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A PAIR OF BLUE EYES
by Thomas Hardy
“A violet in the youth of primy nature,
Forward, not permanent, sweet not lasting,
The perfume and suppliance of a minute;
No more.”
“A violet in the early stages of its natural growth,
Bright, but not lasting, sweet but temporary,
The scent and beauty of a moment;
Nothing more.”
CONTENTS
PREFACE
The following chapters were written at a time when the craze for indiscriminate church-restoration had just reached the remotest nooks of western England, where the wild and tragic features of the coast had long combined in perfect harmony with the crude Gothic Art of the ecclesiastical buildings scattered along it, throwing into extraordinary discord all architectural attempts at newness there. To restore the grey carcases of a mediævalism whose spirit had fled, seemed a not less incongruous act than to set about renovating the adjoining crags themselves.
The following chapters were written at a time when the trend of random church restoration had just spread to the most remote areas of western England, where the rugged and dramatic features of the coast had long blended perfectly with the rough Gothic style of the church buildings scattered along it, creating a striking contrast with all modern architectural attempts there. Restoring the grey remains of a medieval style whose essence had vanished seemed just as out of place as trying to renovate the nearby cliffs themselves.
Hence it happened that an imaginary history of three human hearts, whose emotions were not without correspondence with these material circumstances, found in the ordinary incidents of such church-renovations a fitting frame for its presentation.
Hence it happened that an imagined history of three human hearts, whose feelings were connected to these material circumstances, found in the everyday events of such church renovations a suitable setting for its presentation.
The shore and country about “Castle Boterel” is now getting well known, and will be readily recognized. The spot is, I may add, the furthest westward of all those convenient corners wherein I have ventured to erect my theatre for these imperfect little dramas of country life and passions; and it lies near to, or no great way beyond, the vague border of the Wessex kingdom on that side, which, like the westering verge of modern American settlements, was progressive and uncertain.
The shoreline and surrounding area of “Castle Boterel” is becoming well known and will be easily recognized. This location, I should mention, is the farthest west of all the convenient spots where I’ve dared to set up my stage for these imperfect little dramas of rural life and emotions. It’s located close to, or just beyond, the vague boundary of the Wessex kingdom on that side, which, like the western edge of modern American settlements, was evolving and uncertain.
This, however, is of little importance. The place is pre-eminently (for one person at least) the region of dream and mystery. The ghostly birds, the pall-like sea, the frothy wind, the eternal soliloquy of the waters, the bloom of dark purple cast, that seems to exhale from the shoreward precipices, in themselves lend to the scene an atmosphere like the twilight of a night vision.
This, however, doesn't really matter much. For at least one person, this place is the realm of dreams and mystery. The eerie birds, the foggy sea, the restless wind, the never-ending murmur of the water, and the dark purple hue that seems to rise from the cliffs by the shore all create an atmosphere similar to the twilight of a night vision.
One enormous sea-bord cliff in particular figures in the narrative; and for some forgotten reason or other this cliff was described in the story as being without a name. Accuracy would require the statement to be that a remarkable cliff which resembles in many points the cliff of the description bears a name that no event has made famous.
One enormous seaside cliff in particular plays a significant role in the story; and for some unknown reason, this cliff is described as nameless. To be precise, it should be said that a remarkable cliff that shares many characteristics with the described one has a name that no event has made well-known.
T. H.
T.H.
March 1899
March 1899
THE PERSONS
THE PEOPLE
ELFRIDE SWANCOURT | a young Lady |
CHRISTOPHER SWANCOURT | a Clergyman |
STEPHEN SMITH | an Architect |
HENRY KNIGHT | a Reviewer and Essayist |
CHARLOTTE TROYTON | a rich Widow |
GERTRUDE JETHWAY | a poor Widow |
SPENSER HUGO LUXELLIAN | a Peer |
LADY LUXELLIAN | his Wife |
MARY AND KATE | two little Girls |
WILLIAM WORM | a dazed Factotum |
JOHN SMITH | a Master-mason |
JANE SMITH | his Wife |
MARTIN CANNISTER | a Sexton |
UNITY | a Maid-servant |
Other servants, masons, labourers, grooms, nondescripts, etc., etc.
Other servants, builders, workers, stable hands, and various others, etc., etc.
THE SCENE
Mostly on the outskirts of Lower Wessex.
THE SCENE
Mostly on the edges of Lower Wessex.
Chapter I
“A fair vestal, throned in the west”
“A beautiful virgin, seated in the west”
Elfride Swancourt was a girl whose emotions lay very near the surface. Their nature more precisely, and as modified by the creeping hours of time, was known only to those who watched the circumstances of her history.
Elfride Swancourt was a girl whose feelings were always just below the surface. The exact nature of those feelings, shaped by the passing of time, was only understood by those who paid attention to the details of her life.
Personally, she was the combination of very interesting particulars, whose rarity, however, lay in the combination itself rather than in the individual elements combined. As a matter of fact, you did not see the form and substance of her features when conversing with her; and this charming power of preventing a material study of her lineaments by an interlocutor, originated not in the cloaking effect of a well-formed manner (for her manner was childish and scarcely formed), but in the attractive crudeness of the remarks themselves. She had lived all her life in retirement—the monstrari digito of idle men had not flattered her, and at the age of nineteen or twenty she was no further on in social consciousness than an urban young lady of fifteen.
Personally, she was a mix of very interesting traits, but her rarity came from the way those traits combined rather than from any single element. In fact, you didn’t notice the details of her features when you were talking to her; this captivating ability to prevent anyone from focusing on her appearance didn’t come from a polished demeanor (because her manner was naive and barely developed), but from the appealing bluntness of her comments. She had spent her whole life in seclusion—the attention of idle men had not flattered her, and by the age of nineteen or twenty, she was no more socially aware than a city girl of fifteen.
One point in her, however, you did notice: that was her eyes. In them was seen a sublimation of all of her; it was not necessary to look further: there she lived.
One thing you did notice about her, though, was her eyes. In them, you could see everything about her; there was no need to look deeper: that’s where she truly lived.
These eyes were blue; blue as autumn distance—blue as the blue we see between the retreating mouldings of hills and woody slopes on a sunny September morning. A misty and shady blue, that had no beginning or surface, and was looked INTO rather than AT.
These eyes were blue; blue as the distant autumn sky—blue as the bright blue we see between the fading outlines of hills and wooded slopes on a sunny September morning. A hazy and shadowy blue, with no clear edge or surface, that you looked INTO rather than AT.
As to her presence, it was not powerful; it was weak. Some women can make their personality pervade the atmosphere of a whole banqueting hall; Elfride’s was no more pervasive than that of a kitten.
As for her presence, it was not strong; it was weak. Some women can fill an entire banquet hall with their personality; Elfride's was no more noticeable than that of a kitten.
Elfride had as her own the thoughtfulness which appears in the face of the Madonna della Sedia, without its rapture: the warmth and spirit of the type of woman’s feature most common to the beauties—mortal and immortal—of Rubens, without their insistent fleshiness. The characteristic expression of the female faces of Correggio—that of the yearning human thoughts that lie too deep for tears—was hers sometimes, but seldom under ordinary conditions.
Elfride had a thoughtful look reminiscent of the Madonna della Sedia, but without its deep emotion: she had the warmth and spirit typical of the beautiful women—both mortal and immortal—painted by Rubens, but without their heavy fleshiness. Sometimes she displayed the characteristic expression found in Correggio's female faces—reflecting deep human thoughts that are beyond tears—but this was rare in everyday situations.
The point in Elfride Swancourt’s life at which a deeper current may be said to have permanently set in, was one winter afternoon when she found herself standing, in the character of hostess, face to face with a man she had never seen before—moreover, looking at him with a Miranda-like curiosity and interest that she had never yet bestowed on a mortal.
The moment in Elfride Swancourt's life when a deeper change began was one winter afternoon when she found herself hosting and facing a man she had never met before—moreover, she looked at him with a curiosity and interest like that of Miranda, something she had never felt for anyone else.
On this particular day her father, the vicar of a parish on the sea-swept outskirts of Lower Wessex, and a widower, was suffering from an attack of gout. After finishing her household supervisions Elfride became restless, and several times left the room, ascended the staircase, and knocked at her father’s chamber-door.
On this day, her father, the vicar of a parish on the windswept outskirts of Lower Wessex and a widower, was dealing with an attack of gout. After finishing her household chores, Elfride felt restless and several times left the room, climbed the staircase, and knocked on her father’s door.
“Come in!” was always answered in a hearty out-of-door voice from the inside.
“Come in!” was always met with a warm, outdoor voice from inside.
“Papa,” she said on one occasion to the fine, red-faced, handsome man of forty, who, puffing and fizzing like a bursting bottle, lay on the bed wrapped in a dressing-gown, and every now and then enunciating, in spite of himself, about one letter of some word or words that were almost oaths; “papa, will you not come downstairs this evening?” She spoke distinctly: he was rather deaf.
“Dad,” she said one time to the handsome, red-faced man of forty, who, puffing and fizzing like a shaken soda bottle, lay on the bed wrapped in a bathrobe, occasionally muttering, despite himself, about a letter of some word that was almost a curse; “Dad, will you come downstairs this evening?” She spoke clearly since he was a bit hard of hearing.
“Afraid not—eh-hh!—very much afraid I shall not, Elfride. Piph-ph-ph! I can’t bear even a handkerchief upon this deuced toe of mine, much less a stocking or slipper—piph-ph-ph! There ’tis again! No, I shan’t get up till to-morrow.”
“Sorry, Elfride, but I really can’t. Ugh! I can’t even stand a handkerchief on this annoying toe of mine, let alone a sock or slipper—ugh! There it is again! No, I won’t get up until tomorrow.”
“Then I hope this London man won’t come; for I don’t know what I should do, papa.”
“Then I hope this London guy doesn’t show up; because I have no idea what I would do, Dad.”
“Well, it would be awkward, certainly.”
“Well, it would definitely be awkward.”
“I should hardly think he would come to-day.”
“I really don’t think he’ll come today.”
“Why?”
"Why?"
“Because the wind blows so.”
"Because the wind is blowing."
“Wind! What ideas you have, Elfride! Who ever heard of wind stopping a man from doing his business? The idea of this toe of mine coming on so suddenly!...If he should come, you must send him up to me, I suppose, and then give him some food and put him to bed in some way. Dear me, what a nuisance all this is!”
“Wind! You have some wild ideas, Elfride! Who has ever heard of wind stopping a guy from getting his work done? The way this toe of mine is acting up all of a sudden!...If he does show up, I guess you’ll have to send him to me, and then give him some food and figure out a way to get him settled for the night. Goodness, what a hassle all this is!”
“Must he have dinner?”
"Does he have to eat?"
“Too heavy for a tired man at the end of a tedious journey.”
“Too heavy for a exhausted guy at the end of a long trip.”
“Tea, then?”
"How about some tea?"
“Not substantial enough.”
"Not significant enough."
“High tea, then? There is cold fowl, rabbit-pie, some pasties, and things of that kind.”
“High tea, then? We have cold chicken, rabbit pie, some pastries, and stuff like that.”
“Yes, high tea.”
"Yes, afternoon tea."
“Must I pour out his tea, papa?”
“Do I have to pour his tea, dad?”
“Of course; you are the mistress of the house.”
“Of course; you're the lady of the house.”
“What! sit there all the time with a stranger, just as if I knew him, and not anybody to introduce us?”
“What! Sit here the whole time with a stranger, as if I know him, and no one to introduce us?”
“Nonsense, child, about introducing; you know better than that. A practical professional man, tired and hungry, who has been travelling ever since daylight this morning, will hardly be inclined to talk and air courtesies to-night. He wants food and shelter, and you must see that he has it, simply because I am suddenly laid up and cannot. There is nothing so dreadful in that, I hope? You get all kinds of stuff into your head from reading so many of those novels.”
“Really, kid, about introductions; you know that’s not necessary. A practical professional man, who’s tired and hungry after traveling since early this morning, isn’t going to want to chat and exchange niceties tonight. He just needs food and a place to rest, and you need to make sure he gets it, especially since I’m suddenly unable to do so. I hope that’s not too terrible? You get all sorts of ideas from those novels you read.”
“Oh no; there is nothing dreadful in it when it becomes plainly a case of necessity like this. But, you see, you are always there when people come to dinner, even if we know them; and this is some strange London man of the world, who will think it odd, perhaps.”
“Oh no; there’s nothing terrible about it when it’s clearly a matter of necessity like this. But, you see, you’re always around when people come for dinner, even if we know them; and this is some strange London guy, who might think it’s odd, perhaps.”
“Very well; let him.”
"Alright; let him."
“Is he Mr. Hewby’s partner?”
“Is he Mr. Hewby’s partner?”
“I should scarcely think so: he may be.”
“I hardly think so: he might be.”
“How old is he, I wonder?”
“How old is he, I wonder?”
“That I cannot tell. You will find the copy of my letter to Mr. Hewby, and his answer, upon the table in the study. You may read them, and then you’ll know as much as I do about our visitor.”
“That I can't say. You’ll find the copy of my letter to Mr. Hewby and his reply on the table in the study. You can read them, and then you’ll know as much as I do about our visitor.”
“I have read them.”
"I've read them."
“Well, what’s the use of asking questions, then? They contain all I know. Ugh-h-h!...Od plague you, you young scamp! don’t put anything there! I can’t bear the weight of a fly.”
“Well, what's the point of asking questions, then? They include everything I know. Ugh-h-h!...Damn you, you young troublemaker! Don’t put anything there! I can't handle the weight of a fly.”
“Oh, I am sorry, papa. I forgot; I thought you might be cold,” she said, hastily removing the rug she had thrown upon the feet of the sufferer; and waiting till she saw that consciousness of her offence had passed from his face, she withdrew from the room, and retired again downstairs.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Dad. I forgot; I thought you might be cold,” she said, quickly taking away the blanket she had placed over the feet of the person in pain; and once she noticed that he no longer seemed aware of her mistake, she left the room and went back downstairs.
Chapter II
“’Twas on the evening of a winter’s day.”
"It was on the evening of a winter's day."
When two or three additional hours had merged the same afternoon in evening, some moving outlines might have been observed against the sky on the summit of a wild lone hill in that district. They circumscribed two men, having at present the aspect of silhouettes, sitting in a dog-cart and pushing along in the teeth of the wind. Scarcely a solitary house or man had been visible along the whole dreary distance of open country they were traversing; and now that night had begun to fall, the faint twilight, which still gave an idea of the landscape to their observation, was enlivened by the quiet appearance of the planet Jupiter, momentarily gleaming in intenser brilliancy in front of them, and by Sirius shedding his rays in rivalry from his position over their shoulders. The only lights apparent on earth were some spots of dull red, glowing here and there upon the distant hills, which, as the driver of the vehicle gratuitously remarked to the hirer, were smouldering fires for the consumption of peat and gorse-roots, where the common was being broken up for agricultural purposes. The wind prevailed with but little abatement from its daytime boisterousness, three or four small clouds, delicate and pale, creeping along under the sky southward to the Channel.
When two or three extra hours had turned the afternoon into evening, you could see some moving shapes against the sky on top of a lonely wild hill in that area. They outlined two men who looked like silhouettes, sitting in a dog-cart and moving against the wind. Not a single house or person was visible across the whole bleak stretch of open country they were crossing; and now that night had started to set in, the dim twilight, which still allowed them to see the landscape, was brightened by the quiet presence of the planet Jupiter, briefly shining brighter in front of them, and by Sirius casting its light from behind them. The only lights visible on the ground were some dull red spots glowing here and there on the distant hills, which the driver casually mentioned to the passenger were smoldering fires for burning peat and gorse roots, as the common land was being cleared for farming. The wind carried on with little less intensity than during the day, while three or four small, delicate pale clouds drifted southward toward the Channel.
Fourteen of the sixteen miles intervening between the railway terminus and the end of their journey had been gone over, when they began to pass along the brink of a valley some miles in extent, wherein the wintry skeletons of a more luxuriant vegetation than had hitherto surrounded them proclaimed an increased richness of soil, which showed signs of far more careful enclosure and management than had any slopes they had yet passed. A little farther, and an opening in the elms stretching up from this fertile valley revealed a mansion.
Fourteen of the sixteen miles between the train station and their destination had been covered when they started to walk along the edge of a valley that stretched for miles. The winter remnants of a denser vegetation than what they had seen before indicated a richer soil, showing evidence of more careful cultivation and maintenance than any of the hills they had encountered so far. A little further on, an opening in the elms rising from this fertile valley revealed a mansion.
“That’s Endelstow House, Lord Luxellian’s,” said the driver.
“That’s Endelstow House, Lord Luxellian’s,” the driver said.
“Endelstow House, Lord Luxellian’s,” repeated the other mechanically. He then turned himself sideways, and keenly scrutinized the almost invisible house with an interest which the indistinct picture itself seemed far from adequate to create. “Yes, that’s Lord Luxellian’s,” he said yet again after a while, as he still looked in the same direction.
“Endelstow House, Lord Luxellian’s,” the other person repeated automatically. He then turned to the side and closely examined the almost hidden house with a curiosity that the vague image didn’t seem able to inspire. “Yeah, that’s Lord Luxellian’s,” he said again after a moment, still staring in the same direction.
“What, be we going there?”
"Are we going there?"
“No; Endelstow Vicarage, as I have told you.”
“No; Endelstow Vicarage, as I mentioned before.”
“I thought you m’t have altered your mind, sir, as ye have stared that way at nothing so long.”
“I thought you might have changed your mind, sir, since you’ve been staring that way at nothing for so long.”
“Oh no; I am interested in the house, that’s all.”
“Oh no; I’m just interested in the house, that’s all.”
“Most people be, as the saying is.”
“Most people are, as the saying goes.”
“Not in the sense that I am.”
“Not in the way that I am.”
“Oh!...Well, his family is no better than my own, ’a b’lieve.”
“Oh!...Well, his family isn’t any better than mine, I believe.”
“How is that?”
"What's that like?"
“Hedgers and ditchers by rights. But once in ancient times one of ’em, when he was at work, changed clothes with King Charles the Second, and saved the king’s life. King Charles came up to him like a common man, and said off-hand, ‘Man in the smock-frock, my name is Charles the Second, and that’s the truth on’t. Will you lend me your clothes?’ ‘I don’t mind if I do,’ said Hedger Luxellian; and they changed there and then. ‘Now mind ye,’ King Charles the Second said, like a common man, as he rode away, ‘if ever I come to the crown, you come to court, knock at the door, and say out bold, “Is King Charles the Second at home?” Tell your name, and they shall let you in, and you shall be made a lord.’ Now, that was very nice of Master Charley?”
“Hedgers and ditchers by rights. But once, a long time ago, one of them, while he was working, swapped clothes with King Charles the Second and saved the king’s life. King Charles approached him like an ordinary man and casually said, ‘Man in the smock-frock, my name is Charles the Second, and that’s the truth. Will you lend me your clothes?’ ‘I don’t mind if I do,’ replied Hedger Luxellian, and they switched right then and there. ‘Now remember,’ King Charles the Second said, in a common manner, as he rode off, ‘if I ever become king, you come to the court, knock at the door, and boldly say, “Is King Charles the Second at home?” Tell them your name, and they’ll let you in, and you’ll be made a lord.’ Now, that was really generous of Master Charley?”
“Very nice indeed.”
“Really nice.”
“Well, as the story is, the king came to the throne; and some years after that, away went Hedger Luxellian, knocked at the king’s door, and asked if King Charles the Second was in. ‘No, he isn’t,’ they said. ‘Then, is Charles the Third?’ said Hedger Luxellian. ‘Yes,’ said a young feller standing by like a common man, only he had a crown on, ‘my name is Charles the Third.’ And——”
“Well, as the story goes, the king took the throne; and a few years later, Hedger Luxellian showed up, knocked on the king’s door, and asked if King Charles the Second was there. ‘No, he isn’t,’ they replied. ‘Then, is Charles the Third?’ asked Hedger Luxellian. ‘Yes,’ said a young guy nearby, looking like an ordinary man except for the crown on his head, ‘my name is Charles the Third.’ And——”
“I really fancy that must be a mistake. I don’t recollect anything in English history about Charles the Third,” said the other in a tone of mild remonstrance.
“I really think that must be a mistake. I don’t remember anything in English history about Charles the Third,” said the other in a tone of mild protest.
“Oh, that’s right history enough, only ’twasn’t prented; he was rather a queer-tempered man, if you remember.”
“Oh, that’s enough history, but it wasn’t printed; he was quite an odd-tempered guy, if you recall.”
“Very well; go on.”
"Okay; continue."
“And, by hook or by crook, Hedger Luxellian was made a lord, and everything went on well till some time after, when he got into a most terrible row with King Charles the Fourth.
“And, by any means necessary, Hedger Luxellian became a lord, and everything went smoothly until some time later, when he got into a huge argument with King Charles the Fourth.
“I can’t stand Charles the Fourth. Upon my word, that’s too much.”
“I can't stand Charles the Fourth. Honestly, that's just too much.”
“Why? There was a George the Fourth, wasn’t there?”
“Why? There was a George IV, wasn’t there?”
“Certainly.”
"Sure."
“Well, Charleses be as common as Georges. However I’ll say no more about it....Ah, well! ’tis the funniest world ever I lived in—upon my life ’tis. Ah, that such should be!”
“Well, Charleses are as common as Georges. But I won’t say anything more about it....Ah, well! This is the funniest world I’ve ever lived in—truly it is. Ah, that it should be this way!”
The dusk had thickened into darkness while they thus conversed, and the outline and surface of the mansion gradually disappeared. The windows, which had before been as black blots on a lighter expanse of wall, became illuminated, and were transfigured to squares of light on the general dark body of the night landscape as it absorbed the outlines of the edifice into its gloomy monochrome.
The evening had deepened into night as they talked, and the shape and surface of the mansion slowly faded away. The windows, which were once dark spots on a lighter wall, lit up and transformed into squares of light against the overall dark backdrop of the night, which swallowed the outlines of the building into its shadowy uniformity.
Not another word was spoken for some time, and they climbed a hill, then another hill piled on the summit of the first. An additional mile of plateau followed, from which could be discerned two light-houses on the coast they were nearing, reposing on the horizon with a calm lustre of benignity. Another oasis was reached; a little dell lay like a nest at their feet, towards which the driver pulled the horse at a sharp angle, and descended a steep slope which dived under the trees like a rabbit’s burrow. They sank lower and lower.
Not another word was said for a while as they climbed up a hill, then another hill stacked on top of the first. They crossed another mile of flat land, from which they could see two lighthouses on the coast they were approaching, resting on the horizon with a gentle glow of warmth. They reached another oasis; a small hollow lay like a nest at their feet, and the driver angled the horse sharply to head down a steep slope that dove under the trees like a rabbit’s burrow. They sank lower and lower.
“Endelstow Vicarage is inside here,” continued the man with the reins. “This part about here is West Endelstow; Lord Luxellian’s is East Endelstow, and has a church to itself. Pa’son Swancourt is the pa’son of both, and bobs backward and forward. Ah, well! ’tis a funny world. ’A b’lieve there was once a quarry where this house stands. The man who built it in past time scraped all the glebe for earth to put round the vicarage, and laid out a little paradise of flowers and trees in the soil he had got together in this way, whilst the fields he scraped have been good for nothing ever since.”
“Endelstow Vicarage is right in here,” the man with the reins continued. “This area is West Endelstow; Lord Luxellian’s is East Endelstow, and it has its own church. Pastor Swancourt is the pastor of both and travels back and forth. Ah, well! It’s a strange world. I believe there used to be a quarry where this house is now. The guy who built it back in the day took all the soil to use around the vicarage and created a little paradise of flowers and trees from the dirt he gathered, while the fields he scraped have been useless ever since.”
“How long has the present incumbent been here?”
“How long has the current holder of the position been here?”
“Maybe about a year, or a year and half: ’tisn’t two years; for they don’t scandalize him yet; and, as a rule, a parish begins to scandalize the pa’son at the end of two years among ’em familiar. But he’s a very nice party. Ay, Pa’son Swancourt knows me pretty well from often driving over; and I know Pa’son Swancourt.”
“Maybe about a year, or a year and a half; it’s not two years yet, because they don’t talk behind his back. Usually, a parish starts gossiping about the vicar after they’ve been around for two years. But he’s a really nice guy. Yeah, Vicar Swancourt knows me pretty well since I drive over often, and I know Vicar Swancourt.”
They emerged from the bower, swept round in a curve, and the chimneys and gables of the vicarage became darkly visible. Not a light showed anywhere. They alighted; the man felt his way into the porch, and rang the bell.
They came out from the shelter, turned in a curve, and the chimneys and gables of the vicarage became dimly visible. There wasn't a light on anywhere. They got down; the man navigated his way to the porch and rang the doorbell.
At the end of three or four minutes, spent in patient waiting without hearing any sounds of a response, the stranger advanced and repeated the call in a more decided manner. He then fancied he heard footsteps in the hall, and sundry movements of the door-knob, but nobody appeared.
At the end of three or four minutes of waiting quietly without hearing any response, the stranger moved closer and called out again more confidently. He thought he heard footsteps in the hallway and some rattling at the door, but no one showed up.
“Perhaps they beant at home,” sighed the driver. “And I promised myself a bit of supper in Pa’son Swancourt’s kitchen. Sich lovely mate-pize and figged keakes, and cider, and drops o’ cordial that they do keep here!”
“Maybe they’re back home,” sighed the driver. “And I promised myself a little supper in Pastor Swancourt’s kitchen. Such lovely meat pies and fig cakes, and cider, and sweet drinks they keep here!”
“All right, naibours! Be ye rich men or be ye poor men, that ye must needs come to the world’s end at this time o’ night?” exclaimed a voice at this instant; and, turning their heads, they saw a rickety individual shambling round from the back door with a horn lantern dangling from his hand.
“All right, neighbors! Whether you're rich or poor, why do you all have to be at the world's end at this time of night?” yelled a voice at that moment; and, turning their heads, they saw a scruffy person shuffling out from the back door with a horn lantern hanging from his hand.
“Time o’ night, ’a b’lieve! and the clock only gone seven of ’em. Show a light, and let us in, William Worm.”
“Time of night, I believe! and the clock has just struck seven. Turn on a light and let us in, William Worm.”
“Oh, that you, Robert Lickpan?”
“Oh, is that you, Robert Lickpan?”
“Nobody else, William Worm.”
"Nobody else, Will Worm."
“And is the visiting man a-come?”
"Is the visitor here?"
“Yes,” said the stranger. “Is Mr. Swancourt at home?”
“Yes,” said the stranger. “Is Mr. Swancourt home?”
“That ’a is, sir. And would ye mind coming round by the back way? The front door is got stuck wi’ the wet, as he will do sometimes; and the Turk can’t open en. I know I am only a poor wambling man that “ill never pay the Lord for my making, sir; but I can show the way in, sir.”
"That's it, sir. Would you mind coming around the back? The front door is stuck from the rain, as it sometimes gets, and the guy can't open it. I know I'm just a poor wandering man who will never repay the Lord for my existence, sir; but I can show you the way in, sir."
The new arrival followed his guide through a little door in a wall, and then promenaded a scullery and a kitchen, along which he passed with eyes rigidly fixed in advance, an inbred horror of prying forbidding him to gaze around apartments that formed the back side of the household tapestry. Entering the hall, he was about to be shown to his room, when from the inner lobby of the front entrance, whither she had gone to learn the cause of the delay, sailed forth the form of Elfride. Her start of amazement at the sight of the visitor coming forth from under the stairs proved that she had not been expecting this surprising flank movement, which had been originated entirely by the ingenuity of William Worm.
The newcomer followed his guide through a small door in the wall and then walked through a pantry and a kitchen, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead. An ingrained fear of prying made him avoid looking around at the rooms that were behind the main house. When he entered the hall, he was about to be taken to his room when Elfride appeared from the inner lobby of the front entrance, where she had gone to find out what was causing the delay. Her expression of surprise upon seeing the visitor coming out from under the stairs showed that she hadn’t expected this unexpected appearance, which was entirely due to William Worm's cleverness.
She appeared in the prettiest of all feminine guises, that is to say, in demi-toilette, with plenty of loose curly hair tumbling down about her shoulders. An expression of uneasiness pervaded her countenance; and altogether she scarcely appeared woman enough for the situation. The visitor removed his hat, and the first words were spoken; Elfride prelusively looking with a deal of interest, not unmixed with surprise, at the person towards whom she was to do the duties of hospitality.
She showed up in the prettiest feminine outfit, that is to say, in a casual yet stylish look, with lots of loose, curly hair cascading down her shoulders. Her face wore an expression of unease, and overall, she didn’t seem quite confident enough for the occasion. The visitor took off his hat, and then the first words were exchanged; Elfride glanced with great interest, mixed with surprise, at the person she was supposed to be welcoming.
“I am Mr. Smith,” said the stranger in a musical voice.
“I’m Mr. Smith,” said the stranger in a melodic voice.
“I am Miss Swancourt,” said Elfride.
“I’m Miss Swancourt,” Elfride said.
Her constraint was over. The great contrast between the reality she beheld before her, and the dark, taciturn, sharp, elderly man of business who had lurked in her imagination—a man with clothes smelling of city smoke, skin sallow from want of sun, and talk flavoured with epigram—was such a relief to her that Elfride smiled, almost laughed, in the new-comer’s face.
Her restriction was lifted. The stark difference between the reality she saw in front of her and the grim, reserved, sharp elderly businessman who had lingered in her mind—a man whose clothes reeked of city smoke, whose skin was pale from a lack of sun, and whose conversation was laced with witty remarks—was such a relief to her that Elfride smiled, almost laughed, at the newcomer’s face.
Stephen Smith, who has hitherto been hidden from us by the darkness, was at this time of his life but a youth in appearance, and barely a man in years. Judging from his look, London was the last place in the world that one would have imagined to be the scene of his activities: such a face surely could not be nourished amid smoke and mud and fog and dust; such an open countenance could never even have seen anything of “the weariness, the fever, and the fret’ of Babylon the Second.
Stephen Smith, who had so far been shrouded in darkness, looked like a young man and was barely out of his teens. By his appearance, London was the last place you’d expect him to be active: a face like that couldn’t possibly thrive in the smoke, grime, fog, and dust; such an open expression wouldn’t have experienced any of the “weariness, the fever, and the fret” of Babylon the Second.
His complexion was as fine as Elfride’s own; the pink of his cheeks as delicate. His mouth as perfect as Cupid’s bow in form, and as cherry-red in colour as hers. Bright curly hair; bright sparkling blue-gray eyes; a boy’s blush and manner; neither whisker nor moustache, unless a little light-brown fur on his upper lip deserved the latter title: this composed the London professional man, the prospect of whose advent had so troubled Elfride.
His complexion was just as beautiful as Elfride's; the pink of his cheeks just as delicate. His mouth was shaped like Cupid's bow and as cherry-red as hers. He had bright curly hair, bright sparkling blue-gray eyes, and a boyish blush and demeanor; no whiskers or mustache, unless a bit of light-brown fuzz on his upper lip counted as one. This was the London professional man whose arrival had unsettled Elfride so much.
Elfride hastened to say she was sorry to tell him that Mr. Swancourt was not able to receive him that evening, and gave the reason why. Mr. Smith replied, in a voice boyish by nature and manly by art, that he was very sorry to hear this news; but that as far as his reception was concerned, it did not matter in the least.
Elfride quickly apologized and explained that Mr. Swancourt couldn't see him that evening, giving the reason why. Mr. Smith responded in a voice that was naturally youthful but purposefully strong, saying he was very sorry to hear this news; however, regarding his own visit, it didn’t matter at all.
Stephen was shown up to his room. In his absence Elfride stealthily glided into her father’s.
Stephen was shown to his room. While he was gone, Elfride quietly slipped into her father's.
“He’s come, papa. Such a young man for a business man!”
“He's here, dad. What a young guy for a businessman!”
“Oh, indeed!”
“Oh, for sure!”
“His face is—well—PRETTY; just like mine.”
“His face is—well—pretty; just like mine.”
“H’m! what next?”
"Uh! What's next?"
“Nothing; that’s all I know of him yet. It is rather nice, is it not?”
“Nothing; that’s all I know about him so far. It’s kind of nice, don’t you think?”
“Well, we shall see that when we know him better. Go down and give the poor fellow something to eat and drink, for Heaven’s sake. And when he has done eating, say I should like to have a few words with him, if he doesn’t mind coming up here.”
“Well, we’ll see about that when we get to know him better. Go downstairs and give the poor guy something to eat and drink, for heaven's sake. And when he’s done eating, tell him I’d like to chat with him for a few minutes, if he doesn’t mind coming up here.”
The young lady glided downstairs again, and whilst she awaits young Smith’s entry, the letters referring to his visit had better be given.
The young woman glided downstairs again, and while she waited for young Smith to arrive, it would be good to mention the letters regarding his visit.
1.—MR. SWANCOURT TO MR. HEWBY.
1.—Mr. Swancourt to Mr. Hewby.
“ENDELSTOW VICARAGE, Feb. 18, 18—.
“ENDELSTOW VICARAGE, Feb. 18, 18—.”
“SIR,—We are thinking of restoring the tower and aisle of the church in this parish; and Lord Luxellian, the patron of the living, has mentioned your name as that of a trustworthy architect whom it would be desirable to ask to superintend the work.
“SIR,—We are considering restoring the tower and aisle of the church in this parish; and Lord Luxellian, the patron of the living, has suggested your name as a reliable architect who would be a good choice to oversee the project.
“I am exceedingly ignorant of the necessary preliminary steps. Probably, however, the first is that (should you be, as Lord Luxellian says you are, disposed to assist us) yourself or some member of your staff come and see the building, and report thereupon for the satisfaction of parishioners and others.
“I’m really unfamiliar with the essential first steps. However, it seems that the first thing to do is for you, or someone from your team, to come and check out the building, as Lord Luxellian mentioned, and then report back for the satisfaction of the parishioners and others.”
“The spot is a very remote one: we have no railway within fourteen miles; and the nearest place for putting up at—called a town, though merely a large village—is Castle Boterel, two miles further on; so that it would be most convenient for you to stay at the vicarage—which I am glad to place at your disposal—instead of pushing on to the hotel at Castle Boterel, and coming back again in the morning.
“The location is quite isolated: we have no train station within fourteen miles; and the closest place to stay—referred to as a town, though it’s really just a large village—is Castle Boterel, two miles further along; therefore, it would be much easier for you to stay at the vicarage—which I’m happy to offer you—instead of heading to the hotel in Castle Boterel and then returning here in the morning.”
“Any day of the next week that you like to name for the visit will find us quite ready to receive you.—Yours very truly,
“Any day next week that works for you for the visit, we’ll be ready to welcome you. —Yours truly,”
CHRISTOPHER SWANCOURT. 2.—MR. HEWBY TO MR. SWANCOURT.
CHRISTOPHER SWANCOURT. 2.—MR. HEWBY TO MR. SWANCOURT.
‘PERCY PLACE, CHARING CROSS, Feb. 20, 18—.
‘PERCY PLACE, CHARING CROSS, Feb. 20, 18—.
“DEAR SIR,—Agreeably to your request of the 18th instant, I have arranged to survey and make drawings of the aisle and tower of your parish church, and of the dilapidations which have been suffered to accrue thereto, with a view to its restoration.
“DEAR SIR,—In response to your request from the 18th of this month, I have organized to survey and create drawings of the aisle and tower of your parish church, as well as the damage that has occurred, with the aim of restoring it.”
“My assistant, Mr. Stephen Smith, will leave London by the early train to-morrow morning for the purpose. Many thanks for your proposal to accommodate him. He will take advantage of your offer, and will probably reach your house at some hour of the evening. You may put every confidence in him, and may rely upon his discernment in the matter of church architecture.
“My assistant, Mr. Stephen Smith, will take the early train out of London tomorrow morning for that purpose. Thank you very much for offering to host him. He will accept your offer and will probably arrive at your place sometime in the evening. You can trust him completely, and you can count on his judgment regarding church architecture.”
“Trusting that the plans for the restoration, which I shall prepare from the details of his survey, will prove satisfactory to yourself and Lord Luxellian, I am, dear sir, yours faithfully,
“Trusting that the plans for the restoration, which I will prepare from the details of his survey, will be satisfactory to you and Lord Luxellian, I am, dear sir, yours faithfully,
WALTER HEWBY.”
WALTER HEWBY.
Chapter III
“Melodious birds sing madrigals”
"Beautiful birds sing songs"
That first repast in Endelstow Vicarage was a very agreeable one to young Stephen Smith. The table was spread, as Elfride had suggested to her father, with the materials for the heterogeneous meal called high tea—a class of refection welcome to all when away from men and towns, and particularly attractive to youthful palates. The table was prettily decked with winter flowers and leaves, amid which the eye was greeted by chops, chicken, pie, &c., and two huge pasties overhanging the sides of the dish with a cheerful aspect of abundance.
That first meal at Endelstow Vicarage was very enjoyable for young Stephen Smith. The table was set, just as Elfride had suggested to her father, with the ingredients for the mixed meal known as high tea—a kind of refreshment that everyone appreciates when away from people and cities, and especially appealing to young taste buds. The table was beautifully arranged with winter flowers and leaves, alongside which were chops, chicken, pie, etc., and two large pasties that hung over the edges of the dish, giving it a cheerful appearance of plenty.
At the end, towards the fireplace, appeared the tea-service, of old-fashioned Worcester porcelain, and behind this arose the slight form of Elfride, attempting to add matronly dignity to the movement of pouring out tea, and to have a weighty and concerned look in matters of marmalade, honey, and clotted cream. Having made her own meal before he arrived, she found to her embarrassment that there was nothing left for her to do but talk when not assisting him. She asked him if he would excuse her finishing a letter she had been writing at a side-table, and, after sitting down to it, tingled with a sense of being grossly rude. However, seeing that he noticed nothing personally wrong in her, and that he too was embarrassed when she attentively watched his cup to refill it, Elfride became better at ease; and when furthermore he accidentally kicked the leg of the table, and then nearly upset his tea-cup, just as schoolboys did, she felt herself mistress of the situation, and could talk very well. In a few minutes ingenuousness and a common term of years obliterated all recollection that they were strangers just met. Stephen began to wax eloquent on extremely slight experiences connected with his professional pursuits; and she, having no experiences to fall back upon, recounted with much animation stories that had been related to her by her father, which would have astonished him had he heard with what fidelity of action and tone they were rendered. Upon the whole, a very interesting picture of Sweet-and-Twenty was on view that evening in Mr. Swancourt’s house.
At the end, near the fireplace, there was the tea set made of old-fashioned Worcester porcelain, and behind it stood Elfride, trying to bring a sense of matronly dignity to the act of pouring tea, and to look serious and concerned about the marmalade, honey, and clotted cream. Having had her own meal before he arrived, she felt embarrassed to find that all she could do was talk when she wasn't helping him. She asked if he would mind her finishing a letter she had started at a side table, and as she sat down to write, she felt a twinge of rudeness. However, noticing that he didn't seem to find anything wrong with her and that he appeared awkward too when she focused on topping off his cup, Elfride started to relax. Then, when he accidentally kicked the table leg and almost spilled his tea like a schoolboy, she felt in control of the situation and was able to converse easily. In a few minutes, their straightforwardness and shared age made them forget they were strangers. Stephen began to talk enthusiastically about minor experiences from his job, while she, lacking her own experiences, animatedly shared stories her father had told her, which would have amazed him with how accurately she conveyed the details. Overall, it was a very interesting scene of youth on display that evening in Mr. Swancourt’s house.
Ultimately Stephen had to go upstairs and talk loud to the vicar, receiving from him between his puffs a great many apologies for calling him so unceremoniously to a stranger’s bedroom. “But,” continued Mr. Swancourt, “I felt that I wanted to say a few words to you before the morning, on the business of your visit. One’s patience gets exhausted by staying a prisoner in bed all day through a sudden freak of one’s enemy—new to me, though—for I have known very little of gout as yet. However, he’s gone to my other toe in a very mild manner, and I expect he’ll slink off altogether by the morning. I hope you have been well attended to downstairs?”
Ultimately, Stephen had to go upstairs and speak loudly to the vicar, who gave him a lot of apologies between his puffs for calling him so abruptly to a stranger’s bedroom. “But,” Mr. Swancourt continued, “I felt like I needed to say a few words to you before the morning regarding your visit. One’s patience runs out when being stuck in bed all day due to an unexpected trick from an enemy—something new to me, though—since I’ve hardly dealt with gout before. However, it has moved to my other toe in a pretty mild way, and I expect it’ll completely go away by morning. I hope you’ve been well taken care of downstairs?”
“Perfectly. And though it is unfortunate, and I am sorry to see you laid up, I beg you will not take the slightest notice of my being in the house the while.”
“Absolutely. And while it’s unfortunate, and I’m sorry to see you stuck at home, please don’t pay any attention to me being here during this time.”
“I will not. But I shall be down to-morrow. My daughter is an excellent doctor. A dose or two of her mild mixtures will fetch me round quicker than all the drug stuff in the world. Well, now about the church business. Take a seat, do. We can’t afford to stand upon ceremony in these parts as you see, and for this reason, that a civilized human being seldom stays long with us; and so we cannot waste time in approaching him, or he will be gone before we have had the pleasure of close acquaintance. This tower of ours is, as you will notice, entirely gone beyond the possibility of restoration; but the church itself is well enough. You should see some of the churches in this county. Floors rotten: ivy lining the walls.”
“I won't. But I'll be down tomorrow. My daughter is a great doctor. A couple of her mild remedies will get me feeling better faster than all the medication in the world. Now, about the church business. Please, have a seat. We can’t afford to be formal around here, as you can see, because a civilized person rarely stays with us for long; so we can't waste time getting to know him, or he’ll be gone before we get the chance to really connect. This tower of ours, as you'll notice, is completely beyond repair; but the church itself is in decent shape. You should see some of the churches in this county. The floors are rotting, and ivy is crawling up the walls.”
“Dear me!”
“OMG!”
“Oh, that’s nothing. The congregation of a neighbour of mine, whenever a storm of rain comes on during service, open their umbrellas and hold them up till the dripping ceases from the roof. Now, if you will kindly bring me those papers and letters you see lying on the table, I will show you how far we have got.”
“Oh, that’s nothing. My neighbor's congregation opens their umbrellas during a rainstorm in service and holds them up until the dripping stops from the roof. Now, if you could please bring me those papers and letters on the table, I’ll show you how far we’ve gotten.”
Stephen crossed the room to fetch them, and the vicar seemed to notice more particularly the slim figure of his visitor.
Stephen walked across the room to get them, and the vicar appeared to pay special attention to the slender shape of his guest.
“I suppose you are quite competent?” he said.
“I guess you're pretty capable?” he said.
“Quite,” said the young man, colouring slightly.
“Sure,” said the young man, slightly blushing.
“You are very young, I fancy—I should say you are not more than nineteen?”
"You look really young, I think—I’d say you’re no more than nineteen?"
I am nearly twenty-one.”
I'm almost twenty-one.
“Exactly half my age; I am forty-two.”
“Exactly half my age; I’m forty-two.”
“By the way,” said Mr. Swancourt, after some conversation, “you said your whole name was Stephen Fitzmaurice, and that your grandfather came originally from Caxbury. Since I have been speaking, it has occurred to me that I know something of you. You belong to a well-known ancient county family—not ordinary Smiths in the least.”
“By the way,” Mr. Swancourt said after a bit of chatting, “you mentioned your full name is Stephen Fitzmaurice, and that your grandfather was originally from Caxbury. As I’ve been talking, it’s come to me that I know a bit about you. You're part of a prominent, old county family—not just regular Smiths at all.”
“I don’t think we have any of their blood in our veins.”
“I don’t think we have any of their blood in our veins.”
“Nonsense! you must. Hand me the ‘Landed Gentry.’ Now, let me see. There, Stephen Fitzmaurice Smith—he lies in St. Mary’s Church, doesn’t he? Well, out of that family Sprang the Leaseworthy Smiths, and collaterally came General Sir Stephen Fitzmaurice Smith of Caxbury——”
“Nonsense! You have to. Give me the ‘Landed Gentry.’ Now, let’s see. There, Stephen Fitzmaurice Smith—he’s buried in St. Mary’s Church, right? Well, from that family came the Leaseworthy Smiths, and related to them is General Sir Stephen Fitzmaurice Smith of Caxbury——”
“Yes; I have seen his monument there,” shouted Stephen. “But there is no connection between his family and mine: there cannot be.”
“Yes; I’ve seen his monument there,” shouted Stephen. “But there’s no connection between his family and mine; there can’t be.”
“There is none, possibly, to your knowledge. But look at this, my dear sir,” said the vicar, striking his fist upon the bedpost for emphasis. “Here are you, Stephen Fitzmaurice Smith, living in London, but springing from Caxbury. Here in this book is a genealogical tree of the Stephen Fitzmaurice Smiths of Caxbury Manor. You may be only a family of professional men now—I am not inquisitive: I don’t ask questions of that kind; it is not in me to do so—but it is as plain as the nose in your face that there’s your origin! And, Mr. Smith, I congratulate you upon your blood; blue blood, sir; and, upon my life, a very desirable colour, as the world goes.”
“There’s none that you probably know of. But check this out, my dear sir,” said the vicar, hitting his fist on the bedpost for emphasis. “Here you are, Stephen Fitzmaurice Smith, living in London but hailing from Caxbury. In this book is a family tree of the Stephen Fitzmaurice Smiths of Caxbury Manor. You might just be a family of professionals now—I’m not being nosy; I don’t ask those kinds of questions; it’s just not in my nature—but it’s as clear as day that’s your heritage! And, Mr. Smith, I congratulate you on your lineage; blue blood, sir; and, honestly, a very appealing color in today’s world.”
“I wish you could congratulate me upon some more tangible quality,” said the younger man, sadly no less than modestly.
“I wish you could congratulate me on something more substantial,” said the younger man, sadly yet modestly.
“Nonsense! that will come with time. You are young: all your life is before you. Now look—see how far back in the mists of antiquity my own family of Swancourt have a root. Here, you see,” he continued, turning to the page, “is Geoffrey, the one among my ancestors who lost a barony because he would cut his joke. Ah, it’s the sort of us! But the story is too long to tell now. Ay, I’m a poor man—a poor gentleman, in fact: those I would be friends with, won’t be friends with me; those who are willing to be friends with me, I am above being friends with. Beyond dining with a neighbouring incumbent or two, and an occasional chat—sometimes dinner—with Lord Luxellian, a connection of mine, I am in absolute solitude—absolute.”
“Nonsense! That will come with time. You’re young; your whole life is ahead of you. Now look—see how far back my own family, the Swancourts, goes. Here, you see,” he said, turning to the page, “is Geoffrey, one of my ancestors who lost a barony because he couldn't resist making a joke. Ah, that’s just like us! But the story is too long to get into right now. Yes, I’m a poor man—a poor gentleman, really: the people I want to be friends with don’t want to be friends with me; and those who do want to be friends, I see myself as above them. Other than having dinner with a neighboring clergyman or two, and the occasional dinner—sometimes even a chat—with Lord Luxellian, who is a relative of mine, I’m completely alone—totally.”
“You have your studies, your books, and your—daughter.”
“You have your studies, your books, and your—daughter.”
“Oh yes, yes; and I don’t complain of poverty. Canto coram latrone. Well, Mr. Smith, don’t let me detain you any longer in a sick room. Ha! that reminds me of a story I once heard in my younger days.” Here the vicar began a series of small private laughs, and Stephen looked inquiry. “Oh, no, no! it is too bad—too bad to tell!” continued Mr. Swancourt in undertones of grim mirth. “Well, go downstairs; my daughter must do the best she can with you this evening. Ask her to sing to you—she plays and sings very nicely. Good-night; I feel as if I had known you for five or six years. I’ll ring for somebody to show you down.”
“Oh yes, yes; and I’m not complaining about being poor. Canto coram latrone. Well, Mr. Smith, I won’t keep you any longer in a sick room. Ha! That reminds me of a story I heard back in my younger days.” At this, the vicar started to chuckle quietly to himself, and Stephen looked curious. “Oh, no, no! It's too much—too much to share!” continued Mr. Swancourt in a tone of dark amusement. “Well, go downstairs; my daughter will do her best to entertain you tonight. Ask her to sing for you—she plays and sings very well. Goodnight; I feel like I've known you for five or six years. I’ll call someone to show you out.”
“Never mind,” said Stephen, “I can find the way.” And he went downstairs, thinking of the delightful freedom of manner in the remoter counties in comparison with the reserve of London.
“Forget it,” said Stephen, “I can figure it out.” And he went downstairs, thinking about the enjoyable ease of living in the more rural counties compared to the restraint of London.
“I forgot to tell you that my father was rather deaf,” said Elfride anxiously, when Stephen entered the little drawing-room.
“I forgot to mention that my dad was pretty deaf,” Elfride said anxiously when Stephen walked into the small drawing room.
“Never mind; I know all about it, and we are great friends,” the man of business replied enthusiastically. “And, Miss Swancourt, will you kindly sing to me?”
“Don't worry; I know all about it, and we're good friends,” the businessman replied enthusiastically. “And, Miss Swancourt, would you please sing for me?”
To Miss Swancourt this request seemed, what in fact it was, exceptionally point-blank; though she guessed that her father had some hand in framing it, knowing, rather to her cost, of his unceremonious way of utilizing her for the benefit of dull sojourners. At the same time, as Mr. Smith’s manner was too frank to provoke criticism, and his age too little to inspire fear, she was ready—not to say pleased—to accede. Selecting from the canterbury some old family ditties, that in years gone by had been played and sung by her mother, Elfride sat down to the pianoforte, and began, “’Twas on the evening of a winter’s day,” in a pretty contralto voice.
To Miss Swancourt, this request felt, as it really was, incredibly direct; although she suspected her father had a part in crafting it, knowing all too well his habit of using her for the sake of uninspiring visitors. At the same time, since Mr. Smith’s demeanor was too straightforward to invite judgment, and his youth too minor to instill fear, she was willing—not to say happy—to agree. Choosing some old family songs from the canterbury that her mother had played and sung in the past, Elfride sat down at the piano and started, “’Twas on the evening of a winter’s day,” with a lovely contralto voice.
“Do you like that old thing, Mr. Smith?” she said at the end.
“Do you like that old thing, Mr. Smith?” she asked in the end.
“Yes, I do much,” said Stephen—words he would have uttered, and sincerely, to anything on earth, from glee to requiem, that she might have chosen.
“Yes, I do a lot,” said Stephen—words he would have said, and honestly, to anything on earth, from joy to mourning, that she might have picked.
“You shall have a little one by De Leyre, that was given me by a young French lady who was staying at Endelstow House:
“You will have a little one from De Leyre, which was given to me by a young French woman who was staying at Endelstow House:
“‘Je l’ai planté, je l’ai vu naître,
Ce beau rosier où les oiseaux,’ &c.;
“‘I planted it, I saw it grow,
This beautiful rosebush where the birds,’ &c.;
and then I shall want to give you my own favourite for the very last, Shelley’s ‘When the lamp is shattered,’ as set to music by my poor mother. I so much like singing to anybody who really cares to hear me.”
and then I want to share my own favorite for the very end, Shelley’s ‘When the lamp is shattered,’ as performed by my late mother. I really enjoy singing for anyone who truly wants to listen to me.”
Every woman who makes a permanent impression on a man is usually recalled to his mind’s eye as she appeared in one particular scene, which seems ordained to be her special form of manifestation throughout the pages of his memory. As the patron Saint has her attitude and accessories in mediaeval illumination, so the sweetheart may be said to have hers upon the table of her true Love’s fancy, without which she is rarely introduced there except by effort; and this though she may, on further acquaintance, have been observed in many other phases which one would imagine to be far more appropriate to love’s young dream.
Every woman who leaves a lasting impression on a man is often remembered in a specific moment, which seems destined to be her unique way of appearing in his memories. Just as a patron saint is depicted with her posture and attributes in medieval art, a sweetheart has her particular representation in her true love’s imagination. Without this, she almost always requires some effort to be included, even though, upon getting to know her better, one might see her in various other ways that seem much more fitting for the romantic ideal.
Miss Elfride’s image chose the form in which she was beheld during these minutes of singing, for her permanent attitude of visitation to Stephen’s eyes during his sleeping and waking hours in after days. The profile is seen of a young woman in a pale gray silk dress with trimmings of swan’s-down, and opening up from a point in front, like a waistcoat without a shirt; the cool colour contrasting admirably with the warm bloom of her neck and face. The furthermost candle on the piano comes immediately in a line with her head, and half invisible itself, forms the accidentally frizzled hair into a nebulous haze of light, surrounding her crown like an aureola. Her hands are in their place on the keys, her lips parted, and trilling forth, in a tender diminuendo, the closing words of the sad apostrophe:
Miss Elfride’s image took the form in which she was seen during those minutes of singing, becoming the lasting vision in Stephen’s mind during his waking and sleeping hours in the days to come. You see the profile of a young woman in a pale gray silk dress with swan’s-down trim, which opens up from a point in front, resembling a waistcoat without a shirt; the cool color contrasts beautifully with the warm glow of her neck and face. The furthest candle on the piano lines up with her head, and half-hidden, it turns her slightly frizzy hair into a soft glow of light, framing her crown like a halo. Her hands rest on the keys, her lips slightly parted, softly singing the closing words of the sad farewell in a tender diminuendo:
“O Love, who bewailest
The frailty of all things here,
Why choose you the frailest
For your cradle, your home, and your bier!”
“O Love, who mourns
The weakness of everything here,
Why do you choose the weakest
For your cradle, your home, and your grave!”
Her head is forward a little, and her eyes directed keenly upward to the top of the page of music confronting her. Then comes a rapid look into Stephen’s face, and a still more rapid look back again to her business, her face having dropped its sadness, and acquired a certain expression of mischievous archness the while; which lingered there for some time, but was never developed into a positive smile of flirtation.
Her head is tilted slightly forward, and her eyes are focused intently upward at the top of the sheet music in front of her. Then there's a quick glance at Stephen's face, followed by an even quicker look back to her task, her face losing its sadness and taking on a playful, mischievous expression for a while; it stayed there for some time but never turned into a definite flirty smile.
Stephen suddenly shifted his position from her right hand to her left, where there was just room enough for a small ottoman to stand between the piano and the corner of the room. Into this nook he squeezed himself, and gazed wistfully up into Elfride’s face. So long and so earnestly gazed he, that her cheek deepened to a more and more crimson tint as each line was added to her song. Concluding, and pausing motionless after the last word for a minute or two, she ventured to look at him again. His features wore an expression of unutterable heaviness.
Stephen suddenly moved from her right side to her left, where there was just enough space for a small ottoman to fit between the piano and the corner of the room. He squeezed into this nook and looked longingly up into Elfride’s face. He gazed so long and earnestly that her cheek turned a deeper shade of crimson with each line she added to her song. After finishing, she stayed still for a minute or two, then dared to look at him again. His face showed an expression of overwhelming heaviness.
“You don’t hear many songs, do you, Mr. Smith, to take so much notice of these of mine?”
“You don’t listen to many songs, do you, Mr. Smith, to pay this much attention to mine?”
“Perhaps it was the means and vehicle of the song that I was noticing: I mean yourself,” he answered gently.
“Maybe it was the way the song was delivered that caught my attention: I mean you,” he replied softly.
“Now, Mr. Smith!”
"Alright, Mr. Smith!"
“It is perfectly true; I don’t hear much singing. You mistake what I am, I fancy. Because I come as a stranger to a secluded spot, you think I must needs come from a life of bustle, and know the latest movements of the day. But I don’t. My life is as quiet as yours, and more solitary; solitary as death.”
“It’s absolutely true; I don’t hear much singing. You’re misunderstanding who I am, I think. Just because I appear as a stranger in a quiet place, you assume I must come from a busy life and know all the latest trends. But I don’t. My life is as quiet as yours, and even more lonely; lonely like death.”
“The death which comes from a plethora of life? But seriously, I can quite see that you are not the least what I thought you would be before I saw you. You are not critical, or experienced, or—much to mind. That’s why I don’t mind singing airs to you that I only half know.” Finding that by this confession she had vexed him in a way she did not intend, she added naively, “I mean, Mr. Smith, that you are better, not worse, for being only young and not very experienced. You don’t think my life here so very tame and dull, I know.”
“The death that comes from having too much life? But seriously, I can see that you’re not at all what I thought you would be before I met you. You’re not critical or experienced, or—much to think about. That’s why I don’t mind singing songs to you that I only half know.” Realizing that her confession had upset him in a way she didn’t intend, she added innocently, “I mean, Mr. Smith, that you’re better, not worse, for being young and not very experienced. You don’t think my life here is so boring and dull, I know.”
“I do not, indeed,” he said with fervour. “It must be delightfully poetical, and sparkling, and fresh, and——”
“I really don’t,” he said passionately. “It must be wonderfully poetic, exciting, and refreshing, and——”
“There you go, Mr. Smith! Well, men of another kind, when I get them to be honest enough to own the truth, think just the reverse: that my life must be a dreadful bore in its normal state, though pleasant for the exceptional few days they pass here.”
“There you go, Mr. Smith! Well, people of a different sort, when I manage to get them to be honest about it, think quite the opposite: that my life must be really boring on a regular basis, even though it’s enjoyable for the few exceptional days they spend here.”
“I could live here always!” he said, and with such a tone and look of unconscious revelation that Elfride was startled to find that her harmonies had fired a small Troy, in the shape of Stephen’s heart. She said quickly:
“I could live here forever!” he said, with a tone and expression of genuine surprise that made Elfride realize her music had sparked a small flame, like a Trojan horse, in Stephen’s heart. She quickly replied:
“But you can’t live here always.”
“But you can’t always live here.”
“Oh no.” And he drew himself in with the sensitiveness of a snail.
“Oh no.” And he curled up tightly like a shy snail.
Elfride’s emotions were sudden as his in kindling, but the least of woman’s lesser infirmities—love of admiration—caused an inflammable disposition on his part, so exactly similar to her own, to appear as meritorious in him as modesty made her own seem culpable in her.
Elfride’s emotions were as sudden as his in sparking, but the most minor of women's lesser weaknesses—love of admiration—caused a fiery nature in him, making his behavior seem commendable in his eyes, while her own modesty made her feel that hers was blameworthy.
Chapter IV
“Where heaves the turf in many a mould’ring heap.”
“Where the ground rises in many a decaying pile.”
For reasons of his own, Stephen Smith was stirring a short time after dawn the next morning. From the window of his room he could see, first, two bold escarpments sloping down together like the letter V. Towards the bottom, like liquid in a funnel, appeared the sea, gray and small. On the brow of one hill, of rather greater altitude than its neighbour, stood the church which was to be the scene of his operations. The lonely edifice was black and bare, cutting up into the sky from the very tip of the hill. It had a square mouldering tower, owning neither battlement nor pinnacle, and seemed a monolithic termination, of one substance with the ridge, rather than a structure raised thereon. Round the church ran a low wall; over-topping the wall in general level was the graveyard; not as a graveyard usually is, a fragment of landscape with its due variety of chiaro-oscuro, but a mere profile against the sky, serrated with the outlines of graves and a very few memorial stones. Not a tree could exist up there: nothing but the monotonous gray-green grass.
For his own reasons, Stephen Smith was awake shortly after dawn the next morning. From his room's window, he could see two steep slopes coming together like the letter V. At the bottom, like liquid in a funnel, was the sea, gray and small. On the top of one hill, which was a bit taller than the other, stood the church that would be the focus of his plans. The lonely building was dark and bare, rising sharply into the sky from the very peak of the hill. It had a square, decaying tower that lacked battlements or pinnacles, appearing more like a natural part of the ridge than a man-made structure. Surrounding the church was a low wall; rising above that wall was the graveyard, not the typical patch of land with a mix of light and shadow, but rather just a silhouette against the sky, marked by the shapes of graves and a few memorial stones. Not a single tree could grow there—only the dull gray-green grass.
Five minutes after this casual survey was made his bedroom was empty, and its occupant had vanished quietly from the house.
Five minutes after this casual check was done, his bedroom was empty, and its occupant had quietly disappeared from the house.
At the end of two hours he was again in the room, looking warm and glowing. He now pursued the artistic details of dressing, which on his first rising had been entirely omitted. And a very blooming boy he looked, after that mysterious morning scamper. His mouth was a triumph of its class. It was the cleanly-cut, piquantly pursed-up mouth of William Pitt, as represented in the well or little known bust by Nollekens—a mouth which is in itself a young man’s fortune, if properly exercised. His round chin, where its upper part turned inward, still continued its perfect and full curve, seeming to press in to a point the bottom of his nether lip at their place of junction.
At the end of two hours, he was back in the room, looking warm and radiant. He now focused on the finer points of getting dressed, which he had completely skipped when he first got up. After that mysterious morning run, he looked like a very handsome young man. His mouth was a standout feature; it had the clean-cut, playfully pursed shape of William Pitt, as seen in the well-known or little-known bust by Nollekens—a mouth that could be a young man's ticket to success if used well. His round chin, where the upper part curved inward, still maintained its perfect and full curve, seeming to point the bottom of his lower lip at the spot where they met.
Once he murmured the name of Elfride. Ah, there she was! On the lawn in a plain dress, without hat or bonnet, running with a boy’s velocity, superadded to a girl’s lightness, after a tame rabbit she was endeavouring to capture, her strategic intonations of coaxing words alternating with desperate rushes so much out of keeping with them, that the hollowness of such expressions was but too evident to her pet, who darted and dodged in carefully timed counterpart.
Once he whispered the name Elfride. Ah, there she was! On the lawn in a simple dress, without a hat or bonnet, running with the speed of a boy, combined with a girl's lightness, after a tame rabbit she was trying to catch, her strategic soft words alternating with frantic dashes that were so out of sync with them, that the emptiness of such expressions was all too clear to her pet, who zigzagged and dodged in carefully timed response.
The scene down there was altogether different from that of the hills. A thicket of shrubs and trees enclosed the favoured spot from the wilderness without; even at this time of the year the grass was luxuriant there. No wind blew inside the protecting belt of evergreens, wasting its force upon the higher and stronger trees forming the outer margin of the grove.
The scene down there was completely different from that of the hills. A dense group of shrubs and trees surrounded the favored spot, keeping the wilderness out; even at this time of year, the grass was lush there. No wind blew within the protective ring of evergreens, spending its energy on the taller, stronger trees that made up the outer edge of the grove.
Then he heard a heavy person shuffling about in slippers, and calling “Mr. Smith!” Smith proceeded to the study, and found Mr. Swancourt. The young man expressed his gladness to see his host downstairs.
Then he heard someone heavy shuffling around in slippers, calling “Mr. Smith!” Smith made his way to the study and found Mr. Swancourt. The young man expressed his happiness to see his host downstairs.
“Oh yes; I knew I should soon be right again. I have not made the acquaintance of gout for more than two years, and it generally goes off the second night. Well, where have you been this morning? I saw you come in just now, I think!”
“Oh yes; I knew I'd be fine again soon. I haven't dealt with gout for more than two years, and it usually fades away by the second night. So, where have you been this morning? I just saw you come in!”
“Yes; I have been for a walk.”
“Yes, I went for a walk.”
“Start early?”
“Start early?”
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“Very early, I think?”
"Too soon, I think?"
“Yes, it was rather early.”
"Yeah, it was pretty early."
“Which way did you go? To the sea, I suppose. Everybody goes seaward.”
“Which way did you go? To the sea, I guess. Everyone heads that way.”
“No; I followed up the river as far as the park wall.”
“No, I continued up the river until I reached the park wall.”
“You are different from your kind. Well, I suppose such a wild place is a novelty, and so tempted you out of bed?”
“You're not like the others of your kind. I guess a wild place like this is a bit of a novelty, and that's what got you out of bed?”
“Not altogether a novelty. I like it.”
“It's not entirely new. I like it.”
The youth seemed averse to explanation.
The young person seemed uninterested in explanation.
“You must, you must; to go cock-watching the morning after a journey of fourteen or sixteen hours. But there’s no accounting for tastes, and I am glad to see that yours are no meaner. After breakfast, but not before, I shall be good for a ten miles’ walk, Master Smith.”
“You have to, you have to; to go bird-watching the morning after a trip of fourteen or sixteen hours. But everyone has their own preferences, and I'm glad to see yours aren't any worse. After breakfast, but not before, I'll be up for a ten-mile walk, Master Smith.”
Certainly there seemed nothing exaggerated in that assertion. Mr. Swancourt by daylight showed himself to be a man who, in common with the other two people under his roof, had really strong claims to be considered handsome,—handsome, that is, in the sense in which the moon is bright: the ravines and valleys which, on a close inspection, are seen to diversify its surface being left out of the argument. His face was of a tint that never deepened upon his cheeks nor lightened upon his forehead, but remained uniform throughout; the usual neutral salmon-colour of a man who feeds well—not to say too well—and does not think hard; every pore being in visible working order. His tout ensemble was that of a highly improved class of farmer, dressed up in the wrong clothes; that of a firm-standing perpendicular man, whose fall would have been backwards in direction if he had ever lost his balance.
Certainly, there was nothing exaggerated about that statement. Mr. Swancourt, in daylight, appeared to be a man who, like the other two people in his home, could genuinely be considered handsome—handsome in the way the moon is bright: ignoring the craters and valleys that, upon closer inspection, are evident on its surface. His face had a color that never darkened on his cheeks or lightened on his forehead but stayed consistent throughout; the typical neutral salmon hue of a man who eats well—not to say too well—and doesn’t think too hard; every pore visibly in good working order. His overall appearance was that of a well-off farmer, dressed in the wrong clothes; he had the stance of a solid man, whose fall would have been backward if he had ever lost his balance.
The vicar’s background was at present what a vicar’s background should be, his study. Here the consistency ends. All along the chimneypiece were ranged bottles of horse, pig, and cow medicines, and against the wall was a high table, made up of the fragments of an old oak Iychgate. Upon this stood stuffed specimens of owls, divers, and gulls, and over them bunches of wheat and barley ears, labelled with the date of the year that produced them. Some cases and shelves, more or less laden with books, the prominent titles of which were Dr. Brown’s “Notes on the Romans,” Dr. Smith’s “Notes on the Corinthians,” and Dr. Robinson’s “Notes on the Galatians, Ephesians, and Philippians,” just saved the character of the place, in spite of a girl’s doll’s-house standing above them, a marine aquarium in the window, and Elfride’s hat hanging on its corner.
The vicar’s background was just what you’d expect for a vicar, with his study acting as a reflection of that. However, the consistency ends there. Along the mantelpiece were various bottles of medicine for horses, pigs, and cows, and against the wall was a tall table made from pieces of an old oak Iychgate. On this table sat stuffed specimens of owls, divers, and gulls, with bunches of wheat and barley ears labeled with the year they were grown hanging above them. There were also some cases and shelves loaded with books, prominently featuring Dr. Brown’s “Notes on the Romans,” Dr. Smith’s “Notes on the Corinthians,” and Dr. Robinson’s “Notes on the Galatians, Ephesians, and Philippians,” which just about saved the place’s character, despite a girl’s dollhouse sitting on top of them, a marine aquarium in the window, and Elfride’s hat hanging on the corner.
“Business, business!” said Mr. Swancourt after breakfast. He began to find it necessary to act the part of a fly-wheel towards the somewhat irregular forces of his visitor.
“Business, business!” said Mr. Swancourt after breakfast. He started to feel it was essential to act as a flywheel for the somewhat unpredictable energy of his guest.
They prepared to go to the church; the vicar, on second thoughts, mounting his coal-black mare to avoid exerting his foot too much at starting. Stephen said he should want a man to assist him. “Worm!” the vicar shouted.
They got ready to go to the church; the vicar, reconsidering, got on his pitch-black mare to avoid putting too much strain on his foot from the start. Stephen said he would need a man to help him. “Worm!” the vicar shouted.
A minute or two after a voice was heard round the corner of the building, mumbling, “Ah, I used to be strong enough, but ’tis altered now! Well, there, I’m as independent as one here and there, even if they do write “squire after their names.”
A minute or two later, a voice was heard around the corner of the building, mumbling, “Ah, I used to be strong enough, but that’s changed now! Well, there, I’m as independent as anyone else here and there, even if they do put ‘squire’ after their names.”
“What’s the matter?” said the vicar, as William Worm appeared; when the remarks were repeated to him.
“What’s going on?” said the vicar, as William Worm showed up; when the comments were repeated to him.
“Worm says some very true things sometimes,” Mr. Swancourt said, turning to Stephen. “Now, as regards that word ‘esquire.’ Why, Mr. Smith, that word ‘esquire’ is gone to the dogs,—used on the letters of every jackanapes who has a black coat. Anything else, Worm?”
“Worm says some really true things sometimes,” Mr. Swancourt said, turning to Stephen. “Now, regarding that term ‘esquire.’ Well, Mr. Smith, that term ‘esquire’ has totally lost its value—it’s used by every fool who owns a black coat. Anything else, Worm?”
“Ay, the folk have begun frying again!”
“Ay, people have started frying again!”
“Dear me! I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Wow! I'm sorry to hear that.”
“Yes,” Worm said groaningly to Stephen, “I’ve got such a noise in my head that there’s no living night nor day. ’Tis just for all the world like people frying fish: fry, fry, fry, all day long in my poor head, till I don’t know whe’r I’m here or yonder. There, God A’mighty will find it out sooner or later, I hope, and relieve me.”
“Yes,” Worm said with a groan to Stephen, “I’ve got such a noise in my head that I can’t live day or night. It’s just like people frying fish: fry, fry, fry, all day long in my poor head, until I don’t know whether I’m here or there. There, God Almighty will figure it out sooner or later, I hope, and set me free.”
“Now, my deafness,” said Mr. Swancourt impressively, “is a dead silence; but William Worm’s is that of people frying fish in his head. Very remarkable, isn’t it?”
“Now, my deafness,” said Mr. Swancourt impressively, “is complete silence; but William Worm’s is like the sound of people frying fish in his head. Quite remarkable, isn’t it?”
“I can hear the frying-pan a-fizzing as naterel as life,” said Worm corroboratively.
“I can hear the frying pan sizzling just like real life,” said Worm in agreement.
“Yes, it is remarkable,” said Mr. Smith.
“Yeah, it’s impressive,” said Mr. Smith.
“Very peculiar, very peculiar,” echoed the vicar; and they all then followed the path up the hill, bounded on each side by a little stone wall, from which gleamed fragments of quartz and blood-red marbles, apparently of inestimable value, in their setting of brown alluvium. Stephen walked with the dignity of a man close to the horse’s head, Worm stumbled along a stone’s throw in the rear, and Elfride was nowhere in particular, yet everywhere; sometimes in front, sometimes behind, sometimes at the sides, hovering about the procession like a butterfly; not definitely engaged in travelling, yet somehow chiming in at points with the general progress.
“Very strange, very strange,” the vicar echoed; and they all then followed the path up the hill, lined on each side by a small stone wall, from which shone pieces of quartz and blood-red marbles, seemingly of great value, in their setting of brown soil. Stephen walked with the dignity of a man near the horse’s head, Worm stumbled along a stone's throw behind, and Elfride was nowhere specific, yet everywhere; sometimes in front, sometimes behind, sometimes at the sides, flitting around the group like a butterfly; not really focused on traveling, yet somehow fitting in with the overall movement.
The vicar explained things as he went on: “The fact is, Mr. Smith, I didn’t want this bother of church restoration at all, but it was necessary to do something in self-defence, on account of those d——dissenters: I use the word in its scriptural meaning, of course, not as an expletive.”
The vicar explained as he continued: “The truth is, Mr. Smith, I really didn’t want to deal with this church restoration at all, but it was important to take action for self-defense because of those d——dissenters: I use the term in its biblical sense, of course, not as a curse.”
“How very odd!” said Stephen, with the concern demanded of serious friendliness.
“How strange!” said Stephen, with the seriousness that true friendship requires.
“Odd? That’s nothing to how it is in the parish of Twinkley. Both the churchwardens are——; there, I won’t say what they are; and the clerk and the sexton as well.”
“Odd? That’s nothing compared to how things are in the parish of Twinkley. Both the churchwardens are——; there, I won’t say what they are; and the clerk and the sexton too.”
“How very strange!” said Stephen.
"That's so weird!" said Stephen.
“Strange? My dear sir, that’s nothing to how it is in the parish of Sinnerton. However, as to our own parish, I hope we shall make some progress soon.”
“Strange? My dear sir, that's nothing compared to how things are in the parish of Sinnerton. However, regarding our own parish, I hope we’ll make some progress soon.”
“You must trust to circumstances.”
"Trust the circumstances."
“There are no circumstances to trust to. We may as well trust in Providence if we trust at all. But here we are. A wild place, isn’t it? But I like it on such days as these.”
“There are no situations to rely on. We might as well trust in fate if we trust at all. But here we are. It’s a crazy place, isn’t it? But I like it on days like these.”
The churchyard was entered on this side by a stone stile, over which having clambered, you remained still on the wild hill, the within not being so divided from the without as to obliterate the sense of open freedom. A delightful place to be buried in, postulating that delight can accompany a man to his tomb under any circumstances. There was nothing horrible in this churchyard, in the shape of tight mounds bonded with sticks, which shout imprisonment in the ears rather than whisper rest; or trim garden-flowers, which only raise images of people in new black crape and white handkerchiefs coming to tend them; or wheel-marks, which remind us of hearses and mourning coaches; or cypress-bushes, which make a parade of sorrow; or coffin-boards and bones lying behind trees, showing that we are only leaseholders of our graves. No; nothing but long, wild, untutored grass, diversifying the forms of the mounds it covered,—themselves irregularly shaped, with no eye to effect; the impressive presence of the old mountain that all this was a part of being nowhere excluded by disguising art. Outside were similar slopes and similar grass; and then the serene impassive sea, visible to a width of half the horizon, and meeting the eye with the effect of a vast concave, like the interior of a blue vessel. Detached rocks stood upright afar, a collar of foam girding their bases, and repeating in its whiteness the plumage of a countless multitude of gulls that restlessly hovered about.
The churchyard was accessed on this side by a stone stile. After climbing over it, you remained on the wild hill, where the inside didn’t feel so separated from the outside that you lost the sense of open freedom. It was a lovely place to be buried, assuming that delight can follow a person to their grave in any situation. There was nothing scary about this churchyard. There were no tight mounds held up with sticks, which shout imprisonment rather than whisper rest; no neat garden flowers that only evoke images of people in new black mourning clothes and white handkerchiefs coming to tend them; no wheel marks that remind us of hearses and funeral coaches; no cypress bushes making a show of sorrow; no coffin boards or bones hidden behind trees, reminding us that we are merely leaseholders of our graves. No, it was just long, wild, untamed grass, shaping the mounds it covered into irregular forms with no regard for aesthetics; and the impressive presence of the old mountain that encompassed all this was not obscured by artificial beauty. Outside were similar slopes and similar grass; and then the calm, unchanging sea, visible across half the horizon, meeting the eye like the inside of a blue vessel. Isolated rocks stood tall in the distance, a ring of foam surrounding their bases, echoing in its whiteness the feathers of countless gulls that restlessly circled around.
“Now, Worm!” said Mr. Swancourt sharply; and Worm started into an attitude of attention at once to receive orders. Stephen and himself were then left in possession, and the work went on till early in the afternoon, when dinner was announced by Unity of the vicarage kitchen running up the hill without a bonnet.
“Now, Worm!” Mr. Swancourt said sharply, and Worm instantly perked up to take orders. Stephen and Mr. Swancourt were then left alone, and the work continued until early afternoon, when dinner was announced by Unity from the vicarage kitchen sprinting up the hill without a hat.
Elfride did not make her appearance inside the building till late in the afternoon, and came then by special invitation from Stephen during dinner. She looked so intensely LIVING and full of movement as she came into the old silent place, that young Smith’s world began to be lit by “the purple light” in all its definiteness. Worm was got rid of by sending him to measure the height of the tower.
Elfride didn’t show up inside the building until late in the afternoon, and she came by special invitation from Stephen during dinner. She looked so vibrantly alive and full of energy as she entered the old, quiet place that young Smith’s world started to sparkle with “the purple light” in all its clarity. They got rid of Worm by sending him to measure the height of the tower.
What could she do but come close—so close that a minute arc of her skirt touched his foot—and asked him how he was getting on with his sketches, and set herself to learn the principles of practical mensuration as applied to irregular buildings? Then she must ascend the pulpit to re-imagine for the hundredth time how it would seem to be a preacher.
What else could she do but get closer—so close that a small part of her skirt brushed against his foot—and ask him how his sketches were coming along, while also setting out to learn the basics of practical measuring as it applied to irregular buildings? Then she had to step up to the pulpit to envision for the hundredth time what it would be like to be a preacher.
Presently she leant over the front of the pulpit.
Presently, she leaned over the front of the pulpit.
“Don’t you tell papa, will you, Mr. Smith, if I tell you something?” she said with a sudden impulse to make a confidence.
“Please don’t tell Dad, okay, Mr. Smith, if I share something with you?” she said, feeling a sudden urge to confide.
“Oh no, that I won’t,” said he, staring up.
“Oh no, I won't,” he said, looking up.
“Well, I write papa’s sermons for him very often, and he preaches them better than he does his own; and then afterwards he talks to people and to me about what he said in his sermon to-day, and forgets that I wrote it for him. Isn’t it absurd?”
“Well, I often write dad’s sermons for him, and he delivers them better than his own; then afterward, he discusses what he talked about in his sermon today with people and me, completely forgetting that I wrote it for him. Isn’t that ridiculous?”
“How clever you must be!” said Stephen. “I couldn’t write a sermon for the world.”
“How clever you must be!” said Stephen. “I couldn't write a sermon to save my life.”
“Oh, it’s easy enough,” she said, descending from the pulpit and coming close to him to explain more vividly. “You do it like this. Did you ever play a game of forfeits called ‘When is it? where is it? what is it?’”
“Oh, it’s easy enough,” she said, stepping down from the pulpit and moving closer to him to explain more clearly. “You do it like this. Have you ever played a game of forfeits called ‘When is it? where is it? what is it?’”
“No, never.”
“No, not ever.”
“Ah, that’s a pity, because writing a sermon is very much like playing that game. You take the text. You think, why is it? what is it? and so on. You put that down under ‘Generally.’ Then you proceed to the First, Secondly, and Thirdly. Papa won’t have Fourthlys—says they are all my eye. Then you have a final Collectively, several pages of this being put in great black brackets, writing opposite, ‘LEAVE THIS OUT IF THE FARMERS ARE FALLING ASLEEP.’ Then comes your In Conclusion, then A Few Words And I Have Done. Well, all this time you have put on the back of each page, ‘KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN’—I mean,” she added, correcting herself, “that’s how I do in papa’s sermon-book, because otherwise he gets louder and louder, till at last he shouts like a farmer up a-field. Oh, papa is so funny in some things!”
“Ah, that’s a shame, because writing a sermon is really similar to playing that game. You start with the text. You think, why is it? what is it? and so on. You write that down under ‘Generally.’ Then you move on to First, Secondly, and Thirdly. Dad doesn’t want any Fourthlys—he says they’re all nonsense. Then you have a final Collectively, several pages of this put in big black brackets, writing next to it, ‘LEAVE THIS OUT IF THE FARMERS ARE FALLING ASLEEP.’ Then comes your In Conclusion, followed by A Few Words And I Have Done. Meanwhile, you’ve put on the back of each page, ‘KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN’—I mean,” she added, correcting herself, “that’s how I do in Dad’s sermon book, because if not, he gets louder and louder, until he’s shouting like a farmer in the field. Oh, Dad is so funny in some ways!”
Then, after this childish burst of confidence, she was frightened, as if warned by womanly instinct, which for the moment her ardour had outrun, that she had been too forward to a comparative stranger.
Then, after this youthful surge of confidence, she felt scared, as if her womanly instinct, which her excitement had temporarily overshadowed, was warning her that she had been too bold with someone she barely knew.
Elfride saw her father then, and went away into the wind, being caught by a gust as she ascended the churchyard slope, in which gust she had the motions, without the motives, of a hoiden; the grace, without the self-consciousness, of a pirouetter. She conversed for a minute or two with her father, and proceeded homeward, Mr. Swancourt coming on to the church to Stephen. The wind had freshened his warm complexion as it freshens the glow of a brand. He was in a mood of jollity, and watched Elfride down the hill with a smile.
Elfride saw her father then and walked away into the wind, caught by a gust as she climbed the churchyard slope. In that gust, she had the movements, without the intentions, of a tomboy; the grace, without the self-consciousness, of a dancer. She chatted for a minute or two with her father and then headed home, while Mr. Swancourt continued on to the church to meet Stephen. The wind had brightened his warm complexion like a glowing ember. He was in a cheerful mood and watched Elfride as she went down the hill with a smile.
“You little flyaway! you look wild enough now,” he said, and turned to Stephen. “But she’s not a wild child at all, Mr. Smith. As steady as you; and that you are steady I see from your diligence here.”
“You little flyaway! You look pretty wild now,” he said, turning to Stephen. “But she’s not a wild child at all, Mr. Smith. She’s as steady as you; and I can see from your hard work here that you are steady.”
“I think Miss Swancourt very clever,” Stephen observed.
“I think Miss Swancourt is really clever,” Stephen said.
“Yes, she is; certainly, she is,” said papa, turning his voice as much as possible to the neutral tone of disinterested criticism. “Now, Smith, I’ll tell you something; but she mustn’t know it for the world—not for the world, mind, for she insists upon keeping it a dead secret. Why, SHE WRITES MY SERMONS FOR ME OFTEN, and a very good job she makes of them!”
“Yes, she is; definitely, she is,” said dad, trying to sound as neutral as possible, like he was just offering an unbiased opinion. “Now, Smith, I’m going to tell you something, but she can’t find out—not for anything, you hear me? She insists on keeping it a complete secret. Believe it or not, SHE WRITES MY SERMONS FOR ME SOMETIMES, and she does a really great job with them!”
“She can do anything.”
"She can do anything."
“She can do that. The little rascal has the very trick of the trade. But, mind you, Smith, not a word about it to her, not a single word!”
“She can do that. The little troublemaker knows all the ins and outs. But, listen, Smith, not a word about it to her, not a single word!”
“Not a word,” said Smith.
“Not a word,” Smith said.
“Look there,” said Mr. Swancourt. “What do you think of my roofing?” He pointed with his walking-stick at the chancel roof,
“Look over there,” said Mr. Swancourt. “What do you think of my roof?” He pointed with his walking stick at the chancel roof,
“Did you do that, sir?”
“Did you do that, sir?”
“Yes, I worked in shirt-sleeves all the time that was going on. I pulled down the old rafters, fixed the new ones, put on the battens, slated the roof, all with my own hands, Worm being my assistant. We worked like slaves, didn’t we, Worm?”
“Yes, I worked in my shirt sleeves the whole time this was happening. I took down the old rafters, fixed the new ones, put on the battens, and slated the roof, all by myself, with Worm helping me. We worked like dogs, didn’t we, Worm?”
“Ay, sure, we did; harder than some here and there—hee, hee!” said William Worm, cropping up from somewhere. “Like slaves, ’a b’lieve—hee, hee! And weren’t ye foaming mad, sir, when the nails wouldn’t go straight? Mighty I! There, ’tisn’t so bad to cuss and keep it in as to cuss and let it out, is it, sir?”
“Ay, sure, we did; harder than some here and there—hee, hee!” said William Worm, popping up from somewhere. “Like slaves, I believe—hee, hee! And weren’t you furious, sir, when the nails wouldn’t go in straight? Mighty I! There, it’s not so bad to curse and keep it in as it is to curse and let it out, is it, sir?”
“Well—why?”
"Well—why though?"
“Because you, sir, when ye were a-putting on the roof, only used to cuss in your mind, which is, I suppose, no harm at all.”
“Because you, sir, when you were putting on the roof, only cursed in your mind, which I guess is no harm at all.”
“I don’t think you know what goes on in my mind, Worm.”
“I don’t think you understand what goes on in my head, Worm.”
“Oh, doan’t I, sir—hee, hee! Maybe I’m but a poor wambling thing, sir, and can’t read much; but I can spell as well as some here and there. Doan’t ye mind, sir, that blustrous night when ye asked me to hold the candle to ye in yer workshop, when you were making a new chair for the chancel?”
“Oh, don’t I, sir—hee, hee! Maybe I’m just a poor wandering thing, sir, and can’t read much; but I can spell as well as some people here and there. Don’t you remember, sir, that stormy night when you asked me to hold the candle for you in your workshop, when you were making a new chair for the chancel?”
“Yes; what of that?”
"Yeah; what about it?"
“I stood with the candle, and you said you liked company, if ’twas only a dog or cat—maning me; and the chair wouldn’t do nohow.”
“I stood with the candle, and you said you liked having company, even if it was just a dog or cat—meaning me; and the chair wouldn’t work at all.”
“Ah, I remember.”
“Ah, I remember that.”
“No; the chair wouldn’t do nohow. ’A was very well to look at; but, Lord!——”
“No; the chair wouldn’t work at all. It looked nice; but, wow!——”
“Worm, how often have I corrected you for irreverent speaking?”
“Worm, how many times have I told you not to speak disrespectfully?”
“—’A was very well to look at, but you couldn’t sit in the chair nohow. ’Twas all a-twist wi’ the chair, like the letter Z, directly you sat down upon the chair. ‘Get up, Worm,’ says you, when you seed the chair go all a-sway wi’ me. Up you took the chair, and flung en like fire and brimstone to t’other end of your shop—all in a passion. ‘Damn the chair!’ says I. ‘Just what I was thinking,’ says you, sir. ‘I could see it in your face, sir,’ says I, ‘and I hope you and God will forgi’e me for saying what you wouldn’t.’ To save your life you couldn’t help laughing, sir, at a poor wambler reading your thoughts so plain. Ay, I’m as wise as one here and there.”
“—It looked nice, but there was no way you could sit in that chair. It was all twisted like the letter Z as soon as you sat down. ‘Get up, Worm,’ you said when you saw the chair wobbling with me. You picked up the chair and threw it like it was on fire to the other end of your shop—all in a huff. ‘Damn the chair!’ I said. ‘Exactly what I was thinking,’ you replied. ‘I could see it on your face,’ I said, ‘and I hope you and God will forgive me for saying what you wouldn't.’ You couldn't help but laugh, sir, at a poor fool reading your mind so clearly. Yep, I'm just as wise as the next person.”
“I thought you had better have a practical man to go over the church and tower with you,” Mr. Swancourt said to Stephen the following morning, “so I got Lord Luxellian’s permission to send for a man when you came. I told him to be there at ten o’clock. He’s a very intelligent man, and he will tell you all you want to know about the state of the walls. His name is John Smith.”
“I thought it would be better for you to have a practical person to check out the church and tower with you,” Mr. Swancourt said to Stephen the next morning, “so I got Lord Luxellian’s permission to call someone when you arrived. I asked him to be there at ten o’clock. He’s a really smart guy, and he’ll give you all the information you need about the condition of the walls. His name is John Smith.”
Elfride did not like to be seen again at the church with Stephen. “I will watch here for your appearance at the top of the tower,” she said laughingly. “I shall see your figure against the sky.”
Elfride didn’t want to be seen at church again with Stephen. “I’ll wait here to see you at the top of the tower,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll catch a glimpse of your silhouette against the sky.”
“And when I am up there I’ll wave my handkerchief to you, Miss Swancourt,” said Stephen. “In twelve minutes from this present moment,” he added, looking at his watch, “I’ll be at the summit and look out for you.”
“And when I’m up there I’ll wave my handkerchief to you, Miss Swancourt,” said Stephen. “In twelve minutes from now,” he added, checking his watch, “I’ll be at the top and look out for you.”
She went round to the corner of the shrubbery, whence she could watch him down the slope leading to the foot of the hill on which the church stood. There she saw waiting for him a white spot—a mason in his working clothes. Stephen met this man and stopped.
She walked over to the corner of the bushes, where she could see him down the slope that led to the bottom of the hill where the church was. There, she noticed a white figure waiting for him—a mason in his work clothes. Stephen approached this man and paused.
To her surprise, instead of their moving on to the churchyard, they both leisurely sat down upon a stone close by their meeting-place, and remained as if in deep conversation. Elfride looked at the time; nine of the twelve minutes had passed, and Stephen showed no signs of moving. More minutes passed—she grew cold with waiting, and shivered. It was not till the end of a quarter of an hour that they began to slowly wend up the hill at a snail’s pace.
To her surprise, instead of heading to the churchyard, they both casually sat down on a stone near where they met and stayed there, as if caught up in a serious conversation. Elfride checked the time; nine of the twelve minutes had gone by, and Stephen didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave. More time passed—she started to feel chilly from waiting and shivered. It wasn’t until fifteen minutes had passed that they began to slowly make their way up the hill, moving at a snail’s pace.
“Rude and unmannerly!” she said to herself, colouring with pique. “Anybody would think he was in love with that horrid mason instead of with——”
“Rude and uncivil!” she said to herself, blushing with annoyance. “Anyone would think he was in love with that awful mason instead of with——”
The sentence remained unspoken, though not unthought.
The sentence was left unvoiced, even if it was felt.
She returned to the porch.
She went back to the porch.
“Is the man you sent for a lazy, sit-still, do-nothing kind of man?” she inquired of her father.
“Is the guy you sent for a lazy, couch-sitting, do-nothing type of guy?” she asked her dad.
“No,” he said surprised; “quite the reverse. He is Lord Luxellian’s master-mason, John Smith.”
“No,” he said, surprised. “It's actually the opposite. He’s Lord Luxellian’s master mason, John Smith.”
“Oh,” said Elfride indifferently, and returned towards her bleak station, and waited and shivered again. It was a trifle, after all—a childish thing—looking out from a tower and waving a handkerchief. But her new friend had promised, and why should he tease her so? The effect of a blow is as proportionate to the texture of the object struck as to its own momentum; and she had such a superlative capacity for being wounded that little hits struck her hard.
“Oh,” Elfride said casually, and turned back towards her lonely spot, waiting and shivering again. It was just a small thing, really—a silly gesture—looking out from a tower and waving a handkerchief. But her new friend had promised, so why was he teasing her like this? The impact of a blow depends on both the nature of the object being hit and its own force; and she had such a remarkable ability to be hurt that even minor jabs affected her deeply.
It was not till the end of half an hour that two figures were seen above the parapet of the dreary old pile, motionless as bitterns on a ruined mosque. Even then Stephen was not true enough to perform what he was so courteous to promise, and he vanished without making a sign.
It wasn't until half an hour later that two figures appeared above the parapet of the gloomy old building, as still as bitterns on a crumbling mosque. Even then, Stephen didn't quite live up to what he politely promised, and he disappeared without making a sound.
He returned at midday. Elfride looked vexed when unconscious that his eyes were upon her; when conscious, severe. However, her attitude of coldness had long outlived the coldness itself, and she could no longer utter feigned words of indifference.
He came back around noon. Elfride looked annoyed when she didn't realize he was watching her; when she did, she was stern. Still, her cold demeanor had lasted long after her feelings had actually gone cold, and she could no longer pretend to sound indifferent.
“Ah, you weren’t kind to keep me waiting in the cold, and break your promise,” she said at last reproachfully, in tones too low for her father’s powers of hearing.
“Ah, you weren’t very nice making me wait in the cold and breaking your promise,” she finally said, disappointed, in a voice too quiet for her father to hear.
“Forgive, forgive me!” said Stephen with dismay. “I had forgotten—quite forgotten! Something prevented my remembering.”
“Forgive me, please!” Stephen said, feeling upset. “I completely forgot—totally forgot! Something got in the way of my memory.”
“Any further explanation?” said Miss Capricious, pouting.
“Any more explanation?” said Miss Capricious, pouting.
He was silent for a few minutes, and looked askance.
He remained quiet for a few minutes and glanced skeptically.
“None,” he said, with the accent of one who concealed a sin.
“None,” he said, with the tone of someone hiding a secret.
Chapter V
“Bosom’d high in tufted trees.”
"Nestled high in leafy trees."
It was breakfast time.
It was breakfast time.
As seen from the vicarage dining-room, which took a warm tone of light from the fire, the weather and scene outside seemed to have stereotyped themselves in unrelieved shades of gray. The long-armed trees and shrubs of juniper, cedar, and pine varieties, were grayish black; those of the broad-leaved sort, together with the herbage, were grayish-green; the eternal hills and tower behind them were grayish-brown; the sky, dropping behind all, gray of the purest melancholy.
As seen from the vicarage dining room, which took on a warm glow from the fire, the weather and the scene outside looked stuck in endless shades of gray. The tall trees and shrubs of juniper, cedar, and pine were dark grayish-black; the broad-leaved ones and the grass were grayish-green; the eternal hills and the tower behind them were grayish-brown; and the sky, fading behind it all, was a pure, melancholic gray.
Yet in spite of this sombre artistic effect, the morning was not one which tended to lower the spirits. It was even cheering. For it did not rain, nor was rain likely to fall for many days to come.
Yet despite this gloomy artistic effect, the morning didn’t bring the mood down. In fact, it was uplifting. It wasn’t raining, nor was it likely to rain for many days ahead.
Elfride had turned from the table towards the fire and was idly elevating a hand-screen before her face, when she heard the click of a little gate outside.
Elfride had turned away from the table towards the fire and was lazily holding up a hand-screen in front of her face when she heard the click of a small gate outside.
“Ah, here’s the postman!” she said, as a shuffling, active man came through an opening in the shrubbery and across the lawn. She vanished, and met him in the porch, afterwards coming in with her hands behind her back.
“Ah, here’s the mailman!” she said, as a busy, cheerful man came through a gap in the bushes and across the yard. She disappeared, then met him on the porch, later coming in with her hands behind her back.
“How many are there? Three for papa, one for Mr. Smith, none for Miss Swancourt. And, papa, look here, one of yours is from—whom do you think?—Lord Luxellian. And it has something HARD in it—a lump of something. I’ve been feeling it through the envelope, and can’t think what it is.”
“How many are there? Three for Dad, one for Mr. Smith, none for Miss Swancourt. And, Dad, check this out, one of yours is from—guess who?—Lord Luxellian. And it has something solid in it—a lump of something. I’ve been feeling it through the envelope and can’t figure out what it is.”
“What does Luxellian write for, I wonder?” Mr. Swancourt had said simultaneously with her words. He handed Stephen his letter, and took his own, putting on his countenance a higher class of look than was customary, as became a poor gentleman who was going to read a letter from a peer.
“What does Luxellian write for, I wonder?” Mr. Swancourt said at the same time as she spoke. He handed Stephen his letter and took his own, putting on a more distinguished expression than usual, fitting for a poor gentleman about to read a letter from a peer.
Stephen read his missive with a countenance quite the reverse of the vicar’s.
Stephen read his letter with a face that was the complete opposite of the vicar’s.
“PERCY PLACE, Thursday Evening.
“Percy Place, Thursday Night.”
‘DEAR SMITH,—Old H. is in a towering rage with you for being so long about the church sketches. Swears you are more trouble than you are worth. He says I am to write and say you are to stay no longer on any consideration—that he would have done it all in three hours very easily. I told him that you were not like an experienced hand, which he seemed to forget, but it did not make much difference. However, between you and me privately, if I were you I would not alarm myself for a day or so, if I were not inclined to return. I would make out the week and finish my spree. He will blow up just as much if you appear here on Saturday as if you keep away till Monday morning.—Yours very truly,
‘DEAR SMITH,—Old H. is really angry with you for taking so long with the church sketches. He says you're more trouble than you're worth. He told me to write and say you should not stay any longer—that he could have done it all in three hours without any problem. I reminded him that you're not as experienced as he thinks, but it didn't seem to matter. Anyway, between you and me, if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much for a day or so, unless you really want to come back. I would stick it out for the week and enjoy yourself. He’ll freak out just as much if you show up here on Saturday as he would if you wait until Monday morning.—Yours very truly,
“SIMPKINS JENKINS.
SIMPKINS JENKINS.
“Dear me—very awkward!” said Stephen, rather en l’air, and confused with the kind of confusion that assails an understrapper when he has been enlarged by accident to the dimensions of a superior, and is somewhat rudely pared down to his original size.
“Wow—that's really awkward!” said Stephen, rather en l’air, and confused in the way someone feels when they've been unintentionally raised to the status of someone higher up, only to be roughly brought back down to their original position.
“What is awkward?” said Miss Swancourt.
“What is awkward?” asked Miss Swancourt.
Smith by this time recovered his equanimity, and with it the professional dignity of an experienced architect.
Smith had regained his composure by this time, along with the professional dignity of an experienced architect.
“Important business demands my immediate presence in London, I regret to say,” he replied.
“Important business requires me to be in London right away, I’m sorry to say,” he replied.
“What! Must you go at once?” said Mr. Swancourt, looking over the edge of his letter. “Important business? A young fellow like you to have important business!”
“What! Do you have to leave right now?” Mr. Swancourt said, peering over the edge of his letter. “Important work? A young guy like you has important work?”
“The truth is,” said Stephen blushing, and rather ashamed of having pretended even so slightly to a consequence which did not belong to him,—“the truth is, Mr. Hewby has sent to say I am to come home; and I must obey him.”
“The truth is,” said Stephen, blushing and feeling a bit ashamed for having even pretended to have some importance that wasn’t really his, “the truth is, Mr. Hewby has sent word that I have to come home; and I have to follow his instructions.”
“I see; I see. It is politic to do so, you mean. Now I can see more than you think. You are to be his partner. I booked you for that directly I read his letter to me the other day, and the way he spoke of you. He thinks a great deal of you, Mr. Smith, or he wouldn’t be so anxious for your return.”
“I understand; I understand. You mean it's wise to do that. Now I can see more than you realize. You are meant to be his partner. I arranged that as soon as I read his letter to me the other day, especially the way he spoke about you. He thinks highly of you, Mr. Smith, or he wouldn’t be so eager for your return.”
Unpleasant to Stephen such remarks as these could not sound; to have the expectancy of partnership with one of the largest-practising architects in London thrust upon him was cheering, however untenable he felt the idea to be. He saw that, whatever Mr. Hewby might think, Mr. Swancourt certainly thought much of him to entertain such an idea on such slender ground as to be absolutely no ground at all. And then, unaccountably, his speaking face exhibited a cloud of sadness, which a reflection on the remoteness of any such contingency could hardly have sufficed to cause.
Unpleasant as these comments were to Stephen, the idea of being considered for a partnership with one of the top architects in London was encouraging, even if he found it hard to believe. He realized that, no matter what Mr. Hewby might think, Mr. Swancourt clearly had a high opinion of him to even entertain such a notion based on such weak reasoning that it was practically nonexistent. Then, inexplicably, his expression showed a hint of sadness that couldn't be explained just by thinking about how unlikely such an opportunity was.
Elfride was struck with that look of his; even Mr. Swancourt noticed it.
Elfride was taken aback by his expression; even Mr. Swancourt noticed it.
“Well,” he said cheerfully, “never mind that now. You must come again on your own account; not on business. Come to see me as a visitor, you know—say, in your holidays—all you town men have holidays like schoolboys. When are they?”
“Well,” he said happily, “forget about that for now. You should come again for your own sake; not for work. Come to see me as a guest, you know—let’s say, during your holidays—all you city folks have holidays like schoolboys. When do they happen?”
“In August, I believe.”
“In August, I think.”
“Very well; come in August; and then you need not hurry away so. I am glad to get somebody decent to talk to, or at, in this outlandish ultima Thule. But, by the bye, I have something to say—you won’t go to-day?”
“Sure, come in August; then you won’t have to rush off so soon. I’m happy to have someone decent to talk with in this remote place. But, by the way, I have something to say—you’re not leaving today, are you?”
“No; I need not,” said Stephen hesitatingly. “I am not obliged to get back before Monday morning.”
“No; I don’t have to,” said Stephen hesitantly. “I’m not required to be back before Monday morning.”
“Very well, then, that brings me to what I am going to propose. This is a letter from Lord Luxellian. I think you heard me speak of him as the resident landowner in this district, and patron of this living?”
“Alright, that leads me to my proposal. This is a letter from Lord Luxellian. I believe you heard me mention him as the local landowner in this area and the supporter of this position?”
“I—know of him.”
"I know him."
“He is in London now. It seems that he has run up on business for a day or two, and taken Lady Luxellian with him. He has written to ask me to go to his house, and search for a paper among his private memoranda, which he forgot to take with him.”
“He's in London now. It looks like he's gone on business for a day or two, and he took Lady Luxellian with him. He wrote to ask me to go to his house and look for a paper among his personal notes that he forgot to take with him.”
“What did he send in the letter?” inquired Elfride.
“What did he say in the letter?” asked Elfride.
“The key of a private desk in which the papers are. He doesn’t like to trust such a matter to any body else. I have done such things for him before. And what I propose is, that we make an afternoon of it—all three of us. Go for a drive to Targan Bay, come home by way of Endelstow House; and whilst I am looking over the documents you can ramble about the rooms where you like. I have the run of the house at any time, you know. The building, though nothing but a mass of gables outside, has a splendid hall, staircase, and gallery within; and there are a few good pictures.”
“The key to a private desk where the papers are kept. He doesn’t want to trust this to anyone else. I’ve done this for him before. What I’m suggesting is that we make an afternoon of it—all three of us. We can go for a drive to Targan Bay, and come back via Endelstow House; while I go through the documents, you can wander around the rooms as you please. I have access to the house anytime, you know. The building, although just a bunch of gables on the outside, has a stunning hall, staircase, and gallery inside; plus, there are a few nice paintings.”
“Yes, there are,” said Stephen.
“Yes, there are,” Stephen said.
“Have you seen the place, then?
“Have you checked out the place, then?
“I saw it as I came by,” he said hastily.
“I saw it as I passed by,” he said quickly.
“Oh yes; but I was alluding to the interior. And the church—St. Eval’s—is much older than our St. Agnes’ here. I do duty in that and this alternately, you know. The fact is, I ought to have some help; riding across that park for two miles on a wet morning is not at all the thing. If my constitution were not well seasoned, as thank God it is,”—here Mr. Swancourt looked down his front, as if his constitution were visible there,—“I should be coughing and barking all the year round. And when the family goes away, there are only about three servants to preach to when I get there. Well, that shall be the arrangement, then. Elfride, you will like to go?”
“Oh yes; but I was talking about the inside. And the church—St. Eval’s—is much older than our St. Agnes’ here. I alternate my duties between both, you know. The truth is, I could use some help; riding across that park for two miles on a rainy morning is really not ideal. If my health weren’t so robust, thank God it is,”—here Mr. Swancourt glanced down at his front, as if his health were visible there,—“I’d be coughing and wheezing all year long. And when the family goes away, there are only about three servants to preach to when I get there. Well, that will be the plan, then. Elfride, you will want to go?”
Elfride assented; and the little breakfast-party separated. Stephen rose to go and take a few final measurements at the church, the vicar following him to the door with a mysterious expression of inquiry on his face.
Elfride agreed, and the small breakfast gathering broke up. Stephen got up to head out and take a few final measurements at the church, with the vicar trailing him to the door, wearing a puzzling look of curiosity on his face.
“You’ll put up with our not having family prayer this morning, I hope?” he whispered.
"You'll be okay with us not having family prayer this morning, right?" he whispered.
“Yes; quite so,” said Stephen.
“Yes, exactly,” said Stephen.
“To tell you the truth,” he continued in the same undertone, “we don’t make a regular thing of it; but when we have strangers visiting us, I am strongly of opinion that it is the proper thing to do, and I always do it. I am very strict on that point. But you, Smith, there is something in your face which makes me feel quite at home; no nonsense about you, in short. Ah, it reminds me of a splendid story I used to hear when I was a helter-skelter young fellow—such a story! But”—here the vicar shook his head self-forbiddingly, and grimly laughed.
“To be honest,” he continued in the same quiet tone, “we don’t do this regularly; but when we have guests, I really believe it’s the right thing to do, and I always make sure to do it. I’m very firm about that. But you, Smith, there’s something about your face that makes me feel completely at ease; no nonsense with you, really. Ah, it reminds me of a fantastic story I used to hear when I was a reckless young guy—such a story! But”—here the vicar shook his head, stopping himself, and let out a grim laugh.
“Was it a good story?” said young Smith, smiling too.
“Was it a good story?” young Smith asked, smiling as well.
“Oh yes; but ’tis too bad—too bad! Couldn’t tell it to you for the world!”
“Oh yes; but it's such a shame—such a shame! I couldn't tell you for anything!”
Stephen went across the lawn, hearing the vicar chuckling privately at the recollection as he withdrew.
Stephen crossed the lawn, hearing the vicar chuckling to himself at the memory as he walked away.
They started at three o’clock. The gray morning had resolved itself into an afternoon bright with a pale pervasive sunlight, without the sun itself being visible. Lightly they trotted along—the wheels nearly silent, the horse’s hoofs clapping, almost ringing, upon the hard, white, turnpike road as it followed the level ridge in a perfectly straight line, seeming to be absorbed ultimately by the white of the sky.
They started at three o’clock. The gray morning had turned into an afternoon filled with a soft, widespread sunlight, even though the sun itself wasn’t visible. They trotted along lightly—the wheels were almost silent, and the horse’s hooves were clapping, almost ringing, on the hard, white turnpike road as it followed the level ridge in a perfectly straight line, seemingly blending into the white of the sky.
Targan Bay—which had the merit of being easily got at—was duly visited. They then swept round by innumerable lanes, in which not twenty consecutive yards were either straight or level, to the domain of Lord Luxellian. A woman with a double chin and thick neck, like Queen Anne by Dahl, threw open the lodge gate, a little boy standing behind her.
Targan Bay, which was conveniently accessible, was soon explored. They then navigated through countless winding paths, where not even twenty yards in a row were straight or flat, to Lord Luxellian's estate. A woman with a double chin and a thick neck, resembling Queen Anne in Dahl's painting, opened the lodge gate, while a little boy stood behind her.
“I’ll give him something, poor little fellow,” said Elfride, pulling out her purse and hastily opening it. From the interior of her purse a host of bits of paper, like a flock of white birds, floated into the air, and were blown about in all directions.
“I'll give him something, poor little guy,” said Elfride, pulling out her purse and quickly opening it. From the inside of her purse, a bunch of pieces of paper, like a flock of white birds, floated into the air and were blown around in all directions.
“Well, to be sure!” said Stephen with a slight laugh.
“Well, for sure!” said Stephen with a small laugh.
“What the dickens is all that?” said Mr. Swancourt. “Not halves of bank-notes, Elfride?”
“What in the world is all that?” said Mr. Swancourt. “Not pieces of banknotes, Elfride?”
Elfride looked annoyed and guilty. “They are only something of mine, papa,” she faltered, whilst Stephen leapt out, and, assisted by the lodge-keeper’s little boy, crept about round the wheels and horse’s hoofs till the papers were all gathered together again. He handed them back to her, and remounted.
Elfride looked irritated and guilty. “They're just some of my things, Dad,” she said hesitantly, while Stephen jumped out and, with the help of the lodge-keeper’s little boy, crawled around the wheels and the horse's hooves until he picked up all the papers. He handed them back to her and got back on.
“I suppose you are wondering what those scraps were?” she said, as they bowled along up the sycamore avenue. “And so I may as well tell you. They are notes for a romance I am writing.”
“I guess you’re curious about those scraps I had?” she said, as they drove along the sycamore avenue. “So I might as well tell you. They’re notes for a romance I’m writing.”
She could not help colouring at the confession, much as she tried to avoid it.
She couldn't help blushing at the confession, no matter how hard she tried to suppress it.
“A story, do you mean?” said Stephen, Mr. Swancourt half listening, and catching a word of the conversation now and then.
“A story, you mean?” said Stephen, while Mr. Swancourt was only half-listening, catching bits of the conversation now and then.
“Yes; THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE; a romance of the fifteenth century. Such writing is out of date now, I know; but I like doing it.”
“Yes; THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE; a romance of the fifteenth century. I realize this style of writing is outdated now, but I enjoy doing it.”
“A romance carried in a purse! If a highwayman were to rob you, he would be taken in.”
“A romance carried in a purse! If a robber were to mug you, he would be fooled.”
“Yes; that’s my way of carrying manuscript. The real reason is, that I mostly write bits of it on scraps of paper when I am on horseback; and I put them there for convenience.”
“Yes; that’s how I carry my manuscript. The real reason is that I mostly write bits of it on scraps of paper when I’m riding; and I keep them there for convenience.”
“What are you going to do with your romance when you have written it?” said Stephen.
“What are you going to do with your romance once you've written it?” Stephen asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied, and turned her head to look at the prospect.
“I don’t know,” she said, turning her head to look at the view.
For by this time they had reached the precincts of Endelstow House. Driving through an ancient gate-way of dun-coloured stone, spanned by the high-shouldered Tudor arch, they found themselves in a spacious court, closed by a facade on each of its three sides. The substantial portions of the existing building dated from the reign of Henry VIII.; but the picturesque and sheltered spot had been the site of an erection of a much earlier date. A licence to crenellate mansum infra manerium suum was granted by Edward II. to “Hugo Luxellen chivaler;” but though the faint outline of the ditch and mound was visible at points, no sign of the original building remained.
For by this time, they had arrived at Endelstow House. Driving through an ancient stone gateway with a dull color, topped by a tall Tudor arch, they entered a large courtyard, enclosed by the building on three sides. Most of the existing structure dates back to the reign of Henry VIII, but this picturesque and sheltered location had been the site of a much earlier building. Edward II granted a license to crenellate the estate to “Hugo Luxellen, knight;” however, while the faint outline of the ditch and mound could still be seen in some places, there was no sign of the original structure left.
The windows on all sides were long and many-mullioned; the roof lines broken up by dormer lights of the same pattern. The apex stones of these dormers, together with those of the gables, were surmounted by grotesque figures in rampant, passant, and couchant variety. Tall octagonal and twisted chimneys thrust themselves high up into the sky, surpassed in height, however, by some poplars and sycamores at the back, which showed their gently rocking summits over ridge and parapet. In the corners of the court polygonal bays, whose surfaces were entirely occupied by buttresses and windows, broke into the squareness of the enclosure; and a far-projecting oriel, springing from a fantastic series of mouldings, overhung the archway of the chief entrance to the house.
The windows on all sides were long and had multiple panes; the rooflines were interrupted by dormer windows of the same style. The apex stones of these dormers, along with those of the gables, were topped with weird figures in various poses. Tall, octagonal, and twisted chimneys shot up high into the sky, but some poplars and sycamores at the back exceeded them in height, their gently swaying tops visible over the ridge and parapet. In the corners of the courtyard, polygonal bays, completely filled with buttresses and windows, broke into the square shape of the enclosure; and a large oriel, rising from a fanciful design of moldings, overhung the archway of the main entrance to the house.
As Mr. Swancourt had remarked, he had the freedom of the mansion in the absence of its owner. Upon a statement of his errand they were all admitted to the library, and left entirely to themselves. Mr. Swancourt was soon up to his eyes in the examination of a heap of papers he had taken from the cabinet described by his correspondent. Stephen and Elfride had nothing to do but to wander about till her father was ready.
As Mr. Swancourt noted, he had the run of the mansion since the owner was away. After explaining his purpose, they were all allowed into the library and were left completely alone. Mr. Swancourt quickly buried himself in a pile of documents he had taken from the cabinet mentioned by his correspondent. Stephen and Elfride had nothing to do but explore until her father was ready.
Elfride entered the gallery, and Stephen followed her without seeming to do so. It was a long sombre apartment, enriched with fittings a century or so later in style than the walls of the mansion. Pilasters of Renaissance workmanship supported a cornice from which sprang a curved ceiling, panelled in the awkward twists and curls of the period. The old Gothic quarries still remained in the upper portion of the large window at the end, though they had made way for a more modern form of glazing elsewhere.
Elfride walked into the gallery, and Stephen trailed behind her without making it obvious. It was a long, dark room, decorated with furnishings that were about a century newer than the mansion's walls. Renaissance-style columns supported a cornice from which a curved ceiling descended, featuring the clumsy twists and curls characteristic of the era. The old Gothic stonework was still visible in the upper part of the large window at the end, although more modern glass had been installed in other areas.
Stephen was at one end of the gallery looking towards Elfride, who stood in the midst, beginning to feel somewhat depressed by the society of Luxellian shades of cadaverous complexion fixed by Holbein, Kneller, and Lely, and seeming to gaze at and through her in a moralizing mood. The silence, which cast almost a spell upon them, was broken by the sudden opening of a door at the far end.
Stephen was at one end of the gallery, looking towards Elfride, who stood in the middle, starting to feel a bit down due to the presence of Luxellian figures with pale, ghostly complexions painted by Holbein, Kneller, and Lely, who seemed to stare at her with a judgmental air. The heavy silence that had settled over them was suddenly interrupted by the opening of a door at the far end.
Out bounded a pair of little girls, lightly yet warmly dressed. Their eyes were sparkling; their hair swinging about and around; their red mouths laughing with unalloyed gladness.
Out bounded a pair of little girls, dressed lightly but warmly. Their eyes sparkled; their hair swung all around; their red mouths laughed with pure joy.
“Ah, Miss Swancourt: dearest Elfie! we heard you. Are you going to stay here? You are our little mamma, are you not—our big mamma is gone to London,” said one.
“Ah, Miss Swancourt: dear Elfie! We heard you. Are you going to stay here? You are our little mom, right—our big mom has gone to London,” said one.
“Let me tiss you,” said the other, in appearance very much like the first, but to a smaller pattern.
“Let me kiss you,” said the other, looking very much like the first, but in a smaller version.
Their pink cheeks and yellow hair were speedily intermingled with the folds of Elfride’s dress; she then stooped and tenderly embraced them both.
Their pink cheeks and yellow hair quickly blended with the folds of Elfride’s dress; she then bent down and gently hugged them both.
“Such an odd thing,” said Elfride, smiling, and turning to Stephen. “They have taken it into their heads lately to call me ‘little mamma,’ because I am very fond of them, and wore a dress the other day something like one of Lady Luxellian’s.”
“Such a strange thing,” said Elfride, smiling and turning to Stephen. “They’ve recently started calling me ‘little mama’ because I really like them and wore a dress the other day that resembled one of Lady Luxellian’s.”
These two young creatures were the Honourable Mary and the Honourable Kate—scarcely appearing large enough as yet to bear the weight of such ponderous prefixes. They were the only two children of Lord and Lady Luxellian, and, as it proved, had been left at home during their parents’ temporary absence, in the custody of nurse and governess. Lord Luxellian was dotingly fond of the children; rather indifferent towards his wife, since she had begun to show an inclination not to please him by giving him a boy.
These two young girls were the Honorable Mary and the Honorable Kate—barely looking big enough to carry such heavy titles. They were the only two kids of Lord and Lady Luxellian, and, as it turned out, they had been left at home during their parents' short absence, in the care of a nurse and a governess. Lord Luxellian was very fond of the kids; he was somewhat indifferent towards his wife since she had started to show a tendency not to please him by having a son.
All children instinctively ran after Elfride, looking upon her more as an unusually nice large specimen of their own tribe than as a grown-up elder. It had now become an established rule, that whenever she met them—indoors or out-of-doors, weekdays or Sundays—they were to be severally pressed against her face and bosom for the space of a quarter of a minute, and other-wise made much of on the delightful system of cumulative epithet and caress to which unpractised girls will occasionally abandon themselves.
All the kids instinctively ran after Elfride, seeing her more as a really nice oversized member of their own group than as an adult. It had become a routine that whenever she saw them—indoors or outdoors, on weekdays or Sundays—they would each get pressed against her face and chest for about thirty seconds and showered with affection in the fun way that inexperienced girls sometimes get caught up in.
A look of misgiving by the youngsters towards the door by which they had entered directed attention to a maid-servant appearing from the same quarter, to put an end to this sweet freedom of the poor Honourables Mary and Kate.
A look of doubt from the young ones towards the door they had come in drew attention to a maid appearing from the same direction, ready to put an end to the carefree moments of the unfortunate Honorable Mary and Kate.
“I wish you lived here, Miss Swancourt,” piped one like a melancholy bullfinch.
“I wish you lived here, Miss Swancourt,” chimed one like a sad bullfinch.
“So do I,” piped the other like a rather more melancholy bullfinch. “Mamma can’t play with us so nicely as you do. I don’t think she ever learnt playing when she was little. When shall we come to see you?”
“So do I,” said the other one, sounding a bit more sad like a bullfinch. “Mom can’t play with us as well as you do. I don’t think she ever learned to play when she was little. When can we come to see you?”
“As soon as you like, dears.”
“As soon as you want, dear ones.”
“And sleep at your house all night? That’s what I mean by coming to see you. I don’t care to see people with hats and bonnets on, and all standing up and walking about.”
“And sleep at your place all night? That’s what I mean by coming to see you. I don’t want to see people in hats and bonnets, just standing around and walking about.”
“As soon as we can get mamma’s permission you shall come and stay as long as ever you like. Good-bye!”
“As soon as we get mom’s permission, you can come and stay as long as you want. Goodbye!”
The prisoners were then led off, Elfride again turning her attention to her guest, whom she had left standing at the remote end of the gallery. On looking around for him he was nowhere to be seen. Elfride stepped down to the library, thinking he might have rejoined her father there. But Mr. Swancourt, now cheerfully illuminated by a pair of candles, was still alone, untying packets of letters and papers, and tying them up again.
The prisoners were then taken away, and Elfride turned her attention back to her guest, who she had left standing at the far end of the gallery. When she looked around for him, he was nowhere to be found. Elfride went down to the library, thinking he might have joined her father there. But Mr. Swancourt, now brightly lit by a couple of candles, was still by himself, unpacking letters and papers, and packing them up again.
As Elfride did not stand on a sufficiently intimate footing with the object of her interest to justify her, as a proper young lady, to commence the active search for him that youthful impulsiveness prompted, and as, nevertheless, for a nascent reason connected with those divinely cut lips of his, she did not like him to be absent from her side, she wandered desultorily back to the oak staircase, pouting and casting her eyes about in hope of discerning his boyish figure.
As Elfride didn't have a close enough relationship with the person she was interested in to justify her, as a proper young lady, starting an active search for him as her youthful instincts urged, and yet, for a budding reason related to those perfectly shaped lips of his, she didn’t like him being away from her side. So, she aimlessly wandered back to the oak staircase, pouting and looking around in the hope of spotting his youthful figure.
Though daylight still prevailed in the rooms, the corridors were in a depth of shadow—chill, sad, and silent; and it was only by looking along them towards light spaces beyond that anything or anybody could be discerned therein. One of these light spots she found to be caused by a side-door with glass panels in the upper part. Elfride opened it, and found herself confronting a secondary or inner lawn, separated from the principal lawn front by a shrubbery.
Though daylight still filled the rooms, the hallways were deep in shadow—cold, gloomy, and quiet; and it was only by looking down them towards the light areas beyond that anything or anyone could be seen. One of these bright spots turned out to be a side door with glass panels on the upper half. Elfride opened it and found herself facing a smaller inner lawn, separated from the main lawn by a patch of shrubs.
And now she saw a perplexing sight. At right angles to the face of the wing she had emerged from, and within a few feet of the door, jutted out another wing of the mansion, lower and with less architectural character. Immediately opposite to her, in the wall of this wing, was a large broad window, having its blind drawn down, and illuminated by a light in the room it screened.
And now she saw a confusing sight. At a right angle to the side of the wing she had just come from, and just a few feet from the door, another wing of the mansion extended out, lower and less distinctive in design. Directly across from her, in the wall of this wing, was a large wide window, with its blind pulled down, lit by a light in the room behind it.
On the blind was a shadow from somebody close inside it—a person in profile. The profile was unmistakably that of Stephen. It was just possible to see that his arms were uplifted, and that his hands held an article of some kind. Then another shadow appeared—also in profile—and came close to him. This was the shadow of a woman. She turned her back towards Stephen: he lifted and held out what now proved to be a shawl or mantle—placed it carefully—so carefully—round the lady; disappeared; reappeared in her front—fastened the mantle. Did he then kiss her? Surely not. Yet the motion might have been a kiss. Then both shadows swelled to colossal dimensions—grew distorted—vanished.
On the blind was a shadow of someone close inside—a person in profile. The profile was unmistakably Stephen's. You could just make out that his arms were raised and that his hands were holding something. Then another shadow appeared—also in profile—and moved in closer to him. This was the shadow of a woman. She turned her back to Stephen: he lifted and held out what turned out to be a shawl or cloak—placed it carefully—so carefully—around the lady; disappeared; and then reappeared in front of her—fastened the cloak. Did he kiss her then? Surely not. But the movement could have been a kiss. Then both shadows grew to enormous sizes—became distorted—and vanished.
Two minutes elapsed.
Two minutes passed.
“Ah, Miss Swancourt! I am so glad to find you. I was looking for you,” said a voice at her elbow—Stephen’s voice. She stepped into the passage.
“Ah, Miss Swancourt! I’m so glad to see you. I was looking for you,” said a voice beside her—Stephen’s voice. She stepped into the hallway.
“Do you know any of the members of this establishment?” said she.
“Do you know any of the people here?” she asked.
“Not a single one: how should I?” he replied.
“Not a single one: how am I supposed to?” he replied.
Chapter VI
“Fare thee weel awhile!”
“Farewell for now!”
Simultaneously with the conclusion of Stephen’s remark, the sound of the closing of an external door in their immediate neighbourhood reached Elfride’s ears. It came from the further side of the wing containing the illuminated room. She then discerned, by the aid of the dusky departing light, a figure, whose sex was undistinguishable, walking down the gravelled path by the parterre towards the river. The figure grew fainter, and vanished under the trees.
As soon as Stephen finished speaking, Elfride heard the sound of an external door closing nearby. It came from the other side of the wing with the lit room. With the fading light, she noticed a figure, whose gender was unclear, walking down the gravel path by the garden towards the river. The figure became less distinct and disappeared beneath the trees.
Mr. Swancourt’s voice was heard calling out their names from a distant corridor in the body of the building. They retraced their steps, and found him with his coat buttoned up and his hat on, awaiting their advent in a mood of self-satisfaction at having brought his search to a successful close. The carriage was brought round, and without further delay the trio drove away from the mansion, under the echoing gateway arch, and along by the leafless sycamores, as the stars began to kindle their trembling lights behind the maze of branches and twigs.
Mr. Swancourt’s voice called out their names from a hallway in the building. They turned back and found him with his coat buttoned and his hat on, feeling pleased with himself for finishing his search successfully. The carriage was brought around, and without wasting any time, the three of them drove away from the mansion, under the echoing archway, and alongside the leafless sycamores, as the stars started to shine their flickering lights through the tangled branches and twigs.
No words were spoken either by youth or maiden. Her unpractised mind was completely occupied in fathoming its recent acquisition. The young man who had inspired her with such novelty of feeling, who had come directly from London on business to her father, having been brought by chance to Endelstow House had, by some means or other, acquired the privilege of approaching some lady he had found therein, and of honouring her by petits soins of a marked kind,—all in the space of half an hour.
No words were exchanged between the young man and the young woman. Her inexperienced mind was fully focused on understanding her recent feelings. The young man, who had stirred such new emotions in her, had come straight from London on business for her father. By chance, he had arrived at Endelstow House and, somehow, earned the right to get close to a lady he found there and to show her special attention—all in just half an hour.
What room were they standing in? thought Elfride. As nearly as she could guess, it was Lord Luxellian’s business-room, or office. What people were in the house? None but the governess and servants, as far as she knew, and of these he had professed a total ignorance. Had the person she had indistinctly seen leaving the house anything to do with the performance? It was impossible to say without appealing to the culprit himself, and that she would never do. The more Elfride reflected, the more certain did it appear that the meeting was a chance rencounter, and not an appointment. On the ultimate inquiry as to the individuality of the woman, Elfride at once assumed that she could not be an inferior. Stephen Smith was not the man to care about passages-at-love with women beneath him. Though gentle, ambition was visible in his kindling eyes; he evidently hoped for much; hoped indefinitely, but extensively. Elfride was puzzled, and being puzzled, was, by a natural sequence of girlish sensations, vexed with him. No more pleasure came in recognizing that from liking to attract him she was getting on to love him, boyish as he was and innocent as he had seemed.
What room were they in? Elfride wondered. As far as she could tell, it was Lord Luxellian’s office. Who else was in the house? No one but the governess and the servants, as far as she knew, and he had claimed to know nothing about them. Did the person she had vaguely seen leaving the house have anything to do with the performance? It was impossible to tell without asking the culprit directly, and she would never do that. The more Elfride thought about it, the more convinced she became that their meeting was a coincidence, not a planned meeting. When it came to figuring out who the woman was, Elfride quickly assumed that she couldn't be someone of lower status. Stephen Smith wasn’t the type to be interested in romantic entanglements with women beneath him. Though gentle, ambition was clear in his brightening eyes; he clearly hoped for a lot, hoping broadly, though not specifically. Elfride was confused, and feeling confused, she naturally felt annoyed with him. It brought her no joy to realize that her initial attraction to him was turning into something deeper, despite his boyishness and the innocence he had seemed to portray.
They reached the bridge which formed a link between the eastern and western halves of the parish. Situated in a valley that was bounded outwardly by the sea, it formed a point of depression from which the road ascended with great steepness to West Endelstow and the Vicarage. There was no absolute necessity for either of them to alight, but as it was the vicar’s custom after a long journey to humour the horse in making this winding ascent, Elfride, moved by an imitative instinct, suddenly jumped out when Pleasant had just begun to adopt the deliberate stalk he associated with this portion of the road.
They arrived at the bridge that connected the eastern and western sides of the parish. Nestled in a valley that led out to the sea, it created a low point from which the road steeply climbed toward West Endelstow and the Vicarage. Neither of them really had to get out, but since it was the vicar's habit after a long trip to let the horse take its time on this winding climb, Elfride, feeling an instinct to imitate, suddenly jumped out just as Pleasant started to adopt the slow, careful pace he associated with this part of the road.
The young man seemed glad of any excuse for breaking the silence. “Why, Miss Swancourt, what a risky thing to do!” he exclaimed, immediately following her example by jumping down on the other side.
The young man looked happy to find any reason to break the silence. “Wow, Miss Swancourt, what a dangerous thing to do!” he said, quickly following her lead by jumping down on the other side.
“Oh no, not at all,” replied she coldly; the shadow phenomenon at Endelstow House still paramount within her.
“Oh no, not at all,” she replied coldly, the shadow phenomenon at Endelstow House still dominating her thoughts.
Stephen walked along by himself for two or three minutes, wrapped in the rigid reserve dictated by her tone. Then apparently thinking that it was only for girls to pout, he came serenely round to her side, and offered his arm with Castilian gallantry, to assist her in ascending the remaining three-quarters of the steep.
Stephen walked by himself for two or three minutes, trapped in the stiff restraint caused by her tone. Then, thinking it was only girls who should sulk, he calmly came over to her side and offered his arm with a courteous charm, ready to help her climb the last three-quarters of the steep.
Here was a temptation: it was the first time in her life that Elfride had been treated as a grown-up woman in this way—offered an arm in a manner implying that she had a right to refuse it. Till to-night she had never received masculine attentions beyond those which might be contained in such homely remarks as “Elfride, give me your hand;” “Elfride, take hold of my arm,” from her father. Her callow heart made an epoch of the incident; she considered her array of feelings, for and against. Collectively they were for taking this offered arm; the single one of pique determined her to punish Stephen by refusing.
Here was a temptation: it was the first time in her life that Elfride had been treated as an adult woman in this way—offered an arm in a way that suggested she had the right to refuse it. Until tonight, she had never received attention from men beyond simple remarks like “Elfride, give me your hand” or “Elfride, take hold of my arm” from her father. Her naive heart turned this moment into a milestone; she weighed her feelings, both for and against. Overall, they leaned towards accepting this offered arm, but one feeling of irritation pushed her to refuse Stephen as a way to get back at him.
“No, thank you, Mr. Smith; I can get along better by myself”
“No, thank you, Mr. Smith; I can do just fine on my own.”
It was Elfride’s first fragile attempt at browbeating a lover. Fearing more the issue of such an undertaking than what a gentle young man might think of her waywardness, she immediately afterwards determined to please herself by reversing her statement.
It was Elfride’s first shaky attempt at intimidating a boyfriend. More worried about the consequences of such an action than what a kind young man would think of her rebelliousness, she quickly decided to satisfy herself by taking back what she had said.
“On second thoughts, I will take it,” she said.
“On second thoughts, I’ll take it,” she said.
They slowly went their way up the hill, a few yards behind the carriage.
They slowly made their way up the hill, a few yards behind the carriage.
“How silent you are, Miss Swancourt!” Stephen observed.
“How quiet you are, Miss Swancourt!” Stephen noted.
“Perhaps I think you silent too,” she returned.
“Maybe I think you’re quiet too,” she replied.
“I may have reason to be.”
“I might have a reason to be.”
“Scarcely; it is sadness that makes people silent, and you can have none.”
“Barely; it's sadness that keeps people quiet, and you can’t have any.”
“You don’t know: I have a trouble; though some might think it less a trouble than a dilemma.”
“You don’t know: I have a problem; though some might see it as less of a problem and more of a dilemma.”
“What is it?” she asked impulsively.
“What is it?” she asked without thinking.
Stephen hesitated. “I might tell,” he said; “at the same time, perhaps, it is as well——”
Stephen hesitated. “I might spill the beans,” he said; “at the same time, maybe it’s for the best——”
She let go his arm and imperatively pushed it from her, tossing her head. She had just learnt that a good deal of dignity is lost by asking a question to which an answer is refused, even ever so politely; for though politeness does good service in cases of requisition and compromise, it but little helps a direct refusal. “I don’t wish to know anything of it; I don’t wish it,” she went on. “The carriage is waiting for us at the top of the hill; we must get in;” and Elfride flitted to the front. “Papa, here is your Elfride!” she exclaimed to the dusky figure of the old gentleman, as she sprang up and sank by his side without deigning to accept aid from Stephen.
She released his arm and firmly pushed it away, tossing her head. She had just realized that asking a question when the answer is being withheld, no matter how politely, costs a lot of dignity; because while politeness can be helpful in negotiations and compromises, it doesn’t do much to ease a flat refusal. “I don’t want to know anything about it; I don’t want it,” she continued. “The carriage is waiting for us at the top of the hill; we need to get in,” and Elfride hurried to the front. “Papa, here’s your Elfride!” she said to the shadowy figure of the old gentleman as she jumped up and settled next to him without bothering to accept help from Stephen.
“Ah, yes!” uttered the vicar in artificially alert tones, awaking from a most profound sleep, and suddenly preparing to alight.
“Ah, yes!” exclaimed the vicar in an overly enthusiastic voice, waking from a deep sleep and suddenly getting ready to get up.
“Why, what are you doing, papa? We are not home yet.”
“Why, what are you doing, Dad? We're not home yet.”
“Oh no, no; of course not; we are not at home yet,” Mr. Swancourt said very hastily, endeavouring to dodge back to his original position with the air of a man who had not moved at all. “The fact is I was so lost in deep meditation that I forgot whereabouts we were.” And in a minute the vicar was snoring again.
“Oh no, no; definitely not; we’re not home yet,” Mr. Swancourt said quickly, trying to return to his original position with the vibe of someone who hadn’t moved at all. “The truth is, I was so deep in thought that I lost track of where we were.” And in a minute, the vicar was snoring again.
That evening, being the last, seemed to throw an exceptional shade of sadness over Stephen Smith, and the repeated injunctions of the vicar, that he was to come and revisit them in the summer, apparently tended less to raise his spirits than to unearth some misgiving.
That evening, being the last one, seemed to cast a particularly deep sadness over Stephen Smith, and the vicar’s repeated requests for him to come back and visit them in the summer seemed to do less to lift his spirits and more to bring up some doubts.
He left them in the gray light of dawn, whilst the colours of earth were sombre, and the sun was yet hidden in the east. Elfride had fidgeted all night in her little bed lest none of the household should be awake soon enough to start him, and also lest she might miss seeing again the bright eyes and curly hair, to which their owner’s possession of a hidden mystery added a deeper tinge of romance. To some extent—so soon does womanly interest take a solicitous turn—she felt herself responsible for his safe conduct. They breakfasted before daylight; Mr. Swancourt, being more and more taken with his guest’s ingenuous appearance, having determined to rise early and bid him a friendly farewell. It was, however, rather to the vicar’s astonishment, that he saw Elfride walk in to the breakfast-table, candle in hand.
He left them in the gray light of dawn, while the colors of the earth were dull and the sun was still hidden in the east. Elfride had tossed and turned all night in her small bed, worried that no one in the house would wake up quickly enough to send him off and also that she might miss seeing again his bright eyes and curly hair, which held a hidden mystery that added a layer of romance. To some extent—since women often feel a sense of responsibility—she felt accountable for his safe journey. They had breakfast before sunrise; Mr. Swancourt, becoming increasingly charmed by his guest's genuine demeanor, had decided to wake up early to say a friendly goodbye. However, it was quite a surprise for the vicar to see Elfride walk into the breakfast room, holding a candle.
Whilst William Worm performed his toilet (during which performance the inmates of the vicarage were always in the habit of waiting with exemplary patience), Elfride wandered desultorily to the summer house. Stephen followed her thither. The copse-covered valley was visible from this position, a mist now lying all along its length, hiding the stream which trickled through it, though the observers themselves were in clear air.
While William Worm got ready (a process during which the people at the vicarage always waited with impressive patience), Elfride aimlessly wandered to the summer house. Stephen followed her there. From this spot, the valley covered in trees was visible, with a mist lying along its length, obscuring the stream that trickled through, although the observers themselves were in clear air.
They stood close together, leaning over the rustic balustrading which bounded the arbour on the outward side, and formed the crest of a steep slope beneath Elfride constrainedly pointed out some features of the distant uplands rising irregularly opposite. But the artistic eye was, either from nature or circumstance, very faint in Stephen now, and he only half attended to her description, as if he spared time from some other thought going on within him.
They stood close together, leaning over the rustic railing that surrounded the arbor on the outside and marked the top of a steep slope below. Elfride awkwardly pointed out some features of the distant hills rising unevenly across from them. However, Stephen's artistic eye, whether due to nature or circumstance, was very dim at that moment, and he only half-listened to her description, as if he was distracted by another thought going on in his mind.
“Well, good-bye,” he said suddenly; “I must never see you again, I suppose, Miss Swancourt, in spite of invitations.”
“Well, goodbye,” he said suddenly; “I guess I shouldn’t expect to see you again, Miss Swancourt, despite the invitations.”
His genuine tribulation played directly upon the delicate chords of her nature. She could afford to forgive him for a concealment or two. Moreover, the shyness which would not allow him to look her in the face lent bravery to her own eyes and tongue.
His real struggle hit directly at the sensitive parts of her personality. She could overlook a lie or two from him. Plus, his shyness that kept him from looking her in the eyes gave her courage in her gaze and her words.
“Oh, DO come again, Mr. Smith!” she said prettily.
“Oh, please do come again, Mr. Smith!” she said sweetly.
“I should delight in it; but it will be better if I do not.”
“I should enjoy it; but it will be better if I don’t.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Certain circumstances in connection with me make it undesirable. Not on my account; on yours.”
“Some situations related to me make it not a good idea. Not for my sake; for yours.”
“Goodness! As if anything in connection with you could hurt me,” she said with serene supremacy; but seeing that this plan of treatment was inappropriate, she tuned a smaller note. “Ah, I know why you will not come. You don’t want to. You’ll go home to London and to all the stirring people there, and will never want to see us any more!”
“Wow! As if anything about you could hurt me,” she said confidently; but realizing that this approach wasn’t working, she softened her tone. “Oh, I get why you won’t come. You don’t want to. You’ll head back to London and all the exciting people there, and you’ll never want to see us again!”
“You know I have no such reason.”
“You know I don't have any reason like that.”
“And go on writing letters to the lady you are engaged to, just as before.”
“And keep writing letters to the woman you’re engaged to, just like you did before.”
“What does that mean? I am not engaged.”
“What does that mean? I'm not engaged.”
“You wrote a letter to a Miss Somebody; I saw it in the letter-rack.”
“You wrote a letter to someone named Miss Somebody; I saw it in the letter rack.”
“Pooh! an elderly woman who keeps a stationer’s shop; and it was to tell her to keep my newspapers till I get back.”
“Ugh! an old woman who runs a stationery shop; and it was to tell her to hold my newspapers until I get back.”
“You needn’t have explained: it was not my business at all.” Miss Elfride was rather relieved to hear that statement, nevertheless. “And you won’t come again to see my father?” she insisted.
“You didn’t have to explain: it wasn’t my concern at all.” Miss Elfride felt somewhat relieved to hear that. “So, you won’t come to see my father again?” she pressed.
“I should like to—and to see you again, but——”
“I’d like to see you again, but——”
“Will you reveal to me that matter you hide?” she interrupted petulantly.
“Will you tell me what you're hiding?” she interrupted irritably.
“No; not now.”
“No, not now.”
She could not but go on, graceless as it might seem.
She couldn't help but continue, no matter how awkward it might look.
“Tell me this,” she importuned with a trembling mouth. “Does any meeting of yours with a lady at Endelstow Vicarage clash with—any interest you may take in me?”
“Tell me this,” she pressed with a quivering voice. “Does any meeting you have with a woman at Endelstow Vicarage interfere with—any feelings you might have for me?”
He started a little. “It does not,” he said emphatically; and looked into the pupils of her eyes with the confidence that only honesty can give, and even that to youth alone.
He flinched a bit. “It doesn’t,” he said firmly, and gazed into her eyes with the confidence that only honesty can provide, and even that is something only youth can possess.
The explanation had not come, but a gloom left her. She could not but believe that utterance. Whatever enigma might lie in the shadow on the blind, it was not an enigma of underhand passion.
The explanation hadn’t come, but a darkness left her. She couldn’t help but believe that statement. Whatever mystery might be hidden in the shadow on the blind, it wasn’t a mystery of secret passion.
She turned towards the house, entering it through the conservatory. Stephen went round to the front door. Mr. Swancourt was standing on the step in his slippers. Worm was adjusting a buckle in the harness, and murmuring about his poor head; and everything was ready for Stephen’s departure.
She turned toward the house, entering through the conservatory. Stephen walked around to the front door. Mr. Swancourt was standing on the step in his slippers. Worm was adjusting a buckle on the harness and mumbling about his headache, and everything was ready for Stephen's departure.
“You named August for your visit. August it shall be; that is, if you care for the society of such a fossilized Tory,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“You picked August for your visit. So, August it will be; that is, if you don’t mind spending time with such an outdated Tory,” said Mr. Swancourt.
Mr. Smith only responded hesitatingly, that he should like to come again.
Mr. Smith only replied uncertainly that he would like to come again.
“You said you would, and you must,” insisted Elfride, coming to the door and speaking under her father’s arm.
“You said you would, and you need to,” insisted Elfride, coming to the door and speaking under her father’s arm.
Whatever reason the youth may have had for not wishing to enter the house as a guest, it no longer predominated. He promised, and bade them adieu, and got into the pony-carriage, which crept up the slope, and bore him out of their sight.
Whatever reason the young man had for not wanting to enter the house as a guest no longer mattered. He promised to return, said goodbye, and climbed into the pony carriage, which slowly made its way up the hill and took him out of their sight.
“I never was so much taken with anybody in my life as I am with that young fellow—never! I cannot understand it—can’t understand it anyhow,” said Mr. Swancourt quite energetically to himself; and went indoors.
“I’ve never been so captivated by anyone in my life as I am by that young guy—never! I just can’t get it—can’t understand it at all,” said Mr. Swancourt quite energetically to himself; and went inside.
Chapter VII
“No more of me you knew, my love!”
“No more of me you knew, my love!”
Stephen Smith revisited Endelstow Vicarage, agreeably to his promise. He had a genuine artistic reason for coming, though no such reason seemed to be required. Six-and-thirty old seat ends, of exquisite fifteenth-century workmanship, were rapidly decaying in an aisle of the church; and it became politic to make drawings of their worm-eaten contours ere they were battered past recognition in the turmoil of the so-called restoration.
Stephen Smith returned to Endelstow Vicarage as he promised. He had a real artistic reason for coming, even though it didn’t seem necessary. Thirty-six old seat ends, beautifully crafted in the fifteenth century, were quickly deteriorating in a church aisle; it was wise to make drawings of their decaying shapes before they were destroyed beyond recognition in the chaos of the so-called restoration.
He entered the house at sunset, and the world was pleasant again to the two fair-haired ones. A momentary pang of disappointment had, nevertheless, passed through Elfride when she casually discovered that he had not come that minute post-haste from London, but had reached the neighbourhood the previous evening. Surprise would have accompanied the feeling, had she not remembered that several tourists were haunting the coast at this season, and that Stephen might have chosen to do likewise.
He walked into the house at sunset, and everything felt nice again for the two blondes. However, Elfride felt a brief moment of disappointment when she found out he hadn't just rushed over from London but had actually arrived in the area the night before. She would have been surprised, but she remembered that a lot of tourists were visiting the coast this time of year, and that Stephen could have easily decided to join them.
They did little besides chat that evening, Mr. Swancourt beginning to question his visitor, closely yet paternally, and in good part, on his hopes and prospects from the profession he had embraced. Stephen gave vague answers. The next day it rained. In the evening, when twenty-four hours of Elfride had completely rekindled her admirer’s ardour, a game of chess was proposed between them.
They mostly just talked that evening, with Mr. Swancourt asking his visitor questions, both closely and in a fatherly way, about his hopes and prospects in the profession he had chosen. Stephen gave him vague answers. The next day, it rained. In the evening, after spending a full day with Elfride had completely reignited her admirer’s passion, they suggested playing a game of chess together.
The game had its value in helping on the developments of their future.
The game was valuable in assisting with their future development.
Elfride soon perceived that her opponent was but a learner. She next noticed that he had a very odd way of handling the pieces when castling or taking a man. Antecedently she would have supposed that the same performance must be gone through by all players in the same manner; she was taught by his differing action that all ordinary players, who learn the game by sight, unconsciously touch the men in a stereotyped way. This impression of indescribable oddness in Stephen’s touch culminated in speech when she saw him, at the taking of one of her bishops, push it aside with the taking man instead of lifting it as a preliminary to the move.
Elfride quickly realized that her opponent was just a beginner. She then noticed that he had a very strange way of moving the pieces when castling or capturing a piece. Previously, she would have thought that all players must move the pieces in the same way; however, his different approach taught her that most regular players, who learn the game visually, unconsciously handle the pieces in a predictable manner. This feeling of indescribable strangeness in Stephen’s movements reached a breaking point when she saw him, while capturing one of her bishops, push it aside with the capturing piece instead of lifting it first, as was customary.
“How strangely you handle the men, Mr. Smith!”
“How strangely you deal with the guys, Mr. Smith!”
“Do I? I am sorry for that.”
“Do I? I’m sorry about that.”
“Oh no—don’t be sorry; it is not a matter great enough for sorrow. But who taught you to play?”
“Oh no—don’t apologize; it’s not something serious enough to be upset about. But who taught you to play?”
“Nobody, Miss Swancourt,” he said. “I learnt from a book lent me by my friend Mr. Knight, the noblest man in the world.”
“Nothing, Miss Swancourt,” he said. “I learned from a book that my friend Mr. Knight lent me, the most honorable man in the world.”
“But you have seen people play?”
“But have you seen people play?”
“I have never seen the playing of a single game. This is the first time I ever had the opportunity of playing with a living opponent. I have worked out many games from books, and studied the reasons of the different moves, but that is all.”
“I’ve never played a single game. This is the first time I’ve had the chance to play against a real opponent. I’ve worked through many games from books and learned the reasons behind the different moves, but that’s it.”
This was a full explanation of his mannerism; but the fact that a man with the desire for chess should have grown up without being able to see or engage in a game astonished her not a little. She pondered on the circumstance for some time, looking into vacancy and hindering the play.
This explained his behavior completely; however, the reality that a guy who wanted to play chess had grown up unable to see or participate in a game amazed her quite a bit. She thought about this for a while, staring off into space and interrupting the game.
Mr. Swancourt was sitting with his eyes fixed on the board, but apparently thinking of other things. Half to himself he said, pending the move of Elfride:
Mr. Swancourt was sitting with his eyes on the board, but he seemed to be thinking about other things. Half to himself, he said, waiting for Elfride’s move:
“‘Quae finis aut quod me manet stipendium?’”
“‘What end or what reward is there for me?’”
Stephen replied instantly:
Stephen responded immediately:
“‘Effare: jussas cum fide poenas luam.’”
“‘Effare: jussas cum fide poenas luam.’”
“Excellent—prompt—gratifying!” said Mr. Swancourt with feeling, bringing down his hand upon the table, and making three pawns and a knight dance over their borders by the shaking. “I was musing on those words as applicable to a strange course I am steering—but enough of that. I am delighted with you, Mr. Smith, for it is so seldom in this desert that I meet with a man who is gentleman and scholar enough to continue a quotation, however trite it may be.”
“Excellent—prompt—gratifying!” said Mr. Swancourt passionately, slapping his hand on the table and making three pawns and a knight bounce around by the vibration. “I was reflecting on those words in relation to an unusual path I'm taking—but that's enough about that. I'm really pleased with you, Mr. Smith, because it's so rare in this dry place that I meet a guy who is both a gentleman and a scholar enough to carry on a quotation, no matter how cliché it might be.”
“I also apply the words to myself,” said Stephen quietly.
“I also apply the words to myself,” Stephen said quietly.
“You? The last man in the world to do that, I should have thought.”
“You? I would have thought you were the last person in the world to do that.”
“Come,” murmured Elfride poutingly, and insinuating herself between them, “tell me all about it. Come, construe, construe!”
“Come,” Elfride said with a pout, sliding between them, “tell me everything. Come on, interpret it, interpret it!”
Stephen looked steadfastly into her face, and said slowly, and in a voice full of a far-off meaning that seemed quaintly premature in one so young:
Stephen looked intently into her face and said slowly, his voice filled with a distant significance that felt oddly mature for someone so young:
“Quae finis WHAT WILL BE THE END, aut OR, quod stipendium WHAT FINE, manet me AWAITS ME? Effare SPEAK OUT; luam I WILL PAY, cum fide WITH FAITH, jussas poenas THE PENALTY REQUIRED.”
“What's the end going to be, or what’s the price I’ll have to pay? Speak up; I’ll take it on, with faith, the penalty demanded.”
The vicar, who had listened with a critical compression of the lips to this school-boy recitation, and by reason of his imperfect hearing had missed the marked realism of Stephen’s tone in the English words, now said hesitatingly: “By the bye, Mr. Smith (I know you’ll excuse my curiosity), though your translation was unexceptionably correct and close, you have a way of pronouncing your Latin which to me seems most peculiar. Not that the pronunciation of a dead language is of much importance; yet your accents and quantities have a grotesque sound to my ears. I thought first that you had acquired your way of breathing the vowels from some of the northern colleges; but it cannot be so with the quantities. What I was going to ask was, if your instructor in the classics could possibly have been an Oxford or Cambridge man?”
The vicar, who had listened with a critical tightening of his lips to this schoolboy recitation, and due to his poor hearing had missed the distinct realism in Stephen’s tone while reciting in English, now said hesitantly: “By the way, Mr. Smith (I hope you won’t mind my curiosity), even though your translation was perfectly correct and accurate, your way of pronouncing Latin strikes me as quite peculiar. Not that the pronunciation of a dead language matters much; still, your accents and rhythms sound odd to me. At first, I thought you must have picked up your vowel sounds from some of the northern colleges; but that doesn’t explain the rhythms. What I wanted to ask was whether your instructor in the classics could possibly have been from Oxford or Cambridge?”
“Yes; he was an Oxford man—Fellow of St. Cyprian’s.”
“Yes; he went to Oxford—Fellow of St. Cyprian’s.”
“Really?”
"Seriously?"
“Oh yes; there’s no doubt about it.
“Oh yes; there’s no doubt about it.
“The oddest thing ever I heard of!” said Mr. Swancourt, starting with astonishment. “That the pupil of such a man——”
“The strangest thing I’ve ever heard!” said Mr. Swancourt, starting in surprise. “That a student of such a man——”
“The best and cleverest man in England!” cried Stephen enthusiastically.
“The best and smartest guy in England!” shouted Stephen excitedly.
“That the pupil of such a man should pronounce Latin in the way you pronounce it beats all I ever heard. How long did he instruct you?”
“That a student of such a man should pronounce Latin the way you do is the most surprising thing I’ve ever heard. How long did he teach you?”
“Four years.”
"4 years."
“Four years!”
“Four years!”
“It is not so strange when I explain,” Stephen hastened to say. “It was done in this way—by letter. I sent him exercises and construing twice a week, and twice a week he sent them back to me corrected, with marginal notes of instruction. That is how I learnt my Latin and Greek, such as it is. He is not responsible for my scanning. He has never heard me scan a line.”
“It’s not that weird when I explain,” Stephen quickly said. “It was done like this—over letters. I sent him assignments and translations twice a week, and twice a week he returned them to me corrected, with notes along the side to help me. That’s how I learned my Latin and Greek, as good as it is. He’s not to blame for my scansion. He’s never heard me scan a line.”
“A novel case, and a singular instance of patience!” cried the vicar.
“A unique case, and a remarkable example of patience!” exclaimed the vicar.
“On his part, not on mine. Ah, Henry Knight is one in a thousand! I remember his speaking to me on this very subject of pronunciation. He says that, much to his regret, he sees a time coming when every man will pronounce even the common words of his own tongue as seems right in his own ears, and be thought none the worse for it; that the speaking age is passing away, to make room for the writing age.”
“Not on my end, but on his. Ah, Henry Knight is truly one of a kind! I remember him talking to me about this very issue of pronunciation. He mentions that, much to his disappointment, he sees a time ahead when everyone will pronounce even the simplest words in their own way, and no one will think any less of them for it; that the era of speaking is fading away to make space for the era of writing.”
Both Elfride and her father had waited attentively to hear Stephen go on to what would have been the most interesting part of the story, namely, what circumstances could have necessitated such an unusual method of education. But no further explanation was volunteered; and they saw, by the young man’s manner of concentrating himself upon the chess-board, that he was anxious to drop the subject.
Both Elfride and her father had listened closely to hear Stephen continue with what would have been the most interesting part of the story, specifically what circumstances could have led to such an unusual method of education. But no more details were provided; and they noticed, from the way the young man focused intently on the chessboard, that he was eager to change the subject.
The game proceeded. Elfride played by rote; Stephen by thought. It was the cruellest thing to checkmate him after so much labour, she considered. What was she dishonest enough to do in her compassion? To let him checkmate her. A second game followed; and being herself absolutely indifferent as to the result (her playing was above the average among women, and she knew it), she allowed him to give checkmate again. A final game, in which she adopted the Muzio gambit as her opening, was terminated by Elfride’s victory at the twelfth move.
The game went on. Elfride played by memory; Stephen thought through his moves. She thought it was incredibly cruel to checkmate him after all his hard work. What was she dishonest enough to do out of pity? Let him checkmate her. They played a second game, and since she really didn’t care about the outcome (her playing was better than average for women, and she knew it), she let him checkmate her again. In the final game, where she used the Muzio gambit as her opening, Elfride won at the twelfth move.
Stephen looked up suspiciously. His heart was throbbing even more excitedly than was hers, which itself had quickened when she seriously set to work on this last occasion. Mr. Swancourt had left the room.
Stephen looked up with suspicion. His heart was pounding even more eagerly than hers, which had also started racing when she got seriously to work this last time. Mr. Swancourt had exited the room.
“You have been trifling with me till now!” he exclaimed, his face flushing. “You did not play your best in the first two games?”
“You’ve been messing around with me this whole time!” he shouted, his face turning red. “You didn’t really give it your all in the first two games?”
Elfride’s guilt showed in her face. Stephen became the picture of vexation and sadness, which, relishable for a moment, caused her the next instant to regret the mistake she had made.
Elfride’s guilt was evident on her face. Stephen looked frustrated and sad, and while that was familiar for a moment, it made her instantly regret the mistake she had made.
“Mr. Smith, forgive me!” she said sweetly. “I see now, though I did not at first, that what I have done seems like contempt for your skill. But, indeed, I did not mean it in that sense. I could not, upon my conscience, win a victory in those first and second games over one who fought at such a disadvantage and so manfully.”
“Mr. Smith, I’m so sorry!” she said kindly. “I realize now, although I didn’t at first, that what I did looked like I was belittling your skills. But honestly, I didn’t mean it that way. I couldn’t, in good conscience, claim a win in those first and second games against someone who fought so bravely and at such a disadvantage.”
He drew a long breath, and murmured bitterly, “Ah, you are cleverer than I. You can do everything—I can do nothing! O Miss Swancourt!” he burst out wildly, his heart swelling in his throat, “I must tell you how I love you! All these months of my absence I have worshipped you.”
He took a deep breath and said bitterly, “Ah, you’re smarter than I am. You can do everything—I can do nothing! Oh, Miss Swancourt!” he suddenly exclaimed, his heart racing, “I have to tell you how much I love you! All these months I’ve been away, I’ve adored you.”
He leapt from his seat like the impulsive lad that he was, slid round to her side, and almost before she suspected it his arm was round her waist, and the two sets of curls intermingled.
He jumped out of his seat like the impulsive kid he was, slid over to her side, and almost before she realized it, his arm was around her waist, and their curls mixed together.
So entirely new was full-blown love to Elfride, that she trembled as much from the novelty of the emotion as from the emotion itself. Then she suddenly withdrew herself and stood upright, vexed that she had submitted unresistingly even to his momentary pressure. She resolved to consider this demonstration as premature.
So completely new was full-blown love to Elfride that she shook just as much from the surprise of the feeling as from the feeling itself. Then she suddenly pulled back and stood up straight, annoyed that she had let herself give in so easily, even to his brief touch. She decided to think of this moment as too soon.
“You must not begin such things as those,” she said with coquettish hauteur of a very transparent nature “And—you must not do so again—and papa is coming.”
“You really shouldn’t start things like that,” she said with a flirtatious air that was clearly obvious. “And—don’t do it again—and dad is on his way.”
“Let me kiss you—only a little one,” he said with his usual delicacy, and without reading the factitiousness of her manner.
“Let me kiss you—just a little one,” he said with his usual gentleness, oblivious to the insincerity of her behavior.
“No; not one.”
“Nope; not a single one.”
“Only on your cheek?”
"Only on your cheek?"
“No.”
"No."
“Forehead?”
“Forehead?”
“Certainly not.”
"No way."
“You care for somebody else, then? Ah, I thought so!”
“You care about someone else, huh? I figured as much!”
“I am sure I do not.”
“I really don’t.”
“Nor for me either?”
"Not for me either?"
“How can I tell?” she said simply, the simplicity lying merely in the broad outlines of her manner and speech. There were the semitone of voice and half-hidden expression of eyes which tell the initiated how very fragile is the ice of reserve at these times.
“How can I tell?” she said simply, but the simplicity was only in the overall tone of her manner and speech. The nuances in her voice and the subtle expressions in her eyes revealed to those who understood just how delicate the ice of her reserve was at those moments.
Footsteps were heard. Mr. Swancourt then entered the room, and their private colloquy ended.
Footsteps were heard. Mr. Swancourt then walked into the room, and their private conversation ended.
The day after this partial revelation, Mr. Swancourt proposed a drive to the cliffs beyond Targan Bay, a distance of three or four miles.
The day after this partial revelation, Mr. Swancourt suggested a drive to the cliffs past Targan Bay, which was about three or four miles away.
Half an hour before the time of departure a crash was heard in the back yard, and presently Worm came in, saying partly to the world in general, partly to himself, and slightly to his auditors:
Half an hour before departure, a loud crash was heard in the backyard, and soon Worm walked in, talking partly to everyone, partly to himself, and a little to his audience:
“Ay, ay, sure! That frying of fish will be the end of William Worm. They be at it again this morning—same as ever—fizz, fizz, fizz!”
“Yeah, sure! That frying fish will be the end of William Worm. They're at it again this morning—just like always—fizz, fizz, fizz!”
“Your head bad again, Worm?” said Mr. Swancourt. “What was that noise we heard in the yard?”
“Feeling unwell again, Worm?” Mr. Swancourt asked. “What was that noise we heard outside?”
“Ay, sir, a weak wambling man am I; and the frying have been going on in my poor head all through the long night and this morning as usual; and I was so dazed wi’ it that down fell a piece of leg-wood across the shaft of the pony-shay, and splintered it off. ‘Ay,’ says I, ‘I feel it as if ’twas my own shay; and though I’ve done it, and parish pay is my lot if I go from here, perhaps I am as independent as one here and there.’”
"Yes, sir, I'm just a weak, stumbling man; and I've been struggling with my thoughts all night and this morning just like usual. I was so out of it that a piece of wood fell onto the shaft of the pony cart and broke it. 'Yeah,' I said, 'I feel it as if it were my own cart; and even though I caused it and I'll have to rely on the parish if I leave here, maybe I'm just as independent as some others.'"
“Dear me, the shaft of the carriage broken!” cried Elfride. She was disappointed: Stephen doubly so. The vicar showed more warmth of temper than the accident seemed to demand, much to Stephen’s uneasiness and rather to his surprise. He had not supposed so much latent sternness could co-exist with Mr. Swancourt’s frankness and good-nature.
“Goodness, the carriage shaft is broken!” exclaimed Elfride. She was disappointed, and Stephen was even more so. The vicar reacted with more anger than the situation seemed to warrant, which made Stephen uneasy and a bit surprised. He hadn’t expected such hidden sternness to exist alongside Mr. Swancourt’s openness and good nature.
“You shall not be disappointed,” said the vicar at length. “It is almost too long a distance for you to walk. Elfride can trot down on her pony, and you shall have my old nag, Smith.”
“You won’t be disappointed,” said the vicar after a while. “It’s quite a long distance for you to walk. Elfride can ride down on her pony, and you can take my old horse, Smith.”
Elfride exclaimed triumphantly, “You have never seen me on horseback—Oh, you must!” She looked at Stephen and read his thoughts immediately. “Ah, you don’t ride, Mr. Smith?”
Elfride exclaimed triumphantly, “You’ve never seen me on horseback—Oh, you have to!” She looked at Stephen and instantly understood his thoughts. “Ah, you don’t ride, Mr. Smith?”
“I am sorry to say I don’t.”
“I’m sorry to say I don’t.”
“Fancy a man not able to ride!” said she rather pertly.
“Can you believe a man can’t ride?” she said a bit snippily.
The vicar came to his rescue. “That’s common enough; he has had other lessons to learn. Now, I recommend this plan: let Elfride ride on horseback, and you, Mr. Smith, walk beside her.”
The vicar came to his rescue. “That’s pretty common; he has had other lessons to learn. Now, I suggest this plan: let Elfride ride on horseback, while you, Mr. Smith, walk beside her.”
The arrangement was welcomed with secret delight by Stephen. It seemed to combine in itself all the advantages of a long slow ramble with Elfride, without the contingent possibility of the enjoyment being spoilt by her becoming weary. The pony was saddled and brought round.
The arrangement was secretly welcomed by Stephen. It seemed to combine all the benefits of a long, leisurely walk with Elfride, without the risk of the fun being ruined by her getting tired. The pony was saddled and brought over.
“Now, Mr. Smith,” said the lady imperatively, coming downstairs, and appearing in her riding-habit, as she always did in a change of dress, like a new edition of a delightful volume, “you have a task to perform to-day. These earrings are my very favourite darling ones; but the worst of it is that they have such short hooks that they are liable to be dropped if I toss my head about much, and when I am riding I can’t give my mind to them. It would be doing me knight service if you keep your eyes fixed upon them, and remember them every minute of the day, and tell me directly I drop one. They have had such hairbreadth escapes, haven’t they, Unity?” she continued to the parlour-maid who was standing at the door.
“Now, Mr. Smith,” the lady said firmly, coming downstairs in her riding outfit, as she always did when changing clothes, like a new edition of a delightful book, “you have a task to handle today. These earrings are my absolute favorites; but the problem is that they have such short hooks that they could easily fall out if I move my head too much, and when I’m riding, I can’t focus on them. It would really be a great help if you could keep an eye on them, remember them every minute of the day, and let me know as soon as I drop one. They’ve had some close calls, haven’t they, Unity?” she added to the maid who was standing at the door.
“Yes, miss, that they have!” said Unity with round-eyed commiseration.
“Yes, miss, they really have!” said Unity with wide-eyed sympathy.
“Once ’twas in the lane that I found one of them,” pursued Elfride reflectively.
“Once it was in the lane that I found one of them,” Elfride continued thoughtfully.
“And then ’twas by the gate into Eighteen Acres,” Unity chimed in.
“And then it was by the gate into Eighteen Acres,” Unity added.
“And then ’twas on the carpet in my own room,” rejoined Elfride merrily.
“And then it was on the carpet in my own room,” Elfride replied cheerfully.
“And then ’twas dangling on the embroidery of your petticoat, miss; and then ’twas down your back, miss, wasn’t it? And oh, what a way you was in, miss, wasn’t you? my! until you found it!”
“And then it was hanging on the embroidery of your petticoat, miss; and then it was down your back, miss, wasn’t it? Oh, what a situation you were in, miss, wasn’t it? My! Until you found it!”
Stephen took Elfride’s slight foot upon his hand: “One, two, three, and up!” she said.
Stephen took Elfride’s little foot in his hand: “One, two, three, and up!” she said.
Unfortunately not so. He staggered and lifted, and the horse edged round; and Elfride was ultimately deposited upon the ground rather more forcibly than was pleasant. Smith looked all contrition.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. He stumbled and lifted, and the horse shifted; as a result, Elfride was unceremoniously dropped onto the ground, a bit more roughly than was comfortable. Smith looked completely regretful.
“Never mind,” said the vicar encouragingly; “try again! ’Tis a little accomplishment that requires some practice, although it looks so easy. Stand closer to the horse’s head, Mr. Smith.”
“Don’t worry,” said the vicar supportively; “give it another shot! It’s a small skill that takes some practice, even if it seems simple. Stand closer to the horse’s head, Mr. Smith.”
“Indeed, I shan’t let him try again,” said she with a microscopic look of indignation. “Worm, come here, and help me to mount.” Worm stepped forward, and she was in the saddle in a trice.
“Honestly, I won’t let him try again,” she said with a tiny look of anger. “Worm, come here and help me get on.” Worm stepped forward, and she was in the saddle in no time.
Then they moved on, going for some distance in silence, the hot air of the valley being occasionally brushed from their faces by a cool breeze, which wound its way along ravines leading up from the sea.
Then they continued on, walking for a while in silence, the hot air of the valley occasionally lifted from their faces by a cool breeze that flowed through the ravines coming from the sea.
“I suppose,” said Stephen, “that a man who can neither sit in a saddle himself nor help another person into one seems a useless incumbrance; but, Miss Swancourt, I’ll learn to do it all for your sake; I will, indeed.”
“I guess,” said Stephen, “that a man who can't sit in a saddle himself or help someone else into one seems pretty useless; but, Miss Swancourt, I’ll learn to do it all for you; I really will.”
“What is so unusual in you,” she said, in a didactic tone justifiable in a horsewoman’s address to a benighted walker, “is that your knowledge of certain things should be combined with your ignorance of certain other things.”
“What is so unusual about you,” she said, in a teaching tone justifiable in a horsewoman’s conversation with an uninformed walker, “is that your knowledge of certain things is mixed with your ignorance of other things.”
Stephen lifted his eyes earnestly to hers.
Stephen lifted his eyes sincerely to hers.
“You know,” he said, “it is simply because there are so many other things to be learnt in this wide world that I didn’t trouble about that particular bit of knowledge. I thought it would be useless to me; but I don’t think so now. I will learn riding, and all connected with it, because then you would like me better. Do you like me much less for this?”
“You know,” he said, “it’s just that there are so many other things to learn in this big world that I didn’t bother with that specific piece of knowledge. I thought it would be pointless for me; but I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ll learn to ride and everything related to it because then you’d like me more. Do you like me much less because of this?”
She looked sideways at him with critical meditation tenderly rendered.
She glanced at him with a thoughtful, critical expression.
“Do I seem like LA BELLE DAME SANS MERCI?” she began suddenly, without replying to his question. “Fancy yourself saying, Mr. Smith:
“Do I seem like the BEAUTIFUL LADY WITHOUT MERCY?” she suddenly asked, without answering his question. “Imagine yourself saying, Mr. Smith:
‘I sat her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A fairy’s song,
She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna dew;’
‘I placed her on my moving horse,
And didn’t notice anything else all day,
For she would lean to the side and sing
A fairy song,
She showed me sweet roots of flavor,
And wild honey, and heavenly dew;’
and that’s all she did.”
“and that’s all she did.”
“No, no,” said the young man stilly, and with a rising colour.
“No, no,” said the young man quietly, his face growing flushed.
“‘And sure in language strange she said,
I love thee true.’”
“‘And sure in a strange language she said,
I love you truly.’”
“Not at all,” she rejoined quickly. “See how I can gallop. Now, Pansy, off!” And Elfride started; and Stephen beheld her light figure contracting to the dimensions of a bird as she sank into the distance—her hair flowing.
“Not at all,” she replied quickly. “Watch how I can gallop. Now, Pansy, let’s go!” And Elfride took off; Stephen watched her slender figure shrink to the size of a bird as she disappeared into the distance—her hair flowing behind her.
He walked on in the same direction, and for a considerable time could see no signs of her returning. Dull as a flower without the sun he sat down upon a stone, and not for fifteen minutes was any sound of horse or rider to be heard. Then Elfride and Pansy appeared on the hill in a round trot.
He continued walking in the same direction, and for quite a while, he saw no signs of her coming back. Feeling as lifeless as a flower without sunlight, he sat down on a stone, and for at least fifteen minutes, he didn’t hear any sounds of horses or riders. Then Elfride and Pansy showed up on the hill, trotting in a steady rhythm.
“Such a delightful scamper as we have had!” she said, her face flushed and her eyes sparkling. She turned the horse’s head, Stephen arose, and they went on again.
“Such a fun little run we just had!” she said, her face flushed and her eyes sparkling. She turned the horse's head, Stephen stood up, and they continued on again.
“Well, what have you to say to me, Mr. Smith, after my long absence?”
“Well, what do you have to say to me, Mr. Smith, after my long absence?”
“Do you remember a question you could not exactly answer last night—whether I was more to you than anybody else?” said he.
“Do you remember the question you couldn’t quite answer last night—if I meant more to you than anyone else?” he said.
“I cannot exactly answer now, either.”
“I can’t really answer that right now, either.”
“Why can’t you?”
"What's stopping you?"
“Because I don’t know if I am more to you than any one else.”
“Because I don’t know if I mean more to you than anyone else.”
“Yes, indeed, you are!” he exclaimed in a voice of intensest appreciation, at the same time gliding round and looking into her face.
“Yes, you really are!” he said with deep appreciation, while moving around to look into her face.
“Eyes in eyes,” he murmured playfully; and she blushingly obeyed, looking back into his.
“Eye to eye,” he said playfully; and she blushed and complied, gazing back into his.
“And why not lips on lips?” continued Stephen daringly.
“And why not lips on lips?” Stephen continued boldly.
“No, certainly not. Anybody might look; and it would be the death of me. You may kiss my hand if you like.”
“No, definitely not. Anyone could see; and it would kill me. You can kiss my hand if you want.”
He expressed by a look that to kiss a hand through a glove, and that a riding-glove, was not a great treat under the circumstances.
He conveyed with a look that kissing a hand through a glove, especially a riding glove, wasn’t a big deal given the circumstances.
“There, then; I’ll take my glove off. Isn’t it a pretty white hand? Ah, you don’t want to kiss it, and you shall not now!”
“There, then; I’ll take my glove off. Isn’t it a pretty white hand? Ah, you don’t want to kiss it, and you won’t now!”
“If I do not, may I never kiss again, you severe Elfride! You know I think more of you than I can tell; that you are my queen. I would die for you, Elfride!”
“If I don’t, then I should never kiss again, you intense Elfride! You know I think more of you than I can express; that you are my queen. I would die for you, Elfride!”
A rapid red again filled her cheeks, and she looked at him meditatively. What a proud moment it was for Elfride then! She was ruling a heart with absolute despotism for the first time in her life.
A quick flush of red filled her cheeks again, and she looked at him thoughtfully. What a proud moment it was for Elfride then! She was completely in control of a heart for the first time in her life.
Stephen stealthily pounced upon her hand.
Stephen gently took her hand.
“No; I won’t, I won’t!” she said intractably; “and you shouldn’t take me by surprise.”
“No; I won’t, I won’t!” she said stubbornly; “and you shouldn’t catch me off guard.”
There ensued a mild form of tussle for absolute possession of the much-coveted hand, in which the boisterousness of boy and girl was far more prominent than the dignity of man and woman. Then Pansy became restless. Elfride recovered her position and remembered herself.
There was a playful struggle for the highly desired hand, where the excitement of the boy and girl overshadowed the seriousness of the man and woman. Then Pansy started to feel uneasy. Elfride regained her composure and collected herself.
“You make me behave in not a nice way at all!” she exclaimed, in a tone neither of pleasure nor anger, but partaking of both. “I ought not to have allowed such a romp! We are too old now for that sort of thing.”
“You make me act in a really bad way!” she exclaimed, in a tone that was neither happy nor angry, but a mix of both. “I shouldn’t have let us have such a wild time! We’re too old for that kind of stuff now.”
“I hope you don’t think me too—too much of a creeping-round sort of man,” said he in a penitent tone, conscious that he too had lost a little dignity by the proceeding.
“I hope you don’t think I’m too much of a sneaky kind of guy,” he said in a apologetic tone, aware that he had also lost a bit of his dignity in the process.
“You are too familiar; and I can’t have it! Considering the shortness of the time we have known each other, Mr. Smith, you take too much upon you. You think I am a country girl, and it doesn’t matter how you behave to me!”
“You're acting way too familiar, and I can't accept that! Given how little time we’ve known each other, Mr. Smith, you’re overstepping. You think I’m just a country girl, and that it doesn’t matter how you treat me!”
“I assure you, Miss Swancourt, that I had no idea of freak in my mind. I wanted to imprint a sweet—serious kiss upon your hand; and that’s all.”
“I promise you, Miss Swancourt, that I wasn’t thinking of anything strange. I just wanted to give your hand a gentle, heartfelt kiss; and that's it.”
“Now, that’s creeping round again! And you mustn’t look into my eyes so,” she said, shaking her head at him, and trotting on a few paces in advance. Thus she led the way out of the lane and across some fields in the direction of the cliffs. At the boundary of the fields nearest the sea she expressed a wish to dismount. The horse was tied to a post, and they both followed an irregular path, which ultimately terminated upon a flat ledge passing round the face of the huge blue-black rock at a height about midway between the sea and the topmost verge. There, far beneath and before them, lay the everlasting stretch of ocean; there, upon detached rocks, were the white screaming gulls, seeming ever intending to settle, and yet always passing on. Right and left ranked the toothed and zigzag line of storm-torn heights, forming the series which culminated in the one beneath their feet.
“Now, that’s creeping up again! And you shouldn't look into my eyes like that,” she said, shaking her head at him and trotting ahead a few paces. She led the way out of the lane and across some fields toward the cliffs. At the edge of the fields nearest the sea, she said she wanted to get off the horse. The horse was tied to a post, and they both followed a winding path that eventually led to a flat ledge around the face of the massive blue-black rock, about halfway between the sea and the top. There, far below and in front of them, was the endless stretch of ocean; on isolated rocks were the white, screaming gulls, appearing to want to settle but always moving on. On either side rose the jagged line of storm-battered heights, forming the series that peaked at the one beneath their feet.
Behind the youth and maiden was a tempting alcove and seat, formed naturally in the beetling mass, and wide enough to admit two or three persons. Elfride sat down, and Stephen sat beside her.
Behind the young man and woman was an inviting nook with a seat, shaped naturally in the rocky outcrop, and spacious enough for two or three people. Elfride took a seat, and Stephen sat next to her.
“I am afraid it is hardly proper of us to be here, either,” she said half inquiringly. “We have not known each other long enough for this kind of thing, have we!”
“I’m afraid it isn’t really appropriate for us to be here either,” she said, almost questioning. “We haven’t known each other long enough for this kind of thing, have we?”
“Oh yes,” he replied judicially; “quite long enough.”
“Oh yes,” he replied thoughtfully; “definitely long enough.”
“How do you know?”
"How do you know that?"
“It is not length of time, but the manner in which our minutes beat, that makes enough or not enough in our acquaintanceship.”
“It’s not how long we spend together, but how we experience those moments that determines if our friendship feels sufficient or lacking.”
“Yes, I see that. But I wish papa suspected or knew what a VERY NEW THING I am doing. He does not think of it at all.”
“Yes, I see that. But I wish Dad suspected or knew what a REALLY NEW THING I’m doing. He doesn’t think about it at all.”
“Darling Elfie, I wish we could be married! It is wrong for me to say it—I know it is—before you know more; but I wish we might be, all the same. Do you love me deeply, deeply?”
“Darling Elfie, I wish we could get married! I know it’s wrong for me to say this—I really do—before you know more; but I wish we could be, regardless. Do you love me deeply, deeply?”
“No!” she said in a fluster.
“No!” she said, flustered.
At this point-blank denial, Stephen turned his face away decisively, and preserved an ominous silence; the only objects of interest on earth for him being apparently the three or four-score sea-birds circling in the air afar off.
At this outright rejection, Stephen turned his face away firmly and fell into a heavy silence; the only things that seemed to catch his interest on earth were the three or four dozen sea-birds flying in the distance.
“I didn’t mean to stop you quite,” she faltered with some alarm; and seeing that he still remained silent, she added more anxiously, “If you say that again, perhaps, I will not be quite—quite so obstinate—if—if you don’t like me to be.”
“I didn’t mean to stop you at all,” she said, a bit worried; and noticing that he still didn’t say anything, she added more nervously, “If you say that again, maybe I won’t be so stubborn—if—if you don’t want me to be.”
“Oh, my Elfride!” he exclaimed, and kissed her.
“Oh, my Elfride!” he exclaimed, kissing her.
It was Elfride’s first kiss. And so awkward and unused was she; full of striving—no relenting. There was none of those apparent struggles to get out of the trap which only results in getting further in: no final attitude of receptivity: no easy close of shoulder to shoulder, hand upon hand, face upon face, and, in spite of coyness, the lips in the right place at the supreme moment. That graceful though apparently accidental falling into position, which many have noticed as precipitating the end and making sweethearts the sweeter, was not here. Why? Because experience was absent. A woman must have had many kisses before she kisses well.
It was Elfride's first kiss. She was so awkward and inexperienced, full of effort—without any ease. There were none of those obvious struggles to escape a situation that only lead to getting more entangled: no final openness to it all; no comfortable closeness of shoulder to shoulder, hand on hand, face to face, and, despite her shyness, the lips in just the right spot at the perfect moment. That graceful but seemingly accidental alignment that many have noticed as leading to the ending and making lovers even sweeter wasn't happening here. Why? Because she had no experience. A woman needs to have had many kisses before she kisses well.
In fact, the art of tendering the lips for these amatory salutes follows the principles laid down in treatises on legerdemain for performing the trick called Forcing a Card. The card is to be shifted nimbly, withdrawn, edged under, and withal not to be offered till the moment the unsuspecting person’s hand reaches the pack; this forcing to be done so modestly and yet so coaxingly, that the person trifled with imagines he is really choosing what is in fact thrust into his hand.
In fact, the art of leaning in for these romantic gestures follows the principles outlined in guides on sleight of hand for performing the trick known as Forcing a Card. The card should be moved quickly, pulled out, slipped underneath, and only presented when the unsuspecting person's hand reaches for the deck; this forcing should be done so subtly and enticingly that the person being played with thinks they are truly picking what is actually pushed into their hand.
Well, there were no such facilities now; and Stephen was conscious of it—first with a momentary regret that his kiss should be spoilt by her confused receipt of it, and then with the pleasant perception that her awkwardness was her charm.
Well, those facilities didn't exist anymore; and Stephen was aware of it—first feeling a brief regret that his kiss was ruined by her confused response to it, and then with the nice realization that her awkwardness was actually part of her charm.
“And you do care for me and love me?” said he.
“And you really care about me and love me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
“Very much?”
"Really?"
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“And I mustn’t ask you if you’ll wait for me, and be my wife some day?”
“And I shouldn't ask you if you'll wait for me and be my wife one day?”
“Why not?” she said naively.
“Why not?” she said innocently.
“There is a reason why, my Elfride.”
“There’s a reason for this, my Elfride.”
“Not any one that I know of.”
"Not someone I know."
“Suppose there is something connected with me which makes it almost impossible for you to agree to be my wife, or for your father to countenance such an idea?”
“Imagine there’s something related to me that makes it nearly impossible for you to agree to marry me, or for your father to accept that idea?”
“Nothing shall make me cease to love you: no blemish can be found upon your personal nature. That is pure and generous, I know; and having that, how can I be cold to you?”
“Nothing will make me stop loving you: there’s no flaw in who you are. You're pure and generous, and knowing that, how can I not be warm towards you?”
“And shall nothing else affect us—shall nothing beyond my nature be a part of my quality in your eyes, Elfie?”
“And will nothing else influence us—will nothing outside of my nature be a part of how you see me, Elfie?”
“Nothing whatever,” she said with a breath of relief. “Is that all? Some outside circumstance? What do I care?”
“Not a thing,” she said with a sigh of relief. “Is that it? Just some outside issue? What do I care?”
“You can hardly judge, dear, till you know what has to be judged. For that, we will stop till we get home. I believe in you, but I cannot feel bright.”
“You can hardly judge, dear, until you know what needs to be judged. For that, we’ll wait until we get home. I believe in you, but I can’t feel optimistic.”
“Love is new, and fresh to us as the dew; and we are together. As the lover’s world goes, this is a great deal. Stephen, I fancy I see the difference between me and you—between men and women generally, perhaps. I am content to build happiness on any accidental basis that may lie near at hand; you are for making a world to suit your happiness.”
“Love is new and refreshing to us like the morning dew, and we’re together. In the realm of love, this means a lot. Stephen, I think I see the difference between you and me—maybe between men and women in general. I’m okay with creating happiness from whatever convenient chance comes my way; you prefer to construct a world that fits your happiness.”
“Elfride, you sometimes say things which make you seem suddenly to become five years older than you are, or than I am; and that remark is one. I couldn’t think so OLD as that, try how I might....And no lover has ever kissed you before?”
“Elfride, sometimes you say things that make you sound like you're suddenly five years older than you are, or than I am; and that comment is one of those. I couldn’t imagine being that OLD, no matter how hard I try... And no one has ever kissed you before?”
“Never.”
"Never."
“I knew that; you were so unused. You ride well, but you don’t kiss nicely at all; and I was told once, by my friend Knight, that that is an excellent fault in woman.”
“I knew that; you were so inexperienced. You ride well, but you don’t kiss well at all; and my friend Knight once told me that’s actually a great flaw in a woman.”
“Now, come; I must mount again, or we shall not be home by dinner-time.” And they returned to where Pansy stood tethered. “Instead of entrusting my weight to a young man’s unstable palm,” she continued gaily, “I prefer a surer ‘upping-stock’ (as the villagers call it), in the form of a gate. There—now I am myself again.”
“Come on; I need to get back on or we won't be home by dinner.” They went back to where Pansy was tied up. “Instead of relying on a young man's unsteady hands,” she said playfully, “I’d rather have a more reliable 'upping-stock' (as the locals say), like a gate. There—now I feel like myself again.”
They proceeded homeward at the same walking pace.
They walked home at the same pace.
Her blitheness won Stephen out of his thoughtfulness, and each forgot everything but the tone of the moment.
Her cheerfulness pulled Stephen out of his deep thoughts, and they both forgot everything except the mood of the moment.
“What did you love me for?” she said, after a long musing look at a flying bird.
“What did you love me for?” she asked, after staring thoughtfully at a bird in flight.
“I don’t know,” he replied idly.
“I don’t know,” he said casually.
“Oh yes, you do,” insisted Elfride.
“Oh yes, you do,” insisted Elfride.
“Perhaps, for your eyes.”
"Maybe, for your eyes."
“What of them?—now, don’t vex me by a light answer. What of my eyes?”
“What about them? —now, don't annoy me with a casual reply. What about my eyes?”
“Oh, nothing to be mentioned. They are indifferently good.”
“Oh, nothing worth mentioning. They’re just okay.”
“Come, Stephen, I won’t have that. What did you love me for?”
“Come on, Stephen, I can’t accept that. What was it that you loved me for?”
“It might have been for your mouth?”
“It could have been for your mouth?”
“Well, what about my mouth?”
“Well, what about my lips?”
“I thought it was a passable mouth enough——”
“I thought it was a decent mouth enough——”
“That’s not very comforting.”
"That's not very reassuring."
“With a pretty pout and sweet lips; but actually, nothing more than what everybody has.”
“With a cute pout and nice lips; but really, nothing more than what everyone else has.”
“Don’t make up things out of your head as you go on, there’s a dear Stephen. Now—what—did—you—love—me—for?”
"Don’t just make things up as you go, dear Stephen. Now—what—did—you—love—me—for?"
“Perhaps, ’twas for your neck and hair; though I am not sure: or for your idle blood, that did nothing but wander away from your cheeks and back again; but I am not sure. Or your hands and arms, that they eclipsed all other hands and arms; or your feet, that they played about under your dress like little mice; or your tongue, that it was of a dear delicate tone. But I am not altogether sure.”
“Maybe it was for your neck and hair; I'm not really sure. Or maybe for your restless energy that just kept drifting away from your cheeks and back again; but I can't say for sure. Or perhaps it was your hands and arms, which outshone all others; or your feet, that moved around under your dress like little mice; or your tongue, which had a sweet, delicate tone. But I'm still not completely sure.”
“Ah, that’s pretty to say; but I don’t care for your love, if it made a mere flat picture of me in that way, and not being sure, and such cold reasoning; but what you FELT I was, you know, Stephen” (at this a stealthy laugh and frisky look into his face), “when you said to yourself, ‘I’ll certainly love that young lady.’”
“Ah, that sounds nice to say; but I don’t care for your love if it just turns me into a flat image like that, with uncertainty and all that cold reasoning; but what you FELT I was, you know, Stephen” (at this, a sly laugh and playful look into his face), “when you told yourself, ‘I’m definitely going to love that young lady.’”
“I never said it.”
"I never said that."
“When you said to yourself, then, ‘I never will love that young lady.’”
“When you told yourself, ‘I will never love that young lady.’”
“I didn’t say that, either.”
"I didn't say that, either."
“Then was it, ‘I suppose I must love that young lady?’”
“Then it was, ‘I guess I have to love that young lady?’”
“No.”
“No.”
“What, then?”
"What's next?"
“’Twas much more fluctuating—not so definite.”
“It was much more changeable—not so certain.”
“Tell me; do, do.”
"Tell me; please do."
“It was that I ought not to think about you if I loved you truly.”
“It was that I shouldn’t think about you if I really loved you.”
“Ah, that I don’t understand. There’s no getting it out of you. And I’ll not ask you ever any more—never more—to say out of the deep reality of your heart what you loved me for.”
“Ah, I don’t get it. There’s no way to figure it out from you. And I won’t ever ask you again—never again—to share from the depths of your heart what it was that you loved me for.”
“Sweet tantalizer, what’s the use? It comes to this sole simple thing: That at one time I had never seen you, and I didn’t love you; that then I saw you, and I did love you. Is that enough?”
“Sweet temptress, what’s the point? It all comes down to this simple fact: At one time, I had never seen you, and I didn’t love you; then I saw you, and I did love you. Is that enough?”
“Yes; I will make it do....I know, I think, what I love you for. You are nice-looking, of course; but I didn’t mean for that. It is because you are so docile and gentle.”
“Yes; I’ll make it work.... I know, I think, why I love you. You’re good-looking, sure; but that’s not it. It’s because you’re so gentle and easygoing.”
“Those are not quite the correct qualities for a man to be loved for,” said Stephen, in rather a dissatisfied tone of self-criticism. “Well, never mind. I must ask your father to allow us to be engaged directly we get indoors. It will be for a long time.”
“Those aren’t exactly the right qualities for a man to be loved for,” said Stephen, in a somewhat unhappy tone of self-criticism. “Well, never mind. I need to ask your father to let us get engaged as soon as we go inside. It will last a long time.”
“I like it the better....Stephen, don’t mention it till to-morrow.”
“I like it better....Stephen, don’t bring it up until tomorrow.”
“Why?”
"Why?"
“Because, if he should object—I don’t think he will; but if he should—we shall have a day longer of happiness from our ignorance....Well, what are you thinking of so deeply?”
“Because, if he objects—I don’t think he will; but if he does—we’ll have one more day of happiness from our ignorance....Well, what are you thinking about so much?”
“I was thinking how my dear friend Knight would enjoy this scene. I wish he could come here.”
“I was thinking about how much my dear friend Knight would enjoy this scene. I wish he could be here.”
“You seem very much engrossed with him,” she answered, with a jealous little toss. “He must be an interesting man to take up so much of your attention.”
“You seem really into him,” she replied, with a jealous little toss of her head. “He must be an interesting guy to hold so much of your attention.”
“Interesting!” said Stephen, his face glowing with his fervour; “noble, you ought to say.”
“Interesting!” Stephen exclaimed, his face shining with enthusiasm. “You should say noble.”
“Oh yes, yes; I forgot,” she said half satirically. “The noblest man in England, as you told us last night.”
“Oh yes, yes; I forgot,” she said half-jokingly. “The greatest man in England, as you told us last night.”
“He is a fine fellow, laugh as you will, Miss Elfie.”
“He's a great guy, laugh all you want, Miss Elfie.”
“I know he is your hero. But what does he do? anything?”
“I know he's your hero. But what does he actually do? Anything?”
“He writes.”
"He writes."
“What does he write? I have never heard of his name.”
“What does he write? I've never heard of him.”
“Because his personality, and that of several others like him, is absorbed into a huge WE, namely, the impalpable entity called the PRESENT—a social and literary Review.”
“Because his personality, along with those of several others like him, is absorbed into a huge WE, which is the intangible entity called the PRESENT—a social and literary Review.”
“Is he only a reviewer?”
“Is he just a reviewer?”
“ONLY, Elfie! Why, I can tell you it is a fine thing to be on the staff of the PRESENT. Finer than being a novelist considerably.”
“ONLY, Elfie! I can tell you it’s great to be on the staff of the PRESENT. Way better than being a novelist, for sure.”
“That’s a hit at me, and my poor COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE.”
“That’s a jab at me and my poor COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE.”
“No, Elfride,” he whispered; “I didn’t mean that. I mean that he is really a literary man of some eminence, and not altogether a reviewer. He writes things of a higher class than reviews, though he reviews a book occasionally. His ordinary productions are social and ethical essays—all that the PRESENT contains which is not literary reviewing.”
“No, Elfride,” he whispered; “I didn’t mean that. I mean that he is truly a respected literary figure, and not just a reviewer. He writes pieces that are more sophisticated than reviews, although he does occasionally review a book. His usual works are social and ethical essays—everything the PRESENT features that isn’t literary reviewing.”
“I admit he must be talented if he writes for the PRESENT. We have it sent to us irregularly. I want papa to be a subscriber, but he’s so conservative. Now the next point in this Mr. Knight—I suppose he is a very good man.”
“I admit he must be talented if he writes for the PRESENT. We get it sent to us irregularly. I want Dad to subscribe, but he’s so traditional. Now the next point about Mr. Knight—I guess he’s a really good guy.”
“An excellent man. I shall try to be his intimate friend some day.”
“An amazing guy. I hope to be close friends with him someday.”
“But aren’t you now?”
“But aren’t you anymore?”
“No; not so much as that,” replied Stephen, as if such a supposition were extravagant. “You see, it was in this way—he came originally from the same place as I, and taught me things; but I am not intimate with him. Shan’t I be glad when I get richer and better known, and hob and nob with him!” Stephen’s eyes sparkled.
“No, not at all,” Stephen replied, as if that idea was ridiculous. “Here’s how it is—he comes from the same place I do and taught me some things, but we’re not close. I can’t wait to get richer and more well-known so I can hang out with him!” Stephen's eyes sparkled.
A pout began to shape itself upon Elfride’s soft lips. “You think always of him, and like him better than you do me!”
A pout started forming on Elfride’s soft lips. “You always think about him, and you like him better than you like me!”
“No, indeed, Elfride. The feeling is different quite. But I do like him, and he deserves even more affection from me than I give.”
“No, really, Elfride. The feeling is totally different. But I do like him, and he deserves even more affection from me than I’m giving him.”
“You are not nice now, and you make me as jealous as possible!” she exclaimed perversely. “I know you will never speak to any third person of me so warmly as you do to me of him.”
“You're not being nice right now, and you're making me super jealous!” she exclaimed with a hint of spite. “I know you'll never talk about me to anyone else as warmly as you do about him to me.”
“But you don’t understand, Elfride,” he said with an anxious movement. “You shall know him some day. He is so brilliant—no, it isn’t exactly brilliant; so thoughtful—nor does thoughtful express him—that it would charm you to talk to him. He’s a most desirable friend, and that isn’t half I could say.”
“But you don’t get it, Elfride,” he said, shifting nervously. “You’ll get to know him someday. He’s so sharp—no, that’s not quite right; he’s really insightful—but that still doesn’t capture him. You’d be captivated just talking to him. He’s an incredibly valuable friend, and that’s only the beginning of what I could say.”
“I don’t care how good he is; I don’t want to know him, because he comes between me and you. You think of him night and day, ever so much more than of anybody else; and when you are thinking of him, I am shut out of your mind.”
“I don’t care how great he is; I don’t want to know him because he gets in the way of us. You think about him constantly, way more than anyone else; and when you’re thinking of him, I’m completely pushed out of your mind.”
“No, dear Elfride; I love you dearly.”
“No, dear Elfride; I love you so much.”
“And I don’t like you to tell me so warmly about him when you are in the middle of loving me. Stephen, suppose that I and this man Knight of yours were both drowning, and you could only save one of us——”
“And I don’t like it when you talk about him so fondly while you’re in the middle of loving me. Stephen, what if both I and your man Knight were drowning, and you could only save one of us——”
“Yes—the stupid old proposition—which would I save?
“Yes—the ridiculous old question—which one would I save?
“Well, which? Not me.”
"Well, not me."
“Both of you,” he said, pressing her pendent hand.
“Both of you,” he said, holding her hand tightly.
“No, that won’t do; only one of us.”
“No, that won’t work; just one of us.”
“I cannot say; I don’t know. It is disagreeable—quite a horrid idea to have to handle.”
“I can't say; I don't know. It's unpleasant—really a terrible idea to deal with.”
“A-ha, I know. You would save him, and let me drown, drown, drown; and I don’t care about your love!”
“A-ha, I get it. You’d rescue him and leave me to drown, drown, drown; and I don’t care about your love!”
She had endeavoured to give a playful tone to her words, but the latter speech was rather forced in its gaiety.
She had tried to make her words sound playful, but her last comment came off as a bit forced in its cheerfulness.
At this point in the discussion she trotted off to turn a corner which was avoided by the footpath, the road and the path reuniting at a point a little further on. On again making her appearance she continually managed to look in a direction away from him, and left him in the cool shade of her displeasure. Stephen was soon beaten at this game of indifference. He went round and entered the range of her vision.
At this point in the conversation, she walked off to turn a corner that the footpath avoided, with the road and the path coming together a little further ahead. When she reappeared, she consistently looked away from him, leaving him in the cool shade of her annoyance. Stephen quickly lost at this game of indifference. He went around and stepped into her line of sight.
“Are you offended, Elfie? Why don’t you talk?”
“Are you upset, Elfie? Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Save me, then, and let that Mr. Clever of yours drown. I hate him. Now, which would you?”
“Save me then, and let that Mr. Clever of yours drown. I can't stand him. So, which would you choose?”
“Really, Elfride, you should not press such a hard question. It is ridiculous.”
“Honestly, Elfride, you shouldn’t ask such a tough question. It’s silly.”
“Then I won’t be alone with you any more. Unkind, to wound me so!” She laughed at her own absurdity but persisted.
“Then I won’t be alone with you anymore. That’s cruel, to hurt me like that!” She laughed at her own ridiculousness but kept on.
“Come, Elfie, let’s make it up and be friends.”
“Come on, Elfie, let’s patch things up and be friends.”
“Say you would save me, then, and let him drown.”
“Say you would save me, then, and let him drown.”
“I would save you—and him too.”
“I would save you—and him as well.”
“And let him drown. Come, or you don’t love me!” she teasingly went on.
“And let him drown. Come on, or you don’t love me!” she playfully continued.
“And let him drown,” he ejaculated despairingly.
“And let him drown,” he said in despair.
“There; now I am yours!” she said, and a woman’s flush of triumph lit her eyes.
“There; now I’m yours!” she said, and a woman's flush of triumph lit up her eyes.
“Only one earring, miss, as I’m alive,” said Unity on their entering the hall.
“Just one earring, miss, as I’m still here,” said Unity as they walked into the hall.
With a face expressive of wretched misgiving, Elfride’s hand flew like an arrow to her ear.
With a face full of deep concern, Elfride's hand shot up to her ear.
“There!” she exclaimed to Stephen, looking at him with eyes full of reproach.
“There!” she said to Stephen, looking at him with eyes full of disappointment.
“I quite forgot, indeed. If I had only remembered!” he answered, with a conscience-stricken face.
“I totally forgot, really. If only I had remembered!” he replied, looking guilty.
She wheeled herself round, and turned into the shrubbery. Stephen followed.
She turned her wheelchair and entered the bushes. Stephen followed.
“If you had told me to watch anything, Stephen, I should have religiously done it,” she capriciously went on, as soon as she heard him behind her.
“If you had told me to watch anything, Stephen, I would have done it without question,” she whimsically continued as soon as she heard him behind her.
“Forgetting is forgivable.”
"Forgetfulness is understandable."
“Well, you will find it, if you want me to respect you and be engaged to you when we have asked papa.” She considered a moment, and added more seriously, “I know now where I dropped it, Stephen. It was on the cliff. I remember a faint sensation of some change about me, but I was too absent to think of it then. And that’s where it is now, and you must go and look there.”
“Well, you’ll find it if you want me to respect you and be engaged to you after we’ve talked to dad.” She thought for a moment and then added more seriously, “I know where I lost it, Stephen. It was on the cliff. I remember feeling something shift around me, but I was too distracted to think about it then. That’s where it is now, and you need to go and check there.”
“I’ll go at once.”
"I'll go right away."
And he strode away up the valley, under a broiling sun and amid the deathlike silence of early afternoon. He ascended, with giddy-paced haste, the windy range of rocks to where they had sat, felt and peered about the stones and crannies, but Elfride’s stray jewel was nowhere to be seen. Next Stephen slowly retraced his steps, and, pausing at a cross-road to reflect a while, he left the plateau and struck downwards across some fields, in the direction of Endelstow House.
And he walked away up the valley, under a scorching sun and in the eerie silence of early afternoon. He hurried up the windy slope of rocks to where they had sat, felt around the stones and crevices, but Elfride’s lost jewel was nowhere to be found. Next, Stephen slowly made his way back, and, stopping at a crossroad to think for a bit, he left the plateau and headed down across some fields toward Endelstow House.
He walked along the path by the river without the slightest hesitation as to its bearing, apparently quite familiar with every inch of the ground. As the shadows began to lengthen and the sunlight to mellow, he passed through two wicket-gates, and drew near the outskirts of Endelstow Park. The river now ran along under the park fence, previous to entering the grove itself, a little further on.
He walked along the path by the river without any hesitation about where it was going, clearly familiar with every bit of the ground. As the shadows started to lengthen and the sunlight softened, he passed through two gates and approached the edge of Endelstow Park. The river now flowed along under the park fence before entering the grove a little further ahead.
Here stood a cottage, between the fence and the stream, on a slightly elevated spot of ground, round which the river took a turn. The characteristic feature of this snug habitation was its one chimney in the gable end, its squareness of form disguised by a huge cloak of ivy, which had grown so luxuriantly and extended so far from its base, as to increase the apparent bulk of the chimney to the dimensions of a tower. Some little distance from the back of the house rose the park boundary, and over this were to be seen the sycamores of the grove, making slow inclinations to the just-awakening air.
Here stood a cottage, between the fence and the stream, on a slightly raised piece of land, where the river curved. The standout feature of this cozy home was its single chimney on the gable end, its square shape hidden by a thick curtain of ivy that had grown so lush and far from its base that it made the chimney look as big as a tower. A bit farther back from the house was the boundary of the park, where the sycamores of the grove could be seen gently swaying in the waking breeze.
Stephen crossed the little wood bridge in front, went up to the cottage door, and opened it without knock or signal of any kind.
Stephen walked across the small wooden bridge in front, approached the cottage door, and opened it without knocking or signaling in any way.
Exclamations of welcome burst from some person or persons when the door was thrust ajar, followed by the scrape of chairs on a stone floor, as if pushed back by their occupiers in rising from a table. The door was closed again, and nothing could now be heard from within, save a lively chatter and the rattle of plates.
Exclamations of welcome erupted from someone when the door swung open, followed by the sound of chairs scraping against the stone floor as people stood up from the table. The door closed again, and now the only sounds coming from inside were cheerful chatter and the clinking of plates.
Chapter VIII
“Allen-a-Dale is no baron or lord.”
“Allen-a-Dale is neither a baron nor a lord.”
The mists were creeping out of pools and swamps for their pilgrimages of the night when Stephen came up to the front door of the vicarage. Elfride was standing on the step illuminated by a lemon-hued expanse of western sky.
The mists were creeping out of pools and swamps for their nightly journeys when Stephen reached the front door of the vicarage. Elfride was standing on the step, lit by a pale yellow stretch of the western sky.
“You never have been all this time looking for that earring?” she said anxiously.
“You've been looking for that earring all this time?” she said anxiously.
“Oh no; and I have not found it.”
“Oh no; and I still haven't found it.”
“Never mind. Though I am much vexed; they are my prettiest. But, Stephen, what ever have you been doing—where have you been? I have been so uneasy. I feared for you, knowing not an inch of the country. I thought, suppose he has fallen over the cliff! But now I am inclined to scold you for frightening me so.”
“Forget it. Even though I'm really annoyed; they’re my favorite. But, Stephen, what have you been up to—where have you been? I've been so worried. I feared for you, not knowing anything about the area. I thought, what if you fell off the cliff! But now I feel like scolding you for making me so anxious.”
“I must speak to your father now,” he said rather abruptly; “I have so much to say to him—and to you, Elfride.”
“I need to talk to your dad now,” he said somewhat abruptly; “I have a lot to say to him—and to you, Elfride.”
“Will what you have to say endanger this nice time of ours, and is it that same shadowy secret you allude to so frequently, and will it make me unhappy?”
“Will what you have to say ruin this nice time we're having, is it that same mysterious secret you keep bringing up, and is it going to make me unhappy?”
“Possibly.”
"Maybe."
She breathed heavily, and looked around as if for a prompter.
She breathed heavily and looked around as if searching for someone to give her a cue.
“Put it off till to-morrow,” she said.
“Put it off until tomorrow,” she said.
He involuntarily sighed too.
He also sighed involuntarily.
“No; it must come to-night. Where is your father, Elfride?”
“No; it has to happen tonight. Where is your dad, Elfride?”
“Somewhere in the kitchen garden, I think,” she replied. “That is his favourite evening retreat. I will leave you now. Say all that’s to be said—do all there is to be done. Think of me waiting anxiously for the end.” And she re-entered the house.
“Somewhere in the kitchen garden, I think,” she replied. “That’s his favorite place to unwind in the evening. I’ll leave you now. Say everything that needs to be said—do all that needs to be done. Think of me waiting anxiously for it to be over.” And she went back into the house.
She waited in the drawing-room, watching the lights sink to shadows, the shadows sink to darkness, until her impatience to know what had occurred in the garden could no longer be controlled. She passed round the shrubbery, unlatched the garden door, and skimmed with her keen eyes the whole twilighted space that the four walls enclosed and sheltered: they were not there. She mounted a little ladder, which had been used for gathering fruit, and looked over the wall into the field. This field extended to the limits of the glebe, which was enclosed on that side by a privet-hedge. Under the hedge was Mr. Swancourt, walking up and down, and talking aloud—to himself, as it sounded at first. No: another voice shouted occasional replies; and this interlocutor seemed to be on the other side of the hedge. The voice, though soft in quality, was not Stephen’s.
She waited in the living room, watching the lights fade into shadows, the shadows fade into darkness, until her impatience to find out what had happened in the garden became unbearable. She walked around the bushes, unlatched the garden door, and quickly scanned the entire twilight space enclosed by the four walls: they weren’t there. She climbed a small ladder, which had been used for picking fruit, and looked over the wall into the field. This field stretched to the boundary of the land, which was bordered on that side by a privet hedge. Under the hedge was Mr. Swancourt, walking back and forth and talking out loud—at first, it sounded like he was talking to himself. But no: another voice responded occasionally; this other person seemed to be on the other side of the hedge. The voice, although soft, was not Stephen’s.
The second speaker must have been in the long-neglected garden of an old manor-house hard by, which, together with a small estate attached, had lately been purchased by a person named Troyton, whom Elfride had never seen. Her father might have struck up an acquaintanceship with some member of that family through the privet-hedge, or a stranger to the neighbourhood might have wandered thither.
The second speaker must have been in the long-neglected garden of an old manor house nearby, which, along with a small estate, had recently been bought by someone named Troyton, whom Elfride had never met. Her father might have made friends with someone from that family over the privet hedge, or a stranger to the area might have wandered over.
Well, there was no necessity for disturbing him.
Well, there was no need to disturb him.
And it seemed that, after all, Stephen had not yet made his desired communication to her father. Again she went indoors, wondering where Stephen could be. For want of something better to do, she went upstairs to her own little room. Here she sat down at the open window, and, leaning with her elbow on the table and her cheek upon her hand, she fell into meditation.
And it seemed that, after all, Stephen still hadn't made the message he wanted to share with her dad. She went back inside, curious about where Stephen might be. With nothing else to occupy her, she went upstairs to her small room. There, she sat at the open window, resting her elbow on the table and her cheek on her hand, and she began to daydream.
It was a hot and still August night. Every disturbance of the silence which rose to the dignity of a noise could be heard for miles, and the merest sound for a long distance. So she remained, thinking of Stephen, and wishing he had not deprived her of his company to no purpose, as it appeared. How delicate and sensitive he was, she reflected; and yet he was man enough to have a private mystery, which considerably elevated him in her eyes. Thus, looking at things with an inward vision, she lost consciousness of the flight of time.
It was a hot and calm August night. Any noise that broke the silence could be heard for miles, and even the faintest sounds carried far. So she stayed there, thinking about Stephen and wishing he hadn't left her alone for no reason, or so it seemed. She thought about how delicate and sensitive he was; yet he was strong enough to have his own private mystery, which made her admire him even more. Lost in her thoughts, she lost track of time.
Strange conjunctions of circumstances, particularly those of a trivial everyday kind, are so frequent in an ordinary life, that we grow used to their unaccountableness, and forget the question whether the very long odds against such juxtaposition is not almost a disproof of it being a matter of chance at all. What occurred to Elfride at this moment was a case in point. She was vividly imagining, for the twentieth time, the kiss of the morning, and putting her lips together in the position another such a one would demand, when she heard the identical operation performed on the lawn, immediately beneath her window.
Strange combinations of circumstances, especially the trivial ones we encounter every day, happen so often in ordinary life that we become accustomed to their randomness and forget to question whether the very long odds against such situations occurring are enough to argue that it isn't just chance. What happened to Elfride at that moment is a perfect example. She was vividly imagining, for the twentieth time, the kiss from the morning and pressing her lips together in the way that another kiss would require when she heard the exact same sound happening on the lawn right below her window.
A kiss—not of the quiet and stealthy kind, but decisive, loud, and smart.
A kiss—not a quiet and sneaky one, but bold, vibrant, and purposeful.
Her face flushed and she looked out, but to no purpose. The dark rim of the upland drew a keen sad line against the pale glow of the sky, unbroken except where a young cedar on the lawn, that had outgrown its fellow trees, shot its pointed head across the horizon, piercing the firmamental lustre like a sting.
Her face turned red and she looked outside, but it was in vain. The dark outline of the hills created a sharp, sad contrast against the faint light of the sky, uninterrupted except for a young cedar in the yard, which had grown taller than the other trees, jutting its pointed top into the horizon, piercing the evening glow like a needle.
It was just possible that, had any persons been standing on the grassy portions of the lawn, Elfride might have seen their dusky forms. But the shrubs, which once had merely dotted the glade, had now grown bushy and large, till they hid at least half the enclosure containing them. The kissing pair might have been behind some of these; at any rate, nobody was in sight.
It was possible that if anyone had been standing on the grassy areas of the lawn, Elfride might have seen their dark shapes. But the shrubs, which had once just scattered the glade, had now grown thick and large, hiding at least half the space around them. The couple kissing might have been behind some of these; in any case, there was no one in sight.
Had no enigma ever been connected with her lover by his hints and absences, Elfride would never have thought of admitting into her mind a suspicion that he might be concerned in the foregoing enactment. But the reservations he at present insisted on, while they added to the mystery without which perhaps she would never have seriously loved him at all, were calculated to nourish doubts of all kinds, and with a slow flush of jealousy she asked herself, might he not be the culprit?
Had there never been any mystery surrounding her boyfriend due to his hints and absences, Elfride would never have considered the possibility that he might be involved in what had just happened. However, the secrets he was now insisting on, while adding to the intrigue that perhaps made her fall for him in the first place, were also fueling all sorts of doubts. As a wave of jealousy washed over her, she couldn't help but wonder, could he be the one responsible?
Elfride glided downstairs on tiptoe, and out to the precise spot on which she had parted from Stephen to enable him to speak privately to her father. Thence she wandered into all the nooks around the place from which the sound seemed to proceed—among the huge laurestines, about the tufts of pampas grasses, amid the variegated hollies, under the weeping wych-elm—nobody was there. Returning indoors she called “Unity!”
Elfride quietly tiptoed downstairs and went to the exact spot where she had said goodbye to Stephen so he could talk to her dad privately. From there, she explored all the nearby corners where the sound seemed to be coming from—among the large laurestines, around the pampas grass clumps, among the colorful hollies, and under the weeping wych-elm—nobody was there. When she went back inside, she called out, “Unity!”
“She is gone to her aunt’s, to spend the evening,” said Mr. Swancourt, thrusting his head out of his study door, and letting the light of his candles stream upon Elfride’s face—less revealing than, as it seemed to herself, creating the blush of uneasy perplexity that was burning upon her cheek.
“She’s gone to her aunt’s to spend the evening,” said Mr. Swancourt, sticking his head out of his study door and letting the light from his candles shine on Elfride’s face—less revealing than she thought it was, creating a blush of uncomfortable confusion that was burning on her cheek.
“I didn’t know you were indoors, papa,” she said with surprise. “Surely no light was shining from the window when I was on the lawn?” and she looked and saw that the shutters were still open.
“I didn’t know you were inside, dad,” she said, surprised. “Surely no light was coming from the window when I was on the lawn?” She looked and saw that the shutters were still open.
“Oh yes, I am in,” he said indifferently. “What did you want Unity for? I think she laid supper before she went out.”
“Oh yeah, I'm in,” he said casually. “What did you need Unity for? I think she set the table before she left.”
“Did she?—I have not been to see—I didn’t want her for that.”
“Did she?—I haven’t checked—I didn’t want her for that.”
Elfride scarcely knew, now that a definite reason was required, what that reason was. Her mind for a moment strayed to another subject, unimportant as it seemed. The red ember of a match was lying inside the fender, which explained that why she had seen no rays from the window was because the candles had only just been lighted.
Elfride barely knew what the specific reason was now that one was needed. For a moment, her thoughts wandered to something else, seemingly trivial. The red ember of a match lay inside the fender, which explained why she hadn't seen any light from the window—it was because the candles had just been lit.
“I’ll come directly,” said the vicar. “I thought you were out somewhere with Mr. Smith.”
“I’ll come right over,” said the vicar. “I thought you were out with Mr. Smith.”
Even the inexperienced Elfride could not help thinking that her father must be wonderfully blind if he failed to perceive what was the nascent consequence of herself and Stephen being so unceremoniously left together; wonderfully careless, if he saw it and did not think about it; wonderfully good, if, as seemed to her by far the most probable supposition, he saw it and thought about it and approved of it. These reflections were cut short by the appearance of Stephen just outside the porch, silvered about the head and shoulders with touches of moonlight, that had begun to creep through the trees.
Even the inexperienced Elfride couldn’t help but think that her father must be incredibly blind if he didn’t see the potential outcome of her and Stephen being so casually left alone together; incredibly careless, if he noticed it and didn’t think twice; or incredibly kind, if, as she believed was most likely, he saw it, considered it, and approved. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Stephen just outside the porch, illuminated by the moonlight that was starting to filter through the trees.
“Has your trouble anything to do with a kiss on the lawn?” she asked abruptly, almost passionately.
“Does your problem have anything to do with a kiss on the lawn?” she asked suddenly, almost with feeling.
“Kiss on the lawn?”
“Kiss on the grass?”
“Yes!” she said, imperiously now.
“Yes!” she said, confidently now.
“I didn’t comprehend your meaning, nor do I now exactly. I certainly have kissed nobody on the lawn, if that is really what you want to know, Elfride.”
“I don’t understand what you mean, and I still don’t really get it. I definitely haven’t kissed anyone on the lawn, if that’s what you really want to know, Elfride.”
“You know nothing about such a performance?”
“You don’t know anything about that kind of performance?”
“Nothing whatever. What makes you ask?”
"Nothing at all. Why do you ask?"
“Don’t press me to tell; it is nothing of importance. And, Stephen, you have not yet spoken to papa about our engagement?”
“Don't push me to say; it’s nothing important. And, Stephen, you haven’t talked to Dad about our engagement yet?”
“No,” he said regretfully, “I could not find him directly; and then I went on thinking so much of what you said about objections, refusals—bitter words possibly—ending our happiness, that I resolved to put it off till to-morrow; that gives us one more day of delight—delight of a tremulous kind.”
“No,” he said with regret, “I couldn’t find him directly; and then I kept thinking a lot about what you said regarding objections, refusals—possibly hurtful words—that could end our happiness, so I decided to postpone it until tomorrow; that gives us one more day of joy—joy of a shaky kind.”
“Yes; but it would be improper to be silent too long, I think,” she said in a delicate voice, which implied that her face had grown warm. “I want him to know we love, Stephen. Why did you adopt as your own my thought of delay?”
“Yes; but I think it would be inappropriate to stay silent for too long,” she said in a soft voice, suggesting that her face had flushed. “I want him to know we love, Stephen. Why did you take my idea of waiting as your own?”
“I will explain; but I want to tell you of my secret first—to tell you now. It is two or three hours yet to bedtime. Let us walk up the hill to the church.”
“I’ll explain, but I want to share my secret with you first—to tell you now. It’s still two or three hours until bedtime. Let’s walk up the hill to the church.”
Elfride passively assented, and they went from the lawn by a side wicket, and ascended into the open expanse of moonlight which streamed around the lonely edifice on the summit of the hill.
Elfride quietly agreed, and they left the lawn through a side gate, climbing into the open stretch of moonlight that surrounded the solitary building at the top of the hill.
The door was locked. They turned from the porch, and walked hand in hand to find a resting-place in the churchyard. Stephen chose a flat tomb, showing itself to be newer and whiter than those around it, and sitting down himself, gently drew her hand towards him.
The door was locked. They turned from the porch and walked hand in hand to find a spot to rest in the churchyard. Stephen picked a flat tomb that looked newer and whiter than the ones surrounding it, and as he sat down, he gently pulled her hand toward him.
“No, not there,” she said.
“No, not there,” she replied.
“Why not here?”
“Why not here?”
“A mere fancy; but never mind.” And she sat down.
“A simple idea; but it’s okay.” And she sat down.
“Elfie, will you love me, in spite of everything that may be said against me?”
“Elfie, will you love me, no matter what anyone might say about me?”
“O Stephen, what makes you repeat that so continually and so sadly? You know I will. Yes, indeed,” she said, drawing closer, “whatever may be said of you—and nothing bad can be—I will cling to you just the same. Your ways shall be my ways until I die.”
“O Stephen, why do you keep saying that so often and sadly? You know I will. Yes, really,” she said, moving closer, “no matter what anyone says about you—and nothing bad could be—I will hold on to you just the same. Your path will be my path until I die.”
“Did you ever think what my parents might be, or what society I originally moved in?”
“Did you ever think about who my parents might be, or what kind of society I came from?”
“No, not particularly. I have observed one or two little points in your manners which are rather quaint—no more. I suppose you have moved in the ordinary society of professional people.”
“No, not really. I’ve noticed a couple of little quirks in your behavior that are kind of unusual—nothing more. I assume you’ve been around the usual crowd of professionals.”
“Supposing I have not—that none of my family have a profession except me?”
“Supposing I don't—none of my family have a job except me?”
“I don’t mind. What you are only concerns me.”
“I don’t mind. What you are only matters to me.”
“Where do you think I went to school—I mean, to what kind of school?”
“Where do you think I went to school? I mean, what kind of school was it?”
“Dr. Somebody’s academy,” she said simply.
“Dr. Somebody’s academy,” she said plainly.
“No. To a dame school originally, then to a national school.”
“No. First to a private school for girls, then to a public school.”
“Only to those! Well, I love you just as much, Stephen, dear Stephen,” she murmured tenderly, “I do indeed. And why should you tell me these things so impressively? What do they matter to me?”
“Only for those! Well, I love you just as much, Stephen, dear Stephen,” she whispered softly, “I really do. And why do you need to tell me these things so seriously? What do they even mean to me?”
He held her closer and proceeded:
He pulled her in tighter and continued:
“What do you think my father is—does for his living, that is to say?”
“What do you think my father does for a living?”
“He practises some profession or calling, I suppose.”
“He probably has some job or career, I guess.”
“No; he is a mason.”
“No; he's a mason.”
“A Freemason?”
"A Freemason?"
“No; a cottager and journeyman mason.”
“No; a cottage worker and a journeyman mason.”
Elfride said nothing at first. After a while she whispered:
Elfride didn’t say anything at first. After a bit, she whispered:
“That is a strange idea to me. But never mind; what does it matter?”
"That seems like a weird idea to me. But whatever; what difference does it make?"
“But aren’t you angry with me for not telling you before?”
“But aren’t you mad at me for not telling you earlier?”
“No, not at all. Is your mother alive?”
“No, not at all. Is your mom alive?”
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“Is she a nice lady?”
“Is she a nice person?”
“Very—the best mother in the world. Her people had been well-to-do yeomen for centuries, but she was only a dairymaid.”
“Truly—the best mother in the world. Her family had been prosperous farmers for centuries, but she was just a dairymaid.”
“O Stephen!” came from her in whispered exclamation.
“O Stephen!” she exclaimed in a whisper.
“She continued to attend to a dairy long after my father married her,” pursued Stephen, without further hesitation. “And I remember very well how, when I was very young, I used to go to the milking, look on at the skimming, sleep through the churning, and make believe I helped her. Ah, that was a happy time enough!”
“She kept working at the dairy long after my dad married her,” continued Stephen, without any pause. “And I remember really well how, when I was little, I would go to the milking, watch the skimming, nap through the churning, and pretend I was helping her. Ah, those were really happy times!”
“No, never—not happy.”
“No, never—I'm not happy.”
“Yes, it was.”
“Yep, it was.”
“I don’t see how happiness could be where the drudgery of dairy-work had to be done for a living—the hands red and chapped, and the shoes clogged....Stephen, I do own that it seems odd to regard you in the light of—of—having been so rough in your youth, and done menial things of that kind.” (Stephen withdrew an inch or two from her side.) “But I DO LOVE YOU just the same,” she continued, getting closer under his shoulder again, “and I don’t care anything about the past; and I see that you are all the worthier for having pushed on in the world in such a way.”
“I don’t understand how happiness could exist where you have to work so hard in dairy—you know, with hands all red and chapped, and shoes caked with mud....Stephen, I admit it seems strange to see you as someone who was so rough in your younger days, doing those kinds of menial jobs.” (Stephen moved a bit away from her.) “But I STILL LOVE YOU just the same,” she continued, moving closer under his shoulder again, “and I don’t care about the past at all; I see that you’re even more admirable for having made your way in the world like that.”
“It is not my worthiness; it is Knight’s, who pushed me.”
“It’s not about my worthiness; it’s Knight’s, who encouraged me.”
“Ah, always he—always he!”
“Ugh, it’s always him—always!”
“Yes, and properly so. Now, Elfride, you see the reason of his teaching me by letter. I knew him years before he went to Oxford, but I had not got far enough in my reading for him to entertain the idea of helping me in classics till he left home. Then I was sent away from the village, and we very seldom met; but he kept up this system of tuition by correspondence with the greatest regularity. I will tell you all the story, but not now. There is nothing more to say now, beyond giving places, persons, and dates.” His voice became timidly slow at this point.
“Yes, and rightly so. Now, Elfride, you understand why he taught me through letters. I knew him for years before he went to Oxford, but I hadn’t progressed enough in my reading for him to think about helping me with classics until he left home. After that, I was sent away from the village, and we hardly saw each other; yet he continued this system of teaching through correspondence with great regularity. I’ll tell you the whole story, but not right now. There’s nothing more to say at the moment, except to provide names, places, and dates.” His voice became timidly slow at this point.
“No; don’t take trouble to say more. You are a dear honest fellow to say so much as you have; and it is not so dreadful either. It has become a normal thing that millionaires commence by going up to London with their tools at their back, and half-a-crown in their pockets. That sort of origin is getting so respected,” she continued cheerfully, “that it is acquiring some of the odour of Norman ancestry.”
“No; there’s no need to say more. You’re really a kind, honest guy for saying as much as you have; and it’s not that bad either. It’s become pretty common for millionaires to start off by heading to London with their tools in tow and a couple of coins in their pockets. That kind of background is gaining so much respect,” she continued cheerfully, “that it’s starting to have some of the charm of Norman ancestry.”
“Ah, if I had MADE my fortune, I shouldn’t mind. But I am only a possible maker of it as yet.”
“Ah, if I had made my fortune, I wouldn’t mind. But I’m just a potential maker of it so far.”
“It is quite enough. And so THIS is what your trouble was?”
“It’s more than enough. So THIS is what was bothering you?”
“I thought I was doing wrong in letting you love me without telling you my story; and yet I feared to do so, Elfie. I dreaded to lose you, and I was cowardly on that account.”
“I thought I was making a mistake by allowing you to love me without sharing my story; but I was also scared to do so, Elfie. I was terrified of losing you, and because of that, I acted like a coward.”
“How plain everything about you seems after this explanation! Your peculiarities in chess-playing, the pronunciation papa noticed in your Latin, your odd mixture of book-knowledge with ignorance of ordinary social accomplishments, are accounted for in a moment. And has this anything to do with what I saw at Lord Luxellian’s?”
“How straightforward everything about you seems after this explanation! Your quirks in playing chess, the way you pronounce things that dad noticed in your Latin, your strange combination of book smarts with a lack of everyday social skills, all make sense now. And does this have anything to do with what I saw at Lord Luxellian’s?”
“What did you see?”
“What did you spot?”
“I saw the shadow of yourself putting a cloak round a lady. I was at the side door; you two were in a room with the window towards me. You came to me a moment later.”
“I saw your shadow wrapping a cloak around a woman. I was by the side door; you two were in a room with the window facing me. You came to me a moment later.”
“She was my mother.”
"She was my mom."
“Your mother THERE!” She withdrew herself to look at him silently in her interest.
“Your mother THERE!” She pulled back to watch him quietly, intrigued.
“Elfride,” said Stephen, “I was going to tell you the remainder to-morrow—I have been keeping it back—I must tell it now, after all. The remainder of my revelation refers to where my parents are. Where do you think they live? You know them—by sight at any rate.”
“Elfride,” said Stephen, “I was planning to tell you the rest tomorrow—I’ve been holding it back—but I need to share it now, after all. The rest of my revelation is about where my parents are. Where do you think they live? You know them—at least by sight.”
“I know them!” she said in suspended amazement.
"I know them!" she said in sheer disbelief.
“Yes. My father is John Smith, Lord Luxellian’s master-mason, who lives under the park wall by the river.”
“Yes. My dad is John Smith, Lord Luxellian’s master mason, who lives by the river under the park wall.”
“O Stephen! can it be?”
“O Stephen! Is it real?”
“He built—or assisted at the building of the house you live in, years ago. He put up those stone gate piers at the lodge entrance to Lord Luxellian’s park. My grandfather planted the trees that belt in your lawn; my grandmother—who worked in the fields with him—held each tree upright whilst he filled in the earth: they told me so when I was a child. He was the sexton, too, and dug many of the graves around us.”
“He built—or helped build—the house you live in, years ago. He put up those stone gate piers at the entrance to Lord Luxellian’s park. My grandfather planted the trees that surround your lawn; my grandmother—who worked in the fields with him—held each tree upright while he filled in the soil: they told me that when I was a child. He was also the sexton and dug many of the graves around us.”
“And was your unaccountable vanishing on the first morning of your arrival, and again this afternoon, a run to see your father and mother?...I understand now; no wonder you seemed to know your way about the village!”
"And was your mysterious disappearance on the first morning of your arrival, and again this afternoon, just a quick visit to see your dad and mom?... I get it now; it's no surprise you seemed familiar with the village!"
“No wonder. But remember, I have not lived here since I was nine years old. I then went to live with my uncle, a blacksmith, near Exonbury, in order to be able to attend a national school as a day scholar; there was none on this remote coast then. It was there I met with my friend Knight. And when I was fifteen and had been fairly educated by the school-master—and more particularly by Knight—I was put as a pupil in an architect’s office in that town, because I was skilful in the use of the pencil. A full premium was paid by the efforts of my mother and father, rather against the wishes of Lord Luxellian, who likes my father, however, and thinks a great deal of him. There I stayed till six months ago, when I obtained a situation as improver, as it is called, in a London office. That’s all of me.”
“No surprise there. But keep in mind, I haven't lived here since I was nine. I went to live with my uncle, a blacksmith, near Exonbury, so I could go to a national school as a day student; there wasn't one along this isolated coast back then. It was there that I met my friend Knight. When I turned fifteen and had received a decent education from the schoolmaster—and especially from Knight—I started working as a pupil in an architect’s office in that town, since I was good with a pencil. My parents worked hard to pay the full premium, even though it went against Lord Luxellian's wishes, who actually likes my dad and thinks highly of him. I stayed there until six months ago when I landed a job as an improver, as they call it, in a London office. That’s my story.”
“To think YOU, the London visitor, the town man, should have been born here, and have known this village so many years before I did. How strange—how very strange it seems to me!” she murmured.
“To think YOU, the visitor from London, the city dweller, were born here and knew this village for so many years before I did. How weird—how very weird that feels to me!” she murmured.
“My mother curtseyed to you and your father last Sunday,” said Stephen, with a pained smile at the thought of the incongruity. “And your papa said to her, ‘I am glad to see you so regular at church, JANE.’”
“My mom curtseyed to you and your dad last Sunday,” said Stephen, with a pained smile at the thought of how odd it was. “And your dad said to her, ‘I'm glad to see you so regular at church, JANE.’”
“I remember it, but I have never spoken to her. We have only been here eighteen months, and the parish is so large.”
“I remember her, but I've never talked to her. We've only been here for eighteen months, and the parish is so big.”
“Contrast with this,” said Stephen, with a miserable laugh, “your father’s belief in my ‘blue blood,’ which is still prevalent in his mind. The first night I came, he insisted upon proving my descent from one of the most ancient west-county families, on account of my second Christian name; when the truth is, it was given me because my grandfather was assistant gardener in the Fitzmaurice-Smith family for thirty years. Having seen your face, my darling, I had not heart to contradict him, and tell him what would have cut me off from a friendly knowledge of you.”
“Just think about this,” said Stephen, with a sad laugh, “your dad's belief in my ‘noble lineage,’ which he still holds onto. On my first night here, he insisted on proving that I’m descended from one of the oldest families in the west country, all because of my middle name; but the truth is, it was given to me because my grandfather was the assistant gardener for the Fitzmaurice-Smith family for thirty years. After seeing your face, my love, I didn’t have the heart to correct him and tell him what would have kept me from getting to know you.”
She sighed deeply. “Yes, I see now how this inequality may be made to trouble us,” she murmured, and continued in a low, sad whisper, “I wouldn’t have minded if they had lived far away. Papa might have consented to an engagement between us if your connection had been with villagers a hundred miles off; remoteness softens family contrasts. But he will not like—O Stephen, Stephen! what can I do?”
She sighed deeply. “Yeah, I get how this unfairness can bother us,” she whispered, continuing in a soft, sad tone, “I wouldn’t have cared if they lived far away. Dad might have agreed to us getting engaged if your family was with people living a hundred miles away; distance makes family differences easier to handle. But he won’t like—Oh Stephen, Stephen! what can I do?”
“Do?” he said tentatively, yet with heaviness. “Give me up; let me go back to London, and think no more of me.”
“Do?” he said cautiously, yet with a weight in his voice. “Just let me go; let me return to London and forget about me.”
“No, no; I cannot give you up! This hopelessness in our affairs makes me care more for you....I see what did not strike me at first. Stephen, why do we trouble? Why should papa object? An architect in London is an architect in London. Who inquires there? Nobody. We shall live there, shall we not? Why need we be so alarmed?”
“No, no; I can’t give you up! This hopelessness in our situation makes me care even more for you....I see what didn’t hit me at first. Stephen, why do we worry? Why should dad object? An architect in London is just an architect in London. Who even asks about it? Nobody. We’re going to live there, right? Why should we be so scared?”
“And Elfie,” said Stephen, his hopes kindling with hers, “Knight thinks nothing of my being only a cottager’s son; he says I am as worthy of his friendship as if I were a lord’s; and if I am worthy of his friendship, I am worthy of you, am I not, Elfride?”
“And Elfie,” said Stephen, his hopes igniting alongside hers, “Knight doesn’t care that I'm just a cottager’s son; he says I'm just as deserving of his friendship as if I were a lord; and if I'm deserving of his friendship, then I’m deserving of you, right, Elfride?”
“I not only have never loved anybody but you,” she said, instead of giving an answer, “but I have not even formed a strong friendship, such as you have for Knight. I wish you hadn’t. It diminishes me.”
“I haven’t just never loved anyone but you,” she said, instead of answering, “but I also haven’t even formed a strong friendship, like the one you have with Knight. I wish you hadn’t. It makes me feel smaller.”
“Now, Elfride, you know better,” he said wooingly. “And had you really never any sweetheart at all?”
“Now, Elfride, you know better,” he said in a charming way. “And have you really never had a boyfriend at all?”
“None that was ever recognized by me as such.”
“None that I ever recognized as such.”
“But did nobody ever love you?”
“But did no one ever love you?”
“Yes—a man did once; very much, he said.”
“Yes—a man did once; a lot, he said.”
“How long ago?”
“How long ago was that?”
“Oh, a long time.”
“Oh, it's been a while.”
“How long, dearest?
“How long, my love?
“A twelvemonth.”
“A year.”
“That’s not VERY long” (rather disappointedly).
“That’s not very long” (sounding quite disappointed).
“I said long, not very long.”
“I said long, not too long.”
“And did he want to marry you?”
“And did he want to marry you?”
“I believe he did. But I didn’t see anything in him. He was not good enough, even if I had loved him.”
“I believe he did. But I didn’t see anything in him. He wasn’t good enough, even if I had loved him.”
“May I ask what he was?”
“Can I ask what he was?”
“A farmer.”
"A farmer."
“A farmer not good enough—how much better than my family!” Stephen murmured.
“A farmer not good enough—how much better than my family!” Stephen murmured.
“Where is he now?” he continued to Elfride.
“Where is he now?” he asked Elfride.
“HERE.”
“Here.”
“Here! what do you mean by that?”
“Hey! What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that he is here.”
“I mean that he is here.”
“Where here?”
"Where are we?"
“Under us. He is under this tomb. He is dead, and we are sitting on his grave.”
“Below us. He’s beneath this tomb. He’s dead, and we’re sitting on his grave.”
“Elfie,” said the young man, standing up and looking at the tomb, “how odd and sad that revelation seems! It quite depresses me for the moment.”
“Elfie,” said the young man, standing up and looking at the tomb, “how strange and sad that revelation feels! It really brings me down for a moment.”
“Stephen! I didn’t wish to sit here; but you would do so.”
“Stephen! I didn’t want to sit here; but you decided to.”
“You never encouraged him?”
"You never motivated him?"
“Never by look, word, or sign,” she said solemnly. “He died of consumption, and was buried the day you first came.”
“Never by look, word, or sign,” she said seriously. “He died of tuberculosis and was buried the day you first arrived.”
“Let us go away. I don’t like standing by HIM, even if you never loved him. He was BEFORE me.”
“Let’s leave. I don’t like being near him, even if you never loved him. He was here before me.”
“Worries make you unreasonable,” she half pouted, following Stephen at the distance of a few steps. “Perhaps I ought to have told you before we sat down. Yes; let us go.”
“Worries make you unreasonable,” she said, pouting a bit while trailing Stephen by a few steps. “Maybe I should have told you this before we sat down. Yeah; let’s go.”
Chapter IX
“Her father did fume”
"Her father was furious"
Oppressed, in spite of themselves, by a foresight of impending complications, Elfride and Stephen returned down the hill hand in hand. At the door they paused wistfully, like children late at school.
Oppressed, despite themselves, by a sense of looming complications, Elfride and Stephen walked back down the hill hand in hand. At the door, they stopped with a sense of longing, like kids who are late for school.
Women accept their destiny more readily than men. Elfride had now resigned herself to the overwhelming idea of her lover’s sorry antecedents; Stephen had not forgotten the trifling grievance that Elfride had known earlier admiration than his own.
Women are more accepting of their fate than men. Elfride had now come to terms with the painful reality of her lover's unfortunate past; Stephen had not moved past the minor annoyance that Elfride had received admiration before his own.
“What was that young man’s name?” he inquired.
“What was that young guy’s name?” he asked.
“Felix Jethway; a widow’s only son.”
“Felix Jethway; a widow's only child.”
“I remember the family.”
"I remember the family."
“She hates me now. She says I killed him.”
“She hates me now. She says I’m the one who killed him.”
Stephen mused, and they entered the porch.
Stephen thought, and they stepped onto the porch.
“Stephen, I love only you,” she tremulously whispered. He pressed her fingers, and the trifling shadow passed away, to admit again the mutual and more tangible trouble.
“Stephen, I love only you,” she whispered softly, trembling. He held her fingers, and the fleeting shadow disappeared, allowing the more significant issue between them to surface again.
The study appeared to be the only room lighted up. They entered, each with a demeanour intended to conceal the inconcealable fact that reciprocal love was their dominant chord. Elfride perceived a man, sitting with his back towards herself, talking to her father. She would have retired, but Mr. Swancourt had seen her.
The study seemed to be the only room lit up. They walked in, each trying to hide the undeniable truth that mutual love was their main theme. Elfride noticed a man sitting with his back to her, talking to her father. She thought about leaving, but Mr. Swancourt had spotted her.
“Come in,” he said; “it is only Martin Cannister, come for a copy of the register for poor Mrs. Jethway.”
“Come in,” he said; “it’s just Martin Cannister, here for a copy of the register for poor Mrs. Jethway.”
Martin Cannister, the sexton, was rather a favourite with Elfride. He used to absorb her attention by telling her of his strange experiences in digging up after long years the bodies of persons he had known, and recognizing them by some little sign (though in reality he had never recognized any). He had shrewd small eyes and a great wealth of double chin, which compensated in some measure for considerable poverty of nose.
Martin Cannister, the sexton, was quite a favorite of Elfride. He would capture her attention by sharing his unusual experiences of digging up the bodies of people he had known after many years and claiming to recognize them by some small detail (even though, in reality, he had never truly recognized any). He had sharp little eyes and a prominent double chin, which somewhat made up for his noticeably small nose.
The appearance of a slip of paper in Cannister’s hand, and a few shillings lying on the table in front of him, denoted that the business had been transacted, and the tenor of their conversation went to show that a summary of village news was now engaging the attention of parishioner and parson.
The sight of a piece of paper in Cannister’s hand and a few coins on the table in front of him indicated that the deal had been done, and the nature of their conversation suggested that a quick update on village news was now capturing the interest of both the church member and the pastor.
Mr. Cannister stood up and touched his forehead over his eye with his finger, in respectful salutation of Elfride, gave half as much salute to Stephen (whom he, in common with other villagers, had never for a moment recognized), then sat down again and resumed his discourse.
Mr. Cannister stood up and touched his forehead above his eye with his finger, respectfully greeting Elfride, gave a half-hearted nod to Stephen (whom he, like the other villagers, had never actually recognized), then sat back down and continued his conversation.
“Where had I got on to, sir?”
“Where was I, dude?”
“To driving the pile,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“To driving the pile,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“The pile ’twas. So, as I was saying, Nat was driving the pile in this manner, as I might say.” Here Mr. Cannister held his walking-stick scrupulously vertical with his left hand, and struck a blow with great force on the knob of the stick with his right. “John was steadying the pile so, as I might say.” Here he gave the stick a slight shake, and looked firmly in the various eyes around to see that before proceeding further his listeners well grasped the subject at that stage. “Well, when Nat had struck some half-dozen blows more upon the pile, ’a stopped for a second or two. John, thinking he had done striking, put his hand upon the top o’ the pile to gie en a pull, and see if ’a were firm in the ground.” Mr. Cannister spread his hand over the top of the stick, completely covering it with his palm. “Well, so to speak, Nat hadn’t maned to stop striking, and when John had put his hand upon the pile, the beetle——”
“The pile it was. So, as I was saying, Nat was driving the pile like this,” Mr. Cannister held his walking stick upright with his left hand and struck the knob of the stick with great force using his right. “John was steadying the pile like this.” He gave the stick a slight shake and looked firmly into the eyes of those around him to make sure his listeners understood what he was talking about at that moment. “Well, when Nat had struck about six more blows on the pile, he stopped for a second or two. John, thinking that Nat was done striking, placed his hand on top of the pile to give it a pull and check if it was firm in the ground.” Mr. Cannister spread his hand over the top of the stick, completely covering it with his palm. “Well, so to speak, Nat hadn’t meant to stop striking, and when John put his hand on the pile, the beetle—”
“Oh dreadful!” said Elfride.
“Oh no!” said Elfride.
“The beetle was already coming down, you see, sir. Nat just caught sight of his hand, but couldn’t stop the blow in time. Down came the beetle upon poor John Smith’s hand, and squashed en to a pummy.”
“The beetle was already coming down, you see, sir. Nat just caught sight of his hand but couldn’t stop the hit in time. Down came the beetle onto poor John Smith’s hand and squashed it into a pulp.”
“Dear me, dear me! poor fellow!” said the vicar, with an intonation like the groans of the wounded in a pianoforte performance of the “Battle of Prague.”
“Goodness, poor guy!” said the vicar, with a tone reminiscent of the groans of the wounded in a piano rendition of the “Battle of Prague.”
“John Smith, the master-mason?” cried Stephen hurriedly.
“John Smith, the master mason?” yelled Stephen quickly.
“Ay, no other; and a better-hearted man God A’mighty never made.”
"Ay, none other; and a better-hearted man God Almighty never made."
“Is he so much hurt?”
“Is he badly hurt?”
“I have heard,” said Mr. Swancourt, not noticing Stephen, “that he has a son in London, a very promising young fellow.”
“I’ve heard,” said Mr. Swancourt, not noticing Stephen, “that he has a son in London, a really promising young guy.”
“Oh, how he must be hurt!” repeated Stephen.
“Oh, he must be so hurt!” Stephen repeated.
“A beetle couldn’t hurt very little. Well, sir, good-night t’ye; and ye, sir; and you, miss, I’m sure.”
“A beetle can’t hurt much. Well, good night to you, sir; and you, sir; and you, miss, I’m sure.”
Mr. Cannister had been making unnoticeable motions of withdrawal, and by the time this farewell remark came from his lips he was just outside the door of the room. He tramped along the hall, stayed more than a minute endeavouring to close the door properly, and then was lost to their hearing.
Mr. Cannister had been making subtle moves to leave, and by the time he said this farewell, he was already just outside the door. He walked down the hall, spent over a minute trying to shut the door properly, and then disappeared from their hearing.
Stephen had meanwhile turned and said to the vicar:
Stephen had turned around and said to the vicar:
“Please excuse me this evening! I must leave. John Smith is my father.”
“Please excuse me tonight! I have to go. John Smith is my dad.”
The vicar did not comprehend at first.
The vicar didn't understand at first.
“What did you say?” he inquired.
“What did you say?” he asked.
“John Smith is my father,” said Stephen deliberately.
“John Smith is my dad,” Stephen said intentionally.
A surplus tinge of redness rose from Mr. Swancourt’s neck, and came round over his face, the lines of his features became more firmly defined, and his lips seemed to get thinner. It was evident that a series of little circumstances, hitherto unheeded, were now fitting themselves together, and forming a lucid picture in Mr. Swancourt’s mind in such a manner as to render useless further explanation on Stephen’s part.
A slight flush of redness crept up Mr. Swancourt's neck and spread across his face, making his features more sharply defined, and his lips appeared to thin out. It was clear that a number of small details, which had gone unnoticed before, were now coming together, creating a clear picture in Mr. Swancourt's mind, making any further explanations from Stephen unnecessary.
“Indeed,” the vicar said, in a voice dry and without inflection.
“Sure,” the vicar said, in a flat, unemotional tone.
This being a word which depends entirely upon its tone for its meaning, Mr. Swancourt’s enunciation was equivalent to no expression at all.
This is a word that relies completely on its tone for its meaning, so Mr. Swancourt’s pronunciation conveyed no meaning at all.
“I have to go now,” said Stephen, with an agitated bearing, and a movement as if he scarcely knew whether he ought to run off or stay longer. “On my return, sir, will you kindly grant me a few minutes’ private conversation?”
“I have to go now,” said Stephen, looking upset and acting like he couldn’t decide whether to leave quickly or stick around a bit longer. “When I come back, sir, could you please spare me a few minutes for a private chat?”
“Certainly. Though antecedently it does not seem possible that there can be anything of the nature of private business between us.”
“Sure. Although it doesn’t seem possible that there can be anything like private business between us.”
Mr. Swancourt put on his straw hat, crossed the drawing-room, into which the moonlight was shining, and stepped out of the French window into the verandah. It required no further effort to perceive what, indeed, reasoning might have foretold as the natural colour of a mind whose pleasures were taken amid genealogies, good dinners, and patrician reminiscences, that Mr. Swancourt’s prejudices were too strong for his generosity, and that Stephen’s moments as his friend and equal were numbered, or had even now ceased.
Mr. Swancourt put on his straw hat, walked across the drawing-room where the moonlight was shining, and stepped out of the French window onto the verandah. It took no extra effort to see what, in fact, logic might have expected as the natural outlook of someone whose joys came from family trees, fine meals, and elite memories: that Mr. Swancourt’s biases were too strong for his kindness, and that Stephen’s time as his friend and equal was limited or might have already come to an end.
Stephen moved forward as if he would follow the vicar, then as if he would not, and in absolute perplexity whither to turn himself, went awkwardly to the door. Elfride followed lingeringly behind him. Before he had receded two yards from the doorstep, Unity and Ann the housemaid came home from their visit to the village.
Stephen moved forward as if he would follow the vicar, then as if he would not, and in complete confusion about where to go, he awkwardly headed toward the door. Elfride trailed behind him slowly. Before he had stepped back two yards from the doorstep, Unity and Ann, the housemaid, returned from their trip to the village.
“Have you heard anything about John Smith? The accident is not so bad as was reported, is it?” said Elfride intuitively.
“Have you heard anything about John Smith? The accident isn’t as bad as they reported, right?” Elfride said instinctively.
“Oh no; the doctor says it is only a bad bruise.”
“Oh no; the doctor says it’s just a bad bruise.”
“I thought so!” cried Elfride gladly.
“I knew it!” shouted Elfride happily.
“He says that, although Nat believes he did not check the beetle as it came down, he must have done so without knowing it—checked it very considerably too; for the full blow would have knocked his hand abroad, and in reality it is only made black-and-blue like.”
“He says that, even though Nat thinks he didn't check the beetle when it came down, he must have done it without realizing—he must have really checked it a lot too; because the full hit would have knocked his hand away, and in reality, it’s only bruised and swollen.”
“How thankful I am!” said Stephen.
“How thankful I am!” said Stephen.
The perplexed Unity looked at him with her mouth rather than with her eyes.
The confused Unity looked at him with her mouth instead of her eyes.
“That will do, Unity,” said Elfride magisterially; and the two maids passed on.
“That's enough, Unity,” Elfride said authoritatively; and the two maids moved on.
“Elfride, do you forgive me?” said Stephen with a faint smile. “No man is fair in love;” and he took her fingers lightly in his own.
“Elfride, do you forgive me?” said Stephen with a slight smile. “No one is fair in love,” and he gently took her fingers in his.
With her head thrown sideways in the Greuze attitude, she looked a tender reproach at his doubt and pressed his hand. Stephen returned the pressure threefold, then hastily went off to his father’s cottage by the wall of Endelstow Park.
With her head tilted to the side in a way reminiscent of Greuze, she gave him a gentle look of disappointment over his doubt and clasped his hand. Stephen squeezed back three times, then quickly headed to his father's cottage by the wall of Endelstow Park.
“Elfride, what have you to say to this?” inquired her father, coming up immediately Stephen had retired.
“Elfride, what do you have to say about this?” her father asked as soon as Stephen had left.
With feminine quickness she grasped at any straw that would enable her to plead his cause. “He had told me of it,” she faltered; “so that it is not a discovery in spite of him. He was just coming in to tell you.”
With quick thinking, she clung to any excuse that would let her defend him. “He mentioned it to me,” she hesitated; “so it’s not a surprise because of him. He was just about to come in and tell you.”
“COMING to tell! Why hadn’t he already told? I object as much, if not more, to his underhand concealment of this, than I do to the fact itself. It looks very much like his making a fool of me, and of you too. You and he have been about together, and corresponding together, in a way I don’t at all approve of—in a most unseemly way. You should have known how improper such conduct is. A woman can’t be too careful not to be seen alone with I-don’t-know-whom.”
“Coming to tell! Why hadn’t he said something already? I’m just as upset, if not more, about his sneaky hiding of this as I am about the fact itself. It really feels like he’s making a fool of me—and you too. You and he have been hanging out and corresponding in a way I don’t like at all—in a very inappropriate way. You should know how unacceptable that kind of behavior is. A woman has to be extra careful not to be seen alone with just anyone.”
“You saw us, papa, and have never said a word.”
“You saw us, Dad, and you've never said anything.”
“My fault, of course; my fault. What the deuce could I be thinking of! He, a villager’s son; and we, Swancourts, connections of the Luxellians. We have been coming to nothing for centuries, and now I believe we have got there. What shall I next invite here, I wonder!”
“My fault, of course; my fault. What on earth was I thinking! He, the son of a villager; and we, the Swancourts, related to the Luxellians. We've been going nowhere for centuries, and now I think we've finally made it. What should I invite here next, I wonder!”
Elfride began to cry at this very unpropitious aspect of affairs. “O papa, papa, forgive me and him! We care so much for one another, papa—O, so much! And what he was going to ask you is, if you will allow of an engagement between us till he is a gentleman as good as you. We are not in a hurry, dear papa; we don’t want in the least to marry now; not until he is richer. Only will you let us be engaged, because I love him so, and he loves me?”
Elfride started to cry at this very unfortunate situation. “Oh, Dad, Dad, please forgive me and him! We care so much for each other, Dad—oh, so much! And what he was going to ask you is if you would allow us to be engaged until he becomes a gentleman like you. We’re not in a rush, dear Dad; we don’t want to get married right now; not until he’s wealthier. We just want you to let us be engaged because I love him so much, and he loves me?”
Mr. Swancourt’s feelings were a little touched by this appeal, and he was annoyed that such should be the case. “Certainly not!” he replied. He pronounced the inhibition lengthily and sonorously, so that the “not” sounded like “n-o-o-o-t!”
Mr. Swancourt felt a bit moved by this request, and he was irritated that he did. “Definitely not!” he replied. He emphasized the refusal in a long and deep manner, making the “not” sound like “n-o-o-o-t!”
“No, no, no; don’t say it!”
“No, no, no; don’t say it!”
“Foh! A fine story. It is not enough that I have been deluded and disgraced by having him here,—the son of one of my village peasants,—but now I am to make him my son-in-law! Heavens above us, are you mad, Elfride?”
“Ugh! What a ridiculous story. It’s not enough that I’ve been fooled and embarrassed by having him here—the son of one of my village peasants—but now I’m supposed to make him my son-in-law! Good heavens, are you crazy, Elfride?”
“You have seen his letters come to me ever since his first visit, papa, and you knew they were a sort of—love-letters; and since he has been here you have let him be alone with me almost entirely; and you guessed, you must have guessed, what we were thinking of, and doing, and you didn’t stop him. Next to love-making comes love-winning, and you knew it would come to that, papa.”
“You’ve seen his letters arriving for me since his first visit, Dad, and you knew they were kind of—love letters; and since he’s been here, you’ve allowed him to be alone with me almost all the time; and you must have guessed, you had to have guessed, what we were thinking and doing, and you didn’t stop him. Right after making love comes winning love, and you knew it would lead to that, Dad.”
The vicar parried this common-sense thrust. “I know—since you press me so—I know I did guess some childish attachment might arise between you; I own I did not take much trouble to prevent it; but I have not particularly countenanced it; and, Elfride, how can you expect that I should now? It is impossible; no father in England would hear of such a thing.”
The vicar deflected this reasonable point. “I know—since you’re pushing me—I did think some innocent feelings might develop between you; I admit I didn’t put in much effort to stop it; but I haven’t really supported it either; and, Elfride, how can you expect me to do so now? It’s impossible; no father in England would agree to something like that.”
“But he is the same man, papa; the same in every particular; and how can he be less fit for me than he was before?”
“But he is the same guy, dad; the same in every way; and how can he be less suitable for me than he was before?”
“He appeared a young man with well-to-do friends, and a little property; but having neither, he is another man.”
“He seemed like a young man with wealthy friends and some property, but without those, he is a different person.”
“You inquired nothing about him?”
“Did you ask about him?”
“I went by Hewby’s introduction. He should have told me. So should the young man himself; of course he should. I consider it a most dishonourable thing to come into a man’s house like a treacherous I-don’t-know-what.”
“I went by Hewby’s introduction. He should have told me. So should the young man himself; he definitely should have. I think it’s really dishonorable to walk into someone’s house like a sneaky I-don’t-know-what.”
“But he was afraid to tell you, and so should I have been. He loved me too well to like to run the risk. And as to speaking of his friends on his first visit, I don’t see why he should have done so at all. He came here on business: it was no affair of ours who his parents were. And then he knew that if he told you he would never be asked here, and would perhaps never see me again. And he wanted to see me. Who can blame him for trying, by any means, to stay near me—the girl he loves? All is fair in love. I have heard you say so yourself, papa; and you yourself would have done just as he has—so would any man.”
“But he was scared to tell you, and I should have been too. He cared about me too much to take that risk. As for mentioning his friends on his first visit, I don’t see why he should have done that at all. He came here for business; it wasn't our business to know who his parents were. Plus, he knew that if he told you, he would never be invited back here and might never see me again. And he wanted to see me. Who can blame him for trying, by any means, to stay close to me—the girl he loves? All's fair in love. I've heard you say that yourself, Dad; and you would have done exactly what he did—any man would.”
“And any man, on discovering what I have discovered, would also do as I do, and mend my mistake; that is, get shot of him again, as soon as the laws of hospitality will allow.” But Mr. Swancourt then remembered that he was a Christian. “I would not, for the world, seem to turn him out of doors,” he added; “but I think he will have the tact to see that he cannot stay long after this, with good taste.”
“And any man, upon figuring out what I have figured out, would do what I’m about to do and get rid of him again, as soon as hospitality allows.” But Mr. Swancourt then recalled that he was a Christian. “I wouldn’t, for anything, want to appear to kick him out,” he added; “but I believe he has the sense to know that he can’t stick around much longer after this, with good taste.”
“He will, because he’s a gentleman. See how graceful his manners are,” Elfride went on; though perhaps Stephen’s manners, like the feats of Euryalus, owed their attractiveness in her eyes rather to the attractiveness of his person than to their own excellence.
“He will, because he’s a gentleman. Look how graceful his manners are,” Elfride continued; although perhaps Stephen’s manners, like the achievements of Euryalus, were appealing in her eyes more because of his looks than due to their own merit.
“Ay; anybody can be what you call graceful, if he lives a little time in a city, and keeps his eyes open. And he might have picked up his gentlemanliness by going to the galleries of theatres, and watching stage drawing-room manners. He reminds me of one of the worst stories I ever heard in my life.”
“Yeah; anyone can be what you call graceful if they spend some time in a city and pay attention. They could have learned their gentlemanly behavior from hanging out in theater galleries and observing how people act in nice settings. He makes me think of one of the worst stories I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“What story was that?”
"What story is that?"
“Oh no, thank you! I wouldn’t tell you such an improper matter for the world!”
“Oh no, thank you! I wouldn’t share such an inappropriate thing for anything!”
“If his father and mother had lived in the north or east of England,” gallantly persisted Elfride, though her sobs began to interrupt her articulation, “anywhere but here—you—would have—only regarded—HIM, and not THEM! His station—would have—been what—his profession makes it,—and not fixed by—his father’s humble position—at all; whom he never lives with—now. Though John Smith has saved lots of money, and is better off than we are, they say, or he couldn’t have put his son to such an expensive profession. And it is clever and—honourable—of Stephen, to be the best of his family.”
“If his mom and dad had lived in the north or east of England,” Elfride insisted, though her sobs started to interfere with her speech, “anywhere but here—you—would have—only thought about—HIM, and not THEM! His status—would have—been based on—his profession—and not determined by—his dad’s humble job—at all; he doesn’t even live with him—now. Even though John Smith has saved a lot of money, and is supposedly better off than we are, or he couldn't have put his son in such an expensive profession. And it’s smart and—honorable—of Stephen, to be the best in his family.”
“Yes. ‘Let a beast be lord of beasts, and his crib shall stand at the king’s mess.’”
“Yes. ‘Let a beast be the lord of beasts, and his place will be at the king’s table.’”
“You insult me, papa!” she burst out. “You do, you do! He is my own Stephen, he is!”
“You're insulting me, dad!” she exclaimed. “You are, you are! He’s my own Stephen, he is!”
“That may or may not be true, Elfride,” returned her father, again uncomfortably agitated in spite of himself “You confuse future probabilities with present facts,—what the young man may be with what he is. We must look at what he is, not what an improbable degree of success in his profession may make him. The case is this: the son of a working-man in my parish who may or may not be able to buy me up—a youth who has not yet advanced so far into life as to have any income of his own deserving the name, and therefore of his father’s degree as regards station—wants to be engaged to you. His family are living in precisely the same spot in England as yours, so throughout this county—which is the world to us—you would always be known as the wife of Jack Smith the mason’s son, and not under any circumstances as the wife of a London professional man. It is the drawback, not the compensating fact, that is talked of always. There, say no more. You may argue all night, and prove what you will; I’ll stick to my words.”
“That might be true or it might not, Elfride,” her father replied, shifting uncomfortably despite himself. “You’re mixing up future possibilities with current realities—what the young man might become with who he actually is. We have to focus on who he is now, not on a slim chance of success in his career. Here’s the situation: the son of a laborer in my parish, who may or may not be able to afford me—a young man who hasn’t progressed far enough in life to have any real income, and because of that, his father’s social standing—wants to be engaged to you. His family lives in exactly the same area of England as yours, so in this county—which is everything to us—you would always be seen as the wife of Jack Smith, the mason’s son, and definitely not as the wife of a London professional. It's the negatives, not the positives, that people always talk about. That’s enough; let's not go further. You could argue all night and prove whatever you want; I’ll stand by my words.”
Elfride looked silently and hopelessly out of the window with large heavy eyes and wet cheeks.
Elfride stared quietly and despairingly out of the window with big, heavy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks.
“I call it great temerity—and long to call it audacity—in Hewby,” resumed her father. “I never heard such a thing—giving such a hobbledehoy native of this place such an introduction to me as he did. Naturally you were deceived as well as I was. I don’t blame you at all, so far.” He went and searched for Mr. Hewby’s original letter. “Here’s what he said to me: ‘Dear Sir,—Agreeably to your request of the 18th instant, I have arranged to survey and make drawings,’ et cetera. ‘My assistant, Mr. Stephen Smith,’—assistant, you see he called him, and naturally I understood him to mean a sort of partner. Why didn’t he say ‘clerk’?”
“I call it sheer boldness—and I really want to call it audacity—in Hewby,” her father continued. “I’ve never heard anything like it—introducing such a clumsy local guy to me like that. Naturally, you were just as misled as I was. I don’t blame you at all for that.” He went to look for Mr. Hewby’s original letter. “Here’s what he wrote to me: ‘Dear Sir,—In accordance with your request from the 18th of this month, I’ve arranged to survey and make drawings,’ and so on. ‘My assistant, Mr. Stephen Smith,’—he called him an assistant, you see, so I naturally thought he meant a kind of partner. Why didn’t he just say ‘clerk’?”
“They never call them clerks in that profession, because they do not write. Stephen—Mr. Smith—told me so. So that Mr. Hewby simply used the accepted word.”
“They never call them clerks in that job, because they don’t write. Stephen—Mr. Smith—told me that. So Mr. Hewby just used the common term.”
“Let me speak, please, Elfride! My assistant, Mr. Stephen Smith, will leave London by the early train to-morrow morning...MANY THANKS FOR YOUR PROPOSAL TO ACCOMMODATE HIM...YOU MAY PUT EVERY CONFIDENCE IN HIM, and may rely upon his discernment in the matter of church architecture.’ Well, I repeat that Hewby ought to be ashamed of himself for making so much of a poor lad of that sort.”
“Let me talk, please, Elfride! My assistant, Mr. Stephen Smith, will take the early train from London tomorrow morning... THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR OFFER TO HELP HIM... YOU CAN TRUST HIM COMPLETELY, and you can count on his judgment when it comes to church architecture.’ Well, I stand by what I said: Hewby should be embarrassed for making such a big deal out of a poor guy like that.”
“Professional men in London,” Elfride argued, “don’t know anything about their clerks’ fathers and mothers. They have assistants who come to their offices and shops for years, and hardly even know where they live. What they can do—what profits they can bring the firm—that’s all London men care about. And that is helped in him by his faculty of being uniformly pleasant.”
“Professional men in London,” Elfride argued, “don’t know anything about their clerks’ parents. They have assistants who work in their offices and stores for years and barely even know where they live. What they can do—what profits they can bring to the firm—that’s all London men care about. And that is supported in him by his knack for being consistently pleasant.”
“Uniform pleasantness is rather a defect than a faculty. It shows that a man hasn’t sense enough to know whom to despise.”
“Uniform pleasantness is more of a flaw than a quality. It shows that a person doesn’t have enough sense to know who to look down on.”
“It shows that he acts by faith and not by sight, as those you claim succession from directed.”
“It shows that he acts by faith and not by what he sees, just like those you say he follows.”
“That’s some more of what he’s been telling you, I suppose! Yes, I was inclined to suspect him, because he didn’t care about sauces of any kind. I always did doubt a man’s being a gentleman if his palate had no acquired tastes. An unedified palate is the irrepressible cloven foot of the upstart. The idea of my bringing out a bottle of my “40 Martinez—only eleven of them left now—to a man who didn’t know it from eighteenpenny! Then the Latin line he gave to my quotation; it was very cut-and-dried, very; or I, who haven’t looked into a classical author for the last eighteen years, shouldn’t have remembered it. Well, Elfride, you had better go to your room; you’ll get over this bit of tomfoolery in time.”
"That’s more of what he’s been saying to you, I guess! Yeah, I was starting to suspect him because he didn’t care about sauces at all. I always doubted a man’s status as a gentleman if he didn’t have any refined tastes. A lack of sophistication is the undeniable giveaway of a pretender. The thought of me bringing out a bottle of my '40 Martinez—only eleven left now—for a guy who couldn’t tell it from cheap wine! And the Latin line he threw at my quote; it was very straightforward, indeed; or I, who haven’t opened a classic book in the last eighteen years, wouldn’t have remembered it. Well, Elfride, you should probably head to your room; you’ll get past this silliness in no time."
“No, no, no, papa,” she moaned. For of all the miseries attaching to miserable love, the worst is the misery of thinking that the passion which is the cause of them all may cease.
“No, no, no, Dad,” she moaned. Because of all the sorrows that come with unhappy love, the worst is the pain of thinking that the passion causing it all might end.
“Elfride,” said her father with rough friendliness, “I have an excellent scheme on hand, which I cannot tell you of now. A scheme to benefit you and me. It has been thrust upon me for some little time—yes, thrust upon me—but I didn’t dream of its value till this afternoon, when the revelation came. I should be most unwise to refuse to entertain it.”
“Elfride,” her father said in a gruff but friendly way, “I have a great plan in mind that I can’t share with you right now. A plan that will benefit both of us. It’s been on my mind for a while—yes, it’s been pushed on me—but I didn’t realize how valuable it was until this afternoon, when it hit me. It would be really foolish of me to ignore it.”
“I don’t like that word,” she returned wearily. “You have lost so much already by schemes. Is it those wretched mines again?”
“I don’t like that word,” she replied tiredly. “You’ve already lost so much through your plans. Is it those awful mines again?”
“No; not a mining scheme.”
“No; not a mining plan.”
“Railways?”
"Trains?"
“Nor railways. It is like those mysterious offers we see advertised, by which any gentleman with no brains at all may make so much a week without risk, trouble, or soiling his fingers. However, I am intending to say nothing till it is settled, though I will just say this much, that you soon may have other fish to fry than to think of Stephen Smith. Remember, I wish, not to be angry, but friendly, to the young man; for your sake I’ll regard him as a friend in a certain sense. But this is enough; in a few days you will be quite my way of thinking. There, now, go to your bedroom. Unity shall bring you up some supper. I wish you not to be here when he comes back.”
“Also no railways. It’s like those sketchy offers we see advertised, where any guy with zero brains can make a ton of money every week without any risk, hassle, or getting his hands dirty. That said, I’m planning to keep quiet until everything’s settled; I’ll just mention this: you may soon have other things to worry about besides Stephen Smith. Just remember, I want to be friendly, not angry, with the young man; for your sake, I’ll consider him a friend in a way. But that’s enough for now; in a few days, you’ll see things my way. Now, go to your room. Unity will bring you some dinner. I’d prefer you not be here when he returns.”
Chapter X
“Beneath the shelter of an aged tree.”
“Under the protection of an old tree.”
Stephen retraced his steps towards the cottage he had visited only two or three hours previously. He drew near and under the rich foliage growing about the outskirts of Endelstow Park, the spotty lights and shades from the shining moon maintaining a race over his head and down his back in an endless gambol. When he crossed the plank bridge and entered the garden-gate, he saw an illuminated figure coming from the enclosed plot towards the house on the other side. It was his father, with his hand in a sling, taking a general moonlight view of the garden, and particularly of a plot of the youngest of young turnips, previous to closing the cottage for the night.
Stephen walked back to the cottage he had visited just a couple of hours earlier. As he approached, the rich foliage surrounding Endelstow Park created dappled lights and shadows from the bright moon, dancing above him and down his back in an endless play. When he crossed the plank bridge and entered the garden gate, he noticed a lit figure coming from the garden toward the house on the other side. It was his father, with his arm in a sling, taking a general moonlit look at the garden, especially at a patch of the youngest turnips, before closing up the cottage for the night.
He saluted his son with customary force. “Hallo, Stephen! We should ha’ been in bed in another ten minutes. Come to see what’s the matter wi’ me, I suppose, my lad?”
He greeted his son with the usual enthusiasm. “Hey, Stephen! We should have been in bed in another ten minutes. I guess you came to check on me, right, kid?”
The doctor had come and gone, and the hand had been pronounced as injured but slightly, though it might possibly have been considered a far more serious case if Mr. Smith had been a more important man. Stephen’s anxious inquiry drew from his father words of regret at the inconvenience to the world of his doing nothing for the next two days, rather than of concern for the pain of the accident. Together they entered the house.
The doctor had come and gone, and the hand was declared injured but only a little, though it might have been seen as a much more serious issue if Mr. Smith had been a more important person. Stephen's worried question prompted his father to express regret about the inconvenience to the world of him doing nothing for the next two days, rather than showing concern for the pain from the accident. Together they entered the house.
John Smith—brown as autumn as to skin, white as winter as to clothes—was a satisfactory specimen of the village artificer in stone. In common with most rural mechanics, he had too much individuality to be a typical “working-man”—a resultant of that beach-pebble attrition with his kind only to be experienced in large towns, which metamorphoses the unit Self into a fraction of the unit Class.
John Smith—brown as autumn in skin, white as winter in clothes—was a good example of the village stone worker. Like most country craftsmen, he had too much personality to be a typical “working man”—a result of the constant interaction with his peers that only happens in big cities, which transforms the individual self into just a part of the larger class.
There was not the speciality in his labour which distinguishes the handicraftsmen of towns. Though only a mason, strictly speaking, he was not above handling a brick, if bricks were the order of the day; or a slate or tile, if a roof had to be covered before the wet weather set in, and nobody was near who could do it better. Indeed, on one or two occasions in the depth of winter, when frost peremptorily forbids all use of the trowel, making foundations to settle, stones to fly, and mortar to crumble, he had taken to felling and sawing trees. Moreover, he had practised gardening in his own plot for so many years that, on an emergency, he might have made a living by that calling.
There wasn’t the specialization in his work that you see in the craftsmen of towns. Although he was technically just a mason, he wasn’t above grabbing a brick if that was what was needed that day, or a slate or tile if a roof needed to be covered before the rainy weather hit and no one else was around who could do it better. In fact, on a couple of occasions during the harsh winter, when the frost made it impossible to use the trowel—causing foundations to settle, stones to crack, and mortar to break—he had resorted to cutting down and sawing trees. Additionally, he had been practicing gardening in his own plot for so many years that, if necessary, he could have made a living from that as well.
Probably our countryman was not such an accomplished artificer in a particular direction as his town brethren in the trades. But he was, in truth, like that clumsy pin-maker who made the whole pin, and who was despised by Adam Smith on that account and respected by Macaulay, much more the artist nevertheless.
Probably our local guy wasn’t as skilled in a specific craft as the tradesmen from his town. But he was, in reality, like that awkward pin-maker who made the entire pin, and who was looked down upon by Adam Smith for that reason and respected by Macaulay, yet still much more of an artist.
Appearing now, indoors, by the light of the candle, his stalwart healthiness was a sight to see. His beard was close and knotted as that of a chiselled Hercules; his shirt sleeves were partly rolled up, his waistcoat unbuttoned; the difference in hue between the snowy linen and the ruddy arms and face contrasting like the white of an egg and its yolk. Mrs. Smith, on hearing them enter, advanced from the pantry.
Appearing now, indoors, by the light of the candle, his robust health was impressive. His beard was thick and tangled like that of a sculpted Hercules; his shirt sleeves were rolled up, and his waistcoat was unbuttoned. The contrast between the white linen and his red arms and face was striking, like the white of an egg against its yolk. Mrs. Smith, hearing them enter, came out from the pantry.
Mrs. Smith was a matron whose countenance addressed itself to the mind rather than to the eye, though not exclusively. She retained her personal freshness even now, in the prosy afternoon-time of her life; but what her features were primarily indicative of was a sound common sense behind them; as a whole, appearing to carry with them a sort of argumentative commentary on the world in general.
Mrs. Smith was a matron whose face appealed more to the mind than to the eye, though not entirely. She still had a bit of her youthful charm, even in this ordinary phase of her life; but what her features mainly showed was the solid common sense she had. Overall, she seemed to express a kind of thoughtful commentary on the world around her.
The details of the accident were then rehearsed by Stephen’s father, in the dramatic manner also common to Martin Cannister, other individuals of the neighbourhood, and the rural world generally. Mrs. Smith threw in her sentiments between the acts, as Coryphaeus of the tragedy, to make the description complete. The story at last came to an end, as the longest will, and Stephen directed the conversation into another channel.
The details of the accident were then recounted by Stephen’s father, in a dramatic style that was also typical of Martin Cannister, other people in the neighborhood, and rural folks in general. Mrs. Smith chimed in with her thoughts between the scenes, acting as the chorus of the drama, to make the story complete. Eventually, the narrative wrapped up, as the longest will does, and Stephen shifted the conversation to another topic.
“Well, mother, they know everything about me now,” he said quietly.
“Well, mom, they know everything about me now,” he said quietly.
“Well done!” replied his father; “now my mind’s at peace.”
“Great job!” replied his father; “now I can relax.”
“I blame myself—I never shall forgive myself—for not telling them before,” continued the young man.
“I blame myself—I’ll never forgive myself—for not telling them sooner,” the young man continued.
Mrs. Smith at this point abstracted her mind from the former subject. “I don’t see what you have to grieve about, Stephen,” she said. “People who accidentally get friends don’t, as a first stroke, tell the history of their families.”
Mrs. Smith at this point shifted her focus away from the previous topic. “I don’t see what you have to be upset about, Stephen,” she said. “People who just happen to make friends don’t, right off the bat, share the story of their families.”
“Ye’ve done no wrong, certainly,” said his father.
“You haven’t done anything wrong, for sure,” said his father.
“No; but I should have spoken sooner. There’s more in this visit of mine than you think—a good deal more.”
“No; but I should have said something earlier. There's more to my visit than you realize—a lot more.”
“Not more than I think,” Mrs. Smith replied, looking contemplatively at him. Stephen blushed; and his father looked from one to the other in a state of utter incomprehension.
“Not more than I think,” Mrs. Smith replied, looking thoughtfully at him. Stephen blushed; and his father looked from one to the other in a state of complete confusion.
“She’s a pretty piece enough,” Mrs. Smith continued, “and very lady-like and clever too. But though she’s very well fit for you as far as that is, why, mercy “pon me, what ever do you want any woman at all for yet?”
“She’s a pretty enough girl,” Mrs. Smith went on, “and very ladylike and smart too. But even though she’s a good match for you in that sense, I mean, honestly, what on earth do you even want a woman for right now?”
John made his naturally short mouth a long one, and wrinkled his forehead, “That’s the way the wind d’blow, is it?” he said.
John stretched his naturally short mouth into a long one and furrowed his forehead, “So that’s how the wind blows, is it?” he said.
“Mother,” exclaimed Stephen, “how absurdly you speak! Criticizing whether she’s fit for me or no, as if there were room for doubt on the matter! Why, to marry her would be the great blessing of my life—socially and practically, as well as in other respects. No such good fortune as that, I’m afraid; she’s too far above me. Her family doesn’t want such country lads as I in it.”
“Mom,” Stephen exclaimed, “you’re being so ridiculous! Questioning whether she’s good enough for me or not, as if there’s any doubt about it! Honestly, marrying her would be the best thing that ever happened to me—socially, practically, and in so many other ways. But I doubt I’ll ever have that kind of luck; she’s just too far out of my league. Her family wouldn’t accept someone like me from the countryside.”
“Then if they don’t want you, I’d see them dead corpses before I’d want them, and go to better families who do want you.”
“Then if they don’t want you, I’d rather see them dead than have them, and go to better families who actually do want you.”
“Ah, yes; but I could never put up with the distaste of being welcomed among such people as you mean, whilst I could get indifference among such people as hers.”
“Ah, yes; but I could never stand the discomfort of being welcomed among the kind of people you're talking about, when I could have indifference among the kind of people she knows.”
“What crazy twist o’ thinking will enter your head next?” said his mother. “And come to that, she’s not a bit too high for you, or you too low for her. See how careful I be to keep myself up. I’m sure I never stop for more than a minute together to talk to any journeymen people; and I never invite anybody to our party o’ Christmases who are not in business for themselves. And I talk to several toppermost carriage people that come to my lord’s without saying ma’am or sir to ’em, and they take it as quiet as lambs.”
“What crazy idea are you going to come up with next?” his mother said. “And besides, she’s not too good for you, nor are you too low for her. See how careful I am to keep my status up. I make sure I never spend more than a minute chatting with any working-class people; and I never invite anyone to our Christmas party who isn’t self-employed. I talk to several top-tier carriage drivers who come to my lord’s without saying ma’am or sir to them, and they take it calmly like lambs.”
“You curtseyed to the vicar, mother; and I wish you hadn’t.”
“You curtsied to the vicar, Mom; and I wish you hadn’t.”
“But it was before he called me by my Christian name, or he would have got very little curtseying from me!” said Mrs. Smith, bridling and sparkling with vexation. “You go on at me, Stephen, as if I were your worst enemy! What else could I do with the man to get rid of him, banging it into me and your father by side and by seam, about his greatness, and what happened when he was a young fellow at college, and I don’t know what-all; the tongue o’ en flopping round his mouth like a mop-rag round a dairy. That ’a did, didn’t he, John?”
“But it was before he called me by my first name, or he wouldn’t have gotten much of a curtsy from me!” said Mrs. Smith, flaring up and seething with irritation. “You keep at me, Stephen, like I'm your worst enemy! What else could I do with the guy to get him to leave, hammering on me and your dad about his greatness, and what happened when he was a young man in college, and I don’t know what else; his tongue just flapping around in his mouth like a dirty mop in a dairy. Right, John?”
“That’s about the size o’t,” replied her husband.
"That's about the size of it," her husband replied.
“Every woman now-a-days,” resumed Mrs. Smith, “if she marry at all, must expect a father-in-law of a rank lower than her father. The men have gone up so, and the women have stood still. Every man you meet is more the dand than his father; and you are just level wi’ her.”
“Every woman these days,” continued Mrs. Smith, “if she marries at all, should expect a father-in-law of a lower status than her own dad. The men have risen in rank, while the women have stayed the same. Every man you meet is more fashionable than his father; and you’re just on the same level as her.”
“That’s what she thinks herself.”
"That’s what she thinks."
“It only shows her sense. I knew she was after “ee, Stephen—I knew it.”
“It just shows her common sense. I knew she was going after him, Stephen—I knew it.”
“After me! Good Lord, what next!”
“After me! Oh my gosh, what now!”
“And I really must say again that you ought not to be in such a hurry, and wait for a few years. You might go higher than a bankrupt pa’son’s girl then.”
“And I really have to say again that you shouldn't be in such a rush and should wait a few years. You might be able to do better than a broke pastor’s daughter by then.”
“The fact is, mother,” said Stephen impatiently, “you don’t know anything about it. I shall never go higher, because I don’t want to, nor should I if I lived to be a hundred. As to you saying that she’s after me, I don’t like such a remark about her, for it implies a scheming woman, and a man worth scheming for, both of which are not only untrue, but ludicrously untrue, of this case. Isn’t it so, father?”
“The fact is, Mom,” Stephen said impatiently, “you don’t know anything about it. I’ll never go further because I don’t want to, nor would I even if I lived to be a hundred. As for you saying that she’s interested in me, I don’t like that kind of remark about her, because it suggests a manipulative woman and a man worth manipulating for, both of which are not only untrue but ridiculously untrue in this situation. Isn’t that right, Dad?”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand the matter well enough to gie my opinion,” said his father, in the tone of the fox who had a cold and could not smell.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand the situation well enough to give my opinion,” said his father, in the tone of a fox with a cold who couldn’t smell.
“She couldn’t have been very backward anyhow, considering the short time you have known her,” said his mother. “Well I think that five years hence you’ll be plenty young enough to think of such things. And really she can very well afford to wait, and will too, take my word. Living down in an out-step place like this, I am sure she ought to be very thankful that you took notice of her. She’d most likely have died an old maid if you hadn’t turned up.”
“She couldn’t have been that behind the times anyway, considering how little time you’ve known her,” said his mother. “I think that in five years, you’ll be more than young enough to think about these things. And honestly, she can definitely afford to wait, and she will, trust me. Living in a place like this, she should be really grateful that you noticed her. She probably would have ended up an old maid if you hadn’t come along.”
“All nonsense,” said Stephen, but not aloud.
“All nonsense,” Stephen thought, but he didn’t say it out loud.
“A nice little thing she is,” Mrs. Smith went on in a more complacent tone now that Stephen had been talked down; “there’s not a word to say against her, I’ll own. I see her sometimes decked out like a horse going to fair, and I admire her for’t. A perfect little lady. But people can’t help their thoughts, and if she’d learnt to make figures instead of letters when she was at school ’twould have been better for her pocket; for as I said, there never were worse times for such as she than now.”
“A nice little thing she is,” Mrs. Smith continued, sounding more satisfied now that Stephen had been put in his place; “there’s nothing negative I could say about her, I’ll admit. Sometimes I see her all dressed up like a horse ready for the fair, and I admire her for it. A perfect little lady. But people can’t control their thoughts, and if she had learned to do math instead of writing when she was in school, it would have been better for her financially; because as I said, there has never been a worse time for someone like her than now.”
“Now, now, mother!” said Stephen with smiling deprecation.
“Come on, mom!” said Stephen with a smile, trying to downplay it.
“But I will!” said his mother with asperity. “I don’t read the papers for nothing, and I know men all move up a stage by marriage. Men of her class, that is, parsons, marry squires’ daughters; squires marry lords’ daughters; lords marry dukes’ daughters; dukes marry queens’ daughters. All stages of gentlemen mate a stage higher; and the lowest stage of gentlewomen are left single, or marry out of their class.”
“But I will!” his mother said sharply. “I don’t read the papers for nothing, and I know men all move up a level when they get married. Men of her class, that is, clergy marry the daughters of landowners; landowners marry the daughters of nobles; nobles marry the daughters of dukes; dukes marry the daughters of queens. All levels of gentlemen pair up a level higher, and the lowest level of gentlewomen either remain single or marry someone outside their class.”
“But you said just now, dear mother——” retorted Stephen, unable to resist the temptation of showing his mother her inconsistency. Then he paused.
“But you just said, dear mom——” Stephen replied, unable to resist the urge to highlight his mother’s inconsistency. Then he paused.
“Well, what did I say?” And Mrs. Smith prepared her lips for a new campaign.
“Well, what did I say?” And Mrs. Smith got ready for a new push.
Stephen, regretting that he had begun, since a volcano might be the consequence, was obliged to go on.
Stephen, regretting that he had started, since it could lead to a volcanic eruption, felt he had to continue.
“You said I wasn’t out of her class just before.”
“You said I wasn’t beneath her before.”
“Yes, there, there! That’s you; that’s my own flesh and blood. I’ll warrant that you’ll pick holes in everything your mother says, if you can, Stephen. You are just like your father for that; take anybody’s part but mine. Whilst I am speaking and talking and trying and slaving away for your good, you are waiting to catch me out in that way. So you are in her class, but ’tis what HER people would CALL marrying out of her class. Don’t be so quarrelsome, Stephen!”
“Yes, there, there! That’s you; that’s my own flesh and blood. I bet you’ll find faults in everything your mother says, if you can, Stephen. You’re just like your father in that way; always taking someone else’s side except mine. While I’m here speaking, trying, and working hard for your benefit, you’re just waiting to catch me in a mistake. So you might be in her circle, but her people would say it’s marrying out of her league. Don’t be so argumentative, Stephen!”
Stephen preserved a discreet silence, in which he was imitated by his father, and for several minutes nothing was heard but the ticking of the green-faced case-clock against the wall.
Stephen kept quiet, and his father did the same. For several minutes, the only sound was the ticking of the green-faced wall clock.
“I’m sure,” added Mrs. Smith in a more philosophic tone, and as a terminative speech, “if there’d been so much trouble to get a husband in my time as there is in these days—when you must make a god-almighty of a man to get en to hae ye—I’d have trod clay for bricks before I’d ever have lowered my dignity to marry, or there’s no bread in nine loaves.”
“I’m sure,” Mrs. Smith added thoughtfully, wrapping up her point, “if there had been as much trouble finding a husband in my time as there is nowadays—when you have to make a god out of a man to even have a chance with him—I’d have gone through hell to make bricks before I’d ever lower my dignity to marry, or there’s no bread in nine loaves.”
The discussion now dropped, and as it was getting late, Stephen bade his parents farewell for the evening, his mother none the less warmly for their sparring; for although Mrs. Smith and Stephen were always contending, they were never at enmity.
The conversation came to an end, and as it was getting late, Stephen said goodnight to his parents, his mother just as warm despite their arguing; because even though Mrs. Smith and Stephen were always butting heads, they were never really at odds.
“And possibly,” said Stephen, “I may leave here altogether to-morrow; I don’t know. So that if I shouldn’t call again before returning to London, don’t be alarmed, will you?”
“And maybe,” Stephen said, “I might leave here completely tomorrow; I’m not sure. So if I don’t come by again before going back to London, don’t worry, okay?”
“But didn’t you come for a fortnight?” said his mother. “And haven’t you a month’s holiday altogether? They are going to turn you out, then?”
“But didn’t you come for two weeks?” said his mother. “And don’t you have a whole month off? So, are they going to kick you out?”
“Not at all. I may stay longer; I may go. If I go, you had better say nothing about my having been here, for her sake. At what time of the morning does the carrier pass Endelstow lane?”
“Not at all. I might stay longer; I might leave. If I leave, it’s best not to mention that I was here, for her sake. What time does the carrier pass Endelstow Lane in the morning?”
“Seven o’clock.”
“7:00.”
And then he left them. His thoughts were, that should the vicar permit him to become engaged, to hope for an engagement, or in any way to think of his beloved Elfride, he might stay longer. Should he be forbidden to think of any such thing, he resolved to go at once. And the latter, even to young hopefulness, seemed the more probable alternative.
And then he left them. He thought that if the vicar allowed him to get engaged, to have any hope of being engaged, or to think about his beloved Elfride, he might stick around longer. But if he was told he shouldn’t think about any of that, he decided he would leave right away. To his youthful optimism, the latter seemed like the more likely outcome.
Stephen walked back to the vicarage through the meadows, as he had come, surrounded by the soft musical purl of the water through little weirs, the modest light of the moon, the freshening smell of the dews out-spread around. It was a time when mere seeing is meditation, and meditation peace. Stephen was hardly philosopher enough to avail himself of Nature’s offer. His constitution was made up of very simple particulars; was one which, rare in the spring-time of civilizations, seems to grow abundant as a nation gets older, individuality fades, and education spreads; that is, his brain had extraordinary receptive powers, and no great creativeness. Quickly acquiring any kind of knowledge he saw around him, and having a plastic adaptability more common in woman than in man, he changed colour like a chameleon as the society he found himself in assumed a higher and more artificial tone. He had not many original ideas, and yet there was scarcely an idea to which, under proper training, he could not have added a respectable co-ordinate.
Stephen walked back to the vicarage through the meadows, just like he had come, surrounded by the gentle sound of water flowing through small weirs, the soft light of the moon, and the fresh smell of the dew all around. It was a moment when simply seeing becomes meditation, and meditation brings peace. Stephen wasn’t quite philosophical enough to take advantage of Nature’s offer. His makeup consisted of very simple things; it was one that, while rare in the early stages of civilizations, seems to become more common as a nation ages, individuality fades, and education spreads. In other words, his brain had a remarkable ability to absorb knowledge without much creativity. He quickly learned any information he encountered, and he had a flexibility more typical of women than men, changing his behavior like a chameleon as the society he was in became more sophisticated and artificial. He didn’t have many original ideas, but there was hardly an idea that, with proper training, he couldn’t have contributed something substantial to.
He saw nothing outside himself to-night; and what he saw within was a weariness to his flesh. Yet to a dispassionate observer, his pretensions to Elfride, though rather premature, were far from absurd as marriages go, unless the accidental proximity of simple but honest parents could be said to make them so.
He saw nothing outside himself tonight; and what he saw within was a tiredness in his body. Yet to an impartial observer, his claims to Elfride, while somewhat early, were far from ridiculous as marriages go, unless the chance closeness of uncomplicated but sincere parents could be considered to make them so.
The clock struck eleven when he entered the house. Elfride had been waiting with scarcely a movement since he departed. Before he had spoken to her she caught sight of him passing into the study with her father. She saw that he had by some means obtained the private interview he desired.
The clock struck eleven when he stepped into the house. Elfride had been waiting almost without moving since he left. Before he said a word to her, she noticed him going into the study with her dad. She realized he had somehow managed to get the private meeting he wanted.
A nervous headache had been growing on the excitable girl during the absence of Stephen, and now she could do nothing beyond going up again to her room as she had done before. Instead of lying down she sat again in the darkness without closing the door, and listened with a beating heart to every sound from downstairs. The servants had gone to bed. She ultimately heard the two men come from the study and cross to the dining-room, where supper had been lingering for more than an hour. The door was left open, and she found that the meal, such as it was, passed off between her father and her lover without any remark, save commonplaces as to cucumbers and melons, their wholesomeness and culture, uttered in a stiff and formal way. It seemed to prefigure failure.
A nervous headache had been building up for the anxious girl during Stephen's absence, and now she could only go back to her room as she had done before. Instead of lying down, she sat in the darkness with the door open, listening with a racing heart to every sound from downstairs. The servants had gone to bed. Eventually, she heard the two men leave the study and head to the dining room, where supper had been sitting for over an hour. The door was left open, and she realized that the meal, whatever it was, passed between her father and her lover without any notable conversation, just small talk about cucumbers and melons, their health benefits and cultivation, spoken in a stiff and formal manner. It felt like a bad omen.
Shortly afterwards Stephen came upstairs to his bedroom, and was almost immediately followed by her father, who also retired for the night. Not inclined to get a light, she partly undressed and sat on the bed, where she remained in pained thought for some time, possibly an hour. Then rising to close her door previously to fully unrobing, she saw a streak of light shining across the landing. Her father’s door was shut, and he could be heard snoring regularly. The light came from Stephen’s room, and the slight sounds also coming thence emphatically denoted what he was doing. In the perfect silence she could hear the closing of a lid and the clicking of a lock,—he was fastening his hat-box. Then the buckling of straps and the click of another key,—he was securing his portmanteau. With trebled foreboding she opened her door softly, and went towards his. One sensation pervaded her to distraction. Stephen, her handsome youth and darling, was going away, and she might never see him again except in secret and in sadness—perhaps never more. At any rate, she could no longer wait till the morning to hear the result of the interview, as she had intended. She flung her dressing-gown round her, tapped lightly at his door, and whispered “Stephen!” He came instantly, opened the door, and stepped out.
Shortly after, Stephen went upstairs to his bedroom, and was almost immediately followed by her father, who also settled in for the night. Not wanting to turn on a light, she partially undressed and sat on the bed, lost in painful thought for some time, maybe an hour. Then, getting up to close her door before fully undressing, she noticed a streak of light shining across the landing. Her father’s door was closed, and he was snoring steadily. The light was coming from Stephen’s room, and the faint sounds coming from there clearly indicated what he was up to. In the complete silence, she could hear a lid closing and a lock clicking—he was fastening his hat box. Then she heard the sound of straps buckling and another key clicking—he was securing his suitcase. Overcome with dread, she opened her door quietly and made her way to his. One feeling overwhelmed her to the point of distraction. Stephen, her handsome young man and darling, was leaving, and she might never see him again except in secret and sadness—perhaps never again at all. At any rate, she could no longer wait until morning to find out what happened in the meeting, as she had planned. She wrapped her dressing gown around herself, tapped lightly at his door, and whispered, “Stephen!” He came right away, opened the door, and stepped out.
“Tell me; are we to hope?”
“Tell me, are we supposed to hope?”
He replied in a disturbed whisper, and a tear approached its outlet, though none fell.
He answered in a shaky whisper, and a tear welled up but didn't fall.
“I am not to think of such a preposterous thing—that’s what he said. And I am going to-morrow. I should have called you up to bid you good-bye.”
“I can't believe he said something so ridiculous. And I'm leaving tomorrow. I should have called you to say goodbye.”
“But he didn’t say you were to go—O Stephen, he didn’t say that?”
“But he didn’t say you had to go—O Stephen, he didn’t say that?”
“No; not in words. But I cannot stay.”
“No; not in words. But I can't stay.”
“Oh, don’t, don’t go! Do come and let us talk. Let us come down to the drawing-room for a few minutes; he will hear us here.”
“Oh, please don’t go! Come and let’s talk. Let’s head down to the living room for a few minutes; he’ll hear us here.”
She preceded him down the staircase with the taper light in her hand, looking unnaturally tall and thin in the long dove-coloured dressing-gown she wore. She did not stop to think of the propriety or otherwise of this midnight interview under such circumstances. She thought that the tragedy of her life was beginning, and, for the first time almost, felt that her existence might have a grave side, the shade of which enveloped and rendered invisible the delicate gradations of custom and punctilio. Elfride softly opened the drawing-room door and they both went in. When she had placed the candle on the table, he enclosed her with his arms, dried her eyes with his handkerchief, and kissed their lids.
She went ahead of him down the staircase, holding the candlelight in her hand, looking unnaturally tall and slender in the long gray dressing gown she wore. She didn't pause to think about whether it was appropriate to have this late-night meeting under the circumstances. She felt that the tragedy of her life was beginning, and for the first time, she realized that her life might have a serious side, the darkness of which overshadowed and made invisible the subtle distinctions of social norms and etiquette. Elfride gently opened the drawing-room door, and they both stepped inside. Once she set the candle on the table, he wrapped his arms around her, dried her eyes with his handkerchief, and kissed her eyelids.
“Stephen, it is over—happy love is over; and there is no more sunshine now!”
“Stephen, it’s over—happy love is over; and there’s no more sunshine now!”
“I will make a fortune, and come to you, and have you. Yes, I will!”
“I’m going to make a fortune, come to you, and have you. Yes, I will!”
“Papa will never hear of it—never—never! You don’t know him. I do. He is either biassed in favour of a thing, or prejudiced against it. Argument is powerless against either feeling.”
“Dad will never hear of it—never—never! You don’t know him. I do. He’s either for something or against it. You can’t change his mind with logic.”
“No; I won’t think of him so,” said Stephen. “If I appear before him some time hence as a man of established name, he will accept me—I know he will. He is not a wicked man.”
“No; I won’t think of him that way,” said Stephen. “If I show up in front of him later as a person with a solid reputation, he will accept me—I know he will. He’s not a bad guy.”
“No, he is not wicked. But you say ‘some time hence,’ as if it were no time. To you, among bustle and excitement, it will be comparatively a short time, perhaps; oh, to me, it will be its real length trebled! Every summer will be a year—autumn a year—winter a year! O Stephen! and you may forget me!”
“No, he’s not evil. But when you say ‘some time later,’ it sounds like it’s not a big deal. For you, in the middle of all the hustle and excitement, it might feel like it’s just a short time, but for me, it will feel like it’s stretched out three times longer! Every summer will feel like a year—autumn a year—winter a year! Oh, Stephen! And you might forget me!”
Forget: that was, and is, the real sting of waiting to fond-hearted woman. The remark awoke in Stephen the converse fear. “You, too, may be persuaded to give me up, when time has made me fainter in your memory. For, remember, your love for me must be nourished in secret; there will be no long visits from me to support you. Circumstances will always tend to obliterate me.”
Forget: that was, and is, the real sting of waiting for a tender-hearted woman. The remark brought out Stephen's opposite fear. “You, too, might be convinced to let me go when time has blurred my presence in your memory. Because, remember, your love for me has to be kept hidden; I won’t be able to visit you for long to keep your spirits up. Circumstances will always work to erase me.”
“Stephen,” she said, filled with her own misgivings, and unheeding his last words, “there are beautiful women where you live—of course I know there are—and they may win you away from me.” Her tears came visibly as she drew a mental picture of his faithlessness. “And it won’t be your fault,” she continued, looking into the candle with doleful eyes. “No! You will think that our family don’t want you, and get to include me with them. And there will be a vacancy in your heart, and some others will be let in.”
“Stephen,” she said, filled with her own doubts and ignoring his last words, “there are beautiful women where you live—of course, I know that—and they might win you over. Tears started to fall as she imagined him being unfaithful. “And it won’t be your fault,” she continued, gazing into the candle with sad eyes. “No! You’ll think that our family doesn’t want you and will include me in that. And there will be a void in your heart, and others will step in.”
“I could not, I would not. Elfie, do not be so full of forebodings.”
“I can’t, I won’t. Elfie, don’t be so negative.”
“Oh yes, they will,” she replied. “And you will look at them, not caring at first, and then you will look and be interested, and after a while you will think, ‘Ah, they know all about city life, and assemblies, and coteries, and the manners of the titled, and poor little Elfie, with all the fuss that’s made about her having me, doesn’t know about anything but a little house and a few cliffs and a space of sea, far away.’ And then you’ll be more interested in them, and they’ll make you have them instead of me, on purpose to be cruel to me because I am silly, and they are clever and hate me. And I hate them, too; yes, I do!”
“Oh yes, they will,” she said. “At first, you won’t care about them, but then you’ll start to look and become interested. After a while, you’ll think, ‘Ah, they know everything about city life, social events, and elite circles, while poor little Elfie, with all the attention on me, doesn’t know anything beyond her small house, a few cliffs, and a stretch of ocean far away.’ Then you’ll become more fascinated by them, and they’ll manipulate you into choosing them over me, just to be cruel, because I’m naive and they’re smart and dislike me. And I dislike them too; yes, I do!”
Her impulsive words had power to impress him at any rate with the recognition of the uncertainty of all that is not accomplished. And, worse than that general feeling, there of course remained the sadness which arose from the special features of his own case. However remote a desired issue may be, the mere fact of having entered the groove which leads to it, cheers to some extent with a sense of accomplishment. Had Mr. Swancourt consented to an engagement of no less length than ten years, Stephen would have been comparatively cheerful in waiting; they would have felt that they were somewhere on the road to Cupid’s garden. But, with a possibility of a shorter probation, they had not as yet any prospect of the beginning; the zero of hope had yet to be reached. Mr. Swancourt would have to revoke his formidable words before the waiting for marriage could even set in. And this was despair.
Her impulsive words definitely made him aware of the uncertainty that comes with unachieved goals. But even more than that general feeling, there was the sadness stemming from the specifics of his situation. No matter how far away the desired outcome might be, just knowing he was on the path towards it brought some sense of fulfillment. If Mr. Swancourt had agreed to an engagement lasting at least ten years, Stephen would have felt a bit happier while waiting; they would have felt like they were on their way to Cupid’s garden. But with the possibility of a shorter wait, they had no real hope for a start; they hadn't even reached the zero point of hope yet. Mr. Swancourt needed to take back his harsh words before the waiting for marriage could even begin. And this was despair.
“I wish we could marry now,” murmured Stephen, as an impossible fancy.
“I wish we could get married right now,” Stephen murmured, as an impossible wish.
“So do I,” said she also, as if regarding an idle dream. “’Tis the only thing that ever does sweethearts good!”
“Me too,” she said, almost like she was thinking about a pointless dream. “It’s the only thing that ever does any good for sweethearts!”
“Secretly would do, would it not, Elfie?”
“Wouldn't it be secretly nice to do, Elfie?”
“Yes, secretly would do; secretly would indeed be best,” she said, and went on reflectively: “All we want is to render it absolutely impossible for any future circumstance to upset our future intention of being happy together; not to begin being happy now.”
“Yes, keeping it a secret would be best; it really would,” she said, and continued thoughtfully: “All we want is to make it completely impossible for anything in the future to interfere with our plan to be happy together; it’s not about starting to be happy right now.”
“Exactly,” he murmured in a voice and manner the counterpart of hers. “To marry and part secretly, and live on as we are living now; merely to put it out of anybody’s power to force you away from me, dearest.”
“Exactly,” he murmured in a voice and manner just like hers. “To get married and separate quietly, and to continue living as we are now; just to make sure that no one can force you away from me, my dear.”
“Or you away from me, Stephen.”
“Or you’re away from me, Stephen.”
“Or me from you. It is possible to conceive a force of circumstance strong enough to make any woman in the world marry against her will: no conceivable pressure, up to torture or starvation, can make a woman once married to her lover anybody else’s wife.”
“Or me from you. It’s possible to imagine a situation so overwhelming that any woman in the world might marry against her will: no amount of pressure, even to the point of torture or starvation, can make a woman who is married to her lover become anyone else’s wife.”
Now up to this point the idea of an immediate secret marriage had been held by both as an untenable hypothesis, wherewith simply to beguile a miserable moment. During a pause which followed Stephen’s last remark, a fascinating perception, then an alluring conviction, flashed along the brain of both. The perception was that an immediate marriage COULD be contrived; the conviction that such an act, in spite of its daring, its fathomless results, its deceptiveness, would be preferred by each to the life they must lead under any other conditions.
Up until now, the idea of rushing into a secret marriage had seemed unrealistic to both of them, merely a way to distract themselves from a tough moment. After a brief silence following Stephen's last comment, a captivating thought and then a tempting belief raced through both their minds. The thought was that an immediate marriage COULD actually happen; the belief was that, despite its boldness, its unpredictable consequences, and its deceitfulness, they would each choose that over the life they would have to live under any other circumstances.
The youth spoke first, and his voice trembled with the magnitude of the conception he was cherishing. “How strong we should feel, Elfride! going on our separate courses as before, without the fear of ultimate separation! O Elfride! think of it; think of it!”
The young man spoke first, and his voice shook with the importance of the idea he was holding onto. “How empowered we should feel, Elfride! moving on our own paths as we did before, without the worry of final separation! Oh Elfride! consider it; consider it!”
It is certain that the young girl’s love for Stephen received a fanning from her father’s opposition which made it blaze with a dozen times the intensity it would have exhibited if left alone. Never were conditions more favourable for developing a girl’s first passing fancy for a handsome boyish face—a fancy rooted in inexperience and nourished by seclusion—into a wild unreflecting passion fervid enough for anything. All the elements of such a development were there, the chief one being hopelessness—a necessary ingredient always to perfect the mixture of feelings united under the name of loving to distraction.
It’s clear that the young girl’s love for Stephen was fueled by her father’s opposition, which made it way more intense than it would have been otherwise. There has never been a better environment for turning a girl’s brief crush on a handsome, boyish face—something based on inexperience and fed by isolation—into a wild, unthinking passion strong enough for anything. All the factors for such a transformation were present, with the main one being hopelessness—a key element always needed to mix together the emotions that fall under the label of love to distraction.
“We would tell papa soon, would we not?” she inquired timidly. “Nobody else need know. He would then be convinced that hearts cannot be played with; love encouraged be ready to grow, love discouraged be ready to die, at a moment’s notice. Stephen, do you not think that if marriages against a parent’s consent are ever justifiable, they are when young people have been favoured up to a point, as we have, and then have had that favour suddenly withdrawn?”
“We should tell Dad soon, right?” she asked nervously. “No one else needs to know. He would then understand that hearts can’t be toyed with; love that is nurtured is ready to flourish, while love that is discouraged can fade away in an instant. Stephen, don’t you think that if marriages without a parent’s approval are ever justified, it’s when young people have been supported up to a point, like us, and then suddenly have that support taken away?”
“Yes. It is not as if we had from the beginning acted in opposition to your papa’s wishes. Only think, Elfie, how pleasant he was towards me but six hours ago! He liked me, praised me, never objected to my being alone with you.”
“Yes. It's not like we have been going against your dad's wishes from the start. Just think, Elfie, how nice he was to me just six hours ago! He liked me, complimented me, and never had a problem with me being alone with you.”
“I believe he MUST like you now,” she cried. “And if he found that you irremediably belonged to me, he would own it and help you. “O Stephen, Stephen,” she burst out again, as the remembrance of his packing came afresh to her mind, “I cannot bear your going away like this! It is too dreadful. All I have been expecting miserably killed within me like this!”
“I believe he MUST like you now,” she exclaimed. “And if he realized that you absolutely belonged to me, he would accept it and support you. “O Stephen, Stephen,” she said again, remembering his packing, “I can't stand you leaving like this! It’s too awful. Everything I’ve been hoping for has died inside me like this!”
Stephen flushed hot with impulse. “I will not be a doubt to you—thought of you shall not be a misery to me!” he said. “We will be wife and husband before we part for long!”
Stephen blushed with emotion. “I won't be a source of doubt for you—thinking about you won't be a burden for me!” he said. “We will be husband and wife before we stay apart for long!”
She hid her face on his shoulder. “Anything to make SURE!” she whispered.
She buried her face in his shoulder. “Anything to make SURE!” she whispered.
“I did not like to propose it immediately,” continued Stephen. “It seemed to me—it seems to me now—like trying to catch you—a girl better in the world than I.”
“I didn’t want to suggest it right away,” continued Stephen. “It felt to me—it still feels to me—like trying to win over someone who’s on a higher level than I am.”
“Not that, indeed! And am I better in worldly station? What’s the use of have beens? We may have been something once; we are nothing now.”
“Not at all! Am I in a better position in life? What’s the point of past glories? We might have meant something once; now we’re nothing.”
Then they whispered long and earnestly together; Stephen hesitatingly proposing this and that plan, Elfride modifying them, with quick breathings, and hectic flush, and unnaturally bright eyes. It was two o’clock before an arrangement was finally concluded.
Then they whispered together for a long time, seriously discussing ideas; Stephen hesitantly suggesting various plans, while Elfride adjusted them with quick breaths, a flushed face, and unnaturally bright eyes. It was two o’clock by the time they finally reached a decision.
She then told him to leave her, giving him his light to go up to his own room. They parted with an agreement not to meet again in the morning. After his door had been some time closed he heard her softly gliding into her chamber.
She then told him to leave her, giving him his light to go up to his own room. They parted with an agreement not to meet again in the morning. After his door had been closed for a while, he heard her softly slipping into her room.
Chapter XI
“Journeys end in lovers meeting.”
"Journeys end when lovers meet."
Stephen lay watching the Great Bear; Elfride was regarding a monotonous parallelogram of window blind. Neither slept that night.
Stephen lay watching the Big Dipper; Elfride was staring at a dull rectangle of window blind. Neither of them slept that night.
Early the next morning—that is to say, four hours after their stolen interview, and just as the earliest servant was heard moving about—Stephen Smith went downstairs, portmanteau in hand. Throughout the night he had intended to see Mr. Swancourt again, but the sharp rebuff of the previous evening rendered such an interview particularly distasteful. Perhaps there was another and less honest reason. He decided to put it off. Whatever of moral timidity or obliquity may have lain in such a decision, no perception of it was strong enough to detain him. He wrote a note in his room, which stated simply that he did not feel happy in the house after Mr. Swancourt’s sudden veto on what he had favoured a few hours before; but that he hoped a time would come, and that soon, when his original feelings of pleasure as Mr. Swancourt’s guest might be recovered.
Early the next morning—about four hours after their unexpected conversation, and just as the first servant started moving around—Stephen Smith went downstairs with his suitcase in hand. All night, he had planned to see Mr. Swancourt again, but the harsh rejection from the previous evening made that meeting particularly unappealing. Perhaps there was another, less honorable reason as well. He decided to postpone it. Whatever moral hesitation or ambiguity influenced that choice, it wasn't strong enough to hold him back. He wrote a note in his room that simply said he didn’t feel comfortable in the house after Mr. Swancourt's sudden change of heart regarding what he had supported just a few hours earlier; however, he hoped that a time would come soon when his initial feelings of enjoyment as Mr. Swancourt's guest could be restored.
He expected to find the downstairs rooms wearing the gray and cheerless aspect that early morning gives to everything out of the sun. He found in the dining room a breakfast laid, of which somebody had just partaken.
He expected the downstairs rooms to look dull and gloomy, like everything does in the early morning before the sun comes up. In the dining room, he found a breakfast set out, showing that someone had just eaten.
Stephen gave the maid-servant his note of adieu. She stated that Mr. Swancourt had risen early that morning, and made an early breakfast. He was not going away that she knew of.
Stephen gave the maid his goodbye note. She said that Mr. Swancourt had gotten up early that morning and had made himself breakfast. As far as she knew, he wasn’t going anywhere.
Stephen took a cup of coffee, left the house of his love, and turned into the lane. It was so early that the shaded places still smelt like night time, and the sunny spots had hardly felt the sun. The horizontal rays made every shallow dip in the ground to show as a well-marked hollow. Even the channel of the path was enough to throw shade, and the very stones of the road cast tapering dashes of darkness westward, as long as Jael’s tent-nail.
Stephen grabbed a cup of coffee, left his love’s house, and walked down the lane. It was so early that the shaded areas still smelled like nighttime, and the sunny spots barely felt the sun. The horizontal rays made every dip in the ground stand out as a clear hollow. Even the path itself was enough to create some shade, and the stones of the road cast long shadows to the west, as long as Jael’s tent peg.
At a spot not more than a hundred yards from the vicar’s residence the lane leading thence crossed the high road. Stephen reached the point of intersection, stood still and listened. Nothing could be heard save the lengthy, murmuring line of the sea upon the adjacent shore. He looked at his watch, and then mounted a gate upon which he seated himself, to await the arrival of the carrier. Whilst he sat he heard wheels coming in two directions.
At a spot no more than a hundred yards from the vicar’s house, the lane leading there crossed the main road. Stephen arrived at the intersection, paused, and listened. The only sound was the long, soothing rumble of the sea on the nearby shore. He checked his watch and then climbed onto a gate, sitting there to wait for the carrier to arrive. While he sat, he heard wheels approaching from two directions.
The vehicle approaching on his right he soon recognized as the carrier’s. There were the accompanying sounds of the owner’s voice and the smack of his whip, distinct in the still morning air, by which he encouraged his horses up the hill.
The vehicle coming up on his right he quickly recognized as the carrier’s. He could hear the owner’s voice and the crack of his whip, clear in the quiet morning air, as he urged his horses up the hill.
The other set of wheels sounded from the lane Stephen had just traversed. On closer observation, he perceived that they were moving from the precincts of the ancient manor-house adjoining the vicarage grounds. A carriage then left the entrance gates of the house, and wheeling round came fully in sight. It was a plain travelling carriage, with a small quantity of luggage, apparently a lady’s. The vehicle came to the junction of the four ways half-a-minute before the carrier reached the same spot, and crossed directly in his front, proceeding by the lane on the other side.
The other set of wheels sounded from the lane Stephen had just crossed. Looking closer, he noticed they were coming from the grounds of the old manor house next to the vicarage. A carriage then pulled away from the entrance gates of the house and came fully into view. It was a simple travel carriage with a small amount of luggage, seemingly for a lady. The vehicle arrived at the intersection of the four roads just half a minute before the carrier got there and crossed right in front of him, heading down the lane on the other side.
Inside the carriage Stephen could just discern an elderly lady with a younger woman, who seemed to be her maid. The road they had taken led to Stratleigh, a small watering-place sixteen miles north.
Inside the carriage, Stephen could just make out an elderly lady with a younger woman who looked like her maid. The road they were on was heading to Stratleigh, a small resort town sixteen miles to the north.
He heard the manor-house gates swing again, and looking up saw another person leaving them, and walking off in the direction of the parsonage. “Ah, how much I wish I were moving that way!” felt he parenthetically. The gentleman was tall, and resembled Mr. Swancourt in outline and attire. He opened the vicarage gate and went in. Mr. Swancourt, then, it certainly was. Instead of remaining in bed that morning Mr. Swancourt must have taken it into his head to see his new neighbour off on a journey. He must have been greatly interested in that neighbour to do such an unusual thing.
He heard the manor house gates swing open again, and looking up, he saw someone else leaving and heading toward the parsonage. “Oh, how much I wish I were going that way!” he thought to himself. The man was tall and looked like Mr. Swancourt in shape and clothing. He opened the vicarage gate and went inside. So it was definitely Mr. Swancourt. Instead of staying in bed that morning, Mr. Swancourt must have decided to see his new neighbor off on a trip. He must have been really interested in that neighbor to do something so unusual.
The carrier’s conveyance had pulled up, and Stephen now handed in his portmanteau and mounted the shafts. “Who is that lady in the carriage?” he inquired indifferently of Lickpan the carrier.
The carrier’s cart had arrived, and Stephen now passed in his suitcase and climbed onto the shafts. “Who is that woman in the carriage?” he asked casually of Lickpan the carrier.
“That, sir, is Mrs. Troyton, a widder wi’ a mint o’ money. She’s the owner of all that part of Endelstow that is not Lord Luxellian’s. Only been here a short time; she came into it by law. The owner formerly was a terrible mysterious party—never lived here—hardly ever was seen here except in the month of September, as I might say.”
"That, sir, is Mrs. Troyton, a widow with a lot of money. She owns all that part of Endelstow that isn't Lord Luxellian's. She's only been here a short while; she inherited it. The previous owner was a very mysterious person—never lived here—hardly ever seen around except in September, I might add."
The horses were started again, and noise rendered further discourse a matter of too great exertion. Stephen crept inside under the tilt, and was soon lost in reverie.
The horses started moving again, and the noise made it too hard to hold a conversation. Stephen crawled inside under the cover and soon got lost in thought.
Three hours and a half of straining up hills and jogging down brought them to St. Launce’s, the market town and railway station nearest to Endelstow, and the place from which Stephen Smith had journeyed over the downs on the, to him, memorable winter evening at the beginning of the same year. The carrier’s van was so timed as to meet a starting up-train, which Stephen entered. Two or three hours’ railway travel through vertical cuttings in metamorphic rock, through oak copses rich and green, stretching over slopes and down delightful valleys, glens, and ravines, sparkling with water like many-rilled Ida, and he plunged amid the hundred and fifty thousand people composing the town of Plymouth.
Three and a half hours of pushing uphill and jogging downhill brought them to St. Launce’s, the nearest market town and railway station to Endelstow, and the place where Stephen Smith had traveled over the downs on that memorable winter evening at the start of the same year. The carrier’s van was timed to connect with a departing train, which Stephen boarded. After two or three hours of train travel through steep cuttings in metamorphic rock, through lush green oak groves, over slopes, and down into charming valleys, glens, and ravines sparkling with water like many-rilled Ida, he found himself among the one hundred and fifty thousand people living in the town of Plymouth.
There being some time upon his hands he left his luggage at the cloak-room, and went on foot along Bedford Street to the nearest church. Here Stephen wandered among the multifarious tombstones and looked in at the chancel window, dreaming of something that was likely to happen by the altar there in the course of the coming month. He turned away and ascended the Hoe, viewed the magnificent stretch of sea and massive promontories of land, but without particularly discerning one feature of the varied perspective. He still saw that inner prospect—the event he hoped for in yonder church. The wide Sound, the Breakwater, the light-house on far-off Eddystone, the dark steam vessels, brigs, barques, and schooners, either floating stilly, or gliding with tiniest motion, were as the dream, then; the dreamed-of event was as the reality.
With some time to spare, he left his luggage at the cloakroom and walked along Bedford Street to the nearest church. Here, Stephen wandered among the various tombstones and looked through the chancel window, dreaming of something that was likely to happen by the altar there in the coming month. He turned away and climbed the Hoe, taking in the stunning stretch of sea and massive cliffs, but he didn’t really focus on any specific aspect of the varied view. He was still preoccupied with the inner vision—the event he hoped for in that church. The wide Sound, the Breakwater, the distant lighthouse on Eddystone, the dark steamships, brigs, barques, and schooners, either floating quietly or moving with the slightest motion, felt like a dream; the event he envisioned was like reality.
Soon Stephen went down from the Hoe, and returned to the railway station. He took his ticket, and entered the London train.
Soon, Stephen went down from the Hoe and returned to the train station. He bought his ticket and boarded the London train.
That day was an irksome time at Endelstow vicarage. Neither father nor daughter alluded to the departure of Stephen. Mr. Swancourt’s manner towards her partook of the compunctious kindness that arises from a misgiving as to the justice of some previous act.
That day was a frustrating time at Endelstow vicarage. Neither father nor daughter mentioned Stephen's departure. Mr. Swancourt’s attitude towards her showed a guilty kindness that came from doubting the fairness of some past action.
Either from lack of the capacity to grasp the whole coup d’oeil, or from a natural endowment for certain kinds of stoicism, women are cooler than men in critical situations of the passive form. Probably, in Elfride’s case at least, it was blindness to the greater contingencies of the future she was preparing for herself, which enabled her to ask her father in a quiet voice if he could give her a holiday soon, to ride to St. Launce’s and go on to Plymouth.
Either because they can’t see the big picture, or due to a natural gift for certain types of stoicism, women tend to remain calmer than men in passive crises. In Elfride’s situation at least, it was probably her inability to foresee the larger issues ahead that allowed her to ask her father in a calm voice if he could give her a day off soon so she could ride to St. Launce’s and then on to Plymouth.
Now, she had only once before gone alone to Plymouth, and that was in consequence of some unavoidable difficulty. Being a country girl, and a good, not to say a wild, horsewoman, it had been her delight to canter, without the ghost of an attendant, over the fourteen or sixteen miles of hard road intervening between their home and the station at St. Launce’s, put up the horse, and go on the remainder of the distance by train, returning in the same manner in the evening. It was then resolved that, though she had successfully accomplished this journey once, it was not to be repeated without some attendance.
Now, she had only gone alone to Plymouth once before, and that was due to some unavoidable issue. As a country girl and a skilled, not to mention somewhat reckless, horsewoman, she loved to ride, without any escort, the fourteen or sixteen miles of rough road between their home and the station at St. Launce’s, stable the horse, and then continue the rest of the way by train, returning the same way in the evening. It was decided that, although she had managed this trip once, it would not happen again without some company.
But Elfride must not be confounded with ordinary young feminine equestrians. The circumstances of her lonely and narrow life made it imperative that in trotting about the neighbourhood she must trot alone or else not at all. Usage soon rendered this perfectly natural to herself. Her father, who had had other experiences, did not much like the idea of a Swancourt, whose pedigree could be as distinctly traced as a thread in a skein of silk, scampering over the hills like a farmer’s daughter, even though he could habitually neglect her. But what with his not being able to afford her a regular attendant, and his inveterate habit of letting anything be to save himself trouble, the circumstance grew customary. And so there arose a chronic notion in the villagers’ minds that all ladies rode without an attendant, like Miss Swancourt, except a few who were sometimes visiting at Lord Luxellian’s.
But Elfride shouldn't be confused with ordinary young women riders. Her isolated and limited lifestyle meant that while exploring the area, she had to ride alone or not at all. Over time, this became completely normal for her. Her father, who had different experiences, wasn't thrilled about the idea of a Swancourt, whose lineage could be traced as clearly as a thread in silk, running around the hills like a farmer’s daughter, even though he often ignored her. However, since he couldn't afford a regular attendant for her and had a stubborn habit of letting things slide to avoid hassle, it became a regular situation. Eventually, the villagers developed a common belief that all ladies rode without an attendant, like Miss Swancourt, except for a few who sometimes visited Lord Luxellian’s.
“I don’t like your going to Plymouth alone, particularly going to St. Launce’s on horseback. Why not drive, and take the man?”
“I don’t like that you're going to Plymouth alone, especially riding to St. Launce’s on horseback. Why not drive and take the guy with you?”
“It is not nice to be so overlooked.” Worm’s company would not seriously have interfered with her plans, but it was her humour to go without him.
“It’s not great to be so overlooked.” Worm’s presence wouldn’t have really messed with her plans, but she preferred to do things without him.
“When do you want to go?” said her father.
“When do you want to go?” her father asked.
She only answered, “Soon.”
She just replied, “Soon.”
“I will consider,” he said.
“I'll think about it,” he said.
Only a few days elapsed before she asked again. A letter had reached her from Stephen. It had been timed to come on that day by special arrangement between them. In it he named the earliest morning on which he could meet her at Plymouth. Her father had been on a journey to Stratleigh, and returned in unusual buoyancy of spirit. It was a good opportunity; and since the dismissal of Stephen her father had been generally in a mood to make small concessions, that he might steer clear of large ones connected with that outcast lover of hers.
Only a few days passed before she asked again. A letter had arrived from Stephen. It was timed to reach her that day through a special arrangement between them. In it, he mentioned the earliest morning he could meet her in Plymouth. Her father had been on a trip to Stratleigh and returned in a surprisingly good mood. It was a good opportunity; and since Stephen's dismissal, her father had generally been in a position to make small concessions to avoid any big ones related to that outcast lover of hers.
“Next Thursday week I am going from home in a different direction,” said her father. “In fact, I shall leave home the night before. You might choose the same day, for they wish to take up the carpets, or some such thing, I think. As I said, I don’t like you to be seen in a town on horseback alone; but go if you will.”
“Next Thursday week, I'm heading out from home in a different direction,” her father said. “Actually, I’ll leave home the night before. You could pick the same day since they want to take up the carpets or something like that, I think. Like I mentioned, I don’t like you being seen alone in town on horseback; but go if you want.”
Thursday week. Her father had named the very day that Stephen also had named that morning as the earliest on which it would be of any use to meet her; that was, about fifteen days from the day on which he had left Endelstow. Fifteen days—that fragment of duration which has acquired such an interesting individuality from its connection with the English marriage law.
Thursday next week. Her father had specified the exact day that Stephen had also mentioned that morning as the earliest it would be useful to meet her; that is, about fifteen days from the day he left Endelstow. Fifteen days—that piece of time that has gained such a unique significance due to its connection with the English marriage law.
She involuntarily looked at her father so strangely, that on becoming conscious of the look she paled with embarrassment. Her father, too, looked confused. What was he thinking of?
She accidentally glanced at her father in such a strange way that when she realized it, she turned pale with embarrassment. Her father looked confused as well. What was he thinking?
There seemed to be a special facility offered her by a power external to herself in the circumstance that Mr. Swancourt had proposed to leave home the night previous to her wished-for day. Her father seldom took long journeys; seldom slept from home except perhaps on the night following a remote Visitation. Well, she would not inquire too curiously into the reason of the opportunity, nor did he, as would have been natural, proceed to explain it of his own accord. In matters of fact there had hitherto been no reserve between them, though they were not usually confidential in its full sense. But the divergence of their emotions on Stephen’s account had produced an estrangement which just at present went even to the extent of reticence on the most ordinary household topics.
There seemed to be some special chance given to her by a force beyond her control because Mr. Swancourt had decided to leave home the night before her desired day. Her father rarely went on long trips and seldom stayed away from home except maybe after a distant Visitation. Well, she wouldn’t ask too many questions about why this opportunity came up, and he didn’t explain it himself, as one might expect. Up until now, they hadn’t held back much from each other, even if they weren't completely open. However, the differences in their feelings about Stephen had created a distance that, at this moment, extended even to silence on the most everyday topics at home.
Elfride was almost unconsciously relieved, persuading herself that her father’s reserve on his business justified her in secrecy as regarded her own—a secrecy which was necessarily a foregone decision with her. So anxious is a young conscience to discover a palliative, that the ex post facto nature of a reason is of no account in excluding it.
Elfride felt a sense of relief without really realizing it, convincing herself that her father's distance regarding his work gave her the right to keep her own matters private—a decision that was already made for her. A young conscience is so eager to find an excuse that the fact that the reason comes after the decision doesn't really matter in eliminating it.
The intervening fortnight was spent by her mostly in walking by herself among the shrubs and trees, indulging sometimes in sanguine anticipations; more, far more frequently, in misgivings. All her flowers seemed dull of hue; her pets seemed to look wistfully into her eyes, as if they no longer stood in the same friendly relation to her as formerly. She wore melancholy jewellery, gazed at sunsets, and talked to old men and women. It was the first time that she had had an inner and private world apart from the visible one about her. She wished that her father, instead of neglecting her even more than usual, would make some advance—just one word; she would then tell all, and risk Stephen’s displeasure. Thus brought round to the youth again, she saw him in her fancy, standing, touching her, his eyes full of sad affection, hopelessly renouncing his attempt because she had renounced hers; and she could not recede.
The two weeks that followed were mostly spent by her walking alone among the bushes and trees, sometimes giving in to hopeful thoughts; but much more often, she was filled with doubt. All her flowers seemed colorless; her pets looked at her with longing eyes, as if they no longer felt the same bond with her as before. She wore gloomy jewelry, watched sunsets, and chatted with elderly men and women. It was the first time she had an inner and private world separate from the visible one around her. She wished her father, instead of ignoring her even more than usual, would make some effort—just one word; then she would reveal everything and risk Stephen’s anger. This brought her back to thoughts of the young man, imagining him standing close, touching her, his eyes filled with sorrowful love, hopelessly giving up his pursuit because she had given up hers; and she felt she couldn’t pull back.
On the Wednesday she was to receive another letter. She had resolved to let her father see the arrival of this one, be the consequences what they might: the dread of losing her lover by this deed of honesty prevented her acting upon the resolve. Five minutes before the postman’s expected arrival she slipped out, and down the lane to meet him. She met him immediately upon turning a sharp angle, which hid her from view in the direction of the vicarage. The man smilingly handed one missive, and was going on to hand another, a circular from some tradesman.
On Wednesday, she was supposed to get another letter. She had decided to let her father see this one, no matter what happened: the fear of losing her lover because of her honesty kept her from going through with that decision. Five minutes before the postman was expected, she slipped out and headed down the lane to meet him. As soon as she turned a corner that hid her from the vicarage, she met him. The man grinned as he handed her one letter and was about to give her another, a circular from some business.
“No,” she said; “take that on to the house.”
“No,” she said, “take that to the house.”
“Why, miss, you are doing what your father has done for the last fortnight.”
“Why, miss, you are doing what your dad has been doing for the last two weeks.”
She did not comprehend.
She didn't understand.
“Why, come to this corner, and take a letter of me every morning, all writ in the same handwriting, and letting any others for him go on to the house.” And on the postman went.
“Hey, come over to this corner and take a letter from me every morning, all written in the same handwriting, and let any other letters for him go to the house.” And the postman continued on.
No sooner had he turned the corner behind her back than she heard her father meet and address the man. She had saved her letter by two minutes. Her father audibly went through precisely the same performance as she had just been guilty of herself.
No sooner had he turned the corner out of her sight than she heard her father meet and talk to the man. She had saved her letter by two minutes. Her father went through exactly the same routine that she had just done herself.
This stealthy conduct of his was, to say the least, peculiar.
This sneaky behavior of his was, to say the least, unusual.
Given an impulsive inconsequent girl, neglected as to her inner life by her only parent, and the following forces alive within her; to determine a resultant:
Given an impulsive and carefree girl, overlooked when it comes to her inner feelings by her only parent, and the various forces at play within her; to determine an outcome:
First love acted upon by a deadly fear of separation from its object: inexperience, guiding onward a frantic wish to prevent the above-named issue: misgivings as to propriety, met by hope of ultimate exoneration: indignation at parental inconsistency in first encouraging, then forbidding: a chilling sense of disobedience, overpowered by a conscientious inability to brook a breaking of plighted faith with a man who, in essentials, had remained unaltered from the beginning: a blessed hope that opposition would turn an erroneous judgement: a bright faith that things would mend thereby, and wind up well.
First love is driven by a frightening fear of losing the one you care about; a lack of experience pushes a desperate desire to stop that from happening. There are doubts about what’s proper, but those are countered by the hope of being ultimately cleared of blame. Feeling angry about parents who first encouraged the relationship and then suddenly prohibited it adds to the confusion. There’s a cold sense of disobedience mixed with a deep moral commitment not to break a promise to a man who, at his core, has remained the same since the beginning. There’s a hopeful belief that opposition will change a wrong decision and a strong conviction that things will improve and end well.
Probably the result would, after all, have been nil, had not the following few remarks been made one day at breakfast.
Probably the outcome would have been nothing at all, if it weren't for the few comments made one day at breakfast.
Her father was in his old hearty spirits. He smiled to himself at stories too bad to tell, and called Elfride a little scamp for surreptitiously preserving some blind kittens that ought to have been drowned. After this expression, she said to him suddenly:
Her father was in good spirits. He smiled to himself at stories that were too inappropriate to share and called Elfride a little troublemaker for secretly keeping some blind kittens that should have been drowned. After saying this, she suddenly spoke to him:
“If Mr. Smith had been already in the family, you would not have been made wretched by discovering he had poor relations?”
“If Mr. Smith had already been part of the family, you wouldn’t have been so unhappy to find out he had less fortunate relatives?”
“Do you mean in the family by marriage?” he replied inattentively, and continuing to peel his egg.
“Are you talking about family by marriage?” he replied distractedly, continuing to peel his egg.
The accumulating scarlet told that was her meaning, as much as the affirmative reply.
The growing red indicated her intent, just as much as her yes.
“I should have put up with it, no doubt,” Mr. Swancourt observed.
“I definitely should have put up with it,” Mr. Swancourt said.
“So that you would not have been driven into hopeless melancholy, but have made the best of him?”
“So that you wouldn’t have fallen into hopeless sadness, but would have made the best of him?”
Elfride’s erratic mind had from her youth upwards been constantly in the habit of perplexing her father by hypothetical questions, based on absurd conditions. The present seemed to be cast so precisely in the mould of previous ones that, not being given to syntheses of circumstances, he answered it with customary complacency.
Elfride’s unpredictable mind had always confused her father with hypothetical questions based on ridiculous situations. The current moment seemed so exactly like past ones that, since he didn't tend to analyze circumstances, he answered it with his usual indifference.
“If he were allied to us irretrievably, of course I, or any sensible man, should accept conditions that could not be altered; certainly not be hopelessly melancholy about it. I don’t believe anything in the world would make me hopelessly melancholy. And don’t let anything make you so, either.”
“If he were permanently on our side, of course I, or anyone with common sense, would accept conditions that couldn’t be changed; definitely not be endlessly sad about it. I truly don’t think anything in the world would make me endlessly sad. And don’t let anything make you that way, either.”
“I won’t, papa,” she cried, with a serene brightness that pleased him.
“I won’t, Dad,” she cried, with a calm brightness that made him happy.
Certainly Mr. Swancourt must have been far from thinking that the brightness came from an exhilarating intention to hold back no longer from the mad action she had planned.
Certainly, Mr. Swancourt must have been far from thinking that the brightness came from an exciting decision to no longer hold back from the wild action she had planned.
In the evening he drove away towards Stratleigh, quite alone. It was an unusual course for him. At the door Elfride had been again almost impelled by her feelings to pour out all.
In the evening, he drove off toward Stratleigh all by himself. It was an unusual thing for him to do. At the door, Elfride had once again felt a strong urge to reveal everything.
“Why are you going to Stratleigh, papa?” she said, and looked at him longingly.
“Why are you going to Stratleigh, Dad?” she asked, looking at him with longing.
“I will tell you to-morrow when I come back,” he said cheerily; “not before then, Elfride. Thou wilt not utter what thou dost not know, and so far will I trust thee, gentle Elfride.”
“I’ll tell you tomorrow when I come back,” he said cheerfully; “not before then, Elfride. You won’t say what you don’t know, and that’s why I trust you, kind Elfride.”
She was repressed and hurt.
She felt oppressed and wounded.
“I will tell you my errand to Plymouth, too, when I come back,” she murmured.
“I'll tell you why I went to Plymouth when I get back,” she murmured.
He went away. His jocularity made her intention seem the lighter, as his indifference made her more resolved to do as she liked.
He left. His humor made her intentions feel less serious, while his indifference made her more determined to do whatever she wanted.
It was a familiar September sunset, dark-blue fragments of cloud upon an orange-yellow sky. These sunsets used to tempt her to walk towards them, as any beautiful thing tempts a near approach. She went through the field to the privet hedge, clambered into the middle of it, and reclined upon the thick boughs. After looking westward for a considerable time, she blamed herself for not looking eastward to where Stephen was, and turned round. Ultimately her eyes fell upon the ground.
It was a familiar September sunset, dark blue pieces of cloud against an orange-yellow sky. These sunsets used to draw her in, like any beautiful thing inviting closer inspection. She walked through the field to the privet hedge, climbed into the middle of it, and relaxed on the thick branches. After gazing westward for quite a while, she chastised herself for not looking eastward where Stephen was and turned around. Eventually, her eyes landed on the ground.
A peculiarity was observable beneath her. A green field spread itself on each side of the hedge, one belonging to the glebe, the other being a part of the land attached to the manor-house adjoining. On the vicarage side she saw a little footpath, the distinctive and altogether exceptional feature of which consisted in its being only about ten yards long; it terminated abruptly at each end.
A strange thing was noticeable below her. A green field stretched out on either side of the hedge, one owned by the church, the other part of the land connected to the nearby manor house. On the vicarage side, she spotted a small footpath, which was unique because it was only about ten yards long; it ended suddenly at both ends.
A footpath, suddenly beginning and suddenly ending, coming from nowhere and leading nowhere, she had never seen before.
A footpath that started and ended abruptly, appearing out of nowhere and going nowhere, was something she had never encountered before.
Yes, she had, on second thoughts. She had seen exactly such a path trodden in the front of barracks by the sentry.
Yes, she had, on second thoughts. She had seen exactly such a path worn down in front of the barracks by the guard.
And this recollection explained the origin of the path here. Her father had trodden it by pacing up and down, as she had once seen him doing.
And this memory explained how the path got here. Her father had worn it down by walking back and forth, just like she remembered seeing him do.
Sitting on the hedge as she sat now, her eyes commanded a view of both sides of it. And a few minutes later, Elfride looked over to the manor side.
Sitting on the hedge like she was now, her eyes had a clear view of both sides. A few minutes later, Elfride glanced over to the manor side.
Here was another sentry path. It was like the first in length, and it began and ended exactly opposite the beginning and ending of its neighbour, but it was thinner, and less distinct.
Here was another guard path. It was the same length as the first, starting and ending directly across from its neighbor, but it was thinner and less defined.
Two reasons existed for the difference. This one might have been trodden by a similar weight of tread to the other, exercised a less number of times; or it might have been walked just as frequently, but by lighter feet.
Two reasons could explain the difference. One path may have been walked with a similar weight as the other but less often; or it could have been walked just as frequently, but by lighter feet.
Probably a gentleman from Scotland-yard, had he been passing at the time, might have considered the latter alternative as the more probable. Elfride thought otherwise, so far as she thought at all. But her own great To-Morrow was now imminent; all thoughts inspired by casual sights of the eye were only allowed to exercise themselves in inferior corners of her brain, previously to being banished altogether.
Probably a guy from Scotland Yard, if he had been passing by at the time, might have thought the latter option was more likely. Elfride felt differently, as much as she thought at all. But her own significant Tomorrow was now approaching; all thoughts sparked by random sights were only allowed to occupy minor areas of her mind before being completely pushed out.
Elfride was at length compelled to reason practically upon her undertaking. All her definite perceptions thereon, when the emotion accompanying them was abstracted, amounted to no more than these:
Elfride finally had to think practically about her task. Once the emotions tied to her thoughts were set aside, all she could clearly understand was just this:
“Say an hour and three-quarters to ride to St. Launce’s.
“It's about an hour and fifteen minutes to ride to St. Launce’s.”
“Say half an hour at the Falcon to change my dress.
“Let’s meet at the Falcon in half an hour so I can change my outfit.”
“Say two hours waiting for some train and getting to Plymouth.
“Spend two hours waiting for a train and then arrive in Plymouth.”
“Say an hour to spare before twelve o’clock.
“Say an hour to spare before noon."
“Total time from leaving Endelstow till twelve o’clock, five hours.
“Total time from leaving Endelstow until twelve o’clock, five hours.
“Therefore I shall have to start at seven.”
“Therefore, I’ll need to start at seven.”
No surprise or sense of unwontedness entered the minds of the servants at her early ride. The monotony of life we associate with people of small incomes in districts out of the sound of the railway whistle, has one exception, which puts into shade the experience of dwellers about the great centres of population—that is, in travelling. Every journey there is more or less an adventure; adventurous hours are necessarily chosen for the most commonplace outing. Miss Elfride had to leave early—that was all.
No surprise or sense of anything unusual crossed the minds of the servants when she left for her ride early. The routine of life we connect with people of low incomes in areas away from the sound of the train whistle has one exception that makes it more interesting than the lives of those in major cities—that is, travel. Every trip has the potential to be an adventure; even the most ordinary outings are planned for the most exciting times. Miss Elfride just had to leave early—that was all.
Elfride never went out on horseback but she brought home something—something found, or something bought. If she trotted to town or village, her burden was books. If to hills, woods, or the seashore, it was wonderful mosses, abnormal twigs, a handkerchief of wet shells or seaweed.
Elfride never rode out on horseback, but she always returned with something—something she discovered or something she purchased. If she went to town or the village, she came back with books. If she went to the hills, woods, or the beach, she brought back beautiful mosses, unusual twigs, or a handkerchief full of wet shells or seaweed.
Once, in muddy weather, when Pansy was walking with her down the street of Castle Boterel, on a fair-day, a packet in front of her and a packet under her arm, an accident befell the packets, and they slipped down. On one side of her, three volumes of fiction lay kissing the mud; on the other numerous skeins of polychromatic wools lay absorbing it. Unpleasant women smiled through windows at the mishap, the men all looked round, and a boy, who was minding a ginger-bread stall whilst the owner had gone to get drunk, laughed loudly. The blue eyes turned to sapphires, and the cheeks crimsoned with vexation.
Once, in the muddy weather, when Pansy was walking with her down the street of Castle Boterel on a fair day, a package in front of her and a package under her arm, an accident happened with the packages, and they slipped down. On one side of her, three books lay in the mud; on the other side, several colorful skeins of yarn soaked it up. Unpleasant women smiled at the incident from their windows, the men all turned to look, and a boy, who was watching a gingerbread stall while the owner went off to get drunk, laughed loudly. Her blue eyes turned to sapphires, and her cheeks flushed with frustration.
After that misadventure she set her wits to work, and was ingenious enough to invent an arrangement of small straps about the saddle, by which a great deal could be safely carried thereon, in a small compass. Here she now spread out and fastened a plain dark walking-dress and a few other trifles of apparel. Worm opened the gate for her, and she vanished away.
After that unfortunate event, she put her mind to work and cleverly created a setup of small straps around the saddle, allowing her to carry a lot of things securely in a compact space. She then spread out and secured a simple dark walking dress and a few other small items. Worm opened the gate for her, and she disappeared.
One of the brightest mornings of late summer shone upon her. The heather was at its purplest, the furze at its yellowest, the grasshoppers chirped loud enough for birds, the snakes hissed like little engines, and Elfride at first felt lively. Sitting at ease upon Pansy, in her orthodox riding-habit and nondescript hat, she looked what she felt. But the mercury of those days had a trick of falling unexpectedly. First, only for one minute in ten had she a sense of depression. Then a large cloud, that had been hanging in the north like a black fleece, came and placed itself between her and the sun. It helped on what was already inevitable, and she sank into a uniformity of sadness.
One of the brightest mornings of late summer lit up her surroundings. The heather was in full purple bloom, the furze was at its brightest yellow, the grasshoppers chirped loudly enough to compete with birds, the snakes hissed like tiny engines, and Elfride initially felt energized. Sitting comfortably on Pansy, dressed in her standard riding outfit and vague hat, she looked as vibrant as she felt. But the weather back then had a way of changing unexpectedly. At first, she only felt a twinge of sadness one minute out of ten. Then, a big cloud that had been hanging in the northern sky like a dark fleece moved in front of the sun. This only added to what was already a sinking feeling, and she gradually fell into a steady sadness.
She turned in the saddle and looked back. They were now on an open table-land, whose altitude still gave her a view of the sea by Endelstow. She looked longingly at that spot.
She turned in the saddle and looked back. They were now on an open plateau, high enough that she could still see the sea by Endelstow. She gazed longingly at that spot.
During this little revulsion of feeling Pansy had been still advancing, and Elfride felt it would be absurd to turn her little mare’s head the other way. “Still,” she thought, “if I had a mamma at home I WOULD go back!”
During this brief feeling of disgust, Pansy had kept moving forward, and Elfride felt it would be silly to turn her little mare around. “Still,” she thought, “if I had a mom at home, I WOULD go back!”
And making one of those stealthy movements by which women let their hearts juggle with their brains, she did put the horse’s head about, as if unconsciously, and went at a hand-gallop towards home for more than a mile. By this time, from the inveterate habit of valuing what we have renounced directly the alternative is chosen, the thought of her forsaken Stephen recalled her, and she turned about, and cantered on to St. Launce’s again.
And making one of those sneaky moves that women use to balance their feelings with their logic, she turned the horse's head around, almost without realizing it, and took off at a fast gallop toward home for over a mile. At this point, due to the deep-rooted habit of wishing for what we've given up once we choose a different path, the thought of her lost Stephen brought her back to him, and she turned around and cantered back to St. Launce’s again.
This miserable strife of thought now began to rage in all its wildness. Overwrought and trembling, she dropped the rein upon Pansy’s shoulders, and vowed she would be led whither the horse would take her.
This miserable struggle of thought now started to go wild. Overwhelmed and shaking, she let the reins fall onto Pansy’s shoulders and swore she would be taken wherever the horse would lead her.
Pansy slackened her pace to a walk, and walked on with her agitated burden for three or four minutes. At the expiration of this time they had come to a little by-way on the right, leading down a slope to a pool of water. The pony stopped, looked towards the pool, and then advanced and stooped to drink.
Pansy slowed down to a walk and carried her anxious load for three or four minutes. After that time, they reached a small side path on the right that led down a slope to a pond. The pony halted, glanced at the pond, then moved forward and bent down to drink.
Elfride looked at her watch and discovered that if she were going to reach St. Launce’s early enough to change her dress at the Falcon, and get a chance of some early train to Plymouth—there were only two available—it was necessary to proceed at once.
Elfride glanced at her watch and realized that if she wanted to get to St. Launce's early enough to change her dress at the Falcon and have a shot at catching one of the two early trains to Plymouth, she needed to leave right away.
She was impatient. It seemed as if Pansy would never stop drinking; and the repose of the pool, the idle motions of the insects and flies upon it, the placid waving of the flags, the leaf-skeletons, like Genoese filigree, placidly sleeping at the bottom, by their contrast with her own turmoil made her impatience greater.
She was restless. It felt like Pansy would never stop drinking, and the calmness of the pool, the lazy movements of the insects and flies on it, the gentle swaying of the flags, and the leaf skeletons, looking like delicate Genoese filigree peacefully resting at the bottom, only made her impatience feel worse by comparison to her own inner chaos.
Pansy did turn at last, and went up the slope again to the high-road. The pony came upon it, and stood cross-wise, looking up and down. Elfride’s heart throbbed erratically, and she thought, “Horses, if left to themselves, make for where they are best fed. Pansy will go home.”
Pansy finally turned and walked back up the slope to the main road. The pony got there and stood sideways, looking up and down. Elfride’s heart raced unpredictably, and she thought, “Horses, when left on their own, head toward where they get the best food. Pansy will go home.”
Pansy turned and walked on towards St. Launce’s
Pansy turned and continued walking toward St. Launce’s.
Pansy at home, during summer, had little but grass to live on. After a run to St. Launce’s she always had a feed of corn to support her on the return journey. Therefore, being now more than half way, she preferred St. Launce’s.
Pansy at home, during summer, had little but grass to eat. After a trip to St. Launce’s, she always had a meal of corn to help her on the way back. So, now being more than halfway, she preferred St. Launce’s.
But Elfride did not remember this now. All she cared to recognize was a dreamy fancy that to-day’s rash action was not her own. She was disabled by her moods, and it seemed indispensable to adhere to the programme. So strangely involved are motives that, more than by her promise to Stephen, more even than by her love, she was forced on by a sense of the necessity of keeping faith with herself, as promised in the inane vow of ten minutes ago.
But Elfride wasn't thinking about that now. All she could see was a dreamy idea that today's impulsive action wasn't really hers. She felt overwhelmed by her emotions, and it seemed essential to stick to the plan. Motives are so complicated that, more than her promise to Stephen and even more than her love for him, she felt driven by the need to stay true to herself, as she had vowed just ten minutes earlier.
She hesitated no longer. Pansy went, like the steed of Adonis, as if she told the steps. Presently the quaint gables and jumbled roofs of St. Launce’s were spread beneath her, and going down the hill she entered the courtyard of the Falcon. Mrs. Buckle, the landlady, came to the door to meet her.
She hesitated no more. Pansy went, like Adonis's horse, as if she knew the way. Soon, the quirky gables and messy roofs of St. Launce's appeared below her, and as she descended the hill, she entered the courtyard of the Falcon. Mrs. Buckle, the landlady, came to the door to greet her.
The Swancourts were well known here. The transition from equestrian to the ordinary guise of railway travellers had been more than once performed by father and daughter in this establishment.
The Swancourts were well-known here. The switch from being horseback riders to looking like regular train travelers had been made more than once by the father and daughter at this place.
In less than a quarter of an hour Elfride emerged from the door in her walking dress, and went to the railway. She had not told Mrs. Buckle anything as to her intentions, and was supposed to have gone out shopping.
In under fifteen minutes, Elfride stepped out of the door in her walking outfit and headed to the train station. She hadn't mentioned anything to Mrs. Buckle about her plans and was assumed to be out shopping.
An hour and forty minutes later, and she was in Stephen’s arms at the Plymouth station. Not upon the platform—in the secret retreat of a deserted waiting-room.
An hour and forty minutes later, she was in Stephen’s arms at the Plymouth station. Not on the platform—in the hidden refuge of an empty waiting room.
Stephen’s face boded ill. He was pale and despondent.
Stephen's face looked troubled. He was pale and seemed downcast.
“What is the matter?” she asked.
"What's up?" she asked.
“We cannot be married here to-day, my Elfie! I ought to have known it and stayed here. In my ignorance I did not. I have the licence, but it can only be used in my parish in London. I only came down last night, as you know.”
“We can't get married here today, my Elfie! I should have known that and stayed back. I didn't realize in my ignorance. I have the license, but it can only be used in my parish in London. I just got here last night, as you know.”
“What shall we do?” she said blankly.
“What should we do?” she said, looking confused.
“There’s only one thing we can do, darling.”
“There’s only one thing we can do, babe.”
“What’s that?”
"What is that?"
“Go on to London by a train just starting, and be married there to-morrow.”
“Take a train to London that's just about to leave, and get married there tomorrow.”
“Passengers for the 11.5 up-train take their seats!” said a guard’s voice on the platform.
“Passengers for the 11:30 up-train, please take your seats!” said a guard’s voice on the platform.
“Will you go, Elfride?”
"Are you going, Elfride?"
“I will.”
"Sure!"
In three minutes the train had moved off, bearing away with it Stephen and Elfride.
In three minutes, the train had left, taking Stephen and Elfride with it.
Chapter XII
“Adieu! she cries, and waved her lily hand.”
“Goodbye!” she cried, waving her delicate hand.
The few tattered clouds of the morning enlarged and united, the sun withdrew behind them to emerge no more that day, and the evening drew to a close in drifts of rain. The water-drops beat like duck shot against the window of the railway-carriage containing Stephen and Elfride.
The few ragged clouds in the morning grew bigger and merged together, the sun hid behind them and didn’t come out again that day, and the evening ended with heavy rain. The raindrops pounded against the window of the train carriage where Stephen and Elfride sat.
The journey from Plymouth to Paddington, by even the most headlong express, allows quite enough leisure for passion of any sort to cool. Elfride’s excitement had passed off, and she sat in a kind of stupor during the latter half of the journey. She was aroused by the clanging of the maze of rails over which they traced their way at the entrance to the station.
The trip from Plymouth to Paddington, even on the fastest express train, gives plenty of time for any kind of passion to fade. Elfride's excitement had worn off, and she sat in a sort of daze during the second half of the trip. The noise of the tracks as they approached the station woke her up.
Is this London?” she said.
"Is this London?" she asked.
“Yes, darling,” said Stephen in a tone of assurance he was far from feeling. To him, no less than to her, the reality so greatly differed from the prefiguring.
“Yes, darling,” Stephen replied, trying to sound confident, although he felt anything but. For both of them, the reality was so different from what they had imagined.
She peered out as well as the window, beaded with drops, would allow her, and saw only the lamps, which had just been lit, blinking in the wet atmosphere, and rows of hideous zinc chimney-pipes in dim relief against the sky. She writhed uneasily, as when a thought is swelling in the mind which must cause much pain at its deliverance in words. Elfride had known no more about the stings of evil report than the native wild-fowl knew of the effects of Crusoe’s first shot. Now she saw a little further, and a little further still.
She looked out as much as the window, covered in droplets, would let her, and saw only the lamps, which had just been lit, flickering in the damp air, and rows of ugly zinc chimney pipes faintly outlined against the sky. She squirmed uncomfortably, like when a thought is building up in your mind that will hurt when you finally say it out loud. Elfride hadn’t known any more about the pain of gossip than the local wildfowl knew about the consequences of Crusoe’s first shot. Now she started to see a bit more, and a bit more after that.
The train stopped. Stephen relinquished the soft hand he had held all the day, and proceeded to assist her on to the platform.
The train stopped. Stephen let go of the soft hand he had held all day and moved to help her onto the platform.
This act of alighting upon strange ground seemed all that was wanted to complete a resolution within her.
This act of stepping onto unfamiliar ground felt like all she needed to finalize a decision inside her.
She looked at her betrothed with despairing eyes.
She looked at her fiancé with hopeless eyes.
“O Stephen,” she exclaimed, “I am so miserable! I must go home again—I must—I must! Forgive my wretched vacillation. I don’t like it here—nor myself—nor you!”
“O Stephen,” she cried, “I’m so unhappy! I have to go home again—I have to—I have to! Please forgive my pathetic indecision. I don’t like it here—nor do I like myself—nor you!”
Stephen looked bewildered, and did not speak.
Stephen looked confused and didn't say anything.
“Will you allow me to go home?” she implored. “I won’t trouble you to go with me. I will not be any weight upon you; only say you will agree to my returning; that you will not hate me for it, Stephen! It is better that I should return again; indeed it is, Stephen.”
“Will you let me go home?” she begged. “I won’t ask you to come with me. I won’t be any burden to you; just say you agree to my going back; that you won’t resent me for it, Stephen! It’s better for me to return; really, it is, Stephen.”
“But we can’t return now,” he said in a deprecatory tone.
“But we can’t go back now,” he said in a dismissive tone.
“I must! I will!”
“I must! I will!”
“How? When do you want to go?”
“How? When do you want to go?”
“Now. Can we go at once?”
"Can we go now?"
The lad looked hopelessly along the platform.
The guy looked hopelessly down the platform.
“If you must go, and think it wrong to remain, dearest,” said he sadly, “you shall. You shall do whatever you like, my Elfride. But would you in reality rather go now than stay till to-morrow, and go as my wife?”
“If you have to go, and think it’s wrong to stay, my dear,” he said sadly, “then you can. You can do whatever you want, my Elfride. But would you really prefer to leave now instead of staying until tomorrow and leaving as my wife?”
“Yes, yes—much—anything to go now. I must; I must!” she cried.
“Yes, yes—so much—anything to go now. I have to; I have to!” she exclaimed.
“We ought to have done one of two things,” he answered gloomily. “Never to have started, or not to have returned without being married. I don’t like to say it, Elfride—indeed I don’t; but you must be told this, that going back unmarried may compromise your good name in the eyes of people who may hear of it.”
“We should have done one of two things,” he replied gloomily. “Either we should never have started, or we should not have come back without being married. I don’t want to say this, Elfride—really, I don’t; but you need to know that returning unmarried could hurt your reputation in the eyes of people who might hear about it.”
“They will not; and I must go.”
“They won’t; and I have to go.”
“O Elfride! I am to blame for bringing you away.”
“O Elfride! I’m the one at fault for taking you away.”
“Not at all. I am the elder.”
“Not at all. I’m the older one.”
“By a month; and what’s that? But never mind that now.” He looked around. “Is there a train for Plymouth to-night?” he inquired of a guard. The guard passed on and did not speak.
“By a month; and what’s that? But never mind that now.” He looked around. “Is there a train to Plymouth tonight?” he asked a guard. The guard moved on and didn’t say anything.
“Is there a train for Plymouth to-night?” said Elfride to another.
“Is there a train to Plymouth tonight?” Elfride asked someone else.
“Yes, miss; the 8.10—leaves in ten minutes. You have come to the wrong platform; it is the other side. Change at Bristol into the night mail. Down that staircase, and under the line.”
“Yes, miss; the 8:10 leaves in ten minutes. You’re at the wrong platform; it’s on the other side. Transfer at Bristol to the night mail. Go down that staircase and under the tracks.”
They ran down the staircase—Elfride first—to the booking-office, and into a carriage with an official standing beside the door. “Show your tickets, please.” They are locked in—men about the platform accelerate their velocities till they fly up and down like shuttles in a loom—a whistle—the waving of a flag—a human cry—a steam groan—and away they go to Plymouth again, just catching these words as they glide off:
They ran down the staircase—Elfride first—to the ticket office, and hopped into a carriage with an official standing beside the door. “Please show your tickets.” They’re locked in—workers on the platform speed up, darting back and forth like shuttles in a loom—a whistle—the waving of a flag—a human shout—a steam groan—and off they go to Plymouth again, just catching these words as they pull away:
“Those two youngsters had a near run for it, and no mistake!”
“Those two kids almost got away, no doubt about it!”
Elfride found her breath.
Elfride caught her breath.
“And have you come too, Stephen? Why did you?”
“And you’ve come too, Stephen? Why did you?”
“I shall not leave you till I see you safe at St. Launce’s. Do not think worse of me than I am, Elfride.”
“I won’t leave you until I make sure you’re safe at St. Launce’s. Don’t think any less of me than I truly am, Elfride.”
And then they rattled along through the night, back again by the way they had come. The weather cleared, and the stars shone in upon them. Their two or three fellow-passengers sat for most of the time with closed eyes. Stephen sometimes slept; Elfride alone was wakeful and palpitating hour after hour.
And then they clattered through the night, retracing their route. The weather cleared up, and the stars shone down on them. Their two or three fellow passengers mostly sat with their eyes closed. Stephen occasionally dozed off, but Elfride was the only one who stayed awake, restless and anxious hour after hour.
The day began to break, and revealed that they were by the sea. Red rocks overhung them, and, receding into distance, grew livid in the blue grey atmosphere. The sun rose, and sent penetrating shafts of light in upon their weary faces. Another hour, and the world began to be busy. They waited yet a little, and the train slackened its speed in view of the platform at St. Launce’s.
The day started to dawn, showing that they were by the sea. Red rocks loomed above them, and as they faded into the distance, they turned a pale hue in the blue-grey atmosphere. The sun rose, casting sharp rays of light on their tired faces. After another hour, the world began to stir. They waited a bit longer, and the train slowed down as it approached the platform at St. Launce’s.
She shivered, and mused sadly.
She shivered and thought sadly.
“I did not see all the consequences,” she said. “Appearances are wofully against me. If anybody finds me out, I am, I suppose, disgraced.”
“I didn’t see all the consequences,” she said. “People's perceptions are really against me. If anyone discovers the truth, I guess I’ll be disgraced.”
“Then appearances will speak falsely; and how can that matter, even if they do? I shall be your husband sooner or later, for certain, and so prove your purity.”
“Then appearances will mislead; and does that even matter? I will be your husband eventually, for sure, and that will prove your purity.”
“Stephen, once in London I ought to have married you,” she said firmly. “It was my only safe defence. I see more things now than I did yesterday. My only remaining chance is not to be discovered; and that we must fight for most desperately.”
“Stephen, once I was in London I should have married you,” she said firmly. “It was my only safe defense. I see more now than I did yesterday. My only chance left is not to be found out; and that’s something we have to fight for desperately.”
They stepped out. Elfride pulled a thick veil over her face.
They stepped outside. Elfride pulled a thick veil over her face.
A woman with red and scaly eyelids and glistening eyes was sitting on a bench just inside the office-door. She fixed her eyes upon Elfride with an expression whose force it was impossible to doubt, but the meaning of which was not clear; then upon the carriage they had left. She seemed to read a sinister story in the scene.
A woman with red, scaly eyelids and shiny eyes was sitting on a bench just inside the office door. She looked at Elfride with an intense expression that was impossible to misinterpret, but its meaning was unclear; then she glanced at the carriage they had left. It seemed like she was reading a troubling story in the scene.
Elfride shrank back, and turned the other way.
Elfride flinched and turned away.
“Who is that woman?” said Stephen. “She looked hard at you.”
“Who is that woman?” Stephen asked. “She was staring at you.”
“Mrs. Jethway—a widow, and mother of that young man whose tomb we sat on the other night. Stephen, she is my enemy. Would that God had had mercy enough upon me to have hidden this from HER!”
“Mrs. Jethway—a widow and the mother of that young man whose grave we sat on the other night. Stephen, she is my enemy. I wish God had been merciful enough to keep this from HER!”
“Do not talk so hopelessly,” he remonstrated. “I don’t think she recognized us.”
“Don’t talk like that,” he protested. “I don’t think she saw us.”
“I pray that she did not.”
"I hope she didn't."
He put on a more vigorous mood.
He adopted a more energetic attitude.
“Now, we will go and get some breakfast.”
“Now, let’s go get some breakfast.”
“No, no!” she begged. “I cannot eat. I MUST get back to Endelstow.”
“No, no!” she pleaded. “I can’t eat. I HAVE to get back to Endelstow.”
Elfride was as if she had grown years older than Stephen now.
Elfride seemed like she had aged years compared to Stephen now.
“But you have had nothing since last night but that cup of tea at Bristol.”
“But you haven’t had anything since last night except that cup of tea in Bristol.”
“I can’t eat, Stephen.”
"I can't eat, Stephen."
“Wine and biscuit?”
"Wine and cookies?"
“No.”
“No.”
“Nor tea, nor coffee?”
"Neither tea nor coffee?"
“No.”
“No.”
“A glass of water?”
"Care for a glass of water?"
“No. I want something that makes people strong and energetic for the present, that borrows the strength of to-morrow for use to-day—leaving to-morrow without any at all for that matter; or even that would take all life away to-morrow, so long as it enabled me to get home again now. Brandy, that’s what I want. That woman’s eyes have eaten my heart away!”
“No. I want something that makes people strong and energetic right now, that takes tomorrow's strength for today's use—leaving tomorrow with nothing left; or even something that could take all life away tomorrow, as long as it helps me get home again now. Brandy, that’s what I want. That woman’s eyes have consumed my heart!”
“You are wild; and you grieve me, darling. Must it be brandy?”
“You're being wild, and it makes me sad, darling. Does it really have to be brandy?”
“Yes, if you please.”
"Yes, please."
“How much?”
"How much is it?"
“I don’t know. I have never drunk more than a teaspoonful at once. All I know is that I want it. Don’t get it at the Falcon.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had more than a teaspoonful at a time. All I know is that I want it. Don’t get it at the Falcon.”
He left her in the fields, and went to the nearest inn in that direction. Presently he returned with a small flask nearly full, and some slices of bread-and-butter, thin as wafers, in a paper-bag. Elfride took a sip or two.
He left her in the fields and headed to the nearest inn nearby. Soon, he came back with a small flask almost full and some slices of bread and butter, as thin as wafers, in a paper bag. Elfride took a sip or two.
“It goes into my eyes,” she said wearily. “I can’t take any more. Yes, I will; I will close my eyes. Ah, it goes to them by an inside route. I don’t want it; throw it away.”
“It goes into my eyes,” she said tiredly. “I can’t take any more. Yes, I will; I will close my eyes. Ah, it gets to them through an inner path. I don’t want it; throw it away.”
However, she could eat, and did eat. Her chief attention was concentrated upon how to get the horse from the Falcon stables without suspicion. Stephen was not allowed to accompany her into the town. She acted now upon conclusions reached without any aid from him: his power over her seemed to have departed.
However, she could eat, and did eat. Her main focus was on figuring out how to get the horse from the Falcon stables without raising any suspicion. Stephen wasn’t allowed to go with her into town. She was now acting based on decisions she made on her own: his influence over her seemed to have faded.
“You had better not be seen with me, even here where I am so little known. We have begun stealthily as thieves, and we must end stealthily as thieves, at all hazards. Until papa has been told by me myself, a discovery would be terrible.”
“You’d better not be seen with me, even here where I'm not well-known. We started out sneaking around like thieves, and we have to finish sneaking around like thieves, no matter what. Until I tell Dad myself, finding out would be a disaster.”
Walking and gloomily talking thus they waited till nearly nine o’clock, at which time Elfride thought she might call at the Falcon without creating much surprise. Behind the railway-station was the river, spanned by an old Tudor bridge, whence the road diverged in two directions, one skirting the suburbs of the town, and winding round again into the high-road to Endelstow. Beside this road Stephen sat, and awaited her return from the Falcon.
Walking and talking gloomily like that, they waited until it was almost nine o'clock, when Elfride thought she could stop by the Falcon without causing much surprise. Behind the train station was the river, crossed by an old Tudor bridge, where the road split into two directions: one went around the suburbs of the town and curved back onto the main road to Endelstow. Next to this road, Stephen sat, waiting for her to come back from the Falcon.
He sat as one sitting for a portrait, motionless, watching the chequered lights and shades on the tree-trunks, the children playing opposite the school previous to entering for the morning lesson, the reapers in a field afar off. The certainty of possession had not come, and there was nothing to mitigate the youth’s gloom, that increased with the thought of the parting now so near.
He sat still like someone posing for a portrait, watching the patterns of light and shadow on the tree trunks, the kids playing across from the school before heading in for their morning class, and the workers in a distant field. He hadn’t yet felt certain about what he owned, and nothing relieved the young man’s sadness, which deepened with the thought of the upcoming farewell.
At length she came trotting round to him, in appearance much as on the romantic morning of their visit to the cliff, but shorn of the radiance which glistened about her then. However, her comparative immunity from further risk and trouble had considerably composed her. Elfride’s capacity for being wounded was only surpassed by her capacity for healing, which rightly or wrongly is by some considered an index of transientness of feeling in general.
At last, she came trotting over to him, looking much like she did on that romantic morning when they visited the cliff, but lacking the glow that surrounded her then. Still, her relative safety from further risks and troubles had calmed her down a lot. Elfride’s ability to get hurt was only matched by her ability to heal, which, rightly or wrongly, some see as a sign of how fleeting feelings can be in general.
“Elfride, what did they say at the Falcon?”
“Elfride, what did they say at the Falcon?”
“Nothing. Nobody seemed curious about me. They knew I went to Plymouth, and I have stayed there a night now and then with Miss Bicknell. I rather calculated upon that.”
“Nothing. Nobody seemed interested in me. They knew I went to Plymouth, and I’ve stayed there overnight now and then with Miss Bicknell. I kind of counted on that.”
And now parting arose like a death to these children, for it was imperative that she should start at once. Stephen walked beside her for nearly a mile. During the walk he said sadly:
And now saying goodbye felt like a death to these kids, because she had to leave right away. Stephen walked next to her for almost a mile. During the walk, he said sadly:
“Elfride, four-and-twenty hours have passed, and the thing is not done.”
“Elfride, twenty-four hours have passed, and it’s still not done.”
“But you have insured that it shall be done.”
“But you made sure that it will be done.”
“How have I?”
"How have I?"
“O Stephen, you ask how! Do you think I could marry another man on earth after having gone thus far with you? Have I not shown beyond possibility of doubt that I can be nobody else’s? Have I not irretrievably committed myself?—pride has stood for nothing in the face of my great love. You misunderstood my turning back, and I cannot explain it. It was wrong to go with you at all; and though it would have been worse to go further, it would have been better policy, perhaps. Be assured of this, that whenever you have a home for me—however poor and humble—and come and claim me, I am ready.” She added bitterly, “When my father knows of this day’s work, he may be only too glad to let me go.”
“O Stephen, you’re asking how! Do you really think I could marry another man after everything we’ve been through? Haven’t I proven that I belong to no one else? Haven’t I fully committed myself?—pride means nothing when faced with my intense love for you. You misunderstood why I hesitated, and I can’t explain it. It was a mistake to be with you at all; and while it would have been worse to go any further, it might have been smarter. Just know this: whenever you have a place for me—no matter how small and simple—and you come to get me, I’m ready.” She added bitterly, “When my father hears about what happened today, he might actually be glad to let me leave.”
“Perhaps he may, then, insist upon our marriage at once!” Stephen answered, seeing a ray of hope in the very focus of her remorse. “I hope he may, even if we had still to part till I am ready for you, as we intended.”
“Maybe he will insist on our marriage right away!” Stephen replied, noticing a glimmer of hope in her deep regret. “I hope he does, even if we still have to be apart until I’m ready for you, like we planned.”
Elfride did not reply.
Elfride stayed silent.
“You don’t seem the same woman, Elfie, that you were yesterday.”
“You don’t seem like the same woman, Elfie, that you were yesterday.”
“Nor am I. But good-bye. Go back now.” And she reined the horse for parting. “O Stephen,” she cried, “I feel so weak! I don’t know how to meet him. Cannot you, after all, come back with me?”
“Neither am I. But goodbye. You should go back now.” And she pulled the reins of the horse to part ways. “Oh Stephen,” she exclaimed, “I feel so weak! I don’t know how to face him. Can’t you, after all, come back with me?”
“Shall I come?”
"Should I come?"
Elfride paused to think.
Elfride stopped to think.
“No; it will not do. It is my utter foolishness that makes me say such words. But he will send for you.”
“No, that won’t work. It’s my complete foolishness that makes me say such things. But he will call for you.”
“Say to him,” continued Stephen, “that we did this in the absolute despair of our minds. Tell him we don’t wish him to favour us—only to deal justly with us. If he says, marry now, so much the better. If not, say that all may be put right by his promise to allow me to have you when I am good enough for you—which may be soon. Say I have nothing to offer him in exchange for his treasure—the more sorry I; but all the love, and all the life, and all the labour of an honest man shall be yours. As to when this had better be told, I leave you to judge.”
“Tell him,” Stephen continued, “that we did this out of complete despair. Let him know we don’t want his favor—just want him to treat us fairly. If he says we should get married now, that’s great. If not, let him know everything can be fixed if he promises to let me have you when I’m good enough for you—which could be soon. Tell him I have nothing to give him in exchange for his treasure—unfortunately; but all the love, all the life, and all the work of an honest man will be yours. As for when this should be said, I’ll leave that to your judgment.”
His words made her cheerful enough to toy with her position.
His words made her cheerful enough to play around with her position.
“And if ill report should come, Stephen,” she said smiling, “why, the orange-tree must save me, as it saved virgins in St. George’s time from the poisonous breath of the dragon. There, forgive me for forwardness: I am going.”
“And if a bad rumor spreads, Stephen,” she said with a smile, “then the orange tree must protect me, just like it protected maidens in St. George’s time from the toxic breath of the dragon. There, forgive me for being so bold: I’m going now.”
Then the boy and girl beguiled themselves with words of half-parting only.
Then the boy and girl entertained themselves with words of partial farewell only.
“Own wifie, God bless you till we meet again!”
“Take care, wife, and may God bless you until we meet again!”
“Till we meet again, good-bye!”
“See you later, goodbye!”
And the pony went on, and she spoke to him no more. He saw her figure diminish and her blue veil grow gray—saw it with the agonizing sensations of a slow death.
And the pony continued on, and she didn’t say anything else to him. He watched her figure fade away and her blue veil turn gray—he felt it with the painful sensations of a slow death.
After thus parting from a man than whom she had known none greater as yet, Elfride rode rapidly onwards, a tear being occasionally shaken from her eyes into the road. What yesterday had seemed so desirable, so promising, even trifling, had now acquired the complexion of a tragedy.
After parting from a man she had never met anyone greater than, Elfride rode quickly onward, occasionally shaking a tear from her eyes onto the road. What had seemed so desirable, so promising, even trivial, just yesterday now felt like a tragedy.
She saw the rocks and sea in the neighbourhood of Endelstow, and heaved a sigh of relief.
She looked at the rocks and sea near Endelstow and let out a sigh of relief.
When she passed a field behind the vicarage she heard the voices of Unity and William Worm. They were hanging a carpet upon a line. Unity was uttering a sentence that concluded with “when Miss Elfride comes.”
When she walked by a field behind the vicarage, she heard Unity and William Worm talking. They were hanging a carpet on a line. Unity was finishing a sentence that ended with, “when Miss Elfride comes.”
“When d’ye expect her?”
“When do you expect her?”
“Not till evening now. She’s safe enough at Miss Bicknell’s, bless ye.”
“Not until evening now. She’s safe enough at Miss Bicknell’s, trust me.”
Elfride went round to the door. She did not knock or ring; and seeing nobody to take the horse, Elfride led her round to the yard, slipped off the bridle and saddle, drove her towards the paddock, and turned her in. Then Elfride crept indoors, and looked into all the ground-floor rooms. Her father was not there.
Elfride walked over to the door. She didn't knock or ring the bell; and noticing there was no one to take the horse, Elfride led her around to the yard, took off the bridle and saddle, guided her toward the paddock, and released her inside. Then Elfride sneaked indoors and checked all the rooms on the ground floor. Her father wasn't there.
On the mantelpiece of the drawing-room stood a letter addressed to her in his handwriting. She took it and read it as she went upstairs to change her habit.
On the mantelpiece in the living room was a letter written in his handwriting, addressed to her. She picked it up and read it while heading upstairs to change her clothes.
STRATLEIGH, Thursday.
STRATLEIGH, Thursday.
“DEAR ELFRIDE,—On second thoughts I will not return to-day, but only come as far as Wadcombe. I shall be at home by to-morrow afternoon, and bring a friend with me.—Yours, in haste,
“DEAR ELFRIDE,—After thinking it over, I’ve decided not to come back today, but I’ll just make it to Wadcombe. I’ll be home by tomorrow afternoon and will bring a friend with me.—Yours, in haste,
C. S.”
C.S.
After making a quick toilet she felt more revived, though still suffering from a headache. On going out of the door she met Unity at the top of the stair.
After a quick trip to the bathroom, she felt more refreshed, although she still had a headache. As she stepped out the door, she ran into Unity at the top of the stairs.
“O Miss Elfride! I said to myself ’tis her sperrit! We didn’t dream o’ you not coming home last night. You didn’t say anything about staying.”
“O Miss Elfride! I thought to myself, it’s her spirit! We didn’t expect you not to come home last night. You didn’t mention anything about staying.”
“I intended to come home the same evening, but altered my plan. I wished I hadn’t afterwards. Papa will be angry, I suppose?”
“I planned to come home that same evening, but I changed my mind. I wish I hadn’t later on. I guess Dad will be mad, right?”
“Better not tell him, miss,” said Unity.
“Better not tell him, miss,” Unity said.
“I do fear to,” she murmured. “Unity, would you just begin telling him when he comes home?”
“I’m scared to,” she whispered. “Unity, could you just start telling him when he gets home?”
“What! and get you into trouble?”
“What! And get yourself into trouble?”
“I deserve it.”
"I deserve this."
“No, indeed, I won’t,” said Unity. “It is not such a mighty matter, Miss Elfride. I says to myself, master’s taking a hollerday, and because he’s not been kind lately to Miss Elfride, she——”
“No, definitely not,” said Unity. “It’s not that big of a deal, Miss Elfride. I tell myself, the master’s on vacation, and since he hasn’t been nice to Miss Elfride lately, she——”
“Is imitating him. Well, do as you like. And will you now bring me some luncheon?”
“Is copying him. Well, do what you want. And will you bring me some lunch now?”
After satisfying an appetite which the fresh marine air had given her in its victory over an agitated mind, she put on her hat and went to the garden and summer-house. She sat down, and leant with her head in a corner. Here she fell asleep.
After enjoying a meal that the fresh sea air had stirred up in her peaceful mind, she put on her hat and headed to the garden and summer house. She sat down and rested her head in a corner. There, she drifted off to sleep.
Half-awake, she hurriedly looked at the time. She had been there three hours. At the same moment she heard the outer gate swing together, and wheels sweep round the entrance; some prior noise from the same source having probably been the cause of her awaking. Next her father’s voice was heard calling to Worm.
Half-awake, she quickly glanced at the time. She had been there for three hours. At the same moment, she heard the outer gate close, and wheels turning at the entrance; some earlier noise from the same source had probably woken her up. Then, her father’s voice called out to Worm.
Elfride passed along a walk towards the house behind a belt of shrubs. She heard a tongue holding converse with her father, which was not that of either of the servants. Her father and the stranger were laughing together. Then there was a rustling of silk, and Mr. Swancourt and his companion, or companions, to all seeming entered the door of the house, for nothing more of them was audible. Elfride had turned back to meditate on what friends these could be, when she heard footsteps, and her father exclaiming behind her:
Elfride walked along a path toward the house, surrounded by a line of bushes. She heard someone talking with her father, and it wasn’t any of the servants. Her dad and the stranger were laughing together. Then she heard the sound of silk rustling, and Mr. Swancourt and his companion, or companions, seemed to enter the house, as there was no further noise from them. Elfride had turned back to think about who these friends could be when she heard footsteps and her father shouting behind her:
“O Elfride, here you are! I hope you got on well?”
“O Elfride, there you are! I hope you did okay?”
Elfride’s heart smote her, and she did not speak.
Elfride's heart hurt, and she stayed silent.
“Come back to the summer-house a minute,” continued Mr. Swancourt; “I have to tell you of that I promised to.”
“Come back to the summer house for a minute,” Mr. Swancourt continued; “I need to tell you about what I promised.”
They entered the summer-house, and stood leaning over the knotty woodwork of the balustrade.
They walked into the summer house and leaned over the rough wooden railing of the balcony.
“Now,” said her father radiantly, “guess what I have to say.” He seemed to be regarding his own existence so intently, that he took no interest in nor even saw the complexion of hers.
“Now,” her father said brightly, “guess what I have to share.” He seemed so focused on his own thoughts that he didn’t notice or even acknowledge her expression.
“I cannot, papa,” she said sadly.
“I can't, Dad,” she said quietly.
“Try, dear.”
"Go for it, dear."
“I would rather not, indeed.”
"I'd rather not, really."
“You are tired. You look worn. The ride was too much for you. Well, this is what I went away for. I went to be married!”
“You look exhausted. You seem really worn out. That ride took a toll on you. Well, this is what I left for. I went to get married!”
“Married!” she faltered, and could hardly check an involuntary “So did I.” A moment after and her resolve to confess perished like a bubble.
“Married!” she stammered, barely able to hold back an involuntary “So did I.” A moment later, her determination to confess vanished like a bubble.
“Yes; to whom do you think? Mrs. Troyton, the new owner of the estate over the hedge, and of the old manor-house. It was only finally settled between us when I went to Stratleigh a few days ago.” He lowered his voice to a sly tone of merriment. “Now, as to your stepmother, you’ll find she is not much to look at, though a good deal to listen to. She is twenty years older than myself, for one thing.”
“Yes; who do you think? Mrs. Troyton, the new owner of the estate on the other side of the hedge and the old manor house. We only finalized everything when I went to Stratleigh a few days ago.” He lowered his voice to a playful tone. “Now, about your stepmother, you’ll see she’s not much to look at, but she definitely has a lot to say. For one thing, she’s twenty years older than I am.”
“You forget that I know her. She called here once, after we had been, and found her away from home.”
“You forget that I know her. She called here once after we had been and found her not home.”
“Of course, of course. Well, whatever her looks are, she’s as excellent a woman as ever breathed. She has had lately left her as absolute property three thousand five hundred a year, besides the devise of this estate—and, by the way, a large legacy came to her in satisfaction of dower, as it is called.”
“Of course, of course. Well, no matter what she looks like, she’s as outstanding a woman as anyone could be. Recently, she has inherited three thousand five hundred a year as her complete property, in addition to this estate—and, by the way, she also received a large legacy as a settlement for her dower, as it’s called.”
“Three thousand five hundred a year!”
“Three thousand five hundred a year!”
“And a large—well, a fair-sized—mansion in town, and a pedigree as long as my walking-stick; though that bears evidence of being rather a raked-up affair—done since the family got rich—people do those things now as they build ruins on maiden estates and cast antiques at Birmingham.”
“And a large—well, a decent-sized—mansion in town, and a family history as long as my walking stick; although that seems more like a frill they put together after the family got wealthy—people do that now just like they build fake ruins on new estates and create antiques in Birmingham.”
Elfride merely listened and said nothing.
Elfride just listened and didn’t say anything.
He continued more quietly and impressively. “Yes, Elfride, she is wealthy in comparison with us, though with few connections. However, she will introduce you to the world a little. We are going to exchange her house in Baker Street for one at Kensington, for your sake. Everybody is going there now, she says. At Easters we shall fly to town for the usual three months—I shall have a curate of course by that time. Elfride, I am past love, you know, and I honestly confess that I married her for your sake. Why a woman of her standing should have thrown herself away upon me, God knows. But I suppose her age and plainness were too pronounced for a town man. With your good looks, if you now play your cards well, you may marry anybody. Of course, a little contrivance will be necessary; but there’s nothing to stand between you and a husband with a title, that I can see. Lady Luxellian was only a squire’s daughter. Now, don’t you see how foolish the old fancy was? But come, she is indoors waiting to see you. It is as good as a play, too,” continued the vicar, as they walked towards the house. “I courted her through the privet hedge yonder: not entirely, you know, but we used to walk there of an evening—nearly every evening at last. But I needn’t tell you details now; everything was terribly matter-of-fact, I assure you. At last, that day I saw her at Stratleigh, we determined to settle it off-hand.”
He continued in a quieter, more impressive tone. “Yes, Elfride, she is wealthy compared to us, but she doesn’t have many connections. Still, she’ll help introduce you to society a bit. We're planning to swap her house on Baker Street for one in Kensington, all for your sake. Everyone is moving there now, she says. During Easter, we’ll head to the city for the usual three months—I’ll have a curate by then, of course. Elfride, I’m past the age of love, you know, and I honestly admit that I married her because of you. Why a woman of her status would settle for me, only God knows. But I guess her age and lack of beauty made her less appealing to a city man. With your looks, if you play your cards right, you could marry anyone. Sure, you’ll need a little strategy; but from what I can see, there’s nothing stopping you from landing a husband with a title. Lady Luxellian was just a squire’s daughter. Now, don’t you see how silly that old idea was? But come on, she’s inside waiting to see you. It’s almost like a show,” continued the vicar as they walked toward the house. “I used to court her through that privet hedge over there: not completely, you know, but we would take walks there in the evenings—almost every evening towards the end. But I don’t need to go into details now; it was all very straightforward, I assure you. Finally, that day I saw her at Stratleigh, we decided right then to make it official.”
“And you never said a word to me,” replied Elfride, not reproachfully either in tone or thought. Indeed, her feeling was the very reverse of reproachful. She felt relieved and even thankful. Where confidence had not been given, how could confidence be expected?
“And you never said a word to me,” Elfride replied, not in a reproachful tone or mindset. In fact, she felt the complete opposite of reproachful. She felt relieved and even grateful. If confidence hadn’t been given, how could it be expected?
Her father mistook her dispassionateness for a veil of politeness over a sense of ill-usage. “I am not altogether to blame,” he said. “There were two or three reasons for secrecy. One was the recent death of her relative the testator, though that did not apply to you. But remember, Elfride,” he continued in a stiffer tone, “you had mixed yourself up so foolishly with those low people, the Smiths—and it was just, too, when Mrs. Troyton and myself were beginning to understand each other—that I resolved to say nothing even to you. How did I know how far you had gone with them and their son? You might have made a point of taking tea with them every day, for all that I knew.”
Her father misunderstood her lack of emotion as a polite way to cover up feeling mistreated. “I'm not entirely at fault,” he said. “There were a couple of reasons for keeping things secret. One was the recent death of her relative, the testator, although that didn’t really concern you. But remember, Elfride,” he went on, his tone growing more formal, “you had foolishly gotten involved with those low-class people, the Smiths—and just when Mrs. Troyton and I were starting to get along that I decided not to say anything, even to you. How was I to know how far you’d gotten with them and their son? You could have been having tea with them every day for all I knew.”
Elfride swallowed her feelings as she best could, and languidly though flatly asked a question.
Elfride pushed her feelings down as best as she could and asked a question, sounding both relaxed and unenthused.
“Did you kiss Mrs. Troyton on the lawn about three weeks ago? That evening I came into the study and found you had just had candles in?”
“Did you kiss Mrs. Troyton on the lawn about three weeks ago? That evening I came into the study and saw that you had just had candles lit?”
Mr. Swancourt looked rather red and abashed, as middle-aged lovers are apt to do when caught in the tricks of younger ones.
Mr. Swancourt appeared somewhat embarrassed and flushed, like middle-aged lovers often do when they're caught in the antics of younger ones.
“Well, yes; I think I did,” he stammered; “just to please her, you know.” And then recovering himself he laughed heartily.
“Well, yeah; I think I did,” he stammered, “just to make her happy, you know.” And then, regaining his composure, he laughed genuinely.
“And was this what your Horatian quotation referred to?”
“And was this what your quote from Horace was talking about?”
“It was, Elfride.”
“It was, Elfride.”
They stepped into the drawing-room from the verandah. At that moment Mrs. Swancourt came downstairs, and entered the same room by the door.
They walked into the living room from the porch. At that moment, Mrs. Swancourt came downstairs and entered the same room through the door.
“Here, Charlotte, is my little Elfride,” said Mr. Swancourt, with the increased affection of tone often adopted towards relations when newly produced.
“Here, Charlotte, is my little Elfride,” said Mr. Swancourt, with the warmth in his voice that people often use with family when introducing them for the first time.
Poor Elfride, not knowing what to do, did nothing at all; but stood receptive of all that came to her by sight, hearing, and touch.
Poor Elfride, not knowing what to do, did nothing at all; but stood open to everything that came to her through sight, sound, and touch.
Mrs. Swancourt moved forward, took her step-daughter’s hand, then kissed her.
Mrs. Swancourt stepped closer, took her stepdaughter's hand, and then kissed her.
“Ah, darling!” she exclaimed good-humouredly, “you didn’t think when you showed a strange old woman over the conservatory a month or two ago, and explained the flowers to her so prettily, that she would so soon be here in new colours. Nor did she, I am sure.”
“Ah, sweetheart!” she said cheerfully, “you didn’t think that when you showed a strange old woman around the conservatory a month or two ago and explained the flowers to her so nicely, she would be back so soon in different colors. And I’m sure she didn’t either.”
The new mother had been truthfully enough described by Mr. Swancourt. She was not physically attractive. She was dark—very dark—in complexion, portly in figure, and with a plentiful residuum of hair in the proportion of half a dozen white ones to half a dozen black ones, though the latter were black indeed. No further observed, she was not a woman to like. But there was more to see. To the most superficial critic it was apparent that she made no attempt to disguise her age. She looked sixty at the first glance, and close acquaintanceship never proved her older.
The new mother had been accurately described by Mr. Swancourt. She wasn’t physically attractive. She was very dark-skinned, overweight, and had a lot of hair, with about half a dozen white strands mixed in with half a dozen black ones, although the black ones were truly dark. Beyond that, she wasn’t someone who would be liked easily. But there was more to notice. To even the most casual observer, it was clear that she didn’t try to hide her age. At first glance, she looked sixty, and getting to know her better didn’t change that impression.
Another and still more winning trait was one attaching to the corners of her mouth. Before she made a remark these often twitched gently: not backwards and forwards, the index of nervousness; not down upon the jaw, the sign of determination; but palpably upwards, in precisely the curve adopted to represent mirth in the broad caricatures of schoolboys. Only this element in her face was expressive of anything within the woman, but it was unmistakable. It expressed humour subjective as well as objective—which could survey the peculiarities of self in as whimsical a light as those of other people.
Another appealing feature was how her mouth would twitch at the corners. Before she spoke, these corners often moved gently: not back and forth, which showed nervousness; not down, which indicated determination; but clearly upwards, in the same way schoolboy caricatures depict laughter. This was the only part of her face that revealed anything about her inner self, but it was clear nonetheless. It conveyed both subjective and objective humor—able to view her own quirks as whimsically as those of others.
This is not all of Mrs. Swancourt. She had held out to Elfride hands whose fingers were literally stiff with rings, signis auroque rigentes, like Helen’s robe. These rows of rings were not worn in vanity apparently. They were mostly antique and dull, though a few were the reverse.
This isn't everything about Mrs. Swancourt. She had reached out to Elfride with hands whose fingers were literally stiff with rings, gleaming like Helen’s robe. These rows of rings didn't seem to be worn out of vanity. Most were old and dull, although a few stood out.
RIGHT HAND.
Right hand.
1st. Plainly set oval onyx, representing a devil’s head. 2nd. Green jasper intaglio, with red veins. 3rd. Entirely gold, bearing figure of a hideous griffin. 4th. A sea-green monster diamond, with small diamonds round it. 5th. Antique cornelian intaglio of dancing figure of a satyr. 6th. An angular band chased with dragons’ heads. 7th. A facetted carbuncle accompanied by ten little twinkling emeralds; &c. &c.
1st. A simple oval onyx, shaped like a devil's head. 2nd. Green jasper intaglio with red veins. 3rd. Solid gold featuring a grotesque griffin. 4th. A sea-green monster diamond surrounded by small diamonds. 5th. An antique cornelian intaglio of a dancing satyr. 6th. An angular band engraved with dragon heads. 7th. A faceted carbuncle accompanied by ten sparkling emeralds; etc. etc.
LEFT HAND.
Left hand.
1st. A reddish-yellow toadstone. 2nd. A heavy ring enamelled in colours, and bearing a jacynth. 3rd. An amethystine sapphire. 4th. A polished ruby, surrounded by diamonds. 5th. The engraved ring of an abbess. 6th. A gloomy intaglio; &c. &c.
1st. A reddish-yellow toadstone. 2nd. A heavy ring coated in colors, featuring a jacinth. 3rd. An amethyst sapphire. 4th. A polished ruby, surrounded by diamonds. 5th. The engraved ring of an abbess. 6th. A dark intaglio; etc. etc.
Beyond this rather quaint array of stone and metal Mrs. Swancourt wore no ornament whatever.
Beyond this somewhat charming mix of stone and metal, Mrs. Swancourt wore no jewelry at all.
Elfride had been favourably impressed with Mrs. Troyton at their meeting about two months earlier; but to be pleased with a woman as a momentary acquaintance was different from being taken with her as a stepmother. However, the suspension of feeling was but for a moment. Elfride decided to like her still.
Elfride had been positively impressed with Mrs. Troyton when they met about two months ago; but liking a woman as a casual acquaintance was different from being fond of her as a stepmother. However, this feeling of uncertainty lasted only a moment. Elfride chose to like her anyway.
Mrs. Swancourt was a woman of the world as to knowledge, the reverse as to action, as her marriage suggested. Elfride and the lady were soon inextricably involved in conversation, and Mr. Swancourt left them to themselves.
Mrs. Swancourt was well-informed and experienced in knowledge, but the opposite in action, as her marriage indicated. Elfride and the lady quickly became deeply engaged in conversation, and Mr. Swancourt left them to it.
“And what do you find to do with yourself here?” Mrs. Swancourt said, after a few remarks about the wedding. “You ride, I know.”
“And what do you do to keep yourself busy here?” Mrs. Swancourt said, after a few comments about the wedding. “I know you ride.”
“Yes, I ride. But not much, because papa doesn’t like my going alone.”
“Yes, I ride. But not very often, because Dad doesn’t like me going by myself.”
“You must have somebody to look after you.”
“You need someone to take care of you.”
“And I read, and write a little.”
“And I read and write a bit.”
“You should write a novel. The regular resource of people who don’t go enough into the world to live a novel is to write one.”
“You should write a novel. The usual way for people who don’t explore the world enough to experience a novel is to create one.”
“I have done it,” said Elfride, looking dubiously at Mrs. Swancourt, as if in doubt whether she would meet with ridicule there.
“I’ve done it,” said Elfride, looking uncertainly at Mrs. Swancourt, as if she was unsure whether she would be met with mockery there.
“That’s right. Now, then, what is it about, dear?”
“Exactly. So, what’s it about, dear?”
“About—well, it is a romance of the Middle Ages.”
“About—that’s a love story from the Middle Ages.”
“Knowing nothing of the present age, which everybody knows about, for safety you chose an age known neither to you nor other people. That’s it, eh? No, no; I don’t mean it, dear.”
“Knowing nothing about the current time, which everyone is aware of, for safety you picked a time that neither you nor anyone else knows about. Is that right? No, no; I didn’t mean it that way, dear.”
“Well, I have had some opportunities of studying mediaeval art and manners in the library and private museum at Endelstow House, and I thought I should like to try my hand upon a fiction. I know the time for these tales is past; but I was interested in it, very much interested.”
“Well, I’ve had some chances to study medieval art and culture in the library and private museum at Endelstow House, and I thought I’d like to try writing a fiction piece. I know these stories are out of style now, but I found it really interesting, very much interesting.”
“When is it to appear?”
“When will it appear?”
“Oh, never, I suppose.”
“Oh, I guess not.”
“Nonsense, my dear girl. Publish it, by all means. All ladies do that sort of thing now; not for profit, you know, but as a guarantee of mental respectability to their future husbands.”
“Nonsense, my dear girl. Go ahead and publish it. All women do that kind of thing these days; not for profit, of course, but to show they’re mentally respectable to their future husbands.”
“An excellent idea of us ladies.”
“Great idea, everyone.”
“Though I am afraid it rather resembles the melancholy ruse of throwing loaves over castle-walls at besiegers, and suggests desperation rather than plenty inside.”
“Although I’m afraid it looks more like the sad trick of tossing bread over castle walls to the attackers, and it gives the impression of desperation rather than abundance inside.”
“Did you ever try it?”
"Have you ever tried it?"
“No; I was too far gone even for that.”
“No; I was too far gone for even that.”
“Papa says no publisher will take my book.”
“Dad says no publisher will accept my book.”
“That remains to be proved. I’ll give my word, my dear, that by this time next year it shall be printed.”
“That still needs to be proven. I promise you, my dear, that by this time next year, it will be published.”
“Will you, indeed?” said Elfride, partially brightening with pleasure, though she was sad enough in her depths. “I thought brains were the indispensable, even if the only, qualification for admission to the republic of letters. A mere commonplace creature like me will soon be turned out again.”
“Will you actually?” Elfride said, her mood lifting a bit with joy, even though she felt pretty down inside. “I thought intelligence was the essential, if not the only, requirement to join the world of literature. A regular person like me will be turned away in no time.”
“Oh no; once you are there you’ll be like a drop of water in a piece of rock-crystal—your medium will dignify your commonness.”
“Oh no; once you’re there you’ll be like a drop of water in a piece of rock crystal—your environment will elevate your ordinary nature.”
“It will be a great satisfaction,” Elfride murmured, and thought of Stephen, and wished she could make a great fortune by writing romances, and marry him and live happily.
“It would be such a great satisfaction,” Elfride murmured, thinking of Stephen, wishing she could make a fortune writing romances, marry him, and live happily ever after.
“And then we’ll go to London, and then to Paris,” said Mrs. Swancourt. “I have been talking to your father about it. But we have first to move into the manor-house, and we think of staying at Torquay whilst that is going on. Meanwhile, instead of going on a honeymoon scamper by ourselves, we have come home to fetch you, and go all together to Bath for two or three weeks.”
“And then we’ll go to London, and then to Paris,” said Mrs. Swancourt. “I’ve been talking to your dad about it. But first, we need to move into the manor house, and we’re thinking of staying in Torquay while that’s happening. In the meantime, instead of going on a honeymoon trip just the two of us, we’ve come home to get you, and we’ll all go to Bath together for two or three weeks.”
Elfride assented pleasantly, even gladly; but she saw that, by this marriage, her father and herself had ceased for ever to be the close relations they had been up to a few weeks ago. It was impossible now to tell him the tale of her wild elopement with Stephen Smith.
Elfride agreed pleasantly, even happily; but she realized that, because of this marriage, her father and she would no longer be the close family they had been just a few weeks ago. It was now impossible to tell him the story of her impulsive escape with Stephen Smith.
He was still snugly housed in her heart. His absence had regained for him much of that aureola of saintship which had been nearly abstracted during her reproachful mood on that miserable journey from London. Rapture is often cooled by contact with its cause, especially if under awkward conditions. And that last experience with Stephen had done anything but make him shine in her eyes. His very kindness in letting her return was his offence. Elfride had her sex’s love of sheer force in a man, however ill-directed; and at that critical juncture in London Stephen’s only chance of retaining the ascendancy over her that his face and not his parts had acquired for him, would have been by doing what, for one thing, he was too youthful to undertake—that was, dragging her by the wrist to the rails of some altar, and peremptorily marrying her. Decisive action is seen by appreciative minds to be frequently objectless, and sometimes fatal; but decision, however suicidal, has more charm for a woman than the most unequivocal Fabian success.
He was still comfortably nestled in her heart. His absence had given him back much of that saintly aura that had almost faded during her critical mood on that awful trip from London. Passion often cools when it comes into contact with its source, especially under uncomfortable circumstances. And that last encounter with Stephen did nothing to enhance his image in her eyes. His kindness in letting her come back was actually a flaw. Elfride had her gender's instinctual attraction to sheer strength in a man, even if it was misguided; and at that crucial moment in London, Stephen's only chance of keeping the upper hand over her—a position he had gained more from his looks than his character—would have been to do something he was too young to consider: dragging her by the wrist to the altar and marrying her without hesitation. Decisive actions are often seen by discerning minds as sometimes unnecessary, and occasionally harmful; but a decision, even a reckless one, holds more appeal for a woman than the most unambiguous gradual success.
However, some of the unpleasant accessories of that occasion were now out of sight again, and Stephen had resumed not a few of his fancy colours.
However, some of the unpleasant aspects of that occasion were now out of sight again, and Stephen had picked up a few of his vibrant colors once more.
Chapter XIII
“He set in order many proverbs.”
“He compiled many proverbs.”
It is London in October—two months further on in the story.
It’s October in London—two months later in the story.
Bede’s Inn has this peculiarity, that it faces, receives from, and discharges into a bustling thoroughfare speaking only of wealth and respectability, whilst its postern abuts on as crowded and poverty-stricken a network of alleys as are to be found anywhere in the metropolis. The moral consequences are, first, that those who occupy chambers in the Inn may see a great deal of shirtless humanity’s habits and enjoyments without doing more than look down from a back window; and second they may hear wholesome though unpleasant social reminders through the medium of a harsh voice, an unequal footstep, the echo of a blow or a fall, which originates in the person of some drunkard or wife-beater, as he crosses and interferes with the quiet of the square. Characters of this kind frequently pass through the Inn from a little foxhole of an alley at the back, but they never loiter there.
Bede’s Inn has a unique feature: it faces a busy street that represents wealth and respectability, while its back entrance opens onto a crowded, impoverished network of alleys found throughout the city. The moral implications are twofold: first, guests in the Inn can observe the habits and pleasures of the less fortunate without doing more than looking down from a window; second, they can hear uncomfortable but necessary reminders of society through a gruff voice, uneven footsteps, or the sound of a blow or a fall, often caused by a drunkard or an abusive partner disrupting the peace of the square. People like this frequently pass through the Inn from a small alley at the back, but they never linger there.
It is hardly necessary to state that all the sights and movements proper to the Inn are most orderly. On the fine October evening on which we follow Stephen Smith to this place, a placid porter is sitting on a stool under a sycamore-tree in the midst, with a little cane in his hand. We notice the thick coat of soot upon the branches, hanging underneath them in flakes, as in a chimney. The blackness of these boughs does not at present improve the tree—nearly forsaken by its leaves as it is—but in the spring their green fresh beauty is made doubly beautiful by the contrast. Within the railings is a flower-garden of respectable dahlias and chrysanthemums, where a man is sweeping the leaves from the grass.
It hardly needs to be said that everything at the Inn is very orderly. On the lovely October evening when we follow Stephen Smith here, a calm porter is sitting on a stool under a sycamore tree in the center, with a little cane in his hand. We notice the thick layer of soot on the branches, hanging in flakes like in a chimney. The darkness of these branches doesn’t exactly enhance the tree—especially with its leaves nearly all gone—but in the spring, their fresh green beauty will be even more striking against the contrast. Inside the railings is a flower garden filled with respectable dahlias and chrysanthemums, where a man is sweeping leaves off the grass.
Stephen selects a doorway, and ascends an old though wide wooden staircase, with moulded balusters and handrail, which in a country manor-house would be considered a noteworthy specimen of Renaissance workmanship. He reaches a door on the first floor, over which is painted, in black letters, “Mr. Henry Knight”—“Barrister-at-law” being understood but not expressed. The wall is thick, and there is a door at its outer and inner face. The outer one happens to be ajar: Stephen goes to the other, and taps.
Stephen chooses a doorway and climbs a wide, old wooden staircase, featuring ornate balusters and a handrail. In a country manor house, it would be seen as a remarkable example of Renaissance craftsmanship. He arrives at a door on the first floor, which has “Mr. Henry Knight” painted in black letters—“Barrister-at-law” is implied but not stated. The wall is thick, with doors on both the outer and inner sides. The outer door is slightly open, so Stephen approaches the other door and knocks.
“Come in!” from distant penetralia.
“Come in!” from distant places.
First was a small anteroom, divided from the inner apartment by a wainscoted archway two or three yards wide. Across this archway hung a pair of dark-green curtains, making a mystery of all within the arch except the spasmodic scratching of a quill pen. Here was grouped a chaotic assemblage of articles—mainly old framed prints and paintings—leaning edgewise against the wall, like roofing slates in a builder’s yard. All the books visible here were folios too big to be stolen—some lying on a heavy oak table in one corner, some on the floor among the pictures, the whole intermingled with old coats, hats, umbrellas, and walking-sticks.
First was a small anteroom, separated from the inner room by a wainscoted archway two or three yards wide. Across this archway hung a pair of dark-green curtains, creating a mystery of everything inside the arch except for the sporadic scratching of a quill pen. Here was a chaotic collection of items—mostly old framed prints and paintings—leaning haphazardly against the wall, like roofing slates in a construction site. All the books visible here were large folios too big to be stolen—some lying on a heavy oak table in one corner, some on the floor among the pictures, the whole mixed in with old coats, hats, umbrellas, and walking sticks.
Stephen pushed aside the curtain, and before him sat a man writing away as if his life depended upon it—which it did.
Stephen pushed aside the curtain, and in front of him sat a man typing away as if his life depended on it—which it did.
A man of thirty in a speckled coat, with dark brown hair, curly beard, and crisp moustache: the latter running into the beard on each side of the mouth, and, as usual, hiding the real expression of that organ under a chronic aspect of impassivity.
A thirty-year-old man in a speckled coat, with dark brown hair, a curly beard, and a neat mustache: the mustache flowing into the beard on either side of his mouth, and, as always, masking the true expression of that part of his face with a constant look of detachment.
“Ah, my dear fellow, I knew ’twas you,” said Knight, looking up with a smile, and holding out his hand.
“Ah, my dear friend, I knew it was you,” said Knight, looking up with a smile and extending his hand.
Knight’s mouth and eyes came to view now. Both features were good, and had the peculiarity of appearing younger and fresher than the brow and face they belonged to, which were getting sicklied o’er by the unmistakable pale cast. The mouth had not quite relinquished rotundity of curve for the firm angularities of middle life; and the eyes, though keen, permeated rather than penetrated: what they had lost of their boy-time brightness by a dozen years of hard reading lending a quietness to their gaze which suited them well.
Knight’s mouth and eyes came into view now. Both features were attractive and had the oddity of looking younger and fresher than the forehead and face they belonged to, which were taking on a noticeable pale shade. The mouth hadn’t completely lost its rounded curve for the sharp angles of middle age; and the eyes, although sharp, conveyed rather than pierced: what they had lost of their youthful brightness from a dozen years of intense reading gave a calmness to their gaze that suited them well.
A lady would have said there was a smell of tobacco in the room: a man that there was not.
A woman would have said there was a smell of tobacco in the room; a man would have disagreed.
Knight did not rise. He looked at a timepiece on the mantelshelf, then turned again to his letters, pointing to a chair.
Knight didn’t get up. He glanced at the clock on the mantel, then turned back to his letters, gesturing to a chair.
“Well, I am glad you have come. I only returned to town yesterday; now, don’t speak, Stephen, for ten minutes; I have just that time to the late post. At the eleventh minute, I’m your man.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here. I just got back to town yesterday; now, don’t say anything, Stephen, for ten minutes; I only have that long before the late post. At the eleventh minute, I’m all yours.”
Stephen sat down as if this kind of reception was by no means new, and away went Knight’s pen, beating up and down like a ship in a storm.
Stephen sat down as if this kind of welcome was nothing new to him, and Knight’s pen started moving up and down like a ship caught in a storm.
Cicero called the library the soul of the house; here the house was all soul. Portions of the floor, and half the wall-space, were taken up by book-shelves ordinary and extraordinary; the remaining parts, together with brackets, side-tables, &c., being occupied by casts, statuettes, medallions, and plaques of various descriptions, picked up by the owner in his wanderings through France and Italy.
Cicero referred to the library as the soul of the home; here, the home was all soul. Parts of the floor and half of the wall space were filled with regular and unique bookshelves; the rest of the space, along with brackets, side tables, etc., was filled with casts, figurines, medallions, and plaques of various types, collected by the owner during his travels through France and Italy.
One stream only of evening sunlight came into the room from a window quite in the corner, overlooking a court. An aquarium stood in the window. It was a dull parallelopipedon enough for living creatures at most hours of the day; but for a few minutes in the evening, as now, an errant, kindly ray lighted up and warmed the little world therein, when the many-coloured zoophytes opened and put forth their arms, the weeds acquired a rich transparency, the shells gleamed of a more golden yellow, and the timid community expressed gladness more plainly than in words.
One beam of evening sunlight streamed into the room from a window tucked in the corner, looking out over a courtyard. An aquarium sat in the window. It was a rather dull box for living creatures most of the day; but for a few minutes in the evening, like now, a stray, warm ray lit up the little world inside, making the colorful zoophytes stretch out their arms, the plants gain a beautiful clarity, the shells shine with a richer golden hue, and the shy community showed their happiness more clearly than words could express.
Within the prescribed ten minutes Knight flung down his pen, rang for the boy to take the letters to the post, and at the closing of the door exclaimed, “There; thank God, that’s done. Now, Stephen, pull your chair round, and tell me what you have been doing all this time. Have you kept up your Greek?”
Within the allotted ten minutes, Knight tossed his pen aside, called for the boy to take the letters to the post, and as the door closed, he exclaimed, “There; thank God, that's finished. Now, Stephen, move your chair over and tell me what you’ve been up to all this time. Have you been keeping up with your Greek?”
“No.”
“No.”
“How’s that?”
"How's that working out?"
“I haven’t enough spare time.”
“I don’t have enough spare time.”
“That’s nonsense.”
"That's ridiculous."
“Well, I have done a great many things, if not that. And I have done one extraordinary thing.”
“Well, I’ve done a lot of things, if not that. And I’ve done one amazing thing.”
Knight turned full upon Stephen. “Ah-ha! Now, then, let me look into your face, put two and two together, and make a shrewd guess.”
Knight turned fully to Stephen. “Ah-ha! Now, let me see your face, put two and two together, and take an educated guess.”
Stephen changed to a redder colour.
Stephen turned a deeper shade of red.
“Why, Smith,” said Knight, after holding him rigidly by the shoulders, and keenly scrutinising his countenance for a minute in silence, “you have fallen in love.”
“Why, Smith,” said Knight, gripping him firmly by the shoulders and studying his face in silence for a minute, “you’ve fallen in love.”
“Well—the fact is——”
"Well, the truth is—"
“Now, out with it.” But seeing that Stephen looked rather distressed, he changed to a kindly tone. “Now Smith, my lad, you know me well enough by this time, or you ought to; and you know very well that if you choose to give me a detailed account of the phenomenon within you, I shall listen; if you don’t, I am the last man in the world to care to hear it.”
“Now, spill it.” But seeing that Stephen looked pretty upset, he switched to a more gentle tone. “Now Smith, my boy, you know me well enough by now, or you should; and you know that if you decide to give me a detailed explanation of what’s going on with you, I’ll listen; if you don’t, I’m the last person who would want to hear it.”
“I’ll tell this much: I HAVE fallen in love, and I want to be MARRIED.”
“I'll say this: I HAVE fallen in love, and I want to get MARRIED.”
Knight looked ominous as this passed Stephen’s lips.
Knight looked ominous as this left Stephen's lips.
“Don’t judge me before you have heard more,” cried Stephen anxiously, seeing the change in his friend’s countenance.
“Don’t judge me before you’ve heard more,” Stephen said anxiously, noticing the change in his friend’s expression.
“I don’t judge. Does your mother know about it?”
“I don’t judge. Does your mom know about it?”
“Nothing definite.”
"Nothing confirmed."
“Father?”
"Dad?"
“No. But I’ll tell you. The young person——”
“No. But I’ll tell you. The young person——”
“Come, that’s dreadfully ungallant. But perhaps I understand the frame of mind a little, so go on. Your sweetheart——”
“Come on, that’s really not very chivalrous. But maybe I get the mindset a bit, so go ahead. Your sweetheart——”
“She is rather higher in the world than I am.”
“She is quite a bit higher in status than I am.”
“As it should be.”
"Just as it should be."
“And her father won’t hear of it, as I now stand.”
“And her dad won't hear of it, as I stand here now.”
“Not an uncommon case.”
"Not an unusual case."
“And now comes what I want your advice upon. Something has happened at her house which makes it out of the question for us to ask her father again now. So we are keeping silent. In the meantime an architect in India has just written to Mr. Hewby to ask whether he can find for him a young assistant willing to go over to Bombay to prepare drawings for work formerly done by the engineers. The salary he offers is 350 rupees a month, or about 35 Pounds. Hewby has mentioned it to me, and I have been to Dr. Wray, who says I shall acclimatise without much illness. Now, would you go?”
“And now here's where I need your advice. Something's happened at her house that makes it impossible for us to approach her father again right now. So, we're staying quiet about it. In the meantime, an architect in India just reached out to Mr. Hewby asking if he can find a young assistant willing to go to Bombay to prepare drawings for work that was previously done by the engineers. The salary he’s offering is 350 rupees a month, which is about 35 pounds. Hewby brought it up to me, and I spoke to Dr. Wray, who says I should adapt without getting too sick. So, would you go?”
“You mean to say, because it is a possible road to the young lady.”
"You mean to say, because it could lead to the young lady."
“Yes; I was thinking I could go over and make a little money, and then come back and ask for her. I have the option of practising for myself after a year.”
"Yeah; I was thinking I could go make some money, and then come back and ask for her. I can choose to practice for myself after a year."
“Would she be staunch?”
“Would she be loyal?”
“Oh yes! For ever—to the end of her life!”
“Oh yes! Forever—to the end of her life!”
“How do you know?”
"How do you know?"
“Why, how do people know? Of course, she will.”
“Why, how do people know? Of course, she will.”
Knight leant back in his chair. “Now, though I know her thoroughly as she exists in your heart, Stephen, I don’t know her in the flesh. All I want to ask is, is this idea of going to India based entirely upon a belief in her fidelity?”
Knight leaned back in his chair. “Now, even though I know her completely as she exists in your heart, Stephen, I don’t know her in person. All I want to ask is, is this idea of going to India based solely on your belief in her loyalty?”
“Yes; I should not go if it were not for her.”
“Yes, I wouldn’t go if it weren’t for her.”
“Well, Stephen, you have put me in rather an awkward position. If I give my true sentiments, I shall hurt your feelings; if I don’t, I shall hurt my own judgment. And remember, I don’t know much about women.”
“Well, Stephen, you’ve put me in a pretty awkward spot. If I share my true feelings, I’ll hurt your feelings; if I don’t, I’ll compromise my own judgment. And keep in mind, I don’t know much about women.”
“But you have had attachments, although you tell me very little about them.”
“But you've had relationships, even though you share very little about them.”
“And I only hope you’ll continue to prosper till I tell you more.”
“And I really hope you’ll keep thriving until I share more with you.”
Stephen winced at this rap. “I have never formed a deep attachment,” continued Knight. “I never have found a woman worth it. Nor have I been once engaged to be married.”
Stephen winced at this remark. “I’ve never formed a deep attachment,” Knight continued. “I’ve never found a woman worth it. And I’ve never been engaged to be married.”
“You write as if you had been engaged a hundred times, if I may be allowed to say so,” said Stephen in an injured tone.
“You write like you’ve been in a hundred relationships, if I can say that,” Stephen said defensively.
“Yes, that may be. But, my dear Stephen, it is only those who half know a thing that write about it. Those who know it thoroughly don’t take the trouble. All I know about women, or men either, is a mass of generalities. I plod along, and occasionally lift my eyes and skim the weltering surface of mankind lying between me and the horizon, as a crow might; no more.”
“Yeah, that might be true. But, my dear Stephen, it’s only those who know a little that write about it. Those who really understand don’t bother. All I know about women, or men for that matter, is just a bunch of general ideas. I get by, and sometimes I look up to see the chaotic surface of humanity stretching out before me, like a crow might; nothing more.”
Knight stopped as if he had fallen into a train of thought, and Stephen looked with affectionate awe at a master whose mind, he believed, could swallow up at one meal all that his own head contained.
Knight paused as if he had entered a deep train of thought, and Stephen gazed at his mentor with a mix of admiration and wonder, feeling that this master’s mind could absorb everything his own head held in one sitting.
There was affective sympathy, but no great intellectual fellowship, between Knight and Stephen Smith. Knight had seen his young friend when the latter was a cherry-cheeked happy boy, had been interested in him, had kept his eye upon him, and generously helped the lad to books, till the mere connection of patronage grew to acquaintance, and that ripened to friendship. And so, though Smith was not at all the man Knight would have deliberately chosen as a friend—or even for one of a group of a dozen friends—he somehow was his friend. Circumstance, as usual, did it all. How many of us can say of our most intimate alter ego, leaving alone friends of the outer circle, that he is the man we should have chosen, as embodying the net result after adding up all the points in human nature that we love, and principles we hold, and subtracting all that we hate? The man is really somebody we got to know by mere physical juxtaposition long maintained, and was taken into our confidence, and even heart, as a makeshift.
There was emotional sympathy, but no deep intellectual connection, between Knight and Stephen Smith. Knight had known his young friend when he was a cheerful, rosy-cheeked boy, had taken an interest in him, had kept an eye on him, and generously helped the kid with books, until their initial patron-client relationship turned into a friendly acquaintance, and eventually blossomed into friendship. So, even though Smith wasn’t the kind of person Knight would have consciously chosen as a friend—or even for a group of a dozen friends—he ended up being his friend. Circumstances, as always, played a role. How many of us can say about our closest friend, excluding those in our outer circle, that he is the one we would have picked, based on everything we appreciate in human nature and the values we stand by, while leaving out everything we dislike? The person is really someone we got to know simply because we spent a lot of time in close proximity, and was trusted and welcomed into our hearts, almost out of necessity.
“And what do you think of her?” Stephen ventured to say, after a silence.
“And what do you think of her?” Stephen dared to ask after a moment of silence.
“Taking her merits on trust from you,” said Knight, “as we do those of the Roman poets of whom we know nothing but that they lived, I still think she will not stick to you through, say, three years of absence in India.”
“Taking her merits on your word,” said Knight, “like we do with the Roman poets we know nothing about except that they existed, I still think she won't stay loyal to you during, say, three years of being in India.”
“But she will!” cried Stephen desperately. “She is a girl all delicacy and honour. And no woman of that kind, who has committed herself so into a man’s hands as she has into mine, could possibly marry another.”
“But she will!” cried Stephen desperately. “She’s a girl full of grace and integrity. And no woman like her, who has entrusted herself so completely to a man like me, could ever marry someone else.”
“How has she committed herself?” asked Knight cunously.
“How has she committed herself?” asked Knight curiously.
Stephen did not answer. Knight had looked on his love so sceptically that it would not do to say all that he had intended to say by any means.
Stephen didn’t reply. Knight had viewed his love with such skepticism that it would be inappropriate to say everything he had planned to say in any way.
“Well, don’t tell,” said Knight. “But you are begging the question, which is, I suppose, inevitable in love.”
“Well, don’t spill the beans,” said Knight. “But you are asking a loaded question, which I guess is unavoidable when it comes to love.”
“And I’ll tell you another thing,” the younger man pleaded. “You remember what you said to me once about women receiving a kiss. Don’t you? Why, that instead of our being charmed by the fascination of their bearing at such a time, we should immediately doubt them if their confusion has any GRACE in it—that awkward bungling was the true charm of the occasion, implying that we are the first who has played such a part with them.”
“And I’ll tell you something else,” the younger man insisted. “Do you remember what you told me once about women getting a kiss? You said that instead of being enchanted by their allure in those moments, we should immediately question them if their embarrassment has any GRACE in it—that the real charm of the situation comes from their awkwardness, suggesting that we are the first to have played that role with them.”
“It is true, quite,” said Knight musingly.
“It’s definitely true,” Knight said thoughtfully.
It often happened that the disciple thus remembered the lessons of the master long after the master himself had forgotten them.
It often happened that the student remembered the teacher's lessons long after the teacher himself had forgotten them.
“Well, that was like her!” cried Stephen triumphantly. “She was in such a flurry that she didn’t know what she was doing.”
“Well, that was so like her!” cried Stephen triumphantly. “She was in such a panic that she didn’t know what she was doing.”
“Splendid, splendid!” said Knight soothingly. “So that all I have to say is, that if you see a good opening in Bombay there’s no reason why you should not go without troubling to draw fine distinctions as to reasons. No man fully realizes what opinions he acts upon, or what his actions mean.”
“Wonderful, wonderful!” said Knight calmly. “So all I have to say is, if you see a good opportunity in Bombay, there’s no reason you shouldn't go without worrying too much about the reasons. No one really understands the opinions they act on or what their actions truly mean.”
“Yes; I go to Bombay. I’ll write a note here, if you don’t mind.”
“Yes; I’m going to Bombay. I’ll write a note here, if that’s okay with you.”
“Sleep over it—it is the best plan—and write to-morrow. Meantime, go there to that window and sit down, and look at my Humanity Show. I am going to dine out this evening, and have to dress here out of my portmanteau. I bring up my things like this to save the trouble of going down to my place at Richmond and back again.”
“Sleep on it—that's the best plan—and write tomorrow. In the meantime, go to that window, sit down, and watch my Humanity Show. I'm going out to dinner tonight and need to get dressed from my suitcase. I bring my stuff up like this to avoid the hassle of traveling back and forth to my place in Richmond.”
Knight then went to the middle of the room and flung open his portmanteau, and Stephen drew near the window. The streak of sunlight had crept upward, edged away, and vanished; the zoophytes slept: a dusky gloom pervaded the room. And now another volume of light shone over the window.
Knight then walked to the center of the room and threw open his suitcase, while Stephen moved closer to the window. The beam of sunlight had risen, shifted away, and disappeared; the zoophytes were still: a dark gloom filled the room. And now another stream of light flooded over the window.
“There!” said Knight, “where is there in England a spectacle to equal that? I sit there and watch them every night before I go home. Softly open the sash.”
“There!” said Knight, “where in England can you find a sight that compares to that? I sit there and watch them every night before heading home. Gently open the window.”
Beneath them was an alley running up to the wall, and thence turning sideways and passing under an arch, so that Knight’s back window was immediately over the angle, and commanded a view of the alley lengthwise. Crowds—mostly of women—were surging, bustling, and pacing up and down. Gaslights glared from butchers’ stalls, illuminating the lumps of flesh to splotches of orange and vermilion, like the wild colouring of Turner’s later pictures, whilst the purl and babble of tongues of every pitch and mood was to this human wild-wood what the ripple of a brook is to the natural forest.
Beneath them was an alley leading up to the wall, then turning to the side and passing under an arch, so Knight’s back window was right above the corner, giving a view down the length of the alley. Crowds—mostly women—were surging, bustling, and walking back and forth. Gaslights blazed from the butchers’ stalls, highlighting the chunks of meat in shades of orange and red, resembling the vivid colors of Turner's later paintings, while the chatter and noise of voices of every tone and mood was to this bustling scene what the sound of a brook is to the natural forest.
Nearly ten minutes passed. Then Knight also came to the window.
Nearly ten minutes went by. Then Knight also approached the window.
“Well, now, I call a cab and vanish down the street in the direction of Berkeley Square,” he said, buttoning his waistcoat and kicking his morning suit into a corner. Stephen rose to leave.
“Well, now, I’ll call a cab and disappear down the street toward Berkeley Square,” he said, buttoning up his waistcoat and tossing his morning suit into a corner. Stephen got up to leave.
“What a heap of literature!” remarked the young man, taking a final longing survey round the room, as if to abide there for ever would be the great pleasure of his life, yet feeling that he had almost outstayed his welcome-while. His eyes rested upon an arm-chair piled full of newspapers, magazines, and bright new volumes in green and red.
“What a massive collection of books!” said the young man, taking one last lingering look around the room, as if staying there forever would be the greatest joy of his life, yet sensing that he had almost overstayed his welcome. His gaze fell on an armchair overflowing with newspapers, magazines, and shiny new books in green and red.
“Yes,” said Knight, also looking at them and breathing a sigh of weariness; “something must be done with several of them soon, I suppose. Stephen, you needn’t hurry away for a few minutes, you know, if you want to stay; I am not quite ready. Overhaul those volumes whilst I put on my coat, and I’ll walk a little way with you.”
“Yes,” said Knight, also looking at them and letting out a weary sigh; “we need to do something about several of them soon, I guess. Stephen, you don’t have to rush off right away if you want to stick around; I’m not quite ready. Go through those volumes while I put on my coat, and I’ll walk with you for a bit.”
Stephen sat down beside the arm-chair and began to tumble the books about. Among the rest he found a novelette in one volume, THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE. By Ernest Field.
Stephen sat down next to the armchair and started to shuffle through the books. Among the others, he found a novella in one volume, THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE. By Ernest Field.
“Are you going to review this?” inquired Stephen with apparent unconcern, and holding up Elfride’s effusion.
“Are you going to review this?” Stephen asked casually, holding up Elfride’s writing.
“Which? Oh, that! I may—though I don’t do much light reviewing now. But it is reviewable.”
“Which? Oh, that! I might—though I don’t do much light reviewing these days. But it is reviewable.”
“How do you mean?”
"What do you mean?"
Knight never liked to be asked what he meant. “Mean! I mean that the majority of books published are neither good enough nor bad enough to provoke criticism, and that that book does provoke it.”
Knight never liked being asked what he meant. “Mean! I mean that most books published are neither good enough nor bad enough to spark criticism, and that this book does provoke it.”
“By its goodness or its badness?” Stephen said with some anxiety on poor little Elfride’s score.
“By its goodness or its badness?” Stephen said, feeling a bit anxious about poor little Elfride’s situation.
“Its badness. It seems to be written by some girl in her teens.”
“Its awfulness. It seems to be written by some teenage girl.”
Stephen said not another word. He did not care to speak plainly of Elfride after that unfortunate slip his tongue had made in respect of her having committed herself; and, apart from that, Knight’s severe—almost dogged and self-willed—honesty in criticizing was unassailable by the humble wish of a youthful friend like Stephen.
Stephen didn’t say anything more. He didn’t want to talk openly about Elfride after that awkward slip of the tongue regarding her commitment; besides, Knight’s strict—almost stubborn and headstrong—honesty in critiquing was beyond the reach of a modest desire from a young friend like Stephen.
Knight was now ready. Turning off the gas, and slamming together the door, they went downstairs and into the street.
Knight was ready now. They turned off the gas and slammed the door shut before heading downstairs and out into the street.
Chapter XIV
“We frolic while ’tis May.”
"We play while it's May."
It has now to be realized that nearly three-quarters of a year have passed away. In place of the autumnal scenery which formed a setting to the previous enactments, we have the culminating blooms of summer in the year following.
It should be understood that almost three-quarters of a year have gone by. Instead of the autumn scenery that was the backdrop for the previous events, we now have the peak blooms of summer in the following year.
Stephen is in India, slaving away at an office in Bombay; occasionally going up the country on professional errands, and wondering why people who had been there longer than he complained so much of the effect of the climate upon their constitutions. Never had a young man a finer start than seemed now to present itself to Stephen. It was just in that exceptional heyday of prosperity which shone over Bombay some few years ago, that he arrived on the scene. Building and engineering partook of the general impetus. Speculation moved with an accelerated velocity every successive day, the only disagreeable contingency connected with it being the possibility of a collapse.
Stephen is in India, working hard at an office in Bombay, occasionally traveling upcountry for work, and wondering why people who had been there longer than him complained so much about the climate affecting their health. Never had a young man had a better opportunity than the one now in front of Stephen. He arrived during that exceptional period of prosperity that transformed Bombay a few years ago. Both construction and engineering were booming. Speculation increased at a faster pace every day, with the only downside being the potential for a sudden downturn.
Elfride had never told her father of the four-and-twenty-hours’ escapade with Stephen, nor had it, to her knowledge, come to his ears by any other route. It was a secret trouble and grief to the girl for a short time, and Stephen’s departure was another ingredient in her sorrow. But Elfride possessed special facilities for getting rid of trouble after a decent interval. Whilst a slow nature was imbibing a misfortune little by little, she had swallowed the whole agony of it at a draught and was brightening again. She could slough off a sadness and replace it by a hope as easily as a lizard renews a diseased limb.
Elfride had never mentioned the twenty-four-hour adventure with Stephen to her father, nor had she heard it come to his attention through any other means. It was a troubling secret for her for a little while, and Stephen's leaving added to her sadness. However, Elfride had a unique ability to shake off her troubles after a reasonable time. While someone with a slower temperament would gradually process a misfortune, she had dealt with the pain all at once and was starting to feel better. She could easily shed a sadness and replace it with hope, just like a lizard can regrow a lost limb.
And two such excellent distractions had presented themselves. One was bringing out the romance and looking for notices in the papers, which, though they had been significantly short so far, had served to divert her thoughts. The other was migrating from the vicarage to the more commodious old house of Mrs. Swancourt’s, overlooking the same valley. Mr. Swancourt at first disliked the idea of being transplanted to feminine soil, but the obvious advantages of such an accession of dignity reconciled him to the change. So there was a radical “move;” the two ladies staying at Torquay as had been arranged, the vicar going to and fro.
And two great distractions had come up. One was diving into the romance and looking for mentions in the newspapers, which, although they had been pretty brief so far, helped take her mind off things. The other was moving from the vicarage to Mrs. Swancourt’s larger old house, which overlooked the same valley. Mr. Swancourt initially wasn’t keen on the idea of being moved to a more feminine environment, but the clear benefits of this new level of respect made him accept the change. So there was a major “move;” the two ladies stayed at Torquay as planned, while the vicar went back and forth.
Mrs. Swancourt considerably enlarged Elfride’s ideas in an aristocratic direction, and she began to forgive her father for his politic marriage. Certainly, in a worldly sense, a handsome face at three-and-forty had never served a man in better stead.
Mrs. Swancourt greatly expanded Elfride’s perspective in an upscale direction, and she started to forgive her father for his strategic marriage. Clearly, in a worldly sense, a good-looking face at forty-three had never helped a man more.
The new house at Kensington was ready, and they were all in town.
The new house in Kensington was ready, and they were all in the city.
The Hyde Park shrubs had been transplanted as usual, the chairs ranked in line, the grass edgings trimmed, the roads made to look as if they were suffering from a heavy thunderstorm; carriages had been called for by the easeful, horses by the brisk, and the Drive and Row were again the groove of gaiety for an hour. We gaze upon the spectacle, at six o’clock on this midsummer afternoon, in a melon-frame atmosphere and beneath a violet sky. The Swancourt equipage formed one in the stream.
The Hyde Park shrubs had been moved as usual, the chairs lined up, the grass edges trimmed, and the roads made to look like they had just weathered a heavy thunderstorm; carriages had been called for by the relaxed, horses by the energetic, and the Drive and Row were once again the center of fun for an hour. We are watching the scene at six o’clock on this midsummer afternoon, in a warm atmosphere and under a violet sky. The Swancourt carriage was part of the crowd.
Mrs. Swancourt was a talker of talk of the incisive kind, which her low musical voice—the only beautiful point in the old woman—prevented from being wearisome.
Mrs. Swancourt was the kind of person who talked in a sharp, engaging way, and her soft, melodic voice—the only charming quality of the old woman—kept her words from becoming tiring.
“Now,” she said to Elfride, who, like AEneas at Carthage, was full of admiration for the brilliant scene, “you will find that our companionless state will give us, as it does everybody, an extraordinary power in reading the features of our fellow-creatures here. I always am a listener in such places as these—not to the narratives told by my neighbours’ tongues, but by their faces—the advantage of which is, that whether I am in Row, Boulevard, Rialto, or Prado, they all speak the same language. I may have acquired some skill in this practice through having been an ugly lonely woman for so many years, with nobody to give me information; a thing you will not consider strange when the parallel case is borne in mind,—how truly people who have no clocks will tell the time of day.”
“Now,” she said to Elfride, who, like Aeneas in Carthage, was amazed by the stunning scene, “you’ll find that our solitude gives us, just like everyone else, an incredible ability to read the expressions of the people around us here. I always listen in places like this—not to the stories told by my neighbors’ voices, but by their faces—the advantage of which is that whether I’m in Row, Boulevard, Rialto, or Prado, they all speak the same language. I may have picked up some skill in this from being an unattractive, lonely woman for so many years, with no one to share information with; something you won’t find odd when you think about the similar case—how accurately people without clocks can tell the time of day.”
“Ay, that they will,” said Mr. Swancourt corroboratively. “I have known labouring men at Endelstow and other farms who had framed complete systems of observation for that purpose. By means of shadows, winds, clouds, the movements of sheep and oxen, the singing of birds, the crowing of cocks, and a hundred other sights and sounds which people with watches in their pockets never know the existence of, they are able to pronounce within ten minutes of the hour almost at any required instant. That reminds me of an old story which I’m afraid is too bad—too bad to repeat.” Here the vicar shook his head and laughed inwardly.
“Yeah, they really will,” Mr. Swancourt agreed. “I’ve known laborers at Endelstow and other farms who had entire systems worked out for that. Using shadows, winds, clouds, the way sheep and cows move, the songs of birds, the crowing of roosters, and a hundred other sights and sounds that people with watches in their pockets don’t even realize exist, they can tell the time to within ten minutes almost whenever they want. That reminds me of an old story that I’m afraid is too risqué—too inappropriate to share.” At this, the vicar shook his head and chuckled to himself.
“Tell it—do!” said the ladies.
"Go ahead—do it!" said the ladies.
“I mustn’t quite tell it.”
“I shouldn’t really say that.”
“That’s absurd,” said Mrs. Swancourt.
"That's ridiculous," said Mrs. Swancourt.
“It was only about a man who, by the same careful system of observation, was known to deceive persons for more than two years into the belief that he kept a barometer by stealth, so exactly did he foretell all changes in the weather by the braying of his ass and the temper of his wife.”
“It was just about a man who, through his careful way of observing things, managed to trick people for over two years into thinking he secretly had a barometer. He could predict all the weather changes accurately by listening to the braying of his donkey and the mood of his wife.”
Elfride laughed.
Elfride chuckled.
“Exactly,” said Mrs. Swancourt. “And in just the way that those learnt the signs of nature, I have learnt the language of her illegitimate sister—artificiality; and the fibbing of eyes, the contempt of nose-tips, the indignation of back hair, the laughter of clothes, the cynicism of footsteps, and the various emotions lying in walking-stick twirls, hat-liftings, the elevation of parasols, the carriage of umbrellas, become as A B C to me.
“Exactly,” said Mrs. Swancourt. “And just like those who learned the signs of nature, I’ve learned the language of her illegitimate sister—artificiality; the deceit in eyes, the disdain in nose-tips, the outrage in back hair, the laughter in clothes, the cynicism in footsteps, and the various emotions expressed through walking-stick twirls, hat lifts, the way parasols are held, the way umbrellas are carried, all become as easy as A B C to me.
“Just look at that daughter’s sister class of mamma in the carriage across there,” she continued to Elfride, pointing with merely a turn of her eye. “The absorbing self-consciousness of her position that is shown by her countenance is most humiliating to a lover of one’s country. You would hardly believe, would you, that members of a Fashionable World, whose professed zero is far above the highest degree of the humble, could be so ignorant of the elementary instincts of reticence.”
“Just look at that girl’s sister in the carriage over there,” she said to Elfride, just glancing with her eyes. “The intense self-awareness displayed on her face is really embarrassing for someone who loves their country. You wouldn’t believe, would you, that people in Fashionable Society, who claim to be above the rest, could be so unaware of the basic instincts of modesty?”
“How?”
"How?"
“Why, to bear on their faces, as plainly as on a phylactery, the inscription, ‘Do, pray, look at the coronet on my panels.’”
“Why, to display on their faces, as clearly as on a phylactery, the inscription, ‘Please, check out the crown on my panels.’”
“Really, Charlotte,” said the vicar, “you see as much in faces as Mr. Puff saw in Lord Burleigh’s nod.”
“Honestly, Charlotte,” said the vicar, “you read faces as well as Mr. Puff did Lord Burleigh’s nod.”
Elfride could not but admire the beauty of her fellow countrywomen, especially since herself and her own few acquaintances had always been slightly sunburnt or marked on the back of the hands by a bramble-scratch at this time of the year.
Elfride couldn't help but admire the beauty of her fellow countrywomen, especially since she and her few friends had always been a bit sunburned or had scratches on the backs of their hands from brambles at this time of year.
“And what lovely flowers and leaves they wear in their bonnets!” she exclaimed.
“And what beautiful flowers and leaves they have in their hats!” she exclaimed.
“Oh yes,” returned Mrs. Swancourt. “Some of them are even more striking in colour than any real ones. Look at that beautiful rose worn by the lady inside the rails. Elegant vine-tendrils introduced upon the stem as an improvement upon prickles, and all growing so naturally just over her ear—I say growing advisedly, for the pink of the petals and the pink of her handsome cheeks are equally from Nature’s hand to the eyes of the most casual observer.”
“Oh yes,” replied Mrs. Swancourt. “Some of them are even more vibrant than real ones. Look at that beautiful rose worn by the lady inside the railing. Elegant vine-like tendrils added to the stem instead of thorns, and all growing so naturally just over her ear—I say growing intentionally, because the pink of the petals and the pink of her lovely cheeks both come from Nature’s hand to the eyes of the most casual observer.”
“But praise them a little, they do deserve it!” said generous Elfride.
“Just give them a little praise, they really deserve it!” said generous Elfride.
“Well, I do. See how the Duchess of——waves to and fro in her seat, utilizing the sway of her landau by looking around only when her head is swung forward, with a passive pride which forbids a resistance to the force of circumstance. Look at the pretty pout on the mouths of that family there, retaining no traces of being arranged beforehand, so well is it done. Look at the demure close of the little fists holding the parasols; the tiny alert thumb, sticking up erect against the ivory stem as knowing as can be, the satin of the parasol invariably matching the complexion of the face beneath it, yet seemingly by an accident, which makes the thing so attractive. There’s the red book lying on the opposite seat, bespeaking the vast numbers of their acquaintance. And I particularly admire the aspect of that abundantly daughtered woman on the other side—I mean her look of unconsciousness that the girls are stared at by the walkers, and above all the look of the girls themselves—losing their gaze in the depths of handsome men’s eyes without appearing to notice whether they are observing masculine eyes or the leaves of the trees. There’s praise for you. But I am only jesting, child—you know that.”
“Well, I do. Look how the Duchess of——rocks back and forth in her seat, using the motion of her landau, only glancing around when her head swings forward, with a passive pride that doesn’t allow any pushback against what’s happening around her. Check out the cute pout on that family’s faces, so natural it doesn’t seem staged at all. Look at the way their little fists hold the parasols; the tiny, alert thumb sticking straight up against the ivory handle as if it knows exactly what it’s doing, with the satin of the parasol perfectly matching the skin tone underneath, yet it seems completely accidental, which makes it so appealing. There’s the red book lying on the opposite seat, hinting at the many people they know. And I especially admire that woman over there with her many daughters—I mean her obliviousness to the fact that the girls are being checked out by passersby, and especially how the girls themselves lose their gaze in the depths of handsome men’s eyes without seeming to care if they’re looking at the guys or the leaves of the trees. There’s a compliment for you. But I’m just teasing, dear—you know that.”
“Piph-ph-ph—how warm it is, to be sure!” said Mr. Swancourt, as if his mind were a long distance from all he saw. “I declare that my watch is so hot that I can scarcely bear to touch it to see what the time is, and all the world smells like the inside of a hat.”
“Wow, it’s definitely warm!” said Mr. Swancourt, as if he were miles away from everything around him. “I swear my watch is so hot I can hardly touch it to check the time, and everything smells like the inside of a hat.”
“How the men stare at you, Elfride!” said the elder lady. “You will kill me quite, I am afraid.”
“How the men look at you, Elfride!” said the older woman. “I’m worried you’ll totally make me lose my mind.”
“Kill you?”
"Are you serious?"
“As a diamond kills an opal in the same setting.”
“As a diamond outshines an opal in the same setting.”
“I have noticed several ladies and gentlemen looking at me,” said Elfride artlessly, showing her pleasure at being observed.
“I’ve seen a few guys and girls looking at me,” Elfride said casually, clearly enjoying the attention.
“My dear, you mustn’t say ‘gentlemen’ nowadays,” her stepmother answered in the tones of arch concern that so well became her ugliness. “We have handed over ‘gentlemen’ to the lower middle class, where the word is still to be heard at tradesmen’s balls and provincial tea-parties, I believe. It is done with here.”
“My dear, you can’t say ‘gentlemen’ these days,” her stepmother replied with a feigned concern that suited her unattractiveness perfectly. “We’ve given ‘gentlemen’ to the lower middle class, where I think you can still hear it at shopkeepers’ dances and local tea parties. It’s over for us.”
“What must I say, then?”
“What should I say, then?”
“‘Ladies and MEN’ always.”
“‘Ladies and GENTLEMEN’ always.”
At this moment appeared in the stream of vehicles moving in the contrary direction a chariot presenting in its general surface the rich indigo hue of a midnight sky, the wheels and margins being picked out in delicate lines of ultramarine; the servants’ liveries were dark-blue coats and silver lace, and breeches of neutral Indian red. The whole concern formed an organic whole, and moved along behind a pair of dark chestnut geldings, who advanced in an indifferently zealous trot, very daintily performed, and occasionally shrugged divers points of their veiny surface as if they were rather above the business.
At that moment, a chariot came into view in the flow of vehicles going the other way, showcasing a rich indigo color reminiscent of a midnight sky. The wheels and edges were highlighted with fine ultramarine lines. The servants wore dark blue coats with silver lace and neutral Indian red breeches. The entire setup looked harmonious and was pulled along by a pair of dark chestnut geldings, who trotted along in a casually enthusiastic manner, their veins occasionally shuddering as if they thought they were too good for the job.
In this sat a gentleman with no decided characteristics more than that he somewhat resembled a good-natured commercial traveller of the superior class. Beside him was a lady with skim-milky eyes and complexion, belonging to the ‘interesting’ class of women, where that class merges in the sickly, her greatest pleasure being apparently to enjoy nothing. Opposite this pair sat two little girls in white hats and blue feathers.
In this sat a gentleman who didn't have any standout traits other than the fact that he looked a bit like a friendly high-class salesman. Next to him was a lady with pale, milky eyes and complexion, fitting into the ‘interesting’ category of women that overlaps with the frail; her main pleasure seemed to be in enjoying absolutely nothing. Across from this pair were two little girls in white hats with blue feathers.
The lady saw Elfride, smiled and bowed, and touched her husband’s elbow, who turned and received Elfride’s movement of recognition with a gallant elevation of his hat. Then the two children held up their arms to Elfride, and laughed gleefully.
The lady saw Elfride, smiled and nodded, and touched her husband’s elbow, who turned and acknowledged Elfride with a gallant tipping of his hat. Then the two kids raised their arms to Elfride and laughed happily.
“Who is that?”
"Who's that?"
“Why, Lord Luxellian, isn’t it?” said Mrs. Swancourt, who with the vicar had been seated with her back towards them.
“Why, Lord Luxellian, isn’t it?” said Mrs. Swancourt, who had been sitting with her back to them alongside the vicar.
“Yes,” replied Elfride. “He is the one man of those I have seen here whom I consider handsomer than papa.”
“Yes,” replied Elfride. “He’s the only guy I’ve seen here who I think is more handsome than Dad.”
“Thank you, dear,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“Thanks, dear,” Mr. Swancourt said.
“Yes; but your father is so much older. When Lord Luxellian gets a little further on in life, he won’t be half so good-looking as our man.”
“Yes; but your dad is so much older. When Lord Luxellian gets a bit further in life, he won’t be anywhere near as good-looking as our guy.”
“Thank you, dear, likewise,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“Thank you, dear, same to you,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“See,” exclaimed Elfride, still looking towards them, “how those little dears want me! Actually one of them is crying for me to come.”
“Look,” Elfride said, still gazing at them, “how those little cuties want me! One of them is actually crying for me to come.”
“We were talking of bracelets just now. Look at Lady Luxellian’s,” said Mrs. Swancourt, as that baroness lifted up her arm to support one of the children. “It is slipping up her arm—too large by half. I hate to see daylight between a bracelet and a wrist; I wonder women haven’t better taste.”
“We were just talking about bracelets. Check out Lady Luxellian’s,” said Mrs. Swancourt, as the baroness raised her arm to hold one of the children. “It’s sliding up her arm—way too big. I can’t stand seeing a gap between a bracelet and a wrist; I wonder why women don’t have better taste.”
“It is not on that account, indeed,” Elfride expostulated. “It is that her arm has got thin, poor thing. You cannot think how much she has altered in this last twelvemonth.”
“It’s not because of that, really,” Elfride protested. “It’s that her arm has gotten thin, poor thing. You wouldn’t believe how much she’s changed in the last year.”
The carriages were now nearer together, and there was an exchange of more familiar greetings between the two families. Then the Luxellians crossed over and drew up under the plane-trees, just in the rear of the Swancourts. Lord Luxellian alighted, and came forward with a musical laugh.
The carriages were now closer to each other, and the two families exchanged more familiar greetings. Then the Luxellians moved over and parked under the plane trees, just behind the Swancourts. Lord Luxellian got out and walked up with a cheerful laugh.
It was his attraction as a man. People liked him for those tones, and forgot that he had no talents. Acquaintances remembered Mr. Swancourt by his manner; they remembered Stephen Smith by his face, Lord Luxellian by his laugh.
It was his appeal as a man. People were drawn to him for those traits and overlooked the fact that he had no real skills. Friends recalled Mr. Swancourt for his demeanor; they remembered Stephen Smith for his looks, and Lord Luxellian for his laughter.
Mr. Swancourt made some friendly remarks—among others things upon the heat.
Mr. Swancourt made some friendly comments, including remarks about the heat.
“Yes,” said Lord Luxellian, “we were driving by a furrier’s window this afternoon, and the sight filled us all with such a sense of suffocation that we were glad to get away. Ha-ha!” He turned to Elfride. “Miss Swancourt, I have hardly seen or spoken to you since your literary feat was made public. I had no idea a chiel was taking notes down at quiet Endelstow, or I should certainly have put myself and friends upon our best behaviour. Swancourt, why didn’t you give me a hint!”
“Yes,” said Lord Luxellian, “we were passing by a fur store this afternoon, and just seeing it made us all feel so overwhelmed that we were relieved to leave. Ha-ha!” He turned to Elfride. “Miss Swancourt, I’ve hardly seen or talked to you since your writing achievement was announced. I had no clue someone was taking notes down at quiet Endelstow, or I definitely would have made sure my friends and I acted appropriately. Swancourt, why didn’t you give me a heads-up!”
Elfride fluttered, blushed, laughed, said it was nothing to speak of, &c. &c.
Elfride fluttered, blushed, laughed, and said it was nothing to worry about, etc. etc.
“Well, I think you were rather unfairly treated by the PRESENT, I certainly do. Writing a heavy review like that upon an elegant trifle like the COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE was absurd.”
“Well, I think you were treated unfairly by the PRESENT, I really do. Writing a harsh review like that on a light piece like the COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE was just ridiculous.”
“What?” said Elfride, opening her eyes. “Was I reviewed in the PRESENT?”
"What?" Elfride said, opening her eyes. "Was I featured in the PRESENT?"
“Oh yes; didn’t you see it? Why, it was four or five months ago!”
“Oh yes; didn’t you see it? It was like four or five months ago!”
“No, I never saw it. How sorry I am! What a shame of my publishers! They promised to send me every notice that appeared.”
“No, I never saw it. I’m so sorry! What a shame on my publishers! They promised to send me every notice that came out.”
“Ah, then, I am almost afraid I have been giving you disagreeable information, intentionally withheld out of courtesy. Depend upon it they thought no good would come of sending it, and so would not pain you unnecessarily.”
“Ah, then, I’m almost afraid I’ve been giving you unpleasant information, intentionally kept back out of politeness. Trust me, they believed that sending it would do no good, and so they didn’t want to upset you unnecessarily.”
“Oh no; I am indeed glad you have told me, Lord Luxellian. It is quite a mistaken kindness on their part. Is the review so much against me?” she inquired tremulously.
“Oh no; I’m really glad you told me, Lord Luxellian. It’s definitely a misguided kindness on their part. Is the review really that negative about me?” she asked nervously.
“No, no; not that exactly—though I almost forget its exact purport now. It was merely—merely sharp, you know—ungenerous, I might say. But really my memory does not enable me to speak decidedly.”
“No, no; not that exactly—though I almost forgot what it really meant now. It was just—just harsh, you know—ungenerous, I might say. But honestly, my memory doesn’t let me speak with certainty.”
“We’ll drive to the PRESENT office, and get one directly; shall we, papa?”
“We’ll drive to the office now and get one right away; okay, Dad?”
“If you are so anxious, dear, we will, or send. But to-morrow will do.”
“If you’re so anxious, dear, we will, or I’ll send. But tomorrow will work.”
“And do oblige me in a little matter now, Elfride,” said Lord Luxellian warmly, and looking as if he were sorry he had brought news that disturbed her. “I am in reality sent here as a special messenger by my little Polly and Katie to ask you to come into our carriage with them for a short time. I am just going to walk across into Piccadilly, and my wife is left alone with them. I am afraid they are rather spoilt children; but I have half promised them you shall come.”
“And please do me a favor, Elfride,” said Lord Luxellian warmly, looking as if he regretted bringing upsetting news. “I’m actually here as a special messenger from my little Polly and Katie, asking you to join them in our carriage for a little while. I’m just about to walk over to Piccadilly, and my wife is left alone with them. I’m afraid they’re a bit spoiled, but I’ve kind of promised them you would come.”
The steps were let down, and Elfride was transferred—to the intense delight of the little girls, and to the mild interest of loungers with red skins and long necks, who cursorily eyed the performance with their walking-sticks to their lips, occasionally laughing from far down their throats and with their eyes, their mouths not being concerned in the operation at all. Lord Luxellian then told the coachman to drive on, lifted his hat, smiled a smile that missed its mark and alighted on a total stranger, who bowed in bewilderment. Lord Luxellian looked long at Elfride.
The steps were lowered, and Elfride was helped down—much to the delight of the little girls, and to the mild interest of the bystanders with sunburned skin and long necks, who briefly watched the scene with their walking sticks to their lips, occasionally laughing deep in their throats and with their eyes, while their mouths remained completely unfazed. Lord Luxellian then instructed the driver to move on, tipped his hat, and gave a smile that didn't quite land, landing instead on a complete stranger, who bowed in confusion. Lord Luxellian studied Elfride for a long moment.
The look was a manly, open, and genuine look of admiration; a momentary tribute of a kind which any honest Englishman might have paid to fairness without being ashamed of the feeling, or permitting it to encroach in the slightest degree upon his emotional obligations as a husband and head of a family. Then Lord Luxellian turned away, and walked musingly to the upper end of the promenade.
The look was a strong, sincere, and genuine expression of admiration; a fleeting tribute that any honest Englishman might have shown to beauty without feeling ashamed or letting it interfere even a little with his responsibilities as a husband and head of a family. Then Lord Luxellian turned away and walked thoughtfully to the upper end of the promenade.
Mr. Swancourt had alighted at the same time with Elfride, crossing over to the Row for a few minutes to speak to a friend he recognized there; and his wife was thus left sole tenant of the carriage.
Mr. Swancourt got off at the same time as Elfride, crossing over to the Row for a few minutes to talk to a friend he recognized there; and his wife was left as the only occupant of the carriage.
Now, whilst this little act had been in course of performance, there stood among the promenading spectators a man of somewhat different description from the rest. Behind the general throng, in the rear of the chairs, and leaning against the trunk of a tree, he looked at Elfride with quiet and critical interest.
Now, while this little act was happening, there was a man among the crowd of spectators who stood out from the rest. Behind the main group, in the back of the chairs, and leaning against the trunk of a tree, he watched Elfride with calm and critical interest.
Three points about this unobtrusive person showed promptly to the exercised eye that he was not a Row man pur sang. First, an irrepressible wrinkle or two in the waist of his frock-coat—denoting that he had not damned his tailor sufficiently to drive that tradesman up to the orthodox high pressure of cunning workmanship. Second, a slight slovenliness of umbrella, occasioned by its owner’s habit of resting heavily upon it, and using it as a veritable walking-stick, instead of letting its point touch the ground in the most coquettish of kisses, as is the proper Row manner to do. Third, and chief reason, that try how you might, you could scarcely help supposing, on looking at his face, that your eyes were not far from a well-finished mind, instead of the well-finished skin et praeterea nihil, which is by rights the Mark of the Row.
Three things about this unassuming person quickly revealed to a discerning observer that he wasn't a true Row man. First, a couple of noticeable wrinkles in the waist of his frock coat suggested that he hadn’t criticized his tailor enough to push that craftsman to deliver the usual high-quality workmanship. Second, his umbrella showed a slight disarray, a result of his habit of leaning heavily on it and using it as a walking stick, rather than letting its tip gently touch the ground in the most stylish way, as is typical for a Row man. Third, and most importantly, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't help but think that when you looked at his face, you were not far from a well-developed mind, instead of just a well-groomed appearance and nothing more, which is what you would normally expect from a Row man.
The probability is that, had not Mrs. Swancourt been left alone in her carriage under the tree, this man would have remained in his unobserved seclusion. But seeing her thus, he came round to the front, stooped under the rail, and stood beside the carriage-door.
The likelihood is that if Mrs. Swancourt hadn't been left alone in her carriage under the tree, this man would have stayed hidden and unnoticed. But seeing her like that, he walked around to the front, bent down under the rail, and stood next to the carriage door.
Mrs. Swancourt looked reflectively at him for a quarter of a minute, then held out her hand laughingly:
Mrs. Swancourt looked at him thoughtfully for about fifteen seconds, then playfully extended her hand:
“Why, Henry Knight—of course it is! My—second—third—fourth cousin—what shall I say? At any rate, my kinsman.”
“Why, Henry Knight—of course it is! My—second—third—fourth cousin—what should I say? Either way, he’s my relative.”
“Yes, one of a remnant not yet cut off. I scarcely was certain of you, either, from where I was standing.”
“Yes, I'm one of the few who hasn't been cut off yet. I wasn't really sure about you either, from where I was standing.”
“I have not seen you since you first went to Oxford; consider the number of years! You know, I suppose, of my marriage?”
“I haven’t seen you since you first went to Oxford; think about how many years it’s been! I suppose you’ve heard about my marriage?”
And there sprang up a dialogue concerning family matters of birth, death, and marriage, which it is not necessary to detail. Knight presently inquired:
And a conversation started about family issues like birth, death, and marriage, which doesn’t need to be explained. The Knight then asked:
“The young lady who changed into the other carriage is, then, your stepdaughter?”
“The young woman who got into the other carriage is, then, your stepdaughter?”
“Yes, Elfride. You must know her.”
“Yes, Elfride. You have to know her.”
“And who was the lady in the carriage Elfride entered; who had an ill-defined and watery look, as if she were only the reflection of herself in a pool?”
“And who was the woman in the carriage that Elfride got into; who had an unclear and watery appearance, as if she were just a reflection of herself in a puddle?”
“Lady Luxellian; very weakly, Elfride says. My husband is remotely connected with them; but there is not much intimacy on account of——. However, Henry, you’ll come and see us, of course. 24 Chevron Square. Come this week. We shall only be in town a week or two longer.”
“Lady Luxellian; very weakly, Elfride says. My husband is distantly related to them, but there isn’t much closeness because of——. Anyway, Henry, you’ll come and see us, right? 24 Chevron Square. Come this week. We’ll only be in town for another week or two.”
“Let me see. I’ve got to run up to Oxford to-morrow, where I shall be for several days; so that I must, I fear, lose the pleasure of seeing you in London this year.”
“Let me think. I have to go up to Oxford tomorrow, where I’ll be for several days; so, unfortunately, I’ll have to miss the pleasure of seeing you in London this year.”
“Then come to Endelstow; why not return with us?”
“Then come to Endelstow; why not come back with us?”
“I am afraid if I were to come before August I should have to leave again in a day or two. I should be delighted to be with you at the beginning of that month; and I could stay a nice long time. I have thought of going westward all the summer.”
“I’m worried that if I come before August, I’ll have to leave again in a day or two. I’d be thrilled to be with you at the beginning of that month, and I could stay for a nice long time. I’ve been thinking about going west all summer.”
“Very well. Now remember that’s a compact. And won’t you wait now and see Mr. Swancourt? He will not be away ten minutes longer.”
“Alright. Just remember that's a deal. And why don't you wait here and see Mr. Swancourt? He won't be gone for more than ten minutes.”
“No; I’ll beg to be excused; for I must get to my chambers again this evening before I go home; indeed, I ought to have been there now—I have such a press of matters to attend to just at present. You will explain to him, please. Good-bye.”
“No; I’ll ask to be excused; I have to get back to my office this evening before I go home; in fact, I should have been there by now—I have so much to deal with right now. Please explain that to him. Goodbye.”
“And let us know the day of your appearance as soon as you can.”
“And let us know the day you’ll be here as soon as you can.”
“I will”
"I'm going to"
Chapter XV
“A wandering voice.”
“A wandering voice.”
Though sheer and intelligible griefs are not charmed away by being confided to mere acquaintances, the process is a palliative to certain ill-humours. Among these, perplexed vexation is one—a species of trouble which, like a stream, gets shallower by the simple operation of widening it in any quarter.
Though pure and understandable grief isn’t magically removed just by sharing it with acquaintances, talking about it helps ease some bad moods. One of these moods is confused annoyance—a kind of trouble that, like a stream, becomes less intense when you simply broaden the discussion in any direction.
On the evening of the day succeeding that of the meeting in the Park, Elfride and Mrs. Swancourt were engaged in conversation in the dressing-room of the latter. Such a treatment of such a case was in course of adoption here.
On the evening after the meeting in the Park, Elfride and Mrs. Swancourt were chatting in Mrs. Swancourt's dressing room. They were working through how to handle the situation.
Elfride had just before received an affectionate letter from Stephen Smith in Bombay, which had been forwarded to her from Endelstow. But since this is not the case referred to, it is not worth while to pry further into the contents of the letter than to discover that, with rash though pardonable confidence in coming times, he addressed her in high spirits as his darling future wife. Probably there cannot be instanced a briefer and surer rule-of-thumb test of a man’s temperament—sanguine or cautious—than this: did he or does he ante-date the word wife in corresponding with a sweet-heart he honestly loves?
Elfride had just received a heartfelt letter from Stephen Smith in Bombay, which had been forwarded to her from Endelstow. But since this isn't the case we're talking about, there's no need to delve too deeply into the letter's contents other than to note that, with a reckless yet forgivable optimism about the future, he cheerfully referred to her as his beloved future wife. There probably isn’t a quicker and more reliable way to gauge a man’s character—whether he's optimistic or cautious—than this: did he, or does he, use the word wife when writing to a sweetheart he truly loves?
She had taken this epistle into her own room, read a little of it, then SAVED the rest for to-morrow, not wishing to be so extravagant as to consume the pleasure all at once. Nevertheless, she could not resist the wish to enjoy yet a little more, so out came the letter again, and in spite of misgivings as to prodigality the whole was devoured. The letter was finally reperused and placed in her pocket.
She had taken this letter into her own room, read a little of it, then saved the rest for tomorrow, not wanting to be so extravagant as to enjoy it all at once. However, she couldn’t resist the urge to savor just a bit more, so she pulled the letter out again, and despite her worries about being excessive, she ended up reading it all. The letter was finally read again and then tucked into her pocket.
What was this? Also a newspaper for Elfride, which she had overlooked in her hurry to open the letter. It was the old number of the PRESENT, containing the article upon her book, forwarded as had been requested.
What was this? Also a newspaper for Elfride, which she had missed in her rush to open the letter. It was the old issue of the PRESENT, containing the article about her book, sent as requested.
Elfride had hastily read it through, shrunk perceptibly smaller, and had then gone with the paper in her hand to Mrs. Swancourt’s dressing-room, to lighten or at least modify her vexation by a discriminating estimate from her stepmother.
Elfride quickly read it, feeling noticeably smaller, and then she went with the paper in her hand to Mrs. Swancourt’s dressing room, hoping to ease or at least adjust her frustration with her stepmother's thoughtful opinion.
She was now looking disconsolately out of the window.
She was now looking sadly out of the window.
“Never mind, my child,” said Mrs. Swancourt after a careful perusal of the matter indicated. “I don’t see that the review is such a terrible one, after all. Besides, everybody has forgotten about it by this time. I’m sure the opening is good enough for any book ever written. Just listen—it sounds better read aloud than when you pore over it silently: ‘THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE. A ROMANCE OF THE MIDDLE AGES. BY ERNEST FIELD. In the belief that we were for a while escaping the monotonous repetition of wearisome details in modern social scenery, analyses of uninteresting character, or the unnatural unfoldings of a sensation plot, we took this volume into our hands with a feeling of pleasure. We were disposed to beguile ourselves with the fancy that some new change might possibly be rung upon donjon keeps, chain and plate armour, deeply scarred cheeks, tender maidens disguised as pages, to which we had not listened long ago.’ Now, that’s a very good beginning, in my opinion, and one to be proud of having brought out of a man who has never seen you.”
“Never mind, my child,” said Mrs. Swancourt after carefully looking over the matter. “I don’t think the review is that bad, after all. Besides, I’m sure everyone has forgotten about it by now. I believe the opening is good enough for any book ever written. Just listen—it sounds better when you read it out loud than when you read it silently: ‘THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE. A ROMANCE OF THE MIDDLE AGES. BY ERNEST FIELD. In the hope that we were escaping the dull repetition of tedious details in modern society, boring character analyses, or the artificial unfolding of a sensational plot, we picked up this book with a sense of pleasure. We were inclined to imagine that there might be some new twist on castle towers, chainmail and armor, rugged faces, tender maidens disguised as pages, that we hadn’t heard long ago.’ Now, that’s a really good beginning, in my opinion, and something to be proud of having come from a man who has never met you.”
“Ah, yes,” murmured Elfride wofully. “But, then, see further on!”
“Ah, yes,” Elfride said sadly. “But, look further ahead!”
“Well the next bit is rather unkind, I must own,” said Mrs. Swancourt, and read on. “‘Instead of this we found ourselves in the hands of some young lady, hardly arrived at years of discretion, to judge by the silly device it has been thought worth while to adopt on the title-page, with the idea of disguising her sex.’”
“Well, the next part is pretty harsh, I have to admit,” said Mrs. Swancourt, and continued reading. “‘Instead of this, we ended up with some young lady, who seems barely old enough to be making decisions, judging by the ridiculous design they thought was worth using on the title page to hide her gender.’”
“I am not ‘silly’!” said Elfride indignantly. “He might have called me anything but that.”
“I am not ‘silly’!” Elfride said indignantly. “He could have called me anything but that.”
“You are not, indeed. Well:—‘Hands of a young lady...whose chapters are simply devoted to impossible tournaments, towers, and escapades, which read like flat copies of like scenes in the stories of Mr. G. P. R. James, and the most unreal portions of IVANHOE. The bait is so palpably artificial that the most credulous gudgeon turns away.’ Now, my dear, I don’t see overmuch to complain of in that. It proves that you were clever enough to make him think of Sir Walter Scott, which is a great deal.”
“You're really not. Well:—‘The hands of a young lady...whose chapters are just about impossible tournaments, towers, and adventures, which feel like bland copies of similar scenes in the stories of Mr. G. P. R. James, and the most unrealistic parts of IVANHOE. The bait is so obviously fake that even the most gullible fish swims away.’ Now, my dear, I don't see much to complain about in that. It shows that you were smart enough to make him think of Sir Walter Scott, which is quite impressive.”
“Oh yes; though I cannot romance myself, I am able to remind him of those who can!” Elfride intended to hurl these words sarcastically at her invisible enemy, but as she had no more satirical power than a wood-pigeon, they merely fell in a pretty murmur from lips shaped to a pout.
“Oh yes; even though I can’t charm myself, I can remind him of those who can!” Elfride meant to throw these words sarcastically at her unseen opponent, but since she had no more biting wit than a wood-pigeon, they simply came out as a soft murmur from lips made for pouting.
“Certainly: and that’s something. Your book is good enough to be bad in an ordinary literary manner, and doesn’t stand by itself in a melancholy position altogether worse than assailable.—‘That interest in an historical romance may nowadays have any chance of being sustained, it is indispensable that the reader find himself under the guidance of some nearly extinct species of legendary, who, in addition to an impulse towards antiquarian research and an unweakened faith in the mediaeval halo, shall possess an inventive faculty in which delicacy of sentiment is far overtopped by a power of welding to stirring incident a spirited variety of the elementary human passions.’ Well, that long-winded effusion doesn’t refer to you at all, Elfride, merely something put in to fill up. Let me see, when does he come to you again;...not till the very end, actually. Here you are finally polished off:
“Absolutely: and that’s something. Your book is good enough to be mediocre in a typical literary way, and doesn’t exist in a totally sad spot that’s worse than open to criticism. —‘For interest in a historical romance to have any chance of lasting these days, it’s essential that the reader be guided by some nearly extinct type of legend, who, in addition to a drive for digging into the past and an unwavering belief in the medieval charm, should have a creative ability where sensitivity is far exceeded by a knack for connecting exciting events with a lively mix of basic human emotions.’ Well, that long-winded expression doesn’t refer to you at all, Elfride; it’s just filler. Let me see, when does he come to see you again;...not until the very end, actually. Here you are, finally wrapped up:
“‘But to return to the little work we have used as the text of this article. We are far from altogether disparaging the author’s powers. She has a certain versatility that enables her to use with effect a style of narration peculiar to herself, which may be called a murmuring of delicate emotional trifles, the particular gift of those to whom the social sympathies of a peaceful time are as daily food. Hence, where matters of domestic experience, and the natural touches which make people real, can be introduced without anachronisms too striking, she is occasionally felicitous; and upon the whole we feel justified in saying that the book will bear looking into for the sake of those portions which have nothing whatever to do with the story.’
“‘But let's get back to the little work we’ve used as the focus of this article. We definitely don’t want to completely undermine the author’s abilities. She has a unique versatility that allows her to effectively employ a style of narration that's distinctly hers, which could be described as a gentle whispering of subtle emotional details, a special talent of those for whom the social connections of a peaceful time are like daily nourishment. Therefore, when it comes to topics of everyday life and the natural details that make people feel real, she can be quite successful, as long as the anachronisms aren’t too jarring. Overall, we feel justified in saying that the book is worth checking out for the sections that have nothing to do with the story.’”
“Well, I suppose it is intended for satire; but don’t think anything more of it now, my dear. It is seven o’clock.” And Mrs. Swancourt rang for her maid.
“Well, I guess it’s meant to be satirical; but don’t give it any more thought now, my dear. It’s seven o’clock.” And Mrs. Swancourt called for her maid.
Attack is more piquant than concord. Stephen’s letter was concerning nothing but oneness with her: the review was the very reverse. And a stranger with neither name nor shape, age nor appearance, but a mighty voice, is naturally rather an interesting novelty to a lady he chooses to address. When Elfride fell asleep that night she was loving the writer of the letter, but thinking of the writer of that article.
Attack is more interesting than harmony. Stephen’s letter was all about being united with her; the review was the complete opposite. And a stranger with no name or form, age or looks, but a powerful voice, is naturally a pretty intriguing novelty for a woman he decides to speak to. When Elfride fell asleep that night, she was in love with the writer of the letter, but her mind was on the writer of that article.
Chapter XVI
“Then fancy shapes—as fancy can.”
“Then imaginative shapes—as imaginative can.”
On a day about three weeks later, the Swancourt trio were sitting quietly in the drawing-room of The Crags, Mrs. Swancourt’s house at Endelstow, chatting, and taking easeful survey of their previous month or two of town—a tangible weariness even to people whose acquaintances there might be counted on the fingers.
On a day about three weeks later, the Swancourt trio were sitting quietly in the drawing-room of The Crags, Mrs. Swancourt’s house at Endelstow, chatting and comfortably reflecting on their previous month or two in town—a real fatigue even for people whose friends there could be counted on one hand.
A mere season in London with her practised step-mother had so advanced Elfride’s perceptions, that her courtship by Stephen seemed emotionally meagre, and to have drifted back several years into a childish past. In regarding our mental experiences, as in visual observation, our own progress reads like a dwindling of that we progress from.
A short season in London with her savvy step-mother had really changed Elfride’s views, making her courtship with Stephen feel emotionally lacking and like it had slipped back several years into a childish past. When we look at our mental experiences, just like in how we see things, our own growth feels like a shrinking away from what we've moved on from.
She was seated on a low chair, looking over her romance with melancholy interest for the first time since she had become acquainted with the remarks of the PRESENT thereupon.
She was sitting in a low chair, gazing at her romance with a sad interest for the first time since she had learned about the comments on it.
“Still thinking of that reviewer, Elfie?”
“Still thinking about that reviewer, Elfie?”
“Not of him personally; but I am thinking of his opinion. Really, on looking into the volume after this long time has elapsed, he seems to have estimated one part of it fairly enough.”
“Not about him personally; but I’m considering his opinion. Honestly, after looking into the book again after all this time, he seems to have assessed one part of it quite accurately.”
“No, no; I wouldn’t show the white feather now! Fancy that of all people in the world the writer herself should go over to the enemy. How shall Monmouth’s men fight when Monmouth runs away?”
“No, no; I wouldn’t back down now! Can you believe that of all people in the world, the writer herself would switch sides? How can Monmouth's men fight when Monmouth is running away?”
“I don’t do that. But I think he is right in some of his arguments, though wrong in others. And because he has some claim to my respect I regret all the more that he should think so mistakenly of my motives in one or two instances. It is more vexing to be misunderstood than to be misrepresented; and he misunderstands me. I cannot be easy whilst a person goes to rest night after night attributing to me intentions I never had.”
“I don’t do that. But I think he’s right about some of his points, even if he’s wrong about others. And because I respect him to some extent, I regret even more that he mistakes my intentions in one or two cases. It’s more frustrating to be misunderstood than to be misrepresented; and he misunderstands me. I can’t be at ease knowing that someone goes to bed night after night thinking I have intentions I never had.”
“He doesn’t know your name, or anything about you. And he has doubtless forgotten there is such a book in existence by this time.”
“He doesn’t know your name or anything about you. And he has probably forgotten that such a book even exists by now.”
“I myself should certainly like him to be put right upon one or two matters,” said the vicar, who had hitherto been silent. “You see, critics go on writing, and are never corrected or argued with, and therefore are never improved.”
“I would definitely like him to be set straight on a few things,” said the vicar, who had been quiet until now. “You see, critics keep writing without being corrected or debated, so they never get better.”
“Papa,” said Elfride brightening, “write to him!”
“Dad,” Elfride said, her face lighting up, “write to him!”
“I would as soon write to him as look at him, for the matter of that,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“I’d just as soon write to him as look at him, for that matter,” said Mr. Swancourt.
“Do! And say, the young person who wrote the book did not adopt a masculine pseudonym in vanity or conceit, but because she was afraid it would be thought presumptuous to publish her name, and that she did not mean the story for such as he, but as a sweetener of history for young people, who might thereby acquire a taste for what went on in their own country hundreds of years ago, and be tempted to dive deeper into the subject. Oh, there is so much to explain; I wish I might write myself!”
“Do! And say, the young person who wrote the book didn’t use a male pen name out of vanity or pride, but because she feared it would seem arrogant to put her name on it. She intended the story not for adults, but to make history more appealing for young readers, who might then develop an interest in what happened in their own country hundreds of years ago and be encouraged to explore the topic further. Oh, there’s so much to explain; I wish I could write it myself!”
“Now, Elfie, I’ll tell you what we will do,” answered Mr. Swancourt, tickled with a sort of bucolic humour at the idea of criticizing the critic. “You shall write a clear account of what he is wrong in, and I will copy it and send it as mine.”
“Now, Elfie, let me tell you what we’ll do,” replied Mr. Swancourt, amused by the idea of critiquing the critic. “You’ll write a clear summary of where he’s wrong, and I’ll copy it and send it as my own.”
“Yes, now, directly!” said Elfride, jumping up. “When will you send it, papa?”
“Yes, right now!” said Elfride, jumping up. “When are you going to send it, Dad?”
“Oh, in a day or two, I suppose,” he returned. Then the vicar paused and slightly yawned, and in the manner of elderly people began to cool from his ardour for the undertaking now that it came to the point. “But, really, it is hardly worth while,” he said.
“Oh, in a day or two, I guess,” he replied. Then the vicar paused and let out a small yawn, and like older folks often do, he began to lose enthusiasm for the task now that it was time to get serious. “But honestly, it’s hardly worth it,” he said.
“O papa!” said Elfride, with much disappointment. “You said you would, and now you won’t. That is not fair!”
“O dad!” said Elfride, feeling really let down. “You said you would, and now you won’t. That’s not fair!”
“But how can we send it if we don’t know whom to send it to?”
“But how can we send it if we don’t know who to send it to?”
“If you really want to send such a thing it can easily be done,” said Mrs. Swancourt, coming to her step-daughter’s rescue. “An envelope addressed, ‘To the Critic of THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE, care of the Editor of the PRESENT,’ would find him.”
“If you really want to send something like that, it can be done easily,” said Mrs. Swancourt, coming to her stepdaughter’s aid. “An envelope addressed ‘To the Critic of THE COURT OF KELLYON CASTLE, care of the Editor of the PRESENT’ will reach him.”
“Yes, I suppose it would.”
"Yeah, I guess it would."
“Why not write your answer yourself, Elfride?” Mrs. Swancourt inquired.
“Why not write your answer yourself, Elfride?” Mrs. Swancourt asked.
“I might,” she said hesitatingly; “and send it anonymously: that would be treating him as he has treated me.”
“I might,” she said hesitantly; “and send it anonymously: that would be treating him the way he treated me.”
“No use in the world!”
"Not worth it!"
“But I don’t like to let him know my exact name. Suppose I put my initials only? The less you are known the more you are thought of.”
“But I don’t want him to know my exact name. What if I just use my initials? The less people know you, the more they think about you.”
“Yes; you might do that.”
"Yes, you could do that."
Elfride set to work there and then. Her one desire for the last fortnight seemed likely to be realized. As happens with sensitive and secluded minds, a continual dwelling upon the subject had magnified to colossal proportions the space she assumed herself to occupy or to have occupied in the occult critic’s mind. At noon and at night she had been pestering herself with endeavours to perceive more distinctly his conception of her as a woman apart from an author: whether he really despised her; whether he thought more or less of her than of ordinary young women who never ventured into the fire of criticism at all. Now she would have the satisfaction of feeling that at any rate he knew her true intent in crossing his path, and annoying him so by her performance, and be taught perhaps to despise it a little less.
Elfride got to work right away. Her one desire for the past two weeks seemed like it was finally going to come true. As often happens with sensitive and isolated people, constantly thinking about it had blown up the space she believed she occupied or had occupied in the critic’s mind to massive proportions. At noon and at night, she had been stressing herself out trying to understand how he viewed her as a woman, separate from her as an author: did he really look down on her? Did he think more or less of her than he did about ordinary young women who never stepped into the fire of criticism at all? Now she would finally get the satisfaction of knowing that, at the very least, he understood her true intention in crossing paths with him, even if it annoyed him a bit with her performance, and maybe he’d learn to look down on it a little less.
Four days later an envelope, directed to Miss Swancourt in a strange hand, made its appearance from the post-bag.
Four days later, an envelope addressed to Miss Swancourt in an unfamiliar handwriting appeared from the post bag.
“Oh,” said Elfride, her heart sinking within her. “Can it be from that man—a lecture for impertinence? And actually one for Mrs. Swancourt in the same hand-writing!” She feared to open hers. “Yet how can he know my name? No; it is somebody else.”
“Oh,” said Elfride, feeling a sense of dread. “Could this be from that guy—a lecture for being rude? And there's actually another one for Mrs. Swancourt in the same handwriting!” She hesitated to open hers. “But how could he know my name? No; it must be from someone else.”
“Nonsense!” said her father grimly. “You sent your initials, and the Directory was available. Though he wouldn’t have taken the trouble to look there unless he had been thoroughly savage with you. I thought you wrote with rather more asperity than simple literary discussion required.” This timely clause was introduced to save the character of the vicar’s judgment under any issue of affairs.
“Nonsense!” her father said seriously. “You sent your initials, and the Directory was available. Though he wouldn’t have bothered to look there unless he was really angry with you. I thought your writing was a bit more harsh than what simple literary discussion needed.” This important point was brought up to protect the vicar’s judgment in any situation that might arise.
“Well, here I go,” said Elfride, desperately tearing open the seal.
“Well, here I go,” Elfride said, urgently tearing open the seal.
“To be sure, of course,” exclaimed Mrs. Swancourt; and looking up from her own letter. “Christopher, I quite forgot to tell you, when I mentioned that I had seen my distant relative, Harry Knight, that I invited him here for whatever length of time he could spare. And now he says he can come any day in August.”
“To be sure, of course,” exclaimed Mrs. Swancourt, looking up from her letter. “Christopher, I completely forgot to tell you that when I mentioned seeing my distant relative, Harry Knight, I invited him here for as long as he can stay. And now he says he can come any day in August.”
“Write, and say the first of the month,” replied the indiscriminate vicar.
“Write, and say the first of the month,” replied the nonchalant vicar.
She read on, “Goodness me—and that isn’t all. He is actually the reviewer of Elfride’s book. How absurd, to be sure! I had no idea he reviewed novels or had anything to do with the PRESENT. He is a barrister—and I thought he only wrote in the Quarterlies. Why, Elfride, you have brought about an odd entanglement! What does he say to you?”
She continued reading, “Wow—and that’s not even everything. He’s actually the reviewer of Elfride’s book. How ridiculous, for sure! I had no idea he reviewed novels or was involved with the PRESENT. He’s a lawyer—and I thought he only wrote for the Quarterlies. Well, Elfride, you’ve created a strange situation! What does he say to you?”
Elfride had put down her letter with a dissatisfied flush on her face. “I don’t know. The idea of his knowing my name and all about me!...Why, he says nothing particular, only this—
Elfride had put down her letter with a frustrated look on her face. “I don’t know. The thought of him knowing my name and everything about me!...Well, he doesn’t say anything specific, just this—
“‘MY DEAR MADAM,—Though I am sorry that my remarks should have seemed harsh to you, it is a pleasure to find that they have been the means of bringing forth such an ingeniously argued reply. Unfortunately, it is so long since I wrote my review, that my memory does not serve me sufficiently to say a single word in my defence, even supposing there remains one to be said, which is doubtful. You will find from a letter I have written to Mrs. Swancourt, that we are not such strangers to each other as we have been imagining. Possibly, I may have the pleasure of seeing you soon, when any argument you choose to advance shall receive all the attention it deserves.’
“Dear Madam, — I’m sorry that my comments seemed harsh to you, but I'm glad they inspired such a cleverly put together response. Unfortunately, it’s been so long since I wrote my review that I can’t remember enough to defend myself, if there’s even a defense to offer, which is uncertain. You’ll see from a letter I wrote to Mrs. Swancourt that we’re not as much strangers as we thought we were. Hopefully, I’ll have the chance to see you soon, and any arguments you want to make will get the attention they deserve.”
“That is dim sarcasm—I know it is.”
"That's just subtle sarcasm—I know it is."
“Oh no, Elfride.”
“Oh no, Elfride.”
“And then, his remarks didn’t seem harsh—I mean I did not say so.”
“And then, his comments didn’t really come off as harsh—I mean, I didn’t say that.”
“He thinks you are in a frightful temper,” said Mr. Swancourt, chuckling in undertones.
“He thinks you’re in a terrible mood,” said Mr. Swancourt, chuckling quietly.
“And he will come and see me, and find the authoress as contemptible in speech as she has been impertinent in manner. I do heartily wish I had never written a word to him!”
“And he will come and see me, and find the author as worthless in speech as she has been rude in manner. I truly wish I had never written a single word to him!”
“Never mind,” said Mrs. Swancourt, also laughing in low quiet jerks; “it will make the meeting such a comical affair, and afford splendid by-play for your father and myself. The idea of our running our heads against Harry Knight all the time! I cannot get over that.”
“Never mind,” said Mrs. Swancourt, also laughing softly; “it will make the meeting such a funny event, and give your father and me some great side commentary. The thought of us constantly butting heads with Harry Knight! I just can’t get past that.”
The vicar had immediately remembered the name to be that of Stephen Smith’s preceptor and friend; but having ceased to concern himself in the matter he made no remark to that effect, consistently forbearing to allude to anything which could restore recollection of the (to him) disagreeable mistake with regard to poor Stephen’s lineage and position. Elfride had of course perceived the same thing, which added to the complication of relationship a mesh that her stepmother knew nothing of.
The vicar quickly recalled that the name belonged to Stephen Smith’s teacher and friend; however, since he no longer involved himself in the situation, he said nothing about it, avoiding any mention that might bring back memories of the (for him) unpleasant mistake regarding poor Stephen’s background and status. Elfride had naturally noticed the same thing, which added a layer of complexity to their relationship that her stepmother was unaware of.
The identification scarcely heightened Knight’s attractions now, though a twelvemonth ago she would only have cared to see him for the interest he possessed as Stephen’s friend. Fortunately for Knight’s advent, such a reason for welcome had only begun to be awkward to her at a time when the interest he had acquired on his own account made it no longer necessary.
The identification hardly increased Knight’s appeal now, although a year ago, she would have only wanted to see him for his connection as Stephen’s friend. Fortunately for Knight’s arrival, that reason for being welcomed had only started to feel awkward for her at a time when the interest he gained on his own made it unnecessary.
These coincidences, in common with all relating to him, tended to keep Elfride’s mind upon the stretch concerning Knight. As was her custom when upon the horns of a dilemma, she walked off by herself among the laurel bushes, and there, standing still and splitting up a leaf without removing it from its stalk, fetched back recollections of Stephen’s frequent words in praise of his friend, and wished she had listened more attentively. Then, still pulling the leaf, she would blush at some fancied mortification that would accrue to her from his words when they met, in consequence of her intrusiveness, as she now considered it, in writing to him.
These coincidences, like all the ones related to him, made Elfride think hard about Knight. As she usually did when faced with a tough choice, she walked off by herself among the laurel bushes. There, standing still and tearing a leaf without pulling it from its stem, she recalled Stephen’s frequent praise of his friend and wished she had paid more attention. Then, still tearing at the leaf, she would blush at the imagined embarrassment she might feel from his words when they met, because of what she now saw as her overstepping by writing to him.
The next development of her meditations was the subject of what this man’s personal appearance might be—was he tall or short, dark or fair, gay or grim? She would have asked Mrs. Swancourt but for the risk she might thereby incur of some teasing remark being returned. Ultimately Elfride would say, “Oh, what a plague that reviewer is to me!” and turn her face to where she imagined India lay, and murmur to herself, “Ah, my little husband, what are you doing now? Let me see, where are you—south, east, where? Behind that hill, ever so far behind!”
The next part of her thoughts was about what this guy looked like—was he tall or short, dark or light, cheerful or serious? She would have asked Mrs. Swancourt, but she worried about getting teased in return. Eventually, Elfride would say, “Oh, what a pain that reviewer is for me!” and turn her face toward where she imagined India was, murmuring to herself, “Ah, my little husband, what are you up to now? Let me see, where are you—south, east, where? Behind that hill, so far away!”
Chapter XVII
“Her welcome, spoke in faltering phrase.”
“Her welcome was expressed in hesitant words.”
“There is Henry Knight, I declare!” said Mrs. Swancourt one day.
“There’s Henry Knight, I swear!” said Mrs. Swancourt one day.
They were gazing from the jutting angle of a wild enclosure not far from The Crags, which almost overhung the valley already described as leading up from the sea and little port of Castle Boterel. The stony escarpment upon which they stood had the contour of a man’s face, and it was covered with furze as with a beard. People in the field above were preserved from an accidental roll down these prominences and hollows by a hedge on the very crest, which was doing that kindly service for Elfride and her mother now.
They were looking out from the sharp edge of a wild area not far from The Crags, which nearly hung over the valley that leads up from the sea and the small port of Castle Boterel. The rocky cliff they stood on looked like a man's face, and it was covered in furze like a beard. People in the field above were kept safe from accidentally rolling down these slopes and dips by a hedge at the very top, which was providing that helpful protection for Elfride and her mother now.
Scrambling higher into the hedge and stretching her neck further over the furze, Elfride beheld the individual signified. He was walking leisurely along the little green path at the bottom, beside the stream, a satchel slung upon his left hip, a stout walking-stick in his hand, and a brown-holland sun-hat upon his head. The satchel was worn and old, and the outer polished surface of the leather was cracked and peeling off.
Scrambling higher into the hedge and stretching her neck further over the gorse, Elfride spotted the person she recognized. He was strolling casually along the little green path at the bottom, next to the stream, with a satchel hanging from his left hip, a sturdy walking stick in his hand, and a brown canvas sun hat on his head. The satchel was worn and old, its polished leather surface cracked and peeling off.
Knight having arrived over the hills to Castle Boterel upon the top of a crazy omnibus, preferred to walk the remaining two miles up the valley, leaving his luggage to be brought on.
Knight, having arrived over the hills to Castle Boterel on top of a rickety bus, chose to walk the last two miles up the valley, leaving his luggage to be delivered.
Behind him wandered, helter-skelter, a boy of whom Knight had briefly inquired the way to Endelstow; and by that natural law of physics which causes lesser bodies to gravitate towards the greater, this boy had kept near to Knight, and trotted like a little dog close at his heels, whistling as he went, with his eyes fixed upon Knight’s boots as they rose and fell.
Behind him wandered a boy whom Knight had briefly asked for directions to Endelstow; and by that natural law of physics that makes smaller things gravitate toward larger ones, this boy had stayed close to Knight, trotting like a little dog right at his heels, whistling as he went, with his eyes fixed on Knight’s boots as they rose and fell.
When they had reached a point precisely opposite that in which Mrs. and Miss Swancourt lay in ambush, Knight stopped and turned round.
When they got to a spot directly across from where Mrs. and Miss Swancourt were hiding, Knight stopped and turned around.
“Look here, my boy,” he said.
“Hey, listen up, kid,” he said.
The boy parted his lips, opened his eyes, and answered nothing.
The boy opened his mouth, looked around, and didn’t say anything.
“Here’s sixpence for you, on condition that you don’t again come within twenty yards of my heels, all the way up the valley.”
“Here’s sixpence for you, on the condition that you don’t come within twenty yards of me again, all the way up the valley.”
The boy, who apparently had not known he had been looking at Knight’s heels at all, took the sixpence mechanically, and Knight went on again, wrapt in meditation.
The boy, who seemed to have no idea he was staring at Knight’s heels, took the sixpence automatically, and Knight continued on, lost in thought.
“A nice voice,” Elfride thought; “but what a singular temper!”
“A nice voice,” Elfride thought; “but what a strange personality!”
“Now we must get indoors before he ascends the slope,” said Mrs. Swancourt softly. And they went across by a short cut over a stile, entering the lawn by a side door, and so on to the house.
“Now we need to get inside before he climbs the slope,” Mrs. Swancourt said quietly. They took a shortcut over a stile, entered the lawn through a side door, and made their way to the house.
Mr. Swancourt had gone into the village with the curate, and Elfride felt too nervous to await their visitor’s arrival in the drawing-room with Mrs. Swancourt. So that when the elder lady entered, Elfride made some pretence of perceiving a new variety of crimson geranium, and lingered behind among the flower beds.
Mr. Swancourt had gone into the village with the curate, and Elfride felt too anxious to wait for their visitor in the drawing room with Mrs. Swancourt. So when the older woman came in, Elfride pretended to notice a new kind of red geranium and hung back among the flower beds.
There was nothing gained by this, after all, she thought; and a few minutes after boldly came into the house by the glass side-door. She walked along the corridor, and entered the drawing-room. Nobody was there.
There was nothing to gain from this, she thought; and a few minutes later, she confidently came into the house through the glass side door. She walked down the hallway and walked into the living room. No one was there.
A window at the angle of the room opened directly into an octagonal conservatory, enclosing the corner of the building. From the conservatory came voices in conversation—Mrs. Swancourt’s and the stranger’s.
A window at the corner of the room opened directly into an octagonal conservatory that enclosed the corner of the building. You could hear voices coming from the conservatory—Mrs. Swancourt’s and the stranger’s.
She had expected him to talk brilliantly. To her surprise he was asking questions in quite a learner’s manner, on subjects connected with the flowers and shrubs that she had known for years. When after the lapse of a few minutes he spoke at some length, she considered there was a hard square decisiveness in the shape of his sentences, as if, unlike her own and Stephen’s, they were not there and then newly constructed, but were drawn forth from a large store ready-made. They were now approaching the window to come in again.
She had expected him to speak brilliantly. To her surprise, he was asking questions in a very curious way about the flowers and shrubs she had known for years. When, after a few minutes, he spoke at length, she noticed a rigid, clear decisiveness in the way he formed his sentences, as if, unlike her own and Stephen’s, they weren’t freshly constructed in the moment but were pulled from a large collection that was already prepared. They were now getting closer to the window to come back inside.
“That is a flesh-coloured variety,” said Mrs. Swancourt. “But oleanders, though they are such bulky shrubs, are so very easily wounded as to be unprunable—giants with the sensitiveness of young ladies. Oh, here is Elfride!”
“That is a skin-toned variety,” said Mrs. Swancourt. “But oleanders, despite being such large shrubs, are so easily damaged that they can’t be pruned—like giants with the sensitivity of young women. Oh, here’s Elfride!”
Elfride looked as guilty and crestfallen as Lady Teazle at the dropping of the screen. Mrs. Swancourt presented him half comically, and Knight in a minute or two placed himself beside the young lady.
Elfride looked as guilty and downcast as Lady Teazle when the screen dropped. Mrs. Swancourt introduced him in a somewhat funny way, and Knight soon took a seat next to the young lady.
A complexity of instincts checked Elfride’s conventional smiles of complaisance and hospitality; and, to make her still less comfortable, Mrs. Swancourt immediately afterwards left them together to seek her husband. Mr. Knight, however, did not seem at all incommoded by his feelings, and he said with light easefulness:
A mix of instincts held back Elfride’s usual friendly smiles and warmth; and, to make her even more uncomfortable, Mrs. Swancourt quickly left them alone to find her husband. However, Mr. Knight didn’t appear bothered by his feelings at all, and he said with a casual ease:
“So, Miss Swancourt, I have met you at last. You escaped me by a few minutes only when we were in London.”
“So, Miss Swancourt, I finally meet you. You just missed me by a few minutes back when we were in London.”
“Yes. I found that you had seen Mrs. Swancourt.”
“Yes. I heard that you had seen Mrs. Swancourt.”
“And now reviewer and reviewed are face to face,” he added unconcernedly.
“And now the reviewer and the reviewed are face to face,” he added casually.
“Yes: though the fact of your being a relation of Mrs. Swancourt’s takes off the edge of it. It was strange that you should be one of her family all the time.” Elfride began to recover herself now, and to look into Knight’s face. “I was merely anxious to let you know my REAL meaning in writing the book—extremely anxious.”
“Yes: although the fact that you’re related to Mrs. Swancourt softens it a bit. It’s odd that you’re actually part of her family all along.” Elfride started to regain her composure and looked into Knight’s face. “I was just really eager to make sure you understood my TRUE intention in writing the book—very eager.”
“I can quite understand the wish; and I was gratified that my remarks should have reached home. They very seldom do, I am afraid.”
“I totally get why you feel that way; and I was happy that my comments actually resonated. That hardly ever happens, I'm afraid.”
Elfride drew herself in. Here he was, sticking to his opinions as firmly as if friendship and politeness did not in the least require an immediate renunciation of them.
Elfride pulled herself in. Here he was, holding onto his opinions as if friendship and politeness didn’t require him to abandon them right away at all.
“You made me very uneasy and sorry by writing such things!” she murmured, suddenly dropping the mere cacueterie of a fashionable first introduction, and speaking with some of the dudgeon of a child towards a severe schoolmaster.
“You made me feel really uneasy and sorry by writing that stuff!” she murmured, suddenly dropping the pretense of a trendy first introduction and speaking with the annoyance of a child towards a strict teacher.
“That is rather the object of honest critics in such a case. Not to cause unnecessary sorrow, but: ‘To make you sorry after a proper manner, that ye may receive damage by us in nothing,’ as a powerful pen once wrote to the Gentiles. Are you going to write another romance?”
“That is really the goal of honest critics in this situation. Not to bring about unnecessary sadness, but: ‘To make you feel regret in a meaningful way, so that you may suffer no harm from us,’ as a strong writer once said to the Gentiles. Are you planning to write another romance?”
“Write another?” she said. “That somebody may pen a condemnation and ‘nail’t wi’ Scripture’ again, as you do now, Mr. Knight?”
“Write another?” she said. “That someone might write a condemnation and ‘nail it with Scripture’ again, like you do now, Mr. Knight?”
“You may do better next time,” he said placidly: “I think you will. But I would advise you to confine yourself to domestic scenes.”
“You might do better next time,” he said calmly. “I believe you will. But I recommend that you stick to familiar settings.”
“Thank you. But never again!”
“Thanks. But never again!”
“Well, you may be right. That a young woman has taken to writing is not by any means the best thing to hear about her.”
“Well, you might be right. It's not exactly great news to hear that a young woman has taken up writing.”
“What is the best?”
"What's the best?"
“I prefer not to say.”
“I’d rather not say.”
“Do you know? Then, do tell me, please.”
“Do you know? Then please, share it with me.”
“Well”—(Knight was evidently changing his meaning)—“I suppose to hear that she has married.”
“Well”—(Knight was clearly shifting his meaning)—“I guess I should expect to hear that she has married.”
Elfride hesitated. “And what when she has been married?” she said at last, partly in order to withdraw her own person from the argument.
Elfride paused. “And what happens when she’s married?” she finally said, partly to remove herself from the discussion.
“Then to hear no more about her. It is as Smeaton said of his lighthouse: her greatest real praise, when the novelty of her inauguration has worn off, is that nothing happens to keep the talk of her alive.”
“Then to hear no more about her. It’s like Smeaton said about his lighthouse: her highest praise, after the excitement of her launch has faded, is that nothing happens to keep people talking about her.”
“Yes, I see,” said Elfride softly and thoughtfully. “But of course it is different quite with men. Why don’t you write novels, Mr. Knight?”
“Yes, I see,” Elfride said softly and with thoughtfulness. “But of course it's quite different with men. Why don’t you write novels, Mr. Knight?”
“Because I couldn’t write one that would interest anybody.”
“Because I couldn’t write one that would catch anyone’s interest.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“For several reasons. It requires a judicious omission of your real thoughts to make a novel popular, for one thing.”
“For several reasons. You need to carefully hold back your true thoughts to make a novel popular, for one thing.”
“Is that really necessary? Well, I am sure you could learn to do that with practice,” said Elfride with an ex-cathedra air, as became a person who spoke from experience in the art. “You would make a great name for certain,” she continued.
“Is that really necessary? Well, I’m sure you could learn to do that with practice,” Elfride said with an air of authority, like someone who knows what they’re talking about. “You’d definitely make a name for yourself,” she continued.
“So many people make a name nowadays, that it is more distinguished to remain in obscurity.”
“So many people get famous these days that it's actually more impressive to stay out of the spotlight.”
“Tell me seriously—apart from the subject—why don’t you write a volume instead of loose articles?” she insisted.
“Seriously, tell me—aside from the topic—why don’t you write a book instead of random articles?” she pressed.
“Since you are pleased to make me talk of myself, I will tell you seriously,” said Knight, not less amused at this catechism by his young friend than he was interested in her appearance. “As I have implied, I have not the wish. And if I had the wish, I could not now concentrate sufficiently. We all have only our one cruse of energy given us to make the best of. And where that energy has been leaked away week by week, quarter by quarter, as mine has for the last nine or ten years, there is not enough dammed back behind the mill at any given period to supply the force a complete book on any subject requires. Then there is the self-confidence and waiting power. Where quick results have grown customary, they are fatal to a lively faith in the future.”
“Since you’re so eager to hear me talk about myself, I’ll be honest,” said Knight, amused by his young friend’s questioning and intrigued by her appearance. “As I mentioned earlier, I don’t have the desire to do so. And even if I did, I couldn’t focus enough right now. We each have a limited amount of energy to make the most of. When that energy has been drained away week by week, quarter by quarter, like mine has over the last nine or ten years, there isn’t enough built up to support the effort required for a complete book on any topic. Plus, there’s the matter of self-confidence and patience. When quick results become the norm, they can seriously undermine one’s faith in the future.”
“Yes, I comprehend; and so you choose to write in fragments?”
“Yes, I understand; so you prefer to write in fragments?”
“No, I don’t choose to do it in the sense you mean; choosing from a whole world of professions, all possible. It was by the constraint of accident merely. Not that I object to the accident.”
“No, I don’t choose to do it in the way you’re thinking; I’m not selecting from countless professions. It just happened by chance. Not that I mind the chance.”
“Why don’t you object—I mean, why do you feel so quiet about things?” Elfride was half afraid to question him so, but her intense curiosity to see what the inside of literary Mr. Knight was like, kept her going on.
“Why don’t you speak up—I mean, why are you so quiet about everything?” Elfride was a bit scared to ask him that, but her strong curiosity to understand what literary Mr. Knight was really like pushed her to keep going.
Knight certainly did not mind being frank with her. Instances of this trait in men who are not without feeling, but are reticent from habit, may be recalled by all of us. When they find a listener who can by no possibility make use of them, rival them, or condemn them, reserved and even suspicious men of the world become frank, keenly enjoying the inner side of their frankness.
Knight definitely didn’t mind being honest with her. We can all remember moments when men who do have feelings but are usually reserved by nature open up. When they meet someone who can’t use that honesty against them, compete with them, or judge them, even the most guarded and wary men tend to become open, really enjoying the deeper aspects of their honesty.
“Why I don’t mind the accidental constraint,” he replied, “is because, in making beginnings, a chance limitation of direction is often better than absolute freedom.”
“Why I don’t mind the accidental constraint,” he replied, “is because, when starting something, a random limitation on direction is often better than having complete freedom.”
“I see—that is, I should if I quite understood what all those generalities mean.”
"I get it—that is, I would if I truly understood what all those general statements mean."
“Why, this: That an arbitrary foundation for one’s work, which no length of thought can alter, leaves the attention free to fix itself on the work itself, and make the best of it.”
“Here’s the thing: Having an arbitrary basis for your work, which can't be changed no matter how much you think about it, allows your focus to concentrate on the work itself and to make the most of it.”
“Lateral compression forcing altitude, as would be said in that tongue,” she said mischievously. “And I suppose where no limit exists, as in the case of a rich man with a wide taste who wants to do something, it will be better to choose a limit capriciously than to have none.”
“Lateral compression forcing altitude, as they would say in that language,” she said playfully. “And I guess where there are no limits, like with a wealthy person who has diverse interests and wants to try something, it's better to set a limit randomly than to have none at all.”
“Yes,” he said meditatively. “I can go as far as that.”
“Yes,” he said thoughtfully. “I can go that far.”
“Well,” resumed Elfride, “I think it better for a man’s nature if he does nothing in particular.”
“Well,” Elfride continued, “I think it's better for a man’s nature if he doesn’t do anything in particular.”
“There is such a case as being obliged to.”
“There is such a thing as being obligated to.”
“Yes, yes; I was speaking of when you are not obliged for any other reason than delight in the prospect of fame. I have thought many times lately that a thin widespread happiness, commencing now, and of a piece with the days of your life, is preferable to an anticipated heap far away in the future, and none now.”
“Yes, yes; I was talking about when you’re not motivated by anything other than the joy of the idea of fame. I've often thought lately that a light, widespread happiness, starting now, and consistent with the days of your life, is better than a huge pile of it waiting far in the future, with none here and now.”
“Why, that’s the very thing I said just now as being the principle of all ephemeral doers like myself.”
“Why, that’s exactly what I just said is the main idea behind all temporary doers like me.”
“Oh, I am sorry to have parodied you,” she said with some confusion. “Yes, of course. That is what you meant about not trying to be famous.” And she added, with the quickness of conviction characteristic of her mind: “There is much littleness in trying to be great. A man must think a good deal of himself, and be conceited enough to believe in himself, before he tries at all.”
“Oh, I’m sorry for making fun of you,” she said, somewhat confused. “Yes, of course. That’s what you meant about not trying to be famous.” And she added, with the quickness of conviction typical of her thinking: “There’s a lot of smallness in trying to be great. A person has to think a lot of themselves and be conceited enough to believe in themselves before they even attempt it.”
“But it is soon enough to say there is harm in a man’s thinking a good deal of himself when it is proved he has been thinking wrong, and too soon then sometimes. Besides, we should not conclude that a man who strives earnestly for success does so with a strong sense of his own merit. He may see how little success has to do with merit, and his motive may be his very humility.”
“But it’s too early to say there’s damage in a guy thinking highly of himself when it’s shown he’s been thinking incorrectly, and sometimes it’s too soon for that. Also, we shouldn’t assume that a person who works hard for success does so with a strong belief in their own worth. They might realize how little success actually relates to merit, and their motivation might stem from their own humility.”
This manner of treating her rather provoked Elfride. No sooner did she agree with him than he ceased to seem to wish it, and took the other side. “Ah,” she thought inwardly, “I shall have nothing to do with a man of this kind, though he is our visitor.”
This way of treating her really annoyed Elfride. As soon as she agreed with him, he immediately stopped wanting it and took the opposite view. “Ah,” she thought to herself, “I want nothing to do with a guy like this, even if he is our guest.”
“I think you will find,” resumed Knight, pursuing the conversation more for the sake of finishing off his thoughts on the subject than for engaging her attention, “that in actual life it is merely a matter of instinct with men—this trying to push on. They awake to a recognition that they have, without premeditation, begun to try a little, and they say to themselves, ‘Since I have tried thus much, I will try a little more.’ They go on because they have begun.”
“I think you’ll find,” Knight continued, more focused on completing his thoughts than actually engaging her, “that in real life, it’s just instinct for men—this urge to move forward. They suddenly realize that they’ve, without planning, started to put in some effort, and they say to themselves, ‘Since I’ve tried this much, I’ll try a bit more.’ They keep going because they’ve already started.”
Elfride, in her turn, was not particularly attending to his words at this moment. She had, unconsciously to herself, a way of seizing any point in the remarks of an interlocutor which interested her, and dwelling upon it, and thinking thoughts of her own thereupon, totally oblivious of all that he might say in continuation. On such occasions she artlessly surveyed the person speaking; and then there was a time for a painter. Her eyes seemed to look at you, and past you, as you were then, into your future; and past your future into your eternity—not reading it, but gazing in an unused, unconscious way—her mind still clinging to its original thought.
Elfride, meanwhile, wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying at that moment. Without realizing it, she had a habit of picking up on any part of her conversation partner’s remarks that intrigued her, focusing on it, and thinking her own thoughts about it, completely ignoring whatever else he might say afterward. During these times, she innocently studied the person speaking; it was a moment perfect for an artist. Her eyes seemed to look both at you and past you, into your future, and beyond that into your eternity—not reading it, but gazing in a way that was both unused and unconscious—her mind still attached to its original idea.
This is how she was looking at Knight.
This is how she was looking at Knight.
Suddenly Elfride became conscious of what she was doing, and was painfully confused.
Suddenly, Elfride realized what she was doing and felt a deep sense of confusion.
“What were you so intent upon in me?” he inquired.
“What were you so focused on with me?” he asked.
“As far as I was thinking of you at all, I was thinking how clever you are,” she said, with a want of premeditation that was startling in its honesty and simplicity.
“As far as I thought about you at all, I was thinking how clever you are,” she said, with an unexpected honesty and straightforwardness that was surprising.
Feeling restless now that she had so unwittingly spoken, she arose and stepped to the window, having heard the voices of her father and Mrs. Swancourt coming up below the terrace. “Here they are,” she said, going out. Knight walked out upon the lawn behind her. She stood upon the edge of the terrace, close to the stone balustrade, and looked towards the sun, hanging over a glade just now fair as Tempe’s vale, up which her father was walking.
Feeling restless after having spoken so unexpectedly, she got up and moved to the window, having heard the voices of her father and Mrs. Swancourt coming up from below the terrace. “Here they are,” she said, stepping outside. Knight followed her out onto the lawn. She stood at the edge of the terrace, near the stone railing, and looked towards the sun, which was hanging over a glade that was as beautiful as Tempe’s valley, where her father was walking.
Knight could not help looking at her. The sun was within ten degrees of the horizon, and its warm light flooded her face and heightened the bright rose colour of her cheeks to a vermilion red, their moderate pink hue being only seen in its natural tone where the cheek curved round into shadow. The ends of her hanging hair softly dragged themselves backwards and forwards upon her shoulder as each faint breeze thrust against or relinquished it. Fringes and ribbons of her dress, moved by the same breeze, licked like tongues upon the parts around them, and fluttering forward from shady folds caught likewise their share of the lustrous orange glow.
Knight couldn't help but stare at her. The sun was about ten degrees above the horizon, and its warm light lit up her face, making the bright rose color of her cheeks turn a vivid vermilion red, with the more natural pink only visible where her cheeks curved into shadow. The ends of her long hair gently swayed back and forth on her shoulder as every light breeze pushed against or let go of it. The fringes and ribbons of her dress, moved by the same breeze, brushed against the surrounding parts like curious tongues, and the fluttering fabric from the shaded folds caught their share of the glowing orange light.
Mr. Swancourt shouted out a welcome to Knight from a distance of about thirty yards, and after a few preliminary words proceeded to a conversation of deep earnestness on Knight’s fine old family name, and theories as to lineage and intermarriage connected therewith. Knight’s portmanteau having in the meantime arrived, they soon retired to prepare for dinner, which had been postponed two hours later than the usual time of that meal.
Mr. Swancourt called out a greeting to Knight from about thirty yards away, and after a few casual remarks, they got into a serious discussion about Knight's impressive family name and the theories around its lineage and intermarriage. Once Knight's suitcase arrived, they quickly went inside to get ready for dinner, which had been pushed back two hours from the usual time.
An arrival was an event in the life of Elfride, now that they were again in the country, and that of Knight necessarily an engrossing one. And that evening she went to bed for the first time without thinking of Stephen at all.
An arrival was a significant event in Elfride's life, especially now that they were back in the countryside, and it was an important one for Knight as well. That evening, she went to bed for the first time without thinking about Stephen at all.
Chapter XVIII
“He heard her musical pants.”
“He heard her catchy tunes.”
The old tower of West Endelstow Church had reached the last weeks of its existence. It was to be replaced by a new one from the designs of Mr. Hewby, the architect who had sent down Stephen. Planks and poles had arrived in the churchyard, iron bars had been thrust into the venerable crack extending down the belfry wall to the foundation, the bells had been taken down, the owls had forsaken this home of their forefathers, and six iconoclasts in white fustian, to whom a cracked edifice was a species of Mumbo Jumbo, had taken lodgings in the village previous to beginning the actual removal of the stones.
The old tower of West Endelstow Church was in its final weeks. It was set to be replaced by a new one designed by Mr. Hewby, the architect who had sent for Stephen. Wood and poles had been brought to the churchyard, iron bars had been inserted into the ancient crack running down the belfry wall to the foundation, the bells had been removed, the owls had abandoned this ancestral home, and six workers in white fabric, who saw a damaged building as a kind of superstition, had settled in the village before starting the actual removal of the stones.
This was the day after Knight’s arrival. To enjoy for the last time the prospect seaward from the summit, the vicar, Mrs. Swancourt, Knight, and Elfride, all ascended the winding turret—Mr. Swancourt stepping forward with many loud breaths, his wife struggling along silently, but suffering none the less. They had hardly reached the top when a large lurid cloud, palpably a reservoir of rain, thunder, and lightning, was seen to be advancing overhead from the north.
This was the day after Knight arrived. To enjoy one last view of the sea from the top, the vicar, Mrs. Swancourt, Knight, and Elfride all climbed the winding turret—Mr. Swancourt moving ahead with heavy breaths, while his wife quietly fought her way up, but felt the strain just as much. They had barely reached the top when a large, ominous cloud, clearly filled with rain, thunder, and lightning, moved in from the north.
The two cautious elders suggested an immediate return, and proceeded to put it in practice as regarded themselves.
The two careful elders suggested going back right away and started to do so for themselves.
“Dear me, I wish I had not come up,” exclaimed Mrs. Swancourt.
“Honestly, I wish I hadn't come up,” exclaimed Mrs. Swancourt.
“We shall be slower than you two in going down,” the vicar said over his shoulder, “and so, don’t you start till we are nearly at the bottom, or you will run over us and break our necks somewhere in the darkness of the turret.”
“We’re going to take our time getting down,” the vicar said over his shoulder, “so don’t start until we’re almost at the bottom, or you’ll run us over and break our necks in the dark of the turret.”
Accordingly Elfride and Knight waited on the leads till the staircase should be clear. Knight was not in a talkative mood that morning. Elfride was rather wilful, by reason of his inattention, which she privately set down to his thinking her not worth talking to. Whilst Knight stood watching the rise of the cloud, she sauntered to the other side of the tower, and there remembered a giddy feat she had performed the year before. It was to walk round upon the parapet of the tower—which was quite without battlement or pinnacle, and presented a smooth flat surface about two feet wide, forming a pathway on all the four sides. Without reflecting in the least upon what she was doing she now stepped upon the parapet in the old way, and began walking along.
Accordingly, Elfride and Knight waited on the leads until the staircase was clear. Knight wasn't in a talkative mood that morning. Elfride felt a bit stubborn because of his lack of attention, which she secretly attributed to him thinking she wasn't worth talking to. While Knight stood watching the clouds rise, she wandered to the other side of the tower and remembered a daring stunt she had pulled off the previous year. It involved walking around on the parapet of the tower, which was completely flat and lacked battlements or pinnacles, creating a smooth pathway about two feet wide all the way around. Without really thinking about what she was doing, she stepped onto the parapet as she had before and started walking along it.
“We are down, cousin Henry,” cried Mrs. Swancourt up the turret. “Follow us when you like.”
“We're down, cousin Henry,” shouted Mrs. Swancourt up the turret. “Join us whenever you want.”
Knight turned and saw Elfride beginning her elevated promenade. His face flushed with mingled concern and anger at her rashness.
Knight turned and saw Elfride starting her high-profile walk. His face filled with a mix of worry and anger at her recklessness.
“I certainly gave you credit for more common sense,” he said.
“I definitely thought you had more common sense,” he said.
She reddened a little and walked on.
She blushed a bit and kept walking.
“Miss Swancourt, I insist upon your coming down,” he exclaimed.
“Miss Swancourt, I insist that you come down,” he exclaimed.
“I will in a minute. I am safe enough. I have done it often.”
“I'll be there in a minute. I'm fine. I've done this many times before.”
At that moment, by reason of a slight perturbation his words had caused in her, Elfride’s foot caught itself in a little tuft of grass growing in a joint of the stone-work, and she almost lost her balance. Knight sprang forward with a face of horror. By what seemed the special interposition of a considerate Providence she tottered to the inner edge of the parapet instead of to the outer, and reeled over upon the lead roof two or three feet below the wall.
At that moment, due to a slight disturbance his words had caused in her, Elfride’s foot got caught in a little clump of grass growing in a joint of the stonework, and she nearly lost her balance. Knight rushed forward, horrified. By what seemed like a special act of a caring fate, she stumbled toward the inner edge of the parapet instead of the outer, and fell onto the lead roof a couple of feet below the wall.
Knight seized her as in a vice, and he said, panting, “That ever I should have met a woman fool enough to do a thing of that kind! Good God, you ought to be ashamed of yourself!”
Knight grabbed her tightly, and he said, breathing heavily, “I can’t believe I met a woman who’s foolish enough to do something like that! Good God, you should be ashamed of yourself!”
The close proximity of the Shadow of Death had made her sick and pale as a corpse before he spoke. Already lowered to that state, his words completely over-powered her, and she swooned away as he held her.
The close proximity of the Shadow of Death had made her sick and pale like a corpse before he spoke. Already brought down to that state, his words completely overwhelmed her, and she fainted as he held her.
Elfride’s eyes were not closed for more than forty seconds. She opened them, and remembered the position instantly. His face had altered its expression from stern anger to pity. But his severe remarks had rather frightened her, and she struggled to be free.
Elfride's eyes were shut for no more than forty seconds. She opened them and immediately recalled the situation. His face had shifted from stern anger to pity. But his harsh words had scared her a bit, and she fought to break free.
“If you can stand, of course you may,” he said, and loosened his arms. “I hardly know whether most to laugh at your freak or to chide you for its folly.”
“If you can stand, of course you may,” he said, and relaxed his grip. “I hardly know if I should laugh at your weirdness or scold you for being foolish.”
She immediately sank upon the lead-work. Knight lifted her again. “Are you hurt?” he said.
She immediately collapsed onto the lead work. Knight lifted her up again. “Are you hurt?” he asked.
She murmured an incoherent expression, and tried to smile; saying, with a fitful aversion of her face, “I am only frightened. Put me down, do put me down!”
She whispered something unclear and tried to smile, saying with a shaky look on her face, “I’m just scared. Please put me down, just put me down!”
“But you can’t walk,” said Knight.
“But you can’t walk,” Knight said.
“You don’t know that; how can you? I am only frightened, I tell you,” she answered petulantly, and raised her hand to her forehead. Knight then saw that she was bleeding from a severe cut in her wrist, apparently where it had descended upon a salient corner of the lead-work. Elfride, too, seemed to perceive and feel this now for the first time, and for a minute nearly lost consciousness again. Knight rapidly bound his handkerchief round the place, and to add to the complication, the thundercloud he had been watching began to shed some heavy drops of rain. Knight looked up and saw the vicar striding towards the house, and Mrs. Swancourt waddling beside him like a hard-driven duck.
“You don’t know that; how could you? I’m just scared, I tell you,” she replied irritably, raising her hand to her forehead. Knight then noticed that she was bleeding from a deep cut on her wrist, apparently where it had hit a sharp edge of the lead work. Elfride also seemed to realize and feel this for the first time, nearly losing consciousness again for a moment. Knight quickly wrapped his handkerchief around the wound, and to make things worse, the thundercloud he had been watching started to pour down heavy rain. Knight looked up and saw the vicar marching towards the house, with Mrs. Swancourt waddling beside him like a tired duck.
“As you are so faint, it will be much better to let me carry you down,” said Knight; “or at any rate inside out of the rain.” But her objection to be lifted made it impossible for him to support her for more than five steps.
“As you seem too weak, it would be much better for me to carry you down,” said Knight; “or at least inside to get you out of the rain.” But her resistance to being lifted made it impossible for him to help her for more than five steps.
“This is folly, great folly,” he exclaimed, setting her down.
“This is foolishness, pure foolishness,” he exclaimed, setting her down.
“Indeed!” she murmured, with tears in her eyes. “I say I will not be carried, and you say this is folly!”
“Definitely!” she whispered, with tears in her eyes. “I’m saying I won’t be carried, and you say this is foolish!”
“So it is.”
"That's how it is."
“No, it isn’t!”
“No, it’s not!”
“It is folly, I think. At any rate, the origin of it all is.”
“It seems like foolishness to me. In any case, that's where it all began.”
“I don’t agree to it. And you needn’t get so angry with me; I am not worth it.”
“I don’t agree with it. And you don’t need to get so angry at me; I'm not worth it.”
“Indeed you are. You are worth the enmity of princes, as was said of such another. Now, then, will you clasp your hands behind my neck, that I may carry you down without hurting you?”
“Absolutely, you are. You're worth the hatred of royalty, just like they said about someone else. So, will you link your hands behind my neck so I can carry you down safely?”
“No, no.”
“Nope.”
“You had better, or I shall foreclose.”
“You better do it, or I’ll take action.”
“What’s that!”
“What’s that?”
“Deprive you of your chance.”
“Take away your opportunity.”
Elfride gave a little toss.
Elfride tossed her head lightly.
“Now, don’t writhe so when I attempt to carry you.”
“Now, don’t squirm so much when I try to lift you.”
“I can’t help it.”
"I can't help it."
“Then submit quietly.”
“Then submit peacefully.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care,” she murmured in languid tones and with closed eyes.
“I don't care. I don't care,” she murmured softly, her eyes shut.
He took her into his arms, entered the turret, and with slow and cautious steps descended round and round. Then, with the gentleness of a nursing mother, he attended to the cut on her arm. During his progress through the operations of wiping it and binding it up anew, her face changed its aspect from pained indifference to something like bashful interest, interspersed with small tremors and shudders of a trifling kind.
He pulled her into his arms, went into the turret, and carefully descended step by step. Then, gently like a caring mother, he tended to the cut on her arm. As he wiped it and wrapped it up again, her expression shifted from pained indifference to a hint of shy interest, mixed with slight tremors and shudders.
In the centre of each pale cheek a small red spot the size of a wafer had now made its appearance, and continued to grow larger. Elfride momentarily expected a recurrence to the lecture on her foolishness, but Knight said no more than this—
In the center of each pale cheek, a small red spot the size of a wafer had appeared and was getting bigger. Elfride briefly expected a return to the lecture about her foolishness, but Knight said nothing more than this—
“Promise me NEVER to walk on that parapet again.”
“Promise me you will NEVER walk on that ledge again.”
“It will be pulled down soon: so I do.” In a few minutes she continued in a lower tone, and seriously, “You are familiar of course, as everybody is, with those strange sensations we sometimes have, that our life for the moment exists in duplicate.”
“It will be taken down soon: I believe that.” After a few minutes, she spoke again in a quieter and serious tone, “You know, like everyone else, about those strange feelings we sometimes experience, where it seems like our life is existing in two places at once.”
“That we have lived through that moment before?”
“That we have experienced that moment before?”
“Or shall again. Well, I felt on the tower that something similar to that scene is again to be common to us both.”
“Or shall again. Well, I felt on the tower that something like that scene is going to be common to both of us again.”
“God forbid!” said Knight. “Promise me that you will never again walk on any such place on any consideration.”
“God forbid!” said Knight. “Promise me that you will never walk in a place like that again, no matter what.”
“I do.”
"I do."
“That such a thing has not been before, we know. That it shall not be again, you vow. Therefore think no more of such a foolish fancy.”
“That something like this hasn’t happened before, we know. That it won’t happen again, you promise. So don’t dwell on such a silly idea.”
There had fallen a great deal of rain, but unaccompanied by lightning. A few minutes longer, and the storm had ceased.
There had been a lot of rain, but without any lightning. A few minutes later, the storm stopped.
“Now, take my arm, please.”
“Please take my arm now.”
“Oh no, it is not necessary.” This relapse into wilfulness was because he had again connected the epithet foolish with her.
“Oh no, that’s not needed.” This return to stubbornness was because he had once more associated the term foolish with her.
“Nonsense: it is quite necessary; it will rain again directly, and you are not half recovered.” And without more ado Knight took her hand, drew it under his arm, and held it there so firmly that she could not have removed it without a struggle. Feeling like a colt in a halter for the first time, at thus being led along, yet afraid to be angry, it was to her great relief that she saw the carriage coming round the corner to fetch them.
“Nonsense: it’s really necessary; it's about to rain again, and you’re still not fully better.” And without any delay, Knight took her hand, tucked it under his arm, and held it there so tightly that she couldn’t pull it away without a fight. Feeling like a colt in a halter for the first time, being led along but hesitant to be angry, she was greatly relieved when she saw the carriage rounding the corner to pick them up.
Her fall upon the roof was necessarily explained to some extent upon their entering the house; but both forbore to mention a word of what she had been doing to cause such an accident. During the remainder of the afternoon Elfride was invisible; but at dinner-time she appeared as bright as ever.
Her fall on the roof was partially explained when they got into the house, but neither of them brought up what she had been doing to cause the accident. For the rest of the afternoon, Elfride was nowhere to be seen; but at dinner, she showed up looking as cheerful as always.
In the drawing-room, after having been exclusively engaged with Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt through the intervening hour, Knight again found himself thrown with Elfride. She had been looking over a chess problem in one of the illustrated periodicals.
In the living room, after spending the past hour solely with Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt, Knight found himself back with Elfride. She had been reviewing a chess puzzle in one of the illustrated magazines.
“You like chess, Miss Swancourt?”
"Do you like chess, Miss Swancourt?"
“Yes. It is my favourite scientific game; indeed, excludes every other. Do you play?”
“Yes. It’s my favorite science game; nothing else compares. Do you play?”
“I have played; though not lately.”
“I have played; just not recently.”
“Challenge him, Elfride,” said the vicar heartily. “She plays very well for a lady, Mr. Knight.”
“Go ahead and challenge him, Elfride,” the vicar said cheerfully. “She plays really well for a woman, Mr. Knight.”
“Shall we play?” asked Elfride tentatively.
“Should we play?” asked Elfride hesitantly.
“Oh, certainly. I shall be delighted.”
“Oh, definitely. I’d be happy to.”
The game began. Mr. Swancourt had forgotten a similar performance with Stephen Smith the year before. Elfride had not; but she had begun to take for her maxim the undoubted truth that the necessity of continuing faithful to Stephen, without suspicion, dictated a fickle behaviour almost as imperatively as fickleness itself; a fact, however, which would give a startling advantage to the latter quality should it ever appear.
The game started. Mr. Swancourt had forgotten a similar event with Stephen Smith the year before. Elfride hadn’t; however, she had begun to adopt the undeniable truth that the need to remain loyal to Stephen, without any doubt, demanded a changeable behavior almost as strongly as changeability itself; a reality that would give a surprising edge to the latter trait if it ever came up.
Knight, by one of those inexcusable oversights which will sometimes afflict the best of players, placed his rook in the arms of one of her pawns. It was her first advantage. She looked triumphant—even ruthless.
Knight, due to one of those frustrating mistakes that can occasionally happen to even the best players, left his rook vulnerable to one of her pawns. It was her first advantage. She looked victorious—even merciless.
“By George! what was I thinking of?” said Knight quietly; and then dismissed all concern at his accident.
“Wow! What was I thinking?” Knight said quietly, then brushed off any worry about his accident.
“Club laws we’ll have, won’t we, Mr. Knight?” said Elfride suasively.
“Club rules, right, Mr. Knight?” Elfride said persuasively.
“Oh yes, certainly,” said Mr. Knight, a thought, however, just occurring to his mind, that he had two or three times allowed her to replace a man on her religiously assuring him that such a move was an absolute blunder.
“Oh yes, definitely,” said Mr. Knight, though a thought just crossed his mind that he had let her take a man's place two or three times while firmly assuring him that it was a huge mistake.
She immediately took up the unfortunate rook and the contest proceeded, Elfride having now rather the better of the game. Then he won the exchange, regained his position, and began to press her hard. Elfride grew flurried, and placed her queen on his remaining rook’s file.
She quickly picked up the unfortunate rook, and the game continued, with Elfride now having the upper hand. Then he won the exchange, got back into position, and started to put a lot of pressure on her. Elfride became flustered and moved her queen onto his remaining rook's file.
“There—how stupid! Upon my word, I did not see your rook. Of course nobody but a fool would have put a queen there knowingly!”
“There—how stupid! I honestly didn’t see your rook. Of course, only an idiot would have placed a queen there on purpose!”
She spoke excitedly, half expecting her antagonist to give her back the move.
She spoke excitedly, half expecting her opponent to return the favor.
“Nobody, of course,” said Knight serenely, and stretched out his hand towards his royal victim.
“Nobody, of course,” Knight said calmly, extending his hand toward his royal victim.
“It is not very pleasant to have it taken advantage of, then,” she said with some vexation.
“It’s not very nice to have someone take advantage of it, then,” she said with some annoyance.
“Club laws, I think you said?” returned Knight blandly, and mercilessly appropriating the queen.
“Club rules, I think you mentioned?” Knight replied flatly, mercilessly taking the queen.
She was on the brink of pouting, but was ashamed to show it; tears almost stood in her eyes. She had been trying so hard—so very hard—thinking and thinking till her brain was in a whirl; and it seemed so heartless of him to treat her so, after all.
She was about to pout, but felt embarrassed to show it; tears were almost in her eyes. She had been trying really hard—so hard—thinking and thinking until her mind was spinning; it felt so cruel of him to treat her this way, after everything.
“I think it is——” she began.
“I think it is——” she began.
“What?”
"What did you say?"
—“Unkind to take advantage of a pure mistake I make in that way.”
—“It's cruel to exploit a genuine mistake I made like that.”
“I lost my rook by even a purer mistake,” said the enemy in an inexorable tone, without lifting his eyes.
“I lost my rook due to an even dumber mistake,” said the enemy in an unyielding tone, without looking up.
“Yes, but——” However, as his logic was absolutely unanswerable, she merely registered a protest. “I cannot endure those cold-blooded ways of clubs and professional players, like Staunton and Morphy. Just as if it really mattered whether you have raised your fingers from a man or no!”
“Yes, but——” However, since his reasoning was completely unchallengeable, she simply voiced her objection. “I can’t stand those emotionless tactics of clubs and professional players, like Staunton and Morphy. As if it truly matters whether you’ve lifted your fingers from a man or not!”
Knight smiled as pitilessly as before, and they went on in silence.
Knight smiled just as ruthlessly as before, and they continued on in silence.
“Checkmate,” said Knight.
“Checkmate,” said Knight.
“Another game,” said Elfride peremptorily, and looking very warm.
“Another game,” Elfride said firmly, looking quite warm.
“With all my heart,” said Knight.
“With all my heart,” said Knight.
“Checkmate,” said Knight again at the end of forty minutes.
“Checkmate,” Knight said again after forty minutes.
“Another game,” she returned resolutely.
“Another game,” she replied firmly.
“I’ll give you the odds of a bishop,” Knight said to her kindly.
“I'll give you the odds of a bishop,” Knight said to her gently.
“No, thank you,” Elfride replied in a tone intended for courteous indifference; but, as a fact, very cavalier indeed.
“No, thank you,” Elfride replied in a tone that was meant to sound polite but actually came off as quite dismissive.
“Checkmate,” said her opponent without the least emotion.
“Checkmate,” her opponent said, showing no emotion at all.
Oh, the difference between Elfride’s condition of mind now, and when she purposely made blunders that Stephen Smith might win!
Oh, the difference between Elfride’s state of mind now and when she deliberately made mistakes so that Stephen Smith could win!
It was bedtime. Her mind as distracted as if it would throb itself out of her head, she went off to her chamber, full of mortification at being beaten time after time when she herself was the aggressor. Having for two or three years enjoyed the reputation throughout the globe of her father’s brain—which almost constituted her entire world—of being an excellent player, this fiasco was intolerable; for unfortunately the person most dogged in the belief in a false reputation is always that one, the possessor, who has the best means of knowing that it is not true.
It was bedtime. Her mind was so scattered it felt like it was going to burst, so she went to her room, feeling humiliated that she kept losing even though she was the one making the first move. For the past couple of years, she had built her entire identity around her father's reputation as a brilliant player, which was known worldwide, and this failure was unbearable. Sadly, the person who clings hardest to a false reputation is often the one who knows best that it isn’t true.
In bed no sleep came to soothe her; that gentle thing being the very middle-of-summer friend in this respect of flying away at the merest troublous cloud. After lying awake till two o’clock an idea seemed to strike her. She softly arose, got a light, and fetched a Chess Praxis from the library. Returning and sitting up in bed, she diligently studied the volume till the clock struck five, and her eyelids felt thick and heavy. She then extinguished the light and lay down again.
In bed, she couldn't sleep; that gentle thing, like a summer friend, would vanish at the slightest hint of trouble. After lying awake until two o'clock, an idea suddenly hit her. She quietly got up, turned on a light, and took a Chess Praxis from the library. Sitting up in bed, she focused intently on the book until the clock struck five, and her eyelids felt heavy and thick. Then, she turned off the light and lay down again.
“You look pale, Elfride,” said Mrs. Swancourt the next morning at breakfast. “Isn’t she, cousin Harry?”
“You look pale, Elfride,” Mrs. Swancourt said the next morning at breakfast. “Don’t you think so, cousin Harry?”
A young girl who is scarcely ill at all can hardly help becoming so when regarded as such by all eyes turning upon her at the table in obedience to some remark. Everybody looked at Elfride. She certainly was pale.
A young girl who is hardly sick at all can’t help but feel unwell when everyone is staring at her at the table in response to some comment. Everyone looked at Elfride. She definitely looked pale.
“Am I pale?” she said with a faint smile. “I did not sleep much. I could not get rid of armies of bishops and knights, try how I would.”
“Am I looking pale?” she asked with a slight smile. “I didn’t sleep much. I couldn’t shake off these endless armies of bishops and knights, no matter what I did.”
“Chess is a bad thing just before bedtime; especially for excitable people like yourself, dear. Don’t ever play late again.”
“Chess isn’t a great idea right before bed; especially for people like you, dear, who get easily excited. Please don’t play late again.”
“I’ll play early instead. Cousin Knight,” she said in imitation of Mrs. Swancourt, “will you oblige me in something?”
“I'll play early instead. Cousin Knight,” she said, mimicking Mrs. Swancourt, “can you do me a favor?”
“Even to half my kingdom.”
"Even half my kingdom."
“Well, it is to play one game more.”
“Well, it’s to play one more game.”
“When?”
“When?”
“Now, instantly; the moment we have breakfasted.”
“Now, right away; as soon as we finish breakfast.”
“Nonsense, Elfride,” said her father. “Making yourself a slave to the game like that.”
“Nonsense, Elfride,” her father said. “Why are you making yourself a slave to the game like that?”
“But I want to, papa! Honestly, I am restless at having been so ignominiously overcome. And Mr. Knight doesn’t mind. So what harm can there be?”
“But I want to, Dad! Seriously, I can't stand having been so shamefully defeated. And Mr. Knight is okay with it. So what’s the harm?”
“Let us play, by all means, if you wish it,” said Knight.
“Of course, let’s play if that’s what you want,” said Knight.
So, when breakfast was over, the combatants withdrew to the quiet of the library, and the door was closed. Elfride seemed to have an idea that her conduct was rather ill-regulated and startlingly free from conventional restraint. And worse, she fancied upon Knight’s face a slightly amused look at her proceedings.
So, when breakfast ended, the fighters moved to the calm of the library, and the door was shut. Elfride felt like her behavior was a bit reckless and surprisingly lacking in social norms. To make matters worse, she thought she saw a hint of amusement on Knight’s face regarding her actions.
“You think me foolish, I suppose,” she said recklessly; “but I want to do my very best just once, and see whether I can overcome you.”
“You think I’m foolish, I guess,” she said daringly; “but I want to give it my all just once, and see if I can beat you.”
“Certainly: nothing more natural. Though I am afraid it is not the plan adopted by women of the world after a defeat.”
“Of course: nothing more natural. But I’m afraid that’s not the approach taken by women in the world after a setback.”
“Why, pray?”
"Why, please?"
“Because they know that as good as overcoming is skill in effacing recollection of being overcome, and turn their attention to that entirely.”
“Because they know that as important as overcoming challenges is the skill of forgetting the experience of being defeated, and they focus all their attention on that instead.”
“I am wrong again, of course.”
“I’m clearly wrong again.”
“Perhaps your wrong is more pleasing than their right.”
“Maybe your mistake is more appealing than their correctness.”
“I don’t quite know whether you mean that, or whether you are laughing at me,” she said, looking doubtingly at him, yet inclining to accept the more flattering interpretation. “I am almost sure you think it vanity in me to think I am a match for you. Well, if you do, I say that vanity is no crime in such a case.”
“I’m not sure if you really mean that, or if you’re just laughing at me,” she said, looking at him with doubt but leaning towards the more flattering interpretation. “I’m pretty sure you think it’s vanity for me to believe I’m a match for you. Well, if that’s the case, I’d say that vanity isn’t a crime in this situation.”
“Well, perhaps not. Though it is hardly a virtue.”
“Well, maybe not. But it’s definitely not a good thing.”
“Oh yes, in battle! Nelson’s bravery lay in his vanity.”
“Oh yes, in battle! Nelson’s courage came from his pride.”
“Indeed! Then so did his death.”
“Sure! Then so did his death.”
Oh no, no! For it is written in the book of the prophet Shakespeare—
Oh no, no! Because it’s written in the book of the prophet Shakespeare—
‘Fear and be slain? no worse can come to fight;
And fight and die, is death destroying death!’
‘Fear and be killed? Nothing worse can happen than to fight;
And to fight and die is death defeating death!’
And down they sat, and the contest began, Elfride having the first move. The game progressed. Elfride’s heart beat so violently that she could not sit still. Her dread was lest he should hear it. And he did discover it at last—some flowers upon the table being set throbbing by its pulsations.
And they sat down, and the contest started, with Elfride going first. The game went on. Elfride’s heart raced so wildly that she couldn’t sit still. She was afraid he would hear it. And eventually, he did notice—some flowers on the table were shaking from its vibrations.
“I think we had better give over,” said Knight, looking at her gently. “It is too much for you, I know. Let us write down the position, and finish another time.”
“I think we should stop,” said Knight, looking at her kindly. “It’s too much for you, I know. Let’s note down the position and finish another time.”
“No, please not,” she implored. “I should not rest if I did not know the result at once. It is your move.”
“No, please don’t,” she pleaded. “I wouldn’t be able to relax if I didn’t know the outcome right away. It’s your turn.”
Ten minutes passed.
Ten minutes went by.
She started up suddenly. “I know what you are doing?” she cried, an angry colour upon her cheeks, and her eyes indignant. “You were thinking of letting me win to please me!”
She jumped up suddenly. “I know what you're doing!” she yelled, her cheeks flushed with anger and her eyes furious. “You were planning to let me win to make me happy!”
“I don’t mind owning that I was,” Knight responded phlegmatically, and appearing all the more so by contrast with her own turmoil.
“I don’t mind admitting that I was,” Knight replied calmly, which made her own turmoil seem even more pronounced.
“But you must not! I won’t have it.”
“But you can't! I won't allow it.”
“Very well.”
“Alright.”
“No, that will not do; I insist that you promise not to do any such absurd thing. It is insulting me!”
“No, that’s not okay; I insist you promise not to do something so ridiculous. It's offensive to me!”
“Very well, madam. I won’t do any such absurd thing. You shall not win.”
“Alright, ma’am. I won’t do anything so ridiculous. You won’t win.”
“That is to be proved!” she returned proudly; and the play went on.
“That needs to be proven!” she replied proudly; and the play continued.
Nothing is now heard but the ticking of a quaint old timepiece on the summit of a bookcase. Ten minutes pass; he captures her knight; she takes his knight, and looks a very Rhadamanthus.
Nothing can be heard now except the ticking of an old-fashioned clock on top of a bookcase. Ten minutes go by; he captures her knight; she takes his knight and looks quite formidable.
More minutes tick away; she takes his pawn and has the advantage, showing her sense of it rather prominently.
More minutes pass; she captures his pawn and gains the upper hand, making her skill quite obvious.
Five minutes more: he takes her bishop: she brings things even by taking his knight.
Five more minutes: he captures her bishop: she evens things up by taking his knight.
Three minutes: she looks bold, and takes his queen: he looks placid, and takes hers.
Three minutes: she appears confident and captures his queen; he stays calm and takes hers.
Eight or ten minutes pass: he takes a pawn; she utters a little pooh! but not the ghost of a pawn can she take in retaliation.
Eight or ten minutes go by: he takes a pawn; she exclaims a little "pooh!" but there's not a single pawn she can capture in response.
Ten minutes pass: he takes another pawn and says, “Check!” She flushes, extricates herself by capturing his bishop, and looks triumphant. He immediately takes her bishop: she looks surprised.
Ten minutes go by: he takes another pawn and says, “Check!” She blushes, manages to capture his bishop, and looks victorious. He quickly takes her bishop: she looks shocked.
Five minutes longer: she makes a dash and takes his only remaining bishop; he replies by taking her only remaining knight.
Five more minutes: she rushes in and captures his last bishop; he responds by taking her last knight.
Two minutes: he gives check; her mind is now in a painful state of tension, and she shades her face with her hand.
Two minutes: he checks the time; her mind is now filled with painful tension, and she shields her face with her hand.
Yet a few minutes more: he takes her rook and checks again. She literally trembles now lest an artful surprise she has in store for him shall be anticipated by the artful surprise he evidently has in store for her.
Yet a few more minutes: he captures her rook and checks again. She is literally trembling now, worried that the clever surprise she has planned for him will be predicted by the clever surprise he clearly has in mind for her.
Five minutes: “Checkmate in two moves!” exclaims Elfride.
Five minutes: “Checkmate in two moves!” Elfride exclaims.
“If you can,” says Knight.
“If you can,” says Knight.
“Oh, I have miscalculated; that is cruel!”
“Oh, I messed up; that's harsh!”
“Checkmate,” says Knight; and the victory is won.
“Checkmate,” says Knight; and the win is secured.
Elfride arose and turned away without letting him see her face. Once in the hall she ran upstairs and into her room, and flung herself down upon her bed, weeping bitterly.
Elfride got up and turned away without letting him see her face. Once in the hall, she ran upstairs and into her room, then threw herself down on her bed, crying hard.
“Where is Elfride?” said her father at luncheon.
“Where's Elfride?” her father asked at lunch.
Knight listened anxiously for the answer. He had been hoping to see her again before this time.
Knight listened nervously for the answer. He had been hoping to see her again before now.
“She isn’t well, sir,” was the reply.
“She’s not well, sir,” was the reply.
Mrs. Swancourt rose and left the room, going upstairs to Elfride’s apartment.
Mrs. Swancourt stood up and left the room, heading upstairs to Elfride’s room.
At the door was Unity, who occupied in the new establishment a position between young lady’s maid and middle-housemaid.
At the door was Unity, who held a position in the new establishment that was between a young lady’s maid and a middle-housemaid.
“She is sound asleep, ma’am,” Unity whispered.
"She's sound asleep, ma'am," Unity whispered.
Mrs. Swancourt opened the door. Elfride was lying full-dressed on the bed, her face hot and red, her arms thrown abroad. At intervals of a minute she tossed restlessly from side to side, and indistinctly moaned words used in the game of chess.
Mrs. Swancourt opened the door. Elfride was lying fully dressed on the bed, her face hot and red, her arms thrown wide. Every minute or so, she tossed restlessly from side to side and vaguely moaned words related to the game of chess.
Mrs. Swancourt had a turn for doctoring, and felt her pulse. It was twanging like a harp-string, at the rate of nearly a hundred and fifty a minute. Softly moving the sleeping girl to a little less cramped position, she went downstairs again.
Mrs. Swancourt had a knack for medicine and checked her pulse. It was beating rapidly, like a harp string, at almost a hundred and fifty beats per minute. Gently adjusting the sleeping girl to a more comfortable position, she went back downstairs.
“She is asleep now,” said Mrs. Swancourt. “She does not seem very well. Cousin Knight, what were you thinking of? her tender brain won’t bear cudgelling like your great head. You should have strictly forbidden her to play again.”
“She’s asleep now,” Mrs. Swancourt said. “She doesn’t seem very well. Cousin Knight, what were you thinking? Her delicate mind can’t handle the stress like your big head can. You should have strictly told her not to play again.”
In truth, the essayist’s experience of the nature of young women was far less extensive than his abstract knowledge of them led himself and others to believe. He could pack them into sentences like a workman, but practically was nowhere.
In reality, the essayist’s experience with young women was much less extensive than the abstract knowledge he and others thought he had. He could describe them in sentences like a skilled worker, but in practice, he was completely out of his depth.
“I am indeed sorry,” said Knight, feeling even more than he expressed. “But surely, the young lady knows best what is good for her!”
“I’m truly sorry,” said Knight, feeling even more than he showed. “But surely, the young lady knows what’s best for her!”
“Bless you, that’s just what she doesn’t know. She never thinks of such things, does she, Christopher? Her father and I have to command her and keep her in order, as you would a child. She will say things worthy of a French epigrammatist, and act like a robin in a greenhouse. But I think we will send for Dr. Granson—there can be no harm.”
“Bless you, that’s exactly what she doesn’t realize. She never considers things like that, does she, Christopher? Her father and I have to manage her and keep her in line, like you would with a kid. She’ll say things worthy of a French wit and act like a robin in a greenhouse. But I think we should call Dr. Granson—there’s no harm in that.”
A man was straightway despatched on horseback to Castle Boterel, and the gentleman known as Dr. Granson came in the course of the afternoon. He pronounced her nervous system to be in a decided state of disorder; forwarded some soothing draught, and gave orders that on no account whatever was she to play chess again.
A man was immediately sent on horseback to Castle Boterel, and the gentleman known as Dr. Granson arrived in the afternoon. He diagnosed her nervous system as being clearly out of balance; he prescribed some calming medicine and instructed that under no circumstances was she to play chess again.
The next morning Knight, much vexed with himself, waited with a curiously compounded feeling for her entry to breakfast. The women servants came in to prayers at irregular intervals, and as each entered, he could not, to save his life, avoid turning his head with the hope that she might be Elfride. Mr. Swancourt began reading without waiting for her. Then somebody glided in noiselessly; Knight softly glanced up: it was only the little kitchen-maid. Knight thought reading prayers a bore.
The next morning, Knight, feeling quite annoyed with himself, waited with a mix of emotions for her to come in for breakfast. The women servants came in for prayers at random times, and each time someone entered, he couldn't help but turn his head, hoping it would be Elfride. Mr. Swancourt started reading without waiting for her. Then someone slipped in quietly; Knight looked up softly: it was just the little kitchen maid. Knight thought that reading prayers was boring.
He went out alone, and for almost the first time failed to recognize that holding converse with Nature’s charms was not solitude. On nearing the house again he perceived his young friend crossing a slope by a path which ran into the one he was following in the angle of the field. Here they met. Elfride was at once exultant and abashed: coming into his presence had upon her the effect of entering a cathedral.
He went out by himself, and for almost the first time, he didn’t realize that talking to the beauty of nature wasn't the same as being alone. As he got closer to the house again, he saw his young friend walking up a slope on a path that joined the one he was on at the edge of the field. They met there. Elfride felt both excited and shy; being around him felt like walking into a cathedral.
Knight had his note-book in his hand, and had, in fact, been in the very act of writing therein when they came in view of each other. He left off in the midst of a sentence, and proceeded to inquire warmly concerning her state of health. She said she was perfectly well, and indeed had never looked better. Her health was as inconsequent as her actions. Her lips were red, WITHOUT the polish that cherries have, and their redness margined with the white skin in a clearly defined line, which had nothing of jagged confusion in it. Altogether she stood as the last person in the world to be knocked over by a game of chess, because too ephemeral-looking to play one.
Knight had his notebook in his hand and had actually been in the middle of writing when they spotted each other. He stopped mid-sentence and asked her how she was doing. She said she was perfectly fine and honestly had never looked better. Her health was as unpredictable as her actions. Her lips were red, without the shine that cherries have, and their redness was framed by the white skin in a clean, defined line that was far from jagged. Overall, she appeared to be the last person in the world who could be affected by a game of chess, seeming too delicate to play one.
“Are you taking notes?” she inquired with an alacrity plainly arising less from interest in the subject than from a wish to divert his thoughts from herself.
“Are you taking notes?” she asked, clearly more eager to distract him from thinking about her than genuinely interested in the topic.
“Yes; I was making an entry. And with your permission I will complete it.” Knight then stood still and wrote. Elfride remained beside him a moment, and afterwards walked on.
“Yes; I was writing something down. With your permission, I’ll finish it.” Knight then stood still and wrote. Elfride stayed beside him for a moment, and then continued on.
“I should like to see all the secrets that are in that book,” she gaily flung back to him over her shoulder.
“I want to see all the secrets in that book,” she cheerfully called back to him over her shoulder.
“I don’t think you would find much to interest you.”
“I don’t think you would find much that interests you.”
“I know I should.”
"I know I ought to."
“Then of course I have no more to say.”
“Then, of course, I have nothing more to say.”
“But I would ask this question first. Is it a book of mere facts concerning journeys and expenditure, and so on, or a book of thoughts?”
“But I want to ask this first: Is it just a book of facts about journeys and spending, or is it a book of ideas?”
“Well, to tell the truth, it is not exactly either. It consists for the most part of jottings for articles and essays, disjointed and disconnected, of no possible interest to anybody but myself.”
"Well, to be honest, it’s not really either. It mostly consists of notes for articles and essays, scattered and random, of no real interest to anyone but me."
“It contains, I suppose, your developed thoughts in embryo?”
“It contains, I guess, your fully formed ideas in their early stages?”
“Yes.”
"Yes."
“If they are interesting when enlarged to the size of an article, what must they be in their concentrated form? Pure rectified spirit, above proof; before it is lowered to be fit for human consumption: ‘words that burn’ indeed.”
“If they are interesting when blown up to the size of an article, how captivating must they be in their purest form? Unadulterated spirits, uncut; before being diluted to make them suitable for people: ‘words that burn’ indeed.”
“Rather like a balloon before it is inflated: flabby, shapeless, dead. You could hardly read them.”
“Just like a deflated balloon: soft, misshapen, lifeless. It was hard to read them.”
“May I try?” she said coaxingly. “I wrote my poor romance in that way—I mean in bits, out of doors—and I should like to see whether your way of entering things is the same as mine.”
“Can I give it a shot?” she said encouragingly. “I wrote my unfortunate love story like that—I mean in pieces, outside—and I’d like to see if your approach is the same as mine.”
“Really, that’s rather an awkward request. I suppose I can hardly refuse now you have asked so directly; but——”
“Honestly, that’s kind of an awkward request. I guess I can’t really say no now that you’ve asked so directly; but——”
“You think me ill-mannered in asking. But does not this justify me—your writing in my presence, Mr. Knight? If I had lighted upon your book by chance, it would have been different; but you stand before me, and say, ‘Excuse me,’ without caring whether I do or not, and write on, and then tell me they are not private facts but public ideas.”
“You think I'm rude for asking. But doesn’t this justify me—your writing in front of me, Mr. Knight? If I had stumbled upon your book by chance, it would be different; but you’re right here, saying, ‘Excuse me,’ without caring if I mind or not, and continue writing, then tell me it’s not private information but public ideas.”
“Very well, Miss Swancourt. If you really must see, the consequences be upon your own head. Remember, my advice to you is to leave my book alone.”
“Alright, Miss Swancourt. If you really have to look, the consequences are on you. Just remember, I advise you to stay away from my book.”
“But with that caution I have your permission?”
“But with that caution, do I have your permission?”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
She hesitated a moment, looked at his hand containing the book, then laughed, and saying, “I must see it,” withdrew it from his fingers.
She paused for a moment, glanced at his hand holding the book, then laughed and said, “I have to see it,” as she took it from his fingers.
Knight rambled on towards the house, leaving her standing in the path turning over the leaves. By the time he had reached the wicket-gate he saw that she had moved, and waited till she came up.
Knight wandered toward the house, leaving her standing in the path, flipping through the leaves. By the time he got to the little gate, he noticed she had moved and waited for her to catch up.
Elfride had closed the note-book, and was carrying it disdainfully by the corner between her finger and thumb; her face wore a nettled look. She silently extended the volume towards him, raising her eyes no higher than her hand was lifted.
Elfride had closed the notebook and was holding it dismissively by the corner between her finger and thumb; her face had an annoyed expression. She silently extended the book towards him, raising her eyes no higher than her hand was lifted.
“Take it,” said Elfride quickly. “I don’t want to read it.”
“Take it,” Elfride said quickly. “I don’t want to read it.”
“Could you understand it?” said Knight.
"Did you understand it?" Knight said.
“As far as I looked. But I didn’t care to read much.”
“As far as I could see. But I wasn’t really into reading a lot.”
“Why, Miss Swancourt?”
"Why, Miss Swancourt?"
“Only because I didn’t wish to—that’s all.”
“Just because I didn’t want to—that’s it.”
“I warned you that you might not.”
“I warned you that you might not.”
“Yes, but I never supposed you would have put me there.”
“Yes, but I never thought you would have put me there.”
“Your name is not mentioned once within the four corners.”
“Your name isn’t mentioned at all within these pages.”
“Not my name—I know that.”
“Not my name—I get it.”
“Nor your description, nor anything by which anybody would recognize you.”
“Neither your description nor anything else that would make anyone recognize you.”
“Except myself. For what is this?” she exclaimed, taking it from him and opening a page. “August 7. That’s the day before yesterday. But I won’t read it,” Elfride said, closing the book again with pretty hauteur. “Why should I? I had no business to ask to see your book, and it serves me right.”
“Except for me. What is this?” she exclaimed, taking it from him and opening a page. “August 7. That was the day before yesterday. But I won’t read it,” Elfride said, closing the book again with a touch of arrogance. “Why should I? I had no right to ask to see your book, and I deserve this.”
Knight hardly recollected what he had written, and turned over the book to see. He came to this:
Knight barely remembered what he had written, so he flipped through the book to check. He found this:
“Aug. 7. Girl gets into her teens, and her self-consciousness is born. After a certain interval passed in infantine helplessness it begins to act. Simple, young, and inexperienced at first. Persons of observation can tell to a nicety how old this consciousness is by the skill it has acquired in the art necessary to its success—the art of hiding itself. Generally begins career by actions which are popularly termed showing-off. Method adopted depends in each case upon the disposition, rank, residence, of the young lady attempting it. Town-bred girl will utter some moral paradox on fast men, or love. Country miss adopts the more material media of taking a ghastly fence, whistling, or making your blood run cold by appearing to risk her neck. (MEM. On Endelstow Tower.)
“Aug. 7. The girl enters her teenage years, and her self-consciousness begins to develop. After a period of infantile helplessness, it starts to take shape. Initially simple, young, and inexperienced. Observant people can accurately gauge how old this sense of self is by the skill it has developed in the art of concealment. Typically, it begins with behaviors commonly called showing off. The method used varies depending on the personality, social status, and location of the young woman. A city girl might express some moral insight about fast men or love, while a country girl resorts to more tangible means like taking a frightening jump, whistling, or scaring others by seeming to endanger herself. (MEM. On Endelstow Tower.)”
“An innocent vanity is of course the origin of these displays. ‘Look at me,’ say these youthful beginners in womanly artifice, without reflecting whether or not it be to their advantage to show so very much of themselves. (Amplify and correct for paper on Artless Arts.)”
“Of course, a harmless vanity is the reason behind these displays. ‘Look at me,’ say these young women experimenting with their looks, without considering whether it’s actually beneficial for them to reveal so much of themselves. (Amplify and correct for paper on Artless Arts.)”
“Yes, I remember now,” said Knight. “The notes were certainly suggested by your manoeuvre on the church tower. But you must not think too much of such random observations,” he continued encouragingly, as he noticed her injured looks. “A mere fancy passing through my head assumes a factitious importance to you, because it has been made permanent by being written down. All mankind think thoughts as bad as those of people they most love on earth, but such thoughts never getting embodied on paper, it becomes assumed that they never existed. I daresay that you yourself have thought some disagreeable thing or other of me, which would seem just as bad as this if written. I challenge you, now, to tell me.”
“Yes, I remember now,” said Knight. “The notes were definitely inspired by your move on the church tower. But don’t read too much into those random observations,” he added encouragingly, noticing her hurt expression. “A simple thought that crosses my mind seems much more significant to you because it’s been written down. Everyone has thoughts just as negative as those about their closest loved ones, but since those thoughts never make it onto paper, it’s assumed they never existed. I bet you've thought something unpleasant about me at some point, and it would seem just as bad if it were written down. I challenge you to tell me what it is.”
“The worst thing I have thought of you?”
“The worst thing I've thought about you?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“I must not.”
"I can't."
“Oh yes.”
"Absolutely."
“I thought you were rather round-shouldered.”
“I thought you had a bit of a stoop.”
Knight looked slightly redder.
Knight looked a bit redder.
“And that there was a little bald spot on the top of your head.”
“And that there was a small bald spot on the top of your head.”
“Heh-heh! Two ineradicable defects,” said Knight, there being a faint ghastliness discernible in his laugh. “They are much worse in a lady’s eye than being thought self-conscious, I suppose.”
“Heh-heh! Two unchangeable flaws,” said Knight, a faint creepiness evident in his laugh. “They’re far worse in a woman’s eyes than being seen as self-conscious, I guess.”
“Ah, that’s very fine,” she said, too inexperienced to perceive her hit, and hence not quite disposed to forgive his notes. “You alluded to me in that entry as if I were such a child, too. Everybody does that. I cannot understand it. I am quite a woman, you know. How old do you think I am?”
“Ah, that’s really great,” she said, too inexperienced to notice her jab, so she wasn’t quite willing to overlook his comments. “You referred to me in that entry as if I were such a child, too. Everyone does that. I don’t get it. I’m definitely a woman, you know. How old do you think I am?”
“How old? Why, seventeen, I should say. All girls are seventeen.”
“How old? I’d say seventeen. All girls are seventeen.”
“You are wrong. I am nearly nineteen. Which class of women do you like best, those who seem younger, or those who seem older than they are?”
“You're mistaken. I'm almost nineteen. Which type of women do you prefer, the ones who look younger, or the ones who look older than their age?”
“Off-hand I should be inclined to say those who seem older.”
“Just off the top of my head, I’d say the ones who look older.”
So it was not Elfride’s class.
So it wasn't Elfride's crew.
“But it is well known,” she said eagerly, and there was something touching in the artless anxiety to be thought much of which she revealed by her words, “that the slower a nature is to develop, the richer the nature. Youths and girls who are men and women before they come of age are nobodies by the time that backward people have shown their full compass.”
“But it's well known,” she said eagerly, revealing her genuine desire to be taken seriously, “that the slower a person is to grow, the richer their character. Young men and women who act like adults before they reach maturity often fade into obscurity by the time those who are more reserved fully reveal their potential.”
“Yes,” said Knight thoughtfully. “There is really something in that remark. But at the risk of offence I must remind you that you there take it for granted that the woman behind her time at a given age has not reached the end of her tether. Her backwardness may be not because she is slow to develop, but because she soon exhausted her capacity for developing.”
“Yes,” said Knight thoughtfully. “There's really something to that remark. But, to avoid causing any offense, I have to point out that you seem to assume that a woman who lags behind at a certain age hasn’t reached her limit. Her lack of progress might not be due to being slow to develop, but rather because she quickly ran out of her ability to grow.”
Elfride looked disappointed. By this time they were indoors. Mrs. Swancourt, to whom match-making by any honest means was meat and drink, had now a little scheme of that nature concerning this pair. The morning-room, in which they both expected to find her, was empty; the old lady having, for the above reason, vacated it by the second door as they entered by the first.
Elfride looked let down. By now, they were inside. Mrs. Swancourt, who thrived on honest matchmaking, had a little plan in mind for this couple. The morning room, where they both thought she would be, was empty; the old lady had left through a second door just as they came in through the first.
Knight went to the chimney-piece, and carelessly surveyed two portraits on ivory.
Knight walked over to the fireplace and casually looked at two portraits on ivory.
“Though these pink ladies had very rudimentary features, judging by what I see here,” he observed, “they had unquestionably beautiful heads of hair.”
“Even though these pink ladies had pretty basic features, by what I see here,” he noted, “they definitely had gorgeous hair.”
“Yes; and that is everything,” said Elfride, possibly conscious of her own, possibly not.
“Yes; and that’s all that matters,” said Elfride, aware of her own feelings, or maybe not.
“Not everything; though a great deal, certainly.”
“Not everything; but quite a bit, for sure.”
“Which colour do you like best?” she ventured to ask.
“Which color do you like the most?” she daringly asked.
“More depends on its abundance than on its colour.”
“More relies on its quantity than on its color.”
“Abundances being equal, may I inquire your favourite colour?”
“Assuming everything else is the same, can I ask your favorite color?”
“Dark.”
“Dark.”
“I mean for women,” she said, with the minutest fall of countenance, and a hope that she had been misunderstood.
“I mean for women,” she said, with a slight change in her expression, hoping she had been misunderstood.
“So do I,” Knight replied.
“So do I,” Knight said.
It was impossible for any man not to know the colour of Elfride’s hair. In women who wear it plainly such a feature may be overlooked by men not given to ocular intentness. But hers was always in the way. You saw her hair as far as you could see her sex, and knew that it was the palest brown. She knew instantly that Knight, being perfectly aware of this, had an independent standard of admiration in the matter.
It was impossible for anyone not to know the color of Elfride’s hair. In women who wear it simply, such a trait may be overlooked by men who aren't paying close attention. But her hair was always in plain sight. You noticed her hair as soon as you saw her, and you knew it was the lightest shade of brown. She instantly realized that Knight, fully aware of this, had his own unique standard of admiration when it came to her looks.
Elfride was thoroughly vexed. She could not but be struck with the honesty of his opinions, and the worst of it was, that the more they went against her, the more she respected them. And now, like a reckless gambler, she hazarded her last and best treasure. Her eyes: they were her all now.
Elfride was completely frustrated. She couldn't help but be impressed by the honesty of his opinions, and the worst part was that the more they opposed her, the more she admired them. And now, like a reckless gambler, she bet her last and greatest treasure. Her eyes: they were everything to her now.
“What coloured eyes do you like best, Mr. Knight?” she said slowly.
“What color eyes do you like best, Mr. Knight?” she said slowly.
“Honestly, or as a compliment?”
“Honestly, or is that a compliment?”
“Of course honestly; I don’t want anybody’s compliment!”
“Of course, honestly; I don’t want anyone’s compliment!”
And yet Elfride knew otherwise: that a compliment or word of approval from that man then would have been like a well to a famished Arab.
And yet Elfride knew differently: that a compliment or word of approval from that man at that moment would have been like water to a starving Arab.
“I prefer hazel,” he said serenely.
“I prefer hazel,” he said calmly.
She had played and lost again.
She had played and lost again.
Chapter XIX
“Love was in the next degree.”
“Love was at a higher level.”
Knight had none of those light familiarities of speech which, by judicious touches of epigrammatic flattery, obliterate a woman’s recollection of the speaker’s abstract opinions. So no more was said by either on the subject of hair, eyes, or development. Elfride’s mind had been impregnated with sentiments of her own smallness to an uncomfortable degree of distinctness, and her discomfort was visible in her face. The whole tendency of the conversation latterly had been to quietly but surely disparage her; and she was fain to take Stephen into favour in self-defence. He would not have been so unloving, she said, as to admire an idiosyncrasy and features different from her own. True, Stephen had declared he loved her: Mr. Knight had never done anything of the sort. Somehow this did not mend matters, and the sensation of her smallness in Knight’s eyes still remained. Had the position been reversed—had Stephen loved her in spite of a differing taste, and had Knight been indifferent in spite of her resemblance to his ideal, it would have engendered far happier thoughts. As matters stood, Stephen’s admiration might have its root in a blindness the result of passion. Perhaps any keen man’s judgment was condemnatory of her.
Knight didn’t have the easy, familiar way of speaking that could flatter a woman enough to make her forget about the speaker’s true opinions. So neither of them mentioned hair, eyes, or features again. Elfride felt more aware than ever of her own shortcomings, and her discomfort showed on her face. The whole direction of their recent conversation had subtly but surely put her down, and she felt the need to win Stephen's approval as a way to defend herself. She thought Stephen wouldn’t be so unloving as to admire qualities in someone that were different from her own. True, Stephen had said he loved her; Mr. Knight had never said anything like that. Somehow, this didn’t help her feel any better, and she continued to feel small in Knight’s eyes. If things had been the other way around—if Stephen had loved her despite having different tastes, and if Knight had been indifferent because she resembled his ideal—it would have led to much happier feelings. As it was, Stephen’s admiration might just come from a passion-blinded view. Maybe any sharp-minded person would criticize her.
During the remainder of Saturday they were more or less thrown with their seniors, and no conversation arose which was exclusively their own. When Elfride was in bed that night her thoughts recurred to the same subject. At one moment she insisted that it was ill-natured of him to speak so decisively as he had done; the next, that it was sterling honesty.
During the rest of Saturday, they were mostly with their seniors, and no conversation happened that was just for them. When Elfride went to bed that night, her thoughts turned back to the same topic. At one moment, she thought it was mean of him to speak so firmly; the next, she believed it was true honesty.
“Ah, what a poor nobody I am!” she said, sighing. “People like him, who go about the great world, don’t care in the least what I am like either in mood or feature.”
“Ah, what a sad nobody I am!” she said, sighing. “People like him, who roam around the big world, don’t care at all what I’m like in either attitude or looks.”
Perhaps a man who has got thoroughly into a woman’s mind in this manner, is half way to her heart; the distance between those two stations is proverbially short.
Perhaps a man who has deeply understood a woman’s thoughts in this way is halfway to her heart; the distance between those two places is famously short.
“And are you really going away this week?” said Mrs. Swancourt to Knight on the following evening, which was Sunday.
“And are you really leaving this week?” Mrs. Swancourt asked Knight the next evening, which was Sunday.
They were all leisurely climbing the hill to the church, where a last service was now to be held at the rather exceptional time of evening instead of in the afternoon, previous to the demolition of the ruinous portions.
They were all casually climbing the hill to the church, where a final service was now set to take place at the unusual time of evening instead of in the afternoon, before the dilapidated parts were torn down.
“I am intending to cross to Cork from Bristol,” returned Knight; “and then I go on to Dublin.”
“I plan to take a trip from Bristol to Cork,” Knight replied, “and then I'll head to Dublin.”
“Return this way, and stay a little longer with us,” said the vicar. “A week is nothing. We have hardly been able to realize your presence yet. I remember a story which——”
“Come back this way, and stay a bit longer with us,” said the vicar. “A week is nothing. We’ve barely had a chance to enjoy your company yet. I remember a story that——”
The vicar suddenly stopped. He had forgotten it was Sunday, and would probably have gone on in his week-day mode of thought had not a turn in the breeze blown the skirt of his college gown within the range of his vision, and so reminded him. He at once diverted the current of his narrative with the dexterity the occasion demanded.
The vicar suddenly stopped. He had forgotten it was Sunday and would probably have continued thinking in his weekday mindset if a gust of wind hadn't blown the hem of his college gown into his line of sight, reminding him. He quickly changed the direction of his story with the skill the moment required.
“The story of the Levite who journeyed to Bethlehem-judah, from which I took my text the Sunday before last, is quite to the point,” he continued, with the pronunciation of a man who, far from having intended to tell a week-day story a moment earlier, had thought of nothing but Sabbath matters for several weeks. “What did he gain after all by his restlessness? Had he remained in the city of the Jebusites, and not been so anxious for Gibeah, none of his troubles would have arisen.”
“The story of the Levite who traveled to Bethlehem-judah, from which I drew my text the Sunday before last, is very relevant,” he continued, speaking like someone who, far from planning to tell a weekday story just moments ago, had focused solely on Sabbath issues for weeks. “What did he really gain from all his restlessness? If he had stayed in the city of the Jebusites and not been so eager for Gibeah, none of his troubles would have happened.”
“But he had wasted five days already,” said Knight, closing his eyes to the vicar’s commendable diversion. “His fault lay in beginning the tarrying system originally.”
“But he had already wasted five days,” said Knight, shutting his eyes to the vicar’s praiseworthy distraction. “His mistake was starting the waiting system in the first place.”
“True, true; my illustration fails.”
"Yeah, my example doesn't work."
“But not the hospitality which prompted the story.”
“But not the hospitality that inspired the story.”
“So you are to come just the same,” urged Mrs. Swancourt, for she had seen an almost imperceptible fall of countenance in her stepdaughter at Knight’s announcement.
“So you are still coming,” urged Mrs. Swancourt, as she had noticed a slight change in her stepdaughter's expression at Knight’s announcement.
Knight half promised to call on his return journey; but the uncertainty with which he spoke was quite enough to fill Elfride with a regretful interest in all he did during the few remaining hours. The curate having already officiated twice that day in the two churches, Mr. Swancourt had undertaken the whole of the evening service, and Knight read the lessons for him. The sun streamed across from the dilapidated west window, and lighted all the assembled worshippers with a golden glow, Knight as he read being illuminated by the same mellow lustre. Elfride at the organ regarded him with a throbbing sadness of mood which was fed by a sense of being far removed from his sphere. As he went deliberately through the chapter appointed—a portion of the history of Elijah—and ascended that magnificent climax of the wind, the earthquake, the fire, and the still small voice, his deep tones echoed past with such apparent disregard of her existence, that his presence inspired her with a forlorn sense of unapproachableness, which his absence would hardly have been able to cause.
Knight sort of promised to visit on his way back; but the way he said it made Elfride feel a wave of regretful curiosity about everything he did in the few hours left. The curate had already led services in two churches that day, so Mr. Swancourt took care of the entire evening service, with Knight reading the lessons for him. The sun poured in through the broken west window, bathing all the gathered worshippers in a golden light, with Knight reading and illuminated by the same warm glow. Elfride, sitting at the organ, watched him with a heavy sadness, feeling distant from his world. As he carefully read through the assigned chapter—a part of the story of Elijah—and reached the powerful moment of the wind, the earthquake, the fire, and the still small voice, his deep voice echoed past her as if he didn’t even notice her presence, filling her with a deep sense of isolation that his absence wouldn’t have created.
At the same time, turning her face for a moment to catch the glory of the dying sun as it fell on his form, her eyes were arrested by the shape and aspect of a woman in the west gallery. It was the bleak barren countenance of the widow Jethway, whom Elfride had not seen much of since the morning of her return with Stephen Smith. Possessing the smallest of competencies, this unhappy woman appeared to spend her life in journeyings between Endelstow Churchyard and that of a village near Southampton, where her father and mother were laid.
At the same time, she turned her face for a moment to soak in the beauty of the setting sun as it lit up his figure, but her gaze was caught by the profile of a woman in the west gallery. It was the cold, desolate face of widow Jethway, a woman Elfride hadn’t seen much since she returned with Stephen Smith. With very little to her name, this sorrowful woman seemed to spend her life traveling between Endelstow Churchyard and a village near Southampton, where her parents were buried.
She had not attended the service here for a considerable time, and she now seemed to have a reason for her choice of seat. From the gallery window the tomb of her son was plainly visible—standing as the nearest object in a prospect which was closed outwardly by the changeless horizon of the sea.
She hadn't been to the service here for quite a while, and now she appeared to have a reason for where she sat. From the gallery window, her son's tomb was clearly visible—standing as the closest thing in a view that was otherwise bounded by the endless horizon of the sea.
The streaming rays, too, flooded her face, now bent towards Elfride with a hard and bitter expression that the solemnity of the place raised to a tragic dignity it did not intrinsically possess. The girl resumed her normal attitude with an added disquiet.
The streaming rays also poured over her face, which was now turned toward Elfride with a harsh and bitter expression that the seriousness of the setting elevated to a tragic dignity it didn’t naturally have. The girl went back to her usual posture but with added unease.
Elfride’s emotion was cumulative, and after a while would assert itself on a sudden. A slight touch was enough to set it free—a poem, a sunset, a cunningly contrived chord of music, a vague imagining, being the usual accidents of its exhibition. The longing for Knight’s respect, which was leading up to an incipient yearning for his love, made the present conjuncture a sufficient one. Whilst kneeling down previous to leaving, when the sunny streaks had gone upward to the roof, and the lower part of the church was in soft shadow, she could not help thinking of Coleridge’s morbid poem “The Three Graves,” and shuddering as she wondered if Mrs. Jethway were cursing her, she wept as if her heart would break.
Elfride’s emotions built up over time and would suddenly erupt. A light touch was all it took to release them—like a poem, a sunset, a cleverly composed piece of music, or a vague thought—these were the usual triggers for their expression. Her desire for Knight’s respect, which was starting to turn into a longing for his love, made the current situation feel significant. While kneeling down before leaving, as the sunlight faded away and the lower part of the church was softly shadowed, she couldn’t help but think of Coleridge’s unsettling poem “The Three Graves.” Wondering if Mrs. Jethway was cursing her, she wept as if her heart would break.
They came out of church just as the sun went down, leaving the landscape like a platform from which an eloquent speaker has retired, and nothing remains for the audience to do but to rise and go home. Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt went off in the carriage, Knight and Elfride preferring to walk, as the skilful old matchmaker had imagined. They descended the hill together.
They left the church right as the sun was setting, making the scenery look like a stage after a great speaker had finished, leaving the audience with no choice but to get up and head home. Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt got into the carriage, while Knight and Elfride chose to walk, just as the clever old matchmaker had planned. They walked down the hill together.
“I liked your reading, Mr. Knight,” Elfride presently found herself saying. “You read better than papa.”
“I liked your reading, Mr. Knight,” Elfride found herself saying. “You read better than my dad.”
“I will praise anybody that will praise me. You played excellently, Miss Swancourt, and very correctly.”
“I’ll appreciate anyone who appreciates me. You did a fantastic job, Miss Swancourt, and you did it very well.”
“Correctly—yes.”
"That's correct—yes."
“It must be a great pleasure to you to take an active part in the service.”
"It must be a real pleasure for you to participate actively in the service."
“I want to be able to play with more feeling. But I have not a good selection of music, sacred or secular. I wish I had a nice little music-library—well chosen, and that the only new pieces sent me were those of genuine merit.”
“I want to be able to play with more emotion. But I don't have a good selection of music, sacred or secular. I wish I had a nice little music library—well curated—and that the only new pieces sent to me were those of real quality.”
“I am glad to hear such a wish from you. It is extraordinary how many women have no honest love of music as an end and not as a means, even leaving out those who have nothing in them. They mostly like it for its accessories. I have never met a woman who loves music as do ten or a dozen men I know.”
“I’m really happy to hear you say that. It’s amazing how many women don’t genuinely love music for its own sake, but rather for what it represents, not counting those who have no appreciation for it at all. Most of them are into it for the extras. I’ve never met a woman who loves music like the ten or so men I know.”
“How would you draw the line between women with something and women with nothing in them?”
“How do you differentiate between women who have something and women who have nothing to offer?”
“Well,” said Knight, reflecting a moment, “I mean by nothing in them those who don’t care about anything solid. This is an instance: I knew a man who had a young friend in whom he was much interested; in fact, they were going to be married. She was seemingly poetical, and he offered her a choice of two editions of the British poets, which she pretended to want badly. He said, ‘Which of them would you like best for me to send?’ She said, ‘A pair of the prettiest earrings in Bond Street, if you don’t mind, would be nicer than either.’ Now I call her a girl with not much in her but vanity; and so do you, I daresay.”
“Well,” said Knight, pausing for a moment, “when I say 'nothing in them,' I'm referring to those who don't care about anything substantial. Here’s an example: I knew a man who was really interested in a young friend of his; in fact, they were planning to get married. She seemed to have a poetic side, and he offered her a choice between two editions of the British poets, which she pretended to be eager for. He asked, ‘Which one would you prefer I send you?’ She replied, ‘A pair of the prettiest earrings from Bond Street, if you don't mind, would be nicer than either.’ To me, she’s just a girl full of vanity; and I bet you think the same.”
“Oh yes,” replied Elfride with an effort.
“Oh yes,” Elfride replied, trying hard.
Happening to catch a glimpse of her face as she was speaking, and noticing that her attempt at heartiness was a miserable failure, he appeared to have misgivings.
Happening to catch a glimpse of her face as she was speaking, and noticing that her attempt at being cheerful was a complete flop, he seemed to have doubts.
“You, Miss Swancourt, would not, under such circumstances, have preferred the nicknacks?”
“You, Miss Swancourt, wouldn’t have preferred the trinkets under those circumstances?”
“No, I don’t think I should, indeed,” she stammered.
“No, I really don’t think I should,” she stammered.
“I’ll put it to you,” said the inflexible Knight. “Which will you have of these two things of about equal value—the well-chosen little library of the best music you spoke of—bound in morocco, walnut case, lock and key—or a pair of the very prettiest earrings in Bond Street windows?”
“I’ll put it to you,” said the unyielding Knight. “Which would you prefer, these two things that are about equally valuable—the carefully selected little library of the best music you mentioned—bound in morocco, in a walnut case with a lock and key—or a pair of the loveliest earrings from the Bond Street windows?”
“Of course the music,” Elfride replied with forced earnestness.
“Of course, the music,” Elfride answered with a forced seriousness.
“You are quite certain?” he said emphatically.
“You're really sure about that?” he said emphatically.
“Quite,” she faltered; “if I could for certain buy the earrings afterwards.”
“Sure,” she hesitated; “if I could definitely buy the earrings later.”
Knight, somewhat blamably, keenly enjoyed sparring with the palpitating mobile creature, whose excitable nature made any such thing a species of cruelty.
Knight, somewhat faultily, really enjoyed sparring with the lively creature, whose excitable nature made it feel like a form of cruelty.
He looked at her rather oddly, and said, “Fie!”
He looked at her strangely and said, "Wow!"
“Forgive me,” she said, laughing a little, a little frightened, and blushing very deeply.
“Forgive me,” she said, laughing a bit, slightly scared, and blushing fiercely.
“Ah, Miss Elfie, why didn’t you say at first, as any firm woman would have said, I am as bad as she, and shall choose the same?”
“Ah, Miss Elfie, why didn’t you say from the start, like any strong woman would have done, that I’m just as bad as she is, and I’ll make the same choice?”
“I don’t know,” said Elfride wofully, and with a distressful smile.
“I don’t know,” Elfride said sadly, with a troubled smile.
“I thought you were exceptionally musical?”
“I thought you were really into music?”
“So I am, I think. But the test is so severe—quite painful.”
“So that's how I feel, I guess. But the test is really tough—pretty painful.”
“I don’t understand.”
"I don't get it."
“Music doesn’t do any real good, or rather——”
“Music doesn’t really do any good, or rather——”
“That IS a thing to say, Miss Swancourt! Why, what——”
“That’s something to say, Miss Swancourt! What in the world—”
“You don’t understand! you don’t understand!”
“You don’t get it! You really don’t get it!”
“Why, what conceivable use is there in jimcrack jewellery?”
“Why would anyone even want cheap jewelry?”
“No, no, no, no!” she cried petulantly; “I didn’t mean what you think. I like the music best, only I like——”
“No, no, no, no!” she said in frustration; “I didn’t mean what you think. I like the music the most, I just like——”
“Earrings better—own it!” he said in a teasing tone. “Well, I think I should have had the moral courage to own it at once, without pretending to an elevation I could not reach.”
“Earrings are better—just own it!” he said playfully. “Honestly, I should have had the guts to own it right away, without pretending to be something I couldn’t achieve.”
Like the French soldiery, Elfride was not brave when on the defensive. So it was almost with tears in her eyes that she answered desperately:
Like the French soldiers, Elfride wasn't brave when on the defensive. So, it was almost with tears in her eyes that she answered desperately:
“My meaning is, that I like earrings best just now, because I lost one of my prettiest pair last year, and papa said he would not buy any more, or allow me to myself, because I was careless; and now I wish I had some like them—that’s what my meaning is—indeed it is, Mr. Knight.”
“My point is that I really like earrings right now because I lost one of my prettiest pairs last year. Dad said he wouldn’t buy any more for me or let me get any myself because I’m careless. Now I wish I had some like those—that’s what I mean—really it is, Mr. Knight.”
“I am afraid I have been very harsh and rude,” said Knight, with a look of regret at seeing how disturbed she was. “But seriously, if women only knew how they ruin their good looks by such appurtenances, I am sure they would never want them.”
“I’m afraid I’ve been really harsh and rude,” said Knight, looking regretful at how upset she was. “But honestly, if women only knew how they ruin their looks with things like that, I’m sure they wouldn’t want them at all.”
“They were lovely, and became me so!”
“They were beautiful, and suited me so well!”
“Not if they were like the ordinary hideous things women stuff their ears with nowadays—like the governor of a steam-engine, or a pair of scales, or gold gibbets and chains, and artists’ palettes, and compensation pendulums, and Heaven knows what besides.”
“Not if they were like the usual ugly things women put in their ears these days—like the governor of a steam engine, or a scale, or gold shackles and chains, and artists’ palettes, and compensation pendulums, and who knows what else.”
“No; they were not one of those things. So pretty—like this,” she said with eager animation. And she drew with the point of her parasol an enlarged view of one of the lamented darlings, to a scale that would have suited a giantess half-a-mile high.
“No; they weren’t one of those things. So beautiful—like this,” she said with eager excitement. And she drew with the tip of her parasol a large version of one of the beloved things, to a scale that would have suited a giantess half a mile tall.
“Yes, very pretty—very,” said Knight dryly. “How did you come to lose such a precious pair of articles?”
“Yes, very pretty—very,” Knight said dryly. “How did you manage to lose such a valuable pair of items?”
“I only lost one—nobody ever loses both at the same time.”
“I only lost one—nobody ever loses both at once.”
She made this remark with embarrassment, and a nervous movement of the fingers. Seeing that the loss occurred whilst Stephen Smith was attempting to kiss her for the first time on the cliff, her confusion was hardly to be wondered at. The question had been awkward, and received no direct answer.
She said this with embarrassment and nervously fidgeted with her fingers. Given that the loss happened while Stephen Smith was trying to kiss her for the first time on the cliff, her confusion is understandable. The question was awkward and didn’t get a direct answer.
Knight seemed not to notice her manner.
Knight didn’t seem to notice how she was acting.
“Oh, nobody ever loses both—I see. And certainly the fact that it was a case of loss takes away all odour of vanity from your choice.”
“Oh, nobody ever loses both—I get it. And definitely the fact that it was a loss removes any hint of vanity from your choice.”
“As I never know whether you are in earnest, I don’t now,” she said, looking up inquiringly at the hairy face of the oracle. And coming gallantly to her own rescue, “If I really seem vain, it is that I am only vain in my ways—not in my heart. The worst women are those vain in their hearts, and not in their ways.”
“As I never know whether you’re serious, I don’t now,” she said, looking up curiously at the hairy face of the oracle. And, boldly coming to her own defense, “If I really seem vain, it’s because I’m only vain in my behavior—not in my heart. The worst women are those who are vain in their hearts, not in their behavior.”
“An adroit distinction. Well, they are certainly the more objectionable of the two,” said Knight.
“That's a clever distinction. Well, they are definitely the more objectionable of the two,” said Knight.
“Is vanity a mortal or a venial sin? You know what life is: tell me.”
“Is vanity a serious sin or just a minor one? You understand life: tell me.”
“I am very far from knowing what life is. A just conception of life is too large a thing to grasp during the short interval of passing through it.”
“I have no idea what life really is. Understanding life in its entirety is way too big of a concept to comprehend in the brief moment we spend experiencing it.”
“Will the fact of a woman being fond of jewellery be likely to make her life, in its higher sense, a failure?”
“Is a woman’s love for jewelry likely to make her life a failure, in a deeper sense?”
“Nobody’s life is altogether a failure.”
“Nobody’s life is completely a failure.”
“Well, you know what I mean, even though my words are badly selected and commonplace,” she said impatiently. “Because I utter commonplace words, you must not suppose I think only commonplace thoughts. My poor stock of words are like a limited number of rough moulds I have to cast all my materials in, good and bad; and the novelty or delicacy of the substance is often lost in the coarse triteness of the form.”
“Well, you know what I mean, even though my words are poorly chosen and ordinary,” she said impatiently. “Just because I use ordinary words doesn't mean I only think ordinary thoughts. My limited vocabulary is like a small set of rough molds I have to fit all my ideas into, whether they're good or bad; and often, the uniqueness or sensitivity of the idea gets lost in the clumsy usualness of the expression.”
“Very well; I’ll believe that ingenious representation. As to the subject in hand—lives which are failures—you need not trouble yourself. Anybody’s life may be just as romantic and strange and interesting if he or she fails as if he or she succeed. All the difference is, that the last chapter is wanting in the story. If a man of power tries to do a great deed, and just falls short of it by an accident not his fault, up to that time his history had as much in it as that of a great man who has done his great deed. It is whimsical of the world to hold that particulars of how a lad went to school and so on should be as an interesting romance or as nothing to them, precisely in proportion to his after renown.”
“Alright; I’ll go along with that clever idea. Regarding the topic at hand—lives that are failures—you don’t need to worry. Anyone’s life can be just as romantic, strange, and interesting if they fail as if they succeed. The only difference is that the last chapter is missing from the story. If a powerful person attempts a great act and just misses it due to an accident that isn’t their fault, up until that point, their story is just as rich as that of a great person who has accomplished their great act. It's odd how the world thinks the details of how a boy went to school and such are either fascinating tales or completely irrelevant, depending on his later fame.”
They were walking between the sunset and the moonrise. With the dropping of the sun a nearly full moon had begun to raise itself. Their shadows, as cast by the western glare, showed signs of becoming obliterated in the interest of a rival pair in the opposite direction which the moon was bringing to distinctness.
They were walking between sunset and moonrise. As the sun set, a nearly full moon started to rise. Their shadows, highlighted by the fading sunlight, were beginning to fade in comparison to a rival pair of shadows that the moon was bringing into focus on the other side.
“I consider my life to some extent a failure,” said Knight again after a pause, during which he had noticed the antagonistic shadows.
“I think of my life as somewhat of a failure,” Knight said again after a pause, during which he noticed the opposing shadows.
“You! How?”
“You! How did you do that?”
“I don’t precisely know. But in some way I have missed the mark.”
“I’m not exactly sure. But somehow I’ve missed the point.”
“Really? To have done it is not much to be sad about, but to feel that you have done it must be a cause of sorrow. Am I right?”
“Really? Actually doing it isn’t something to be that sad about, but feeling like you’ve done it must be a reason for sorrow. Am I right?”
“Partly, though not quite. For a sensation of being profoundly experienced serves as a sort of consolation to people who are conscious of having taken wrong turnings. Contradictory as it seems, there is nothing truer than that people who have always gone right don’t know half as much about the nature and ways of going right as those do who have gone wrong. However, it is not desirable for me to chill your summer-time by going into this.”
“Partly, but not entirely. A feeling of having lived deeply acts as a comfort for those who realize they’ve made wrong choices. It may sound contradictory, but it’s true that people who always do the right thing don’t understand the nature of doing right nearly as well as those who have made mistakes. That said, I don’t want to dampen your summer by delving into this.”
“You have not told me even now if I am really vain.”
“You still haven’t told me if I’m really vain.”
“If I say Yes, I shall offend you; if I say No, you’ll think I don’t mean it,” he replied, looking curiously into her face.
“If I say yes, I’ll offend you; if I say no, you’ll think I don’t mean it,” he replied, looking curiously into her face.
“Ah, well,” she replied, with a little breath of distress, “‘That which is exceeding deep, who will find it out?’ I suppose I must take you as I do the Bible—find out and understand all I can; and on the strength of that, swallow the rest in a lump, by simple faith. Think me vain, if you will. Worldly greatness requires so much littleness to grow up in, that an infirmity more or less is not a matter for regret.”
“Ah, well,” she said with a small sigh of frustration, “‘That which is exceedingly deep, who will figure it out?’ I guess I have to approach you like I do the Bible—discover and understand all I can; and based on that, just accept the rest with simple faith. Think of me as vain if you want. Achieving worldly greatness demands so much smallness to thrive in that having one flaw more or less isn’t something to feel sorry about.”
“As regards women, I can’t say,” answered Knight carelessly; “but it is without doubt a misfortune for a man who has a living to get, to be born of a truly noble nature. A high soul will bring a man to the workhouse; so you may be right in sticking up for vanity.”
“As for women, I can’t say,” Knight replied casually; “but it’s definitely unfortunate for a man who has to earn a living to be born with a genuinely noble character. A noble spirit can lead a man to the workhouse, so you might be right to defend vanity.”
“No, no, I don’t do that,” she said regretfully.
“No, no, I don’t do that,” she said with regret.
Mr. Knight, when you are gone, will you send me something you have written? I think I should like to see whether you write as you have lately spoken, or in your better mood. Which is your true self—the cynic you have been this evening, or the nice philosopher you were up to to-night?”
Mr. Knight, when you leave, could you send me something you've written? I'm curious to see if your writing reflects how you've been speaking lately or if it's more like your usual self. Which one is the real you—the cynic you've been tonight or the nice philosopher you were earlier?
“Ah, which? You know as well as I.”
“Ah, which one? You know just as well as I do.”
Their conversation detained them on the lawn and in the portico till the stars blinked out. Elfride flung back her head, and said idly—
Their conversation kept them on the lawn and in the porch until the stars faded away. Elfride tossed her head back and said casually—
“There’s a bright star exactly over me.”
“There’s a bright star directly above me.”
“Each bright star is overhead somewhere.”
“Every bright star is shining somewhere above.”
“Is it? Oh yes, of course. Where is that one?” and she pointed with her finger.
"Is it? Oh yes, of course. Where is that one?" she asked, pointing with her finger.
“That is poised like a white hawk over one of the Cape Verde Islands.”
“That is perched like a white hawk over one of the Cape Verde Islands.”
“And that?”
"And that?"
“Looking down upon the source of the Nile.”
“Looking down at the source of the Nile.”
“And that lonely quiet-looking one?”
“And that lonely, quiet one?”
“He watches the North Pole, and has no less than the whole equator for his horizon. And that idle one low down upon the ground, that we have almost rolled away from, is in India—over the head of a young friend of mine, who very possibly looks at the star in our zenith, as it hangs low upon his horizon, and thinks of it as marking where his true love dwells.”
“He watches the North Pole and has nothing less than the entire equator for his horizon. And that lazy one down on the ground, which we have almost rolled away from, is in India—over the head of a young friend of mine, who might very well be looking at the star in our zenith, as it hangs low on his horizon, and thinks of it as marking where his true love is.”
Elfride glanced at Knight with misgiving. Did he mean her? She could not see his features; but his attitude seemed to show unconsciousness.
Elfride looked at Knight with uncertainty. Was he referring to her? She couldn't make out his features, but his posture seemed to indicate he was oblivious.
“The star is over MY head,” she said with hesitation.
“The star is above me,” she said hesitantly.
“Or anybody else’s in England.”
“Or anyone else’s in England.”
“Oh yes, I see:” she breathed her relief.
“Oh yes, I get it:” she sighed in relief.
“His parents, I believe, are natives of this county. I don’t know them, though I have been in correspondence with him for many years till lately. Fortunately or unfortunately for him he fell in love, and then went to Bombay. Since that time I have heard very little of him.”
“His parents, I think, are from this county. I don't know them, but I've been in touch with him for many years until recently. Luckily or sadly for him, he fell in love and then went to Bombay. Since then, I haven't heard much from him.”
Knight went no further in his volunteered statement, and though Elfride at one moment was inclined to profit by the lessons in honesty he had just been giving her, the flesh was weak, and the intention dispersed into silence. There seemed a reproach in Knight’s blind words, and yet she was not able to clearly define any disloyalty that she had been guilty of.
Knight didn’t go any further with his volunteered statement, and even though Elfride at one point wanted to take the lessons in honesty he had just shared to heart, her resolve weakened, and she fell silent. There seemed to be a hint of reproach in Knight’s blind words, yet she couldn’t clearly identify any disloyalty on her part.
Chapter XX
“A distant dearness in the hill.”
“A distant love in the hill.”
Knight turned his back upon the parish of Endelstow, and crossed over to Cork.
Knight turned his back on the parish of Endelstow and crossed over to Cork.
One day of absence superimposed itself on another, and proportionately weighted his heart. He pushed on to the Lakes of Killarney, rambled amid their luxuriant woods, surveyed the infinite variety of island, hill, and dale there to be found, listened to the marvellous echoes of that romantic spot; but altogether missed the glory and the dream he formerly found in such favoured regions.
One day of absence piled on top of another, weighing heavy on his heart. He continued on to the Lakes of Killarney, wandered through their lush woods, took in the endless variety of islands, hills, and valleys, and listened to the amazing echoes of that romantic place; but he completely missed the beauty and dream he used to find in such favored areas.
Whilst in the company of Elfride, her girlish presence had not perceptibly affected him to any depth. He had not been conscious that her entry into his sphere had added anything to himself; but now that she was taken away he was very conscious of a great deal being abstracted. The superfluity had become a necessity, and Knight was in love.
While he was with Elfride, her youthful presence hadn't really impacted him much. He hadn't felt that her coming into his life added anything to him; but now that she was gone, he was acutely aware of a significant loss. What had once seemed like an extra had turned into a need, and Knight was in love.
Stephen fell in love with Elfride by looking at her: Knight by ceasing to do so. When or how the spirit entered into him he knew not: certain he was that when on the point of leaving Endelstow he had felt none of that exquisite nicety of poignant sadness natural to such severances, seeing how delightful a subject of contemplation Elfride had been ever since. Had he begun to love her when she met his eye after her mishap on the tower? He had simply thought her weak. Had he grown to love her whilst standing on the lawn brightened all over by the evening sun? He had thought her complexion good: no more. Was it her conversation that had sown the seed? He had thought her words ingenious, and very creditable to a young woman, but not noteworthy. Had the chess-playing anything to do with it? Certainly not: he had thought her at that time a rather conceited child.
Stephen fell in love with Elfride just by looking at her; Knight did so by stopping himself from looking. He didn’t know when or how that feeling took hold of him, but he was sure that when he was about to leave Endelstow, he didn’t experience that deep, bittersweet sadness that usually comes with goodbyes, especially considering how captivating a thought Elfride had been since then. Did his feelings for her start to grow when she caught his eye after her accident on the tower? He had honestly just thought she was fragile. Did he begin to love her while standing on the lawn, brightened by the evening sun? He had only thought her complexion looked nice, nothing more. Was it her conversation that planted the seed of love? He found her words clever and impressive for a young woman, but not exceptional. Did playing chess have anything to do with it? Absolutely not; he had considered her a rather arrogant kid at that time.
Knight’s experience was a complete disproof of the assumption that love always comes by glances of the eye and sympathetic touches of the fingers: that, like flame, it makes itself palpable at the moment of generation. Not till they were parted, and she had become sublimated in his memory, could he be said to have even attentively regarded her.
Knight’s experience thoroughly disproved the idea that love always starts with eye contact and gentle touches: that, like fire, it becomes real right when it begins. Only after they were separated, and she had become a perfect memory in his mind, could it be said that he had truly paid attention to her.
Thus, having passively gathered up images of her which his mind did not act upon till the cause of them was no longer before him, he appeared to himself to have fallen in love with her soul, which had temporarily assumed its disembodiment to accompany him on his way.
Thus, having passively collected images of her that his mind didn’t engage with until the reason for them was no longer present, he thought he had fallen in love with her soul, which had momentarily taken on a disembodied form to accompany him on his journey.
She began to rule him so imperiously now that, accustomed to analysis, he almost trembled at the possible result of the introduction of this new force among the nicely adjusted ones of his ordinary life. He became restless: then he forgot all collateral subjects in the pleasure of thinking about her.
She started to dominate him so strongly that, used to analyzing things, he almost shook at the thought of this new force disrupting the carefully balanced aspects of his usual life. He became uneasy; then he lost interest in everything else in the joy of thinking about her.
Yet it must be said that Knight loved philosophically rather than with romance.
Yet it must be said that Knight loved in a philosophical way rather than romantically.
He thought of her manner towards him. Simplicity verges on coquetry. Was she flirting? he said to himself. No forcible translation of favour into suspicion was able to uphold such a theory. The performance had been too well done to be anything but real. It had the defects without which nothing is genuine. No actress of twenty years’ standing, no bald-necked lady whose earliest season “out” was lost in the discreet mist of evasive talk, could have played before him the part of ingenuous girl as Elfride lived it. She had the little artful ways which partly make up ingenuousness.
He thought about how she interacted with him. Simple behavior can sometimes seem flirtatious. Was she flirting? he wondered. But no strong shift from affection to doubt could support that idea. The performance felt too genuine to be anything but real. It had the flaws that make something authentic. No seasoned actress, no older woman whose early career was blurred by ambiguous conversations, could have convincingly portrayed the role of a naïve girl like Elfride did. She had those little clever habits that partially define innocence.
There are bachelors by nature and bachelors by circumstance: spinsters there doubtless are also of both kinds, though some think only those of the latter. However, Knight had been looked upon as a bachelor by nature. What was he coming to? It was very odd to himself to look at his theories on the subject of love, and reading them now by the full light of a new experience, to see how much more his sentences meant than he had felt them to mean when they were written. People often discover the real force of a trite old maxim only when it is thrust upon them by a chance adventure; but Knight had never before known the case of a man who learnt the full compass of his own epigrams by such means.
There are natural bachelors and those who are bachelors by circumstance; spinsters likely fall into both categories, although some believe it's just the latter. However, Knight was considered a natural bachelor. What was happening to him? It felt very strange for him to look back at his theories on love and, with a new experience in mind, realize how much deeper his sentences were compared to what he thought when he wrote them. People often only grasp the real impact of an old saying when it’s highlighted by a random event; yet Knight had never seen a man learn the full meaning of his own clever remarks this way.
He was intensely satisfied with one aspect of the affair. Inbred in him was an invincible objection to be any but the first comer in a woman’s heart. He had discovered within himself the condition that if ever he did make up his mind to marry, it must be on the certainty that no cropping out of inconvenient old letters, no bow and blush to a mysterious stranger casually met, should be a possible source of discomposure. Knight’s sentiments were only the ordinary ones of a man of his age who loves genuinely, perhaps exaggerated a little by his pursuits. When men first love as lads, it is with the very centre of their hearts, nothing else being concerned in the operation. With added years, more of the faculties attempt a partnership in the passion, till at Knight’s age the understanding is fain to have a hand in it. It may as well be left out. A man in love setting up his brains as a gauge of his position is as one determining a ship’s longitude from a light at the mast-head.
He was deeply satisfied with one part of the situation. He was strongly opposed to being anything but the first man in a woman’s heart. He realized that if he ever decided to marry, it had to be with the certainty that no awkward old letters, no chance meeting with a mysterious stranger, would ever cause him distress. Knight’s feelings were similar to those of any genuine man his age, perhaps intensified by his pursuits. When men first fall in love as boys, it’s with their whole hearts, nothing else involved. As they grow older, more of their faculties get involved in the feelings, and by Knight’s age, understanding is eager to play a role. It might as well be ignored. A man in love using his intellect to gauge his feelings is like trying to determine a ship’s longitude from a light at the top of the mast.
Knight argued from Elfride’s unwontedness of manner, which was matter of fact, to an unwontedness in love, which was matter of inference only. Incredules les plus credules. “Elfride,” he said, “had hardly looked upon a man till she saw me.”
Knight argued from Elfride's unusual behavior, which was a fact, to an unusualness in love, which was just an assumption. The least skeptical were the most gullible. “Elfride,” he said, “had barely looked at a man until she saw me.”
He had never forgotten his severity to her because she preferred ornament to edification, and had since excused her a hundred times by thinking how natural to womankind was a love of adornment, and how necessary became a mild infusion of personal vanity to complete the delicate and fascinating dye of the feminine mind. So at the end of the week’s absence, which had brought him as far as Dublin, he resolved to curtail his tour, return to Endelstow, and commit himself by making a reality of the hypothetical offer of that Sunday evening.
He had never forgotten how harsh he had been with her because she valued decorations over self-improvement, and he had since forgiven her countless times by considering how natural a love for embellishment was for women, and how a touch of personal vanity was essential to enrich the intricate and captivating nature of a woman's mind. So, at the end of the week away, which had taken him all the way to Dublin, he decided to cut his trip short, go back to Endelstow, and turn the hypothetical offer from that Sunday evening into a reality.
Notwithstanding that he had concocted a great deal of paper theory on social amenities and modern manners generally, the special ounce of practice was wanting, and now for his life Knight could not recollect whether it was considered correct to give a young lady personal ornaments before a regular engagement to marry had been initiated. But the day before leaving Dublin he looked around anxiously for a high-class jewellery establishment, in which he purchased what he considered would suit her best.
Notwithstanding that he had come up with a lot of theoretical ideas about social niceties and modern etiquette, he was seriously lacking in real-life experience. Now, Knight couldn’t remember if it was appropriate to give a young woman jewelry before a formal engagement to marry had been established. However, the day before he left Dublin, he anxiously searched for an upscale jewelry store where he bought what he thought would be perfect for her.
It was with a most awkward and unwonted feeling that after entering and closing the door of his room he sat down, opened the morocco case, and held up each of the fragile bits of gold-work before his eyes. Many things had become old to the solitary man of letters, but these were new, and he handled like a child an outcome of civilization which had never before been touched by his fingers. A sudden fastidious decision that the pattern chosen would not suit her after all caused him to rise in a flurry and tear down the street to change them for others. After a great deal of trouble in reselecting, during which his mind became so bewildered that the critical faculty on objects of art seemed to have vacated his person altogether, Knight carried off another pair of ear-rings. These remained in his possession till the afternoon, when, after contemplating them fifty times with a growing misgiving that the last choice was worse than the first, he felt that no sleep would visit his pillow till he had improved upon his previous purchases yet again. In a perfect heat of vexation with himself for such tergiversation, he went anew to the shop-door, was absolutely ashamed to enter and give further trouble, went to another shop, bought a pair at an enormously increased price, because they seemed the very thing, asked the goldsmiths if they would take the other pair in exchange, was told that they could not exchange articles bought of another maker, paid down the money, and went off with the two pairs in his possession, wondering what on earth to do with the superfluous pair. He almost wished he could lose them, or that somebody would steal them, and was burdened with an interposing sense that, as a capable man, with true ideas of economy, he must necessarily sell them somewhere, which he did at last for a mere song. Mingled with a blank feeling of a whole day being lost to him in running about the city on this new and extraordinary class of errand, and of several pounds being lost through his bungling, was a slight sense of satisfaction that he had emerged for ever from his antediluvian ignorance on the subject of ladies’ jewellery, as well as secured a truly artistic production at last. During the remainder of that day he scanned the ornaments of every lady he met with the profoundly experienced eye of an appraiser.
It was with a very awkward and unusual feeling that after entering and closing the door to his room, he sat down, opened the leather case, and held each delicate piece of goldwork up to his eyes. A lot of things had become familiar to the solitary writer, but these were new, and he handled them like a child with something from civilization that he had never touched before. Suddenly deciding that the pattern he had chosen wouldn’t suit her after all made him jump up in a rush and dash down the street to exchange them for something else. After quite a bit of trouble reselecting, during which his mind got so confused that he felt like his ability to critique art had completely abandoned him, Knight ended up leaving with another pair of earrings. He held onto these until the afternoon, when after looking at them fifty times with a growing worry that his last choice was worse than the first, he realized he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he found something even better. In a fit of frustration with himself for being so indecisive, he went back to the shop, feeling embarrassed to go in and cause more trouble. He went to another shop, bought a pair at a significantly higher price since they seemed perfect, asked the goldsmiths if they would take the other pair in exchange, was told they couldn’t exchange items bought from another maker, paid the money, and left with both pairs, wondering what he should do with the extra pair. He almost wished he could lose them or that someone would steal them, feeling a nagging sense that as a capable man with good ideas about money, he should definitely sell them somewhere, which he eventually did for very little. Along with the frustration of having lost an entire day running around the city on this unusual errand and having wasted several pounds, there was a slight sense of satisfaction that he had finally moved beyond his old ignorance about women’s jewelry and had actually secured a genuinely artistic piece at last. For the rest of that day, he scrutinized the jewelry of every woman he saw with the experienced eye of an evaluator.
Next morning Knight was again crossing St. George’s Channel—not returning to London by the Holyhead route as he had originally intended, but towards Bristol—availing himself of Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt’s invitation to revisit them on his homeward journey.
Next morning, Knight was once again crossing St. George’s Channel—not heading back to London via the Holyhead route as he had originally planned, but making his way to Bristol—taking advantage of Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt’s invitation to visit them again on his way home.
We flit forward to Elfride.
We move on to Elfride.
Woman’s ruling passion—to fascinate and influence those more powerful than she—though operant in Elfride, was decidedly purposeless. She had wanted her friend Knight’s good opinion from the first: how much more than that elementary ingredient of friendship she now desired, her fears would hardly allow her to think. In originally wishing to please the highest class of man she had ever intimately known, there was no disloyalty to Stephen Smith. She could not—and few women can—realize the possible vastness of an issue which has only an insignificant begetting.
A woman's main desire—to captivate and influence those more powerful than herself—was at play in Elfride, but it lacked a clear purpose. From the beginning, she had wanted her friend Knight's approval; how much more than that basic element of friendship she now yearned for was something her fears barely let her contemplate. In her initial wish to impress the highest class of man she had ever been close to, there was no betrayal of Stephen Smith. She couldn't—and few women can—grasp the potential enormity of a situation that has such a small beginning.
Her letters from Stephen were necessarily few, and her sense of fidelity clung to the last she had received as a wrecked mariner clings to flotsam. The young girl persuaded herself that she was glad Stephen had such a right to her hand as he had acquired (in her eyes) by the elopement. She beguiled herself by saying, “Perhaps if I had not so committed myself I might fall in love with Mr. Knight.”
Her letters from Stephen were necessarily rare, and her sense of loyalty held onto the last one she received like a shipwrecked sailor clings to debris. The young girl convinced herself that she was glad Stephen had the right to her hand that he had earned (in her eyes) through the elopement. She tricked herself by saying, “Maybe if I hadn’t made such a commitment, I could fall in love with Mr. Knight.”
All this made the week of Knight’s absence very gloomy and distasteful to her. She retained Stephen in her prayers, and his old letters were re-read—as a medicine in reality, though she deceived herself into the belief that it was as a pleasure.
All of this made the week that Knight was away very dark and unpleasant for her. She kept Stephen in her thoughts and reread his old letters—more like a remedy, although she convinced herself it was for enjoyment.
These letters had grown more and more hopeful. He told her that he finished his work every day with a pleasant consciousness of having removed one more stone from the barrier which divided them. Then he drew images of what a fine figure they two would cut some day. People would turn their heads and say, “What a prize he has won!” She was not to be sad about that wild runaway attempt of theirs (Elfride had repeatedly said that it grieved her). Whatever any other person who knew of it might think, he knew well enough the modesty of her nature. The only reproach was a gentle one for not having written quite so devotedly during her visit to London. Her letter had seemed to have a liveliness derived from other thoughts than thoughts of him.
These letters had become increasingly optimistic. He told her that he wrapped up his work each day with a satisfying sense of having removed another obstacle from the barrier separating them. Then he painted a picture of how impressive they would look together someday. People would stop and say, “What a catch he’s landed!” She shouldn’t dwell on that reckless escapade they had (Elfride had often mentioned that it upset her). No matter what anyone else who knew about it might think, he was well aware of her modest nature. The only gentle criticism was for not writing quite as affectionately during her time in London. Her letter seemed to carry a vibrancy that came from thoughts unrelated to him.
Knight’s intention of an early return to Endelstow having originally been faint, his promise to do so had been fainter. He was a man who kept his words well to the rear of his possible actions. The vicar was rather surprised to see him again so soon: Mrs. Swancourt was not. Knight found, on meeting them all, after his arrival had been announced, that they had formed an intention to go to St. Leonards for a few days at the end of the month.
Knight's plan to return to Endelstow, which had initially been weak, had resulted in an even weaker promise. He was someone who often kept his words far behind his potential actions. The vicar was quite surprised to see him again so soon; Mrs. Swancourt was not. When Knight finally met everyone after his arrival was announced, he learned that they had decided to go to St. Leonards for a few days at the end of the month.
No satisfactory conjuncture offered itself on this first evening of his return for presenting Elfride with what he had been at such pains to procure. He was fastidious in his reading of opportunities for such an intended act. The next morning chancing to break fine after a week of cloudy weather, it was proposed and decided that they should all drive to Barwith Strand, a local lion which neither Mrs. Swancourt nor Knight had seen. Knight scented romantic occasions from afar, and foresaw that such a one might be expected before the coming night.
No good moment came up on the first evening of his return to present Elfride with what he had worked so hard to get for her. He was particular about looking for the right chance for such a gesture. The next morning, after a week of cloudy weather, it turned out to be nice, and it was suggested and agreed that they should all drive to Barwith Strand, a local attraction that neither Mrs. Swancourt nor Knight had seen. Knight sensed romantic opportunities from a distance and anticipated that one might arise before the night was over.
The journey was along a road by neutral green hills, upon which hedgerows lay trailing like ropes on a quay. Gaps in these uplands revealed the blue sea, flecked with a few dashes of white and a solitary white sail, the whole brimming up to a keen horizon which lay like a line ruled from hillside to hillside. Then they rolled down a pass, the chocolate-toned rocks forming a wall on both sides, from one of which fell a heavy jagged shade over half the roadway. A spout of fresh water burst from an occasional crevice, and pattering down upon broad green leaves, ran along as a rivulet at the bottom. Unkempt locks of heather overhung the brow of each steep, whence at divers points a bramble swung forth into mid-air, snatching at their head-dresses like a claw.
The journey went along a road by lush green hills, where hedgerows hung down like ropes on a dock. Openings in these hills showed glimpses of the blue sea, sprinkled with a few whitecaps and a lone white sail, all stretching up to a sharp horizon that looked like a straight line drawn from one hillside to the other. Then they descended through a pass, with chocolate-colored rocks forming walls on either side, one of which cast a heavy, jagged shadow over half the road. A stream of fresh water burst from the occasional crack and trickled down onto wide green leaves, flowing along as a small creek at the bottom. Untidy patches of heather hung over the edge of each steep slope, where at various points brambles reached out into the air, grabbing at their hats like claws.
They mounted the last crest, and the bay which was to be the end of their pilgrimage burst upon them. The ocean blueness deepened its colour as it stretched to the foot of the crags, where it terminated in a fringe of white—silent at this distance, though moving and heaving like a counterpane upon a restless sleeper. The shadowed hollows of the purple and brown rocks would have been called blue had not that tint been so entirely appropriated by the water beside them.
They climbed the final ridge, and the bay that marked the end of their journey opened up before them. The ocean's blue deepened as it reached the base of the cliffs, where it ended in a line of white—silent from this distance, yet moving and undulating like a blanket on a restless sleeper. The dark cavities of the purple and brown rocks would have been considered blue if that color hadn't been completely taken over by the water next to them.
The carriage was put up at a little cottage with a shed attached, and an ostler and the coachman carried the hamper of provisions down to the shore.
The carriage was parked at a small cottage with a shed attached, and an attendant and the driver carried the basket of food down to the shore.
Knight found his opportunity. “I did not forget your wish,” he began, when they were apart from their friends.
Knight found his chance. “I didn’t forget your wish,” he started, when they were away from their friends.
Elfride looked as if she did not understand.
Elfride looked like she didn't understand.
“And I have brought you these,” he continued, awkwardly pulling out the case, and opening it while holding it towards her.
“And I have brought you these,” he said, awkwardly pulling out the case and opening it while holding it out to her.
“O Mr. Knight!” said Elfride confusedly, and turning to a lively red; “I didn’t know you had any intention or meaning in what you said. I thought it a mere supposition. I don’t want them.”
“O Mr. Knight!” Elfride exclaimed, her face flushing a bright red. “I didn’t realize you actually meant what you said. I thought it was just a guess. I don’t want them.”
A thought which had flashed into her mind gave the reply a greater decisiveness than it might otherwise have possessed. To-morrow was the day for Stephen’s letter.
A thought that suddenly came to her mind made the reply feel more certain than it might have otherwise. Tomorrow was the day for Stephen’s letter.
“But will you not accept them?” Knight returned, feeling less her master than heretofore.
“But will you not accept them?” Knight replied, feeling less like her master than before.
“I would rather not. They are beautiful—more beautiful than any I have ever seen,” she answered earnestly, looking half-wishfully at the temptation, as Eve may have looked at the apple. “But I don’t want to have them, if you will kindly forgive me, Mr. Knight.”
“I’d rather not. They’re beautiful—more beautiful than any I’ve ever seen,” she replied sincerely, casting a longing glance at the temptation, just like Eve might have looked at the apple. “But I don’t want to have them, if you don’t mind, Mr. Knight.”
“No kindness at all,” said Mr. Knight, brought to a full stop at this unexpected turn of events.
“No kindness at all,” said Mr. Knight, coming to a complete stop at this unexpected twist in events.
A silence followed. Knight held the open case, looking rather wofully at the glittering forms he had forsaken his orbit to procure; turning it about and holding it up as if, feeling his gift to be slighted by her, he were endeavouring to admire it very much himself.
A silence followed. Knight held the open case, looking rather sadly at the sparkling items he had left his place to get; turning it around and holding it up as if, feeling his gift was overlooked by her, he was trying hard to admire it himself.
“Shut them up, and don’t let me see them any longer—do!” she said laughingly, and with a quaint mixture of reluctance and entreaty.
“Shut them up, and don’t let me see them anymore—please!” she said with a laugh, expressing a strange mix of hesitation and pleading.
“Why, Elfie?”
"Why, Elfie?"
“Not Elfie to you, Mr. Knight. Oh, because I shall want them. There, I am silly, I know, to say that! But I have a reason for not taking them—now.” She kept in the last word for a moment, intending to imply that her refusal was finite, but somehow the word slipped out, and undid all the rest.
“Not Elfie to you, Mr. Knight. Oh, because I will need them. There, I know I sound silly saying that! But I have a reason for not taking them—right now.” She held onto the last word for a moment, trying to suggest that her refusal was final, but somehow the word slipped out, undoing everything else.
“You will take them some day?”
“You're going to take them someday?”
“I don’t want to.”
"I don't want to."
“Why don’t you want to, Elfride Swancourt?”
“Why don’t you want to, Elfride Swancourt?”
“Because I don’t. I don’t like to take them.”
“Because I don’t. I don’t want to take them.”
“I have read a fact of distressing significance in that,” said Knight. “Since you like them, your dislike to having them must be towards me?”
“I’ve come across something upsetting,” said Knight. “Since you like them, does that mean your dislike of them is really aimed at me?”
“No, it isn’t.”
“No, it’s not.”
“What, then? Do you like me?”
“What’s up? Do you like me?”
Elfride deepened in tint, and looked into the distance with features shaped to an expression of the nicest criticism as regarded her answer.
Elfride's complexion deepened, and she gazed into the distance with a look that reflected a refined sense of criticism regarding her response.
“I like you pretty well,” she at length murmured mildly.
“I like you quite a bit,” she finally whispered softly.
“Not very much?”
“Not much?”
“You are so sharp with me, and say hard things, and so how can I?” she replied evasively.
"You’re being really harsh with me and saying tough things, so how am I supposed to respond?" she replied evasively.
“You think me a fogey, I suppose?”
“You think I'm an old-fashioned person, right?”
“No, I don’t—I mean I do—I don’t know what I think you, I mean. Let us go to papa,” responded Elfride, with somewhat of a flurried delivery.
“No, I don’t—I mean I do—I don’t know what I think you, I mean. Let’s go to dad,” Elfride replied, a bit flustered.
“Well, I’ll tell you my object in getting the present,” said Knight, with a composure intended to remove from her mind any possible impression of his being what he was—her lover. “You see it was the very least I could do in common civility.”
“Well, I’ll tell you my reason for getting this gift,” said Knight, maintaining a calmness meant to dispel any thoughts in her mind that he was—her lover. “You see, it was the very least I could do out of basic politeness.”
Elfride felt rather blank at this lucid statement.
Elfride felt a bit blank at this clear statement.
Knight continued, putting away the case: “I felt as anybody naturally would have, you know, that my words on your choice the other day were invidious and unfair, and thought an apology should take a practical shape.”
Knight continued, putting away the case: “I felt, like anyone would, that my comments on your choice the other day were hateful and unjust, and I thought an apology should be more concrete.”
“Oh yes.”
“Yeah.”
Elfride was sorry—she could not tell why—that he gave such a legitimate reason. It was a disappointment that he had all the time a cool motive, which might be stated to anybody without raising a smile. Had she known they were offered in that spirit, she would certainly have accepted the seductive gift. And the tantalizing feature was that perhaps he suspected her to imagine them offered as a lover’s token, which was mortifying enough if they were not.
Elfride felt a sense of regret—she couldn't pinpoint why—as he provided such a valid reason. It was disappointing that he always had a calm motive, one that could be presented to anyone without drawing a laugh. If she had realized they were given in that way, she definitely would have accepted the tempting gift. What made it even more frustrating was that he might have thought she believed they were given as a romantic gesture, which was embarrassing enough if they weren't.
Mrs. Swancourt came now to where they were sitting, to select a flat boulder for spreading their table-cloth upon, and, amid the discussion on that subject, the matter pending between Knight and Elfride was shelved for a while. He read her refusal so certainly as the bashfulness of a girl in a novel position, that, upon the whole, he could tolerate such a beginning. Could Knight have been told that it was a sense of fidelity struggling against new love, whilst no less assuring as to his ultimate victory, it might have entirely abstracted the wish to secure it.
Mrs. Swancourt walked over to where they were sitting to choose a flat rock to spread their tablecloth on. In the middle of that discussion, the issue between Knight and Elfride was set aside for a bit. He interpreted her refusal as clearly as the shyness of a girl in an unusual situation, so he was able to accept that start. If Knight had known that it was a feeling of loyalty battling against new love, while still being confident in his eventual success, it might have completely taken away his desire to claim it.
At the same time a slight constraint of manner was visible between them for the remainder of the afternoon. The tide turned, and they were obliged to ascend to higher ground. The day glided on to its end with the usual quiet dreamy passivity of such occasions—when every deed done and thing thought is in endeavouring to avoid doing and thinking more. Looking idly over the verge of a crag, they beheld their stone dining-table gradually being splashed upon and their crumbs and fragments all washed away by the incoming sea. The vicar drew a moral lesson from the scene; Knight replied in the same satisfied strain. And then the waves rolled in furiously—the neutral green-and-blue tongues of water slid up the slopes, and were metamorphosed into foam by a careless blow, falling back white and faint, and leaving trailing followers behind.
At the same time, a slight awkwardness was noticeable between them for the rest of the afternoon. The tide changed, and they had to move to higher ground. The day smoothly came to an end with the usual quiet, dreamy passivity of such moments—when everything done and thought is focused on avoiding doing and thinking more. Looking absentmindedly over the edge of a cliff, they watched as their stone dining table gradually got splashed, with their crumbs and bits washed away by the incoming sea. The vicar took a moral lesson from what he saw; Knight responded in the same content tone. Then the waves crashed in violently—the neutral green and blue waters slid up the slopes, transforming into foam with a casual slap, retreating white and faint, leaving trailing waves behind.
The passing of a heavy shower was the next scene—driving them to shelter in a shallow cave—after which the horses were put in, and they started to return homeward. By the time they reached the higher levels the sky had again cleared, and the sunset rays glanced directly upon the wet uphill road they had climbed. The ruts formed by their carriage-wheels on the ascent—a pair of Liliputian canals—were as shining bars of gold, tapering to nothing in the distance. Upon this also they turned their backs, and night spread over the sea.
The heavy rain shower passed, forcing them to seek shelter in a shallow cave. Once the rain stopped, they put the horses in and began their journey back home. By the time they reached the higher ground, the sky had cleared again, and the sunset rays glinted off the wet uphill road they had traversed. The ruts made by their carriage wheels on the way up looked like tiny canals, shining like gold bars that tapered off into the distance. Turning away from this scene, night fell over the sea.
The evening was chilly, and there was no moon. Knight sat close to Elfride, and, when the darkness rendered the position of a person a matter of uncertainty, particularly close. Elfride edged away.
The evening was cold, and there was no moon. Knight sat close to Elfride, and as the darkness made it hard to tell where someone was, he sat especially close. Elfride moved away.
“I hope you allow me my place ungrudgingly?” he whispered.
“I hope you let me have my spot without any hard feelings?” he whispered.
“Oh yes; ’tis the least I can do in common civility,” she said, accenting the words so that he might recognize them as his own returned.
“Oh yes; it’s the least I can do out of basic politeness,” she said, stressing the words so that he would understand they were his own coming back to him.
Both of them felt delicately balanced between two possibilities. Thus they reached home.
Both of them felt carefully balanced between two options. So they got home.
To Knight this mild experience was delightful. It was to him a gentle innocent time—a time which, though there may not be much in it, seldom repeats itself in a man’s life, and has a peculiar dearness when glanced at retrospectively. He is not inconveniently deep in love, and is lulled by a peaceful sense of being able to enjoy the most trivial thing with a childlike enjoyment. The movement of a wave, the colour of a stone, anything, was enough for Knight’s drowsy thoughts of that day to precipitate themselves upon. Even the sermonizing platitudes the vicar had delivered himself of—chiefly because something seemed to be professionally required of him in the presence of a man of Knight’s proclivities—were swallowed whole. The presence of Elfride led him not merely to tolerate that kind of talk from the necessities of ordinary courtesy; but he listened to it—took in the ideas with an enjoyable make-believe that they were proper and necessary, and indulged in a conservative feeling that the face of things was complete.
To Knight, this gentle experience was wonderful. It was a simple, innocent time—a moment that, while not particularly exciting, rarely happens in a person’s life and feels uniquely precious when looking back. He wasn’t overwhelmingly in love, and he was soothed by a calm sense of being able to appreciate even the most mundane things with a childlike joy. The movement of a wave, the color of a stone—anything could capture Knight’s sleepy thoughts that day. Even the boring clichés the vicar had expressed—mainly because he felt a professional obligation around someone like Knight—were easily accepted. Elfride's presence didn’t just make him tolerate that kind of talk out of basic politeness; he actually engaged with it—embraced the ideas with a delightful pretense that they were important and necessary, and enjoyed a conservative feeling that everything was just as it should be.
Entering her room that evening Elfride found a packet for herself on the dressing-table. How it came there she did not know. She tremblingly undid the folds of white paper that covered it. Yes; it was the treasure of a morocco case, containing those treasures of ornament she had refused in the daytime.
Entering her room that evening, Elfride found a package for herself on the dressing table. She had no idea how it got there. With trembling hands, she opened the folds of white paper that wrapped it. Yes, it was the treasure from a morocco case, containing the decorative pieces she had turned down earlier in the day.
Elfride dressed herself in them for a moment, looked at herself in the glass, blushed red, and put them away. They filled her dreams all that night. Never had she seen anything so lovely, and never was it more clear that as an honest woman she was in duty bound to refuse them. Why it was not equally clear to her that duty required more vigorous co-ordinate conduct as well, let those who dissect her say.
Elfride put them on for a moment, checked herself out in the mirror, blushed deeply, and then put them away. They filled her dreams all night. She had never seen anything so beautiful, and it was clear to her that as an honest woman, she had to refuse them. As for why it wasn’t equally clear to her that her duty also required more decisive action, let those who analyze her figure it out.
The next morning glared in like a spectre upon her. It was Stephen’s letter-day, and she was bound to meet the postman—to stealthily do a deed she had never liked, to secure an end she now had ceased to desire.
The next morning hit her like a ghost. It was Stephen’s letter day, and she had to meet the postman—to sneakily do something she had never liked, to achieve an end she no longer wanted.
But she went.
But she left.
There were two letters.
There were 2 letters.
One was from the bank at St. Launce’s, in which she had a small private deposit—probably something about interest. She put that in her pocket for a moment, and going indoors and upstairs to be safer from observation, tremblingly opened Stephen’s.
One was from the bank at St. Launce’s, where she had a small private deposit—probably something about interest. She put that in her pocket for a moment, then went inside and upstairs to be safer from prying eyes, nervously opened Stephen’s.
What was this he said to her?
What did he say to her?
She was to go to the St. Launce’s Bank and take a sum of money which they had received private advices to pay her.
She was supposed to go to St. Launce’s Bank and collect a sum of money that they had been advised privately to pay her.
The sum was two hundred pounds.
The total was two hundred pounds.
There was no check, order, or anything of the nature of guarantee. In fact the information amounted to this: the money was now in the St. Launce’s Bank, standing in her name.
There was no check, order, or anything resembling a guarantee. In fact, the information was basically this: the money was now in St. Launce’s Bank, under her name.
She instantly opened the other letter. It contained a deposit-note from the bank for the sum of two hundred pounds which had that day been added to her account. Stephen’s information, then, was correct, and the transfer made.
She quickly opened the other letter. It included a deposit slip from the bank for the amount of two hundred pounds that had been added to her account that day. So, Stephen's information was right, and the transfer happened.
“I have saved this in one year,” Stephen’s letter went on to say, “and what so proper as well as pleasant for me to do as to hand it over to you to keep for your use? I have plenty for myself, independently of this. Should you not be disposed to let it lie idle in the bank, get your father to invest it in your name on good security. It is a little present to you from your more than betrothed. He will, I think, Elfride, feel now that my pretensions to your hand are anything but the dream of a silly boy not worth rational consideration.”
“I have saved this in one year,” Stephen’s letter continued, “and what could be more proper and pleasant for me than to give it to you to use? I have more than enough for myself, aside from this. If you don’t want it to just sit in the bank, have your father invest it in your name with good security. It’s a little gift for you from your more than betrothed. I think he will now realize, Elfride, that my intentions for your hand are anything but the whimsical fantasies of a foolish boy unworthy of serious thought.”
With a natural delicacy, Elfride, in mentioning her father’s marriage, had refrained from all allusion to the pecuniary resources of the lady.
With a natural grace, Elfride, while talking about her father’s marriage, had avoided any reference to the woman’s financial background.
Leaving this matter-of-fact subject, he went on, somewhat after his boyish manner:
Leaving this straightforward topic, he continued, a bit like his youthful self:
“Do you remember, darling, that first morning of my arrival at your house, when your father read at prayers the miracle of healing the sick of the palsy—where he is told to take up his bed and walk? I do, and I can now so well realize the force of that passage. The smallest piece of mat is the bed of the Oriental, and yesterday I saw a native perform the very action, which reminded me to mention it. But you are better read than I, and perhaps you knew all this long ago....One day I bought some small native idols to send home to you as curiosities, but afterwards finding they had been cast in England, made to look old, and shipped over, I threw them away in disgust.
“Do you remember, sweetheart, that first morning when I arrived at your house, and your dad read during prayers about the miracle of healing the sick with palsy—where he's told to pick up his bed and walk? I do, and I can really understand the meaning of that passage now. The smallest piece of mat is the bed for someone from the East, and just yesterday I saw a local person do that same action, which reminded me to bring it up. But you’ve read more than I have, and maybe you’ve known all this for a long time... One day, I bought some small local idols to send home to you as curiosities, but later I found out they were made in England, aged to look old, and shipped over, so I tossed them out in disgust.”
“Speaking of this reminds me that we are obliged to import all our house-building ironwork from England. Never was such foresight required to be exercised in building houses as here. Before we begin, we have to order every column, lock, hinge, and screw that will be required. We cannot go into the next street, as in London, and get them cast at a minute’s notice. Mr. L. says somebody will have to go to England very soon and superintend the selection of a large order of this kind. I only wish I may be the man.”
“Speaking of this reminds me that we have to import all our house-building ironwork from England. There's never been such careful planning needed for building houses as there is here. Before we start, we have to order every column, lock, hinge, and screw we’ll need. We can’t just go down the street, like in London, and get them made on the spot. Mr. L. says someone will need to go to England very soon to oversee the selection of a large order like this. I just hope I get to be that person.”
There before her lay the deposit-receipt for the two hundred pounds, and beside it the elegant present of Knight. Elfride grew cold—then her cheeks felt heated by beating blood. If by destroying the piece of paper the whole transaction could have been withdrawn from her experience, she would willingly have sacrificed the money it represented. She did not know what to do in either case. She almost feared to let the two articles lie in juxtaposition: so antagonistic were the interests they represented that a miraculous repulsion of one by the other was almost to be expected.
There in front of her was the deposit receipt for two hundred pounds, along with the stylish gift from Knight. Elfride went cold—then her cheeks flushed with heat from her racing blood. If destroying the piece of paper could erase the entire transaction from her memory, she would have gladly given up the money it represented. She felt uncertain about what to do in either situation. She almost feared letting the two items sit next to each other: their conflicting interests were so strong that it seemed almost expected for one to repel the other.
That day she was seen little of. By the evening she had come to a resolution, and acted upon it. The packet was sealed up—with a tear of regret as she closed the case upon the pretty forms it contained—directed, and placed upon the writing-table in Knight’s room. And a letter was written to Stephen, stating that as yet she hardly understood her position with regard to the money sent; but declaring that she was ready to fulfil her promise to marry him. After this letter had been written she delayed posting it—although never ceasing to feel strenuously that the deed must be done.
That day she was hardly seen. By evening, she had made a decision and acted on it. The packet was sealed—with a tear of regret as she closed the case on the beautiful things inside—addressed, and set on the writing desk in Knight’s room. She also wrote a letter to Stephen, saying that she still didn’t quite understand her situation regarding the money that was sent; but she was ready to keep her promise to marry him. After writing this letter, she hesitated to mail it—though she constantly felt that the deed had to be done.
Several days passed. There was another Indian letter for Elfride. Coming unexpectedly, her father saw it, but made no remark—why, she could not tell. The news this time was absolutely overwhelming. Stephen, as he had wished, had been actually chosen as the most fitting to execute the iron-work commission he had alluded to as impending. This duty completed he would have three months’ leave. His letter continued that he should follow it in a week, and should take the opportunity to plainly ask her father to permit the engagement. Then came a page expressive of his delight and hers at the reunion; and finally, the information that he would write to the shipping agents, asking them to telegraph and tell her when the ship bringing him home should be in sight—knowing how acceptable such information would be.
Several days went by. Another letter from India arrived for Elfride. Her father saw it unexpectedly but didn’t say anything—she couldn’t understand why. The news this time was absolutely overwhelming. Stephen, just as he hoped, had been chosen as the best person to handle the iron-work project he had mentioned was coming up. Once that task was done, he would have three months off. His letter went on to say that he would follow it up in a week and would take the chance to formally ask her father for permission to get engaged. Then there was a page expressing his excitement and hers about being together again; finally, he mentioned that he would reach out to the shipping agents to ask them to send a telegram to let her know when the ship bringing him home would be in sight—knowing how much she would appreciate that information.
Elfride lived and moved now as in a dream. Knight had at first become almost angry at her persistent refusal of his offering—and no less with the manner than the fact of it. But he saw that she began to look worn and ill—and his vexation lessened to simple perplexity.
Elfride was now living and moving as though in a dream. Knight had initially become quite frustrated with her constant refusal of his offer—and he was irritated both by her decision and how she acted about it. But he noticed that she was starting to look tired and unwell—and his irritation faded into mere confusion.
He ceased now to remain in the house for long hours together as before, but made it a mere centre for antiquarian and geological excursions in the neighbourhood. Throw up his cards and go away he fain would have done, but could not. And, thus, availing himself of the privileges of a relative, he went in and out the premises as fancy led him—but still lingered on.
He no longer spent long hours in the house like he used to; instead, he turned it into a base for exploring the local history and geology. He would have liked to just quit and leave, but he couldn't. So, taking advantage of being family, he came and went as he pleased—but still stuck around.
“I don’t wish to stay here another day if my presence is distasteful,” he said one afternoon. “At first you used to imply that I was severe with you; and when I am kind you treat me unfairly.”
“I don’t want to stay here another day if my presence bothers you,” he said one afternoon. “At first, you suggested that I was too harsh with you; and now that I’m being nice, you’re treating me unfairly.”
“No, no. Don’t say so.”
“No, no. Don’t say that.”
The origin of their acquaintanceship had been such as to render their manner towards each other peculiar and uncommon. It was of a kind to cause them to speak out their minds on any feelings of objection and difference: to be reticent on gentler matters.
The beginning of their friendship was unique and made their behavior toward each other different from what you'd expect. It led them to be open about their disagreements and objections, while being reserved about softer topics.
“I have a good mind to go away and never trouble you again,” continued Knight.
“I really feel like just leaving and never bothering you again,” Knight continued.
She said nothing, but the eloquent expression of her eyes and wan face was enough to reproach him for harshness.
She said nothing, but the expressive look in her eyes and her pale face were enough to blame him for being harsh.
“Do you like me to be here, then?” inquired Knight gently.
“Do you want me to be here, then?” Knight asked gently.
“Yes,” she said. Fidelity to the old love and truth to the new were ranged on opposite sides, and truth virtuelessly prevailed.
“Yes,” she said. Loyalty to the old love and honesty to the new were at odds, and honesty won without merit.
“Then I’ll stay a little longer,” said Knight.
“Then I’ll stay a bit longer,” said Knight.
“Don’t be vexed if I keep by myself a good deal, will you? Perhaps something may happen, and I may tell you something.”
“Don’t be upset if I spend a lot of time alone, okay? Maybe something will happen, and I’ll share it with you.”
“Mere coyness,” said Knight to himself; and went away with a lighter heart. The trick of reading truly the enigmatical forces at work in women at given times, which with some men is an unerring instinct, is peculiar to minds less direct and honest than Knight’s.
“Mere shyness,” Knight said to himself, and walked away feeling more cheerful. The ability to accurately read the puzzling behavior in women during certain moments, which some men have as a sharp instinct, is something that belongs more to minds that are less straightforward and honest than Knight’s.
The next evening, about five o’clock, before Knight had returned from a pilgrimage along the shore, a man walked up to the house. He was a messenger from Camelton, a town a few miles off, to which place the railway had been advanced during the summer.
The next evening, around five o’clock, before Knight had come back from a walk along the shore, a man approached the house. He was a messenger from Camelton, a town a few miles away, where the railway had been extended during the summer.
“A telegram for Miss Swancourt, and three and sixpence to pay for the special messenger.” Miss Swancourt sent out the money, signed the paper, and opened her letter with a trembling hand. She read:
“A telegram for Miss Swancourt, and three shillings and sixpence to pay for the special messenger.” Miss Swancourt sent out the money, signed the paper, and opened her letter with a shaking hand. She read:
“Johnson, Liverpool, to Miss Swancourt, Endelstow, near Castle Boterel.
“Johnson, Liverpool, to Miss Swancourt, Endelstow, near Castle Boterel.
“Amaryllis telegraphed off Holyhead, four o’clock. Expect will dock and land passengers at Canning’s Basin ten o’clock to-morrow morning.”
“Amaryllis sent a telegram from Holyhead at four o’clock. It’s expected to dock and let passengers off at Canning’s Basin at ten o’clock tomorrow morning.”
Her father called her into the study.
Her dad called her into the office.
“Elfride, who sent you that message?” he asked suspiciously.
“Elfride, who sent you that message?” he asked, looking suspicious.
“Johnson.” “Who is Johnson, for Heaven’s sake?”
“Johnson.” “Who is Johnson, for heaven’s sake?”
“I don’t know.”
"I have no idea."
“The deuce you don’t! Who is to know, then?”
“The heck you don't! Who's to know, then?”
“I have never heard of him till now.”
“I've never heard of him until now.”
“That’s a singular story, isn’t it.”
"That's a unique story, isn't it?"
“I don’t know.”
"I don't know."
“Come, come, miss! What was the telegram?”
“Come on, miss! What did the telegram say?”
“Do you really wish to know, papa?”
“Do you really want to know, dad?”
“Well, I do.”
"Well, I do."
“Remember, I am a full-grown woman now.”
“Just remember, I’m a grown woman now.”
“Well, what then?”
"What's next?"
“Being a woman, and not a child, I may, I think, have a secret or two.”
“Since I’m a woman and not a child, I might have a secret or two, I believe.”
“You will, it seems.”
"You will, it seems."
“Women have, as a rule.”
"Women usually have."
“But don’t keep them. So speak out.”
“But don’t hold on to them. Just say it.”
“If you will not press me now, I give my word to tell you the meaning of all this before the week is past.”
“If you won’t pressure me right now, I promise to explain everything to you before the week is over.”
“On your honour?”
"By your word?"
“On my honour.”
"On my word."
“Very well. I have had a certain suspicion, you know; and I shall be glad to find it false. I don’t like your manner lately.”
“Okay. I’ve had some suspicions, you know, and I’ll be happy to find out I’m wrong. I don’t like how you’ve been acting lately.”
“At the end of the week, I said, papa.”
“At the end of the week, I said, dad.”
Her father did not reply, and Elfride left the room.
Her father didn't respond, and Elfride left the room.
She began to look out for the postman again. Three mornings later he brought an inland letter from Stephen. It contained very little matter, having been written in haste; but the meaning was bulky enough. Stephen said that, having executed a commission in Liverpool, he should arrive at his father’s house, East Endelstow, at five or six o’clock that same evening; that he would after dusk walk on to the next village, and meet her, if she would, in the church porch, as in the old time. He proposed this plan because he thought it unadvisable to call formally at her house so late in the evening; yet he could not sleep without having seen her. The minutes would seem hours till he clasped her in his arms.
She started to keep an eye out for the postman again. Three mornings later, he delivered a letter from Stephen. It didn’t have much content, since it was written quickly, but the message was significant. Stephen mentioned that after completing a task in Liverpool, he would arrive at his father’s house in East Endelstow around five or six that evening. After dark, he planned to walk to the next village and meet her, if she was willing, in the church porch, just like old times. He suggested this plan because he thought it wouldn't be a good idea to stop by her house so late in the evening; still, he couldn’t rest until he had seen her. The minutes would feel like hours until he held her in his arms.
Elfride was still steadfast in her opinion that honour compelled her to meet him. Probably the very longing to avoid him lent additional weight to the conviction; for she was markedly one of those who sigh for the unattainable—to whom, superlatively, a hope is pleasing because not a possession. And she knew it so well that her intellect was inclined to exaggerate this defect in herself.
Elfride was still firm in her belief that honor compelled her to meet him. Probably the very desire to avoid him added to her conviction; she was clearly one of those who yearn for what they can't have—to whom, especially, a hope is enjoyable because it's not a reality. And she was aware of it so much that her mind tended to amplify this flaw in herself.
So during the day she looked her duty steadfastly in the face; read Wordsworth’s astringent yet depressing ode to that Deity; committed herself to her guidance; and still felt the weight of chance desires.
So during the day, she faced her responsibilities head-on; read Wordsworth’s sharp yet gloomy ode to that Deity; dedicated herself to following its guidance; and still felt the burden of her random desires.
But she began to take a melancholy pleasure in contemplating the sacrifice of herself to the man whom a maidenly sense of propriety compelled her to regard as her only possible husband. She would meet him, and do all that lay in her power to marry him. To guard against a relapse, a note was at once despatched to his father’s cottage for Stephen on his arrival, fixing an hour for the interview.
But she started to find a sad joy in thinking about sacrificing herself for the man who, due to her sense of propriety, she felt was her only possible husband. She would meet him and do everything she could to marry him. To prevent any setbacks, a note was quickly sent to his father’s cottage for Stephen upon his arrival, setting a time for their meeting.
Chapter XXI
“On thy cold grey stones, O sea!”
“On your cold gray stones, O sea!”
Stephen had said that he should come by way of Bristol, and thence by a steamer to Castle Boterel, in order to avoid the long journey over the hills from St. Launce’s. He did not know of the extension of the railway to Camelton.
Stephen had mentioned that he should go through Bristol and then take a steamer to Castle Boterel to skip the long trip over the hills from St. Launce's. He wasn't aware that the railway had been extended to Camelton.
During the afternoon a thought occurred to Elfride, that from any cliff along the shore it would be possible to see the steamer some hours before its arrival.
During the afternoon, Elfride had a thought that from any cliff along the shore, it would be possible to spot the steamer a few hours before it arrived.
She had accumulated religious force enough to do an act of supererogation. The act was this—to go to some point of land and watch for the ship that brought her future husband home.
She had gathered enough spiritual strength to go above and beyond what was expected. This meant going to a certain piece of land to wait for the ship that would bring her future husband home.
It was a cloudy afternoon. Elfride was often diverted from a purpose by a dull sky; and though she used to persuade herself that the weather was as fine as possible on the other side of the clouds, she could not bring about any practical result from this fancy. Now, her mood was such that the humid sky harmonized with it.
It was a cloudy afternoon. Elfride often got distracted from her goals by the gray sky; and even though she tried to convince herself that the weather was perfect on the other side of the clouds, she couldn’t make that belief translate into anything useful. At that moment, her mood was such that the damp sky matched her feelings.
Having ascended and passed over a hill behind the house, Elfride came to a small stream. She used it as a guide to the coast. It was smaller than that in her own valley, and flowed altogether at a higher level. Bushes lined the slopes of its shallow trough; but at the bottom, where the water ran, was a soft green carpet, in a strip two or three yards wide.
Having climbed over a hill behind the house, Elfride reached a small stream. She followed it as a guide to the coast. It was smaller than the one in her own valley and flowed at a higher level overall. Bushes lined the slopes of its shallow bed, but at the bottom, where the water flowed, there was a soft green carpet, about two or three yards wide.
In winter, the water flowed over the grass; in summer, as now, it trickled along a channel in the midst.
In winter, the water flowed over the grass; in summer, like now, it trickled along a channel in the middle.
Elfride had a sensation of eyes regarding her from somewhere. She turned, and there was Mr. Knight. He had dropped into the valley from the side of the hill. She felt a thrill of pleasure, and rebelliously allowed it to exist.
Elfride felt like someone was watching her from somewhere. She turned, and there was Mr. Knight. He had come down into the valley from the hillside. She felt a rush of pleasure and, with a hint of defiance, decided to embrace it.
“What utter loneliness to find you in!”
“What complete loneliness to find you in!”
“I am going to the shore by tracking the stream. I believe it empties itself not far off, in a silver thread of water, over a cascade of great height.”
“I’m heading to the shore by following the stream. I think it flows out not too far away, in a silver ribbon of water, over a tall waterfall.”
“Why do you load yourself with that heavy telescope?”
“Why are you carrying that heavy telescope?”
“To look over the sea with it,” she said faintly.
“To look out over the sea with it,” she said softly.
“I’ll carry it for you to your journey’s end.” And he took the glass from her unresisting hands. “It cannot be half a mile further. See, there is the water.” He pointed to a short fragment of level muddy-gray colour, cutting against the sky.
“I’ll carry it for you to the end of your journey.” He took the glass from her willing hands. “It can’t be more than half a mile further. Look, there’s the water.” He pointed to a small patch of flat muddy-gray color, contrasting with the sky.
Elfride had already scanned the small surface of ocean visible, and had seen no ship.
Elfride had already looked over the small stretch of ocean she could see and hadn’t spotted any ships.
They walked along in company, sometimes with the brook between them—for it was no wider than a man’s stride—sometimes close together. The green carpet grew swampy, and they kept higher up.
They walked together, sometimes with the brook in between them—since it was only as wide as a man's stride—sometimes right next to each other. The green grass became muddy, so they stayed on higher ground.
One of the two ridges between which they walked dwindled lower and became insignificant. That on the right hand rose with their advance, and terminated in a clearly defined edge against the light, as if it were abruptly sawn off. A little further, and the bed of the rivulet ended in the same fashion.
One of the two ridges they walked between shrank down and became unimportant. The one on their right rose as they moved forward and ended in a sharp edge against the light, almost like it was cut off cleanly. A bit farther along, the streambed ended in the same way.
They had come to a bank breast-high, and over it the valley was no longer to be seen. It was withdrawn cleanly and completely. In its place was sky and boundless atmosphere; and perpendicularly down beneath them—small and far off—lay the corrugated surface of the Atlantic.
They had arrived at a bank that was waist-high, and beyond it, the valley was completely out of sight. It had vanished entirely and without a trace. In its place was the sky and endless atmosphere; and straight down beneath them—small and distant—sat the rippled surface of the Atlantic.
The small stream here found its death. Running over the precipice it was dispersed in spray before it was half-way down, and falling like rain upon projecting ledges, made minute grassy meadows of them. At the bottom the water-drops soaked away amid the debris of the cliff. This was the inglorious end of the river.
The small stream came to its end here. As it flowed over the edge, it turned into spray before reaching halfway down, and fell like rain on the jutting ledges, creating tiny grassy meadows on them. At the bottom, the water drops soaked into the rubble of the cliff. This was the unremarkable end of the river.
“What are you looking for? said Knight, following the direction of her eyes.
“What are you looking for?” Knight asked, following the direction of her gaze.
She was gazing hard at a black object—nearer to the shore than to the horizon—from the summit of which came a nebulous haze, stretching like gauze over the sea.
She was staring intently at a black object—closer to the shore than to the horizon— from which a mist was rising, spreading like a sheer fabric over the sea.
“The Puffin, a little summer steamboat—from Bristol to Castle Boterel,” she said. “I think that is it—look. Will you give me the glass?”
“The Puffin, a small summer steamboat—from Bristol to Castle Boterel,” she said. “I think that's it—look. Can you pass me the glass?”
Knight pulled open the old-fashioned but powerful telescope, and handed it to Elfride, who had looked on with heavy eyes.
Knight opened the classic yet powerful telescope and handed it to Elfride, who had been watching with tired eyes.
“I can’t keep it up now,” she said.
“I can’t keep it up now,” she said.
“Rest it on my shoulder.”
"Lean on my shoulder."
“It is too high.”
"It's too high."
“Under my arm.”
"Under my arm."
“Too low. You may look instead,” she murmured weakly.
“Too low. You can look instead,” she whispered softly.
Knight raised the glass to his eye, and swept the sea till the Puffin entered its field.
Knight lifted the glass to his eye and scanned the sea until he spotted the Puffin entering its view.
“Yes, it is the Puffin—a tiny craft. I can see her figure-head distinctly—a bird with a beak as big as its head.”
“Yes, it’s the Puffin—a small boat. I can clearly see her figurehead—a bird with a beak as big as its head.”
“Can you see the deck?”
“Can you see the deck?”
“Wait a minute; yes, pretty clearly. And I can see the black forms of the passengers against its white surface. One of them has taken something from another—a glass, I think—yes, it is—and he is levelling it in this direction. Depend upon it we are conspicuous objects against the sky to them. Now, it seems to rain upon them, and they put on overcoats and open umbrellas. They vanish and go below—all but that one who has borrowed the glass. He is a slim young fellow, and still watches us.”
“Hold on a second; yeah, that’s pretty clear. I can see the dark shapes of the passengers against its white surface. One of them has taken something from another—probably a glass—yeah, it is—and he’s aiming it this way. We're definitely visible against the sky to them. Now, it looks like it’s starting to rain on them, so they’re putting on coats and opening umbrellas. They disappear below deck—all except for the one who borrowed the glass. He’s a slender young guy, and he’s still watching us.”
Elfride grew pale, and shifted her little feet uneasily.
Elfride turned pale and shifted her little feet uncomfortably.
Knight lowered the glass.
Knight put down the glass.
“I think we had better return,” he said. “That cloud which is raining on them may soon reach us. Why, you look ill. How is that?”
“I think we should head back,” he said. “That cloud that’s raining on them might reach us soon. You look unwell. What’s going on?”
“Something in the air affects my face.”
“Something in the air is affecting my face.”
“Those fair cheeks are very fastidious, I fear,” returned Knight tenderly. “This air would make those rosy that were never so before, one would think—eh, Nature’s spoilt child?”
“Those pretty cheeks are quite delicate, I’m afraid,” Knight replied gently. “You’d think this air would make even the ones that have never been rosy before blush—right, Nature’s spoiled child?”
Elfride’s colour returned again.
Elfride’s color returned again.
“There is more to see behind us, after all,” said Knight.
“There’s more to see behind us, after all,” said Knight.
She turned her back upon the boat and Stephen Smith, and saw, towering still higher than themselves, the vertical face of the hill on the right, which did not project seaward so far as the bed of the valley, but formed the back of a small cove, and so was visible like a concave wall, bending round from their position towards the left.
She turned away from the boat and Stephen Smith, and saw, rising even higher than they were, the steep face of the hill on the right. This hill didn't stretch out to the sea as far as the valley did, but made up the back of a small cove, appearing like a curved wall that wrapped around from their spot to the left.
The composition of the huge hill was revealed to its backbone and marrow here at its rent extremity. It consisted of a vast stratification of blackish-gray slate, unvaried in its whole height by a single change of shade.
The structure of the massive hill was exposed at its torn edge, showing its core and inner layers. It was made up of a thick layer of dark gray slate, consistent in color without any variation throughout its entire height.
It is with cliffs and mountains as with persons; they have what is called a presence, which is not necessarily proportionate to their actual bulk. A little cliff will impress you powerfully; a great one not at all. It depends, as with man, upon the countenance of the cliff.
It’s the same with cliffs and mountains as it is with people: they have what’s called a presence, which doesn’t always match their actual size. A small cliff can leave a strong impression; a huge one might not affect you at all. Like with people, it depends on the expression of the cliff.
“I cannot bear to look at that cliff,” said Elfride. “It has a horrid personality, and makes me shudder. We will go.”
“I can't stand looking at that cliff,” Elfride said. “It has a terrible vibe, and it makes me shiver. Let's go.”
“Can you climb?” said Knight. “If so, we will ascend by that path over the grim old fellow’s brow.”
“Can you climb?” asked Knight. “If you can, we’ll take that path over the old guy’s forehead.”
“Try me,” said Elfride disdainfully. “I have ascended steeper slopes than that.”
“Go ahead, try me,” Elfride said with a hint of disdain. “I've tackled much tougher challenges than that.”
From where they had been loitering, a grassy path wound along inside a bank, placed as a safeguard for unwary pedestrians, to the top of the precipice, and over it along the hill in an inland direction.
From where they had been hanging out, a grassy path curved along inside a slope, set up as a safety measure for unsuspecting walkers, leading to the edge of the cliff, and over it along the hillside towards the interior.
“Take my arm, Miss Swancourt,” said Knight.
“Take my arm, Miss Swancourt,” said Knight.
“I can get on better without it, thank you.”
“I can manage just fine without it, thanks.”
When they were one quarter of the way up, Elfride stopped to take breath. Knight stretched out his hand.
When they were a quarter of the way up, Elfride paused to catch her breath. Knight reached out his hand.
She took it, and they ascended the remaining slope together. Reaching the very top, they sat down to rest by mutual consent.
She took it, and they climbed the rest of the slope together. When they reached the top, they agreed to sit down and rest.
“Heavens, what an altitude!” said Knight between his pants, and looking far over the sea. The cascade at the bottom of the slope appeared a mere span in height from where they were now.
“Heavens, what an altitude!” said Knight, catching his breath and gazing out over the sea. The waterfall at the bottom of the slope looked tiny from their vantage point.
Elfride was looking to the left. The steamboat was in full view again, and by reason of the vast surface of sea their higher position uncovered it seemed almost close to the shore.
Elfride was looking to the left. The steamboat was back in sight, and because of the wide expanse of the sea, their elevated spot made it look almost like it was right by the shore.
“Over that edge,” said Knight, “where nothing but vacancy appears, is a moving compact mass. The wind strikes the face of the rock, runs up it, rises like a fountain to a height far above our heads, curls over us in an arch, and disperses behind us. In fact, an inverted cascade is there—as perfect as the Niagara Falls—but rising instead of falling, and air instead of water. Now look here.”
“Over that edge,” said Knight, “where all you see is emptiness, there’s a moving, solid mass. The wind hits the rock face, climbs up it, shoots up like a fountain to a height way above us, arches over our heads, and spreads out behind us. In fact, there’s an upside-down waterfall there—just as impressive as Niagara Falls—but it’s rising instead of falling, and it’s air instead of water. Now check this out.”
Knight threw a stone over the bank, aiming it as if to go onward over the cliff. Reaching the verge, it towered into the air like a bird, turned back, and alighted on the ground behind them. They themselves were in a dead calm.
Knight tossed a stone over the bank, aiming it to go over the cliff. As it reached the edge, it shot into the air like a bird, turned back, and landed on the ground behind them. They were completely still.
“A boat crosses Niagara immediately at the foot of the falls, where the water is quite still, the fallen mass curving under it. We are in precisely the same position with regard to our atmospheric cataract here. If you run back from the cliff fifty yards, you will be in a brisk wind. Now I daresay over the bank is a little backward current.”
“A boat crosses Niagara right at the base of the falls, where the water is pretty calm, the massive cascade curving under it. We're in exactly the same spot with our atmospheric waterfall here. If you move back from the edge fifty yards, you'll hit a strong wind. Now I bet there's a slight backward current over the edge.”
Knight rose and leant over the bank. No sooner was his head above it than his hat appeared to be sucked from his head—slipping over his forehead in a seaward direction.
Knight got up and leaned over the bank. No sooner had his head cleared it than his hat seemed to be pulled off his head—slipping over his forehead and heading toward the sea.
“That’s the backward eddy, as I told you,” he cried, and vanished over the little bank after his hat.
“That’s the backward eddy, as I mentioned,” he shouted, and disappeared over the small bank after his hat.
Elfride waited one minute; he did not return. She waited another, and there was no sign of him.
Elfride waited for a minute; he didn’t come back. She waited another minute, and there was no sign of him.
A few drops of rain fell, then a sudden shower.
A few drops of rain came down, then a sudden downpour.
She arose, and looked over the bank. On the other side were two or three yards of level ground—then a short steep preparatory slope—then the verge of the precipice.
She got up and looked over the bank. On the other side were a couple of yards of flat ground—then a short, steep slope—then the edge of the cliff.
On the slope was Knight, his hat on his head. He was on his hands and knees, trying to climb back to the level ground. The rain had wetted the shaly surface of the incline. A slight superficial wetting of the soil hereabout made it far more slippery to stand on than the same soil thoroughly drenched. The inner substance was still hard, and was lubricated by the moistened film.
On the slope was Knight, his hat on his head. He was on his hands and knees, trying to climb back to the level ground. The rain had soaked the shaly surface of the incline. A slight superficial wetting of the soil around here made it much more slippery to stand on than the same soil completely drenched. The inner substance was still hard and was slicked by the wet film.
“I find a difficulty in getting back,” said Knight.
“I find it hard to get back,” said Knight.
Elfride’s heart fell like lead.
Elfride’s heart sank like lead.
“But you can get back?” she wildly inquired.
“But you can get back?” she asked excitedly.
Knight strove with all his might for two or three minutes, and the drops of perspiration began to bead his brow.
Knight struggled with all his strength for two or three minutes, and sweat started to bead on his forehead.
“No, I am unable to do it,” he answered.
“No, I can't do it,” he replied.
Elfride, by a wrench of thought, forced away from her mind the sensation that Knight was in bodily danger. But attempt to help him she must. She ventured upon the treacherous incline, propped herself with the closed telescope, and gave him her hand before he saw her movements.
Elfride, with a sudden shift in her thoughts, pushed aside the feeling that Knight was in physical danger. But she had to try to help him. She made her way onto the slippery slope, used the closed telescope for support, and offered him her hand before he noticed what she was doing.
“O Elfride! why did you?” said he. “I am afraid you have only endangered yourself.”
“O Elfride! Why did you?” he said. “I’m afraid you’ve only put yourself in danger.”
And as if to prove his statement, in making an endeavour by her assistance they both slipped lower, and then he was again stayed. His foot was propped by a bracket of quartz rock, balanced on the verge of the precipice. Fixed by this, he steadied her, her head being about a foot below the beginning of the slope. Elfride had dropped the glass; it rolled to the edge and vanished over it into a nether sky.
And as if to support his statement, while trying with her help, they both slipped lower, and then he was stuck again. His foot was resting on a quartz rock ledge, balanced at the edge of the cliff. With this, he steadied her, her head being about a foot below the start of the slope. Elfride had dropped the glass; it rolled to the edge and disappeared into the abyss below.
“Hold tightly to me,” he said.
“Hold on to me," he said.
She flung her arms round his neck with such a firm grasp that whilst he remained it was impossible for her to fall.
She wrapped her arms around his neck so tightly that while he stayed put, it was impossible for her to fall.
“Don’t be flurried,” Knight continued. “So long as we stay above this block we are perfectly safe. Wait a moment whilst I consider what we had better do.”
“Don’t panic,” Knight continued. “As long as we stay above this block, we’re totally secure. Give me a moment to think about what we should do next.”
He turned his eyes to the dizzy depths beneath them, and surveyed the position of affairs.
He looked down at the dizzy depths below and assessed the situation.
Two glances told him a tale with ghastly distinctness. It was that, unless they performed their feat of getting up the slope with the precision of machines, they were over the edge and whirling in mid-air.
Two glances told him a story with shocking clarity. It was that, unless they accomplished their task of climbing the slope with the precision of machines, they were going to fall off the edge and be spiraling through the air.
For this purpose it was necessary that he should recover the breath and strength which his previous efforts had cost him. So he still waited, and looked in the face of the enemy.
For this reason, he needed to catch his breath and regain the strength that his earlier efforts had taken from him. So he continued to wait and stared at the face of the enemy.
The crest of this terrible natural facade passed among the neighbouring inhabitants as being seven hundred feet above the water it overhung. It had been proved by actual measurement to be not a foot less than six hundred and fifty.
The top of this daunting natural structure was reported by nearby residents to be seven hundred feet above the water it overlooked. Actual measurements confirmed that it was at least six hundred and fifty feet tall.
That is to say, it is nearly three times the height of Flamborough, half as high again as the South Foreland, a hundred feet higher than Beachy Head—the loftiest promontory on the east or south side of this island—twice the height of St. Aldhelm’s, thrice as high as the Lizard, and just double the height of St. Bee’s. One sea-bord point on the western coast is known to surpass it in altitude, but only by a few feet. This is Great Orme’s Head, in Caernarvonshire.
That means it's almost three times the height of Flamborough, one and a half times higher than South Foreland, a hundred feet taller than Beachy Head—the highest cliff on the east or south side of this island—twice the height of St. Aldhelm’s, three times as high as the Lizard, and just double the height of St. Bee’s. There's one coastal point on the western shore that is known to be taller, but only by a few feet. That’s Great Orme’s Head in Caernarvonshire.
And it must be remembered that the cliff exhibits an intensifying feature which some of those are without—sheer perpendicularity from the half-tide level.
And it's important to note that the cliff has a unique characteristic that some others lack—sheer verticality from the halfway tide mark.
Yet this remarkable rampart forms no headland: it rather walls in an inlet—the promontory on each side being much lower. Thus, far from being salient, its horizontal section is concave. The sea, rolling direct from the shores of North America, has in fact eaten a chasm into the middle of a hill, and the giant, embayed and unobtrusive, stands in the rear of pigmy supporters. Not least singularly, neither hill, chasm, nor precipice has a name. On this account I will call the precipice the Cliff without a Name.*
Yet this impressive barrier doesn’t create a headland; instead, it encloses an inlet, with the promontories on either side being much lower. So, rather than being prominent, its horizontal profile is curved inward. The sea, crashing directly from the shores of North America, has actually carved a gap into the center of a hill, and the massive, tucked-away formation stands behind much smaller supporting hills. Strangely enough, neither the hill, the chasm, nor the cliff has a name. For this reason, I will refer to the cliff as the Cliff without a Name.*
* See Preface
* See Introduction
What gave an added terror to its height was its blackness. And upon this dark face the beating of ten thousand west winds had formed a kind of bloom, which had a visual effect not unlike that of a Hambro’ grape. Moreover it seemed to float off into the atmosphere, and inspire terror through the lungs.
What made its height even more terrifying was its blackness. On this dark surface, the relentless beating of ten thousand west winds had created a kind of bloom, visually resembling a Hambro’ grape. Additionally, it appeared to drift into the atmosphere, instilling fear with every breath.
“This piece of quartz, supporting my feet, is on the very nose of the cliff,” said Knight, breaking the silence after his rigid stoical meditation. “Now what you are to do is this. Clamber up my body till your feet are on my shoulders: when you are there you will, I think, be able to climb on to level ground.”
“This piece of quartz under my feet is right on the edge of the cliff,” said Knight, breaking the silence after his intense, calm meditation. “Now here’s what you need to do. Climb up my body until your feet are on my shoulders; once you’re there, I think you’ll be able to get onto flat ground.”
“What will you do?”
"What are you going to do?"
“Wait whilst you run for assistance.”
“Wait while you go get help.”
“I ought to have done that in the first place, ought I not?”
“I should have done that in the first place, right?”
“I was in the act of slipping, and should have reached no stand-point without your weight, in all probability. But don’t let us talk. Be brave, Elfride, and climb.”
“I was about to slip, and I probably wouldn’t have been able to hold on without your support. But let’s not talk about that. Be brave, Elfride, and climb.”
She prepared to ascend, saying, “This is the moment I anticipated when on the tower. I thought it would come!”
She got ready to climb, saying, “This is the moment I expected when I was on the tower. I knew it would happen!”
“This is not a time for superstition,” said Knight. “Dismiss all that.”
“This isn’t a time for superstition,” Knight said. “Forget all that.”
“I will,” she said humbly.
“I will,” she said.
“Now put your foot into my hand: next the other. That’s good—well done. Hold to my shoulder.”
“Now put your foot in my hand: now the other one. That’s great—well done. Hold on to my shoulder.”
She placed her feet upon the stirrup he made of his hand, and was high enough to get a view of the natural surface of the hill over the bank.
She put her feet in the stirrup he made with his hand and was high enough to see the natural surface of the hill over the bank.
“Can you now climb on to level ground?”
“Can you now get up to level ground?”
“I am afraid not. I will try.”
“I’m afraid not. I’ll give it a try.”
“What can you see?”
"What do you see?"
“The sloping common.”
"The sloped area."
“What upon it?”
"What's going on?"
“Purple heather and some grass.”
"Purple heather and grass."
“Nothing more—no man or human being of any kind?”
“Nothing else—no man or human of any kind?”
“Nobody.”
“Nobody.”
“Now try to get higher in this way. You see that tuft of sea-pink above you. Get that well into your hand, but don’t trust to it entirely. Then step upon my shoulder, and I think you will reach the top.”
“Now try to climb higher this way. You see that patch of sea-pink above you? Grab onto it tightly, but don’t rely on it completely. Then step on my shoulder, and I think you’ll be able to reach the top.”
With trembling limbs she did exactly as he told her. The preternatural quiet and solemnity of his manner overspread upon herself, and gave her a courage not her own. She made a spring from the top of his shoulder, and was up.
With shaking limbs, she did exactly what he instructed her to do. The unnatural calm and seriousness of his demeanor washed over her and gave her a confidence that wasn't hers. She leaped from the top of his shoulder and got up.
Then she turned to look at him.
Then she turned to look at him.
By an ill fate, the force downwards of her bound, added to his own weight, had been too much for the block of quartz upon which his feet depended. It was, indeed, originally an igneous protrusion into the enormous masses of black strata, which had since been worn away from the sides of the alien fragment by centuries of frost and rain, and now left it without much support.
By a stroke of bad luck, the downward force of her bindings, combined with his own weight, had been too much for the block of quartz beneath his feet. It was, in fact, originally an igneous formation that jutted into the massive layers of black rock, which had since been eroded from the sides of the foreign fragment by centuries of frost and rain, leaving it with very little support.
It moved. Knight seized a tuft of sea-pink with each hand.
It moved. Knight grabbed a bunch of sea-pink in each hand.
The quartz rock which had been his salvation was worse than useless now. It rolled over, out of sight, and away into the same nether sky that had engulfed the telescope.
The quartz rock that had saved him was now totally worthless. It rolled away, out of sight, and vanished into the same dark sky that had swallowed the telescope.
One of the tufts by which he held came out at the root, and Knight began to follow the quartz. It was a terrible moment. Elfride uttered a low wild wail of agony, bowed her head, and covered her face with her hands.
One of the tufts he was holding came loose at the root, and Knight started to trace the quartz. It was an awful moment. Elfride let out a low, wild cry of pain, bowed her head, and covered her face with her hands.
Between the turf-covered slope and the gigantic perpendicular rock intervened a weather-worn series of jagged edges, forming a face yet steeper than the former slope. As he slowly slid inch by inch upon these, Knight made a last desperate dash at the lowest tuft of vegetation—the last outlying knot of starved herbage ere the rock appeared in all its bareness. It arrested his further descent. Knight was now literally suspended by his arms; but the incline of the brow being what engineers would call about a quarter in one, it was sufficient to relieve his arms of a portion of his weight, but was very far from offering an adequately flat face to support him.
Between the grassy slope and the massive vertical rock was a weathered series of jagged edges, creating a face that was even steeper than the earlier slope. As he slowly slipped down inch by inch, Knight made one last desperate grab at the lowest patch of vegetation—the final outpost of thin, struggling plants before the rock appeared in its complete barrenness. It halted his further descent. Knight was now literally hanging by his arms; however, with the incline being what engineers would call about a quarter in one, it was enough to take some of his weight off his arms, but it was still far from being a flat surface to support him.
In spite of this dreadful tension of body and mind, Knight found time for a moment of thankfulness. Elfride was safe.
Despite this awful stress on both body and mind, Knight took a moment to feel thankful. Elfride was safe.
She lay on her side above him—her fingers clasped. Seeing him again steady, she jumped upon her feet.
She lay on her side above him—her fingers locked together. When she saw him steady again, she jumped to her feet.
“Now, if I can only save you by running for help!” she cried. “Oh, I would have died instead! Why did you try so hard to deliver me?” And she turned away wildly to run for assistance.
“Now, if I can just save you by getting help!” she exclaimed. “Oh, I would have rather died! Why did you try so hard to rescue me?” And she turned away frantically to go get assistance.
“Elfride, how long will it take you to run to Endelstow and back?”
“Elfride, how long will it take you to run to Endelstow and back?”
“Three-quarters of an hour.”
"Forty-five minutes."
“That won’t do; my hands will not hold out ten minutes. And is there nobody nearer?”
“That won’t work; my hands can’t take it for ten minutes. Is there no one closer?”
“No; unless a chance passer may happen to be.”
"No; unless a random passerby happens to be."
“He would have nothing with him that could save me. Is there a pole or stick of any kind on the common?”
“He wouldn’t have anything with him that could help me. Is there a pole or stick of any kind on the common?”
She gazed around. The common was bare of everything but heather and grass.
She looked around. The common was empty except for heather and grass.
A minute—perhaps more time—was passed in mute thought by both. On a sudden the blank and helpless agony left her face. She vanished over the bank from his sight.
A minute—maybe more—was spent in silent contemplation by both of them. Suddenly, the vacant and desperate look faded from her face. She disappeared over the bank, out of his sight.
Knight felt himself in the presence of a personalized loneliness.
Knight felt a deep sense of loneliness that was uniquely his own.
Chapter XXII
“A woman’s way.”
"Her way."
Haggard cliffs, of every ugly altitude, are as common as sea-fowl along the line of coast between Exmoor and Land’s End; but this outflanked and encompassed specimen was the ugliest of them all. Their summits are not safe places for scientific experiment on the principles of air-currents, as Knight had now found, to his dismay.
Haggard cliffs of every unpleasant height are as common as seabirds along the coastline between Exmoor and Land’s End; but this particular cliff, surrounded and overshadowed by others, was the ugliest of them all. Their peaks are not reliable spots for scientific experiments on air currents, as Knight had just discovered, to his disappointment.
He still clutched the face of the escarpment—not with the frenzied hold of despair, but with a dogged determination to make the most of his every jot of endurance, and so give the longest possible scope to Elfride’s intentions, whatever they might be.
He still held onto the edge of the cliff—not with the frantic grip of despair, but with a stubborn resolve to make the most of every bit of his strength, allowing Elfride’s intentions, whatever they might be, to unfold as much as possible.
He reclined hand in hand with the world in its infancy. Not a blade, not an insect, which spoke of the present, was between him and the past. The inveterate antagonism of these black precipices to all strugglers for life is in no way more forcibly suggested than by the paucity of tufts of grass, lichens, or confervae on their outermost ledges.
He lay back, hand in hand with a world that's just beginning. Not a blade of grass, not an insect that represented the present, stood between him and the past. The deep hostility of these dark cliffs toward anyone fighting for survival is made clear by the lack of clumps of grass, lichens, or algae on their highest edges.
Knight pondered on the meaning of Elfride’s hasty disappearance, but could not avoid an instinctive conclusion that there existed but a doubtful hope for him. As far as he could judge, his sole chance of deliverance lay in the possibility of a rope or pole being brought; and this possibility was remote indeed. The soil upon these high downs was left so untended that they were unenclosed for miles, except by a casual bank or dry wall, and were rarely visited but for the purpose of collecting or counting the flock which found a scanty means of subsistence thereon.
Knight thought about why Elfride had suddenly vanished, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that his hope was quite uncertain. From what he could tell, his only chance of rescue relied on the slim possibility of someone bringing him a rope or a pole; and that chance was very unlikely. The land on these high hills was so neglected that it remained open for miles, bordered only by the occasional bank or dry wall, and was seldom visited except to gather or count the sheep that barely survived there.
At first, when death appeared improbable, because it had never visited him before, Knight could think of no future, nor of anything connected with his past. He could only look sternly at Nature’s treacherous attempt to put an end to him, and strive to thwart her.
At first, when death seemed unlikely, since it had never come for him before, Knight couldn't envision a future or anything related to his past. He could only glare at Nature's deceitful effort to end his life and fight back against it.
From the fact that the cliff formed the inner face of the segment of a huge cylinder, having the sky for a top and the sea for a bottom, which enclosed the cove to the extent of more than a semicircle, he could see the vertical face curving round on each side of him. He looked far down the facade, and realized more thoroughly how it threatened him. Grimness was in every feature, and to its very bowels the inimical shape was desolation.
From the fact that the cliff made up the inner side of a massive cylinder, with the sky above and the sea below, which enclosed the cove over more than a semicircle, he could see the vertical face curving around him on both sides. He looked far down the face and understood even more clearly how it loomed ominously over him. Every detail was grim, and at its core, the menacing shape was pure desolation.
By one of those familiar conjunctions of things wherewith the inanimate world baits the mind of man when he pauses in moments of suspense, opposite Knight’s eyes was an imbedded fossil, standing forth in low relief from the rock. It was a creature with eyes. The eyes, dead and turned to stone, were even now regarding him. It was one of the early crustaceans called Trilobites. Separated by millions of years in their lives, Knight and this underling seemed to have met in their death. It was the single instance within reach of his vision of anything that had ever been alive and had had a body to save, as he himself had now.
By one of those familiar coincidences where the inanimate world grabs our attention during tense moments, Knight found himself staring at a fossil embedded in the rock right in front of him. It was a creature with eyes. The eyes, long dead and turned to stone, seemed to be gazing back at him. It was one of the earliest crustaceans known as Trilobites. Separated by millions of years, Knight and this ancient being appeared to have crossed paths in their death. It was the only instance within his line of sight of anything that had once been alive and had a body to preserve, just like he did now.
The creature represented but a low type of animal existence, for never in their vernal years had the plains indicated by those numberless slaty layers been traversed by an intelligence worthy of the name. Zoophytes, mollusca, shell-fish, were the highest developments of those ancient dates. The immense lapses of time each formation represented had known nothing of the dignity of man. They were grand times, but they were mean times too, and mean were their relics. He was to be with the small in his death.
The creature represented a low form of animal life, as the plains marked by those countless gray layers had never been crossed by any intelligence that deserved the name. Zoophytes, mollusks, and shellfish were the highest forms of life back then. The vast stretches of time each layer represented were untouched by the dignity of humanity. They were significant periods, but they were also insignificant, and so were their remnants. In his death, he was meant to be among the small.
Knight was a geologist; and such is the supremacy of habit over occasion, as a pioneer of the thoughts of men, that at this dreadful juncture his mind found time to take in, by a momentary sweep, the varied scenes that had had their day between this creature’s epoch and his own. There is no place like a cleft landscape for bringing home such imaginings as these.
Knight was a geologist, and the power of habit over circumstance is so strong that, at this terrible moment, his mind took a quick sweep through the different scenes that had existed between this creature's time and his own. There's no setting quite like a rugged landscape to evoke thoughts like these.
Time closed up like a fan before him. He saw himself at one extremity of the years, face to face with the beginning and all the intermediate centuries simultaneously. Fierce men, clothed in the hides of beasts, and carrying, for defence and attack, huge clubs and pointed spears, rose from the rock, like the phantoms before the doomed Macbeth. They lived in hollows, woods, and mud huts—perhaps in caves of the neighbouring rocks. Behind them stood an earlier band. No man was there. Huge elephantine forms, the mastodon, the hippopotamus, the tapir, antelopes of monstrous size, the megatherium, and the myledon—all, for the moment, in juxtaposition. Further back, and overlapped by these, were perched huge-billed birds and swinish creatures as large as horses. Still more shadowy were the sinister crocodilian outlines—alligators and other uncouth shapes, culminating in the colossal lizard, the iguanodon. Folded behind were dragon forms and clouds of flying reptiles: still underneath were fishy beings of lower development; and so on, till the lifetime scenes of the fossil confronting him were a present and modern condition of things. These images passed before Knight’s inner eye in less than half a minute, and he was again considering the actual present. Was he to die? The mental picture of Elfride in the world, without himself to cherish her, smote his heart like a whip. He had hoped for deliverance, but what could a girl do? He dared not move an inch. Was Death really stretching out his hand? The previous sensation, that it was improbable he would die, was fainter now.
Time closed in on him like a fan. He found himself at one end of the years, face to face with the beginning and all the centuries in between all at once. Fierce men dressed in animal hides, wielding large clubs and sharp spears for defense and attack, rose from the rock, like phantoms before the doomed Macbeth. They lived in hollows, forests, and mud huts—maybe even in the caves of the nearby rocks. Behind them stood an earlier group. There were no humans there. Massive creatures like the mastodon, hippopotamus, tapir, giant-sized antelopes, megatherium, and mylodon—all momentarily existing side by side. Further back, overlapping these, were large-billed birds and pig-like creatures as big as horses. Even more shadowy were the sinister outlines of crocodilians—alligators and other strange shapes, culminating in the gigantic lizard, the iguanodon. Hidden behind them were dragon-like forms and clouds of flying reptiles; underneath them were fish-like beings of lower development; and so on, until the scenes of the fossilized life forms he was facing became a present and modern reality. These images flashed before Knight’s mind in less than half a minute, and he was back to considering the actual present. Was he going to die? The thought of Elfride in the world, without him to care for her, hit his heart like a whip. He had hoped for a way out, but what could a girl do? He didn’t dare move an inch. Was Death really reaching out to him? The earlier feeling that it was unlikely he would die was now fading.
However, Knight still clung to the cliff.
However, Knight still held on to the cliff.
To those musing weather-beaten West-country folk who pass the greater part of their days and nights out of doors, Nature seems to have moods in other than a poetical sense: predilections for certain deeds at certain times, without any apparent law to govern or season to account for them. She is read as a person with a curious temper; as one who does not scatter kindnesses and cruelties alternately, impartially, and in order, but heartless severities or overwhelming generosities in lawless caprice. Man’s case is always that of the prodigal’s favourite or the miser’s pensioner. In her unfriendly moments there seems a feline fun in her tricks, begotten by a foretaste of her pleasure in swallowing the victim.
To those weathered folks from the West Country who spend most of their days and nights outdoors, nature seems to have moods that go beyond just a poetic interpretation: preferences for certain actions at specific times, with no clear reason or season to explain them. She’s perceived as a person with a quirky temperament; someone who doesn’t hand out kindness and cruelty in a random or fair way, but rather delivers harshness or overwhelming generosity without any rules. Humanity often finds itself in the position of either the favorite of a spendthrift or the dependent of a miser. In her unkind moments, there's a playful malice in her tricks, hinting at her enjoyment in swallowing her prey.
Such a way of thinking had been absurd to Knight, but he began to adopt it now. He was first spitted on to a rock. New tortures followed. The rain increased, and persecuted him with an exceptional persistency which he was moved to believe owed its cause to the fact that he was in such a wretched state already. An entirely new order of things could be observed in this introduction of rain upon the scene. It rained upwards instead of down. The strong ascending air carried the rain-drops with it in its race up the escarpment, coming to him with such velocity that they stuck into his flesh like cold needles. Each drop was virtually a shaft, and it pierced him to his skin. The water-shafts seemed to lift him on their points: no downward rain ever had such a torturing effect. In a brief space he was drenched, except in two places. These were on the top of his shoulders and on the crown of his hat.
Such a way of thinking had seemed ridiculous to Knight, but he began to embrace it now. He was first pinned against a rock. New tortures followed. The rain intensified, relentlessly attacking him, which made him feel it was because he was already in such a miserable state. A completely new phenomenon could be seen with the introduction of rain into the situation. It rained upwards instead of downwards. The strong rising air carried the raindrops with it as it raced up the cliff, hitting him with such force that they embedded themselves in his skin like cold needles. Each drop felt like an arrow, piercing him to the bone. The water arrows seemed to lift him on their tips: no falling rain had ever inflicted such torment. In a short time, he was soaked, except for two spots. These were on the tops of his shoulders and the crown of his hat.
The wind, though not intense in other situations was strong here. It tugged at his coat and lifted it. We are mostly accustomed to look upon all opposition which is not animate, as that of the stolid, inexorable hand of indifference, which wears out the patience more than the strength. Here, at any rate, hostility did not assume that slow and sickening form. It was a cosmic agency, active, lashing, eager for conquest: determination; not an insensate standing in the way.
The wind, while not severe in other cases, was powerful here. It pulled at his coat and lifted it. We usually tend to see all non-living forces as the unyielding, relentless hand of indifference, which tests our patience more than our strength. Here, at least, the opposition didn’t take that slow and frustrating form. It was a cosmic force, dynamic, whipping around, eager for victory: determination; not a mindless obstacle in the way.
Knight had over-estimated the strength of his hands. They were getting weak already. “She will never come again; she has been gone ten minutes,” he said to himself.
Knight had overestimated the strength of his hands. They were already growing weak. “She’s never coming back; it’s been ten minutes,” he said to himself.
This mistake arose from the unusual compression of his experiences just now: she had really been gone but three.
This mistake came from the strange way he was compressing his experiences right now: she had actually only been gone for three.
“As many more minutes will be my end,” he thought.
“As many more minutes will be my end,” he thought.
Next came another instance of the incapacity of the mind to make comparisons at such times.
Next came another example of the mind's inability to make comparisons during such moments.
“This is a summer afternoon,” he said, “and there can never have been such a heavy and cold rain on a summer day in my life before.”
“This is a summer afternoon,” he said, “and I’ve never experienced such heavy and cold rain on a summer day before.”
He was again mistaken. The rain was quite ordinary in quantity; the air in temperature. It was, as is usual, the menacing attitude in which they approached him that magnified their powers.
He was wrong once more. The rain was pretty normal in amount; the air temperature was nothing unusual. As usual, it was the threatening way they approached him that made them feel more powerful.
He again looked straight downwards, the wind and the water-dashes lifting his moustache, scudding up his cheeks, under his eyelids, and into his eyes. This is what he saw down there: the surface of the sea—visually just past his toes, and under his feet; actually one-eighth of a mile, or more than two hundred yards, below them. We colour according to our moods the objects we survey. The sea would have been a deep neutral blue, had happier auspices attended the gazer it was now no otherwise than distinctly black to his vision. That narrow white border was foam, he knew well; but its boisterous tosses were so distant as to appear a pulsation only, and its plashing was barely audible. A white border to a black sea—his funeral pall and its edging.
He looked straight down again, the wind and water splashes lifting his mustache, brushing against his cheeks, under his eyelids, and into his eyes. This is what he saw below: the surface of the sea—visibly just past his toes and under his feet; actually one-eighth of a mile, or more than two hundred yards, beneath them. We color the things we see based on our moods. The sea would have been a deep neutral blue if the circumstances had been happier, but to him, it appeared distinctly black. He recognized that narrow white border as foam; however, its wild movements were so far away that they seemed more like a pulse, and the sounds were barely audible. A white border around a black sea—his funeral shroud and its trim.
The world was to some extent turned upside down for him. Rain descended from below. Beneath his feet was aerial space and the unknown; above him was the firm, familiar ground, and upon it all that he loved best.
The world was somewhat flipped for him. Rain fell upwards. Beneath him was open air and the unknown; above him was solid, familiar ground, where everything he loved the most was.
Pitiless nature had then two voices, and two only. The nearer was the voice of the wind in his ears rising and falling as it mauled and thrust him hard or softly. The second and distant one was the moan of that unplummetted ocean below and afar—rubbing its restless flank against the Cliff without a Name.
Pitiless nature had then two voices, and only two. The closer one was the sound of the wind in his ears, rising and falling as it battered and pushed him hard or softly. The second, more distant voice was the moan of the unmeasured ocean below and far away—scraping its restless side against the Cliff without a Name.
Knight perseveringly held fast. Had he any faith in Elfride? Perhaps. Love is faith, and faith, like a gathered flower, will rootlessly live on.
Knight stubbornly held on. Did he have any faith in Elfride? Maybe. Love is faith, and faith, like a picked flower, will cling to life without roots.
Nobody would have expected the sun to shine on such an evening as this. Yet it appeared, low down upon the sea. Not with its natural golden fringe, sweeping the furthest ends of the landscape, not with the strange glare of whiteness which it sometimes puts on as an alternative to colour, but as a splotch of vermilion red upon a leaden ground—a red face looking on with a drunken leer.
Nobody would have expected the sun to shine on an evening like this. Yet it appeared, low over the sea. Not with its usual golden glow, lighting up the farthest reaches of the landscape, not with the odd, bright glare it sometimes adopts instead of color, but as a patch of vermilion red against a gray sky—a red face gazing down with a tipsy grin.
Most men who have brains know it, and few are so foolish as to disguise this fact from themselves or others, even though an ostentatious display may be called self-conceit. Knight, without showing it much, knew that his intellect was above the average. And he thought—he could not help thinking—that his death would be a deliberate loss to earth of good material; that such an experiment in killing might have been practised upon some less developed life.
Most men who are smart know it, and few are so foolish as to hide this from themselves or others, even if showing it off might be seen as arrogance. Knight, while not flaunting it, was aware that he was more intelligent than most. And he thought—he couldn’t help but think—that his death would be a significant loss to the world; that such an act of killing could have been done to someone less evolved.
A fancy some people hold, when in a bitter mood, is that inexorable circumstance only tries to prevent what intelligence attempts. Renounce a desire for a long-contested position, and go on another tack, and after a while the prize is thrown at you, seemingly in disappointment that no more tantalizing is possible.
A belief some people have, when feeling frustrated, is that relentless circumstances only try to block what our intelligence aims for. Let go of the desire for a long-fought-over goal and change your approach, and after some time, the reward is handed to you, almost as if it's disappointing that there's no more teasing to be done.
Knight gave up thoughts of life utterly and entirely, and turned to contemplate the Dark Valley and the unknown future beyond. Into the shadowy depths of these speculations we will not follow him. Let it suffice to state what ensued.
Knight completely abandoned thoughts of life and began to reflect on the Dark Valley and the uncertain future ahead. We won't delve into the murky details of his thoughts. It's enough to just say what happened next.
At that moment of taking no more thought for this life, something disturbed the outline of the bank above him. A spot appeared. It was the head of Elfride.
At that moment, without thinking about this life anymore, something disrupted the shape of the bank above him. A spot appeared. It was Elfride's head.
Knight immediately prepared to welcome life again.
Knight quickly got ready to embrace life once more.
The expression of a face consigned to utter loneliness, when a friend first looks in upon it, is moving in the extreme. In rowing seaward to a light-ship or sea-girt lighthouse, where, without any immediate terror of death, the inmates experience the gloom of monotonous seclusion, the grateful eloquence of their countenances at the greeting, expressive of thankfulness for the visit, is enough to stir the emotions of the most careless observer.
The look on a face that’s completely alone is incredibly touching when a friend first sees it. As they row out to a lightship or a lighthouse surrounded by water, where the people inside feel the heavy gloom of endless solitude but aren’t in any immediate danger of death, the grateful expressions on their faces when greeted, showing appreciation for the visit, can move even the most indifferent observer.
Knight’s upward look at Elfride was of a nature with, but far transcending, such an instance as this. The lines of his face had deepened to furrows, and every one of them thanked her visibly. His lips moved to the word “Elfride,” though the emotion evolved no sound. His eyes passed all description in their combination of the whole diapason of eloquence, from lover’s deep love to fellow-man’s gratitude for a token of remembrance from one of his kind.
Knight’s look up at Elfride was similar to, but much deeper than, anything like this. The lines on his face had turned into deep furrows, and each one of them seemed to express thanks to her. His lips formed the word “Elfride,” but no sound came out due to the emotion. His eyes were beyond words, combining every expression of feeling, from the deep love of a romantic partner to the gratitude of a fellow human acknowledging a kind gesture.
Elfride had come back. What she had come to do he did not know. She could only look on at his death, perhaps. Still, she had come back, and not deserted him utterly, and it was much.
Elfride had returned. He didn't know what her purpose was. Maybe she could only watch him die. Still, she was back and hadn’t abandoned him completely, and that meant a lot.
It was a novelty in the extreme to see Henry Knight, to whom Elfride was but a child, who had swayed her as a tree sways a bird’s nest, who mastered her and made her weep most bitterly at her own insignificance, thus thankful for a sight of her face. She looked down upon him, her face glistening with rain and tears. He smiled faintly.
It was something entirely new to see Henry Knight, who was just a child to Elfride, who had influenced her like a tree swaying a bird’s nest, who controlled her and made her cry bitterly about her own unimportance, now feeling grateful just to catch a glimpse of her face. She looked down at him, her face shiny with rain and tears. He smiled softly.
“How calm he is!” she thought. “How great and noble he is to be so calm!” She would have died ten times for him then.
“How calm he is!” she thought. “How great and noble he is to be so calm!” She would have sacrificed herself for him in that moment.
The gliding form of the steamboat caught her eye: she heeded it no longer.
The smooth shape of the steamboat caught her attention: she ignored it from then on.
“How much longer can you wait?” came from her pale lips and along the wind to his position.
“How much longer can you wait?” drifted from her pale lips on the wind to his spot.
“Four minutes,” said Knight in a weaker voice than her own.
“Four minutes,” Knight said, her voice sounding weaker than her own.
“But with a good hope of being saved?”
“But with a strong hope of being saved?”
“Seven or eight.”
“Seven or eight.”
He now noticed that in her arms she bore a bundle of white linen, and that her form was singularly attenuated. So preternaturally thin and flexible was Elfride at this moment, that she appeared to bend under the light blows of the rain-shafts, as they struck into her sides and bosom, and splintered into spray on her face. There is nothing like a thorough drenching for reducing the protuberances of clothes, but Elfride’s seemed to cling to her like a glove.
He now saw that in her arms she was carrying a bundle of white linen, and that her body was oddly thin. So unnaturally skinny and flexible was Elfride at that moment that she seemed to bend with the soft hits of the rain as it hit her sides and chest, spraying onto her face. There's nothing quite like getting completely soaked to make clothes cling tight, but Elfride's seemed to fit her like a glove.
Without heeding the attack of the clouds further than by raising her hand and wiping away the spirts of rain when they went more particularly into her eyes, she sat down and hurriedly began rending the linen into strips. These she knotted end to end, and afterwards twisted them like the strands of a cord. In a short space of time she had formed a perfect rope by this means, six or seven yards long.
Without paying much attention to the approaching storm, except for raising her hand to wipe the raindrops away from her eyes, she sat down and quickly started tearing the linen into strips. She then knotted them together, end to end, and twisted them like the strands of a cord. Before long, she had created a perfect rope that was six or seven yards long.
“Can you wait while I bind it?” she said, anxiously extending her gaze down to him.
“Can you wait while I tie it up?” she said, nervously looking down at him.
“Yes, if not very long. Hope has given me a wonderful instalment of strength.”
“Yes, not for very long. Hope has given me a great boost of strength.”
Elfride dropped her eyes again, tore the remaining material into narrow tape-like ligaments, knotted each to each as before, but on a smaller scale, and wound the lengthy string she had thus formed round and round the linen rope, which, without this binding, had a tendency to spread abroad.
Elfride lowered her gaze again, tore the leftover material into thin, tape-like strips, tied each one together as before, but on a smaller scale, and wrapped the long string she had made around the linen rope, which, without this binding, tended to unravel.
“Now,” said Knight, who, watching the proceedings intently, had by this time not only grasped her scheme, but reasoned further on, “I can hold three minutes longer yet. And do you use the time in testing the strength of the knots, one by one.”
“Now,” said Knight, who, observing the situation closely, had not only figured out her plan but had also thought it through further, “I can hold on for three more minutes. So take this time to test the strength of the knots, one by one.”
She at once obeyed, tested each singly by putting her foot on the rope between each knot, and pulling with her hands. One of the knots slipped.
She immediately followed instructions, checking each one individually by placing her foot on the rope between the knots and pulling with her hands. One of the knots came loose.
“Oh, think! It would have broken but for your forethought,” Elfride exclaimed apprehensively.
“Oh, think! It would have broken if it weren't for your careful planning,” Elfride said nervously.
She retied the two ends. The rope was now firm in every part.
She tied the two ends again. The rope was now tight in every section.
“When you have let it down,” said Knight, already resuming his position of ruling power, “go back from the edge of the slope, and over the bank as far as the rope will allow you. Then lean down, and hold the end with both hands.”
“When you’ve let it down,” Knight said, taking back his control, “step back from the edge of the slope and go over the bank as far as the rope lets you. Then lean down and hold the end with both hands.”
He had first thought of a safer plan for his own deliverance, but it involved the disadvantage of possibly endangering her life.
He initially considered a safer plan for his own escape, but it could put her life at risk.
“I have tied it round my waist,” she cried, “and I will lean directly upon the bank, holding with my hands as well.”
“I’ve tied it around my waist,” she shouted, “and I’ll lean right against the bank, holding on with my hands too.”
It was the arrangement he had thought of, but would not suggest.
It was the plan he had come up with, but wouldn’t propose.
“I will raise and drop it three times when I am behind the bank,” she continued, “to signify that I am ready. Take care, oh, take the greatest care, I beg you!”
“I will raise and drop it three times when I’m behind the bank,” she continued, “to show that I’m ready. Please, oh please, take the greatest care, I beg you!”
She dropped the rope over him, to learn how much of its length it would be necessary to expend on that side of the bank, went back, and disappeared as she had done before.
She dropped the rope over him to see how much of its length she would need to use on that side of the bank, then went back and vanished like she had before.
The rope was trailing by Knight’s shoulders. In a few moments it twitched three times.
The rope was hanging by Knight's shoulders. After a moment, it jerked three times.
He waited yet a second or two, then laid hold.
He waited for another second or two, then grabbed hold.
The incline of this upper portion of the precipice, to the length only of a few feet, useless to a climber empty-handed, was invaluable now. Not more than half his weight depended entirely on the linen rope. Half a dozen extensions of the arms, alternating with half a dozen seizures of the rope with his feet, brought him up to the level of the soil.
The slope of this upper part of the cliff, just a few feet long, was useless to a climber without gear but was priceless now. Only about half his weight was supported by the linen rope. A series of arm reaches, mixed with a few grabs of the rope with his feet, brought him up to the ground level.
He was saved, and by Elfride.
He was saved, and it was Elfride who did it.
He extended his cramped limbs like an awakened sleeper, and sprang over the bank.
He stretched his stiff limbs like someone who just woke up and jumped over the bank.
At sight of him she leapt to her feet with almost a shriek of joy. Knight’s eyes met hers, and with supreme eloquence the glance of each told a long-concealed tale of emotion in that short half-moment. Moved by an impulse neither could resist, they ran together and into each other’s arms.
At the sight of him, she jumped up with a near-shriek of joy. Knight's eyes met hers, and in that brief moment, their meaningful glance revealed a long-hidden story of feelings. Compelled by an irresistible impulse, they ran to each other and embraced.
At the moment of embracing, Elfride’s eyes involuntarily flashed towards the Puffin steamboat. It had doubled the point, and was no longer to be seen.
At the moment they embraced, Elfride's eyes involuntarily darted towards the Puffin steamboat. It had rounded the point and was no longer in sight.
An overwhelming rush of exultation at having delivered the man she revered from one of the most terrible forms of death, shook the gentle girl to the centre of her soul. It merged in a defiance of duty to Stephen, and a total recklessness as to plighted faith. Every nerve of her will was now in entire subjection to her feeling—volition as a guiding power had forsaken her. To remain passive, as she remained now, encircled by his arms, was a sufficiently complete result—a glorious crown to all the years of her life. Perhaps he was only grateful, and did not love her. No matter: it was infinitely more to be even the slave of the greater than the queen of the less. Some such sensation as this, though it was not recognized as a finished thought, raced along the impressionable soul of Elfride.
An overwhelming rush of joy at having saved the man she admired from one of the worst forms of death shook the gentle girl to her core. It turned into a defiance of her duty to Stephen and a complete recklessness regarding her promises. Every nerve of her will was now fully subject to her feelings—her ability to choose was gone. To stay passive, as she was now, wrapped in his arms, felt like a complete achievement—a glorious reward for all the years of her life. Maybe he was just thankful and didn’t love her. It didn’t matter: it was far better to be the servant of someone greater than to be the queen of someone lesser. A feeling like this, even though it wasn’t fully formed as a thought, raced through Elfride’s sensitive soul.
Regarding their attitude, it was impossible for two persons to go nearer to a kiss than went Knight and Elfride during those minutes of impulsive embrace in the pelting rain. Yet they did not kiss. Knight’s peculiarity of nature was such that it would not allow him to take advantage of the unguarded and passionate avowal she had tacitly made.
Regarding their attitude, it was impossible for two people to get closer to a kiss than Knight and Elfride did during those moments of impulsive embrace in the pouring rain. Yet they didn’t kiss. Knight’s unique nature prevented him from taking advantage of the unguarded and passionate confession she had implicitly made.
Elfride recovered herself, and gently struggled to be free.
Elfride got herself together and gently tried to break free.
He reluctantly relinquished her, and then surveyed her from crown to toe. She seemed as small as an infant. He perceived whence she had obtained the rope.
He hesitantly let her go, then looked her over from head to toe. She looked as tiny as a baby. He realized where she had gotten the rope.
“Elfride, my Elfride!” he exclaimed in gratified amazement.
“Elfride, my Elfride!” he exclaimed in delighted surprise.
“I must leave you now,” she said, her face doubling its red, with an expression between gladness and shame “You follow me, but at some distance.”
“I have to go now,” she said, her face turning redder, with a look that mixed happiness and embarrassment. “You can follow me, but keep your distance.”
“The rain and wind pierce you through; the chill will kill you. God bless you for such devotion! Take my coat and put it on.”
“The rain and wind cut right through you; the cold will get you. God bless you for being so dedicated! Here, take my coat and put it on.”
“No; I shall get warm running.”
“No; I’ll warm up by running.”
Elfride had absolutely nothing between her and the weather but her exterior robe or “costume.” The door had been made upon a woman’s wit, and it had found its way out. Behind the bank, whilst Knight reclined upon the dizzy slope waiting for death, she had taken off her whole clothing, and replaced only her outer bodice and skirt. Every thread of the remainder lay upon the ground in the form of a woollen and cotton rope.
Elfride had nothing between her and the weather except for her outer robe or "costume." The door had been crafted with a woman's cleverness, and it had been pushed open. While Knight lay back on the steep slope, awaiting death, she removed all her clothes and only put on her outer bodice and skirt. Every other piece lay on the ground like a wool and cotton rope.
“I am used to being wet through,” she added. “I have been drenched on Pansy dozens of times. Good-bye till we meet, clothed and in our right minds, by the fireside at home!”
“I’m used to being completely soaked,” she added. “I’ve been drenched on Pansy dozens of times. See you later until we meet, fully dressed and in our right minds, by the fireside at home!”
She then ran off from him through the pelting rain like a hare; or more like a pheasant when, scampering away with a lowered tail, it has a mind to fly, but does not. Elfride was soon out of sight.
She then ran away from him through the pouring rain like a rabbit; or more like a pheasant that, darting off with its tail down, wants to fly but can’t. Elfride was soon out of sight.
Knight felt uncomfortably wet and chilled, but glowing with fervour nevertheless. He fully appreciated Elfride’s girlish delicacy in refusing his escort in the meagre habiliments she wore, yet felt that necessary abstraction of herself for a short half-hour as a most grievous loss to him.
Knight felt uncomfortably wet and cold, but still warm with excitement. He totally understood Elfride’s feminine grace in turning down his offer to escort her in the scant clothing she had on, yet he couldn’t help but feel that her necessary absence for a brief half-hour was a huge loss for him.
He gathered up her knotted and twisted plumage of linen, lace, and embroidery work, and laid it across his arm. He noticed on the ground an envelope, limp and wet. In endeavouring to restore this to its proper shape, he loosened from the envelope a piece of paper it had contained, which was seized by the wind in falling from Knight’s hand. It was blown to the right, blown to the left—it floated to the edge of the cliff and over the sea, where it was hurled aloft. It twirled in the air, and then flew back over his head.
He picked up her tangled and twisted collection of linen, lace, and embroidery and draped it over his arm. He saw an envelope on the ground, soggy and limp. As he tried to reshape it, a piece of paper fell out of the envelope and was caught by the wind as it slipped from his hand. It was pushed to the right, then to the left—it floated to the edge of the cliff and over the sea, where it was tossed upward. It spun in the air and then flew back over his head.
Knight followed the paper, and secured it. Having done so, he looked to discover if it had been worth securing.
Knight followed the paper and grabbed it. After doing that, he checked to see if it was worth holding onto.
The troublesome sheet was a banker’s receipt for two hundred pounds, placed to the credit of Miss Swancourt, which the impractical girl had totally forgotten she carried with her.
The annoying piece of paper was a bank receipt for two hundred pounds, credited to Miss Swancourt, which the impractical girl had completely forgotten she had with her.
Knight folded it as carefully as its moist condition would allow, put it in his pocket, and followed Elfride.
Knight folded it as carefully as he could given its damp state, placed it in his pocket, and followed Elfride.
Chapter XXIII
“Should auld acquaintance be forgot?”
“Should old friends be forgotten?”
By this time Stephen Smith had stepped out upon the quay at Castle Boterel, and breathed his native air.
By this time, Stephen Smith had stepped out onto the dock at Castle Boterel and breathed in his native air.
A darker skin, a more pronounced moustache, and an incipient beard, were the chief additions and changes noticeable in his appearance.
A darker complexion, a more prominent mustache, and a slight beard were the main changes visible in his appearance.
In spite of the falling rain, which had somewhat lessened, he took a small valise in his hand, and, leaving the remainder of his luggage at the inn, ascended the hills towards East Endelstow. This place lay in a vale of its own, further inland than the west village, and though so near it, had little of physical feature in common with the latter. East Endelstow was more wooded and fertile: it boasted of Lord Luxellian’s mansion and park, and was free from those bleak open uplands which lent such an air of desolation to the vicinage of the coast—always excepting the small valley in which stood the vicarage and Mrs. Swancourt’s old house, The Crags.
Despite the light rain, which had eased up a bit, he grabbed a small suitcase and, leaving the rest of his bags at the inn, made his way up the hills toward East Endelstow. This place was nestled in its own valley, farther inland than the west village, and although it was close by, it shared little in common with it. East Endelstow was more wooded and fertile; it had Lord Luxellian’s mansion and park and was free from the stark open highlands that gave a sense of desolation to the coastal area—except for the small valley where the vicarage and Mrs. Swancourt’s old house, The Crags, were located.
Stephen had arrived nearly at the summit of the ridge when the rain again increased its volume, and, looking about for temporary shelter, he ascended a steep path which penetrated dense hazel bushes in the lower part of its course. Further up it emerged upon a ledge immediately over the turnpike-road, and sheltered by an overhanging face of rubble rock, with bushes above. For a reason of his own he made this spot his refuge from the storm, and turning his face to the left, conned the landscape as a book.
Stephen had almost reached the top of the ridge when the rain started pouring down harder. Searching for a quick shelter, he climbed a steep path that cut through thick hazel bushes at the bottom. Higher up, it opened onto a ledge right above the highway, protected by a rocky overhang with bushes above it. For his own reasons, he chose this place to take cover from the storm, and turning his head to the left, he studied the landscape like it was a book.
He was overlooking the valley containing Elfride’s residence.
He was looking out over the valley where Elfride’s house was located.
From this point of observation the prospect exhibited the peculiarity of being either brilliant foreground or the subdued tone of distance, a sudden dip in the surface of the country lowering out of sight all the intermediate prospect. In apparent contact with the trees and bushes growing close beside him appeared the distant tract, terminated suddenly by the brink of the series of cliffs which culminated in the tall giant without a name—small and unimportant as here beheld. A leaf on a bough at Stephen’s elbow blotted out a whole hill in the contrasting district far away; a green bunch of nuts covered a complete upland there, and the great cliff itself was outvied by a pigmy crag in the bank hard by him. Stephen had looked upon these things hundreds of times before to-day, but he had never viewed them with such tenderness as now.
From this viewpoint, the scene was striking in its contrast between the bright foreground and the muted background, with a sudden dip in the landscape hiding everything in between. Right beside him, the trees and bushes seemed to merge with the distant area, which ended abruptly at the edge of a series of cliffs that rose up to a tall, nameless giant—small and insignificant as seen from here. A leaf on a branch at Stephen’s elbow blocked out an entire hill in the distant area; a cluster of green nuts concealed a whole hillside over there, and the massive cliff itself was overshadowed by a tiny outcrop on the bank next to him. Stephen had seen these things hundreds of times before, but he had never looked at them with such fondness as he did now.
Stepping forward in this direction yet a little further, he could see the tower of West Endelstow Church, beneath which he was to meet his Elfride that night. And at the same time he noticed, coming over the hill from the cliffs, a white speck in motion. It seemed first to be a sea-gull flying low, but ultimately proved to be a human figure, running with great rapidity. The form flitted on, heedless of the rain which had caused Stephen’s halt in this place, dropped down the heathery hill, entered the vale, and was out of sight.
Stepping forward a bit more, he could see the tower of West Endelstow Church, where he was supposed to meet Elfride that night. At the same time, he noticed a white blur moving over the hill from the cliffs. At first, it looked like a seagull flying low, but it quickly turned out to be a person, running at great speed. The figure darted on, uncaring about the rain that had made Stephen stop here, raced down the heather-covered hill, entered the valley, and disappeared from view.
Whilst he meditated upon the meaning of this phenomenon, he was surprised to see swim into his ken from the same point of departure another moving speck, as different from the first as well could be, insomuch that it was perceptible only by its blackness. Slowly and regularly it took the same course, and there was not much doubt that this was the form of a man. He, too, gradually descended from the upper levels, and was lost in the valley below.
While he contemplated the meaning of this phenomenon, he was surprised to see another moving speck swim into view from the same starting point, completely different from the first, noticeable only by its darkness. It slowly and steadily followed the same path, and there was little doubt that it was the shape of a man. He, too, gradually descended from the higher levels and disappeared into the valley below.
The rain had by this time again abated, and Stephen returned to the road. Looking ahead, he saw two men and a cart. They were soon obscured by the intervention of a high hedge. Just before they emerged again he heard voices in conversation.
The rain had at this point slowed down again, and Stephen went back to the road. Looking ahead, he spotted two men and a cart. They quickly disappeared behind a tall hedge. Just before they came back into view, he heard voices talking.
“’A must soon be in the naibourhood, too, if so be he’s a-coming,” said a tenor tongue, which Stephen instantly recognized as Martin Cannister’s.
“'A must be in the neighborhood soon, too, if he's on his way,” said a tenor voice, which Stephen immediately recognized as Martin Cannister’s.
“’A must ’a b’lieve,” said another voice—that of Stephen’s father.
“'You must believe,' said another voice—that of Stephen’s father.
Stephen stepped forward, and came before them face to face. His father and Martin were walking, dressed in their second best suits, and beside them rambled along a grizzel horse and brightly painted spring-cart.
Stephen stepped forward and stood before them, face to face. His dad and Martin were walking, both in their second-best suits, and next to them ambled a gray horse pulling a vividly painted spring cart.
“All right, Mr. Cannister; here’s the lost man!” exclaimed young Smith, entering at once upon the old style of greeting. “Father, here I am.”
“All right, Mr. Cannister; here’s the lost guy!” exclaimed young Smith, jumping right into the old way of greeting. “Dad, here I am.”
“All right, my sonny; and glad I be for’t!” returned John Smith, overjoyed to see the young man. “How be ye? Well, come along home, and don’t let’s bide out here in the damp. Such weather must be terrible bad for a young chap just come from a fiery nation like Indy; hey, naibour Cannister?”
“All right, my son! I’m so happy to see you!” John Smith replied, thrilled to see the young man. “How are you? Well, let’s head home and not stay out here in the damp. This weather must be really tough for a young guy just coming from a hot place like India; right, neighbor Cannister?”
“Trew, trew. And about getting home his traps? Boxes, monstrous bales, and noble packages of foreign description, I make no doubt?”
“Trew, trew. And what about getting his stuff home? Boxes, huge bales, and fancy packages from overseas, I have no doubt?”
“Hardly all that,” said Stephen laughing.
"Not really," Stephen said with a laugh.
“We brought the cart, maning to go right on to Castle Boterel afore ye landed,” said his father. “‘Put in the horse,’ says Martin. ‘Ay,’ says I, ‘so we will;’ and did it straightway. Now, maybe, Martin had better go on wi’ the cart for the things, and you and I walk home-along.”
“We brought the cart, planning to go straight to Castle Boterel before you landed,” said his father. “‘Put in the horse,’ says Martin. ‘Yeah,’ I replied, ‘that’s what we’ll do;’ and we did it right away. Now, maybe, Martin should take the cart for the supplies, and you and I can walk home together.”
“And I shall be back a’most as soon as you. Peggy is a pretty step still, though time d’ begin to tell upon her as upon the rest o’ us.”
“And I'll be back almost as soon as you. Peggy is still a pretty step, though time is starting to show on her like it is on the rest of us.”
Stephen told Martin where to find his baggage, and then continued his journey homeward in the company of his father.
Stephen told Martin where to find his luggage and then continued his journey home with his father.
“Owing to your coming a day sooner than we first expected,” said John, “you’ll find us in a turk of a mess, sir—‘sir,’ says I to my own son! but ye’ve gone up so, Stephen. We’ve killed the pig this morning for ye, thinking ye’d be hungry, and glad of a morsel of fresh mate. And ’a won’t be cut up till to-night. However, we can make ye a good supper of fry, which will chaw up well wi’ a dab o’ mustard and a few nice new taters, and a drop of shilling ale to wash it down. Your mother have scrubbed the house through because ye were coming, and dusted all the chimmer furniture, and bought a new basin and jug of a travelling crockery-woman that came to our door, and scoured the cannel-sticks, and claned the winders! Ay, I don’t know what ’a ha’n’t a done. Never were such a steer, ’a b’lieve.”
“Since you arrived a day earlier than we expected,” said John, “you’ll find us in quite a mess, sir—‘sir,’ I say to my own son! But you’ve really grown up, Stephen. We killed the pig this morning for you, thinking you’d be hungry and would appreciate some fresh meat. It won’t be cut up until tonight. However, we can whip you up a nice fry for dinner, which will go well with a bit of mustard and some fresh new potatoes, along with a glass of shilling ale to wash it down. Your mother has cleaned the house thoroughly because you were coming, dusted all the living room furniture, bought a new basin and jug from a traveling pottery woman who came to our door, polished the candlesticks, and cleaned the windows! Honestly, I don’t know what she hasn’t done. Never saw such a fuss, I believe.”
Conversation of this kind and inquiries of Stephen for his mother’s wellbeing occupied them for the remainder of the journey. When they drew near the river, and the cottage behind it, they could hear the master-mason’s clock striking off the bygone hours of the day at intervals of a quarter of a minute, during which intervals Stephen’s imagination readily pictured his mother’s forefinger wandering round the dial in company with the minute-hand.
Conversation like this and Stephen's questions about his mother's well-being kept them engaged for the rest of the journey. As they got closer to the river and the cottage behind it, they could hear the master mason's clock chiming, marking the passing hours of the day every 15 minutes. During those moments, Stephen imagined his mother’s forefinger moving around the clock face alongside the minute hand.
“The clock stopped this morning, and your mother in putting en right seemingly,” said his father in an explanatory tone; and they went up the garden to the door.
“The clock stopped this morning, and your mother is putting things right, it seems,” said his father in an explanatory tone; and they went up the garden to the door.
When they had entered, and Stephen had dutifully and warmly greeted his mother—who appeared in a cotton dress of a dark-blue ground, covered broadcast with a multitude of new and full moons, stars, and planets, with an occasional dash of a comet-like aspect to diversify the scene—the crackle of cart-wheels was heard outside, and Martin Cannister stamped in at the doorway, in the form of a pair of legs beneath a great box, his body being nowhere visible. When the luggage had been all taken down, and Stephen had gone upstairs to change his clothes, Mrs. Smith’s mind seemed to recover a lost thread.
When they walked in, Stephen warmly greeted his mother, who was wearing a dark-blue cotton dress covered in a mix of new and full moons, stars, and planets, with the occasional comet to add some variety. Suddenly, the sound of cart wheels was heard outside, and Martin Cannister barged through the doorway, appearing as just a pair of legs under a large box, with his body hidden from view. After all the luggage was unloaded and Stephen went upstairs to change his clothes, Mrs. Smith seemed to regain her focus.
“Really our clock is not worth a penny,” she said, turning to it and attempting to start the pendulum.
“Honestly, our clock isn’t worth anything,” she said, turning to it and trying to start the pendulum.
“Stopped again?” inquired Martin with commiseration.
“Stopped again?” Martin asked with sympathy.
“Yes, sure,” replied Mrs. Smith; and continued after the manner of certain matrons, to whose tongues the harmony of a subject with a casual mood is a greater recommendation than its pertinence to the occasion, “John would spend pounds a year upon the jimcrack old thing, if he might, in having it claned, when at the same time you may doctor it yourself as well. ‘The clock’s stopped again, John,’ I say to him. ‘Better have en claned,’ says he. There’s five shillings. ‘That clock grinds again,’ I say to en. ‘Better have en claned,’ ’a says again. ‘That clock strikes wrong, John,’ says I. ‘Better have en claned,’ he goes on. The wheels would have been polished to skeletons by this time if I had listened to en, and I assure you we could have bought a chainey-faced beauty wi’ the good money we’ve flung away these last ten years upon this old green-faced mortal. And, Martin, you must be wet. My son is gone up to change. John is damper than I should like to be, but ’a calls it nothing. Some of Mrs. Swancourt’s servants have been here—they ran in out of the rain when going for a walk—and I assure you the state of their bonnets was frightful.”
“Yes, of course,” replied Mrs. Smith, continuing like some women do, where getting off-topic is more appealing than staying on track, “John would spend a fortune every year on that old useless thing if he could, just to get it cleaned, when you could easily fix it yourself. ‘The clock’s stopped again, John,’ I tell him. ‘Better get it cleaned,’ he says. That’s five shillings. ‘The clock’s acting up again,’ I mention. ‘Better get it cleaned,’ he tells me again. ‘The clock strikes wrong, John,’ I say. ‘Better get it cleaned,’ he insists again. The gears would have been buffed down to nothing by now if I had listened to him, and I assure you we could have bought a beautiful new clock with all the money we've wasted on this old green-faced one over the last ten years. And, Martin, you must be soaked. My son went upstairs to change. John is wetter than I’d like to be, but he says it’s nothing. Some of Mrs. Swancourt’s servants came by—they ran in out of the rain while they were out for a walk—and I assure you their hats looked terrible.”
“How’s the folks? We’ve been over to Castle Boterel, and what wi’ running and stopping out of the storms, my poor head is beyond everything! fizz, fizz fizz; ’tis frying o’ fish from morning to night,” said a cracked voice in the doorway at this instant.
“How are the folks? We’ve been over to Castle Boterel, and with all the running and dodging the storms, my poor head is really messed up! fizz, fizz fizz; it’s frying fish from morning to night,” said a raspy voice in the doorway at that moment.
“Lord so’s, who’s that?” said Mrs. Smith, in a private exclamation, and turning round saw William Worm, endeavouring to make himself look passing civil and friendly by overspreading his face with a large smile that seemed to have no connection with the humour he was in. Behind him stood a woman about twice his size, with a large umbrella over her head. This was Mrs. Worm, William’s wife.
“Goodness, who’s that?” said Mrs. Smith, in a private exclamation. Turning around, she saw William Worm, trying to appear polite and friendly with a big smile that didn’t match his mood at all. Behind him stood a woman nearly twice his size, holding a large umbrella over her head. This was Mrs. Worm, William’s wife.
“Come in, William,” said John Smith. “We don’t kill a pig every day. And you, likewise, Mrs. Worm. I make ye welcome. Since ye left Parson Swancourt, William, I don’t see much of “ee.”
“Come in, William,” said John Smith. “We don’t kill a pig every day. And you, too, Mrs. Worm. I welcome you both. Since you left Parson Swancourt, William, I haven’t seen much of you.”
“No, for to tell the truth, since I took to the turn-pike-gate line, I’ve been out but little, coming to church o’ Sundays not being my duty now, as ’twas in a parson’s family, you see. However, our boy is able to mind the gate now, and I said, says I, ‘Barbara, let’s call and see John Smith.’”
“No, to be honest, since I started working at the tollgate, I haven’t been out much. Going to church on Sundays isn't my responsibility anymore, like it was when I was in a parson’s family, you know. But our son can handle the gate now, so I said, 'Barbara, let’s visit John Smith.'”
“I am sorry to hear yer pore head is so bad still.”
“I’m sorry to hear your poor head is still so bad.”
“Ay, I assure you that frying o’ fish is going on for nights and days. And, you know, sometimes ’tisn’t only fish, but rashers o’ bacon and inions. Ay, I can hear the fat pop and fizz as nateral as life; can’t I, Barbara?”
“Yeah, I can tell you that frying fish has been happening for nights and days. And, you know, sometimes it’s not just fish, but also strips of bacon and onions. Yeah, I can hear the fat popping and sizzling as naturally as life itself; can’t I, Barbara?”
Mrs. Worm, who had been all this time engaged in closing her umbrella, corroborated this statement, and now, coming indoors, showed herself to be a wide-faced, comfortable-looking woman, with a wart upon her cheek, bearing a small tuft of hair in its centre.
Mrs. Worm, who had been busy closing her umbrella the whole time, confirmed this statement, and now, as she came indoors, revealed herself to be a wide-faced, cozy-looking woman, with a wart on her cheek that had a small tuft of hair in the middle.
“Have ye ever tried anything to cure yer noise, Maister Worm?” inquired Martin Cannister.
“Have you ever tried anything to cure your noise, Master Worm?” asked Martin Cannister.
“Oh ay; bless ye, I’ve tried everything. Ay, Providence is a merciful man, and I have hoped He’d have found it out by this time, living so many years in a parson’s family, too, as I have, but ’a don’t seem to relieve me. Ay, I be a poor wambling man, and life’s a mint o’ trouble!”
“Oh yes; bless you, I’ve tried everything. Yes, Providence is a kind man, and I hoped He’d figured it out by now, having lived so many years in a parson’s family like I have, but it doesn’t seem to help me. Yes, I’m a poor wandering man, and life’s a lot of trouble!”
“True, mournful true, William Worm. ’Tis so. The world wants looking to, or ’tis all sixes and sevens wi’ us.”
“It's true, sadly true, William Worm. It is so. The world needs attention, or everything is just a mess with us.”
“Take your things off, Mrs. Worm,” said Mrs. Smith. “We be rather in a muddle, to tell the truth, for my son is just dropped in from Indy a day sooner than we expected, and the pig-killer is coming presently to cut up.”
“Take your things off, Mrs. Worm,” said Mrs. Smith. “We're in quite a mess, to be honest, because my son just dropped in from Indy a day earlier than we expected, and the pig-killer is coming soon to butcher.”
Mrs. Barbara Worm, not wishing to take any mean advantage of persons in a muddle by observing them, removed her bonnet and mantle with eyes fixed upon the flowers in the plot outside the door.
Mrs. Barbara Worm, not wanting to take unfair advantage of people in a tricky situation by watching them, took off her hat and coat while keeping her eyes on the flowers in the garden outside the door.
“What beautiful tiger-lilies!” said Mrs. Worm.
“What beautiful tiger-lilies!” Mrs. Worm exclaimed.
“Yes, they be very well, but such a trouble to me on account of the children that come here. They will go eating the berries on the stem, and call ’em currants. Taste wi’ junivals is quite fancy, really.”
“Yes, they are doing very well, but it’s such a hassle for me because of the kids that come here. They keep eating the berries right off the stem and calling them currants. The taste with gummies is really quite fancy.”
“And your snapdragons look as fierce as ever.”
“And your snapdragons look as tough as ever.”
“Well, really,” answered Mrs. Smith, entering didactically into the subject, “they are more like Christians than flowers. But they make up well enough wi’ the rest, and don’t require much tending. And the same can be said o’ these miller’s wheels. ’Tis a flower I like very much, though so simple. John says he never cares about the flowers o’ ’em, but men have no eye for anything neat. He says his favourite flower is a cauliflower. And I assure you I tremble in the springtime, for ’tis perfect murder.”
“Well, really,” replied Mrs. Smith, diving into the topic, “they’re more like Christians than flowers. But they blend in well enough with everything else and don’t need much care. The same goes for these miller’s wheels. It’s a flower I really like, even though it’s so simple. John says he never cares about their flowers, but men don’t notice anything neat. He says his favorite flower is a cauliflower. And I assure you, I feel anxious in the springtime because it’s complete chaos.”
“You don’t say so, Mrs. Smith!”
"You don't say, Mrs. Smith!"
“John digs round the roots, you know. In goes his blundering spade, through roots, bulbs, everything that hasn’t got a good show above ground, turning ’em up cut all to slices. Only the very last fall I went to move some tulips, when I found every bulb upside down, and the stems crooked round. He had turned ’em over in the spring, and the cunning creatures had soon found that heaven was not where it used to be.”
“John digs around the roots, you know. His clumsy spade goes in, slicing through roots, bulbs, and everything that doesn’t look good above ground, turning them up all cut into pieces. Just last fall, I tried to move some tulips and found every bulb upside down with the stems twisted around. He had flipped them over in the spring, and the clever little things quickly realized that heaven was no longer where it used to be.”
“What’s that long-favoured flower under the hedge?”
“What’s that long-loved flower under the hedge?”
“They? O Lord, they are the horrid Jacob’s ladders! Instead of praising ’em, I be mad wi’ ’em for being so ready to bide where they are not wanted. They be very well in their way, but I do not care for things that neglect won’t kill. Do what I will, dig, drag, scrap, pull, I get too many of ’em. I chop the roots: up they’ll come, treble strong. Throw ’em over hedge; there they’ll grow, staring me in the face like a hungry dog driven away, and creep back again in a week or two the same as before. ’Tis Jacob’s ladder here, Jacob’s ladder there, and plant ’em where nothing in the world will grow, you get crowds of ’em in a month or two. John made a new manure mixen last summer, and he said, ‘Maria, now if you’ve got any flowers or such like, that you don’t want, you may plant ’em round my mixen so as to hide it a bit, though ’tis not likely anything of much value will grow there.’ I thought, ‘There’s them Jacob’s ladders; I’ll put them there, since they can’t do harm in such a place;’ and I planted the Jacob’s ladders sure enough. They growed, and they growed, in the mixen and out of the mixen, all over the litter, covering it quite up. When John wanted to use it about the garden, ’a said, ‘Nation seize them Jacob’s ladders of yours, Maria! They’ve eat the goodness out of every morsel of my manure, so that ’tis no better than sand itself!’ Sure enough the hungry mortals had. ’Tis my belief that in the secret souls o’ ’em, Jacob’s ladders be weeds, and not flowers at all, if the truth was known.”
“They? Oh Lord, they’re those awful Jacob’s ladders! Instead of appreciating them, I’m furious with them for sticking around where they aren’t wanted. They have their place, sure, but I don’t care for things that neglect won’t kill. No matter what I do—dig, drag, scrap, pull—I just end up with too many of them. I chop the roots, and up they come, stronger than ever. I toss them over the hedge, and they grow right back, staring at me like a hungry dog that’s been shooed away, only to creep back in a week or two, just like before. It’s Jacob’s ladder here, Jacob’s ladder there, and you can plant them where nothing else will grow, and within a month or two, you’ll have a ton of them. John made a new manure pile last summer and said, ‘Maria, if you’ve got any flowers or anything you don’t want, you can plant them around my pile to hide it a bit, although it’s unlikely anything valuable will grow there.’ I thought, ‘I’ll put those Jacob’s ladders there since they can’t do any harm in that spot,’ so I planted them for sure. They thrived, spreading all over the pile and completely covering it. When John wanted to use it in the garden, he said, ‘Curse those Jacob’s ladders of yours, Maria! They’ve sucked the goodness out of every bit of my manure, so now it’s no better than sand!’ And sure enough, those greedy things had. I truly believe that deep down, those Jacob’s ladders are weeds, not flowers at all, if we’re being honest.”
Robert Lickpan, pig-killer and carrier, arrived at this moment. The fatted animal hanging in the back kitchen was cleft down the middle of its backbone, Mrs. Smith being meanwhile engaged in cooking supper.
Robert Lickpan, pig killer and carrier, arrived just then. The fattened pig hanging in the back kitchen was split down the middle of its spine, while Mrs. Smith was busy cooking dinner.
Between the cutting and chopping, ale was handed round, and Worm and the pig-killer listened to John Smith’s description of the meeting with Stephen, with eyes blankly fixed upon the table-cloth, in order that nothing in the external world should interrupt their efforts to conjure up the scene correctly.
Between the cutting and chopping, beer was passed around, and Worm and the pig-killer listened to John Smith’s account of the meeting with Stephen, their eyes blankly fixed on the tablecloth, so nothing in the outside world would disrupt their attempts to picture the scene accurately.
Stephen came downstairs in the middle of the story, and after the little interruption occasioned by his entrance and welcome, the narrative was again continued, precisely as if he had not been there at all, and was told inclusively to him, as to somebody who knew nothing about the matter.
Stephen came downstairs in the middle of the story, and after the brief pause caused by his arrival and greeting, the narrative continued as if he hadn’t been there at all, and it was shared with him just as if he were someone who didn’t know anything about it.
“‘Ay,’ I said, as I catched sight o’ en through the brimbles, ‘that’s the lad, for I d’ know en by his grand-father’s walk;’ for ’a stapped out like poor father for all the world. Still there was a touch o’ the frisky that set me wondering. ’A got closer, and I said, ‘That’s the lad, for I d’ know en by his carrying a black case like a travelling man.’ Still, a road is common to all the world, and there be more travelling men than one. But I kept my eye cocked, and I said to Martin, ‘’Tis the boy, now, for I d’ know en by the wold twirl o’ the stick and the family step.’ Then ’a come closer, and a’ said, ‘All right.’ I could swear to en then.”
“‘Yeah,’ I said, as I caught sight of him through the bushes, ‘that’s the guy, I can tell by his grandfather’s walk;’ he walked just like my poor father did. Still, there was a bit of a playful attitude that made me curious. I got closer and said, ‘That’s the guy, I can tell by the way he’s carrying that black case like a traveling man.’ Still, a road is common to everyone, and there are more traveling men than one. But I kept my eye on him, and I said to Martin, ‘It’s the boy now, I can tell by the old twirl of the stick and the family step.’ Then he came closer, and I said, ‘All right.’ I was sure of him then.”
Stephen’s personal appearance was next criticised.
Stephen's looks were criticized next.
“He d’ look a deal thinner in face, surely, than when I seed en at the parson’s, and never knowed en, if ye’ll believe me,” said Martin.
“He looks a lot thinner in the face, for sure, than when I saw him at the parson’s, and I never knew him, if you’ll believe me,” said Martin.
“Ay, there,” said another, without removing his eyes from Stephen’s face, “I should ha’ knowed en anywhere. ’Tis his father’s nose to a T.”
“Ay, there,” said another, keeping his eyes on Stephen’s face, “I should have known him anywhere. It’s his father’s nose to a T.”
“It has been often remarked,” said Stephen modestly.
“It has been often remarked,” Stephen said modestly.
“And he’s certainly taller,” said Martin, letting his glance run over Stephen’s form from bottom to top.
“And he's definitely taller,” said Martin, scanning Stephen’s figure from bottom to top.
“I was thinking ’a was exactly the same height,” Worm replied.
“I was thinking he was exactly the same height,” Worm replied.
“Bless thy soul, that’s because he’s bigger round likewise.” And the united eyes all moved to Stephen’s waist.
“Bless your soul, that’s because he’s just as big around.” And everyone’s eyes turned to Stephen’s waist.
“I be a poor wambling man, but I can make allowances,” said William Worm. “Ah, sure, and how he came as a stranger and pilgrim to Parson Swancourt’s that time, not a soul knowing en after so many years! Ay, life’s a strange picter, Stephen: but I suppose I must say Sir to ye?”
“I’m just a poor wandering man, but I can make accommodations,” said William Worm. “Ah, it’s true, he showed up as a stranger and pilgrim at Parson Swancourt’s that time, with no one recognizing him after so many years! Yeah, life’s a strange picture, Stephen: but I guess I should say sir to you?”
“Oh, it is not necessary at present,” Stephen replied, though mentally resolving to avoid the vicinity of that familiar friend as soon as he had made pretensions to the hand of Elfride.
“Oh, it’s not necessary right now,” Stephen replied, though he mentally promised himself to stay away from that familiar friend as soon as he had pretended to pursue Elfride’s hand.
“Ah, well,” said Worm musingly, “some would have looked for no less than a Sir. There’s a sight of difference in people.”
“Ah, well,” said Worm thoughtfully, “some would have expected nothing less than a Sir. There’s a big difference in people.”
“And in pigs likewise,” observed John Smith, looking at the halved carcass of his own.
“And in pigs too,” noted John Smith, glancing at the halved carcass of his own.
Robert Lickpan, the pig-killer, here seemed called upon to enter the lists of conversation.
Robert Lickpan, the pig killer, now appeared to be required to join the conversation.
“Yes, they’ve got their particular naters good-now,” he remarked initially. “Many’s the rum-tempered pig I’ve knowed.”
“Yes, they’ve got their particular natures down now,” he said at first. “I’ve known many a rum-tempered pig.”
“I don’t doubt it, Master Lickpan,” answered Martin, in a tone expressing that his convictions, no less than good manners, demanded the reply.
“I don’t doubt it, Master Lickpan,” Martin replied, his tone showing that both his beliefs and good manners required him to respond.
“Yes,” continued the pig-killer, as one accustomed to be heard. “One that I knowed was deaf and dumb, and we couldn’t make out what was the matter wi’ the pig. ’A would eat well enough when ’a seed the trough, but when his back was turned, you might a-rattled the bucket all day, the poor soul never heard ye. Ye could play tricks upon en behind his back, and a’ wouldn’t find it out no quicker than poor deaf Grammer Cates. But a’ fatted well, and I never seed a pig open better when a’ was killed, and ’a was very tender eating, very; as pretty a bit of mate as ever you see; you could suck that mate through a quill.
“Yes,” the pig-killer continued, speaking authoritatively. “There was one I knew who was deaf and dumb, and we couldn't figure out what was wrong with the pig. It would eat just fine when it saw the trough, but when its back was turned, you could shake the bucket all day, and the poor thing wouldn’t hear you. You could play tricks on it behind its back, and it wouldn’t notice any quicker than poor old deaf Grammer Cates. But it fattened up well, and I never saw a pig that opened better when it was killed; it was very tender meat, really—about as nice a piece of meat as you’d ever see; you could suck that meat through a straw.
“And another I knowed,” resumed the killer, after quietly letting a pint of ale run down his throat of its own accord, and setting down the cup with mathematical exactness upon the spot from which he had raised it—“another went out of his mind.”
“And another I knew,” the killer continued, after calmly letting a pint of ale slide down his throat and placing the cup back exactly where he picked it up—“another lost his mind.”
“How very mournful!” murmured Mrs. Worm.
"So sad!" murmured Mrs. Worm.
“Ay, poor thing, ’a did! As clean out of his mind as the cleverest Christian could go. In early life ’a was very melancholy, and never seemed a hopeful pig by no means. ’Twas Andrew Stainer’s pig—that’s whose pig ’twas.”
“Yeah, poor thing, it did! Completely out of its mind, just like the cleverest person could be. In its early days, it was really sad and never seemed like a hopeful pig at all. It was Andrew Stainer’s pig—that’s whose pig it was.”
“I can mind the pig well enough,” attested John Smith.
“I can take care of the pig just fine,” said John Smith.
“And a pretty little porker ’a was. And you all know Farmer Buckle’s sort? Every jack o’ em suffer from the rheumatism to this day, owing to a damp sty they lived in when they were striplings, as ’twere.”
“And she was a cute little pig. And you all know what Farmer Buckle’s like? Every one of them suffers from arthritis to this day because of the damp pigpen they lived in when they were young.”
“Well, now we’ll weigh,” said John.
“Well, now we’ll weigh,” John said.
“If so be he were not so fine, we’d weigh en whole: but as he is, we’ll take a side at a time. John, you can mind my old joke, ey?”
“If he weren't so great, we’d take him on whole: but since he is, we’ll tackle one side at a time. John, you remember my old joke, right?”
“I do so; though ’twas a good few years ago I first heard en.”
“I do that; even though it was quite a few years ago when I first heard it.”
“Yes,” said Lickpan, “that there old familiar joke have been in our family for generations, I may say. My father used that joke regular at pig-killings for more than five and forty years—the time he followed the calling. And ’a told me that ’a had it from his father when he was quite a chiel, who made use o’ en just the same at every killing more or less; and pig-killings were pig-killings in those days.”
“Yes,” said Lickpan, “that old familiar joke has been in our family for generations, I should say. My father used that joke regularly at pig-killings for over forty-five years—the time he was in the trade. And he told me he got it from his father when he was just a kid, who used it the same way at every killing or so; and pig-killings were actually pig-killings back then.”
“Trewly they were.”
“They really were.”
“I’ve never heard the joke,” said Mrs. Smith tentatively.
“I’ve never heard that joke,” Mrs. Smith said hesitantly.
“Nor I,” chimed in Mrs. Worm, who, being the only other lady in the room, felt bound by the laws of courtesy to feel like Mrs. Smith in everything.
“Me neither,” chimed in Mrs. Worm, who, being the only other woman in the room, felt obligated by the rules of politeness to agree with Mrs. Smith on everything.
“Surely, surely you have,” said the killer, looking sceptically at the benighted females. “However, ’tisn’t much—I don’t wish to say it is. It commences like this: ‘Bob will tell the weight of your pig, ’a b’lieve,’ says I. The congregation of neighbours think I mane my son Bob, naturally; but the secret is that I mane the bob o’ the steelyard. Ha, ha, ha!”
“Surely, you have,” said the killer, looking skeptically at the confused women. “However, it’s not much—I don’t want to make it seem like it is. It starts like this: ‘Bob will tell the weight of your pig, I believe,’ I say. The group of neighbors thinks I mean my son Bob, of course; but the secret is that I mean the bob of the steelyard. Ha, ha, ha!”
“Haw, haw, haw!” laughed Martin Cannister, who had heard the explanation of this striking story for the hundredth time.
“Haw, haw, haw!” laughed Martin Cannister, who had heard the explanation of this striking story for the hundredth time.
“Huh, huh, huh!” laughed John Smith, who had heard it for the thousandth.
“Huh, huh, huh!” laughed John Smith, who had heard it a thousand times before.
“Hee, hee, hee!” laughed William Worm, who had never heard it at all, but was afraid to say so.
“Hee, hee, hee!” laughed William Worm, who had never heard it at all but was scared to admit it.
“Thy grandfather, Robert, must have been a wide-awake chap to make that story,” said Martin Cannister, subsiding to a placid aspect of delighted criticism.
“Your grandfather, Robert, must have been quite the clever guy to come up with that story,” said Martin Cannister, settling into a relaxed expression of pleased critique.
“He had a head, by all account. And, you see, as the first-born of the Lickpans have all been Roberts, they’ve all been Bobs, so the story was handed down to the present day.”
“He had a good head on his shoulders, by all accounts. And, as the first-born of the Lickpans have all been named Robert, they've all been called Bob, so this story has been passed down to the present day.”
“Poor Joseph, your second boy, will never be able to bring it out in company, which is rather unfortunate,” said Mrs. Worm thoughtfully.
“Poor Joseph, your second son, will never be able to show it off in public, which is pretty unfortunate,” said Mrs. Worm thoughtfully.
“’A won’t. Yes, grandfer was a clever chap, as ye say; but I knowed a cleverer. ’Twas my uncle Levi. Uncle Levi made a snuff-box that should be a puzzle to his friends to open. He used to hand en round at wedding parties, christenings, funerals, and in other jolly company, and let ’em try their skill. This extraordinary snuff-box had a spring behind that would push in and out—a hinge where seemed to be the cover; a slide at the end, a screw in front, and knobs and queer notches everywhere. One man would try the spring, another would try the screw, another would try the slide; but try as they would, the box wouldn’t open. And they couldn’t open en, and they didn’t open en. Now what might you think was the secret of that box?”
“I won’t. Yes, Grandpa was a smart guy, as you say; but I knew someone smarter. It was my Uncle Levi. Uncle Levi made a snuff box that was a real puzzle for his friends to open. He would pass it around at wedding parties, christenings, funerals, and other fun gatherings, letting everyone try their skills. This extraordinary snuff box had a spring behind it that would push in and out—a hinge that looked like it was the cover; a slide at one end, a screw in front, and knobs and odd notches everywhere. One person would try the spring, another would try the screw, someone else the slide; but no matter how hard they tried, the box wouldn’t open. They just couldn’t get it open. So what do you think was the secret of that box?”
All put on an expression that their united thoughts were inadequate to the occasion.
Everyone looked like their combined thoughts fell short for the moment.
“Why the box wouldn’t open at all. ’A were made not to open, and ye might have tried till the end of Revelations, ’twould have been as naught, for the box were glued all round.”
“Why the box wouldn’t open at all. It was made not to open, and you could have tried until the end of Revelations, but it would have been pointless, because the box was glued all around.”
“A very deep man to have made such a box.”
“A really insightful guy to have created such a box.”
“Yes. ’Twas like uncle Levi all over.”
“Yes. It was just like Uncle Levi all over again.”
“’Twas. I can mind the man very well. Tallest man ever I seed.”
“I remember him. He was the tallest man I’ve ever seen.”
“’A was so. He never slept upon a bedstead after he growed up a hard boy-chap—never could get one long enough. When ’a lived in that little small house by the pond, he used to have to leave open his chamber door every night at going to his bed, and let his feet poke out upon the landing.”
“’A was like that. He never slept on a bed frame after he became a tough kid—he could never find one long enough. When he lived in that tiny house by the pond, he had to leave his bedroom door open every night when going to bed, letting his feet stick out into the hallway.”
“He’s dead and gone now, nevertheless, poor man, as we all shall,” observed Worm, to fill the pause which followed the conclusion of Robert Lickpan’s speech.
“He's dead and gone now, but still, poor guy, just like we all will be,” Worm said, breaking the silence that followed Robert Lickpan's speech.
The weighing and cutting up was pursued amid an animated discourse on Stephen’s travels; and at the finish, the first-fruits of the day’s slaughter, fried in onions, were then turned from the pan into a dish on the table, each piece steaming and hissing till it reached their very mouths.
The weighing and cutting were done while they excitedly talked about Stephen’s travels; and when it was done, the first bits from the day’s butchering, fried with onions, were poured from the pan into a dish on the table, each piece steaming and hissing until it reached their mouths.
It must be owned that the gentlemanly son of the house looked rather out of place in the course of this operation. Nor was his mind quite philosophic enough to allow him to be comfortable with these old-established persons, his father’s friends. He had never lived long at home—scarcely at all since his childhood. The presence of William Worm was the most awkward feature of the case, for, though Worm had left the house of Mr. Swancourt, the being hand-in-glove with a ci-devant servitor reminded Stephen too forcibly of the vicar’s classification of himself before he went from England. Mrs. Smith was conscious of the defect in her arrangements which had brought about the undesired conjunction. She spoke to Stephen privately.
It must be acknowledged that the gentlemanly son of the house looked somewhat out of place during this whole process. His mind wasn’t quite open enough to feel comfortable with these long-established individuals, his father’s friends. He hadn’t lived at home for long—barely at all since he was a child. The presence of William Worm was the most uncomfortable aspect of the situation, as Worm being close to a former servant reminded Stephen too strongly of the vicar’s self-assessment before he left England. Mrs. Smith was aware of the flaw in her plans that had led to this unwanted situation. She spoke to Stephen privately.
“I am above having such people here, Stephen; but what could I do? And your father is so rough in his nature that he’s more mixed up with them than need be.”
“I’m above having those kinds of people around here, Stephen; but what can I do? And your father is so rough by nature that he’s more involved with them than he needs to be.”
“Never mind, mother,” said Stephen; “I’ll put up with it now.”
“It's okay, Mom,” Stephen said; “I can deal with it for now.”
“When we leave my lord’s service, and get further up the country—as I hope we shall soon—it will be different. We shall be among fresh people, and in a larger house, and shall keep ourselves up a bit, I hope.”
“When we leave my lord’s service and head further into the countryside—as I hope we will soon—it will be different. We’ll be around new people, in a bigger house, and I hope we’ll be able to maintain a better appearance.”
“Is Miss Swancourt at home, do you know?” Stephen inquired
“Do you know if Miss Swancourt is home?” Stephen asked.
“Yes, your father saw her this morning.”
“Yes, your dad saw her this morning.”
“Do you often see her?”
“Do you see her often?”
“Scarcely ever. Mr. Glim, the curate, calls occasionally, but the Swancourts don’t come into the village now any more than to drive through it. They dine at my lord’s oftener than they used. Ah, here’s a note was brought this morning for you by a boy.”
“Hardly ever. Mr. Glim, the curate, stops by every once in a while, but the Swancourts don’t visit the village any more than just driving through it. They dine at my lord’s more often than they used to. Ah, here’s a note that was delivered this morning for you by a boy.”
Stephen eagerly took the note and opened it, his mother watching him. He read what Elfride had written and sent before she started for the cliff that afternoon:
Stephen eagerly grabbed the note and opened it, his mom watching him. He read what Elfride had written and sent before she headed to the cliff that afternoon:
“Yes; I will meet you in the church at nine to-night.—E. S.”
“Yes; I’ll meet you at the church at nine tonight.—E. S.”
“I don’t know, Stephen,” his mother said meaningly, “whe’r you still think about Miss Elfride, but if I were you I wouldn’t concern about her. They say that none of old Mrs. Swancourt’s money will come to her step-daughter.”
“I don’t know, Stephen,” his mother said seriously, “whether you still think about Miss Elfride, but if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about her. They say that none of old Mrs. Swancourt’s money is going to her step-daughter.”
“I see the evening has turned out fine; I am going out for a little while to look round the place,” he said, evading the direct query. “Probably by the time I return our visitors will be gone, and we’ll have a more confidential talk.”
“I see the evening has turned out nice; I’m going out for a bit to check things out,” he said, dodging the direct question. “By the time I get back, our guests will probably be gone, and we can have a more private conversation.”
Chapter XXIV
“Breeze, bird, and flower confess the hour.”
“Breeze, bird, and flower reveal the time.”
The rain had ceased since the sunset, but it was a cloudy night; and the light of the moon, softened and dispersed by its misty veil, was distributed over the land in pale gray.
The rain had stopped since sunset, but it was a cloudy night; and the moonlight, softened and scattered by its misty veil, spread over the land in a pale gray.
A dark figure stepped from the doorway of John Smith’s river-side cottage, and strode rapidly towards West Endelstow with a light footstep. Soon ascending from the lower levels he turned a corner, followed a cart-track, and saw the tower of the church he was in quest of distinctly shaped forth against the sky. In less than half an hour from the time of starting he swung himself over the churchyard stile.
A dark figure stepped out of the doorway of John Smith’s riverside cottage and quickly walked toward West Endelstow with light footsteps. After ascending from the lower levels, he turned a corner, followed a dirt path, and saw the church tower he was looking for clearly outlined against the sky. Less than half an hour after he started, he climbed over the churchyard gate.
The wild irregular enclosure was as much as ever an integral part of the old hill. The grass was still long, the graves were shaped precisely as passing years chose to alter them from their orthodox form as laid down by Martin Cannister, and by Stephen’s own grandfather before him.
The wild, uneven enclosure was still a crucial part of the old hill. The grass was still tall, and the graves were shaped just as the years naturally changed them from their original design as established by Martin Cannister and Stephen's grandfather before him.
A sound sped into the air from the direction in which Castle Boterel lay. It was the striking of the church clock, distinct in the still atmosphere as if it had come from the tower hard by, which, wrapt in its solitary silentness, gave out no such sounds of life.
A sound rushed into the air from the direction of Castle Boterel. It was the church clock chiming, clear in the quiet atmosphere as if it had come from the nearby tower, which, wrapped in its solitary silence, produced no other signs of life.
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.” Stephen carefully counted the strokes, though he well knew their number beforehand. Nine o’clock. It was the hour Elfride had herself named as the most convenient for meeting him.
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.” Stephen counted the strokes carefully, even though he already knew how many there were. Nine o’clock. It was the time Elfride had identified as the best for meeting him.
Stephen stood at the door of the porch and listened. He could have heard the softest breathing of any person within the porch; nobody was there. He went inside the doorway, sat down upon the stone bench, and waited with a beating heart.
Stephen stood at the porch door and listened. He could hear the softest breath of anyone inside; no one was there. He stepped through the doorway, sat down on the stone bench, and waited with a pounding heart.
The faint sounds heard only accentuated the silence. The rising and falling of the sea, far away along the coast, was the most important. A minor sound was the scurr of a distant night-hawk. Among the minutest where all were minute were the light settlement of gossamer fragments floating in the air, a toad humbly labouring along through the grass near the entrance, the crackle of a dead leaf which a worm was endeavouring to pull into the earth, a waft of air, getting nearer and nearer, and expiring at his feet under the burden of a winged seed.
The soft sounds only highlighted the silence. The rise and fall of the distant sea along the coast was the most significant. A minor noise was the rustling of a faraway night-hawk. Among all the tiny details were the delicate bits of gossamer floating in the air, a toad quietly making its way through the grass near the entrance, the crackle of a dry leaf that a worm was trying to pull into the ground, and a breeze getting closer and closer, finally settling at his feet under the weight of a winged seed.
Among all these soft sounds came not the only soft sound he cared to hear—the footfall of Elfride.
Among all these soft sounds, there was one soft sound he actually wanted to hear—the footsteps of Elfride.
For a whole quarter of an hour Stephen sat thus intent, without moving a muscle. At the end of that time he walked to the west front of the church. Turning the corner of the tower, a white form stared him in the face. He started back, and recovered himself. It was the tomb of young farmer Jethway, looking still as fresh and as new as when it was first erected, the white stone in which it was hewn having a singular weirdness amid the dark blue slabs from local quarries, of which the whole remaining gravestones were formed.
For a full fifteen minutes, Stephen sat there focused, without moving a muscle. After that, he walked to the west front of the church. As he rounded the corner of the tower, a white figure appeared in front of him. He jumped back and quickly regained his composure. It was the tomb of young farmer Jethway, looking just as fresh and new as when it was first built, the white stone it was made of standing out oddly against the dark blue slabs from local quarries that made up all the other gravestones.
He thought of the night when he had sat thereon with Elfride as his companion, and well remembered his regret that she had received, even unwillingly, earlier homage than his own. But his present tangible anxiety reduced such a feeling to sentimental nonsense in comparison; and he strolled on over the graves to the border of the churchyard, whence in the daytime could be clearly seen the vicarage and the present residence of the Swancourts. No footstep was discernible upon the path up the hill, but a light was shining from a window in the last-named house.
He recalled the night he had sat there with Elfride as his companion, and he clearly remembered his regret that she had received, even if reluctantly, affection from someone else before she did from him. But his current, real anxiety made that feeling seem like sentimental nonsense; so he walked over the graves to the edge of the churchyard, from where the vicarage and the Swancourts' current home were clearly visible during the day. There were no footsteps on the path up the hill, but a light was shining from a window in the latter house.
Stephen knew there could be no mistake about the time or place, and no difficulty about keeping the engagement. He waited yet longer, passing from impatience into a mood which failed to take any account of the lapse of time. He was awakened from his reverie by Castle Boterel clock.
Stephen knew there could be no mistake about the time or place, and no difficulty about keeping the engagement. He waited even longer, moving from impatience into a state that didn’t consider the passing time. He was brought back from his thoughts by the clock of Castle Boterel.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
One little fall of the hammer in addition to the number it had been sharp pleasure to hear, and what a difference to him!
One small fall of the hammer added to the number he had been so pleased to hear, and what a difference it made to him!
He left the churchyard on the side opposite to his point of entrance, and went down the hill. Slowly he drew near the gate of her house. This he softly opened, and walked up the gravel drive to the door. Here he paused for several minutes.
He left the churchyard from the side opposite where he entered and walked down the hill. Slowly, he approached the gate of her house. He opened it quietly and walked up the gravel driveway to the door. Here, he paused for several minutes.
At the expiration of that time the murmured speech of a manly voice came out to his ears through an open window behind the corner of the house. This was responded to by a clear soft laugh. It was the laugh of Elfride.
At the end of that time, the quiet sound of a strong voice reached his ears from an open window around the corner of the house. This was met with a light, soft laugh. It was Elfride's laugh.
Stephen was conscious of a gnawing pain at his heart. He retreated as he had come. There are disappointments which wring us, and there are those which inflict a wound whose mark we bear to our graves. Such are so keen that no future gratification of the same desire can ever obliterate them: they become registered as a permanent loss of happiness. Such a one was Stephen’s now: the crowning aureola of the dream had been the meeting here by stealth; and if Elfride had come to him only ten minutes after he had turned away, the disappointment would have been recognizable still.
Stephen felt a gnawing pain in his heart. He pulled back just as he had arrived. There are letdowns that really hurt us, and then there are those that leave a scar we carry for life. Some are so intense that no future fulfillment of the same wish can ever erase them: they become a constant reminder of lost happiness. That’s what Stephen was experiencing now: the ultimate highlight of the dream had been the secret meeting here; and even if Elfride had come to him just ten minutes after he walked away, the disappointment would still have been clear.
When the young man reached home he found there a letter which had arrived in his absence. Believing it to contain some reason for her non-appearance, yet unable to imagine one that could justify her, he hastily tore open the envelope.
When the young man got home, he discovered a letter that had arrived while he was away. Thinking it might explain her absence, yet unable to think of any reason that could justify her, he quickly tore open the envelope.
The paper contained not a word from Elfride. It was the deposit-note for his two hundred pounds. On the back was the form of a cheque, and this she had filled up with the same sum, payable to the bearer.
The paper had no words from Elfride. It was the deposit slip for his two hundred pounds. On the back was a check, and she had filled it out for the same amount, payable to the bearer.
Stephen was confounded. He attempted to divine her motive. Considering how limited was his knowledge of her later actions, he guessed rather shrewdly that, between the time of her sending the note in the morning and the evening’s silent refusal of his gift, something had occurred which had caused a total change in her attitude towards him.
Stephen was confused. He tried to figure out her reasoning. Given how little he knew about her actions later, he guessed reasonably well that something must have happened between the time she sent the note in the morning and her silent rejection of his gift in the evening, which had led to a complete shift in her attitude towards him.
He knew not what to do. It seemed absurd now to go to her father next morning, as he had purposed, and ask for an engagement with her, a possibility impending all the while that Elfride herself would not be on his side. Only one course recommended itself as wise. To wait and see what the days would bring forth; to go and execute his commissions in Birmingham; then to return, learn if anything had happened, and try what a meeting might do; perhaps her surprise at his backwardness would bring her forward to show latent warmth as decidedly as in old times.
He didn't know what to do. It felt ridiculous now to go to her dad the next morning, as he had planned, and ask for her hand in marriage, especially considering that Elfride herself might not be supporting him. Only one option seemed wise. To wait and see what the days would bring; to go and take care of his business in Birmingham; then return, find out if anything had changed, and see what a meeting might do; maybe her surprise at his hesitation would encourage her to reveal some of the warmth she had shown before.
This act of patience was in keeping only with the nature of a man precisely of Stephen’s constitution. Nine men out of ten would perhaps have rushed off, got into her presence, by fair means or foul, and provoked a catastrophe of some sort. Possibly for the better, probably for the worse.
This act of patience suited a man like Stephen perfectly. Nine out of ten guys would have likely rushed in, gotten in front of her, by any means necessary, and caused some kind of disaster. Maybe it would have been for the better, but probably not.
He started for Birmingham the next morning. A day’s delay would have made no difference; but he could not rest until he had begun and ended the programme proposed to himself. Bodily activity will sometimes take the sting out of anxiety as completely as assurance itself.
He left for Birmingham the next morning. A day's delay wouldn't have mattered; but he couldn't relax until he had started and finished what he had set out to do. Physical activity can sometimes ease anxiety just as effectively as confidence itself.
Chapter XXV
“Mine own familiar friend.”
"My own close friend."
During these days of absence Stephen lived under alternate conditions. Whenever his emotions were active, he was in agony. Whenever he was not in agony, the business in hand had driven out of his mind by sheer force all deep reflection on the subject of Elfride and love.
During these days of absence, Stephen went through different experiences. Whenever he felt strong emotions, he was in pain. When he wasn't in pain, the tasks at hand completely occupied his mind, pushing aside any deep thoughts about Elfride and love.
By the time he took his return journey at the week’s end, Stephen had very nearly worked himself up to an intention to call and see her face to face. On this occasion also he adopted his favourite route—by the little summer steamer from Bristol to Castle Boterel; the time saved by speed on the railway being wasted at junctions, and in following a devious course.
By the time he headed back at the end of the week, Stephen was almost set on the idea of meeting her in person. Once again, he chose his favorite route—taking the little summer steamer from Bristol to Castle Boterel; the time he saved by going fast on the train got wasted at junctions and while taking a winding path.
It was a bright silent evening at the beginning of September when Smith again set foot in the little town. He felt inclined to linger awhile upon the quay before ascending the hills, having formed a romantic intention to go home by way of her house, yet not wishing to wander in its neighbourhood till the evening shades should sufficiently screen him from observation.
It was a bright, quiet evening at the start of September when Smith returned to the small town. He felt like hanging around the quay for a bit before heading up the hills, having made up his mind to go home by passing her house, but he didn't want to wander near it until the evening shadows were deep enough to hide him from view.
And thus waiting for night’s nearer approach, he watched the placid scene, over which the pale luminosity of the west cast a sorrowful monochrome, that became slowly embrowned by the dusk. A star appeared, and another, and another. They sparkled amid the yards and rigging of the two coal brigs lying alangside, as if they had been tiny lamps suspended in the ropes. The masts rocked sleepily to the infinitesimal flux of the tide, which clucked and gurgled with idle regularity in nooks and holes of the harbour wall.
And so, while waiting for night to approach, he watched the calm scene, where the pale light of the west created a sad monochrome that gradually turned brown as dusk set in. A star appeared, then another, and another. They sparkled among the masts and rigging of the two coal brigs parked side by side, as if they were tiny lamps hanging in the ropes. The masts swayed gently with the slight movement of the tide, which made soft clucking and gurgling sounds with its idle rhythm in the nooks and crannies of the harbor wall.
The twilight was now quite pronounced enough for his purpose; and as, rather sad at heart, he was about to move on, a little boat containing two persons glided up the middle of the harbour with the lightness of a shadow. The boat came opposite him, passed on, and touched the landing-steps at the further end. One of its occupants was a man, as Stephen had known by the easy stroke of the oars. When the pair ascended the steps, and came into greater prominence, he was enabled to discern that the second personage was a woman; also that she wore a white decoration—apparently a feather—in her hat or bonnet, which spot of white was the only distinctly visible portion of her clothing.
The twilight was now clear enough for his purpose; and just as he was feeling a bit down and was about to move on, a small boat with two people glided through the middle of the harbor as lightly as a shadow. The boat passed in front of him, continued on, and reached the landing steps at the far end. One of its occupants was a man, which Stephen could tell from the relaxed way he rowed. As they climbed the steps and became more visible, he realized that the second person was a woman; also, that she had a white decoration—seemingly a feather—in her hat or bonnet, which was the only clearly noticeable part of her outfit.
Stephen remained a moment in their rear, and they passed on, when he pursued his way also, and soon forgot the circumstance. Having crossed a bridge, forsaken the high road, and entered the footpath which led up the vale to West Endelstow, he heard a little wicket click softly together some yards ahead. By the time that Stephen had reached the wicket and passed it, he heard another click of precisely the same nature from another gate yet further on. Clearly some person or persons were preceding him along the path, their footsteps being rendered noiseless by the soft carpet of turf. Stephen now walked a little quicker, and perceived two forms. One of them bore aloft the white feather he had noticed in the woman’s hat on the quay: they were the couple he had seen in the boat. Stephen dropped a little further to the rear.
Stephen paused for a moment behind them, then continued on his way, quickly forgetting the incident. After crossing a bridge, leaving the main road, and taking the footpath that led up the valley to West Endelstow, he heard a small gate click shut a few yards ahead. By the time Stephen reached the gate and passed it, he heard another identical click from yet another gate further along. Clearly, someone or some people were ahead of him on the path, their footsteps muffled by the soft grass beneath. Stephen quickened his pace and spotted two figures. One of them held high the white feather he had noticed in the woman's hat on the quay; it was the couple he had seen in the boat. Stephen dropped back a little further behind them.
From the bottom of the valley, along which the path had hitherto lain, beside the margin of the trickling streamlet, another path now diverged, and ascended the slope of the left-hand hill. This footway led only to the residence of Mrs. Swancourt and a cottage or two in its vicinity. No grass covered this diverging path in portions of its length, and Stephen was reminded that the pair in front of him had taken this route by the occasional rattle of loose stones under their feet. Stephen climbed in the same direction, but for some undefined reason he trod more softly than did those preceding him. His mind was unconsciously in exercise upon whom the woman might be—whether a visitor to The Crags, a servant, or Elfride. He put it to himself yet more forcibly; could the lady be Elfride? A possible reason for her unaccountable failure to keep the appointment with him returned with painful force.
From the bottom of the valley where the path had been, next to the edge of the trickling stream, another path branched off and went up the slope of the left hill. This path led only to Mrs. Swancourt's house and a few nearby cottages. There were spots along this offshoot where no grass grew, and Stephen was reminded that the couple ahead of him had taken this route by the occasional clatter of loose stones underfoot. Stephen climbed in the same direction, but for some unclear reason, he stepped more lightly than those in front of him. His mind was unconsciously busy trying to figure out who the woman might be—whether she was a visitor at The Crags, a servant, or Elfride. He pressed the thought harder; could the lady possibly be Elfride? A likely explanation for her strange failure to keep their appointment with him hit him painfully.
They entered the grounds of the house by the side wicket, whence the path, now wide and well trimmed, wound fantastically through the shrubbery to an octagonal pavilion called the Belvedere, by reason of the comprehensive view over the adjacent district that its green seats afforded. The path passed this erection and went on to the house as well as to the gardener’s cottage on the other side, straggling thence to East Endelstow; so that Stephen felt no hesitation in entering a promenade which could scarcely be called private.
They entered the property through the side gate, where the path, now wide and neatly trimmed, twisted through the bushes toward an octagonal pavilion known as the Belvedere, because of the great view of the surrounding area that its green benches provided. The path continued past this structure and led to the house as well as to the gardener’s cottage on the other side, stretching further to East Endelstow; so Stephen had no hesitation in walking along a path that hardly felt private.
He fancied that he heard the gate open and swing together again behind him. Turning, he saw nobody.
He thought he heard the gate open and close behind him. Turning around, he saw no one.
The people of the boat came to the summer-house. One of them spoke.
The people from the boat arrived at the summer house. One of them spoke.
“I am afraid we shall get a scolding for being so late.”
“I’m afraid we’re going to get in trouble for being so late.”
Stephen instantly recognised the familiar voice, richer and fuller now than it used to be. “Elfride!” he whispered to himself, and held fast by a sapling, to steady himself under the agitation her presence caused him. His heart swerved from its beat; he shunned receiving the meaning he sought.
Stephen instantly recognized the familiar voice, now richer and fuller than it used to be. “Elfride!” he whispered to himself, gripping a sapling to steady himself against the agitation her presence caused him. His heart raced; he avoided accepting the meaning he was looking for.
“A breeze is rising again; how the ash tree rustles!” said Elfride. “Don’t you hear it? I wonder what the time is.”
“A breeze is picking up again; can you hear how the ash tree rustles?” Elfride said. “Don’t you hear it? I wonder what time it is.”
Stephen relinquished the sapling.
Stephen let go of the sapling.
“I will get a light and tell you. Step into the summer-house; the air is quiet there.”
“I'll grab a light and let you know. Come into the summer house; it's calm in there.”
The cadence of that voice—its peculiarity seemed to come home to him like that of some notes of the northern birds on his return to his native clime, as an old natural thing renewed, yet not particularly noticed as natural before that renewal.
The rhythm of that voice—its uniqueness felt familiar to him like certain notes from northern birds when he returned to his homeland, like an old natural thing brought back to life, yet something he hadn’t really acknowledged as natural until that moment of renewal.
They entered the Belvedere. In the lower part it was formed of close wood-work nailed crosswise, and had openings in the upper by way of windows.
They walked into the Belvedere. The lower part was made of tightly nailed wood, arranged crosswise, and it had openings at the top that served as windows.
The scratch of a striking light was heard, and a bright glow radiated from the interior of the building. The light gave birth to dancing leaf-shadows, stem-shadows, lustrous streaks, dots, sparkles, and threads of silver sheen of all imaginable variety and transience. It awakened gnats, which flew towards it, revealed shiny gossamer threads, disturbed earthworms. Stephen gave but little attention to these phenomena, and less time. He saw in the summer-house a strongly illuminated picture.
The sound of a sudden light being struck echoed, and a bright glow shone from inside the building. The light created dancing shadows of leaves and stems, shiny streaks, dots, sparkles, and threads of silver shimmer in all kinds of variations and moments. It roused gnats, which buzzed toward it, revealed shiny cobwebs, and disturbed earthworms. Stephen paid little attention to these occurrences and even less time. He saw a vividly lit scene in the summer house.
First, the face of his friend and preceptor Henry Knight, between whom and himself an estrangement had arisen, not from any definite causes beyond those of absence, increasing age, and diverging sympathies.
First, the face of his friend and mentor Henry Knight, with whom he had grown distant, not due to any specific reasons other than time apart, getting older, and differing interests.
Next, his bright particular star, Elfride. The face of Elfride was more womanly than when she had called herself his, but as clear and healthy as ever. Her plenteous twines of beautiful hair were looking much as usual, with the exception of a slight modification in their arrangement in deference to the changes of fashion.
Next, his special star, Elfride. Elfride's face was more mature than when she had claimed him as hers, but just as clear and healthy as always. Her abundant, beautiful hair looked pretty much the same, except for a slight change in how it was arranged to keep up with the latest trends.
Their two foreheads were close together, almost touching, and both were looking down. Elfride was holding her watch, Knight was holding the light with one hand, his left arm being round her waist. Part of the scene reached Stephen’s eyes through the horizontal bars of woodwork, which crossed their forms like the ribs of a skeleton.
Their foreheads were nearly touching as they both looked down. Elfride held her watch, while Knight used one hand to hold the light, his left arm wrapped around her waist. Part of the scene came into view for Stephen through the horizontal wooden bars, crossing their bodies like the ribs of a skeleton.
Knight’s arm stole still further round the waist of Elfride.
Knight's arm wrapped even more around Elfride's waist.
“It is half-past eight,” she said in a low voice, which had a peculiar music in it, seemingly born of a thrill of pleasure at the new proof that she was beloved.
“It’s eight-thirty,” she said softly, her voice having a unique melody, seemingly filled with excitement at the new evidence that she was loved.
The flame dwindled down, died away, and all was wrapped in a darkness to which the gloom before the illumination bore no comparison in apparent density. Stephen, shattered in spirit and sick to his heart’s centre, turned away. In turning, he saw a shadowy outline behind the summer-house on the other side. His eyes grew accustomed to the darkness. Was the form a human form, or was it an opaque bush of juniper?
The flame flickered out, leaving everything enveloped in a darkness that was far denser than the gloom that came before the light. Stephen, feeling broken and deeply troubled, turned away. As he did, he noticed a shadowy shape behind the summer house on the other side. His eyes adjusted to the darkness. Was the shape a person, or just a thick juniper bush?
The lovers arose, brushed against the laurestines, and pursued their way to the house. The indistinct figure had moved, and now passed across Smith’s front. So completely enveloped was the person, that it was impossible to discern him or her any more than as a shape. The shape glided noiselessly on.
The lovers got up, brushed against the laurestines, and continued toward the house. The vague figure had shifted and now passed in front of Smith. The person was so completely wrapped up that it was impossible to identify them as anything more than a silhouette. The silhouette moved silently on.
Stephen stepped forward, fearing any mischief was intended to the other two. “Who are you?” he said.
Stephen stepped forward, worried that any trouble was meant for the other two. “Who are you?” he asked.
“Never mind who I am,” answered a weak whisper from the enveloping folds. “WHAT I am, may she be! Perhaps I knew well—ah, so well!—a youth whose place you took, as he there now takes yours. Will you let her break your heart, and bring you to an untimely grave, as she did the one before you?”
“Forget about who I am,” replied a faint whisper from the surrounding folds. “WHAT I am, may she be! Maybe I knew well—oh, so well!—a young man whose spot you’ve taken, just like he now takes yours. Will you let her break your heart and lead you to an early grave, like she did to the one before you?”
“You are Mrs. Jethway, I think. What do you do here? And why do you talk so wildly?”
“You're Mrs. Jethway, right? What do you do here? And why do you speak so wildly?”
“Because my heart is desolate, and nobody cares about it. May hers be so that brought trouble upon me!”
“Because my heart is broken, and no one cares about it. May hers be the same as the one that brought me this pain!”
“Silence!” said Stephen, staunch to Elfride in spite of himself. “She would harm nobody wilfully, never would she! How do you come here?”
“Silence!” Stephen said, standing firm with Elfride despite himself. “She wouldn’t harm anyone on purpose, she never would! How did you get here?”
“I saw the two coming up the path, and wanted to learn if she were not one of them. Can I help disliking her if I think of the past? Can I help watching her if I remember my boy? Can I help ill-wishing her if I well-wish him?”
“I saw the two coming up the path and wanted to find out if she was one of them. Can I help disliking her if I think about the past? Can I help watching her if I remember my boy? Can I help wishing her ill if I genuinely wish him well?”
The bowed form went on, passed through the wicket, and was enveloped by the shadows of the field.
The bent figure continued on, walked through the gate, and disappeared into the shadows of the field.
Stephen had heard that Mrs. Jethway, since the death of her son, had become a crazed, forlorn woman; and bestowing a pitying thought upon her, he dismissed her fancied wrongs from his mind, but not her condemnation of Elfride’s faithlessness. That entered into and mingled with the sensations his new experience had begotten. The tale told by the little scene he had witnessed ran parallel with the unhappy woman’s opinion, which, however baseless it might have been antecedently, had become true enough as regarded himself.
Stephen had heard that Mrs. Jethway, since her son's death, had become a crazy, heartbroken woman. He felt a twinge of pity for her and pushed her imagined grievances out of his mind, but he couldn't shake off her judgment of Elfride’s unfaithfulness. That thought mixed with the feelings that his new experience had stirred up. The story conveyed by the little scene he had seen matched the unhappy woman’s view, which, despite being unfounded before, had become true enough in his case.
A slow weight of despair, as distinct from a violent paroxysm as starvation from a mortal shot, filled him and wrung him body and soul. The discovery had not been altogether unexpected, for throughout his anxiety of the last few days since the night in the churchyard, he had been inclined to construe the uncertainty unfavourably for himself. His hopes for the best had been but periodic interruptions to a chronic fear of the worst.
A heavy sense of despair, different from a violent outburst like starvation is from a fatal gunshot, overwhelmed him and drained him emotionally and physically. The realization hadn’t come as a complete shock, because during his anxiety over the past few days since that night in the graveyard, he had tended to view the uncertainty negatively. His hopes for a positive outcome had only been temporary breaks in a constant fear of the worst.
A strange concomitant of his misery was the singularity of its form. That his rival should be Knight, whom once upon a time he had adored as a man is very rarely adored by another in modern times, and whom he loved now, added deprecation to sorrow, and cynicism to both. Henry Knight, whose praises he had so frequently trumpeted in her ears, of whom she had actually been jealous, lest she herself should be lessened in Stephen’s love on account of him, had probably won her the more easily by reason of those very praises which he had only ceased to utter by her command. She had ruled him like a queen in that matter, as in all others. Stephen could tell by her manner, brief as had been his observation of it, and by her words, few as they were, that her position was far different with Knight. That she looked up at and adored her new lover from below his pedestal, was even more perceptible than that she had smiled down upon Stephen from a height above him.
A strange aspect of his misery was how unique it was. That his rival should be Knight, a man he had once idolized, is something that's rarely seen in today's world. The fact that he still cared for Knight added guilt to his sadness, and cynicism to both feelings. Henry Knight, whose praises he had often sung to her, the very man she had been jealous of, fearing it would hurt her standing in Stephen’s love, had probably won her over more easily because of those praises he had only stopped sharing at her request. She had managed him like a queen in that matter, as in all others. Stephen could tell from her behavior, even though he had observed it briefly, and from her few words, that her relationship with Knight was on a different level. It was even more evident that she looked up to her new lover from below his pedestal than it had been when she had smiled down at Stephen from above.
The suddenness of Elfride’s renunciation of himself was food for more torture. To an unimpassioned outsider, it admitted of at least two interpretations—it might either have proceeded from an endeavour to be faithful to her first choice, till the lover seen absolutely overpowered the lover remembered, or from a wish not to lose his love till sure of the love of another. But to Stephen Smith the motive involved in the latter alternative made it untenable where Elfride was the actor.
The suddenness of Elfride’s decision to renounce herself was even more painful. For someone detached, it could be interpreted in at least two ways—it might have come from an effort to stay true to her first choice until the lover she was with completely overshadowed the one she remembered, or it could stem from a desire not to lose his love until she was certain of another's love. But for Stephen Smith, the motive behind the second possibility made it impossible to accept when Elfride was the one involved.
He mused on her letters to him, in which she had never mentioned a syllable concerning Knight. It is desirable, however, to observe that only in two letters could she possibly have done so. One was written about a week before Knight’s arrival, when, though she did not mention his promised coming to Stephen, she had hardly a definite reason in her mind for neglecting to do it. In the next she did casually allude to Knight. But Stephen had left Bombay long before that letter arrived.
He thought about her letters to him, in which she never mentioned a word about Knight. It's important to note, though, that she only could have referenced him in two letters. One was written about a week before Knight’s arrival, when she didn’t mention his promised visit to Stephen, but didn’t really have a solid reason for not doing so. In the other, she casually mentioned Knight. But Stephen had already left Bombay long before that letter arrived.
Stephen looked at the black form of the adjacent house, where it cut a dark polygonal notch out of the sky, and felt that he hated the spot. He did not know many facts of the case, but could not help instinctively associating Elfride’s fickleness with the marriage of her father, and their introduction to London society. He closed the iron gate bounding the shrubbery as noiselessly as he had opened it, and went into the grassy field. Here he could see the old vicarage, the house alone that was associated with the sweet pleasant time of his incipient love for Elfride. Turning sadly from the place that was no longer a nook in which his thoughts might nestle when he was far away, he wandered in the direction of the east village, to reach his father’s house before they retired to rest.
Stephen looked at the dark shape of the neighboring house, where it cut a grim polygon out of the sky, and felt an intense dislike for the place. He didn’t know many details about the situation, but he couldn’t help but instinctively link Elfride’s fickleness to her father’s marriage and their entry into London society. He closed the iron gate surrounding the shrubs as quietly as he had opened it and walked into the grassy field. Here, he could see the old vicarage, the only house that reminded him of the sweet, happy time when his love for Elfride was just starting. Turning away sadly from the spot that was no longer a refuge for his thoughts when he was far away, he wandered toward the east village to get to his father’s house before they went to bed.
The nearest way to the cottage was by crossing the park. He did not hurry. Happiness frequently has reason for haste, but it is seldom that desolation need scramble or strain. Sometimes he paused under the low-hanging arms of the trees, looking vacantly on the ground.
The quickest route to the cottage was through the park. He didn't rush. Happiness often has a reason to hurry, but desolation rarely feels the need to scramble or struggle. Occasionally, he stopped under the low-hanging branches of the trees, staring blankly at the ground.
Stephen was standing thus, scarcely less crippled in thought than he was blank in vision, when a clear sound permeated the quiet air about him, and spread on far beyond. The sound was the stroke of a bell from the tower of East Endelstow Church, which stood in a dell not forty yards from Lord Luxellian’s mansion, and within the park enclosure. Another stroke greeted his ear, and gave character to both: then came a slow succession of them.
Stephen was standing there, just as lost in thought as he was visually impaired, when a clear sound broke through the quiet air around him and echoed far beyond. It was the ringing of a bell from the tower of East Endelstow Church, located in a small valley not even forty yards from Lord Luxellian’s mansion, inside the park. Another ring reached his ears, adding further significance to both sounds; then a slow series of them followed.
“Somebody is dead,” he said aloud.
“Someone is dead,” he said out loud.
The death-knell of an inhabitant of the eastern parish was being tolled.
The funeral bells for a resident of the eastern parish were ringing.
An unusual feature in the tolling was that it had not been begun according to the custom in Endelstow and other parishes in the neighbourhood. At every death the sex and age of the deceased were announced by a system of changes. Three times three strokes signified that the departed one was a man; three times two, a woman; twice three, a boy; twice two, a girl. The regular continuity of the tolling suggested that it was the resumption rather than the beginning of a knell—the opening portion of which Stephen had not been near enough to hear.
An unusual aspect of the tolling was that it hadn’t started like it usually did in Endelstow and nearby parishes. With each death, the sex and age of the deceased were indicated through a series of changes. Three sets of three strokes signified that the deceased was a man; three sets of two, a woman; two sets of three, a boy; and two sets of two, a girl. The steady continuation of the tolling implied that it was a resumption rather than a commencement of the knell—the initial part of which Stephen had not been close enough to hear.
The momentary anxiety he had felt with regard to his parents passed away. He had left them in perfect health, and had any serious illness seized either, a communication would have reached him ere this. At the same time, since his way homeward lay under the churchyard yews, he resolved to look into the belfry in passing by, and speak a word to Martin Cannister, who would be there.
The brief anxiety he felt about his parents faded away. He had left them in great health, and if either of them had gotten seriously ill, he would have heard about it by now. At the same time, since his route home went past the churchyard yews, he decided to stop by the belfry and have a chat with Martin Cannister, who would be there.
Stephen reached the brow of the hill, and felt inclined to renounce his idea. His mood was such that talking to any person to whom he could not unburden himself would be wearisome. However, before he could put any inclination into effect, the young man saw from amid the trees a bright light shining, the rays from which radiated like needles through the sad plumy foliage of the yews. Its direction was from the centre of the churchyard.
Stephen reached the top of the hill and felt like giving up on his idea. He was in a mood where talking to anyone he couldn't fully open up to would be exhausting. However, before he could act on that feeling, he noticed a bright light shining through the trees, its rays piercing through the gloomy, feathery leaves of the yews. The light was coming from the center of the churchyard.
Stephen mechanically went forward. Never could there be a greater contrast between two places of like purpose than between this graveyard and that of the further village. Here the grass was carefully tended, and formed virtually a part of the manor-house lawn; flowers and shrubs being planted indiscriminately over both, whilst the few graves visible were mathematically exact in shape and smoothness, appearing in the daytime like chins newly shaven. There was no wall, the division between God’s Acre and Lord Luxellian’s being marked only by a few square stones set at equidistant points. Among those persons who have romantic sentiments on the subject of their last dwelling-place, probably the greater number would have chosen such a spot as this in preference to any other: a few would have fancied a constraint in its trim neatness, and would have preferred the wild hill-top of the neighbouring site, with Nature in her most negligent attire.
Stephen moved forward automatically. There could hardly be a bigger contrast between two places with the same purpose than between this graveyard and the one in the next village. Here, the grass was meticulously maintained, almost blending into the manor-house lawn; flowers and shrubs were randomly planted throughout, while the few visible graves were perfectly shaped and smooth, looking like freshly shaven chins in the daylight. There was no wall, the boundary between God’s Acre and Lord Luxellian’s being marked only by a few square stones placed at equal distances. Among those who hold romantic views about their final resting place, most would likely choose a spot like this over any other: a few might find its neatness a bit stifling and would prefer the untamed hilltop of the nearby site, with Nature in her most casual form.
The light in the churchyard he next discovered to have its source in a point very near the ground, and Stephen imagined it might come from a lantern in the interior of a partly-dug grave. But a nearer approach showed him that its position was immediately under the wall of the aisle, and within the mouth of an archway. He could now hear voices, and the truth of the whole matter began to dawn upon him. Walking on towards the opening, Smith discerned on his left hand a heap of earth, and before him a flight of stone steps which the removed earth had uncovered, leading down under the edifice. It was the entrance to a large family vault, extending under the north aisle.
The light in the churchyard was coming from a spot close to the ground, and Stephen thought it might be from a lantern inside a partially dug grave. But as he got closer, he realized it was right under the wall of the aisle and inside the mouth of an archway. He could now hear voices, and the truth of the whole situation started to become clear to him. As he walked toward the opening, Smith noticed a pile of dirt on his left and a set of stone steps straight ahead that had been uncovered by the displaced earth, leading down beneath the building. It was the entrance to a large family vault that extended under the north aisle.
Stephen had never before seen it open, and descending one or two steps stooped to look under the arch. The vault appeared to be crowded with coffins, with the exception of an open central space, which had been necessarily kept free for ingress and access to the sides, round three of which the coffins were stacked in stone bins or niches.
Stephen had never seen it open before, and after going down a step or two, he bent down to look under the arch. The vault seemed full of coffins, except for a clear central area that had to be kept open for entry and access to the sides, where the coffins were arranged in stone bins or niches.
The place was well lighted with candles stuck in slips of wood that were fastened to the wall. On making the descent of another step the living inhabitants of the vault were recognizable. They were his father the master-mason, an under-mason, Martin Cannister, and two or three young and old labouring-men. Crowbars and workmen’s hammers were scattered about. The whole company, sitting round on coffins which had been removed from their places, apparently for some alteration or enlargement of the vault, were eating bread and cheese, and drinking ale from a cup with two handles, passed round from each to each.
The place was well lit with candles stuck in pieces of wood attached to the wall. As I took another step down, I could see the living inhabitants of the vault. They were his father, the master mason, an under-mason named Martin Cannister, and a few young and old laborers. Crowbars and workmen’s hammers were scattered around. The whole group, sitting on coffins that had been moved for some renovation or expansion of the vault, were eating bread and cheese and drinking ale from a two-handled cup, passing it around among themselves.
“Who is dead?” Stephen inquired, stepping down.
“Who’s dead?” Stephen asked, stepping down.
Chapter XXVI
“To that last nothing under earth.”
“To that last nothing beneath the earth.”
All eyes were turned to the entrance as Stephen spoke, and the ancient-mannered conclave scrutinized him inquiringly.
All eyes were on the entrance as Stephen spoke, and the old-fashioned group looked at him with curiosity.
“Why, ’tis our Stephen!” said his father, rising from his seat; and, still retaining the frothy mug in his left hand, he swung forward his right for a grasp. “Your mother is expecting ye—thought you would have come afore dark. But you’ll wait and go home with me? I have all but done for the day, and was going directly.”
“Why, it’s our Stephen!” said his father, standing up; and, still holding the frothy mug in his left hand, he reached out his right for a handshake. “Your mother is waiting for you—she thought you would have come before dark. But will you wait and go home with me? I’m almost done for the day, and I was about to head out.”
“Yes, ’tis Master Stephy, sure enough. Glad to see you so soon again, Master Smith,” said Martin Cannister, chastening the gladness expressed in his words by a strict neutrality of countenance, in order to harmonize the feeling as much as possible with the solemnity of a family vault.
“Yes, it’s definitely Master Stephy. I’m pleased to see you again so soon, Master Smith,” said Martin Cannister, tempering the happiness in his words with a neutral expression, trying to match the feeling as closely as possible with the seriousness of a family tomb.
“The same to you, Martin; and you, William,” said Stephen, nodding around to the rest, who, having their mouths full of bread and cheese, were of necessity compelled to reply merely by compressing their eyes to friendly lines and wrinkles.
“Same to you, Martin; and you, William,” Stephen said, nodding to the others, who, with their mouths full of bread and cheese, could only respond by squinting their eyes into friendly creases and smiles.
“And who is dead?” Stephen repeated.
“And who’s dead?” Stephen asked again.
“Lady Luxellian, poor gentlewoman, as we all shall, said the under-mason. “Ay, and we be going to enlarge the vault to make room for her.”
“Lady Luxellian, poor gentlewoman, like we all will, said the under-mason. “Yeah, and we’re going to expand the vault to make space for her.”
“When did she die?”
"When did she pass away?"
“Early this morning,” his father replied, with an appearance of recurring to a chronic thought. “Yes, this morning. Martin hev been tolling ever since, almost. There, ’twas expected. She was very limber.”
“Early this morning,” his father replied, as if returning to a familiar thought. “Yeah, this morning. Martin has been ringing ever since, pretty much. There, it was expected. She was very agile.”
“Ay, poor soul, this morning,” resumed the under-mason, a marvellously old man, whose skin seemed so much too large for his body that it would not stay in position. “She must know by this time whether she’s to go up or down, poor woman.”
“Yeah, poor thing, this morning,” the under-mason continued, an incredibly old man whose skin looked way too big for his body, making it sag out of place. “She must know by now if she’s going up or down, poor woman.”
“What was her age?”
“How old was she?”
“Not more than seven or eight and twenty by candlelight. But, Lord! by day ’a was forty if ’a were an hour.”
“Not more than twenty-seven or twenty-eight by candlelight. But, wow! during the day he looked forty if he was an hour.”
“Ay, night-time or day-time makes a difference of twenty years to rich feymels,” observed Martin.
"Yeah, night or day makes a difference of twenty years to rich families," noted Martin.
“She was one and thirty really,” said John Smith. “I had it from them that know.”
“She was thirty-one, actually,” said John Smith. “I heard it from those who know.”
“Not more than that!”
"Not any more than that!"
“’A looked very bad, poor lady. In faith, ye might say she was dead for years afore ’a would own it.”
“A looked really bad, poor lady. Honestly, you could say she was dead for years before he would admit it.”
“As my old father used to say, ‘dead, but wouldn’t drop down.’”
“As my dad used to say, ‘dead, but wouldn’t fall over.’”
“I seed her, poor soul,” said a labourer from behind some removed coffins, “only but last Valentine’s-day of all the world. ’A was arm in crook wi’ my lord. I says to myself, ‘You be ticketed Churchyard, my noble lady, although you don’t dream on’t.’”
“I saw her, poor soul,” said a laborer from behind some moved coffins, “just last Valentine’s Day of all days. She was arm in arm with my lord. I thought to myself, ‘You’re marked for the graveyard, my noble lady, even though you don’t realize it.’”
“I suppose my lord will write to all the other lords anointed in the nation, to let ’em know that she that was is now no more?”
“I guess my lord will inform all the other lords in the nation to let them know that she who was here is now gone?”
“’Tis done and past. I see a bundle of letters go off an hour after the death. Sich wonderful black rims as they letters had—half-an-inch wide, at the very least.”
“It's done and over. I see a bundle of letters getting sent off an hour after the death. Such wonderfully thick black borders those letters had—at least half an inch wide.”
“Too much,” observed Martin. “In short, ’tis out of the question that a human being can be so mournful as black edges half-an-inch wide. I’m sure people don’t feel more than a very narrow border when they feels most of all.”
“Too much,” Martin remarked. “In short, there’s no way a person can be as sad as black edges that are half an inch wide. I’m sure people only feel a very slight margin when they feel the most.”
“And there are two little girls, are there not?” said Stephen.
“And there are two little girls, right?” said Stephen.
“Nice clane little faces!—left motherless now.”
“Nice clean little faces!—left motherless now.”
“They used to come to Parson Swancourt’s to play with Miss Elfride when I were there,” said William Worm. “Ah, they did so’s!” The latter sentence was introduced to add the necessary melancholy to a remark which, intrinsically, could hardly be made to possess enough for the occasion. “Yes,” continued Worm, “they’d run upstairs, they’d run down; flitting about with her everywhere. Very fond of her, they were. Ah, well!”
“They used to come to Parson Swancourt’s to hang out with Miss Elfride when I was there,” said William Worm. “Oh, they really did!” The last part was added to bring the needed sadness to a comment that, on its own, didn’t have enough for the moment. “Yeah,” Worm continued, “they’d run upstairs, they’d run downstairs; buzzing around with her all the time. They were very fond of her. Oh, well!”
“Fonder than ever they were of their mother, so ’tis said here and there,” added a labourer.
“More fond of their mother than ever, so it's said here and there,” added a worker.
“Well, you see, ’tis natural. Lady Luxellian stood aloof from ’em so—was so drowsy-like, that they couldn’t love her in the jolly-companion way children want to like folks. Only last winter I seed Miss Elfride talking to my lady and the two children, and Miss Elfride wiped their noses for em’ SO careful—my lady never once seeing that it wanted doing; and, naturally, children take to people that’s their best friend.”
“Well, you see, it’s natural. Lady Luxellian kept her distance from them—was so sleepy-like that they couldn’t love her in the friendly way kids want to like people. Just last winter, I saw Miss Elfride talking to my lady and the two kids, and Miss Elfride wiped their noses for them so carefully—my lady never even noticed it needed to be done; and, naturally, kids gravitate towards those who are their best friends.”
“Be as ’twill, the woman is dead and gone, and we must make a place for her,” said John. “Come, lads, drink up your ale, and we’ll just rid this corner, so as to have all clear for beginning at the wall, as soon as ’tis light to-morrow.”
“Whatever happens, the woman is dead and gone, and we need to make space for her,” said John. “Come on, guys, drink up your beer, and let’s clear this corner, so we can start working on the wall as soon as it’s light tomorrow.”
Stephen then asked where Lady Luxellian was to lie.
Stephen then asked where Lady Luxellian would be laid to rest.
“Here,” said his father. “We are going to set back this wall and make a recess; and ’tis enough for us to do before the funeral. When my lord’s mother died, she said, ‘John, the place must be enlarged before another can be put in.’ But ’a never expected ’twould be wanted so soon. Better move Lord George first, I suppose, Simeon?”
“Here,” said his father. “We’re going to push this wall back and create a recess; that’s all we need to do before the funeral. When my lord’s mother passed away, she said, ‘John, we need to make more room before another can be buried here.’ But I never thought it would be needed so soon. I guess we should move Lord George first, right, Simeon?”
He pointed with his foot to a heavy coffin, covered with what had originally been red velvet, the colour of which could only just be distinguished now.
He pointed with his foot to a heavy coffin, covered with what had once been red velvet, the color of which could barely be recognized now.
“Just as ye think best, Master John,” replied the shrivelled mason. “Ah, poor Lord George!” he continued, looking contemplatively at the huge coffin; “he and I were as bitter enemies once as any could be when one is a lord and t’other only a mortal man. Poor fellow! He’d clap his hand upon my shoulder and cuss me as familial and neighbourly as if he’d been a common chap. Ay, ’a cussed me up hill and ’a cussed me down; and then ’a would rave out again, and the goold clamps of his fine new teeth would glisten in the sun like fetters of brass, while I, being a small man and poor, was fain to say nothing at all. Such a strappen fine gentleman as he was too! Yes, I rather liked en sometimes. But once now and then, when I looked at his towering height, I’d think in my inside, ‘What a weight you’ll be, my lord, for our arms to lower under the aisle of Endelstow Church some day!’”
“Just do what you think is best, Master John,” replied the old mason. “Ah, poor Lord George!” he continued, gazing thoughtfully at the large coffin. “He and I used to be as fierce enemies as anyone could be when one is a lord and the other just a regular guy. Poor guy! He’d put his hand on my shoulder and curse me just like a family member or neighbor, as if he were an ordinary fellow. Yeah, he cursed me going uphill and cursed me going downhill; then he’d rant again, and the gold clamps on his brand-new teeth would shine in the sun like brass shackles, while I, being small and poor, could only stay quiet. He was such a fine gentleman! To be honest, I liked him sometimes. But once in a while, when I looked at his tall frame, I’d think to myself, ‘What a burden you’ll be, my lord, for us to carry under the aisle of Endelstow Church someday!’”
“And was he?” inquired a young labourer.
“And was he?” asked a young worker.
“He was. He was five hundredweight if ’a were a pound. What with his lead, and his oak, and his handles, and his one thing and t’other”—here the ancient man slapped his hand upon the cover with a force that caused a rattle among the bones inside—“he half broke my back when I took his feet to lower en down the steps there. ‘Ah,’ saith I to John there—didn’t I, John?—‘that ever one man’s glory should be such a weight upon another man!’ But there, I liked my lord George sometimes.”
“He was. He weighed five hundred pounds if he weighed an ounce. With his lead, his oak, his handles, and all the other things”—here the old man slapped his hand on the cover with enough force to rattle the bones inside—“he almost broke my back when I took his feet to lower him down the steps there. ‘Ah,’ I said to John there—didn’t I, John?—‘that one man’s glory should be such a burden on another man!’ But still, I liked my lord George sometimes.”
“’Tis a strange thought,” said another, “that while they be all here under one roof, a snug united family o’ Luxellians, they be really scattered miles away from one another in the form of good sheep and wicked goats, isn’t it?”
“It's a strange thought,” said another, “that while they’re all here under one roof, a cozy united family of Luxellians, they're really spread miles apart from each other in the form of good sheep and bad goats, don’t you think?”
“True; ’tis a thought to look at.”
“True; it’s a thought to consider.”
“And that one, if he’s gone upward, don’t know what his wife is doing no more than the man in the moon if she’s gone downward. And that some unfortunate one in the hot place is a-hollering across to a lucky one up in the clouds, and quite forgetting their bodies be boxed close together all the time.”
“And that guy, if he’s moved up, has no idea what his wife is doing any more than the man in the moon knows if she’s gone down. And that poor soul in the hot place is shouting over to a lucky one up in the clouds, completely forgetting that their bodies are crammed together all the time.”
“Ay, ’tis a thought to look at, too, that I can say ‘Hullo!’ close to fiery Lord George, and ’a can’t hear me.”
“Ay, it’s interesting to consider that I can say ‘Hello!’ right next to fiery Lord George, and he can’t hear me.”
“And that I be eating my onion close to dainty Lady Jane’s nose, and she can’t smell me.”
“And here I am, eating my onion right under dainty Lady Jane’s nose, and she can’t smell it.”
“What do ’em put all their heads one way for?” inquired a young man.
“What do they all have their heads turned that way for?” a young man asked.
“Because ’tis churchyard law, you simple. The law of the living is, that a man shall be upright and down-right, and the law of the dead is, that a man shall be east and west. Every state of society have its laws.”
“Because it's churchyard law, you simpleton. The law of the living is that a man should stand tall and true, and the law of the dead is that a man should lie east and west. Every society has its own laws.”
“We must break the law wi’ a few of the poor souls, however. Come, buckle to,” said the master-mason.
“We have to break the law with a few of the poor souls, though. Come on, let’s get to work,” said the master-mason.
And they set to work anew.
And they got to work again.
The order of interment could be distinctly traced by observing the appearance of the coffins as they lay piled around. On those which had been standing there but a generation or two the trappings still remained. Those of an earlier period showed bare wood, with a few tattered rags dangling therefrom. Earlier still, the wood lay in fragments on the floor of the niche, and the coffin consisted of naked lead alone; whilst in the case of the very oldest, even the lead was bulging and cracking in pieces, revealing to the curious eye a heap of dust within. The shields upon many were quite loose, and removable by the hand, their lustreless surfaces still indistinctly exhibiting the name and title of the deceased.
The order of burial was easy to see by looking at the condition of the coffins piled around. Those that had been there for just a generation or two still had some decorations on them. The older ones were just bare wood, with a few ragged pieces hanging from them. Even older, the wood was broken up on the floor of the niche, and the coffin was just plain lead; and for the very oldest ones, even the lead was bulging and cracking apart, exposing a pile of dust inside to anyone who cared to look. The shields on many of them were quite loose and could be removed by hand, their dull surfaces still faintly showing the name and title of the deceased.
Overhead the groins and concavities of the arches curved in all directions, dropping low towards the walls, where the height was no more than sufficient to enable a person to stand upright.
Above, the curves and dips of the arches stretched in every direction, sloping down toward the walls, where the height was barely enough for someone to stand upright.
The body of George the fourteenth baron, together with two or three others, all of more recent date than the great bulk of coffins piled there, had, for want of room, been placed at the end of the vault on tressels, and not in niches like the others. These it was necessary to remove, to form behind them the chamber in which they were ultimately to be deposited. Stephen, finding the place and proceedings in keeping with the sombre colours of his mind, waited there still.
The body of George the fourteenth baron, along with two or three others, all more recently buried than the large number of coffins stacked there, had been placed at the end of the vault on trestles due to a lack of space, rather than in niches like the others. It was necessary to move them to create the chamber where they would eventually be laid to rest. Stephen, feeling that the surroundings and activities matched the dark mood in his mind, remained there quietly.
“Simeon, I suppose you can mind poor Lady Elfride, and how she ran away with the actor?” said John Smith, after awhile. “I think it fell upon the time my father was sexton here. Let us see—where is she?”
“Simeon, I guess you remember poor Lady Elfride and how she ran off with the actor?” said John Smith after a moment. “I think it happened when my dad was the sexton here. Let’s see—where is she?”
“Here somewhere,” returned Simeon, looking round him.
“Right around here,” replied Simeon, glancing around.
“Why, I’ve got my arms round the very gentlewoman at this moment.” He lowered the end of the coffin he was holding, wiped his face, and throwing a morsel of rotten wood upon another as an indicator, continued: “That’s her husband there. They was as fair a couple as you should see anywhere round about; and a good-hearted pair likewise. Ay, I can mind it, though I was but a chiel at the time. She fell in love with this young man of hers, and their banns were asked in some church in London; and the old lord her father actually heard ’em asked the three times, and didn’t notice her name, being gabbled on wi’ a host of others. When she had married she told her father, and ’a fleed into a monstrous rage, and said she shouldn’ hae a farthing. Lady Elfride said she didn’t think of wishing it; if he’d forgie her ’twas all she asked, and as for a living, she was content to play plays with her husband. This frightened the old lord, and ’a gie’d ’em a house to live in, and a great garden, and a little field or two, and a carriage, and a good few guineas. Well, the poor thing died at her first gossiping, and her husband—who was as tender-hearted a man as ever eat meat, and would have died for her—went wild in his mind, and broke his heart (so ’twas said). Anyhow, they were buried the same day—father and mother—but the baby lived. Ay, my lord’s family made much of that man then, and put him here with his wife, and there in the corner the man is now. The Sunday after there was a funeral sermon: the text was, ‘Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken;’ and when ’twas preaching the men drew their hands across their eyes several times, and every woman cried out loud.”
“Right now, I’ve got my arms around the very lady we're talking about.” He lowered the end of the coffin he was holding, wiped his face, and, tossing a piece of rotten wood onto another as a signal, continued: “That’s her husband over there. They were as lovely a couple as you’d find anywhere nearby; and they had good hearts too. Yeah, I remember it, even though I was just a kid at the time. She fell in love with this young man, and they announced their engagement in some church in London; and her old lord father actually heard the announcements three times without noticing her name, which was muddled in with a lot of others. After they got married, she told her father, and he flew into a huge rage, saying he wouldn’t give her a penny. Lady Elfride said she didn’t even want that; all she asked was for him to forgive her, and as for a living, she was happy to act in plays with her husband. This scared the old lord, and he ended up giving them a house to live in, a big garden, a couple of small fields, a carriage, and quite a few guineas. Well, the poor thing died during her first childbirth, and her husband—who was the most tender-hearted man and would have died for her—lost his mind and supposedly broke his heart. Either way, they were buried on the same day—mother and father—but the baby survived. Yeah, my lord’s family took great care of that man afterward and had him buried here with his wife, and now he’s in that corner. The Sunday after, there was a funeral sermon: the text was, ‘Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken;’ and while it was being preached, the men wiped their eyes several times, and every woman cried loudly.”
“And what became of the baby?” said Stephen, who had frequently heard portions of the story.
“And what happened to the baby?” said Stephen, who had often heard parts of the story.
“She was brought up by her grandmother, and a pretty maid she were. And she must needs run away with the curate—Parson Swancourt that is now. Then her grandmother died, and the title and everything went away to another branch of the family altogether. Parson Swancourt wasted a good deal of his wife’s money, and she left him Miss Elfride. That trick of running away seems to be handed down in families, like craziness or gout. And they two women be alike as peas.”
“She was raised by her grandmother, and she was quite the pretty maid. And she had to run away with the curate—Parson Swancourt, that is. Then her grandmother died, and the title and everything went to another branch of the family entirely. Parson Swancourt wasted a lot of his wife’s money, and she left him Miss Elfride. That tendency to run away seems to run in families, just like craziness or gout. And those two women are as alike as two peas.”
“Which two?”
"Which ones?"
“Lady Elfride and young Miss that’s alive now. The same hair and eyes: but Miss Elfride’s mother was darker a good deal.”
“Lady Elfride and the young Miss that’s alive now. The same hair and eyes, but Miss Elfride’s mother was a lot darker.”
“Life’s a strangle bubble, ye see,” said William Worm musingly. “For if the Lord’s anointment had descended upon women instead of men, Miss Elfride would be Lord Luxellian—Lady, I mane. But as it is, the blood is run out, and she’s nothing to the Luxellian family by law, whatever she may be by gospel.”
“Life’s a weird bubble, you see,” said William Worm thoughtfully. “If the Lord’s blessing had been given to women instead of men, Miss Elfride would be Lord Luxellian—Lady, I mean. But as it stands, the bloodline isn’t there, and she’s nothing to the Luxellian family by law, no matter what she might be by belief.”
“I used to fancy,” said Simeon, “when I seed Miss Elfride hugging the little ladyships, that there was a likeness; but I suppose ’twas only my dream, for years must have altered the old family shape.”
“I used to think,” said Simeon, “when I saw Miss Elfride hugging the little ladies, that there was a resemblance; but I guess it was just my imagination, because years must have changed the old family look.”
“And now we’ll move these two, and home-along,” interposed John Smith, reviving, as became a master, the spirit of labour, which had showed unmistakable signs of being nearly vanquished by the spirit of chat, “The flagon of ale we don’t want we’ll let bide here till to-morrow; none of the poor souls will touch it ’a b’lieve.”
“And now we’ll move these two, and head home,” interrupted John Smith, bringing back the spirit of work, which was almost defeated by the urge to chat. “We’ll leave the flagon of ale we don’t want here until tomorrow; I don’t think any of the poor souls will touch it.”
So the evening’s work was concluded, and the party drew from the abode of the quiet dead, closing the old iron door, and shooting the lock loudly into the huge copper staple—an incongruous act of imprisonment towards those who had no dreams of escape.
So the evening’s work was done, and the group left the home of the quiet dead, shutting the old iron door and loudly locking it into the huge copper staple—an odd act of imprisonment toward those who had no thoughts of escaping.
Chapter XXVII
“How should I greet thee?”
“How should I greet you?”
Love frequently dies of time alone—much more frequently of displacement. With Elfride Swancourt, a powerful reason why the displacement should be successful was that the new-comer was a greater man than the first. By the side of the instructive and piquant snubbings she received from Knight, Stephen’s general agreeableness seemed watery; by the side of Knight’s spare love-making, Stephen’s continual outflow seemed lackadaisical. She had begun to sigh for somebody further on in manhood. Stephen was hardly enough of a man.
Love often fades away simply due to time, but even more so because of being replaced. In the case of Elfride Swancourt, a major reason the new arrival succeeded was that he was a more impressive person than the first. Compared to the sharp and enlightening rebukes she got from Knight, Stephen's overall charm came off as weak; alongside Knight’s limited attempts at romance, Stephen’s constant attention felt lethargic. She started to yearn for someone more mature. Stephen just didn’t measure up as a man.
Perhaps there was a proneness to inconstancy in her nature—a nature, to those who contemplate it from a standpoint beyond the influence of that inconstancy, the most exquisite of all in its plasticity and ready sympathies. Partly, too, Stephen’s failure to make his hold on her heart a permanent one was his too timid habit of dispraising himself beside her—a peculiarity which, exercised towards sensible men, stirs a kindly chord of attachment that a marked assertiveness would leave untouched, but inevitably leads the most sensible woman in the world to undervalue him who practises it. Directly domineering ceases in the man, snubbing begins in the woman; the trite but no less unfortunate fact being that the gentler creature rarely has the capacity to appreciate fair treatment from her natural complement. The abiding perception of the position of Stephen’s parents had, of course, a little to do with Elfride’s renunciation. To such girls poverty may not be, as to the more worldly masses of humanity, a sin in itself; but it is a sin, because graceful and dainty manners seldom exist in such an atmosphere. Few women of old family can be thoroughly taught that a fine soul may wear a smock-frock, and an admittedly common man in one is but a worm in their eyes. John Smith’s rough hands and clothes, his wife’s dialect, the necessary narrowness of their ways, being constantly under Elfride’s notice, were not without their deflecting influence.
Maybe there was a tendency toward inconsistency in her nature—a nature that, for those who view it from a perspective beyond that inconsistency, is the most exquisite in its adaptability and empathy. Partly, too, Stephen's inability to make his place in her heart a permanent one was due to his habit of understating his worth beside her—a trait that can create a warm bond with sensible men, which a confident demeanor wouldn't affect, but inevitably causes even the most sensible woman to undervalue the man who shows it. Once the man stops being domineering, the woman starts to dismiss him; the unfortunate reality is that the gentler partner often struggles to recognize fair treatment from her natural equal. The lingering awareness of Stephen's parents' situation, of course, played a role in Elfride's decision. For such girls, poverty isn’t, as it is for the broader society, a sin in itself; but it becomes a sin because graceful and refined manners are rarely found in that environment. Few women from respectable families can truly learn that a noble spirit can wear simple clothing, and an ordinary man in one is just looked down upon by them. John Smith's rough hands and outfit, his wife's accent, and the limitations of their lifestyle, constantly in Elfride's view, had their impact on her thoughts.
On reaching home after the perilous adventure by the sea-shore, Knight had felt unwell, and retired almost immediately. The young lady who had so materially assisted him had done the same, but she reappeared, properly clothed, about five o’clock. She wandered restlessly about the house, but not on account of their joint narrow escape from death. The storm which had torn the tree had merely bowed the reed, and with the deliverance of Knight all deep thought of the accident had left her. The mutual avowal which it had been the means of precipitating occupied a far longer length of her meditations.
On getting home after the dangerous adventure by the shore, Knight felt sick and went to bed almost right away. The young woman who had helped him so much did the same, but she came back around five o’clock, fully dressed. She moved around the house restlessly, but it wasn’t because of their narrow escape from death. The storm that had uprooted the tree had only bent the reed, and with Knight’s relief, all serious thoughts about the accident had left her. The mutual confession that had come about because of it occupied her thoughts for much longer.
Elfride’s disquiet now was on account of that miserable promise to meet Stephen, which returned like a spectre again and again. The perception of his littleness beside Knight grew upon her alarmingly. She now thought how sound had been her father’s advice to her to give him up, and was as passionately desirous of following it as she had hitherto been averse. Perhaps there is nothing more hardening to the tone of young minds than thus to discover how their dearest and strongest wishes become gradually attuned by Time the Cynic to the very note of some selfish policy which in earlier days they despised.
Elfride’s unease now stemmed from that miserable promise to meet Stephen, which haunted her like a ghost over and over. She became increasingly aware of how small he seemed next to Knight. She reflected on how wise her father had been to advise her to let him go, and she felt as passionately driven to follow that advice now as she had once been opposed to it. Perhaps nothing hardens young minds more than realizing how their deepest and strongest desires are slowly tuned by Time the Cynic to match some selfish agenda that they once looked down on.
The hour of appointment came, and with it a crisis; and with the crisis a collapse.
The appointment time arrived, bringing a crisis with it, and along with the crisis came a breakdown.
“God forgive me—I can’t meet Stephen!” she exclaimed to herself. “I don’t love him less, but I love Mr. Knight more!”
“God forgive me—I can’t meet Stephen!” she said to herself. “I don’t love him any less, but I love Mr. Knight more!”
Yes: she would save herself from a man not fit for her—in spite of vows. She would obey her father, and have no more to do with Stephen Smith. Thus the fickle resolve showed signs of assuming the complexion of a virtue.
Yes: she would save herself from a man unworthy of her—despite the vows. She would listen to her father and have nothing more to do with Stephen Smith. Thus, the changeable decision began to take on the appearance of a virtue.
The following days were passed without any definite avowal from Knight’s lips. Such solitary walks and scenes as that witnessed by Smith in the summer-house were frequent, but he courted her so intangibly that to any but such a delicate perception as Elfride’s it would have appeared no courtship at all. The time now really began to be sweet with her. She dismissed the sense of sin in her past actions, and was automatic in the intoxication of the moment. The fact that Knight made no actual declaration was no drawback. Knowing since the betrayal of his sentiments that love for her really existed, she preferred it for the present in its form of essence, and was willing to avoid for awhile the grosser medium of words. Their feelings having been forced to a rather premature demonstration, a reaction was indulged in by both.
The next few days went by without any clear declaration from Knight. He often took solitary walks and spent time in the summer-house like Smith had seen, but his approach to her was so subtle that it wouldn’t have felt like courtship to anyone but someone as sensitive as Elfride. She found herself enjoying this time more and more. She brushed aside any guilt about her past actions and got lost in the moment. The fact that Knight hadn't actually confessed wasn't a problem for her. After realizing that he truly felt love for her, she preferred it in its current unspoken form and was happy to avoid the clumsiness of words for a while. Since their feelings had surfaced a bit too soon, they both allowed themselves to take a step back.
But no sooner had she got rid of her troubled conscience on the matter of faithlessness than a new anxiety confronted her. It was lest Knight should accidentally meet Stephen in the parish, and that herself should be the subject of discourse.
But as soon as she managed to shake off her troubled conscience about being unfaithful, a new worry came up. She was afraid that Knight might accidentally run into Stephen in the neighborhood, and that she would become the topic of their conversation.
Elfride, learning Knight more thoroughly, perceived that, far from having a notion of Stephen’s precedence, he had no idea that she had ever been wooed before by anybody. On ordinary occasions she had a tongue so frank as to show her whole mind, and a mind so straightforward as to reveal her heart to its innermost shrine. But the time for a change had come. She never alluded to even a knowledge of Knight’s friend. When women are secret they are secret indeed; and more often than not they only begin to be secret with the advent of a second lover.
Elfride, getting to know Knight better, realized that, far from being aware of Stephen's past with her, he had no clue that she had ever been pursued by anyone else. Normally, she was so open that she would express her thoughts completely, and her mind was so clear that it exposed her deepest feelings. But now, things had to change. She never mentioned anything about knowing Knight’s friend. When women choose to be secretive, they really keep things to themselves; and more often than not, they only start to hide things when a second lover comes into the picture.
The elopement was now a spectre worse than the first, and, like the Spirit in Glenfinlas, it waxed taller with every attempt to lay it. Her natural honesty invited her to confide in Knight, and trust to his generosity for forgiveness: she knew also that as mere policy it would be better to tell him early if he was to be told at all. The longer her concealment the more difficult would be the revelation. But she put it off. The intense fear which accompanies intense love in young women was too strong to allow the exercise of a moral quality antagonistic to itself:
The elopement felt like an even worse ghost than before, and, just like the Spirit in Glenfinlas, it grew bigger with every attempt to confront it. Her innate honesty urged her to open up to Knight and hope for his understanding and forgiveness; she also recognized that, from a practical standpoint, it would be better to share the truth with him sooner rather than later if she was going to tell him at all. The longer she kept it a secret, the harder it would be to reveal. But she delayed it. The intense fear that often comes with passionate love in young women was too strong to allow her to act in a way that went against it.
“Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;
Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.”
“Where love is strong, even the smallest doubts are scary;
Where small fears become significant, that’s where strong love exists.”
The match was looked upon as made by her father and mother. The vicar remembered her promise to reveal the meaning of the telegram she had received, and two days after the scene in the summer-house, asked her pointedly. She was frank with him now.
The match was seen as arranged by her father and mother. The vicar recalled her promise to explain the meaning of the telegram she had received, and two days after the encounter in the summer-house, he asked her directly. She was open with him now.
“I had been corresponding with Stephen Smith ever since he left England, till lately,” she calmly said.
“I had been in touch with Stephen Smith ever since he left England, until recently,” she said calmly.
“What!” cried the vicar aghast; “under the eyes of Mr. Knight, too?”
“What!” the vicar exclaimed in shock; “under Mr. Knight’s watchful eye, too?”
“No; when I found I cared most for Mr. Knight, I obeyed you.”
“No, when I realized I cared the most about Mr. Knight, I listened to you.”
“You were very kind, I’m sure. When did you begin to like Mr. Knight?”
“You were really kind, I'm sure. When did you start to like Mr. Knight?”
“I don’t see that that is a pertinent question, papa; the telegram was from the shipping agent, and was not sent at my request. It announced the arrival of the vessel bringing him home.”
“I don’t think that’s a relevant question, Dad; the telegram was from the shipping agent and wasn’t sent at my request. It stated that the vessel bringing him home has arrived.”
“Home! What, is he here?”
“Home! Wait, is he here?”
“Yes; in the village, I believe.”
“Yes; I think it’s in the village.”
“Has he tried to see you?”
“Has he attempted to meet with you?”
“Only by fair means. But don’t, papa, question me so! It is torture.”
“Only by fair means. But please, Dad, don’t question me like that! It’s torture.”
“I will only say one word more,” he replied. “Have you met him?”
“I'll just say one more thing,” he said. “Have you met him?”
“I have not. I can assure you that at the present moment there is no more of an understanding between me and the young man you so much disliked than between him and you. You told me to forget him; and I have forgotten him.”
“I haven’t. I can assure you that right now there is no more of an understanding between me and the young man you disliked so much than between him and you. You told me to forget him; and I have forgotten him.”
“Oh, well; though you did not obey me in the beginning, you are a good girl, Elfride, in obeying me at last.”
“Oh, well; even though you didn’t listen to me at first, you’re a good girl, Elfride, for finally following my lead.”
“Don’t call me ‘good,’ papa,” she said bitterly; “you don’t know—and the less said about some things the better. Remember, Mr. Knight knows nothing about the other. Oh, how wrong it all is! I don’t know what I am coming to.”
“Don’t call me ‘good,’ Dad,” she said bitterly; “you don’t know—and the less said about some things, the better. Remember, Mr. Knight doesn’t know anything about the other. Oh, how wrong it all is! I don’t know what I’m coming to.”
“As matters stand, I should be inclined to tell him; or, at any rate, I should not alarm myself about his knowing. He found out the other day that this was the parish young Smith’s father lives in—what puts you in such a flurry?”
“As things are right now, I would feel like telling him; or, at the very least, I wouldn’t worry about him knowing. He discovered the other day that this is the parish where young Smith’s father lives—what's got you so worked up?”
“I can’t say; but promise—pray don’t let him know! It would be my ruin!”
“I can’t say, but please promise—don’t let him find out! It would destroy me!”
“Pooh, child. Knight is a good fellow and a clever man; but at the same time it does not escape my perceptions that he is no great catch for you. Men of his turn of mind are nothing so wonderful in the way of husbands. If you had chosen to wait, you might have mated with a much wealthier man. But remember, I have not a word to say against your having him, if you like him. Charlotte is delighted, as you know.”
“Pooh, dear. Knight is a decent guy and smart; but I can’t help but notice he’s not exactly a prize for you. Men like him aren't exactly great husbands. If you had decided to wait, you could have ended up with someone much richer. But just remember, I’m not against you being with him if that’s what you want. Charlotte is thrilled, as you know.”
“Well, papa,” she said, smiling hopefully through a sigh, “it is nice to feel that in giving way to—to caring for him, I have pleased my family. But I am not good; oh no, I am very far from that!”
“Well, Dad,” she said, smiling hopefully through a sigh, “it’s nice to feel that by taking care of him, I’ve made my family happy. But I’m not a good person; oh no, I’m really far from that!”
“None of us are good, I am sorry to say,” said her father blandly; “but girls have a chartered right to change their minds, you know. It has been recognized by poets from time immemorial. Catullus says, ‘Mulier cupido quod dicit amanti, in vento—’ What a memory mine is! However, the passage is, that a woman’s words to a lover are as a matter of course written only on wind and water. Now don’t be troubled about that, Elfride.”
“None of us are great, I hate to say,” her father said flatly; “but girls have every right to change their minds, you know. This has been acknowledged by poets for ages. Catullus says, ‘What a woman says to her lover is written only on wind and water.’ What a memory I have! Anyway, the point is, a woman’s words to a lover are, by nature, fleeting. So, don’t worry about that, Elfride.”
“Ah, you don’t know!”
"Ah, you have no idea!"
They had been standing on the lawn, and Knight was now seen lingering some way down a winding walk. When Elfride met him, it was with a much greater lightness of heart; things were more straightforward now. The responsibility of her fickleness seemed partly shifted from her own shoulders to her father’s. Still, there were shadows.
They had been standing on the lawn, and Knight was now seen hanging around a bit down the winding path. When Elfride met him, she felt much lighter; things were clearer now. The weight of her indecision seemed to shift a bit from her own shoulders to her father's. Still, there were shadows.
“Ah, could he have known how far I went with Stephen, and yet have said the same, how much happier I should be!” That was her prevailing thought.
“Ah, if only he had known how far I went with Stephen, and yet still said the same, how much happier I would be!” That was her main thought.
In the afternoon the lovers went out together on horseback for an hour or two; and though not wishing to be observed, by reason of the late death of Lady Luxellian, whose funeral had taken place very privately on the previous day, they yet found it necessary to pass East Endelstow Church.
In the afternoon, the lovers went out together on horseback for an hour or two. Although they didn’t want to be seen because of the recent passing of Lady Luxellian, whose funeral had taken place very privately the day before, they still found it necessary to pass East Endelstow Church.
The steps to the vault, as has been stated, were on the outside of the building, immediately under the aisle wall. Being on horseback, both Knight and Elfride could overlook the shrubs which screened the church-yard.
The steps to the vault, as mentioned before, were on the outside of the building, right under the aisle wall. From their horses, both Knight and Elfride could see over the shrubs that blocked the view of the churchyard.
“Look, the vault seems still to be open,” said Knight.
“Look, the vault still seems to be open,” said Knight.
“Yes, it is open,” she answered
“Yes, it’s open,” she said.
“Who is that man close by it? The mason, I suppose?”
“Who is that guy standing nearby? The mason, I guess?”
“Yes.”
"Sure."
“I wonder if it is John Smith, Stephen’s father?”
"I wonder if that’s John Smith, Stephen’s dad?"
“I believe it is,” said Elfride, with apprehension.
“I think it is,” Elfride said nervously.
“Ah, and can it be? I should like to inquire how his son, my truant protegé, is going on. And from your father’s description of the vault, the interior must be interesting. Suppose we go in.”
“Ah, can it be? I’d like to ask how his son, my wayward protegé, is doing. And based on your father’s description of the vault, it must be interesting inside. What do you say we go in?”
“Had we better, do you think? May not Lord Luxellian be there?”
“Do you think we should go? What if Lord Luxellian is there?”
“It is not at all likely.”
"Not likely."
Elfride then assented, since she could do nothing else. Her heart, which at first had quailed in consternation, recovered itself when she considered the character of John Smith. A quiet unassuming man, he would be sure to act towards her as before those love passages with his son, which might have given a more pretentious mechanic airs. So without much alarm she took Knight’s arm after dismounting, and went with him between and over the graves. The master-mason recognized her as she approached, and, as usual, lifted his hat respectfully.
Elfride then agreed, since she had no other option. Her heart, which had initially sunk in shock, steadied as she thought about John Smith's character. A quiet and humble man, he would surely treat her the same way he had before those romantic moments with his son, which might have made a showy mechanic act differently. So, without much worry, she took Knight’s arm after getting off the horse and walked with him among the graves. The master mason recognized her as she got closer and, as usual, tipped his hat respectfully.
“I know you to be Mr. Smith, my former friend Stephen’s father,” said Knight, directly he had scanned the embrowned and ruddy features of John.
“I recognize you as Mr. Smith, my old friend Stephen’s dad,” said Knight after he had looked over the weathered and sun-kissed face of John.
“Yes, sir, I b’lieve I be.”
“Yes, sir, I believe I am.”
“How is your son now? I have only once heard from him since he went to India. I daresay you have heard him speak of me—Mr. Knight, who became acquainted with him some years ago in Exonbury.”
“How is your son doing now? I've only heard from him once since he went to India. I’m sure he has mentioned me—Mr. Knight, who got to know him a few years back in Exonbury.”
“Ay, that I have. Stephen is very well, thank you, sir, and he’s in England; in fact, he’s at home. In short, sir, he’s down in the vault there, a-looking at the departed coffins.”
“Ay, I have. Stephen is doing well, thank you, sir, and he’s in England; actually, he’s at home. In short, sir, he’s down in the vault there, looking at the departed coffins.”
Elfride’s heart fluttered like a butterfly.
Elfride’s heart raced like a butterfly.
Knight looked amazed. “Well, that is extraordinary.” he murmured. “Did he know I was in the parish?”
Knight looked amazed. “Well, that’s extraordinary,” he murmured. “Did he know I was in the area?”
“I really can’t say, sir,” said John, wishing himself out of the entanglement he rather suspected than thoroughly understood.
“I really can’t say, sir,” John replied, wishing he could escape the situation he suspected but didn’t fully understand.
“Would it be considered an intrusion by the family if we went into the vault?”
“Would the family see it as an intrusion if we entered the vault?”
“Oh, bless ye, no, sir; scores of folk have been stepping down. ’Tis left open a-purpose.”
“Oh, no, sir; plenty of people have been going out. It’s left open on purpose.”
“We will go down, Elfride.”
“We're heading down, Elfride.”
“I am afraid the air is close,” she said appealingly.
“I’m worried the air is stuffy,” she said appealingly.
“Oh no, ma’am,” said John. “We white-limed the walls and arches the day ’twas opened, as we always do, and again on the morning of the funeral; the place is as sweet as a granary.
“Oh no, ma’am,” said John. “We whitewashed the walls and arches the day it was opened, like we always do, and again on the morning of the funeral; the place is as fresh as a granary.”
“Then I should like you to accompany me, Elfie; having originally sprung from the family too.”
“Then I’d like you to come with me, Elfie; since you also come from the family.”
“I don’t like going where death is so emphatically present. I’ll stay by the horses whilst you go in; they may get loose.”
“I don’t like being where death is so obvious. I’ll stay with the horses while you go inside; they might get loose.”
“What nonsense! I had no idea your sentiments were so flimsily formed as to be perturbed by a few remnants of mortality; but stay out, if you are so afraid, by all means.”
“What nonsense! I had no idea your feelings were so weak that they'd be shaken by a few signs of death; but if you’re that scared, by all means, stay out.”
“Oh no, I am not afraid; don’t say that.”
“Oh no, I'm not scared; don’t say that.”
She held miserably to his arm, thinking that, perhaps, the revelation might as well come at once as ten minutes later, for Stephen would be sure to accompany his friend to his horse.
She clung miserably to his arm, thinking that maybe the revelation should just come now instead of waiting ten more minutes, since Stephen would definitely go with his friend to his horse.
At first, the gloom of the vault, which was lighted only by a couple of candles, was too great to admit of their seeing anything distinctly; but with a further advance Knight discerned, in front of the black masses lining the walls, a young man standing, and writing in a pocket-book.
At first, the darkness of the vault, lit only by a couple of candles, was too overwhelming for them to see anything clearly; but as they moved forward, Knight noticed a young man standing in front of the dark shapes along the walls, writing in a pocketbook.
Knight said one word: “Stephen!”
Knight said one word: "Steve!"
Stephen Smith, not being in such absolute ignorance of Knight’s whereabouts as Knight had been of Smith’s instantly recognized his friend, and knew by rote the outlines of the fair woman standing behind him.
Stephen Smith, not completely unaware of where Knight was as Knight had been of his location, instantly recognized his friend and could easily recall the features of the attractive woman standing behind him.
Stephen came forward and shook him by the hand, without speaking.
Stephen stepped forward and shook his hand without saying a word.
“Why have you not written, my boy?” said Knight, without in any way signifying Elfride’s presence to Stephen. To the essayist, Smith was still the country lad whom he had patronized and tended; one to whom the formal presentation of a lady betrothed to himself would have seemed incongruous and absurd.
“Why haven’t you written, my boy?” said Knight, without indicating Elfride’s presence to Stephen. To the essayist, Smith was still the country lad he had mentored and looked out for; one to whom the formal introduction of a lady engaged to him would have felt out of place and ridiculous.
“Why haven’t you written to me?” said Stephen.
“Why haven't you written to me?” Stephen asked.
“Ah, yes. Why haven’t I? why haven’t we? That’s always the query which we cannot clearly answer without an unsatisfactory sense of our inadequacies. However, I have not forgotten you, Smith. And now we have met; and we must meet again, and have a longer chat than this can conveniently be. I must know all you have been doing. That you have thriven, I know, and you must teach me the way.”
“Ah, yes. Why haven’t I? Why haven’t we? That’s always the question we can’t clearly answer without feeling unsatisfied about our shortcomings. But I haven’t forgotten you, Smith. And now we’ve met; we need to meet again and have a longer conversation than this can allow. I need to know everything you’ve been up to. I know you’ve been doing well, and you have to show me how.”
Elfride stood in the background. Stephen had read the position at a glance, and immediately guessed that she had never mentioned his name to Knight. His tact in avoiding catastrophes was the chief quality which made him intellectually respectable, in which quality he far transcended Knight; and he decided that a tranquil issue out of the encounter, without any harrowing of the feelings of either Knight or Elfride, was to be attempted if possible. His old sense of indebtedness to Knight had never wholly forsaken him; his love for Elfride was generous now.
Elfride stood in the background. Stephen quickly assessed the situation and realized that she had never brought up his name to Knight. His ability to sidestep disasters was the main trait that made him intellectually respectable, a quality he far surpassed Knight in; he resolved to try for a smooth resolution to the encounter, aiming to avoid upsetting either Knight or Elfride if he could. His sense of obligation to Knight lingered with him, and his love for Elfride was genuinely generous now.
As far as he dared look at her movements he saw that her bearing towards him would be dictated by his own towards her; and if he acted as a stranger she would do likewise as a means of deliverance. Circumstances favouring this course, it was desirable also to be rather reserved towards Knight, to shorten the meeting as much as possible.
As much as he could watch her movements, he realized that her attitude toward him would be determined by how he treated her. If he acted like a stranger, she would respond the same way to free herself from the situation. Given the circumstances, it was also wise to be somewhat distant with Knight to make the meeting as short as possible.
“I am afraid that my time is almost too short to allow even of such a pleasure,” he said. “I leave here to-morrow. And until I start for the Continent and India, which will be in a fortnight, I shall have hardly a moment to spare.”
“I’m afraid I don’t have much time for that kind of pleasure,” he said. “I’m leaving here tomorrow. And until I head off to the Continent and India in two weeks, I won’t have a moment to spare.”
Knight’s disappointment and dissatisfied looks at this reply sent a pang through Stephen as great as any he had felt at the sight of Elfride. The words about shortness of time were literally true, but their tone was far from being so. He would have been gratified to talk with Knight as in past times, and saw as a dead loss to himself that, to save the woman who cared nothing for him, he was deliberately throwing away his friend.
Knight’s disappointment and disapproving looks at this reply struck Stephen hard, just like any feeling he had experienced when he saw Elfride. The statement about time being short was technically accurate, but the way it was said felt completely different. He would have been happy to chat with Knight like they used to, and he recognized that, in an effort to protect the woman who didn’t care about him, he was intentionally giving up his friendship.
“Oh, I am sorry to hear that,” said Knight, in a changed tone. “But of course, if you have weighty concerns to attend to, they must not be neglected. And if this is to be our first and last meeting, let me say that I wish you success with all my heart!” Knight’s warmth revived towards the end; the solemn impressions he was beginning to receive from the scene around them abstracting from his heart as a puerility any momentary vexation at words. “It is a strange place for us to meet in,” he continued, looking round the vault.
“Oh, I’m really sorry to hear that,” Knight said, changing his tone. “But of course, if you have important things to deal with, they shouldn’t be ignored. And if this is our first and last meeting, I want to wish you all the success in the world!” Knight’s warmth returned toward the end; the serious feelings he was starting to get from the scene around them made any momentary annoyance at the conversation feel trivial. “It’s a strange place for us to meet,” he added, glancing around the vault.
Stephen briefly assented, and there was a silence. The blackened coffins were now revealed more clearly than at first, the whitened walls and arches throwing them forward in strong relief. It was a scene which was remembered by all three as an indelible mark in their history. Knight, with an abstracted face, was standing between his companions, though a little in advance of them, Elfride being on his right hand, and Stephen Smith on his left. The white daylight on his right side gleamed faintly in, and was toned to a blueness by contrast with the yellow rays from the candle against the wall. Elfride, timidly shrinking back, and nearest the entrance, received most of the light therefrom, whilst Stephen was entirely in candlelight, and to him the spot of outer sky visible above the steps was as a steely blue patch, and nothing more.
Stephen nodded briefly, and then there was silence. The dark coffins were now more clearly visible than before, the white walls and arches making them stand out prominently. It was a scene that all three remembered as a lasting moment in their history. Knight, with a distant look on his face, stood slightly ahead of his companions, with Elfride on his right and Stephen Smith on his left. The white daylight on his right side shone softly in, contrasting with the yellow light from the candle on the wall. Elfride, timidly stepping back and closest to the entrance, caught most of the light, while Stephen was completely lit by candlelight, and to him, the small patch of outer sky visible above the steps appeared as a steely blue spot, and nothing more.
“I have been here two or three times since it was opened,” said Stephen. “My father was engaged in the work, you know.”
“I’ve been here two or three times since it opened,” Stephen said. “My dad was involved in the work, you know.”
“Yes. What are you doing?” Knight inquired, looking at the note-book and pencil Stephen held in his hand.
“Yes. What are you up to?” Knight asked, looking at the notebook and pencil Stephen was holding.
“I have been sketching a few details in the church, and since then I have been copying the names from some of the coffins here. Before I left England I used to do a good deal of this sort of thing.”
“I’ve been drawing some details in the church, and since then I’ve been copying the names from a few of the coffins here. Before I left England, I used to do a lot of this kind of thing.”
“Yes; of course. Ah, that’s poor Lady Luxellian, I suppose.” Knight pointed to a coffin of light satin-wood, which stood on the stone sleepers in the new niche. “And the remainder of the family are on this side. Who are those two, so snug and close together?”
“Yeah, of course. Ah, that must be poor Lady Luxellian, I guess.” Knight pointed to a coffin made of light satin-wood, resting on the stone supports in the new niche. “And the rest of the family is over here. Who are those two, all cozy and close together?”
Stephen’s voice altered slightly as he replied “That’s Lady Elfride Kingsmore—born Luxellian, and that is Arthur, her husband. I have heard my father say that they—he—ran away with her, and married her against the wish of her parents.”
Stephen’s voice changed a bit as he responded, “That’s Lady Elfride Kingsmore—originally from Luxellia, and that’s Arthur, her husband. I’ve heard my dad say that they—he—eloped with her and married her against her parents' wishes.”
“Then I imagine this to be where you got your Christian name, Miss Swancourt?” said Knight, turning to her. “I think you told me it was three or four generations ago that your family branched off from the Luxellians?”
“Then I guess this is where you got your Christian name, Miss Swancourt?” said Knight, turning to her. “I believe you mentioned that your family branched off from the Luxellians three or four generations ago?”
“She was my grandmother,” said Elfride, vainly endeavouring to moisten her dry lips before she spoke. Elfride had then the conscience-stricken look of Guido’s Magdalen, rendered upon a more childlike form. She kept her face partially away from Knight and Stephen, and set her eyes upon the sky visible outside, as if her salvation depended upon quickly reaching it. Her left hand rested lightly within Knight’s arm, half withdrawn, from a sense of shame at claiming him before her old lover, yet unwilling to renounce him; so that her glove merely touched his sleeve. “‘Can one be pardoned, and retain the offence?’” quoted Elfride’s heart then.
“She was my grandmother,” Elfride said, trying in vain to moisten her dry lips before speaking. Elfride had the guilt-stricken look of Guido’s Magdalen, but in a more childlike form. She turned her face slightly away from Knight and Stephen, fixing her gaze on the sky outside, as if her salvation depended on reaching it soon. Her left hand rested lightly on Knight’s arm, half withdrawn out of shame for claiming him in front of her old lover, yet unwilling to let him go; her glove barely brushed against his sleeve. “‘Can one be pardoned, and retain the offense?’” Elfride’s heart echoed.
Conversation seemed to have no self-sustaining power, and went on in the shape of disjointed remarks. “One’s mind gets thronged with thoughts while standing so solemnly here,” Knight said, in a measured quiet voice. “How much has been said on death from time to time! how much we ourselves can think upon it! We may fancy each of these who lie here saying:
Conversation felt like it lacked any real momentum, flowing as disconnected comments. “Standing here so seriously, it’s hard not to be overwhelmed with thoughts,” Knight said in a calm voice. “So much has been said about death over time! And how much we ourselves ponder it! We might imagine each of those lying here saying:
“For Thou, to make my fall more great,
Didst lift me up on high.”
“For you, to make my fall even greater,
Lifted me up high.”
What comes next, Elfride? It is the Hundred-and-second Psalm I am thinking of.”
What comes next, Elfride? I'm thinking about the Hundred-and-second Psalm."
“Yes, I know it,” she murmured, and went on in a still lower voice, seemingly afraid for any words from the emotional side of her nature to reach Stephen:
“Yes, I know,” she murmured, and continued in an even softer voice, as if afraid that any feelings from her emotional side would reach Stephen:
“‘My days, just hastening to their end,
Are like an evening shade;
My beauty doth, like wither’d grass,
With waning lustre fade.’”
“‘My days are just speeding toward their end,
Like the shadow of the evening;
My beauty, like withered grass,
Is fading with diminishing light.’”
“Well,” said Knight musingly, “let us leave them. Such occasions as these seem to compel us to roam outside ourselves, far away from the fragile frame we live in, and to expand till our perception grows so vast that our physical reality bears no sort of proportion to it. We look back upon the weak and minute stem on which this luxuriant growth depends, and ask, Can it be possible that such a capacity has a foundation so small? Must I again return to my daily walk in that narrow cell, a human body, where worldly thoughts can torture me? Do we not?”
“Well,” Knight said, thinking out loud, “let’s just leave them be. Moments like these make us feel like we need to step outside of ourselves, far away from the fragile bodies we inhabit, and expand until our understanding becomes so immense that our physical reality feels completely disproportionate to it. We reflect on the weak and tiny stem that supports this abundant growth and wonder, is it really possible that such immense capacity is built on something so small? Am I really going to go back to my everyday routine in this cramped space, a human body, where worldly concerns can torment me? Don’t we?”
“Yes,” said Stephen and Elfride.
“Yes,” said Stephen and Elfride.
“One has a sense of wrong, too, that such an appreciative breadth as a sentient being possesses should be committed to the frail casket of a body. What weakens one’s intentions regarding the future like the thought of this?...However, let us tune ourselves to a more cheerful chord, for there’s a great deal to be done yet by us all.”
“One feels a sense of injustice that such a wide-ranging appreciation as a conscious being has should be confined to the fragile shell of a body. What undermines one’s hopes for the future more than this thought?...However, let’s adjust our mindset to a happier note, because there’s still so much we all need to accomplish.”
As Knight meditatively addressed his juniors thus, unconscious of the deception practised, for different reasons, by the severed hearts at his side, and of the scenes that had in earlier days united them, each one felt that he and she did not gain by contrast with their musing mentor. Physically not so handsome as either the youthful architect or the vicar’s daughter, the thoroughness and integrity of Knight illuminated his features with a dignity not even incipient in the other two. It is difficult to frame rules which shall apply to both sexes, and Elfride, an undeveloped girl, must, perhaps, hardly be laden with the moral responsibilities which attach to a man in like circumstances. The charm of woman, too, lies partly in her subtleness in matters of love. But if honesty is a virtue in itself, Elfride, having none of it now, seemed, being for being, scarcely good enough for Knight. Stephen, though deceptive for no unworthy purpose, was deceptive after all; and whatever good results grace such strategy if it succeed, it seldom draws admiration, especially when it fails.
As Knight thoughtfully spoke to his juniors, unaware of the deceit represented by the split hearts beside him and the memories that had previously brought them together, each one felt that they couldn't measure up to their reflective mentor. He wasn't as physically attractive as either the young architect or the vicar’s daughter, but the depth and integrity of Knight gave his features a dignified quality that the other two lacked. It's tough to create rules that fit both genders, and Elfride, who was still naive, shouldn’t be burdened with the same moral responsibilities a man would face in similar situations. Part of a woman's charm is her subtlety in love matters. However, if honesty is a virtue, Elfride, lacking it now, seemed somewhat unworthy of Knight just as she was. Stephen’s deception, while not for an unworthy cause, was still deception; and no matter how good the results of such strategies may be if they succeed, they rarely earn admiration, especially when they fail.
On an ordinary occasion, had Knight been even quite alone with Stephen, he would hardly have alluded to his possible relationship to Elfride. But moved by attendant circumstances Knight was impelled to be confiding.
On an ordinary occasion, if Knight had been alone with Stephen, he probably wouldn’t have mentioned his possible connection to Elfride. However, due to the circumstances surrounding him, Knight felt compelled to open up.
“Stephen,” he said, “this lady is Miss Swancourt. I am staying at her father’s house, as you probably know.” He stepped a few paces nearer to Smith, and said in a lower tone: “I may as well tell you that we are engaged to be married.”
“Stephen,” he said, “this is Miss Swancourt. I’m staying at her father's house, as you probably know.” He moved a little closer to Smith and said in a quieter voice, “I should let you know that we’re engaged to be married.”
Low as the words had been spoken, Elfride had heard them, and awaited Stephen’s reply in breathless silence, if that could be called silence where Elfride’s dress, at each throb of her heart, shook and indicated it like a pulse-glass, rustling also against the wall in reply to the same throbbing. The ray of daylight which reached her face lent it a blue pallor in comparison with those of the other two.
Low as the words had been spoken, Elfride had heard them, and waited for Stephen’s reply in breathless silence, if that could be called silence where Elfride’s dress, with each beat of her heart, shook and signaled it like a pulse-meter, rustling against the wall in response to the same beating. The beam of daylight that reached her face gave it a blue pallor compared to those of the other two.
“I congratulate you,” Stephen whispered; and said aloud, “I know Miss Swancourt—a little. You must remember that my father is a parishioner of Mr. Swancourt’s.”
“I congratulate you,” Stephen whispered; and said aloud, “I know Miss Swancourt—a little. You must remember that my dad is a member of Mr. Swancourt’s parish.”
“I thought you might possibly not have lived at home since they have been here.”
“I thought you might not have lived at home since they arrived.”
“I have never lived at home, certainly, since that time.”
“I have never lived at home since then.”
“I have seen Mr. Smith,” faltered Elfride.
“I've seen Mr. Smith,” stammered Elfride.
“Well, there is no excuse for me. As strangers to each other I ought, I suppose, to have introduced you: as acquaintances, I should not have stood so persistently between you. But the fact is, Smith, you seem a boy to me, even now.”
“Well, I have no excuse. Since we’re strangers, I guess I should have introduced you; as acquaintances, I shouldn’t have stood so firmly between you. But honestly, Smith, you still seem like a kid to me, even now.”
Stephen appeared to have a more than previous consciousness of the intense cruelty of his fate at the present moment. He could not repress the words, uttered with a dim bitterness:
Stephen seemed to have a heightened awareness of the intense cruelty of his fate at that moment. He couldn’t hold back the words that came out with a faint bitterness:
“You should have said that I seemed still the rural mechanic’s son I am, and hence an unfit subject for the ceremony of introductions.”
“You should have said that I still seem like the rural mechanic’s son I am, and so I'm not really the right person for the ceremony of introductions.”
“Oh, no, no! I won’t have that.” Knight endeavoured to give his reply a laughing tone in Elfride’s ears, and an earnestness in Stephen’s: in both which efforts he signally failed, and produced a forced speech pleasant to neither. “Well, let us go into the open air again; Miss Swancourt, you are particularly silent. You mustn’t mind Smith. I have known him for years, as I have told you.”
“Oh, no, no! I can’t accept that.” Knight tried to make his response sound lighthearted to Elfride and serious to Stephen, but he was completely unsuccessful, ending up with a forced tone that didn’t please either of them. “Well, let’s step outside again; Miss Swancourt, you’re especially quiet. Don’t let Smith bother you. I’ve known him for years, as I mentioned.”
“Yes, you have,” she said.
“Yes, you have,” she replied.
“To think she has never mentioned her knowledge of me!” Smith murmured, and thought with some remorse how much her conduct resembled his own on his first arrival at her house as a stranger to the place.
“To think she has never brought up that she knows me!” Smith murmured, and he reflected with some regret on how much her behavior was like his own when he first arrived at her house as a stranger.
They ascended to the daylight, Knight taking no further notice of Elfride’s manner, which, as usual, he attributed to the natural shyness of a young woman at being discovered walking with him on terms which left not much doubt of their meaning. Elfride stepped a little in advance, and passed through the churchyard.
They walked up to the daylight, with Knight paying no more attention to Elfride’s behavior, which he typically linked to the natural shyness of a young woman caught walking with him in a way that clearly implied something more. Elfride moved slightly ahead and walked through the churchyard.
“You are changed very considerably, Smith,” said Knight, “and I suppose it is no more than was to be expected. However, don’t imagine that I shall feel any the less interest in you and your fortunes whenever you care to confide them to me. I have not forgotten the attachment you spoke of as your reason for going away to India. A London young lady, was it not? I hope all is prosperous?”
“You’ve changed a lot, Smith,” Knight said, “and I guess that’s to be expected. But don’t think for a second that I’m any less interested in you and what’s going on in your life whenever you want to share. I haven’t forgotten about the girl you mentioned as your reason for going to India. A young lady from London, right? I hope everything’s going well?”
“No: the match is broken off.”
“Not happening: the match is off.”
It being always difficult to know whether to express sorrow or gladness under such circumstances—all depending upon the character of the match—Knight took shelter in the safe words: “I trust it was for the best.”
It’s always tricky to know whether to show sadness or happiness in situations like this—it really depends on how the match turns out—so Knight played it safe with the words: “I hope it was for the best.”
“I hope it was. But I beg that you will not press me further: no, you have not pressed me—I don’t mean that—but I would rather not speak upon the subject.”
“I hope it was. But I ask that you won’t push me any further: no, you haven’t pushed me—I don’t mean that—but I’d prefer not to talk about it.”
Stephen’s words were hurried.
Stephen spoke quickly.
Knight said no more, and they followed in the footsteps of Elfride, who still kept some paces in advance, and had not heard Knight’s unconscious allusion to her. Stephen bade him adieu at the churchyard-gate without going outside, and watched whilst he and his sweetheart mounted their horses.
Knight said nothing more, and they followed Elfride, who was a few steps ahead and hadn’t heard Knight’s unintentional reference to her. Stephen said goodbye to him at the churchyard gate without stepping outside and watched as he and his girlfriend got on their horses.
“Good heavens, Elfride,” Knight exclaimed, “how pale you are! I suppose I ought not to have taken you into that vault. What is the matter?”
“Good heavens, Elfride,” Knight exclaimed, “you look so pale! I guess I shouldn’t have taken you into that vault. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” said Elfride faintly. “I shall be myself in a moment. All was so strange and unexpected down there, that it made me unwell.”
“Nothing,” Elfride said softly. “I’ll be fine in a moment. Everything down there was so strange and unexpected that it made me feel sick.”
“I thought you said very little. Shall I get some water?”
“I thought you said hardly anything. Should I get some water?”
“No, no.”
"No way."
“Do you think it is safe for you to mount?”
“Do you think it’s safe for you to get on?”
“Quite—indeed it is,” she said, with a look of appeal.
“Absolutely—it really is,” she said, with a pleading look.
“Now then—up she goes!” whispered Knight, and lifted her tenderly into the saddle.
“Alright—here we go!” whispered Knight, and gently lifted her onto the saddle.
Her old lover still looked on at the performance as he leant over the gate a dozen yards off. Once in the saddle, and having a firm grip of the reins, she turned her head as if by a resistless fascination, and for the first time since that memorable parting on the moor outside St. Launce’s after the passionate attempt at marriage with him, Elfride looked in the face of the young man she first had loved. He was the youth who had called her his inseparable wife many a time, and whom she had even addressed as her husband. Their eyes met. Measurement of life should be proportioned rather to the intensity of the experience than to its actual length. Their glance, but a moment chronologically, was a season in their history. To Elfride the intense agony of reproach in Stephen’s eye was a nail piercing her heart with a deadliness no words can describe. With a spasmodic effort she withdrew her eyes, urged on the horse, and in the chaos of perturbed memories was oblivious of any presence beside her. The deed of deception was complete.
Her old lover was still watching the performance as he leaned over the gate a dozen yards away. Once in the saddle, with a firm grip on the reins, she turned her head as if drawn by an irresistible force, and for the first time since that unforgettable parting on the moor outside St. Launce’s after their passionate attempt at marriage, Elfride looked into the face of the young man she had first loved. He was the guy who had called her his inseparable wife many times, and whom she had even referred to as her husband. Their eyes met. The measure of life should be based more on the intensity of the experience than on its actual length. Their glance, just a moment in time, was a season in their history. To Elfride, the intense pain of reproach in Stephen’s eyes felt like a nail piercing her heart in a way that words couldn’t describe. With a sudden effort, she withdrew her gaze, urged on the horse, and in the chaos of troubled memories, she didn’t notice anyone else around her. The act of deception was complete.
Gaining a knoll on which the park transformed itself into wood and copse, Knight came still closer to her side, and said, “Are you better now, dearest?”
Gaining a hill where the park changed into woods and thickets, Knight moved even closer to her side and said, “Are you feeling better now, my dear?”
“Oh yes.” She pressed a hand to her eyes, as if to blot out the image of Stephen. A vivid scarlet spot now shone with preternatural brightness in the centre of each cheek, leaving the remainder of her face lily-white as before.
“Oh yeah.” She pressed a hand to her eyes, like she was trying to block out the image of Stephen. A bright red spot now stood out unusually in the center of each cheek, leaving the rest of her face pale white as it had been before.
“Elfride,” said Knight, rather in his old tone of mentor, “you know I don’t for a moment chide you, but is there not a great deal of unwomanly weakness in your allowing yourself to be so overwhelmed by the sight of what, after all, is no novelty? Every woman worthy of the name should, I think, be able to look upon death with something like composure. Surely you think so too?”
“Elfride,” Knight said, in the familiar tone of a mentor, “I’m not blaming you at all, but don’t you think it’s quite a bit of unwomanly weakness to let yourself be so overwhelmed by something that isn’t really new? Every woman who deserves the title should, I believe, be able to face death with some level of calm. You agree with that, right?”
“Yes; I own it.”
“Yep; I own it.”
His obtuseness to the cause of her indisposition, by evidencing his entire freedom from the suspicion of anything behind the scenes, showed how incapable Knight was of deception himself, rather than any inherent dulness in him regarding human nature. This, clearly perceived by Elfride, added poignancy to her self-reproach, and she idolized him the more because of their difference. Even the recent sight of Stephen’s face and the sound of his voice, which for a moment had stirred a chord or two of ancient kindness, were unable to keep down the adoration re-existent now that he was again out of view.
His cluelessness about the reason for her discomfort, showing that he was completely free of any suspicion of hidden motives, revealed how incapable Knight was of being deceptive, rather than any real dullness in his understanding of human nature. Elfride clearly saw this, which intensified her feelings of self-blame, and she admired him more because of their differences. Even the recent sight of Stephen’s face and the sound of his voice, which for a moment had stirred a few old feelings of kindness, couldn't suppress the adoration that came rushing back now that he was out of sight again.
She had replied to Knight’s question hastily, and immediately went on to speak of indifferent subjects. After they had reached home she was apart from him till dinner-time. When dinner was over, and they were watching the dusk in the drawing-room, Knight stepped out upon the terrace. Elfride went after him very decisively, on the spur of a virtuous intention.
She quickly answered Knight's question and then started talking about random topics. Once they got home, she kept her distance from him until dinner. After dinner, while they were watching the sunset in the living room, Knight stepped out onto the terrace. Elfride followed him firmly, driven by a sense of purpose.
“Mr. Knight, I want to tell you something,” she said, with quiet firmness.
“Mr. Knight, I need to tell you something,” she said, with calm determination.
“And what is it about?” gaily returned her lover. “Happiness, I hope. Do not let anything keep you so sad as you seem to have been to-day.”
“What's it about?” her lover cheerfully replied. “I hope it's about happiness. Don’t let anything keep you as sad as you've seemed today.”
“I cannot mention the matter until I tell you the whole substance of it,” she said. “And that I will do to-morrow. I have been reminded of it to-day. It is about something I once did, and don’t think I ought to have done.”
“I can't talk about it until I share the full details,” she said. “And I will do that tomorrow. It came back to me today. It's about something I once did, and I don't think I should have done it.”
This, it must be said, was rather a mild way of referring to a frantic passion and flight, which, much or little in itself, only accident had saved from being a scandal in the public eye.
This, it has to be mentioned, was a pretty tame way of describing a wild passion and escape, which, regardless of its significance, was only spared from becoming a public scandal by sheer luck.
Knight thought the matter some trifle, and said pleasantly:
Knight thought the issue was trivial and said cheerfully:
“Then I am not to hear the dreadful confession now?”
“Then I won't hear the awful confession now?”
“No, not now. I did not mean to-night,” Elfride responded, with a slight decline in the firmness of her voice. “It is not light as you think it—it troubles me a great deal.” Fearing now the effect of her own earnestness, she added forcedly, “Though, perhaps, you may think it light after all.”
“No, not now. I didn’t mean tonight,” Elfride replied, her voice wavering slightly. “It’s not as easy as you think—it really bothers me.” Worried about how her intensity was coming across, she added quickly, “Although, maybe you’ll still see it as easy after all.”
“But you have not said when it is to be?”
“But you haven't said when it’s supposed to be?”
“To-morrow morning. Name a time, will you, and bind me to it? I want you to fix an hour, because I am weak, and may otherwise try to get out of it.” She added a little artificial laugh, which showed how timorous her resolution was still.
“Tomorrow morning. Can you name a time and hold me to it? I want you to set an hour because I’m weak and might try to back out otherwise.” She added a slight forced laugh, which showed how uncertain her determination still was.
“Well, say after breakfast—at eleven o’clock.”
“Well, let’s say after breakfast—at eleven o’clock.”
“Yes, eleven o’clock. I promise you. Bind me strictly to my word.”
“Yes, eleven o’clock. I promise. Hold me to my word.”
Chapter XXVIII
“I lull a fancy, trouble-tost.”
“I soothe a fancy, troubled.”
Miss Swancourt, it is eleven o’clock.”
Miss Swancourt, it's 11 o'clock.
She was looking out of her dressing-room window on the first floor, and Knight was regarding her from the terrace balustrade, upon which he had been idly sitting for some time—dividing the glances of his eye between the pages of a book in his hand, the brilliant hues of the geraniums and calceolarias, and the open window above-mentioned.
She was gazing out of her dressing room window on the first floor, while Knight was watching her from the terrace railing, where he had been sitting for a while—alternating his gaze between the pages of a book he was holding, the bright colors of the geraniums and calceolarias, and the open window mentioned earlier.
“Yes, it is, I know. I am coming.”
“Yes, it is. I know. I'm on my way.”
He drew closer, and under the window.
He moved closer and stood under the window.
“How are you this morning, Elfride? You look no better for your long night’s rest.”
“How are you this morning, Elfride? You don’t look any better after your long night’s sleep.”
She appeared at the door shortly after, took his offered arm, and together they walked slowly down the gravel path leading to the river and away under the trees.
She showed up at the door a little later, took his arm that he offered, and together they strolled slowly down the gravel path that led to the river and away under the trees.
Her resolution, sustained during the last fifteen hours, had been to tell the whole truth, and now the moment had come.
Her determination, which lasted the last fifteen hours, was to tell the whole truth, and now the moment had arrived.
Step by step they advanced, and still she did not speak. They were nearly at the end of the walk, when Knight broke the silence.
Step by step they moved forward, and she still didn’t say anything. They were almost at the end of the walk when Knight broke the silence.
“Well, what is the confession, Elfride?”
"What's the confession, Elfride?"
She paused a moment, drew a long breath; and this is what she said:
She paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and this is what she said:
“I told you one day—or rather I gave you to understand—what was not true. I fancy you thought me to mean I was nineteen my next birthday, but it was my last I was nineteen.”
“I told you one day—or rather I hinted—something that wasn’t true. I bet you thought I meant I was turning nineteen on my next birthday, but I was actually nineteen on my last birthday.”
The moment had been too much for her. Now that the crisis had come, no qualms of conscience, no love of honesty, no yearning to make a confidence and obtain forgiveness with a kiss, could string Elfride up to the venture. Her dread lest he should be unforgiving was heightened by the thought of yesterday’s artifice, which might possibly add disgust to his disappointment. The certainty of one more day’s affection, which she gained by silence, outvalued the hope of a perpetuity combined with the risk of all.
The moment was overwhelming for her. Now that the crisis had arrived, no feelings of guilt, no commitment to honesty, and no desire to share a secret and seek forgiveness with a kiss could prepare Elfride for the risk. Her fear that he might not forgive her intensified when she thought about yesterday’s deception, which could potentially make his disappointment even worse. The assurance of one more day of love, which she earned by staying quiet, was worth more than the possibility of lasting happiness mixed with all that risk.
The trepidation caused by these thoughts on what she had intended to say shook so naturally the words she did say, that Knight never for a moment suspected them to be a last moment’s substitution. He smiled and pressed her hand warmly.
The anxiety brought on by her thoughts about what she meant to say disrupted her actual words so much that Knight never suspected they were a last-minute replacement. He smiled and held her hand warmly.
“My dear Elfie—yes, you are now—no protestation—what a winning little woman you are, to be so absurdly scrupulous about a mere iota! Really, I never once have thought whether your nineteenth year was the last or the present. And, by George, well I may not; for it would never do for a staid fogey a dozen years older to stand upon such a trifle as that.”
“My dear Elfie—yes, you are now—no arguments—what a delightful little woman you are, to be so ridiculously concerned about such a minor detail! Honestly, I’ve never once considered whether your nineteenth year was the last one or this one. And, honestly, I might not; because it would be ridiculous for a serious guy twelve years older to focus on such a trivial matter.”
“Don’t praise me—don’t praise me! Though I prize it from your lips, I don’t deserve it now.”
“Don’t compliment me—don’t compliment me! Even though I value it coming from you, I don’t deserve it right now.”
But Knight, being in an exceptionally genial mood, merely saw this distressful exclamation as modesty. “Well,” he added, after a minute, “I like you all the better, you know, for such moral precision, although I called it absurd.” He went on with tender earnestness: “For, Elfride, there is one thing I do love to see in a woman—that is, a soul truthful and clear as heaven’s light. I could put up with anything if I had that—forgive nothing if I had it not. Elfride, you have such a soul, if ever woman had; and having it, retain it, and don’t ever listen to the fashionable theories of the day about a woman’s privileges and natural right to practise wiles. Depend upon it, my dear girl, that a noble woman must be as honest as a noble man. I specially mean by honesty, fairness not only in matters of business and social detail, but in all the delicate dealings of love, to which the licence given to your sex particularly refers.”
But Knight, feeling really cheerful, interpreted this painful exclamation as just modesty. “Well,” he said after a moment, “I actually like you even more for such moral clarity, even though I called it absurd.” He continued with sincere warmth: “Because, Elfride, there’s one thing I truly love to see in a woman—that is, a soul that is as truthful and clear as the light of heaven. I could tolerate anything if I had that—but I’d forgive nothing if I didn’t have it. Elfride, you have that kind of soul, if any woman ever did; and having it, keep it, and don’t ever pay attention to the trendy ideas of today about a woman’s rights and her supposed need to be crafty. Trust me, my dear girl, a noble woman should be as honest as a noble man. By honesty, I mean fairness not just in business and social matters, but in all the sensitive interactions of love, which is especially relevant to your gender.”
Elfride looked troublously at the trees.
Elfride looked anxiously at the trees.
“Now let us go on to the river, Elfie.”
“Now let’s head to the river, Elfie.”
“I would if I had a hat on,” she said with a sort of suppressed woe.
“I would if I had a hat on,” she said with a hint of hidden sadness.
“I will get it for you,” said Knight, very willing to purchase her companionship at so cheap a price. “You sit down there a minute.” And he turned and walked rapidly back to the house for the article in question.
“I’ll get it for you,” said Knight, eager to buy her company at such a cheap price. “You sit down there for a minute.” And he turned and hurried back to the house to get the item in question.
Elfride sat down upon one of the rustic benches which adorned this portion of the grounds, and remained with her eyes upon the grass. She was induced to lift them by hearing the brush of light and irregular footsteps hard by. Passing along the path which intersected the one she was in and traversed the outer shrubberies, Elfride beheld the farmer’s widow, Mrs. Jethway. Before she noticed Elfride, she paused to look at the house, portions of which were visible through the bushes. Elfride, shrinking back, hoped the unpleasant woman might go on without seeing her. But Mrs. Jethway, silently apostrophizing the house, with actions which seemed dictated by a half-overturned reason, had discerned the girl, and immediately came up and stood in front of her.
Elfride sat down on one of the rustic benches that decorated this part of the grounds and kept her eyes on the grass. She was prompted to look up when she heard the sound of light and uneven footsteps nearby. As someone walked along the path that crossed hers and went through the outer shrubs, Elfride saw the farmer’s widow, Mrs. Jethway. Before noticing Elfride, she paused to gaze at the house, parts of which were visible through the bushes. Elfride, wanting to avoid her, hoped the unpleasant woman would continue on without seeing her. But Mrs. Jethway, silently addressing the house with movements that suggested a troubled mind, had spotted the girl and immediately approached her, standing right in front of her.
“Ah, Miss Swancourt! Why did you disturb me? Mustn’t I trespass here?”
“Ah, Miss Swancourt! Why did you interrupt me? Am I not allowed to be here?”
“You may walk here if you like, Mrs. Jethway. I do not disturb you.”
“You can walk here if you want, Mrs. Jethway. I won’t bother you.”
“You disturb my mind, and my mind is my whole life; for my boy is there still, and he is gone from my body.”
“You're troubling my thoughts, and my thoughts are my entire life; because my son is still there, even though he's no longer with me physically.”
“Yes, poor young man. I was sorry when he died.”
“Yes, poor young man. I felt sad when he died.”
“Do you know what he died of?”
“Do you know what he died from?”
“Consumption.”
"Consumption."
“Oh no, no!” said the widow. “That word ‘consumption’ covers a good deal. He died because you were his own well-agreed sweetheart, and then proved false—and it killed him. Yes, Miss Swancourt,” she said in an excited whisper, “you killed my son!”
“Oh no, no!” said the widow. “That word ‘consumption’ means a lot. He died because you were his sweetheart, and then you betrayed him—and it broke his heart. Yes, Miss Swancourt,” she said in an excited whisper, “you killed my son!”
“How can you be so wicked and foolish!” replied Elfride, rising indignantly. But indignation was not natural to her, and having been so worn and harrowed by late events, she lost any powers of defence that mood might have lent her. “I could not help his loving me, Mrs. Jethway!”
“How can you be so cruel and stupid!” Elfride replied, standing up in anger. But anger didn’t come naturally to her, and after everything she had been through lately, she lost any ability to defend herself that her emotions might have provided. “I couldn’t stop him from loving me, Mrs. Jethway!”
“That’s just what you could have helped. You know how it began, Miss Elfride. Yes: you said you liked the name of Felix better than any other name in the parish, and you knew it was his name, and that those you said it to would report it to him.”
“That’s exactly what you could have prevented. You know how it started, Miss Elfride. Yes: you said you liked the name Felix more than any other name in the parish, and you knew it was his name, and that the people you told would pass it on to him.”
“I knew it was his name—of course I did; but I am sure, Mrs. Jethway, I did not intend anybody to tell him.”
“I knew it was his name—of course I did; but I’m sure, Mrs. Jethway, I didn’t intend for anyone to tell him.”
“But you knew they would.”
“But you knew they would.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Nope, I didn’t.”
“And then, after that, when you were riding on Revels-day by our house, and the lads were gathered there, and you wanted to dismount, when Jim Drake and George Upway and three or four more ran forward to hold your pony, and Felix stood back timid, why did you beckon to him, and say you would rather he held it?”
“And then, after that, when you were riding by our house on Revels-day, and the guys were gathered around, and you wanted to get off, when Jim Drake and George Upway and a few others ran forward to hold your pony, and Felix stood back nervously, why did you wave him over and say you would prefer he held it?”
“O Mrs. Jethway, you do think so mistakenly! I liked him best—that’s why I wanted him to do it. He was gentle and nice—I always thought him so—and I liked him.”
“O Mrs. Jethway, you’re so wrong! I liked him the most—that’s why I wanted him to do it. He was kind and sweet—I always thought so—and I liked him.”
“Then why did you let him kiss you?”
“Then why did you let him kiss you?”
“It is a falsehood; oh, it is, it is!” said Elfride, weeping with desperation. “He came behind me, and attempted to kiss me; and that was why I told him never to let me see him again.”
“It’s a lie; oh, it is, it is!” Elfride said, crying in despair. “He came up behind me and tried to kiss me, and that’s why I told him to never let me see him again.”
“But you did not tell your father or anybody, as you would have if you had looked upon it then as the insult you now pretend it was.”
“But you didn’t tell your father or anyone, as you would have if you had seen it then as the insult you now claim it was.”
“He begged me not to tell, and foolishly enough I did not. And I wish I had now. I little expected to be scourged with my own kindness. Pray leave me, Mrs. Jethway.” The girl only expostulated now.
“He begged me not to tell, and foolishly enough I didn’t. And I really wish I had now. I never expected to be punished for my own kindness. Please leave me, Mrs. Jethway.” The girl only protested now.
“Well, you harshly dismissed him, and he died. And before his body was cold, you took another to your heart. Then as carelessly sent him about his business, and took a third. And if you consider that nothing, Miss Swancourt,” she continued, drawing closer; “it led on to what was very serious indeed. Have you forgotten the would-be runaway marriage? The journey to London, and the return the next day without being married, and that there’s enough disgrace in that to ruin a woman’s good name far less light than yours? You may have: I have not. Fickleness towards a lover is bad, but fickleness after playing the wife is wantonness.”
“Well, you dismissed him harshly, and he died. And before his body was even cold, you took another into your heart. Then you carelessly sent him on his way and took a third. And if that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, Miss Swancourt,” she continued, leaning in closer, “it led to something very serious. Have you forgotten about the attempt to run away and get married? The trip to London, and the return the next day without getting married? There’s enough shame in that to ruin a woman’s reputation, especially one not as light as yours. You might have forgotten, but I haven’t. Being fickle with a lover is bad enough, but being fickle after pretending to be a wife is just reckless.”
“Oh, it’s a wicked cruel lie! Do not say it; oh, do not!”
“Oh, it’s a wicked, cruel lie! Please don’t say it; oh, please don’t!”
“Does your new man know of it? I think not, or he would be no man of yours! As much of the story as was known is creeping about the neighbourhood even now; but I know more than any of them, and why should I respect your love?”
“Does your new guy know about it? I don’t think so, or he wouldn’t be your guy! The details of the story are still making the rounds in the neighborhood; but I know more than any of them, and why should I respect your love?”
“I defy you!” cried Elfride tempestuously. “Do and say all you can to ruin me; try; put your tongue at work; I invite it! I defy you as a slanderous woman! Look, there he comes.” And her voice trembled greatly as she saw through the leaves the beloved form of Knight coming from the door with her hat in his hand. “Tell him at once; I can bear it.”
“I challenge you!” Elfride shouted passionately. “Do whatever you want to destroy me; go ahead, speak your mind; I dare you! I defy you as a malicious woman! Look, here he comes.” Her voice quivered as she spotted Knight approaching from the door, holding her hat in his hand. “Tell him right away; I can handle it.”
“Not now,” said the woman, and disappeared down the path.
“Not right now,” said the woman, and disappeared down the path.
The excitement of her latter words had restored colour to Elfride’s cheeks; and hastily wiping her eyes, she walked farther on, so that by the time her lover had overtaken her the traces of emotion had nearly disappeared from her face. Knight put the hat upon her head, took her hand, and drew it within his arm.
The excitement of her last words had brought color back to Elfride’s cheeks; and quickly wiping her eyes, she walked on a bit further, so that by the time her boyfriend caught up with her, the signs of her emotions had mostly faded from her face. Knight placed the hat on her head, took her hand, and tucked it into his arm.
It was the last day but one previous to their departure for St. Leonards; and Knight seemed to have a purpose in being much in her company that day. They rambled along the valley. The season was that period in the autumn when the foliage alone of an ordinary plantation is rich enough in hues to exhaust the chromatic combinations of an artist’s palette. Most lustrous of all are the beeches, graduating from bright rusty red at the extremity of the boughs to a bright yellow at their inner parts; young oaks are still of a neutral green; Scotch firs and hollies are nearly blue; whilst occasional dottings of other varieties give maroons and purples of every tinge.
It was the day before their departure for St. Leonards, and Knight seemed to have a reason to spend a lot of time with her that day. They wandered through the valley. It was that time in autumn when the leaves of an ordinary forest are colorful enough to fill an artist's palette. The beeches were the most vibrant, shifting from a bright rusty red at the tips of the branches to a bright yellow closer to the trunk; young oaks still showed a neutral green; Scotch firs and hollies appeared almost blue; while occasional splashes of other types added maroons and purples of every shade.
The river—such as it was—here pursued its course amid flagstones as level as a pavement, but divided by crevices of irregular width. With the summer drought the torrent had narrowed till it was now but a thread of crystal clearness, meandering along a central channel in the rocky bed of the winter current. Knight scrambled through the bushes which at this point nearly covered the brook from sight, and leapt down upon the dry portion of the river bottom.
The river—whatever it was—followed its path between flat stones that were as even as pavement, but separated by gaps of uneven widths. Because of the summer drought, the stream had shrunk to just a thin line of clear water, winding its way along a central channel in the rocky bed that used to hold a rushing current in winter. Knight pushed through the bushes that nearly hid the brook from view at this spot and jumped down onto the dry part of the riverbed.
“Elfride, I never saw such a sight!” he exclaimed. “The hazels overhang the river’s course in a perfect arch, and the floor is beautifully paved. The place reminds one of the passages of a cloister. Let me help you down.”
“Elfride, I’ve never seen anything like it!” he exclaimed. “The hazels create a perfect arch over the river, and the ground is beautifully paved. The place feels like the hallways of a cloister. Let me help you down.”
He assisted her through the marginal underwood and down to the stones. They walked on together to a tiny cascade about a foot wide and high, and sat down beside it on the flags that for nine months in the year were submerged beneath a gushing bourne. From their feet trickled the attenuated thread of water which alone remained to tell the intent and reason of this leaf-covered aisle, and journeyed on in a zigzag line till lost in the shade.
He helped her through the dense underbrush and down to the rocks. They walked together to a small waterfall, about a foot wide and high, and sat down next to it on the stones that were submerged for nine months of the year beneath a rushing stream. From their feet, a thin trickle of water flowed, the only reminder of the purpose of this leaf-covered path, winding in a zigzag until it disappeared into the shadows.
Knight, leaning on his elbow, after contemplating all this, looked critically at Elfride.
Knight, propping himself up on his elbow, after thinking about all this, looked at Elfride with a critical eye.
“Does not such a luxuriant head of hair exhaust itself and get thin as the years go on from eighteen to eight-and-twenty?” he asked at length.
“Doesn’t such a thick head of hair wear out and thin out as the years go by from eighteen to twenty-eight?” he finally asked.
“Oh no!” she said quickly, with a visible disinclination to harbour such a thought, which came upon her with an unpleasantness whose force it would be difficult for men to understand. She added afterwards, with smouldering uneasiness, “Do you really think that a great abundance of hair is more likely to get thin than a moderate quantity?”
“Oh no!” she said quickly, clearly reluctant to entertain such a thought, which struck her with an unpleasantness that would be hard for men to grasp. She later added, with a hint of lingering unease, “Do you really think that having a lot of hair is more likely to get thin than having a moderate amount?”
“Yes, I really do. I believe—am almost sure, in fact—that if statistics could be obtained on the subject, you would find the persons with thin hair were those who had a superabundance originally, and that those who start with a moderate quantity retain it without much loss.”
“Yes, I really do. I believe—I'm almost sure, in fact—that if we could get statistics on this, you would find that people with thin hair originally had a lot of hair, and those who start with a moderate amount keep it with little loss.”
Elfride’s troubles sat upon her face as well as in her heart. Perhaps to a woman it is almost as dreadful to think of losing her beauty as of losing her reputation. At any rate, she looked quite as gloomy as she had looked at any minute that day.
Elfride’s worries showed on her face just as much as in her heart. For a woman, thinking about losing her beauty can be just as terrifying as losing her reputation. Regardless, she appeared just as downcast as she had at any moment that day.
“You shouldn’t be so troubled about a mere personal adornment,” said Knight, with some of the severity of tone that had been customary before she had beguiled him into softness.
“You shouldn’t be so worried about just a personal accessory,” said Knight, with a bit of the stern tone he used to have before she had charmed him into being softer.
“I think it is a woman’s duty to be as beautiful as she can. If I were a scholar, I would give you chapter and verse for it from one of your own Latin authors. I know there is such a passage, for papa has alluded to it.”
“I believe it's a woman's responsibility to be as beautiful as she can be. If I were a scholar, I'd provide you with chapter and verse from one of your own Latin authors to back it up. I know there's a passage like that because dad has mentioned it.”
‘“Munditiae, et ornatus, et cultus,’ &c.—is that it? A passage in Livy which is no defence at all.”
‘“Munditiae, et ornatus, et cultus,’ &c.—is that it? A quote from Livy which doesn’t defend anything at all.”
“No, it is not that.”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Never mind, then; for I have a reason for not taking up my old cudgels against you, Elfie. Can you guess what the reason is?”
“Forget it, then; I have a reason for not fighting with you, Elfie. Can you guess what that reason is?”
“No; but I am glad to hear it,” she said thankfully. “For it is dreadful when you talk so. For whatever dreadful name the weakness may deserve, I must candidly own that I am terrified to think my hair may ever get thin.”
“No; but I'm glad to hear that,” she said with gratitude. “It’s awful when you talk like that. Whatever horrible name that weakness might deserve, I have to honestly admit that I’m scared to think my hair might ever thin out.”
“Of course; a sensible woman would rather lose her wits than her beauty.”
“Of course; a sensible woman would rather lose her mind than her beauty.”
“I don’t care if you do say satire and judge me cruelly. I know my hair is beautiful; everybody says so.”
“I don’t care if you call it satire and judge me harshly. I know my hair is beautiful; everyone says so.”
“Why, my dear Miss Swancourt,” he tenderly replied, “I have not said anything against it. But you know what is said about handsome being and handsome doing.”
“Why, my dear Miss Swancourt,” he replied gently, “I haven’t said anything negative about it. But you know what they say about good looks and good actions.”
“Poor Miss Handsome-does cuts but a sorry figure beside Miss Handsome-is in every man’s eyes, your own not excepted, Mr. Knight, though it pleases you to throw off so,” said Elfride saucily. And lowering her voice: “You ought not to have taken so much trouble to save me from falling over the cliff, for you don’t think mine a life worth much trouble evidently.”
“Poor Miss Handsome-does looks pretty pathetic next to Miss Handsome-is in every guy's eyes, including yours, Mr. Knight, even if you pretend otherwise,” Elfride said cheekily. Lowering her voice, she added, “You really shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble to save me from falling off the cliff, since you clearly don’t think my life is worth that much effort.”
“Perhaps you think mine was not worth yours.”
“Maybe you think what I had wasn't worth what you have.”
“It was worth anybody’s!”
"It was worth it for anyone!"
Her hand was plashing in the little waterfall, and her eyes were bent the same way.
Her hand was splashing in the small waterfall, and her eyes were focused in the same direction.
“You talk about my severity with you, Elfride. You are unkind to me, you know.”
“You mention how hard I am on you, Elfride. You’re being unfair to me, you know.”
“How?” she asked, looking up from her idle occupation.
“How?” she asked, glancing up from what she was doing.
“After my taking trouble to get jewellery to please you, you wouldn’t accept it.”
“After I went through the trouble of getting jewelry to make you happy, you wouldn’t accept it.”
“Perhaps I would now; perhaps I want to.”
“Maybe I would now; maybe I want to.”
“Do!” said Knight.
“Do it!” said Knight.
And the packet was withdrawn from his pocket and presented the third time. Elfride took it with delight. The obstacle was rent in twain, and the significant gift was hers.
And the packet was taken out of his pocket and handed over for the third time. Elfride accepted it with joy. The barrier was broken, and the meaningful gift was finally hers.
“I’ll take out these ugly ones at once,” she exclaimed, “and I’ll wear yours—shall I?”
“I’ll get rid of these ugly ones right now,” she exclaimed, “and I’ll wear yours—okay?”
“I should be gratified.”
"I should feel grateful."
Now, though it may seem unlikely, considering how far the two had gone in converse, Knight had never yet ventured to kiss Elfride. Far slower was he than Stephen Smith in matters like that. The utmost advance he had made in such demonstrations had been to the degree witnessed by Stephen in the summer-house. So Elfride’s cheek being still forbidden fruit to him, he said impulsively.
Now, even though it might seem strange given how much they had talked, Knight had never actually dared to kiss Elfride. He was much slower than Stephen Smith when it came to things like that. The furthest he had gone in those kinds of gestures was what Stephen had seen in the summer-house. So, with Elfride's cheek still off-limits to him, he said impulsively.
“Elfie, I should like to touch that seductive ear of yours. Those are my gifts; so let me dress you in them.”
“Elfie, I’d really like to touch that tempting ear of yours. Those are my gifts; so let me put them on you.”
She hesitated with a stimulating hesitation.
She paused with an exciting uncertainty.
“Let me put just one in its place, then?”
“Can I just put one in its place, then?”
Her face grew much warmer.
Her face got much warmer.
“I don’t think it would be quite the usual or proper course,” she said, suddenly turning and resuming her operation of plashing in the miniature cataract.
“I don’t think that’s the usual or appropriate thing to do,” she said, suddenly turning and going back to splashing in the small waterfall.
The stillness of things was disturbed by a bird coming to the streamlet to drink. After watching him dip his bill, sprinkle himself, and fly into a tree, Knight replied, with the courteous brusqueness she so much liked to hear—
The quiet was broken by a bird landing at the stream to drink. After observing him dip his beak, splash a bit, and then fly up into a tree, Knight responded with the polite directness that she always appreciated—
“Elfride, now you may as well be fair. You would mind my doing it but little, I think; so give me leave, do.”
“Elfride, you might as well be honest. I think you wouldn't mind me doing it too much, so please let me.”
“I will be fair, then,” she said confidingly, and looking him full in the face. It was a particular pleasure to her to be able to do a little honesty without fear. “I should not mind your doing so—I should like such an attention. My thought was, would it be right to let you?”
“I’ll be honest, then,” she said with trust, looking him directly in the eye. It was especially enjoyable for her to express a bit of honesty without fear. “I wouldn’t mind you doing that—I would appreciate such a gesture. My concern was, would it be right to allow you to?”
“Then I will!” he rejoined, with that singular earnestness about a small matter—in the eyes of a ladies’ man but a momentary peg for flirtation or jest—which is only found in deep natures who have been wholly unused to toying with womankind, and which, from its unwontedness, is in itself a tribute the most precious that can be rendered, and homage the most exquisite to be received.
“Then I will!” he replied, with that unique seriousness about something trivial—in the eyes of a ladies’ man just a temporary opportunity for flirting or joking—which is only seen in deep individuals who have never really engaged with women, and which, because it’s so rare, is the most valuable tribute that can be given, and the most exquisite praise to receive.
“And you shall,” she whispered, without reserve, and no longer mistress of the ceremonies. And then Elfride inclined herself towards him, thrust back her hair, and poised her head sideways. In doing this her arm and shoulder necessarily rested against his breast.
“And you will,” she whispered, without hesitation, no longer in control of the situation. Then Elfride leaned toward him, pushed her hair back, and tilted her head to the side. In doing this, her arm and shoulder inevitably rested against his chest.
At the touch, the sensation of both seemed to be concentrated at the point of contact. All the time he was performing the delicate manoeuvre Knight trembled like a young surgeon in his first operation.
At the touch, the feeling from both seemed to be focused at the point of contact. While he was making the delicate move, Knight shook like a young surgeon on his first surgery.
“Now the other,” said Knight in a whisper.
“Now the other,” Knight said softly.
“No, no.”
"No way."
“Why not?”
"Why not?"
“I don’t know exactly.”
“I'm not sure.”
“You must know.”
"You need to know."
“Your touch agitates me so. Let us go home.”
“Your touch makes me feel so restless. Let’s go home.”
“Don’t say that, Elfride. What is it, after all? A mere nothing. Now turn round, dearest.”
“Don’t say that, Elfride. What is it, really? Just a little nothing. Now turn around, my dear.”
She was powerless to disobey, and turned forthwith; and then, without any defined intention in either’s mind, his face and hers drew closer together; and he supported her there, and kissed her.
She couldn't resist and turned immediately; then, without any clear intention from either of them, their faces moved closer together, and he held her there and kissed her.
Knight was at once the most ardent and the coolest man alive. When his emotions slumbered he appeared almost phlegmatic; when they were moved he was no less than passionate. And now, without having quite intended an early marriage, he put the question plainly. It came with all the ardour which was the accumulation of long years behind a natural reserve.
Knight was both the most enthusiastic and the calmest guy around. When his feelings were dormant, he seemed almost indifferent; when they were stirred, he was nothing short of passionate. And now, even though he hadn't exactly planned for an early marriage, he asked the question outright. It came with all the intensity that had built up over many years behind a natural restraint.
“Elfride, when shall we be married?”
“Elfride, when are we getting married?”
The words were sweet to her; but there was a bitter in the sweet. These newly-overt acts of his, which had culminated in this plain question, coming on the very day of Mrs. Jethway’s blasting reproaches, painted distinctly her fickleness as an enormity. Loving him in secret had not seemed such thorough-going inconstancy as the same love recognized and acted upon in the face of threats. Her distraction was interpreted by him at her side as the outward signs of an unwonted experience.
The words were sweet to her, but there was a bitterness in the sweetness. His recent open actions, which had led to this straightforward question, coming on the very day of Mrs. Jethway’s harsh criticisms, clearly highlighted her inconsistency as something significant. Loving him in secret hadn't felt like such a complete betrayal as openly expressing that love while facing threats. He interpreted her distraction as visible signs of an unusual experience.
“I don’t press you for an answer now, darling,” he said, seeing she was not likely to give a lucid reply. “Take your time.”
“I won’t rush you for an answer right now, darling,” he said, noticing she probably wouldn’t give a clear response. “Take your time.”
Knight was as honourable a man as was ever loved and deluded by woman. It may be said that his blindness in love proved the point, for shrewdness in love usually goes with meanness in general. Once the passion had mastered him, the intellect had gone for naught. Knight, as a lover, was more single-minded and far simpler than his friend Stephen, who in other capacities was shallow beside him.
Knight was as honorable a man as anyone ever loved and fooled by a woman. It could be said that his blindness in love proved the point because being clever in love often goes hand in hand with being mean in general. Once passion took over, his intellect was useless. As a lover, Knight was more focused and much simpler than his friend Stephen, who, in other ways, was shallow compared to him.
Without saying more on the subject of their marriage, Knight held her at arm’s length, as if she had been a large bouquet, and looked at her with critical affection.
Without saying anything more about their marriage, Knight held her at arm’s length, like she was a large bouquet, and looked at her with a mix of care and scrutiny.
“Does your pretty gift become me?” she inquired, with tears of excitement on the fringes of her eyes.
“Does your beautiful gift suit me?” she asked, with tears of excitement at the corners of her eyes.
“Undoubtedly, perfectly!” said her lover, adopting a lighter tone to put her at her ease. “Ah, you should see them; you look shinier than ever. Fancy that I have been able to improve you!”
“Absolutely, definitely!” said her partner, using a lighter tone to make her feel comfortable. “Oh, you should see them; you look brighter than ever. Can you believe I’ve managed to make you better?”
“Am I really so nice? I am glad for your sake. I wish I could see myself.”
“Am I really that nice? I'm happy for you. I wish I could see myself.”
“You can’t. You must wait till we get home.”
“You can’t. You have to wait until we get home.”
“I shall never be able,” she said, laughing. “Look: here’s a way.”
“I’ll never be able to,” she said, laughing. “Look: here’s a way.”
“So there is. Well done, woman’s wit!”
“So there it is. Nice job, woman’s intuition!”
“Hold me steady!”
“Keep me steady!”
“Oh yes.”
"Yeah, definitely."
“And don’t let me fall, will you?”
“And don’t let me fall, okay?”
“By no means.”
“Not at all.”
Below their seat the thread of water paused to spread out into a smooth small pool. Knight supported her whilst she knelt down and leant over it.
Below their seat, the stream of water stopped to form a smooth little pool. Knight supported her as she knelt down and leaned over it.
“I can see myself. Really, try as religiously as I will, I cannot help admiring my appearance in them.”
“I can see myself. Honestly, no matter how hard I try, I can't help but admire how I look in them.”
“Doubtless. How can you be so fond of finery? I believe you are corrupting me into a taste for it. I used to hate every such thing before I knew you.”
“Definitely. How can you be so into fancy things? I think you’re getting me hooked on them. I used to hate all that stuff before I met you.”
“I like ornaments, because I want people to admire what you possess, and envy you, and say, ‘I wish I was he.’”
“I like decorations because I want people to admire what you have, envy you, and say, ‘I wish I were him.’”
“I suppose I ought not to object after that. And how much longer are you going to look in there at yourself?”
“I guess I shouldn't complain after that. And how much longer are you planning to stare at yourself in there?”
“Until you are tired of holding me? Oh, I want to ask you something.” And she turned round. “Now tell truly, won’t you? What colour of hair do you like best now?”
“Until you’re tired of holding me? Oh, I want to ask you something.” And she turned around. “Now tell me the truth, okay? What hair color do you like best now?”
Knight did not answer at the moment.
The knight didn’t reply immediately.
“Say light, do!” she whispered coaxingly. “Don’t say dark, as you did that time.”
“Come on, light, do!” she whispered encouragingly. “Don’t say dark, like you did that time.”
“Light-brown, then. Exactly the colour of my sweetheart’s.”
“Light brown, then. Exactly the color of my sweetheart’s.”
“Really?” said Elfride, enjoying as truth what she knew to be flattery.
“Really?” Elfride replied, relishing the compliment she recognized as flattery.
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“And blue eyes, too, not hazel? Say yes, say yes!”
“And blue eyes, not hazel? Just say yes, please!”
“One recantation is enough for to-day.”
“One recantation is enough for today.”
“No, no.”
“No way.”
“Very well, blue eyes.” And Knight laughed, and drew her close and kissed her the second time, which operations he performed with the carefulness of a fruiterer touching a bunch of grapes so as not to disturb their bloom.
“Alright, blue eyes.” And Knight laughed, pulled her closer, and kissed her a second time, doing it with the same care a fruit vendor takes when handling a bunch of grapes so as not to disturb their freshness.
Elfride objected to a second, and flung away her face, the movement causing a slight disarrangement of hat and hair. Hardly thinking what she said in the trepidation of the moment, she exclaimed, clapping her hand to her ear—
Elfride protested a second time and turned away from him, causing her hat and hair to get slightly messed up. Barely aware of what she was saying in her nervousness, she exclaimed, pressing her hand to her ear—
“Ah, we must be careful! I lost the other earring doing like this.”
“Hey, we need to be careful! I lost the other earring doing that.”
No sooner did she realise the significant words than a troubled look passed across her face, and she shut her lips as if to keep them back.
No sooner did she realize the important words than a worried expression crossed her face, and she closed her lips as if to hold them back.
“Doing like what?” said Knight, perplexed.
"Doing what exactly?" Knight asked, confused.
“Oh, sitting down out of doors,” she replied hastily.
“Oh, sitting outside,” she responded quickly.
Chapter XXIX
“Care, thou canker.”
"Watch out, you troublemaker."
It is an evening at the beginning of October, and the mellowest of autumn sunsets irradiates London, even to its uttermost eastern end. Between the eye and the flaming West, columns of smoke stand up in the still air like tall trees. Everything in the shade is rich and misty blue.
It’s the beginning of October, and the softest autumn sunset lights up London, reaching even its farthest eastern edge. Between the viewer and the bright West, columns of smoke rise in the calm air like tall trees. Everything in the shade is a deep, blurry blue.
Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt and Elfride are looking at these lustrous and lurid contrasts from the window of a large hotel near London Bridge. The visit to their friends at St. Leonards is over, and they are staying a day or two in the metropolis on their way home.
Mr. and Mrs. Swancourt and Elfride are admiring the bright and vivid contrasts from the window of a large hotel near London Bridge. Their visit to friends in St. Leonards has ended, and they are spending a day or two in the city on their way home.
Knight spent the same interval of time in crossing over to Brittany by way of Jersey and St. Malo. He then passed through Normandy, and returned to London also, his arrival there having been two days later than that of Elfride and her parents.
Knight took the same amount of time to cross over to Brittany via Jersey and St. Malo. He then traveled through Normandy and returned to London as well, arriving two days later than Elfride and her parents.
So the evening of this October day saw them all meeting at the above-mentioned hotel, where they had previously engaged apartments. During the afternoon Knight had been to his lodgings at Richmond to make a little change in the nature of his baggage; and on coming up again there was never ushered by a bland waiter into a comfortable room a happier man than Knight when shown to where Elfride and her step-mother were sitting after a fatiguing day of shopping.
So that evening in October, everyone gathered at the hotel mentioned earlier, where they had booked rooms. Earlier in the day, Knight had gone to his place in Richmond to switch up his luggage a bit; and when he returned, no one looked happier than Knight when a friendly waiter led him to the room where Elfride and her stepmother were relaxing after a tiring day of shopping.
Elfride looked none the better for her change: Knight was as brown as a nut. They were soon engaged by themselves in a corner of the room. Now that the precious words of promise had been spoken, the young girl had no idea of keeping up her price by the system of reserve which other more accomplished maidens use. Her lover was with her again, and it was enough: she made her heart over to him entirely.
Elfride looked no better for her change: Knight was as brown as a nut. They soon found themselves alone in a corner of the room. Now that the important words of promise had been spoken, the young girl had no intention of playing hard to get like other more experienced women do. Her lover was with her again, and that was all that mattered: she gave her heart completely to him.
Dinner was soon despatched. And when a preliminary round of conversation concerning their doings since the last parting had been concluded, they reverted to the subject of to-morrow’s journey home.
Dinner was quickly finished. And after a brief conversation about what they had been up to since they last met, they went back to discussing tomorrow’s journey home.
“That enervating ride through the myrtle climate of South Devon—how I dread it to-morrow!” Mrs. Swancourt was saying. “I had hoped the weather would have been cooler by this time.”
“That exhausting ride through the myrtle climate of South Devon—how I dread it tomorrow!” Mrs. Swancourt was saying. “I had hoped the weather would be cooler by now.”
“Did you ever go by water?” said Knight.
“Have you ever traveled by water?” Knight asked.
“Never—by never, I mean not since the time of railways.”
“Never—by never, I mean not since the time of trains.”
“Then if you can afford an additional day, I propose that we do it,” said Knight. “The Channel is like a lake just now. We should reach Plymouth in about forty hours, I think, and the boats start from just below the bridge here” (pointing over his shoulder eastward).
“Then if you can spare an extra day, I suggest we go for it,” said Knight. “The Channel is calm right now. I think we should get to Plymouth in about forty hours, and the boats leave from just below the bridge here” (pointing over his shoulder eastward).
“Hear, hear!” said the vicar.
"Listen up!" said the vicar.
“It’s an idea, certainly,” said his wife.
“It’s definitely an idea,” said his wife.
“Of course these coasters are rather tubby,” said Knight. “But you wouldn’t mind that?”
“Of course these coasters are a bit chunky,” said Knight. “But you wouldn’t mind that?”
“No: we wouldn’t mind.”
"No, we wouldn't mind."
“And the saloon is a place like the fishmarket of a ninth-rate country town, but that wouldn’t matter?”
“And the bar is just like the fish market in a small-town that barely rates, but does that even matter?”
“Oh dear, no. If we had only thought of it soon enough, we might have had the use of Lord Luxellian’s yacht. But never mind, we’ll go. We shall escape the worrying rattle through the whole length of London to-morrow morning—not to mention the risk of being killed by excursion trains, which is not a little one at this time of the year, if the papers are true.”
“Oh no, if we had only thought of it sooner, we could have used Lord Luxellian’s yacht. But never mind, we’ll go. We’ll avoid the stressful journey through all of London tomorrow morning—not to mention the risk of getting hit by excursion trains, which is pretty significant this time of year, if the news is to be believed.”
Elfride, too, thought the arrangement delightful; and accordingly, ten o’clock the following morning saw two cabs crawling round by the Mint, and between the preternaturally high walls of Nightingale Lane towards the river side.
Elfride also found the arrangement delightful; so, at ten o’clock the next morning, two cabs were making their way around by the Mint, moving slowly between the exceptionally high walls of Nightingale Lane toward the riverside.
The first vehicle was occupied by the travellers in person, and the second brought up the luggage, under the supervision of Mrs. Snewson, Mrs. Swancourt’s maid—and for the last fortnight Elfride’s also; for although the younger lady had never been accustomed to any such attendant at robing times, her stepmother forced her into a semblance of familiarity with one when they were away from home.
The first vehicle was occupied by the travelers themselves, and the second brought the luggage, supervised by Mrs. Snewson, Mrs. Swancourt’s maid—and for the last two weeks, Elfride’s as well; even though the younger woman had never had someone assist her getting dressed, her stepmother made her pretend to be comfortable with one when they were away from home.
Presently waggons, bales, and smells of all descriptions increased to such an extent that the advance of the cabs was at the slowest possible rate. At intervals it was necessary to halt entirely, that the heavy vehicles unloading in front might be moved aside, a feat which was not accomplished without a deal of swearing and noise. The vicar put his head out of the window.
Right now, wagons, bales, and all kinds of smells piled up so much that the cabs were moving at a crawl. Every so often, they had to stop completely so the heavy vehicles unloading in front could be moved out of the way, which was done with a lot of swearing and noise. The vicar stuck his head out of the window.
“Surely there must be some mistake in the way,” he said with great concern, drawing in his head again. “There’s not a respectable conveyance to be seen here except ours. I’ve heard that there are strange dens in this part of London, into which people have been entrapped and murdered—surely there is no conspiracy on the part of the cabman?”
“Surely there must be some mistake,” he said anxiously, retreating his head again. “There’s no decent ride to be found here except ours. I’ve heard there are shady places in this part of London where people have been trapped and killed—surely the cabbie isn’t involved in any conspiracy?”
“Oh no, no. It is all right,” said Mr. Knight, who was as placid as dewy eve by the side of Elfride.
“Oh no, no. It’s fine,” said Mr. Knight, who was as calm as a dewy evening next to Elfride.
“But what I argue from,” said the vicar, with a greater emphasis of uneasiness, “are plain appearances. This can’t be the highway from London to Plymouth by water, because it is no way at all to any place. We shall miss our steamer and our train too—that’s what I think.”
“But what I’m basing my argument on,” said the vicar, with greater unease, “are clear signs. This can’t be the route from London to Plymouth by water, because it doesn’t lead anywhere. I think we’re going to miss both our steamer and our train.”
“Depend upon it we are right. In fact, here we are.”
“Count on it, we’re correct. Actually, here we are.”
“Trimmer’s Wharf,” said the cabman, opening the door.
“Trimmer’s Wharf,” the cab driver said, pulling open the door.
No sooner had they alighted than they perceived a tussle going on between the hindmost cabman and a crowd of light porters who had charged him in column, to obtain possession of the bags and boxes, Mrs. Snewson’s hands being seen stretched towards heaven in the midst of the melee. Knight advanced gallantly, and after a hard struggle reduced the crowd to two, upon whose shoulders and trucks the goods vanished away in the direction of the water’s edge with startling rapidity.
No sooner had they gotten out of the cab than they noticed a scuffle happening between the last cab driver and a group of light porters who had rushed him to grab the bags and boxes. They could see Mrs. Snewson’s hands raised to the sky in the middle of the chaos. Knight stepped in bravely, and after a tough struggle, he managed to reduce the crowd to two people, whose shoulders and carts quickly disappeared towards the water's edge with surprising speed.
Then more of the same tribe, who had run on ahead, were heard shouting to boatmen, three of whom pulled alongside, and two being vanquished, the luggage went tumbling into the remaining one.
Then more from the same group, who had rushed ahead, were heard calling out to the boatmen. Three of them pulled up alongside, and since two were outmatched, the luggage ended up spilling into the last one.
“Never saw such a dreadful scene in my life—never!” said Mr. Swancourt, floundering into the boat. “Worse than Famine and Sword upon one. I thought such customs were confined to continental ports. Aren’t you astonished, Elfride?”
“Never saw such a terrible scene in my life—never!” said Mr. Swancourt, stumbling into the boat. “Worse than Hunger and War combined. I thought such things only happened at ports on the continent. Aren’t you shocked, Elfride?”
“Oh no,” said Elfride, appearing amid the dingy scene like a rainbow in a murky sky. “It is a pleasant novelty, I think.”
“Oh no,” said Elfride, appearing in the gloomy scene like a rainbow in a cloudy sky. “I think it’s a nice change.”
“Where in the wide ocean is our steamer?” the vicar inquired. “I can see nothing but old hulks, for the life of me.”
“Where in the vast ocean is our steamship?” the vicar asked. “I can’t see anything but old wrecks, for the life of me.”
“Just behind that one,” said Knight; “we shall soon be round under her.”
“Just behind that one,” said Knight; “we’ll be right around under her soon.”
The object of their search was soon after disclosed to view—a great lumbering form of inky blackness, which looked as if it had never known the touch of a paint-brush for fifty years. It was lying beside just such another, and the way on board was down a narrow lane of water between the two, about a yard and a half wide at one end, and gradually converging to a point. At the moment of their entry into this narrow passage, a brilliantly painted rival paddled down the river like a trotting steed, creating such a series of waves and splashes that their frail wherry was tossed like a teacup, and the vicar and his wife slanted this way and that, inclining their heads into contact with a Punch-and-Judy air and countenance, the wavelets striking the sides of the two hulls, and flapping back into their laps.
The object of their search was soon revealed—an enormous, lumbering shape of deep black, which looked like it hadn't been touched by a paintbrush in fifty years. It was lying next to another similar shape, and the way on board was down a narrow strip of water between the two, about a yard and a half wide at one end, gradually narrowing to a point. Just as they entered this tight passage, a brightly painted rival glided down the river like a trotting horse, creating such a series of waves and splashes that their fragile boat was tossed around like a teacup, causing the vicar and his wife to sway this way and that, with their heads leaning together in a comical fashion, while the little waves hit the sides of the two hulls and splashed back into their laps.
“Dreadful! horrible!” Mr. Swancourt murmured privately; and said aloud, I thought we walked on board. I don’t think really I should have come, if I had known this trouble was attached to it.”
“Terrible! awful!” Mr. Swancourt muttered to himself, and then said out loud, “I thought we’d just get on the boat. Honestly, I wouldn't have come if I had known this hassle was part of it.”
“If they must splash, I wish they would splash us with clean water,” said the old lady, wiping her dress with her handkerchief.
“If they have to splash, I wish they’d splash us with clean water,” said the old lady, wiping her dress with her handkerchief.
“I hope it is perfectly safe,” continued the vicar.
“I hope it’s totally safe,” continued the vicar.
“O papa! you are not very brave,” cried Elfride merrily.
“O Dad! you’re not very brave,” Elfride said playfully.
“Bravery is only obtuseness to the perception of contingencies,” Mr. Swancourt severely answered.
“Bravery is just a lack of awareness of the possible outcomes,” Mr. Swancourt replied sternly.
Mrs. Swancourt laughed, and Elfride laughed, and Knight laughed, in the midst of which pleasantness a man shouted to them from some position between their heads and the sky, and they found they were close to the Juliet, into which they quiveringly ascended.
Mrs. Swancourt laughed, and Elfride laughed, and Knight laughed, when suddenly a man shouted to them from somewhere above, and they realized they were near the Juliet, which they nervously climbed into.
It having been found that the lowness of the tide would prevent their getting off for an hour, the Swancourts, having nothing else to do, allowed their eyes to idle upon men in blue jerseys performing mysterious mending operations with tar-twine; they turned to look at the dashes of lurid sunlight, like burnished copper stars afloat on the ripples, which danced into and tantalized their vision; or listened to the loud music of a steam-crane at work close by; or to sighing sounds from the funnels of passing steamers, getting dead as they grew more distant; or to shouts from the decks of different craft in their vicinity, all of them assuming the form of “Ah-he-hay!”
It was discovered that the low tide would keep them stuck for another hour, so the Swancourts, with nothing better to do, let their eyes wander over men in blue jerseys doing mysterious repairs with tar-twine. They gazed at the bright patches of sunlight, like polished copper stars floating on the waves, that danced into and teased their sight; or listened to the loud noise of a nearby steam crane at work; or the fading sounds from the stacks of passing boats, growing quieter as they moved away; or the calls from the decks of various ships around them, all of them sounding out as “Ah-he-hay!”
Half-past ten: not yet off. Mr. Swancourt breathed a breath of weariness, and looked at his fellow-travellers in general. Their faces were certainly not worth looking at. The expression “Waiting” was written upon them so absolutely that nothing more could be discerned there. All animation was suspended till Providence should raise the water and let them go.
Half past ten: still no departure. Mr. Swancourt let out a weary sigh and glanced at his fellow travelers. Their faces were definitely not worth looking at. The expression “Waiting” was so prominently displayed on them that nothing else could be made out. All energy was on hold until fate decided to raise the water and allow them to leave.
“I have been thinking,” said Knight, “that we have come amongst the rarest class of people in the kingdom. Of all human characteristics, a low opinion of the value of his own time by an individual must be among the strangest to find. Here we see numbers of that patient and happy species. Rovers, as distinct from travellers.”
“I’ve been thinking,” said Knight, “that we’ve come across one of the rarest types of people in the kingdom. Of all human traits, having a low opinion of the worth of one’s own time is one of the oddest to encounter. Here we see many of that patient and happy kind. Rovers, as opposed to travelers.”
“But they are pleasure-seekers, to whom time is of no importance.”
“But they are pleasure-seekers for whom time doesn’t matter.”
“Oh no. The pleasure-seekers we meet on the grand routes are more anxious than commercial travellers to rush on. And added to the loss of time in getting to their journey’s end, these exceptional people take their chance of sea-sickness by coming this way.”
“Oh no. The pleasure-seekers we encounter on the main roads are even more eager than business travelers to hurry on. And on top of the time wasted getting to their destination, these unusual people risk sea sickness by taking this route.”
“Can it be?” inquired the vicar with apprehension. “Surely not, Mr. Knight, just here in our English Channel—close at our doors, as I may say.”
“Can it be?” asked the vicar, looking worried. “Surely not, Mr. Knight, right here in our English Channel—so close to home, as I might say.”
“Entrance passages are very draughty places, and the Channel is like the rest. It ruins the temper of sailors. It has been calculated by philosophers that more damns go up to heaven from the Channel, in the course of a year, than from all the five oceans put together.”
“Entrance passages are really drafty areas, and the Channel is no different. It drives sailors crazy. Philosophers have figured out that more curses are shouted to the heavens from the Channel in a year than from all five oceans combined.”
They really start now, and the dead looks of all the throng come to life immediately. The man who has been frantically hauling in a rope that bade fair to have no end ceases his labours, and they glide down the serpentine bends of the Thames.
They really start now, and the lifeless expressions of all the crowd come to life instantly. The man who has been desperately pulling in a rope that seemed endless stops his work, and they smoothly drift down the winding bends of the Thames.
Anything anywhere was a mine of interest to Elfride, and so was this.
Anything and everything caught Elfride's interest, and this was no exception.
“It is well enough now,” said Mrs. Swancourt, after they had passed the Nore, “but I can’t say I have cared for my voyage hitherto.” For being now in the open sea a slight breeze had sprung up, which cheered her as well as her two younger companions. But unfortunately it had a reverse effect upon the vicar, who, after turning a sort of apricot jam colour, interspersed with dashes of raspberry, pleaded indisposition, and vanished from their sight.
“It’s fine now,” said Mrs. Swancourt, after they had passed the Nore, “but I can’t say I’ve enjoyed my trip so far.” Now that they were in open sea, a gentle breeze had picked up, which brightened her mood as well as that of her two younger companions. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect on the vicar, who, after turning a shade of apricot jam mixed with splotches of raspberry, claimed he felt unwell and disappeared from their view.
The afternoon wore on. Mrs. Swancourt kindly sat apart by herself reading, and the betrothed pair were left to themselves. Elfride clung trustingly to Knight’s arm, and proud was she to walk with him up and down the deck, or to go forward, and leaning with him against the forecastle rails, watch the setting sun gradually withdrawing itself over their stern into a huge bank of livid cloud with golden edges that rose to meet it.
The afternoon passed. Mrs. Swancourt sat by herself, absorbed in a book, while the engaged couple had time alone. Elfride held Knight’s arm with trust, feeling proud to stroll with him along the deck or lean together on the forecastle rails, watching the sun slowly dip behind the horizon into a massive bank of gray clouds with golden edges that rose to meet it.
She was childishly full of life and spirits, though in walking up and down with him before the other passengers, and getting noticed by them, she was at starting rather confused, it being the first time she had shown herself so openly under that kind of protection. “I expect they are envious and saying things about us, don’t you?” she would whisper to Knight with a stealthy smile.
She was lively and full of energy, but as she walked up and down with him in front of the other passengers, she felt a bit flustered at first since it was the first time she had been so openly seen under that kind of protection. “I bet they’re jealous and talking about us, don’t you?” she would whisper to Knight with a sly smile.
“Oh no,” he would answer unconcernedly. “Why should they envy us, and what can they say?”
“Oh no,” he would reply casually. “Why would they envy us, and what could they say?”
“Not any harm, of course,” Elfride replied, “except such as this: ‘How happy those two are! she is proud enough now.’ What makes it worse,” she continued in the extremity of confidence, “I heard those two cricketing men say just now, ‘She’s the nobbiest girl on the boat.’ But I don’t mind it, you know, Harry.”
“Not any harm, of course,” Elfride replied, “except for this: ‘How happy those two are! She’s pretty proud now.’ What makes it worse,” she continued, feeling very open, “I just heard those two guys say, ‘She’s the best-looking girl on the boat.’ But I don’t mind it, you know, Harry.”
“I should hardly have supposed you did, even if you had not told me,” said Knight with great blandness.
“I wouldn't have thought you did, even if you hadn't said so,” Knight replied with a pleasant demeanor.
She was never tired of asking her lover questions and admiring his answers, good, bad, or indifferent as they might be. The evening grew dark and night came on, and lights shone upon them from the horizon and from the sky.
She never got tired of asking her lover questions and admiring his answers, whether they were good, bad, or just okay. The evening grew dark, night fell, and lights shone on them from the horizon and the sky.
“Now look there ahead of us, at that halo in the air, of silvery brightness. Watch it, and you will see what it comes to.”
“Now look ahead of us at that halo in the air, glowing with a silvery brightness. Watch it, and you'll see what it leads to.”
She watched for a few minutes, when two white lights emerged from the side of a hill, and showed themselves to be the origin of the halo.
She watched for a few minutes when two white lights appeared from the side of a hill, revealing themselves to be the source of the halo.
“What a dazzling brilliance! What do they mark?”
“What a bright light! What do they signify?”
“The South Foreland: they were previously covered by the cliff.”
“The South Foreland: they were once hidden by the cliff.”
“What is that level line of little sparkles—a town, I suppose?”
“What is that straight line of tiny sparkles—a town, I guess?”
“That’s Dover.”
"That's Dover."
All this time, and later, soft sheet lightning expanded from a cloud in their path, enkindling their faces as they paced up and down, shining over the water, and, for a moment, showing the horizon as a keen line.
All this time, and later, soft sheet lightning spread from a cloud in their path, lighting up their faces as they walked back and forth, reflecting on the water, and, for a moment, outlining the horizon sharply.
Elfride slept soundly that night. Her first thought the next morning was the thrilling one that Knight was as close at hand as when they were at home at Endelstow, and her first sight, on looking out of the cabin window, was the perpendicular face of Beachy Head, gleaming white in a brilliant six-o’clock-in-the-morning sun. This fair daybreak, however, soon changed its aspect. A cold wind and a pale mist descended upon the sea, and seemed to threaten a dreary day.
Elfride slept peacefully that night. Her first thought the next morning was the exciting realization that Knight was just as close as when they were at home in Endelstow, and her first view from the cabin window was the sheer face of Beachy Head, shining white in the bright six o’clock morning sun. However, this beautiful sunrise quickly changed its mood. A cold wind and a pale mist rolled in over the sea, making it seem like a gloomy day was ahead.
When they were nearing Southampton, Mrs. Swancourt came to say that her husband was so ill that he wished to be put on shore here, and left to do the remainder of the journey by land. “He will be perfectly well directly he treads firm ground again. Which shall we do—go with him, or finish our voyage as we intended?”
When they were getting close to Southampton, Mrs. Swancourt came to say that her husband was so sick that he wanted to be put ashore here and would complete the rest of the trip by land. “He’ll be completely fine as soon as he steps on solid ground again. What should we do—go with him or continue our journey as we planned?”
Elfride was comfortably housed under an umbrella which Knight was holding over her to keep off the wind. “Oh, don’t let us go on shore!” she said with dismay. “It would be such a pity!”
Elfride was cozy under an umbrella that Knight was holding over her to shield her from the wind. “Oh, please don’t make us go ashore!” she said, looking worried. “It would be such a shame!”
“That’s very fine,” said Mrs. Swancourt archly, as to a child. “See, the wind has increased her colour, the sea her appetite and spirits, and somebody her happiness. Yes, it would be a pity, certainly.”
“That’s really nice,” Mrs. Swancourt said playfully, as if to a child. “Look, the wind has made her blush, the sea has boosted her mood and energy, and someone has made her happy. Yes, it would definitely be a shame.”
“’Tis my misfortune to be always spoken to from a pedestal,” sighed Elfride.
“It’s my misfortune to always be spoken to from a pedestal,” sighed Elfride.
“Well, we will do as you like, Mrs. Swancourt,” said Knight, “but——”
“Well, we’ll do what you want, Mrs. Swancourt,” said Knight, “but——”
“I myself would rather remain on board,” interrupted the elder lady. “And Mr. Swancourt particularly wishes to go by himself. So that shall settle the matter.”
“I’d prefer to stay on board,” interrupted the older woman. “And Mr. Swancourt specifically wants to go alone. So that settles it.”
The vicar, now a drab colour, was put ashore, and became as well as ever forthwith.
The vicar, now a dull color, was put ashore and quickly returned to his usual self.
Elfride, sitting alone in a retired part of the vessel, saw a veiled woman walk aboard among the very latest arrivals at this port. She was clothed in black silk, and carried a dark shawl upon her arm. The woman, without looking around her, turned to the quarter allotted to the second-cabin passengers. All the carnation Mrs. Swancourt had complimented her step-daughter upon possessing left Elfride’s cheeks, and she trembled visibly.
Elfride, sitting alone in a quiet part of the ship, saw a veiled woman walk on board with the latest arrivals at this port. She was dressed in black silk and carried a dark shawl on her arm. Without glancing around, the woman headed toward the area designated for second-cabin passengers. All the color Mrs. Swancourt had praised her step-daughter for having drained from Elfride's cheeks, and she shook noticeably.
She ran to the other side of the boat, where Mrs. Swancourt was standing.
She ran to the other side of the boat, where Mrs. Swancourt was standing.
“Let us go home by railway with papa, after all,” she pleaded earnestly. “I would rather go with him—shall we?”
“Let’s take the train home with Dad, after all,” she urged sincerely. “I’d rather go with him—can we?”
Mrs. Swancourt looked around for a moment, as if unable to decide. “Ah,” she exclaimed, “it is too late now. Why did not you say so before, when we had plenty of time?”
Mrs. Swancourt looked around for a moment, as if she couldn’t decide. “Ah,” she exclaimed, “it's too late now. Why didn't you say something earlier, when we had plenty of time?”
The Juliet had at that minute let go, the engines had started, and they were gliding slowly away from the quay. There was no help for it but to remain, unless the Juliet could be made to put back, and that would create a great disturbance. Elfride gave up the idea and submitted quietly. Her happiness was sadly mutilated now.
The Juliet had just let go, the engines had started, and they were slowly pulling away from the dock. There was no choice but to stay put unless the Juliet could be turned back, which would cause a major commotion. Elfride abandoned that thought and accepted it quietly. Her happiness was now sadly diminished.
The woman whose presence had so disturbed her was exactly like Mrs. Jethway. She seemed to haunt Elfride like a shadow. After several minutes’ vain endeavour to account for any design Mrs. Jethway could have in watching her, Elfride decided to think that, if it were the widow, the encounter was accidental. She remembered that the widow in her restlessness was often visiting the village near Southampton, which was her original home, and it was possible that she chose water-transit with the idea of saving expense.
The woman who had unsettled her was just like Mrs. Jethway. She seemed to follow Elfride like a shadow. After several minutes of trying unsuccessfully to figure out why Mrs. Jethway would be watching her, Elfride decided to believe that if it was the widow, their meeting was just a coincidence. She recalled that the widow, in her restlessness, often visited the village near Southampton, which was her original home, and it was possible that she opted for a boat to save money.
“What is the matter, Elfride?” Knight inquired, standing before her.
“What’s wrong, Elfride?” Knight asked, standing in front of her.
“Nothing more than that I am rather depressed.”
“It's just that I feel pretty down.”
“I don’t much wonder at it; that wharf was depressing. We seemed underneath and inferior to everything around us. But we shall be in the sea breeze again soon, and that will freshen you, dear.”
“I don’t really blame you; that wharf was gloomy. We felt small and out of place compared to everything around us. But we’ll be in the sea breeze again soon, and that will refresh you, dear.”
The evening closed in and dusk increased as they made way down Southampton Water and through the Solent. Elfride’s disturbance of mind was such that her light spirits of the foregoing four and twenty hours had entirely deserted her. The weather too had grown more gloomy, for though the showers of the morning had ceased, the sky was covered more closely than ever with dense leaden clouds. How beautiful was the sunset when they rounded the North Foreland the previous evening! now it was impossible to tell within half an hour the time of the luminary’s going down. Knight led her about, and being by this time accustomed to her sudden changes of mood, overlooked the necessity of a cause in regarding the conditions—impressionableness and elasticity.
The evening set in and dusk deepened as they made their way down Southampton Water and through the Solent. Elfride was so troubled that the light-heartedness she had felt for the past day had completely vanished. The weather had turned more gloomy as well; although the morning showers had stopped, the sky was more tightly packed with heavy, gray clouds than ever. How beautiful the sunset had been when they rounded the North Foreland the night before! Now, it was impossible to tell the time of the sun's setting even half an hour in advance. Knight guided her, and by this point, since he was used to her sudden mood swings, he no longer felt the need to look for a reason behind her feelings—just the way she was affected and how she bounced back.
Elfride looked stealthily to the other end of the vessel. Mrs. Jethway, or her double, was sitting at the stern—her eye steadily regarding Elfride.
Elfride glanced quietly toward the other end of the boat. Mrs. Jethway, or someone who looked just like her, was sitting at the back—her gaze fixed intently on Elfride.
“Let us go to the forepart,” she said quickly to Knight. “See there—the man is fixing the lights for the night.”
“Let’s go to the front,” she said quickly to Knight. “Look over there—the guy is setting up the lights for the night.”
Knight assented, and after watching the operation of fixing the red and the green lights on the port and starboard bows, and the hoisting of the white light to the masthead, he walked up and down with her till the increase of wind rendered promenading difficult. Elfride’s eyes were occasionally to be found furtively gazing abaft, to learn if her enemy were really there. Nobody was visible now.
Knight agreed, and after observing the process of attaching the red and green lights to the left and right bows, and raising the white light to the top of the mast, he paced back and forth with her until the rising wind made walking difficult. Elfride's eyes would occasionally sneak a glance behind to see if her enemy was truly there. No one was visible now.
“Shall we go below?” said Knight, seeing that the deck was nearly deserted.
“Should we head below?” said Knight, noticing that the deck was almost empty.
“No,” she said. “If you will kindly get me a rug from Mrs. Swancourt, I should like, if you don’t mind, to stay here.” She had recently fancied the assumed Mrs. Jethway might be a first-class passenger, and dreaded meeting her by accident.
“No,” she said. “If you could please get me a rug from Mrs. Swancourt, I would like, if you don’t mind, to stay here.” She had recently thought that the supposed Mrs. Jethway might be a first-class passenger and was anxious about running into her by chance.
Knight appeared with the rug, and they sat down behind a weather-cloth on the windward side, just as the two red eyes of the Needles glared upon them from the gloom, their pointed summits rising like shadowy phantom figures against the sky. It became necessary to go below to an eight-o’clock meal of nondescript kind, and Elfride was immensely relieved at finding no sign of Mrs. Jethway there. They again ascended, and remained above till Mrs. Snewson staggered up to them with the message that Mrs. Swancourt thought it was time for Elfride to come below. Knight accompanied her down, and returned again to pass a little more time on deck.
Knight showed up with the rug, and they settled down behind a windbreaker on the side facing the wind, just as the two red eyes of the Needles stared at them from the darkness, their pointed peaks rising like shadowy ghostly figures against the sky. It became necessary to head below for an eight o'clock meal of an indeterminate sort, and Elfride felt a huge sense of relief at realizing that Mrs. Jethway wasn’t there. They went back up again and stayed above until Mrs. Snewson came up to them, saying that Mrs. Swancourt thought it was time for Elfride to come down. Knight walked down with her and then returned to the deck to spend a little more time there.
Elfride partly undressed herself and lay down, and soon became unconscious, though her sleep was light. How long she had lain, she knew not, when by slow degrees she became cognizant of a whispering in her ear.
Elfride partially undressed and lay down, quickly slipping into a light sleep. She didn't know how long she had been lying there when she gradually became aware of a whispering in her ear.
“You are well on with him, I can see. Well, provoke me now, but my day will come, you will find.” That seemed to be the utterance, or words to that effect.
“You're doing great with him, I can see. Well, go ahead and provoke me now, but my day will come, you'll see.” That seemed to be what was said, or something like that.
Elfride became broad awake and terrified. She knew the words, if real, could be only those of one person, and that person the widow Jethway.
Elfride woke up completely and was scared. She realized that the words, if they were real, could only belong to one person, and that person was the widow Jethway.
The lamp had gone out and the place was in darkness. In the next berth she could hear her stepmother breathing heavily, further on Snewson breathing more heavily still. These were the only other legitimate occupants of the cabin, and Mrs. Jethway must have stealthily come in by some means and retreated again, or else she had entered an empty berth next Snewson’s. The fear that this was the case increased Elfride’s perturbation, till it assumed the dimensions of a certainty, for how could a stranger from the other end of the ship possibly contrive to get in? Could it have been a dream?
The lamp had gone out, and the place was dark. In the next berth, she could hear her stepmother breathing heavily, and further along, Snewson was breathing even heavier. These were the only other legitimate occupants of the cabin, and Mrs. Jethway must have sneaked in somehow and then slipped out again, or she had entered an empty berth next to Snewson’s. The fear that this was the case heightened Elfride’s anxiety until it felt certain, because how could a stranger from the other end of the ship possibly get in? Could it have been a dream?
Elfride raised herself higher and looked out of the window. There was the sea, floundering and rushing against the ship’s side just by her head, and thence stretching away, dim and moaning, into an expanse of indistinctness; and far beyond all this two placid lights like rayless stars. Now almost fearing to turn her face inwards again, lest Mrs. Jethway should appear at her elbow, Elfride meditated upon whether to call Snewson to keep her company. “Four bells” sounded, and she heard voices, which gave her a little courage. It was not worth while to call Snewson.
Elfride lifted herself higher and looked out of the window. The sea was thrashing and crashing against the side of the ship just by her head, and it stretched away, dim and mournful, into a vast blur; and far beyond all of this were two calm lights like starless glimmers. Almost afraid to turn her face back inside again, in case Mrs. Jethway appeared by her side, Elfride thought about whether to call Snewson to keep her company. The “four bells” rang, and she heard voices, which gave her a bit of courage. It wasn't worth it to call Snewson.
At any rate Elfride could not stay there panting longer, at the risk of being again disturbed by that dreadful whispering. So wrapping herself up hurriedly she emerged into the passage, and by the aid of a faint light burning at the entrance to the saloon found the foot of the stairs, and ascended to the deck. Dreary the place was in the extreme. It seemed a new spot altogether in contrast with its daytime self. She could see the glowworm light from the binnacle, and the dim outline of the man at the wheel; also a form at the bows. Not another soul was apparent from stem to stern.
At any rate, Elfride couldn't stay there gasping any longer, worried about being disturbed again by that creepy whispering. So, wrapping herself up quickly, she stepped into the hallway and, with the help of a dim light at the entrance to the saloon, found the bottom of the stairs and went up to the deck. The place felt incredibly dreary. It seemed completely different compared to how it looked during the day. She could see the glow of the light from the binnacle and the faint outline of the man at the wheel, as well as a figure at the bow. There wasn't another soul in sight from front to back.
Yes, there were two more—by the bulwarks. One proved to be her Harry, the other the mate. She was glad indeed, and on drawing closer found they were holding a low slow chat about nautical affairs. She ran up and slipped her hand through Knight’s arm, partly for love, partly for stability.
Yes, there were two more—by the guardrails. One turned out to be her Harry, the other the mate. She was really glad, and as she got closer, she noticed they were having a quiet, slow conversation about boating matters. She rushed over and slipped her hand through Knight’s arm, partly out of affection, partly for support.
“Elfie! not asleep?” said Knight, after moving a few steps aside with her.
“Elfie! Are you not asleep?” said Knight, after stepping a few paces away with her.
“No: I cannot sleep. May I stay here? It is so dismal down there, and—and I was afraid. Where are we now?”
“No: I can’t sleep. Can I stay here? It’s so gloomy down there, and—and I was scared. Where are we now?”
“Due south of Portland Bill. Those are the lights abeam of us: look. A terrible spot, that, on a stormy night. And do you see a very small light that dips and rises to the right? That’s a light-ship on the dangerous shoal called the Shambles, where many a good vessel has gone to pieces. Between it and ourselves is the Race—a place where antagonistic currents meet and form whirlpools—a spot which is rough in the smoothest weather, and terrific in a wind. That dark, dreary horizon we just discern to the left is the West Bay, terminated landwards by the Chesil Beach.”
“Directly south of Portland Bill. Those are the lights shining beside us: take a look. It’s a dangerous spot, especially on a stormy night. And do you see that tiny light that goes up and down to the right? That’s a lightship marking the dangerous shoal known as the Shambles, where many ships have wrecked. Between us and it is the Race—a place where opposing currents collide and create whirlpools—a location that’s rough even in calm weather and terrifying in strong winds. That dark, gloomy horizon we can barely see to the left is West Bay, which ends on land at Chesil Beach.”
“What time is it, Harry?”
“What time is it, Harry?”
“Just past two.”
"Just after two."
“Are you going below?”
"Are you going downstairs?"
“Oh no; not to-night. I prefer pure air.”
“Oh no; not tonight. I prefer fresh air.”
She fancied he might be displeased with her for coming to him at this unearthly hour. “I should like to stay here too, if you will allow me,” she said timidly.
She thought he might be annoyed with her for coming to him at this bizarre hour. “I would like to stay here too, if that’s okay with you,” she said shyly.
“I want to ask you things.”
“I want to ask you some questions.”
“Allow you, Elfie!” said Knight, putting his arm round her and drawing her closer. “I am twice as happy with you by my side. Yes: we will stay, and watch the approach of day.”
“Come here, Elfie!” said Knight, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her closer. “I’m twice as happy with you here. Yes: we’ll stay and watch the sunrise.”
So they again sought out the sheltered nook, and sitting down wrapped themselves in the rug as before.
So they went back to the cozy spot, and sitting down, they wrapped themselves in the blanket just like before.
“What were you going to ask me?” he inquired, as they undulated up and down.
“What were you going to ask me?” he asked, as they moved up and down.
“Oh, it was not much—perhaps a thing I ought not to ask,” she said hesitatingly. Her sudden wish had really been to discover at once whether he had ever before been engaged to be married. If he had, she would make that a ground for telling him a little of her conduct with Stephen. Mrs. Jethway’s seeming words had so depressed the girl that she herself now painted her flight in the darkest colours, and longed to ease her burdened mind by an instant confession. If Knight had ever been imprudent himself, he might, she hoped, forgive all.
“Oh, it’s not a big deal—maybe it’s something I shouldn’t ask,” she said hesitantly. Her real desire was to find out right away if he had ever been engaged before. If he had, she would use that as a reason to share a bit about what happened with Stephen. Mrs. Jethway’s seemingly harsh words had really brought her down, and now she saw her own actions in the worst light, longing to relieve her troubled mind with an immediate confession. If Knight had ever made a mistake himself, she hoped he could forgive everything.
“I wanted to ask you,” she went on, “if—you had ever been engaged before.” She added tremulously, “I hope you have—I mean, I don’t mind at all if you have.”
“I wanted to ask you,” she continued, “if you’ve ever been engaged before.” She added nervously, “I hope you have—I mean, I really don’t mind at all if you have.”
“No, I never was,” Knight instantly and heartily replied. “Elfride”—and there was a certain happy pride in his tone—“I am twelve years older than you, and I have been about the world, and, in a way, into society, and you have not. And yet I am not so unfit for you as strict-thinking people might imagine, who would assume the difference in age to signify most surely an equal addition to my practice in love-making.”
“No, I never was,” Knight instantly and enthusiastically replied. “Elfride”—and there was a certain happy pride in his tone—“I’m twelve years older than you, and I’ve experienced the world and, in a way, society, while you haven’t. Yet I’m not as unfit for you as strict-minded people might think, who would assume that the age difference means I have much more experience in romance.”
Elfride shivered.
Elfride shivered.
“You are cold—is the wind too much for you?”
“You're cold—Is the wind too much for you?”
“No,” she said gloomily. The belief which had been her sheet-anchor in hoping for forgiveness had proved false. This account of the exceptional nature of his experience, a matter which would have set her rejoicing two years ago, chilled her now like a frost.
“No,” she said sadly. The belief that had been her lifeline in hoping for forgiveness had turned out to be wrong. Hearing about the extraordinary nature of his experience, something that would have made her happy two years ago, now left her feeling cold like frost.
“You don’t mind my asking you?” she continued.
“You don’t mind if I ask you?” she continued.
“Oh no—not at all.”
“Oh no—not even close.”
“And have you never kissed many ladies?” she whispered, hoping he would say a hundred at the least.
“And haven’t you kissed a lot of ladies?” she whispered, hoping he would say at least a hundred.
The time, the circumstances, and the scene were such as to draw confidences from the most reserved. “Elfride,” whispered Knight in reply, “it is strange you should have asked that question. But I’ll answer it, though I have never told such a thing before. I have been rather absurd in my avoidance of women. I have never given a woman a kiss in my life, except yourself and my mother.” The man of two and thirty with the experienced mind warmed all over with a boy’s ingenuous shame as he made the confession.
The timing, the situation, and the setting were enough to get even the most reserved people to open up. “Elfride,” Knight whispered in response, “it’s odd that you asked that question. But I’ll answer it, even though I've never shared something like this before. I’ve been quite silly in how I've stayed away from women. I’ve never kissed a woman in my life, except for you and my mother.” The thirty-two-year-old man with the experienced mind felt a rush of youthful embarrassment as he made this confession.
“What, not one?” she faltered.
"What, not even one?" she faltered.
“No; not one.”
“Nope; not a single one.”
“How very strange!”
“How weird!”
“Yes, the reverse experience may be commoner. And yet, to those who have observed their own sex, as I have, my case is not remarkable. Men about town are women’s favourites—that’s the postulate—and superficial people don’t think far enough to see that there may be reserved, lonely exceptions.”
“Yes, the opposite experience might be more common. Yet, for those who have noticed their own gender, like I have, my situation isn’t unusual. Men in the city are women’s favorites—that’s the assumption—and superficial people don’t think deeply enough to realize that there might be reserved, lonely exceptions.”
“Are you proud of it, Harry?”
“Are you proud of it, Harry?”
“No, indeed. Of late years I have wished I had gone my ways and trod out my measure like lighter-hearted men. I have thought of how many happy experiences I may have lost through never going to woo.”
“No, not at all. In recent years, I've regretted not living my life and enjoying it like happier people do. I've thought about how many joyful experiences I might have missed by never going out to date.”
“Then why did you hold aloof?”
“Then why did you keep your distance?”
“I cannot say. I don’t think it was my nature to: circumstance hindered me, perhaps. I have regretted it for another reason. This great remissness of mine has had its effect upon me. The older I have grown, the more distinctly have I perceived that it was absolutely preventing me from liking any woman who was not as unpractised as I; and I gave up the expectation of finding a nineteenth-century young lady in my own raw state. Then I found you, Elfride, and I felt for the first time that my fastidiousness was a blessing. And it helped to make me worthy of you. I felt at once that, differing as we did in other experiences, in this matter I resembled you. Well, aren’t you glad to hear it, Elfride?”
“I can’t say. I don’t think it was really in my nature to: maybe circumstance held me back. I’ve regretted it for another reason. This big oversight of mine has impacted me. The older I get, the more I realize that it was completely stopping me from liking any woman who wasn’t as inexperienced as I was; and I gave up the hope of finding a young lady from the nineteenth century who was as naïve as me. Then I found you, Elfride, and for the first time, I felt that my pickiness was a blessing. It helped make me deserving of you. I realized right away that, even though we had different experiences in other ways, in this aspect, I was similar to you. Well, aren’t you glad to hear that, Elfride?”
“Yes, I am,” she answered in a forced voice. “But I always had thought that men made lots of engagements before they married—especially if they don’t marry very young.”
“Yes, I am,” she replied, her voice strained. “But I always thought that guys made a lot of commitments before getting married—especially if they don’t marry very young.”
“So all women think, I suppose—and rightly, indeed, of the majority of bachelors, as I said before. But an appreciable minority of slow-coach men do not—and it makes them very awkward when they do come to the point. However, it didn’t matter in my case.”
“So all women think, I guess—and rightly so, about most bachelors, as I mentioned earlier. But a noticeable number of laid-back guys don’t—and it makes things really uncomfortable when they finally get to it. However, it didn’t matter in my situation.”
“Why?” she asked uneasily.
“Why?” she asked nervously.
“Because you know even less of love-making and matrimonial prearrangement than I, and so you can’t draw invidious comparisons if I do my engaging improperly.”
“Because you know even less about love-making and marriage arrangements than I do, you can't make unfair comparisons if I don't get my engagement right.”
“I think you do it beautifully!”
“I think you do it beautifully!”
“Thank you, dear. But,” continued Knight laughingly, “your opinion is not that of an expert, which alone is of value.”
“Thanks, dear. But,” Knight continued with a laugh, “your opinion isn’t that of an expert, and that’s the only one that really matters.”
Had she answered, “Yes, it is,” half as strongly as she felt it, Knight might have been a little astonished.
Had she answered, “Yeah, it is,” half as strongly as she felt it, Knight might have been a bit surprised.
“If you had ever been engaged to be married before,” he went on, “I expect your opinion of my addresses would be different. But then, I should not——”
“If you had ever been engaged before,” he continued, “I think your view of my proposals would be different. But then, I shouldn’t——”
“Should not what, Harry?”
"Shouldn't what, Harry?"
“Oh, I was merely going to say that in that case I should never have given myself the pleasure of proposing to you, since your freedom from that experience was your attraction, darling.”
“Oh, I was just going to say that in that case I would never have given myself the pleasure of proposing to you, since your freedom from that experience was what drew me to you, darling.”
“You are severe on women, are you not?”
“You're pretty harsh on women, aren't you?”
“No, I think not. I had a right to please my taste, and that was for untried lips. Other men than those of my sort acquire the taste as they get older—but don’t find an Elfride——”
“No, I don't think so. I had the right to satisfy my preferences, and that meant untested lips. Other men like me develop their tastes as they grow older—but they don’t find an Elfride——”
“What horrid sound is that we hear when we pitch forward?”
“What terrible sound is that we hear when we lurch forward?”
“Only the screw—don’t find an Elfride as I did. To think that I should have discovered such an unseen flower down there in the West—to whom a man is as much as a multitude to some women, and a trip down the English Channel like a voyage round the world!”
“Just the screw—don’t look for an Elfride like I did. It’s crazy to think I found such a hidden gem down in the West—where to some women, a man means as much as a crowd does, and a boat ride down the English Channel feels like traveling around the globe!”
“And would you,” she said, and her voice was tremulous, “have given up a lady—if you had become engaged to her—and then found she had had ONE kiss before yours—and would you have—gone away and left her?”
“And would you,” she said, her voice shaking, “have given up a woman—if you had gotten engaged to her—and then discovered she had shared ONE kiss before yours—and would you have—walked away and left her?”
“One kiss,—no, hardly for that.”
"One kiss—no, not for that."
“Two?”
"Two?"
“Well—I could hardly say inventorially like that. Too much of that sort of thing certainly would make me dislike a woman. But let us confine our attention to ourselves, not go thinking of might have beens.”
“Well—I could hardly say it like that. Too much of that kind of thing would definitely make me not like a woman. But let’s focus on ourselves and not dwell on what could have been.”
So Elfride had allowed her thoughts to “dally with false surmise,” and every one of Knight’s words fell upon her like a weight. After this they were silent for a long time, gazing upon the black mysterious sea, and hearing the strange voice of the restless wind. A rocking to and fro on the waves, when the breeze is not too violent and cold, produces a soothing effect even upon the most highly-wrought mind. Elfride slowly sank against Knight, and looking down, he found by her soft regular breathing that she had fallen asleep. Not wishing to disturb her, he continued still, and took an intense pleasure in supporting her warm young form as it rose and fell with her every breath.
So Elfride had let her mind get lost in misconceptions, and every one of Knight’s words felt heavy on her. After that, they stayed quiet for a long time, staring at the dark, mysterious sea and listening to the strange sound of the restless wind. Gently rocking on the waves when the breeze isn’t too violent or cold can be really soothing, even for the most restless mind. Elfride gradually leaned against Knight, and when he looked down, he noticed her soft, steady breathing; she had fallen asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he stayed still and found great comfort in supporting her warm, young body as it rose and fell with each breath.
Knight fell to dreaming too, though he continued wide awake. It was pleasant to realize the implicit trust she placed in him, and to think of the charming innocence of one who could sink to sleep in so simple and unceremonious a manner. More than all, the musing unpractical student felt the immense responsibility he was taking upon himself by becoming the protector and guide of such a trusting creature. The quiet slumber of her soul lent a quietness to his own. Then she moaned, and turned herself restlessly. Presently her mutterings became distinct:
Knight also started dreaming while still wide awake. It was nice to recognize the deep trust she had in him and to think about the sweet innocence of someone who could fall asleep so simply and without fuss. More than anything, the dreamy, impractical student felt the huge responsibility he was taking on by becoming the protector and guide of such a trusting person. Her peaceful slumber brought a sense of calm to his own mind. Then she moaned and turned restlessly. Soon, her mumblings became clear:
“Don’t tell him—he will not love me....I did not mean any disgrace—indeed I did not, so don’t tell Harry. We were going to be married—that was why I ran away....And he says he will not have a kissed woman....And if you tell him he will go away, and I shall die. I pray have mercy—Oh!”
“Don’t tell him—he won’t love me....I didn’t mean any disgrace—really, I didn’t, so don’t tell Harry. We were supposed to get married—that’s why I ran away....And he says he won’t be with a woman who’s been kissed....And if you tell him, he’ll leave, and I’ll die. Please have mercy—Oh!”
Elfride started up wildly.
Elfride jumped up in surprise.
The previous moment a musical ding-dong had spread into the air from their right hand, and awakened her.
The moment before, a musical ding-dong had filled the air on their right side and woke her up.
“What is it?” she exclaimed in terror.
“What is it?” she shouted in fear.
“Only ‘eight bells,’” said Knight soothingly. “Don’t be frightened, little bird, you are safe. What have you been dreaming about?”
“Just ‘eight bells,’” Knight said gently. “Don’t be scared, little bird, you’re safe. What were you dreaming about?”
“I can’t tell, I can’t tell!” she said with a shudder. “Oh, I don’t know what to do!”
“I can’t say, I can’t say!” she exclaimed, trembling. “Oh, I don’t know what to do!”
“Stay quietly with me. We shall soon see the dawn now. Look, the morning star is lovely over there. The clouds have completely cleared off whilst you have been sleeping. What have you been dreaming of?”
“Stay quietly with me. We’ll soon see the dawn. Look, the morning star is beautiful over there. The clouds have completely cleared while you were sleeping. What have you been dreaming about?”
“A woman in our parish.”
“A woman in our community.”
“Don’t you like her?”
"Don't you like her?"
“I don’t. She doesn’t like me. Where are we?”
“I don’t. She doesn’t like me. Where are we?”
“About south of the Exe.”
"South of the Exe."
Knight said no more on the words of her dream. They watched the sky till Elfride grew calm, and the dawn appeared. It was mere wan lightness first. Then the wind blew in a changed spirit, and died away to a zephyr. The star dissolved into the day.
Knight said no more about what she dreamed. They stared at the sky until Elfride became calm, and dawn broke. At first, it was just a faint light. Then the wind shifted and faded to a gentle breeze. The star disappeared as day arrived.
“That’s how I should like to die,” said Elfride, rising from her seat and leaning over the bulwark to watch the star’s last expiring gleam.
“That’s how I’d like to die,” said Elfride, getting up from her seat and leaning over the railing to watch the star’s final fading light.
“As the lines say,” Knight replied——
“As the lines say,” Knight replied——
“‘To set as sets the morning star, which goes
Not down behind the darken’d west, nor hides
Obscured among the tempests of the sky,
But melts away into the light of heaven.’”
“‘To set like the morning star, which doesn’t go
Down behind the darkened west, nor hides
Concealed among the storms of the sky,
But gradually fades into the light of heaven.’”
“Oh, other people have thought the same thing, have they? That’s always the case with my originalities—they are original to nobody but myself.”
“Oh, other people have thought the same thing, have they? That’s always how it goes with my original ideas—they're original to no one but me.”
“Not only the case with yours. When I was a young hand at reviewing I used to find that a frightful pitfall—dilating upon subjects I met with, which were novelties to me, and finding afterwards they had been exhausted by the thinking world when I was in pinafores.”
“It's not just your case. When I was newer to reviewing, I often fell into the trap of rambling about topics I encountered that were new to me, only to realize later that they had already been thoroughly discussed by the intellectual crowd when I was still in short dresses.”
“That is delightful. Whenever I find you have done a foolish thing I am glad, because it seems to bring you a little nearer to me, who have done many.” And Elfride thought again of her enemy asleep under the deck they trod.
“That is great. Whenever I see you’ve done something stupid, I feel happy because it seems to bring you a little closer to me, who has done plenty of silly things.” And Elfride thought again of her enemy sleeping under the deck they walked on.
All up the coast, prominences singled themselves out from recesses. Then a rosy sky spread over the eastern sea and behind the low line of land, flinging its livery in dashes upon the thin airy clouds in that direction. Every projection on the land seemed now so many fingers anxious to catch a little of the liquid light thrown so prodigally over the sky, and after a fantastic time of lustrous yellows in the east, the higher elevations along the shore were flooded with the same hues. The bluff and bare contours of Start Point caught the brightest, earliest glow of all, and so also did the sides of its white lighthouse, perched upon a shelf in its precipitous front like a mediaeval saint in a niche. Their lofty neighbour Bolt Head on the left remained as yet ungilded, and retained its gray.
All along the coast, high points stood out from low spots. Then a rosy sky spread over the eastern sea and behind the low line of land, splashing its colors onto the thin, airy clouds in that direction. Every jutting piece of land seemed like fingers eager to grab a bit of the liquid light generously scattered across the sky, and after a surreal display of bright yellows in the east, the higher elevations along the shore were drenched in the same colors. The bold and bare outline of Start Point caught the brightest, earliest glow of all, as did the sides of its white lighthouse, which sat on a shelf in its steep face like a medieval saint in a niche. Its tall neighbor Bolt Head on the left still remained unlit and held onto its gray.
Then up came the sun, as it were in jerks, just to seaward of the easternmost point of land, flinging out a Jacob’s-ladder path of light from itself to Elfride and Knight, and coating them with rays in a few minutes. The inferior dignitaries of the shore—Froward Point, Berry Head, and Prawle—all had acquired their share of the illumination ere this, and at length the very smallest protuberance of wave, cliff, or inlet, even to the innermost recesses of the lovely valley of the Dart, had its portion; and sunlight, now the common possession of all, ceased to be the wonderful and coveted thing it had been a short half hour before.
Then the sun rose, as if in fits, just off the easternmost point of land, casting down a stream of light like a Jacob’s ladder from itself to Elfride and Knight, wrapping them in rays within minutes. The lesser landmarks along the shore—Froward Point, Berry Head, and Prawle—had already begun to bask in the glow by this time, and eventually, even the tiniest wave, cliff, or inlet, including the deepest corners of the beautiful Dart valley, received its share; and sunlight, now a common gift to all, lost its wonder and desirability that it had held just half an hour earlier.
After breakfast, Plymouth arose into view, and grew distincter to their nearing vision, the Breakwater appearing like a streak of phosphoric light upon the surface of the sea. Elfride looked furtively around for Mrs. Jethway, but could discern no shape like hers. Afterwards, in the bustle of landing, she looked again with the same result, by which time the woman had probably glided upon the quay unobserved. Expanding with a sense of relief, Elfride waited whilst Knight looked to their luggage, and then saw her father approaching through the crowd, twirling his walking-stick to catch their attention. Elbowing their way to him they all entered the town, which smiled as sunny a smile upon Elfride as it had done between one and two years earlier, when she had entered it at precisely the same hour as the bride-elect of Stephen Smith.
After breakfast, Plymouth came into view, becoming clearer as they got closer, with the Breakwater shimmering like a streak of glowing light on the ocean's surface. Elfride glanced around for Mrs. Jethway but couldn’t spot her anywhere. Later, amid the rush of landing, she searched again but still had no luck; by then, the woman was likely on the quay without being noticed. Feeling relieved, Elfride waited while Knight took care of their luggage, and then she saw her father making his way through the crowd, twirling his walking stick to get their attention. Pushing through the crowd to reach him, they all entered the town, which greeted Elfride with the same warm smile it had shown her one to two years earlier when she had arrived at the exact same hour as Stephen Smith's bride-to-be.
Chapter XXX
“Vassal unto Love.”
"Servant of Love."
Elfride clung closer to Knight as day succeeded day. Whatever else might admit of question, there could be no dispute that the allegiance she bore him absorbed her whole soul and existence. A greater than Stephen had arisen, and she had left all to follow him.
Elfride held onto Knight tighter as the days went by. No matter what else could be questioned, it was clear that her loyalty to him consumed her entire being. A figure greater than Stephen had appeared, and she had given up everything to follow him.
The unreserved girl was never chary of letting her lover discover how much she admired him. She never once held an idea in opposition to any one of his, or insisted on any point with him, or showed any independence, or held her own on any subject. His lightest whim she respected and obeyed as law, and if, expressing her opinion on a matter, he took up the subject and differed from her, she instantly threw down her own opinion as wrong and untenable. Even her ambiguities and espieglerie were but media of the same manifestation; acted charades, embodying the words of her prototype, the tender and susceptible daughter-in-law of Naomi: “Let me find favour in thy sight, my lord; for that thou hast comforted me, and for that thou hast spoken friendly unto thine handmaid.”
The straightforward girl never held back from showing her boyfriend how much she admired him. She never disagreed with any of his ideas or insisted on her own points, and she never showed any independence or stood her ground on any topic. She honored and followed his every whim like it was a rule, and if she expressed her opinion on something and he disagreed, she quickly dismissed her own view as wrong. Even her mixed signals and playful teasing were just ways to express the same feelings; they were like acted-out charades, echoing the words of her inspiration, the caring and sensitive daughter-in-law of Naomi: “Let me find favor in your sight, my lord; for you have comforted me, and you have spoken kindly to your servant.”
She was syringing the plants one wet day in the greenhouse. Knight was sitting under a great passion-flower observing the scene. Sometimes he looked out at the rain from the sky, and then at Elfride’s inner rain of larger drops, which fell from trees and shrubs, after having previously hung from the twigs like small silver fruit.
She was using a syringe to water the plants on a rainy day in the greenhouse. Knight was sitting under a large passion flower, watching the scene unfold. Occasionally, he glanced out at the rain coming from the sky, and then at Elfride's own rain of bigger drops, which fell from the trees and shrubs after having hung from the branches like tiny silver fruits.
“I must give you something to make you think of me during this autumn at your chambers,” she was saying. “What shall it be? Portraits do more harm than good, by selecting the worst expression of which your face is capable. Hair is unlucky. And you don’t like jewellery.”
“I need to give you something so you’ll think of me this autumn in your place,” she said. “What should it be? Portraits do more harm than good because they always capture the worst expression your face can make. Hair isn’t a good idea either. And you’re not a fan of jewelry.”
“Something which shall bring back to my mind the many scenes we have enacted in this conservatory. I see what I should prize very much. That dwarf myrtle tree in the pot, which you have been so carefully tending.”
“Something that will remind me of the many moments we've shared in this conservatory. I can see what I would value greatly. That dwarf myrtle tree in the pot that you have been taking such good care of.”
Elfride looked thoughtfully at the myrtle.
Elfride stared thoughtfully at the myrtle.
“I can carry it comfortably in my hat box,” said Knight. “And I will put it in my window, and so, it being always before my eyes, I shall think of you continually.”
“I can easily carry it in my hat box,” said Knight. “And I will place it in my window, so it’s always in my line of sight, and that way, I’ll think of you all the time.”
It so happened that the myrtle which Knight had singled out had a peculiar beginning and history. It had originally been a twig worn in Stephen Smith’s button-hole, and he had taken it thence, stuck it into the pot, and told her that if it grew, she was to take care of it, and keep it in remembrance of him when he was far away.
It turned out that the myrtle Knight had chosen had an interesting origin and backstory. It had originally been a twig worn in Stephen Smith’s buttonhole, and he had taken it out, planted it in a pot, and told her that if it thrived, she should look after it and keep it as a reminder of him when he was far away.
She looked wistfully at the plant, and a sense of fairness to Smith’s memory caused her a pang of regret that Knight should have asked for that very one. It seemed exceeding a common heartlessness to let it go.
She gazed longingly at the plant, and the thought of being fair to Smith’s memory made her feel a twinge of regret that Knight had chosen that one. It felt incredibly callous to just let it go.
“Is there not anything you like better?” she said sadly. “That is only an ordinary myrtle.”
“Is there anything you like better?” she asked sadly. “That’s just an ordinary myrtle.”
“No: I am fond of myrtle.” Seeing that she did not take kindly to the idea, he said again, “Why do you object to my having that?”
“No: I really like myrtle.” Noticing that she wasn't responding well to the idea, he asked again, “Why do you have a problem with me having that?”
“Oh no—I don’t object precisely—it was a feeling.—Ah, here’s another cutting lately struck, and just as small—of a better kind, and with prettier leaves—myrtus microphylla.”
“Oh no—I don’t have a problem with it exactly—it was just a feeling.—Ah, here’s another small cutting I found recently, and it’s even better, with prettier leaves—myrtus microphylla.”
“That will do nicely. Let it be put in my room, that I may not forget it. What romance attaches to the other?”
“That works perfectly. Put it in my room so I don’t forget it. What’s the story behind the other one?”
“It was a gift to me.”
“It was a gift for me.”
The subject then dropped. Knight thought no more of the matter till, on entering his bedroom in the evening, he found the second myrtle placed upon his dressing-table as he had directed. He stood for a moment admiring the fresh appearance of the leaves by candlelight, and then he thought of the transaction of the day.
The topic was then forgotten. Knight didn’t think about it again until he got to his bedroom that evening and saw the second myrtle on his dressing table, just like he had asked. He paused for a moment to admire the fresh look of the leaves in the candlelight, and then he recalled the events of the day.
Male lovers as well as female can be spoilt by too much kindness, and Elfride’s uniform submissiveness had given Knight a rather exacting manner at crises, attached to her as he was. “Why should she have refused the one I first chose?” he now asked himself. Even such slight opposition as she had shown then was exceptional enough to make itself noticeable. He was not vexed with her in the least: the mere variation of her way to-day from her usual ways kept him musing on the subject, because it perplexed him. “It was a gift”—those were her words. Admitting it to be a gift, he thought she could hardly value a mere friend more than she valued him as a lover, and giving the plant into his charge would have made no difference. “Except, indeed, it was the gift of a lover,” he murmured.
Male lovers, just like female ones, can be spoiled by too much kindness, and Elfride’s constant submissiveness made Knight quite demanding during critical moments, especially since he was so attached to her. “Why did she refuse the first one I picked?” he pondered. Even the small amount of resistance she had shown back then was unusual enough to stand out. He wasn’t upset with her at all; the mere change in her behavior today from her usual self made him think about it, because it confused him. “It was a gift”—those were her words. If he accepted that it was a gift, he thought she wouldn’t value a mere friend more than she valued him as a lover, and handing over the plant to him wouldn’t have changed anything. “Except, of course, it was the gift of a lover,” he whispered.
“I wonder if Elfride has ever had a lover before?” he said aloud, as a new idea, quite. This and companion thoughts were enough to occupy him completely till he fell asleep—rather later than usual.
“I wonder if Elfride has ever had a lover before?” he said out loud, as a completely new idea. This and related thoughts kept him fully occupied until he fell asleep—quite a bit later than usual.
The next day, when they were again alone, he said to her rather suddenly—
The next day, when they were alone again, he said to her rather suddenly—
“Do you love me more or less, Elfie, for what I told you on board the steamer?”
“Do you love me more or less, Elfie, for what I said on the boat?”
“You told me so many things,” she returned, lifting her eyes to his and smiling.
“You told me so many things,” she replied, looking up at him and smiling.
“I mean the confession you coaxed out of me—that I had never been in the position of lover before.”
“I mean the confession you got out of me—that I had never been in the role of a lover before.”
“It is a satisfaction, I suppose, to be the first in your heart,” she said to him, with an attempt to continue her smiling.
“It’s nice, I guess, to be the first in your heart,” she said to him, trying to keep her smile going.
“I am going to ask you a question now,” said Knight, somewhat awkwardly. “I only ask it in a whimsical way, you know: not with great seriousness, Elfride. You may think it odd, perhaps.”
“I’m going to ask you a question now,” said Knight, a bit awkwardly. “I’m only asking it in a playful way, you know: not very seriously, Elfride. You might find it strange, maybe.”
Elfride tried desperately to keep the colour in her face. She could not, though distressed to think that getting pale showed consciousness of deeper guilt than merely getting red.
Elfride tried hard to keep the color in her face. She couldn’t, though, feeling upset at the thought that turning pale reflected a deeper guilt than just turning red.
“Oh no—I shall not think that,” she said, because obliged to say something to fill the pause which followed her questioner’s remark.
“Oh no—I won’t think that,” she said, feeling the need to say something to break the silence that followed her questioner's comment.
“It is this: have you ever had a lover? I am almost sure you have not; but, have you?”
“It is this: have you ever had a lover? I’m pretty sure you haven’t; but, have you?”
“Not, as it were, a lover; I mean, not worth mentioning, Harry,” she faltered.
“Not exactly a lover; I mean, not worth mentioning, Harry,” she hesitated.
Knight, overstrained in sentiment as he knew the feeling to be, felt some sickness of heart.
Knight, overwhelmed with emotion as he recognized it to be, felt a twinge of sadness.
“Still, he was a lover?”
"Still, he was a romantic?"
“Well, a sort of lover, I suppose,” she responded tardily.
“Well, a kind of lover, I guess,” she replied slowly.
“A man, I mean, you know.”
“A guy, you know?”
“Yes; but only a mere person, and——”
“Yes; but just a regular person, and——”
“But truly your lover?”
“But really your partner?”
“Yes; a lover certainly—he was that. Yes, he might have been called my lover.”
“Yes; a lover for sure—he was that. Yes, he could have been called my lover.”
Knight said nothing to this for a minute or more, and kept silent time with his finger to the tick of the old library clock, in which room the colloquy was going on.
Knight didn’t say anything for a minute or more, and he matched the silence with his finger to the ticking of the old library clock, where the conversation was taking place.
“You don’t mind, Harry, do you?” she said anxiously, nestling close to him, and watching his face.
“You don't mind, Harry, do you?” she asked nervously, snuggling up to him and studying his face.
“Of course, I don’t seriously mind. In reason, a man cannot object to such a trifle. I only thought you hadn’t—that was all.”
“Of course, I don’t really care. Honestly, a guy can’t get upset over something so small. I just thought you hadn’t—that’s all.”
However, one ray was abstracted from the glory about her head. But afterwards, when Knight was wandering by himself over the bare and breezy hills, and meditating on the subject, that ray suddenly returned. For she might have had a lover, and never have cared in the least for him. She might have used the word improperly, and meant “admirer” all the time. Of course she had been admired; and one man might have made his admiration more prominent than that of the rest—a very natural case.
However, one ray was taken away from the glory around her head. But later, when Knight was wandering alone over the empty and windy hills, thinking about it, that ray suddenly came back. She could have had a boyfriend and not cared about him at all. She might have used the word incorrectly and actually meant “admirer” the whole time. Of course, she had been admired; and one guy might have made his admiration stand out more than the others—a very natural situation.
They were sitting on one of the garden seats when he found occasion to put the supposition to the test. “Did you love that lover or admirer of yours ever so little, Elfie?”
They were sitting on one of the garden benches when he found a moment to put his theory to the test. “Did you ever love that boyfriend or admirer of yours even a little, Elfie?”
She murmured reluctantly, “Yes, I think I did.”
She said quietly, “Yeah, I think I did.”
Knight felt the same faint touch of misery. “Only a very little?” he said.
Knight felt a slight sense of misery. “Just a little bit?” he asked.
“I am not sure how much.”
“I’m not sure how much.”
“But you are sure, darling, you loved him a little?”
“But you’re sure, darling, you loved him just a bit?”
“I think I am sure I loved him a little.”
“I’m pretty sure I loved him a little.”
“And not a great deal, Elfie?”
“And not much, Elfie?”
“My love was not supported by reverence for his powers.”
“My love wasn’t backed by respect for his abilities.”
“But, Elfride, did you love him deeply?” said Knight restlessly.
“But, Elfride, did you really love him?” Knight asked, fidgeting.
“I don’t exactly know how deep you mean by deeply.”
“I’m not really sure how deep you’re referring to when you say deeply.”
“That’s nonsense.”
"That's ridiculous."
“You misapprehend; and you have let go my hand!” she cried, her eyes filling with tears. “Harry, don’t be severe with me, and don’t question me. I did not love him as I do you. And could it be deeply if I did not think him cleverer than myself? For I did not. You grieve me so much—you can’t think.”
“You don’t understand; and you’ve let go of my hand!” she exclaimed, her eyes filling with tears. “Harry, please don’t be harsh with me, and don’t interrogate me. I didn’t love him the way I love you. And could it be so deep if I didn’t think he was smarter than I am? Because I didn’t. You hurt me so much—you can’t imagine.”
“I will not say another word about it.”
“I won't say another word about it.”
“And you will not think about it, either, will you? I know you think of weaknesses in me after I am out of your sight; and not knowing what they are, I cannot combat them. I almost wish you were of a grosser nature, Harry; in truth I do! Or rather, I wish I could have the advantages such a nature in you would afford me, and yet have you as you are.”
“And you won’t think about it, either, will you? I know you think about my flaws after I’m out of your sight; and since I don’t know what they are, I can’t fight against them. I almost wish you were a bit more basic, Harry; honestly, I do! Or rather, I wish I could benefit from the advantages that kind of nature would give me and still have you just the way you are.”
“What advantages would they be?”
"What benefits would they have?"
“Less anxiety, and more security. Ordinary men are not so delicate in their tastes as you; and where the lover or husband is not fastidious, and refined, and of a deep nature, things seem to go on better, I fancy—as far as I have been able to observe the world.”
“Less anxiety and more security. Regular folks aren’t as picky as you; when a lover or husband isn’t fussy, refined, or overly emotional, things tend to run more smoothly, I think—at least from what I’ve seen of the world.”
“Yes; I suppose it is right. Shallowness has this advantage, that you can’t be drowned there.”
“Yes; I guess that's true. The good thing about being shallow is that you can’t drown in it.”
“But I think I’ll have you as you are; yes, I will!” she said winsomely. “The practical husbands and wives who take things philosophically are very humdrum, are they not? Yes, it would kill me quite. You please me best as you are.”
“But I think I’ll take you just the way you are; yes, I will!” she said charmingly. “The practical husbands and wives who approach life with a philosophical attitude are so boring, don’t you think? Yes, it would completely drain me. I like you best just as you are.”
“Even though I wish you had never cared for one before me?”
“Even though I wish you had never liked anyone before me?”
“Yes. And you must not wish it. Don’t!”
“Yes. And you shouldn’t want it. Don’t!”
“I’ll try not to, Elfride.”
"I'll try not to, Elfride."
So she hoped, but her heart was troubled. If he felt so deeply on this point, what would he say did he know all, and see it as Mrs. Jethway saw it? He would never make her the happiest girl in the world by taking her to be his own for aye. The thought enclosed her as a tomb whenever it presented itself to her perturbed brain. She tried to believe that Mrs. Jethway would never do her such a cruel wrong as to increase the bad appearance of her folly by innuendoes; and concluded that concealment, having been begun, must be persisted in, if possible. For what he might consider as bad as the fact, was her previous concealment of it by strategy.
So she hoped, but her heart was heavy. If he felt so strongly about this, what would he say if he knew everything and saw it the way Mrs. Jethway did? He would never make her the happiest girl in the world by choosing her as his own forever. The thought trapped her like a coffin whenever it surfaced in her troubled mind. She tried to convince herself that Mrs. Jethway wouldn’t be so cruel as to make her foolishness look worse with hints and suggestions; and she concluded that since she had already started hiding it, she had to keep it under wraps if she could. Because what he might see as just as bad as the truth was her earlier concealment of it through deception.
But Elfride knew Mrs. Jethway to be her enemy, and to hate her. It was possible she would do her worst. And should she do it, all might be over.
But Elfride knew that Mrs. Jethway was her enemy and hated her. It was possible she would do her worst. And if she did, everything might be over.
Would the woman listen to reason, and be persuaded not to ruin one who had never intentionally harmed her?
Would the woman listen to reason and be convinced not to destroy someone who had never meant her any harm?
It was night in the valley between Endelstow Crags and the shore. The brook which trickled that way to the sea was distinct in its murmurs now, and over the line of its course there began to hang a white riband of fog. Against the sky, on the left hand of the vale, the black form of the church could be seen. On the other rose hazel-bushes, a few trees, and where these were absent, furze tufts—as tall as men—on stems nearly as stout as timber. The shriek of some bird was occasionally heard, as it flew terror-stricken from its first roost, to seek a new sleeping-place, where it might pass the night unmolested.
It was nighttime in the valley between Endelstow Crags and the shore. The stream that flowed toward the sea was audible as it gurgled, and a white ribbon of fog began to settle along its path. Against the sky, on the left side of the valley, the dark silhouette of the church was visible. On the other side were hazel bushes, a few trees, and where there were none, tufts of gorse as tall as people, on stems almost as thick as timber. The scream of a bird would occasionally be heard as it flew away in panic from its first roost, searching for a new place to sleep where it could spend the night undisturbed.
In the evening shade, some way down the valley, and under a row of scrubby oaks, a cottage could still be discerned. It stood absolutely alone. The house was rather large, and the windows of some of the rooms were nailed up with boards on the outside, which gave a particularly deserted appearance to the whole erection. From the front door an irregular series of rough and misshapen steps, cut in the solid rock, led down to the edge of the streamlet, which, at their extremity, was hollowed into a basin through which the water trickled. This was evidently the means of water supply to the dweller or dwellers in the cottage.
In the evening shade, further down the valley, beneath a row of scraggly oak trees, a cottage could still be seen. It stood completely alone. The house was fairly large, and some of the windows were boarded up from the outside, giving the entire place a particularly abandoned look. From the front door, a rough and uneven set of steps, carved into the solid rock, led down to the edge of a small stream, which, at the end of the steps, formed a basin where the water flowed. This was clearly the water source for the person or people living in the cottage.
A light footstep was heard descending from the higher slopes of the hillside. Indistinct in the pathway appeared a moving female shape, who advanced and knocked timidly at the door. No answer being returned the knock was repeated, with the same result, and it was then repeated a third time. This also was unsuccessful.
A light footstep was heard coming down from the higher slopes of the hill. A faint figure of a woman appeared on the path, and she approached and knocked timidly at the door. When there was no answer, she knocked again, with the same result, and then she knocked a third time. This, too, was unsuccessful.
From one of the only two windows on the ground floor which were not boarded up came rays of light, no shutter or curtain obscuring the room from the eyes of a passer on the outside. So few walked that way after nightfall that any such means to secure secrecy were probably deemed unnecessary.
From one of the only two windows on the ground floor that weren’t boarded up, rays of light streamed in, with no shutters or curtains blocking the view from anyone passing by outside. So few people walked that way after dark that any effort to keep things private was probably considered pointless.
The inequality of the rays falling upon the trees outside told that the light had its origin in a flickering fire only. The visitor, after the third knocking, stepped a little to the left in order to gain a view of the interior, and threw back the hood from her face. The dancing yellow sheen revealed the fair and anxious countenance of Elfride.
The uneven rays of light hitting the trees outside indicated that the light was coming from a flickering fire. After knocking three times, the visitor stepped slightly to the left to get a glimpse inside and pulled back the hood from her face. The dancing yellow glow illuminated the pretty but worried face of Elfride.
Inside the house this firelight was enough to illumine the room distinctly, and to show that the furniture of the cottage was superior to what might have been expected from so unpromising an exterior. It also showed to Elfride that the room was empty. Beyond the light quiver and flap of the flames nothing moved or was audible therein.
Inside the house, the firelight was sufficient to clearly light up the room and reveal that the furniture in the cottage was better than what one might expect from such a plain-looking exterior. It also made Elfride realize that the room was empty. Besides the flicker and crackle of the flames, nothing else moved or made a sound.
She turned the handle and entered, throwing off the cloak which enveloped her, under which she appeared without hat or bonnet, and in the sort of half-toilette country people ordinarily dine in. Then advancing to the foot of the staircase she called distinctly, but somewhat fearfully, “Mrs. Jethway!”
She turned the handle and walked in, shedding the cloak that wrapped around her, revealing that she wasn’t wearing a hat or bonnet, dressed in the kind of casual outfit people usually wear for dinner in the country. Then, stepping up to the bottom of the staircase, she called out clearly, but a bit nervously, “Mrs. Jethway!”
No answer.
No response.
With a look of relief and regret combined, denoting that ease came to the heart and disappointment to the brain, Elfride paused for several minutes, as if undecided how to act. Determining to wait, she sat down on a chair. The minutes drew on, and after sitting on the thorns of impatience for half an hour, she searched her pocket, took therefrom a letter, and tore off the blank leaf. Then taking out a pencil she wrote upon the paper:
With a mix of relief and disappointment on her face, showing that her heart felt at ease while her mind was let down, Elfride paused for several minutes, unsure of what to do next. Deciding to wait, she sat down on a chair. The minutes ticked by, and after sitting on the edge of impatience for half an hour, she searched her pocket, pulled out a letter, and tore off the blank page. Then she took out a pencil and wrote on the paper:
“DEAR MRS. JETHWAY,—I have been to visit you. I wanted much to see you, but I cannot wait any longer. I came to beg you not to execute the threats you have repeated to me. Do not, I beseech you, Mrs. Jethway, let any one know I ran away from home! It would ruin me with him, and break my heart. I will do anything for you, if you will be kind to me. In the name of our common womanhood, do not, I implore you, make a scandal of me.—Yours, E. SWANCOURT.”
“DEAR MRS. JETHWAY,—I came to visit you because I really wanted to see you, but I can’t wait any longer. I’m here to ask you not to go through with the threats you’ve mentioned to me. Please, Mrs. Jethway, don’t let anyone know I ran away from home! It would destroy my relationship with him and break my heart. I’ll do anything for you if you’re kind to me. As a fellow woman, I’m begging you, please don’t make a scandal out of this.—Yours, E. SWANCOURT.”
She folded the note cornerwise, directed it, and placed it on the table. Then again drawing the hood over her curly head she emerged silently as she had come.
She folded the note into a triangle, aimed it, and set it on the table. Then, pulling the hood over her curly hair again, she slipped away quietly just as she had arrived.
Whilst this episode had been in action at Mrs. Jethway’s cottage, Knight had gone from the dining-room into the drawing-room, and found Mrs. Swancourt there alone.
While this episode was happening at Mrs. Jethway’s cottage, Knight had left the dining room and entered the drawing room, where he found Mrs. Swancourt alone.
“Elfride has vanished upstairs or somewhere,” she said.
"Elfride has disappeared upstairs or somewhere," she said.
“And I have been reading an article in an old number of the PRESENT that I lighted on by chance a short time ago; it is an article you once told us was yours. Well, Harry, with due deference to your literary powers, allow me to say that this effusion is all nonsense, in my opinion.”
“And I came across an article in an old issue of the PRESENT that I stumbled upon recently; you once mentioned that it was yours. Well, Harry, with all due respect to your writing skills, I have to say that this piece is complete nonsense, in my opinion.”
“What is it about?” said Knight, taking up the paper and reading.
“What’s it about?” Knight asked, picking up the paper and reading it.
“There: don’t get red about it. Own that experience has taught you to be more charitable. I have never read such unchivalrous sentiments in my life—from a man, I mean. There, I forgive you; it was before you knew Elfride.”
"There: don’t get upset about it. Accept that experience has taught you to be more understanding. I have never seen such ungracious feelings in my life—from a man, I mean. There, I forgive you; it was before you knew Elfride."
“Oh yes,” said Knight, looking up. “I remember now. The text of that sermon was not my own at all, but was suggested to me by a young man named Smith—the same whom I have mentioned to you as coming from this parish. I thought the idea rather ingenious at the time, and enlarged it to the weight of a few guineas, because I had nothing else in my head.”
“Oh yes,” said Knight, looking up. “I remember now. The content of that sermon wasn’t my own at all; it was suggested to me by a young man named Smith—the same one I mentioned to you who's from this parish. I thought the idea was pretty clever at the time, so I expanded it to be worth a few guineas since I didn’t have anything else in mind.”
“Which idea do you call the text? I am curious to know that.”
“Which idea do you refer to in the text? I'm interested to find out.”
“Well, this,” said Knight, somewhat unwillingly. “That experience teaches, and your sweetheart, no less than your tailor, is necessarily very imperfect in her duties, if you are her first patron: and conversely, the sweetheart who is graceful under the initial kiss must be supposed to have had some practice in the trade.”
“Well, this,” Knight said, somewhat hesitantly. “Experience teaches that your partner, just like your tailor, is bound to be quite imperfect in her skills if you're her first client: and on the flip side, the partner who is graceful during the first kiss must be assumed to have had some practice in the field.”
“And do you mean to say that you wrote that upon the strength of another man’s remark, without having tested it by practice?”
“And are you saying that you wrote that based on someone else’s comment, without trying it out yourself?”
“Yes—indeed I do.”
"Yes, I definitely do."
“Then I think it was uncalled for and unfair. And how do you know it is true? I expect you regret it now.”
“Then I think it was unnecessary and unfair. And how do you know it's true? I expect you regret it now.”
“Since you bring me into a serious mood, I will speak candidly. I do believe that remark to be perfectly true, and, having written it, I would defend it anywhere. But I do often regret having ever written it, as well as others of the sort. I have grown older since, and I find such a tone of writing is calculated to do harm in the world. Every literary Jack becomes a gentleman if he can only pen a few indifferent satires upon womankind: women themselves, too, have taken to the trick; and so, upon the whole, I begin to be rather ashamed of my companions.”
“Since you're putting me in a serious mood, I'll be honest. I really do think that remark is absolutely true, and I'd stand by it anywhere. But I often regret writing it, along with others like it. I've gotten older, and I see that writing in that way can actually do damage in the world. Any guy with a pen can become a gentleman if he throws out a few mediocre jokes about women; even women have started doing the same. Overall, I'm starting to feel a bit embarrassed about my peers.”
“Ah, Henry, you have fallen in love since and it makes a difference,” said Mrs. Swancourt with a faint tone of banter.
“Ah, Henry, you’ve fallen in love since then, and it makes a difference,” said Mrs. Swancourt with a hint of teasing.
“That’s true; but that is not my reason.”
"That’s true, but that’s not why I said it."
“Having found that, in a case of your own experience, a so-called goose was a swan, it seems absurd to deny such a possibility in other men’s experiences.”
“Having discovered that, in a situation you experienced, a so-called goose was actually a swan, it seems ridiculous to deny that possibility in other people's experiences.”
“You can hit palpably, cousin Charlotte,” said Knight. “You are like the boy who puts a stone inside his snowball, and I shall play with you no longer. Excuse me—I am going for my evening stroll.”
“You can really hurt, cousin Charlotte,” said Knight. “You're like the kid who hides a rock in his snowball, and I won't play with you anymore. Excuse me—I’m going for my evening walk.”
Though Knight had spoken jestingly, this incident and conversation had caused him a sudden depression. Coming, rather singularly, just after his discovery that Elfride had known what it was to love warmly before she had known him, his mind dwelt upon the subject, and the familiar pipe he smoked, whilst pacing up and down the shrubbery-path, failed to be a solace. He thought again of those idle words—hitherto quite forgotten—about the first kiss of a girl, and the theory seemed more than reasonable. Of course their sting now lay in their bearing on Elfride.
Though Knight had jokingly spoken, this incident and conversation had suddenly brought him down. It felt particularly timely right after he discovered that Elfride had experienced a deep love before she met him. His thoughts lingered on this, and the familiar pipe he smoked as he walked back and forth along the shrubbery path didn’t provide any comfort. He thought again about those careless words—previously completely forgotten—about a girl's first kiss, and the idea started to seem more than reasonable. The sting of those words, of course, was more intense now because of how they related to Elfride.
Elfride, under Knight’s kiss, had certainly been a very different woman from herself under Stephen’s. Whether for good or for ill, she had marvellously well learnt a betrothed lady’s part; and the fascinating finish of her deportment in this second campaign did probably arise from her unreserved encouragement of Stephen. Knight, with all the rapidity of jealous sensitiveness, pounced upon some words she had inadvertently let fall about an earring, which he had only partially understood at the time. It was during that “initial kiss” by the little waterfall:
Elfride, under Knight's kiss, had definitely been a very different woman compared to how she was with Stephen. Whether for better or worse, she had remarkably mastered the role of a betrothed lady; and the captivating way she carried herself in this second situation likely stemmed from her open support of Stephen. Knight, fueled by his jealous sensitivity, quickly latched on to some words she had unintentionally mentioned about an earring, which he had only partially grasped at the moment. This was during that “initial kiss” by the small waterfall:
“We must be careful. I lost the other by doing this!”
“We need to be careful. I lost the other one by doing this!”
A flush which had in it as much of wounded pride as of sorrow, passed over Knight as he thought of what he had so frequently said to her in his simplicity. “I always meant to be the first comer in a woman’s heart, fresh lips or none for me.” How childishly blind he must have seemed to this mere girl! How she must have laughed at him inwardly! He absolutely writhed as he thought of the confession she had wrung from him on the boat in the darkness of night. The one conception which had sustained his dignity when drawn out of his shell on that occasion—that of her charming ignorance of all such matters—how absurd it was!
A rush of wounded pride mixed with sadness washed over Knight as he remembered what he had often told her in his innocent way. "I always wanted to be the first man in a woman's heart; fresh lips or none for me." How naively blind he must have appeared to this young girl! She must have secretly laughed at him! He squirmed at the thought of the confession she had gotten out of him on the boat in the dark. The one idea that had kept his dignity intact when he stepped outside his comfort zone that night—that she was charmingly unaware of such things—how ridiculous it was!
This man, whose imagination had been fed up to preternatural size by lonely study and silent observations of his kind—whose emotions had been drawn out long and delicate by his seclusion, like plants in a cellar—was now absolutely in pain. Moreover, several years of poetic study, and, if the truth must be told, poetic efforts, had tended to develop the affective side of his constitution still further, in proportion to his active faculties. It was his belief in the absolute newness of blandishment to Elfride which had constituted her primary charm. He began to think it was as hard to be earliest in a woman’s heart as it was to be first in the Pool of Bethesda.
This man, whose imagination had grown to an unnatural size due to hours of solitude and quiet observations of people—whose emotions had been stretched thin and delicate by his isolation, like plants in a dark room—was now in significant pain. Additionally, several years of studying poetry, and, to be honest, trying his hand at writing it, had further heightened his emotional sensitivity compared to his active abilities. He believed that the novelty of his charm for Elfride was what made her so attractive to him. He began to feel that it was just as difficult to be the first in a woman’s heart as it was to be the first in the Pool of Bethesda.
That Knight should have been thus constituted: that Elfride’s second lover should not have been one of the great mass of bustling mankind, little given to introspection, whose good-nature might have compensated for any lack of appreciativeness, was the chance of things. That her throbbing, self-confounding, indiscreet heart should have to defend itself unaided against the keen scrutiny and logical power which Knight, now that his suspicions were awakened, would sooner or later be sure to exercise against her, was her misfortune. A miserable incongruity was apparent in the circumstance of a strong mind practising its unerring archery upon a heart which the owner of that mind loved better than his own.
That Knight should have been who he was: that Elfride’s second lover wouldn't be one of the many busy people, who rarely reflect on themselves, whose good nature might have made up for any lack of appreciation, was just how things turned out. That her beating, confused, and impulsive heart had to fend for itself against the sharp scrutiny and logical reasoning that Knight, now that his suspicions were raised, was bound to use against her was her unfortunate situation. It seemed so wrong that a strong mind was targeting a heart that its owner loved more than his own.
Elfride’s docile devotion to Knight was now its own enemy. Clinging to him so dependently, she taught him in time to presume upon that devotion—a lesson men are not slow to learn. A slight rebelliousness occasionally would have done him no harm, and would have been a world of advantage to her. But she idolized him, and was proud to be his bond-servant.
Elfride’s submissive devotion to Knight had now become a disadvantage. By depending on him so much, she ended up teaching him to take that devotion for granted—a lesson that men often pick up quickly. A little defiance from her now and then wouldn't have hurt him and would have greatly benefited her. But she idolized him and was proud to be his devoted partner.
Chapter XXXI
“A worm i’ the bud.”
“A worm in the bud.”
One day the reviewer said, “Let us go to the cliffs again, Elfride;” and, without consulting her wishes, he moved as if to start at once.
One day the reviewer said, “Let’s go to the cliffs again, Elfride;” and, without asking her what she wanted, he started to go right away.
“The cliff of our dreadful adventure?” she inquired, with a shudder. “Death stares me in the face in the person of that cliff.”
“The cliff of our terrifying adventure?” she asked, shuddering. “Death is staring me in the face with that cliff.”
Nevertheless, so entirely had she sunk her individuality in his that the remark was not uttered as an expostulation, and she immediately prepared to accompany him.
Nevertheless, she had completely lost her sense of self in him that the remark wasn't made as a complaint, and she quickly got ready to go with him.
“No, not that place,” said Knight. “It is ghastly to me, too. That other, I mean; what is its name?—Windy Beak.”
“No, not that place,” said Knight. “It’s awful to me as well. I mean the other one; what’s it called?—Windy Beak.”
Windy Beak was the second cliff in height along that coast, and, as is frequently the case with the natural features of the globe no less than with the intellectual features of men, it enjoyed the reputation of being the first. Moreover, it was the cliff to which Elfride had ridden with Stephen Smith, on a well-remembered morning of his summer visit.
Windy Beak was the second-tallest cliff along that coast, and, as often happens with natural landmarks just like with people's intelligence, it had the reputation of being the tallest. Plus, it was the cliff where Elfride had gone with Stephen Smith on a memorable morning during his summer visit.
So, though thought of the former cliff had caused her to shudder at the perils to which her lover and herself had there been exposed, by being associated with Knight only it was not so objectionable as Windy Beak. That place was worse than gloomy, it was a perpetual reproach to her.
So, even though the memory of the previous cliff made her shudder at the dangers her lover and she had faced there, being associated with Knight wasn't as bad as Windy Beak. That place was more than just depressing; it was a constant reminder of her failures.
But not liking to refuse, she said, “It is further than the other cliff.”
But not wanting to say no, she said, “It’s farther than the other cliff.”
“Yes; but you can ride.”
"Yes, but you can ride."
“And will you too?”
"And you too?"
“No, I’ll walk.”
“No, I’ll walk there.”
A duplicate of her original arrangement with Stephen. Some fatality must be hanging over her head. But she ceased objecting.
A copy of her original deal with Stephen. There must be some kind of bad luck looming over her. But she stopped complaining.
“Very well, Harry, I’ll ride,” she said meekly.
“Alright, Harry, I’ll ride,” she said softly.
A quarter of an hour later she was in the saddle. But how different the mood from that of the former time. She had, indeed, given up her position as queen of the less to be vassal of the greater. Here was no showing off now; no scampering out of sight with Pansy, to perplex and tire her companion; no saucy remarks on LA BELLE DAME SANS MERCI. Elfride was burdened with the very intensity of her love.
A quarter of an hour later, she was in the saddle. But the mood was so different from before. She had, in fact, given up her role as the queen of the lesser to become a servant of the greater. There was no more showing off; no rushing away with Pansy to confuse and exhaust her companion; no cheeky comments about LA BELLE DAME SANS MERCI. Elfride was weighed down by the deep intensity of her love.
Knight did most of the talking along the journey. Elfride silently listened, and entirely resigned herself to the motions of the ambling horse upon which she sat, alternately rising and sinking gently, like a sea bird upon a sea wave.
Knight did most of the talking during the journey. Elfride quietly listened and fully surrendered to the gentle movements of the slow horse she was riding, rising and falling softly, like a seabird on a wave.
When they had reached the limit of a quadruped’s possibilities in walking, Knight tenderly lifted her from the saddle, tied the horse, and rambled on with her to the seat in the rock. Knight sat down, and drew Elfride deftly beside him, and they looked over the sea.
When they had reached the limit of what a four-legged animal could walk, Knight gently lifted her from the saddle, tied up the horse, and strolled with her to the rock seat. Knight sat down and skillfully pulled Elfride beside him, and they gazed out over the sea.
Two or three degrees above that melancholy and eternally level line, the ocean horizon, hung a sun of brass, with no visible rays, in a sky of ashen hue. It was a sky the sun did not illuminate or enkindle, as is usual at sunsets. This sheet of sky was met by the salt mass of gray water, flecked here and there with white. A waft of dampness occasionally rose to their faces, which was probably rarefied spray from the blows of the sea upon the foot of the cliff.
Two or three degrees above that sad and endlessly flat line of the ocean horizon, there hung a brass sun with no visible rays in a sky shaded in gray. This sky wasn't lit up or warmed by the sun like it usually is at sunset. The expanse of sky met the salty mass of gray water, dotted here and there with white. Every now and then, a hint of dampness rose to their faces, likely coming from the spray created by the waves crashing against the foot of the cliff.
Elfride wished it could be a longer time ago that she had sat there with Stephen as her lover, and agreed to be his wife. The significant closeness of that time to the present was another item to add to the list of passionate fears which were chronic with her now.
Elfride wished it could be longer ago when she had sat there with Stephen as her boyfriend and agreed to be his wife. The fact that this time was so close to the present was just another thing to add to the list of intense fears that were always with her now.
Yet Knight was very tender this evening, and sustained her close to him as they sat.
Yet Knight was very gentle this evening and held her close as they sat together.
Not a word had been uttered by either since sitting down, when Knight said musingly, looking still afar—
Not a word had been spoken by either since they sat down, when Knight said thoughtfully, still gazing into the distance—
“I wonder if any lovers in past years ever sat here with arms locked, as we do now. Probably they have, for the place seems formed for a seat.”
“I wonder if any couples in the past ever sat here with their arms wrapped around each other like we are now. They probably did, because this spot feels perfect for relaxing.”
Her recollection of a well-known pair who had, and the much-talked-of loss which had ensued therefrom, and how the young man had been sent back to look for the missing article, led Elfride to glance down to her side, and behind her back. Many people who lose a trinket involuntarily give a momentary look for it in passing the spot ever so long afterwards. They do not often find it. Elfride, in turning her head, saw something shine weakly from a crevice in the rocky sedile. Only for a few minutes during the day did the sun light the alcove to its innermost rifts and slits, but these were the minutes now, and its level rays did Elfride the good or evil turn of revealing the lost ornament.
Her memory of a well-known couple and the much-discussed loss that followed, along with how the young man had been sent back to search for the missing item, made Elfride glance down to her side and behind her. Many people who lose a piece of jewelry instinctively take a quick look for it when passing the spot, even long after. They don’t usually find it. As Elfride turned her head, she noticed something shining faintly from a crack in the rocky seat. The sun only illuminated the alcove's deepest crevices for a few minutes during the day, but these were those moments, and its direct rays revealed the lost ornament to Elfride.
Elfride’s thoughts instantly reverted to the words she had unintentionally uttered upon what had been going on when the earring was lost. And she was immediately seized with a misgiving that Knight, on seeing the object, would be reminded of her words. Her instinctive act therefore was to secure it privately.
Elfride's thoughts immediately went back to the words she had accidentally said about what had happened when the earring was lost. She suddenly felt a worry that Knight, upon seeing the earring, would remember her words. So, her instinctive reaction was to hide it away.
It was so deep in the crack that Elfride could not pull it out with her hand, though she made several surreptitious trials.
It was so deep in the crack that Elfride couldn't pull it out with her hand, even though she made several secret attempts.
“What are you doing, Elfie?” said Knight, noticing her attempts, and looking behind him likewise.
“What are you doing, Elfie?” Knight asked, noticing her efforts and glancing behind him as well.
She had relinquished the endeavour, but too late.
She had given up the effort, but it was too late.
Knight peered into the joint from which her hand had been withdrawn, and saw what she had seen. He instantly took a penknife from his pocket, and by dint of probing and scraping brought the earring out upon open ground.
Knight looked into the space where her hand had been, and saw what she had seen. He quickly took a penknife from his pocket, and by probing and scraping, he managed to get the earring out into the open.
“It is not yours, surely?” he inquired.
“It’s not yours, is it?” he asked.
“Yes, it is,” she said quietly.
“Yes, it is,” she said softly.
“Well, that is a most extraordinary thing, that we should find it like this!” Knight then remembered more circumstances; “What, is it the one you have told me of?”
“Well, that's quite extraordinary that we should find it like this!” Knight then recalled more details; “Wait, is it the one you mentioned to me?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
The unfortunate remark of hers at the kiss came into his mind, if eyes were ever an index to be trusted. Trying to repress the words he yet spoke on the subject, more to obtain assurance that what it had seemed to imply was not true than from a wish to pry into bygones.
The unfortunate comment she made during the kiss flashed into his mind, if eyes were ever a reliable indicator. He tried to hold back his thoughts, yet he spoke about it, more to confirm that what it seemed to imply wasn’t true than out of a desire to dig into the past.
“Were you really engaged to be married to that lover?” he said, looking straight forward at the sea again.
“Were you really engaged to that lover?” he asked, looking straight ahead at the sea again.
“Yes—but not exactly. Yet I think I was.”
“Yeah—but not exactly. Still, I think I was.”
“O Elfride, engaged to be married!” he murmured.
“O Elfride, you're engaged to be married!” he murmured.
“It would have been called a—secret engagement, I suppose. But don’t look so disappointed; don’t blame me.”
“It would have been called a—secret engagement, I guess. But don’t look so disappointed; don’t blame me.”
“No, no.”
“Nope.”
“Why do you say ‘No, no,’ in such a way? Sweetly enough, but so barely?”
“Why do you say ‘No, no,’ like that? It sounds sweet, but just a little?”
Knight made no direct reply to this. “Elfride, I told you once,” he said, following out his thoughts, “that I never kissed a woman as a sweetheart until I kissed you. A kiss is not much, I suppose, and it happens to few young people to be able to avoid all blandishments and attentions except from the one they afterwards marry. But I have peculiar weaknesses, Elfride; and because I have led a peculiar life, I must suffer for it, I suppose. I had hoped—well, what I had no right to hope in connection with you. You naturally granted your former lover the privileges you grant me.”
Knight didn’t respond directly. “Elfride, I told you before,” he continued, following his thoughts, “that I never kissed a woman as a romantic partner until I kissed you. A kiss isn’t a big deal, I guess, and not many young people manage to avoid all the flattery and attention except from the person they eventually marry. But I have my quirks, Elfride; and because I’ve lived an unusual life, I suppose I have to deal with the consequences. I had hoped—well, I had no right to hope for anything regarding you. You naturally gave your previous lover the same privileges you give me.”
A “yes” came from her like the last sad whisper of a breeze.
A “yes” came from her like the final soft sigh of a breeze.
“And he used to kiss you—of course he did.”
“And he used to kiss you—of course he did.”
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
“And perhaps you allowed him a more free manner in his love-making than I have shown in mine.”
“And maybe you let him be more casual in his flirting than I have been in mine.”
“No, I did not.” This was rather more alertly spoken.
“No, I didn’t.” This was said with a bit more awareness.
“But he adopted it without being allowed?”
“But he took it in without permission?”
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“How much I have made of you, Elfride, and how I have kept aloof!” said Knight in deep and shaken tones. “So many days and hours as I have hoped in you—I have feared to kiss you more than those two times. And he made no scruples to...”
“How much I’ve done for you, Elfride, and how I’ve kept my distance!” said Knight in a deep, shaken voice. “So many days and hours I’ve hoped for you—I’ve been afraid to kiss you more than those two times. And he didn’t hesitate to...”
She crept closer to him and trembled as if with cold. Her dread that the whole story, with random additions, would become known to him, caused her manner to be so agitated that Knight was alarmed and perplexed into stillness. The actual innocence which made her think so fearfully of what, as the world goes, was not a great matter, magnified her apparent guilt. It may have said to Knight that a woman who was so flurried in the preliminaries must have a dreadful sequel to her tale.
She moved closer to him and shook as if she were cold. Her fear that the entire story, with all its random details, would be revealed to him made her behave so nervously that Knight felt alarmed and confused into silence. The genuine innocence that led her to worry so much about what, in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t a big deal, only highlighted her seeming guilt. It might have suggested to Knight that a woman who was so flustered at the beginning must have a terrible ending to her story.
“I know,” continued Knight, with an indescribable drag of manner and intonation,—“I know I am absurdly scrupulous about you—that I want you too exclusively mine. In your past before you knew me—from your very cradle—I wanted to think you had been mine. I would make you mine by main force. Elfride,” he went on vehemently, “I can’t help this jealousy over you! It is my nature, and must be so, and I HATE the fact that you have been caressed before: yes hate it!”
“I know,” continued Knight, with an indescribable tone and vibe, “I know I’m being ridiculously possessive about you—that I want you all to myself. In your past, before you met me—from the very beginning—I wanted to believe you had been mine. I would make you mine by any means necessary. Elfride,” he said passionately, “I can’t control this jealousy over you! It’s just who I am, and I HATE that you’ve been loved by someone else: yes, I hate it!”
She drew a long deep breath, which was half a sob. Knight’s face was hard, and he never looked at her at all, still fixing his gaze far out to sea, which the sun had now resigned to the shade. In high places it is not long from sunset to night, dusk being in a measure banished, and though only evening where they sat, it had been twilight in the valleys for half an hour. Upon the dull expanse of sea there gradually intensified itself into existence the gleam of a distant light-ship.
She took a deep breath, which was almost a sob. Knight's face was stern, and he didn't look at her at all, still staring far out at the sea, which the sun had now surrendered to the shade. In high places, it doesn't take long for sunset to turn into night; twilight is somewhat chased away, and even though it was still evening where they were sitting, it had been dusk in the valleys for half an hour. On the dull stretch of sea, a distant lightship gradually became visible.
“When that lover first kissed you, Elfride was it in such a place as this?”
“When that lover first kissed you, Elfride, was it in a place like this?”
“Yes, it was.”
“Yeah, it was.”
“You don’t tell me anything but what I wring out of you. Why is that? Why have you suppressed all mention of this when casual confidences of mine should have suggested confidence in return? On board the Juliet, why were you so secret? It seems like being made a fool of, Elfride, to think that, when I was teaching you how desirable it was that we should have no secrets from each other, you were assenting in words, but in act contradicting me. Confidence would have been so much more promising for our happiness. If you had had confidence in me, and told me willingly, I should—be different. But you suppress everything, and I shall question you. Did you live at Endelstow at that time?”
“You only tell me what I manage to get out of you. Why is that? Why have you held back all mention of this when my casual sharing should have encouraged you to share back? On board the Juliet, why were you so secretive? It feels foolish, Elfride, to think that while I was explaining how important it was for us not to keep secrets from each other, you were agreeing with your words but contradicting me with your actions. Being open would have been so much better for our happiness. If you had trusted me and shared willingly, I would have been different. But you keep everything to yourself, and I will have to ask you. Did you live at Endelstow at that time?”
“Yes,” she said faintly.
“Yes,” she said softly.
“Where were you when he first kissed you?”
“Where were you when he kissed you for the first time?”
“Sitting in this seat.”
"Sitting in this chair."
“Ah, I thought so!” said Knight, rising and facing her.
“Ah, I knew it!” said Knight, standing up and looking at her.
“And that accounts for everything—the exclamation which you explained deceitfully, and all! Forgive the harsh word, Elfride—forgive it.” He smiled a surface smile as he continued: “What a poor mortal I am to play second fiddle in everything and to be deluded by fibs!”
“And that explains everything—the exclamation you deceitfully explained, and all! Forgive the harsh word, Elfride—forgive me.” He smiled a superficial smile as he continued: “What a poor mortal I am to play second fiddle in everything and be fooled by lies!”
“Oh, don’t say it; don’t, Harry!”
“Oh, please don’t say it; don’t, Harry!”
“Where did he kiss you besides here?”
“Where else did he kiss you besides here?”
“Sitting on—a tomb in the—churchyard—and other places,” she answered with slow recklessness.
“Sitting on a tomb in the churchyard and other places,” she replied with a slow, careless attitude.
“Never mind, never mind,” he exclaimed, on seeing her tears and perturbation. “I don’t want to grieve you. I don’t care.”
“It's okay, it's okay,” he said, noticing her tears and distress. “I don’t want to upset you. It doesn’t matter to me.”
But Knight did care.
But Knight did care.
“It makes no difference, you know,” he continued, seeing she did not reply.
“It doesn’t matter, you know,” he continued, noticing she didn’t respond.
“I feel cold,” said Elfride. “Shall we go home?”
“I’m cold,” said Elfride. “Should we head home?”
“Yes; it is late in the year to sit long out of doors: we ought to be off this ledge before it gets too dark to let us see our footing. I daresay the horse is impatient.”
“Yes; it’s late in the year to be sitting outside for too long: we should leave this ledge before it gets too dark to see where we’re stepping. I bet the horse is getting restless.”
Knight spoke the merest commonplace to her now. He had hoped to the last moment that she would have volunteered the whole story of her first attachment. It grew more and more distasteful to him that she should have a secret of this nature. Such entire confidence as he had pictured as about to exist between himself and the innocent young wife who had known no lover’s tones save his—was this its beginning? He lifted her upon the horse, and they went along constrainedly. The poison of suspicion was doing its work well.
Knight now spoke the simplest things to her. He had held out hope until the last minute that she would share the entire story of her first love. It became increasingly uncomfortable for him that she had such a secret. The total trust he had imagined would exist between him and the innocent young wife, who had only experienced romantic words from him—was this how it all started? He helped her onto the horse, and they rode in an awkward silence. The toxic effects of suspicion were taking hold.
An incident occurred on this homeward journey which was long remembered by both, as adding shade to shadow. Knight could not keep from his mind the words of Adam’s reproach to Eve in PARADISE LOST, and at last whispered them to himself—
An event happened on this journey back home that both would remember for a long time as something that added darkness to their mood. Knight couldn't shake off the words of Adam's criticism of Eve in PARADISE LOST and eventually whispered them to himself—
“Fool’d and beguiled: by him thou, I by thee!”
“Fooled and deceived: you by him, I by you!”
“What did you say?” Elfride inquired timorously.
“What did you say?” Elfride asked nervously.
“It was only a quotation.”
“It was just a quote.”
They had now dropped into a hollow, and the church tower made its appearance against the pale evening sky, its lower part being hidden by some intervening trees. Elfride, being denied an answer, was looking at the tower and trying to think of some contrasting quotation she might use to regain his tenderness. After a little thought she said in winning tones—
They had now entered a dip in the landscape, and the church tower emerged against the fading evening sky, its lower part obscured by some nearby trees. Elfride, not getting a response, stared at the tower while trying to think of a contrasting quote she could use to win back his affection. After a moment of thought, she said with a charming tone—
‘Thou hast been my hope, and a strong tower for me against the enemy.’”
‘You have been my hope and a strong tower for me against the enemy.’”
They passed on. A few minutes later three or four birds were seen to fly out of the tower.
They moved on. A few minutes later, three or four birds were spotted flying out of the tower.
“The strong tower moves,” said Knight, with surprise.
“The strong tower is moving,” said Knight, surprised.
A corner of the square mass swayed forward, sank, and vanished. A loud rumble followed, and a cloud of dust arose where all had previously been so clear.
A corner of the square mass leaned forward, dipped down, and disappeared. A loud rumble echoed, and a cloud of dust rose up where everything had once been so clear.
“The church restorers have done it!” said Elfride.
“The church restorers have done it!” Elfride exclaimed.
At this minute Mr. Swancourt was seen approaching them. He came up with a bustling demeanour, apparently much engrossed by some business in hand.
At this moment, Mr. Swancourt was seen walking toward them. He approached with a busy demeanor, clearly absorbed in some ongoing task.
“We have got the tower down!” he exclaimed. “It came rather quicker than we intended it should. The first idea was to take it down stone by stone, you know. In doing this the crack widened considerably, and it was not believed safe for the men to stand upon the walls any longer. Then we decided to undermine it, and three men set to work at the weakest corner this afternoon. They had left off for the evening, intending to give the final blow to-morrow morning, and had been home about half an hour, when down it came. A very successful job—a very fine job indeed. But he was a tough old fellow in spite of the crack.” Here Mr. Swancourt wiped from his face the perspiration his excitement had caused him.
“We took the tower down!” he exclaimed. “It happened a lot faster than we expected. At first, we planned to dismantle it stone by stone, you know. But as we did that, the crack widened a lot, and it became unsafe for the workers to stay on the walls any longer. So, we decided to undermine it, and three guys started working on the weakest corner this afternoon. They had just quit for the evening, planning to finish it off tomorrow morning, and it had only been about half an hour since they got home when it suddenly fell. It was a very successful job—a really great job indeed. But it was a tough old thing, even with the crack.” Here Mr. Swancourt wiped the sweat from his face that his excitement had caused.
“Poor old tower!” said Elfride.
“Poor old tower!” Elfride said.
“Yes, I am sorry for it,” said Knight. “It was an interesting piece of antiquity—a local record of local art.”
“Yes, I’m sorry about that,” said Knight. “It was a fascinating piece of history—a local record of local art.”
“Ah, but my dear sir, we shall have a new one, expostulated Mr. Swancourt; “a splendid tower—designed by a first-rate London man—in the newest style of Gothic art, and full of Christian feeling.”
“Ah, but my dear sir, we will have a new one,” Mr. Swancourt insisted; “a magnificent tower—designed by a top-notch London architect—in the latest Gothic style, filled with Christian sentiment.”
“Indeed!” said Knight.
"Definitely!" said Knight.
“Oh yes. Not in the barbarous clumsy architecture of this neighbourhood; you see nothing so rough and pagan anywhere else in England. When the men are gone, I would advise you to go and see the church before anything further is done to it. You can now sit in the chancel, and look down the nave through the west arch, and through that far out to sea. In fact,” said Mr. Swancourt significantly, “if a wedding were performed at the altar to-morrow morning, it might be witnessed from the deck of a ship on a voyage to the South Seas, with a good glass. However, after dinner, when the moon has risen, go up and see for yourselves.”
“Oh yes. Not in the rough, clumsy architecture of this neighborhood; you won't find anything so unrefined and primitive anywhere else in England. Once the men are gone, I suggest you check out the church before any further work is done on it. You can sit in the chancel and look down the nave through the west arch, and from there out to sea. In fact,” Mr. Swancourt said meaningfully, “if a wedding were held at the altar tomorrow morning, it could be seen from the deck of a ship sailing to the South Seas with a good pair of binoculars. Anyway, after dinner, when the moon is up, go take a look for yourselves.”
Knight assented with feverish readiness. He had decided within the last few minutes that he could not rest another night without further talk with Elfride upon the subject which now divided them: he was determined to know all, and relieve his disquiet in some way. Elfride would gladly have escaped further converse alone with him that night, but it seemed inevitable.
Knight agreed eagerly. He had just realized that he couldn't spend another night without talking to Elfride about the issue that was now separating them: he was determined to find out everything and ease his unease somehow. Elfride would have preferred to avoid further conversation with him that night, but it seemed unavoidable.
Just after moonrise they left the house. How little any expectation of the moonlight prospect—which was the ostensible reason of their pilgrimage—had to do with Knight’s real motive in getting the gentle girl again upon his arm, Elfride no less than himself well knew.
Just after the moon rose, they left the house. Both Knight and Elfride were fully aware of how little the anticipation of the moonlit view—supposedly the reason for their outing—had to do with Knight's true motive of having the delicate girl back on his arm.
Chapter XXXII
“Had I wist before I kist”
“Had I known before I kissed”
It was now October, and the night air was chill. After looking to see that she was well wrapped up, Knight took her along the hillside path they had ascended so many times in each other’s company, when doubt was a thing unknown. On reaching the church they found that one side of the tower was, as the vicar had stated, entirely removed, and lying in the shape of rubbish at their feet. The tower on its eastern side still was firm, and might have withstood the shock of storms and the siege of battering years for many a generation even now. They entered by the side-door, went eastward, and sat down by the altar-steps.
It was October now, and the night air was chilly. After making sure she was bundled up warm, Knight took her along the hillside path they had walked so many times together, when uncertainty was something they didn’t know. When they reached the church, they saw that one side of the tower was, as the vicar had said, completely gone and lying in a pile of rubble at their feet. The tower on the eastern side was still standing strong and could have withstood the storms and wear of many years for generations to come. They entered through the side door, went east, and sat down by the steps of the altar.
The heavy arch spanning the junction of tower and nave formed to-night a black frame to a distant misty view, stretching far westward. Just outside the arch came the heap of fallen stones, then a portion of moonlit churchyard, then the wide and convex sea behind. It was a coup-d’oeil which had never been possible since the mediaeval masons first attached the old tower to the older church it dignified, and hence must be supposed to have had an interest apart from that of simple moonlight on ancient wall and sea and shore—any mention of which has by this time, it is to be feared, become one of the cuckoo-cries which are heard but not regarded. Rays of crimson, blue, and purple shone upon the twain from the east window behind them, wherein saints and angels vied with each other in primitive surroundings of landscape and sky, and threw upon the pavement at the sitters’ feet a softer reproduction of the same translucent hues, amid which the shadows of the two living heads of Knight and Elfride were opaque and prominent blots. Presently the moon became covered by a cloud, and the iridescence died away.
The heavy arch between the tower and the nave created a dark frame around a distant, misty view stretching far to the west. Just outside the arch was a pile of fallen stones, then a part of the moonlit churchyard, and behind that, the wide, curved sea. This sight had never been possible since the medieval builders first connected the old tower to the ancient church it enhanced, and so it must have held an interest beyond just the moonlight on old walls, the sea, and the shore—any mention of which has likely, by now, become one of those cliché phrases that are heard but ignored. Rays of crimson, blue, and purple spilled onto them from the east window behind, where saints and angels competed against a backdrop of landscape and sky, casting a softer reflection of those translucent colors on the pavement at the sitters’ feet, where the shadows of the two living figures, Knight and Elfride, were solid and striking. Soon, a cloud covered the moon, and the iridescence faded away.
“There, it is gone!” said Knight. “I’ve been thinking, Elfride, that this place we sit on is where we may hope to kneel together soon. But I am restless and uneasy, and you know why.”
“There, it's gone!” said Knight. “I’ve been thinking, Elfride, that this spot we’re sitting on is where we might hope to kneel together soon. But I feel restless and uneasy, and you know why.”
Before she replied the moonlight returned again, irradiating that portion of churchyard within their view. It brightened the near part first, and against the background which the cloud-shadow had not yet uncovered stood, brightest of all, a white tomb—the tomb of young Jethway.
Before she replied, the moonlight came back, illuminating the part of the churchyard they could see. It lit up the nearby area first, and against the background that the cloud shadow hadn’t revealed yet stood, shining the brightest of all, a white tomb—the tomb of young Jethway.
Knight, still alive on the subject of Elfride’s secret, thought of her words concerning the kiss that it once had occurred on a tomb in this churchyard.
Knight, still thinking about Elfride's secret, recalled her words about the kiss that once happened on a tomb in this churchyard.
“Elfride,” he said, with a superficial archness which did not half cover an undercurrent of reproach, “do you know, I think you might have told me voluntarily about that past—of kisses and betrothing—without giving me so much uneasiness and trouble. Was that the tomb you alluded to as having sat on with him?”
“Elfride,” he said, with a teasing tone that barely hid his underlying disappointment, “you know, I think you could have told me about that past—of kisses and engagements—without causing me so much worry and trouble. Was that the grave you mentioned sitting on with him?”
She waited an instant. “Yes,” she said.
She paused for a moment. “Yeah,” she replied.
The correctness of his random shot startled Knight; though, considering that almost all the other memorials in the churchyard were upright headstones upon which nobody could possibly sit, it was not so wonderful.
The accuracy of his random shot surprised Knight; however, taking into account that almost all the other memorials in the churchyard were standing headstones that no one could actually sit on, it wasn't so surprising.
Elfride did not even now go on with the explanation her exacting lover wished to have, and her reticence began to irritate him as before. He was inclined to read her a lecture.
Elfride still didn’t continue with the explanation her demanding boyfriend wanted, and her silence started to annoy him like before. He felt tempted to give her a lecture.
“Why don’t you tell me all?” he said somewhat indignantly. “Elfride, there is not a single subject upon which I feel more strongly than upon this—that everything ought to be cleared up between two persons before they become husband and wife. See how desirable and wise such a course is, in order to avoid disagreeable contingencies in the form of discoveries afterwards. For, Elfride, a secret of no importance at all may be made the basis of some fatal misunderstanding only because it is discovered, and not confessed. They say there never was a couple of whom one had not some secret the other never knew or was intended to know. This may or may not be true; but if it be true, some have been happy in spite rather than in consequence of it. If a man were to see another man looking significantly at his wife, and she were blushing crimson and appearing startled, do you think he would be so well satisfied with, for instance, her truthful explanation that once, to her great annoyance, she accidentally fainted into his arms, as if she had said it voluntarily long ago, before the circumstance occurred which forced it from her? Suppose that admirer you spoke of in connection with the tomb yonder should turn up, and bother me. It would embitter our lives, if I were then half in the dark, as I am now!”
“Why don’t you tell me everything?” he said somewhat indignantly. “Elfride, there’s nothing I feel more strongly about than this—that everything should be cleared up between two people before they become husband and wife. Just see how desirable and wise that is to avoid unpleasant surprises later on. Because, Elfride, a secret that seems insignificant can turn into a serious misunderstanding just because it’s discovered and not confessed. They say there’s never been a couple where one didn’t have a secret the other never knew or was meant to know. This might be true or not; but if it is, some people have found happiness in spite of it rather than because of it. If a man saw another man looking meaningfully at his wife, and she was blushing bright red and seemed shocked, do you think he would feel satisfied with her honest explanation that she once fainted into his arms, much to her annoyance, instead of having heard it from her long ago before it happened? Imagine if that admirer you mentioned by the tomb over there showed up and bothered me. It would ruin our lives if I were left half in the dark, just like I am now!”
Knight spoke the latter sentences with growing force.
Knight spoke the last sentences with increasing intensity.
“It cannot be,” she said.
“It can't be,” she said.
“Why not?” he asked sharply.
“Why not?” he asked brusquely.
Elfride was distressed to find him in so stern a mood, and she trembled. In a confusion of ideas, probably not intending a wilful prevarication, she answered hurriedly—
Elfride was upset to see him in such a serious mood, and she nervously shook. In a jumble of thoughts, probably not meaning to lie on purpose, she responded quickly—
“If he’s dead, how can you meet him?”
“If he’s dead, how can you see him?”
“Is he dead? Oh, that’s different altogether!” said Knight, immensely relieved. “But, let me see—what did you say about that tomb and him?”
“Is he dead? Oh, that changes everything!” said Knight, feeling extremely relieved. “But, let me think—what did you say about that tomb and him?”
“That’s his tomb,” she continued faintly.
"That's his tomb," she said softly.
“What! was he who lies buried there the man who was your lover?” Knight asked in a distinct voice.
“What! Was the man buried there your lover?” Knight asked in a clear voice.
“Yes; and I didn’t love him or encourage him.”
“Yes; and I didn’t love him or support him.”
“But you let him kiss you—you said so, you know, Elfride.”
“But you let him kiss you—you said that, you know, Elfride.”
She made no reply.
She didn't respond.
“Why,” said Knight, recollecting circumstances by degrees, “you surely said you were in some degree engaged to him—and of course you were if he kissed you. And now you say you never encouraged him. And I have been fancying you said—I am almost sure you did—that you were sitting with him ON that tomb. Good God!” he cried, suddenly starting up in anger, “are you telling me untruths? Why should you play with me like this? I’ll have the right of it. Elfride, we shall never be happy! There’s a blight upon us, or me, or you, and it must be cleared off before we marry.” Knight moved away impetuously as if to leave her.
“Why,” Knight said, slowly piecing everything together, “you definitely mentioned that you were somewhat engaged to him—and you must have been if he kissed you. But now you say you never encouraged him. I’ve been thinking you said—I’m pretty sure you did—that you were sitting with him ON that tomb. Good God!” he exclaimed, suddenly jumping up in anger, “are you lying to me? Why would you mess with my head like this? I need to be right about this. Elfride, we won’t be happy! There’s something wrong with us, or with me, or with you, and it needs to be fixed before we get married.” Knight stepped away impulsively as if he was going to leave her.
She jumped up and clutched his arm
She jumped up and grabbed his arm.
“Don’t go, Harry—don’t!
"Stay, Harry—please don’t!"
“Tell me, then,” said Knight sternly. “And remember this, no more fibs, or, upon my soul, I shall hate you. Heavens! that I should come to this, to be made a fool of by a girl’s untruths——”
“Tell me, then,” Knight said firmly. “And remember, no more lies, or, I swear, I will hate you. Honestly! How did I end up like this, being made a fool by a girl's lies——”
“Don’t, don’t treat me so cruelly! O Harry, Harry, have pity, and withdraw those dreadful words! I am truthful by nature—I am—and I don’t know how I came to make you misunderstand! But I was frightened!” She quivered so in her perturbation that she shook him with her {Note: sentence incomplete in text.}
“Please, don’t be so cruel! Oh Harry, Harry, have mercy, and take back those terrible words! I’m honest by nature—I truly am—and I don’t know how I made you misunderstand! But I was scared!” She trembled so much in her distress that she shook him with her {Note: sentence incomplete in text.}
“Did you say you were sitting on that tomb?” he asked moodily.
“Did you say you were sitting on that grave?” he asked, feeling down.
“Yes; and it was true.”
"Yes, and it was true."
“Then how, in the name of Heaven, can a man sit upon his own tomb?”
“Then how, for crying out loud, can a man sit on his own grave?”
“That was another man. Forgive me, Harry, won’t you?”
"That was a different guy. Please forgive me, Harry, okay?"
“What, a lover in the tomb and a lover on it?”
“What, a lover in the grave and a lover on top of it?”
“Oh—Oh—yes!”
“Oh—Oh—yeah!”
“Then there were two before me?
“Then there were two in front of me?
“I—suppose so.”
"I guess so."
“Now, don’t be a silly woman with your supposing—I hate all that,” said Knight contemptuously almost. “Well, we learn strange things. I don’t know what I might have done—no man can say into what shape circumstances may warp him—but I hardly think I should have had the conscience to accept the favours of a new lover whilst sitting over the poor remains of the old one; upon my soul, I don’t.” Knight, in moody meditation, continued looking towards the tomb, which stood staring them in the face like an avenging ghost.
“Now, don’t be ridiculous with your assumptions—I really can’t stand that,” Knight said almost contemptuously. “Well, we encounter strange things. I don’t know what I might have done—no one can predict how circumstances might change a person—but I hardly think I would have the conscience to accept the favors of a new lover while sitting over the remains of the old one; I truly don’t.” Knight, lost in thought, continued gazing at the tomb, which loomed before them like a vengeful ghost.
“But you wrong me—Oh, so grievously!” she cried. “I did not meditate any such thing: believe me, Harry, I did not. It only happened so—quite of itself.”
“But you’re misjudging me—Oh, so badly!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t plan any of that: believe me, Harry, I didn’t. It just happened—completely on its own.”
“Well, I suppose you didn’t INTEND such a thing,” he said. “Nobody ever does,” he sadly continued.
“Well, I guess you didn’t MEAN to do that,” he said. “Nobody ever does,” he continued, sounding sad.
“And him in the grave I never once loved.”
“And I never once loved him in the grave.”
“I suppose the second lover and you, as you sat there, vowed to be faithful to each other for ever?”
“I guess you and your second lover made a promise to be loyal to each other forever, right?”
Elfride only replied by quick heavy breaths, showing she was on the brink of a sob.
Elfride only responded with quick, heavy breaths, indicating she was about to cry.
“You don’t choose to be anything but reserved, then?” he said imperatively.
“You're not choosing to be anything other than reserved, right?” he said firmly.
“Of course we did,” she responded.
“Of course we did,” she replied.
“‘Of course!’ You seem to treat the subject very lightly?”
“‘Of course!’ You seem to be taking this topic pretty casually?”
“It is past, and is nothing to us now.”
“It’s in the past, and it doesn’t mean anything to us anymore.”
“Elfride, it is a nothing which, though it may make a careless man laugh, cannot but make a genuine one grieve. It is a very gnawing pain. Tell me straight through—all of it.”
“Elfride, this is something that might make a careless person laugh, but it definitely makes a sincere person mourn. It’s a deep, gnawing pain. Just tell me everything—no holding back.”
“Never. O Harry! how can you expect it when so little of it makes you so harsh with me?”
“Never. Oh Harry! How can you expect that when so little of it makes you so harsh with me?”
“Now, Elfride, listen to this. You know that what you have told only jars the subtler fancies in one, after all. The feeling I have about it would be called, and is, mere sentimentality; and I don’t want you to suppose that an ordinary previous engagement of a straightforward kind would make any practical difference in my love, or my wish to make you my wife. But you seem to have more to tell, and that’s where the wrong is. Is there more?”
“Now, Elfride, listen to this. You know that what you’ve shared only stirs the deeper feelings in a person, after all. The way I feel about it might be considered, and is, just sentimentality; and I don’t want you to think that a typical previous engagement of a simple nature would change my love for you or my desire to make you my wife. But it seems like you have more to say, and that’s where the issue lies. Is there more?”
“Not much more,” she wearily answered.
“Not much more,” she replied tiredly.
Knight preserved a grave silence for a minute. “‘Not much more,’” he said at last. “I should think not, indeed!” His voice assumed a low and steady pitch. “Elfride, you must not mind my saying a strange-sounding thing, for say it I shall. It is this: that if there WERE much more to add to an account which already includes all the particulars that a broken marriage engagement could possibly include with propriety, it must be some exceptional thing which might make it impossible for me or any one else to love you and marry you.”
Knight maintained a serious silence for a minute. “‘Not much more,’” he finally said. “I wouldn’t think so, really!” His voice dropped to a calm and steady tone. “Elfride, you shouldn’t take offense at what I’m about to say, because I need to say it. It’s this: if there WERE more to add to a story that already covers everything that a broken engagement could possibly entail, it must be something extraordinary that could make it impossible for me or anyone else to love you and marry you.”
Knight’s disturbed mood led him much further than he would have gone in a quieter moment. And, even as it was, had she been assertive to any degree he would not have been so peremptory; and had she been a stronger character—more practical and less imaginative—she would have made more use of her position in his heart to influence him. But the confiding tenderness which had won him is ever accompanied by a sort of self-committal to the stream of events, leading every such woman to trust more to the kindness of fate for good results than to any argument of her own.
Knight's troubled mood took him much further than he would have gone if he were feeling calmer. Even then, if she had been a bit more assertive, he wouldn't have been so harsh; and if she had been a stronger person—more practical and less dreamy—she could have leveraged her place in his heart to sway him. But the trusting tenderness that had attracted him always comes with a sense of being committed to the flow of events, leading women like her to rely more on fate's kindness for positive outcomes than on their own reasoning.
“Well, well,” he murmured cynically; “I won’t say it is your fault: it is my ill-luck, I suppose. I had no real right to question you—everybody would say it was presuming. But when we have misunderstood, we feel injured by the subject of our misunderstanding. You never said you had had nobody else here making love to you, so why should I blame you? Elfride, I beg your pardon.”
“Well, well,” he said with a hint of sarcasm; “I won’t say it’s your fault: it’s just my bad luck, I guess. I never really had the right to question you—everyone would think that was presumptuous. But when we misunderstand something, we end up feeling hurt by the person we’re misunderstanding. You never mentioned that you had anyone else here making advances toward you, so why should I hold it against you? Elfride, I’m really sorry.”
“No, no! I would rather have your anger than that cool aggrieved politeness. Do drop that, Harry! Why should you inflict that upon me? It reduces me to the level of a mere acquaintance.”
“No, no! I’d rather deal with your anger than that icy, hurtful politeness. Please stop that, Harry! Why should you do that to me? It makes me feel like just a casual acquaintance.”
“You do that with me. Why not confidence for confidence?”
“You do that with me. Why not confidence for confidence?”
“Yes; but I didn’t ask you a single question with regard to your past: I didn’t wish to know about it. All I cared for was that, wherever you came from, whatever you had done, whoever you had loved, you were mine at last. Harry, if originally you had known I had loved, would you never have cared for me?”
“Yes; but I didn’t ask you a single question about your past: I didn’t want to know. All I cared about was that, no matter where you came from, what you had done, or whom you had loved, you were finally mine. Harry, if you had known from the beginning that I loved you, would you have ever cared for me?”
“I won’t quite say that. Though I own that the idea of your inexperienced state had a great charm for me. But I think this: that if I had known there was any phase of your past love you would refuse to reveal if I asked to know it, I should never have loved you.”
“I won’t exactly say that. But I admit the idea of your inexperience was very appealing to me. However, I believe this: if I had known there was any part of your past love that you wouldn’t share if I asked, I would never have fallen for you.”
Elfride sobbed bitterly. “Am I such a—mere characterless toy—as to have no attrac—tion in me, apart from—freshness? Haven’t I brains? You said—I was clever and ingenious in my thoughts, and—isn’t that anything? Have I not some beauty? I think I have a little—and I know I have—yes, I do! You have praised my voice, and my manner, and my accomplishments. Yet all these together are so much rubbish because I—accidentally saw a man before you!”
Elfride cried uncontrollably. “Am I really such a—characterless plaything—that I have no appeal, other than being new? Don’t I have any brains? You said—I was clever and creative in my thinking, and—isn’t that something? Don’t I have some beauty? I think I have a bit—and I know I do—yes, I really do! You’ve complimented my voice, my demeanor, and my skills. Yet all these things together feel worthless because I—happened to see a man before you!”
“Oh, come, Elfride. ‘Accidentally saw a man’ is very cool. You loved him, remember.”
“Oh, come on, Elfride. ‘Accidentally saw a guy’ sounds pretty laid-back. You were into him, remember?”
—“And loved him a little!”
—“And loved him a bit!”
“And refuse now to answer the simple question how it ended. Do you refuse still, Elfride?”
“And are you still refusing to answer the simple question of how it ended? Do you still refuse, Elfride?”
“You have no right to question me so—you said so. It is unfair. Trust me as I trust you.”
“You can’t question me like that—you said so. It’s not fair. Trust me like I trust you.”
“That’s not at all.”
"Not at all."
“I shall not love you if you are so cruel. It is cruel to me to argue like this.”
“I won’t love you if you’re this cruel. It’s hurtful to me to argue like this.”
“Perhaps it is. Yes, it is. I was carried away by my feeling for you. Heaven knows that I didn’t mean to; but I have loved you so that I have used you badly.”
“Maybe it is. Yes, it is. I got swept up in my feelings for you. God knows I didn’t mean to; but I loved you so much that I treated you poorly.”
“I don’t mind it, Harry!” she instantly answered, creeping up and nestling against him; “and I will not think at all that you used me harshly if you will forgive me, and not be vexed with me any more? I do wish I had been exactly as you thought I was, but I could not help it, you know. If I had only known you had been coming, what a nunnery I would have lived in to have been good enough for you!”
“I’m okay with it, Harry!” she quickly replied, coming closer and snuggling against him. “And I won’t think that you treated me badly if you can forgive me and aren’t mad at me anymore? I really wish I had been exactly how you thought I was, but I couldn’t help it, you know. If I had only known you were coming, I would have lived in a convent to be good enough for you!”
“Well, never mind,” said Knight; and he turned to go. He endeavoured to speak sportively as they went on. “Diogenes Laertius says that philosophers used voluntarily to deprive themselves of sight to be uninterrupted in their meditations. Men, becoming lovers, ought to do the same thing.”
“Well, never mind,” said Knight, and he turned to leave. He tried to sound playful as they walked along. “Diogenes Laertius says that philosophers used to blind themselves on purpose to focus better on their thoughts. When men fall in love, they should do the same thing.”
“Why?—but never mind—I don’t want to know. Don’t speak laconically to me,” she said with deprecation.
"Why?—but never mind—I don’t want to know. Don't talk to me in short answers," she said, feeling a bit self-conscious.
“Why? Because they would never then be distracted by discovering their idol was second-hand.”
“Why? Because they would never be distracted by finding out their idol was second-hand.”
She looked down and sighed; and they passed out of the crumbling old place, and slowly crossed to the churchyard entrance. Knight was not himself, and he could not pretend to be. She had not told all.
She looked down and sighed; then they left the crumbling old building and slowly walked to the churchyard entrance. Knight wasn't himself, and he couldn't pretend otherwise. She hadn't revealed everything.
He supported her lightly over the stile, and was practically as attentive as a lover could be. But there had passed away a glory, and the dream was not as it had been of yore. Perhaps Knight was not shaped by Nature for a marrying man. Perhaps his lifelong constraint towards women, which he had attributed to accident, was not chance after all, but the natural result of instinctive acts so minute as to be undiscernible even by himself. Or whether the rough dispelling of any bright illusion, however imaginative, depreciates the real and unexaggerated brightness which appertains to its basis, one cannot say. Certain it was that Knight’s disappointment at finding himself second or third in the field, at Elfride’s momentary equivoque, and at her reluctance to be candid, brought him to the verge of cynicism.
He helped her over the fence gently, being as considerate as a lover could be. But the magic was gone, and the dream was not what it used to be. Maybe Knight just wasn't meant to be a married man. Perhaps his lifelong awkwardness around women, which he thought was just bad luck, was actually a natural result of subtle instincts that were so tiny he didn't even notice them. Or whether the harsh end of any bright fantasy, no matter how imaginative, diminishes the real and straightforward brightness it came from is hard to say. What was clear was that Knight’s disappointment at being second or third in line, at Elfride’s brief uncertainty, and at her hesitation to be honest pushed him close to cynicism.
Chapter XXXIII
“O daughter of Babylon, wasted with misery.”
“O daughter of Babylon, consumed by sorrow.”
A habit of Knight’s, when not immediately occupied with Elfride—to walk by himself for half an hour or so between dinner and bedtime—had become familiar to his friends at Endelstow, Elfride herself among them. When he had helped her over the stile, she said gently, “If you wish to take your usual turn on the hill, Harry, I can run down to the house alone.”
A habit of Knight’s, when he wasn't busy with Elfride—walking alone for about half an hour between dinner and bedtime—had become known to his friends at Endelstow, including Elfride. After helping her over the stile, she said softly, “If you want to take your usual walk on the hill, Harry, I can go back to the house by myself.”
“Thank you, Elfie; then I think I will.”
“Thanks, Elfie; I think I will.”
Her form diminished to blackness in the moonlight, and Knight, after remaining upon the churchyard stile a few minutes longer, turned back again towards the building. His usual course was now to light a cigar or pipe, and indulge in a quiet meditation. But to-night his mind was too tense to bethink itself of such a solace. He merely walked round to the site of the fallen tower, and sat himself down upon some of the large stones which had composed it until this day, when the chain of circumstance originated by Stephen Smith, while in the employ of Mr. Hewby, the London man of art, had brought about its overthrow.
Her figure faded into darkness in the moonlight, and Knight, after staying on the churchyard stile a few minutes longer, turned back toward the building. Usually, he would light a cigar or pipe and enjoy a quiet moment of reflection. But tonight, his mind was too strained for that kind of comfort. He just walked over to the spot where the tower had fallen and sat down on some of the large stones that had made it up until now, when the series of events started by Stephen Smith, while working for Mr. Hewby, the London artist, had caused its collapse.
Pondering on the possible episodes of Elfride’s past life, and on how he had supposed her to have had no past justifying the name, he sat and regarded the white tomb of young Jethway, now close in front of him. The sea, though comparatively placid, could as usual be heard from this point along the whole distance between promontories to the right and left, floundering and entangling itself among the insulated stacks of rock which dotted the water’s edge—the miserable skeletons of tortured old cliffs that would not even yet succumb to the wear and tear of the tides.
Thinking about the possible events from Elfride’s past, and how he had assumed she had no history worthy of the name, he sat and looked at the white tomb of young Jethway, now right in front of him. The sea, although relatively calm, could still be heard from this spot stretching along the whole distance between the headlands to the right and left, crashing and getting tangled among the isolated rock stacks that dotted the shoreline—the sad remnants of tortured old cliffs that still hadn’t given in to the erosion of the tides.
As a change from thoughts not of a very cheerful kind, Knight attempted exertion. He stood up, and prepared to ascend to the summit of the ruinous heap of stones, from which a more extended outlook was obtainable than from the ground. He stretched out his arm to seize the projecting arris of a larger block than ordinary, and so help himself up, when his hand lighted plump upon a substance differing in the greatest possible degree from what he had expected to seize—hard stone. It was stringy and entangled, and trailed upon the stone. The deep shadow from the aisle wall prevented his seeing anything here distinctly, and he began guessing as a necessity. “It is a tressy species of moss or lichen,” he said to himself.
As a break from his not-so-cheerful thoughts, Knight decided to move. He stood up and got ready to climb to the top of the crumbling pile of stones, where he could see further than from the ground. He reached out to grab the edge of a larger block to pull himself up, but his hand unexpectedly landed on something very different from what he was expecting—hard stone. It was stringy and tangled, trailing across the stone. The deep shadow from the aisle wall made it hard for him to see anything clearly, so he started guessing. “It must be some kind of moss or lichen,” he thought to himself.
But it lay loosely over the stone.
But it rested loosely on the stone.
“It is a tuft of grass,” he said.
“It’s a clump of grass,” he said.
But it lacked the roughness and humidity of the finest grass.
But it didn’t have the texture and moisture of the best grass.
“It is a mason’s whitewash-brush.”
“It’s a mason’s whitewash brush.”
Such brushes, he remembered, were more bristly; and however much used in repairing a structure, would not be required in pulling one down.
Such brushes, he remembered, were coarser; and no matter how often they were used to fix something, they weren't needed for taking it apart.
He said, “It must be a thready silk fringe.”
He said, "It has to be a thin silk fringe."
He felt further in. It was somewhat warm. Knight instantly felt somewhat cold.
He felt deeper inside. It was a bit warm. Knight immediately felt a chill.
To find the coldness of inanimate matter where you expect warmth is startling enough; but a colder temperature than that of the body being rather the rule than the exception in common substances, it hardly conveys such a shock to the system as finding warmth where utter frigidity is anticipated.
To discover that inanimate objects are cold when you expect them to be warm is surprising enough; however, since a temperature lower than the body's is more common than not in typical substances, it doesn't have the same jarring effect as encountering warmth in a place where you expect complete coldness.
“God only knows what it is,” he said.
"Only God knows what it is," he said.
He felt further, and in the course of a minute put his hand upon a human head. The head was warm, but motionless. The thready mass was the hair of the head—long and straggling, showing that the head was a woman’s.
He reached out more and within a minute his hand found a human head. The head was warm but still. The tangled mass was the hair—long and unkempt, indicating that the head belonged to a woman.
Knight in his perplexity stood still for a moment, and collected his thoughts. The vicar’s account of the fall of the tower was that the workmen had been undermining it all the day, and had left in the evening intending to give the finishing stroke the next morning. Half an hour after they had gone the undermined angle came down. The woman who was half buried, as it seemed, must have been beneath it at the moment of the fall.
Knight, confused, paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. The vicar explained that the workers had been digging underneath the tower all day and had left in the evening, planning to deliver the final blow the next morning. Half an hour after they left, the weakened corner collapsed. The woman who appeared to be half-buried must have been underneath it when it fell.
Knight leapt up and began endeavouring to remove the rubbish with his hands. The heap overlying the body was for the most part fine and dusty, but in immense quantity. It would be a saving of time to run for assistance. He crossed to the churchyard wall, and hastened down the hill.
Knight jumped up and started trying to clear the debris with his hands. The pile covering the body was mostly fine dust, but there was a huge amount of it. It would save time to go get help. He crossed over to the churchyard wall and hurried down the hill.
A little way down an intersecting road passed over a small ridge, which now showed up darkly against the moon, and this road here formed a kind of notch in the sky-line. At the moment that Knight arrived at the crossing he beheld a man on this eminence, coming towards him. Knight turned aside and met the stranger.
A short distance down a side road that crossed over a small hill, which stood out dark against the moonlight, created a sort of gap in the skyline. At the moment Knight reached the intersection, he saw a man on this rise walking toward him. Knight stepped aside to meet the stranger.
“There has been an accident at the church,” said Knight, without preface. “The tower has fallen on somebody, who has been lying there ever since. Will you come and help?”
“There’s been an accident at the church,” Knight said, getting straight to the point. “The tower fell on someone, and they’ve been lying there ever since. Will you come and help?”
“That I will,” said the man.
“That I will,” said the man.
“It is a woman,” said Knight, as they hurried back, “and I think we two are enough to extricate her. Do you know of a shovel?”
“It’s a woman,” Knight said as they rushed back, “and I think we two can get her out. Do you have a shovel?”
“The grave-digging shovels are about somewhere. They used to stay in the tower.”
“The grave-digging shovels are around somewhere. They used to be kept in the tower.”
“And there must be some belonging to the workmen.”
“And there must be some that belong to the workers.”
They searched about, and in an angle of the porch found three carefully stowed away. Going round to the west end Knight signified the spot of the tragedy.
They looked around, and in a corner of the porch found three neatly hidden away. Heading over to the west end, Knight pointed out the location of the tragedy.
“We ought to have brought a lantern,” he exclaimed. “But we may be able to do without.” He set to work removing the superincumbent mass.
“We should have brought a lantern,” he exclaimed. “But we might be able to manage without one.” He started working to clear away the heavy load.
The other man, who looked on somewhat helplessly at first, now followed the example of Knight’s activity, and removed the larger stones which were mingled with the rubbish. But with all their efforts it was quite ten minutes before the body of the unfortunate creature could be extricated. They lifted her as carefully as they could, breathlessly carried her to Felix Jethway’s tomb, which was only a few steps westward, and laid her thereon.
The other man, who initially watched helplessly, now started to mimic Knight’s actions and cleared away the bigger stones mixed in with the debris. However, despite their combined efforts, it took them nearly ten minutes to free the body of the unfortunate woman. They lifted her as gently as possible, breathlessly carried her to Felix Jethway’s tomb, which was just a few steps to the west, and laid her down on it.
“Is she dead indeed?” said the stranger.
“Is she really dead?” asked the stranger.
“She appears to be,” said Knight. “Which is the nearest house? The vicarage, I suppose.”
“She seems to be,” said Knight. “Which is the closest house? The vicarage, I guess.”
“Yes; but since we shall have to call a surgeon from Castle Boterel, I think it would be better to carry her in that direction, instead of away from the town.”
“Yes; but since we’ll need to call a surgeon from Castle Boterel, I think it would be better to take her that way, instead of away from the town.”
“And is it not much further to the first house we come to going that way, than to the vicarage or to The Crags?”
“And isn't it much further to the first house we reach by going that way than to the vicarage or to The Crags?”
“Not much,” the stranger replied.
“Not much,” the stranger said.
“Suppose we take her there, then. And I think the best way to do it would be thus, if you don’t mind joining hands with me.”
“Let’s take her there, then. I think the best way to do it would be this, if you don’t mind holding hands with me.”
“Not in the least; I am glad to assist.”
“Not at all; I’m happy to help.”
Making a kind of cradle, by clasping their hands crosswise under the inanimate woman, they lifted her, and walked on side by side down a path indicated by the stranger, who appeared to know the locality well.
Making a sort of cradle by crossing their hands under the lifeless woman, they lifted her and walked side by side down a path pointed out by the stranger, who seemed to know the area well.
“I had been sitting in the church for nearly an hour,” Knight resumed, when they were out of the churchyard. “Afterwards I walked round to the site of the fallen tower, and so found her. It is painful to think I unconsciously wasted so much time in the very presence of a perishing, flying soul.”
“I had been sitting in the church for almost an hour,” Knight continued, once they were out of the churchyard. “After that, I walked over to where the tower had fallen, and that’s how I found her. It’s upsetting to realize that I was unknowingly wasting so much time right there next to a soul that was fading away.”
“The tower fell at dusk, did it not? quite two hours ago, I think?”
“The tower fell at dusk, right? About two hours ago, I think?”
“Yes. She must have been there alone. What could have been her object in visiting the churchyard then?
“Yes. She must have been there alone. What could have been her reason for visiting the churchyard then?
“It is difficult to say.” The stranger looked inquiringly into the reclining face of the motionless form they bore. “Would you turn her round for a moment, so that the light shines on her face?” he said.
“It’s hard to say.” The stranger looked questioningly at the relaxed face of the still figure they carried. “Could you turn her around for a moment, so the light hits her face?” he asked.
They turned her face to the moon, and the man looked closer into her features. “Why, I know her!” he exclaimed.
They turned her face to the moon, and the man looked closer at her features. “Wow, I recognize her!” he exclaimed.
“Who is she?”
"Who's she?"
“Mrs. Jethway. And the cottage we are taking her to is her own. She is a widow; and I was speaking to her only this afternoon. I was at Castle Boterel post-office, and she came there to post a letter. Poor soul! Let us hurry on.”
“Mrs. Jethway. And the cottage we’re taking her to is hers. She’s a widow; I spoke to her just this afternoon. I was at the post office in Castle Boterel, and she came there to mail a letter. Poor thing! Let’s hurry up.”
“Hold my wrist a little tighter. Was not that tomb we laid her on the tomb of her only son?”
“Hold my wrist a little tighter. Wasn’t that tomb we laid her on the tomb of her only son?”
“Yes, it was. Yes, I see it now. She was there to visit the tomb. Since the death of that son she has been a desolate, desponding woman, always bewailing him. She was a farmer’s wife, very well educated—a governess originally, I believe.”
“Yes, it was. Yes, I see it now. She was there to visit the grave. Since her son died, she has been a lonely, miserable woman, always mourning him. She was a farmer’s wife, very well educated—she was a governess originally, I think.”
Knight’s heart was moved to sympathy. His own fortunes seemed in some strange way to be interwoven with those of this Jethway family, through the influence of Elfride over himself and the unfortunate son of that house. He made no reply, and they still walked on.
Knight felt a surge of sympathy. His own fate seemed oddly connected to that of the Jethway family, due to Elfride's influence on him and the troubled son of that family. He didn’t say anything, and they kept walking.
“She begins to feel heavy,” said the stranger, breaking the silence.
“She starts to feel weighed down,” said the stranger, breaking the silence.
“Yes, she does,” said Knight; and after another pause added, “I think I have met you before, though where I cannot recollect. May I ask who you are?”
“Yes, she does,” said Knight; and after another pause added, “I think I’ve met you before, but I can’t remember where. Can I ask who you are?”
“Oh yes. I am Lord Luxellian. Who are you?”
“Oh yes. I’m Lord Luxellian. Who are you?”
“I am a visitor at The Crags—Mr. Knight.”
“I’m a visitor at The Crags—Mr. Knight.”
“I have heard of you, Mr. Knight.”
“I've heard of you, Mr. Knight.”
“And I of you, Lord Luxellian. I am glad to meet you.”
“And I am glad to meet you, Lord Luxellian.”
“I may say the same. I am familiar with your name in print.”
“I can say the same. I recognize your name in print.”
“And I with yours. Is this the house?”
“And I with yours. Is this the house?”
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
The door was locked. Knight, reflecting a moment, searched the pocket of the lifeless woman, and found therein a large key which, on being applied to the door, opened it easily. The fire was out, but the moonlight entered the quarried window, and made patterns upon the floor. The rays enabled them to see that the room into which they had entered was pretty well furnished, it being the same room that Elfride had visited alone two or three evenings earlier. They deposited their still burden on an old-fashioned couch which stood against the wall, and Knight searched about for a lamp or candle. He found a candle on a shelf, lighted it, and placed it on the table.
The door was locked. Knight paused for a moment, searched the pocket of the lifeless woman, and found a large key. He used it on the door, and it opened easily. The fire was out, but moonlight came through the window and created patterns on the floor. The light allowed them to see that the room they had entered was fairly well furnished; it was the same room that Elfride had visited alone a couple of evenings earlier. They laid their still burden on an old-fashioned couch against the wall, and Knight looked for a lamp or candle. He found a candle on a shelf, lit it, and placed it on the table.
Both Knight and Lord Luxellian examined the pale countenance attentively, and both were nearly convinced that there was no hope. No marks of violence were visible in the casual examination they made.
Both Knight and Lord Luxellian looked closely at the pale face, and both were almost sure that there was no hope. There were no visible signs of violence in the quick check they did.
“I think that as I know where Doctor Granson lives,” said Lord Luxellian, “I had better run for him whilst you stay here.”
“I think since I know where Doctor Granson lives,” said Lord Luxellian, “I should go get him while you stay here.”
Knight agreed to this. Lord Luxellian then went off, and his hurrying footsteps died away. Knight continued bending over the body, and a few minutes longer of careful scrutiny perfectly satisfied him that the woman was far beyond the reach of the lancet and the drug. Her extremities were already beginning to get stiff and cold. Knight covered her face, and sat down.
Knight agreed to this. Lord Luxellian then left, and his hurried footsteps faded away. Knight kept examining the body, and after a few more minutes of careful inspection, he was completely convinced that the woman was beyond any medical help. Her limbs were already starting to stiffen and feel cold. Knight covered her face and sat down.
The minutes went by. The essayist remained musing on all the occurrences of the night. His eyes were directed upon the table, and he had seen for some time that writing-materials were spread upon it. He now noticed these more particularly: there were an inkstand, pen, blotting-book, and note-paper. Several sheets of paper were thrust aside from the rest, upon which letters had been begun and relinquished, as if their form had not been satisfactory to the writer. A stick of black sealing-wax and seal were there too, as if the ordinary fastening had not been considered sufficiently secure. The abandoned sheets of paper lying as they did open upon the table, made it possible, as he sat, to read the few words written on each. One ran thus:
The minutes passed. The writer kept thinking about everything that had happened that night. His gaze was fixed on the table, and he had noticed for a while that it was covered with writing supplies. He now paid closer attention: there was an inkpot, a pen, a blotter, and some stationery. Several sheets of paper were pushed aside, with letters started and then abandoned, as if the writer wasn’t happy with how they looked. A stick of black sealing wax and a seal were there too, suggesting that the usual closure hadn’t been seen as secure enough. The open sheets of paper on the table made it possible for him to read the few words written on each. One said:
“SIR,—As a woman who was once blest with a dear son of her own, I implore you to accept a warning——”
“SIR,—As a woman who was once blessed with a beloved son, I urge you to take heed of a warning—”
Another:
Another one.
“SIR,—If you will deign to receive warning from a stranger before it is too late to alter your course, listen to——”
“SIR,—If you will kindly accept a warning from a stranger before it’s too late to change your path, listen to——”
The third:
The third:
“SIR,—With this letter I enclose to you another which, unaided by any explanation from me, tells a startling tale. I wish, however, to add a few words to make your delusion yet more clear to you——”
“SIR,—With this letter, I’m including another one that, without any explanation from me, shares a shocking story. I want to add a few words to help clarify your misunderstanding——”
It was plain that, after these renounced beginnings, a fourth letter had been written and despatched, which had been deemed a proper one. Upon the table were two drops of sealing-wax, the stick from which they were taken having been laid down overhanging the edge of the table; the end of it drooped, showing that the wax was placed there whilst warm. There was the chair in which the writer had sat, the impression of the letter’s address upon the blotting-paper, and the poor widow who had caused these results lying dead hard by. Knight had seen enough to lead him to the conclusion that Mrs. Jethway, having matter of great importance to communicate to some friend or acquaintance, had written him a very careful letter, and gone herself to post it; that she had not returned to the house from that time of leaving it till Lord Luxellian and himself had brought her back dead.
It was clear that, after those rejected beginnings, a fourth letter had been written and sent, which was considered acceptable. On the table were two drops of sealing wax, with the stick from which they were taken hanging over the edge of the table; the drooping end showed that the wax was placed there while it was still warm. There was the chair where the writer had sat, the impression of the letter's address on the blotting paper, and the poor widow who caused all this lying dead nearby. Knight had seen enough to conclude that Mrs. Jethway, having something very important to communicate to a friend or acquaintance, had written a careful letter and gone to post it herself; she hadn't returned to the house from the time she left until Lord Luxellian and he brought her back dead.
The unutterable melancholy of the whole scene, as he waited on, silent and alone, did not altogether clash with the mood of Knight, even though he was the affianced of a fair and winning girl, and though so lately he had been in her company. Whilst sitting on the remains of the demolished tower he had defined a new sensation; that the lengthened course of inaction he had lately been indulging in on Elfride’s account might probably not be good for him as a man who had work to do. It could quickly be put an end to by hastening on his marriage with her.
The deep sadness of the whole situation, as he waited quietly and all alone, didn’t completely clash with Knight’s mood, even though he was engaged to a beautiful and charming girl, and had recently been with her. While sitting on the remains of the destroyed tower, he realized a new feeling; that the long period of doing nothing he had been indulging in for Elfride might not be good for him as a man who had work to do. He could quickly put an end to it by rushing into marriage with her.
Knight, in his own opinion, was one who had missed his mark by excessive aiming. Having now, to a great extent, given up ideal ambitions, he wished earnestly to direct his powers into a more practical channel, and thus correct the introspective tendencies which had never brought himself much happiness, or done his fellow-creatures any great good. To make a start in this new direction by marriage, which, since knowing Elfride, had been so entrancing an idea, was less exquisite to-night. That the curtailment of his illusion regarding her had something to do with the reaction, and with the return of his old sentiments on wasting time, is more than probable. Though Knight’s heart had so greatly mastered him, the mastery was not so complete as to be easily maintained in the face of a moderate intellectual revival.
Knight believed he had missed his target by aiming too high. Now that he had largely set aside his lofty ambitions, he sincerely wanted to channel his energies into something more practical, hoping to overcome the introspective tendencies that hadn’t brought him much joy or benefited anyone else significantly. Starting this new path through marriage, which had seemed such an exciting idea since meeting Elfride, felt less appealing tonight. It’s likely that the loss of his illusions about her contributed to this shift, along with the return of his old feelings about wasting time. Although Knight’s heart had a strong hold on him, that hold wasn’t so absolute that it couldn’t be challenged by a moderate awakening of his intellect.
His reverie was broken by the sound of wheels, and a horse’s tramp. The door opened to admit the surgeon, Lord Luxellian, and a Mr. Coole, coroner for the division (who had been attending at Castle Boterel that very day, and was having an after-dinner chat with the doctor when Lord Luxellian arrived); next came two female nurses and some idlers.
His daydream was interrupted by the sound of wheels and a horse's footsteps. The door opened to let in the surgeon, Lord Luxellian, and Mr. Coole, the coroner for the area (who had been at Castle Boterel that day and was having an after-dinner conversation with the doctor when Lord Luxellian showed up); next came two female nurses and a few bystanders.
Mr. Granson, after a cursory examination, pronounced the woman dead from suffocation, induced by intense pressure on the respiratory organs; and arrangements were made that the inquiry should take place on the following morning, before the return of the coroner to St. Launce’s.
Mr. Granson, after a quick examination, declared the woman dead from suffocation caused by severe pressure on her lungs; and plans were made for the inquiry to happen the next morning, before the coroner returned to St. Launce’s.
Shortly afterwards the house of the widow was deserted by all its living occupants, and she abode in death, as she had in her life during the past two years, entirely alone.
Shortly after, the widow’s house was empty of all its living residents, and she lived in solitude, just as she had during the past two years of her life.
Chapter XXXIV
“Yea, happy shall he be that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.”
"Yes, happy will he be who rewards you as you have served us."
Sixteen hours had passed. Knight was entering the ladies’ boudoir at The Crags, upon his return from attending the inquest touching the death of Mrs. Jethway. Elfride was not in the apartment.
Sixteen hours had passed. Knight was entering the ladies’ room at The Crags after returning from the inquest regarding the death of Mrs. Jethway. Elfride was not in the room.
Mrs. Swancourt made a few inquiries concerning the verdict and collateral circumstances. Then she said—
Mrs. Swancourt asked a few questions about the verdict and related details. Then she said—
“The postman came this morning the minute after you left the house. There was only one letter for you, and I have it here.”
“The postman came this morning right after you left the house. There was only one letter for you, and I have it here.”
She took a letter from the lid of her workbox, and handed it to him. Knight took the missive abstractedly, but struck by its appearance murmured a few words and left the room.
She grabbed a letter from the top of her workbox and handed it to him. Knight took the letter absentmindedly, but the way it looked caught his attention, so he muttered a few words and left the room.
The letter was fastened with a black seal, and the handwriting in which it was addressed had lain under his eyes, long and prominently, only the evening before.
The letter was sealed with a black wax seal, and the handwriting used to address it had been directly in front of him, noticeable and clear, just the evening before.
Knight was greatly agitated, and looked about for a spot where he might be secure from interruption. It was the season of heavy dews, which lay on the herbage in shady places all the day long; nevertheless, he entered a small patch of neglected grass-plat enclosed by the shrubbery, and there perused the letter, which he had opened on his way thither.
Knight was very anxious and searched for a place where he could be free from interruptions. It was the time of year when heavy dew settled on the grass in shady spots all day long; still, he walked into a small area of overgrown grass surrounded by bushes, and there he read the letter he had opened on his way there.
The handwriting, the seal, the paper, the introductory words, all had told on the instant that the letter had come to him from the hands of the widow Jethway, now dead and cold. He had instantly understood that the unfinished notes which caught his eye yesternight were intended for nobody but himself. He had remembered some of the words of Elfride in her sleep on the steamer, that somebody was not to tell him of something, or it would be her ruin—a circumstance hitherto deemed so trivial and meaningless that he had well-nigh forgotten it. All these things infused into him an emotion intense in power and supremely distressing in quality. The paper in his hand quivered as he read:
The handwriting, the seal, the paper, the opening words—all of it instantly revealed that the letter was from the late widow Jethway, now deceased. He quickly realized that the unfinished notes he had seen last night were meant solely for him. He recalled some of Elfride's words in her sleep on the steamer, where she had said someone shouldn't tell him something, or it would ruin her—something he had previously thought was too trivial and had nearly forgotten. All of this filled him with a powerful and deeply distressing emotion. The paper in his hand trembled as he read:
“THE VALLEY, ENDELSTOW.
“Endelstow Valley.”
“SIR,—A woman who has not much in the world to lose by any censure this act may bring upon her, wishes to give you some hints concerning a lady you love. If you will deign to accept a warning before it is too late, you will notice what your correspondent has to say.
“SIR,—A woman who doesn’t have much to lose from any backlash this act might bring upon her wants to share some insights about a lady you care for. If you are willing to heed this warning before it’s too late, pay attention to what your correspondent has to say.
“You are deceived. Can such a woman as this be worthy?
“You're being fooled. Can someone like her really be deserving?”
“One who encouraged an honest youth to love her, then slighted him, so that he died.
“One who encouraged a sincere young man to love her, then rejected him, which led to his death.
“One who next took a man of no birth as a lover, who was forbidden the house by her father.
“One who then took a man of no status as a lover, who was banned from the house by her father.
“One who secretly left her home to be married to that man, met him, and went with him to London.
“One who quietly left her home to marry that man met him and went with him to London.”
“One who, for some reason or other, returned again unmarried.
“One who, for some reason or another, returned again single.
“One who, in her after-correspondence with him, went so far as to address him as her husband.
"One who, in her later correspondence with him, went so far as to call him her husband."
“One who wrote the enclosed letter to ask me, who better than anybody else knows the story, to keep the scandal a secret.
“One person wrote the enclosed letter asking me, who knows the story better than anyone else, to keep the scandal a secret.
“I hope soon to be beyond the reach of either blame or praise. But before removing me God has put it in my power to avenge the death of my son.
“I hope to soon be out of reach of either blame or praise. But before taking me away, God has given me the chance to avenge my son’s death.”
“GERTRUDE JETHWAY.”
"Gertrude Jethway."
The letter enclosed was the note in pencil that Elfride had written in Mrs. Jethway’s cottage:
The enclosed letter was the pencil note that Elfride had written in Mrs. Jethway’s cottage:
“DEAR MRS. JETHWAY,—I have been to visit you. I wanted much to see you, but I cannot wait any longer. I came to beg you not to execute the threats you have repeated to me. Do not, I beseech you, Mrs. Jethway, let any one know I ran away from home! It would ruin me with him, and break my heart. I will do anything for you, if you will be kind to me. In the name of our common womanhood, do not, I implore you, make a scandal of me.—Yours,
“DEAR MRS. JETHWAY,—I came to visit you. I really wanted to see you, but I can’t wait any longer. I’m here to ask you not to go through with the threats you’ve made to me. Please, Mrs. Jethway, don’t let anyone know I ran away from home! It would ruin my relationship with him and break my heart. I’ll do anything for you if you’ll be kind to me. In the name of our shared womanhood, please, I beg you, don’t create a scandal about me.—Yours,
“E. SWANCOURT.
E. SWANCOURT.
Knight turned his head wearily towards the house. The ground rose rapidly on nearing the shrubbery in which he stood, raising it almost to a level with the first floor of The Crags. Elfride’s dressing-room lay in the salient angle in this direction, and it was lighted by two windows in such a position that, from Knight’s standing-place, his sight passed through both windows, and raked the room. Elfride was there; she was pausing between the two windows, looking at her figure in the cheval-glass. She regarded herself long and attentively in front; turned, flung back her head, and observed the reflection over her shoulder.
Knight wearily turned his head toward the house. The ground rose quickly as he approached the shrubbery where he stood, nearly reaching the level of the first floor of The Crags. Elfride’s dressing room was at a noticeable angle in this direction, illuminated by two windows positioned so that, from where Knight stood, he could see through both and get a view of the room. Elfride was there; she paused between the two windows, looking at her reflection in the cheval-glass. She carefully studied herself for a long moment, then turned, tossed her head back, and examined her reflection over her shoulder.
Nobody can predicate as to her object or fancy; she may have done the deed in the very abstraction of deep sadness. She may have been moaning from the bottom of her heart, “How unhappy am I!” But the impression produced on Knight was not a good one. He dropped his eyes moodily. The dead woman’s letter had a virtue in the accident of its juncture far beyond any it intrinsically exhibited. Circumstance lent to evil words a ring of pitiless justice echoing from the grave. Knight could not endure their possession. He tore the letter into fragments.
Nobody can guess what her intentions or thoughts were; she might have done it in a moment of deep sadness. She could have been crying out from the depths of her heart, “How unhappy am I!” But the impression it left on Knight wasn’t a positive one. He lowered his gaze in frustration. The dead woman’s letter carried a weight in its timing that went far beyond its actual content. The circumstances gave her harsh words a resonant sense of unforgiving justice that seemed to come from the grave. Knight couldn’t stand having it. He ripped the letter into pieces.
He heard a brushing among the bushes behind, and turning his head he saw Elfride following him. The fair girl looked in his face with a wistful smile of hope, too forcedly hopeful to displace the firmly established dread beneath it. His severe words of the previous night still sat heavy upon her.
He heard a rustling in the bushes behind him, and when he turned his head, he saw Elfride following him. The pretty girl looked at him with a hopeful smile that felt too forced to cover the deep fear underneath. His harsh words from the night before still weighed heavily on her.
“I saw you from my window, Harry,” she said timidly.
“I saw you from my window, Harry,” she said quietly.
“The dew will make your feet wet,” he observed, as one deaf.
“The dew will make your feet wet,” he noted, as if he were deaf.
“I don’t mind it.”
"I don't mind."
“There is danger in getting wet feet.”
“There is a risk in getting your feet wet.”
“Yes...Harry, what is the matter?”
"Yeah...Harry, what's wrong?"
“Oh, nothing. Shall I resume the serious conversation I had with you last night? No, perhaps not; perhaps I had better not.”
“Oh, nothing. Should I continue the serious conversation we had last night? No, maybe not; maybe it’s better if I don’t.”
“Oh, I cannot tell! How wretched it all is! Ah, I wish you were your own dear self again, and had kissed me when I came up! Why didn’t you ask me for one? why don’t you now?”
“Oh, I can't explain! It’s all so miserable! I wish you were your wonderful self again and had kissed me when I arrived! Why didn't you ask me for one? Why don't you do it now?”
“Too free in manner by half,” he heard murmur the voice within him.
“Way too casual,” he heard a voice inside him murmur.
“It was that hateful conversation last night,” she went on. “Oh, those words! Last night was a black night for me.”
“It was that awful conversation last night,” she continued. “Oh, those words! Last night was a dark night for me.”
“Kiss!—I hate that word! Don’t talk of kissing, for God’s sake! I should think you might with advantage have shown tact enough to keep back that word ‘kiss,’ considering those you have accepted.”
“Kiss!—I hate that word! Don’t mention kissing, for heaven’s sake! I would think you could have had the sense to avoid using the word ‘kiss,’ given the people you’ve accepted.”
She became very pale, and a rigid and desolate charactery took possession of her face. That face was so delicate and tender in appearance now, that one could fancy the pressure of a finger upon it would cause a livid spot.
She became very pale, and a stiff and lonely expression took over her face. That face looked so delicate and tender now that one might think just a light touch would leave a bruise.
Knight walked on, and Elfride with him, silent and unopposing. He opened a gate, and they entered a path across a stubble-field.
Knight walked on, and Elfride followed him, quiet and compliant. He opened a gate, and they stepped onto a path through a stubble field.
“Perhaps I intrude upon you?” she said as he closed the gate. “Shall I go away?”
“Am I interrupting you?” she asked as he closed the gate. “Should I leave?”
“No. Listen to me, Elfride.” Knight’s voice was low and unequal. “I have been honest with you: will you be so with me? If any—strange—connection has existed between yourself and a predecessor of mine, tell it now. It is better that I know it now, even though the knowledge should part us, than that I should discover it in time to come. And suspicions have been awakened in me. I think I will not say how, because I despise the means. A discovery of any mystery of your past would embitter our lives.”
“No. Listen to me, Elfride.” Knight’s voice was low and unsteady. “I’ve been honest with you: will you be honest with me? If there’s been any—strange—connection between you and someone I was involved with before, you need to tell me now. It’s better for me to know now, even if it means we end things, than to find out later. I have my suspicions. I won’t say how I came to feel this way because I dislike the reasons. Finding out any mystery about your past would make our lives miserable.”
Knight waited with a slow manner of calmness. His eyes were sad and imperative. They went farther along the path.
Knight waited with a slow sense of calm. His eyes were sad and commanding. They walked further down the path.
“Will you forgive me if I tell you all?” she exclaimed entreatingly.
“Will you forgive me if I tell you everything?” she said earnestly.
“I can’t promise; so much depends upon what you have to tell.”
“I can't make any promises; it really depends on what you have to say.”
Elfride could not endure the silence which followed.
Elfride couldn’t stand the silence that came after.
“Are you not going to love me?” she burst out. “Harry, Harry, love me, and speak as usual! Do; I beseech you, Harry!”
“Are you really not going to love me?” she exclaimed. “Harry, Harry, love me, and talk to me like you normally do! Please, I beg you, Harry!”
“Are you going to act fairly by me?” said Knight, with rising anger; “or are you not? What have I done to you that I should be put off like this? Be caught like a bird in a springe; everything intended to be hidden from me! Why is it, Elfride? That’s what I ask you.”
“Are you going to treat me fairly?” Knight said, his anger growing. “Or are you not? What have I done to you that you should dismiss me like this? I feel like a bird caught in a trap; everything is being kept from me! Why is that, Elfride? That’s what I want to know.”
In their agitation they had left the path, and were wandering among the wet and obstructive stubble, without knowing or heeding it.
In their excitement, they had left the path and were wandering through the damp and tangled stubble, unaware and unconcerned.
“What have I done?” she faltered.
“What have I done?” she hesitated.
“What? How can you ask what, when you know so well? You KNOW that I have designedly been kept in ignorance of something attaching to you, which, had I known of it, might have altered all my conduct; and yet you say, what?”
“What? How can you ask what, when you know perfectly well? You KNOW that I’ve intentionally been kept in the dark about something related to you, which, if I had known about it, might have changed everything I did; and yet you say, what?”
She drooped visibly, and made no answer.
She visibly slumped and didn’t respond.
“Not that I believe in malicious letter-writers and whisperers; not I. I don’t know whether I do or don’t: upon my soul, I can’t tell. I know this: a religion was building itself upon you in my heart. I looked into your eyes, and thought I saw there truth and innocence as pure and perfect as ever embodied by God in the flesh of woman. Perfect truth is too much to expect, but ordinary truth I WILL HAVE or nothing at all. Just say, then; is the matter you keep back of the gravest importance, or is it not?”
“Not that I believe in spiteful letter-writers and gossipers; I really don’t. I’m not sure if I do or don’t: honestly, I can’t tell. What I do know is this: a faith was forming in my heart about you. I looked into your eyes and thought I saw truth and innocence as pure and perfect as they’ve ever been represented by God in a woman’s flesh. Perfect truth is a lot to ask for, but I WILL HAVE ordinary truth or nothing at all. So just tell me; is the issue you’re holding back of the utmost importance, or not?”
“I don’t understand all your meaning. If I have hidden anything from you, it has been because I loved you so, and I feared—feared—to lose you.”
“I don’t really get what you mean. If I’ve kept anything from you, it’s because I loved you so much, and I was afraid—afraid—of losing you.”
“Since you are not given to confidence, I want to ask you some plain questions. Have I your permission?”
“Since you're not very confident, I want to ask you some straightforward questions. Do I have your permission?”
“Yes,” she said, and there came over her face a weary resignation. “Say the harshest words you can; I will bear them!”
“Yeah,” she said, and a look of tired acceptance crossed her face. “Go ahead and say the harshest things you can; I can handle it!”
“There is a scandal in the air concerning you, Elfride; and I cannot even combat it without knowing definitely what it is. It may not refer to you entirely, or even at all.” Knight trifled in the very bitterness of his feeling. “In the time of the French Revolution, Pariseau, a ballet-master, was beheaded by mistake for Parisot, a captain of the King’s Guard. I wish there was another ‘E. Swancourt’ in the neighbourhood. Look at this.”
“There’s a scandal going around about you, Elfride, and I can’t even fight it without knowing exactly what it is. It might not even be about you at all.” Knight struggled with the bitterness of his feelings. “During the French Revolution, a ballet master named Pariseau was accidentally executed instead of Parisot, a captain in the King’s Guard. I wish there were another ‘E. Swancourt’ nearby. Look at this.”
He handed her the letter she had written and left on the table at Mrs. Jethway’s. She looked over it vacantly.
He handed her the letter she had written and left on the table at Mrs. Jethway’s. She glanced at it blankly.
“It is not so much as it seems!” she pleaded. “It seems wickedly deceptive to look at now, but it had a much more natural origin than you think. My sole wish was not to endanger our love. O Harry! that was all my idea. It was not much harm.”
“It’s not as bad as it seems!” she begged. “It looks really misleading now, but it came from a much more natural place than you realize. All I wanted was to protect our love. Oh Harry! That was all I had in mind. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Yes, yes; but independently of the poor miserable creature’s remarks, it seems to imply—something wrong.”
“Yes, yes; but aside from the poor miserable creature’s comments, it seems to imply—something’s off.”
“What remarks?”
“What comments?”
“Those she wrote me—now torn to pieces. Elfride, DID you run away with a man you loved?—that was the damnable statement. Has such an accusation life in it—really, truly, Elfride?”
“Those letters you sent me—now ripped to shreds. Elfride, DID you run away with a man you loved?—that was the awful accusation. Does such a claim have any truth to it—really, truly, Elfride?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
"Yeah," she whispered.
Knight’s countenance sank. “To be married to him?” came huskily from his lips.
Knight’s expression fell. “To be married to him?” he said hoarsely.
“Yes. Oh, forgive me! I had never seen you, Harry.”
“Yes. Oh, I'm sorry! I had never seen you before, Harry.”
“To London?”
"Headed to London?"
“Yes; but I——”
“Yes; but I—”
“Answer my questions; say nothing else, Elfride Did you ever deliberately try to marry him in secret?”
“Answer my questions; don’t say anything else, Elfride. Did you ever purposely try to marry him in secret?”
“No; not deliberately.”
“No, not on purpose.”
“But did you do it?”
“But did you really do it?”
A feeble red passed over her face.
A faint red flushed her cheeks.
“Yes,” she said.
“Yes,” she replied.
“And after that—did you—write to him as your husband; and did he address you as his wife?”
“And after that—did you—write to him as your husband; and did he address you as his wife?”
“Listen, listen! It was——”
"Listen up! It was——"
“Do answer me; only answer me!”
“Please answer me; just answer me!”
“Then, yes, we did.” Her lips shook; but it was with some little dignity that she continued: “I would gladly have told you; for I knew and know I had done wrong. But I dared not; I loved you too well. Oh, so well! You have been everything in the world to me—and you are now. Will you not forgive me?”
“Then, yes, we did.” Her lips trembled, but she continued with a bit of dignity: “I would have gladly told you because I knew I had done wrong. But I was too afraid; I loved you too much. Oh, so much! You’ve meant everything to me—and you still do. Will you forgive me?”
It is a melancholy thought, that men who at first will not allow the verdict of perfection they pronounce upon their sweethearts or wives to be disturbed by God’s own testimony to the contrary, will, once suspecting their purity, morally hang them upon evidence they would be ashamed to admit in judging a dog.
It’s a sad thought that men who initially refuse to let their judgment of perfection about their girlfriends or wives be shaken by God’s own opinion to the contrary will, as soon as they start to doubt their purity, morally condemn them based on evidence they would be embarrassed to use when judging a dog.
The reluctance to tell, which arose from Elfride’s simplicity in thinking herself so much more culpable than she really was, had been doing fatal work in Knight’s mind. The man of many ideas, now that his first dream of impossible things was over, vibrated too far in the contrary direction; and her every movement of feature—every tremor—every confused word—was taken as so much proof of her unworthiness.
The hesitation to speak up, stemming from Elfride's naive belief that she was far more at fault than she actually was, had been damaging Knight's mind. The man full of ideas, now that his initial fantasy of impossible things had ended, swung too far in the opposite direction; every expression on her face—every tremor—every jumbled word—was seen as evidence of her unworthiness.
“Elfride, we must bid good-bye to compliment,” said Knight: “we must do without politeness now. Look in my face, and as you believe in God above, tell me truly one thing more. Were you away alone with him?”
“Elfride, we need to skip the formalities,” said Knight. “We can’t be polite right now. Look me in the eye, and as you believe in God above, tell me the truth about one more thing. Were you alone with him?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Did you return home the same day on which you left it?”
“Did you go back home the same day you left it?”
“No.”
“No.”
The word fell like a bolt, and the very land and sky seemed to suffer. Knight turned aside. Meantime Elfride’s countenance wore a look indicating utter despair of being able to explain matters so that they would seem no more than they really were,—a despair which not only relinquishes the hope of direct explanation, but wearily gives up all collateral chances of extenuation.
The word hit like a lightning strike, and it felt like the land and sky were in pain. Knight looked away. Meanwhile, Elfride's face showed complete despair at being able to make things clear without making them seem worse than they actually were—a despair that not only abandoned the hope of a straightforward explanation but also tiredly let go of any chance to soften the situation.
The scene was engraved for years on the retina of Knight’s eye: the dead and brown stubble, the weeds among it, the distant belt of beeches shutting out the view of the house, the leaves of which were now red and sick to death.
The scene was imprinted for years on Knight’s mind: the dead, brown stubble, the weeds mixed in, the far-off line of beeches blocking the view of the house, whose leaves were now red and dying.
“You must forget me,” he said. “We shall not marry, Elfride.”
“You need to forget me,” he said. “We’re not getting married, Elfride.”
How much anguish passed into her soul at those words from him was told by the look of supreme torture she wore.
How much pain those words caused her was evident in the look of sheer agony on her face.
“What meaning have you, Harry? You only say so, do you?”
“What do you mean, Harry? Is that really all you've got to say?”
She looked doubtingly up at him, and tried to laugh, as if the unreality of his words must be unquestionable.
She looked up at him with doubt and tried to laugh, as if the absurdity of his words was undeniable.
“You are not in earnest, I know—I hope you are not? Surely I belong to you, and you are going to keep me for yours?”
“You're not serious, I know—you can't be, right? Surely I belong to you, and you're planning to keep me for yourself?”
“Elfride, I have been speaking too roughly to you; I have said what I ought only to have thought. I like you; and let me give you a word of advice. Marry your man as soon as you can. However weary of each other you may feel, you belong to each other, and I am not going to step between you. Do you think I would—do you think I could for a moment? If you cannot marry him now, and another makes you his wife, do not reveal this secret to him after marriage, if you do not before. Honesty would be damnation then.”
“Elfride, I’ve been too harsh with you; I’ve said things I should have only kept to myself. I like you, and I want to give you some advice. Marry your man as soon as you can. No matter how tired you might feel of each other, you belong to each other, and I’m not going to get in the way. Do you think I would—do you think I could even for a second? If you can’t marry him now, and someone else makes you their wife, don’t tell him this secret after the wedding if you don’t tell him before. Honesty would be a curse then.”
Bewildered by his expressions, she exclaimed—
Bewildered by his expressions, she exclaimed—
“No, no; I will not be a wife unless I am yours; and I must be yours!”
“No, no; I won’t be a wife unless I’m yours; and I have to be yours!”
“If we had married——”
“If we had gotten married——”
“But you don’t MEAN—that—that—you will go away and leave me, and not be anything more to me—oh, you don’t!”
“But you don’t really mean—that—that—you’re going to leave me and not be anything more to me—oh, please don’t!”
Convulsive sobs took all nerve out of her utterance. She checked them, and continued to look in his face for the ray of hope that was not to be found there.
Convulsive sobs drained all the strength from her voice. She held them back and kept looking into his face for a glimmer of hope that wasn't there.
“I am going indoors,” said Knight. “You will not follow me, Elfride; I wish you not to.”
“I’m going inside,” said Knight. “You won’t follow me, Elfride; I don’t want you to.”
“Oh no; indeed, I will not.”
“Oh no; definitely not.”
“And then I am going to Castle Boterel. Good-bye.”
“And then I'm heading to Castle Boterel. Goodbye.”
He spoke the farewell as if it were but for the day—lightly, as he had spoken such temporary farewells many times before—and she seemed to understand it as such. Knight had not the power to tell her plainly that he was going for ever; he hardly knew for certain that he was: whether he should rush back again upon the current of an irresistible emotion, or whether he could sufficiently conquer himself, and her in him, to establish that parting as a supreme farewell, and present himself to the world again as no woman’s.
He said goodbye as if it were just for the day—lightly, just like he had done many times before—and she seemed to get that. Knight couldn't bring himself to tell her directly that he was leaving for good; he wasn't even sure himself if he would. He wondered if he would be swept back into the strong emotions or if he could hold himself together and separate from her enough to make that goodbye a final farewell, allowing him to reenter the world as a man without ties to any woman.
Ten minutes later he had left the house, leaving directions that if he did not return in the evening his luggage was to be sent to his chambers in London, whence he intended to write to Mr. Swancourt as to the reasons of his sudden departure. He descended the valley, and could not forbear turning his head. He saw the stubble-field, and a slight girlish figure in the midst of it—up against the sky. Elfride, docile as ever, had hardly moved a step, for he had said, Remain. He looked and saw her again—he saw her for weeks and months. He withdrew his eyes from the scene, swept his hand across them, as if to brush away the sight, breathed a low groan, and went on.
Ten minutes later, he left the house with instructions that if he didn’t come back in the evening, his luggage should be sent to his place in London, where he planned to write to Mr. Swancourt about why he had to leave so suddenly. He walked down the valley and couldn’t help but look back. He saw the stubble field and a slight girlish figure in the middle of it—outlined against the sky. Elfride, as compliant as ever, hadn’t moved much since he had told her to stay. He looked at her again and envisioned her for weeks and months. He pulled his gaze away from the scene, wiped his eyes as if to clear the image, let out a soft groan, and continued on.
Chapter XXXV
“And wilt thou leave me thus?—say nay—say nay!”
“And will you leave me like this?—please say no—please say no!”
The scene shifts to Knight’s chambers in Bede’s Inn. It was late in the evening of the day following his departure from Endelstow. A drizzling rain descended upon London, forming a humid and dreary halo over every well-lighted street. The rain had not yet been prevalent long enough to give to rapid vehicles that clear and distinct rattle which follows the thorough washing of the stones by a drenching rain, but was just sufficient to make footway and roadway slippery, adhesive, and clogging to both feet and wheels.
The scene shifts to Knight’s room at Bede’s Inn. It was late evening on the day after he left Endelstow. A light drizzle fell over London, creating a damp and gloomy atmosphere around every brightly lit street. The rain hadn’t been coming down long enough to give fast-moving vehicles that sharp and clear sound after the streets have been thoroughly washed, but it was enough to make the sidewalks and roads slippery and sticky for both pedestrians and wheels.
Knight was standing by the fire, looking into its expiring embers, previously to emerging from his door for a dreary journey home to Richmond. His hat was on, and the gas turned off. The blind of the window overlooking the alley was not drawn down; and with the light from beneath, which shone over the ceiling of the room, came, in place of the usual babble, only the reduced clatter and quick speech which were the result of necessity rather than choice.
Knight was standing by the fire, looking at the dying embers before heading out his door for a long, gloomy trip back home to Richmond. His hat was on, and the gas was turned off. The blind on the window facing the alley was not pulled down; and instead of the usual chatter, only the muted noise and hurried conversation filled the room, a sign of necessity rather than preference.
Whilst he thus stood, waiting for the expiration of the few minutes that were wanting to the time for his catching the train, a light tapping upon the door mingled with the other sounds that reached his ears. It was so faint at first that the outer noises were almost sufficient to drown it. Finding it repeated Knight crossed the lobby, crowded with books and rubbish, and opened the door.
While he stood there, waiting for the last few minutes before he had to catch the train, a soft knocking on the door mixed with the other sounds around him. It was so quiet at first that the outside noises nearly drowned it out. Hearing it again, Knight crossed the lobby, cluttered with books and junk, and opened the door.
A woman, closely muffled up, but visibly of fragile build, was standing on the landing under the gaslight. She sprang forward, flung her arms round Knight’s neck, and uttered a low cry—
A woman, bundled up but clearly petite, was standing on the landing under the gaslight. She rushed forward, wrapped her arms around Knight's neck, and let out a soft cry—
“O Harry, Harry, you are killing me! I could not help coming. Don’t send me away—don’t! Forgive your Elfride for coming—I love you so!”
“O Harry, Harry, you’re breaking my heart! I couldn’t help but come. Please don’t send me away—don’t! Forgive your Elfride for coming—I love you so!”
Knight’s agitation and astonishment mastered him for a few moments.
Knight’s agitation and shock overwhelmed him for a few moments.
“Elfride!” he cried, “what does this mean? What have you done?”
“Elfride!” he exclaimed, “what does this mean? What have you done?”
“Do not hurt me and punish me—Oh, do not! I couldn’t help coming; it was killing me. Last night, when you did not come back, I could not bear it—I could not! Only let me be with you, and see your face, Harry; I don’t ask for more.”
“Please don’t hurt me or punish me—Oh, please don’t! I couldn’t help but come; it was driving me crazy. Last night, when you didn’t come back, I couldn’t stand it—I really couldn’t! Just let me be with you, and see your face, Harry; that’s all I ask for.”
Her eyelids were hot, heavy, and thick with excessive weeping, and the delicate rose-red of her cheeks was disfigured and inflamed by the constant chafing of the handkerchief in wiping her many tears.
Her eyelids felt hot, heavy, and thick from all the crying, and the soft rose-red of her cheeks was marred and swollen from constantly rubbing the handkerchief to dry her many tears.
“Who is with you? Have you come alone?” he hurriedly inquired.
“Who’s with you? Did you come by yourself?” he quickly asked.
“Yes. When you did not come last night, I sat up hoping you would come—and the night was all agony—and I waited on and on, and you did not come! Then when it was morning, and your letter said you were gone, I could not endure it; and I ran away from them to St. Launce’s, and came by the train. And I have been all day travelling to you, and you won’t make me go away again, will you, Harry, because I shall always love you till I die?”
“Yes. When you didn’t show up last night, I stayed up hoping you’d come—and it was pure agony—and I waited and waited, but you never came! Then when morning came and your letter said you were gone, I couldn’t take it; I ran away from them to St. Launce’s and took the train. I’ve been traveling to you all day, and you won’t make me leave again, will you, Harry, because I’ll always love you until I die?”
“Yet it is wrong for you to stay. O Elfride! what have you committed yourself to? It is ruin to your good name to run to me like this! Has not your first experience been sufficient to keep you from these things?”
“Yet it’s wrong for you to stay. Oh Elfride! What have you gotten yourself into? It’s damaging to your reputation to come to me like this! Hasn’t your first experience been enough to keep you away from this?”
“My name! Harry, I shall soon die, and what good will my name be to me then? Oh, could I but be the man and you the woman, I would not leave you for such a little fault as mine! Do not think it was so vile a thing in me to run away with him. Ah, how I wish you could have run away with twenty women before you knew me, that I might show you I would think it no fault, but be glad to get you after them all, so that I had you! If you only knew me through and through, how true I am, Harry. Cannot I be yours? Say you love me just the same, and don’t let me be separated from you again, will you? I cannot bear it—all the long hours and days and nights going on, and you not there, but away because you hate me!”
“My name! Harry, I’m going to die soon, and what good will my name do for me then? Oh, if only I could be the man and you the woman, I wouldn’t leave you for such a small mistake of mine! Don’t think it was so terrible for me to run off with him. Ah, how I wish you could have run away with twenty women before you met me, so I could show you that I wouldn’t see it as a fault, but would actually be glad to have you after all of them, just so that I had you! If you really knew me inside and out, you’d see how genuine I am, Harry. Can’t I be yours? Please say you love me just the same, and don’t let us get separated again, okay? I can’t stand it—all the long hours, days, and nights without you, just because you hate me!”
“Not hate you, Elfride,” he said gently, and supported her with his arm. “But you cannot stay here now—just at present, I mean.”
“Not hate you, Elfride,” he said softly, and held her up with his arm. “But you can’t stay here right now—just for the moment, I mean.”
“I suppose I must not—I wish I might. I am afraid that if—you lose sight of me—something dark will happen, and we shall not meet again. Harry, if I am not good enough to be your wife, I wish I could be your servant and live with you, and not be sent away never to see you again. I don’t mind what it is except that!”
“I guess I shouldn’t—I wish I could. I’m worried that if you—lose track of me—something bad will happen, and we won’t ever see each other again. Harry, if I’m not good enough to be your wife, I wish I could be your servant and stay with you, instead of being sent away never to see you again. I don’t care what it is except that!”
“No, I cannot send you away: I cannot. God knows what dark future may arise out of this evening’s work; but I cannot send you away! You must sit down, and I will endeavour to collect my thoughts and see what had better be done.
“No, I can’t send you away: I can’t. God knows what grim future might come from tonight’s work; but I can’t send you away! You need to sit down, and I’ll try to gather my thoughts and figure out what’s best to do.”
At that moment a loud knocking at the house door was heard by both, accompanied by a hurried ringing of the bell that echoed from attic to basement. The door was quickly opened, and after a few hasty words of converse in the hall, heavy footsteps ascended the stairs.
At that moment, both of them heard a loud knock at the front door, followed by a frantic ringing of the bell that echoed from the attic to the basement. The door was quickly opened, and after a few rushed words exchanged in the hallway, heavy footsteps climbed the stairs.
The face of Mr. Swancourt, flushed, grieved, and stern, appeared round the landing of the staircase. He came higher up, and stood beside them. Glancing over and past Knight with silent indignation, he turned to the trembling girl.
The face of Mr. Swancourt, red, upset, and serious, appeared around the landing of the staircase. He came up higher and stood next to them. With a look of silent anger that glanced over and past Knight, he turned to the trembling girl.
“O Elfride! and have I found you at last? Are these your tricks, madam? When will you get rid of your idiocies, and conduct yourself like a decent woman? Is my family name and house to be disgraced by acts that would be a scandal to a washerwoman’s daughter? Come along, madam; come!”
“O Elfride! Have I finally found you? Are these your games, madam? When will you stop your foolishness and act like a respectable woman? Is my family's name and home going to be ruined by behavior that would embarrass a washerwoman's daughter? Come on, madam; let's go!”
“She is so weary!” said Knight, in a voice of intensest anguish. “Mr. Swancourt, don’t be harsh with her—let me beg of you to be tender with her, and love her!”
“She is so tired!” said Knight, in a voice full of deep distress. “Mr. Swancourt, please don’t be cruel to her—let me ask you to be gentle with her and love her!”
“To you, sir,” said Mr. Swancourt, turning to him as if by the sheer pressure of circumstances, “I have little to say. I can only remark, that the sooner I can retire from your presence the better I shall be pleased. Why you could not conduct your courtship of my daughter like an honest man, I do not know. Why she—a foolish inexperienced girl—should have been tempted to this piece of folly, I do not know. Even if she had not known better than to leave her home, you might have, I should think.”
“To you, sir,” said Mr. Swancourt, turning to him as if compelled by the situation, “I have very little to say. All I can say is that the sooner I can leave your presence, the happier I will be. I don’t understand why you couldn’t pursue your interest in my daughter like a decent man. I also don’t know why she—a naive, inexperienced girl—would be drawn into this foolishness. Even if she didn’t know better than to leave her home, I thought you might have.”
“It is not his fault: he did not tempt me, papa! I came.”
“It’s not his fault: he didn’t tempt me, dad! I came.”
“If you wished the marriage broken off, why didn’t you say so plainly? If you never intended to marry, why could you not leave her alone? Upon my soul, it grates me to the heart to be obliged to think so ill of a man I thought my friend!”
“If you wanted the marriage to end, why didn’t you just say so? If you never planned to marry her, why couldn’t you just leave her alone? Honestly, it hurts me to think so poorly of a man I considered my friend!”
Knight, soul-sick and weary of his life, did not arouse himself to utter a word in reply. How should he defend himself when his defence was the accusation of Elfride? On that account he felt a miserable satisfaction in letting her father go on thinking and speaking wrongfully. It was a faint ray of pleasure straying into the great gloominess of his brain to think that the vicar might never know but that he, as her lover, tempted her away, which seemed to be the form Mr. Swancourt’s misapprehension had taken.
Knight, feeling exhausted and sick at heart with his life, didn’t have the energy to say anything in response. How could he defend himself when his defense would just point to Elfride’s accusation? Because of this, he felt a small, miserable satisfaction in allowing her father to keep thinking and saying the wrong things. It was a slight glimmer of pleasure breaking through the overwhelming sadness in his mind to consider that the vicar might never realize that, as her lover, he had tempted her away, which seemed to be what Mr. Swancourt misunderstood.
“Now, are you coming?” said Mr. Swancourt to her again. He took her unresisting hand, drew it within his arm, and led her down the stairs. Knight’s eyes followed her, the last moment begetting in him a frantic hope that she would turn her head. She passed on, and never looked back.
“Are you coming or not?” Mr. Swancourt asked her again. He took her hand, which she didn’t pull away from, slipped it under his arm, and led her down the stairs. Knight’s eyes were on her, feeling a desperate hope in that last moment that she would glance back. She walked on and never looked back.
He heard the door open—close again. The wheels of a cab grazed the kerbstone, a murmured direction followed. The door was slammed together, the wheels moved, and they rolled away.
He heard the door open—then close again. The wheels of a taxi brushed against the curb, followed by a whispered destination. The door slammed shut, the wheels turned, and they drove off.
From that hour of her reappearance a dreadful conflict raged within the breast of Henry Knight. His instinct, emotion, affectiveness—or whatever it may be called—urged him to stand forward, seize upon Elfride, and be her cherisher and protector through life. Then came the devastating thought that Elfride’s childlike, unreasoning, and indiscreet act in flying to him only proved that the proprieties must be a dead letter with her; that the unreserve, which was really artlessness without ballast, meant indifference to decorum; and what so likely as that such a woman had been deceived in the past? He said to himself, in a mood of the bitterest cynicism: “The suspicious discreet woman who imagines dark and evil things of all her fellow-creatures is far too shrewd to be deluded by man: trusting beings like Elfride are the women who fall.”
From the moment she reappeared, a terrible conflict raged inside Henry Knight. His instincts, feelings—whatever you want to call them—urged him to step forward, take Elfride in his arms, and protect and cherish her for life. Then came the crushing realization that Elfride’s naive and reckless decision to run to him only showed that social norms meant nothing to her; her openness, which was really just naivety without common sense, indicated a lack of concern for propriety. What were the chances that a woman like her hadn’t been fooled before? He thought to himself, in a bitterly cynical mood: “A cautious, discreet woman who suspects the worst of everyone is too savvy to be tricked by a man: trusting souls like Elfride are the ones who get hurt.”
Hours and days went by, and Knight remained inactive. Lengthening time, which made fainter the heart-awakening power of her presence, strengthened the mental ability to reason her down. Elfride loved him, he knew, and he could not leave off loving her but marry her he would not. If she could but be again his own Elfride—the woman she had seemed to be—but that woman was dead and buried, and he knew her no more! And how could he marry this Elfride, one who, if he had originally seen her as she was, would have been barely an interesting pitiable acquaintance in his eyes—no more?
Hours and days passed, and Knight stayed inactive. As time stretched on, the heart-awakening power of her presence faded, allowing him to rationalize why he shouldn't pursue her. Elfride loved him, he knew, and he couldn't stop loving her, but he wouldn't marry her. If only she could be his own Elfride again—the woman she seemed to be—but that woman was gone and buried, and he no longer knew her! How could he marry this Elfride, the one who, if he had seen her for who she truly was from the start, would barely have registered as a sad acquaintance in his eyes—nothing more?
It cankered his heart to think he was confronted by the closest instance of a worse state of things than any he had assumed in the pleasant social philosophy and satire of his essays.
It hurt his heart to realize he was facing the closest example of a worse situation than anything he had imagined in the friendly social ideas and humor of his essays.
The moral rightness of this man’s life was worthy of all praise; but in spite of some intellectual acumen, Knight had in him a modicum of that wrongheadedness which is mostly found in scrupulously honest people. With him, truth seemed too clean and pure an abstraction to be so hopelessly churned in with error as practical persons find it. Having now seen himself mistaken in supposing Elfride to be peerless, nothing on earth could make him believe she was not so very bad after all.
The moral integrity of this man's life was deserving of all praise; however, despite having some intellectual sharpness, Knight had a bit of that stubbornness typically seen in extremely honest people. For him, truth felt like too clean and pure an idea to be so hopelessly mixed with error as practical people often find it. Now that he realized he was wrong in believing Elfride to be flawless, nothing could convince him that she wasn't that bad after all.
He lingered in town a fortnight, doing little else than vibrate between passion and opinions. One idea remained intact—that it was better Elfride and himself should not meet.
He stayed in town for two weeks, doing little else but swing between emotions and thoughts. One idea stayed clear in his mind—that it was better for Elfride and him not to meet.
When he surveyed the volumes on his shelves—few of which had been opened since Elfride first took possession of his heart—their untouched and orderly arrangement reproached him as an apostate from the old faith of his youth and early manhood. He had deserted those never-failing friends, so they seemed to say, for an unstable delight in a ductile woman, which had ended all in bitterness. The spirit of self-denial, verging on asceticism, which had ever animated Knight in old times, announced itself as having departed with the birth of love, with it having gone the self-respect which had compensated for the lack of self-gratification. Poor little Elfride, instead of holding, as formerly, a place in his religion, began to assume the hue of a temptation. Perhaps it was human and correctly natural that Knight never once thought whether he did not owe her a little sacrifice for her unchary devotion in saving his life.
When he looked at the books on his shelves—most of which had hardly been touched since Elfride first captured his heart—their untouched and neatly arranged appearance seemed to blame him for betraying the old values of his youth and early adulthood. They seemed to say he had abandoned those ever-reliable friends for a fleeting pleasure in a flexible woman, which ended only in disappointment. The spirit of self-denial, bordering on asceticism, that had always motivated Knight in the past seemed to have vanished with the arrival of love, taking with it the self-respect that had made up for a lack of personal gratification. Poor little Elfride, instead of holding a cherished place in his life as she once did, began to feel more like a temptation. Perhaps it was only human and entirely natural that Knight never once considered whether he owed her a small act of sacrifice for her unwavering devotion in saving his life.
With a consciousness of having thus, like Antony, kissed away kingdoms and provinces, he next considered how he had revealed his higher secrets and intentions to her, an unreserve he would never have allowed himself with any man living. How was it that he had not been able to refrain from telling her of adumbrations heretofore locked in the closest strongholds of his mind?
With an awareness that, like Antony, he had given up kingdoms and territories, he then thought about how he had shared his deepest secrets and intentions with her, a level of openness he would never have permitted himself with any man alive. How was it that he couldn’t hold back from telling her about thoughts that had previously been secured in the tightest confines of his mind?
Knight’s was a robust intellect, which could escape outside the atmosphere of heart, and perceive that his own love, as well as other people’s, could be reduced by change of scene and circumstances. At the same time the perception was a superimposed sorrow:
Knight had a strong intellect that could rise above emotions and understand that his own love, as well as that of others, could diminish with changes in setting and situation. Yet, this understanding also brought a deep sadness:
“O last regret, regret can die!”
“O last regret, regret can die!”
But being convinced that the death of this regret was the best thing for him, he did not long shrink from attempting it. He closed his chambers, suspended his connection with editors, and left London for the Continent. Here we will leave him to wander without purpose, beyond the nominal one of encouraging obliviousness of Elfride.
But believing that letting go of this regret was the best thing for him, he didn’t hesitate for long to try it. He packed up his place, paused his work with editors, and left London for the Continent. Here, we’ll leave him to roam aimlessly, with the only real goal of forgetting Elfride.
Chapter XXXVI
“The pennie’s the jewel that beautifies a’.”
“The penny’s the gem that enhances everything.”
“I can’t think what’s coming to these St. Launce’s people at all at all.”
“I can’t imagine what’s in store for these St. Launce’s folks at all.”
“With their ‘How-d’ye-do’s,’ do you mean?”
“With their ‘How do you do?’s, do you mean?”
“Ay, with their ‘How-d’ye-do’s,’ and shaking of hands, asking me in, and tender inquiries for you, John.”
“Yeah, with their ‘How are you?’ and handshakes, inviting me in, and asking how you’re doing, John.”
These words formed part of a conversation between John Smith and his wife on a Saturday evening in the spring which followed Knight’s departure from England. Stephen had long since returned to India; and the persevering couple themselves had migrated from Lord Luxellian’s park at Endelstow to a comfortable roadside dwelling about a mile out of St. Launce’s, where John had opened a small stone and slate yard in his own name.
These words were part of a conversation between John Smith and his wife on a Saturday evening in the spring after Knight left England. Stephen had already gone back to India, and the determined couple had moved from Lord Luxellian’s park at Endelstow to a cozy home about a mile outside of St. Launce’s, where John had opened a small stone and slate yard under his own name.
“When we came here six months ago,” continued Mrs. Smith, “though I had paid ready money so many years in the town, my friskier shopkeepers would only speak over the counter. Meet ’em in the street half-an-hour after, and they’d treat me with staring ignorance of my face.”
“When we arrived here six months ago,” Mrs. Smith continued, “even though I had paid cash for years in the town, my more lively shopkeepers would only talk to me across the counter. If I ran into them on the street half an hour later, they would act like they didn’t even know me.”
“Look through ye as through a glass winder?”
“Look through it like you would through a glass window?”
“Yes, the brazen ones would. The quiet and cool ones would glance over the top of my head, past my side, over my shoulder, but never meet my eye. The gentle-modest would turn their faces south if I were coming east, flit down a passage if I were about to halve the pavement with them. There was the spruce young bookseller would play the same tricks; the butcher’s daughters; the upholsterer’s young men. Hand in glove when doing business out of sight with you; but caring nothing for a’ old woman when playing the genteel away from all signs of their trade.”
“Yes, the bold ones would. The quiet and composed ones would look over my head, past my side, over my shoulder, but never make eye contact. The shy ones would turn their faces away if I was coming from the east, slip down a corridor if I was about to walk alongside them. Even the sharp young bookseller would pull the same tricks; the butcher’s daughters; the young men from the upholstery shop. They would be friendly enough when conducting business privately with you, but they wouldn’t care at all about an old woman when they were trying to act classy away from all signs of their work.”
“True enough, Maria.”
“That's true, Maria.”
“Well, to-day ’tis all different. I’d no sooner got to market than Mrs. Joakes rushed up to me in the eyes of the town and said, ‘My dear Mrs. Smith, now you must be tired with your walk! Come in and have some lunch! I insist upon it; knowing you so many years as I have! Don’t you remember when we used to go looking for owls’ feathers together in the Castle ruins?’ There’s no knowing what you may need, so I answered the woman civilly. I hadn’t got to the corner before that thriving young lawyer, Sweet, who’s quite the dandy, ran after me out of breath. ‘Mrs. Smith,’ he says, ‘excuse my rudeness, but there’s a bramble on the tail of your dress, which you’ve dragged in from the country; allow me to pull it off for you.’ If you’ll believe me, this was in the very front of the Town Hall. What’s the meaning of such sudden love for a’ old woman?”
“Well, today it's all different. I barely reached the market when Mrs. Joakes rushed up to me in front of everyone and said, ‘My dear Mrs. Smith, you must be tired from your walk! Come in and have some lunch! I insist, knowing you as long as I have! Don’t you remember when we used to go searching for owl feathers together in the Castle ruins?’ You can’t tell what you might need, so I responded politely. I hadn’t even gotten to the corner when that ambitious young lawyer, Sweet, who’s quite the dandy, ran after me, out of breath. ‘Mrs. Smith,’ he said, ‘please excuse my rudeness, but there’s a bramble stuck to the back of your dress that you’ve dragged in from the country; let me pull it off for you.’ Believe it or not, this happened right in front of the Town Hall. What’s with all this sudden attention for an old woman?”
“Can’t say; unless ’tis repentance.”
"Can't say; unless it's regret."
“Repentance! was there ever such a fool as you. John? Did anybody ever repent with money in’s pocket and fifty years to live?”
“Repentance! Was there ever such a fool as you, John? Did anyone ever repent with money in their pocket and fifty years to live?”
“Now, I’ve been thinking too,” said John, passing over the query as hardly pertinent, “that I’ve had more loving-kindness from folks to-day than I ever have before since we moved here. Why, old Alderman Tope walked out to the middle of the street where I was, to shake hands with me—so ’a did. Having on my working clothes, I thought ’twas odd. Ay, and there was young Werrington.”
“Now, I’ve been thinking too,” said John, brushing off the question as not really relevant, “that I’ve received more kindness from people today than I ever have since we moved here. You know, old Alderman Tope walked out into the street where I was just to shake hands with me—he really did. Wearing my work clothes, I thought it was strange. And there was young Werrington too.”
“Who’s he?”
"Who is he?"
“Why, the man in Hill Street, who plays and sells flutes, trumpets, and fiddles, and grand pehanners. He was talking to Egloskerry, that very small bachelor-man with money in the funds. I was going by, I’m sure, without thinking or expecting a nod from men of that glib kidney when in my working clothes——”
“Why, the guy in Hill Street who plays and sells flutes, trumpets, fiddles, and big pehanners. He was chatting with Egloskerry, that tiny bachelor-man with cash in the funds. I was walking by, definitely not thinking or expecting a nod from those smooth talkers when I was in my work clothes——”
“You always will go poking into town in your working clothes. Beg you to change how I will, ’tis no use.”
"You always go into town in your work clothes. I’ve asked you to change, but it’s no use."
“Well, however, I was in my working clothes. Werrington saw me. ‘Ah, Mr. Smith! a fine morning; excellent weather for building,’ says he, out as loud and friendly as if I’d met him in some deep hollow, where he could get nobody else to speak to at all. ’Twas odd: for Werrington is one of the very ringleaders of the fast class.”
“Well, I was in my work clothes. Werrington noticed me. ‘Ah, Mr. Smith! A beautiful morning; perfect weather for construction,’ he says, loud and friendly, as if I’d bumped into him in some secluded spot where he couldn’t find anyone else to talk to. It was strange because Werrington is one of the main leaders of the upper class.”
At that moment a tap came to the door. The door was immediately opened by Mrs. Smith in person.
At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Mrs. Smith quickly opened it herself.
“You’ll excuse us, I’m sure, Mrs. Smith, but this beautiful spring weather was too much for us. Yes, and we could stay in no longer; and I took Mrs. Trewen upon my arm directly we’d had a cup of tea, and out we came. And seeing your beautiful crocuses in such a bloom, we’ve taken the liberty to enter. We’ll step round the garden, if you don’t mind.”
“You’ll forgive us, I’m sure, Mrs. Smith, but this lovely spring weather was too tempting for us. Yes, we couldn’t stay inside any longer, so I took Mrs. Trewen on my arm right after we had a cup of tea, and we came out. Seeing your beautiful crocuses in such bloom, we’ve taken the liberty to come in. We’ll walk around the garden, if that’s okay with you.”
“Not at all,” said Mrs. Smith; and they walked round the garden. She lifted her hands in amazement directly their backs were turned. “Goodness send us grace!”
“Not at all,” said Mrs. Smith; and they walked around the garden. She threw her hands up in disbelief as soon as their backs were turned. “Goodness, please give us strength!”
“Who be they?” said her husband.
“Who are they?” said her husband.
“Actually Mr. Trewen, the bank-manager, and his wife.”
“Actually, it's Mr. Trewen, the bank manager, and his wife.”
John Smith, staggered in mind, went out of doors and looked over the garden gate, to collect his ideas. He had not been there two minutes when wheels were heard, and a carriage and pair rolled along the road. A distinguished-looking lady, with the demeanour of a duchess, reclined within. When opposite Smith’s gate she turned her head, and instantly commanded the coachman to stop.
John Smith, feeling confused, stepped outside and glanced over the garden gate to gather his thoughts. He had barely been there for two minutes when he heard wheels, and a carriage pulled by two horses came down the road. A sophisticated-looking woman, exuding the elegance of a duchess, was lounging inside. When she reached Smith’s gate, she turned her head and immediately instructed the coachman to stop.
“Ah, Mr. Smith, I am glad to see you looking so well. I could not help stopping a moment to congratulate you and Mrs. Smith upon the happiness you must enjoy. Joseph, you may drive on.”
“Hey, Mr. Smith, I’m really happy to see you looking so good. I couldn’t help but stop for a moment to congratulate you and Mrs. Smith on the happiness you must be experiencing. Joseph, you can go ahead and drive on.”
And the carriage rolled away towards St. Launce’s.
And the carriage drove off towards St. Launce’s.
Out rushed Mrs. Smith from behind a laurel-bush, where she had stood pondering.
Out rushed Mrs. Smith from behind a laurel bush, where she had been thinking.
“Just going to touch my hat to her,” said John; “just for all the world as I would have to poor Lady Luxellian years ago.”
“Just going to tip my hat to her,” said John; “just like I would have done for poor Lady Luxellian years ago.”
“Lord! who is she?”
"Wow! Who is she?"
“The public-house woman—what’s her name? Mrs.—Mrs.—at the Falcon.”
“The bar woman—what’s her name? Mrs.—Mrs.—at the Falcon.”
“Public-house woman. The clumsiness of the Smith family! You MIGHT say the landlady of the Falcon Hotel, since we are in for politeness. The people are ridiculous enough, but give them their due.”
“Pub owner. The Smith family's clumsiness! You could call her the landlady of the Falcon Hotel, since we’re going for politeness. The people are pretty ridiculous, but they deserve some credit.”
The possibility is that Mrs. Smith was getting mollified, in spite of herself, by these remarkably friendly phenomena among the people of St. Launce’s. And in justice to them it was quite desirable that she should do so. The interest which the unpractised ones of this town expressed so grotesquely was genuine of its kind, and equal in intrinsic worth to the more polished smiles of larger communities.
The chance is that Mrs. Smith was softening, despite her intentions, because of the exceptionally friendly attitudes among the people of St. Launce’s. And to be fair to them, it was definitely a good thing for her to do so. The interest that the inexperienced folks in this town showed, albeit in a bizarre way, was genuine and just as valuable as the more refined smiles from bigger communities.
By this time Mr. and Mrs. Trewen were returning from the garden.
By this time, Mr. and Mrs. Trewen were coming back from the garden.
“I’ll ask ’em flat,” whispered John to his wife. “I’ll say, ‘We be in a fog—you’ll excuse my asking a question, Mr. and Mrs. Trewen. How is it you all be so friendly to-day?’ Hey? ’Twould sound right and sensible, wouldn’t it?”
“I’ll ask them directly,” whispered John to his wife. “I’ll say, ‘We’re a bit confused—you’ll excuse me for asking, Mr. and Mrs. Trewen. Why is it that you’re all so friendly today?’ Right? It would sound reasonable, wouldn’t it?”
“Not a word! Good mercy, when will the man have manners!”
“Not a word! Goodness, when will the guy have some manners!”
“It must be a proud moment for you, I am sure, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, to have a son so celebrated,” said the bank-manager advancing.
“It must be a proud moment for you, I’m sure, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, to have a son who's so well-known,” said the bank manager as he approached.
“Ah, ’tis Stephen—I knew it!” said Mrs. Smith triumphantly to herself.
“Ah, it’s Stephen—I knew it!” Mrs. Smith said triumphantly to herself.
“We don’t know particulars,” said John.
“We don’t know the details,” said John.
“Not know!”
"Don’t know!"
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Why, ’tis all over town. Our worthy Mayor alluded to it in a speech at the dinner last night of the Every-Man-his-own-Maker Club.”
“Why, it's all over town. Our esteemed Mayor mentioned it in a speech at the dinner last night for the Every-Man-His-Own-Maker Club.”
“And what about Stephen?” urged Mrs. Smith.
“And what about Stephen?” pressed Mrs. Smith.
“Why, your son has been feted by deputy-governors and Parsee princes and nobody-knows-who in India; is hand in glove with nabobs, and is to design a large palace, and cathedral, and hospitals, colleges, halls, and fortifications, by the general consent of the ruling powers, Christian and Pagan alike.”
“Your son has been celebrated by deputy governors and Parsee princes and all sorts of important people in India; he’s in close with wealthy elites, and is set to design a large palace, a cathedral, hospitals, colleges, halls, and fortifications, with the approval of the ruling authorities, both Christian and Pagan.”
“’Twas sure to come to the boy,” said Mr. Smith unassumingly.
“It's bound to happen to the boy,” said Mr. Smith casually.
“’Tis in yesterday’s St. Launce’s Chronicle; and our worthy Mayor in the chair introduced the subject into his speech last night in a masterly manner.”
“It was in yesterday’s St. Launce’s Chronicle; and our esteemed Mayor brought up the topic in his speech last night in a skillful way.”
“’Twas very good of the worthy Mayor in the chair I’m sure,” said Stephen’s mother. “I hope the boy will have the sense to keep what he’s got; but as for men, they are a simple sex. Some woman will hook him.”
“ It was very kind of the respected Mayor to do that, I’m sure,” said Stephen’s mother. “I hope the boy has the sense to hold onto what he has; but when it comes to men, they’re a simple lot. Some woman will snag him.”
“Well, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the evening closes in, and we must be going; and remember this, that every Saturday when you come in to market, you are to make our house as your own. There will be always a tea-cup and saucer for you, as you know there has been for months, though you may have forgotten it. I’m a plain-speaking woman, and what I say I mean.”
“Well, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the evening is winding down, and we need to be on our way; and keep this in mind, that every Saturday when you come to the market, you should make our home yours. There will always be a teacup and saucer waiting for you, as you know there has been for months, even if you may have forgotten. I'm a straightforward woman, and I mean what I say.”
When the visitors were gone, and the sun had set, and the moon’s rays were just beginning to assert themselves upon the walls of the dwelling, John Smith and his wife sat dawn to the newspaper they had hastily procured from the town. And when the reading was done, they considered how best to meet the new social requirements settling upon them, which Mrs. Smith considered could be done by new furniture and house enlargement alone.
When the visitors left, the sun set, and the moonlight started to shine on the walls of their home, John Smith and his wife sat down with the newspaper they had quickly gotten from town. After finishing the reading, they thought about how to meet the new social expectations they were facing, which Mrs. Smith believed could be addressed by getting new furniture and expanding the house.
“And, John, mind one thing,” she said in conclusion. “In writing to Stephen, never by any means mention the name of Elfride Swancourt again. We’ve left the place, and know no more about her except by hearsay. He seems to be getting free of her, and glad am I for it. It was a cloudy hour for him when he first set eyes upon the girl. That family’s been no good to him, first or last; so let them keep their blood to themselves if they want to. He thinks of her, I know, but not so hopelessly. So don’t try to know anything about her, and we can’t answer his questions. She may die out of his mind then.”
“And, John, remember one thing,” she said in conclusion. “When you write to Stephen, don’t ever mention Elfride Swancourt again. We’ve left that place and don’t know anything about her except what we’ve heard. It seems like he’s moving on from her, and I’m glad about that. It was a rough time for him when he first saw her. That family hasn’t done him any good, now or before; so let them keep their blood to themselves if that’s what they want. I know he thinks about her, but not as hopelessly as before. So don’t try to find out anything about her, and we can’t answer his questions. Maybe she’ll fade from his mind then.”
“That shall be it,” said John.
"That's it," John said.
Chapter XXXVII
“After many days.”
"After several days."
Knight roamed south, under colour of studying Continental antiquities.
Knight traveled south, pretending to study European ancient artifacts.
He paced the lofty aisles of Amiens, loitered by Ardennes Abbey, climbed into the strange towers of Laon, analyzed Noyon and Rheims. Then he went to Chartres, and examined its scaly spires and quaint carving then he idled about Coutances. He rowed beneath the base of Mont St. Michel, and caught the varied skyline of the crumbling edifices encrusting it. St. Ouen’s, Rouen, knew him for days; so did Vezelay, Sens, and many a hallowed monument besides. Abandoning the inspection of early French art with the same purposeless haste as he had shown in undertaking it, he went further, and lingered about Ferrara, Padua, and Pisa. Satiated with mediævalism, he tried the Roman Forum. Next he observed moonlight and starlight effects by the bay of Naples. He turned to Austria, became enervated and depressed on Hungarian and Bohemian plains, and was refreshed again by breezes on the declivities of the Carpathians.
He walked through the tall aisles of Amiens, hung out by Ardennes Abbey, climbed the unique towers of Laon, and explored Noyon and Rheims. Then he headed to Chartres, checking out its textured spires and unique carvings before he strolled around Coutances. He rowed beneath Mont St. Michel and admired the varied skyline of the crumbling buildings surrounding it. St. Ouen’s in Rouen recognized him for days, and so did Vézelay, Sens, and many other sacred monuments. He abandoned his exploration of early French art with the same aimless urgency with which he had started and moved on, lingering in Ferrara, Padua, and Pisa. Tired of medieval themes, he ventured to the Roman Forum. Next, he took in the effects of moonlight and starlight by the Bay of Naples. He traveled to Austria, feeling drained and downcast over the Hungarian and Bohemian plains, but he felt revitalized again by the breezes on the slopes of the Carpathians.
Then he found himself in Greece. He visited the plain of Marathon, and strove to imagine the Persian defeat; to Mars Hill, to picture St. Paul addressing the ancient Athenians; to Thermopylae and Salamis, to run through the facts and traditions of the Second Invasion—the result of his endeavours being more or less chaotic. Knight grew as weary of these places as of all others. Then he felt the shock of an earthquake in the Ionian Islands, and went to Venice. Here he shot in gondolas up and down the winding thoroughfare of the Grand Canal, and loitered on calle and piazza at night, when the lagunes were undisturbed by a ripple, and no sound was to be heard but the stroke of the midnight clock. Afterwards he remained for weeks in the museums, galleries, and libraries of Vienna, Berlin, and Paris; and thence came home.
Then he found himself in Greece. He visited the plain of Marathon, trying to imagine the Persian defeat; he went to Mars Hill to picture St. Paul speaking to the ancient Athenians; to Thermopylae and Salamis, to go over the facts and traditions of the Second Invasion—the result of his efforts being more or less chaotic. Knight grew just as tired of these places as he did of all the others. Then he felt the shock of an earthquake in the Ionian Islands and went to Venice. There, he rode gondolas up and down the winding paths of the Grand Canal and hung out on streets and squares at night when the lagoons were calm and silent, with only the sound of the midnight clock echoing. Afterwards, he spent weeks in the museums, galleries, and libraries of Vienna, Berlin, and Paris, and then he came home.
Time thus rolls us on to a February afternoon, divided by fifteen months from the parting of Elfride and her lover in the brown stubble field towards the sea.
Time carries us to a February afternoon, fifteen months after Elfride and her lover parted in the brown stubble field by the sea.
Two men obviously not Londoners, and with a touch of foreignness in their look, met by accident on one of the gravel walks leading across Hyde Park. The younger, more given to looking about him than his fellow, saw and noticed the approach of his senior some time before the latter had raised his eyes from the ground, upon which they were bent in an abstracted gaze that seemed habitual with him.
Two men who clearly weren't from London, and had a hint of foreignness in their appearance, ran into each other by chance on one of the gravel paths going through Hyde Park. The younger man, who was more inclined to observe his surroundings than his companion, noticed his older counterpart approaching long before the latter lifted his gaze from the ground, where it seemed he had been absentmindedly focused for a while.
“Mr. Knight—indeed it is!” exclaimed the younger man.
“Mr. Knight—totally, it is!” exclaimed the younger man.
“Ah, Stephen Smith!” said Knight.
“Hey, Stephen Smith!” said Knight.
Simultaneous operations might now have been observed progressing in both, the result being that an expression less frank and impulsive than the first took possession of their features. It was manifest that the next words uttered were a superficial covering to constraint on both sides.
Simultaneous actions might now have been seen happening in both, resulting in a look that was less open and spontaneous than the first taking over their faces. It was clear that the next words spoken were just a thin disguise for the tension on both sides.
“Have you been in England long?” said Knight.
“Have you been in England for a while?” said Knight.
“Only two days,” said Smith.
“Just two days,” said Smith.
“India ever since?”
"India since then?"
“Nearly ever since.”
"Almost ever since."
“They were making a fuss about you at St. Launce’s last year. I fancy I saw something of the sort in the papers.”
“They were making a big deal about you at St. Launce’s last year. I think I saw something about that in the papers.”
“Yes; I believe something was said about me.”
“Yes; I think someone mentioned me.”
“I must congratulate you on your achievements.”
“I have to congratulate you on your accomplishments.”
“Thanks, but they are nothing very extraordinary. A natural professional progress where there was no opposition.”
“Thanks, but they aren't anything special. Just a normal career advancement where there were no challenges.”
There followed that want of words which will always assert itself between nominal friends who find they have ceased to be real ones, and have not yet sunk to the level of mere acquaintance. Each looked up and down the Park. Knight may possibly have borne in mind during the intervening months Stephen’s manner towards him the last time they had met, and may have encouraged his former interest in Stephen’s welfare to die out of him as misplaced. Stephen certainly was full of the feelings begotten by the belief that Knight had taken away the woman he loved so well.
There was an uncomfortable silence that often occurs between friends who realize they’re no longer close but haven’t quite become just acquaintances. Each of them scanned the park. Knight might have remembered how Stephen had treated him the last time they met and possibly let go of his previous concern for Stephen’s well-being, thinking it was misdirected. Stephen was definitely consumed by the emotions stemming from the belief that Knight had taken the woman he loved deeply.
Stephen Smith then asked a question, adopting a certain recklessness of manner and tone to hide, if possible, the fact that the subject was a much greater one to him than his friend had ever supposed.
Stephen Smith then asked a question, adopting a somewhat reckless attitude and tone to conceal, if possible, the fact that the topic was much more significant to him than his friend ever realized.
“Are you married?”
"Are you hitched?"
“I am not.”
"I'm not."
Knight spoke in an indescribable tone of bitterness that was almost moroseness.
Knight spoke in a tone of bitterness that was almost gloomy.
“And I never shall be,” he added decisively. “Are you?”
“And I never will be,” he said firmly. “Are you?”
“No,” said Stephen, sadly and quietly, like a man in a sick-room. Totally ignorant whether or not Knight knew of his own previous claims upon Elfride, he yet resolved to hazard a few more words upon the topic which had an aching fascination for him even now.
“No,” Stephen said sadly and quietly, like someone in a hospital room. Completely unaware of whether Knight was aware of his past claims on Elfride, he still decided to take a chance and say a few more words on the topic that still had a painful fascination for him.
“Then your engagement to Miss Swancourt came to nothing,” he said. “You remember I met you with her once?”
“Then your engagement to Miss Swancourt didn’t work out,” he said. “Do you remember I ran into you with her once?”
Stephen’s voice gave way a little here, in defiance of his firmest will to the contrary. Indian affairs had not yet lowered those emotions down to the point of control.
Stephen’s voice cracked a bit here, despite his strongest desire for it not to. Indian affairs hadn’t yet dulled those feelings enough for him to keep them in check.
“It was broken off,” came quickly from Knight. “Engagements to marry often end like that—for better or for worse.”
“It was called off,” Knight said quickly. “Engagements often end like that—whether for better or worse.”
“Yes; so they do. And what have you been doing lately?”
“Yes, they do. So, what have you been up to lately?”
“Doing? Nothing.”
"What's up? Nothing."
“Where have you been?”
"Where have you been?"
“I can hardly tell you. In the main, going about Europe; and it may perhaps interest you to know that I have been attempting the serious study of Continental art of the Middle Ages. My notes on each example I visited are at your service. They are of no use to me.”
“I can barely explain. Mostly, I’ve been traveling around Europe; and it might interest you to know that I've been seriously studying Continental art from the Middle Ages. My notes on each example I visited are available to you. They’re of no use to me.”
“I shall be glad with them....Oh, travelling far and near!”
“I will be happy with them....Oh, traveling near and far!”
“Not far,” said Knight, with moody carelessness. “You know, I daresay, that sheep occasionally become giddy—hydatids in the head, ’tis called, in which their brains become eaten up, and the animal exhibits the strange peculiarity of walking round and round in a circle continually. I have travelled just in the same way—round and round like a giddy ram.”
“Not far,” said Knight, with a brooding indifference. “You know, I suppose, that sheep can sometimes get dizzy—it's called hydatids in the head, where their brains get eaten away, and the animal has this odd habit of walking in circles over and over. I’ve traveled the same way—going round and round like a dizzy ram.”
The reckless, bitter, and rambling style in which Knight talked, as if rather to vent his images than to convey any ideas to Stephen, struck the young man painfully. His former friend’s days had become cankered in some way: Knight was a changed man. He himself had changed much, but not as Knight had changed.
The reckless, bitter, and rambling way Knight spoke, as if he aimed more to express his thoughts than to share any ideas with Stephen, hit the young man hard. His former friend seemed to be suffering in some way: Knight was different now. He had changed a lot too, but not in the same way that Knight had.
“Yesterday I came home,” continued Knight, “without having, to the best of my belief, imbibed half-a-dozen ideas worth retaining.”
“Yesterday I got home,” Knight continued, “without, to the best of my knowledge, having absorbed half a dozen ideas worth keeping.”
“You out-Hamlet Hamlet in morbidness of mood,” said Stephen, with regretful frankness.
“You're more Hamlet than Hamlet when it comes to your gloomy mood,” Stephen said, honestly regretting it.
Knight made no reply.
Knight didn't respond.
“Do you know,” Stephen continued, “I could almost have sworn that you would be married before this time, from what I saw?”
“Do you know,” Stephen continued, “I could have sworn that you would be married by now, based on what I saw?”
Knight’s face grew harder. “Could you?” he said.
Knight's expression turned stern. "Could you?" he asked.
Stephen was powerless to forsake the depressing, luring subject.
Stephen couldn't resist the depressing, enticing topic.
“Yes; and I simply wonder at it.”
“Yes; and I just find it amazing.”
“Whom did you expect me to marry?”
“Who did you think I would marry?”
“Her I saw you with.”
“Her, I saw you with.”
“Thank you for that wonder.”
“Thanks for that wonder.”
“Did she jilt you?”
“Did she leave you hanging?”
“Smith, now one word to you,” Knight returned steadily. “Don’t you ever question me on that subject. I have a reason for making this request, mind. And if you do question me, you will not get an answer.”
“Smith, I need to say this to you,” Knight replied calmly. “Don’t ever question me on that topic. I have my reasons for making this request, you know. And if you do question me, you won’t get an answer.”
“Oh, I don’t for a moment wish to ask what is unpleasant to you—not I. I had a momentary feeling that I should like to explain something on my side, and hear a similar explanation on yours. But let it go, let it go, by all means.”
“Oh, I definitely don't want to bring up anything that makes you uncomfortable—not at all. I briefly felt like I wanted to share something from my side and hear something similar from you. But never mind, just forget it.”
“What would you explain?”
"What would you clarify?"
“I lost the woman I was going to marry: you have not married as you intended. We might have compared notes.”
“I lost the woman I was going to marry: you haven't married as you had planned. We could have shared our experiences.”
“I have never asked you a word about your case.”
“I’ve never asked you anything about your case.”
“I know that.”
“I get that.”
“And the inference is obvious.”
"And it's clear what it means."
“Quite so.”
"Exactly."
“The truth is, Stephen, I have doggedly resolved never to allude to the matter—for which I have a very good reason.”
“The truth is, Stephen, I have stubbornly decided never to mention it—there's a very good reason for that.”
“Doubtless. As good a reason as you had for not marrying her.”
“Definitely. Just as good a reason as you had for not marrying her.”
“You talk insidiously. I had a good one—a miserably good one!”
“You speak in a sneaky way. I had one that was really good—a painfully good one!”
Smith’s anxiety urged him to venture one more question.
Smith's anxiety pushed him to ask one more question.
“Did she not love you enough?” He drew his breath in a slow and attenuated stream, as he waited in timorous hope for the answer.
“Did she not love you enough?” He took a slow, deep breath, anxiously waiting for the answer.
“Stephen, you rather strain ordinary courtesy in pressing questions of that kind after what I have said. I cannot understand you at all. I must go on now.”
“Stephen, you're really pushing the limits of basic politeness by asking questions like that after what I’ve said. I just don’t get you at all. I need to move on now.”
“Why, good God!” exclaimed Stephen passionately, “you talk as if you hadn’t at all taken her away from anybody who had better claims to her than you!”
“Why, oh my God!” Stephen exclaimed passionately, “you talk as if you didn’t take her away from someone who had better claims to her than you!”
“What do you mean by that?” said Knight, with a puzzled air. “What have you heard?”
“What do you mean by that?” Knight asked, looking confused. “What have you heard?”
“Nothing. I too must go on. Good-day.”
“Nothing. I have to keep moving on. Have a good day.”
“If you will go,” said Knight, reluctantly now, “you must, I suppose. I am sure I cannot understand why you behave so.”
“If you're going,” Knight said, now reluctantly, “I guess you must. I really don't understand why you're acting like this.”
“Nor I why you do. I have always been grateful to you, and as far as I am concerned we need never have become so estranged as we have.”
“Nor do I know why you do. I have always appreciated you, and as far as I'm concerned, we never needed to become as distant as we have.”
“And have I ever been anything but well-disposed towards you, Stephen? Surely you know that I have not! The system of reserve began with you: you know that.”
“And have I ever been anything but friendly towards you, Stephen? Surely you know I haven't! The whole thing about holding back started with you: you know that.”
“No, no! You altogether mistake our position. You were always from the first reserved to me, though I was confidential to you. That was, I suppose, the natural issue of our differing positions in life. And when I, the pupil, became reserved like you, the master, you did not like it. However, I was going to ask you to come round and see me.”
“No, no! You completely misunderstand where we stand. You’ve always kept your distance from me, even though I was open with you. I guess that was just a natural result of our different places in life. And when I, as the student, started to be distant like you, the teacher, you didn’t like it. Anyway, I was about to invite you to come over and see me.”
“Where are you staying?”
"Where are you staying?"
“At the Grosvenor Hotel, Pimlico.”
“At the Grosvenor Hotel, Pimlico.”
“So am I.”
"Me too."
“That’s convenient, not to say odd. Well, I am detained in London for a day or two; then I am going down to see my father and mother, who live at St. Launce’s now. Will you see me this evening?”
"That's convenient, to say the least. Anyway, I'm stuck in London for a day or two; then I'm heading to visit my parents, who now live in St. Launce's. Will you meet me this evening?"
“I may; but I will not promise. I was wishing to be alone for an hour or two; but I shall know where to find you, at any rate. Good-bye.”
“I might, but I won’t make any promises. I wanted to have some alone time for an hour or two; but I’ll know where to find you, anyway. Bye.”
Chapter XXXVIII
“Jealousy is cruel as the grave.”
“Jealousy is as harsh as death.”
Stephen pondered not a little on this meeting with his old friend and once-beloved exemplar. He was grieved, for amid all the distractions of his latter years a still small voice of fidelity to Knight had lingered on in him. Perhaps this staunchness was because Knight ever treated him as a mere disciple—even to snubbing him sometimes; and had at last, though unwittingly, inflicted upon him the greatest snub of all, that of taking away his sweetheart. The emotional side of his constitution was built rather after a feminine than a male model; and that tremendous wound from Knight’s hand may have tended to keep alive a warmth which solicitousness would have extinguished altogether.
Stephen thought a lot about his meeting with his old friend and former role model. He felt sad because, despite all the distractions in his later years, a quiet loyalty to Knight had remained within him. Perhaps this loyalty was because Knight always treated him like just a student—even ignoring him sometimes; and in the end, though unintentionally, he had dealt him the worst blow of all by taking away his girlfriend. Stephen's emotional makeup was more aligned with a feminine style than a masculine one, and that deep wound from Knight's actions might have helped keep a warmth alive that concern would have completely snuffed out.
Knight, on his part, was vexed, after they had parted, that he had not taken Stephen in hand a little after the old manner. Those words which Smith had let fall concerning somebody having a prior claim to Elfride, would, if uttered when the man was younger, have provoked such a query as, “Come, tell me all about it, my lad,” from Knight, and Stephen would straightway have delivered himself of all he knew on the subject.
Knight was frustrated after they parted that he hadn’t confronted Stephen in the old way. The comments Smith made about someone having a prior claim on Elfride would have sparked a question like, “Come on, tell me everything about it, my boy,” from Knight when he was younger, and Stephen would have immediately shared whatever he knew on the topic.
Stephen the ingenuous boy, though now obliterated externally by Stephen the contriving man, returned to Knight’s memory vividly that afternoon. He was at present but a sojourner in London; and after attending to the two or three matters of business which remained to be done that day, he walked abstractedly into the gloomy corridors of the British Museum for the half-hour previous to their closing. That meeting with Smith had reunited the present with the past, closing up the chasm of his absence from England as if it had never existed, until the final circumstances of his previous time of residence in London formed but a yesterday to the circumstances now. The conflict that then had raged in him concerning Elfride Swancourt revived, strengthened by its sleep. Indeed, in those many months of absence, though quelling the intention to make her his wife, he had never forgotten that she was the type of woman adapted to his nature; and instead of trying to obliterate thoughts of her altogether, he had grown to regard them as an infirmity it was necessary to tolerate.
Stephen, the innocent boy, though now overshadowed by Stephen, the scheming man, came back to Knight’s mind clearly that afternoon. He was currently just a visitor in London; and after taking care of the few remaining tasks he had for the day, he wandered absentmindedly into the dim hallways of the British Museum for the half-hour before it closed. His meeting with Smith had connected his present with his past, bridging the gap of his time away from England as if it had never happened, so that his previous life in London felt just like yesterday compared to his current situation. The inner turmoil he once felt about Elfride Swancourt resurfaced, now even stronger after being dormant. In those many months away, although he had suppressed his desire to marry her, he had never forgotten that she was the kind of woman who fit with him; instead of trying to completely erase thoughts of her, he had come to see them as a weakness he needed to accept.
Knight returned to his hotel much earlier in the evening than he would have done in the ordinary course of things. He did not care to think whether this arose from a friendly wish to close the gap that had slowly been widening between himself and his earliest acquaintance, or from a hankering desire to hear the meaning of the dark oracles Stephen had hastily pronounced, betokening that he knew something more of Elfride than Knight had supposed.
Knight got back to his hotel much earlier that evening than he usually would have. He didn’t want to think about whether this was because he wanted to bridge the gap that had been slowly widening between him and his first friend, or from a strong desire to understand the mysterious remarks Stephen had quickly made, suggesting he knew more about Elfride than Knight had assumed.
He made a hasty dinner, inquired for Smith, and soon was ushered into the young man’s presence, whom he found sitting in front of a comfortable fire, beside a table spread with a few scientific periodicals and art reviews.
He quickly prepared dinner, asked for Smith, and was soon led into the young man’s presence, where he found him sitting in front of a cozy fire, next to a table covered with a few science magazines and art reviews.
“I have come to you, after all,” said Knight. “My manner was odd this morning, and it seemed desirable to call; but that you had too much sense to notice, Stephen, I know. Put it down to my wanderings in France and Italy.”
“I’ve come to see you, after all,” said Knight. “I was a bit strange this morning, and I thought it would be good to reach out; but I know you were too smart to pay attention to that, Stephen. Just blame it on my travels in France and Italy.”
“Don’t say another word, but sit down. I am only too glad to see you again.”
“Don’t say another word, just sit down. I’m really happy to see you again.”
Stephen would hardly have cared to tell Knight just then that the minute before Knight was announced he had been reading over some old letters of Elfride’s. They were not many; and until to-night had been sealed up, and stowed away in a corner of his leather trunk, with a few other mementoes and relics which had accompanied him in his travels. The familiar sights and sounds of London, the meeting with his friend, had with him also revived that sense of abiding continuity with regard to Elfride and love which his absence at the other side of the world had to some extent suspended, though never ruptured. He at first intended only to look over these letters on the outside; then he read one; then another; until the whole was thus re-used as a stimulus to sad memories. He folded them away again, placed them in his pocket, and instead of going on with an examination into the state of the artistic world, had remained musing on the strange circumstance that he had returned to find Knight not the husband of Elfride after all.
Stephen wouldn't have wanted to tell Knight right then that just a minute before Knight was announced, he had been going through some old letters from Elfride. There weren't many, and until tonight they had been sealed up and tucked away in a corner of his leather trunk, alongside a few other keepsakes and mementos from his travels. The familiar sights and sounds of London, along with meeting his friend, had also brought back that enduring connection he felt toward Elfride and love, which his time away on the other side of the world had somewhat put on hold but never completely severed. Initially, he planned to only glance at the letters from the outside; then he read one, then another, until he ended up using them as a prompt for bittersweet memories. He folded them up again, put them in his pocket, and instead of continuing to explore the state of the art world, he remained lost in thought about the strange fact that he had returned to find Knight not married to Elfride after all.
The possibility of any given gratification begets a cumulative sense of its necessity. Stephen gave the rein to his imagination, and felt more intensely than he had felt for many months that, without Elfride, his life would never be any great pleasure to himself, or honour to his Maker.
The chance of any pleasure creates a growing sense of needing it. Stephen let his imagination run wild and felt more strongly than he had in months that, without Elfride, his life would never be truly enjoyable for him or pleasing to his creator.
They sat by the fire, chatting on external and random subjects, neither caring to be the first to approach the matter each most longed to discuss. On the table with the periodicals lay two or three pocket-books, one of them being open. Knight seeing from the exposed page that the contents were sketches only, began turning the leaves over carelessly with his finger. When, some time later, Stephen was out of the room, Knight proceeded to pass the interval by looking at the sketches more carefully.
They sat by the fire, talking about random topics, neither wanting to be the first to bring up the subject they both wanted to discuss. On the table with the magazines were a couple of notebooks, one of which was open. Knight noticed from the visible page that it only had sketches, so he started flipping through the pages casually with his finger. After a while, when Stephen was out of the room, Knight took the opportunity to look at the sketches more closely.
The first crude ideas, pertaining to dwellings of all kinds, were roughly outlined on the different pages. Antiquities had been copied; fragments of Indian columns, colossal statues, and outlandish ornament from the temples of Elephanta and Kenneri, were carelessly intruded upon by outlines of modern doors, windows, roofs, cooking-stoves, and household furniture; everything, in short, which comes within the range of a practising architect’s experience, who travels with his eyes open. Among these occasionally appeared rough delineations of mediaeval subjects for carving or illumination—heads of Virgins, Saints, and Prophets.
The initial basic ideas about all types of buildings were roughly sketched on various pages. Designs from ancient times had been replicated; pieces of Indian columns, huge statues, and strange decorations from the temples of Elephanta and Kenneri were randomly mixed in with sketches of modern doors, windows, roofs, stoves, and home furniture—essentially everything that falls within the experience of an architect who travels with their eyes open. Alongside these, there were sometimes rough designs of medieval subjects for carving or lighting—images of Virgins, Saints, and Prophets.
Stephen was not professedly a free-hand draughtsman, but he drew the human figure with correctness and skill. In its numerous repetitions on the sides and edges of the leaves, Knight began to notice a peculiarity. All the feminine saints had one type of feature. There were large nimbi and small nimbi about their drooping heads, but the face was always the same. That profile—how well Knight knew that profile!
Stephen wasn't officially a free-hand artist, but he drew the human figure accurately and skillfully. In the many repetitions on the sides and edges of the leaves, Knight started to notice something unusual. All the female saints had the same type of features. There were large and small halos around their drooping heads, but the faces were always identical. That profile—how well Knight recognized that profile!
Had there been but one specimen of the familiar countenance, he might have passed over the resemblance as accidental; but a repetition meant more. Knight thought anew of Smith’s hasty words earlier in the day, and looked at the sketches again and again.
Had there been just one example of the familiar face, he might have dismissed the resemblance as a coincidence; but seeing it repeatedly meant something more. Knight recalled Smith’s hurried words from earlier in the day and examined the sketches over and over.
On the young man’s entry, Knight said with palpable agitation—
On the young man's arrival, Knight said with noticeable anxiety—
“Stephen, who are those intended for?”
“Stephen, who are those meant for?”
Stephen looked over the book with utter unconcern, “Saints and angels, done in my leisure moments. They were intended as designs for the stained glass of an English church.”
Stephen glanced at the book with complete indifference, “Saints and angels, created in my free time. They were meant to be designs for the stained glass of an English church.”
“But whom do you idealize by that type of woman you always adopt for the Virgin?”
“But who do you admire with that type of woman you always choose for the Virgin?”
“Nobody.”
"Nobody."
And then a thought raced along Stephen’s mind and he looked up at his friend.
And then a thought raced through Stephen’s mind, and he looked up at his friend.
The truth is, Stephen’s introduction of Elfride’s lineaments had been so unconscious that he had not at first understood his companion’s drift. The hand, like the tongue, easily acquires the trick of repetition by rote, without calling in the mind to assist at all; and this had been the case here. Young men who cannot write verses about their Loves generally take to portraying them, and in the early days of his attachment Smith had never been weary of outlining Elfride. The lay-figure of Stephen’s sketches now initiated an adjustment of many things. Knight had recognized her. The opportunity of comparing notes had come unsought.
The truth is, Stephen's introduction of Elfride's features was so instinctive that he didn't initially realize what his companion was getting at. Just like speaking, the hand can easily develop the habit of repeating things automatically, without involving the mind at all; and that’s what happened here. Young men who can't write love poems often end up trying to capture their feelings through art, and in the early days of his feelings for her, Smith had never tired of sketching Elfride. Stephen's sketches now sparked a reevaluation of many things. Knight had recognized her. The chance to share insights had presented itself unexpectedly.
“Elfride Swancourt, to whom I was engaged,” he said quietly.
“Elfride Swancourt, to whom I was engaged,” he said softly.
“Stephen!”
“Steve!”
“I know what you mean by speaking like that.”
“I get what you're saying by putting it that way.”
“Was it Elfride? YOU the man, Stephen?”
“Was it Elfride? YOU the guy, Stephen?”
“Yes; and you are thinking why did I conceal the fact from you that time at Endelstow, are you not?”
“Yes; and you’re wondering why I hid that from you back at Endelstow, right?”
“Yes, and more—more.”
"Yes, and more—more."
“I did it for the best; blame me if you will; I did it for the best. And now say how could I be with you afterwards as I had been before?”
“I did it for the best; go ahead and blame me if you want; I did it for the best. And now tell me, how could I be with you afterwards like I was before?”
“I don’t know at all; I can’t say.”
“I really have no idea; I can't say.”
Knight remained fixed in thought, and once he murmured—
Knight stayed deep in thought, and once he quietly said—
“I had a suspicion this afternoon that there might be some such meaning in your words about my taking her away. But I dismissed it. How came you to know her?” he presently asked, in almost a peremptory tone.
“I had a feeling this afternoon that there might be some hidden meaning in what you said about my taking her away. But I pushed it aside. How did you come to know her?” he asked, almost in a commanding tone.
“I went down about the church; years ago now.”
“I went down to the church; it was years ago now.”
“When you were with Hewby, of course, of course. Well, I can’t understand it.” His tones rose. “I don’t know what to say, your hoodwinking me like this for so long!”
“When you were with Hewby, of course, of course. Well, I can’t get it.” His voice got louder. “I don’t know what to say, you tricking me like this for so long!”
“I don’t see that I have hoodwinked you at all.”
“I don’t see that I’ve tricked you at all.”
“Yes, yes, but”——
"Sure, but"
Knight arose from his seat, and began pacing up and down the room. His face was markedly pale, and his voice perturbed, as he said—
Knight got up from his seat and started pacing back and forth in the room. His face was noticeably pale, and his voice was shaky as he said—
“You did not act as I should have acted towards you under those circumstances. I feel it deeply; and I tell you plainly, I shall never forget it!”
“You didn’t treat me the way I would have treated you in that situation. I feel it strongly, and I’m being honest when I say I’ll never forget it!”
“What?”
“Excuse me?”
“Your behaviour at that meeting in the family vault, when I told you we were going to be married. Deception, dishonesty, everywhere; all the world’s of a piece!”
“Your behavior at that meeting in the family vault, when I told you we were getting married. Deceit, dishonesty, everywhere; the whole world is like that!”
Stephen did not much like this misconstruction of his motives, even though it was but the hasty conclusion of a friend disturbed by emotion.
Stephen didn't really like this misunderstanding of his motives, even though it was just the quick assumption of a friend who was upset.
“I could do no otherwise than I did, with due regard to her,” he said stiffly.
"I couldn't have acted any differently, considering her," he said stiffly.
“Indeed!” said Knight, in the bitterest tone of reproach. “Nor could you with due regard to her have married her, I suppose! I have hoped—longed—that HE, who turns out to be YOU, would ultimately have done that.”
“Really!” said Knight, with the harshest tone of disappointment. “And I guess you couldn’t have married her with any respect for her, right? I’ve hoped—wanted—that HE, who turns out to be YOU, would have eventually done that.”
“I am much obliged to you for that hope. But you talk very mysteriously. I think I had about the best reason anybody could have had for not doing that.”
“I really appreciate that hope you gave me. But you’re speaking very mysteriously. I think I had one of the best reasons anyone could have had for not doing that.”
“Oh, what reason was it?”
“Oh, what was the reason?”
“That I could not.”
"I couldn't."
“You ought to have made an opportunity; you ought to do so now, in bare justice to her, Stephen!” cried Knight, carried beyond himself. “That you know very well, and it hurts and wounds me more than you dream to find you never have tried to make any reparation to a woman of that kind—so trusting, so apt to be run away with by her feelings—poor little fool, so much the worse for her!”
“You should have created an opportunity; you should do it now, out of basic fairness to her, Stephen!” Knight exclaimed, losing his composure. “You know this very well, and it pains me more than you can imagine to see that you’ve never tried to make amends to a woman like her—so trusting, so easily swept away by her emotions—poor little fool, so much the worse for her!”
“Why, you talk like a madman! You took her away from me, did you not?”
“Why are you talking like a crazy person? You took her away from me, didn’t you?”
“Picking up what another throws down can scarcely be called ‘taking away.’ However, we shall not agree too well upon that subject, so we had better part.”
“Picking up what someone else drops can't really be called ‘taking away.’ But we probably won't see eye to eye on that, so it's best if we go our separate ways.”
“But I am quite certain you misapprehend something most grievously,” said Stephen, shaken to the bottom of his heart. “What have I done; tell me? I have lost Elfride, but is that such a sin?”
“But I’m really sure you’ve misunderstood something seriously,” said Stephen, shaken to his core. “What have I done; please tell me? I’ve lost Elfride, but is that such a big deal?”
“Was it her doing, or yours?”
“Was that her doing, or yours?”
“Was what?”
"What was that?"
“That you parted.”
"You broke up."
“I will tell you honestly. It was hers entirely, entirely.”
“I'll be honest with you. It was all hers, completely.”
“What was her reason?”
“Why did she do that?”
“I can hardly say. But I’ll tell the story without reserve.”
"I can hardly say. But I'll tell the story openly."
Stephen until to-day had unhesitatingly held that she grew tired of him and turned to Knight; but he did not like to advance the statement now, or even to think the thought. To fancy otherwise accorded better with the hope to which Knight’s estrangement had given birth: that love for his friend was not the direct cause, but a result of her suspension of love for himself.
Stephen had always believed that she got tired of him and turned to Knight; but he didn’t want to say that now or even think it. Thinking differently fit better with the hope that Knight’s distance had created: that her love for his friend was not the main cause, but rather a result of her lack of love for him.
“Such a matter must not be allowed to breed discord between us,” Knight returned, relapsing into a manner which concealed all his true feeling, as if confidence now was intolerable. “I do see that your reticence towards me in the vault may have been dictated by prudential considerations.” He concluded artificially, “It was a strange thing altogether; but not of much importance, I suppose, at this distance of time; and it does not concern me now, though I don’t mind hearing your story.”
“Such a situation shouldn’t cause any conflict between us,” Knight replied, slipping back into a demeanor that hid his true emotions, as if showing confidence was too much to bear. “I realize that your hesitation towards me in the vault might have been for practical reasons.” He wrapped up unnaturally, “It was an odd situation altogether, but it doesn’t really matter much now, I guess, and it’s not my concern anymore, although I’m open to hearing your story.”
These words from Knight, uttered with such an air of renunciation and apparent indifference, prompted Smith to speak on—perhaps with a little complacency—of his old secret engagement to Elfride. He told the details of its origin, and the peremptory words and actions of her father to extinguish their love.
These words from Knight, said with such a sense of letting go and seeming indifference, made Smith start talking—maybe a bit self-satisfied—about his old secret engagement to Elfride. He shared the details of how it all began, along with her father's forceful words and actions to put an end to their love.
Knight persevered in the tone and manner of a disinterested outsider. It had become more than ever imperative to screen his emotions from Stephen’s eye; the young man would otherwise be less frank, and their meeting would be again embittered. What was the use of untoward candour?
Knight kept up the tone and demeanor of someone who wasn't involved. It had become even more crucial to hide his feelings from Stephen; otherwise, the young man would be less open, and their encounter would be strained again. What was the point of unwanted honesty?
Stephen had now arrived at the point in his ingenuous narrative where he left the vicarage because of her father’s manner. Knight’s interest increased. Their love seemed so innocent and childlike thus far.
Stephen had now reached the point in his straightforward story where he left the vicarage because of her father's attitude. Knight's curiosity grew. Their love felt so pure and innocent up to this point.
“It is a nice point in casuistry,” he observed, “to decide whether you were culpable or not in not telling Swancourt that your friends were parishioners of his. It was only human nature to hold your tongue under the circumstances. Well, what was the result of your dismissal by him?”
“It’s an interesting dilemma,” he noted, “to determine whether you were at fault for not informing Swancourt that your friends were part of his congregation. It’s only natural to stay silent in that situation. So, what happened after he let you go?”
“That we agreed to be secretly faithful. And to insure this we thought we would marry.”
“That we agreed to be quietly loyal to each other. And to make sure of this, we decided we would get married.”
Knight’s suspense and agitation rose higher when Stephen entered upon this phase of the subject.
Knight’s suspense and anxiety increased even more when Stephen started discussing this topic.
“Do you mind telling on?” he said, steadying his manner of speech.
“Do you mind continuing?” he said, calming his tone.
“Oh, not at all.”
"Oh, not really."
Then Stephen gave in full the particulars of the meeting with Elfride at the railway station; the necessity they were under of going to London, unless the ceremony were to be postponed. The long journey of the afternoon and evening; her timidity and revulsion of feeling; its culmination on reaching London; the crossing over to the down-platform and their immediate departure again, solely in obedience to her wish; the journey all night; their anxious watching for the dawn; their arrival at St. Launce’s at last—were detailed. And he told how a village woman named Jethway was the only person who recognized them, either going or coming; and how dreadfully this terrified Elfride. He told how he waited in the fields whilst this then reproachful sweetheart went for her pony, and how the last kiss he ever gave her was given a mile out of the town, on the way to Endelstow.
Then Stephen shared all the details of the meeting with Elfride at the train station; the need for them to go to London, unless the ceremony was going to be postponed. He recounted the long journey of that afternoon and evening; her nervousness and conflicting emotions; how everything peaked when they reached London; the transfer to the down-platform and their quick departure again, solely because of her request; the overnight journey; their anxious wait for dawn; and their eventual arrival at St. Launce’s. He mentioned how a village woman named Jethway was the only one who recognized them, either on their way there or back; how this scared Elfride terribly. He also described how he waited in the fields while this now-reproachful sweetheart went to get her pony, and how the last kiss he ever gave her happened a mile outside of town, on the way to Endelstow.
These things Stephen related with a will. He believed that in doing so he established word by word the reasonableness of his claim to Elfride.
These things Stephen shared eagerly. He believed that by doing this, he proved his case to Elfride step by step.
“Curse her! curse that woman!—that miserable letter that parted us! O God!”
“Damn her! Damn that woman!—that awful letter that broke us apart! Oh God!”
Knight began pacing the room again, and uttered this at further end.
Knight started pacing the room again and said this from the far end.
“What did you say?” said Stephen, turning round.
“What did you say?” Stephen asked, turning around.
“Say? Did I say anything? Oh, I was merely thinking about your story, and the oddness of my having a fancy for the same woman afterwards. And that now I—I have forgotten her almost; and neither of us care about her, except just as a friend, you know, eh?”
“Say? Did I say anything? Oh, I was just thinking about your story and how strange it is that I ended up liking the same woman later. And now, I—I’ve almost forgotten her; and neither of us really cares about her, just as a friend, you know, right?”
Knight still continued at the further end of the room, somewhat in shadow.
Knight was still at the far end of the room, partially in shadow.
“Exactly,” said Stephen, inwardly exultant, for he was really deceived by Knight’s off-hand manner.
“Exactly,” said Stephen, feeling secretly thrilled, because he was genuinely fooled by Knight’s casual attitude.
Yet he was deceived less by the completeness of Knight’s disguise than by the persuasive power which lay in the fact that Knight had never before deceived him in anything. So this supposition that his companion had ceased to love Elfride was an enormous lightening of the weight which had turned the scale against him.
Yet he was misled more by the thoroughness of Knight’s disguise than by the convincing force of the fact that Knight had never lied to him about anything before. So the belief that his companion had stopped loving Elfride was a huge relief that shifted the balance in his favor.
“Admitting that Elfride COULD love another man after you,” said the elder, under the same varnish of careless criticism, “she was none the worse for that experience.”
“Admitting that Elfride COULD love another man after you,” said the older man, with the same veneer of casual criticism, “she didn’t come out any worse for that experience.”
“The worse? Of course she was none the worse.”
“The worst? Of course she was no worse off.”
“Did you ever think it a wild and thoughtless thing for her to do?”
“Did you ever think it was a crazy and reckless thing for her to do?”
“Indeed, I never did,” said Stephen. “I persuaded her. She saw no harm in it until she decided to return, nor did I; nor was there, except to the extent of indiscretion.”
“Honestly, I never did,” said Stephen. “I convinced her. She didn’t see any problem with it until she chose to go back, and neither did I; there wasn’t, except for a bit of bad judgment.”
“Directly she thought it was wrong she would go no further?”
“Once she thought it was wrong, she wouldn’t continue any further?”
“That was it. I had just begun to think it wrong too.”
“That was it. I had just started to think it was wrong too.”
“Such a childish escapade might have been misrepresented by any evil-disposed person, might it not?”
“Such a childish adventure could easily be twisted by someone with bad intentions, right?”
“It might; but I never heard that it was. Nobody who really knew all the circumstances would have done otherwise than smile. If all the world had known it, Elfride would still have remained the only one who thought her action a sin. Poor child, she always persisted in thinking so, and was frightened more than enough.”
“It might; but I never heard that it was. Nobody who really knew all the circumstances would have done anything but smile. Even if the whole world had known it, Elfride would still have been the only one who thought her action was a sin. Poor girl, she always kept thinking that way, and was frightened more than enough.”
“Stephen, do you love her now?”
“Stephen, do you love her now?”
“Well, I like her; I always shall, you know,” he said evasively, and with all the strategy love suggested. “But I have not seen her for so long that I can hardly be expected to love her. Do you love her still?”
“Honestly, I like her; I always will, you know,” he said, being somewhat vague and using all the tactics love inspired. “But I haven't seen her in such a long time that it’s hard to expect me to still love her. Do you still love her?”
“How shall I answer without being ashamed? What fickle beings we men are, Stephen! Men may love strongest for a while, but women love longest. I used to love her—in my way, you know.”
“How should I respond without feeling embarrassed? What unpredictable creatures we are, Stephen! Men may love deeply for a time, but women love for the long haul. I used to love her—in my own way, you know.”
“Yes, I understand. Ah, and I used to love her in my way. In fact, I loved her a good deal at one time; but travel has a tendency to obliterate early fancies.”
“Yes, I get it. Ah, and I used to love her in my own way. Actually, I loved her quite a bit at one point; but traveling tends to erase those early crushes.”
“It has—it has, truly.”
"It really has."
Perhaps the most extraordinary feature in this conversation was the circumstance that, though each interlocutor had at first his suspicions of the other’s abiding passion awakened by several little acts, neither would allow himself to see that his friend might now be speaking deceitfully as well as he.
Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of this conversation was the fact that, although each participant initially had doubts about the other’s enduring feelings sparked by several small actions, neither was willing to admit that his friend could also be speaking insincerely.
“Stephen.” resumed Knight, “now that matters are smooth between us, I think I must leave you. You won’t mind my hurrying off to my quarters?”
“Stephen,” Knight continued, “now that things are good between us, I think I should head out. You don’t mind if I rush off to my room, right?”
“You’ll stay to some sort of supper surely? didn’t you come to dinner!”
“You're definitely staying for some kind of dinner, right? Didn’t you come for dinner?”
“You must really excuse me this once.”
“You really have to excuse me this time.”
“Then you’ll drop in to breakfast to-morrow.”
“Then you’ll come by for breakfast tomorrow.”
“I shall be rather pressed for time.”
“I’m going to be pretty short on time.”
“An early breakfast, which shall interfere with nothing?”
“An early breakfast that won't interfere with anything?”
“I’ll come,” said Knight, with as much readiness as it was possible to graft upon a huge stock of reluctance. “Yes, early; eight o’clock say, as we are under the same roof.”
“I’ll come,” said Knight, trying to sound willing despite his obvious reluctance. “Yeah, early; how about eight o’clock, since we’re in the same house?”
“Any time you like. Eight it shall be.”
“Any time you want. It’ll be eight.”
And Knight left him. To wear a mask, to dissemble his feelings as he had in their late miserable conversation, was such torture that he could support it no longer. It was the first time in Knight’s life that he had ever been so entirely the player of a part. And the man he had thus deceived was Stephen, who had docilely looked up to him from youth as a superior of unblemished integrity.
And Knight walked away from him. Putting on a facade, hiding his true feelings as he had during their recent painful conversation, was so torturous that he couldn’t handle it anymore. It was the first time in Knight’s life that he had completely played a role. And the man he had fooled was Stephen, who had always looked up to him since childhood as a person of unwavering integrity.
He went to bed, and allowed the fever of his excitement to rage uncontrolled. Stephen—it was only he who was the rival—only Stephen! There was an anti-climax of absurdity which Knight, wretched and conscience-stricken as he was, could not help recognizing. Stephen was but a boy to him. Where the great grief lay was in perceiving that the very innocence of Elfride in reading her little fault as one so grave was what had fatally misled him. Had Elfride, with any degree of coolness, asserted that she had done no harm, the poisonous breath of the dead Mrs. Jethway would have been inoperative. Why did he not make his little docile girl tell more? If on that subject he had only exercised the imperativeness customary with him on others, all might have been revealed. It smote his heart like a switch when he remembered how gently she had borne his scourging speeches, never answering him with a single reproach, only assuring him of her unbounded love.
He went to bed, letting the fever of his excitement run wild. Stephen—he was the rival—just Stephen! There was an absurd anti-climax that Knight, miserable and guilt-ridden as he was, couldn’t help but notice. To him, Stephen was just a kid. The real tragedy was realizing that Elfride's innocence in considering her small mistake to be so serious was what had misled him so badly. If Elfride had confidently claimed that she hadn’t done anything wrong, the harmful influence of the deceased Mrs. Jethway would have been useless. Why hadn’t he made his obedient girl explain more? If he had only used the assertiveness he typically showed with others, everything might have come to light. It hit him like a switch when he remembered how patiently she had taken his harsh words, never responding with a single accusation, only assuring him of her endless love.
Knight blessed Elfride for her sweetness, and forgot her fault. He pictured with a vivid fancy those fair summer scenes with her. He again saw her as at their first meeting, timid at speaking, yet in her eagerness to be explanatory borne forward almost against her will. How she would wait for him in green places, without showing any of the ordinary womanly affectations of indifference! How proud she was to be seen walking with him, bearing legibly in her eyes the thought that he was the greatest genius in the world!
Knight praised Elfride for her kindness and overlooked her mistake. He vividly imagined their beautiful summer moments together. He could still see her as when they first met, shy in her words, yet eager to explain and almost swept away by her own enthusiasm. She would wait for him in lush green spots, never displaying the usual womanly pretenses of indifference! How proud she was to be seen walking with him, with her eyes clearly showing the belief that he was the greatest genius in the world!
He formed a resolution; and after that could make pretence of slumber no longer. Rising and dressing himself, he sat down and waited for day.
He made a decision; after that, he could no longer pretend to be asleep. He got up, got dressed, and sat down to wait for morning.
That night Stephen was restless too. Not because of the unwontedness of a return to English scenery; not because he was about to meet his parents, and settle down for awhile to English cottage life. He was indulging in dreams, and for the nonce the warehouses of Bombay and the plains and forts of Poonah were but a shadow’s shadow. His dream was based on this one atom of fact: Elfride and Knight had become separated, and their engagement was as if it had never been. Their rupture must have occurred soon after Stephen’s discovery of the fact of their union; and, Stephen went on to think, what so probable as that a return of her errant affection to himself was the cause?
That night, Stephen was restless too. It wasn't because he was back in England or about to see his parents and settle into English cottage life. He was lost in dreams, and for the moment, the warehouses of Bombay and the plains and forts of Poonah were just a distant memory. His dream was rooted in this single idea: Elfride and Knight had split up, and their engagement was like it had never existed. Their breakup must have happened soon after Stephen found out about their relationship; and, Stephen thought further, what was more likely than that her returned feelings for him were the reason?
Stephen’s opinions in this matter were those of a lover, and not the balanced judgment of an unbiassed spectator. His naturally sanguine spirit built hope upon hope, till scarcely a doubt remained in his mind that her lingering tenderness for him had in some way been perceived by Knight, and had provoked their parting.
Stephen’s views on this were those of someone in love, not the objective assessment of an impartial observer. His naturally optimistic nature piled hope upon hope until there was hardly any doubt left in his mind that Knight had somehow picked up on her lingering feelings for him, which had led to their breakup.
To go and see Elfride was the suggestion of impulses it was impossible to withstand. At any rate, to run down from St. Launce’s to Castle Poterel, a distance of less than twenty miles, and glide like a ghost about their old haunts, making stealthy inquiries about her, would be a fascinating way of passing the first spare hours after reaching home on the day after the morrow.
To visit Elfride was a suggestion that was impossible to resist. At any rate, running from St. Launce’s to Castle Poterel, which is less than twenty miles away, and quietly wandering around their old spots while asking discreet questions about her would be an exciting way to spend the first free hours after getting home the day after tomorrow.
He was now a richer man than heretofore, standing on his own bottom; and the definite position in which he had rooted himself nullified old local distinctions. He had become illustrious, even sanguine clarus, judging from the tone of the worthy Mayor of St. Launce’s.
He was now a wealthier man than before, standing on his own two feet; and the solid position he had established for himself erased old local differences. He had become well-known, even quite impressive, judging by the tone of the respectable Mayor of St. Launce’s.
Chapter XXXIX
“Each to the loved one’s side.”
“Each to their loved one’s side.”
The friends and rivals breakfasted together the next morning. Not a word was said on either side upon the matter discussed the previous evening so glibly and so hollowly. Stephen was absorbed the greater part of the time in wishing he were not forced to stay in town yet another day.
The friends and rivals had breakfast together the next morning. Neither of them spoke a word about the topic they had discussed the previous evening so easily and so emptily. Stephen spent most of the time wishing he didn’t have to stay in town for another day.
“I don’t intend to leave for St. Launce’s till to-morrow, as you know,” he said to Knight at the end of the meal. “What are you going to do with yourself to-day?”
“I’m not planning to leave for St. Launce’s until tomorrow, as you know,” he said to Knight at the end of the meal. “What are you going to do today?”
“I have an engagement just before ten,” said Knight deliberately; “and after that time I must call upon two or three people.”
“I have an appointment just before ten,” Knight said thoughtfully; “and after that, I need to meet with a couple of people.”
“I’ll look for you this evening,” said Stephen.
“I’ll look for you tonight,” said Stephen.
“Yes, do. You may as well come and dine with me; that is, if we can meet. I may not sleep in London to-night; in fact, I am absolutely unsettled as to my movements yet. However, the first thing I am going to do is to get my baggage shifted from this place to Bede’s Inn. Good-bye for the present. I’ll write, you know, if I can’t meet you.”
“Yes, definitely. You might as well come and have dinner with me, that is, if we can arrange to meet. I might not stay in London tonight; honestly, I'm not sure about my plans yet. However, the first thing I'm going to do is move my luggage from here to Bede’s Inn. Bye for now. I'll write, of course, if we can't meet.”
It now wanted a quarter to nine o’clock. When Knight was gone, Stephen felt yet more impatient of the circumstance that another day would have to drag itself away wearily before he could set out for that spot of earth whereon a soft thought of him might perhaps be nourished still. On a sudden he admitted to his mind the possibility that the engagement he was waiting in town to keep might be postponed without much harm.
It was now about a quarter to nine. Once Knight had left, Stephen felt even more restless about the fact that another day would have to crawl by slowly before he could head to that place where a gentle thought of him might still be kept alive. Suddenly, he entertained the idea that the meeting he was waiting for in town could be delayed without too much trouble.
It was no sooner perceived than attempted. Looking at his watch, he found it wanted forty minutes to the departure of the ten o’clock train from Paddington, which left him a surplus quarter of an hour before it would be necessary to start for the station.
It was no sooner noticed than tried. Checking his watch, he saw it was forty minutes until the ten o’clock train from Paddington, leaving him an extra fifteen minutes before he needed to head to the station.
Scribbling a hasty note or two—one putting off the business meeting, another to Knight apologizing for not being able to see him in the evening—paying his bill, and leaving his heavier luggage to follow him by goods-train, he jumped into a cab and rattled off to the Great Western Station.
Scribbling a quick note or two—one to postpone the business meeting and another to Knight apologizing for not being able to see him in the evening—settling his bill, and leaving his heavier luggage to be sent by goods train, he hopped into a cab and sped off to the Great Western Station.
Shortly afterwards he took his seat in the railway carriage.
Shortly after that, he took his seat in the train car.
The guard paused on his whistle, to let into the next compartment to Smith’s a man of whom Stephen had caught but a hasty glimpse as he ran across the platform at the last moment.
The guard stopped whistling to let a man into the compartment next to Smith’s, a man whom Stephen had only briefly seen as he hurried across the platform at the last minute.
Smith sank back into the carriage, stilled by perplexity. The man was like Knight—astonishingly like him. Was it possible it could be he? To have got there he must have driven like the wind to Bede’s Inn, and hardly have alighted before starting again. No, it could not be he; that was not his way of doing things.
Smith sank back in the carriage, overwhelmed with confusion. The man looked just like Knight—remarkably like him. Could it really be him? To have made it there, he must have raced to Bede’s Inn and barely stepped out before taking off again. No, it couldn’t be him; that wasn’t how he did things.
During the early part of the journey Stephen Smith’s thoughts busied themselves till his brain seemed swollen. One subject was concerning his own approaching actions. He was a day earlier than his letter to his parents had stated, and his arrangement with them had been that they should meet him at Plymouth; a plan which pleased the worthy couple beyond expression. Once before the same engagement had been made, which he had then quashed by ante-dating his arrival. This time he would go right on to Castle Boterel; ramble in that well-known neighbourhood during the evening and next morning, making inquiries; and return to Plymouth to meet them as arranged—a contrivance which would leave their cherished project undisturbed, relieving his own impatience also.
During the early part of the journey, Stephen Smith's mind was racing to the point where he felt like his brain was going to burst. He was preoccupied with thoughts about what he was going to do next. He had arrived a day earlier than he told his parents in his letter, and they were expecting to meet him at Plymouth, which made them incredibly happy. He had made the same plan before but ended up changing it by arriving earlier. This time, he decided to go straight to Castle Boterel; he would wander around that familiar area in the evening and the next morning, ask some questions, and then return to Plymouth to meet them as planned—this way, he could keep their beloved plan intact and ease his own restless mind.
At Chippenham there was a little waiting, and some loosening and attaching of carriages.
At Chippenham, there was a brief wait, along with some connecting and disconnecting of carriages.
Stephen looked out. At the same moment another man’s head emerged from the adjoining window. Each looked in the other’s face.
Stephen looked out. At the same time, another man's head appeared from the adjoining window. They each looked into each other's faces.
Knight and Stephen confronted one another.
Knight and Stephen faced each other.
“You here!” said the younger man.
“You're here!” said the younger man.
“Yes. It seems that you are too,” said Knight, strangely.
“Yes. It looks like you are too,” said Knight, oddly.
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
The selfishness of love and the cruelty of jealousy were fairly exemplified at this moment. Each of the two men looked at his friend as he had never looked at him before. Each was TROUBLED at the other’s presence.
The selfishness of love and the cruelty of jealousy were clearly shown at this moment. Each of the two men looked at his friend like he never had before. Both were UNEASY about the other’s presence.
“I thought you said you were not coming till to-morrow,” remarked Knight.
“I thought you said you weren’t coming until tomorrow,” Knight said.
“I did. It was an afterthought to come to-day. This journey was your engagement, then?”
“I did. It was a last-minute decision to come today. So this trip was your commitment, then?”
“No, it was not. This is an afterthought of mine too. I left a note to explain it, and account for my not being able to meet you this evening as we arranged.”
“No, it wasn’t. This is something I thought about too. I left a note to explain it and to account for my inability to meet you this evening as we planned.”
“So did I for you.”
"Same here for you."
“You don’t look well: you did not this morning.”
"You don’t look good: you didn't this morning."
“I have a headache. You are paler to-day than you were.”
“I have a headache. You look paler today than you did before.”
“I, too, have been suffering from headache. We have to wait here a few minutes, I think.”
“I’ve been dealing with a headache, too. I think we need to wait here for a few minutes.”
They walked up and down the platform, each one more and more embarrassingly concerned with the awkwardness of his friend’s presence. They reached the end of the footway, and paused in sheer absent-mindedness. Stephen’s vacant eyes rested upon the operations of some porters, who were shifting a dark and curious-looking van from the rear of the train, to shunt another which was between it and the fore part of the train. This operation having been concluded, the two friends returned to the side of their carriage.
They walked up and down the platform, each increasingly embarrassed by their friend's awkward presence. They reached the end of the walkway and paused in complete absent-mindedness. Stephen's blank stare was focused on some porters who were moving a dark and oddly shaped van from the back of the train to connect it with another one that was between it and the front of the train. Once this task was finished, the two friends went back to their carriage.
“Will you come in here?” said Knight, not very warmly.
“Will you come in here?” Knight said, not very warmly.
“I have my rug and portmanteau and umbrella with me: it is rather bothering to move now,” said Stephen reluctantly. “Why not you come here?”
“I've got my rug, suitcase, and umbrella with me: it's kind of annoying to be moving now,” Stephen said reluctantly. “Why don’t you come here?”
“I have my traps too. It is hardly worth while to shift them, for I shall see you again, you know.”
“I have my traps too. It's not really worth moving them because I'll see you again, you know.”
“Oh, yes.”
“Oh, definitely.”
And each got into his own place. Just at starting, a man on the platform held up his hands and stopped the train.
And everyone got into their assigned spots. Just as we were about to leave, a man on the platform raised his hands and signaled the train to stop.
Stephen looked out to see what was the matter.
Stephen looked out to see what was wrong.
One of the officials was exclaiming to another, “That carriage should have been attached again. Can’t you see it is for the main line? Quick! What fools there are in the world!”
One of the officials was shouting to another, “That carriage should have been reattached. Can’t you see it's for the main line? Hurry up! There are some real idiots in this world!”
“What a confounded nuisance these stoppages are!” exclaimed Knight impatiently, looking out from his compartment. “What is it?”
“What a frustrating nuisance these delays are!” Knight exclaimed impatiently, looking out from his compartment. “What’s going on?”
“That singular carriage we saw has been unfastened from our train by mistake, it seems,” said Stephen.
“That unique carriage we saw has been mistakenly disconnected from our train, it looks like,” said Stephen.
He was watching the process of attaching it. The van or carriage, which he now recognized as having seen at Paddington before they started, was rich and solemn rather than gloomy in aspect. It seemed to be quite new, and of modern design, and its impressive personality attracted the notice of others beside himself. He beheld it gradually wheeled forward by two men on each side: slower and more sadly it seemed to approach: then a slight concussion, and they were connected with it, and off again.
He was watching them attach it. The van or carriage, which he now recognized from seeing it at Paddington before they started, looked rich and dignified rather than sad. It appeared to be quite new and had a modern design, and its striking appearance caught the attention of others besides him. He saw it slowly being moved forward by two men on each side: it seemed to approach more slowly and sadly; then there was a slight jolt, and they were connected to it and off again.
Stephen sat all the afternoon pondering upon the reason of Knight’s unexpected reappearance. Was he going as far as Castle Boterel? If so, he could only have one object in view—a visit to Elfride. And what an idea it seemed!
Stephen sat all afternoon thinking about why Knight had suddenly come back. Was he heading all the way to Castle Boterel? If he was, he must have only one reason in mind—a visit to Elfride. What a thought that was!
At Plymouth Smith partook of a little refreshment, and then went round to the side from which the train started for Camelton, the new station near Castle Boterel and Endelstow.
At Plymouth, Smith had a quick snack and then walked to the side where the train departed for Camelton, the new station near Castle Boterel and Endelstow.
Knight was already there.
The knight was already there.
Stephen walked up and stood beside him without speaking. Two men at this moment crept out from among the wheels of the waiting train.
Stephen walked up and stood next to him without saying anything. At that moment, two men quietly emerged from among the wheels of the waiting train.
“The carriage is light enough,” said one in a grim tone. “Light as vanity; full of nothing.”
“The carriage is light enough,” said one in a serious tone. “Light as vanity; full of nothing.”
“Nothing in size, but a good deal in signification,” said the other, a man of brighter mind and manners.
“Not much in size, but a lot in meaning,” said the other, a man of sharper intellect and demeanor.
Smith then perceived that to their train was attached that same carriage of grand and dark aspect which had haunted them all the way from London.
Smith then realized that their train was connected to that same grand and dark carriage that had followed them all the way from London.
“You are going on, I suppose?” said Knight, turning to Stephen, after idly looking at the same object.
“You're heading out, I assume?” said Knight, turning to Stephen after casually staring at the same thing.
“Yes.”
"Yes."
“We may as well travel together for the remaining distance, may we not?”
“We might as well travel together for the rest of the way, right?”
“Certainly we will;” and they both entered the same door.
“Of course we will,” and they both walked through the same door.
Evening drew on apace. It chanced to be the eve of St. Valentine’s—that bishop of blessed memory to youthful lovers—and the sun shone low under the rim of a thick hard cloud, decorating the eminences of the landscape with crowns of orange fire. As the train changed its direction on a curve, the same rays stretched in through the window, and coaxed open Knight’s half-closed eyes.
Evening was approaching quickly. It happened to be the eve of St. Valentine’s— that beloved bishop remembered by young couples—and the sun hung low beneath a thick, solid cloud, lighting up the tops of the landscape with crowns of orange glow. As the train turned on a curve, the same rays filtered in through the window and gently pried open Knight’s half-closed eyes.
“You will get out at St. Launce’s, I suppose?” he murmured.
“You're getting off at St. Launce’s, right?” he said softly.
“No,” said Stephen, “I am not expected till to-morrow.” Knight was silent.
“No,” Stephen said, “I’m not expected until tomorrow.” Knight was quiet.
“And you—are you going to Endelstow?” said the younger man pointedly.
“And you—are you going to Endelstow?” the younger man asked directly.
“Since you ask, I can do no less than say I am, Stephen,” continued Knight slowly, and with more resolution of manner than he had shown all the day. “I am going to Endelstow to see if Elfride Swancourt is still free; and if so, to ask her to be my wife.”
“Since you asked, I can’t say anything less than I am, Stephen,” Knight continued slowly, sounding more determined than he had all day. “I’m going to Endelstow to find out if Elfride Swancourt is still available; and if she is, I want to ask her to be my wife.”
“So am I,” said Stephen Smith.
“So am I,” said Stephen Smith.
“I think you’ll lose your labour,” Knight returned with decision.
"I think you're going to waste your effort," Knight replied firmly.
“Naturally you do.” There was a strong accent of bitterness in Stephen’s voice. “You might have said HOPE instead of THINK,” he added.
“Naturally you do.” There was a strong tone of bitterness in Stephen’s voice. “You could have said HOPE instead of THINK,” he added.
“I might have done no such thing. I gave you my opinion. Elfride Swancourt may have loved you once, no doubt, but it was when she was so young that she hardly knew her own mind.”
“I might not have done anything of the sort. I shared my opinion. Elfride Swancourt might have loved you at one point, for sure, but it was when she was so young that she barely knew her own feelings.”
“Thank you,” said Stephen laconically. “She knew her mind as well as I did. We are the same age. If you hadn’t interfered——”
“Thanks,” Stephen said tersely. “She knew what she wanted just as well as I did. We’re the same age. If you hadn’t gotten involved——”
“Don’t say that—don’t say it, Stephen! How can you make out that I interfered? Be just, please!”
“Don’t say that—don’t say it, Stephen! How can you claim that I got involved? Please be fair!”
“Well,” said his friend, “she was mine before she was yours—you know that! And it seemed a hard thing to find you had got her, and that if it had not been for you, all might have turned out well for me.” Stephen spoke with a swelling heart, and looked out of the window to hide the emotion that would make itself visible upon his face.
“Well,” said his friend, “she was mine before she was yours—you know that! And it felt really tough to find out that you ended up with her, and if it weren’t for you, things might have turned out great for me.” Stephen spoke with a heavy heart and looked out of the window to hide the emotion that was showing on his face.
“It is absurd,” said Knight in a kinder tone, “for you to look at the matter in that light. What I tell you is for your good. You naturally do not like to realize the truth—that her liking for you was only a girl’s first fancy, which has no root ever.”
“It’s ridiculous,” Knight said gently, “for you to see it that way. What I’m telling you is for your own benefit. You don’t want to face the truth—that her affection for you was just a girl’s passing crush, which has no real basis.”
“It is not true!” said Stephen passionately. “It was you put me out. And now you’ll be pushing in again between us, and depriving me of my chance again! My right, that’s what it is! How ungenerous of you to come anew and try to take her away from me! When you had won her, I did not interfere; and you might, I think, Mr. Knight, do by me as I did by you!”
“It’s not true!” Stephen said fervently. “You were the one who pushed me out. And now you’re going to come back between us and steal my chance again! It’s my right, that’s what it is! How selfish of you to come back and try to take her from me! When you had won her, I didn’t interfere; and I think, Mr. Knight, you could treat me the way I treated you!”
“Don’t ‘Mr.’ me; you are as well in the world as I am now.”
“Don't call me 'Mr.'; you're just as important in the world as I am now.”
“First love is deepest; and that was mine.”
“First love runs the deepest, and that was mine.”
“Who told you that?” said Knight superciliously.
“Who told you that?” Knight said arrogantly.
“I had her first love. And it was through me that you and she parted. I can guess that well enough.”
“I was her first love. And it was because of me that you two broke up. I can figure that out pretty easily.”
“It was. And if I were to explain to you in what way that operated in parting us, I should convince you that you do quite wrong in intruding upon her—that, as I said at first, your labour will be lost. I don’t choose to explain, because the particulars are painful. But if you won’t listen to me, go on, for Heaven’s sake. I don’t care what you do, my boy.”
“It was. And if I had to explain how that affected our separation, I’d be able to show you that you’re making a mistake by getting involved with her—that, as I said at the beginning, your efforts will be wasted. I don’t want to explain because the details are upsetting. But if you’re not going to listen to me, just go ahead, for heaven's sake. I don’t care what you do, my boy.”
“You have no right to domineer over me as you do. Just because, when I was a lad, I was accustomed to look up to you as a master, and you helped me a little, for which I was grateful to you and have loved you, you assume too much now, and step in before me. It is cruel—it is unjust—of you to injure me so!”
“You have no right to boss me around like this. Just because I looked up to you as a mentor when I was young, and you helped me a bit, which I'm grateful for and have cared for you, you take it too far now and get in my way. It’s cruel and unfair of you to hurt me like this!”
Knight showed himself keenly hurt at this. “Stephen, those words are untrue and unworthy of any man, and they are unworthy of you. You know you wrong me. If you have ever profited by any instruction of mine, I am only too glad to know it. You know it was given ungrudgingly, and that I have never once looked upon it as making you in any way a debtor to me.”
Knight visibly took offense at this. “Stephen, those words are false and beneath any man, and they're beneath you. You know you're mistaken. If you’ve ever gained anything from my guidance, I'm really happy to hear it. You know I offered it without hesitation, and I've never thought of it as making you owe me anything.”
Stephen’s naturally gentle nature was touched, and it was in a troubled voice that he said, “Yes, yes. I am unjust in that—I own it.”
Stephen’s naturally gentle nature was affected, and in a troubled voice, he said, “Yes, yes. I admit I’m being unfair about that.”
“This is St. Launce’s Station, I think. Are you going to get out?”
“This is St. Launce’s Station, I believe. Are you going to get off?”
Knight’s manner of returning to the matter in hand drew Stephen again into himself. “No; I told you I was going to Endelstow,” he resolutely replied.
Knight’s way of bringing the conversation back to the topic made Stephen withdraw into himself again. “No; I told you I was going to Endelstow,” he replied firmly.
Knight’s features became impassive, and he said no more. The train continued rattling on, and Stephen leant back in his corner and closed his eyes. The yellows of evening had turned to browns, the dusky shades thickened, and a flying cloud of dust occasionally stroked the window—borne upon a chilling breeze which blew from the north-east. The previously gilded but now dreary hills began to lose their daylight aspects of rotundity, and to become black discs vandyked against the sky, all nature wearing the cloak that six o’clock casts over the landscape at this time of the year.
Knight's expression turned blank, and he didn't say anything else. The train kept rattling along, and Stephen leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. The bright yellows of evening faded into browns, the dusky shades thickened, and a swirling cloud of dust occasionally brushed against the window—carried by a chilly breeze from the north-east. The once-gilded, now dull hills began to lose their rounded daylight look, turning into dark silhouettes outlined against the sky, as nature donned the cloak that six o'clock drapes over the landscape at this time of year.
Stephen started up in bewilderment after a long stillness, and it was some time before he recollected himself.
Stephen startled awake after a long silence, and it took him a while to gather his thoughts.
“Well, how real, how real!” he exclaimed, brushing his hand across his eyes.
“Well, how real, how real!” he said, rubbing his eyes.
“What is?” said Knight.
"What is it?" said Knight.
“That dream. I fell asleep for a few minutes, and have had a dream—the most vivid I ever remember.”
“That dream. I nodded off for a few minutes and had a dream—the most vivid one I can remember.”
He wearily looked out into the gloom. They were now drawing near to Camelton. The lighting of the lamps was perceptible through the veil of evening—each flame starting into existence at intervals, and blinking weakly against the gusts of wind.
He tiredly looked out into the darkness. They were now getting close to Camelton. The lights from the lamps became visible through the evening haze—each flame flickering to life one by one, struggling against the gusts of wind.
“What did you dream?” said Knight moodily.
“What did you dream?” Knight asked gloomily.
“Oh, nothing to be told. ’Twas a sort of incubus. There is never anything in dreams.”
“Oh, there’s nothing to say. It was like a nightmare. There’s never anything in dreams.”
“I hardly supposed there was.”
"I barely thought there was."
“I know that. However, what I so vividly dreamt was this, since you would like to hear. It was the brightest of bright mornings at East Endelstow Church, and you and I stood by the font. Far away in the chancel Lord Luxellian was standing alone, cold and impassive, and utterly unlike his usual self: but I knew it was he. Inside the altar rail stood a strange clergyman with his book open. He looked up and said to Lord Luxellian, ‘Where’s the bride?’ Lord Luxellian said, ‘There’s no bride.’ At that moment somebody came in at the door, and I knew her to be Lady Luxellian who died. He turned and said to her, ‘I thought you were in the vault below us; but that could have only been a dream of mine. Come on.’ Then she came on. And in brushing between us she chilled me so with cold that I exclaimed, ‘The life is gone out of me!’ and, in the way of dreams, I awoke. But here we are at Camelton.”
“I know that. However, what I vividly dreamed was this, since you want to hear. It was the brightest morning at East Endelstow Church, and you and I were standing by the font. Far away in the chancel, Lord Luxellian was standing alone, cold and unfeeling, completely different from his usual self: but I knew it was him. Inside the altar rail stood a strange clergyman with his book open. He looked up and asked Lord Luxellian, ‘Where’s the bride?’ Lord Luxellian replied, ‘There’s no bride.’ At that moment, someone came in through the door, and I recognized her as Lady Luxellian, who had died. He turned to her and said, ‘I thought you were in the vault below us; but that must have just been a dream of mine. Come on.’ Then she moved forward. As she brushed past us, she chilled me so much that I exclaimed, ‘The life is gone out of me!’ And, like in dreams, I woke up. But here we are at Camelton.”
They were slowly entering the station.
They were gradually walking into the station.
“What are you going to do?” said Knight. “Do you really intend to call on the Swancourts?”
“What are you going to do?” asked Knight. “Are you really planning to visit the Swancourts?”
“By no means. I am going to make inquiries first. I shall stay at the Luxellian Arms to-night. You will go right on to Endelstow, I suppose, at once?”
“Definitely not. I'm going to ask some questions first. I'm staying at the Luxellian Arms tonight. You’re going to head straight to Endelstow, right?”
“I can hardly do that at this time of the day. Perhaps you are not aware that the family—her father, at any rate—is at variance with me as much as with you.
“I can hardly do that at this time of day. Maybe you don't realize that the family—her father, at least—disagrees with me just as much as he does with you."
“I didn’t know it.”
"I had no idea."
“And that I cannot rush into the house as an old friend any more than you can. Certainly I have the privileges of a distant relationship, whatever they may be.”
“And I can’t just rush into the house like an old friend any more than you can. I do have the perks of a distant relationship, whatever those might be.”
Knight let down the window, and looked ahead. “There are a great many people at the station,” he said. “They seem all to be on the look-out for us.”
Knight rolled down the window and looked ahead. “There are a lot of people at the station,” he said. “They all seem to be on the lookout for us.”
When the train stopped, the half-estranged friends could perceive by the lamplight that the assemblage of idlers enclosed as a kernel a group of men in black cloaks. A side gate in the platform railing was open, and outside this stood a dark vehicle, which they could not at first characterize. Then Knight saw on its upper part forms against the sky like cedars by night, and knew the vehicle to be a hearse. Few people were at the carriage doors to meet the passengers—the majority had congregated at this upper end. Knight and Stephen alighted, and turned for a moment in the same direction.
When the train stopped, the somewhat distant friends noticed in the lamplight that the group of idle people surrounded a cluster of men in black cloaks. A side gate in the platform railing was open, and outside stood a dark vehicle that they couldn't identify at first. Then Knight saw shadowy shapes against the sky that looked like cedars at night and realized the vehicle was a hearse. Few people were at the carriage doors to welcome the passengers—the majority had gathered at the upper end. Knight and Stephen got off the train and turned for a moment in the same direction.
The sombre van, which had accompanied them all day from London, now began to reveal that their destination was also its own. It had been drawn up exactly opposite the open gate. The bystanders all fell back, forming a clear lane from the gateway to the van, and the men in cloaks entered the latter conveyance.
The dark van that had been with them all day from London now started to show that it was headed to the same place they were. It stopped directly across from the open gate. The onlookers stepped back, creating a clear path from the gate to the van, and the men in cloaks got inside the vehicle.
“They are labourers, I fancy,” said Stephen. “Ah, it is strange; but I recognize three of them as Endelstow men. Rather remarkable this.”
“They're workers, I think,” said Stephen. “Ah, it's odd; but I recognize three of them as being from Endelstow. Quite interesting this.”
Presently they began to come out, two and two; and under the rays of the lamp they were seen to bear between them a light-coloured coffin of satin-wood, brightly polished, and without a nail. The eight men took the burden upon their shoulders, and slowly crossed with it over to the gate.
Presently, they started to emerge, two by two; and under the light of the lamp, it was clear they were carrying a light-colored satinwood coffin, shiny and without any nails. The eight men hoisted the burden onto their shoulders and slowly made their way to the gate with it.
Knight and Stephen went outside, and came close to the procession as it moved off. A carriage belonging to the cortege turned round close to a lamp. The rays shone in upon the face of the vicar of Endelstow, Mr. Swancourt—looking many years older than when they had last seen him. Knight and Stephen involuntarily drew back.
Knight and Stephen stepped outside and approached the procession as it started to move away. A carriage in the cortege turned near a street lamp. The light illuminated the face of the vicar of Endelstow, Mr. Swancourt—looking many years older than when they last saw him. Knight and Stephen instinctively stepped back.
Knight spoke to a bystander. “What has Mr. Swancourt to do with that funeral?”
Knight spoke to a bystander. “What does Mr. Swancourt have to do with that funeral?”
“He is the lady’s father,” said the bystander.
"He is the lady's father," said the bystander.
“What lady’s father?” said Knight, in a voice so hollow that the man stared at him.
“What lady’s father?” Knight said, his voice so empty that the man looked at him in shock.
“The father of the lady in the coffin. She died in London, you know, and has been brought here by this train. She is to be taken home to-night, and buried to-morrow.”
“The father of the woman in the coffin. She died in London, you know, and has been brought here by this train. She is going to be taken home tonight and buried tomorrow.”
Knight stood staring blindly at where the hearse had been; as if he saw it, or some one, there. Then he turned, and beheld the lithe form of Stephen bowed down like that of an old man. He took his young friend’s arm, and led him away from the light.
Knight stood staring blankly at the spot where the hearse had been, as if he saw it or someone there. Then he turned and noticed the slender figure of Stephen hunched over like an old man. He took his young friend’s arm and guided him away from the light.
Chapter XL
“Welcome, proud lady.”
“Welcome, empowered woman.”
Half an hour has passed. Two miserable men are wandering in the darkness up the miles of road from Camelton to Endelstow.
Half an hour has gone by. Two unhappy men are trudging through the darkness along the long road from Camelton to Endelstow.
“Has she broken her heart?” said Henry Knight. “Can it be that I have killed her? I was bitter with her, Stephen, and she has died! And may God have NO mercy upon me!”
“Has she broken her heart?” said Henry Knight. “Could it be that I’ve caused her death? I was so harsh with her, Stephen, and now she’s gone! And may God have NO mercy on me!”
“How can you have killed her more than I?”
“How could you have killed her more than I did?”
“Why, I went away from her—stole away almost—and didn’t tell her I should not come again; and at that last meeting I did not kiss her once, but let her miserably go. I have been a fool—a fool! I wish the most abject confession of it before crowds of my countrymen could in any way make amends to my darling for the intense cruelty I have shown her!”
“Why, I quietly slipped away from her—almost snuck off—and didn’t tell her I wouldn’t be back; and at that last meeting, I didn’t kiss her even once, but let her go feeling miserable. I’ve been such a fool—a fool! I wish that the most humiliating confession in front of a crowd of my fellow countrymen could somehow make up for the terrible cruelty I’ve shown her!”
“YOUR darling!” said Stephen, with a sort of laugh. “Any man can say that, I suppose; any man can. I know this, she was MY darling before she was yours; and after too. If anybody has a right to call her his own, it is I.”
“YOUR darling!” Stephen said with a kind of laugh. “I guess any guy can say that; any guy can. But I know this—she was MY darling before she was yours; and after too. If anyone has a right to call her his own, it’s me.”
“You talk like a man in the dark; which is what you are. Did she ever do anything for you? Risk her name, for instance, for you?”
“You speak like someone who's clueless, which is exactly what you are. Did she ever do anything for you? Like, risk her reputation for you?”
Yes, she did,” said Stephen emphatically.
“Yes, she did,” Stephen said firmly.
“Not entirely. Did she ever live for you—prove she could not live without you—laugh and weep for you?”
“Not really. Did she ever live for you—show that she couldn't live without you—laugh and cry for you?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Never! Did she ever risk her life for you—no! My darling did for me.”
“Never! Did she ever put her life on the line for you—no! My darling did it for me.”
“Then it was in kindness only. When did she risk her life for you?”
“Then it was just kindness. When did she put her life on the line for you?”
“To save mine on the cliff yonder. The poor child was with me looking at the approach of the Puffin steamboat, and I slipped down. We both had a narrow escape. I wish we had died there!”
“To save my life on the cliff over there. The poor child was with me, watching the Puffin steamboat approach, and I slipped down. We both had a close call. I wish we had died there!”
“Ah, but wait,” Stephen pleaded with wet eyes. “She went on that cliff to see me arrive home: she had promised it. She told me she would months before. And would she have gone there if she had not cared for me at all?”
“Ah, but wait,” Stephen pleaded with teary eyes. “She went to that cliff to see me come home: she promised she would. She told me that months ago. And would she have gone there if she didn’t care about me at all?”
“You have an idea that Elfride died for you, no doubt,” said Knight, with a mournful sarcasm too nerveless to support itself.
“You think Elfride died for you, don’t you?” Knight said, his tone filled with a sad sarcasm that lacked the strength to hold itself up.
“Never mind. If we find that—that she died yours, I’ll say no more ever.”
“Never mind. If we find out that she died yours, I won’t say anything more about it ever.”
“And if we find she died yours, I’ll say no more.”
“And if we find out she died because of you, I won’t say anything else.”
“Very well—so it shall be.”
"Alright—so be it."
The dark clouds into which the sun had sunk had begun to drop rain in an increasing volume.
The dark clouds where the sun had disappeared had started to pour rain in greater amounts.
“Can we wait somewhere here till this shower is over?” said Stephen desultorily.
“Can we wait somewhere around here until this rain stops?” said Stephen casually.
“As you will. But it is not worth while. We’ll hear the particulars, and return. Don’t let people know who we are. I am not much now.”
“As you wish. But it's not really necessary. We'll find out the details and come back. Don't let anyone know who we are. I'm not much of anything right now.”
They had reached a point at which the road branched into two—just outside the west village, one fork of the diverging routes passing into the latter place, the other stretching on to East Endelstow. Having come some of the distance by the footpath, they now found that the hearse was only a little in advance of them.
They had arrived at a spot where the road split into two—just outside the west village, one path leading into that village, while the other continued on to East Endelstow. After traveling part of the way along the footpath, they noticed that the hearse was just a little ahead of them.
“I fancy it has turned off to East Endelstow. Can you see?”
“I think it’s gone towards East Endelstow. Can you see it?”
“I cannot. You must be mistaken.”
“I can't. You must be confused.”
Knight and Stephen entered the village. A bar of fiery light lay across the road, proceeding from the half-open door of a smithy, in which bellows were heard blowing and a hammer ringing. The rain had increased, and they mechanically turned for shelter towards the warm and cosy scene.
Knight and Stephen walked into the village. A bright beam of light stretched across the road, coming from the slightly open door of a blacksmith's shop, where the sound of bellows and the ringing of a hammer echoed. The rain had picked up, and they instinctively headed for the warm and inviting scene for shelter.
Close at their heels came another man, without over-coat or umbrella, and with a parcel under his arm.
Close behind them was another man, without a coat or umbrella, and carrying a package under his arm.
“A wet evening,” he said to the two friends, and passed by them. They stood in the outer penthouse, but the man went in to the fire.
“A rainy evening,” he said to the two friends, and walked past them. They were in the outer penthouse, but the man went inside to the fire.
The smith ceased his blowing, and began talking to the man who had entered.
The blacksmith stopped blowing the forge and started talking to the man who had come in.
“I have walked all the way from Camelton,” said the latter. “Was obliged to come to-night, you know.”
“I walked all the way from Camelton,” said the latter. “I had to come tonight, you know.”
He held the parcel, which was a flat one, towards the firelight, to learn if the rain had penetrated it. Resting it edgewise on the forge, he supported it perpendicularly with one hand, wiping his face with the handkerchief he held in the other.
He held the flat package up to the firelight to see if the rain had gotten through it. Balancing it on the edge of the forge, he stabilized it with one hand while wiping his face with the handkerchief in the other.
“I suppose you know what I’ve got here?” he observed to the smith.
“I guess you know what I have here?” he remarked to the blacksmith.
“No, I don’t,” said the smith, pausing again on his bellows.
“No, I don’t,” said the blacksmith, stopping again on his bellows.
“As the rain’s not over, I’ll show you,” said the bearer.
“As the rain isn’t done, I’ll show you,” said the bearer.
He laid the thin and broad package, which had acute angles in different directions, flat upon the anvil, and the smith blew up the fire to give him more light. First, after untying the package, a sheet of brown paper was removed: this was laid flat. Then he unfolded a piece of baize: this also he spread flat on the paper. The third covering was a wrapper of tissue paper, which was spread out in its turn. The enclosure was revealed, and he held it up for the smith’s inspection.
He placed the thin, wide package, which had sharp angles pointing in various directions, flat on the anvil, and the blacksmith stoked the fire for better light. First, after untying the package, he pulled off a sheet of brown paper and laid it flat. Then he unfolded a piece of felt and spread it out on the paper. The third layer was a piece of tissue paper, which he also laid out. The contents were revealed, and he lifted it up for the blacksmith to examine.
“Oh—I see!” said the smith, kindling with a chastened interest, and drawing close. “Poor young lady—ah, terrible melancholy thing—so soon too!”
“Oh—I get it!” said the smith, becoming intrigued and moving closer. “
Knight and Stephen turned their heads and looked.
Knight and Stephen turned their heads and looked.
“And what’s that?” continued the smith.
“And what’s that?” the smith asked.
“That’s the coronet—beautifully finished, isn’t it? Ah, that cost some money!”
“That’s the crown—looks really nice, doesn’t it? Wow, that must have been expensive!”
“’Tis as fine a bit of metal work as ever I see—that ’tis.”
“It’s as nice a piece of metalwork as I’ve ever seen—that it is.”
“It came from the same people as the coffin, you know, but was not ready soon enough to be sent round to the house in London yesterday. I’ve got to fix it on this very night.”
“It came from the same people as the coffin, but it wasn’t ready in time to be delivered to the house in London yesterday. I have to get it done tonight.”
The carefully-packed articles were a coffin-plate and coronet.
The neatly packed items were a coffin plate and a crown.
Knight and Stephen came forward. The undertaker’s man, on seeing them look for the inscription, civilly turned it round towards them, and each read, almost at one moment, by the ruddy light of the coals:
Knight and Stephen stepped up. The undertaker’s assistant, noticing they were looking for the inscription, politely turned it around for them, and they both read it almost simultaneously in the warm glow of the coals:
E L F R I D E,
Wife of Spenser Hugo Luxellian,
Fifteenth Baron Luxellian:
Died February 10, 18—.
E L F R I D E,
Wife of Spenser Hugo Luxellian,
Fifteenth Baron Luxellian:
Died February 10, 18—.
They read it, and read it, and read it again—Stephen and Knight—as if animated by one soul. Then Stephen put his hand upon Knight’s arm, and they retired from the yellow glow, further, further, till the chill darkness enclosed them round, and the quiet sky asserted its presence overhead as a dim grey sheet of blank monotony.
They read it over and over—Stephen and Knight—almost like they were one person. Then Stephen placed his hand on Knight’s arm, and they moved away from the warm light, farther and farther, until the cold darkness surrounded them, and the calm sky hovered above like a dull grey blanket of sameness.
“Where shall we go?” said Stephen.
“Where should we go?” said Stephen.
“I don’t know.”
“IDK.”
A long silence ensued....“Elfride married!” said Stephen then in a thin whisper, as if he feared to let the assertion loose on the world.
A long silence followed... “Elfride got married!” Stephen then said in a quiet whisper, as if he was afraid to let the news out into the world.
“False,” whispered Knight.
"False," Knight whispered.
“And dead. Denied us both. I hate ‘false’—I hate it!”
“And dead. It took us both away. I hate ‘false’—I hate it!”
Knight made no answer.
Knight didn't respond.
Nothing was heard by them now save the slow measurement of time by their beating pulses, the soft touch of the dribbling rain upon their clothes, and the low purr of the blacksmith’s bellows hard by.
Nothing could be heard by them now except the slow passing of time marked by their beating pulses, the gentle touch of the drizzling rain on their clothes, and the faint hum of the blacksmith’s bellows nearby.
“Shall we follow Elfie any further?” Stephen said.
“Should we keep following Elfie?” Stephen asked.
“No: let us leave her alone. She is beyond our love, and let her be beyond our reproach. Since we don’t know half the reasons that made her do as she did, Stephen, how can we say, even now, that she was not pure and true in heart?” Knight’s voice had now become mild and gentle as a child’s. He went on: “Can we call her ambitious? No. Circumstance has, as usual, overpowered her purposes—fragile and delicate as she—liable to be overthrown in a moment by the coarse elements of accident. I know that’s it,—don’t you?”
“No, let’s just leave her alone. She’s beyond our love, so let her be beyond our judgment. Since we don’t know even half the reasons that led her to act the way she did, Stephen, how can we say, even now, that she wasn’t pure and true at heart?” Knight’s voice had turned soft and gentle, like a child’s. He continued, “Can we call her ambitious? No. Circumstances have, as usual, overpowered her intentions—fragile and delicate as she is—vulnerable to being toppled in an instant by the rough forces of chance. I know that’s true, don’t you?”
“It may be—it must be. Let us go on.”
“It could be—it has to be. Let’s keep going.”
They began to bend their steps towards Castle Boterel, whither they had sent their bags from Camelton. They wandered on in silence for many minutes. Stephen then paused, and lightly put his hand within Knight’s arm.
They started to make their way to Castle Boterel, where they had sent their bags from Camelton. They walked on in silence for several minutes. Stephen then stopped and gently placed his hand on Knight’s arm.
“I wonder how she came to die,” he said in a broken whisper. “Shall we return and learn a little more?”
“I wonder how she died,” he said in a shaky voice. “Should we go back and find out more?”
They turned back again, and entering Endelstow a second time, came to a door which was standing open. It was that of an inn called the Welcome Home, and the house appeared to have been recently repaired and entirely modernized. The name too was not that of the same landlord as formerly, but Martin Cannister’s.
They turned back again, and entering Endelstow a second time, came to a door that was standing open. It was the entrance to an inn called the Welcome Home, and the place looked like it had been recently renovated and completely modernized. The name also belonged to a different landlord than before, but to Martin Cannister.
Knight and Smith entered. The inn was quite silent, and they followed the passage till they reached the kitchen, where a huge fire was burning, which roared up the chimney, and sent over the floor, ceiling, and newly-whitened walls a glare so intense as to make the candle quite a secondary light. A woman in a white apron and black gown was standing there alone behind a cleanly-scrubbed deal table. Stephen first, and Knight afterwards, recognized her as Unity, who had been parlour-maid at the vicarage and young lady’s-maid at the Crags.
Knight and Smith walked in. The inn was very quiet, and they followed the hallway until they got to the kitchen, where a large fire was blazing, roaring up the chimney and casting such a bright light over the floor, ceiling, and freshly painted walls that the candle seemed like a mere afterthought. A woman in a white apron and black dress was standing alone behind a thoroughly scrubbed table made of deal. Stephen recognized her first, and then Knight did too; it was Unity, who had been the parlour-maid at the vicarage and the young lady’s maid at the Crags.
“Unity,” said Stephen softly, “don’t you know me?”
“Unity,” Stephen said softly, “don’t you know who I am?”
She looked inquiringly a moment, and her face cleared up.
She looked curious for a moment, and then her expression brightened.
“Mr. Smith—ay, that it is!” she said. “And that’s Mr. Knight. I beg you to sit down. Perhaps you know that since I saw you last I have married Martin Cannister.”
“Mr. Smith—yes, that’s right!” she said. “And that’s Mr. Knight. Please, have a seat. You might know that since we last met, I’ve married Martin Cannister.”
“How long have you been married?”
“How long have you been married?”
“About five months. We were married the same day that my dear Miss Elfie became Lady Luxellian.” Tears appeared in Unity’s eyes, and filled them, and fell down her cheek, in spite of efforts to the contrary.
“About five months. We got married the same day my dear Miss Elfie became Lady Luxellian.” Tears welled up in Unity's eyes, spilling over and rolling down her cheek, despite her attempts to hold them back.
The pain of the two men in resolutely controlling themselves when thus exampled to admit relief of the same kind was distressing. They both turned their backs and walked a few steps away.
The struggle of the two men to keep themselves together when they were shown that it was okay to show relief was painful to witness. They both turned away and took a few steps back.
Then Unity said, “Will you go into the parlour, gentlemen?”
Then Unity said, “Will you step into the living room, gentlemen?”
“Let us stay here with her,” Knight whispered, and turning said, “No; we will sit here. We want to rest and dry ourselves here for a time, if you please.”
“Let’s stay here with her,” Knight whispered, then turned and said, “No; we’ll sit here. We want to rest and dry off for a bit, if you don’t mind.”
That evening the sorrowing friends sat with their hostess beside the large fire, Knight in the recess formed by the chimney breast, where he was in shade. And by showing a little confidence they won hers, and she told them what they had stayed to hear—the latter history of poor Elfride.
That evening, the grieving friends sat with their hostess next to the large fire, Knight in the nook created by the chimney, where he was in the shadows. By showing a bit of trust, they earned hers, and she shared with them what they had come to hear—the later story of poor Elfride.
“One day—after you, Mr. Knight, left us for the last time—she was missed from the Crags, and her father went after her, and brought her home ill. Where she went to, I never knew—but she was very unwell for weeks afterwards. And she said to me that she didn’t care what became of her, and she wished she could die. When she was better, I said she would live to be married yet, and she said then, ‘Yes; I’ll do anything for the benefit of my family, so as to turn my useless life to some practical account.’ Well, it began like this about Lord Luxellian courting her. The first Lady Luxellian had died, and he was in great trouble because the little girls were left motherless. After a while they used to come and see her in their little black frocks, for they liked her as well or better than their own mother—-that’s true. They used to call her ‘little mamma.’ These children made her a shade livelier, but she was not the girl she had been—I could see that—and she grew thinner a good deal. Well, my lord got to ask the Swancourts oftener and oftener to dinner—nobody else of his acquaintance—and at last the vicar’s family were backwards and forwards at all hours of the day. Well, people say that the little girls asked their father to let Miss Elfride come and live with them, and that he said perhaps he would if they were good children. However, the time went on, and one day I said, ‘Miss Elfride, you don’t look so well as you used to; and though nobody else seems to notice it I do.’ She laughed a little, and said, ‘I shall live to be married yet, as you told me.’
“One day—after you, Mr. Knight, left us for the last time—she went missing from the Crags, and her father went after her and brought her home sick. I never found out where she went, but she was very unwell for weeks after. She told me that she didn’t care what happened to her and that she wished she could die. When she got better, I told her she would live to get married one day, and she replied, ‘Yes; I'll do anything for the sake of my family to make my useless life useful.’ It all started with Lord Luxellian courting her. The first Lady Luxellian had passed away, and he was in quite a bit of distress because the little girls were left without a mother. After a while, they began visiting her in their little black dresses, as they liked her just as much, if not more, than their own mother—that’s true. They used to call her ‘little mama.’ These kids made her a bit more lively, but she wasn't the same girl she used to be—I could see that—and she got quite a bit thinner. Eventually, my lord started inviting the Swancourts over for dinner more and more often—nobody else from his circle—and soon the vicar’s family was coming and going at all hours. People say the little girls asked their father to let Miss Elfride come live with them, and he said maybe he would if they behaved well. Anyway, time passed, and one day I said, ‘Miss Elfride, you don’t look as well as you used to; and even though nobody else seems to notice, I do.’ She laughed a little and said, ‘I shall live to get married yet, just as you told me.’
“‘Shall you, miss? I am glad to hear that,’ I said.
“‘Are you, miss? I’m glad to hear that,’ I said.
“‘Whom do you think I am going to be married to?’ she said again.
“‘Who do you think I’m going to marry?’ she said again.
“‘Mr. Knight, I suppose,’ said I.
“‘Mr. Knight, I guess,’ I said.
“‘Oh!’ she cried, and turned off so white, and afore I could get to her she had sunk down like a heap of clothes, and fainted away. Well, then, she came to herself after a time, and said, ‘Unity, now we’ll go on with our conversation.’
“‘Oh!’ she exclaimed, turning so pale, and before I could reach her, she had collapsed like a pile of clothes and fainted. Eventually, she regained her senses and said, ‘Unity, now we’ll continue our conversation.’”
“‘Better not to-day, miss,’ I said.
“‘Maybe not today, miss,’ I said.
“‘Yes, we will,’ she said. ‘Whom do you think I am going to be married to?’
“‘Yes, we will,’ she said. ‘Who do you think I’m going to marry?’”
“‘I don’t know,’ I said this time.
“I don’t know,” I said this time.
“‘Guess,’ she said.
"Take a guess," she said.
“‘’Tisn’t my lord, is it?’ says I.
“Isn’t my lord, is it?” I asked.
“‘Yes, ’tis,’ says she, in a sick wild way.
“‘Yes, it is,’ she says, in a sick, wild way.”
“‘But he don’t come courting much,’ I said.
“‘But he doesn’t come around to date much,’ I said.
‘“Ah! you don’t know,’ she said, and told me ’twas going to be in October. After that she freshened up a bit—whether ’twas with the thought of getting away from home or not, I don’t know. For, perhaps, I may as well speak plainly, and tell you that her home was no home to her now. Her father was bitter to her and harsh upon her; and though Mrs. Swancourt was well enough in her way, ’twas a sort of cold politeness that was not worth much, and the little thing had a worrying time of it altogether. About a month before the wedding, she and my lord and the two children used to ride about together upon horseback, and a very pretty sight they were; and if you’ll believe me, I never saw him once with her unless the children were with her too—which made the courting so strange-looking. Ay, and my lord is so handsome, you know, so that at last I think she rather liked him; and I have seen her smile and blush a bit at things he said. He wanted her the more because the children did, for everybody could see that she would be a most tender mother to them, and friend and playmate too. And my lord is not only handsome, but a splendid courter, and up to all the ways o’t. So he made her the beautifullest presents; ah, one I can mind—a lovely bracelet, with diamonds and emeralds. Oh, how red her face came when she saw it! The old roses came back to her cheeks for a minute or two then. I helped dress her the day we both were married—it was the last service I did her, poor child! When she was ready, I ran upstairs and slipped on my own wedding gown, and away they went, and away went Martin and I; and no sooner had my lord and my lady been married than the parson married us. It was a very quiet pair of weddings—hardly anybody knew it. Well, hope will hold its own in a young heart, if so be it can; and my lady freshened up a bit, for my lord was SO handsome and kind.”
“Ah! You have no idea,” she said, and told me it was going to be in October. After that, she perked up a bit—whether it was because she was looking forward to getting away from home or not, I can’t say. Honestly, I should just say it plainly: her home was no home for her anymore. Her father was bitter and harsh with her; and while Mrs. Swancourt was decent enough in her own way, it was a kind of cold politeness that didn’t mean much, and the poor girl had a tough time overall. About a month before the wedding, she rode around on horseback with my lord and the two children, and they made a lovely sight; if you can believe it, I never saw him with her unless the children were with them too—which made their courting look quite odd. And my lord is so handsome, you know, that I think she actually began to like him; I’ve seen her smile and blush at some of the things he said. He wanted her even more because the children did, since everyone could see she would be a really caring mother to them, as well as a friend and playmate. My lord is not just handsome, but a fantastic suitor, and he knows all the right moves. He gave her the most beautiful presents; oh, there’s one I remember—a stunning bracelet with diamonds and emeralds. Oh, how her face lit up when she saw it! The old blush came back to her cheeks for a minute or two then. I helped dress her the day we both got married—it was the last thing I did for her, poor girl! When she was ready, I ran upstairs and slipped on my own wedding gown, and off they went, and off went Martin and I; and no sooner had my lord and my lady been married than the parson married us. It was a very quiet pair of weddings—hardly anyone knew about it. Well, hope can hold on in a young heart if it can; and my lady brightened up a bit, because my lord was SO handsome and kind.”
“How came she to die—and away from home?” murmured Knight.
“How did she end up dying—away from home?” Knight murmured.
“Don’t you see, sir, she fell off again afore they’d been married long, and my lord took her abroad for change of scene. They were coming home, and had got as far as London, when she was taken very ill and couldn’t be moved, and there she died.”
“Don’t you see, sir, she fell off again before they’d been married long, and my lord took her abroad for a change of scenery. They were coming home and had gotten as far as London when she got very sick and couldn’t be moved, and that’s where she died.”
“Was he very fond of her?”
“Did he really like her a lot?”
“What, my lord? Oh, he was!”
“What, my lord? Oh, he definitely was!”
“VERY fond of her?”
"Really into her?"
“VERY, beyond everything. Not suddenly, but by slow degrees. ’Twas her nature to win people more when they knew her well. He’d have died for her, I believe. Poor my lord, he’s heart-broken now!”
“Very, more than anything else. Not all at once, but gradually. It was her nature to win people over more the better they got to know her. I think he would have died for her. Poor my lord, he’s heartbroken now!”
“The funeral is to-morrow?”
"The funeral is tomorrow?"
“Yes; my husband is now at the vault with the masons, opening the steps and cleaning down the walls.”
“Yes; my husband is currently at the vault with the masons, uncovering the steps and cleaning the walls.”
The next day two men walked up the familiar valley from Castle Boterel to East Endelstow Church. And when the funeral was over, and every one had left the lawn-like churchyard, the pair went softly down the steps of the Luxellian vault, and under the low-groined arches they had beheld once before, lit up then as now. In the new niche of the crypt lay a rather new coffin, which had lost some of its lustre, and a newer coffin still, bright and untarnished in the slightest degree.
The next day, two men walked up the familiar valley from Castle Boterel to East Endelstow Church. After the funeral was over and everyone had left the lawn-like churchyard, the two of them quietly descended the steps of the Luxellian vault, beneath the low-groined arches they had seen before, illuminated just like before. In the new niche of the crypt lay a somewhat new coffin that had lost some of its shine, and beside it, a newer coffin that was bright and completely untarnished.
Beside the latter was the dark form of a man, kneeling on the damp floor, his body flung across the coffin, his hands clasped, and his whole frame seemingly given up in utter abandonment to grief. He was still young—younger, perhaps, than Knight—and even now showed how graceful was his figure and symmetrical his build. He murmured a prayer half aloud, and was quite unconscious that two others were standing within a few yards of him.
Beside him was a dark silhouette of a man, kneeling on the wet floor, his body draped over the coffin, hands clasped, completely consumed by grief. He was still young—maybe younger than Knight—and even now his figure looked graceful and his build was symmetrical. He mumbled a prayer quietly, unaware that two others were standing just a few yards away from him.
Knight and Stephen had advanced to where they once stood beside Elfride on the day all three had met there, before she had herself gone down into silence like her ancestors, and shut her bright blue eyes for ever. Not until then did they see the kneeling figure in the dim light. Knight instantly recognized the mourner as Lord Luxellian, the bereaved husband of Elfride.
Knight and Stephen had moved to the spot where they once stood with Elfride on the day they all met there, before she had slipped into silence like her ancestors and closed her bright blue eyes forever. It was only then that they noticed the kneeling figure in the dim light. Knight quickly recognized the mourner as Lord Luxellian, Elfride's grieving husband.
They felt themselves to be intruders. Knight pressed Stephen back, and they silently withdrew as they had entered.
They felt like intruders. Knight pushed Stephen back, and they quietly left the way they had come in.
“Come away,” he said, in a broken voice. “We have no right to be there. Another stands before us—nearer to her than we!”
“Let’s go,” he said, in a shaky voice. “We shouldn’t be here. Someone else is in front of us—closer to her than we are!”
And side by side they both retraced their steps down the grey still valley to Castle Boterel.
And together they walked back down the quiet gray valley to Castle Boterel.
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