to Mr. Willoughby? I thought it had been only a joke, but so serious a question seems to imply more; and I must beg, therefore, that you will not deceive yourself any longer. I do assure you that nothing would surprise me more than to hear of their being going to be married."
Elinor, even though she was less inclined to speak than ever, forced herself to respond to such an attack as this,[157] and, trying to smile, replied, "Have you really convinced yourself, Ma'am, that my sister is engaged to Mr. Willoughby? I thought it was just a joke, but such a serious question suggests otherwise; so please, don’t deceive yourself any longer. I assure you that nothing would surprise me more than to hear they're getting married."
"For shame, for shame, Miss Dashwood! how can you talk so? Don't we all know that it must be a match, that they were over head and ears in love with each other from the first moment they met? Did not I see them together in Devonshire every day, and all day long; and did not I know that your sister came to town with me on purpose to buy wedding clothes? Come, come, this won't do. Because you are so sly about it yourself, you think nobody else has any senses; but it is no such thing, I can tell you, for it has been known all over town this ever so long. I tell every body of it and so does Charlotte."
"For shame, for shame, Miss Dashwood! How can you say that? Don't we all know it has to be a match? They were completely in love with each other from the moment they met! Didn’t I see them together in Devonshire every day, all day long? And didn’t I know that your sister came to town with me specifically to buy wedding clothes? Come on, this isn’t going to work. Just because you’re being so secretive about it, you think nobody else has any sense. But that’s not true, I can assure you, because everyone in town has known about this for ages. I tell everybody, and so does Charlotte."
"Indeed, Ma'am," said Elinor, very seriously, "you are mistaken. Indeed, you are doing a very unkind thing in spreading the report, and you will find that you have though you will not believe me now."
"Yes, Ma'am," Elinor said, very seriously, "you are mistaken. You're being very unkind by spreading this rumor, and you'll realize that, even though you might not believe me right now."
Mrs. Jennings laughed again, but Elinor had not spirits to say more, and eager at all events to know what Willoughby had written, hurried away to their room, where, on opening the door, she saw Marianne stretched on the bed, almost choked by grief, one letter in her hand, and two or three others laying by her. Elinor drew near, but without saying a word; and seating herself on the bed, took her hand, kissed her affectionately several times, and then gave way to a burst of tears, which at first was scarcely less violent than Marianne's. The latter, though unable to speak, seemed to feel all the tenderness of this behaviour, and after some time thus spent in joint affliction, she put all the letters into Elinor's hands; and then covering her face with her handkerchief, almost screamed with agony. Elinor, who knew that such grief, shocking as it was to witness it, must have its course, watched by her till this excess of suffering had somewhat spent itself, and then turning eagerly to Willoughby's letter, read as follows:[158]—
Mrs. Jennings laughed again, but Elinor didn't have the energy to say more, and eager to find out what Willoughby had written, hurried to their room. When she opened the door, she saw Marianne stretched out on the bed, nearly overwhelmed with grief, holding one letter in her hand and two or three others lying next to her. Elinor approached silently, sat down on the bed, took her hand, kissed her affectionately several times, and then let out a burst of tears that was almost as intense as Marianne's. Although Marianne couldn't speak, she seemed to appreciate the tenderness of Elinor's actions, and after some time spent in shared sorrow, she placed all the letters in Elinor's hands. Then, covering her face with her handkerchief, she nearly screamed in agony. Elinor, who realized that such intense grief, as shocking as it was to witness, needed to run its course, stayed by her side until this overwhelming suffering had eased a bit, and then eagerly turned to Willoughby's letter, reading as follows:[158]—
"Bond Street, January.
Bond Street, January.
"My Dear Madam,
"My Dear Madam,"
"I have just had the honour of receiving your letter, for which I beg to return my sincere acknowledgments. I am much concerned to find there was anything in my behaviour last night that did not meet your approbation; and though I am quite at a loss to discover in what point I could be so unfortunate as to offend you, I entreat your forgiveness of what I can assure you to have been perfectly unintentional. I shall never reflect on my former acquaintance with your family in Devonshire without the most grateful pleasure, and flatter myself it will not be broken by any mistake or misapprehension of my actions. My esteem for your whole family is very sincere; but if I have been so unfortunate as to give rise to a belief of more than I felt, or meant to express, I shall reproach myself for not having been more guarded in my professions of that esteem. That I should ever have meant more you will allow to be impossible, when you understand that my affections have been long engaged elsewhere, and it will not be many weeks, I believe, before this engagement is fulfilled. It is with great regret that I obey your commands in returning the letters with which I have been honoured from you, and the lock of hair, which you so obligingly bestowed on me.
"I just received your letter, and I want to sincerely thank you for it. I'm really sorry to hear there was anything in my behavior last night that didn’t meet your approval. Although I’m not sure where I went wrong, I ask for your forgiveness for what I assure you was completely unintentional. I will always look back on my time spent with your family in Devonshire with gratitude, and I hope that any misunderstanding won’t end that connection. I genuinely respect your entire family; however, if I have given the impression that I felt or intended something more than I actually do, I will regret not being more careful in expressing that respect. You must understand that I could never have meant anything beyond that, especially since my heart has been committed to someone else for quite a while now, and I believe it won’t be many weeks before that commitment is fulfilled. It is with great sadness that I follow your request to return the letters you sent me and the lock of hair you kindly gave me."
I am, dear Madam,
I am, dear Ma'am,
Your most obedient humble servant,
Your obedient servant,
"John Willoughby."
"John Willoughby."
With what indignation such a letter as this must be read by Miss Dashwood, may be imagined. Though aware, before she began it, that it must bring a confession of his inconstancy, and confirm their separation for ever, she was not aware that such language could be suffered to announce it; nor could she have supposed Willoughby capable of departing so far from the appearance of every honourable and delicate feeling—so far from the common decorum of a gentleman, as to send a letter so impudently cruel: a letter which, instead of bringing with his desire of a release any professions of regret, acknowledged no breach of faith, denied all peculiar affection whatever;—a letter of which every line was an insult, and which proclaimed its writer to be deep in hardened villainy.
With what anger Miss Dashwood must have read a letter like this is easy to imagine. Although she knew, before starting it, that it would bring a confession of his unfaithfulness and confirm their permanent separation, she had no idea that such harsh words could be used to convey it. Nor could she have thought Willoughby could stray so far from the expectations of honorable and sensitive feelings—so far from the basic decency of a gentleman—by sending a letter that was so shockingly cruel: a letter that, instead of expressing any regret along with his wish to break free, acknowledged no betrayal, denied any special affection at all;—a letter in which every line was an insult and which indicated its writer was deeply embedded in callous villainy.
She paused over it for some time with indignant astonishment; then read it again and again; but every perusal only[159] served to increase her abhorrence of the man, and so bitter were her feelings against him, that she dared not trust herself to speak, lest she might wound Marianne still deeper by treating their disengagement, not as a loss to her of any possible good but as an escape from the worst and most irremediable of all evils, a connection, for life, with an unprincipled man, as a deliverance the most real, a blessing the most important.
She stared at it for a while, feeling a mix of anger and disbelief; then she read it over and over again. But each time she did, it only made her hate the man more. Her feelings were so intense that she couldn’t risk saying anything, afraid it would hurt Marianne even more. She didn't want to frame their breakup as a loss of something good but rather as a relief from something truly terrible: a lifelong connection with a dishonest man. It felt more like a real escape, a significant blessing.
In her earnest meditations on the contents of the letter, on the depravity of that mind which could dictate it, and probably, on the very different mind of a very different person, who had no other connection whatever with the affair than what her heart gave him with every thing that passed, Elinor forgot the immediate distress of her sister, forgot that she had three letters on her lap yet unread, and so entirely forgot how long she had been in the room, that when on hearing a carriage drive up to the door, she went to the window to see who could be coming so unreasonably early, she was all astonishment to perceive Mrs. Jennings's chariot, which she knew had not been ordered till one. Determined not to quit Marianne, though hopeless of contributing, at present, to her ease, she hurried away to excuse herself from attending Mrs. Jennings, on account of her sister being indisposed. Mrs. Jennings, with a thoroughly good-humoured concern for its cause, admitted the excuse most readily, and Elinor, after seeing her safe off, returned to Marianne, whom she found attempting to rise from the bed, and whom she reached just in time to prevent her from falling on the floor, faint and giddy from a long want of proper rest and food; for it was many days since she had any appetite, and many nights since she had really slept; and now, when her mind was no longer supported by the fever of suspense, the consequence of all this was felt in an aching head, a weakened stomach, and a general nervous faintness. A glass of wine, which Elinor procured for her directly, made her more comfortable, and she was at last able to express some sense of her kindness, by saying, "Poor Elinor! how unhappy I make you!"
In her deep thoughts about the letter's contents, the twisted mind that could write it, and probably the very different mind of someone else who was only connected to the situation through her emotions, Elinor completely lost track of her sister's immediate distress. She forgot that she had three unread letters on her lap and lost all sense of how long she had been in the room. So, when she heard a carriage pull up to the door and went to the window to see who could be arriving so unreasonably early, she was shocked to see Mrs. Jennings's chariot, which she knew hadn't been scheduled until one o'clock. Determined to stay with Marianne, even though she felt she couldn't help her sister feel better right now, she hurried off to let Mrs. Jennings know she couldn't attend because her sister was unwell. Mrs. Jennings, with a genuinely good-humored concern for the reason, accepted the excuse immediately. After ensuring Mrs. Jennings was on her way, Elinor returned to find Marianne trying to get up from the bed, and she arrived just in time to prevent her from falling to the floor, faint and dizzy from a lack of proper rest and food. It had been several days since she had any appetite and many nights since she had really slept. Now, without the fever of suspense keeping her mind going, she felt the consequences in the form of a pounding headache, an upset stomach, and a general feeling of weakness. A glass of wine that Elinor quickly got for her made her feel a bit better, and she was finally able to show some appreciation for Elinor's kindness by saying, "Poor Elinor! How unhappy I make you!"
"I only wish," replied her sister, "there were any thing I could do, which might be of comfort to you."
"I just wish," her sister replied, "that there was something I could do to comfort you."
This, as every thing else would have been, was too much for Marianne, who could only exclaim, in the anguish of her[160] heart, "Oh! Elinor, I am miserable, indeed," before her voice was entirely lost in sobs.
This, like everything else, was overwhelming for Marianne, who could only cry out in the pain of her[160] heart, "Oh! Elinor, I’m so miserable," before her voice was completely drowned out by sobs.
Elinor could no longer witness this torrent of unresisted grief in silence.
Elinor could no longer watch this overwhelming wave of unrestrained sadness in silence.
"Exert yourself, dear Marianne," she cried, "if you would not kill yourself and all who love you. Think of your mother; think of her misery while you suffer: for her sake you must exert yourself."
"Try harder, dear Marianne," she exclaimed, "if you don't want to hurt yourself and everyone who cares about you. Think of your mother; think of her sadness while you are struggling: for her sake, you need to try your best."
"I cannot, I cannot," cried Marianne; "leave me, leave me, if I distress you; leave me, hate me, forget me! but do not torture me so. Oh! how easy for those, who have no sorrow of their own to talk of exertion! Happy, happy Elinor, you cannot have an idea of what I suffer."
"I can’t, I can’t," cried Marianne; "just leave me, if I upset you; hate me, forget me! But please don’t torture me like this. Oh! It’s so easy for those who don’t have their own pain to talk about effort! Happy, happy Elinor, you have no idea what I’m going through."
"Do you call me happy, Marianne? Ah! if you knew!—And can you believe me to be so, while I see you so wretched!"
"Do you call me happy, Marianne? Ah! If only you knew!—And can you really think I’m happy when I see you so miserable?"
"Forgive me, forgive me," throwing her arms round her sister's neck; "I know you feel for me; I know what a heart you have; but yet you are—you must be happy; Edward loves you—what, oh what, can do away such happiness as that?"
"Forgive me, forgive me," she said, wrapping her arms around her sister's neck. "I know you care about me; I know what a big heart you have; but still, you are—you must be happy; Edward loves you—what, oh what, could ever take away happiness like that?"
"Many, many circumstances," said Elinor, solemnly.
"Many, many circumstances," Elinor said seriously.
"No, no, no," cried Marianne wildly, "he loves you, and only you. You can have no grief."
"No, no, no," Marianne shouted frantically, "he loves you, and only you. You can have no sadness."
"I can have no pleasure while I see you in this state."
"I can’t feel any joy while I see you like this."
"And you will never see me otherwise. Mine is a misery which nothing can do away."
"And you'll never see me any other way. I have a pain that nothing can take away."
"You must not talk so, Marianne. Have you no comforts? no friends? Is your loss such as leaves no opening for consolation? Much as you suffer now, think of what you would have suffered if the discovery of his character had been delayed to a later period;—if your engagement had been carried on for months and months, as it might have been, before he chose to put an end to it. Every additional day of unhappy confidence, on your side, would have made the blow more dreadful."
"You shouldn’t speak like that, Marianne. Don’t you have any comforts? Any friends? Is your loss so great that there’s no room for consolation? As much as you’re hurting now, think about how much worse it would have been if you had found out about his true character later; if your engagement had gone on for months and months, as it could have, before he decided to end it. Every extra day of misplaced trust on your part would have made the heartbreak even worse."
"Engagement!" cried Marianne, "there has been no engagement."
"Engagement!" Marianne exclaimed, "there hasn’t been any engagement."
"No engagement!"
"No deal!"
"No, he is not so unworthy as you believe him. He has broken no faith with me."[161]
"No, he isn’t as unworthy as you think he is. He hasn’t broken any trust with me."[161]
"But he told you that he loved you."
"But he told you that he loves you."
"Yes—no—never absolutely. It was every day implied, but never professedly declared. Sometimes I thought it had been—but it never was."
"Yes—no—never completely. It was implied every day, but never openly stated. Sometimes I thought it had been—but it never was."
"Yet you wrote to him?"—
"But you messaged him?"
"Yes—could that be wrong after all that had passed? But I cannot talk."
"Yes—could that really be wrong after everything that's happened? But I can't talk."
Elinor said no more, and turning again to the three letters which now raised a much stronger curiosity than before, directly ran over the contents of all. The first, which was what her sister had sent him on their arrival in town, was to this effect:—
Elinor didn’t say anything more and, turning back to the three letters that now sparked much stronger curiosity than before, quickly read through their contents. The first one, which her sister had sent him upon their arrival in town, was about this:—
"Berkeley Street, January.
Berkeley Street, January.
"How surprised you will be, Willoughby, on receiving this; and I think you will feel something more than surprise, when you know that I am in town. An opportunity of coming hither, though with Mrs. Jennings, was a temptation we could not resist. I wish you may receive this in time to come here tonight, but I will not depend on it. At any rate I shall expect you to-morrow. For the present, adieu.
"How surprised you’ll be, Willoughby, when you get this; and I think you’ll feel more than just surprise when you find out that I’m in town. The chance to come here, even with Mrs. Jennings, was too tempting to ignore. I hope you get this in time to join us tonight, but I won’t count on it. Either way, I expect to see you tomorrow. For now, goodbye."
M.D."
M.D.
Her second note, which had been written on the morning after the dance at the Middletons', was in these words:—
Her second note, which she wrote the morning after the dance at the Middletons', said this:—
"I cannot express my disappointment in having missed you the day before yesterday, nor my astonishment at not having received any answer to a note which I sent you above a week ago. I have been expecting to hear from you, and still more to see you, every hour of the day. Pray call again as soon as possible, and explain the reason of my having expected this in vain. You had better come earlier another time, because we are generally out by one. We were last night at Lady Middleton's, where there was a dance. I have been told that you were asked to be of the party. But could it be so? You must be very much altered indeed since we parted, if that could be the case, and you not there. But I will not suppose this possible, and I hope very soon to receive your personal assurance of its being otherwise.
"I can't express how disappointed I am that I missed you the day before yesterday, nor my surprise at not having received a reply to a note I sent over a week ago. I've been hoping to hear from you, and even more to see you, every hour of the day. Please come by again as soon as you can and explain why I was left waiting. It would be better if you came earlier next time, since we usually leave by one. Last night, we were at Lady Middleton's for a dance. I heard you were invited to join the party. But is that true? You must have changed a lot since we last saw each other if that’s the case, and you weren’t there. But I won’t assume that’s possible, and I look forward to getting your personal assurance that it isn’t."
M.D."
M.D.
The contents of her last note to him were these:[162]—
The content of her last note to him was this:[162]—
"What am I to imagine, Willoughby, by your behaviour last night? Again I demand an explanation of it. I was prepared to meet you with the pleasure which our separation naturally produced, with the familiarity which our intimacy at Barton appeared to me to justify. I was repulsed indeed! I have passed a wretched night in endeavouring to excuse a conduct which can scarcely be called less than insulting; but though I have not yet been able to form any reasonable apology for your behaviour, I am perfectly ready to hear your justification of it. You have perhaps been misinformed, or purposely deceived, in something concerning me, which may have lowered me in your opinion. Tell me what it is, explain the grounds on which you acted, and I shall be satisfied, in being able to satisfy you. It would grieve me indeed to be obliged to think ill of you; but if I am to do it, if I am to learn that you are not what we have hitherto believed you, that your regard for us all was insincere, that your behaviour to me was intended only to deceive, let it be told as soon as possible. My feelings are at present in a state of dreadful indecision; I wish to acquit you, but certainty on either side will be ease to what I now suffer. If your sentiments are no longer what they were, you will return my notes, and the lock of my hair which is in your possession.
"What am I supposed to think, Willoughby, about your behavior last night? I demand an explanation for it. I was ready to greet you with the happiness that our time apart naturally brought, along with the familiarity that our closeness at Barton seemed to justify. Instead, I felt rejected! I spent a miserable night trying to rationalize actions that can hardly be called anything but insulting; however, I still haven’t been able to come up with a reasonable excuse for your behavior, but I’m more than willing to hear your side of it. Maybe you’ve been misled or purposely deceived about something regarding me that might have changed your opinion of me. Tell me what it is, explain your reasoning, and I will be satisfied knowing I can satisfy you. It would truly upset me to think poorly of you; but if that’s the case, if I’m to find out that you’re not who we’ve believed you to be, that your affection for us was fake, that your actions toward me were meant to mislead, please let me know as soon as possible. My feelings are currently in a terrible state of uncertainty; I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but knowing the truth on either side would ease what I’m suffering right now. If your feelings have changed, then please return my letters and the lock of hair you have."
M.D."
M.D.
That such letters, so full of affection and confidence, could have been so answered, Elinor, for Willoughby's sake, would have been unwilling to believe. But her condemnation of him did not blind her to the impropriety of their having been written at all; and she was silently grieving over the imprudence which had hazarded such unsolicited proofs of tenderness, not warranted by anything preceding, and most severely condemned by the event, when Marianne, perceiving that she had finished the letters, observed to her that they contained nothing but what any one would have written in the same situation.
That such letters, filled with affection and trust, could have been answered in that way, Elinor, for Willoughby's sake, would have found hard to believe. But her disapproval of him didn’t prevent her from recognizing that it was inappropriate for them to have been written at all; she was silently upset about the recklessness that had led to such unsolicited displays of affection, which were not supported by anything that had happened before and were harshly judged by the outcome. Just then, Marianne, noticing that Elinor had finished the letters, commented that they contained nothing more than what anyone would have written in the same situation.
"I felt myself," she added, "to be as solemnly engaged to him, as if the strictest legal covenant had bound us to each other."
"I felt that I was just as seriously committed to him as if we had been bound by the tightest legal contract."
"I can believe it," said Elinor; "but unfortunately he did not feel the same."
"I can believe it," Elinor said, "but unfortunately, he didn't feel the same way."
"He did feel the same, Elinor—for weeks and weeks he[163] felt it. I know he did. Whatever may have changed him now, (and nothing but the blackest art employed against me can have done it), I was once as dear to him as my own soul could wish. This lock of hair, which now he can so readily give up, was begged of me with the most earnest supplication. Had you seen his look, his manner, had you heard his voice at that moment! Have you forgot the last evening of our being together at Barton? The morning that we parted too! When he told me that it might be many weeks before we met again—his distress—can I ever forget his distress?"
"He did feel the same, Elinor—for weeks and weeks he[163] felt it. I know he did. Whatever has changed him now, (and nothing but the darkest trickery used against me could have done it), I was once as dear to him as I could ever wish. This lock of hair, which he can now so easily part with, was begged from me with the most heartfelt pleading. If you had seen his expression, his demeanor, if you had heard his voice at that moment! Have you forgotten our last evening together at Barton? The morning we said goodbye too! When he told me that it might be many weeks before we saw each other again—his distress—can I ever forget his distress?"
For a moment or two she could say no more; but when this emotion had passed away, she added, in a firmer tone—
For a moment or two, she couldn't say anything more; but when this feeling passed, she added, in a more confident tone—
"Elinor, I have been cruelly used; but not by Willoughby."
"Elinor, I've been treated terribly; but not by Willoughby."
"Dearest Marianne, who but himself? By whom can he have been instigated?"
"Dear Marianne, who else could it be? Who could have pushed him to do this?"
"By all the world, rather than by his own heart. I could rather believe every creature of my acquaintance leagued together to ruin me in his opinion, than believe his nature capable of such cruelty. This woman of whom he writes—whoever she be—or any one, in short, but your own dear self, mama, and Edward, may have been so barbarous to bely me. Beyond you three, is there a creature in the world whom I would not rather suspect of evil than Willoughby, whose heart I know so well?"
"By everyone but his own heart. I would sooner believe that everyone I know has teamed up to ruin my reputation with him than think he could be capable of such cruelty. This woman he writes about—whoever she is—or really anyone except for you, my dear mom, and Edward, might have been cruel enough to slander me. Other than you three, is there anyone in the world I would suspect of wrongdoing more than Willoughby, whose heart I understand so well?"
Elinor would not contend, and only replied, "Whoever may have been so detestably your enemy, let them be cheated of their malignant triumph, my dear sister, by seeing how nobly the consciousness of your own innocence and good intentions supports your spirits. It is a reasonable and laudable pride which resists such malevolence."
Elinor wouldn’t argue and simply said, "Whoever has been such a terrible enemy to you, let them be denied their hateful victory, my dear sister, by witnessing how your awareness of your own innocence and good intentions lifts your spirits. It’s a reasonable and admirable pride that stands up to such malice."
"No, no," cried Marianne, "misery such as mine has no pride. I care not who knows that I am wretched. The triumph of seeing me so may be open to all the world. Elinor, Elinor, they who suffer little may be proud and independent as they like—may resist insult, or return mortification—but I cannot. I must feel—I must be wretched—and they are welcome to enjoy the consciousness of it that can."
"No, no," cried Marianne, "misery like mine has no pride. I don't care who knows I'm miserable. Everyone can see me like this. Elinor, Elinor, those who suffer little can be proud and independent all they want—they can stand up to insults or brush off humiliation—but I can’t. I have to feel—I have to be miserable—and they're free to enjoy knowing that they can."
"But for my mother's sake and mine—"
"But for my mom's sake and mine—"
"I would do more than for my own. But to appear happy when I am so miserable—Oh! who can require it?"
"I would do more for others than I would for myself. But to act happy when I'm actually so miserable—Oh! who can expect that?"
Again they were both silent. Elinor was employed in[164] walking thoughtfully from the fire to the window, from the window to the fire, without knowing that she received warmth from one, or discerning objects through the other; and Marianne, seated at the foot of the bed, with her head leaning against one of its posts, again took up Willoughby's letter, and, after shuddering over every sentence, exclaimed—
Again they both fell silent. Elinor was busy pacing from the fire to the window and back again, lost in thought, unaware that she was drawing warmth from one or seeing clearly through the other. Meanwhile, Marianne, sitting at the foot of the bed with her head against one of its posts, picked up Willoughby's letter once more and, after shuddering at each line, exclaimed—
"It is too much! Oh, Willoughby, Willoughby, could this be yours! Cruel, cruel—nothing can acquit you. Elinor, nothing can. Whatever he might have heard against me, ought he not to have suspended his belief? ought he not to have told me of it, to have given me the power of clearing myself? 'The lock of hair, (repeating it from the letter,) which you so obligingly bestowed on me'—That is unpardonable. Willoughby, where was your heart when you wrote those words? Oh, barbarously insolent!—Elinor, can he be justified?"
"It’s too much! Oh, Willoughby, could this really be yours! Cruel, so cruel—nothing can redeem you. Elinor, nothing can. Whatever he might have heard about me, shouldn’t he have held off on believing it? Shouldn’t he have told me so I could clear my name? 'The lock of hair, (repeating it from the letter,) which you so helpfully gave me'—That’s unforgivable. Willoughby, where was your heart when you wrote those words? Oh, how completely rude!—Elinor, can he really justify this?"
"No, Marianne, in no possible way."
"No, Marianne, not really."
"And yet this woman—who knows what her art may have been?—how long it may have been premeditated, and how deeply contrived by her!—Who is she?—Who can she be?—Whom did I ever hear him talk of as young and attractive among his female acquaintance?—Oh! no one, no one—he talked to me only of myself."
"And yet this woman—who knows what her art might have been?—how long it might have been planned, and how carefully designed by her!—Who is she?—Who could she be?—Who did I ever hear him mention as young and attractive among his female friends?—Oh! no one, no one—he only talked to me about myself."
Another pause ensued; Marianne was greatly agitated, and it ended thus:—
Another pause followed; Marianne was very upset, and it ended like this:—
"Elinor, I must go home. I must go and comfort mama. Can not we be gone to-morrow?"
"Elinor, I need to go home. I have to comfort Mom. Can't we leave tomorrow?"
"To-morrow, Marianne!"
"Tomorrow, Marianne!"
"Yes, why should I stay here? I came only for Willoughby's sake—and now who cares for me? Who regards me?"
"Yes, why should I stick around here? I came only for Willoughby—and now who even cares about me? Who pays attention to me?"
"It would be impossible to go to-morrow. We owe Mrs. Jennings much more than civility; and civility of the commonest kind must prevent such a hasty removal as that."
"It would be impossible to go tomorrow. We owe Mrs. Jennings a lot more than just basic politeness; and even basic politeness should stop us from leaving so abruptly."
"Well then, another day or two, perhaps; but I cannot stay here long, I cannot stay to endure the questions and remarks of all these people. The Middletons and Palmers—how am I to bear their pity? The pity of such a woman as Lady Middleton! Oh, what would he say to that!"
"Well then, maybe another day or two; but I can't stay here much longer. I can't handle the questions and comments from all these people. The Middletons and Palmers—how am I supposed to deal with their sympathy? The sympathy from a woman like Lady Middleton! Oh, what would he say about that!"
Elinor advised her to lie down again, and for a moment she did so; but no attitude could give her ease; and in restless pain of mind and body she moved from one posture[165] to another, till growing more and more hysterical, her sister could with difficulty keep her on the bed at all, and for some time was fearful of being constrained to call for assistance. Some lavender drops, however, which she was at length persuaded to take, were of use; and from that time till Mrs. Jennings returned, she continued on the bed quiet and motionless.
Elinor advised her to lie down again, and for a moment, she did; but no position could make her comfortable. In restless pain of mind and body, she shifted from one posture[165] to another until, becoming increasingly hysterical, her sister struggled to keep her on the bed at all and was afraid she would have to call for help. However, some lavender drops that she was finally convinced to take were helpful; from that point until Mrs. Jennings returned, she lay on the bed, calm and still.
CHAPTER XXX
Mrs. Jennings came immediately to their room on her return, and without waiting to have her request of admittance answered, opened the door and walked in with a look of real concern.
Mrs. Jennings came right to their room when she got back, and without waiting for an answer to her knock, opened the door and walked in with a genuinely worried expression.
"How do you do my dear?"—said she in a voice of great compassion to Marianne, who turned away her face without attempting to answer.
"How are you, my dear?" she said with a voice full of compassion to Marianne, who turned her face away without trying to respond.
"How is she, Miss Dashwood?—Poor thing! she looks very bad. No wonder. Ay, it is but too true. He is to be married very soon—a good-for-nothing fellow! I have no patience with him. Mrs. Taylor told me of it half an hour ago, and she was told it by a particular friend of Miss Grey herself, else I am sure I should not have believed it; and I was almost ready to sink as it was. Well, said I, all I can say is, that if this be true, he has used a young lady of my acquaintance abominably ill, and I wish with all my soul his wife may plague his heart out. And so I shall always say, my dear, you may depend on it. I have no notion of men's going on in this way; and if ever I meet him again, I will give him such a dressing as he has not had this many a day. But there is one comfort, my dear Miss Marianne; he is not the only young man in the world worth having; and with your pretty face you will never want admirers. Well, poor thing! I won't disturb her any longer, for she had better have her cry out at once and have done with. The Parrys and Sandersons luckily are coming tonight you know, and that will amuse her."
"How is she, Miss Dashwood?—Poor thing! She looks really bad. It’s no surprise. Yes, it’s all too true. He’s getting married very soon—a useless guy! I can’t stand him. Mrs. Taylor told me about it half an hour ago, and she heard it from a close friend of Miss Grey herself; otherwise, I wouldn’t have believed it. I was practically ready to collapse as it was. Well, I said, all I can say is, if this is true, he has treated a young lady I know absolutely terribly, and I sincerely hope his wife gives him a hard time. And I will always say that, my dear, you can count on it. I have no patience for men behaving this way; and if I ever see him again, I’ll give him a piece of my mind like he hasn’t had in a long time. But there’s one comfort, my dear Miss Marianne; he’s not the only young man worth having in the world; and with your pretty face, you’ll never be short of admirers. Well, poor thing! I won't disturb her any longer, as she might as well cry it out now and be done with it. Luckily, the Parrys and Sandersons are coming tonight, you know, and that will cheer her up."
She then went away, walking on tiptoe out of the room, as if she supposed her young friend's affliction could be increased by noise.
She then left, walking on her toes out of the room, as if she thought her young friend’s pain could get worse with any noise.
Marianne, to the surprise of her sister, determined on dining with them. Elinor even advised her against it. But "no, she would go down; she could bear it very well, and the bustle about her would be less." Elinor, pleased to have her governed for a moment by such a motive, though believing it hardly possible that she could sit out the dinner, said no more; and adjusting her dress for her as well as she could, while Marianne still remained on the bed, was ready to assist her into the dining room as soon as they were summoned to it.
Marianne, to her sister's surprise, decided to join them for dinner. Elinor even tried to talk her out of it. But "no, she would go; she could handle it just fine, and the activity around her would be less." Elinor, happy that Marianne was making a decision for a moment based on such a reason, although thinking it was unlikely she could last through the dinner, said nothing more. As she adjusted Marianne's dress as best as she could while Marianne still sat on the bed, she got ready to help her into the dining room as soon as they were called.
When there, though looking most wretchedly, she ate more and was calmer than her sister had expected. Had she tried to speak, or had she been conscious of half Mrs. Jennings's well-meant but ill-judged attentions to her, this calmness could not have been maintained; but not a syllable escaped her lips; and the abstraction of her thoughts preserved her in ignorance of every thing that was passing before her.
When she got there, despite looking really miserable, she ate more and was calmer than her sister had thought she would be. If she had tried to speak, or if she had been aware of Mrs. Jennings's well-meaning but poorly timed attempts to help her, she wouldn't have been able to stay so calm; but she didn’t say a word, and her distracted thoughts kept her unaware of everything that was happening around her.
Elinor, who did justice to Mrs. Jennings's kindness, though its effusions were often distressing, and sometimes almost ridiculous, made her those acknowledgments, and returned her those civilities, which her sister could not make or return for herself. Their good friend saw that Marianne was unhappy, and felt that every thing was due to her which might make her at all less so. She treated her therefore, with all the indulgent fondness of a parent towards a favourite child on the last day of its holidays. Marianne was to have the best place by the fire, was to be tempted to eat by every delicacy in the house, and to be amused by the relation of all the news of the day. Had not Elinor, in the sad countenance of her sister, seen a check to all mirth, she could have been entertained by Mrs. Jennings's endeavours to cure a disappointment in love, by a variety of sweetmeats and olives, and a good fire. As soon, however, as the consciousness of all this was forced by continual repetition on Marianne, she could stay no longer. With a hasty exclamation of Misery, and a sign to her sister not to follow her, she directly got up and hurried out of the room.
Elinor, who appreciated Mrs. Jennings's kindness, even though her efforts were often distressing and sometimes nearly ridiculous, acknowledged her and returned her courtesies for her sister, who could not do so herself. Their good friend noticed that Marianne was unhappy and felt it was her duty to do everything possible to ease that unhappiness. She treated Marianne with all the gentle affection of a parent towards a favorite child on the last day of its holiday. Marianne was given the best spot by the fire, was tempted with every treat available, and was entertained with all the news of the day. If Elinor hadn’t seen the sadness on her sister's face, which dampened all cheer, she could have found amusement in Mrs. Jennings's attempts to remedy a broken heart with various sweets, olives, and a cozy fire. However, as soon as Marianne became painfully aware of all this through constant reminders, she couldn’t stay any longer. With a quick cry of "Misery!" and a gesture to her sister not to follow, she jumped up and hurried out of the room.
"Poor soul!" cried Mrs. Jennings, as soon as she was gone, "how it grieves me to see her! And I declare if she is not gone away without finishing her wine! And the dried cherries too! Lord! nothing seems to do her any good. I am sure if I knew of any thing she would like, I would send all over the town for it. Well, it is the oddest thing to me, that a man[167] should use such a pretty girl so ill! But when there is plenty of money on one side, and next to none on the other, Lord bless you! they care no more about such things!"
"Poor thing!" exclaimed Mrs. Jennings as soon as she left, "it really upsets me to see her like this! And I can't believe she left without finishing her wine! And the dried cherries too! Wow! Nothing seems to help her. I'm sure if I knew of anything she would enjoy, I'd send someone all over town to find it. Well, it's the strangest thing to me that a man[167] would treat such a beautiful girl so badly! But when there's a lot of money on one side and almost none on the other, good heavens! they don't care about such things at all!"
"The lady then—Miss Grey I think you called her,—is very rich?"
"The lady then—Miss Grey, I believe you called her—is quite wealthy?"
"Fifty thousand pounds, my dear. Did you ever see her? a smart, stylish girl they say, but not handsome. I remember her aunt very well, Biddy Henshawe; she married a very wealthy man. But the family are all rich together. Fifty thousand pounds! and by all accounts, it won't come before it's wanted; for they say he is all to pieces. No wonder! dashing about with his curricle and hunters! Well, it don't signify talking; but when a young man, be who he will, comes and makes love to a pretty girl, and promises marriage, he has no business to fly off from his word only because he grows poor, and a richer girl is ready to have him. Why don't he, in such a case, sell his horses, let his house, turn off his servants, and make a thorough reform at once? I warrant you, Miss Marianne would have been ready to wait till matters came round. But that won't do now-a-days; nothing in the way of pleasure can ever be given up by the young men of this age."
"Fifty thousand pounds, my dear. Have you ever seen her? A smart, stylish girl they say, but not beautiful. I remember her aunt very well, Biddy Henshawe; she married a very wealthy man. But the whole family is rich. Fifty thousand pounds! And they say it won’t arrive until it’s really needed; apparently, he's in a bad way. No surprise there! Racing around with his carriage and horses! Well, there's no point in talking about it, but when a young man, whoever he is, comes and flirts with a pretty girl and promises to marry her, he shouldn’t just back out of his word because he’s run out of money and a richer girl is interested. Why doesn't he, in such a situation, sell his horses, rent out his house, let go of his servants, and make a complete change right away? I bet Miss Marianne would have been willing to wait until things got better. But that doesn’t happen these days; young men today won’t give up anything related to pleasure."
"Do you know what kind of a girl Miss Grey is? Is she said to be amiable?"
"Do you know what kind of girl Miss Grey is? Is she considered friendly?"
"I never heard any harm of her; indeed I hardly ever heard her mentioned; except that Mrs. Taylor did say this morning, that one day Miss Walker hinted to her, that she believed Mr. and Mrs. Ellison would not be sorry to have Miss Grey married, for she and Mrs. Ellison could never agree."—
"I never heard anything bad about her; in fact, I hardly ever heard her name come up, except that Mrs. Taylor said this morning that one day Miss Walker suggested to her that she thought Mr. and Mrs. Ellison wouldn't mind if Miss Grey got married, because she and Mrs. Ellison could never see eye to eye."
"And who are the Ellisons?"
"And who are the Ellisons?"
"Her guardians, my dear. But now she is of age and may choose for herself; and a pretty choice she has made!—What now," after pausing a moment—"your poor sister is gone to her own room, I suppose, to moan by herself. Is there nothing one can get to comfort her? Poor dear, it seems quite cruel to let her be alone. Well, by-and-by we shall have a few friends, and that will amuse her a little. What shall we play at? She hates whist I know; but is there no round game she cares for?"
"Her guardians, my dear. But now she’s of age and can choose for herself; and what a choice she’s made!—What now," after pausing for a moment—"your poor sister has gone to her room, I guess, to be alone and mope. Is there anything we can get to comfort her? Poor thing, it feels quite cruel to leave her by herself. Well, soon we’ll have a few friends over, and that should cheer her up a bit. What should we play? I know she hates whist; but is there any game she actually enjoys?"
"Dear ma'am, this kindness is quite unnecessary. Marianne, I dare say, will not leave her room again this evening. I[168] shall persuade her if I can to go early to bed, for I am sure she wants rest."
"Dear ma'am, this kindness is really not needed. Marianne, I can assure you, will not be leaving her room tonight. I[168] will try to convince her to go to bed early because I know she needs the rest."
"Aye, I believe that will be best for her. Let her name her own supper, and go to bed. Lord! no wonder she has been looking so bad and so cast down this last week or two, for this matter I suppose has been hanging over her head as long as that. And so the letter that came today finished it! Poor soul! I am sure if I had had a notion of it, I would not have joked her about it for all my money. But then you know, how should I guess such a thing? I made sure of its being nothing but a common love letter, and you know young people like to be laughed at about them. Lord! how concerned Sir John and my daughters will be when they hear it! If I had my senses about me I might have called in Conduit Street in my way home, and told them of it. But I shall see them tomorrow."
"Yeah, I think that’s best for her. Let her choose her own dinner and head to bed. Wow! No wonder she’s been looking so bad and down lately; it’s probably been weighing on her mind for weeks. And the letter that arrived today put an end to it! Poor thing! I'm sure if I had known, I wouldn’t have joked about it for anything. But how could I have guessed such a thing? I thought it was just a typical love letter, and you know how young people like to be teased about those. Wow! Sir John and my daughters are going to be so worried when they find out! If I had been thinking clearly, I might have stopped by Conduit Street on my way home and told them. But I'll see them tomorrow."
"It would be unnecessary I am sure, for you to caution Mrs. Palmer and Sir John against ever naming Mr. Willoughby, or making the slightest allusion to what has passed, before my sister. Their own good-nature must point out to them the real cruelty of appearing to know any thing about it when she is present; and the less that may ever be said to myself on the subject, the more my feelings will be spared, as you my dear madam will easily believe."
"It would be pointless, I'm sure, for you to warn Mrs. Palmer and Sir John not to mention Mr. Willoughby or bring up anything that happened in front of my sister. Their kind nature should make it clear to them how hurtful it would be to act like they know anything about it when she’s around. The less said to me about it, the more I can protect my feelings, as you can easily understand, my dear madam."
"Oh! Lord! yes, that I do indeed. It must be terrible for you to hear it talked of; and as for your sister, I am sure I would not mention a word about it to her for the world. You saw I did not all dinner time. No more would Sir John, nor my daughters, for they are all very thoughtful and considerate; especially if I give them a hint, as I certainly will. For my part, I think the less that is said about such things, the better, the sooner 'tis blown over and forgot. And what does talking ever do you know?"
"Oh! Lord! yes, I really do. It must be awful for you to hear people talk about it; and as for your sister, I definitely wouldn’t say a word to her about it for anything. You saw I didn’t during dinner. Neither would Sir John, nor my daughters, because they're all very thoughtful and considerate; especially if I give them a hint, which I definitely will. For my part, I think the less said about such things, the better. The sooner it’s over and forgotten. And what does talking ever accomplish, you know?"
"In this affair it can only do harm; more so perhaps than in many cases of a similar kind, for it has been attended by circumstances which, for the sake of every one concerned in it, make it unfit to become the public conversation. I must do this justice to Mr. Willoughby—he has broken no positive engagement with my sister."
"In this situation, it can only cause harm; maybe even more than in many similar cases, because it has been surrounded by circumstances that make it inappropriate for public discussion for everyone's sake. I have to give this credit to Mr. Willoughby—he hasn’t broken any solid commitment to my sister."
"Law, my dear! Don't pretend to defend him. No positive engagement indeed! after taking her all over Allenham[169] House, and fixing on the very rooms they were to live in hereafter!"
"Seriously? Don't act like you're backing him up. There's really no defending him after moving her into Allenham[169] House and choosing the exact rooms they'll be living in from now on!"
Elinor, for her sister's sake, could not press the subject farther, and she hoped it was not required of her for Willoughby's; since, though Marianne might lose much, he could gain very little by the enforcement of the real truth. After a short silence on both sides, Mrs. Jennings, with all her natural hilarity, burst forth again.
Elinor, for her sister's sake, couldn’t push the topic any further, and she hoped it wasn’t expected of her for Willoughby’s sake; since, although Marianne might lose a lot, he wouldn’t gain much by revealing the real truth. After a brief silence on both sides, Mrs. Jennings, with all her natural cheerfulness, spoke up again.
"Well, my dear, 'tis a true saying about an ill-wind, for it will be all the better for Colonel Brandon. He will have her at last; aye, that he will. Mind me, now, if they an't married by Mid-summer. Lord! how he'll chuckle over this news! I hope he will come tonight. It will be all to one a better match for your sister. Two thousand a year without debt or drawback—except the little love-child, indeed; aye, I had forgot her; but she may be 'prenticed out at a small cost, and then what does it signify? Delaford is a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! Lord! how Charlotte and I did stuff the only time we were there! Then, there is a dovecote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and every thing, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so 'tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along. Oh! 'tis a nice place! A butcher hard by in the village, and the parsonage-house within a stone's throw. To my fancy, a thousand times prettier than Barton Park, where they are forced to send three miles for their meat, and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother. Well, I shall spirit up the Colonel as soon as I can. One shoulder of mutton, you know, drives another down. If we can but put Willoughby out of her head!"
"Well, my dear, it’s a true saying about a bad situation, because it will end up being all the better for Colonel Brandon. He will finally get her; yes, he will. Mark my words, if they're not married by Mid-summer. Wow! how he'll laugh when he hears this news! I hope he comes tonight. It will definitely be a better match for your sister. Two thousand a year with no debts or issues—except for that little love child, I suppose; yes, I almost forgot her; but she can be taken care of at a small cost, so what does it matter? Delaford is a lovely place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old-fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; completely enclosed by high garden walls covered with the best fruit trees in the area; and there’s a mulberry tree in one corner! Wow! how Charlotte and I stuffed our faces the only time we were there! Then, there’s a dovecote, some delightful fish ponds, and a very pretty canal; and everything, in short, that one could want; plus, it’s close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the main road, so it’s never boring, because if you just sit in an old yew arbor behind the house, you can see all the carriages that go by. Oh! it’s a nice place! There’s a butcher right in the village, and the parsonage is just a stone’s throw away. To my taste, it’s a thousand times prettier than Barton Park, where they have to send three miles for their meat and don’t have a neighbor closer than your mother. Well, I’ll try to encourage the Colonel as soon as I can. One shoulder of mutton, you know, leads to another. If we can just get Willoughby out of her head!"
"Ay, if we can do that, Ma'am," said Elinor, "we shall do very well with or without Colonel Brandon." And then rising, she went away to join Marianne, whom she found, as she expected, in her own room, leaning, in silent misery, over the small remains of a fire, which, till Elinor's entrance, had been her only light.[170]
"Yes, if we can do that, Ma'am," Elinor said, "we'll be just fine whether Colonel Brandon is here or not." Then she stood up and went to join Marianne, who she found, as expected, in her room, silently struggling over the few embers of a fire that had, until Elinor arrived, been her only source of light.[170]
"You had better leave me," was all the notice that her sister received from her.
"You should probably leave me," was all the notice that her sister got from her.
"I will leave you," said Elinor, "if you will go to bed." But this, from the momentary perverseness of impatient suffering, she at first refused to do. Her sister's earnest, though gentle persuasion, however, soon softened her to compliance, and Elinor saw her lay her aching head on the pillow, and as she hoped, in a way to get some quiet rest before she left her.
"I'll leave you," Elinor said, "if you go to bed." But at first, she stubbornly refused, caught in a moment of painful frustration. However, her sister's sincere but gentle encouragement quickly persuaded her to agree, and Elinor watched her settle her aching head on the pillow, hopeful that she would get some peaceful rest before she left.
In the drawing-room, whither she then repaired, she was soon joined by Mrs. Jennings, with a wine-glass, full of something, in her hand.
In the living room, where she went next, she was soon joined by Mrs. Jennings, holding a wine glass filled with something.
"My dear," said she, entering, "I have just recollected that I have some of the finest old Constantia wine in the house that ever was tasted, so I have brought a glass of it for your sister. My poor husband! how fond he was of it! Whenever he had a touch of his old colicky gout, he said it did him more good than any thing else in the world. Do take it to your sister."
"My dear," she said as she walked in, "I just remembered that I have some of the best old Constantia wine in the house that anyone has ever tasted, so I've brought a glass for your sister. My poor husband! He loved it so much! Whenever he had a flare-up of his old colicky gout, he claimed it helped him more than anything else in the world. Please take it to your sister."
"Dear Ma'am," replied Elinor, smiling at the difference of the complaints for which it was recommended, "how good you are! But I have just left Marianne in bed, and, I hope, almost asleep; and as I think nothing will be of so much service to her as rest, if you will give me leave, I will drink the wine myself."
"Dear Ma'am," Elinor replied, smiling at the different reasons for the recommendation, "you're so kind! But I just left Marianne in bed, and I hope she's almost asleep; and since I believe that nothing will help her more than rest, if you don’t mind, I’ll drink the wine myself."
Mrs. Jennings, though regretting that she had not been five minutes earlier, was satisfied with the compromise; and Elinor, as she swallowed the chief of it, reflected, that though its effects on a colicky gout were, at present, of little importance to her, its healing powers, on a disappointed heart might be as reasonably tried on herself as on her sister.
Mrs. Jennings, even though she wished she had arrived five minutes earlier, was happy with the compromise; and Elinor, as she took most of it in, thought that, while its effects on a painful gout were not really important to her right now, its healing powers on a disappointed heart could be just as reasonably tested on herself as on her sister.
Colonel Brandon came in while the party were at tea, and by his manner of looking round the room for Marianne, Elinor immediately fancied that he neither expected nor wished to see her there, and, in short, that he was already aware of what occasioned her absence. Mrs. Jennings was not struck by the same thought; for soon after his entrance, she walked across the room to the tea-table where Elinor presided, and whispered, "The Colonel looks as grave as ever you see. He knows nothing of it; do tell him, my dear."
Colonel Brandon walked in while everyone was having tea, and by the way he looked around the room for Marianne, Elinor immediately thought that he neither expected nor wanted to see her there, and, in fact, that he already knew why she was missing. Mrs. Jennings didn’t have the same thought; because soon after he came in, she crossed the room to the tea table where Elinor was serving and whispered, "The Colonel looks as serious as ever. He doesn’t know anything about it; you should tell him, my dear."
He shortly afterwards drew a chair close to her's, and, with [172]a look which perfectly assured her of his good information, inquired after her sister.
He soon pulled a chair close to hers and, with [172]a look that clearly showed he was well-informed, asked about her sister.
"Marianne is not well," said she. "She has been indisposed all day, and we have persuaded her to go to bed."
"Marianne isn't feeling well," she said. "She's been unwell all day, and we convinced her to go to bed."
"Perhaps, then," he hesitatingly replied, "what I heard this morning may be—there may be more truth in it than I could believe possible at first."
"Maybe," he said slowly, "what I heard this morning could be—there might be more truth in it than I initially thought."
"What did you hear?"
"What did you hear?"
"That a gentleman, whom I had reason to think—in short, that a man, whom I knew to be engaged—but how shall I tell you? If you know it already, as surely you must, I may be spared."
"That a gentleman, whom I had reason to think—in short, that a man, whom I knew to be involved—but how should I say this? If you already know, as you surely must, then I can skip this."
"You mean," answered Elinor, with forced calmness, "Mr. Willoughby's marriage with Miss Grey. Yes, we do know it all. This seems to have been a day of general elucidation, for this very morning first unfolded it to us. Mr. Willoughby is unfathomable! Where did you hear it?"
"You mean," Elinor replied, trying to stay calm, "Mr. Willoughby's marriage to Miss Grey. Yes, we do know everything. It looks like today is a day for revelations, as we just found out this morning. Mr. Willoughby is so mysterious! Where did you hear that?"
"In a stationer's shop in Pall Mall, where I had business. Two ladies were waiting for their carriage, and one of them was giving the other an account of the intended match, in a voice so little attempting concealment, that it was impossible for me not to hear all. The name of Willoughby, John Willoughby, frequently repeated, first caught my attention; and what followed was a positive assertion that every thing was now finally settled respecting his marriage with Miss Grey—it was no longer to be a secret—it would take place even within a few weeks, with many particulars of preparations and other matters. One thing, especially, I remember, because it served to identify the man still more:—as soon as the ceremony was over, they were to go to Combe Magna, his seat in Somersetshire. My astonishment!—but it would be impossible to describe what I felt. The communicative lady I learnt, on inquiry, for I stayed in the shop till they were gone, was a Mrs. Ellison, and that, as I have been since informed, is the name of Miss Grey's guardian."
In a stationery shop on Pall Mall, where I had some business to attend to, two ladies were waiting for their carriage. One of them was telling the other about an upcoming engagement in a voice that was so openly casual that I couldn’t help but overhear everything. The name Willoughby, John Willoughby, kept coming up and immediately grabbed my attention. What followed was a clear statement that everything regarding his marriage to Miss Grey was now completely settled—it was no longer going to be a secret—and that it would happen in just a few weeks, along with a lot of details about the preparations and other related matters. One thing stood out to me, as it helped to identify him even more: as soon as the ceremony was over, they were supposed to go to Combe Magna, his estate in Somersetshire. I was so astonished!—but it’s impossible to describe how I really felt. I found out, after asking around since I stayed in the shop until they left, that the talkative lady was Mrs. Ellison, which I later learned is the name of Miss Grey's guardian.
"It is. But have you likewise heard that Miss Grey has fifty thousand pounds? In that, if in any thing, we may find an explanation."
"It is. But have you also heard that Miss Grey has fifty thousand pounds? In that, if in anything, we might find an explanation."
"It may be so; but Willoughby is capable—at least I think—" he stopped a moment; then added in a voice which seemed to distrust itself, "And your sister, how did she,—"[173]
"It might be true; but Willoughby is capable—at least I believe—" he paused for a moment; then added in a voice that seemed uncertain, "And your sister, how did she,—"[173]
"Her sufferings have been very severe. I have only to hope that they may be proportionately short. It has been, it is a most cruel affliction. Till yesterday, I believe, she never doubted his regard; and even now, perhaps—but I am almost convinced that he never was really attached to her. He has been very deceitful! and, in some points, there seems a hardness of heart about him."
"Her pain has been really intense. I can only hope that it won’t last too long. It has been, and still is, a terrible burden. Until yesterday, I think she never questioned his feelings for her; and even now, maybe—but I’m almost sure he never truly cared for her. He has been very dishonest! And, in some ways, he seems to have a coldness in him."
"Ah!" said Colonel Brandon, "there is, indeed! But your sister does not—I think you said so—she does not consider quite as you do?"
"Ah!" said Colonel Brandon, "there is, indeed! But your sister doesn't—I think you mentioned that—she doesn't see things quite the same way you do?"
"You know her disposition, and may believe how eagerly she would still justify him if she could."
"You know her personality and can imagine how eagerly she'd still defend him if she had the chance."
He made no answer; and soon afterwards, by the removal of the tea-things, and the arrangement of the card parties, the subject was necessarily dropped. Mrs. Jennings, who had watched them with pleasure while they were talking, and who expected to see the effect of Miss Dashwood's communication, in such an instantaneous gaiety on Colonel Brandon's side, as might have become a man in the bloom of youth, of hope and happiness, saw him, with amazement, remain the whole evening more serious and thoughtful than usual.
He didn’t respond; and soon after, with the clearing of the tea things and the setup of the card games, the topic was naturally set aside. Mrs. Jennings, who had been enjoying their conversation and expected to see Miss Dashwood’s news bring a quick cheerfulness to Colonel Brandon, like what you’d expect from a young man full of hope and happiness, was astonished to see him remain more serious and reflective than usual all evening.
CHAPTER XXXI
From a night of more sleep than she had expected, Marianne awoke the next morning to the same consciousness of misery in which she had closed her eyes.
From a night of more sleep than she had expected, Marianne woke up the next morning to the same awareness of misery that she had when she closed her eyes.
Elinor encouraged her as much as possible to talk of what she felt; and before breakfast was ready, they had gone through the subject again and again; and with the same steady conviction and affectionate counsel on Elinor's side, the same impetuous feelings and varying opinions on Marianne's, as before. Sometimes she could believe Willoughby to be as unfortunate and as innocent as herself, and at others, lost every consolation in the impossibility of acquitting him. At one moment she was absolutely indifferent to the observation of all the world, at another she would seclude herself from it for ever, and at a third could resist it with energy. In one thing, however,[174] she was uniform, when it came to the point, in avoiding, where it was possible, the presence of Mrs. Jennings, and in a determined silence when obliged to endure it. Her heart was hardened against the belief of Mrs. Jennings's entering into her sorrows with any compassion.
Elinor encouraged her as much as she could to share her feelings, and before breakfast was ready, they had gone over the subject many times; Elinor maintained the same steady support and caring advice, while Marianne fluctuated between intense emotions and changing opinions, just like before. Sometimes she genuinely believed that Willoughby was just as unfortunate and innocent as she was, while at other times, she couldn't find any comfort in the idea that he could be innocent. At one moment, she felt completely indifferent to what everyone thought, at another, she wanted to isolate herself forever, and at yet another, she fought against it with determination. However, one thing remained constant: she tried her best to avoid being around Mrs. Jennings and kept silent when she had to be near her. She had hardened her heart against the idea that Mrs. Jennings could share in her sorrows with any understanding.
"No, no, no, it cannot be," she cried; "she cannot feel. Her kindness is not sympathy; her good-nature is not tenderness. All that she wants is gossip, and she only likes me now because I supply it."
"No, no, no, it can't be," she exclaimed; "she can't feel. Her kindness isn't sympathy; her good nature isn't tenderness. All she wants is gossip, and she only likes me now because I provide it."
Elinor had not needed this to be assured of the injustice to which her sister was often led in her opinion of others, by the irritable refinement of her own mind, and the too great importance placed by her on the delicacies of a strong sensibility, and the graces of a polished manner. Like half the rest of the world, if more than half there be that are clever and good, Marianne, with excellent abilities and an excellent disposition, was neither reasonable nor candid. She expected from other people the same opinions and feelings as her own, and she judged of their motives by the immediate effect of their actions on herself. Thus a circumstance occurred, while the sisters were together in their own room after breakfast, which sunk the heart of Mrs. Jennings still lower in her estimation; because, through her own weakness, it chanced to prove a source of fresh pain to herself, though Mrs. Jennings was governed in it by an impulse of the utmost good-will.
Elinor didn't need any extra proof of the unfairness that often influenced her sister’s views of others, shaped by the sensitive nature of her own mind and the excessive importance she placed on the subtleties of deep feelings and the charm of a refined manner. Like many people, and perhaps more than half of those who are both smart and kind, Marianne, despite her great talents and wonderful character, was neither reasonable nor honest. She expected everyone to share her opinions and feelings, and she judged their intentions based on how their actions directly affected her. So, a situation arose while the sisters were in their room after breakfast that made Mrs. Jennings feel even lower in Elinor's eyes because, due to her own vulnerability, it ended up being a source of new pain for herself, even though Mrs. Jennings acted out of genuine goodwill.
With a letter in her outstretched hand, and countenance gaily smiling, from the persuasion of bringing comfort, she entered their room, saying—
With a letter in her outstretched hand and a cheerful smile, hoping to bring them comfort, she entered their room, saying—
"Now, my dear, I bring you something that I am sure will do you good."
"Now, my dear, I have something that I know will be good for you."
Marianne heard enough. In one moment her imagination placed before her a letter from Willoughby, full of tenderness and contrition, explanatory of all that had passed, satisfactory, convincing; and instantly followed by Willoughby himself, rushing eagerly into the room to enforce, at her feet, by the eloquence of his eyes, the assurances of his letter. The work of one moment was destroyed by the next. The hand writing of her mother, never till then unwelcome, was before her; and, in the acuteness of the disappointment which followed such an ecstasy of more than hope, she felt as if, till that instant, she had never suffered.
Marianne had heard enough. In an instant, her imagination conjured up a letter from Willoughby, filled with warmth and regret, explaining everything that had happened, reassuring and convincing; and right after that, Willoughby himself burst into the room, eager to reinforce the promises in his letter with the expressive look in his eyes. But the bliss of that moment was shattered by the next. Her mother’s handwriting, which had never bothered her before, was in front of her; and in the sharp pain of the disappointment that followed that intense moment of hope, she felt like she had never truly suffered until now.
The cruelty of Mrs. Jennings no language, within her reach[175] in her moments of happiest eloquence, could have expressed; and now she could reproach her only by the tears which streamed from her eyes with passionate violence—a reproach, however, so entirely lost on its object, that after many expressions of pity, she withdrew, still referring her to the letter of comfort. But the letter, when she was calm enough to read it, brought little comfort. Willoughby filled every page. Her mother, still confident of their engagement, and relying as warmly as ever on his constancy, had only been roused by Elinor's application, to entreat from Marianne greater openness towards them both; and this, with such tenderness towards her, such affection for Willoughby, and such a conviction of their future happiness in each other, that she wept with agony through the whole of it.
The cruelty of Mrs. Jennings was beyond any words that could express it, even in her most eloquent moments[175]. Now, all she could do was reproach her with the tears streaming down her face with passionate intensity—a reproach that was completely lost on its target. After many expressions of pity, she left, still suggesting that Marianne refer to the letter of comfort. However, when Marianne was calm enough to read it, it brought little solace. Willoughby filled every page. Her mother, still sure of their engagement and as hopeful as ever about his loyalty, had only been prompted by Elinor's request to ask Marianne to be more open with them both. This request contained such tenderness for her, such affection for Willoughby, and such certainty of their future happiness together that Marianne cried in agony through the entire thing.
All her impatience to be at home again now returned; her mother was dearer to her than ever; dearer through the very excess of her mistaken confidence in Willoughby, and she was wildly urgent to be gone. Elinor, unable herself to determine whether it were better for Marianne to be in London or at Barton, offered no counsel of her own except of patience till their mother's wishes could be known; and at length she obtained her sister's consent to wait for that knowledge.
All her impatience to be home returned; her mother meant more to her than ever, especially because of her misplaced faith in Willoughby, and she was eager to leave. Elinor, unsure whether it was better for Marianne to be in London or at Barton, didn’t offer any advice other than to be patient until they knew what their mother wanted; eventually, she convinced her sister to wait for that information.
Mrs. Jennings left them earlier than usual; for she could not be easy till the Middletons and Palmers were able to grieve as much as herself; and positively refusing Elinor's offered attendance, went out alone for the rest of the morning. Elinor, with a very heavy heart, aware of the pain she was going to communicate, and perceiving, by Marianne's letter, how ill she had succeeded in laying any foundation for it, then sat down to write her mother an account of what had passed, and entreat her directions for the future; while Marianne, who came into the drawing-room on Mrs. Jennings's going away, remained fixed at the table where Elinor wrote, watching the advancement of her pen, grieving over her for the hardship of such a task, and grieving still more fondly over its effect on her mother.
Mrs. Jennings left them earlier than usual because she couldn’t relax until the Middletons and Palmers were able to mourn like she was; she firmly declined Elinor’s offer to accompany her and went out alone for the rest of the morning. Elinor, feeling very heavy-hearted and knowing the pain she was about to share, realized from Marianne's letter that she hadn’t laid the right groundwork for it. She then sat down to write her mother an update on what had happened and asked for her guidance for the future. Meanwhile, Marianne, who came into the drawing-room after Mrs. Jennings left, stayed at the table where Elinor was writing, watching her pen move, feeling sad for Elinor having to go through such a difficult task, and feeling even more sorrowful for its impact on their mother.
In this manner they had continued about a quarter of an hour, when Marianne, whose nerves could not then bear any sudden noise, was startled by a rap at the door.
In this way, they had been going on for about fifteen minutes when Marianne, whose nerves couldn't handle any loud noise at the moment, was shocked by a knock at the door.
"Who can this be?" cried Elinor. "So early too! I thought we had been safe."
"Who could this be?" Elinor exclaimed. "So early, too! I thought we were safe."
Marianne moved to the window—
Marianne went to the window—
"It is Colonel Brandon!" said she, with vexation. "We are never safe from him."
"It’s Colonel Brandon!" she said, frustrated. "We can never escape him."
"He will not come in, as Mrs. Jennings is from home."
"He won’t come in since Mrs. Jennings is out."
"I will not trust to that," retreating to her own room. "A man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others."
"I won't rely on that," she said as she went back to her room. "A man who has no use for his own time has no regard for intruding on the time of others."
The event proved her conjecture right, though it was founded on injustice and error; for Colonel Brandon did come in; and Elinor, who was convinced that solicitude for Marianne brought him thither, and who saw that solicitude in his disturbed and melancholy look, and in his anxious though brief inquiry after her, could not forgive her sister for esteeming him so lightly.
The event proved her guess right, even though it was based on injustice and mistakes; because Colonel Brandon *did* show up; and Elinor, who believed that his concern for Marianne brought him there, and who saw *that* concern in his troubled and sad expression, and in his worried but brief question about her, couldn’t forgive her sister for thinking so little of him.
"I met Mrs. Jennings in Bond Street," said he, after the first salutation, "and she encouraged me to come on; and I was the more easily encouraged, because I thought it probable that I might find you alone, which I was very desirous of doing. My object—my wish—my sole wish in desiring it—I hope, I believe it is—is to be a means of giving comfort;—no, I must not say comfort—not present comfort—but conviction, lasting conviction to your sister's mind. My regard for her, for yourself, for your mother—will you allow me to prove it, by relating some circumstances which nothing but a very sincere regard—nothing but an earnest desire of being useful—I think I am justified—though where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?" He stopped.
"I ran into Mrs. Jennings on Bond Street," he said after the initial greeting, "and she encouraged me to keep going; and I was more than willing to follow her suggestion because I thought it was likely I would find you alone, which I really wanted to do. My goal—my wish—my only wish in wanting this—I hope, I believe it is—to help bring some reassurance;—no, I shouldn’t say reassurance—not immediate reassurance—but rather a lasting sense of certainty to your sister’s mind. My feelings for her, for you, for your mother—would you let me show this by sharing some details that could only come from a very genuine concern—only from a true desire to be helpful—I believe I’m justified in doing this—though after spending so many hours convincing myself that I’m right, isn’t there some reason to worry that I might be wrong?" He paused.
"I understand you," said Elinor. "You have something to tell me of Mr. Willoughby, that will open his character farther. Your telling it will be the greatest act of friendship that can be shown Marianne. My gratitude will be insured immediately by any information tending to that end, and hers must be gained by it in time. Pray, pray let me hear it."
"I get what you’re saying," Elinor said. "You have something to share about Mr. Willoughby that will reveal more about him. Sharing this with me would be the biggest favor you could do for Marianne. My gratitude will be guaranteed right away by any information that helps with that, and hers will come in time. Please, please let me hear it."
"You shall; and, to be brief, when I quitted Barton last October,—but this will give you no idea—I must go farther back. You will find me a very awkward narrator, Miss Dashwood; I hardly know where to begin. A short account of myself, I believe, will be necessary, and it shall be a short one. On such a subject," sighing heavily, "can I have little temptation to be diffuse."
"You will; and to keep it short, when I left Barton last October—but this won't really help you—I need to go back further. You'll find me a pretty clumsy storyteller, Miss Dashwood; I can barely figure out where to start. I think a brief overview of myself is necessary, and it will be a brief one. On such a topic," with a heavy sigh, "I have little desire to go into detail."
He stopt a moment for recollection, and then, with another sigh, went on.
He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, and then, with another sigh, continued on.
"You have probably entirely forgotten a conversation—(it is not to be supposed that it could make any impression on you)—a conversation between us one evening at Barton Park—it was the evening of a dance—in which I alluded to a lady I had once known, as resembling, in some measure, your sister Marianne."
"You've probably completely forgotten a conversation—(it's unlikely that it made any impression on you)—a conversation we had one evening at Barton Park—it was the night of a dance—in which I mentioned a lady I once knew, who reminded me, to some extent, of your sister Marianne."
"Indeed," answered Elinor, "I have not forgotten it." He looked pleased by this remembrance, and added—
"Yeah," Elinor replied, "I haven't forgotten it." He seemed happy to hear that and added—
"If I am not deceived by the uncertainty, the partiality of tender recollection, there is a very strong resemblance between them, as well in mind as person. The same warmth of heart, the same eagerness of fancy and spirits. This lady was one of my nearest relations, an orphan from her infancy, and under the guardianship of my father. Our ages were nearly the same, and from our earliest years we were playfellows and friends. I cannot remember the time when I did not love Eliza; and my affection for her, as we grew up, was such, as perhaps, judging from my present forlorn and cheerless gravity, you might think me incapable of having ever felt. Her's, for me, was, I believe, fervent as the attachment of your sister to Mr. Willoughby and it was, though from a different cause, no less unfortunate. At seventeen she was lost to me for ever. She was married—married against her inclination to my brother. Her fortune was large, and our family estate much encumbered. And this, I fear, is all that can be said for the conduct of one, who was at once her uncle and guardian. My brother did not deserve her; he did not even love her. I had hoped that her regard for me would support her under any difficulty, and for some time it did; but at last the misery of her situation, for she experienced great unkindness, overcame all her resolution, and though she had promised me that nothing—but how blindly I relate! I have never told you how this was brought on. We were within a few hours of eloping together for Scotland. The treachery, or the folly, of my cousin's maid betrayed us. I was banished to the house of a relation far distant, and she was allowed no liberty, no society, no amusement, till my father's point was gained. I had depended on her fortitude too far, and the blow was a severe one, but had her marriage been happy, so young as I[178] then was, a few months must have reconciled me to it, or at least I should not have now to lament it. This however was not the case. My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly. The consequence of this, upon a mind so young, so lively, so inexperienced as Mrs. Brandon's, was but too natural. She resigned herself at first to all the misery of her situation; and happy had it been if she had not lived to overcome those regrets which the remembrance of me occasioned. But can we wonder that, with such a husband to provoke inconstancy, and without a friend to advise or restrain her (for my father lived only a few months after their marriage, and I was with my regiment in the East Indies) she should fall? Had I remained in England, perhaps—but I meant to promote the happiness of both by removing from her for years, and for that purpose had procured my exchange. The shock which her marriage had given me," he continued, in a voice of great agitation, "was of trifling weight—was nothing to what I felt when I heard, about two years afterwards, of her divorce. It was that which threw this gloom,—even now the recollection of what I suffered—"
"If I’m not mistaken, and despite the uncertainty and fond memories clouding my judgment, there’s a strong resemblance between them, both in mind and appearance. The same warmth of heart, the same enthusiasm and spirit. This lady was one of my closest relatives, an orphan since childhood, who was under my father’s guardianship. We were nearly the same age, and from our early years we were playmates and friends. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love Eliza; and my affection for her as we grew up was such that you might think I was incapable of feeling this way given my current gloomy demeanor. Her feelings for me were, I believe, as intense as your sister’s attachment to Mr. Willoughby, and, though for different reasons, just as unfortunate. At seventeen, she was lost to me forever. She got married—against her will—to my brother. She had a substantial fortune, and our family estate was heavily burdened. Unfortunately, that’s all I can say about the actions of someone who was both her uncle and guardian. My brother didn’t deserve her; he didn’t even love her. I had hoped that her feelings for me would help her endure any hardship, and for a while, it did; but eventually, the misery of her situation, where she faced significant unkindness, overwhelmed her resolve. She had promised me that nothing—but how blindly I recount this! I haven’t shared with you how it all started. We were just hours away from eloping to Scotland. The treachery, or foolishness, of my cousin's maid betrayed us. I was sent away to the home of a distant relative, and she was given no freedom, no companionship, no enjoyment until my father got his way. I had relied too much on her strength, and the blow was a harsh one, but had her marriage been happy, given how young I was, a few months should have made me come to terms with it, or at least I wouldn’t still be mourning it now. However, that wasn’t the case. My brother had no feelings for her; his pleasures weren’t what they should have been, and from the beginning, he treated her badly. The result of this, on a mind so young, lively, and inexperienced as Mrs. Brandon's, was all too predictable. She initially submitted to all the misery of her situation; and it would have been better if she hadn’t lived long enough to overcome those regrets that my memory brought her. But can we blame her? With such a husband provoking her infidelity, and without a friend to guide or support her (since my father only lived a few months after their marriage, and I was stationed with my regiment in the East Indies), how could she not fall? Had I stayed in England, perhaps—but I intended to promote the happiness of both by being away from her for years, and for that reason, I arranged for my transfer. The shock of her marriage was nothing compared to what I felt when I learned, about two years later, of her divorce. It was that which cast this shadow over me,—even now, just recalling my suffering—"
He could say no more, and rising hastily walked for a few minutes about the room. Elinor, affected by his relation, and still more by his distress, could not speak. He saw her concern, and coming to her, took her hand, pressed it, and kissed it with grateful respect. A few minutes more of silent exertion enabled him to proceed with composure.
He couldn't say anything else, so he got up and walked around the room for a few minutes. Elinor, moved by his story and even more by his distress, was speechless. He noticed her worry, approached her, took her hand, pressed it, and kissed it with gratitude and respect. After a few more minutes of silent effort, he was able to continue with composure.
"It was nearly three years after this unhappy period before I returned to England. My first care, when I did arrive, was of course to seek for her; but the search was as fruitless as it was melancholy. I could not trace her beyond her first seducer, and there was every reason to fear that she had removed from him only to sink deeper in a life of sin. Her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune, nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance, and I learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person. He imagined, and calmly could he imagine it, that her extravagance, and consequent distress, had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief. At last, however, and after I had been six months in England, I did find her. Regard for a former servant[179] of my own, who had since fallen into misfortune, carried me to visit him in a spunging-house, where he was confined for debt; and there, in the same house, under a similar confinement, was my unfortunate sister. So altered—so faded—worn down by acute suffering of every kind! hardly could I believe the melancholy and sickly figure before me, to be the remains of the lovely, blooming, healthful girl, on whom I had once doted. What I endured in so beholding her—but I have no right to wound your feelings by attempting to describe it—I have pained you too much already. That she was, to all appearance, in the last stage of a consumption, was—yes, in such a situation it was my greatest comfort. Life could do nothing for her, beyond giving time for a better preparation for death; and that was given. I saw her placed in comfortable lodgings, and under proper attendants; I visited her every day during the rest of her short life: I was with her in her last moments."
It was nearly three years after this unhappy time before I went back to England. My first concern when I arrived was, of course, to look for her; but the search was as pointless as it was sad. I couldn't trace her beyond her first deceiver, and there was every reason to fear that she had moved away from him only to sink deeper into a life of sin. Her legal allowance wasn't enough to support her or ensure her comfort, and I learned from my brother that the right to receive it had been transferred to someone else months before. He thought, and could calmly think it, that her spending and resulting distress had forced her to sell it for some immediate relief. Finally, however, after six months in England, I found her. My concern for a former servant of mine, who had since fallen on hard times, led me to visit him in a debtors' prison; and there, in the same place, under similar conditions, was my unfortunate sister. She was so changed—so faded—worn down by acute suffering of every kind! I could hardly believe that the sad and sickly figure before me was the same lovely, vibrant girl I had once adored. The pain I felt seeing her like that—I have no right to hurt your feelings by trying to describe it—I’ve already troubled you too much. That she appeared to be in the final stage of consumption was—yes, under those circumstances, it was my greatest comfort. Life could do nothing for her other than provide time for a better preparation for death; and that time was given. I saw her settled in comfortable lodgings, with proper care; I visited her every day during the rest of her short life: I was with her in her final moments.
Again he stopped to recover himself; and Elinor spoke her feelings in an exclamation of tender concern, at the fate of his unfortunate friend.
Again he paused to gather himself; and Elinor expressed her feelings with a heartfelt exclamation of sympathy for the fate of his unfortunate friend.
"Your sister, I hope, cannot be offended," said he, "by the resemblance I have fancied between her and my poor disgraced relation. Their fates, their fortunes, cannot be the same; and had the natural sweet disposition of the one been guarded by a firmer mind, or a happier marriage, she might have been all that you will live to see the other be. But to what does all this lead? I seem to have been distressing you for nothing. Ah! Miss Dashwood—a subject such as this—untouched for fourteen years—it is dangerous to handle it at all! I will be more collected—more concise. She left to my care her only child, a little girl, the offspring of her first guilty connection, who was then about three years old. She loved the child, and had always kept it with her. It was a valued, a precious trust to me; and gladly would I have discharged it in the strictest sense, by watching over her education myself, had the nature of our situations allowed it; but I had no family, no home; and my little Eliza was therefore placed at school. I saw her there whenever I could, and after the death of my brother, (which happened about five years ago, and which left to me the possession of the family property,) she visited me at Delaford. I called her a distant relation; but I[180] am well aware that I have in general been suspected of a much nearer connection with her. It is now three years ago (she had just reached her fourteenth year,) that I removed her from school, to place her under the care of a very respectable woman, residing in Dorsetshire, who had the charge of four or five other girls of about the same time of life; and for two years I had every reason to be pleased with her situation. But last February, almost a twelvemonth back, she suddenly disappeared. I had allowed her, (imprudently, as it has since turned out,) at her earnest desire, to go to Bath with one of her young friends, who was attending her father there for his health. I knew him to be a very good sort of man, and I thought well of his daughter—better than she deserved, for, with a most obstinate and ill-judged secrecy, she would tell nothing, would give no clue, though she certainly knew all. He, her father, a well-meaning, but not a quick-sighted man, could really, I believe, give no information; for he had been generally confined to the house, while the girls were ranging over the town and making what acquaintance they chose; and he tried to convince me, as thoroughly as he was convinced himself, of his daughter's being entirely unconcerned in the business. In short, I could learn nothing but that she was gone; all the rest, for eight long months, was left to conjecture. What I thought, what I feared, may be imagined; and what I suffered too."
"Your sister, I hope, won’t take offense," he said, "at the similarity I’ve noticed between her and my poor disgraced relative. Their destinies and fortunes can't possibly be the same; and if the naturally sweet nature of one had been protected by a stronger mindset or a happier marriage, she could have been everything you will eventually see the other become. But where is all this leading? I feel like I've been troubling you for no reason. Ah! Miss Dashwood—a topic like this—untouched for fourteen years—it’s risky to discuss it at all! I will be more focused—more to the point. She entrusted me with her only child, a little girl from her first troubled relationship, who was then about three years old. She loved the child and always kept her close. It was a valued, precious trust for me, and I would have happily fulfilled it in the most thorough way by overseeing her education myself, had our circumstances allowed it; but I had no family, no home; so my little Eliza was placed in school. I visited her there whenever I could, and after my brother’s death (which occurred about five years ago, leaving me the family property), she came to stay with me at Delaford. I referred to her as a distant relative; but I[180] know full well that people generally suspected a much closer connection. It was three years ago (she had just turned fourteen) that I pulled her from school to place her under the care of a respectable woman living in Dorsetshire, who looked after four or five other girls around the same age; and for two years, I had every reason to be satisfied with her situation. But last February, almost a year ago, she suddenly disappeared. I had allowed her, (foolishly, as it’s turned out,) at her strong request, to go to Bath with one of her young friends whose father was there for his health. I knew him to be a decent man, and I thought well of his daughter—better than she deserved, as she kept everything so stubbornly and foolishly secret, refusing to share anything, even though she must have known everything. Her father, a well-meaning but not very perceptive man, honestly couldn’t provide any information; he had been mostly stuck at home while the girls were out exploring the town and making whatever acquaintances they chose; and he tried to convince me, as firmly as he believed himself, that his daughter had no involvement in it at all. In short, I could find out nothing except that she was gone; everything else, for eight long months, was left up to speculation. You can imagine what I thought, what I feared, and what I endured."
"Good heavens!" cried Elinor, "could it be—could Willoughby!"—
"Good heavens!" Elinor exclaimed, "could it be—could it really be Willoughby?"—
"The first news that reached me of her," he continued, "came in a letter from herself, last October. It was forwarded to me from Delaford, and I received it on the very morning of our intended party to Whitwell; and this was the reason of my leaving Barton so suddenly, which I am sure must at the time have appeared strange to every body, and which I believe gave offence to some. Little did Mr. Willoughby imagine, I suppose, when his looks censured me for incivility in breaking up the party, that I was called away to the relief of one whom he had made poor and miserable; but had he known it, what would it have availed? Would he have been less gay or less happy in the smiles of your sister? No, he had already done that, which no man who can feel for another would do. He had left the girl whose youth and innocence he had seduced, in[181] a situation of the utmost distress, with no creditable home, no help, no friends, ignorant of his address! He had left her, promising to return; he neither returned, nor wrote, nor relieved her."
"The first news I got about her," he continued, "came in a letter from her last October. It was sent to me from Delaford, and I received it on the very morning of our planned party at Whitwell; that’s why I left Barton so abruptly, which I’m sure must have seemed strange to everyone at the time and may have offended some. Little did Mr. Willoughby realize, I guess, when his expression scolded me for being rude by breaking up the party, that I was called away to help someone he had made poor and miserable; but if he had known, what difference would it have made? Would he have been any less cheerful or any less happy in your sister's company? No, he had already done something that no man who truly cares for others would do. He had abandoned the girl whose youth and innocence he had corrupted, leaving her in a situation of complete distress, with no respectable home, no support, no friends, and without even knowing how to reach him! He had left her with a promise to come back; he neither returned, nor wrote, nor helped her."
"This is beyond every thing!" exclaimed Elinor.
"This is beyond everything!" exclaimed Elinor.
"His character is now before you; expensive, dissipated, and worse than both. Knowing all this, as I have now known it many weeks, guess what I must have felt on seeing your sister as fond of him as ever, and on being assured that she was to marry him: guess what I must have felt for all your sakes. When I came to you last week and found you alone, I came determined to know the truth; though irresolute what to do when it was known. My behaviour must have seemed strange to you then; but now you will comprehend it. To suffer you all to be so deceived; to see your sister—but what could I do? I had no hope of interfering with success; and sometimes I thought your sister's influence might yet reclaim him. But now, after such dishonorable usage, who can tell what were his designs on her. Whatever they may have been, however, she may now, and hereafter doubtless will, turn with gratitude towards her own condition, when she compares it with that of my poor Eliza, when she considers the wretched and hopeless situation of this poor girl, and pictures her to herself, with an affection for him so strong, still as strong as her own, and with a mind tormented by self-reproach, which must attend her through life. Surely this comparison must have its use with her. She will feel her own sufferings to be nothing. They proceed from no misconduct, and can bring no disgrace. On the contrary, every friend must be made still more her friend by them. Concern for her unhappiness, and respect for her fortitude under it, must strengthen every attachment. Use your own discretion, however, in communicating to her what I have told you. You must know best what will be its effect; but had I not seriously, and from my heart believed it might be of service, might lessen her regrets, I would not have suffered myself to trouble you with this account of my family afflictions, with a recital which may seem to have been intended to raise myself at the expense of others."
"His character is now in front of you; expensive, reckless, and worse than both. Knowing all this, as I have for many weeks, can you imagine what I felt seeing your sister still so fond of him and being told that she was going to marry him? Consider what I must have felt for all your sakes. When I visited you last week and found you alone, I came prepared to find out the truth, though unsure of what to do once I knew it. My behavior must have seemed strange to you then, but now you will understand it. Allowing you all to be so misled; watching your sister—what could I do? I had no hope of successfully intervening, and sometimes I thought your sister’s influence might still bring him around. But now, after such dishonorable treatment, who knows what his intentions toward her were? Whatever they were, she may now, and surely will in the future, feel grateful for her own situation when she compares it to my poor Eliza’s situation, when she considers the miserable and hopeless plight of this poor girl, who loves him so deeply, still as deeply as she does, and has to live with a mind tormented by self-reproach throughout her life. Surely, this comparison will be helpful to her. She will realize her own sufferings are nothing. They come from no wrongdoing and bring no disgrace. On the contrary, every friend will become even more of a friend because of them. Concern for her unhappiness and respect for her strength will only strengthen every bond. However, use your own judgment when telling her what I’ve shared. You know best how she will react, but had I not genuinely believed it might help and lessen her regrets, I wouldn’t have troubled you with this account of my family troubles, or with a story that may seem like an attempt to elevate myself at the expense of others."
Elinor's thanks followed this speech with grateful earnestness; attended too with the assurance of her expecting[182] material advantage to Marianne, from the communication of what had passed.
Elinor expressed her thanks with genuine gratitude; she was also confident that sharing what had happened would bring some real benefits to Marianne.
"I have been more pained," said she, "by her endeavors to acquit him than by all the rest; for it irritates her mind more than the most perfect conviction of his unworthiness can do. Now, though at first she will suffer much, I am sure she will soon become easier. Have you," she continued, after a short silence, "ever seen Mr. Willoughby since you left him at Barton?"
"I’ve been hurt more," she said, "by her efforts to defend him than by everything else; it frustrates her more than the absolute certainty of his unworthiness ever could. Now, even though she will struggle a lot at first, I’m confident she will feel better soon. Have you," she continued after a brief pause, "seen Mr. Willoughby at all since you left him at Barton?"
"Yes," he replied gravely, "once I have. One meeting was unavoidable."
"Yes," he replied seriously, "I have. One meeting was unavoidable."
Elinor, startled by his manner, looked at him anxiously, saying—
Elinor, surprised by his behavior, looked at him worriedly and said—
"What? have you met him to—"
"What? Have you met him to—"
"I could meet him no other way. Eliza had confessed to me, though most reluctantly, the name of her lover; and when he returned to town, which was within a fortnight after myself, we met by appointment, he to defend, I to punish his conduct. We returned unwounded, and the meeting, therefore, never got abroad."
"I couldn’t meet him any other way. Eliza had reluctantly confessed to me the name of her lover; and when he returned to town, which was within two weeks after I did, we met by arrangement, he to defend himself, and I to confront him about his actions. We left the meeting without injuries, and so the encounter never became known."
Elinor sighed over the fancied necessity of this; but to a man and a soldier she presumed not to censure it.
Elinor sighed at the imagined need for this; however, as a man and a soldier, she figured she shouldn’t criticize it.
"Such," said Colonel Brandon, after a pause, "has been the unhappy resemblance between the fate of mother and daughter! and so imperfectly have I discharged my trust!"
"Such," said Colonel Brandon, after a pause, "has been the unfortunate similarity between the fates of mother and daughter! And I've done such a poor job of fulfilling my responsibility!"
"Is she still in town?"
"Is she still around?"
"No; as soon as she recovered from her lying-in, for I found her near her delivery, I removed her and her child into the country, and there she remains."
"No; as soon as she got better after giving birth, since I found her close to her delivery, I took her and her baby out to the country, and that's where she stays."
Recollecting, soon afterwards, that he was probably dividing Elinor from her sister, he put an end to his visit, receiving from her again the same grateful acknowledgments, and leaving her full of compassion and esteem for him.
Remembering soon after that he was likely separating Elinor from her sister, he ended his visit, receiving once more her heartfelt thanks, and leaving her filled with compassion and respect for him.
CHAPTER XXXII
When the particulars of this conversation were repeated by Miss Dashwood to her sister, as they very soon were, the effect on her was not entirely such as the former had hoped to see. Not that Marianne appeared to distrust the truth of any part of it, for she listened to it all with the most steady and submissive attention, made neither objection nor remark, attempted no vindication of Willoughby, and seemed to show by her tears that she felt it to be impossible. But though this behaviour assured Elinor that the conviction of this guilt was carried home to her mind, though she saw with satisfaction the effect of it, in her no longer avoiding Colonel Brandon when he called, in her speaking to him, even voluntarily speaking, with a kind of compassionate respect, and though she saw her spirits less violently irritated than before, she did not see her less wretched. Her mind did become settled, but it was settled in a gloomy dejection. She felt the loss of Willoughby's character yet more heavily than she had felt the loss of his heart; his seduction and desertion of Miss Williams, the misery of that poor girl, and the doubt of what his designs might once have been on herself, preyed altogether so much on her spirits, that she could not bring herself to speak of what she felt even to Elinor; and, brooding over her sorrows in silence, gave more pain to her sister than could have been communicated by the most open and most frequent confession of them.
When Miss Dashwood shared the details of this conversation with her sister, which she did not long after, the impact on her sister wasn’t quite what Elinor had hoped for. It wasn’t that Marianne seemed to doubt any part of it—she listened intently and without interruption, made no objections or comments, didn't try to defend Willoughby, and her tears showed that she felt it was all too true. But even though Elinor was reassured that Marianne understood Willoughby's guilt, and she was pleased to see that Marianne no longer avoided Colonel Brandon and even spoke to him with a kind of compassionate respect, she noticed that Marianne was still just as miserable. Marianne's mind might have calmed down, but it was now filled with dark sadness. She felt the loss of Willoughby's reputation even more deeply than the loss of his love; his betrayal of Miss Williams, the devastation of that poor girl, and the uncertainty about what his intentions might have been with her weighed heavily on her spirits. Marianne couldn’t bring herself to talk about her feelings, even with Elinor, and by silently dwelling on her sorrows, she caused her sister even more pain than if she had openly confessed to them.
To give the feelings or the language of Mrs. Dashwood on receiving and answering Elinor's letter would be only to give a repetition of what her daughters had already felt and said; of a disappointment hardly less painful than Marianne's, and an indignation even greater than Elinor's. Long letters from her, quickly succeeding each other, arrived to tell all that she suffered and thought; to express her anxious solicitude for Marianne, and entreat she would bear up with fortitude under this misfortune. Bad indeed must the nature of Marianne's affliction be, when her mother could talk of fortitude! mortifying and humiliating must be the origin of those regrets, which she could wish her not to indulge![184]
To share Mrs. Dashwood's feelings or words when she received and responded to Elinor's letter would just repeat what her daughters had already experienced and expressed; a disappointment almost as painful as Marianne's, and an anger even stronger than Elinor's. Long letters from her came in quickly, revealing all that she was feeling and thinking; expressing her deep concern for Marianne and urging her to stay strong through this tough time. It must be quite serious for Marianne if her mother could even mention staying strong! The source of those regrets must be truly humiliating for her to wish her daughter not to dwell on them![184]
Against the interest of her own individual comfort, Mrs. Dashwood had determined that it would be better for Marianne to be any where, at that time, than at Barton, where every thing within her view would be bringing back the past in the strongest and most afflicting manner, by constantly placing Willoughby before her, such as she had always seen him there. She recommended it to her daughters, therefore, by all means not to shorten their visit to Mrs. Jennings; the length of which, though never exactly fixed, had been expected by all to comprise at least five or six weeks. A variety of occupations, of objects, and of company, which could not be procured at Barton, would be inevitable there, and might yet, she hoped, cheat Marianne, at times, into some interest beyond herself, and even into some amusement, much as the ideas of both might now be spurned by her.
Despite valuing her own comfort, Mrs. Dashwood decided it was better for Marianne to be anywhere but Barton at that time. Being there would only remind her of the past in the most painful way, constantly bringing Willoughby to mind, just as she had always seen him. So, she urged her daughters not to cut their visit to Mrs. Jennings short; it was expected to last at least five or six weeks, though the exact duration wasn’t set. There would be various activities, sights, and company there that they couldn't find at Barton, which she hoped might distract Marianne and offer her some moments of interest and even enjoyment, despite how much she might currently reject the idea.
From all danger of seeing Willoughby again, her mother considered her to be at least equally safe in town as in the country, since his acquaintance must now be dropped by all who called themselves her friends. Design could never bring them in each other's way: negligence could never leave them exposed to a surprise; and chance had less in its favour in the crowd of London than even in the retirement of Barton, where it might force him before her while paying that visit at Allenham on his marriage, which Mrs. Dashwood, from foreseeing at first as a probable event, had brought herself to expect as a certain one.
From any risk of seeing Willoughby again, her mother felt she was just as safe in the city as in the countryside, since all who considered themselves her friends would have cut ties with him. There was no way design could bring them together; negligence could never leave them vulnerable to a surprise; and chance was less likely to work in his favor in the hustle of London than it was in the seclusion of Barton, where he might unexpectedly show up while visiting Allenham for his marriage, an event that Mrs. Dashwood had come to expect as certain after initially considering it a possibility.
She had yet another reason for wishing her children to remain where they were; a letter from her son-in-law had told her that he and his wife were to be in town before the middle of February, and she judged it right that they should sometimes see their brother.
She had another reason for wanting her kids to stay where they were; a letter from her son-in-law had informed her that he and his wife would be in town before mid-February, and she thought it was only fair that they should see their brother sometimes.
Marianne had promised to be guided by her mother's opinion, and she submitted to it therefore without opposition, though it proved perfectly different from what she wished and expected, though she felt it to be entirely wrong, formed on mistaken grounds, and that by requiring her longer continuance in London it deprived her of the only possible alleviation of her wretchedness, the personal sympathy of her mother, and doomed her to such society and such scenes as must prevent her ever knowing a moment's rest.
Marianne had promised to listen to her mother's opinion, so she went along with it without arguing, even though it was completely different from what she wanted and expected. She felt it was completely wrong, based on misunderstandings, and by insisting that she stay in London longer, it took away the only thing that could ease her misery—the personal support of her mother—and forced her into a situation that would keep her from ever finding a moment of peace.
But it was a matter of great consolation to her, that what[185] brought evil to herself would bring good to her sister; and Elinor, on the other hand, suspecting that it would not be in her power to avoid Edward entirely, comforted herself by thinking, that though their longer stay would therefore militate against her own happiness, it would be better for Marianne than an immediate return into Devonshire.
But it really comforted her that what[185] brought trouble to her would bring good things to her sister; and Elinor, on the other hand, realizing that she wouldn't be able to completely avoid Edward, reassured herself by thinking that even though their extended stay would negatively affect her own happiness, it would still be better for Marianne than going back to Devonshire right away.
Her carefulness in guarding her sister from ever hearing Willoughby's name mentioned, was not thrown away. Marianne, though without knowing it herself, reaped all its advantage; for neither Mrs. Jennings, nor Sir John, nor even Mrs. Palmer herself, ever spoke of him before her. Elinor wished that the same forbearance could have extended towards herself, but that was impossible, and she was obliged to listen day after day to the indignation of them all.
Her carefulness in protecting her sister from ever hearing Willoughby's name mentioned paid off. Marianne, even without realizing it, benefited from this; neither Mrs. Jennings, nor Sir John, nor even Mrs. Palmer ever brought him up in her presence. Elinor wished the same restraint could have been shown toward her, but that wasn’t possible, and she had to endure day after day the anger of everyone around her.
Sir John, could not have thought it possible. "A man of whom he had always had such reason to think well! Such a good-natured fellow! He did not believe there was a bolder rider in England! It was an unaccountable business. He wished him at the devil with all his heart. He would not speak another word to him, meet him where he might, for all the world! No, not if it were to be by the side of Barton covert, and they were kept watching for two hours together. Such a scoundrel of a fellow! such a deceitful dog! It was only the last time they met that he had offered him one of Folly's puppies! and this was the end of it!"
Sir John couldn't believe it possible. "A man he had always thought so highly of! Such a good-natured guy! He didn’t think there was a braver rider in England! It was completely baffling. He wished him ill with all his heart. He wouldn't say another word to him, no matter where they might be, for anything in the world! Not even if they were side by side at Barton covert, waiting for two hours straight. What a scoundrel! What a deceitful dog! Just the last time they met, he had offered him one of Folly's puppies! And this is how it ends!"
Mrs. Palmer, in her way, was equally angry. "She was determined to drop his acquaintance immediately, and she was very thankful that she had never been acquainted with him at all. She wished with all her heart Combe Magna was not so near Cleveland; but it did not signify, for it was a great deal too far off to visit; she hated him so much that she was resolved never to mention his name again, and she should tell everybody she saw, how good-for-nothing he was."
Mrs. Palmer was just as frustrated in her own way. "She was set on cutting ties with him right away, and she was really relieved that she had never actually gotten to know him. She wished with all her heart that Combe Magna wasn't so close to Cleveland; but it didn't matter, because it was way too far to visit anyway. She disliked him so much that she was determined never to say his name again, and she would make sure to tell everyone she met just how worthless he was."
The rest of Mrs. Palmer's sympathy was shown in procuring all the particulars in her power of the approaching marriage, and communicating them to Elinor. She could soon tell at what coachmaker's the new carriage was building, by what painter Mr. Willoughby's portrait was drawn, and at what warehouse Miss Grey's clothes might be seen.
The rest of Mrs. Palmer's sympathy was shown by gathering all the details she could about the upcoming marriage and sharing them with Elinor. She quickly found out which coachmaker was building the new carriage, who painted Mr. Willoughby's portrait, and where Miss Grey's clothes could be found.
The calm and polite unconcern of Lady Middleton on the occasion was a happy relief to Elinor's spirits, oppressed as [187]they often were by the clamorous kindness of the others. It was a great comfort to her to be sure of exciting no interest in one person at least among their circle of friends: a great comfort to know that there was one who would meet her without feeling any curiosity after particulars, or any anxiety for her sister's health.
The calm and polite indifference of Lady Middleton during the occasion was a welcome relief for Elinor, who often felt overwhelmed by the noisy concern of everyone else. It was a huge comfort for her to know that she wouldn't spark any curiosity in at least one person in their group of friends: a big relief to realize there was someone who would interact with her without wanting details or worrying about her sister's health.
Every qualification is raised at times, by the circumstances of the moment, to more than its real value; and she was sometimes worried down by officious condolence to rate good-breeding as more indispensable to comfort than good-nature.
Every qualification is sometimes valued more than it really is due to the current situation; and she was occasionally overwhelmed by overbearing sympathy which made her think that good manners were more essential to comfort than being kind.
Lady Middleton expressed her sense of the affair about once every day, or twice, if the subject occurred very often, by saying, "It is very shocking, indeed!" and by the means of this continual though gentle vent, was able not only to see the Miss Dashwoods from the first without the smallest emotion, but very soon to see them without recollecting a word of the matter; and having thus supported the dignity of her own sex, and spoken her decided censure of what was wrong in the other, she thought herself at liberty to attend to the interest of her own assemblies, and therefore determined (though rather against the opinion of Sir John) that as Mrs. Willoughby would at once be a woman of elegance and fortune, to leave her card with her as soon as she married.
Lady Middleton mentioned the situation about once a day, or twice if it came up frequently, saying, “It’s really shocking!” By regularly expressing this gentle disapproval, she managed to see the Miss Dashwoods from the very start without feeling any emotion, and soon enough, she was able to see them without even remembering what had happened. Having thus upheld the dignity of her own gender and voiced her strong disapproval of what was wrong in the other, she felt free to focus on her own social events. So, despite Sir John’s reservations, she decided that since Mrs. Willoughby would soon be a woman of elegance and wealth, she would leave her card as soon as she got married.
Colonel Brandon's delicate, unobtrusive enquiries were never unwelcome to Miss Dashwood. He had abundantly earned the privilege of intimate discussion of her sister's disappointment, by the friendly zeal with which he had endeavoured to soften it, and they always conversed with confidence. His chief reward for the painful exertion of disclosing past sorrows and present humiliations, was given in the pitying eye with which Marianne sometimes observed him, and the gentleness of her voice whenever (though it did not often happen) she was obliged, or could oblige herself to speak to him. These assured him that his exertion had produced an increase of good-will towards himself, and these gave Elinor hopes of its being farther augmented hereafter; but Mrs. Jennings, who knew nothing of all this, who knew only that the Colonel continued as grave as ever, and that she could neither prevail on him to make the offer himself, nor commission her to make it for him, began, at the end of two days, to think that, instead of Mid-summer, they would not be[188] married till Michaelmas, and by the end of a week that it would not be a match at all. The good understanding between the Colonel and Miss Dashwood seemed rather to declare that the honours of the mulberry-tree, the canal, and the yew arbour, would all be made over to her; and Mrs. Jennings had, for some time ceased to think at all of Mrs. Ferrars.
Colonel Brandon's gentle, unobtrusive questions were always welcome to Miss Dashwood. He had certainly earned the right to discuss her sister's disappointment intimately, thanks to the friendly effort he had made to ease it, and they always spoke with trust. His main reward for the difficult task of revealing past sorrows and current embarrassments came from the sympathetic look Marianne would sometimes give him and the softness in her voice whenever (though it didn't happen often) she was forced to or allowed herself to talk to him. These reassured him that his efforts had built goodwill towards himself, and these gave Elinor hope that it would grow even more in the future; however, Mrs. Jennings, who was completely unaware of all this, only knew that the Colonel remained as serious as ever and that she couldn't persuade him to make the offer himself or authorize her to do it for him. After two days, she started to think that instead of Mid-summer, they wouldn't be[188] married until Michaelmas, and by the end of the week, she was convinced it wouldn't even happen at all. The good relationship between the Colonel and Miss Dashwood seemed to suggest that the honors of the mulberry tree, the canal, and the yew arbor would all be given to her; and Mrs. Jennings had stopped thinking about Mrs. Ferrars some time ago.
Early in February, within a fortnight from the receipt of Willoughby's letter, Elinor had the painful office of informing her sister that he was married. She had taken care to have the intelligence conveyed to herself, as soon as it was known that the ceremony was over, as she was desirous that Marianne should not receive the first notice of it from the public papers, which she saw her eagerly examining every morning.
Early in February, within two weeks of receiving Willoughby's letter, Elinor had the difficult task of telling her sister that he was married. She made sure to get the news to herself as soon as the ceremony was over, since she wanted to prevent Marianne from hearing about it first through the newspapers, which she eagerly checked every morning.
She received the news with resolute composure; made no observation on it, and at first shed no tears; but after a short time they would burst out, and for the rest of the day, she was in a state hardly less pitiable than when she first learnt to expect the event.
She took the news with steady calm; didn’t say anything about it, and at first, she didn’t cry; but after a little while, her tears would come, and for the rest of the day, she felt almost as miserable as when she first started to anticipate it.
The Willoughbys left town as soon as they were married; and Elinor now hoped, as there could be no danger of her seeing either of them, to prevail on her sister, who had never yet left the house since the blow first fell, to go out again by degrees as she had done before.
The Willoughbys left town right after getting married, and Elinor now hoped, since there was no chance of running into either of them, to convince her sister, who hadn't left the house since the incident first happened, to start going out again little by little like she used to.
About this time the two Miss Steeles, lately arrived at their cousin's house in Bartlett's Buildings, Holborn, presented themselves again before their more grand relations in Conduit and Berkeley Streets; and were welcomed by them all with great cordiality.
About this time, the two Miss Steeles, who had recently arrived at their cousin's house in Bartlett's Buildings, Holborn, showed up again to visit their more distinguished relatives in Conduit and Berkeley Streets; and they were all greeted with warm hospitality.
Elinor only was sorry to see them. Their presence always gave her pain, and she hardly knew how to make a very gracious return to the overpowering delight of Lucy in finding her still in town.
Elinor was just saddened to see them. Their presence always caused her discomfort, and she barely knew how to respond graciously to Lucy's overwhelming joy at discovering that she was still in town.
"I should have been quite disappointed if I had not found you here still," said she repeatedly, with a strong emphasis on the word. "But I always thought I should I was almost sure you would not leave London yet awhile; though you told me, you know, at Barton, that you should not stay above a month. But I thought, at the time, that you would most likely change your mind when it came to the point. It would have been such a great pity to have went away before your[189] brother and sister came. And now to be sure you will be in no hurry to be gone. I am amazingly glad you did not keep to your word."
"I would have been really disappointed if I hadn’t found you here still," she said repeatedly, placing strong emphasis on the word. "But I always thought I should—I was almost sure you wouldn’t leave London just yet; even though you told me at Barton that you wouldn’t stay for more than a month. I figured you'd probably change your mind when it came down to it. It would have been such a shame to leave before your[189] brother and sister arrived. And now, of course, you won’t be in any hurry to leave. I’m really glad you didn’t stick to your word."
Elinor perfectly understood her, and was forced to use all her self-command to make it appear that she did not.
Elinor completely understood her, and had to use all her self-control to make it seem like she didn’t.
"Well, my dear," said Mrs. Jennings, "and how did you travel?"
"Well, my dear," Mrs. Jennings said, "how was your trip?"
"Not in the stage, I assure you," replied Miss Steele, with quick exultation; "we came post all the way, and had a very smart beau to attend us. Dr. Davies was coming to town, and so we thought we'd join him in a post-chaise; and he behaved very genteelly, and paid ten or twelve shillings more than we did."
"Not on the stage, I promise you," replied Miss Steele, with quick excitement; "we traveled by coach all the way and had a very charming guy with us. Dr. Davies was coming to town, so we thought we’d ride with him in a carriage; he was very polite and paid ten or twelve shillings more than we did."
"Oh, oh!" cried Mrs. Jennings; "very pretty, indeed! and the Doctor is a single man, I warrant you."
"Oh, wow!" exclaimed Mrs. Jennings. "That's really lovely! And I bet the Doctor is a single guy."
"There now," said Miss Steele, affectedly simpering, "everybody laughs at me so about the Doctor, and I cannot think why. My cousins say they are sure I have made a conquest; but for my part I declare I never think about him from one hour's end to another. 'Lord! here comes your beau, Nancy,' my cousin said t'other day, when she saw him crossing the street to the house. My beau, indeed! said I—I cannot think who you mean. The Doctor is no beau of mine."
"Oh, come on," said Miss Steele, pretending to be coy, "everyone laughs at me about the Doctor, and I just don’t understand why. My cousins are convinced I've won him over, but honestly, I hardly think about him at all. 'Oh look, here comes your guy, Nancy,' my cousin said the other day when she saw him crossing the street to our house. My guy, really! I said—who are you talking about? The Doctor is definitely not my guy."
"Aye, aye, that is very pretty talking—but it won't do—the Doctor is the man, I see."
"Yeah, yeah, that's nice talk—but it won't work—the Doctor is the one, I get it."
"No, indeed!" replied her cousin, with affected earnestness, "and I beg you will contradict it, if you ever hear it talked of."
"No way!" replied her cousin, with fake seriousness, "and I really hope you’ll deny it if you ever hear anyone mention it."
Mrs. Jennings directly gave her the gratifying assurance that she certainly would not, and Miss Steele was made completely happy.
Mrs. Jennings directly reassured her that she definitely would not, and Miss Steele was completely happy.
"I suppose you will go and stay with your brother and sister, Miss Dashwood, when they come to town," said Lucy, returning, after a cessation of hostile hints, to the charge.
"I guess you’ll be going to stay with your brother and sister, Miss Dashwood, when they come to town," said Lucy, coming back after a pause in the tension to the topic.
"No, I do not think we shall."
"No, I don't think we will."
"Oh, yes, I dare say you will."
"Oh, yes, I bet you will."
Elinor would not humour her by farther opposition.
Elinor wouldn’t play along by resisting her any longer.
"What a charming thing it is that Mrs. Dashwood can spare you both for so long a time together!"
"What a lovely thing it is that Mrs. Dashwood can let you both spend so much time together!"
"Long a time, indeed!" interposed Mrs. Jennings. "Why, their visit is but just begun!"
"Wow, it's been a while!" Mrs. Jennings chimed in. "But their visit has just started!"
Lucy was silenced.
Lucy was shut down.
"I am sorry we cannot see your sister, Miss Dashwood," said Miss Steele. "I am sorry she is not well—" for Marianne had left the room on their arrival.
"I’m sorry we can’t see your sister, Miss Dashwood," said Miss Steele. "I’m sorry she isn’t well—" because Marianne had left the room when they arrived.
"You are very good. My sister will be equally sorry to miss the pleasure of seeing you; but she has been very much plagued lately with nervous head-aches, which make her unfit for company or conversation."
"You are really great. My sister will also be sorry to miss the pleasure of seeing you; but she has been really bothered lately by nervous headaches, which make her unfit for company or conversation."
"Oh, dear, that is a great pity! but such old friends as Lucy and me!—I think she might see us; and I am sure we would not speak a word."
"Oh, that's such a shame! But old friends like Lucy and me!—I think she might see us; and I know we wouldn't say a word."
Elinor, with great civility, declined the proposal. Her sister was perhaps laid down upon the bed, or in her dressing gown, and therefore not able to come to them.
Elinor politely declined the offer. Her sister was probably lying on the bed or in her dressing gown, and so she couldn't join them.
"Oh, if that's all," cried Miss Steele, "we can just as well go and see her."
"Oh, if that's all," exclaimed Miss Steele, "we can just as easily go see her."
Elinor began to find this impertinence too much for her temper; but she was saved the trouble of checking it, by Lucy's sharp reprimand, which now, as on many occasions, though it did not give much sweetness to the manners of one sister, was of advantage in governing those of the other.
Elinor started to think this disrespect was too much for her patience; but she was spared the effort of addressing it by Lucy's quick reprimand, which, as on many occasions, didn't really improve the manners of one sister but did help keep the other in check.
CHAPTER XXXIII
After some opposition, Marianne yielded to her sister's entreaties, and consented to go out with her and Mrs. Jennings one morning for half an hour. She expressly conditioned, however, for paying no visits, and would do no more than accompany them to Gray's in Sackville Street, where Elinor was carrying on a negotiation for the exchange of a few old-fashioned jewels of her mother.
After some resistance, Marianne gave in to her sister's pleas and agreed to go out with her and Mrs. Jennings one morning for half an hour. She made it clear, however, that she wouldn’t be making any visits and would only accompany them to Gray's on Sackville Street, where Elinor was negotiating the exchange of some old-fashioned jewelry from their mother.
When they stopped at the door, Mrs. Jennings recollected that there was a lady at the other end of the street on whom she ought to call; and as she had no business at Gray's, it was resolved, that while her young friends transacted their's, she should pay her visit and return for them.
When they reached the door, Mrs. Jennings remembered that there was a woman at the other end of the street she needed to visit; and since she had no reason to be at Gray's, they decided that while her young friends took care of their business, she would go pay her visit and then come back for them.
On ascending the stairs, the Miss Dashwoods found so many people before them in the room, that there was not a[192] person at liberty to tend to their orders; and they were obliged to wait. All that could be done was, to sit down at that end of the counter which seemed to promise the quickest succession; one gentleman only was standing there, and it is probable that Elinor was not without hope of exciting his politeness to a quicker despatch. But the correctness of his eye, and the delicacy of his taste, proved to be beyond his politeness. He was giving orders for a toothpick-case for himself, and till its size, shape, and ornaments were determined, all of which, after examining and debating for a quarter of an hour over every toothpick-case in the shop, were finally arranged by his own inventive fancy, he had no leisure to bestow any other attention on the two ladies, than what was comprised in three or four very broad stares; a kind of notice which served to imprint on Elinor the remembrance of a person and face, of strong, natural, sterling insignificance, though adorned in the first style of fashion.
As they climbed the stairs, the Miss Dashwoods found so many people in the room that there was not a single person available to take their orders, so they had to wait. The only option was to sit down at the end of the counter that seemed to promise the quickest service; there was only one gentleman standing there, and it’s likely Elinor hoped to prompt him into being more efficient. However, his keen eye and refined taste were more important to him than being polite. He was busy ordering a toothpick case for himself, and until he decided on its size, shape, and decorations—after examining and discussing every toothpick case in the shop for a good fifteen minutes, settling on a design of his own imagination—he couldn’t give the ladies any attention beyond a few long stares. This kind of attention made Elinor remember a man whose presence and face were utterly forgettable, even though he was dressed in the latest fashion.
Marianne was spared from the troublesome feelings of contempt and resentment, on this impertinent examination of their features, and on the puppyism of his manner in deciding on all the different horrors of the different toothpick-cases presented to his inspection, by remaining unconscious of it all; for she was as well able to collect her thoughts within herself, and be as ignorant of what was passing around her, in Mr. Gray's shop, as in her own bedroom.
Marianne avoided the annoying feelings of contempt and resentment during this rude assessment of their looks, and the childishness of his behavior while he judged the various horrors of the toothpick cases presented to him, simply by being unaware of it all; she could gather her thoughts just as well inside her own mind and be just as oblivious to what was happening around her in Mr. Gray's shop as she was in her own bedroom.
At last the affair was decided. The ivory, the gold, and the pearls, all received their appointment, and the gentleman having named the last day on which his existence could be continued without the possession of the toothpick-case, drew on his gloves with leisurely care, and bestowing another glance on the Miss Dashwoods, but such a one as seemed rather to demand than express admiration, walked off with a happy air of real conceit and affected indifference.
At last, the situation was settled. The ivory, gold, and pearls all had their assignments, and the gentleman, having specified the final day he could go on without the toothpick case, put on his gloves with relaxed attention. He cast another look at the Miss Dashwoods—one that seemed to request admiration rather than show it—and walked away with a confident sense of self-importance and feigned indifference.
Elinor lost no time in bringing her business forward, was on the point of concluding it, when another gentleman presented himself at her side. She turned her eyes towards his face, and found him with some surprise to be her brother.
Elinor wasted no time advancing her business and was about to finalize it when another man appeared beside her. She looked at his face and was surprised to find it was her brother.
Their affection and pleasure in meeting was just enough to make a very creditable appearance in Mr. Gray's shop. John Dashwood was really far from being sorry to see his sisters again; [194]it rather gave them satisfaction; and his inquiries after their mother were respectful and attentive.
Their fondness for each other and the joy of meeting was just enough to create a positive impression in Mr. Gray's shop. John Dashwood was genuinely not sorry to see his sisters again; [194] instead, it pleased them, and his questions about their mother were considerate and attentive.
Elinor found that he and Fanny had been in town two days.
Elinor discovered that he and Fanny had been in town for two days.
"I wished very much to call upon you yesterday," said he, "but it was impossible, for we were obliged to take Harry to see the wild beasts at Exeter Exchange; and we spent the rest of the day with Mrs. Ferrars. Harry was vastly pleased. This morning I had fully intended to call on you, if I could possibly find a spare half hour, but one has always so much to do on first coming to town. I am come here to bespeak Fanny a seal. But tomorrow I think I shall certainly be able to call in Berkeley Street, and be introduced to your friend Mrs. Jennings. I understand she is a woman of very good fortune. And the Middletons too, you must introduce me to them. As my mother-in-law's relations, I shall be happy to show them every respect. They are excellent neighbours to you in the country, I understand."
"I really wanted to visit you yesterday," he said, "but it was impossible since we had to take Harry to see the animals at Exeter Exchange; then we spent the rest of the day with Mrs. Ferrars. Harry was really happy. This morning, I fully planned to stop by if I could find even half an hour, but there’s always so much to do when you first arrive in town. I've come here to order a seal for Fanny. However, I think I can definitely drop by Berkeley Street tomorrow and meet your friend Mrs. Jennings. I hear she’s doing quite well financially. And you must introduce me to the Middletons too. Since they’re related to my mother-in-law, I’d be glad to show them every respect. I understand they’re great neighbors to you in the country."
"Excellent indeed. Their attention to our comfort, their friendliness in every particular, is more than I can express."
"Absolutely wonderful. Their focus on our comfort and their friendliness in every detail is more than I can express."
"I am extremely glad to hear it, upon my word; extremely glad indeed. But so it ought to be; they are people of large fortune, they are related to you, and every civility and accommodation that can serve to make your situation pleasant might be reasonably expected. And so you are most comfortably settled in your little cottage and want for nothing! Edward brought us a most charming account of the place: the most complete thing of its kind, he said, that ever was, and you all seemed to enjoy it beyond any thing. It was a great satisfaction to us to hear it, I assure you."
"I’m really glad to hear that, I truly am. But it makes sense; they have a lot of money, they’re related to you, and it’s reasonable to expect any kindness and help that can make your situation nice. So, you’re all comfortably settled in your little cottage and don’t lack for anything! Edward gave us a wonderful description of the place: he said it was the best of its kind ever, and it sounded like you all enjoyed it immensely. It was very satisfying for us to hear this, I promise you."
Elinor did feel a little ashamed of her brother; and was not sorry to be spared the necessity of answering him, by the arrival of Mrs. Jennings's servant, who came to tell her that his mistress waited for them at the door.
Elinor felt a bit embarrassed by her brother and was relieved not to have to respond to him, thanks to the arrival of Mrs. Jennings's servant, who came to inform her that his mistress was waiting for them at the door.
Mr. Dashwood attended them down stairs, was introduced to Mrs. Jennings at the door of her carriage, and repeating his hope of being able to call on them the next day, took leave.
Mr. Dashwood escorted them downstairs, was introduced to Mrs. Jennings at the door of her carriage, and, expressing his hope of being able to visit them the next day, said goodbye.
His visit was duly paid. He came with a pretence at an apology from their sister-in-law, for not coming too; "but she was so much engaged with her mother, that really she had no leisure for going any where." Mrs. Jennings, however, assured him directly, that she should not stand upon ceremony, for they were [196]all cousins, or something like it, and she should certainly wait on Mrs. John Dashwood very soon, and bring her sisters to see her. His manners to them, though calm, were perfectly kind; to Mrs. Jennings, most attentively civil; and on Colonel Brandon's coming in soon after himself, he eyed him with a curiosity which seemed to say, that he only wanted to know him to be rich, to be equally civil to him.
His visit was properly made. He came with a pretense of an apology from their sister-in-law for not coming too; “but she was so busy with her mother that she really had no time to go anywhere.” Mrs. Jennings, however, promptly told him that she wouldn't stand on ceremony, since they were [196] all cousins or something like that, and she would definitely visit Mrs. John Dashwood very soon and bring her sisters to see her. His demeanor towards them, though calm, was completely kind; towards Mrs. Jennings, he was very attentive and polite; and when Colonel Brandon came in shortly after him, he looked at him with a curiosity that seemed to say he just wanted to know him to be rich so he could be equally polite to him.
After staying with them half an hour, he asked Elinor to walk with him to Conduit Street, and introduce him to Sir John and Lady Middleton. The weather was remarkably fine, and she readily consented. As soon as they were out of the house, his enquiries began.
After spending half an hour with them, he asked Elinor to walk with him to Conduit Street and introduce him to Sir John and Lady Middleton. The weather was really nice, and she happily agreed. As soon as they left the house, he started asking questions.
"Who is Colonel Brandon? Is he a man of fortune?"
"Who is Colonel Brandon? Is he wealthy?"
"Yes; he has very good property in Dorsetshire."
"Yeah; he has some really great property in Dorsetshire."
"I am glad of it. He seems a most gentlemanlike man; and I think, Elinor, I may congratulate you on the prospect of a very respectable establishment in life."
"I'm really glad to hear that. He seems like a true gentleman; and I think, Elinor, I can congratulate you on the prospect of having a very respectable life ahead."
"Me, brother! what do you mean?"
"Me, brother! What do you mean?"
"He likes you. I observed him narrowly, and am convinced of it. What is the amount of his fortune?"
"He likes you. I watched him closely and I'm convinced of it. How much money does he have?"
"I believe about two thousand a year."
"I think around two thousand a year."
"Two thousand a-year;" and then working himself up to a pitch of enthusiastic generosity, he added, "Elinor, I wish with all my heart it were twice as much, for your sake."
"Two thousand a year;" and then, getting really into a moment of generous enthusiasm, he added, "Elinor, I truly wish it were twice as much, for you."
"Indeed I believe you," replied Elinor; "but I am very sure that Colonel Brandon has not the smallest wish of marrying me.
"Honestly, I believe you," replied Elinor; "but I’m quite sure that Colonel Brandon has no desire to marry me.
"You are mistaken, Elinor; you are very much mistaken. A very little trouble on your side secures him. Perhaps just at present he may be undecided; the smallness of your fortune may make him hang back; his friends may all advise him against it. But some of those little attentions and encouragements which ladies can so easily give will fix him, in spite of himself. And there can be no reason why you should not try for him. It is not to be supposed that any prior attachment on your side—in short, you know as to an attachment of that kind, it is quite out of the question, the objections are insurmountable—you have too much sense not to see all that. Colonel Brandon must be the man; and no civility shall be wanting on my part to make him pleased with you and your family. It is a match that must give universal satisfaction. In[197] short, it is a kind of thing that," lowering his voice to an important whisper, "will be exceedingly welcome to all parties." Recollecting himself, however, he added, "That is, I mean to say—your friends are all truly anxious to see you well settled; Fanny particularly, for she has your interest very much at heart, I assure you. And her mother too, Mrs. Ferrars, a very good-natured woman, I am sure it would give her great pleasure; she said as much the other day."
"You’re wrong, Elinor; you’re really mistaken. A little effort from you can secure him. He might seem unsure right now; your small fortune might make him hesitate; his friends may be advising against it. But with just a few little gestures and encouragement that women can easily provide, you can win him over, without him even realizing it. There’s no reason you shouldn’t go for him. It’s not like you have any previous attachments—let’s be honest, those kinds of attachments are completely out of the question; the obstacles are too great—you’re sensible enough to see that. Colonel Brandon should be the one; I’ll make sure to do everything I can to help him appreciate you and your family. It's a match that will surely please everyone. In[197] short, it’s exactly the kind of thing that," lowering his voice to a dramatic whisper, "will be extremely welcome to all parties." Gathering himself, he added, "That is, what I mean is—your friends are all genuinely eager to see you well taken care of; Fanny particularly, because she genuinely cares about your happiness, I assure you. And her mother, Mrs. Ferrars, is a very kind woman; I’m sure it would bring her a lot of joy; she mentioned it just the other day."
Elinor would not vouchsafe any answer.
Elinor wouldn’t respond.
"It would be something remarkable, now," he continued, "something droll, if Fanny should have a brother and I a sister settling at the same time. And yet it is not very unlikely."
"It would be something amazing now," he continued, "something amusing, if Fanny had a brother and I had a sister settling down at the same time. And yet, it's not very unlikely."
"Is Mr. Edward Ferrars," said Elinor, with resolution, "going to be married?"
"Is Mr. Edward Ferrars," Elinor said firmly, "going to get married?"
"It is not actually settled, but there is such a thing in agitation. He has a most excellent mother. Mrs. Ferrars, with the utmost liberality, will come forward, and settle on him a thousand a year, if the match takes place. The lady is the Hon. Miss Morton, only daughter of the late Lord Morton, with thirty thousand pounds. A very desirable connection on both sides, and I have not a doubt of its taking place in time. A thousand a-year is a great deal for a mother to give away, to make over for ever; but Mrs. Ferrars has a noble spirit. To give you another instance of her liberality:—The other day, as soon as we came to town, aware that money could not be very plenty with us just now, she put bank-notes into Fanny's hands to the amount of two hundred pounds. And extremely acceptable it is, for we must live at a great expense while we are here."
"It’s not really settled yet, but there’s definitely something in the works. He has a wonderful mother. Mrs. Ferrars, being extremely generous, will give him a thousand a year if the engagement happens. The lady is the Hon. Miss Morton, the only daughter of the late Lord Morton, and has a dowry of thirty thousand pounds. It’s a very desirable connection on both sides, and I’m completely confident it will happen in due time. A thousand a year is a significant amount for a mother to give away permanently, but Mrs. Ferrars has a big heart. To give you another example of her generosity: the other day, as soon as we arrived in town and knowing that money might be tight for us right now, she handed Fanny banknotes totaling two hundred pounds. It’s extremely welcome because we have to spend a lot while we’re here."
He paused for her assent and compassion; and she forced herself to say—
He paused, waiting for her agreement and understanding; and she made herself say—
"Your expenses both in town and country must certainly be considerable; but your income is a large one."
"Your expenses in both the city and the countryside must be significant; however, your income is substantial."
"Not so large, I dare say, as many people suppose. I do not mean to complain, however; it is undoubtedly a comfortable one, and I hope will in time be better. The enclosure of Norland Common, now carrying on, is a most serious drain. And then I have made a little purchase within this half year; East Kingham Farm, you must remember the place, where old Gibson used to live. The land was so very desirable for[198] me in every respect, so immediately adjoining my own property, that I felt it my duty to buy it. I could not have answered it to my conscience to let it fall into any other hands. A man must pay for his convenience; and it has cost me a vast deal of money."
"Not as big as many people think, I must say. I’m not complaining, though; it’s definitely comfortable, and I hope it will improve over time. The enclosure of Norland Common, which is currently underway, is a serious financial burden. Plus, I made a small purchase in the last six months; East Kingham Farm, you remember that place where old Gibson used to live. The land was extremely desirable for [198] me in every way since it’s right next to my own property, so I felt it was my responsibility to buy it. I couldn’t let it end up in someone else’s hands. A person has to pay for convenience, and it has cost me a lot of money."
"More than you think it really and intrinsically worth."
"More than you think it’s truly and fundamentally worth."
"Why, I hope not that. I might have sold it again, the next day, for more than I gave: but, with regard to the purchase-money, I might have been very unfortunate indeed; for the stocks were at that time so low, that if I had not happened to have the necessary sum in my banker's hands, I must have sold out to very great loss."
"Well, I hope not. I could've sold it again the next day for more than I paid, but when it comes to the money I used to buy it, I could have been really unlucky; the stocks were so low at that time that if I hadn’t had the right amount in my bank, I would have had to sell at a big loss."
Elinor could only smile.
Elinor could only smile.
"Other great and inevitable expenses too we have had on first coming to Norland. Our respected father, as you well know, bequeathed all the Stanhill effects that remained at Norland (and very valuable they were) to your mother. Far be it from me to repine at his doing so; he had an undoubted right to dispose of his own property as he chose, but, in consequence of it, we have been obliged to make large purchases of linen, china, &c. to supply the place of what was taken away. You may guess, after all these expenses, how very far we must be from being rich, and how acceptable Mrs. Ferrars's kindness is."
"Additional significant and unavoidable expenses have come up since we first arrived at Norland. As you know, our respected father left all the Stanhill belongings that were still at Norland (and they were quite valuable) to your mother. I would never complain about his decision; he had every right to manage his property as he saw fit. However, as a result, we’ve had to buy a lot of linen, china, and other items to replace what was taken. You can imagine, after all these expenses, how far we are from being rich, and how much we appreciate Mrs. Ferrars's generosity."
"Certainly," said Elinor; "and assisted by her liberality, I hope you may yet live to be in easy circumstances."
"Of course," said Elinor; "and with her generosity, I hope you’ll still be able to live comfortably."
"Another year or two may do much towards it," he gravely replied; "but however there is still a great deal to be done. There is not a stone laid of Fanny's green-house, and nothing but the plan of the flower-garden marked out."
"Another year or two might help a lot," he replied seriously; "but there’s still a lot to do. Not a single stone has been laid for Fanny's greenhouse, and the only thing set is the outline of the flower garden."
"Where is the green-house to be?"
"Where is the greenhouse going to be?"
"Upon the knoll behind the house. The old walnut trees are all come down to make room for it. It will be a very fine object from many parts of the park, and the flower-garden will slope down just before it, and be exceedingly pretty. We have cleared away all the old thorns that grew in patches over the brow."
"On the hill behind the house, all the old walnut trees have been cut down to make space for it. It’s going to look really impressive from many areas of the park, and the flower garden will slope down right in front of it, making for a beautiful view. We have cleared away all the old thorn bushes that were growing in patches along the top."
Elinor kept her concern and her censure to herself; and was very thankful that Marianne was not present, to share the provocation.
Elinor kept her worries and criticism to herself and was really grateful that Marianne wasn't there to experience the annoyance.
Having now said enough to make his poverty clear, and to[199] do away the necessity of buying a pair of ear-rings for each of his sisters, in his next visit at Gray's, his thoughts took a cheerfuller turn, and he began to congratulate Elinor on having such a friend as Mrs. Jennings.
Having made his financial situation clear enough to[199] avoid the need to buy a pair of earrings for each of his sisters, during his next visit to Gray's, his thoughts brightened, and he started to congratulate Elinor for having a friend like Mrs. Jennings.
"She seems a most valuable woman indeed—Her house, her style of living, all bespeak an exceeding good income; and it is an acquaintance that has not only been of great use to you hitherto, but in the end may prove materially advantageous. Her inviting you to town is certainly a vast thing in your favour; and indeed, it speaks altogether so great a regard for you, that in all probability when she dies you will not be forgotten. She must have a great deal to leave."
"She really seems like a very valuable woman—Her home and lifestyle clearly reflect a very good income; and this relationship has not only been beneficial to you so far, but it may also turn out to be very advantageous in the future. Her inviting you to the city is definitely a huge plus for you; and honestly, it shows such a strong affection for you that it’s likely you won't be forgotten when she passes away. She must have a lot to leave behind."
"Nothing at all, I should rather suppose; for she has only her jointure, which will descend to her children."
"Nothing at all, I guess; because she only has her inheritance, which will go to her kids."
"But it is not to be imagined that she lives up to her income. Few people of common prudence will do that; and whatever she saves, she will be able to dispose of."
"But you can't assume that she lives within her means. Not many sensible people would do that; and whatever she saves, she'll be able to manage."
"And do you not think it more likely that she should leave it to her daughters, than to us?"
"And don’t you think it's more likely that she would leave it to her daughters rather than to us?"
"Her daughters are both exceedingly well married, and therefore I cannot perceive the necessity of her remembering them farther. Whereas, in my opinion, by her taking so much notice of you, and treating you in this kind of way, she has given you a sort of claim on her future consideration, which a conscientious woman would not disregard. Nothing can be kinder than her behaviour; and she can hardly do all this, without being aware of the expectation it raises."
"Her daughters are both happily married, so I don’t see why she needs to think about them anymore. However, I believe that by paying you so much attention and treating you this way, she has created a kind of expectation for her future regard that a decent woman wouldn’t overlook. Her behavior is incredibly kind, and she can’t be unaware of the expectations it creates."
"But she raises none in those most concerned. Indeed, brother, your anxiety for our welfare and prosperity carries you too far."
"But she doesn’t raise any concerns with those most affected. Honestly, brother, your worry for our well-being and success is a bit excessive."
"Why, to be sure," said he, seeming to recollect himself, "people have little, have very little in their power. But, my dear Elinor, what is the matter with Marianne?—she looks very unwell, has lost her colour, and is grown quite thin. Is she ill?"
"Of course," he said, appearing to gather his thoughts, "people have very little control over their lives. But, my dear Elinor, what's wrong with Marianne? She looks really unwell, has lost her color, and has become quite thin. Is she sick?"
"She is not well, she has had a nervous complaint on her for several weeks."
"She’s not feeling well; she’s been dealing with anxiety issues for several weeks."
"I am sorry for that. At her time of life, any thing of an illness destroys the bloom for ever! Her's has been a very short one! She was as handsome a girl last September, as I ever saw; and as likely to attract the man. There[200] was something in her style of beauty, to please them particularly. I remember Fanny used to say that she would marry sooner and better than you did; not but what she is exceedingly fond of you, but so it happened to strike her. She will be mistaken, however. I question whether Marianne now, will marry a man worth more than five or six hundred a-year, at the utmost, and I am very much deceived if you do not do better. Dorsetshire! I know very little of Dorsetshire; but, my dear Elinor, I shall be exceedingly glad to know more of it; and I think I can answer for your having Fanny and myself among the earliest and best pleased of your visitors."
"I'm really sorry about that. At her age, any kind of illness can ruin someone's youthful charm forever! Hers was especially brief! She was as beautiful last September as I've ever seen; definitely someone who could attract a man. There[200] was something about her beauty that particularly appealed to them. I remember Fanny used to say she would marry sooner and better than you did; not that she doesn't care deeply for you, but that was just how she felt. However, she’ll be wrong. I doubt Marianne now will marry a man who earns more than five or six hundred a year, at most, and I’d be very surprised if you don’t do better. Dorsetshire! I don't know much about Dorsetshire, but dear Elinor, I would be very happy to learn more; and I can assure you that Fanny and I will be among your earliest and most enthusiastic visitors."
Elinor tried very seriously to convince him that there was no likelihood of her marrying Colonel Brandon; but it was an expectation of too much pleasure to himself to be relinquished, and he was really resolved on seeking an intimacy with that gentleman, and promoting the marriage by every possible attention. He had just compunction enough for having done nothing for his sisters himself, to be exceedingly anxious that everybody else should do a great deal; and an offer from Colonel Brandon, or a legacy from Mrs. Jennings, was the easiest means of atoning for his own neglect.
Elinor seriously tried to convince him that there was no chance she would marry Colonel Brandon; however, it was too much of a pleasure for him to let go of, and he was truly determined to get closer to that guy and support the marriage with every possible gesture. He felt just enough guilt for not doing anything for his sisters himself to be extremely eager for everyone else to do a lot. An offer from Colonel Brandon or a bequest from Mrs. Jennings would be the simplest way to make up for his own neglect.
They were lucky enough to find Lady Middleton at home, and Sir John came in before their visit ended. Abundance of civilities passed on all sides. Sir John was ready to like anybody, and though Mr. Dashwood did not seem to know much about horses, he soon set him down as a very good-natured fellow: while Lady Middleton saw enough of fashion in his appearance to think his acquaintance worth having; and Mr. Dashwood went away delighted with both.
They were fortunate to find Lady Middleton at home, and Sir John arrived before their visit was over. There were plenty of polite exchanges all around. Sir John was quick to like anyone, and even though Mr. Dashwood didn’t seem to know much about horses, he quickly regarded him as a really nice guy. Meanwhile, Lady Middleton noticed enough style in his appearance to consider him worth knowing, and Mr. Dashwood left feeling very pleased with both of them.
"I shall have a charming account to carry to Fanny," said he, as he walked back with his sister. "Lady Middleton is really a most elegant woman! Such a woman as I am sure Fanny will be glad to know. And Mrs. Jennings too, an exceedingly well-behaved woman, though not so elegant as her daughter. Your sister need not have any scruple even of visiting her, which, to say the truth, has been a little the case, and very naturally; for we only knew that Mrs. Jennings was the widow of a man who had got all his money in a low way; and Fanny and Mrs. Ferrars were both strongly prepossessed,[201] that neither she nor her daughters were such kind of women as Fanny would like to associate with. But now I can carry her a most satisfactory account of both."
"I have a great story to share with Fanny," he said as he walked back with his sister. "Lady Middleton is truly an elegant woman! I know Fanny will be happy to meet her. And Mrs. Jennings too, a very well-mannered woman, though not as sophisticated as her daughter. Your sister shouldn’t feel any hesitation about visiting her, which has been a bit of an issue, and understandably so; we only knew that Mrs. Jennings was the widow of a man who made his money in a questionable way. Fanny and Mrs. Ferrars both had strong feelings that neither she nor her daughters were the type of women Fanny would want to associate with. But now I can tell her a very positive story about both."
CHAPTER XXXIV
Mrs. John Dashwood had so much confidence in her husband's judgment, that she waited the very next day both on Mrs. Jennings and her daughter; and her confidence was rewarded by finding even the former, even the woman with whom her sisters were staying, by no means unworthy her notice; and as for Lady Middleton, she found her one of the most charming women in the world!
Mrs. John Dashwood had so much faith in her husband's judgment that she visited both Mrs. Jennings and her daughter the very next day. Her confidence paid off when she discovered that even Mrs. Jennings, the woman her sisters were staying with, was quite worthy of her attention. As for Lady Middleton, she considered her one of the most delightful women in the world!
Lady Middleton was equally pleased with Mrs. Dashwood. There was a kind of cold hearted selfishness on both sides, which mutually attracted them; and they sympathised with each other in an insipid propriety of demeanor, and a general want of understanding.
Lady Middleton was just as pleased with Mrs. Dashwood. There was a sort of cold-hearted selfishness on both sides that drew them to each other; they connected over their bland politeness and a shared lack of understanding.
The same manners, however, which recommended Mrs. John Dashwood to the good opinion of Lady Middleton did not suit the fancy of Mrs. Jennings, and to her she appeared nothing more than a little proud-looking woman of uncordial address, who met her husband's sisters without any affection, and almost without having anything to say to them; for of the quarter of an hour bestowed on Berkeley Street, she sat at least seven minutes and a half in silence.
The same manners that impressed Mrs. John Dashwood on Lady Middleton, however, didn't appeal to Mrs. Jennings. To her, Mrs. Dashwood just seemed like a somewhat proud woman with a cold demeanor, who greeted her husband’s sisters without warmth and hardly had anything to say to them. Out of the fifteen minutes spent on Berkeley Street, she sat in silence for at least seven and a half minutes.
Elinor wanted very much to know, though she did not choose to ask, whether Edward was then in town; but nothing would have induced Fanny voluntarily to mention his name before her, till able to tell her that his marriage with Miss Morton was resolved on, or till her husband's expectations on Colonel Brandon were answered; because she believed them still so very much attached to each other, that they could not be too sedulously divided in word and deed on every occasion. The intelligence however, which she would not give, soon flowed from another quarter. Lucy came very shortly to claim Elinor's compassion on being unable to see Edward, though he had arrived in town with Mr. and Mrs.[202] Dashwood. He dared not come to Bartlett's Buildings for fear of detection, and though their mutual impatience to meet, was not to be told, they could do nothing at present but write.
Elinor was really eager to know, even though she didn’t want to ask, whether Edward was in town at that moment; but nothing would make Fanny bring up his name in front of her until she could tell her that his marriage to Miss Morton was set, or until her husband’s hopes regarding Colonel Brandon were fulfilled. Fanny still believed they were very much attached to each other, so she thought it was best to keep their lives carefully separate in every way. However, the information that she wouldn’t share soon came from another source. Lucy quickly showed up to seek Elinor’s sympathy for not being able to see Edward, even though he had come to town with Mr. and Mrs.[202] Dashwood. He was too afraid to go to Bartlett’s Buildings for fear of being discovered, and even though they both desperately wanted to meet, they could only write to each other for now.
Edward assured them himself of his being in town, within a very short time, by twice calling in Berkeley Street. Twice was his card found on the table, when they returned from their morning's engagements. Elinor was pleased that he had called; and still more pleased that she had missed him.
Edward personally confirmed that he was in town shortly afterward by stopping by Berkeley Street twice. Both times, his card was found on the table when they returned from their morning activities. Elinor was happy that he had visited; and even happier that she had missed him.
The Dashwoods were so prodigiously delighted with the Middletons, that, though not much in the habit of giving anything, they determined to give them—a dinner; and soon after their acquaintance began, invited them to dine in Harley Street, where they had taken a very good house for three months. Their sisters and Mrs. Jennings were invited likewise, and John Dashwood was careful to secure Colonel Brandon, who, always glad to be where the Miss Dashwoods were, received his eager civilities with some surprise, but much more pleasure. They were to meet Mrs. Ferrars; but Elinor could not learn whether her sons were to be of the party. The expectation of seeing her, however, was enough to make her interested in the engagement; for though she could now meet Edward's mother without that strong anxiety which had once promised to attend such an introduction, though she could now see her with perfect indifference as to her opinion of herself, her desire of being in company with Mrs. Ferrars, her curiosity to know what she was like, was as lively as ever.
The Dashwoods were incredibly happy with the Middletons that, even though they weren't in the habit of giving much, they decided to host them for dinner. Soon after they got to know each other, they invited them to dine at their new home in Harley Street, where they had rented a great house for three months. Their sisters and Mrs. Jennings were invited too, and John Dashwood made sure to bring along Colonel Brandon, who was always happy to be around the Dashwood sisters. He accepted John’s enthusiastic politeness with some surprise but a lot more pleasure. They were going to meet Mrs. Ferrars, but Elinor couldn't find out if her sons would be there. Still, the thought of seeing her was enough to make her interested in the event. Even though she could now meet Edward's mother without the intense anxiety she once felt about such an introduction and could now see her without worrying about what she thought of her, her wish to be in Mrs. Ferrars' company and her curiosity to know what she was like was as strong as ever.
The interest with which she thus anticipated the party, was soon afterwards increased, more powerfully than pleasantly, by her hearing that the Miss Steeles were also to be at it.
The excitement she felt about the party quickly grew, though not in a pleasant way, when she heard that the Miss Steeles would also be attending.
So well had they recommended themselves to Lady Middleton, so agreeable had their assiduities made them to her, that though Lucy was certainly not so elegant, and her sister not even genteel, she was as ready as Sir John to ask them to spend a week or two in Conduit Street; and it happened to be particularly convenient to the Miss Steeles, as soon as the Dashwoods' invitation was known, that their visit should begin a few days before the party took place.
They had impressed Lady Middleton so much and had been so charming to her that, although Lucy wasn’t really elegant and her sister wasn’t even classy, she was just as eager as Sir John to invite them to spend a week or two in Conduit Street. It turned out to be especially convenient for the Miss Steeles that their visit would start a few days before the Dashwoods' party was set to take place.
Their claims to the notice of Mrs. John Dashwood, as the[203] nieces of the gentleman who for many years had had the care of her brother, might not have done much, however, towards procuring them seats at her table; but as Lady Middleton's guests they must be welcome; and Lucy, who had long wanted to be personally known to the family, to have a nearer view of their characters and her own difficulties, and to have an opportunity of endeavouring to please them, had seldom been happier in her life, than she was on receiving Mrs. John Dashwood's card.
Their attempts to get the attention of Mrs. John Dashwood, as the nieces of the man who had looked after her brother for many years, probably wouldn’t have done much to secure them spots at her table; but as guests of Lady Middleton, they were sure to be welcomed. Lucy, who had longed to personally connect with the family, get a closer look at their personalities, understand her own challenges, and try to win them over, had rarely been happier in her life than when she received Mrs. John Dashwood's invitation.
On Elinor its effect was very different. She began immediately to determine, that Edward who lived with his mother, must be asked as his mother was, to a party given by his sister; and to see him for the first time, after all that passed, in the company of Lucy!—she hardly knew how she could bear it!
On Elinor, it had a completely different effect. She immediately decided that Edward, who lived with his mother, needed to be invited, just like his mother, to a party thrown by his sister; and to see him for the first time, after everything that had happened, alongside Lucy!—she barely knew how she would handle it!
These apprehensions, perhaps, were not founded entirely on reason, and certainly not at all on truth. They were relieved however, not by her own recollection, but by the good will of Lucy, who believed herself to be inflicting a severe disappointment when she told her that Edward certainly would not be in Harley Street on Tuesday, and even hoped to be carrying the pain still farther by persuading her that he was kept away by the extreme affection for herself, which he could not conceal when they were together.
These worries weren't entirely based on reason, and definitely not on truth. However, they were eased not by her own memories, but by Lucy's kindness, who thought she was delivering a big letdown when she told her that Edward definitely wouldn’t be in Harley Street on Tuesday, and even hoped to add to the hurt by convincing her that he was staying away because of his deep affection for her, which he couldn't hide when they were together.
The important Tuesday came that was to introduce the two young ladies to this formidable mother-in-law.
The important Tuesday arrived that would introduce the two young women to this intimidating mother-in-law.
"Pity me, dear Miss Dashwood!" said Lucy, as they walked up the stairs together—for the Middletons arrived so directly after Mrs. Jennings, that they all followed the servant at the same time—"There is nobody here but you, that can feel for me. I declare I can hardly stand. Good gracious!—In a moment I shall see the person that all my happiness depends on—that is to be my mother!"—
"Pity me, dear Miss Dashwood!" Lucy said as they walked up the stairs together—since the Middletons arrived just after Mrs. Jennings, they all followed the servant simultaneously—"There's no one here but you who can understand how I feel. I swear I can barely keep it together. Good heavens! In a moment, I’m going to see the person on whom all my happiness depends—who is going to be my mother!"
Elinor could have given her immediate relief by suggesting the possibility of its being Miss Morton's mother, rather than her own, whom they were about to behold; but instead of doing that, she assured her, and with great sincerity, that she did pity her—to the utter amazement of Lucy, who, though really uncomfortable herself, hoped at least to be an object of irrepressible envy to Elinor.
Elinor could have quickly eased her mind by suggesting that it might be Miss Morton's mother, not her own, that they were about to see; but instead, she sincerely assured her that she truly felt sorry for her—much to Lucy's surprise, who, despite feeling uncomfortable herself, still hoped to be someone Elinor envied unreservedly.
Mrs. Ferrars was a little, thin woman, upright, even to[204] formality, in her figure, and serious, even to sourness, in her aspect. Her complexion was sallow; and her features small, without beauty, and naturally without expression; but a lucky contraction of the brow had rescued her countenance from the disgrace of insipidity, by giving it the strong characters of pride and ill nature. She was not a woman of many words; for, unlike people in general, she proportioned them to the number of her ideas; and of the few syllables that did escape her, not one fell to the share of Miss Dashwood, whom she eyed with the spirited determination of disliking her at all events.
Mrs. Ferrars was a short, thin woman who stood upright, almost to the point of formality, in her posture, and had a serious demeanor that bordered on sourness. Her complexion was sallow; her features were small, lacking beauty and naturally expressionless; but a fortunate furrow of her brow had saved her face from being bland by giving it strong traits of pride and unpleasantness. She wasn't someone who spoke much; unlike most people, she only used as many words as she had ideas. Of the few words that did come out, none were directed toward Miss Dashwood, whom she regarded with a determined dislike.
Elinor could not now be made unhappy by this behaviour. A few months ago it would have hurt her exceedingly; but it was not in Mrs. Ferrars' power to distress her by it now; and the difference of her manners to the Miss Steeles, a difference which seemed purposely made to humble her more, only amused her. She could not but smile to see the graciousness of both mother and daughter towards the very person—for Lucy was particularly distinguished—whom of all others, had they known as much as she did, they would have been most anxious to mortify; while she herself, who had comparatively no power to wound them, sat pointedly slighted by both. But while she smiled at a graciousness so misapplied, she could not reflect on the mean-spirited folly from which it sprung, nor observe the studied attentions with which the Miss Steeles courted its continuance, without thoroughly despising them all four.
Elinor could not now be made unhappy by this behavior. A few months ago, it would have hurt her deeply; but it was no longer in Mrs. Ferrars' power to upset her, and the way she treated the Miss Steeles—a difference that seemed intentionally made to belittle Elinor—only amused her. She couldn't help but smile at the kindness shown by both mother and daughter toward the very person—Lucy, in particular—whom they would have been most eager to embarrass, had they known as much as she did. Meanwhile, Elinor, who had relatively little power to hurt them, was being blatantly ignored by both. However, while she smiled at a kindness so misdirected, she couldn’t ignore the petty foolishness from which it came, nor could she miss the careful attention the Miss Steeles gave to keep it going, without thoroughly despising all four of them.
Lucy was all exultation on being so honorably distinguished; and Miss Steele wanted only to be teased about Dr. Davies to be perfectly happy.
Lucy was overjoyed to receive such an honorable distinction, and Miss Steele just needed to be playfully teased about Dr. Davies to be completely happy.
The dinner was a grand one, the servants were numerous, and every thing bespoke the Mistress's inclination for show, and the Master's ability to support it. In spite of the improvements and additions which were making to the Norland estate, and in spite of its owner having once been within some thousand pounds of being obliged to sell out at a loss, nothing gave any symptom of that indigence which he had tried to infer from it; no poverty of any kind, except of conversation, appeared; but there, the deficiency was considerable. John Dashwood had not much to say for himself that was worth hearing, and his wife had still less. But there was no peculiar[205] disgrace in this; for it was very much the case with the chief of their visitors, who almost all laboured under one or other of these disqualifications for being agreeable—Want of sense, either natural or improved—want of elegance—want of spirits—or want of temper.
The dinner was impressive, the staff was plentiful, and everything showed the Mistress’s love for show, along with the Master’s ability to provide it. Despite the renovations and improvements being made to the Norland estate, and even though its owner had once come close to needing to sell at a loss, nothing suggested the financial struggles he tried to hint at; there was no sign of poverty at all, except in conversation, where the lack was significant. John Dashwood didn’t have much to contribute that was worth listening to, and his wife had even less. But there was nothing particularly embarrassing about that; most of their guests shared similar shortcomings—either a lack of sense, natural or otherwise—lack of elegance—lack of energy—or lack of good temper.
When the ladies withdrew to the drawing-room after dinner, this poverty was particularly evident, for the gentlemen had supplied the discourse with some variety—the variety of politics, inclosing land, and breaking horses—but then it was all over; and one subject only engaged the ladies till coffee came in, which was the comparative heights of Harry Dashwood, and Lady Middleton's second son William, who were nearly of the same age.
When the women went to the drawing-room after dinner, the lack of conversation was especially clear, since the men had added some variety to the discussion—talking about politics, land enclosure, and breaking horses—but once that was done, there was only one topic keeping the women engaged until coffee arrived: comparing the heights of Harry Dashwood and Lady Middleton's second son, William, who were almost the same age.
Had both the children been there, the affair might have been determined too easily by measuring them at once; but as Harry only was present, it was all conjectural assertion on both sides; and every body had a right to be equally positive in their opinion, and to repeat it over and over again as often as they liked.
Had both children been there, the situation might have been resolved too easily by measuring them at once; but since only Harry was present, it was all speculation on both sides, and everyone had the right to be equally sure of their opinion and to repeat it as often as they liked.
The parties stood thus:—
The parties stood like this:—
The two mothers, though each really convinced that her own son was the tallest, politely decided in favour of the other. The two grandmothers, with not less partiality, but more sincerity, were equally earnest in support of their own descendant.
The two mothers, each truly believing that her son was the tallest, politely chose to side with the other. The two grandmothers, though just as biased, were more sincere and equally passionate in support of their own grandchild.
Lucy, who was hardly less anxious to please one parent than the other, thought the boys were both remarkably tall for their age, and could not conceive that there could be the smallest difference in the world between them; and Miss Steele, with yet greater address gave it, as fast as she could, in favour of each.
Lucy, who was just as eager to please one parent as the other, thought the boys were both really tall for their age and couldn’t imagine that there was the slightest difference between them; and Miss Steele, with even more skill, quickly shared her opinions in favor of each.
Elinor, having once delivered her opinion on William's side, by which she offended Mrs. Ferrars and Fanny still more, did not see the necessity of enforcing it by any farther assertion; and Marianne, when called on for her's, offended them all, by declaring that she had no opinion to give, as she had never thought about it.
Elinor, having already shared her opinion in favor of William, which upset Mrs. Ferrars and Fanny even more, felt no need to reinforce it with any further comments; and when Marianne was asked for her opinion, she irritated everyone by saying she had none to offer, as she had never given it any thought.
Before her removing from Norland, Elinor had painted a very pretty pair of screens for her sister-in-law, which being now just mounted and brought home, ornamented her present drawing room; and these screens, catching the eye of John[206] Dashwood on his following the other gentlemen into the room, were officiously handed by him to Colonel Brandon for his admiration.
Before her move from Norland, Elinor had painted a beautiful pair of screens for her sister-in-law, which, now properly set up and brought home, decorated her current drawing room. These screens caught the eye of John[206] Dashwood as he followed the other gentlemen into the room and he eagerly handed them to Colonel Brandon for his admiration.
"These are done by my eldest sister," said he; "and you, as a man of taste, will, I dare say, be pleased with them. I do not know whether you have ever happened to see any of her performances before, but she is in general reckoned to draw extremely well."
"These were made by my oldest sister," he said. "And you, as someone with good taste, will probably appreciate them. I’m not sure if you’ve seen any of her work before, but she's generally considered to be a really good artist."
The Colonel, though disclaiming all pretensions to connoisseurship, warmly admired the screens, as he would have done any thing painted by Miss Dashwood; and on the curiosity of the others being of course excited, they were handed round for general inspection. Mrs. Ferrars, not aware of their being Elinor's work, particularly requested to look at them; and after they had received gratifying testimony of Lady Middleton's approbation, Fanny presented them to her mother, considerately informing her, at the same time, that they were done by Miss Dashwood.
The Colonel, while not claiming to be an expert, genuinely admired the screens, just as he would anything painted by Miss Dashwood; and naturally, this piqued the curiosity of the others, so they were passed around for everyone to see. Mrs. Ferrars, unaware that they were Elinor's creations, specifically asked to look at them; and after they received positive feedback from Lady Middleton, Fanny showed them to her mother, thoughtfully mentioning at the same time that they were done by Miss Dashwood.
"Hum"—said Mrs. Ferrars—"very pretty,"—and without regarding them at all, returned them to her daughter.
"Hum," said Mrs. Ferrars, "very pretty," and without paying them any attention, she handed them back to her daughter.
Perhaps Fanny thought for a moment that her mother had been quite rude enough,—for, colouring a little, she immediately said—
Perhaps Fanny thought for a moment that her mom had been pretty rude,—because, blushing a bit, she quickly said—
"They are very pretty, ma'am—an't they?" But then again, the dread of having been too civil, too encouraging herself, probably came over her, for she presently added, "Do you not think they are something in Miss Morton's style of painting, Ma'am?—She does paint most delightfully!—How beautifully her last landscape is done!"
"They're really pretty, aren’t they, ma'am?" But then the fear of having been too polite and too encouraging probably hit her, so she quickly added, "Don’t you think they have a bit of Miss Morton’s painting style, ma'am? She really does paint wonderfully!—Her latest landscape is done so beautifully!"
"Beautifully indeed! But she does every thing well."
"Beautifully indeed! But she does everything well."
Marianne could not bear this. She was already greatly displeased with Mrs. Ferrars; and such ill-timed praise of another, at Elinor's expense, though she had not any notion of what was principally meant by it, provoked her immediately to say with warmth—
Marianne couldn’t stand it. She was already really upset with Mrs. Ferrars; and such poorly timed praise of someone else, especially at Elinor’s expense, even though she had no idea what it was really about, made her quickly respond with passion—
"This is admiration of a very particular kind! what is Miss Morton to us? who knows, or who cares, for her?—it is Elinor of whom we think and speak."
"This is a very specific kind of admiration! What does Miss Morton mean to us? Who knows or who cares about her?—it’s Elinor that we think and talk about."
And so saying, she took the screens out of her sister-in-law's hands, to admire them herself as they ought to be admired.
And with that, she took the screens from her sister-in-law’s hands to appreciate them herself as they deserved to be appreciated.
Mrs. Ferrars looked exceedingly angry, and drawing herself [208]up more stiffly than ever, pronounced in retort this bitter philippic, "Miss Morton is Lord Morton's daughter."
Mrs. Ferrars looked extremely angry, and straightening herself up more stiffly than ever, replied with this harsh remark, "Miss Morton is Lord Morton's daughter."
Fanny looked very angry too, and her husband was all in a fright at his sister's audacity. Elinor was much more hurt by Marianne's warmth than she had been by what produced it; but Colonel Brandon's eyes, as they were fixed on Marianne, declared that he noticed only what was amiable in it, the affectionate heart which could not bear to see a sister slighted in the smallest point.
Fanny looked really angry too, and her husband was totally shocked by his sister's boldness. Elinor was way more upset by Marianne's intensity than she had been by what triggered it; but Colonel Brandon's gaze, as it was focused on Marianne, showed that he only noticed what was kind in it—the loving heart that couldn't stand to see a sister slighted in any way.
Marianne's feelings did not stop here. The cold insolence of Mrs. Ferrars's general behaviour to her sister, seemed, to her, to foretell such difficulties and distresses to Elinor, as her own wounded heart taught her to think of with horror; and urged by a strong impulse of affectionate sensibility, she moved after a moment, to her sister's chair, and putting one arm round her neck, and one cheek close to hers, said in a low, but eager, voice—
Marianne's feelings didn't end there. The cold indifference of Mrs. Ferrars's overall attitude toward her sister seemed to her like a warning of the troubles and pain Elinor would face, which her own hurt heart made her think of with dread. Driven by a powerful sense of caring, she got up after a moment, went to her sister's chair, wrapped one arm around her neck, pressed one cheek against hers, and said in a low but urgent voice—
"Dear, dear Elinor, don't mind them. Don't let them make you unhappy."
"Dear, dear Elinor, don’t pay attention to them. Don’t let them get you down."
She could say no more; her spirits were quite overcome, and hiding her face on Elinor's shoulder, she burst into tears. Every body's attention was called, and almost every body was concerned. Colonel Brandon rose up and went to them without knowing what he did. Mrs. Jennings, with a very intelligent "Ah! poor dear," immediately gave her her salts; and Sir John felt so desperately enraged against the author of this nervous distress, that he instantly changed his seat to one close by Lucy Steele, and gave her, in a whisper, a brief account of the whole shocking affair.
She couldn’t say anything more; she was totally overwhelmed, and taking refuge on Elinor's shoulder, she broke down in tears. Everyone’s attention was drawn to them, and almost everyone was worried. Colonel Brandon stood up and went over to them without even realizing it. Mrs. Jennings, with a sympathetic "Oh! poor thing," quickly offered her some salts; and Sir John felt so furious at the person responsible for this emotional upset that he immediately moved to sit close to Lucy Steele and quietly told her a brief recap of the whole terrible situation.
In a few minutes, however, Marianne was recovered enough to put an end to the bustle, and sit down among the rest; though her spirits retained the impression of what had passed, the whole evening.
In a few minutes, though, Marianne had recovered enough to stop the commotion and join the others; even so, her spirits were still affected by what had happened throughout the entire evening.
"Poor Marianne!" said her brother to Colonel Brandon, in a low voice, as soon as he could secure his attention: "She has not such good health as her sister,—she is very nervous,—she has not Elinor's constitution;—and one must allow that there is something very trying to a young woman who has been a beauty in the loss of her personal attractions. You would not think it perhaps, but Marianne was remarkably handsome a few months ago; quite as handsome as Elinor. Now you see it is all gone."
"Poor Marianne!" her brother said to Colonel Brandon in a low voice as soon as he could get his attention. "She doesn’t have as good health as her sister—she's very anxious—she doesn’t have Elinor's strong constitution. And you have to admit, it’s really difficult for a young woman who used to be beautiful to lose her looks. You might not believe it, but a few months ago, Marianne was stunning; just as pretty as Elinor. Now, you can see it’s all gone."
CHAPTER XXXV
Elinor's curiosity to see Mrs. Ferrars was satisfied. She had found in her every thing that could tend to make a farther connection between the families undesirable. She had seen enough of her pride, her meanness, and her determined prejudice against herself, to comprehend all the difficulties that must have perplexed the engagement, and retarded the marriage, of Edward and herself, had he been otherwise free;—and she had seen almost enough to be thankful for her own sake, that one greater obstacle preserved her from suffering under any other of Mrs. Ferrars's creation, preserved her from all dependence upon her caprice, or any solicitude for her good opinion. Or at least, if she did not bring herself quite to rejoice in Edward's being fettered to Lucy, she determined, that had Lucy been more amiable, she ought to have rejoiced.
Elinor’s curiosity about Mrs. Ferrars was fulfilled. She found everything about her that made any further connection between the families undesirable. She had seen enough of her pride, her meanness, and her strong prejudice against herself to understand all the challenges that must have complicated the engagement and delayed the marriage between Edward and herself, had he been available;—and she had seen nearly enough to be grateful for her own sake that one major obstacle kept her from suffering under any other issue created by Mrs. Ferrars, keeping her free from any dependence on her whims or concerns about her approval. Or at least, even if she couldn’t fully celebrate the fact that Edward was tied to Lucy, she resolved that if Lucy had been more pleasant, she should have been happy about it.
She wondered that Lucy's spirits could be so very much elevated by the civility of Mrs. Ferrars;—that her interest and her vanity should so very much blind her as to make the attention which seemed only paid her because she was not Elinor appear a compliment to herself—or to allow her to derive encouragement from a preference only given her, because her real situation was unknown. But that it was so, had not only been declared by Lucy's eyes at the time, but was declared over again the next morning more openly, for at her particular desire, Lady Middleton set her down in Berkeley Street on the chance of seeing Elinor alone, to tell her how happy she was.
She was surprised that Lucy's mood could be so lifted by Mrs. Ferrars' politeness; that her interests and ego could so completely blind her, making the attention that seemed to be directed at her just because she was not Elinor feel like a compliment to her. It was hard to believe she could find encouragement in a preference given to her simply because her actual situation was unknown. But that was indeed the case, as not only had Lucy's eyes shown it at the time, but it was confirmed again the next morning when, at her request, Lady Middleton dropped her off in Berkeley Street with the hope of seeing Elinor alone, to share how happy she was.
The chance proved a lucky one, for a message from Mrs. Palmer soon after she arrived, carried Mrs. Jennings away.
The opportunity turned out to be a fortunate one, as a message from Mrs. Palmer shortly after she arrived took Mrs. Jennings away.
"My dear friend," cried Lucy, as soon as they were by themselves, "I come to talk to you of my happiness. Could anything be so flattering as Mrs. Ferrars's way of treating me yesterday? So exceeding affable as she was! You know how I dreaded the thoughts of seeing her; but the very moment I was introduced, there was such an affability in her behaviour as really should seem to say, she had quite took a[210] fancy to me. Now was not it so? You saw it all; and was not you quite struck with it?"
"My dear friend," exclaimed Lucy, as soon as they were alone, "I want to share my happiness with you. Was there anything more flattering than the way Mrs. Ferrars treated me yesterday? She was so incredibly friendly! You know how nervous I was about seeing her, but the moment I was introduced, she was so warm and welcoming that it really seemed like she had taken a[210] liking to me. Wasn't it true? You saw it all; weren't you impressed?"
"She was certainly very civil to you."
"She was definitely very polite to you."
"Civil!—Did you see nothing but only civility?—I saw a vast deal more. Such kindness as fell to the share of nobody but me!—No pride, no hauteur, and your sister just the same—all sweetness and affability!"
"Civil!—Did you see nothing but just politeness?—I saw a whole lot more. Such kindness that was offered to no one but me!—No pride, no arrogance, and your sister was exactly the same—all sweetness and friendliness!"
Elinor wished to talk of something else, but Lucy still pressed her to own that she had reason for her happiness; and Elinor was obliged to go on.
Elinor wanted to talk about something else, but Lucy kept insisting that she admit she had a reason for her happiness; so Elinor had to continue.
"Undoubtedly, if they had known your engagement," said she, "nothing could be more flattering than their treatment of you;—but as that was not the case—"
"Surely, if they had known about your engagement," she said, "nothing could be more flattering than how they treated you;—but since that wasn't the case—"
"I guessed you would say so," replied Lucy quickly—"but there was no reason in the world why Mrs. Ferrars should seem to like me, if she did not, and her liking me is every thing. You shan't talk me out of my satisfaction. I am sure it will all end well, and there will be no difficulties at all, to what I used to think. Mrs. Ferrars is a charming woman, and so is your sister. They are both delightful women, indeed!—I wonder I should never hear you say how agreeable Mrs. Dashwood was!"
"I figured you'd say that," Lucy quickly replied, "but there's no reason at all for Mrs. Ferrars to act like she likes me if she doesn't, and her liking me means everything. You won't talk me out of my happiness. I know it will all turn out well, and there won't be any difficulties compared to what I used to think. Mrs. Ferrars is a lovely woman, and so is your sister. They're both really wonderful women! I can't believe you never mentioned how pleasant Mrs. Dashwood is!"
To this Elinor had no answer to make, and did not attempt any.
To this, Elinor had no response and didn't try to come up with one.
"Are you ill, Miss Dashwood?—you seem low—you don't speak;—sure you an't well."
"Are you feeling sick, Miss Dashwood? You seem down—you’re not saying much; are you not well?"
"I never was in better health."
"I'm healthier than ever."
"I am glad of it with all my heart; but really you did not look it. I should be sorry to have you ill; you, that have been the greatest comfort to me in the world!—Heaven knows what I should have done without your friendship."—
"I’m really happy about it, but honestly, you didn’t seem that way. I would hate to see you unwell; you’ve been the biggest support to me in the world!—Heaven knows what I would’ve done without your friendship."
Elinor tried to make a civil answer, though doubting her own success. But it seemed to satisfy Lucy, for she directly replied—
Elinor tried to give a polite response, even though she was unsure of how well she would do. But it seemed to please Lucy, because she immediately replied—
"Indeed I am perfectly convinced of your regard for me, and next to Edward's love, it is the greatest comfort I have. Poor Edward!—But now there is one good thing, we shall be able to meet, and meet pretty often, for Lady Middleton's delighted with Mrs. Dashwood, so we shall be a good deal in Harley Street, I dare say, and Edward spends half his time with his sister—besides, Lady Middleton and Mrs. Ferrars will visit[211] now;—and Mrs. Ferrars and your sister were both so good to say more than once, they should always be glad to see me. They are such charming women!—I am sure if ever you tell your sister what I think of her, you cannot speak too high."
"Honestly, I'm completely sure of how you feel about me, and next to Edward's love, it's the greatest comfort I have. Poor Edward! But there’s one good thing: we’ll be able to meet, and meet pretty often, because Lady Middleton is thrilled with Mrs. Dashwood, so we’ll likely spend a lot of time on Harley Street, and Edward spends half his time with his sister. Plus, Lady Middleton and Mrs. Ferrars will be visiting[211] now; and Mrs. Ferrars and your sister were both so kind to say more than once that they would always be happy to see me. They are such wonderful women! I’m sure if you ever tell your sister what I think of her, you won’t be able to praise her enough."
But Elinor would not give her any encouragement to hope that she should tell her sister. Lucy continued.
But Elinor wouldn't give her any reason to believe that she would tell her sister. Lucy kept going.
"I am sure I should have seen it in a moment, if Mrs. Ferrars had took a dislike to me. If she had only made me a formal courtesy, for instance, without saying a word, and never after had took any notice of me, and never looked at me in a pleasant way—you know what I mean—if I had been treated in that forbidding sort of way, I should have gave it all up in despair. I could not have stood it. For where she does dislike, I know it is most violent."
"I’m sure I would have noticed right away if Mrs. Ferrars had taken a dislike to me. If she had just given me a formal nod, for example, without saying anything, and then completely ignored me and never looked at me in a friendly way—you know what I mean—if I had been treated that coldly, I would have given up in despair. I couldn’t have handled it. Because when she does dislike someone, I know it’s very intense."
Elinor was prevented from making any reply to this civil triumph, by the door's being thrown open, the servant's announcing Mr. Ferrars, and Edward's immediately walking in.
Elinor couldn't respond to this polite victory because the door swung open, the servant announced Mr. Ferrars, and Edward walked in right away.
It was a very awkward moment; and the countenance of each showed that it was so. They all looked exceedingly foolish; and Edward seemed to have as great an inclination to walk out of the room again, as to advance farther into it. The very circumstance, in its unpleasantest form, which they would each have been most anxious to avoid, had fallen on them. They were not only all three together, but were together without the relief of any other person. The ladies recovered themselves first. It was not Lucy's business to put herself forward, and the appearance of secrecy must still be kept up. She could therefore only look her tenderness, and after slightly addressing him, said no more.
It was an extremely awkward moment, and you could see that on everyone's face. They all looked pretty ridiculous, and Edward seemed just as eager to leave the room as he was to stay and move further in. The very situation they all wanted to avoid had happened to them in the worst possible way. Not only were the three of them together, but they were also alone without anyone else for support. The ladies managed to regain their composure first. It wasn't Lucy's place to step forward, and they still needed to maintain the appearance of secrecy. So, she could only show her concern, and after giving him a brief acknowledgment, she said nothing more.
But Elinor had more to do; and so anxious was she, for his sake and her own, to do it well, that she forced herself, after a moment's recollection, to welcome him, with a look and manner that were almost easy, and almost open; and another struggle, another effort still improved them. She would not allow the presence of Lucy, nor the consciousness of some injustice towards herself, to deter her from saying that she was happy to see him, and that she had very much regretted being from home, when he called before in Berkeley Street. She would not be frightened from paying him those attentions which, as a friend and almost a relation, were his due,[212] by the observant eyes of Lucy, though she soon perceived them to be narrowly watching her.
But Elinor had more to do; and she was so eager, for his sake and her own, to do it well that she forced herself, after a moment's pause, to greet him with a look and demeanor that were almost casual, almost open; and another struggle, another effort made them even better. She wouldn't let the presence of Lucy or the awareness of some unfairness towards herself stop her from saying she was happy to see him and that she had really regretted being away from home when he visited before in Berkeley Street. She wouldn’t be intimidated into withholding the attentions that, as a friend and almost family, he deserved,[212] despite quickly realizing that Lucy's observant eyes were closely watching her.
Her manners gave some re-assurance to Edward, and he had courage enough to sit down; but his embarrassment still exceeded that of the ladies in a proportion, which the case rendered reasonable, though his sex might make it rare; for his heart had not the indifference of Lucy's, nor could his conscience have quite the ease of Elinor's.
Her manners reassured Edward a bit, giving him enough courage to sit down; but he still felt more embarrassed than the ladies, which was understandable given the situation, even if it's usually uncommon for men. His heart wasn't as indifferent as Lucy's, nor could his conscience be as at ease as Elinor's.
Lucy, with a demure and settled air, seemed determined to make no contribution to the comfort of the others, and would not say a word; and almost every thing that was said, proceeded from Elinor, who was obliged to volunteer all the information about her mother's health, their coming to town, &c. which Edward ought to have inquired about, but never did.
Lucy, with a quiet and composed demeanor, appeared set on not helping the others feel comfortable, and she stayed completely silent; nearly everything that was said came from Elinor, who had to provide all the details about her mom's health, their move to the city, etc., which Edward should have asked about but never did.
Her exertions did not stop here; for she soon afterwards felt herself so heroically disposed as to determine, under pretence of fetching Marianne, to leave the others by themselves; and she really did it, and that in the handsomest manner, for she loitered away several minutes on the landing-place, with the most high-minded fortitude, before she went to her sister. When that was once done, however, it was time for the raptures of Edward to cease; for Marianne's joy hurried her into the drawing-room immediately. Her pleasure in seeing him was like every other of her feelings, strong in itself, and strongly spoken. She met him with a hand that would be taken, and a voice that expressed the affection of a sister.
Her efforts didn’t end there; soon after, she felt a surge of heroism and decided, under the guise of going to get Marianne, to leave the others alone. And she actually did it, doing so in the most graceful way, as she lingered on the landing for several minutes, showing remarkable courage, before she went to her sister. Once that was done, though, it was time for Edward’s excitement to come to an end, as Marianne’s happiness rushed her into the drawing-room right away. Her joy at seeing him was as intense as all her other feelings, both powerful and openly expressed. She greeted him with an outstretched hand and a voice that conveyed the affection of a sister.
"Dear Edward!" she cried, "this is a moment of great happiness!—This would almost make amends for every thing!"
"Dear Edward!" she exclaimed, "this is such a joyous moment!—This could nearly make up for everything!"
Edward tried to return her kindness as it deserved, but before such witnesses he dared not say half what he really felt. Again they all sat down, and for a moment or two all were silent; while Marianne was looking with the most speaking tenderness, sometimes at Edward and sometimes at Elinor, regretting only that their delight in each other should be checked by Lucy's unwelcome presence. Edward was the first to speak, and it was to notice Marianne's altered looks, and express his fear of her not finding London agree with her.
Edward tried to repay her kindness as it deserved, but with such witnesses around, he didn’t dare say half of what he really felt. They all sat down again, and for a moment or two, everyone was silent; meanwhile, Marianne was looking at Edward and then at Elinor with deep tenderness, regretting only that their joy in each other was interrupted by Lucy's unwelcome presence. Edward was the first to break the silence, commenting on Marianne's changed appearance and expressing his concern that she might not be doing well in London.
"Oh, don't think of me!" she replied with spirited earnestness, though her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke, "don't think of my health. Elinor is well, you see. That must be enough for us both."[213]
"Oh, don't worry about me!" she answered with genuine enthusiasm, even though her eyes were brimming with tears as she said it, "don’t think about my health. Elinor is fine, you see. That should be enough for us both."[213]
This remark was not calculated to make Edward or Elinor more easy, nor to conciliate the good will of Lucy, who looked up at Marianne with no very benignant expression.
This comment didn’t help Edward or Elinor feel any better, nor did it win over Lucy, who looked at Marianne with a rather unkind expression.
"Do you like London?" said Edward, willing to say any thing that might introduce another subject.
"Do you like London?" Edward asked, eager to say something that might lead to a different topic.
"Not at all. I expected much pleasure in it, but I have found none. The sight of you, Edward, is the only comfort it has afforded; and thank Heaven! you are what you always were!"
"Not at all. I expected to enjoy it, but I haven't found any pleasure. Seeing you, Edward, is the only comfort it has given me; and thank goodness! you are just as you always were!"
She paused—no one spoke.
She paused—no one said anything.
"I think, Elinor," she presently added, "we must employ Edward to take care of us in our return to Barton. In a week or two, I suppose, we shall be going; and, I trust, Edward will not be very unwilling to accept the charge."
"I think, Elinor," she then added, "we should ask Edward to take care of us on our way back to Barton. In a week or two, I guess, we’ll be leaving; and I hope Edward won’t be too reluctant to take on the responsibility."
Poor Edward muttered something, but what it was, nobody knew, not even himself. But Marianne, who saw his agitation, and could easily trace it to whatever cause best pleased herself, was perfectly satisfied, and soon talked of something else.
Poor Edward mumbled something, but nobody knew what it was, not even he himself. However, Marianne, who noticed his distress and could easily connect it to whatever reason suited her, was completely satisfied and soon changed the subject.
"We spent such a day, Edward, in Harley Street yesterday! So dull, so wretchedly dull!—But I have much to say to you on that head, which cannot be said now."
"We spent such a day, Edward, in Harley Street yesterday! So boring, so painfully boring!—But I have a lot to discuss with you about that, which can’t be said right now."
And with this admirable discretion did she defer the assurance of her finding their mutual relatives more disagreeable than ever, and of her being particularly disgusted with his mother, till they were more in private.
And with this admirable discretion, she held off on expressing her opinion that their mutual relatives were more unpleasant than ever, and that she was especially annoyed with his mother, until they were in a more private setting.
"But why were you not there, Edward?—Why did you not come?"
"But why weren't you there, Edward?—Why didn't you come?"
"I was engaged elsewhere."
"I'm busy with something else."
"Engaged! But what was that, when such friends were to be met?"
"Engaged! But what was that, when friends like that were to be seen?"
"Perhaps, Miss Marianne," cried Lucy, eager to take some revenge on her, "you think young men never stand upon engagements, if they have no mind to keep them, little as well as great."
"Maybe, Miss Marianne," Lucy exclaimed, eager to get back at her, "you think young men never take their commitments seriously if they don’t feel like honoring them, whether they’re small or big."
Elinor was very angry, but Marianne seemed entirely insensible of the sting; for she calmly replied—
Elinor was really angry, but Marianne seemed completely unaware of the hurt; she calmly replied—
"Not so, indeed; for, seriously speaking, I am very sure that conscience only kept Edward from Harley Street. And I really believe he has the most delicate conscience in the world; the most scrupulous in performing every engagement, however minute, and however it may make against his interest[214] or pleasure. He is the most fearful of giving pain, of wounding expectation, and the most incapable of being selfish, of any body I ever saw. Edward, it is so, and I will say it. What! are you never to hear yourself praised!—Then you must be no friend of mine; for those who will accept of my love and esteem, must submit to my open commendation."
"Not really; honestly, I’m pretty sure it’s his conscience that kept Edward away from Harley Street. And I truly believe he has the most sensitive conscience in the world; he’s extremely careful about fulfilling every obligation, no matter how small, even if it goes against his own interests[214] or enjoyment. He’s the most anxious about causing pain or disappointing anyone, and the least selfish person I’ve ever met. Edward, it’s true, and I’m going to say it. What? Are you never going to hear anything good about yourself? Then you can't be my friend; because those who accept my love and respect must also accept my open praise."
The nature of her commendation, in the present case, however, happened to be particularly ill-suited to the feelings of two thirds of her auditors, and was so very unexhilarating to Edward, that he very soon got up to go away.
The way she praised him, in this situation, just didn't resonate with two-thirds of the audience, and it was so dull for Edward that he quickly decided to leave.
"Going so soon!" said Marianne; "my dear Edward, this must not be."
"Leaving so soon!" said Marianne; "my dear Edward, this can't happen."
And drawing him a little aside, she whispered her persuasion that Lucy could not stay much longer. But even this encouragement failed, for he would go; and Lucy, who would have outstayed him, had his visit lasted two hours, soon afterwards went away.
And pulling him aside, she softly urged him that Lucy couldn’t stay much longer. But even this didn’t work, because he insisted on leaving; and Lucy, who would have stayed longer if his visit had lasted two hours, soon left too.
"What can bring her here so often?" said Marianne, on her leaving them. "Could not she see that we wanted her gone!—how teasing to Edward!"
"What makes her come here so often?" said Marianne as she left them. "Couldn’t she tell we wanted her to leave? It’s so annoying for Edward!"
"Why so?—we were all his friends, and Lucy has been the longest known to him of any. It is but natural that he should like to see her as well as ourselves."
"Why is that?—we were all his friends, and Lucy has known him the longest of anyone. It's only natural that he would want to see her just like the rest of us."
Marianne looked at her steadily, and said, "You know, Elinor, that this is a kind of talking which I cannot bear. If you only hope to have your assertion contradicted, as I must suppose to be the case, you ought to recollect that I am the last person in the world to do it. I cannot descend to be tricked out of assurances, that are not really wanted."
Marianne looked at her intently and said, "You know, Elinor, that this kind of conversation drives me crazy. If you’re just hoping to get challenged on what you said, which I assume is the case, you should remember that I’m the last person who would do that. I refuse to be pressured into giving reassurances that you don't truly need."
She then left the room; and Elinor dared not follow her to say more, for bound as she was by her promise of secrecy to Lucy, she could give no information that would convince Marianne; and painful as the consequences of her still continuing in an error might be, she was obliged to submit to it. All that she could hope, was that Edward would not often expose her or himself to the distress of hearing Marianne's mistaken warmth, nor to the repetition of any other part of the pain that had attended their recent meeting—and this she had every reason to expect.
She then left the room, and Elinor didn’t dare follow her to say anything more. Bound by her promise of secrecy to Lucy, she couldn't provide any information that would convince Marianne. Although it pained her to let Marianne continue in her misunderstanding, she had to accept it. All she could hope for was that Edward wouldn’t often have to face the discomfort of hearing Marianne’s misplaced enthusiasm or relive any other part of the pain from their recent meeting—and she had every reason to believe he wouldn’t.
CHAPTER XXXVI
Within a few days after this meeting, the newspapers announced to the world, that the lady of Thomas Palmer, Esq. was safely delivered of a son and heir; a very interesting and satisfactory paragraph, at least to all those intimate connections who knew it before.
Within a few days after this meeting, the newspapers announced to the world that the wife of Thomas Palmer, Esq. had safely given birth to a son and heir; a very interesting and satisfying update, at least for all those close friends and family who already knew.
This event, highly important to Mrs. Jennings's happiness, produced a temporary alteration in the disposal of her time, and influenced, in a like degree, the engagements of her young friends; for as she wished to be as much as possible with Charlotte, she went thither every morning as soon as she was dressed, and did not return till late in the evening; and the Miss Dashwoods, at the particular request of the Middletons, spent the whole of every day, in Conduit Street. For their own comfort they would much rather have remained, at least all the morning, in Mrs. Jennings's house; but it was not a thing to be urged against the wishes of everybody. Their hours were therefore made over to Lady Middleton and the two Miss Steeles, by whom their company, in fact was as little valued, as it was professedly sought.
This event, really important to Mrs. Jennings's happiness, caused a temporary change in how she spent her time and similarly affected her young friends' plans. Wanting to spend as much time as possible with Charlotte, she went over every morning as soon as she got dressed and didn’t come back until late in the evening. The Miss Dashwoods, at Lady Middleton's specific request, spent all their days on Conduit Street. For their own comfort, they would have preferred to stay at least in Mrs. Jennings's house all morning, but they couldn’t push back against everyone else's wishes. So, their time was given over to Lady Middleton and the two Miss Steeles, who actually valued their company as little as they publicly claimed to want it.
They had too much sense to be desirable companions to the former; and by the latter they were considered with a jealous eye, as intruding on their ground, and sharing the kindness which they wanted to monopolize. Though nothing could be more polite than Lady Middleton's behaviour to Elinor and Marianne, she did not really like them at all. Because they neither flattered herself nor her children, she could not believe them good-natured; and because they were fond of reading, she fancied them satirical: perhaps without exactly knowing what it was to be satirical; but that did not signify. It was censure in common use, and easily given.
They were too sensible to be seen as desirable friends by the former; and the latter viewed them with jealousy, as if they were invading their territory and sharing the affection they wanted to keep all to themselves. Although Lady Middleton was extremely polite to Elinor and Marianne, she didn’t actually like them at all. Since they didn’t flatter her or her children, she couldn’t see them as kind-hearted; and because they enjoyed reading, she assumed they were sarcastic—perhaps without really knowing what being sarcastic meant; but that didn’t matter. It was a common criticism easily thrown around.
Their presence was a restraint both on her and on Lucy. It checked the idleness of one, and the business of the other. Lady Middleton was ashamed of doing nothing before them, and the flattery which Lucy was proud to think of and administer at other times, she feared they would despise her for offering. Miss Steele was the least discomposed of the three,[217] by their presence; and it was in their power to reconcile her to it entirely. Would either of them only have given her a full and minute account of the whole affair between Marianne and Mr. Willoughby, she would have thought herself amply rewarded for the sacrifice of the best place by the fire after dinner, which their arrival occasioned. But this conciliation was not granted; for though she often threw out expressions of pity for her sister to Elinor, and more than once dropt a reflection on the inconstancy of beaux before Marianne, no effect was produced, but a look of indifference from the former, or of disgust in the latter. An effort even yet lighter might have made her their friend. Would they only have laughed at her about the Doctor! But so little were they, anymore than the others, inclined to oblige her, that if Sir John dined from home, she might spend a whole day without hearing any other raillery on the subject, than what she was kind enough to bestow on herself.
Their presence was a restraint on both her and Lucy. It limited the laziness of one and the busyness of the other. Lady Middleton felt embarrassed about doing nothing in front of them, and the compliments that Lucy liked to think about and give at other times, she worried they would look down on her for offering. Miss Steele was the least bothered by their presence; they could easily make her feel comfortable with it. If either of them had just given her a detailed account of everything that happened between Marianne and Mr. Willoughby, she would have felt well compensated for losing the best spot by the fire after dinner that their arrival caused. But that understanding was not given; even though she often expressed sympathy for her sister to Elinor and occasionally made comments about the fickleness of men in front of Marianne, it had no effect, resulting only in an indifferent look from the former or a disgusted one from the latter. An even lighter effort might have won her over. If they had just laughed at her about the Doctor! But they were just as unwilling as the others to accommodate her, so if Sir John dined elsewhere, she could spend an entire day without hearing any teasing on the subject other than what she was kind enough to direct at herself.
All these jealousies and discontents, however, were so totally unsuspected by Mrs. Jennings, that she thought it a delightful thing for the girls to be together; and generally congratulated her young friends every night, on having escaped the company of a stupid old woman so long. She joined them sometimes at Sir John's, sometimes at her own house; but wherever it was, she always came in excellent spirits, full of delight and importance, attributing Charlotte's well doing to her own care, and ready to give so exact, so minute a detail of her situation, as only Miss Steele had curiosity enough to desire. One thing did disturb her; and of that she made her daily complaint. Mr. Palmer maintained the common, but unfatherly opinion among his sex, of all infants being alike; and though she could plainly perceive, at different times, the most striking resemblance between this baby and every one of his relations on both sides, there was no convincing his father of it; no persuading him to believe that it was not exactly like every other baby of the same age; nor could he even be brought to acknowledge the simple proposition of its being the finest child in the world.
All these jealousies and frustrations were completely unnoticed by Mrs. Jennings, who thought it was wonderful for the girls to be together. Every night, she congratulated her young friends for managing to avoid the company of a boring old woman for so long. She joined them sometimes at Sir John's and sometimes at her own house, but no matter where it was, she always came in a great mood, full of joy and importance, crediting Charlotte’s success to her own efforts, and eager to give such detailed accounts of her situation that only Miss Steele had enough curiosity to ask for. One thing did bother her, though, and she complained about it every day. Mr. Palmer held the common but unfatherly belief that all babies look alike, and even though she could clearly see at different times the most striking resemblance between this baby and all of his relatives, there was no convincing the father of that. He refused to believe that this baby was not exactly like every other baby the same age, nor could he even admit the simple idea that it was the most beautiful child in the world.
I come now to the relation of a misfortune, which about this time befell Mrs. John Dashwood. It so happened that while her two sisters with Mrs. Jennings were first calling on her in Harley Street, another of her acquaintance had dropt in—a[218] circumstance in itself not apparently likely to produce evil to her. But while the imaginations of other people will carry them away to form wrong judgments of our conduct, and to decide on it by slight appearances, one's happiness must in some measure be always at the mercy of chance. In the present instance, this last-arrived lady allowed her fancy to so far outrun truth and probability, that on merely hearing the name of the Miss Dashwoods, and understanding them to be Mr. Dashwood's sisters, she immediately concluded them to be staying in Harley Street; and this misconstruction produced within a day or two afterwards, cards of invitation for them as well as for their brother and sister, to a small musical party at her house. The consequence of which was, that Mrs. John Dashwood was obliged to submit not only to the exceedingly great inconvenience of sending her carriage for the Miss Dashwoods, but, what was still worse, must be subject to all the unpleasantness of appearing to treat them with attention: and who could tell that they might not expect to go out with her a second time? The power of disappointing them, it was true, must always be her's. But that was not enough; for when people are determined on a mode of conduct which they know to be wrong, they feel injured by the expectation of any thing better from them.
I now want to share a misfortune that happened to Mrs. John Dashwood around this time. While her two sisters were visiting her in Harley Street with Mrs. Jennings, another acquaintance unexpectedly dropped by—a situation that didn’t seem like it would cause any problems for her. However, when other people let their imaginations run wild, they can easily form wrong judgments about us based on superficial appearances, and our happiness can end up being at the mercy of chance. In this case, the newly arrived lady let her imagination take over to the point where, upon hearing the name of the Miss Dashwoods and realizing they were Mr. Dashwood's sisters, she immediately assumed they were staying in Harley Street. This misunderstanding led to invitations for them and their brother and sister to a small musical gathering at her home just a couple of days later. As a result, Mrs. John Dashwood was forced to deal with the considerable inconvenience of sending her carriage to pick up the Miss Dashwoods, but even worse, she had to face the awkwardness of appearing to treat them with care. And who could say they wouldn’t expect to go out with her again? While she could always choose to disappoint them, that wasn't enough because when people choose to act in a way they know is wrong, they feel wronged by any expectation of better behavior from them.
Marianne had now been brought by degrees, so much into the habit of going out every day, that it was become a matter of indifference to her, whether she went or not: and she prepared quietly and mechanically for every evening's engagement, though without expecting the smallest amusement from any, and very often without knowing, till the last moment, where it was to take her.
Marianne had gradually gotten into the routine of going out every day, to the point where it didn’t really matter to her whether she went or not. She would quietly and mechanically get ready for each evening's plans, even though she didn’t expect to enjoy any of them, and often didn’t know until the last minute where she was supposed to go.
To her dress and appearance she was grown so perfectly indifferent, as not to bestow half the consideration on it, during the whole of her toilet, which it received from Miss Steele in the first five minutes of their being together, when it was finished. Nothing escaped her minute observation and general curiosity; she saw every thing, and asked every thing; was never easy till she knew the price of every part of Marianne's dress; could have guessed the number of her gowns altogether with better judgment than Marianne herself, and was not without hopes of finding out before they parted, how much her washing cost per week, and how much she had every year[219] to spend upon herself. The impertinence of these kind of scrutinies, moreover, was generally concluded with a compliment, which though meant as its douceur, was considered by Marianne as the greatest impertinence of all; for after undergoing an examination into the value and make of her gown, the colour of her shoes, and the arrangement of her hair, she was almost sure of being told that upon "her word she looked vastly smart, and she dared to say she would make a great many conquests."
To her outfit and look, she had become so completely indifferent that she didn’t give it half the attention Miss Steele did in the first five minutes of their time together, right after it was all done. Nothing escaped her keen observation and endless curiosity; she noticed everything and asked everything. She was never satisfied until she knew the price of each piece of Marianne's outfit; she could probably guess the total number of her dresses more accurately than Marianne herself and hoped to find out before they parted how much her laundry cost each week and how much she had each year[219] to spend on herself. The rudeness of these kinds of inquiries was usually wrapped up with a compliment, which, although intended as a kindness, Marianne saw as the most annoying thing of all. After being grilled about the value and style of her dress, the color of her shoes, and how her hair was styled, she was almost always sure to hear that, "on her word, she looked incredibly smart, and she dared to say she would make a lot of conquests."
With such encouragement as this, was she dismissed on the present occasion, to her brother's carriage; which they were ready to enter five minutes after it stopped at the door, a punctuality not very agreeable to their sister-in-law, who had preceded them to the house of her acquaintance, and was there hoping for some delay on their part that might inconvenience either herself or her coachman.
With this kind of encouragement, she was sent off to her brother's car, which they were ready to get into five minutes after it pulled up to the door—a punctuality that her sister-in-law did not appreciate, as she had arrived at the home of her friend earlier and was hoping for a delay on their part that would be inconvenient for either herself or her driver.
The events of this evening were not very remarkable. The party, like other musical parties, comprehended a great many people who had real taste for the performance, and a great many more who had none at all; and the performers themselves were, as usual, in their own estimation, and that of their immediate friends, the first private performers in England.
The events of this evening weren’t particularly noteworthy. The party, like other musical gatherings, included many people who truly appreciated the performance, as well as a lot more who didn’t care at all; and the performers themselves were, as usual, in their own opinion, and that of their closest friends, the best private performers in England.
As Elinor was neither musical, nor affecting to be so, she made no scruple of turning her eyes from the grand pianoforte, whenever it suited her, and unrestrained even by the presence of a harp, and violoncello, would fix them at pleasure on any other object in the room. In one of these excursive glances she perceived among a group of young men, the very he, who had given them a lecture on toothpick-cases at Gray's. She perceived him soon afterwards looking at herself, and speaking familiarly to her brother; and had just determined to find out his name from the latter, when they both came towards her, and Mr. Dashwood introduced him to her as Mr. Robert Ferrars.
As Elinor wasn't musical and didn't pretend to be, she had no problem diverting her gaze from the grand piano whenever she felt like it. Even with a harp and a cello in the room, she would easily focus on anything else around her. During one of these distracted looks, she spotted a young man among a group who was the same one that had given them a talk about toothpick cases at Gray's. She noticed him soon after looking at her and chatting comfortably with her brother; just as she was about to ask him for the man's name, they both approached her, and Mr. Dashwood introduced him as Mr. Robert Ferrars.
He addressed her with easy civility, and twisted his head into a bow which assured her as plainly as words could have done, that he was exactly the coxcomb she had heard him described to be by Lucy. Happy had it been for her, if her regard for Edward had depended less on his own merit, than on the merit of his nearest relations! For then his brother's bow must have given the finishing stroke to what the ill-humour[220] of his mother and sister would have begun. But while she wondered at the difference of the two young men, she did not find that the emptiness and conceit of the one, put her out of all charity with the modesty and worth of the other. Why they were different, Robert explained to her himself in the course of a quarter of an hour's conversation; for, talking of his brother, and lamenting the extreme gaucherie which he really believed kept him from mixing in proper society, he candidly and generously attributed it much less to any natural deficiency, than to the misfortune of a private education; while he himself, though probably without any particular, any material superiority by nature, merely from the advantage of a public school, was as well fitted to mix in the world as any other man.
He spoke to her with casual politeness and tilted his head in a bow that made it clear, without needing words, that he was exactly the vain person Lucy had described. It would have been better for her if her feelings for Edward had relied less on his own qualities and more on the qualities of his closest relatives! If that had been the case, his brother’s bow would have completed what the bad mood of his mother and sister had started. But while she marveled at how different the two young men were, she found that the emptiness and arrogance of one didn't make her lose respect for the humility and goodness of the other. Robert explained their differences to her during a brief conversation of about thirty minutes; while talking about his brother and expressing regret for the awkwardness he thought kept him from fitting in with proper society, he honestly and generously suggested it was largely due to the unfortunate impact of a private education. He, on the other hand, although likely not naturally superior in any specific way, was well-equipped to socialize because of the advantages of a public school.
"Upon my soul," he added, "I believe it is nothing more; and so I often tell my mother, when she is grieving about it. 'My dear Madam,' I always say to her, 'you must make yourself easy. The evil is now irremediable, and it has been entirely your own doing. Why would you be persuaded by my uncle, Sir Robert, against your own judgment, to place Edward under private tuition, at the most critical time of his life? If you had only sent him to Westminster as well as myself, instead of sending him to Mr. Pratt's, all this would have been prevented.' This is the way in which I always consider the matter, and my mother is perfectly convinced of her error."
"Honestly," he added, "I really think that's all there is to it; and I often tell my mom when she’s upset about it. 'Dear Mom,' I always say to her, 'you need to put your mind at ease. The damage is done now, and it’s completely your fault. Why did you let my uncle, Sir Robert, sway you against your better judgment to have Edward tutored privately at such a crucial time in his life? If you had just sent him to Westminster like I went, instead of sending him to Mr. Pratt's, all of this could have been avoided.' This is how I see it, and my mom is totally aware of her mistake."
Elinor would not oppose his opinion, because, whatever might be her general estimation of the advantage of a public school, she could not think of Edward's abode in Mr. Pratt's family, with any satisfaction.
Elinor wouldn't oppose his opinion, because, no matter how she generally felt about the benefits of a public school, she couldn't think about Edward living with Mr. Pratt's family with any satisfaction.
"You reside in Devonshire, I think,"—was his next observation, "in a cottage near Dawlish."
"You live in Devonshire, right?" was his next comment, "in a cottage near Dawlish."
Elinor set him right as to its situation; and it seemed rather surprising to him that anybody could live in Devonshire, without living near Dawlish. He bestowed his hearty approbation however on their species of house.
Elinor corrected him about its location, and he found it quite surprising that anyone could live in Devonshire without being close to Dawlish. However, he expressed his strong approval of their type of house.
"For my own part," said he, "I am excessively fond of a cottage; there is always so much comfort, so much elegance about them. And I protest, if I had any money to spare, I should buy a little land and build one myself, within a short distance of London, where I might drive myself down[221] at any time, and collect a few friends about me, and be happy. I advise every body who is going to build, to build a cottage. My friend Lord Courtland came to me the other day on purpose to ask my advice, and laid before me three different plans of Bonomi's. I was to decide on the best of them. 'My dear Courtland,' said I, immediately throwing them all into the fire, 'do not adopt either of them, but by all means build a cottage.' And that I fancy, will be the end of it.
"For my part," he said, "I'm really fond of cottages; they’re always so cozy and elegant. Honestly, if I had any extra money, I would buy a little land and build one myself, not far from London, where I could drive down at any time, gather a few friends around, and be happy. I recommend everyone planning to build a house to choose a cottage. My friend Lord Courtland came to me the other day specifically to ask for my advice and showed me three different plans by Bonomi. I was supposed to pick the best one. 'My dear Courtland,' I said, immediately tossing them all into the fire, 'don’t go with any of these, but definitely build a cottage instead.' And I think that will be the end of it.
"Some people imagine that there can be no accommodations, no space in a cottage; but this is all a mistake. I was last month at my friend Elliott's, near Dartford. Lady Elliott wished to give a dance. 'But how can it be done?' said she; 'my dear Ferrars, do tell me how it is to be managed. There is not a room in this cottage that will hold ten couple, and where can the supper be?' I immediately saw that there could be no difficulty in it, so I said, 'My dear Lady Elliott, do not be uneasy. The dining parlour will admit eighteen couple with ease; card-tables may be placed in the drawing-room; the library may be open for tea and other refreshments; and let the supper be set out in the saloon.' Lady Elliott was delighted with the thought. We measured the dining-room, and found it would hold exactly eighteen couple, and the affair was arranged precisely after my plan. So that, in fact, you see, if people do but know how to set about it, every comfort may be as well enjoyed in a cottage as in the most spacious dwelling."
"Some people think that a cottage can't accommodate anyone or have any space, but that's a misconception. Last month, I visited my friend Elliott's place near Dartford. Lady Elliott wanted to host a dance. 'But how can we do it?' she asked; 'my dear Ferrars, please tell me how we can manage this. There isn't a room in this cottage that can hold ten couples, and where will we have the supper?' I immediately realized there wouldn’t be any problem, so I said, 'My dear Lady Elliott, don't worry. The dining room can easily fit eighteen couples; we can set up card tables in the drawing room; the library can be used for tea and other refreshments; and we can have the supper in the saloon.' Lady Elliott loved the idea. We measured the dining room and found it could hold exactly eighteen couples, and everything was arranged just as I suggested. So, you see, if people know how to approach it, every comfort can be enjoyed in a cottage just as well as in the largest home."
Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition.
Elinor went along with everything because she didn't believe he deserved the compliment of a rational disagreement.
As John Dashwood had no more pleasure in music than his eldest sister, his mind was equally at liberty to fix on any thing else; and a thought struck him during the evening, which he communicated to his wife, for her approbation, when they got home. The consideration of Mrs. Dennison's mistake, in supposing his sisters their guests, had suggested the propriety of their being really invited to become such, while Mrs. Jennings's engagements kept her from home. The expense would be nothing, the inconvenience not more; and it was altogether an attention which the delicacy of his conscience pointed out to be requisite to its complete enfranchisement from his promise to his father. Fanny was startled at the proposal.[222]
As John Dashwood found no more enjoyment in music than his eldest sister, his mind was free to focus on something else. An idea came to him during the evening, which he shared with his wife for her approval when they got home. The thought of Mrs. Dennison's mistake, believing his sisters were their guests, led him to think they should actually be invited to be guests while Mrs. Jennings was away. The cost would be negligible, and the inconvenience wouldn't be much either; it was also a gesture that his conscience indicated was necessary to fully free himself from the promise he had made to his father. Fanny was taken aback by the suggestion.[222]
"I do not see how it can be done," said she, "without affronting Lady Middleton, for they spend every day with her; otherwise I should be exceedingly glad to do it. You know I am always ready to pay them any attention in my power, as my taking them out this evening shows. But they are Lady Middleton's visitors. How can I ask them away from her?"
"I don't see how that can be done," she said, "without offending Lady Middleton, since they spend every day with her; otherwise, I would be really happy to do it. You know I'm always willing to give them any attention I can, as my taking them out this evening shows. But they are Lady Middleton's guests. How can I ask them to leave her?"
Her husband, but with great humility, did not see the force of her objection. "They had already spent a week in this manner in Conduit Street, and Lady Middleton could not be displeased at their giving the same number of days to such near relations."
Her husband, though very humble, did not understand the strength of her objection. "They had already spent a week this way on Conduit Street, and Lady Middleton couldn't be upset about them dedicating the same amount of time to such close relatives."
Fanny paused a moment, and then, with fresh vigor, said—
Fanny paused for a moment, and then, with renewed energy, said—
"My love I would ask them with all my heart, if it was in my power. But I had just settled within myself to ask the Miss Steeles to spend a few days with us. They are very well behaved, good kind of girls; and I think the attention is due to them, as their uncle did so very well by Edward. We can ask your sisters some other year, you know; but the Miss Steeles may not be in town any more. I am sure you will like them; indeed, you do like them, you know, very much already, and so does my mother; and they are such favourites with Harry!"
"My love, I would ask them with all my heart if I could. But I’ve just decided to invite the Miss Steeles to spend a few days with us. They’re really well-behaved, sweet girls, and I think it’s only right to give them some attention, especially since their uncle has treated Edward so well. We can invite your sisters another year, but the Miss Steeles might not be in town then. I’m sure you’ll like them; in fact, you already do like them a lot, and so does my mother; they’re also favorites of Harry!"
Mr. Dashwood was convinced. He saw the necessity of inviting the Miss Steeles immediately, and his conscience was pacified by the resolution of inviting his sisters another year; at the same time, however, slyly suspecting that another year would make the invitation needless, by bringing Elinor to town as Colonel Brandon's wife, and Marianne as their visitor.
Mr. Dashwood was convinced. He realized he needed to invite the Miss Steeles right away, and he felt better about deciding to invite his sisters next year; however, he secretly suspected that by then, the invitation wouldn’t be necessary because Elinor would be in town as Colonel Brandon's wife, and Marianne would be visiting them.
Fanny, rejoicing in her escape, and proud of the ready wit that had procured it, wrote the next morning to Lucy, to request her company and her sister's, for some days, in Harley Street, as soon as Lady Middleton could spare them. This was enough to make Lucy really and reasonably happy. Mrs. Dashwood seemed actually working for her, herself; cherishing all her hopes, and promoting all her views! Such an opportunity of being with Edward and his family was, above all things, the most material to her interest, and such an invitation the most gratifying to her feelings! It[223] was an advantage that could not be too gratefully acknowledged, nor too speedily made use of; and the visit to Lady Middleton, which had not before had any precise limits, was instantly discovered to have been always meant to end in two days' time.
Fanny, thrilled about her escape and proud of the quick thinking that made it happen, wrote to Lucy the next morning, inviting her and her sister to come stay with her in Harley Street for a few days as soon as Lady Middleton could let them go. This made Lucy genuinely happy. It felt like Mrs. Dashwood was really working for her, supporting all her hopes and helping her plans! Being with Edward and his family was the most important thing for her, and getting such an invitation was incredibly satisfying! It was an opportunity that couldn’t be appreciated enough or acted on quickly enough, and the visit to Lady Middleton, which hadn’t had any set end date before, quickly became clear that it was always intended to wrap up in two days.
When the note was shown to Elinor, as it was within ten minutes after its arrival, it gave her, for the first time, some share in the expectations of Lucy; for such a mark of uncommon kindness, vouchsafed on so short an acquaintance, seemed to declare that the good-will towards her arose from something more than merely malice against herself; and might be brought, by time and address, to do every thing that Lucy wished. Her flattery had already subdued the pride of Lady Middleton, and made an entry into the close heart of Mrs. John Dashwood; and these were effects that laid open the probability of greater.
When Elinor saw the note, just ten minutes after it arrived, it gave her, for the first time, a glimpse into Lucy's expectations. The unusual kindness shown after such a brief acquaintance suggested that Lucy's goodwill came from more than just spite towards her. With time and careful handling, it could lead to fulfilling all of Lucy's desires. Lucy's flattery had already broken down Lady Middleton's pride and gained a foothold in Mrs. John Dashwood's guarded heart; these were signs that greater successes could be achieved.
The Miss Steeles removed to Harley Street, and all that reached Elinor of their influence there, strengthened her expectation of the event. Sir John, who called on them more than once, brought home such accounts of the favour they were in, as must be universally striking. Mrs. Dashwood had never been so much pleased with any young women in her life, as she was with them; had given each of them a needle book made by some emigrant; called Lucy by her Christian name; and did not know whether she should ever be able to part with them.
The Miss Steeles moved to Harley Street, and everything Elinor heard about their influence there only heightened her anticipation of the event. Sir John, who visited them several times, brought back such reports of their popularity that they were hard to overlook. Mrs. Dashwood had never been so fond of any young women as she was of them; she had given each of them a needle book made by some emigrant, addressed Lucy by her first name, and wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to say goodbye to them.
CHAPTER XXXVII
Mrs. Palmer was so well at the end of a fortnight, that her mother felt it no longer necessary to give up the whole of her time to her; and, contenting herself with visiting her once or twice a day, returned from that period to her own home, and her own habits, in which she found the Miss Dashwoods very ready to resume their former share.
Mrs. Palmer was doing so well after two weeks that her mother felt it was no longer necessary to devote all her time to her. Satisfied with visiting her once or twice a day, she returned to her own home and routine, where she found the Miss Dashwoods eager to pick up their usual roles.
About the third or fourth morning after their being thus resettled in Berkeley Street, Mrs. Jennings, on returning from her ordinary visit to Mrs. Palmer, entered the drawing-room, where Elinor was sitting by herself, with an air of such hurrying[224] importance as prepared her to hear something wonderful; and giving her time only to form that idea, began directly to justify it, by saying—
About the third or fourth morning after they settled in Berkeley Street, Mrs. Jennings, coming back from her usual visit to Mrs. Palmer, walked into the drawing room where Elinor was sitting alone. Mrs. Jennings had an excited look that made Elinor expect something amazing. Without giving her a moment to think, Mrs. Jennings jumped right in and started to explain—
"Lord! my dear Miss Dashwood! have you heard the news?"
"Wow! My dear Miss Dashwood! Have you heard the news?"
"No, ma'am. What is it?"
"No, ma'am. What's up?"
"Something so strange! But you shall hear it all. When I got to Mr. Palmer's, I found Charlotte quite in a fuss about the child. She was sure it was very ill—it cried, and fretted, and was all over pimples. So I looked at it directly, and, 'Lord! my dear,' says I, 'it is nothing in the world, but the red gum—' and nurse said just the same. But Charlotte, she would not be satisfied, so Mr. Donavan was sent for; and luckily he happened to just come in from Harley Street, so he stepped over directly, and as soon as ever he saw the child, he said just as we did, that it was nothing in the world but the red gum, and then Charlotte was easy. And so, just as he was going away again, it came into my head, I am sure I do not know how I happened to think of it, but it came into my head to ask him if there was any news. So upon that, he smirked, and simpered, and looked grave, and seemed to know something or other, and at last he said in a whisper, 'For fear any unpleasant report should reach the young ladies under your care as to their sister's indisposition, I think it advisable to say, that I believe there is no great reason for alarm; I hope Mrs. Dashwood will do very well.'"
"Something so strange! But you'll hear the whole story. When I arrived at Mr. Palmer's, I found Charlotte in quite a panic about the baby. She was convinced it was very sick—it cried, was fussy, and was covered in spots. So I took a look right away and said, 'Goodness, my dear,' I said, 'it's nothing at all, just the red gum—' and the nurse agreed. But Charlotte wouldn’t be satisfied, so they called Mr. Donavan; luckily, he had just come back from Harley Street, so he came over right away. The moment he saw the baby, he said exactly what we did, that it was just the red gum, and then Charlotte felt relieved. Just as he was leaving, it popped into my head—I'm not sure how I thought of it—but I decided to ask him if there was any news. At that, he smirked, simpered, looked serious, and seemed to know something. Finally, he whispered, 'To prevent any unpleasant news reaching the young ladies you care for regarding their sister's condition, I think it’s best to say that I believe there’s no major cause for concern; I hope Mrs. Dashwood will be just fine.'"
"What! is Fanny ill?"
"What! Is Fanny sick?"
"That is exactly what I said, my dear. 'Lord!' says I, 'is Mrs. Dashwood ill?' So then it all came out; and the long and the short of the matter, by all I can learn, seems to be this. Mr. Edward Ferrars, the very young man I used to joke with you about (but however, as it turns out, I am monstrous glad there was never any thing in it), Mr. Edward Ferrars, it seems, has been engaged above this twelvemonth to my cousin Lucy! There's for you, my dear! And not a creature knowing a syllable of the matter, except Nancy! Could you have believed such a thing possible? There is no great wonder in their liking one another; but that matters should be brought so forward between them, and nobody suspect it! That is strange! I never happened to see them together, or I am sure I should have found it out directly. Well, and [226]so this was kept a great secret, for fear of Mrs. Ferrars, and neither she nor your brother or sister suspected a word of the matter: till this very morning, poor Nancy, who, you know, is a well-meaning creature, but no conjurer, popt it all out. 'Lord!' thinks she to herself, 'they are all so fond of Lucy, to be sure they will make no difficulty about it;' and so, away she went to your sister, who was sitting all alone at her carpet-work, little suspecting what was to come—for she had just been saying to your brother, only five minutes before, that she thought to make a match between Edward and some Lord's daughter or other, I forget who. So you may think what a blow it was to all her vanity and pride. She fell into violent hysterics immediately, with such screams as reached your brother's ears, as he was sitting in his own dressing-room down stairs, thinking about writing a letter to his steward in the country. So up he flew directly, and a terrible scene took place, for Lucy was come to them by that time, little dreaming what was going on. Poor soul! I pity her. And I must say, I think she was used very hardly; for your sister scolded like any fury, and soon drove her into a fainting fit. Nancy, she fell upon her knees, and cried bitterly; and your brother, he walked about the room, and said he did not know what to do. Mrs. Dashwood declared they should not stay a minute longer in the house, and your brother was forced to go down upon his knees too, to persuade her to let them stay till they had packed up their clothes. Then she fell into hysterics again, and he was so frightened that he would send for Mr. Donavan, and Mr. Donavan found the house in all this uproar. The carriage was at the door ready to take my poor cousins away, and they were just stepping in as he came off; poor Lucy in such a condition, he says, she could hardly walk; and Nancy, she was almost as bad. I declare, I have no patience with your sister; and I hope, with all my heart, it will be a match in spite of her. Lord! what a taking poor Mr. Edward will be in when he hears of it! To have his love used so scornfully! for they say he is monstrous fond of her, as well he may. I should not wonder, if he was to be in the greatest passion!—and Mr. Donavan thinks just the same. He and I had a great deal of talk about it; and the best of all is, that he is gone back again to Harley Street, that he may be within call when Mrs. Ferrars is told of it,[227] for she was sent for as soon as ever my cousins left the house, for your sister was sure she would be in hysterics too; and so she may, for what I care. I have no pity for either of them. I have no notion of people's making such a to-do about money and greatness. There is no reason on earth why Mr. Edward and Lucy should not marry; for I am sure Mrs. Ferrars may afford to do very well by her son, and though Lucy has next to nothing herself, she knows better than any body how to make the most of every thing; I dare say, if Mrs. Ferrars would only allow him five hundred a-year, she would make as good an appearance with it as any body else would with eight. Lord! how snug they might live in such another cottage as yours—or a little bigger—with two maids, and two men; and I believe I could help them to a housemaid, for my Betty has a sister out of place, that would fit them exactly."
"That's exactly what I said, my dear. 'Lord!' I said, 'Is Mrs. Dashwood sick?' So then everything came out; and the bottom line seems to be this. Mr. Edward Ferrars, the very young man I used to joke about with you (but honestly, I'm really glad there was never anything between us), Mr. Edward Ferrars has apparently been engaged for over a year to my cousin Lucy! Can you believe it, my dear? And not a single person knew a thing about it, except Nancy! Could you have imagined such a thing? It's not surprising they like each other, but that it was kept so quiet and nobody suspected a thing! That is strange! I never saw them together, or I would have figured it out right away. Well, this was kept a big secret to avoid Mrs. Ferrars finding out, and neither she nor your brother or sister suspected a thing: until this very morning, when poor Nancy, who is well-meaning but not exactly insightful, let it slip. 'Lord!' she thought to herself, 'They all love Lucy, surely they won’t mind,' and off she went to your sister, who was sitting all alone working on her carpet, completely unaware of what was coming—for she had just told your brother, only five minutes before, that she was thinking of arranging a match between Edward and some Lord's daughter or someone, I forget who. So you can imagine how much that hit her vanity and pride. She immediately fell into violent hysterics, with screams that reached your brother’s ears as he was sitting in his dressing room downstairs, considering writing a letter to his steward in the country. So he rushed right up, and a terrible scene unfolded, because Lucy had arrived by that time, completely unaware of what was happening. Poor thing! I feel for her. And I have to say, I think she was treated very unfairly; your sister was furious and quickly drove her into a fainting fit. Nancy fell to her knees, crying bitterly, and your brother walked around the room, saying he didn’t know what to do. Mrs. Dashwood declared they shouldn’t stay another minute in the house, and your brother had to kneel down to persuade her to let them stay until they packed their things. Then she fell into hysterics again, and he was so scared he decided to send for Mr. Donavan, who found the house in complete chaos. The carriage was at the door ready to take my poor cousins away, and they were just about to step in when he arrived; poor Lucy was in such a state, he said she could barely walk, and Nancy was almost as bad. I can’t stand your sister, and I sincerely hope this still turns into a match despite her. Lord! Poor Mr. Edward will be in such a state when he hears about this! To have his love treated so disrespectfully! They say he is really fond of her, as he should be. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got really angry!—and Mr. Donavan thinks the same. We talked a lot about it; and the best part is, he has gone back to Harley Street to be on hand when Mrs. Ferrars hears about it,[227] because she was called as soon as my cousins left the house, since your sister was sure she would also have hysterics; and she might, for all I care. I have no sympathy for either of them. I don’t understand why people make such a fuss over money and status. There’s no reason at all why Mr. Edward and Lucy shouldn’t marry; I’m sure Mrs. Ferrars can afford to support her son well, and even though Lucy has almost nothing herself, she knows better than anyone how to make the most of what she has; I’m sure if Mrs. Ferrars would just give him five hundred a year, they would live as well as anyone else would with eight. Lord! How cozy they could live in a cottage like yours—or a bit bigger—with two maids and two men; and I believe I could help them find a housemaid, since my Betty has a sister who is out of work, and she would be perfect for them."
Here Mrs. Jennings ceased, and as Elinor had had time enough to collect her thoughts, she was able to give such an answer, and make such observations, as the subject might naturally be supposed to produce. Happy to find that she was not suspected of any extraordinary interest in it; that Mrs. Jennings (as she had of late often hoped might be the case) had ceased to imagine her at all attached to Edward; and happy above all the rest, in the absence of Marianne, she felt very well able to speak of the affair without embarrassment, and to give her judgment, as she believed, with impartiality on the conduct of every one concerned in it.
Here Mrs. Jennings stopped talking, and since Elinor had enough time to gather her thoughts, she could respond and share insights that the topic naturally called for. She was relieved to find that she wasn't suspected of having any unusual interest in it; that Mrs. Jennings (as she had often hoped recently) had stopped thinking she had any feelings for Edward; and most importantly, with Marianne not there, she felt totally comfortable discussing the situation without awkwardness and believed she could fairly judge everyone's actions involved.
She could hardly determine what her own expectation of its event really was; though she earnestly tried to drive away the notion of its being possible to end otherwise at last, than in the marriage of Edward and Lucy. What Mrs. Ferrars would say and do, though there could not be a doubt of its nature, she was anxious to hear; and still more anxious to know how Edward would conduct himself. For him she felt much compassion;—for Lucy very little—and it cost her some pains to procure that little;—for the rest of the party none at all.
She could barely figure out what she actually expected from the situation; even though she genuinely tried to dismiss the idea that it could end any way other than the marriage of Edward and Lucy. She was eager to hear what Mrs. Ferrars would say and do, although there was no doubt about what it would be, and she was even more anxious to see how Edward would act. She felt a lot of compassion for him—very little for Lucy—and it took her some effort to muster that little bit; as for the rest of the group, she felt none at all.
As Mrs. Jennings could talk on no other subject, Elinor soon saw the necessity of preparing Marianne for its discussion. No time was to be lost in undeceiving her, in making her acquainted with the real truth, and in endeavouring to bring her to hear it talked of by others, without betraying that she[228] felt any uneasiness for her sister, or any resentment against Edward.
As Mrs. Jennings could only talk about that topic, Elinor quickly realized she needed to prepare Marianne for the conversation. There was no time to waste in setting her straight, making her aware of the real truth, and trying to help her be able to listen to others discuss it without showing that she[228] felt any worry for her sister or any anger toward Edward.
Elinor's office was a painful one. She was going to remove what she really believed to be her sister's chief consolation,—to give such particulars of Edward as she feared would ruin him for ever in her good opinion,-and to make Marianne, by a resemblance in their situations, which to her fancy would seem strong, feel all her own disappointment over again. But unwelcome as such a task must be, it was necessary to be done, and Elinor therefore hastened to perform it.
Elinor's office was a difficult one. She was about to take away what she truly believed to be her sister's main source of comfort—sharing details about Edward that she feared would forever damage his reputation in her eyes—and make Marianne, through a similarity in their situations that would feel very significant to her, relive all her disappointments. But as unwanted as this task was, it had to be done, so Elinor quickly set out to do it.
She was very far from wishing to dwell on her own feelings, or to represent herself as suffering much, any otherwise than as the self-command she had practised since her first knowledge of Edward's engagement, might suggest a hint of what was practicable to Marianne. Her narration was clear and simple; and though it could not be given without emotion, it was not accompanied by violent agitation, nor impetuous grief. That belonged rather to the hearer, for Marianne listened with horror, and cried excessively. Elinor was to be the comforter of others in her own distresses, no less than in theirs; and all the comfort that could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind, and a very earnest vindication of Edward from every charge but of imprudence, was readily offered.
She was nowhere near wanting to focus on her own feelings or to portray herself as suffering too much, other than what her self-control since she first learned about Edward's engagement might hint at to Marianne. Her story was clear and straightforward; and although it couldn’t be told without some emotion, it wasn’t filled with wild agitation or intense grief. That reaction was more for the listener, as Marianne was horrified and cried uncontrollably. Elinor had to be the one comforting others in her own troubles, just as much as in theirs; and all the comfort she could provide through her calm demeanor and a heartfelt defense of Edward against any accusations except for imprudence was quickly offered.
But Marianne for some time would give credit to neither. Edward seemed a second Willoughby; and acknowledging as Elinor did, that she had loved him most sincerely, could she feel less than herself! As for Lucy Steele, she considered her so totally unamiable, so absolutely incapable of attaching a sensible man, that she could not be persuaded at first to believe, and afterwards to pardon, any former affection of Edward for her. She would not even admit it to have been natural; and Elinor left her to be convinced that it was so, by that which only could convince her, a better knowledge of mankind.
But for a while, Marianne couldn't believe either of them. Edward seemed like another Willoughby; and, like Elinor, who admitted that she truly loved him, how could Marianne feel anything less than herself? As for Lucy Steele, she found her extremely unlikable and completely incapable of attracting a sensible man, so at first she couldn't believe, and later couldn't forgive, any past feelings Edward may have had for her. She wouldn't even accept that it was natural. Elinor let her come to realize the truth in the only way that would convince her: by understanding people better.
Her first communication had reached no farther than to state the fact of the engagement, and the length of time it had existed. Marianne's feelings had then broken in, and put an end to all regularity of detail; and for some time all that could be done was to soothe her distress, lessen her alarms, and combat[229] her resentment. The first question on her side, which led to farther particulars, was—
Her first message only mentioned the engagement and how long it had been going on. After that, Marianne's emotions took over, disrupting any sense of order in the details. For a while, all they could do was comfort her, ease her worries, and address her anger. The first question she asked, which led to more information, was—
"How long has this been known to you, Elinor? has he written to you?"
"How long have you known about this, Elinor? Has he written to you?"
"I have known it these four months. When Lucy first came to Barton Park last November, she told me in confidence of her engagement."
"I've known about it for four months. When Lucy first arrived at Barton Park last November, she confided in me about her engagement."
At these words, Marianne's eyes expressed the astonishment which her lips could not utter. After a pause of wonder, she exclaimed—
At this, Marianne's eyes showed the surprise that her lips couldn't express. After a moment of amazement, she exclaimed—
"Four months!—Have you known of this four months?"
"Four months! Have you been aware of this for four months?"
Elinor confirmed it.
Elinor verified it.
"What!—while attending me in all my misery, has this been on your heart?—And I have reproached you for being happy!"—
"What!—while you've been there for me during all my struggles, has this been on your mind?—And I've blamed you for being happy!"—
"It was not fit that you should then know how much I was the reverse!"
"It wasn’t right for you to know how different I actually was!"
"Four months!" cried Marianne again. "So calm! so cheerful! how have you been supported?"
"Four months!" Marianne exclaimed again. "So calm! So cheerful! How have you managed?"
"By feeling that I was doing my duty. My promise to Lucy, obliged me to be secret. I owed it to her, therefore, to avoid giving any hint of the truth; and I owed it to my family and friends, not to create in them a solicitude about me, which it could not be in my power to satisfy."
"By feeling that I was doing my duty. My promise to Lucy required me to keep it a secret. I owed it to her, so I avoided giving any hint of the truth; and I owed it to my family and friends not to make them worry about me in a way I couldn’t address."
Marianne seemed much struck.
Marianne seemed very impressed.
"I have very often wished to undeceive yourself and my mother," added Elinor; "and once or twice I have attempted it; but without betraying my trust, I never could have convinced you."
"I have often wanted to set you and my mom straight," Elinor added; "and I’ve tried a couple of times, but without breaking my promise, I could never have convinced you."
"Four months! and yet you loved him!"
"Four months! And you still loved him!"
"Yes. But I did not love only him;—and while the comfort of others was dear to me, I was glad to spare them from knowing how much I felt. Now, I can think and speak of it with little emotion. I would not have you suffer on my account; for I assure you I no longer suffer materially myself. I have many things to support me. I am not conscious of having provoked the disappointment by any imprudence of my own, I have borne it as much as possible without spreading it farther. I acquit Edward of essential misconduct. I wish him very happy; and I am so sure of his always doing his duty, that though now he may harbour some regret, in the end he must become so. Lucy does not want sense, and[230] that is the foundation on which every thing good may be built. And after all, Marianne, after all that is bewitching in the idea of a single and constant attachment, and all that can be said of one's happiness depending entirely on any particular person, it is not meant—it is not fit—it is not possible that it should be so. Edward will marry Lucy; he will marry a woman superior in person and understanding to half her sex; and time and habit will teach him to forget that he ever thought another superior to her."
"Yes. But I didn’t only love him; while I cared about the comfort of others, I was glad to keep them from knowing how deeply I felt. Now, I can think and talk about it with little emotion. I wouldn’t want you to suffer because of me; I promise I don’t really suffer anymore. I have many things to keep me going. I don’t believe I caused the disappointment through any mistakes of my own, and I’ve dealt with it as well as I could without spreading it further. I hold Edward blameless for any serious wrongdoing. I genuinely wish him happiness; and I’m confident he will always do what’s right, so even if he feels some regret now, in the end, he will come to terms with it. Lucy isn’t lacking in sense, and[230] that’s the foundation on which all good things can be built. And after all, Marianne, with all the charm in the idea of a single, constant attachment, and all the talk about our happiness depending completely on one specific person, it’s just not meant to be—it’s not right—it’s not possible for it to be that way. Edward will marry Lucy; he will marry a woman who is superior in looks and understanding to many of her peers; and over time, he will learn to forget that he ever thought anyone was better than her."
"If such is your way of thinking," said Marianne, "if the loss of what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else, your resolution, your self-command, are, perhaps, a little less to be wondered at. They are brought more within my comprehension."
"If that’s how you think," said Marianne, "if losing what matters most can be easily replaced by something else, then your determination and self-control are, perhaps, a bit less surprising. I can understand them better."
"I understand you. You do not suppose that I have ever felt much. For four months, Marianne, I have had all this hanging on my mind, without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature; knowing that it would make you and my mother most unhappy whenever it were explained to you, yet unable to prepare you for it in the least. It was told me,—it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself, whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects; and told me, as I thought, with triumph. This person's suspicions, therefore, I have had to oppose, by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested;—and it has not been only once;—I have had her hopes and exultation to listen to again and again. I have known myself to be divided from Edward for ever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection. Nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me. I have had to contend against the unkindness of his sister, and the insolence of his mother; and have suffered the punishment of an attachment, without enjoying its advantages. And all this has been going on at a time, when, as you know too well, it has not been my only unhappiness. If you can think me capable of ever feeling, surely you may suppose that I have suffered now. The composure of mind with which I have brought myself at present to consider the matter, the consolation that I have been willing to admit, have been the effect of constant and painful exertion; they did not spring up of themselves; they did not occur to relieve my[231] spirits at first. No, Marianne. Then, if I had not been bound to silence, perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely—not even what I owed to my dearest friends—from openly showing that I was very unhappy."—
"I get it. You think I haven't really felt much. For four months, Marianne, I've had all this weighing on my mind, unable to talk about it with anyone; knowing it would upset you and my mom if you ever found out, yet not being able to prepare you for it at all. It was told to me—it was almost forced on me by the very person whose prior commitment ruined all my chances; and she told me as if she was proud of it. Because of her, I've had to act indifferent when I've been extremely invested; and it's not just once—I've had to listen to her hopes and excitement over and over again. I've known I was separated from Edward forever, without hearing anything that could make me want the relationship less. Nothing has shown him to be unworthy, nor has anything indicated he is indifferent to me. I've had to deal with his sister's harshness and his mother's arrogance; and I've felt the pain of being attached without experiencing any of its joy. And all of this has been happening at a time when, as you know all too well, it's not my only source of unhappiness. If you can believe that I can feel, surely you must think that I’ve suffered now. The calmness I've managed to adopt while thinking about it, the comfort I've allowed myself to feel, are the results of constant and painful effort; they didn't just appear on their own; they didn't come to ease my[231] spirits at first. No, Marianne. Then, if I hadn’t been forced to stay quiet, maybe nothing could have stopped me—not even what I owe to my closest friends—from openly showing that I was very unhappy."—
Marianne was quite subdued.
Marianne was pretty quiet.
"Oh! Elinor," she cried, "you have made me hate myself for ever. How barbarous have I been to you!—you, who have been my only comfort, who have borne with me in all my misery, who have seemed to be only suffering for me! Is this my gratitude? Is this the only return I can make you? Because your merit cries out upon myself, I have been trying to do it away."
"Oh! Elinor," she exclaimed, "you've made me hate myself forever. How cruel have I been to you!—you, who have been my only comfort, who have put up with me through all my misery, who have seemed to only suffer for me! Is this my gratitude? Is this the only way I can repay you? Because your goodness highlights my flaws, I've been trying to deny it."
The tenderest caresses followed this confession. In such a frame of mind as she was now in, Elinor had no difficulty in obtaining from her whatever promise she required; and at her request, Marianne engaged never to speak of the affair to any one with the least appearance of bitterness;—to meet Lucy without betraying the smallest increase of dislike to her;—and even to see Edward himself, if chance should bring them together, without any diminution of her usual cordiality. These were great concessions;—but where Marianne felt that she had injured, no reparation could be too much for her to make.
The gentlest touches followed this confession. In the mindset she was in now, Elinor had no trouble getting from her whatever promise she needed; and at her request, Marianne agreed to never speak about the situation to anyone with even a hint of bitterness;—to meet Lucy without showing any increased dislike toward her;—and even to see Edward himself, if they happened to cross paths, without any decrease in her usual warmth. These were significant sacrifices;—but where Marianne felt she had caused harm, no effort to make amends was too great for her.
She performed her promise of being discreet, to admiration. She attended to all that Mrs. Jennings had to say upon the subject, with an unchanging complexion, dissented from her in nothing, and was heard three times to say, "Yes, ma'am."—She listened to her praise of Lucy with only moving from one chair to another, and when Mrs. Jennings talked of Edward's affection, it cost her only a spasm in her throat. Such advances towards heroism in her sister, made Elinor feel equal to any thing herself.
She kept her promise to be discreet, earning admiration for it. She paid attention to everything Mrs. Jennings said on the topic, her expression remaining unchanged, never disagreed with her, and was heard saying, "Yes, ma'am," three times. She listened to Mrs. Jennings praise Lucy without shifting in her seat, and when Mrs. Jennings spoke about Edward's feelings, all it took was a brief tightening in her throat. Recognizing such bravery in her sister made Elinor feel capable of anything herself.
The next morning brought a farther trial of it, in a visit from their brother, who came with a most serious aspect to talk over the dreadful affair, and bring them news of his wife.
The next morning brought another test, with a visit from their brother, who arrived with a very serious look to discuss the terrible situation and update them about his wife.
"You have heard, I suppose," said he with great solemnity, as soon as he was seated, "of the very shocking discovery that took place under our roof yesterday."
"You've heard, I guess," he said with a serious tone, once he was seated, "about the really shocking discovery that happened in our home yesterday."
They all looked their assent; it seemed too awful a moment for speech.
They all nodded in agreement; it felt like such a terrible moment for words.
"Your sister," he continued, "has suffered dreadfully. Mrs. Ferrars too—in short it has been a scene of such complicated [233]distress—but I will hope that the storm may be weathered without our being any of us quite overcome. Poor Fanny! she was in hysterics all yesterday. But I would not alarm you too much. Donavan says there is nothing materially to be apprehended; her constitution is a good one, and her resolution equal to any thing. She has borne it all, with the fortitude of an angel! She says she never shall think well of anybody again; and one cannot wonder at it, after being so deceived!—meeting with such ingratitude, where so much kindness had been shown, so much confidence had been placed! It was quite out of the benevolence of her heart, that she had asked these young women to her house; merely because she thought they deserved some attention, were harmless, well-behaved girls, and would be pleasant companions; for otherwise we both wished very much to have invited you and Marianne to be with us, while your kind friend there, was attending her daughter. And now to be so rewarded! 'I wish, with all my heart,' says poor Fanny in her affectionate way, 'that we had asked your sisters instead of them.'"
"Your sister," he continued, "has been through so much. Mrs. Ferrars too—in short, it has been a situation of such complicated [233] distress—but I hope the storm can be weathered without any of us being completely overwhelmed. Poor Fanny! She was in hysterics all yesterday. But I don't want to worry you too much. Donavan says there’s nothing serious to be concerned about; her health is good, and her determination is strong. She's handled everything with the courage of an angel! She says she'll never trust anyone again; and it’s hard to blame her after being so misled! After experiencing such ingratitude, where so much kindness was shown and confidence given! It was solely out of the goodness of her heart that she invited those young women to her home; she thought they deserved some attention, were harmless, well-mannered girls, and would be enjoyable company; because otherwise, we both really wanted to invite you and Marianne to be with us while your kind friend there was looking after her daughter. And now to be rewarded like this! 'I wish, with all my heart,' poor Fanny says in her affectionate way, 'that we had asked your sisters instead of them.'"
Here he stopped to be thanked; which being done, he went on.
Here he paused to receive thanks; once that was done, he continued on.
"What poor Mrs. Ferrars suffered, when first Fanny broke it to her, is not to be described. While she with the truest affection had been planning a most eligible connection for him, was it to be supposed that he could be all the time secretly engaged to another person!—such a suspicion could never have entered her head! If she suspected any prepossession elsewhere, it could not be in that quarter. 'There to be sure,' said she, 'I might have thought myself safe.' She was quite in an agony. We consulted together, however, as to what should be done, and at last she determined to send for Edward. He came. But I am sorry to relate what ensued. All that Mrs. Ferrars could say to make him put an end to the engagement, assisted too as you may well suppose by my arguments, and Fanny's entreaties, was of no avail. Duty, affection, every thing was disregarded. I never thought Edward so stubborn, so unfeeling before. His mother explained to him her liberal designs, in case of his marrying Miss Morton; told him she would settle on him the Norfolk estate, which, clear of land-tax, brings in a good thousand a-year; offered even, when matters grew desperate, to make it[234] twelve hundred; and in opposition to this, if he still persisted in this low connection, represented to him the certain penury that must attend the match. His own two thousand pounds she protested should be his all; she would never see him again; and so far would she be from affording him the smallest assistance, that if he were to enter into any profession with a view of better support, she would do all in her power to prevent him advancing in it."
"What poor Mrs. Ferrars went through when Fanny first told her is beyond description. While she was genuinely trying to arrange a great match for him, could she really think he was secretly engaged to someone else the whole time? That thought would never have crossed her mind! If she suspected any kind of feelings elsewhere, it definitely wouldn’t have been there. 'There, I would have thought I was safe,' she said. She was completely in distress. We talked about what to do and finally, she decided to send for Edward. He came. But I’m sorry to say what happened next. Despite everything Mrs. Ferrars could say to convince him to end the engagement, along with my arguments and Fanny's pleas, it did no good. Duty, affection—none of it mattered. I never thought Edward could be so stubborn and so insensitive. His mother laid out her generous plans if he married Miss Morton, telling him she would give him the Norfolk estate, which, after land tax, brings in a good thousand a year; she even offered him, when things grew desperate, to make it twelve hundred. And against this, if he still insisted on this low match, she pointed out the certain poverty that would follow. She insisted that his own two thousand pounds would be all he had; she would never see him again, and far from giving him the smallest help, if he tried to pursue any profession for a better future, she would do everything she could to hold him back."
Here Marianne, in an ecstasy of indignation, clapped her hands together, and cried, "Gracious God! can this be possible!"
Here Marianne, in a fit of anger, clapped her hands together and exclaimed, "Oh my God! Is this really happening!"
"Well may you wonder, Marianne," replied her brother, "at the obstinacy which could resist such arguments as these. Your exclamation is very natural."
"Well, you might be surprised, Marianne," her brother replied, "at the stubbornness that could ignore arguments like these. Your reaction is completely understandable."
Marianne was going to retort, but she remembered her promises, and forbore.
Marianne was about to respond, but she remembered her promises and held back.
"All this, however," he continued, "was urged in vain. Edward said very little; but what he did say, was in the most determined manner. Nothing should prevail on him to give up his engagement. He would stand to it, cost him what it might."
"All this, however," he continued, "was said in vain. Edward didn’t say much, but when he did, he was very resolute. Nothing would make him break off his engagement. He would stick to it, no matter what it cost him."
"Then," cried Mrs. Jennings with blunt sincerity, no longer able to be silent, "he has acted like an honest man! I beg your pardon, Mr. Dashwood, but if he had done otherwise, I should have thought him a rascal. I have some little concern in the business, as well as yourself, for Lucy Steele is my cousin, and I believe there is not a better kind of girl in the world, nor one who more deserves a good husband."
"Then," shouted Mrs. Jennings with straightforward honesty, unable to keep quiet any longer, "he has acted like an honest man! I apologize, Mr. Dashwood, but if he had done anything else, I would have considered him a scoundrel. I have a bit of a stake in this, just like you do, because Lucy Steele is my cousin, and I truly believe there isn't a better girl out there, nor one who deserves a good husband more."
John Dashwood was greatly astonished; but his nature was calm, not open to provocation, and he never wished to offend anybody, especially anybody of good fortune. He therefore replied, without any resentment—
John Dashwood was very surprised, but his personality was calm and not easily provoked. He never wanted to upset anyone, especially those who were well-off. So he responded without any bitterness—
"I would by no means speak disrespectfully of any relation of yours, madam. Miss Lucy Steele is, I dare say, a very deserving young woman, but in the present case you know, the connection must be impossible. And to have entered into a secret engagement with a young man under her uncle's care, the son of a woman especially of such very large fortune as Mrs. Ferrars, is perhaps, altogether a little extraordinary. In short, I do not mean to reflect upon the behaviour of any person whom you have a regard for, Mrs. Jennings. We[235] all wish her extremely happy; and Mrs. Ferrars's conduct throughout the whole, has been such as every conscientious, good mother, in like circumstances, would adopt. It has been dignified and liberal. Edward has drawn his own lot, and I fear it will be a bad one."
"I would never disrespect anyone related to you, ma'am. Miss Lucy Steele is, I believe, a very worthy young woman, but in this situation, you know the connection is impossible. Moreover, to have entered into a secret engagement with a young man under her uncle's care, the son of a woman with such great wealth as Mrs. Ferrars, is, I think, rather unusual. In short, I'm not criticizing the behavior of anyone you care about, Mrs. Jennings. We all sincerely wish her happiness, and Mrs. Ferrars's actions throughout this have been what any decent, responsible mother would do in similar circumstances. She has acted with dignity and generosity. Edward has secured his own future, and I fear it may not be a good one."
Marianne sighed out her similar apprehension; and Elinor's heart wrung for the feelings of Edward, while braving his mother's threats, for a woman who could not reward him.
Marianne sighed, feeling the same anxiety, and Elinor's heart ached for Edward, as he faced his mother's threats for a woman who couldn't give him anything in return.
"Well, sir," said Mrs. Jennings, "and how did it end?"
"Well, sir," Mrs. Jennings said, "how did it end?"
"I am sorry to say, ma'am, in a most unhappy rupture:—Edward is dismissed for ever from his mother's notice. He left her house yesterday, but where he is gone, or whether he is still in town, I do not know; for we of course can make no inquiry."
"I’m sorry to say, ma’am, in a very unfortunate situation:—Edward is permanently cut off from his mother’s attention. He left her house yesterday, but I don’t know where he’s gone or if he’s still in town; because we obviously can’t ask."
"Poor young man!—and what is to become of him?"
"Poor young guy!—and what's going to happen to him?"
"What, indeed, ma'am! It is a melancholy consideration. Born to the prospect of such affluence! I cannot conceive a situation more deplorable. The interest of two thousand pounds—how can a man live on it?—and when to that is added the recollection, that he might, but for his own folly, within three months have been in the receipt of two thousand, five hundred a-year (for Miss Morton has thirty thousand pounds,) I cannot picture to myself a more wretched condition. We must all feel for him; and the more so, because it is totally out of our power to assist him."
"What, indeed, ma'am! It's a sad thought. Born into such wealth! I can't imagine a worse situation. The interest on two thousand pounds—how can anyone survive on that?—and on top of that, remembering that he could have, if not for his own mistakes, been receiving two thousand five hundred a year (since Miss Morton has thirty thousand pounds), I can’t envision a more miserable state. We all have to feel for him, especially since we can't help him at all."
"Poor young man!" cried Mrs. Jennings, "I am sure he should be very welcome to bed and board at my house; and so I would tell him if I could see him. It is not fit that he should be living about at his own charge now, at lodgings and taverns."
"Poor young man!" exclaimed Mrs. Jennings, "I'm sure he would be very welcome to stay at my place; I would tell him so if I could see him. It's not right for him to be living on his own, paying for lodgings and inns."
Elinor's heart thanked her for such kindness towards Edward, though she could not forbear smiling at the form of it.
Elinor's heart appreciated her kindness toward Edward, although she couldn't help but smile at how it was expressed.
"If he would only have done as well by himself," said John Dashwood, "as all his friends were disposed to do by him, he might now have been in his proper situation, and would have wanted for nothing. But as it is, it must be out of anybody's power to assist him. And there is one thing more preparing against him, which must be worse than all—his mother has determined, with a very natural kind of spirit, to settle that estate upon Robert immediately, which might have been Edward's, on proper conditions. I left her this morning with her lawyer, talking over the business."
"If he had only taken better care of himself," said John Dashwood, "as all his friends were willing to do for him, he could be in a good position now and wouldn't be lacking anything. But as it stands, it's beyond anyone's ability to help him. And there's one more thing working against him, which will be worse than everything else—his mother has decided, with a very understandable mindset, to hand over that estate to Robert right away, which could have been Edward's under the right conditions. I left her this morning with her lawyer, discussing the matter."
"Well!" said Mrs. Jennings, "that is her revenge. Everybody has a way of their own. But I don't think mine would be, to make one son independent, because another had plagued me."
"Well!" said Mrs. Jennings, "that is her revenge. Everyone has their own way of handling things. But I don't think mine would be to make one son independent just because another had given me a hard time."
Marianne got up and walked about the room.
Marianne stood up and walked around the room.
"Can anything be more galling to the spirit of a man," continued John, "than to see his younger brother in possession of an estate which might have been his own? Poor Edward! I feel for him sincerely."
"Can anything be more frustrating for a man," John continued, "than to see his younger brother owning an estate that could have been his? Poor Edward! I genuinely feel for him."
A few minutes more spent in the same kind of effusion, concluded his visit; and with repeated assurances to his sisters that he really believed there was no material danger in Fanny's indisposition, and that they need not therefore be very uneasy about it, he went away; leaving the three ladies unanimous in their sentiments on the present occasion, as far at least as it regarded Mrs. Ferrars's conduct, the Dashwoods', and Edward's.
A few more minutes of the same kind of conversation wrapped up his visit, and with repeated reassurances to his sisters that he truly believed there was no serious danger in Fanny's illness, and that they didn’t need to worry too much about it, he left. This left the three women in full agreement about the current situation, at least regarding Mrs. Ferrars's actions, the Dashwoods, and Edward.
Marianne's indignation burst forth as soon as he quitted the room; and as her vehemence made reserve impossible in Elinor, and unnecessary in Mrs. Jennings, they all joined in a very spirited critique upon the party.
Marianne's anger erupted as soon as he left the room; and since her intensity made it impossible for Elinor to hold back, and unnecessary for Mrs. Jennings to do so, they all engaged in a lively discussion about the gathering.
CHAPTER XXXVIII
Mrs. Jennings was very warm in her praise of Edward's conduct, but only Elinor and Marianne understood its true merit. They only knew how little he had had to tempt him to be disobedient, and how small was the consolation, beyond the consciousness of doing right, that could remain to him in the loss of friends and fortune. Elinor gloried in his integrity; and Marianne forgave all his offences in compassion for his punishment. But though confidence between them was, by this public discovery, restored to its proper state, it was not a subject on which either of them were fond of dwelling when alone. Elinor avoided it upon principle, as tending to fix still more upon her thoughts, by the too warm,[238] too positive assurances of Marianne, that belief of Edward's continued affection for herself which she rather wished to do away; and Marianne's courage soon failed her, in trying to converse upon a topic which always left her more dissatisfied with herself than ever, by the comparison it necessarily produced between Elinor's conduct and her own.
Mrs. Jennings praised Edward's behavior warmly, but only Elinor and Marianne recognized its true value. They understood how little temptation he faced to be disobedient and how minimal the consolation, beyond knowing he did the right thing, that remained to him after losing friends and fortune. Elinor took pride in his integrity, while Marianne forgave all his mistakes out of sympathy for his suffering. But although their trust in each other was restored after this public revelation, it wasn’t a topic either of them liked to discuss when they were alone. Elinor intentionally avoided it, as Marianne’s overly enthusiastic and certain reassurances only reinforced her thoughts about Edward’s enduring feelings for her, which she actually wished to forget. Marianne quickly lost her confidence when trying to talk about a subject that always left her feeling worse about herself because it inevitably compared her actions to Elinor's.
She felt all the force of that comparison; but not as her sister had hoped, to urge her to exertion now; she felt it with all the pain of continual self-reproach, regretted most bitterly that she had never exerted herself before; but it brought only the torture of penitence, without the hope of amendment. Her mind was so much weakened that she still fancied present exertion impossible, and therefore it only dispirited her more.
She felt the weight of that comparison, but not in the way her sister had hoped to motivate her to take action now; instead, she felt it with the deep pain of constant self-blame, regretting more than anything that she hadn't pushed herself before. But it only brought her the agony of remorse, with no hope for change. Her mind was so drained that she still thought any current effort was impossible, which only made her feel more discouraged.
Nothing new was heard by them, for a day or two afterwards, of affairs in Harley Street, or Bartlett's Buildings. But though so much of the matter was known to them already, that Mrs. Jennings might have had enough to do in spreading that knowledge farther, without seeking after more, she had resolved from the first to pay a visit of comfort and inquiry to her cousins as soon as she could; and nothing but the hindrance of more visitors than usual, had prevented her going to them within that time.
Nothing new reached them for a day or two about what was happening on Harley Street or Bartlett's Buildings. Even though they already knew quite a bit about the situation and Mrs. Jennings could have focused on sharing that information further instead of looking for more, she had decided from the start to visit her cousins to offer comfort and ask how they were doing as soon as she could. Only the unexpected influx of visitors had kept her from going to see them sooner.
The third day succeeding their knowledge of the particulars, was so fine, so beautiful a Sunday as to draw many to Kensington Gardens, though it was only the second week in March. Mrs. Jennings and Elinor were of the number; but Marianne, who knew that the Willoughbys were again in town, and had a constant dread of meeting them, chose rather to stay at home, than venture into so public a place.
The third day after they learned the details was such a beautiful Sunday that many people went to Kensington Gardens, even though it was only the second week in March. Mrs. Jennings and Elinor were among them; however, Marianne, who knew the Willoughbys were back in town and was always worried about running into them, preferred to stay home rather than risk going to such a crowded place.
An intimate acquaintance of Mrs. Jennings joined them soon after they entered the Gardens, and Elinor was not sorry that by her continuing with them, and engaging all Mrs. Jennings's conversation, she was herself left to quiet reflection. She saw nothing of the Willoughbys, nothing of Edward, and for some time nothing of anybody who could by any chance whether grave or gay, be interesting to her. But at last she found herself with some surprise, accosted by Miss Steele, who, though looking rather shy, expressed great satisfaction in meeting them, and on receiving encouragement from the particular kindness of Mrs. Jennings, left her own party for a[239] short time, to join their's. Mrs. Jennings immediately whispered to Elinor—
An acquaintance of Mrs. Jennings joined them shortly after they arrived at the Gardens, and Elinor was glad that by her staying with them and taking up all of Mrs. Jennings's conversation, she could have some quiet time to herself. She didn’t see the Willoughbys, didn’t see Edward, and for a while didn’t see anyone who might, in any way, whether serious or cheerful, be interesting to her. But eventually, she was surprised when Miss Steele approached her. Though she seemed a bit shy, she was very happy to see them, and with some encouragement from Mrs. Jennings, she left her own group for a[239] short while to join theirs. Mrs. Jennings immediately whispered to Elinor—
"Get it all out of her, my dear. She will tell you any thing if you ask. You see I cannot leave Mrs. Clarke."
"Get everything out of her, my dear. She’ll tell you anything if you ask. You see, I can't leave Mrs. Clarke."
It was lucky, however, for Mrs. Jennings's curiosity and Elinor's too, that she would tell any thing without being asked; for nothing would otherwise have been learnt.
It was fortunate, though, for Mrs. Jennings’s curiosity and Elinor’s too, that she would share anything without being prompted; otherwise, nothing would have been discovered.
"I am so glad to meet you;" said Miss Steele, taking her familiarly by the arm—"for I wanted to see you of all things in the world." And then lowering her voice, "I suppose Mrs. Jennings has heard all about it. Is she angry?"
"I’m so glad to meet you," said Miss Steele, casually linking her arm with hers. "I really wanted to see you more than anything else." Then, lowering her voice, she asked, "I assume Mrs. Jennings has heard all about it. Is she upset?"
"Not at all, I believe, with you."
"Not at all, I don’t believe, with you."
"That is a good thing. And Lady Middleton, is she angry?"
"That's a good thing. And is Lady Middleton angry?"
"I cannot suppose it possible that she should."
"I can't see her doing that."
"I am monstrous glad of it. Good gracious! I have had such a time of it! I never saw Lucy in such a rage in my life. She vowed at first she would never trim me up a new bonnet, nor do any thing else for me again, so long as she lived; but now she is quite come to, and we are as good friends as ever. Look, she made me this bow to my hat, and put in the feather last night. There now, you are going to laugh at me too. But why should not I wear pink ribbons? I do not care if it is the Doctor's favourite colour. I am sure, for my part, I should never have known he did like it better than any other colour, if he had not happened to say so. My cousins have been so plaguing me! I declare sometimes I do not know which way to look before them."
"I'm so incredibly glad about this. Goodness! It's been such a time for me! I've never seen Lucy so angry in my life. She initially swore she would never make me a new hat or do anything else for me again as long as she lived, but now she's totally fine, and we're good friends again. Look, she made me this bow for my hat and added the feather last night. Now you're going to laugh at me too. But why shouldn't I wear pink ribbons? I don't care if it's the Doctor's favorite color. Honestly, I wouldn't have even known he liked it more than any other color if he hadn't mentioned it. My cousins have been such a pain! Sometimes I honestly don't know which way to look around them."
She had wandered away to a subject on which Elinor had nothing to say, and therefore soon judged it expedient to find her way back again to the first.
She had drifted off to a topic that Elinor couldn’t comment on, so she quickly decided it was best to return to the original subject.
"Well, but Miss Dashwood," speaking triumphantly, "people may say what they choose about Mr. Ferrars's declaring he would not have Lucy, for it is no such thing I can tell you; and it is quite a shame for such ill-natured reports to be spread abroad. Whatever Lucy might think about it herself, you know, it was no business of other people to set it down for certain."
"Well, Miss Dashwood," she said triumphantly, "people can say whatever they want about Mr. Ferrars claiming he wouldn't be with Lucy, but I can assure you that's not true; it's really too bad that such mean-spirited rumors get spread around. No matter what Lucy might think about it, it’s no one else's place to assume it’s a fact."
"I never heard any thing of the kind hinted at before, I assure you," said Elinor.
"I’ve never heard anything like that suggested before, I promise you," said Elinor.
"Oh, did not you? But it was said, I know, very well, [241]and by more than one; for Miss Godby told Miss Sparks, that nobody in their senses could expect Mr. Ferrars to give up a woman like Miss Morton, with thirty thousand pounds to her fortune, for Lucy Steele that had nothing at all; and I had it from Miss Sparks myself. And besides that, my cousin Richard said himself, that when it came to the point he was afraid Mr. Ferrars would be off; and when Edward did not come near us for three days, I could not tell what to think myself; and I believe in my heart Lucy gave it up all for lost; for we came away from your brother's Wednesday, and we saw nothing of him not all Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and did not know what was become of him. Once Lucy thought to write to him, but then her spirits rose against that. However this morning he came just as we came home from church; and then it all came out, how he had been sent for Wednesday to Harley Street, and been talked to by his mother and all of them, and how he had declared before them all that he loved nobody but Lucy, and nobody but Lucy would he have. And how he had been so worried by what passed, that as soon as he had went away from his mother's house, he had got upon his horse, and rid into the country, some where or other; and how he had stayed about at an inn all Thursday and Friday, on purpose to get the better of it. And after thinking it all over and over again, he said, it seemed to him as if, now he had no fortune, and no nothing at all, it would be quite unkind to keep her on to the engagement, because it must be for her loss, for he had nothing but two thousand pounds, and no hope of any thing else; and if he was to go into orders, as he had some thoughts, he could get nothing but a curacy, and how was they to live upon that?—He could not bear to think of her doing no better, and so he begged, if she had the least mind for it, to put an end to the matter directly, and leave him shift for himself. I heard him say all this as plain as could possibly be. And it was entirely for her sake, and upon her account, that he said a word about being off, and not upon his own. I will take my oath he never dropt a syllable of being tired of her, or of wishing to marry Miss Morton, or any thing like it. But, to be sure, Lucy would not give ear to such kind of talking; so she told him directly (with a great deal about sweet and love, you know, and all[242] that—Oh, la! one can't repeat such kind of things you know)—she told him directly, she had not the least mind in the world to be off, for she could live with him upon a trifle, and how little so ever he might have, she should be very glad to have it all, you know, or something of the kind. So then he was monstrous happy, and talked on some time about what they should do, and they agreed he should take orders directly, and they must wait to be married till he got a living. And just then I could not hear any more, for my cousin called from below to tell me Mrs. Richardson was come in her coach, and would take one of us to Kensington Gardens; so I was forced to go into the room and interrupt them, to ask Lucy if she would like to go, but she did not care to leave Edward; so I just run up stairs and put on a pair of silk stockings and came off with the Richardsons."
"Oh, didn’t you? But it *was* said, I know, very well, [241] and by more than one person; Miss Godby told Miss Sparks that no one in their right mind could expect Mr. Ferrars to give up a woman like Miss Morton, who had thirty thousand pounds to her name, for Lucy Steele, who had nothing at all; and I heard it from Miss Sparks myself. Besides that, my cousin Richard said that when it came down to it, he was afraid Mr. Ferrars would bail. And when Edward didn’t come near us for three days, I didn’t know what to think; and I truly believe Lucy thought it was all over; because we left your brother's place on Wednesday, and we didn’t see him at all on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, and we had no idea what happened to him. Once Lucy thought about writing to him, but then she decided against it. However, this morning he showed up just as we got home from church; and then it all came out, how he had been called to Harley Street on Wednesday and talked to by his mother and everyone else, and how he declared to them all that he loved nobody but Lucy and nobody but Lucy would he have. And how he had been so stressed by everything that as soon as he left his mother’s house, he got on his horse and rode out into the countryside, somewhere. And how he hung around an inn all Thursday and Friday, trying to sort it all out. After thinking it over again and again, he said it seemed like, since he had no fortune and nothing at all, it would be really unfair to keep her on the hook because it could only lead to her loss, since he had only two thousand pounds and no hope of anything else; and if he were to take orders, as he was considering, he would only get a curacy, and how were they going to live on that? He couldn’t stand the thought of her not doing better, so he begged her, if she had the slightest inclination, to end things right away and let him figure it out himself. I heard him say all this as clearly as possible. And it was entirely for *her* sake, and for *her* benefit, that he mentioned wanting to bow out, not for himself. I swear he never uttered a syllable about being tired of her or wishing to marry Miss Morton, or anything like that. But, of course, Lucy wouldn’t listen to that kind of talk; so she told him outright (with a lot of sweet words and love, you know, and all [242] that—oh, goodness! You can’t repeat that kind of thing, you know)—she told him straight up she had no intention of breaking things off, because she could live with him on very little, and no matter how little he had, she would be very happy to have it all, you know, or something like that. So then he was extremely happy, and they talked for a while about what they should do, and they agreed he should take orders right away, and they would have to wait to get married until he secured a living. Just then I couldn’t hear anymore, because my cousin called from downstairs to tell me Mrs. Richardson had arrived in her coach and would take one of us to Kensington Gardens; so I had to go into the room and interrupt them to ask Lucy if she wanted to go, but she didn’t want to leave Edward; so I just ran upstairs, put on a pair of silk stockings, and went off with the Richardsons."
"I do not understand what you mean by interrupting them," said Elinor; "you were all in the same room together, were not you?"
"I don't get what you mean by interrupting them," Elinor said; "you were all in the same room together, weren't you?"
"No, indeed, not us. La! Miss Dashwood, do you think people make love when any body else is by? Oh, for shame!—To be sure you must know better than that. (Laughing affectedly.)—No, no; they were shut up in the drawing-room together, and all I heard was only by listening at the door."
"No way, definitely not us. Oh, Miss Dashwood, do you really think people get romantic when someone else is around? That's just wrong!—You must know better than that. (Laughing in a fake way.)—No, no; they were alone in the living room, and all I overheard was by eavesdropping at the door."
"How!" cried Elinor; "have you been repeating to me what you only learnt yourself by listening at the door? I am sorry I did not know it before; for I certainly would not have suffered you to give me particulars of a conversation which you ought not to have known yourself. How could you behave so unfairly by your sister?"
"How could you!" Elinor exclaimed. "Did you just tell me something you only heard by eavesdropping? I wish I had known earlier because I definitely wouldn’t have let you share details of a conversation that you had no right to know. How could you act so unfairly towards your sister?"
"Oh, la! there is nothing in that. I only stood at the door, and heard what I could. And I am sure Lucy would have done just the same by me; for a year or two back, when Martha Sharpe and I had so many secrets together, she never made any bones of hiding in a closet, or behind a chimney-board, on purpose to hear what we said."
"Oh, come on! There's nothing to that. I just stood by the door and listened to what I could. And I'm sure Lucy would have done the same for me; a year or two ago, when Martha Sharpe and I had all those secrets, she had no problem hiding in a closet or behind a chimney to hear what we were saying."
Elinor tried to talk of something else; but Miss Steele could not be kept beyond a couple of minutes, from what was uppermost in her mind.
Elinor tried to change the subject, but Miss Steele couldn't be distracted for more than a couple of minutes from what was on her mind.
"Edward talks of going to Oxford soon," said she; "but now he is lodging at No. —, Pall Mall. What an ill-natured woman his mother is, an't she? And your [244]brother and sister were not very kind! However, I shan't say anything against them to you; and to be sure they did send us home in their own chariot, which was more than I looked for. And for my part, I was all in a fright for fear your sister should ask us for the huswifes she had gave us a day or two before; but, however, nothing was said about them, and I took care to keep mine out of sight. Edward have got some business at Oxford, he says; so he must go there for a time; and after that, as soon as he can light upon a Bishop, he will be ordained. I wonder what curacy he will get! Good gracious! (giggling as she spoke) I'd lay my life I know what my cousins will say, when they hear of it. They will tell me I should write to the Doctor, to get Edward the curacy of his new living. I know they will; but I am sure I would not do such a thing for all the world. 'La!' I shall say directly, 'I wonder how you could think of such a thing? I write to the Doctor, indeed!'"
"Edward says he’ll be heading to Oxford soon," she said. "But right now, he’s staying at No. —, Pall Mall. His mother is such a nasty piece of work, isn’t she? And your [244] brother and sister weren’t very nice either! But I won’t say anything bad about them to you; they did send us home in their own carriage, which I didn’t expect at all. As for me, I was so worried that your sister would ask us about the household items she gave us a couple of days ago; fortunately, it wasn’t brought up, and I made sure to keep mine hidden. Edward says he has some business at Oxford, so he has to go there for a while; and after that, as soon as he finds a Bishop, he’ll be ordained. I wonder what position he’ll get! Goodness! (giggling as she spoke) I bet I know what my cousins will say when they hear about it. They'll tell me I should write to the Doctor to get Edward the curacy for his new living. I just know they will; but I would never do such a thing for all the tea in China. 'Goodness!' I’ll say right away, 'How could you even think of that? Write to the Doctor, please!'"
"Well," said Elinor, "it is a comfort to be prepared against the worst. You have got your answer ready."
"Well," Elinor said, "it's comforting to be ready for the worst. You've got your answer all set."
Miss Steele was going to reply on the same subject, but the approach of her own party made another more necessary.
Miss Steele was about to respond on the same topic, but the arrival of her own group made another reply more urgent.
"Oh, la! here come the Richardsons. I had a vast deal more to say to you, but I must not stay away from them not any longer. I assure you they are very genteel people. He makes a monstrous deal of money, and they keep their own coach. I have not time to speak to Mrs. Jennings about it myself, but pray tell her I am quite happy to hear she is not in anger against us, and Lady Middleton the same; and if anything should happen to take you and your sister away, and Mrs. Jennings should want company, I am sure we should be very glad to come and stay with her for as long a time as she likes. I suppose Lady Middleton won't ask us any more this bout. Good-bye; I am sorry Miss Marianne was not here. Remember me kindly to her. La! if you have not got your spotted muslin on!—I wonder you was not afraid of its being torn."
"Oh, look! Here come the Richardsons. I had a lot more to say to you, but I can't stay away from them any longer. I assure you they're very respectable people. He makes a ton of money, and they have their own carriage. I don't have time to talk to Mrs. Jennings about it myself, but please tell her I’m really happy to hear she’s not upset with us, and the same goes for Lady Middleton; and if anything happens that takes you and your sister away, and Mrs. Jennings needs company, I’m sure we’d be very happy to come and stay with her for as long as she likes. I guess Lady Middleton won’t invite us again this time. Goodbye; I’m sorry Miss Marianne wasn’t here. Please remember me to her. Oh! If you haven’t got your spotted muslin on!—I wonder you weren’t worried about it getting torn."
Such was her parting concern; for after this, she had time only to pay her farewell compliments to Mrs. Jennings, before her company was claimed by Mrs. Richardson; and Elinor was left in possession of knowledge which might feed her powers of reflection some time, though she had learnt very little more than what had been already foreseen and foreplanned[245] in her own mind. Edward's marriage with Lucy was as firmly determined on, and the time of its taking place remained as absolutely uncertain, as she had concluded it would be;—every thing depended, exactly after her expectation, on his getting that preferment, of which, at present, there seemed not the smallest chance.
That was her final concern; after this, she only had time to say goodbye to Mrs. Jennings before Mrs. Richardson took her away. Elinor was left with knowledge that would fuel her thoughts for a while, even though she hadn’t learned much more than she had already anticipated in her mind. Edward’s marriage to Lucy was just as firmly decided, and the timing was still completely uncertain, just as she had expected; everything depended, exactly as she thought, on him getting that promotion, which at the moment seemed like a long shot.[245]
As soon as they returned to the carriage, Mrs. Jennings was eager for information; but as Elinor wished to spread as little as possible intelligence that had in the first place been so unfairly obtained, she confined herself to the brief repetition of such simple particulars, as she felt assured that Lucy, for the sake of her own consequence, would choose to have known. The continuance of their engagement, and the means that were able to be taken for promoting its end, was all her communication; and this produced from Mrs. Jennings the following natural remark:—
As soon as they got back to the carriage, Mrs. Jennings was eager for information; but since Elinor wanted to keep to a minimum the sharing of details that had been so unfairly obtained in the first place, she limited herself to briefly repeating only the simple facts that she was sure Lucy would want to know for her own sake. The ongoing nature of their engagement and the ways to support it were all she shared, which led Mrs. Jennings to make the following natural comment:—
"Wait for his having a living!—ay, we all know how that will end:—they will wait a twelvemonth, and finding no good comes of it, will set down upon a curacy of fifty pounds a-year, with the interest of his two thousand pounds, and what little matter Mr. Steele and Mr. Pratt can give her. Then they will have a child every year! and Lord help 'em! how poor they will be!—I must see what I can give them towards furnishing their house. Two maids and two men, indeed!—as I talked of t'other day. No, no, they must get a stout girl of all works. Betty's sister would never do for them now."
"Wait for him to have a job!—yeah, we all know how that will go:—they'll wait a year, and when nothing good comes of it, they'll settle for a church position paying fifty pounds a year, along with the interest from his two thousand pounds, and whatever little Mr. Steele and Mr. Pratt can offer her. Then they’ll be having a kid every year! And God help them! How poor they'll be!—I should see what I can give them to help furnish their house. Two maids and two men, really!—just like I mentioned the other day. No, they need to find a strong girl to do everything. Betty's sister wouldn't be good for them now."
The next morning brought Elinor a letter by the two-penny post from Lucy herself. It was as follows:
The next morning, Elinor received a letter by the two-penny post from Lucy herself. It said:
"Bartlett's Building, March.
"Bartlett's Building, March."
"I hope my dear Miss Dashwood will excuse the liberty I take of writing to her; but I know your friendship for me will make you pleased to hear such a good account of myself and my dear Edward, after all the troubles we have went through lately, therefore will make no more apologies, but proceed to say that, thank God! though we have suffered dreadfully, we are both quite well now, and as happy as we must always be in one another's love. We have had great trials, and great persecutions, but however, at the same time, gratefully acknowledge many friends, yourself not the least among them, whose great kindness I shall always thankfully remember,[246] as will Edward too, who I have told of it. I am sure you will be glad to hear, as likewise dear Mrs. Jennings, I spent two happy hours with him yesterday afternoon, he would not hear of our parting, though earnestly did I, as I thought my duty required, urge him to it for prudence sake, and would have parted for ever on the spot, would he consent to it; but he said it should never be, he did not regard his mother's anger, while he could have my affections; our prospects are not very bright, to be sure, but we must wait, and hope for the best; he will be ordained shortly; and should it ever be in your power to recommend him to any body that has a living to bestow, am very sure you will not forget us, and dear Mrs. Jennings too, trust she will speak a good word for us to Sir John, or Mr. Palmer, or any friend that may be able to assist us. Poor Anne was much to blame for what she did, but she did it for the best, so I say nothing; hope Mrs. Jennings won't think it too much trouble to give us a call, should she come this way any morning, 'twould be a great kindness, and my cousins would be proud to know her. My paper reminds me to conclude; and begging to be most gratefully and respectfully remembered to her, and to Sir John, and Lady Middleton, and the dear children, when you chance to see them, and love to Miss Marianne,
I hope my dear Miss Dashwood will forgive me for taking the liberty to write to her; but I know your friendship for me will make you happy to hear such good news about myself and my dear Edward, after all the troubles we've been through lately. So, I'll skip the apologies and say that, thank God! though we've suffered a lot, we are both doing quite well now, and as happy as we can be in each other's love. We've faced great challenges and difficulties, but at the same time, we gratefully acknowledge many friends, you among them, whose kindness I will always remember,[246] as will Edward, whom I've told about it. I'm sure you'll be glad to hear that, along with dear Mrs. Jennings, I spent two happy hours with him yesterday afternoon. He refused to consider parting, even though I earnestly urged him to do so for the sake of prudence, and I would have left forever on the spot if he had agreed; but he insisted that it should never be. He didn’t care about his mother’s anger as long as he had my love. Our future doesn’t look very bright, but we have to wait and hope for the best; he will be ordained soon, and if you ever have the chance to recommend him to anyone with a living to offer, I’m sure you won't forget us. I trust dear Mrs. Jennings will also speak a good word for us to Sir John, Mr. Palmer, or any friends who may be able to help. Poor Anne was wrong in what she did, but she meant well, so I won’t say anything more. I hope Mrs. Jennings won’t mind stopping by to see us if she comes this way any morning; it would be a great kindness, and my cousins would be happy to meet her. My paper reminds me to wrap this up; please give my heartfelt regards to her, to Sir John, Lady Middleton, and the dear children when you see them, and send my love to Miss Marianne.
"I am, etc., etc."
"I am, etc."
As soon as Elinor had finished it, she performed what she concluded to be its writer's real design, by placing it in the hands of Mrs. Jennings, who read it aloud with many comments of satisfaction and praise.
As soon as Elinor finished it, she did what she thought the writer really intended by giving it to Mrs. Jennings, who read it out loud with lots of satisfied comments and praise.
"Very well indeed!—how prettily she writes!—aye, that was quite proper to let him be off if he would. That was just like Lucy. Poor soul! I wish I could get him a living, with all my heart. She calls me dear Mrs. Jennings, you see. She is a good-hearted girl as ever lived. Very well upon my word. That sentence is very prettily turned. Yes, yes, I will go and see her, sure enough. How attentive she is, to think of every body!—Thank you, my dear, for showing it me. It is as pretty a letter as ever I saw, and does Lucy's head and heart great credit."
"Absolutely! — what a lovely way she has of writing! — yes, it was definitely the right thing to let him go if he wanted to. That’s just like Lucy. Poor thing! I really wish I could help him find a job, with all my heart. She calls me dear Mrs. Jennings, you know. She’s the kindest girl you could ever meet. Truly, that sentence is beautifully crafted. Yes, yes, I will definitely go and see her. How thoughtful she is to think of everyone! — Thank you, my dear, for showing it to me. It’s the prettiest letter I’ve ever seen and reflects very well on Lucy's mind and heart."
CHAPTER XXXIX
The Miss Dashwoods had now been rather more than two months in town, and Marianne's impatience to be gone increased every day. She sighed for the air, the liberty, the quiet of the country; and fancied that if any place could give her ease, Barton must do it. Elinor was hardly less anxious than herself for their removal, and only so much less bent on its being effected immediately, as that she was conscious of the difficulties of so long a journey, which Marianne could not be brought to acknowledge. She began, however, seriously to turn her thoughts towards its accomplishment, and had already mentioned their wishes to their kind hostess, who resisted them with all the eloquence of her good-will, when a plan was suggested, which, though detaining them from home yet a few weeks longer, appeared to Elinor altogether much more eligible than any other. The Palmers were to remove to Cleveland about the end of March, for the Easter holidays; and Mrs. Jennings, with both her friends, received a very warm invitation from Charlotte to go with them. This would not, in itself, have been sufficient for the delicacy of Miss Dashwood;—but it was enforced with so much real politeness by Mr. Palmer himself, as, joined to the very great amendment of his manners towards them since her sister had been known to be unhappy, induced her to accept it with pleasure.
The Dashwood sisters had now been in town for just over two months, and Marianne’s urgency to leave grew every day. She longed for the fresh air, freedom, and peace of the countryside, believing that Barton would bring her the relief she craved. Elinor was just as eager as Marianne to relocate, but she was somewhat less insistent on doing it right away because she recognized the challenges of such a long journey, which Marianne refused to admit. However, Elinor started seriously considering how to make it happen and had already brought up their desire to their kind hostess, who argued against it with all the sincerity of her goodwill. Then a plan was proposed that, while keeping them away from home for a few more weeks, seemed to Elinor much more appealing than any other option. The Palmers were planning to move to Cleveland at the end of March for the Easter holidays, and Mrs. Jennings, along with both her friends, received a very warm invitation from Charlotte to join them. This alone might not have been enough for Miss Dashwood’s sensitivities, but Mr. Palmer himself added so much genuine courtesy to the invitation, especially since he had shown significant improvement in his behavior towards them since her sister’s troubles became known, that it encouraged her to accept it with pleasure.
When she told Marianne what she had done, however, her first reply was not very auspicious.
When she told Marianne what she had done, though, her first response wasn't very promising.
"Cleveland!"—she cried, with great agitation. "No, I cannot go to Cleveland."—
"Cleveland!" she exclaimed, clearly upset. "No, I can't go to Cleveland."
"You forget," said Elinor gently, "that its situation is not—that it is not in the neighbourhood of—"
"You forget," Elinor said softly, "that its location is not—that it isn't near—"
"But it is in Somersetshire. I cannot go into Somersetshire. There, where I looked forward to going;—no, Elinor, you cannot expect me to go there."
"But it's in Somersetshire. I can't go to Somersetshire. There, where I was looking forward to going;—no, Elinor, you can't expect me to go there."
Elinor would not argue upon the propriety of overcoming such feelings;—she only endeavoured to counteract them by working on others;—represented it, therefore, as a measure which would fix the time of her returning to that dear mother,[248] whom she so much wished to see, in a more eligible, more comfortable manner, than any other plan could do, and perhaps without any greater delay. From Cleveland, which was within a few miles of Bristol, the distance to Barton was not beyond one day, though a long day's journey; and their mother's servant might easily come there to attend them down; and as there could be no occasion of their staying above a week at Cleveland, they might now be at home in little more than three weeks' time. As Marianne's affection for her mother was sincere, it must triumph with little difficulty, over the imaginary evils she had started.
Elinor wouldn’t debate whether it was right to overcome those feelings; she just tried to counteract them by influencing others. She presented it as a decision that would fix the timing of her return to that beloved mother,[248] whom she longed to see, in a more suitable and comfortable way than any other plan could offer, and perhaps without any more delay. From Cleveland, which was just a few miles from Bristol, the journey to Barton was only a day’s trip, though it would be a long day. Their mother’s servant could easily come there to accompany them back, and since they wouldn’t need to stay more than a week in Cleveland, they could be home in a little over three weeks. Because Marianne genuinely loved her mother, that love would easily overcome the imagined concerns she had raised.
Mrs. Jennings was so far from being weary of her guest, that she pressed them very earnestly to return with her again from Cleveland. Elinor was grateful for the attention, but it could not alter her design; and their mother's concurrence being readily gained, every thing relative to their return was arranged as far as it could be;—and Marianne found some relief in drawing up a statement of the hours that were yet to divide her from Barton.
Mrs. Jennings was far from tired of her guest; she urged them warmly to come back with her from Cleveland. Elinor appreciated the attention, but it didn't change her plan; and with their mother's approval easily obtained, everything regarding their return was organized as much as possible. Marianne felt some relief in writing down the hours left until she would be away from Barton.
"Ah! Colonel, I do not know what you and I shall do without the Miss Dashwoods;"—was Mrs. Jennings's address to him when he first called on her, after their leaving her was settled—"for they are quite resolved upon going home from the Palmers;—and how forlorn we shall be, when I come back!—Lord! we shall sit and gape at one another as dull as two cats."
"Ah! Colonel, I don't know what we'll do without the Miss Dashwoods," Mrs. Jennings said to him when he first visited her after they decided to leave—"because they are set on going home from the Palmers; and just think how lonely it'll be when I get back!—Goodness! We'll just sit and stare at each other like two boring cats."
Perhaps Mrs. Jennings was in hopes, by this vigorous sketch of their future ennui, to provoke him to make that offer, which might give himself an escape from it; and if so, she had soon afterwards good reason to think her object gained; for, on Elinor's moving to the window to take more expeditiously the dimensions of a print, which she was going to copy for her friend, he followed her to it with a look of particular meaning, and conversed with her there for several minutes. The effect of his discourse on the lady too, could not escape her observation, for though she was too honorable to listen, and had even changed her seat, on purpose that she might not hear, to one close by the piano forte on which Marianne was playing, she could not keep herself from seeing that Elinor changed colour, attended with agitation, and was too intent on what he said to pursue her employment. Still farther in[249] confirmation of her hopes, in the interval of Marianne's turning from one lesson to another, some words of the Colonel's inevitably reached her ear, in which he seemed to be apologising for the badness of his house. This set the matter beyond a doubt. She wondered, indeed, at his thinking it necessary to do so; but supposed it to be the proper etiquette. What Elinor said in reply she could not distinguish, but judged from the motion of her lips, that she did not think that any material objection;—and Mrs. Jennings commended her in her heart for being so honest. They then talked on for a few minutes longer without her catching a syllable, when another lucky stop in Marianne's performance brought her these words in the Colonel's calm voice,—
Perhaps Mrs. Jennings hoped that by painting such a vivid picture of their future boredom, she could prompt him to make an offer that might give him a way out of it. If that was her intention, she soon had good reason to believe she was successful. When Elinor moved to the window to more efficiently measure a print she was about to copy for her friend, he followed her with a meaningful look and talked to her there for several minutes. The effect of his conversation on Elinor didn’t escape Mrs. Jennings's notice. Even though she was too honorable to eavesdrop and had changed her seat on purpose to avoid hearing them, moving closer to the piano where Marianne was playing, she couldn’t help but see that Elinor's face changed color, showing signs of agitation, and that she was too focused on what he was saying to continue her work. Further confirming her hopes, during a moment when Marianne shifted from one lesson to another, some of the Colonel’s words reached Mrs. Jennings's ears, in which he seemed to be apologizing for the state of his house. This cleared things up for her. She was surprised he thought it necessary to say that, but supposed it was just the proper etiquette. She couldn’t make out Elinor’s reply, but from the movement of her lips, she judged that it wasn’t any serious objection—and Mrs. Jennings silently praised her for being so honest. They continued conversing for a few more minutes without her catching a word, when another fortunate pause in Marianne’s playing brought her these words from the Colonel’s calm voice,—
"I am afraid it cannot take place very soon."
"I’m afraid it can’t happen anytime soon."
Astonished and shocked at so unlover-like a speech, she was almost ready to cry out, "Lord! what should hinder it?"—but checking her desire, confined herself to this silent ejaculation.
Astonished and shocked by such an unloving speech, she was almost ready to cry out, "Lord! What would stop it?"—but holding back her impulse, she kept her feelings to herself.
"This is very strange!—sure he need not wait to be older."
"This is really strange!—he definitely doesn't need to wait until he's older."
This delay on the Colonel's side, however, did not seem to offend or mortify his fair companion in the least, for on their breaking up the conference soon afterwards, and moving different ways, Mrs. Jennings very plainly heard Elinor say, and with a voice which showed her to feel what she said—
This delay on the Colonel's part, however, didn't seem to bother or embarrass his lovely companion at all, because when they ended the meeting shortly after and went their separate ways, Mrs. Jennings clearly heard Elinor say, with a tone that revealed she meant what she said—
"I shall always think myself very much obliged to you."
"I'll always feel really grateful to you."
Mrs. Jennings was delighted with her gratitude, and only wondered that after hearing such a sentence, the Colonel should be able to take leave of them, as he immediately did, with the utmost sang-froid, and go away without making her any reply!—She had not thought her old friend could have made so indifferent a suitor.
Mrs. Jennings was thrilled with her gratitude and couldn’t help but wonder how the Colonel could say goodbye to them so calmly right after hearing that. He just walked away without giving her any response! She never imagined her old friend could be such an unconcerned suitor.
What had really passed between them was to this effect.
What really happened between them was this.
"I have heard," said he, with great compassion, "of the injustice your friend Mr. Ferrars has suffered from his family; for if I understand the matter right, he has been entirely cast off by them for persevering in his engagement with a very deserving young woman. Have I been rightly informed?—Is it so?—"
"I've heard," he said with a lot of sympathy, "about the unfair treatment your friend Mr. Ferrars has gotten from his family; if I understand correctly, they have completely disowned him for sticking to his commitment to a really wonderful young woman. Am I right about this? Is that what happened?"
Elinor told him that it was.
Elinor told him that it was.
"The cruelty, the impolitic cruelty,"—he replied, with great feeling,—"of dividing, or attempting to divide, two young people[250] long attached to each other, is terrible. Mrs. Ferrars does not know what she may be doing—what she may drive her son to. I have seen Mr. Ferrars two or three times in Harley Street, and am much pleased with him. He is not a young man with whom one can be intimately acquainted in a short time, but I have seen enough of him to wish him well for his own sake, and as a friend of yours, I wish it still more. I understand that he intends to take orders. Will you be so good as to tell him that the living of Delaford, now just vacant, as I am informed by this day's post, is his, if he think it worth his acceptance—but that, perhaps, so unfortunately circumstanced as he is now, it may be nonsense to appear to doubt; I only wish it were more valuable. It is a rectory, but a small one; the late incumbent, I believe, did not make more than 200 L per annum, and though it is certainly capable of improvement, I fear, not to such an amount as to afford him a very comfortable income. Such as it is, however, my pleasure in presenting him to it, will be very great. Pray assure him of it."
"The cruelty, the downright cruelty," he replied passionately, "of separating, or trying to separate, two young people who have been so close for so long, is awful. Mrs. Ferrars has no idea what she might be doing—what she might push her son towards. I've seen Mr. Ferrars a couple of times on Harley Street, and I like him a lot. He's not someone you can get to know well in a short time, but I've seen enough to want the best for him, and as your friend, I want it even more. I understand he's planning to enter the clergy. Could you please let him know that the position of Delaford, which has just become available, is his if he thinks it's worth accepting—but perhaps given his current situation, it might seem silly to even consider it; I just wish it were more lucrative. It's a rectory, but a small one; the previous holder, I believe, didn’t make more than £200 a year, and while it could be improved, I’m afraid not enough to provide him with a very comfortable income. Still, it would give me great pleasure to present him with it. Please make sure he knows that."
Elinor's astonishment at this commission could hardly have been greater, had the Colonel been really making her an offer of his hand. The preferment, which only two days before she had considered as hopeless for Edward, was already provided to enable him to marry;—and she, of all people in the world, was fixed on to bestow it!—Her emotion was such as Mrs. Jennings had attributed to a very different cause;—but whatever minor feelings less pure, less pleasing, might have a share in that emotion, her esteem for the general benevolence, and her gratitude for the particular friendship, which together prompted Colonel Brandon to this act, were strongly felt, and warmly expressed. She thanked him for it with all her heart, spoke of Edward's principles and disposition with that praise which she knew them to deserve; and promised to undertake the commission with pleasure, if it were really his wish to put off so agreeable an office to another. But at the same time, she could not help thinking that no one could so well perform it as himself. It was an office in short, from which, unwilling to give Edward the pain of receiving an obligation from her, she would have been very glad to be spared herself; but Colonel Brandon, on motives of equal delicacy, declining it likewise, still seemed so desirous of its being given through her means,[251] that she would not on any account make farther opposition. Edward, she believed, was still in town, and fortunately she had heard his address from Miss Steele. She could undertake therefore to inform him of it, in the course of the day. After this had been settled, Colonel Brandon began to talk of his own advantage in securing so respectable and agreeable a neighbour, and then it was that he mentioned with regret, that the house was small and indifferent; an evil which Elinor, as Mrs. Jennings had supposed her to do, made very light of, at least as far as regarded its size.
Elinor was hardly more surprised by this request than if the Colonel had actually proposed to marry her. The position that she had thought was impossible for Edward just two days ago was now available for him to marry; and she, of all people, was chosen to deliver this news! Her feelings were similar to what Mrs. Jennings had misattributed to a different situation; but despite any lesser feelings that might have been involved, her respect for Colonel Brandon's general kindness and her appreciation for the personal friendship that motivated him to do this were deeply felt and warmly expressed. She thanked him sincerely, talked about Edward's character and values with the praise they truly deserved, and promised to take on the task with pleasure, as long as it was really his wish to pass the delightful responsibility to her. At the same time, she couldn't shake the thought that nobody could do it better than he could. She wished she could spare Edward the discomfort of receiving a favor from her, while Colonel Brandon, for equally thoughtful reasons, was also reluctant to take it on himself. Still, he seemed so eager to have it done through her that she decided not to oppose it any further. She believed Edward was still in town and, luckily, she had heard his address from Miss Steele. So, she could certainly let him know during the day. Once that was settled, Colonel Brandon began to discuss the benefits of having such a respectable and pleasant neighbor, and then he mentioned regretfully that the house was small and not ideal; a concern that Elinor, as Mrs. Jennings had assumed, brushed off lightly, at least regarding its size.
"The smallness of the house," said she, "I cannot imagine any inconvenience to them, for it will be in proportion to their family and income."
"The size of the house," she said, "I can't see how it would be a problem for them, since it will match their family size and income."
By which the Colonel was surprised to find that she was considering Mr. Ferrars's marriage as the certain consequence of the presentation; for he did not suppose it possible that Delaford living could supply such an income, as anybody in his style of life would venture to settle on, and he said so.
By which the Colonel was surprised to find that she was considering Mr. Ferrars's marriage as a sure outcome of the presentation; he didn’t think it was possible for Delaford to provide such an income that anyone in his position would be willing to commit to, and he said so.
"This little rectory can do no more than make Mr. Ferrars comfortable as a bachelor; it cannot enable him to marry. I am sorry to say that my patronage ends with this; and my interest is hardly more extensive. If, however, by an unforeseen chance it should be in my power to serve him farther, I must think very differently of him from what I now do, if I am not as ready to be useful to him then as I sincerely wish I could be at present. What I am now doing indeed, seems nothing at all, since it can advance him so little towards what must be his principal, his only object of happiness. His marriage must still be a distant good;—at least, I am afraid it cannot take place very soon."
"This little rectory can do nothing more than make Mr. Ferrars comfortable as a bachelor; it can’t help him get married. I’m sorry to say that my support ends here, and my influence doesn’t go much further. However, if by some unexpected chance I can help him more, I would need to think very differently about him than I do now if I’m not as eager to assist him then as I genuinely wish I could be right now. What I’m doing now really seems like nothing at all since it barely pushes him toward what must be his main, his only source of happiness. His marriage still seems far away; at least, I fear it won't happen anytime soon."
Such was the sentence which, when misunderstood, so justly offended the delicate feelings of Mrs. Jennings; but after this narration of what really passed between Colonel Brandon and Elinor, while they stood at the window, the gratitude expressed by the latter on their parting, may perhaps appear in general, not less reasonably excited, nor less properly worded than if it had arisen from an offer of marriage.
Such was the statement that, when misunderstood, deeply offended Mrs. Jennings' sensitive feelings; but after hearing the actual conversation between Colonel Brandon and Elinor while they stood by the window, the gratitude that Elinor expressed at their parting might seem just as genuinely inspired and just as appropriately phrased as if it had come from a marriage proposal.
CHAPTER XL
"Well, Miss Dashwood," said Mrs. Jennings, sagaciously smiling, as soon as the gentleman had withdrawn, "I do not ask you what the Colonel has been saying to you; for though, upon my honour, I tried to keep out of hearing, I could not help catching enough to understand his business. And I assure you I never was better pleased in my life, and I wish you joy of it with all my heart."
"Well, Miss Dashwood," Mrs. Jennings said with a knowing smile, as soon as the gentleman left, "I won’t ask what the Colonel talked about; because even though I truly tried to stay out of earshot, I couldn’t help but overhear enough to get what he was after. And I promise you, I've never been happier in my life, and I wholeheartedly wish you all the best with it."
"Thank you, ma'am," said Elinor. "It is a matter of great joy to me; and I feel the goodness of Colonel Brandon most sensibly. There are not many men who would act as he has done. Few people who have so compassionate a heart! I never was more astonished in my life."
"Thank you, ma'am," Elinor said. "This brings me so much joy, and I truly appreciate Colonel Brandon's kindness. There aren’t many men who would do what he has done. There are few people with such a compassionate heart! I've never been more amazed in my life."
"Lord! my dear, you are very modest. I an't the least astonished at it in the world, for I have often thought of late, there was nothing more likely to happen."
"Wow! my dear, you’re incredibly modest. I’m not surprised at all because I've often thought recently that this was the most likely thing to happen."
"You judged from your knowledge of the Colonel's general benevolence; but at least you could not foresee that the opportunity would so very soon occur."
"You assumed this based on what you knew about the Colonel's overall kindness; but you definitely couldn't have predicted that the chance would come up so quickly."
"Opportunity!" repeated Mrs. Jennings—"Oh! as to that, when a man has once made up his mind to such a thing, somehow or other he will soon find an opportunity. Well, my dear, I wish you joy of it again and again; and if ever there was a happy couple in the world, I think I shall soon know where to look for them."
"Opportunity!" repeated Mrs. Jennings—"Oh! when a man has made up his mind about something, he’ll find a way to make it happen. Well, my dear, I wish you all the best, over and over; and if there’s a truly happy couple out there, I have a feeling I know just where to find them."
"You mean to go to Delaford after them I suppose," said Elinor, with a faint smile.
"You plan to go to Delaford after them, I guess," said Elinor, with a faint smile.
"Aye, my dear, that I do, indeed. And as to the house being a bad one, I do not know what the Colonel would be at, for it is as good a one as ever I saw."
"Yes, my dear, I really do. And regarding the house being a bad one, I don't understand what the Colonel is talking about because it's as good as any house I've ever seen."
"He spoke of its being out of repair."
"He said it was in disrepair."
"Well, and whose fault is that? why don't he repair it? who should do it but himself?"
"Well, whose fault is that? Why doesn't he fix it? Who else should do it but him?"
They were interrupted by the servant's coming in to announce the carriage being at the door; and Mrs. Jennings immediately preparing to go, said—
They were interrupted when the servant came in to announce that the carriage was at the door; and Mrs. Jennings, getting ready to leave, said—
"Well, my dear, I must be gone before I have had half[253] my talk out. But, however, we may have it all over in the evening; for we shall be quite alone. I do not ask you to go with me, for I dare say your mind is too full of the matter to care for company; and besides, you must long to tell your sister all about it."
"Well, my dear, I have to leave before I've managed to say half[253] of what I wanted to. But we can talk everything over this evening since we’ll be all alone. I won't ask you to come with me, as I'm sure you're too preoccupied with everything to want company; plus, you must be eager to share all of this with your sister."
Marianne had left the room before the conversation began.
Marianne had left the room before the conversation started.
"Certainly, ma'am, I shall tell Marianne of it; but I shall not mention it at present to any body else."
"Of course, ma'am, I'll tell Marianne about it; but I won't mention it to anyone else right now."
"Oh! very well," said Mrs. Jennings rather disappointed. "Then you would not have me tell it to Lucy, for I think of going as far as Holborn to-day."
"Oh, fine," said Mrs. Jennings, feeling a bit let down. "So you don't want me to tell Lucy? I'm planning to go as far as Holborn today."
"No, ma'am, not even Lucy if you please. One day's delay will not be very material; and till I have written to Mr. Ferrars, I think it ought not to be mentioned to any body else. I shall do that directly. It is of importance that no time should be lost with him, for he will of course have much to do relative to his ordination."
"No, ma'am, not even Lucy if you don’t mind. A day's delay won't make much difference; and until I write to Mr. Ferrars, I don’t think it should be mentioned to anyone else. I'll take care of that right away. It's important that we don't waste any time with him, as he’ll have a lot to handle regarding his ordination."
This speech at first puzzled Mrs. Jennings exceedingly. Why Mr. Ferrars was to have been written to about it in such a hurry, she could not immediately comprehend. A few moments' reflection, however, produced a very happy idea, and she exclaimed—
This speech initially confused Mrs. Jennings a lot. She couldn't understand why Mr. Ferrars had to be written to about it so urgently. After a moment of thinking, though, she had a great idea and exclaimed—
"Oh, ho! I understand you. Mr. Ferrars is to be the man. Well, so much the better for him. Ay, to be sure, he must be ordained in readiness; and I am very glad to find things are so forward between you. But, my dear, is not this rather out of character? Should not the Colonel write himself? Sure, he is the proper person."
"Oh, I get it. Mr. Ferrars is the guy. Well, that’s good for him. Yes, he definitely needs to be prepared; and I’m really happy to see how things are progressing between you two. But, dear, isn’t this a bit out of character? Shouldn’t the Colonel be the one to write it himself? He’s the right person for that."
Elinor did not quite understand the beginning of Mrs. Jennings's speech, neither did she think it worth inquiring into; and therefore only replied to its conclusion.
Elinor didn't fully grasp the start of Mrs. Jennings's speech, nor did she think it was worth asking about; so she just responded to the end of it.
"Colonel Brandon is so delicate a man, that he rather wished any one to announce his intentions to Mr. Ferrars than himself."
"Colonel Brandon is such a sensitive man that he would rather have someone else inform Mr. Ferrars of his intentions than do it himself."
"And so you are forced to do it. Well that is an odd kind of delicacy! However, I will not disturb you (seeing her preparing to write.) You know your own concerns best. So good-bye, my dear. I have not heard of any thing to please me so well since Charlotte was brought to bed."
"And so you have to do it. Well that is a strange kind of delicacy! However, I won't interrupt you (seeing her getting ready to write.) You know your own matters best. So goodbye, my dear. I haven't heard anything that pleased me this much since Charlotte had her baby."
And away she went; but returning again in a moment—
And off she went; but she came back again in a moment—
"I have just been thinking of Betty's sister, my dear. I[254] should be very glad to get her so good a mistress. But whether she would do for a lady's maid, I am sure I can't tell. She is an excellent housemaid, and works very well at her needle. However, you will think of all that at your leisure."
"I’ve just been thinking about Betty’s sister, my dear. I[254] would be very happy to have her as such a good mistress. But whether she would be suitable as a lady's maid, I honestly can’t say. She’s an excellent housemaid and does great work with her needle. Anyway, you can consider all of that when you have the time."
"Certainly, ma'am," replied Elinor, not hearing much of what she said, and more anxious to be alone, than to be mistress of the subject.
"Of course, ma'am," replied Elinor, not really paying attention to what she said, and more eager to be alone than to take charge of the topic.
How she should begin—how she should express herself in her note to Edward, was now all her concern. The particular circumstances between them made a difficulty of that which to any other person would have been the easiest thing in the world; but she equally feared to say too much or too little, and sat deliberating over her paper, with the pen in her hand, till broken in on by the entrance of Edward himself.
How she should start—how she should write her note to Edward, was now all she could think about. The specific situation between them made what would have been the simplest thing in the world for anyone else a challenge; but she was equally worried about saying too much or too little, and sat thinking over her paper, pen in hand, until Edward walked in.
He had met Mrs. Jennings at the door in her way to the carriage, as he came to leave his farewell card; and she, after apologising for not returning herself, had obliged him to enter, by saying that Miss Dashwood was above, and wanted to speak with him on very particular business.
He ran into Mrs. Jennings at the door as she was heading to the carriage, while he was dropping off his farewell card; and she, after saying sorry for not coming out herself, insisted that he come in, saying that Miss Dashwood was upstairs and wanted to talk to him about something important.
Elinor had just been congratulating herself, in the midst of her perplexity, that however difficult it might be to express herself properly by letter, it was at least preferable to giving the information by word of mouth, when her visitor entered, to force her upon this greatest exertion of all. Her astonishment and confusion were very great on his so sudden appearance. She had not seen him before since his engagement became public, and therefore not since his knowing her to be acquainted with it; which, with the consciousness of what she had been thinking of, and what she had to tell him, made her feel particularly uncomfortable for some minutes. He too was much distressed; and they sat down together in a most promising state of embarrassment. Whether he had asked her pardon for his intrusion on first coming into the room, he could not recollect; but determining to be on the safe side, he made his apology in form as soon as he could say any thing, after taking a chair.
Elinor had just been congratulating herself, amid her confusion, that even though it might be tough to express her feelings in writing, it was at least better than having to do it in person, when her visitor arrived, forcing her into the most challenging situation of all. She was very shocked and flustered by his sudden appearance. She hadn't seen him since his engagement was made public, and so not since he realized she knew about it; this, along with her awareness of what she had been thinking and what she needed to tell him, made her feel especially uneasy for a few moments. He was also quite distressed, and they sat down together in a very awkward state of embarrassment. Whether he had apologized for his interruption when he first entered the room, he couldn’t remember; but deciding to play it safe, he formally apologized as soon as he could speak, after taking a seat.
"Mrs. Jennings told me," said he, "that you wished to speak with me, at least I understood her so—or I certainly should not have intruded on you in such a manner; though at the same time, I should have been extremely sorry to leave London without seeing you and your sister; especially as it[255] will most likely be some time—it is not probable that I should soon have the pleasure of meeting you again. I go to Oxford tomorrow."
"Mrs. Jennings told me," he said, "that you wanted to talk to me, or at least that’s how I understood it—or I definitely wouldn't have come to see you like this; though at the same time, I would have been really disappointed to leave London without seeing you and your sister; especially since it[255] will probably be a while—it’s not likely that I’ll have the pleasure of meeting you again anytime soon. I’m heading to Oxford tomorrow."
"You would not have gone, however," said Elinor, recovering herself, and determined to get over what she so much dreaded as soon as possible, "without receiving our good wishes, even if we had not been able to give them in person. Mrs. Jennings was quite right in what she said. I have something of consequence to inform you of, which I was on the point of communicating by paper. I am charged with a most agreeable office (breathing rather faster than usual as she spoke.) Colonel Brandon, who was here only ten minutes ago, has desired me to say, that understanding you mean to take orders, he has great pleasure in offering you the living of Delaford now just vacant, and only wishes it were more valuable. Allow me to congratulate you on having so respectable and well-judging a friend, and to join in his wish that the living—it is about two hundred a-year—were much more considerable, and such as might better enable you to—as might be more than a temporary accommodation to yourself—such, in short, as might establish all your views of happiness."
"You wouldn’t have gone, though," Elinor said, regaining her composure and deciding to get through what she dreaded as quickly as possible. "Without receiving our best wishes, even if we couldn’t give them to you in person. Mrs. Jennings was absolutely right about what she said. I have something important to tell you, which I was about to communicate in writing. I have been given a really nice task," she said, breathing a bit faster than usual as she spoke. "Colonel Brandon, who was just here ten minutes ago, asked me to tell you that since he understands you’re planning to take orders, he’s very happy to offer you the living of Delaford, which is now vacant, and he only wishes it were more valuable. Congratulations on having such a respectable and discerning friend, and I join him in wishing that the living—it’s about two hundred a year—were much more significant, and something that could truly support you—something that could be more than just a temporary solution for you—something that could actually fulfill all your happiness goals."
What Edward felt, as he could not say it himself, it cannot be expected that any one else should say for him. He looked all the astonishment which such unexpected, such unthought-of information could not fail of exciting; but he said only these two words—
What Edward felt, since he couldn't express it himself, it can't be expected that anyone else should say it for him. He looked all the astonishment that such unexpected, unconsidered information would naturally evoke; but he said only these two words—
"Colonel Brandon!"
"Colonel Brandon!"
"Yes," continued Elinor, gathering more resolution, as some of the worst was over, "Colonel Brandon means it as a testimony of his concern for what has lately passed—for the cruel situation in which the unjustifiable conduct of your family has placed you—a concern which I am sure Marianne, myself, and all your friends, must share; and likewise as a proof of his high esteem for your general character, and his particular approbation of your behaviour on the present occasion."
"Yes," Elinor continued, gaining more confidence as some of the worst was behind them, "Colonel Brandon sees this as a way to show his concern for what has happened recently—for the terrible situation your family's unfair actions have put you in—a concern that I know Marianne, I, and all your friends must feel; and also as a sign of his great respect for your overall character and his particular appreciation of how you’ve handled things this time."
"Colonel Brandon give me a living!—Can it be possible?"
"Colonel Brandon is giving me a place to live!—Is that even possible?"
"The unkindness of your own relations has made you astonished to find friendship any where."
"The lack of kindness from your own family has left you surprised to find friendship anywhere."
"No," replied be, with sudden consciousness, "not to find it in you; for I cannot be ignorant that to you, to your goodness,[256] I owe it all. I feel it—I would express it if I could—but, as you well know, I am no orator."
"Not at all," I answered, suddenly aware, "it's not that I expect to find it in you; I know I owe everything to you and your kindness,[256]. I feel it—I wish I could say it better—but, as you know, I'm not a great speaker."
"You are very much mistaken. I do assure you that you owe it entirely, at least almost entirely, to your own merit, and Colonel Brandon's discernment of it. I have had no hand in it. I did not even know, till I understood his design, that the living was vacant; nor had it ever occurred to me that he might have had such a living in his gift. As a friend of mine, of my family, he may, perhaps—indeed I know he has, still greater pleasure in bestowing it; but, upon my word, you owe nothing to my solicitation."
"You’re very mistaken. I assure you that you owe it almost entirely to your own abilities and Colonel Brandon’s recognition of them. I had no part in it. I didn’t even know the position was open until I learned of his plans, nor did I ever think he might have such a position to offer. As a friend of mine and my family, he may, perhaps—actually, I know he does—take even greater pleasure in giving it; but honestly, you owe nothing to my influence."
Truth obliged her to acknowledge some small share in the action, but she was at the same time so unwilling to appear as the benefactress of Edward, that she acknowledged it with hesitation; which probably contributed to fix that suspicion in his mind which had recently entered it. For a short time he sat deep in thought, after Elinor had ceased to speak;—at last, and as if it were rather an effort, he said—
Truth compelled her to admit some minor involvement in the situation, but she was so reluctant to appear as Edward's benefactor that she acknowledged it hesitantly. This probably helped reinforce the suspicion in his mind that had recently taken root. For a brief moment, he sat lost in thought after Elinor had finished speaking; finally, and as if it took some effort, he said—
"Colonel Brandon seems a man of great worth and respectability. I have always heard him spoken of as such, and your brother I know esteems him highly. He is undoubtedly a sensible man, and in his manners perfectly the gentleman."
"Colonel Brandon seems like a man of great value and respect. I've always heard him talked about that way, and I know your brother thinks very highly of him. He's definitely a sensible guy, and in his behavior, he's completely a gentleman."
"Indeed," replied Elinor, "I believe that you will find him, on farther acquaintance, all that you have heard him to be, and as you will be such very near neighbours (for I understand the parsonage is almost close to the mansion-house,) it is particularly important that he should be all this."
"Definitely," replied Elinor, "I think that as you get to know him better, you'll find him to be everything you've heard, and since you'll be such close neighbors (I understand the parsonage is nearly right next to the mansion), it's especially important that he really is all of this."
Edward made no answer; but when she had turned away her head, gave her a look so serious, so earnest, so uncheerful, as seemed to say, that he might hereafter wish the distance between the parsonage and the mansion-house much greater.
Edward didn’t reply; but when she turned her head away, he gave her a look that was so serious, so sincere, and so gloomy, it seemed to suggest that he might wish the distance between the parsonage and the mansion to be much greater in the future.
"Colonel Brandon, I think, lodges in St. James Street," said he, soon afterwards, rising from his chair.
"Colonel Brandon, I believe, stays on St. James Street," he said shortly after, getting up from his chair.
Elinor told him the number of the house.
Elinor told him the house number.
"I must hurry away then, to give him those thanks which you will not allow me to give you; to assure him that he has made me a very—an exceedingly happy man."
"I need to rush over, to thank him in the way that you won't let me thank you; to let him know that he has made me a very—an extremely happy man."
Elinor did not offer to detain him; and they parted, with a very earnest assurance on her side of her unceasing good wishes for his happiness in every change of situation that[257] might befall him; on his, with rather an attempt to return the same good will, than the power of expressing it.
Elinor didn’t try to keep him from leaving; they said goodbye, with her sincerely wishing him happiness in whatever changes came his way. He tried to reciprocate those good wishes, but struggled to express them.
"When I see him again," said Elinor to herself, as the door shut him out, "I shall see him the husband of Lucy."
"When I see him again," Elinor said to herself after the door closed behind him, "I'll see him as Lucy's husband."
And with this pleasing anticipation, she sat down to reconsider the past, recall the words and endeavour to comprehend all the feelings of Edward; and, of course, to reflect on her own with discontent.
And with this satisfying expectation, she sat down to think about the past, remember the words, and try to understand all of Edward's feelings; and, of course, to reflect on her own with dissatisfaction.
When Mrs. Jennings came home, though she returned from seeing people whom she had never seen before, and of whom therefore she must have a great deal to say, her mind was so much more occupied by the important secret in her possession, than by anything else, that she reverted to it again as soon as Elinor appeared.
When Mrs. Jennings got home, even though she had just been with people she had never met before, and therefore had a lot to talk about, her mind was focused much more on the big secret she was holding than on anything else. She brought it up again as soon as Elinor showed up.
"Well, my dear," she cried, "I sent you up the young man. Did not I do right?—And I suppose you had no great difficulty—You did not find him very unwilling to accept your proposal?"
"Well, my dear," she exclaimed, "I sent you the young man. Wasn't that the right thing to do?—And I assume you didn't have much trouble—He wasn't too hesitant to accept your proposal, was he?"
"No, ma'am; that was not very likely."
"No, ma'am; that wasn't very likely."
"Well, and how soon will he be ready?—For it seems all to depend upon that."
"Well, how soon will he be ready? It seems everything depends on that."
"Really," said Elinor, "I know so little of these kind of forms, that I can hardly even conjecture as to the time, or the preparation necessary; but I suppose two or three months will complete his ordination."
"Honestly," Elinor said, "I know so little about these kinds of things that I can barely even guess how long it will take or what preparation is needed; but I assume two or three months will be enough to finish his ordination."
"Two or three months!" cried Mrs. Jennings; "Lord! my dear, how calmly you talk of it; and can the Colonel wait two or three months! Lord bless me!—I am sure it would put me quite out of patience!—And though one would be very glad to do a kindness by poor Mr. Ferrars, I do think it is not worth while to wait two or three months for him. Sure somebody else might be found that would do as well; somebody that is in orders already."
"Two or three months!" Mrs. Jennings exclaimed. "Oh my goodness, how casually you talk about it. Can the Colonel really wait two or three months? Goodness! I know it would drive me absolutely crazy! While I'd love to help poor Mr. Ferrars, I honestly don’t think it’s worth waiting two or three months for him. Surely, we could find someone else who would do just as well; someone who is already qualified."
"My dear ma'am," said Elinor, "what can you be thinking of? Why, Colonel Brandon's only object is to be of use to Mr. Ferrars."
"My dear ma'am," Elinor said, "what are you thinking? Colonel Brandon's only intention is to help Mr. Ferrars."
"Lord bless you, my dear! Sure you do not mean to persuade me that the Colonel only marries you for the sake of giving ten guineas to Mr. Ferrars!"
"God bless you, my dear! Surely you don’t expect me to believe that the Colonel is marrying you just to give ten guineas to Mr. Ferrars!"
The deception could not continue after this; and an explanation immediately took place, by which both [259]gained considerable amusement for the moment, without any material loss of happiness to either, for Mrs. Jennings only exchanged one form of delight for another, and still without forfeiting her expectation of the first.
The deception couldn't go on any longer after this; and an explanation happened right away, which both [259] found pretty amusing for the time being, without causing any real loss of happiness for either of them. Mrs. Jennings simply swapped one kind of delight for another, still holding onto her hope for the first.
"Aye, aye, the parsonage is but a small one," said she, after the first ebullition of surprise and satisfaction was over, "and very likely may be out of repair; but to hear a man apologising, as I thought, for a house that to my knowledge has five sitting rooms on the ground-floor, and I think the housekeeper told me could make up fifteen beds! and to you too, that had been used to live in Barton cottage! It seems quite ridiculous. But, my dear, we must touch up the Colonel to do some thing to the parsonage, and make it comfortable for them, before Lucy goes to it."
"Sure, the parsonage is pretty small," she said, after her initial surprise and happiness faded, "and it might be in need of repairs; but hearing a man apologize for a house that I know has five living rooms on the ground floor, and I think the housekeeper mentioned it can accommodate fifteen beds! Especially to you, who used to live in Barton cottage! It seems completely absurd. But, my dear, we need to push the Colonel to do something to the parsonage and make it comfortable for them before Lucy moves in."
"But Colonel Brandon does not seem to have any idea of the living's being enough to allow them to marry."
"But Colonel Brandon doesn't seem to think that the income is enough for them to get married."
"The Colonel is a ninny, my dear; because he has two thousand a-year himself, he thinks that nobody else can marry on less. Take my word for it, that, if I am alive, I shall be paying a visit at Delaford Parsonage before Michaelmas; and I am sure I shan't go if Lucy an't there."
"The Colonel is such a fool, my dear; just because he makes two thousand a year, he believes that no one else can marry on less. Trust me, if I’m still around, I’ll be visiting Delaford Parsonage before Michaelmas; and I’m definitely not going if Lucy isn’t there."
Elinor was quite of her opinion, as to the probability of their not waiting for any thing more.
Elinor was sure that they wouldn’t be waiting for anything else.
CHAPTER XLI
Edward, having carried his thanks to Colonel Brandon, proceeded with his happiness to Lucy; and such was the excess of it by the time he reached Bartlett's Buildings, that she was able to assure Mrs. Jennings, who called on her again the next day with her congratulations, that she had never seen him in such spirits before in her life.
Edward, after thanking Colonel Brandon, went off to see Lucy, and by the time he got to Bartlett's Buildings, he was so happy that she could tell Mrs. Jennings, who visited her the next day with her congratulations, that she had never seen him in such good spirits before in her life.
Her own happiness, and her own spirits, were at least very certain; and she joined Mrs. Jennings most heartily in her expectation of their being all comfortably together in Delaford Parsonage before Michaelmas. So far was she, at the same time, from any backwardness to give Elinor that credit[260] which Edward would give her, that she spoke of her friendship for them both with the most grateful warmth, was ready to own all their obligation to her, and openly declared that no exertion for their good on Miss Dashwood's part, either present or future, would ever surprise her, for she believed her capable of doing any thing in the world for those she really valued. As for Colonel Brandon, she was not only ready to worship him as a saint, but was moreover truly anxious that he should be treated as one in all worldly concerns; anxious that his tithes should be raised to the utmost; and secretly resolved to avail herself, at Delaford, as far as she possibly could, of his servants, his carriage, his cows, and his poultry.
Her own happiness and spirits were definitely secure; she eagerly joined Mrs. Jennings in her hope that they would all be comfortably together at Delaford Parsonage before Michaelmas. At the same time, she was far from hesitating to give Elinor the credit[260] that Edward would give her. She spoke of her friendship for both of them with genuine warmth, was quick to acknowledge all they had done for her, and openly stated that no effort for their benefit from Miss Dashwood, whether now or in the future, would ever surprise her, as she believed Elinor could do anything in the world for those she truly valued. As for Colonel Brandon, she was not only ready to admire him like a saint, but was also sincerely concerned that he should be treated as such in all practical matters; she wanted his tithes maximized and secretly planned to make use of his servants, his carriage, his cows, and his poultry while at Delaford, as much as she could.
It was now above a week since John Dashwood had called in Berkeley Street, and as since that time no notice had been taken by them of his wife's indisposition, beyond one verbal enquiry, Elinor began to feel it necessary to pay her a visit. This was an obligation, however, which not only opposed her own inclination, but which had not the assistance of any encouragement from her companions. Marianne, not contented with absolutely refusing to go herself, was very urgent to prevent her sister's going at all; and Mrs. Jennings, though her carriage was always at Elinor's service, so very much disliked Mrs. John Dashwood, that not even her curiosity to see how she looked after the late discovery, nor her strong desire to affront her by taking Edward's part, could overcome her unwillingness to be in her company again. The consequence was, that Elinor set out by herself to pay a visit, for which no one could really have less inclination, and to run the risk of a tête-à-tête with a woman, whom neither of the others had so much reason to dislike.
It had been over a week since John Dashwood visited Berkeley Street, and since then, no one had really checked in on his wife’s illness, except for one verbal inquiry. Elinor felt it was necessary to pay her a visit. However, this obligation was not only against her own wishes but was also not supported by her friends. Marianne, not satisfied with just refusing to go herself, was very eager to prevent her sister from going at all; and Mrs. Jennings, although her carriage was always available for Elinor, disliked Mrs. John Dashwood so much that not even her curiosity about how she was doing after the recent news, nor her strong desire to confront her by supporting Edward, could make her willing to be in her company again. As a result, Elinor set out alone for a visit that she really had no desire to make, and to risk a one-on-one conversation with a woman whom neither of the others had much reason to dislike.
Mrs. Dashwood was denied; but before the carriage could turn from the house, her husband accidentally came out. He expressed great pleasure in meeting Elinor, told her that he had been just going to call in Berkeley Street, and, assuring her that Fanny would be very glad to see her, invited her to come in.
Mrs. Dashwood was turned away; but before the carriage could leave the house, her husband happened to come out. He showed great happiness in meeting Elinor, mentioned that he had been about to stop by Berkeley Street, and, assuring her that Fanny would be really happy to see her, invited her to come inside.
They walked up stairs in to the drawing-room. Nobody was there.
They walked up the stairs into the living room. Nobody was there.
"Fanny is in her own room, I suppose," said he:—"I will go to her presently, for I am sure she will not have the least objection in the world to seeing you. Very far from it, indeed. Now especially there cannot be—but however, you[261] and Marianne were always great favourites. Why would not Marianne come?"—
"Fanny is in her own room, I guess," he said. "I’ll go see her soon, because I know she won’t mind at all seeing you. Quite the opposite, actually. Now especially, she must be eager to, but anyway, you[261] and Marianne were always big favorites. Why didn’t Marianne come?"
Elinor made what excuse she could for her.
Elinor came up with whatever excuse she could for her.
"I am not sorry to see you alone," he replied, "for I have a good deal to say to you. This living of Colonel Brandon's—can it be true?—has he really given it to Edward?—I heard it yesterday by chance, and was coming to you on purpose to enquire farther about it."
"I’m not sorry to find you alone," he said, "because I have quite a bit to discuss with you. Is it true about Colonel Brandon's property—has he really given it to Edward?—I happened to hear about it yesterday and was coming to ask you for more details."
"It is perfectly true. Colonel Brandon has given the living of Delaford to Edward."
"It’s completely true. Colonel Brandon has given the Delaford position to Edward."
"Really!—Well, this is very astonishing!—no relationship!—no connection between them!—and now that livings fetch such a price!—what was the value of this?"
"Really!—Wow, this is amazing!—no relationship!—no connection between them!—and now that jobs are worth so much!—what was this worth?"
"About two hundred a year."
"About 200 a year."
"Very well—and for the next presentation to a living of that value—supposing the late incumbent to have been old and sickly, and likely to vacate it soon—he might have got I dare say—fourteen hundred pounds. And how came he not to have settled that matter before this person's death? Now indeed it would be too late to sell it, but a man of Colonel Brandon's sense!—I wonder he should be so improvident in a point of such common, such natural, concern!—Well, I am convinced that there is a vast deal of inconsistency in almost every human character. I suppose, however—on recollection—that the case may probably be this. Edward is only to hold the living till the person to whom the Colonel has really sold the presentation, is old enough to take it. Aye, aye, that is the fact, depend upon it."
"Alright—considering the next opportunity for a living of that value—if the previous holder was old and unwell, and likely to leave it soon—he could have gotten, I’d say, fourteen hundred pounds. So why didn’t he sort that out before this person died? Now it’s definitely too late to sell it, but someone with Colonel Brandon's insight!—I can’t believe he would be so careless about something so common and so natural!—Well, I’m convinced there’s a lot of inconsistency in almost every human character. But I suppose—thinking it over—that the situation might actually be this. Edward is just meant to keep the living until the person the Colonel has actually sold the presentation to is old enough to take it. Yes, yes, that’s the truth, mark my words."
Elinor contradicted it, however, very positively; and by relating that she had herself been employed in conveying the offer from Colonel Brandon to Edward, and, therefore, must understand the terms on which it was given, obliged him to submit to her authority.
Elinor firmly disagreed, stating clearly that she had actually been the one to pass the offer from Colonel Brandon to Edward, so she had to know the terms on which it was made, which forced him to accept her authority.
"It is truly astonishing!"—he cried, after hearing what she said—"what could be the Colonel's motive?"
"It’s really amazing!" he exclaimed after hearing what she said. "What could the Colonel’s motive be?"
"A very simple one—to be of use to Mr. Ferrars."
"A really simple one—to be helpful to Mr. Ferrars."
"Well, well; whatever Colonel Brandon may be, Edward is a very lucky man. You will not mention the matter to Fanny, however, for though I have broke it to her, and she bears it vastly well,—she will not like to hear it much talked of."
"Well, well; no matter what Colonel Brandon is like, Edward is a very lucky guy. Please don’t bring it up with Fanny, though, because even though I’ve told her and she’s taking it surprisingly well, she won’t like it being discussed too much."
Elinor had some difficulty here to refrain from observing, that[262] she thought Fanny might have borne with composure, an acquisition of wealth to her brother, by which neither she nor her child could be possibly impoverished.
Elinor had some difficulty holding back her thoughts, as she felt that Fanny could have accepted, without fuss, the news of her brother gaining wealth, which wouldn’t have left her or her child in a worse financial situation.
"Mrs. Ferrars," added he, lowering his voice to the tone becoming so important a subject, "knows nothing about it at present, and I believe it will be best to keep it entirely concealed from her as long as may be. When the marriage takes place, I fear she must hear of it all."
"Mrs. Ferrars," he said, lowering his voice to match the seriousness of the topic, "doesn't know anything about it right now, and I think it’s best to keep it completely hidden from her for as long as possible. When the marriage happens, I’m afraid she’ll have to hear about everything."
"But why should such precaution be used? Though it is not to be supposed that Mrs. Ferrars can have the smallest satisfaction in knowing that her son has money enough to live upon,—for that must be quite out of the question; yet why, upon her late behaviour, is she supposed to feel at all? She has done with her son, she cast him off for ever, and has made all those over whom she had any influence, cast him off likewise. Surely, after doing so, she cannot be imagined liable to any impression of sorrow or of joy on his account—she cannot be interested in any thing that befalls him. She would not be so weak as to throw away the comfort of a child, and yet retain the anxiety of a parent!"
"But why should such caution be taken? It’s not reasonable to think that Mrs. Ferrars gets any satisfaction from knowing that her son has enough money to live on—because that’s definitely out of the question. But given her recent behavior, why is she thought to feel anything at all? She has severed ties with her son, completely cut him off, and made sure that everyone else she could influence did the same. Surely, after doing that, it’s hard to imagine her feeling any sadness or happiness about him—she can’t really care about anything that happens to him. She wouldn’t be so foolish as to give up the comfort of being a parent while still holding on to the worries that come with it!"
"Ah! Elinor," said John, "your reasoning is very good, but it is founded on ignorance of human nature. When Edward's unhappy match takes place, depend upon it his mother will feel as much as if she had never discarded him; and, therefore every circumstance that may accelerate that dreadful event, must be concealed from her as much as possible. Mrs. Ferrars can never forget that Edward is her son."
"Ah! Elinor," John said, "your reasoning is solid, but it’s based on a misunderstanding of human nature. When Edward's unfortunate marriage happens, you can count on it that his mother will feel just as if she had never pushed him away; so, every situation that could speed up that awful event must be kept from her as much as possible. Mrs. Ferrars can never forget that Edward is her son."
"You surprise me; I should think it must nearly have escaped her memory by this time."
"You surprise me; I would have thought it must have almost slipped her mind by now."
"You wrong her exceedingly. Mrs. Ferrars is one of the most affectionate mothers in the world."
"You’re really mistaken about her. Mrs. Ferrars is one of the most loving mothers out there."
Elinor was silent.
Elinor kept quiet.
"We think now,"—said Mr. Dashwood, after a short pause, "of Robert's marrying Miss Morton."
"We think now," said Mr. Dashwood, after a brief pause, "about Robert's marrying Miss Morton."
Elinor, smiling at the grave and decisive importance of her brother's tone, calmly replied—
Elinor, smiling at the serious and firm tone of her brother, calmly replied—
"The lady, I suppose, has no choice in the affair."
"The lady, I guess, has no say in the matter."
"Choice!—how do you mean?"
"Choice!—what do you mean?"
"I only mean that I suppose, from your manner of speaking, it must be the same to Miss Morton whether she marry Edward or Robert."[263]
"I just mean that, from the way you’re talking, it seems like it doesn’t matter to Miss Morton whether she marries Edward or Robert."[263]
"Certainly, there can be no difference; for Robert will now to all intents and purposes be considered as the eldest son;—and as to any thing else, they are both very agreeable young men: I do not know that one is superior to the other."
"Definitely, there’s no difference; Robert will now be seen as the eldest son for all practical purposes— and as for anything else, they are both really nice young men: I can’t say that one is better than the other."
Elinor said no more, and John was also for a short time silent. His reflections ended thus.
Elinor said nothing more, and John was quiet for a little while too. His thoughts wrapped up like this.
"Of one thing, my dear sister," kindly taking her hand, and speaking in an awful whisper,—"I may assure you; and I will do it, because I know it must gratify you. I have good reason to think—indeed I have it from the best authority, or I should not repeat it, for otherwise it would be very wrong to say any thing about it,—but I have it from the very best authority,—not that I ever precisely heard Mrs. Ferrars say it herself—but her daughter did, and I have it from her,—that in short, whatever objections there might be against a certain—a certain connection, you understand me,—it would have been far preferable to her, it would not have given her half the vexation that this does. I was exceedingly pleased to hear that Mrs. Ferrars considered it in that light; a very gratifying circumstance you know to us all. 'It would have been beyond comparison,' she said, 'the least evil of the two, and she would be glad to compound now for nothing worse.' But however, all that is quite out of the question,—not to be thought of or mentioned. As to any attachment you know, it never could be; all that is gone by. But I thought I would just tell you of this, because I knew how much it must please you. Not that you have any reason to regret, my dear Elinor. There is no doubt of your doing exceedingly well,—quite as well, or better, perhaps, all things considered. Has Colonel Brandon been with you lately?"
"Of one thing, my dear sister," she said as she kindly took her hand and spoke in a hushed voice, "I can assure you, and I will do it because I know it will make you happy. I have good reason to believe—actually, I got it from a reliable source, or I wouldn't bring it up because it wouldn’t be right otherwise—but I got it from the most trustworthy source—not that I ever actually heard Mrs. Ferrars say it herself—but her daughter did, and I got it straight from her—that, in short, whatever objections there might be to a certain connection, you understand what I mean, it would have been much better for her; it wouldn’t have given her half the trouble that this does. I was really pleased to hear that Mrs. Ferrars thought of it that way; it’s a very satisfying thing for all of us, you know. 'It would have been by far the lesser of the two evils,' she said, 'and she would be happy to settle for nothing worse.' But anyway, all that is completely irrelevant—not to be considered or mentioned. As for any attachment, that could never happen; all of that is in the past. I just wanted to share this with you because I knew it would delight you. Not that you have any reason to regret, my dear Elinor. There’s no doubt you’ll end up doing very well—probably just as well, if not better, when you consider everything. Has Colonel Brandon been with you lately?"
Elinor had heard enough, if not to gratify her vanity, and raise her self-importance, to agitate her nerves and fill her mind;—and she was therefore glad to be spared from the necessity of saying much in reply herself, and from the danger of hearing any thing more from her brother, by the entrance of Mr. Robert Ferrars. After a few moments' chat, John Dashwood, recollecting that Fanny was yet uninformed of her sister's being there, quitted the room in quest of her; and Elinor was left to improve her acquaintance with Robert, who, by the gay unconcern, the happy self-complacency of his manner while enjoying so unfair a division of his mother's love and liberality, to the prejudice of his banished brother, earned only by his own dissipated course of life, and that brother's integrity, was confirming her most unfavourable opinion of his head and heart.
Elinor had heard enough, not to boost her ego or elevate her self-importance, but to stir her nerves and occupy her thoughts; so she was relieved to avoid having to say much in response herself and to dodge the risk of hearing anything more from her brother when Mr. Robert Ferrars walked in. After chatting for a few moments, John Dashwood remembered that Fanny still didn’t know her sister was there, so he left the room to find her. This left Elinor to get to know Robert better, who, with his carefree demeanor and happy self-satisfaction, while enjoying such an uneven share of their mother’s love and generosity at the expense of his exiled brother—who was known for his integrity, unlike Robert, who had led a reckless lifestyle—was only reinforcing Elinor’s worst opinions of his character and mindset.
They had scarcely been two minutes by themselves, before he began to speak of Edward; for he, too, had heard of the living, and was very inquisitive on the subject. Elinor repeated the particulars of it, as she had given them to John; and their effect on Robert, though very different, was not less striking than it had been on him. He laughed most immoderately. The idea of Edward's being a clergyman, and living in a small parsonage-house, diverted him beyond measure;—and when to that was added the fanciful imagery of Edward reading prayers in a white surplice, and publishing the banns of marriage between John Smith and Mary Brown, he could conceive nothing more ridiculous.
They had barely been alone for two minutes when he started talking about Edward because he had also heard about him and was really curious. Elinor shared the details like she had with John, and the impact on Robert, though very different, was just as striking as it had been on him. He laughed uncontrollably. The thought of Edward being a clergyman living in a tiny parsonage was incredibly amusing to him;—and when he imagined Edward reading prayers in a white surplice and announcing the banns of marriage between John Smith and Mary Brown, he couldn't think of anything more ridiculous.
Elinor, while she waited in silence and immovable gravity, the conclusion of such folly, could not restrain her eyes from being fixed on him with a look that spoke all the contempt it excited. It was a look, however, very well bestowed, for it relieved her own feelings, and gave no intelligence to him. He was recalled from wit to wisdom, not by any reproof of her's, but by his own sensibility.
Elinor, while she waited in silence and with a serious demeanor, could not help but stare at him with a look that showed all the contempt she felt. It was a well-earned look, as it eased her feelings without revealing anything to him. He shifted from cleverness to insight, not because of any criticism from her, but because of his own awareness.
"We may treat it as a joke," said he, at last, recovering from the affected laugh which had considerably lengthened out the genuine gaiety of the moment; "but, upon my soul, it is a most serious business. Poor Edward! he is ruined for ever. I am extremely sorry for it; for I know him to be a very good-hearted creature,—as well-meaning a fellow perhaps, as any in the world. You must not judge of him, Miss Dashwood, from your slight acquaintance. Poor Edward! His manners are certainly not the happiest in nature. But we are not all born, you know, with the same powers,—the same address. Poor fellow! to see him in a circle of strangers! to be sure it was pitiable enough; but upon my soul, I believe he has as good a heart as any in the kingdom; and I declare and protest to you I never was so shocked in my life, as when it all burst forth. I could not believe it. My mother was the first person who told me of it; and I, feeling myself called on to act with resolution, immediately said to her,—'My dear madam, I do not know what you may intend to do on the[266] occasion, but as for myself, I must say, that if Edward does marry this young woman, I never will see him again.' That was what I said immediately. I was most uncommonly shocked, indeed! Poor Edward! he has done for himself completely,—shut himself out for ever from all decent society! but, as I directly said to my mother, I am not in the least surprised at it; from his style of education, it was always to be expected. My poor mother was half frantic."
"We might take it as a joke," he finally said, shaking off the forced laugh that had stretched out the genuine fun of the moment; "but honestly, it’s a very serious matter. Poor Edward! He’s ruined for good. I feel really sorry for him because I know he’s a really good guy—probably one of the most well-meaning people you'll ever meet. You shouldn't judge him, Miss Dashwood, based on your brief interaction with him. Poor Edward! His manners aren’t the best, for sure. But not everyone is born with the same skills or charm. Poor guy! Just seeing him in a crowd of strangers! It was pretty pitiful; but honestly, I believe he has as good a heart as anyone in the country. I can’t tell you how shocked I was when it all came out. I couldn’t believe it. My mom was the first to tell me, and feeling the need to act decisively, I immediately said to her—'My dear mom, I don’t know what you plan to do about this situation, but as for me, I have to say that if Edward marries this young woman, I will never see him again.' That’s what I said right away. I was really shocked! Poor Edward! He’s completely messed up his life—shut himself off from all decent society! But as I told my mom directly, I’m not at all surprised; given his upbringing, this was always to be expected. My poor mom was almost frantic."
"Have you ever seen the lady?"
"Have you ever seen the woman?"
"Yes; once, while she was staying in this house, I happened to drop in for ten minutes; and I saw quite enough of her. The merest awkward country girl, without style, or elegance, and almost without beauty. I remember her perfectly. Just the kind of girl I should suppose likely to captivate poor Edward. I offered immediately, as soon as my mother related the affair to me, to talk to him myself, and dissuade him from the match; but it was too late then, I found, to do any thing, for unluckily, I was not in the way at first, and knew nothing of it till after the breach had taken place, when it was not for me, you know, to interfere. But had I been informed of it a few hours earlier, I think it is most probable that something might have been hit on. I certainly should have represented it to Edward in a very strong light. 'My dear fellow,' I should have said, 'consider what you are doing. You are making a most disgraceful connection, and such a one as your family are unanimous in disapproving.' I cannot help thinking, in short, that means might have been found. But now it is all too late. He must be starved, you know, that is certain; absolutely starved."
"Yes; once, while she was staying in this house, I dropped by for ten minutes, and I saw enough of her. Just an awkward country girl, lacking style, elegance, and almost beauty. I remember her perfectly. Exactly the kind of girl I would expect to attract poor Edward. As soon as my mom told me about it, I offered to talk to him myself and try to convince him against the match; but I found out it was too late to do anything because, unfortunately, I wasn't aware of it at first and didn't know anything until after the breakup had happened, when it was not my place to intervene. But if I had been informed a few hours earlier, I think it's very likely that something could have been worked out. I definitely would have presented it to Edward very strongly. 'My dear friend,' I would have said, 'think about what you're doing. You're getting involved in a very disgraceful connection, one that your family completely disapproves of.' I can't help but feel that ways could have been found. But now it’s all too late. He’s going to be suffering, that’s for certain; absolutely suffering."
He had just settled this point with great composure, when the entrance of Mrs. John Dashwood put an end to the subject. But though she never spoke of it out of her own family, Elinor could see its influence on her mind, in the something like confusion of countenance with which she entered, and an attempt at cordiality in her behaviour to herself. She even proceeded so far as to be concerned to find that Elinor and her sister were so soon to leave town, as she had hoped to see more of them;—an exertion in which her husband, who attended her into the room, and hung enamoured over her accents, seemed to distinguish every thing that was most affectionate and graceful.
He had just calmly wrapped up that point when Mrs. John Dashwood walked in, cutting off the conversation. But even though she never mentioned it outside her family, Elinor could see how it affected her, evident in the somewhat flustered look on her face as she entered and her awkward attempt to be friendly toward Elinor. She even went so far as to express concern that Elinor and her sister were leaving town so soon, as she had hoped to spend more time with them—an effort that her husband, who followed her into the room and gazed at her adoringly, seemed to appreciate as being particularly warm and graceful.
CHAPTER XLII
One other short call in Harley Street, in which Elinor received her brother's congratulations on their travelling so far towards Barton without any expense, and on Colonel Brandon's being to follow them to Cleveland in a day or two, completed the intercourse of the brother and sisters in town;—and a faint invitation from Fanny, to come to Norland whenever it should happen to be in their way, which of all things was the most unlikely to occur, with a more warm, though less public, assurance, from John to Elinor, of the promptitude with which he should come to see her at Delaford, was all that foretold any meeting in the country.
One more quick visit on Harley Street allowed Elinor to receive her brother's congratulations for traveling so far towards Barton without any expenses. He also mentioned that Colonel Brandon would be joining them in Cleveland in a day or two. This wrapped up their time together in the city. Fanny gave a half-hearted invitation to come to Norland whenever it suited them, which seemed very unlikely to happen. John, on the other hand, offered a more sincere, though less public, promise to Elinor that he would visit her at Delaford as soon as he could. That was all they had to look forward to in terms of a meeting in the countryside.
It amused her to observe that all her friends seemed determined to send her to Delaford;—a place, in which, of all others, she would now least choose to visit, or wish to reside; for not only was it considered as her future home by her brother and Mrs. Jennings, but even Lucy, when they parted, gave her a pressing invitation to visit her there.
It amused her to see that all her friends seemed set on sending her to Delaford—a place that, of all options, she would least want to visit or live in right now; not only was it seen as her future home by her brother and Mrs. Jennings, but even Lucy, when they said goodbye, extended a strong invitation for her to come visit.
Very early in April, and tolerably early in the day, the two parties from Hanover Square and Berkeley Street set out from their respective homes, to meet, by appointment, on the road. For the convenience of Charlotte and her child, they were to be more than two days on their journey, and Mr. Palmer, travelling more expeditiously with Colonel Brandon, was to join them at Cleveland soon after their arrival.
Very early in April, and fairly early in the day, the two groups from Hanover Square and Berkeley Street left their homes to meet as planned on the road. To make things easier for Charlotte and her child, they would take more than two days for their journey, and Mr. Palmer, traveling more quickly with Colonel Brandon, was to meet them at Cleveland shortly after they arrived.
Marianne, few as had been her hours of comfort in London, and eager as she had long been to quit it, could not, when it came to the point, bid adieu to the house in which she had for the last time enjoyed those hopes, and that confidence, in Willoughby, which were now extinguished for ever, without great pain. Nor could she leave the place in which Willoughby remained, busy in new engagements, and new schemes, in which she could have no share, without shedding many tears.
Marianne, despite having very few moments of comfort in London and being eager to leave, could not, when the time came, say goodbye to the house where she had last experienced her hopes and confidence in Willoughby, which were now completely gone, without feeling intense pain. Nor could she depart from the place where Willoughby was busy with new commitments and plans that she could not be part of, without crying a lot.
Elinor's satisfaction, at the moment of removal, was more positive. She had no such object for her lingering thoughts to fix on, she left no creature behind, from whom it would give her a moment's regret to be divided for ever, she was pleased[268] to be free herself from the persecution of Lucy's friendship, she was grateful for bringing her sister away unseen by Willoughby since his marriage, and she looked forward with hope to what a few months of tranquility at Barton might do towards restoring Marianne's peace of mind, and confirming her own.
Elinor felt a strong sense of relief at the moment of leaving. She had nothing to dwell on, no one she would miss or regret being separated from forever. She was glad to be free from the strain of Lucy's friendship, grateful that they were able to leave without Willoughby seeing her sister since his marriage. She looked forward with hope to how a few months of calm at Barton could help restore Marianne's peace of mind and strengthen her own.
Their journey was safely performed. The second day brought them into the cherished, or the prohibited, county of Somerset, for as such was it dwelt on by turns in Marianne's imagination; and in the forenoon of the third they drove up to Cleveland.
Their journey went smoothly. On the second day, they arrived in the beloved, or forbidden, county of Somerset, as it was alternately imagined by Marianne; and on the morning of the third day, they drove up to Cleveland.
Cleveland was a spacious, modern-built house, situated on a sloping lawn. It had no park, but the pleasure-grounds were tolerably extensive; and like every other place of the same degree of importance, it had its open shrubbery, and closer wood walk, a road of smooth gravel winding round a plantation, led to the front, the lawn was dotted over with timber, the house itself was under the guardianship of the fir, the mountain-ash, and the acacia, and a thick screen of them altogether, interspersed with tall Lombardy poplars, shut out the offices.
Cleveland was a spacious, modern house located on a sloping lawn. It didn't have a park, but the grounds were fairly large; like every other place of its importance, it had open shrub areas and a winding wood path. A smooth gravel road circled around some trees and led to the front, while the lawn was dotted with mature trees. The house itself was surrounded by firs, mountain-ash, and acacias, with a thick screening of them mixed in with tall Lombardy poplars, keeping the outbuildings out of sight.
Marianne entered the house with a heart swelling with emotion from the consciousness of being only eighty miles from Barton, and not thirty from Combe Magna; and before she had been five minutes within its walls, while the others were busily helping Charlotte to show her child to the housekeeper, she quitted it again, stealing away through the winding shrubberies, now just beginning to be in beauty, to gain a distant eminence; where, from its Grecian temple, her eye, wandering over a wide tract of country to the south-east, could fondly rest on the farthest ridge of hills in the horizon, and fancy that from their summits Combe Magna might be seen.
Marianne walked into the house, her heart full of emotion knowing she was only eighty miles from Barton and not thirty from Combe Magna. Within just five minutes of being inside, while everyone else was busy helping Charlotte introduce her child to the housekeeper, she slipped out again, making her way through the winding shrubs, which were just starting to bloom beautifully, to reach a distant hilltop. From the Grecian temple perched there, her gaze wandered over a vast stretch of countryside to the southeast, where she could dreamily focus on the farthest ridge of hills on the horizon, imagining that Combe Magna could be seen from their peaks.
In such moments of precious, invaluable misery, she rejoiced in tears of agony to be at Cleveland; and as she returned by a different circuit to the house, feeling all the happy privilege of country liberty, of wandering from place to place in free and luxurious solitude, she resolved to spend almost every hour of every day while she remained with the Palmers, in the indulgence of such solitary rambles.
In those moments of pure, priceless misery, she found joy in tears of pain from being in Cleveland; and as she took a different route back to the house, feeling the wonderful freedom of country life, wandering from place to place in blissful and comfortable solitude, she decided to spend nearly every hour of every day while staying with the Palmers indulging in such solitary walks.
She returned just in time to join the others as they quitted the [270]house, on an excursion through its more immediate premises; and the rest of the morning was easily whiled away, in lounging round the kitchen garden, examining the bloom upon its walls, and listening to the gardener's lamentations upon blights, in dawdling through the green-house, where the loss of her favourite plants, unwarily exposed, and nipped by the lingering frost, raised the laughter of Charlotte,—and in visiting her poultry-yard, where, in the disappointed hopes of her dairy-maid, by hens forsaking their nests, or being stolen by a fox, or in the rapid decrease of a promising young brood, she found fresh sources of merriment.
She got back just in time to join the others as they left the [270] house for a little adventure around the grounds. The rest of the morning passed easily as they lounged around the kitchen garden, checked out the blooms on the walls, and listened to the gardener complain about blights. They wandered through the greenhouse, where the loss of her favorite plants, accidentally left out and damaged by the lingering frost, made Charlotte laugh. Then they visited her poultry yard, where the dairy maid was disappointed by hens abandoning their nests, being stolen by a fox, or the sudden loss of a promising young brood, which provided even more reasons to laugh.
The morning was fine and dry, and Marianne, in her plan of employment abroad, had not calculated for any change of weather during their stay at Cleveland. With great surprise therefore, did she find herself prevented by a settled rain from going out again after dinner. She had depended on a twilight walk to the Grecian temple, and perhaps all over the grounds, and an evening merely cold or damp would not have deterred her from it; but a heavy and settled rain even she could not fancy dry or pleasant weather for walking.
The morning was nice and dry, and Marianne, in her plans for the day, hadn't expected any change in the weather during their time in Cleveland. So she was quite surprised to find that a steady rain was keeping her from going out again after dinner. She had been counting on a walk at twilight to the Grecian temple, and maybe all around the grounds, and even a chilly or damp evening wouldn’t have stopped her; but a heavy, persistent rain was something that even she couldn't imagine enjoying while walking.
Their party was small, and the hours passed quietly away. Mrs. Palmer had her child, and Mrs. Jennings her carpet-work; they talked of the friends they had left behind, arranged Lady Middleton's engagements, and wondered whether Mr. Palmer and Colonel Brandon would get farther than Reading that night. Elinor, however little concerned in it, joined in their discourse; and Marianne, who had the knack of finding her way in every house to the library, however it might be avoided by the family in general, soon procured herself a book.
Their gathering was small, and the hours drifted by quietly. Mrs. Palmer had her child, and Mrs. Jennings had her knitting; they chatted about the friends they had left behind, planned Lady Middleton's schedule, and speculated whether Mr. Palmer and Colonel Brandon would make it past Reading that night. Elinor, although not very invested in it, joined in their conversation; and Marianne, who had a talent for discovering the library in every house, no matter how much the family tried to avoid it, quickly found herself a book.
Nothing was wanting on Mrs. Palmer's side that constant and friendly good humour could do, to make them feel themselves welcome. The openness and heartiness of her manner more than atoned for that want of recollection and elegance which made her often deficient in the forms of politeness; her kindness, recommended by so pretty a face, was engaging; her folly, though evident was not disgusting, because it was not conceited; and Elinor could have forgiven every thing but her laugh.
Mrs. Palmer did everything she could to make them feel welcome with her constant, friendly good humor. Her open and warm manner more than made up for her lack of memory and elegance, which sometimes caused her to miss the usual polite formalities. Her kindness, paired with her pretty face, was charming; her silly behavior, while obvious, wasn’t off-putting because it wasn’t arrogant. Elinor could have overlooked everything except for her laugh.
The two gentlemen arrived the next day to a very late dinner, affording a pleasant enlargement of the party, and a[272] very welcome variety to their conversation, which a long morning of the same continued rain had reduced very low.
The two gentlemen showed up the next day for a very late dinner, which expanded the group nicely and added a much-appreciated change to their conversation, which had dwindled due to a long morning of unending rain.
Elinor had seen so little of Mr. Palmer, and in that little had seen so much variety in his address to her sister and herself, that she knew not what to expect to find him in his own family. She found him, however, perfectly the gentleman in his behaviour to all his visitors, and only occasionally rude to his wife and her mother; she found him very capable of being a pleasant companion, and only prevented from being so always, by too great an aptitude to fancy himself as much superior to people in general, as he must feel himself to be to Mrs. Jennings and Charlotte. For the rest of his character and habits, they were marked, as far as Elinor could perceive, with no traits at all unusual in his sex and time of life. He was nice in his eating, uncertain in his hours; fond of his child, though affecting to slight it; and idled away the mornings at billiards, which ought to have been devoted to business. She liked him, however, upon the whole, much better than she had expected, and in her heart was not sorry that she could like him no more; not sorry to be driven by the observation of his epicurism, his selfishness, and his conceit, to rest with complacency on the remembrance of Edward's generous temper, simple taste, and diffident feelings.
Elinor had seen so little of Mr. Palmer, and in that brief time had noticed so much variety in how he interacted with her sister and herself, that she really didn't know what to expect from him within his own family. However, she found him to be very much a gentleman in his behavior towards all his visitors, only occasionally rude to his wife and her mother. She observed he was quite capable of being a pleasant companion, and was only held back from being so all the time by his tendency to think of himself as superior to most people, especially Mrs. Jennings and Charlotte. As for the rest of his character and habits, they seemed to Elinor to have no traits at all unusual for men of his age and time. He was particular about his food, had unpredictable hours, loved his child while pretending to ignore it, and wasted his mornings playing billiards when he really should have been working. However, she generally liked him much more than she had anticipated and, in her heart, was not upset that she couldn't like him more; she wasn’t sorry to be reminded, through his love for indulgence, selfishness, and arrogance, to reflect with satisfaction on Edward's generous nature, simple tastes, and humble feelings.
Of Edward, or at least of some of his concerns, she now received intelligence from Colonel Brandon, who had been into Dorsetshire lately; and who, treating her at once as the disinterested friend of Mr. Ferrars, and the kind confidante of himself, talked to her a great deal of the parsonage at Delaford, described its deficiencies, and told her what he meant to do himself towards removing them. His behaviour to her in this, as well as in every other particular, his open pleasure in meeting her after an absence of only ten days, his readiness to converse with her, and his deference for her opinion, might very well justify Mrs. Jennings's persuasion of his attachment, and would have been enough, perhaps, had not Elinor still, as from the first, believed Marianne his real favourite, to make her suspect it herself. But as it was, such a notion had scarcely ever entered her head, except by Mrs. Jennings's suggestion; and she could not help believing herself the nicest observer of the two: she watched his eyes, while Mrs. Jennings thought only of his behaviour; and while his looks of anxious[273] solicitude on Marianne's feeling, in her head and throat, the beginning of a heavy cold, because unexpressed by words, entirely escaped the latter lady's observation,—she could discover in them the quick feelings, and needless alarm of a lover.
Of Edward, or at least some of his concerns, she now heard from Colonel Brandon, who had recently been to Dorsetshire. Treating her as both the selfless friend of Mr. Ferrars and his kind confidante, he talked to her a lot about the parsonage at Delaford, described its shortcomings, and explained what he intended to do to improve them. His behavior toward her in this, as well as in everything else, his genuine happiness at seeing her after just ten days apart, his eagerness to talk to her, and his respect for her opinions might have easily justified Mrs. Jennings's belief in his feelings for her. It would have been enough to make Elinor suspect it too, if she had not always believed that Marianne was his true favorite. But as it was, such an idea had hardly ever crossed her mind, except from Mrs. Jennings's suggestion; and she couldn't help but think of herself as the more perceptive observer of the two. She paid attention to his eyes, while Mrs. Jennings focused only on his actions. Meanwhile, his looks of anxious concern for Marianne's health and the beginnings of a bad cold were completely missed by the latter lady, as they weren't expressed in words—she could see the intense feelings and unwarranted worry of a lover.
Two delightful twilight walks on the third and fourth evenings of her being there, not merely on the dry gravel of the shrubbery, but all over the grounds, and especially in the most distant parts of them, where there was something more of wildness than in the rest, where the trees were the oldest, and the grass was the longest and wettest, had—assisted by the still greater imprudence of sitting in her wet shoes and stockings—given Marianne a cold so violent as, though for a day or two trifled with or denied, would force itself by increasing ailments on the concern of every body, and the notice of herself. Prescriptions poured in from all quarters, and as usual, were all declined. Though heavy and feverish, with a pain in her limbs, and a cough, and a sore throat, a good night's rest was to cure her entirely; and it was with difficulty that Elinor prevailed on her, when she went to bed, to try one or two of the simplest of the remedies.
Two lovely evening walks on the third and fourth nights of her stay, not just on the dry gravel of the flowerbeds, but all over the grounds, especially in the farthest areas where the wildness was more apparent, where the trees were the oldest and the grass was the longest and dampest, had—compounded by the even greater foolishness of sitting in her wet shoes and socks—given Marianne such a severe cold that, after a day or two of playing it down or denying it, it would insistently make itself known with worsening symptoms to everyone, including herself. Remedies flooded in from all sides, and as usual, she turned them all down. Even though she felt heavy and feverish, with aches in her limbs, a cough, and a sore throat, she believed a good night's rest would completely heal her; and it was with great effort that Elinor convinced her, when she went to bed, to try one or two of the simplest remedies.
CHAPTER XLIII
Marianne got up the next morning at her usual time; to every inquiry replied that she was better, and tried to prove herself so, by engaging in her accustomary employments. But a day spent in sitting shivering over the fire with a book in her hand, which she was unable to read, or in lying, weary and languid, on a sofa, did not speak much in favour of her amendment; and when, at last, she went early to bed, more and more indisposed, Colonel Brandon was only astonished at her sister's composure, who, though attending and nursing her the whole day, against Marianne's inclination, and forcing proper medicines on her at night, trusted, like Marianne, to the certainty and efficacy of sleep, and felt no real alarm.
Marianne got up the next morning at her usual time. To every question, she replied that she felt better and tried to show it by doing her usual activities. However, spending the day sitting shivering by the fire with a book she couldn’t read, or lying on the sofa, tired and drained, didn’t suggest much improvement. When she finally went to bed early, feeling worse, Colonel Brandon was only surprised by her sister’s calmness. Even though she had been taking care of Marianne all day against her wishes and insisting on giving her the right medicines at night, she, like Marianne, believed in the power and effectiveness of sleep and was not genuinely worried.
A very restless and feverish night, however, disappointed the expectation of both; and when Marianne, after persisting in rising, confessed herself unable to sit up, and returned[274] voluntarily to her bed, Elinor was very ready to adopt Mrs. Jennings's advice, of sending for the Palmers' apothecary.
A very restless and feverish night, however, disappointed the expectation of both; and when Marianne, after insisting on getting up, admitted she couldn't stay sitting and went[274] back to bed on her own, Elinor was more than willing to follow Mrs. Jennings's suggestion of calling the Palmers' doctor.
He came, examined his patient, and though encouraging Miss Dashwood to expect that a very few days would restore her sister to health, yet, by pronouncing her disorder to have a putrid tendency, and allowing the word "infection" to pass his lips, gave instant alarm to Mrs. Palmer, on her baby's account. Mrs. Jennings, who had been inclined from the first to think Marianne's complaint more serious than Elinor, now looked very grave on Mr. Harris's report, and confirming Charlotte's fears and caution, urged the necessity of her immediate removal with her infant; and Mr. Palmer, though treating their apprehensions as idle, found the anxiety and importunity of his wife too great to be withstood. Her departure, therefore, was fixed on; and within an hour after Mr. Harris's arrival, she set off, with her little boy and his nurse, for the house of a near relation of Mr. Palmer's, who lived a few miles on the other side of Bath; whither her husband promised, at her earnest entreaty, to join her in a day or two; and whither she was almost equally urgent with her mother to accompany her. Mrs. Jennings, however, with a kindness of heart which made Elinor really love her, declared her resolution of not stirring from Cleveland as long as Marianne remained ill, and of endeavouring, by her own attentive care, to supply to her the place of the mother she had taken her from; and Elinor found her on every occasion a most willing and active helpmate, desirous to share in all her fatigues, and often by her better experience in nursing, of material use.
He arrived, checked on his patient, and while encouraging Miss Dashwood to believe that her sister would be healthy again in just a few days, he also diagnosed her illness as potentially serious by mentioning that it had a putrid tendency and using the word "infection." This immediately alarmed Mrs. Palmer, who was concerned about her baby. Mrs. Jennings, who had suspected from the beginning that Marianne's condition was more serious than Elinor thought, became very serious after Mr. Harris's report. She confirmed Charlotte's fears and insisted on the urgent need to move Marianne and her infant right away. Mr. Palmer, although dismissing their fears as trivial, couldn’t resist the anxiety and insistence of his wife. So, they set a departure time; within an hour after Mr. Harris arrived, she left with her little boy and his nurse to stay with a close relative of Mr. Palmer’s, a few miles beyond Bath, where her husband promised, at her urgent request, to join her in a day or two. She was also quite insistent that her mother come with her. However, Mrs. Jennings, with a kindness that genuinely made Elinor appreciate her, declared that she would not leave Cleveland as long as Marianne was unwell and would try her best, with attentive care, to replace the mother Marianne was separated from. Elinor found her to be a very willing and active helper at every turn, eager to share in all the hard work, and often, thanks to her more extensive nursing experience, she was incredibly helpful.
Poor Marianne, languid and low from the nature of her malady, and feeling herself universally ill, could no longer hope that tomorrow would find her recovered; and the idea of what tomorrow would have produced, but for this unlucky illness, made every ailment severe; for on that day they were to have begun their journey home; and, attended the whole way by a servant of Mrs. Jennings, were to have taken their mother by surprise on the following forenoon. The little she said was all in lamentation of this inevitable delay; though Elinor tried to raise her spirits, and make her believe, as she then really believed herself, that it would be a very short one.
Poor Marianne, weak and down because of her illness, feeling generally unwell, could no longer hope that tomorrow would find her feeling better; and the thought of what tomorrow could have brought, if it weren't for this unfortunate sickness, made every ache feel worse. They were supposed to start their journey home that day, and with a servant from Mrs. Jennings accompanying them the whole way, they were planning to surprise their mother the next morning. The little she said was all about mourning this unavoidable delay; even though Elinor tried to lift her spirits and make her believe, as she truly believed herself at that moment, that the setback would be very brief.
The next day produced little or no alteration in the state of the[275] patient; she certainly was not better, and, except that there was no amendment, did not appear worse. Their party was now farther reduced; for Mr. Palmer, though very unwilling to go as well from real humanity and good-nature, as from a dislike of appearing to be frightened away by his wife, was persuaded at last by Colonel Brandon to perform his promise of following her; and while he was preparing to go, Colonel Brandon himself, with a much greater exertion, began to talk of going likewise. Here, however, the kindness of Mrs. Jennings interposed most acceptably; for to send the Colonel away while his love was in so much uneasiness on her sister's account, would be to deprive them both, she thought, of every comfort; and therefore telling him at once that his stay at Cleveland was necessary to herself, that she should want him to play at piquet of an evening, while Miss Dashwood was above with her sister, &c. she urged him so strongly to remain, that he, who was gratifying the first wish of his own heart by a compliance, could not long even affect to demur; especially as Mrs. Jennings's entreaty was warmly seconded by Mr. Palmer, who seemed to feel a relief to himself, in leaving behind him a person so well able to assist or advise Miss Dashwood in any emergence.
The next day showed little to no change in the state of the[275]patient; she definitely wasn't better, and apart from the fact that there was no improvement, she didn't seem worse either. Their group had now shrunk even more; Mr. Palmer, although reluctant to leave due to genuine compassion and his kind nature as well as not wanting to seem scared off by his wife, was eventually convinced by Colonel Brandon to keep his promise to follow her. While he was getting ready to go, Colonel Brandon, with much more effort, started talking about leaving as well. Fortunately, Mrs. Jennings stepped in kindly; she thought sending the Colonel away while his love was so upset about her sister would deprive them both of comfort. So, she told him that his stay at Cleveland was essential for her, that she would need him to play piquet in the evenings while Miss Dashwood was upstairs with her sister, and she urged him so strongly to stay that he, who was fulfilling the deepest desire of his heart by agreeing, couldn't pretend to hesitate for long. This was especially true since Mrs. Jennings's request was strongly supported by Mr. Palmer, who seemed relieved to leave someone behind who could assist or advise Miss Dashwood in any situation.
Marianne was, of course, kept in ignorance of all these arrangements. She knew not that she had been the means of sending the owners of Cleveland away, in about seven days from the time of their arrival. It gave her no surprise that she saw nothing of Mrs. Palmer; and as it gave her likewise no concern, she never mentioned her name.
Marianne was, of course, unaware of all these plans. She had no idea that she was the reason the owners of Cleveland had left, just about a week after they arrived. It didn’t surprise her that she hadn’t seen Mrs. Palmer; and since it didn’t bother her either, she never brought her up.
Two days passed away from the time of Mr. Palmer's departure, and her situation continued, with little variation, the same. Mr. Harris, who attended her every day, still talked boldly of a speedy recovery, and Miss Dashwood was equally sanguine; but the expectation of the others was by no means so cheerful. Mrs. Jennings had determined very early in the seizure that Marianne would never get over it, and Colonel Brandon, who was chiefly of use in listening to Mrs. Jennings's forebodings, was not in a state of mind to resist their influence. He tried to reason himself out of fears, which the different judgment of the apothecary seemed to render absurd; but the many hours of each day in which he was left entirely alone, were but too favourable for the admission of[276] every melancholy idea, and he could not expel from his mind the persuasion that he should see Marianne no more.
Two days had passed since Mr. Palmer left, and her situation remained mostly unchanged. Mr. Harris, who checked on her every day, still confidently spoke of a quick recovery, and Miss Dashwood shared his optimism. However, the expectations of others were far less hopeful. Mrs. Jennings had decided early on that Marianne would never pull through, and Colonel Brandon, who mostly listened to Mrs. Jennings's gloomy predictions, wasn't in a mindset to resist their impact. He tried to talk himself out of his worries, which seemed silly in light of the apothecary's differing opinion. Yet, the countless hours he spent alone each day were all too conducive to allowing every sad thought to creep in, and he couldn't shake the belief that he would never see Marianne again.
On the morning of the third day however, the gloomy anticipations of both were almost done away; for when Mr. Harris arrived, he declared his patient materially better. Her pulse was much stronger, and every symptom more favourable than on the preceding visit. Elinor, confirmed in every pleasant hope, was all cheerfulness; rejoicing that in her letters to her mother, she had pursued her own judgment rather than her friend's, in making very light of the indisposition which delayed them at Cleveland; and almost fixing on the time when Marianne would be able to travel.
On the morning of the third day, however, the gloomy worries of both were almost gone; because when Mr. Harris arrived, he announced that his patient was significantly better. Her pulse was much stronger, and every symptom looked more promising than during his last visit. Elinor, now filled with every hopeful thought, was all cheerfulness; she was thrilled that in her letters to her mother, she had followed her own judgment rather than her friend's by downplaying the illness that had delayed them at Cleveland; and she was almost certain about when Marianne would be able to travel.
But the day did not close so auspiciously as it began. Towards the evening Marianne became ill again, growing more heavy, restless, and uncomfortable than before. Her sister, however, still sanguine, was willing to attribute the change to nothing more than the fatigue of having sat up to have her bed made; and carefully administering the cordials prescribed, saw her, with satisfaction, sink at last into a slumber, from which she expected the most beneficial effects. Her sleep, though not so quiet as Elinor wished to see it, lasted a considerable time; and anxious to observe the result of it herself, she resolved to sit with her during the whole of it. Mrs. Jennings, knowing nothing of any change in the patient, went unusually early to bed; her maid, who was one of the principal nurses, was recreating herself in the housekeeper's room, and Elinor remained alone with Marianne.
But the day didn’t end as promisingly as it started. By evening, Marianne fell ill again, feeling heavier, more restless, and more uncomfortable than before. However, her sister, still hopeful, was ready to attribute the change to nothing more than the exhaustion of having stayed up to have her bed made. After carefully giving her the prescribed tonics, she felt pleased to see her finally drift off to sleep, from which she hoped to see great benefits. Although her sleep wasn’t as peaceful as Elinor had hoped, it lasted quite a while; wanting to see how it would turn out, she decided to stay with her throughout. Mrs. Jennings, unaware of any change in Marianne’s condition, went to bed unusually early. Her maid, who was one of the main caregivers, was entertaining herself in the housekeeper’s room, leaving Elinor alone with Marianne.
The repose of the latter became more and more disturbed; and her sister, who watched, with unremitting attention her continual change of posture, and heard the frequent but inarticulate sounds of complaint which passed her lips, was almost wishing to rouse her from so painful a slumber, when Marianne, suddenly awakened by some accidental noise in the house, started hastily up, and, with feverish wildness, cried out,—
The rest of the latter became increasingly disturbed; and her sister, who was watching her closely and noticed her constant shifting and the frequent soft sounds of discomfort that escaped her lips, almost felt like shaking her awake from such a troubled sleep, when Marianne suddenly woke up from a random noise in the house, jumped up quickly, and, with a frantic look in her eyes, shouted,—
"Is mama coming?—"
"Is mom coming?"
"Not yet," cried the other, concealing her terror, and assisting Marianne to lie down again, "but she will be here, I hope, before it is long. It is a great way, you know, from hence to Barton."
"Not yet," the other exclaimed, hiding her fear and helping Marianne lie down again, "but I hope she'll be here soon. It's quite a distance from here to Barton, you know."
"But she must not go round by London," cried Marianne,[277] in the same hurried manner. "I shall never see her, if she goes by London."
"But she can't go through London," cried Marianne,[277] in the same rushed tone. "I’ll never get to see her if she takes that route."
Elinor perceived with alarm that she was not quite herself, and, while attempting to soothe her, eagerly felt her pulse. It was lower and quicker than ever! and Marianne, still talking wildly of mama, her alarm increased so rapidly, as to determine her on sending instantly for Mr. Harris, and despatching a messenger to Barton for her mother. To consult with Colonel Brandon on the best means of effecting the latter, was a thought which immediately followed the resolution of its performance; and as soon she had rung up the maid to take her place by her sister, she hastened down to the drawing-room, where she knew he was generally to be found at a much later hour than the present.
Elinor realized with alarm that she wasn't quite herself, and while trying to comfort her, she eagerly checked her pulse. It was lower and faster than ever! And as Marianne continued to talk frantically about their mom, Elinor's concern grew so quickly that she decided to send for Mr. Harris right away and dispatch someone to Barton for their mother. The idea of consulting with Colonel Brandon on the best way to do that came to her immediately after she made the decision. As soon as she called the maid to stay with her sister, she rushed down to the living room, where she knew he usually was at much later hours than this.
It was no time for hesitation. Her fears and her difficulties were immediately before him. Her fears, he had no courage, no confidence to attempt the removal of; he listened to them in silent despondence; but her difficulties were instantly obviated, for with a readiness that seemed to speak the occasion, and the service pre-arranged in his mind, he offered himself as the messenger who should fetch Mrs. Dashwood. Elinor made no resistance that was not easily overcome. She thanked him with brief, though fervent gratitude, and while he went to hurry off his servant with a message to Mr. Harris, and an order for post-horses directly, she wrote a few lines to her mother.
It was not the time to hesitate. Her fears and challenges were right in front of him. He felt no courage or confidence to tackle her fears; he listened to them in silent despair. However, her challenges were quickly resolved, as he immediately offered to be the one to fetch Mrs. Dashwood, showing a readiness that suggested he had been preparing for this. Elinor didn't resist him in any significant way. She thanked him with brief but heartfelt gratitude, and while he hurried to send his servant with a message to Mr. Harris and an order for post-horses, she quickly wrote a few lines to her mother.
The comfort of such a friend at that moment as Colonel Brandon—or such a companion for her mother,—how gratefully was it felt!—a companion whose judgment would guide, whose attendance must relieve, and whose friendship might soothe her!—as far as the shock of such a summons could be lessened to her, his presence, his manners, his assistance, would lessen it.
The comfort of having a friend like Colonel Brandon at that moment—or a companion for her mother—was incredibly appreciated! A companion whose judgment could guide, whose presence would provide support, and whose friendship could offer comfort! As much as the shock of such a situation could be eased for her, his presence, his demeanor, and his help would make a difference.
He, meanwhile, whatever he might feel, acted with all the firmness of a collected mind, made every necessary arrangement with the utmost despatch, and calculated with exactness the time in which she might look for his return. Not a moment was lost in delay of any kind. The horses arrived, even before they were expected, and Colonel Brandon only pressing her hand with a look of solemnity, and a few words spoken too low to reach her ear, hurried into the carriage. It was then[278] about twelve o'clock, and she returned to her sister's apartment to wait for the arrival of the apothecary, and to watch by her the rest of the night. It was a night of almost equal suffering to both. Hour after hour passed away in sleepless pain and delirium on Marianne's side, and in the most cruel anxiety on Elinor's, before Mr. Harris appeared. Her apprehensions once raised, paid by their excess for all her former security; and the servant who sat up with her, for she would not allow Mrs. Jennings to be called, only tortured her more, by hints of what her mistress had always thought.
He, on the other hand, no matter what he was feeling, acted with the composure of a clear mind, made all the necessary arrangements as quickly as possible, and calculated precisely the time she could expect him back. Not a moment was wasted in any kind of delay. The horses arrived even earlier than anticipated, and Colonel Brandon, only squeezing her hand with a serious expression and whispering a few words too quiet for her to hear, hurried into the carriage. It was then[278] around midnight, and she went back to her sister's room to wait for the apothecary’s arrival and to keep watch over her for the rest of the night. It was a night of almost equal suffering for both of them. Hour after hour dragged on, with Marianne experiencing sleepless pain and delirium, while Elinor endured the worst anxiety until Mr. Harris finally showed up. Once her fears were raised, they overwhelmed her former sense of security; and the servant who stayed with her, since she wouldn’t let Mrs. Jennings be called, only added to her distress with vague hints about what her mistress had always believed.
Marianne's ideas were still, at intervals, fixed incoherently on her mother, and whenever she mentioned her name, it gave a pang to the heart of poor Elinor, who, reproaching herself for having trifled with so many days of illness, and wretched for some immediate relief, fancied that all relief might soon be in vain, that every thing had been delayed too long, and pictured to herself her suffering mother arriving too late to see this darling child, or to see her rational.
Marianne's thoughts still occasionally drifted incoherently to her mother, and every time she mentioned her name, it hurt Elinor's heart, who blamed herself for wasting so many days of illness. Feeling desperate for some kind of relief, she worried that any help might come too late, that everything had been postponed for too long, and she imagined her suffering mother arriving too late to see her beloved child or to see her in her right mind.
She was on the point of sending again for Mr. Harris, or if he could not come, for some other advice, when the former—but not till after five o'clock—arrived. His opinion, however, made some little amends for his delay, for though acknowledging a very unexpected and unpleasant alteration in his patient, he would not allow the danger to be material, and talked of the relief which a fresh mode of treatment must procure, with a confidence which, in a lesser degree, was communicated to Elinor. He promised to call again in the course of three or four hours, and left both the patient and her anxious attendant more composed than he had found them.
She was about to send for Mr. Harris again, or if he couldn't come, to seek some other advice, when he finally arrived—but not until after five o'clock. His opinion, however, somewhat made up for his late arrival, as he acknowledged a surprising and unpleasant change in his patient but insisted that the danger wasn't significant. He spoke with confidence about how a new treatment approach would bring relief, which eased Elinor’s worries, if only a little. He promised to return in three or four hours and left both the patient and her anxious caretaker feeling calmer than he had found them.
With strong concern, and with many reproaches for not being called to their aid, did Mrs. Jennings hear in the morning of what had passed. Her former apprehensions, now with greater reason restored, left her no doubt of the event; and though trying to speak comfort to Elinor, her conviction of her sister's danger would not allow her to offer the comfort of hope. Her heart was really grieved. The rapid decay, the early death of a girl so young, so lovely as Marianne, must have struck a less interested person with concern. On Mrs. Jennings's compassion she had other claims. She had been for three months her companion, was still under her care, and she was known to have been greatly[279] injured, and long unhappy. The distress of her sister too, particularly a favourite, was before her;—and as for their mother, when Mrs. Jennings considered that Marianne might probably be to her what Charlotte was to herself, her sympathy in her sufferings was very sincere.
With deep concern and a lot of frustration for not being called for help, Mrs. Jennings learned in the morning about what had happened. Her previous fears, now with even more reason, left her no doubt about the outcome; and although she tried to comfort Elinor, her belief in her sister's danger prevented her from offering any hope. Her heart was truly saddened. The quick decline and early death of a girl so young and beautiful as Marianne would have troubled even someone less emotionally involved. Mrs. Jennings felt a particular compassion for her, having been her companion for three months, still under her care, and known to have been greatly injured and deeply unhappy. The distress of her sister, especially one who was a favorite, was also on her mind; and when Mrs. Jennings thought about how Marianne might be to her what Charlotte was to her, her empathy for those sufferings was very genuine.
Mr. Harris was punctual in his second visit; but he came to be disappointed in his hopes of what the last would produce. His medicines had failed; the fever was unabated; and Marianne only more quiet—not more herself—remained in a heavy stupor. Elinor, catching all, and more than all, his fears in a moment, proposed to call in further advice. But he judged it unnecessary: he had still something more to try, some more fresh application, of whose success he was as confident as the last, and his visit concluded with encouraging assurances which reached the ear, but could not enter the heart of Miss Dashwood. She was calm, except when she thought of her mother; but she was almost hopeless; and in this state she continued till noon, scarcely stirring from her sister's bed, her thoughts wandering from one image of grief, one suffering friend to another, and her spirits oppressed to the utmost by the conversation of Mrs. Jennings, who scrupled not to attribute the severity and danger of this attack to the many weeks of previous indisposition which Marianne's disappointment had brought on. Elinor felt all the reasonableness of the idea, and it gave fresh misery to her reflections.
Mr. Harris was on time for his second visit, but he was disappointed with what the last one had produced. His medicines hadn’t worked; the fever hadn’t lessened, and Marianne was only quieter—not more like herself—remaining in a deep stupor. Elinor, sensing all of his fears and even more, suggested calling for additional advice. But he deemed it unnecessary: he still had one more thing to try, some new treatment he was just as confident about as the last one, and he ended his visit with encouraging reassurances that reached Miss Dashwood’s ears but couldn’t touch her heart. She was calm, except when she thought about her mother; but she felt almost hopeless. This state continued until noon, as she hardly moved from her sister’s bed, her thoughts drifting from one painful image of grief to another, and her spirits weighed down by Mrs. Jennings’ conversation, who didn’t hesitate to blame the severity and risk of this bout on the weeks of previous illness that Marianne’s disappointment had caused. Elinor recognized the validity of this idea, which only added to her misery.
About noon, however, she began—but with a caution—a dread of disappointment which for some time kept her silent, even to her friend—to fancy, to hope she could perceive a slight amendment in her sister's pulse; she waited, watched, and examined it again and again; and at last, with an agitation more difficult to bury under exterior calmness, than all her foregoing distress, ventured to communicate her hopes. Mrs. Jennings, though forced, on examination, to acknowledge a temporary revival, tried to keep her young friend from indulging a thought of its continuance; and Elinor, conning over every injunction of distrust, told herself likewise not to hope. But it was too late. Hope had already entered; and feeling all its anxious flutter, she bent over her sister to watch—she hardly knew for what. Half an hour passed away, and the favourable symptom yet blessed her. Others even arose to confirm it. Her breath, her skin, her lips, all flattered Elinor with signs of[280] amendment; and Marianne fixed her eyes on her with a rational, though languid, gaze. Anxiety and hope now oppressed her in equal degrees, and left her no moment of tranquillity till the arrival of Mr. Harris at four o'clock; when his assurances, his felicitations on a recovery in her sister even surpassing his expectation, gave her confidence, comfort, and tears of joy.
About noon, she started—cautiously, with a fear of disappointment that kept her quiet for a while, even with her friend—hoping that she could see a slight improvement in her sister's pulse. She waited, watched, and checked it over and over again; finally, with a sense of agitation harder to hide under a calm exterior than all her previous distress, she dared to share her hopes. Mrs. Jennings, although she had to admit, upon closer inspection, that there was a temporary improvement, tried to keep her young friend from getting her hopes up for its continuation; and Elinor, recalling every warning against optimism, reminded herself not to hope. But it was too late. Hope had already seeped in; feeling its anxious flutter, she leaned over her sister to watch—she hardly knew what for. Half an hour went by, and the positive sign was still there. More signs appeared to support it. Her breath, her skin, her lips all gave Elinor indications of improvement; and Marianne looked at her with a rational, though weak, gaze. Anxiety and hope now weighed equally on her, robbing her of any peace until Mr. Harris arrived at four o'clock. His reassurances and congratulations on her sister's recovery, which exceeded even his expectations, filled her with confidence, comfort, and tears of joy.
Marianne was in every respect materially better, and he declared her entirely out of danger. Mrs. Jennings, perhaps satisfied with the partial justification of her forebodings which had been found in their late alarm, allowed herself to trust in his judgment, and admitted, with unfeigned joy, and soon with unequivocal cheerfulness, the probability of an entire recovery.
Marianne was definitely in a better place, and he assured her that she was completely out of danger. Mrs. Jennings, maybe feeling somewhat validated by her earlier worries that had been shown to have some truth in their recent scare, decided to trust his judgment. She accepted, with genuine happiness, and soon with clear optimism, the likelihood of a full recovery.
Elinor could not be cheerful. Her joy was of a different kind, and led to any thing rather than to gaiety. Marianne restored to life, health, friends, and to her doting mother, was an idea to fill her heart with sensations of exquisite comfort, and expand it in fervent gratitude;—but it led to no outward demonstrations of joy, no words, no smiles. All within Elinor's breast was satisfaction, silent and strong.
Elinor couldn't feel cheerful. Her happiness was different and didn't lead to lightheartedness. The thought of Marianne being back to life, healthy, with friends, and her loving mother filled her heart with a deep sense of comfort and immense gratitude; but it didn’t bring any outward signs of joy—no words, no smiles. Inside Elinor, there was a quiet but powerful satisfaction.
She continued by the side of her sister, with little intermission the whole afternoon, calming every fear, satisfying every inquiry of her enfeebled spirits, supplying every succour, and watching almost every look and every breath. The possibility of a relapse would of course, in some moments, occur to remind her of what anxiety was; but when she saw, on her frequent and minute examination, that every symptom of recovery continued, and saw Marianne at six o'clock sink into a quiet, steady, and to all appearance comfortable, sleep, she silenced every doubt.
She stayed by her sister's side for most of the afternoon, calming every fear, answering every question that her frail spirits had, providing every bit of support, and watching almost every look and breath. The chance of a relapse would occasionally pop into her mind, reminding her of what anxiety felt like; however, when she saw, through her frequent and careful checks, that every sign of recovery was still present, and then saw Marianne settle into a peaceful, steady, and seemingly comfortable sleep at six o'clock, she silenced all her doubts.
The time was now drawing on, when Colonel Brandon might be expected back. At ten o'clock, she trusted, or at least not much later her mother would be relieved from the dreadful suspense in which she must now be travelling towards them. The Colonel, too!—perhaps scarcely less an object of pity! Oh! how slow was the progress of time which yet kept them in ignorance!
The time was now getting closer for Colonel Brandon's return. She hoped that by ten o'clock, or at least not much later, her mother would be freed from the terrible suspense she must be feeling as they came closer. The Colonel, too!—he was perhaps just as deserving of sympathy! Oh, how slowly time was moving, keeping them in the dark!
At seven o'clock, leaving Marianne still sweetly asleep, she joined Mrs. Jennings in the drawing-room to tea. Of breakfast she had been kept by her fears, and of dinner by their sudden[281] reverse, from eating much; and the present refreshment, therefore, with such feelings of content as she brought to it, was particularly welcome. Mrs. Jennings would have persuaded her, at its conclusion, to take some rest before her mother's arrival, and allow her to take her place by Marianne; but Elinor had no sense of fatigue, no capability of sleep at that moment about her, and she was not to be kept away from her sister an unnecessary instant. Mrs. Jennings therefore attending her up stairs into the sick chamber, to satisfy herself that all continued right, left her there again to her charge and her thoughts, and retired to her own room to write letters and sleep.
At seven o'clock, leaving Marianne still sweetly asleep, she joined Mrs. Jennings in the living room for tea. She had skipped breakfast because of her worries, and dinner due to their sudden change of plans, so this refreshment, with the feelings of content she brought to it, was especially welcome. Mrs. Jennings tried to convince her, after they finished, to take a nap before her mother arrived and let her sit with Marianne, but Elinor didn’t feel tired or in need of sleep at that moment, and she wouldn’t be kept away from her sister for any longer than necessary. So, Mrs. Jennings went upstairs with her to the sick room to make sure everything was okay, then left her there with her thoughts and went back to her own room to write letters and rest.
The night was cold and stormy. The wind roared round the house, and the rain beat against the windows; but Elinor, all happiness within, regarded it not. Marianne slept through every blast; and the travellers, they had a rich reward in store, for every present inconvenience.
The night was cold and stormy. The wind howled around the house, and the rain pounded against the windows; but Elinor, filled with happiness inside, paid no attention to it. Marianne slept through every gust; and the travelers had a great reward waiting for them, despite the current discomfort.
The clock struck eight. Had it been ten, Elinor would have been convinced that at that moment she heard a carriage driving up to the house; and so strong was the persuasion that she did, in spite of the almost impossibility of their being already come, that she moved into the adjoining dressing-closet and opened a window shutter, to be satisfied of the truth. She instantly saw that her ears had not deceived her. The flaring lamps of a carriage were immediately in view. By their uncertain light she thought she could discern it to be drawn by four horses; and this, while it told the excess of her poor mother's alarm, gave some explanation to such unexpected rapidity.
The clock struck eight. If it had been ten, Elinor would have been sure that she heard a carriage approaching the house; and the belief was so strong that she actually did, despite the almost impossibility of their having arrived already, that she moved into the nearby dressing closet and opened a window shutter to confirm it. She quickly realized her ears hadn't deceived her. The bright lights of a carriage were immediately visible. By their flickering glow, she thought she could make out that it was being pulled by four horses; and this, while it revealed how worried her poor mother was, also explained the unexpected speed.
Never in her life had Elinor found it so difficult to be calm, as at that moment. The knowledge of what her mother must be feeling as the carriage stopped the door,—of her doubt—her dread,—perhaps her despair!—and of what she had to tell! with such knowledge it was impossible to be calm. All that remained to be done was to be speedy; and, therefore staying only till she could leave Mrs. Jennings's maid with her sister, she hurried down stairs.
Never in her life had Elinor found it so hard to stay calm as she did at that moment. Knowing what her mother must be feeling as the carriage stopped at the door—her uncertainty, her fear, maybe her hopelessness—and what she had to say! With that knowledge, it was impossible to remain calm. All that was left to do was to be quick; so, after making sure Mrs. Jennings's maid was with her sister, she rushed downstairs.
The bustle in the vestibule, as she passed along an inner lobby, assured her that they were already in the house. She rushed to the drawing-room,—she entered it,—and saw only Willoughby.
The commotion in the entrance hall confirmed to her that they were already in the house. She hurried to the living room—she walked in—and saw only Willoughby.
CHAPTER XLIV
Elinor, starting back with a look of horror at the sight of him, obeyed the first impulse of her heart in turning instantly to quit the room, and her hand was already on the lock, when its action was suspended by his hastily advancing, and saying, in a voice rather of command than supplication—
Elinor, recoiling with a look of horror at the sight of him, followed her first instinct and turned to leave the room immediately. Her hand was already on the door lock when he stepped forward quickly and said, in a tone more commanding than pleading—
"Miss Dashwood, for half an hour—for ten minutes—I entreat you to stay."
"Miss Dashwood, please stay for half an hour—just ten minutes, I ask you."
"No, sir," she replied with firmness, "I shall not stay. Your business cannot be with me. The servants, I suppose, forgot to tell you that Mr. Palmer was not in the house."
"No, sir," she replied firmly, "I will not stay. Your business isn't with me. The servants must not have mentioned that Mr. Palmer isn't home."
"Had they told me," he cried with vehemence, "that Mr. Palmer and all his relations were at the devil, it would not have turned me from the door. My business is with you, and only you."
"Had they told me," he shouted passionately, "that Mr. Palmer and all his family were in trouble, it wouldn't have stopped me from coming here. My concern is with you, and only you."
"With me!"—in the utmost amazement;—"well, sir—be quick—and if you can—less violent."
"With me!"—in total amazement;—"well, sir—hurry up—and if you can—be less aggressive."
"Sit down, and I will be both."
"Sit down, and I'll do both."
She hesitated; she knew not what to do. The possibility of Colonel Brandon's arriving and finding her there, came across her. But she had promised to hear him, and her curiosity no less than her honor was engaged. After a moment's recollection, therefore, concluding that prudence required dispatch, and that her acquiescence would best promote it, she walked silently towards the table, and sat down. He took the opposite chair, and for half a minute not a word was said by either.
She hesitated; she didn't know what to do. The thought of Colonel Brandon arriving and finding her there crossed her mind. But she had promised to listen to him, and her curiosity as much as her honor was at stake. After a moment of reflection, she decided that being sensible meant acting quickly, and that agreeing to meet him would be the best way to handle it, so she walked silently to the table and sat down. He took the chair across from her, and for half a minute, neither of them said a word.
"Pray be quick, sir," said Elinor, impatiently; "I have no time to spare."
"Please hurry, sir," Elinor said impatiently; "I don’t have time to waste."
He was sitting in an attitude of deep meditation, and seemed not to hear her.
He was sitting in a deep state of meditation and didn't seem to hear her.
"Your sister," said he, with abruptness, a moment afterwards—"is out of danger. I heard it from the servant. God be praised!—But is it true? is it really true?"
"Your sister," he said abruptly a moment later, "is out of danger. I heard it from the servant. Thank God!—But is it true? Is it really true?"
Elinor would not speak. He repeated the inquiry with yet greater eagerness.
Elinor wouldn’t say anything. He asked again with even more urgency.
"For God's sake tell me, is she out of danger, or is she not?"
"For heaven's sake, tell me, is she out of danger, or not?"
"We hope she is."
"We hope she's okay."
He rose up, and walked across the room.
He stood up and walked across the room.
"Had I known as much half an hour ago—But since I am here,"—speaking with a forced vivacity as he returned to his seat,—"what does it signify?—For once, Miss Dashwood—it will be the last time, perhaps—let us be cheerful together. I am in a fine mood for gaiety. Tell me honestly,"—a deeper glow overspreading his cheeks, "do you think me most a knave or a fool?"
"Had I known half an hour ago—But since I am here,"—he said with a forced enthusiasm as he sat back down,—"what does it matter?—Just this once, Miss Dashwood—it might be the last time—let's be happy together. I'm in a great mood for fun. Tell me honestly,"—a deeper blush spreading across his cheeks, "do you think I'm more of a jerk or an idiot?"
Elinor looked at him with greater astonishment than ever. She began to think that he must be in liquor;—the strangeness of such a visit, and of such manners, seemed no otherwise intelligible; and with this impression she immediately rose, saying—
Elinor stared at him in more disbelief than before. She started to think that he might be drunk; the oddness of that visit and his behavior didn’t make any sense otherwise. With that thought, she quickly stood up and said—
"Mr. Willoughby, I advise you at present to return to Combe—I am not at leisure to remain with you longer. Whatever your business may be with me, it will be better recollected and explained to-morrow."
"Mr. Willoughby, I suggest you go back to Combe for now—I can't stay with you any longer. Whatever you need to discuss with me, it will be better remembered and explained tomorrow."
"I understand you," he replied, with an expressive smile, and a voice perfectly calm; "yes, I am very drunk. A pint of porter with my cold beef at Marlborough was enough to over-set me."
"I get you," he said, flashing a knowing smile and speaking in a completely calm voice; "yeah, I'm really drunk. A pint of porter with my cold beef at Marlborough was enough to throw me off."
"At Marlborough!"—cried Elinor, more and more at a loss to understand what he would be at.
"At Marlborough!" Elinor exclaimed, increasingly confused about what he was getting at.
"Yes,—I left London this morning at eight o'clock, and the only ten minutes I have spent out of my chaise since that time procured me a nuncheon at Marlborough."
"Yes, I left London this morning at eight o'clock, and the only ten minutes I’ve spent out of my carriage since then were for a snack in Marlborough."
The steadiness of his manner, and the intelligence of his eye as he spoke, convincing Elinor, that whatever other unpardonable folly might bring him to Cleveland, he was not brought there by intoxication, she said, after a moment's recollection—
The calmness of his demeanor and the sharpness in his eyes as he spoke made Elinor believe that, no matter what other unforgivable mistake might have led him to Cleveland, he wasn't there because of drinking. She said this after a brief moment of reflection—
"Mr. Willoughby, you ought to feel, and I certainly do, that after what has passed—your coming here in this manner, and forcing yourself upon my notice, requires a very particular excuse. What is it, that you mean by it?"—
"Mr. Willoughby, you should feel, and I definitely do, that after everything that has happened—your arriving here like this, and putting yourself in front of me, needs a really good explanation. What do you mean by this?"—
"I mean,"—said he, with serious energy—"if I can, to make you hate me one degree less than you do now. I mean to offer some kind of explanation, some kind of apology, for the past; to open my whole heart to you, and by convincing you, that though I have been always a blockhead, I have not been[286] always a rascal, to obtain something like forgiveness from Ma——, from your sister."
"I mean," he said with serious intensity, "if I can make you hate me just a little less than you do right now. I want to give some kind of explanation, some sort of apology for the past; to open my whole heart to you, and by convincing you that even though I've always been an idiot, I haven't always been a jerk, to get something like forgiveness from Ma——, from your sister."
"Is this the real reason of your coming?"
"Is this really why you came?"
"Upon my soul it is," was his answer, with a warmth which brought all the former Willoughby to her remembrance, and in spite of herself made her think him sincere.
"Honestly, it is," he replied, with a warmth that reminded her of the old Willoughby, and despite herself, it made her believe he was being sincere.
"If that is all, you may be satisfied already; for Marianne does, she has long forgiven you."
"If that's all, you might already be satisfied; because Marianne does, she has long forgiven you."
"Has she?" he cried, in the same eager tone. "Then she has forgiven me before she ought to have done it. But she shall forgive me again, and on more reasonable grounds. Now will you listen to me?"
"Has she?" he exclaimed, in the same excited tone. "Then she has forgiven me sooner than she should have. But she will forgive me again, and for better reasons. Now will you listen to me?"
Elinor bowed her assent.
Elinor nodded her agreement.
"I do not know," said he, after a pause of expectation on her side, and thoughtfulness on his own, "how you may have accounted for my behaviour to your sister, or what diabolical motive you may have imputed to me. Perhaps you will hardly think the better of me,—it is worth the trial however, and you shall hear every thing. When I first became intimate in your family, I had no other intention, no other view in the acquaintance than to pass my time pleasantly while I was obliged to remain in Devonshire, more pleasantly than I had ever done before. Your sister's lovely person and interesting manners could not but please me; and her behaviour to me almost from the first, was of a kind—It is astonishing, when I reflect on what it was, and what she was, that my heart should have been so insensible! But at first I must confess, my vanity only was elevated by it. Careless of her happiness, thinking only of my own amusement, giving way to feelings which I had always been too much in the habit of indulging, I endeavoured, by every means in my power, to make myself pleasing to her, without any design of returning her affection."
"I don't know," he said after a moment of waiting on her part and reflection on his, "how you might have explained my behavior to your sister or what evil reason you might think I had. Maybe you won't think better of me—it’s worth a try, though, and you’ll hear everything. When I first got close to your family, I had no other intention, no other goal in getting to know you than to enjoy my time while I had to stay in Devonshire, more enjoyably than I ever had before. Your sister's beauty and engaging personality were impossible not to appreciate; and the way she treated me almost from the start—it’s surprising, when I think about what it was and who she was, that my heart could have been so unresponsive! But honestly, at first, I was just flattered. I didn’t care about her happiness; I was only focused on my own fun, giving in to feelings that I had always indulged in too much, and I tried every way I could to make myself appealing to her, without any thought of returning her feelings."
Miss Dashwood, at this point, turning her eyes on him with the most angry contempt, stopped him, by saying—
Miss Dashwood, at this point, looking at him with the utmost angry disdain, interrupted him by saying—
"It is hardly worth while, Mr. Willoughby, for you to relate, or for me to listen any longer. Such a beginning as this cannot be followed by any thing. Do not let me be pained by hearing any thing more on the subject."
"It’s hardly worth it, Mr. Willoughby, for you to share, or for me to listen any longer. A beginning like this can’t lead to anything good. Please don’t make me feel worse by hearing anything more about it."
"I insist on you hearing the whole of it," he replied, "My fortune was never large, and I had always been expensive, always in the habit of associating with people of better income[287] than myself. Every year since my coming of age, or even before, I believe, had added to my debts; and though the death of my old cousin, Mrs. Smith, was to set me free; yet that event being uncertain, and possibly far distant, it had been for some time my intention to re-establish my circumstances by marrying a woman of fortune. To attach myself to your sister, therefore, was not a thing to be thought of; and with a meanness, selfishness, cruelty, which no indignant, no contemptuous look, even of yours, Miss Dashwood, can ever reprobate too much,—I was acting in this manner, trying to engage her regard, without a thought of returning it. But one thing may be said for me: even in that horrid state of selfish vanity, I did not know the extent of the injury I meditated, because I did not then know what it was to love. But have I ever known it? Well may it be doubted; for, had I really loved, could I have sacrificed my feelings to vanity, to avarice? or, what is more, could I have sacrificed hers? But I have done it. To avoid a comparative poverty, which her affection and her society would have deprived of all its horrors, I have, by raising myself to affluence, lost every thing that could make it a blessing."
"I insist that you hear all of this," he replied. "My fortune was never substantial, and I have always been expensive, used to mingling with people who had more money than I did. Every year since I came of age, or even before, I believe, my debts have only increased. Though my old cousin, Mrs. Smith, was supposed to free me from this, that event is uncertain and likely far off. For some time, I had planned to improve my situation by marrying a woman of wealth. So, to pursue your sister was not something I considered; and with a pettiness, selfishness, and cruelty that no disdainful or contemptuous look, even from you, Miss Dashwood, could ever condemn too much—I acted in this way, trying to win her affection without any intention of returning it. But one thing can be said for me: even in that terrible state of selfish pride, I didn’t realize the extent of the harm I was causing because I didn’t know what it meant to love then. But have I ever truly known it? It’s worth questioning; for if I had really loved, could I have sacrificed my feelings for vanity, for greed? Or, more importantly, could I have sacrificed hers? Yet, I did. To avoid a relative poverty that her love and companionship would have made bearable, I have, by elevating myself to wealth, lost everything that could have made it a blessing."
"You did then," said Elinor, a little softened, "believe yourself at one time attached to her?"
"You did, didn’t you?" Elinor asked, slightly softened. "You believed you were once attached to her?"
"To have resisted such attractions, to have withstood such tenderness! Is there a man on earth who could have done it? Yes, I found myself, by insensible degrees, sincerely fond of her; and the happiest hours of my life were what I spent with her when I felt my intentions were strictly honourable, and my feelings blameless. Even then, however, when fully determined on paying my addresses to her, I allowed myself most improperly to put off, from day to day, the moment of doing it, from an unwillingness to enter into an engagement while my circumstances were so greatly embarrassed. I will not reason here—nor will I stop for you to expatiate on the absurdity, and the worse than absurdity, of scrupling to engage my faith where my honour was already bound. The event has proved, that I was a cunning fool, providing with great circumspection for a possible opportunity of making myself contemptible and wretched for ever. At last, however, my resolution was taken, and I had determined, as soon as I could engage her alone, to justify the attentions I had so invariably paid her, and openly assure her of an affection which I had already taken such pains to[288] display. But in the interim—in the interim of the very few hours that were to pass, before I could have an opportunity of speaking with her in private—a circumstance occurred—an unlucky circumstance—to ruin all my resolution, and with it all my comfort. A discovery took place,"—here he hesitated and looked down. "Mrs. Smith had somehow or other been informed, I imagine by some distant relation, whose interest it was to deprive me of her favour, of an affair, a connection—but I need not explain myself farther," he added, looking at her with an heightened colour and an enquiring eye,—"your particular intimacy—you have probably heard the whole story long ago."
"To have resisted such temptations, to have withstood such affection! Is there a man alive who could have done that? Yes, I found myself gradually and genuinely caring for her; and the happiest moments of my life were those I spent with her when I felt my intentions were completely honorable and my feelings pure. Even then, however, when I was fully committed to approaching her, I improperly kept pushing the moment off, day by day, because I didn’t want to enter into a commitment while my situation was so complicated. I won’t reason here—nor will I let you dwell on the foolishness, and the even greater foolishness, of hesitating to commit myself where my honor was already engaged. The outcome showed that I was a clever fool, carefully arranging for a possible opportunity to make myself useless and miserable forever. Eventually, though, I made my decision and determined that as soon as I could get her alone, I would justify the attention I had consistently shown her and openly assure her of my affection that I had already taken such pains to[288] display. But in the meantime—in the brief hours that would pass before I could speak with her privately—something happened—an unfortunate event—that ruined all my resolve and took away my comfort. A discovery was made,"—here he paused and looked down. "Somehow Mrs. Smith had been informed, I imagine by some distant relative, whose motive was to take away my favor with her, about an affair, a relationship—but I don’t need to explain further," he added, glancing at her with a flushed face and a questioning look,—"your close connection—you’ve probably heard the whole story a long time ago."
"I have," returned Elinor, colouring likewise, and hardening her heart anew against any compassion for him, "I have heard it all. And how you will explain away any part of your guilt in that dreadful business, I confess is beyond my comprehension."
"I have," Elinor replied, blushing too and steeling herself against any sympathy for him, "I have heard everything. And how you’ll justify any part of your blame in that terrible situation, I honestly can’t understand."
"Remember," cried Willoughby, "from whom you received the account. Could it be an impartial one? I acknowledge that her situation and her character ought to have been respected by me. I do not mean to justify myself, but at the same time cannot leave you to suppose that I have nothing to urge—that because she was injured she was irreproachable, and because I was a libertine, she must be a saint. If the violence of her passions, the weakness of her understanding—I do not mean, however, to defend myself. Her affection for me deserved better treatment, and I often, with great self-reproach, recall the tenderness which, for a very short time, had the power of creating any return. I wish—I heartily wish it had never been. But I have injured more than herself; and I have injured one, whose affection for me—(may I say it?) was scarcely less warm than hers; and whose mind—Oh! how infinitely superior!"
"Remember," shouted Willoughby, "who you got your information from. Could it really be unbiased? I admit that I should have respected her situation and character. I'm not trying to excuse myself, but I also can't let you think that I have nothing to say—that just because she was hurt, she was blameless, and just because I was a libertine, she must be a saint. If we consider the intensity of her emotions and the flaws in her reasoning—I don't mean to defend myself, though. Her love for me deserved better treatment, and I often think back with a lot of regret about the brief time when I could feel anything in return. I wish—I really wish it had never happened. But I've hurt more than just her; I've also hurt someone whose love for me—can I say it?—was almost as deep as hers, and whose mind—oh! how far superior!"
"Your indifference, however, towards that unfortunate girl—I must say it, unpleasant to me as the discussion of such a subject may well be—your indifference is no apology for your cruel neglect of her. Do not think yourself excused by any weakness, any natural defect of understanding on her side, in the wanton cruelty so evident on yours. You must have known, that while you were enjoying yourself in Devonshire pursuing fresh schemes, always gay, always happy, she was reduced to the extremest indigence."
"Your indifference toward that unfortunate girl—I'll say it, as uncomfortable as discussing this may be—your indifference is no excuse for your cruel neglect of her. Don't think you're off the hook because of any weakness or misunderstanding on her part; the blatant cruelty on your part is inexcusable. You must have known that while you were having fun in Devonshire, always chasing new schemes, always cheerful and happy, she was struggling in the direst poverty."
"But, upon my soul, I did not know it," he warmly replied; "I[289] did not recollect that I had omitted to give her my direction; and common sense might have told her how to find it out."
"But, honestly, I did not know it," he replied warmly; "I[289] didn’t remember that I forgot to give her my address; and common sense should have helped her figure it out."
"Well, sir, and what said Mrs. Smith?"
"Well, sir, what did Mrs. Smith say?"
"She taxed me with the offence at once, and my confusion may be guessed. The purity of her life, the formality of her notions, her ignorance of the world,—every thing was against me. The matter itself I could not deny, and vain was every endeavour to soften it. She was previously disposed, I believe, to doubt the morality of my conduct in general, and was moreover discontented with the very little attention, the very little portion of my time that I had bestowed on her, in my present visit. In short, it ended in a total breach. By one measure I might have saved myself. In the height of her morality, good woman! she offered to forgive the past, if I would marry Eliza. That could not be; and I was formally dismissed from her favour and her house. The night following this affair—I was to go the next morning—was spent by me in deliberating on what my future conduct should be. The struggle was great, but it ended too soon. My affection for Marianne, my thorough conviction of her attachment to me—it was all insufficient to outweigh that dread of poverty, or get the better of those false ideas of the necessity of riches, which I was naturally inclined to feel, and expensive society had increased. I had reason to believe myself secure of my present wife, if I chose to address her, and I persuaded myself to think that nothing else in common prudence remained for me to do. A heavy scene however awaited me, before I could leave Devonshire: I was engaged to dine with you on that very day; some apology was therefore necessary for my breaking this engagement. But whether I should write this apology, or deliver it in person, was a point of long debate. To see Marianne, I felt, would be dreadful, and I even doubted whether I could see her again, and keep to my resolution. In that point, however, I undervalued my own magnanimity, as the event declared; for I went, I saw her, and saw her miserable, and left her miserable;—and left her hoping never to see her again."
"She immediately accused me of the offense, and my confusion was obvious. The purity of her life, her strict views, and her lack of worldly experience—all of it was against me. I couldn’t deny the facts, and all my attempts to soften the situation were futile. I believe she was already inclined to doubt my moral character and was also unhappy with the very little attention and time I had given her during this visit. In short, it led to a complete fallout. There was one thing I could have done to save myself. In her moral high ground, the good woman offered to forgive the past if I would marry Eliza. That wasn’t an option for me, and I was officially dismissed from her favor and her home. The night after this incident—I was set to leave the next morning—was spent pondering what my future actions should be. The struggle was intense, but it was resolved too quickly. My love for Marianne and my strong belief in her love for me weren’t enough to outweigh my fear of poverty or to overcome those misguided beliefs about needing wealth, which I naturally felt, and which the expensive society had only intensified. I had every reason to think I could have my current wife if I decided to pursue her, and I convinced myself that nothing else made sense for me to do. However, a difficult situation awaited me before I could leave Devonshire: I was supposed to have dinner with you that very day, so some excuse was necessary to break that engagement. But whether to write the excuse or deliver it in person was a matter I debated for a long time. I felt seeing Marianne would be awful, and I even questioned whether I could face her again and stick to my decision. In that regard, though, I underestimated my own strength, as events unfolded; I went, saw her, witnessed her misery, and left her in that state—leaving her hoping to never see me again."
"Why did you call, Mr. Willoughby?" said Elinor, reproachfully; "a note would have answered every purpose. Why was it necessary to call?"
"Why did you call, Mr. Willoughby?" Elinor asked, with a hint of reproach. "A note would have been sufficient. Why was it necessary to come in person?"
[Missing Illustration: "I was formally dismissed."]
[Missing Illustration: "I was officially fired."]
"It was necessary to my own pride. I could not bear to leave the country in a manner that might lead you, or the rest of the neighbourhood, to suspect any part of what had really passed between Mrs. Smith and myself, and I resolved therefore on calling at the cottage, in my way to Honiton. The sight of your dear sister, however, was really dreadful; and, to heighten the matter, I found her alone. You were all gone I do not know where. I had left her only the evening before, so fully, so firmly resolved within my self on doing right! A few hours were to have engaged her to me for ever; and I remember how happy, how gay were my spirits, as I walked from the cottage to Allenham, satisfied with myself, delighted with every body! But in this, our last interview of friendship, I approached her with a sense of guilt that almost took from me the power of dissembling. Her sorrow, her disappointment, her deep regret, when I told her that I was obliged to leave Devonshire so immediately—I never shall forget it—united too with such reliance, such confidence in me! Oh, God! what a hard-hearted rascal I was!"
"It was important for my own pride. I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the country in a way that might make you or the rest of the neighborhood suspect anything about what really happened between Mrs. Smith and me, so I decided to stop by the cottage on my way to Honiton. However, seeing your dear sister was truly awful; and to make things worse, I found her alone. You were all gone, and I didn’t know where. I had just left her the evening before, so fully, so firmly resolved to do the right thing! A few hours were supposed to have committed her to me forever; and I remember how happy and lighthearted I felt as I walked from the cottage to Allenham, satisfied with myself and pleased with everyone! But in this, our last meeting as friends, I approached her with a sense of guilt that almost took away my ability to pretend. Her sorrow, her disappointment, her deep regret when I told her I had to leave Devonshire so suddenly—I will never forget it—combined with such trust, such confidence in me! Oh, God! What a heartless jerk I was!"
They were both silent for a few moments. Elinor first spoke.
They both stayed quiet for a few moments. Elinor was the first to speak.
"Did you tell her that you should soon return?"
"Did you let her know that you'll be back soon?"
"I do not know what I told her," he replied, impatiently; "less than was due to the past, beyond a doubt, and in all likelihood much more than was justified by the future. I cannot think of it. It won't do. Then came your dear mother to torture me farther, with all her kindness and confidence. Thank Heaven! it did torture me. I was miserable. Miss Dashwood, you cannot have an idea of the comfort it gives me to look back on my own misery. I owe such a grudge to myself for the stupid, rascally folly of my own heart, that all my past sufferings under it are only triumph and exultation to me now. Well, I went, left all that I loved, and went to those to whom, at best, I was only indifferent. My journey to town—travelling with my own horses, and therefore so tediously—no creature to speak to—my own reflections so cheerful—when I looked forward every thing so inviting!—when I looked back at Barton, the picture so soothing!—oh, it was a blessed journey!"
"I don't know what I told her," he said, impatiently. "It was definitely less than what the past deserved, and probably way more than what the future warranted. I can't think about it. It's no good. Then your dear mother came to torment me further with her kindness and trust. Thank goodness! It really did torture me. I was miserable. Miss Dashwood, you can't imagine the comfort I feel looking back on my own misery. I hold such a grudge against myself for the stupid, reckless folly of my own heart that all my past suffering because of it now feels like victory and joy to me. Well, I left everything I loved and went to people who, at best, were indifferent to me. My trip to town—traveling with my own horses, which made it so slow—no one to talk to—my own thoughts so cheerful—everything looked so inviting when I looked ahead!—and when I looked back at Barton, the view was so comforting!—oh, it was a wonderful journey!"
He stopped.
He paused.
"Well, sir," said Elinor, who, though pitying him, grew impatient for his departure, "and this is all?"[292]
"Well, sir," said Elinor, who, although she felt sorry for him, was becoming impatient for him to leave, "is this it?"[292]
"Ah!—no,—have you forgot what passed in town? That infamous letter? Did she show it you?"
"Ah! No, have you forgotten what happened in town? That scandalous letter? Did she show it to you?"
"Yes, I saw every note that passed."
"Yes, I saw every note that was exchanged."
"When the first of hers reached me (as it immediately did, for I was in town the whole time,) what I felt is, in the common phrase, not to be expressed; in a more simple one—perhaps too simple to raise any emotion, my feelings were very, very painful. Every line, every word was—in the hackneyed metaphor which their dear writer, were she here, would forbid—a dagger to my heart. To know that Marianne was in town was, in the same language, a thunderbolt. Thunderbolts and daggers! what a reproof would she have given me! her taste, her opinions—I believe they are better known to me than my own, and I am sure they are dearer."
"When the first letter from her reached me (which it did right away, since I was in town the entire time), what I felt is, in common terms, hard to express; to simplify it—perhaps too simply to evoke any emotion—my feelings were incredibly painful. Every line, every word was—in the tired metaphor that their beloved writer would disapprove of if she were here—a dagger to my heart. Knowing that Marianne was in town was, using the same language, a thunderbolt. Thunderbolts and daggers! What a scolding she would have given me! Her taste, her opinions—I think I know them better than my own, and I’m sure I cherish them even more."
Elinor's heart, which had undergone many changes in the course of this extraordinary conversation, was now softened again;—yet she felt it her duty to check such ideas in her companion as the last.
Elinor's heart, which had gone through many changes during this extraordinary conversation, was now softened again; yet she felt it was her duty to rein in such thoughts in her companion as the last.
"This is not right, Mr. Willoughby. Remember that you are married. Relate only what in your conscience you think necessary for me to hear."
"This isn't right, Mr. Willoughby. Don't forget that you're married. Share only what you believe I need to know."
"Marianne's note, by assuring me that I was still as dear to her as in former days, that in spite of the many, many weeks we had been separated, she was as constant in her own feelings, and as full of faith in the constancy of mine as ever, awakened all my remorse. I say awakened, because time and London, business and dissipation, had in some measure quieted it, and I had been growing a fine hardened villain, fancying myself indifferent to her, and choosing to fancy that she too must have become indifferent to me; talking to myself of our past attachment as a mere idle, trifling business, shrugging up my shoulders in proof of its being so, and silencing every reproach, overcoming every scruple, by secretly saying now and then, 'I shall be heartily glad to hear she is well married.' But this note made me know myself better. I felt that she was infinitely dearer to me than any other woman in the world, and that I was using her infamously. But every thing was then just settled between Miss Grey and me. To retreat was impossible. All that I had to do, was to avoid you both. I sent no answer to Marianne, intending by that to preserve myself from her farther notice; and for some time [293]I was even determined not to call in Berkeley Street; but at last, judging it wiser to affect the air of a cool, common acquaintance than anything else, I watched you all safely out of the house one morning, and left my name."
"Marianne's note reminded me that I still meant as much to her as I did in the past. Despite the many weeks we had been apart, she remained steadfast in her feelings and fully trusted that my feelings were unchanged as well, which brought all my guilt back. I say 'brought back' because time and London, along with work and distractions, had somewhat dulled it, and I had started to grow into a real cold-hearted villain, convincing myself that I didn’t care about her and choosing to believe that she must have become indifferent to me too. I used to think of our past relationship as something trivial, shrugging it off as proof that it didn’t matter, silencing every pang of guilt, and telling myself now and then, 'I’ll be truly happy to hear that she’s well married.' But this note made me realize more about myself. I felt that she was so much more important to me than any other woman in the world, and that I was treating her terribly. But everything was already settled between Miss Grey and me. It was impossible to back out now. All I could do was stay away from both of you. I didn’t reply to Marianne, intending to keep myself out of her sight; and for a while [293] I was even set on not visiting Berkeley Street. But eventually, I thought it would be smarter to act like a casual acquaintance, so one morning I watched you both leave the house and left my name."
"Watched us out of the house!"
"Watch us from outside the house!"
"Even so. You would be surprised to hear how often I watched you, how often I was on the point of falling in with you. I have entered many a shop to avoid your sight, as the carriage drove by. Lodging as I did in Bond Street, there was hardly a day in which I did not catch a glimpse of one or other of you; and nothing but the most constant watchfulness on my side, a most invariably prevailing desire to keep out of your sight, could have separated us so long. I avoided the Middletons as much as possible, as well as everybody else who was likely to prove an acquaintance in common. Not aware of their being in town, however, I blundered on Sir John, I believe, the first day of his coming, and the day after I had called at Mrs. Jennings's. He asked me to a party, a dance at his house in the evening. Had he not told me as an inducement that you and your sister were to be there, I should have felt it too certain a thing, to trust myself near him. The next morning brought another short note from Marianne—still affectionate, open, artless, confiding—everything that could make my conduct most hateful. I could not answer it. I tried—but could not frame a sentence. But I thought of her, I believe, every moment of the day. If you can pity me, Miss Dashwood, pity my situation as it was then. With my head and heart full of your sister, I was forced to play the happy lover to another woman! Those three or four weeks were worse than all. Well, at last, as I need not tell you, you were forced on me; and what a sweet figure I cut! what an evening of agony it was! Marianne, beautiful as an angel on one side, calling me Willoughby in such a tone! Oh, God! holding out her hand to me, asking me for an explanation, with those bewitching eyes fixed in such speaking solicitude on my face! and Sophia, jealous as the devil on the other hand, looking all that was—Well, it does not signify; it is over now. Such an evening! I ran away from you all as soon as I could; but not before I had seen Marianne's sweet face as white as death. That was the last, last look I ever had of her; the last manner in which she appeared to me. It was a horrid sight! yet when I thought of her to-day as really dying, it was a kind of comfort to me to imagine that I knew exactly how she would appear to those, who saw her last in this world. She was before me, constantly before me, as I travelled, in the same look and hue."
"Even so, you’d be surprised to hear how often I watched you, how close I was to joining you. I often ducked into stores to avoid being seen as your carriage passed by. Since I was living on Bond Street, there was hardly a day when I didn’t catch a glimpse of one of you; only my constant vigilance and unshakeable desire to stay out of your sight kept us apart for so long. I avoided the Middletons as much as I could, as well as anyone else who could be a mutual acquaintance. However, not knowing they were in town, I accidentally ran into Sir John, I believe, on the first day of his arrival, and the day after I visited Mrs. Jennings. He invited me to a gathering, a dance at his house that evening. Had he not mentioned that you and your sister would be there as a lure, I would have felt it was too risky to be near him. The next morning brought another brief note from Marianne—still affectionate, open, genuine, trusting—everything that made my actions feel utterly despicable. I couldn’t bring myself to respond. I tried but couldn’t form a sentence. Still, I thought of her every moment of the day. If you can feel sorry for me, Miss Dashwood, please pity my situation back then. With my head and heart filled with thoughts of your sister, I had to pretend to be the happy lover to another woman! Those three or four weeks were the worst of all. Well, eventually, as you know, you were thrust upon me; and what a ridiculous scene it was! What a night of torment! Marianne, as beautiful as an angel on one side, calling me Willoughby in such a tone! Oh, God! Reaching out her hand to me, asking for an explanation, with those captivating eyes fixed on my face in such pleading concern! And Sophia, jealousy burning in her, looking furious on the other side. Well, it doesn’t matter now; it’s all over. What a night! I escaped from you all as soon as I could; but not before I saw Marianne’s sweet face, as pale as death. That was the last, last look I ever had of her, the last way she appeared to me. It was a terrible sight! Yet when I thought of her today, truly dying, it gave me some comfort to imagine that I knew exactly how she would look to those who saw her last in this world. She was constantly in my mind as I traveled, in the same expression and color."
A short pause of mutual thoughtfulness succeeded. Willoughby first rousing himself, broke it thus:
A brief moment of shared contemplation followed. Willoughby, regaining his focus, broke the silence like this:
"Well, let me make haste and be gone. Your sister is certainly better, certainly out of danger?"
"Alright, I’ll hurry and leave. Your sister is definitely doing better, right? She's out of danger?"
"We are assured of it."
"We're sure of it."
"Your poor mother, too!—doting on Marianne."
"Your poor mom, too!—indulging Marianne."
"But the letter, Mr. Willoughby, your own letter; have you any thing to say about that?"
"But the letter, Mr. Willoughby, your own letter; do you have anything to say about that?"
"Yes, yes, that in particular. Your sister wrote to me again, you know, the very next morning. You saw what she said. I was breakfasting at the Ellisons,—and her letter, with some others, was brought to me there from my lodgings. It happened to catch Sophia's eye before it caught mine;—and its size, the elegance of the paper, the hand-writing altogether, immediately gave her a suspicion. Some vague report had reached her before of my attachment to some young lady in Devonshire, and what had passed within her observation the preceding evening had marked who the young lady was, and made her more jealous than ever. Affecting that air of playfulness, therefore, which is delightful in a woman one loves, she opened the letter directly, and read its contents. She was well paid for her impudence. She read what made her wretched. Her wretchedness I could have borne, but her passion—her malice—at all events it must be appeased. And, in short, what do you think of my wife's style of letter-writing?—delicate—tender—truly feminine—was it not?"
"Yes, yes, that in particular. Your sister wrote to me again, you know, the very next morning. You saw what she said. I was having breakfast at the Ellisons, and her letter, along with some others, was brought to me there from my place. It happened to catch Sophia's eye before it caught mine; and its size, the elegance of the paper, and the handwriting all immediately raised her suspicions. She had heard some vague rumors before about my feelings for a young lady in Devonshire, and what she had witnessed the night before made her certain about who that young lady was, filling her with even more jealousy. So, trying to act playful, which is delightful in a woman I love, she opened the letter and read its contents. She got what she deserved for her boldness. She read something that made her miserable. I could have dealt with her misery, but her anger—her malice—it had to be calmed down. So, what do you think of my wife's letter-writing style? Delicate—tender—truly feminine—right?"
"Your wife! The letter was in your own hand-writing."
"Your wife! The letter was written in your own handwriting."
"Yes, but I had only the credit of servilely copying such sentences as I was ashamed to put my name to. The original was all her own—her own happy thoughts and gentle diction. But what could I do! we were engaged, every thing in preparation, the day almost fixed—but I am talking like a fool. Preparation! Day! In honest words, her money was necessary to me, and in a situation like mine, any thing was to be done to prevent a rupture. And after all, what did it signify to my character in the opinion of Marianne and[296] her friends, in what language my answer was couched? It must have been only to one end. My business was to declare myself a scoundrel, and whether I did it with a bow or a bluster was of little importance. 'I am ruined for ever in their opinion,' said I to myself; 'I am shut out for ever from their society, they already think me an unprincipled fellow, this letter will only make them think me a blackguard one.' Such were my reasonings, as, in a sort of desperate carelessness, I copied my wife's words, and parted with the last relics of Marianne. Her three notes—unluckily they were all in my pocket-book, or I should have denied their existence, and hoarded them for ever—I was forced to put them up, and could not even kiss them. And the lock of hair—that too I had always carried about me in the same pocket-book, which was now searched by Madam with the most ingratiating virulence,—the dear lock—all, every memento was torn from me."
"Yes, but I only had the shame of copying sentences I was embarrassed to put my name on. The original was all her own—her own happy thoughts and gentle words. But what could I do? We were engaged, everything was in preparation, the day was almost set—but I’m talking like an idiot. Preparation! Day! Honestly, her money was essential to me, and in my situation, I would do anything to avoid a breakup. And after all, what did it matter to my reputation in the eyes of Marianne and her friends how I phrased my response? It was all going to end the same way. My task was to declare myself a scoundrel, and whether I did it politely or aggressively didn’t matter much. 'I’m ruined forever in their eyes,' I told myself; 'I’m shut out of their circle for good, they already see me as dishonest, this letter will just confirm that I’m a total jerk.' That was my reasoning as, in a state of desperate indifference, I copied my wife’s words and parted with the last remnants of Marianne. Her three notes—unfortunately, they were all in my wallet, or I would have denied they existed and kept them forever—I had to tuck them away and couldn’t even kiss them goodbye. And the lock of hair—I had always carried that in the same wallet, which Madam now searched with the most ingratiating viciousness—the dear lock—all, every token was ripped from me."
"You are very wrong, Mr. Willoughby, very blamable," said Elinor, while her voice, in spite of herself, betrayed her compassionate emotion; "you ought not to speak in this way, either of Mrs. Willoughby or my sister. You had made your own choice. It was not forced on you. Your wife has a claim to your politeness, to your respect, at least. She must be attached to you, or she would not have married you. To treat her with unkindness, to speak of her slightingly is no atonement to Marianne—nor can I suppose it a relief to your own conscience."
"You’re very wrong, Mr. Willoughby, and you have a lot to answer for," Elinor said, her voice unintentionally revealing her compassion. "You shouldn’t talk about Mrs. Willoughby or my sister like this. You made your own choice; it wasn’t forced upon you. Your wife deserves your politeness and respect, at the very least. She must care for you, or she wouldn’t have married you. Treating her unkindly and speaking about her disrespectfully won’t make things better for Marianne—and I can’t imagine it would help your conscience either."
"Do not talk to me of my wife," said he with a heavy sigh. "She does not deserve your compassion. She knew I had no regard for her when we married. Well, married we were, and came down to Combe Magna to be happy, and afterwards returned to town to be gay. And now do you pity me, Miss Dashwood? or have I said all this to no purpose? Am I,—be it only one degree,—am I less guilty in your opinion than I was before? My intentions were not always wrong. Have I explained away any part of my guilt?"
"Don’t talk to me about my wife," he said with a heavy sigh. "She doesn’t deserve your pity. She knew I didn’t care for her when we got married. Well, we got married and came to Combe Magna to be happy, and then went back to the city to have fun. So, do you feel sorry for me now, Miss Dashwood? Or have I just wasted my breath? Am I— even if it’s just a little—am I less guilty in your eyes than I was before? My intentions weren’t always bad. Have I managed to justify any part of my guilt?"
"Yes, you have certainly removed something—a little. You have proved yourself, on the whole, less faulty than I had believed you. You have proved your heart less wicked, much less wicked. But I hardly know—the misery that you have inflicted—I hardly know what could have made it worse."
"Yes, you've definitely taken something away—a bit. You've shown that you're actually less flawed than I thought. You've shown that your heart is less evil, much less evil. But I can barely comprehend—the pain you've caused—I can hardly imagine what could have made it worse."
"Will you repeat to your sister when she is recovered, what I have been[297] telling you?—Let me be a little lightened too in her opinion as well as in yours. You tell me that she has forgiven me already. Let me be able to fancy that a better knowledge of my heart, and of my present feelings, will draw from her a more spontaneous, more natural, more gentle, less dignified, forgiveness. Tell her of my misery and my penitence—tell her that my heart was never inconstant to her, and if you will, that at this moment she is dearer to me than ever."
"Will you tell your sister, once she’s better, what I’ve been[297] sharing with you?—I’d like her to think a bit more lightly of me, just like you do. You said she has already forgiven me. I hope that if she understands my heart and how I feel now, it will lead her to give me a more heartfelt, natural, gentle, and less formal forgiveness. Let her know about my pain and regret—tell her my heart was never untrue to her, and if you can, let her know that right now she means more to me than ever."
"I will tell her all that is necessary to what may comparatively be called, your justification. But you have not explained to me the particular reason of your coming now, nor how you heard of her illness."
"I will tell her everything needed for what could be considered your justification. But you haven’t explained to me why you’ve come now or how you found out about her illness."
"Last night, in Drury Lane lobby, I ran against Sir John Middleton, and when he saw who I was, for the first time these two months—he spoke to me. That he had cut me ever since my marriage, I had seen without surprise or resentment. Now, however, his good-natured, honest, stupid soul, full of indignation against me, and concern for your sister, could not resist the temptation of telling me what he knew ought to, though probably he did not think it would, vex me horridly. As bluntly as he could speak it, therefore, he told me that Marianne Dashwood was dying of a putrid fever at Cleveland—a letter that morning received from Mrs. Jennings declared her danger most imminent—the Palmers are all gone off in a fright, &c. I was too much shocked to be able to pass myself off as insensible even to the undiscerning Sir John. His heart was softened in seeing mine suffer; and so much of his ill-will was done away, that when we parted, he almost shook me by the hand while he reminded me of an old promise about a pointer puppy. What I felt on hearing that your sister was dying, and dying too, believing me the greatest villain upon earth, scorning, hating me in her latest moments—for how could I tell what horrid projects might not have been imputed? One person I was sure would represent me as capable of any thing. What I felt was dreadful! My resolution was soon made, and at eight o'clock this morning I was in my carriage. Now you know all."
"Last night, in the Drury Lane lobby, I bumped into Sir John Middleton, and for the first time in two months, he actually spoke to me when he realized who I was. I had noticed he had been avoiding me since my marriage, but it didn’t surprise or upset me. However, his good-hearted, straightforward, and somewhat clueless nature, filled with anger towards me and concern for your sister, couldn’t resist the urge to share what he knew, even though he probably didn't think it would upset me terribly. So, as bluntly as he could manage, he told me that Marianne Dashwood was dying from a severe fever in Cleveland—a letter received that morning from Mrs. Jennings stated her condition was critical—the Palmers had all left in a panic, and so on. I was too shocked to pretend I was unaffected, even to the oblivious Sir John. He softened when he saw my pain, and all his resentment faded to the point that when we parted, he nearly shook my hand while reminding me of an old promise I made about a pointer puppy. Hearing that your sister was dying—and dying while believing me to be the worst villain imaginable, hating and scornfully thinking of me in her last moments—was unbearable. How could I know what terrible things might have been said about me? I was certain at least one person would paint me as capable of anything. What I felt was horrific! I quickly made my decision, and by eight o'clock this morning, I was in my carriage. Now you know everything."
Elinor made no answer. Her thoughts were silently fixed on the irreparable injury which too early an independence and its consequent habits of idleness, dissipation, and luxury, had made in the mind, the character, the happiness, of a man who, to every advantage[298] of person and talents, united a disposition naturally open and honest, and a feeling, affectionate temper. The world had made him extravagant and vain—Extravagance and vanity had made him cold-hearted and selfish. Vanity, while seeking its own guilty triumph at the expense of another, had involved him in a real attachment, which extravagance, or at least its offspring, necessity, had required to be sacrificed. Each faulty propensity in leading him to evil, had led him likewise to punishment. The attachment, from which against honour, against feeling, against every better interest he had outwardly torn himself, now, when no longer allowable, governed every thought; and the connection, for the sake of which he had, with little scruple, left her sister to misery, was likely to prove a source of unhappiness to himself of a far more incurable nature. From a reverie of this kind she was recalled at the end of some minutes by Willoughby, who, rousing himself from a reverie at least equally painful, started up in preparation for going, and said—
Elinor didn't respond. Her mind was silently focused on the irreversible damage that too much independence and its resulting habits of idleness, indulgence, and luxury had caused to the mind, character, and happiness of a man who, despite every advantage in looks and talent, possessed a naturally open and honest disposition, along with a warm, affectionate nature. The world had turned him extravagant and vain—extravagance and vanity had turned him cold-hearted and selfish. In the pursuit of its own guilty triumph at another's expense, vanity had entangled him in a genuine attachment, which extravagance, or at least its child, necessity, had demanded he sacrifice. Each flawed trait that led him to wrongdoing had also led him to punishment. The attachment from which he had outwardly torn himself, against honor, against feeling, and against every better interest, now governed every thought; and the connection for which he had, with little hesitation, left her sister in misery was likely to become a source of far more serious unhappiness for himself. After several minutes of this sort of daydreaming, she was brought back to reality by Willoughby, who, emerging from a daydream that was just as painful, jumped up to get ready to leave and said—
"There is no use in staying here; I must be off."
"There’s no point in staying here; I need to leave."
"Are you going back to town?"
"Are you heading back to town?"
"No—to Combe Magna. I have business there; from thence to town in a day or two. Good bye."
"No—I'm heading to Combe Magna. I have some business there; I'll be in town in a day or two. Goodbye."
He held out his hand. She could not refuse to give him hers;—he pressed it with affection.
He extended his hand. She couldn’t refuse to give him hers; he held it with warmth.
"And you do think something better of me than you did?"—said he, letting it fall, and leaning against the mantelpiece as if forgetting he was to go.
"And you really think something better of me than you did?" he said, dropping it and leaning against the mantelpiece as if he forgot he was supposed to leave.
Elinor assured him that she did;—that she forgave, pitied, wished him well—was even interested in his happiness—and added some gentle counsel as to the behaviour most likely to promote it. His answer was not very encouraging.
Elinor assured him that she did;—that she forgave him, felt compassion for him, wished him well—was even interested in his happiness—and shared some kind advice on how he could achieve it. His response wasn't very encouraging.
"As to that," said he, "I must rub through the world as well as I can. Domestic happiness is out of the question. If, however, I am allowed to think that you and yours feel an interest in my fate and actions, it may be the means—it may put me on my guard—at least, it may be something to live for. Marianne to be sure is lost to me for ever. Were I even by any blessed chance at liberty again—"
"As for that," he said, "I have to get through life as best as I can. Domestic happiness is completely out of reach. However, if I’m allowed to believe that you and your family care about what happens to me, it might help—it might keep me alert—at least, it could give me something to live for. Marianne is certainly lost to me forever. Even if, by some miracle, I were free again—"
Elinor stopped him with a reproof.
Elinor stopped him with a sharp comment.
"Well,"—he replied—"once more good bye. I shall now go away and live in dread of one event."[299]
"Well," he replied, "once again, goodbye. I'm going to leave now and live in fear of one thing."[299]
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your sister's marriage."
"Your sister's wedding."
"You are very wrong. She can never be more lost to you than she is now."
"You’re completely mistaken. She can’t be more lost to you than she is right now."
"But she will be gained by some one else. And if that some one should be the very he whom, of all others, I could least bear—but I will not stay to rob myself of all your compassionate good-will, by showing that where I have most injured I can least forgive. Good bye,—God bless you!"
"But she will end up with someone else. And if that someone is the very person I can’t stand the most—but I won’t linger to take away all your kindness by showing that where I’ve been hurt the most, I can’t forgive. Goodbye—God bless you!"
And with these words, he almost ran out of the room.
And with those words, he practically dashed out of the room.
CHAPTER XLV
Elinor, for some time after he left her, for some time even after the sound of his carriage had died away, remained too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas, widely differing in themselves, but of which sadness was the general result, to think even of her sister.
Elinor, for a while after he left her, and even after the sound of his carriage had faded away, felt too overwhelmed by a mix of thoughts, all leading to a sense of sadness, to consider her sister at all.
Willoughby, he, whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred as the most worthless of men, Willoughby, in spite of all his faults, excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by them, which made her think of him as now separated for ever from her family, with a tenderness, a regret, rather in proportion, as she soon acknowledged within herself—to his wishes than to his merits. She felt that his influence over her mind was heightened by circumstances which ought not in reason to have weight; by that person of uncommon attraction, that open, affectionate, and lively manner which it was no merit to possess; and by that still ardent love for Marianne, which it was not even innocent to indulge. But she felt that it was so, long, long before she could feel his influence less.
Willoughby, the man she had only half an hour ago despised as the most worthless of people, stirred a sense of sympathy in her for the pain caused by his flaws. This thought made her view him as forever separated from her family, with a tenderness and regret that, as she would later admit to herself, were more linked to his desires than to any qualities he actually possessed. She realized that his hold on her thoughts was intensified by factors that shouldn’t have mattered; by his remarkable presence, his open, warm, and lively way of being, which was no achievement in itself; and by his still passionate love for Marianne, which wasn’t even right to indulge. But she was aware of this for a long time before she could lessen his influence on her.
When at last she returned to the unconscious Marianne, she found her just awaking, refreshed by so long and sweet a sleep to the extent of her hopes. Elinor's heart was full. The past, the present, the future, Willoughby's visit, Marianne's safety, and her mother's expected arrival, threw her altogether into an agitation of spirits which kept off every indication of[300] fatigue, and made her only fearful of betraying herself to her sister. Short was the time, however, in which that fear could affect her, for within half an hour after Willoughby's leaving the house, she was again called down stairs by the sound of another carriage. Eager to save her mother from every unnecessary moment's horrible suspense, she ran immediately into the hall, and reached the outward door just in time to receive and support her as she entered it.
When she finally returned to the unconscious Marianne, she found her just waking up, refreshed from such a long and sweet sleep that it met her hopes. Elinor's heart was full. The past, the present, the future, Willoughby's visit, Marianne's safety, and her mother's expected arrival all flooded her with emotions that kept her from showing any signs of[300] fatigue, leaving her only worried about revealing her feelings to her sister. However, that fear couldn't last long, because within half an hour after Willoughy left the house, she heard another carriage arriving. Eager to spare her mother any unnecessary moments of dreadful suspense, she quickly ran into the hall and reached the door just in time to greet and support her as she walked in.
Mrs. Dashwood, whose terror as they drew near the house had produced almost the conviction of Marianne's being no more, had no voice to inquire after her, no voice even for Elinor; but she, waiting neither for salutation nor inquiry, instantly gave the joyful relief; and her mother, catching it with all her usual warmth, was in a moment as much overcome by her happiness, as she had been before by her fears. She was supported into the drawing-room between her daughter and her friend; and there, shedding tears of joy, though still unable to speak, embraced Elinor again and again, turning from her at intervals to press Colonel Brandon's hand, with a look which spoke at once her gratitude, and her conviction of his sharing with herself in the bliss of the moment. He shared it, however, in a silence even greater than her own.
Mrs. Dashwood, whose fear as they approached the house had almost convinced her that Marianne was gone, could not find the strength to ask about her or even to speak to Elinor. But she, not waiting for a greeting or a question, quickly provided the joyful news; and her mother, embracing it with all her usual warmth, was instantly as overwhelmed with happiness as she had been earlier with fear. She was supported into the living room by her daughter and her friend; and there, shedding tears of joy but still unable to speak, she hugged Elinor over and over, occasionally turning away to grasp Colonel Brandon's hand, with a look that expressed both her gratitude and her awareness that he shared in the joy of the moment. He experienced it, however, in a silence even deeper than hers.
As soon as Mrs. Dashwood had recovered herself, to see Marianne was her first desire; and in two minutes she was with her beloved child, rendered dearer to her than ever by absence, unhappiness, and danger. Elinor's delight, as she saw what each felt in the meeting, was only checked by an apprehension of its robbing Marianne of farther sleep;—but Mrs. Dashwood could be calm, could be even prudent, when the life of a child was at stake, and Marianne, satisfied in knowing her mother was near her, and conscious of being too weak for conversation, submitted readily to the silence and quiet prescribed by every nurse around her. Mrs. Dashwood would sit up with her all night; and Elinor, in compliance with her mother's entreaty, went to bed. But the rest, which one night entirely sleepless, and many hours of the most wearing anxiety seemed to make requisite, was kept off by irritation of spirits. Willoughby, "poor Willoughby," as she now allowed herself to call him, was constantly in her thoughts; she would not but have heard his vindication for the world, and now blamed, now acquitted herself for having judged him so harshly[301] before. But her promise of relating it to her sister was invariably painful. She dreaded the performance of it, dreaded what its effect on Marianne might be; doubted whether after such an explanation she could ever be happy with another; and for a moment wished Willoughby a widower. Then, remembering Colonel Brandon, reproved herself, felt that to his sufferings and his constancy far more than to his rival's, the reward of her sister was due, and wished any thing rather than Mrs. Willoughby's death.
As soon as Mrs. Dashwood composed herself, her first wish was to see Marianne; within two minutes, she was with her beloved child, who felt even more precious to her after being apart, feeling unhappy, and facing danger. Elinor's joy at witnessing their reunion was only disrupted by the worry that it might prevent Marianne from getting more rest—but Mrs. Dashwood could stay calm and even sensible when her child's life was at risk. Marianne, comforted by her mother’s presence and too weak for conversation, willingly accepted the silence and quiet enforced by the nurses around her. Mrs. Dashwood would stay up with her all night; and Elinor, following her mother's request, went to bed. But the rest she needed after a sleepless night filled with anxiety was overshadowed by her restless thoughts. Willoughby, “poor Willoughby,” as she now allowed herself to think of him, was constantly on her mind; she would have listened to his defense no matter what, and now she blamed and excused herself for having judged him so harshly before. The thought of telling her sister about it was always painful. She dreaded doing it, worried about how it might affect Marianne; she doubted whether she could ever be happy with anyone else after such an explanation and briefly wished Willoughby were a widower. Then, remembering Colonel Brandon, she scolded herself, realizing that her sister deserved her happiness far more because of his sufferings and his constancy than because of his rival, and she wished for anything rather than Mrs. Willoughby's death.
The shock of Colonel Brandon's errand at Barton had been much softened to Mrs. Dashwood by her own previous alarm; for so great was her uneasiness about Marianne, that she had already determined to set out for Cleveland on that very day, without waiting for any further intelligence, and had so far settled her journey before his arrival, that the Careys were then expected every moment to fetch Margaret away, as her mother was unwilling to take her where there might be infection.
The shock of Colonel Brandon's visit to Barton was lessened for Mrs. Dashwood because she was already so worried; her concern about Marianne had made her decide to leave for Cleveland that very day, without waiting for any more information. She had even arranged for her trip before he arrived, and the Careys were expected to come any moment to take Margaret away, since her mother didn't want to bring her to a place that might have an infection.
Marianne continued to mend every day, and the brilliant cheerfulness of Mrs. Dashwood's looks and spirits proved her to be, as she repeatedly declared herself, one of the happiest women in the world. Elinor could not hear the declaration, nor witness its proofs without sometimes wondering whether her mother ever recollected Edward. But Mrs. Dashwood, trusting to the temperate account of her own disappointment which Elinor had sent her, was led away by the exuberance of her joy to think only of what would increase it. Marianne was restored to her from a danger in which, as she now began to feel, her own mistaken judgment in encouraging the unfortunate attachment to Willoughby, had contributed to place her; and in her recovery she had yet another source of joy unthought of by Elinor. It was thus imparted to her, as soon as any opportunity of private conference between them occurred.
Marianne kept getting better every day, and Mrs. Dashwood's bright and happy demeanor showed that she was, as she often said, one of the happiest women in the world. Elinor couldn't hear her claim or see the evidence of it without sometimes wondering if her mother ever thought about Edward. But Mrs. Dashwood, relying on the calm account of her own disappointment that Elinor had shared, was swept up in her joy to focus only on what would make her even happier. Marianne had been brought back to her from a dangerous situation that, as she was starting to realize, her own poor judgment in encouraging the unfortunate attachment to Willoughby had contributed to. In her recovery, she had another source of joy that Elinor had not considered. This was shared with her as soon as they had a chance for a private talk.
"At last we are alone. My Elinor, you do not yet know all my happiness. Colonel Brandon loves Marianne. He has told me so himself."
"Finally, we’re alone. My Elinor, you don’t yet realize how happy I am. Colonel Brandon loves Marianne. He told me himself."
Her daughter, feeling by turns both pleased and pained, surprised and not surprised, was all silent attention.
Her daughter, feeling both happy and hurt, surprised and not surprised, was completely focused in silence.
"You are never like me, dear Elinor, or I should wonder at your composure now. Had I sat down to wish for any possible good to my family, I should have fixed on Colonel Brandon's marrying one of you as the object most desirable. And I believe[302] Marianne will be the most happy with him of the two."
"You are nothing like me, dear Elinor, or I would question your calmness now. If I had taken a moment to wish for anything good for my family, I would have imagined Colonel Brandon marrying one of you as the best possible outcome. And I believe[302] Marianne will be the happiest with him of the two."
Elinor was half inclined to ask her reason for thinking so, because satisfied that none founded on an impartial consideration of their age, characters, or feelings, could be given;—but her mother must always be carried away by her imagination on any interesting subject, and therefore instead of an inquiry, she passed it off with a smile.
Elinor was somewhat tempted to ask why she thought that, because she was sure that no reason based on an unbiased view of their age, personalities, or feelings could be provided;—but her mother always let her imagination take over on any intriguing topic, so instead of asking, she just smiled.
"He opened his whole heart to me yesterday as we travelled. It came out quite unawares, quite undesignedly. I, you may well believe, could talk of nothing but my child;—he could not conceal his distress; I saw that it equalled my own, and he perhaps, thinking that mere friendship, as the world now goes, would not justify so warm a sympathy—or rather, not thinking at all, I suppose—giving way to irresistible feelings, made me acquainted with his earnest, tender, constant, affection for Marianne. He has loved her, my Elinor, ever since the first moment of seeing her."
"He opened his heart to me yesterday while we were traveling. It all came out unexpectedly, completely unplanned. You can believe that I could only talk about my child; he couldn’t hide his distress; I saw that it matched my own, and perhaps he thought that just being friends, as people do these days, wouldn’t explain such strong sympathy—or more likely, he wasn’t thinking at all. Giving in to irresistible feelings, he revealed his deep, tender, and constant love for Marianne. He has loved her, my Elinor, ever since the first moment he saw her."
Here, however, Elinor perceived,—not the language, not the professions of Colonel Brandon, but the natural embellishments of her mother's active fancy, which fashioned every thing delightful to her as it chose.
Here, however, Elinor realized—not the words, not the claims of Colonel Brandon, but the natural embellishments of her mother’s lively imagination, which made everything enjoyable to her as it wished.
"His regard for her, infinitely surpassing anything that Willoughby ever felt or feigned, as much more warm, as more sincere or constant, which ever we are to call it, has subsisted through all the knowledge of dear Marianne's unhappy prepossession for that worthless young man! and without selfishness, without encouraging a hope! could he have seen her happy with another. Such a noble mind! such openness, such sincerity! No one can be deceived in him."
"His feelings for her far exceeded anything that Willoughby ever felt or pretended. They were far warmer, more sincere, and more constant—whatever we want to call it. This has persisted despite knowing about dear Marianne's unfortunate obsession with that worthless young man! And without any selfishness or giving false hope! He would have been able to see her happy with someone else. Such a noble mind! Such openness, such sincerity! No one can be misled by him."
"Colonel Brandon's character," said Elinor, "as an excellent man, is well established."
"Colonel Brandon's character," Elinor said, "as a great man, is well established."
"I know it is," replied her mother seriously, "or after such a warning, I should be the last to encourage such affection, or even to be pleased by it. But his coming for me as he did, with such active, such ready friendship, is enough to prove him one of the worthiest of men."
"I know it is," her mother replied seriously, "or after such a warning, I would be the last person to support that kind of affection, or even to feel happy about it. But the way he came for me, with such genuine and willing friendship, shows he's definitely one of the best men."
"His character, however," answered Elinor, "does not rest on one act of kindness, to which his affection for Marianne, were humanity out of the case, would have prompted him. To Mrs. Jennings, to the Middletons, he has been long and intimately[303] known; they equally love and respect him; and even my own knowledge of him, though lately acquired, is very considerable; and so highly do I value and esteem him, that if Marianne can be happy with him, I shall be as ready as yourself to think our connection the greatest blessing to us in the world. What answer did you give him? Did you allow him to hope?"
"His character, though," Elinor replied, "is not based on one act of kindness, which his feelings for Marianne, if we set aside humanity, would have encouraged. He has been well-known to Mrs. Jennings and the Middletons for a long time; they both love and respect him. Even my knowledge of him, although recently gained, is quite substantial. I hold him in such high regard that if Marianne can be happy with him, I will be just as willing as you to see our connection as the greatest blessing in the world. What did you say to him? Did you let him hold out any hope?"
"Oh! my love, I could not then talk of hope to him or to myself. Marianne might at that moment be dying. But he did not ask for hope or encouragement. His was an involuntary confidence, an irrepressible effusion to a soothing friend, not an application to a parent. Yet after a time I did say, for at first I was quite overcome, that if she lived, as I trusted she might, my greatest happiness would lie in promoting their marriage; and since our arrival, since our delightful security, I have repeated it to him more fully, have given him every encouragement in my power. Time, a very little time, I tell him, will do everything; Marianne's heart is not to be wasted for ever on such a man as Willoughby. His own merits must soon secure it."
"Oh! my love, I couldn’t talk about hope to him or even to myself at that moment. Marianne could be dying. But he didn’t ask for hope or encouragement. His feelings were a spontaneous outpouring to a comforting friend, not a request to a parent. Yet after a while, I did say, because I was initially quite overwhelmed, that if she survived, which I hoped she would, my greatest joy would be in helping them get married; and since we arrived, since our wonderful sense of security, I’ve expressed this to him more clearly and given him all the support I could. Time, just a little time, I tell him, will change everything; Marianne's heart won’t be wasted forever on a man like Willoughby. His own qualities will win it soon."
"To judge from the Colonel's spirits, however, you have not yet made him equally sanguine."
"From the Colonel's mood, though, it seems you haven't made him feel just as optimistic."
"No. He thinks Marianne's affection too deeply rooted for any change in it under a great length of time, and even supposing her heart again free, is too diffident of himself to believe, that with such a difference of age and disposition he could ever attach her. There, however, he is quite mistaken. His age is only so much beyond hers as to be an advantage, as to make his character and principles fixed;—and his disposition, I am well convinced, is exactly the very one to make your sister happy. And his person, his manners too, are all in his favour. My partiality does not blind me; he certainly is not so handsome as Willoughby—but at the same time, there is something much more pleasing in his countenance. There was always a something,—if you remember,—in Willoughby's eyes at times, which I did not like."
"No. He believes Marianne's feelings are too deeply rooted to change over time, and even if her heart were free again, he lacks the confidence to think that, with such a difference in age and personality, he could ever win her over. However, he is mistaken there. His age is only slightly more than hers, which is an advantage; it gives him a solid character and principles. And I am convinced that his personality is exactly the one to make your sister happy. His looks and manners are all in his favor as well. My bias doesn't distort my view; he’s definitely not as handsome as Willoughby, but there’s something much more appealing about his expression. If you remember, there was always something about Willoughby's eyes at times that I didn’t like."
Elinor could not remember it;—but her mother, without waiting for her assent, continued—
Elinor couldn't remember it;—but her mother, without waiting for her agreement, continued—
"And his manners, the Colonel's manners are not only more pleasing to me than Willoughby's ever were, but they are of a kind I well know to be more solidly attaching to[304] Marianne. Their gentleness, their genuine attention to other people, and their manly unstudied simplicity is much more accordant with her real disposition, than the liveliness—often artificial, and often ill-timed of the other. I am very sure myself, that had Willoughby turned out as really amiable, as he has proved himself the contrary, Marianne would yet never have been so happy with him as she will be with Colonel Brandon."
"And the Colonel's manners are not only more pleasing to me than Willoughby's ever were, but they're also the kind I know will create a stronger bond with[304] Marianne. His gentleness, genuine attention to others, and natural simplicity align much better with her true nature than Willoughby's liveliness, which is often forced and poorly timed. I'm certain that if Willoughby had actually been as kind as he turned out to be the opposite, Marianne still wouldn't have been as happy with him as she will be with Colonel Brandon."
She paused. Her daughter could not quite agree with her, but her dissent was not heard, and therefore gave no offence.
She paused. Her daughter didn't completely agree with her, but her disagreement went unnoticed, so it didn’t cause any offense.
"At Delaford, she will be within an easy distance of me," added Mrs. Dashwood, "even if I remain at Barton; and in all probability,—for I hear it is a large village,—indeed there certainly must be some small house or cottage close by, that would suit us quite as well as our present situation."
"At Delaford, she’ll be close enough to me," Mrs. Dashwood added, "even if I stay at Barton; and most likely—since I hear it’s a large village—there definitely has to be some small house or cottage nearby that would work for us just as well as our current place."
Poor Elinor!—here was a new scheme for getting her to Delaford!—but her spirit was stubborn.
Poor Elinor!—here was a new plan to get her to Delaford!—but her spirit was strong.
"His fortune too!—for at my time of life you know, everybody cares about that;—and though I neither know nor desire to know, what it really is, I am sure it must be a good one."
"His fortune too!—at my age, you know, everyone cares about that;—and even though I neither know nor want to know what it really is, I'm sure it's a good one."
Here they were interrupted by the entrance of a third person, and Elinor withdrew to think it all over in private, to wish success to her friend, and yet in wishing it, to feel a pang for Willoughby.
Here they were interrupted by the arrival of a third person, and Elinor stepped away to think it through in private, wishing her friend success, but in doing so, feeling a twinge of regret for Willoughby.
CHAPTER XLVI
Marianne's illness, though weakening in its kind, had not been long enough to make her recovery slow; and with youth, natural strength, and her mother's presence in aid, it proceeded so smoothly as to enable her to remove, within four days after the arrival of the latter, into Mrs. Palmer's dressing-room. When there, at her own particular request, for she was impatient to pour forth her thanks to him for fetching her mother, Colonel Brandon was invited to visit her.
Marianne's illness, while debilitating, hadn't lasted long enough for her recovery to be slow; and with her youth, natural strength, and her mother's support, it went so smoothly that she was able to move into Mrs. Palmer's dressing room just four days after her mother arrived. Once there, at her own request, as she was eager to express her gratitude to him for bringing her mother, Colonel Brandon was invited to see her.
His emotion on entering the room, in seeing her altered looks, and in receiving the pale hand which she immediately held out to him, was such, as, in Elinor's conjecture, must arise from something[305] more than his affection for Marianne, or the consciousness of its being known to others; and she soon discovered in his melancholy eye and varying complexion as he looked at her sister, the probable recurrence of many past scenes of misery to his mind, brought back by that resemblance between Marianne and Eliza already acknowledged, and now strengthened by the hollow eye, the sickly skin, the posture of reclining weakness, and the warm acknowledgment of peculiar obligation.
His feelings when he entered the room, seeing her changed appearance, and accepting the pale hand she immediately offered him, were, as Elinor guessed, likely due to more than just his love for Marianne or the awareness of others knowing about it. She quickly noticed in his sad eyes and shifting complexion as he looked at her sister, the likely return of many painful memories, triggered by the similarity between Marianne and Eliza that had already been pointed out and was now intensified by the sunken eyes, the pale skin, the weak posture, and the heartfelt recognition of special obligation.
Mrs. Dashwood, not less watchful of what passed than her daughter, but with a mind very differently influenced, and therefore watching to very different effect, saw nothing in the Colonel's behaviour but what arose from the most simple and self-evident sensations, while in the actions and words of Marianne she persuaded herself to think that something more than gratitude already dawned.
Mrs. Dashwood, just as attentive to what was happening as her daughter, but with a very different mindset that influenced her perceptions, saw nothing in the Colonel's behavior except the most straightforward and obvious feelings. In contrast, she convinced herself that there was something more than gratitude in Marianne's actions and words.
At the end of another day or two, Marianne growing visibly stronger every twelve hours, Mrs. Dashwood, urged equally by her own and her daughter's wishes, began to talk of removing to Barton. On her measures depended those of her two friends; Mrs. Jennings could not quit Cleveland during the Dashwoods' stay; and Colonel Brandon was soon brought, by their united request, to consider his own abode there as equally determinate, if not equally indispensable. At his and Mrs. Jennings's united request in return, Mrs. Dashwood was prevailed on to accept the use of his carriage on her journey back, for the better accommodation of her sick child; and the Colonel, at the joint invitation of Mrs. Dashwood and Mrs. Jennings, whose active good-nature made her friendly and hospitable for other people as well as herself, engaged with pleasure to redeem it by a visit at the cottage, in the course of a few weeks.
At the end of another day or two, Marianne was visibly getting stronger every twelve hours. Mrs. Dashwood, motivated by her own feelings and her daughter's wishes, started talking about moving to Barton. Her plans affected those of her two friends; Mrs. Jennings couldn’t leave Cleveland while the Dashwoods were there, and Colonel Brandon was soon convinced, by their combined request, to consider his own stay there as just as necessary. At his and Mrs. Jennings's request in return, Mrs. Dashwood agreed to use his carriage for her journey back, to better accommodate her sick child. The Colonel, invited by both Mrs. Dashwood and Mrs. Jennings, who was always cheerful and welcoming to others as well as herself, happily agreed to visit the cottage in a few weeks.
The day of separation and departure arrived; and Marianne, after taking so particular and lengthened a leave of Mrs. Jennings, one so earnestly grateful, so full of respect and kind wishes as seemed due to her own heart from a secret acknowledgment of past inattention, and bidding Colonel Brandon farewell with a cordiality of a friend, was carefully assisted by him into the carriage, of which he seemed anxious that she should engross at least half. Mrs. Dashwood and Elinor then followed, and the others were left by themselves, to talk of the travellers, and feel their own[306] dullness, till Mrs. Jennings was summoned to her chaise to take comfort in the gossip of her maid for the loss of her two young companions; and Colonel Brandon immediately afterwards took his solitary way to Delaford.
The day of separation finally came; and Marianne, after saying a heartfelt and lengthy goodbye to Mrs. Jennings, who was sincerely grateful and full of respect and good wishes—emotions that seemed fitting after acknowledging her past inattention—bade farewell to Colonel Brandon with the warmth of a friend. He carefully helped her into the carriage, clearly wishing her to take up at least half of it. Mrs. Dashwood and Elinor then followed, leaving the others to discuss the travelers and feel their own dullness until Mrs. Jennings was called to her carriage to seek comfort in the chatter of her maid about the absence of her two young companions. Colonel Brandon soon after took his lonely way to Delaford.
The Dashwoods were two days on the road, and Marianne bore her journey on both, without essential fatigue. Every thing that the most zealous affection, the most solicitous care could do to render her comfortable, was the office of each watchful companion, and each found their reward in her bodily ease, and her calmness of spirits. To Elinor, the observation of the latter was particularly grateful. She, who had seen her week after week so constantly suffering, oppressed by anguish of heart which she had neither courage to speak of, nor fortitude to conceal, now saw with a joy, which no other could equally share, an apparent composure of mind, which, in being the result as she trusted of serious reflection, must eventually lead her to contentment and cheerfulness.
The Dashwoods were two days on the road, and Marianne handled her journey well, without much fatigue. Everything that the most devoted affection and the most careful attention could do to make her comfortable was done by each concerned companion, and each found their reward in her physical comfort and calmness. For Elinor, seeing this calmness was particularly satisfying. She, who had watched Marianne suffer week after week, burdened by a heartache she couldn’t speak about and didn’t have the strength to hide, now felt a joy that no one else could fully understand at seeing her apparent peace of mind, which she hoped was a result of serious reflection and would eventually lead to happiness and cheerfulness.
As they approached Barton, indeed, and entered on scenes of which every field and every tree brought some peculiar, some painful recollection, she grew silent and thoughtful, and turning away her face from their notice, sat earnestly gazing through the window. But here, Elinor could neither wonder nor blame; and when she saw, as she assisted Marianne from the carriage, that she had been crying, she saw only an emotion too natural in itself to raise any thing less tender than pity, and in its unobtrusiveness entitled to praise. In the whole of her subsequent manner, she traced the direction of a mind awakened to reasonable exertion; for no sooner had they entered their common sitting-room, than Marianne turned her eyes around it with a look of resolute firmness, as if determined at once to accustom herself to the sight of every object with which the remembrance of Willoughby could be connected. She said little, but every sentence aimed at cheerfulness, and though a sigh sometimes escaped her, it never passed away without the atonement of a smile. After dinner she would try her piano-forte. She went to it; but the music on which her eye first rested was an opera, procured for her by Willoughby, containing some of their favourite duets, and bearing on its outward leaf her own name in his hand-writing. That would not do. She shook her head, put the music aside, and after running over the keys for a minute, complained[307] of feebleness in her fingers, and closed the instrument again; declaring however with firmness as she did so, that she should in future practice much.
As they got closer to Barton and entered places where every field and tree stirred up some special, painful memory, she became quiet and lost in thought. Turning away from their gaze, she sat intently looking out the window. But in that moment, Elinor felt neither surprise nor blame; when she helped Marianne out of the carriage and saw that she had been crying, she felt only a natural response that warranted nothing less than sympathy, and in its subtlety, deserved admiration. Throughout the rest of her behavior, Elinor noticed a shift in Marianne’s mindset toward more practical efforts; as soon as they entered their shared sitting room, Marianne scanned the space with a determined look, as if resolved to confront every reminder of Willoughby. She spoke little, but each sentence was meant to be upbeat, and though a sigh occasionally escaped her, she always followed it with a smile. After dinner, she decided to try playing the piano. She approached it, but the first sheet music she saw was an opera that Willoughby had gotten for her, featuring some of their favorite duets, with her name written on the cover in his handwriting. That wouldn’t work. She shook her head, set the music aside, and after playing a few notes for a minute, complained about the weakness in her fingers and closed the piano again; yet she firmly declared that she would practice more from now on.
The next morning produced no abatement in these happy symptoms. On the contrary, with a mind and body alike strengthened by rest, she looked and spoke with more genuine spirit, anticipating the pleasure of Margaret's return, and talking of the dear family party which would then be restored, of their mutual pursuits and cheerful society, as the only happiness worth a wish.
The next morning showed no signs of these happy feelings fading. On the contrary, with her mind and body both refreshed from rest, she appeared and spoke with even more genuine enthusiasm, eager for Margaret's return, and discussing the beloved family gathering that would soon be back together, their shared interests and joyful companionship as the only happiness worth longing for.
"When the weather is settled, and I have recovered my strength," said she, "we will take long walks together every day. We will walk to the farm at the edge of the down, and see how the children go on; we will walk to Sir John's new plantations at Barton Cross, and the Abbeyland; and we will often go the old ruins of the Priory, and try to trace its foundations as far as we are told they once reached. I know we shall be happy. I know the summer will pass happily away. I mean never to be later in rising than six, and from that time till dinner I shall divide every moment between music and reading. I have formed my plan, and am determined to enter on a course of serious study. Our own library is too well known to me, to be resorted to for any thing beyond mere amusement. But there are many works well worth reading at the Park; and there are others of more modern production which I know I can borrow of Colonel Brandon. By reading only six hours a-day, I shall gain in the course of a twelvemonth a great deal of instruction which I now feel myself to want."
"When the weather is nice, and I’ve gotten my strength back," she said, "we'll take long walks together every day. We'll walk to the farm at the edge of the downs and check in on the kids; we'll stroll to Sir John's new plantings at Barton Cross and the Abbeyland; and we'll often visit the old ruins of the Priory, trying to piece together its foundations as far as we're told they once extended. I know we’ll be happy. I know summer will pass joyfully. I plan to never sleep in later than six, and from that time until dinner, I'll split every moment between music and reading. I have my plan in place and I'm determined to dive into serious studying. Our own library is too familiar to me for anything beyond simple enjoyment. But there are plenty of great books at the Park, and I can also borrow more modern works from Colonel Brandon. By reading just six hours a day, I’ll gain a lot of knowledge over the next year that I currently feel I’m missing."
Elinor honoured her for a plan which originated so nobly as this; though smiling to see the same eager fancy which had been leading her to the extreme of languid indolence and selfish repining, now at work in introducing excess into a scheme of such rational employment and virtuous self-control. Her smile however changed to a sigh when she remembered that promise to Willoughby was yet unfulfilled, and feared she had that to communicate which might again unsettle the mind of Marianne, and ruin at least for a time this fair prospect of busy tranquillity. Willing therefore to delay the evil hour, she resolved to wait till her sister's health were more secure, before she appointed it. But the resolution was made only to be broken.
Elinor appreciated her for a plan that started so nobly; yet, she smiled at the same eager imagination that had led her to excessive laziness and selfish complaints, now working to add excess to a scheme of such sensible activity and virtuous self-discipline. However, her smile turned into a sigh when she remembered that her promise to Willoughby was still unfulfilled and feared she had news that might disturb Marianne's mind again, ruining this nice opportunity for peaceful productivity, at least for a while. Wanting to put off the bad news, she decided to wait until her sister's health was more stable before bringing it up. But that decision was made only to be broken.
Marianne had been two or three days at home, before the weather was fine enough for an invalid like herself to venture out. But at last a soft, genial morning appeared; such as might tempt the daughter's wishes and the mother's confidence; and Marianne, leaning on Elinor's arm, was authorised to walk as long as she could without fatigue, in the lane before the house.
Marianne had been home for two or three days before the weather was nice enough for someone like her to go outside. But finally, a warm, pleasant morning arrived; just the kind to encourage the daughter’s desires and reassure the mother; and Marianne, leaning on Elinor’s arm, was allowed to stroll as long as she could without getting tired, in the lane in front of the house.
The sisters set out at a pace, slow as the feebleness of Marianne in an exercise hitherto untried since her illness required;—and they had advanced only so far beyond the house as to admit a full view of the hill, the important hill behind, when pausing with her eyes turned towards it, Marianne calmly said—
The sisters started off at a slow pace, matching Marianne’s weakness from her recent illness—which was a new experience for her; they had only gone far enough from the house to get a clear view of the significant hill behind it when Marianne paused, looking at the hill, and said calmly—
"There, exactly there,"—pointing with one hand, "on that projecting mound,—there I fell; and there I first saw Willoughby."
"There, right there,"—pointing with one hand, "on that sticking-up hill,—that’s where I fell; and that’s where I first saw Willoughby."
Her voice sunk with the word, but presently reviving she added,
Her voice dropped with the word, but soon recovering, she added,
"I am thankful to find that I can look with so little pain on the spot! shall we ever talk on that subject, Elinor?" hesitatingly it was said. "Or will it be wrong? I can talk of it now, I hope, as I ought to do."
"I’m grateful that I can look at that place with so little pain! Will we ever discuss it, Elinor?" it was said hesitantly. "Or would that be inappropriate? I hope I can talk about it now, as I should."
Elinor tenderly invited her to be open.
Elinor gently encouraged her to share her thoughts.
"As for regret," said Marianne, "I have done with that, as far as he is concerned. I do not mean to talk to you of what my feelings have been for him, but what they are now. At present, if I could be satisfied on one point, if I could be allowed to think that he was not always acting a part, not always deceiving me; but above all, if I could be assured that he never was so very wicked as my fears have sometimes fancied him, since the story of that unfortunate girl—"
"As for regret," Marianne said, "I'm done with that when it comes to him. I don't want to talk about how I felt for him in the past, but what I feel now. Right now, if I could just be sure of one thing, if I could believe that he wasn't always putting on an act, not always lying to me; but most importantly, if I could be convinced that he was never as very wicked as my fears sometimes made him out to be, especially after the story of that unfortunate girl—"
She stopped. Elinor joyfully treasured her words as she answered—
She stopped. Elinor happily cherished her words as she replied—
"If you could be assured of that, you think you should be easy."
"If you could be sure of that, you’d think it would be easy."
"Yes. My peace of mind is doubly involved in it; for not only is it horrible to suspect a person, who has been what he has been to me, of such designs, but what must it make me appear to myself? What in a situation like mine, but a most shamefully unguarded affection could expose me to—"[310]
"Yes. My peace of mind is deeply affected by this; it's not just awful to suspect someone who has meant so much to me of such intentions, but what does it say about how I see myself? In a situation like mine, what else could expose me to something so shamefully vulnerable than a careless affection—"[310]
"How then," asked her sister, "would you account for his behaviour?"
"How, then," her sister asked, "would you explain his behavior?"
"I would suppose him—Oh, how gladly would I suppose him!—only fickle, very, very fickle."
"I would think of him—Oh, how gladly would I think of him!—as just someone who is really, really changeable."
Elinor said no more. She was debating within herself on the eligibility of beginning her story directly, or postponing it till Marianne were in stronger health; and they crept on for a few minutes in silence.
Elinor said nothing more. She was weighing whether to start her story right away or wait until Marianne was feeling better; and they continued on in silence for a few minutes.
"I am not wishing him too much good," said Marianne at last with a sigh, "when I wish his secret reflections may be no more unpleasant than my own. He will suffer enough in them."
"I’m not wishing him too much good," Marianne finally said with a sigh, "when I hope his private thoughts are no more unpleasant than my own. He’ll have enough to deal with."
"Do you compare your conduct with his?"
"Do you compare your behavior to his?"
"No. I compare it with what it ought to have been; I compare it with yours."
"No. I compare it to what it should have been; I compare it to yours."
"Our situations have borne little resemblance."
"Our situations have been quite different."
"They have borne more than our conduct. Do not, my dearest Elinor, let your kindness defend what I know your judgment must censure. My illness has made me think. It has given me leisure and calmness for serious recollection. Long before I was enough recovered to talk, I was perfectly able to reflect. I considered the past: I saw in my own behaviour, since the beginning of our acquaintance with him last autumn, nothing but a series of imprudence towards myself, and want of kindness to others. I saw that my own feelings had prepared my sufferings, and that my want of fortitude under them had almost led me to the grave. My illness, I well knew, had been entirely brought on by myself by such negligence of my own health, as I had felt even at the time to be wrong. Had I died, it would have been self-destruction. I did not know my danger till the danger was removed; but with such feelings as these reflections gave me, I wonder at my recovery,—wonder that the very eagerness of my desire to live, to have time for atonement to my God, and to you all, did not kill me at once. Had I died, in what peculiar misery should I have left you, my nurse, my friend, my sister! You, who had seen all the fretful selfishness of my latter days; who had known all the murmurings of my heart! How should I have lived in your remembrance! My mother too! How could you have consoled her! I cannot express my own abhorrence of myself. Whenever I looked towards the past, I saw[311] some duty neglected, or some failing indulged. Every body seemed injured by me. The kindness, the unceasing kindness of Mrs. Jennings, I had repaid with ungrateful contempt. To the Middletons, to the Palmers, the Steeles, to every common acquaintance even, I had been insolent and unjust; with a heart hardened against their merits, and a temper irritated by their very attention. To John, to Fanny, yes, even to them, little as they deserve, I had given less than their due. But you, you above all, above my mother, had been wronged by me. I, and only I, knew your heart and its sorrows; yet to what did it influence me?—not to any compassion that could benefit you or myself. Your example was before me; but to what avail? Was I more considerate of you and your comfort? Did I imitate your forbearance, or lessen your restraints, by taking any part in those offices of general complaisance or particular gratitude which you had hitherto been left to discharge alone? No; not less when I knew you to be unhappy, than when I had believed you at ease, did I turn away from every exertion of duty or friendship; scarcely allowing sorrow to exist but with me, regretting only that heart which had deserted and wronged me, and leaving you, for whom I professed an unbounded affection, to be miserable for my sake."
"They have endured more than our behavior. Please, my dearest Elinor, don’t let your kindness excuse what I know your judgment must criticize. My illness has made me reflect. It has given me the time and calmness for serious thoughts. Long before I was well enough to talk, I was fully able to think. I looked back at the past: I saw my own actions, since the start of our acquaintance with him last autumn, as nothing but a series of mistakes on my part and a lack of respect for others. I realized that my own feelings had caused my suffering, and that my inability to cope with them had nearly led me to my death. I understood that my illness was entirely due to my own carelessness regarding my health, which I even recognized at the time was wrong. If I had died, it would have been self-destruction. I didn’t realize how dangerous it was until the danger was gone; yet with the feelings these reflections brought me, I’m surprised I recovered—surprised that my intense desire to live, to have time for atonement with my God and with all of you, didn’t kill me outright. If I had died, what unique misery would I have left you in, my nurse, my friend, my sister! You, who had witnessed all my fretful selfishness in my later days; who had known all the complaints of my heart! How would I have lived in your memory! My mother too! How could you have comforted her! I can’t express how much I despise myself. Whenever I looked at the past, I saw[311] some duty ignored or some flaw indulged. Everyone seemed hurt by me. The kindness, the endless kindness of Mrs. Jennings, I returned with ungrateful disdain. To the Middletons, to the Palmers, the Steeles, to every casual acquaintance even, I had been rude and unjust; with a heart hardened against their virtues, and a temper irritated by their very kindness. To John, to Fanny, yes, even to them, as little as they deserved, I had given less than they deserved. But you, above all, even above my mother, were wronged by me. I, and only I, understood your heart and its sorrows; yet how did it influence me?—not with any compassion that could help you or myself. Your example was in front of me; but to what end? Was I more mindful of you and your comfort? Did I follow your patience, or ease your burdens by participating in the acts of general kindness or specific gratitude you had been left to handle alone? No; not less when I knew you were unhappy than when I believed you were at ease, did I turn away from any effort of duty or friendship; barely allowing sorrow to exist but with me, regretting only that heart which had deserted and wronged me, and leaving you, for whom I professed limitless affection, to be miserable for my sake."
Here ceased the rapid flow of her self-reproving spirit; and Elinor, impatient to soothe, though too honest to flatter, gave her instantly that praise and support which her frankness and her contrition so well deserved. Marianne pressed her hand and replied—
Here stopped the quick pace of her self-critical thoughts; and Elinor, eager to comfort, yet too true to boost her up with lies, immediately offered her the praise and support that her honesty and regret truly deserved. Marianne squeezed her hand and replied—
"You are very good. The future must be my proof. I have laid down my plan, and if I am capable of adhering to it—my feelings shall be governed and my temper improved. They shall no longer worry others, nor torture myself. I shall now live solely for my family. You, my mother, and Margaret, must henceforth be all the world to me; you will share my affections entirely between you. From you, from my home, I shall never again have the smallest incitement to move; and if I do mix in other society, it will be only to show that my spirit is humbled, my heart amended, and that I can practise the civilities, the lesser duties of life, with gentleness and forbearance. As for Willoughby—to say that I shall soon or that I shall ever forget him, would be idle. His remembrance can be overcome[312] by no change of circumstances or opinions. But it shall be regulated, it shall be checked by religion, by reason, by constant employment."
"You are really great. The future will prove that. I’ve made my plan, and if I can stick to it—my feelings will be under control and my temper will improve. They won’t bother others or torment me anymore. I will now live only for my family. You, my mom, and Margaret will become my whole world; I’ll share my love completely among you. From you, from my home, I won’t have the slightest reason to leave; and if I do interact with others, it will just be to show that I’ve humbled my spirit, fixed my heart, and that I can handle the small courtesies and duties of life with kindness and patience. As for Willoughby—saying that I’ll forget him soon or ever would be pointless. I can’t shake his memory regardless of what changes in my life or beliefs. But it will be managed, it will be controlled by faith, by reason, and by keeping myself busy."
She paused—and added in a low voice, "If I could but know his heart, everything would become easy."
She paused—and added in a quiet voice, "If I could just know his heart, everything would become easier."
Elinor, who had now been for some time reflecting on the propriety or impropriety of speedily hazarding her narration, without feeling at all nearer decision than at first, heard this; and perceiving that as reflection did nothing, resolution must do all, soon found herself leading to the fact.
Elinor, who had been thinking for a while about whether it was appropriate to quickly share her story, without getting any closer to a decision than she had at the start, heard this; and realizing that since thinking wasn't helping, she needed to take action, soon found herself getting to the point.
She managed the recital, as she hoped, with address; prepared her anxious listener with caution; related simply and honestly the chief points on which Willoughby grounded his apology; did justice to his repentance, and softened only his protestations of present regard. Marianne said not a word. She trembled, her eyes were fixed on the ground, and her lips became whiter than even sickness had left them. A thousand inquiries sprung up from her heart, but she dared not urge one. She caught every syllable with panting eagerness; her hand, unknowingly to herself, closely pressed her sister's, and tears covered her cheeks.
She handled the recital just like she hoped to, with poise; carefully prepared her anxious listener; simply and honestly summarized the main points of Willoughby’s apology; acknowledged his regret, and only softened his declarations of current feelings. Marianne didn’t say a word. She trembled, her eyes glued to the ground, and her lips became even paler than illness had left them. A thousand questions rushed through her mind, but she didn’t dare ask any. She listened intently, her heart racing; without realizing it, her hand tightly held her sister's, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
Elinor, dreading her being tired, led her towards home; and till they reached the door of the cottage, easily conjecturing what her curiosity must be though no question was suffered to speak it, talked of nothing but Willoughby, and their conversation together; and was carefully minute in every particular of speech and look, where minuteness could be safely indulged. As soon as they entered the house, Marianne with a kiss of gratitude and these two words just articulate through her tears, "Tell mama," withdrew from her sister and walked slowly up stairs. Elinor would not attempt to disturb a solitude so reasonable as what she now sought; and with a mind anxiously pre-arranging its result, and a resolution of reviving the subject again, should Marianne fail to do it, she turned into the parlour to fulfill her parting injunction.
Elinor, worrying that Marianne might be exhausted, guided her home; and until they reached the door of the cottage, easily guessing what her curiosity must be even though no questions were asked, talked only about Willoughby and their conversations. She was careful to provide every detail of their interactions, sharing as much as she could without overstepping. Once they entered the house, Marianne, with a grateful kiss and the two words just barely spoken through her tears, "Tell Mama," withdrew from her sister and slowly went upstairs. Elinor didn’t want to interrupt the solitude that was so reasonable for Marianne at that moment; and with her mind anxiously planning for what might happen next, ready to bring up the topic again if Marianne didn’t, she stepped into the parlor to fulfill her sister's request.
CHAPTER XLVII
Mrs. Dashwood did not hear unmoved the vindication of her former favourite. She rejoiced in his being cleared from some part of his imputed guilt;—she was sorry for him;—she wished him happy. But the feelings of the past could not be recalled. Nothing could restore him with a faith unbroken—a character unblemished, to Marianne. Nothing could do away the knowledge of what the latter had suffered through his means, nor remove the guilt of his conduct towards Eliza. Nothing could replace him, therefore, in her former esteem, nor injure the interests of Colonel Brandon.
Mrs. Dashwood was not unaffected by the clearing of her former favorite's name. She was glad he had been exonerated of some of the blame; she felt sorry for him and wished him happiness. However, the feelings of the past couldn’t be brought back. Nothing could restore his unshaken faith or his unblemished character to Marianne. Nothing could erase the pain she had endured because of him, nor could it change the wrongdoing he had done to Eliza. Therefore, nothing could replace him in her previous esteem, nor harm Colonel Brandon's interests.
Had Mrs. Dashwood, like her daughter, heard Willoughby's story from himself,—had she witnessed his distress, and been under the influence of his countenance and his manner, it is probable that her compassion would have been greater. But it was neither in Elinor's power, nor in her wish, to rouse such feelings in another, by her retailed explanation, as had at first been called forth in herself. Reflection had given calmness to her judgment, and sobered her own opinion of Willoughby's deserts; she wished, therefore, to declare only the simple truth, and lay open such facts as were really due to his character, without any embellishment of tenderness to lead the fancy astray.
If Mrs. Dashwood had heard Willoughby's story from him, like her daughter did—if she had seen his distress and been affected by his expression and demeanor—it's likely that she would have felt more compassion. However, Elinor couldn’t, and didn’t want to, stir those feelings in someone else through her recounting of the story, as they had initially been stirred in her. Thinking things over had brought clarity to her judgment and had sobered her view of Willoughby’s worthiness; therefore, she wanted to share only the plain truth and present the facts that were genuinely relevant to his character, without any embellishment of sentimentality to mislead anyone.
In the evening, when they were all three together, Marianne began voluntarily to speak of him again; but that it was not without an effort, the restless, unquiet thoughtfulness in which she had been for some time previously sitting, her rising colour, as she spoke, and her unsteady voice, plainly showed.
In the evening, when the three of them were together, Marianne started to talk about him again, but it was clear that it took effort. The restless, unsettled look she had been wearing for a while, the way her face flushed as she spoke, and her shaky voice made it obvious.
"I wish to assure you both," said she, "that I see every thing—as you can desire me to do."
"I want to assure you both," she said, "that I see everything—as much as you could want me to."
Mrs. Dashwood would have interrupted her instantly with soothing tenderness, had not Elinor, who really wished to hear her sister's unbiased opinion, by an eager sign, engaged her silence. Marianne slowly continued—
Mrs. Dashwood would have interrupted her right away with comforting kindness, if Elinor, who genuinely wanted to hear her sister's honest opinion, hadn't eagerly signaled for her to stay quiet. Marianne slowly continued—
"It is a great relief to me—what Elinor told me this morning—I have now heard exactly what I wished to hear."—For some moments her voice was lost; but recovering herself, she added, and with greater calmness than before—"I am now perfectly[314] satisfied, I wish for no change. I never could have been happy with him, after knowing, as sooner or later I must have known, all this. I should have had no confidence, no esteem. Nothing could have done it away to my feelings."
"It's such a relief to me—what Elinor told me this morning—I finally heard what I needed to hear."—For a moment, her voice faltered; but regaining her composure, she added, with more calm than before—"I am now completely[314] satisfied, and I don’t want anything to change. I could never have been happy with him after knowing, as I eventually would have, all of this. I would have had no trust, no respect. Nothing could have changed how I felt."
"I know it—I know it," cried her mother. "Happy with a man of libertine practices!—With one who so injured the peace of the dearest of our friends, and the best of men!—No—my Marianne has not a heart to be made happy with such a man!—Her conscience, her sensitive conscience, would have felt all that the conscience of her husband ought to have felt."
"I know it—I know it," her mother exclaimed. "Happy with a man who has such loose morals!—With someone who ruined the peace of our closest friend and the best of men!—No—my Marianne doesn’t have a heart that could be happy with a man like that!—Her conscience, her very sensitive conscience, would have felt everything her husband’s conscience should have felt."
Marianne sighed, and repeated, "I wish for no change."
Marianne sighed and said again, "I don't want anything to change."
"You consider the matter," said Elinor, "exactly as a good mind and a sound understanding must consider it; and I dare say you perceive, as well as myself, not only in this, but in many other circumstances, reason enough to be convinced that your marriage must have involved you in many certain troubles and disappointments, in which you would have been poorly supported by an affection, on his side, much less certain. Had you married, you must have been always poor. His expensiveness is acknowledged even by himself, and his whole conduct declares that self-denial is a word hardly understood by him. His demands and your inexperience together, on a small, very small income, must have brought on distresses which would not be the less grievous to you, from having been entirely unknown and unthought of before. Your sense of honour and honesty would have led you, I know, when aware of your situation, to attempt all the economy that would appear to you possible: and, perhaps, as long as your frugality retrenched only on your own comfort, you might have been suffered to practice it, but beyond that—and how little could the utmost of your single management do to stop the ruin which had begun before your marriage? beyond that, had you endeavoured, however reasonably, to abridge his enjoyments, is it not to be feared, that instead of prevailing on feelings so selfish to consent to it, you would have lessened your own influence on his heart, and made him regret the connection which had involved him in such difficulties?"
"You think about this issue," Elinor said, "just as a sharp mind and good judgment should. I’m sure you see, just like I do, that there are plenty of reasons to believe your marriage would have led you to many real troubles and disappointments. You would have struggled to find support from an affection that would have been far less reliable on his part. If you had married, you would have always been poor. Even he admits he’s extravagant, and his behavior shows that he hardly understands the concept of self-denial. His demands combined with your lack of experience, all on a very small income, would have created hardships that would be even more painful for you since they were completely unexpected. Your sense of honor and integrity would have pushed you, I know, to try every possible way to save money once you realized your situation: and maybe, as long as your frugality only affected your own comfort, you could have practiced it. But beyond that—and truly, how much could your best efforts even begin to prevent the financial ruin that had already started before your marriage? Beyond all that, if you tried, no matter how reasonably, to cut back on his pleasures, wouldn’t it be feared that rather than getting through to someone so selfish, you would end up reducing your own influence on his heart, and making him regret being tied to you through these hardships?"
Marianne's lips quivered, and she repeated the word "Selfish?" in a tone that implied, "do you really think him selfish?"
Marianne's lips trembled, and she echoed the word "Selfish?" in a tone that suggested, "do you really think he's selfish?"
"The whole of his behaviour," replied Elinor, "from the[315] beginning to the end of the affair, has been grounded on selfishness. It was selfishness which first made him sport with your affections; which afterwards, when his own were engaged, made him delay the confession of it, and which finally carried him from Barton. His own enjoyment, or his own ease, was, in every particular, his ruling principle."
"The way he acted," Elinor replied, "from the very start to the finish of the whole situation, has been based on selfishness. It was selfishness that first led him to toy with your feelings; then, when he finally got involved himself, it made him put off admitting it, and ultimately, it drove him away from Barton. His own pleasure, or his own comfort, was his main priority in every instance."
"It is very true. My happiness never was his object."
"It’s definitely true. My happiness was never his priority."
"At present," continued Elinor, "he regrets what he has done. And why does he regret it?—Because he finds it has not answered towards himself. It has not made him happy. His circumstances are now unembarrassed—he suffers from no evil of that kind; and he thinks only that he has married a woman of a less amiable temper than yourself. But does it follow that had he married you, he would have been happy?—The inconveniences would have been different. He would then have suffered under the pecuniary distresses which, because they are removed, he now reckons as nothing. He would have had a wife of whose temper he could make no complaint, but he would have been always necessitous—always poor; and probably would soon have learned to rank the innumerable comforts of a clear estate and good income as of far more importance, even to domestic happiness, than the mere temper of a wife."
"Right now," Elinor continued, "he regrets what he did. And why does he regret it?—Because he realizes it hasn’t worked out for him. It hasn’t made him happy. His situation is now straightforward—he’s not suffering from any of those troubles; and he only thinks that he married a woman who’s not as pleasant as you are. But does that mean that if he had married you, he would have been happy?—The issues would have been different. He would have been dealing with financial struggles that, now that they’re gone, he doesn’t consider significant. He would have had a wife whose temperament he couldn’t complain about, but he would have always been in need—always poor; and he probably would have quickly learned to see the countless benefits of having a stable income and clear finances as far more important, even to domestic happiness, than just a wife’s temperament."
"I have not a doubt of it," said Marianne; "and I have nothing to regret—nothing but my own folly."
"I have no doubt about it," said Marianne; "and I have nothing to regret—nothing except my own foolishness."
"Rather say your mother's imprudence, my child," said Mrs. Dashwood; "she must be answerable."
"Rather say your mother's recklessness, my child," said Mrs. Dashwood; "she must take responsibility."
Marianne would not let her proceed;—and Elinor, satisfied that each felt their own error, wished to avoid any survey of the past that might weaken her sister's spirits; she, therefore, pursuing the first subject, immediately continued—
Marianne wouldn’t let her continue; and Elinor, knowing that they both recognized their mistakes, wanted to avoid any discussion of the past that might upset her sister. So, she went back to the original topic and immediately continued—
"One observation may, I think, be fairly drawn from the whole of the story—that all Willoughby's difficulties have arisen from the first offence against virtue, in his behaviour to Eliza Williams. That crime has been the origin of every lesser one, and of all his present discontents."
"One observation can, I believe, be fairly made from the entire story—that all of Willoughby's troubles stem from his initial wrongdoing towards Eliza Williams. That sin has led to every smaller mistake and all his current unhappiness."
Marianne assented most feelingly to the remark; and her mother was led by it to an enumeration of Colonel Brandon's injuries and merits, warm as friendship and design could unitedly dictate. Her daughter did not look, however, as if much of it were heard by her.[316]
Marianne agreed wholeheartedly with the comment; and it prompted her mother to list Colonel Brandon's faults and virtues, as passionately as friendship and intention could inspire. However, her daughter didn’t seem to be paying much attention to it.[316]
Elinor, according to her expectation, saw on the two or three following days, that Marianne did not continue to gain strength as she had done; but while her resolution was unsubdued, and she still tried to appear cheerful and easy, her sister could safely trust to the effect of time upon her health.
Elinor, as she expected, noticed over the next couple of days that Marianne wasn't getting stronger as she had before; however, as long as her determination stayed strong and she continued to act cheerful and relaxed, her sister could confidently rely on time to improve her health.
Margaret returned, and the family were again all restored to each other, again quietly settled at the cottage; and if not pursuing their usual studies with quite so much vigour as when they first came to Barton, at least planning a vigorous prosecution of them in future.
Margaret came back, and the family was once again reunited, settled back at the cottage. While they weren't pursuing their usual studies as energetically as when they first arrived in Barton, they were at least planning to approach them with more energy in the future.
Elinor grew impatient for some tidings of Edward. She had heard nothing of him since her leaving London, nothing new of his plans, nothing certain even of his present abode. Some letters had passed between her and her brother, in consequence of Marianne's illness; and in the first of John's, there had been this sentence:—"We know nothing of our unfortunate Edward, and can make no enquiries on so prohibited a subject, but conclude him to be still at Oxford"; which was all the intelligence of Edward afforded her by the correspondence, for his name was not even mentioned in any of the succeeding letters. She was not doomed, however, to be long in ignorance of his measures.
Elinor became restless waiting for news about Edward. She hadn't heard anything from him since leaving London, nothing new about his plans, and nothing even about where he was living right now. Some letters had been exchanged between her and her brother due to Marianne's illness; in John's first letter, there was this line: “We know nothing about our unfortunate Edward and can’t ask about such a restricted topic, but we assume he's still in Oxford.” That was the only update about Edward she received from their correspondence, as his name wasn’t mentioned in any of the following letters. However, she wouldn’t stay in the dark about his situation for much longer.
Their man-servant had been sent one morning to Exeter on business; and when, as he waited at table, he had satisfied the inquiries of his mistress as to the event of his errand, this was his voluntary communication—
Their male servant had been sent to Exeter on an errand one morning; and when he was serving at the table and had answered his mistress's questions about how his errand went, this was his unsolicited comment—
"I suppose you know, ma'am, that Mr. Ferrars is married."
"I guess you know, ma'am, that Mr. Ferrars is married."
Marianne gave a violent start, fixed her eyes upon Elinor, saw her turning pale, and fell back in her chair in hysterics. Mrs. Dashwood, whose eyes, as she answered the servant's inquiry, had intuitively taken the same direction, was shocked to perceive by Elinor's countenance how much she really suffered, and a moment afterwards, alike distressed by Marianne's situation, knew not on which child to bestow her principal attention.
Marianne jumped in shock, locked her gaze on Elinor, noticed her turning pale, and collapsed in her chair, hysterical. Mrs. Dashwood, whose eyes followed the servant's question, was alarmed to see how much Elinor was actually suffering, and a moment later, equally upset by Marianne's condition, didn't know which child to focus on.
The servant, who saw only that Miss Marianne was taken ill, had sense enough to call one of the maids, who, with Mrs. Dashwood's assistance, supported her into the other room. By that time, Marianne was rather better, and her mother leaving her to the care of Margaret and the maid, returned to Elinor, who, though still much disordered, had so far recovered the use of her reason and voice as to be just beginning an inquiry of Thomas, as to the source of his intelligence. Mrs. Dashwood immediately took all that trouble on herself; and Elinor had the benefit of the information without the exertion of seeking it.
The servant, who only saw that Miss Marianne was unwell, had the sense to call one of the maids. With Mrs. Dashwood's help, they supported her into the other room. By then, Marianne was feeling a bit better, and her mother, leaving her in the care of Margaret and the maid, went back to Elinor. Although Elinor was still quite upset, she had started to regain her reasoning and voice and was just beginning to ask Thomas about where he got his information. Mrs. Dashwood immediately took on all that responsibility, so Elinor could benefit from the information without having to seek it out herself.
"Who told you that Mr. Ferrars was married, Thomas?"
"Who told you that Mr. Ferrars is married, Thomas?"
"I see Mr. Ferrars myself, ma'am, this morning in Exeter, and his lady too, Miss Steele as was. They was stopping in a chaise at the door of the New London Inn, as I went there with a message from Sally at the Park to her brother, who is one of the post-boys. I happened to look up as I went by the chaise, and so I see directly it was the youngest Miss Steele; so I took off my hat, and she knew me and called to me, and inquired after you, ma'am, and the young ladies, especially Miss Marianne, and bid me I should give her compliments and Mr. Ferrars's, their best compliments and service, and how sorry they was they had not time to come on and see you, but they was in a great hurry to go forwards, for they was going further down for a little while, but however, when they come back, they'd make sure to come and see you."
"I saw Mr. Ferrars this morning in Exeter, along with his wife, Miss Steele. They were stopped in a carriage at the door of the New London Inn as I went there with a message from Sally at the Park to her brother, who is one of the post-boys. I happened to look up as I passed by the carriage, and immediately recognized it was the younger Miss Steele; so I took off my hat, and she recognized me and called out to me, asking how you were, ma'am, as well as the young ladies, especially Miss Marianne. She asked me to send her and Mr. Ferrars's best wishes and regards, saying how sorry they were they didn't have time to stop by and see you, but they were in a hurry to continue on, as they were heading further down for a little while. However, when they return, they promised to make sure to come and see you."
"But did she tell you she was married, Thomas?"
"But did she tell you she was married, Thomas?"
"Yes, ma'am. She smiled, and said how she had changed her name since she was in these parts. She was always a very affable and free-spoken young lady, and very civil behaved. So, I made free to wish her joy."
"Yes, ma'am. She smiled and mentioned that she had changed her name since she was in this area. She was always a very friendly and open-spoken young lady, and she was very well-mannered. So, I took the liberty of wishing her happiness."
"Was Mr. Ferrars in the carriage with her?"
"Was Mr. Ferrars in the car with her?"
"Yes, ma'am, I just see him leaning back in it, but he did not look up;—he never was a gentleman much for talking."
"Yeah, ma'am, I just saw him leaning back in it, but he didn't look up;—he was never really one for chatting."
Elinor's heart could easily account for his not putting himself forward; and Mrs. Dashwood probably found the same explanation.
Elinor understood why he didn't step up, and Mrs. Dashwood likely came to the same conclusion.
"Was there no one else in the carriage?"
"Was there nobody else in the carriage?"
"No, ma'am, only they two."
"No, ma'am, just those two."
"Do you know where they came from?"
"Do you know where they came from?"
"They come straight from town, as Miss Lucy—Mrs. Ferrars told me."
"They come straight from town, just like Miss Lucy—Mrs. Ferrars told me."
"And are they going farther westward?"
"And are they going further west?"
"Yes, ma'am—but not to bide long. They will soon be back again, and then they'd be sure and call here."
"Yeah, ma'am—but not to stay long. They'll be back soon, and then they'll definitely call here."
Mrs. Dashwood now looked at her daughter; but Elinor knew better than to expect them. She recognised the whole of Lucy in the message, and was very confident that Edward would[319] never come near them. She observed in a low voice, to her mother, that they were probably going down to Mr. Pratt's, near Plymouth.
Mrs. Dashwood looked at her daughter, but Elinor knew better than to expect anything. She recognized Lucy's influence in the message and was quite sure that Edward would[319] never come near them. She quietly mentioned to her mother that they were probably heading to Mr. Pratt's near Plymouth.
Thomas's intelligence seemed over. Elinor looked as if she wished to hear more.
Thomas's intelligence seemed to have faded. Elinor looked like she wanted to hear more.
"Did you see them off, before you came away?"
"Did you see them off before you left?"
"No, ma'am—the horses were just coming out, but I could not bide any longer; I was afraid of being late."
"No, ma'am—the horses were just coming out, but I couldn't wait any longer; I was scared of being late."
"Did Mrs. Ferrars look well?"
"Did Mrs. Ferrars look ok?"
"Yes, ma'am, she said how she was very well; and to my mind she was always a very handsome young lady—and she seemed vastly contented."
"Yes, ma'am, she said she was doing very well; and in my opinion, she was always a very attractive young lady—and she seemed really happy."
Mrs. Dashwood could think of no other question, and Thomas and the tablecloth, now alike needless, were soon afterwards dismissed. Marianne had already sent to say, that she should eat nothing more. Mrs. Dashwood's and Elinor's appetites were equally lost, and Margaret might think herself very well off, that with so much uneasiness as both her sisters had lately experienced, so much reason as they had often had to be careless of their meals, she had never been obliged to go without her dinner before.
Mrs. Dashwood couldn’t think of any other questions, and Thomas and the tablecloth, now both unnecessary, were quickly sent away. Marianne had already mentioned that she wouldn’t eat anything else. Mrs. Dashwood and Elinor had both lost their appetites, and Margaret could consider herself lucky that, despite the recent distress her sisters had experienced and the many times they had had to ignore their meals, she had never had to skip dinner before.
When the dessert and the wine were arranged, and Mrs. Dashwood and Elinor were left by themselves, they remained long together in a similarity of thoughtfulness and silence. Mrs. Dashwood feared to hazard any remark, and ventured not to offer consolation. She now found that she had erred in relying on Elinor's representation of herself; and justly concluded that every thing had been expressly softened at the time, to spare her from an increase of unhappiness, suffering as she then had suffered for Marianne. She found that she had been misled by the careful, the considerate attention of her daughter, to think the attachment, which once she had so well understood, much slighter in reality, than she had been wont to believe, or than it was now proved to be. She feared that under this persuasion she had been unjust, inattentive, nay, almost unkind, to her Elinor; that Marianne's affliction, because more acknowledged, more immediately before her, had too much engrossed her tenderness, and led her away to forget that in Elinor she might have a daughter suffering almost as much, certainly with less self-provocation, and greater fortitude.
When the dessert and wine were set out, and Mrs. Dashwood and Elinor were left alone, they stayed together in a shared quietness and contemplation. Mrs. Dashwood hesitated to say anything, fearing her words might not be comforting. She realized she had been mistaken to rely on Elinor's portrayal of herself; it became clear that everything had been intentionally downplayed at the time to spare her from feeling more unhappiness, especially while she was already suffering for Marianne. She discovered that she had misinterpreted her daughter’s careful and thoughtful behavior, leading her to believe that the connection she once understood so well was much less intense than it actually was or than it had now been revealed to be. She worried that, under this misconception, she had been unfair, inattentive, and even somewhat unkind to Elinor; that Marianne's visible struggles had captured her compassion so much that she forgot about Elinor, who was also suffering, perhaps even more so, with less self-inflicted pain and greater strength.
CHAPTER XLVIII
Elinor now found the difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event, however certain the mind may be told to consider it, and certainty itself. She now found, that in spite of herself, she had always admitted a hope, while Edward remained single, that something would occur to prevent his marrying Lucy; that some resolution of his own, some mediation of friends, or some more eligible opportunity of establishment for the lady, would arise to assist the happiness of all. But he was now married; and she condemned her heart for the lurking flattery, which so much heightened the pain of the intelligence.
Elinor now recognized the difference between anticipating an unpleasant event, no matter how much her mind was conditioned to accept it, and the reality of that event actually happening. She realized that, despite her efforts, she had always held onto the hope that while Edward was still single, something would happen to stop him from marrying Lucy; whether it was a decision he would make, interference from friends, or a better opportunity for Lucy to secure her future. But now he was married, and she felt guilty for the lingering hope that had intensified the pain of the news.
That he should be married soon, before (as she imagined) he could be in orders, and consequently before he could be in possession of the living, surprised her a little at first. But she soon saw how likely it was that Lucy, in her self-provident care, in her haste to secure him, should overlook every thing but the risk of delay. They were married, married in town, and now hastening down to her uncle's. What had Edward felt on being within four miles from Barton, on seeing her mother's servant, on hearing Lucy's message!
That he would get married soon, before (as she thought) he could take holy orders, and therefore before he could inherit the living, surprised her a bit at first. But she quickly realized how likely it was that Lucy, in her practical concern and eagerness to lock him down, would overlook everything except the risk of waiting. They were married, married in the city, and now rushing down to her uncle's. What had Edward felt being just four miles from Barton, seeing her mother's servant, hearing Lucy's message!
They would soon, she supposed, be settled at Delaford;—Delaford,—that place in which so much conspired to give her an interest; which she wished to be acquainted with, and yet desired to avoid. She saw them in an instant in their parsonage-house; saw in Lucy, the active, contriving manager, uniting at once a desire of smart appearance with the utmost frugality, and ashamed to be suspected of half her economical practices; pursuing her own interest in every thought, courting the favour of Colonel Brandon, of Mrs. Jennings, and of every wealthy friend. In Edward, she knew not what she saw, nor what she wished to see. Happy or unhappy, nothing pleased her; she turned away her head from every sketch of him.
She thought they would soon be settled at Delaford;—Delaford,—the place that had so much about it to capture her interest; a place she wanted to know more about, yet also wanted to avoid. In her mind, she could see them in their parsonage house; she saw Lucy, the energetic, clever manager, who combined a desire to look good with extreme thriftiness, while being embarrassed to be caught in some of her money-saving habits; always looking out for her own interests, trying to win the favor of Colonel Brandon, Mrs. Jennings, and any wealthy friends. As for Edward, she wasn’t sure what she saw in him or what she wanted to see. Whether he was happy or unhappy, nothing about him made her happy; she turned her head away from every image of him.
Elinor flattered herself that some one of their connections in London would write to them to announce the event, and give farther particulars,—but day after day passed off, and brought no letter, no tidings. Though uncertain that any one were[321] to blame, she found fault with every absent friend. They were all thoughtless or indolent.
Elinor hoped that someone they knew in London would write to them to share the news and provide more details, but day after day went by without a letter or any news. Although she wasn’t sure anyone was to blame, she criticized every friend who hadn’t reached out. She considered them all inconsiderate or lazy.
"When do you write to Colonel Brandon, ma'am?" was an inquiry which sprung from the impatience of her mind to have something going on.
"When are you writing to Colonel Brandon, ma'am?" was a question that came from her restless desire to have something happening.
"I wrote to him, my love, last week, and rather expect to see, than to hear from him again. I earnestly pressed his coming to us, and should not be surprised to see him walk in today or tomorrow, or any day."
"I wrote to him, my love, last week, and I expect to see him again rather than just hear from him. I really urged him to come visit us, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him walk in today, tomorrow, or any day."
This was gaining something, something to look forward to. Colonel Brandon must have some information to give.
This was getting something, something to look forward to. Colonel Brandon must have some information to share.
Scarcely had she so determined it, when the figure of a man on horseback drew her eyes to the window. He stopped at their gate. It was a gentleman, it was Colonel Brandon himself. Now she could hear more; and she trembled in expectation of it. But—it was not Colonel Brandon—neither his air—nor his height. Were it possible, she must say it must be Edward. She looked again. He had just dismounted;—she could not be mistaken,—it was Edward. She moved away and sat down. "He comes from Mr. Pratt's purposely to see us. I will be calm, I will be mistress of myself."
As soon as she made that decision, she noticed a man on horseback at the window. He stopped at their gate. It was a gentleman; it was Colonel Brandon himself. Now she could hear more, and she felt a rush of anticipation. But—it was not Colonel Brandon—neither his demeanor—nor his height. If it were possible, she had to say it was Edward. She looked again. He had just gotten off his horse; she couldn’t be wrong—it was Edward. She moved away and sat down. "He comes from Mr. Pratt's just to see us. I will stay calm, I will control myself."
In a moment she perceived that the others were likewise aware of the mistake. She saw her mother and Marianne change colour; saw them look at herself, and whisper a few sentences to each other. She would have given the world to be able to speak—and to make them understand that she hoped no coolness, no slight, would appear in their behaviour to him;—but she had no utterance, and was obliged to leave all to their own discretion.
In an instant, she realized that the others also recognized the mistake. She noticed her mother and Marianne change color; she saw them glance at her and whisper a few sentences to each other. She would have done anything to be able to speak—and to make them understand that she hoped there would be no awkwardness or disrespect in their behavior towards him;—but she was speechless and had to rely on their judgment.
Not a syllable passed aloud. They all waited in silence for the appearance of their visitor. His footsteps were heard along the gravel path; in a moment he was in the passage, and in another he was before them.
Not a word was spoken. They all waited in silence for their guest to arrive. They heard his footsteps on the gravel path; moments later, he was in the hallway, and just like that, he was standing in front of them.
His countenance, as he entered the room, was not too happy, even for Elinor. His complexion was white with agitation, and he looked as if fearful of his reception, and conscious that he merited no kind one. Mrs. Dashwood, however, conforming, as she trusted, to the wishes of that daughter, by whom she then meant in the warmth of her heart to be guided in every thing, met him with a look of forced complacency, gave him her hand, and wished him joy.
His expression, as he walked into the room, was far from cheerful, even for Elinor. His face was pale with anxiety, and he seemed anxious about how he would be received, aware that he didn't deserve anything kind. However, Mrs. Dashwood, hoping to fulfill the wishes of her daughter whom she intended to follow in all things with warmth in her heart, greeted him with an artificial smile, offered him her hand, and wished him happiness.
He coloured, and stammered out an unintelligible reply. Elinor's lips had moved with her mother's, and, when the moment of action was over, she wished that she had shaken hands with him too. But it was then too late, and with a countenance meaning to be open, she sat down again and talked of the weather.
He flushed and stumbled over an unclear response. Elinor's lips had moved along with her mother’s, and once the moment had passed, she regretted not shaking his hand too. But it was too late for that, so, trying to look friendly, she sat down again and talked about the weather.
Marianne had retreated as much as possible out of sight, to conceal her distress; and Margaret, understanding some part, but not the whole of the case, thought it incumbent on her to be dignified, and therefore took a seat as far from him as she could, and maintained a strict silence.
Marianne had moved away as much as she could to hide her distress, and Margaret, understanding part of the situation but not everything, felt it was necessary to act with dignity. So, she sat as far from him as possible and kept silent.
When Elinor had ceased to rejoice in the dryness of the season, a very awful pause took place. It was put an end to by Mrs. Dashwood, who felt obliged to hope that he had left Mrs. Ferrars very well. In a hurried manner, he replied in the affirmative.
When Elinor stopped feeling happy about the dry season, there was an uncomfortable silence. Mrs. Dashwood broke it, feeling she had to express hope that he had left Mrs. Ferrars in good health. In a rush, he responded that she was indeed well.
Another pause.
Another pause.
Elinor resolving to exert herself, though fearing the sound of her own voice, now said—
Elinor decided to push herself, even though she was nervous about how her voice sounded, and said—
"Is Mrs. Ferrars at Longstaple?"
"Is Mrs. Ferrars at Longstaple?"
"At Longstaple!" he replied, with an air of surprise. "No, my mother is in town."
"At Longstaple!" he said, sounding surprised. "No, my mom is in town."
"I meant," said Elinor, taking up some work from the table, "to inquire for Mrs. Edward Ferrars."
"I meant," said Elinor, picking up some work from the table, "to ask about Mrs. Edward Ferrars."
She dared not look up;—but her mother and Marianne both turned their eyes on him. He coloured, seemed perplexed, looked doubtingly, and, after some hesitation, said,—
She didn't dare look up;—but her mother and Marianne both focused their eyes on him. He blushed, appeared confused, looked uncertain, and, after a moment of hesitation, said,—
"Perhaps you mean—my brother—you mean Mrs.—Mrs. Robert Ferrars."
"Maybe you mean—my brother—you mean Mrs.—Mrs. Robert Ferrars."
"Mrs. Robert Ferrars!"—was repeated by Marianne and her mother in an accent of the utmost amazement;—and though Elinor could not speak, even her eyes were fixed on him with the same impatient wonder. He rose from his seat, and walked to the window, apparently from not knowing what to do; took up a pair of scissors that lay there, and while spoiling both them and their sheath by cutting the latter to pieces as he spoke, said, in a hurried voice—
"Mrs. Robert Ferrars!"—was echoed by Marianne and her mother in utter disbelief;—and although Elinor couldn't find her words, even her eyes were locked on him with the same eager curiosity. He got up from his chair and walked to the window, seemingly unsure of what to do; picked up a pair of scissors that were lying there, and while ruining both the scissors and their sheath by cutting the sheath to shreds as he talked, said in a rushed tone—
"Perhaps you do not know—you may not have heard that my brother is lately married to—to the youngest—to Miss Lucy Steele."
"Maybe you haven't heard that my brother just got married—to the youngest—Miss Lucy Steele."
His words were echoed with unspeakable astonishment[324] by all but Elinor, who sat with her head leaning over her work, in a state of such agitation as made her hardly know where she was.
His words were met with incredible shock[324] by everyone except Elinor, who sat with her head bent over her work, in a kind of distress that made her barely aware of her surroundings.
"Yes," said he, "they were married last week, and are now at Dawlish."
"Yes," he said, "they got married last week and are now in Dawlish."
Elinor could sit it no longer. She almost ran out of the room, and as soon as the door was closed, burst into tears of joy, which at first she thought would never cease. Edward, who had till then looked any where, rather than at her, saw her hurry away, and perhaps saw, or even heard, her emotion; for immediately afterwards he fell into a reverie, which no remarks, no inquiries, no affectionate address of Mrs. Dashwood could penetrate, and at last, without saying a word, quitted the room, and walked out towards the village, leaving the others in the greatest astonishment and perplexity on a change in his situation, so wonderful and so sudden,—a perplexity which they had no means of lessening but by their own conjectures.
Elinor could hardly take it anymore. She almost ran out of the room, and as soon as the door closed, she burst into tears of joy, which she initially thought would never stop. Edward, who had been looking anywhere but at her, saw her rush out, and maybe saw or even heard her emotion; because right after that, he fell into deep thought, which no comments, questions, or affectionate words from Mrs. Dashwood could break through. Finally, without saying a word, he left the room and walked toward the village, leaving everyone else in complete shock and confusion over such a remarkable and sudden change in his situation—a confusion they could only try to resolve with their own guesses.
CHAPTER XLIX
Unaccountable, however, as the circumstances of his release might appear to the whole family, it was certain that Edward was free; and to what purpose that freedom would be employed was easily pre-determined by all;—for after experiencing the blessings of one imprudent engagement, contracted without his mother's consent, as he had already done for more than four years, nothing less could be expected of him in the failure of that, than the immediate contraction of another.
Unexplainable as the circumstances of his release might seem to the whole family, it was clear that Edward was free; and everyone could easily predict how he would use that freedom. After experiencing the consequences of one reckless decision made without his mother's permission, which he had already been dealing with for more than four years, it was only reasonable to expect that if that situation failed, he would immediately get involved in another one.
His errand at Barton, in fact, was a simple one. It was only to ask Elinor to marry him;—and considering that he was not altogether inexperienced in such a question, it might be strange that he should feel so uncomfortable in the present case as he really did, so much in need of encouragement and fresh air.
His task at Barton was straightforward. He just wanted to ask Elinor to marry him; and given that he wasn't entirely new to this kind of situation, it might seem odd that he felt so uneasy this time, so in need of encouragement and a breath of fresh air.
How soon he had walked himself into the proper resolution, however, how soon an opportunity of exercising it occurred, in what manner he expressed himself, and how he was received, need not be particularly[325] told. This only need be said;—that when they all sat down to table at four o'clock, about three hours after his arrival, he had secured his lady, engaged her mother's consent, and was not only in the rapturous profession of the lover, but, in the reality of reason and truth, one of the happiest of men. His situation indeed was more than commonly joyful. He had more than the ordinary triumph of accepted love to swell his heart, and raise his spirits. He was released without any reproach to himself, from an entanglement which had long formed his misery, from a woman whom he had long ceased to love; and elevated at once to that security with another, which he must have thought of almost with despair, as soon as he had learnt to consider it with desire. He was brought, not from doubt or suspense, but from misery to happiness; and the change was openly spoken in such a genuine, flowing, grateful cheerfulness, as his friends had never witnessed in him before.
How quickly he had come to the right decision, how soon an opportunity arose to act on it, how he expressed himself, and how he was received doesn’t need to be detailed. It’s enough to say that when they all sat down for dinner at four o'clock, about three hours after he arrived, he had won over his lady, secured her mother’s approval, and was not only joyfully professing his love but was, in reality, one of the happiest men. His situation was indeed exceptionally joyful. He experienced more than the usual joy of reciprocated love to lift his spirits. He was free of any guilt from a relationship that had long caused him pain with a woman he had long stopped loving; and suddenly, he found himself secure with someone else—something he had once thought was unattainable when he began to desire it. He moved not from doubt or uncertainty but from misery to happiness; and the transformation was evident in such genuine, flowing, thankful cheerfulness that his friends had never seen in him before.
His heart was now open to Elinor, all its weaknesses, all its errors confessed, and his first boyish attachment to Lucy treated with all the philosophic dignity of twenty-four.
His heart was now open to Elinor, admitting all its weaknesses and mistakes, and his first youthful infatuation with Lucy was viewed with all the thoughtful seriousness of being twenty-four.
"It was a foolish, idle inclination on my side," said he, "the consequence of ignorance of the world and want of employment. Had my mother given me some active profession when I was removed at eighteen from the care of Mr. Pratt, I think, nay, I am sure, it would never have happened; for though I left Longstaple with what I thought, at the time, a most unconquerable preference for his niece, yet had I then had any pursuit, any object to engage my time and keep me at a distance from her for a few months, I should very soon have outgrown the fancied attachment, especially by mixing more with the world, as in such case I must have done. But instead of having any thing to do, instead of having any profession chosen for me, or being allowed to choose any myself, I returned home to be completely idle; and for the first twelvemonth afterwards I had not even the nominal employment, which belonging to the university would have given me; for I was not entered at Oxford till I was nineteen. I had therefore nothing in the world to do, but to fancy myself in love; and as my mother did not make my home in every respect comfortable, as I had no friend, no companion in my brother, and disliked new acquaintance, it was not unnatural[326] for me to be very often at Longstaple, where I always felt myself at home, and was always sure of a welcome; and accordingly I spent the greatest part of my time there from eighteen to nineteen: Lucy appeared everything that was amiable and obliging. She was pretty too—at least I thought so then; and I had seen so little of other women, that I could make no comparisons, and see no defects. Considering everything, therefore, I hope, foolish as our engagement was, foolish as it has since in every way been proved, it was not at the time an unnatural or an inexcusable piece of folly."
"It was a foolish, idle inclination on my part," he said, "the result of being naive about the world and having nothing to do. If my mother had given me a profession when I was taken from Mr. Pratt's care at eighteen, I think, no, I’m certain, it would never have happened; because even though I left Longstaple with what I thought was an unshakeable attraction to his niece, if I had had any pursuit, anything to occupy my time and keep me away from her for a few months, I would have quickly moved past that imagined attachment, especially since I would have had to interact more with the world. But instead of having something to do, instead of having a profession chosen for me or being allowed to choose one myself, I went home to be utterly idle; and for the first year afterward, I didn't even have the minor responsibilities that being at university would have given me, since I didn’t enroll at Oxford until I was nineteen. So I had nothing to do but think I was in love; and with my mother not making home comfortable in every way, with no friend or companion in my brother, and disliking new acquaintances, it wasn’t surprising for me to be at Longstaple so often, where I always felt at home and knew I’d be welcomed. As a result, I spent most of my time there from eighteen to nineteen: Lucy seemed wonderfully kind and accommodating. She was pretty too—at least that’s what I thought back then; and since I had seen so few other women, I had no comparisons to make and noticed no flaws. So, all things considered, I hope that, as foolish as our engagement was, and as foolish as it has proven to be in every way since, it wasn't an unnatural or unjustifiable piece of folly at the time."
The change which a few hours had wrought in the minds and the happiness of the Dashwoods, was such—so great—as promised them all, the satisfaction of a sleepless night. Mrs. Dashwood, too happy to be comfortable, knew not how to love Edward, nor praise Elinor enough, how to be enough thankful for his release without wounding his delicacy, nor how at once to give them leisure for unrestrained conversation together, and yet enjoy, as she wished, the sight and society of both.
The change that just a few hours had made in the thoughts and happiness of the Dashwood family was so significant that it promised them the satisfaction of a sleepless night. Mrs. Dashwood, too happy to be at ease, was unsure how to express her love for Edward or praise Elinor enough. She didn't know how to show her gratitude for his freedom without hurting his feelings, nor how to give them time for open conversation while still enjoying the presence and company of both.
Marianne could speak her happiness only by tears. Comparisons would occur—regrets would arise;—and her joy, though sincere as her love for her sister, was of a kind to give her neither spirits nor language.
Marianne could express her happiness only through tears. She would make comparisons—regrets would surface;—and her joy, though as genuine as her love for her sister, was the kind that left her without energy or words.
But Elinor—how are her feelings to be described? From the moment of learning that Lucy was married to another, that Edward was free, to the moment of his justifying the hopes which had so instantly followed, she was every thing by turns but tranquil. But when the second moment had passed, when she found every doubt, every solicitude removed, compared her situation with what so lately it had been,—saw him honourably released from his former engagement,—saw him instantly profiting by the release, to address herself and declare an affection as tender, as constant as she had ever supposed it to be,—she was oppressed, she was overcome by her own felicity; and happily disposed as is the human mind to be easily familiarized with any change for the better, it required several hours to give sedateness to her spirits, or any degree of tranquillity to her heart.
But Elinor—how can we describe her feelings? From the moment she learned that Lucy was married to someone else, which meant that Edward was free, to the moment he confirmed the hopes that had immediately followed, she was anything but calm. But once that second moment passed, once she found that all her doubts and worries were gone, and compared her situation to how it had been not long before—seeing him honorably released from his previous engagement—seeing him quickly taking advantage of that release to approach her and express an affection as tender and constant as she had always believed it to be—she felt overwhelmed and overcome by her own happiness. And, as the human mind is inclined to adjust to any positive change, it took her several hours to find calmness in her spirits or any sense of peace in her heart.
Edward was now fixed at the cottage at least for a week;—for whatever other claims might be made on him, it was impossible that less than a week should be given[327] up to the enjoyment of Elinor's company, or suffice to say half that was to be said of the past, the present, and the future;—for though a very few hours spent in the hard labor of incessant talking will despatch more subjects than can really be in common between any two rational creatures, yet with lovers it is different. Between them no subject is finished, no communication is even made, till it has been made at least twenty times over.
Edward was now settled at the cottage for at least a week; no matter what other claims might be on him, he needed at least a week to enjoy Elinor's company, or to touch on half of what needed to be said about the past, the present, and the future. While a few hours of continuous conversation can cover more topics than any two rational people could truly have in common, it's different for lovers. For them, no topic is ever complete, and no communication feels genuine until it has been repeated at least twenty times.
Lucy's marriage, the unceasing and reasonable wonder among them all, formed of course one of the earliest discussions of the lovers;—and Elinor's particular knowledge of each party made it appear to her in every view, as one of the most extraordinary and unaccountable circumstances she had ever heard. How they could be thrown together, and by what attraction Robert could be drawn on to marry a girl, of whose beauty she had herself heard him speak without any admiration,—a girl too already engaged to his brother, and on whose account that brother had been thrown off by his family—it was beyond her comprehension to make out. To her own heart it was a delightful affair, to her imagination it was even a ridiculous one, but to her reason, her judgment, it was completely a puzzle.
Lucy's marriage, a constant and reasonable topic of discussion among them all, was naturally one of the first things the lovers talked about. Elinor's specific knowledge of each person involved made it seem to her, in every way, one of the most extraordinary and puzzling events she had ever encountered. How they could end up together, and what could possibly attract Robert to marry a girl he had spoken of without any admiration—especially since she was already engaged to his brother, which had led to that brother being cut off by his family—was beyond her understanding. To her heart, it was a delightful situation; to her imagination, it even seemed ridiculous; but to her reason and judgment, it was an absolute mystery.
Edward could only attempt an explanation by supposing, that, perhaps, at first accidentally meeting, the vanity of the one had been so worked on by the flattery of the other, as to lead by degrees to all the rest. Elinor remembered what Robert had told her in Harley Street, of his opinion of what his own mediation in his brother's affairs might have done, if applied to in time. She repeated it to Edward.
Edward could only try to explain by suggesting that, maybe, during their initial chance meeting, one person's vanity was so flattered by the other that it gradually led to everything that followed. Elinor recalled what Robert had mentioned to her in Harley Street about his thoughts on how his involvement in his brother's issues could have made a difference if it had been requested sooner. She shared this with Edward.
"That was exactly like Robert," was his immediate observation. "And that," he presently added, "might perhaps be in his head when the acquaintance between them first began. And Lucy perhaps at first might think only of procuring his good offices in my favour. Other designs might afterward arise."
"That was just like Robert," he immediately remarked. "And that,” he then added, “might have been in his mind when their friendship first started. And Lucy might have only thought about getting his support on my behalf at first. Other intentions might come up later.”
How long it had been carrying on between them, however, he was equally at a loss with herself to make out; for at Oxford, where he had remained for choice ever since his quitting London, he had had no means of hearing of her but from herself, and her letters to the very last were neither less frequent, nor less affectionate than usual. Not the smallest suspicion, therefore, had ever occurred[328] to prepare him for what followed;—and when at last it burst on him in a letter from Lucy herself, he had been for some time, he believed, half stupified between the wonder, the horror, and the joy of such a deliverance. He put the letter into Elinor's hands.
How long it had been going on between them, though, he couldn't figure out either; since his time at Oxford, where he had chosen to stay after leaving London, he had no way of hearing about her except through her. Even her letters, right up until the end, were just as frequent and affectionate as before. So, he never had the slightest suspicion to prepare him for what happened next; when it finally hit him in a letter from Lucy, he felt, for a while, completely stunned by the mix of wonder, horror, and joy at such a revelation. He handed the letter to Elinor.
"Dear Sir,
"Dear Sir,"
"Being very sure I have long lost your affections, I have thought myself at liberty to bestow my own on another, and have no doubt of being as happy with him as I once used to think I might be with you; but I scorn to accept a hand while the heart was another's. Sincerely wish you happy in your choice, and it shall not be my fault if we are not always good friends, as our near relationship now makes proper. I can safely say I owe you no ill-will, and am sure you will be too generous to do us any ill offices. Your brother has gained my affections entirely, and as we could not live without one another, we are just returned from the altar, and are now on our way to Dawlish for a few weeks, which place your dear brother has great curiosity to see, but thought I would first trouble you with these few lines, and shall always remain—
"Since I'm pretty sure I've lost your love, I've decided to give mine to someone else, and I'm confident I’ll be as happy with him as I once thought I could be with you. However, I refuse to accept a hand when my heart belongs elsewhere. I truly wish you happiness in your choice, and it won't be my fault if we can’t remain good friends, as our close relationship now requires. I can honestly say I have no hard feelings toward you and I’m sure you’ll be too kind to create any trouble for us. Your brother has completely won my heart, and since we couldn’t be apart, we just returned from our wedding and are now heading to Dawlish for a few weeks, which your dear brother is eager to see. But I wanted to take a moment to share this with you first, and I will always remain—
"Your sincere well-wisher, friend, and sister,
"Your genuine supporter, friend, and sister,
"Lucy Ferrars."
"Lucy Ferrars."
"I have burnt all your letters, and will return your picture the first opportunity. Please to destroy my scrawls—but the ring with my hair you are very welcome to keep."
"I’ve burned all your letters and will return your picture at the first chance I get. Please destroy my messages—but you’re definitely welcome to keep the ring with my hair."
Elinor read and returned it without any comment.
Elinor read it and gave it back without saying anything.
"I will not ask your opinion of it as a composition," said Edward. "For worlds would not I have had a letter of hers seen by you in former days. In a sister it is bad enough, but in a wife! how I have blushed over the pages of her writing! and I believe I may say that since the first half year of our foolish business this is the only letter I ever received from her, of which the substance made me any amends for the defect of the style."
"I won't ask what you think of it as a piece of writing," Edward said. "I wouldn't have wanted you to see a letter from her back in the day for anything. It was bad enough when she was my sister, but as my wife! I have been embarrassed reading her words! I can honestly say that since the first six months of our silly situation, this is the only letter I've received from her that actually made up for the poor writing."
"However it may have come about," said Elinor, after a pause,—"they are certainly married. And your mother has brought on herself a most appropriate punishment. The independence she settled on Robert, through resentment against you, has put it in his power to make his own choice; and she has actually been bribing one son with a thousand[329] a-year, to do the very deed which she disinherited the other for intending to do. She will hardly be less hurt, I suppose, by Robert's marrying Lucy, than she would have been by your marrying her."
"However it happened," Elinor said after a pause, "they're definitely married. And your mother has brought upon herself the perfect punishment. The independence she gave to Robert, out of resentment towards you, has allowed him to make his own choice; and she has actually been paying one son a thousand[329] a year to do the very thing she disinherited the other for wanting to do. I suppose she’ll be just as hurt by Robert marrying Lucy as she would have been by you marrying her."
"She will be more hurt by it, for Robert always was her favourite. She will be more hurt by it, and on the same principle will forgive him much sooner."
"She will be more upset about it because Robert has always been her favorite. She will be more hurt by it, and for the same reason, she will forgive him much sooner."
In what state the affair stood at present between them, Edward knew not, for no communication with any of his family had yet been attempted by him. He had quitted Oxford within four and twenty hours after Lucy's letter arrived, and with only one object before him, the nearest road to Barton, had had no leisure to form any scheme of conduct, with which that road did not hold the most intimate connection. He could do nothing till he were assured of his fate with Miss Dashwood; and by his rapidity in seeking that fate, it is to be supposed, in spite of the jealousy with which he had once thought of Colonel Brandon, in spite of the modesty with which he rated his own deserts, and the politeness with which he talked of his doubts, he did not, upon the whole, expect a very cruel reception. It was his business, however, to say that he did, and he said it very prettily. What he might say on the subject a twelvemonth after, must be referred to the imagination of husbands and wives.
Edward had no idea what the current situation was between him and Lucy, as he hadn't reached out to any of his family yet. He left Oxford just a day after receiving her letter, focused solely on getting to Barton, leaving no time to think of any plan of action except one closely tied to that route. He couldn't do anything until he knew what his future with Miss Dashwood was. Despite the jealousy he once felt toward Colonel Brandon, and despite his humble view of his own worth and polite expression of his uncertainties, it seems he didn't actually expect a very harsh response overall. However, it was expected of him to say that he did, and he expressed it quite nicely. Whatever he might say about it a year later will have to be left to the imagination of married couples.
That Lucy had certainly meant to deceive, to go off with a flourish of malice against him in her message by Thomas, was perfectly clear to Elinor; and Edward himself, now thoroughly enlightened on her character, had no scruple in believing her capable of the utmost meanness of wanton ill-nature. Though his eyes had been long opened, even before his acquaintance with Elinor began, to her ignorance and a want of liberality in some of her opinions, they had been equally imputed, by him, to her want of education; and till her last letter reached him, he had always believed her to be a well-disposed, good-hearted girl, and thoroughly attached to himself. Nothing but such a persuasion could have prevented his putting an end to an engagement, which, long before the discovery of it laid him open to his mother's anger, had been a continual source of disquiet and regret to him.
It was clear to Elinor that Lucy had definitely intended to deceive and had sent a malicious message through Thomas. Edward, now fully aware of her true character, had no doubts about her ability to act with complete meanness and spite. Although he had been aware for a while, even before he met Elinor, of Lucy's ignorance and narrow-minded views, he had always attributed those flaws to her lack of education. Until he received her last letter, he had believed she was a kind-hearted girl who genuinely cared for him. Only that belief had stopped him from ending an engagement that had caused him ongoing distress and regret long before it led to his mother’s anger.
"I thought it my duty," said he, "independent of my feelings, to give[330] her the option of continuing the engagement or not, when I was renounced by my mother, and stood to all appearance without a friend in the world to assist me. In such a situation as that, where there seemed nothing to tempt the avarice or the vanity of any living creature, how could I suppose, when she so earnestly, so warmly insisted on sharing my fate, whatever it might be, that any thing but the most disinterested affection was her inducement? And even now, I cannot comprehend on what motive she acted, or what fancied advantage it could be to her, to be fettered to a man for whom she had not the smallest regard, and who had only two thousand pounds in the world. She could not foresee that Colonel Brandon would give me a living."
"I felt it was my duty," he said, "regardless of my feelings, to give[330] her the choice of continuing the engagement or not, especially after my mother rejected me, leaving me seemingly without a friend in the world to support me. In a situation like that, where there was nothing to attract the greed or vanity of anyone, how could I believe that when she so earnestly and passionately insisted on sharing my fate, whatever it might be, that anything other than the most selfless love motivated her? Even now, I can’t figure out what drove her actions or what possible benefit it could have been for her to be tied to a man she had no affection for and who had only two thousand pounds to his name. She couldn’t have known that Colonel Brandon would provide me with a living."
"No; but she might suppose that something would occur in your favour; that your own family might in time relent. And at any rate, she lost nothing by continuing the engagement, for she has proved that it fettered neither her inclination nor her actions. The connection was certainly a respectable one, and probably gained her consideration among her friends; and, if nothing more advantageous occurred, it would be better for her to marry you than be single."
"No; but she might think that something would happen in your favor; that your family might eventually change their mind. And anyway, she wasn’t losing anything by keeping the engagement because it didn’t limit her feelings or actions. The connection was definitely a respectable one and likely earned her some respect among her friends; and if something better didn’t come along, it would be better for her to marry you than to stay single."
Edward was, of course, immediately convinced that nothing could have been more natural than Lucy's conduct, nor more self-evident than the motive of it.
Edward was, of course, instantly convinced that nothing could have been more natural than Lucy's behavior, nor more obvious than the reason behind it.
Elinor scolded him, harshly as ladies always scold the imprudence which compliments themselves, for having spent so much time with them at Norland, when he must have felt his own inconstancy.
Elinor scolded him, as women often criticize the recklessness that flatters them, for spending so much time with them at Norland, even when he must have recognized his own inconsistency.
"Your behaviour was certainly very wrong," said she; "because—to say nothing of my own conviction, our relations were all led away by it to fancy and expect what, as you were then situated, could never be."
"Your behavior was definitely very wrong," she said; "because—putting aside my own belief, our connections were all misled into imagining and expecting what, given your then situation, could never happen."
He could only plead an ignorance of his own heart, and a mistaken confidence in the force of his engagement.
He could only admit that he didn't understand his own feelings and that he was mistakenly confident in the strength of his commitment.
"I was simple enough to think, that because my faith was plighted to another, there could be no danger in my being with you; and that the consciousness of my engagement was to keep my heart as safe and sacred as my honour. I felt that I admired you, but I told myself it was only friendship; and till I began to make comparisons between yourself and Lucy, I did not know how far I was got. After that, I suppose, I was wrong in remaining so much in Sussex, and the arguments with which I reconciled myself to the[331] expediency of it, were no better than these:—The danger is my own; I am doing no injury to anybody but myself."
"I was naive enough to think that since my faith was promised to someone else, there could be no risk in being with you; and that the awareness of my engagement would keep my heart as safe and sacred as my honor. I realized I admired you, but I convinced myself it was just friendship; and until I started comparing you to Lucy, I didn't realize how far I had fallen. After that, I guess I was wrong to stay in Sussex so much, and the reasons I used to justify it were no better than this:—The danger is mine alone; I’m not hurting anyone but myself."
Elinor smiled, and shook her head.
Elinor smiled and shook her head.
Edward heard with pleasure of Colonel Brandon's being expected at the Cottage, as he really wished not only to be better acquainted with him, but to have an opportunity of convincing him that he no longer resented his giving him the living of Delaford—"Which, at present," said he, "after thanks so ungraciously delivered as mine were on the occasion, he must think I have never forgiven him for offering."
Edward was pleased to hear that Colonel Brandon was expected at the Cottage, as he genuinely wanted to get to know him better and have the chance to show that he no longer held a grudge about being given the living of Delaford. "Considering how poorly I expressed my gratitude at the time," he said, "he must think I’ve never forgiven him for making the offer."
Now he felt astonished himself that he had never yet been to the place. But so little interest had he taken in the matter, that he owed all his knowledge of the house, garden, and glebe, extent of the parish, condition of the land, and rate of the tithes, to Elinor herself, who had heard so much of it from Colonel Brandon, and heard it with so much attention, as to be entirely mistress of the subject.
Now he was surprised to realize that he had never been to the place. He had shown so little interest in it that all his knowledge about the house, garden, and fields, the size of the parish, the state of the land, and the amount of the tithes, came from Elinor herself. She had heard so much about it from Colonel Brandon and listened with such focus that she completely understood the topic.
One question after this only remained undecided, between them, one difficulty only was to be overcome. They were brought together by mutual affection, with the warmest approbation of their real friends; their intimate knowledge of each other seemed to make their happiness certain—and they only wanted something to live upon. Edward had two thousand pounds, and Elinor one, which, with Delaford living, was all that they could call their own; for it was impossible that Mrs. Dashwood should advance anything; and they were neither of them quite enough in love to think that three hundred and fifty pounds a-year would supply them with the comforts of life.
One question remained unresolved between them; just one obstacle needed to be cleared. They were brought together by mutual affection and the wholehearted support of their true friends. Their deep understanding of each other seemed to guarantee their happiness—all they needed was something to live on. Edward had two thousand pounds, and Elinor had one, which, along with the Delaford property, was all they could call their own; it was clear that Mrs. Dashwood couldn't provide any financial help, and neither of them was quite in love enough to believe that three hundred and fifty pounds a year would cover the comforts of life.
Edward was not entirely without hopes of some favourable change in his mother towards him; and on that he rested for the residue of their income. But Elinor had no such dependence; for since Edward would still be unable to marry Miss Morton, and his choosing herself had been spoken of in Mrs. Ferrars's flattering language as only a lesser evil than his choosing Lucy Steele, she feared that Robert's offence would serve no other purpose than to enrich Fanny.
Edward wasn't completely without hopes for a positive change in his mother's attitude towards him; he relied on that for the rest of their income. But Elinor had no such hope; since Edward still wouldn't be able to marry Miss Morton, and Mrs. Ferrars had referred to his choice of her as just a lesser evil than choosing Lucy Steele, she worried that Robert's mistake would only benefit Fanny.
About four days after Edward's arrival Colonel Brandon appeared, to complete Mrs. Dashwood's satisfaction, and to give her the dignity of having, for the first time since her living at Barton, more company[332] with her than her house would hold. Edward was allowed to retain the privilege of first comer, and Colonel Brandon therefore walked every night to his old quarters at the Park; from whence he usually returned in the morning, early enough to interrupt the lovers' first tête-à-tête before breakfast.
About four days after Edward arrived, Colonel Brandon showed up, much to Mrs. Dashwood's delight, giving her the honor of having, for the first time since moving to Barton, more guests than her house could accommodate[332]. Edward kept the advantage of being the first visitor, so Colonel Brandon walked back to his usual spot at the Park every night; he usually came back in the morning just in time to break up the couple's first private conversation before breakfast.
A three weeks' residence at Delaford, where, in his evening hours at least, he had little to do but to calculate the disproportion between thirty-six and seventeen, brought him to Barton in a temper of mind which needed all the improvement in Marianne's looks, all the kindness of her welcome, and all the encouragement of her mother's language, to make it cheerful. Among such friends, however, and such flattery, he did revive. No rumour of Lucy's marriage had yet reached him:—he knew nothing of what had passed; and the first hours of his visit were consequently spent in hearing and in wondering. Every thing was explained to him by Mrs. Dashwood, and he found fresh reason to rejoice in what he had done for Mr. Ferrars, since eventually it promoted the interest of Elinor.
A three-week stay at Delaford, where he had little to do in the evenings but think about the gap between thirty-six and seventeen, brought him to Barton in a mood that needed all of Marianne's improved looks, all the warmth of her welcome, and all the support of her mother's words to lift it. However, among such friends and such compliments, he did perk up. No news of Lucy's marriage had reached him yet; he was unaware of what had happened, so the first hours of his visit were spent listening and wondering. Mrs. Dashwood explained everything to him, and he found new reasons to be glad about what he had done for Mr. Ferrars, since it ultimately benefited Elinor.
It would be needless to say, that the gentlemen advanced in the good opinion of each other, as they advanced in each other's acquaintance, for it could not be otherwise. Their resemblance in good principles and good sense, in disposition and manner of thinking, would probably have been sufficient to unite them in friendship, without any other attraction; but their being in love with two sisters, and two sisters fond of each other, made that mutual regard inevitable and immediate, which might otherwise have waited the effect of time and judgment.
It goes without saying that the men grew to have a higher opinion of each other as they got to know one another better, because it couldn’t have been any other way. Their shared good values and common sense, along with similar personalities and ways of thinking, would likely have been enough to bring them together as friends, even without any other attraction. However, their mutual love for two sisters—who also had a strong bond with each other—made their immediate connection inevitable, a bond that might have otherwise developed over time and careful consideration.
The letters from town, which a few days before would have made every nerve in Elinor's body thrill with transport, now arrived to be read with less emotion than mirth. Mrs. Jennings wrote to tell the wonderful tale, to vent her honest indignation against the jilting girl, and pour forth her compassion towards poor Mr. Edward, who, she was sure, had quite doted upon the worthless hussy, and was now, by all accounts, almost broken-hearted, at Oxford. "I do think," she continued, "nothing was ever carried on so sly; for it was but two days before Lucy called and sat a couple of hours with me. Not a soul suspected anything of the matter, not even Nancy, who, poor soul! came crying to me the day after, in a great fright[333] for fear of Mrs. Ferrars, as well as not knowing how to get to Plymouth; for Lucy it seems borrowed all her money before she went off to be married, on purpose we suppose to make a show with, and poor Nancy had not seven shillings in the world;—so I was very glad to give her five guineas to take her down to Exeter, where she thinks of staying three or four weeks with Mrs. Burgess, in hopes, as I tell her, to fall in with the Doctor again. And I must say that Lucy's crossness not to take them along with them in the chaise is worse than all. Poor Mr. Edward! I cannot get him out of my head, but you must send for him to Barton, and Miss Marianne must try to comfort him."
The letters from town, which just a few days earlier would have sent a thrill of excitement through Elinor, now arrived to be read with more amusement than emotion. Mrs. Jennings wrote to share the shocking news, express her outrage at the girl who had jilted Edward, and extend her sympathy for poor Mr. Edward, who she was certain had been infatuated with the worthless girl and was now, by all accounts, nearly heartbroken at Oxford. "I really think," she continued, "nothing was ever done so sneakily; just two days before, Lucy came over and spent a couple of hours with me. Nobody suspected a thing, not even Nancy, who, poor thing! came crying to me the next day, all scared about Mrs. Ferrars, and not knowing how to get to Plymouth; it seems Lucy borrowed all her money before running off to get married, probably to make a show of it, and poor Nancy didn’t even have seven shillings to her name; so I was happy to give her five guineas to get her to Exeter, where she plans to stay for three or four weeks with Mrs. Burgess, hoping, as I tell her, to run into the Doctor again. And I must say, Lucy's rude refusal to let them take a ride with her is the worst of it all. Poor Mr. Edward! I can't stop thinking about him, but you have to invite him to Barton, and Miss Marianne should try to comfort him."
Mr. Dashwood's strains were more solemn. Mrs. Ferrars was the most unfortunate of women—poor Fanny had suffered agonies of sensibility—and he considered the existence of each, under such a blow, with grateful wonder. Robert's offence was unpardonable, but Lucy's was infinitely worse. Neither of them were ever again to be mentioned to Mrs. Ferrars; and even, if she might hereafter be induced to forgive her son, his wife should never be acknowledged as her daughter, nor be permitted to appear in her presence. The secrecy with which everything had been carried on between them, was rationally treated as enormously heightening the crime, because, had any suspicion of it occurred to the others, proper measures would have been taken to prevent the marriage; and he called on Elinor to join with him in regretting that Lucy's engagement with Edward had not rather been fulfilled, than that she should thus be the means of spreading misery farther in the family. He thus continued:—
Mr. Dashwood's feelings were more serious. Mrs. Ferrars was the most unfortunate woman—poor Fanny had gone through unbearable emotional pain—and he thought about how each of them existed after such a shock with a sense of thankful amazement. Robert's wrongdoing was unforgivable, but Lucy's was even worse. Neither of them should ever be mentioned to Mrs. Ferrars again; and even if she might one day be persuaded to forgive her son, his wife would never be recognized as her daughter or allowed to be in her presence. The secrecy surrounding everything they did together was seen as greatly escalating the offense because if anyone else had suspected it, appropriate steps would have been taken to stop the marriage; and he urged Elinor to agree with him in wishing that Lucy's engagement to Edward had actually taken place instead of her being the cause of more sorrow within the family. He continued:—
"Mrs. Ferrars has never yet mentioned Edward's name, which does not surprise us; but, to our great astonishment, not a line has been received from him on the occasion. Perhaps, however, he is kept silent by his fear of offending, and I shall, therefore, give him a hint, by a line to Oxford, that his sister and I both think a letter of proper submission from him, addressed perhaps to Fanny, and by her shown to her mother, might not be taken amiss; for we all know the tenderness of Mrs. Ferrars's heart, and that she wishes for nothing so much as to be on good terms with her children."
"Mrs. Ferrars has never mentioned Edward's name, which doesn't surprise us; but to our great astonishment, we haven't received a single line from him regarding the matter. However, it’s possible that he's staying quiet out of fear of upsetting anyone. Therefore, I’ll drop him a hint with a note to Oxford, suggesting that both his sister and I think a properly composed letter from him, maybe addressed to Fanny and shown to her mother, wouldn’t be taken negatively. After all, we all know how tenderhearted Mrs. Ferrars is and how much she wants to be on good terms with her children."
This paragraph was of some importance to the prospects and conduct of Edward. It determined him to attempt[334] a reconciliation, though not exactly in the manner pointed out by their brother and sister.
This paragraph was significant for Edward's future and actions. It motivated him to try for a reconciliation, although not exactly in the way suggested by his brother and sister.
"A letter of proper submission!" repeated he; "would they have me beg my mother's pardon for Robert's ingratitude to her, and breach of honour to me? I can make no submission. I am grown neither humble nor penitent by what has passed. I am grown very happy; but that would not interest. I know of no submission that is proper for me to make."
"A letter of proper submission!" he repeated. "Do they want me to apologize to my mother for Robert's disrespect to her and his dishonor toward me? I can’t submit to that. I haven't become humble or remorseful about what happened. I've become very happy, but that wouldn't matter. I don’t see any submission that is appropriate for me to make."
"You may certainly ask to be forgiven," said Elinor, "because you have offended;—and I should think you might now venture so far as to profess some concern for having ever formed the engagement which drew on you your mother's anger."
"You can definitely ask for forgiveness," Elinor said, "because you've done something wrong;—and I would imagine you might now be bold enough to express some regret for ever entering into the engagement that upset your mom."
He agreed that he might.
He agreed that he might.
"And when she has forgiven you, perhaps a little humility may be convenient while acknowledging a second engagement, almost as imprudent in her eyes as the first."
"And when she has forgiven you, maybe a little humility would be wise while recognizing a second engagement, nearly as irresponsible in her eyes as the first."
He had nothing to urge against it, but still resisted the idea of a letter of proper submission; and therefore, to make it easier to him, as he declared a much greater willingness to make mean concessions by word of mouth than on paper, it was resolved that, instead of writing to Fanny, he should go to London, and personally entreat her good offices in his favour. "And if they really do interest themselves," said Marianne, in her new character of candour, "in bringing about a reconciliation, I shall think that even John and Fanny are not entirely without merit."
He had no real objections, but he still resisted the idea of writing a proper letter of submission. To make it easier for him, since he claimed he was much more willing to make small concessions in person than on paper, they decided that instead of writing to Fanny, he would go to London and personally ask for her help on his behalf. "And if they really do care," said Marianne, in her newly honest way, "about bringing about a reconciliation, I will think that even John and Fanny aren’t entirely without merit."
After a visit on Colonel Brandon's side of only three or four days, the two gentlemen quitted Barton together. They were to go immediately to Delaford, that Edward might have some personal knowledge of his future home, and assist his patron and friend in deciding on what improvements were needed to it; and from thence, after staying there a couple of nights, he was to proceed on his journey to town.
After a visit of just three or four days at Colonel Brandon's, the two gentlemen left Barton together. They were headed straight to Delaford so Edward could get to know his future home and help his patron and friend decide what improvements were necessary. After spending a couple of nights there, he was then set to continue his journey to the city.
CHAPTER L
After a proper resistance on the part of Mrs. Ferrars, just so violent and so steady as to preserve her from that reproach which she always seemed fearful of incurring, the reproach of being too amiable, Edward was admitted to her presence, and pronounced to be again her son.
After a strong refusal from Mrs. Ferrars, so intense and unwavering that it kept her from the criticism she always seemed anxious about, the criticism of being too kind, Edward was allowed to see her again and was declared to be her son once more.
Her family had of late been exceedingly fluctuating. For many years of her life she had had two sons; but the crime and annihilation of Edward a few weeks ago, had robbed her of one; the similar annihilation of Robert had left her for a fortnight without any; and now, by the resuscitation of Edward, she had one again.
Her family had lately been going through a lot of ups and downs. For many years, she had two sons; but the crime and death of Edward a few weeks ago had taken one from her. Then, the similar death of Robert had left her without any for two weeks; and now, with Edward back, she had one again.
In spite of his being allowed once more to live, however, he did not feel the continuance of his existence secure, till he had revealed his present engagement; for the publication of that circumstance, he feared, might give a sudden turn to his constitution, and carry him off as rapidly as before. With apprehensive caution therefore it was revealed, and he was listened to with unexpected calmness. Mrs. Ferrars at first reasonably endeavoured to dissuade him from marrying Miss Dashwood, by every argument in her power; told him, that in Miss Morton he would have a woman of higher rank and larger fortune; and enforced the assertion, by observing that Miss Morton was the daughter of a nobleman with thirty thousand pounds, while Miss Dashwood was only the daughter of a private gentleman with no more than three; but when she found that, though perfectly admitting the truth of her representation, he was by no means inclined to be guided by it, she judged it wisest, from the experience of the past, to submit; and therefore, after such an ungracious delay as she owed to her own dignity, and as served to prevent every suspicion of good-will, she issued her decree of consent to the marriage of Edward and Elinor.
Despite being allowed to live once again, he did not feel secure in his existence until he had disclosed his current engagement; he feared that announcing it might suddenly affect his health and cause him to pass away just as quickly as before. With careful apprehension, he shared the news, and to his surprise, everyone listened with unexpected calmness. Mrs. Ferrars initially tried to persuade him not to marry Miss Dashwood, using every argument she could think of. She told him that with Miss Morton, he would have a partner of higher social status and greater wealth, stressing that Miss Morton was the daughter of a nobleman with thirty thousand pounds, while Miss Dashwood was merely the daughter of a country gentleman with only three. However, when she realized that he fully acknowledged the validity of her points but still had no intention of being swayed, she decided that, based on past experiences, it was wiser to give in. After a begrudging delay to maintain her own dignity and to avoid any hint of goodwill, she gave her official consent to the marriage of Edward and Elinor.
What she would engage to do towards augmenting their income was next to be considered; and here it plainly appeared, that though Edward was now her only son, he was by no means her eldest; for while Robert was inevitably endowed[336] with a thousand pounds a-year, not the smallest objection was made against Edward's taking orders for the sake of two hundred and fifty at the utmost; nor was anything promised either for the present or in future, beyond the ten thousand pounds, which had been given with Fanny.
What she would do to increase their income needed to be discussed next; and it quickly became clear that even though Edward was her only son now, he definitely wasn't her oldest. While Robert was guaranteed a thousand pounds a year, nobody raised any concerns about Edward pursuing a clerical position for a mere two hundred and fifty at most. Moreover, nothing was promised, either now or in the future, apart from the ten thousand pounds that had come with Fanny.
It was as much, however, as was desired, and more than was expected, by Edward and Elinor; and Mrs. Ferrars herself, by her shuffling excuses, seemed the only person surprised at her not giving more.
It was as much as Edward and Elinor wanted, and even more than they anticipated; and Mrs. Ferrars herself, with her awkward excuses, seemed to be the only one surprised that she didn't give more.
With an income quite sufficient to their wants thus secured to them, they had nothing to wait for after Edward was in possession of the living, but the readiness of the house, to which Colonel Brandon, with an eager desire for the accommodation of Elinor, was making considerable improvements; and after waiting some time for their completion, after experiencing, as usual, a thousand disappointments and delays from the unaccountable dilatoriness of the workmen, Elinor, as usual, broke through the first positive resolution of not marrying till every thing was ready, and the ceremony took place in Barton church early in the autumn.
With an income that was more than enough for their needs secured, they had nothing to wait for after Edward took over the position, except for the house to be ready. Colonel Brandon, eager to accommodate Elinor, was making significant improvements. After waiting for some time for those to be completed and dealing with the usual delays and frustrations caused by the inexplicable slowness of the workers, Elinor, as always, broke her initial firm decision to wait until everything was ready, and the wedding took place at Barton church early in the autumn.
The first month after their marriage was spent with their friend at the Mansion-house; from whence they could superintend the progress of the Parsonage, and direct every thing as they liked on the spot;—could choose papers, project shrubberies, and invent a sweep. Mrs. Jennings's prophecies, though rather jumbled together, were chiefly fulfilled; for she was able to visit Edward and his wife in their Parsonage by Michaelmas, and she found in Elinor and her husband, as she really believed, one of the happiest couples in the world. They had in fact nothing to wish for, but the marriage of Colonel Brandon and Marianne, and rather better pasturage for their cows.
The first month after their marriage was spent with their friend at the Mansion house, where they could oversee the progress of the Parsonage and manage everything as they wished on-site—they could select wallpaper, plan gardens, and design a path. Mrs. Jennings's predictions, although a bit mixed up, mostly came true; she was able to visit Edward and his wife at their Parsonage by Michaelmas, and she found Elinor and her husband to be, as she truly believed, one of the happiest couples in the world. They really had nothing to wish for except the marriage of Colonel Brandon and Marianne, along with a little better grazing for their cows.
They were visited on their first settling by almost all their relations and friends. Mrs. Ferrars came to inspect the happiness which she was almost ashamed of having authorised; and even the Dashwoods were at the expense of a journey from Sussex to do them honour.
They were visited on their first settling by almost all their relatives and friends. Mrs. Ferrars came to check on the happiness she was almost embarrassed to have permitted; and even the Dashwoods made the effort to travel from Sussex to honor them.
"I will not say that I am disappointed, my dear sister," said John, as they were walking together one morning before the gates of Delaford House, "that would be saying too much, for certainly you have been one of the most fortunate young[337] women in the world, as it is. But, I confess, it would give me great pleasure to call Colonel Brandon brother. His property here, his place, his house,—every thing is in such respectable and excellent condition! And his woods,—I have not seen such timber any where in Dorsetshire, as there is now standing in Delaford Hanger! And though, perhaps, Marianne may not seem exactly the person to attract him, yet I think it would altogether be advisable for you to have them now frequently staying with you, for as Colonel Brandon seems a great deal at home, nobody can tell what may happen; for, when people are much thrown together, and see little of anybody else,—and it will always be in your power to set her off to advantage, and so forth. In short, you may as well give her a chance; You understand me."
"I won’t say that I’m disappointed, my dear sister," John said as they walked together one morning in front of the gates of Delaford House, "that would be saying too much because you’ve been one of the luckiest young[337] women in the world. But honestly, it would make me very happy to have Colonel Brandon as a brother. His property here, his estate, his house—everything is in such great condition! And the woods—I haven’t seen timber anywhere else in Dorsetshire that compares to the trees standing in Delaford Hanger! And although Marianne might not seem like the obvious choice for him, I really think it would be wise for you to have them spending time together now and then because Colonel Brandon seems very comfortable here, and you never know what could happen. When people are around each other a lot and don’t see many others, you can always help present her in the best light, and so on. In short, it’s worth giving her a chance; you know what I mean."
But though Mrs. Ferrars did come to see them, and always treated them with the make-believe of decent affection, they were never insulted by her real favour and preference. That was due to the folly of Robert, and the cunning of his wife; and it was earned by them before many months had passed away. The selfish sagacity of the latter, which had at first drawn Robert into the scrape, was the principal instrument of his deliverance from it; for her respectful humility, assiduous attentions, and endless flatteries, as soon as the smallest opening was given for their exercise, reconciled Mrs. Ferrars to his choice, and re-established him completely in her favour.
But even though Mrs. Ferrars did visit them and always acted like she cared about them, they never actually experienced her genuine affection and preference. That was because of Robert's foolishness and his wife's cunning, which they had managed to earn within just a few months. The selfish cleverness of the latter, which had initially gotten Robert into trouble, was also the key to his escape from it; her respectful humility, constant attention, and endless flattery immediately smoothed things over with Mrs. Ferrars as soon as she had the slightest chance, fully winning back her favor for him.
The whole of Lucy's behaviour in the affair, and the prosperity which crowned it, therefore, may be held forth as a most encouraging instance of what an earnest, an unceasing attention to self-interest, however its progress may be apparently obstructed, will do in securing every advantage of fortune, with no other sacrifice than that of time and conscience. When Robert first sought her acquaintance, and privately visited her in Bartlett's Buildings, it was only with the view imputed to him by his brother. He merely meant to persuade her to give up the engagement; and as there could be nothing to overcome but the affection of both, he naturally expected that one or two interviews would settle the matter. In that point, however, and that only, he erred; for though Lucy soon gave him hopes that his eloquence would convince her in time, another visit, another conversation, was always wanted to produce this conviction. Some doubts always lingered [339]in her mind when they parted, which could only be removed by another half hour's discourse with himself. His attendance was by this means secured, and the rest followed in course. Instead of talking of Edward, they came gradually to talk only of Robert,—a subject on which he had always more to say than on any other, and in which she soon betrayed an interest even equal to his own; and in short, it became speedily evident to both, that he had entirely supplanted his brother. He was proud of his conquest, proud of tricking Edward, and very proud of marrying privately without his mother's consent. What immediately followed is known. They passed some months in great happiness at Dawlish; for she had many relations and old acquaintances to cut—and he drew several plans for magnificent cottages; and from thence returning to town, procured the forgiveness of Mrs. Ferrars, by the simple expedient of asking it, which, at Lucy's instigation, was adopted. The forgiveness, at first, indeed, as was reasonable, comprehended only Robert; and Lucy, who had owed his mother no duty and therefore could have transgressed none, still remained some weeks longer unpardoned. But perseverance in humility of conduct and messages, in self-condemnation for Robert's offence, and gratitude for the unkindness she was treated with, procured her in time the haughty notice which overcame her by its graciousness, and led soon afterwards, by rapid degrees, to the highest state of affection and influence. Lucy became as necessary to Mrs. Ferrars, as either Robert or Fanny; and while Edward was never cordially forgiven for having once intended to marry her, and Elinor, though superior to her in fortune and birth, was spoken of as an intruder, she was in every thing considered, and always openly acknowledged, to be a favourite child. They settled in town, received very liberal assistance from Mrs. Ferrars, were on the best terms imaginable with the Dashwoods; and setting aside the jealousies and ill-will continually subsisting between Fanny and Lucy, in which their husbands of course took a part, as well as the frequent domestic disagreements between Robert and Lucy themselves, nothing could exceed the harmony in which they all lived together.
Lucy’s entire approach to the situation, along with the success that followed, serves as a great example of how dedicated and continuous attention to self-interest, even when progress seems blocked, can secure all the advantages of fortune with no sacrifices other than time and conscience. When Robert first tried to get to know her and visited her privately at Bartlett's Buildings, he did so only with the intention his brother attributed to him. He simply aimed to persuade her to end the engagement, expecting that the only challenge to overcome was their mutual affection, which he thought could be resolved in just one or two meetings. However, this was his only miscalculation; although Lucy quickly gave him hope that he could win her over in time, he always needed another visit and another conversation to solidify that conviction. There were always lingering doubts in her mind when they parted that could only be cleared up by another half-hour dialogue with him. This ensured his continued attendance, and things naturally progressed from there. Instead of discussing Edward, they began to focus solely on Robert—a topic on which he always had more to say than on anything else, and Lucy soon showed an interest that matched his own; it quickly became clear to both of them that he had completely replaced his brother. He felt proud of his victory, proud of outsmarting Edward, and very proud of marrying quietly without his mother’s approval. What came next is well-known. They spent several months in great happiness at Dawlish, as she had many family members and old friends to distance herself from, while he made several plans for magnificent cottages. After returning to town, he secured Mrs. Ferrars’ forgiveness by simply asking for it, an approach recommended by Lucy. Initially, the forgiveness only extended to Robert, which was only reasonable; since Lucy owed Mrs. Ferrars no duties and thus had committed no transgressions, she remained unpardoned for several more weeks. But her persistence in maintaining a humble demeanor, sending messages, self-blaming for Robert’s misdeeds, and expressing gratitude for the mistreatment she received eventually earned her haughty attention, which won her over with its graciousness, quickly leading to a strong bond of affection and influence. Lucy became as essential to Mrs. Ferrars as either Robert or Fanny; while Edward was never truly forgiven for having once intended to marry her, and Elinor, despite being superior in wealth and background, was regarded as an intruder, Lucy was considered, in every respect, a beloved child. They settled in town, received generous support from Mrs. Ferrars, and maintained an excellent relationship with the Dashwoods. Aside from the jealousy and animosity that persisted between Fanny and Lucy, which naturally involved their husbands, as well as the frequent domestic disputes between Robert and Lucy themselves, nothing could surpass the harmonious way they all coexisted.
What Edward had done to forfeit the right of eldest son, might have puzzled many people to find out; and what Robert had done to succeed to it, might have puzzled them still[340] more. It was an arrangement, however, justified in its effects, if not in its cause; for nothing ever appeared in Robert's style of living or of talking to give a suspicion of his regretting the extent of his income, as either leaving his brother too little, or bringing himself too much;—and if Edward might be judged from the ready discharge of his duties in every particular, from an increasing attachment to his wife and his home, and from the regular cheerfulness of his spirits, he might be supposed no less contented with his lot, no less free from every wish of an exchange.
What Edward did to lose the right of being the eldest son might have puzzled many to figure out, and what Robert did to take his place might have confused them even more[340]. However, the situation was justified by its outcomes, if not by its reasons; because nothing in Robert's way of living or speaking suggested that he regretted the amount of his income, as either leaving his brother with too little or giving himself too much. And if Edward could be judged by how well he performed his duties in every aspect, by his growing affection for his wife and home, and by his consistently cheerful demeanor, he could be seen as no less satisfied with his situation, no less free from any desire for a change.
Elinor's marriage divided her as little from her family as could well be contrived, without rendering the cottage at Barton entirely useless, for her mother and sisters spent much more than half their time with her. Mrs. Dashwood was acting on motives of policy as well as pleasure in the frequency of her visits at Delaford; for her wish of bringing Marianne and Colonel Brandon together was hardly less earnest, though rather more liberal than what John had expressed. It was now her darling object. Precious as was the company of her daughter to her, she desired nothing so much as to give up its constant enjoyment to her valued friend; and to see Marianne settled at the mansion-house was equally the wish of Edward and Elinor. They each felt his sorrows, and their own obligations, and Marianne, by general consent, was to be the reward of all.
Elinor's marriage did little to distance her from her family; in fact, her mother and sisters spent more than half their time with her, keeping the cottage at Barton from being completely unnecessary. Mrs. Dashwood was motivated by both strategy and joy in her frequent visits to Delaford, as she was quite earnest about bringing Marianne and Colonel Brandon together—though her intentions were more generous than those John had expressed. This had become her main goal. As much as she cherished spending time with her daughter, she wanted nothing more than to let that enjoyment go to her dear friend, and both Edward and Elinor shared the desire to see Marianne settled at the mansion-house. They each felt aware of his struggles and their own responsibilities, and by mutual agreement, Marianne was to be the reward for all their efforts.
With such a confederacy against her—with a knowledge so intimate of his goodness—with a conviction of his fond attachment to herself, which at last, though long after it was observable to everybody else—burst on her—what could she do?
With such a coalition against her—with such a deep understanding of his goodness—with a belief in his strong affection for her, which, eventually, though much later than it was evident to everyone else—hit her all at once—what was she supposed to do?
Marianne Dashwood was born to an extraordinary fate. She was born to discover the falsehood of her own opinions, and to counteract, by her conduct, her most favourite maxims. She was born to overcome an affection formed so late in life as at seventeen, and with no sentiment superior to strong esteem and lively friendship, voluntarily to give her hand to another!—and that other, a man who had suffered no less than herself under the event of a former attachment, whom, two years before, she had considered too old to be married,—and who still sought the constitutional safeguard of a flannel waistcoat!
Marianne Dashwood was destined for an extraordinary life. She was meant to realize the shortcomings of her own beliefs and to act in ways that contradicted her favorite principles. She was set to move past a love that formed so late in life at seventeen, without any feeling deeper than strong admiration and lively friendship, and to willingly offer her hand to someone else!—and that someone was a man who had endured just as much as she had due to a previous heartbreak, whom, two years earlier, she had thought was too old to marry,—and who still relied on the protective comfort of a flannel waistcoat!
But so it was. Instead of falling a sacrifice to an irresistible passion, as once she had fondly[341] flattered herself with expecting, instead of remaining even for ever with her mother, and finding her only pleasures in retirement and study, as afterwards in her more calm and sober judgment she had determined on,—she found herself at nineteen, submitting to new attachments, entering on new duties, placed in a new home, a wife, the mistress of a family, and the patroness of a village.
But that’s how it turned out. Instead of becoming a victim of an irresistible passion, as she once hoped, and instead of staying forever with her mother, finding her only joys in solitude and learning, as she later decided with a clearer mind, she found herself at nineteen, forming new attachments, taking on new responsibilities, settled in a new home as a wife, the head of a family, and the leader of a village.
Colonel Brandon was now as happy, as all those who best loved him, believed he deserved to be;—in Marianne he was consoled for every past affliction;—her regard and her society restored his mind to animation, and his spirits to cheerfulness; and that Marianne found her own happiness in forming his, was equally the persuasion and delight of each observing friend. Marianne could never love by halves; and her whole heart became, in time, as much devoted to her husband, as it had once been to Willoughby.
Colonel Brandon was now as happy as everyone who cared about him thought he should be. Marianne made up for all his past troubles; her affection and company brought him back to life and lifted his spirits. It was a joy to everyone watching that Marianne found her own happiness in making his. Marianne could never love in a half-hearted way; in time, her whole heart became just as devoted to her husband as it once had been to Willoughby.
Willoughby could not hear of her marriage without a pang; and his punishment was soon afterwards complete in the voluntary forgiveness of Mrs. Smith, who, by stating his marriage with a woman of character, as the source of her clemency, gave him reason for believing that had he behaved with honour towards Marianne, he might at once have been happy and rich. That his repentance of misconduct, which thus brought its own punishment, was sincere, need not be doubted;—nor that he long thought of Colonel Brandon with envy, and of Marianne with regret. But that he was for ever inconsolable, that he fled from society, or contracted an habitual gloom of temper, or died of a broken heart, must not be depended on—for he did neither. He lived to exert, and frequently to enjoy himself. His wife was not always out of humour, nor his home always uncomfortable; and in his breed of horses and dogs, and in sporting of every kind, he found no inconsiderable degree of domestic felicity.
Willoughby couldn't hear about her marriage without feeling a sting of pain; and his punishment was soon complete with Mrs. Smith's unexpected forgiveness, which, by mentioning his marriage to a woman of good character as the reason for her kindness, led him to believe that if he had treated Marianne with respect, he could have been both happy and wealthy. There’s no doubt that his regret over his wrong actions, which ultimately led to his own suffering, was genuine; nor that he often envied Colonel Brandon and felt sorrow for Marianne. However, the idea that he was eternally heartbroken, that he shut himself off from social life, fell into a constant state of gloom, or died from heartbreak isn’t reliable—he did none of those things. He lived on, often finding enjoyment in life. His wife wasn’t always in a bad mood, nor was his home perpetually uncomfortable; and through his passion for horses and dogs, as well as various sports, he found a significant amount of happiness at home.
For Marianne, however, in spite of his incivility in surviving her loss, he always retained that decided regard which interested him in every thing that befell her, and made her his secret standard of perfection in woman; and many a rising beauty would be slighted by him in after-days as bearing no comparison with Mrs. Brandon.
For Marianne, despite his rudeness in dealing with her loss, he always held a strong sense of regard for her that kept him interested in everything that happened to her. She became his hidden benchmark for what he considered perfection in a woman; many up-and-coming beauties would be dismissed by him later on because they just couldn’t compare to Mrs. Brandon.
Mrs. Dashwood was prudent enough to remain at the cottage, without attempting a removal to Delaford; and fortunately for Sir John and Mrs. Jennings, when Marianne was taken from them, Margaret[342] had reached an age highly suitable for dancing, and not very ineligible for being supposed to have a lover.
Mrs. Dashwood was wise enough to stay at the cottage instead of moving to Delaford; and luckily for Sir John and Mrs. Jennings, when Marianne was taken from them, Margaret[342] had grown old enough to dance and was just the right age to be thought of as having a romantic interest.
Between Barton and Delaford, there was that constant communication which strong family affection would naturally dictate;—and among the merits and the happiness of Elinor and Marianne, let it not be ranked as the least considerable, that though sisters, and living almost within sight of each other, they could live without disagreement between themselves, or producing coolness between their husbands.
Between Barton and Delaford, there was a constant exchange that strong family bonds naturally encourage;—and among the strengths and joys of Elinor and Marianne, let it not be overlooked that, despite being sisters and living almost within sight of one another, they managed to live without conflict or causing any tension between their husbands.
THE END
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