This is a modern-English version of Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, originally written by Douglass, Frederick. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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Narrative
of the
Life
of
FREDERICK DOUGLASS

AN
AMERICAN SLAVE.
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF.

BOSTON

PUBLISHED AT THE ANTI-SLAVERY OFFICE,
NO. 25 CORNHILL
1845

ENTERED, ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS,
IN THE YEAR 1845
BY FREDERICK DOUGLASS,
IN THE CLERK’S OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT COURT
OF MASSACHUSETTS.

Note from the original file: This electronic book is being released at this time to honor the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. [Born January 15, 1929] [Officially celebrated January 20, 1992]

Note from the original file: This electronic book is being released now to celebrate the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. [Born January 15, 1929] [Officially celebrated January 20, 1992]


Contents

PREFACE
LETTER FROM WENDELL PHILLIPS, ESQ.
FREDERICK DOUGLASS.
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
APPENDIX
A PARODY

PREFACE

In the month of August, 1841, I attended an anti-slavery convention in Nantucket, at which it was my happiness to become acquainted with Frederick Douglass, the writer of the following Narrative. He was a stranger to nearly every member of that body; but, having recently made his escape from the southern prison-house of bondage, and feeling his curiosity excited to ascertain the principles and measures of the abolitionists,—of whom he had heard a somewhat vague description while he was a slave,—he was induced to give his attendance, on the occasion alluded to, though at that time a resident in New Bedford.

In August 1841, I went to an anti-slavery convention in Nantucket, where I had the pleasure of meeting Frederick Douglass, the author of this Narrative. He was unfamiliar to nearly everyone there; however, having recently escaped from the southern prison of slavery and eager to learn about the principles and actions of the abolitionists—of whom he had heard a somewhat unclear description while he was a slave—he decided to attend the event, even though he was living in New Bedford at that time.

Fortunate, most fortunate occurrence!—fortunate for the millions of his manacled brethren, yet panting for deliverance from their awful thraldom!—fortunate for the cause of negro emancipation, and of universal liberty!—fortunate for the land of his birth, which he has already done so much to save and bless!—fortunate for a large circle of friends and acquaintances, whose sympathy and affection he has strongly secured by the many sufferings he has endured, by his virtuous traits of character, by his ever-abiding remembrance of those who are in bonds, as being bound with them!—fortunate for the multitudes, in various parts of our republic, whose minds he has enlightened on the subject of slavery, and who have been melted to tears by his pathos, or roused to virtuous indignation by his stirring eloquence against the enslavers of men!—fortunate for himself, as it at once brought him into the field of public usefulness, “gave the world assurance of a MAN,” quickened the slumbering energies of his soul, and consecrated him to the great work of breaking the rod of the oppressor, and letting the oppressed go free!

Lucky, incredibly lucky event!—lucky for the millions of his imprisoned brothers, who are desperate for freedom from their terrible bondage!—lucky for the cause of black emancipation and universal liberty!—lucky for his home country, which he has already done so much to save and uplift!—lucky for a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, whose love and support he has earned through the many hardships he has faced, by his admirable character, and by his constant remembrance of those who are in chains, as if he were bound with them!—lucky for the countless people, in various parts of our nation, whose understanding of slavery he has enlightened and who have been brought to tears by his heartfelt words, or stirred to righteous anger by his powerful speeches against those who enslave others!—lucky for himself, as it instantly placed him in the realm of public service, “gave the world assurance of a MAN,” awakened the dormant energies of his spirit, and dedicated him to the significant mission of breaking the oppressor's grip and freeing the oppressed!

I shall never forget his first speech at the convention—the extraordinary emotion it excited in my own mind—the powerful impression it created upon a crowded auditory, completely taken by surprise—the applause which followed from the beginning to the end of his felicitous remarks. I think I never hated slavery so intensely as at that moment; certainly, my perception of the enormous outrage which is inflicted by it, on the godlike nature of its victims, was rendered far more clear than ever. There stood one, in physical proportion and stature commanding and exact—in intellect richly endowed—in natural eloquence a prodigy—in soul manifestly “created but a little lower than the angels”—yet a slave, ay, a fugitive slave,—trembling for his safety, hardly daring to believe that on the American soil, a single white person could be found who would befriend him at all hazards, for the love of God and humanity! Capable of high attainments as an intellectual and moral being—needing nothing but a comparatively small amount of cultivation to make him an ornament to society and a blessing to his race—by the law of the land, by the voice of the people, by the terms of the slave code, he was only a piece of property, a beast of burden, a chattel personal, nevertheless!

I will never forget his first speech at the convention—the incredible emotion it stirred in me—the strong impression it made on a packed audience, completely caught off guard—the applause that came from start to finish of his exceptional remarks. I think I never hated slavery as passionately as I did at that moment; certainly, my understanding of the terrible injustice it inflicts on the godlike nature of its victims was clearer than ever. There stood a man, physically impressive and commanding—intellectually gifted—an extraordinary speaker—clearly “created but a little lower than the angels”—yet a slave, yes, a fugitive slave, trembling for his safety, hardly daring to believe that on American soil, a single white person could be found who would help him at all costs, out of love for God and humanity! Capable of achieving great things as an intellectual and moral being—needing only a relatively small amount of support to become an asset to society and a blessing to his people—by the law of the land, by the will of the people, by the terms of the slave code, he was reduced to nothing more than property, a beast of burden, a personal chattel, nevertheless!

A beloved friend from New Bedford prevailed on Mr. DOUGLASS to address the convention. He came forward to the platform with a hesitancy and embarrassment, necessarily the attendants of a sensitive mind in such a novel position. After apologizing for his ignorance, and reminding the audience that slavery was a poor school for the human intellect and heart, he proceeded to narrate some of the facts in his own history as a slave, and in the course of his speech gave utterance to many noble thoughts and thrilling reflections. As soon as he had taken his seat, filled with hope and admiration, I rose, and declared that PATRICK HENRY, of revolutionary fame, never made a speech more eloquent in the cause of liberty, than the one we had just listened to from the lips of that hunted fugitive. So I believed at that time—such is my belief now. I reminded the audience of the peril which surrounded this self-emancipated young man at the North,—even in Massachusetts, on the soil of the Pilgrim Fathers, among the descendants of revolutionary sires; and I appealed to them, whether they would ever allow him to be carried back into slavery,—law or no law, constitution or no constitution. The response was unanimous and in thunder-tones—“NO!” “Will you succor and protect him as a brother-man—a resident of the old Bay State?” “YES!” shouted the whole mass, with an energy so startling, that the ruthless tyrants south of Mason and Dixon’s line might almost have heard the mighty burst of feeling, and recognized it as the pledge of an invincible determination, on the part of those who gave it, never to betray him that wanders, but to hide the outcast, and firmly to abide the consequences.

A close friend from New Bedford urged Mr. DOUGLASS to speak at the convention. He stepped up to the platform with hesitation and embarrassment, emotions that understandably accompany a sensitive person in such a new situation. After apologizing for his lack of knowledge, and reminding the audience that slavery is a terrible teacher for the mind and heart, he went on to share some of his experiences as a slave, conveying many profound thoughts and powerful reflections during his speech. Once he took his seat, filled with hope and admiration, I stood up and declared that PATRICK HENRY, of revolutionary fame, never delivered a speech more eloquent in the name of liberty than the one we just heard from that fleeing fugitive. That’s what I believed then—and I believe it now. I reminded the audience of the dangers that surrounded this self-emancipated young man in the North—even in Massachusetts, on the soil of the Pilgrim Fathers, among the descendants of revolutionary ancestors; and I asked them whether they would ever allow him to be returned to slavery—law or no law, constitution or no constitution. The response was a resounding and thunderous “NO!” “Will you support and protect him as a fellow human being—a resident of the old Bay State?” “YES!” shouted the entire crowd, with such intensity that the cruel oppressors south of Mason and Dixon’s line might have almost heard their powerful outcry and recognized it as a commitment of unwavering resolve from those who expressed it, to never betray the fugitive, but to shelter the outcast, and stand firmly by the consequences.

It was at once deeply impressed upon my mind, that, if Mr. DOUGLASS could be persuaded to consecrate his time and talents to the promotion of the anti-slavery enterprise, a powerful impetus would be given to it, and a stunning blow at the same time inflicted on northern prejudice against a colored complexion. I therefore endeavored to instil hope and courage into his mind, in order that he might dare to engage in a vocation so anomalous and responsible for a person in his situation; and I was seconded in this effort by warm-hearted friends, especially by the late General Agent of the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society, Mr. JOHN A. COLLINS, whose judgment in this instance entirely coincided with my own. At first, he could give no encouragement; with unfeigned diffidence, he expressed his conviction that he was not adequate to the performance of so great a task; the path marked out was wholly an untrodden one; he was sincerely apprehensive that he should do more harm than good. After much deliberation, however, he consented to make a trial; and ever since that period, he has acted as a lecturing agent, under the auspices either of the American or the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society. In labors he has been most abundant; and his success in combating prejudice, in gaining proselytes, in agitating the public mind, has far surpassed the most sanguine expectations that were raised at the commencement of his brilliant career. He has borne himself with gentleness and meekness, yet with true manliness of character. As a public speaker, he excels in pathos, wit, comparison, imitation, strength of reasoning, and fluency of language. There is in him that union of head and heart, which is indispensable to an enlightenment of the heads and a winning of the hearts of others. May his strength continue to be equal to his day! May he continue to “grow in grace, and in the knowledge of God,” that he may be increasingly serviceable in the cause of bleeding humanity, whether at home or abroad!

It became clear to me that if Mr. DOUGLASS could be convinced to dedicate his time and talents to the anti-slavery movement, it would greatly boost the cause and also make a strong impact against northern prejudice towards people of color. So, I tried to instill hope and courage in him so he would feel brave enough to take on such an unusual and significant role for someone in his position. I was supported in this effort by caring friends, especially the late General Agent of the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society, Mr. JOHN A. COLLINS, whose views fully aligned with mine. At first, he offered no encouragement; with genuine humility, he expressed his belief that he was not capable of handling such a monumental task. The path ahead was completely uncharted, and he was genuinely concerned he might do more harm than good. However, after much reflection, he agreed to give it a try; and since then, he has served as a lecturer under the guidance of either the American or the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society. He has been incredibly dedicated in his efforts, and his success in challenging prejudice, gaining supporters, and stirring public opinion has far exceeded the most optimistic expectations we had at the start of his impressive journey. He has carried himself with gentleness and humility, while also showing true strength of character. As a public speaker, he stands out for his emotional appeal, humor, use of comparisons, mimicry, logical reasoning, and fluidity of language. He possesses a blend of intellect and compassion that is essential for enlightening minds and winning hearts. May his strength remain equal to the challenges he faces! May he continue to “grow in grace, and in the knowledge of God,” so he can be even more helpful in the cause of oppressed humanity, whether at home or abroad!

It is certainly a very remarkable fact, that one of the most efficient advocates of the slave population, now before the public, is a fugitive slave, in the person of Frederick Douglass; and that the free colored population of the United States are as ably represented by one of their own number, in the person of Charles Lenox Remond, whose eloquent appeals have extorted the highest applause of multitudes on both sides of the Atlantic. Let the calumniators of the colored race despise themselves for their baseness and illiberality of spirit, and henceforth cease to talk of the natural inferiority of those who require nothing but time and opportunity to attain to the highest point of human excellence.

It’s truly remarkable that one of the most effective advocates for enslaved people right now is a runaway slave, Frederick Douglass; and that the free Black population of the United States is well represented by one of their own, Charles Lenox Remond, whose powerful speeches have earned him the highest praise from crowds on both sides of the Atlantic. Those who slander the Black race should reflect on their own lack of decency and kindness, and should stop claiming that there’s a natural inferiority in those who just need time and opportunity to reach the highest levels of human achievement.

It may, perhaps, be fairly questioned, whether any other portion of the population of the earth could have endured the privations, sufferings and horrors of slavery, without having become more degraded in the scale of humanity than the slaves of African descent. Nothing has been left undone to cripple their intellects, darken their minds, debase their moral nature, obliterate all traces of their relationship to mankind; and yet how wonderfully they have sustained the mighty load of a most frightful bondage, under which they have been groaning for centuries! To illustrate the effect of slavery on the white man,—to show that he has no powers of endurance, in such a condition, superior to those of his black brother,—Daniel O’Connell, the distinguished advocate of universal emancipation, and the mightiest champion of prostrate but not conquered Ireland, relates the following anecdote in a speech delivered by him in the Conciliation Hall, Dublin, before the Loyal National Repeal Association, March 31, 1845. “No matter,” said Mr. O’Connell, “under what specious term it may disguise itself, slavery is still hideous. It has a natural, an inevitable tendency to brutalize every noble faculty of man. An American sailor, who was cast away on the shore of Africa, where he was kept in slavery for three years, was, at the expiration of that period, found to be imbruted and stultified—he had lost all reasoning power; and having forgotten his native language, could only utter some savage gibberish between Arabic and English, which nobody could understand, and which even he himself found difficulty in pronouncing. So much for the humanizing influence of The Domestic Institution!” Admitting this to have been an extraordinary case of mental deterioration, it proves at least that the white slave can sink as low in the scale of humanity as the black one.

It can be fairly questioned whether any other group of people on earth could have endured the hardships, suffering, and horrors of slavery without becoming more degraded than the enslaved people of African descent. Everything has been done to undermine their intellects, cloud their minds, degrade their moral character, and erase all signs of their connection to humanity; and yet, how remarkably they have carried the heavy burden of such dreadful bondage that they have suffered under for centuries! To illustrate the impact of slavery on white people — to show that they have no more endurance in such a situation than their black counterparts — Daniel O’Connell, the renowned advocate for universal freedom and the strongest voice for oppressed but not defeated Ireland, shared the following story in a speech he gave at Conciliation Hall, Dublin, before the Loyal National Repeal Association on March 31, 1845. “No matter,” said Mr. O’Connell, “how slavery disguises itself with appealing terms, it remains ugly. It has a natural, inevitable tendency to brutalize every noble quality of man. An American sailor, who found himself stranded on the coast of Africa and was kept as a slave for three years, was discovered after that time to have become nearly animalistic and mentally numb—he had lost all ability to reason; and having forgotten his native language, he could only produce a mix of Arabic and English that sounded like savage gibberish, which nobody could understand, and which even he had trouble pronouncing. So much for the humanizing influence of The Domestic Institution!” While this may have been an extreme case of mental decline, it at least shows that a white slave can sink as low in the scale of humanity as a black one.

Mr. Douglass has very properly chosen to write his own Narrative, in his own style, and according to the best of his ability, rather than to employ some one else. It is, therefore, entirely his own production; and, considering how long and dark was the career he had to run as a slave,—how few have been his opportunities to improve his mind since he broke his iron fetters,—it is, in my judgment, highly creditable to his head and heart. He who can peruse it without a tearful eye, a heaving breast, an afflicted spirit,—without being filled with an unutterable abhorrence of slavery and all its abettors, and animated with a determination to seek the immediate overthrow of that execrable system,—without trembling for the fate of this country in the hands of a righteous God, who is ever on the side of the oppressed, and whose arm is not shortened that it cannot save,—must have a flinty heart, and be qualified to act the part of a trafficker “in slaves and the souls of men.” I am confident that it is essentially true in all its statements; that nothing has been set down in malice, nothing exaggerated, nothing drawn from the imagination; that it comes short of the reality, rather than overstates a single fact in regard to slavery as it is. The experience of Frederick Douglass, as a slave, was not a peculiar one; his lot was not especially a hard one; his case may be regarded as a very fair specimen of the treatment of slaves in Maryland, in which State it is conceded that they are better fed and less cruelly treated than in Georgia, Alabama, or Louisiana. Many have suffered incomparably more, while very few on the plantations have suffered less, than himself. Yet how deplorable was his situation! what terrible chastisements were inflicted upon his person! what still more shocking outrages were perpetrated upon his mind! with all his noble powers and sublime aspirations, how like a brute was he treated, even by those professing to have the same mind in them that was in Christ Jesus! to what dreadful liabilities was he continually subjected! how destitute of friendly counsel and aid, even in his greatest extremities! how heavy was the midnight of woe which shrouded in blackness the last ray of hope, and filled the future with terror and gloom! what longings after freedom took possession of his breast, and how his misery augmented, in proportion as he grew reflective and intelligent,—thus demonstrating that a happy slave is an extinct man! how he thought, reasoned, felt, under the lash of the driver, with the chains upon his limbs! what perils he encountered in his endeavors to escape from his horrible doom! and how signal have been his deliverance and preservation in the midst of a nation of pitiless enemies!

Mr. Douglass has rightly chosen to write his own Narrative, in his own voice and to the best of his ability, rather than having someone else do it. Therefore, it is entirely his own work; and considering how long and dark his experience was as a slave—how few opportunities he had to better himself since he broke free from his chains—it is, in my opinion, a remarkable testament to his intellect and character. Anyone who can read it without shedding a tear, without feeling a heavy heart or a troubled spirit—without being filled with an indescribable disgust for slavery and all its supporters, and driven by a determination to seek the immediate end of that abhorrent system—without fearing for the fate of this country in the hands of a just God, who always sides with the oppressed and whose arm is not too short to save—must have a heart of stone and be fit to play the role of a trader “in slaves and the souls of men.” I am confident that everything he states is essentially true; that nothing has been written out of spite, nothing exaggerated, nothing imagined; that it falls short of reality rather than exaggerating even a single fact concerning slavery as it is. The experience of Frederick Douglass as a slave was not unique; his situation was not especially harsh; his case can be seen as a typical example of how slaves were treated in Maryland, where it is acknowledged that they are better fed and less cruelly treated than in Georgia, Alabama, or Louisiana. Many have endured far worse suffering, while very few on the plantations have had it easier than he did. Yet how tragic was his situation! what terrible punishments were inflicted on him! what even more horrendous abuses were imposed on his mind! with all his noble capabilities and high aspirations, how he was treated like an animal, even by those who claimed to share the same mind as Christ! to what horrible risks was he constantly exposed! how lacking was he in friendly advice and support, even in his most desperate times! how heavy was the darkness of despair that overshadowed the last glimmer of hope and filled the future with fear and gloom! what deep desires for freedom filled his heart, and how his suffering grew as he became more reflective and aware—showing that a happy slave is a hopeless contradiction! how he thought, reasoned, and felt under the whip of the overseer, with chains on his limbs! what dangers he faced in his attempts to escape from his dreadful fate! and how remarkable has been his rescue and survival in the midst of a nation of ruthless enemies!

This Narrative contains many affecting incidents, many passages of great eloquence and power; but I think the most thrilling one of them all is the description Douglass gives of his feelings, as he stood soliloquizing respecting his fate, and the chances of his one day being a freeman, on the banks of the Chesapeake Bay—viewing the receding vessels as they flew with their white wings before the breeze, and apostrophizing them as animated by the living spirit of freedom. Who can read that passage, and be insensible to its pathos and sublimity? Compressed into it is a whole Alexandrian library of thought, feeling, and sentiment—all that can, all that need be urged, in the form of expostulation, entreaty, rebuke, against that crime of crimes,—making man the property of his fellow-man! O, how accursed is that system, which entombs the godlike mind of man, defaces the divine image, reduces those who by creation were crowned with glory and honor to a level with four-footed beasts, and exalts the dealer in human flesh above all that is called God! Why should its existence be prolonged one hour? Is it not evil, only evil, and that continually? What does its presence imply but the absence of all fear of God, all regard for man, on the part of the people of the United States? Heaven speed its eternal overthrow!

This Narrative includes many touching incidents and powerful passages; however, I think the most moving one is the description Douglass shares of his feelings as he pondered his fate and the possibility of one day being free on the shores of Chesapeake Bay—watching the boats sail away with their white sails in the breeze and calling out to them as if they embodied the spirit of freedom. Who can read that part without being moved by its emotion and greatness? It contains a whole library's worth of thoughts, feelings, and sentiments—all that can and should be said in protest, pleading, and condemnation against the greatest crime of all—making one man the property of another! Oh, how cursed is that system which traps the noble mind of man, distorts the divine image, lowers those who were created for greatness and honor to the level of beasts, and lifts up the slaver above all that is sacred! Why should it continue to exist for even one more hour? Is it not solely evil, constantly and without exception? What does its presence indicate but a complete lack of fear of God and disregard for humanity by the people of the United States? May its destruction be swift and everlasting!

So profoundly ignorant of the nature of slavery are many persons, that they are stubbornly incredulous whenever they read or listen to any recital of the cruelties which are daily inflicted on its victims. They do not deny that the slaves are held as property; but that terrible fact seems to convey to their minds no idea of injustice, exposure to outrage, or savage barbarity. Tell them of cruel scourgings, of mutilations and brandings, of scenes of pollution and blood, of the banishment of all light and knowledge, and they affect to be greatly indignant at such enormous exaggerations, such wholesale misstatements, such abominable libels on the character of the southern planters! As if all these direful outrages were not the natural results of slavery! As if it were less cruel to reduce a human being to the condition of a thing, than to give him a severe flagellation, or to deprive him of necessary food and clothing! As if whips, chains, thumb-screws, paddles, blood-hounds, overseers, drivers, patrols, were not all indispensable to keep the slaves down, and to give protection to their ruthless oppressors! As if, when the marriage institution is abolished, concubinage, adultery, and incest, must not necessarily abound; when all the rights of humanity are annihilated, any barrier remains to protect the victim from the fury of the spoiler; when absolute power is assumed over life and liberty, it will not be wielded with destructive sway! Skeptics of this character abound in society. In some few instances, their incredulity arises from a want of reflection; but, generally, it indicates a hatred of the light, a desire to shield slavery from the assaults of its foes, a contempt of the colored race, whether bond or free. Such will try to discredit the shocking tales of slaveholding cruelty which are recorded in this truthful Narrative; but they will labor in vain. Mr. Douglass has frankly disclosed the place of his birth, the names of those who claimed ownership in his body and soul, and the names also of those who committed the crimes which he has alleged against them. His statements, therefore, may easily be disproved, if they are untrue.

So profoundly ignorant of the nature of slavery are many people that they stubbornly refuse to believe any accounts of the daily cruelties inflicted on its victims. They don’t deny that slaves are treated as property, but that awful fact doesn’t seem to register with them as injustice, exposure to harm, or brutal brutality. If you tell them about cruel beatings, mutilations and branding, scenes of violence and blood, and the total ban on light and knowledge, they pretend to be outraged by what they see as exaggerations, gross misstatements, and terrible slanders against Southern planters! As if all these horrific acts weren’t the natural outcomes of slavery! As if it’s any less cruel to reduce a human being to the status of an object than to whip him or deny him basic food and clothing! As if whips, chains, thumb screws, paddles, bloodhounds, overseers, drivers, and patrols weren't all essential to keep the slaves oppressed and to protect their merciless oppressors! As if, when marriage is abolished, concubinage, adultery, and incest won’t inevitably increase; when all human rights are destroyed, what protects the victim from the wrath of their abuser; when total power is taken over life and freedom, it won’t be wielded in a destructive manner! Skeptics like this are common in society. In some cases, their disbelief comes from a lack of thought; but generally, it reflects a hatred of the truth, a need to shield slavery from its critics, and a disdain for the colored race, whether enslaved or free. They may try to discredit the shocking stories of slaveholding cruelty documented in this honest Narrative; but their efforts will be in vain. Mr. Douglass has openly revealed where he was born, the names of those who claimed ownership of his body and soul, and the names of those who committed the alleged crimes against him. Therefore, his statements can easily be proven false if they are untrue.

In the course of his Narrative, he relates two instances of murderous cruelty,—in one of which a planter deliberately shot a slave belonging to a neighboring plantation, who had unintentionally gotten within his lordly domain in quest of fish; and in the other, an overseer blew out the brains of a slave who had fled to a stream of water to escape a bloody scourging. Mr. Douglass states that in neither of these instances was any thing done by way of legal arrest or judicial investigation. The Baltimore American, of March 17, 1845, relates a similar case of atrocity, perpetrated with similar impunity—as follows:—“Shooting a slave.—We learn, upon the authority of a letter from Charles county, Maryland, received by a gentleman of this city, that a young man, named Matthews, a nephew of General Matthews, and whose father, it is believed, holds an office at Washington, killed one of the slaves upon his father’s farm by shooting him. The letter states that young Matthews had been left in charge of the farm; that he gave an order to the servant, which was disobeyed, when he proceeded to the house, obtained a gun, and, returning, shot the servant. He immediately, the letter continues, fled to his father’s residence, where he still remains unmolested.”—Let it never be forgotten, that no slaveholder or overseer can be convicted of any outrage perpetrated on the person of a slave, however diabolical it may be, on the testimony of colored witnesses, whether bond or free. By the slave code, they are adjudged to be as incompetent to testify against a white man, as though they were indeed a part of the brute creation. Hence, there is no legal protection in fact, whatever there may be in form, for the slave population; and any amount of cruelty may be inflicted on them with impunity. Is it possible for the human mind to conceive of a more horrible state of society?

In his Narrative, he shares two examples of brutal murder—one where a plantation owner shot a slave from a nearby farm who accidentally wandered onto his property while looking for fish; and another where an overseer killed a slave who had run to a stream to escape a violent beating. Mr. Douglass mentions that in neither case was there any legal action or investigation. The Baltimore American, on March 17, 1845, reports a similar atrocity committed with the same lack of consequences: “Shooting a slave.—We learn from a letter from Charles County, Maryland, received by a local gentleman, that a young man named Matthews, a nephew of General Matthews, whose father is believed to hold a position in Washington, shot one of the slaves on his father’s farm. The letter explains that young Matthews was left in charge of the farm; he gave an order to a servant, which was disobeyed, so he went to the house, got a gun, and came back to shoot the servant. He then immediately fled to his father’s home, where he still lives without any consequences.” — It should never be forgotten that no slaveholder or overseer can be held accountable for any crimes committed against a slave, no matter how horrific, based solely on the testimony of Black witnesses, whether they are enslaved or free. According to the slave code, they are considered as incompetent to testify against a white person as if they were part of the animal kingdom. Therefore, there is no real legal protection for the enslaved population; any level of cruelty can be inflicted on them without punishment. Can the human mind even imagine a more horrific state of society?

The effect of a religious profession on the conduct of southern masters is vividly described in the following Narrative, and shown to be any thing but salutary. In the nature of the case, it must be in the highest degree pernicious. The testimony of Mr. Douglass, on this point, is sustained by a cloud of witnesses, whose veracity is unimpeachable. “A slaveholder’s profession of Christianity is a palpable imposture. He is a felon of the highest grade. He is a man-stealer. It is of no importance what you put in the other scale.”

The impact of a religious affiliation on the behavior of southern slave owners is clearly illustrated in the following narrative, and it proves to be anything but beneficial. Given the circumstances, it must be exceedingly harmful. The testimony of Mr. Douglass on this issue is supported by numerous witnesses, whose honesty is unquestionable. “A slaveholder’s claim of Christianity is a blatant deception. He is a criminal of the highest order. He is a trafficker of human beings. It doesn’t matter what you weigh against it.”

Reader! are you with the man-stealers in sympathy and purpose, or on the side of their down-trodden victims? If with the former, then are you the foe of God and man. If with the latter, what are you prepared to do and dare in their behalf? Be faithful, be vigilant, be untiring in your efforts to break every yoke, and let the oppressed go free. Come what may—cost what it may—inscribe on the banner which you unfurl to the breeze, as your religious and political motto—“NO COMPROMISE WITH SLAVERY! NO UNION WITH SLAVEHOLDERS!”

Reader! Are you sympathizing with the people who steal others for their own gain, or are you standing with their oppressed victims? If you're with the former, then you are an enemy of both God and humanity. If you're with the latter, what are you ready to do and risk for their sake? Be faithful, be alert, and be tireless in your efforts to break every bond and set the oppressed free. No matter what happens—no matter the cost—make sure your banner that you raise to the wind proclaims, as your religious and political creed, “NO COMPROMISE WITH SLAVERY! NO UNION WITH SLAVEHOLDERS!”

WM. LLOYD GARRISON BOSTON,

WM. LLOYD GARRISON BOSTON,

May 1, 1845.

May 1, 1845.

LETTER FROM WENDELL PHILLIPS, ESQ.

BOSTON, April 22, 1845.

BOSTON, April 22, 1845.

My Dear Friend:

Hey Friend:

You remember the old fable of “The Man and the Lion,” where the lion complained that he should not be so misrepresented “when the lions wrote history.”

You remember the old fable of “The Man and the Lion,” where the lion complained that he shouldn’t be misrepresented “when the lions wrote history.”

I am glad the time has come when the “lions write history.” We have been left long enough to gather the character of slavery from the involuntary evidence of the masters. One might, indeed, rest sufficiently satisfied with what, it is evident, must be, in general, the results of such a relation, without seeking farther to find whether they have followed in every instance. Indeed, those who stare at the half-peck of corn a week, and love to count the lashes on the slave’s back, are seldom the “stuff” out of which reformers and abolitionists are to be made. I remember that, in 1838, many were waiting for the results of the West India experiment, before they could come into our ranks. Those “results” have come long ago; but, alas! few of that number have come with them, as converts. A man must be disposed to judge of emancipation by other tests than whether it has increased the produce of sugar,—and to hate slavery for other reasons than because it starves men and whips women,—before he is ready to lay the first stone of his anti-slavery life.

I’m glad the time has come when the "lions write history." We’ve been left alone long enough to understand the true nature of slavery based on the involuntary evidence from the masters. One could feel satisfied with what is clearly the general outcome of such a relationship without digging deeper to see if that holds true in every case. In fact, those who focus on the half-peck of corn a week and take pleasure in counting the lashes on a slave’s back are rarely the type of people who become reformers and abolitionists. I remember that in 1838, many were waiting for the outcome of the West India experiment before they would join our cause. Those "results" have been around for a long time, but, unfortunately, few have joined us as converts. A person must be willing to evaluate emancipation based on deeper criteria than whether it has boosted sugar production—and to despise slavery for more reasons than just that it starves men and whips women—before they are ready to take the first step in their anti-slavery journey.

I was glad to learn, in your story, how early the most neglected of God’s children waken to a sense of their rights, and of the injustice done them. Experience is a keen teacher; and long before you had mastered your A B C, or knew where the “white sails” of the Chesapeake were bound, you began, I see, to gauge the wretchedness of the slave, not by his hunger and want, not by his lashes and toil, but by the cruel and blighting death which gathers over his soul.

I was happy to read in your story how early the most overlooked of God’s children become aware of their rights and the injustices done to them. Experience is a tough teacher; and long before you learned your ABCs or knew where the “white sails” of the Chesapeake were headed, you started, I can see, to understand the misery of the slave, not by his hunger and suffering, not by his beatings and labor, but by the harsh and devastating death that looms over his soul.

In connection with this, there is one circumstance which makes your recollections peculiarly valuable, and renders your early insight the more remarkable. You come from that part of the country where we are told slavery appears with its fairest features. Let us hear, then, what it is at its best estate—gaze on its bright side, if it has one; and then imagination may task her powers to add dark lines to the picture, as she travels southward to that (for the colored man) Valley of the Shadow of Death, where the Mississippi sweeps along.

In relation to this, there’s one factor that makes your memories especially valuable and highlights your early understanding. You come from the region where it’s said that slavery shows its most appealing aspects. So, let’s hear what it’s like at its best—let’s look at its positives, if there are any; and then imagination can work to add darker elements to the image as it moves southward to that (for the Black man) Valley of the Shadow of Death, where the Mississippi flows.

Again, we have known you long, and can put the most entire confidence in your truth, candor, and sincerity. Every one who has heard you speak has felt, and, I am confident, every one who reads your book will feel, persuaded that you give them a fair specimen of the whole truth. No one-sided portrait,—no wholesale complaints,—but strict justice done, whenever individual kindliness has neutralized, for a moment, the deadly system with which it was strangely allied. You have been with us, too, some years, and can fairly compare the twilight of rights, which your race enjoy at the North, with that “noon of night” under which they labor south of Mason and Dixon’s line. Tell us whether, after all, the half-free colored man of Massachusetts is worse off than the pampered slave of the rice swamps!

Once again, we've known you for a long time and can completely trust your honesty, openness, and sincerity. Everyone who has heard you speak has felt this, and I’m sure everyone who reads your book will feel the same way, convinced that you’re presenting them with a true representation of the whole truth. Not a one-sided picture—no sweeping complaints—but real justice served, whenever personal kindness has briefly countered the oppressive system it's oddly linked to. You've been with us for some years now and can fairly compare the limited rights your race has in the North with the severe conditions they endure south of Mason and Dixon's line. Tell us, do you think that the half-free Black man in Massachusetts is worse off than the privileged slave in the rice swamps?

In reading your life, no one can say that we have unfairly picked out some rare specimens of cruelty. We know that the bitter drops, which even you have drained from the cup, are no incidental aggravations, no individual ills, but such as must mingle always and necessarily in the lot of every slave. They are the essential ingredients, not the occasional results, of the system.

In reflecting on your life, nobody can claim that we've unfairly highlighted a few uncommon instances of cruelty. We understand that the painful experiences, which even you have faced, are not just random annoyances or personal misfortunes, but realities that every slave must endure. They are the fundamental components, not just occasional outcomes, of the system.

After all, I shall read your book with trembling for you. Some years ago, when you were beginning to tell me your real name and birthplace, you may remember I stopped you, and preferred to remain ignorant of all. With the exception of a vague description, so I continued, till the other day, when you read me your memoirs. I hardly knew, at the time, whether to thank you or not for the sight of them, when I reflected that it was still dangerous, in Massachusetts, for honest men to tell their names! They say the fathers, in 1776, signed the Declaration of Independence with the halter about their necks. You, too, publish your declaration of freedom with danger compassing you around. In all the broad lands which the Constitution of the United States overshadows, there is no single spot,—however narrow or desolate,—where a fugitive slave can plant himself and say, “I am safe.” The whole armory of Northern Law has no shield for you. I am free to say that, in your place, I should throw the MS. into the fire.

After all, I will read your book with anxiety for you. A few years ago, when you started to tell me your real name and where you were from, you might remember I stopped you and chose to stay in the dark about everything. Besides a vague description, I remained unaware until the other day when you shared your memoirs with me. At the time, I wasn’t sure if I should thank you or not for showing them to me, considering it was still risky in Massachusetts for honest people to reveal their names! They say the founders, in 1776, signed the Declaration of Independence with a noose around their necks. You, too, are publishing your declaration of freedom while danger surrounds you. In all the vast lands covered by the Constitution of the United States, there isn’t a single place—no matter how small or lonely—where a runaway slave can stand and say, “I am safe.” The entire arsenal of Northern Law has no protection for you. I can honestly say that if I were in your position, I would throw the manuscript into the fire.

You, perhaps, may tell your story in safety, endeared as you are to so many warm hearts by rare gifts, and a still rarer devotion of them to the service of others. But it will be owing only to your labors, and the fearless efforts of those who, trampling the laws and Constitution of the country under their feet, are determined that they will “hide the outcast,” and that their hearths shall be, spite of the law, an asylum for the oppressed, if, some time or other, the humblest may stand in our streets, and bear witness in safety against the cruelties of which he has been the victim.

You might be able to tell your story safely, especially since you’re loved by so many for your unique talents and even more for your selfless commitment to helping others. But this is only because of your hard work and the brave efforts of those who, disregarding the laws and Constitution of the country, are determined to “hide the outcast.” They want their homes to be, against the law, a refuge for the oppressed. If one day, the most vulnerable among us can stand in our streets and share their experiences without fear, it will be thanks to them.

Yet it is sad to think, that these very throbbing hearts which welcome your story, and form your best safeguard in telling it, are all beating contrary to the “statute in such case made and provided.” Go on, my dear friend, till you, and those who, like you, have been saved, so as by fire, from the dark prison-house, shall stereotype these free, illegal pulses into statutes; and New England, cutting loose from a blood-stained Union, shall glory in being the house of refuge for the oppressed,—till we no longer merely “hide the outcast,” or make a merit of standing idly by while he is hunted in our midst; but, consecrating anew the soil of the Pilgrims as an asylum for the oppressed, proclaim our welcome to the slave so loudly, that the tones shall reach every hut in the Carolinas, and make the broken-hearted bondman leap up at the thought of old Massachusetts.

Yet it's sad to think that these very passionate hearts, which embrace your story and serve as your best protection while sharing it, are all beating against the "law established for such situations." Keep going, my dear friend, until you and those like you, who have been saved, literally from the fires, escape the dark prison, will turn these free, unlawful pulses into laws; and New England, breaking away from a blood-stained Union, will take pride in being a safe haven for the oppressed—until we no longer simply "hide the outcast" or claim virtue for standing idly by while he is hunted around us; but, renewing the Pilgrims’ land as a refuge for the oppressed, will proclaim our welcome to the slave so loudly that the message reaches every home in the Carolinas and makes the heartbroken bondman leap at the thought of old Massachusetts.

God speed the day!                                
Till then, and ever,            
Yours truly,
WENDELL PHILLIPS

God help us when that day comes!                                
Until then, and always,            
Yours truly,
WENDELL PHILLIPS

FREDERICK DOUGLASS.

Frederick Douglass was born in slavery as Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey near Easton in Talbot County, Maryland. He was not sure of the exact year of his birth, but he knew that it was 1817 or 1818. As a young boy he was sent to Baltimore, to be a house servant, where he learned to read and write, with the assistance of his master’s wife. In 1838 he escaped from slavery and went to New York City, where he married Anna Murray, a free colored woman whom he had met in Baltimore. Soon thereafter he changed his name to Frederick Douglass. In 1841 he addressed a convention of the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society in Nantucket and so greatly impressed the group that they immediately employed him as an agent. He was such an impressive orator that numerous persons doubted if he had ever been a slave, so he wrote Narrative Of The Life Of Frederick Douglass. During the Civil War he assisted in the recruiting of colored men for the 54th and 55th Massachusetts Regiments and consistently argued for the emancipation of slaves. After the war he was active in securing and protecting the rights of the freemen. In his later years, at different times, he was secretary of the Santo Domingo Commission, marshall and recorder of deeds of the District of Columbia, and United States Minister to Haiti. His other autobiographical works are My Bondage And My Freedom and Life And Times Of Frederick Douglass, published in 1855 and 1881 respectively. He died in 1895.

Frederick Douglass was born into slavery as Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey near Easton in Talbot County, Maryland. He wasn’t sure of the exact year he was born, but he believed it was 1817 or 1818. As a young boy, he was sent to Baltimore to be a house servant, where he learned to read and write with the help of his master’s wife. In 1838, he escaped from slavery and went to New York City, where he married Anna Murray, a free woman of color whom he had met in Baltimore. Soon after, he changed his name to Frederick Douglass. In 1841, he spoke at a convention of the Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society in Nantucket and impressed the group so much that they hired him as an agent on the spot. He was such a powerful speaker that many people doubted he had ever been a slave, so he wrote Narrative Of The Life Of Frederick Douglass. During the Civil War, he helped recruit men of color for the 54th and 55th Massachusetts Regiments and consistently advocated for the emancipation of slaves. After the war, he worked to secure and protect the rights of freedmen. In his later years, he served at different times as secretary of the Santo Domingo Commission, marshal and recorder of deeds for the District of Columbia, and United States Minister to Haiti. His other autobiographical works include My Bondage And My Freedom and Life And Times Of Frederick Douglass, published in 1855 and 1881, respectively. He died in 1895.

CHAPTER I

I was born in Tuckahoe, near Hillsborough, and about twelve miles from Easton, in Talbot county, Maryland. I have no accurate knowledge of my age, never having seen any authentic record containing it. By far the larger part of the slaves know as little of their ages as horses know of theirs, and it is the wish of most masters within my knowledge to keep their slaves thus ignorant. I do not remember to have ever met a slave who could tell of his birthday. They seldom come nearer to it than planting-time, harvest-time, cherry-time, spring-time, or fall-time. A want of information concerning my own was a source of unhappiness to me even during childhood. The white children could tell their ages. I could not tell why I ought to be deprived of the same privilege. I was not allowed to make any inquiries of my master concerning it. He deemed all such inquiries on the part of a slave improper and impertinent, and evidence of a restless spirit. The nearest estimate I can give makes me now between twenty-seven and twenty-eight years of age. I come to this, from hearing my master say, some time during 1835, I was about seventeen years old.

I was born in Tuckahoe, near Hillsborough, about twelve miles from Easton, in Talbot County, Maryland. I don't have any real knowledge of my age since I've never seen any official record with it. Most slaves know as little about their ages as horses do, and many masters I know prefer to keep their slaves in the dark. I don't remember ever meeting a slave who could tell me their birthday. They usually refer to it as planting season, harvest season, cherry season, springtime, or fall time. Not knowing my own age made me unhappy even as a child. White kids could tell their ages, and I didn't understand why I wasn’t allowed the same right. I couldn't ask my master about it because he thought all such questions from a slave were inappropriate and disrespectful, showing a restless spirit. The closest guess I can give is that I'm now between twenty-seven and twenty-eight years old. I come to this conclusion from hearing my master say, sometime in 1835, that I was around seventeen.

My mother was named Harriet Bailey. She was the daughter of Isaac and Betsey Bailey, both colored, and quite dark. My mother was of a darker complexion than either my grandmother or grandfather.

My mother was named Harriet Bailey. She was the daughter of Isaac and Betsey Bailey, both Black, and quite dark. My mother had a darker complexion than either my grandmother or grandfather.

My father was a white man. He was admitted to be such by all I ever heard speak of my parentage. The opinion was also whispered that my master was my father; but of the correctness of this opinion, I know nothing; the means of knowing was withheld from me. My mother and I were separated when I was but an infant—before I knew her as my mother. It is a common custom, in the part of Maryland from which I ran away, to part children from their mothers at a very early age. Frequently, before the child has reached its twelfth month, its mother is taken from it, and hired out on some farm a considerable distance off, and the child is placed under the care of an old woman, too old for field labor. For what this separation is done, I do not know, unless it be to hinder the development of the child’s affection toward its mother, and to blunt and destroy the natural affection of the mother for the child. This is the inevitable result.

My father was a white man. Everyone I’ve ever heard talk about my background acknowledged this. There were also whispers that my master was my father; however, I have no way of knowing if that’s true because I wasn’t given the means to find out. My mother and I were separated when I was just a baby—before I even knew who she was. In the part of Maryland where I escaped from, it’s common to separate children from their mothers at a very young age. Often, before a child turns one, the mother is taken away and hired out to work on a farm that’s a good distance away, while the child is left in the care of an elderly woman who is too old for fieldwork. I don’t know why this separation happens, except perhaps to prevent the child from forming a bond with the mother and to dull and destroy the mother’s natural affection for her child. This is the unfortunate outcome.

I never saw my mother, to know her as such, more than four or five times in my life; and each of these times was very short in duration, and at night. She was hired by a Mr. Stewart, who lived about twelve miles from my home. She made her journeys to see me in the night, travelling the whole distance on foot, after the performance of her day’s work. She was a field hand, and a whipping is the penalty of not being in the field at sunrise, unless a slave has special permission from his or her master to the contrary—a permission which they seldom get, and one that gives to him that gives it the proud name of being a kind master. I do not recollect of ever seeing my mother by the light of day. She was with me in the night. She would lie down with me, and get me to sleep, but long before I waked she was gone. Very little communication ever took place between us. Death soon ended what little we could have while she lived, and with it her hardships and suffering. She died when I was about seven years old, on one of my master’s farms, near Lee’s Mill. I was not allowed to be present during her illness, at her death, or burial. She was gone long before I knew any thing about it. Never having enjoyed, to any considerable extent, her soothing presence, her tender and watchful care, I received the tidings of her death with much the same emotions I should have probably felt at the death of a stranger.

I only saw my mother, to truly know her, about four or five times in my life; and each of those encounters was brief and happened at night. She worked for a Mr. Stewart, who lived about twelve miles away from my home. She would walk the whole distance to see me at night after finishing her day's work. She was a fieldhand, and if you weren't in the fields by sunrise, the punishment was a whipping unless you had special permission from your master to be late—a permission that was rarely granted, making those who did grant it feel like kind masters. I don’t remember ever seeing my mother during the day. She came to me at night, would lie down with me to help me fall asleep, but she was always gone long before I woke up. We hardly communicated at all. Death soon put an end to what little time we could have together while she was alive, along with her hardships and suffering. She died when I was about seven years old on one of my master’s farms near Lee’s Mill. I wasn’t allowed to be there during her illness, at her death, or during her burial. She was gone before I even knew anything about it. Having rarely enjoyed her comforting presence or her attentive care, I received the news of her death with feelings similar to what I might have felt for a stranger.

Called thus suddenly away, she left me without the slightest intimation of who my father was. The whisper that my master was my father, may or may not be true; and, true or false, it is of but little consequence to my purpose whilst the fact remains, in all its glaring odiousness, that slaveholders have ordained, and by law established, that the children of slave women shall in all cases follow the condition of their mothers; and this is done too obviously to administer to their own lusts, and make a gratification of their wicked desires profitable as well as pleasurable; for by this cunning arrangement, the slaveholder, in cases not a few, sustains to his slaves the double relation of master and father.

Called away so suddenly, she left me without any hint of who my father was. The rumor that my master is my father might be true or not; either way, it doesn’t really matter to my situation as long as the undeniable fact remains that slaveholders have decided, and legally enforced, that the children of enslaved women will always inherit the status of their mothers. This is clearly done to satisfy their own desires and turn a twisted gratification into something that’s both profitable and enjoyable; through this clever setup, the slaveholder, in many cases, has the dual role of both master and father to his slaves.

I know of such cases; and it is worthy of remark that such slaves invariably suffer greater hardships, and have more to contend with, than others. They are, in the first place, a constant offence to their mistress. She is ever disposed to find fault with them; they can seldom do any thing to please her; she is never better pleased than when she sees them under the lash, especially when she suspects her husband of showing to his mulatto children favors which he withholds from his black slaves. The master is frequently compelled to sell this class of his slaves, out of deference to the feelings of his white wife; and, cruel as the deed may strike any one to be, for a man to sell his own children to human flesh-mongers, it is often the dictate of humanity for him to do so; for, unless he does this, he must not only whip them himself, but must stand by and see one white son tie up his brother, of but few shades darker complexion than himself, and ply the gory lash to his naked back; and if he lisp one word of disapproval, it is set down to his parental partiality, and only makes a bad matter worse, both for himself and the slave whom he would protect and defend.

I'm aware of such situations; and it's worth noting that these slaves consistently endure greater hardships and have more challenges than others. For one, they are a constant annoyance to their mistress. She is always looking to criticize them; they can rarely do anything to satisfy her; she is never happier than when she sees them being punished, especially when she suspects her husband of giving preferential treatment to his mixed-race children that he denies to his black slaves. The master often feels pressured to sell this group of his slaves to avoid upsetting his white wife; and, cruel as it may seem for a man to sell his own children to slave traders, sometimes it’s seen as the more humane choice. If he doesn’t do this, he not only has to punish them himself, but he also has to watch his white son tie up his brother, who is only slightly darker in skin tone, and whip him mercilessly. If he speaks out against it, he’s accused of favoritism, which only complicates things further for both him and the slave he wants to protect.

Every year brings with it multitudes of this class of slaves. It was doubtless in consequence of a knowledge of this fact, that one great statesman of the south predicted the downfall of slavery by the inevitable laws of population. Whether this prophecy is ever fulfilled or not, it is nevertheless plain that a very different-looking class of people are springing up at the south, and are now held in slavery, from those originally brought to this country from Africa; and if their increase do no other good, it will do away the force of the argument, that God cursed Ham, and therefore American slavery is right. If the lineal descendants of Ham are alone to be scripturally enslaved, it is certain that slavery at the south must soon become unscriptural; for thousands are ushered into the world, annually, who, like myself, owe their existence to white fathers, and those fathers most frequently their own masters.

Every year, more and more people from this group of slaves are born. It was probably because of this awareness that a prominent southern politician predicted the end of slavery due to the inevitable changes in population. Whether that prediction will ever come true, it’s clear that a very different group of people is emerging in the south who are currently enslaved compared to those originally brought here from Africa. If nothing else, their growth challenges the argument that God cursed Ham, which justifies American slavery. If only Ham’s direct descendants can be enslaved according to scripture, then slavery in the south will soon lose its biblical justification; thousands are born each year, just like me, who owe their existence to white fathers, and often those fathers are their own masters.

I have had two masters. My first master’s name was Anthony. I do not remember his first name. He was generally called Captain Anthony—a title which, I presume, he acquired by sailing a craft on the Chesapeake Bay. He was not considered a rich slaveholder. He owned two or three farms, and about thirty slaves. His farms and slaves were under the care of an overseer. The overseer’s name was Plummer. Mr. Plummer was a miserable drunkard, a profane swearer, and a savage monster. He always went armed with a cowskin and a heavy cudgel. I have known him to cut and slash the women’s heads so horribly, that even master would be enraged at his cruelty, and would threaten to whip him if he did not mind himself. Master, however, was not a humane slaveholder. It required extraordinary barbarity on the part of an overseer to affect him. He was a cruel man, hardened by a long life of slaveholding. He would at times seem to take great pleasure in whipping a slave. I have often been awakened at the dawn of day by the most heart-rending shrieks of an own aunt of mine, whom he used to tie up to a joist, and whip upon her naked back till she was literally covered with blood. No words, no tears, no prayers, from his gory victim, seemed to move his iron heart from its bloody purpose. The louder she screamed, the harder he whipped; and where the blood ran fastest, there he whipped longest. He would whip her to make her scream, and whip her to make her hush; and not until overcome by fatigue, would he cease to swing the blood-clotted cowskin. I remember the first time I ever witnessed this horrible exhibition. I was quite a child, but I well remember it. I never shall forget it whilst I remember any thing. It was the first of a long series of such outrages, of which I was doomed to be a witness and a participant. It struck me with awful force. It was the blood-stained gate, the entrance to the hell of slavery, through which I was about to pass. It was a most terrible spectacle. I wish I could commit to paper the feelings with which I beheld it.

I have had two masters. My first master's name was Anthony. I don’t remember his first name. He was usually called Captain Anthony—a title he probably got from sailing a boat on the Chesapeake Bay. He wasn't considered a wealthy slave owner. He had two or three farms and about thirty slaves. His farms and slaves were managed by an overseer named Plummer. Mr. Plummer was a terrible drunk, a foul-mouthed swearing man, and a brutal monster. He always carried a cowskin and a heavy stick for hitting. I have seen him hit the women so badly that even master would get angry at his cruelty and threaten to whip him if he didn’t control himself. However, master was not a kind slave owner. It took extreme brutality from an overseer to make him react. He was a cruel man, hardened by a long life of owning slaves. Sometimes, he seemed to take pleasure in whipping a slave. I have often woken up at dawn to the heartbreaking screams of my own aunt, who he would tie up to a joist and whip on her bare back until she was literally covered in blood. No words, tears, or prayers from his bloody victim seemed to change his cruel mind. The louder she screamed, the harder he whipped; and where the blood ran fastest, he whipped longest. He would whip her to make her scream and whip her to make her stop; only when he got too tired would he stop swinging the blood-soaked cowskin. I remember the first time I saw this horrible scene. I was just a child, but I remember it well. I will never forget it as long as I remember anything. It was the first of a long series of such outrages that I was forced to witness and be a part of. It hit me with awful power. It was the blood-stained gate, the entrance to the hell of slavery, through which I was about to pass. It was a truly terrible sight. I wish I could put on paper the feelings I had while witnessing it.

This occurrence took place very soon after I went to live with my old master, and under the following circumstances. Aunt Hester went out one night,—where or for what I do not know,—and happened to be absent when my master desired her presence. He had ordered her not to go out evenings, and warned her that she must never let him catch her in company with a young man, who was paying attention to her belonging to Colonel Lloyd. The young man’s name was Ned Roberts, generally called Lloyd’s Ned. Why master was so careful of her, may be safely left to conjecture. She was a woman of noble form, and of graceful proportions, having very few equals, and fewer superiors, in personal appearance, among the colored or white women of our neighborhood.

This incident happened shortly after I started living with my old master, and here’s what went down. Aunt Hester went out one night—where she went or why, I’m not sure—and was gone when my master wanted her to be there. He had told her not to go out at night and made it clear that he never wanted to catch her with a young man who was interested in her and worked for Colonel Lloyd. The young man’s name was Ned Roberts, usually called Lloyd’s Ned. Why my master was so protective of her is anyone's guess. She was a striking woman, with a beautiful figure and graceful shape, having very few equals and even fewer superiors in looks among the Black or white women in our area.

Aunt Hester had not only disobeyed his orders in going out, but had been found in company with Lloyd’s Ned; which circumstance, I found, from what he said while whipping her, was the chief offence. Had he been a man of pure morals himself, he might have been thought interested in protecting the innocence of my aunt; but those who knew him will not suspect him of any such virtue. Before he commenced whipping Aunt Hester, he took her into the kitchen, and stripped her from neck to waist, leaving her neck, shoulders, and back, entirely naked. He then told her to cross her hands, calling her at the same time a d——d b—-h. After crossing her hands, he tied them with a strong rope, and led her to a stool under a large hook in the joist, put in for the purpose. He made her get upon the stool, and tied her hands to the hook. She now stood fair for his infernal purpose. Her arms were stretched up at their full length, so that she stood upon the ends of her toes. He then said to her, “Now, you d——d b—-h, I’ll learn you how to disobey my orders!” and after rolling up his sleeves, he commenced to lay on the heavy cowskin, and soon the warm, red blood (amid heart-rending shrieks from her, and horrid oaths from him) came dripping to the floor. I was so terrified and horror-stricken at the sight, that I hid myself in a closet, and dared not venture out till long after the bloody transaction was over. I expected it would be my turn next. It was all new to me. I had never seen any thing like it before. I had always lived with my grandmother on the outskirts of the plantation, where she was put to raise the children of the younger women. I had therefore been, until now, out of the way of the bloody scenes that often occurred on the plantation.

Aunt Hester didn’t just ignore his orders by going out; she was found with Lloyd's Ned, which, I realized from what he said while whipping her, was the main issue. If he had been a man of good morals, he might have seemed concerned about protecting my aunt's innocence, but anyone who knew him wouldn’t think he had any such virtue. Before he started whipping Aunt Hester, he took her into the kitchen, stripped her from neck to waist, leaving her neck, shoulders, and back completely exposed. He then ordered her to cross her hands, all while calling her a d——d b—-h. After she crossed her hands, he tied them with a strong rope and led her to a stool under a large hook in the joist, which was there for that purpose. He made her climb onto the stool and tied her hands to the hook. She was set up for his cruel intentions. Her arms were stretched up as high as they could go, forcing her to stand on her toes. He then said to her, “Now, you d——d b—-h, I’ll teach you how to disobey my orders!” After rolling up his sleeves, he started to hit her with a heavy cowskin, and soon the warm, red blood (mixed with her heart-wrenching screams and his horrifying curses) started dripping to the floor. I was so scared and horrified by the sight that I hid in a closet, too afraid to come out until long after the brutal act was over. I thought I’d be next. It was all new to me. I had never seen anything like it before. I had always lived with my grandmother on the edge of the plantation, where she was responsible for taking care of the younger women’s children. Because of that, I had been sheltered from the bloody scenes that often played out on the plantation.

CHAPTER II

My master’s family consisted of two sons, Andrew and Richard; one daughter, Lucretia, and her husband, Captain Thomas Auld. They lived in one house, upon the home plantation of Colonel Edward Lloyd. My master was Colonel Lloyd’s clerk and superintendent. He was what might be called the overseer of the overseers. I spent two years of childhood on this plantation in my old master’s family. It was here that I witnessed the bloody transaction recorded in the first chapter; and as I received my first impressions of slavery on this plantation, I will give some description of it, and of slavery as it there existed. The plantation is about twelve miles north of Easton, in Talbot county, and is situated on the border of Miles River. The principal products raised upon it were tobacco, corn, and wheat. These were raised in great abundance; so that, with the products of this and the other farms belonging to him, he was able to keep in almost constant employment a large sloop, in carrying them to market at Baltimore. This sloop was named Sally Lloyd, in honor of one of the colonel’s daughters. My master’s son-in-law, Captain Auld, was master of the vessel; she was otherwise manned by the colonel’s own slaves. Their names were Peter, Isaac, Rich, and Jake. These were esteemed very highly by the other slaves, and looked upon as the privileged ones of the plantation; for it was no small affair, in the eyes of the slaves, to be allowed to see Baltimore.

My master's family included two sons, Andrew and Richard; one daughter, Lucretia, and her husband, Captain Thomas Auld. They all lived together in one house on Colonel Edward Lloyd's home plantation. My master was Colonel Lloyd’s clerk and superintendent, basically the overseer of the overseers. I spent two years of my childhood on this plantation with my old master's family. It was here that I witnessed the horrific events described in the first chapter; and since I experienced my first impressions of slavery on this plantation, I will describe it and the nature of slavery as it existed there. The plantation is located about twelve miles north of Easton in Talbot County, right on the edge of Miles River. The main products grown there were tobacco, corn, and wheat. These were produced in large quantities, allowing him to continuously employ a large sloop to transport them to market in Baltimore. This sloop was named Sally Lloyd, in honor of one of the colonel’s daughters. My master’s son-in-law, Captain Auld, was in charge of the vessel, which was manned by the colonel’s own slaves. Their names were Peter, Isaac, Rich, and Jake. These men were highly regarded by the other slaves and viewed as the privileged ones of the plantation, as it was a big deal for slaves to be allowed to see Baltimore.

Colonel Lloyd kept from three to four hundred slaves on his home plantation, and owned a large number more on the neighboring farms belonging to him. The names of the farms nearest to the home plantation were Wye Town and New Design. “Wye Town” was under the overseership of a man named Noah Willis. New Design was under the overseership of a Mr. Townsend. The overseers of these, and all the rest of the farms, numbering over twenty, received advice and direction from the managers of the home plantation. This was the great business place. It was the seat of government for the whole twenty farms. All disputes among the overseers were settled here. If a slave was convicted of any high misdemeanor, became unmanageable, or evinced a determination to run away, he was brought immediately here, severely whipped, put on board the sloop, carried to Baltimore, and sold to Austin Woolfolk, or some other slave-trader, as a warning to the slaves remaining.

Colonel Lloyd had three to four hundred slaves on his home plantation and owned many more on the nearby farms that he also controlled. The closest farms to the home plantation were Wye Town and New Design. Wye Town was overseen by a man named Noah Willis, while New Design was overseen by Mr. Townsend. The overseers of these farms, along with all the others—more than twenty in total—received guidance and direction from the managers of the home plantation. This was the main business hub and the administrative center for all twenty farms. Any disputes among the overseers were resolved here. If a slave was found guilty of a serious offense, became difficult to manage, or showed a desire to escape, they were brought here, harshly whipped, taken aboard a sloop, shipped to Baltimore, and sold to Austin Woolfolk or another slave trader as a warning to the other slaves.

Here, too, the slaves of all the other farms received their monthly allowance of food, and their yearly clothing. The men and women slaves received, as their monthly allowance of food, eight pounds of pork, or its equivalent in fish, and one bushel of corn meal. Their yearly clothing consisted of two coarse linen shirts, one pair of linen trousers, like the shirts, one jacket, one pair of trousers for winter, made of coarse negro cloth, one pair of stockings, and one pair of shoes; the whole of which could not have cost more than seven dollars. The allowance of the slave children was given to their mothers, or the old women having the care of them. The children unable to work in the field had neither shoes, stockings, jackets, nor trousers, given to them; their clothing consisted of two coarse linen shirts per year. When these failed them, they went naked until the next allowance-day. Children from seven to ten years old, of both sexes, almost naked, might be seen at all seasons of the year.

Here, too, the slaves from all the other farms got their monthly food allowance and yearly clothing. The men and women slaves received eight pounds of pork, or the equivalent in fish, and one bushel of cornmeal as their monthly food allowance. Their yearly clothing included two rough linen shirts, one pair of linen trousers like the shirts, one jacket, one pair of winter trousers made from coarse cloth, one pair of stockings, and one pair of shoes; all of which probably cost no more than seven dollars. The food allowance for the slave children was given to their mothers or the older women who took care of them. Children who couldn’t work in the fields didn’t get shoes, stockings, jackets, or trousers; their clothing consisted of two rough linen shirts each year. When these wore out, they went without clothes until the next allowance day. Children aged seven to ten, regardless of gender, were often seen almost naked year-round.

There were no beds given the slaves, unless one coarse blanket be considered such, and none but the men and women had these. This, however, is not considered a very great privation. They find less difficulty from the want of beds, than from the want of time to sleep; for when their day’s work in the field is done, the most of them having their washing, mending, and cooking to do, and having few or none of the ordinary facilities for doing either of these, very many of their sleeping hours are consumed in preparing for the field the coming day; and when this is done, old and young, male and female, married and single, drop down side by side, on one common bed,—the cold, damp floor,—each covering himself or herself with their miserable blankets; and here they sleep till they are summoned to the field by the driver’s horn. At the sound of this, all must rise, and be off to the field. There must be no halting; every one must be at his or her post; and woe betides them who hear not this morning summons to the field; for if they are not awakened by the sense of hearing, they are by the sense of feeling: no age nor sex finds any favor. Mr. Severe, the overseer, used to stand by the door of the quarter, armed with a large hickory stick and heavy cowskin, ready to whip any one who was so unfortunate as not to hear, or, from any other cause, was prevented from being ready to start for the field at the sound of the horn.

There were no beds provided for the slaves, unless one rough blanket counts as such, and only the men and women had these. However, this isn’t seen as a huge hardship. They struggle less with the lack of beds than with not having enough time to sleep; after their day's work in the fields, most have to wash, sew, and cook, and they have few, if any, regular facilities to do any of these tasks. A lot of their sleeping hours go into preparing for the next day’s work in the fields. Once that’s done, old and young, male and female, married and single, all collapse together on one shared bed—the cold, damp floor—each wrapping themselves in their tattered blankets. They sleep until they're called to the field by the driver’s horn. At that sound, everyone must get up and head to the fields. There's no time to stop; everyone must be at their post. Those who don’t respond to the morning call for the fields are in trouble because if they don’t wake up from hearing it, they’re jolted awake by feeling it: no age or gender is spared. Mr. Severe, the overseer, would stand by the door of the quarters, armed with a large hickory stick and a heavy cowskin, ready to whip anyone who was unfortunate enough not to hear the horn or, for any other reason, wasn’t ready to leave for the fields.

Mr. Severe was rightly named: he was a cruel man. I have seen him whip a woman, causing the blood to run half an hour at the time; and this, too, in the midst of her crying children, pleading for their mother’s release. He seemed to take pleasure in manifesting his fiendish barbarity. Added to his cruelty, he was a profane swearer. It was enough to chill the blood and stiffen the hair of an ordinary man to hear him talk. Scarce a sentence escaped him but that was commenced or concluded by some horrid oath. The field was the place to witness his cruelty and profanity. His presence made it both the field of blood and of blasphemy. From the rising till the going down of the sun, he was cursing, raving, cutting, and slashing among the slaves of the field, in the most frightful manner. His career was short. He died very soon after I went to Colonel Lloyd’s; and he died as he lived, uttering, with his dying groans, bitter curses and horrid oaths. His death was regarded by the slaves as the result of a merciful providence.

Mr. Severe was aptly named: he was a cruel man. I saw him whip a woman, making her bleed for half an hour, all while her crying children begged for their mother’s freedom. He seemed to take pleasure in showing off his brutal nature. On top of his cruelty, he was a foul-mouthed swearer. It was horrifying to hear him speak, enough to make an ordinary person’s blood run cold and hair stand on end. Hardly a sentence left his mouth that didn’t start or end with some terrible curse. The field was where you could really see his cruelty and profanity. His presence turned it into a place of blood and blasphemy. From sunrise to sunset, he was cursing, shouting, cutting, and slashing at the field slaves in the most terrifying ways. His time was short; he died very soon after I arrived at Colonel Lloyd’s, and he died as he lived, with his final groans filled with bitter curses and horrible oaths. The slaves viewed his death as an act of merciful providence.

Mr. Severe’s place was filled by a Mr. Hopkins. He was a very different man. He was less cruel, less profane, and made less noise, than Mr. Severe. His course was characterized by no extraordinary demonstrations of cruelty. He whipped, but seemed to take no pleasure in it. He was called by the slaves a good overseer.

Mr. Severe’s position was taken over by a Mr. Hopkins. He was a very different guy. He was less harsh, less foul-mouthed, and quieter than Mr. Severe. His approach didn’t show any extreme acts of cruelty. He did whip, but it seemed like he didn’t enjoy it. The slaves referred to him as a good overseer.

The home plantation of Colonel Lloyd wore the appearance of a country village. All the mechanical operations for all the farms were performed here. The shoemaking and mending, the blacksmithing, cartwrighting, coopering, weaving, and grain-grinding, were all performed by the slaves on the home plantation. The whole place wore a business-like aspect very unlike the neighboring farms. The number of houses, too, conspired to give it advantage over the neighboring farms. It was called by the slaves the Great House Farm. Few privileges were esteemed higher, by the slaves of the out-farms, than that of being selected to do errands at the Great House Farm. It was associated in their minds with greatness. A representative could not be prouder of his election to a seat in the American Congress, than a slave on one of the out-farms would be of his election to do errands at the Great House Farm. They regarded it as evidence of great confidence reposed in them by their overseers; and it was on this account, as well as a constant desire to be out of the field from under the driver’s lash, that they esteemed it a high privilege, one worth careful living for. He was called the smartest and most trusty fellow, who had this honor conferred upon him the most frequently. The competitors for this office sought as diligently to please their overseers, as the office-seekers in the political parties seek to please and deceive the people. The same traits of character might be seen in Colonel Lloyd’s slaves, as are seen in the slaves of the political parties.

The home plantation of Colonel Lloyd looked like a small country village. All the mechanical tasks for the farms happened here. The slaves on the home plantation handled shoemaking and repairs, blacksmithing, cartwrighting, coopering, weaving, and grinding grain. The whole place had a business-like vibe that set it apart from the surrounding farms. The number of houses also gave it an advantage over the nearby farms. The slaves referred to it as the Great House Farm. Few privileges were valued more by the slaves from the out-farms than being chosen to run errands at the Great House Farm. It was linked to a sense of importance in their minds. A representative couldn't be prouder of being elected to the American Congress than a slave from one of the out-farms would be of being selected for errands at the Great House Farm. They viewed it as a sign of great trust from their overseers, and for this reason, along with a constant wish to escape the harsh work under the driver’s whip, they saw it as a high privilege worth striving for. The person chosen most often for this honor was seen as the smartest and most trustworthy. Competitors for this position worked as hard to please their overseers as political candidates do to impress and mislead voters. The same character traits could be observed in Colonel Lloyd’s slaves as in the slaves of the political parties.

The slaves selected to go to the Great House Farm, for the monthly allowance for themselves and their fellow-slaves, were peculiarly enthusiastic. While on their way, they would make the dense old woods, for miles around, reverberate with their wild songs, revealing at once the highest joy and the deepest sadness. They would compose and sing as they went along, consulting neither time nor tune. The thought that came up, came out—if not in the word, in the sound;—and as frequently in the one as in the other. They would sometimes sing the most pathetic sentiment in the most rapturous tone, and the most rapturous sentiment in the most pathetic tone. Into all of their songs they would manage to weave something of the Great House Farm. Especially would they do this, when leaving home. They would then sing most exultingly the following words:—

The slaves chosen to go to the Great House Farm, for the monthly supply for themselves and their fellow slaves, were particularly enthusiastic. On their way, they would make the thick old woods, for miles around, echo with their lively songs, expressing both immense joy and deep sadness. They would create and sing as they walked, not worrying about time or melody. Whatever thought arose, came out—if not in words, then in sound;—and as often in one as in the other. They would sometimes sing the most heart-wrenching sentiment in the happiest tone, and the happiest sentiment in the most heart-wrenching tone. They would always manage to include something about the Great House Farm in all their songs. They especially did this when leaving home. They would then joyfully sing the following words:—

“I am going away to the Great House Farm!
O, yea! O, yea! O!”

“I’m going to the Great House Farm!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh!”

This they would sing, as a chorus, to words which to many would seem unmeaning jargon, but which, nevertheless, were full of meaning to themselves. I have sometimes thought that the mere hearing of those songs would do more to impress some minds with the horrible character of slavery, than the reading of whole volumes of philosophy on the subject could do.

They would sing this as a chorus, using words that might seem like meaningless jargon to many, but were filled with meaning for them. I've sometimes thought that just hearing those songs would do more to impress some people with the horrific nature of slavery than reading entire volumes of philosophy on the topic.

I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meaning of those rude and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle; so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might see and hear. They told a tale of woe which was then altogether beyond my feeble comprehension; they were tones loud, long, and deep; they breathed the prayer and complaint of souls boiling over with the bitterest anguish. Every tone was a testimony against slavery, and a prayer to God for deliverance from chains. The hearing of those wild notes always depressed my spirit, and filled me with ineffable sadness. I have frequently found myself in tears while hearing them. The mere recurrence to those songs, even now, afflicts me; and while I am writing these lines, an expression of feeling has already found its way down my cheek. To those songs I trace my first glimmering conception of the dehumanizing character of slavery. I can never get rid of that conception. Those songs still follow me, to deepen my hatred of slavery, and quicken my sympathies for my brethren in bonds. If any one wishes to be impressed with the soul-killing effects of slavery, let him go to Colonel Lloyd’s plantation, and, on allowance-day, place himself in the deep pine woods, and there let him, in silence, analyze the sounds that shall pass through the chambers of his soul,—and if he is not thus impressed, it will only be because “there is no flesh in his obdurate heart.”

I didn't understand the deep meaning of those rough and seemingly chaotic songs when I was a slave. I was inside the experience, so I couldn't see or hear it the way those outside could. They told a story of sorrow that I couldn't fully grasp at the time; the sounds were loud, resonant, and intense, overflowing with the prayers and complaints of souls filled with the deepest pain. Each note was a protest against slavery and a plea to God for freedom from chains. Listening to those wild melodies always brought me down and filled me with indescribable sadness. I often found myself in tears while listening. Just thinking about those songs still troubles me, and as I write this, tears are already running down my cheek. To those songs, I owe my first glimmer of understanding about the dehumanizing nature of slavery. I can never shake that understanding. Those songs continue to haunt me, deepening my hatred for slavery and awakening my empathy for my brothers and sisters in bondage. If anyone wants to truly grasp the soul-crushing effects of slavery, they should go to Colonel Lloyd's plantation, stand in the deep pine woods on allowance day, and there quietly reflect on the sounds that will resonate in their soul—if they aren’t moved, it’s only because “there is no flesh in their hardened heart.”

I have often been utterly astonished, since I came to the north, to find persons who could speak of the singing, among slaves, as evidence of their contentment and happiness. It is impossible to conceive of a greater mistake. Slaves sing most when they are most unhappy. The songs of the slave represent the sorrows of his heart; and he is relieved by them, only as an aching heart is relieved by its tears. At least, such is my experience. I have often sung to drown my sorrow, but seldom to express my happiness. Crying for joy, and singing for joy, were alike uncommon to me while in the jaws of slavery. The singing of a man cast away upon a desolate island might be as appropriately considered as evidence of contentment and happiness, as the singing of a slave; the songs of the one and of the other are prompted by the same emotion.

I have often been completely shocked, since I came to the north, to hear people talk about the singing among slaves as proof of their contentment and happiness. It's hard to imagine a bigger misunderstanding. Slaves sing the most when they are the unhappiest. The songs of a slave reflect the pain in their heart; they find relief in them, just like a hurting heart finds relief in tears. At least, that's my experience. I have often sung to drown out my sorrow, but rarely to express my happiness. Crying for joy and singing for joy were both pretty rare for me while I was in the depths of slavery. The singing of a man stranded on a deserted island could just as easily be seen as proof of contentment and happiness, just like the singing of a slave; the songs from both come from the same deep emotion.

CHAPTER III

Colonel Lloyd kept a large and finely cultivated garden, which afforded almost constant employment for four men, besides the chief gardener, (Mr. M’Durmond.) This garden was probably the greatest attraction of the place. During the summer months, people came from far and near—from Baltimore, Easton, and Annapolis—to see it. It abounded in fruits of almost every description, from the hardy apple of the north to the delicate orange of the south. This garden was not the least source of trouble on the plantation. Its excellent fruit was quite a temptation to the hungry swarms of boys, as well as the older slaves, belonging to the colonel, few of whom had the virtue or the vice to resist it. Scarcely a day passed, during the summer, but that some slave had to take the lash for stealing fruit. The colonel had to resort to all kinds of stratagems to keep his slaves out of the garden. The last and most successful one was that of tarring his fence all around; after which, if a slave was caught with any tar upon his person, it was deemed sufficient proof that he had either been into the garden, or had tried to get in. In either case, he was severely whipped by the chief gardener. This plan worked well; the slaves became as fearful of tar as of the lash. They seemed to realize the impossibility of touching tar without being defiled.

Colonel Lloyd maintained a large and well-kept garden that kept four men busy full-time, in addition to the head gardener, Mr. M’Durmond. This garden was likely the biggest attraction in the area. During the summer, people traveled from far and wide—from Baltimore, Easton, and Annapolis—to see it. It was filled with fruits of nearly every kind, ranging from the hardy northern apple to the delicate southern orange. However, the garden was also a significant source of trouble on the plantation. Its delicious fruit proved to be a big temptation for the hungry boys and older slaves who belonged to the colonel, few of whom had the self-control to resist. Almost every day in the summer, a slave would face punishment for stealing fruit. The colonel employed various tactics to keep his slaves out of the garden. His final and most effective strategy was to tar the entire fence; after that, if a slave was caught with any tar on them, it was seen as clear evidence that they had either entered the garden or attempted to do so. In either case, they faced severe whipping from the head gardener. This tactic was successful; the slaves grew just as afraid of tar as they were of the whip. They seemed to understand that it was impossible to touch tar without getting marked.

The colonel also kept a splendid riding equipage. His stable and carriage-house presented the appearance of some of our large city livery establishments. His horses were of the finest form and noblest blood. His carriage-house contained three splendid coaches, three or four gigs, besides dearborns and barouches of the most fashionable style.

The colonel also owned an impressive set of riding gear. His stable and carriage house looked like some of our big city livery shops. His horses were of the best breed and finest form. His carriage house had three beautiful coaches, three or four gigs, as well as dearborns and barouches in the latest fashion.

This establishment was under the care of two slaves—old Barney and young Barney—father and son. To attend to this establishment was their sole work. But it was by no means an easy employment; for in nothing was Colonel Lloyd more particular than in the management of his horses. The slightest inattention to these was unpardonable, and was visited upon those, under whose care they were placed, with the severest punishment; no excuse could shield them, if the colonel only suspected any want of attention to his horses—a supposition which he frequently indulged, and one which, of course, made the office of old and young Barney a very trying one. They never knew when they were safe from punishment. They were frequently whipped when least deserving, and escaped whipping when most deserving it. Every thing depended upon the looks of the horses, and the state of Colonel Lloyd’s own mind when his horses were brought to him for use. If a horse did not move fast enough, or hold his head high enough, it was owing to some fault of his keepers. It was painful to stand near the stable-door, and hear the various complaints against the keepers when a horse was taken out for use. “This horse has not had proper attention. He has not been sufficiently rubbed and curried, or he has not been properly fed; his food was too wet or too dry; he got it too soon or too late; he was too hot or too cold; he had too much hay, and not enough of grain; or he had too much grain, and not enough of hay; instead of old Barney’s attending to the horse, he had very improperly left it to his son.” To all these complaints, no matter how unjust, the slave must answer never a word. Colonel Lloyd could not brook any contradiction from a slave. When he spoke, a slave must stand, listen, and tremble; and such was literally the case. I have seen Colonel Lloyd make old Barney, a man between fifty and sixty years of age, uncover his bald head, kneel down upon the cold, damp ground, and receive upon his naked and toil-worn shoulders more than thirty lashes at the time. Colonel Lloyd had three sons—Edward, Murray, and Daniel,—and three sons-in-law, Mr. Winder, Mr. Nicholson, and Mr. Lowndes. All of these lived at the Great House Farm, and enjoyed the luxury of whipping the servants when they pleased, from old Barney down to William Wilkes, the coach-driver. I have seen Winder make one of the house-servants stand off from him a suitable distance to be touched with the end of his whip, and at every stroke raise great ridges upon his back.

This place was run by two slaves—old Barney and young Barney—father and son. Taking care of this place was their only job. But it wasn’t an easy one; Colonel Lloyd was very particular about how his horses were managed. Even the smallest oversight was unforgivable, and the person responsible faced severe punishment. No excuse could protect them if the colonel suspected any lack of attention to his horses—a suspicion he often had, making the jobs of old and young Barney very challenging. They never knew when they were at risk of punishment. They frequently got whipped when they least deserved it and dodged punishment when they most deserved it. Everything relied on how the horses looked and Colonel Lloyd’s mood when the horses were brought to him for use. If a horse didn’t move quickly enough or hold its head high enough, it was blamed on the keepers’ mistakes. It was painful to stand near the stable door and hear all the complaints against the keepers when a horse was taken out. “This horse hasn’t been properly cared for. He hasn’t been rubbed and curried enough, or he hasn’t been fed right; his food was either too wet or too dry; he got it too early or too late; he was too hot or too cold; he had too much hay and not enough grain, or too much grain and not enough hay; instead of old Barney taking care of the horse, he wrongly left it to his son.” To all these complaints, no matter how unfair, the slaves had to remain silent. Colonel Lloyd wouldn’t tolerate any disagreement from a slave. When he spoke, a slave had to stand, listen, and tremble; and that was literally true. I’ve seen Colonel Lloyd make old Barney, a man between fifty and sixty, uncover his bald head, kneel on the cold, damp ground, and receive more than thirty lashes on his bare, worn shoulders. Colonel Lloyd had three sons—Edward, Murray, and Daniel—and three sons-in-law, Mr. Winder, Mr. Nicholson, and Mr. Lowndes. All of them lived at the Great House Farm and enjoyed the privilege of whipping the servants whenever they wanted, from old Barney down to William Wilkes, the coach-driver. I’ve seen Winder make one of the house-servants stand a good distance away just to be hit with the end of his whip, and with each blow, it raised painful welts on the servant’s back.

To describe the wealth of Colonel Lloyd would be almost equal to describing the riches of Job. He kept from ten to fifteen house-servants. He was said to own a thousand slaves, and I think this estimate quite within the truth. Colonel Lloyd owned so many that he did not know them when he saw them; nor did all the slaves of the out-farms know him. It is reported of him, that, while riding along the road one day, he met a colored man, and addressed him in the usual manner of speaking to colored people on the public highways of the south: “Well, boy, whom do you belong to?” “To Colonel Lloyd,” replied the slave. “Well, does the colonel treat you well?” “No, sir,” was the ready reply. “What, does he work you too hard?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, don’t he give you enough to eat?” “Yes, sir, he gives me enough, such as it is.”

Describing Colonel Lloyd's wealth would be almost like describing Job's riches. He had between ten and fifteen house servants. It's said he owned about a thousand slaves, and I believe that's a fair estimate. Colonel Lloyd had so many that he didn't know them when he saw them, and not all the slaves from the out-farms recognized him either. One day, it's said that while he was riding along the road, he came across a Black man and spoke to him in the typical way people in the South addressed Black individuals on public roads: “Well, boy, who do you belong to?” “To Colonel Lloyd,” replied the slave. “Well, does the colonel treat you well?” “No, sir,” was the quick response. “What, does he work you too hard?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, doesn't he give you enough to eat?” “Yes, sir, he gives me enough, as far as it goes.”

The colonel, after ascertaining where the slave belonged, rode on; the man also went on about his business, not dreaming that he had been conversing with his master. He thought, said, and heard nothing more of the matter, until two or three weeks afterwards. The poor man was then informed by his overseer that, for having found fault with his master, he was now to be sold to a Georgia trader. He was immediately chained and handcuffed; and thus, without a moment’s warning, he was snatched away, and forever sundered, from his family and friends, by a hand more unrelenting than death. This is the penalty of telling the truth, of telling the simple truth, in answer to a series of plain questions.

The colonel, after figuring out where the slave was from, continued on his way; the man also went about his day, completely unaware that he had just been talking to his master. He didn't think about it, say anything, or hear anything more until two or three weeks later. The poor man was then told by his overseer that, because he had criticized his master, he was now going to be sold to a trader in Georgia. He was immediately put in chains and handcuffs; and just like that, without any warning, he was forcibly taken away, permanently separated from his family and friends, by a hand harsher than death. This is the consequence of speaking the truth, of simply speaking the truth, in response to a series of straightforward questions.

It is partly in consequence of such facts, that slaves, when inquired of as to their condition and the character of their masters, almost universally say they are contented, and that their masters are kind. The slaveholders have been known to send in spies among their slaves, to ascertain their views and feelings in regard to their condition. The frequency of this has had the effect to establish among the slaves the maxim, that a still tongue makes a wise head. They suppress the truth rather than take the consequences of telling it, and in so doing prove themselves a part of the human family. If they have any thing to say of their masters, it is generally in their masters’ favor, especially when speaking to an untried man. I have been frequently asked, when a slave, if I had a kind master, and do not remember ever to have given a negative answer; nor did I, in pursuing this course, consider myself as uttering what was absolutely false; for I always measured the kindness of my master by the standard of kindness set up among slaveholders around us. Moreover, slaves are like other people, and imbibe prejudices quite common to others. They think their own better than that of others. Many, under the influence of this prejudice, think their own masters are better than the masters of other slaves; and this, too, in some cases, when the very reverse is true. Indeed, it is not uncommon for slaves even to fall out and quarrel among themselves about the relative goodness of their masters, each contending for the superior goodness of his own over that of the others. At the very same time, they mutually execrate their masters when viewed separately. It was so on our plantation. When Colonel Lloyd’s slaves met the slaves of Jacob Jepson, they seldom parted without a quarrel about their masters; Colonel Lloyd’s slaves contending that he was the richest, and Mr. Jepson’s slaves that he was the smartest, and most of a man. Colonel Lloyd’s slaves would boast his ability to buy and sell Jacob Jepson. Mr. Jepson’s slaves would boast his ability to whip Colonel Lloyd. These quarrels would almost always end in a fight between the parties, and those that whipped were supposed to have gained the point at issue. They seemed to think that the greatness of their masters was transferable to themselves. It was considered as being bad enough to be a slave; but to be a poor man’s slave was deemed a disgrace indeed!

It’s partly because of these facts that slaves, when asked about their situation and their masters, almost always say they are happy and that their masters are kind. Slave owners have been known to send spies among their slaves to find out what they really think and feel about their conditions. This has led to the saying among slaves that a quiet tongue is a wise head. They hold back the truth rather than face the consequences of telling it, proving themselves to be part of the human family. If they have anything to say about their masters, it’s usually positive, especially when talking to someone they don’t know well. When I was a slave, I was often asked if I had a kind master, and I don’t remember ever saying no; I didn’t think I was being completely dishonest either, because I measured my master’s kindness by the standards set by the other slaveholders around us. Also, slaves are just like other people and hold common biases. They often think their own situation is better than others'. Many, influenced by this bias, believe their masters are better than the masters of other slaves, even when that’s not the case. In fact, it's not unusual for slaves to argue and fight among themselves over who has the better master, each claiming theirs is superior. At the same time, they all criticize their masters when considered individually. This was true on our plantation. When Colonel Lloyd’s slaves met the slaves of Jacob Jepson, they hardly ever parted ways without arguing about their masters. Colonel Lloyd’s slaves argued that he was the richest, while Mr. Jepson’s slaves claimed he was the smartest and more of a man. Colonel Lloyd’s slaves would brag about his ability to buy and sell Jacob Jepson, while Mr. Jepson’s slaves would boast about his ability to whip Colonel Lloyd. These arguments almost always ended in fights between the two groups, and those who won were thought to have proven their point. They seemed to believe that their masters’ greatness transferred to them. Being a slave was already hard enough, but being a slave to a poor man was considered a real disgrace!

CHAPTER IV

Mr. Hopkins remained but a short time in the office of overseer. Why his career was so short, I do not know, but suppose he lacked the necessary severity to suit Colonel Lloyd. Mr. Hopkins was succeeded by Mr. Austin Gore, a man possessing, in an eminent degree, all those traits of character indispensable to what is called a first-rate overseer. Mr. Gore had served Colonel Lloyd, in the capacity of overseer, upon one of the out-farms, and had shown himself worthy of the high station of overseer upon the home or Great House Farm.

Mr. Hopkins spent only a brief time as the overseer. I’m not sure why his time was so short, but I think he didn’t have the toughness that Colonel Lloyd expected. Mr. Hopkins was replaced by Mr. Austin Gore, a man who had all the qualities needed to be a top-notch overseer. Mr. Gore had previously worked for Colonel Lloyd as the overseer on one of the out-farms and had proven himself to be deserving of the important role of overseer on the home or Great House Farm.

Mr. Gore was proud, ambitious, and persevering. He was artful, cruel, and obdurate. He was just the man for such a place, and it was just the place for such a man. It afforded scope for the full exercise of all his powers, and he seemed to be perfectly at home in it. He was one of those who could torture the slightest look, word, or gesture, on the part of the slave, into impudence, and would treat it accordingly. There must be no answering back to him; no explanation was allowed a slave, showing himself to have been wrongfully accused. Mr. Gore acted fully up to the maxim laid down by slaveholders,—“It is better that a dozen slaves should suffer under the lash, than that the overseer should be convicted, in the presence of the slaves, of having been at fault.” No matter how innocent a slave might be—it availed him nothing, when accused by Mr. Gore of any misdemeanor. To be accused was to be convicted, and to be convicted was to be punished; the one always following the other with immutable certainty. To escape punishment was to escape accusation; and few slaves had the fortune to do either, under the overseership of Mr. Gore. He was just proud enough to demand the most debasing homage of the slave, and quite servile enough to crouch, himself, at the feet of the master. He was ambitious enough to be contented with nothing short of the highest rank of overseers, and persevering enough to reach the height of his ambition. He was cruel enough to inflict the severest punishment, artful enough to descend to the lowest trickery, and obdurate enough to be insensible to the voice of a reproving conscience. He was, of all the overseers, the most dreaded by the slaves. His presence was painful; his eye flashed confusion; and seldom was his sharp, shrill voice heard, without producing horror and trembling in their ranks.

Mr. Gore was proud, ambitious, and determined. He was cunning, cruel, and unyielding. He was exactly the right person for that position, and it was the right place for him. It provided the perfect opportunity for him to use all of his skills, and he seemed completely at ease in it. He was the type of person who could twist the tiniest look, word, or gesture from a slave into an act of defiance and would handle it accordingly. There could be no backtalk to him; a slave was not allowed to explain himself if accused unfairly. Mr. Gore strictly followed the principle upheld by slave owners: “It’s better for a dozen slaves to be punished than for the overseer to be proven wrong in front of them.” No matter how innocent a slave might be, it meant nothing when Mr. Gore accused him of any wrongdoing. To be accused was to be found guilty, and to be found guilty meant punishment; one always followed the other with unchanging certainty. To avoid punishment was to avoid accusation, and few slaves were fortunate enough to achieve either under Mr. Gore’s supervision. He was just proud enough to demand the most degrading submission from the slaves, and quite submissive enough to bow down at the feet of his master. He was ambitious enough to be satisfied with nothing less than the highest position among overseers and tenacious enough to achieve his goals. He was cruel enough to administer the harshest punishments, clever enough to resort to the lowest of tricks, and stubborn enough to ignore the voice of a guilty conscience. Of all the overseers, he was the most feared by the slaves. His presence was distressing; his gaze instilled confusion; and it was rare for his sharp, loud voice to be heard without causing horror and trembling among them.

Mr. Gore was a grave man, and, though a young man, he indulged in no jokes, said no funny words, seldom smiled. His words were in perfect keeping with his looks, and his looks were in perfect keeping with his words. Overseers will sometimes indulge in a witty word, even with the slaves; not so with Mr. Gore. He spoke but to command, and commanded but to be obeyed; he dealt sparingly with his words, and bountifully with his whip, never using the former where the latter would answer as well. When he whipped, he seemed to do so from a sense of duty, and feared no consequences. He did nothing reluctantly, no matter how disagreeable; always at his post, never inconsistent. He never promised but to fulfil. He was, in a word, a man of the most inflexible firmness and stone-like coolness.

Mr. Gore was a serious man, and even though he was young, he rarely joked, said anything funny, or smiled. His words matched his serious demeanor perfectly, and his appearance reflected his straightforward communication. Overseers might occasionally share a witty remark, even with the slaves; not Mr. Gore. He spoke only to give orders and expected those orders to be followed; he used his words wisely and was quick to use his whip, rarely relying on the former when the latter would suffice. When he whipped someone, it seemed like it was just part of his job, and he showed no fear of the consequences. He never did anything half-heartedly, no matter how unpleasant; he was always present and consistent. He never made a promise he didn’t intend to keep. In short, he was a man of unyielding determination and cold composure.

His savage barbarity was equalled only by the consummate coolness with which he committed the grossest and most savage deeds upon the slaves under his charge. Mr. Gore once undertook to whip one of Colonel Lloyd’s slaves, by the name of Demby. He had given Demby but few stripes, when, to get rid of the scourging, he ran and plunged himself into a creek, and stood there at the depth of his shoulders, refusing to come out. Mr. Gore told him that he would give him three calls, and that, if he did not come out at the third call, he would shoot him. The first call was given. Demby made no response, but stood his ground. The second and third calls were given with the same result. Mr. Gore then, without consultation or deliberation with any one, not even giving Demby an additional call, raised his musket to his face, taking deadly aim at his standing victim, and in an instant poor Demby was no more. His mangled body sank out of sight, and blood and brains marked the water where he had stood.

His brutal violence was matched only by the calm manner in which he committed the most terrible acts against the slaves under his control. Mr. Gore once decided to whip one of Colonel Lloyd’s slaves, a man named Demby. He had given Demby only a few lashes when Demby, desperate to escape the beating, ran and jumped into a creek, standing there with the water up to his shoulders, refusing to come out. Mr. Gore warned him that he would call him three times, and that if he didn’t come out by the third call, he would shoot him. The first call was made. Demby didn’t respond but stood firm. The second and third calls were made with the same result. Mr. Gore then, without discussing it with anyone, not even giving Demby another chance to respond, raised his musket to his shoulder, aimed directly at his standing target, and in an instant, poor Demby was dead. His mangled body sank below the surface, and blood and brains stained the water where he had stood.

A thrill of horror flashed through every soul upon the plantation, excepting Mr. Gore. He alone seemed cool and collected. He was asked by Colonel Lloyd and my old master, why he resorted to this extraordinary expedient. His reply was, (as well as I can remember,) that Demby had become unmanageable. He was setting a dangerous example to the other slaves,—one which, if suffered to pass without some such demonstration on his part, would finally lead to the total subversion of all rule and order upon the plantation. He argued that if one slave refused to be corrected, and escaped with his life, the other slaves would soon copy the example; the result of which would be, the freedom of the slaves, and the enslavement of the whites. Mr. Gore’s defence was satisfactory. He was continued in his station as overseer upon the home plantation. His fame as an overseer went abroad. His horrid crime was not even submitted to judicial investigation. It was committed in the presence of slaves, and they of course could neither institute a suit, nor testify against him; and thus the guilty perpetrator of one of the bloodiest and most foul murders goes unwhipped of justice, and uncensured by the community in which he lives. Mr. Gore lived in St. Michael’s, Talbot county, Maryland, when I left there; and if he is still alive, he very probably lives there now; and if so, he is now, as he was then, as highly esteemed and as much respected as though his guilty soul had not been stained with his brother’s blood.

A wave of horror swept through everyone on the plantation, except Mr. Gore. He was the only one who appeared calm and composed. Colonel Lloyd and my former master asked him why he resorted to such an extreme measure. His response was, as well as I can recall, that Demby had become uncontrollable. He was setting a dangerous precedent for the other slaves—one that, if allowed to go unpunished, would eventually undermine all authority and order on the plantation. He argued that if one slave refused to be corrected and escaped with his life, the others would soon follow his example; the outcome would be the freedom of the slaves and the subjugation of the whites. Mr. Gore's defense was deemed adequate. He retained his position as overseer on the home plantation. His reputation as an overseer spread beyond the plantation. His horrific crime wasn’t even subject to legal review. It occurred in front of slaves who, of course, could neither file a lawsuit nor testify against him; thus, the culprit of one of the most brutal and heinous murders was free from justice and uncriticized by the community around him. Mr. Gore lived in St. Michael’s, Talbot County, Maryland, when I left; if he is still alive, he likely resides there now, and if so, he is still regarded with as much esteem and respect as if his guilty soul hadn’t been tainted by his brother’s blood.

I speak advisedly when I say this,—that killing a slave, or any colored person, in Talbot county, Maryland, is not treated as a crime, either by the courts or the community. Mr. Thomas Lanman, of St. Michael’s, killed two slaves, one of whom he killed with a hatchet, by knocking his brains out. He used to boast of the commission of the awful and bloody deed. I have heard him do so laughingly, saying, among other things, that he was the only benefactor of his country in the company, and that when others would do as much as he had done, we should be relieved of “the d——d niggers.”

I say this carefully—killing a slave or any person of color in Talbot County, Maryland, isn't seen as a crime by either the courts or the community. Mr. Thomas Lanman from St. Michael’s killed two slaves, one with a hatchet, crushing his skull. He used to brag about this terrible and bloody act. I've heard him laugh about it, saying among other things that he was the only person doing a service for his country in that group, and that once others did as much as he had, we'd be rid of "the damned niggers."

The wife of Mr. Giles Hicks, living but a short distance from where I used to live, murdered my wife’s cousin, a young girl between fifteen and sixteen years of age, mangling her person in the most horrible manner, breaking her nose and breastbone with a stick, so that the poor girl expired in a few hours afterward. She was immediately buried, but had not been in her untimely grave but a few hours before she was taken up and examined by the coroner, who decided that she had come to her death by severe beating. The offence for which this girl was thus murdered was this:—She had been set that night to mind Mrs. Hicks’s baby, and during the night she fell asleep, and the baby cried. She, having lost her rest for several nights previous, did not hear the crying. They were both in the room with Mrs. Hicks. Mrs. Hicks, finding the girl slow to move, jumped from her bed, seized an oak stick of wood by the fireplace, and with it broke the girl’s nose and breastbone, and thus ended her life. I will not say that this most horrid murder produced no sensation in the community. It did produce sensation, but not enough to bring the murderess to punishment. There was a warrant issued for her arrest, but it was never served. Thus she escaped not only punishment, but even the pain of being arraigned before a court for her horrid crime.

The wife of Mr. Giles Hicks, who lived not far from where I used to live, killed my wife’s cousin, a young girl between fifteen and sixteen years old, in a gruesome way, breaking her nose and breastbone with a stick, causing the poor girl to die within a few hours. She was buried right away, but only a few hours later, she was exhumed and examined by the coroner, who ruled her death was due to severe beating. The reason this girl was murdered was that she had been asked to watch Mrs. Hicks’s baby that night, and during the night, she fell asleep while the baby cried. She, having not slept well for several nights before, didn’t hear the crying. They were both in the room with Mrs. Hicks. When Mrs. Hicks noticed the girl was slow to react, she jumped out of bed, grabbed an oak stick by the fireplace, and used it to break the girl’s nose and breastbone, ending her life. I won’t say that this horrific murder didn’t cause a stir in the community. It did create a sensation, but not enough to bring the murderer to justice. A warrant was issued for her arrest, but it was never executed. Thus, she escaped not only punishment but also the distress of facing a court for her awful crime.

Whilst I am detailing bloody deeds which took place during my stay on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation, I will briefly narrate another, which occurred about the same time as the murder of Demby by Mr. Gore.

While I'm describing the violent events that happened during my time on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation, I will briefly share another incident that took place around the same time as Mr. Gore's murder of Demby.

Colonel Lloyd’s slaves were in the habit of spending a part of their nights and Sundays in fishing for oysters, and in this way made up the deficiency of their scanty allowance. An old man belonging to Colonel Lloyd, while thus engaged, happened to get beyond the limits of Colonel Lloyd’s, and on the premises of Mr. Beal Bondly. At this trespass, Mr. Bondly took offence, and with his musket came down to the shore, and blew its deadly contents into the poor old man.

Colonel Lloyd's slaves often spent part of their nights and Sundays fishing for oysters to make up for their meager rations. One night, an old man who belonged to Colonel Lloyd wandered beyond his property and ended up on the land of Mr. Beal Bondly. Mr. Bondly took issue with this trespassing and came down to the shore with his musket, shooting the poor old man.

Mr. Bondly came over to see Colonel Lloyd the next day, whether to pay him for his property, or to justify himself in what he had done, I know not. At any rate, this whole fiendish transaction was soon hushed up. There was very little said about it at all, and nothing done. It was a common saying, even among little white boys, that it was worth a half-cent to kill a “nigger,” and a half-cent to bury one.

Mr. Bondly came over to see Colonel Lloyd the next day, whether to pay him for his property or to explain his actions, I don’t know. In any case, this whole terrible situation was quickly silenced. There was barely any discussion about it at all, and nothing was done. It was a common saying, even among young white boys, that it was worth half a cent to kill a “nigger” and half a cent to bury one.

CHAPTER V

As to my own treatment while I lived on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation, it was very similar to that of the other slave children. I was not old enough to work in the field, and there being little else than field work to do, I had a great deal of leisure time. The most I had to do was to drive up the cows at evening, keep the fowls out of the garden, keep the front yard clean, and run of errands for my old master’s daughter, Mrs. Lucretia Auld. The most of my leisure time I spent in helping Master Daniel Lloyd in finding his birds, after he had shot them. My connection with Master Daniel was of some advantage to me. He became quite attached to me, and was a sort of protector of me. He would not allow the older boys to impose upon me, and would divide his cakes with me.

During my time on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation, my treatment was pretty much like that of the other slave kids. I was too young to work in the fields, and since there wasn't much to do besides fieldwork, I had a lot of free time. My main tasks were to round up the cows in the evening, keep the chickens out of the garden, keep the front yard tidy, and run errands for my master’s daughter, Mrs. Lucretia Auld. Most of my free time was spent helping Master Daniel Lloyd find the birds he shot. Having a connection with Master Daniel was somewhat beneficial for me. He became quite fond of me and acted as a sort of protector. He wouldn’t let the older boys take advantage of me, and he would share his snacks with me.

I was seldom whipped by my old master, and suffered little from any thing else than hunger and cold. I suffered much from hunger, but much more from cold. In hottest summer and coldest winter, I was kept almost naked—no shoes, no stockings, no jacket, no trousers, nothing on but a coarse tow linen shirt, reaching only to my knees. I had no bed. I must have perished with cold, but that, the coldest nights, I used to steal a bag which was used for carrying corn to the mill. I would crawl into this bag, and there sleep on the cold, damp, clay floor, with my head in and feet out. My feet have been so cracked with the frost, that the pen with which I am writing might be laid in the gashes.

I was rarely whipped by my old master, and I suffered mostly from hunger and cold. I endured a lot of hunger, but even more from the cold. In both the hottest summers and the coldest winters, I was kept nearly naked—no shoes, no socks, no jacket, no pants, just a rough linen shirt that barely reached my knees. I had no bed. I would have frozen to death if it weren't for the times when, on the coldest nights, I stole a bag used for carrying corn to the mill. I would crawl into this bag and sleep on the cold, damp clay floor, with my head inside and my feet sticking out. My feet have been so cracked from the frost that the pen I'm using to write could fit in the gashes.

We were not regularly allowanced. Our food was coarse corn meal boiled. This was called mush. It was put into a large wooden tray or trough, and set down upon the ground. The children were then called, like so many pigs, and like so many pigs they would come and devour the mush; some with oyster-shells, others with pieces of shingle, some with naked hands, and none with spoons. He that ate fastest got most; he that was strongest secured the best place; and few left the trough satisfied.

We didn’t get regular allowances. Our food was rough cornmeal boiled, and it was called mush. It was poured into a large wooden tray or trough and placed on the ground. The kids were then called over, like a bunch of pigs, and just like pigs, they came to gobble up the mush; some used oyster shells, others used pieces of shingle, some used their bare hands, and none used spoons. The one who ate the fastest got the most; the strongest secured the best spot; and few left the trough feeling satisfied.

I was probably between seven and eight years old when I left Colonel Lloyd’s plantation. I left it with joy. I shall never forget the ecstasy with which I received the intelligence that my old master (Anthony) had determined to let me go to Baltimore, to live with Mr. Hugh Auld, brother to my old master’s son-in-law, Captain Thomas Auld. I received this information about three days before my departure. They were three of the happiest days I ever enjoyed. I spent the most part of all these three days in the creek, washing off the plantation scurf, and preparing myself for my departure.

I was probably between seven and eight years old when I left Colonel Lloyd’s plantation. I left it feeling really happy. I will never forget the excitement I felt when I learned that my old master (Anthony) had decided to let me go to Baltimore to live with Mr. Hugh Auld, the brother of my old master’s son-in-law, Captain Thomas Auld. I got this news about three days before I left. They were three of the happiest days I ever had. I spent most of that time in the creek, washing off the plantation dirt and getting ready for my departure.

The pride of appearance which this would indicate was not my own. I spent the time in washing, not so much because I wished to, but because Mrs. Lucretia had told me I must get all the dead skin off my feet and knees before I could go to Baltimore; for the people in Baltimore were very cleanly, and would laugh at me if I looked dirty. Besides, she was going to give me a pair of trousers, which I should not put on unless I got all the dirt off me. The thought of owning a pair of trousers was great indeed! It was almost a sufficient motive, not only to make me take off what would be called by pig-drovers the mange, but the skin itself. I went at it in good earnest, working for the first time with the hope of reward.

The pride in my appearance wasn’t really mine. I spent the time washing, not so much because I wanted to, but because Mrs. Lucretia told me I had to get all the dead skin off my feet and knees before I could go to Baltimore; people there were very particular about cleanliness and would laugh at me if I looked dirty. Plus, she was going to give me a pair of trousers, which I couldn’t wear until I was completely clean. The thought of owning a pair of trousers was really exciting! It was enough motivation for me to scrub off not just what pig-drovers would call mange, but the skin itself. I dove into it with real determination for the first time, working hard with the hope of a reward.

The ties that ordinarily bind children to their homes were all suspended in my case. I found no severe trial in my departure. My home was charmless; it was not home to me; on parting from it, I could not feel that I was leaving any thing which I could have enjoyed by staying. My mother was dead, my grandmother lived far off, so that I seldom saw her. I had two sisters and one brother, that lived in the same house with me; but the early separation of us from our mother had well nigh blotted the fact of our relationship from our memories. I looked for home elsewhere, and was confident of finding none which I should relish less than the one which I was leaving. If, however, I found in my new home hardship, hunger, whipping, and nakedness, I had the consolation that I should not have escaped any one of them by staying. Having already had more than a taste of them in the house of my old master, and having endured them there, I very naturally inferred my ability to endure them elsewhere, and especially at Baltimore; for I had something of the feeling about Baltimore that is expressed in the proverb, that “being hanged in England is preferable to dying a natural death in Ireland.” I had the strongest desire to see Baltimore. Cousin Tom, though not fluent in speech, had inspired me with that desire by his eloquent description of the place. I could never point out any thing at the Great House, no matter how beautiful or powerful, but that he had seen something at Baltimore far exceeding, both in beauty and strength, the object which I pointed out to him. Even the Great House itself, with all its pictures, was far inferior to many buildings in Baltimore. So strong was my desire, that I thought a gratification of it would fully compensate for whatever loss of comforts I should sustain by the exchange. I left without a regret, and with the highest hopes of future happiness.

The usual ties that connect children to their homes didn’t apply to me. I didn’t feel any significant sadness about leaving. My home was uninviting; it didn’t feel like home to me; as I left, I didn’t feel like I was giving up anything I would miss. My mother was dead, and my grandmother lived far away, so I rarely saw her. I had two sisters and a brother who lived in the same house as me, but the early separation from our mother had nearly erased our sense of family from our memories. I looked for a new home elsewhere and was sure I wouldn’t find one I would enjoy less than the one I was leaving. If I encountered hardship, hunger, punishment, and poverty in my new home, I took comfort in knowing I wouldn’t have avoided any of that by staying. I had already experienced plenty of it at my old master’s house and managed to endure it, so I figured I could handle it elsewhere, especially in Baltimore; I felt a bit like the saying, “being hanged in England is better than dying a natural death in Ireland.” I really wanted to see Baltimore. Cousin Tom, though not very talkative, had sparked that desire with his vivid descriptions of the place. I could never point out anything impressive at the Great House that he hadn’t claimed to have seen something in Baltimore that was even more beautiful and powerful. Even the Great House itself, with all its artwork, couldn’t compare to many buildings in Baltimore. My desire was so strong that I believed satisfying it would completely make up for any comforts I would lose by leaving. I left without regret, filled with hope for a happier future.

We sailed out of Miles River for Baltimore on a Saturday morning. I remember only the day of the week, for at that time I had no knowledge of the days of the month, nor the months of the year. On setting sail, I walked aft, and gave to Colonel Lloyd’s plantation what I hoped would be the last look. I then placed myself in the bows of the sloop, and there spent the remainder of the day in looking ahead, interesting myself in what was in the distance rather than in things near by or behind.

We set out from Miles River to Baltimore on a Saturday morning. The only thing I remember is the day of the week because, at that time, I had no idea about the days of the month or the months of the year. Once we set sail, I walked to the back of the boat and gave Colonel Lloyd’s plantation what I hoped would be my last look. Then, I positioned myself at the front of the sloop and spent the rest of the day focusing on what lay ahead, finding more interest in the distant scenery than in what was close by or behind me.

In the afternoon of that day, we reached Annapolis, the capital of the State. We stopped but a few moments, so that I had no time to go on shore. It was the first large town that I had ever seen, and though it would look small compared with some of our New England factory villages, I thought it a wonderful place for its size—more imposing even than the Great House Farm!

In the afternoon of that day, we arrived in Annapolis, the capital of the state. We only stopped for a few moments, so I didn’t have time to go ashore. It was the first large town I had ever seen, and even though it might seem small compared to some of our New England factory towns, I thought it was an amazing place for its size—more impressive even than the Great House Farm!

We arrived at Baltimore early on Sunday morning, landing at Smith’s Wharf, not far from Bowley’s Wharf. We had on board the sloop a large flock of sheep; and after aiding in driving them to the slaughterhouse of Mr. Curtis on Louden Slater’s Hill, I was conducted by Rich, one of the hands belonging on board of the sloop, to my new home in Alliciana Street, near Mr. Gardner’s ship-yard, on Fells Point.

We got to Baltimore early on Sunday morning, landing at Smith’s Wharf, not far from Bowley’s Wharf. On the sloop, we had a large flock of sheep, and after helping to drive them to Mr. Curtis's slaughterhouse on Louden Slater’s Hill, Rich, one of the crew members from the sloop, took me to my new home on Alliciana Street, close to Mr. Gardner’s shipyard at Fells Point.

Mr. and Mrs. Auld were both at home, and met me at the door with their little son Thomas, to take care of whom I had been given. And here I saw what I had never seen before; it was a white face beaming with the most kindly emotions; it was the face of my new mistress, Sophia Auld. I wish I could describe the rapture that flashed through my soul as I beheld it. It was a new and strange sight to me, brightening up my pathway with the light of happiness. Little Thomas was told, there was his Freddy,—and I was told to take care of little Thomas; and thus I entered upon the duties of my new home with the most cheering prospect ahead.

Mr. and Mrs. Auld were both home and greeted me at the door with their little son Thomas, whom I had come to look after. And here I saw something I had never seen before; it was a white face radiating with the kindest emotions; it was the face of my new mistress, Sophia Auld. I wish I could describe the joy that surged through my soul as I saw it. It was a new and unfamiliar sight to me, lighting up my path with happiness. Little Thomas was told I was his Freddy—and I was told to take care of little Thomas; and so I began my duties at my new home with the most encouraging outlook ahead.

I look upon my departure from Colonel Lloyd’s plantation as one of the most interesting events of my life. It is possible, and even quite probable, that but for the mere circumstance of being removed from that plantation to Baltimore, I should have to-day, instead of being here seated by my own table, in the enjoyment of freedom and the happiness of home, writing this Narrative, been confined in the galling chains of slavery. Going to live at Baltimore laid the foundation, and opened the gateway, to all my subsequent prosperity. I have ever regarded it as the first plain manifestation of that kind providence which has ever since attended me, and marked my life with so many favors. I regarded the selection of myself as being somewhat remarkable. There were a number of slave children that might have been sent from the plantation to Baltimore. There were those younger, those older, and those of the same age. I was chosen from among them all, and was the first, last, and only choice.

I see my leaving Colonel Lloyd’s plantation as one of the most significant events of my life. It's possible, even likely, that if I hadn't been moved from that plantation to Baltimore, I would be trapped in the harsh realities of slavery instead of sitting here at my own table, enjoying my freedom and the happiness of home while writing this Narrative. Moving to Baltimore laid the groundwork and opened the door to all my future success. I’ve always seen it as the first clear sign of the kind providence that has been with me ever since, marking my life with so many blessings. I thought it was a bit unusual that I was selected. There were several slave children who could have been sent from the plantation to Baltimore—some younger, some older, and some my age. I was chosen from all of them and was the first, last, and only choice.

I may be deemed superstitious, and even egotistical, in regarding this event as a special interposition of divine Providence in my favor. But I should be false to the earliest sentiments of my soul, if I suppressed the opinion. I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and incur my own abhorrence. From my earliest recollection, I date the entertainment of a deep conviction that slavery would not always be able to hold me within its foul embrace; and in the darkest hours of my career in slavery, this living word of faith and spirit of hope departed not from me, but remained like ministering angels to cheer me through the gloom. This good spirit was from God, and to him I offer thanksgiving and praise.

I might be seen as superstitious or even self-centered for thinking of this event as a special act of divine Providence in my favor. But I would be betraying my true feelings if I kept that opinion to myself. I'd rather stay true to who I am, even if it means facing ridicule from others, than to be untrue and face my own disgust. From my earliest memories, I felt a strong belief that slavery couldn't keep me trapped forever. Even in the darkest moments of my time in slavery, this living word of faith and spirit of hope never left me; it stayed with me like comforting angels guiding me through the darkness. This good spirit was from God, and I offer thanks and praise to Him.

CHAPTER VI

My new mistress proved to be all she appeared when I first met her at the door,—a woman of the kindest heart and finest feelings. She had never had a slave under her control previously to myself, and prior to her marriage she had been dependent upon her own industry for a living. She was by trade a weaver; and by constant application to her business, she had been in a good degree preserved from the blighting and dehumanizing effects of slavery. I was utterly astonished at her goodness. I scarcely knew how to behave towards her. She was entirely unlike any other white woman I had ever seen. I could not approach her as I was accustomed to approach other white ladies. My early instruction was all out of place. The crouching servility, usually so acceptable a quality in a slave, did not answer when manifested toward her. Her favor was not gained by it; she seemed to be disturbed by it. She did not deem it impudent or unmannerly for a slave to look her in the face. The meanest slave was put fully at ease in her presence, and none left without feeling better for having seen her. Her face was made of heavenly smiles, and her voice of tranquil music.

My new mistress was exactly as she seemed when I first met her at the door—a woman with the kindest heart and the deepest feelings. She had never had a slave before me, and before her marriage, she had relied on her own hard work to make a living. She was a weaver by trade, and through her consistent dedication to her craft, she had largely avoided the damaging and dehumanizing effects of slavery. I was completely amazed by her kindness. I hardly knew how to act around her. She was nothing like any other white woman I had ever encountered. I couldn’t approach her the way I was used to with other white ladies. My early training felt completely inappropriate. The submissive attitude that was usually seen as a good trait in a slave didn’t work with her. She didn’t seem to appreciate it; in fact, it appeared to unsettle her. She didn’t consider it rude or disrespectful for a slave to look her in the eye. Even the most lowly slave felt completely at ease in her presence, and everyone left feeling uplifted after seeing her. Her face radiated kindness, and her voice was soothing and melodic.

But, alas! this kind heart had but a short time to remain such. The fatal poison of irresponsible power was already in her hands, and soon commenced its infernal work. That cheerful eye, under the influence of slavery, soon became red with rage; that voice, made all of sweet accord, changed to one of harsh and horrid discord; and that angelic face gave place to that of a demon.

But, unfortunately! this kind heart had only a brief time to stay that way. The deadly poison of unchecked power was already in her hands, and soon began its destructive work. That cheerful eye, under the influence of oppression, quickly turned red with anger; that voice, once full of sweet harmony, changed to one of harsh and terrible discord; and that angelic face was replaced by that of a demon.

Very soon after I went to live with Mr. and Mrs. Auld, she very kindly commenced to teach me the A, B, C. After I had learned this, she assisted me in learning to spell words of three or four letters. Just at this point of my progress, Mr. Auld found out what was going on, and at once forbade Mrs. Auld to instruct me further, telling her, among other things, that it was unlawful, as well as unsafe, to teach a slave to read. To use his own words, further, he said, “If you give a nigger an inch, he will take an ell. A nigger should know nothing but to obey his master—to do as he is told to do. Learning would spoil the best nigger in the world. Now,” said he, “if you teach that nigger (speaking of myself) how to read, there would be no keeping him. It would forever unfit him to be a slave. He would at once become unmanageable, and of no value to his master. As to himself, it could do him no good, but a great deal of harm. It would make him discontented and unhappy.” These words sank deep into my heart, stirred up sentiments within that lay slumbering, and called into existence an entirely new train of thought. It was a new and special revelation, explaining dark and mysterious things, with which my youthful understanding had struggled, but struggled in vain. I now understood what had been to me a most perplexing difficulty—to wit, the white man’s power to enslave the black man. It was a grand achievement, and I prized it highly. From that moment, I understood the pathway from slavery to freedom. It was just what I wanted, and I got it at a time when I the least expected it. Whilst I was saddened by the thought of losing the aid of my kind mistress, I was gladdened by the invaluable instruction which, by the merest accident, I had gained from my master. Though conscious of the difficulty of learning without a teacher, I set out with high hope, and a fixed purpose, at whatever cost of trouble, to learn how to read. The very decided manner with which he spoke, and strove to impress his wife with the evil consequences of giving me instruction, served to convince me that he was deeply sensible of the truths he was uttering. It gave me the best assurance that I might rely with the utmost confidence on the results which, he said, would flow from teaching me to read. What he most dreaded, that I most desired. What he most loved, that I most hated. That which to him was a great evil, to be carefully shunned, was to me a great good, to be diligently sought; and the argument which he so warmly urged, against my learning to read, only served to inspire me with a desire and determination to learn. In learning to read, I owe almost as much to the bitter opposition of my master, as to the kindly aid of my mistress. I acknowledge the benefit of both.

Very soon after I moved in with Mr. and Mrs. Auld, she kindly began teaching me the alphabet. Once I learned that, she helped me spell words with three or four letters. Just as I was making progress, Mr. Auld discovered what was happening and immediately forbade Mrs. Auld from teaching me any further, telling her that it was not only unlawful but also unsafe to teach a slave to read. He said, “If you give a Black man an inch, he’ll take a mile. A Black man should only know how to obey his master and do what he is told. Learning would ruin the best Black man in the world. Now,” he added, “if you teach that Black man (referring to me) how to read, there would be no keeping him. It would make him unsuitable to be a slave. He would become uncontrollable and worthless to his master. For him, it wouldn’t do any good but a lot of harm. It would make him discontent and unhappy.” These words struck deep into my heart, awakening feelings that had been dormant and bringing forth an entirely new way of thinking. It was a new and significant understanding, revealing dark and mysterious things I had struggled with in vain. I finally understood what had puzzled me the most—the white man’s power to enslave the Black man. It was a huge breakthrough, and I valued it greatly. From that moment on, I recognized the path from slavery to freedom. It was exactly what I needed, and I received it when I least expected it. While I felt sad about losing my kind mistress’s help, I was uplifted by the invaluable knowledge I had accidentally gained from my master. Aware of how challenging it would be to learn without a teacher, I set out with high hopes and a determined purpose, no matter how difficult it might be, to learn to read. The way he spoke so forcefully and tried to impress upon his wife the dangers of teaching me only convinced me that he was well aware of the truths he was expressing. It gave me the confidence to believe in the strong results he claimed would come from teaching me to read. What he feared most, I wanted the most. What he loved, I hated. What he considered a great evil to avoid was for me a great good to pursue diligently, and his arguments against my learning to read only fueled my desire and determination to succeed. In learning to read, I owe almost as much to my master’s harsh opposition as to my mistress’s kind support. I recognize the value of both.

I had resided but a short time in Baltimore before I observed a marked difference, in the treatment of slaves, from that which I had witnessed in the country. A city slave is almost a freeman, compared with a slave on the plantation. He is much better fed and clothed, and enjoys privileges altogether unknown to the slave on the plantation. There is a vestige of decency, a sense of shame, that does much to curb and check those outbreaks of atrocious cruelty so commonly enacted upon the plantation. He is a desperate slaveholder, who will shock the humanity of his non-slaveholding neighbors with the cries of his lacerated slave. Few are willing to incur the odium attaching to the reputation of being a cruel master; and above all things, they would not be known as not giving a slave enough to eat. Every city slaveholder is anxious to have it known of him, that he feeds his slaves well; and it is due to them to say, that most of them do give their slaves enough to eat. There are, however, some painful exceptions to this rule. Directly opposite to us, on Philpot Street, lived Mr. Thomas Hamilton. He owned two slaves. Their names were Henrietta and Mary. Henrietta was about twenty-two years of age, Mary was about fourteen; and of all the mangled and emaciated creatures I ever looked upon, these two were the most so. His heart must be harder than stone, that could look upon these unmoved. The head, neck, and shoulders of Mary were literally cut to pieces. I have frequently felt her head, and found it nearly covered with festering sores, caused by the lash of her cruel mistress. I do not know that her master ever whipped her, but I have been an eye-witness to the cruelty of Mrs. Hamilton. I used to be in Mr. Hamilton’s house nearly every day. Mrs. Hamilton used to sit in a large chair in the middle of the room, with a heavy cowskin always by her side, and scarce an hour passed during the day but was marked by the blood of one of these slaves. The girls seldom passed her without her saying, “Move faster, you black gip!” at the same time giving them a blow with the cowskin over the head or shoulders, often drawing the blood. She would then say, “Take that, you black gip!” continuing, “If you don’t move faster, I’ll move you!” Added to the cruel lashings to which these slaves were subjected, they were kept nearly half-starved. They seldom knew what it was to eat a full meal. I have seen Mary contending with the pigs for the offal thrown into the street. So much was Mary kicked and cut to pieces, that she was oftener called “pecked” than by her name.

I had only been in Baltimore for a short time when I noticed a significant difference in how slaves were treated compared to what I had seen in the country. A city slave is almost like a free person, in contrast to a slave on the plantation. They are better fed and dressed, and they have privileges that plantation slaves don’t experience. There’s a hint of decency and a sense of shame that helps to suppress the horrific cruelty often inflicted on plantation slaves. It takes a truly cruel slaveholder to upset the humanity of their non-slaveholding neighbors with the cries of their beaten slave. Few people want the reputation of being a harsh master, especially when it comes to feeding their slaves enough. Every city slaveholder wants it to be known that they provide enough food for their slaves, and it’s fair to say that most of them do. However, there are some painful exceptions to this trend. Directly across from us, on Philpot Street, lived Mr. Thomas Hamilton. He owned two slaves named Henrietta and Mary. Henrietta was about twenty-two years old, and Mary was about fourteen; of all the battered and emaciated people I ever saw, they were the worst. It would take a heart harder than stone not to be moved by their condition. Mary’s head, neck, and shoulders were literally mutilated. I often touched her head and found it nearly covered with festering sores from the whip of her cruel mistress. I don’t know if her master ever whipped her, but I witnessed Mrs. Hamilton’s cruelty firsthand. I used to be in Mr. Hamilton’s house almost every day. Mrs. Hamilton would sit in a large chair in the middle of the room, always with a heavy cowskin by her side, and hardly an hour went by without one of the slaves bleeding from her blows. The girls often walked by her without her shouting, “Move faster, you black gip!” while hitting them with the cowskin on their head or shoulders, often drawing blood. She would then add, “Take that, you black gip!” and continue, “If you don’t move faster, I’ll move you!” In addition to the brutal beatings, these slaves were kept nearly starving. They rarely experienced a complete meal. I have seen Mary fighting with pigs for scraps thrown into the street. So much was Mary beaten and injured that she was often called “pecked” rather than by her name.

CHAPTER VII

I lived in Master Hugh’s family about seven years. During this time, I succeeded in learning to read and write. In accomplishing this, I was compelled to resort to various stratagems. I had no regular teacher. My mistress, who had kindly commenced to instruct me, had, in compliance with the advice and direction of her husband, not only ceased to instruct, but had set her face against my being instructed by any one else. It is due, however, to my mistress to say of her, that she did not adopt this course of treatment immediately. She at first lacked the depravity indispensable to shutting me up in mental darkness. It was at least necessary for her to have some training in the exercise of irresponsible power, to make her equal to the task of treating me as though I were a brute.

I lived with Master Hugh's family for about seven years. During that time, I managed to learn how to read and write. To achieve this, I had to use various tricks. I didn't have a regular teacher. My mistress, who had kindly started to teach me, had, following her husband's advice, not only stopped teaching me but also made sure I wouldn't be taught by anyone else. However, I have to say that my mistress didn't take this approach right away. At first, she didn't have the heart to keep me in the dark intellectually. It took her some training in wielding unchecked power to treat me like I was an animal.

My mistress was, as I have said, a kind and tender-hearted woman; and in the simplicity of her soul she commenced, when I first went to live with her, to treat me as she supposed one human being ought to treat another. In entering upon the duties of a slaveholder, she did not seem to perceive that I sustained to her the relation of a mere chattel, and that for her to treat me as a human being was not only wrong, but dangerously so. Slavery proved as injurious to her as it did to me. When I went there, she was a pious, warm, and tender-hearted woman. There was no sorrow or suffering for which she had not a tear. She had bread for the hungry, clothes for the naked, and comfort for every mourner that came within her reach. Slavery soon proved its ability to divest her of these heavenly qualities. Under its influence, the tender heart became stone, and the lamblike disposition gave way to one of tiger-like fierceness. The first step in her downward course was in her ceasing to instruct me. She now commenced to practise her husband’s precepts. She finally became even more violent in her opposition than her husband himself. She was not satisfied with simply doing as well as he had commanded; she seemed anxious to do better. Nothing seemed to make her more angry than to see me with a newspaper. She seemed to think that here lay the danger. I have had her rush at me with a face made all up of fury, and snatch from me a newspaper, in a manner that fully revealed her apprehension. She was an apt woman; and a little experience soon demonstrated, to her satisfaction, that education and slavery were incompatible with each other.

My mistress was, as I mentioned, a kind and caring woman. In her simple way, when I first started living with her, she treated me how she thought one person should treat another. As she took on the responsibilities of being a slaveholder, she didn't seem to realize that I was just a piece of property to her, and that treating me like a human being was not only wrong but also risky. Slavery harmed her just as much as it hurt me. When I arrived, she was a religious, warm, and compassionate woman. She had a tear for every sorrow or suffering. She fed the hungry, clothed the naked, and comforted every mourner who came to her. But soon, slavery started to strip her of those beautiful qualities. Under its influence, her tender heart turned to stone, and her gentle nature was replaced by one of fierce aggression. The first sign of her decline was when she stopped teaching me. She began to follow her husband’s beliefs and became even more aggressive in her opposition than he was. She wasn’t satisfied with just following his orders; she seemed eager to surpass him. Nothing made her angrier than seeing me with a newspaper. She believed that was where the danger lay. I’ve seen her rush at me, her face filled with rage, and snatch the newspaper from my hands, revealing her fear. She was an intelligent woman, and it didn’t take long for her to grasp that education and slavery couldn’t coexist.

From this time I was most narrowly watched. If I was in a separate room any considerable length of time, I was sure to be suspected of having a book, and was at once called to give an account of myself. All this, however, was too late. The first step had been taken. Mistress, in teaching me the alphabet, had given me the inch, and no precaution could prevent me from taking the ell.

From then on, I was watched very closely. If I was alone in a room for any significant amount of time, they would definitely suspect I had a book and immediately call me to explain myself. But it was all too late. The first step had already been taken. By teaching me the alphabet, my mistress had given me the inch, and no amount of caution could stop me from taking the ell.

The plan which I adopted, and the one by which I was most successful, was that of making friends of all the little white boys whom I met in the street. As many of these as I could, I converted into teachers. With their kindly aid, obtained at different times and in different places, I finally succeeded in learning to read. When I was sent of errands, I always took my book with me, and by going one part of my errand quickly, I found time to get a lesson before my return. I used also to carry bread with me, enough of which was always in the house, and to which I was always welcome; for I was much better off in this regard than many of the poor white children in our neighborhood. This bread I used to bestow upon the hungry little urchins, who, in return, would give me that more valuable bread of knowledge. I am strongly tempted to give the names of two or three of those little boys, as a testimonial of the gratitude and affection I bear them; but prudence forbids;—not that it would injure me, but it might embarrass them; for it is almost an unpardonable offence to teach slaves to read in this Christian country. It is enough to say of the dear little fellows, that they lived on Philpot Street, very near Durgin and Bailey’s ship-yard. I used to talk this matter of slavery over with them. I would sometimes say to them, I wished I could be as free as they would be when they got to be men. “You will be free as soon as you are twenty-one, but I am a slave for life! Have not I as good a right to be free as you have?” These words used to trouble them; they would express for me the liveliest sympathy, and console me with the hope that something would occur by which I might be free.

The plan I came up with, and the one that worked best for me, was to befriend all the little white boys I met on the street. I turned as many of them as I could into my teachers. With their generous help, which I got at various times and places, I finally managed to learn how to read. When I was sent on errands, I always took my book with me, and by finishing part of my errand quickly, I found time to get a lesson in before heading back. I also brought along bread, which we always had plenty of at home, and I was always welcomed to it; I was much better off than many of the poor white kids in our neighborhood. I would give this bread to the hungry little kids, and in return, they would share the much more valuable bread of knowledge with me. I really want to mention the names of a couple of those boys as a way of showing my gratitude and affection for them, but I shouldn’t— not because it would harm me, but it might put them in a tough spot; teaching slaves to read is almost a crime in this so-called Christian country. It's enough to say that those dear little guys lived on Philpot Street, close to Durgin and Bailey’s shipyard. I would talk about slavery with them. Sometimes I would say that I wished I could be as free as they would be when they grew up. “You’ll be free when you turn twenty-one, but I’m a slave for life! Don’t I have just as much right to be free as you do?” These words would upset them; they would show me the deepest sympathy and comfort me with the hope that something would happen to set me free.

I was now about twelve years old, and the thought of being a slave for life began to bear heavily upon my heart. Just about this time, I got hold of a book entitled “The Columbian Orator.” Every opportunity I got, I used to read this book. Among much of other interesting matter, I found in it a dialogue between a master and his slave. The slave was represented as having run away from his master three times. The dialogue represented the conversation which took place between them, when the slave was retaken the third time. In this dialogue, the whole argument in behalf of slavery was brought forward by the master, all of which was disposed of by the slave. The slave was made to say some very smart as well as impressive things in reply to his master—things which had the desired though unexpected effect; for the conversation resulted in the voluntary emancipation of the slave on the part of the master.

I was about twelve years old, and the thought of being a slave for life started weighing heavily on my heart. Around this time, I got my hands on a book called “The Columbian Orator.” I used every chance I had to read this book. Among a lot of other interesting content, I found a dialogue between a master and his slave. The slave was portrayed as having escaped from his master three times. The dialogue captured the conversation that took place when the slave was caught for the third time. In this dialogue, the master presented all arguments in favor of slavery, all of which the slave successfully countered. The slave was made to say some really clever and impactful things in response to his master—things that had the intended but surprising outcome; in the end, the conversation led to the master choosing to free the slave.

In the same book, I met with one of Sheridan’s mighty speeches on and in behalf of Catholic emancipation. These were choice documents to me. I read them over and over again with unabated interest. They gave tongue to interesting thoughts of my own soul, which had frequently flashed through my mind, and died away for want of utterance. The moral which I gained from the dialogue was the power of truth over the conscience of even a slaveholder. What I got from Sheridan was a bold denunciation of slavery, and a powerful vindication of human rights. The reading of these documents enabled me to utter my thoughts, and to meet the arguments brought forward to sustain slavery; but while they relieved me of one difficulty, they brought on another even more painful than the one of which I was relieved. The more I read, the more I was led to abhor and detest my enslavers. I could regard them in no other light than a band of successful robbers, who had left their homes, and gone to Africa, and stolen us from our homes, and in a strange land reduced us to slavery. I loathed them as being the meanest as well as the most wicked of men. As I read and contemplated the subject, behold! that very discontentment which Master Hugh had predicted would follow my learning to read had already come, to torment and sting my soul to unutterable anguish. As I writhed under it, I would at times feel that learning to read had been a curse rather than a blessing. It had given me a view of my wretched condition, without the remedy. It opened my eyes to the horrible pit, but to no ladder upon which to get out. In moments of agony, I envied my fellow-slaves for their stupidity. I have often wished myself a beast. I preferred the condition of the meanest reptile to my own. Any thing, no matter what, to get rid of thinking! It was this everlasting thinking of my condition that tormented me. There was no getting rid of it. It was pressed upon me by every object within sight or hearing, animate or inanimate. The silver trump of freedom had roused my soul to eternal wakefulness. Freedom now appeared, to disappear no more forever. It was heard in every sound, and seen in every thing. It was ever present to torment me with a sense of my wretched condition. I saw nothing without seeing it, I heard nothing without hearing it, and felt nothing without feeling it. It looked from every star, it smiled in every calm, breathed in every wind, and moved in every storm.

In the same book, I came across one of Sheridan’s powerful speeches about and for Catholic emancipation. These were important documents for me. I read them repeatedly with ongoing interest. They expressed thoughts from deep within me that had often flashed through my mind but faded away without being voiced. The lesson I took from the dialogue was the influence of truth on the conscience of even a slaveholder. What I got from Sheridan was a strong condemnation of slavery and a compelling defense of human rights. Reading these documents allowed me to articulate my thoughts and counter the arguments used to justify slavery; however, while they helped me with one issue, they created another that was even more painful than the one I was relieved from. The more I read, the more I grew to abhor my enslavers. I could only see them as a group of successful thieves who left their homes, went to Africa, and stole us from our homes, reducing us to slavery in a foreign land. I detested them as the most contemptible and wicked of men. As I read and contemplated the subject, I realized that the discontent Master Hugh had predicted would come with my learning to read had indeed arrived, tormenting and torturing my soul to unbearable anguish. As I struggled with it, I sometimes felt that learning to read had been a curse rather than a blessing. It showed me my miserable condition without offering a solution. It opened my eyes to my horrific state but didn’t present a way out. In moments of despair, I envied my fellow slaves for their ignorance. I often wished I were an animal. I would have preferred the state of the most insignificant creature to my own. Anything, no matter what, to escape thinking! It was this constant reflection on my situation that tormented me. There was no escaping it. It was enforced by everything around me, both living and nonliving. The silver trumpet of freedom had stirred my soul to eternal wakefulness. Freedom now seemed to be a vision that would never fade away again. It was in every sound and visible in everything. It was always there to torment me with the awareness of my miserable condition. I saw nothing without seeing it, heard nothing without hearing it, and felt nothing without feeling it. It shone from every star, smiled in every calm, breathed in every wind, and moved in every storm.

I often found myself regretting my own existence, and wishing myself dead; and but for the hope of being free, I have no doubt but that I should have killed myself, or done something for which I should have been killed. While in this state of mind, I was eager to hear any one speak of slavery. I was a ready listener. Every little while, I could hear something about the abolitionists. It was some time before I found what the word meant. It was always used in such connections as to make it an interesting word to me. If a slave ran away and succeeded in getting clear, or if a slave killed his master, set fire to a barn, or did any thing very wrong in the mind of a slaveholder, it was spoken of as the fruit of abolition. Hearing the word in this connection very often, I set about learning what it meant. The dictionary afforded me little or no help. I found it was “the act of abolishing;” but then I did not know what was to be abolished. Here I was perplexed. I did not dare to ask any one about its meaning, for I was satisfied that it was something they wanted me to know very little about. After a patient waiting, I got one of our city papers, containing an account of the number of petitions from the north, praying for the abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia, and of the slave trade between the States. From this time I understood the words abolition and abolitionist, and always drew near when that word was spoken, expecting to hear something of importance to myself and fellow-slaves. The light broke in upon me by degrees. I went one day down on the wharf of Mr. Waters; and seeing two Irishmen unloading a scow of stone, I went, unasked, and helped them. When we had finished, one of them came to me and asked me if I were a slave. I told him I was. He asked, “Are ye a slave for life?” I told him that I was. The good Irishman seemed to be deeply affected by the statement. He said to the other that it was a pity so fine a little fellow as myself should be a slave for life. He said it was a shame to hold me. They both advised me to run away to the north; that I should find friends there, and that I should be free. I pretended not to be interested in what they said, and treated them as if I did not understand them; for I feared they might be treacherous. White men have been known to encourage slaves to escape, and then, to get the reward, catch them and return them to their masters. I was afraid that these seemingly good men might use me so; but I nevertheless remembered their advice, and from that time I resolved to run away. I looked forward to a time at which it would be safe for me to escape. I was too young to think of doing so immediately; besides, I wished to learn how to write, as I might have occasion to write my own pass. I consoled myself with the hope that I should one day find a good chance. Meanwhile, I would learn to write.

I often found myself regretting my own existence and wishing I were dead; and if it weren't for the hope of being free, I’m sure I would have killed myself or done something that would get me killed. During this time, I was eager to hear anyone talk about slavery. I was an attentive listener. Every now and then, I would hear something about abolitionists. It took a while before I figured out what the word meant. It was always used in contexts that made it interesting to me. If a slave escaped and succeeded, or if a slave killed his master, set fire to a barn, or did anything that seemed very wrong to a slaveholder, it was referred to as the result of abolition. Hearing this word so often, I set out to learn what it meant. The dictionary didn’t help much. I found it meant “the act of abolishing,” but I didn’t know what was supposed to be abolished. I was confused. I didn’t dare to ask anyone about its meaning because I was sure it was something they wanted me to know very little about. After a while, I got one of our city papers, which included an account of the number of petitions from the North asking for the abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia and the slave trade between the States. From then on, I understood the words abolition and abolitionist, and I always moved closer whenever that word was spoken, expecting to hear something important for myself and my fellow slaves. Gradually, the truth started to dawn on me. One day, I went down to the wharf of Mr. Waters, and seeing two Irishmen unloading a barge of stone, I went over uninvited and helped them. When we finished, one of them came up to me and asked if I was a slave. I said I was. He asked, “Are you a slave for life?” I told him I was. The kind Irishman seemed really affected by this. He told the other that it was a shame for a fine little guy like me to be a slave for life. He said it was wrong to keep me in bondage. They both encouraged me to run away to the North, saying I would find friends there and be free. I pretended not to be interested in what they were saying and acted like I didn’t understand them because I was afraid they might have hidden motives. White men have been known to encourage slaves to escape and then catch them for the reward, returning them to their masters. I worried that these seemingly good guys might do that, but I still remembered their advice and decided from that moment to run away. I started looking forward to a time when it would be safe for me to escape. I was too young to think about doing it right away; besides, I wanted to learn how to write since I might need to write my own pass. I comforted myself with the hope that I would eventually find a good opportunity. In the meantime, I would learn to write.

The idea as to how I might learn to write was suggested to me by being in Durgin and Bailey’s ship-yard, and frequently seeing the ship carpenters, after hewing, and getting a piece of timber ready for use, write on the timber the name of that part of the ship for which it was intended. When a piece of timber was intended for the larboard side, it would be marked thus—“L.” When a piece was for the starboard side, it would be marked thus—“S.” A piece for the larboard side forward, would be marked thus—“L. F.” When a piece was for starboard side forward, it would be marked thus—“S. F.” For larboard aft, it would be marked thus—“L. A.” For starboard aft, it would be marked thus—“S. A.” I soon learned the names of these letters, and for what they were intended when placed upon a piece of timber in the ship-yard. I immediately commenced copying them, and in a short time was able to make the four letters named. After that, when I met with any boy who I knew could write, I would tell him I could write as well as he. The next word would be, “I don’t believe you. Let me see you try it.” I would then make the letters which I had been so fortunate as to learn, and ask him to beat that. In this way I got a good many lessons in writing, which it is quite possible I should never have gotten in any other way. During this time, my copy-book was the board fence, brick wall, and pavement; my pen and ink was a lump of chalk. With these, I learned mainly how to write. I then commenced and continued copying the Italics in Webster’s Spelling Book, until I could make them all without looking on the book. By this time, my little Master Thomas had gone to school, and learned how to write, and had written over a number of copy-books. These had been brought home, and shown to some of our near neighbors, and then laid aside. My mistress used to go to class meeting at the Wilk Street meetinghouse every Monday afternoon, and leave me to take care of the house. When left thus, I used to spend the time in writing in the spaces left in Master Thomas’s copy-book, copying what he had written. I continued to do this until I could write a hand very similar to that of Master Thomas. Thus, after a long, tedious effort for years, I finally succeeded in learning how to write.

The way I figured out how to write was inspired by my time at Durgin and Bailey’s shipyard, where I often saw the ship carpenters. After shaping and preparing a piece of wood, they would write on it the name of the part of the ship it was meant for. If a piece was for the left side, it was marked “L.” If it was for the right side, it was marked “S.” A piece for the left side in the front would be labeled “L. F.” For the right side in the front, it was “S. F.” For the left side in the back, it read “L. A.” And for the right side in the back, it showed “S. A.” I quickly learned the meanings of these letters and what they indicated when placed on a piece of wood in the yard. I started copying them, and before long, I could write those four letters. After that, whenever I met a boy who I knew could write, I would claim I could write just as well. The typical response was, “I don’t believe you. Show me.” I would then write the letters I had learned, challenging him to do better. This way, I picked up a lot of tips on writing, which I probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise. During this time, my writing surfaces were the board fence, brick wall, and pavement, and my pen and ink were a piece of chalk. Using these tools, I mainly taught myself how to write. I then started copying the Italics in Webster’s Spelling Book until I could reproduce them all without looking at the book. By then, my little Master Thomas had gone to school, learned to write, and filled several copy-books. These were brought home, shown to some of our neighbors, and then put away. My mistress went to class meetings at the Wilk Street meetinghouse every Monday afternoon, leaving me to look after the house. In that time, I would write in the empty spaces of Master Thomas’s copy-book, copying what he had written. I kept this up until I was able to write in a style very similar to Master Thomas’s. Thus, after years of hard work and persistence, I finally learned how to write.

CHAPTER VIII

In a very short time after I went to live at Baltimore, my old master’s youngest son Richard died; and in about three years and six months after his death, my old master, Captain Anthony, died, leaving only his son, Andrew, and daughter, Lucretia, to share his estate. He died while on a visit to see his daughter at Hillsborough. Cut off thus unexpectedly, he left no will as to the disposal of his property. It was therefore necessary to have a valuation of the property, that it might be equally divided between Mrs. Lucretia and Master Andrew. I was immediately sent for, to be valued with the other property. Here again my feelings rose up in detestation of slavery. I had now a new conception of my degraded condition. Prior to this, I had become, if not insensible to my lot, at least partly so. I left Baltimore with a young heart overborne with sadness, and a soul full of apprehension. I took passage with Captain Rowe, in the schooner Wild Cat, and, after a sail of about twenty-four hours, I found myself near the place of my birth. I had now been absent from it almost, if not quite, five years. I, however, remembered the place very well. I was only about five years old when I left it, to go and live with my old master on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation; so that I was now between ten and eleven years old.

In a very short time after I moved to Baltimore, my old master's youngest son Richard passed away; and about three and a half years later, my old master, Captain Anthony, also died, leaving only his son, Andrew, and daughter, Lucretia, to inherit his estate. He died while visiting his daughter in Hillsborough. Sudden and unexpected, he left no will regarding the distribution of his property. So, it was necessary to have an appraisal of the property to divide it equally between Mrs. Lucretia and Master Andrew. I was immediately called to be valued along with the other property. Again, my feelings surged in disgust at slavery. I had a new understanding of my degraded situation. Before this, I had become, if not completely numb to my fate, at least somewhat so. I left Baltimore with a young heart weighed down by sadness and a soul filled with anxiety. I boarded the schooner Wild Cat with Captain Rowe, and after about twenty-four hours of sailing, I found myself near my birthplace. I had been away for almost, if not quite, five years. However, I remembered the place very clearly. I was only about five years old when I left to live with my old master on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation; so, I was now between ten and eleven years old.

We were all ranked together at the valuation. Men and women, old and young, married and single, were ranked with horses, sheep, and swine. There were horses and men, cattle and women, pigs and children, all holding the same rank in the scale of being, and were all subjected to the same narrow examination. Silvery-headed age and sprightly youth, maids and matrons, had to undergo the same indelicate inspection. At this moment, I saw more clearly than ever the brutalizing effects of slavery upon both slave and slaveholder.

We were all evaluated together at the valuation. Men and women, old and young, married and single, were ranked alongside horses, sheep, and pigs. There were horses and men, cattle and women, pigs and children, all holding the same rank in the hierarchy of existence, and all faced the same brutal scrutiny. Elderly individuals and lively youths, young women and mothers, had to go through the same uncomfortable inspection. In that moment, I understood more clearly than ever the dehumanizing effects of slavery on both the enslaved and the enslaver.

After the valuation, then came the division. I have no language to express the high excitement and deep anxiety which were felt among us poor slaves during this time. Our fate for life was now to be decided. We had no more voice in that decision than the brutes among whom we were ranked. A single word from the white men was enough—against all our wishes, prayers, and entreaties—to sunder forever the dearest friends, dearest kindred, and strongest ties known to human beings. In addition to the pain of separation, there was the horrid dread of falling into the hands of Master Andrew. He was known to us all as being a most cruel wretch,—a common drunkard, who had, by his reckless mismanagement and profligate dissipation, already wasted a large portion of his father’s property. We all felt that we might as well be sold at once to the Georgia traders, as to pass into his hands; for we knew that that would be our inevitable condition,—a condition held by us all in the utmost horror and dread.

After the valuation, the division came next. I can't find the words to describe the intense excitement and deep anxiety we poor slaves felt during this time. Our fate for life was about to be decided. We had just as much say in that decision as the animals we were compared to. One word from the white men could forever tear apart our closest friends, family, and the strongest bonds we had. Along with the pain of separation, there was the terrifying fear of ending up with Master Andrew. He was known to all of us as a cruel man—a common alcoholic, who had already squandered a large part of his father's wealth through his reckless behavior and wasteful spending. We all thought it would be better to be sold to the Georgia traders than to end up in his hands, because we knew that would be our horrible fate—a fate that filled us all with dread and horror.

I suffered more anxiety than most of my fellow-slaves. I had known what it was to be kindly treated; they had known nothing of the kind. They had seen little or nothing of the world. They were in very deed men and women of sorrow, and acquainted with grief. Their backs had been made familiar with the bloody lash, so that they had become callous; mine was yet tender; for while at Baltimore I got few whippings, and few slaves could boast of a kinder master and mistress than myself; and the thought of passing out of their hands into those of Master Andrew—a man who, but a few days before, to give me a sample of his bloody disposition, took my little brother by the throat, threw him on the ground, and with the heel of his boot stamped upon his head till the blood gushed from his nose and ears—was well calculated to make me anxious as to my fate. After he had committed this savage outrage upon my brother, he turned to me, and said that was the way he meant to serve me one of these days,—meaning, I suppose, when I came into his possession.

I experienced more anxiety than most of my fellow slaves. I had known what it was to be treated kindly; they had never experienced anything like that. They had seen very little of the world. They were truly men and women of sorrow, familiar with grief. Their backs had endured the cruel lash, which had made them tough; mine was still sensitive because during my time in Baltimore, I received few whippings, and very few slaves could say they had a kinder master and mistress than I did. The thought of going from their care to that of Master Andrew—a man who, just a few days earlier, demonstrated his violent nature by grabbing my little brother by the throat, throwing him to the ground, and stomping on his head until blood poured from his nose and ears—made me very anxious about my future. After he had brutally attacked my brother, he turned to me and said that was how he planned to treat me one day—meaning, I suppose, when I became his property.

Thanks to a kind Providence, I fell to the portion of Mrs. Lucretia, and was sent immediately back to Baltimore, to live again in the family of Master Hugh. Their joy at my return equalled their sorrow at my departure. It was a glad day to me. I had escaped a worse than lion’s jaws. I was absent from Baltimore, for the purpose of valuation and division, just about one month, and it seemed to have been six.

Thanks to a kind fate, I ended up with Mrs. Lucretia and was sent straight back to Baltimore to live again with Master Hugh's family. Their happiness at my return matched their sadness at my leaving. It was a joyful day for me. I had escaped something worse than a lion's jaws. I had been away from Baltimore for about a month for an evaluation and division, but it felt like six.

Very soon after my return to Baltimore, my mistress, Lucretia, died, leaving her husband and one child, Amanda; and in a very short time after her death, Master Andrew died. Now all the property of my old master, slaves included, was in the hands of strangers,—strangers who had had nothing to do with accumulating it. Not a slave was left free. All remained slaves, from the youngest to the oldest. If any one thing in my experience, more than another, served to deepen my conviction of the infernal character of slavery, and to fill me with unutterable loathing of slaveholders, it was their base ingratitude to my poor old grandmother. She had served my old master faithfully from youth to old age. She had been the source of all his wealth; she had peopled his plantation with slaves; she had become a great grandmother in his service. She had rocked him in infancy, attended him in childhood, served him through life, and at his death wiped from his icy brow the cold death-sweat, and closed his eyes forever. She was nevertheless left a slave—a slave for life—a slave in the hands of strangers; and in their hands she saw her children, her grandchildren, and her great-grandchildren, divided, like so many sheep, without being gratified with the small privilege of a single word, as to their or her own destiny. And, to cap the climax of their base ingratitude and fiendish barbarity, my grandmother, who was now very old, having outlived my old master and all his children, having seen the beginning and end of all of them, and her present owners finding she was of but little value, her frame already racked with the pains of old age, and complete helplessness fast stealing over her once active limbs, they took her to the woods, built her a little hut, put up a little mud-chimney, and then made her welcome to the privilege of supporting herself there in perfect loneliness; thus virtually turning her out to die! If my poor old grandmother now lives, she lives to suffer in utter loneliness; she lives to remember and mourn over the loss of children, the loss of grandchildren, and the loss of great-grandchildren. They are, in the language of the slave’s poet, Whittier,—

Very soon after I returned to Baltimore, my mistress, Lucretia, died, leaving behind her husband and one child, Amanda. Shortly after her death, Master Andrew also passed away. Now all of my old master's property, including the slaves, was in the hands of strangers—people who had nothing to do with accumulating it. Not a single slave was freed. Everyone remained a slave, from the youngest to the oldest. If there's one thing in my experience that deepened my belief in the evil nature of slavery and filled me with disgust for slaveholders, it was their utter ingratitude towards my poor old grandmother. She had served my old master loyally from youth to old age. She was the source of all his wealth; she had populated his plantation with slaves; she became a great-grandmother while in his service. She had rocked him as a baby, cared for him in childhood, served him throughout his life, and at his death wiped the cold sweat from his brow and closed his eyes forever. Yet, she was still left a slave—a slave for life—in the hands of strangers. In their hands, she saw her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren divided like livestock, without even the small courtesy of a word about their or her own fate. To top off their ingratitude and cruelty, my grandmother, who was now very old and had outlived my old master and all his children, was deemed of little value by her new owners. Her body, already wracked by the pains of old age and with complete helplessness encroaching upon her once-active limbs, they took her to the woods, built her a small hut, constructed a little mud chimney, and then granted her the privilege of supporting herself there in total isolation—essentially casting her out to die! If my poor old grandmother is still alive, she lives to endure deep loneliness; she lives to remember and mourn the loss of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. They are, in the words of the slave poet Whittier—

“Gone, gone, sold and gone
To the rice swamp dank and lone,
Where the slave-whip ceaseless swings,
Where the noisome insect stings,
Where the fever-demon strews
Poison with the falling dews,
Where the sickly sunbeams glare
Through the hot and misty air:—
Gone, gone, sold and gone
To the rice swamp dank and lone,
From Virginia hills and waters—
Woe is me, my stolen daughters!”

“Gone, gone, sold and gone
To the soggy, lonely rice swamp,
Where the slave whip never stops,
Where the bothersome insects bite,
Where the fever demon spreads
Toxins with the falling dew,
Where the sickly sunlight glares
Through the hot and hazy air:—
Gone, gone, sold and gone
To the soggy, lonely rice swamp,
From the hills and waters of Virginia—
Woe is me, my kidnapped daughters!”

The hearth is desolate. The children, the unconscious children, who once sang and danced in her presence, are gone. She gropes her way, in the darkness of age, for a drink of water. Instead of the voices of her children, she hears by day the moans of the dove, and by night the screams of the hideous owl. All is gloom. The grave is at the door. And now, when weighed down by the pains and aches of old age, when the head inclines to the feet, when the beginning and ending of human existence meet, and helpless infancy and painful old age combine together—at this time, this most needful time, the time for the exercise of that tenderness and affection which children only can exercise towards a declining parent—my poor old grandmother, the devoted mother of twelve children, is left all alone, in yonder little hut, before a few dim embers. She stands—she sits—she staggers—she falls—she groans—she dies—and there are none of her children or grandchildren present, to wipe from her wrinkled brow the cold sweat of death, or to place beneath the sod her fallen remains. Will not a righteous God visit for these things?

The hearth is empty. The children, the unaware children, who once sang and danced around her, are gone. She fumbles in the darkness of old age for a drink of water. Instead of hearing her children's voices, she hears the dove's moans during the day and the unsettling owl's screams at night. Everything is dreary. The grave is near. And now, burdened by the pains and aches of aging, when her head bows toward her feet, when the beginning and end of life converge, and helpless infancy meets painful old age—at this crucial moment, the moment for the love and care that only children can give to a fading parent—my poor old grandmother, the devoted mother of twelve, is left all alone in that little hut, before a few dying embers. She stands—she sits—she stumbles—she falls—she groans—she dies—and none of her children or grandchildren are there to wipe the cold sweat of death from her wrinkled brow or to lay her to rest beneath the soil. Will a just God not address these things?

In about two years after the death of Mrs. Lucretia, Master Thomas married his second wife. Her name was Rowena Hamilton. She was the eldest daughter of Mr. William Hamilton. Master now lived in St. Michael’s. Not long after his marriage, a misunderstanding took place between himself and Master Hugh; and as a means of punishing his brother, he took me from him to live with himself at St. Michael’s. Here I underwent another most painful separation. It, however, was not so severe as the one I dreaded at the division of property; for, during this interval, a great change had taken place in Master Hugh and his once kind and affectionate wife. The influence of brandy upon him, and of slavery upon her, had effected a disastrous change in the characters of both; so that, as far as they were concerned, I thought I had little to lose by the change. But it was not to them that I was attached. It was to those little Baltimore boys that I felt the strongest attachment. I had received many good lessons from them, and was still receiving them, and the thought of leaving them was painful indeed. I was leaving, too, without the hope of ever being allowed to return. Master Thomas had said he would never let me return again. The barrier betwixt himself and brother he considered impassable.

About two years after Mrs. Lucretia passed away, Master Thomas married his second wife, Rowena Hamilton, the eldest daughter of Mr. William Hamilton. Master now lived in St. Michael’s. Not long after the wedding, a misunderstanding occurred between him and Master Hugh. To punish his brother, he took me away to live with him at St. Michael’s. Here, I faced another painful separation. However, it wasn’t as hard as the one I feared during the division of property; a significant change had happened in Master Hugh and his once kind and loving wife. The effects of alcohol on him and slavery on her had drastically altered both of their characters, so I felt I had little to lose from the change. But my real attachment wasn’t to them; it was to those little boys in Baltimore. They had given me many good lessons and were still teaching me, and the thought of leaving them was truly painful. I was also leaving without any hope of returning. Master Thomas had said he would never allow me to come back. He believed the divide between him and his brother was impossible to cross.

I then had to regret that I did not at least make the attempt to carry out my resolution to run away; for the chances of success are tenfold greater from the city than from the country.

I then had to regret not at least trying to follow through on my plan to run away; the chances of success are much higher in the city than in the country.

I sailed from Baltimore for St. Michael’s in the sloop Amanda, Captain Edward Dodson. On my passage, I paid particular attention to the direction which the steamboats took to go to Philadelphia. I found, instead of going down, on reaching North Point they went up the bay, in a north-easterly direction. I deemed this knowledge of the utmost importance. My determination to run away was again revived. I resolved to wait only so long as the offering of a favorable opportunity. When that came, I was determined to be off.

I set sail from Baltimore to St. Michael’s on the sloop Amanda, captained by Edward Dodson. During my journey, I paid close attention to the route the steamboats took to get to Philadelphia. I noticed that instead of heading south, they went up the bay in a northeast direction upon reaching North Point. I considered this information extremely valuable. My desire to escape was reignited. I decided to wait only for the right opportunity. When it arose, I was ready to leave.

CHAPTER IX

I have now reached a period of my life when I can give dates. I left Baltimore, and went to live with Master Thomas Auld, at St. Michael’s, in March, 1832. It was now more than seven years since I lived with him in the family of my old master, on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation. We of course were now almost entire strangers to each other. He was to me a new master, and I to him a new slave. I was ignorant of his temper and disposition; he was equally so of mine. A very short time, however, brought us into full acquaintance with each other. I was made acquainted with his wife not less than with himself. They were well matched, being equally mean and cruel. I was now, for the first time during a space of more than seven years, made to feel the painful gnawings of hunger—a something which I had not experienced before since I left Colonel Lloyd’s plantation. It went hard enough with me then, when I could look back to no period at which I had enjoyed a sufficiency. It was tenfold harder after living in Master Hugh’s family, where I had always had enough to eat, and of that which was good. I have said Master Thomas was a mean man. He was so. Not to give a slave enough to eat, is regarded as the most aggravated development of meanness even among slaveholders. The rule is, no matter how coarse the food, only let there be enough of it. This is the theory; and in the part of Maryland from which I came, it is the general practice,—though there are many exceptions. Master Thomas gave us enough of neither coarse nor fine food. There were four slaves of us in the kitchen—my sister Eliza, my aunt Priscilla, Henny, and myself; and we were allowed less than a half of a bushel of corn-meal per week, and very little else, either in the shape of meat or vegetables. It was not enough for us to subsist upon. We were therefore reduced to the wretched necessity of living at the expense of our neighbors. This we did by begging and stealing, whichever came handy in the time of need, the one being considered as legitimate as the other. A great many times have we poor creatures been nearly perishing with hunger, when food in abundance lay mouldering in the safe and smoke-house, and our pious mistress was aware of the fact; and yet that mistress and her husband would kneel every morning, and pray that God would bless them in basket and store!

I have now reached a point in my life where I can give dates. I left Baltimore and moved in with Master Thomas Auld at St. Michael’s in March 1832. It had been more than seven years since I had lived with him in my old master’s household on Colonel Lloyd’s plantation. We were almost complete strangers to each other now. He was a new master to me, and I was a new slave to him. I didn’t know his temperament or personality; he didn’t know mine either. However, it didn’t take long for us to get to know each other well. I became acquainted with his wife just as much as with him. They were well matched, both being equally mean and cruel. For the first time in over seven years, I felt the painful gnaw of hunger—something I hadn’t experienced since leaving Colonel Lloyd’s plantation. It was tough back then, but much harder after living in Master Hugh’s household, where I always had enough to eat and good food at that. I’ve mentioned that Master Thomas was a mean man, and he truly was. Not providing a slave with enough food is seen as a serious level of meanness, even among slaveholders. The rule is, no matter how poor the food may be, just ensure there's enough of it. This is the theory, and it’s the common practice in the part of Maryland I came from, although there are many exceptions. Master Thomas provided us with neither sufficient coarse nor fine food. There were four of us slaves in the kitchen—my sister Eliza, my aunt Priscilla, Henny, and me—and we were given less than half a bushel of cornmeal per week, along with very little else in terms of meat or vegetables. It wasn’t enough for us to survive on. As a result, we were forced to live off our neighbors. We did this by begging and stealing, both being seen as equally acceptable when necessary. Many times, we poor souls were nearly starving while food sat rotting in the safe and smokehouse, and our pious mistress knew it; yet that mistress and her husband would kneel every morning and pray that God would bless them in their supplies!

Bad as all slaveholders are, we seldom meet one destitute of every element of character commanding respect. My master was one of this rare sort. I do not know of one single noble act ever performed by him. The leading trait in his character was meanness; and if there were any other element in his nature, it was made subject to this. He was mean; and, like most other mean men, he lacked the ability to conceal his meanness. Captain Auld was not born a slaveholder. He had been a poor man, master only of a Bay craft. He came into possession of all his slaves by marriage; and of all men, adopted slaveholders are the worst. He was cruel, but cowardly. He commanded without firmness. In the enforcement of his rules, he was at times rigid, and at times lax. At times, he spoke to his slaves with the firmness of Napoleon and the fury of a demon; at other times, he might well be mistaken for an inquirer who had lost his way. He did nothing of himself. He might have passed for a lion, but for his ears. In all things noble which he attempted, his own meanness shone most conspicuous. His airs, words, and actions, were the airs, words, and actions of born slaveholders, and, being assumed, were awkward enough. He was not even a good imitator. He possessed all the disposition to deceive, but wanted the power. Having no resources within himself, he was compelled to be the copyist of many, and being such, he was forever the victim of inconsistency; and of consequence he was an object of contempt, and was held as such even by his slaves. The luxury of having slaves of his own to wait upon him was something new and unprepared for. He was a slaveholder without the ability to hold slaves. He found himself incapable of managing his slaves either by force, fear, or fraud. We seldom called him “master;” we generally called him “Captain Auld,” and were hardly disposed to title him at all. I doubt not that our conduct had much to do with making him appear awkward, and of consequence fretful. Our want of reverence for him must have perplexed him greatly. He wished to have us call him master, but lacked the firmness necessary to command us to do so. His wife used to insist upon our calling him so, but to no purpose. In August, 1832, my master attended a Methodist camp-meeting held in the Bay-side, Talbot county, and there experienced religion. I indulged a faint hope that his conversion would lead him to emancipate his slaves, and that, if he did not do this, it would, at any rate, make him more kind and humane. I was disappointed in both these respects. It neither made him to be humane to his slaves, nor to emancipate them. If it had any effect on his character, it made him more cruel and hateful in all his ways; for I believe him to have been a much worse man after his conversion than before. Prior to his conversion, he relied upon his own depravity to shield and sustain him in his savage barbarity; but after his conversion, he found religious sanction and support for his slaveholding cruelty. He made the greatest pretensions to piety. His house was the house of prayer. He prayed morning, noon, and night. He very soon distinguished himself among his brethren, and was soon made a class-leader and exhorter. His activity in revivals was great, and he proved himself an instrument in the hands of the church in converting many souls. His house was the preachers’ home. They used to take great pleasure in coming there to put up; for while he starved us, he stuffed them. We have had three or four preachers there at a time. The names of those who used to come most frequently while I lived there, were Mr. Storks, Mr. Ewery, Mr. Humphry, and Mr. Hickey. I have also seen Mr. George Cookman at our house. We slaves loved Mr. Cookman. We believed him to be a good man. We thought him instrumental in getting Mr. Samuel Harrison, a very rich slaveholder, to emancipate his slaves; and by some means got the impression that he was laboring to effect the emancipation of all the slaves. When he was at our house, we were sure to be called in to prayers. When the others were there, we were sometimes called in and sometimes not. Mr. Cookman took more notice of us than either of the other ministers. He could not come among us without betraying his sympathy for us, and, stupid as we were, we had the sagacity to see it.

As bad as all slaveholders are, we rarely encounter one completely lacking in any traits that earn respect. My master was one of those rare exceptions. I don't know of a single kind act he ever did. His main characteristic was meanness, and any other qualities he had were overshadowed by that. He was mean, and like most mean people, he couldn't hide it. Captain Auld wasn't born a slaveholder; he used to be a poor man, just in charge of a small boat. He got all his slaves through marriage, and of all people, those who become slaveholders through marriage are the worst. He was cruel but cowardly. He ordered around his slaves without any real authority. Sometimes he enforced his rules strictly, other times he was lax. At times, he spoke to his slaves with the firmness of a military leader and the anger of a monster; at other times, he seemed more like a lost person asking for directions. He didn't take any initiative. He might have been mistaken for a lion, except for his ears. In all his attempts at nobility, his meanness was glaringly obvious. His demeanor, words, and actions were those of someone trying to fit the role of a slaveholder, and they were awkward. He wasn't even a good impersonator. He had all the desire to deceive but lacked the skill. Lacking any real resources, he had to imitate others, and in doing so, he became a victim of inconsistency; as a result, he was a figure of contempt, even among his slaves. The luxury of having his own slaves waiting on him was new and unanticipated for him. He was a slaveholder without the ability to manage them effectively through force, fear, or deceit. We rarely called him “master”; we usually referred to him as “Captain Auld,” and often didn’t use any title at all. I have no doubt that our attitude contributed to his awkwardness, making him irritable. Our lack of respect must have confused him a lot. He wanted us to call him master but didn’t have the authority to demand it. His wife insisted we call him that, but it had no effect. In August 1832, my master went to a Methodist camp meeting by the bay in Talbot County, where he found religion. I hoped that his conversion would make him free his slaves or at least make him kinder and more humane. I was disappointed on both counts. It did not make him kind to his slaves or lead him to free them. If it changed him at all, it made him crueler and more hateful in all his actions; I believe he became a worse man after he converted. Before his conversion, he relied on his own moral failings to justify his brutal behavior, but afterward, he found religious justification for his cruelty as a slaveholder. He pretended to be very pious. His house was a place of prayer. He prayed morning, noon, and night. He quickly made a name for himself among his peers and became a class leader and exhorter. His involvement in religious revivals was high, and he played a part in the church's efforts to convert many people. His house was a place for preachers. They enjoyed coming there to stay because, while he starved us, he fed them well. We often had three or four preachers with us at a time. The ones who frequented our home during my time there included Mr. Storks, Mr. Ewery, Mr. Humphry, and Mr. Hickey. I also saw Mr. George Cookman at our house. We slaves really liked Mr. Cookman. We believed he was a good man. We thought he played a role in getting Mr. Samuel Harrison, a very wealthy slaveholder, to free his slaves, and somehow we got the impression he was working to liberate all the slaves. When he visited our house, we were always invited to join in prayer. When the other preachers were there, we were sometimes invited in and sometimes not. Mr. Cookman paid more attention to us than the other ministers. He couldn't be around us without showing his sympathy, and even though we were not very savvy, we could pick up on it.

While I lived with my master in St. Michael’s, there was a white young man, a Mr. Wilson, who proposed to keep a Sabbath school for the instruction of such slaves as might be disposed to learn to read the New Testament. We met but three times, when Mr. West and Mr. Fairbanks, both class-leaders, with many others, came upon us with sticks and other missiles, drove us off, and forbade us to meet again. Thus ended our little Sabbath school in the pious town of St. Michael’s.

While I was living with my master in St. Michael’s, there was a young white man, Mr. Wilson, who wanted to start a Sabbath school to teach any slaves who wanted to learn to read the New Testament. We only met three times before Mr. West and Mr. Fairbanks, both class leaders, along with many others, came at us with sticks and other weapons, drove us away, and told us we couldn't meet again. That's how our little Sabbath school in the devout town of St. Michael’s came to an end.

I have said my master found religious sanction for his cruelty. As an example, I will state one of many facts going to prove the charge. I have seen him tie up a lame young woman, and whip her with a heavy cowskin upon her naked shoulders, causing the warm red blood to drip; and, in justification of the bloody deed, he would quote this passage of Scripture—“He that knoweth his master’s will, and doeth it not, shall be beaten with many stripes.”

I’ve mentioned that my master justified his cruelty with religion. To illustrate, I’ll share one of many incidents that support this claim. I saw him tie up a young woman who was lame and whip her with a heavy cowskin on her bare shoulders, making her warm red blood drip; and to justify this violent act, he would quote this Bible passage—“He who knows his master’s will and doesn’t do it will be beaten with many stripes.”

Master would keep this lacerated young woman tied up in this horrid situation four or five hours at a time. I have known him to tie her up early in the morning, and whip her before breakfast; leave her, go to his store, return at dinner, and whip her again, cutting her in the places already made raw with his cruel lash. The secret of master’s cruelty toward “Henny” is found in the fact of her being almost helpless. When quite a child, she fell into the fire, and burned herself horribly. Her hands were so burnt that she never got the use of them. She could do very little but bear heavy burdens. She was to master a bill of expense; and as he was a mean man, she was a constant offence to him. He seemed desirous of getting the poor girl out of existence. He gave her away once to his sister; but, being a poor gift, she was not disposed to keep her. Finally, my benevolent master, to use his own words, “set her adrift to take care of herself.” Here was a recently-converted man, holding on upon the mother, and at the same time turning out her helpless child, to starve and die! Master Thomas was one of the many pious slaveholders who hold slaves for the very charitable purpose of taking care of them.

Master would keep this injured young woman tied up in this terrible situation for four or five hours at a time. I’ve seen him tie her up early in the morning and whip her before breakfast; then leave for his store, come back at dinner, and whip her again, cutting her in the same places that were already raw from his cruel lash. The reason for Master’s cruelty toward “Henny” lies in her being almost helpless. When she was just a child, she fell into the fire and burned herself badly. Her hands were so burned that she never regained use of them. She could do very little except carry heavy loads. To Master, she was just a source of expense, and since he was a mean man, she was constantly a source of annoyance to him. He seemed to want to get rid of the poor girl entirely. He once gave her to his sister, but because she was such a poor gift, his sister didn’t want to keep her. In the end, my so-called “benevolent” master, to use his own words, “set her adrift to take care of herself.” Here was a man who had recently found religion, clinging to the mother while at the same time casting out her helpless child to starve and die! Master Thomas was one of many pious slaveholders who keep slaves for the very charitable purpose of taking care of them.

My master and myself had quite a number of differences. He found me unsuitable to his purpose. My city life, he said, had had a very pernicious effect upon me. It had almost ruined me for every good purpose, and fitted me for every thing which was bad. One of my greatest faults was that of letting his horse run away, and go down to his father-in-law’s farm, which was about five miles from St. Michael’s. I would then have to go after it. My reason for this kind of carelessness, or carefulness, was, that I could always get something to eat when I went there. Master William Hamilton, my master’s father-in-law, always gave his slaves enough to eat. I never left there hungry, no matter how great the need of my speedy return. Master Thomas at length said he would stand it no longer. I had lived with him nine months, during which time he had given me a number of severe whippings, all to no good purpose. He resolved to put me out, as he said, to be broken; and, for this purpose, he let me for one year to a man named Edward Covey. Mr. Covey was a poor man, a farm-renter. He rented the place upon which he lived, as also the hands with which he tilled it. Mr. Covey had acquired a very high reputation for breaking young slaves, and this reputation was of immense value to him. It enabled him to get his farm tilled with much less expense to himself than he could have had it done without such a reputation. Some slaveholders thought it not much loss to allow Mr. Covey to have their slaves one year, for the sake of the training to which they were subjected, without any other compensation. He could hire young help with great ease, in consequence of this reputation. Added to the natural good qualities of Mr. Covey, he was a professor of religion—a pious soul—a member and a class-leader in the Methodist church. All of this added weight to his reputation as a “nigger-breaker.” I was aware of all the facts, having been made acquainted with them by a young man who had lived there. I nevertheless made the change gladly; for I was sure of getting enough to eat, which is not the smallest consideration to a hungry man.

My master and I had many differences. He found me unsuitable for what he needed. He said that my city life had a really negative impact on me. It had almost ruined me for anything good and made me fit for everything bad. One of my biggest mistakes was letting his horse run away and go down to his father-in-law’s farm, which was about five miles from St. Michael’s. I would then have to go after it. The reason for this kind of carelessness—or perhaps carefulness—was that I could always get something to eat when I went there. Master William Hamilton, my master’s father-in-law, always made sure his slaves had enough to eat. I never left there hungry, no matter how urgent it was for me to return. Finally, Master Thomas said he couldn’t take it anymore. I had lived with him for nine months, during which time he had given me several harsh whippings, all of which did no good. He decided to send me away, as he put it, to be broken, and for this, he placed me for one year with a man named Edward Covey. Mr. Covey was a poor man who rented a farm. He rented both the land he lived on and the laborers who worked it. Mr. Covey had built a strong reputation for breaking young slaves, and this reputation was extremely valuable to him. It allowed him to get his farm worked for much less than it would have cost him without such a reputation. Some slaveholders thought it was no big loss to let Mr. Covey take their slaves for a year for the sake of the training they received, without any other compensation. He could easily hire young help because of this reputation. On top of Mr. Covey’s natural good qualities, he was a religious man—a devout soul—a member and class leader in the Methodist church. All of this added to his reputation as a “nigger-breaker.” I knew all this, having learned it from a young man who had lived there. Still, I accepted the change happily because I was sure I would get enough to eat, which is not a small thing for a hungry man.

CHAPTER X

I had left Master Thomas’s house, and went to live with Mr. Covey, on the 1st of January, 1833. I was now, for the first time in my life, a field hand. In my new employment, I found myself even more awkward than a country boy appeared to be in a large city. I had been at my new home but one week before Mr. Covey gave me a very severe whipping, cutting my back, causing the blood to run, and raising ridges on my flesh as large as my little finger. The details of this affair are as follows: Mr. Covey sent me, very early in the morning of one of our coldest days in the month of January, to the woods, to get a load of wood. He gave me a team of unbroken oxen. He told me which was the in-hand ox, and which the off-hand one. He then tied the end of a large rope around the horns of the in-hand ox, and gave me the other end of it, and told me, if the oxen started to run, that I must hold on upon the rope. I had never driven oxen before, and of course I was very awkward. I, however, succeeded in getting to the edge of the woods with little difficulty; but I had got a very few rods into the woods, when the oxen took fright, and started full tilt, carrying the cart against trees, and over stumps, in the most frightful manner. I expected every moment that my brains would be dashed out against the trees. After running thus for a considerable distance, they finally upset the cart, dashing it with great force against a tree, and threw themselves into a dense thicket. How I escaped death, I do not know. There I was, entirely alone, in a thick wood, in a place new to me. My cart was upset and shattered, my oxen were entangled among the young trees, and there was none to help me. After a long spell of effort, I succeeded in getting my cart righted, my oxen disentangled, and again yoked to the cart. I now proceeded with my team to the place where I had, the day before, been chopping wood, and loaded my cart pretty heavily, thinking in this way to tame my oxen. I then proceeded on my way home. I had now consumed one half of the day. I got out of the woods safely, and now felt out of danger. I stopped my oxen to open the woods gate; and just as I did so, before I could get hold of my ox-rope, the oxen again started, rushed through the gate, catching it between the wheel and the body of the cart, tearing it to pieces, and coming within a few inches of crushing me against the gate-post. Thus twice, in one short day, I escaped death by the merest chance. On my return, I told Mr. Covey what had happened, and how it happened. He ordered me to return to the woods again immediately. I did so, and he followed on after me. Just as I got into the woods, he came up and told me to stop my cart, and that he would teach me how to trifle away my time, and break gates. He then went to a large gum-tree, and with his axe cut three large switches, and, after trimming them up neatly with his pocketknife, he ordered me to take off my clothes. I made him no answer, but stood with my clothes on. He repeated his order. I still made him no answer, nor did I move to strip myself. Upon this he rushed at me with the fierceness of a tiger, tore off my clothes, and lashed me till he had worn out his switches, cutting me so savagely as to leave the marks visible for a long time after. This whipping was the first of a number just like it, and for similar offences.

I left Master Thomas’s house and moved in with Mr. Covey on January 1, 1833. For the first time in my life, I was a field hand. In this new job, I felt even more clumsy than a country boy in a big city. I had only been at my new home for a week when Mr. Covey gave me a brutal whipping, cutting my back, making me bleed, and leaving welts on my skin as big as my little finger. Here’s what happened: Mr. Covey sent me out early one of the coldest mornings in January to get a load of wood. He gave me a team of untrained oxen, telling me which was the leading ox and which was the trailing one. He tied a long rope around the horns of the leading ox and handed me the other end, instructing me to hold on if the oxen started to run. I had never driven oxen before, so I was pretty awkward. Still, I managed to get to the edge of the woods without much trouble, but just a short distance in, the oxen got scared and bolted, crashing the cart into trees and over stumps in a terrifying way. I thought I would be thrown against the trees at any moment. After running for quite a while, they finally tipped the cart over hard against a tree and stumbled into a thick underbrush. I have no idea how I didn’t die. There I was, completely alone in a forest that was unfamiliar to me. My cart was overturned and destroyed, the oxen were tangled in the young trees, and there was no one there to help me. After a long struggle, I managed to right the cart, free the oxen, and reattach them to the cart. I decided to take them back to where I had been chopping wood the day before and loaded my cart pretty heavily, thinking this might calm my oxen down. I then continued on my way home. At this point, half the day was gone. I got out of the woods safely and felt I was in the clear. I stopped my oxen to open the gate, and just as I did this, before I could grab the rope, the oxen took off again, bursting through the gate, catching it between the wheel and the cart, ripping it to shreds, and barely missing crushing me against the gate post. Twice in one short day, I narrowly escaped death. When I returned, I told Mr. Covey what had happened. He ordered me to go back into the woods immediately. I did, and he followed me. Just as I entered the woods, he caught up and told me to stop the cart, saying he would teach me how to waste my time and break gates. He then approached a large gum tree, cut three thick switches with his axe, and neatly trimmed them with his pocketknife before ordering me to take off my clothes. I didn’t respond and just stood there dressed. He repeated his order. I still didn’t answer or move to strip. Then he lunged at me like a tiger, tore off my clothes, and whipped me until he wore out his switches, cutting me so brutally that the marks were visible for a long time afterward. This whipping was the first of many similar ones for similar offenses.

I lived with Mr. Covey one year. During the first six months, of that year, scarce a week passed without his whipping me. I was seldom free from a sore back. My awkwardness was almost always his excuse for whipping me. We were worked fully up to the point of endurance. Long before day we were up, our horses fed, and by the first approach of day we were off to the field with our hoes and ploughing teams. Mr. Covey gave us enough to eat, but scarce time to eat it. We were often less than five minutes taking our meals. We were often in the field from the first approach of day till its last lingering ray had left us; and at saving-fodder time, midnight often caught us in the field binding blades.

I lived with Mr. Covey for a year. During the first six months of that year, hardly a week went by without him whipping me. I was rarely free from a sore back. My clumsiness was almost always his justification for beating me. We were pushed to our limits. Long before dawn, we were up, our horses fed, and by the first light, we headed to the fields with our hoes and plowing teams. Mr. Covey provided us enough to eat, but hardly any time to eat it. We often spent less than five minutes on our meals. We were frequently in the fields from dawn until the last fading light left us; and during harvest time, midnight often found us in the fields tying up blades.

Covey would be out with us. The way he used to stand it, was this. He would spend the most of his afternoons in bed. He would then come out fresh in the evening, ready to urge us on with his words, example, and frequently with the whip. Mr. Covey was one of the few slaveholders who could and did work with his hands. He was a hard-working man. He knew by himself just what a man or a boy could do. There was no deceiving him. His work went on in his absence almost as well as in his presence; and he had the faculty of making us feel that he was ever present with us. This he did by surprising us. He seldom approached the spot where we were at work openly, if he could do it secretly. He always aimed at taking us by surprise. Such was his cunning, that we used to call him, among ourselves, “the snake.” When we were at work in the cornfield, he would sometimes crawl on his hands and knees to avoid detection, and all at once he would rise nearly in our midst, and scream out, “Ha, ha! Come, come! Dash on, dash on!” This being his mode of attack, it was never safe to stop a single minute. His comings were like a thief in the night. He appeared to us as being ever at hand. He was under every tree, behind every stump, in every bush, and at every window, on the plantation. He would sometimes mount his horse, as if bound to St. Michael’s, a distance of seven miles, and in half an hour afterwards you would see him coiled up in the corner of the wood-fence, watching every motion of the slaves. He would, for this purpose, leave his horse tied up in the woods. Again, he would sometimes walk up to us, and give us orders as though he was upon the point of starting on a long journey, turn his back upon us, and make as though he was going to the house to get ready; and, before he would get half way thither, he would turn short and crawl into a fence-corner, or behind some tree, and there watch us till the going down of the sun.

Covey would be out with us. The way he handled it was like this: he spent most of his afternoons in bed. Then he would come out fresh in the evening, ready to motivate us with his words, example, and often with the whip. Mr. Covey was one of the few slaveholders who could and did work alongside us. He was a hard worker. He knew exactly what a man or a boy could do. There was no tricking him. His work continued almost as smoothly in his absence as it did in his presence; he had a way of making us feel like he was always watching. He did this by surprising us. He rarely approached us openly while we were working if he could do it secretly. He always aimed to catch us off guard. We even referred to him among ourselves as “the snake.” When we were working in the cornfield, he would sometimes crawl on his hands and knees to avoid being seen, and suddenly he would stand up right in our midst and yell, “Ha, ha! Come on, come on! Keep going, keep going!” Since this was his way of attacking, it was never safe to stop for even a minute. His arrivals were like a thief in the night. It felt like he was always nearby. He seemed to be under every tree, behind every stump, in every bush, and at every window on the plantation. Sometimes he would ride his horse as if heading to St. Michael’s, seven miles away, and then half an hour later, you’d see him hiding in the corner of the wood-fence, watching every move we made. For this, he would leave his horse tied up in the woods. At other times, he would walk up to us and give orders as if he was about to leave for a long journey, then turn his back and pretend to head to the house to get ready; before he reached halfway there, he would suddenly turn around and sneak into a corner of the fence or behind a tree, where he would watch us until sunset.

Mr. Covey’s forte consisted in his power to deceive. His life was devoted to planning and perpetrating the grossest deceptions. Every thing he possessed in the shape of learning or religion, he made conform to his disposition to deceive. He seemed to think himself equal to deceiving the Almighty. He would make a short prayer in the morning, and a long prayer at night; and, strange as it may seem, few men would at times appear more devotional than he. The exercises of his family devotions were always commenced with singing; and, as he was a very poor singer himself, the duty of raising the hymn generally came upon me. He would read his hymn, and nod at me to commence. I would at times do so; at others, I would not. My non-compliance would almost always produce much confusion. To show himself independent of me, he would start and stagger through with his hymn in the most discordant manner. In this state of mind, he prayed with more than ordinary spirit. Poor man! such was his disposition, and success at deceiving, I do verily believe that he sometimes deceived himself into the solemn belief, that he was a sincere worshipper of the most high God; and this, too, at a time when he may be said to have been guilty of compelling his woman slave to commit the sin of adultery. The facts in the case are these: Mr. Covey was a poor man; he was just commencing in life; he was only able to buy one slave; and, shocking as is the fact, he bought her, as he said, for a breeder. This woman was named Caroline. Mr. Covey bought her from Mr. Thomas Lowe, about six miles from St. Michael’s. She was a large, able-bodied woman, about twenty years old. She had already given birth to one child, which proved her to be just what he wanted. After buying her, he hired a married man of Mr. Samuel Harrison, to live with him one year; and him he used to fasten up with her every night! The result was, that, at the end of the year, the miserable woman gave birth to twins. At this result Mr. Covey seemed to be highly pleased, both with the man and the wretched woman. Such was his joy, and that of his wife, that nothing they could do for Caroline during her confinement was too good, or too hard, to be done. The children were regarded as being quite an addition to his wealth.

Mr. Covey’s strength lay in his ability to deceive. His life revolved around planning and carrying out the most outrageous lies. Everything he knew about learning or religion was twisted to support his inclination to deceive. He even seemed to believe he could fool the Almighty. Every morning he would say a short prayer and a long one at night; oddly enough, few men could appear more devout than he did at times. Family prayers always started with singing, and since he was a terrible singer, the task of leading the hymn usually fell to me. He would read the hymn and nod at me to start. Sometimes I would, and other times I wouldn’t. When I refused, it often caused chaos. To show that he didn’t need me, he would begin to sing the hymn himself in the most off-key way. In this state of mind, he prayed with an extra dose of fervor. Poor man! Given his nature and knack for deception, I truly believe he sometimes tricked himself into thinking he was a genuine worshipper of the most high God; this was at a time when he was forcing his female slave to commit adultery. The facts are these: Mr. Covey was a poor man just starting out in life. He could only afford to buy one slave, and shockingly, he bought her specifically as a breeder. This woman was named Caroline. Mr. Covey purchased her from Mr. Thomas Lowe, about six miles from St. Michael’s. She was a large, capable woman, around twenty years old. She had already given birth to one child, proving to be just what he wanted. After buying her, he hired a married man from Mr. Samuel Harrison to live with him for a year; he used to lock that man up with her every night! As a result, after a year, the unfortunate woman gave birth to twins. Mr. Covey seemed very pleased with both the man and the miserable woman. He and his wife were so overjoyed that they would do anything, no matter how good or how hard, for Caroline during her difficult time. The children were seen as a significant increase to his wealth.

If at any one time of my life more than another, I was made to drink the bitterest dregs of slavery, that time was during the first six months of my stay with Mr. Covey. We were worked in all weathers. It was never too hot or too cold; it could never rain, blow, hail, or snow, too hard for us to work in the field. Work, work, work, was scarcely more the order of the day than of the night. The longest days were too short for him, and the shortest nights too long for him. I was somewhat unmanageable when I first went there, but a few months of this discipline tamed me. Mr. Covey succeeded in breaking me. I was broken in body, soul, and spirit. My natural elasticity was crushed, my intellect languished, the disposition to read departed, the cheerful spark that lingered about my eye died; the dark night of slavery closed in upon me; and behold a man transformed into a brute!

If there was a time in my life when I had to endure the harshest parts of slavery, it was during the first six months I spent with Mr. Covey. We worked through all kinds of weather. It was never too hot or too cold; it could never rain, blow, hail, or snow hard enough to keep us out of the fields. Work, work, work, was just as much the routine at night as it was during the day. The longest days were still too short for him, and the shortest nights felt too long. I was somewhat rebellious when I first arrived, but after a few months of this treatment, I was tamed. Mr. Covey managed to break me. I was broken in body, soul, and spirit. My natural resilience was crushed, my mind withered, my desire to read disappeared, and the spark of joy in my eyes faded; the dark night of slavery closed in on me, and there I was, a man turned into a beast!

Sunday was my only leisure time. I spent this in a sort of beast-like stupor, between sleep and wake, under some large tree. At times I would rise up, a flash of energetic freedom would dart through my soul, accompanied with a faint beam of hope, that flickered for a moment, and then vanished. I sank down again, mourning over my wretched condition. I was sometimes prompted to take my life, and that of Covey, but was prevented by a combination of hope and fear. My sufferings on this plantation seem now like a dream rather than a stern reality.

Sunday was my only free time. I spent it in a kind of dull daze, caught between sleeping and waking, under a big tree. Sometimes I would suddenly feel a rush of energy and a flicker of hope, but it would only last a moment before fading away. I would sink back down, feeling sorry for my miserable situation. There were times I thought about ending my life, and Covey's too, but something inside me—both hope and fear—held me back. My suffering on this plantation now feels more like a dream than a harsh reality.

Our house stood within a few rods of the Chesapeake Bay, whose broad bosom was ever white with sails from every quarter of the habitable globe. Those beautiful vessels, robed in purest white, so delightful to the eye of freemen, were to me so many shrouded ghosts, to terrify and torment me with thoughts of my wretched condition. I have often, in the deep stillness of a summer’s Sabbath, stood all alone upon the lofty banks of that noble bay, and traced, with saddened heart and tearful eye, the countless number of sails moving off to the mighty ocean. The sight of these always affected me powerfully. My thoughts would compel utterance; and there, with no audience but the Almighty, I would pour out my soul’s complaint, in my rude way, with an apostrophe to the moving multitude of ships:—

Our house was just a short distance from the Chesapeake Bay, which was always filled with white sails from all over the world. Those beautiful ships, draped in pure white, were a joy to the eyes of free people, but to me, they were like ghostly figures, haunting and tormenting me with reminders of my miserable situation. Many times, in the deep quiet of a summer Sunday, I stood alone on the tall banks of that majestic bay, watching with a heavy heart and tearful eyes as countless sails headed off to the vast ocean. The sight of them always had a strong impact on me. My thoughts would spill out; and there, with no one to listen but the Almighty, I would express my soul's pain in my own way, addressing the moving crowd of ships:—

“You are loosed from your moorings, and are free; I am fast in my chains, and am a slave! You move merrily before the gentle gale, and I sadly before the bloody whip! You are freedom’s swift-winged angels, that fly round the world; I am confined in bands of iron! O that I were free! O, that I were on one of your gallant decks, and under your protecting wing! Alas! betwixt me and you, the turbid waters roll. Go on, go on. O that I could also go! Could I but swim! If I could fly! O, why was I born a man, of whom to make a brute! The glad ship is gone; she hides in the dim distance. I am left in the hottest hell of unending slavery. O God, save me! God, deliver me! Let me be free! Is there any God? Why am I a slave? I will run away. I will not stand it. Get caught, or get clear, I’ll try it. I had as well die with ague as the fever. I have only one life to lose. I had as well be killed running as die standing. Only think of it; one hundred miles straight north, and I am free! Try it? Yes! God helping me, I will. It cannot be that I shall live and die a slave. I will take to the water. This very bay shall yet bear me into freedom. The steamboats steered in a north-east course from North Point. I will do the same; and when I get to the head of the bay, I will turn my canoe adrift, and walk straight through Delaware into Pennsylvania. When I get there, I shall not be required to have a pass; I can travel without being disturbed. Let but the first opportunity offer, and, come what will, I am off. Meanwhile, I will try to bear up under the yoke. I am not the only slave in the world. Why should I fret? I can bear as much as any of them. Besides, I am but a boy, and all boys are bound to some one. It may be that my misery in slavery will only increase my happiness when I get free. There is a better day coming.”

“You are untethered and free; I am stuck in chains and a slave! You sail happily with the gentle breeze, while I suffer under the harsh whip! You are freedom’s swift-winged angels flying around the world; I am trapped in iron shackles! Oh, how I wish I were free! Oh, to be on one of your bold ships, under your protective wing! Alas! Between me and you, the murky waters roll. Keep going, keep going. Oh, how I wish I could join you! If only I could swim! If only I could fly! Oh, why was I born a man, only to be treated like a beast! The joyful ship has gone; it’s fading into the distance. I’m stuck in the scorching hell of endless slavery. Oh God, save me! God, deliver me! Let me be free! Is there even a God? Why am I a slave? I will run away. I won’t endure this anymore. Whether I get caught or break free, I’ll attempt it. I’d rather die from ague than fever. I only have one life to lose. I’d rather be killed while trying to escape than die standing still. Just think about it; a hundred miles due north, and I’m free! Should I try it? Yes! With God’s help, I will. It can’t be that I’ll live and die a slave. I’ll take to the water. This very bay will carry me to freedom. The steamboats are taking a northeast route from North Point. I’ll do the same; when I reach the head of the bay, I’ll set my canoe adrift and walk straight through Delaware into Pennsylvania. Once I’m there, I won’t need a pass; I can travel without being disturbed. Just let the first opportunity arise, and whatever happens, I’m off. In the meantime, I’ll try to bear this burden. I’m not the only slave in the world. Why should I be upset? I can endure as much as any of them. Besides, I’m just a boy, and all boys are bound to someone. Maybe my suffering in slavery will make my happiness even greater once I’m free. A better day is coming.”

Thus I used to think, and thus I used to speak to myself; goaded almost to madness at one moment, and at the next reconciling myself to my wretched lot.

So I used to think, and I would say to myself; pushed almost to madness one moment, and then the next, coming to terms with my miserable situation.

I have already intimated that my condition was much worse, during the first six months of my stay at Mr. Covey’s, than in the last six. The circumstances leading to the change in Mr. Covey’s course toward me form an epoch in my humble history. You have seen how a man was made a slave; you shall see how a slave was made a man. On one of the hottest days of the month of August, 1833, Bill Smith, William Hughes, a slave named Eli, and myself, were engaged in fanning wheat. Hughes was clearing the fanned wheat from before the fan. Eli was turning, Smith was feeding, and I was carrying wheat to the fan. The work was simple, requiring strength rather than intellect; yet, to one entirely unused to such work, it came very hard. About three o’clock of that day, I broke down; my strength failed me; I was seized with a violent aching of the head, attended with extreme dizziness; I trembled in every limb. Finding what was coming, I nerved myself up, feeling it would never do to stop work. I stood as long as I could stagger to the hopper with grain. When I could stand no longer, I fell, and felt as if held down by an immense weight. The fan of course stopped; every one had his own work to do; and no one could do the work of the other, and have his own go on at the same time.

I’ve mentioned before that my situation was much worse during the first six months of my time at Mr. Covey’s than in the last six. The events that led to the change in Mr. Covey’s attitude toward me mark a significant moment in my humble story. You’ve seen how a person was turned into a slave; now you’ll see how a slave became a man. On one of the hottest days in August 1833, Bill Smith, William Hughes, a slave named Eli, and I were busy fanning wheat. Hughes was clearing the fanned wheat from in front of the fan. Eli was turning, Smith was feeding, and I was carrying wheat to the fan. The work was straightforward, needing more strength than smarts; still, to someone totally unaccustomed to such labor, it was incredibly tough. Around three o'clock that day, I broke down; my strength gave out, I was hit with a terrible headache, accompanied by severe dizziness, and I shook all over. Sensing what was about to happen, I pushed myself to keep going, knowing I couldn’t just stop. I stood as long as I could stagger to the hopper with grain. When I could no longer stand, I collapsed, feeling as if something heavy was pressing down on me. The fan naturally stopped; everyone had their own tasks to focus on, and no one could do someone else’s work while keeping their own task going.

Mr. Covey was at the house, about one hundred yards from the treading-yard where we were fanning. On hearing the fan stop, he left immediately, and came to the spot where we were. He hastily inquired what the matter was. Bill answered that I was sick, and there was no one to bring wheat to the fan. I had by this time crawled away under the side of the post and rail-fence by which the yard was enclosed, hoping to find relief by getting out of the sun. He then asked where I was. He was told by one of the hands. He came to the spot, and, after looking at me awhile, asked me what was the matter. I told him as well as I could, for I scarce had strength to speak. He then gave me a savage kick in the side, and told me to get up. I tried to do so, but fell back in the attempt. He gave me another kick, and again told me to rise. I again tried, and succeeded in gaining my feet; but, stooping to get the tub with which I was feeding the fan, I again staggered and fell. While down in this situation, Mr. Covey took up the hickory slat with which Hughes had been striking off the half-bushel measure, and with it gave me a heavy blow upon the head, making a large wound, and the blood ran freely; and with this again told me to get up. I made no effort to comply, having now made up my mind to let him do his worst. In a short time after receiving this blow, my head grew better. Mr. Covey had now left me to my fate. At this moment I resolved, for the first time, to go to my master, enter a complaint, and ask his protection. In order to do this, I must that afternoon walk seven miles; and this, under the circumstances, was truly a severe undertaking. I was exceedingly feeble; made so as much by the kicks and blows which I received, as by the severe fit of sickness to which I had been subjected. I, however, watched my chance, while Covey was looking in an opposite direction, and started for St. Michael’s. I succeeded in getting a considerable distance on my way to the woods, when Covey discovered me, and called after me to come back, threatening what he would do if I did not come. I disregarded both his calls and his threats, and made my way to the woods as fast as my feeble state would allow; and thinking I might be overhauled by him if I kept the road, I walked through the woods, keeping far enough from the road to avoid detection, and near enough to prevent losing my way. I had not gone far before my little strength again failed me. I could go no farther. I fell down, and lay for a considerable time. The blood was yet oozing from the wound on my head. For a time I thought I should bleed to death; and think now that I should have done so, but that the blood so matted my hair as to stop the wound. After lying there about three quarters of an hour, I nerved myself up again, and started on my way, through bogs and briers, barefooted and bareheaded, tearing my feet sometimes at nearly every step; and after a journey of about seven miles, occupying some five hours to perform it, I arrived at master’s store. I then presented an appearance enough to affect any but a heart of iron. From the crown of my head to my feet, I was covered with blood. My hair was all clotted with dust and blood; my shirt was stiff with blood. I suppose I looked like a man who had escaped a den of wild beasts, and barely escaped them. In this state I appeared before my master, humbly entreating him to interpose his authority for my protection. I told him all the circumstances as well as I could, and it seemed, as I spoke, at times to affect him. He would then walk the floor, and seek to justify Covey by saying he expected I deserved it. He asked me what I wanted. I told him, to let me get a new home; that as sure as I lived with Mr. Covey again, I should live with but to die with him; that Covey would surely kill me; he was in a fair way for it. Master Thomas ridiculed the idea that there was any danger of Mr. Covey’s killing me, and said that he knew Mr. Covey; that he was a good man, and that he could not think of taking me from him; that, should he do so, he would lose the whole year’s wages; that I belonged to Mr. Covey for one year, and that I must go back to him, come what might; and that I must not trouble him with any more stories, or that he would himself get hold of me. After threatening me thus, he gave me a very large dose of salts, telling me that I might remain in St. Michael’s that night, (it being quite late,) but that I must be off back to Mr. Covey’s early in the morning; and that if I did not, he would get hold of me, which meant that he would whip me. I remained all night, and, according to his orders, I started off to Covey’s in the morning, (Saturday morning,) wearied in body and broken in spirit. I got no supper that night, or breakfast that morning. I reached Covey’s about nine o’clock; and just as I was getting over the fence that divided Mrs. Kemp’s fields from ours, out ran Covey with his cowskin, to give me another whipping. Before he could reach me, I succeeded in getting to the cornfield; and as the corn was very high, it afforded me the means of hiding. He seemed very angry, and searched for me a long time. My behavior was altogether unaccountable. He finally gave up the chase, thinking, I suppose, that I must come home for something to eat; he would give himself no further trouble in looking for me. I spent that day mostly in the woods, having the alternative before me,—to go home and be whipped to death, or stay in the woods and be starved to death. That night, I fell in with Sandy Jenkins, a slave with whom I was somewhat acquainted. Sandy had a free wife who lived about four miles from Mr. Covey’s; and it being Saturday, he was on his way to see her. I told him my circumstances, and he very kindly invited me to go home with him. I went home with him, and talked this whole matter over, and got his advice as to what course it was best for me to pursue. I found Sandy an old adviser. He told me, with great solemnity, I must go back to Covey; but that before I went, I must go with him into another part of the woods, where there was a certain root, which, if I would take some of it with me, carrying it always on my right side, would render it impossible for Mr. Covey, or any other white man, to whip me. He said he had carried it for years; and since he had done so, he had never received a blow, and never expected to while he carried it. I at first rejected the idea, that the simple carrying of a root in my pocket would have any such effect as he had said, and was not disposed to take it; but Sandy impressed the necessity with much earnestness, telling me it could do no harm, if it did no good. To please him, I at length took the root, and, according to his direction, carried it upon my right side. This was Sunday morning. I immediately started for home; and upon entering the yard gate, out came Mr. Covey on his way to meeting. He spoke to me very kindly, bade me drive the pigs from a lot near by, and passed on towards the church. Now, this singular conduct of Mr. Covey really made me begin to think that there was something in the root which Sandy had given me; and had it been on any other day than Sunday, I could have attributed the conduct to no other cause than the influence of that root; and as it was, I was half inclined to think the root to be something more than I at first had taken it to be. All went well till Monday morning. On this morning, the virtue of the root was fully tested. Long before daylight, I was called to go and rub, curry, and feed, the horses. I obeyed, and was glad to obey. But whilst thus engaged, whilst in the act of throwing down some blades from the loft, Mr. Covey entered the stable with a long rope; and just as I was half out of the loft, he caught hold of my legs, and was about tying me. As soon as I found what he was up to, I gave a sudden spring, and as I did so, he holding to my legs, I was brought sprawling on the stable floor. Mr. Covey seemed now to think he had me, and could do what he pleased; but at this moment—from whence came the spirit I don’t know—I resolved to fight; and, suiting my action to the resolution, I seized Covey hard by the throat; and as I did so, I rose. He held on to me, and I to him. My resistance was so entirely unexpected that Covey seemed taken all aback. He trembled like a leaf. This gave me assurance, and I held him uneasy, causing the blood to run where I touched him with the ends of my fingers. Mr. Covey soon called out to Hughes for help. Hughes came, and, while Covey held me, attempted to tie my right hand. While he was in the act of doing so, I watched my chance, and gave him a heavy kick close under the ribs. This kick fairly sickened Hughes, so that he left me in the hands of Mr. Covey. This kick had the effect of not only weakening Hughes, but Covey also. When he saw Hughes bending over with pain, his courage quailed. He asked me if I meant to persist in my resistance. I told him I did, come what might; that he had used me like a brute for six months, and that I was determined to be used so no longer. With that, he strove to drag me to a stick that was lying just out of the stable door. He meant to knock me down. But just as he was leaning over to get the stick, I seized him with both hands by his collar, and brought him by a sudden snatch to the ground. By this time, Bill came. Covey called upon him for assistance. Bill wanted to know what he could do. Covey said, “Take hold of him, take hold of him!” Bill said his master hired him out to work, and not to help to whip me; so he left Covey and myself to fight our own battle out. We were at it for nearly two hours. Covey at length let me go, puffing and blowing at a great rate, saying that if I had not resisted, he would not have whipped me half so much. The truth was, that he had not whipped me at all. I considered him as getting entirely the worst end of the bargain; for he had drawn no blood from me, but I had from him. The whole six months afterwards, that I spent with Mr. Covey, he never laid the weight of his finger upon me in anger. He would occasionally say, he didn’t want to get hold of me again. “No,” thought I, “you need not; for you will come off worse than you did before.”

Mr. Covey was at the house, about a hundred yards from the area where we were working. When he heard the fan stop, he came right over to see what was going on. Bill told him I was sick and there was no one to bring wheat to the fan. By then, I had crawled away under the fence surrounding the yard, hoping to find some relief from the sun. He asked where I was, and one of the workers told him. He came over, looked at me for a moment, and asked what was wrong. I explained as best as I could, but I hardly had the strength to talk. Then, he kicked me viciously in the side and ordered me to get up. I tried but fell back down. He kicked me again and insisted I rise. I tried once more and managed to get to my feet, but when I bent down to grab the tub I had been using to feed the fan, I staggered and fell again. While I was down, Mr. Covey picked up a hickory slat that Hughes had been using for measuring and struck me hard on the head, causing a large wound with blood flowing freely. He then told me to get up again. I made no attempt to comply, deciding to let him do his worst. After a short time, my head started feeling a bit better. Mr. Covey had left me to my fate. It was then that I resolved, for the first time, to go to my master, complain, and ask for his protection. To do this, I had to walk seven miles that afternoon, which was a significant challenge given the circumstances. I was extremely weak from the kicks and blows I had received, as well as from the severe illness I had endured. However, I waited for a chance when Covey was looking away and began my walk toward St. Michael’s. I managed to cover a good distance into the woods before Covey spotted me and called out to come back, threatening what he would do if I didn't. I ignored his calls and threats, moving through the woods as quickly as my weak state would allow. I stayed far enough from the road to avoid being seen but close enough to not lose my way. Before long, my remaining strength gave out. I collapsed and lay there for a considerable time. Blood was still oozing from the wound on my head. At one point, I thought I might bleed to death; I now believe I would have if the blood hadn't matted my hair, which eventually stopped the flow. After lying there for about three quarters of an hour, I managed to gather my strength and continued on my way through bogs and thorns, barefoot and bareheaded, tearing my feet nearly every step. After about seven miles, taking around five hours, I reached my master's store. I was a sight that could move anyone but a heart of stone. From head to toe, I was covered in blood. My hair was matted with dust and blood, and my shirt was stiff with it. I probably looked like someone who had escaped from a den of wild animals. In this condition, I appeared before my master, humbly asking him to use his authority to protect me. I recounted everything that had happened as clearly as I could, and it seemed to affect him at times. He would walk back and forth, trying to justify Covey, claiming I deserved the treatment. He asked what I wanted. I told him I needed a new home; that if I went back to Mr. Covey, I would either end up dying or wishing I had. I was sure Covey would kill me; he was clearly heading that way. Master Thomas laughed at the idea that Covey would kill me, insisting he knew Covey was a good man and could not consider taking me away from him. He said that if he did, he would lose a year’s wages; that I belonged to Covey for a year and had to go back, no matter what; and that I must not trouble him with any more stories or he would himself **get hold of me**. After threatening me this way, he gave me a strong dose of salts, saying I could stay in St. Michael’s that night (it was getting late) but that I had to head back to Covey’s early in the morning; and that if I didn’t, he would **get hold of me**, which meant he would whip me. I stayed the night, and, following his orders, I started back to Covey’s the next morning (Saturday morning), worn out and broken in spirit. I got no supper that night or breakfast that morning. I reached Covey’s at around nine o'clock, and just as I was climbing over the fence separating Mrs. Kemp’s fields from ours, Covey came running out with his whip to give me another beating. Before he could reach me, I managed to get to the cornfield, and since the corn was tall, I was able to hide. He seemed quite furious and searched for me for a long time. His behavior was completely unexpected. Eventually, he gave up, probably thinking I must go home for food; he didn’t want to keep looking for me. I spent most of that day in the woods, faced with the choice - go home and be whipped to death, or stay in the woods and starve. That night, I ran into Sandy Jenkins, a slave I somewhat knew. Sandy had a free wife who lived about four miles from Covey’s. Since it was Saturday, he was on his way to see her. I told him my situation, and he kindly invited me to go home with him. I went with him, talked about everything that had happened, and got his advice on what I should do next. Sandy turned out to be an old advisor. He told me, very seriously, that I had to go back to Covey, but that before I went, I should come with him to another part of the woods where there was a special **root** that, if I took some with me and carried it **always on my right side**, would make it impossible for Covey or any other white man to whip me. He said he had carried it for years; since he started, he had never been struck and never expected to while carrying it. I initially dismissed the idea that simply carrying a root could have such an effect and was reluctant to take it; but Sandy stressed its importance, saying it wouldn't hurt if it didn’t help. To please him, I finally took the root and carried it on my right side, as he advised. This was Sunday morning. I immediately headed home; when I entered the yard gate, Mr. Covey came out on his way to church. He spoke to me kindly, asked me to move the pigs from a nearby lot, and then continued on his way to the church. This strange behavior from Mr. Covey made me start to wonder if there was something magical about the **root** Sandy had given me; had it been on any other day than Sunday, I would have credited his behavior to the influence of that root. Since it was Sunday, I was somewhat inclined to believe the **root** really had some power. Everything went well until Monday morning. That morning really put the power of the **root** to the test. Long before daylight, I was called to rub, curry, and feed the horses. I obeyed and was glad to do it. But while I was busy, as I threw down some blades from the loft, Mr. Covey came into the stable with a long rope, and just as I was halfway out of the loft, he grabbed my legs, trying to tie me up. When I realized what he was doing, I made a quick jump, and since he was holding onto my legs, I was thrown sprawling onto the stable floor. Mr. Covey seemed to think he had me and could do whatever he wanted; but at that moment - I don’t know where the spirit came from - I decided to fight back; and, acting on that decision, I grabbed Covey tightly by the throat. As I did, I stood up. He held onto me, and I held onto him. My resistance was so completely unexpected that Covey seemed taken aback. He shook like a leaf. This gave me confidence, and I kept my grip, making blood run where I touched him with my fingers. Mr. Covey soon shouted for Hughes to help. Hughes came, and while Covey held me, he tried to tie my right hand. While he was doing that, I seized my chance and delivered a heavy kick just beneath his ribs. This kick made Hughes sick, causing him to leave me in Covey’s grasp. The kick weakened both Hughes and Covey. When Covey saw Hughes bent over in pain, his confidence dropped. He asked me if I was going to keep resisting. I told him yes, no matter the cost; that he had treated me like a brute for six months, and I was determined not to endure it any longer. With that, he tried to drag me toward a stick lying just outside the stable door. He intended to hit me. But just as he leaned down for the stick, I grabbed him by the collar with both hands and yanked him down to the ground. At that point, Bill arrived. Covey called out for his assistance. Bill asked what he could do. Covey shouted, “Take hold of him, take hold of him!” Bill replied that his master had hired him to work, not to help whip me, and left Covey and me to fight it out ourselves. We fought for nearly two hours. Eventually, Covey let go of me, panting heavily, saying that if I hadn't resisted, he wouldn’t have whipped me so much. The truth was that he hadn’t whipped me at all. I felt he was on the losing end of everything because he hadn’t drawn any blood from me, but I had from him. For the following six months I spent with Mr. Covey, he never laid a finger on me in anger. Occasionally, he would say he didn’t want to get hold of me again. “No,” I thought, “you don’t need to; you'd simply come off worse than you did before.”

This battle with Mr. Covey was the turning-point in my career as a slave. It rekindled the few expiring embers of freedom, and revived within me a sense of my own manhood. It recalled the departed self-confidence, and inspired me again with a determination to be free. The gratification afforded by the triumph was a full compensation for whatever else might follow, even death itself. He only can understand the deep satisfaction which I experienced, who has himself repelled by force the bloody arm of slavery. I felt as I never felt before. It was a glorious resurrection, from the tomb of slavery, to the heaven of freedom. My long-crushed spirit rose, cowardice departed, bold defiance took its place; and I now resolved that, however long I might remain a slave in form, the day had passed forever when I could be a slave in fact. I did not hesitate to let it be known of me, that the white man who expected to succeed in whipping, must also succeed in killing me.

This fight with Mr. Covey was a turning point in my life as a slave. It reignited the flickering embers of freedom and brought back my sense of manhood. It restored my lost self-confidence and filled me with a determination to be free again. The joy I felt from winning was enough to make me forget anything that might come next, even death. Only someone who has fought against the brutal force of slavery can truly understand the deep satisfaction I felt. I experienced emotions like never before. It was a glorious rebirth, coming from the grave of slavery to the paradise of freedom. My long-suppressed spirit soared, cowardice vanished, and bold defiance took over; I now decided that, no matter how long I might technically remain a slave, the day had passed forever when I could truly be treated as one. I was clear in letting it be known that any white man who thought he could beat me had to be prepared to kill me.

From this time I was never again what might be called fairly whipped, though I remained a slave four years afterwards. I had several fights, but was never whipped.

From this point on, I was never really what you could call fairly beaten, even though I remained a slave for four more years. I had a few fights, but I was never defeated.

It was for a long time a matter of surprise to me why Mr. Covey did not immediately have me taken by the constable to the whipping-post, and there regularly whipped for the crime of raising my hand against a white man in defence of myself. And the only explanation I can now think of does not entirely satisfy me; but such as it is, I will give it. Mr. Covey enjoyed the most unbounded reputation for being a first-rate overseer and negro-breaker. It was of considerable importance to him. That reputation was at stake; and had he sent me—a boy about sixteen years old—to the public whipping-post, his reputation would have been lost; so, to save his reputation, he suffered me to go unpunished.

For a long time, I was surprised that Mr. Covey didn’t have the constable take me to the whipping post right away to be punished for defending myself against a white man. The only explanation I can think of doesn’t fully satisfy me, but I’ll share it anyway. Mr. Covey had a great reputation as a top-notch overseer and breaker of slaves. That reputation was really important to him. If he had sent me—a boy of about sixteen—to the public whipping post, he would have lost that reputation, so to protect it, he let me go unpunished.

My term of actual service to Mr. Edward Covey ended on Christmas day, 1833. The days between Christmas and New Year’s day are allowed as holidays; and, accordingly, we were not required to perform any labor, more than to feed and take care of the stock. This time we regarded as our own, by the grace of our masters; and we therefore used or abused it nearly as we pleased. Those of us who had families at a distance, were generally allowed to spend the whole six days in their society. This time, however, was spent in various ways. The staid, sober, thinking and industrious ones of our number would employ themselves in making corn-brooms, mats, horse-collars, and baskets; and another class of us would spend the time in hunting opossums, hares, and coons. But by far the larger part engaged in such sports and merriments as playing ball, wrestling, running foot-races, fiddling, dancing, and drinking whisky; and this latter mode of spending the time was by far the most agreeable to the feelings of our masters. A slave who would work during the holidays was considered by our masters as scarcely deserving them. He was regarded as one who rejected the favor of his master. It was deemed a disgrace not to get drunk at Christmas; and he was regarded as lazy indeed, who had not provided himself with the necessary means, during the year, to get whisky enough to last him through Christmas.

My time of actual service to Mr. Edward Covey ended on Christmas Day, 1833. The days between Christmas and New Year’s Day are given as holidays, so we weren't required to do much work other than feed and care for the animals. We considered this time as our own, granted by our masters, and we used or wasted it pretty much as we wanted. Those of us with families far away were usually allowed to spend the entire six days with them. However, this time was spent in various ways. The serious, thoughtful, hardworking members of our group would make corn brooms, mats, horse collars, and baskets, while others would go hunting for opossums, hares, and raccoons. But most of us enjoyed activities like playing ball, wrestling, running foot races, fiddling, dancing, and drinking whiskey; and this last way of spending time was definitely the most pleasing to our masters. A slave who worked during the holidays was seen by our masters as undeserving of them. He was viewed as someone who rejected his master’s favor. It was considered shameful not to get drunk at Christmas, and anyone who hadn’t planned ahead to have enough whiskey to last through the holidays was seen as really lazy.

From what I know of the effect of these holidays upon the slave, I believe them to be among the most effective means in the hands of the slaveholder in keeping down the spirit of insurrection. Were the slaveholders at once to abandon this practice, I have not the slightest doubt it would lead to an immediate insurrection among the slaves. These holidays serve as conductors, or safety-valves, to carry off the rebellious spirit of enslaved humanity. But for these, the slave would be forced up to the wildest desperation; and woe betide the slaveholder, the day he ventures to remove or hinder the operation of those conductors! I warn him that, in such an event, a spirit will go forth in their midst, more to be dreaded than the most appalling earthquake.

From what I understand about the impact of these holidays on enslaved people, I believe they are among the most effective tools used by slave owners to suppress the desire for rebellion. If slave owners were to stop this practice, I have no doubt it would result in an immediate uprising among the enslaved. These holidays act as outlets, or safety valves, to relieve the pent-up rebellious spirit of enslaved individuals. Without them, enslaved people would reach a point of utter desperation; and woe to the slave owner who dares to remove or restrict these outlets! I warn them that, in such a case, a force will emerge among them that is far more frightening than the most devastating earthquake.

The holidays are part and parcel of the gross fraud, wrong, and inhumanity of slavery. They are professedly a custom established by the benevolence of the slaveholders; but I undertake to say, it is the result of selfishness, and one of the grossest frauds committed upon the down-trodden slave. They do not give the slaves this time because they would not like to have their work during its continuance, but because they know it would be unsafe to deprive them of it. This will be seen by the fact, that the slaveholders like to have their slaves spend those days just in such a manner as to make them as glad of their ending as of their beginning. Their object seems to be, to disgust their slaves with freedom, by plunging them into the lowest depths of dissipation. For instance, the slaveholders not only like to see the slave drink of his own accord, but will adopt various plans to make him drunk. One plan is, to make bets on their slaves, as to who can drink the most whisky without getting drunk; and in this way they succeed in getting whole multitudes to drink to excess. Thus, when the slave asks for virtuous freedom, the cunning slaveholder, knowing his ignorance, cheats him with a dose of vicious dissipation, artfully labelled with the name of liberty. The most of us used to drink it down, and the result was just what might be supposed; many of us were led to think that there was little to choose between liberty and slavery. We felt, and very properly too, that we had almost as well be slaves to man as to rum. So, when the holidays ended, we staggered up from the filth of our wallowing, took a long breath, and marched to the field,—feeling, upon the whole, rather glad to go, from what our master had deceived us into a belief was freedom, back to the arms of slavery.

The holidays are a big part of the outrageous fraud, injustice, and inhumanity of slavery. They are supposedly a tradition created out of the kindness of slaveholders, but I assert that it's actually driven by selfishness and is one of the most blatant deceptions against the oppressed slave. They don’t give the slaves this time off because they want to avoid working during it, but because they know it's too dangerous to take it away from them. This is evident in how slaveholders prefer their slaves to spend those days in a way that makes them just as eager for the holidays to end as they were for them to start. Their goal seems to be to make their slaves sick of freedom by dragging them into the depths of debauchery. For example, slaveholders not only like to see their slaves drink willingly, but they will also devise various schemes to get them drunk. One method involves betting on which slave can drink the most whisky without getting wasted, and through this, they manage to push many into heavy drinking. So when the slave asks for genuine freedom, the sly slaveholder, aware of his ignorance, tricks him with a dose of corrupt indulgence cleverly labeled as liberty. Most of us used to down it, and the outcome was just as expected; many of us were led to believe that there was little difference between liberty and slavery. We rightly felt that we might as well be slaves to a person as to alcohol. When the holidays ended, we stumbled up from the muck of our drunkenness, took a deep breath, and returned to the fields—feeling, overall, rather relieved to leave what our master had misled us to believe was freedom and go back to the grip of slavery.

I have said that this mode of treatment is a part of the whole system of fraud and inhumanity of slavery. It is so. The mode here adopted to disgust the slave with freedom, by allowing him to see only the abuse of it, is carried out in other things. For instance, a slave loves molasses; he steals some. His master, in many cases, goes off to town, and buys a large quantity; he returns, takes his whip, and commands the slave to eat the molasses, until the poor fellow is made sick at the very mention of it. The same mode is sometimes adopted to make the slaves refrain from asking for more food than their regular allowance. A slave runs through his allowance, and applies for more. His master is enraged at him; but, not willing to send him off without food, gives him more than is necessary, and compels him to eat it within a given time. Then, if he complains that he cannot eat it, he is said to be satisfied neither full nor fasting, and is whipped for being hard to please! I have an abundance of such illustrations of the same principle, drawn from my own observation, but think the cases I have cited sufficient. The practice is a very common one.

I have said that this way of treating people is part of the whole system of deception and cruelty that is slavery. And it is true. The method used here to make the slave disgusted with freedom, by only showing him its abuses, is seen in other situations as well. For example, a slave loves molasses and steals some. His master, often going into town, buys a large quantity and comes back, takes his whip, and forces the slave to eat the molasses until the poor guy can't even stand the thought of it anymore. This same method is sometimes used to stop slaves from asking for more food than they're supposed to get. A slave runs out of his ration and asks for more. His master gets furious, but not wanting to send him off hungry, gives him more than he needs and makes him eat it in a certain amount of time. Then, if he complains that he can’t eat it, he’s told he’s neither satisfied nor fasting and gets whipped for being hard to please! I have plenty of examples of this same principle from my own observations, but I think the cases I’ve mentioned are enough. This practice is very common.

On the first of January, 1834, I left Mr. Covey, and went to live with Mr. William Freeland, who lived about three miles from St. Michael’s. I soon found Mr. Freeland a very different man from Mr. Covey. Though not rich, he was what would be called an educated southern gentleman. Mr. Covey, as I have shown, was a well-trained negro-breaker and slave-driver. The former (slaveholder though he was) seemed to possess some regard for honor, some reverence for justice, and some respect for humanity. The latter seemed totally insensible to all such sentiments. Mr. Freeland had many of the faults peculiar to slaveholders, such as being very passionate and fretful; but I must do him the justice to say, that he was exceedingly free from those degrading vices to which Mr. Covey was constantly addicted. The one was open and frank, and we always knew where to find him. The other was a most artful deceiver, and could be understood only by such as were skilful enough to detect his cunningly-devised frauds. Another advantage I gained in my new master was, he made no pretensions to, or profession of, religion; and this, in my opinion, was truly a great advantage. I assert most unhesitatingly, that the religion of the south is a mere covering for the most horrid crimes,—a justifier of the most appalling barbarity,—a sanctifier of the most hateful frauds,—and a dark shelter under, which the darkest, foulest, grossest, and most infernal deeds of slaveholders find the strongest protection. Were I to be again reduced to the chains of slavery, next to that enslavement, I should regard being the slave of a religious master the greatest calamity that could befall me. For of all slaveholders with whom I have ever met, religious slaveholders are the worst. I have ever found them the meanest and basest, the most cruel and cowardly, of all others. It was my unhappy lot not only to belong to a religious slaveholder, but to live in a community of such religionists. Very near Mr. Freeland lived the Rev. Daniel Weeden, and in the same neighborhood lived the Rev. Rigby Hopkins. These were members and ministers in the Reformed Methodist Church. Mr. Weeden owned, among others, a woman slave, whose name I have forgotten. This woman’s back, for weeks, was kept literally raw, made so by the lash of this merciless, religious wretch. He used to hire hands. His maxim was, Behave well or behave ill, it is the duty of a master occasionally to whip a slave, to remind him of his master’s authority. Such was his theory, and such his practice.

On January 1, 1834, I left Mr. Covey and started living with Mr. William Freeland, who lived about three miles from St. Michael’s. I quickly discovered that Mr. Freeland was very different from Mr. Covey. Although he wasn’t wealthy, he was what you would call an educated Southern gentleman. Mr. Covey, as I’ve shown, was a skilled slave-breaker and driver. The former, despite being a slaveholder, seemed to have some sense of honor, some respect for justice, and some regard for humanity. The latter appeared completely oblivious to any such feelings. Mr. Freeland had many of the flaws typical of slaveholders, like being very passionate and irritable; but I have to give him credit for being far removed from the degrading vices that Mr. Covey constantly indulged in. The former was open and straightforward, and we always knew where we stood with him. The latter was a crafty deceiver, someone who could only be understood by those skilled enough to uncover his cunningly crafted tricks. Another advantage I gained with my new master was that he made no claims to or attempts at religion; and in my view, that was a significant benefit. I firmly believe that the religion of the South merely serves as a facade for the most horrific crimes—a justification for the most shocking brutality—a sanction for the most despicable frauds—and a dark shield under which the most vile, disgusting, and horrifying actions of slaveholders find the strongest protection. If I were to be enslaved again, aside from that servitude, being the slave of a religious master would be the greatest disaster I could face. Of all the slaveholders I’ve encountered, religious ones have been the worst. I’ve found them to be the meanest and most despicable, the most cruel and cowardly of all. Unfortunately, I was not only a slave to a religious slaveholder, but I also lived in a community full of such religious figures. Very close to Mr. Freeland lived the Rev. Daniel Weeden, and in the same area lived the Rev. Rigby Hopkins. These men were members and ministers in the Reformed Methodist Church. Mr. Weeden owned, among others, a female slave, whose name I have forgotten. This woman’s back remained painfully raw for weeks, inflicted by the whip of this ruthless, religious monster. He used to hire laborers. His saying was, whether you behave well or poorly, it’s a master’s duty from time to time to whip a slave to remind them of their master’s authority. That was his theory, and that was his practice.

Mr. Hopkins was even worse than Mr. Weeden. His chief boast was his ability to manage slaves. The peculiar feature of his government was that of whipping slaves in advance of deserving it. He always managed to have one or more of his slaves to whip every Monday morning. He did this to alarm their fears, and strike terror into those who escaped. His plan was to whip for the smallest offences, to prevent the commission of large ones. Mr. Hopkins could always find some excuse for whipping a slave. It would astonish one, unaccustomed to a slaveholding life, to see with what wonderful ease a slaveholder can find things, of which to make occasion to whip a slave. A mere look, word, or motion,—a mistake, accident, or want of power,—are all matters for which a slave may be whipped at any time. Does a slave look dissatisfied? It is said, he has the devil in him, and it must be whipped out. Does he speak loudly when spoken to by his master? Then he is getting high-minded, and should be taken down a button-hole lower. Does he forget to pull off his hat at the approach of a white person? Then he is wanting in reverence, and should be whipped for it. Does he ever venture to vindicate his conduct, when censured for it? Then he is guilty of impudence,—one of the greatest crimes of which a slave can be guilty. Does he ever venture to suggest a different mode of doing things from that pointed out by his master? He is indeed presumptuous, and getting above himself; and nothing less than a flogging will do for him. Does he, while ploughing, break a plough,—or, while hoeing, break a hoe? It is owing to his carelessness, and for it a slave must always be whipped. Mr. Hopkins could always find something of this sort to justify the use of the lash, and he seldom failed to embrace such opportunities. There was not a man in the whole county, with whom the slaves who had the getting their own home, would not prefer to live, rather than with this Rev. Mr. Hopkins. And yet there was not a man any where round, who made higher professions of religion, or was more active in revivals,—more attentive to the class, love-feast, prayer and preaching meetings, or more devotional in his family,—that prayed earlier, later, louder, and longer,—than this same reverend slave-driver, Rigby Hopkins.

Mr. Hopkins was even worse than Mr. Weeden. His main claim to fame was his ability to manage slaves. The unique aspect of his leadership was that he would whip slaves even before they actually deserved it. He always made sure to have one or more slaves to whip every Monday morning. He did this to instill fear and terror in those who managed to escape. His strategy was to whip for the smallest offenses to prevent any larger ones. Mr. Hopkins could always find an excuse to whip a slave. It would surprise anyone unfamiliar with a slaveholding lifestyle to see how easily a slaveholder can come up with reasons to whip a slave. A mere look, word, or gesture—a mistake, accident, or lack of ability—are all valid reasons for whipping a slave at any time. If a slave looks unhappy, it’s said they have the devil in them, and that must be whipped out. If they speak loudly when addressed by their master, then they are getting too high-minded and should be brought down a notch. If they forget to take off their hat when a white person approaches, they are lacking in respect and should be whipped for it. If they ever dare to defend their actions when criticized, they are guilty of impudence, one of the biggest offenses a slave can commit. If they suggest a different way of doing things than what their master has pointed out, they are being presumptuous and getting above themselves; nothing less than a flogging will suffice. If they break a plow while plowing or a hoe while hoeing, it's due to their carelessness, and for that, a slave must always be whipped. Mr. Hopkins could always find something like this to justify using the lash, and he rarely missed an opportunity. There wasn't a single man in the whole county that the slaves who could escape wouldn't prefer to live with over Reverend Mr. Hopkins. Yet, there wasn't a man around who made higher claims of religion or was more active in revivals—more attentive to class meetings, love-feasts, prayer, and preaching meetings, or more devoted in his family—who prayed earlier, later, louder, and longer—than this same reverend slave driver, Rigby Hopkins.

But to return to Mr. Freeland, and to my experience while in his employment. He, like Mr. Covey, gave us enough to eat; but, unlike Mr. Covey, he also gave us sufficient time to take our meals. He worked us hard, but always between sunrise and sunset. He required a good deal of work to be done, but gave us good tools with which to work. His farm was large, but he employed hands enough to work it, and with ease, compared with many of his neighbors. My treatment, while in his employment, was heavenly, compared with what I experienced at the hands of Mr. Edward Covey.

But to get back to Mr. Freeland and my experience working for him. He, like Mr. Covey, provided us with enough food, but unlike Mr. Covey, he also gave us enough time to eat our meals. He worked us hard, but always from sunrise to sunset. He expected a lot of work to be done, but he gave us good tools to do it. His farm was large, but he had enough workers to handle it easily compared to many of his neighbors. My treatment while working for him was like heaven, especially compared to how I was treated by Mr. Edward Covey.

Mr. Freeland was himself the owner of but two slaves. Their names were Henry Harris and John Harris. The rest of his hands he hired. These consisted of myself, Sandy Jenkins,[1] and Handy Caldwell.

Mr. Freeland owned only two slaves, named Henry Harris and John Harris. He hired the rest of his workers. They included me, Sandy Jenkins, [1] and Handy Caldwell.

[1] This is the same man who gave me the roots to prevent my being whipped by Mr. Covey. He was “a clever soul.” We used frequently to talk about the fight with Covey, and as often as we did so, he would claim my success as the result of the roots which he gave me. This superstition is very common among the more ignorant slaves. A slave seldom dies but that his death is attributed to trickery.

[1] This is the same guy who gave me the roots to help me avoid being whipped by Mr. Covey. He was “a clever soul.” We often talked about the fight with Covey, and each time we did, he would insist that my victory was because of the roots he had given me. This kind of superstition is pretty common among less educated slaves. A slave rarely dies without someone claiming that their death was caused by some kind of trickery.

Henry and John were quite intelligent, and in a very little while after I went there, I succeeded in creating in them a strong desire to learn how to read. This desire soon sprang up in the others also. They very soon mustered up some old spelling-books, and nothing would do but that I must keep a Sabbath school. I agreed to do so, and accordingly devoted my Sundays to teaching these my loved fellow-slaves how to read. Neither of them knew his letters when I went there. Some of the slaves of the neighboring farms found what was going on, and also availed themselves of this little opportunity to learn to read. It was understood, among all who came, that there must be as little display about it as possible. It was necessary to keep our religious masters at St. Michael’s unacquainted with the fact, that, instead of spending the Sabbath in wrestling, boxing, and drinking whisky, we were trying to learn how to read the will of God; for they had much rather see us engaged in those degrading sports, than to see us behaving like intellectual, moral, and accountable beings. My blood boils as I think of the bloody manner in which Messrs. Wright Fairbanks and Garrison West, both class-leaders, in connection with many others, rushed in upon us with sticks and stones, and broke up our virtuous little Sabbath school, at St. Michael’s—all calling themselves Christians! humble followers of the Lord Jesus Christ! But I am again digressing.

Henry and John were really smart, and shortly after I arrived, I managed to spark a strong desire in them to learn how to read. This urge quickly grew in the others as well. Before long, they gathered some old spelling books, and insisted that I start a Sunday school. I agreed and dedicated my Sundays to teaching these beloved fellow slaves how to read. Neither of them knew their letters when I first got there. Some slaves from nearby farms discovered what was happening and also took this chance to learn to read. It was understood among everyone who came that we had to keep it low-key. We needed to hide from our religious masters at St. Michael's that instead of spending the Sabbath wrestling, boxing, and drinking whiskey, we were trying to learn how to read the will of God; because they preferred to see us engaged in those degrading activities rather than behaving like thoughtful, moral, and responsible individuals. It makes my blood boil to remember how Messrs. Wright Fairbanks and Garrison West, both class leaders, along with others, barged in on us with sticks and stones and shut down our little Sunday school at St. Michael's—all while calling themselves Christians! Humble followers of the Lord Jesus Christ! But I'm getting sidetracked again.

I held my Sabbath school at the house of a free colored man, whose name I deem it imprudent to mention; for should it be known, it might embarrass him greatly, though the crime of holding the school was committed ten years ago. I had at one time over forty scholars, and those of the right sort, ardently desiring to learn. They were of all ages, though mostly men and women. I look back to those Sundays with an amount of pleasure not to be expressed. They were great days to my soul. The work of instructing my dear fellow-slaves was the sweetest engagement with which I was ever blessed. We loved each other, and to leave them at the close of the Sabbath was a severe cross indeed. When I think that these precious souls are to-day shut up in the prison-house of slavery, my feelings overcome me, and I am almost ready to ask, “Does a righteous God govern the universe? and for what does he hold the thunders in his right hand, if not to smite the oppressor, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the spoiler?” These dear souls came not to Sabbath school because it was popular to do so, nor did I teach them because it was reputable to be thus engaged. Every moment they spent in that school, they were liable to be taken up, and given thirty-nine lashes. They came because they wished to learn. Their minds had been starved by their cruel masters. They had been shut up in mental darkness. I taught them, because it was the delight of my soul to be doing something that looked like bettering the condition of my race. I kept up my school nearly the whole year I lived with Mr. Freeland; and, beside my Sabbath school, I devoted three evenings in the week, during the winter, to teaching the slaves at home. And I have the happiness to know, that several of those who came to Sabbath school learned how to read; and that one, at least, is now free through my agency.

I held my Sunday school at the home of a free Black man, whose name I think it's better not to share; if it got out, it could really embarrass him, even though the school was set up ten years ago. At one point, I had over forty students, and they were the right kind of people, eager to learn. They were of all ages, mostly adults. Looking back on those Sundays brings me immense joy. They were special days for me. Teaching my fellow enslaved people was the most rewarding experience I’ve ever had. We cared for each other, and leaving them when the Sabbath ended was truly hard. When I think about how these wonderful people are still trapped in slavery today, I’m overwhelmed with emotion and almost find myself asking, “Does a just God oversee this world? And why does He hold the power to punish if not to strike down the oppressor and free those who have been wronged?” These amazing individuals didn’t come to Sunday school because it was trendy, nor did I teach them out of a desire for reputation. Every moment they spent in that school put them at risk of being caught and whipped thirty-nine times. They came because they genuinely wanted to learn. Their cruel masters had starved their minds and kept them in ignorance. I taught them because it meant the world to me to do something that could improve the lives of my people. I ran my school for almost the entire year I stayed with Mr. Freeland, and in addition to my Sunday school, I spent three evenings a week during the winter teaching slaves at home. I’m happy to know that several of those who attended Sunday school learned to read, and at least one has gained freedom because of my efforts.

The year passed off smoothly. It seemed only about half as long as the year which preceded it. I went through it without receiving a single blow. I will give Mr. Freeland the credit of being the best master I ever had, till I became my own master. For the ease with which I passed the year, I was, however, somewhat indebted to the society of my fellow-slaves. They were noble souls; they not only possessed loving hearts, but brave ones. We were linked and interlinked with each other. I loved them with a love stronger than any thing I have experienced since. It is sometimes said that we slaves do not love and confide in each other. In answer to this assertion, I can say, I never loved any or confided in any people more than my fellow-slaves, and especially those with whom I lived at Mr. Freeland’s. I believe we would have died for each other. We never undertook to do any thing, of any importance, without a mutual consultation. We never moved separately. We were one; and as much so by our tempers and dispositions, as by the mutual hardships to which we were necessarily subjected by our condition as slaves.

The year went by smoothly. It felt only about half as long as the previous one. I got through it without a single blow. I have to give Mr. Freeland credit for being the best master I ever had, until I became my own master. For the ease with which I passed the year, I was, however, somewhat grateful to the company of my fellow slaves. They were amazing individuals; they not only had loving hearts but also brave ones. We were connected in so many ways. I loved them with a depth of feeling that I haven't experienced since. People sometimes say that we slaves don't love and trust each other. In response to that, I can say I have never loved or trusted anyone more than my fellow slaves, especially those I lived with at Mr. Freeland’s. I believe we would have died for one another. We never undertook anything important without discussing it together. We never acted alone. We were one; as much by our personalities and dispositions as by the common hardships we faced due to our situation as slaves.

At the close of the year 1834, Mr. Freeland again hired me of my master, for the year 1835. But, by this time, I began to want to live upon free land as well as with Freeland; and I was no longer content, therefore, to live with him or any other slaveholder. I began, with the commencement of the year, to prepare myself for a final struggle, which should decide my fate one way or the other. My tendency was upward. I was fast approaching manhood, and year after year had passed, and I was still a slave. These thoughts roused me—I must do something. I therefore resolved that 1835 should not pass without witnessing an attempt, on my part, to secure my liberty. But I was not willing to cherish this determination alone. My fellow-slaves were dear to me. I was anxious to have them participate with me in this, my life-giving determination. I therefore, though with great prudence, commenced early to ascertain their views and feelings in regard to their condition, and to imbue their minds with thoughts of freedom. I bent myself to devising ways and means for our escape, and meanwhile strove, on all fitting occasions, to impress them with the gross fraud and inhumanity of slavery. I went first to Henry, next to John, then to the others. I found, in them all, warm hearts and noble spirits. They were ready to hear, and ready to act when a feasible plan should be proposed. This was what I wanted. I talked to them of our want of manhood, if we submitted to our enslavement without at least one noble effort to be free. We met often, and consulted frequently, and told our hopes and fears, recounted the difficulties, real and imagined, which we should be called on to meet. At times we were almost disposed to give up, and try to content ourselves with our wretched lot; at others, we were firm and unbending in our determination to go. Whenever we suggested any plan, there was shrinking—the odds were fearful. Our path was beset with the greatest obstacles; and if we succeeded in gaining the end of it, our right to be free was yet questionable—we were yet liable to be returned to bondage. We could see no spot, this side of the ocean, where we could be free. We knew nothing about Canada. Our knowledge of the north did not extend farther than New York; and to go there, and be forever harassed with the frightful liability of being returned to slavery—with the certainty of being treated tenfold worse than before—the thought was truly a horrible one, and one which it was not easy to overcome. The case sometimes stood thus: At every gate through which we were to pass, we saw a watchman—at every ferry a guard—on every bridge a sentinel—and in every wood a patrol. We were hemmed in upon every side. Here were the difficulties, real or imagined—the good to be sought, and the evil to be shunned. On the one hand, there stood slavery, a stern reality, glaring frightfully upon us,—its robes already crimsoned with the blood of millions, and even now feasting itself greedily upon our own flesh. On the other hand, away back in the dim distance, under the flickering light of the north star, behind some craggy hill or snow-covered mountain, stood a doubtful freedom—half frozen—beckoning us to come and share its hospitality. This in itself was sometimes enough to stagger us; but when we permitted ourselves to survey the road, we were frequently appalled. Upon either side we saw grim death, assuming the most horrid shapes. Now it was starvation, causing us to eat our own flesh;—now we were contending with the waves, and were drowned;—now we were overtaken, and torn to pieces by the fangs of the terrible bloodhound. We were stung by scorpions, chased by wild beasts, bitten by snakes, and finally, after having nearly reached the desired spot,—after swimming rivers, encountering wild beasts, sleeping in the woods, suffering hunger and nakedness,—we were overtaken by our pursuers, and, in our resistance, we were shot dead upon the spot! I say, this picture sometimes appalled us, and made us

At the end of 1834, Mr. Freeland hired me from my master for the year 1835 again. By this time, I wanted to live on free land as well as with Freeland; and I was no longer satisfied to live with him or any other slaveholder. I started preparing for a final struggle that would determine my fate one way or another. I felt a strong urge to rise. I was quickly nearing adulthood, yet year after year passed, and I was still a slave. These thoughts motivated me—I had to take action. I decided that 1835 would not end without me making an attempt to secure my freedom. But I didn't want to hold this determination alone. My fellow slaves were important to me. I wanted them to join me in this life-changing decision. So, with great caution, I began to understand their views and feelings about our situation and to inspire them with thoughts of freedom. I focused on figuring out ways for us to escape while trying to impress upon them the awful fraud and cruelty of slavery during appropriate moments. I spoke to Henry first, then to John, and then to the others. I discovered warm hearts and noble spirits in all of them. They were eager to listen and ready to act when a reasonable plan was suggested. That was exactly what I wanted. I discussed our lack of dignity if we accepted our enslavement without at least trying for our freedom. We met often, consulted frequently, and shared our hopes and fears, discussing the real and imagined challenges we would face. Sometimes we nearly gave up and thought of settling for our miserable lives; other times, we were resolute in our determination to go. Whenever we proposed a plan, there was hesitation—the risks were daunting. Our path was filled with significant obstacles; even if we reached our goal, our right to be free would still be uncertain—we could still be sent back into bondage. We couldn’t see any place on this side of the ocean where we could be free. We knew nothing about Canada. Our understanding of the north only stretched as far as New York; to go there meant living in constant fear of being returned to slavery—with the certainty of being treated far worse than before—the thought was genuinely horrifying and not easy to shake off. At times, we felt overwhelmed. Every gate we encountered had a watchman—every ferry had a guard—every bridge had a sentinel—and every forest had patrols. We felt trapped from every direction. There lay the challenges, whether real or imagined—the freedom we sought and the dangers we wanted to avoid. On one side was slavery, a harsh reality, glaring down at us—its robes stained with the blood of millions, currently feeding greedily on our own flesh. On the other side, far in the distance, under the flickering light of the north star, behind rocky hills or snow-covered mountains, lay a questionable freedom—half-frozen and beckoning us to come and share in its hospitality. Just that thought could sometimes shake us; but when we allowed ourselves to consider the journey, we were often horrified. On either side lurked grim death in various eerie forms. There was starvation that drove us to cannibalism; there were the waves that drowned us; there were pursuers who would rip us apart with their terrifying bloodhounds. We faced scorpions, wild beasts, snake bites, and finally, after nearly reaching our destination—after swimming through rivers, facing wild animals, sleeping in the woods, and suffering from hunger and cold—we were caught by our pursuers, and in our struggle, we were shot dead on the spot! I say, this depiction often horrified us, leaving us shaken.

“rather bear those ills we had,
Than fly to others, that we knew not of.”

“we’d rather deal with the problems we have
than run away to unknown ones.”

In coming to a fixed determination to run away, we did more than Patrick Henry, when he resolved upon liberty or death. With us it was a doubtful liberty at most, and almost certain death if we failed. For my part, I should prefer death to hopeless bondage.

In deciding to run away, we went further than Patrick Henry when he declared liberty or death. For us, it was uncertain liberty at best, and nearly guaranteed death if we failed. Personally, I would rather choose death over being in hopeless captivity.

Sandy, one of our number, gave up the notion, but still encouraged us. Our company then consisted of Henry Harris, John Harris, Henry Bailey, Charles Roberts, and myself. Henry Bailey was my uncle, and belonged to my master. Charles married my aunt: he belonged to my master’s father-in-law, Mr. William Hamilton.

Sandy, one of us, abandoned the idea but still supported us. Our group then included Henry Harris, John Harris, Henry Bailey, Charles Roberts, and me. Henry Bailey was my uncle and belonged to my master. Charles married my aunt; he belonged to my master’s father-in-law, Mr. William Hamilton.

The plan we finally concluded upon was, to get a large canoe belonging to Mr. Hamilton, and upon the Saturday night previous to Easter holidays, paddle directly up the Chesapeake Bay. On our arrival at the head of the bay, a distance of seventy or eighty miles from where we lived, it was our purpose to turn our canoe adrift, and follow the guidance of the north star till we got beyond the limits of Maryland. Our reason for taking the water route was, that we were less liable to be suspected as runaways; we hoped to be regarded as fishermen; whereas, if we should take the land route, we should be subjected to interruptions of almost every kind. Any one having a white face, and being so disposed, could stop us, and subject us to examination.

The plan we finally settled on was to get a large canoe owned by Mr. Hamilton and on the Saturday night before the Easter holidays, paddle straight up the Chesapeake Bay. Once we reached the top of the bay, about seventy or eighty miles from where we lived, we intended to set our canoe free and follow the north star until we were outside the borders of Maryland. We chose the water route because it was less likely to raise suspicion that we were runaways; we hoped people would see us as fishermen. On the other hand, if we took the land route, we would face all sorts of interruptions. Anyone with a white face could stop us and force us to explain ourselves.

The week before our intended start, I wrote several protections, one for each of us. As well as I can remember, they were in the following words, to wit:—

The week before we were set to begin, I wrote several protections, one for each of us. As best as I can recall, they went like this:—

“This is to certify that I, the undersigned, have given the bearer, my servant, full liberty to go to Baltimore, and spend the Easter holidays. Written with mine own hand, &c., 1835.

“This is to certify that I, the undersigned, have given the bearer, my servant, full permission to go to Baltimore and spend the Easter holidays. Written by my own hand, etc., 1835.”

“WILLIAM HAMILTON,
“Near St. Michael’s, in Talbot county, Maryland.”

“WILLIAM HAMILTON,
“Near St. Michael’s, in Talbot County, Maryland.”

We were not going to Baltimore; but, in going up the bay, we went toward Baltimore, and these protections were only intended to protect us while on the bay.

We weren't going to Baltimore; however, as we traveled up the bay, we moved in the direction of Baltimore, and these protections were meant to keep us safe while we were on the bay.

As the time drew near for our departure, our anxiety became more and more intense. It was truly a matter of life and death with us. The strength of our determination was about to be fully tested. At this time, I was very active in explaining every difficulty, removing every doubt, dispelling every fear, and inspiring all with the firmness indispensable to success in our undertaking; assuring them that half was gained the instant we made the move; we had talked long enough; we were now ready to move; if not now, we never should be; and if we did not intend to move now, we had as well fold our arms, sit down, and acknowledge ourselves fit only to be slaves. This, none of us were prepared to acknowledge. Every man stood firm; and at our last meeting, we pledged ourselves afresh, in the most solemn manner, that, at the time appointed, we would certainly start in pursuit of freedom. This was in the middle of the week, at the end of which we were to be off. We went, as usual, to our several fields of labor, but with bosoms highly agitated with thoughts of our truly hazardous undertaking. We tried to conceal our feelings as much as possible; and I think we succeeded very well.

As our departure approached, our anxiety grew stronger. It felt like a matter of life and death for us. The strength of our determination was about to be completely tested. During this time, I was busy addressing every challenge, quelling every doubt, dispelling every fear, and motivating everyone with the resolve necessary for success in our mission; assuring them that we’d already made significant progress the moment we decided to act; we had talked long enough; we were ready to move now; if we didn’t take action now, we never would; and if we planned to stay put, we might as well sit down and accept that we were meant to be slaves. None of us were ready to accept that. Every man stood firm; at our last meeting, we pledged once again, in the most serious way, that when the time came, we would definitely start our quest for freedom. This was in the middle of the week, just before we were set to leave. We returned to our respective tasks, but our minds were heavy with thoughts of our risky undertaking. We tried to hide our feelings as much as we could; I think we managed to do so quite well.

After a painful waiting, the Saturday morning, whose night was to witness our departure, came. I hailed it with joy, bring what of sadness it might. Friday night was a sleepless one for me. I probably felt more anxious than the rest, because I was, by common consent, at the head of the whole affair. The responsibility of success or failure lay heavily upon me. The glory of the one, and the confusion of the other, were alike mine. The first two hours of that morning were such as I never experienced before, and hope never to again. Early in the morning, we went, as usual, to the field. We were spreading manure; and all at once, while thus engaged, I was overwhelmed with an indescribable feeling, in the fulness of which I turned to Sandy, who was near by, and said, “We are betrayed!” “Well,” said he, “that thought has this moment struck me.” We said no more. I was never more certain of any thing.

After a long wait, Saturday morning finally arrived, the very day we were set to leave. I welcomed it with joy, despite any sadness it might bring. I spent Friday night wide awake. I probably felt more anxious than everyone else because, by general agreement, I was leading the whole thing. The weight of success or failure pressed heavily on my shoulders. The glory of one and the shame of the other rested on me. The first two hours of that morning were unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and I hope to never feel that way again. Early in the morning, we headed to the field as usual. We were spreading manure when suddenly, while we were working, I was hit with an indescribable sensation. Filled with this feeling, I turned to Sandy, who was nearby, and said, “We are betrayed!” He replied, “Well, that thought just crossed my mind.” We didn’t say anything more. I had never been so sure of anything.

The horn was blown as usual, and we went up from the field to the house for breakfast. I went for the form, more than for want of any thing to eat that morning. Just as I got to the house, in looking out at the lane gate, I saw four white men, with two colored men. The white men were on horseback, and the colored ones were walking behind, as if tied. I watched them a few moments till they got up to our lane gate. Here they halted, and tied the colored men to the gate-post. I was not yet certain as to what the matter was. In a few moments, in rode Mr. Hamilton, with a speed betokening great excitement. He came to the door, and inquired if Master William was in. He was told he was at the barn. Mr. Hamilton, without dismounting, rode up to the barn with extraordinary speed. In a few moments, he and Mr. Freeland returned to the house. By this time, the three constables rode up, and in great haste dismounted, tied their horses, and met Master William and Mr. Hamilton returning from the barn; and after talking awhile, they all walked up to the kitchen door. There was no one in the kitchen but myself and John. Henry and Sandy were up at the barn. Mr. Freeland put his head in at the door, and called me by name, saying, there were some gentlemen at the door who wished to see me. I stepped to the door, and inquired what they wanted. They at once seized me, and, without giving me any satisfaction, tied me—lashing my hands closely together. I insisted upon knowing what the matter was. They at length said, that they had learned I had been in a “scrape,” and that I was to be examined before my master; and if their information proved false, I should not be hurt.

The horn was blown as usual, and we walked up from the field to the house for breakfast. I went for the form, more out of boredom than a genuine need for food that morning. Just as I reached the house, I looked out at the lane gate and saw four white men with two black men. The white men were on horseback, while the black men were walking behind them as if they were tied. I watched for a few moments until they reached our lane gate. There, they stopped and tied the black men to the gate post. I still wasn’t sure what was going on. A few moments later, Mr. Hamilton rode in, moving at a speed that showed he was very agitated. He came to the door and asked if Master William was inside. He was told he was at the barn. Mr. Hamilton, without getting off his horse, rode at an incredible speed up to the barn. In a few moments, he and Mr. Freeland returned to the house. By this time, the three constables rode up, jumped off their horses in a hurry, tied them, and met Master William and Mr. Hamilton as they came back from the barn. After talking for a while, they all walked up to the kitchen door. There was no one in the kitchen apart from me and John. Henry and Sandy were at the barn. Mr. Freeland stuck his head in the door and called me by name, saying there were some gentlemen at the door who wanted to see me. I stepped outside and asked what they wanted. They immediately grabbed me, and without giving me any explanation, tied me up—binding my hands tightly together. I demanded to know what was going on. Eventually, they said they had heard I was in a “scrape” and that I was to be examined by my master; if their information turned out to be wrong, I wouldn’t be hurt.

In a few moments, they succeeded in tying John. They then turned to Henry, who had by this time returned, and commanded him to cross his hands. “I won’t!” said Henry, in a firm tone, indicating his readiness to meet the consequences of his refusal. “Won’t you?” said Tom Graham, the constable. “No, I won’t!” said Henry, in a still stronger tone. With this, two of the constables pulled out their shining pistols, and swore, by their Creator, that they would make him cross his hands or kill him. Each cocked his pistol, and, with fingers on the trigger, walked up to Henry, saying, at the same time, if he did not cross his hands, they would blow his damned heart out. “Shoot me, shoot me!” said Henry; “you can’t kill me but once. Shoot, shoot,—and be damned! I won’t be tied!” This he said in a tone of loud defiance; and at the same time, with a motion as quick as lightning, he with one single stroke dashed the pistols from the hand of each constable. As he did this, all hands fell upon him, and, after beating him some time, they finally overpowered him, and got him tied.

In a few moments, they managed to tie up John. They then turned to Henry, who had returned by this time, and ordered him to cross his hands. “I won’t!” Henry said firmly, showing he was ready to face the consequences of his refusal. “Won’t you?” asked Tom Graham, the constable. “No, I won’t!” Henry replied, even more emphatically. With that, two of the constables drew their shiny pistols and swore, by their Creator, that they would make him cross his hands or kill him. Each of them cocked their pistol and, with their fingers on the trigger, approached Henry, warning him that if he didn’t comply, they would blow his damned heart out. “Shoot me, shoot me!” Henry shouted; “you can only kill me once. Shoot, shoot,—and be damned! I won’t be tied!” He said this defiantly, and in an instant, he swiftly knocked the pistols out of the hands of both constables. As he did this, everyone jumped on him, and after beating him for a while, they finally overpowered him and managed to tie him up.

During the scuffle, I managed, I know not how, to get my pass out, and, without being discovered, put it into the fire. We were all now tied; and just as we were to leave for Easton jail, Betsy Freeland, mother of William Freeland, came to the door with her hands full of biscuits, and divided them between Henry and John. She then delivered herself of a speech, to the following effect:—addressing herself to me, she said, “You devil! You yellow devil! it was you that put it into the heads of Henry and John to run away. But for you, you long-legged mulatto devil! Henry nor John would never have thought of such a thing.” I made no reply, and was immediately hurried off towards St. Michael’s. Just a moment previous to the scuffle with Henry, Mr. Hamilton suggested the propriety of making a search for the protections which he had understood Frederick had written for himself and the rest. But, just at the moment he was about carrying his proposal into effect, his aid was needed in helping to tie Henry; and the excitement attending the scuffle caused them either to forget, or to deem it unsafe, under the circumstances, to search. So we were not yet convicted of the intention to run away.

During the struggle, I somehow managed to get my pass out and, without being noticed, tossed it into the fire. We were all tied up, and just as we were about to leave for Easton jail, Betsy Freeland, the mother of William Freeland, came to the door with her hands full of biscuits and handed them out to Henry and John. Then she gave a speech that went like this: addressing me, she said, “You devil! You yellow devil! You were the one who got Henry and John to think about running away. If it weren't for you, you long-legged mulatto devil! Henry and John would never have considered such a thing.” I didn’t say anything and was quickly taken off toward St. Michael’s. Just a moment before the fight with Henry, Mr. Hamilton suggested that we should search for the protections he believed Frederick had written for himself and the others. But right when he was about to carry out his plan, he was needed to help secure Henry, and the chaos from the struggle made them either forget or think it was too risky to search. So, we weren't yet found guilty of planning to escape.

When we got about half way to St. Michael’s, while the constables having us in charge were looking ahead, Henry inquired of me what he should do with his pass. I told him to eat it with his biscuit, and own nothing; and we passed the word around, “Own nothing;” and “Own nothing!” said we all. Our confidence in each other was unshaken. We were resolved to succeed or fail together, after the calamity had befallen us as much as before. We were now prepared for any thing. We were to be dragged that morning fifteen miles behind horses, and then to be placed in the Easton jail. When we reached St. Michael’s, we underwent a sort of examination. We all denied that we ever intended to run away. We did this more to bring out the evidence against us, than from any hope of getting clear of being sold; for, as I have said, we were ready for that. The fact was, we cared but little where we went, so we went together. Our greatest concern was about separation. We dreaded that more than any thing this side of death. We found the evidence against us to be the testimony of one person; our master would not tell who it was; but we came to a unanimous decision among ourselves as to who their informant was. We were sent off to the jail at Easton. When we got there, we were delivered up to the sheriff, Mr. Joseph Graham, and by him placed in jail. Henry, John, and myself, were placed in one room together—Charles, and Henry Bailey, in another. Their object in separating us was to hinder concert.

When we were about halfway to St. Michael’s, while the constables in charge of us were looking ahead, Henry asked me what he should do with his pass. I told him to eat it with his biscuit and to own nothing. We spread the word around, “Own nothing;” and “Own nothing!” we all repeated. Our trust in each other was unshaken. We were determined to succeed or fail together, just as we had before the disaster struck us. We were now ready for anything. That morning, we were set to be pulled fifteen miles behind horses and then placed in the Easton jail. When we arrived in St. Michael’s, we went through a kind of examination. We all denied that we ever intended to run away. We did this more to force out the evidence against us than out of any hope of avoiding being sold; as I mentioned, we were ready for that. The truth was, we didn’t care much about where we went, as long as we were together. Our biggest fear was about being separated. We dreaded that more than anything else this side of death. We discovered the evidence against us was based on the testimony of one person; our master refused to reveal who it was, but we all agreed on who we thought their informant was. We were sent off to the jail in Easton. Once we got there, we were handed over to the sheriff, Mr. Joseph Graham, and he placed us in jail. Henry, John, and I were put in one room together, while Charles and Henry Bailey were in another. The reason they separated us was to prevent us from working together.

We had been in jail scarcely twenty minutes, when a swarm of slave traders, and agents for slave traders, flocked into jail to look at us, and to ascertain if we were for sale. Such a set of beings I never saw before! I felt myself surrounded by so many fiends from perdition. A band of pirates never looked more like their father, the devil. They laughed and grinned over us, saying, “Ah, my boys! we have got you, haven’t we?” And after taunting us in various ways, they one by one went into an examination of us, with intent to ascertain our value. They would impudently ask us if we would not like to have them for our masters. We would make them no answer, and leave them to find out as best they could. Then they would curse and swear at us, telling us that they could take the devil out of us in a very little while, if we were only in their hands.

We had barely been in jail for twenty minutes when a group of slave traders, along with their agents, rushed in to check us out and see if we were for sale. I had never encountered such a collection of people before! I felt like I was surrounded by demons from hell. A gang of pirates couldn’t look more like their evil master. They laughed and smirked at us, saying, “Ah, boys! We’ve got you, haven’t we?” After mocking us in different ways, they each took turns examining us to figure out our worth. They would audaciously ask if we wouldn’t want them as our masters. We didn’t respond, leaving them to figure it out on their own. Then they would curse and yell at us, claiming they could beat the devil out of us in no time if only we were in their control.

While in jail, we found ourselves in much more comfortable quarters than we expected when we went there. We did not get much to eat, nor that which was very good; but we had a good clean room, from the windows of which we could see what was going on in the street, which was very much better than though we had been placed in one of the dark, damp cells. Upon the whole, we got along very well, so far as the jail and its keeper were concerned. Immediately after the holidays were over, contrary to all our expectations, Mr. Hamilton and Mr. Freeland came up to Easton, and took Charles, the two Henrys, and John, out of jail, and carried them home, leaving me alone. I regarded this separation as a final one. It caused me more pain than any thing else in the whole transaction. I was ready for any thing rather than separation. I supposed that they had consulted together, and had decided that, as I was the whole cause of the intention of the others to run away, it was hard to make the innocent suffer with the guilty; and that they had, therefore, concluded to take the others home, and sell me, as a warning to the others that remained. It is due to the noble Henry to say, he seemed almost as reluctant at leaving the prison as at leaving home to come to the prison. But we knew we should, in all probability, be separated, if we were sold; and since he was in their hands, he concluded to go peaceably home.

While we were in jail, we found ourselves in much more comfortable conditions than we expected. We didn’t get much to eat, and what we did get wasn’t very tasty; but we had a clean room from which we could see what was happening on the street, which was way better than if we had been stuck in a dark, damp cell. Overall, we managed pretty well, considering the jail and its keeper. Right after the holidays, unexpectedly, Mr. Hamilton and Mr. Freeland came to Easton and took Charles, the two Henries, and John out of jail and brought them home, leaving me behind. I saw this separation as final. It hurt me more than anything else in the whole situation. I would have preferred anything over being separated. I thought they must have talked it over and decided that since I was the sole reason for the others wanting to escape, it wouldn’t be fair to make the innocent suffer with the guilty; so they concluded to take the others home and leave me as a warning to those who stayed. I have to mention that the noble Henry looked almost as reluctant to leave the prison as he had been to leave home to come to the prison. But we knew we would probably be separated if we were sold, and since he was in their hands, he decided to go home quietly.

I was now left to my fate. I was all alone, and within the walls of a stone prison. But a few days before, and I was full of hope. I expected to have been safe in a land of freedom; but now I was covered with gloom, sunk down to the utmost despair. I thought the possibility of freedom was gone. I was kept in this way about one week, at the end of which, Captain Auld, my master, to my surprise and utter astonishment, came up, and took me out, with the intention of sending me, with a gentleman of his acquaintance, into Alabama. But, from some cause or other, he did not send me to Alabama, but concluded to send me back to Baltimore, to live again with his brother Hugh, and to learn a trade.

I was now left to face my fate. I was all alone, trapped within the walls of a stone prison. Just a few days earlier, I was full of hope. I thought I would be safe in a land of freedom, but now I was engulfed in gloom, plunged into deep despair. I believed the chance of freedom was lost. I stayed in this situation for about a week, until, to my surprise and disbelief, Captain Auld, my master, came to get me, intending to send me with a man he knew to Alabama. But for some reason, he changed his mind and decided to send me back to Baltimore, to live again with his brother Hugh and learn a trade.

Thus, after an absence of three years and one month, I was once more permitted to return to my old home at Baltimore. My master sent me away, because there existed against me a very great prejudice in the community, and he feared I might be killed.

Thus, after being away for three years and one month, I was finally allowed to go back to my old home in Baltimore. My master sent me away because there was a lot of prejudice against me in the community, and he was worried I might be killed.

In a few weeks after I went to Baltimore, Master Hugh hired me to Mr. William Gardner, an extensive ship-builder, on Fell’s Point. I was put there to learn how to calk. It, however, proved a very unfavorable place for the accomplishment of this object. Mr. Gardner was engaged that spring in building two large man-of-war brigs, professedly for the Mexican government. The vessels were to be launched in the July of that year, and in failure thereof, Mr. Gardner was to lose a considerable sum; so that when I entered, all was hurry. There was no time to learn any thing. Every man had to do that which he knew how to do. In entering the shipyard, my orders from Mr. Gardner were, to do whatever the carpenters commanded me to do. This was placing me at the beck and call of about seventy-five men. I was to regard all these as masters. Their word was to be my law. My situation was a most trying one. At times I needed a dozen pair of hands. I was called a dozen ways in the space of a single minute. Three or four voices would strike my ear at the same moment. It was—“Fred., come help me to cant this timber here.”—“Fred., come carry this timber yonder.”—“Fred., bring that roller here.”—“Fred., go get a fresh can of water.”—“Fred., come help saw off the end of this timber.”—“Fred., go quick, and get the crowbar.”—“Fred., hold on the end of this fall.”—“Fred., go to the blacksmith’s shop, and get a new punch.”—“Hurra, Fred! run and bring me a cold chisel.”—“I say, Fred., bear a hand, and get up a fire as quick as lightning under that steam-box.”—“Halloo, nigger! come, turn this grindstone.”—“Come, come! move, move! and bowse this timber forward.”—“I say, darky, blast your eyes, why don’t you heat up some pitch?”—“Halloo! halloo! halloo!” (Three voices at the same time.) “Come here!—Go there!—Hold on where you are! Damn you, if you move, I’ll knock your brains out!”

In a few weeks after I got to Baltimore, Master Hugh hired me out to Mr. William Gardner, a big shipbuilder at Fell’s Point. I was put there to learn how to caulk. However, it turned out to be a really tough place for that. Mr. Gardner was busy that spring building two large war brigs supposedly for the Mexican government. The ships were supposed to be launched that July, and if they weren’t, Mr. Gardner was set to lose a lot of money, so there was a frantic rush when I started. There was no time to learn anything. Every man had to do what he already knew how to do. When I entered the shipyard, Mr. Gardner told me to do whatever the carpenters asked. This meant I was at the mercy of about seventy-five men. I had to see all of them as my bosses. Their commands were my law. My situation was incredibly stressful. Sometimes I felt like I needed a dozen extra hands. I was pulled in countless directions in just a minute. Three or four voices would call out to me all at once. It was—“Fred, come help me move this timber here.”—“Fred, come carry this timber over there.”—“Fred, bring that roller here.”—“Fred, go get a fresh can of water.”—“Fred, help saw off the end of this timber.”—“Fred, hurry and get the crowbar.”—“Fred, hold on to the end of this fall.”—“Fred, go to the blacksmith’s shop and get a new punch.”—“Hey, Fred! run and bring me a cold chisel.”—“I’m telling you, Fred, hurry and start a fire under that steam box as fast as you can.”—“Hey, you! come turn this grindstone.”—“Come on! Move, move! and pull this timber forward.”—“Listen, why don’t you heat up some pitch?”—“Hey! hey! hey!” (Three voices at the same time.) “Come here!—Go there!—Hold still where you are! Damn it, if you move, I’ll knock your brains out!”

This was my school for eight months; and I might have remained there longer, but for a most horrid fight I had with four of the white apprentices, in which my left eye was nearly knocked out, and I was horribly mangled in other respects. The facts in the case were these: Until a very little while after I went there, white and black ship-carpenters worked side by side, and no one seemed to see any impropriety in it. All hands seemed to be very well satisfied. Many of the black carpenters were freemen. Things seemed to be going on very well. All at once, the white carpenters knocked off, and said they would not work with free colored workmen. Their reason for this, as alleged, was, that if free colored carpenters were encouraged, they would soon take the trade into their own hands, and poor white men would be thrown out of employment. They therefore felt called upon at once to put a stop to it. And, taking advantage of Mr. Gardner’s necessities, they broke off, swearing they would work no longer, unless he would discharge his black carpenters. Now, though this did not extend to me in form, it did reach me in fact. My fellow-apprentices very soon began to feel it degrading to them to work with me. They began to put on airs, and talk about the “niggers” taking the country, saying we all ought to be killed; and, being encouraged by the journeymen, they commenced making my condition as hard as they could, by hectoring me around, and sometimes striking me. I, of course, kept the vow I made after the fight with Mr. Covey, and struck back again, regardless of consequences; and while I kept them from combining, I succeeded very well; for I could whip the whole of them, taking them separately. They, however, at length combined, and came upon me, armed with sticks, stones, and heavy handspikes. One came in front with a half brick. There was one at each side of me, and one behind me. While I was attending to those in front, and on either side, the one behind ran up with the handspike, and struck me a heavy blow upon the head. It stunned me. I fell, and with this they all ran upon me, and fell to beating me with their fists. I let them lay on for a while, gathering strength. In an instant, I gave a sudden surge, and rose to my hands and knees. Just as I did that, one of their number gave me, with his heavy boot, a powerful kick in the left eye. My eyeball seemed to have burst. When they saw my eye closed, and badly swollen, they left me. With this I seized the handspike, and for a time pursued them. But here the carpenters interfered, and I thought I might as well give it up. It was impossible to stand my hand against so many. All this took place in sight of not less than fifty white ship-carpenters, and not one interposed a friendly word; but some cried, “Kill the damned nigger! Kill him! kill him! He struck a white person.” I found my only chance for life was in flight. I succeeded in getting away without an additional blow, and barely so; for to strike a white man is death by Lynch law,—and that was the law in Mr. Gardner’s ship-yard; nor is there much of any other out of Mr. Gardner’s ship-yard.

This was my school for eight months, and I might have stayed longer, but I got into a terrible fight with four of the white apprentices, during which my left eye was nearly knocked out, and I was badly beaten up otherwise. Here’s what happened: Not long after I arrived, white and black ship carpenters worked side by side without anyone thinking it was wrong. Everyone seemed pretty content. Many of the black carpenters were free men. Everything seemed to be running smoothly. Then suddenly, the white carpenters stopped working and declared they wouldn’t work with free black workers anymore. Their reason, as they claimed, was that if free black carpenters were encouraged, they might soon take over the trade, leaving poor white men unemployed. So, they felt it was necessary to put a stop to it. Taking advantage of Mr. Gardner’s situation, they quit, insisting he fire his black carpenters. Although this didn’t technically apply to me, it affected me nonetheless. My fellow apprentices soon began to see it as beneath them to work with me. They started acting superior and talking about “niggers” taking over the country, saying we should all be killed; and with encouragement from the journeymen, they started to make my life as miserable as possible by harassing me and sometimes hitting me. I, of course, kept the promise I made after the fight with Mr. Covey and fought back, no matter the consequences; I managed to keep them from banding together because I could take each of them on individually. However, eventually, they teamed up against me, armed with sticks, stones, and heavy handspikes. One came right at me with a half brick. There was one on each side of me and one behind me. While I was focused on those in front and beside me, the one behind me swung the handspike and hit me hard on the head, stunning me. I fell, and they all jumped on me, starting to beat me with their fists. I let them hit me for a bit, gathering strength. Suddenly, I surged up to my hands and knees. Just as I did, one of them kicked me hard in the left eye with his heavy boot. It felt like my eyeball had burst. When they saw my eye closed and badly swollen, they backed off. I grabbed the handspike and chased after them for a bit. But the carpenters interfered, and I realized it was pointless to keep fighting. I couldn’t take on so many at once. All of this happened in front of at least fifty white ship carpenters, and not one of them said a word in my defense; some shouted, “Kill the damned nigger! Kill him! He hit a white person.” I realized my only chance for survival was to run. I managed to escape without taking another hit, just barely; because hitting a white man could mean death by lynching, and that was the rule in Mr. Gardner’s shipyard, as it often was outside of it as well.

I went directly home, and told the story of my wrongs to Master Hugh; and I am happy to say of him, irreligious as he was, his conduct was heavenly, compared with that of his brother Thomas under similar circumstances. He listened attentively to my narration of the circumstances leading to the savage outrage, and gave many proofs of his strong indignation at it. The heart of my once overkind mistress was again melted into pity. My puffed-out eye and blood-covered face moved her to tears. She took a chair by me, washed the blood from my face, and, with a mother’s tenderness, bound up my head, covering the wounded eye with a lean piece of fresh beef. It was almost compensation for my suffering to witness, once more, a manifestation of kindness from this, my once affectionate old mistress. Master Hugh was very much enraged. He gave expression to his feelings by pouring out curses upon the heads of those who did the deed. As soon as I got a little the better of my bruises, he took me with him to Esquire Watson’s, on Bond Street, to see what could be done about the matter. Mr. Watson inquired who saw the assault committed. Master Hugh told him it was done in Mr. Gardner’s ship-yard at midday, where there were a large company of men at work. “As to that,” he said, “the deed was done, and there was no question as to who did it.” His answer was, he could do nothing in the case, unless some white man would come forward and testify. He could issue no warrant on my word. If I had been killed in the presence of a thousand colored people, their testimony combined would have been insufficient to have arrested one of the murderers. Master Hugh, for once, was compelled to say this state of things was too bad. Of course, it was impossible to get any white man to volunteer his testimony in my behalf, and against the white young men. Even those who may have sympathized with me were not prepared to do this. It required a degree of courage unknown to them to do so; for just at that time, the slightest manifestation of humanity toward a colored person was denounced as abolitionism, and that name subjected its bearer to frightful liabilities. The watchwords of the bloody-minded in that region, and in those days, were, “Damn the abolitionists!” and “Damn the niggers!” There was nothing done, and probably nothing would have been done if I had been killed. Such was, and such remains, the state of things in the Christian city of Baltimore.

I went straight home and told Master Hugh about what happened to me. I’m glad to say that, despite his flaws, he acted better than his brother Thomas would have in the same situation. He listened closely as I recounted the brutal attack and showed a lot of anger about it. My once overly kind mistress felt pity for me again. Seeing my swollen eye and bloodied face brought her to tears. She sat next to me, cleaned the blood off my face, and, with a mother’s care, bandaged my head, using a piece of fresh beef to cover the injured eye. It almost made up for my pain to see her show kindness again after all this time. Master Hugh was really upset. He expressed his feelings by cursing those responsible for the attack. Once I felt a bit better from my injuries, he took me to Esquire Watson’s on Bond Street to see what could be done. Mr. Watson asked who witnessed the assault. Master Hugh explained that it happened in Mr. Gardner’s shipyard at midday, where many men were working. “Regardless,” Mr. Watson said, “the deed is done, and there’s no doubt about who did it.” He told us he couldn’t help unless a white man was willing to come forward as a witness. He couldn’t issue a warrant based on my word. If I had been killed in front of a thousand Black people, their testimonies wouldn’t be enough to arrest any of the murderers. For once, Master Hugh had to admit that this situation was terrible. Of course, it was impossible to find a white man willing to testify for me against the white young men. Even those who might have felt sympathy for me were not willing to do that. It took a level of bravery they didn’t have because, at that time, showing any humanity toward a Black person was seen as supporting abolition, and that label came with terrifying risks. The rallying cries of the violent-minded people back then were “Damn the abolitionists!” and “Damn the niggers!” Nothing was done, and probably nothing would have been done, even if I had been killed. Such was, and such remains, the situation in the supposedly Christian city of Baltimore.

Master Hugh, finding he could get no redress, refused to let me go back again to Mr. Gardner. He kept me himself, and his wife dressed my wound till I was again restored to health. He then took me into the ship-yard of which he was foreman, in the employment of Mr. Walter Price. There I was immediately set to calking, and very soon learned the art of using my mallet and irons. In the course of one year from the time I left Mr. Gardner’s, I was able to command the highest wages given to the most experienced calkers. I was now of some importance to my master. I was bringing him from six to seven dollars per week. I sometimes brought him nine dollars per week: my wages were a dollar and a half a day. After learning how to calk, I sought my own employment, made my own contracts, and collected the money which I earned. My pathway became much more smooth than before; my condition was now much more comfortable. When I could get no calking to do, I did nothing. During these leisure times, those old notions about freedom would steal over me again. When in Mr. Gardner’s employment, I was kept in such a perpetual whirl of excitement, I could think of nothing, scarcely, but my life; and in thinking of my life, I almost forgot my liberty. I have observed this in my experience of slavery,—that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only increased my desire to be free, and set me to thinking of plans to gain my freedom. I have found that, to make a contented slave, it is necessary to make a thoughtless one. It is necessary to darken his moral and mental vision, and, as far as possible, to annihilate the power of reason. He must be able to detect no inconsistencies in slavery; he must be made to feel that slavery is right; and he can be brought to that only when he ceases to be a man.

Master Hugh, realizing he couldn't get any help, wouldn't let me return to Mr. Gardner. He kept me himself, and his wife treated my wound until I was healthy again. He then took me to the shipyard where he was the foreman, working for Mr. Walter Price. I was immediately assigned to calking and quickly learned how to use my mallet and tools. Within a year of leaving Mr. Gardner's, I was able to earn the highest wages given to the most experienced calkers. I was now important to my master, bringing him six to seven dollars a week, and sometimes even nine dollars. My wages were a dollar and a half a day. After learning how to calk, I sought my own work, made my own contracts, and collected the money I earned. My path became much smoother than before, and my situation was now much more comfortable. When I didn't have calking to do, I did nothing. During these free moments, those old thoughts about freedom would come back to me. While working for Mr. Gardner, I was so caught up in the chaos that I barely thought about anything except my life; and in thinking about my life, I almost forgot about my liberty. I've noticed in my experience of slavery that whenever my situation improved, instead of making me more content, it heightened my desire to be free and made me think of ways to achieve that. I've realized that to create a contented slave, you need to create a thoughtless one. It's essential to cloud his moral and mental understanding and, as much as possible, eliminate his ability to reason. He must not see any contradictions in slavery; he needs to feel that slavery is justified, which can only happen when he stops being seen as a human being.

I was now getting, as I have said, one dollar and fifty cents per day. I contracted for it; I earned it; it was paid to me; it was rightfully my own; yet, upon each returning Saturday night, I was compelled to deliver every cent of that money to Master Hugh. And why? Not because he earned it,—not because he had any hand in earning it,—not because I owed it to him,—nor because he possessed the slightest shadow of a right to it; but solely because he had the power to compel me to give it up. The right of the grim-visaged pirate upon the high seas is exactly the same.

I was now earning, as I mentioned, one dollar and fifty cents a day. I had made a deal for it; I worked for it; it was paid to me; it was rightfully mine; yet, every Saturday night, I had to hand over every cent of that money to Master Hugh. And why? Not because he earned it, not because he did anything to earn it, not because I owed it to him, nor because he had any right to it; but simply because he had the power to force me to give it up. The right of a grim-looking pirate on the open sea is exactly the same.

CHAPTER XI

I now come to that part of my life during which I planned, and finally succeeded in making, my escape from slavery. But before narrating any of the peculiar circumstances, I deem it proper to make known my intention not to state all the facts connected with the transaction. My reasons for pursuing this course may be understood from the following: First, were I to give a minute statement of all the facts, it is not only possible, but quite probable, that others would thereby be involved in the most embarrassing difficulties. Secondly, such a statement would most undoubtedly induce greater vigilance on the part of slaveholders than has existed heretofore among them; which would, of course, be the means of guarding a door whereby some dear brother bondman might escape his galling chains. I deeply regret the necessity that impels me to suppress any thing of importance connected with my experience in slavery. It would afford me great pleasure indeed, as well as materially add to the interest of my narrative, were I at liberty to gratify a curiosity, which I know exists in the minds of many, by an accurate statement of all the facts pertaining to my most fortunate escape. But I must deprive myself of this pleasure, and the curious of the gratification which such a statement would afford. I would allow myself to suffer under the greatest imputations which evil-minded men might suggest, rather than exculpate myself, and thereby run the hazard of closing the slightest avenue by which a brother slave might clear himself of the chains and fetters of slavery.

I now turn to the part of my life when I planned and ultimately succeeded in escaping from slavery. Before I share the unique circumstances, I feel it's important to say that I won’t reveal all the details surrounding this event. You can understand my reasons for this from what I’ll explain next. First, if I were to provide a detailed account of everything that happened, it’s not only possible but likely that others could end up in some serious trouble. Second, sharing all the details would definitely lead to increased vigilance among slaveholders, making it harder for someone else to escape from their painful situation. I really regret having to withhold any important aspects of my experience in slavery. It would bring me great joy, and significantly enhance the interest of my story, if I could satisfy the curiosity that many have about the specifics of my escape. But I have to forgo that pleasure, as well as deny the curious the satisfaction that such details would provide. I would rather endure serious accusations from malicious individuals than clear my name and risk closing even the smallest opportunity for a fellow enslaved person to free themselves from the bonds of slavery.

I have never approved of the very public manner in which some of our western friends have conducted what they call the underground railroad, but which I think, by their open declarations, has been made most emphatically the upperground railroad. I honor those good men and women for their noble daring, and applaud them for willingly subjecting themselves to bloody persecution, by openly avowing their participation in the escape of slaves. I, however, can see very little good resulting from such a course, either to themselves or the slaves escaping; while, upon the other hand, I see and feel assured that those open declarations are a positive evil to the slaves remaining, who are seeking to escape. They do nothing towards enlightening the slave, whilst they do much towards enlightening the master. They stimulate him to greater watchfulness, and enhance his power to capture his slave. We owe something to the slave south of the line as well as to those north of it; and in aiding the latter on their way to freedom, we should be careful to do nothing which would be likely to hinder the former from escaping from slavery. I would keep the merciless slaveholder profoundly ignorant of the means of flight adopted by the slave. I would leave him to imagine himself surrounded by myriads of invisible tormentors, ever ready to snatch from his infernal grasp his trembling prey. Let him be left to feel his way in the dark; let darkness commensurate with his crime hover over him; and let him feel that at every step he takes, in pursuit of the flying bondman, he is running the frightful risk of having his hot brains dashed out by an invisible agency. Let us render the tyrant no aid; let us not hold the light by which he can trace the footprints of our flying brother. But enough of this. I will now proceed to the statement of those facts, connected with my escape, for which I am alone responsible, and for which no one can be made to suffer but myself.

I have never liked the very public way some of our western friends have carried out what they call the underground railroad, which I believe, through their open declarations, has become most clearly the upperground railroad. I respect those good men and women for their courageous actions and admire them for putting themselves at risk of violent persecution by openly admitting their role in helping slaves escape. However, I see very little benefit from this approach, either for themselves or for the escaping slaves; on the contrary, I am sure that these open declarations harm the slaves who are still trying to escape. They don't help the enslaved see the truth, but they do inform the master. They make him more alert and give him more power to catch his slave. We owe something to the slaves south of the line as well as to those north of it; and while assisting the latter in their journey to freedom, we should be careful not to do anything that would hinder the former from escaping slavery. I would keep the ruthless slaveholder completely unaware of the escape methods used by the enslaved. I would let him think he’s surrounded by countless unseen tormentors, always ready to rescue his trembling victim from his cruel grasp. Let him navigate in darkness; let the shadow of his crime loom over him; and let him feel that with every step he takes in pursuit of the escaping slave, he risks having his own brains blown out by an invisible force. Let’s not provide any help to the tyrant; let’s not shine the light that allows him to follow the tracks of our fleeing brother. But enough of this. I will now share the facts surrounding my escape, for which I alone am responsible, and for which no one else should have to suffer.

In the early part of the year 1838, I became quite restless. I could see no reason why I should, at the end of each week, pour the reward of my toil into the purse of my master. When I carried to him my weekly wages, he would, after counting the money, look me in the face with a robber-like fierceness, and ask, “Is this all?” He was satisfied with nothing less than the last cent. He would, however, when I made him six dollars, sometimes give me six cents, to encourage me. It had the opposite effect. I regarded it as a sort of admission of my right to the whole. The fact that he gave me any part of my wages was proof, to my mind, that he believed me entitled to the whole of them. I always felt worse for having received any thing; for I feared that the giving me a few cents would ease his conscience, and make him feel himself to be a pretty honorable sort of robber. My discontent grew upon me. I was ever on the look-out for means of escape; and, finding no direct means, I determined to try to hire my time, with a view of getting money with which to make my escape. In the spring of 1838, when Master Thomas came to Baltimore to purchase his spring goods, I got an opportunity, and applied to him to allow me to hire my time. He unhesitatingly refused my request, and told me this was another stratagem by which to escape. He told me I could go nowhere but that he could get me; and that, in the event of my running away, he should spare no pains in his efforts to catch me. He exhorted me to content myself, and be obedient. He told me, if I would be happy, I must lay out no plans for the future. He said, if I behaved myself properly, he would take care of me. Indeed, he advised me to complete thoughtlessness of the future, and taught me to depend solely upon him for happiness. He seemed to see fully the pressing necessity of setting aside my intellectual nature, in order to contentment in slavery. But in spite of him, and even in spite of myself, I continued to think, and to think about the injustice of my enslavement, and the means of escape.

In early 1838, I started to feel really restless. I didn’t understand why I had to hand over my hard-earned money to my master at the end of each week. When I gave him my pay, he would count it, look me in the eye with a harsh intensity, and ask, “Is this all?” He wasn’t satisfied unless he had every last cent. However, when I made six dollars, he sometimes handed me six cents to motivate me, but it had the opposite effect. I saw it as a sort of acknowledgment that I deserved the entire amount. The fact that he gave me any of my wages convinced me he thought I was entitled to all of it. Receiving anything from him only made me feel worse because I worried that giving me a few cents would make him feel like a somewhat honorable thief. My discontent grew stronger. I was always looking for ways to escape, and when I couldn’t find any direct options, I decided to try to rent my time to earn money for my getaway. In the spring of 1838, when Master Thomas came to Baltimore to buy his spring goods, I seized the chance and asked him to let me hire my time. He flatly denied my request and said it was just another trick to escape. He told me there was nowhere I could go that he couldn’t find me, and if I ran away, he would spare no effort to catch me. He urged me to be content and obedient. He said if I wanted to be happy, I shouldn’t make any plans for the future. He promised he would take care of me if I behaved myself. In fact, he advised me to completely disregard the future and rely on him for happiness. He clearly understood the pressing need for me to suppress my intellect to find contentment in slavery. But despite him, and even despite myself, I kept thinking about the injustice of my situation and how to escape.

About two months after this, I applied to Master Hugh for the privilege of hiring my time. He was not acquainted with the fact that I had applied to Master Thomas, and had been refused. He too, at first, seemed disposed to refuse; but, after some reflection, he granted me the privilege, and proposed the following terms: I was to be allowed all my time, make all contracts with those for whom I worked, and find my own employment; and, in return for this liberty, I was to pay him three dollars at the end of each week; find myself in calking tools, and in board and clothing. My board was two dollars and a half per week. This, with the wear and tear of clothing and calking tools, made my regular expenses about six dollars per week. This amount I was compelled to make up, or relinquish the privilege of hiring my time. Rain or shine, work or no work, at the end of each week the money must be forthcoming, or I must give up my privilege. This arrangement, it will be perceived, was decidedly in my master’s favor. It relieved him of all need of looking after me. His money was sure. He received all the benefits of slaveholding without its evils; while I endured all the evils of a slave, and suffered all the care and anxiety of a freeman. I found it a hard bargain. But, hard as it was, I thought it better than the old mode of getting along. It was a step towards freedom to be allowed to bear the responsibilities of a freeman, and I was determined to hold on upon it. I bent myself to the work of making money. I was ready to work at night as well as day, and by the most untiring perseverance and industry, I made enough to meet my expenses, and lay up a little money every week. I went on thus from May till August. Master Hugh then refused to allow me to hire my time longer. The ground for his refusal was a failure on my part, one Saturday night, to pay him for my week’s time. This failure was occasioned by my attending a camp meeting about ten miles from Baltimore. During the week, I had entered into an engagement with a number of young friends to start from Baltimore to the camp ground early Saturday evening; and being detained by my employer, I was unable to get down to Master Hugh’s without disappointing the company. I knew that Master Hugh was in no special need of the money that night. I therefore decided to go to camp meeting, and upon my return pay him the three dollars. I staid at the camp meeting one day longer than I intended when I left. But as soon as I returned, I called upon him to pay him what he considered his due. I found him very angry; he could scarce restrain his wrath. He said he had a great mind to give me a severe whipping. He wished to know how I dared go out of the city without asking his permission. I told him I hired my time and while I paid him the price which he asked for it, I did not know that I was bound to ask him when and where I should go. This reply troubled him; and, after reflecting a few moments, he turned to me, and said I should hire my time no longer; that the next thing he should know of, I would be running away. Upon the same plea, he told me to bring my tools and clothing home forthwith. I did so; but instead of seeking work, as I had been accustomed to do previously to hiring my time, I spent the whole week without the performance of a single stroke of work. I did this in retaliation. Saturday night, he called upon me as usual for my week’s wages. I told him I had no wages; I had done no work that week. Here we were upon the point of coming to blows. He raved, and swore his determination to get hold of me. I did not allow myself a single word; but was resolved, if he laid the weight of his hand upon me, it should be blow for blow. He did not strike me, but told me that he would find me in constant employment in future. I thought the matter over during the next day, Sunday, and finally resolved upon the third day of September, as the day upon which I would make a second attempt to secure my freedom. I now had three weeks during which to prepare for my journey. Early on Monday morning, before Master Hugh had time to make any engagement for me, I went out and got employment of Mr. Butler, at his ship-yard near the drawbridge, upon what is called the City Block, thus making it unnecessary for him to seek employment for me. At the end of the week, I brought him between eight and nine dollars. He seemed very well pleased, and asked why I did not do the same the week before. He little knew what my plans were. My object in working steadily was to remove any suspicion he might entertain of my intent to run away; and in this I succeeded admirably. I suppose he thought I was never better satisfied with my condition than at the very time during which I was planning my escape. The second week passed, and again I carried him my full wages; and so well pleased was he, that he gave me twenty-five cents, (quite a large sum for a slaveholder to give a slave,) and bade me to make a good use of it. I told him I would.

About two months later, I asked Master Hugh for the chance to hire my own time. He didn’t know that I’d previously asked Master Thomas and was turned down. At first, he also seemed ready to refuse, but after thinking it over, he agreed and suggested the following terms: I would be allowed all my time, make all agreements with the people I worked for, and find my own jobs. In exchange for this freedom, I would pay him three dollars at the end of each week and cover my own costs for calking tools, board, and clothing. My board cost two dollars and fifty cents a week. Adding in the wear and tear on my clothes and tools, my regular expenses came to about six dollars each week. I had to earn that amount, or I would lose the right to hire my own time. Rain or shine, with work or without, I had to produce the money at the week's end, or I’d have to give up that privilege. This arrangement was clearly in my master’s favor. It freed him from needing to look after me. His money was guaranteed. He enjoyed all the benefits of slaveholding without the drawbacks, while I dealt with all the troubles of a slave and faced all the worries of a free man. I found it a tough deal, but despite its difficulties, I thought it was better than the old way of doing things. It was a step toward freedom to take on the responsibilities of a free person, and I was determined to stick with it. I committed myself to the work of earning money. I was willing to work nights as well as days, and through tireless perseverance and hard work, I made enough to cover my expenses and save a bit of money every week. I kept this up from May to August. Then Master Hugh refused to let me hire my time any longer. His reason for refusal was that I hadn’t paid him for my week’s time one Saturday night. This happened because I was at a camp meeting about ten miles from Baltimore. During the week, I’d made plans with some friends to leave Baltimore for the camp ground early Saturday evening, but I was held up by my work and couldn’t get to Master Hugh’s place without letting my friends down. I figured Master Hugh didn’t really need the money that night, so I decided to go to the camp meeting and planned to pay him the three dollars when I returned. I ended up staying at the camp meeting a day longer than I intended. But as soon as I got back, I went to pay him what he thought I owed him. I found him really angry; he was struggling to control his temper. He said he felt like giving me a severe beating. He wanted to know how I dared leave the city without asking his permission. I told him I had hired my time, and as long as I was paying what he asked, I didn’t think I was required to ask him when and where I could go. My answer troubled him; after thinking for a moment, he told me I could no longer hire my time and that the next thing he’d know, I would be running away. He then ordered me to bring my tools and clothing home immediately. I did, but instead of looking for work like I usually did before hiring my time, I spent the entire week without doing any work at all. I did this in defiance. On Saturday night, he came to collect my week’s wages as usual. I told him I didn’t have any wages because I hadn’t worked that week. We were close to fighting. He yelled and swore that he’d get ahold of me. I didn’t say anything back; I was determined that if he laid a hand on me, I would strike back. He didn’t hit me but said he would find me constant work from then on. I thought it over the next day, Sunday, and ultimately chose September 3rd as the day I would make a second attempt to gain my freedom. I now had three weeks to get ready for my journey. Early on Monday morning, before Master Hugh had time to set up any work for me, I went out and got a job with Mr. Butler at his shipyard near the drawbridge on what’s called the City Block, removing the need for him to find work for me. At the end of the week, I brought him between eight and nine dollars. He seemed really pleased and asked why I hadn’t done the same the week before. He had no idea what my plans were. My aim in working steadily was to dispel any suspicion he may have had about my intention to run away, and I was very successful at that. I guess he thought I was never more content with my situation than when I was actually planning my escape. The second week went by, and again I gave him my full wages; he was so pleased that he gave me twenty-five cents (which was quite a generous amount for a slaveholder to give to a slave) and told me to make good use of it. I replied that I would.

Things went on without very smoothly indeed, but within there was trouble. It is impossible for me to describe my feelings as the time of my contemplated start drew near. I had a number of warmhearted friends in Baltimore,—friends that I loved almost as I did my life,—and the thought of being separated from them forever was painful beyond expression. It is my opinion that thousands would escape from slavery, who now remain, but for the strong cords of affection that bind them to their friends. The thought of leaving my friends was decidedly the most painful thought with which I had to contend. The love of them was my tender point, and shook my decision more than all things else. Besides the pain of separation, the dread and apprehension of a failure exceeded what I had experienced at my first attempt. The appalling defeat I then sustained returned to torment me. I felt assured that, if I failed in this attempt, my case would be a hopeless one—it would seal my fate as a slave forever. I could not hope to get off with any thing less than the severest punishment, and being placed beyond the means of escape. It required no very vivid imagination to depict the most frightful scenes through which I should have to pass, in case I failed. The wretchedness of slavery, and the blessedness of freedom, were perpetually before me. It was life and death with me. But I remained firm, and, according to my resolution, on the third day of September, 1838, I left my chains, and succeeded in reaching New York without the slightest interruption of any kind. How I did so,—what means I adopted,—what direction I travelled, and by what mode of conveyance,—I must leave unexplained, for the reasons before mentioned.

Things went on quite smoothly, but inside, there was trouble. I can't express how I felt as the time to leave drew near. I had many close friends in Baltimore—friends I loved almost as much as my life—and the thought of being separated from them forever was incredibly painful. I believe that thousands would escape from slavery, who currently stay, if it weren't for the deep ties of affection that keep them close to their friends. The thought of leaving my friends was by far the hardest thing I had to deal with. My love for them was my weak spot, and it shook my resolve more than anything else. Besides the pain of parting, the fear and anxiety of failure were worse than what I felt during my first attempt. The horrific defeat I faced then continued to haunt me. I was convinced that if I failed this time, there would be no hope for me—it would seal my fate as a slave forever. I could expect nothing less than the harshest punishment, leaving me without any chance of escape. It didn’t take much imagination to picture the most terrifying situations I would face if I failed. The misery of slavery and the joy of freedom constantly weighed on my mind. It was a matter of life and death for me. But I stayed determined, and on September 3, 1838, I broke free and made it to New York without a single interruption. How I did it—what methods I used—what route I took, and how I traveled—I must leave unexplained for the reasons already mentioned.

I have been frequently asked how I felt when I found myself in a free State. I have never been able to answer the question with any satisfaction to myself. It was a moment of the highest excitement I ever experienced. I suppose I felt as one may imagine the unarmed mariner to feel when he is rescued by a friendly man-of-war from the pursuit of a pirate. In writing to a dear friend, immediately after my arrival at New York, I said I felt like one who had escaped a den of hungry lions. This state of mind, however, very soon subsided; and I was again seized with a feeling of great insecurity and loneliness. I was yet liable to be taken back, and subjected to all the tortures of slavery. This in itself was enough to damp the ardor of my enthusiasm. But the loneliness overcame me. There I was in the midst of thousands, and yet a perfect stranger; without home and without friends, in the midst of thousands of my own brethren—children of a common Father, and yet I dared not to unfold to any one of them my sad condition. I was afraid to speak to any one for fear of speaking to the wrong one, and thereby falling into the hands of money-loving kidnappers, whose business it was to lie in wait for the panting fugitive, as the ferocious beasts of the forest lie in wait for their prey. The motto which I adopted when I started from slavery was this—“Trust no man!” I saw in every white man an enemy, and in almost every colored man cause for distrust. It was a most painful situation; and, to understand it, one must needs experience it, or imagine himself in similar circumstances. Let him be a fugitive slave in a strange land—a land given up to be the hunting-ground for slaveholders—whose inhabitants are legalized kidnappers—where he is every moment subjected to the terrible liability of being seized upon by his fellowmen, as the hideous crocodile seizes upon his prey!—I say, let him place himself in my situation—without home or friends—without money or credit—wanting shelter, and no one to give it—wanting bread, and no money to buy it,—and at the same time let him feel that he is pursued by merciless men-hunters, and in total darkness as to what to do, where to go, or where to stay,—perfectly helpless both as to the means of defence and means of escape,—in the midst of plenty, yet suffering the terrible gnawings of hunger,—in the midst of houses, yet having no home,—among fellow-men, yet feeling as if in the midst of wild beasts, whose greediness to swallow up the trembling and half-famished fugitive is only equalled by that with which the monsters of the deep swallow up the helpless fish upon which they subsist,—I say, let him be placed in this most trying situation,—the situation in which I was placed,—then, and not till then, will he fully appreciate the hardships of, and know how to sympathize with, the toil-worn and whip-scarred fugitive slave.

I’ve often been asked how I felt when I found myself in a free state. I’ve never been able to answer that question in a way that satisfies me. It was the most exhilarating moment I’ve ever experienced. I imagine it feels something like how an unarmed sailor must feel when he's rescued by a friendly warship from a pirate’s pursuit. In a letter to a dear friend right after I arrived in New York, I said I felt like someone who had escaped from a den of hungry lions. However, that feeling didn’t last long; I soon became overwhelmed with insecurity and loneliness. I was still at risk of being taken back and subjected to all the tortures of slavery. This alone was enough to dampen my excitement. But the loneliness was even worse. There I was, among thousands of people, yet I felt completely like a stranger; without a home and without friends, surrounded by thousands of my own people—children of a common Father—and yet I didn’t dare share my sad situation with any of them. I was afraid to talk to anyone, fearing I might speak to the wrong person and end up in the hands of money-hungry kidnappers, who were waiting to pounce on desperate fugitives like ferocious animals in the wild. The motto I adopted when I escaped from slavery was “Trust no one!” I saw every white man as a potential enemy and found cause for distrust in almost every colored man. It was an incredibly painful situation; to really understand it, one would need to experience it or imagine themselves in a similar position. Just picture being a fugitive slave in an unfamiliar land—a place where slaveholders roam freely and the locals are licensed kidnappers—where every moment brings the dread of being captured by fellow humans like a crocodile seizing its prey! Imagine being in my situation—without home or friends—without money or credit—looking for shelter with no one to provide it—hungry, with no money to buy food—and at the same time knowing that merciless men were hunting me down, completely lost about what to do, where to go, or where to stay—utterly helpless in defending myself or escaping—among abundance, but suffering the intense pangs of hunger—surrounded by houses yet having no home—among fellow humans, yet feeling like I was in the midst of wild beasts, with a greedy desire to consume the trembling, half-starved fugitive that could be matched only by that of deep-sea monsters devouring innocent fish—if someone could truly be placed in that most desperate situation—the same situation I faced—then, and only then, would they fully appreciate the hardships of, and know how to sympathize with, the tired and scarred fugitive slave.

Thank Heaven, I remained but a short time in this distressed situation. I was relieved from it by the humane hand of Mr. David Ruggles, whose vigilance, kindness, and perseverance, I shall never forget. I am glad of an opportunity to express, as far as words can, the love and gratitude I bear him. Mr. Ruggles is now afflicted with blindness, and is himself in need of the same kind offices which he was once so forward in the performance of toward others. I had been in New York but a few days, when Mr. Ruggles sought me out, and very kindly took me to his boarding-house at the corner of Church and Lespenard Streets. Mr. Ruggles was then very deeply engaged in the memorable Darg case, as well as attending to a number of other fugitive slaves, devising ways and means for their successful escape; and, though watched and hemmed in on almost every side, he seemed to be more than a match for his enemies.

Thank goodness, I was only in this difficult situation for a short time. I was rescued by the compassionate hand of Mr. David Ruggles, whose vigilance, kindness, and determination I will never forget. I'm glad to have the chance to express, as much as words can, the love and gratitude I feel for him. Mr. Ruggles is now suffering from blindness and needs the same kind support that he once so willingly provided to others. I had only been in New York for a few days when Mr. Ruggles found me and kindly brought me to his boarding house at the corner of Church and Lespenard Streets. At that time, Mr. Ruggles was heavily involved in the significant Darg case, as well as helping several other runaway slaves, figuring out ways to ensure their successful escape; and despite being watched and cornered on almost every side, he seemed to outsmart his enemies at every turn.

Very soon after I went to Mr. Ruggles, he wished to know of me where I wanted to go; as he deemed it unsafe for me to remain in New York. I told him I was a calker, and should like to go where I could get work. I thought of going to Canada; but he decided against it, and in favor of my going to New Bedford, thinking I should be able to get work there at my trade. At this time, Anna,[2] my intended wife, came on; for I wrote to her immediately after my arrival at New York, (notwithstanding my homeless, houseless, and helpless condition,) informing her of my successful flight, and wishing her to come on forthwith. In a few days after her arrival, Mr. Ruggles called in the Rev. J. W. C. Pennington, who, in the presence of Mr. Ruggles, Mrs. Michaels, and two or three others, performed the marriage ceremony, and gave us a certificate, of which the following is an exact copy:—

Very soon after I went to Mr. Ruggles, he wanted to know where I intended to go, as he thought it was unsafe for me to stay in New York. I told him I was a caulker and would like to go somewhere I could find work. I considered going to Canada, but he advised against it and suggested I go to New Bedford instead, believing I could get a job there in my trade. At that time, Anna,[2] my soon-to-be wife, came over because I had written to her right after I arrived in New York (even though I was homeless and in a tough situation), letting her know about my successful escape and asking her to come as soon as possible. A few days after she arrived, Mr. Ruggles called in Rev. J. W. C. Pennington, who, in front of Mr. Ruggles, Mrs. Michaels, and two or three others, performed the marriage ceremony and provided us with a certificate, of which the following is an exact copy:—

“This may certify, that I joined together in holy matrimony Frederick Johnson[3] and Anna Murray, as man and wife, in the presence of Mr. David Ruggles and Mrs. Michaels.

“This is to certify that I united in holy matrimony Frederick Johnson and Anna Murray as husband and wife in the presence of Mr. David Ruggles and Mrs. Michaels.”

“JAMES W. C. PENNINGTON
New York, Sept. 15, 1838”

“JAMES W. C. PENNINGTON
New York, Sept. 15, 1838”

[2] She was free.

She was liberated.

[3] I had changed my name from Frederick Bailey to that of Johnson.

[3] I changed my name from Frederick Bailey to Johnson.

Upon receiving this certificate, and a five-dollar bill from Mr. Ruggles, I shouldered one part of our baggage, and Anna took up the other, and we set out forthwith to take passage on board of the steamboat John W. Richmond for Newport, on our way to New Bedford. Mr. Ruggles gave me a letter to a Mr. Shaw in Newport, and told me, in case my money did not serve me to New Bedford, to stop in Newport and obtain further assistance; but upon our arrival at Newport, we were so anxious to get to a place of safety, that, notwithstanding we lacked the necessary money to pay our fare, we decided to take seats in the stage, and promise to pay when we got to New Bedford. We were encouraged to do this by two excellent gentlemen, residents of New Bedford, whose names I afterward ascertained to be Joseph Ricketson and William C. Taber. They seemed at once to understand our circumstances, and gave us such assurance of their friendliness as put us fully at ease in their presence.

After getting this certificate and a five-dollar bill from Mr. Ruggles, I took one part of our luggage, and Anna grabbed the other. We immediately set off to catch the steamboat John W. Richmond to Newport, heading toward New Bedford. Mr. Ruggles handed me a letter for a Mr. Shaw in Newport and told me that if my money ran out before reaching New Bedford, I should stop in Newport and seek more help. However, when we arrived in Newport, we were so eager to find a safe place that even though we didn’t have enough money for our fare, we decided to hop on the stage and promised to pay once we got to New Bedford. We were encouraged to do this by two kind gentlemen from New Bedford, whose names I later learned were Joseph Ricketson and William C. Taber. They quickly grasped our situation and reassured us with their kindness, making us feel completely at ease in their company.

It was good indeed to meet with such friends, at such a time. Upon reaching New Bedford, we were directed to the house of Mr. Nathan Johnson, by whom we were kindly received, and hospitably provided for. Both Mr. and Mrs. Johnson took a deep and lively interest in our welfare. They proved themselves quite worthy of the name of abolitionists. When the stage-driver found us unable to pay our fare, he held on upon our baggage as security for the debt. I had but to mention the fact to Mr. Johnson, and he forthwith advanced the money.

It was really great to meet such friends at that moment. When we arrived in New Bedford, we were directed to Mr. Nathan Johnson's house, where we were warmly welcomed and generously taken care of. Both Mr. and Mrs. Johnson showed a strong and genuine interest in our well-being. They truly lived up to the title of abolitionists. When the stage driver realized we couldn’t pay our fare, he kept our luggage as security for the debt. I just had to mention it to Mr. Johnson, and he immediately lent us the money.

We now began to feel a degree of safety, and to prepare ourselves for the duties and responsibilities of a life of freedom. On the morning after our arrival at New Bedford, while at the breakfast-table, the question arose as to what name I should be called by. The name given me by my mother was, “Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey.” I, however, had dispensed with the two middle names long before I left Maryland so that I was generally known by the name of “Frederick Bailey.” I started from Baltimore bearing the name of “Stanley.” When I got to New York, I again changed my name to “Frederick Johnson,” and thought that would be the last change. But when I got to New Bedford, I found it necessary again to change my name. The reason of this necessity was, that there were so many Johnsons in New Bedford, it was already quite difficult to distinguish between them. I gave Mr. Johnson the privilege of choosing me a name, but told him he must not take from me the name of “Frederick.” I must hold on to that, to preserve a sense of my identity. Mr. Johnson had just been reading the “Lady of the Lake,” and at once suggested that my name be “Douglass.” From that time until now I have been called “Frederick Douglass;” and as I am more widely known by that name than by either of the others, I shall continue to use it as my own.

We started to feel a sense of safety and began preparing for the duties and responsibilities that come with a life of freedom. The morning after we arrived in New Bedford, while we were at the breakfast table, the question came up about what my name should be. My mother had named me “Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey.” However, I had dropped the two middle names long before leaving Maryland, so I was mostly known as “Frederick Bailey.” I left Baltimore with the name “Stanley.” When I got to New York, I changed my name again to “Frederick Johnson,” thinking that would be the last change. But when I reached New Bedford, I found it necessary to change my name once more. The reason for this was that there were so many Johnsons in New Bedford that it was already hard to tell them apart. I gave Mr. Johnson the option to choose a name for me, but I told him he couldn’t take away my first name, “Frederick.” I needed to keep that to maintain my sense of identity. Mr. Johnson had just been reading “Lady of the Lake” and immediately suggested I go by “Douglass.” From that moment until now, I have been called “Frederick Douglass,” and since I am more widely recognized by that name than by either of the others, I will continue to use it as my own.

I was quite disappointed at the general appearance of things in New Bedford. The impression which I had received respecting the character and condition of the people of the north, I found to be singularly erroneous. I had very strangely supposed, while in slavery, that few of the comforts, and scarcely any of the luxuries, of life were enjoyed at the north, compared with what were enjoyed by the slaveholders of the south. I probably came to this conclusion from the fact that northern people owned no slaves. I supposed that they were about upon a level with the non-slaveholding population of the south. I knew they were exceedingly poor, and I had been accustomed to regard their poverty as the necessary consequence of their being non-slaveholders. I had somehow imbibed the opinion that, in the absence of slaves, there could be no wealth, and very little refinement. And upon coming to the north, I expected to meet with a rough, hard-handed, and uncultivated population, living in the most Spartan-like simplicity, knowing nothing of the ease, luxury, pomp, and grandeur of southern slaveholders. Such being my conjectures, any one acquainted with the appearance of New Bedford may very readily infer how palpably I must have seen my mistake.

I was really disappointed by the overall state of things in New Bedford. The impression I had about the character and condition of the people in the north turned out to be completely wrong. While I was enslaved, I had bizarrely thought that few comforts and hardly any luxuries were enjoyed up north compared to what the slaveholders in the south had. I probably reached this conclusion because northern people didn’t own slaves. I assumed they were on the same level as the non-slaveholding population in the south. I knew they were really poor, and I had come to see their poverty as a direct result of not having slaves. I had somehow picked up the idea that without slaves, there could be no wealth and very little refinement. So, when I arrived in the north, I expected to encounter a rough, hardworking, and unrefined population living in a very simple way, knowing nothing of the ease, luxury, pomp, and grandeur of southern slaveholders. Given my assumptions, anyone familiar with how New Bedford looks could easily see how obviously I was mistaken.

In the afternoon of the day when I reached New Bedford, I visited the wharves, to take a view of the shipping. Here I found myself surrounded with the strongest proofs of wealth. Lying at the wharves, and riding in the stream, I saw many ships of the finest model, in the best order, and of the largest size. Upon the right and left, I was walled in by granite warehouses of the widest dimensions, stowed to their utmost capacity with the necessaries and comforts of life. Added to this, almost every body seemed to be at work, but noiselessly so, compared with what I had been accustomed to in Baltimore. There were no loud songs heard from those engaged in loading and unloading ships. I heard no deep oaths or horrid curses on the laborer. I saw no whipping of men; but all seemed to go smoothly on. Every man appeared to understand his work, and went at it with a sober, yet cheerful earnestness, which betokened the deep interest which he felt in what he was doing, as well as a sense of his own dignity as a man. To me this looked exceedingly strange. From the wharves I strolled around and over the town, gazing with wonder and admiration at the splendid churches, beautiful dwellings, and finely-cultivated gardens; evincing an amount of wealth, comfort, taste, and refinement, such as I had never seen in any part of slaveholding Maryland.

In the afternoon of the day I arrived in New Bedford, I went to the wharves to check out the shipping. There, I found strong evidence of wealth all around me. Lying at the wharves and floating in the water were many ships, beautifully designed, well-maintained, and impressively large. On my right and left, I was surrounded by granite warehouses that were huge, filled to the brim with the necessities and comforts of life. Almost everyone seemed to be working, but it was much quieter than what I was used to in Baltimore. There were no loud songs from those loading and unloading the ships. I didn't hear deep curses or harsh insults directed at the workers. I didn't see anyone being whipped; everything seemed to operate smoothly. Every man appeared to understand his job and approached it with a serious yet cheerful determination, reflecting how much he cared about his work and his dignity as a person. To me, this all seemed very strange. From the wharves, I walked around the town, gazing in wonder and admiration at the beautiful churches, lovely homes, and well-kept gardens, showcasing a level of wealth, comfort, taste, and sophistication that I had never encountered in any part of slaveholding Maryland.

Every thing looked clean, new, and beautiful. I saw few or no dilapidated houses, with poverty-stricken inmates; no half-naked children and barefooted women, such as I had been accustomed to see in Hillsborough, Easton, St. Michael’s, and Baltimore. The people looked more able, stronger, healthier, and happier, than those of Maryland. I was for once made glad by a view of extreme wealth, without being saddened by seeing extreme poverty. But the most astonishing as well as the most interesting thing to me was the condition of the colored people, a great many of whom, like myself, had escaped thither as a refuge from the hunters of men. I found many, who had not been seven years out of their chains, living in finer houses, and evidently enjoying more of the comforts of life, than the average of slaveholders in Maryland. I will venture to assert, that my friend Mr. Nathan Johnson (of whom I can say with a grateful heart, “I was hungry, and he gave me meat; I was thirsty, and he gave me drink; I was a stranger, and he took me in”) lived in a neater house; dined at a better table; took, paid for, and read, more newspapers; better understood the moral, religious, and political character of the nation,—than nine tenths of the slaveholders in Talbot county Maryland. Yet Mr. Johnson was a working man. His hands were hardened by toil, and not his alone, but those also of Mrs. Johnson. I found the colored people much more spirited than I had supposed they would be. I found among them a determination to protect each other from the blood-thirsty kidnapper, at all hazards. Soon after my arrival, I was told of a circumstance which illustrated their spirit. A colored man and a fugitive slave were on unfriendly terms. The former was heard to threaten the latter with informing his master of his whereabouts. Straightway a meeting was called among the colored people, under the stereotyped notice, “Business of importance!” The betrayer was invited to attend. The people came at the appointed hour, and organized the meeting by appointing a very religious old gentleman as president, who, I believe, made a prayer, after which he addressed the meeting as follows: “Friends, we have got him here, and I would recommend that you young men just take him outside the door, and kill him!” With this, a number of them bolted at him; but they were intercepted by some more timid than themselves, and the betrayer escaped their vengeance, and has not been seen in New Bedford since. I believe there have been no more such threats, and should there be hereafter, I doubt not that death would be the consequence.

Everything looked clean, new, and beautiful. I saw few or no run-down houses with impoverished residents; no half-naked kids and barefoot women, like I had grown used to seeing in Hillsborough, Easton, St. Michael’s, and Baltimore. The people looked more capable, stronger, healthier, and happier than those from Maryland. For once, I felt joy seeing extreme wealth without being saddened by extreme poverty. But what amazed and interested me the most was the situation of the Black community, many of whom, like me, had escaped there as a refuge from those hunting for people. I found many who had been free for less than seven years living in better houses and clearly enjoying more comforts of life than the average slaveholder in Maryland. I can confidently say that my friend Mr. Nathan Johnson (of whom I can say with a grateful heart, “I was hungry, and he gave me food; I was thirsty, and he gave me drink; I was a stranger, and he welcomed me”) lived in a cleaner home; dined at a better table; took, paid for, and read more newspapers; and had a better understanding of the moral, religious, and political character of the nation than nine-tenths of the slaveholders in Talbot County, Maryland. Yet Mr. Johnson was a working man. His hands were tough from labor, as were those of Mrs. Johnson. I found the Black community much more spirited than I had expected. I discovered among them a determination to protect one another from the bloodthirsty kidnappers at all costs. Shortly after I arrived, I was told of an incident that illustrated their spirit. A Black man and a fugitive slave were on bad terms. The former was heard threatening the latter with informing his master of his location. Immediately, a meeting was called among the Black people, with the usual notice, “Business of importance!” The betrayer was invited to attend. The people arrived at the set time and organized the meeting by appointing a very religious old man as president, who, I believe, offered a prayer, after which he addressed the meeting as follows: “Friends, we have got him here, and I would recommend that you young men just take him outside the door and kill him!” With that, several of them rushed at him; but they were stopped by others who were more fearful, and the betrayer escaped their revenge and hasn’t been seen in New Bedford since. I believe there have been no more such threats, and if there are in the future, I have no doubt that death would be the result.

I found employment, the third day after my arrival, in stowing a sloop with a load of oil. It was new, dirty, and hard work for me; but I went at it with a glad heart and a willing hand. I was now my own master. It was a happy moment, the rapture of which can be understood only by those who have been slaves. It was the first work, the reward of which was to be entirely my own. There was no Master Hugh standing ready, the moment I earned the money, to rob me of it. I worked that day with a pleasure I had never before experienced. I was at work for myself and newly-married wife. It was to me the starting-point of a new existence. When I got through with that job, I went in pursuit of a job of calking; but such was the strength of prejudice against color, among the white calkers, that they refused to work with me, and of course I could get no employment.[4] Finding my trade of no immediate benefit, I threw off my calking habiliments, and prepared myself to do any kind of work I could get to do. Mr. Johnson kindly let me have his wood-horse and saw, and I very soon found myself a plenty of work. There was no work too hard—none too dirty. I was ready to saw wood, shovel coal, carry wood, sweep the chimney, or roll oil casks,—all of which I did for nearly three years in New Bedford, before I became known to the anti-slavery world.

I found a job on the third day after I arrived, packing a sloop with a load of oil. It was new, dirty, and tough work for me, but I approached it with a happy heart and a willing hand. I was now my own boss. It was a joyful moment, a feeling that can only be understood by those who have been enslaved. This was the first work where the reward would be entirely mine. There was no Master Hugh ready to take my money the moment I earned it. That day, I worked with a pleasure I'd never felt before. I was working for myself and my newly-married wife. For me, it marked the beginning of a new life. After finishing that job, I looked for work as a calker, but the prejudice against my skin color among the white calkers was so strong that they refused to work with me, and of course, I couldn't find any employment. Finding my trade useless for the moment, I took off my calking gear and got ready to do any kind of work I could find. Mr. Johnson kindly let me use his woodhorse and saw, and soon I found plenty of work. There was no job too hard or too dirty. I was ready to saw wood, shovel coal, carry wood, sweep the chimney, or roll oil casks—all of which I did for nearly three years in New Bedford before I became known in the anti-slavery community.

[4] I am told that colored persons can now get employment at calking in New Bedford—a result of anti-slavery effort.

[4] I've heard that people of color can now find jobs as caulkers in New Bedford—thanks to anti-slavery efforts.

In about four months after I went to New Bedford, there came a young man to me, and inquired if I did not wish to take the “Liberator.” I told him I did; but, just having made my escape from slavery, I remarked that I was unable to pay for it then. I, however, finally became a subscriber to it. The paper came, and I read it from week to week with such feelings as it would be quite idle for me to attempt to describe. The paper became my meat and my drink. My soul was set all on fire. Its sympathy for my brethren in bonds—its scathing denunciations of slaveholders—its faithful exposures of slavery—and its powerful attacks upon the upholders of the institution—sent a thrill of joy through my soul, such as I had never felt before!

About four months after I got to New Bedford, a young man approached me and asked if I wanted to subscribe to the “Liberator.” I told him I did, but having just escaped from slavery, I said I couldn't afford it at that time. However, I eventually became a subscriber. The paper arrived, and I read it every week with feelings that are hard to describe. It became essential to me. My soul was ignited. Its compassion for my brothers and sisters in chains—its sharp criticisms of slaveholders—its honest exposes of slavery—and its strong attacks on those who supported the system—sent waves of joy through my soul like I had never experienced before!

I had not long been a reader of the “Liberator,” before I got a pretty correct idea of the principles, measures and spirit of the anti-slavery reform. I took right hold of the cause. I could do but little; but what I could, I did with a joyful heart, and never felt happier than when in an anti-slavery meeting. I seldom had much to say at the meetings, because what I wanted to say was said so much better by others. But, while attending an anti-slavery convention at Nantucket, on the 11th of August, 1841, I felt strongly moved to speak, and was at the same time much urged to do so by Mr. William C. Coffin, a gentleman who had heard me speak in the colored people’s meeting at New Bedford. It was a severe cross, and I took it up reluctantly. The truth was, I felt myself a slave, and the idea of speaking to white people weighed me down. I spoke but a few moments, when I felt a degree of freedom, and said what I desired with considerable ease. From that time until now, I have been engaged in pleading the cause of my brethren—with what success, and with what devotion, I leave those acquainted with my labors to decide.

I hadn’t been reading the “Liberator” for long before I got a pretty clear understanding of the principles, actions, and spirit of the anti-slavery movement. I fully embraced the cause. I could do only a little, but I did it with a joyful heart and never felt happier than when I was at an anti-slavery meeting. I usually didn’t have much to say at the meetings because others expressed what I wanted to say so much better. However, while attending an anti-slavery convention in Nantucket on August 11, 1841, I felt a strong urge to speak, and Mr. William C. Coffin, who had heard me at a meeting for Black people in New Bedford, encouraged me to do so. It was a tough challenge, and I took it on reluctantly. The truth was, I felt like a slave myself, and the thought of speaking to white people was daunting. I spoke for just a few minutes, but then I felt a sense of freedom and was able to express what I wanted to say with relative ease. Since that time, I have been dedicated to advocating for my fellow individuals—what success I’ve had and how devoted I’ve been is something I’ll leave for those familiar with my work to judge.

APPENDIX

I find, since reading over the foregoing Narrative, that I have, in several instances, spoken in such a tone and manner, respecting religion, as may possibly lead those unacquainted with my religious views to suppose me an opponent of all religion. To remove the liability of such misapprehension, I deem it proper to append the following brief explanation. What I have said respecting and against religion, I mean strictly to apply to the slaveholding religion of this land, and with no possible reference to Christianity proper; for, between the Christianity of this land, and the Christianity of Christ, I recognize the widest possible difference—so wide, that to receive the one as good, pure, and holy, is of necessity to reject the other as bad, corrupt, and wicked. To be the friend of the one, is of necessity to be the enemy of the other. I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land. Indeed, I can see no reason, but the most deceitful one, for calling the religion of this land Christianity. I look upon it as the climax of all misnomers, the boldest of all frauds, and the grossest of all libels. Never was there a clearer case of “stealing the livery of the court of heaven to serve the devil in.” I am filled with unutterable loathing when I contemplate the religious pomp and show, together with the horrible inconsistencies, which every where surround me. We have men-stealers for ministers, women-whippers for missionaries, and cradle-plunderers for church members. The man who wields the blood-clotted cowskin during the week fills the pulpit on Sunday, and claims to be a minister of the meek and lowly Jesus. The man who robs me of my earnings at the end of each week meets me as a class-leader on Sunday morning, to show me the way of life, and the path of salvation. He who sells my sister, for purposes of prostitution, stands forth as the pious advocate of purity. He who proclaims it a religious duty to read the Bible denies me the right of learning to read the name of the God who made me. He who is the religious advocate of marriage robs whole millions of its sacred influence, and leaves them to the ravages of wholesale pollution. The warm defender of the sacredness of the family relation is the same that scatters whole families,—sundering husbands and wives, parents and children, sisters and brothers,—leaving the hut vacant, and the hearth desolate. We see the thief preaching against theft, and the adulterer against adultery. We have men sold to build churches, women sold to support the gospel, and babes sold to purchase Bibles for the Poor Heathen! All For The Glory Of God And The Good Of Souls! The slave auctioneer’s bell and the church-going bell chime in with each other, and the bitter cries of the heart-broken slave are drowned in the religious shouts of his pious master. Revivals of religion and revivals in the slave-trade go hand in hand together. The slave prison and the church stand near each other. The clanking of fetters and the rattling of chains in the prison, and the pious psalm and solemn prayer in the church, may be heard at the same time. The dealers in the bodies and souls of men erect their stand in the presence of the pulpit, and they mutually help each other. The dealer gives his blood-stained gold to support the pulpit, and the pulpit, in return, covers his infernal business with the garb of Christianity. Here we have religion and robbery the allies of each other—devils dressed in angels’ robes, and hell presenting the semblance of paradise.

I realize, after reviewing the narrative above, that I've often spoken about religion in a way that could lead those unfamiliar with my beliefs to think I'm against all religion. To clear up any misunderstandings, I feel it's important to provide this brief explanation. When I criticize religion, I specifically mean the slaveholding religion of this country, and I am not referring to true Christianity. I see a huge difference between the Christianity practiced here and the Christianity of Christ—so vast that accepting the one as good and holy means rejecting the other as bad, corrupt, and wicked. Supporting one necessarily means opposing the other. I cherish the pure, peaceful, and impartial Christianity of Christ; therefore, I despise the corrupt, slaveholding, abusive, cradle-snatching, biased, and hypocritical Christianity of this nation. In fact, I see no reason, other than the most deceitful, for calling the religion of this country Christianity. I consider it the height of mislabeling, the boldest fraud, and the grossest slander. Never has there been a clearer case of “stealing the livery of the court of heaven to serve the devil.” I feel intense disgust when I think about the religious pomp and the horrific inconsistencies that surround me. We have slave owners as ministers, abusers as missionaries, and child exploiters as church members. The man who wields a blood-soaked whip during the week stands in the pulpit on Sunday, claiming to be a minister of the gentle and humble Jesus. The man who robs me of my wages each week meets me as a class leader on Sunday morning, showing me the way to life and salvation. He who sells my sister into prostitution presents himself as a devout advocate for purity. He who insists it is a religious duty to read the Bible denies me the right to learn to read the name of the God who created me. He who passionately promotes the sanctity of marriage robs countless individuals of its sacred influence, leaving them to suffer the consequences of widespread corruption. The vocal defender of family values is the same one tearing families apart—separating husbands and wives, parents and children, siblings—leaving homes vacant and hearths desolate. We see thieves preaching against theft and adulterers condemning adultery. We have men sold to build churches, women sold to fund the gospel, and babies sold to buy Bibles for the Poor Heathen! All For The Glory Of God And The Good Of Souls! The sound of the slave auctioneer’s bell and the church bell resonate together, drowning out the heartbreaking cries of the oppressed slave with the religious shouts of their pious master. Religious revivals and the revival of the slave trade go hand in hand. The slave prison and the church stand close to one another. The clanking of chains and the noise of fetters in the prison coincide with the pious hymns and solemn prayers in the church. Those who traffic in human lives set up shop in the shadow of the pulpit, helping each other. The trafficker donates his blood-stained money to support the pulpit, which, in turn, cloaks his wicked business in the guise of Christianity. Here we have religion and robbery as allies—devils masquerading in angels’ robes, with hell pretending to be paradise.

“Just God! and these are they,v Who minister at thine altar, God of right!
Men who their hands, with prayer and blessing, lay
On Israel’s ark of light.

“What! preach, and kidnap men?
Give thanks, and rob thy own afflicted poor?
Talk of thy glorious liberty, and then
Bolt hard the captive’s door?

“What! servants of thy own
Merciful Son, who came to seek and save
The homeless and the outcast, fettering down
The tasked and plundered slave!

“Pilate and Herod friends!
Chief priests and rulers, as of old, combine!
Just God and holy! is that church which lends
Strength to the spoiler thine?”

“Just God! Are these the ones who serve at your altar, God of justice?
Men who lay their hands, filled with prayer and blessing,
On Israel’s symbol of light.

“What! Preach and kidnap people?
Give thanks and rob your own suffering poor?
Talk about your glorious freedom, then
Shut tight the door on captives?

“What! Servants of your own
Merciful Son, who came to seek and save
The homeless and the outcast, while chaining down
The burdened and exploited slave?

“Pilate and Herod are allies!
Chief priests and rulers, just like before, work together!
Just God and holy! Is that the church that gives
Power to the oppressor your own?”

The Christianity of America is a Christianity, of whose votaries it may be as truly said, as it was of the ancient scribes and Pharisees, “They bind heavy burdens, and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. All their works they do for to be seen of men.—They love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, . . . . . . and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.—But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in. Ye devour widows’ houses, and for a pretence make long prayers; therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation. Ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.—Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint, and anise, and cumin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith; these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. Ye blind guides! which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter; but within, they are full of extortion and excess.—Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.”

The Christianity in America resembles that of the ancient scribes and Pharisees, where it can be truly said, “They impose heavy burdens on people, but they won’t lift a finger to help. Everything they do is for show. They love the best seats at banquets and the most prominent places in synagogues, and they love to be called 'Rabbi' by others. But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You block the kingdom of heaven for others; you don’t enter yourselves and you prevent those who are trying to enter. You take advantage of widows, while pretending to make long prayers; therefore, you will face even greater punishment. You go to great lengths to make one convert, and when you do, you make him twice the child of hell that you are. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You pay a tithe of mint, dill, and cumin, but you neglect the more important matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faith; these you should have done without neglecting the others. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside, they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but are full of dead bones and all kinds of impurity on the inside. In the same way, you appear righteous to others, but inside, you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”

Dark and terrible as is this picture, I hold it to be strictly true of the overwhelming mass of professed Christians in America. They strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. Could any thing be more true of our churches? They would be shocked at the proposition of fellowshipping a sheep-stealer; and at the same time they hug to their communion a man-stealer, and brand me with being an infidel, if I find fault with them for it. They attend with Pharisaical strictness to the outward forms of religion, and at the same time neglect the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith. They are always ready to sacrifice, but seldom to show mercy. They are they who are represented as professing to love God whom they have not seen, whilst they hate their brother whom they have seen. They love the heathen on the other side of the globe. They can pray for him, pay money to have the Bible put into his hand, and missionaries to instruct him; while they despise and totally neglect the heathen at their own doors.

As dark and terrible as this picture is, I believe it accurately reflects the overwhelming majority of self-proclaimed Christians in America. They focus on minor issues while ignoring major ones. Is there anything more true about our churches? They would be outraged at the idea of associating with a sheep-stealer, yet they embrace a human trafficker and label me an infidel for criticizing them. They adhere strictly to the outward rituals of religion, but neglect the more important aspects like justice, mercy, and faith. They are always quick to sacrifice, but rarely to show compassion. They claim to love God, whom they cannot see, while they hate their brother whom they can see. They love the distant person in need across the globe; they can pray for him, contribute money to provide him with a Bible, and support missionaries to teach him, yet they despise and completely ignore the people in need right outside their own doors.

Such is, very briefly, my view of the religion of this land; and to avoid any misunderstanding, growing out of the use of general terms, I mean by the religion of this land, that which is revealed in the words, deeds, and actions, of those bodies, north and south, calling themselves Christian churches, and yet in union with slaveholders. It is against religion, as presented by these bodies, that I have felt it my duty to testify.

Such is, very briefly, my view of the religion in this country; and to avoid any misunderstandings arising from the use of general terms, I mean by the religion of this land, what is shown in the words, deeds, and actions of those groups, north and south, calling themselves Christian churches, while still being connected to slaveowners. It is against the religion presented by these groups that I feel compelled to speak out.

I conclude these remarks by copying the following portrait of the religion of the south, (which is, by communion and fellowship, the religion of the north,) which I soberly affirm is “true to the life,” and without caricature or the slightest exaggeration. It is said to have been drawn, several years before the present anti-slavery agitation began, by a northern Methodist preacher, who, while residing at the south, had an opportunity to see slaveholding morals, manners, and piety, with his own eyes. “Shall I not visit for these things? saith the Lord. Shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?”

I’ll wrap up these comments by sharing the following portrayal of Southern religion, which, through connection and community, aligns with the religion of the North. I genuinely believe it reflects reality without any caricature or exaggeration. It’s said that it was created several years before the current anti-slavery movement began by a Northern Methodist preacher who, while living in the South, had the chance to observe slaveholding morals, behaviors, and piety firsthand. “Shall I not punish for these things?” says the Lord. “Shall I not take vengeance on a nation like this?”

A PARODY

A PARODY

“Come, saints and sinners, hear me tell
How pious priests whip Jack and Nell,
And women buy and children sell,
And preach all sinners down to hell,
And sing of heavenly union.

“They’ll bleat and baa, dona like goats,
Gorge down black sheep, and strain at motes,
Array their backs in fine black coats,
Then seize their negroes by their throats,
And choke, for heavenly union.

“They’ll church you if you sip a dram,
And damn you if you steal a lamb;
Yet rob old Tony, Doll, and Sam,
Of human rights, and bread and ham;
Kidnapper’s heavenly union.

“They’ll loudly talk of Christ’s reward,
And bind his image with a cord,
And scold, and swing the lash abhorred,
And sell their brother in the Lord
To handcuffed heavenly union.

“They’ll read and sing a sacred song,
And make a prayer both loud and long,
And teach the right and do the wrong,
Hailing the brother, sister throng,
With words of heavenly union.

“We wonder how such saints can sing,
Or praise the Lord upon the wing,
Who roar, and scold, and whip, and sting,
And to their slaves and mammon cling,
In guilty conscience union.

“They’ll raise tobacco, corn, and rye,
And drive, and thieve, and cheat, and lie,
And lay up treasures in the sky,
By making switch and cowskin fly,
In hope of heavenly union.

“They’ll crack old Tony on the skull,
And preach and roar like Bashan bull,
Or braying ass, of mischief full,
Then seize old Jacob by the wool,
And pull for heavenly union.

“A roaring, ranting, sleek man-thief,
Who lived on mutton, veal, and beef,
Yet never would afford relief
To needy, sable sons of grief,
Was big with heavenly union.

“‘Love not the world,’ the preacher said,
And winked his eye, and shook his head;
He seized on Tom, and Dick, and Ned,
Cut short their meat, and clothes, and bread,
Yet still loved heavenly union.

“Another preacher whining spoke
Of One whose heart for sinners broke:
He tied old Nanny to an oak,
And drew the blood at every stroke,
And prayed for heavenly union.

“Two others oped their iron jaws,
And waved their children-stealing paws;
There sat their children in gewgaws;
By stinting negroes’ backs and maws,
They kept up heavenly union.

“All good from Jack another takes,
And entertains their flirts and rakes,
Who dress as sleek as glossy snakes,
And cram their mouths with sweetened cakes;
And this goes down for union.”

“Come, saints and sinners, listen to me tell
How righteous priests discipline Jack and Nell,
And women buy and children sell,
And preach all sinners down to hell,
And sing of heavenly union.

“They’ll bleat and baa, just like goats,
Devour black sheep, and strain at specks,
Dress themselves in fine black coats,
Then grab their slaves by the throats,
And choke, for heavenly union.

“They’ll excommunicate you for having a drink,
And curse you if you steal a lamb;
Yet rob old Tony, Doll, and Sam,
Of their human rights, and bread and ham;
Kidnappers’ heavenly union.

“They’ll loudly speak of Christ’s reward,
And restrain his image with a cord,
And scold, and swing the whip they detest,
And sell their brother in Christ
To handcuffed heavenly union.

“They’ll read and sing a sacred song,
And say a prayer both loud and long,
And teach what’s right while doing wrong,
Welcoming the brother, sister crowd,
With words of heavenly union.

“We wonder how such saints can sing,
Or praise the Lord with wings,
Who roar, and scold, and whip, and sting,
And cling to their slaves and money,
In guilty conscience union.

“They’ll grow tobacco, corn, and rye,
And rob, cheat, lie, and steal,
And store up treasures in the sky,
By making switch and cowskin fly,
In hopes of heavenly union.

“They’ll crack old Tony on the skull,
And preach and roar like a furious bull,
Or loud donkey, full of mischief,
Then seize old Jacob by the hair,
And pull for heavenly union.

“A loud, ranting, smooth-talking thief,
Who lived on lamb, veal, and beef,
Yet never would give relief
To the needy, grieving sons,
Was big with heavenly union.

“‘Love not the world,’ the preacher said,
And winked his eye, and shook his head;
He seized Tom, Dick, and Ned,
Cut short their meat, clothes, and bread,
Yet still loved heavenly union.

“Another preacher spoke with a whine
Of One whose heart broke for sinners:
He tied old Nanny to an oak,
And drew blood with every stroke,
And prayed for heavenly union.

“Two others opened their iron jaws,
And waved their children-stealing hands;
There sat their children dressed in shiny things;
By shorting negroes' backs and bellies,
They maintained their heavenly union.

“All good from Jack is taken by another,
And entertains their flirts and rakes,
Who dress as sleek as shiny snakes,
And stuff their mouths with sweetened cakes;
And this goes down for union.”

Sincerely and earnestly hoping that this little book may do something toward throwing light on the American slave system, and hastening the glad day of deliverance to the millions of my brethren in bonds—faithfully relying upon the power of truth, love, and justice, for success in my humble efforts—and solemnly pledging my self anew to the sacred cause,—I subscribe myself,

Sincerely and earnestly hoping that this little book can help shed light on the American slavery system and speed up the joyful day of freedom for the millions of my brothers and sisters in bondage—faithfully trusting in the power of truth, love, and justice for the success of my humble efforts—and solemnly renewing my commitment to this sacred cause—I sign my name,

FREDERICK DOUGLASS.

FREDERICK DOUGLASS.

LYNN, Mass., April 28, 1845.

LYNN, Mass., April 28, 1845.

THE END

THE END


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