This is a modern-English version of The Freelands, originally written by Galsworthy, John. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE FREELANDS



By John Galsworthy










CONTENTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS









“Liberty's a glorious feast.”—Burns.






PROLOGUE

One early April afternoon, in a Worcestershire field, the only field in that immediate landscape which was not down in grass, a man moved slowly athwart the furrows, sowing—a big man of heavy build, swinging his hairy brown arm with the grace of strength. He wore no coat or hat; a waistcoat, open over a blue-checked cotton shirt, flapped against belted corduroys that were somewhat the color of his square, pale-brown face and dusty hair. His eyes were sad, with the swimming yet fixed stare of epileptics; his mouth heavy-lipped, so that, but for the yearning eyes, the face would have been almost brutal. He looked as if he suffered from silence. The elm-trees bordering the field, though only just in leaf, showed dark against a white sky. A light wind blew, carrying already a scent from the earth and growth pushing up, for the year was early. The green Malvern hills rose in the west; and not far away, shrouded by trees, a long country house of weathered brick faced to the south. Save for the man sowing, and some rooks crossing from elm to elm, no life was visible in all the green land. And it was quiet—with a strange, a brooding tranquillity. The fields and hills seemed to mock the scars of road and ditch and furrow scraped on them, to mock at barriers of hedge and wall—between the green land and white sky was a conspiracy to disregard those small activities. So lonely was it, so plunged in a ground-bass of silence; so much too big and permanent for any figure of man.

One early April afternoon, in a Worcestershire field, the only field in that immediate landscape that wasn’t covered in grass, a man moved slowly across the furrows, sowing—he was a big guy with a heavy build, swinging his hairy brown arm with the grace of strength. He wore no coat or hat; a waistcoat, open over a blue-checked cotton shirt, flapped against belted corduroys that were somewhat the same color as his square, pale-brown face and dusty hair. His eyes were sad, with the swimming yet fixed stare of someone with epilepsy; his lips were heavy, so that, except for the yearning eyes, his face could have seemed almost brutal. He looked like he was suffering from silence. The elm trees lining the field, though just beginning to leaf, appeared dark against a white sky. A light wind blew, already carrying the scent of earth and new growth, since it was early in the year. The green Malvern hills rose in the west; and not far away, hidden by trees, a long country house of weathered brick faced south. Aside from the man sowing and a few rooks flying from elm to elm, there was no sign of life in all the green land. And it was quiet—with a strange, deep tranquillity. The fields and hills seemed to mock the scars of roads, ditches, and furrows scratched onto them, mocking the barriers of hedge and wall—between the green land and the white sky was an agreement to ignore those small activities. It was so lonely, so wrapped in a deep silence; so much too vast and permanent for any figure of man.

Across and across the brown loam the laborer doggedly finished out his task; scattered the few last seeds into a corner, and stood still. Thrushes and blackbirds were just beginning that even-song whose blitheness, as nothing else on earth, seems to promise youth forever to the land. He picked up his coat, slung it on, and, heaving a straw bag over his shoulder, walked out on to the grass-bordered road between the elms.

Across the brown soil, the worker stubbornly completed his task, scattering the last few seeds into a corner before pausing. Thrushes and blackbirds were starting their evening songs, which, more than anything else on earth, seem to guarantee eternal youth for the land. He picked up his coat, threw it on, and, with a straw bag slung over his shoulder, walked out onto the grass-lined road between the elms.

“Tryst! Bob Tryst!”

"Meet up! Bob, meet up!"

At the gate of a creepered cottage amongst fruit-trees, high above the road, a youth with black hair and pale-brown face stood beside a girl with frizzy brown hair and cheeks like poppies.

At the gate of a creepy cottage among fruit trees, high above the road, a young man with black hair and a pale brown face stood next to a girl with curly brown hair and cheeks like poppies.

“Have you had that notice?”

"Did you get that notice?"

The laborer answered slowly:

The worker replied slowly:

“Yes, Mr. Derek. If she don't go, I've got to.”

“Yes, Mr. Derek. If she doesn't go, I have to.”

“What a d—d shame!”

“What a damn shame!”

The laborer moved his head, as though he would have spoken, but no words came.

The worker tilted his head as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out.

“Don't do anything, Bob. We'll see about that.”

“Don't do anything, Bob. We'll figure that out.”

“Evenin', Mr. Derek. Evenin', Miss Sheila,” and the laborer moved on.

“Evening, Mr. Derek. Evening, Miss Sheila,” and the laborer moved on.

The two at the wicket gate also turned away. A black-haired woman dressed in blue came to the wicket gate in their place. There seemed no purpose in her standing there; it was perhaps an evening custom, some ceremony such as Moslems observe at the muezzin-call. And any one who saw her would have wondered what on earth she might be seeing, gazing out with her dark glowing eyes above the white, grass-bordered roads stretching empty this way and that between the elm-trees and green fields; while the blackbirds and thrushes shouted out their hearts, calling all to witness how hopeful and young was life in this English countryside....

The two at the gate also walked away. A black-haired woman in blue took their place at the gate. It seemed pointless for her to be standing there; it might have been some evening tradition, similar to the ceremonies Muslims observe during the call to prayer. Anyone who saw her would have wondered what she was looking at, staring out with her dark, shining eyes over the empty white roads lined with grass that stretched in both directions between the elm trees and green fields; while the blackbirds and thrushes sang their hearts out, inviting everyone to see how hopeful and vibrant life was in this English countryside....





CHAPTER I

Mayday afternoon in Oxford Street, and Felix Freeland, a little late, on his way from Hampstead to his brother John's house in Porchester Gardens. Felix Freeland, author, wearing the very first gray top hat of the season. A compromise, that—like many other things in his life and works—between individuality and the accepted view of things, aestheticism and fashion, the critical sense and authority. After the meeting at John's, to discuss the doings of the family of his brother Morton Freeland—better known as Tod—he would perhaps look in on the caricatures at the English Gallery, and visit one duchess in Mayfair, concerning the George Richard Memorial. And so, not the soft felt hat which really suited authorship, nor the black top hat which obliterated personality to the point of pain, but this gray thing with narrowish black band, very suitable, in truth, to a face of a pale buff color, to a moustache of a deep buff color streaked with a few gray hairs, to a black braided coat cut away from a buff-colored waistcoat, to his neat boots—not patent leather—faintly buffed with May-day dust. Even his eyes, Freeland gray, were a little buffed over by sedentary habit, and the number of things that he was conscious of. For instance, that the people passing him were distressingly plain, both men and women; plain with the particular plainness of those quite unaware of it. It struck him forcibly, while he went along, how very queer it was that with so many plain people in the country, the population managed to keep up even as well as it did. To his wonderfully keen sense of defect, it seemed little short of marvellous. A shambling, shoddy crew, this crowd of shoppers and labor demonstrators! A conglomeration of hopelessly mediocre visages! What was to be done about it? Ah! what indeed!—since they were evidently not aware of their own dismal mediocrity. Hardly a beautiful or a vivid face, hardly a wicked one, never anything transfigured, passionate, terrible, or grand. Nothing Greek, early Italian, Elizabethan, not even beefy, beery, broad old Georgian. Something clutched-in, and squashed-out about it all—on that collective face something of the look of a man almost comfortably and warmly wrapped round by a snake at the very beginning of its squeeze. It gave Felix Freeland a sort of faint excitement and pleasure to notice this. For it was his business to notice things, and embalm them afterward in ink. And he believed that not many people noticed it, so that it contributed in his mind to his own distinction, which was precious to him. Precious, and encouraged to be so by the press, which—as he well knew—must print his name several thousand times a year. And yet, as a man of culture and of principle, how he despised that kind of fame, and theoretically believed that a man's real distinction lay in his oblivion of the world's opinion, particularly as expressed by that flighty creature, the Fourth Estate. But here again, as in the matter of the gray top hat, he had instinctively compromised, taking in press cuttings which described himself and his works, while he never failed to describe those descriptions—good, bad, and indifferent—as 'that stuff,' and their writers as 'those fellows.'

May Day afternoon on Oxford Street, and Felix Freeland was running a bit late, on his way from Hampstead to his brother John's house in Porchester Gardens. Felix Freeland, an author, was wearing the first gray top hat of the season. A compromise, like many other things in his life and work, balancing individuality and the accepted views, aestheticism and fashion, critical judgment and authority. After the meeting at John's to talk about the activities of his brother Morton Freeland's family—better known as Tod—he might stop by the English Gallery to check out the caricatures and visit a duchess in Mayfair about the George Richard Memorial. So, not the soft felt hat that really suited an author, nor the black top hat that erased personality to the point of discomfort, but this gray one with a narrow black band, which actually suited his pale buff-colored face, a deep buff-colored mustache streaked with a few gray hairs, a black braided coat cut away from a buff-colored waistcoat, and his neat boots—not patent leather—slightly buffed with May Day dust. Even his eyes, Freeland gray, looked a bit dulled by his sedentary lifestyle and the many things he was aware of. For instance, he noticed that the people passing by were painfully ordinary, both men and women; ordinary in the specific way of those completely unaware of it. It struck him as odd how, with so many plain people in the country, the population managed to maintain itself as well as it did. To his exceptionally sharp perception of flaws, it seemed almost miraculous. A shuffling, shabby crowd, this bunch of shoppers and labor demonstrators! A mix of hopelessly mediocre faces! What was to be done about it? Ah! what indeed!—since they were clearly oblivious to their own dismal mediocrity. Hardly a beautiful or vibrant face, hardly a wicked one, never anything transformed, passionate, terrifying, or grand. Nothing Greek, early Italian, Elizabethan, not even the beefy, beery, broad old Georgian types. There was something crunched-in and flattened-out about it—all together, the crowd bore a resemblance to a man almost comfortably and warmly wrapped by a snake at the very start of its squeeze. Noticing this gave Felix Freeland a faint thrill and pleasure. It was his job to observe things and later capture them in ink. He believed not many people noticed it, which in his mind added to his own distinction, something he valued highly. Valued, and encouraged to do so by the press, which—as he well knew—would print his name several thousand times a year. Yet, as a cultured and principled man, he despised that kind of fame and theoretically believed a person's true distinction lay in their indifference to the world's opinion, especially as expressed by that fickle creature, the Fourth Estate. But here again, like with the gray top hat, he had instinctively compromised, taking in press clippings about himself and his work, while always referring to those articles—good, bad, and indifferent—as 'that stuff,' and their authors as 'those guys.'

Not that it was new to him to feel that the country was in a bad way. On the contrary, it was his established belief, and one for which he was prepared to furnish due and proper reasons. In the first place he traced it to the horrible hold Industrialism had in the last hundred years laid on the nation, draining the peasantry from 'the Land'; and in the second place to the influence of a narrow and insidious Officialism, sapping the independence of the People.

Not that it was new to him to feel that the country was in a bad state. On the contrary, it was his firmly held belief, and one for which he was ready to provide valid reasons. First, he attributed it to the terrible grip that Industrialism had on the nation over the past hundred years, draining the peasants from 'the Land'; and second, to the impact of a narrow and sneaky Officialism, undermining the independence of the People.

This was why, in going to a conclave with his brother John, high in Government employ, and his brother Stanley, a captain of industry, possessor of the Morton Plough Works, he was conscious of a certain superiority in that he, at all events, had no hand in this paralysis which was creeping on the country.

This is why, when going to a gathering with his brother John, who held a high position in the government, and his brother Stanley, a business leader and owner of Morton Plough Works, he felt a sense of superiority since he, at least, was not involved in this stagnation that was spreading across the country.

And getting more buff-colored every minute, he threaded his way on, till, past the Marble Arch, he secured the elbow-room of Hyde Park. Here groups of young men, with chivalrous idealism, were jeering at and chivying the broken remnants of a suffrage meeting. Felix debated whether he should oppose his body to their bodies, his tongue to theirs, or whether he should avert his consciousness and hurry on; but, that instinct which moved him to wear the gray top hat prevailing, he did neither, and stood instead, looking at them in silent anger, which quickly provoked endearments—such as: “Take it off,” or “Keep it on,” or “What cheer, Toppy!” but nothing more acute. And he meditated: Culture! Could culture ever make headway among the blind partisanships, the hand-to-mouth mentality, the cheap excitements of this town life? The faces of these youths, the tone of their voices, the very look of their bowler hats, said: No! You could not culturalize the impermeable texture of their vulgarity. And they were the coming manhood of the nation—this inexpressibly distasteful lot of youths! The country had indeed got too far away from 'the Land.' And this essential towny commonness was not confined to the classes from which these youths were drawn. He had even remarked it among his own son's school and college friends—an impatience of discipline, an insensibility to everything but excitement and having a good time, a permanent mental indigestion due to a permanent diet of tit-bits. What aspiration they possessed seemed devoted to securing for themselves the plums of official or industrial life. His boy Alan, even, was infected, in spite of home influences and the atmosphere of art in which he had been so sedulously soaked. He wished to enter his Uncle Stanley's plough works, seeing in it a 'soft thing.'

And getting more tan every minute, he made his way onward until, past the Marble Arch, he found some space in Hyde Park. Here, groups of young men with lofty ideals were mocking and bothering the broken remnants of a suffrage meeting. Felix considered whether he should confront them physically, argue with them, or just ignore them and move on; but that instinct that made him wear the popular gray top hat led him to do neither. Instead, he stood there, looking at them in silent anger, which quickly invited teasing remarks like, “Take it off,” or “Keep it on,” or “What’s up, Toppy?” but nothing sharper. He thought: Culture! Could culture ever make progress amid the blind loyalties, the living-in-the-moment mentality, the shallow thrills of this city life? The faces of these young men, their tones, and even the way they wore their bowler hats said: No! You couldn’t bring culture to the thick layer of their crudeness. And they were the future manhood of the nation—this utterly unappealing group of youths! The country had indeed grown too distant from 'the Land.' And this basic urban commonness wasn’t just found among the classes these young men came from. He had even noticed it among his own son’s school and college friends—an impatience with rules, a lack of sensitivity to anything but excitement and having fun, a constant mental strain from gobbling up superficial information. Any ambition they had seemed focused on grabbing the best positions in official or industrial life. His son Alan, too, was affected, despite the home influences and the artistic environment he had been so carefully exposed to. He wanted to join his Uncle Stanley's factory, seeing it as an easy opportunity.

But the last of the woman-baiters had passed by now, and, conscious that he was really behind time, Felix hurried on....

But the last of the woman-chasers had gone by now, and, realizing that he was truly running late, Felix hurried on....

In his study—a pleasant room, if rather tidy—John Freeland was standing before the fire smoking a pipe and looking thoughtfully at nothing. He was, in fact, thinking, with that continuity characteristic of a man who at fifty has won for himself a place of permanent importance in the Home Office. Starting life in the Royal Engineers, he still preserved something of a military look about his figure, and grave visage with steady eyes and drooping moustache (both a shade grayer than those of Felix), and a forehead bald from justness and knowing where to lay his hand on papers. His face was thinner, his head narrower, than his brother's, and he had acquired a way of making those he looked at doubt themselves and feel the sudden instability of all their facts. He was—as has been said—thinking. His brother Stanley had wired to him that morning: “Am motoring up to-day on business; can you get Felix to come at six o'clock and talk over the position at Tod's?” What position at Tod's? He had indeed heard something vague—of those youngsters of Tod's, and some fuss they were making about the laborers down there. He had not liked it. Too much of a piece with the general unrest, and these new democratic ideas that were playing old Harry with the country! For in his opinion the country was in a bad way, partly owing to Industrialism, with its rotting effect upon physique; partly to this modern analytic Intellectualism, with its destructive and anarchic influence on morals. It was difficult to overestimate the mischief of those two factors; and in the approaching conference with his brothers, one of whom was the head of an industrial undertaking, and the other a writer, whose books, extremely modern, he never read, he was perhaps vaguely conscious of his own cleaner hands. Hearing a car come to a halt outside, he went to the window and looked out. Yes, it was Stanley!...

In his study—a pleasant room, if a bit tidy—John Freeland was standing by the fire, smoking a pipe and staring thoughtfully at nothing. He was, in fact, deep in thought, with that continuity typical of a man who, at fifty, has carved out a permanent role in the Home Office. Having started his career in the Royal Engineers, he still had a somewhat military appearance, with a serious expression, steady eyes, and a drooping mustache (both slightly grayer than Felix’s), and a forehead that was bald from both diligence and knowing where to find his papers. His face was thinner and his head narrower than his brother's, and he had developed a way of making people he looked at doubt themselves and feel the sudden instability of all their facts. He was— as mentioned—thinking. That morning, his brother Stanley had messaged him: “I’m driving up today on business; can you get Felix to come at six o'clock and discuss the situation at Tod's?” What situation at Tod's? He had heard something vague about those young people at Tod's and some fuss they were making about the workers down there. He didn’t like it. It felt too much like the overall unrest and these new democratic ideas that were wreaking havoc on the country! In his view, the country was headed for trouble, partly due to Industrialism, with its damaging effects on physical health; partly due to this modern analytical Intellectualism, with its destructive and anarchic impact on morals. It was hard to overstate the harm caused by these two factors; and in the upcoming meeting with his brothers—one of whom was in charge of an industrial business and the other a writer whose very modern books he never read—he was perhaps vaguely aware of his own cleaner hands. Hearing a car come to a stop outside, he went to the window and looked out. Yes, it was Stanley!...

Stanley Freeland, who had motored up from Becket—his country place, close to his plough works in Worcestershire—stood a moment on the pavement, stretching his long legs and giving directions to his chauffeur. He had been stopped twice on the road for not-exceeding the limit as he believed, and was still a little ruffled. Was it not his invariable principle to be moderate in speed as in all other things? And his feeling at the moment was stronger even than usual, that the country was in a bad way, eaten up by officialism, with its absurd limitations of speed and the liberty of the subject, and the advanced ideas of these new writers and intellectuals, always talking about the rights and sufferings of the poor. There was no progress along either of those roads. He had it in his heart, as he stood there on the pavement, to say something pretty definite to John about interference with the liberty of the subject, and he wouldn't mind giving old Felix a rap about his precious destructive doctrines, and continual girding at the upper classes, vested interests, and all the rest of it. If he had something to put in their place that would be another matter. Capital and those who controlled it were the backbone of the country—what there was left of the country, apart from these d—d officials and aesthetic fellows! And with a contraction of his straight eyebrows above his straight gray eyes, straight blunt nose, blunter moustaches, and blunt chin, he kept a tight rein on his blunt tongue, not choosing to give way even to his own anger.

Stanley Freeland, who had driven up from Becket—his country home near his manufacturing plant in Worcestershire—paused for a moment on the sidewalk, stretching his long legs and giving instructions to his chauffeur. He had been pulled over twice on the road for not exceeding the speed limit, which he believed he had followed, and was still a bit irritated. Wasn’t it his consistent principle to be moderate in speed like in all other aspects? At that moment, he felt even more strongly than usual that the country was struggling, overwhelmed by bureaucracy, with its ridiculous speed limits and restrictions on personal freedoms, along with the progressive ideas of these new writers and intellectuals, constantly discussing the rights and sufferings of the less fortunate. There was no real progress coming from either of those directions. As he stood there on the sidewalk, he felt compelled to say something pointed to John about the interference with personal liberties, and he wouldn’t mind giving old Felix a piece of his mind about his precious destructive ideas and constant attacks on the upper classes, vested interests, and all the rest. If he had an alternative to suggest, that would be a different story. Capital and those who controlled it were the backbone of the country—whatever was left of it, aside from those damned officials and artsy types! With a tightening of his straight eyebrows above his straight gray eyes, straight blunt nose, blunter mustache, and blunt chin, he kept a tight grip on his blunt tongue, unwilling to give in even to his own anger.

Then, perceiving Felix coming—'in a white topper, by Jove!'—he crossed the pavement to the door; and, tall, square, personable, rang the bell.

Then, noticing Felix approaching—'in a white top hat, really!'—he crossed the sidewalk to the door; and, tall, sturdy, and good-looking, rang the bell.





CHAPTER II

“Well, what's the matter at Tod's?”

“Well, what's going on at Tod's?”

And Felix moved a little forward in his chair, his eyes fixed with interest on Stanley, who was about to speak.

And Felix leaned slightly forward in his chair, his eyes focused with interest on Stanley, who was about to speak.

“It's that wife of his, of course. It was all very well so long as she confined herself to writing, and talk, and that Land Society, or whatever it was she founded, the one that snuffed out the other day; but now she's getting herself and those two youngsters mixed up in our local broils, and really I think Tod's got to be spoken to.”

“It's definitely his wife. Everything was fine as long as she stuck to writing, chatting, and that Land Society she started, the one that just fizzled out; but now she's dragging herself and those two kids into our local disputes, and honestly, I think someone needs to talk to Tod.”

“It's impossible for a husband to interfere with his wife's principles.” So Felix.

“It's impossible for a husband to interfere with his wife's principles.” So Felix.

“Principles!” The word came from John.

"Principles!" John said.

“Certainly! Kirsteen's a woman of great character; revolutionary by temperament. Why should you expect her to act as you would act yourselves?”

“Of course! Kirsteen is a woman of strong character; she’s naturally a revolutionary. Why would you expect her to behave like you would?”

When Felix had said that, there was a silence.

When Felix said that, there was silence.

Then Stanley muttered: “Poor old Tod!”

Then Stanley muttered, "Poor old Tod!"

Felix sighed, lost for a moment in his last vision of his youngest brother. It was four years ago now, a summer evening—Tod standing between his youngsters Derek and Sheila, in a doorway of his white, black-timbered, creepered cottage, his sunburnt face and blue eyes the serenest things one could see in a day's march!

Felix sighed, momentarily caught up in his last memory of his youngest brother. It was four years ago on a summer evening—Tod standing between his little ones, Derek and Sheila, in the doorway of his white, black-timbered cottage with a creeper, his sunburned face and blue eyes the most peaceful things you could see in a day's journey!

“Why 'poor'?” he said. “Tod's much happier than we are. You've only to look at him.”

“Why 'poor'?” he said. “Tod's way happier than we are. You just have to look at him.”

“Ah!” said Stanley suddenly. “D'you remember him at Father's funeral?—without his hat, and his head in the clouds. Fine-lookin' chap, old Tod—pity he's such a child of Nature.”

“Ah!” said Stanley suddenly. “Do you remember him at Dad's funeral?—without his hat, and his head in the clouds. Good-looking guy, old Tod—too bad he's such a free spirit.”

Felix said quietly:

Felix said softly:

“If you'd offered him a partnership, Stanley—it would have been the making of him.”

“If you had offered him a partnership, Stanley—it would have made all the difference for him.”

“Tod in the plough works? My hat!”

“Death in the plow works? Get out of here!”

Felix smiled. At sight of that smile, Stanley grew red, and John refilled his pipe. It is always the devil to have a brother more sarcastic than oneself!

Felix smiled. When Stanley saw that smile, he turned red, and John filled his pipe again. It’s always tough to have a brother who’s more sarcastic than you!

“How old are those two?” John said abruptly.

“How old are those two?” John asked suddenly.

“Sheila's twenty, Derek nineteen.”

“Sheila's 20, Derek's 19.”

“I thought the boy was at an agricultural college?”

“I thought the boy was at an ag school?”

“Finished.”

"Done."

“What's he like?”

"What's he like?"

“A black-haired, fiery fellow, not a bit like Tod.”

“A black-haired, fiery guy, nothing like Tod.”

John muttered: “That's her Celtic blood. Her father, old Colonel Moray, was just that sort; by George, he was a regular black Highlander. What's the trouble exactly?”

John muttered, “That's her Celtic blood. Her father, old Colonel Moray, was just that kind of guy; by George, he was a real black Highlander. What's the issue, exactly?”

It was Stanley who answered: “That sort of agitation business is all very well until it begins to affect your neighbors; then it's time it stopped. You know the Mallorings who own all the land round Tod's. Well, they've fallen foul of the Mallorings over what they call injustice to some laborers. Questions of morality involved. I don't know all the details. A man's got notice to quit over his deceased wife's sister; and some girl or other in another cottage has kicked over—just ordinary country incidents. What I want is that Tod should be made to see that his family mustn't quarrel with his nearest neighbors in this way. We know the Mallorings well, they're only seven miles from us at Becket. It doesn't do; sooner or later it plays the devil all round. And the air's full of agitation about the laborers and 'the Land,' and all the rest of it—only wants a spark to make real trouble.”

It was Stanley who responded: “This kind of unrest is fine until it starts to impact your neighbors; then it needs to stop. You know the Mallorings who own all the land around Tod's. Well, they've gotten into a dispute with the Mallorings over what they call unfair treatment of some workers. There are moral issues at play. I don't know all the details. A guy has been given notice to leave because of his late wife's sister; and some girl in another cottage has lost her temper—just typical rural stuff. What I want is for Tod to realize that his family shouldn't be fighting with their closest neighbors like this. We know the Mallorings well; they're only seven miles away from us at Becket. It’s not a good situation; sooner or later, it causes problems everywhere. Plus, there’s a lot of unrest about the workers and 'the Land,' and all of that—just needs a spark to ignite real trouble.”

And having finished this oration, Stanley thrust his hands deep into his pockets, and jingled the money that was there.

And after finishing this speech, Stanley shoved his hands deep into his pockets and jingled the change inside.

John said abruptly:

John said suddenly:

“Felix, you'd better go down.”

“Felix, you should go down.”

Felix was sitting back, his eyes for once withdrawn from his brothers' faces.

Felix was sitting back, his eyes for once turned away from his brothers' faces.

“Odd,” he said, “really odd, that with a perfectly unique person like Tod for a brother, we only see him once in a blue moon.”

“Strange,” he said, “really strange, that with such a one-of-a-kind person like Tod for a brother, we only see him once in a while.”

“It's because he IS so d—d unique.”

“It's because he is so damn unique.”

Felix got up and gravely extended his hand to Stanley.

Felix stood up and solemnly reached out his hand to Stanley.

“By Jove,” he said, “you've spoken truth.” And to John he added: “Well, I WILL go, and let you know the upshot.”

“By Jove,” he said, “you've spoken the truth.” And to John he added: “Well, I WILL go and let you know the outcome.”

When he had departed, the two elder brothers remained for some moments silent, then Stanley said:

When he left, the two older brothers stayed silent for a few moments, then Stanley said:

“Old Felix is a bit tryin'! With the fuss they make of him in the papers, his head's swelled!”

“Old Felix is a bit annoying! With all the attention he gets in the newspapers, his ego has inflated!”

John did not answer. One could not in so many words resent one's own brother being made a fuss of, and if it had been for something real, such as discovering the source of the Black River, conquering Bechuanaland, curing Blue-mange, or being made a Bishop, he would have been the first and most loyal in his appreciation; but for the sort of thing Felix made up—Fiction, and critical, acid, destructive sort of stuff, pretending to show John Freeland things that he hadn't seen before—as if Felix could!—not at all the jolly old romance which one could read well enough and enjoy till it sent you to sleep after a good day's work. No! that Felix should be made a fuss of for such work as that really almost hurt him. It was not quite decent, violating deep down one's sense of form, one's sense of health, one's traditions. Though he would not have admitted it, he secretly felt, too, that this fuss was dangerous to his own point of view, which was, of course, to him the only real one. And he merely said:

John didn’t respond. You couldn't openly resent your own brother getting all the attention, and if it had been for something significant, like discovering the source of the Black River, conquering Bechuanaland, curing Blue-mange, or becoming a Bishop, he would have been the first to appreciate it genuinely. But for the sort of stuff Felix created—fiction that was critical, biting, and destructive, pretending to reveal things to John Freeland that he hadn’t seen before—as if Felix could!—it wasn’t at all the fun, old romance that you could read and enjoy until it lulled you to sleep after a hard day’s work. No! The fact that Felix was being celebrated for that kind of work really upset him. It just didn’t seem right, violating a deep sense of order, a sense of well-being, and traditions. Though he wouldn't admit it, he also secretly felt that this attention was a threat to his own perspective, which he believed was the only real one. And he simply said:

“Will you stay to dinner, Stan?”

“Are you staying for dinner, Stan?”





CHAPTER III

If John had those sensations about Felix, so—when he was away from John—had Felix about himself. He had never quite grown out of the feeling that to make himself conspicuous in any way was bad form. In common with his three brothers he had been through the mills of gentility—those unique grinding machines of education only found in his native land. Tod, to be sure, had been publicly sacked at the end of his third term, for climbing on to the headmaster's roof and filling up two of his chimneys with football pants, from which he had omitted to remove his name. Felix still remembered the august scene—the horrid thrill of it, the ominous sound of that: “Freeland minimus!” the ominous sight of poor little Tod emerging from his obscurity near the roof of the Speech Room, and descending all those steps. How very small and rosy he had looked, his bright hair standing on end, and his little blue eyes staring up very hard from under a troubled frown. And the august hand holding up those sooty pants, and the august voice: “These appear to be yours, Freeland minimus. Were you so good as to put them down my chimneys?” And the little piping, “Yes, sir.”

If John felt that way about Felix, then Felix felt the same about himself when he was away from John. He had never really gotten over the notion that standing out in any way was bad form. Like his three brothers, he had gone through the grind of gentility—those unique educational pressures only found in his home country. Tod, for instance, had been publicly expelled at the end of his third term for climbing onto the headmaster's roof and stuffing two of his chimneys with football pants, from which he had forgotten to remove his name. Felix still remembered that grand scene—the awful thrill of it, the ominous words: “Freeland minimus!” and the painful sight of poor little Tod coming out of hiding near the roof of the Speech Room, carefully making his way down all those steps. He had looked so tiny and rosy, his bright hair all messy, and his little blue eyes wide with worry as he frowned. And then there was the authoritative hand holding up those sooty pants, along with the authoritative voice saying, “These appear to be yours, Freeland minimus. Did you happen to put them down my chimneys?” To which Tod piped up quietly, “Yes, sir.”

“May I ask why, Freeland minimus?”

“Can I ask why, Freeland minimus?”

“I don't know, sir.”

"Not sure, sir."

“You must have had some reason, Freeland minimus?”

“You must have had some reason, Freeland min?”

“It was the end of term, sir.”

"It was the end of the term, sir."

“Ah! You must not come back here, Freeland minimus. You are too dangerous, to yourself, and others. Go to your place.”

“Ah! You can't come back here, Freeland minimus. You're too dangerous, both to yourself and to others. Go to your designated area.”

And poor little Tod ascending again all those steps, cheeks more terribly rosy than ever, eyes bluer, from under a still more troubled frown; little mouth hard set; and breathing so that you could hear him six forms off. True, the new Head had been goaded by other outrages, the authors of which had not omitted to remove their names; but the want of humor, the amazing want of humor! As if it had not been a sign of first-rate stuff in Tod! And to this day Felix remembered with delight the little bubbling hiss that he himself had started, squelched at once, but rippling out again along the rows like tiny scattered lines of fire when a conflagration is suppressed. Expulsion had been the salvation of Tod! Or—his damnation? Which? God would know, but Felix was not certain. Having himself been fifteen years acquiring 'Mill' philosophy, and another fifteen years getting rid of it, he had now begun to think that after all there might be something in it. A philosophy that took everything, including itself, at face value, and questioned nothing, was sedative to nerves too highly strung by the continual examination of the insides of oneself and others, with a view to their alteration. Tod, of course, having been sent to Germany after his expulsion, as one naturally would be, and then put to farming, had never properly acquired 'Mill' manner, and never sloughed it off; and yet he was as sedative a man as you could meet.

And poor little Tod climbing all those steps again, his cheeks even rosier than before, his eyes bluer, and his frown deeper; his little mouth set tightly; and he was breathing so loudly you could hear him from six forms away. Sure, the new Head had been pushed to the limit by other offenses, and the culprits had made sure to hide their identities; but the lack of humor, the incredible lack of humor! As if that didn’t show Tod’s true character! Even now, Felix fondly remembered the little bubbling hiss he had started, immediately silenced, but then rippling out along the rows like tiny scattered sparks when a fire is put out. Being expelled had saved Tod! Or—damned him? Which one? Only God would know, but Felix wasn’t sure. After spending fifteen years embracing 'Mill' philosophy, and another fifteen years trying to shake it off, he was starting to think that maybe there was something to it after all. A philosophy that took everything, including itself, at face value and questioned nothing was soothing for nerves too tense from continually examining the inner workings of themselves and others, aiming for change. Tod, of course, having been sent to Germany after his expulsion, as was natural, and then put into farming, had never really picked up that 'Mill' attitude, nor let it go; yet he was as calming a person as you could find.

Emerging from the Tube station at Hampstead, he moved toward home under a sky stranger than one might see in a whole year of evenings. Between the pine-trees on the ridge it was opaque and colored like pinkish stone, and all around violent purple with flames of the young green, and white spring blossom lit against it. Spring had been dull and unimaginative so far, but this evening it was all fire and gathered torrents; Felix wondered at the waiting passion of that sky.

Emerging from the Tube station at Hampstead, he walked home under a sky more unusual than one would see in an entire year of evenings. Between the pine trees on the ridge, it was thick and colored like pinkish stone, surrounded by a vibrant purple with flames of fresh green, and white spring blossoms glowing against it. Spring had been dull and uninspired up to now, but this evening it was all fire and intense energy; Felix marveled at the pent-up passion of that sky.

He reached home just as those torrents began to fall.

He got home just as the heavy rain started to pour.

The old house, beyond the Spaniard's Road, save for mice and a faint underlying savor of wood-rot in two rooms, well satisfied the aesthetic sense. Felix often stood in his hall, study, bedroom, and other apartments, admiring the rich and simple glow of them—admiring the rarity and look of studied negligence about the stuffs, the flowers, the books, the furniture, the china; and then quite suddenly the feeling would sweep over him: “By George, do I really own all this, when my ideal is 'bread and water, and on feast days a little bit of cheese'?” True, he was not to blame for the niceness of his things—Flora did it; but still—there they were, a little hard to swallow for an epicurean. It might, of course, have been worse, for if Flora had a passion for collecting, it was a very chaste one, and though what she collected cost no little money, it always looked as if it had been inherited, and—as everybody knows—what has been inherited must be put up with, whether it be a coronet or a cruet-stand.

The old house, beyond the Spaniard's Road, aside from some mice and a faint smell of wood rot in two rooms, really satisfied the aesthetic sense. Felix often stood in his hall, study, bedroom, and other rooms, admiring their rich and simple glow—appreciating the rarity and the look of deliberate messiness of the decor, the flowers, the books, the furniture, the china; and then suddenly, he would think, “Wow, do I really own all this, when my ideal is just 'bread and water, and on feast days a little bit of cheese'?” Sure, he wasn’t responsible for the quality of his things—Flora handled that; but still—there they were, a bit hard to digest for someone who appreciated the finer things. It could have been worse, though, because even though Flora had a passion for collecting, it was a very modest one. And although what she collected wasn’t cheap, it always looked like it came from inheritance, and—as everyone knows—things that have been inherited must be accepted, whether it's a coronet or a cruet-stand.

To collect old things, and write poetry! It was a career; one would not have one's wife otherwise. She might, for instance, have been like Stanley's wife, Clara, whose career was wealth and station; or John's wife, Anne, whose career had been cut short; or even Tod's wife, Kirsteen, whose career was revolution. No—a wife who had two, and only two children, and treated them with affectionate surprise, who was never out of temper, never in a hurry, knew the points of a book or play, could cut your hair at a pinch; whose hand was dry, figure still good, verse tolerable, and—above all—who wished for no better fate than Fate had given her—was a wife not to be sneezed at. And Felix never had. He had depicted so many sneezing wives and husbands in his books, and knew the value of a happy marriage better perhaps than any one in England. He had laid marriage low a dozen times, wrecked it on all sorts of rocks, and had the greater veneration for his own, which had begun early, manifested every symptom of ending late, and in the meantime walked down the years holding hands fast, and by no means forgetting to touch lips.

To collect old things and write poetry! It was a career; you wouldn’t have your wife any other way. She could have been like Stanley's wife, Clara, who focused on wealth and status; or John's wife, Anne, whose career had been cut short; or even Tod's wife, Kirsteen, who was all about revolution. No— a wife who had two, and only two, children, treated them with loving surprise, was never in a bad mood, never rushed, knew her books and plays, could even cut your hair when necessary; whose hands were dry, body still looking good, poetry decent, and—most importantly—who wanted nothing more than the life Fate had given her—was a wife not to be taken lightly. And Felix never did. He had portrayed so many sneezing wives and husbands in his books and understood the value of a happy marriage perhaps better than anyone in England. He had knocked the idea of marriage down a dozen times, crashed it against all sorts of obstacles, and held even greater respect for his own, which had started early, showed every sign of lasting long, and in the meantime, walked through the years holding hands tightly and definitely not forgetting to kiss.

Hanging up the gray top hat, he went in search of her. He found her in his dressing-room, surrounded by a number of little bottles, which she was examining vaguely, and putting one by one into an 'inherited' waste-paper basket. Having watched her for a little while with a certain pleasure, he said:

Hanging up the gray top hat, he went in search of her. He found her in his dressing room, surrounded by a number of little bottles, which she was examining absentmindedly and throwing one by one into an 'inherited' wastebasket. After watching her for a while with a certain pleasure, he said:

“Yes, my dear?”

"Yes, dear?"

Noticing his presence, and continuing to put bottles into the basket, she answered:

Noticing he was there, and still putting bottles into the basket, she replied:

“I thought I must—they're what dear Mother's given us.”

“I thought I should—they're what dear Mom gave us.”

There they lay—little bottles filled with white and brown fluids, white and blue and brown powders; green and brown and yellow ointments; black lozenges; buff plasters; blue and pink and purple pills. All beautifully labelled and corked.

There they were—small bottles filled with white and brown liquids, white, blue, and brown powders; green, brown, and yellow creams; black lozenges; beige bandages; blue, pink, and purple pills. All perfectly labeled and sealed.

And he said in a rather faltering voice:

And he said in a somewhat shaky voice:

“Bless her! How she does give her things away! Haven't we used ANY?”

“Bless her! She really gives away her things! Haven't we used ANY?”

“Not one. And they have to be cleared away before they're stale, for fear we might take one by mistake.”

“Not a single one. And they need to be gotten rid of before they go bad, because we don't want to accidentally grab one.”

“Poor Mother!”

“Poor Mom!”

“My dear, she's found something newer than them all by now.”

“My dear, she’s discovered something more recent than anything else by now.”

Felix sighed.

Felix let out a sigh.

“The nomadic spirit. I have it, too!”

“The nomadic spirit. I have that, too!”

And a sudden vision came to him of his mother's carved ivory face, kept free of wrinkles by sheer will-power, its firm chin, slightly aquiline nose, and measured brows; its eyes that saw everything so quickly, so fastidiously, its compressed mouth that smiled sweetly, with a resolute but pathetic acceptation. Of the piece of fine lace, sometimes black, sometimes white, over her gray hair. Of her hands, so thin now, always moving a little, as if all the composure and care not to offend any eye by allowing Time to ravage her face, were avenging themselves in that constant movement. Of her figure, that was short but did not seem so, still quick-moving, still alert, and always dressed in black or gray. A vision of that exact, fastidious, wandering spirit called Frances Fleeming Freeland—that spirit strangely compounded of domination and humility, of acceptation and cynicism; precise and actual to the point of desert dryness; generous to a point that caused her family to despair; and always, beyond all things, brave.

And a sudden vision came to him of his mother’s carved ivory face, kept free of wrinkles by pure willpower, with her firm chin, slightly hooked nose, and measured brows; her eyes that noticed everything so quickly, so meticulously, her tight-lipped smile that was sweet, with a determined but sad acceptance. The piece of fine lace, sometimes black, sometimes white, draped over her gray hair. Her hands, now so thin, always moving a little, as if all the composure and effort to avoid offending anyone by letting Time take its toll on her face were taking revenge in that constant motion. Her figure, though short, didn’t seem so, still quick-moving, still alert, and always dressed in black or gray. A vision of that precise, meticulous, wandering spirit named Frances Fleeming Freeland—that spirit oddly made up of control and humility, of acceptance and cynicism; exact and real to the point of being painfully dry; generous to an extent that made her family despair; and always, above all else, brave.

Flora dropped the last little bottle, and sitting on the edge of the bath let her eyebrows rise. How pleasant was that impersonal humor which made her superior to other wives!

Flora dropped the last small bottle and, sitting on the edge of the bath, raised her eyebrows. How nice was that detached humor that made her feel above other wives!

“You—nomadic? How?”

"You—traveling around? How?"

“Mother travels unceasingly from place to place, person to person, thing to thing. I travel unceasingly from motive to motive, mind to mind; my native air is also desert air—hence the sterility of my work.”

“Mother moves constantly from place to place, person to person, thing to thing. I move constantly from motive to motive, mind to mind; my natural environment is also dry air—hence the lack of life in my work.”

Flora rose, but her eyebrows descended.

Flora stood up, but her eyebrows furrowed.

“Your work,” she said, “is not sterile.”

“Your work,” she said, “is not clean.”

“That, my dear,” said Felix, “is prejudice.” And perceiving that she was going to kiss him, he waited without annoyance. For a woman of forty-two, with two children and three books of poems—and not knowing which had taken least out of her—with hazel-gray eyes, wavy eyebrows darker than they should have been, a glint of red in her hair; wavy figure and lips; quaint, half-humorous indolence, quaint, half-humorous warmth—was she not as satisfactory a woman as a man could possibly have married!

“That, my dear,” said Felix, “is prejudice.” And noticing that she was about to kiss him, he waited without any irritation. For a woman of forty-two, with two kids and three poetry books—and unclear about which had cost her less—had hazel-gray eyes, wavy eyebrows darker than they should have been, a hint of red in her hair; a curvy figure and lips; a charming, half-amused laziness, and a quirky, half-amused warmth—wasn’t she as great a woman as any man could hope to marry!

“I have got to go down and see Tod,” he said. “I like that wife of his; but she has no sense of humor. How much better principles are in theory than in practice!”

“I need to go see Tod,” he said. “I like his wife; but she has no sense of humor. How much better principles sound in theory than in practice!”

Flora repeated softly, as if to herself:

Flora softly echoed, almost to herself:

“I'm glad I have none.” She was at the window leaning out, and Felix took his place beside her. The air was full of scent from wet leaves, alive with the song of birds thanking the sky. Suddenly he felt her arm round his ribs; either it or they—which, he could not at the moment tell—seemed extraordinarily soft....

“I'm glad I don't have any.” She was leaning out of the window, and Felix took his place next to her. The air was filled with the smell of wet leaves and alive with the songs of birds singing to the sky. Suddenly, he felt her arm around his waist; either that or they—which, he couldn’t quite tell at the moment—felt incredibly soft....

Between Felix and his young daughter, Nedda, there existed the only kind of love, except a mother's, which has much permanence—love based on mutual admiration. Though why Nedda, with her starry innocence, should admire him, Felix could never understand, not realizing that she read his books, and even analyzed them for herself in the diary which she kept religiously, writing it when she ought to have been asleep. He had therefore no knowledge of the way his written thoughts stimulated the ceaseless questioning that was always going on within her; the thirst to know why this was and that was not. Why, for instance, her heart ached so some days and felt light and eager other days? Why, when people wrote and talked of God, they seemed to know what He was, and she never did? Why people had to suffer; and the world be black to so many millions? Why one could not love more than one man at a time? Why—a thousand things? Felix's books supplied no answers to these questions, but they were comforting; for her real need as yet was not for answers, but ever for more questions, as a young bird's need is for opening its beak without quite knowing what is coming out or going in. When she and her father walked, or sat, or went to concerts together, their talk was neither particularly intimate nor particularly voluble; they made to each other no great confidences. Yet each was certain that the other was not bored—a great thing; and they squeezed each other's little fingers a good deal—very warming. Now with his son Alan, Felix had a continual sensation of having to keep up to a mark and never succeeding—a feeling, as in his favorite nightmare, of trying to pass an examination for which he had neglected to prepare; of having to preserve, in fact, form proper to the father of Alan Freeland. With Nedda he had a sense of refreshment; the delight one has on a spring day, watching a clear stream, a bank of flowers, birds flying. And Nedda with her father—what feeling had she? To be with him was like a long stroking with a touch of tickle in it; to read his books, a long tickle with a nice touch of stroking now and then when one was not expecting it.

Between Felix and his young daughter, Nedda, there was a unique kind of love, aside from a mother's, that had real staying power—love based on mutual admiration. Although Felix couldn't figure out why Nedda, with her innocent wonder, admired him, he didn’t realize that she read his books and even analyzed them in her diary, which she kept diligently, writing in it when she should have been asleep. He had no idea how his written thoughts sparked the endless questions that buzzed in her mind; the craving to understand why some days her heart ached and others felt light and excited. Why did people seem to know what God was when she never did? Why did suffering exist; why was the world dark for so many? Why couldn’t one love more than one man at a time? Why—so many things? Felix's books didn't provide answers, but they were comforting; her real need wasn't for answers yet but for more questions, like a young bird needing to open its beak without knowing what would come out or go in. When she and her father walked, sat, or attended concerts together, their conversations weren’t particularly deep or chatty; they didn’t share big secrets. Yet, they each felt that the other wasn’t bored—a significant point; and they squeezed each other’s tiny fingers often—a warm gesture. With his son Alan, Felix constantly felt like he had to meet a demanding standard and never managed to—like in his recurring nightmare of trying to pass an exam he hadn't studied for; he felt the pressure to maintain the image of the father of Alan Freeland. With Nedda, however, he felt refreshed; it was the joy of a spring day, watching a clear stream, a bank of flowers, and birds flying. And what did Nedda feel with her father? Being with him felt like a gentle, ticklish stroke; reading his books was a prolonged tickle with that nice touch of a gentle stroke surprising her now and then.

That night after dinner, when Alan had gone out and Flora into a dream, she snuggled up alongside her father, got hold of his little finger, and whispered:

That night after dinner, when Alan had gone out and Flora was dreaming, she cuddled up next to her dad, grabbed his little finger, and whispered:

“Come into the garden, Dad; I'll put on goloshes. It's an awfully nice moon.”

“Come into the garden, Dad; I'll put on my galoshes. The moon is really nice.”

The moon indeed was palest gold behind the pines, so that its radiance was a mere shower of pollen, just a brushing of white moth-down over the reeds of their little dark pond, and the black blur of the flowering currant bushes. And the young lime-trees, not yet in full leaf, quivered ecstatically in that moon-witchery, still letting fall raindrops of the past spring torrent, with soft hissing sounds. A real sense in the garden, of God holding his breath in the presence of his own youth swelling, growing, trembling toward perfection! Somewhere a bird—a thrush, they thought—mixed in its little mind as to night and day, was queerly chirruping. And Felix and his daughter went along the dark wet paths, holding each other's arms, not talking much. For, in him, very responsive to the moods of Nature, there was a flattered feeling, with that young arm in his, of Spring having chosen to confide in him this whispering, rustling hour. And in Nedda was so much of that night's unutterable youth—no wonder she was silent! Then, somehow—neither responsible—they stood motionless. How quiet it was, but for a distant dog or two, and the stilly shivering-down of the water drops, and the far vibration of the million-voiced city! How quiet and soft and fresh! Then Nedda spoke:

The moon was a pale gold behind the pines, casting its light like a gentle shower of pollen, just a soft dusting of white moth down on the reeds of their dark little pond and the black shapes of the flowering currant bushes. The young lime trees, not yet fully leafed out, trembled ecstatically in that moonlit magic, still dripping with raindrops from the spring downpour, making soft hissing sounds. There was a real sense in the garden, as if God was holding his breath while witnessing his own youth blossoming, growing, and reaching for perfection! Somewhere a bird—a thrush, they thought—was oddly chirping, confused about night and day. Felix and his daughter walked along the dark, wet paths, linked at the arms and mostly silent. In him, deeply attuned to the moods of Nature, there was a pleased feeling, with that young arm in his, as if Spring had chosen to share this quiet, rustling hour with him. And within Nedda was so much of the night's unexpressed youth—no wonder she was quiet! Then, somehow—neither of them aware—they stood still. It was so peaceful, except for a distant dog or two, the soft dripping of water drops, and the distant hum of the vibrant city! So quiet, soft, and fresh! Then Nedda spoke:

“Dad, I do so want to know everything.”

“Dad, I really want to know everything.”

Not rousing even a smile, with its sublime immodesty, that aspiration seemed to Felix infinitely touching. What less could youth want in the very heart of Spring? And, watching her face put up to the night, her parted lips, and the moon-gleam fingering her white throat, he answered:

Not even managing to bring a smile, its amazing boldness seemed to touch Felix deeply. What more could youth desire at the very height of Spring? And, as he watched her face turned up to the night, her lips slightly parted, and the moonlight dancing on her pale throat, he replied:

“It'll all come soon enough, my pretty!”

“It'll all come soon enough, my dear!”

To think that she must come to an end like the rest, having found out almost nothing, having discovered just herself, and the particle of God that was within her! But he could not, of course, say this.

To think that she would have to end up like everyone else, having learned so little and only discovering herself and the spark of the divine within her! But he couldn't, of course, say this.

“I want to FEEL. Can't I begin?”

“I want to FEEL. Can’t I start?”

How many millions of young creatures all the world over were sending up that white prayer to climb and twine toward the stars, and—fall to earth again! And nothing to be answered, but:

How many millions of young beings all around the world were sending up that white prayer to reach and twist toward the stars, only to fall back to earth again! And there was no response, except:

“Time enough, Nedda!”

"Plenty of time, Nedda!"

“But, Dad, there are such heaps of things, such heaps of people, and reasons, and—and life; and I know nothing. Dreams are the only times, it seems to me, that one finds out anything.”

“But, Dad, there are so many things, so many people, and reasons, and—and life; and I know nothing. Dreams are the only times, it seems to me, when you find out anything.”

“As for that, my child, I am exactly in your case. What's to be done for us?”

“As for that, my child, I’m right there with you. What are we supposed to do?”

She slid her hand through his arm again.

She looped her arm through his again.

“Don't laugh at me!”

“Don't make fun of me!”

“Heaven forbid! I meant it. You're finding out much quicker than I. It's all folk-music to you still; to me Strauss and the rest of the tired stuff. The variations my mind spins—wouldn't I just swap them for the tunes your mind is making?”

“Heaven forbid! I really meant it. You’re figuring it all out way faster than I am. To you, it’s still all folk music; to me, it’s Strauss and the same old tired stuff. The variations my mind creates—wouldn’t I just trade them for the tunes your mind is coming up with?”

“I don't seem making tunes at all. I don't seem to have anything to make them of. Take me down to see 'the Tods,' Dad!”

“I can't seem to come up with any tunes at all. I don't seem to have anything to create them with. Take me down to see 'the Tods,' Dad!”

Why not? And yet—! Just as in this spring night Felix felt so much, so very much, lying out there behind the still and moony dark, such marvellous holding of breath and waiting sentiency, so behind this innocent petition, he could not help the feeling of a lurking fatefulness. That was absurd. And he said: “If you wish it, by all means. You'll like your Uncle Tod; as to the others, I can't say, but your aunt is an experience, and experiences are what you want, it seems.”

Why not? And yet—! Just like on this spring night, Felix felt so much, so deeply, lying out there in the quiet, moonlit darkness, filled with an incredible sense of anticipation and awareness. Behind this innocent request, he couldn't shake the feeling of something ominous lurking. That was ridiculous. So he said: “If you want to, go ahead. You'll enjoy your Uncle Tod; as for the others, I can't guarantee anything, but your aunt is quite an experience, and it seems that’s what you’re looking for.”

Fervently, without speech, Nedda squeezed his arm.

Fervently, without saying a word, Nedda squeezed his arm.





CHAPTER IV

Stanley Freeland's country house, Becket, was almost a show place. It stood in its park and pastures two miles from the little town of Transham and the Morton Plough Works; close to the ancestral home of the Moretons, his mother's family—that home burned down by Roundheads in the Civil War. The site—certain vagaries in the ground—Mrs. Stanley had caused to be walled round, and consecrated so to speak with a stone medallion on which were engraved the aged Moreton arms—arrows and crescent moons in proper juxtaposition. Peacocks, too—that bird 'parlant,' from the old Moreton crest—were encouraged to dwell there and utter their cries, as of passionate souls lost in too comfortable surroundings.

Stanley Freeland's country house, Becket, was practically a showcase. It was set in its park and fields two miles from the small town of Transham and the Morton Plough Works; nearby was the ancestral home of the Moretons, his mother's family—a house that was burned down by Roundheads during the Civil War. The site—certain quirks in the land—Mrs. Stanley had enclosed with a wall and dedicated, so to speak, with a stone medallion engraved with the ancient Moreton coat of arms—arrows and crescent moons in the right arrangement. Peacocks, that 'talking' bird from the old Moreton crest, were also encouraged to live there and express their calls, like passionate souls trapped in overly comfortable surroundings.

By one of those freaks of which Nature is so prodigal, Stanley—owner of this native Moreton soil—least of all four Freeland brothers, had the Moreton cast of mind and body. That was why he made so much more money than the other three put together, and had been able, with the aid of Clara's undoubted genius for rank and station, to restore a strain of Moreton blood to its rightful position among the county families of Worcestershire. Bluff and without sentiment, he himself set little store by that, smiling up his sleeve—for he was both kindly and prudent—at his wife who had been a Tomson. It was not in Stanley to appreciate the peculiar flavor of the Moretons, that something which in spite of their naivete and narrowness, had really been rather fine. To him, such Moretons as were left were 'dry enough sticks, clean out of it.' They were of a breed that was already gone, the simplest of all country gentlemen, dating back to the Conquest, without one solitary conspicuous ancestor, save the one who had been physician to a king and perished without issue—marrying from generation to generation exactly their own equals; living simple, pious, parochial lives; never in trade, never making money, having a tradition and a practice of gentility more punctilious than the so-called aristocracy; constitutionally paternal and maternal to their dependents, constitutionally so convinced that those dependents and all indeed who were not 'gentry,' were of different clay, that they were entirely simple and entirely without arrogance, carrying with them even now a sort of Early atmosphere of archery and home-made cordials, lavender and love of clergy, together with frequent use of the word 'nice,' a peculiar regularity of feature, and a complexion that was rather parchmenty. High Church people and Tories, naturally, to a man and woman, by sheer inbred absence of ideas, and sheer inbred conviction that nothing else was nice; but withal very considerate of others, really plucky in bearing their own ills; not greedy, and not wasteful.

Due to one of those quirks that nature often displays, Stanley—the owner of this native Moreton land—was the least representative of the four Freeland brothers when it came to the Moreton mindset and physique. That’s why he made significantly more money than the other three combined, and with Clara's undeniable talent for social climbing, he was able to elevate a line of Moreton blood to its rightful place among the county families of Worcestershire. Direct and pragmatic, he didn’t value this much himself, secretly smiling at his wife, who was a Tomson. Stanley couldn’t appreciate the unique essence of the Moretons, something that, despite their simplicity and narrow-mindedness, had a certain refinement. To him, the remaining Moretons were just 'dry sticks, completely out of touch.' They belonged to a lineage that was fading, the most straightforward type of country gentlemen, tracing back to the Conquest, without a single notable ancestor except for one who had been a king's physician and died childless—marrying only their equals for generations; living simple, devout, and community-focused lives; never involved in trade, never accumulating wealth, upholding a tradition and practice of gentility that was more meticulous than that of the so-called aristocracy; fundamentally paternal and maternal towards their dependents, and firmly believing that those dependents and anyone who wasn’t 'gentry' were fundamentally different, which made them entirely humble and entirely unpretentious. They still carried an old-time charm characterized by archery, homemade cordials, lavender, and a fondness for the clergy, along with a frequent use of the word 'nice,' a distinctive regularity of features, and a somewhat parchment-like complexion. Naturally, they were all High Church and Tory by an inherent lack of ideas and an ingrained belief that nothing else was nice; but they were also very considerate of others, truly brave in enduring their own struggles; not greedy and not wasteful.

Of Becket, as it now was, they would not have approved at all. By what chance Edmund Moreton (Stanley's mother's grandfather), in the middle of the eighteenth century, had suddenly diverged from family feeling and ideals, and taken that 'not quite nice' resolution to make ploughs and money, would never now be known. The fact remained, together with the plough works. A man apparently of curious energy and character, considering his origin, he had dropped the E from his name, and—though he continued the family tradition so far as to marry a Fleeming of Worcestershire, to be paternal to his workmen, to be known as Squire, and to bring his children up in the older Moreton 'niceness'—he had yet managed to make his ploughs quite celebrated, to found a little town, and die still handsome and clean-shaved at the age of sixty-six. Of his four sons, only two could be found sufficiently without the E to go on making ploughs. Stanley's grandfather, Stuart Morton, indeed, had tried hard, but in the end had reverted to the congenital instinct for being just a Moreton. An extremely amiable man, he took to wandering with his family, and died in France, leaving one daughter—Frances, Stanley's mother—and three sons, one of whom, absorbed in horses, wandered to Australia and was killed by falling from them; one of whom, a soldier, wandered to India, and the embraces of a snake; and one of whom wandered into the embraces of the Holy Roman Church.

They wouldn’t have approved of Becket as it was now. How Edmund Moreton (Stanley’s maternal great-grandfather) suddenly broke away from family traditions and ideals in the mid-eighteenth century to pursue that "not quite nice" decision to manufacture plows and make money will never be known. What mattered was the outcome, along with the plow works. He was a man of unusual energy and character, considering where he came from. He dropped the E from his name and—while he kept some family traditions by marrying a Fleeming from Worcestershire, caring for his workers, earning the title of Squire, and raising his children with the old Moreton values—he also succeeded in making his plows quite famous, founding a small town, and passing away looking good and well-groomed at sixty-six. Of his four sons, only two were able to continue the plow business without the E. Stanley’s grandfather, Stuart Morton, did try hard, but in the end, he returned to the family’s instinct and became just a Moreton. He was a very friendly man who enjoyed traveling with his family and died in France, leaving behind one daughter—Frances, Stanley’s mother—and three sons: one son, who loved horses, went to Australia and was killed in a fall; another son, a soldier, went to India and met a snake; and the third son joined the Holy Roman Church.

The Morton Plough Works were dry and dwindling when Stanley's father, seeking an opening for his son, put him and money into them. From that moment they had never looked back, and now brought Stanley, the sole proprietor, an income of full fifteen thousand pounds a year. He wanted it. For Clara, his wife, had that energy of aspiration which before now has raised women to positions of importance in the counties which are not their own, and caused, incidentally, many acres to go out of cultivation. Not one plough was used on the whole of Becket, not even a Morton plough—these indeed were unsuitable to English soil and were all sent abroad. It was the corner-stone of his success that Stanley had completely seen through the talked-of revival of English agriculture, and sedulously cultivated the foreign market. This was why the Becket dining-room could contain without straining itself large quantities of local magnates and celebrities from London, all deploring the condition of 'the Land,' and discussing without end the regrettable position of the agricultural laborer. Except for literary men and painters, present in small quantities to leaven the lump, Becket was, in fact, a rallying point for the advanced spirits of Land Reform—one of those places where they were sure of being well done at week-ends, and of congenial and even stimulating talk about the undoubted need for doing something, and the designs which were being entertained upon 'the Land' by either party. This very heart of English country that the old Moretons in their paternal way had so religiously farmed, making out of its lush grass and waving corn a simple and by no means selfish or ungenerous subsistence, was now entirely lawns, park, coverts, and private golf course, together with enough grass to support the kine which yielded that continual stream of milk necessary to Clara's entertainments and children, all female, save little Francis, and still of tender years. Of gardeners, keepers, cow-men, chauffeurs, footmen, stablemen—full twenty were supported on those fifteen hundred acres that formed the little Becket demesne. Of agricultural laborers proper—that vexed individual so much in the air, so reluctant to stay on 'the Land,' and so difficult to house when he was there, there were fortunately none, so that it was possible for Stanley, whose wife meant him to 'put up' for the Division, and his guests, who were frequently in Parliament, to hold entirely unbiassed and impersonal views upon the whole question so long as they were at Becket.

The Morton Plough Works were dry and struggling when Stanley's father, looking for an opportunity for his son, invested both him and some money in the business. From that moment on, they never looked back, and now they brought Stanley, the sole owner, an income of fifteen thousand pounds a year. He needed it. Clara, his wife, had that drive for ambition which has previously helped women rise to significant positions in counties that weren't their own and had also caused many acres to be taken out of cultivation. Not a single plough was used on all of Becket, not even a Morton plough—those were unsuitable for English soil and were all shipped abroad. The cornerstone of Stanley's success was that he had completely seen through the much-talked-about revival of English agriculture and diligently cultivated the foreign market. This is why the Becket dining room could comfortably accommodate a large number of local dignitaries and celebrities from London, all lamenting the state of 'the Land' and endlessly discussing the unfortunate situation of agricultural workers. Except for a few writers and artists, who were present in small numbers to balance things out, Becket was essentially a gathering spot for progressive Land Reform advocates—one of those places where they were sure to be well-treated on weekends and engaged in stimulating conversations about the undeniable need for action and the plans being discussed regarding 'the Land' by either party. This very heart of English countryside that the old Moretons had so faithfully farmed, turning its rich grass and waving corn into a simple and generous livelihood, was now completely transformed into lawns, parks, woods, and a private golf course, along with enough grass to support the cows that provided the steady stream of milk necessary for Clara's gatherings and their children, all girls except for little Francis, who was still quite young. A full twenty staff—gardeners, gamekeepers, cowhands, chauffeurs, footmen, and stablehands—were supported on those fifteen hundred acres that made up the small Becket estate. Fortunately, there were no proper agricultural workers—those troubled individuals who seemed so disenchanted, so unwilling to stay on 'the Land,' and so hard to house when they did—so Stanley could hold completely unbiased and impersonal opinions on the entire issue while at Becket, where his wife expected him to 'prepare' for the Division, and where his guests, who often sat in Parliament, were also present.

It was beautiful there, too, with the bright open fields hedged with great elms, and that ever-rich serenity of its grass and trees. The white house, timbered with dark beams in true Worcestershire fashion, and added-to from time to time, had preserved, thanks to a fine architect, an old-fashioned air of spacious presidency above its gardens and lawns. On the long artificial lake, with innumerable rushy nooks and water-lilies and coverture of leaves floating flat and bright in the sun, the half-tame wild duck and shy water-hens had remote little worlds, and flew and splashed when all Becket was abed, quite as if the human spirit, with its monkey-tricks and its little divine flame, had not yet been born.

It was beautiful there, too, with bright open fields bordered by massive elms, and the rich tranquility of its grass and trees. The white house, framed with dark beams in the traditional Worcestershire style, and occasionally expanded, had maintained, thanks to a skilled architect, an old-fashioned sense of spaciousness overlooking its gardens and lawns. On the long man-made lake, with countless rushy nooks and water lilies, along with leaves floating bright and flat in the sun, the semi-tame wild ducks and timid water hens had their own little worlds, flying and splashing when all of Becket was asleep, as if the human spirit, with its fooling around and its small divine spark, hadn't been born yet.

Under the shade of a copper-beech, just where the drive cut through into its circle before the house, an old lady was sitting that afternoon on a campstool. She was dressed in gray alpaca, light and cool, and had on her iron-gray hair a piece of black lace. A number of Hearth and Home and a little pair of scissors, suspended by an inexpensive chain from her waist, rested on her knee, for she had been meaning to cut out for dear Felix a certain recipe for keeping the head cool; but, as a fact, she sat without doing so, very still, save that, now and then, she compressed her pale fine lips, and continually moved her pale fine hands. She was evidently waiting for something that promised excitement, even pleasure, for a little rose-leaf flush had quavered up into a face that was colored like parchment; and her gray eyes under regular and still-dark brows, very far apart, between which there was no semblance of a wrinkle, seemed noting little definite things about her, almost unwillingly, as an Arab's or a Red Indian's eyes will continue to note things in the present, however their minds may be set on the future. So sat Frances Fleeming Freeland (nee Morton) waiting for the arrival of her son Felix and her grandchildren Alan and Nedda.

Under the shade of a copper-beech tree, right where the driveway led into a circle in front of the house, an old lady was sitting that afternoon on a camp stool. She was dressed in light and cool gray alpaca and wore a piece of black lace on her iron-gray hair. A few Hearth and Home magazines and a small pair of scissors, hanging from a cheap chain at her waist, rested on her knee because she had planned to cut out a recipe for keeping cool for her dear Felix. But, in reality, she sat there without doing it, very still, except for occasionally pressing her pale, delicate lips together and constantly moving her pale, delicate hands. It was clear she was waiting for something that promised excitement, even pleasure, as a slight blush had crept into a face that was the color of parchment; and her gray eyes, under perfectly shaped and still-dark brows, very far apart and devoid of any wrinkles, seemed to be taking in little details about her surroundings, almost reluctantly, much like how an Arab's or a Native American's eyes might observe things in the present while their minds are focused on the future. So sat Frances Fleeming Freeland (nee Morton), waiting for the arrival of her son Felix and her grandchildren Alan and Nedda.

She marked presently an old man limping slowly on a stick toward where the drive debouched, and thought at once: “He oughtn't to be coming this way. I expect he doesn't know the way round to the back. Poor man, he's very lame. He looks respectable, too.” She got up and went toward him, remarking that his face with nice gray moustaches was wonderfully regular, almost like a gentleman's, and that he touched his dusty hat with quite old-fashioned courtesy. And smiling—her smile was sweet but critical—she said: “You'll find the best way is to go back to that little path, and past the greenhouses. Have you hurt your leg?”

She soon noticed an old man limping slowly on a cane toward where the driveway opened up, and she thought immediately: “He shouldn’t be coming this way. I bet he doesn’t know the shortcut to the back. Poor guy, he’s really lame. He looks respectable, too.” She stood up and walked over to him, noting that his face, with its nice gray mustache, was surprisingly handsome, almost like a gentleman’s, and that he tipped his dusty hat with quite old-fashioned politeness. Smiling—her smile was sweet but a bit critical—she said: “You’ll find the best way is to go back to that little path and past the greenhouses. Did you hurt your leg?”

“My leg's been like that, m'm, fifteen year come Michaelmas.”

“My leg's been like that for about fifteen years since Michaelmas.”

“How did it happen?”

“How did it occur?”

“Ploughin'. The bone was injured; an' now they say the muscle's dried up in a manner of speakin'.”

“Ploughin'. The bone was hurt; and now they say the muscle's dried up, so to speak.”

“What do you do for it? The very best thing is this.”

“What do you do for it? The absolute best thing is this.”

From the recesses of a deep pocket, placed where no one else wore such a thing, she brought out a little pot.

From the depths of a deep pocket, tucked away where no one else would keep something like that, she pulled out a small pot.

“You must let me give it you. Put it on when you go to bed, and rub it well in; you'll find it act splendidly.”

“You have to let me give this to you. Put it on before you go to bed and rub it in well; you'll see it works great.”

The old man took the little pot with dubious reverence.

The old man picked up the little pot with uncertain respect.

“Yes, m'm,” he said; “thank you, m'm.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he said; “thank you, ma'am.”

“What is your name?”

“What’s your name?”

“Gaunt.”

“Emaciated.”

“And where do you live?”

"Where do you live?"

“Over to Joyfields, m'm.”

“Heading to Joyfields, ma'am.”

“Joyfields—another of my sons lives there—Mr. Morton Freeland. But it's seven miles.”

“Joyfields—another one of my sons lives there—Mr. Morton Freeland. But it's seven miles.”

“I got a lift half-way.”

“I got a ride partway.”

“And have you business at the house?” The old man was silent; the downcast, rather cynical look of his lined face deepened. And Frances Freeland thought: 'He's overtired. They must give him some tea and an egg. What can he want, coming all this way? He's evidently not a beggar.'

“And do you have business at the house?” The old man didn't reply; the disappointed, somewhat cynical expression on his wrinkled face grew stronger. Frances Freeland thought: 'He's worn out. They should get him some tea and an egg. What could he possibly want, coming all this way? He clearly isn’t a beggar.'

The old man who was not a beggar spoke suddenly:

The old man who wasn't a beggar suddenly spoke:

“I know the Mr. Freeland at Joyfields. He's a good gentleman, too.”

“I know Mr. Freeland at Joyfields. He's a nice guy, too.”

“Yes, he is. I wonder I don't know you.”

“Yes, he is. I’m surprised I don’t know you.”

“I'm not much about, owin' to my leg. It's my grand-daughter in service here, I come to see.”

“I'm not around much, thanks to my leg. I came to see my granddaughter who's working here.”

“Oh, yes! What is her name?”

“Oh, yes! What’s her name?”

“Gaunt her name is.”

"Her name is Gaunt."

“I shouldn't know her by her surname.”

“I shouldn’t know her by her last name.”

“Alice.”

“Alice.”

“Ah! in the kitchen; a nice, pretty girl. I hope you're not in trouble.”

“Ah! in the kitchen; a lovely girl. I hope you're not in any trouble.”

Again the old man was silent, and again spoke suddenly:

Again, the old man was silent, and once more he spoke suddenly:

“That's as you look at it, m'm,” he said. “I've got a matter of a few words to have with her about the family. Her father he couldn't come, so I come instead.”

“That's how you see it, ma'am,” he said. “I need to have a quick chat with her about the family. Her father couldn't make it, so I'm here instead.”

“And how are you going to get back?”

“And how are you planning to get back?”

“I'll have to walk, I expect, without I can pick up with a cart.”

“I guess I’ll have to walk unless I can grab a cart.”

Frances Freeland compressed her lips. “With that leg you should have come by train.”

Frances Freeland pressed her lips together. “With that leg, you should have taken the train.”

The old man smiled.

The elderly man smiled.

“I hadn't the fare like,” he said. “I only gets five shillin's a week, from the council, and two o' that I pays over to my son.”

“I didn’t have the fare,” he said. “I only get five shillings a week from the council, and I pay two of that to my son.”

Frances Freeland thrust her hand once more into that deep pocket, and as she did so she noticed that the old man's left boot was flapping open, and that there were two buttons off his coat. Her mind was swiftly calculating: “It is more than seven weeks to quarter day. Of course I can't afford it, but I must just give him a sovereign.”

Frances Freeland reached into that deep pocket again and noticed that the old man's left boot was flapping open and that two buttons were missing from his coat. She quickly thought, “It's more than seven weeks until quarter day. I really can't afford it, but I have to give him a sovereign.”

She withdrew her hand from the recesses of her pocket and looked at the old man's nose. It was finely chiselled, and the same yellow as his face. “It looks nice, and quite sober,” she thought. In her hand was her purse and a boot-lace. She took out a sovereign.

She pulled her hand out of her pocket and looked at the old man's nose. It was well-defined and the same yellow as his face. “It looks nice and pretty serious,” she thought. In her hand were her purse and a boot-lace. She took out a coin.

“Now, if I give you this,” she said, “you must promise me not to spend any of it in the public-house. And this is for your boot. And you must go back by train. And get those buttons sewn on your coat. And tell cook, from me, please, to give you some tea and an egg.” And noticing that he took the sovereign and the boot-lace very respectfully, and seemed altogether very respectable, and not at all coarse or beery-looking, she said:

“Now, if I give you this,” she said, “you have to promise me not to spend any of it at the bar. This is for your boot. And you need to take the train back. And make sure to get those buttons sewn onto your coat. And please tell the cook, from me, to give you some tea and an egg.” And noticing that he accepted the pound and the boot lace with great respect, and appeared quite decent, not at all rough or drunk-looking, she said:

“Good-by; don't forget to rub what I gave you into your leg every night and every morning,” and went back to her camp-stool. Sitting down on it with the scissors in her hand, she still did not cut out that recipe, but remained as before, taking in small, definite things, and feeling with an inner trembling that dear Felix and Alan and Nedda would soon be here; and the little flush rose again in her cheeks, and again her lips and hands moved, expressing and compressing what was in her heart. And close behind her, a peacock, straying from the foundations of the old Moreton house, uttered a cry, and moved slowly, spreading its tail under the low-hanging boughs of the copper-beeches, as though it knew those dark burnished leaves were the proper setting for its 'parlant' magnificence.

“Goodbye; don’t forget to rub what I gave you into your leg every night and every morning,” she said as she returned to her camp-stool. Sitting down with the scissors in her hand, she still didn’t cut out that recipe but stayed as she was, taking in small, clear details and feeling a flutter inside that dear Felix, Alan, and Nedda would be here soon. A little flush appeared on her cheeks again, and once more her lips and hands moved, expressing and holding back what was in her heart. Right behind her, a peacock, wandering from the old Moreton house, let out a cry and slowly moved, spreading its tail under the low-hanging branches of the copper beeches, as if it knew those dark, shiny leaves were the perfect backdrop for its vibrant beauty.





CHAPTER V

The day after the little conference at John's, Felix had indeed received the following note:

The day after the small gathering at John's, Felix had actually received the following note:

“DEAR FELIX:

"Hey Felix:"

“When you go down to see old Tod, why not put up with us at Becket? Any time will suit, and the car can take you over to Joyfields when you like. Give the pen a rest. Clara joins in hoping you'll come, and Mother is still here. No use, I suppose, to ask Flora.

“When you go to see old Tod, why not stay with us at Becket? Anytime works, and the car can take you over to Joyfields whenever you want. Put the pen down for a bit. Clara is also hoping you'll come, and Mother is still here. I guess there's no point in asking Flora.”

“Yours ever,

“Always yours,

“STANLEY.”

“STANLEY.”

During the twenty years of his brother's sojourn there Felix had been down to Becket perhaps once a year, and latterly alone; for Flora, having accompanied him the first few times, had taken a firm stand.

During the twenty years his brother spent there, Felix had gone down to Becket maybe once a year, and more recently, he went alone; Flora, who had joined him the first few times, had made a firm decision not to go anymore.

“My dear,” she said, “I feel all body there.”

“My dear,” she said, “I can feel everything there.”

Felix had rejoined:

Felix has rejoined:

“No bad thing, once in a way.”

“No harm in it, every now and then.”

But Flora had remained firm. Life was too short! She did not get on well with Clara. Neither did Felix feel too happy in his sister-in-law's presence; but the gray top-hat instinct had kept him going there, for one ought to keep in touch with one's brothers.

But Flora had stayed resolute. Life was too short! She didn't get along with Clara. Felix also didn't feel very comfortable around his sister-in-law, but the instinct to wear his gray top hat had kept him going there, since it's important to stay connected with your brothers.

He replied to Stanley:

He responded to Stanley:

“DEAR STANLEY:

"Hey Stanley:"

“Delighted; if I may bring my two youngsters. We'll arrive to-morrow at four-fifty.

“Great! If I can bring my two kids. We'll get there tomorrow at 4:50.”

“Yours affectionately,

"Yours truly,"

“FELIX.”

“Felix.”

Travelling with Nedda was always jolly; one could watch her eyes noting, inquiring, and when occasion served, have one's little finger hooked in and squeezed. Travelling with Alan was convenient, the young man having a way with railways which Felix himself had long despaired of acquiring. Neither of the children had ever been at Becket, and though Alan was seldom curious, and Nedda too curious about everything to be specially so about this, yet Felix experienced in their company the sensations of a new adventure.

Traveling with Nedda was always fun; you could see her eyes observing, questioning, and when the moment was right, you could hook your little finger in hers and squeeze. Traveling with Alan was practical, as the young man had a knack for navigating railways that Felix himself had long given up trying to learn. Neither of the kids had ever been to Becket, and even though Alan was rarely curious, and Nedda was so curious about everything that she wasn't particularly interested in this, Felix still felt the thrill of a new adventure in their company.

Arrived at Transham, that little town upon a hill which the Morton Plough Works had created, they were soon in Stanley's car, whirling into the sleepy peace of a Worcestershire afternoon. Would this young bird nestling up against him echo Flora's verdict: 'I feel all body there!' or would she take to its fatted luxury as a duck to water? And he said: “By the way, your aunt's 'Bigwigs' set in on a Saturday. Are you for staying and seeing the lions feed, or do we cut back?”

Arriving in Transham, that small town on a hill built by the Morton Plough Works, they quickly jumped into Stanley's car, speeding into the quiet calm of a Worcestershire afternoon. Would this young woman snuggled up to him share Flora's opinion: "I feel completely at home here!" or would she adapt to its comfortable luxury like a duck to water? He asked, "By the way, your aunt's 'Bigwigs' set happens on Saturday. Do you want to stay and watch the lions being fed, or should we head back?"

From Alan he got the answer he expected:

From Alan, he received the answer he anticipated:

“If there's golf or something, I suppose we can make out all right.” From Nedda: “What sort of Bigwigs are they, Dad?”

“If there’s golf or something, I guess we can manage okay.” From Nedda: “What kind of big shots are they, Dad?”

“A sort you've never seen, my dear.”

“A kind you've never seen, my dear.”

“Then I should like to stay. Only, about dresses?”

“Then I'd like to stay. But what about the dresses?”

“What war paint have you?”

"What makeup are you wearing?"

“Only two white evenings. And Mums gave me her Mechlin.”

“Just two white evenings. And Mom gave me her Mechlin.”

“'Twill serve.”

"It'll do."

To Felix, Nedda in white 'evenings' was starry and all that man could desire.

To Felix, Nedda in white "evenings" was like a starry vision and everything a man could want.

“Only, Dad, do tell me about them, beforehand.”

“Just tell me about them ahead of time, Dad.”

“My dear, I will. And God be with you. This is where Becket begins.”

"My dear, I will. And may God be with you. This is where Becket starts."

The car had swerved into a long drive between trees not yet full-grown, but decorously trying to look more than their twenty years. To the right, about a group of older elms, rooks were in commotion, for Stanley's three keepers' wives had just baked their annual rook pies, and the birds were not yet happy again. Those elms had stood there when the old Moretons walked past them through corn-fields to church of a Sunday. Away on the left above the lake, the little walled mound had come in view. Something in Felix always stirred at sight of it, and, squeezing Nedda's arm, he said:

The car swerved into a long driveway lined with trees that weren't fully grown yet but were trying to look older than their twenty years. To the right, around a group of older elms, rooks were making a fuss because Stanley's three keepers' wives had just baked their annual rook pies, and the birds weren't happy yet. Those elms had been there when the old Moretons walked by them through the cornfields to church on Sundays. Off to the left, above the lake, the little walled mound came into view. Something in Felix always stirred when he saw it, and, squeezing Nedda's arm, he said:

“See that silly wall? Behind there Granny's ancients lived. Gone now—new house—new lake—new trees—new everything.”

“Check out that silly wall? Behind it, Granny's ancestors lived. They're gone now—new house—new lake—new trees—new everything.”

But he saw from his little daughter's calm eyes that the sentiment in him was not in her.

But he could tell from his little daughter's calm eyes that she didn't share his feelings.

“I like the lake,” she said. “There's Granny—oh, and a peacock!”

“I like the lake,” she said. “There's Grandma—oh, and a peacock!”

His mother's embrace, with its frail energy, and the pressure of her soft, dry lips, filled Felix always with remorse. Why could he not give the simple and direct expression to his feeling that she gave to hers? He watched those lips transferred to Nedda, heard her say: “Oh, my darling, how lovely to see you! Do you know this for midge-bites?” A hand, diving deep into a pocket, returned with a little silver-coated stick having a bluish end. Felix saw it rise and hover about Nedda's forehead, and descend with two little swift dabs. “It takes them away at once.”

His mother's embrace, with its delicate energy, and the touch of her soft, dry lips, always filled Felix with guilt. Why couldn't he express his feelings as simply and directly as she did? He watched those lips move to Nedda and heard her say, “Oh, my darling, how lovely to see you! Do you know this is for midge bites?” A hand, reaching deep into a pocket, came out with a small silver-coated stick with a bluish tip. Felix saw it rise and hover above Nedda's forehead, then come down with two quick dabs. “It gets rid of them right away.”

“Oh, but Granny, they're not midge-bites; they're only from my hat!”

“Oh, but Granny, they're not bug bites; they're just from my hat!”

“It doesn't matter, darling; it takes away anything like that.”

“It doesn't matter, babe; it removes anything like that.”

And he thought: 'Mother is really wonderful!'

And he thought, "Mom is really amazing!"

At the house the car had already disgorged their luggage. Only one man, but he absolutely the butler, awaited them, and they entered, at once conscious of Clara's special pot-pourri. Its fragrance steamed from blue china, in every nook and crevice, a sort of baptism into luxury. Clara herself, in the outer morning-room, smelled a little of it. Quick and dark of eye, capable, comely, perfectly buttoned, one of those women who know exactly how not to be superior to the general taste of the period. In addition to that great quality she was endowed with a fine nose, an instinct for co-ordination not to be excelled, and a genuine love of making people comfortable; so that it was no wonder that she had risen in the ranks of hostesses, till her house was celebrated for its ease, even among those who at their week-ends liked to feel 'all body.' In regard to that characteristic of Becket, not even Felix in his ironies had ever stood up to Clara; the matter was too delicate. Frances Freeland, indeed—not because she had any philosophic preconceptions on the matter, but because it was 'not nice, dear, to be wasteful' even if it were only of rose-leaves, or to 'have too much decoration,' such as Japanese prints in places where they hum—sometimes told her daughter-in-law frankly what was wrong, without, however, making the faintest impression upon Clara, for she was not sensitive, and, as she said to Stanley, it was 'only Mother.'

At the house, the car had already dropped off their luggage. Only one man, who was definitely the butler, was waiting for them as they entered, immediately aware of Clara's distinctive potpourri. Its scent wafted from blue china in every corner, serving as a kind of initiation into luxury. Clara herself, in the outer morning room, had a hint of the fragrance. Quick and dark-eyed, capable and attractive, she was perfectly put together—one of those women who knew exactly how to align with the general tastes of the time. Along with that impressive quality, she had a keen sense of style, an unmatched instinct for coordination, and a sincere desire to make people feel at ease; it was no surprise that she had moved up the ranks of hostesses until her home was famous for its comfort, even among those who liked to feel fancy during their weekends. When it came to Becket's traits, not even Felix's sarcastic remarks could challenge Clara; the topic was too sensitive. Frances Freeland, for her part—not because she had deep philosophical beliefs on the issue, but because she thought it was "not nice, dear, to be wasteful," even if it was just rose leaves, or to have "too much decoration," like Japanese prints in places where they didn't belong—sometimes bluntly pointed out to her daughter-in-law what was off, but it never really affected Clara at all, since she wasn't sensitive, and as she told Stanley, it was "only Mother."

When they had drunk that special Chinese tea, all the rage, but which no one really liked, in the inner morning, or afternoon room—for the drawing-rooms were too large to be comfortable except at week-ends—they went to see the children, a special blend of Stanley and Clara, save the little Francis, who did not seem to be entirely body. Then Clara took them to their rooms. She lingered kindly in Nedda's, feeling that the girl could not yet feel quite at home, and looking in the soap-dish lest she might not have the right verbena, and about the dressing-table to see that she had pins and scent, and plenty of 'pot-pourri,' and thinking: 'The child is pretty—a nice girl, not like her mother.' Explaining carefully how, because of the approaching week-end, she had been obliged to put her in 'a very simple room' where she would be compelled to cross the corridor to her bath, she asked her if she had a quilted dressing-gown, and finding that she had not, left her saying she would send one—and could she do her frocks up, or should Sirrett come?

When they had drunk that trendy Chinese tea, which everyone was excited about but no one really enjoyed, in the cozy morning or afternoon room—since the drawing-rooms were too big to feel comfortable except on weekends—they went to see the kids, a unique mix of Stanley and Clara, except for little Francis, who didn’t seem to be fully present. Then Clara took them to their rooms. She stayed a bit longer in Nedda's, sensing that the girl still didn’t feel completely at home, checking the soap dish to make sure she had the right verbena and looking at the dressing table to ensure there were pins, perfume, and plenty of potpourri, thinking: 'The kid is charming—a nice girl, unlike her mother.' She explained carefully that, since the weekend was coming up, she had to put her in a 'very simple room' where she would have to go across the hallway to her bathroom, and asked if she had a quilted robe. Finding out she didn’t, she told her she would send one—and asked if she wanted her dresses done or if Sirrett should come.

Abandoned, the girl stood in the middle of the room, so far more 'simple' than she had ever slept in, with its warm fragrance of rose-leaves and verbena, its Aubusson carpet, white silk-quilted bed, sofa, cushioned window-seat, dainty curtains, and little nickel box of biscuits on little spindly table. There she stood and sniffed, stretched herself, and thought: 'It's jolly—only, it smells too much!' and she went up to the pictures, one by one. They seemed to go splendidly with the room, and suddenly she felt homesick. Ridiculous, of course! Yet, if she had known where her father's room was, she would have run out to it; but her memory was too tangled up with stairs and corridors—to find her way down to the hall again was all she could have done.

Abandoned, the girl stood in the middle of the room, much more 'simple' than any place she had ever slept in, filled with the warm scent of rose leaves and verbena, featuring its Aubusson carpet, white silk quilted bed, sofa, cushioned window seat, delicate curtains, and a little nickel box of biscuits on a tiny spindly table. She stood there, sniffing, stretching, and thinking: 'It's nice—just, it smells too strong!' Then she walked up to the pictures, one by one. They seemed to fit perfectly with the room, and suddenly she felt homesick. Ridiculous, of course! Yet if she had known where her father's room was, she would have rushed out to it; but her memory was too tangled up with stairs and corridors—finding her way back to the hall was all she could manage.

A maid came in now with a blue silk gown very thick and soft. Could she do anything for Miss Freeland? No, thanks, she could not; only, did she know where Mr. Freeland's room was?

A maid came in now with a thick, soft blue silk gown. Could she do anything for Miss Freeland? No, thanks, she couldn’t; just wondering, did she know where Mr. Freeland's room was?

“Which Mr. Freeland, miss, the young or the old?”

“Which Mr. Freeland, miss, the young one or the old one?”

“Oh, the old!” Having said which, Nedda felt unhappy; her Dad was not old! “No, miss; but I'll find out. It'll be in the walnut wing!” But with a little flutter at the thought of thus setting people to run about wings, Nedda murmured: “Oh! thanks, no; it doesn't matter.”

“Oh, the old!” After saying this, Nedda felt unhappy; her dad wasn’t old! “No, miss; but I’ll find out. It’ll be in the walnut wing!” But with a slight flutter at the thought of making people run around in the wings, Nedda murmured: “Oh! Thanks, no; it doesn’t matter.”

She settled down now on the cushion of the window-seat, to look out and take it all in, right away to that line of hills gone blue in the haze of the warm evening. That would be Malvern; and there, farther to the south, the 'Tods' lived. 'Joyfields!' A pretty name! And it was lovely country all round; green and peaceful, with its white, timbered houses and cottages. People must be very happy, living here—happy and quiet like the stars and the birds; not like the crowds in London thronging streets and shops and Hampstead Heath; not like the people in all those disgruntled suburbs that led out for miles where London ought to have stopped but had not; not like the thousands and thousands of those poor creatures in Bethnal Green, where her slum work lay. The natives here must surely be happy. Only, were there any natives? She had not seen any. Away to the right below her window were the first trees of the fruit garden; for many of them Spring was over, but the apple-trees had just come into blossom, and the low sun shining through a gap in some far elms was slanting on their creamy pink, christening them—Nedda thought—with drops of light; and lovely the blackbirds' singing sounded in the perfect hush! How wonderful to be a bird, going where you would, and from high up in the air seeing everything; flying down a sunbeam, drinking a raindrop, sitting on the very top of a tall tree, running in grass so high that you were hidden, laying little perfect blue-green eggs, or pure-gray speckly ones; never changing your dress, yet always beautiful. Surely the spirit of the world was in the birds and the clouds, roaming, floating, and in the flowers and trees that never smelled anything but sweet, never looked anything but lovely, and were never restless. Why was one restless, wanting things that did not come—wanting to feel and know, wanting to love, and be loved? And at that thought which had come to her so unexpectedly—a thought never before shaped so definitely—Nedda planted her arms on the window-sill, with sleeves fallen down, and let her hands meet cup-shaped beneath her chin. Love! To have somebody with whom she could share everything—some one to whom and for whom she could give up—some one she could protect and comfort—some one who would bring her peace. Peace, rest—from what? Ah! that she could not make clear, even to herself. Love! What would love be like? Her father loved her, and she loved him. She loved her mother; and Alan on the whole was jolly to her—it was not that. What was it—where was it—when would it come and wake her, and kiss her to sleep, all in one? Come and fill her as with the warmth and color, the freshness, light, and shadow of this beautiful May evening, flood her as with the singing of those birds, and the warm light sunning the apple blossoms. And she sighed. Then—as with all young things whose attention after all is but as the hovering of a butterfly—her speculation was attracted to a thin, high-shouldered figure limping on a stick, away from the house, down one of the paths among the apple-trees. He wavered, not knowing, it seemed, his way. And Nedda thought: 'Poor old man, how lame he is!' She saw him stoop, screened, as he evidently thought, from sight, and take something very small from his pocket. He gazed, rubbed it, put it back; what it was she could not see. Then pressing his hand down, he smoothed and stretched his leg. His eyes seemed closed. So a stone man might have stood! Till very slowly he limped on, passing out of sight. And turning from the window, Nedda began hurrying into her evening things.

She settled down now on the cushion of the window seat, looking out to take it all in, all the way to that line of hills fading into the haze of the warm evening. That must be Malvern; and there, farther south, lived the 'Tods.' "Joyfields!" A pretty name! And it was beautiful countryside all around; green and peaceful, with its white timbered houses and cottages. People must be very happy living here—happy and quiet like the stars and the birds; not like the crowds in London bustling through streets and shops and Hampstead Heath; not like the folks in those unhappy suburbs that stretched for miles where London should have ended but hadn't; not like the thousands of those poor souls in Bethnal Green, where her slum work was. The locals here must surely be happy. But were there any locals? She hadn’t seen any. Off to the right below her window were the first trees of the fruit garden; for many of them Spring was over, but the apple trees had just come into bloom, and the low sun shining through a gap in distant elms was casting slants of light on their creamy pink, which Nedda thought of as a blessing; and the singing of the blackbirds sounded lovely in the perfect silence! How wonderful it would be to be a bird, going wherever you wanted, seeing everything from high in the air; flying down a sunbeam, sipping a raindrop, sitting on the very top of a tall tree, running in grass so high you'd be hidden, laying little perfect blue-green eggs or pure-gray speckled ones; never changing your appearance, yet always beautiful. Surely the spirit of the world was in the birds and the clouds, roaming, floating, and in the flowers and trees that always smelled sweet, always looked beautiful, and were never restless. Why was one restless, wanting things that didn’t come—wanting to feel and know, wanting to love and be loved? And at that thought, which had come to her so unexpectedly—a thought she'd never defined so clearly—Nedda rested her arms on the window sill, sleeves falling down, and let her hands meet cup-shaped beneath her chin. Love! To have someone with whom she could share everything—someone to whom and for whom she could sacrifice—someone she could protect and comfort—someone who would give her peace. Peace, rest—from what? Ah! That she couldn't clarify, even for herself. Love! What would love be like? Her father loved her, and she loved him. She loved her mother; and for the most part, Alan was nice to her—it wasn't that. What was it—where was it—when would it come and wake her, and kiss her to sleep, all in one? Come and fill her with the warmth and color, the freshness, light, and shadow of this beautiful May evening, flooding her just like the singing of those birds, and the warm light shining on the apple blossoms. And she sighed. Then—like all young beings whose attention is as fleeting as a butterfly—her curiosity was caught by a thin, high-shouldered figure limping along with a stick, away from the house, down one of the paths among the apple trees. He wavered, not really knowing, it seemed, where he was going. And Nedda thought: "Poor old man, how lame he is!" She watched him bend down, as if he thought he was hidden from sight, and take something very small from his pocket. He looked at it, rubbed it, then put it back; she couldn’t see what it was. Then pressing his hand down, he smoothed and stretched his leg. His eyes seemed closed. He might as well have been a stone statue! Until very slowly he limped on, disappearing from view. Turning away from the window, Nedda hurried to change into her evening clothes.

When she was ready she took a long time to decide whether to wear her mother's lace or keep it for the Bigwigs. But it was so nice and creamy that she simply could not take it off, and stood turning and turning before the glass. To stand before a glass was silly and old-fashioned; but Nedda could never help it, wanting so badly to be nicer to look at than she was, because of that something that some day was coming!

When she was ready, she took a long time to decide whether to wear her mother's lace or save it for the Bigwigs. But it was so beautiful and soft that she just couldn’t take it off, spinning around in front of the mirror. Standing in front of a mirror felt silly and outdated, but Nedda couldn’t help it; she really wanted to look better than she did, especially with that something special that was coming someday!

She was, in fact, pretty, but not merely pretty—there was in her face something alive and sweet, something clear and swift. She had still that way of a child raising its eyes very quickly and looking straight at you with an eager innocence that hides everything by its very wonder; and when those eyes looked down they seemed closed—their dark lashes were so long. Her eyebrows were wide apart, arching with a slight angle, and slanting a little down toward her nose. Her forehead under its burnt-brown hair was candid; her firm little chin just dimpled. Altogether, a face difficult to take one's eyes off. But Nedda was far from vain, and her face seemed to her too short and broad, her eyes too dark and indeterminate, neither gray nor brown. The straightness of her nose was certainly comforting, but it, too, was short. Being creamy in the throat and browning easily, she would have liked to be marble-white, with blue dreamy eyes and fair hair, or else like a Madonna. And was she tall enough? Only five foot five. And her arms were too thin. The only things that gave her perfect satisfaction were her legs, which, of course, she could not at the moment see; they really WERE rather jolly! Then, in a panic, fearing to be late, she turned and ran out, fluttering into the maze of stairs and corridors.

She was, in fact, pretty, but not just pretty—there was something alive and sweet in her face, something clear and swift. She still had that childish way of quickly raising her eyes and looking straight at you with an eager innocence that hides everything in its wonder; and when those eyes looked down, they seemed closed—their dark lashes were so long. Her eyebrows were wide apart, arched at a slight angle, and slanted a bit down toward her nose. Her forehead, framed by its burnt-brown hair, was open and honest; her firm little chin had just a dimple. All in all, her face was hard to look away from. But Nedda was far from vain, and she thought her face was too short and broad, her eyes too dark and vague, neither gray nor brown. The straightness of her nose was definitely comforting, but it was also short. Being creamy in her throat and tanning easily, she wished she could be marble-white, with dreamy blue eyes and fair hair, or maybe like a Madonna. And was she tall enough? Only five foot five. And her arms were too thin. The only thing she felt completely satisfied with were her legs, which, of course, she couldn’t see at the moment; they really WERE quite nice! Then, in a panic, fearing she would be late, she turned and ran out, hurrying into the maze of stairs and corridors.





CHAPTER VI

Clara, Mrs. Stanley Freeland, was not a narrow woman either in mind or body; and years ago, soon indeed after she married Stanley, she had declared her intention of taking up her sister-in-law, Kirsteen, in spite of what she had heard were the woman's extraordinary notions. Those were the days of carriages, pairs, coachmen, grooms, and, with her usual promptitude, ordering out the lot, she had set forth. It is safe to say she had never forgotten that experience.

Clara, Mrs. Stanley Freeland, was not a narrow-minded woman in any sense; and years ago, shortly after she married Stanley, she declared her intention to support her sister-in-law, Kirsteen, despite what she had heard about her unconventional ideas. Back then, life was about carriages, pairs, coachmen, and grooms, and with her usual decisiveness, she organized everything and set off. It's safe to say she never forgot that experience.

Imagine an old, white, timbered cottage with a thatched roof, and no single line about it quite straight. A cottage crazy with age, buried up to the thatch in sweetbrier, creepers, honeysuckle, and perched high above crossroads. A cottage almost unapproachable for beehives and their bees—an insect for which Clara had an aversion. Imagine on the rough, pebbled approach to the door of this cottage (and Clara had on thin shoes) a peculiar cradle with a dark-eyed baby that was staring placidly at two bees sleeping on a coverlet made of a rough linen such as Clara had never before seen. Imagine an absolutely naked little girl of three, sitting in a tub of sunlight in the very doorway. Clara had turned swiftly and closed the wicket gate between the pebbled pathway and the mossed steps that led down to where her coachman and her footman were sitting very still, as was the habit of those people. She had perceived at once that she was making no common call. Then, with real courage she had advanced, and, looking down at the little girl with a fearful smile, had tickled the door with the handle of her green parasol. A woman younger than herself, a girl, indeed, appeared in a low doorway. She had often told Stanley since that she would never forget her first sight (she had not yet had another) of Tod's wife. A brown face and black hair, fiery gray eyes, eyes all light, under black lashes, and “such a strange smile;” bare, brown, shapely arms and neck in a shirt of the same rough, creamy linen, and, from under a bright blue skirt, bare, brown, shapely ankles and feet! A voice so soft and deadly that, as Clara said: “What with her eyes, it really gave me the shivers. And, my dear,” she had pursued, “white-washed walls, bare brick floors, not a picture, not a curtain, not even a fire-iron. Clean—oh, horribly! They must be the most awful cranks. The only thing I must say that was nice was the smell. Sweetbrier, and honey, coffee, and baked apples—really delicious. I must try what I can do with it. But that woman—girl, I suppose she is—stumped me. I'm sure she'd have cut my head off if I'd attempted to open my mouth on ordinary topics. The children were rather ducks; but imagine leaving them about like that amongst the bees. 'Kirsteen!' She looked it. Never again! And Tod I didn't see at all; I suppose he was mooning about amongst his creatures.”

Imagine an old white cottage with a thatched roof, where not a single line is perfectly straight. A cottage that's seen better days, overgrown with sweetbriar, vines, honeysuckle, and sitting high above a crossroads. A cottage almost unreachable because of the beehives and their bees—an insect that Clara disliked. Picture a rough, pebbled path leading to the door of this cottage (and Clara was wearing thin shoes) with a strange cradle that held a dark-eyed baby, calmly watching two bees sleeping on a coarse linen blanket that Clara had never seen before. Imagine a completely naked three-year-old girl sitting in a pool of sunlight right in the doorway. Clara quickly turned and closed the small gate between the pebbled path and the mossy steps leading down to where her coachman and footman sat very still, just as they usually did. She realized right away that she wasn’t making a typical visit. Then, with genuine bravery, she stepped forward, looking down at the little girl with a nervous smile and poked the door with the handle of her green parasol. A woman younger than her, really a girl, appeared from a low doorway. She later told Stanley that she would never forget her first sight (it was her only one at that time) of Tod's wife. A brown face and black hair, fiery gray eyes, eyes full of light, under dark lashes, with “such a strange smile;” bare, brown, well-shaped arms and neck in a shirt made of the same coarse, creamy linen, and, from under a bright blue skirt, bare, brown, shapely ankles and feet! Her voice was soft and haunting, as Clara remarked: “With those eyes, it really gave me the chills. And, darling,” she continued, “whitewashed walls, bare brick floors, not a single picture, no curtains, not even a fire poker. Clean—oh, in a frightening way! They must be the most awful eccentrics. The only thing I would say was nice was the smell. Sweetbriar, honey, coffee, and baked apples—absolutely delicious. I’ll have to see what I can do with that. But that woman—girl, I guess—totally baffled me. I'm sure she would have freaked out if I’d tried to talk about ordinary things. The kids were a bit odd; but can you believe leaving them like that around the bees? ‘Kirsteen!’ She certainly looked the part. Never again! And I didn’t see Tod at all; I assume he was wandering around with his creatures.”

It was the memory of this visit, now seventeen years ago, that had made her smile so indulgently when Stanley came back from the conference. She had said at once that they must have Felix to stay, and for her part she would be only too glad to do anything she could for those poor children of Tod's, even to asking them to Becket, and trying to civilize them a little.... “But as for that woman, there'll be nothing to be done with her, I can assure you. And I expect Tod is completely under her thumb.”

It was the memory of that visit, now seventeen years ago, that made her smile so indulgently when Stanley returned from the conference. She immediately said they had to invite Felix to stay, and she was more than happy to do whatever she could for those poor kids of Tod’s, even inviting them to Becket and trying to civilize them a bit.... “But as for that woman, there’s no hope for her, I can tell you. And I bet Tod is totally under her control.”

To Felix, who took her in to dinner, she spoke feelingly and in a low voice. She liked Felix, in spite of his wife, and respected him—he had a name. Lady Malloring—she told him—the Mallorings owned, of course, everything round Joyfields—had been telling her that of late Tod's wife had really become quite rabid over the land question. 'The Tods' were hand in glove with all the cottagers. She, Clara, had nothing to say against any one who sympathized with the condition of the agricultural laborer; quite the contrary. Becket was almost, as Felix knew—though perhaps it wasn't for her to say so—the centre of that movement; but there were ways of doing things, and one did so deprecate women like this Kirsteen—what an impossibly Celtic name!—putting her finger into any pie that really was of national importance. Nothing could come of anything done that sort of way. If Felix had any influence with Tod it would be a mercy to use it in getting those poor young creatures away from home, to mix a little with people who took a sane view of things. She would like very much to get them over to Becket, but with their notions it was doubtful whether they had evening clothes! She had, of course, never forgotten that naked mite in the tub of sunlight, nor the poor baby with its bees and its rough linen. Felix replied deferentially—he was invariably polite, and only just ironic enough, in the houses of others—that he had the very greatest respect for Tod, and that there could be nothing very wrong with the woman to whom Tod was so devoted. As for the children, his own young people would get at them and learn all about what was going on in a way that no fogey like himself could. In regard to the land question, there were, of course, many sides to that, and he, for one, would not be at all sorry to observe yet another. After all, the Tods were in real contact with the laborers, and that was the great thing. It would be very interesting.

To Felix, who invited her to dinner, she spoke passionately and softly. She liked Felix, despite his wife, and respected him—he had a reputation. Lady Malloring—she mentioned—said that the Mallorings owned everything around Joyfields and that lately Tod’s wife had really become quite intense about the land issue. The Tods were closely allied with all the cottagers. She, Clara, had nothing against anyone who sympathized with the plight of agricultural workers; quite the opposite. Becket was almost, as Felix knew—though perhaps it wasn't her place to say—that movement's hub; but there were better ways to approach things, and one really did frown upon women like this Kirsteen—what an impossibly Celtic name!—getting involved in issues of such national importance. Nothing productive came from actions taken in that manner. If Felix had any influence with Tod, it would be a blessing to use it to help those poor young people get away from home, to interact with people who had a more rational perspective. She would love to bring them over to Becket, but with their beliefs, it was uncertain whether they even had evening clothes! She had, of course, never forgotten that tiny naked child in the bright sunlight, nor the poor baby with its bees and rough linen. Felix replied respectfully—he was always polite and only slightly ironic when in the company of others—that he had the utmost respect for Tod and that there couldn’t be anything too wrong with the woman Tod was so devoted to. As for the kids, his own children would engage with them and learn everything that was happening in a way that someone old-fashioned like him couldn’t. Regarding the land issue, there were, of course, many angles to consider, and he, for one, wouldn’t mind seeing another perspective. After all, the Tods were genuinely connected with the laborers, and that was the most important thing. It would be very interesting.

Yes, Clara quite saw all that, but—and here she sank her voice so that there was hardly any left—as Felix was going over there, she really must put him au courant with the heart of this matter. Lady Malloring had told her the whole story. It appeared there were two cases: A family called Gaunt, an old man, and his son, who had two daughters—one of them, Alice, quite a nice girl, was kitchen-maid here at Becket, but the other sister—Wilmet—well! she was one of those girls that, as Felix must know, were always to be found in every village. She was leading the young men astray, and Lady Malloring had put her foot down, telling her bailiff to tell the farmer for whom Gaunt worked that he and his family must go, unless they sent the girl away somewhere. That was one case. And the other was of a laborer called Tryst, who wanted to marry his deceased wife's sister. Of course, whether Mildred Malloring was not rather too churchy and puritanical—now that a deceased wife's sister was legal—Clara did not want to say; but she was undoubtedly within her rights if she thought it for the good of the village. This man, Tryst, was a good workman, and his farmer had objected to losing him, but Lady Malloring had, of course, not given way, and if he persisted he would get put out. All the cottages about there were Sir Gerald Malloring's, so that in both cases it would mean leaving the neighborhood. In regard to village morality, as Felix knew, the line must be drawn somewhere.

Yes, Clara saw all that, but—and here she lowered her voice to almost a whisper—as Felix was going over there, she really needed to update him on the heart of the matter. Lady Malloring had told her the whole story. It seemed there were two situations: A family named Gaunt, with an old man and his son, who had two daughters—one of them, Alice, a nice girl, was a kitchen maid here at Becket, but the other sister—Wilmet—well! she was one of those girls who, as Felix must know, can be found in every village. She was leading the young men astray, and Lady Malloring had put her foot down, telling her bailiff to inform the farmer for whom Gaunt worked that he and his family must leave unless they sent the girl away somewhere. That was one case. The other involved a laborer named Tryst, who wanted to marry his deceased wife's sister. Of course, whether Mildred Malloring was being a bit too churchy and puritanical—now that marrying a deceased wife's sister was legal—Clara didn't want to comment on; but Lady Malloring was certainly within her rights if she believed it was for the good of the village. This man, Tryst, was a good worker, and his farmer didn't want to lose him, but Lady Malloring had, of course, stood firm, and if he persisted, he would be kicked out. All the cottages in that area belonged to Sir Gerald Malloring, so in both cases, it would mean leaving the neighborhood. Regarding village morality, as Felix knew, a line had to be drawn somewhere.

Felix interrupted quietly:

Felix quietly interrupted:

“I draw it at Lady Malloring.”

“I’m at Lady Malloring’s house.”

“Well, I won't argue that with you. But it really is a scandal that Tod's wife should incite her young people to stir up the villagers. Goodness knows where that mayn't lead! Tod's cottage and land, you see, are freehold, the only freehold thereabouts; and his being a brother of Stanley's makes it particularly awkward for the Mallorings.”

“Well, I won't debate that with you. But it's truly a scandal that Tod's wife is encouraging her kids to rile up the villagers. Who knows where that could lead? Tod's cottage and land are freehold, the only freehold around; and since he's Stanley's brother, it makes things especially tricky for the Mallorings.”

“Quite so!” murmured Felix.

"Absolutely!" murmured Felix.

“Yes, but my dear Felix, when it comes to infecting those simple people with inflated ideas of their rights, it's serious, especially in the country. I'm told there's really quite a violent feeling. I hear from Alice Gaunt that the young Tods have been going about saying that dogs are better off than people treated in this fashion, which, of course, is all nonsense, and making far too much of a small matter. Don't you think so?”

“Yes, but my dear Felix, when it comes to influencing those simple folks with exaggerated ideas about their rights, it’s a serious issue, especially in the countryside. I’ve heard there's actually quite a strong sentiment about it. Alice Gaunt told me that the young Tods have been saying that dogs are better off than people being treated this way, which is, of course, absurd, and they’re making way too big of a deal out of a minor issue. Don’t you think so?”

But Felix only smiled his peculiar, sweetish smile, and answered:

But Felix just smiled his unique, sweet smile and replied:

“I'm glad to have come down just now.”

“I'm glad I came down just now.”

Clara, who did not know that when Felix smiled like that he was angry, agreed.

Clara, who didn’t realize that when Felix smiled like that he was actually angry, agreed.

“Yes,” she said; “you're an observer. You will see the thing in right perspective.”

“Yes,” she said, “you’re an observer. You’ll see things in the right perspective.”

“I shall endeavor to. What does Tod say?”

“I'll try to. What does Tod say?”

“Oh! Tod never seems to say anything. At least, I never hear of it.”

“Oh! Tod never really says anything. At least, I never hear about it.”

Felix murmured:

Felix whispered:

“Tod is a well in the desert.”

“Tod is a well in the desert.”

To which deep saying Clara made no reply, not indeed understanding in the least what it might signify.

To which deep statement Clara didn’t respond, not really understanding at all what it might mean.

That evening, when Alan, having had his fill of billiards, had left the smoking-room and gone to bed, Felix remarked to Stanley:

That evening, after Alan had enjoyed a game of billiards and left the smoking room to go to bed, Felix said to Stanley:

“I say, what sort of people are these Mallorings?”

“I wonder, what kind of people are these Mallorings?”

Stanley, who was settling himself for the twenty minutes of whiskey, potash, and a Review, with which he commonly composed his mind before retiring, answered negligently:

Stanley, who was getting ready for his usual twenty minutes of whiskey, potash, and a review to help him unwind before bed, replied casually:

“The Mallorings? Oh! about the best type of landowner we've got.”

“The Mallorings? Oh! they’re probably the best kind of landowner we have.”

“What exactly do you mean by that?”

“What do you mean by that?”

Stanley took his time to answer, for below his bluff good-nature he had the tenacious, if somewhat slow, precision of an English man of business, mingled with a certain mistrust of 'old Felix.'

Stanley took his time to answer, because underneath his tough exterior, he had the stubborn, albeit somewhat slow, precision of an English businessman, mixed with a bit of mistrust toward 'old Felix.'

“Well,” he said at last, “they build good cottages, yellow brick, d—d ugly, I must say; look after the character of their tenants; give 'em rebate of rent if there's a bad harvest; encourage stock-breedin', and machinery—they've got some of my ploughs, but the people don't like 'em, and, as a matter of fact, they're right—they're not made for these small fields; set an example goin' to church; patronize the Rifle Range; buy up the pubs when they can, and run 'em themselves; send out jelly, and let people over their place on bank holidays. Dash it all, I don't know what they don't do. Why?”

"Well," he finally said, "they build nice cottages, yellow brick, really ugly if you ask me; they care about their tenants; give them a rent discount if there's a bad harvest; support livestock farming and machinery—they’ve got some of my plows, but the locals don’t like them, and honestly, they’re right—they're not suited for these small fields; set an example by going to church; sponsor the Rifle Range; buy up the pubs when they can and operate them themselves; send out jelly, and let people come over on holidays. Honestly, I don’t know what they don’t do. Why?”

“Are they liked?”

“Are they liked?”

“Liked? No, I should hardly think they were liked; respected, and all that. Malloring's a steady fellow, keen man on housing, and a gentleman; she's a bit too much perhaps on the pious side. They've got one of the finest Georgian houses in the country. Altogether they're what you call 'model.'”

“Liked? No, I doubt they were liked; respected, sure, and all that. Malloring's a reliable guy, really into housing, and a gentleman; she might be a bit too pious, though. They've got one of the best Georgian houses in the country. Overall, they're what you'd call 'model.'”

“But not human.”

“But not a human.”

Stanley slightly lowered the Review and looked across it at his brother. It was evident to him that 'old Felix' was in one of his free-thinking moods.

Stanley slightly lowered the Review and looked across it at his brother. It was clear to him that 'old Felix' was in one of his free-thinking moods.

“They're domestic,” he said, “and fond of their children, and pleasant neighbors. I don't deny that they've got a tremendous sense of duty, but we want that in these days.”

“They're family-oriented,” he said, “and caring towards their kids, and friendly neighbors. I won’t deny that they have a strong sense of responsibility, but we need that these days.”

“Duty to what?”

"Obligation to what?"

Stanley raised his level eyebrows. It was a stumper. Without great care he felt that he would be getting over the border into the uncharted land of speculation and philosophy, wandering on paths that led him nowhere.

Stanley raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was a puzzler. He felt that without careful thought, he would be crossing into the unknown territory of speculation and philosophy, wandering down paths that would get him nowhere.

“If you lived in the country, old man,” he said, “you wouldn't ask that sort of question.”

“If you lived in the country, old man,” he said, “you wouldn’t ask that kind of question.”

“You don't imagine,” said Felix, “that you or the Mallorings live in the country? Why, you landlords are every bit as much town dwellers as I am—thought, habit, dress, faith, souls, all town stuff. There IS no 'country' in England now for us of the 'upper classes.' It's gone. I repeat: Duty to what?”

“You don't actually believe,” said Felix, “that you or the Mallorings live in the country? Come on, you landlords are just as much city dwellers as I am—thoughts, habits, fashion, beliefs, everything is city stuff. There is no 'country' in England anymore for us 'upper class' folks. It’s a thing of the past. I say again: Duty to what?”

And, rising, he went over to the window, looking out at the moonlit lawn, overcome by a sudden aversion from more talk. Of what use were words from a mind tuned in one key to a mind tuned in another? And yet, so ingrained was his habit of discussion, that he promptly went on:

And, standing up, he walked over to the window, gazing out at the moonlit lawn, feeling a sudden dislike for more conversation. What was the point of words from one mindset that was completely different from another? And yet, his habit of talking was so deep-rooted that he quickly continued:

“The Mallorings, I've not the slightest doubt, believe it their duty to look after the morals of those who live on their property. There are three things to be said about that: One—you can't make people moral by adopting the attitude of the schoolmaster. Two—it implies that they consider themselves more moral than their neighbors. Three—it's a theory so convenient to their security that they would be exceptionally good people if they did not adopt it; but, from your account, they are not so much exceptionally as just typically good people. What you call their sense of duty, Stanley, is really their sense of self-preservation coupled with their sense of superiority.”

“The Mallorings definitely believe it's their responsibility to manage the morals of those living on their property. There are three points to consider: First—you can’t make people moral by acting like a schoolmaster. Second—it suggests that they see themselves as more moral than their neighbors. Third—it’s a belief that’s so convenient for their own security that they would be exceptionally good people if they didn’t hold it; however, based on your description, they seem to be more typically good people than exceptionally so. What you refer to as their sense of duty, Stanley, is actually their sense of self-preservation mixed with their sense of superiority.”

“H'm!” said Stanley; “I don't know that I quite follow you.”

“Hm!” said Stanley; “I’m not sure I completely understand you.”

“I always hate an odor of sanctity. I'd prefer them to say frankly: 'This is my property, and you'll jolly well do what I tell you, on it.'”

“I always dislike that self-righteousness. I’d rather they just say openly: 'This is my property, and you will do exactly what I say while you're here.'”

“But, my dear chap, after all, they really ARE superior.”

“But, my dear friend, in the end, they truly ARE superior.”

“That,” said Felix, “I emphatically question. Put your Mallorings to earn their living on fifteen to eighteen shillings a week, and where would they be? The Mallorings have certain virtues, no doubt, natural to their fortunate environment, but of the primitive virtues of patience, hardihood, perpetual, almost unconscious self-sacrifice, and cheerfulness in the face of a hard fate, they are no more the equals of the people they pretend to be superior to than I am your equal as a man of business.”

"That," Felix said, "I strongly disagree with. If you had the Mallorings work to earn their living on fifteen to eighteen shillings a week, where would they end up? The Mallorings definitely have some virtues that come from their fortunate surroundings, but when it comes to the basic virtues of patience, resilience, constant, almost unconscious self-sacrifice, and staying cheerful despite tough circumstances, they are no more equals to the people they claim to be better than than I am to you as a businessman."

“Hang it!” was Stanley's answer, “what a d—d old heretic you are!”

“Hang it!” Stanley replied, “what a damn old heretic you are!”

Felix frowned. “Am I? Be honest! Take the life of a Malloring and take it at its best; see how it stands comparison in the ordinary virtues with those of an averagely good specimen of a farm-laborer. Your Malloring is called with a cup of tea, at, say, seven o'clock, out of a nice, clean, warm bed; he gets into a bath that has been got ready for him; into clothes and boots that have been brushed for him; and goes down to a room where there's a fire burning already if it's a cold day, writes a few letters, perhaps, before eating a breakfast of exactly what he likes, nicely prepared for him, and reading the newspaper that best comforts his soul; when he has eaten and read, he lights his cigar or his pipe and attends to his digestion in the most sanitary and comfortable fashion; then in his study he sits down to steady direction of other people, either by interview or by writing letters, or what not. In this way, between directing people and eating what he likes, he passes the whole day, except that for two or three hours, sometimes indeed seven or eight hours, he attends to his physique by riding, motoring, playing a game, or indulging in a sport that he has chosen for himself. And, at the end of all that, he probably has another bath that has been made ready for him, puts on clean clothes that have been put out for him, goes down to a good dinner that has been cooked for him, smokes, reads, learns, and inwardly digests, or else plays cards, billiards, and acts host till he is sleepy, and so to bed, in a clean, warm bed, in a clean, fresh room. Is that exaggerated?”

Felix frowned. “Am I? Be honest! Take the life of a Malloring and look at it at its best; see how it compares in everyday virtues with those of a typical farm laborer

“No; but when you talk of his directing other people, you forget that he is doing what they couldn't.”

“No; but when you talk about him guiding others, you forget that he’s doing what they can’t.”

“He may be doing what they couldn't; but ordinary directive ability is not born in a man; it's acquired by habit and training. Suppose fortune had reversed them at birth, the Gaunt or Tryst would by now have it and the Malloring would not. The accident that they were not reversed at birth has given the Malloring a thousandfold advantage.”

“He might be achieving what they couldn't; but basic leadership skills aren't something you're born with; they're developed through practice and experience. If luck had switched their circumstances at birth, the Gaunt or Tryst would have those skills by now, and the Malloring wouldn’t. The mere chance that they weren’t switched at birth has given the Malloring an immense advantage.”

“It's no joke directing things,” muttered Stanley.

“It's no joke running things,” muttered Stanley.

“No work is any joke; but I just put it to you: Simply as work, without taking in the question of reward, would you dream for a minute of swapping your work with the work of one of your workmen? No. Well, neither would a Malloring with one of his Gaunts. So that, my boy, for work which is intrinsically more interesting and pleasurable, the Malloring gets a hundred to a thousand times more money.”

“No job is a joke; but let me ask you this: Simply as a job, without considering the question of payment, would you ever think about switching your work with one of your employees? No? Well, neither would a Malloring with one of his Gaunts. So, my friend, for work that is inherently more interesting and enjoyable, the Malloring earns a hundred to a thousand times more money.”

“All this is rank socialism, my dear fellow.”

“All this is outright socialism, my friend.”

“No; rank truth. Now, to take the life of a Gaunt. He gets up summer and winter much earlier out of a bed that he cannot afford time or money to keep too clean or warm, in a small room that probably has not a large enough window; into clothes stiff with work and boots stiff with clay; makes something hot for himself, very likely brings some of it to his wife and children; goes out, attending to his digestion crudely and without comfort; works with his hands and feet from half past six or seven in the morning till past five at night, except that twice he stops for an hour or so and eats simple things that he would not altogether have chosen to eat if he could have had his will. He goes home to a tea that has been got ready for him, and has a clean-up without assistance, smokes a pipe of shag, reads a newspaper perhaps two days old, and goes out again to work for his own good, in his vegetable patch, or to sit on a wooden bench in an atmosphere of beer and 'baccy.' And so, dead tired, but not from directing other people, he drowses himself to early lying again in his doubtful bed. Is that exaggerated?”

“No; let's be honest. Now, consider the life of a Gaunt. He gets up early every day, summer and winter, from a bed that he can’t afford to keep clean or warm, in a small room that probably doesn’t have a big enough window; he puts on work-stiff clothes and clay-caked boots; makes himself something hot to eat, and likely brings some to his wife and kids; goes out, taking care of his digestion in a rough and uncomfortable way; works hard with his hands and feet from around 6:30 or 7 in the morning until after 5 in the evening, except for two breaks where he eats simple food he wouldn’t have chosen if he had other options. He goes home to tea that’s been prepared for him, cleans up on his own, smokes a pipe of shag, reads a newspaper that’s probably a couple of days old, and then goes back out to work in his garden or sits on a wooden bench surrounded by beer and tobacco. Finally, dead tired but not from managing others, he dozes off to sleep again in his uncertain bed. Is that an exaggeration?”

“I suppose not, but he—”

"I guess not, but he—"

“Has his compensations: Clean conscience—freedom from worry—fresh air, all the rest of it! I know. Clean conscience granted, but so has your Malloring, it would seem. Freedom from worry—yes, except when a pair of boots is wanted, or one of the children is ill; then he has to make up for lost time with a vengeance. Fresh air—and wet clothes, with a good chance of premature rheumatism. Candidly, which of those two lives demands more of the virtues on which human life is founded—courage and patience, hardihood and self-sacrifice? And which of two men who have lived those two lives well has most right to the word 'superior'?”

“Has his perks: a clear conscience—freedom from worry—fresh air, and all that! I get it. A clear conscience, sure, but it seems like your Malloring has that too. Freedom from worry—definitely, except when he needs a new pair of boots or one of the kids is sick; then he has to make up for lost time big time. Fresh air—and wet clothes, with a good chance of getting rheumatism early. Honestly, which of those two lives requires more of the qualities that human life is built on—courage and patience, toughness and self-sacrifice? And which of the two men who have lived those lives well has more claim to the word 'superior'?”

Stanley dropped the Review and for fully a minute paced the room without reply. Then he said:

Stanley dropped the Review and paced the room for a full minute without saying anything. Then he said:

“Felix, you're talking flat revolution.”

“Felix, you're having a total meltdown.”

Felix, who, faintly smiling, had watched him up and down, up and down the Turkey carpet, answered:

Felix, faintly smiling as he watched him pace back and forth on the Turkey carpet, replied:

“Not so. I am by no means a revolutionary person, because with all the good-will in the world I have been unable to see how upheavals from the bottom, or violence of any sort, is going to equalize these lives or do any good. But I detest humbug, and I believe that so long as you and your Mallorings go on blindly dosing yourselves with humbug about duty and superiority, so long will you see things as they are not. And until you see things as they are, purged of all that sickening cant, you will none of you really move to make the conditions of life more and ever more just. For, mark you, Stanley, I, who do not believe in revolution from the bottom, the more believe that it is up to us in honour to revolutionize things from the top!”

“Not at all. I’m definitely not a revolutionary person because, despite my best intentions, I can’t see how uprisings from the bottom or any kind of violence will ever balance these lives or help in any way. But I really can’t stand nonsense, and I believe that as long as you and your Mallorings keep blindly feeding yourselves nonsense about duty and superiority, you’ll continue to see things the wrong way. And until you see things as they truly are, free from all that disgusting talk, none of you will genuinely take action to make life’s conditions fairer and fairer. Because, let me tell you, Stanley, I, who don’t believe in bottom-up revolutions, actually believe it’s our responsibility to change things from the top!”

“H'm!” said Stanley; “that's all very well; but the more you give the more they want, till there's no end to it.”

“Hmm!” said Stanley; “that’s all fine; but the more you give, the more they want, until it never ends.”

Felix stared round that room, where indeed one was all body.

Felix looked around the room, where everyone was just one big presence.

“By George,” he said, “I've yet to see a beginning. But, anyway, if you give in a grudging spirit, or the spirit of a schoolmaster, what can you expect? If you offer out of real good-will, so it is taken.” And suddenly conscious that he had uttered a constructive phrase, Felix cast down his eyes, and added:

“By George,” he said, “I still haven't seen a beginning. But, anyway, if you give in with a reluctant attitude, or like a teacher, what can you expect? If you give out of genuine goodwill, that's how it will be received.” And suddenly realizing that he had said something meaningful, Felix looked down and added:

“I am going to my clean, warm bed. Good night, old man!”

“I’m heading to my clean, warm bed. Good night, old man!”

When his brother had taken up his candlestick and gone, Stanley, uttering a dubious sound, sat down on the lounge, drank deep out of his tumbler, and once more took up his Review.

When his brother picked up his candlestick and left, Stanley made a skeptical noise, sat down on the couch, took a long drink from his glass, and picked up his Review again.





CHAPTER VII

The next day Stanley's car, fraught with Felix and a note from Clara, moved swiftly along the grass-bordered roads toward Joyfields. Lying back on the cushioned seat, the warm air flying at his face, Felix contemplated with delight his favorite countryside. Certainly this garden of England was very lovely, its greenness, trees, and large, pied, lazy cattle; its very emptiness of human beings even was pleasing.

The next day Stanley's car, filled with Felix and a note from Clara, zoomed along the grass-lined roads toward Joyfields. Lying back on the cushioned seat, with the warm air rushing at his face, Felix happily admired his favorite countryside. This garden of England was really beautiful, with its lush greenery, trees, and large, colorful, lazy cows; even the lack of people was nice.

Nearing Joyfields he noted the Mallorings' park and their long Georgian house, carefully fronting south. There, too, was the pond of what village there was, with the usual ducks on it; and three well-remembered cottages in a row, neat and trim, of the old, thatched sort, but evidently restored. Out of the door of one of them two young people had just emerged, going in the same direction as the car. Felix passed them and turned to look. Yes, it was they! He stopped the car. They were walking, with eyes straight before them, frowning. And Felix thought: 'Nothing of Tod in either of them; regular Celts!'

As he approached Joyfields, he noticed the Mallorings' park and their long Georgian house facing south. There was also the small pond that served the village, complete with the usual ducks swimming around; and three familiar, neat cottages in a row, the old thatched style but clearly restored. Just then, two young people stepped out of one of them, heading in the same direction as the car. Felix drove past them and turned to look. Yes, it was them! He stopped the car. They were walking with their eyes fixed straight ahead, frowning. And Felix thought, 'Nothing of Tod in either of them; just typical Celts!'

The girl's vivid, open face, crisp, brown, untidy hair, cheeks brimful of color, thick lips, eyes that looked up and out as a Skye terrier's eyes look out of its shagginess—indeed, her whole figure struck Felix as almost frighteningly vital; and she walked as if she despised the ground she covered. The boy was even more arresting. What a strange, pale-dark face, with its black, uncovered hair, its straight black brows; what a proud, swan's-eyed, thin-lipped, straight-nosed young devil, marching like a very Highlander; though still rather run-up, from sheer youthfulness! They had come abreast of the car by now, and, leaning out, he said:

The girl's bright, open face, messy brown hair, rosy cheeks, thick lips, and eyes that sparkled like a Skye terrier's peeking through its fur—everything about her seemed almost overwhelmingly full of life to Felix; she walked as if she looked down on the ground beneath her. The boy was even more striking. What an unusual pale-dark face, with his unkempt black hair and straight black eyebrows; what a proud, piercing-eyed, thin-lipped, straight-nosed young rebel, striding like a true Highlander, though still a bit awkward from his youth! They had now come level with the car, and, leaning out, he said:

“You don't remember me, I'm afraid!” The boy shook his head. Wonderful eyes he had! But the girl put out her hand.

“You don’t remember me, I’m afraid!” The boy shook his head. He had such wonderful eyes! But the girl reached out her hand.

“Of course, Derek; it's Uncle Felix.”

“Of course, Derek; it’s Uncle Felix.”

They both smiled now, the girl friendly, the boy rather drawn back into himself. And feeling strangely small and ill at ease, Felix murmured:

They both smiled now, the girl friendly and the boy a bit more reserved. Feeling strangely small and uneasy, Felix murmured:

“I'm going to see your father. Can I give you a lift home?”

“I'm going to see your dad. Do you want a ride home?”

The answer came as he expected:

The answer came just as he expected:

“No, thanks.” Then, as if to tone it down, the girl added:

“No, thanks.” Then, trying to be more casual, the girl added:

“We've got something to do first. You'll find him in the orchard.”

“We have something to do first. You'll find him in the orchard.”

She had a ringing voice, full of warmth. Lifting his hat, Felix passed on. They WERE a couple! Strange, attractive, almost frightening. Kirsteen had brought his brother a formidable little brood.

She had a warm, ringing voice. Lifting his hat, Felix walked on. They were a couple! Odd, appealing, and a bit intimidating. Kirsteen had given his brother an impressive little family.

Arriving at the cottage, he went up its mossy stones and through the wicket gate. There was little change, indeed, since the days of Clara's visit, save that the beehives had been moved farther out. Nor did any one answer his knock; and mindful of the girl's words, “You'll find him in the orchard,” he made his way out among the trees. The grass was long and starred with petals. Felix wandered over it among bees busy with the apple-blossom. At the very end he came on his brother, cutting down a pear-tree. Tod was in shirt-sleeves, his brown arms bare almost to the shoulders. How tremendous the fellow was! What resounding and terrific blows he was dealing! Down came the tree, and Tod drew his arm across his brow. This great, burnt, curly-headed fellow was more splendid to look upon than even Felix had remembered, and so well built that not a movement of his limbs was heavy. His cheek-bones were very broad and high; his brows thick and rather darker than his bright hair, so that his deep-set, very blue eyes seemed to look out of a thicket; his level white teeth gleamed from under his tawny moustache, and his brown, unshaven cheeks and jaw seemed covered with gold powder. Catching sight of Felix, he came forward.

Arriving at the cottage, he walked up its mossy stones and through the wicket gate. There was little change since Clara's visit, except that the beehives had been moved further out. No one answered his knock, so remembering the girl's words, “You'll find him in the orchard,” he made his way among the trees. The grass was long and dotted with petals. Felix wandered through it, surrounded by bees busy with the apple blossoms. At the far end, he found his brother cutting down a pear tree. Tod was in his shirtsleeves, his brown arms bare nearly to his shoulders. He looked incredible! The powerful blows he was delivering were impressive! Down came the tree, and Tod wiped his brow with his arm. This strong, curly-haired guy was even more striking than Felix remembered, so well built that not a single movement of his limbs looked heavy. His cheekbones were broad and high; his brows were thick and slightly darker than his bright hair, making his deep-set, very blue eyes appear to emerge from a thicket. His straight white teeth shone beneath his tawny mustache, and his brown, unshaven cheeks and jaw seemed dusted with gold powder. Spotting Felix, he walked over.

“Fancy,” he said, “old Gladstone spending his leisure cutting down trees—of all melancholy jobs!”

“Wow,” he said, “old Gladstone spending his free time chopping down trees—of all sad activities!”

Felix did not quite know what to answer, so he put his arm within his brother's. Tod drew him toward the tree.

Felix wasn't sure how to respond, so he linked his arm with his brother's. Tod pulled him toward the tree.

“Sit down!” he said. Then, looking sorrowfully at the pear-tree, he murmured:

“Sit down!” he said. Then, looking sadly at the pear tree, he murmured:

“Seventy years—and down in seven minutes. Now we shall burn it. Well, it had to go. This is the third year it's had no blossom.”

“Seventy years—and gone in seven minutes. Now we’re going to burn it. Well, it had to happen. This is the third year it hasn’t bloomed.”

His speech was slow, like that of a man accustomed to think aloud. Felix admired him askance. “I might live next door,” he thought, “for all the notice he's taken of my turning up!”

His speech was slow, like a guy used to thinking out loud. Felix watched him sideways. “I might as well live next door,” he thought, “for all the attention he’s paid to my showing up!”

“I came over in Stanley's car,” he said. “Met your two coming along—fine couple they are!”

“I came over in Stanley's car,” he said. “I ran into your two on the way—what a great couple they are!”

“Ah!” said Tod. And there was something in the way he said it that was more than a mere declaration of pride or of affection. Then he looked at Felix.

“Ah!” said Tod. There was something in the way he said it that went beyond just expressing pride or affection. Then he looked at Felix.

“What have you come for, old man?”

“What did you come for, old man?”

Felix smiled. Quaint way to put it!

Felix smiled. What a charming way to say it!

“For a talk.”

"To have a chat."

“Ah!” said Tod, and he whistled.

“Ah!” said Tod, and he whistled.

A largish, well-made dog with a sleek black coat, white underneath, and a black tail white-tipped, came running up, and stood before Tod, with its head rather to one side and its yellow-brown eyes saying: 'I simply must get at what you're thinking, you know.'

A medium-sized, sturdy dog with a shiny black coat, white underneath, and a black tail with a white tip came running up and stood in front of Tod, tilting its head slightly and its yellow-brown eyes saying, 'I really need to know what you’re thinking, you know.'

“Go and tell your mistress to come—Mistress!”

“Go and tell your boss to come—Boss!”

The dog moved his tail, lowered it, and went off.

The dog wagged his tail, tucked it down, and walked away.

“A gypsy gave him to me,” said Tod; “best dog that ever lived.”

“A gypsy gave him to me,” Tod said; “the best dog that ever lived.”

“Every one thinks that of his own dog, old man.”

“Everyone thinks that about their own dog, old man.”

“Yes,” said Tod; “but this IS.”

“Yes,” said Tod; “but this IS.”

“He looks intelligent.”

“He seems smart.”

“He's got a soul,” said Tod. “The gypsy said he didn't steal him, but he did.”

“He's got a soul,” said Tod. “The gypsy said he didn’t steal him, but he did.”

“Do you always know when people aren't speaking the truth, then?”

“Do you always know when people are lying, then?”

“Yes.”

"Yeah."

At such a monstrous remark from any other man, Felix would have smiled; but seeing it was Tod, he only asked: “How?”

At such a monstrous comment from anyone else, Felix would have smiled; but since it was Tod, he simply asked, “How?”

“People who aren't speaking the truth look you in the face and never move their eyes.”

“People who aren’t telling the truth look you in the eye and never blink.”

“Some people do that when they are speaking the truth.”

“Some people do that when they’re being honest.”

“Yes; but when they aren't, you can see them struggling to keep their eyes straight. A dog avoids your eye when he's something to conceal; a man stares at you. Listen!”

“Yes; but when they aren't, you can see them struggling to keep their eyes straight. A dog avoids your gaze when he's trying to hide something; a man stares at you. Listen!”

Felix listened and heard nothing.

Felix listened and heard silence.

“A wren;” and, screwing up his lips, Tod emitted a sound: “Look!”

“A wren,” and puckering his lips, Tod made a sound: “Look!”

Felix saw on the branch of an apple-tree a tiny brown bird with a little beak sticking out and a little tail sticking up. And he thought: 'Tod's hopeless!'

Felix saw a small brown bird on the branch of an apple tree, with a tiny beak sticking out and a little tail pointing up. And he thought, 'Tod's hopeless!'

“That fellow,” said Tod softly, “has got his nest there just behind us.” Again he emitted the sound. Felix saw the little bird move its head with a sort of infinite curiosity, and hop twice on the branch.

“That guy,” said Tod softly, “has his nest right back there behind us.” Again he made the sound. Felix watched the little bird tilt its head with endless curiosity and hop twice on the branch.

“I can't get the hen to do that,” Tod murmured.

"I can't get the chicken to do that," Tod murmured.

Felix put his hand on his brother's arm—what an arm!

Felix placed his hand on his brother's arm—what an arm!

“Yes,” he said; “but look here, old man—I really want to talk to you.”

“Yes,” he said; “but listen, buddy—I really want to talk to you.”

Tod shook his head. “Wait for her,” he said.

Tod shook his head. “Wait for her,” he said.

Felix waited. Tod was getting awfully eccentric, living this queer, out-of-the-way life with a cranky woman year after year; never reading anything, never seeing any one but tramps and animals and villagers. And yet, sitting there beside his eccentric brother on that fallen tree, he had an extraordinary sense of rest. It was, perhaps, but the beauty and sweetness of the day with its dappling sunlight brightening the apple-blossoms, the wind-flowers, the wood-sorrel, and in the blue sky above the fields those clouds so unimaginably white. All the tiny noises of the orchard, too, struck on his ear with a peculiar meaning, a strange fulness, as if he had never heard such sounds before. Tod, who was looking at the sky, said suddenly:

Felix waited. Tod was becoming pretty eccentric, living this strange, secluded life with a difficult woman year after year; never reading anything, never seeing anyone except for drifters, animals, and locals. And yet, sitting there next to his quirky brother on that fallen tree, he felt an incredible sense of peace. It was probably just the beauty and warmth of the day, with sunlight filtering through and highlighting the apple blossoms, wind flowers, and wood sorrel, against a blue sky filled with clouds that were unbelievably white. All the little sounds of the orchard also reached his ears with a peculiar significance, a strange depth, as if he had never heard such noises before. Tod, who was gazing at the sky, suddenly said:

“Are you hungry?”

“Are you hungry?”

And Felix remembered that they never had any proper meals, but, when hungry, went to the kitchen, where a wood-fire was always burning, and either heated up coffee, and porridge that was already made, with boiled eggs and baked potatoes and apples, or devoured bread, cheese, jam, honey, cream, tomatoes, butter, nuts, and fruit, that were always set out there on a wooden table, under a muslin awning; he remembered, too, that they washed up their own bowls and spoons and plates, and, having finished, went outside and drew themselves a draught of water. Queer life, and deuced uncomfortable—almost Chinese in its reversal of everything that every one else was doing.

And Felix recalled that they never had any real meals, but when they were hungry, they would go to the kitchen, where a wood fire was always burning. They would either heat up leftover coffee and porridge, along with boiled eggs, baked potatoes, and apples, or they would munch on bread, cheese, jam, honey, cream, tomatoes, butter, nuts, and fruit that were always laid out on a wooden table under a muslin awning. He also remembered that they washed their own bowls, spoons, and plates, and after finishing, they would go outside and pour themselves a glass of water. It was a strange life, and pretty uncomfortable—almost like a complete reversal of everything everyone else was doing.

“No,” he said, “I'm not.”

“No,” he said, “I’m not.”

“I am. Here she is.”

"I'm here. Here she is."

Felix felt his heart beating—Clara was not alone in being frightened of this woman. She was coming through the orchard with the dog; a remarkable-looking woman—oh, certainly remarkable! She greeted him without surprise and, sitting down close to Tod, said: “I'm glad to see you.”

Felix felt his heart racing—Clara wasn’t the only one scared of this woman. She was walking through the orchard with the dog; an impressive-looking woman—definitely impressive! She greeted him without any surprise and, sitting down next to Tod, said, “I’m glad to see you.”

Why did this family somehow make him feel inferior? The way she sat there and looked at him so calmly! Still more the way she narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her lips, as if rather malicious thoughts were rising in her soul! Her hair, as is the way of fine, soft, almost indigo-colored hair, was already showing threads of silver; her whole face and figure thinner than he had remembered. But a striking woman still—with wonderful eyes! Her dress—Felix had scanned many a crank in his day—was not so alarming as it had once seemed to Clara; its coarse-woven, deep-blue linen and needle-worked yoke were pleasing to him, and he could hardly take his gaze from the kingfisher-blue band or fillet that she wore round that silver-threaded black hair.

Why did this family somehow make him feel less than them? The way she sat there and looked at him so calmly! Even more so the way she narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her lips, as if some rather mean thoughts were bubbling up inside her! Her hair, like fine, soft, almost indigo-colored hair usually does, was already showing strands of silver; her whole face and figure were slimmer than he remembered. But she was still a striking woman—with amazing eyes! Her dress—Felix had seen many odd outfits in his time—wasn't as shocking as it had once seemed to Clara; its coarse-woven, deep-blue linen and intricately worked yoke were nice to him, and he could hardly look away from the kingfisher-blue band or ribbon she wore around that silver-threaded black hair.

He began by giving her Clara's note, the wording of which he had himself dictated:

He started by handing her Clara's note, which he had written himself:

“DEAR KIRSTEEN:

"Hey Kirsteen:"

“Though we have not seen each other for so long, I am sure you will forgive my writing. It would give us so much pleasure if you and the two children would come over for a night or two while Felix and his young folk are staying with us. It is no use, I fear, to ask Tod; but of course if he would come, too, both Stanley and myself would be delighted.

“Even though we haven't seen each other in a long time, I hope you won't mind my writing. It would bring us so much joy if you and the two kids could come over for a night or two while Felix and his family are visiting us. I’m afraid it’s pointless to invite Tod; but if he could join us too, both Stanley and I would be thrilled.”

“Yours cordially,

"Best regards,"

“CLARA FREELAND.”

“Clara Freeland.”

She read it, handed it to Tod, who also read it and handed it to Felix. Nobody said anything. It was so altogether simple and friendly a note that Felix felt pleased with it, thinking: 'I expressed that well!'

She read it, gave it to Tod, who also read it and passed it to Felix. No one said a word. It was such a straightforward and friendly note that Felix felt happy about it, thinking: 'I conveyed that really well!'

Then Tod said: “Go ahead, old man! You've got something to say about the youngsters, haven't you?”

Then Tod said: “Come on, old man! You've got something to say about the young people, right?”

How on earth did he know that? But then Tod HAD a sort of queer prescience.

How did he know that? But then Tod did have a kind of strange intuition.

“Well,” he brought out with an effort, “don't you think it's a pity to embroil your young people in village troubles? We've been hearing from Stanley—”

“Well,” he said with some effort, “don't you think it's a shame to get your young people mixed up in village issues? We've been hearing from Stanley—”

Kirsteen interrupted in her calm, staccato voice with just the faintest lisp:

Kirsteen broke in with her steady, clipped voice, accompanied by the slightest lisp:

“Stanley would not understand.”

“Stanley wouldn't understand.”

She had put her arm through Tod's, but never removed her eyes from her brother-in-law's face.

She linked her arm with Tod's but never took her eyes off her brother-in-law's face.

“Possibly,” said Felix, “but you must remember that Stanley, John, and myself represent ordinary—what shall we say—level-headed opinion.”

“Maybe,” said Felix, “but you have to keep in mind that Stanley, John, and I represent regular—what should we say—practical opinion.”

“With which we have nothing in common, I'm afraid.”

“Unfortunately, we have nothing in common.”

Felix glanced from her to Tod. The fellow had his head on one side and seemed listening to something in the distance. And Felix felt a certain irritation.

Felix looked from her to Tod. The guy had his head tilted to one side and seemed to be listening to something far away. And Felix felt a bit annoyed.

“It's all very well,” he said, “but I think you really have got to look at your children's future from a larger point of view. You don't surely want them to fly out against things before they've had a chance to see life for themselves.”

“It's all well and good,” he said, “but I think you really need to consider your children's future from a broader perspective. You don't want them to rebel against things before they've had a chance to experience life for themselves.”

She answered:

She responded:

“The children know more of life than most young people. They've seen it close to, they've seen its realities. They know what the tyranny of the countryside means.”

“The children understand life better than most young people. They've experienced it up close and seen its realities. They know what the oppression of the countryside feels like.”

“Yes, yes,” said Felix, “but youth is youth.”

“Yes, yes,” Felix said, “but youth is youth.”

“They are not too young to know and feel the truth.”

“They're not too young to know and feel the truth.”

Felix was impressed. How those narrowing eyes shone! What conviction in that faintly lisping voice!

Felix was impressed. How those narrowing eyes sparkled! What confidence in that slightly lisping voice!

'I am a fool for my pains,' he thought, and only said:

'I am being foolish for my troubles,' he thought, and only said:

“Well, what about this invitation, anyway?”

“Well, what’s the deal with this invitation, then?”

“Yes; it will be just the thing for them at the moment.”

“Yes, it will be perfect for them right now.”

The words had to Felix a somewhat sinister import. He knew well enough that she did not mean by them what others would have meant. But he said: “When shall we expect them? Tuesday, I suppose, would be best for Clara, after her weekend. Is there no chance of you and Tod?”

The words felt a bit ominous to Felix. He understood that she didn't mean what others would have interpreted. But he said, “When should we expect them? I guess Tuesday would work best for Clara, after her weekend. Is there any chance you and Tod will come?”

She quaintly wrinkled her lips into not quite a smile, and answered:

She slightly curled her lips into an almost smile and replied:

“Tod shall say. Do you hear, Tod?”

“Tod will say. Do you hear, Tod?”

“In the meadow. It was there yesterday—first time this year.”

“In the meadow. It was there yesterday—first time this year.”

Felix slipped his arm through his brother's.

Felix linked his arm with his brother's.

“Quite so, old man.”

“Exactly, old man.”

“What?” said Tod. “Ah! let's go in. I'm awfully hungry....”

“Wait, what?” Tod said. “Ah! Let’s go inside. I’m really hungry...”

Sometimes out of a calm sky a few drops fall, the twigs rustle, and far away is heard the muttering of thunder; the traveller thinks: 'A storm somewhere about.' Then all once more is so quiet and peaceful that he forgets he ever had that thought, and goes on his way careless.

Sometimes, from a clear sky, a few drops fall, the branches rustle, and in the distance, you can hear the rumble of thunder; the traveler thinks, 'There's a storm nearby.' Then everything returns to being quiet and peaceful, and he forgets he ever had that thought and continues on his way without a care.

So with Felix returning to Becket in Stanley's car. That woman's face, those two young heathens—the unconscious Tod!

So, with Felix coming back to Becket in Stanley's car. That woman's face, those two young troublemakers—the unaware Tod!

There was mischief in the air above that little household. But once more the smooth gliding of the cushioned car, the soft peace of the meadows so permanently at grass, the churches, mansions, cottages embowered among their elms, the slow-flapping flight of the rooks and crows lulled Felix to quietude, and the faint far muttering of that thunder died away.

There was a sense of trouble in the air above that little home. But once again, the smooth glide of the comfy car, the gentle calm of the meadows always lush with grass, the churches, mansions, and cottages nestled among their elm trees, and the slow, flapping flight of the rooks and crows eased Felix into relaxation, while the distant rumble of thunder faded away.

Nedda was in the drive when he returned, gazing at a nymph set up there by Clara. It was a good thing, procured from Berlin, well known for sculpture, and beginning to green over already, as though it had been there a long time—a pretty creature with shoulders drooping, eyes modestly cast down, and a sparrow perching on her head.

Nedda was in the driveway when he came back, looking at a nymph that Clara had put there. It was a nice piece, gotten from Berlin, which is famous for its sculptures, and it was already starting to get some greenery on it, as if it had been there for a while—a lovely figure with slouched shoulders, eyes shyly looking down, and a sparrow sitting on her head.

“Well, Dad?”

"What's up, Dad?"

“They're coming.”

"They're on their way."

“When?”

"When?"

“On Tuesday—the youngsters, only.”

"Tuesday is for the kids only."

“You might tell me a little about them.”

“You could tell me a bit about them.”

But Felix only smiled. His powers of description faltered before that task; and, proud of those powers, he did not choose to subject them to failure.

But Felix just smiled. His ability to describe things stumbled when faced with that task; and, confident in those abilities, he didn't want to risk them failing.





CHAPTER VIII

Not till three o'clock that Saturday did the Bigwigs begin to come. Lord and Lady Britto first from Erne by car; then Sir Gerald and Lady Malloring, also by car from Joyfields; an early afternoon train brought three members of the Lower House, who liked a round of golf—Colonel Martlett, Mr. Sleesor, and Sir John Fanfar—with their wives; also Miss Bawtrey, an American who went everywhere; and Moorsome, the landscape-painter, a short, very heavy man who went nowhere, and that in almost perfect silence, which he afterward avenged. By a train almost sure to bring no one else came Literature in Public Affairs, alone, Henry Wiltram, whom some believed to have been the very first to have ideas about the land. He was followed in the last possible train by Cuthcott, the advanced editor, in his habitual hurry, and Lady Maude Ughtred in her beauty. Clara was pleased, and said to Stanley, while dressing, that almost every shade of opinion about the land was represented this week-end. She was not, she said, afraid of anything, if she could keep Henry Wiltram and Cuthcott apart. The House of Commons men would, of course, be all right. Stanley assented: “They'll be 'fed up' with talk. But how about Britto—he can sometimes be very nasty, and Cuthcott's been pretty rough on him, in his rag.”

Not until three o'clock that Saturday did the Bigwigs start to arrive. Lord and Lady Britto came first from Erne by car; then Sir Gerald and Lady Malloring arrived by car from Joyfields; an early afternoon train brought three members of the Lower House who enjoyed a round of golf—Colonel Martlett, Mr. Sleesor, and Sir John Fanfar—along with their wives; also, Miss Bawtrey, an American who got around, and Moorsome, the landscape painter, a short and very heavy man who hardly ever went anywhere, and did so in almost complete silence, which he later took revenge for. A train that was almost certainly not bringing anyone else delivered Literature in Public Affairs, alone, Henry Wiltram, whom some believed was the very first to have ideas about the land. He was followed on the last possible train by Cuthcott, the progressive editor in his usual hurry, and Lady Maude Ughtred in all her beauty. Clara was pleased and told Stanley, while getting ready, that almost every perspective on the land was represented this weekend. She said she wasn’t afraid of anything, as long as she could keep Henry Wiltram and Cuthcott apart. The House of Commons men would, of course, be fine. Stanley agreed: “They'll be tired of talking. But what about Britto—he can sometimes be really unpleasant, and Cuthcott’s been pretty harsh on him in his column.”

Clara had remembered that, and she was putting Lady Maude on one side of Cuthcott, and Moorsome on the other, so that he would be quite safe at dinner, and afterward—Stanley must look out!

Clara remembered that, and she was placing Lady Maude on one side of Cuthcott and Moorsome on the other, so he would be completely safe at dinner, and afterward—Stanley better watch out!

“What have you done with Nedda?” Stanley asked.

“What did you do with Nedda?” Stanley asked.

“Given her to Colonel Martlett, with Sir John Fanfar on the other side; they both like something fresh.” She hoped, however, to foster a discussion, so that they might really get further this week-end; the opportunity was too good to throw away.

“Given her to Colonel Martlett, with Sir John Fanfar on the other side; they both like something new.” She hoped, though, to spark a conversation, so that they could actually make some progress this weekend; the chance was too good to pass up.

“H'm!” Stanley murmured. “Felix said some very queer things the other night. He, too, might make ructions.”

“Hm!” Stanley murmured. “Felix said some really strange things the other night. He might stir up some trouble, too.”

Oh, no!—Clara persisted—Felix had too much good taste. She thought that something might be coming out of this occasion, something as it were national, that would bear fruit. And watching Stanley buttoning his braces, she grew enthusiastic. For, think how splendidly everything was represented! Britto, with his view that the thing had gone too far, and all the little efforts we might make now were no good, with Canada and those great spaces to outbid anything we could do; though she could not admit that he was right, there was a lot in what he said; he had great gifts—and some day might—who knew? Then there was Sir John—Clara pursued—who was almost the father of the new Tory policy: Assist the farmers to buy their own land. And Colonel Martlett, representing the older Tory policy of: What the devil would happen to the landowners if they did? Secretly (Clara felt sure) he would never go into a lobby to support that. He had said to her: 'Look at my brother James's property; if we bring this policy in, and the farmers take advantage, his house might stand there any day without an acre round it.' Quite true—it might. The same might even happen to Becket.

Oh, no!—Clara insisted—Felix had way too much good taste. She thought something could come out of this event, something like a national initiative that would bear fruit. As she watched Stanley buttoning his suspenders, she felt excited. Just think about how brilliantly everything was represented! Britto, who believed the whole thing had gone too far and that any small efforts we could make now were pointless, given Canada and those vast lands that would overshadow anything we could achieve; though she couldn’t admit he was right, there was a lot of truth in what he said; he had amazing talents—and one day might—who knows? Then there was Sir John—Clara continued—who was almost the architect of the new Tory policy: Helping farmers buy their own land. And Colonel Martlett, representing the older Tory approach of: What in the world would happen to the landowners if they did? Deep down (Clara was sure) he would never go into a lobby to support that. He had said to her: 'Look at my brother James's property; if we implement this policy, and the farmers take advantage of it, his house could end up standing there one day with no land around it.' Quite true—it could. The same could even happen to Becket.

Stanley grunted.

Stanley grunted.

Exactly!—Clara went on: And that was the beauty of having got the Mallorings; theirs was such a steady point of view, and she was not sure that they weren't right, and the whole thing really a question of model proprietorship.

Exactly!—Clara continued: And that was the beauty of having the Mallorings; they had such a steady perspective, and she wasn't sure that they weren't right, and the whole thing was really just a matter of good ownership.

“H'm!” Stanley muttered. “Felix will have his knife into that.”

“H'm!” Stanley muttered. “Felix will be all over that.”

Clara did not think that mattered. The thing was to get everybody's opinion. Even Mr. Moorsome's would be valuable—if he weren't so terrifically silent, for he must think a lot, sitting all day, as he did, painting the land.

Clara didn’t think that was important. The main thing was to get everyone’s opinion. Even Mr. Moorsome’s would be useful—if he weren’t so incredibly quiet, since he must have a lot on his mind, sitting all day, as he did, painting the countryside.

“He's a heavy ass,” said Stanley.

"He's a heavy jerk," said Stanley.

Yes; but Clara did not wish to be narrow. That was why it was so splendid to have got Mr. Sleesor. If anybody knew the Radical mind he did, and he could give full force to what one always felt was at the bottom of it—that the Radicals' real supporters were the urban classes; so that their policy must not go too far with 'the Land,' for fear of seeming to neglect the towns. For, after all, in the end it was out of the pockets of the towns that 'the Land' would have to be financed, and nobody really could expect the towns to get anything out of it. Stanley paused in the adjustment of his tie; his wife was a shrewd woman.

Yes; but Clara didn't want to be narrow-minded. That's why it was so great to have Mr. Sleesor. If anyone understood the Radical mindset, it was him, and he could highlight what everyone always felt was at its core—that the real supporters of the Radicals were the urban classes. Therefore, their policies couldn't go too far with 'the Land,' to avoid appearing to neglect the towns. After all, in the end, it would be the towns that would foot the bill for 'the Land,' and no one honestly expected the towns to gain anything from it. Stanley paused while adjusting his tie; his wife was a perceptive woman.

“You've hit it there,” he said. “Wiltram will give it him hot on that, though.”

"You've got it right there," he said. "Wiltram will really come down on him for that."

Of course, Clara assented. And it was magnificent that they had got Henry Wiltram, with his idealism and his really heavy corn tax; not caring what happened to the stunted products of the towns—and they truly were stunted, for all that the Radicals and the half-penny press said—till at all costs we could grow our own food. There was a lot in that.

Of course, Clara agreed. And it was amazing that they had Henry Wiltram, with his idealism and his serious corn tax; not caring what happened to the struggling products of the towns—and they really were struggling, despite what the Radicals and the cheap press claimed—until we could grow our own food no matter what. There was a lot to that.

“Yes,” Stanley muttered, “and if he gets on to it, shan't I have a jolly time of it in the smoking-room? I know what Cuthcott's like with his shirt out.”

“Yes,” Stanley muttered, “and if he finds out, I'm going to have a rough time in the smoking room. I know how Cuthcott is when his shirt is untucked.”

Clara's eyes brightened; she was very curious herself to see Mr. Cuthcott with his—that is, to hear him expound the doctrine he was always writing up, namely, that 'the Land' was gone and, short of revolution, there was nothing for it but garden cities. She had heard he was so cutting and ferocious that he really did seem as if he hated his opponents. She hoped he would get a chance—perhaps Felix could encourage him.

Clara's eyes lit up; she was really eager to see Mr. Cuthcott—well, to hear him explain the theory he constantly wrote about, which was that 'the Land' was gone and, unless there was a revolution, the only solution was garden cities. She had heard that he was so sharp and intense that he seemed to genuinely hate his opponents. She hoped he would get an opportunity—maybe Felix could give him some encouragement.

“What about the women?” Stanley asked suddenly. “Will they stand a political powwow? One must think of them a bit.”

“What about the women?” Stanley asked suddenly. “Will they be part of this political discussion? We need to consider them too.”

Clara had. She was taking a farewell look at herself in the far-away mirror through the door into her bedroom. It was a mistake—she added—to suppose that women were not interested in 'the Land.' Lady Britto was most intelligent, and Mildred Malloring knew every cottage on her estate.

Clara had. She was taking a final look at herself in the distant mirror through the door into her bedroom. It was a mistake—she added—to think that women weren’t interested in 'the Land.' Lady Britto was very smart, and Mildred Malloring knew every cottage on her property.

“Pokes her nose into 'em often enough,” Stanley muttered.

“Pokes her nose into them often enough,” Stanley muttered.

Lady Fanfar again, and Mrs. Sleesor, and even Hilda Martlett, were interested in their husbands, and Miss Bawtrey, of course, interested in everything. As for Maude Ughtred, all talk would be the same to her; she was always week-ending. Stanley need not worry—it would be all right; some real work would get done, some real advance be made. So saying, she turned her fine shoulders twice, once this way and once that, and went out. She had never told even Stanley her ambition that at Becket, under her aegis, should be laid the foundation-stone of the real scheme, whatever it might be, that should regenerate 'the Land.' Stanley would only have laughed; even though it would be bound to make him Lord Freeland when it came to be known some day....

Lady Fanfar again, and Mrs. Sleesor, and even Hilda Martlett were all focused on their husbands, while Miss Bawtrey, of course, was interested in everything. As for Maude Ughtred, all conversations would sound the same to her; she was always on a weekend trip. Stanley didn’t need to worry—it would all work out; some real progress would be made, some genuine work would get done. With that, she turned her graceful shoulders twice, once this way and once that, and left. She had never shared her ambition, even with Stanley, that at Becket, under her guidance, the foundation stone for the true plan—whatever it might be—that would transform 'the Land' should be laid. Stanley would only have laughed; even though, eventually, it would likely lead to him becoming Lord Freeland when it was discovered someday....

To the eyes and ears of Nedda that evening at dinner, all was new indeed, and all wonderful. It was not that she was unaccustomed to society or to conversation, for to their house at Hampstead many people came, uttering many words, but both the people and the words were so very different. After the first blush, the first reconnaissance of the two Bigwigs between whom she sat, her eyes WOULD stray and her ears would only half listen to them. Indeed, half her ears, she soon found out, were quite enough to deal with Colonel Martlett and Sir John Fanfar. Across the azaleas she let her glance come now and again to anchor on her father's face, and exchanged with him a most enjoyable blink. She tried once or twice to get through to Alan, but he was always eating; he looked very like a young Uncle Stanley this evening.

To Nedda's eyes and ears that evening at dinner, everything felt fresh and amazing. It wasn’t that she was new to socializing or conversation; their house in Hampstead always had guests who chatted a lot. But the people and the conversations were completely different. After the initial moment of surprise, the first look at the two important figures sitting beside her, her gaze would wander and her attention would only half-listen to them. In fact, she soon realized that half of her attention was more than enough to handle Colonel Martlett and Sir John Fanfar. She let her glance drift over the azaleas to her father's face now and then, sharing a fun little blink with him. She tried a couple of times to reach out to Alan, but he was always busy eating; he looked a lot like a young Uncle Stanley that evening.

What was she feeling? Short, quick stabs of self-consciousness as to how she was looking; a sort of stunned excitement due to sheer noise and the number of things offered to her to eat and drink; keen pleasure in the consciousness that Colonel Martlett and Sir John Fanfar and other men, especially that nice one with the straggly moustache who looked as if he were going to bite, glanced at her when they saw she wasn't looking. If only she had been quite certain that it was not because they thought her too young to be there! She felt a sort of continual exhilaration, that this was the great world—the world where important things were said and done, together with an intense listening expectancy, and a sense most unexpected and almost frightening, that nothing important was being said or would be done. But this she knew to be impudent. On Sunday evenings at home people talked about a future existence, about Nietzsche, Tolstoy, Chinese pictures, post-impressionism, and would suddenly grow hot and furious about peace, and Strauss, justice, marriage, and De Maupassant, and whether people were losing their souls through materialism, and sometimes one of them would get up and walk about the room. But to-night the only words she could catch were the names of two politicians whom nobody seemed to approve of, except that nice one who was going to bite. Once very timidly she asked Colonel Martlett whether he liked Strauss, and was puzzled by his answer: “Rather; those 'Tales of Hoffmann' are rippin', don't you think? You go to the opera much?” She could not, of course, know that the thought which instantly rose within her was doing the governing classes a grave injustice—almost all of whom save Colonel Martlett knew that the 'Tales of Hoffmann' were by one Offenbach. But beyond all things she felt she would never, never learn to talk as they were all talking—so quickly, so continuously, so without caring whether everybody or only the person they were talking to heard what they said. She had always felt that what you said was only meant for the person you said it to, but here in the great world she must evidently not say anything that was not meant for everybody, and she felt terribly that she could not think of anything of that sort to say. And suddenly she began to want to be alone. That, however, was surely wicked and wasteful, when she ought to be learning such a tremendous lot; and yet, what was there to learn? And listening just sufficiently to Colonel Martlett, who was telling her how great a man he thought a certain general, she looked almost despairingly at the one who was going to bite. He was quite silent at that moment, gazing at his plate, which was strangely empty. And Nedda thought: 'He has jolly wrinkles about his eyes, only they might be heart disease; and I like the color of his face, so nice and yellow, only that might be liver. But I DO like him—I wish I'd been sitting next to him; he looks real.' From that thought, of the reality of a man whose name she did not know, she passed suddenly into the feeling that nothing else of this about her was real at all, neither the talk nor the faces, not even the things she was eating. It was all a queer, buzzing dream. Nor did that sensation of unreality cease when her aunt began collecting her gloves, and they trooped forth to the drawing-room. There, seated between Mrs. Sleesor and Lady Britto, with Lady Malloring opposite, and Miss Bawtrey leaning over the piano toward them, she pinched herself to get rid of the feeling that, when all these were out of sight of each other, they would become silent and have on their lips a little, bitter smile. Would it be like that up in their bedrooms, or would it only be on her (Nedda's) own lips that this little smile would come? It was a question she could not answer; nor could she very well ask it of any of these ladies. She looked them over as they sat there talking and felt very lonely. And suddenly her eyes fell on her grandmother. Frances Freeland was seated halfway down the long room in a sandalwood chair, somewhat insulated by a surrounding sea of polished floor. She sat with a smile on her lips, quite still, save for the continual movement of her white hands on her black lap. To her gray hair some lace of Chantilly was pinned with a little diamond brooch, and hung behind her delicate but rather long ears. And from her shoulders was depended a silvery garment, of stuff that looked like the mail shirt of a fairy, reaching the ground on either side. A tacit agreement had evidently been come to, that she was incapable of discussing 'the Land' or those other subjects such as the French murder, the Russian opera, the Chinese pictures, and the doings of one, L—— , whose fate was just then in the air, so that she sat alone.

What was she feeling? Quick flashes of self-consciousness about how she looked; a kind of stunned excitement from all the noise and the variety of food and drinks available; a keen pleasure in realizing that Colonel Martlett, Sir John Fanfar, and the other men—especially that nice one with the scraggly mustache who looked like he might bite—were glancing at her when they thought she wasn't paying attention. If only she could be sure it wasn't because they thought she was too young to be there! She experienced a continuous thrill, sensing that this was the real world—the place where important things were said and done—mixed with intense anticipation and a surprising, almost frightening awareness that nothing important was actually happening. But she recognized that feeling as rather rude. On Sunday evenings at home, people discussed future life, Nietzsche, Tolstoy, Chinese art, post-impressionism, and would suddenly get heated about peace, Strauss, justice, marriage, and De Maupassant, sometimes even getting up to walk around the room. But tonight, the only words she could catch were the names of two politicians nobody seemed to like, except for that nice one who might bite. Very timidly, she once asked Colonel Martlett if he liked Strauss, and was puzzled by his reply: “Sure; those 'Tales of Hoffmann' are great, don’t you think? Do you go to the opera a lot?” She couldn't possibly know that the thought bubbling up inside her was unfair to the governing classes—almost all of whom, except Colonel Martlett, knew that the 'Tales of Hoffmann' were actually by Offenbach. Yet above all, she felt she would never learn to talk like they did—so quickly, so continuously, without worrying whether everyone or just the person they were speaking to was hearing them. She had always thought that what you said was only meant for the person you were talking to, but here in the real world, it was clear she shouldn’t say anything that wasn’t meant for everyone, and she felt a crushing sense of failure because she couldn’t think of anything like that to say. Suddenly, she started to long for solitude. But that felt wrong and wasteful when she should be soaking up so much. Still, what was there to even learn? While listening just enough to Colonel Martlett, who was sharing his admiration for a certain general, she looked almost hopelessly at the nice man who looked like he might bite. He was completely silent at that moment, staring at his plate, which was strangely empty. Nedda thought, 'He has nice wrinkles around his eyes, but they could mean he has heart issues; and I like the color of his face, so nice and yellow, but that might be a sign of liver problems. But I DO like him—I wish I had been sitting next to him; he seems genuine.' From that thought about the reality of a man whose name she didn’t know, she suddenly felt that nothing else around her was real—neither the conversations nor the faces, not even the food she was eating. It all felt like a strange, buzzing dream. The sense of unreality didn’t fade when her aunt started gathering her gloves, and they all moved to the drawing-room. There, sitting between Mrs. Sleesor and Lady Britto, with Lady Malloring across from her and Miss Bawtrey leaning over the piano towards them, she pinched herself to shake off the feeling that when these people were out of sight, they would grow quiet and wear a little bitter smile. Would it be like that in their bedrooms, or only on her (Nedda’s) lips would that little smile appear? It was a question she couldn’t answer, nor could she really ask any of these ladies about it. She studied them as they talked and felt very alone. Then suddenly, her eyes fell on her grandmother. Frances Freeland was sitting halfway down the long room in a sandalwood chair, somewhat isolated by a surrounding sea of polished floor. She had a smile on her lips, remaining quite still, except for the constant movement of her white hands on her black lap. A piece of Chantilly lace was pinned into her gray hair with a small diamond brooch, hanging behind her delicate, slightly long ears. Draped over her shoulders was a silvery garment that looked like a fairy’s mail shirt, reaching the ground on either side. It seemed that everyone had implicitly agreed she was not to discuss 'the Land' or other topics like the French murder, the Russian opera, the Chinese art, and the situation involving one L——, whose fate was currently uncertain, so she sat alone.

And Nedda thought: 'How much more of a lady she looks than anybody here! There's something deep in her to rest on that isn't in the Bigwigs; perhaps it's because she's of a different generation.' And, getting up, she went over and sat down beside her on a little chair.

And Nedda thought, "She looks so much more refined than anyone here! There's something profound about her that the Bigwigs lack; maybe it's because she's from a different generation." Then, getting up, she walked over and sat down next to her on a small chair.

Frances Freeland rose at once and said:

Frances Freeland immediately stood up and said:

“Now, my darling, you can't be comfortable in that tiny chair. You must take mine.”

“Now, my dear, you can't be comfortable in that small chair. You have to take mine.”

“Oh, no, Granny; please!”

“Oh no, Granny; please!”

“Oh, yes; but you must! It's so comfortable, and I've simply been longing to sit in the chair you're in. Now, darling, to please me!”

“Oh, yes; but you have to! It’s so cozy, and I’ve really been wanting to sit in the chair you’re in. Now, babe, just to make me happy!”

Seeing that a prolonged struggle would follow if she did not get up, Nedda rose and changed chairs.

Seeing that a long struggle would happen if she didn’t get up, Nedda got up and switched chairs.

“Do you like these week-ends, Granny?”

“Do you enjoy these weekends, Grandma?”

Frances Freeland seemed to draw her smile more resolutely across her face. With her perfect articulation, in which there was, however, no trace of bigwiggery, she answered:

Frances Freeland appeared to stretch her smile more confidently across her face. With her flawless speech, which carried no hint of pretentiousness, she replied:

“I think they're most interesting, darling. It's so nice to see new people. Of course you don't get to know them, but it's very amusing to watch, especially the head-dresses!” And sinking her voice: “Just look at that one with the feather going straight up; did you ever see such a guy?” and she cackled with a very gentle archness. Gazing at that almost priceless feather, trying to reach God, Nedda felt suddenly how completely she was in her grandmother's little camp; how entirely she disliked bigwiggery.

“I think they’re so interesting, babe. It’s really nice to see new people. Of course, you don’t really get to know them, but it’s pretty amusing to watch, especially the hats!” And lowering her voice: “Just look at that one with the feather sticking straight up; have you ever seen such a guy?” She laughed with a gentle slyness. Staring at that almost priceless feather, reaching for the sky, Nedda suddenly felt how completely she was in her grandmother’s little camp; how much she really disliked pretentiousness.

Frances Freeland's voice brought her round.

Frances Freeland's voice woke her up.

“Do you know, darling, I've found the most splendid thing for eyebrows? You just put a little on every night and it keeps them in perfect order. I must give you my little pot.”

“Do you know, sweetheart, I've found the most amazing thing for eyebrows? You just apply a little every night, and it keeps them looking perfect. I have to give you my little pot.”

“I don't like grease, Granny.”

"I don't like grease, Grandma."

“Oh! but this isn't grease, darling. It's a special thing; and you only put on just the tiniest touch.”

“Oh! But this isn't grease, darling. It's something special; and you only put on the smallest amount.”

Diving suddenly into the recesses of something, she produced an exiguous round silver box. Prizing it open, she looked over her shoulder at the Bigwigs, then placed her little finger on the contents of the little box, and said very softly:

Diving suddenly into the depths of something, she pulled out a tiny round silver box. Carefully opening it, she glanced over her shoulder at the Bigwigs, then placed her little finger on the contents of the small box and said very softly:

“You just take the merest touch, and you put it on like that, and it keeps them together beautifully. Let me! Nobody'll see!”

“You just need the slightest touch, and you apply it like this, and it holds them together perfectly. Let me! No one will notice!”

Quite well understanding that this was all part of her grandmother's passion for putting the best face upon things, and having no belief in her eyebrows, Nedda bent forward; but in a sudden flutter of fear lest the Bigwigs might observe the operation, she drew back, murmuring: “Oh, Granny, darling! Not just now!”

Quite aware that this was all part of her grandmother's knack for putting on a brave face, and not really believing in her eyebrows, Nedda leaned in; but in a sudden rush of fear that the important people might notice what she was doing, she pulled back, murmuring: “Oh, Granny, darling! Not right now!”

At that moment the men came in, and, under cover of the necessary confusion, she slipped away into the window.

At that moment, the men entered, and, amidst the commotion, she quietly slipped out through the window.

It was pitch-black outside, with the moon not yet up. The bloomy, peaceful dark out there! Wistaria and early roses, clustering in, had but the ghost of color on their blossoms. Nedda took a rose in her fingers, feeling with delight its soft fragility, its coolness against her hot palm. Here in her hand was a living thing, here was a little soul! And out there in the darkness were millions upon millions of other little souls, of little flame-like or coiled-up shapes alive and true.

It was completely dark outside, with the moon still not visible. The blooming, peaceful night out there! Wisteria and early roses, huddled together, had only a hint of color in their petals. Nedda picked up a rose, savoring its delicate softness, its coolness against her warm palm. Here in her hand was a living thing, here was a little soul! And out there in the darkness were millions of other little souls, each like tiny flames or curled-up shapes, alive and real.

A voice behind her said:

A voice came from behind her:

“Nothing nicer than darkness, is there?”

“Is there anything nicer than darkness?”

She knew at once it was the one who was going to bite; the voice was proper for him, having a nice, smothery sound. And looking round gratefully, she said:

She realized immediately that it was the one who was about to bite; the voice suited him, having a nice, smooth sound. And looking around appreciatively, she said:

“Do you like dinner-parties?”

"Do you like dinner parties?"

It was jolly to watch his eyes twinkle and his thin cheeks puff out. He shook his head and muttered through that straggly moustache:

It was delightful to see his eyes sparkle and his thin cheeks inflate. He shook his head and mumbled through that scraggly mustache:

“You're a niece, aren't you? I know your father. He's a big man.”

“Are you a niece? I know your dad. He’s a big deal.”

Hearing those words spoken of her father, Nedda flushed.

Hearing those words about her father, Nedda blushed.

“Yes, he is,” she said fervently.

“Yes, he is,” she said passionately.

Her new acquaintance went on:

Her new friend continued:

“He's got the gift of truth—can laugh at himself as well as others; that's what makes him precious. These humming-birds here to-night couldn't raise a smile at their own tomfoolery to save their silly souls.”

“He's got the gift of honesty—can laugh at himself as well as at others; that's what makes him special. These hummingbirds here tonight couldn't find a way to smile at their own foolishness to save their silly souls.”

He spoke still in that voice of smothery wrath, and Nedda thought: 'He IS nice!'

He still spoke in that voice of suffocating anger, and Nedda thought, 'He IS nice!'

“They've been talking about 'the Land'”—he raised his hands and ran them through his palish hair—“'the Land!' Heavenly Father! 'The Land!' Why! Look at that fellow!”

“They've been talking about 'the Land'”—he raised his hands and ran them through his light-colored hair—“'the Land!' Oh my God! 'The Land!' Seriously! Look at that guy!”

Nedda looked and saw a man, like Richard Coeur de Lion in the history books, with a straw-colored moustache just going gray.

Nedda looked and saw a man, like Richard the Lionheart in the history books, with a straw-colored mustache that was just starting to go gray.

“Sir Gerald Malloring—hope he's not a friend of yours! Divine right of landowners to lead 'the Land' by the nose! And our friend Britto!”

“Sir Gerald Malloring—hope he’s not one of your friends! The divine right of landowners to manipulate 'the Land' at will! And our buddy Britto!”

Nedda, following his eyes, saw a robust, quick-eyed man with a suave insolence in his dark, clean-shaved face.

Nedda, following his gaze, saw a strong, sharp-eyed man with a smooth arrogance in his dark, clean-shaven face.

“Because at heart he's just a supercilious ruffian, too cold-blooded to feel, he'll demonstrate that it's no use to feel—waste of valuable time—ha! valuable!—to act in any direction. And that's a man they believe things of. And poor Henry Wiltram, with his pathetic: 'Grow our own food—maximum use of the land as food-producer, and let the rest take care of itself!' As if we weren't all long past that feeble individualism; as if in these days of world markets the land didn't stand or fall in this country as a breeding-ground of health and stamina and nothing else. Well, well!”

“Because deep down, he's just an arrogant troublemaker, too heartless to feel anything, he’ll prove that feeling is pointless—a waste of precious time—ha! Precious!—to take any action at all. And that’s the kind of person they have high opinions of. Meanwhile, poor Henry Wiltram, with his sad: ‘Let’s grow our own food—maximize the land as a food producer, and let everything else sort itself out!’ As if we weren’t way past that weak individualism; as if in these times of global markets the land didn’t matter in this country as a source of health and strength and nothing more. Well, well!”

“Aren't they really in earnest, then?” asked Nedda timidly.

“Aren't they serious about it, then?” asked Nedda shyly.

“Miss Freeland, this land question is a perfect tragedy. Bar one or two, they all want to make the omelette without breaking eggs; well, by the time they begin to think of breaking them, mark me—there'll be no eggs to break. We shall be all park and suburb. The real men on the land, what few are left, are dumb and helpless; and these fellows here for one reason or another don't mean business—they'll talk and tinker and top-dress—that's all. Does your father take any interest in this? He could write something very nice.”

“Miss Freeland, this land issue is a total disaster. With the exception of a couple of them, everyone wants to create a solution without making any sacrifices; by the time they actually consider making those sacrifices, trust me—there won't be anything left to sacrifice. We’ll end up with nothing but parks and suburbs. The true landowners, what few are left, are silent and powerless; and these guys here for one reason or another aren’t serious—they’ll just talk, tinker, and put on a facade—that’s all. Does your father care about this? He could write something really great.”

“He takes interest in everything,” said Nedda. “Please go on, Mr.—Mr.—” She was terribly afraid he would suddenly remember that she was too young and stop his nice, angry talk.

“He's interested in everything,” said Nedda. “Please continue, Mr.—Mr.—” She was really worried he would suddenly remember that she was too young and stop his great, passionate rant.

“Cuthcott. I'm an editor, but I was brought up on a farm, and know something about it. You see, we English are grumblers, snobs to the backbone, want to be something better than we are; and education nowadays is all in the direction of despising what is quiet and humdrum. We never were a stay-at-home lot, like the French. That's at the back of this business—they may treat it as they like, Radicals or Tories, but if they can't get a fundamental change of opinion into the national mind as to what is a sane and profitable life; if they can't work a revolution in the spirit of our education, they'll do no good. There'll be lots of talk and tinkering, tariffs and tommy-rot, and, underneath, the land-bred men dying, dying all the time. No, madam, industrialism and vested interests have got us! Bar the most strenuous national heroism, there's nothing for it now but the garden city!”

“Cuthcott. I'm an editor, but I grew up on a farm and know a bit about it. You see, we English tend to complain, are snobbish to our core, and always want to be something better than we are; and education today seems focused on looking down on what is quiet and ordinary. We were never homebodies like the French. That's at the heart of this issue—no matter how the Radicals or Tories handle it, if they can't shift the national mindset about what constitutes a sane and rewarding life; if they can't spark a revolution in our educational values, they won't achieve anything significant. There will be plenty of talk and superficial fixes, tariffs and nonsense, while, beneath it all, the people who work the land are suffering, suffering all the time. No, ma'am, industrialism and established interests have ensnared us! Aside from the most extraordinary national heroism, there's nothing left to do but embrace the garden city!”

“Then if we WERE all heroic, 'the Land' could still be saved?”

“Then if we were all heroic, 'the Land' could still be saved?”

Mr. Cuthcott smiled.

Mr. Cuthcott smiled.

“Of course we might have a European war or something that would shake everything up. But, short of that, when was a country ever consciously and homogeneously heroic—except China with its opium? When did it ever deliberately change the spirit of its education, the trend of its ideas; when did it ever, of its own free will, lay its vested interests on the altar; when did it ever say with a convinced and resolute heart: 'I will be healthy and simple before anything. I will not let the love of sanity and natural conditions die out of me!' When, Miss Freeland, when?”

“Of course, we might have a European war or something that would shake everything up. But aside from that, when has a country ever been fully and intentionally heroic—except for China with its opium? When has it ever purposefully changed the way it educates, the direction of its ideas; when has it ever willingly sacrificed its vested interests for a greater cause; when has it ever declared with a convinced and determined heart: 'I will prioritize health and simplicity above all else. I won’t let the love for sanity and natural conditions fade away!' When, Miss Freeland, when?”

And, looking so hard at Nedda that he almost winked, he added:

And, staring at Nedda so intensely that he nearly blinked, he added:

“You have the advantage of me by thirty years. You'll see what I shall not—the last of the English peasant. Did you ever read 'Erewhon,' where the people broke up their machines? It will take almost that sort of national heroism to save what's left of him, even.”

“You have thirty years on me. You'll witness what I won’t—the final days of the English peasant. Did you ever read 'Erewhon,' where the people dismantled their machines? It'll require that kind of national heroism to preserve what's left of him, even.”

For answer, Nedda wrinkled her brows horribly. Before her there had come a vision of the old, lame man, whose name she had found out was Gaunt, standing on the path under the apple-trees, looking at that little something he had taken from his pocket. Why she thought of him thus suddenly she had no idea, and she said quickly:

For an answer, Nedda frowned deeply. In front of her, she envisioned the old, limping man, whose name she had learned was Gaunt, standing on the path beneath the apple trees, examining a small item he had pulled from his pocket. She had no clue why he came to her mind so suddenly, and she quickly said:

“It's awfully interesting. I do so want to hear about 'the Land.' I only know a little about sweated workers, because I see something of them.”

“It's really interesting. I definitely want to hear about 'the Land.' I only know a little about exploited workers because I've seen a bit of their situation.”

“It's all of a piece,” said Mr. Cuthcott; “not politics at all, but religion—touches the point of national self-knowledge and faith, the point of knowing what we want to become and of resolving to become it. Your father will tell you that we have no more idea of that at present than a cat of its own chemical composition. As for these good people here to-night—I don't want to be disrespectful, but if they think they're within a hundred miles of the land question, I'm a—I'm a Jingo—more I can't say.”

“It's all connected,” said Mr. Cuthcott; “it's not about politics at all, but about religion—touching on national self-awareness and belief, the need to understand what we want to become and to commit to it. Your father will tell you that we have no better idea of that right now than a cat does of its own chemical makeup. As for these good folks here tonight—I don't want to be disrespectful, but if they think they're anywhere near understanding the land question, I'm a—I'm a Jingo—there's nothing more I can say.”

And, as if to cool his head, he leaned out of the window.

And, as if to cool off, he leaned out of the window.

“Nothing is nicer than darkness, as I said just now, because you can only see the way you MUST go instead of a hundred and fifty ways you MIGHT. In darkness your soul is something like your own; in daylight, lamplight, moonlight, never.”

“Nothing is better than darkness, as I just mentioned, because you can only see the path you MUST take instead of a hundred and fifty paths you MIGHT take. In darkness, your soul feels more like your own; in daylight, lamplight, or moonlight, it never does.”

Nedda's spirit gave a jump; he seemed almost at last to be going to talk about the things she wanted, above all, to find out. Her cheeks went hot, she clenched her hands and said resolutely:

Nedda's spirit leaped; it finally seemed like he was going to discuss the things she really wanted to know. Her cheeks flushed, she clenched her hands, and said firmly:

“Mr. Cuthcott, do you believe in God?”

“Mr. Cuthcott, do you believe in God?”

Mr. Cuthcott made a queer, deep little noise; it was not a laugh, however, and it seemed as if he knew she could not bear him to look at her just then.

Mr. Cuthcott made a strange, low noise; it wasn’t a laugh, though, and it seemed like he knew she couldn’t stand for him to look at her at that moment.

“H'm!” he said. “Every one does that—according to their natures. Some call God IT, some HIM, some HER, nowadays—that's all. You might as well ask—do I believe that I'm alive?”

“Hmm!” he said. “Everyone does that—based on who they are. Some refer to God as IT, some as HIM, some as HER these days—that's all. You might as well ask—do I believe that I’m alive?”

“Yes,” said Nedda, “but which do YOU call God?”

“Yes,” said Nedda, “but which one do YOU call God?”

As she asked that, he gave a wriggle, and it flashed through her: 'He must think me an awful enfant terrible!' His face peered round at her, queer and pale and puffy, with nice, straight eyes; and she added hastily:

As she asked that, he shifted slightly, and it occurred to her: 'He must think I’m a total brat!' His face peeked around at her, strange and pale and puffy, with nice, straight eyes; and she quickly added:

“It isn't a fair question, is it? Only you talked about darkness, and the only way—so I thought—”

“It isn't a fair question, is it? You were the only one who mentioned darkness, and the only way—I thought—”

“Quite a fair question. My answer is, of course: 'All three'; but the point is rather: Does one wish to make even an attempt to define God to oneself? Frankly, I don't! I'm content to feel that there is in one some kind of instinct toward perfection that one will still feel, I hope, when the lights are going out; some kind of honour forbidding one to let go and give up. That's all I've got; I really don't know that I want more.”

“That's a really good question. My answer is, of course: 'All three'; but the main point is: Does anyone actually want to try to define God for themselves? Honestly, I don't! I'm comfortable feeling that there's some kind of instinct toward perfection within us that I hope we'll still have when the end is near; some sense of honor that keeps us from letting go and giving up. That’s all I have; I truly don't know if I want anything more.”

Nedda clasped her hands.

Nedda held her hands together.

“I like that,” she said; “only—what is perfection, Mr. Cuthcott?”

“I like that,” she said, “but what is perfection, Mr. Cuthcott?”

Again he emitted that deep little sound.

Again, he made that deep little sound.

“Ah!” he repeated, “what is perfection? Awkward, that—isn't it?”

“Ah!” he said again, “what is perfection? That’s kind of awkward, isn’t it?”

“Is it”—Nedda rushed the words out—“is it always to be sacrificing yourself, or is it—is it always to be—to be expressing yourself?”

“Is it”—Nedda hurriedly said—“is it always about sacrificing yourself, or is it—is it always about expressing yourself?”

“To some—one; to some—the other; to some—half one, half the other.”

“To some—one; to some—the other; to some—half one, half the other.”

“But which is it to me?”

“But which one matters to me?”

“Ah! that you've got to find out for yourself. There's a sort of metronome inside us—wonderful, sell-adjusting little machine; most delicate bit of mechanism in the world—people call it conscience—that records the proper beat of our tempos. I guess that's all we have to go by.”

“Ah! you have to discover that on your own. There's a kind of metronome inside us—a remarkable, self-adjusting little machine; the most delicate mechanism in the world—people call it conscience—that keeps track of the right rhythm of our lives. I suppose that's all we can rely on.”

Nedda said breathlessly:

Nedda said, out of breath:

“Yes; and it's frightfully hard, isn't it?”

“Yes; and it's really tough, isn’t it?”

“Exactly,” Mr. Cuthcott answered. “That's why people devised religions and other ways of having the thing done second-hand. We all object to trouble and responsibility if we can possibly avoid it. Where do you live?”

“Exactly,” Mr. Cuthcott replied. “That’s why people created religions and other ways to have things done indirectly. We all try to avoid trouble and responsibility if we can. Where do you live?”

“In Hampstead.”

"In Hampstead."

“Your father must be a stand-by, isn't he?”

“Your dad must be a backup, right?”

“Oh, yes; Dad's splendid; only, you see, I AM a good deal younger than he. There was just one thing I was going to ask you. Are these very Bigwigs?”

“Oh, yes; Dad's great; only, you see, I am quite a bit younger than he is. There was just one thing I wanted to ask you. Are these really Bigwigs?”

Mr. Cuthcott turned to the room and let his screwed-up glance wander. He looked just then particularly as if he were going to bite.

Mr. Cuthcott turned to the room and let his squinted gaze roam. He looked especially like he was about to snap.

“If you take 'em at their own valuation: Yes. If at the country's: So-so. If at mine: Ha! I know what you'd like to ask: Should I be a Bigwig in THEIR estimation? Not I! As you knock about, Miss Freeland, you'll find out one thing—all bigwiggery is founded on: Scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. Seriously, these are only tenpenny ones; but the mischief is, that in the matter of 'the Land,' the men who really are in earnest are precious scarce. Nothing short of a rising such as there was in 1832 would make the land question real, even for the moment. Not that I want to see one—God forbid! Those poor doomed devils were treated worse than dogs, and would be again.”

“If you judge them by their own standards: Yes. By the country’s standards: Sort of. By my standards: Ha! I know what you want to ask: Should I be considered important in THEIR eyes? Not a chance! As you go through life, Miss Freeland, you’ll learn one thing—all big shots operate on the principle: Help me, and I’ll help you. Honestly, these people are just small-time players; but the problem is that when it comes to ‘the Land,’ the ones who are genuinely serious are extremely rare. Nothing less than a revolt like the one in 1832 would make the land issue feel real, even for a moment. Not that I want to see one—God forbid! Those poor souls were treated worse than animals, and they’d be treated that way again.”

Before Nedda could pour out questions about the rising in 1832, Stanley's voice said:

Before Nedda could ask about the uprising in 1832, Stanley's voice interrupted:

“Cuthcott, I want to introduce you!”

“Cuthcott, I want you to meet someone!”

Her new friend screwed his eyes up tighter and, muttering something, put out his hand to her.

Her new friend squinted harder and, mumbling something, reached out his hand to her.

“Thank you for our talk. I hope we shall meet again. Any time you want to know anything—I'll be only too glad. Good night!”

“Thanks for our conversation. I hope we can meet again. Whenever you have questions—I'll be more than happy to help. Good night!”

She felt the squeeze of his hand, warm and dry, but rather soft, as of a man who uses a pen too much; saw him following her uncle across the room, with his shoulders a little hunched, as if preparing to inflict, and ward off, blows. And with the thought: 'He must be jolly when he gives them one!' she turned once more to the darkness, than which he had said there was nothing nicer. It smelled of new-mown grass, was full of little shiverings of leaves, and all colored like the bloom of a black grape. And her heart felt soothed.

She felt his hand squeeze hers, warm and dry, but a bit soft, like a guy who writes with a pen too often; she saw him trailing her uncle across the room, his shoulders slightly hunched, as if bracing himself for some hits and trying to avoid them too. And with the thought, 'He must be fun when he actually throws a punch!' she turned back to the darkness, which he had said was better than anything else. It smelled like fresh-cut grass, was filled with little rustlings of leaves, and was all tinted like dark grape skin. And her heart felt at ease.





CHAPTER IX

“...When I first saw Derek I thought I should never feel anything but shy and hopeless. In four days, only in four days, the whole world is different.... And yet, if it hadn't been for that thunder-storm, I shouldn't have got over being shy in time. He has never loved anybody—nor have I. It can't often be like that—it makes it solemn. There's a picture somewhere—not a good one, I know—of a young Highlander being taken away by soldiers from his sweetheart. Derek is fiery and wild and shy and proud and dark—like the man in that picture. That last day along the hills—along and along—with the wind in our faces, I could have walked forever; and then Joyfields at the end! Their mother's wonderful; I'm afraid of her. But Uncle Tod is a perfect dear. I never saw any one before who noticed so many things that I didn't, and nothing that I did. I am sure he has in him what Mr. Cuthcott said we were all losing—the love of simple, natural conditions. And then, THE moment, when I stood with Derek at the end of the orchard, to say good-by. The field below covered with those moony-white flowers, and the cows all dark and sleepy; the holy feeling down there was wonderful, and in the branches over our heads, too, and the velvety, starry sky, and the dewiness against one's face, and the great, broad silence—it was all worshipping something, and I was worshipping—worshipping happiness. I WAS happy, and I think HE was. Perhaps I shall never be so happy again. When he kissed me I didn't think the whole world had so much happiness in it. I know now that I'm not cold a bit; I used to think I was. I believe I could go with him anywhere, and do anything he wanted. What would Dad think? Only the other day I was saying I wanted to know everything. One only knows through love. It's love that makes the world all beautiful—makes it like those pictures that seem to be wrapped in gold, makes it like a dream—no, not like a dream—like a wonderful tune. I suppose that's glamour—a goldeny, misty, lovely feeling, as if my soul were wandering about with his—not in my body at all. I want it to go on and on wandering—oh! I don't want it back in my body, all hard and inquisitive and aching! I shall never know anything so lovely as loving him and being loved. I don't want anything more—nothing! Stay with me, please—Happiness! Don't go away and leave me!... They frighten me, though; he frightens me—their idealism; wanting to do great things, and fight for justice. If only I'd been brought up more like that—but everything's been so different. It's their mother, I think, even more than themselves. I seem to have grown up just looking on at life as at a show; watching it, thinking about it, trying to understand—not living it at all. I must get over that; I will. I believe I can tell the very moment I began to love him. It was in the schoolroom the second evening. Sheila and I were sitting there just before dinner, and he came, in a rage, looking splendid. 'That footman put out everything just as if I were a baby—asked me for suspenders to fasten on my socks; hung the things on a chair in order, as if I couldn't find out for myself what to put on first; turned the tongues of my shoes out!—curled them over!' Then Derek looked at me and said: 'Do they do that for you?—And poor old Gaunt, who's sixty-six and lame, has three shillings a week to buy him everything. Just think of that! If we had the pluck of flies—' And he clenched his fists. But Sheila got up, looked hard at me, and said: 'That'll do, Derek.' Then he put his hand on my arm and said: 'It's only Cousin Nedda!' I began to love him then; and I believe he saw it, because I couldn't take my eyes away. But it was when Sheila sang 'The Red Sarafan,' after dinner, that I knew for certain. 'The Red Sarafan'—it's a wonderful song, all space and yearning, and yet such calm—it's the song of the soul; and he was looking at me while she sang. How can he love me? I am nothing—no good for anything! Alan calls him a 'run-up kid, all legs and wings.' Sometimes I hate Alan; he's conventional and stodgy—the funny thing is that he admires Sheila. She'll wake him up; she'll stick pins into him. No, I don't want Alan hurt—I want every one in the world to be happy, happy—as I am.... The next day was the thunder-storm. I never saw lightning so near—and didn't care a bit. If he were struck I knew I should be; that made it all right. When you love, you don't care, if only the something must happen to you both. When it was over, and we came out from behind the stack and walked home through the fields, all the beasts looked at us as if we were new and had never been seen before; and the air was ever so sweet, and that long, red line of cloud low down in the purple, and the elm-trees so heavy and almost black. He put his arm round me, and I let him.... It seems an age to wait till they come to stay with us next week. If only Mother likes them, and I can go and stay at Joyfields. Will she like them? It's all so different to what it would be if they were ordinary. But if he were ordinary I shouldn't love him; it's because there's nobody like him. That isn't a loverish fancy—you only have to look at him against Alan or Uncle Stanley or even Dad. Everything he does is so different; the way he walks, and the way he stands drawn back into himself, like a stag, and looks out as if he were burning and smouldering inside; even the way he smiles. Dad asked me what I thought of him! That was only the second day. I thought he was too proud, then. And Dad said: 'He ought to be in a Highland regiment; pity—great pity!' He is a fighter, of course. I don't like fighting, but if I'm not ready to, he'll stop loving me, perhaps. I've got to learn. O Darkness out there, help me! And Stars, help me! O God, make me brave, and I will believe in you forever! If you are the spirit that grows in things in spite of everything, until they're like the flowers, so perfect that we laugh and sing at their beauty, grow in me, too; make me beautiful and brave; then I shall be fit for him, alive or dead; and that's all I want. Every evening I shall stand in spirit with him at the end of that orchard in the darkness, under the trees above the white flowers and the sleepy cows, and perhaps I shall feel him kiss me again.... I'm glad I saw that old man Gaunt; it makes what they feel more real to me. He showed me that poor laborer Tryst, too, the one who mustn't marry his wife's sister, or have her staying in the house without marrying her. Why should people interfere with others like that? It does make your blood boil! Derek and Sheila have been brought up to be in sympathy with the poor and oppressed. If they had lived in London they would have been even more furious, I expect. And it's no use my saying to myself 'I don't know the laborer, I don't know his hardships,' because he is really just the country half of what I do know and see, here in London, when I don't hide my eyes. One talk showed me how desperately they feel; at night, in Sheila's room, when we had gone up, just we four. Alan began it; they didn't want to, I could see; but he was criticising what some of those Bigwigs had said—the 'Varsity makes boys awfully conceited. It was such a lovely night; we were all in the big, long window. A little bat kept flying past; and behind the copper-beech the moon was shining on the lake. Derek sat in the windowsill, and when he moved he touched me. To be touched by him gives me a warm shiver all through. I could hear him gritting his teeth at what Alan said—frightfully sententious, just like a newspaper: 'We can't go into land reform from feeling, we must go into it from reason.' Then Derek broke out: 'Walk through this country as we've walked; see the pigsties the people live in; see the water they drink; see the tiny patches of ground they have; see the way their roofs let in the rain; see their peeky children; see their patience and their hopelessness; see them working day in and day out, and coming on the parish at the end! See all that, and then talk about reason! Reason! It's the coward's excuse, and the rich man's excuse, for doing nothing. It's the excuse of the man who takes jolly good care not to see for fear that he may come to feel! Reason never does anything, it's too reasonable. The thing is to act; then perhaps reason will be jolted into doing something.' But Sheila touched his arm, and he stopped very suddenly. She doesn't trust us. I shall always be being pushed away from him by her. He's just twenty, and I shall be eighteen in a week; couldn't we marry now at once? Then, whatever happened, I couldn't be cut off from him. If I could tell Dad, and ask him to help me! But I can't—it seems desecration to talk about it, even to Dad. All the way up in the train to-day, coming back home, I was struggling not to show anything; though it's hateful to keep things from Dad. Love alters everything; it melts up the whole world and makes it afresh. Love is the sun of our spirits, and it's the wind. Ah, and the rain, too! But I won't think of that!... I wonder if he's told Aunt Kirsteen!...”

“...When I first saw Derek, I thought I would always just feel shy and hopeless. In just four days, everything changed. And yet, if it hadn’t been for that thunderstorm, I wouldn’t have gotten over my shyness in time. He has never loved anyone—neither have I. It can't be like that very often—it makes it serious. There’s a picture somewhere—not a great one, I know—of a young Highlander being taken away by soldiers from his sweetheart. Derek is passionate and wild, shy and proud, and dark—like the man in that picture. That last day walking along the hills—with the wind in our faces—I could have walked forever; and then Joyfields at the end! Their mother is amazing; I’m a little scared of her. But Uncle Tod is just lovely. I’ve never met anyone before who noticed so many things I didn’t, and nothing that I did. I’m sure he has what Mr. Cuthcott said we were all losing—the love of simple, natural things. And then, THE moment, when I stood with Derek at the end of the orchard to say goodbye. The field below was covered with those moony-white flowers, and the cows all dark and sleepy; the sacred feeling down there was incredible, and in the branches over our heads, too, and the velvety, starry sky, and the dew on my face, and the deep, broad silence—it all felt like worship, and I was worshipping—worshipping happiness. I WAS happy, and I think HE was too. Maybe I’ll never be that happy again. When he kissed me, I didn’t think the whole world could hold so much happiness. I know now that I’m not cold at all; I used to think I was. I believe I could go anywhere with him and do anything he wanted. What would Dad think? Just the other day, I was saying I wanted to know everything. You only know through love. It’s love that makes the world beautiful—makes it look like those pictures wrapped in gold, makes it feel like a dream—no, not like a dream—like a wonderful song. I guess that’s glamour—a golden, misty, lovely feeling, as if my soul were wandering with his—not in my body at all. I want it to keep wandering—oh! I don’t want it back in my body, all hard and curious and aching! I’ll never know anything as lovely as loving him and being loved. I don’t want anything more—nothing! Stay with me, please—Happiness! Don’t go away and leave me!... They scare me, though; he scares me—their idealism; wanting to do great things and fight for justice. If only I’d been raised more like that—but everything's been so different. I think it’s their mother, even more than them. I feel like I’ve grown up just watching life happen like a show; observing it, thinking about it, trying to understand—not living it at all. I must get over that; I will. I believe I can pinpoint the very moment I started to love him. It was in the classroom on the second evening. Sheila and I were sitting there just before dinner when he came in, furious, looking magnificent. 'That footman laid everything out as if I were a baby—asked me for suspenders to hold up my socks; organized my clothes on a chair as if I couldn’t figure out what to put on first; even turned my shoelaces out!—curled them over!' Then Derek looked at me and said: 'Do they do that for you?—And poor old Gaunt, who's sixty-six and lame, has three shillings a week to buy everything he needs. Just think of that! If we had the guts of flies—' And he clenched his fists. But Sheila got up, looked at me sternly, and said: 'That's enough, Derek.' Then he put his hand on my arm and said: 'It's just Cousin Nedda!' That’s when I started to love him; and I think he noticed because I couldn’t take my eyes off him. But it was when Sheila sang 'The Red Sarafan' after dinner that I was sure. 'The Red Sarafan'—it’s a beautiful song, full of space and longing, yet so calm—it’s the song of the soul; and he was looking at me the whole time she sang. How can he love me? I’m nothing—no good for anything! Alan calls him a 'run-up kid, all legs and wings.' Sometimes I hate Alan; he’s so conventional and dull—the funny thing is he admires Sheila. She’ll wake him up; she’ll jab pins into him. No, I don’t want Alan to get hurt—I want everyone in the world to be happy, happy—as I am.... The next day was the thunderstorm. I’ve never seen lightning so close—and didn’t care at all. If he got struck, I knew I would too; that made it okay. When you love, you don’t care, as long as whatever happens, happens to both of you. When it was over, and we came out from behind the stack and walked home through the fields, all the animals looked at us as if we were new and had never been seen before; and the air was so sweet, and that long, red line of cloud low in the purple sky, and the elm trees so heavy and nearly black. He put his arm around me, and I let him.... It feels like forever until they come to stay with us next week. I hope Mother likes them, and I can go stay at Joyfields. Will she like them? It’s all so different from how it would be if they were ordinary. But if he were ordinary, I wouldn’t love him; it’s because there’s nobody like him. That’s not just some romantic notion—you only have to compare him against Alan or Uncle Stanley or even Dad. Everything he does is so distinct; the way he walks, and how he stands all drawn into himself, like a stag, looking out as if he’s burning and smoldering inside; even the way he smiles. Dad asked me what I thought of him! That was only the second day. I thought he was too proud then. And Dad said: 'He ought to be in a Highland regiment; it’s a shame—such a shame!' He’s a fighter, of course. I don’t like fighting, but if I’m not ready, he might stop loving me. I have to learn. O Darkness out there, help me! And Stars, help me! O God, make me brave, and I will believe in you forever! If you are the spirit that thrives in everything despite it all, until they’re like the flowers, so perfect that we laugh and sing at their beauty, grow in me too; make me beautiful and brave; then I’ll be worthy of him, alive or dead; and that’s all I want. Every evening I’ll stand in spirit with him at the end of that orchard in the dark, under the trees above the white flowers and the sleepy cows, and maybe I’ll feel him kiss me again.... I’m glad I saw that old man Gaunt; it makes what they feel more real to me. He showed me that poor laborer Tryst, too, the one who can’t marry his wife’s sister, or have her stay in the house without marrying her. Why should people interfere with others like that? It really makes your blood boil! Derek and Sheila have been raised to care about the poor and oppressed. If they had lived in London, I bet they would have been even angrier. And it’s useless for me to say to myself 'I don’t know the laborer, I don’t know his struggles,' because he’s really just the country side of what I know and see here in London, when I don’t hide my eyes. One conversation showed me how desperate they feel; at night, in Sheila’s room when just the four of us had gone upstairs. Alan started it; they didn’t want to, I could tell; but he was criticizing what some of those Bigwigs had said—the 'Varsity makes boys terribly arrogant. It was a lovely night; we were all in the big, long window. A little bat kept flying by; and behind the copper beech, the moon was shining on the lake. Derek sat in the window sill, and every time he moved, he touched me. Being touched by him gives me a warm shiver all through. I could hear him grinding his teeth at what Alan said—frightfully pompous, just like a newspaper: 'We can’t approach land reform through emotion; we must tackle it through reason.' Then Derek burst out: 'Walk through this country like we have; see the pigsties people live in; see the water they drink; see the tiny patches of land they have; see how their roofs let in the rain; see their sickly children; see their patience and their hopelessness; see them laboring day in and day out, only to come on the parish at the end! See all that, and then talk about reason! Reason! It's the coward’s excuse, and the rich man’s excuse for doing nothing. It’s the excuse of someone who’s careful not to see for fear they might actually feel something! Reason doesn’t do anything; it’s way too reasonable. The point is to act; maybe then reason will get jolted into doing something.' But Sheila touched his arm, and he suddenly stopped. She doesn’t trust us. I feel like I’ll always be pushed away from him by her. He’s just twenty, and I’ll be eighteen in a week; couldn’t we get married now? Then, no matter what happens, I wouldn’t be cut off from him. If I could just tell Dad and ask for his help! But I can’t—it feels wrong to even talk about it, even to Dad. All the way home on the train today, I was trying not to show anything; though it feels awful to keep things from Dad. Love changes everything; it melts the whole world and creates something new. Love is the sun of our spirits, and it’s the wind. Oh, and the rain too! But I won't think about that!... I wonder if he’s told Aunt Kirsteen!...”





CHAPTER X

While Nedda sat, long past midnight, writing her heart out in her little, white, lilac-curtained room of the old house above the Spaniard's Road, Derek, of whom she wrote, was walking along the Malvern hills, hurrying upward in the darkness. The stars were his companions; though he was no poet, having rather the fervid temper of the born swordsman, that expresses itself in physical ecstasies. He had come straight out from a stormy midnight talk with Sheila. What was he doing—had been the burden of her cry—falling in love just at this moment when they wanted all their wits and all their time and strength for this struggle with the Mallorings? It was foolish, it was weak; and with a sweet, soft sort of girl who could be no use. Hotly he had answered: What business was it of hers? As if one fell in love when one wished! She didn't know—her blood didn't run fast enough! Sheila had retorted, “I've more blood in my big toe than Nedda in all her body! A lot of use you'll be, with your heart mooning up in London!” And crouched together on the end of her bed, gazing fixedly up at him through her hair, she had chanted mockingly: “Here we go gathering wool and stars—wool and stars—wool and stars!”

While Nedda sat, long past midnight, pouring her heart out in her small, white room with lilac curtains in the old house above Spaniard's Road, Derek, the one she was writing about, was walking along the Malvern Hills, hurrying upward in the dark. The stars were his company; even though he wasn't a poet and had the fiery temperament of a born warrior, which expressed itself in physical excitement. He had just come from an intense midnight talk with Sheila. The question that had weighed on her was why he was falling in love right now when they needed all their wits, time, and strength for their fight against the Mallorings. It was foolish, it was weak; and with a sweet, gentle girl who couldn’t be of any help. Frustrated, he had snapped back: What did it matter to her? As if anyone could choose when to fall in love! She didn’t understand—her blood didn’t run fast enough! Sheila had shot back, “I have more blood in my big toe than Nedda has in her entire body! You’ll be so useful with your heart dreaming away in London!” And huddled together at the end of her bed, staring up at him through her hair, she had teased, “Here we go gathering wool and stars—wool and stars—wool and stars!”

He had not deigned to answer, but had gone out, furious with her, striding over the dark fields, scrambling his way through the hedges toward the high loom of the hills. Up on the short grass in the cooler air, with nothing between him and those swarming stars, he lost his rage. It never lasted long—hers was more enduring. With the innate lordliness of a brother he already put it down to jealousy. Sheila was hurt that he should want any one but her; as if his love for Nedda would make any difference to their resolution to get justice for Tryst and the Gaunts, and show those landed tyrants once for all that they could not ride roughshod.

He didn’t bother to answer but walked out, furious with her, striding over the dark fields, pushing his way through the hedges toward the looming hills. Up on the short grass in the cooler air, with nothing between him and the countless stars, he let go of his anger. It never lasted long—hers was more persistent. With the natural superiority of a brother, he chalked it up to jealousy. Sheila was upset that he could care for anyone but her; as if his love for Nedda would change their determination to seek justice for Tryst and the Gaunts, and finally show those wealthy tyrants that they couldn’t just do whatever they wanted.

Nedda! with her dark eyes, so quick and clear, so loving when they looked at him! Nedda, soft and innocent, the touch of whose lips had turned his heart to something strange within him, and wakened such feelings of chivalry! Nedda! To see whom for half a minute he felt he would walk a hundred miles.

Nedda! with her dark eyes, so bright and clear, so full of love when she looked at him! Nedda, gentle and pure, the feel of whose lips had transformed his heart into something new within him, and stirred feelings of honor! Nedda! Just to see her for half a minute made him feel like he would walk a hundred miles.

This boy's education had been administered solely by his mother till he was fourteen, and she had brought him up on mathematics, French, and heroism. His extensive reading of history had been focussed on the personality of heroes, chiefly knights errant, and revolutionaries. He had carried the worship of them to the Agricultural College, where he had spent four years; and a rather rough time there had not succeeded in knocking romance out of him. He had found that you could not have such beliefs comfortably without fighting for them, and though he ended his career with the reputation of a rebel and a champion of the weak, he had had to earn it. To this day he still fed himself on stories of rebellions and fine deeds. The figures of Spartacus, Montrose, Hofer, Garibaldi, Hampden, and John Nicholson, were more real to him than the people among whom he lived, though he had learned never to mention—especially not to the matter-of-fact Sheila—his encompassing cloud of heroes; but, when he was alone, he pranced a bit with them, and promised himself that he too would reach the stars. So you may sometimes see a little, grave boy walking through a field, unwatched as he believes, suddenly fling his feet and his head every which way. An active nature, romantic, without being dreamy and book-loving, is not too prone to the attacks of love; such a one is likely to survive unscathed to a maturer age. But Nedda had seduced him, partly by the appeal of her touchingly manifest love and admiration, and chiefly by her eyes, through which he seemed to see such a loyal, and loving little soul looking. She had that indefinable something which lovers know that they can never throw away. And he had at once made of her, secretly, the crown of his active romanticism—the lady waiting for the spoils of his lance. Queer is the heart of a boy—strange its blending of reality and idealism!

This boy's education was managed entirely by his mother until he turned fourteen. She had raised him on math, French, and the idea of heroism. His extensive reading in history focused on the lives of heroes, particularly knights and revolutionaries. He brought that admiration to the Agricultural College, where he spent four years, and even a rough time there couldn't shake his romantic views. He realized you couldn't hold such beliefs without fighting for them, and while he finished his time there known as a rebel and a champion for the weak, he had to earn that reputation. To this day, he still indulged in stories of rebellions and heroic acts. Figures like Spartacus, Montrose, Hofer, Garibaldi, Hampden, and John Nicholson felt more real to him than the people around him, though he learned never to mention—especially to the practical Sheila—his extensive collection of heroes. But when he was alone, he would dance around with them in his mind and promise himself that he too would reach for the stars. So you might sometimes see a serious little boy walking through a field, thinking he's alone, suddenly kicking his feet and tossing his head in every direction. A lively nature, romantic yet grounded and not overly dreamy, isn't usually vulnerable to love; such a boy is likely to come through unscathed into adulthood. But Nedda had captivated him, partly due to her heartfelt love and admiration, and mainly because of her eyes, through which he sensed a loyal, loving soul. She possessed that indescribable quality that lovers know they can never let go of. And he secretly made her the crown of his active romanticism—the lady waiting for the prizes of his bravery. How odd is a boy's heart—its strange mix of reality and idealism!

Climbing at a great pace, he reached Malvern Beacon just as it came dawn, and stood there on the top, watching. He had not much aesthetic sense; but he had enough to be impressed by the slow paling of the stars over space that seemed infinite, so little were its dreamy confines visible in the May morning haze, where the quivering crimson flags and spears of sunrise were forging up in a march upon the sky. That vision of the English land at dawn, wide and mysterious, hardly tallied with Mr. Cuthcott's view of a future dedicate to Park and Garden City. While Derek stood there gazing, the first lark soared up and began its ecstatic praise. Save for that song, silence possessed all the driven dark, right out to the Severn and the sea, and the fastnesses of the Welsh hills, and the Wrekin, away in the north, a black point in the gray. For a moment dark and light hovered and clung together. Would victory wing back into night or on into day? Then, as a town is taken, all was over in one overmastering rush, and light proclaimed. Derek tightened his belt and took a bee-line down over the slippery grass. He meant to reach the cottage of the laborer Tryst before that early bird was away to the fields. He meditated as he went. Bob Tryst was all right! If they only had a dozen or two like him! A dozen or two whom they could trust, and who would trust each other and stand firm to form the nucleus of a strike, which could be timed for hay harvest. What slaves these laborers still were! If only they could be relied on, if only they would stand together! Slavery! It WAS slavery; so long as they could be turned out of their homes at will in this fashion. His rebellion against the conditions of their lives, above all against the manifold petty tyrannies that he knew they underwent, came from use of his eyes and ears in daily contact with a class among whom he had been more or less brought up. In sympathy with, and yet not of them, he had the queer privilege of feeling their slights as if they were his own, together with feelings of protection, and even of contempt that they should let themselves be slighted. He was near enough to understand how they must feel; not near enough to understand why, feeling as they did, they did not act as he would have acted. In truth, he knew them no better than he should.

Climbing quickly, he reached Malvern Beacon just as dawn broke, and stood at the top, watching. He didn’t have a strong appreciation for beauty, but enough to be struck by the fading stars in a seemingly endless space, its dreamy edges barely visible in the May morning haze, where the vibrant red rays of sunrise were pushing their way across the sky. That view of the English landscape at dawn, vast and mysterious, didn't match Mr. Cuthcott's vision of a future filled with parks and garden cities. As Derek stood there, the first lark flew up and began its joyful song. Aside from that melody, silence engulfed the dark, stretching all the way to the Severn and the sea, and the depths of the Welsh hills, and the Wrekin, a dark spot in the gray to the north. For a moment, darkness and light hovered closely together. Would victory retreat into night or move into day? Then, as if a town was taken, it all ended in one overwhelming rush, and light declared itself. Derek tightened his belt and headed straight down the slippery grass. He wanted to reach the laborer Tryst's cottage before that early bird set off for the fields. He reflected as he walked. Bob Tryst was solid! If only they had a dozen or two like him! A dozen or two they could trust, who would trust one another and stand firm to create a core for a strike, timed for the hay harvest. These laborers were still like slaves! If only they could be relied upon, if only they would unite! Slavery! It WAS slavery, as long as they could be thrown out of their homes at will like this. His anger at their living conditions, especially against the numerous petty tyrannies he knew they faced, came from seeing and hearing during his daily contact with a class he had grown up among. In sympathy with them, yet not fully one of them, he felt their slights as if they were his own, alongside feelings of protectiveness and even contempt that they allowed themselves to be disrespected. He was close enough to grasp how they must feel; not close enough to understand why, feeling as they did, they didn’t act as he believed they should. In truth, he didn’t know them any better than he ought to.

He found Tryst washing at his pump. In the early morning light the big laborer's square, stubborn face, with its strange, dog-like eyes, had a sodden, hungry, lost look. Cutting short ablutions that certainly were never protracted, he welcomed Derek, and motioned him to pass into the kitchen. The young man went in, and perched himself on the window-sill beside a pot of Bridal Wreath. The cottage was one of the Mallorings', and recently repaired. A little fire was burning, and a teapot of stewed tea sat there beside it. Four cups and spoons and some sugar were put out on a deal table, for Tryst was, in fact, brewing the morning draught of himself and children, who still lay abed up-stairs. The sight made Derek shiver and his eyes darken. He knew the full significance of what he saw.

He found Tryst washing at his pump. In the early morning light, the big laborer's square, stubborn face, with its strange, dog-like eyes, looked sodden, hungry, and lost. Cutting short his washing, which was never lengthy, he welcomed Derek and motioned for him to go into the kitchen. The young man entered and perched himself on the window-sill next to a pot of Bridal Wreath. The cottage belonged to the Mallorings and had recently been repaired. A little fire was burning, and a teapot of brewed tea sat beside it. Four cups, spoons, and some sugar were laid out on a plain table because Tryst was actually preparing the morning drink for himself and the kids, who were still sleeping upstairs. The sight made Derek shiver and darkened his eyes. He knew exactly what he was looking at.

“Did you ask him again, Bob?”

“Did you ask him again, Bob?”

“Yes, I asked 'im.”

“Yes, I asked him.”

“What did he say?”

“What did he say?”

“Said as orders was plain. 'So long as you lives there,' he says, 'along of yourself alone, you can't have her come back.'”

“Said as orders was clear. 'As long as you live there,' he says, 'by yourself alone, you can't have her come back.'”

“Did you say the children wanted looking after badly? Did you make it clear? Did you say Mrs. Tryst wished it, before she—”

“Did you say the kids really needed looking after? Did you make that clear? Did you say Mrs. Tryst wanted it, before she—”

“I said that.”

"I said that."

“What did he say then?”

“What did he say next?”

“'Sorry for you, m'lad, but them's m'lady's orders, an' I can't go contrary. I don't wish to go into things,' he says; 'you know better'n I how far 'tis gone when she was 'ere before; but seein' as m'lady don't never give in to deceased wife's sister marryin', if she come back 'tis certain to be the other thing. So, as that won't do neither, you go elsewhere,' he says.”

“Sorry, kid, but those are my lady's orders, and I can't go against them. I don't want to get into details,” he says; “you know better than I do how far things went when she was here before; but since my lady never accepts marrying a deceased wife's sister, if she comes back it’s definitely going to be the opposite. So, since that won't work either, you should go somewhere else,” he says.”

Having spoken thus at length, Tryst lifted the teapot and poured out the dark tea into the three cups.

Having talked for a while, Tryst picked up the teapot and poured the dark tea into the three cups.

“Will 'ee have some, sir?”

"Will you have some, sir?"

Derek shook his head.

Derek shook his head.

Taking the cups, Tryst departed up the narrow stairway. And Derek remained motionless, staring at the Bridal Wreath, till the big man came down again and, retiring into a far corner, sat sipping at his own cup.

Taking the cups, Tryst headed up the narrow staircase. Derek stayed still, gazing at the Bridal Wreath, until the big man came back down and settled into a distant corner, sipping from his own cup.

“Bob,” said the boy suddenly, “do you LIKE being a dog; put to what company your master wishes?”

“Bob,” the boy suddenly said, “do you LIKE being a dog and having to go along with whatever your master wants?”

Tryst set his cup down, stood up, and crossed his thick arms—the swift movement from that stolid creature had in it something sinister; but he did not speak.

Tryst put his cup down, stood up, and crossed his thick arms—the quick motion from that solid figure had something eerie about it; but he didn’t say a word.

“Do you like it, Bob?”

"Do you like it, Bob?"

“I'll not say what I feels, Mr. Derek; that's for me. What I does'll be for others, p'raps.”

“I won’t say how I feel, Mr. Derek; that’s something personal. What I do will be for others, maybe.”

And he lifted his strange, lowering eyes to Derek's. For a full minute the two stared, then Derek said:

And he raised his unusual, intense eyes to Derek's. For a whole minute, the two of them stared at each other, then Derek said:

“Look out, then; be ready!” and, getting off the sill, he went out.

“Watch out, then; be prepared!” and, stepping off the ledge, he went outside.

On the bright, slimy surface of the pond three ducks were quietly revelling in that hour before man and his damned soul, the dog, rose to put the fear of God into them. In the sunlight, against the green duckweed, their whiteness was truly marvellous; difficult to believe that they were not white all through. Passing the three cottages, in the last of which the Gaunts lived, he came next to his own home, but did not turn in, and made on toward the church. It was a very little one, very old, and had for him a curious fascination, never confessed to man or beast. To his mother, and Sheila, more intolerant, as became women, that little, lichened, gray stone building was the very emblem of hypocrisy, of a creed preached, not practised; to his father it was nothing, for it was not alive, and any tramp, dog, bird, or fruit-tree meant far more. But in Derek it roused a peculiar feeling, such as a man might have gazing at the shores of a native country, out of which he had been thrown for no fault of his own—a yearning deeply muffled up in pride and resentment. Not infrequently he would come and sit brooding on the grassy hillock just above the churchyard. Church-going, with its pageantry, its tradition, dogma, and demand for blind devotion, would have suited him very well, if only blind devotion to his mother had not stood across that threshold; he could not bring himself to bow to that which viewed his rebellious mother as lost. And yet the deep fibres of heredity from her papistic Highland ancestors, and from old pious Moretons, drew him constantly to this spot at times when no one would be about. It was his enemy, this little church, the fold of all the instincts and all the qualities against which he had been brought up to rebel; the very home of patronage and property and superiority; the school where his friends the laborers were taught their place! And yet it had that queer, ironical attraction for him. In some such sort had his pet hero Montrose rebelled, and then been drawn despite himself once more to the side of that against which he had taken arms.

On the bright, slimy surface of the pond, three ducks were quietly enjoying themselves in that hour before humans and their damned dogs showed up to scare them away. In the sunlight, their whiteness against the green duckweed was truly amazing; it was hard to believe they weren't white all the way through. Passing the three cottages, the last of which was the Gaunts' home, he reached his own place but didn’t go in, instead heading toward the church. It was very small, very old, and held a strange fascination for him, one he never admitted to anyone. To his mother and Sheila, more intolerant as women tend to be, that little, lichen-covered gray stone building was a perfect symbol of hypocrisy, a religious belief preached but not practiced; to his father, it meant nothing, as it was lifeless, and any tramp, dog, bird, or fruit tree mattered far more. But in Derek, it stirred a unique feeling, like that of a man looking at the shores of a homeland he had been forced out of for no reason—an urge buried deep under feelings of pride and resentment. He often found himself sitting and brooding on the grassy hill just above the churchyard. Church services, with their rituals, traditions, dogmas, and demands for blind faith, would have suited him just fine, if only his blind devotion to his mother hadn't stood in the way; he couldn't bow to something that viewed his rebellious mother as lost. Yet, the strong ties of heritage from her Catholic Highland ancestors and from the old pious Moretons continually drew him back to this spot when no one was around. This little church was his enemy, the embodiment of all the instincts and qualities he had been raised to rebel against; it was the very heart of privilege and superiority; the place where his friends, the laborers, were taught their place! Yet, despite everything, it had a strange, ironic appeal for him. In some way, this was similar to how his favorite hero, Montrose, rebelled and then found himself drawn back to the side he had fought against.

While he leaned against the rail, gazing at that ancient edifice, he saw a girl walk into the churchyard at the far end, sit down on a gravestone, and begin digging a little hole in the grass with the toe of her boot. She did not seem to see him, and at his ease he studied her face, one of those broad, bright English country faces with deep-set rogue eyes and red, thick, soft lips, smiling on little provocation. In spite of her disgrace, in spite of the fact that she was sitting on her mother's grave, she did not look depressed. And Derek thought: 'Wilmet Gaunt is the jolliest of them all! She isn't a bit a bad girl, as they say; it's only that she must have fun. If they drive her out of here, she'll still want fun wherever she is; she'll go to a town and end up like those girls I saw in Bristol.' And the memory of those night girls, with their rouged faces and cringing boldness, came back to him with horror.

While he leaned against the railing, looking at that old building, he noticed a girl walk into the churchyard at the far end, sit down on a gravestone, and start digging a small hole in the grass with the toe of her boot. She didn’t seem to see him, and comfortably, he studied her face, one of those broad, bright English country faces with deep-set mischievous eyes and full, soft lips that smiled with little provocation. Despite her situation, and the fact that she was sitting on her mother's grave, she didn’t look sad. Derek thought, 'Wilmet Gaunt is the cheeriest of them all! She isn’t a bad girl at all, as they say; she just needs to have fun. If they push her out of here, she’ll still seek fun wherever she goes; she’ll end up in a town and become like those girls I saw in Bristol.' The memory of those night girls, with their made-up faces and desperate boldness, filled him with horror.

He went across the grass toward her.

He walked across the grass toward her.

She looked round as he came, and her face livened.

She turned to look at him as he approached, and her expression brightened.

“Well, Wilmet?”

"Well, Wilmet?"

“You're an early bird, Mr. Derek.”

"You're an early riser, Mr. Derek."

“Haven't been to bed.”

"Still awake."

“Oh!”

“Oh!”

“Been up Malvern Beacon to see the sun rise.”

"Just went up Malvern Beacon to watch the sunrise."

“You're tired, I expect!”

“You must be tired!”

“No.”

“No.”

“Must be fine up there. You'd see a long ways from there; near to London I should think. Do you know London, Mr. Derek?”

“Must be nice up there. You can see a long way from that spot; probably close to London, I’d guess. Do you know London, Mr. Derek?”

“No.”

“No.”

“They say 'tis a funny place, too.” Her rogue eyes gleamed from under a heavy frown. “It'd not be all 'Do this' an' 'Do that'; an' 'You bad girl' an' 'You little hussy!' in London. They say there's room for more'n one sort of girl there.”

“They say it’s a funny place, too.” Her mischievous eyes sparkled from beneath a heavy frown. “It wouldn't just be all 'Do this' and 'Do that'; and 'You naughty girl' and 'You little hussy!' in London. They say there's room for more than one kind of girl there.”

“All towns are beastly places, Wilmet.”

“All towns are terrible places, Wilmet.”

Again her rogue's eyes gleamed. “I don' know so much about that, Mr. Derek. I'm going where I won't be chivied about and pointed at, like what I am here.”

Again her mischievous eyes sparkled. “I don’t know about that, Mr. Derek. I’m going somewhere I won’t be harassed and stared at, like I am here.”

“Your dad's stuck to you; you ought to stick to him.”

“Your dad’s there for you; you should be there for him.”

“Ah, Dad! He's losin' his place for me, but that don't stop his tongue at home. 'Tis no use to nag me—nag me. Suppose one of m'lady's daughters had a bit of fun—they say there's lots as do—I've heard tales—there'd be none comin' to chase her out of her home. 'No, my girl, you can't live here no more, endangerin' the young men. You go away. Best for you's where they'll teach you to be'ave. Go on! Out with you! I don't care where you go; but you just go!' 'Tis as if girls were all pats o' butter—same square, same pattern on it, same weight, an' all.”

“Ah, Dad! He's losing his spot for me, but that doesn’t stop him from talking at home. There's no point in nagging me—just nagging. If one of the lady’s daughters had a little fun—they say plenty do—I’ve heard stories—no one would come to kick her out of her home. 'No, my girl, you can’t live here anymore, putting the young men at risk. You need to leave. It’s better for you to go where they’ll teach you to behave. Just go! I don’t care where you go; just get out!' It’s like girls are all just pats of butter—same shape, same design on it, same weight, and all.”

Derek had come closer; he put his hand down and gripped her arm. Her eloquence dried up before the intentness of his face, and she just stared up at him.

Derek moved closer; he reached out and grabbed her arm. Her words faltered in the face of his intense expression, and she simply stared back at him.

“Now, look here, Wilmet; you promise me not to scoot without letting us know. We'll get you a place to go to. Promise.”

“Now, listen up, Wilmet; you promise me not to run off without telling us. We’ll help you find a place to go. Promise.”

A little sheepishly the rogue-girl answered:

A bit shyly, the rebellious girl replied:

“I promise; only, I'm goin'.”

"I promise; I'm leaving."

Suddenly she dimpled and broke into her broad smile.

Suddenly, she smiled brightly, showing her dimples.

“Mr. Derek, d'you know what they say—they say you're in love. You was seen in th' orchard. Ah! 'tis all right for you and her! But if any one kiss and hug ME, I got to go!”

“Mr. Derek, do you know what people are saying? They say you’re in love. You were spotted in the orchard. Oh! It’s all good for you and her! But if anyone kisses and hugs ME, I have to leave!”

Derek drew back among the graves, as if he had been struck with a whip.

Derek stepped back among the graves, as if he had just been hit with a whip.

She looked up at him with coaxing sweetness.

She gazed up at him with a gentle, inviting sweetness.

“Don't you mind me, Mr. Derek, and don't you stay here neither. If they saw you here with me, they'd say: 'Aw—look! Endangerin' another young man—poor young man!' Good mornin', Mr. Derek!”

“Don't worry about me, Mr. Derek, and don't stay here either. If they saw you here with me, they'd say: 'Aw—look! Putting another young man at risk—poor guy!' Good morning, Mr. Derek!”

The rogue eyes followed him gravely, then once more began examining the grass, and the toe of her boot again began kicking a little hole. But Derek did not look back.

The rogue eyes watched him intently, then once again started inspecting the grass, and the toe of her boot began to kick at a small hole. But Derek didn’t look back.





CHAPTER XI

It is in the nature of men and angels to pursue with death such birds as are uncommon, such animals as are rare; and Society had no use for one like Tod, so uncut to its pattern as to be practically unconscious of its existence. Not that he had deliberately turned his back on anything; he had merely begun as a very young man to keep bees. The better to do that he had gone on to the cultivation of flowers and fruit, together with just enough farming as kept his household in vegetables, milk, butter, and eggs. Living thus amongst insects, birds, cows, and the peace of trees, he had become queer. His was not a very reflective mind, it distilled but slowly certain large conclusions, and followed intently the minute happenings of his little world. To him a bee, a bird, a flower, a tree was well-nigh as interesting as a man; yet men, women, and especially children took to him, as one takes to a Newfoundland dog, because, though capable of anger, he seemed incapable of contempt, and to be endowed with a sort of permanent wonder at things. Then, too, he was good to look at, which counts for more than a little in the scales of our affections; indeed, the slight air of absence in his blue eyes was not chilling, as is that which portends a wandering of its owner on his own business. People recognized that it meant some bee or other in that bonnet, or elsewhere, some sound or scent or sight of life, suddenly perceived—always of life! He had often been observed gazing with peculiar gravity at a dead flower, bee, bird, or beetle, and, if spoken to at such a moment, would say, “Gone!” touching a wing or petal with his finger. To conceive of what happened after death did not apparently come within the few large conclusions of his reflective powers. That quaint grief of his in the presence of the death of things that were not human had, more than anything, fostered a habit among the gentry and clergy of the neighborhood of drawing up the mouth when they spoke of him, and slightly raising the shoulders. For the cottagers, to be sure, his eccentricity consisted rather in his being a 'gentleman,' yet neither eating flesh, drinking wine, nor telling them how they ought to behave themselves, together with the way he would sit down on anything and listen to what they had to tell him, without giving them the impression that he was proud of himself for doing so. In fact, it was the extraordinary impression he made of listening and answering without wanting anything either for himself or for them, that they could not understand. How on earth it came about that he did not give them advice about their politics, religion, morals, or monetary states, was to them a never-ending mystery; and though they were too well bred to shrug their shoulders, there did lurk in their dim minds the suspicion that 'the good gentleman,' as they called him, was 'a tiddy-bit off.' He had, of course, done many practical little things toward helping them and their beasts, but always, as it seemed, by accident, so that they could never make up their minds afterward whether he remembered having done them, which, in fact, he probably did not; and this seemed to them perhaps the most damning fact of all about his being—well, about his being—not quite all there. Another worrying habit he had, too, that of apparently not distinguishing between them and any tramps or strangers who might happen along and come across him. This was, in their eyes, undoubtedly a fault; for the village was, after all, their village, and he, as it were, their property. To crown all, there was a story, full ten years old now, which had lost nothing in the telling, of his treatment of a cattle-drover. To the village it had an eerie look, that windmill-like rage let loose upon a man who, after all, had only been twisting a bullock's tail and running a spiked stick into its softer parts, as any drover might. People said—the postman and a wagoner had seen the business, raconteurs born, so that the tale had perhaps lost nothing—that he had positively roared as he came leaping down into the lane upon the man, a stout and thick-set fellow, taken him up like a baby, popped him into a furzebush, and held him there. People said that his own bare arms had been pricked to the very shoulder from pressing the drover down into that uncompromising shrub, and the man's howls had pierced the very heavens. The postman, to this day, would tell how the mere recollection of seeing it still made him sore all over. Of the words assigned to Tod on this occasion, the mildest and probably most true were: “By the Lord God, if you treat a beast like that again, I'll cut your liver out, you hell-hearted sweep!”

It’s in the nature of people and angels to go after rare birds and uncommon animals; and society had no use for someone like Tod, who was so different from its norms that he seemed barely aware of its existence. Not that he had intentionally rejected anything; he had simply started keeping bees at a very young age. To better support that, he began growing flowers and fruit, along with just enough farming to provide his household with vegetables, milk, butter, and eggs. Living among insects, birds, cows, and the tranquility of trees made him a bit odd. He wasn't a very reflective person, often taking a long time to arrive at any significant conclusions, instead focusing intensely on the small happenings in his little world. To him, a bee, a bird, a flower, or a tree was almost as fascinating as a person; yet men, women, and especially children were fond of him like one might be of a Newfoundland dog, because, although he could get angry, he seemed incapable of holding contempt and had a sense of permanent wonder about everything. Plus, he was pleasant to look at, which counts for a lot in how we feel about others; indeed, the slight look of distraction in his blue eyes wasn’t off-putting, as it often hinted at him being lost in his own thoughts. People understood that it indicated that he was preoccupied with some bee, or something else, perhaps a sound, smell, or sight of life that had suddenly caught his attention—always something related to life! He was often seen staring very seriously at a dead flower, bee, bird, or beetle, and if someone interrupted him during those moments, he'd simply say, “Gone!” while touching a wing or petal with his finger. It seemed that understanding what happens after death was beyond the few big thoughts his reflective side could manage. His peculiar sorrow in the face of non-human death had led the local gentry and clergy to involuntarily grimace when they talked about him, raising their shoulders slightly. As for the villagers, his oddity stemmed more from his status as a 'gentleman,' yet he neither ate meat, drank wine, nor lectured them on how to behave, and he would sit down anywhere to listen to what they had to say, without giving the impression that he looked down on them for it. In fact, it was the unique impression he gave of truly listening and responding without wanting anything for himself or them that baffled them. They couldn't fathom how he didn't give them advice on their politics, religion, morals, or finances, which was a constant puzzle; and although they were too refined to openly show it, there persisted in their minds a nagging suspicion that 'the good gentleman,' as they called him, was 'a little off.' He had certainly done many practical things to help them and their animals, but it always seemed like it was by accident, leaving them unsure if he even remembered doing them, which he likely did not; and this was perhaps the most damning aspect of his being—well, about him not being quite all there. Another troubling thing was that he often didn’t seem to differentiate between them and any drifters or strangers who wandered by. This was definitely a flaw in their eyes; after all, the village was theirs, and he was, in a way, their property. To top it all off, there was a story, now ten years old, that had only gotten more intense with retelling, about how he dealt with a cattle drover. The village found it eerie, that furious, windmill-like rage unleashed on a man who, after all, had just been pulling on a bullock's tail and poking it with a spiked stick, as any drover might. People said—the postman and a wagoner had seen it, both born storytellers, so the tale likely hadn’t lost any detail—that he had screamed as he jumped into the lane at the man, a solid and sturdy guy, picked him up like a child, tossed him into a furze bush, and held him there. People claimed that his own bare arms had been scratched to the shoulder from pressing the drover down into that stubborn shrub, and the man's howls had reached the heavens. The postman still recounted how just remembering it made him feel sore all over. Of the words attributed to Tod during that incident, the mildest and probably the most accurate were: “By the Lord God, if you treat a creature like that again, I'll cut your liver out, you heartless scoundrel!”

The incident, which had produced a somewhat marked effect in regard to the treatment of animals all round that neighborhood, had never been forgotten, nor in a sense forgiven. In conjunction with the extraordinary peace and mildness of his general behavior, it had endowed Tod with mystery; and people, especially simple folk, cannot bring themselves to feel quite at home with mystery. Children only—to whom everything is so mysterious that nothing can be—treated him as he treated them, giving him their hands with confidence. But children, even his own, as they grew up, began to have a little of the village feeling toward Tod; his world was not theirs, and what exactly his world was they could not grasp. Possibly it was the sense that they partook of his interest and affection too much on a level with any other kind of living thing that might happen to be about, which discomfited their understanding. They held him, however, in a certain reverence.

The incident that had a noticeable impact on how animals were treated throughout the neighborhood was never forgotten or entirely forgiven. Along with his generally calm and gentle behavior, it gave Tod an air of mystery; and people, especially those who were simple, couldn't quite get comfortable with that mystery. Only children—who find everything so mysterious that nothing can be—interacted with him as he did with them, offering their hands with trust. But as children grew up, even his own, they began to adopt a bit of the village’s perspective towards Tod; his world wasn’t theirs, and they struggled to understand what his world truly was. It might have been the feeling that they shared his interest and affection on the same level as any other living creature around them that confused their understanding. Nonetheless, they regarded him with a certain sense of respect.

That early morning he had already done a good two hours' work in connection with broad beans, of which he grew, perhaps, the best in the whole county, and had knocked off for a moment, to examine a spider's web. This marvellous creation, which the dew had visited and clustered over, as stars over the firmament, was hung on the gate of the vegetable garden, and the spider, a large and active one, was regarding Tod with the misgiving natural to its species. Intensely still Tod stood, absorbed in contemplation of that bright and dusty miracle. Then, taking up his hoe again, he went back to the weeds that threatened his broad beans. Now and again he stopped to listen, or to look at the sky, as is the way of husbandmen, thinking of nothing, enjoying the peace of his muscles.

That early morning, he had already spent a solid two hours working with broad beans, which he probably grew better than anyone else in the county, and took a moment to check out a spider's web. This amazing creation, glistening with dew like stars in the night sky, was stretched across the gate of the vegetable garden, and the spider, large and quick, watched Tod with a natural wariness. Tod stood still, completely absorbed in the beauty of that bright, dusty wonder. Then, picking up his hoe again, he returned to the weeds that threatened his broad beans. Every now and then, he paused to listen or look at the sky, as farmers often do, thinking of nothing and relishing the peace in his muscles.

“Please, sir, father's got into a fit again.”

“Please, sir, Dad’s having another fit.”

Two little girls were standing in the lane below. The elder, who had spoken in that small, anxious voice, had a pale little face with pointed chin; her hair, the color of over-ripe corn, hung fluffy on her thin shoulders, her flower-like eyes, with something motherly in them already, were the same hue as her pale-blue, almost clean, overall. She had her smaller, chubbier sister by the hand, and, having delivered her message, stood still, gazing up at Tod, as one might at God. Tod dropped his hoe.

Two little girls were standing in the lane below. The older one, who had spoken in a small, anxious voice, had a pale little face with a pointed chin; her hair, the color of overripe corn, hung softly on her thin shoulders. Her flower-like eyes had a motherly look to them and were the same shade as her pale blue, almost clean, overalls. She held her smaller, chubbier sister by the hand, and after delivering her message, stood still, looking up at Tod as if he were God. Tod dropped his hoe.

“Biddy come with me; Susie go and tell Mrs. Freeland, or Miss Sheila.”

"Biddy, come with me; Susie, go tell Mrs. Freeland or Miss Sheila."

He took the frail little hand of the elder Tryst and ran. They ran at the child's pace, the one so very massive, the other such a whiff of flesh and blood.

He took the fragile little hand of the elder Tryst and they ran. They ran at the child's pace, one so huge and the other just a wisp of flesh and blood.

“Did you come at once, Biddy?”

“Did you come right away, Biddy?”

“Yes, sir.”

"Yes, sir."

“Where was he taken?”

“Where did they take him?”

“In the kitchen—just as I was cookin' breakfast.”

“In the kitchen—right as I was making breakfast.”

“Ah! Is it a bad one?”

“Ah! Is it a bad one?”

“Yes, sir, awful bad—he's all foamy.”

“Yes, sir, really bad—he's all foamy.”

“What did you do for it?”

“What did you do for it?”

“Susie and me turned him over, and Billy's seein' he don't get his tongue down his throat—like what you told us, and we ran to you. Susie was frightened, he hollered so.”

“Susie and I turned him over, and Billy saw that he wasn't choking on his tongue—like you told us—and we ran to you. Susie was scared; he yelled so loudly.”

Past the three cottages, whence a woman at a window stared in amaze to see that queer couple running, past the pond where the ducks, whiter than ever in the brightening sunlight, dived and circled carelessly, into the Tryst kitchen. There on the brick floor lay the distressful man, already struggling back out of epilepsy, while his little frightened son sat manfully beside him.

Past the three cottages, where a woman at a window stared in amazement to see that odd couple running, past the pond where the ducks, whiter than ever in the brightening sunlight, dove and circled around carelessly, into the Tryst kitchen. There, on the brick floor, lay the distressed man, already struggling to come back from an epileptic episode, while his little frightened son sat bravely beside him.

“Towels, and hot water, Biddy!”

"Towels and hot water, Biddy!"

With extraordinary calm rapidity the small creature brought what might have been two towels, a basin, and the kettle; and in silence she and Tod steeped his forehead.

With remarkable calmness and speed, the small creature brought what could have been two towels, a basin, and the kettle; and in silence, she and Tod soaked his forehead.

“Eyes look better, Biddy?”

"Do eyes look better, Biddy?"

“He don't look so funny now, sir.”

“He doesn't look so funny now, sir.”

Picking up that form, almost as big as his own, Tod carried it up impossibly narrow stairs and laid it on a dishevelled bed.

Picking up that form, nearly as big as his own, Tod carried it up the impossibly narrow stairs and placed it on a messy bed.

“Phew! Open the window, Biddy.”

“Phew! Open the window, Biddy.”

The small creature opened what there was of window.

The small creature opened the tiny window.

“Now, go down and heat two bricks and wrap them in something, and bring them up.”

“Now, go down and heat two bricks, wrap them in something, and bring them up.”

Tryst's boots and socks removed, Tod rubbed the large, warped feet. While doing this he whistled, and the little boy crept up-stairs and squatted in the doorway, to watch and listen. The morning air overcame with its sweetness the natural odor of that small room, and a bird or two went flirting past. The small creature came back with the bricks, wrapped in petticoats of her own, and, placing them against the soles of her father's feet, she stood gazing at Tod, for all the world like a little mother dog with puppies.

Tryst’s boots and socks were off, and Tod massaged the large, misshapen feet. While he did this, he whistled, and the little boy quietly crept upstairs and squatted in the doorway to watch and listen. The sweet morning air filled the small room, overpowering its natural smell, and a couple of birds flitted by. The small child returned with the bricks, wrapped in her own petticoats, and, placing them against the soles of her father’s feet, she stood staring at Tod, looking just like a little mother dog with her puppies.

“You can't go to school to-day, Biddy.”

“You can't go to school today, Biddy.”

“Is Susie and Billy to go?”

“Are Susie and Billy coming?”

“Yes; there's nothing to be frightened of now. He'll be nearly all right by evening. But some one shall stay with you.”

“Yes; there’s nothing to be scared of now. He should be almost fine by evening. But someone will stay with you.”

At this moment Tryst lifted his hand, and the small creature went and stood beside him, listening to the whispering that emerged from his thick lips.

At that moment, Tryst raised his hand, and the small creature came over and stood next to him, listening to the whispers coming from his thick lips.

“Father says I'm to thank you, please.”

“Dad says I should thank you, please.”

“Yes. Have you had your breakfasts?”

“Yes. Have you had your breakfast?”

The small creature and her smaller brother shook their heads.

The little creature and her even smaller brother shook their heads.

“Go down and get them.”

“Go down and grab them.”

Whispering and twisting back, they went, and by the side of the bed Tod sat down. In Tryst's eyes was that same look of dog-like devotion he had bent on Derek earlier that morning. Tod stared out of the window and gave the man's big hand a squeeze. Of what did he think, watching a lime-tree outside, and the sunlight through its foliage painting bright the room's newly whitewashed wall, already gray-spotted with damp again; watching the shadows of the leaves playing in that sunlight? Almost cruel, that lovely shadow game of outside life so full and joyful, so careless of man and suffering; too gay almost, too alive! Of what did he think, watching the chase and dart of shadow on shadow, as of gray butterflies fluttering swift to the sack of flowers, while beside him on the bed the big laborer lay?...

Whispering and twisting back, they went, and by the side of the bed, Tod sat down. In Tryst's eyes was that same dog-like devotion he had shown to Derek earlier that morning. Tod stared out of the window and squeezed the man's big hand. What was he thinking, watching a lime tree outside, with sunlight filtering through its leaves, painting the room's freshly whitewashed wall, already spotted with damp once again; watching the shadows of the leaves dance in that sunlight? It seemed almost cruel, that beautiful game of shadows from the outside world so full of joy and life, so indifferent to human suffering; almost too cheerful, too vibrant! What was he thinking, watching the chase and dart of shadows, like gray butterflies fluttering swiftly toward a bouquet of flowers, while beside him on the bed the big laborer lay?

When Kirsteen and Sheila came to relieve him of that vigil he went down-stairs. There in the kitchen Biddy was washing up, and Susie and Billy putting on their boots for school. They stopped to gaze at Tod feeling in his pockets, for they knew that things sometimes happened after that. To-day there came out two carrots, some lumps of sugar, some cord, a bill, a pruning knife, a bit of wax, a bit of chalk, three flints, a pouch of tobacco, two pipes, a match-box with a single match in it, a six-pence, a necktie, a stick of chocolate, a tomato, a handkerchief, a dead bee, an old razor, a bit of gauze, some tow, a stick of caustic, a reel of cotton, a needle, no thimble, two dock leaves, and some sheets of yellowish paper. He separated from the rest the sixpence, the dead bee, and what was edible. And in delighted silence the three little Trysts gazed, till Biddy with the tip of one wet finger touched the bee.

When Kirsteen and Sheila came to take over his watch, he went downstairs. In the kitchen, Biddy was washing dishes, while Susie and Billy were putting on their boots for school. They paused to watch Tod as he rummaged through his pockets, knowing that sometimes interesting things came out of that. Today, he pulled out two carrots, some lumps of sugar, a piece of cord, a bill, a pruning knife, a bit of wax, a piece of chalk, three flints, a pouch of tobacco, two pipes, a matchbox with a single match, a sixpence, a necktie, a chocolate bar, a tomato, a handkerchief, a dead bee, an old razor, a piece of gauze, some tow, a stick of caustic, a spool of cotton, a needle, no thimble, two dock leaves, and some sheets of yellowish paper. He set aside the sixpence, the dead bee, and the edible items. The three little Trysts watched in delighted silence until Biddy, with the tip of one wet finger, touched the bee.

“Not good to eat, Biddy.”

"Not safe to eat, Biddy."

At those words, one after the other, cautiously, the three little Trysts smiled. Finding that Tod smiled too, they broadened, and Billy burst into chuckles. Then, clustering in the doorway, grasping the edibles and the sixpence, and consulting with each other, they looked long after his big figure passing down the road.

At those words, one by one, carefully, the three little Trysts smiled. When they saw Tod smile too, their smiles grew wider, and Billy broke into laughter. Then, gathered in the doorway, holding onto the snacks and the sixpence, and whispering to each other, they watched for a long time as his tall figure walked down the road.





CHAPTER XII

Still later, that same morning, Derek and Sheila moved slowly up the Mallorings' well-swept drive. Their lips were set, as though they had spoken the last word before battle, and an old cock pheasant, running into the bushes close by, rose with a whir and skimmed out toward his covert, scared, perhaps, by something uncompromising in the footsteps of those two.

Still later that same morning, Derek and Sheila walked slowly up the Mallorings' tidy driveway. Their lips were tight, as if they had said their final word before a confrontation, and an old cock pheasant, darting into the nearby bushes, burst out with a flutter and flew toward its hiding spot, possibly startled by something relentless in the footsteps of the two.

Only when actually under the shelter of the porch, which some folk thought enhanced the old Greek-temple effect of the Mallorings' house, Derek broke through that taciturnity:

Only when he was actually under the shelter of the porch, which some people thought made the Mallorings' house look even more like an old Greek temple, Derek finally spoke up:

“What if they won't?”

“What if they don't?”

“Wait and see; and don't lose your head, Derek.” The man who stood there when the door opened was tall, grave, wore his hair in powder, and waited without speech.

“Just wait and see; and don't lose your cool, Derek.” The man who was there when the door opened was tall, serious, had powdered hair, and stood silently waiting.

“Will you ask Sir Gerald and Lady Malloring if Miss Freeland and Mr. Derek Freeland could see them, please; and will you say the matter is urgent?”

“Could you please ask Sir Gerald and Lady Malloring if Miss Freeland and Mr. Derek Freeland can meet with them? Also, let them know that it’s urgent.”

The man bowed, left them, and soon came back.

The man bowed, left them, and returned shortly.

“My lady will see you, miss; Sir Gerald is not in. This way.”

“My lady will see you, miss; Sir Gerald isn’t here. This way.”

Past the statuary, flowers, and antlers of the hall, they traversed a long, cool corridor, and through a white door entered a white room, not very large, and very pretty. Two children got up as they came in and flapped out past them like young partridges, and Lady Malloring rose from her writing-table and came forward, holding out her hand. The two young Freelands took it gravely. For all their hostility they could not withstand the feeling that she would think them terrible young prigs if they simply bowed. And they looked steadily at one with whom they had never before been at quite such close quarters. Lady Malloring, who had originally been the Honorable Mildred Killory, a daughter of Viscount Silport, was tall, slender, and not very striking, with very fair hair going rather gray; her expression in repose was pleasant, a little anxious; only by her eyes was the suspicion awakened that she was a woman of some character. They had that peculiar look of belonging to two worlds, so often to be met with in English eyes, a look of self-denying aspiration, tinctured with the suggestion that denial might not be confined to self.

Past the statues, flowers, and antlers in the hall, they walked down a long, cool corridor and entered a small, pretty white room through a white door. Two children stood up as they entered and dashed past them like young partridges, and Lady Malloring rose from her writing desk and stepped forward, extending her hand. The two young Freelands took it seriously. Despite their tension, they couldn’t shake the feeling that she would think they were terribly snobby if they just bowed. They looked at her steadily, noticing they had never been so close to her before. Lady Malloring, originally the Honorable Mildred Killory, daughter of Viscount Silport, was tall, slender, and not particularly striking, with very light hair that was starting to gray; her resting expression was pleasant but slightly anxious. It was only in her eyes that there was a hint she was a woman of some depth. They had that unique look often found in English eyes, a mixture of self-denying ambition with a suggestion that their denial might extend beyond just themselves.

In a quite friendly voice she said:

In a really friendly voice, she said:

“Can I do anything for you?” And while she waited for an answer her glance travelled from face to face of the two young people, with a certain curiosity. After a silence of several seconds, Sheila answered:

“Can I do anything for you?” As she waited for a response, her gaze shifted from one young person to the other, filled with a hint of curiosity. After several seconds of silence, Sheila replied:

“Not for us, thank you; for others, you can.”

“Not for us, thanks; for others, you can.”

Lady Malloring's eyebrows rose a little, as if there seemed to her something rather unjust in those words—'for others.'

Lady Malloring's eyebrows lifted slightly, as if she found something quite unfair in those words—'for others.'

“Yes?” she said.

“Yes?” she asked.

Sheila, whose hands were clenched, and whose face had been fiery red, grew suddenly almost white.

Sheila, with her fists clenched and her face flushed bright red, suddenly turned almost pale.

“Lady Malloring, will you please let the Gaunts stay in their cottage and Tryst's wife's sister come to live with the children and him?”

“Lady Malloring, could you please allow the Gaunts to stay in their cottage and have Tryst's wife's sister come to live with him and the kids?”

Lady Malloring raised one hand; the motion, quite involuntary, ended at the tiny cross on her breast. She said quietly:

Lady Malloring raised one hand; the motion, quite involuntary, ended at the tiny cross on her chest. She said quietly:

“I'm afraid you don't understand.”

"I’m sorry, you don’t get it."

“Yes,” said Sheila, still very pale, “we understand quite well. We understand that you are acting in what you believe to be the interests of morality. All the same, won't you? Do!”

“Yes,” Sheila said, still looking very pale, “we totally understand. We get that you're doing what you think is right for morality. Still, won't you? Please!”

“I'm very sorry, but I can't.”

“I'm really sorry, but I can't.”

“May we ask why?”

“Can we ask why?”

Lady Malloring started, and transferred her glance to Derek.

Lady Malloring jumped and looked over at Derek.

“I don't know,” she said with a smile, “that I am obliged to account for my actions to you two young people. Besides, you must know why, quite well.”

“I don’t know,” she said with a smile, “that I owe you two young people any explanation for my actions. Besides, you should already know why, quite well.”

Sheila put out her hand.

Sheila extended her hand.

“Wilmet Gaunt will go to the bad if you turn them out.”

“Wilmet Gaunt will go downhill if you kick them out.”

“I am afraid I think she has gone to the bad already, and I do not mean her to take others there with her. I am sorry for poor Tryst, and I wish he could find some nice woman to marry; but what he proposes is impossible.”

“I’m afraid I think she’s already gone off the rails, and I don’t want her to drag others down with her. I feel sorry for poor Tryst, and I wish he could find a nice woman to marry; but what he’s suggesting is impossible.”

The blood had flared up again in Sheila's cheeks; she was as red as the comb of a turkey-cock.

The blood had rushed back to Sheila's cheeks; she was as red as a turkey's wattle.

“Why shouldn't he marry his wife's sister? It's legal, now, and you've no right to stop it.”

“Why shouldn’t he marry his wife’s sister? It’s legal now, and you have no right to stop it.”

Lady Malloring bit her lips; she looked straight and hard at Sheila.

Lady Malloring bit her lips; she stared straight and intensely at Sheila.

“I do not stop it; I have no means of stopping it. Only, he cannot do it and live in one of our cottages. I don't think we need discuss this further.”

"I can’t stop it; I have no way to stop it. But he can’t do it and still live in one of our cottages. I don’t think we need to talk about this anymore."

“I beg your pardon—”

"Excuse me—"

The words had come from Derek. Lady Malloring paused in her walk toward the bell. With his peculiar thin-lipped smile the boy went on:

The words had come from Derek. Lady Malloring paused in her walk toward the bell. With his unusual thin-lipped smile, the boy continued:

“We imagined you would say no; we really came because we thought it fair to warn you that there may be trouble.”

“We figured you would say no; we honestly came because we thought it was right to let you know that there could be some trouble.”

Lady Malloring smiled.

Lady Malloring smiled.

“This is a private matter between us and our tenants, and we should be so glad if you could manage not to interfere.”

“This is a private matter between us and our tenants, and we would appreciate it if you could refrain from interfering.”

Derek bowed, and put his hand within his sister's arm. But Sheila did not move; she was trembling with anger.

Derek bowed and linked his arm with his sister's. But Sheila didn’t move; she was shaking with anger.

“Who are you,” she suddenly burst out, “to dispose of the poor, body and soul? Who are you, to dictate their private lives? If they pay their rent, that should be enough for you.”

“Who are you,” she suddenly exclaimed, “to control the poor, body and soul? Who are you, to dictate how they live their personal lives? If they pay their rent, that should be enough for you.”

Lady Malloring moved swiftly again toward the bell. She paused with her hand on it, and said:

Lady Malloring quickly moved toward the bell again. She stopped with her hand on it and said:

“I am sorry for you two; you have been miserably brought up!”

“I feel sorry for both of you; you had a really rough upbringing!”

There was a silence; then Derek said quietly:

There was a silence; then Derek said softly:

“Thank you; we shall remember that insult to our people. Don't ring, please; we're going.”

“Thank you; we'll remember that insult to our people. Please don’t ring; we’re leaving.”

In a silence if anything more profound than that of their approach, the two young people retired down the drive. They had not yet learned—most difficult of lessons—how to believe that people could in their bones differ from them. It had always seemed to them that if only they had a chance of putting directly what they thought, the other side must at heart agree, and only go on saying they didn't out of mere self-interest. They came away, therefore, from this encounter with the enemy a little dazed by the discovery that Lady Malloring in her bones believed that she was right. It confused them, and heated the fires of their anger.

In a silence that was even deeper than when they arrived, the two young people walked down the driveway. They hadn’t yet learned—perhaps the hardest lesson of all—that people could fundamentally disagree with them. They had always thought that if they could just clearly express their views, the other side would ultimately agree, only claiming they didn’t out of self-interest. So, they left this encounter with the opposition feeling somewhat stunned by the realization that Lady Malloring truly believed she was right. It baffled them and fueled their anger.

They had shaken off all private dust before Sheila spoke.

They had dusted off all personal issues before Sheila spoke.

“They're all like that—can't see or feel—simply certain they're superior! It makes—it makes me hate them! It's terrible, ghastly.” And while she stammered out those little stabs of speech, tears of rage rolled down her cheeks.

“They're all like that—can't see or feel—just so sure they're better! It makes me hate them! It's awful, just awful.” And while she struggled to get those words out, tears of anger streamed down her face.

Derek put his arm round her waist.

Derek wrapped his arm around her waist.

“All right! No good groaning; let's think seriously what to do.”

“All right! No more complaining; let's seriously think about what to do.”

There was comfort to the girl in that curiously sudden reversal of their usual attitudes.

There was a sense of comfort for the girl in that oddly sudden change in their usual behavior.

“Whatever's done,” he went on, “has got to be startling. It's no good pottering and protesting, any more.” And between his teeth he muttered: “'Men of England, wherefore plough?'...”

“Whatever's done,” he continued, “has to be shocking. There's no point in just fiddling around and complaining anymore.” And between his teeth, he muttered: “'Men of England, why farm?'...”

In the room where the encounter had taken place Mildred Malloring was taking her time to recover. From very childhood she had felt that the essence of her own goodness, the essence of her duty in life, was the doing of 'good' to others; from very childhood she had never doubted that she was in a position to do this, and that those to whom she did good, although they might kick against it as inconvenient, must admit that it WAS their 'good.' The thought: 'They don't admit that I am superior!' had never even occurred to her, so completely was she unselfconscious, in her convinced superiority. It was hard, indeed, to be flung against such outspoken rudeness. It shook her more than she gave sign of, for she was not by any means an insensitive woman—shook her almost to the point of feeling that there was something in the remonstrance of those dreadful young people. Yet, how could there be, when no one knew better than she that the laborers on the Malloring estate were better off than those on nine out of ten estates; better paid and better housed, and—better looked after in their morals. Was she to give up that?—when she knew that she WAS better able to tell what was good for them than they were themselves. After all, without stripping herself naked of every thought, experience, and action since her birth, how could she admit that she was not better able? And slowly, in the white room with the moss-green carpet, she recovered, till there was only just a touch of soreness left, at the injustice implicit in their words. Those two had been 'miserably brought up,' had never had a chance of finding their proper place, of understanding that they were just two callow young things, for whom Life had some fearful knocks in store. She could even feel now that she had meant that saying: 'I am sorry for you two!' She WAS sorry for them, sorry for their want of manners and their point of view, neither of which they could help, of course, with a mother like that. For all her gentleness and sensibility, there was much practical directness about Mildred Malloring; for her, a page turned was a page turned, an idea absorbed was never disgorged; she was of religious temperament, ever trimming her course down the exact channel marked out with buoys by the Port Authorities, and really incapable of imagining spiritual wants in others that could not be satisfied by what satisfied herself. And this pathetic strength she had in common with many of her fellow creatures in every class. Sitting down at the writing-table from which she had been disturbed, she leaned her thin, rather long, gentle, but stubborn face on her hand, thinking. These Gaunts were a source of irritation in the parish, a kind of open sore. It would be better if they could be got rid of before quarter day, up to which she had weakly said they might remain. Far better for them to go at once, if it could be arranged. As for the poor fellow Tryst, thinking that by plunging into sin he could improve his lot and his poor children's, it was really criminal of those Freelands to encourage him. She had refrained hitherto from seriously worrying Gerald on such points of village policy—his hands were so full; but he must now take his part. And she rang the bell.

In the room where the meeting had happened, Mildred Malloring was taking her time to process everything. Since she was a child, she had believed that her true purpose in life was to do 'good' for others; she had always been confident that she was able to do this, and that those she helped, even if they resisted her kindness as annoying, had to acknowledge that it was indeed their 'good.' The thought, 'They don't recognize my superiority!' had never even crossed her mind, so completely was she unaware of herself in her firm belief in her superiority. It was really hard to be confronted with such blatant rudeness. It shook her more than she showed, because she was not at all an insensitive woman—she was shaken almost to the point of wondering if there was any validity to the complaints of those awful young people. Yet, how could there be, when no one knew better than she that the workers on the Malloring estate were better off than those on nine out of ten estates; they were better paid, better housed, and—better cared for in their morals. Was she supposed to give that up?—when she knew she was better equipped to understand what was good for them than they were themselves. After all, without completely stripping away every thought, experience, and action from her life, how could she admit that she wasn't better qualified? Slowly, in the white room with the moss-green carpet, she regained her composure, until there was just a hint of hurt remaining from the unfairness of their words. Those two had been 'miserably raised,' never had a chance to find their rightful place, to realize that they were just two naive young people, facing some tough challenges in life. She even felt now that she had genuinely meant the words: 'I feel sorry for you two!' She DID feel sorry for them, sorry for their lack of manners and their perspective, neither of which they could help, of course, with a mother like that. Despite her gentleness and sensitivity, Mildred Malloring had a lot of practical straightforwardness; for her, a page turned was a page turned, and an idea absorbed was never forgotten; she had a religious temperament, always keeping her path strictly within the exact channel marked by the Port Authorities, and truly unable to imagine spiritual needs in others that couldn't be met by what satisfied her. And this somewhat sad strength was something she shared with many people across all classes. Sitting back down at the writing desk from which she had been interrupted, she rested her thin, somewhat long, gentle yet stubborn face on her hand, deep in thought. The Gaunts were a source of annoyance in the parish, a kind of ongoing problem. It would be better if they could be gotten rid of before quarter day, until which she had weakly said they could stay. It would be much better for them to leave right away, if that could be arranged. As for the poor guy Tryst, thinking that by diving into trouble he could improve his situation and that of his poor kids, it was truly irresponsible of the Freelands to encourage him. She had previously avoided seriously discussing these issues with Gerald—his plate was already so full; but now he needed to step up. And she rang the bell.

“Tell Sir Gerald I'd like to see him, please, as soon as he gets back.”

“Please let Sir Gerald know that I’d like to see him as soon as he’s back.”

“Sir Gerald has just come in, my lady.”

“Sir Gerald just arrived, my lady.”

“Now, then!”

"Alright, then!"

Gerald Malloring—an excellent fellow, as could be seen from his face of strictly Norman architecture, with blue stained-glass windows rather deep set in—had only one defect: he was not a poet. Not that this would have seemed to him anything but an advantage, had he been aware of it. His was one of those high-principled natures who hold that breadth is synonymous with weakness. It may be said without exaggeration that the few meetings of his life with those who had a touch of the poet in them had been exquisitely uncomfortable. Silent, almost taciturn by nature, he was a great reader of poetry, and seldom went to sleep without having digested a page or two of Wordsworth, Milton, Tennyson, or Scott. Byron, save such poems as 'Don Juan' or 'The Waltz,' he could but did not read, for fear of setting a bad example. Burns, Shelley, and Keats he did not care for. Browning pained him, except by such things as: 'How They Brought the Good News from Ghent to Aix' and the 'Cavalier Tunes'; while of 'Omar Khayyam' and 'The Hound of Heaven' he definitely disapproved. For Shakespeare he had no real liking, though he concealed this, from humility in the face of accepted opinion. His was a firm mind, sure of itself, but not self-assertive. His points were so good, and he had so many of them, that it was only when he met any one touched with poetry that his limitations became apparent; it was rare, however, and getting more so every year, for him to have this unpleasant experience.

Gerald Malloring—an impressive guy, as shown by his classically Norman features, with deep-set blue eyes—had just one flaw: he wasn’t a poet. Not that he would have considered this anything but a plus if he’d known. He was one of those principled individuals who believed that being broad-minded meant being weak. It’s fair to say that the few times he met people with a poetic touch were incredibly uncomfortable for him. Naturally quiet and almost silent, he was an avid reader of poetry and usually went to bed having read a page or two of Wordsworth, Milton, Tennyson, or Scott. Byron, aside from works like 'Don Juan' or 'The Waltz,' he avoided reading out of concern for setting a bad example. He wasn’t a fan of Burns, Shelley, or Keats. Browning bothered him, except for pieces like 'How They Brought the Good News from Ghent to Aix' and the 'Cavalier Tunes'; as for 'Omar Khayyam' and 'The Hound of Heaven,' he completely disapproved. He didn’t truly like Shakespeare, although he hid this out of modesty towards popular opinion. He had a solid mind, confident in itself but not assertive. His arguments were so strong and he had so many of them that it was only when he encountered someone with a poetic sensibility that his shortcomings showed; however, these unpleasant encounters were rare and becoming even less frequent each year.

When summoned by his wife, he came in with a wrinkle between his straight brows; he had just finished a morning's work on a drainage scheme, like the really good fellow that he was. She greeted him with a little special smile. Nothing could be friendlier than the relations between these two. Affection and trust, undeviating undemonstrativeness, identity of feeling as to religion, children, property; and, in regard to views on the question of sex, a really strange unanimity, considering that they were man and woman.

When his wife called for him, he walked in with a crease between his straight brows; he had just wrapped up a morning's work on a drainage project, like the genuinely good person he was. She welcomed him with a warm, special smile. Nothing could be more friendly than the relationship between these two. There was affection and trust, unwavering simplicity, shared feelings about religion, kids, and finances; and, when it came to their views on sex, an unexpectedly strong agreement, especially given that they were a man and a woman.

“It's about these Gaunts, Gerald. I feel they must go at once. They're only creating bad feeling by staying till quarter day. I have had the young Freelands here.”

“It's about the Gaunts, Gerald. I think they need to leave immediately. Their presence is just causing tension by staying until payday. I've had the young Freelands here.”

“Those young pups!”

"Those young kids!"

“Can't it be managed?”

“Can’t it be handled?”

Malloring did not answer hastily. He had that best point of the good Englishman, a dislike to being moved out of a course of conduct by anything save the appeal of his own conscience.

Malloring didn't respond quickly. He had what every good Englishman should have: a strong aversion to being pushed off his path by anything other than the call of his own conscience.

“I don't know,” he said, “why we should alter what we thought was just. Must give him time to look round and get a job elsewhere.”

“I don’t know,” he said, “why we should change what we believed was right. We should give him time to look around and find a job somewhere else.”

“I think the general state of feeling demands it. It's not fair to the villagers to let the Freelands have such a handle for agitating. Labor's badly wanted everywhere; he can't have any difficulty in getting a place, if he likes.”

“I think the overall mood calls for it. It's not fair to the villagers to let the Freelands have such an advantage for stirring things up. There’s a huge demand for labor everywhere; he shouldn’t have any trouble finding a job if he wants one.”

“No. Only, I rather admire the fellow for sticking by his girl, though he is such a 'land-lawyer.' I think it's a bit harsh to move him suddenly.”

“No. I actually admire the guy for standing by his girl, even though he’s such a ‘land-lawyer.’ I think it’s a bit unfair to suddenly move him.”

“So did I, till I saw from those young furies what harm it's doing. They really do infect the cottagers. You know how discontent spreads. And Tryst—they're egging him on, too.”

“Same here, until I saw what damage those young troublemakers were causing. They really are poisoning the minds of the villagers. You know how discontent spreads. And Tryst—they’re pushing him along, too.”

Malloring very thoughtfully filled a pipe. He was not an alarmist; if anything, he erred on the side of not being alarmed until it was all over and there was no longer anything to be alarmed at! His imagination would then sometimes take fire, and he would say that such and such, or so and so, was dangerous.

Malloring carefully filled his pipe. He wasn't the type to panic; if anything, he tended to stay calm until everything was said and done and there was nothing left to worry about! Occasionally, his imagination would get the best of him, and he'd claim that some situation was risky or dangerous.

“I'd rather go and have a talk with Freeland,” he said. “He's queer, but he's not at all a bad chap.”

“I’d rather go and have a chat with Freeland,” he said. “He’s different, but he’s not a bad guy at all.”

Lady Malloring rose, and took one of his real-leather buttons in her hand.

Lady Malloring stood up and picked up one of his genuine leather buttons.

“My dear Gerald, Mr. Freeland doesn't exist.”

“My dear Gerald, Mr. Freeland isn't real.”

“Don't know about that; a man can always come to life, if he likes, in his own family.”

“Not sure about that; a person can always come alive, if they want to, in their own family.”

Lady Malloring was silent. It was true. For all their unanimity of thought and feeling, for all the latitude she had in domestic and village affairs, Gerald had a habit of filling his pipe with her decisions. Quite honestly, she had no objection to their becoming smoke through HIS lips, though she might wriggle just a little. To her credit, she did entirely carry out in her life her professed belief that husbands should be the forefronts of their wives. For all that, there burst from her lips the words:

Lady Malloring was quiet. It was true. Despite their shared thoughts and feelings, and all the freedom she had in home and community matters, Gerald often took her decisions and made them his own. Honestly, she didn’t mind him smoking them through his lips, although she might squirm a bit. To her credit, she fully lived by her stated belief that husbands should lead their wives. Still, the words came out of her mouth:

“That Freeland woman! When I think of the mischief she's always done here, by her example and her irreligion—I can't forgive her. I don't believe you'll make any impression on Mr. Freeland; he's entirely under her thumb.”

“That Freeland woman! When I think about all the trouble she's caused around here, through her influence and her lack of faith—I can’t forgive her. I don’t think you’ll have any effect on Mr. Freeland; he’s completely controlled by her.”

Smoking slowly, and looking just over the top of his wife's head, Malioring answered:

Smoking slowly and looking just over the top of his wife's head, Malioring replied:

“I'll have a try; and don't you worry!”

“I'll give it a shot; and don’t you worry!”

Lady Malloring turned away. Her soreness still wanted salve.

Lady Malloring turned away. Her hurt still needed healing.

“Those two young people,” she murmured, “said some very unpleasant things to me. The boy, I believe, might have some good in him, but the girl is simply terrible.”

“Those two young people,” she murmured, “said some really unpleasant things to me. The guy, I think, might have some good in him, but the girl is just terrible.”

“H'm! I think just the reverse, you know.”

“Hm! I think quite the opposite, you know.”

“They'll come to awful grief if they're not brought up sharp. They ought to be sent to the colonies to learn reality.”

“They're going to end up in serious trouble if they're not raised right. They should be sent to the colonies to get a taste of reality.”

Malloring nodded.

Malloring nodded.

“Come out, Mildred, and see how they're getting on with the new vinery.” And they went out together through the French window.

“Come out, Mildred, and see how they’re doing with the new greenhouse.” And they went out together through the French window.

The vinery was of their own designing, and of extraordinary interest. In contemplation of its lofty glass and aluminium-cased pipes the feeling of soreness left her. It was very pleasant, standing with Gerald, looking at what they had planned together; there was a soothing sense of reality about that visit, after the morning's happening, with its disappointment, its reminder of immorality and discontent, and of folk ungrateful for what was done for their good. And, squeezing her husband's arm, she murmured:

The winery was their own design and incredibly interesting. As she gazed at the tall glass and aluminum pipes, her feelings of discomfort faded away. It felt nice to stand with Gerald, admiring what they had created together; there was a calming sense of reality during that visit, especially after the disappointing events of the morning, which had reminded her of immorality, discontent, and people who were ungrateful for the help they received. Squeezing her husband's arm, she whispered:

“It's really exactly what we thought it would be, Gerald!”

“It's exactly what we expected it to be, Gerald!”





CHAPTER XIII

About five o'clock of that same afternoon, Gerald Malloring went to see Tod. An open-air man himself, who often deplored the long hours he was compelled to spend in the special atmosphere of the House of Commons, he rather envied Tod his existence in this cottage, crazed from age, and clothed with wistaria, rambler roses, sweetbrier, honeysuckle, and Virginia creeper. Freeland had, in his opinion, quite a jolly life of it—the poor fellow not being able, of course, to help having a cranky wife and children like that. He pondered, as he went along, over a talk at Becket, when Stanley, still under the influence of Felix's outburst, had uttered some rather queer sayings. For instance, he had supposed that they (meaning, apparently, himself and Malloring) WERE rather unable to put themselves in the position of these Trysts and Gaunts. He seemed to speak of them as one might speak generically of Hodge, which had struck Malloring as singular, it not being his habit to see anything in common between an individual case, especially on his own estate, and the ethics of a general proposition. The place for general propositions was undoubtedly the House of Commons, where they could be supported one way or the other, out of blue books. He had little use for them in private life, where innumerable things such as human nature and all that came into play. He had stared rather hard at his host when Stanley had followed up that first remark with: “I'm bound to say, I shouldn't care to have to get up at half past five, and go out without a bath!” What that had to do with the land problem or the regulation of village morality Malloring had been unable to perceive. It all depended on what one was accustomed to; and in any case threw no light on the question, as to whether or not he was to tolerate on his estate conduct of which his wife and himself distinctly disapproved. At the back of national life there was always this problem of individual conduct, especially sexual conduct—without regularity in which, the family, as the unit of national life, was gravely threatened, to put it on the lowest ground. And he did not see how to bring it home to the villagers that they had got to be regular, without making examples now and then.

About five o'clock that same afternoon, Gerald Malloring went to see Tod. An outdoor enthusiast himself, who often lamented the long hours he had to spend in the specific atmosphere of the House of Commons, he envied Tod's life in that old, overgrown cottage draped in wisteria, climbing roses, sweetbriar, honeysuckle, and Virginia creeper. He thought Freeland had quite a nice life, even if the poor guy couldn’t help having a difficult wife and kids like that. As he walked, he reflected on a conversation at Becket, when Stanley, still affected by Felix's outburst, had made some pretty strange comments. For example, he seemed to think that they (meaning, apparently, himself and Malloring) WERE somewhat unable to understand the situation of those Trysts and Gaunts. He spoke of them as one might talk generally about Hodge, which struck Malloring as odd since he usually didn’t see anything in common between a specific situation, especially on his estate, and the ethics of a general principle. The place for general propositions was definitely the House of Commons, where they could be backed up one way or another with data. He found little use for them in his personal life, where countless factors like human nature entered into the equation. He stared rather hard at his host when Stanley followed up that first comment by saying, “I must admit, I wouldn't like having to get up at half past five and go out without a shower!” Malloring couldn’t figure out what that had to do with the land problem or regulating village behavior. It all depended on what someone was used to; and in any case, it didn’t shed any light on whether he should tolerate behavior on his estate that he and his wife clearly disapproved of. Behind national life, there was always the issue of individual behavior, especially sexual conduct—without some regularity in which, the family, as the building block of national life, was seriously at risk, if we’re putting it mildly. And he didn’t see how to make the villagers understand that they needed to be regular without occasionally making examples of them.

He had hoped very much to get through his call without coming across Freeland's wife and children, and was greatly relieved to find Tod, seated on a window-sill in front of his cottage, smoking, and gazing apparently at nothing. In taking the other corner of the window-sill, the thought passed through his mind that Freeland was really a very fine-looking fellow. Tod was, indeed, about Malloring's own height of six feet one, with the same fairness and straight build of figure and feature. But Tod's head was round and massive, his hair crisp and uncut; Malloring's head long and narrow, his hair smooth and close-cropped. Tod's eyes, blue and deep-set, seemed fixed on the horizon, Malloring's, blue and deep-set, on the nearest thing they could light on. Tod smiled, as it were, without knowing; Malloring seemed to know what he was smiling at almost too well. It was comforting, however, that Freeland was as shy and silent as himself, for this produced a feeling that there could not be any real difference between their points of view. Perceiving at last that if he did not speak they would continue sitting there dumb till it was time for him to go, Malloring said:

He really hoped to get through his call without running into Freeland's wife and kids, and he was relieved to find Tod sitting on a window sill in front of his cottage, smoking and staring off into space. As he took the other corner of the window sill, he thought to himself that Freeland was actually a very good-looking guy. Tod was about Malloring's height of six feet one, and shared the same fair complexion and straight build. But Tod's head was round and strong, with crisp, uncut hair, while Malloring’s head was long and narrow, and his hair was smooth and closely cropped. Tod's blue, deep-set eyes seemed fixed on the horizon, while Malloring's, also blue and deep-set, focused on whatever was closest. Tod smiled almost absentmindedly, while Malloring seemed to understand exactly what he was smiling at. It was comforting, however, that Freeland was as shy and quiet as he was, which created a feeling that their perspectives couldn’t be too different. Realizing that if he didn’t speak, they would just sit there in silence until it was time for him to leave, Malloring said:

“Look here, Freeland; about my wife and yours and Tryst and the Gaunts, and all the rest of it! It's a pity, isn't it? This is a small place, you know. What's your own feeling?”

“Look here, Freeland; about my wife and yours and Tryst and the Gaunts, and everything else! It’s a shame, right? This is a small town, you know. What do you think?”

Tod answered:

Tod responded:

“A man has only one life.”

“A man has only one life.”

Malloring was a little puzzled.

Malloring was a bit confused.

“In this world. I don't follow.”

“In this world, I don't fit in.”

“Live and let live.”

"Live and let live."

A part of Malloring undoubtedly responded to that curt saying, a part of him as strongly rebelled against it; and which impulse he was going to follow was not at first patent.

A part of Malloring definitely reacted to that blunt statement, while another part of him strongly resisted it; which impulse he would ultimately follow wasn't clear at first.

“You see, YOU keep apart,” he said at last. “You couldn't say that so easily if you had, like us, to take up the position in which we find ourselves.”

“You see, YOU keep yourself distant,” he finally said. “You wouldn't be able to say that so easily if you had to take on the role we find ourselves in, like we do.”

“Why take it up?”

“Why bother with it?”

Malloring frowned. “How would things go on?”

Malloring frowned. “What would happen next?”

“All right,” said Tod.

“Okay,” said Tod.

Malloring got up from the sill. This was 'laisser-faire' with a vengeance! Such philosophy had always seemed to him to savor dangerously of anarchism. And yet twenty years' experience as a neighbor had shown him that Tod was in himself perhaps the most harmless person in Worcestershire, and held in a curious esteem by most of the people about. He was puzzled, and sat down again.

Malloring got up from the windowsill. This was 'laisser-faire' taken to the extreme! That kind of philosophy had always seemed to him to risk drifting into anarchism. And yet, after twenty years of living next to Tod, he had learned that Tod was probably the most harmless person in Worcestershire and was oddly respected by most of the locals. He was confused, so he sat down again.

“I've never had a chance to talk things over with you,” he said. “There are a good few people, Freeland, who can't behave themselves; we're not bees, you know!”

“I've never had the opportunity to discuss things with you,” he said. “There are quite a few people, Freeland, who can't control themselves; we're not bees, you know!”

He stopped, having an uncomfortable suspicion that his hearer was not listening.

He stopped, feeling an uncomfortable suspicion that the person he was speaking to wasn't listening.

“First I've heard this year,” said Tod.

“First I've heard this year,” Tod said.

For all the rudeness of that interruption, Malloring felt a stir of interest. He himself liked birds. Unfortunately, he could hear nothing but the general chorus of their songs.

For all the rudeness of that interruption, Malloring felt a spark of interest. He himself liked birds. Unfortunately, all he could hear was the general chorus of their songs.

“Thought they'd gone,” murmured Tod.

"Thought they were gone," murmured Tod.

Malloring again got up. “Look here, Freeland,” he said, “I wish you'd give your mind to this. You really ought not to let your wife and children make trouble in the village.”

Malloring got up again. “Listen, Freeland,” he said, “I really wish you’d think about this. You shouldn’t let your wife and kids cause trouble in the village.”

Confound the fellow! He was smiling; there was a sort of twinkle in his smile, too, that Malloring found infectious!

Confound the guy! He was smiling; there was a kind of sparkle in his smile, too, that Malloring found contagious!

“No, seriously,” he said, “you don't know what harm you mayn't do.”

“No, seriously,” he said, “you don't know what damage you might cause.”

“Have you ever watched a dog looking at a fire?” asked Tod.

“Have you ever seen a dog staring at a fire?” asked Tod.

“Yes, often; why?”

“Yes, frequently; why?”

“He knows better than to touch it.”

“He knows not to touch it.”

“You mean you're helpless? But you oughtn't to be.”

“You mean you're powerless? But you shouldn't be.”

The fellow was smiling again!

The guy was smiling again!

“Then you don't mean to do anything?”

“Then you don't plan to do anything?”

Tod shook his head.

Tod shook his head.

Malloring flushed. “Now, look here, Freeland,” he said, “forgive my saying so, but this strikes me as a bit cynical. D'you think I enjoy trying to keep things straight?”

Malloring flushed. “Now, listen, Freeland,” he said, “forgive me for saying this, but I think this seems a bit cynical. Do you think I like trying to keep things in order?”

Tod looked up.

Tod looked up.

“Birds,” he said, “animals, insects, vegetable life—they all eat each other more or less, but they don't fuss about it.”

“Birds,” he said, “animals, insects, plants—they all eat each other to some extent, but they don't make a big deal out of it.”

Malloring turned abruptly and went down the path. Fuss! He never fussed. Fuss! The word was an insult, addressed to him! If there was one thing he detested more than another, whether in public or private life, it was 'fussing.' Did he not belong to the League for Suppression of Interference with the Liberty of the Subject? Was he not a member of the party notoriously opposed to fussy legislation? Had any one ever used the word in connection with conduct of his, before? If so, he had never heard them. Was it fussy to try and help the Church to improve the standard of morals in the village? Was it fussy to make a simple decision and stick to it? The injustice of the word really hurt him. And the more it hurt him, the slower and more dignified and upright became his march toward his drive gate.

Malloring turned sharply and walked down the path. Fuss! He never fussed. Fuss! That word was an insult directed at him! If there was one thing he hated more than anything else, whether in public or private life, it was 'fussing.' Didn’t he belong to the League for Suppression of Interference with the Liberty of the Subject? Wasn’t he a member of the party famously against fussy legislation? Had anyone ever connected that word with his behavior before? If they had, he had never heard it. Was it fussy to try and help the Church improve the moral standards in the village? Was it fussy to make a straightforward decision and stick to it? The unfairness of the word really stung him. And the more it stung, the slower and more dignified and upright his walk toward the gate became.

'Wild geese' in the morning sky had been forerunners; very heavy clouds were sweeping up from the west, and rain beginning to fall. He passed an old man leaning on the gate of a cottage garden and said: “Good evening!”

'Wild geese' in the morning sky had been forerunners; very heavy clouds were rolling in from the west, and rain was starting to fall. He walked past an old man leaning on the gate of a cottage garden and said, “Good evening!”

The old man touched his hat but did not speak.

The old man tipped his hat but didn’t say anything.

“How's your leg, Gaunt?”

“How's your leg, Gaunt?”

“'Tis much the same, Sir Gerald.”

"'It's pretty much the same, Sir Gerald."

“Rain coming makes it shoot, I expect.”

“Rain is coming, so I expect it to start shooting.”

“It do.”

“It's doing.”

Malloring stood still. The impulse was on him to see if, after all, the Gaunts' affair could not be disposed of without turning the old fellow and his son out.

Malloring stood still. He felt the urge to find out if, after all, the Gaunts' situation could be resolved without throwing the old man and his son out.

“Look here!” he said; “about this unfortunate business. Why don't you and your son make up your minds without more ado to let your granddaughter go out to service? You've been here all your lives; I don't want to see you go.”

“Look here!” he said; “about this unfortunate situation. Why don’t you and your son just decide to let your granddaughter go work? You’ve lived here your whole lives; I don’t want to see you leave.”

The least touch of color invaded the old man's carved and grayish face.

The faintest hint of color appeared on the old man's carved, gray face.

“Askin' your pardon,” he said, “my son sticks by his girl, and I sticks by my son!”

“Asking your pardon,” he said, “my son stands by his girl, and I stand by my son!”

“Oh! very well; you know your own business, Gaunt. I spoke for your good.”

“Oh! fine; you know what’s best for you, Gaunt. I was just looking out for you.”

A faint smile curled the corners of old Gaunt's mouth downward beneath his gray moustaches.

A faint smile tugged at the corners of old Gaunt's mouth, causing them to turn down beneath his gray mustache.

“Thank you kindly,” he said.

“Thanks a lot,” he said.

Malloring raised a finger to his cap and passed on. Though he felt a longing to stride his feelings off, he did not increase his pace, knowing that the old man's eyes were following him. But how pig-headed they were, seeing nothing but their own point of view! Well, he could not alter his decision. They would go at the June quarter—not a day before, nor after.

Malloring tipped his cap and walked on. Even though he wanted to shake off his emotions, he didn’t speed up, aware that the old man was watching him. But how stubborn they were, only seeing things from their perspective! Still, he couldn't change his mind. They would leave at the June quarter—not a day before or after.

Passing Tryst's cottage, he noticed a 'fly' drawn up outside, and its driver talking to a woman in hat and coat at the cottage doorway. She avoided his eye.

Passing Tryst's cottage, he noticed a cab parked outside, and its driver talking to a woman in a hat and coat at the cottage doorway. She avoided his gaze.

'The wife's sister again!' he thought. 'So that fellow's going to be an ass, too? Hopeless, stubborn lot!' And his mind passed on to his scheme for draining the bottom fields at Cantley Bromage. This village trouble was too small to occupy for long the mind of one who had so many duties....

'The sister-in-law again!' he thought. 'So that guy's going to be a jerk, too? What a hopeless, stubborn bunch!' And his thoughts shifted to his plan for draining the bottom fields at Cantley Bromage. This village problem was too trivial to keep the attention of someone with so many responsibilities....

Old Gaunt remained at the gate watching till the tall figure passed out of sight, then limped slowly down the path and entered his son's cottage. Tom Gaunt, not long in from work, was sitting in his shirtsleeves, reading the paper—a short, thick-set man with small eyes, round, ruddy cheeks, and humorous lips indifferently concealed by a ragged moustache. Even in repose there was about him something talkative and disputatious. He was clearly the kind of man whose eyes and wit would sparkle above a pewter pot. A good workman, he averaged out an income of perhaps eighteen shillings a week, counting the two shillings' worth of vegetables that he grew. His erring daughter washed for two old ladies in a bungalow, so that with old Gaunt's five shillings from the parish, the total resources of this family of five, including two small boys at school, was seven and twenty shillings a week. Quite a sum! His comparative wealth no doubt contributed to the reputation of Tom Gaunt, well known as local wag and disturber of political meetings. His method with these gatherings, whether Liberal or Tory, had a certain masterly simplicity. By interjecting questions that could not be understood, and commenting on the answers received, he insured perpetual laughter, with the most salutary effects on the over-consideration of any political question, together with a tendency to make his neighbors say: “Ah! Tom Gaunt, he's a proper caution, he is!” An encomium dear to his ears. What he seriously thought about anything in this world, no one knew; but some suspected him of voting Liberal, because he disturbed their meetings most. His loyalty to his daughter was not credited to affection. It was like Tom Gaunt to stick his toes in and kick—the Quality, for choice. To look at him and old Gaunt, one would not have thought they could be son and father, a relationship indeed ever dubious. As for his wife, she had been dead twelve years. Some said he had joked her out of life, others that she had gone into consumption. He was a reader—perhaps the only one in all the village, and could whistle like a blackbird. To work hard, but without too great method, to drink hard, but with perfect method, and to talk nineteen to the dozen anywhere except at home—was his mode of life. In a word, he was a 'character.'

Old Gaunt stayed at the gate watching until the tall figure disappeared from view, then slowly limped down the path and entered his son's cottage. Tom Gaunt, recently back from work, was sitting in his shirtsleeves reading the paper—a short, stocky man with small eyes, round, rosy cheeks, and humorous lips partially hidden by a messy mustache. Even when he was calm, he had a chatty and argumentative vibe. He was definitely the kind of guy whose eyes and wit would light up a pub. A solid worker, he made about eighteen shillings a week, including the two shillings’ worth of vegetables he grew. His wayward daughter did laundry for two elderly ladies in a bungalow, so with old Gaunt's five shillings from the parish, the total income for this family of five, which included two young boys in school, was twenty-seven shillings a week. Quite a bit! His relative wealth likely added to Tom Gaunt's reputation as a local jokester and disruptor of political meetings. His approach to these events, whether Liberal or Tory, had a clever simplicity. By throwing in questions that no one could understand and commenting on the responses, he ensured constant laughter, which effectively distracted from any serious political discussion, often making his neighbors say, “Ah! Tom Gaunt, he's a real character!” A compliment he cherished. No one really knew what he believed about anything in the world, but some thought he voted Liberal because he disrupted their meetings the most. His loyalty to his daughter wasn’t seen as affection. It was typical of Tom Gaunt to poke fun and stir things up—especially against the upper class. If you looked at him and old Gaunt, you wouldn't think they were father and son, a relationship that was always questionable. His wife had been dead for twelve years. Some said he joked her to death, while others claimed she died of consumption. He was a reader—maybe the only one in the whole village—and could whistle like a blackbird. He lived by working hard, but without much organization, drinking hard, but with perfect control, and talking a lot anywhere but at home. In short, he was a 'character.'

Old Gaunt sat down in a wooden rocking-chair, and spoke.

Old Gaunt sat down in a wooden rocking chair and spoke.

“Sir Gerald 'e've a-just passed.”

"Sir Gerald has just passed."

“Sir Gerald 'e can goo to hell. They'll know un there, by 'is little ears.”

“Sir Gerald can go to hell. They'll know him there by his little ears.”

“'E've a-spoke about us stoppin'; so as Mettie goes out to sarvice.”

“'We've talked about us stopping; since Mettie is going out to work.”

“'E've a-spoke about what 'e don't know 'bout, then. Let un do what they like, they can't put Tom Gaunt about; he can get work anywhere—Tom Gaunt can, an' don't you forget that, old man.”

“He's talked about what he doesn't understand, then. Let them do what they want; they can't put Tom Gaunt down; he can find work anywhere—Tom Gaunt can, and don't you forget that, old man.”

The old man, placing his thin brown hands on his knees, was silent. And thoughts passed through and through him. 'If so be as Tom goes, there'll be no one as'll take me in for less than three bob a week. Two bob a week, that's what I'll 'ave to feed me—Two bob a week—two bob a week! But if so be's I go with Tom, I'll 'ave to reg'lar sit down under he for me bread and butter.' And he contemplated his son.

The old man, resting his thin brown hands on his knees, was silent. Thoughts raced through his mind. 'If Tom leaves, there’s no way anyone will take me in for less than three bucks a week. Two bucks a week, that’s what I’ll need for food—Two bucks a week—two bucks a week! But if I go with Tom, I’ll have to rely on him for my living.' And he looked at his son.

“Where are you goin', then?” he said.

“Where are you going, then?” he said.

Tom Gaunt rustled the greenish paper he was reading, and his little, hard gray eyes fixed his father.

Tom Gaunt shuffled the greenish paper he was reading, and his small, sharp gray eyes focused on his father.

“Who said I was going?”

"Who said I was going?"

Old Gaunt, smoothing and smoothing the lined, thin cheeks of the parchmenty, thin-nosed face that Frances Freeland had thought to be almost like a gentleman's, answered: “I thart you said you was goin'.”

Old Gaunt, smoothing and smoothing the lined, thin cheeks of the parchmenty, thin-nosed face that Frances Freeland had thought to be almost like a gentleman's, replied: “I thought you said you were going.”

“You think too much, then—that's what 'tis. You think too much, old man.”

“You overthink things, that’s what it is. You overthink things, old man.”

With a slight deepening of the sardonic patience in his face, old Gaunt rose, took a bowl and spoon down from a shelf, and very slowly proceeded to make himself his evening meal. It consisted of crusts of bread soaked in hot water and tempered with salt, pepper, onion, and a touch of butter. And while he waited, crouched over the kettle, his son smoked his grayish clay and read his greenish journal; an old clock ticked and a little cat purred without provocation on the ledge of the tight-closed window. Then the door opened and the rogue-girl appeared. She shook her shoulders as though to dismiss the wetting she had got, took off her turn-down, speckly, straw hat, put on an apron, and rolled up her sleeves. Her arms were full and firm and red; the whole of her was full and firm. From her rosy cheeks to her stout ankles she was superabundant with vitality, the strangest contrast to her shadowy, thin old grandfather. About the preparation of her father's tea she moved with a sort of brooding stolidity, out of which would suddenly gleam a twinkle of rogue-sweetness, as when she stopped to stroke the little cat or to tickle the back of her grandfather's lean neck in passing. Having set the tea, she stood by the table and said slowly: “Tea's ready, father. I'm goin' to London.”

With a slightly deeper sardonic patience on his face, old Gaunt rose, took a bowl and spoon from a shelf, and very slowly began preparing his evening meal. It consisted of crusts of bread soaked in hot water and seasoned with salt, pepper, onion, and a bit of butter. While he waited, hunched over the kettle, his son smoked his grayish clay pipe and read his greenish journal; an old clock ticked, and a little cat purred contentedly on the ledge of the tightly closed window. Then the door opened and the mischievous girl appeared. She shook her shoulders as if to shake off the wetness she had just gotten, took off her patterned straw hat, put on an apron, and rolled up her sleeves. Her arms were full, firm, and red; everything about her was robust. From her rosy cheeks to her sturdy ankles, she radiated vitality, a stark contrast to her shadowy, thin old grandfather. As she prepared her father's tea, she moved with a sort of heavy calmness, from which would suddenly shine a hint of playful sweetness, like when she paused to pet the little cat or tickle the back of her grandfather's lean neck as she passed. After making the tea, she stood by the table and said slowly, “Tea's ready, father. I'm going to London.”

Tom Gaunt put down his pipe and journal, took his seat at the table, filled his mouth with sausage, and said: “You're goin' where I tell you.”

Tom Gaunt set down his pipe and journal, took his seat at the table, stuffed his mouth with sausage, and said: “You’re going where I tell you.”

“I'm goin' to London.”

"I'm going to London."

Tom Gaunt stayed the morsel in one cheek and fixed her with his little, wild boar's eye.

Tom Gaunt held the bite of food in one cheek and looked at her with his small, wild boar-like eye.

“Ye're goin' to catch the stick,” he said. “Look here, my girl, Tom Gaunt's been put about enough along of you already. Don't you make no mistake.”

“You're going to get the stick,” he said. “Listen up, my girl, Tom Gaunt has already been troubled enough because of you. Don't you make any mistakes.”

“I'm goin' to London,” repeated the rogue-girl stolidly. “You can get Alice to come over.”

“I'm going to London,” the rogue girl said firmly. “You can have Alice come over.”

“Oh! Can I? Ye're not goin' till I tell you. Don't you think it!”

“Oh! Can I? You're not leaving until I tell you. Don't even think about it!”

“I'm goin'. I saw Mr. Derek this mornin'. They'll get me a place there.”

“I'm leaving. I saw Mr. Derek this morning. They'll find me a place there.”

Tom Gaunt remained with his fork as it were transfixed. The effort of devising contradiction to the chief supporters of his own rebellion was for the moment too much for him. He resumed mastication.

Tom Gaunt stayed frozen with his fork in hand. The struggle to argue against the main supporters of his own rebellion was just too overwhelming for him at that moment. He went back to eating.

“You'll go where I want you to go; and don't you think you can tell me where that is.”

“You'll go where I want you to go, and don’t think you can tell me where that is.”

In the silence that ensued the only sound was that of old Gaunt supping at his crusty-broth. Then the rogue-girl went to the window and, taking the little cat on her breast, sat looking out into the rain. Having finished his broth, old Gaunt got up, and, behind his son's back, he looked at his granddaughter and thought:

In the silence that followed, the only sound was old Gaunt eating his thick soup. The mischievous girl then went to the window and, holding the little cat against her chest, sat looking out at the rain. After finishing his soup, old Gaunt stood up and, behind his son's back, glanced at his granddaughter and thought:

'Goin' to London! 'Twud be best for us all. WE shudn' need to be movin', then. Goin' to London!' But he felt desolate.

'Going to London! It would be best for all of us. We shouldn't have to be moving, then. Going to London!' But he felt alone.





CHAPTER XIV

When Spring and first love meet in a girl's heart, then the birds sing.

When spring and first love come together in a girl's heart, that's when the birds sing.

The songs that blackbirds and dusty-coated thrushes flung through Nedda's window when she awoke in Hampstead those May mornings seemed to have been sung by herself all night. Whether the sun were flashing on the leaves, or rain-drops sieving through on a sou'west wind, the same warmth glowed up in her the moment her eyes opened. Whether the lawn below were a field of bright dew, or dry and darkish in a shiver of east wind, her eyes never grew dim all day; and her blood felt as light as ostrich feathers.

The songs that blackbirds and dusty-coated thrushes sent through Nedda's window when she woke up in Hampstead those May mornings felt like they had been sung by her all night. Whether the sun was shining on the leaves or raindrops were falling on a southwest wind, the same warmth filled her the moment her eyes opened. Whether the lawn below was covered in bright dew or dry and dark from a cold east wind, her eyes stayed bright all day; and her blood felt as light as ostrich feathers.

Stormed by an attack of his cacoethes scribendi, after those few blank days at Becket, Felix saw nothing amiss with his young daughter. The great observer was not observant of things that other people observed. Neither he nor Flora, occupied with matters of more spiritual importance, could tell, offhand, for example, on which hand a wedding-ring was worn. They had talked enough of Becket and the Tods to produce the impression on Flora's mind that one day or another two young people would arrive in her house on a visit; but she had begun a poem called 'Dionysus at the Well,' and Felix himself had plunged into a satiric allegory entitled 'The Last of the Laborers.' Nedda, therefore, walked alone; but at her side went always an invisible companion. In that long, imaginary walking-out she gave her thoughts and the whole of her heart, and to be doing this never surprised her, who, before, had not given them whole to anything. A bee knows the first summer day and clings intoxicated to its flowers; so did Nedda know and cling. She wrote him two letters and he wrote her one. It was not poetry; indeed, it was almost all concerned with Wilmet Gaunt, asking Nedda to find a place in London where the girl could go; but it ended with the words:

Stormed by an urge to write after those few quiet days in Becket, Felix saw nothing wrong with his young daughter. The great observer didn’t notice things that others did. Neither he nor Flora, focused on deeper matters, could easily tell, for example, which hand a wedding ring was worn on. They had talked enough about Becket and the Tods to make Flora think that eventually two young people would come to visit her house; but she had started a poem called 'Dionysus at the Well,' and Felix was deep into a satirical allegory he titled 'The Last of the Laborers.' So, Nedda walked alone, yet always had an invisible companion at her side. During those long, imaginary walks, she poured out her thoughts and her whole heart, which didn’t surprise her—previously, she hadn’t given them fully to anything. A bee knows the first day of summer and happily clings to its flowers; so did Nedda know and hold on. She wrote him two letters, and he replied with one. It wasn’t poetry; in fact, it mostly revolved around Wilmet Gaunt, asking Nedda to find a place in London where the girl could go; but it ended with the words:

“Your lover,

“Your partner,

“DEREK.”

“Derek.”

This letter troubled Nedda. She would have taken it at once to Felix or to Flora if it had not been for the first words, “Dearest Nedda,” and those last three. Except her mother, she instinctively distrusted women in such a matter as that of Wilmet Gaunt, feeling they would want to know more than she could tell them, and not be too tolerant of what they heard. Casting about, at a loss, she thought suddenly of Mr. Cuthcott.

This letter bothered Nedda. She would have shown it immediately to Felix or Flora if it hadn't started with "Dearest Nedda" and ended with those last three words. Except for her mother, she instinctively didn't trust women in situations like the one involving Wilmet Gaunt, sensing they would want to know more than she could share and wouldn't be very accepting of what they heard. Feeling uncertain, she suddenly thought of Mr. Cuthcott.

At dinner that day she fished round carefully. Felix spoke of him almost warmly. What Cuthcott could have been doing at Becket, of all places, he could not imagine—the last sort of man one expected to see there; a good fellow, rather desperate, perhaps, as men of his age were apt to get if they had too many women, or no woman, about them.

At dinner that day, she carefully tried to find out more. Felix talked about him almost fondly. He couldn’t figure out what Cuthcott could possibly be doing at Becket of all places; he was the last type of guy one would expect to see there—a decent guy, maybe a bit desperate, like men his age often became if they were surrounded by too many women or had no woman at all.

Which, said Nedda, had Mr. Cuthcott?

Which, Nedda said, did Mr. Cuthcott have?

Oh! None. How had he struck Nedda? And Felix looked at his little daughter with a certain humble curiosity. He always felt that the young instinctively knew so much more than he did.

Oh! None. How had he upset Nedda? And Felix looked at his little daughter with a sense of humble curiosity. He always felt that the young instinctively knew so much more than he did.

“I liked him awfully. He was like a dog.”

“I really liked him. He reminded me of a dog.”

“Ah!” said Felix, “he IS like a dog—very honest; he grins and runs about the city, and might be inclined to bay the moon.”

“Ah!” said Felix, “he IS like a dog—very honest; he smiles and darts around the city, and might even be tempted to howl at the moon.”

'I don't mind that,' Nedda thought, 'so long as he's not “superior.”'

'I don't mind that,' Nedda thought, 'as long as he's not acting “superior.”'

“He's very human,” Felix added.

"He's very human," Felix said.

And having found out that he lived in Gray's Inn, Nedda thought: 'I will; I'll ask him.'

And after discovering that he lived in Gray's Inn, Nedda thought, "I will; I'll ask him."

To put her project into execution, she wrote this note:

To start her project, she wrote this note:

“DEAR MR. CUTHCOTT:

“Dear Mr. Cuthcott:

“You were so kind as to tell me you wouldn't mind if I bothered you about things. I've got a very bothery thing to know what to do about, and I would be so glad of your advice. It so happens that I can't ask my father and mother. I hope you won't think me very horrible, wasting your time. And please say no, if you'd rather.

“You were kind enough to let me know that you wouldn't mind if I reached out to you about things. I have something really bothering me that I need advice on, and I would really appreciate your help. Unfortunately, I can't ask my parents. I hope you won't think I'm terrible for taking up your time. And please feel free to say no if you'd prefer."

“Yours sincerely,

"Best regards,"

“NEDDA FREELAND.”

“Nedda Freeland.”

The answer came:

The response arrived:

“DEAR MISS FREELAND:

"Dear Miss Freeland:"

“Delighted. But if very bothery, better save time and ink, and have a snack of lunch with me to-morrow at the Elgin restaurant, close to the British Museum. Quiet and respectable. No flowers by request. One o'clock.

“Glad to hear it. But if it’s really bothering, it’s better to save time and ink, and just join me for lunch tomorrow at the Elgin restaurant, near the British Museum. It’s quiet and nice. No flowers, please. One o'clock."

“Very truly yours,

Sincerely,

“GILES CUTHCOTT.”

“Giles Cuthcott.”

Putting on 'no flowers' and with a fast-beating heart, Nedda, went on her first lonely adventure. To say truth she did not know in the least how ever she was going to ask this almost strange man about a girl of doubtful character. But she kept saying to herself: 'I don't care—he has nice eyes.' And her spirit would rise as she got nearer, because, after all, she was going to find things out, and to find things out was jolly. The new warmth and singing in her heart had not destroyed, but rather heightened, her sense of the extraordinary interest of all things that be. And very mysterious to her that morning was the kaleidoscope of Oxford Street and its innumerable girls, and women, each going about her business, with a life of her own that was not Nedda's. For men she had little use just now, they had acquired a certain insignificance, not having gray-black eyes that smoked and flared, nor Harris tweed suits that smelled delicious. Only once on her journey from Oxford Circus she felt the sense of curiosity rise in her, in relation to a man, and this was when she asked a policeman at Tottenham Court Road, and he put his head down fully a foot to listen to her. So huge, so broad, so red in the face, so stolid, it seemed wonderful to her that he paid her any attention! If he were a human being, could she really be one, too? But that, after all, was no more odd than everything. Why, for instance, the spring flowers in that woman's basket had been born; why that high white cloud floated over; why and what was Nedda Freeland?

Putting on 'no flowers' and with a racing heart, Nedda went on her first solo adventure. To be honest, she had no idea how she was going to ask this nearly stranger about a girl of questionable character. But she kept telling herself, 'I don't care—he has nice eyes.' Her spirits lifted as she got closer because, after all, she was about to find things out, and discovering things was exciting. The new warmth and joy in her heart hadn't taken away, but rather intensified, her sense of the fascinating nature of everything around her. That morning, the vibrant scene of Oxford Street and its countless girls and women, each busy with their own lives that weren't Nedda’s, struck her as very mysterious. At the moment, men mattered little to her; they felt somewhat insignificant, lacking the deep-set gray-black eyes that smoldered and the Harris tweed suits that smelled amazing. Only once during her trip from Oxford Circus did she feel a hint of curiosity about a man, and that was when she asked a policeman at Tottenham Court Road, who bent down nearly a foot to listen to her. So big, so broad, so red-faced, and so serious, it amazed her that he paid her any attention! If he was a human being, could she really be one, too? But that wasn’t any stranger than everything else. Why, for instance, had the spring flowers in that woman’s basket been born? Why did that high white cloud float above? And who exactly was Nedda Freeland?

At the entrance of the little restaurant she saw Mr. Cuthcott waiting. In a brown suit, with his pale but freckled face, and his gnawed-at, sandy moustache, and his eyes that looked out and beyond, he was certainly no beauty. But Nedda thought: 'He's even nicer than I remembered, and I'm sure he knows a lot.'

At the entrance of the small restaurant, she saw Mr. Cuthcott waiting. In a brown suit, with his pale but freckled face, his chewed-up sandy mustache, and his eyes that looked out and beyond, he was definitely not a looker. But Nedda thought, 'He's even nicer than I remembered, and I'm sure he knows a lot.'

At first, to be sitting opposite to him, in front of little plates containing red substances and small fishes, was so exciting that she simply listened to his rapid, rather stammering voice mentioning that the English had no idea of life or cookery, that God had so made this country by mistake that everything, even the sun, knew it. What, however, would she drink? Chardonnet? It wasn't bad here.

At first, sitting across from him, with small plates of red sauces and tiny fish in front of her, was so thrilling that she just listened to his fast, somewhat stammering voice as he complained that the English had no understanding of life or cooking, and that God had mistakenly created this country, so much so that even the sun was aware of it. But what was she going to drink? Chardonnet? It wasn't bad here.

She assented, not liking to confess that she did not know what Chardonnet might be, and hoping it was some kind of sherbet. She had never yet drunk wine, and after a glass felt suddenly extremely strong.

She agreed, not wanting to admit that she had no idea what Chardonnet might be, and hoping it was some kind of sherbet. She had never drunk wine before, and after one glass, she suddenly felt very powerful.

“Well,” said Mr. Cuthcott, and his eyes twinkled, “what's your botheration? I suppose you want to strike out for yourself. MY daughters did that without consulting me.”

“Well,” said Mr. Cuthcott, his eyes sparkling, “what’s bothering you? I guess you want to go your own way. My daughters did that without asking me.”

“Oh! Have you got daughters?”

“Oh! Do you have daughters?”

“Yes—funny ones; older than you.”

"Yeah—funny ones; older than you."

“That's why you understand, then.”

“That’s why you get it, then.”

Mr. Cuthcott smiled. “They WERE a liberal education!”

Mr. Cuthcott smiled. “They were a great education!”

And Nedda thought: 'Poor Dad, I wonder if I am!'

And Nedda thought, "Poor Dad, I wonder if I am!"

“Yes,” Mr. Cuthcott murmured, “who would think a gosling would ever become a goose?”

“Yes,” Mr. Cuthcott murmured, “who would think a gosling would ever grow into a goose?”

“Ah!” said Nedda eagerly, “isn't it wonderful how things grow?”

“Ah!” said Nedda excitedly, “isn’t it amazing how things grow?”

She felt his eyes suddenly catch hold of hers.

She felt his eyes suddenly lock onto hers.

“You're in love!” he said.

"You're in love!" he said.

It seemed to her a great piece of luck that he had found that out. It made everything easy at once, and her words came out pell-mell.

It felt like a stroke of luck to her that he had discovered that. It made everything easy all of a sudden, and her words came tumbling out.

“Yes, and I haven't told my people yet. I don't seem able. He's given me something to do, and I haven't much experience.”

“Yes, and I haven't told my team yet. I just can't seem to do it. He's assigned me something, and I don't have much experience.”

A funny little wriggle passed over Mr. Cuthcott's face. “Yes, yes; go on! Tell us about it.”

A funny little twitch crossed Mr. Cuthcott's face. “Yes, yes; keep going! Tell us about it.”

She took a sip from her glass, and the feeling that he had been going to laugh passed away.

She took a sip from her glass, and the feeling that he was about to laugh faded away.

“It's about the daughter of a laborer, down there in Worcestershire, where he lives, not very far from Becket. He's my cousin, Derek, the son of my other uncle at Joyfields. He and his sister feel most awfully strongly about the laborers.”

“It's about the daughter of a worker, down there in Worcestershire, where he lives, not too far from Becket. He's my cousin, Derek, the son of my other uncle at Joyfields. He and his sister really care deeply about the workers.”

“Ah!” said Mr. Cuthcott, “the laborers! Queer how they're in the air, all of a sudden.”

“Ah!” said Mr. Cuthcott, “the workers! It's strange how they're just everywhere all of a sudden.”

“This girl hasn't been very good, and she has to go from the village, or else her family have. He wants me to find a place for her in London.”

“This girl hasn't been behaving well, and she needs to leave the village or her family does. He wants me to find her a place in London.”

“I see; and she hasn't been very good?”

“I see; so she hasn't been very good?”

“Not very.” She knew that her cheeks were flushing, but her eyes felt steady, and seeing that his eyes never moved, she did not mind. She went on:

“Not really.” She knew her cheeks were turning red, but her eyes felt steady, and since his eyes didn’t shift, she didn’t mind. She continued:

“It's Sir Gerald Malloring's estate. Lady Malloring—won't—”

“It's Sir Gerald Malloring's estate. Lady Malloring—won't—”

She heard a snap. Mr. Cuthcott's mouth had closed.

She heard a snap. Mr. Cuthcott's mouth had shut.

“Oh!” he said, “say no more!”

“Oh!” he said, “don’t say anything else!”

'He CAN bite nicely!' she thought.

'He can bite nicely!' she thought.

Mr. Cuthcott, who had begun lightly thumping the little table with his open hand, broke out suddenly:

Mr. Cuthcott, who had started casually tapping the little table with his open hand, suddenly exclaimed:

“That petty bullying in the country! I know it! My God! Those prudes, those prisms! They're the ruination of half the girls on the—” He looked at Nedda and stopped short. “If she can do any kind of work, I'll find her a place. In fact, she'd better come, for a start, under my old housekeeper. Let your cousin know; she can turn up any day. Name? Wilmet Gaunt? Right you are!” He wrote it on his cuff.

“That petty bullying in the country! I know it! Oh my God! Those prudes, those stuck-up types! They're ruining half the girls around here—” He looked at Nedda and abruptly stopped. “If she can do any kind of work, I'll find her a job. Actually, she should come work with my old housekeeper to start. Let your cousin know; she can show up any day. Name? Wilmet Gaunt? Got it!” He wrote it on his cuff.

Nedda rose to her feet, having an inclination to seize his hand, or stroke his head, or something. She subsided again with a fervid sigh, and sat exchanging with him a happy smile. At last she said:

Nedda got up, feeling the urge to take his hand, or pat his head, or something like that. She sat back down with a heartfelt sigh and shared a happy smile with him. Finally, she said:

“Mr. Cuthcott, is there any chance of things like that changing?”

“Mr. Cuthcott, is there any chance that things like that will change?”

“Changing?” He certainly had grown paler, and was again lightly thumping the table. “Changing? By gum! It's got to change! This d—d pluto-aristocratic ideal! The weed's so grown up that it's choking us. Yes, Miss Freeland, whether from inside or out I don't know yet, but there's a blazing row coming. Things are going to be made new before long.”

“Changing?” He had definitely gotten paler, and was once again lightly banging on the table. “Changing? By golly! It has to change! This damned pluto-aristocratic ideal! The weed has grown so wild that it's suffocating us. Yes, Miss Freeland, whether it's from within or from outside, I’m not sure yet, but there’s a huge fight coming. Things are going to be made new before long.”

Under his thumps the little plates had begun to rattle and leap. And Nedda thought: 'I DO like him.'

Under his thumps, the little plates started to rattle and jump. And Nedda thought, 'I really like him.'

But she said anxiously:

But she said nervously:

“You believe there's something to be done, then? Derek is simply full of it; I want to feel like that, too, and I mean to.”

“You think there's something we can do, then? Derek is just full of it; I want to feel that way, too, and I plan to.”

His face grew twinkly; he put out his hand. And wondering a little whether he meant her to, Nedda timidly stretched forth her own and grasped it.

His face lit up; he reached out his hand. Uncertain about whether he wanted her to, Nedda hesitantly extended her own and took it.

“I like you,” he said. “Love your cousin and don't worry.”

“I like you,” he said. “Love your cousin and don't stress about it.”

Nedda's eyes slipped into the distance.

Nedda's gaze drifted off into the distance.

“But I'm afraid for him. If you saw him, you'd know.”

“But I'm worried about him. If you saw him, you'd understand.”

“One's always afraid for the fellows that are worth anything. There was another young Freeland at your uncle's the other night—”

“One's always worried about the guys who actually matter. There was another young Freeland at your uncle's the other night—”

“My brother Alan!”

"My brother, Alan!"

“Oh! your brother? Well, I wasn't afraid for him, and it seemed a pity. Have some of this; it's about the only thing they do well here.”

“Oh! Your brother? Well, I wasn’t worried about him, and it felt unfortunate. Try some of this; it’s pretty much the only thing they do well here.”

“Oh, thank you, no. I've had a lovely lunch. Mother and I generally have about nothing.” And clasping her hands she added:

“Oh, thank you, but no. I had a really nice lunch. My mom and I usually talk about just about anything.” And clasping her hands, she added:

“This is a secret, isn't it, Mr. Cuthcott?”

“This is a secret, right, Mr. Cuthcott?”

“Dead.”

“Deceased.”

He laughed and his face melted into a mass of wrinkles. Nedda laughed also and drank up the rest of her wine. She felt blissful.

He laughed and his face turned into a bunch of wrinkles. Nedda laughed too and finished her wine. She felt incredibly happy.

“Yes,” said Mr. Cuthcott, “there's nothing like loving. How long have you been at it?”

“Yes,” said Mr. Cuthcott, “there's nothing like love. How long have you been doing it?”

“Only five days, but it's everything.”

“Just five days, but it means everything.”

Mr. Cuthcott sighed. “That's right. When you can't love, the only thing is to hate.”

Mr. Cuthcott sighed. “That's right. When you can't love, the only thing you can do is hate.”

“Oh!” said Nedda.

“Oh!” Nedda exclaimed.

Mr. Cuthcott again began banging on the little table. “Look at them, look at them!” His eyes wandered angrily about the room, wherein sat some few who had passed though the mills of gentility. “What do they know of life? Where are their souls and sympathies? They haven't any. I'd like to see their blood flow, the silly brutes.”

Mr. Cuthcott started banging on the small table again. “Look at them, look at them!” His eyes angrily scanned the room, where a few people who had gone through the filters of society were sitting. “What do they know about life? Where are their souls and feelings? They have none. I’d like to see their blood spill, those foolish animals.”

Nedda looked at them with alarm and curiosity. They seemed to her somewhat like everybody she knew. She said timidly: “Do you think OUR blood ought to flow, too?”

Nedda looked at them with both alarm and curiosity. They appeared to her to be a bit like everyone she knew. She said hesitantly, “Do you think OUR blood should flow, too?”

Mr. Cuthcott relapsed into twinkles. “Rather! Mine first!”

Mr. Cuthcott fell back into twinkles. “Absolutely! Mine first!”

'He IS human!' thought Nedda. And she got up: “I'm afraid I ought to go now. It's been awfully nice. Thank you so very much. Good-by!”

'He is human!' thought Nedda. And she got up: “I think I should probably head out now. It's been really nice. Thank you so much. Goodbye!”

He shook her firm little hand with his frail thin one, and stood smiling till the restaurant door cut him off from her view.

He shook her small, firm hand with his frail, thin one and smiled until the restaurant door blocked his view of her.

The streets seemed so gorgeously full of life now that Nedda's head swam. She looked at it all with such absorption that she could not tell one thing from another. It seemed rather long to the Tottenham Court Road, though she noted carefully the names of all the streets she passed, and was sure she had not missed it. She came at last to one called POULTRY. 'Poultry!' she thought; 'I should have remembered that—Poultry?' And she laughed. It was so sweet and feathery a laugh that the driver of an old four-wheeler stopped his horse. He was old and anxious-looking, with a gray beard and deep folds in his red cheeks.

The streets felt vibrantly alive now that Nedda's head was spinning. She was so engrossed in everything around her that she couldn’t distinguish one thing from another. It felt like a long way to Tottenham Court Road, although she carefully noted the names of all the streets she passed and was sure she hadn’t missed it. Finally, she arrived at one called POULTRY. 'Poultry!' she thought; 'I should have remembered that—Poultry?' And she laughed. It was such a sweet and lighthearted laugh that the driver of an old four-wheeler stopped his horse. He was old and looked worried, with a gray beard and deep wrinkles in his red cheeks.

“Poultry!” she said. “Please, am I right for the Tottenham Court Road?”

“Poultry!” she said. “Excuse me, am I on the right track for Tottenham Court Road?”

The old man answered: “Glory, no, miss; you're goin' East!”

The old man replied, “Definitely not, miss; you’re heading East!”

'East!' thought Nedda; 'I'd better take him.' And she got in. She sat in the four-wheeler, smiling. And how far this was due to Chardonnet she did not consider. She was to love and not worry. It was wonderful! In this mood she was put down, still smiling, at the Tottenham Court Road Tube, and getting out her purse she prepared to pay the cabman. The fare would be a shilling, but she felt like giving him two. He looked so anxious and worn, in spite of his red face. He took them, looked at her, and said: “Thank you, miss; I wanted that.”

'East!' thought Nedda; 'I'd better take him.' And she got in. She sat in the cab, smiling. She didn't really think about how much of this joy was because of Chardonnet. She was meant to love and not worry. It felt amazing! In this mood, she was dropped off, still smiling, at the Tottenham Court Road Tube, and as she took out her wallet, she got ready to pay the driver. The fare would be a shilling, but she felt like giving him two. He looked so anxious and worn, despite his red face. He took the money, looked at her, and said: “Thank you, miss; I needed that.”

“Oh!” murmured Nedda, “then please take this, too. It's all I happen to have, except my Tube fare.”

“Oh!” murmured Nedda, “then please take this, too. It's all I have, except for my Tube fare.”

The old man took it, and water actually ran along his nose.

The old man took it, and water really ran down his nose.

“God bless yer!” he said. And taking up his whip, he drove off quickly.

“God bless you!” he said. Then, grabbing his whip, he quickly drove away.

Rather choky, but still glowing, Nedda descended to her train. It was not till she was walking to the Spaniard's Road that a cloud seemed to come over her sky, and she reached home dejected.

Rather choked up, but still radiant, Nedda made her way to her train. It wasn't until she was walking to Spaniard's Road that a cloud seemed to cover her mood, and she got home feeling down.

In the garden of the Freelands' old house was a nook shut away by berberis and rhododendrons, where some bees were supposed to make honey, but, knowing its destination, and belonging to a union, made no more than they were obliged. In this retreat, which contained a rustic bench, Nedda was accustomed to sit and read; she went there now. And her eyes began filling with tears. Why must the poor old fellow who had driven her look so anxious and call on God to bless her for giving him that little present? Why must people grow old and helpless, like that Grandfather Gaunt she had seen at Becket? Why was there all the tyranny that made Derek and Sheila so wild? And all the grinding poverty that she herself could see when she went with her mother to their Girls' Club, in Bethnal Green? What was the use of being young and strong if nothing happened, nothing was really changed, so that one got old and died seeing still the same things as before? What was the use even of loving, if love itself had to yield to death? The trees! How they grew from tiny seeds to great and beautiful things, and then slowly, slowly dried and decayed away to dust. What was the good of it all? What comfort was there in a God so great and universal that he did not care to keep her and Derek alive and loving forever, and was not interested enough to see that the poor old cab-driver should not be haunted day and night with fear of the workhouse for himself and an old wife, perhaps? Nedda's tears fell fast, and how far THIS was Chardonnet no one could tell.

In the garden of the Freelands' old house was a corner hidden away by berberis and rhododendrons, where some bees were meant to make honey, but knowing where it was going and being part of a collective, they produced only what they had to. In this spot, which had a rustic bench, Nedda usually sat to read; she went there now. And her eyes started filling with tears. Why did the poor old man who had driven her look so worried and call on God to bless her for giving him that small gift? Why did people have to grow old and helpless, like that Grandfather Gaunt she had seen at Becket? Why was there all the oppression that made Derek and Sheila so restless? And all the crushing poverty that she could see whenever she went with her mother to their Girls' Club in Bethnal Green? What was the point of being young and strong if nothing changed, if one just grew old and died seeing the same things as before? What was the use even of love, if love itself had to give in to death? The trees! How they grew from tiny seeds into great and beautiful things, and then slowly, bit by bit, dried up and turned to dust. What was the good of it all? What comfort was there in a God so vast and universal that he didn’t care to keep her and Derek alive and loving forever, and wasn’t interested enough to ensure that the poor old cab-driver wouldn’t be plagued day and night with fear of the workhouse for himself and maybe an old wife? Nedda's tears fell quickly, and how far THIS was Chardonnet no one could say.

Felix, seeking inspiration from the sky in regard to 'The Last of the Laborers,' heard a noise like sobbing, and, searching, found his little daughter sitting there and crying as if her heart would break. The sight was so unusual and so utterly disturbing that he stood rooted, quite unable to bring her help. Should he sneak away? Should he go for Flora? What should he do? Like many men whose work keeps them centred within themselves, he instinctively avoided everything likely to pain or trouble him; for this reason, when anything did penetrate those mechanical defences he became almost strangely tender. Loath, for example, to believe that any one was ill, if once convinced of it, he made so good a nurse that Flora, at any rate, was in the habit of getting well with suspicious alacrity. Thoroughly moved now, he sat down on the bench beside Nedda, and said:

Felix, looking for inspiration from the sky for 'The Last of the Laborers,' heard a sound like sobbing and, upon investigating, found his little daughter sitting there, crying as if her heart would break. The scene was so strange and deeply upsetting that he stood frozen, completely unable to help her. Should he sneak away? Should he go get Flora? What should he do? Like many men whose work keeps them focused on themselves, he instinctively avoided anything that might cause him pain or discomfort; for this reason, when anything did break through those mechanical defenses, he became almost unusually tender. Reluctant to believe anyone was sick, but once convinced, he became such a good nurse that Flora, at least, was known to recover with suspicious speed. Deeply affected now, he sat down on the bench next to Nedda and said:

“My darling!”

"My love!"

She leaned her forehead against his arm and sobbed the more.

She leaned her forehead against his arm and cried even harder.

Felix waited, patting her far shoulder gently.

Felix waited, softly patting her shoulder.

He had often dealt with such situations in his books, and now that one had come true was completely at a loss. He could not even begin to remember what was usually said or done, and he only made little soothing noises.

He had often faced situations like this in his books, and now that one had come true, he was totally at a loss. He couldn’t even start to recall what was typically said or done, and he just made some quiet, calming sounds.

To Nedda this tenderness brought a sudden sharp sense of guilt and yearning. She began:

To Nedda, this affection sparked a sudden, intense feeling of guilt and longing. She began:

“It's not because of that I'm crying, Dad, but I want you to know that Derek and I are in love.”

“It's not because of that I'm crying, Dad, but I want you to know that Derek and I are in love.”

The words: 'You! What! In those few days!' rose, and got as far as Felix's teeth; he swallowed them and went on patting her shoulder. Nedda in love! He felt blank and ashy. That special feeling of owning her more than any one else, which was so warming and delightful, so really precious—it would be gone! What right had she to take it from him, thus, without warning! Then he remembered how odious he had always said the elderly were, to spoke the wheels of youth, and managed to murmur:

The words: 'You! What! In those few days!' came to Felix's mind but got stuck in his throat; he swallowed them and kept patting her shoulder. Nedda in love! He felt empty and gray. That special feeling of having her more than anyone else, which was so comforting and lovely, so truly valuable—it would be gone! What right did she have to take that away from him, just like that, without any warning! Then he remembered how awful he had always said older people were, to slow down the wheels of youth, and somehow managed to murmur:

“Good luck to you, my pretty!”

“Good luck to you, my beautiful!”

He said it, conscious that a father ought to be saying:

He said it, knowing that a father should be saying:

'You're much too young, and he's your cousin!' But what a father ought to say appeared to him just then both sensible and ridiculous. Nedda rubbed her cheek against his hand.

'You're way too young, and he's your cousin!' But what a father should say seemed to him at that moment both sensible and absurd. Nedda rubbed her cheek against his hand.

“It won't make any difference, Dad, I promise you!”

“It won't make any difference, Dad, I promise!”

And Felix thought: 'Not to you, only to me!' But he said:

And Felix thought: 'Not to you, only to me!' But he said:

“Not a scrap, my love! What WERE you crying about?”

“Not a shred, my love! What were you crying about?”

“About the world; it seems so heartless.”

“About the world; it feels so cruel.”

And she told him about the water that had run along the nose of the old four-wheeler man.

And she told him about the water that had flowed along the nose of the old four-wheeler guy.

But while he seemed to listen, Felix thought: 'I wish to God I were made of leather; then I shouldn't feel as if I'd lost the warmth inside me. I mustn't let her see. Fathers ARE queer—I always suspected that. There goes my work for a good week!' Then he answered:

But while he appeared to listen, Felix thought: 'I wish to God I were made of leather; then I wouldn't feel like I've lost the warmth inside me. I can't let her see. Dads are strange—I always suspected that. There goes my work for a whole week!' Then he replied:

“No, my dear, the world is not heartless; it's only arranged according to certain necessary contraries: No pain, no pleasure; no dark, no light, and the rest of it. If you think, it couldn't be arranged differently.”

“No, my dear, the world isn’t heartless; it’s just set up according to certain necessary opposites: no pain, no pleasure; no darkness, no light, and so on. If you think about it, it couldn't be arranged any other way.”

As he spoke a blackbird came running with a chuckle from underneath the berberis, looked at them with alarm, and ran back. Nedda raised her face.

As he talked, a blackbird dashed out with a chuckle from under the berberis, glanced at them in alarm, and hurried back. Nedda lifted her face.

“Dad, I mean to do something with my life!”

“Dad, I want to make something of my life!”

Felix answered:

Felix replied:

“Yes. That's right.”

"Yes, that's right."

But long after Nedda had fallen into dreams that night, he lay awake, with his left foot enclosed between Floras', trying to regain that sense of warmth which he knew he must never confess to having lost.

But long after Nedda had fallen asleep that night, he lay awake, with his left foot tucked between Flora's, trying to recapture that feeling of warmth that he knew he could never admit to having lost.





CHAPTER XV

Flora took the news rather with the air of a mother-dog that says to her puppy: “Oh, very well, young thing! Go and stick your teeth in it and find out for yourself!” Sooner or later this always happened, and generally sooner nowadays. Besides, she could not help feeling that she would get more of Felix, to her a matter of greater importance than she gave sign of. But inwardly the news had given her a shock almost as sharp as that felt by him. Was she really the mother of one old enough to love? Was the child that used to cuddle up to her in the window-seat to be read to, gone from her; that used to rush in every morning at all inconvenient moments of her toilet; that used to be found sitting in the dark on the stairs, like a little sleepy owl, because, for-sooth, it was so 'cosey'?

Flora took the news with the attitude of a mother dog saying to her puppy: “Oh, fine, young one! Go ahead and chew on it and see for yourself!” Sooner or later this always happened, and usually sooner these days. Plus, she couldn’t help but feel that she’d get more of Felix, which was more important to her than she showed. But inside, the news had hit her with a shock almost as intense as his. Was she really the mother of someone old enough to love? Was the child who used to cuddle up to her in the window seat for storytime gone from her; the one who used to rush in every morning at the most inconvenient times while she was getting ready; the one who was often found sitting in the dark on the stairs, like a little sleepy owl, simply because it was so 'cozy'?

Not having seen Derek, she did not as yet share her husband's anxiety on that score, though his description was dubious:

Not having seen Derek, she didn’t yet share her husband’s worry about that, even though his description was questionable:

“Upstanding young cockerel, swinging his sporran and marching to pipes—a fine spurn about him! Born to trouble, if I know anything, trying to sweep the sky with his little broom!”

“Straighten yourself up, young rooster, swinging your purse and strutting to the music—what a sight you are! Made for mischief, if you ask me, trying to sweep the sky with your tiny broom!”

“Is he a prig?”

"Is he a snob?"

“No-o. There's simplicity about his scorn, and he seems to have been brought up on facts, not on literature, like most of these young monkeys. The cousinship I don't think matters; Kirsteen brings in too strong an out-strain. He's HER son, not Tod's. But perhaps,” he added, sighing, “it won't last.”

“No. There's something straightforward about his scorn, and he seems to have been raised on facts, not on literature, like most of these young people. I don't think the family connection matters; Kirsteen brings in too much of a different influence. He's HER son, not Tod's. But maybe,” he added, sighing, “it won't last.”

Flora shook her head. “It will last!” she said; “Nedda's deep.”

Flora shook her head. “It will last!” she said, “Nedda's insightful.”

And if Nedda held, so would Fate; no one would throw Nedda over! They naturally both felt that. 'Dionysus at the Well,' no less than 'The Last of the Laborers,' had a light week of it.

And if Nedda stood firm, so would Fate; no one would abandon Nedda! They both felt that way, clearly. 'Dionysus at the Well,' just like 'The Last of the Laborers,' had an easy week.

Though in a sense relieved at having parted with her secret, Nedda yet felt that she had committed desecration. Suppose Derek should mind her people knowing!

Though in a way she felt relieved to have let go of her secret, Nedda still felt like she had done something wrong. What if Derek cared that her family knew?

On the day that he and Sheila were to come, feeling she could not trust herself to seem even reasonably calm, she started out, meaning to go to the South Kensington Museum and wander the time away there; but once out-of-doors the sky seemed what she wanted, and, turning down the hill on the north side, she sat down under a gorse bush. Here tramps, coming in to London, passed the night under the stars; here was a vision, however dim, of nature. And nature alone could a little soothe her ecstatic nerves.

On the day that he and Sheila were supposed to meet, feeling that she couldn't trust herself to appear even somewhat calm, she headed out, planning to go to the South Kensington Museum and spend her time there; but once outside, the sky felt like what she needed, so she turned down the hill on the north side and sat under a gorse bush. Here, travelers, coming into London, passed the night under the stars; here was a glimpse, however vague, of nature. And nature alone could help ease her frayed nerves a bit.

How would he greet her? Would he be exactly as he was when they stood at the edge of Tod's orchard, above the dreamy, darkening fields, joining hands and lips, moved as they had never been moved before?

How would he say hi to her? Would he be just like he was when they stood at the edge of Tod's orchard, above the dreamy, darkening fields, holding hands and kissing, feeling things they'd never felt before?

May blossom was beginning to come out along the hedge of the private grounds that bordered that bit of Cockney Common, and from it, warmed by the sun, the scent stole up to her. Familiar, like so many children of the cultured classes, with the pagan and fairy-tales of nature, she forgot them all the moment she was really by herself with earth and sky. In their breadth, their soft and stirring continuity, they rejected bookish fancy, and woke in her rapture and yearning, a sort of long delight, a never-appeased hunger. Crouching, hands round knees, she turned her face to get the warmth of the sun, and see the white clouds go slowly by, and catch all the songs that the birds sang. And every now and then she drew a deep breath. It was true what Dad had said: There was no real heartlessness in nature. It was warm, beating, breathing. And if things ate each other, what did it matter? They had lived and died quickly, helping to make others live. The sacred swing and circle of it went on forever, full and harmonious under the lighted sky, under the friendly stars. It was wonderful to be alive! And all done by love. Love! More, more, more love! And then death, if it must come! For, after all, to Nedda death was so far away, so unimaginably dim and distant, that it did not really count.

May blossom was starting to bloom along the hedge of the private grounds that bordered a patch of Cockney Common, and from it, warmed by the sun, the scent floated up to her. Familiar, like so many kids from affluent backgrounds, with the pagan and fairy tales of nature, she forgot them all the moment she was truly alone with the earth and sky. In their vastness, their soft and stirring continuity, they dismissed bookish fantasies and awakened in her rapture and longing, a kind of deep joy, a never-ending hunger. Crouching, hands around her knees, she faced the sun to soak in its warmth, to watch the white clouds drift slowly by, and to capture all the songs that the birds sang. Every now and then, she took a deep breath. It was true what Dad had said: there was no real coldness in nature. It was warm, beating, breathing. And if things consumed each other, what did it matter? They lived and died quickly, helping others to live. The sacred rhythm and cycle of it went on forever, full and harmonious under the bright sky, under the welcoming stars. It was amazing to be alive! And all thanks to love. Love! More, more, more love! And then death, if it had to come! Because, after all, for Nedda, death felt so far away, so unimaginably vague and distant, that it didn’t really count.

While she sat, letting her fingers, that were growing slowly black, scrabble the grass and fern, a feeling came on her of a Presence, a creature with wings above and around, that seemed to have on its face a long, mysterious smile of which she, Nedda, was herself a tiny twinkle. She would bring Derek here. They two would sit together and let the clouds go over them, and she would learn all that he really thought, and tell him all her longings and fears; they would be silent, too, loving each other too much to talk. She made elaborate plans of what they were to do and see, beginning with the East End and the National Gallery, and ending with sunrise from Parliament Hill; but she somehow knew that nothing would happen as she had designed. If only the first moment were not different from what she hoped!

While she sat there, letting her fingers, which were slowly turning black, brush against the grass and ferns, she felt a Presence, a creature with wings above and around her, seeming to wear a long, mysterious smile, of which she, Nedda, was just a tiny spark. She wanted to bring Derek here. They would sit together and watch the clouds pass by, and she would discover everything he truly thought, sharing all her dreams and fears with him; they would also be quiet, loving each other too much to say anything. She made detailed plans for what they would do and see, starting with the East End and the National Gallery, and ending with watching the sunrise from Parliament Hill; but she somehow knew that nothing would go as she had imagined. If only that first moment weren’t different from what she hoped!

She sat there so long that she rose quite stiff, and so hungry that she could not help going home and stealing into the kitchen. It was three o'clock, and the old cook, as usual, asleep in an armchair, with her apron thrown up between her face and the fire. What would Cookie say if she knew? In that oven she had been allowed to bake in fancy perfect little doll loaves, while Cookie baked them in reality. Here she had watched the mysterious making of pink cream, had burned countless 'goes' of toffy, and cocoanut ice; and tasted all kinds of loveliness. Dear old Cookie! Stealing about on tiptoe, seeking what she might devour, she found four small jam tarts and ate them, while the cook snored softly. Then, by the table, that looked so like a great loaf-platter, she stood contemplating cook. Old darling, with her fat, pale, crumply face! Hung to the dresser, opposite, was a little mahogany looking-glass tilted forward. Nedda could see herself almost down to her toes. 'I mean to be prettier than I am!' she thought, putting her hands on her waist. 'I wonder if I can pull them in a bit!' Sliding her fingers under her blouse, she began to pull at certain strings. They would not budge. They were loose, yes, really too comfortable. She would have to get the next size smaller! And dropping her chin, she rubbed it on the lace edging of her chest, where it felt warm and smelled piny. Had Cookie ever been in love? Her gray hairs were coming, poor old duck! The windows, where a protection of wire gauze kept out the flies, were opened wide, and the sun shone in and dimmed the fire. The kitchen clock ticked like a conscience; a faint perfume of frying-pan and mint scented the air. And, for the first time since this new sensation of love had come to her, Nedda felt as if a favorite book, read through and done with, were dropping from her hands. The lovely times in that kitchen, in every nook of that old house and garden, would never come again! Gone! She felt suddenly cast down to sadness. They HAD been lovely times! To be deserting in spirit all that had been so good to her—it seemed like a crime! She slid down off the table and, passing behind the cook, put her arms round those substantial sides. Without meaning to, out of sheer emotion, she pressed them somewhat hard, and, as from a concertina emerges a jerked and drawn-out chord, so from the cook came a long, quaking sound; her apron fell, her body heaved, and her drowsy, flat, soft voice, greasy from pondering over dishes, murmured:

She sat there for so long that when she got up, she felt really stiff, and she was so hungry that she couldn't resist sneaking home and tiptoeing into the kitchen. It was three o'clock, and the old cook was, as usual, dozing in an armchair, with her apron thrown up between her face and the fire. What would Cookie say if she knew? In that oven, she had baked perfect little doll loaves while Cookie made them for real. She had watched the mysterious process of creating pink cream, had burnt countless batches of toffee and coconut ice, and had tasted all sorts of delicious treats. Dear old Cookie! Quietly sneaking around, searching for something to eat, she found four small jam tarts and devoured them while the cook snored softly. Then, by the table, which looked like a giant loaf platter, she stood contemplating the cook. Old dear, with her plump, pale, crinkly face! Hanging on the dresser across from her was a little mahogany mirror tilted forward. Nedda could see herself almost down to her toes. 'I want to be prettier than I am!' she thought, putting her hands on her hips. 'I wonder if I can pull my waist in a little!' Sliding her fingers under her blouse, she began to tug at certain strings. They wouldn't budge. They were loose, yes, really too comfortable. She’d need to get the next size smaller! Dropping her chin, she rubbed it against the lace trim of her blouse, which felt warm and smelled piney. Had Cookie ever been in love? Her gray hairs were coming in, poor old duck! The windows, protected by wire mesh to keep out flies, were opened wide, letting the sun shine in and dimming the fire. The kitchen clock ticked softly, like a conscience; a faint scent of frying and mint filled the air. And for the first time since this new sensation of love had taken hold of her, Nedda felt as if a beloved book she had finished reading was slipping from her fingers. The wonderful times in that kitchen, in every corner of that old house and garden, were gone forever! She felt a sudden wave of sadness wash over her. They HAD been wonderful times! Deserting in spirit all that had been so good to her felt like a crime! She slid off the table and, passing behind the cook, wrapped her arms around her solid sides. Without meaning to, out of pure emotion, she squeezed them a bit tight, and just like the sound that comes from a concertina, the cook let out a long, quivering sound; her apron slipped, her body shook, and her sleepy, soft, grease-laden voice, worn from thinking about meals, murmured:

“Ah, Miss Nedda! it's you, my dear! Bless your pretty 'eart.”

“Ah, Miss Nedda! It’s you, my dear! Bless your pretty heart.”

But down Nedda's cheeks, behind her, rolled two tears.

But two tears rolled down Nedda's cheeks, behind her.

“Cookie, oh, Cookie!” And she ran out....

“Cookie, oh, Cookie!” And she ran out....

And the first moment? It was like nothing she had dreamed of. Strange, stiff! One darting look, and then eyes down; one convulsive squeeze, then such a formal shake of hot, dry hands, and off he had gone with Felix to his room, and she with Sheila to hers, bewildered, biting down consternation, trying desperately to behave 'like a little lady,' as her old nurse would have put it—before Sheila, especially, whose hostility she knew by instinct she had earned. All that evening, furtive watching, formal talk, and underneath a ferment of doubt and fear and longing. All a mistake! An awful mistake! Did he love her? Heaven! If he did not, she could never face any one again. He could not love her! His eyes were like those of a swan when its neck is drawn up and back in anger. Terrible—having to show nothing, having to smile at Sheila, at Dad, and Mother! And when at last she got to her room, she stood at the window and at first simply leaned her forehead against the glass and shivered. What had she done? Had she dreamed it all—dreamed that they had stood together under those boughs in the darkness, and through their lips exchanged their hearts? She must have dreamed it! Dreamed that most wonderful, false dream! And the walk home in the thunder-storm, and his arm round her, and her letters, and his letter—dreamed it all! And now she was awake! From her lips came a little moan, and she sank down huddled, and stayed there ever so long, numb and chilly. Undress—go to bed? Not for the world. By the time the morning came she had got to forget that she had dreamed. For very shame she had got to forget that; no one should see. Her cheeks and ears and lips were burning, but her body felt icy cold. Then—what time she did not know at all—she felt she must go out and sit on the stairs. They had always been her comforters, those wide, shallow, cosey stairs. Out and down the passage, past all their rooms—his the last—to the dark stairs, eerie at night, where the scent of age oozed out of the old house. All doors below, above, were closed; it was like looking down into a well, to sit with her head leaning against the banisters. And silent, so silent—just those faint creakings that come from nowhere, as it might be the breathing of the house. She put her arms round a cold banister and hugged it hard. It hurt her, and she embraced it the harder. The first tears of self-pity came welling up, and without warning a great sob burst out of her. Alarmed at the sound, she smothered her mouth with her arm. No good; they came breaking out! A door opened; all the blood rushed to her heart and away from it, and with a little dreadful gurgle she was silent. Some one was listening. How long that terrible listening lasted she had no idea; then footsteps, and she was conscious that it was standing in the dark behind her. A foot touched her back. She gave a little gasp. Derek's voice whispered hoarsely:

And the first moment? It was unlike anything she had imagined. Strange, stiff! A quick glance, and then her eyes were down; one tight squeeze, then such a formal handshake with his hot, dry hand, and off he went with Felix to his room, while she went with Sheila to hers, feeling lost, suppressing her anxiety, trying hard to act 'like a little lady,' as her old nurse would have said—especially in front of Sheila, whose hostility she instinctively knew she had provoked. All that evening was filled with secret watching, formal conversation, and beneath it all, a whirlpool of doubt, fear, and longing. It felt like a mistake! An awful mistake! Did he love her? Oh my! If he didn't, she could never face anyone again. He couldn't possibly love her! His eyes were like a swan's when its neck is pulled back in anger. It was terrible—pretending to feel nothing, forcing herself to smile at Sheila, at Dad, and at Mom! Finally, when she reached her room, she stood by the window, leaning her forehead against the glass at first and shivering. What had she done? Had she imagined it all—imagined standing with him under those branches in the dark, sharing their hearts through their lips? She must have dreamed it! Dreamed that most amazing, false dream! And the walk home in the thunderstorm, his arm around her, her letters, his letter—she had dreamed it all! And now she was awake! A little moan slipped from her lips, and she sank down, curled up, and stayed there for a long time, numb and cold. Undress—go to bed? No way. By morning, she had to forget she had dreamed. Out of sheer embarrassment, she had to forget that; no one should see. Her cheeks, ears, and lips were burning, but her body felt icy cold. Then—she had no idea what time it was—she felt she needed to go out and sit on the stairs. Those wide, shallow, cozy stairs had always been her comfort. She went out and down the hall, past all their rooms—his was the last—to the dark stairs, eerie at night, where the scent of age seeped from the old house. All the doors above and below were closed; sitting with her head against the banister felt like looking down into a well. And it was so silent—just those faint creaks that seemed to come from nowhere, like the house's breathing. She wrapped her arms around a cold banister and hugged it tightly. It hurt her, and she held on even tighter. The first tears of self-pity began to flow, and suddenly a big sob escaped her. Startled by the sound, she covered her mouth with her arm. No use; more tears broke free! A door opened; all the blood rushed to her heart and away from it, and with a little dreadful gasp, she fell silent. Someone was listening. She had no idea how long that terrifying silence lasted; then footsteps, and she realized someone was standing in the dark behind her. A foot brushed against her back. She gasped. Derek's voice whispered hoarsely:

“What? Who are you?”

“Who are you?”

And, below her breath, she answered: “Nedda.”

And, under her breath, she replied: “Nedda.”

His arms wrenched her away from the banister, his voice in her ear said:

His arms pulled her away from the banister, his voice in her ear said:

“Nedda, darling, Nedda!”

“Nedda, sweetheart, Nedda!”

But despair had sunk too deep; she could only quiver and shake and try to drive sobbing out of her breath. Then, most queer, not his words, nor the feel of his arms, comforted her—any one could pity!—but the smell and the roughness of his Norfolk jacket. So he, too, had not been in bed; he, too, had been unhappy! And, burying her face in his sleeve, she murmured:

But despair had settled in too deeply; she could only tremble and shake and try to stifle her sobs. Then, strangely, it wasn't his words or the sensation of his arms that comforted her—anyone could offer pity!—but rather the smell and texture of his Norfolk jacket. So he, too, hadn't been in bed; he, too, had been unhappy! And, burying her face in his sleeve, she murmured:

“Oh, Derek! Why?”

"Oh, Derek! Why'd you do this?"

“I didn't want them all to see. I can't bear to give it away. Nedda, come down lower and let's love each other!”

“I didn’t want them all to see. I can’t handle giving it away. Nedda, come down lower and let’s love each other!”

Softly, stumbling, clinging together, they went down to the last turn of the wide stairs. How many times had she not sat there, in white frocks, her hair hanging down as now, twisting the tassels of little programmes covered with hieroglyphics only intelligible to herself, talking spasmodically to spasmodic boys with budding 'tails,' while Chinese lanterns let fall their rose and orange light on them and all the other little couples as exquisitely devoid of ease. Ah! it was worth those hours of torture to sit there together now, comforting each other with hands and lips and whisperings. It was more, as much more than that moment in the orchard, as sun shining after a Spring storm is more than sun in placid mid-July. To hear him say: “Nedda, I love you!” to feel it in his hand clasped on her heart was much more, now that she knew how difficult it was for him to say or show it, except in the dark with her alone. Many a long day they might have gone through together that would not have shown her so much of his real heart as that hour of whispering and kisses.

Softly, stumbling, clinging to each other, they made their way down to the last turn of the wide stairs. How many times had she sat there, in white dresses, her hair hanging down like it was now, fiddling with the tassels of little programs covered in symbols that only made sense to her, chatting nervously with fidgety boys with budding mustaches, while Chinese lanterns cast their pink and orange light on them and all the other young couples who were just as awkward. Ah! It was worth all those painful hours to be sitting there together now, comforting each other with their hands, lips, and whispers. It was so much more than that moment in the orchard; it was like feeling the sun shine after a spring storm compared to a calm summer day in July. Hearing him say, “Nedda, I love you!” and feeling his hand clasped over her heart was so much more now that she understood how hard it was for him to express his feelings, except when they were alone in the dark. Many a long day they might have endured together wouldn’t have revealed as much of his true feelings as that hour of whispers and kisses.

He had known she was unhappy, and yet he couldn't! It had only made him more dumb! It was awful to be like that! But now that she knew, she was glad to think that it was buried so deep in him and kept for her alone. And if he did it again she would just know that it was only shyness and pride. And he was not a brute and a beast, as he insisted. But suppose she had chanced not to come out! Would she ever have lived through the night? And she shivered.

He knew she was unhappy, but he just couldn't express it! It only left him feeling more confused! It was terrible to be that way! But now that she was aware, she felt good knowing it was buried so deep inside him and kept just for her. If he ever did it again, she would understand that it was just shyness and pride. He wasn't a brute or a monster, despite what he claimed. But what if she hadn’t decided to come out? Would she have made it through the night? And she shivered.

“Are you cold, darling? Put on my coat.”

“Are you cold, babe? Put on my jacket.”

It was put on her in spite of all effort to prevent him. Never was anything so warm, so delicious, wrapping her in something more than Harris tweed. And the hall clock struck—Two!

It was placed on her despite all attempts to stop him. Never had anything felt so warm, so delightful, enveloping her in something beyond just Harris tweed. And the hall clock chimed—Two!

She could just see his face in the glimmer that filtered from the skylight at the top. And she felt that he was learning her, learning all that she had to give him, learning the trust that was shining through her eyes. There was just enough light for them to realize the old house watching from below and from above—a glint on the dark floor there, on the dark wall here; a blackness that seemed to be inhabited by some spirit, so that their hands clutched and twitched, when the tiny, tiny noises of Time, playing in wood and stone, clicked out.

She could barely make out his face in the light that came through the skylight at the top. She felt like he was getting to know her, understanding everything she had to offer, recognizing the trust shining in her eyes. There was just enough light for them to notice the old house observing them from below and above—a glimmer on the dark floor there, on the dark wall here; a darkness that seemed to be alive with some spirit, making their hands clutch and twitch as the faint, faint sounds of Time played in the wood and stone, clicking away.

That stare of the old house, with all its knowledge of lives past, of youth and kisses spent and gone, of hopes spun and faiths abashed, the old house cynical, stirred in them desire to clutch each other close and feel the thrill of peering out together into mystery that must hold for them so much of love and joy and trouble! And suddenly she put her fingers to his face, passed them softly, clingingly, over his hair, forehead, eyes, traced the sharp cheek-bones down to his jaw, round by the hard chin up to his lips, over the straight bone of his nose, lingering, back, to his eyes again.

That gaze from the old house, filled with knowledge of lives lived long ago, of youth and stolen kisses, of hopes created and dreams diminished, the old house seemed cynical, igniting in them a desire to hold each other tight and feel the excitement of peering together into the mystery that must contain so much love, joy, and trouble! And suddenly she reached out, touching his face, her fingers passing softly and tenderly over his hair, forehead, eyes, tracing the sharp lines of his cheekbones down to his jaw, around his firm chin to his lips, over the straight line of his nose, lingering briefly before returning to his eyes.

“Now, if I go blind, I shall know you. Give me one kiss, Derek. You MUST be tired.”

“Now, if I go blind, I’ll still know you. Give me a kiss, Derek. You MUST be tired.”

Buried in the old dark house that kiss lasted long; then, tiptoeing—she in front—pausing at every creak, holding breath, they stole up to their rooms. And the clock struck—Three!

Buried in the old dark house, that kiss lasted a long time; then, tiptoeing—she in front—pausing at every creak and holding their breath, they sneaked up to their rooms. And the clock struck—Three!





CHAPTER XVI

Felix (nothing if not modern) had succumbed already to the feeling that youth ruled the roost. Whatever his misgivings, his and Flora's sense of loss, Nedda must be given a free hand! Derek gave no outward show of his condition, and but for his little daughter's happy serenity Felix would have thought as she had thought that first night. He had a feeling that his nephew rather despised one so soaked in mildness and reputation as Felix Freeland; and he got on better with Sheila, not because she was milder, but because she was devoid of that scornful tang which clung about her brother. No! Sheila was not mild. Rich-colored, downright of speech, with her mane of short hair, she was a no less startling companion. The smile of Felix had never been more whimsically employed than during that ten-day visit. The evening John Freeland came to dinner was the highwater mark of his alarmed amusement. Mr. Cuthcott, also bidden, at Nedda's instigation, seemed to take a mischievous delight in drawing out those two young people in face of their official uncle. The pleasure of the dinner to Felix—and it was not too great—was in watching Nedda's face. She hardly spoke, but how she listened! Nor did Derek say much, but what he did say had a queer, sarcastic twinge about it.

Felix, being quite modern, had already started to feel that youth was in charge. Despite his concerns and the sense of loss he and Flora felt, Nedda needed to be given more freedom! Derek showed no signs of his condition, and if it weren't for his little daughter's cheerful calmness, Felix would have thought exactly what she had thought that first night. He sensed that his nephew looked down on someone as gentle and well-regarded as Felix Freeland; he connected better with Sheila, not because she was gentler, but because she lacked the scornful edge that surrounded her brother. No! Sheila was not gentle. Vibrant, straightforward in her speech, with her short hair, she was no less an unexpected companion. Felix had never used his smile more playfully than during that ten-day visit. The night John Freeland came to dinner was the peak of his anxious amusement. Mr. Cuthcott, also invited at Nedda's suggestion, seemed to take mischievous pleasure in prompting those two young people in front of their formal uncle. The joy of the dinner for Felix—and it wasn’t too much—was watching Nedda’s expression. She barely spoke, but she listened intently! Derek didn’t say much either, but his words carried a strange, sarcastic twist.

“An unpleasant young man,” was John's comment afterward. “How the deuce did he ever come to be Tod's son? Sheila, of course, is one of these hot-headed young women that make themselves a nuisance nowadays, but she's intelligible. By the way, that fellow Cuthcott's a queer chap!”

“An annoying young man,” was John's comment afterward. “How on earth did he end up being Tod's son? Sheila, of course, is one of those hot-headed young women that are a pain these days, but at least she makes sense. By the way, that guy Cuthcott is a strange dude!”

One subject of conversation at dinner had been the morality of revolutionary violence. And the saying that had really upset John had been Derek's: “Conflagration first—morality afterward!” He had looked at his nephew from under brows which a constant need for rejecting petitions to the Home Office had drawn permanently down and in toward the nose, and made no answer.

One topic of conversation at dinner had been the ethics of revolutionary violence. The comment that really bothered John was Derek's: “Fire and chaos first—morality later!” He had looked at his nephew with brows that were always furrowed from constantly rejecting requests to the Home Office, and said nothing in response.

To Felix these words had a more sinister significance. With his juster appreciation both of the fiery and the official points of view, his far greater insight into his nephew than ever John would have, he saw that they were more than a mere arrow of controversy. And he made up his mind that night that he would tackle his nephew and try to find out exactly what was smouldering within that crisp, black pate.

To Felix, these words carried a darker meaning. With his more accurate understanding of both the passionate and the official perspectives, and his much deeper insight into his nephew than John ever would have, he realized that they were more than just a spark of disagreement. That night, he decided to confront his nephew and find out what was really brewing in that sharp, black head of his.

Following him into the garden next morning, he said to himself: 'No irony—that's fatal. Man to man—or boy to boy—whichever it is!' But, on the garden path, alongside that young spread-eagle, whose dark, glowering, self-contained face he secretly admired, he merely began:

Following him into the garden the next morning, he said to himself: 'No sarcasm—that’s dangerous. Man to man—or boy to boy—whichever it is!' But, on the garden path, beside that young show-off, whose dark, sulky, self-assured face he secretly admired, he simply started:

“How do you like your Uncle John?”

“How do you feel about your Uncle John?”

“He doesn't like me, Uncle Felix.”

“He doesn’t like me, Uncle Felix.”

Somewhat baffled, Felix proceeded:

Confused, Felix moved forward:

“I say, Derek, fortunately or unfortunately, I've some claim now to a little knowledge of you. You've got to open out a bit to me. What are you going to do with yourself in life? You can't support Nedda on revolution.”

“I say, Derek, luckily or unluckily, I know a bit about you now. You need to share more with me. What are you planning to do with your life? You can't support Nedda through revolution.”

Having drawn this bow at a venture, he paused, doubtful of his wisdom. A glance at Derek's face confirmed his doubt. It was closer than ever, more defiant.

Having taken a shot in the dark, he paused, unsure of his decision. A look at Derek's face reinforced his uncertainty. It was closer than ever, more challenging.

“There's a lot of money in revolution, Uncle Felix—other people's.”

“There's a lot of money in revolution, Uncle Felix—other people's.”

Dash the young brute! There was something in him! He swerved off to a fresh line.

Dash the young beast! There was something about him! He veered off to a new path.

“How do you like London?”

“What do you think of London?”

“I don't like it. But, Uncle Felix, don't you wish YOU were seeing it for the first time? What books you'd write!”

“I don't like it. But, Uncle Felix, don’t you wish YOU were experiencing it for the first time? What books you’d write!”

Felix felt that unconscious thrust go 'home.' Revolt against staleness and clipped wings, against the terrible security of his too solid reputation, smote him.

Felix felt that unconscious urge hit him hard. He rebelled against the dullness and restricted freedom, against the overwhelming safety of his overly solid reputation.

“What strikes you most about it, then?” he asked.

"What stands out to you the most about it, then?" he asked.

“That it ought to be jolly well blown up. Everybody seems to know that, too—they look it, anyway, and yet they go on as if it oughtn't.”

"That it should definitely be blown up. Everyone seems to know it, too—they look like they do, anyway, and yet they keep acting like it shouldn't."

“Why ought it to be blown up?”

“Why should it be blown up?”

“Well, what's the good of anything while London and all these other big towns are sitting on the country's chest? England must have been a fine place once, though!”

“Well, what's the point of anything while London and all these other big cities are sitting on the country's back? England must have been a great place once, though!”

“Some of us think it a fine place still.”

“Some of us still think it’s a great place.”

“Of course it is, in a way. But anything new and keen gets sat on. England's like an old tom-cat by the fire: too jolly comfortable for anything!”

"Sure, in a way it is. But anything fresh and exciting gets ignored. England's like a lazy old tomcat by the fire: just too cozy for anything!"

At this support to his own theory that the country was going to the dogs, owing to such as John and Stanley, Felix thought: 'Out of the mouths of babes!' But he merely said: “You're a cheerful young man!”

At this support to his own theory that the country was going downhill, due to people like John and Stanley, Felix thought: 'From the mouths of babes!' But he just said: “You're a cheerful young man!”

“It's got cramp,” Derek muttered; “can't even give women votes. Fancy my mother without a vote! And going to wait till every laborer is off the land before it attends to them. It's like the port you gave us last night, Uncle Felix, wonderful crust!”

“It's cramped,” Derek muttered; “can't even give women the vote. Imagine my mom without a vote! And they’re going to wait until every laborer is off the land before they pay attention to them. It's like the pie you gave us last night, Uncle Felix, amazing crust!”

“And what is to be your contribution to its renovation?”

“And what will your contribution be to its renovation?”

Derek's face instantly resumed its peculiar defiant smile, and Felix thought: 'Young beggar! He's as close as wax.' After their little talk, however, he had more understanding of his nephew. His defiant self-sufficiency seemed more genuine....

Derek's face quickly returned to its unusual defiant smile, and Felix thought: 'Young beggar! He's as malleable as wax.' After their brief conversation, though, he had a better understanding of his nephew. His defiant self-reliance felt more authentic....

In spite of his sensations when dining with Felix, John Freeland (little if not punctilious) decided that it was incumbent on him to have the 'young Tods' to dinner, especially since Frances Freeland had come to stay with him the day after the arrival of those two young people at Hampstead. She had reached Porchester Gardens faintly flushed from the prospect of seeing darling John, with one large cane trunk, and a hand-bag of a pattern which the man in the shop had told her was the best thing out. It had a clasp which had worked beautifully in the shop, but which, for some reason, on the journey had caused her both pain and anxiety. Convinced, however, that she could cure it and open the bag the moment she could get to that splendid new pair of pincers in her trunk, which a man had only yesterday told her were the latest, she still felt that she had a soft thing, and dear John must have one like it if she could get him one at the Stores to-morrow.

In spite of how he felt while having dinner with Felix, John Freeland (who was a bit particular) thought it was necessary to invite the 'young Tods' over for dinner, especially since Frances Freeland had come to stay with him the day after those two young people arrived in Hampstead. She had arrived at Porchester Gardens slightly excited at the thought of seeing dear John, bringing with her one large suitcase and a handbag that the shopkeeper had said was the best one available. The clasp had worked perfectly in the store, but for some reason, it caused her both discomfort and worry during the trip. Still, she was convinced she could fix it and open the bag as soon as she could reach the fabulous new pair of pliers in her trunk, which a man had only told her yesterday were the latest style. She felt she could find something special for John, and she wanted to get him something similar at the Stores tomorrow.

John, who had come away early from the Home Office, met her in that dark hall, to which he had paid no attention since his young wife died, fifteen years ago. Embracing him, with a smile of love almost timorous from intensity, Frances Freeland looked him up and down, and, catching what light there was gleaming on his temples, determined that she had in her bag, as soon as she could get it open, the very thing for dear John's hair. He had such a nice moustache, and it was a pity he was getting bald. Brought to her room, she sat down rather suddenly, feeling, as a fact, very much like fainting—a condition of affairs to which she had never in the past and intended never in the future to come, making such a fuss! Owing to that nice new patent clasp, she had not been able to get at her smelling-salts, nor the little flask of brandy and the one hard-boiled egg without which she never travelled; and for want of a cup of tea her soul was nearly dying within her. Dear John would never think she had not had anything since breakfast (she travelled always by a slow train, disliking motion), and she would not for the world let him know—so near dinner-time, giving a lot of trouble! She therefore stayed quite quiet, smiling a little, for fear he might suspect her. Seeing John, however, put her bag down in the wrong place, she felt stronger.

John, who had left the Home Office early, met her in that dark hall that he hadn’t really noticed since his young wife passed away fifteen years ago. Embracing him with a smile filled with love, almost shy in its intensity, Frances Freeland looked him over, and noticing the light glinting on his temples, decided that she had just the thing for John's hair in her bag, as soon as she could get it open. He had such a nice mustache, and it was a shame he was starting to go bald. Once in her room, she sat down rather abruptly, feeling faint—a state she had never experienced before and had no intention of experiencing again, making such a scene! Thanks to that nice new patent clasp, she couldn’t reach her smelling salts, nor the little flask of brandy or the hard-boiled egg she always traveled with; and without a cup of tea, she felt like she was almost dying inside. Dear John would never guess that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast (she always traveled on a slow train because she disliked motion), and she would never let him find out—especially so close to dinner time, creating so much fuss! So, she stayed quiet, smiling a bit, to avoid arousing his suspicion. However, when she saw John put her bag down in the wrong spot, she felt a bit stronger.

“No, darling—not there—in the window.”

“No, babe—not there—in the window.”

And while he was changing the position of the bag, her heart swelled with joy because his back was so straight, and with the thought: 'What a pity the dear boy has never married again! It does so keep a man from getting moony!' With all that writing and thinking he had to do, such important work, too, it would have been so good for him, especially at night. She would not have expressed it thus in words—that would not have been quite nice—but in thought Frances Freeland was a realist.

And while he was adjusting the bag, her heart filled with joy because his back was so straight, and she thought, 'What a shame the poor guy has never remarried! It really helps keep a man from getting sentimental!' With all the writing and thinking he had to do, such important work too, it would have been great for him, especially at night. She wouldn’t have said it out loud—that wouldn’t have been very nice—but in her mind, Frances Freeland was a realist.

When he was gone, and she could do as she liked, she sat stiller than ever, knowing by long experience that to indulge oneself in private only made it more difficult not to indulge oneself in public. It really was provoking that this nice new clasp should go wrong just this once, and that the first time it was used! And she took from her pocket a tiny prayer-book, and, holding it to the light, read the eighteenth psalm—it was a particularly good one, that never failed her when she felt low—she used no glasses, and up to the present had avoided any line between the brows, knowing it was her duty to remain as nice as she could to look at, so as not to spoil the pleasure of people round about her. Then saying to herself firmly, “I do not, I WILL not want any tea—but I shall be glad of dinner!” she rose and opened her cane trunk. Though she knew exactly where they were, she was some time finding the pincers, because there were so many interesting things above them, each raising a different train of thought. A pair of field-glasses, the very latest—the man had said—for darling Derek; they would be so useful to keep his mind from thinking about things that it was no good thinking about. And for dear Flora (how wonderful that she could write poetry—poetry!) a really splendid, and perfectly new, little pill. She herself had already taken two, and they had suited her to perfection. For darling Felix a new kind of eau de cologne, made in Worcester, because that was the only scent he would use. For her pet Nedda, a piece of 'point de Venise' that she really could not be selfish enough to keep any longer, especially as she was particularly fond of it. For Alan, a new kind of tin-opener that the dear boy would like enormously; he was so nice and practical. For Sheila, such a nice new novel by Mr. and Mrs. Whirlingham—a bright, wholesome tale, with such a good description of quite a new country in it—the dear child was so clever, it would be a change for her. Then, actually resting on the pincers, she came on her pass-book, recently made up, containing little or no balance, just enough to get darling John that bag like hers with the new clasp, which would be so handy for his papers when he went travelling. And having reached the pincers, she took them in her hand, and sat down again to be quite quiet a moment, with her still-dark eyelashes resting on her ivory cheeks and her lips pressed to a colorless line; for her head swam from stooping over. In repose, with three flies circling above her fine gray hair, she might have served a sculptor for a study of the stoic spirit. Then, going to the bag, her compressed lips twitching, her gray eyes piercing into its clasp with a kind of distrustful optimism, she lifted the pincers and tweaked it hard.

When he left, and she could do whatever she wanted, she sat even more still, knowing from experience that indulging herself in private only made it harder to resist in public. It was really frustrating that this nice new clasp had to malfunction just this once, and on its first use! She pulled out a tiny prayer book from her pocket and, holding it up to the light, read the eighteenth psalm—it was a particularly good one that never let her down when she felt down. She didn’t wear glasses, and up until now, she had managed to avoid any lines forming between her brows, knowing it was her duty to look as nice as possible so she wouldn’t ruin the enjoyment of those around her. Then, firmly telling herself, “I don’t want any tea—I WILL not want tea—but I will be happy to have dinner!” she stood up and opened her cane trunk. Although she knew exactly where the pincers were, it took her a while to find them because there were so many interesting things piled on top, each sparking a different thought. A pair of field glasses, the very latest model—the man had claimed—for darling Derek; they would be great to keep his mind off things that weren’t worth worrying about. For dear Flora (how amazing that she could write poetry—poetry!) a really nice, perfectly new little pill. She had already taken two herself, and they suited her perfectly. For darling Felix, a new kind of cologne from Worcester, since that was the only scent he liked. For her pet Nedda, a piece of 'point de Venise' that she honestly couldn’t be selfish enough to keep any longer, especially because she was particularly fond of it. For Alan, a new kind of

If the atmosphere of that dinner, to which all six from Hampstead came, was less disturbed than John anticipated, it was due to his sense of hospitality, and to every one's feeling that controversy would puzzle and distress Granny. That there were things about which people differed, Frances Freeland well knew, but that they should so differ as to make them forget to smile and have good manners would not have seemed right to her at all. And of this, in her presence, they were all conscious; so that when they had reached the asparagus there was hardly anything left that could by any possibility be talked about. And this—for fear of seeming awkward—they at once proceeded to discuss, Flora remarking that London was very full. John agreed.

If the mood at that dinner, attended by all six from Hampstead, was calmer than John expected, it was thanks to his hospitality and everyone’s awareness that arguments would unsettle and upset Granny. Frances Freeland understood that there were topics people disagreed on, but she thought it wouldn’t be right for them to let those differences stop them from smiling and being polite. Everyone was aware of this in her presence; so by the time they got to the asparagus, there was barely anything left to talk about. To avoid feeling awkward, they immediately started discussing this, with Flora commenting that London was very crowded. John agreed.

Frances Freeland, smiling, said:

Frances Freeland smiled and said:

“It's so nice for Derek and Sheila to be seeing it like this for the first time.”

“It's so great for Derek and Sheila to experience this for the first time.”

Sheila said:

Sheila said:

“Why? Isn't it always as full as this?”

“Why? Isn't it always this full?”

John answered:

John replied:

“In August practically empty. They say a hundred thousand people, at least, go away.”

“In August, it’s practically empty. They say at least a hundred thousand people leave.”

“Double!” remarked Felix.

“Double!” said Felix.

“The figures are variously given. My estimate—”

“The numbers are provided in different ways. My estimate—”

“One in sixty. That shows you!”

"One in sixty. That proves my point!"

At this interruption of Derek's John frowned slightly. “What does it show you?” he said.

At this interruption of Derek's, John frowned a bit. “What does it show you?” he asked.

Derek glanced at his grandmother.

Derek looked at his grandma.

“Oh, nothing!”

“Oh, nothing!”

“Of course it shows you,” exclaimed Sheila, “what a heartless great place it is. All 'the world' goes out of town, and 'London's empty!' But if you weren't told so you'd never know the difference.”

“Of course it shows you,” exclaimed Sheila, “what a cold, empty place it is. Everyone goes out of town, and 'London's empty!' But if you weren't told that, you'd never notice the difference.”

Derek muttered: “I think it shows more than that.”

Derek muttered, “I think it reveals more than that.”

Under the table Flora was touching John's foot warningly; Nedda attempting to touch Derek's; Felix endeavoring to catch John's eye; Alan trying to catch Sheila's; John biting his lip and looking carefully at nothing. Only Frances Freeland was smiling and gazing lovingly at dear Derek, thinking he would be so handsome when he had grown a nice black moustache. And she said:

Under the table, Flora was giving John's foot a warning touch; Nedda was trying to get Derek's attention; Felix was trying to get John's attention; Alan was trying to catch Sheila's eye; John was biting his lip and staring blankly. Only Frances Freeland was smiling and gazing affectionately at dear Derek, imagining how handsome he would be with a nice black mustache. And she said:

“Yes, dear. What were you going to say?”

“Yeah, dear. What were you going to say?”

Derek looked up.

Derek glanced up.

“Do you really want it, Granny?”

“Do you really want it, Grandma?”

Nedda murmured across the table: “No, Derek.”

Nedda whispered across the table, “No, Derek.”

Frances Freeland raised her brows quizzically. She almost looked arch.

Frances Freeland raised her eyebrows in curiosity. She almost seemed sarcastic.

“But of course I do, darling. I want to hear immensely. It's so interesting.”

“Of course I do, darling. I really want to hear it. It’s so interesting.”

“Derek was going to say, Mother”—every one at once looked at Felix, who had thus broken in—“that all we West-End people—John and I and Flora and Stanley, and even you—all we people born in purple and fine linen, are so accustomed to think we're all that matters, that when we're out of London there's nobody in it. He meant to say that this is appalling enough, but that what is still more appalling is the fact that we really ARE all that matters, and that if people try to disturb us, we can, and jolly well will, take care they don't disturb us long. Is that what you meant, Derek?”

“Derek was going to say, Mother”—everyone immediately looked at Felix, who had interrupted—“that all of us West-End people—John and I, Flora and Stanley, and even you—all of us born into privilege, are so used to thinking we’re the only ones that matter, that when we’re outside of London, it feels like nobody else exists. He meant to say that’s bad enough, but what’s even worse is that we really ARE the ones that matter, and if anyone tries to bother us, we can, and definitely will, make sure they don’t bother us for long. Is that what you meant, Derek?”

Derek turned a rather startled look on Felix.

Derek gave Felix a surprised look.

“What he meant to say,” went on Felix, “was, that age and habit, vested interests, culture and security sit so heavy on this country's chest, that aspiration may wriggle and squirm but will never get from under. That, for all we pretend to admire enthusiasm and youth, and the rest of it, we push it out of us just a little faster than it grows up. Is that what you meant, Derek?”

“What he meant to say,” Felix continued, “is that age and habit, vested interests, culture, and security weigh so heavily on this country’s chest that ambition might wriggle and squirm but will never break free. That, despite our claims of admiring enthusiasm and youth, we actually push it away from us just a little faster than it can grow up. Is that what you meant, Derek?”

“You'll try to, but you won't succeed!”

“You'll try, but you won't succeed!”

“I'm afraid we shall, and with a smile, too, so that you won't see us doing it.”

“I'm afraid we will, and we'll do it with a smile, so you won't notice us doing it.”

“I call that devilish.”

"I'd call that devilish."

“I call it natural. Look at a man who's growing old; notice how very gracefully and gradually he does it. Take my hair—your aunt says she can't tell the difference from month to month. And there it is, or rather isn't—little by little.”

“I call it natural. Look at a man who's aging; notice how gracefully and slowly he does it. Take my hair—your aunt says she can't tell the difference from month to month. And there it is, or rather isn't—little by little.”

Frances Freeland, who during Felix's long speech had almost closed her eyes, opened them, and looked piercingly at the top of his head.

Frances Freeland, who had nearly shut her eyes during Felix's long speech, opened them and stared intensely at the top of his head.

“Darling,” she said, “I've got the very thing for it. You must take some with you when you go tonight. John is going to try it.”

“Darling,” she said, “I've got just the thing for it. You have to take some with you when you go tonight. John is going to give it a try.”

Checked in the flow of his philosophy, Felix blinked like an owl surprised.

Checked in the flow of his philosophy, Felix blinked like an owl surprised.

“Mother,” he said, “YOU only have the gift of keeping young.”

“Mom,” he said, “you’re the only one who has the gift of staying young.”

“Oh! my dear, I'm getting dreadfully old. I have the greatest difficulty in keeping awake sometimes when people are talking. But I mean to fight against it. It's so dreadfully rude, and ugly, too; I catch myself sometimes with my mouth open.”

“Oh! My dear, I’m getting really old. I struggle to stay awake sometimes when people are talking. But I’m determined to fight it. It’s so incredibly rude, and it looks bad too; I sometimes catch myself with my mouth hanging open.”

Flora said quietly: “Granny, I have the very best thing for that—quite new!”

Flora said softly, “Granny, I have the perfect thing for that—brand new!”

A sweet but rather rueful smile passed over Frances Freeland's face. “Now,” she said, “you're chaffing me,” and her eyes looked loving.

A sweet but somewhat bittersweet smile spread across Frances Freeland's face. “Now,” she said, “you're teasing me,” and her eyes looked affectionate.

It is doubtful if John understood the drift of Felix's exordium, it is doubtful if he had quite listened—he having so much to not listen to at the Home Office that the practice was growing on him. A vested interest to John was a vested interest, culture was culture, and security was certainly security—none of them were symbols of age. Further, the social question—at least so far as it had to do with outbreaks of youth and enthusiasm—was too familiar to him to have any general significance whatever. What with women, labor people, and the rest of it, he had no time for philosophy—a dubious process at the best. A man who had to get through so many daily hours of real work did not dissipate his energy in speculation. But, though he had not listened to Felix's remarks, they had ruffled him. There is no philosophy quite so irritating as that of a brother! True, no doubt, that the country was in a bad way, but as to vested interests and security, that was all nonsense! The guilty causes were free thought and industrialism.

It’s unclear if John really understood the point of Felix’s introduction; it’s also questionable whether he even listened, since he had so much to ignore at the Home Office that it was becoming a habit. To John, a vested interest was just that—a vested interest; culture was simply culture; and security was definitely security—none of these were signs of age. Furthermore, the social issues—at least in relation to youthful outbursts and enthusiasm—were too familiar to him to mean anything significant. With women, labor folks, and everything else going on, he didn’t have time for philosophy—a questionable endeavor at best. A man who had to get through so many hours of real work didn’t waste his energy on speculation. But even though he hadn’t paid much attention to Felix’s comments, they still bothered him. There’s no philosophy more annoying than that of a brother! It’s true that the country was facing tough times, but when it came to vested interests and security, that was all just nonsense! The real culprits were free thought and industrialism.

Having seen them all off to Hampstead, he gave his mother her good-night kiss. He was proud of her, a wonderful woman, who always put a good face on everything! Even her funny way of always having some new thing or other to do you good—even that was all part of her wanting to make the best of things. She never lost her 'form'!

Having seen them all off to Hampstead, he gave his mother a good-night kiss. He was proud of her, a remarkable woman, who always kept a positive attitude! Even her quirky habit of having some new thing for self-improvement—everything about that was her way of wanting to make the most of things. She never lost her touch!

John worshipped that kind of stoicism which would die with its head up rather than live with its tail down. Perhaps the moment of which he was most proud in all his life was that, when, at the finish of his school mile, he overheard a vulgar bandsman say: “I like that young ——'s running; he breathes through his —— nose.” At that moment, if he had stooped to breathe through his mouth, he must have won; as it was he had lost in great distress and perfect form.

John admired that kind of stoicism that would rather go down with dignity than live in shame. Maybe the moment he felt the proudest in his entire life was when, at the end of his school mile, he heard a rude band member say, “I like that kid's running; he breathes through his nose.” At that moment, if he had decided to breathe through his mouth, he would have won; instead, he lost while maintaining great effort and perfect form.

When, then, he had kissed Frances Freeland, and watched her ascend the stairs, breathless because she WOULD breathe through her nose to the very last step, he turned into his study, lighted his pipe, and sat down to a couple of hours of a report upon the forces of constabulary available in the various counties, in the event of any further agricultural rioting, such as had recently taken place on a mild scale in one or two districts where there was still Danish blood. He worked at the numbers steadily, with just that engineer's touch of mechanical invention which had caused him to be so greatly valued in a department where the evolution of twelve policemen out of ten was constantly desired. His mastery of figures was highly prized, for, while it had not any of that flamboyance which has come from America and the game of poker, it possessed a kind of English optimism, only dangerous when, as rarely happened, it was put to the test. He worked two full pipes long, and looked at the clock. Twelve! No good knocking off just yet! He had no liking for bed this many a long year, having, from loyalty to memory and a drier sense of what became one in the Home Department, preserved his form against temptations of the flesh. Yet, somehow, to-night he felt no spring, no inspiration, in his handling of county constabulary. A kind of English stolidity about them baffled him—ten of them remained ten. And leaning that forehead, whose height so troubled Frances Freeland, on his neat hand, he fell to brooding. Those young people with everything before them! Did he envy them? Or was he glad of his own age? Fifty! Fifty already; a fogey! An official fogey! For all the world like an umbrella, that every day some one put into a stand and left there till it was time to take it out again. Neatly rolled, too, with an elastic and button! And this fancy, which had never come to him before, surprised him. One day he, too, would wear out, slit all up his seams, and they would leave him at home, or give him away to the butler.

When he had kissed Frances Freeland and watched her climb the stairs, breathing hard because she insisted on breathing through her nose until the very last step, he went into his study, lit his pipe, and settled in for a couple of hours working on a report about the police forces available in different counties, in case of any further agricultural riots, like those that had recently occurred on a small scale in a couple of areas with some Danish heritage. He worked through the numbers steadily, with that engineer's knack for practical problem-solving that made him so valued in a department where it was always hoped to get twelve policemen out of ten. His skill with numbers was highly appreciated, not for any flashy style that you might find in America or poker games, but for a kind of British optimism that only turned risky when, as was rare, it faced a challenge. He worked for the length of two full pipes and then glanced at the clock. Twelve! No point in stopping just yet! He hadn’t cared for bed for many years, having, out of loyalty to his memories and a more restrained approach to what suited someone in the Home Department, held himself back from earthly temptations. Yet, tonight, he felt no energy or inspiration in his work with the county police. A kind of British dullness about them puzzled him—ten of them stayed ten. Leaning his forehead, which Frances Freeland had remarked on, onto his neat hand, he fell into deep thought. Those young people had everything ahead of them! Did he envy them? Or was he thankful for his age? Fifty! Fifty already; an old-timer! An official old-timer! Just like an umbrella, every day someone would place him in a stand and leave him there until it was time to retrieve him. Neatly rolled up too, with an elastic and a button! This thought, which had never crossed his mind before, took him by surprise. One day, he too would wear out, his seams would split, and they would either leave him at home or give him away to the butler.

He went to the window. A scent of—of May, or something! And nothing in sight save houses just like his own! He looked up at the strip of sky privileged to hang just there. He had got a bit rusty with his stars. There, however, certainly was Venus. And he thought of how he had stood by the ship's rail on that honeymoon trip of his twenty years ago, giving his young wife her first lesson in counting the stars. And something very deep down, very mossed and crusted over in John's heart, beat and stirred, and hurt him. Nedda—he had caught her looking at that young fellow just as Anne had once looked at him, John Freeland, now an official fogey, an umbrella in a stand. There was a policeman! How ridiculous the fellow looked, putting one foot before the other, flirting his lantern and trying the area gates! This confounded scent of hawthorn—could it be hawthorn?—got here into the heart of London! The look in that girl's eyes! What was he about, to let them make him feel as though he could give his soul for a face looking up into his own, for a breast touching his, and the scent of a woman's hair. Hang it! He would smoke a cigarette and go to bed! He turned out the light and began to mount the stairs; they creaked abominably—the felt must be wearing out. A woman about the place would have kept them quiet. Reaching the landing of the second floor, he paused a moment from habit, to look down into the dark hall. A voice, thin, sweet, almost young, said:

He went to the window. A scent of—May, or something! And nothing in sight but houses just like his own! He looked up at the strip of sky that was lucky enough to be there. He had gotten a bit out of touch with his stars. There, however, was definitely Venus. He thought about how he had stood by the ship's rail on that honeymoon trip twenty years ago, giving his young wife her first lesson on how to count the stars. And something deep down, very old and crusted over in John's heart, beat and stirred, and it hurt him. Nedda—he had seen her looking at that young guy just like Anne had once looked at him, John Freeland, now an official old-timer, an umbrella in a stand. There was a policeman! How ridiculous he looked, putting one foot in front of the other, waving his lantern and checking the area gates! This annoying scent of hawthorn—could it really be hawthorn?—made its way into the heart of London! The look in that girl's eyes! What was he doing, letting them make him feel like he could give his soul for a face looking up at him, for a chest touching his, and the scent of a woman's hair? Damn it! He would smoke a cigarette and go to bed! He turned off the light and started up the stairs; they creaked terribly—the felt must be wearing out. Having a woman around would have kept them quiet. When he reached the landing of the second floor, he paused for a moment out of habit, to look down into the dark hall. A voice, thin, sweet, almost youthful, said:

“Is that you, darling?” John's heart stood still. What—was that? Then he perceived that the door of the room that had been his wife's was open, and remembered that his mother was in there.

“Is that you, babe?” John's heart froze. What—was that? Then he noticed that the door to the room that had been his wife's was open, and he remembered that his mom was in there.

“What! Aren't you asleep, Mother?”

"What! Aren't you sleeping, Mom?"

Frances Freeland's voice answered cheerfully: “Oh, no, dear; I'm never asleep before two. Come in.”

Frances Freeland's voice replied cheerfully, "Oh, no, dear; I never go to sleep before two. Come in."

John entered. Propped very high on her pillows, in perfect regularity, his mother lay. Her carved face was surmounted by a piece of fine lace, her thin, white fingers on the turnover of the sheet moved in continual interlocking, her lips smiled.

John entered. Propped up high on her pillows, in perfect alignment, his mother lay. Her carved face was topped with a piece of fine lace, her thin, white fingers constantly intertwined on the edge of the sheet, and her lips smiled.

“There's something you must have,” she said. “I left my door open on purpose. Give me that little bottle, darling.”

“There's something you need to get,” she said. “I left my door open on purpose. Hand me that little bottle, sweetheart.”

John took from a small table by the bed a still smaller bottle. Frances Freeland opened it, and out came three tiny white globules.

John took a small bottle from the table by the bed. Frances Freeland opened it, and three tiny white balls popped out.

“Now,” she said, “pop them in! You've no idea how they'll send you to sleep! They're the most splendid things; perfectly harmless. Just let them rest on the tongue and swallow!”

“Now,” she said, “just pop them in! You have no idea how they'll make you drowsy! They're amazing; totally safe. Just let them sit on your tongue and swallow!”

John let them rest—they were sweetish—and swallowed.

John allowed them to rest—they were a bit sweet—and swallowed.

“How is it, then,” he said, “that you never go to sleep before two?”

“How is it that you never go to sleep before two?” he asked.

Frances Freeland corked the little bottle, as if enclosing within it that awkward question.

Frances Freeland sealed the small bottle, as if capturing that uncomfortable question inside.

“They don't happen to act with me, darling; but that's nothing. It's the very thing for any one who has to sit up so late,” and her eyes searched his face. Yes—they seemed to say—I know you pretend to have work; but if you only had a dear little wife!

"They don’t really hang out with me, sweetheart; but that’s okay. It’s perfect for anyone who has to stay up so late,” and her eyes scanned his face. Yes—they seemed to say—I know you pretend to be busy; but if you only had a sweet little wife!

“I shall leave you this bottle when I go. Kiss me.”

“I'll leave you this bottle when I leave. Kiss me.”

John bent down, and received one of those kisses of hers that had such sudden vitality in the middle of them, as if her lips were trying to get inside his cheek. From the door he looked back. She was smiling, composed again to her stoic wakefulness.

John bent down and got one of those kisses from her that had such sudden energy in the middle of them, as if her lips were trying to get inside his cheek. From the door, he looked back. She was smiling, composed again in her calm alertness.

“Shall I shut the door, Mother?”

“Should I close the door, Mom?”

“Please, darling.”

"Please, babe."

With a little lump in his throat John closed the door.

With a slight lump in his throat, John closed the door.





CHAPTER XVII

The London which Derek had said should be blown up was at its maximum of life those May days. Even on this outer rampart of Hampstead, people, engines, horses, all had a touch of the spring fever; indeed, especially on this rampart of Hampstead was there increase of the effort to believe that nature was not dead and embalmed in books. The poets, painters, talkers who lived up there were at each other all the time in their great game of make-believe. How could it be otherwise, when there was veritably blossom on the trees and the chimneys were ceasing to smoke? How otherwise, when the sun actually shone on the ponds? But the four young people (for Alan joined in—hypnotized by Sheila) did not stay in Hampstead. Chiefly on top of tram and 'bus they roamed the wilderness. Bethnal Green and Leytonstone, Kensington and Lambeth, St. James's and Soho, Whitechapel, Shoreditch, West Ham, and Piccadilly, they traversed the whole ant-heap at its most ebullient moment. They knew their Whitman and their Dostoievsky sufficiently to be aware that they ought to love and delight in everything—in the gentleman walking down Piccadilly with a flower in his buttonhole, and in the lady sewing that buttonhole in Bethnal Green; in the orator bawling himself hoarse close to the Marble Arch, the coster loading his barrow in Covent Garden; and in Uncle John Freeland rejecting petitions in Whitehall. All these things, of course, together with the long lines of little gray houses in Camden Town, long lines of carts with bobtail horses rattling over Blackfriars' Bridge, long smells drifting behind taxicabs—all these things were as delightful and as stimulating to the soul as the clouds that trailed the heavens, the fronds of the lilac, and Leonardo's Cartoon in the Diploma Gallery. All were equal manifestations of that energy in flower known as 'Life.' They knew that everything they saw and felt and smelled OUGHT equally to make them long to catch creatures to their hearts and cry: Hosanna! And Nedda and Alan, bred in Hampstead, even knew that to admit that these things did not all move them in the same way would be regarded as a sign of anaemia. Nevertheless—most queerly—these four young people confessed to each other all sorts of sensations besides that 'Hosanna' one. They even confessed to rage and pity and disgust one moment, and to joy and dreams the next, and they differed greatly as to what excited which. It was truly odd! The only thing on which they did seem to agree was that they were having 'a thundering good time.' A sort of sense of “Blow everything!” was in their wings, and this was due not to the fact that they were thinking of and loving and admiring the little gray streets and the gentleman in Piccadilly—as, no doubt, in accordance with modern culture, they should have been—but to the fact that they were loving and admiring themselves, and that entirely without the trouble of thinking about it at all. The practice, too, of dividing into couples was distinctly precious to them, for, though they never failed to start out together, they never failed to come home two by two. In this way did they put to confusion Whitman and Dostoievsky, and all the other thinkers in Hampstead. In the daytime they all, save Alan, felt that London ought to be blown up; but at night it undermined their philosophies so that they sat silent on the tops of their respective 'buses, with arms twined in each other's. For then a something seemed to have floated up from that mass of houses and machines, of men and trees, and to be hovering above them, violet-colored, caught between the stars and the lights, a spirit of such overpowering beauty that it drenched even Alan in a kind of awe. After all, the huge creature that sat with such a giant's weight on the country's chest, the monster that had spoiled so many fields and robbed so many lives of peace and health, could fly at night upon blue and gold and purple wings, murmur a passionate lullaby, and fall into deep sleep!

The London that Derek said should be blown up was alive during those May days. Even on the outskirts of Hampstead, people, cars, and horses all showed signs of spring fever; in fact, especially on this rampart of Hampstead, there was a growing effort to believe that nature wasn't dead and cold in books. The poets, painters, and chatters who lived there were constantly engaged in their big game of make-believe. How could it be any different, when there were actual blossoms on the trees and the chimneys were starting to stop smoking? How could it be otherwise when the sun was really shining down on the ponds? But the four young people (Alan got drawn in—hypnotized by Sheila) didn't stick around Hampstead. They mostly traveled the streets on top of trams and buses. They roamed through Bethnal Green and Leytonstone, Kensington and Lambeth, St. James's and Soho, Whitechapel, Shoreditch, West Ham, and Piccadilly, exploring the entire bustling city at its most vibrant time. They knew enough of Whitman and Dostoevsky to understand that they should love and take joy in everything—in the gentleman walking down Piccadilly with a flower in his buttonhole, and in the lady sewing that buttonhole in Bethnal Green; in the speaker straining his voice near Marble Arch, the vendor loading his cart in Covent Garden; and in Uncle John Freeland turning down petitions in Whitehall. All these moments, along with the long rows of little gray houses in Camden Town, the carts pulled by bobtail horses clattering over Blackfriars' Bridge, and the lingering smells trailing behind taxis—these were as delightful and uplifting to the soul as the clouds floating in the sky, the lilac blooms, and Leonardo's Cartoon in the Diploma Gallery. All these things were equal expressions of that energy in bloom known as 'Life.' They knew that everything they saw, felt, and smelled SHOULD equally make them long to hold everything close to their hearts and shout: Hosanna! And Nedda and Alan, raised in Hampstead, even understood that admitting these things didn’t all move them the same way would suggest some deficiency in spirit. Yet—strangely—these four young people shared all kinds of feelings apart from that 'Hosanna' one. They even admitted to feeling anger and pity and disgust one moment, and joy and dreams the next, and they disagreed greatly on what sparked which. It was really peculiar! The only thing they seemed to agree on was that they were having 'a fantastic time.' There was a sense of “Forget everything!” in their spirit, and this wasn’t because they were thinking about and admiring the little gray streets and the gentleman in Piccadilly—as they probably should have been according to modern culture—but because they were loving and admiring themselves, without even thinking about it. The practice of pairing off was especially valuable to them, because while they always set out together, they always ended up coming home in couples. This way they confused Whitman and Dostoevsky, along with all the other thinkers in Hampstead. During the day, they all, except Alan, felt that London should be blown up; but at night it undermined their philosophies so they sat in silence on top of their respective buses, arms entwined with each other. That was when something seemed to rise up from the mass of buildings and machines, of people and trees, and hover above them, bathed in violet light, caught between the stars and the streetlights, a spirit of such overwhelming beauty that it filled even Alan with awe. After all, the massive creature that weighed heavily on the country's chest, the monster that had spoiled so many fields and taken the peace and health from so many lives, could soar at night on blue and gold and purple wings, whisper a passionate lullaby, and drift into deep sleep!

One such night they went to the gallery at the opera, to supper at an oyster-shop, under Alan's pilotage, and then set out to walk back to Hampstead, timing themselves to catch the dawn. They had not gone twenty steps up Southampton Row before Alan and Sheila were forty steps in front. A fellow-feeling had made Derek and Nedda stand to watch an old man who walked, tortuous, extremely happy, bidding them all come. And when they moved on, it was very slowly, just keeping sight of the others across the lumbered dimness of Covent Garden, where tarpaulin-covered carts and barrows seemed to slumber under the blink of lamps and watchmen's lanterns. Across Long Acre they came into a street where there was not a soul save the two others, a long way ahead. Walking with his arm tightly laced with hers, touching her all down one side, Derek felt that it would be glorious to be attacked by night-birds in this dark, lonely street, to have a splendid fight and drive them off, showing himself to Nedda for a man, and her protector. But nothing save one black cat came near, and that ran for its life. He bent round and looked under the blue veil-thing that wrapped Nedda's head. Her face seemed mysteriously lovely, and her eyes, lifted so quickly, mysteriously true. She said:

One night, they went to the gallery at the opera, had dinner at an oyster bar guided by Alan, and then decided to walk back to Hampstead, planning to catch the dawn. They hadn’t walked twenty steps up Southampton Row before Alan and Sheila were already forty steps ahead. Derek and Nedda stood to watch an old man walking slowly but happily, encouraging them to join him. When they finally moved on, it was at a leisurely pace, making sure they could still see the others across the cluttered darkness of Covent Garden, where carts and barrows covered with tarps seemed to rest under the flicker of lamps and watchmen's lanterns. They crossed Long Acre into a street that was completely empty except for the two of them far ahead. With his arm tightly around her, Derek felt it would be amazing to be ambushed by night creatures in this dark, lonely street, to have an epic battle and chase them away, proving himself to Nedda as a man and her protector. But the only creature that came close was a single black cat that dashed away in fright. He leaned in to peek under the blue scarf covering Nedda's head. Her face looked enchanting, and her eyes, which lifted so quickly, felt mysteriously sincere. She said:

“Derek, I feel like a hill with the sun on it!”

“Derek, I feel like a hill basking in the sun!”

“I feel like that yellow cloud with the wind in it.”

“I feel like that yellow cloud being blown by the wind.”

“I feel like an apple-tree coming into blossom.”

“I feel like an apple tree starting to bloom.”

“I feel like a giant.”

“I feel huge.”

“I feel like a song.”

“I feel like singing.”

“I feel I could sing you.”

“I feel like I could sing to you.”

“On a river, floating along.”

“Floating down a river.”

“A wide one, with great plains on each side, and beasts coming down to drink, and either the sun or a yellow moon shining, and some one singing, too, far off.”

“A wide river, with vast plains on each side, animals coming down to drink, with either the sun or a yellow moon shining, and someone singing off in the distance.”

“The Red Sarafan.”

"The Red Sarafan."

“Let's run!”

“Let’s go!”

From that yellow cloud sailing in moonlight a spurt of rain had driven into their faces, and they ran as fast as their blood was flowing, and the raindrops coming down, jumping half the width of the little dark streets, clutching each other's arms. And peering round into her face, so sweet and breathless, into her eyes, so dark and dancing, he felt he could run all night if he had her there to run beside him through the dark. Into another street they dashed, and again another, till she stopped, panting.

From that yellow cloud floating in the moonlight, a burst of rain splashed into their faces, and they ran as fast as their hearts were racing, with raindrops bouncing across the narrow dark streets, holding onto each other's arms. Glancing into her face, so sweet and breathless, and into her eyes, so dark and sparkling, he felt he could run all night if she was there to run alongside him through the darkness. They dashed into another street, and then another, until she stopped, out of breath.

“Where are we now?”

"Where are we now?"

Neither knew. A policeman put them right for Portland Place. Half past one! And it would be dawn soon after three! They walked soberly again now into the outer circle of Regent's Park; talked soberly, too, discussing sublunary matters, and every now and then, their arms, round each other, gave little convulsive squeezes. The rain had stopped and the moon shone clear; by its light the trees and flowers were clothed in colors whose blood had spilled away; the town's murmur was dying, the house lights dead already. They came out of the park into a road where the latest taxis were rattling past; a face, a bare neck, silk hat, or shirt-front gleamed in the window-squares, and now and then a laugh came floating through. They stopped to watch them from under the low-hanging branches of an acacia-tree, and Derek, gazing at her face, still wet with rain, so young and round and soft, thought: 'And she loves me!' Suddenly she clutched him round the neck, and their lips met.

Neither of them knew. A policeman directed them toward Portland Place. Half past one! Dawn would be coming soon after three! They walked seriously again now into the outer circle of Regent's Park; they talked earnestly too, discussing everyday matters, and every now and then, their arms around each other would give little excited squeezes. The rain had stopped, and the moon shone brightly; by its light, the trees and flowers were dressed in colors that had lost their vibrancy; the city's murmur was fading, the house lights already out. They exited the park onto a road where the latest taxis were rattling by; a face, a bare neck, a silk hat, or a shirt front shimmered in the window squares, and occasionally a laugh floated through. They paused to watch from under the low-hanging branches of an acacia tree, and Derek, looking at her face, still wet from the rain, so young, round, and soft, thought: 'And she loves me!' Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and their lips met.

They talked not at all for a long time after that kiss, walking slowly up the long, empty road, while the whitish clouds sailed across the dark river of the sky and the moon slowly sank. This was the most delicious part of all that long walk home, for the kiss had made them feel as though they had no bodies, but were just two spirits walking side by side. This is its curious effect sometimes in first love between the very young....

They didn't say a word for a long time after that kiss, walking slowly down the long, empty road while the whitish clouds drifted across the dark sky and the moon gradually sank. This was the best part of that long walk home, because the kiss made them feel like they didn't have bodies, just two spirits walking side by side. It's a strange effect that sometimes happens in first love among the very young....

Having sent Flora to bed, Felix was sitting up among his books. There was no need to do this, for the young folk had latch-keys, but, having begun the vigil, he went on with it, a volume about Eastern philosophies on his knee, a bowl of narcissus blooms, giving forth unexpected whiffs of odor, beside him. And he sank into a long reverie.

Having sent Flora to bed, Felix sat among his books. There was no need for this, since the young ones had latchkeys, but once he started his watch, he kept it up, with a book about Eastern philosophies on his lap and a bowl of narcissus flowers nearby, giving off unexpected scents. He drifted into a long daydream.

Could it be said—as was said in this Eastern book—that man's life was really but a dream; could that be said with any more truth than it had once been said, that he rose again in his body, to perpetual life? Could anything be said with truth, save that we knew nothing? And was that not really what had always been said by man—that we knew nothing, but were just blown over and about the world like soughs of wind, in obedience to some immortal, unknowable coherence! But had that want of knowledge ever retarded what was known as the upward growth of man? Had it ever stopped man from working, fighting, loving, dying like a hero if need were? Had faith ever been anything but embroidery to an instinctive heroism, so strong that it needed no such trappings? Had faith ever been anything but anodyne, or gratification of the aesthetic sense? Or had it really body and substance of its own? Was it something absolute and solid, that he—Felix Freeland—had missed? Or again, was it, perhaps, but the natural concomitant of youth, a naive effervescence with which thought and brooding had to part? And, turning the page of his book, he noticed that he could no longer see to read, the lamp had grown too dim, and showed but a decorative glow in the bright moonlight flooding through the study window. He got up and put another log on the fire, for these last nights of May were chilly.

Could it be said—as it was in this Eastern book—that a person's life was really just a dream? Could that be said any more truthfully than the claim that he rose again in his body to live forever? Is there anything that can be said with truth, except that we know nothing? And hasn’t that always been the message from humanity—that we know nothing, but are simply blown around the world like whispers of wind, obeying some immortal, unknowable order? But has this lack of knowledge ever slowed down what we call the upward progress of mankind? Has it ever stopped people from working, fighting, loving, or dying like heroes if necessary? Has faith ever been anything more than decoration for an instinctive heroism so strong that it didn’t need any embellishments? Has faith ever been anything but a comfort or a way to satisfy the aesthetic sense? Or did it actually have body and substance of its own? Was it something absolute and real that he—Felix Freeland—had overlooked? Or was it, perhaps, just a natural part of youth, a naive excitement that thinking and reflection had to let go of? As he turned the page of his book, he realized he could no longer read; the lamp had dimmed too much and only cast a decorative glow in the bright moonlight streaming through the study window. He stood up and added another log to the fire, as these late May nights were chilly.

Nearly three! Where were these young people? Had he been asleep, and they come in? Sure enough, in the hall Alan's hat and Sheila's cloak—the dark-red one he had admired when she went forth—were lying on a chair. But of the other two—nothing! He crept up-stairs. Their doors were open. They certainly took their time—these young lovers. And the same sore feeling which had attacked Felix when Nedda first told him of her love came on him badly in that small of the night when his vitality was lowest. All the hours she had spent clambering about him, or quietly resting on his knee with her head tucked in just where his arm and shoulder met, listening while he read or told her stories, and now and again turning those clear eyes of hers wide open to his face, to see if he meant it; the wilful little tugs of her hand when they two went exploring the customs of birds, or bees, or flowers; all her 'Daddy, I love yous!' and her rushes to the front door, and long hugs when he came back from a travel; all those later crookings of her little finger in his, and the times he had sat when she did not know it, watching her, and thinking: 'That little creature, with all that's before her, is my very own daughter to take care of, and share joy and sorrow with....' Each one of all these seemed to come now and tweak at him, as the songs of blackbirds tweak the heart of one who lies, unable to get out into the Spring. His lamp had burned itself quite out; the moon was fallen below the clump of pines, and away to the north-east something stirred in the stain and texture of the sky. Felix opened the window. What peace out there! The chill, scentless peace of night, waiting for dawn's renewal of warmth and youth. Through that bay window facing north he could see on one side the town, still wan with the light of its lamps, on the other the country, whose dark bloom was graying fast. Suddenly a tiny bird twittered, and Felix saw his two truants coming slowly from the gate across the grass, his arm round her shoulders, hers round his waist. With their backs turned to him, they passed the corner of the house, across where the garden sloped away. There they stood above the wide country, their bodies outlined against a sky fast growing light, evidently waiting for the sun to rise. Silent they stood, while the birds, one by one, twittered out their first calls. And suddenly Felix saw the boy fling his hand up into the air. The Sun! Far away on the gray horizon was a flare of red!

Nearly three! Where were these young people? Had he fallen asleep, and they snuck in? Sure enough, in the hallway, Alan's hat and Sheila's dark-red cloak—the one he admired when she went out—were lying on a chair. But the other two—nowhere to be found! He crept upstairs. Their doors were open. These young lovers sure took their time. The same painful feeling that had hit Felix when Nedda first told him about her love hit him hard now in the dead of night when he felt his energy waning. All those hours she had spent climbing around him, or quietly resting on his knee with her head nestled against his arm, listening while he read or told her stories, and every now and then turning her clear eyes to his face to see if he was serious; the playful little tugs of her hand during their explorations of birds, bees, or flowers; all her 'Daddy, I love yous!' and her runs to the front door for long hugs when he returned from a trip; all those times she crooked her little finger in his, and the moments he had sat and watched her when she didn’t know it, thinking: 'That little creature, with everything ahead of her, is my very own daughter to care for, and share joy and sorrow with....' Each of those memories seemed to tug at him now, like the songs of blackbirds pulling at the heart of someone who lies trapped indoors while Spring unfolds outside. His lamp had burned out completely; the moon had dropped below the clump of pines, and off to the northeast, something stirred in the fading light of the sky. Felix opened the window. What a peaceful scene outside! The cool, scentless peace of night, waiting for the dawn’s renewal of warmth and youth. Through that bay window facing north, he could see the town on one side, still pale with the light of its lamps, and on the other, the countryside, its dark shape fading quickly into gray. Suddenly, a tiny bird chirped, and Felix spotted his two runaways slowly coming from the gate across the grass, his arm around her shoulders, hers around his waist. With their backs to him, they passed the corner of the house, moving across where the garden sloped away. There they stood above the wide countryside, their silhouettes outlined against a sky that was brightening quickly, clearly waiting for the sun to rise. They stood silently while the birds, one by one, began their morning calls. Then Felix saw the boy lift his hand into the air. The Sun! Far away on the gray horizon, a flare of red appeared!





CHAPTER XVIII

The anxieties of the Lady Mallorings of this life concerning the moral welfare of their humbler neighbors are inclined to march in front of events. The behavior in Tryst's cottage was more correct than it would have been in nine out of ten middle or upper class demesnes under similar conditions. Between the big laborer and 'that woman,' who, since the epileptic fit, had again come into residence, there had passed nothing whatever that might not have been witnessed by Biddy and her two nurslings. For love is an emotion singularly dumb and undemonstrative in those who live the life of the fields; passion a feeling severely beneath the thumb of a propriety born of the age-long absence of excitants, opportunities, and the aesthetic sense; and those two waited, almost as a matter of course, for the marriage which was forbidden them in this parish. The most they did was to sit and look at one another.

The concerns of the Lady Mallorings in this life about the moral wellbeing of their less privileged neighbors tend to take the lead over actual events. The conduct in Tryst's cottage was more appropriate than it would have been in nine out of ten middle or upper-class homes under similar circumstances. Nothing at all passed between the big laborer and 'that woman,' who, after the epileptic seizure, had returned to the cottage, that could not have been seen by Biddy and her two little ones. For love is a feeling notably quiet and unexpressive in those who live a rural life; passion a sentiment tightly controlled by a sense of propriety that comes from a long absence of excitement, opportunities, and aesthetic appreciation; and the two just waited, almost automatically, for the marriage that was denied them in this parish. The most they did was sit and gaze at each other.

On the day of which Felix had seen the dawn at Hampstead, Sir Gerald's agent tapped on the door of Tryst's cottage, and was answered by Biddy, just in from school for the midday meal.

On the day Felix watched the sunrise at Hampstead, Sir Gerald's agent knocked on the door of Tryst's cottage, and Biddy, just home from school for lunch, answered.

“Your father home, my dear?”

"Is your dad home, dear?"

“No, sir; Auntie's in.”

“No, sir; Auntie's home.”

“Ask your auntie to come and speak to me.”

“Ask your aunt to come and talk to me.”

The mother-child vanished up the narrow stairs, and the agent sighed. A strong-built, leathery-skinned man in a brown suit and leggings, with a bristly little moustache and yellow whites to his eyes, he did not, as he had said to his wife that morning, 'like the job a little bit.' And while he stood there waiting, Susie and Billy emerged from the kitchen and came to stare at him. The agent returned that stare till a voice behind him said: “Yes, sir?”

The mother and child disappeared up the narrow stairs, and the agent sighed. A strong, weathered man in a brown suit and leggings, with a bristly little mustache and yellow-tinted eyes, he did not, as he had told his wife that morning, 'like the job at all.' While he waited, Susie and Billy came out of the kitchen and stared at him. The agent held their gaze until a voice behind him said, “Yes, sir?”

'That woman' was certainly no great shakes to look at: a fresh, decent, faithful sort of body! And he said gruffly: “Mornin', miss. Sorry to say my orders are to make a clearance here. I suppose Tryst didn't think we should act on it, but I'm afraid I've got to put his things out, you know. Now, where are you all going; that's the point?”

'That woman' wasn't much to look at: just a decent, ordinary person! He said gruffly, “Morning, miss. Sorry to say my orders are to clear out here. I guess Tryst didn't think we should go through with it, but I have to put his things out, you know. Now, where are you all headed; that's the question?”

“I shall go home, I suppose; but Tryst and the children—we don't know.”

“I guess I'll go home; but Tryst and the kids—we're not sure.”

The agent tapped his leggings with a riding-cane. “So you've been expecting it!” he said with relief. “That's right.” And, staring down at the mother-child, he added: “Well, what d'you say, my dear; you look full of sense, you do!”

The agent tapped his pants with a riding crop. “So you were expecting this!” he said with relief. “That's right.” And, looking down at the mother and child, he added: “Well, what do you think, my dear; you look really sensible, you do!”

Biddy answered: “I'll go and tell Mr. Freeland, sir.”

Biddy replied, “I’ll go let Mr. Freeland know, sir.”

“Ah! You're a bright maid. He'll know where to put you for the time bein'. Have you had your dinner?”

“Ah! You're a smart girl. He'll figure out where to place you for now. Have you had your dinner?”

“No, sir; it's just ready.”

“No, sir; it’s all set.”

“Better have it—better have it first. No hurry. What've you got in the pot that smells so good?”

“Better get it—better get it first. No rush. What's cooking in the pot that smells so good?”

“Bubble and squeak, sir.”

“Bubble and squeak, sir.”

“Bubble and squeak! Ah!” And with those words the agent withdrew to where, in a farm wagon drawn up by the side of the road, three men were solemnly pulling at their pipes. He moved away from them a little, for, as he expressed it to his wife afterward: “Look bad, you know, look bad—anybody seeing me! Those three little children—that's where it is! If our friends at the Hall had to do these jobs for themselves, there wouldn't be any to do!”

“Bubble and squeak! Ah!” And with that, the agent stepped back to where, in a farm wagon parked by the side of the road, three men were quietly smoking their pipes. He moved away from them a bit because, as he told his wife later: “Looks bad, you know, looks bad—anyone could see me! Those three little kids—that’s the issue! If our friends at the Hall had to handle these tasks themselves, there wouldn’t be any left to do!”

Presently, from his discreet distance, he saw the mother-child going down the road toward Tod's, in her blue 'pinny' and corn-colored hair. Nice little thing! Pretty little thing, too! Pity, great pity! And he went back to the cottage. On his way a thought struck him so that he well-nigh shivered. Suppose the little thing brought back that Mrs. Freeland, the lady who always went about in blue, without a hat! Phew! Mr. Freeland—he was another sort; a bit off, certainly—harmless, quite harmless! But that lady! And he entered the cottage. The woman was washing up; seemed a sensible body. When the two kids cleared off to school he could go to work and get it over; the sooner the better, before people came hanging round. A job of this kind sometimes made nasty blood! His yellowish eyes took in the nature of the task before him. Funny jam-up they did get about them, to be sure! Every blessed little thing they'd ever bought, and more, too! Have to take precious good care nothing got smashed, or the law would be on the other leg! And he said to the woman:

Currently, from his hidden spot, he saw the mother and child walking down the road toward Tod's, dressed in her blue apron and with corn-colored hair. What a cute little thing! Pretty, too! Such a shame, such a pity! Then he headed back to the cottage. On his way, a thought hit him hard enough to make him shiver. What if that little one brought back that Mrs. Freeland, the lady who always wore blue and never had a hat? Yikes! Mr. Freeland—he was a different story; a bit odd, for sure—harmless, definitely harmless! But that lady! He stepped into the cottage. The woman was doing the dishes; she seemed reasonable enough. Once the two kids went off to school, he could get to work and finish up; the sooner, the better, before people started showing up. A job like this could sometimes lead to bad trouble! His yellowish eyes assessed what lay ahead. It was quite the mess they managed to create, no doubt! Every single little item they'd ever bought, and even more! He needed to be extra careful not to break anything, or the law would be on his case! And he said to the woman:

“Now, miss, can I begin?”

“Excuse me, can I start?”

“I can't stop you, sir.”

"I can't stop you, sir."

'No,' he thought, 'you can't stop me, and I blamed well wish you could!' But he said: “Got an old wagon out here. Thought I'd save him damage by weather or anything; we'll put everything in that, and run it up into the empty barn at Marrow and leave it. And there they'll be for him when he wants 'em.”

'No,' he thought, 'you can't stop me, and I wish you could!' But he said: “I have an old wagon out here. I thought I'd protect it from the weather or anything; we’ll load everything into that and take it up to the empty barn at Marrow and leave it there. That way, it’ll be ready for him whenever he needs it.”

The woman answered: “You're very kind, I'm sure.”

The woman replied, “You’re really kind, I’m sure.”

Perceiving that she meant no irony, the agent produced a sound from somewhere deep and went out to summon his men.

Recognizing that she wasn't being sarcastic, the agent made a noise from somewhere deep inside and went out to call his men.

With the best intentions, however, it is not possible, even in villages so scattered that they cannot be said to exist, to do anything without every one's knowing; and the work of 'putting out' the household goods of the Tryst family, and placing them within the wagon, was not an hour in progress before the road in front of the cottage contained its knot of watchers. Old Gaunt first, alone—for the rogue-girl had gone to Mr. Cuthcott's and Tom Gaunt was at work. The old man had seen evictions in his time, and looked on silently, with a faint, sardonic grin. Four children, so small that not even school had any use for them as yet, soon gathered round his legs, followed by mothers coming to retrieve them, and there was no longer silence. Then came two laborers, on their way to a job, a stone-breaker, and two more women. It was through this little throng that the mother-child and Kirsteen passed into the fast-being-gutted cottage.

With the best intentions, however, even in villages so scattered that they can't really be said to exist, it's impossible to do anything without everyone knowing. The process of moving the Tryst family's household goods into the wagon took less than an hour before a group of onlookers gathered on the road in front of the cottage. Old Gaunt was the first to appear, alone—since the rogue-girl had gone to Mr. Cuthcott's and Tom Gaunt was at work. The old man had seen evictions in his time and watched silently, with a faint, sardonic grin. Four children, too young even for school, quickly gathered around his legs, followed by their mothers coming to fetch them, and soon there was no more silence. Then came two laborers on their way to a job, a stone-breaker, and two more women. It was through this little crowd that the mother and Kirsteen passed into the rapidly emptying cottage.

The agent was standing by Tryst's bed, keeping up a stream of comment to two of his men, who were taking that aged bed to pieces. It was his habit to feel less when he talked more; but no one could have fallen into a more perfect taciturnity than he when he saw Kirsteen coming up those narrow stairs. In so small a space as this room, where his head nearly touched the ceiling, was it fair to be confronted by that lady—he put it to his wife that same evening—“Was it fair?” He had seen a mother wild duck look like that when you took away its young—snaky fierce about the neck, and its dark eye! He had seen a mare, going to bite, look not half so vicious! “There she stood, and—let me have it?—not a bit! Too much the lady for that, you know!—Just looked at me, and said very quiet: 'Ah! Mr. Simmons, and are you really doing this?' and put her hand on that little girl of his. 'Orders are orders, ma'am!' What could I say? 'Ah!' she said, 'yes, orders are orders, but they needn't be obeyed.' 'As to that, ma'am,' I said—mind you, she's a lady; you can't help feeling that 'I'm a working man, the same as Tryst here; got to earn my living.' 'So have slave-drivers, Mr. Simmons.' 'Every profession,' I said, 'has got its dirty jobs, ma'am. And that's a fact.' 'And will have,' she said, 'so long as professional men consent to do the dirty work of their employers.' 'And where should I be, I should like to know,' I said, 'if I went on that lay? I've got to take the rough with the smooth.' 'Well,' she said, 'Mr. Freeland and I will take Tryst and the little ones in at present.' Good-hearted people, do a lot for the laborers, in their way. All the same, she's a bit of a vixen. Picture of a woman, too, standin' there; shows blood, mind you! Once said, all over—no nagging. She took the little girl off with her. And pretty small I felt, knowing I'd got to finish that job, and the folk outside gettin' nastier all the time—not sayin' much, of course, but lookin' a lot!” The agent paused in his recital and gazed fixedly at a bluebottle crawling up the windowpane. Stretching out his thumb and finger, he nipped it suddenly and threw it in the grate. “Blest if that fellow himself didn't turn up just as I was finishing. I was sorry for the man, you know. There was his home turned out-o'-doors. Big man, too! 'You blanky-blank!' he says; 'if I'd been here you shouldn't ha' done this!' Thought he was goin' to hit me. 'Come, Tryst!' I said, 'it's not my doing, you know!' 'Ah!' he said, 'I know that; and it'll be blanky well the worse for THEM!' Rough tongue; no class of man at all, he is! 'Yes,' he said, 'let 'em look out; I'll be even with 'em yet!' 'None o' that!' I told him; 'you know which side the law's buttered. I'm making it easy for you, too, keeping your things in the wagon, ready to shift any time!' He gave me a look—he's got very queer eyes, swimmin', sad sort of eyes, like a man in liquor—and he said: 'I've been here twenty years,' he said. 'My wife died here.' And all of a sudden he went as dumb as a fish. Never let his eyes off us, though, while we finished up the last of it; made me feel funny, seein' him glowering like that all the time. He'll savage something over this, you mark my words!” Again the agent paused, and remained as though transfixed, holding that face of his, whose yellow had run into the whites of the eyes, as still as wood. “He's got some feeling for the place, I suppose,” he said suddenly; “or maybe they've put it into him about his rights; there's plenty of 'em like that. Well, anyhow, nobody likes his private affairs turned inside out for every one to gape at. I wouldn't myself.” And with that deeply felt remark the agent put out his leathery-yellow thumb and finger and nipped a second bluebottle....

The agent was standing by Tryst's bed, chatting with two of his men who were taking apart that old bed. He usually felt less when he talked more; but no one could have been more silent than he was when he saw Kirsteen coming up those narrow stairs. In such a small space as this room, where his head almost touched the ceiling, was it fair to face that lady—he asked his wife that same evening—“Was it fair?” He had seen a mother wild duck look like that when you took away its young—snaky fierce around the neck, and that dark eye! He had seen a mare about to bite look not half so vicious! “There she stood, and—let me have it?—not a chance! Too much of a lady for that, you know!—Just looked at me, and said very quietly: 'Ah! Mr. Simmons, are you really doing this?' and put her hand on that little girl of his. 'Orders are orders, ma'am!' What could I say? 'Ah!' she said, 'yes, orders are orders, but they don’t have to be followed.' 'As for that, ma'am,' I said—mind you, she’s a lady; you can’t help but feel that 'I’m a working man, like Tryst here; I’ve got to earn my living.’ 'So do slave-drivers, Mr. Simmons.' 'Every profession,' I said, 'has its dirty jobs, ma'am. And that's a fact.' 'And will have,' she said, 'as long as professional men choose to do their employers’ dirty work.' 'And where would I be, I’d like to know,' I said, 'if I went down that path? I’ve got to take the rough with the smooth.' 'Well,' she said, 'Mr. Freeland and I will take Tryst and the little ones in for now.' Good-hearted people do a lot for laborers in their own way. Still, she's a bit of a firecracker. A striking woman, too, standing there; shows strength, you know! Once she said it all—no nagging. She took the little girl with her. And I felt pretty small, knowing I had to finish that job, with the folks outside growing nastier all the time—not saying much, of course, but looking a lot!” The agent paused in his story and stared fixedly at a bluebottle crawling up the windowpane. Stretching out his thumb and finger, he quickly nipped it and threw it in the grate. “Just as I was finishing, that guy himself showed up. I felt sorry for the man, you know. There was his home turned into a pile of stuff. Big guy, too! 'You blanky-blank!' he says; 'if I'd been here, you wouldn't have done this!' I thought he was going to hit me. 'Come on, Tryst!' I said, 'it's not my doing, you know!' 'Ah!' he said, 'I know that; and it’ll be blanky well the worse for THEM!' Rough tongue; no class about him at all! 'Yes,' he said, 'let 'em watch out; I’ll get even with 'em yet!' 'None of that!' I told him; 'you know which side the law's on. I'm making it easy for you, too, keeping your things in the wagon, ready to move at any time!' He gave me a look—he's got very strange eyes, watery, sad-looking, like a man who's drunk—and he said: 'I've been here twenty years,' he said. 'My wife died here.' And suddenly he went as silent as a fish. Never took his eyes off us, though, while we finished up the last of it; made me feel uneasy, seeing him glaring like that the whole time. He’ll lash out over this, mark my words!” Again the agent paused, remaining as if frozen, holding that face of his, whose yellow had run into the whites of his eyes, as still as wood. “He must have some feelings for the place, I suppose,” he said suddenly; “or maybe they've told him about his rights; there are plenty like that. Well, anyway, nobody likes their private life exposed for everyone to gawk at. I wouldn’t either.” And with that heartfelt remark, the agent put out his leathery-yellow thumb and finger and nipped a second bluebottle...

While the agent was thus recounting to his wife the day's doings, the evicted Tryst sat on the end of his bed in a ground-floor room of Tod's cottage. He had taken off his heavy boots, and his feet, in their thick, soiled socks, were thrust into a pair of Tod's carpet slippers. He sat without moving, precisely as if some one had struck him a blow in the centre of the forehead, and over and over again he turned the heavy thought: 'They've turned me out o' there—I done nothing, and they turned me out o' there! Blast them—they turned me out o' there!'...

While the agent was telling his wife about the day's events, the evicted Tryst sat on the edge of his bed in a ground-floor room of Tod's cottage. He had taken off his heavy boots, and his feet, in their thick, dirty socks, were shoved into a pair of Tod's carpet slippers. He sat completely still, as if someone had hit him right in the forehead, and he kept repeating the heavy thought: 'They kicked me out of there—I did nothing, and they kicked me out of there! Damn them—they kicked me out of there!'...

In the orchard Tod sat with a grave and puzzled face, surrounded by the three little Trysts. And at the wicket gate Kirsteen, awaiting the arrival of Derek and Sheila—summoned home by telegram—stood in the evening glow, her blue-clad figure still as that of any worshipper at the muezzin-call.

In the orchard, Tod sat with a serious and confused expression, surrounded by the three little Trysts. Meanwhile, at the gate, Kirsteen waited for Derek and Sheila—who were summoned home by a telegram—standing in the evening light, her blue outfit still as any worshipper responding to the call to prayer.





CHAPTER XIX

“A fire, causing the destruction of several ricks and an empty cowshed, occurred in the early morning of Thursday on the home farm of Sir Gerald Malloring's estate in Worcestershire. Grave suspicions of arson are entertained, but up to the present no arrest has been made. The authorities are in doubt whether the occurrence has any relation with recent similar outbreaks in the eastern counties.”

“A fire, which destroyed several haystacks and an empty cowshed, broke out on Thursday morning at Sir Gerald Malloring's home farm in Worcestershire. There are serious suspicions of arson, but so far, no arrests have been made. Authorities are uncertain whether this incident is connected to recent similar fires in the eastern counties.”

So Stanley read at breakfast, in his favorite paper; and the little leader thereon:

So Stanley read at breakfast, in his favorite newspaper; and the little editorial there:

“The outbreak of fire on Sir Gerald Malloring's Worcestershire property may or may not have any significance as a symptom of agrarian unrest. We shall watch the upshot with some anxiety. Certain it is that unless the authorities are prepared to deal sharply with arson, or other cases of deliberate damage to the property of landlords, we may bid good-by to any hope of ameliorating the lot of the laborer”

“The fire that broke out on Sir Gerald Malloring's Worcestershire property might be a sign of farming-related unrest, but we’ll keep an eye on what happens next with some concern. What’s clear is that if the authorities don’t take strong action against arson or other intentional damage to landlords’ property, we can say goodbye to any hope of improving the situation for laborers.”

—and so on.

—and so forth.

If Stanley had risen and paced the room there would have been a good deal to be said for him; for, though he did not know as much as Felix of the nature and sentiments of Tod's children, he knew enough to make any but an Englishman uneasy. The fact that he went on eating ham, and said to Clara, “Half a cup!” was proof positive of that mysterious quality called phlegm which had long enabled his country to enjoy the peace of a weedy duck-pond.

If Stanley had gotten up and walked around the room, he would have had a lot to justify his actions; even though he didn’t know as much as Felix about Tod's kids and their feelings, he knew enough to make anyone but an Englishman feel uncomfortable. The fact that he continued to eat ham and said to Clara, “Half a cup!” was clear evidence of that mysterious quality called phlegm, which had long allowed his country to enjoy the tranquility of a stagnant duck pond.

Stanley, a man of some intelligence—witness his grasp of the secret of successful plough-making (none for the home market!)—had often considered this important proposition of phlegm. People said England was becoming degenerate and hysterical, growing soft, and nervous, and towny, and all the rest of it. In his view there was a good deal of bosh about that! “Look,” he would say, “at the weight that chauffeurs put on! Look at the House of Commons, and the size of the upper classes!” If there were growing up little shrill types of working men and Socialists, and new women, and half-penny papers, and a rather larger crop of professors and long-haired chaps—all the better for the rest of the country! The flesh all these skimpy ones had lost, solid people had put on. The country might be suffering a bit from officialism, and the tendency of modern thought, but the breed was not changing. John Bull was there all right under his moustache. Take it off and clap on little side-whiskers, and you had as many Bulls as you liked, any day. There would be no social upheaval so long as the climate was what it was! And with this simple formula, and a kind of very deep-down throaty chuckle, he would pass to a subject of more immediate importance. There was something, indeed, rather masterly in his grasp of the fact that rain might be trusted to put out any fire—give it time. And he kept a special vessel in a special corner which recorded for him faithfully the number of inches that fell; and now and again he wrote to his paper to say that there were more inches in his vessel than there had been “for thirty years.” His conviction that the country was in a bad way was nothing but a skin affection, causing him local irritation rather than affecting the deeper organs of his substantial body.

Stanley, a fairly intelligent guy—just check out his understanding of the secret to successful plough-making (none for the local market!)—often thought about this key idea of calmness. People claimed that England was becoming weak and overreactive, getting soft, anxious, and too urban, among other things. He believed there was a lot of nonsense in that! “Look,” he would say, “at the weight that drivers are gaining! Look at the House of Commons and how large the upper classes are!” If there were increasingly shrill working-class men, Socialists, new women, and cheap newspapers, along with a growing number of professors and long-haired guys—all the better for the rest of the country! The weight that all these lean people had lost, solid individuals had gained. The country might be facing a bit of bureaucracy and the influence of modern ideas, but the essence wasn’t changing. John Bull was still there under his moustache. Take it off and slap on some sideburns, and you’d have as many Bulls as you wanted any day. There would be no major social change as long as the situation remained the same! With this straightforward formula, and a kind of deep, hearty chuckle, he would shift to a topic of more immediate interest. There was something impressive about his understanding that rain could be counted on to extinguish any fire—just give it some time. He kept a special container in a designated spot that reliably measured the number of inches that fell; now and then, he’d write to his newspaper to say that there were more inches in his container than there had been “in thirty years.” His belief that the country was in trouble was merely a surface issue, causing him some localized discomfort rather than affecting the deeper workings of his solid body.

He did not readily confide in Clara concerning his own family, having in a marked degree the truly domestic quality of thinking it superior to his wife's. She had been a Tomson, not one of THE Tomsons, and it was quite a question whether he or she were trying to forget that fact the faster. But he did say to her as he was getting into the car:

He didn't easily share details about his family with Clara, believing strongly that his own background was better than hers. She had been a Tomson, but not one of THE Tomsons, and it was debatable who was trying to forget that fact more quickly. But he did say to her as he was getting into the car:

“It's just possible I might go round by Tod's on my way home. I want a run.”

“It's possible I might swing by Tod's on my way home. I want to get a run in.”

She answered: “Be careful what you say to that woman. I don't want her here by any chance. The young ones were quite bad enough.”

She replied, “Be careful what you say to that woman. I really don’t want her around at all. The younger ones were already bad enough.”

And when he had put in his day at the works he did turn the nose of his car toward Tod's. Travelling along grass-bordered roads, the beauty of this England struck his not too sensitive spirit and made him almost gasp. It was that moment of the year when the countryside seems to faint from its own loveliness, from the intoxication of its scents and sounds. Creamy-white may, splashed here and there with crimson, flooded the hedges in breaking waves of flower-foam; the fields were all buttercup glory; every tree had its cuckoo, calling; every bush its blackbird or thrush in full even-song. Swallows were flying rather low, and the sky, whose moods they watch, had the slumberous, surcharged beauty of a long, fine day, with showers not far away. Some orchards were still in blossom, and the great wild bees, hunting over flowers and grasses warm to their touch, kept the air deeply murmurous. Movement, light, color, song, scent, the warm air, and the fluttering leaves were confused, till one had almost become the other.

And after finishing his day at work, he drove his car toward Tod's. As he traveled along the grass-lined roads, the beauty of this part of England struck his not-so-sensitive spirit and left him in awe. It was that time of year when the countryside seems to swoon from its own loveliness, overwhelmed by its scents and sounds. The creamy-white mayflowers, scattered with pops of crimson, covered the hedges like waves of floral foam; the fields were alive with buttercup glory; every tree had its cuckoo calling; every bush had its blackbird or thrush singing their evening songs. Swallows flew low, and the sky, which they keep an eye on, held the dreamy, saturated beauty of a long, lovely day, with rain showers not far off. Some orchards were still in bloom, and the great wild bees, buzzing over flowers and warm grasses, filled the air with a deep hum. Movement, light, color, song, scent, the warm air, and the rustling leaves blended together until they almost became indistinguishable.

And Stanley thought, for he was not rhapsodic 'Wonderful pretty country! The way everything's looked after—you never see it abroad!'

And Stanley thought, because he wasn’t overly enthusiastic, “What a wonderfully pretty country! The way everything is taken care of—you never see this anywhere else!”

But the car, a creature with little patience for natural beauty, had brought him to the crossroads and stood, panting slightly, under the cliff-bank whereon grew Tod's cottage, so loaded now with lilac, wistaria, and roses that from the road nothing but a peak or two of the thatched roof could be seen.

But the car, a machine with no appreciation for natural beauty, had taken him to the crossroads and was idling slightly beneath the cliff where Tod's cottage stood, so overgrown with lilacs, wisteria, and roses that from the road, you could see only a peak or two of the thatched roof.

Stanley was distinctly nervous. It was not a weakness his face and figure were very capable of showing, but he felt that dryness of mouth and quivering of chest which precede adventures of the soul. Advancing up the steps and pebbled path, which Clara had trodden once, just nineteen years ago, and he himself but three times as yet in all, he cleared his throat and said to himself: 'Easy, old man! What is it, after all? She won't bite!' And in the very doorway he came upon her.

Stanley was clearly nervous. It wasn't something his face and body were good at showing, but he felt that dry mouth and tight chest that come before a big moment. As he walked up the steps and the pebbled path that Clara had walked on just nineteen years earlier, and that he had only walked three times so far, he cleared his throat and said to himself, "Relax, man! What’s the big deal? She won’t bite!" And right at the doorway, he found her.

What there was about this woman to produce in a man of common sense such peculiar sensations, he no more knew after seeing her than before. Felix, on returning from his visit, had said, “She's like a Song of the Hebrides sung in the middle of a programme of English ballads.” The remark, as any literary man's might, had conveyed nothing to Stanley, and that in a far-fetched way. Still, when she said: “Will you come in?” he felt heavier and thicker than he had ever remembered feeling; as a glass of stout might feel coming across a glass of claret. It was, perhaps, the gaze of her eyes, whose color he could not determine, under eyebrows that waved in the middle and twitched faintly, or a dress that was blue, with the queerest effect of another color at the back of it, or perhaps the feeling of a torrent flowing there under a coat of ice, that might give way in little holes, so that your leg went in but not the whole of you. Something, anyway, made him feel both small and heavy—that awkward combination for a man accustomed to associate himself with cheerful but solid dignity. In seating himself by request at a table, in what seemed to be a sort of kitchen, he experienced a singular sensation in the legs, and heard her say, as it might be to the air:

What it was about this woman that stirred such strange feelings in a sensible man, he couldn't figure out any better after meeting her than he could before. Felix, upon returning from his visit, had said, “She's like a Song of the Hebrides performed in the middle of a set of English ballads.” That comment, as any literary person's might, meant nothing to Stanley and sounded pretty out there. Still, when she asked, “Will you come in?” he felt heavier and denser than he ever remembered feeling; like a glass of stout felt next to a glass of claret. Maybe it was the look in her eyes, whose color he couldn't pin down, under eyebrows that waved in the middle and twitched slightly, or her blue dress that had the strangest hint of another color at the back, or perhaps the sensation of a rushing stream flowing under a layer of ice that might give way in small spots, so your leg sank in but not the rest of you. Something made him feel both small and heavy—a weird mix for a man used to presenting himself with cheerful but solid dignity. As he sat down by her request at a table that seemed to be in some sort of kitchen, he felt a strange sensation in his legs, and heard her say, almost as if to the air:

“Biddy, dear, take Susie and Billy out.”

“Biddy, sweetheart, please take Susie and Billy outside.”

And thereupon a little girl with a sad and motherly face came crawling out from underneath the table, and dropped him a little courtesy. Then another still smaller girl came out, and a very small boy, staring with all his eyes.

And then a little girl with a sad, motherly face crawled out from under the table and gave him a tiny curtsy. After that, an even smaller girl came out, along with a very little boy, who stared with wide eyes.

All these things were against Stanley, and he felt that if he did not make it quite clear that he was there he would soon not know where he was.

All these things were working against Stanley, and he felt that if he didn't make it totally clear that he was present, he would soon lose track of where he was.

“I came,” he said, “to talk about this business up at Malloring's.” And, encouraged by having begun, he added: “Whose kids were those?”

“I came,” he said, “to talk about the situation at Malloring's.” And, feeling more confident after starting, he added: “Whose kids were those?”

A level voice with a faint lisp answered him:

A calm voice with a slight lisp replied to him:

“They belong to a man called Tryst; he was turned out of his cottage on Wednesday because his dead wife's sister was staying with him, so we've taken them in. Did you notice the look on the face of the eldest?”

“They belong to a guy named Tryst; he got kicked out of his cottage on Wednesday because his late wife's sister was staying with him, so we've taken them in. Did you see the expression on the face of the oldest one?”

Stanley nodded. In truth, he had noticed something, though what he could not have said.

Stanley nodded. In reality, he had noticed something, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

“At nine years old she has to do the housework and be a mother to the other two, besides going to school. This is all because Lady Malloring has conscientious scruples about marriage with a deceased wife's sister.”

“At nine years old, she has to handle the housework and take care of the other two kids, all while going to school. This is all because Lady Malloring feels strongly against marrying a deceased wife's sister.”

'Certainly'—thought Stanley—'that does sound a bit thick!' And he asked:

'Definitely'—thought Stanley—'that does sound a bit over the top!' And he asked:

“Is the woman here, too?”

“Is the woman here as well?”

“No, she's gone home for the present.”

“No, she’s gone home for now.”

He felt relief.

He felt relieved.

“I suppose Malloring's point is,” he said, “whether or not you're to do what you like with your own property. For instance, if you had let this cottage to some one you thought was harming the neighborhood, wouldn't you terminate his tenancy?”

“I guess Malloring's point is,” he said, “whether or not you should be able to do what you want with your own property. For example, if you rented this cottage to someone you thought was damaging the neighborhood, wouldn’t you end their lease?”

She answered, still in that level voice:

She replied, still in that calm voice:

“Her action is cowardly, narrow, and tyrannical, and no amount of sophistry will make me think differently.”

“Her action is cowardly, petty, and oppressive, and no amount of reasoning will change my mind.”

Stanley felt precisely as if one of his feet had gone through the ice into water so cold that it seemed burning hot! Sophistry! In a plain man like himself! He had always connected the word with Felix. He looked at her, realizing suddenly that the association of his brother's family with the outrage on Malloring's estate was probably even nearer than he had feared.

Stanley felt exactly like one of his feet had gone through the ice into water so cold that it felt scalding hot! Nonsense! In a straightforward guy like him! He had always linked that word with Felix. He stared at her, abruptly realizing that the connection between his brother's family and the incident on Malloring's estate was likely even closer than he had dreaded.

“Look here, Kirsteen!” he said, uttering the unlikely name with resolution, for, after all, she was his sister-in-law: “Did this fellow set fire to Malloring's ricks?”

“Look here, Kirsteen!” he said, saying the unusual name with determination, because after all, she was his sister-in-law: “Did this guy set fire to Malloring's haystacks?”

He was aware of a queer flash, a quiver, a something all over her face, which passed at once back to its intent gravity.

He noticed a strange glimmer, a twitch, something flashing across her face, which instantly returned to its serious demeanor.

“We have no reason to suppose so. But tyranny produces revenge, as you know.”

“We have no reason to think that. But tyranny breeds revenge, as you know.”

Stanley shrugged his shoulders. “It's not my business to go into the rights and wrongs of what's been done. But, as a man of the world and a relative, I do ask you to look after your youngsters and see they don't get into a mess. They're an inflammable young couple—young blood, you know!”

Stanley shrugged. “I’m not here to judge what’s right or wrong about what’s happened. But, as someone who’s experienced and part of the family, I do urge you to take care of your kids and make sure they don’t get into trouble. They’re a passionate young couple—young and full of energy, you know!”

Having made this speech, Stanley looked down, with a feeling that it would give her more chance.

Having finished this speech, Stanley looked down, feeling that it would give her more of a chance.

“You are very kind,” he heard her saying in that quiet, faintly lisping voice; “but there are certain principles involved.”

“You're very kind,” he heard her say in that soft, slightly lisping voice; “but there are certain principles at play.”

And, suddenly, his curious fear of this woman took shape. Principles! He had unconsciously been waiting for that word, than which none was more like a red rag to him.

And then, suddenly, his strange fear of this woman became clear. Principles! He had been unwittingly waiting for that word, which was more provoking to him than any red flag.

“What principles can possibly be involved in going against the law?”

“What principles could possibly justify breaking the law?”

“And where the law is unjust?”

“And what if the law is unfair?”

Stanley was startled, but he said: “Remember that your principles, as you call them, may hurt other people besides yourself; Tod and your children most of all. How is the law unjust, may I ask?”

Stanley was taken aback, but he replied, “Keep in mind that your so-called principles might hurt others besides you; Tod and your kids most of all. How is the law unfair, if I may ask?”

She had been sitting at the table opposite, but she got up now and went to the hearth. For a woman of forty-two—as he supposed she would be—she was extraordinarily lithe, and her eyes, fixed on him from under those twitching, wavy brows, had a curious glow in their darkness. The few silver threads in the mass of her over-fine black hair seemed to give it extra vitality. The whole of her had a sort of intensity that made him profoundly uncomfortable. And he thought suddenly: 'Poor old Tod! Fancy having to go to bed with that woman!'

She had been sitting at the table across from him, but now she got up and walked over to the fireplace. For a woman who was supposedly forty-two, she was surprisingly athletic, and her eyes, locked on him beneath those restless, wavy brows, had an intriguing shine in their darkness. The few strands of silver in her fine black hair seemed to add to its vibrant quality. There was an intensity about her that made him deeply uncomfortable. And he suddenly thought: 'Poor old Tod! Can you imagine having to go to bed with her?'

Without raising her voice, she began answering his question.

Without raising her voice, she started answering his question.

“These poor people have no means of setting law in motion, no means of choosing where and how they will live, no means of doing anything except just what they are told; the Mallorings have the means to set the law in motion, to choose where and how to live, and to dictate to others. That is why the law is unjust. With every independent pound a year, this equal law of yours—varies!”

“These unfortunate people can’t take legal action, can’t decide where and how they want to live, and can only do what they're instructed; the Mallorings can take legal action, choose where and how to live, and tell others what to do. That’s why the law is unfair. With every independent pound a year, this so-called equal law of yours—changes!”

“Phew!” said Stanley. “That's a proposition!”

“Wow!” said Stanley. “That's quite a proposition!”

“I give you a simple case. If I had chosen not to marry Tod but to live with him in free love, we could have done it without inconvenience. We have some independent income; we could have afforded to disregard what people thought or did. We could have bought (as we did buy) our piece of land and our cottage, out of which we could not have been turned. Since we don't care for society, it would have made absolutely no difference to our present position. But Tryst, who does not even want to defy the law—what happens to him? What happens to hundreds of laborers all over the country who venture to differ in politics, religion, or morals from those who own them?”

“I’ll give you a straightforward example. If I had decided not to marry Tod but to live with him in an open relationship, we could have done it without any issues. We have some independent income; we could have ignored what people thought or did. We could have bought (just like we did) our piece of land and our cottage, which we couldn’t have been forced to leave. Since we aren’t concerned with society, it wouldn’t have made any difference to our current situation. But what about Tryst, who doesn’t even want to challenge the law—what happens to him? What happens to hundreds of workers all over the country who risk differing in politics, religion, or morals from those who control them?”

'By George!' thought Stanley, 'it's true, in a way; I never looked at it quite like that.' But the feeling that he had come to persuade her to be reasonable, and the deeply rooted Englishry of him, conspired to make him say:

'Wow!' thought Stanley, 'it's true, in a way; I never thought of it like that.' But the feeling that he had come to convince her to be reasonable, along with his strong English roots, pushed him to say:

“That's all very well; but, you see, it's only a necessary incident of property-holding. You can't interfere with plain rights.”

“That's all fine and good; but, you see, it's just a necessary part of owning property. You can't mess with basic rights.”

“You mean—an evil inherent in property-holding?”

“You're saying there’s a problem built into owning property?”

“If you like; I don't split words. The lesser of two evils. What's your remedy? You don't want to abolish property; you've confessed that property gives YOU your independence!”

"If you want; I don’t mince words. The lesser of two evils. What's your solution? You don’t want to eliminate property; you've admitted that property gives YOU your independence!"

Again that curious quiver and flash!

Again that curious shiver and spark!

“Yes; but if people haven't decency enough to see for themselves how the law favors their independence, they must be shown that it doesn't pay to do to others as they would hate to be done by.”

“Yes; but if people don’t have enough decency to realize how the law supports their independence, they need to be shown that it's not worth it to treat others in ways they wouldn’t want to be treated themselves.”

“And you wouldn't try reasoning?”

"And you wouldn't try to reason?"

“They are not amenable to reason.”

“They are not open to reason.”

Stanley took up his hat.

Stanley picked up his hat.

“Well, I think some of us are. I see your point; but, you know, violence never did any good; it isn't—isn't English.”

“Well, I think some of us are. I see what you mean; but, you know, violence never solved anything; it isn't—it's not English.”

She did not answer. And, nonplussed thereby, he added lamely: “I should have liked to have seen Tod and your youngsters. Remember me to them. Clara sent her regards;” and, looking round the room in a rather lost way, he held out his hand.

She didn’t answer. Feeling a bit awkward, he added weakly, “I would have loved to see Tod and your kids. Say hi to them for me. Clara sent her regards,” and, glancing around the room in a somewhat confused manner, he extended his hand.

He had an impression of something warm and dry put into it, with even a little pressure.

He felt something warm and dry pressed into it, with just a bit of pressure.

Back in the car, he said to his chauffeur, “Go home the other way, Batter, past the church.”

Back in the car, he said to his driver, “Take the other route home, Batter, past the church.”

The vision of that kitchen, with its brick floor, its black oak beams, bright copper pans, the flowers on the window-sill, the great, open hearth, and the figure of that woman in her blue dress standing before it, with her foot poised on a log, clung to his mind's eye with curious fidelity. And those three kids, popping out like that—proof that the whole thing was not a rather bad dream! 'Queer business!' he thought; 'bad business! That woman's uncommonly all there, though. Lot in what she said, too. Where the deuce should we all be if there were many like her!' And suddenly he noticed, in a field to the right, a number of men coming along the hedge toward the road—evidently laborers. What were they doing? He stopped the car. There were fifteen or twenty of them, and back in the field he could see a girl's red blouse, where a little group of four still lingered. 'By George!' he thought, 'those must be the young Tods going it!' And, curious to see what it might mean, Stanley fixed his attention on the gate through which the men were bound to come. First emerged a fellow in corduroys tied below the knee, with long brown moustaches decorating a face that, for all its haggardness, had a jovial look. Next came a sturdy little red-faced, bow-legged man in shirt-sleeves rolled up, walking alongside a big, dark fellow with a cap pushed up on his head, who had evidently just made a joke. Then came two old men, one of whom was limping, and three striplings. Another big man came along next, in a little clearance, as it were, between main groups. He walked heavily, and looked up lowering at the car. The fellow's eyes were queer, and threatening, and sad—giving Stanley a feeling of discomfort. Then came a short, square man with an impudent, loquacious face and a bit of swagger in his walk. He, too, looked up at Stanley and made some remark which caused two thin-faced fellows with him to grin sheepishly. A spare old man, limping heavily, with a yellow face and drooping gray moustaches, walked next, alongside a warped, bent fellow, with yellowish hair all over his face, whose expression struck Stanley as half-idiotic. Then two more striplings of seventeen or so, whittling at bits of sticks; an active, clean-shorn chap with drawn-in cheeks; and, last of all, a small man by himself, without a cap on a round head covered with thin, light hair, moving at a 'dot-here, dot-there' walk, as though he had beasts to drive.

The image of that kitchen, with its brick floor, black oak beams, shiny copper pans, flowers on the windowsill, the big open hearth, and the figure of that woman in her blue dress standing in front of it, with her foot resting on a log, stuck in his mind with strange clarity. And those three kids popping out like that—proof that this wasn’t just some bad dream! 'Odd business!' he thought; 'not great business! That woman is definitely sharp, though. She had a lot of good points in what she said, too. Where would we all be if there were more like her?' Then he suddenly noticed a bunch of men coming along the hedge toward the road—clearly laborers. What were they doing? He stopped the car. There were about fifteen or twenty of them, and in the field, he could see a girl in a red blouse, where a little group of four still lingered. 'Good grief!' he thought, 'those must be the young Tods out here!' And, curious to see what was going on, Stanley focused on the gate the men were coming through. First came a guy in corduroys tied below the knee, with long brown mustaches on a face that, despite looking tired, had a cheerful vibe. Next was a sturdy little red-faced, bow-legged man in rolled-up shirt sleeves, walking next to a big, dark guy with a cap pushed back on his head, who clearly just cracked a joke. Then two old men followed, one of them limping, along with three teenagers. Another big guy appeared next, moving heavily, looking up at the car with a scowl. There was something off about his eyes—they looked strange, threatening, and sad—making Stanley feel uneasy. Then a short, stocky guy with a cheeky, chatterbox face and a bit of swagger in his walk came along. He, too, glanced up at Stanley and made a comment that made two thin-faced guys with him chuckle sheepishly. Next was a frail old man, limping badly, with a yellow complexion and drooping gray mustaches, walking beside a warped, bent man whose yellowish hair covered his face and whose expression struck Stanley as somewhat simple-minded. Then there were two more teenagers around seventeen, whittling away at bits of sticks; a active, clean-shaven guy with sunken cheeks; and finally, a small man all by himself, hatless, with a round head covered in thin, light hair, moving in a wandering way, as if he had animals to herd.

Stanley noted that all—save the big man with the threatening, sad eyes, the old, yellow-faced man with a limp, and the little man who came out last, lost in his imaginary beasts—looked at the car furtively as they went their ways. And Stanley thought: 'English peasant! Poor devil! Who is he? What is he? Who'd miss him if he did die out? What's the use of all this fuss about him? He's done for! Glad I've nothing to do with him at Becket, anyway! “Back to the land!” “Independent peasantry!” Not much! Shan't say that to Clara, though; knock the bottom out of her week-ends!' And to his chauffeur he muttered:

Stanley observed that everyone—except for the big guy with the menacing, sorrowful eyes, the old man with a yellow face and a limp, and the little man who came out last, lost in his daydreams—glanced at the car nervously as they went about their business. And Stanley thought: 'English peasant! Poor guy! Who is he? What’s his story? Who would even care if he vanished? Why is everyone making such a big deal about him? He’s finished! Glad I have nothing to do with him at Becket, anyway! “Back to the land!” “Independent farming!” Not really! I won’t mention that to Clara, though; it would ruin her weekends!' And he muttered to his chauffeur:

“Get on, Batter!”

“Go for it, Batter!”

So, through the peace of that country, all laid down in grass, through the dignity and loveliness of trees and meadows, this May evening, with the birds singing under a sky surcharged with warmth and color, he sped home to dinner.

So, through the peaceful countryside, all covered in grass, surrounded by the beauty and grace of trees and fields, on this May evening, with birds singing under a warm and colorful sky, he hurried home for dinner.





CHAPTER XX

But next morning, turning on his back as it came dawn, Stanley thought, with the curious intensity which in those small hours so soon becomes fear: 'By Jove! I don't trust that woman a yard! I shall wire for Felix!' And the longer he lay on his back, the more the conviction bored a hole in him. There was a kind of fever in the air nowadays, that women seemed to catch, as children caught the measles. What did it all mean? England used to be a place to live in. One would have thought an old country like this would have got through its infantile diseases! Hysteria! No one gave in to that. Still, one must look out! Arson was about the limit! And Stanley had a vision, suddenly, of his plough-works in flames. Why not? The ploughs were not for the English market. Who knew whether these laboring fellows mightn't take that as a grievance, if trouble began to spread? This somewhat far-fetched notion, having started to burrow, threw up a really horrid mole-hill on Stanley. And it was only the habit, in the human mind, of saying suddenly to fears: Stop! I'm tired of you! that sent him to sleep about half past four.

But the next morning, as dawn broke and he lay on his back, Stanley thought, with a curious intensity that often turns to fear in those early hours: 'Wow! I don't trust that woman at all! I should call Felix!' The longer he lay there, the more this conviction dug into him. It felt like there was a strange fever in the air these days that women seemed to catch like kids catch measles. What was going on? England used to be a stable place. You'd think an old country like this would have outgrown its childish issues! Hysteria! No one should give in to that. Still, one had to be cautious! Arson was pushing it! Suddenly, Stanley imagined his plow works going up in flames. Why not? The plows weren't meant for the English market. Who knew if these laborers might see that as a reason to get upset if trouble started to spread? This somewhat wild idea, once it started to dig in, created a truly awful worry in Stanley. And it was only the human tendency to abruptly tell fears: Enough! I'm done with you! that finally let him sleep around half past four.

He did not, however, neglect to wire to Felix:

He didn’t forget to text Felix:

“If at all possible, come down again at once; awkward business at Joyfields.”

“If you can, come down right away; it's a tricky situation at Joyfields.”

Nor, on the charitable pretext of employing two old fellows past ordinary work, did he omit to treble his night-watchman....

Nor, under the kind excuse of giving jobs to two old guys who were past regular work, did he forget to triple his night-watchman...

On Wednesday, the day of which he had seen the dawn rise, Felix had already been startled, on returning from his constitutional, to discover his niece and nephew in the act of departure. All the explanation vouchsafed had been: “Awfully sorry, Uncle Felix; Mother's wired for us.” Save for the general uneasiness which attended on all actions of that woman, Felix would have felt relieved at their going. They had disturbed his life, slipped between him and Nedda! So much so that he did not even expect her to come and tell him why they had gone, nor feel inclined to ask her. So little breaks the fine coherence of really tender ties! The deeper the quality of affection, the more it 'starts and puffs,' and from sheer sensitive feeling, each for the other, spares attempt to get back into touch!

On Wednesday, the day he had watched the sunrise, Felix was already surprised, after coming back from his walk, to find his niece and nephew getting ready to leave. The only explanation he got was, “Sorry, Uncle Felix; Mom's sent for us.” If it weren't for the general anxiety that came with anything involving that woman, Felix would have felt relieved that they were leaving. They had interrupted his life, coming between him and Nedda! He was so thrown off that he didn’t even expect her to come and explain their departure, nor did he feel like asking her. It takes so little to disrupt the delicate balance of truly close relationships! The stronger the affection, the more it fluctuates, and out of a genuine sense of caring for one another, they both avoid trying to reconnect!

His paper—though he did not apply to it the word 'favorite,' having that proper literary feeling toward all newspapers, that they took him in rather than he them—gave him on Friday morning precisely the same news, of the rick-burning, as it gave to Stanley at breakfast and to John on his way to the Home Office. To John, less in the know, it merely brought a knitting of the brow and a vague attempt to recollect the numbers of the Worcestershire constabulary. To Felix it brought a feeling of sickness. Men whose work in life demands that they shall daily whip their nerves, run, as a rule, a little in advance of everything. And goodness knows what he did not see at that moment. He said no word to Nedda, but debated with himself and Flora what, if anything, was to be done. Flora, whose sense of humor seldom deserted her, held the more comfortable theory that there was nothing to be done as yet. Soon enough to cry when milk was spilled! He did not agree, but, unable to suggest a better course, followed her advice. On Saturday, however, receiving Stanley's wire, he had much difficulty in not saying to her, “I told you so!” The question that agitated him now was whether or not to take Nedda with him. Flora said: “Yes. The child will be the best restraining influence, if there is really trouble brewing!” Some feeling fought against this in Felix, but, suspecting it to be mere jealousy, he decided to take her. And, to the girl's rather puzzled delight, they arrived at Becket that day in time for dinner. It was not too reassuring to find John there, too. Stanley had also wired to him. The matter must indeed be serious!

His newspaper—though he didn’t call it his 'favorite,' having that proper literary feeling toward all newspapers, which was that they were more interested in him than he was in them—gave him the same news on Friday morning about the rick-burning as it gave to Stanley at breakfast and to John on his way to the Home Office. For John, who was less informed, it brought a furrowed brow and a vague attempt to remember the numbers of the Worcestershire police. For Felix, it brought a feeling of nausea. Men whose work requires them to manage their nerves daily usually stay a little ahead of everything. And God knows what he did not see at that moment. He didn’t say anything to Nedda but debated with himself and Flora about what, if anything, should be done. Flora, whose sense of humor rarely left her, held the more comforting view that there was nothing to be done for now. No point in crying over spilled milk! He didn’t agree, but unable to think of a better plan, he followed her advice. However, on Saturday, after receiving Stanley’s message, he had a hard time not saying to her, “I told you so!” The question that troubled him now was whether or not to take Nedda with him. Flora said, “Yes. The child will be the best calming influence if there really is trouble!” Some feeling fought against this in Felix, but suspecting it was just jealousy, he decided to take her. And to the girl’s rather confused delight, they arrived at Becket that day in time for dinner. It was not very reassuring to find John there as well. Stanley had also messaged him. This situation must be serious!

The usual week-end was in progress. Clara had made one of her greatest efforts. A Bulgarian had providentially written a book in which he showed, beyond doubt, that persons fed on brown bread, potatoes, and margarine, gave the most satisfactory results of all. It was a discovery of the first value as a topic for her dinner-table—seeming to solve the whole vexed problem of the laborers almost at one stroke. If they could only be got to feed themselves on this perfect programme, what a saving of the situation! On those three edibles, the Bulgarian said—and he had been well translated—a family of five could be maintained at full efficiency for a shilling per day. Why! that would leave nearly eight shillings a week, in many cases more, for rent, firing, insurance, the man's tobacco, and the children's boots. There would be no more of that terrible pinching by the mothers, to feed the husband and children properly, of which one heard so much; no more lamentable deterioration in our stock! Brown bread, potatoes, margarine—quite a great deal could be provided for seven shillings! And what was more delicious than a well-baked potato with margarine of good quality? The carbohydrates—or was it hybocardrates—ah, yes! the kybohardrates—would be present in really sufficient quantity! Little else was talked of all through dinner at her end of the table. Above the flowers which Frances Freeland always insisted on arranging—and very charmingly—when she was there—over bare shoulders and white shirt-fronts, those words bombed and rebombed. Brown bread, potatoes, margarine, carbohydrates, calorific! They mingled with the creaming sizzle of champagne, with the soft murmur of well-bred deglutition. White bosoms heaved and eyebrows rose at them. And now and again some Bigwig versed in science murmured the word 'Fats.' An agricultural population fed to the point of efficiency without disturbance of the existing state of things! Eureka! If only into the bargain they could be induced to bake their own brown bread and cook their potatoes well! Faces flushed, eyes brightened, and teeth shone. It was the best, the most stimulating, dinner ever swallowed in that room. Nor was it until each male guest had eaten, drunk, and talked himself into torpor suitable to the company of his wife, that the three brothers could sit in the smoking-room together, undisturbed.

The usual weekend was underway. Clara had made one of her greatest efforts. A Bulgarian had fortuitously written a book proving, without a doubt, that people who ate brown bread, potatoes, and margarine had the best results. This was a fantastic discovery for dinner conversation—seeming to almost single-handedly solve the entire problem of working-class families. If only they could be encouraged to stick to this ideal diet, what a relief it would be! According to the Bulgarian—who had been translated well—a family of five could be completely supported on just a shilling a day with those three foods. Wow! That would leave almost eight shillings a week, and often more, for rent, heating, insurance, the dad's tobacco, and the kids' boots. No more of those awful sacrifices by mothers to ensure their husbands and children were well-fed, of which we heard so much; no more worrying decline in our population! Brown bread, potatoes, margarine—quite a lot could be provided for seven shillings! And what could be more delicious than a perfectly baked potato with quality margarine? The carbohydrates—or was it hybocardrates—oh yes! the kybohardrates—would actually be present in sufficient amounts! Little else was discussed throughout dinner at her end of the table. Above the flowers that Frances Freeland always insisted on arranging—and very beautifully—when she was there—over bare shoulders and white shirt-fronts, those words echoed repeatedly. Brown bread, potatoes, margarine, carbohydrates, calorific! They mixed with the creamy sizzle of champagne, with the soft murmuring of polite swallowing. White skin glowed and eyebrows raised at these topics. Now and then, some important person knowledgeable in science uttered the word 'Fats.' An agricultural community fed to the point of efficiency without any disruption to the status quo! Eureka! If only they could also be persuaded to bake their own brown bread and cook their potatoes properly! Faces flushed, eyes brightened, and smiles sparkled. It was the best, most invigorating dinner ever enjoyed in that room. It wasn't until each male guest had eaten, drunk, and conversed himself into a comfortable stupor befitting the company of his wife that the three brothers could sit together in the smoking room, undisturbed.

When Stanley had described his interview with 'that woman,' his glimpse of the red blouse, and the laborers' meeting, there was a silence before John said:

When Stanley talked about his interview with 'that woman,' his brief sighting of the red blouse, and the workers' meeting, there was a pause before John said:

“It might be as well if Tod would send his two youngsters abroad for a bit.”

“It might be a good idea for Tod to send his two kids abroad for a while.”

Felix shook his head.

Felix shook his head.

“I don't think he would, and I don't think they'd go. But we might try to get those two to see that anything the poor devils of laborers do is bound to recoil on themselves, fourfold. I suppose,” he added, with sudden malice, “a laborers' rising would have no chance?”

“I don't think he would, and I don't think they'd go. But we might try to get those two to understand that anything the poor workers do is bound to backfire on them, four times over. I suppose,” he added, with sudden malice, “a workers' uprising wouldn't stand a chance?”

Neither John nor Stanley winced.

Neither John nor Stanley flinched.

“Rising? Why should they rise?”

"Rising? Why should they?"

“They did in '32.”

“They did in '32.”

“In '32!” repeated John. “Agriculture had its importance then. Now it has none. Besides, they've no cohesion, no power, like the miners or railway men. Rising? No chance, no earthly! Weight of metal's dead against it.”

“In '32!” John repeated. “Agriculture mattered back then. Now it doesn’t have any significance. Plus, they lack unity and influence, unlike the miners or railroad workers. Rising up? Not a chance, no way! The weight of metal is totally against it.”

Felix smiled.

Felix grinned.

“Money and guns! Guns and money! Confess with me, brethren, that we're glad of metal.”

“Money and guns! Guns and money! Admit it, everyone, we’re happy for our metal.”

John stared and Stanley drank off his whiskey and potash. Felix really was a bit 'too thick' sometimes. Then Stanley said:

John stared while Stanley downed his whiskey and potash. Felix really could be a bit 'too much' sometimes. Then Stanley said:

“Wonder what Tod thinks of it all. Will you go over, Felix, and advise that our young friends be more considerate to these poor beggars?”

“I'm curious about what Tod thinks about everything. Can you go over, Felix, and suggest that our young friends be nicer to these poor beggars?”

Felix nodded. And with 'Good night, old man' all round, and no shaking of the hands, the three brothers dispersed.

Felix nodded. With "Good night, old man" said all around and without any handshakes, the three brothers went their separate ways.

But behind Felix, as he opened his bedroom door, a voice whispered:

But as Felix opened his bedroom door, a voice whispered behind him:

“Dad!” And there, in the doorway of the adjoining room, was Nedda in her dressing-gown.

“Dad!” And there, in the doorway of the next room, was Nedda in her robe.

“Do come in for a minute. I've been waiting up. You ARE late.”

“Come in for a minute. I've been waiting. You’re late.”

Felix followed her into her room. The pleasure he would once have had in this midnight conspiracy was superseded now, and he stood blinking at her gravely. In that blue gown, with her dark hair falling on its lace collar and her face so round and childish, she seemed more than ever to have defrauded him. Hooking her arm in his, she drew him to the window; and Felix thought: 'She just wants to talk to me about Derek. Dog in the manger that I am! Here goes to be decent!' So he said:

Felix followed her into her room. The thrill he would have felt about this midnight secret was gone now, and he stood there blinking at her seriously. In that blue dress, with her dark hair cascading over the lace collar and her face so round and youthful, she seemed even more like she had cheated him. Hooking her arm through his, she pulled him to the window; and Felix thought: 'She just wants to talk to me about Derek. What a selfish jerk I am! Here goes to be decent!' So he said:

“Well, my dear?”

"Well, my dear?"

Nedda pressed his hand with a little coaxing squeeze.

Nedda gave his hand a gentle squeeze to encourage him.

“Daddy, darling, I do love you!”

“Dad, sweetheart, I really love you!”

And, though Felix knew that she had grasped what he was feeling, a sort of warmth spread in him. She had begun counting his fingers with one of her own, sitting close beside him. The warmth in Felix deepened, but he thought: 'She must want a good deal out of me!' Then she began:

And, even though Felix realized she understood how he felt, he felt a warmth spreading inside him. She started counting his fingers with one of her own, sitting close to him. The warmth within Felix grew stronger, but he thought, 'She must want a lot from me!' Then she began:

“Why did we come down again? I know there's something wrong! It's hard not to know, when you're anxious.” And she sighed. That little sigh affected Felix.

“Why did we come down again? I know something's off! It's hard not to feel it when you're anxious.” And she sighed. That little sigh affected Felix.

“I'd always rather know the truth, Dad. Aunt Clara said something about a fire at the Mallorings'.”

“I’d always rather know the truth, Dad. Aunt Clara mentioned something about a fire at the Mallorings’.”

Felix stole a look at her. Yes! There was a lot in this child of his! Depth, warmth, and strength to hold to things. No use to treat her as a child! And he answered:

Felix glanced at her. Yes! This child of his had so much to offer! Depth, warmth, and strength to hold on to things. No point in treating her like a child! And he replied:

“My dear, there's really nothing beyond what you know—our young man and Sheila are hotheads, and things over there are working up a bit. We must try and smooth them down.”

“My dear, there's really nothing more than what you already know—our young guy and Sheila are hotheaded, and things over there are getting a little intense. We need to try and calm them down.”

“Dad, ought I to back him whatever he does?”

“Dad, should I support him no matter what he does?”

What a question! The more so that one cannot answer superficially the questions of those whom one loves.

What a question! Especially since you can't give a shallow answer to the questions of those you love.

“Ah!” he said at last. “I don't know yet. Some things it's not your duty to do; that's certain. It can't be right to do things simply because he does them—THAT'S not real—however fond one is.”

“Ah!” he finally said. “I don’t know yet. Some things aren’t your responsibility to do; that’s for sure. It can’t be right to do things just because he does them—THAT’S not genuine—no matter how much you care.”

“No; I feel that. Only, it's so hard to know what I do really think—there's always such a lot trying to make one feel that only what's nice and cosey is right!”

“No; I get that. It’s just hard to know what I really think—there’s always so much pushing to make you feel that only what’s nice and cozy is right!”

And Felix thought: 'I've been brought up to believe that only Russian girls care for truth. It seems I was wrong. The saints forbid I should be a stumbling-block to my own daughter searching for it! And yet—where's it all leading? Is this the same child that told me only the other night she wanted to know everything? She's a woman now! So much for love!' And he said:

And Felix thought: 'I've always been taught that only Russian girls care about the truth. I guess I was mistaken. God forbid I become an obstacle for my own daughter as she seeks it! But still—where is this all going? Is this the same child who told me just the other night that she wanted to know everything? She's a woman now! So much for love!' And he said:

“Let's go forward quietly, without expecting too much of ourselves.”

“Let's move ahead calmly, without putting too much pressure on ourselves.”

“Yes, Dad; only I distrust myself so.”

“Yes, Dad; it’s just that I don’t trust myself that much.”

“No one ever got near the truth who didn't.”

“No one ever got close to the truth if they didn't.”

“Can we go over to Joyfields to-morrow? I don't think I could bear a whole day of Bigwigs and eating, with this hanging—”

“Can we go to Joyfields tomorrow? I don't think I can handle a whole day of Bigwigs and eating with this hanging over me—”

“Poor Bigwigs! All right! We'll go. And now, bed; and think of nothing!”

“Poor Bigwigs! Alright! We'll go. And now, off to bed; and don't think about anything!”

Her whisper tickled his ear:

Her whisper tickled his ear:

“You are a darling to me, Dad!”

“You mean so much to me, Dad!”

He went out comforted.

He went out feeling reassured.

And for some time after she had forgotten everything he leaned out of his window, smoking cigarettes, and trying to see the body and soul of night. How quiet she was—night, with her mystery, bereft of moon, in whose darkness seemed to vibrate still the song of the cuckoos that had been calling so all day! And whisperings of leaves communed with Felix.

And for a while after she had forgotten everything, he leaned out of his window, smoking cigarettes and trying to take in the essence of the night. How silent the night was—with its mysteries, without a moon, where the darkness seemed to still resonate with the song of the cuckoos that had been calling all day! And the rustling leaves whispered to Felix.





CHAPTER XXI

What Tod thought of all this was, perhaps, as much of an enigma to Tod as to his three brothers, and never more so than on that Sunday morning when two police constables appeared at his door with a warrant for the arrest of Tryst. After regarding them fixedly for full thirty seconds, he said, “Wait!” and left them in the doorway.

What Tod thought about all this was, perhaps, as much of a mystery to Tod as it was to his three brothers, and never more so than on that Sunday morning when two police officers showed up at his door with a warrant for Tryst's arrest. After staring at them for a solid thirty seconds, he said, “Wait!” and walked away, leaving them in the doorway.

Kirsteen was washing breakfast things which had a leadless glaze, and Tryst's three children, extremely tidy, stood motionless at the edge of the little scullery, watching.

Kirsteen was washing the breakfast dishes, which had a lead-free glaze, and Tryst's three kids, looking very neat, stood still at the edge of the small kitchen, watching.

When she had joined him in the kitchen Tod shut the door.

When she joined him in the kitchen, Tod shut the door.

“Two policemen,” he said, “want Tryst. Are they to have him?”

“Two cops,” he said, “want Tryst. Are they going to get him?”

In the life together of these two there had, from the very start, been a queer understanding as to who should decide what. It had become by now so much a matter of instinct that combative consultations, which bulk so large in married lives, had no place in theirs. A frowning tremor passed over her face.

In the time these two spent together, there was a strange agreement from the very beginning about who should make decisions. It had become so instinctual by now that the usual arguments and discussions that are common in marriages didn’t exist in theirs. A worried look crossed her face.

“I suppose they must. Derek is out. Leave it to me, Tod, and take the tinies into the orchard.”

“I guess they have to. Derek is gone. Just leave it to me, Tod, and take the little ones into the orchard.”

Tod took the three little Trysts to the very spot where Derek and Nedda had gazed over the darkening fields in exchanging that first kiss, and, sitting on the stump of the apple-tree he had cut down, he presented each of them with an apple. While they ate, he stared. And his dog stared at him. How far there worked in Tod the feelings of an ordinary man watching three small children whose only parent the law was just taking into its charge it would be rash to say, but his eyes were extremely blue and there was a frown between them.

Tod took the three little Trysts to the exact spot where Derek and Nedda had looked out over the darkening fields during their first kiss. Sitting on the stump of the apple tree he had cut down, he gave each of them an apple. While they ate, he stared. And his dog stared at him. It would be risky to say how much Tod felt like an ordinary man watching three small children whose only parent the law was just taking into custody, but his eyes were very blue and there was a frown between them.

“Well, Biddy?” he said at last.

“Well, Biddy?” he finally asked.

Biddy did not reply; the habit of being a mother had imposed on her, together with the gravity of her little, pale, oval face, a peculiar talent for silence. But the round-cheeked Susie said:

Biddy didn’t respond; her experience as a mother, along with the seriousness of her small, pale, oval face, had given her a unique skill for being quiet. But the round-cheeked Susie said:

“Billy can eat cores.”

"Billy can eat apple cores."

After this statement, silence was broken only by munching, till Tod remarked:

After this comment, the only sound was the sound of munching until Tod said:

“What makes things?”

“What creates things?”

The children, having the instinct that he had not asked them, but himself, came closer. He had in his hand a little beetle.

The children, sensing that he hadn't asked them, but was speaking to himself, stepped closer. He held a small beetle in his hand.

“This beetle lives in rotten wood; nice chap, isn't he?”

“This beetle lives in decayed wood; cool guy, right?”

“We kill beetles; we're afraid of them.” So Susie.

“We kill beetles; we're scared of them.” So Susie.

They were now round Tod so close that Billy was standing on one of his large feet, Susie leaning her elbows on one of his broad knees, and Biddy's slender little body pressed against his huge arm.

They were now gathered around Tod so closely that Billy was standing on one of his large feet, Susie resting her elbows on one of his wide knees, and Biddy's petite little body pressed against his massive arm.

“No,” said Tod; “beetles are nice chaps.”

“No,” said Tod; “beetles are cool guys.”

“The birds eats them,” remarked Billy.

“The birds eat them,” remarked Billy.

“This beetle,” said Tod, “eats wood. It eats through trees and the trees get rotten.”

“This beetle,” Tod said, “eats wood. It burrows through trees and makes them rot.”

Biddy spoke:

Biddy said:

“Then they don't give no more apples.” Tod put the beetle down and Billy got off his foot to tread on it. When he had done his best the beetle emerged and vanished in the grass. Tod, who had offered no remonstrance, stretched out his hand and replaced Billy on his foot.

“Then they don't give any more apples.” Tod set the beetle down and Billy got off his foot to step on it. After he did his best, the beetle came out and disappeared into the grass. Tod, who hadn’t complained, reached out his hand and put Billy back on his foot.

“What about my treading on you, Billy?” he said.

“What about me stepping on you, Billy?” he said.

“Why?”

"Why?"

“I'm big and you're little.”

"I'm large and you're small."

On Billy's square face came a puzzled defiance. If he had not been early taught his station he would evidently have found some poignant retort. An intoxicated humblebee broke the silence by buzzing into Biddy's fluffed-out, corn-gold hair. Tod took it off with his hand.

On Billy's square face appeared a confused defiance. If he hadn't been taught his place from an early age, he clearly would have come up with a sharp comeback. A drunken bumblebee broke the silence by buzzing into Biddy's fluffy, golden hair. Tod removed it with his hand.

“Lovely chap, isn't he?”

“Nice guy, isn’t he?”

The children, who had recoiled, drew close again, while the drunken bee crawled feebly in the cage of Tod's large hand.

The kids, who had pulled back, moved closer again, while the drunken bee crawled weakly in the cage of Tod's large hand.

“Bees sting,” said Biddy; “I fell on a bee and it stang me!”

“Bees sting,” said Biddy; “I landed on a bee and it stung me!”

“You stang it first,” said Tod. “This chap wouldn't sting—not for worlds. Stroke it!”

“You stung it first,” said Tod. “This guy wouldn't sting—not for anything. Just stroke it!”

Biddy put out her little, pale finger but stayed it a couple of inches from the bee.

Biddy extended her small, pale finger but paused a couple of inches away from the bee.

“Go on,” said Tod.

"Go ahead," said Tod.

Opening her mouth a little, Biddy went on and touched the bee.

Opening her mouth slightly, Biddy continued and touched the bee.

“It's soft,” she said. “Why don't it buzz?”

“It's soft,” she said. “Why doesn't it buzz?”

“I want to stroke it, too,” said Susie. And Billy stamped a little on Tod's foot.

“I want to pet it, too,” said Susie. And Billy stepped on Tod's foot a little.

“No,” said Tod; “only Biddy.”

“No,” said Tod; “just Biddy.”

There was perfect silence till the dog, rising, approached its nose, black with a splash of pinky whiteness on the end of the bridge, as if to love the bee.

There was complete silence until the dog stood up and approached with its nose, black with a touch of pinkish-white at the tip, as if to affectionately regard the bee.

“No,” said Tod. The dog looked at him, and his yellow-brown eyes were dark with anxiety.

“No,” said Tod. The dog looked at him, its yellow-brown eyes filled with worry.

“It'll sting the dog's nose,” said Biddy, and Susie and Billy came yet closer.

“It'll sting the dog's nose,” Biddy said, and Susie and Billy moved in even closer.

It was at this moment, when the heads of the dog, the bee, Tod, Biddy, Susie, and Billy might have been contained within a noose three feet in diameter, that Felix dismounted from Stanley's car and, coming from the cottage, caught sight of that little idyll under the dappled sunlight, green, and blossom. It was something from the core of life, out of the heartbeat of things—like a rare picture or song, the revelation of the childlike wonder and delight, to which all other things are but the supernumerary casings—a little pool of simplicity into which fever and yearning sank and were for a moment drowned. And quite possibly he would have gone away without disturbing them if the dog had not growled and wagged his tail.

At that moment, when the heads of the dog, the bee, Tod, Biddy, Susie, and Billy could have all fit inside a three-foot-wide noose, Felix got out of Stanley's car and, coming from the cottage, noticed that little scene under the dappled sunlight, greenery, and blossoms. It was something from the essence of life, from the heartbeat of existence—like a rare picture or song, revealing childlike wonder and joy, while everything else was just extra layers— a small pool of simplicity where fever and longing faded away for a moment. He probably would have walked away without interrupting them if the dog hadn't growled and wagged its tail.

But when the children had been sent down into the field he experienced the usual difficulty in commencing a talk with Tod. How far was his big brother within reach of mere unphilosophic statements; how far was he going to attend to facts?

But when the kids were sent out into the field, he faced the usual struggle to start a conversation with Tod. How much could his big brother handle straightforward statements, and how much was he going to pay attention to the facts?

“We came back yesterday,” he began; “Nedda and I. You know all about Derek and Nedda, I suppose?”

“We got back yesterday,” he started; “Nedda and I. You know all about Derek and Nedda, right?”

Tod nodded.

Tod nodded.

“What do you think of it?”

“What do you think about it?”

“He's a good chap.”

“He's a good guy.”

“Yes,” murmured Felix, “but a firebrand. This business at Malloring's—what's it going to lead to, Tod? We must look out, old man. Couldn't you send Derek and Sheila abroad for a bit?”

“Yes,” murmured Felix, “but a troublemaker. This situation at Malloring's—what's it going to lead to, Tod? We need to be careful, my friend. Could you send Derek and Sheila overseas for a while?”

“Wouldn't go.”

"Not going."

“But, after all, they're dependent on you.”

“But, after all, they rely on you.”

“Don't say that to them; I should never see them again.”

“Don’t say that to them; I never want to see them again.”

Felix, who felt the instinctive wisdom of that remark, answered helplessly:

Felix, feeling the deep truth in that comment, replied helplessly:

“What's to be done, then?”

“What should we do now?”

“Sit tight.” And Tod's hand came down on Felix's shoulder.

“Hang on.” And Tod's hand landed on Felix's shoulder.

“But suppose they get into real trouble? Stanley and John don't like it; and there's Mother.” And Felix added, with sudden heat, “Besides, I can't stand Nedda being made anxious like this.”

“But what if they really get into trouble? Stanley and John aren't okay with it; and then there's Mom.” And Felix added, with sudden intensity, “Plus, I can’t stand seeing Nedda worried like this.”

Tod removed his hand. Felix would have given a good deal to have been able to see into the brain behind the frowning stare of those blue eyes.

Tod pulled his hand away. Felix would have paid a lot to be able to understand what was going on in the mind behind that frowning gaze of those blue eyes.

“Can't help by worrying. What must be, will. Look at the birds!”

“Can’t help but worry. What will happen, will happen. Just look at the birds!”

The remark from any other man would have irritated Felix profoundly; coming from Tod, it seemed the unconscious expression of a really felt philosophy. And, after all, was he not right? What was this life they all lived but a ceaseless worrying over what was to come? Was not all man's unhappiness caused by nervous anticipations of the future? Was not that the disease, and the misfortune, of the age; perhaps of all the countless ages man had lived through?

The comment from anyone else would have deeply irritated Felix; coming from Tod, it felt like a genuine expression of a really understood philosophy. And, wasn’t he right? What was this life they all lived if not a constant worry about what was to come? Wasn’t all of humanity’s unhappiness caused by anxious thoughts about the future? Wasn’t that the sickness—and the misfortune—of this time, perhaps of all the countless ages humanity had gone through?

With an effort he recalled his thoughts from that far flight. What if Tod had rediscovered the secret of the happiness that belonged to birds and lilies of the field—such overpowering interest in the moment that the future did not exist? Why not? Were not the only minutes when he himself was really happy those when he lost himself in work, or love? And why were they so few? For want of pressure to the square moment. Yes! All unhappiness was fear and lack of vitality to live the present fully. That was why love and fighting were such poignant ecstasies—they lived their present to the full. And so it would be almost comic to say to those young people: Go away; do nothing in this matter in which your interest and your feelings are concerned! Don't have a present, because you've got to have a future! And he said:

With effort, he pulled his thoughts back from that distant place. What if Tod had figured out the secret to the happiness that belonged to birds and wildflowers—an overwhelming focus on the moment that made the future nonexistent? Why not? Weren't the only times he truly felt happy the moments when he immersed himself in work or love? And why were those moments so rare? Because there wasn't enough pressure to make each moment count. Yes! All unhappiness stemmed from fear and the inability to fully live in the present. That’s why love and conflict brought such intense joy—they experienced their present completely. So it would be almost ridiculous to tell those young people: Go away; don’t engage in something that matters to you emotionally! Don’t live in the present because you need to think about the future! And he said:

“I'd give a good deal for your power of losing yourself in the moment, old boy!”

“I'd pay a lot for your ability to just lose yourself in the moment, buddy!”

“That's all right,” said Tod. He was examining the bark of a tree, which had nothing the matter with it, so far as Felix could see; while his dog, who had followed them, carefully examined Tod. Both were obviously lost in the moment. And with a feeling of defeat Felix led the way back to the cottage.

“That's okay,” said Tod. He was looking at the bark of a tree, which seemed perfectly fine, as far as Felix could tell; meanwhile, his dog, who had followed them, was closely inspecting Tod. Both were clearly absorbed in the moment. Feeling defeated, Felix turned and headed back to the cottage.

In the brick-floored kitchen Derek was striding up and down; while around him, in an equilateral triangle, stood the three women, Sheila at the window, Kirsteen by the open hearth, Nedda against the wall opposite. Derek exclaimed at once:

In the kitchen with brick floors, Derek was pacing back and forth, while the three women formed an equilateral triangle around him: Sheila by the window, Kirsteen by the open hearth, and Nedda leaning against the wall opposite. Derek spoke up immediately:

“Why did you let them, Father? Why didn't you refuse to give him up?”

“Why did you let them, Dad? Why didn't you say no to giving him up?”

Felix looked at his brother. In the doorway, where his curly head nearly touched the wood, Tod's face was puzzled, rueful. He did not answer.

Felix looked at his brother. In the doorway, where his curly head almost brushed the wood, Tod's face showed confusion and regret. He didn't respond.

“Any one could have said he wasn't here. We could have smuggled him away. Now the brutes have got him! I don't know that, though—” And he made suddenly for the door.

“Anyone could have said he wasn't here. We could have snuck him out. Now the idiots have got him! I’m not sure about that, though—” And he suddenly headed for the door.

Tod did not budge. “No,” he said.

Tod didn’t move. “No,” he said.

Derek turned; his mother was at the other door; at the window, the two girls.

Derek turned; his mom was at the other door; by the window, the two girls.

The comedy of this scene, if there be comedy in the face of grief, was for the moment lost on Felix.

The humor of this scene, if there is humor in the midst of sorrow, was at that moment lost on Felix.

'It's come,' he thought. 'What now?'

'It’s here,' he thought. 'What now?'

Derek had flung himself down at the table and was burying his head in his hands. Sheila went up to him.

Derek had thrown himself down at the table and was hiding his head in his hands. Sheila approached him.

“Don't be a fool, Derek.”

“Don't be an idiot, Derek.”

However right and natural that remark, it seemed inadequate.

However right and natural that comment was, it felt insufficient.

And Felix looked at Nedda. The blue motor scarf she had worn had slipped off her dark head; her face was white; her eyes, fixed immovably on Derek, seemed waiting for him to recognize that she was there. The boy broke out again:

And Felix looked at Nedda. The blue scarf she had worn had slipped off her dark hair; her face was pale; her eyes, locked on Derek, seemed to be waiting for him to notice that she was there. The boy broke out again:

“It was treachery! We took him in; and now we've given him up. They wouldn't have touched US if we'd got him away. Not they!”

“It was betrayal! We took him in, and now we’ve let him go. They wouldn’t have bothered us if we had gotten him out. Not at all!”

Felix literally heard the breathing of Tod on one side of him and of Kirsteen on the other. He crossed over and stood opposite his nephew.

Felix could actually hear Tod breathing on one side and Kirsteen on the other. He moved across and stood in front of his nephew.

“Look here, Derek,” he said; “your mother was quite right. You might have put this off for a day or two; but it was bound to come. You don't know the reach of the law. Come, my dear fellow! It's no good making a fuss, that's childish—the thing is to see that the man gets every chance.”

“Listen, Derek,” he said. “Your mom was completely right. You could have postponed this for a day or two, but it was inevitable. You don't understand how far the law can go. Come on, my friend! There's no point in making a fuss; that's immature—the important thing is to ensure the guy gets every chance.”

Derek looked up. Probably he had not yet realized that his uncle was in the room; and Felix was astonished at his really haggard face; as if the incident had bitten and twisted some vital in his body.

Derek looked up. He probably hadn't realized yet that his uncle was in the room, and Felix was shocked by his really worn-out face, as if the incident had bitten and twisted something essential inside him.

“He trusted us.”

“He had faith in us.”

Felix saw Kirsteen quiver and flinch, and understood why they had none of them felt quite able to turn their backs on that display of passion. Something deep and unreasoning was on the boy's side; something that would not fit with common sense and the habits of civilized society; something from an Arab's tent or a Highland glen. Then Tod came up behind and put his hands on his son's shoulders.

Felix noticed Kirsteen shudder and pull back, and he realized why none of them felt ready to ignore that display of passion. There was something profound and irrational on the boy's part; something that clashed with common sense and the norms of civilized society; something that belonged in an Arab's tent or a Highland glen. Then Tod approached from behind and placed his hands on his son's shoulders.

“Come!” he said; “milk's spilt.”

"Come!" he said; "milk's spilled."

“All right!” said Derek gruffly, and he went to the door.

“All right!” Derek said gruffly as he headed to the door.

Felix made Nedda a sign and she slipped out after him.

Felix gave Nedda a signal, and she quietly followed him out.





CHAPTER XXII

Nedda, her blue head-gear trailing, followed along at the boy's side while he passed through the orchard and two fields; and when he threw himself down under an ash-tree she, too, subsided, waiting for him to notice her.

Nedda, with her blue headscarf flowing behind her, walked alongside the boy as he made his way through the orchard and across two fields; and when he lay down beneath an ash tree, she also settled down, waiting for him to notice her.

“I am here,” she said at last.

"I'm here," she finally said.

At that ironic little speech Derek sat up.

At that ironic little speech, Derek sat up.

“It'll kill him,” he said.

“It will kill him,” he said.

“But—to burn things, Derek! To light horrible cruel flames, and burn things, even if they aren't alive!”

“But—to set things on fire, Derek! To create terrible, cruel flames and burn things, even if they’re not alive!”

Derek said through his teeth:

Derek said through clenched teeth:

“It's I who did it! If I'd never talked to him he'd have been like the others. They were taking him in a cart, like a calf.”

“I'm the one who did it! If I hadn't talked to him, he would have been just like the others. They were taking him away in a cart, like a calf.”

Nedda got possession of his hand and held it tight.

Nedda grabbed his hand and held it tight.

That was a bitter and frightening hour under the faintly rustling ash-tree, while the wind sprinkled over her flakes of the may blossom, just past its prime. Love seemed now so little a thing, seemed to have lost warmth and power, seemed like a suppliant outside a door. Why did trouble come like this the moment one felt deeply?

That was a tough and scary hour under the softly rustling ash tree, while the wind scattered bits of the may blossom, just past its peak. Love felt so small, seemed to have lost its warmth and strength, like a beggar outside a door. Why did trouble show up like this the moment one felt something deeply?

The church bell was tolling; they could see the little congregation pass across the churchyard into that weekly dream they knew too well. And presently the drone emerged, mingling with the voices outside, of sighing trees and trickling water, of the rub of wings, birds' songs, and the callings of beasts everywhere beneath the sky.

The church bell was ringing; they could see the small congregation walking across the churchyard into that familiar routine they recognized all too well. And soon, the sounds blended together with the voices outside—the rustling trees and flowing water, the flutter of wings, birds singing, and the calls of animals everywhere under the sky.

In spite of suffering because love was not the first emotion in his heart, the girl could only feel he was right not to be loving her; that she ought to be glad of what was eating up all else within him. It was ungenerous, unworthy, to want to be loved at such a moment. Yet she could not help it! This was her first experience of the eternal tug between self and the loved one pulled in the hearts of lovers. Would she ever come to feel happy when he was just doing what he thought was right? And she drew a little away from him; then perceived that unwittingly she had done the right thing, for he at once tried to take her hand again. And this was her first lesson, too, in the nature of man. If she did not give her hand, he wanted it! But she was not one of those who calculate in love; so she gave him her hand at once. That went to his heart; and he put his arm round her, till he could feel the emotion under those stays that would not be drawn any closer. In this nest beneath the ash-tree they sat till they heard the organ wheeze and the furious sound of the last hymn, and saw the brisk coming-forth with its air of, 'Thank God! And now, to eat!' till at last there was no stir again about the little church—no stir at all save that of nature's ceaseless thanksgiving....

Despite the pain of knowing love wasn’t his primary feeling, the girl recognized he was right not to love her; she felt she should be grateful for what consumed him entirely. It felt selfish and unworthy to want love at that moment. Yet she couldn’t help it! This was her first taste of the ongoing struggle between selfishness and selflessness in the hearts of lovers. Would she ever learn to feel happy just seeing him do what he believed was right? She instinctively pulled away from him, only to realize she had actually done the right thing when he immediately reached for her hand again. This was also her first lesson about men: if she didn’t offer her hand, he wanted it! But she wasn’t someone who overthinks in love; she gave him her hand right away. That gesture touched his heart, and he wrapped his arm around her, feeling the emotions beneath the stays that wouldn’t let them get any closer. They sat in that cozy spot under the ash tree until they heard the organ wheeze and the loud sounds of the final hymn, watching as the congregation emerged with the attitude of, 'Thank God! Now, let’s eat!' Until finally, there was no movement around the little church—no movement at all except for nature’s endless gratitude....

Tod, his brown face still rueful, had followed those two out into the air, and Sheila had gone quickly after him. Thus left alone with his sister-in-law, Felix said gravely:

Tod, his brown face still regretful, had followed those two out into the fresh air, and Sheila had quickly gone after him. Left alone with his sister-in-law, Felix said seriously:

“If you don't want the boy to get into real trouble, do all you can to show him that the last way in the world to help these poor fellows is to let them fall foul of the law. It's madness to light flames you can't put out. What happened this morning? Did the man resist?”

“If you don't want the kid to get into serious trouble, do everything you can to show him that the worst way to help these poor guys is to let them get in trouble with the law. It's crazy to start fires you can't extinguish. What happened this morning? Did the guy put up a fight?”

Her face still showed how bitter had been her mortification, and he was astonished that she kept her voice so level and emotionless.

Her face still revealed how deeply embarrassed she had been, and he was amazed that she managed to keep her voice so calm and emotionless.

“No. He went with them quite quietly. The back door was open; he could have walked out. I did not advise him to. I'm glad no one saw his face except myself. You see,” she added, “he's devoted to Derek, and Derek knows it; that's why he feels it so, and will feel it more and more. The boy has a great sense of honour, Felix.”

“No. He went with them very calmly. The back door was open; he could have walked out. I didn’t suggest that he should. I’m glad no one saw his face except me. You see,” she added, “he’s devoted to Derek, and Derek knows it; that’s why he feels it so strongly, and he will feel it even more as time goes on. The boy has a strong sense of honor, Felix.”

Under that tranquillity Felix caught the pain and yearning in her voice. Yes! This woman really felt and saw. She was not one of those who make disturbance with their brains and powers of criticism; rebellion leaped out from the heat in her heart. But he said:

Under that calm, Felix sensed the pain and longing in her voice. Yes! This woman truly felt and perceived. She wasn't one of those who create chaos with their intellect and criticism; rebellion surged from the passion in her heart. But he responded:

“Is it right to fan this flame? Do you think any good end is being served?” Waiting for her answer, he found himself gazing at the ghost of dark down on her upper lip, wondering that he had never noticed it before.

“Is it right to fan this flame? Do you think any good is coming from this?” Waiting for her answer, he found himself staring at the shadow of hair on her upper lip, realizing he had never noticed it before.

Very low, as if to herself, she said:

Very quietly, almost to herself, she said:

“I would kill myself to-day if I didn't believe that tyranny and injustice must end.”

“I would take my own life today if I didn't believe that tyranny and injustice have to come to an end.”

“In our time?”

"In our era?"

“Perhaps not.”

"Maybe not."

“Are you content to go on working for an Utopia that you will never see?”

“Are you happy to keep working for a Utopia that you will never experience?”

“While our laborers are treated and housed more like dogs than human beings, while the best life under the sun—because life on the soil might be the best life—is despised and starved, and made the plaything of people's tongues, neither I nor mine are going to rest.”

“While our workers are treated and housed more like dogs than humans, while the best life under the sun—because living off the land might be the best life—is looked down upon, neglected, and becomes the subject of gossip, neither I nor my family will rest.”

The admiration she inspired in Felix at that moment was mingled with a kind of pity. He said impressively:

The admiration she stirred in Felix at that moment was mixed with a sort of pity. He said earnestly:

“Do you know the forces you are up against? Have you looked into the unfathomable heart of this trouble? Understood the tug of the towns, the call of money to money; grasped the destructive restlessness of modern life; the abysmal selfishness of people when you threaten their interests; the age-long apathy of those you want to help? Have you grasped all these?”

“Do you understand the challenges you're facing? Have you examined the deep-rooted issues at play here? Comprehended the pull of the towns, the lure of wealth to wealth; recognized the relentless restlessness of modern existence; the deep selfishness of people when their interests are at stake; the long-standing indifference of those you aim to assist? Have you fully grasped all of this?”

“And more!”

"And more!"

Felix held out his hand. “Then,” he said, “you are truly brave!”

Felix extended his hand. “Then,” he said, “you’re really brave!”

She shook her head.

She shook her head.

“It got bitten into me very young. I was brought up in the Highlands among the crofters in their worst days. In some ways the people here are not so badly off, but they're still slaves.”

“It was drilled into me from a young age. I grew up in the Highlands among the crofters during their toughest times. In some ways, the people here don't have it too bad, but they're still trapped.”

“Except that they can go to Canada if they want, and save old England.”

“Except they can go to Canada if they want and save old England.”

She flushed. “I hate irony.”

She blushed. "I hate irony."

Felix looked at her with ever-increasing interest; she certainly was of the kind that could be relied on to make trouble.

Felix looked at her with growing curiosity; she was definitely the type who could be counted on to cause trouble.

“Ah!” he murmured. “Don't forget that when we can no longer smile we can only swell and burst. It IS some consolation to reflect that by the time we've determined to do something really effectual for the ploughmen of England there'll be no ploughmen left!”

“Ah!” he murmured. “Don’t forget that when we can’t smile anymore, we can only swell up and explode. It’s somewhat comforting to think that by the time we’ve decided to actually do something meaningful for the farmers of England, there won’t be any farmers left!”

“I cannot smile at that.”

"I can't smile at that."

And, studying her face, Felix thought, 'You're right there! You'll get no help from humor.'...

And, looking at her face, Felix thought, 'You're absolutely right! Humor won't help you here.'

Early that afternoon, with Nedda between them, Felix and his nephew were speeding toward Transham.

Early that afternoon, with Nedda between them, Felix and his nephew were racing toward Transham.

The little town—a hamlet when Edmund Moreton dropped the E from his name and put up the works which Stanley had so much enlarged—had monopolized by now the hill on which it stood. Living entirely on its ploughs, it yet had but little of the true look of a British factory town, having been for the most part built since ideas came into fashion. With its red roofs and chimneys, it was only moderately ugly, and here and there an old white, timbered house still testified to the fact that it had once been country. On this fine Sunday afternoon the population were in the streets, and presented all that long narrow-headedness, that twist and distortion of feature, that perfect absence of beauty in face, figure, and dress, which is the glory of the Briton who has been for three generations in a town. 'And my great-grandfather'—thought Felix—'did all this! God rest his soul!'

The little town—a village when Edmund Moreton dropped the E from his name and built the facilities that Stanley had expanded—had by now taken over the hill it was on. Relying entirely on agriculture, it still didn’t have the typical look of a British factory town, having mostly been constructed since modern ideas became popular. With its red roofs and chimneys, it was only somewhat unattractive, and here and there an old white timber-framed house still showed that it used to be rural. On this beautiful Sunday afternoon, the residents were in the streets, displaying that long, narrow-headed appearance, those twisted and distorted features, that complete lack of beauty in their faces, figures, and clothing, which is the hallmark of Brits who have lived in town for three generations. 'And my great-grandfather'—thought Felix—'did all this! God rest his soul!'

At a rather new church on the very top they halted, and went in to inspect the Morton memorials. There they were, in dedicated corners. 'Edmund and his wife Catherine'—'Charles Edmund and his wife Florence'—'Maurice Edmund and his wife Dorothy.' Clara had set her foot down against 'Stanley and his wife Clara' being in the fourth; her soul was above ploughs, and she, of course, intended to be buried at Becket, as Clara, dowager Lady Freeland, for her efforts in regard to the land. Felix, who had a tendency to note how things affected other people, watched Derek's inspection of these memorials and marked that they excited in him no tendency to ribaldry. The boy, indeed, could hardly be expected to see in them what Felix saw—an epitome of the great, perhaps fatal, change that had befallen his native country; a record of the beginning of that far-back fever, whose course ran ever faster, which had emptied country into town and slowly, surely, changed the whole spirit of life. When Edmund Moreton, about 1780, took the infection disseminated by the development of machinery, and left the farming of his acres to make money, that thing was done which they were all now talking about trying to undo, with their cries of: “Back to the land! Back to peace and sanity in the shade of the elms! Back to the simple and patriarchal state of feeling which old documents disclose. Back to a time before these little squashed heads and bodies and features jutted every which way; before there were long squashed streets of gray houses; long squashed chimneys emitting smoke-blight; long squashed rows of graves; and long squashed columns of the daily papers. Back to well-fed countrymen who could not read, with Common rights, and a kindly feeling for old 'Moretons,' who had a kindly feeling for them!” Back to all that? A dream! Sirs! A dream! There was nothing for it now, but—progress! Progress! On with the dance! Let engines rip, and the little, squash-headed fellows with them! Commerce, literature, religion, science, politics, all taking a hand; what a glorious chance had money, ugliness, and ill will! Such were the reflections of Felix before the brass tablet:

At a relatively new church at the very top, they stopped and went in to check out the Morton memorials. There they were, in dedicated corners: 'Edmund and his wife Catherine'—'Charles Edmund and his wife Florence'—'Maurice Edmund and his wife Dorothy.' Clara had firmly opposed 'Stanley and his wife Clara' being in the fourth; she believed she was above such mundane matters, and she, of course, planned to be buried at Becket, as Clara, dowager Lady Freeland, for her contributions regarding the land. Felix, who often noticed how things impacted others, observed Derek's examination of these memorials and noted that they didn't provoke any mockery in him. The boy, in fact, could hardly be expected to see in them what Felix saw—an epitome of the significant, perhaps disastrous, change that had affected his homeland; a record of the start of that old fever, whose pace quickened, which had drained the countryside into cities and slowly, inevitably transformed the entire spirit of life. When Edmund Moreton, around 1780, caught the infection spread by the rise of machinery and left farming his land to earn money, that was when the thing they were all now discussing trying to reverse happened, with their shouts of: “Back to the land! Back to peace and sanity in the shade of the elms! Back to the simple and patriarchal feeling that old documents reveal. Back to a time before these little squashed heads and bodies jutted in every direction; before there were long, cramped streets of gray houses; long, cramped chimneys spewing smoke; long, cramped rows of graves; and long, cramped columns of daily newspapers. Back to well-fed country folk who couldn’t read, with common rights, and a warm regard for the old 'Moretons,' who cared for them!” Back to all that? A dream! Gentlemen! A dream! There was no going back now but—progress! Progress! On with the dance! Let the machines roar, and the little, squash-headed folks along with them! Commerce, literature, religion, science, politics, all playing a part; what an incredible opportunity had money, ugliness, and bad intentions! Such were Felix's thoughts before the brass tablet:

                 “IN LOVING MEMORY OF
                     EDMUND MORTON
                         AND
                   HIS DEVOTED WIFE
                      CATHERINE.

           AT REST IN THE LORD.  A.D., 1816.”
 
                 “IN LOVING MEMORY OF
                     EDMUND MORTON
                         AND
                   HIS DEVOTED WIFE
                      CATHERINE.

           AT REST IN THE LORD.  A.D., 1816.”

From the church they went about their proper business, to interview a Mr. Pogram, of the firm of Pogram & Collet, solicitors, in whose hands the interests of many citizens of Transham and the country round were almost securely deposited. He occupied, curiously enough, the house where Edmund Morton himself had lived, conducting his works on the one hand and the squirearchy of the parish on the other. Incorporated now into the line of a long, loose street, it still stood rather apart from its neighbors, behind some large shrubs and trees of the holmoak variety.

From the church, they went about their business to meet Mr. Pogram from the firm Pogram & Collet, solicitors, who handled the interests of many citizens of Transham and the surrounding area. Interestingly, he lived in the same house where Edmund Morton had once lived, balancing his work on one side and managing the local gentry on the other. Now part of a long, loose street, it still stood somewhat apart from its neighbors, hidden behind large shrubs and trees of the holmoak variety.

Mr. Pogram, who was finishing his Sunday after-lunch cigar, was a short, clean-shaved man with strong cheeks and those rather lustful gray-blue eyes which accompany a sturdy figure. He rose when they were introduced, and, uncrossing his fat little thighs, asked what he could do for them.

Mr. Pogram, who was finishing his Sunday afternoon cigar, was a short, clean-shaven man with strong cheeks and those somewhat eager gray-blue eyes that match a sturdy build. He stood up when they were introduced and, uncrossing his chubby thighs, asked how he could help them.

Felix propounded the story of the arrest, so far as might be, in words of one syllable, avoiding the sentimental aspect of the question, and finding it hard to be on the side of disorder, as any modern writer might. There was something, however, about Mr. Pogram that reassured him. The small fellow looked a fighter—looked as if he would sympathize with Tryst's want of a woman about him. The tusky but soft-hearted little brute kept nodding his round, sparsely covered head while he listened, exuding a smell of lavender-water, cigars, and gutta-percha. When Felix ceased he said, rather dryly:

Felix shared the story of the arrest as simply as possible, steering clear of any sentimental details and struggling to support chaos, just like any modern writer would. Still, there was something about Mr. Pogram that made him feel reassured. The little guy appeared tough and seemed like he would understand Tryst's need for a woman by his side. The tough yet soft-hearted little guy kept nodding his round, thinly-haired head as he listened, giving off a scent of lavender, cigars, and gutta-percha. When Felix finished, he said, rather dryly:

“Sir Gerald Malloring? Yes. Sir Gerald's country agents, I rather think, are Messrs. Porter of Worcester. Quite so.”

“Sir Gerald Malloring? Yes. I believe Sir Gerald's country agents are Messrs. Porter of Worcester. Exactly.”

And a conviction that Mr. Pogram thought they should have been Messrs. Pogram & Collet of Transham confirmed in Felix the feeling that they had come to the right man.

And Mr. Pogram's belief that they should be called Pogram & Collet of Transham reinforced Felix's sense that they had chosen the right person.

“I gather,” Mr. Pogram said, and he looked at Nedda with a glance from which he obviously tried to remove all earthly desires, “that you, sir, and your nephew wish to go and see the man. Mrs. Pogram will be delighted to show Miss Freeland our garden. Your great-grandfather, sir, on the mother's side, lived in this house. Delighted to meet you; often heard of your books; Mrs. Pogram has read one—let me see—'The Bannister,' was it?”

“I understand,” Mr. Pogram said, looking at Nedda with a gaze he clearly tried to strip of any earthly desires, “that you and your nephew want to go see the man. Mrs. Pogram would be happy to show Miss Freeland our garden. Your great-grandfather, on your mother's side, lived in this house. Nice to meet you; I’ve often heard about your books; Mrs. Pogram has read one—let me think—'The Bannister,' was it?”

“'The Balustrade,'” Felix answered gently.

"'The Balustrade,'" Felix replied softly.

Mr. Pogram rang the bell. “Quite so,” he said. “Assizes are just over so that he can't come up for trial till August or September; pity—great pity! Bail in cases of arson—for a laborer, very doubtful! Ask your mistress to come, please.”

Mr. Pogram rang the bell. “Exactly,” he said. “The trials are done for now, so he won't be able to stand trial until August or September; what a shame—such a shame! Getting bail in arson cases—for a worker, it's very uncertain! Please ask your boss to come.”

There entered a faded rose of a woman on whom Mr. Pogram in his time had evidently made a great impression. A vista of two or three little Pograms behind her was hastily removed by the maid. And they all went into the garden.

There came in a worn-out beauty of a woman on whom Mr. Pogram had clearly made a significant impact in his day. A glimpse of two or three little Pograms behind her was quickly taken away by the maid. Then, they all went into the garden.

“Through here,” said Mr. Pogram, coming to a side door in the garden wall, “we can make a short cut to the police station. As we go along I shall ask you one or two blunt questions.” And he thrust out his under lip:

“Through here,” Mr. Pogram said, reaching a side door in the garden wall, “we can take a shortcut to the police station. As we walk, I’ll ask you a couple of direct questions.” He pushed out his lower lip:

“For instance, what's your interest in this matter?”

“For example, what’s your interest in this issue?”

Before Felix could answer, Derek had broken in:

Before Felix could respond, Derek interrupted:

“My uncle has come out of kindness. It's my affair, sir. The man has been tyrannously treated.”

“My uncle has come to help out of kindness. This is my concern, sir. The man has been treated unfairly.”

Mr. Pogram cocked his eye. “Yes, yes; no doubt, no doubt! He's not confessed, I understand?”

Mr. Pogram raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, yeah; no doubt about it! He hasn’t confessed, I take it?”

“No; but—”

“No, but—”

Mr. Pogram laid a finger on his lips.

Mr. Pogram put a finger to his lips.

“Never say die; that's what we're here for. So,” he went on, “you're a rebel; Socialist, perhaps. Dear me! Well, we're all of us something, nowadays—I'm a humanitarian myself. Often say to Mrs. Pogram—humanity's the thing in this age—and so it is! Well, now, what line shall we take?” And he rubbed his hands. “Shall we have a try at once to upset what evidence they've got? We should want a strong alibi. Our friends here will commit if they can—nobody likes arson. I understand he was sleeping in your cottage. His room, now? Was it on the ground floor?”

“Never give up; that's why we're here. So,” he continued, “you’re a rebel; maybe a Socialist. Goodness! Well, we all stand for something these days—I’m a humanitarian myself. I often tell Mrs. Pogram—humanity is key in this era—and it really is! So, what approach should we take?” And he rubbed his hands together. “Should we try to discredit the evidence they have right away? We’ll need a solid alibi. Our friends here will lie if they can—nobody likes arson. I hear he was sleeping in your cottage. His room, by the way? Was it on the ground floor?”

“Yes; but—”

“Yes, but—”

Mr. Pogram frowned, as who should say: Ah! Be careful! “He had better reserve his defence and give us time to turn round,” he said rather shortly.

Mr. Pogram frowned, as if to say: Ah! Be careful! “He should save his defense and give us time to figure things out,” he said a bit abruptly.

They had arrived at the police station and after a little parley were ushered into the presence of Tryst.

They had arrived at the police station, and after a brief discussion, they were shown into Tryst's office.

The big laborer was sitting on the stool in his cell, leaning back against the wall, his hands loose and open at his sides. His gaze passed at once from Felix and Mr. Pogram, who were in advance, to Derek; and the dumb soul seemed suddenly to look through, as one may see all there is of spirit in a dog reach out to its master. This was the first time Felix had seen him who had caused already so much anxiety, and that broad, almost brutal face, with the yearning fidelity in its tragic eyes, made a powerful impression on him. It was the sort of face one did not forget and might be glad of not remembering in dreams. What had put this yearning spirit into so gross a frame, destroying its solid coherence? Why could not Tryst have been left by nature just a beer-loving serf, devoid of grief for his dead wife, devoid of longing for the nearest he could get to her again, devoid of susceptibility to this young man's influence? And the thought of all that was before the mute creature, sitting there in heavy, hopeless patience, stung Felix's heart so that he could hardly bear to look him in the face.

The big laborer was sitting on the stool in his cell, leaning back against the wall, his hands relaxed and open at his sides. His gaze shifted from Felix and Mr. Pogram, who were in front, to Derek; and the silent man seemed suddenly to look through, as if all the spirit in a dog reached out to its owner. This was the first time Felix had seen the one who had already caused so much worry, and that broad, almost harsh face, with its tragic eyes full of longing, made a strong impression on him. It was the kind of face one doesn’t forget and might be relieved not to remember in dreams. What had given this yearning spirit to such a coarse body, breaking its solid coherence? Why couldn’t Tryst have been left by nature just a beer-loving peasant, without grief for his dead wife, without longing to be close to her again, without being affected by this young man’s influence? And the thought of everything that lay ahead for the mute man, sitting there in heavy, hopeless patience, hurt Felix’s heart so much that he could hardly bear to look him in the eye.

Derek had taken the man's thick, brown hand; Felix could see with what effort the boy was biting back his feelings.

Derek had taken the man's thick, brown hand; Felix could see how hard the boy was trying to hold back his feelings.

“This is Mr. Pogram, Bob. A solicitor who'll do all he can for you.”

“This is Mr. Pogram, Bob. A lawyer who will do everything he can for you.”

Felix looked at Mr. Pogram. The little man was standing with arms akimbo; his face the queerest mixture of shrewdness and compassion, and he was giving off an almost needlessly strong scent of gutta-percha.

Felix looked at Mr. Pogram. The small man was standing with his arms crossed; his face a strange mix of cleverness and kindness, and he was giving off an almost overpowering scent of gutta-percha.

“Yes, my man,” he said, “you and I are going to have a talk when these gentlemen have done with you,” and, turning on his heel, he began to touch up the points of his little pink nails with a penknife, in front of the constable who stood outside the cell door, with his professional air of giving a man a chance.

“Yes, buddy,” he said, “you and I are going to have a conversation when these guys are done with you,” and, turning on his heel, he started to trim the tips of his little pink nails with a penknife, right in front of the constable who stood outside the cell door, maintaining his professional demeanor of giving a guy a chance.

Invaded by a feeling, apt to come to him in Zoos, that he was watching a creature who had no chance to escape being watched, Felix also turned; but, though his eyes saw not, his ears could not help hearing.

Invaded by a feeling, likely to hit him in zoos, that he was watching a creature with no chance to escape being observed, Felix also turned; but, even though his eyes didn’t see, his ears couldn’t help but hear.

“Forgive me, Bob! It's I who got you into this!”

“I'm sorry, Bob! I'm the one who got you into this!”

“No, sir; naught to forgive. I'll soon be back, and then they'll see!”

“No, sir; nothing to forgive. I’ll be back soon, and then they’ll see!”

By the reddening of Mr. Pogram's ears Felix formed the opinion that the little man, also, could hear.

By the reddening of Mr. Pogram's ears, Felix concluded that the little man could also hear.

“Tell her not to fret, Mr. Derek. I'd like a shirt, in case I've got to stop. The children needn' know where I be; though I an't ashamed.”

“Tell her not to worry, Mr. Derek. I’d like a shirt, just in case I need to stop. The kids shouldn’t know where I am; though I’m not ashamed.”

“It may be a longer job than you think, Bob.”

“It might take longer than you think, Bob.”

In the silence that followed Felix could not help turning. The laborer's eyes were moving quickly round his cell, as if for the first time he realized that he was shut up; suddenly he brought those big hands of his together and clasped them between his knees, and again his gaze ran round the cell. Felix heard the clearing of a throat close by, and, more than ever conscious of the scent of gutta-percha, grasped its connection with compassion in the heart of Mr. Pogram. He caught Derek's muttered, “Don't ever think we're forgetting you, Bob,” and something that sounded like, “And don't ever say you did it.” Then, passing Felix and the little lawyer, the boy went out. His head was held high, but tears were running down his cheeks. Felix followed.

In the silence that followed, Felix couldn't help but turn. The laborer's eyes were quickly scanning his cell, as if for the first time he realized he was locked in. Suddenly, he brought his big hands together and clasped them between his knees, and again his gaze swept around the cell. Felix heard someone clear their throat nearby, and more aware than ever of the smell of gutta-percha, he recognized its connection with Mr. Pogram's compassion. He caught Derek muttering, “Don't ever think we're forgetting you, Bob,” and something that sounded like, “And don’t ever say you did it.” Then, passing by Felix and the little lawyer, the boy went out. His head was held high, but tears were streaming down his cheeks. Felix followed.

A bank of clouds, gray-white, was rising just above the red-tiled roofs, but the sun still shone brightly. And the thought of the big laborer sitting there knocked and knocked at Felix's heart mournfully, miserably. He had a warmer feeling for his young nephew than he had ever had. Mr. Pogram rejoined them soon, and they walked on together,

A bank of gray-white clouds was building up just above the red-tiled roofs, but the sun still shone brightly. The thought of the big laborer sitting there pounded at Felix's heart, filling him with sadness and misery. He felt a deeper affection for his young nephew than he ever had before. Mr. Pogram joined them again, and they continued walking together,

“Well?” said Felix.

"Well?" asked Felix.

Mr. Pogram answered in a somewhat grumpy voice:

Mr. Pogram responded in a slightly grumpy tone:

“Not guilty, and reserve defence. You have influence, young man! Dumb as a waiter. Poor devil!” And not another word did he say till they had re-entered his garden.

“Not guilty, and I'll save my defense for later. You have influence, young man! Dumber than a waiter. Poor guy!” And he didn’t say another word until they were back in his garden.

Here the ladies, surrounded by many little Pograms, were having tea. And seated next the little lawyer, whose eyes were fixed on Nedda, Felix was able to appreciate that in happier mood he exhaled almost exclusively the scent of lavender-water and cigars.

Here the women, surrounded by several small children, were having tea. And seated next to the little lawyer, whose eyes were focused on Nedda, Felix could tell that in a happier mood he smelled almost entirely like lavender water and cigars.





CHAPTER XXIII

On their way back to Becket, after the visit to Tryst, Felix and Nedda dropped Derek half-way on the road to Joyfields. They found that the Becket household already knew of the arrest. Woven into a dirge on the subject of 'the Land,' the last town doings, and adventures on golf courses, it formed the genial topic of the dinner-table; for the Bulgarian with his carbohydrates was already a wonder of the past. The Bigwigs of this week-end were quite a different lot from those of three weeks ago, and comparatively homogeneous, having only three different plans for settling the land question, none of which, fortunately, involved any more real disturbance of the existing state of things than the potato, brown-bread plan, for all were based on the belief held by the respectable press, and constructive portions of the community, that omelette can be made without breaking eggs. On one thing alone, the whole house party was agreed—the importance of the question. Indeed, a sincere conviction on this point was like the card one produces before one is admitted to certain functions. No one came to Becket without it; or, if he did, he begged, borrowed, or stole it the moment he smelled Clara's special pot-pourri in the hall; and, though he sometimes threw it out of the railway-carriage window in returning to town, there was nothing remarkable about that. The conversational debauch of the first night's dinner—and, alas! there were only two even at Becket during a week-end—had undoubtedly revealed the feeling, which had set in of late, that there was nothing really wrong with the condition of the agricultural laborer, the only trouble being that the unreasonable fellow did not stay on the land. It was believed that Henry Wiltram, in conjunction with Colonel Martlett, was on the point of promoting a policy for imposing penalties on those who attempted to leave it without good reason, such reason to be left to the discretion of impartial district boards, composed each of one laborer, one farmer, and one landowner, decision going by favor of majority. And though opinion was rather freely expressed that, since the voting would always be two to one against, this might trench on the liberty of the subject, many thought that the interests of the country were so much above this consideration that something of the sort would be found, after all, to be the best arrangement. The cruder early notions of resettling the land by fostering peasant proprietorship, with habitable houses and security of tenure, were already under a cloud, since it was more than suspected that they would interfere unduly with the game laws and other soundly vested interests. Mere penalization of those who (or whose fathers before them) had at great pains planted so much covert, enclosed so much common, and laid so much country down in grass was hardly a policy for statesmen. A section of the guests, and that perhaps strongest because most silent, distinctly favored this new departure of Henry Wiltram's. Coupled with his swinging corn tax, it was indubitably a stout platform.

On their way back to Becket after visiting Tryst, Felix and Nedda dropped Derek off halfway on the road to Joyfields. They found that the Becket household already knew about the arrest. Weaved into a somber discussion about 'the Land,' the latest events in town, and adventures on the golf courses, it became the friendly topic at the dinner table; the Bulgarian, with his carbohydrates, was already a thing of the past. The important guests for this weekend were quite different from those three weeks ago and fairly similar, having only three different plans for addressing the land issue, none of which, fortunately, involved any significant disruption of the current state of affairs beyond the potato and brown-bread plan. All were based on the belief held by the respectable press and constructive members of the community that an omelette can be made without breaking eggs. There was one thing the entire house party agreed on—the significance of the question. In fact, a genuine belief in this was like the card one shows before being admitted to certain events. No one came to Becket without it; or if they did, they begged, borrowed, or stole it the moment they caught a whiff of Clara's special potpourri in the hall. And even though they sometimes tossed it out of the train window while returning to town, that wasn't surprising. The lively conversation at the first night’s dinner—and, unfortunately, there were only two even at Becket during a weekend—had clearly revealed a sentiment that recently developed: there was nothing fundamentally wrong with the situation of agricultural laborers; the only issue was that these unreasonable people didn’t stay on the land. It was believed that Henry Wiltram, along with Colonel Martlett, was about to push a policy for penalizing those who tried to leave without a good reason, with that reason being left to the discretion of impartial district boards made up of one laborer, one farmer, and one landowner, with decisions based on majority rule. Although many freely expressed concerns that, since the voting would typically be two to one against, this might infringe on individual freedoms, a lot of people thought that the nation’s interests far outweighed this concern, so something like this would ultimately be seen as the best solution. The earlier, cruder ideas of resettling the land by encouraging peasant ownership, with livable homes and security of tenure, were already fading because it was widely suspected that they would disrupt the game laws and other firmly established interests. Simply penalizing those who (or whose parents) had invested so much effort in planting hedges, enclosing commons, and laying down pasture land wasn't really a statesman's approach. A section of the guests—perhaps the strongest group because they were the quietest—clearly supported this new direction from Henry Wiltram. Along with his sweeping corn tax, it was undoubtedly a strong platform.

A second section of the guests spoke openly in favor of Lord Settleham's policy of good-will. The whole thing, they thought, must be voluntary, and they did not see any reason why, if it were left to the kindness and good intentions of the landowner, there should be any land question at all. Boards would be formed in every county on which such model landowners as Sir Gerald Malloring, or Lord Settleham himself, would sit, to apply the principles of goodwill. Against this policy the only criticism was levelled by Felix. He could have agreed, he said, if he had not noticed that Lord Settleham, and nearly all landowners, were thoroughly satisfied with their existing good-will and averse to any changes in their education that might foster an increase of it. If—he asked—landowners were so full of good-will, and so satisfied that they could not be improved in that matter, why had they not already done what was now proposed, and settled the land question? He himself believed that the land question, like any other, was only capable of settlement through improvement in the spirit of all concerned, but he found it a little difficult to credit Lord Settleham and the rest of the landowners with sincerity in the matter so long as they were unconscious of any need for their own improvement. According to him, they wanted it both ways, and, so far as he could see, they meant to have it!

A second group of guests spoke openly in favor of Lord Settleham's good-will policy. They believed it should all be voluntary and didn’t see any reason why, if it depended on the kindness and good intentions of the landowner, there should be any land issue at all. Boards would be set up in every county, featuring model landowners like Sir Gerald Malloring or Lord Settleham himself, to implement the principles of good-will. The only criticism against this policy came from Felix. He said he could have agreed if he hadn’t noticed that Lord Settleham and almost all landowners were completely satisfied with their current good-will and resistant to any changes in their perspective that might increase it. If—he asked—landowners were so full of good-will and so content that they couldn’t be improved in that regard, why hadn’t they already done what was now suggested and resolved the land issue? He believed that the land question, like any other, could only be resolved through an improvement in the mindset of all involved, but he found it hard to believe that Lord Settleham and the other landowners were sincere in this matter as long as they were unaware of any need for their own improvement. In his view, they wanted it both ways, and, as far as he could see, they intended to get it!

His use of the word sincere, in connection with Lord Settleham, was at once pounced on. He could not know Lord Settleham—one of the most sincere of men. Felix freely admitted that he did not, and hastened to explain that he did not question the—er—parliamentary sincerity of Lord Settleham and his followers. He only ventured to doubt whether they realized the hold that human nature had on them. His experience, he said, of the houses where they had been bred, and the seminaries where they had been trained, had convinced him that there was still a conspiracy on foot to blind Lord Settleham and those others concerning all this; and, since they were themselves part of the conspiracy, there was very little danger of their unmasking it. At this juncture Felix was felt to have exceeded the limit of fair criticism, and only that toleration toward literary men of a certain reputation, in country houses, as persons brought there to say clever and irresponsible things, prevented people from taking him seriously.

His use of the word sincere when talking about Lord Settleham was immediately noticed. He couldn't possibly know Lord Settleham—one of the most genuine men around. Felix admitted that he didn't know him and quickly clarified that he didn’t question the—uh—political sincerity of Lord Settleham and his supporters. He just doubted whether they understood how much human nature influenced them. He shared that his experience with the places where they grew up and the schools where they were trained led him to believe that there was still a scheme to keep Lord Settleham and the others in the dark about this; and, since they were part of the scheme themselves, the chances of them exposing it were very slim. At this point, Felix was seen as having crossed the line of fair criticism, and only the tolerance given to well-known literary figures in country houses, known for making clever and irresponsible remarks, kept people from taking him seriously.

The third section of the guests, unquestionably more static than the others, confined themselves to pointing out that, though the land question was undoubtedly serious, nothing whatever would result from placing any further impositions upon landowners. For, after all, what was land? Simply capital invested in a certain way, and very poorly at that. And what was capital? Simply a means of causing wages to be paid. And whether they were paid to men who looked after birds and dogs, loaded your guns, beat your coverts, or drove you to the shoot, or paid to men who ploughed and fertilized the land, what did it matter? To dictate to a man to whom he was to pay wages was, in the last degree, un-English. Everybody knew the fate which had come, or was coming, upon capital. It was being driven out of the country by leaps and bounds—though, to be sure, it still perversely persisted in yielding every year a larger revenue by way of income tax. And it would be dastardly to take advantage of land just because it was the only sort of capital which could not fly the country in times of need. Stanley himself, though—as became a host—he spoke little and argued not at all, was distinctly of this faction; and Clara sometimes felt uneasy lest her efforts to focus at Becket all interest in the land question should not quite succeed in outweighing the passivity of her husband's attitude. But, knowing that it is bad policy to raise the whip too soon, she trusted to her genius to bring him 'with one run at the finish,' as they say, and was content to wait.

The third group of guests, definitely more reserved than the others, pointed out that even though the land issue was serious, adding more restrictions on landowners wouldn’t help at all. After all, what was land? Just capital invested in a specific way, and not very well at that. And what was capital? Just a way to pay wages. It didn’t matter whether those wages went to the guys who cared for birds and dogs, loaded your guns, beat your covers, or drove you to the shoot, or to the farmers who plowed and fertilized the land. Dictating to someone who they should pay wages to was, at its core, un-English. Everyone knew the fate that capital was facing. It was being pushed out of the country quickly—though it still stubbornly generated a bigger income tax revenue every year. It would be cowardly to exploit land just because it was the only kind of capital that couldn’t leave the country in times of crisis. Stanley himself, although he spoke little and didn't argue as a good host should, clearly belonged to this group; and Clara sometimes worried that her attempts to focus everyone at Becket on the land issue wouldn't quite manage to overcome her husband's passive stance. But understanding that it’s unwise to push too hard too early, she trusted her instincts to bring him around "with one run at the finish," as they say, and was willing to wait.

There was universal sympathy with the Mallorings. If a model landlord like Malloring had trouble with his people, who—who should be immune? Arson! It was the last word! Felix, who secretly shared Nedda's horror of the insensate cruelty of flames, listened, nevertheless, to the jubilation that they had caught the fellow, with profound disturbance. For the memory of the big laborer seated against the wall, his eyes haunting round his cell, quarrelled fiercely with his natural abhorrence of any kind of violence, and his equally natural dislike of what brought anxiety into his own life—and the life, almost as precious, of his little daughter. Scarcely a word of the evening's conversation but gave him in high degree the feeling: How glib all this is, how far from reality! How fatted up with shell after shell of comfort and security! What do these people know, what do they realize, of the pressure and beat of raw life that lies behind—what do even I, who have seen this prisoner, know? For us it's as simple as killing a rat that eats our corn, or a flea that sucks our blood. Arson! Destructive brute—lock him up! And something in Felix said: For order, for security, this may be necessary. But something also said: Our smug attitude is odious!

There was universal sympathy for the Mallorings. If a model landlord like Malloring had trouble with his tenants, who should be exempt? Arson! It was the final word! Felix, who secretly shared Nedda's horror of the senseless cruelty of flames, nevertheless listened to the excitement that they had caught the guy, feeling deeply unsettled. The memory of the big laborer sitting against the wall, his eyes hauntingly wandering around his cell, clashed violently with his natural aversion to any form of violence, and his equally natural dislike of anything that brought anxiety into his life—and the life, almost as precious, of his little daughter. Hardly a word in the evening's conversation didn’t give him a strong sense: How insincere all this is, how far from reality! How stuffed with layer after layer of comfort and security! What do these people know, what do they understand, of the pressure and struggle of raw life that lies behind—what do even I, who have seen this prisoner, know? For us, it seems as straightforward as killing a rat that eats our corn, or a flea that sucks our blood. Arson! Destructive brute—lock him up! And something in Felix said: For order, for security, this may be necessary. But something else also said: Our complacent attitude is disgusting!

He watched his little daughter closely, and several times marked the color rush up in her face, and once could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes. If the temper of this talk were trying to him, hardened at a hundred dinner-tables, what must it be to a young and ardent creature! And he was relieved to find, on getting to the drawing-room, that she had slipped behind the piano and was chatting quietly with her Uncle John....

He watched his little daughter closely, and several times noticed the color rise in her face, and once he could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes. If the tone of this conversation was challenging for him, someone who had toughened up at a hundred dinner tables, what must it be like for a young and passionate person! He felt relieved to find, when he got to the drawing-room, that she had slipped behind the piano and was chatting quietly with her Uncle John....

As to whether this or that man liked her, Nedda perhaps was not more ignorant than other women; and she had noted a certain warmth and twinkle in Uncle John's eyes the other evening, a certain rather jolly tendency to look at her when he should have been looking at the person to whom he was talking; so that she felt toward him a trustful kindliness not altogether unmingled with a sense that he was in that Office which controls the destinies of those who 'get into trouble.' The motives even of statesmen, they say, are mixed; how much more so, then, of girls in love! Tucked away behind a Steinway, which instinct told her was not for use, she looked up under her lashes at her uncle's still military figure and said softly:

As for whether this or that guy liked her, Nedda was probably no more clueless than other women; she had noticed a certain warmth and sparkle in Uncle John's eyes the other evening, along with a jolly tendency to look at her when he should have been focused on the person he was talking to. Because of that, she felt a trusting kind of affection towards him, mixed with the awareness that he was in that Office which controls the fates of those who "get into trouble." They say the motives of politicians are complicated; how much more so are those of girls in love! Hidden away behind a Steinway, which she instinctively knew wasn’t meant to be played, she glanced up under her lashes at her uncle's still military figure and said softly:

“It was awfully good of you to come, too, Uncle John.”

"It was really nice of you to come, Uncle John."

And John, gazing down at that round, dark head, and those slim, pretty, white shoulders, answered:

And John, looking down at that round, dark head, and those slim, pretty, white shoulders, replied:

“Not at all—very glad to get a breath of fresh air.”

“Not at all—really happy to get some fresh air.”

And he stealthily tightened his white waistcoat—a rite neglected of late; the garment seemed to him at the moment unnecessarily loose.

And he quietly adjusted his white waistcoat—a ritual he had overlooked lately; the garment felt a bit too loose to him at that moment.

“You have so much experience, Uncle. Do you think violent rebellion is ever justifiable?”

“You have so much experience, Uncle. Do you think violent rebellion is ever justified?”

“I do not.”

"I don't."

Nedda sighed. “I'm glad you think that,” she murmured, “because I don't think it is, either. I do so want you to like Derek, Uncle John, because—it's a secret from nearly every one—he and I are engaged.”

Nedda sighed. “I’m glad you think that,” she whispered, “because I don’t think so either. I really want you to like Derek, Uncle John, because—this is a secret from almost everyone—he and I are engaged.”

John jerked his head up a little, as though he had received a slight blow. The news was not palatable. He kept his form, however, and answered:

John suddenly lifted his head, as if he had been hit lightly. The news was hard to swallow. He maintained his composure and replied:

“Oh! Really! Ah!”

“Oh my gosh! Wow!”

Nedda said still more softly: “Please don't judge him by the other night; he wasn't very nice then, I know.”

Nedda said even more quietly, “Please don't judge him based on the other night; he wasn’t very nice then, I know.”

John cleared his throat.

John coughed.

Instinct warned her that he agreed, and she said rather sadly:

Instinct told her that he agreed, and she said somewhat sadly:

“You see, we're both awfully young. It must be splendid to have experience.”

"You see, we're both really young. It must be amazing to have experience."

Over John's face, with its double line between the brows, its double line in the thin cheeks, its single firm line of mouth beneath a gray moustache, there passed a little grimace.

Over John's face, with its furrow between the brows, its creases in the thin cheeks, and its straight, firm line of mouth beneath a gray mustache, a slight grimace crossed his features.

“As to being young,” he said, “that'll change for the—er—better only too fast.”

“As for being young,” he said, “that'll change for the—uh—better way too quickly.”

What was it in this girl that reminded him of that one with whom he had lived but two years, and mourned fifteen? Was it her youth? Was it that quick way of lifting her eyes, and looking at him with such clear directness? Or the way her hair grew? Or what?

What was it about this girl that reminded him of the one he had lived with for just two years and mourned for fifteen? Was it her youth? Was it the quick way she lifted her eyes and looked at him with such clarity? Or the way her hair fell? Or something else?

“Do you like the people here, Uncle John?”

“Do you like the people here, Uncle John?”

The question caught John, as it were, between wind and water. Indeed, all her queries seemed to be trying to incite him to those wide efforts of mind which bring into use the philosophic nerve; and it was long since he had generalized afresh about either things or people, having fallen for many years past into the habit of reaching his opinions down out of some pigeonhole or other. To generalize was a youthful practice that one took off as one takes certain garments off babies when they come to years of discretion. But since he seemed to be in for it, he answered rather shortly: “Not at all.”

The question caught John, so to speak, off guard. In fact, all her questions seemed to push him to think deeply, using that philosophical drive he hadn't tapped into in ages. He realized it had been a long time since he had formed fresh opinions about things or people. For many years now, he had just pulled his ideas out of some mental drawer. Generalizing was something you do when you’re younger, like taking off certain clothes from toddlers when they get older. But since he was already in the moment, he replied rather curtly, “Not at all.”

Nedda sighed again.

Nedda sighed once more.

“Nor do I. They make me ashamed of myself.”

“Me neither. They make me feel embarrassed about who I am.”

John, whose dislike of the Bigwigs was that of the dogged worker of this life for the dogged talkers, wrinkled his brows:

John, whose dislike of the Bigwigs was typical of a dedicated worker towards all the persistent talkers, frowned:

“How's that?”

"How's that going?"

“They make me feel as if I were part of something heavy sitting on something else, and all the time talking about how to make things lighter for the thing it's sitting on.”

“They make me feel like I'm part of something heavy resting on something else, always discussing how to make it lighter for whatever it's resting on.”

A vague recollection of somebody—some writer, a dangerous one—having said something of this sort flitted through John.

A hazy memory of someone—some writer, a risky one—having said something like this crossed John's mind.

“Do YOU think England is done for, Uncle—I mean about 'the Land'?”

“Do you think England is finished, Uncle—I mean about 'the Land'?”

In spite of his conviction that 'the country was in a bad way,' John was deeply, intimately shocked by that simple little question. Done for! Never! Whatever might be happening underneath, there must be no confession of that. No! the country would keep its form. The country would breathe through its nose, even if it did lose the race. It must never know, or let others know, even if it were beaten. And he said:

In spite of his belief that 'the country was in a bad way,' John was deeply, profoundly shaken by that simple little question. Finished! Never! No matter what might be going on below the surface, there could be no admission of that. No! The country would maintain its appearance. The country would keep it together, even if it lost the race. It must never acknowledge it, or let others see, even if it was defeated. And he said:

“What on earth put that into your head?”

“What on earth made you think that?”

“Only that it seems funny, if we're getting richer and richer, and yet all the time farther and farther away from the life that every one agrees is the best for health and happiness. Father put it into my head, making me look at the little, towny people in Transham this afternoon. I know I mean to begin at once to learn about farm work.”

“It's kind of strange that as we get richer and richer, we're moving further away from the life that everyone agrees is best for our health and happiness. My dad made me think about this when he had me look at the little town folks in Transham this afternoon. I definitely plan to start learning about farm work right away.”

“You?” This pretty young thing with the dark head and the pale, slim shoulders! Farm work! Women were certainly getting queer. In his department he had almost daily evidence of that!

“You?” This attractive young woman with dark hair and pale, slim shoulders! Farm work! Women were definitely acting strange. He saw proof of that almost every day in his line of work!

“I should have thought art was more in your line!”

"I would have thought art was more your thing!"

Nedda looked up at him; and he was touched by that look, so straight and young.

Nedda looked up at him, and he felt moved by that gaze, so direct and youthful.

“It's this. I don't believe Derek will be able to stay in England. When you feel very strongly about things it must be awfully difficult to.”

“It's this. I don't think Derek will be able to stay in England. When you feel really strongly about things, it must be incredibly difficult to.”

In bewilderment John answered:

In surprise, John replied:

“Why! I should have said this was the country of all others for movements, and social work, and—and—cranks—” he paused.

“Wow! I should have said this is the place above all for movements, social work, and—and—nutjobs—” he paused.

“Yes; but those are all for curing the skin, and I suppose we're really dying of heart disease, aren't we? Derek feels that, anyway, and, you see, he's not a bit wise, not even patient—so I expect he'll have to go. I mean to be ready, anyway.”

“Yes; but those are all for treating the skin, and I guess we're actually suffering from heart problems, right? Derek thinks so, at least, and, you see, he’s not at all wise, not even patient—so I assume he’ll have to leave. I plan to be prepared, regardless.”

And Nedda got up. “Only, if he does something rash, don't let them hurt him, Uncle John, if you can help it.”

And Nedda stood up. “Just promise me, if he does something reckless, don’t let them hurt him, Uncle John, if you can.”

John felt her soft fingers squeezing his almost desperately, as if her emotions had for the moment got out of hand. And he was moved, though he knew that the squeeze expressed feeling for his nephew, not for himself. When she slid away out of the big room all friendliness seemed to go out with her, and very soon after he himself slipped away to the smoking-room. There he was alone, and, lighting a cigar, because he still had on his long-tailed coat which did not go with that pipe he would so much have preferred, he stepped out of the French window into the warm, dark night. He walked slowly in his evening pumps up a thin path between columbines and peonies, late tulips, forget-me-nots, and pansies peering up in the dark with queer, monkey faces. He had a love for flowers, rather starved for a long time past, and, strangely, liked to see them, not in the set and orderly masses that should seemingly have gone with his character, but in wilder beds, where one never knew what flower was coming next. Once or twice he stopped and bent down, ascertaining which kind it was, living its little life down there, then passed on in that mood of stammering thought which besets men of middle age who walk at night—a mood caught between memory of aspirations spun and over, and vision of aspirations that refuse to take shape. Why should they, any more—what was the use? And turning down another path he came on something rather taller than himself, that glowed in the darkness as though a great moon, or some white round body, had floated to within a few feet of the earth. Approaching, he saw it for what it was—a little magnolia-tree in the full of its white blossoms. Those clustering flower-stars, printed before him on the dark coat of the night, produced in John more feeling than should have been caused by a mere magnolia-tree; and he smoked somewhat furiously. Beauty, seeking whom it should upset, seemed, like a girl, to stretch out arms and say: “I am here!” And with a pang at heart, and a long ash on his cigar, between lips that quivered oddly, John turned on his heel and retraced his footsteps to the smoking-room. It was still deserted. Taking up a Review, he opened it at an article on 'the Land,' and, fixing his eyes on the first page, did not read it, but thought: 'That child! What folly! Engaged! H'm! To that young—! Why, they're babes! And what is it about her that reminds me—reminds me—What is it? Lucky devil, Felix—to have her for daughter! Engaged! The little thing's got her troubles before her. Wish I had! By George, yes—wish I had!' And with careful fingers he brushed off the ash that had fallen on his lapel....

John felt her soft fingers squeezing his almost desperately, as if her emotions had momentarily gotten out of control. And he was touched, though he knew that the squeeze was about his nephew, not about him. When she slipped away from the big room, it felt like all warmth left with her, and soon after, he himself went to the smoking room. There, he was alone, and while lighting a cigar—since he still wore his long-tailed coat that didn’t go with the pipe he would have preferred—he stepped out through the French window into the warm, dark night. He walked slowly in his evening shoes along a narrow path between columbines and peonies, late tulips, forget-me-nots, and pansies peering up from the shadows with strange, monkey-like faces. He had a love for flowers that had been neglected for a long time, and, oddly, he preferred seeing them not in the neat and tidy arrangements that would seem to suit his character, but in wilder beds where he never knew what flower might come next. A couple of times, he stopped and bent down to see what kind it was, living its little life down there, before moving on in that familiar mood of hesitant thought that strikes middle-aged men walking at night—a mood caught between memories of dreams past and the vision of dreams that refuse to take form. Why should they, any more—what was the point? Turning down another path, he stumbled upon something taller than him, glowing in the darkness as if a large moon or some round white object had floated close to the earth. As he got closer, he saw it was a little magnolia tree in full bloom. Those clusters of flower-stars, laid out before him against the dark night, stirred in John more emotion than a mere magnolia tree should have; and he smoked somewhat angrily. Beauty, seeking to rattle him, seemed to stretch out its arms and say: “I am here!” And with a pang in his heart, and a long ash hanging from his cigar, lips quivering oddly, John turned on his heel and retraced his steps to the smoking room. It was still empty. Picking up a magazine, he opened it to an article on 'the Land,' and, focusing on the first page, didn’t read it, but thought: 'That kid! What nonsense! Engaged! Hm! To that young—! They’re just kids! What is it about her that reminds me—reminds me—What is it? Lucky guy, Felix—to have her as a daughter! Engaged! That little one’s got her troubles ahead. I wish I had troubles! By George, yes—wish I had!' And with careful fingers, he brushed off the ash that had fallen on his lapel...

The little thing who had her troubles before her, sitting in her bedroom window, had watched his white front and the glowing point of his cigar passing down there in the dark, and, though she did not know that they belonged to him, had thought: 'There's some one nice, anyway, who likes being out instead of in that stuffy drawing-room, playing bridge, and talking, talking.' Then she felt ashamed of her uncharitableness. After all, it was wrong to think of them like that. They did it for rest after all their hard work; and she—she did not work at all! If only Aunt Kirsteen would let her stay at Joyfields, and teach her all that Sheila knew! And lighting her candles, she opened her diary to write.

The young girl, who had her own struggles, sat at her bedroom window and watched his white front and the glowing tip of his cigar passing by in the dark. Although she didn’t realize they belonged to him, she thought, ‘At least there's someone nice who prefers being out rather than stuck in that stuffy living room, playing bridge and chatting endlessly.’ Then she felt guilty for her lack of compassion. After all, it was unfair to judge them like that. They were just looking for a break after all their hard work, and she—well, she didn’t work at all! If only Aunt Kirsteen would let her stay at Joyfields and teach her everything Sheila knew! With that thought, she lit her candles and opened her diary to write.

“Life,” she wrote, “is like looking at the night. One never knows what's coming, only suspects, as in the darkness you suspect which trees are what, and try to see whether you are coming to the edge of anything.... A moth has just flown into my candle before I could stop it! Has it gone quite out of the world? If so, why should it be different for us? The same great Something makes all life and death, all light and dark, all love and hate—then why one fate for one living thing, and the opposite for another? But suppose there IS nothing after death—would it make me say: 'I'd rather not live'? It would only make me delight more in life of every kind. Only human beings brood and are discontented, and trouble about future life. While Derek and I were sitting in that field this morning, a bumblebee flew to the bank and tucked its head into the grass and went to sleep, just tired out with flying and working at its flowers; it simply snoozed its head down and went off. We ought to live every minute to the utmost, and when we're tired out, tuck in our heads and sleep.... If only Derek is not brooding over that poor man! Poor man—all alone in the dark, with months of misery before him! Poor soul! Oh! I am sorry for all the unhappiness of people! I can't bear to think of it. I simply can't.” And dropping her pen, Nedda went again to her window and leaned out. So sweet the air smelled that it made her ache with delight to breathe it in. Each leaf that lived out there, each flower, each blade of grass, were sworn to conspiracy of perfume. And she thought: 'They MUST all love each other; it all goes together so beautifully!' Then, mingled with the incense of the night, she caught the savor of woodsmoke. It seemed to make the whole scent even more delicious, but she thought, bewildered: 'Smoke! Cruel fire—burning the wood that once grew leaves like those. Oh! it IS so mixed!' It was a thought others have had before her.

“Life,” she wrote, “is like looking out at the night. You never really know what's coming, only guess, like in the darkness when you try to figure out which trees are which and see if you're about to reach the edge of something.... A moth just flew into my candle before I could stop it! Is it gone forever? If that’s the case, why should it be different for us? The same great Something creates all life and death, all light and dark, all love and hate—so why does one living thing have one fate, and another the opposite? But what if there’s nothing after death—would that make me say: ‘I’d rather not live’? It would only make me appreciate every kind of life even more. Only humans dwell on things and are discontented, worrying about what happens after we die. While Derek and I were sitting in that field this morning, a bumblebee flew to the edge and buried its head in the grass, falling asleep, just worn out from flying and working on flowers; it simply nodded off. We should live every moment to the fullest, and when we’re exhausted, just tuck our heads down and sleep.... If only Derek isn’t worrying about that poor man! Poor guy—all alone in the dark, with months of pain ahead! Poor soul! Oh! I feel so sorry for all the pain people go through! I can’t stand to think about it. I really can’t.” And dropping her pen, Nedda went back to her window and leaned out. The air smelled so sweet it made her ache with joy to breathe it in. Every leaf out there, each flower, each blade of grass was part of a fragrant conspiracy. And she thought: 'They MUST all care for each other; everything fits together so beautifully!' Then, mixed with the scent of the night, she smelled woodsmoke. It seemed to make the whole aroma even tastier, but she thought, perplexed: 'Smoke! Cruel fire—burning the wood that once had leaves like those. Oh! it IS all so mixed!' It was a thought others have had before her.





CHAPTER XXIV

To see for himself how it fared with the big laborer at the hands of Preliminary Justice, Felix went into Transham with Stanley the following morning. John having departed early for town, the brothers had not further exchanged sentiments on the subject of what Stanley called 'the kick-up at Joyfields.' And just as night will sometimes disperse the brooding moods of nature, so it had brought to all three the feeling: 'Haven't we made too much of this? Haven't we been a little extravagant, and aren't we rather bored with the whole subject?' Arson was arson; a man in prison more or less was a man in prison more or less! This was especially Stanley's view, and he took the opportunity to say to Felix: “Look here, old man, the thing is, of course, to see it in proportion.”

To find out how the big laborer was doing with Preliminary Justice, Felix went into Transham with Stanley the next morning. Since John had left early for town, the brothers hadn’t discussed what Stanley called “the kick-up at Joyfields” any further. Just as night can sometimes lift the gloomy moods of nature, it had left all three of them feeling: “Have we made too much of this? Have we been a bit over the top, and aren’t we just kind of tired of the whole thing?” Arson was arson; a man in prison was a man in prison, whether it was more or less! This was especially how Stanley felt, and he took the chance to say to Felix: “Listen, old man, the thing is, of course, to see it in perspective.”

It was with this intention, therefore, that Felix entered the building where the justice of that neighborhood was customarily dispensed. It was a species of small hall, somewhat resembling a chapel, with distempered walls, a platform, and benches for the public, rather well filled that morning—testimony to the stir the little affair had made. Felix, familiar with the appearance of London police courts, noted the efforts that had been made to create resemblance to those models of administration. The justices of the peace, hastily convoked and four in number, sat on the platform, with a semicircular backing of high gray screens and a green baize barrier in front of them, so that their legs and feet were quite invisible. In this way had been preserved the really essential feature of all human justice—at whose feet it is well known one must not look! Their faces, on the contrary, were entirely exposed to view, and presented that pleasing variety of type and unanimity of expression peculiar to men keeping an open mind. Below them, with his face toward the public, was placed a gray-bearded man at a table also covered with green baize, that emblem of authority. And to the side, at right angles, raised into the air, sat a little terrier of a man, with gingery, wired hair, obviously the more articulate soul of these proceedings. As Felix sat down to worship, he noticed Mr. Pogram at the green baize table, and received from the little man a nod and the faintest whiff of lavender and gutta-percha. The next moment he caught sight of Derek and Sheila, screwed sideways against one of the distempered walls, looking, with their frowning faces, for all the world like two young devils just turned out of hell. They did not greet him, and Felix set to work to study the visages of Justice. They impressed him, on the whole, more favorably than he had expected. The one to his extreme left, with a gray-whiskered face, was like a large and sleepy cat of mature age, who moved not, except to write a word now and then on the paper before him, or to hand back a document. Next to him, a man of middle age with bald forehead and dark, intelligent eyes seemed conscious now and again of the body of the court, and Felix thought: 'You have not been a magistrate long.' The chairman, who sat next, with the moustache of a heavy dragoon and gray hair parted in the middle, seemed, on the other hand, oblivious of the public, never once looking at them, and speaking so that they could not hear him, and Felix thought: 'You have been a magistrate too long.' Between him and the terrier man, the last of the four wrote diligently, below a clean, red face with clipped white moustache and little peaked beard. And Felix thought: 'Retired naval!' Then he saw that they were bringing in Tryst. The big laborer advanced between two constables, his broad, unshaven face held high, and his lowering eyes, through which his strange and tragical soul seemed looking, turned this way and that. Felix, who, no more than any one else, could keep his gaze off the trapped creature, felt again all the sensations of the previous afternoon.

It was with this goal in mind that Felix walked into the building where local justice was typically served. It was a small hall, somewhat like a chapel, with faded walls, a platform, and benches for the audience, which were quite filled that morning—proof of the excitement the minor incident had caused. Familiar with the look of London police courts, Felix noticed the efforts made to mimic those models of justice. The four justices of the peace, quickly assembled, sat on the platform, backed by high gray screens and a green baize barrier in front of them, making their legs and feet completely hidden. In this way, they maintained the crucial aspect of all human justice—one must not look at the feet of the justices! Their faces, however, were fully visible and displayed a pleasant variety of features and a unity of expression typical of open-minded individuals. Below them, facing the public, was a gray-bearded man at a table also covered with green baize, a symbol of authority. To the side, at a right angle, sat a short man with wiry ginger hair, clearly the most vocal member of the proceedings. As Felix sat down to observe, he noticed Mr. Pogram at the green baize table, who gave him a nod and a faint scent of lavender and gutta-percha. In the next moment, he spotted Derek and Sheila, awkwardly positioned against one of the faded walls, looking like two young devils just released from hell. They didn’t acknowledge him, and Felix began to study the faces of justice. Overall, they impressed him more favorably than he had anticipated. The man all the way to his left, with a gray-whiskered face, resembled a large, sleepy older cat, only moving to jot down a word occasionally or to return a document. Next to him, a middle-aged man with a bald head and dark, intelligent eyes seemed occasionally aware of the courtroom, and Felix thought, 'You haven't been a magistrate for long.' The chairman, who sat next to him, with the mustache of a heavy dragoon and gray hair parted in the middle, appeared completely unaware of the public, never once glancing their way, speaking in a manner that they couldn’t hear him, and Felix thought, 'You've been a magistrate for too long.' Between him and the small man, the final justice was writing diligently beneath a clean, red face, complemented by a clipped white mustache and a small pointed beard. Felix thought, 'Retired naval officer!' Then he noticed they were bringing in Tryst. The large laborer walked in between two police officers, his broad, unshaven face held high, and his brooding eyes, through which his strange and tragic soul seemed to be looking, scanned the room. Felix, like everyone else, found it impossible to look away from the cornered figure, feeling all the emotions of the previous afternoon wash over him again.

“Guilty? or, Not guilty?” As if repeating something learned by heart, Tryst answered: “Not guilty, sir.” And his big hands, at his sides, kept clenching and unclenching. The witnesses, four in number, began now to give their testimony. A sergeant of police recounted how he had been first summoned to the scene of burning, and afterward arrested Tryst; Sir Gerald's agent described the eviction and threats uttered by the evicted man; two persons, a stone-breaker and a tramp, narrated that they had seen him going in the direction of the rick and barn at five o'clock, and coming away therefrom at five-fifteen. Punctuated by the barking of the terrier clerk, all this took time, during which there passed through Felix many thoughts. Here was a man who had done a wicked, because an antisocial, act; the sort of act no sane person could defend; an act so barbarous, stupid, and unnatural that the very beasts of the field would turn noses away from it! How was it, then, that he himself could not feel incensed? Was it that in habitually delving into the motives of men's actions he had lost the power of dissociating what a man did from what he was; had come to see him, with his thoughts, deeds, and omissions, as a coherent growth? And he looked at Tryst. The big laborer was staring with all his soul at Derek. And, suddenly, he saw his nephew stand up—tilt his dark head back against the wall—and open his mouth to speak. In sheer alarm Felix touched Mr. Pogram on the arm. The little square man had already turned; he looked at that moment extremely like a frog.

“Guilty? Or not guilty?” As if reciting something he had memorized, Tryst answered, “Not guilty, sir.” His large hands, resting at his sides, kept clenching and unclenching. The four witnesses began to give their testimonies. A police sergeant recounted how he was first called to the scene of the fire and later arrested Tryst; Sir Gerald's agent described the eviction and the threats from the evicted man; two people, a stone-breaker and a tramp, stated that they had seen him heading toward the rick and barn at five o'clock and coming back at five-fifteen. Amidst the barking of the terrier clerk, this took a while, during which many thoughts crossed Felix's mind. Here was a man who had committed a wicked, antisocial act; the kind of act no sane person could defend; something so barbaric, foolish, and unnatural that even the animals in the field would turn away from it! So why couldn’t he feel angry? Had he, by constantly examining the motives behind people's actions, lost the ability to separate what a person did from who they were; come to see him, with his thoughts, deeds, and inactions, as one cohesive being? He looked at Tryst. The big laborer was staring intently at Derek. Suddenly, he saw his nephew stand up—tilt his dark head back against the wall—and open his mouth to speak. In sheer alarm, Felix touched Mr. Pogram on the arm. The small, stocky man had already turned; at that moment, he looked just like a frog.

“Gentlemen, I wish to say—”

"Guys, I want to say—"

“Who are you? Sit down!” It was the chairman, speaking for the first time in a voice that could be heard.

“Who are you? Take a seat!” It was the chairman, speaking for the first time in a voice that everyone could hear.

“I wish to say that he is not responsible. I—”

“I want to say that he isn’t responsible. I—”

“Silence! Silence, sir! Sit down!”

"Quiet! Quiet, sir! Sit down!"

Felix saw his nephew waver, and Sheila pulling at his sleeve; then, to his infinite relief, the boy sat down. His sallow face was red; his thin lips compressed to a white line. And slowly under the eyes of the whole court he grew deadly pale.

Felix saw his nephew hesitate, with Sheila tugging at his sleeve; then, to his immense relief, the boy sat down. His pale face turned red; his thin lips pressed together into a white line. And slowly, under the gaze of the entire courtroom, he became deathly pale.

Distracted by fear that the boy might make another scene, Felix followed the proceedings vaguely. They were over soon enough: Tryst committed, defence reserved, bail refused—all as Mr. Pogram had predicted.

Distracted by the fear that the boy might cause another scene, Felix followed the proceedings with little focus. They ended quickly: Tryst committed, defense reserved, bail denied—all just as Mr. Pogram had predicted.

Derek and Sheila had vanished, and in the street outside, idle at this hour of a working-day, were only the cars of the four magistrates; two or three little knots of those who had been in court, talking of the case; and in the very centre of the street, an old, dark-whiskered man, lame, and leaning on a stick.

Derek and Sheila had disappeared, and outside on the street, quiet at this hour of a workday, there were only the cars of the four magistrates; a few small groups of people who had been in court, discussing the case; and right in the middle of the street, an old man with dark whiskers, limping and leaning on a stick.

“Very nearly being awkward,” said the voice of Mr. Pogram in his ear. “I say, do you think—no hand himself, surely no real hand himself?”

“Almost being awkward,” Mr. Pogram's voice said in his ear. “I mean, do you think—definitely not his real hand, right?”

Felix shook his head violently. If the thought had once or twice occurred to him, he repudiated it with all his force when shaped by another's mouth—and such a mouth, so wide and rubbery!

Felix shook his head fiercely. If the thought had crossed his mind once or twice, he rejected it with all his strength when it came from someone else's lips—and what lips they were, so wide and rubbery!

“No, no! Strange boy! Extravagant sense of honour—too sensitive, that's all!”

“No, no! Odd kid! Over-the-top sense of honor—just too sensitive, that's all!”

“Quite so,” murmured Mr. Pogram soothingly. “These young people! We live in a queer age, Mr. Freeland. All sorts of ideas about, nowadays. Young men like that—better in the army—safe in the army. No ideas there!”

“Exactly,” Mr. Pogram said gently. “These young people! We live in a strange time, Mr. Freeland. There are all kinds of ideas floating around nowadays. Young men like him—better off in the army—safe in the army. No ideas there!”

“What happens now?” said Felix.

“What’s next?” said Felix.

“Wait!” said Mr. Pogram. “Nothing else for it—wait. Three months—twiddle his thumbs. Bad system! Rotten!”

“Wait!” said Mr. Pogram. “There’s no other option—just wait. Three months—twiddle his thumbs. Terrible system! Awful!”

“And suppose in the end he's proved innocent?”

“And what if he ends up being proven innocent?”

Mr. Pogram shook his little round head, whose ears were very red.

Mr. Pogram shook his small round head, with very red ears.

“Ah!” he said: “Often say to my wife: 'Wish I weren't a humanitarian!' Heart of india-rubber—excellent thing—the greatest blessing. Well, good-morning! Anything you want to say at any time, let me know!” And exhaling an overpowering whiff of gutta-percha, he grasped Felix's hand and passed into a house on the door of which was printed in brazen letters: “Edward Pogram, James Collet. Solicitors. Agents.”

“Ah!” he said. “I often tell my wife, 'I wish I weren't a humanitarian!' A heart like India rubber—such a great thing—the biggest blessing. Well, good morning! If there's anything you want to say at any time, just let me know!” And after exhaling a strong smell of gutta-percha, he grabbed Felix's hand and walked into a house with a sign on the door that read in bold letters: “Edward Pogram, James Collet. Solicitors. Agents.”

On leaving the little humanitarian, Felix drifted back toward the court. The cars were gone, the groups dispersed; alone, leaning on his stick, the old, dark-whiskered man stood like a jackdaw with a broken wing. Yearning, at that moment, for human intercourse, Felix went up to him.

On leaving the small humanitarian, Felix wandered back toward the courtyard. The cars had left, and the groups had broken up; alone, leaning on his cane, the old man with dark whiskers stood like a jackdaw with a broken wing. Longing for human connection in that moment, Felix approached him.

“Fine day,” he said.

“Nice day,” he said.

“Yes, sir, 'tis fine enough.” And they stood silent, side by side. The gulf fixed by class and habit between soul and human soul yawned before Felix as it had never before. Stirred and troubled, he longed to open his heart to this old, ragged, dark-eyed, whiskered creature with the game leg, who looked as if he had passed through all the thorns and thickets of hard and primitive existence; he longed that the old fellow should lay bare to him his heart. And for the life of him he could not think of any mortal words which might bridge the unreal gulf between them. At last he said:

“Yes, sir, it’s good enough.” And they stood quietly, side by side. The gap created by class and habit between soul and human soul opened up before Felix like never before. Stirred and troubled, he wanted to share his feelings with this old, worn, dark-eyed, whiskered man with a limp, who seemed to have gone through all the hardships and struggles of a tough life; he wished the old man would reveal his heart to him. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think of the right words to bridge the imaginary gap between them. Finally, he said:

“You a native here?”

"Are you a local here?"

“No, sir. From over Malvern way. Livin' here with my darter, owin' to my leg. Her 'usband works in this here factory.”

“No, sir. I’m from the Malvern area. I live here with my daughter because of my leg. Her husband works at this factory.”

“And I'm from London,” Felix said.

“And I'm from London,” Felix said.

“Thart you were. Fine place, London, they say!”

“That's where you were. Great place, London, they say!”

Felix shook his head. “Not so fine as this Worcestershire of yours.”

Felix shook his head. “Not as good as this Worcestershire of yours.”

The old man turned his quick, dark gaze. “Aye!” he said, “people'll be a bit nervy-like in towns, nowadays. The country be a good place for a healthy man, too; I don't want no better place than the country—never could abide bein' shut in.”

The old man shifted his sharp, dark stare. “Yeah!” he said, “people are a bit on edge in towns these days. The country is a great place for a healthy man; I wouldn't want anything better than the countryside—I can never stand being cooped up.”

“There aren't so very many like you, judging by the towns.”

“There aren’t many people like you, based on what I’ve seen in the towns.”

The old man smiled—that smile was the reverse of a bitter tonic coated with sweet stuff to make it palatable.

The old man smiled—that smile was the opposite of a harsh medicine coated with sweetness to make it easy to swallow.

“'Tes the want of a life takes 'em,” he said. “There's not a many like me. There's not so many as can't do without the smell of the earth. With these 'ere newspapers—'tesn't taught nowadays. The boys and gells they goes to school, and 'tes all in favor of the towns there. I can't work no more; I'm 's good as gone meself; but I feel sometimes I'll 'ave to go back. I don't like the streets, an' I guess 'tes worse in London.”

“It's the lack of a life that gets to them,” he said. “There aren't many like me. Not many who can go without the smell of the earth. With these newspapers—it's not taught anymore. The boys and girls go to school, and it's all about the towns now. I can’t work anymore; I’m as good as gone myself; but sometimes I feel like I’ll have to go back. I don’t like the streets, and I guess it’s worse in London.”

“Ah! Perhaps,” Felix said, “there are more of us like you than you think.”

“Ah! Maybe,” Felix said, “there are more people like you than you realize.”

Again the old man turned his dark, quick glance.

Again the old man shot a quick, dark glance.

“Well, an' I widden say no to that, neither. I've seen 'em terrible homesick. 'Tes certain sure there's lots would never go, ef 'twasn't so mortial hard on the land. 'Tisn't a bare livin', after that. An' they're put upon, right and left they're put upon. 'Tes only a man here and there that 'as something in 'im too strong. I widden never 'ave stayed in the country ef 'twasn't that I couldn't stand the town life. 'Tes like some breeds o' cattle—you take an' put 'em out o' their own country, an' you 'ave to take an' put 'em back again. Only some breeds, though. Others they don' mind where they go. Well, I've seen the country pass in my time, as you might say; where you used to see three men you only see one now.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say no to that either. I've seen them really homesick. It’s definitely true that many would never leave if it weren't so incredibly hard on the land. It's not just a bare existence after that. And they’re pushed around, they’re pushed around from all sides. It’s just a few people here and there who have something really strong inside them. I would never have stayed in the country if it hadn't been for the fact that I couldn't stand city life. It’s like certain breeds of cattle—you take them out of their own environment, and you have to put them back again. Only some breeds though. Others don’t care where they end up. Well, I’ve seen the countryside change in my time, as you might say; where you used to see three men, you only see one now.”

“Are they ever going back onto the land?”

“Will they ever go back to the land?”

“They tark about it. I read my newspaper reg'lar. In some places I see they're makin' unions. That an't no good.”

“They talk about it. I read my newspaper regularly. In some places, I see they're making unions. That isn’t any good.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

The old man smiled again.

The elderly man smiled again.

“Why! Think of it! The land's different to anythin' else—that's why! Different work, different hours, four men's work to-day and one's to-morrow. Work land wi' unions, same as they've got in this 'ere factory, wi' their eight hours an' their do this an' don' do that? No! You've got no weather in factories, an' such-like. On the land 'tes a matter o' weather. On the land a man must be ready for anythin' at any time; you can't work it no other way. 'Tes along o' God's comin' into it; an' no use pullin' this way an' that. Union says to me: You mustn't work after hours. Hoh! I've 'ad to set up all night wi' ship an' cattle hundreds o' times, an' no extra for it. 'Tes not that way they'll do any good to keep people on the land. Oh, no!”

“Why! Just think about it! The land is unlike anything else—that's the point! Different tasks, different hours, four men working today and one tomorrow. Work the land with unions, like they do in this factory, with their eight-hour shifts and all their rules? No! You don't deal with weather in factories and things like that. On the land, it's all about the weather. A man has to be ready for anything at any time; you can't approach it any other way. It's because God is part of it; and there's no point trying to pull it this way and that. The union tells me: You can't work after hours. Ha! I've had to stay up all night with the ship and cattle hundreds of times, and no extra pay for it. They won't do any good by keeping people on the land that way. Oh, no!”

“How, then?”

“How so?”

“Well, you'll want new laws, o' course, to prevent farmers an' landowners takin' their advantage; you want laws to build new cottages; but mainly 'tes a case of hands together; can't be no other—the land's so ticklish. If 'tesn't hands together, 'tes nothing. I 'ad a master once that was never content so long's we wasn't content. That farm was better worked than any in the parish.”

“Well, you’ll want new laws, of course, to keep farmers and landowners from taking advantage; you need laws to build new cottages; but mainly it’s about working together; it can’t be any other way—the land is too sensitive. If it’s not working together, it’s nothing. I had a boss once who was never satisfied as long as we weren’t satisfied. That farm was better run than any in the area.”

“Yes, but the difficulty is to get masters that can see the other side; a man doesn't care much to look at home.”

“Yes, but the challenge is finding leaders who can see the other perspective; a person doesn't really care to look at their own situation.”

The old man's dark eyes twinkled.

The old man's dark eyes sparkled.

“No; an' when 'e does, 'tes generally to say: 'Lord, an't I right, an' an't they wrong, just?' That's powerful customary!”

“No; and when he does, it’s usually to say: 'Lord, am I not right, and aren’t they wrong, just?' That’s pretty common!”

“It is,” said Felix; “God bless us all!”

“It is,” said Felix; “God bless us all!”

“Ah! You may well say that, sir; an' we want it, too. A bit more wages wouldn't come amiss, neither. An' a bit more freedom; 'tes a man's liberty 'e prizes as well as money.”

“Ah! You can definitely say that, sir; and we want it, too. A little more pay wouldn’t hurt either. And a little more freedom; it’s a man’s liberty he values just as much as money.”

“Did you hear about this arson case?”

“Did you hear about this arson case?”

The old man cast a glance this way and that before he answered in a lower voice:

The old man looked around before he replied in a quiet voice:

“They say 'e was put out of his cottage. I've seen men put out for votin' Liberal; I've seen 'em put out for free-thinkin'; all sorts o' things I seen em put out for. 'Tes that makes the bad blood. A man wants to call 'is soul 'is own, when all's said an' done. An' 'e can't, not in th' old country, unless 'e's got the dibs.”

“They say he got kicked out of his cottage. I've seen guys get kicked out for voting Liberal; I've seen them get kicked out for being free thinkers; all sorts of reasons I've seen them get thrown out. That's what creates the bad blood. A man wants to call his soul his own, when it’s all said and done. And he can’t, not in the old country, unless he’s got the cash.”

“And yet you never thought of emigrating?”

“And yet you never thought about leaving the country?”

“Thart of it—ah! thart of it hundreds o' times; but some'ow cudden never bring mysel' to the scratch o' not seein' th' Beacon any more. I can just see it from 'ere, you know. But there's not so many like me, an' gettin' fewer every day.”

“That's it—ah! I've thought about it hundreds of times; but somehow I could never bring myself to stop seeing the Beacon. I can still see it from here, you know. But there aren’t many people like me, and there are fewer every day.”

“Yes,” murmured Felix, “that I believe.”

“Yes,” whispered Felix, “I believe that.”

“'Tes a 'and-made piece o' goods—the land! You has to be fond of it, same as of your missis and yer chillen. These poor pitiful fellows that's workin' in this factory, makin' these here Colonial ploughs—union's all right for them—'tes all mechanical; but a man on the land, 'e's got to put the land first, whether 'tes his own or some one else's, or he'll never do no good; might as well go for a postman, any day. I'm keepin' of you, though, with my tattle!”

“It's a handmade piece of goods—the land! You have to be attached to it, just like you are to your wife and your kids. These poor guys working in this factory, making these Colonial plows—having a union is fine for them—it’s all mechanical; but a man on the land, he has to prioritize the land, whether it's his own or someone else's, or he'll never succeed; he might as well become a postman any day. I'm keeping you, though, with my chatter!”

In truth, Felix had looked at the old man, for the accursed question had begun to worry him: Ought he or not to give the lame old fellow something? Would it hurt his feelings? Why could he not say simply: 'Friend, I'm better off than you; help me not to feel so unfairly favored'? Perhaps he might risk it. And, diving into his trousers pockets, he watched the old man's eyes. If they followed his hand, he would risk it. But they did not. Withdrawing his hand, he said:

In reality, Felix had watched the old man, as the nagging question started to trouble him: Should he give the struggling old guy something or not? Would it hurt his feelings? Why couldn’t he just say, “Friend, I have more than you; help me not to feel so lucky”? Maybe it was worth a try. So, digging into his pants pockets, he kept an eye on the old man’s gaze. If the old man's eyes followed his hand, he would go for it. But they didn’t. Pulling his hand back, he said:

“Have a cigar?”

"Want a cigar?"

The old fellow's dark face twinkled.

The old guy's dark face sparkled.

“I don' know,” he said, “as I ever smoked one; but I can have a darned old try!”

“I don’t know,” he said, “if I’ve ever smoked one; but I can definitely give it a shot!”

“Take the lot,” said Felix, and shuffled into the other's pocket the contents of his cigar-case. “If you get through one, you'll want the rest. They're pretty good.”

“Take the lot,” said Felix, shoving the contents of his cigar case into the other person’s pocket. “If you get through one, you’ll want the rest. They’re pretty good.”

“Ah!” said the old man. “Shuldn' wonder, neither.”

“Ah!” said the old man. “Shouldn't be surprised, either.”

“Good-by. I hope your leg will soon be better.”

“Goodbye. I hope your leg feels better soon.”

“Thank 'ee, sir. Good-by, thank 'ee!”

“Thank you, sir. Goodbye, thank you!”

Looking back from the turning, Felix saw him still standing there in the middle of the empty street.

Looking back from the corner, Felix saw him still standing there in the middle of the empty street.

Having undertaken to meet his mother, who was returning this afternoon to Becket, he had still two hours to put away, and passing Mr. Pogram's house, he turned into a path across a clover-field and sat down on a stile. He had many thoughts, sitting at the foot of this little town—which his great-grandfather had brought about. And chiefly he thought of the old man he had been talking to, sent there, as it seemed to him, by Providence, to afford a prototype for his 'The Last of the Laborers.' Wonderful that the old fellow should talk of loving 'the Land,' whereon he must have toiled for sixty years or so, at a number of shillings per week, that would certainly not buy the cigars he had shovelled into that ragged pocket. Wonderful! And yet, a marvellous sweet thing, when all was said—this land! Changing its sheen and texture, the feel of its air, its very scent, from day to day. This land with myriad offspring of flowers and flying folk; the majestic and untiring march of seasons: Spring and its wistful ecstasy of saplings, and its yearning, wild, wind-loosened heart; gleam and song, blossom and cloud, and the swift white rain; each upturned leaf so little and so glad to flutter; each wood and field so full of peeping things! Summer! Ah! Summer, when on the solemn old trees the long days shone and lingered, and the glory of the meadows and the murmur of life and the scent of flowers bewildered tranquillity, till surcharge of warmth and beauty brooded into dark passion, and broke! And Autumn, in mellow haze down on the fields and woods; smears of gold already on the beeches, smears of crimson on the rowans, the apple-trees still burdened, and a flax-blue sky well-nigh merging with the misty air; the cattle browsing in the lingering golden stillness; not a breath to fan the blue smoke of the weed-fires—and in the fields no one moving—who would disturb such mellow peace? And Winter! The long spaces, the long dark; and yet—and yet, what delicate loveliness of twig tracery; what blur of rose and brown and purple caught in the bare boughs and in the early sunset sky! What sharp dark flights of birds in the gray-white firmament! Who cared what season held in its arms this land that had bred them all!

Having decided to meet his mother, who was coming back this afternoon to Becket, he still had two hours to kill. As he passed Mr. Pogram's house, he took a path across a clover field and sat down on a stile. He had many thoughts while sitting at the base of this little town, which his great-grandfather had helped create. Mostly, he found himself thinking about the old man he had just talked to, who seemed sent by Providence to serve as a model for his 'The Last of the Laborers.' It was amazing that the old guy talked about loving 'the Land,' where he must have labored for about sixty years, earning a few shillings a week, which surely wouldn’t even cover the cigars stuffed in his tattered pocket. Amazing! And yet, a beautifully sweet thing, when all was said and done—this land! It changed its shine and texture, the feel of the air, and its very scent, day by day. This land, filled with countless flowers and flying creatures; the grand and tireless march of the seasons: Spring with its longing ecstasy of new growth, and its wild, wind-swept heart; glimmer and song, blossom and cloud, and the quick white rain; each upturned leaf so tiny and so happy to flutter; each wood and field so full of curious life! Summer! Ah! Summer, when the long days lit up and lingered on the grand old trees, and the beauty of the meadows along with the hum of life and the scent of flowers overwhelmed tranquility, until the overabundance of warmth and beauty turned into dark passion, and broke! And Autumn, with its soft haze settling over the fields and woods; splashes of gold already on the beeches, blots of crimson on the rowans, the apple trees still heavy with fruit, and a flax-blue sky almost blending with the misty air; the cattle grazing in the lingering golden calm; not a breath to stir the blue smoke from the bonfires—and in the fields, no one moving—who would disrupt such calm peace? And Winter! The long stretches, the long darkness; yet—and yet, what delicate beauty in the pattern of branches; what smudges of rose and brown and purple caught in the bare limbs and in the early sunset sky! What sharp dark flights of birds against the gray-white sky! Who cared what season embraced this land that had nurtured them all!

Not wonderful that into the veins of those who nursed it, tending, watching its perpetual fertility, should be distilled a love so deep and subtle that they could not bear to leave it, to abandon its hills, and greenness, and bird-songs, and all the impress of their forefathers throughout the ages.

Not surprising that those who cared for it, nurturing and observing its endless growth, would have a love so profound and delicate that they couldn't bear to leave it, to forsake its hills, its greenery, its birdsong, and all the legacy of their ancestors through the ages.

Like so many of his fellows—cultured moderns, alien to the larger forms of patriotism, that rich liquor brewed of maps and figures, commercial profit, and high-cockalorum, which served so perfectly to swell smaller heads—Felix had a love of his native land resembling love for a woman, a kind of sensuous chivalry, a passion based on her charm, on her tranquillity, on the power she had to draw him into her embrace, to make him feel that he had come from her, from her alone, and into her alone was going back. And this green parcel of his native land, from which the half of his blood came, and that the dearest half, had a potency over his spirit that he might well be ashamed of in days when the true Briton was a town-bred creature with a foot of fancy in all four corners of the globe. There was ever to him a special flavor about the elm-girt fields, the flowery coppices, of this country of the old Moretons, a special fascination in its full, white-clouded skies, its grass-edged roads, its pied and creamy cattle, and the blue-green loom of the Malvern hills. If God walked anywhere for him, it was surely here. Sentiment! Without sentiment, without that love, each for his own corner, 'the Land' was lost indeed! Not if all Becket blew trumpets till kingdom came, would 'the Land' be reformed, if they lost sight of that! To fortify men in love for their motherland, to see that insecurity, grinding poverty, interference, petty tyranny, could no longer undermine that love—this was to be, surely must be, done! Monotony? Was that cry true? What work now performed by humble men was less monotonous than work on the land? What work was even a tenth part so varied? Never quite the same from day to day: Now weeding, now hay, now roots, now hedging; now corn, with sowing, reaping, threshing, stacking, thatching; the care of beasts, and their companionship; sheep-dipping, shearing, wood-gathering, apple-picking, cider-making; fashioning and tarring gates; whitewashing walls; carting; trenching—never, never two days quite the same! Monotony! The poor devils in factories, in shops, in mines; poor devils driving 'busses, punching tickets, cleaning roads; baking; cooking; sewing; typing! Stokers; machine-tenders; brick-layers; dockers; clerks! Ah! that great company from towns might well cry out: Monotony! True, they got their holidays; true, they had more social life—a point that might well be raised at Becket: Holidays and social life for men on the soil! But—and suddenly Felix thought of the long, long holiday that was before the laborer Tryst. 'Twiddle his thumbs'—in the words of the little humanitarian—twiddle his thumbs in a space twelve feet by seven! No sky to see, no grass to smell, no beast to bear him company; no anything—for, what resources in himself had this poor creature? No anything, but to sit with tragic eyes fixed on the wall before him for eighty days and eighty nights, before they tried him. And then—not till then—would his punishment for that moment's blind revenge for grievous wrong begin! What on this earth of God's was more disproportioned, and wickedly extravagant, more crassly stupid, than the arrangements of his most perfect creature, man? What a devil was man, who could yet rise to such sublime heights of love and heroism! What a ferocious brute, the most ferocious and cold-blooded brute that lived! Of all creatures most to be stampeded by fear into a callous torturer! 'Fear'—thought Felix—'fear! Not momentary panic, such as makes our brother animals do foolish things; conscious, calculating fear, paralyzing the reason of our minds and the generosity of our hearts. A detestable thing Tryst has done, a hateful act; but his punishment will be twentyfold as hateful!'

Like many of his peers—sophisticated moderns, disconnected from the deeper aspects of patriotism, that rich mixture of maps and data, financial gain, and pompous pride that served so well to inflate smaller egos—Felix felt a love for his homeland similar to a love for a woman, a kind of sensual gallantry, a passion rooted in her beauty, her calmness, and her ability to pull him into her embrace, making him feel that he came from her, from her alone, and was returning to her alone. This green piece of his homeland, which nourished half of his blood, and the better half at that, had a power over his spirit that he might feel embarrassed about in a time when the true Briton was a city-dwelling individual with a foot in all corners of the globe. To him, there was always a unique charm about the elm-surrounded fields, the flowering thickets, of this country of the old Moretons, an irresistible allure in its wide, cloud-filled skies, its grass-lined roads, its spotted and creamy cattle, and the blue-green backdrop of the Malvern hills. If God walked anywhere for him, it was definitely here. Sentiment! Without sentiment, without that love for each of their own piece of land, 'the Land' was truly lost! No amount of trumpet blowing from Becket would reform 'the Land' if that sentiment was lost! To strengthen men’s love for their homeland, to ensure that insecurity, grinding poverty, interference, and petty tyranny could no longer weaken that love—this was something that needed to happen, and it must happen! Monotony? Was that complaint accurate? What work done by ordinary people was less monotonous than working the land? What work was even a fraction as diverse? Never quite the same from day to day: now weeding, now hay, now roots, now hedging; now corn, with sowing, harvesting, threshing, stacking, thatching; caring for animals and enjoying their company; sheep-dipping, shearing, gathering firewood, apple-picking, making cider; building and painting gates; whitewashing walls; hauling; digging—never, never were two days quite the same! Monotony! The poor souls in factories, in shops, in mines; the unfortunate ones driving buses, checking tickets, cleaning roads; baking; cooking; sewing; typing! Stokers; machine operators; bricklayers; dock workers; clerks! Ah! that large group from towns might indeed cry out: Monotony! Sure, they got their vacations; sure, they had more social life—a valid point that could be made at Becket: Vacations and social life for those working the land! But—and suddenly Felix thought of the long, long holiday ahead for the laborer Tryst. 'Twiddle his thumbs'—as the little humanitarian put it—twiddle his thumbs in a space twelve feet by seven! No sky to see, no grass to smell, no animal to keep him company; nothing at all—because, what resources did this poor soul have within himself? Nothing, except to sit with tragic eyes fixed on the wall in front of him for eighty days and eighty nights before they tried him. And then—not until then—would his punishment for that instant of blind revenge for a serious wrong begin! What on this earth of God's was more disproportionate and wickedly extravagant, more crassly foolish, than the arrangements for his most perfect creation, man? What a devil was man, who could also rise to such sublime heights of love and heroism! What a ferocious brute, the most savage and cold-blooded creature that existed! Of all beings, the most likely to be spurred by fear into becoming a cruel torturer! 'Fear'—thought Felix—'fear! Not the fleeting panic that makes our animal brothers act foolishly; conscious, calculated fear, paralyzing our reasoning and the kindness in our hearts. A detestable thing Tryst has done, a hateful act; but his punishment will be twenty times as hateful!'

And, unable to sit and think of it, Felix rose and walked on through the fields....

And, unable to sit and think about it, Felix got up and walked on through the fields....





CHAPTER XXV

He was duly at Transham station in time for the London train, and, after a minute consecrated to looking in the wrong direction, he saw his mother already on the platform with her bag, an air-cushion, and a beautifully neat roll.

He was properly at Transham station in time for the London train, and after a minute spent looking the wrong way, he saw his mother already on the platform with her bag, an air-cushion, and a perfectly neat roll.

'Travelling third!' he thought. 'Why will she do these things?'

'Traveling third!' he thought. 'Why is she doing these things?'

Slightly flushed, she kissed Felix with an air of abstraction.

Slightly blushing, she kissed Felix with a distant look.

“How good of you to meet me, darling!”

“How nice of you to meet me, sweetheart!”

Felix pointed in silence to the crowded carriage from which she had emerged. Frances Freeland looked a little rueful. “It would have been delightful,” she said. “There was a dear baby there and, of course, I couldn't have the window down, so it WAS rather hot.”

Felix silently pointed to the packed train carriage she had just come from. Frances Freeland looked a bit regretful. “It would have been lovely,” she said. “There was an adorable baby in there and, of course, I couldn’t have the window open, so it was quite warm.”

Felix, who could just see the dear baby, said dryly:

Felix, who could just see the sweet baby, said flatly:

“So that's how you go about, is it? Have you had any lunch?”

“So that's how you do it, huh? Have you eaten lunch yet?”

Frances Freeland put her hand under his arm. “Now, don't fuss, darling! Here's sixpence for the porter. There's only one trunk—it's got a violet label. Do you know them? They're so useful. You see them at once. I must get you some.”

Frances Freeland placed her hand under his arm. “Now, don’t worry, darling! Here’s sixpence for the porter. There's only one trunk—it has a violet label. Do you know it? They're super helpful. You spot them right away. I need to get you some.”

“Let me take those things. You won't want this cushion. I'll let the air out.”

“Let me grab those things. You won't need this cushion. I’ll deflate it.”

“I'm afraid you won't be able, dear. It's quite the best screw I've ever come across—a splendid thing; I can't get it undone.”

“I'm afraid you won't be able to, dear. It's definitely the best screw I've ever encountered—a fantastic thing; I can't get it undone.”

“Ah!” said Felix. “And now we may as well go out to the car!”

“Ah!” said Felix. “And now we might as well head out to the car!”

He was conscious of a slight stoppage in his mother's footsteps and rather a convulsive squeeze of her hand on his arm. Looking at her face, he discovered it occupied with a process whose secret he could not penetrate, a kind of disarray of her features, rapidly and severely checked, and capped with a resolute smile. They had already reached the station exit, where Stanley's car was snorting. Frances Freeland looked at it, then, mounting rather hastily, sat, compressing her lips.

He sensed a slight pause in his mother's steps and felt a strong squeeze of her hand on his arm. When he looked at her face, he saw it was focused on something he couldn't understand, her features in a kind of turmoil, quickly brought under control, topped off with a determined smile. They had already reached the station exit, where Stanley's car was rumbling. Frances Freeland looked at it, then got in quickly, pressing her lips together.

When they were off, Felix said:

When they left, Felix said:

“Would you like to stop at the church and have a look at the brasses to your grandfather and the rest of them?”

“Do you want to stop by the church and check out the memorials for your grandfather and the others?”

His mother, who had slipped her hand under his arm again, answered:

His mom, who had slipped her hand under his arm again, replied:

“No, dear; I've seen them. The church is not at all beautiful. I like the old church at Becket so much better; it is such a pity your great-grandfather was not buried there.”

“No, dear; I've seen them. The church isn't beautiful at all. I like the old church at Becket so much more; it's such a shame your great-grandfather wasn't buried there.”

She had never quite got over the lack of 'niceness' about those ploughs.

She had never really gotten over the lack of 'niceness' about those plows.

Going, as was the habit of Stanley's car, at considerable speed, Felix was not at first certain whether the peculiar little squeezes his arm was getting were due to the bounds of the creature under them or to some cause more closely connected with his mother, and it was not till they shaved a cart at the turning of the Becket drive that it suddenly dawned on him that she was in terror. He discovered it in looking round just as she drew her smile over a spasm of her face and throat. And, leaning out of the car, he said:

Going at a pretty fast pace, like usual in Stanley's car, Felix wasn't sure at first if the strange little squeezes on his arm were from the creature beneath them or something related to his mom. It wasn't until they narrowly missed a cart at the turn of Becket drive that it hit him that she was scared. He realized it when he looked back just as she forced a smile over a twitch in her face and throat. Leaning out of the car, he said:

“Drive very slowly, Batter; I want to look at the trees.”

“Drive really slowly, Batter; I want to check out the trees.”

A little sigh rewarded him. Since SHE had said nothing, He said nothing, and Clara's words in the hall seemed to him singularly tactless:

A small sigh came from her. Since SHE hadn’t said anything, he didn’t say anything either, and Clara’s words in the hallway felt particularly thoughtless to him:

“Oh! I meant to have reminded you, Felix, to send the car back and take a fly. I thought you knew that Mother's terrified of motors.” And at his mother's answer:

“Oh! I meant to remind you, Felix, to send the car back and take a flight. I thought you knew that Mom’s scared of engines.” And at his mother's response:

“Oh! no; I quite enjoyed it, dear,” he thought: 'Bless her heart! She IS a stoic!'

“Oh! no; I really enjoyed it, dear,” he thought: 'Bless her heart! She IS tough!'

Whether or no to tell her of the 'kick-up at Joyfields' exercised his mind. The question was intricate, for she had not yet been informed that Nedda and Derek were engaged, and Felix did not feel at liberty to forestall the young people. That was their business. On the other hand, she would certainly glean from Clara a garbled understanding of the recent events at Joyfields, if she were not first told of them by himself. And he decided to tell her, with the natural trepidation of one who, living among principles and theories, never quite knew what those, for whom each fact is unrelated to anything else under the moon, were going to think. Frances Freeland, he knew well, kept facts and theories especially unrelated, or, rather, modified her facts to suit her theories, instead of, like Felix, her theories to suit her facts. For example, her instinctive admiration for Church and State, her instinctive theory that they rested on gentility and people who were nice, was never for a moment shaken when she saw a half-starved baby of the slums. Her heart would impel her to pity and feed the poor little baby if she could, but to correlate the creature with millions of other such babies, and those millions with the Church and State, would not occur to her. And if Felix made an attempt to correlate them for her she would look at him and think: 'Dear boy! How good he is! I do wish he wouldn't let that line come in his forehead; it does so spoil it!' And she would say: “Yes, darling, I know, it's very sad; only I'm NOT clever.” And, if a Liberal government chanced to be in power, would add: “Of course, I do think this Government is dreadful. I MUST show you a sermon of the dear Bishop of Walham. I cut it out of the 'Daily Mystery.' He puts things so well—he always has such nice ideas.”

Whether or not to tell her about the ‘incident at Joyfields’ occupied his thoughts. The issue was complicated because she hadn't yet been told that Nedda and Derek were engaged, and Felix didn’t feel it was his place to jump ahead of them. That was their issue. On the other hand, she would definitely get a twisted version of what happened at Joyfields from Clara unless he broke the news first. So he decided to tell her, feeling the natural anxiety of someone who, living among principles and theories, never fully understood how those who saw every fact in isolation would react. Frances Freeland, he knew well, kept facts and theories especially separate, or rather, she adjusted her facts to fit her theories, instead of, like Felix, reshaping her theories to match her facts. For instance, her instinctive admiration for Church and State, along with her belief that they relied on decency and nice people, was never shaken even when she saw a half-starved baby from the slums. Her heart would urge her to feel pity and help the poor little baby if she could, but she would never connect that child to the millions of other such babies or those millions to the Church and State. And if Felix tried to make that connection for her, she would look at him and think: ‘Dear boy! How kind he is! I wish he wouldn’t let that line form on his forehead; it really ruins it!’ She would then say: “Yes, darling, I know, it’s so sad; I’m just NOT clever.” And if a Liberal government happened to be in power, she’d add: “Of course, I think this Government is awful. I MUST show you a sermon by the dear Bishop of Walham. I cut it out of the ‘Daily Mystery.’ He expresses things so well—he always has such nice ideas.”

And Felix, getting up, would walk a little and sit down again too suddenly. Then, as if entreating him to look over her want of 'cleverness,' she would put out a hand that, for all its whiteness, had never been idle and smooth his forehead. It had sometimes touched him horribly to see with what despair she made attempts to follow him in his correlating efforts, and with what relief she heard him cease enough to let her say: “Yes, dear; only, I must show you this new kind of expanding cork. It's simply splendid. It bottles up everything!” And after staring at her just a moment he would acquit her of irony. Very often after these occasions he had thought, and sometimes said: “Mother, you're the best Conservative I ever met.” She would glance at him then, with a special loving doubtfulness, at a loss as to whether or no he had designed to compliment her.

And Felix would get up, walk a bit, and sit down again too quickly. Then, as if asking him to overlook her lack of 'smartness,' she would reach out a hand that, despite being so pale, had never been still and smooth his forehead. It sometimes disturbed him to see how desperately she tried to keep up with his complex thoughts, and how relieved she felt when he paused enough for her to say, “Yes, dear; but I really need to show you this new type of expanding cork. It's just amazing. It seals up everything!” After staring at her for a moment, he would realize she wasn’t being sarcastic. Often after these moments, he would think—and sometimes say—“Mom, you're the best Conservative I’ve ever known.” She would look at him then, with a unique, sweet uncertainty, unsure if he was actually complimenting her.

When he had given her half an hour to rest he made his way to the blue corridor, where a certain room was always kept for her, who never occupied it long enough at a time to get tired of it. She was lying on a sofa in a loose gray cashmere gown. The windows were open, and the light breeze just moved in the folds of the chintz curtains and stirred perfume from a bowl of pinks—her favorite flowers. There was no bed in this bedroom, which in all respects differed from any other in Clara's house, as though the spirit of another age and temper had marched in and dispossessed the owner. Felix had a sensation that one was by no means all body here. On the contrary. There was not a trace of the body anywhere; as if some one had decided that the body was not quite nice. No bed, no wash-stand, no chest of drawers, no wardrobe, no mirror, not even a jar of Clara's special pot-pourri. And Felix said:

When he had given her half an hour to rest, he headed to the blue corridor, where a specific room was always reserved for her, who never stayed long enough at a time to get tired of it. She was lying on a sofa in a loose gray cashmere gown. The windows were open, and a light breeze gently moved the folds of the chintz curtains and stirred the fragrance from a bowl of pinks—her favorite flowers. This bedroom was unlike any other in Clara's house, as though the spirit of a different era had come in and taken over the space. Felix sensed that there was more to this room than just the physical. On the contrary, there was no sign of the body anywhere; it felt as if someone had decided that the body wasn’t quite appropriate here. No bed, no washstand, no chest of drawers, no wardrobe, no mirror—not even a jar of Clara's special potpourri. And Felix said:

“This can't be your bedroom, Mother?”

“This can't be your bedroom, Mom?”

Frances Freeland answered, with a touch of deprecating quizzicality:

Frances Freeland replied, with a hint of self-deprecating curiosity:

“Oh yes, darling. I must show you my arrangements.” And she rose. “This,” she said, “you see, goes under there, and that under here; and that again goes under this. Then they all go under that, and then I pull this. It's lovely.”

“Oh yes, honey. I have to show you my setup.” And she got up. “This,” she said, “you see, goes under there, and that goes under here; and that one goes under this. Then they all go under that, and then I pull this. It's wonderful.”

“But why?” said Felix.

“But why?” Felix asked.

“Oh! but don't you see? It's so nice; nobody can tell. And it doesn't give any trouble.”

“Oh! But don’t you see? It’s so nice; no one can tell. And it doesn’t cause any trouble.”

“And when you go to bed?”

“And when do you go to bed?”

“Oh! I just pop my clothes into this and open that. And there I am. It's simply splendid.”

“Oh! I just throw my clothes in here and open that. And there I am. It's just wonderful.”

“I see,” said Felix. “Do you think I might sit down, or shall I go through?”

“I get it,” said Felix. “Do you think I can sit down, or should I keep going?”

Frances Freeland loved him with her eyes, and said:

Frances Freeland looked at him with love in her eyes and said:

“Naughty boy!”

"Bad boy!"

And Felix sat down on what appeared to be a window-seat.

And Felix sat down on what looked like a window seat.

“Well,” he said, with slight uneasiness, for she was hovering, “I think you're wonderful.”

“Well,” he said, a bit nervous since she was nearby, “I think you’re amazing.”

Frances Freeland put away an impeachment that she evidently felt to be too soft.

Frances Freeland dismissed an impeachment that she clearly thought was too lenient.

“Oh! but it's all so simple, darling.” And Felix saw that she had something in her hand, and mind.

“Oh! but it's all so simple, darling.” And Felix noticed that she had something in her hand and on her mind.

“This is my little electric brush. It'll do wonders with your hair. While you sit there, I'll just try it.”

“This is my little electric brush. It’ll work wonders on your hair. While you sit there, I’ll just give it a try.”

A clicking and a whirring had begun to occur close to his ear, and something darted like a gadfly at his scalp.

A clicking and whirring started happening near his ear, and something buzzed at his scalp like a gadfly.

“I came to tell you something serious, Mother.”

“I came to tell you something important, Mom.”

“Yes, darling; it'll be simply lovely to hear it; and you mustn't mind this, because it really is a first-rate thing—quite new.”

“Yes, darling; it’ll be simply wonderful to hear it; and you shouldn’t worry about this, because it really is top-notch—totally new.”

Now, how is it, thought Felix, that any one who loves the new as she does, when it's made of matter, will not even look at it when it's made of mind? And, while the little machine buzzed about his head, he proceeded to detail to her the facts of the state of things that existed at Joyfields.

Now, Felix wondered how someone who loves the new as much as she does, when it's physical, can totally ignore it when it's mental. And, as the little machine buzzed around his head, he continued to explain the situation at Joyfields to her.

When he had finished, she said:

When he was done, she said:

“Now, darling, bend down a little.”

“Now, sweetie, lean down a bit.”

Felix bent down. And the little machine began severely tweaking the hairs on the nape of his neck. He sat up again rather suddenly.

Felix leaned down. The little machine started pulling at the hairs on the back of his neck. He sat up again pretty quickly.

Frances Freeland was contemplating the little machine.

Frances Freeland was thinking about the small machine.

“How very provoking! It's never done that before!”

“How frustrating! It's never done that before!”

“Quite so!” Felix murmured. “But about Joyfields?”

“Exactly!” Felix murmured. “But what about Joyfields?”

“Oh, my dear, it IS such a pity they don't get on with those Mallorings! I do think it sad they weren't brought up to go to church.”

“Oh, my dear, it's such a shame they don’t get along with those Mallorings! I really think it’s sad they weren’t raised to go to church.”

Felix stared, not knowing whether to be glad or sorry that his recital had not roused within her the faintest suspicion of disaster. How he envied her that single-minded power of not seeing further than was absolutely needful! And suddenly he thought: 'She really is wonderful! With her love of church, how it must hurt her that we none of us go, not even John! And yet she never says a word. There really is width about her; a power of accepting the inevitable. Never was woman more determined to make the best of a bad job. It's a great quality!' And he heard her say:

Felix stared, unsure whether to feel relieved or regretful that his performance hadn’t raised even the slightest concern in her. He envied her ability to focus solely on what was necessary! Then, it hit him: 'She really is amazing! With her love for the church, it must sting that none of us go, not even John! And still, she never complains. She’s truly broad-minded; she has a real ability to accept what can’t be changed. No one is more determined to make the best out of a tough situation. It’s a valuable trait!' And he heard her say:

“Now, darling, if I give you this, you must promise me to use it every morning. You'll find you'll soon have a splendid crop of little young hairs.”

“Now, sweetheart, if I give you this, you have to promise me that you'll use it every morning. You'll see that you'll soon have a great growth of little hairs.”

“I know,” he said gloomily; “but they won't come to anything. Age has got my head, Mother, just as it's got 'the Land's.'”

“I know,” he said gloomily; “but they won't lead to anything. Age has taken over my mind, Mother, just like it has with 'the Land's.'”

“Oh, nonsense! You must go on with it, that's all!”

“Oh, that's ridiculous! You have to keep going with it, that's all!”

Felix turned so that he could look at her. She was moving round the room now, meticulously adjusting the framed photographs of her family that were the only decoration of the walls. How formal, chiselled, and delicate her face, yet how almost fanatically decisive! How frail and light her figure, yet how indomitably active! And the memory assailed him of how, four years ago, she had defeated double pneumonia without having a doctor, simply by lying on her back. 'She leaves trouble,' he thought, 'until it's under her nose, then simply tells it that it isn't there. There's something very English about that.'

Felix turned to look at her. She was now moving around the room, carefully adjusting the framed photos of her family that were the only decorations on the walls. How formal, sculpted, and delicate her face was, yet how almost fanatically decisive! How frail and slight her figure, yet how determinedly active! He recalled how, four years ago, she had beaten double pneumonia without a doctor, just by lying on her back. 'She ignores problems,' he thought, 'until they're right in front of her, then just tells them they don't exist. There's something very English about that.'

She was chasing a bluebottle now with a little fan made of wire, and, coming close to Felix, said:

She was chasing a bluebottle now with a small wire fan, and, coming close to Felix, said:

“Have you seen these, darling? You've only to hit the fly and it kills him at once.”

“Have you seen these, babe? You just have to hit the fly, and it takes him out immediately.”

“But do you ever hit the fly?”

“But do you ever catch the fly?”

“Oh, yes!” And she waved the fan at the bluebottle, which avoided it without seeming difficulty.

“Oh, yes!” she said, waving the fan at the bluebottle, which effortlessly dodged it.

“I can't bear hurting them, but I DON'T like flies. There!”

“I can't stand hurting them, but I DON'T like flies. There!”

The bluebottle flew out of the window behind Felix and in at the one that was not behind him. He rose.

The bluebottle flew out of the window behind Felix and into the one that wasn’t behind him. He got up.

“You ought to rest before tea, Mother.”

“You should rest before tea, Mom.”

He felt her searching him with her eyes, as if trying desperately to find something she might bestow upon or do for him.

He felt her looking at him intently, as if she were trying hard to find something she could give or do for him.

“Would you like this wire—”

“Do you want this wire—”

With a feeling that he was defrauding love, he turned and fled. She would never rest while he was there! And yet there was that in her face which made him feel a brute to go.

With the feeling that he was betraying love, he turned and ran away. She would never be at peace as long as he was there! And yet there was something in her expression that made him feel like a monster for leaving.

Passing out of the house, sunk in its Monday hush, no vestige of a Bigwig left, Felix came to that new-walled mound where the old house of the Moretons had been burned 'by soldiers from Tewkesbury and Gloucester,' as said the old chronicles dear to the heart of Clara. And on the wall he sat him down. Above, in the uncut grass, he could see the burning blue of a peacock's breast, where the heraldic bird stood digesting grain in the repose of perfect breeding, and below him gardeners were busy with the gooseberries. 'Gardeners and the gooseberries of the great!' he thought. 'Such is the future of our Land.' And he watched them. How methodically they went to work! How patient and well-done-for they looked! After all, was it not the ideal future? Gardeners, gooseberries, and the great! Each of the three content in that station of life into which—! What more could a country want? Gardeners, gooseberries, and the great! The phrase had a certain hypnotic value. Why trouble? Why fuss? Gardeners, gooseberries, and the great! A perfect land! A land dedicate to the week-end! Gardeners, goose—! And suddenly he saw that he was not alone. Half hidden by the angle of the wall, on a stone of the foundations, carefully preserved and nearly embedded in the nettles which Clara had allowed to grow because they added age to the appearance, was sitting a Bigwig. One of the Settleham faction, he had impressed Felix alike by his reticence, the steady sincerity of his gray eyes, a countenance that, beneath a simple and delicate urbanity, had still in it something of the best type of schoolboy. 'How comes he to have stayed?' he mused. 'I thought they always fed and scattered!' And having received an answer to his salutation, he moved across and said:

Stepping out of the house, wrapped in its Monday silence, with no sign of a Bigwig left, Felix arrived at the newly constructed mound where the old Moreton house had been burned "by soldiers from Tewkesbury and Gloucester," as the old history books that Clara cherished noted. He sat down on the wall. Above him, in the wild grass, he spotted the vivid blue of a peacock's chest, the majestic bird casually digesting grain in its perfectly bred calm, while below, gardeners were busy with the gooseberries. "Gardeners and the gooseberries of the elite!" he thought. "This is the future of our country." He watched them. How systematically they worked! How patient and well-cared-for they seemed! Wasn't this the ideal future? Gardeners, gooseberries, and the elite! Each of the three content in their place in life—what more could a country desire? Gardeners, gooseberries, and the elite! The phrase had a certain hypnotic charm. Why worry? Why stress? Gardeners, gooseberries, and the elite! A perfect land! A land dedicated to the weekend! Gardeners, goose—! Suddenly he realized he wasn’t alone. Partly hidden by the wall's angle, on a foundational stone almost buried in the nettles Clara had let grow for a touch of age, was a Bigwig. One of the Settleham crowd, he had impressed Felix with his quietness, the genuine sincerity of his gray eyes, and a face that, beneath a simple and refined demeanor, still held a hint of the best kind of schoolboy. "How did he end up staying?" Felix wondered. "I thought they always got fed and left!" After receiving a reply to his greeting, he moved over and said:

“I imagined you'd gone.”

"I thought you were gone."

“I've been having a look round. It's very jolly here. My affections are in the North, but I suppose this is pretty well the heart of England.”

“I've been taking a look around. It's really nice here. My heart belongs to the North, but I guess this is pretty much the center of England.”

“Near 'the big song,'” Felix answered. “There'll never be anything more English than Shakespeare, when all's said and done.” And he took a steady, sidelong squint at his companion. 'This is another of the types I've been looking for,' he reflected. The peculiar 'don't-quite-touch-me' accent of the aristocrat—and of those who would be—had almost left this particular one, as though he secretly aspired to rise superior and only employed it in the nervousness of his first greetings. 'Yes,' thought Felix, 'he's just about the very best we can do among those who sit upon 'the Land.' I would wager there's not a better landlord nor a better fellow in all his class, than this one. He's chalks away superior to Malloring, if I know anything of faces—would never have turned poor Tryst out. If this exception were the rule! And yet—! Does he, can he, go quite far enough to meet the case? If not—what hope of regeneration from above? Would he give up his shooting? Could he give up feeling he's a leader? Would he give up his town house and collecting whatever it is he collects? Could he let himself sink down and merge till he was just unseen leaven of good-fellowship and good-will, working in the common bread?' And squinting at that sincere, clean, charming, almost fine face, he answered himself unwillingly: 'He could not!' And suddenly he knew that he was face to face with the tremendous question which soon or late confronts all thinkers. Sitting beside him—was the highest product of the present system! With its charm, humanity, courage, chivalry up to a point, its culture, and its cleanliness, this decidedly rare flower at the end of a tall stalk, with dark and tortuous roots and rank foliage, was in a sense the sole justification of power wielded from above. And was it good enough? Was it quite good enough? Like so many other thinkers, Felix hesitated to reply. If only merit and the goods of this world could be finally divorced! If the reward of virtue were just men's love and an unconscious self-respect! If only 'to have nothing' were the highest honour! And yet, to do away with this beside him and put in its place—What? No kiss-me-quick change had a chance of producing anything better. To scrap the long growth of man and start afresh was but to say: 'Since in the past the best that man has done has not been good enough, I have a perfect faith in him for the future!' No! That was a creed for archangels and other extremists. Safer to work on what we had! And he began:

“Near 'the big song,'” Felix replied. “There'll never be anything more English than Shakespeare, when it all comes down to it.” He cast a steady, sidelong glance at his companion. 'This is another type I've been searching for,' he thought. The distinct 'don't-quite-touch-me' tone of the aristocrat—and those who wish to be—had almost faded from this particular person, as if he secretly wanted to rise above it and only used it out of nervousness in their initial greetings. 'Yes,' Felix considered, 'he's probably the best we can find among those who own 'the Land.' I bet there's not a better landlord or a better guy in his class than this one. He's way better than Malloring, if I know anything about faces—would never have kicked poor Tryst out. If this exception were the rule! And yet—! Does he, can he, go far enough to really make a difference? If not—what hope is there for regeneration from above? Would he give up his shooting? Could he give up feeling like a leader? Would he let go of his town house and whatever he collects? Could he allow himself to sink down and blend in until he was just an unseen force of good fellowship and goodwill, working in the common good?' And squinting at that sincere, clean, charming, almost refined face, he reluctantly answered himself: 'He could not!' And suddenly he realized that he was staring at the enormous question that sooner or later faces all thinkers. Sitting beside him was the highest product of the current system! With its charm, humanity, courage, chivalry to a point, its culture, and its cleanliness, this distinctly rare flower at the end of a tall stalk, with dark and twisted roots and lush foliage, was in a sense the only justification for power coming from above. And was it good enough? Was it truly good enough? Like many other thinkers, Felix hesitated to respond. If only merit and the rewards of this world could finally be separated! If the reward for virtue were just the love of good men and an unconscious self-respect! If only 'to have nothing' were the highest honor! And yet, to get rid of this person beside him and replace them with—what? No quick change could produce anything better. To scrap the long evolution of humanity and start fresh was just to say: 'Since in the past the best humanity has done hasn't been good enough, I have complete faith in it for the future!' No! That was a belief for archangels and other extremists. It was safer to work with what we had! And he began:

“Next door to this estate I'm told there's ten thousand acres almost entirely grass and covert, owned by Lord Baltimore, who lives in Norfolk, London, Cannes, and anywhere else that the whim takes him. He comes down here twice a year to shoot. The case is extremely common. Surely it spells paralysis. If land is to be owned at all in such great lumps, owners ought at least to live on the lumps, and to pass very high examinations as practical farmers. They ought to be the life and soul, the radiating sun, of their little universes; or else they ought to be cleared out. How expect keen farming to start from such an example? It really looks to me as if the game laws would have to go.” And he redoubled his scrutiny of the Bigwig's face. A little furrow in its brow had deepened visibly, but nodding, he said:

“Next door to this estate, I hear there's ten thousand acres mostly covered in grass and woods, owned by Lord Baltimore, who lives in Norfolk, London, Cannes, and wherever else he feels like. He comes down here twice a year to hunt. This situation is pretty common. It definitely indicates stagnation. If land has to be owned in such large chunks, owners should at least live on those lands and pass rigorous tests as practical farmers. They should be the heart and soul, the shining light, of their little worlds; otherwise, they should be removed. How can we expect enthusiastic farming to come from such examples? It honestly seems to me that the game laws need to be abolished.” He then intensified his examination of the Bigwig's face. A small line on his forehead had noticeably deepened, but nodding, he said:

“The absentee landlord is a curse, of course. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a one myself. And I'm bound to say—though I'm keen on shooting—if the game laws were abolished, it might do a lot.”

“The absentee landlord is a real problem, of course. I'm afraid I'm a little bit of one myself. And I have to say—though I'm really into shooting—if the game laws were scrapped, it could change a lot.”

“YOU wouldn't move in that direction, I suppose?”

“Would you consider moving in that direction?”

The Bigwig smiled—charming, rather whimsical, that smile.

The Bigwig smiled—a charming, somewhat whimsical smile.

“Honestly, I'm not up to it. The spirit, you know, but the flesh—! My line is housing and wages, of course.”

“Honestly, I'm not feeling it. The spirit is willing, you know, but the body—! My focus is on housing and wages, of course.”

'There it is,' thought Felix. 'Up to a point, they'll move—not up to THE point. It's all fiddling. One won't give up his shooting; another won't give up his power; a third won't give up her week-ends; a fourth won't give up his freedom. Our interest in the thing is all lackadaisical, a kind of bun-fight of pet notions. There's no real steam.' And abruptly changing the subject, he talked of pictures to the pleasant Bigwig in the sleepy afternoon. Of how this man could paint, and that man couldn't. And in the uncut grass the peacock slowly moved, displaying his breast of burning blue; and below, the gardeners worked among the gooseberries.

'There it is,' thought Felix. 'Up to a point, they'll make changes—not to the actual limit. It's all just fiddling. One person won't give up his shooting; another won't give up his power; a third won't give up her weekends; a fourth won't give up his freedom. Our interest in the whole thing is all pretty casual, like a get-together of personal ideas. There's no real drive.' And suddenly shifting the topic, he talked about art to the nice Bigwig in the lazy afternoon. About how this guy could paint, and that guy couldn't. And in the untrimmed grass, the peacock slowly moved, showing off his stunning blue feathers; and below, the gardeners worked among the gooseberries.





CHAPTER XXVI

Nedda, borrowing the bicycle of Clara's maid, Sirrett, had been over to Joyfields, and only learned on her return of her grandmother's arrival. In her bath before dinner there came to her one of those strategic thoughts that even such as are no longer quite children will sometimes conceive. She hurried desperately into her clothes, and, ready full twenty minutes before the gong was due to sound, made her way to her grandmother's room. Frances Freeland had just pulled THIS, and, to her astonishment, THAT had not gone in properly. She was looking at it somewhat severely, when she heard Nedda's knock. Drawing a screen temporarily over the imperfection, she said: “Come in!”

Nedda, borrowing the bicycle from Clara's maid, Sirrett, had been over to Joyfields and only found out about her grandmother's arrival when she got back. While taking a bath before dinner, she had one of those clever ideas that even people who aren't quite kids anymore sometimes think of. She quickly got dressed, ready a full twenty minutes before the gong was supposed to ring, and made her way to her grandmother's room. Frances Freeland had just finished THIS, and, to her surprise, THAT hadn’t been done properly. She was looking at it a bit disapprovingly when she heard Nedda knock. Quickly pulling a screen over the imperfection, she said, “Come in!”

The dear child looked charming in her white evening dress with one red flower in her hair; and while she kissed her, she noted that the neck of her dress was just a little too open to be quite nice, and at once thought: 'I've got the very thing for that.'

The sweet child looked lovely in her white evening dress with a red flower in her hair; and while she kissed her, she noticed that the neckline of her dress was slightly too open to be perfect, and immediately thought: 'I know exactly what to do about that.'

Going to a drawer that no one could have suspected of being there, she took from it a little diamond star. Getting delicate but firm hold of the Mechlin at the top of the frock, she popped it in, so that the neck was covered at least an inch higher, and said:

Going to a drawer that no one would have guessed was there, she took out a small diamond star. Carefully but securely grasping the lace at the top of the dress, she tucked it in, raising the neckline by at least an inch, and said:

“Now, ducky, you're to keep that as a little present. You've no idea how perfectly it suits you just like this.” And having satisfied for the moment her sense of niceness and that continual itch to part with everything she had, she surveyed her granddaughter, lighted up by that red flower, and said:

“Now, sweetie, you’re going to keep that as a little gift. You have no idea how perfectly it suits you just like this.” And having momentarily satisfied her desire to be kind and that constant urge to give away everything she had, she looked at her granddaughter, brightened by that red flower, and said:

“How sweet you look!”

“You look so cute!”

Nedda, looking down past cheeks colored by pleasure at the new little star on a neck rather browned by her day in the sun, murmured:

Nedda, looking down at her cheeks flushed with joy, noticed the new little star on her neck, which was a bit tanned from her day in the sun, murmured:

“Oh, Granny! it's much too lovely! You mustn't give it to me!”

“Oh, Granny! It's way too beautiful! You can't give it to me!”

These were moments that Frances Freeland loved best in life; and, with the untruthfulness in which she only indulged when she gave things away, or otherwise benefited her neighbors with or without their will, she added: “It's quite wasted; I never wear it myself.” And, seeing Nedda's smile, for the girl recollected perfectly having admired it during dinner at Uncle John's, and at Becket itself, she said decisively, “So that's that!” and settled her down on the sofa. But just as she was thinking, 'I have the very thing for the dear child's sunburn,' Nedda said: “Granny, dear, I've been meaning to tell you—Derek and I are engaged.”

These were the moments that Frances Freeland cherished the most in her life; and, with the small lies she only told when giving things away or helping her neighbors, whether they liked it or not, she added: “It's totally wasted; I never wear it myself.” And, seeing Nedda's smile, as the girl clearly remembered admiring it during dinner at Uncle John's, and at Becket itself, she said confidently, “So that's that!” and settled her down on the sofa. But just as she was thinking, 'I have the perfect solution for the dear child's sunburn,' Nedda said: “Granny, dear, I've been meaning to tell you—Derek and I are engaged.”

For the moment Frances Freeland could do nothing but tremulously interlace her fingers.

For now, Frances Freeland could only nervously intertwine her fingers.

“Oh, but, darling,” she said very gravely, “have you thought?”

“Oh, but, sweetheart,” she said very seriously, “have you thought about it?”

“I think of nothing else, Granny.”

“I don’t think about anything else, Grandma.”

“But has he thought?”

“But has he considered?”

Nedda nodded.

Nedda agreed.

Frances Freeland sat staring straight before her. Nedda and Derek, Derek and Nedda! The news was almost unintelligible; those two were still for her barely more than little creatures to be tucked up at night. Engaged! Marriage! Between those who were both as near to her, almost, as her own children had been! The effort was for the moment quite too much for her, and a sort of pain disturbed her heart. Then the crowning principle of her existence came a little to her aid. No use in making a fuss; must put the best face on it, whether it were going to come to anything or not! And she said:

Frances Freeland sat staring straight ahead. Nedda and Derek, Derek and Nedda! The news was almost impossible to grasp; those two felt to her like little kids who still needed to be tucked in at night. Engaged! Marriage! Between those who were nearly as close to her as her own children had been! The reality hit her hard for a moment, stirring a ache in her heart. Then, the guiding principle of her life kicked in. There was no point in making a big deal out of it; she had to stay positive, whether it led to anything or not! And she said:

“Well, darling, I don't know, I'm sure. I dare say it's very lovely for you. But do you think you've seen enough of him?”

“Well, sweetheart, I'm not really sure. I bet it's really nice for you. But do you think you’ve seen enough of him?”

Nedda gave her a swift look, then dropped her lashes, so that her eyes seemed closed. Snuggling up, she said:

Nedda shot her a quick glance, then lowered her eyelashes so it looked like her eyes were shut. Cuddling closer, she said:

“No, Granny, I do wish I could see more; if only I could go and stay with them a little!”

“No, Granny, I really wish I could see more; if only I could go and hang out with them for a bit!”

And as she planted that dart of suggestion, the gong sounded.

And as she planted that hint, the gong sounded.

In Frances Freeland, lying awake till two, as was her habit, the suggestion grew. To this growth not only her custom of putting the best face on things, but her incurable desire to make others happy, and an instinctive sympathy with love-affairs, all contributed; moreover, Felix had said something about Derek's having been concerned in something rash. If darling Nedda were there it would occupy his mind and help to make him careful. Never dilatory in forming resolutions, she decided to take the girl over with her on the morrow. Kirsteen had a dear little spare room, and Nedda should take her bag. It would be a nice surprise for them all. Accordingly, next morning, not wanting to give any trouble, she sent Thomas down to the Red Lion, where they had a comfortable fly, with a very steady, respectable driver, and ordered it to come at half past two. Then, without saying anything to Clara, she told Nedda to be ready to pop in her bag, trusting to her powers of explaining everything to everybody without letting anybody know anything. Little difficulties of this sort never bunkered her; she was essentially a woman of action. And on the drive to Joyfields she stilled the girl's quavering with:

In Frances Freeland, lying awake until two, as was her routine, the idea began to take shape. This development was influenced not only by her habit of putting a positive spin on things but also by her unending desire to make others happy and her natural empathy for romantic situations. Moreover, Felix had mentioned something about Derek being involved in something reckless. If dear Nedda were there, it would occupy his mind and help him be more cautious. Always quick to make decisions, she resolved to take the girl with her the next day. Kirsteen had a lovely little spare room, and Nedda should bring her bag. It would be a nice surprise for everyone. So, the next morning, wanting to avoid causing any trouble, she sent Thomas down to the Red Lion, where they had a comfortable carriage with a very steady, respectable driver, and asked for it to arrive at half past two. Then, without telling Clara anything, she asked Nedda to be ready to throw her bag together, trusting her ability to explain everything to everyone without letting anyone in on any details. Little challenges like this never stumped her; she was fundamentally a woman of action. And during the drive to Joyfields, she reassured the nervous girl with:

“It's all right, darling; it'll be very nice for them.”

“It's okay, sweetheart; it'll be really nice for them.”

She was perhaps the only person in the world who was not just a little bit afraid of Kirsteen. Indeed, she was constitutionally unable to be afraid of anything, except motor-cars, and, of course, earwigs, and even them one must put up with. Her critical sense told her that this woman in blue was just like anybody else, besides her father had been the colonel of a Highland regiment, which was quite nice, and one must put the best face on her.

She was probably the only person in the world who wasn’t at all afraid of Kirsteen. In fact, she simply couldn’t be scared of anything, except for cars and, of course, earwigs, and even those were something you just had to deal with. Her critical sense told her that this woman in blue was just like anyone else; plus, her dad had been the colonel of a Highland regiment, which was pretty impressive, so she figured she should put on a good front for her.

In this way, pointing out the beauty of each feature of the scenery, and not permitting herself or Nedda to think about the bag, they drove until they came to Joyfields.

In this way, highlighting the beauty of every aspect of the scenery and not allowing herself or Nedda to think about the bag, they drove until they reached Joyfields.

Kirsteen alone was in, and, having sent Nedda into the orchard to look for her uncle, Frances Freeland came at once to the point. It was so important, she thought, that darling Nedda should see more of dear Derek. They were very young, and if she could stay for a few weeks, they would both know their minds so much better. She had made her bring her bag, because she knew dear Kirsteen would agree with her; and it would be so nice for them all. Felix had told her about that poor man who had done this dreadful thing, and she thought that if Nedda were here it would be a distraction. She was a very good child, and quite useful in the house. And while she was speaking she watched Kirsteen, and thought: 'She is very handsome, and altogether ladylike; only it is such a pity she wears that blue thing in her hair—it makes her so conspicuous.' And rather unexpectedly she said:

Kirsteen was the only one home, and after sending Nedda to the orchard to find her uncle, Frances Freeland got straight to the point. It was really important, she believed, for sweet Nedda to spend more time with dear Derek. They were both so young, and if she could stay for a few weeks, they would understand their feelings much better. She had made Nedda bring her bag because she was sure sweet Kirsteen would agree with her; it would be lovely for all of them. Felix had told her about that poor man who did that terrible thing, and she thought having Nedda around would be a nice distraction. Nedda was such a good girl and quite helpful in the house. As she spoke, she observed Kirsteen and thought, 'She’s really attractive and very ladylike; it’s just a shame she wears that blue thing in her hair—it makes her stand out so much.' And rather unexpectedly, she said:

“Do you know, dear, I believe I know the very thing to keep your hair from getting loose. It's such lovely hair. And this is quite a new thing, and doesn't show at all; invented by a very nice hairdresser in Worcester. It's simplicity itself. Do let me show you!” Quickly going over, she removed the kingfisher-blue fillet, and making certain passes with her fingers through the hair, murmured:

“Do you know, dear, I think I have the perfect solution to keep your hair from getting loose. It's such beautiful hair. And this is totally new and completely discreet; it was created by a really talented hairdresser in Worcester. It's super simple. Let me show you!” Quickly moving over, she took off the kingfisher-blue ribbon and, making a few careful moves with her fingers through the hair, whispered:

“It's so beautifully fine; it seems such a pity not to show it all, dear. Now look at yourself!” And from the recesses of her pocket she produced a little mirror. “I'm sure Tod will simply love it like that. It'll be such a nice change for him.”

“It's so beautifully delicate; it seems like such a shame not to show it off, dear. Now take a look at yourself!” And from the depths of her pocket, she pulled out a small mirror. “I'm sure Tod will absolutely love it like this. It'll be such a nice change for him.”

Kirsteen, with just a faint wrinkling of her lips and eyebrows, waited till she had finished. Then she said:

Kirsteen, with a slight wrinkle of her lips and eyebrows, waited until she was done. Then she said:

“Yes, Mother, dear, I'm sure he will,” and replaced the fillet. A patient, half-sad, half-quizzical smile visited Frances Freeland's lips, as who should say: 'Yes, I know you think that I'm a fuss-box, but it really is a pity that you wear it so, darling!'

“Yes, Mom, I’m sure he will,” and put the hair clip back. A patient, half-sad, half-curious smile appeared on Frances Freeland's lips, as if to say: 'Yes, I know you think I'm being overly particular, but it really is a shame that you wear it like that, sweetheart!'

At sight of that smile, Kirsteen got up and kissed her gravely on the forehead.

At the sight of that smile, Kirsteen stood up and gave her a serious kiss on the forehead.

When Nedda came back from a fruitless search for Tod, her bag was already in the little spare bedroom and Frances Freeland gone. The girl had never yet been alone with her aunt, for whom she had a fervent admiration not unmixed with awe. She idealized her, of course, thinking of her as one might think of a picture or statue, a symbolic figure, standing for liberty and justice and the redress of wrong. Her never-varying garb of blue assisted the girl's fancy, for blue was always the color of ideals and aspiration—was not blue sky the nearest one could get to heaven—were not blue violets the flowers of spring? Then, too, Kirsteen was a woman with whom it would be quite impossible to gossip or small-talk; with her one could but simply and directly say what one felt, and only that over things which really mattered. And this seemed to Nedda so splendid that it sufficed in itself to prevent the girl from saying anything whatever. She longed to, all the same, feeling that to be closer to her aunt meant to be closer to Derek. Yet, with all, she knew that her own nature was very different; this, perhaps, egged her on, and made her aunt seem all the more exciting. She waited breathless till Kirsteen said:

When Nedda came back from her fruitless search for Tod, her bag was already in the small spare bedroom, and Frances Freeland was gone. The girl had never been alone with her aunt, whom she admired deeply but also looked up to with a bit of fear. She idealized her, imagining her like a picture or a statue, a symbol of freedom, justice, and righting wrongs. Her consistent blue outfit fueled Nedda's imagination, as blue was always associated with ideals and aspirations—wasn't the blue sky the closest one could get to heaven? And weren’t blue violets the flowers of spring? Plus, Kirsteen was someone you couldn't imagine gossiping or engaging in small talk with; when with her, you could only be straightforward about what you felt, and only about things that truly mattered. This seemed so wonderful to Nedda that it was enough to keep her from saying anything at all. Still, she longed to speak, knowing that being closer to her aunt meant being closer to Derek. Yet, she was aware that her own nature was quite different; perhaps this pushed her further and made her aunt seem even more intriguing. She waited breathlessly until Kirsteen said:

“Yes, you and Derek must know each other better. The worst kind of prison in the world is a mistaken marriage.”

“Yes, you and Derek definitely need to know each other better. The worst kind of prison in the world is a wrong marriage.”

Nedda nodded fervently. “It must be. But I think one knows, Aunt Kirsteen!”

Nedda nodded eagerly. “It has to be. But I think you just know, Aunt Kirsteen!”

She felt as if she were being searched right down to the soul before the answer came:

She felt like she was being searched right down to her soul before the answer came:

“Perhaps. I knew myself. I have seen others who did—a few. I think you might.”

“Maybe. I knew myself. I’ve seen a few others do it. I think you could too.”

Nedda flushed from sheer joy. “I could never go on if I didn't love. I feel I couldn't, even if I'd started.”

Nedda blushed from pure happiness. “I could never continue if I didn't love. I feel like I couldn't, even if I had started.”

With another long look through narrowing eyes, Kirsteen answered:

With another long glance, narrowing her eyes, Kirsteen replied:

“Yes. You would want truth. But after marriage truth is an unhappy thing, Nedda, if you have made a mistake.”

“Yes. You want the truth. But after marriage, the truth can be a painful thing, Nedda, if you’ve made a mistake.”

“It must be dreadful. Awful.”

"It must be awful."

“So don't make a mistake, my dear—and don't let him.”

“So don’t mess this up, my dear—and don’t let him.”

Nedda answered solemnly:

Nedda replied seriously:

“I won't—oh, I won't!”

“I won't—oh, I won't!”

Kirsteen had turned away to the window, and Nedda heard her say quietly to herself:

Kirsteen had turned away to the window, and Nedda heard her say softly to herself:

“'Liberty's a glorious feast!'”

"Liberty's a fantastic celebration!"

Trembling all over with the desire to express what was in her, Nedda stammered:

Trembling all over with the urge to express what was inside her, Nedda stammered:

“I would never keep anything that wanted to be free—never, never! I would never try to make any one do what they didn't want to!”

“I would never hold onto anything that wanted to be free—never, never! I would never try to force anyone to do what they didn’t want to!”

She saw her aunt smile, and wondered whether she had said anything exceptionally foolish. But it was not foolish—surely not—to say what one really felt.

She saw her aunt smile and wondered if she had said something really silly. But it definitely wasn’t silly—surely not—to express what you truly felt.

“Some day, Nedda, all the world will say that with you. Until then we'll fight those who won't say it. Have you got everything in your room you want? Let's come and see.”

“Someday, Nedda, everyone will say that about you. Until then, we'll stand up to those who won’t. Do you have everything you want in your room? Let’s go take a look.”

To pass from Becket to Joyfields was really a singular experience. At Becket you were certainly supposed to do exactly what you liked, but the tyranny of meals, baths, scents, and other accompaniments of the 'all-body' regime soon annihilated every impulse to do anything but just obey it. At Joyfields, bodily existence was a kind of perpetual skirmish, a sort of grudged accompaniment to a state of soul. You might be alone in the house at any meal-time. You might or might not have water in your jug. And as to baths, you had to go out to a little white-washed shed at the back, with a brick floor, where you pumped on yourself, prepared to shout out, “Halloo! I'm here!” in case any one else came wanting to do the same. The conditions were in fact almost perfect for seeing more of one another. Nobody asked where you were going, with whom going, or how going. You might be away by day or night without exciting curiosity or comment. And yet you were conscious of a certain something always there, holding the house together; some principle of life, or perhaps—just a woman in blue. There, too, was that strangest of all phenomena in an English home—no game ever played, outdoors or in.

Transitioning from Becket to Joyfields was truly a unique experience. At Becket, you were definitely expected to do whatever you wanted, but the strict schedule of meals, baths, scents, and other aspects of the "all-body" lifestyle quickly eliminated any urge to do anything but follow the rules. At Joyfields, living was a sort of ongoing battle, a reluctant support to a deeper spiritual state. You might find yourself alone in the house during meal times. You might or might not have water in your jug. When it came to baths, you had to head out to a small white-washed shed in the back, with a brick floor, where you pumped water on yourself and got ready to shout, “Halloo! I'm here!” in case anyone else needed to do the same. The circumstances were, in fact, almost ideal for getting to know one another better. Nobody cared where you were going, who you were with, or how you were getting there. You could be away day or night without stirring up curiosity or comments. And yet, you could sense that there was always something there, keeping the house together; some principle of life, or perhaps—just a woman in blue. There, too, was that oddest of all things in an English home—no games ever played, indoors or out.

The next fortnight, while the grass was ripening, was a wonderful time for Nedda, given up to her single passion—of seeing more of him who so completely occupied her heart. She was at peace now with Sheila, whose virility forbade that she should dispute pride of place with this soft and truthful guest, so evidently immersed in rapture. Besides, Nedda had that quality of getting on well with her own sex, found in those women who, though tenacious, are not possessive; who, though humble, are secretly very self-respecting; who, though they do not say much about it, put all their eggs in one basket; above all, who disengage, no matter what their age, a candid but subtle charm.

The next two weeks, while the grass was maturing, were an amazing time for Nedda, fully dedicated to her one passion—spending more time with the man who completely filled her heart. She was now at ease with Sheila, whose strong nature made it clear that she wouldn't challenge this soft and sincere guest, who was clearly lost in bliss. Plus, Nedda had that ability to get along well with other women, a trait found in those who, while determined, aren’t possessive; who, while modest, have a quiet sense of self-respect; who, though they don’t talk about it much, invest everything in one relationship; and most importantly, who exude, no matter their age, a genuine yet subtle charm.

But that fortnight was even more wonderful for Derek, caught between two passions—both so fervid. For though the passion of his revolt against the Mallorings did not pull against his passion for Nedda, they both tugged at him. And this had one curious psychological effect. It made his love for Nedda more actual, less of an idealization. Now that she was close to him, under the same roof, he felt the full allurement of her innocent warmth; he would have been cold-blooded indeed if he had not taken fire, and, his pride always checking the expression of his feelings, they glowed ever hotter underneath.

But that two weeks was even more amazing for Derek, caught between two intense passions—both so strong. Although his anger against the Mallorings didn’t conflict with his feelings for Nedda, they both pulled at him. This created a curious psychological effect. It made his love for Nedda feel more real, less idealized. Now that she was close to him, living under the same roof, he felt the full attraction of her innocent warmth; he would have had to be really cold-hearted not to catch fire, and with his pride always holding back his feelings, they simmered even hotter beneath the surface.

Yet, over those sunshiny days there hung a shadow, as of something kept back, not shared between them; a kind of waiting menace. Nedda learned of Kirsteen and Sheila all the useful things she could; the evenings she passed with Derek, those long evenings of late May and early June, this year so warm and golden. They walked generally in the direction of the hills. A favorite spot was a wood of larches whose green shoots had not yet quite ceased to smell of lemons. Tall, slender things those trees, whose stems and dried lower branch-growth were gray, almost sooty, up to the feathery green of the tops, that swayed and creaked faintly in a wind, with a soughing of their branches like the sound of the sea. From the shelter of those Highland trees, rather strange in such a countryside, they two could peer forth at the last sunlight gold-powdering the fringed branches, at the sunset flush dyeing the sky above the Beacon; watch light slowly folding gray wings above the hay-fields and the elms; mark the squirrels scurry along, and the pigeons' evening flight. A stream ran there at the edge, and beech-trees grew beside it. In the tawny-dappled sand bed of that clear water, and the gray-green dappled trunks of those beeches with their great, sinuous, long-muscled roots, was that something which man can never tame or garden out of the land: the strength of unconquerable fertility—the remote deep life in Nature's heart. Men and women had their spans of existence; those trees seemed as if there forever! From generation to generation lovers might come and, looking on this strength and beauty, feel in their veins the sap of the world. Here the laborer and his master, hearing the wind in the branches and the water murmuring down, might for a brief minute grasp the land's unchangeable wild majesty. And on the far side of that little stream was a field of moon-colored flowers that had for Nedda a strange fascination. Once the boy jumped across and brought her back a handkerchief full. They were of two kinds: close to the water's edge the marsh orchis, and farther back, a small marguerite. Out of this they made a crown of the alternate flowers, and a girdle for her waist. That was an evening of rare beauty, and warm enough already for an early chafer to go blooming in the dusk. An evening when they wandered with their arms round each other a long time, silent, stopping to listen to an owl; stopping to point out each star coming so shyly up in the gray-violet of the sky. And that was the evening when they had a strange little quarrel, sudden as a white squall on a blue sea, or the tiff of two birds shooting up in a swift spiral of attack and then—all over. Would he come to-morrow to see her milking? He could not. Why? He could not; he would be out. Ah! he never told her where he went; he never let her come with him among the laborers like Sheila.

Yet, over those sunny days, there was a shadow hanging over them, like something unsaid and unshared; a kind of waiting threat. Nedda learned everything she could about Kirsteen and Sheila; the long evenings she spent with Derek, those warm and golden nights of late May and early June. They usually walked toward the hills. One of their favorite spots was a larch woods, where the green shoots still had a hint of lemon scent. The trees were tall and slender, with gray, almost sooty stems and dried lower branches leading up to the feathery green tops that swayed and creaked gently in the breeze, with rustling branches like the sound of the sea. From the shelter of those Highland trees, which seemed quite odd in such a landscape, they could gaze at the last rays of sunlight dusting the fringed branches and the sunset blush coloring the sky over the Beacon; watch as light slowly spread gray wings above the hayfields and elms; see the squirrels darting about and the pigeons flying home for the evening. A stream flowed at the edge, with beech trees growing beside it. In the tawny-dappled sandy bottom of the clear water, and along the gray-green speckled trunks of those beeches with their large, twisting, muscular roots, was that thing which humans can never tame or remove from the earth: the power of unstoppable fertility—the deep, ancient life at Nature's core. Men and women had their lifetimes; those trees seemed like they would be there forever! From one generation to the next, lovers might come and, witnessing this strength and beauty, feel the heartbeat of the world in their veins. Here, laborers and their bosses, listening to the wind in the branches and the water flowing, could for a brief moment grasp the land's unyielding wild majesty. And on the other side of that little stream was a field of moon-colored flowers that fascinated Nedda. Once, the boy jumped across and brought her back a handkerchief full of them. There were two kinds: close to the water's edge, the marsh orchid, and further back, a small daisy. They made a crown of the alternating flowers and a belt for her waist. It was a night of rare beauty, warm enough for an early beetle to start buzzing in the dusk. An evening when they wandered with their arms around each other for a long time, silently, stopping to listen to an owl; pausing to point out each star appearing shyly in the gray-violet sky. And that was the evening when they had a strange little argument, sudden as a white squall on a blue sea, or the squabble of two birds spiraling upward in a quick clash and then—just like that, it was over. Would he come tomorrow to watch her milk the cows? He couldn’t. Why? He couldn’t; he would be out. Ah! He never told her where he went; he never let her join him among the workers like Sheila did.

“I can't; I'm pledged not.”

“I can't; I'm committed not to.”

“Then you don't trust me!”

"Then you don't believe me!"

“Of course I trust you; but a promise is a promise. You oughtn't to ask me, Nedda.”

“Of course I trust you, but a promise is a promise. You shouldn’t ask me, Nedda.”

“No; but I would never have promised to keep anything from you.”

“No; but I would never promise to keep anything from you.”

“You don't understand.”

"You don't get it."

“Oh! yes, I do. Love doesn't mean the same to you that it does to me.”

“Oh! yes, I do. Love doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to me.”

“How do you know what it means to me?”

“How do you know what it means to me?”

“I couldn't have a secret from you.”

“I can’t keep a secret from you.”

“Then you don't count honour.”

“Then you don't value honor.”

“Honour only binds oneself!”

"Honor only binds yourself!"

“What d'you mean by that?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I include you—you don't include me in yourself, that's all.”

“I include you—you don’t see me as part of yourself, that’s all.”

“I think you're very unjust. I was obliged to promise; it doesn't only concern myself.”

“I think you're being really unfair. I had to promise; it's not just about me.”

Then silent, motionless, a yard apart, they looked fiercely at each other, their hearts stiff and sore, and in their brains no glimmer of perception of anything but tragedy. What more tragic than to have come out of an elysium of warm arms round each other, to this sudden hostility! And the owl went on hooting, and the larches smelled sweet! And all around was the same soft dusk wherein the flowers in her hair and round her waist gleamed white! But for Nedda the world had suddenly collapsed. Tears rushed into her eyes; she shook her head and turned away, hiding them passionately.... A full minute passed, each straining to make no sound and catch the faintest sound from the other, till in her breathing there was a little clutch. His fingers came stealing round, touched her cheeks, and were wetted. His arms suddenly squeezed all breath out of her; his lips fastened on hers. She answered those lips with her own desperately, bending her head back, shutting her wet eyes. And the owl hooted, and the white flowers fell into the dusk off her hair and waist.

Then, silent and still, just a yard apart, they glared at each other, their hearts heavy and aching, and their minds consumed by nothing but tragedy. What could be more tragic than coming out of a warm embrace into this sudden conflict? The owl continued to hoot, and the larches smelled sweet! All around them was the same gentle twilight where the flowers in her hair and around her waist shimmered white! But for Nedda, the world had suddenly crumbled. Tears filled her eyes; she shook her head and turned away, passionately hiding her tears... A full minute passed, each trying to stay silent and sense the slightest sound from the other, until her breathing hitched slightly. His fingers gently slid around, touching her cheeks, and they became damp. His arms suddenly gripped her tightly, squeezing the breath out of her; his lips pressed against hers. She responded desperately, leaning her head back, closing her wet eyes. And the owl hooted, while the white flowers fell from her hair and waist into the dusk.

After that, they walked once more enlaced, avoiding with what perfect care any allusion to the sudden tragedy, giving themselves up to the bewildering ecstasy that had started throbbing in their blood with that kiss, longing only not to spoil it. And through the sheltering larch wood their figures moved from edge to edge, like two little souls in paradise, unwilling to come forth.

After that, they walked together again, carefully avoiding any mention of the sudden tragedy, immersing themselves in the overwhelming joy that had begun to pulse in their veins with that kiss, wanting only to preserve it. Through the protective larch woods, their silhouettes drifted from one side to the other, like two little souls in paradise, reluctant to emerge.

After that evening love had a poignancy it had not quite had before; at once deeper, sweeter, tinged for both of them with the rich darkness of passion, and with discovery that love does not mean a perfect merger of one within another. For both felt themselves in the right over that little quarrel. The boy that he could not, must not, resign what was not his to resign; feeling dimly, without being quite able to shape the thought even to himself, that a man has a life of action into which a woman cannot always enter, with which she cannot always be identified. The girl feeling that she did not want any life into which he did not enter, so that it was hard that he should want to exclude her from anything. For all that, she did not try again to move him to let her into the secret of his plans of revolt and revenge, and disdained completely to find them out from Sheila or her aunt.

After that evening, love took on a depth it hadn’t had before; it was now richer, sweeter, tinged for both of them with the intense darkness of passion, and with the realization that love doesn’t mean completely merging into one another. Each felt justified about their little argument. The boy believed he could not, must not, give up what wasn’t his to give up; he sensed, without fully articulating it to himself, that a man has a life of action that a woman can’t always share or be fully part of. The girl felt that she didn’t want any life that he didn’t share with her, making it difficult for her that he wanted to keep her out of anything. Still, she didn’t try again to get him to share the details of his plans for revolt and revenge, completely dismissing the idea of finding them out from Sheila or her aunt.

And the grass went on ripening. Many and various as the breeds of men, or the trees of a forest, were the stalks that made up that greenish jungle with the waving, fawn-colored surface; of rye-grass and brome-grass, of timothy, plantain, and yarrow; of bent-grass and quake-grass, foxtail, and the green-hearted trefoil; of dandelion, dock, musk-thistle, and sweet-scented vernal.

And the grass kept growing. Just as there are many different kinds of people or trees in a forest, the stalks that formed that green jungle with its waving, light-brown surface included rye grass, brome grass, timothy, plantain, and yarrow; bent grass and quake grass, foxtail, and the green-hearted clover; dandelion, dock, musk thistle, and sweet-scented vernal.

On the 10th of June Tod began cutting his three fields; the whole family, with Nedda and the three Tryst children, working like slaves. Old Gaunt, who looked to the harvests to clothe him for the year, came to do his share of raking, and any other who could find some evening hours to spare. The whole was cut and carried in three days of glorious weather.

On June 10th, Tod started harvesting his three fields; the entire family, along with Nedda and the three Tryst kids, worked really hard. Old Gaunt, who relied on the harvests to provide for him throughout the year, came to help with the raking, and anyone else who could find some free time in the evening joined in. Everything was cut and collected in three days of beautiful weather.

The lovers were too tired the last evening of hay harvest to go rambling, and sat in the orchard watching the moon slide up through the coppice behind the church. They sat on Tod's log, deliciously weary, in the scent of the new-mown hay, while moths flitted gray among the blue darkness of the leaves, and the whitened trunks of the apple-trees gleamed ghostly. It was very warm; a night of whispering air, opening all hearts. And Derek said:

The lovers were too exhausted on the last evening of hay harvest to go out exploring, and sat in the orchard watching the moon rise through the thicket behind the church. They sat on Tod's log, pleasantly tired, in the scent of the freshly cut hay, while moths flitted among the blue darkness of the leaves, and the pale trunks of the apple trees glowed eerily. It was very warm; a night of gentle breezes, opening up all hearts. And Derek said:

“You'll know to-morrow, Nedda.”

"You'll know tomorrow, Nedda."

A flutter of fear overtook her. What would she know?

A rush of fear washed over her. What did she know?





CHAPTER XXVII

On the 13th of June Sir Gerald Malloring, returning home to dinner from the House of Commons, found on his hall table, enclosed in a letter from his agent, the following paper:

On June 13th, Sir Gerald Malloring, coming home for dinner from the House of Commons, found the following paper on his hall table, enclosed in a letter from his agent:

“We, the undersigned laborers on Sir Gerald Malloring's estate, beg respectfully to inform him that we consider it unjust that any laborer should be evicted from his cottage for any reason connected with private life, or social or political convictions. And we respectfully demand that, before a laborer receives notice to quit for any such reason, the case shall be submitted to all his fellow laborers on the estate; and that in the future he shall only receive such notice if a majority of his fellow laborers record their votes in favor of the notice being given. In the event of this demand being refused, we regretfully decline to take any hand in getting in the hay on Sir Gerald Malloring's estate.”

“We, the undersigned workers on Sir Gerald Malloring's estate, respectfully want to inform him that we believe it is unfair for any worker to be kicked out of his cottage for reasons related to personal life, or social or political beliefs. We kindly ask that, before a worker is given notice to leave for any of these reasons, the situation should be discussed with all his fellow workers on the estate; and that in the future, he should only receive such notice if a majority of his fellow workers vote in favor of it. If this request is denied, we regretfully will not participate in the hay harvest on Sir Gerald Malloring's estate.”

Then followed ninety-three signatures, or signs of the cross with names printed after them.

Then there were ninety-three signatures, or marks of the cross with names printed after them.

The agent's letter which enclosed this document mentioned that the hay was already ripe for cutting; that everything had been done to induce the men to withdraw the demand, without success, and that the farmers were very much upset. The thing had been sprung on them, the agent having no notion that anything of the sort was on foot. It had been very secretly, very cleverly, managed; and, in the agent's opinion, was due to Mr. Freeland's family. He awaited Sir Gerald's instructions. Working double tides, with luck and good weather, the farmers and their families might perhaps save half of the hay.

The agent's letter that came with this document said the hay was already ready for cutting; that everything had been done to get the men to back off their demand, but it didn’t work, and the farmers were really upset. They were hit with this unexpectedly, and the agent had no idea anything like this was happening. It was handled very secretly and cleverly; and, in the agent's view, it was due to Mr. Freeland's family. He was waiting for Sir Gerald's instructions. If they worked really hard, and with some luck and good weather, the farmers and their families might be able to save half of the hay.

Malloring read this letter twice, and the enclosure three times, and crammed them deep down into his pocket.

Malloring read this letter twice and the attachment three times, then stuffed them deep into his pocket.

It was pre-eminently one of those moments which bring out the qualities of Norman blood. And the first thing he did was to look at the barometer. It was going slowly down. After a month of first-class weather it would not do that without some sinister intention. An old glass, he believed in it implicitly. He tapped, and it sank further. He stood there frowning. Should he consult his wife? General friendliness said: Yes! A Norman instinct of chivalry, and perhaps the deeper Norman instinct, that, when it came to the point, women were too violent, said, No! He went up-stairs three at a time, and came down two. And all through dinner he sat thinking it over, and talking as if nothing had happened; so that he hardly spoke. Three-quarters of the hay at stake, if it rained soon! A big loss to the farmers, a further reduction in rents already far too low. Should he grin and bear it, and by doing nothing show these fellows that he could afford to despise their cowardly device? For it WAS cowardly to let his grass get ripe and play it this low trick! But if he left things unfought this time, they would try it on again with the corn—not that there was much of that on the estate of a man who only believed in corn as a policy.

It was definitely one of those moments that really showed the qualities of Norman blood. The first thing he did was check the barometer. It was slowly dropping. After a month of great weather, it wouldn’t do that without some bad news. He trusted that old glass completely. He tapped it, and it sank even lower. He stood there frowning. Should he talk to his wife about it? General politeness said: Yes! A Norman instinct of chivalry, and maybe the deeper Norman instinct that women could be too emotional when it came down to it, said, No! He rushed upstairs three steps at a time and came down two. Throughout dinner, he sat deep in thought, talking as if nothing was wrong, so he hardly said anything at all. Three-quarters of the hay was at risk if it rained soon! That would be a big loss for the farmers and a further drop in rents that were already too low. Should he just cope with it, and by doing nothing, show these guys that he could afford to shrug off their cowardly trick? Because it WAS cowardly to let his grass get ripe and play such a low move! But if he didn’t fight back this time, they would try it again with the corn—not that there was much of that on the estate of a man who only thought of corn as a strategy.

Should he make the farmers sack the lot and get in other labor? But where? Agricultural laborers were made, not born. And it took a deuce of a lot of making, at that! Should he suspend wages till they withdrew their demand? That might do—but he would still lose the hay. The hay! After all, anybody, pretty well, could make hay; it was the least skilled of all farm work, so long as the farmers were there to drive the machines and direct. Why not act vigorously? And his jaws set so suddenly on a piece of salmon that he bit his tongue. The action served to harden a growing purpose. So do small events influence great! Suspend those fellows' wages, get down strike-breakers, save the hay! And if there were a row—well, let there be a row! The constabulary would have to act. It was characteristic of his really Norman spirit that the notion of agreeing to the demand, or even considering whether it were just, never once came into his mind. He was one of those, comprising nowadays nearly all his class, together with their press, who habitually referred to his country as a democratic power, a champion of democracy—but did not at present suspect the meaning of the word; nor, to say truth, was it likely they ever would. Nothing, however, made him more miserable than indecision. And so, now that he was on the point of deciding, and the decision promised vigorous consequences, he felt almost elated. Closing his jaws once more too firmly, this time on lamb, he bit his tongue again. It was impossible to confess what he had done, for two of his children were there, expected to eat with that well-bred detachment which precludes such happenings; and he rose from dinner with his mind made up. Instead of going back to the House of Commons, he went straight to a strike-breaking agency. No grass should grow under the feet of his decision! Thence he sought the one post-office still open, despatched a long telegram to his agent, another to the chief constable of Worcestershire; and, feeling he had done all he could for the moment, returned to the 'House,' where they were debating the rural housing question. He sat there, paying only moderate attention to a subject on which he was acknowledged an authority. To-morrow, in all probability, the papers would have got hold of the affair! How he loathed people poking their noses into his concerns! And suddenly he was assailed, very deep down, by a feeling with which in his firmness he had not reckoned—a sort of remorse that he was going to let a lot of loafing blackguards down onto his land, to toss about his grass, and swill their beastly beer above it. And all the real love he had for his fields and coverts, all the fastidiousness of an English gentleman, and, to do him justice, the qualms of a conscience telling him that he owed better things than this to those born on his estate, assaulted him in force. He sat back in his seat, driving his long legs hard against the pew in front. His thick, wavy, still brown hair was beautifully parted above the square brow that frowned over deep-set eyes and a perfectly straight nose. Now and again he bit into a side of his straw-colored moustache, or raised a hand and twisted the other side. Without doubt one of the handsomest and perhaps the most Norman-looking man in the whole 'House.' There was a feeling among those round him that he was thinking deeply. And so he was. But he had decided, and he was not a man who went back on his decisions.

Should he have the farmers fire everyone and hire new workers? But where would he find them? Agricultural workers were created, not born. And it took a tremendous effort to create them, at that! Should he stop wages until they dropped their demands? That might work—but he would still lose the hay. The hay! After all, pretty much anyone could make hay; it was the least skilled of all farm work, as long as the farmers were around to operate the machines and give direction. Why not act decisively? He suddenly clamped down on a piece of salmon and bit his tongue. The pain solidified a growing determination. It's amazing how small incidents can influence big decisions! Freeze those guys' pay, bring in strike-breakers, save the hay! And if there was a commotion—well, let there be a commotion! The police would have to step in. It was characteristic of his truly Norman spirit that the idea of agreeing to the demands, or even thinking about whether they were fair, never crossed his mind. He was one of those, now nearly all in his class, along with their media, who routinely referred to the country as a democratic power, a champion of democracy—but didn't really grasp the meaning of the word; in truth, it was unlikely they ever would. Nothing made him feel more miserable than indecision. So now that he was about to make a choice, and that choice promised strong consequences, he felt almost uplifted. He clamped his jaws shut once more, this time on a piece of lamb, and bit his tongue again. He couldn’t admit what he had done, especially since two of his children were there, expected to eat with the kind of refinement that prevents such slip-ups; and he got up from dinner with his mind made up. Instead of going back to the House of Commons, he headed straight to a strike-breaking agency. No time should be wasted on his decision! Then he found the one post office still open, sent a long telegram to his agent, and another to the chief constable of Worcestershire; and feeling he'd done all he could for now, he returned to the 'House,' where they were discussing the rural housing issue. He sat there, paying only mild attention to a topic on which he was recognized as an expert. Tomorrow, most likely, the papers would have picked up the story! How he hated people prying into his business! Suddenly, he was hit deep down by an unexpected feeling—an almost remorseful sense that he was going to let a bunch of lazy bums onto his land, trampling his grass and guzzling their disgusting beer on it. All the real love he had for his fields and woodlands, all the fastidiousness of an English gentleman, and, to be fair, the pangs of conscience reminding him that he owed better to those born on his estate, hit him hard. He leaned back in his seat, pressing his long legs firmly against the pew in front. His thick, wavy still-brown hair was elegantly parted above a square brow that frowned over deep-set eyes and a perfectly straight nose. Now and then, he would bite into one side of his straw-colored moustache or raise a hand to twist the other side. Undoubtedly one of the handsomest and possibly the most Norman-looking men in the whole 'House.' There was a sense among those around him that he was deep in thought. And he was. But he had made up his mind, and he was not the kind of man to go back on his decisions.

Morning brought even worse sensations. Those ruffians that he had ordered down—the farmers would never consent to put them up! They would have to camp. Camp on his land! It was then that for two seconds the thought flashed through him: Ought I to have considered whether I could agree to that demand? Gone in another flash. If there was one thing a man could not tolerate, it was dictation! Out of the question! But perhaps he had been a little hasty about strike-breakers. Was there not still time to save the situation from that, if he caught the first train? The personal touch was everything. If he put it to the men on the spot, with these strike-breakers up his sleeve, surely they must listen! After all, they were his own people. And suddenly he was overcome with amazement that they should have taken such a step. What had got into them? Spiritless enough, as a rule, in all conscience; the sort of fellows who hadn't steam even to join the miniature rifle-range that he had given them! And visions of them, as he was accustomed to pass them in the lanes, slouching along with their straw bags, their hoes, and their shamefaced greetings, passed before him. Yes! It was all that fellow Freeland's family! The men had been put up to it—put up to it! The very wording of their demand showed that! Very bitterly he thought of the unneighborly conduct of that woman and her cubs. It was impossible to keep it from his wife! And so he told her. Rather to his surprise, she had no scruples about the strike-breakers. Of course, the hay must be saved! And the laborers be taught a lesson! All the unpleasantness he and she had gone through over Tryst and that Gaunt girl must not go for nothing! It must never be said or thought that the Freeland woman and her children had scored over them! If the lesson were once driven home, they would have no further trouble.

Morning brought even worse feelings. Those thugs he had sent away—the farmers would never agree to let them stay! They would have to camp out. Camp on his land! For a brief moment, he wondered: Should I have thought about whether I could agree to that? But the thought vanished just as quickly. There was one thing a man couldn't tolerate, and that was being bossed around! Absolutely not! But maybe he had been a bit too quick to dismiss the idea of strike-breakers. Was there still time to turn things around if he caught the first train? Personal interaction was everything. If he approached the workers directly, with these strike-breakers on hand, surely they would listen! After all, they were his own people. Suddenly, he was shocked that they had taken such a step. What had come over them? Usually so apathetic, after all; these were the kind of guys who couldn't even be bothered to join the little rifle range he had set up for them! He pictured them as he usually saw them in the lanes, trudging along with their straw bags, their hoes, and their embarrassed greetings. Yes! It was all that Freeland woman's fault! The men had been influenced—manipulated! The very wording of their demand showed it! He bitterly thought about the unneighborly behavior of that woman and her kids. He couldn’t keep it from his wife! So, he told her. To his surprise, she had no objections about the strike-breakers. Of course, the hay had to be saved! And the workers needed to learn a lesson! Everything they had gone through with Tryst and that Gaunt girl couldn't go to waste! It must never be said or thought that the Freeland woman and her children had gotten the upper hand over them! Once the lesson was made clear, they would have no more issues.

He admired her firmness, though with a certain impatience. Women never quite looked ahead; never quite realized all the consequences of anything. And he thought: 'By George! I'd no idea she was so hard! But, then, she always felt more strongly about Tryst and that Gaunt girl than I did.'

He admired her determination, though with a bit of frustration. Women never seemed to think things through; they never fully grasped the consequences of their actions. And he thought: 'Wow! I had no idea she was so tough! But, she always cared more about Tryst and that Gaunt girl than I did.'

In the hall the glass was still going down. He caught the 9.15, wiring to his agent to meet him at the station, and to the impresario of the strike-breakers to hold up their departure until he telegraphed. The three-mile drive up from the station, fully half of which was through his own land, put him in possession of all the agent had to tell: Nasty spirit abroad—men dumb as fishes—the farmers, puzzled and angry, had begun cutting as best they could. Not a man had budged. He had seen young Mr. and Miss Freeland going about. The thing had been worked very cleverly. He had suspected nothing—utterly unlike the laborers as he knew them. They had no real grievance, either! Yes, they were going on with all their other work—milking, horses, and that; it was only the hay they wouldn't touch. Their demand was certainly a very funny one—very funny—had never heard of anything like it. Amounted almost to security of tenure. The Tryst affair no doubt had done it! Malloring cut him short:

In the hall, the glass was still going down. He caught the 9:15, wiring his agent to meet him at the station, and telling the impresario of the strike-breakers to delay their departure until he sent a telegram. The three-mile drive from the station, half of which passed through his own land, gave him all the info the agent had to share: there was a nasty atmosphere—men were as quiet as fish—the farmers, confused and angry, had started cutting whatever they could. Not a single man had moved. He had seen young Mr. and Miss Freeland going around. It had been handled very cleverly. He had suspected nothing—completely unlike the laborers he knew. They really didn’t have a grievance, either! Yes, they were continuing with all their other tasks—milking, working with the horses, and so on; it was just the hay they refused to touch. Their demand was definitely a strange one—very strange—I had never heard of anything like it. It was almost like asking for job security. The Tryst situation had surely led to this! Malloring interrupted him:

“Till they've withdrawn this demand, Simmons, I can't discuss that or anything.”

“Until they take back this demand, Simmons, I can't talk about that or anything else.”

The agent coughed behind his hand.

The agent coughed into his hand.

Naturally! Only perhaps there might be a way of wording it that would satisfy them. Never do to really let them have such decisions in their hands, of course!

Naturally! But maybe there’s a way to phrase it that would make them happy. It wouldn’t be good to let them have those kinds of decisions, of course!

They were just passing Tod's. The cottage wore its usual air of embowered peace. And for the life of him Malloring could not restrain a gesture of annoyance.

They were just passing Tod's. The cottage had its usual peaceful vibe. And no matter how hard he tried, Malloring couldn't help but show his irritation.

On reaching home he sent gardeners and grooms in all directions with word that he would be glad to meet the men at four o'clock at the home farm. Much thought, and interviews with several of the farmers, who all but one—a shaky fellow at best—were for giving the laborers a sharp lesson, occupied the interval. Though he had refused to admit the notion that the men could be chicaned, as his agent had implied, he certainly did wonder a little whether a certain measure of security might not in some way be guaranteed, which would still leave him and the farmers a free hand. But the more he meditated on the whole episode, the more he perceived how intimately it interfered with the fundamental policy of all good landowners—of knowing what was good for their people better than those people knew themselves.

Upon arriving home, he dispatched gardeners and stable hands in every direction with the message that he would be happy to meet the men at four o'clock at the home farm. He spent the time thinking and talking with several farmers, most of whom—except for one rather unstable individual—were in favor of giving the laborers a stern lesson. Although he refused to accept the idea that the men could be easily deceived, as his agent had suggested, he did find himself wondering if a certain level of security could somehow be guaranteed that would still allow him and the farmers to act freely. However, the more he reflected on the entire situation, the more he realized how deeply it conflicted with the core principle of all good landowners: that they should know what’s best for their people better than those people know themselves.

As four o'clock approached, he walked down to the home farm. The sky was lightly overcast, and a rather chill, draughty, rustling wind had risen. Resolved to handle the men with the personal touch, he had discouraged his agent and the farmers from coming to the conference, and passed the gate with the braced-up feeling of one who goes to an encounter. In that very spick-and-span farmyard ducks were swimming leisurely on the greenish pond, white pigeons strutting and preening on the eaves of the barn, and his keen eye noted that some tiles were out of order up there. Four o'clock! Ah, here was a fellow coming! And instinctively he crisped his hands that were buried in his pockets, and ran over to himself his opening words. Then, with a sensation of disgust, he saw that the advancing laborer was that incorrigible 'land lawyer' Gaunt. The short, square man with the ruffled head and the little bright-gray eyes saluted, uttered an “Afternoon, Sir Gerald!” in his teasing voice, and stood still. His face wore the jeering twinkle that had disconcerted so many political meetings. Two lean fellows, rather alike, with lined faces and bitten, drooped moustaches, were the next to come through the yard gate. They halted behind Gaunt, touching their forelocks, shuffling a little, and looking sidelong at each other. And Malloring waited. Five past four! Ten past! Then he said:

As four o'clock neared, he walked down to the home farm. The sky was slightly overcast, and a cool, drafty wind was picking up. Determined to connect with the men personally, he had discouraged his agent and the farmers from attending the meeting, and he passed through the gate with the tense feeling of someone heading into a challenge. In that neat farmyard, ducks were swimming lazily on the greenish pond, and white pigeons were strutting and preening on the barn's eaves, while his sharp eye noticed some tiles out of place up there. Four o'clock! Ah, here came someone! Instinctively, he tightened his hands buried in his pockets and ran through his opening lines in his head. Then, with a wave of disgust, he recognized that the approaching laborer was the infamous 'land lawyer' Gaunt. The short, stocky man with messy hair and bright gray eyes greeted him, saying, “Afternoon, Sir Gerald!” in his teasing tone, and then he stopped. His face had the mocking glint that had thrown off so many political meetings. Two lean guys, who looked somewhat similar with lined faces and droopy mustaches, came next through the yard gate. They paused behind Gaunt, touched their forelocks, fidgeted a bit, and sneaked glances at each other. And Malloring waited. Five past four! Ten past! Then he said:

“D'you mind telling the others that I'm here?”

“Do you mind telling the others that I'm here?”

Gaunt answered:

Gaunt replied:

“If so be as you was waitin' for the meetin', I fancy as 'ow you've got it, Sir Gerald!”

“If you were waiting for the meeting, I guess you’ve got it, Sir Gerald!”

A wave of anger surged up in Malloring, dyeing his face brick-red. So! He had come all that way with the best intentions—to be treated like this; to meet this 'land lawyer,' who, he could see, was only here to sharpen his tongue, and those two scarecrow-looking chaps, who had come to testify, no doubt, to his discomfiture. And he said sharply:

A wave of anger rushed through Malloring, turning his face bright red. So! He had come all this way with good intentions—only to be treated like this; to meet this 'land lawyer,' who, he could see, was just here to sharpen his tongue, and those two scarecrow-looking guys who had come to testify, no doubt, to his embarrassment. And he said sharply:

“So that's the best you can do to meet me, is it?”

“So this is the best you can do to meet me, huh?”

Gaunt answered imperturbably:

Gaunt replied calmly:

“I think it is, Sir Gerald.”

“I think it is, Sir Gerald.”

“Then you've mistaken your man.”

“Then you've got the wrong guy.”

“I don't think so, Sir Gerald.”

“I don't think so, Sir Gerald.”

Without another look Malloring passed the three by, and walked back to the house. In the hall was the agent, whose face clearly showed that he had foreseen this defeat. Malloring did not wait for him to speak.

Without another glance, Malloring walked past the three and headed back to the house. In the hall was the agent, whose expression clearly indicated that he had anticipated this defeat. Malloring didn’t wait for him to say anything.

“Make arrangements. The strike-breakers will be down by noon to-morrow. I shall go through with it now, Simmons, if I have to clear the whole lot out. You'd better go in and see that they're ready to send police if there's any nonsense. I'll be down again in a day or two.” And, without waiting for reply, he passed into his study. There, while the car was being got ready, he stood in the window, very sore; thinking of what he had meant to do; thinking of his good intentions; thinking of what was coming to the country, when a man could not even get his laborers to come and hear what he had to say. And a sense of injustice, of anger, of bewilderment, harrowed his very soul.

“Make arrangements. The strike-breakers will be here by noon tomorrow. I'm going through with this now, Simmons, even if I have to clear them all out. You should go in and make sure they’re ready to call the police if there's any trouble. I’ll be back in a day or two.” And without waiting for a response, he walked into his study. There, while the car was being prepared, he stood by the window, feeling frustrated; thinking about what he had planned to do; reflecting on his good intentions; contemplating what was happening in the country when a man couldn’t even get his workers to come and listen to him. A feeling of injustice, anger, and confusion tormented him deeply.





CHAPTER XXVIII

For the first two days of this new 'kick-up,' that 'fellow Freeland's' family undoubtedly tasted the sweets of successful mutiny. The fellow himself alone shook his head. He, like Nedda, had known nothing, and there was to him something unnatural and rather awful in this conduct toward dumb crops.

For the first two days of this new 'kick-up,' that 'guy Freeland's' family definitely enjoyed the benefits of a successful rebellion. He, like Nedda, had no idea what was going on, and to him, there was something unnatural and somewhat terrifying about this treatment of the silent crops.

From the moment he heard of it he hardly spoke, and a perpetual little frown creased a brow usually so serene. In the early morning of the day after Malloring went back to town, he crossed the road to a field where the farmer, aided by his family and one of Malloring's gardeners, was already carrying the hay; and, taking up a pitchfork, without a word to anybody, he joined in the work. The action was deeper revelation of his feeling than any expostulation, and the young people watched it rather aghast.

From the moment he heard about it, he barely spoke, and a constant little frown creased his usually calm forehead. On the early morning after Malloring returned to town, he crossed the road to a field where the farmer, with help from his family and one of Malloring's gardeners, was already gathering hay. Without saying a word to anyone, he picked up a pitchfork and joined in the work. This action revealed his feelings more than any words could, and the young people watched in shock.

“It's nothing,” Derek said at last; “Father never has understood, and never will, that you can't get things without fighting. He cares more for trees and bees and birds than he does for human beings.”

“It's nothing,” Derek finally said; “Dad never understood, and never will, that you can't get things without putting up a fight. He cares more about trees, bees, and birds than he does about people.”

“That doesn't explain why he goes over to the enemy, when it's only a lot of grass.”

“That doesn't explain why he goes over to the enemy when it's just a bunch of grass.”

Kirsteen answered:

Kirsteen replied:

“He hasn't gone over to the enemy, Sheila. You don't understand your father; to neglect the land is sacrilege to him. It feeds us—he would say—we live on it; we've no business to forget that but for the land we should all be dead.”

“He hasn't turned against us, Sheila. You don’t understand your father; ignoring the land is a serious offense to him. It provides for us—he would say—we depend on it; we shouldn’t forget that without the land, we’d all be dead.”

“That's beautiful,” said Nedda quickly; “and true.”

"That's beautiful," Nedda quickly replied; "and true."

Sheila answered angrily:

Sheila snapped back:

“It may be true in France with their bread and wine. People don't live off the land here; they hardly eat anything they grow themselves. How can we feel like that when we're all brought up on mongrel food? Besides, it's simply sentimental, when there are real wrongs to fight about.”

“It might be true in France with their bread and wine. People don’t live off the land here; they hardly eat anything they grow themselves. How can we feel that way when we’re all raised on mixed food? Besides, it’s just sentimental, when there are real issues to address.”

“Your father is not sentimental, Sheila. It's too deep with him for that, and too unconscious. He simply feels so unhappy about the waste of that hay that he can't keep his hands off it.”

“Your dad isn’t sentimental, Sheila. It runs too deep for that and stays too hidden. He just feels so unhappy about wasting that hay that he can’t help but get involved with it.”

Derek broke in: “Mother's right. And it doesn't matter, except that we've got to see that the men don't follow his example. They've a funny feeling about him.”

Derek interrupted, “Mom's right. And it doesn’t really matter, except we need to make sure the guys don’t follow his lead. They have a weird vibe about him.”

Kirsteen shook her head.

Kirsteen shook her head.

“You needn't be afraid. He's always been too strange to them!”

“You don’t need to be scared. He’s always been too weird for them!”

“Well, I'm going to stiffen their backs. Coming Sheila?” And they went.

“Well, I’m going to toughen them up. You coming, Sheila?” And they left.

Left, as she seemed always to be in these days of open mutiny, Nedda said sadly:

Left, as she always seemed to be in these days of open rebellion, Nedda said sadly:

“What is coming, Aunt Kirsteen?”

"What’s coming, Aunt Kirsteen?"

Her aunt was standing in the porch, looking straight before her; a trail of clematis had drooped over her fine black hair down on to the blue of her linen dress. She answered, without turning:

Her aunt was standing on the porch, looking straight ahead; a trail of clematis had drooped over her fine black hair onto the blue of her linen dress. She answered without turning:

“Have you ever seen, on jubilee nights, bonfire to bonfire, from hill to hill, to the end of the land? This is the first lighted.”

“Have you ever seen, on celebration nights, bonfire to bonfire, from hill to hill, to the end of the land? This is the first lit one.”

Nedda felt something clutch her heart. What was that figure in blue? Priestess? Prophetess? And for a moment the girl felt herself swept into the vision those dark glowing eyes were seeing; some violent, exalted, inexorable, flaming vision. Then something within her revolted, as though one had tried to hypnotize her into seeing what was not true; as though she had been forced for the moment to look, not at what was really there, but at what those eyes saw projected from the soul behind them. And she said quietly:

Nedda felt a tightness in her chest. What was that figure in blue? Priestess? Prophetess? For a moment, the girl felt herself drawn into the intense, fiery vision those dark, glowing eyes were perceiving; some violent, exalted, unavoidable scene. Then something inside her pushed back, as if someone had tried to hypnotize her into seeing things that weren't real; as though she had been momentarily compelled to look, not at what was actually there, but at what those eyes were projecting from the soul behind them. And she said quietly:

“I don't believe, Aunt Kirsteen. I don't really believe. I think it must go out.”

“I don't believe it, Aunt Kirsteen. I honestly don't believe it. I think it must go out.”

Kirsteen turned.

Kirsteen turned around.

“You are like your father,” she said—“a doubter.”

“You're just like your dad,” she said—“a skeptic.”

Nedda shook her head.

Nedda shook her head.

“I can't persuade myself to see what isn't there. I never can, Aunt Kirsteen.”

“I can’t convince myself to see what’s not there. I never can, Aunt Kirsteen.”

Without reply, save a quiver of her brows, Kirsteen went back into the house. And Nedda stayed on the pebbled path before the cottage, unhappy, searching her own soul. Did she fail to see because she was afraid to see, because she was too dull to see; or because, as she had said, there was really nothing there—no flames to leap from hill to hill, no lift, no tearing in the sky that hung over the land? And she thought: 'London—all those big towns, their smoke, the things they make, the things we want them to make, that we shall always want them to make. Aren't they there? For every laborer who's a slave Dad says there are five town workers who are just as much slaves! And all those Bigwigs with their great houses, and their talk, and their interest in keeping things where they are! Aren't they there? I don't—I can't believe anything much can happen, or be changed. Oh! I shall never see visions, and dream dreams!' And from her heart she sighed.

Without responding, except for a slight furrow of her brows, Kirsteen went back into the house. Nedda remained on the pebble path in front of the cottage, feeling unhappy and searching within herself. Was she unable to see because she was scared to, because she was too dim-witted, or because, as she had said, there really was nothing there—no flames jumping from hill to hill, no uplift, no rips in the sky hanging over the land? And she thought: 'London—all those big cities, their smoke, the things they produce, the things we wish they would produce, that we will always want them to produce. Aren't they real? For every worker who's a slave, Dad says there are five town workers who are just as much slaves! And all those big shots with their huge houses, their chatter, and their desire to keep things as they are! Aren't they there? I don't—I can't believe anything significant can happen or be changed. Oh! I will never see visions or dream dreams!' And she sighed from the depth of her heart.

In the meantime Derek and Sheila were going their round on bicycles, to stiffen the backs of the laborers. They had hunted lately, always in a couple, desiring no complications, having decided that it was less likely to provoke definite assault and opposition from the farmers. To their mother was assigned all correspondence; to themselves the verbal exhortations, the personal touch. It was past noon, and they were already returning, when they came on the char-a-bancs containing the head of the strike-breaking column. The two vehicles were drawn up opposite the gate leading to Marrow Farm, and the agent was detaching the four men destined to that locality, with their camping-gear. By the open gate the farmer stood eying his new material askance. Dejected enough creatures they looked—poor devils picked up at ten pound the dozen, who, by the mingled apathy and sheepish amusement on their faces, might never have seen a pitchfork, or smelled a field of clover, in their lives.

In the meantime, Derek and Sheila were biking around to boost the morale of the workers. They had been out hunting recently, always as a pair to avoid any complications, believing it would be less likely to provoke a direct attack or backlash from the farmers. Their mother handled all the correspondence; they took care of the motivational talks and personal engagement. It was past noon, and they were on their way back when they encountered the char-a-bancs carrying the head of the strike-breaking crew. The two vehicles were parked in front of the gate leading to Marrow Farm, and the agent was unloading the four men headed to that area, along with their camping gear. By the open gate, the farmer stood watching the new arrivals with suspicion. They looked like pretty miserable guys—poor souls hired at ten pounds a dozen, who, judging by the mix of indifference and awkward amusement on their faces, might never have seen a pitchfork or smelled a field of clover in their lives.

The two young Freelands rode slowly past; the boy's face scornfully drawn back into itself; the girl's flaming scarlet.

The two young Freelands rode slowly by; the boy's face twisted in disdain, while the girl's was bright red.

“Don't take notice,” Derek said; “we'll soon stop that.”

“Don’t pay attention,” Derek said; “we’ll take care of that soon.”

And they had gone another mile before he added:

And they had gone another mile before he said:

“We've got to make our round again; that's all.”

“We need to make our rounds again; that’s it.”

The words of Mr. Pogram, 'You have influence, young man,' were just. There was about Derek the sort of quality that belongs to the good regimental officer; men followed and asked themselves why the devil they had, afterward. And if it be said that no worse leader than a fiery young fool can be desired for any movement, it may also be said that without youth and fire and folly there is usually no movement at all.

The words of Mr. Pogram, "You have influence, young man," were true. Derek had that quality typical of a good regimental officer; men followed him and later wondered what had gotten into them. And while it can be argued that no one is a worse leader than a hotheaded young fool for any cause, it's also true that without youth, passion, and a bit of craziness, there's often no movement to begin with.

Late in the afternoon they returned home, dead beat. That evening the farmers and their wives milked the cows, tended the horses, did everything that must be done, not without curses. And next morning the men, with Gaunt and a big, dark fellow, called Tulley, for spokesmen, again proffered their demand. The agent took counsel with Malloring by wire. His answer, “Concede nothing,” was communicated to the men in the afternoon, and received by Gaunt with the remark: “I thart we should be hearin' that. Please to thank Sir Gerald. The men concedes their gratitood....”

Late in the afternoon, they returned home, exhausted. That evening, the farmers and their wives milked the cows, took care of the horses, and did everything that needed to be done, not without some grumbling. The next morning, the men, along with Gaunt and a big, dark guy named Tulley as their spokesmen, brought up their demands again. The agent consulted with Malloring over the phone. His response, “Concede nothing,” was relayed to the men in the afternoon, and Gaunt reacted with the remark: “I thought we’d be hearing that. Please thank Sir Gerald. The men express their gratitude....”

That night it began to rain. Nedda, waking, could hear the heavy drops pattering on the sweetbrier and clematis thatching her open window. The scent of rain-cooled leaves came in drifts, and it seemed a shame to sleep. She got up; put on her dressing-gown, and went to thrust her nose into that bath of dripping sweetness. Dark as the clouds had made the night, there was still the faint light of a moon somewhere behind. The leaves of the fruit-trees joined in the long, gentle hissing, and now and again rustled and sighed sharply; a cock somewhere, as by accident, let off a single crow. There were no stars. All was dark and soft as velvet. And Nedda thought: 'The world is dressed in living creatures! Trees, flowers, grass, insects, ourselves—woven together—the world is dressed in life! I understand Uncle Tod's feeling! If only it would rain till they have to send these strike-breakers back because there's no hay worth fighting about!' Suddenly her heart beat fast. The wicket gate had clicked. There was something darker than the darkness coming along the path! Scared, but with all protective instinct roused, she leaned out, straining to see. A faint grating sound from underneath came up to her. A window being opened! And she flew to her door. She neither barred it, however, nor cried out, for in that second it had flashed across her: 'Suppose it's he! Gone out to do something desperate, as Tryst did!' If it were, he would come up-stairs and pass her door, going to his room. She opened it an inch, holding her breath. At first, nothing! Was it fancy? Or was some one noiselessly rifling the room down-stairs? But surely no one would steal of Uncle Tod, who, everybody knew, had nothing valuable. Then came a sound as of bootless feet pressing the stairs stealthily! And the thought darted through her, 'If it isn't he, what shall I do?' And then—'What shall I do—if it IS!'

That night it started to rain. Nedda, waking up, could hear the heavy raindrops pattering on the sweetbriar and clematis outside her open window. The scent of rain-soaked leaves wafted in, and it felt wrong to sleep. She got up, put on her robe, and went to inhale that refreshing smell. Even though the clouds had darkened the night, there was still a faint light of the moon peeking through somewhere. The leaves of the fruit trees added to the soft, gentle sound of the rain, rustling and sighing every now and then; a rooster somewhere, almost by chance, let out a single crow. There were no stars. Everything was dark and soft like velvet. Nedda thought: 'The world is filled with living things! Trees, flowers, grass, insects, us—intertwined—the world is alive! I get Uncle Tod's feelings! If only it would rain so much that they would have to send these strike-breakers back because there's no hay worth fighting over!' Suddenly, her heart raced. The wicket gate clicked. Something darker than the darkness was coming along the path! Scared but instinctively protective, she leaned out, straining to see. A faint scraping sound from below reached her. A window was being opened! And she rushed to her door. However, she didn’t lock it or shout out, because in that moment, it struck her: 'What if it's him! Out doing something reckless, like Tryst did!' If it were him, he would come upstairs and pass by her door on his way to his room. She opened it just an inch, holding her breath. At first, nothing! Was it just her imagination? Or was someone quietly searching the room downstairs? But surely no one would steal from Uncle Tod, who everyone knew had nothing of value. Then she heard a sound of bare feet quietly stepping on the stairs! And the thought shot through her: 'If it isn't him, what should I do?' And then—'What should I do if it IS!'

Desperately she opened the door, clasping her hands on the place whence her heart had slipped down to her bare feet. But she knew it was he before she heard him whisper: “Nedda!” and, clutching him by the sleeve, she drew him in and closed the door. He was wet through, dripping; so wet that the mere brushing against him made her skin feel moist through its thin coverings.

Desperately, she opened the door, clutching her hands to where her heart had dropped to her bare feet. But she knew it was him before she heard him whisper, “Nedda!” and, grabbing him by the sleeve, she pulled him inside and closed the door. He was soaked, dripping; so wet that just brushing against him made her skin feel damp beneath its thin layers.

“Where have you been? What have you been doing? Oh, Derek!”

“Where have you been? What have you been up to? Oh, Derek!”

There was just light enough to see his face, his teeth, the whites of his eyes.

There was just enough light to see his face, his teeth, and the whites of his eyes.

“Cutting their tent-ropes in the rain. Hooroosh!”

“Cutting their tent ropes in the rain. Hooroosh!”

It was such a relief that she just let out a little gasping “Oh!” and leaned her forehead against his coat. Then she felt his wet arms round her, his wet body pressed to hers, and in a second he was dancing with her a sort of silent, ecstatic war dance. Suddenly he stopped, went down on his knees, pressing his face to her waist, and whispering: “What a brute, what a brute! Making her wet! Poor little Nedda!”

It was such a relief that she let out a small gasping “Oh!” and leaned her forehead against his coat. Then she felt his wet arms around her, his wet body pressed against hers, and in an instant, he was dancing with her in a sort of silent, ecstatic war dance. Suddenly he stopped, knelt down, pressing his face to her waist, and whispered: “What a brute, what a brute! Making her wet! Poor little Nedda!”

Nedda bent over him; her hair covered his wet head, her hands trembled on his shoulders. Her heart felt as if it would melt right out of her; she longed so to warm and dry him with herself. And, in turn, his wet arms clutched her close, his wet hands could not keep still on her. Then he drew back, and whispering: “Oh, Nedda! Nedda!” fled out like a dark ghost. Oblivious that she was damp from head to foot, Nedda stood swaying, her eyes closed and her lips just open; then, putting out her arms, she drew them suddenly in and clasped herself....

Nedda leaned over him; her hair covered his soaked head, her hands shook on his shoulders. Her heart felt like it might just melt away; she desperately wanted to warm and dry him with her own body. In response, his wet arms held her tightly, and his wet hands kept moving over her. Then he pulled back, whispering, “Oh, Nedda! Nedda!” before rushing out like a dark ghost. Not realizing she was soaked through, Nedda stood swaying, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted; then, reaching out her arms, she pulled them in suddenly and hugged herself....

When she came down to breakfast the next morning, he had gone out already, and Uncle Tod, too; her aunt was writing at the bureau. Sheila greeted her gruffly, and almost at once went out. Nedda swallowed coffee, ate her egg, and bread and honey, with a heavy heart. A newspaper lay open on the table; she read it idly till these words caught her eye:

When she came down for breakfast the next morning, he was already gone, along with Uncle Tod; her aunt was writing at the desk. Sheila greeted her gruffly and almost immediately went outside. Nedda sipped her coffee, ate her egg, and had some bread and honey, feeling downcast. A newspaper was open on the table; she scanned it absently until these words grabbed her attention:

“The revolt which has paralyzed the hay harvest on Sir Gerald Malloring's Worcestershire estate and led to the introduction of strike-breakers, shows no sign of abatement. A very wanton spirit of mischief seems to be abroad in this neighborhood. No reason can be ascertained for the arson committed a short time back, nor for this further outbreak of discontent. The economic condition of the laborers on this estate is admittedly rather above than below the average.”

“The strike that has stopped the hay harvest on Sir Gerald Malloring's Worcestershire estate and brought in strike-breakers shows no signs of letting up. There's a troubling spirit of unrest in this area. No explanation can be found for the arson that occurred recently, nor for this new wave of discontent. The economic situation of the workers on this estate is generally considered to be slightly better than the average.”

And at once she thought: '“Mischief!” What a shame!' Were people, then, to know nothing of the real cause of the revolt—nothing of the Tryst eviction, the threatened eviction of the Gaunts? Were they not to know that it was on principle, and to protest against that sort of petty tyranny to the laborers all over the country, that this rebellion had been started? For liberty! only simple liberty not to be treated as though they had no minds or souls of their own—weren't the public to know that? If they were allowed to think that it was all wanton mischief—that Derek was just a mischief-maker—it would be dreadful! Some one must write and make this known? Her father? But Dad might think it too personal—his own relations! Mr. Cuthcott! Into whose household Wilmet Gaunt had gone. Ah! Mr. Cuthcott who had told her that he was always at her service! Why not? And the thought that she might really do something at last to help made her tingle all over. If she borrowed Sheila's bicycle she could catch the nine-o'clock train to London, see him herself, make him do something, perhaps even bring him back with her! She examined her purse. Yes, she had money. She would say nothing, here, because, of course, he might refuse! At the back of her mind was the idea that, if a real newspaper took the part of the laborers, Derek's position would no longer be so dangerous; he would be, as it were, legally recognized, and that, in itself, would make him more careful and responsible. Whence she got this belief in the legalizing power of the press it is difficult to say, unless that, reading newspapers but seldom, she still took them at their own valuation, and thought that when they said: “We shall do this,” or “We must do that,” they really were speaking for the country, and that forty-five millions of people were deliberately going to do something, whereas, in truth, as was known to those older than Nedda, they were speaking, and not too conclusively at that, for single anonymous gentlemen in a hurry who were not going to do anything. She knew that the press had power, great power—for she was always hearing that—and it had not occurred to her as yet to examine the composition of that power so as to discover that, while the press certainly had a certain monopoly of expression, and that same 'spirit of body' which makes police constables swear by one another, it yet contained within its ring fence the sane and advisable futility of a perfectly balanced contradiction; so that its only functions, practically speaking, were the dissemination of news, seven-tenths of which would have been happier in obscurity; and—'irritation of the Dutch!' Not, of course, that the press realized this; nor was it probable that any one would tell it, for it had power—great power.

And immediately she thought, “What a shame! How careless!” Were people really going to remain completely unaware of the real reason behind the revolt—no knowledge of the Tryst eviction, the Gaunts' potential eviction? Were they meant to believe that this uprising was purely based on principle, to stand up against the petty tyranny faced by laborers nationwide? For freedom! Just basic freedom not to be treated like they didn't have minds or souls of their own—was the public not going to know that? If they were made to think it was all just senseless trouble—that Derek was merely a troublemaker—it would be terrible! Someone needed to write and spread the word. Her father? But Dad might see it as too personal—since it involved his own connections! Mr. Cuthcott! The person into whose home Wilmet Gaunt had moved. Ah! Mr. Cuthcott who told her he was always there to help! Why not? The thought that she could finally do something to help made her tingle with excitement. If she borrowed Sheila's bike, she could catch the nine o'clock train to London, meet him in person, push him to take action, maybe even bring him back with her! She checked her purse. Yes, she had money. She wouldn’t mention anything here because, of course, he might refuse! In the back of her mind was the idea that if a real newspaper supported the laborers, Derek's situation wouldn’t be as dangerous; he would be recognized, in a way, and that would make him more careful and responsible. It's hard to pinpoint where this belief in the press's power to legitimize came from, unless it stemmed from the fact that, though she read newspapers infrequently, she still took them at face value, believing that when they said, “We will do this,” or “We must do that,” they were genuinely representing the country, and that forty-five million people were intentionally planning to take action, when in reality, as those older than Nedda knew, they were speaking, and not very convincingly at that, for a few anonymous people in a rush who weren't going to do anything. She understood that the press had power—great power—because she often heard about it, and it hadn’t occurred to her yet to scrutinize what that power really included. While the press clearly held a certain monopoly on expression, and had that same “spirit of unity” that made police officers back each other up, it also captured the reasonable and sensible futility of a perfectly balanced contradiction; meaning its main functions were basically spreading news, seven-tenths of which would have been better off kept in the dark; and—‘poking the Dutch!’ Not that the press understood this; nor would anyone likely inform it, since it wielded power—great power.

She caught her train—glowing outwardly from the speed of her ride, and inwardly from the heat of adventure and the thought that at last she was being of some use.

She caught her train—shining from the speed of her ride, and filled with excitement from the thrill of adventure and the realization that she was finally being useful.

The only other occupants of her third-class compartment were a friendly looking man, who might have been a sailor or other wanderer on leave, and his thin, dried-up, black-clothed cottage woman of an old mother. They sat opposite each other. The son looked at his mother with beaming eyes, and she remarked: “An' I says to him, says I, I says, 'What?' I says; so 'e says to me, he says, 'Yes,' he says; 'that's what I say,' he says.” And Nedda thought: 'What an old dear! And the son looks nice too; I do like simple people.'

The only other people in her third-class compartment were a friendly-looking guy who could’ve been a sailor or some other traveler on leave, and his thin, dried-up mother dressed in black. They were sitting across from each other. The son looked at his mother with bright eyes, and she said, “And I told him, I said, ‘What?’ So he said to me, he said, ‘Yes,’ that’s what I say,” he said.” And Nedda thought: 'What a sweet old lady! And the son seems nice too; I really like down-to-earth people.'

They got out at the first stop and she journeyed on alone. Taking a taxicab from Paddington, she drove toward Gray's Inn. But now that she was getting close she felt very nervous. How expect a busy man like Mr. Cuthcott to spare time to come down all that way? It would be something, though, if she could get him even to understand what was really happening, and why; so that he could contradict that man in the other paper. It must be wonderful to be writing, daily, what thousands and thousands of people read! Yes! It must be a very sacred-feeling life! To be able to say things in that particularly authoritative way which must take such a lot of people in—that is, make such a lot of people think in the same way! It must give a man a terrible sense of responsibility, make him feel that he simply must be noble, even if he naturally wasn't. Yes! it must be a wonderful profession, and only fit for the highest! In addition to Mr. Cuthcott, she knew as yet but three young journalists, and those all weekly.

They got out at the first stop and she continued on alone. Taking a taxi from Paddington, she headed towards Gray's Inn. But as she got closer, she started to feel really nervous. How could a busy man like Mr. Cuthcott find time to come all the way down? It would be something if she could even get him to understand what was really happening and why, so he could contradict that guy in the other paper. It must be amazing to be writing every day, knowing that thousands of people read what you write! Yes! It must be a life full of meaning! Being able to express things in that particular authoritative way, which must really sway a lot of people—that is, make so many think alike! It must give a person an immense sense of responsibility, making him feel like he has to be noble, even if he naturally wasn't. Yes! It must be a fantastic profession, suited only for the best! Besides Mr. Cuthcott, she only knew three young journalists who were all weekly writers.

At her timid ring the door was opened by a broad-cheeked girl, enticingly compact in apron and black frock, whose bright color, thick lips, and rogue eyes came of anything but London. It flashed across Nedda that this must be the girl for whose sake she had faced Mr. Cuthcott at the luncheon-table! And she said: “Are you Wilmet Gaunt?”

At her shy ring, the door was opened by a girl with full cheeks, attractively dressed in an apron and a black dress. Her vibrant complexion, full lips, and mischievous eyes looked anything but London. It dawned on Nedda that this must be the girl she had stood up to Mr. Cuthcott for at the lunch table! So, she asked, “Are you Wilmet Gaunt?”

The girl smiled till her eyes almost disappeared, and answered: “Yes, miss.”

The girl smiled so much her eyes almost vanished, and replied, “Yeah, miss.”

“I'm Nedda Freeland, Miss Sheila's cousin. I've just come from Joyfields. How are you getting on?”

“I'm Nedda Freeland, Miss Sheila's cousin. I just came from Joyfields. How are you doing?”

“Fine, thank you, miss. Plenty of life here.”

“Sure, thank you, miss. Lots of life here.”

Nedda thought: 'That's what Derek said of her. Bursting with life! And so she is.' And she gazed doubtfully at the girl, whose prim black dress and apron seemed scarcely able to contain her.

Nedda thought, 'That's what Derek said about her. Full of life! And she really is.' She looked at the girl with uncertainty, whose neat black dress and apron seemed barely able to contain her.

“Is Mr. Cuthcott in?”

“Is Mr. Cuthcott available?”

“No, miss; he'll be down at the paper. Two hundred and five Floodgate Street.”

“No, miss; he’ll be down at the office. 205 Floodgate Street.”

'Oh!' thought Nedda with dismay; 'I shall never venture there!' And glancing once more at the girl, whose rogue slits of eyes, deep sunk between check-bones and brow, seemed to be quizzing her and saying: 'You and Mr. Derek—oh! I know!' she went sadly away. And first she thought she would go home to Hampstead, then that she would go back to the station, then: 'After all, why shouldn't I go and try? They can't eat me. I will!'

'Oh!' thought Nedda with worry; 'I’ll never go there!' And glancing again at the girl, whose sly eyes, set deep between her cheekbones and brow, seemed to be teasing her and saying: 'You and Mr. Derek—oh! I know!' she left feeling down. At first, she considered going home to Hampstead, then thought about heading back to the station, and finally decided: 'After all, why shouldn’t I go and give it a shot? They can’t hurt me. I will!'

She reached her destination at the luncheon-hour, so that the offices of the great evening journal were somewhat deserted. Producing her card, she was passed from hand to hand till she rested in a small bleak apartment where a young woman was typing fast. She longed to ask her how she liked it, but did not dare. The whole atmosphere seemed to her charged with a strenuous solemnity, as though everything said, 'We have power—great power.' And she waited, sitting by the window which faced the street. On the buildings opposite she could read the name of another great evening journal. Why, it was the one which had contained the paragraph she had read at breakfast! She had bought a copy of it at the station. Its temperament, she knew, was precisely opposed to that of Mr. Cuthcott's paper. Over in that building, no doubt there would be the same strenuously loaded atmosphere, so that if they opened the windows on both sides little puffs of power would meet in mid-air, above the heads of the passers-by, as might the broadsides of old three-deckers, above the green, green sea.

She arrived at her destination during lunch hour, so the offices of the big evening newspaper were fairly empty. After showing her card, she was passed around until she ended up in a small, dreary room where a young woman was typing quickly. She wanted to ask her how she liked it, but didn’t have the courage. The whole environment felt intensely serious, as if everything was saying, 'We have power—real power.' She waited, sitting by the window that faced the street. Across the way, she could see the name of another big evening newspaper. It was the one that had the article she read at breakfast! She had picked up a copy at the station. She knew its vibe was completely different from Mr. Cuthcott's paper. In that building, it was probably just as charged with energy, so if they opened the windows on both sides, little puffs of power would collide in the air above the heads of people passing by, like broadsides from old battleships above the vast, blue sea.

And for the first time an inkling of the great comic equipoise in Floodgate Street and human affairs stole on Nedda's consciousness. They puffed and puffed, and only made smoke in the middle! That must be why Dad always called them: 'Those fellows!' She had scarcely, however, finished beginning to think these thoughts when a handbell sounded sharply in some adjoining room, and the young woman nearly fell into her typewriter. Readjusting her balance, she rose, and, going to the door, passed out in haste. Through the open doorway Nedda could see a large and pleasant room, whose walls seemed covered with prints of men standing in attitudes such that she was almost sure they were statesmen; and, at a table in the centre, the back of Mr. Cuthcott in a twiddly chair, surrounded by sheets of paper reposing on the floor, shining like autumn leaves on a pool of water. She heard his voice, smothery, hurried, but still pleasant, say: “Take these, Miss Mayne, take these! Begin on them, begin! Confound it! What's the time?” And the young woman's voice: “Half past one, Mr. Cuthcott!” And a noise from Mr. Cuthcott's throat that sounded like an adjuration to the Deity not to pass over something. Then the young woman dipped and began gathering those leaves of paper, and over her comely back Nedda had a clear view of Mr. Cuthcott hunching one brown shoulder as though warding something off, and of one of his thin hands ploughing up and throwing back his brown hair on one side, and heard the sound of his furiously scratching pen. And her heart pattered; it was so clear that he was 'giving them one' and had no time for her. And involuntarily she looked at the windows beyond him to see if there were any puffs of power issuing therefrom. But they were closed. She saw the young woman rise and come back toward her, putting the sheets of paper in order; and, as the door was closing, from the twiddly chair a noise that seemed to couple God with the condemnation of silly souls. When the young woman was once more at the typewriter she rose and said: “Have you given him my card yet?”

And for the first time, a sense of the big comic balance in Floodgate Street and human affairs dawned on Nedda. They huffed and puffed but only created smoke in the middle! That must be why Dad always called them: 'Those guys!' Just as she started to think these thoughts, a handbell rang sharply from a nearby room, causing the young woman to almost topple into her typewriter. Regaining her balance, she stood up and quickly went to the door. Through the open doorway, Nedda could see a large, inviting room, its walls seemingly covered with prints of men posed in ways that made her almost certain they were statesmen. At a table in the center, she saw Mr. Cuthcott's back in a squeaky chair, surrounded by sheets of paper scattered on the floor, gleaming like autumn leaves on a pool of water. She heard his voice, thick and hurried, yet still pleasant, say: “Take these, Miss Mayne, take these! Start on them, come on! What's the time?” And the young woman's voice replied: “Half past one, Mr. Cuthcott!” Then Mr. Cuthcott made a noise that sounded like he was pleading with God about something. The young woman started picking up the papers, and over her attractive back, Nedda had a clear view of Mr. Cuthcott hunching one brown shoulder as if trying to shield himself from something, and one of his thin hands pulling back his brown hair on one side, while she heard the furious scratching of his pen. Her heart raced; it was obvious he was 'in the zone’ and had no time for her. Without thinking, she glanced at the windows behind him to see if any signs of power were escaping from there. But they were closed. She saw the young woman get up and return toward her, organizing the sheets of paper. As the door was closing, there came a sound from the squeaky chair that seemed to connect God with the condemnation of foolish souls. Once the young woman was back at the typewriter, Nedda stood up and asked: “Have you given him my card yet?”

The young woman looked at her surprised, as if she had broken some rule of etiquette, and answered: “No.”

The young woman looked at her in surprise, as if she had broken some kind of social rule, and replied: “No.”

“Then don't, please. I can see that he's too busy. I won't wait.”

“Then don’t, please. I can tell he’s too busy. I won’t wait.”

The young woman abstractedly placed a sheet of paper in her typewriter.

The young woman absentmindedly put a sheet of paper in her typewriter.

“Very well,” she said. “Good morning!”

“Sure thing,” she said. “Good morning!”

And before Nedda reached the door she heard the click-click of the machine, reducing Mr. Cuthcott to legibility.

And before Nedda reached the door, she heard the click-click of the machine, making Mr. Cuthcott readable.

'I was stupid to come,' she thought. 'He must be terribly overworked. Poor man! He does say lovely things!' And, crestfallen, she went along the passages, and once more out into Floodgate Street. She walked along it frowning, till a man who was selling newspapers said as she passed: “Mind ye don't smile, lydy!”

'I was foolish to come,' she thought. 'He must be completely swamped with work. Poor guy! He really does say nice things!' Feeling down, she walked through the hallways and back out onto Floodgate Street. She strolled along, frowning, until a man selling newspapers called out as she walked by: “Don't forget to smile, miss!”

Seeing that he was selling Mr. Cuthcott's paper, she felt for a coin to buy one, and, while searching, scrutinized the newsvender's figure, almost entirely hidden by the words:

Seeing that he was selling Mr. Cuthcott's paper, she reached for a coin to buy one and, while searching, looked closely at the newsvendor's figure, almost completely obscured by the words:

      GREAT HOUSING SCHEME

      HOPE FOR THE MILLION!
      GREAT HOUSING SCHEME

      HOPE FOR A MILLION PEOPLE!

on a buff-colored board; while above it, his face, that had not quite blood enough to be scorbutic, was wrapped in the expression of those philosophers to whom a hope would be fatal. He was, in fact, just what he looked—a street stoic. And a dim perception of the great social truth: “The smell of half a loaf is not better than no bread!” flickered in Nedda's brain as she passed on. Was that what Derek was doing with the laborers—giving them half the smell of a liberty that was not there? And a sudden craving for her father came over her. He—he only, was any good, because he, only, loved her enough to feel how distracted and unhappy she was feeling, how afraid of what was coming. So, making for a Tube station, she took train to Hampstead....

on a tan-colored board; while above it, his face, which lacked enough color to suggest illness, was set in the expression of those philosophers for whom hope could be devastating. He was, quite simply, just what he appeared to be—a street stoic. A vague understanding of the harsh social reality: “The smell of half a loaf is not better than no bread!” flickered in Nedda's mind as she walked by. Was that what Derek was doing with the laborers—giving them a taste of a freedom that didn’t exist? A sudden longing for her father washed over her. He—only he—was truly good, because he alone loved her enough to recognize how troubled and unhappy she felt, how scared she was of what was to come. So, heading for a Tube station, she took the train to Hampstead....

It was past two, and Felix, on the point of his constitutional. He had left Becket the day after Nedda's rather startling removal to Joyfields, and since then had done his level best to put the whole Tryst affair, with all its somewhat sinister relevance to her life and his own, out of his mind as something beyond control. He had but imperfectly succeeded.

It was after two, and Felix was about to go for his walk. He had left Becket the day after Nedda's surprising move to Joyfields, and since then, he had tried his best to forget the whole Tryst situation, with all its rather dark connections to her life and his own, as something he couldn't control. He hadn't fully succeeded.

Flora, herself not too present-minded, had in these days occasion to speak to him about the absent-minded way in which he fulfilled even the most domestic duties, and Alan was always saying to him, “Buck up, Dad!” With Nedda's absorption into the little Joyfields whirlpool, the sun shone but dimly for Felix. And a somewhat febrile attention to 'The Last of the Laborers' had not brought it up to his expectations. He fluttered under his buff waistcoat when he saw her coming in at the gate. She must want something of him! For to this pitch of resignation, as to his little daughter's love for him, had he come! And if she wanted something of him, things would be going wrong again down there! Nor did the warmth of her embrace, and her: “Oh! Dad, it IS nice to see you!” remove that instinctive conviction; though delicacy, born of love, forbade him to ask her what she wanted. Talking of the sky and other matters, thinking how pretty she was looking, he waited for the new, inevitable proof that youth was first, and a mere father only second fiddle now. A note from Stanley had already informed him of the strike. The news had been something of a relief. Strikes, at all events, were respectable and legitimate means of protest, and to hear that one was in progress had not forced him out of his laborious attempt to believe the whole affair only a mole-hill. He had not, however, heard of the strike-breakers, nor had he seen any newspaper mention of the matter; and when she had shown him the paragraph; recounted her visit to Mr. Cuthcott, and how she had wanted to take him back with her to see for himself—he waited a moment, then said almost timidly: “Should I be of any use, my dear?” She flushed and squeezed his hand in silence; and he knew he would.

Flora, who wasn’t exactly the most attentive person, had recently talked to him about the absent-minded way he handled even the simplest chores, and Alan was always saying to him, “Come on, Dad!” With Nedda getting lost in the little Joyfields chaos, things were looking pretty gloomy for Felix. His somewhat distracted focus on 'The Last of the Laborers' hadn’t lived up to his hopes. He felt a flutter under his buff waistcoat when he saw her walking in at the gate. She must want something from him! He had reached this point of acceptance regarding his little daughter’s affection for him! If she needed something, it likely meant trouble down there again! The warmth of her hug and her exclamation, “Oh! Dad, it’s so nice to see you!” didn’t shake that gut feeling; though out of love, he held back from asking her what she needed. As they chatted about the sky and other topics, admiring how pretty she looked, he braced himself for the new, unavoidable realization that youth came first, and he was just second in line now. He had already received a note from Stanley informing him about the strike. The news had actually been a bit of a relief. Strikes, at least, were a respectable and legitimate way to protest, and hearing that one was happening hadn’t forced him to abandon his laborious attempt to downplay the whole situation. However, he hadn’t heard about the strike-breakers, nor had he seen any mention in the newspapers; and when she showed him the article, shared her visit to Mr. Cuthcott, and how she had wanted to bring him back to see for himself—he hesitated for a moment, then asked almost shyly: “Do you think I could be of any help, my dear?” She blushed and squeezed his hand in silence; and he knew he would be.

When he had packed a handbag and left a note for Flora, he rejoined her in the hall.

When he finished packing a bag and left a note for Flora, he went back to join her in the hallway.

It was past seven when they reached their destination, and, taking the station 'fly,' drove slowly up to Joyfields, under a showery sky.

It was after seven when they arrived at their destination, and, taking the station cab, they drove slowly up to Joyfields under a drizzly sky.





CHAPTER XXIX

When Felix and Nedda reached Tod's cottage, the three little Trysts, whose activity could never be quite called play, were all the living creatures about the house.

When Felix and Nedda got to Tod's cottage, the three little Trysts, whose actions could never really be considered play, were the only living beings around the house.

“Where is Mrs. Freeland, Biddy?”

"Where's Mrs. Freeland, Biddy?"

“We don't know; a man came, and she went.”

“We don’t know; a guy showed up, and she left.”

“And Miss Sheila?”

"And what about Miss Sheila?"

“She went out in the mornin'. And Mr. Freeland's gone.”

“She went out in the morning. And Mr. Freeland's gone.”

Susie added: “The dog's gone, too.”

Susie added, “The dog's gone, too.”

“Then help me to get some tea.”

“Then help me get some tea.”

“Yes.”

"Yeah."

With the assistance of the mother-child, and the hindrance of Susie and Billy, Nedda made and laid tea, with an anxious heart. The absence of her aunt, who so seldom went outside the cottage, fields, and orchard, disturbed her; and, while Felix refreshed himself, she fluttered several times on varying pretexts to the wicket gate.

With the help of the mother and child, and with Susie and Billy getting in the way, Nedda prepared and served tea, feeling anxious. She was unsettled by her aunt's absence, as she rarely left the cottage, fields, and orchard. While Felix took a break, she found herself making several excuses to go to the wicket gate.

At her third visit, from the direction of the church, she saw figures coming on the road—dark figures carrying something, followed by others walking alongside. What sun there had been had quite given in to heavy clouds; the light was dull, the elm-trees dark; and not till they were within two hundred yards could Nedda make out that these were figures of policemen. Then, alongside that which they were carrying, she saw her aunt's blue dress. WHAT were they carrying like that? She dashed down the steps, and stopped. No! If it were HE they would bring him in! She rushed back again, distracted. She could see now a form stretched on a hurdle. It WAS he!

On her third visit, she spotted figures coming down the road from the direction of the church—dark figures carrying something, followed by others walking alongside. The sun had completely surrendered to heavy clouds; the light was dull, and the elm trees looked dark. It wasn’t until they were about two hundred yards away that Nedda recognized they were policemen. Then, next to what they were carrying, she noticed her aunt’s blue dress. WHAT were they carrying like that? She dashed down the steps but stopped. No! If it were HIM, they would bring him in! She rushed back again, panicked. Now she could see a figure stretched out on a stretcher. It WAS him!

“Dad! Quick!”

“Dad! Hurry!”

Felix came, startled at that cry, to find his little daughter on the path wringing her hands and flying back to the wicket gate. They were close now. She saw them begin to mount the steps, those behind raising their arms so that the hurdle should be level. Derek lay on his back, with head and forehead swathed in wet blue linen, torn from his mother's skirt; and the rest of his face very white. He lay quite still, his clothes covered with mud. Terrified, Nedda plucked at Kirsteen's sleeve.

Felix ran over, surprised by the scream, to see his young daughter on the path, wringing her hands and rushing back to the gate. They were almost there now. She watched them start to climb the steps, the ones behind lifting their arms to level the hurdle. Derek was lying on his back, his head and forehead wrapped in damp blue fabric torn from his mother's skirt, and the rest of his face looked very pale. He lay completely still, his clothes caked with mud. Frightened, Nedda tugged at Kirsteen's sleeve.

“What is it?”

"What's that?"

“Concussion!” The stillness of that blue-clothed figure, so calm beside her, gave her strength to say quietly:

“Concussion!” The calmness of that person in blue, so still next to her, gave her the courage to say softly:

“Put him in my room, Aunt Kirsteen; there's more air there!” And she flew up-stairs, flinging wide her door, making the bed ready, snatching her night things from the pillow; pouring out cold water, sprinkling the air with eau de cologne. Then she stood still. Perhaps, they would not bring him there? Yes, they were coming up. They brought him in, and laid him on the bed. She heard one say: “Doctor'll be here directly, ma'am. Let him lie quiet.” Then she and his mother were alone beside him.

“Put him in my room, Aunt Kirsteen; there's more air there!” And she rushed upstairs, threw open her door, made the bed, grabbed her pajamas off the pillow, poured cold water, and sprayed the air with cologne. Then she paused. Maybe they wouldn’t bring him here? Yes, they were coming up. They brought him in and set him on the bed. She heard one of them say, “The doctor will be here soon, ma'am. Let him lie still.” Then she and his mother were alone with him.

“Undo his boots,” said Kirsteen.

“Take off his boots,” said Kirsteen.

Nedda's fingers trembled, and she hated them for fumbling so, while she drew off those muddy boots. Then her aunt said softly: “Hold him up, dear, while I get his things off.”

Nedda's fingers shook, and she resented them for being clumsy as she pulled off those muddy boots. Then her aunt said gently, "Hold him up, dear, while I take his things off."

And, with a strange rapture that she was allowed to hold him thus, she supported him against her breast till he was freed and lying back inert. Then, and only then, she whispered:

And, feeling a strange joy in being able to hold him like this, she cradled him against her chest until he was released and lying back, motionless. Then, and only then, she whispered:

“How long before he—?”

“How long until he—?”

Kirsteen shook her head; and, slipping her arm round the girl, murmured: “Courage, Nedda!”

Kirsteen shook her head and, wrapping her arm around the girl, whispered, "Stay strong, Nedda!"

The girl felt fear and love rush up desperately to overwhelm her. She choked them back, and said quite quietly: “I will. I promise. Only let me help nurse him!”

The girl felt fear and love surge up desperately to overwhelm her. She choked them back and said quietly, “I will. I promise. Just let me help take care of him!”

Kirsteen nodded. And they sat down to wait.

Kirsteen nodded. Then they sat down to wait.

That quarter of an hour was the longest of her life. To see him thus, living, yet not living, with the spirit driven from him by a cruel blow, perhaps never to come back! Curious, how things still got themselves noticed when all her faculties were centred in gazing at his face. She knew that it was raining again; heard the swish and drip, and smelled the cool wet perfume through the scent of the eau de cologne that she had spilled. She noted her aunt's arm, as it hovered, wetting the bandage; the veins and rounded whiteness from under the loose blue sleeve slipped up to the elbow. One of his feet lay close to her at the bed's edge; she stole her hand beneath the sheet. That foot felt very cold, and she grasped it tight. If only she could pass life into him through her hot hand. She heard the ticking of her little travelling-clock, and was conscious of flies wheeling close up beneath the white ceiling, of how one by one they darted at each other, making swift zigzags in the air. And something in her she had not yet known came welling up, softening her eyes, her face, even the very pose of her young body—the hidden passion of a motherliness, that yearned so to 'kiss the place,' to make him well, to nurse and tend, restore and comfort him. And with all her might she watched the movements of those rounded arms under the blue sleeves—how firm and exact they were, how soft and quiet and swift, bathing the dark head! Then from beneath the bandage she caught sight suddenly of his eyes. And her heart turned sick. Oh, they were not quite closed! As if he hadn't life enough to close them! She bit into her lip to stop a cry. It was so terrible to see them without light. Why did not that doctor come? Over and over and over again within her the prayer turned: Let him live! Oh, let him live!

That fifteen minutes was the longest of her life. Seeing him like this, alive but not truly living, with his spirit crushed by a cruel blow, perhaps never to return! It was strange how she still noticed things while all her attention was on his face. She realized it was raining again; she heard the sound of it swishing and dripping, and smelled the cool, fresh scent mixed with the eau de cologne she had spilled. She noticed her aunt's arm as it hovered, wetting the bandage; the veins and pale skin from under the loose blue sleeve rose up to the elbow. One of his feet was close to her at the edge of the bed; she slipped her hand beneath the sheet. That foot felt very cold, and she held onto it tightly. If only she could transfer life into him through her warm hand. She heard the ticking of her little travel clock, and was aware of flies buzzing beneath the white ceiling, darting at each other and making quick zigzags in the air. Something within her that she had not yet recognized began to rise up, softening her eyes, her face, even the way her young body was positioned—the hidden urge of a motherly instinct that desperately wanted to 'kiss it better,' to make him well, to care for and comfort him. And with all her strength, she watched the movements of those rounded arms under the blue sleeves—how firm and precise they were, how gentle and quick, tending to his dark head! Then, suddenly, she caught a glimpse of his eyes beneath the bandage. Her heart dropped. Oh, they were not completely closed! As if he didn’t have enough life left to close them! She bit her lip to hold back a cry. It was so heartbreaking to see them without any light in them. Why wasn’t that doctor coming? Again and again, the plea echoed inside her: Let him live! Oh, let him live!

The blackbirds out in the orchard were tuning up for evening. It seemed almost dreadful they should be able to sing like that. All the world was going on just the same! If he died, the world would have no more light for her than there was now in his poor eyes—and yet it would go on the same! How was that possible? It was not possible, because she would die too! She saw her aunt turn her head like a startled animal; some one was coming up the stairs! It was the doctor, wiping his wet face—a young man in gaiters. How young—dreadfully young! No; there was a little gray at the sides of his hair! What would he say? And Nedda sat with hands tight clenched in her lap, motionless as a young crouching sphinx. An interminable testing, and questioning, and answer! Never smoked—never drank—never been ill! The blow—ah, here! Just here! Concussion—yes! Then long staring into the eyes, the eyelids lifted between thumb and finger. And at last (how could he talk so loud! Yet it was a comfort too—he would not talk like that if Derek were going to die!)—Hair cut shorter—ice—watch him like a lynx! This and that, if he came to. Nothing else to be done. And then those blessed words:

The blackbirds in the orchard were getting ready to sing for the evening. It felt almost terrible that they could sing like that. The world kept going on just the same! If he died, she would have no more light in her life than what was in his dim eyes now—and yet it would continue as usual! How was that possible? It couldn't be, because she would die too! She watched her aunt turn her head like a startled animal; someone was coming up the stairs! It was the doctor, wiping his wet face—a young man in gaiters. So young—unbelievably young! No; there was a bit of gray at the sides of his hair! What would he say? And Nedda sat with her hands tightly clenched in her lap, as still as a young crouching sphinx. A relentless series of tests, questions, and answers! Never smoked—never drank—never been sick! The impact—ah, here! Right here! Concussion—yes! Then a long stare into the eyes, the eyelids lifted between thumb and finger. And finally (how could he speak so loudly! Yet it was a comfort too—he wouldn’t talk like that if Derek was going to die!)—Hair cut shorter—ice—watch him like a hawk! This and that, if he comes to. Nothing else to be done. And then those blessed words:

“But don't worry too much. I think it'll be all right.” She could not help a little sigh escaping her clenched teeth.

“But don’t worry too much. I think it’ll be fine.” She couldn’t help a small sigh escaping her clenched teeth.

The doctor was looking at her. His eyes were nice.

The doctor was looking at her. His eyes were kind.

“Sister?”

"Sis?"

“Cousin.”

“Cousin.”

“Ah! Well, I'll get back now, and send you out some ice, at once.”

“Ah! Well, I'll head back now and send some ice out to you right away.”

More talk outside the door. Nedda, alone with her lover, crouched forward on her knees, and put her lips to his. They were not so cold as his foot, and the first real hope and comfort came to her. Watch him like a lynx—wouldn't she? But how had it all happened? And where was Sheila? and Uncle Tod?

More chatter outside the door. Nedda, alone with her boyfriend, leaned forward on her knees and pressed her lips to his. They weren't as cold as his foot, and she felt the first real hope and comfort wash over her. She would watch him like a hawk—wouldn't she? But how did it all happen? And where was Sheila? And Uncle Tod?

Her aunt had come back and was stroking her shoulder. There had been fighting in the barn at Marrow Farm. They had arrested Sheila. Derek had jumped down to rescue her and struck his head against a grindstone. Her uncle had gone with Sheila. They would watch, turn and turn about. Nedda must go now and eat something, and get ready to take the watch from eight to midnight.

Her aunt had returned and was gently rubbing her shoulder. There had been a fight in the barn at Marrow Farm. They had arrested Sheila. Derek had jumped down to save her and hit his head on a grindstone. Her uncle had gone with Sheila. They would take turns watching. Nedda needed to go eat something now and get ready to take the watch from eight to midnight.

Following her resolve to make no fuss, the girl went out. The police had gone. The mother-child was putting her little folk to bed; and in the kitchen Felix was arranging the wherewithal to eat. He made her sit down and kept handing things; watching like a cat to see that she put them in her mouth, in the way from which only Flora had suffered hitherto; he seemed so anxious and unhappy, and so awfully sweet, that Nedda forced herself to swallow what she thought would never go down a dry and choky throat. He kept coming up and touching her shoulder or forehead. Once he said:

Following her decision to stay calm, the girl stepped outside. The police were gone. The mother was tucking her little ones in bed, and in the kitchen, Felix was getting things ready to eat. He made her sit down and kept passing her things, watching like a cat to make sure she put them in her mouth, just like only Flora had endured before; he appeared so anxious and upset, yet so unbearably sweet, that Nedda forced herself to swallow what felt like it would never go down her dry, choking throat. He kept approaching and lightly touching her shoulder or forehead. Once he said:

“It's all right, you know, my pet; concussion often takes two days.”

“It's okay, you know, my dear; a concussion often lasts two days.”

Two days with his eyes like that! The consolation was not so vivid as Felix might have wished; but she quite understood that he was doing his best to give it. She suddenly remembered that he had no room to sleep in. He must use Derek's. No! That, it appeared, was to be for her when she came off duty. Felix was going to have an all-night sitting in the kitchen. He had been looking forward to an all-night sitting for many years, and now he had got his chance. It was a magnificent opportunity—“without your mother, my dear, to insist on my sleeping.” And staring at his smile, Nedda thought: 'He's like Granny—he comes out under difficulties. If only I did!'

Two days with his eyes like that! The comfort wasn't as strong as Felix might have hoped, but she completely understood that he was trying his best to offer it. She suddenly remembered that he had no place to sleep. He must be using Derek's. No! That, it turned out, was meant for her when she got off duty. Felix was going to spend the whole night in the kitchen. He had been looking forward to an all-night sitting for many years, and now he finally had his chance. It was a fantastic opportunity—“without your mother, my dear, insisting that I sleep.” And as she looked at his smile, Nedda thought: 'He's like Granny—he thrives under pressure. If only I could!'

The ice arrived by motor-cycle just before her watch began. It was some comfort to have that definite thing to see to. How timorous and humble are thoughts in a sick-room, above all when the sick are stretched behind the muffle of unconsciousness, withdrawn from the watcher by half-death! And yet, for him or her who loves, there is at least the sense of being alone with the loved one, of doing all that can be done; and in some strange way of twining hearts with the exiled spirit. To Nedda, sitting at his feet, and hardly ever turning eyes away from his still face, it sometimes seemed that the flown spirit was there beside her. And she saw into his soul in those hours of watching, as one looking into a stream sees the leopard-like dapple of its sand and dark-strewn floor, just reached by sunlight. She saw all his pride, courage, and impatience, his reserve, and strange unwilling tenderness, as she had never seen them. And a queer dreadful feeling moved her that in some previous existence she had looked at that face dead on a field of battle, frowning up at the stars. That was absurd—there were no previous existences! Or was it prevision of what would come some day?

The ice arrived by motorcycle just before her watch began. It was somewhat comforting to have something definite to focus on. Thoughts in a sickroom are so timid and humble, especially when the sick are lying behind the veil of unconsciousness, separated from the observer by a state resembling half-death! Yet, for anyone who loves, there’s at least the feeling of being alone with their loved one, of doing everything possible; and in some strange way, it creates a bond between hearts and the spirit that feels distant. For Nedda, sitting at his feet and rarely looking away from his still face, it sometimes felt like his wandering spirit was right there beside her. During those hours of watching, she glimpsed into his soul, as one might see the leopard-like pattern of sand and dark bits on the bottom of a stream, just touched by sunlight. She witnessed all his pride, courage, and impatience, his reserve, and that strange, reluctant tenderness like she never had before. A strange, haunting feeling came over her that in a past life, she had looked at that face lifeless on a battlefield, staring up at the stars. That was ridiculous—there was no such thing as past lives! Or was it a vision of something that would happen someday?

When, at half past nine, the light began to fail, she lighted two candles in tall, thin, iron candlesticks beside her. They burned without flicker, those spires of yellow flame, slowly conquering the dying twilight, till in their soft radiance the room was full of warm dusky shadows, the night outside ever a deeper black. Two or three times his mother came, looked at him, asked her if she should stay, and, receiving a little silent shake of the head, went away again. At eleven o'clock, when once more she changed the ice-cap, his eyes had still no lustre, and for a moment her courage failed her utterly. It seemed to her that he could never win back, that death possessed the room already, possessed those candle-flames, the ticking of the clock, the dark, dripping night, possessed her heart. Could he be gone before she had been his! Gone! Where? She sank down on her knees, covering her eyes. What good to watch, if he were never coming back! A long time—it seemed hours—passed thus, with the feeling growing deeper in her that no good would come while she was watching. And behind the barrier of her hands she tried desperately to rally courage. If things were—they were! One must look them in the face! She took her hands away. His eyes! Was it light in them? Was it? They were seeing—surely they saw. And his lips made the tiniest movement. In that turmoil of exultation she never knew how she managed to continue kneeling there, with her hands on his. But all her soul shone down to him out of her eyes, and drew and drew at his spirit struggling back from the depths of him. For many minutes that struggle lasted; then he smiled. It was the feeblest smile that ever was on lips, but it made the tears pour down Nedda's cheeks and trickle off on to his hands. Then, with a stoicism that she could not believe in, so hopelessly unreal it seemed, so utterly the negation of the tumult within her, she settled back again at his feet to watch and not excite him. And still his lips smiled that faint smile, and his opened eyes grew dark and darker with meaning.

When the light started to fade at nine-thirty, she lit two candles in tall, thin iron candlesticks next to her. They burned steadily, those yellow flames slowly pushing back the dying twilight, until the soft glow filled the room with warm, dusky shadows, while outside, the night grew even darker. Her mother came in two or three times, looked at him, asked if she should stay, and, after a small silent shake of the head, left again. At eleven o'clock, when she changed the ice pack once more, his eyes still lacked life, and for a moment, all her courage vanished. It felt to her that he might never come back, that death had already claimed the room, taken over the candle flames, the ticking clock, the dark, dripping night, and her heart. Could he leave before she had truly been his? Gone! Where? She sank to her knees, covering her eyes. What was the point of watching if he might never return? A long time passed—it felt like hours—while her conviction deepened that no good would come while she was watching. Behind her hands, she desperately tried to gather her courage. If things were as they were—then they were! She had to face them! She removed her hands. His eyes! Was there light in them? Was there? They seemed to be seeing—surely they could see. And his lips made the tiniest movement. In that chaotic moment of joy, she didn’t even know how she managed to keep kneeling there, her hands on his. But all her energy flowed down to him through her eyes, drawing at his spirit as it fought to return from the depths. That struggle lasted for many minutes; then he smiled. It was the faintest smile that had ever crossed lips, but it made tears stream down Nedda's cheeks and drip onto his hands. Then, with a stoicism she couldn't believe in, so hopelessly unreal it felt, so completely opposed to the turmoil inside her, she settled back at his feet to watch quietly and not disturb him. And still his lips held that faint smile, and his open eyes grew darker with meaning.

So at midnight Kirsteen found them.

So at midnight, Kirsteen found them.





CHAPTER XXX

In the early hours of his all-night sitting Felix had first only memories, and then Kirsteen for companion.

In the early hours of his all-night vigil, Felix first had only memories, and then Kirsteen as his companion.

“I worry most about Tod,” she said. “He had that look in his face when he went off from Marrow Farm. He might do something terrible if they ill-treat Sheila. If only she has sense enough to see and not provoke them.”

“I’m really worried about Tod,” she said. “He had that look on his face when he left Marrow Farm. He could do something awful if they mistreat Sheila. If only she’s smart enough to see it and not provoke them.”

“Surely she will,” Felix murmured.

"Of course she will," Felix murmured.

“Yes, if she realizes. But she won't, I'm afraid. Even I have only known him look like that three times. Tod is so gentle—passion stores itself in him; and when it comes, it's awful. If he sees cruelty, he goes almost mad. Once he would have killed a man if I hadn't got between them. He doesn't know what he's doing at such moments. I wish—I wish he were back. It's hard one can't pierce through, and see him.”

“Yes, if she realizes. But I don’t think she will, unfortunately. Even I’ve only seen him look like that three times. Tod is so gentle—he keeps his passion inside; and when it comes out, it’s terrifying. If he witnesses cruelty, he almost goes crazy. There was a time he would have killed a man if I hadn’t stepped in between them. He loses awareness of what he’s doing during those moments. I wish—I wish he were here again. It’s tough not being able to get through and see him.”

Gazing at her eyes so dark and intent, Felix thought: 'If YOU can't pierce through—none can.'

Gazing into her dark, focused eyes, Felix thought, 'If you can’t see through—no one can.'

He learned the story of the disaster.

He heard about the disaster.

Early that morning Derek had assembled twenty of the strongest laborers, and taken them a round of the farms to force the strike-breakers to desist. There had been several fights, in all of which the strike-breakers had been beaten. Derek himself had fought three times. In the afternoon the police had come, and the laborers had rushed with Derek and Sheila, who had joined them, into a barn at Marrow Farm, barred it, and thrown mangolds at the police, when they tried to force an entrance. One by one the laborers had slipped away by a rope out of a ventilation-hole high up at the back, and they had just got Sheila down when the police appeared on that side, too. Derek, who had stayed to the last, covering their escape with mangolds, had jumped down twenty feet when he saw them taking Sheila, and, pitching forward, hit his head against a grindstone. Then, just as they were marching Sheila and two of the laborers away, Tod had arrived and had fallen in alongside the policemen—he and the dog. It was then she had seen that look on his face.

Early that morning, Derek had gathered twenty of the strongest workers and taken them around the farms to make the strike-breakers back off. There had been several fights, all of which the strike-breakers had lost. Derek had fought three times himself. In the afternoon, the police showed up, and the workers, along with Derek and Sheila who had joined them, rushed into a barn at Marrow Farm, barricaded it, and threw mangolds at the police when they tried to break in. One by one, the workers slipped away through a rope out of a ventilation hole high up at the back, and they had just helped Sheila down when the police appeared on that side too. Derek, who stayed until the end, covering their escape with mangolds, jumped down twenty feet when he saw them taking Sheila and, pitching forward, hit his head against a grindstone. Then, just as they were taking Sheila and two of the workers away, Tod arrived and fell in alongside the police—him and the dog. That's when she saw that look on his face.

Felix, who had never beheld his big brother in Berserk mood, could offer no consolation; nor had he the heart to adorn the tale, and inflict on this poor woman his reflection: 'This, you see, is what comes of the ferment you have fostered. This is the reward of violence!' He longed, rather, to comfort her; she seemed so lonely and, in spite of all her stoicism, so distraught and sad. His heart went out, too, to Tod. How would he himself have felt, walking by the side of policemen whose arms were twisted in Nedda's! But so mixed are the minds of men that at this very moment there was born within him the germ of a real revolt against the entry of his little daughter into this family of hotheads. It was more now than mere soreness and jealousy; it was fear of a danger hitherto but sniffed at, but now only too sharply savored.

Felix, who had never seen his big brother in a Berserk mood, couldn’t offer any comfort; nor did he have the heart to embellish the story and tell this poor woman, 'This is what happens because of the chaos you’ve encouraged. This is the price of violence!' Instead, he wished to console her; she looked so lonely and, despite all her stoicism, so troubled and sad. He also felt for Tod. How would he himself feel walking alongside policemen who had Nedda in their grip? But the minds of men are so complicated that at that very moment, he felt the beginnings of a real rebellion against bringing his little daughter into this family of hotheads. It was more than just hurt and jealousy; it was a fear of a danger he had only sensed before, now all too vividly realized.

When she left him to go up-stairs, Felix stayed consulting the dark night. As ever, in hours of ebbed vitality, the shapes of fear and doubt grew clearer and more positive; they loomed huge out there among the apple-trees, where the drip-drip of the rain made music. But his thoughts were still nebulous, not amounting to resolve. It was no moment for resolves—with the boy lying up there between the tides of chance; and goodness knew what happening to Tod and Sheila. The air grew sharper; he withdrew to the hearth, where a wood fire still burned, gray ash, red glow, scent oozing from it. And while he crouched there, blowing it with bellows, he heard soft footsteps, and saw Nedda standing behind him transformed.

When she left him to go upstairs, Felix stayed outside, staring into the dark night. As always, during times of low energy, his fears and doubts became clearer and more pronounced; they loomed large among the apple trees, where the sound of the rain created a sort of music. But his thoughts were still vague, not leading to any decisions. This wasn’t a time for decisions—with the boy up there caught in uncertainty; and who knew what was happening to Tod and Sheila. The air grew colder; he moved closer to the fireplace, where a wood fire still burned, gray ash, red embers, the scent wafting from it. While he crouched there, fanning the flames with the bellows, he heard soft footsteps and turned to see Nedda standing behind him, transformed.

But in the midst of all his glad sympathy Felix could not help thinking: 'Better for you, perhaps, if he had never returned from darkness!'

But in the middle of all his happy sympathy, Felix couldn’t help but think: 'Maybe it would have been better for you if he had never come back from the darkness!'

She came and crouched down by him.

She came over and crouched down next to him.

“Let me sit with you, Dad. It smells so good.”

“Let me sit with you, Dad. It smells amazing.”

“Very well; but you must sleep.”

“Alright; but you need to get some sleep.”

“I don't believe I'll ever want to sleep again.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever want to sleep again.”

And at the glow in her Felix glowed too. What is so infectious as delight? They sat a long time talking, as they had not talked since the first fatal visit to Becket. Of how love, and mountains, works of art, and doing things for others were the only sources of happiness; except scents, and lying on one's back looking through tree-tops at the sky; and tea, and sunlight, flowers, and hard exercise; oh, and the sea! Of how, when things went hard, one prayed—but what did one pray to? Was it not to something in oneself? It was of no use to pray to the great mysterious Force that made one thing a cabbage, and the other a king; for That could obviously not be weak-minded enough to attend. And gradually little pauses began to creep into their talk; then a big pause, and Nedda, who would never want to sleep again, was fast asleep.

And at the glow in her, Felix glowed too. What’s more contagious than joy? They spent a long time talking, like they hadn’t since that first fateful visit to Becket. They discussed how love, mountains, works of art, and helping others were the only sources of happiness; aside from scents, lying on their backs looking through tree tops at the sky, tea, sunlight, flowers, and exercise; oh, and the sea! They talked about how, when times were tough, people prayed—but who were they praying to? Wasn’t it something inside themselves? It didn’t help to pray to that great mysterious Force that could turn a cabbage into a king; it obviously couldn’t be weak enough to pay attention. And little pauses started to slip into their conversation; then a big pause, and Nedda, who didn’t want to sleep again, was fast asleep.

Felix watched those long, dark lashes resting on her cheeks; the slow, soft rise of her breast; the touching look of trust and goodness in that young face abandoned to oblivion after these hours of stress; watched the little tired shadows under the eyes, the tremors of the just-parted lips. And, getting up, stealthy as a cat, he found a light rug, and ever more stealthily laid it over her. She stirred at that, smiled up at him, and instantly went off again. And he thought: 'Poor little sweetheart, she WAS tired!' And a passionate desire to guard her from trials and troubles came on him.

Felix watched those long, dark eyelashes resting on her cheeks; the slow, gentle rise of her chest; the sweet expression of trust and innocence on that young face, which had been left in peace after these hours of stress; noticed the slight shadows under her eyes, the trembling of her slightly parted lips. Then, getting up as quietly as a cat, he found a light blanket and carefully draped it over her. She stirred at that, smiled up at him, and immediately fell back asleep. He thought, 'Poor little sweetheart, she really was tired!' And a strong urge to protect her from hardship rushed over him.

At four o'clock Kirsteen slipped in again, and whispered: “She made me promise to come for her. How pretty she looks, sleeping!”

At four o'clock, Kirsteen came in again and whispered, “She made me promise to come for her. She looks so pretty while she's sleeping!”

“Yes,” Felix answered; “pretty and good!”

“Yes,” Felix replied; “attractive and kind!”

Nedda raised her head, stared up at her aunt, and a delighted smile spread over her face. “Is it time again? How lovely!” Then, before either could speak or stop her, she was gone.

Nedda lifted her head, looked up at her aunt, and a joyful smile spread across her face. “Is it time again? How wonderful!” Then, before either of them could say anything or stop her, she was gone.

“She is more in love,” Kirsteen murmured, “than I ever saw a girl of her age.”

“She is more in love,” Kirsteen whispered, “than I’ve ever seen a girl her age.”

“She is more in love,” Felix answered, “than is good to see.”

“She is more in love,” Felix replied, “than is healthy to witness.”

“She is not truer than Derek is.”

“She is not more truthful than Derek is.”

“That may be, but she will suffer from him.”

"That might be true, but she will suffer because of him."

“Women who love must always suffer.”

“Women who love always have to suffer.”

Her cheeks were sunken, shadowy; she looked very tired. When she had gone to get some sleep, Felix restored the fire and put on a kettle, meaning to make himself some coffee. Morning had broken, clear and sparkling after the long rain, and full of scent and song. What glory equalled this early morning radiance, the dewy wonder of everything! What hour of the day was such a web of youth and beauty as this, when all the stars from all the skies had fallen into the grass! A cold nose was thrust into his hand, and he saw beside him Tod's dog. The animal was wet, and lightly moved his white-tipped tail; while his dark-yellow eyes inquired of Felix what he was going to give a dog to eat. Then Felix saw his brother coming in. Tod's face was wild and absent as a man with all his thoughts turned on something painful in the distance. His ruffled hair had lost its brightness; his eyes looked as if driven back into his head; he was splashed with mud, and wet from head to foot. He walked up to the hearth without a word.

Her cheeks were sunken and shadowy; she looked really tired. After she went to get some sleep, Felix stoked the fire and put a kettle on, planning to make himself some coffee. Morning had broken, clear and sparkling after the long rain, filled with scent and song. What glory matched this early morning radiance, the dewy wonder of everything! What hour of the day was such a mix of youth and beauty as this, when all the stars from all the skies had fallen into the grass! A cold nose nudged his hand, and he saw Tod's dog beside him. The animal was wet and wagged his white-tipped tail lightly; his dark-yellow eyes were asking Felix what he was going to feed him. Then Felix noticed his brother coming in. Tod's face looked wild and distracted, like a man preoccupied with something painful far away. His disheveled hair had lost its shine; his eyes seemed pushed back into his head; he was splattered with mud and soaked from head to toe. He walked up to the hearth without saying a word.

“Well, old man?” said Felix anxiously.

“What's up, old man?” Felix said nervously.

Tod looked at him, but did not answer.

Tod looked at him but didn't say anything.

“Come,” said Felix; “tell us!”

"Come on," said Felix; "tell us!"

“Locked up,” said Tod in a voice unlike his own. “I didn't knock them down.”

“Locked up,” Tod said in a voice that didn't sound like him. “I didn't knock them down.”

“Heavens! I should hope not.”

“OMG! I hope not.”

“I ought to have.”

"I should have."

Felix put his hand within his brother's arm.

Felix hooked his arm through his brother's.

“They twisted her arms; one of them pushed her from behind. I can't understand it. How was it I didn't? I can't understand.”

“They twisted her arms; one of them pushed her from behind. I don't get it. How did I not see it? I just don’t understand.”

“I can,” said Felix. “They were the Law. If they had been mere men you'd have done it, fast enough.”

“I can,” said Felix. “They were the Law. If they had just been regular guys, you would have done it, no problem.”

“I can't understand,” Tod repeated. “I've been walking ever since.”

“I can't understand,” Tod said again. “I've been walking the whole time.”

Felix stroked his shoulder.

Felix rubbed his shoulder.

“Go up-stairs, old man. Kirsteen's anxious.”

“Go upstairs, old man. Kirsteen's worried.”

Tod sat down and took his boots off.

Tod sat down and took off his boots.

“I can't understand,” he said once more. Then, without another word, or even a look at Felix, he went out and up the stairs.

“I don’t get it,” he said again. Then, without another word or even a glance at Felix, he went out and up the stairs.

And Felix thought: 'Poor Kirsteen! Ah, well—they're all about as queer, one as the other! How to get Nedda out of it?'

And Felix thought, 'Poor Kirsteen! Well, they're all just as strange as each other! How can I get Nedda out of this?'

And, with that question gnawing at him, he went out into the orchard. The grass was drenching wet, so he descended to the road. Two wood-pigeons were crooning to each other, truest of all sounds of summer; there was no wind, and the flies had begun humming. In the air, cleared of dust, the scent of hay was everywhere. What about those poor devils of laborers, now? They would get the sack for this! and he was suddenly beset with a feeling of disgust. This world where men, and women too, held what they had, took what they could; this world of seeing only one thing at a time; this world of force, and cunning, of struggle, and primitive appetites; of such good things, too, such patience, endurance, heroism—and yet at heart so unutterably savage!

And with that question eating away at him, he stepped out into the orchard. The grass was soaking wet, so he headed down to the road. Two wood pigeons were cooing to each other, the truest sound of summer; there was no wind, and the flies had started buzzing. In the air, clear of dust, the scent of hay was everywhere. What about those poor laborers now? They would get fired for this! Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with a feeling of disgust. This world where men and women held onto what they had and took whatever they could; this world of seeing only one thing at a time; this world of force and cunning, struggle, and basic desires; filled with such good things too, such patience, endurance, heroism—and yet at its core, so unbearably savage!

He was very tired; but it was too wet to sit down, so he walked on. Now and again he passed a laborer going to work; but very few in all those miles, and they quite silent. 'Did they ever really whistle?' Felix thought. 'Were they ever jolly ploughmen? Or was that always a fiction? Surely, if they can't give tongue this morning, they never can!' He crossed a stile and took a slanting path through a little wood. The scent of leaves and sap, the dapple of sunlight—all the bright early glow and beauty struck him with such force that he could have cried out in the sharpness of sensation. At that hour when man was still abed and the land lived its own life, how full and sweet and wild that life seemed, how in love with itself! Truly all the trouble in the world came from the manifold disharmonies of the self-conscious animal called Man!

He was really tired, but it was too wet to sit down, so he kept walking. Every now and then, he passed a worker heading to their job, but there were very few of them over those miles, and they were all pretty quiet. 'Did they ever actually whistle?' Felix wondered. 'Were they ever cheerful farmers? Or was that just a story? Surely, if they can't make a sound this morning, they never will!' He climbed over a stile and took a winding path through a small forest. The smell of leaves and sap, the speckles of sunlight—all the bright early glow and beauty hit him so strongly that he could have shouted from the intensity of it all. At that time when most people were still asleep and the land was living its own life, it seemed so full, sweet, and wild, so in love with itself! Honestly, all the problems in the world came from the many disharmonies of the self-aware creature called Man!

Then, coming out on the road again, he saw that he must be within a mile or two of Becket; and finding himself suddenly very hungry, determined to go there and get some breakfast.

Then, coming back onto the road, he realized he must be a mile or two from Becket; feeling unexpectedly very hungry, he decided to head there and grab some breakfast.





CHAPTER XXXI

Duly shaved with one of Stanley's razors, bathed, and breakfasted, Felix was on the point of getting into the car to return to Joyfields when he received a message from his mother: Would he please go up and see her before he went?

Duly shaved with one of Stanley's razors, bathed, and having had breakfast, Felix was about to get into the car to head back to Joyfields when he got a message from his mom: Could he please come up and see her before he left?

He found her looking anxious and endeavoring to conceal it.

He saw her looking worried and trying to hide it.

Having kissed him, she drew him to her sofa and said: “Now, darling, come and sit down here, and tell me all about this DREADFUL business.” And taking up an odorator she blew over him a little cloud of scent. “It's quite a new perfume; isn't it delicious?”

Having kissed him, she pulled him to her sofa and said, “Now, darling, come sit here and tell me all about this AWFUL situation.” Then, grabbing a bottle of perfume, she sprayed a little cloud of scent over him. “It’s a brand new perfume; isn’t it wonderful?”

Felix, who dreaded scent, concealed his feelings, sat down, and told her. And while he told her he was conscious of how pathetically her fastidiousness was quivering under those gruesome details—fighting with policemen, fighting with common men, prison—FOR A LADY; conscious too of her still more pathetic effort to put a good face on it. When he had finished she remained so perfectly still, with lips so hard compressed, that he said:

Felix, who couldn’t stand the smell, hid his feelings, sat down, and spoke to her. And as he spoke, he was aware of how sadly her delicate nature was struggling with those grim details—fighting with police, fighting with regular people, jail—FOR A LADY; he also noticed her even more pitiable attempt to stay composed. When he was done, she sat completely still, her lips pressed tightly together, so he said:

“It's no good worrying, Mother.”

“Stop worrying, Mom.”

Frances Freeland rose, pulled something hard, and a cupboard appeared. She opened it, and took out a travelling-bag.

Frances Freeland stood up, pulled something hard, and a cupboard appeared. She opened it and took out a travel bag.

“I must go back with you at once,” she said.

“I need to go back with you right away,” she said.

“I don't think it's in the least necessary, and you'll only knock yourself up.”

“I don’t think it’s necessary at all, and you’ll just end up hurting yourself.”

“Oh, nonsense, darling! I must.”

“Oh, come on, darling! I must.”

Knowing that further dissuasion would harden her determination, Felix said: “I'm going in the car.”

Knowing that trying to change her mind would only make her more determined, Felix said: “I’m going in the car.”

“That doesn't matter. I shall be ready in ten minutes. Oh! and do you know this? It's splendid for taking lines out under the eyes!” She was holding out a little round box with the lid off. “Just wet your finger with it, and dab it gently on.”

“That doesn't matter. I'll be ready in ten minutes. Oh! and do you know this? It's great for removing dark circles under your eyes!” She was holding out a small round box with the lid off. “Just wet your finger with it and dab it on gently.”

Touched by this evidence of her deep desire that he should put as good a face on it as herself, Felix dabbed himself under the eyes.

Touched by this sign of her strong wish for him to stay optimistic just like she was, Felix wiped his eyes.

“That's right. Now, wait for me, dear; I shan't be a minute. I've only to get my things. They'll all go splendidly in this little bag.”

“That's right. Now, wait for me, dear; I won’t be a minute. I just need to grab my stuff. They’ll all fit perfectly in this little bag.”

In a quarter of an hour they had started. During that journey Frances Freeland betrayed no sign of tremor. She was going into action, and, therefore, had no patience with her nerves.

In fifteen minutes, they were on their way. Throughout the trip, Frances Freeland showed no signs of nervousness. She was about to take action and had no time for her nerves.

“Are you proposing to stay, Mother?” Felix hazarded; “because I don't think there's a room for you.”

“Are you planning to stay, Mom?” Felix ventured; “because I don’t think there’s a room for you.”

“Oh! that's nothing, darling. I sleep beautifully in a chair. It suits me better than lying down.” Felix cast up his eyes, and made no answer.

“Oh! that's nothing, sweetheart. I sleep great in a chair. It works better for me than lying down.” Felix looked up and didn't say anything.

On arriving, they found that the doctor had been there, expressed his satisfaction, and enjoined perfect quiet. Tod was on the point of starting back to Transham, where Sheila and the two laborers would be brought up before the magistrates. Felix and Kirsteen took hurried counsel. Now that Mother, whose nursing was beyond reproach, had come, it would be better if they went with Tod. All three started forthwith in the car.

Upon arriving, they discovered that the doctor had already been there, expressed his satisfaction, and insisted on complete silence. Tod was just about to head back to Transham, where Sheila and the two laborers would be presented before the magistrates. Felix and Kirsteen quickly discussed what to do. Now that Mother, whose nursing was impeccable, had arrived, it would be best if they went with Tod. The three of them immediately set off in the car.

Left alone, Frances Freeland took her bag—a noticeably old one, without any patent clasp whatever, so that she could open it—went noiselessly upstairs, tapped on Derek's door, and went in. A faint but cheerful voice remarked: “Halloo, Granny!”

Left alone, Frances Freeland grabbed her bag—a distinctly old one, with no fancy clasp, making it easy to open—quietly went upstairs, knocked on Derek's door, and went inside. A soft but cheerful voice said, “Hey there, Granny!”

Frances Freeland went up to the bed, smiled down on him ineffably, laid a finger on his lips, and said, in the stillest voice: “You mustn't talk, darling!” Then she sat down in the window with her bag beside her. Half a tear had run down her nose, and she had no intention that it should be seen. She therefore opened her bag, and, having taken out a little bottle, beckoned Nedda.

Frances Freeland walked over to the bed, smiled down at him with a deep warmth, placed a finger on his lips, and said softly, “You shouldn’t talk, darling!” Then she settled in by the window with her bag next to her. A tear had trickled down her nose, and she didn’t want anyone to notice it. So, she opened her bag and took out a small bottle, signaling for Nedda to come over.

“Now, darling,” she whispered, “you must just take one of these. It's nothing new; they're what my mother used to give me at your age. And for one hour you must go out and get some fresh air, and then you can come back.”

“Now, darling,” she whispered, “you just need to take one of these. It's not new; they're what my mom used to give me at your age. And for one hour, you need to go outside and get some fresh air, and then you can come back.”

“Must I, Granny?”

"Do I have to, Granny?"

“Yes; you must keep up your strength. Kiss me.”

“Yes, you need to stay strong. Kiss me.”

Nedda kissed a cheek that seemed extraordinarily smooth and soft, received a kiss in the middle of her own, and, having stayed a second by the bed, looking down with all her might, went out.

Nedda kissed a cheek that felt incredibly smooth and soft, got a kiss in the center of her own, and

Frances Freeland, in the window, wasted no thoughts, but began to run over in her mind the exact operations necessary to defeat this illness of darling Derek's. Her fingers continually locked and interlocked themselves with fresh determinations; her eyes, fixed on imaginary foods, methods of washing, and ways of keeping him quiet, had an almost fanatical intensity. Like a good general she marshalled her means of attack and fixed them in perfect order. Now and then she gazed into her bag, making quite sure that she had everything, and nothing that was new-fangled or liable to go wrong. For into action she never brought any of those patent novelties that delighted her soul in times of peace. For example, when she herself had pneumonia and no doctor, for two months, it was well known that she had lain on her back, free from every kind of remedy, employing only courage, nature, and beef tea, or some such simple sustenance.

Frances Freeland, by the window, didn’t waste any thoughts but started mentally preparing the exact steps needed to help darling Derek recover from his illness. Her fingers continuously locked and interlocked with fresh resolutions; her eyes, focused on imaginary foods, cleaning methods, and ways to keep him calm, had a nearly obsessive intensity. Like a skilled general, she organized her strategies and put them in perfect order. Occasionally, she looked into her bag, making sure she had everything, avoiding anything modern or potentially problematic. She never relied on those trendy gadgets that fascinated her during peaceful times. For instance, when she had pneumonia and went without a doctor for two months, it was well known that she lay on her back, without any medications, relying solely on courage, nature, and beef tea or some simple nourishment.

Having now made her mental dispositions, she got up without sound and slipped off a petticoat that she suspected of having rustled a little when she came in; folding and popping it where it could not be suspected any more, she removed her shoes and put on very old velvet slippers. She walked in these toward the bed, listening to find out whether she could hear herself, without success. Then, standing where she could see when his eyes opened, she began to take stock. That pillow wasn't very comfortable! A little table was wanted on both sides, instead of on one. There was no odorator, and she did not see one of those arrangements! All these things would have to be remedied.

Having sorted out her thoughts, she quietly got up and took off a petticoat she suspected had made a bit of noise when she entered. After folding it and hiding it where it wouldn’t be noticed, she removed her shoes and put on some very old velvet slippers. She walked toward the bed in them, trying to see if she could hear herself, but failed. Then, standing in a spot where she could see when his eyes opened, she began to assess the situation. That pillow was pretty uncomfortable! She needed a little table on both sides instead of just one. There was no fragrance diffuser, and she couldn’t spot one of those setups! All these issues would need to be fixed.

Absorbed in this reconnoitring, she failed to observe that darling Derek was looking at her through eyelashes that were always so nice and black. He said suddenly, in that faint and cheerful voice:

Absorbed in this exploring, she didn’t notice that sweet Derek was watching her through his always nice and dark eyelashes. He suddenly said, in that soft and cheerful voice:

“All right, Granny; I'm going to get up to-morrow.”

“All right, Grandma; I'm going to get up tomorrow.”

Frances Freeland, whose principle it was that people should always be encouraged to believe themselves better than they were, answered. “Yes, darling, of course; you'll be up in no time. It'll be delightful to see you in a chair to-morrow. But you mustn't talk.”

Frances Freeland, who believed that people should always be encouraged to think of themselves as better than they really were, responded. “Yes, sweetie, of course; you'll be better soon. It'll be wonderful to see you sitting in a chair tomorrow. But you mustn't talk.”

Derek sighed, closed his eyes, and went off into a faint.

Derek sighed, closed his eyes, and drifted into unconsciousness.

It was in moments such as these that Frances Freeland was herself. Her face flushed a little and grew terribly determined. Conscious that she was absolutely alone in the house, she ran to her bag, took out her sal volatile, applied it vigorously to his nose, and poured a little between his lips. She did other things to him, and not until she had brought him round, and the best of it was already made, did she even say to herself: 'It's no use fussing; I must make the best of it.'

It was during moments like this that Frances Freeland truly showed who she was. Her face turned a bit red and became incredibly determined. Realizing she was completely alone in the house, she hurried to her bag, pulled out her smelling salts, applied it forcefully to his nose, and poured a little between his lips. She did other things to help him, and not until she had brought him back around, after everything was mostly sorted out, did she even tell herself, 'There’s no point in stressing; I just need to make the best of this.'

Then, having discovered that he felt quite comfortable—as he said—she sat down in a chair to fan him and tremble vigorously. She would not have allowed that movement of her limbs if it had in any way interfered with the fanning. But since, on the contrary, it seemed to be of assistance, she certainly felt it a relief; for, whatever age her spirit might be, her body was seventy-three.

Then, having realized that he felt pretty comfortable—as he put it—she sat down in a chair to fan him and shake a bit. She wouldn't have allowed herself to move if it interfered with fanning him. But since it actually seemed to help, she definitely felt relieved; because, no matter how young her spirit felt, her body was seventy-three.

And while she fanned she thought of Derek as a little, black-haired, blazing-gray-eyed slip of a sallow boy, all little thin legs and arms moving funnily like a foal's. He had been such a dear, gentlemanlike little chap. It was dreadful he should be forgetting himself so, and getting into such trouble. And her thoughts passed back beyond him to her own four little sons, among whom she had been so careful not to have a favorite, but to love them all equally. And she thought of how their holland suits wore out, especially in the elastic, and got green behind, almost before they were put on; and of how she used to cut their hairs, spending at least three-quarters of an hour on each, because she had never been quick at it, while they sat so good—except Stanley, and darling Tod, who WOULD move just as she had got into the comb particularly nice bits of his hair, always so crisp and difficult! And of how she had cut off Felix's long golden curls when he was four, and would have cried over it, if crying hadn't always been silly! And of how beautifully they had all had their measles together, so that she had been up with them day and night for about a fortnight. And of how it was a terrible risk with Derek and darling Nedda, not at all a wise match, she was afraid. And yet, if they really were attached, of course one must put the best face on it! And how lovely it would be to see another little baby some day; and what a charming little mother Nedda would make—if only the dear child would do her hair just a little differently! And she perceived that Derek was asleep—and one of her own legs, from the knee down. She would certainly have bad pins and needles if she did not get up; but, since she would not wake him for the world, she must do something else to cure it. And she hit upon this plan. She had only to say, 'Nonsense, you haven't anything of the sort!' and it was sure to go away. She said this to her leg, but, being a realist, she only made it feel like a pin-cushion. She knew, however, that she had only to persevere, because it would never do to give in. She persevered, and her leg felt as if red-hot needles were being stuck in it. Then, for the life of her, she could not help saying a little psalm. The sensation went away and left her leg quite dead. She would have no strength in it at all when she got up. But that would be easily cured, when she could get to her bag, with three globules of nux vomica—and darling Derek must not be waked up for anything! She waited thus till Nedda came back, and then said, “Sssh!”

And while she fanned herself, she thought of Derek as a small, black-haired boy with bright gray eyes, all thin legs and arms moving awkwardly like a young horse. He had been such a sweet, gentlemanly little guy. It was awful that he was losing himself like this and getting into so much trouble. Her thoughts drifted back beyond him to her own four little sons, whom she had tried so hard not to favor but to love equally. She thought about how their cotton suits wore out, especially in the elastic, and got green in the back almost before they were even worn; and about how she used to cut their hair, spending at least three-quarters of an hour on each since she was never quick at it, while they sat so still—except for Stanley, and dear Tod, who would always move just as she got the comb into particularly nice bits of his tricky hair! And how she had cut off Felix's long golden curls when he was four, feeling like crying over it, if crying hadn’t always seemed silly! And how beautifully they had all had their measles together, so she had been up with them day and night for about two weeks. And how it was a huge risk with Derek and sweet Nedda; it didn’t seem like a smart match, she was worried. But still, if they were really in love, of course, one had to make the best of it! And how wonderful it would be to see another little baby someday; and what a lovely mother Nedda would be—if only the dear girl would style her hair just a bit differently! She then realized that Derek was asleep—and one of her own legs, from the knee down. She would definitely have bad pins and needles if she didn’t get up; but since she wouldn’t dream of waking him, she had to think of something else to relieve it. And then she had an idea. She just needed to say, ‘Nonsense, you’re not feeling anything of the sort!’ and it was sure to go away. She said this to her leg, but being a realist, it only felt like a pin-cushion. However, she knew that she only had to keep going because giving in was not an option. She persevered, and her leg felt like hot needles were poking into it. Then, despite herself, she couldn’t help saying a little psalm. The sensation faded and left her leg completely numb. She wouldn’t have any strength in it at all when she got up. But that would be easy to fix once she could reach her bag with three doses of nux vomica—and dear Derek must not be woken up for anything! She waited like that until Nedda came back, and then she said, “Sssh!”

He woke at once, so that providentially she was able to get up, and, having stood with her weight on one leg for five minutes, so as to be quite sure she did not fall, she crossed back to the window, took her nux vomica, and sat down with her tablets to note down the little affairs she would require, while Nedda took her place beside the bed, to fan him. Having made her list, she went to Nedda and whispered that she was going down to see about one or two little things, and while she whispered she arranged the dear child's hair. If only she would keep it just like that, it would be so much more becoming! And she went down-stairs.

He woke up right away, allowing her to get up, and after standing on one leg for five minutes to make sure she wouldn’t fall, she crossed back to the window, took her nux vomica, and sat down with her tablet to jot down the little things she’d need, while Nedda took her place next to the bed to fan him. After making her list, she leaned over to Nedda and whispered that she was going downstairs to take care of a couple of things, all while fixing the dear girl’s hair. If only she would keep it like that, it would look so much better! Then she went downstairs.

Accustomed to the resources of Stanley's establishment, or at least to those of John's and Felix's, and of the hotels she stayed at, she felt for a moment just a little nonplussed at discovering at her disposal nothing but three dear little children playing with a dog, and one bicycle. For a few seconds she looked at the latter hard. If only it had been a tricycle! Then, feeling certain that she could not make it into one, she knew that she must make the best of it, especially as, in any case, she could not have used it, for it would never do to leave darling Nedda alone in the house. She decided therefore to look in every room to see if she could find the things she wanted. The dog, who had been attracted by her, left the children and came too, and the children, attracted by the dog, followed; so they all five went into a room on the ground floor. It was partitioned into two by a screen; in one portion was a rough camp bedstead, and in the other two dear little child's beds, that must once have been Derek's and Sheila's, and one still smaller, made out of a large packing-case. The eldest of the little children said:

Used to the comforts of Stanley's place, or at least to John's and Felix's, and the hotels she stayed at, she felt a bit bewildered when she discovered that all she had were three adorable little kids playing with a dog and one bicycle. For a few seconds, she stared at the bicycle, wishing it had been a tricycle. Then, realizing she couldn’t turn it into one, she knew she had to make the best of the situation, especially since she couldn't leave sweet Nedda alone in the house. So, she decided to check every room to see if she could find what she needed. The dog, drawn to her, left the kids and followed her, and the kids, drawn to the dog, followed as well; so all five of them went into a room on the ground floor. The room was divided by a screen; one side had a rough camp bed, and the other side had two cute little children's beds that must have belonged to Derek and Sheila, plus one even smaller bed made from a large packing crate. The oldest of the little kids said:

“That's where Billy sleeps, Susie sleeps here, and I sleeps there; and our father sleeped in here before he went to prison.” Frances Freeland experienced a shock. To prison! The idea of letting these little things know such a thing as that! The best face had so clearly not been put on it that she decided to put it herself.

“That's where Billy sleeps, Susie sleeps here, and I sleep there; and our dad slept in here before he went to prison.” Frances Freeland was taken aback. To prison! The thought of letting these little ones know something like that! It was obvious that the best spin hadn’t been put on it, so she decided to do it herself.

“Oh, not to prison, dear! Only into a house in the town for a little while.”

“Oh, not to prison, sweetheart! Just to a place in town for a bit.”

It seemed to her quite dreadful that they should know the truth—it was simply necessary to put it out of their heads. That dear little girl looked so old already, such a little mother! And, as they stood about her, she gazed piercingly at their heads. They were quite clean.

It felt really awful to her that they should know the truth—it was just essential to get it out of their minds. That sweet little girl looked so grown-up already, like such a little mom! And, as they gathered around her, she stared intensely at their heads. They were all pretty clean.

The second dear little thing said:

The second cute little thing said:

“We like bein' here; we hope Father won't be comin' back from prison for a long time, so as we can go on stayin' here. Mr. Freeland gives us apples.”

“We like being here; we hope Dad won't be coming back from prison for a long time so we can keep staying here. Mr. Freeland gives us apples.”

The failure of her attempt to put a nicer idea into their heads disconcerted Frances Freeland for a moment only. She said:

The failure of her attempt to get a better idea into their heads threw Frances Freeland off for just a moment. She said:

“Who told you he was in prison?”

“Who told you he was in jail?”

Biddy answered slowly: “Nobody didn't tell us; we picked it up.”

Biddy replied slowly, “No one told us; we figured it out.”

“Oh, but you should never pick things up! That's not at all nice. You don't know what harm they may do you.”

“Oh, but you should never pick things up! That's not nice at all. You don't know what harm they could do to you.”

Billy replied: “We picked up a dead cat yesterday. It didn't scratch a bit, it didn't.”

Billy replied, “We found a dead cat yesterday. It didn’t scratch at all, it really didn’t.”

And Biddy added: “Please, what is prison like?”

And Biddy asked, “What’s prison like?”

Pity seized on Frances Freeland for these little derelicts, whose heads and pinafores and faces were so clean. She pursed her lips very tight and said:

Pity overwhelmed Frances Freeland for these little outcasts, whose heads, pinafores, and faces were so clean. She pursed her lips tightly and said:

“Hold out your hands, all of you.”

“Everyone, raise your hands.”

Three small hands were held out, and three small pairs of gray-blue eyes looked up at her. From the recesses of her pocket she drew forth her purse, took from it three shillings, and placed one in the very centre of each palm. The three small hands closed; two small grave bodies dipped in little courtesies; the third remained stock-still, but a grin spread gradually on its face from ear to ear.

Three tiny hands were extended, and three small pairs of gray-blue eyes gazed up at her. From the depths of her pocket, she pulled out her purse, took out three shillings, and placed one in the middle of each palm. The three tiny hands closed; two serious little bodies bowed slightly, while the third stayed still, but a grin slowly spread across its face from ear to ear.

“What do you say?” said Frances Freeland.

“What do you think?” said Frances Freeland.

“Thank you.”

"Thanks."

“Thank you—what?”

"Thanks—what?"

“Thank you, ma'am.”

“Thank you, ma'am.”

“That's right. Now run away and play a nice game in the orchard.”

"That's right. Now go ahead and run off to play a nice game in the orchard."

The three turned immediately and went. A sound of whispering rose busily outside. Frances Freeland, glancing through the window, saw them unlatching the wicket gate. Sudden alarm seized her. She put out her head and called. Biddy came back.

The three immediately turned and left. A sound of whispering grew busy outside. Frances Freeland, looking through the window, saw them unfastening the small gate. A sudden panic hit her. She stuck her head out and called. Biddy came back.

“You mustn't spend them all at once.”

“You shouldn't spend them all at once.”

Biddy shook her head.

Biddy shook her head.

“No. Once we had a shillin', and we were sick. We're goin' to spend three pennies out of one shillin' every day, till they're gone.”

“No. Once we had a shilling, and we were sick. We're going to spend three pence from one shilling every day until they're gone.”

“And aren't you going to put any by for a rainy day?”

“And aren't you going to save any for a rainy day?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

Frances Freeland did not know what to answer. Dear little things!

Frances Freeland didn't know how to respond. Aw, sweet little things!

The dear little things vanished.

The cute little things disappeared.

In Tod's and Kirsteen's room she found a little table and a pillow, and something that might do, and having devised a contrivance by which this went into that and that into this and nothing whatever showed, she conveyed the whole very quietly up near dear Derek's room, and told darling Nedda to go down-stairs and look for something that she knew she would not find, for she could not think at the moment of any better excuse. When the child had gone, she popped this here, and popped that there. And there she was! And she felt better. It was no use whatever to make a fuss about that aspect of nursing which was not quite nice. One just put the best face upon it, quietly did what was necessary, and pretended that it was not there. Kirsteen had not seen to things quite as she should have. But then dear Kirsteen was so clever.

In Tod's and Kirsteen's room, she found a small table and a pillow, and something that might work. After coming up with a setup that let everything fit together without being obvious, she quietly carried it all up near dear Derek's room. She told sweet Nedda to go downstairs and look for something she knew she wouldn't find since she couldn't think of a better excuse at the moment. Once the child was gone, she placed this here and that there. And there she was! She felt better. There was no point in making a fuss about the less pleasant aspects of nursing. One just put on a brave face, quietly did what needed to be done, and acted like it wasn’t an issue. Kirsteen hadn’t managed things quite as she should have. But then, dear Kirsteen was so clever.

Her attitude, indeed, to that blue bird, who had alighted now twenty-one years ago in the Freeland nest, had always, after the first few shocks, been duly stoical. For, however her fastidiousness might jib at neglect of the forms of things, she was the last woman not to appreciate really sterling qualities. Though it was a pity dear Kirsteen did expose her neck and arms so that they had got quite brown, a pity that she never went to church and had brought up the dear children not to go, and to have ideas that were not quite right about 'the Land,' still she was emphatically a lady, and devoted to dear Tod, and very good. And her features were so regular, and she had such a good color, and was so slim and straight in the back, that she was always a pleasure to look at. And if she was not quite so practical as she might have been, that was not everything; and she would never get stout, as there was every danger of Clara doing. So that from the first she had always put a good face on her. Derek's voice interrupted her thoughts:

Her attitude toward that blue bird, which had settled in the Freeland nest twenty-one years ago, had always been pretty stoic after the initial shocks. Even though her fastidiousness might cringe at the neglect of certain conventions, she was certainly the last woman to overlook genuine qualities. It was unfortunate that dear Kirsteen had exposed her neck and arms to the sun, making them quite brown, and that she never attended church or raised her children with the same habits, leading them to have slightly misguided ideas about 'the Land.' Still, she was undoubtedly a lady, devoted to dear Tod, and very kind. Her features were perfectly regular, she had a great complexion, and she was slim and straight-backed, which made her a pleasure to look at. And while she might not have been as practical as she could have been, that wasn't everything; she would never get stout, unlike the very real risk that Clara faced. So from the beginning, she had always managed to put on a brave face. Derek's voice pulled her from her thoughts:

“I'm awfully thirsty, Granny.”

“I’m really thirsty, Grandma.”

“Yes, darling. Don't move your head; and just let me pop in some of this delicious lemonade with a spoon.”

“Yes, sweetie. Don't move your head; just let me pour some of this tasty lemonade with a spoon.”

Nedda, returning, found her supporting his head with one hand, while with the other she kept popping in the spoon, her soul smiling at him lovingly through her lips and eyes.

Nedda, coming back, found her holding his head up with one hand while with the other she kept feeding him with a spoon, her soul smiling at him lovingly through her lips and eyes.





CHAPTER XXXII

Felix went back to London the afternoon of Frances Freeland's installation, taking Sheila with him. She had been 'bound over to keep the peace'—a task which she would obviously be the better able to accomplish at a distance. And, though to take charge of her would be rather like holding a burning match till there was no match left, he felt bound to volunteer.

Felix returned to London in the afternoon for Frances Freeland's installation, bringing Sheila along. She had been 'ordered to keep the peace'—something she would clearly manage better from afar. And while taking care of her would be a bit like holding onto a burning match until it burned out, he felt obligated to step up.

He left Nedda with many misgivings; but had not the heart to wrench her away.

He left Nedda feeling very uncertain; but he didn’t have the heart to pull her away.

The recovery of a young man who means to get up to-morrow is not so rapid when his head, rather than his body, is the seat of trouble. Derek's temperament was against him. He got up several times in spirit, to find that his body had remained in bed. And this did not accelerate his progress. It had been impossible to dispossess Frances Freeland from command of the sick-room; and, since she was admittedly from experience and power of paying no attention to her own wants, the fittest person for the position, there she remained, taking turn and turn about with Nedda, and growing a little whiter, a little thinner, more resolute in face, and more loving in her eyes, from day to day. That tragedy of the old—the being laid aside from life before the spirit is ready to resign, the feeling that no one wants you, that all those you have borne and brought up have long passed out on to roads where you cannot follow, that even the thought-life of the world streams by so fast that you lie up in a backwater, feebly, blindly groping for the full of the water, and always pushed gently, hopelessly back; that sense that you are still young and warm, and yet so furbelowed with old thoughts and fashions that none can see how young and warm you are, none see how you long to rub hearts with the active, how you yearn for something real to do that can help life on, and how no one will give it you! All this—this tragedy—was for the time defeated. She was, in triumph, doing something real for those she loved and longed to do things for. She had Sheila's room.

The recovery of a young man who plans to get up tomorrow isn't as quick when his mind, rather than his body, is the source of the issue. Derek's temperament wasn’t on his side. He felt ready to get up several times, only to realize his body stayed in bed. This didn’t help his progress. It was impossible to remove Frances Freeland from managing the sick room. Given her experience and ability to ignore her own needs, she was the best person for the job, so she stayed, alternating with Nedda, becoming a bit paler, a bit thinner, more determined in her expression, and more loving in her gaze with each passing day. That old tragedy of being sidelined from life before your spirit is ready to let go—the feeling of being unwanted, the realization that everyone you’ve raised has moved on to paths you can't follow, that even the world’s thoughts move so quickly past you that you’re stuck in a backwater, blindly reaching for the abundant life, always gently, hopelessly pushed back. That awareness that you're still young and full of warmth, yet so burdened with outdated thoughts and styles that no one sees your youth and warmth, that no one realizes how much you want to connect with the active and how you crave something meaningful to do that contributes to life, and how no one offers you that opportunity! All of this—this tragedy—was momentarily overcome. She was, in a sense of victory, doing something real for those she loved and longed to help. She had Sheila's room.

For a week at least Derek asked no questions, made no allusion to the mutiny, not even to the cause of his own disablement. It had been impossible to tell whether the concussion had driven coherent recollection from his mind, or whether he was refraining from an instinct of self-preservation, barring such thoughts as too exciting. Nedda dreaded every day lest he should begin. She knew that the questions would fall on her, since no answer could possibly be expected from Granny except: “It's all right, darling, everything's going on perfectly—only you mustn't talk!”

For at least a week, Derek didn't ask any questions or bring up the mutiny, not even the reason for his own injury. It was hard to tell if the concussion had made him lose his ability to remember clearly, or if he was intentionally avoiding thoughts that were too overwhelming. Nedda feared each day might be the day he started talking. She realized that the questions would end up being directed at her, since no one would expect any answers from Granny other than, "It's okay, sweetheart, everything is going perfectly — just don't talk!"

It began the last day of June, the very first day that he got up.

It started on the last day of June, the very first morning he got up.

“They didn't save the hay, did they?”

“They didn’t save the hay, right?”

Was he fit to hear the truth? Would he forgive her if she did not tell it? If she lied about this, could she go on lying to his other questions? When he discovered, later, would not the effect undo the good of lies now? She decided to lie; but, when she opened her lips, simply could not, with his eyes on her; and said faintly: “Yes, they did.”

Was he ready to hear the truth? Would he forgive her if she chose not to share it? If she lied about this, could she keep lying to his other questions? When he found out later, wouldn’t the impact cancel out any good the lies would have done now? She decided to lie; but, when she opened her mouth, she just couldn’t, with his eyes on her; and said softly, “Yes, they did.”

His face contracted. She slipped down at once and knelt beside his chair. He said between his teeth:

His face tightened. She immediately slid down and knelt next to his chair. He said through clenched teeth:

“Go on; tell me. Did it all collapse?”

“Go ahead; tell me. Did everything fall apart?”

She could only stroke his hands and bow her head.

She could only caress his hands and lower her head.

“I see. What's happened to them?”

“I understand. What happened to them?”

Without looking up, she murmured:

Without looking up, she said:

“Some have been dismissed; the others are working again all right.”

“Some have been let go; the others are back to work just fine.”

“All right!”

"Okay!"

She looked up then so pitifully that he did not ask her anything more. But the news put him back a week. And she was in despair. The day he got up again he began afresh:

She looked up then so sadly that he didn’t ask her anything else. But the news set him back a week. And she was heartbroken. The day he got up again, he started over:

“When are the assizes?”

“When are the court sessions?”

“The 7th of August.”

“August 7th.”

“Has anybody been to see Bob Tryst?”

“Has anyone gone to see Bob Tryst?”

“Yes; Aunt Kirsteen has been twice.”

“Yes, Aunt Kirsteen has been there twice.”

Having been thus answered, he was quiet for a long time. She had slipped again out of her chair to kneel beside him; it seemed the only place from which she could find courage for her answers. He put his hand, that had lost its brown, on her hair. At that she plucked up spirit to ask:

Having been answered like that, he was silent for a long time. She had gotten out of her chair again to kneel beside him; it seemed like the only place where she could find the courage to speak. He placed his hand, which had lost its tan, on her hair. With that, she gathered enough strength to ask:

“Would you like me to go and see him?”

“Do you want me to go see him?”

He nodded.

He nodded.

“Then, I will—to-morrow.”

“Then, I will—tomorrow.”

“Don't ever tell me what isn't true, Nedda! People do; that's why I didn't ask before.”

“Never tell me what’s not true, Nedda! People do that; that’s why I didn’t ask earlier.”

She answered fervently:

She responded passionately:

“I won't! Oh, I won't!”

“I won't! Oh, no way!”

She dreaded this visit to the prison. Even to think of those places gave her nightmare. Sheila's description of her night in a cell had made her shiver with horror. But there was a spirit in Nedda that went through with things; and she started early the next day, refusing Kirsteen's proffered company.

She was anxious about this visit to the prison. Just thinking about those places gave her nightmares. Sheila's recounting of her night in a cell sent chills down her spine. But there was a determination in Nedda that pushed her to follow through; so she set out early the next day, turning down Kirsteen's offer to join her.

The look of that battlemented building, whose walls were pierced with emblems of the Christian faith, turned her heartsick, and she stood for several minutes outside the dark-green door before she could summon courage to ring the bell.

The sight of that fortified building, with its walls marked by symbols of the Christian faith, made her feel nauseous, and she stood for several minutes outside the dark-green door before she could gather the courage to ring the bell.

A stout man in blue, with a fringe of gray hair under his peaked cap, and some keys dangling from a belt, opened, and said:

A burly man in blue, with a fringe of gray hair peeking out from under his cap, and a bunch of keys hanging from his belt, opened up and said:

“Yes, miss?”

"Yes, ma'am?"

Being called 'miss' gave her a little spirit, and she produced the card she had been warming in her hand.

Being called 'miss' lifted her spirits a bit, and she pulled out the card she had been warming in her hand.

“I have come to see a man called Robert Tryst, waiting for trial at the assizes.”

“I have come to meet a man named Robert Tryst, who is waiting for trial at the assizes.”

The stout man looked at the card back and front, as is the way of those in doubt, closed the door behind her, and said:

The stout man examined the card from both sides, as people often do when they're unsure, closed the door behind her, and said:

“Just a minute, miss.”

"Hold on a sec, miss."

The shutting of the door behind her sent a little shiver down Nedda's spine; but the temperature of her soul was rising, and she looked round. Beyond the heavy arch, beneath which she stood, was a courtyard where she could see two men, also in blue, with peaked caps. Then, to her left, she became conscious of a shaven-headed noiseless being in drab-gray clothes, on hands and knees, scrubbing the end of a corridor. Her tremor at the stealthy ugliness of this crouching figure yielded at once to a spasm of pity. The man gave her a look, furtive, yet so charged with intense penetrating curiosity that it seemed to let her suddenly into innumerable secrets. She felt as if the whole life of people shut away in silence and solitude were disclosed to her in the swift, unutterably alive look of this noiseless kneeling creature, riving out of her something to feed his soul and body on. That look seemed to lick its lips. It made her angry, made her miserable, with a feeling of pity she could hardly bear. Tears, too startled to flow, darkened her eyes. Poor man! How he must hate her, who was free, and all fresh from the open world and the sun, and people to love and talk to! The 'poor man' scrubbed on steadily, his ears standing out from his shaven head; then, dragging his knee-mat skew-ways, he took the chance to look at her again. Perhaps because his dress and cap and stubble of hair and even the color of his face were so drab-gray, those little dark eyes seemed to her the most terribly living things she had ever seen. She felt that they had taken her in from top to toe, clothed and unclothed, taken in the resentment she had felt and the pity she was feeling; they seemed at once to appeal, to attack, and to possess her ravenously, as though all the starved instincts in a whole prisoned world had rushed up and for a second stood outside their bars. Then came the clank of keys, the eyes left her as swiftly as they had seized her, and he became again just that stealthy, noiseless creature scrubbing a stone floor. And, shivering, Nedda thought:

The door closing behind her sent a slight shiver down Nedda's spine; but her spirit was lifting, and she looked around. Beyond the heavy archway where she stood, she saw a courtyard with two men in blue peaked caps. To her left, she noticed a shaven-headed figure dressed in drab-gray clothes, quietly scrubbing the end of a corridor. Her initial discomfort at the silent ugliness of this crouching man quickly turned into a wave of pity. He glanced at her—furtive, yet filled with such intense curiosity that it suddenly revealed countless secrets to her. She felt as if the entire existence of people trapped in silence and solitude was laid bare to her through the swift, profoundly alive gaze of this silent kneeling figure, drawing from her something to sustain his soul and body. That look seemed to hunger for something. It made her angry and deeply sad, with a pity that was almost unbearable. Tears, startled and hesitant, darkened her eyes. Poor man! How he must resent her, who was free and fresh from the open world, the sun, and people to love and talk to! The "poor man" continued scrubbing steadily, his ears sticking out from his shaven head; then, adjusting his knee pad, he took a moment to look at her again. Perhaps because his clothes, cap, and stubble were all so drab-gray, those little dark eyes appeared to her as the most horrifyingly alive things she had ever seen. It felt as if they had scrutinized her from head to toe, understanding the resentment she felt and the pity she experienced; they seemed to appeal, to invade, and to devour her ravenously, as if the starved instincts of an entire imprisoned world had surged up and for a fleeting moment stood right outside their confines. Then the clank of keys broke the moment, the eyes released her as quickly as they had captured her, and he became just that silent, stealthy figure scrubbing a stone floor again. Shivering, Nedda thought:

'I can't bear myself here—me with everything in the world I want—and these with nothing!'

'I can't stand being here—I've got everything I want in the world—and they have nothing!'

But the stout janitor was standing by her again, together with another man in blue, who said:

But the sturdy janitor was standing next to her again, along with another man in blue, who said:

“Now, miss; this way, please!”

“Now, miss, this way, please!”

And down that corridor they went. Though she did not turn, she knew well that those eyes were following, still riving something from her; and she heaved a sigh of real relief when she was round a corner. Through barred windows that had no glass she could see another court, where men in the same drab-gray clothes printed with arrows were walking one behind the other, making a sort of moving human hieroglyphic in the centre of the concrete floor. Two warders with swords stood just outside its edge. Some of those walking had their heads up, their chests expanded, some slouched along with heads almost resting on their chests; but most had their eyes fixed on the back of the neck of the man in front; and there was no sound save the tramp of feet.

And down that corridor they went. Even though she didn't turn around, she knew those eyes were watching her, still taking something from her; and she sighed in real relief when she turned a corner. Through barred windows that had no glass, she could see another yard, where men in the same dull gray outfits marked with arrows were walking one behind another, creating a kind of moving human symbol in the middle of the concrete floor. Two guards with swords stood just outside its edge. Some of the men walking had their heads held high, their chests puffed out, while others slouched along with their heads almost resting on their chests; but most had their eyes fixed on the back of the neck of the man in front of them, and the only sound was the thud of their footsteps.

Nedda put her hand to her throat. The warder beside her said in a chatty voice:

Nedda touched her throat. The guard next to her said in a friendly tone:

“That's where the 'ards takes their exercise, miss. You want to see a man called Tryst, waitin' trial, I think. We've had a woman here to see him, and a lady in blue, once or twice.”

“That's where the 'ards get their exercise, miss. If you want to see a guy named Tryst, he's waiting for trial, I think. We've had a woman here to see him, and a lady in blue, once or twice.”

“My aunt.”

"My aunt."

“Ah! just so. Laborer, I think—case of arson. Funny thing; never yet found a farm-laborer that took to prison well.”

“Ah! exactly. Worker, I believe—it's a case of arson. Strange thing; I've never come across a farm worker who handles prison well.”

Nedda shivered. The words sounded ominous. Then a little flame lit itself within her.

Nedda shivered. The words felt threatening. Then a small flame ignited inside her.

“Does anybody ever 'take to' prison?”

“Does anyone ever 'take to' prison?”

The warder uttered a sound between a grunt and chuckle.

The guard made a noise that was a mix between a grunt and a chuckle.

“There's some has a better time here than they have out, any day. No doubt about it—they're well fed here.”

“Some people have a better time here than they do out there, any day. No doubt about it—they're well fed here.”

Her aunt's words came suddenly into Nedda's mind: 'Liberty's a glorious feast!' But she did not speak them.

Her aunt's words suddenly popped into Nedda's mind: 'Freedom's a wonderful celebration!' But she didn't say them.

“Yes,” the warder proceeded, “some o' them we get look as if they didn't have a square meal outside from one year's end to the other. If you'll just wait a minute, miss, I'll fetch the man down to you.”

“Yes,” the guard continued, “some of them we get look like they haven't had a decent meal outside in ages. If you could just wait a moment, miss, I’ll bring the man down to you.”

In a bare room with distempered walls, and bars to a window out of which she could see nothing but a high brick wall, Nedda waited. So rapid is the adjustment of the human mind, so quick the blunting of human sensation, that she had already not quite the passion of pitiful feeling which had stormed her standing under that archway. A kind of numbness gripped her nerves. There were wooden forms in this room, and a blackboard, on which two rows of figures had been set one beneath the other, but not yet added up.

In a bare room with shabby walls and bars on a window through which she could see nothing but a tall brick wall, Nedda waited. The human mind adjusts quickly, and feelings dull just as fast; she no longer felt the intense pity that had overwhelmed her while standing under that archway. A sort of numbness took hold of her nerves. The room had wooden benches and a blackboard, on which two rows of numbers were written one below the other, but still not added up.

The silence at first was almost deathly. Then it was broken by a sound as of a heavy door banged, and the shuffling tramp of marching men—louder, louder, softer—a word of command—still softer, and it died away. Dead silence again! Nedda pressed her hands to her breast. Twice she added up those figures on the blackboard; each time the number was the same. Ah, there was a fly—two flies! How nice they looked, moving, moving, chasing each other in the air. Did flies get into the cells? Perhaps not even a fly came there—nothing more living than walls and wood! Nothing living except what was inside oneself! How dreadful! Not even a clock ticking, not even a bird's song! Silent, unliving, worse than in this room! Something pressed against her leg. She started violently and looked down. A little cat! Oh, what a blessed thing! A little sandy, ugly cat! It must have crept in through the door. She was not locked in, then, anyway! Thus far had nerves carried her already! Scrattling the little cat's furry pate, she pulled herself together. She would not tremble and be nervous. It was disloyal to Derek and to her purpose, which was to bring comfort to poor Tryst. Then the door was pushed open, and the warder said:

The silence at first was almost eerie. Then it was interrupted by the sound of a heavy door slamming and the heavy footsteps of marching men—growing louder, then softer—a command was given—still softer, and it faded away. Dead silence again! Nedda pressed her hands to her chest. Twice she calculated those figures on the blackboard; each time the number was the same. Ah, there was a fly—two flies! How nice they looked, flying around, chasing each other in the air. Did flies get into the cells? Maybe not even a fly made it in there—nothing alive except the walls and wood! Nothing living except what was inside her! How awful! Not even a clock ticking, not even a bird singing! Silent, lifeless, worse than in this room! Something brushed against her leg. She jumped and looked down. A little cat! Oh, what a wonderful thing! A little sandy, scrappy cat! It must have snuck in through the door. So she wasn’t locked in after all! Her nerves had taken her this far! Petting the little cat’s furry head, she steadied herself. She wouldn’t shake and feel anxious. That would be disloyal to Derek and to her mission, which was to bring comfort to poor Tryst. Then the door swung open, and the warder said:

“A quarter of an hour, miss. I'll be just outside.”

“A quarter of an hour, miss. I’ll be right outside.”

She saw a big man with unshaven cheeks come in, and stretched out her hand.

She saw a big guy with stubbly cheeks walk in and reached out her hand.

“I am Mr. Derek's cousin, going to be married to him. He's been ill, but he's getting well again now. We knew you'd like to hear.” And she thought: 'Oh! What a tragic face! I can't bear to look at his eyes!'

“I’m Mr. Derek's cousin, and I'm going to marry him. He’s been sick, but he’s getting better now. We knew you’d want to know.” And she thought: 'Oh! What a heartbreaking face! I can’t stand to look into his eyes!'

He took her hand, said, “Thank you, miss,” and stood as still as ever.

He took her hand and said, “Thanks, miss,” then stood as still as ever.

“Please come and sit down, and we can talk.”

“Come and take a seat, and we can chat.”

Tryst moved to a form and took his seat thereon, with his hands between his knees, as if playing with an imaginary cap. He was dressed in an ordinary suit of laborer's best clothes, and his stiff, dust-colored hair was not cut particularly short. The cheeks of his square-cut face had fallen in, the eyes had sunk back, and the prominence thus given to his cheek and jawbones and thick mouth gave his face a savage look—only his dog-like, terribly yearning eyes made Nedda feel so sorry that she simply could not feel afraid.

Tryst moved to a chair and sat down, his hands resting between his knees as if he were fiddling with an invisible cap. He wore a standard laborer’s outfit, and his stiff, dusty-colored hair wasn’t cut very short. His square face had hollowed out, his eyes were recessed, and the way his cheekbones and jawline stood out, along with his thick mouth, gave his face a fierce look—only his dog-like, desperately longing eyes made Nedda feel so much sympathy that she simply couldn’t feel afraid.

“The children are such dears, Mr. Tryst. Billy seems to grow every day. They're no trouble at all, and quite happy. Biddy's wonderful with them.”

“The kids are such gems, Mr. Tryst. Billy seems to grow taller every day. They’re no trouble at all and really happy. Biddy is amazing with them.”

“She's a good maid.” The thick lips shaped the words as though they had almost lost power of speech.

“She's a great maid.” The thick lips formed the words as if they had almost lost the ability to speak.

“Do they let you see the newspapers we send? Have you got everything you want?”

“Do they let you see the newspapers we send? Do you have everything you need?”

For a minute he did not seem to be going to answer; then, moving his head from side to side, he said:

For a moment, he didn't seem like he was going to respond; then, shaking his head back and forth, he said:

“Nothin' I want, but just get out of here.”

“Nothin' I want, but just get out of here.”

Nedda murmured helplessly:

Nedda whispered helplessly:

“It's only a month now to the assizes. Does Mr. Pogram come to see you?”

“It's just a month until the court session. Is Mr. Pogram coming to see you?”

“Yes, he comes. He can't do nothin'!”

“Yes, he’s coming. He can’t do anything!”

“Oh, don't despair! Even if they don't acquit you, it'll soon be over. Don't despair!” And she stole her hand out and timidly touched his arm. She felt her heart turning over and over, he looked so sad.

“Oh, don’t be discouraged! Even if they don’t clear you, it’ll be over soon. Don’t be discouraged!” And she gently slipped her hand out and shyly touched his arm. She felt her heart fluttering, he looked so sorrowful.

He said in that stumbling, thick voice:

He said in that awkward, deep voice:

“Thank you kindly. I must get out. I won't stand long of it—not much longer. I'm not used to it—always been accustomed to the air, an' bein' about, that's where 'tis. But don't you tell him, miss. You say I'm goin' along all right. Don't you tell him what I said. 'Tis no use him frettin' over me. 'Twon' do me no good.”

“Thank you so much. I really need to leave. I can't handle it much longer. I'm not used to this—I’ve always been used to fresh air and being out and about, that's the key. But don't tell him, miss. Just say I'm doing fine. Don’t mention what I said. There's no point in him worrying about me. It won't help me at all.”

And Nedda murmured:

And Nedda whispered:

“No, no; I won't tell him.”

“No, no; I won’t tell him.”

Then suddenly came the words she had dreaded:

Then suddenly came the words she had feared:

“D'you think they'll let me go, miss?”

“Do you think they’ll let me go, miss?”

“Oh, yes, I think so—I hope so!” But she could not meet his eyes, and hearing him grit his boot on the floor knew he had not believed her.

“Oh, yes, I think so—I hope so!” But she couldn’t look him in the eyes, and hearing him scrape his boot on the floor, she knew he didn’t believe her.

He said slowly:

He said slowly:

“I never meant to do it when I went out that mornin'. It came on me sudden, lookin' at the straw.”

“I never meant to do it when I went out that morning. It hit me out of nowhere, looking at the straw.”

Nedda gave a little gasp. Could that man outside hear?

Nedda let out a small gasp. Could that guy outside hear?

Tryst went on: “If they don't let me go, I won' stand it. 'Tis too much for a man. I can't sleep, I can't eat, nor nothin'. I won' stand it. It don' take long to die, if you put your mind to it.”

Tryst continued, “If they don’t let me go, I won’t be able to handle it. It’s too much for someone. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, or do anything. I won’t stand it. It doesn’t take long to die if you really want to.”

Feeling quite sick with pity, Nedda got up and stood beside him; and, moved by an uncontrollable impulse, she lifted one of his great hands and clasped it in both her own. “Oh, try and be brave and look forward! You're going to be ever so happy some day.”

Feeling a wave of pity, Nedda got up and stood next to him; and, driven by an irresistible impulse, she took one of his large hands and held it in both of hers. “Oh, please try to be brave and look ahead! You're going to be really happy someday.”

He gave her a strange long stare.

He looked at her with a weird, long stare.

“Yes, I'll be happy some day. Don' you never fret about me.”

“Yes, I'll be happy someday. Don't worry about me.”

And Nedda saw that the warder was standing in the doorway.

And Nedda saw that the guard was standing in the doorway.

“Sorry, miss, time's up.”

“Sorry, miss, time's up.”

Without a word Tryst rose and went out.

Without saying a word, Tryst stood up and left.

Nedda was alone again with the little sandy cat. Standing under the high-barred window she wiped her cheeks, that were all wet. Why, why must people suffer so? Suffer so slowly, so horribly? What were men made of that they could go on day after day, year after year, watching others suffer?

Nedda was alone again with the little sandy cat. Standing under the high-barred window, she wiped her tear-streaked cheeks. Why do people have to suffer so? Suffer so slowly, so terribly? What are people made of that they can go on day after day, year after year, watching others in pain?

When the warder came back to take her out, she did not trust herself to speak, or even to look at him. She walked with hands tight clenched, and eyes fixed on the ground. Outside the prison door she drew a long, long breath. And suddenly her eyes caught the inscription on the corner of a lane leading down alongside the prison wall—“Love's Walk”!

When the guard came back to take her out, she didn’t trust herself to speak or even to look at him. She walked with her hands tightly clenched and her eyes fixed on the ground. Outside the prison door, she took a deep breath. And suddenly, her eyes caught the inscription on the corner of a lane leading down beside the prison wall—“Love's Walk”!





CHAPTER XXXIII

Peremptorily ordered by the doctor to the sea, but with instructions to avoid for the present all excitement, sunlight, and color, Derek and his grandmother repaired to a spot well known to be gray, and Nedda went home to Hampstead. This was the last week in July. A fortnight spent in the perfect vacuity of an English watering-place restored the boy wonderfully. No one could be better trusted than Frances Freeland to preserve him from looking on the dark side of anything, more specially when that thing was already not quite nice. Their conversation was therefore free from allusion to the laborers, the strike, or Bob Tryst. And Derek thought the more. The approaching trial was hardly ever out of his mind. Bathing, he would think of it; sitting on the gray jetty looking over the gray sea, he would think of it. Up the gray cobbled streets and away on the headlands, he would think of it. And, so as not to have to think of it, he would try to walk himself to a standstill. Unfortunately the head will continue working when the legs are at rest. And when he sat opposite to her at meal-times, Frances Freeland would gaze piercingly at his forehead and muse: 'The dear boy looks much better, but he's getting a little line between his brows—it IS such a pity!' It worried her, too, that the face he was putting on their little holiday together was not quite as full as she could have wished—though the last thing in the world she could tolerate were really fat cheeks, those signs of all that her stoicism abhorred, those truly unforgivable marks of the loss of 'form.' He struck her as dreadfully silent, too, and she would rack her brains for subjects that would interest him, often saying to herself: 'If only I were clever!' It was natural he should think of dear Nedda, but surely it was not that which gave him the little line. He must be brooding about those other things. He ought not to be melancholy like this and let anything prevent the sea from doing him good. The habit—hard-learned by the old, and especially the old of her particular sex—of not wishing for the moon, or at all events of not letting others know that you are wishing for it, had long enabled Frances Freeland to talk cheerfully on the most indifferent subjects whether or no her heart were aching. One's heart often did ache, of course, but it simply didn't do to let it interfere, making things uncomfortable for others. And once she said to him: “You know, darling, I think it would be so nice for you to take a little interest in politics. They're very absorbing when you once get into them. I find my paper most enthralling. And it really has very good principles.”

Peremptorily ordered by the doctor to the sea, with instructions to avoid all excitement, sunlight, and color for now, Derek and his grandmother went to a place known for its grayness, while Nedda headed home to Hampstead. It was the last week of July. A fortnight spent in the complete emptiness of an English seaside resort worked wonders for the boy. No one could be better trusted than Frances Freeland to keep him from looking at the negative side of things, especially when those things were already not very pleasant. Their conversations completely avoided topics like the laborers, the strike, or Bob Tryst. And Derek thought about it even more. The upcoming trial was hardly ever off his mind. While bathing, he would think about it; sitting on the gray jetty overlooking the gray sea, he would think about it. Walking up the gray cobbled streets and along the headlands, he would think about it. And in his attempts to distract himself, he would try to walk until he could go no further. Unfortunately, the mind keeps working even when the legs are at rest. During meals, when he sat across from her, Frances Freeland would stare intently at his forehead and think, 'The dear boy looks much better, but he's getting a little line between his brows—it’s such a pity!' She also worried that the face he wore during their little holiday together wasn’t quite as full as she would have liked—though the last thing she could stand were truly chubby cheeks, those signs of everything her stoicism detested, those truly unforgivable marks of losing 'form.' He seemed terribly quiet, and she would strain to think of topics that might interest him, often reminding herself, 'If only I were clever!' It was natural for him to think of dear Nedda, but surely that wasn’t what caused the little line on his forehead. He must be brooding about those other matters. He shouldn’t be so melancholy and let anything stop the sea from doing him good. The habit—hard-earned by the elders, especially those of her particular gender—of not wishing for the impossible, or at least not letting others know you are wishing for it, had long allowed Frances Freeland to chat cheerfully about the most mundane topics, whether or not her heart were aching. Of course, one’s heart often did ache, but it simply didn’t do to let it interfere, creating discomfort for others. Once, she said to him, “You know, darling, I think it would be so nice for you to take a little interest in politics. They’re really engaging once you dive into them. I find my newspaper absolutely fascinating. And it really has very solid principles.”

“If politics did anything for those who most need things done, Granny—but I can't see that they do.”

“If politics helped those who need it the most, Granny—but I just don’t see that happening.”

She thought a little, then, making firm her lips, said:

She thought for a moment, then, setting her lips firmly, said:

“I don't think that's quite just, darling, there are a great many politicians who are very much looked up to—all the bishops, for instance, and others whom nobody could suspect of self-seeking.”

“I don't think that's fair, sweetheart. There are a lot of politicians who are really respected—like all the bishops, for example, and others whom no one could accuse of being selfish.”

“I didn't mean that politicians were self-seeking, Granny; I meant that they're comfortable people, and the things that interest them are those that interest comfortable people. What have they done for the laborers, for instance?”

“I didn’t mean to say politicians are just looking out for themselves, Granny; I meant that they’re well-off people, and the things that catch their attention are the things that matter to well-off people. What have they done for the workers, for example?”

“Oh, but, darling! they're going to do a great deal. In my paper they're continually saying that.”

“Oh, but, darling! They're going to do a lot. In my paper, they keep saying that.”

“Do you believe it?”

"Do you really believe it?"

“I'm sure they wouldn't say so if they weren't. There's quite a new plan, and it sounds most sensible. And so I don't think, darling, that if I were you I should make myself unhappy about all that kind of thing. They must know best. They're all so much older than you. And you're getting quite a little line between your eyes.”

“I'm sure they wouldn't say it if it weren't true. There's a new plan, and it sounds really sensible. So, darling, I don’t think you should make yourself upset over all that. They must know what they're talking about; they're all a lot older than you. And you're starting to get a little line between your eyes.”

Derek smiled.

Derek grinned.

“All right, Granny; I shall have a big one soon.”

“All right, Granny; I’ll have a big one soon.”

 Frances Freeland smiled, too, but shook her head.
Frances Freeland smiled as well, but shook her head.

“Yes; and that's why I really think you ought to take interest in politics.”

“Yes, and that’s why I really think you should get involved in politics.”

“I'd rather take interest in you, Granny. You're very jolly to look at.”

“I’d rather pay attention to you, Granny. You’re really cheerful to look at.”

Frances Freeland raised her brows.

Frances Freeland raised her eyebrows.

“I? My dear, I'm a perfect fright nowadays.”

“I? My dear, I’m a complete mess these days.”

Thus pushing away what her stoicism and perpetual aspiration to an impossibly good face would not suffer her to admit, she added:

Thus pushing away what her calm demeanor and constant desire for an impossibly perfect appearance would not let her acknowledge, she added:

“Where would you like to drive this afternoon?”

“Where do you want to go for a drive this afternoon?”

For they took drives in a small victoria, Frances Freeland holding her sunshade to protect him from the sun whenever it made the mistake of being out.

For they took rides in a small victoria, Frances Freeland holding her sunshade to shield him from the sun whenever it made the error of shining.

On August the fourth he insisted that he was well and must go back home. And, though to bring her attendance on him to an end was a grief, she humbly admitted that he must be wanting younger company, and, after one wistful attempt, made no further bones. The following day they travelled.

On August 4th, he insisted that he was fine and needed to go back home. And although it was painful for her to stop attending to him, she reluctantly accepted that he probably wanted younger company, and after one longing attempt, she didn't push it any further. The next day, they traveled.

On getting home he found that the police had been to see little Biddy Tryst, who was to be called as a witness. Tod would take her over on the morning of the trial. Derek did not wait for this, but on the day before the assizes repacked his bag and went off to the Royal Charles Hostel at Worcester. He slept not at all that night, and next morning was early at the court, for Tryst's case would be the first. Anxiously he sat watching all the queer and formal happenings that mark the initiation of the higher justice—the assemblage of the gentlemen in wigs; the sifting, shifting, settling of clerks, and ushers, solicitors, and the public; the busy indifference, the cheerful professionalism of it all. He saw little Mr. Pogram come in, more square and rubbery than ever, and engage in conclave with one of the bewigged. The smiles, shrugs, even the sharp expressions on that barrister's face; the way he stood, twisting round, one hand wrapped in his gown, one foot on the bench behind; it was all as if he had done it hundreds of times before and cared not the snap of one of his thin, yellow fingers. Then there was a sudden hush; the judge came in, bowed, and took his seat. And that, too, seemed so professional. Haunted by the thought of him to whom this was almost life and death, the boy was incapable of seeing how natural it was that they should not all feel as he did.

When he got home, he found that the police had visited little Biddy Tryst, who was set to be a witness. Tod would take her over on the morning of the trial. Derek didn't wait for that; instead, on the day before the trial, he repacked his bag and went to the Royal Charles Hostel in Worcester. He didn't sleep at all that night and was at the court early the next morning, as Tryst's case would be the first. Anxiously, he sat watching all the strange and formal rituals that characterize the start of a high-profile courtroom—judges in wigs assembling, clerks, ushers, solicitors, and the public bustling about; the busy indifference, the cheerful professionalism of it all. He saw little Mr. Pogram walk in, looking more square and rubbery than ever, and meet privately with one of the barristers. The smiles, shrugs, and even the sharp expressions on that barrister's face; the way he stood, twisting around with one hand wrapped in his gown, one foot on the bench behind him; it all seemed like something he had done countless times before and didn’t care about at all. Then there was a sudden hush; the judge entered, bowed, and took his seat. Even that felt so professional. Haunted by the thought of this being almost life and death for someone, the boy couldn't understand why they didn't all feel as he did.

The case was called and Tryst brought in. Derek had once more to undergo the torture of those tragic eyes fixed on him. Round that heavy figure, that mournful, half-brutal, and half-yearning face, the pleadings, the questions, the answers buzzed, bringing out facts with damning clearness, yet leaving the real story of that early morning as hidden as if the court and all were but gibbering figures of air. The real story of Tryst, heavy and distraught, rising and turning out from habit into the early haze on the fields, where his daily work had lain, of Tryst brooding, with the slow, the wrathful incoherence that centuries of silence in those lonely fields had passed into the blood of his forebears and himself. Brooding, in the dangerous disproportion that enforced continence brings to certain natures, loading the brain with violence till the storm bursts and there leap out the lurid, dark insanities of crime. Brooding, while in the air flies chased each other, insects crawled together in the grass, and the first principle of nature worked everywhere its sane fulfilment. They might talk and take evidence as they would, be shrewd and sharp with all the petty sharpness of the Law; but the secret springs would still lie undisclosed, too natural and true to bear the light of day. The probings and eloquence of justice would never paint the picture of that moment of maniacal relief, when, with jaw hanging loose, eyes bulging in exultation of revenge, he had struck those matches with his hairy hands and let them flare in the straw, till the little red flames ran and licked, rustled and licked, and there was nothing to do but watch them lick and burn. Nor of that sudden wildness of dumb fear that rushed into the heart of the crouching creature, changing the madness of his face to palsy. Nor of the recoil from the burning stack; those moments empty with terror. Nor of how terror, through habit of inarticulate, emotionless existence, gave place again to brute stolidity. And so, heavily back across the dewy fields, under the larks' songs, the cooings of pigeons, the hum of wings, and all the unconscious rhythm of ageless Nature. No! The probings of Justice could never reach the whole truth. And even Justice quailed at its own probings when the mother-child was passed up from Tod's side into the witness-box and the big laborer was seen to look at her and she at him. She seemed to have grown taller; her pensive little face and beautifully fluffed-out corn-brown hair had an eerie beauty, perched up there in the arid witness-box, as of some small figure from the brush of Botticelli.

The case was called and Tryst was brought in. Derek once again had to endure the agony of those tragic eyes on him. Around that heavy figure, that sorrowful, half-brutal and half-yearning face, the pleadings, questions, and answers buzzed, revealing facts with heartbreaking clarity, yet leaving the true story of that early morning as hidden as if the court and everyone in it were just blurred figures made of air. The real story of Tryst, weighed down and distraught, rising and wandering out of habit into the early haze of the fields, where he normally worked, of Tryst brooding, with the slow, angry incoherence that centuries of silence in those lonely fields had seeped into the blood of his ancestors and himself. Brooding, in the dangerous imbalance that forced restraint brings to certain natures, burdening the mind with rage until the storm breaks and the lurid, dark madness of crime erupts. Brooding, while in the air, flies chased each other, insects crawled together in the grass, and the basic principles of nature fulfilled their purpose everywhere. They could talk and gather evidence as much as they wanted, be clever and shrewd with all the petty sharpness of the Law; but the hidden motivations would remain undisclosed, too natural and true to face the light of day. The probings and eloquence of justice would never illustrate the moment of maniacal relief when, with his jaw hanging loosely and eyes bulging with the joy of revenge, he struck those matches with his hairy hands and let them catch fire in the straw, watching as the little red flames ran and flickered, rustled and danced, leaving him nothing to do but watch them burn. Nor would it capture that sudden wild fear that rushed into the heart of the crouching creature, changing the madness in his face to paralysis. Nor the recoil from the burning stack; those moments frozen with terror. Nor how fear, from a habit of silent, emotionless existence, gave way again to brute stoicism. And so, heavily back across the dewy fields, under the songs of larks, the cooing of pigeons, the hum of wings, and all the unconscious rhythm of timeless Nature. No! The inquiries of Justice could never reach the whole truth. Even Justice recoiled at its own inquiries when the mother-child was brought from Tod's side into the witness box and the big laborer was seen looking at her and she at him. She seemed to have grown taller; her thoughtful little face and beautifully fluffed-out corn-brown hair held an eerie beauty, standing there in the bare witness box, like a small figure from a Botticelli painting.

“Your name, my dear?”

"What's your name, my dear?"

“Biddy Tryst.”

“Biddy Hangout.”

“How old?”

"What's your age?"

“Ten next month, please.”

"Ten next month, thanks."

“Do you remember going to live at Mr. Freeland's cottage?”

“Do you remember moving to Mr. Freeland's cottage?”

“Yes, sir.”

"Yes, sir."

“And do you remember the first night?”

“And do you remember the first night?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Absolutely, sir.”

“Where did you sleep, Biddy?”

"Where did you crash, Biddy?"

“Please, sir, we slept in a big room with a screen. Billy and Susie and me; and father behind the screen.”

“Please, sir, we slept in a big room with a partition. Billy, Susie, and I; and Dad was behind the partition.”

“And where was the room?”

“Where was the room?”

“Down-stairs, sir.”

“Downstairs, sir.”

“Now, Biddy, what time did you wake up the first morning?”

“Now, Biddy, what time did you get up the first morning?”

“When Father got up.”

“When Dad got up.”

“Was that early or late?”

“Was that early or late?”

“Very early.”

"Really early."

“Would you know the time?”

“Do you know the time?”

“No, sir.”

"No, thanks."

“But it was very early; how did you know that?”

“But it was really early; how did you know that?”

“It was a long time before we had any breakfast.”

“It took a while before we had any breakfast.”

“And what time did you have breakfast?”

“And what time did you eat breakfast?”

“Half past six by the kitchen clock.”

“6:30 according to the kitchen clock.”

“Was it light when you woke up?”

“Was it light when you got up?”

“Yes, sir.”

"Yes, sir."

“When Father got up, did he dress or did he go to bed again?”

“When Dad got up, did he get dressed or did he go back to bed?”

“He hadn't never undressed, sir.”

"He never undressed, sir."

“Then did he stay with you or did he go out?”

“Did he stay with you or did he go out?”

“Out, sir.”

"Get out, sir."

“And how long was it before he came back?”

“And how long was it before he came back?”

“When I was puttin' on Billy's boots.”

“When I was putting on Billy's boots.”

“What had you done in between?”

“What did you do in between?”

“Helped Susie and dressed Billy.”

“Helped Susie and got Billy dressed.”

“And how long does that take you generally?”

“And how long does that usually take you?”

“Half an hour, sir.”

"30 minutes, sir."

“I see. What did Father look like when he came in, Biddy?”

“I see. What did Dad look like when he came in, Biddy?”

The mother-child paused. For the first time it seemed to dawn on her that there was something dangerous in these questions. She twisted her small hands before her and gazed at her father.

The mother-child paused. For the first time, it seemed to hit her that there was something dangerous in these questions. She twisted her small hands in front of her and looked at her father.

The judge said gently:

The judge said softly:

“Well, my child?”

"Well, my kid?"

“Like he does now, sir.”

“Like he does now, sir.”

“Thank you, Biddy.”

“Thanks, Biddy.”

That was all; the mother-child was suffered to step down and take her place again by Tod. And in the silence rose the short and rubbery report of little Mr. Pogram blowing his nose. No evidence given that morning was so conclusive, actual, terrible as that unconscious: “Like he does now, sir.” That was why even Justice quailed a little at its own probings.

That was it; the mother and child were allowed to step down and return to their spot beside Tod. And in the quiet, the faint sound of little Mr. Pogram blowing his nose could be heard. Nothing presented that morning was as decisive, real, or horrifying as that unintentional remark: “Like he does now, sir.” That’s why even Justice felt a bit uneasy during its own questioning.

From this moment the boy knew that Tryst's fate was sealed. What did all those words matter, those professional patterings one way and the other; the professional jeers: 'My friend has told you this' and 'My friend will tell you that.' The professional steering of the impartial judge, seated there above them all; the cold, calculated rhapsodies about the heinousness of arson; the cold and calculated attack on the characters of the stone-breaker witness and the tramp witness; the cold and calculated patter of the appeal not to condemn a father on the evidence of his little child; the cold and calculated outburst on the right of every man to be assumed innocent except on overwhelming evidence such as did not here exist. The cold and calculated balancing of pro and con; and those minutes of cold calculation veiled from the eyes of the court. Even the verdict: 'Guilty'; even the judgment: 'Three years' penal servitude.' All nothing, all superfluity to the boy supporting the tragic gaze of Tryst's eyes and making up his mind to a desperate resort.

From this moment, the boy realized that Tryst's fate was sealed. What did all those words mean, those professional arguments going back and forth; the professional jeers: "My friend has told you this" and "My friend will tell you that"? The professional manipulation of the impartial judge, sitting above them all; the cold, calculated rants about the seriousness of arson; the cold and calculated attacks on the characters of the stone-breaker witness and the homeless witness; the cold and calculated plea not to condemn a father based on the testimony of his young child; the cold and calculated outburst about every person's right to be presumed innocent unless there’s overwhelming evidence, which didn’t exist here. The cold and calculated weighing of pros and cons; and those minutes of cold calculation hidden from the eyes of the court. Even the verdict: "Guilty"; even the sentence: "Three years' imprisonment." All of it meant nothing, all unnecessary to the boy who was holding Tryst's tragic gaze and deciding on a desperate course of action.

“Three years' penal servitude!” The big laborer paid no more attention to those words than to any others spoken during that hour's settlement of his fate. True, he received them standing, as is the custom, fronting the image of Justice, from whose lips they came. But by no single gesture did he let any one see the dumb depths of his soul. If life had taught him nothing else, it had taught him never to express himself. Mute as any bullock led into the slaughtering-house, with something of a bullock's dulled and helpless fear in his eyes, he passed down and away between his jailers. And at once the professional noises rose, and the professional rhapsodists, hunching their gowns, swept that little lot of papers into their pink tape, and, turning to their neighbors, smiled, and talked, and jerked their eyebrows.

“Three years of hard labor!” The big laborer paid no more attention to those words than he did to anything else said during that hour of deciding his fate. Sure, he stood as is customary, facing the image of Justice, from where the words came. But he didn’t show a single sign of the deep emotions inside him. If life had taught him anything, it was to keep his feelings to himself. Silent like a bull being led to slaughter, with a hint of a bull’s dull and helpless fear in his eyes, he moved down and away between his guards. Immediately, the professional chatter began, and the legal clerks, adjusting their robes, gathered the small stack of papers into their pink tape, then turned to their colleagues, smiling, chatting, and raising their eyebrows.





CHAPTER XXXIV

The nest on the Spaniard's Road had not been able to contain Sheila long. There are certain natures, such as that of Felix, to whom the claims and exercise of authority are abhorrent, who refuse to exercise it themselves and rage when they see it exercised over others, but who somehow never come into actual conflict with it. There are other natures, such as Sheila's, who do not mind in the least exercising authority themselves, but who oppose it vigorously when they feel it coming near themselves or some others. Of such is the kingdom of militancy. Her experience with the police had sunk deep into her soul. They had not, as a fact, treated her at all badly, which did not prevent her feeling as if they had outraged in her the dignity of woman. She arrived, therefore, in Hampstead seeing red even where red was not. And since, undoubtedly, much real red was to be seen, there was little other color in the world or in her cheeks those days. Long disagreements with Alan, to whom she was still a magnet but whose Stanley-like nature stood firm against the blandishments of her revolting tongue, drove her more and more toward a decision the seeds of which had, perhaps, been planted during her former stay among the breezy airs of Hampstead.

The nest on the Spaniard's Road couldn't hold Sheila for long. There are certain personalities, like Felix's, who can't stand authority; they refuse to use it themselves and get upset when they see it used on others, yet they somehow never confront it directly. Then there are others, like Sheila, who have no problem exercising authority but will strongly oppose it when it threatens them or someone else. This is the nature of conflict. Her experiences with the police had left a mark on her. They hadn’t actually treated her poorly, but she still felt they had violated her dignity as a woman. So, she arrived in Hampstead feeling angry, even when there was no real cause for it. And since there was plenty to be genuinely upset about, there wasn't much else in the world or in her complexion during those days. Ongoing arguments with Alan, to whom she was still drawn but whose steadfast nature resisted the irritation of her provocative words, pushed her closer and closer to a decision that may have been brewing since her previous time in the refreshing air of Hampstead.

Felix, coming one day into his wife's study—for the house knew not the word drawing-room—found Flora, with eyebrows lifted up and smiling lips, listening to Sheila proclaiming the doctrine that it was impossible not to live 'on one's own.' Nothing else—Felix learned—was compatible with dignity, or even with peace of mind. She had, therefore, taken a back room high up in a back street, in which she was going to live perfectly well on ten shillings a week; and, having thirty-two pounds saved up, she would be all right for a year, after which she would be able to earn her living. The principle she purposed to keep before her eyes was that of committing herself to nothing which would seriously interfere with her work in life. Somehow, it was impossible to look at this girl, with her glowing cheeks and her glowing eyes, and her hair frizzy from ardor, and to distrust her utterances. Yes! She would arrive, if not where she wanted, at all events somewhere; which, after all, was the great thing. And in fact she did arrive the very next day in the back room high up in the back street, and neither Tod's cottage nor the house on the Spaniard's Road saw more than flying gleams of her, thenceforth.

Felix walked into his wife's study one day—since the house didn't have a drawing-room—and found Flora, with raised eyebrows and a smile, listening to Sheila as she declared that it was impossible not to live “on one's own.” Nothing else, Felix learned, was compatible with dignity or even peace of mind. So, she had chosen a back room high up on a back street, where she was planning to live quite well on ten shillings a week; with thirty-two pounds saved up, she would be fine for a year, after which she believed she could support herself. The principle she intended to keep in mind was avoiding any commitments that would seriously interfere with her work in life. It was hard to look at this girl, with her flushed cheeks, bright eyes, and frizzy hair from her excitement, and not believe what she was saying. Yes! She would succeed, even if not exactly where she aimed, which was ultimately what mattered. In fact, she did make her move the very next day into the back room high up on the back street, and from then on, neither Tod's cottage nor the house on Spaniard's Road saw much of her at all.

Another by-product, this, of that little starting episode, the notice given to Tryst! Strange how in life one little incident, one little piece of living stress, can attract and gather round it the feelings, thoughts, actions of people whose lives run far and wide away therefrom. But episodes are thus potent only when charged with a significance that comes from the clash of the deepest instincts.

Another result of that small starting episode, the notice given to Tryst! It's strange how one small incident, one little bit of stress in life, can draw in the feelings, thoughts, and actions of people whose lives are far removed from it. But these episodes have power only when they are filled with significance that arises from the conflict of our deepest instincts.

During the six weeks which had elapsed between his return home from Joyfields and the assizes, Felix had much leisure to reflect that if Lady Malloring had not caused Tryst to be warned that he could not marry his deceased wife's sister and continue to stay on the estate—the lives of Felix himself, his daughter, mother, brother, brother's wife, their son and daughter, and in less degree of his other brothers, would have been free of a preoccupation little short of ludicrous in proportion to the face value of the cause. But he had leisure, too, to reflect that in reality the issue involved in that tiny episode concerned human existence to its depths—for, what was it but the simple, all-important question of human freedom? The simple, all-important issue of how far men and women should try to rule the lives of others instead of trying only to rule their own, and how far those others should allow their lives to be so ruled? This it was which gave that episode its power of attracting and affecting the thoughts, feelings, actions of so many people otherwise remote. And though Felix was paternal enough to say to himself nearly all the time, 'I can't let Nedda get further into this mess!' he was philosopher enough to tell himself, in the unfatherly balance of his hours, that the mess was caused by the fight best of all worth fighting—of democracy against autocracy, of a man's right to do as he likes with his life if he harms not others; of 'the Land' against the fetterers of 'the Land.' And he was artist enough to see how from that little starting episode the whole business had sprung—given, of course, the entrance of the wilful force called love. But a father, especially when he has been thoroughly alarmed, gives the artist and philosopher in him short shrift.

During the six weeks since his return home from Joyfields and before the trial, Felix had plenty of time to think about how, if Lady Malloring hadn't warned Tryst that he couldn't marry his deceased wife's sister while continuing to live on the estate, the lives of Felix, his daughter, mother, brother, brother's wife, their son and daughter, and to a lesser extent, his other brothers, would have been free from what was almost a ridiculous concern given the true significance of the issue. But he also had time to realize that the matter at hand, rooted in that small incident, actually touched the core of human existence—after all, it raised the crucial question of human freedom. It was all about how much control people should seek over the lives of others rather than focusing solely on their own, and how much those others should allow their lives to be controlled. This is what gave that incident its power to draw in and impact many people who otherwise wouldn’t have been involved. And although Felix often thought to himself, “I can’t let Nedda get deeper into this mess!” he was philosophical enough during his quieter moments to acknowledge that the chaos stemmed from the most worthy fight of all—the battle between democracy and autocracy, a person’s right to live their life as they choose if they’re not harming anyone else; the struggle of "the Land" against those who would restrain "the Land." He was creative enough to recognize how everything had originated from that small incident—of course, if you included the unpredictable force of love. However, a father, especially one who feels deeply alarmed, often doesn’t give much time to the artist and philosopher within him.

Nedda came home soon after Sheila went, and to the eyes of Felix she came back too old and thoughtful altogether. How different a girl from the Nedda who had so wanted 'to know everything' that first night of May! What was she brooding over, what planning, in that dark, round, pretty head? At what resolve were those clear eyes so swiftly raised to look? What was going on within, when her breast heaved so, without seeming cause, and the color rushed up in her cheeks at a word, as though she had been so far away that the effort of recall was alone enough to set all her veins throbbing. And yet Felix could devise no means of attack on her infatuation. For a man cannot cultivate the habit of never interfering and then suddenly throw it over; least of all when the person to be interfered with is his pet and only daughter.

Nedda came home soon after Sheila left, and to Felix, she appeared to be older and more serious. She was so different from the Nedda who had been eager "to know everything" on that first night of May! What was she thinking about, what plans was she making in that dark, round, pretty head? What determination were those clear eyes quickly raised to see? What was happening inside her when her chest heaved unexpectedly, and color rushed to her cheeks at a single word, as if she had been so far away that just the effort of coming back was enough to make all her veins throb? Yet Felix could think of no way to address her infatuation. A man can't get used to not interfering and then suddenly change his mind, especially when the person he wants to interfere with is his beloved only daughter.

Flora, not of course in the swim of those happenings at Joyflelds, could not be got to take the matter very seriously. In fact—beyond what concerned Felix himself and poetry—the matter that she did take seriously had yet to be discovered. Hers was one of those semi-detached natures particularly found in Hampstead. When exhorted to help tackle the question, she could only suggest that Felix should take them all abroad when he had finished 'The Last of the Laborers.' A tour, for instance, in Norway and Sweden, where none of them had ever been, and perhaps down through Finland into Russia.

Flora, not really involved in what was going on at Joyflelds, couldn't take the situation too seriously. In fact—aside from what affected Felix directly and poetry—the things she did take seriously were still to be determined. She was one of those somewhat detached people you often find in Hampstead. When she was urged to help address the issue, she could only suggest that Felix should take everyone on a trip abroad once he finished 'The Last of the Laborers.' For example, a tour in Norway and Sweden, places none of them had ever visited, and maybe even down through Finland into Russia.

Feeling like one who squirts on a burning haystack with a garden syringe, Felix propounded this scheme to his little daughter. She received it with a start, a silence, a sort of quivering all over, as of an animal who scents danger. She wanted to know when, and being told—'not before the middle of August', relapsed into her preoccupation as if nothing had been said. Felix noted on the hall table one afternoon a letter in her handwriting, addressed to a Worcester newspaper, and remarked thereafter that she began to receive this journal daily, obviously with a view to reports of the coming assizes. Once he tried to break through into her confidence. It was August Bank Holiday, and they had gone out on to the heath together to see the people wonderfully assembled. Coming back across the burnt-up grass, strewn with paper bags, banana peel, and the cores of apples, he hooked his hand into her arm.

Feeling like someone dousing a burning haystack with a garden hose, Felix shared this plan with his little daughter. She responded with a start, went silent, and seemed to tremble, like an animal sensing danger. She asked when it would happen, and when told 'not before the middle of August,' she fell back into her thoughts as if nothing had been said. One afternoon, Felix noticed a letter on the hall table in her handwriting, addressed to a Worcester newspaper, and realized she had started receiving that paper daily, likely to look for news about the upcoming court sessions. Once, he tried to get her to open up to him. It was August Bank Holiday, and they had gone out to the heath together to see the huge crowd. On their way back across the scorched grass, littered with paper bags, banana peels, and apple cores, he slipped his arm through hers.

“What is to be done with a child that goes about all day thinking and thinking and not telling anybody what she is thinking?”

“What should we do with a child who spends all day thinking and thinking but doesn’t share what’s on her mind?”

She smiled round at him and answered:

She smiled at him and said:

“I know, Dad. She IS a pig, isn't she?”

“I know, Dad. She really is a pig, isn’t she?”

This comparison with an animal of proverbial stubbornness was not encouraging. Then his hand was squeezed to her side and he heard her murmur:

This comparison to a notoriously stubborn animal wasn't reassuring. Then her hand squeezed his side and he heard her whisper:

“I wonder if all daughters are such beasts!”

“I wonder if all daughters are such nightmares!”

He understood well that she had meant: 'There is only one thing I want—one thing I mean to have—one thing in the world for me now!'

He understood clearly that what she meant was: 'There’s only one thing I want—one thing I’m determined to have—one thing in the world for me right now!'

And he said soberly:

And he said seriously:

“We can't expect anything else.”

"We can't expect more."

“Oh, Daddy!” she answered, but nothing more.

“Oh, Dad!” she replied, but said nothing else.

Only four days later she came to his study with a letter, and a face so flushed and troubled that he dropped his pen and got up in alarm.

Only four days later, she entered his study with a letter, her face so flushed and troubled that he immediately dropped his pen and stood up in alarm.

“Read this, Dad! It's impossible! It's not true! It's terrible! Oh! What am I to do?”

“Look at this, Dad! This can’t be real! It’s not true! It’s awful! Oh! What should I do?”

The letter ran thus, in a straight, boyish handwriting:

The letter read like this, written in a neat, youthful hand:

“ROYAL CHARLES HOSTEL,

“Royal Charles Hostel,”

“WORCESTER, Aug. 7th.

"Worcester, August 7."

“MY NEDDA,

"MY NEDDA,"

“I have just seen Bob tried. They have given him three years' penal. It was awful to sit there and watch him. He can never stand it. It was awful to watch him looking at ME. It's no good. I'm going to give myself up. I must do it. I've got everything ready; they'll have to believe me and squash his sentence. You see, but for me it would never have been done. It's a matter of honour. I can't let him suffer any more. This isn't impulse. I've been meaning to do it for some time, if they found him guilty. So in a way, it's an immense relief. I'd like to have seen you first, but it would only distress you, and I might not have been able to go through with it after. Nedda, darling, if you still love me when I get out, we'll go to New Zealand, away from this country where they bully poor creatures like Bob. Be brave! I'll write to-morrow, if they let me.

“I just saw Bob get sentenced. They gave him three years in prison. It was terrible to sit there and watch him. He can’t handle it. It was awful to see him looking at ME. This isn’t going to work. I’m going to turn myself in. I have to do it. I’ve got everything ready; they’ll have to believe me and overturn his sentence. You see, if it weren’t for me, this would have never happened. It’s a matter of honor. I can’t let him suffer any longer. This isn’t just a spur-of-the-moment decision. I’ve been planning to do this for a while if they found him guilty. So in a way, it’s a huge relief. I would have liked to see you first, but it would only upset you, and I might not have been able to go through with it afterward. Nedda, darling, if you still love me when I get out, we’ll go to New Zealand, far from this country where they bully people like Bob. Be strong! I’ll write tomorrow, if they let me.”

“Your

"Your"

“Derek.”

“Derek.”

The first sensation in Felix on reading this effusion was poignant recollection of the little lawyer's look after Derek had made the scene at Tryst's committal and of his words: 'Nothing in it, is there?' His second thought: 'Is this the cutting of the knot that I've been looking for?' His third, which swept all else away: 'My poor little darling! What business has that boy to hurt her again like this!'

The first feeling Felix had while reading this outpouring was a sharp memory of the little lawyer’s expression after Derek had caused a scene at Tryst's commitment, along with his words: 'There's nothing in it, right?' His second thought was: 'Is this the solution I've been seeking?' His third thought, which pushed everything else aside: 'My poor little darling! What right does that boy have to hurt her like this again!'

He heard her say:

He listened to her say:

“Tryst told me himself he did it, Dad! He told me when I went to see him in the prison. Honour doesn't demand what isn't true! Oh, Dad, help me!”

“Tryst told me himself he did it, Dad! He told me when I went to see him in prison. Honor doesn't ask for what isn’t true! Oh, Dad, help me!”

Felix was slow in getting free from the cross currents of reflection. “He wrote this last night,” he said dismally. “He may have done it already. We must go and see John.”

Felix took his time breaking away from his swirling thoughts. “He wrote this last night,” he said sadly. “He might have already done it. We need to go see John.”

Nedda clasped her hands. “Ah! Yes!”

Nedda clasped her hands. “Oh! Yes!”

And Felix had not the heart to add what he was thinking: 'Not that I see what good he can do!' But, though sober reason told him this, it was astonishingly comforting to be going to some one who could be relied on to see the facts of the situation without any of that 'flimflam' with which imagination is accustomed to surround them. “And we'll send Derek a wire for what it's worth.”

And Felix couldn't bring himself to say what he was thinking: 'Not that I see what good he can do!' But, even though reason told him this, it was surprisingly comforting to be going to someone who could be counted on to see the facts of the situation without any of that 'nonsense' that imagination usually wraps around them. “And we'll send Derek a text for what it's worth.”

They went at once to the post-office, Felix composing this message on the way: 'Utterly mistaken chivalry you have no right await our arrival Felix Freeland.' He handed it to her to read, and passed it under the brass railing to the clerk, not without the feeling of shame due from one who uses the word chivalry in a post-office.

They immediately went to the post office, and on the way, Felix wrote this message: 'You have no right to wait for our arrival with your misguided sense of chivalry. Felix Freeland.' He handed it to her to read and then slipped it under the brass railing to the clerk, feeling a bit ashamed for using the word chivalry in a post office.

On the way to the Tube station he held her arm tightly, but whether to impart courage or receive it he could not have said, so strung-up in spirit did he feel her. With few words exchanged they reached Whitehall. Marking their card 'Urgent,' they were received within ten minutes.

On the way to the Tube station, he held her arm tightly, but whether he was trying to give her courage or draw it from her, he couldn't tell, as she seemed so tense. They exchanged few words as they made their way to Whitehall. Labeling their request as 'Urgent,' they were seen within ten minutes.

John was standing in a high, white room, smelling a little of papers and tobacco, and garnished solely by five green chairs, a table, and a bureau with an immense number of pigeonholes, whereat he had obviously been seated. Quick to observe what concerned his little daughter, Felix noted how her greeting trembled up at her uncle and how a sort of warmth thawed for the moment the regularity of his brother's face. When they had taken two of the five green chairs and John was back at his bureau, Felix handed over the letter. John read it and looked at Nedda. Then taking a pipe out of his pocket, which he had evidently filled before they came in, he lighted it and re-read the letter. Then, looking very straight at Nedda, he said:

John was standing in a tall, white room that smelled a bit like paper and tobacco, furnished only with five green chairs, a table, and a bureau packed with a ton of pigeonholes, where he had clearly been sitting. Quick to notice what mattered to his little daughter, Felix saw how her greeting wobbled as she approached her uncle and how a momentary warmth softened the usual stone-faced expression of his brother. Once they had taken two of the five green chairs and John was back at his bureau, Felix handed him the letter. John read it and glanced at Nedda. Then, taking a pipe out of his pocket, which he had clearly filled before they arrived, he lit it and read the letter again. Then, looking directly at Nedda, he said:

“Nothing in it? Honour bright, my dear!”

“Nothing in it? Really, my dear!”

“No, Uncle John, nothing. Only that he fancies his talk about injustice put it into Tryst's head.”

“No, Uncle John, nothing. Just that he thinks his talk about injustice got into Tryst’s head.”

John nodded; the girl's face was evidence enough for him.

John nodded; the girl's expression was more than enough proof for him.

“Any proof?”

"Got any proof?"

“Tryst himself told me in the prison that he did it. He said it came on him suddenly, when he saw the straw.”

“Tryst himself told me in prison that he did it. He said it hit him all of a sudden when he saw the straw.”

A pause followed before John said:

A brief silence followed before John said:

“Good! You and I and your father will go down and see the police.”

“Great! You, me, and your dad will head down to talk to the police.”

Nedda lifted her hands and said breathlessly:

Nedda raised her hands and said breathlessly:

“But, Uncle! Dad! Have I the right? He says—honour. Won't it be betraying him?”

“But, Uncle! Dad! Do I have the right? He talks about honor. Won't that be betraying him?”

Felix could not answer, but with relief he heard John say:

Felix couldn't respond, but he felt relieved when he heard John say:

“It's not honorable to cheat the law.”

“It's not right to break the law.”

“No; but he trusted me or he wouldn't have written.”

“No; but he trusted me, or he wouldn’t have written.”

John answered slowly:

John replied slowly:

“I think your duty's plain, my dear. The question for the police will be whether or not to take notice of this false confession. For us to keep the knowledge that it's false from them, under the circumstances, is clearly not right. Besides being, to my mind, foolish.”

“I think your duty is clear, my dear. The question for the police will be whether or not to acknowledge this false confession. For us to hide the fact that it’s false from them, given the circumstances, is definitely not right. Plus, it seems foolish to me.”

For Felix to watch this mortal conflict going on in the soul of his daughter—that soul which used to seem, perhaps even now seemed, part of himself; to know that she so desperately wanted help for her decision, and to be unable to give it, unable even to trust himself to be honest—this was hard for Felix. There she sat, staring before her; and only her tight-clasped hands, the little movements of her lips and throat, showed the struggle going on in her.

For Felix to see the inner struggle happening in his daughter's soul—that soul which used to feel, and maybe still felt, like a part of him; to realize that she was so desperately seeking help for her decision, and to be unable to provide it, unable even to trust himself to be honest—this was tough for Felix. There she sat, staring into space; and only her tightly clasped hands, the small movements of her lips and throat, revealed the turmoil inside her.

“I couldn't, without seeing him; I MUST see him first, Uncle!”

“I can't, without seeing him; I HAVE to see him first, Uncle!”

John got up and went over to the window; he, too, had been affected by her face.

John got up and walked over to the window; he, too, was moved by her expression.

“You realize,” he said, “that you risk everything by that. If he's given himself up, and they've believed him, he's not the sort to let it fall through. You cut off your chance if he won't let you tell. Better for your father and me to see him first, anyway.” And Felix heard a mutter that sounded like: 'Confound him!'

“You know,” he said, “that you risk everything by doing that. If he’s turned himself in and they believe him, he’s not the type to let it slip away. You’re cutting off your chance if he won’t let you speak. It’s better for your dad and me to see him first, anyway.” And Felix heard a murmur that sounded like: 'Damn him!'

Nedda rose. “Can we go at once, then, Uncle?”

Nedda got up. “Can we go right away, Uncle?”

With a solemnity that touched Felix, John put a hand on each side of her face, raised it, and kissed her on the forehead.

With a seriousness that moved Felix, John placed a hand on each side of her face, lifted it, and kissed her on the forehead.

“All right!” he said. “Let's be off!”

“All right!” he said. “Let’s go!”

A silent trio sought Paddington in a taxi-cab, digesting this desperate climax of an affair that sprang from origins so small.

A quiet trio called for a taxi to find Paddington, processing the intense conclusion of a relationship that had started from such humble beginnings.

In Felix, contemplating his daughter's face, there was profound compassion, but also that family dismay, that perturbation of self-esteem, which public scandal forces on kinsmen, even the most philosophic. He felt exasperation against Derek, against Kirsteen, almost even against Tod, for having acquiesced passively in the revolutionary bringing-up which had brought on such a disaster. War against injustice; sympathy with suffering; chivalry! Yes! But not quite to the point whence they recoiled on his daughter, his family, himself! The situation was impossible! He was fast resolving that, whether or no they saved Derek from this quixotry, the boy should not have Nedda. And already his eyes found difficulty in meeting hers.

In Felix, looking at his daughter's face, there was deep compassion, but also that family disappointment, that hit to his self-esteem, which public scandal puts on relatives, even the most philosophical ones. He felt frustrated with Derek, with Kirsteen, and even a bit with Tod, for going along with the misguided upbringing that led to such a disaster. Fighting against injustice; feeling for those who suffer; being honorable! Yes! But not to the extent that it impacted his daughter, his family, and himself! The situation was unbearable! He was quickly deciding that, whether they saved Derek from this foolishness or not, the boy shouldn't end up with Nedda. And already, he found it hard to meet her eyes.

They secured a compartment to themselves and, having settled down in corners, began mechanically unfolding evening journals. For after all, whatever happens, one must read the papers! Without that, life would indeed be insupportable! Felix had bought Mr. Cuthcott's, but, though he turned and turned the sheets, they seemed to have no sense till these words caught his eyes: “Convict's tragic death! Yesterday afternoon at Worcester, while being conveyed from the assize court back to prison, a man named Tryst, sentenced to three years' penal servitude for arson, suddenly attacked the warders in charge of him and escaped. He ran down the street, hotly pursued, and, darting out into the traffic, threw himself under a motor-car going at some speed. The car struck him on the head, and the unfortunate man was killed on the spot. No reason whatever can be assigned for this desperate act. He is known, however, to have suffered from epilepsy, and it is thought an attack may have been coming on him at the time.”

They secured a private compartment and, once settled into their seats, began mechanically spreading out their evening newspapers. After all, no matter what happens, one must read the news! Without that, life would truly be unbearable! Felix had picked up Mr. Cuthcott's paper, but even as he flipped through the pages, they seemed to make no sense until these words caught his attention: “Convict's tragic death! Yesterday afternoon in Worcester, while being taken back to prison from the assize court, a man named Tryst, sentenced to three years of hard labor for arson, suddenly attacked the guards escorting him and managed to escape. He ran down the street with the guards in hot pursuit and, darting into traffic, threw himself under a speeding motorcar. The car hit him on the head, and the poor man was killed instantly. No reason can be found for this desperate act. It is known, however, that he suffered from epilepsy, and it is believed he may have been experiencing an attack at the time.”

When Felix had read these words he remained absolutely still, holding that buff-colored paper before his face, trying to decide what he must do now. What was the significance—exactly the significance of this? Now that Tryst was dead, Derek's quixotic action had no meaning. But had he already 'confessed'? It seemed from this account that the suicide was directly after the trial; even before the boy's letter to Nedda had been written. He must surely have heard of it since and given up his mad idea! He leaned over, touched John on the knee, and handed him the paper. John read the paragraph, handed it back; and the two brothers stared fixedly at each other. Then Felix made the faintest movement of his head toward his daughter, and John nodded. Crossing to Nedda, Felix hooked his arm in hers and said:

When Felix finished reading those words, he stayed completely still, holding the buff-colored paper up to his face, trying to figure out what he should do next. What was the real meaning of this? Now that Tryst was gone, Derek's impulsive act had no purpose. But had he already 'confessed'? It seemed from this report that the suicide happened right after the trial; even before the boy's letter to Nedda was written. He must have heard about it since then and abandoned his crazy idea! He leaned forward, touched John on the knee, and gave him the paper. John read the paragraph and handed it back; the two brothers locked eyes. Then Felix made the slightest nod toward his daughter, and John agreed. Moving towards Nedda, Felix linked his arm with hers and said:

“Just look at this, my child.”

“Check this out, kid.”

Nedda read, started to her feet, sank back, and cried out:

Nedda read, jumped up, sat back down, and shouted:

“Poor, poor man! Oh, Dad! Poor man!”

“Poor, poor man! Oh, Dad! That poor guy!”

Felix felt ashamed. Though Tryst's death meant so much relief to her, she felt first this rush of compassion; he himself, to whom it meant so much less relief, had felt only that relief.

Felix felt ashamed. Even though Tryst's death brought her a sense of relief, she first experienced a wave of compassion; he himself, for whom it meant much less relief, had only felt that relief.

“He said he couldn't stand it; he told me that. But I never thought—Oh! Poor man!” And, burying her face against his arm, she gave way.

“He said he couldn't take it anymore; he told me that. But I never thought—Oh! Poor guy!” And, burying her face against his arm, she broke down.

Petrified, and conscious that John at the far end of the carriage was breathing rather hard, Felix could only stroke her arm till at last she whispered:

Petrified and aware that John at the far end of the carriage was breathing heavily, Felix could only stroke her arm until she finally whispered:

“There's nobody now for Derek to save. Oh, if you'd seen that poor man in prison, Dad!”

“There's no one left for Derek to save. Oh, if you could have seen that poor guy in prison, Dad!”

And the only words of comfort Felix could find were:

And the only words of comfort Felix could come up with were:

“My child, there are thousands and thousands of poor prisoners and captives!”

“My child, there are thousands and thousands of poor prisoners and captives!”

In a truce to agitation they spent the rest of that three hours' journey, while the train rattled and rumbled through the quiet, happy-looking land.

In a pause from their anxiety, they passed the remaining three hours of the trip, while the train clattered and rolled through the peaceful, picturesque countryside.





CHAPTER XXXV

It was tea-time when they reached Worcester, and at once went up to the Royal Charles Hostel. A pretty young woman in the office there informed them that the young gentleman had paid his bill and gone out about ten o'clock; but had left his luggage. She had not seen him come in. His room was up that little staircase at the end of the passage. There was another entrance that he might have come in at. The 'Boots' would take them.

It was tea time when they arrived in Worcester, and they immediately went up to the Royal Charles Hostel. A pretty young woman at the front desk told them that the young man had settled his bill and left around ten o'clock, but he had left his luggage behind. She hadn't seen him come back in. His room was up that small staircase at the end of the hall. There was another entrance he might have used. The bellboy would show them the way.

Past the hall stuffed with furniture and decorated with the stags' heads and battle-prints common to English county-town hotels, they followed the 'Boots' up five red-carpeted steps, down a dingy green corridor, to a door at the very end. There was no answer to their knock. The dark little room, with striped walls, and more battle-prints, looked out on a side street and smelled dusty. On a shiny leather sofa an old valise, strapped-up ready for departure, was reposing with Felix's telegram, unopened, deposited thereon. Writing on his card, “Have come down with Nedda. F. F.,” and laying it on the telegram, in case Derek should come in by the side entrance, Felix and Nedda rejoined John in the hall.

Past the hallway filled with furniture and adorned with the stags' heads and battle prints typical of English county-town hotels, they followed the bellboy up five red-carpeted steps, down a dim green corridor, to a door at the very end. There was no response to their knock. The small, dark room, with striped walls and more battle prints, overlooked a side street and had a dusty smell. On a shiny leather sofa, an old suitcase, strapped up and ready for departure, rested with Felix's unopened telegram placed on top of it. Writing on his card, “Have come down with Nedda. F. F.,” and leaving it on the telegram, in case Derek came in through the side entrance, Felix and Nedda rejoined John in the hallway.

To wait in anxiety is perhaps the hardest thing in life; tea, tobacco, and hot baths perhaps the only anodynes. These, except the baths, they took. Without knowing what had happened, neither John nor Felix liked to make inquiry at the police station, nor did they care to try and glean knowledge from the hotel people by questions that might lead to gossip. They could but kick their heels till it became reasonably certain that Derek was not coming back. The enforced waiting increased Felix's exasperation. Everything Derek did seemed designed to cause Nedda pain. To watch her sitting there, trying resolutely to mask her anxiety, became intolerable. At last he got up and said to John:

To wait in anxiety is probably the hardest thing in life; tea, cigarettes, and hot baths are maybe the only remedies. They took these, except for the baths. Not knowing what had happened, neither John nor Felix wanted to ask at the police station, nor did they feel comfortable trying to get information from the hotel staff through questions that could lead to rumors. They could only pace around until it became clear that Derek wasn’t coming back. The forced waiting only made Felix more frustrated. Everything Derek did seemed aimed at hurting Nedda. Watching her sit there, trying hard to hide her worry, became unbearable. Finally, he got up and said to John:

“I think we'd better go round there,” and, John nodding, he added: “Wait here, my child. One of us'll come back at once and tell you anything we hear.”

“I think we should go over there,” and, with John nodding, he added: “Stay here, my child. One of us will come back right away and let you know anything we find out.”

She gave them a grateful look and the two brothers went out. They had not gone twenty yards when they met Derek striding along, pale, wild, unhappy-looking. When Felix touched him on the arm, he started and stared blankly at his uncle.

She gave them a thankful look, and the two brothers walked out. They hadn't gone twenty yards when they encountered Derek striding along, looking pale, wild, and unhappy. When Felix tapped him on the arm, he jumped and stared blankly at his uncle.

“We've seen about Tryst,” Felix said: “You've not done anything?”

“We've heard about Tryst,” Felix said. “You haven't done anything?”

Derek shook his head.

Derek shook his head.

“Good! John, tell Nedda that, and stay with her a bit. I want to talk to Derek. We'll go in the other way.” He put his hand under the boy's arm and turned him down into the side street. When they reached the gloomy little bedroom Felix pointed to the telegram.

“Great! John, let Nedda know that, and stick around with her for a while. I need to talk to Derek. We'll go in through the other entrance.” He put his hand under the boy's arm and steered him into the side street. When they got to the dark little bedroom, Felix pointed to the telegram.

“From me. I suppose the news of his death stopped you?”

“From me. I guess you heard about his death and it shocked you?”

“Yes.” Derek opened the telegram, dropped it, and sat down beside his valise on the shiny sofa. He looked positively haggard.

“Yes.” Derek opened the telegram, dropped it, and sat down next to his bag on the shiny sofa. He looked completely exhausted.

Taking his stand against the chest of drawers, Felix said quietly:

Taking his stand against the dresser, Felix said quietly:

“I'm going to have it out with you, Derek. Do you understand what all this means to Nedda? Do you realize how utterly unhappy you're making her? I don't suppose you're happy yourself—”

“I'm going to confront you about this, Derek. Do you get what all this means to Nedda? Do you see how completely unhappy you're making her? I can't imagine you're happy yourself—”

The boy's whole figure writhed.

The boy's entire body writhed.

“Happy! When you've killed some one you don't think much of happiness—your own or any one's!”

“Happy! When you’ve killed someone, you don’t really think about happiness—yours or anyone else’s!”

Startled in his turn, Felix said sharply:

Startled, Felix said sharply:

“Don't talk like that. It's monomania.”

“Don't talk like that. It's obsessive thinking.”

Derek laughed. “Bob Tryst's dead—through me! I can't get out of that.”

Derek laughed. “Bob Tryst is dead—because of me! I can't escape that.”

Gazing at the boy's tortured face, Felix grasped the gruesome fact that this idea amounted to obsession.

Gazing at the boy's tortured face, Felix realized with horror that this idea had turned into an obsession.

“Derek,” he said, “you've dwelt on this till you see it out of all proportion. If we took to ourselves the remote consequences of all our words we should none of us survive a week. You're overdone. You'll see it differently to-morrow.”

“Derek,” he said, “you've thought about this so much that you've blown it out of proportion. If we focused on the far-reaching consequences of everything we say, none of us would make it through a week. You're exaggerating. You'll see it differently tomorrow.”

Derek got up to pace the room.

Derek stood up to walk around the room.

“I swear I would have saved him. I tried to do it when they committed him at Transham.” He looked wildly at Felix. “Didn't I? You were there; you heard!”

“I swear I would have saved him. I tried to do it when they sent him to Transham.” He looked at Felix desperately. “Didn't I? You were there; you heard!”

“Yes, yes; I heard.”

“Yes, I heard.”

“They wouldn't let me then. I thought they mightn't find him guilty here—so I let it go on. And now he's dead. You don't know how I feel!”

“They wouldn’t let me back then. I thought they might not find him guilty here—so I just let it happen. And now he’s dead. You have no idea how I feel!”

His throat was working, and Felix said with real compassion:

His throat was tight, and Felix said with genuine compassion:

“My dear boy! Your sense of honour is too extravagant altogether. A grown man like poor Tryst knew perfectly what he was doing.”

“My dear boy! Your sense of honor is way too extreme. A grown man like poor Tryst knew exactly what he was doing.”

“No. He was like a dog—he did what he thought was expected of him. I never meant him to burn those ricks.”

“No. He was like a dog—he did what he thought he was supposed to do. I never wanted him to burn those stacks.”

“Exactly! No one can blame you for a few wild words. He might have been the boy and you the man by the way you take it! Come!”

“Exactly! No one can fault you for a few wild comments. He could have been the boy, and you the man, just by how you handle it! Come!”

Derek sat down again on the shiny sofa and buried his head in his hands.

Derek sat back down on the shiny sofa and buried his head in his hands.

“I can't get away from him. He's been with me all day. I see him all the time.”

“I can't escape him. He's been with me all day. I see him constantly.”

That the boy was really haunted was only too apparent. How to attack this mania? If one could make him feel something else! And Felix said:

That the boy was truly haunted was all too clear. How could they tackle this obsession? If only they could help him feel something different! And Felix said:

“Look here, Derek! Before you've any right to Nedda you've got to find ballast. That's a matter of honour, if you like.”

“Listen up, Derek! Before you have any claim to Nedda, you need to find some stability. It’s a matter of honor, if you want to call it that.”

Derek flung up his head as if to escape a blow. Seeing that he had riveted him, Felix pressed on, with some sternness:

Derek lifted his head quickly as if trying to dodge a hit. Noticing that he had captured his attention, Felix continued, with a hint of seriousness:

“A man can't serve two passions. You must give up this championing the weak and lighting flames you can't control. See what it leads to! You've got to grow and become a man. Until then I don't trust my daughter to you.”

“A man can't serve two passions. You need to let go of this defending the weak and igniting fires you can't manage. Look where it gets you! You have to mature and become a man. Until then, I won't trust my daughter with you.”

The boy's lips quivered; a flush darkened his face, ebbed, and left him paler than ever.

The boy's lips trembled; a flush reddened his face, faded away, and left him paler than ever.

Felix felt as if he had hit that face. Still, anything was better than to leave him under this gruesome obsession! Then, to his consternation, Derek stood up and said:

Felix felt like he had struck that face. Still, anything was better than leaving him under this horrific obsession! Then, to his shock, Derek stood up and said:

“If I go and see his body at the prison, perhaps he'll leave me alone a little!”

“If I go and see his body at the prison, maybe he’ll leave me alone for a while!”

Catching at that, as he would have caught at anything, Felix said:

Catching onto that, as he would have grasped at anything, Felix said:

“Good! Yes! Go and see the poor fellow; we'll come, too.”

“Great! Yes! Go check on that poor guy; we’ll come along, too.”

And he went out to find Nedda.

And he went out to look for Nedda.

By the time they reached the street Derek had already started, and they could see him going along in front. Felix racked his brains to decide whether he ought to prepare her for the state the boy was in. Twice he screwed himself up to take the plunge, but her face—puzzled, as though wondering at her lover's neglect of her—stopped him. Better say nothing!

By the time they got to the street, Derek had already set off, and they could see him walking ahead. Felix tried hard to figure out whether he should prepare her for how the boy was doing. Twice he got himself ready to say something, but her expression—confused, as if she was questioning her boyfriend's indifference—held him back. Better to say nothing!

Just as they reached the prison she put her hand on his arm:

Just as they got to the prison, she placed her hand on his arm:

“Look, Dad!”

“Check this out, Dad!”

And Felix read on the corner of the prison lane those words: 'Love's Walk'!

And Felix read those words at the edge of the prison road: 'Love's Walk'!

Derek was waiting at the door. After some difficulty they were admitted and taken down the corridor where the prisoner on his knees had stared up at Nedda, past the courtyard where those others had been pacing out their living hieroglyphic, up steps to the hospital. Here, in a white-washed room on a narrow bed, the body of the big laborer lay, wrapped in a sheet.

Derek was waiting at the door. After some difficulty, they were let in and taken down the hallway where the prisoner, on his knees, had looked up at Nedda, past the courtyard where others had been pacing out their living hieroglyphic, up the steps to the hospital. Here, in a whitewashed room on a narrow bed, the body of the large laborer lay, wrapped in a sheet.

“We bury him Friday, poor chap! Fine big man, too!” And at the warder's words a shudder passed through Felix. The frozen tranquillity of that body!

“We bury him on Friday, poor guy! A really great man, too!” And at the guard's words, a shiver ran through Felix. The icy stillness of that body!

As the carved beauty of great buildings, so is the graven beauty of death, the unimaginable wonder of the abandoned thing lying so quiet, marvelling at its resemblance to what once lived! How strange this thing, still stamped by all that it had felt, wanted, loved, and hated, by all its dumb, hard, commonplace existence! This thing with the calm, pathetic look of one who asks of his own fled spirit: Why have you abandoned me?

As the intricate beauty of amazing buildings, so is the lasting beauty of death, the unimaginable awe of the lifeless form lying so still, marveling at how it resembles what once existed! How strange this thing, still marked by all that it experienced, desired, loved, and hated, by all its simple, tough, everyday existence! This thing with the peaceful, sorrowful look of someone asking their own departed spirit: Why have you left me?

Death! What more wonderful than a dead body—that still perfect work of life, for which life has no longer use! What more mysterious than this sight of what still is, yet is not!

Death! What could be more remarkable than a dead body—that still impressive result of life, for which life is no longer needed! What could be more mysterious than the sight of something that still exists, yet does not!

Below the linen swathing the injured temples, those eyes were closed through which such yearning had looked forth. From that face, where the hair had grown faster than if it had been alive, death's majesty had planed away the aspect of brutality, removed the yearning, covering all with wistful acquiescence. Was his departed soul coherent? Where was it? Did it hover in this room, visible still to the boy? Did it stand there beside what was left of Tryst the laborer, that humblest of all creatures who dared to make revolt—serf, descendant of serfs, who, since the beginning, had hewn wood, drawn water, and done the will of others? Or was it winged, and calling in space to the souls of the oppressed?

Below the linen covering the injured temples, those eyes were closed through which such longing had looked out. From that face, where the hair had grown faster than if it were alive, death's majesty had smoothed away the look of brutality, erased the longing, and replaced it with a gentle acceptance. Was his departed soul aware? Where was it? Did it linger in this room, still visible to the boy? Did it stand there beside what was left of Tryst the laborer, the humblest of all beings who dared to rebel—serf, descendant of serfs, who, since the beginning, had chopped wood, drawn water, and fulfilled the wishes of others? Or was it free, calling out in space to the souls of the oppressed?

This body would go back to the earth that it had tended, the wild grass would grow over it, the seasons spend wind and rain forever above it. But that which had held this together—the inarticulate, lowly spirit, hardly asking itself why things should be, faithful as a dog to those who were kind to it, obeying the dumb instinct of a violence that in his betters would be called 'high spirit,' where—Felix wondered—where was it?

This body would return to the earth it had nurtured, wild grass would cover it, and the seasons would endlessly bring wind and rain above it. But what had held this together—the unspoken, humble spirit, barely questioning why things existed, loyal like a dog to those who treated it kindly, following the basic instinct of an aggression that in those above it would be called 'nobility'—where—Felix wondered—where was it?

And what were they thinking—Nedda and that haunted boy—so motionless? Nothing showed on their faces, nothing but a sort of living concentration, as if they were trying desperately to pierce through and see whatever it was that held this thing before them in such awful stillness. Their first glimpse of death; their first perception of that terrible remoteness of the dead! No wonder they seemed to be conjured out of the power of thought and feeling!

And what were Nedda and that haunted boy thinking—sitting so still? There was nothing on their faces, just a kind of intense focus, as if they were desperately trying to see what was keeping this thing in front of them so eerily motionless. It was their first encounter with death; their first understanding of the frightening distance of the dead! No wonder they seemed to have been summoned by the force of thought and emotion!

Nedda was first to turn away. Walking back by her side, Felix was surprised by her composure. The reality of death had not been to her half so harrowing as the news of it. She said softly:

Nedda was the first to look away. As he walked back beside her, Felix was surprised by her calmness. The reality of death didn’t affect her nearly as much as the news of it had. She said softly:

“I'm glad to have seen him like that; now I shall think of him—at peace; not as he was that other time.”

“I'm happy to have seen him like that; now I’ll remember him—at peace; not as he was that other time.”

Derek rejoined them, and they went in silence back to the hotel. But at the door she said:

Derek rejoined them, and they silently walked back to the hotel. But at the door, she said:

“Come with me to the cathedral, Derek; I can't go in yet!”

“Come with me to the cathedral, Derek; I can’t go in yet!”

To Felix's dismay the boy nodded, and they turned to go. Should he stop them? Should he go with them? What should a father do? And, with a heavy sigh, he did nothing but retire into the hotel.

To Felix's disappointment, the boy nodded, and they started to leave. Should he stop them? Should he go with them? What should a father do? And, with a deep sigh, he did nothing but head back into the hotel.





CHAPTER XXXVI

It was calm, with a dark-blue sky, and a golden moon, and the lighted street full of people out for airing. The great cathedral, cutting the heavens with its massive towers, was shut. No means of getting in; and while they stood there looking up the thought came into Nedda's mind: Where would they bury poor Tryst who had killed himself? Would they refuse to bury that unhappy one in a churchyard? Surely, the more unhappy and desperate he was, the kinder they ought to be to him!

It was calm, with a dark blue sky and a golden moon, and the lit street was full of people out for fresh air. The huge cathedral, towering into the sky with its massive spires, was closed. No way to get inside; and as they stood there looking up, a thought crossed Nedda's mind: Where would they bury poor Tryst, who had taken his own life? Would they deny that unfortunate soul a burial in a churchyard? Surely, the more unhappy and desperate he was, the kinder they should be to him!

They turned away down into a little lane where an old, white, timbered cottage presided ghostly at the corner. Some church magnate had his garden back there; and it was quiet, along the waving line of a high wall, behind which grew sycamores spreading close-bunched branches, whose shadows, in the light of the corner lamps, lay thick along the ground this glamourous August night. A chafer buzzed by, a small black cat played with its tail on some steps in a recess. Nobody passed.

They turned down a small lane where an old, white timber cottage stood eerily at the corner. Some church bigwig had his garden back there, and it was quiet along the undulating line of a tall wall, behind which sycamores grew, their closely bunched branches casting thick shadows on the ground in the glow of the corner lamps on this glamorous August night. A beetle buzzed by, and a small black cat played with its tail on some steps in a nook. No one passed by.

The girl's heart was beating fast. Derek's face was so strange and strained. And he had not yet said one word to her. All sorts of fears and fancies beset her till she was trembling all over.

The girl's heart was racing. Derek's face looked so weird and tense. He still hadn't said a single word to her. A flood of fears and thoughts overwhelmed her, making her shake all over.

“What is it?” she said at last. “You haven't—you haven't stopped loving me, Derek?”

“What is it?” she finally said. “You haven't— you haven't stopped loving me, Derek?”

“No one could stop loving you.”

“No one could stop loving you.”

“What is it, then? Are you thinking of poor Tryst?”

“What is it? Are you thinking about poor Tryst?”

With a catch in his throat and a sort of choked laugh he answered:

With a lump in his throat and a bit of a choked laugh, he replied:

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“But it's all over. He's at peace.”

“But it's all over. He’s at peace now.”

“Peace!” Then, in a queer, dead voice, he added: “I'm sorry, Nedda. It's beastly for you. But I can't help it.”

“Peace!” Then, in a strange, lifeless voice, he added: “I’m sorry, Nedda. It’s horrible for you. But I can’t help it.”

What couldn't he help? Why did he keep her suffering like this—not telling her? What was this something that seemed so terribly between them? She walked on silently at his side, conscious of the rustling of the sycamores, of the moonlit angle of the church magnate's house, of the silence in the lane, and the gliding of their own shadows along the wall. What was this in his face, his thoughts, that she could not reach! And she cried out:

What couldn't he do to help? Why did he allow her to suffer like this—without telling her? What was this thing that felt so heavy between them? She walked silently beside him, aware of the rustling sycamores, the moonlit angle of the church magnate's house, the quiet of the lane, and the way their shadows glided along the wall. What was it in his face, in his thoughts, that she couldn't access? And she cried out:

“Tell me! Oh, tell me, Derek! I can go through anything with you!”

“Tell me! Oh, tell me, Derek! I can handle anything as long as I'm with you!”

“I can't get rid of him, that's all. I thought he'd go when I'd seen him there. But it's no good!”

“I can't get rid of him, that's all. I thought he'd leave after I saw him there. But it’s no use!”

Terror got hold of her then. She peered at his face—very white and haggard. There seemed no blood in it. They were going down-hill now, along the blank wall of a factory; there was the river in front, with the moonlight on it and boats drawn up along the bank. From a chimney a scroll of black smoke was flung out across the sky, and a lighted bridge glowed above the water. They turned away from that, passing below the dark pile of the cathedral. Here couples still lingered on benches along the river-bank, happy in the warm night, under the August moon! And on and on they walked in that strange, miserable silence, past all those benches and couples, out on the river-path by the fields, where the scent of hay-stacks, and the freshness from the early stubbles and the grasses webbed with dew, overpowered the faint reek of the river mud. And still on and on in the moonlight that haunted through the willows. At their footsteps the water-rats scuttled down into the water with tiny splashes; a dog barked somewhere a long way off; a train whistled; a frog croaked. From the stubbles and second crops of sun-baked clover puffs of warm air kept stealing up into the chillier air beneath the willows. Such moonlit nights never seem to sleep. And there was a kind of triumph in the night's smile, as though it knew that it ruled the river and the fields, ruled with its gleams the silent trees that had given up all rustling. Suddenly Derek said:

Terror took hold of her then. She looked at his face—very pale and worn. It seemed void of blood. They were going downhill now, along the blank wall of a factory; the river lay ahead, glimmering in the moonlight, with boats docked along the bank. A plume of black smoke billowed from a chimney into the sky, and a lit bridge glowed over the water. They turned away from that, passing under the dark silhouette of the cathedral. Here, couples still lingered on benches along the riverbank, enjoying the warm night under the August moon! And they walked on in that strange, miserable silence, past all those benches and couples, onto the river path by the fields, where the scent of haystacks and the freshness from the dew-soaked grass overpowered the faint smell of river mud. And still, they walked on in the moonlight that filtered through the willows. At their footsteps, water rats scurried into the water with tiny splashes; a dog barked somewhere far off; a train whistled; a frog croaked. From the stubble fields and sun-baked clover, warm air kept rising into the chillier air beneath the willows. Those moonlit nights never seem to sleep. And there was a kind of triumph in the night’s smile, as if it knew it ruled the river and the fields, ruling with its gleams the silent trees that had ceased rustling. Suddenly, Derek said:

“He's walking with us! Look! Over there!”

“He's walking with us! Look! Over there!”

And for a second there did seem to Nedda a dim, gray shape moving square and dogged, parallel with them at the stubble edges. Gasping out:

And for a moment, Nedda thought she saw a shadowy, gray figure moving steadily alongside them at the edge of the stubble. Gasping out:

“Oh, no; don't frighten me! I can't bear it tonight!” She hid her face against his shoulder like a child. He put his arm round her and she pressed her face deep into his coat. This ghost of Bob Tryst holding him away from her! This enemy! This uncanny presence! She pressed closer, closer, and put her face up to his. It was wonderfully lonely, silent, whispering, with the moongleams slipping through the willow boughs into the shadow where they stood. And from his arms warmth stole through her! Closer and closer she pressed, not quite knowing what she did, not quite knowing anything but that she wanted him never to let her go; wanted his lips on hers, so that she might feel his spirit pass, away from what was haunting it, into hers, never to escape. But his lips did not come to hers. They stayed drawn back, trembling, hungry-looking, just above her lips. And she whispered:

“Oh, no; don’t scare me! I can’t handle it tonight!” She buried her face against his shoulder like a child. He wrapped his arm around her, and she pressed her face deep into his coat. This ghost of Bob Tryst kept him away from her! This enemy! This eerie presence! She moved in closer, closer, and lifted her face to his. It was beautifully lonely, silent, whispering, with moonlight slipping through the willow branches into the shadows where they stood. And from his embrace, warmth flowed into her! She pressed closer and closer, not quite aware of what she was doing, not really knowing anything except that she wanted him to never let her go; she wanted his lips on hers so she could feel his spirit transition, away from what was haunting it, into hers, never to escape. But his lips didn’t meet hers. They stayed just above her lips, drawn back, trembling, and yearning. And she whispered:

“Kiss me!”

"Give me a kiss!"

She felt him shudder in her arms, saw his eyes darken, his lips quiver and quiver, as if he wanted them to, but they would not. What was it? Oh, what was it? Wasn't he going to kiss her—not to kiss her? And while in that unnatural pause they stood, their heads bent back among the moongleams and those willow shadows, there passed through Nedda such strange trouble as she had never known. Not kiss her! Not kiss her! Why didn't he? When in her blood and in the night all round, in the feel of his arms, the sight of his hungry lips, was something unknown, wonderful, terrifying, sweet! And she wailed out:

She felt him shudder in her arms, saw his eyes darken, his lips tremble and quiver, as if he wanted to kiss her, but couldn’t. What was going on? Oh, what was happening? Was he going to kiss her or not? And while they stood there in that strange pause, their heads tilted back among the moonlight and the shadows of the willows, Nedda experienced a deep, unfamiliar anxiety like nothing she had ever felt before. Not kiss her! Not kiss her! Why wasn’t he? When all around her, in her veins and in the night, in the warmth of his arms and the sight of his eager lips, there was something unknown, amazing, frightening, and sweet. And she cried out:

“I want you—I don't care—I want you!” She felt him sway, reel, and clutch her as if he were going to fall, and all other feeling vanished in the instinct of the nurse she had already been to him. He was ill again! Yes, he was ill! And she said:

“I want you—I don't care—I want you!” She felt him sway, grab onto her as if he were about to fall, and all her other feelings disappeared in the instinct of the nurse she had always been to him. He was sick again! Yes, he was sick! And she said:

“Derek—don't! It's all right. Let's walk on quietly!”

“Derek—don't! It's okay. Let's walk quietly!”

She got his arm tightly in hers and drew him along toward home. By the jerking of that arm, the taut look on his face, she could feel that he did not know from step to step whether he could stay upright. But she herself was steady and calm enough, bent on keeping emotion away, and somehow getting him back along the river-path, abandoned now to the moon and the bright, still spaces of the night and the slow-moving, whitened water. Why had she not felt from the first that he was overwrought and only fit for bed?

She grabbed his arm tightly in hers and pulled

Thus, very slowly, they made their way up by the factory again into the lane by the church magnate's garden, under the branches of the sycamores, past the same white-faced old house at the corner, to the high street where some few people were still abroad.

Thus, very slowly, they made their way up by the factory again into the lane by the church magnate's garden, under the branches of the sycamores, past the same white-faced old house at the corner, to the high street where a few people were still out and about.

At the front door of the hotel stood Felix, looking at his watch, disconsolate as an old hen. To her great relief he went in quickly when he saw them coming. She could not bear the thought of talk and explanation. The one thing was to get Derek to bed. All the time he had gone along with that taut face; and now, when he sat down on the shiny sofa in the little bedroom, he shivered so violently that his teeth chattered. She rang for a hot bottle and brandy and hot water. When he had drunk he certainly shivered less, professed himself all right, and would not let her stay. She dared not ask, but it did seem as if the physical collapse had driven away, for the time at all events, that ghostly visitor, and, touching his forehead with her lips—very motherly—so that he looked up and smiled at her—she said in a matter-of-fact voice:

At the front door of the hotel stood Felix, checking his watch, looking as sad as an old hen. To her great relief, he quickly went inside when he saw them approaching. She couldn't stand the thought of having to talk and explain things. The only thing that mattered was getting Derek to bed. All this time, he had kept that tense expression, and now, when he sat down on the shiny sofa in the small bedroom, he shook so much that his teeth chattered. She called for a hot water bottle, brandy, and hot water. After he drank, he definitely shivered less, claimed he was fine, and insisted she leave. She didn't dare ask, but it seemed that his physical collapse had temporarily chased away that haunting presence, and, kissing his forehead lightly—very motherly—so that he looked up and smiled at her, she said in a straightforward tone:

“I'll come back after a bit and tuck you up,” and went out.

"I'll be back in a bit to tuck you in," and went out.

Felix was waiting in the hall, at a little table on which stood a bowl of bread and milk. He took the cover off it for her without a word. And while she supped he kept glancing at her, trying to make up his mind to words. But her face was sealed. And all he said was:

Felix was waiting in the hall at a small table with a bowl of bread and milk on it. He silently removed the cover for her. While she ate, he kept looking at her, attempting to find the right words. But her expression was unreadable. All he managed to say was:

“Your uncle's gone to Becket for the night. I've got you a room next mine, and a tooth-brush, and some sort of comb. I hope you'll be able to manage, my child.”

“Your uncle's gone to Becket for the night. I've got you a room next to mine, and a toothbrush, and some kind of comb. I hope you'll be able to manage, my child.”

Nedda left him at the door of his room and went into her own. After waiting there ten minutes she stole out again. It was all quiet, and she went resolutely back down the stairs. She did not care who saw her or what they thought. Probably they took her for Derek's sister; but even if they didn't she would not have cared. It was past eleven, the light nearly out, and the hall in the condition of such places that await a morning's renovation. His corridor, too, was quite dark. She opened the door without sound and listened, till his voice said softly:

Nedda left him at the door of his room and went into her own. After waiting there for ten minutes, she quietly slipped out again. Everything was quiet, and she confidently made her way back down the stairs. She didn’t care who saw her or what they thought. They probably assumed she was Derek's sister; but even if they didn't, it didn't matter to her. It was past eleven, the light was almost out, and the hallway looked like those places waiting for a morning clean-up. His corridor was dark too. She opened the door silently and listened until his voice said softly:

“All right, little angel; I'm not asleep.”

"Okay, little angel; I'm not asleep."

And by a glimmer of moonlight, through curtains designed to keep out nothing, she stole up to the bed. She could just see his face, and eyes looking up at her with a sort of adoration. She put her hand on his forehead and whispered: “Are you comfy?”

And by a sliver of moonlight, through curtains that didn’t block anything, she quietly approached the bed. She could barely make out his face, with eyes gazing up at her in a kind of admiration. She placed her hand on his forehead and whispered, “Are you comfortable?”

He murmured back: “Yes, quite comfy.”

He replied softly, “Yeah, really comfy.”

Kneeling down, she laid her face beside his on the pillow. She could not help doing that; it made everything seem holy, cuddley, warm. His lips touched her nose. Her eyes, for just that instant, looked up into his, that were very dark and soft; then she got up.

Kneeling down, she rested her face next to his on the pillow. She couldn't help it; it made everything feel sacred, cozy, and warm. His lips brushed against her nose. For just that moment, her eyes met his, which were very dark and gentle; then she got up.

“Would you like me to stay till you're asleep?”

“Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?”

“Yes; forever. But I shouldn't exactly sleep. Would you?”

“Yes; forever. But I shouldn’t really sleep. Would you?”

In the darkness Nedda vehemently shook her head. Sleep! No! She would not sleep!

In the darkness, Nedda vigorously shook her head. Sleep! No! She refused to sleep!

“Good night, then!”

“Good night!”

“Good night, little dark angel!”

“Good night, little dark angel!”

“Good night!” With that last whisper she slipped back to the door and noiselessly away.

“Good night!” With that last whisper, she quietly slipped back to the door and faded away.





CHAPTER XXXVII

It was long before she closed her eyes, spending the hours in fancy where still less she would have slept. But when she did drop off she dreamed that he and she were alone upon a star, where all the trees were white, the water, grass, birds, everything, white, and they were walking arm in arm, among white flowers. And just as she had stooped to pick one—it was no flower, but—Tryst's white-banded face! She woke with a little cry.

It took her a while to close her eyes, spending hours lost in daydreams instead of sleeping. But when she finally drifted off, she dreamed that he and she were alone on a star, where all the trees were white, the water, grass, birds—everything was white, and they were walking arm in arm among white flowers. Just as she bent down to pick one, it turned out not to be a flower but Tryst's white-banded face! She startled awake with a small cry.

She was dressed by eight and went at once to Derek's room. There was no answer to her knock, and in a flutter of fear she opened the door. He had gone—packed, and gone. She ran back to the hall. There was a note for her in the office, and she took it out of sight to read. It said:

She was dressed by eight and went straight to Derek's room. There was no answer to her knock, and in a rush of fear, she opened the door. He was gone—packed up and left. She dashed back to the hall. There was a note for her in the office, and she took it out of sight to read. It said:

“He came back this morning. I'm going home by the first train. He seems to want me to do something.

“He came back this morning. I'm taking the first train home. He seems to want me to do something."

“DEREK.”

"DEREK."

Came back! That thing—that gray thing that she, too, had seemed to see for a moment in the fields beside the river! And he was suffering again as he had suffered yesterday! It was awful. She waited miserably till her father came down. To find that he, too, knew of this trouble was some relief. He made no objection when she begged that they should follow on to Joyfields. Directly after breakfast they set out. Once on her way to Derek again, she did not feel so frightened. But in the train she sat very still, gazing at her lap, and only once glanced up from under those long lashes.

Came back! That thing—that gray thing that she, too, had seemed to catch a glimpse of for a moment in the fields next to the river! And he was in pain again, just like he had been yesterday! It was terrible. She waited unhappily until her dad came downstairs. Finding out that he also knew about this problem was somewhat comforting. He didn’t object when she asked if they could go to Joyfields. Right after breakfast, they set off. Once on her way to Derek again, she didn’t feel as scared. But on the train, she sat very still, staring at her lap, and only looked up once from beneath those long lashes.

“Can you understand it, Dad?”

“Can you get it, Dad?”

Felix, not much happier than she, answered:

Felix, feeling just as unhappy as she was, replied:

“The man had something queer about him. Besides Derek's been ill, don't forget that. But it's too bad for you, Nedda. I don't like it; I don't like it.”

“The man had something off about him. And don't forget, Derek's been sick. But that’s tough luck for you, Nedda. I really don’t like it; I really don’t like it.”

“I can't be parted from him, Dad. That's impossible.”

“I can't be away from him, Dad. That's not going to happen.”

Felix was silenced by the vigor of those words.

Felix was speechless from the intensity of those words.

“His mother can help, perhaps,” he said.

“Maybe his mom can help,” he said.

Ah! If his mother would help—send him away from the laborers, and all this!

Ah! If only his mother would help—send him away from the workers, and all of this!

Up from the station they took the field paths, which cut off quite a mile. The grass and woods were shining brightly, peacefully in the sun; it seemed incredible that there should be heartburnings about a land so smiling, that wrongs and miseries should haunt those who lived and worked in these bright fields. Surely in this earthly paradise the dwellers were enviable, well-nourished souls, sleek and happy as the pied cattle that lifted their inquisitive muzzles! Nedda tried to stroke the nose of one—grayish, blunt, moist. But the creature backed away from her hand, snuffling, and its cynical, soft eyes with chestnut lashes seemed warning the girl that she belonged to the breed that might be trusted to annoy.

They took the footpaths from the station, which saved them about a mile. The grass and woods were shining brightly, peacefully basking in the sun; it seemed unbelievable that there could be troubles over a land so beautiful, that wrongs and hardships could bother those who lived and worked in these lovely fields. Surely in this earthly paradise, the people here were enviable, well-fed souls, sleek and happy like the spotted cattle that lifted their curious noses! Nedda tried to pet one—it was grayish, blunt, and moist. But the animal pulled away from her hand, snorting, and its soft, cynical eyes with chestnut lashes seemed to warn her that she belonged to the type that might just annoy.

In the last fields before the Joyfields crossroads they came up with a little, square, tow-headed man, without coat or cap, who had just driven some cattle in and was returning with his dog, at a 'dot-here dot-there' walk, as though still driving them. He gave them a look rather like that of the bullock Nedda had tried to stroke. She knew he must be one of the Malloring men, and longed to ask him questions; but he, too, looked shy and distrustful, as if he suspected that they wanted something out of him. She summoned up courage, however, to say: “Did you see about poor Bob Tryst?”

In the last fields before the Joyfields crossroads, they encountered a small, square-shaped man with blonde hair, who was not wearing a coat or a hat. He had just brought in some cattle and was heading back with his dog, moving in a casual, slow manner, as if he were still herding them. He glanced at them with a look similar to the one that the bullock Nedda had tried to pet. She recognized him as one of the Malloring men and wished she could ask him questions; however, he seemed shy and wary, as if he thought they wanted something from him. Gathering her courage, she said, “Did you hear about poor Bob Tryst?”

“I 'eard tell. 'E didn' like prison. They say prison takes the 'eart out of you. 'E didn' think o' that.” And the smile that twisted the little man's lips seemed to Nedda strange and cruel, as if he actually found pleasure in the fate of his fellow. All she could find to answer was:

“I heard about it. He didn’t like prison. They say prison takes the heart out of you. He didn’t think about that.” And the smile that twisted the little man's lips seemed strange and cruel to Nedda, as if he actually took pleasure in his fellow's fate. All she could find to say was:

“Is that a good dog?”

"Is that a good dog?"

The little man looked down at the dog trotting alongside with drooped tail, and shook his head:

The little man looked down at the dog trotting beside him with a drooping tail and shook his head:

“'E's no good wi' beasts—won't touch 'em!” Then, looking up sidelong, he added surprisingly:

“He's no good with animals—won't go near them!” Then, glancing up sideways, he unexpectedly added:

“Mast' Freeland 'e got a crack on the head, though!” Again there was that satisfied resentment in his voice and the little smile twisting his lips. Nedda felt more lost than ever.

“Mast' Freeland's got a crack on the head, though!” Again there was that satisfied resentment in his voice and the little smile twisting his lips. Nedda felt more lost than ever.

They parted at the crossroads and saw him looking back at them as they went up the steps to the wicket gate. Amongst a patch of early sunflowers, Tod, in shirt and trousers, was surrounded by his dog and the three small Trysts, all apparently engaged in studying the biggest of the sunflowers, where a peacock-butterfly and a bee were feeding, one on a gold petal, the other on the black heart. Nedda went quickly up to them and asked:

They split at the crossroads and saw him looking back at them as they climbed the steps to the gate. In a spot with some early sunflowers, Tod, in his shirt and pants, was surrounded by his dog and the three little Trysts, all seemingly focused on the biggest sunflower, where a peacock butterfly and a bee were feeding, one on a gold petal and the other on the black center. Nedda hurried over to them and asked:

“Has Derek come, Uncle Tod?”

“Has Derek arrived, Uncle Tod?”

Tod raised his eyes. He did not seem in the least surprised to see her, as if his sky were in the habit of dropping his relatives at ten in the morning.

Tod looked up. He didn't seem surprised to see her at all, as if his world was used to dropping off family members at ten in the morning.

“Gone out again,” he said.

“Out again,” he said.

Nedda made a sign toward the children.

Nedda motioned to the kids.

“Have you heard, Uncle Tod?”

"Have you heard, Uncle Tod?"

Tod nodded and his blue eyes, staring above the children's heads, darkened.

Tod nodded, and his blue eyes, looking over the children's heads, grew dark.

“Is Granny still here?”

“Is Grandma still here?”

Again Tod nodded.

Again, Tod nodded.

Leaving Felix in the garden, Nedda stole upstairs and tapped on Frances Freeland's door.

Leaving Felix in the garden, Nedda quietly went upstairs and knocked on Frances Freeland's door.

She, whose stoicism permitted her the one luxury of never coming down to breakfast, had just made it for herself over a little spirit-lamp. She greeted Nedda with lifted eyebrows.

She, whose calmness allowed her the one luxury of never going down to breakfast, had just prepared her own meal over a small spirit lamp. She greeted Nedda with raised eyebrows.

“Oh, my darling! Where HAVE you come from? You must have my nice cocoa! Isn't this the most perfect lamp you ever saw? Did you ever see such a flame? Watch!”

“Oh, my darling! Where HAVE you been? You have to try my delicious cocoa! Isn't this the most perfect lamp you've ever seen? Have you ever seen a flame like this? Look!”

She touched the spirit-lamp and what there was of flame died out.

She touched the spirit lamp and the flame went out.

“Now, isn't that provoking? It's really a splendid thing, quite a new kind. I mean to get you one. Now, drink your cocoa; it's beautifully hot.”

“Isn’t that interesting? It’s really wonderful, something completely new. I’m going to get you one. Now, drink your cocoa; it’s nice and hot.”

“I've had breakfast, Granny.”

"I've eaten breakfast, Granny."

Frances Freeland gazed at her doubtfully, then, as a last resource, began to sip the cocoa, of which, in truth, she was badly in want.

Frances Freeland looked at her uncertainly, then, as a last resort, started to sip the cocoa, which she really needed.

“Granny, will you help me?”

"Grandma, can you help me?"

“Of course, darling. What is it?”

“Of course, babe. What’s up?”

“I do so want Derek to forget all about this terrible business.”

“I really want Derek to forget all about this awful situation.”

Frances Freeland, who had unscrewed the top of a little canister, answered:

Frances Freeland, who had taken the lid off a small canister, answered:

“Yes, dear, I quite agree. I'm sure it's best for him. Open your mouth and let me pop in one of these delicious little plasmon biscuits. They're perfect after travelling. Only,” she added wistfully, “I'm afraid he won't pay any attention to me.”

“Yes, dear, I totally agree. I’m sure it’s the best for him. Open your mouth and let me pop one of these delicious little plasmon biscuits in. They’re perfect after traveling. Only,” she added with a hint of sadness, “I’m afraid he won’t pay any attention to me.”

“No, but you could speak to Aunt Kirsteen; it's for her to stop him.”

“No, but you could talk to Aunt Kirsteen; it’s her job to put a stop to him.”

One of her most pathetic smiles came over Frances Freeland's face.

One of the saddest smiles appeared on Frances Freeland's face.

“Yes, I could speak to her. But, you see, I don't count for anything. One doesn't when one gets old.”

“Yes, I could talk to her. But, you see, I don’t matter. You don’t when you get old.”

“Oh, Granny, you do! You count for a lot; every one admires you so. You always seem to have something that—that other people haven't got. And you're not a bit old in spirit.”

“Oh, Granny, you really do! You mean a lot; everyone admires you so much. You always seem to have something that other people don’t. And you’re not old at all in spirit.”

Frances Freeland was fingering her rings; she slipped one off.

Frances Freeland was playing with her rings; she took one off.

“Well,” she said, “it's no good thinking about that, is it? I've wanted to give you this for ages, darling; it IS so uncomfortable on my finger. Now, just let me see if I can pop it on!”

“Well,” she said, “there's no point in thinking about that, right? I've been wanting to give you this for ages, darling; it’s really uncomfortable on my finger. Now, let me see if I can put it on!”

Nedda recoiled.

Nedda flinched.

“Oh, Granny!” she said. “You ARE—!” and vanished.

“Oh, Granny!” she said. “You ARE—!” and disappeared.

There was still no one in the kitchen, and she sat down to wait for her aunt to finish her up-stairs duties.

There was still no one in the kitchen, and she sat down to wait for her aunt to finish her upstairs tasks.

Kirsteen came down at last, in her inevitable blue dress, betraying her surprise at this sudden appearance of her niece only by a little quivering of her brows. And, trembling with nervousness, Nedda took her plunge, pouring out the whole story—of Derek's letter; their journey down; her father's talk with him; the visit to Tryst's body; their walk by the river; and of how haunted and miserable he was. Showing the little note he had left that morning, she clasped her hands and said:

Kirsteen finally came down, wearing her usual blue dress, showing her surprise at her niece's unexpected arrival only with a slight twitch of her eyebrows. Nervous and shaky, Nedda dove right in, sharing the entire story—Derek's letter, their trip down, her father's conversation with him, the visit to Tryst's body, their walk by the river, and how haunted and unhappy he was. Holding up the little note he had left that morning, she clasped her hands and said:

“Oh, Aunt Kirsteen, make him happy again! Stop that awful haunting and keep him from all this!”

“Oh, Aunt Kirsteen, make him happy again! Stop that terrible haunting and keep him away from all this!”

Kirsteen had listened, with one foot on the hearth in her favorite attitude. When the girl had finished she said quietly:

Kirsteen had been listening, with one foot resting on the fireplace in her usual position. When the girl finished speaking, she said softly:

“I'm not a witch, Nedda!”

"I'm not a witch, Nedda!"

“But if it wasn't for you he would never have started. And now that poor Tryst's dead he would leave it alone. I'm sure only you can make him lose that haunted feeling.”

“But if it weren't for you, he never would have started. And now that poor Tryst is dead, he would just let it go. I’m sure only you can help him shake off that haunted feeling.”

Kirsteen shook her head.

Kirsteen shook her head.

“Listen, Nedda!” she said slowly, as though weighing each word. “I should like you to understand. There's a superstition in this country that people are free. Ever since I was a girl your age I've known that they are not; no one is free here who can't pay for freedom. It's one thing to see, another to feel this with your whole being. When, like me, you have an open wound, which something is always inflaming, you can't wonder, can you, that fever escapes into the air. Derek may have caught the infection of my fever—that's all! But I shall never lose that fever, Nedda—never!”

“Listen, Nedda!” she said slowly, as if considering each word carefully. “I want you to understand. There’s a belief in this country that people are free. Since I was your age, I’ve known that they aren’t; no one is free here who can’t afford it. It’s one thing to see it, and another to feel it deep down. When, like me, you have an open wound that’s always being irritated, you can’t be surprised if the fever spreads into the air. Derek might have caught my fever—that’s all! But I will never lose that fever, Nedda—never!”

“But, Aunt Kirsteen, this haunting is dreadful. I can't bear to see it.”

“But, Aunt Kirsteen, this haunting is awful. I can't stand to watch it.”

“My dear, Derek is very highly strung, and he's been ill. It's in my family to see things. That'll go away.”

“My dear, Derek is very high-strung, and he’s been unwell. It runs in my family to see things. That will pass.”

Nedda said passionately:

Nedda said with passion:

“I don't believe he'll ever lose it while he goes on here, tearing his heart out. And they're trying to get me away from him. I know they are!”

“I don’t think he’ll ever lose it as long as he keeps tearing his heart out here. And they’re trying to push me away from him. I know it!”

Kirsteen turned; her eyes seemed to blaze.

Kirsteen turned; her eyes appeared to shine.

“They? Ah! Yes! You'll have to fight if you want to marry a rebel, Nedda!”

“They? Oh! Right! You’ll have to fight if you want to marry a rebel, Nedda!”

Nedda put her hands to her forehead, bewildered. “You see, Nedda, rebellion never ceases. It's not only against this or that injustice, it's against all force and wealth that takes advantage of its force and wealth. That rebellion goes on forever. Think well before you join in.”

Nedda rubbed her forehead, confused. “You see, Nedda, rebellion never stops. It's not just against this or that injustice; it's against all power and wealth that exploit their strength and resources. That rebellion continues endlessly. Think carefully before you get involved.”

Nedda turned away. Of what use to tell her to think when 'I won't—I can't be parted from him!' kept every other thought paralyzed. And she pressed her forehead against the cross-bar of the window, trying to find better words to make her appeal again. Out there above the orchard the sky was blue, and everything light and gay, as the very butterflies that wavered past. A motor-car seemed to have stopped in the road close by; its whirring and whizzing was clearly audible, mingled with the cooings of pigeons and a robin's song. And suddenly she heard her aunt say:

Nedda turned away. What good was it to tell her to think when 'I won't—I can't be apart from him!' kept every other thought frozen? She pressed her forehead against the window's cross-bar, trying to find better words to make her plea again. Outside above the orchard, the sky was blue, everything felt bright and cheerful, just like the butterflies fluttering by. A car had apparently stopped on the road nearby; the sound of its engine mixed with the cooing of pigeons and a robin's song. And then she suddenly heard her aunt say:

“You have your chance, Nedda! Here they are!”

“You have your chance, Nedda! Here they are!”

Nedda turned. There in the doorway were her Uncles John and Stanley coming in, followed by her father and Uncle Tod.

Nedda turned. There in the doorway were her Uncles John and Stanley coming in, followed by her dad and Uncle Tod.

What did this mean? What had they come for? And, disturbed to the heart, she gazed from one to the other. They had that curious look of people not quite knowing what their reception will be like, yet with something resolute, almost portentous, in their mien. She saw John go up to her aunt and hold out his hand.

What did this mean? What had they come for? And, feeling deeply unsettled, she looked from one to the other. They had that strange look of people who weren't sure how they would be welcomed, yet there was something determined, almost ominous, in their demeanor. She watched John approach her aunt and extend his hand.

“I dare say Felix and Nedda have told you about yesterday,” he said. “Stanley and I thought it best to come over.” Kirsteen answered:

“I bet Felix and Nedda told you about yesterday,” he said. “Stanley and I thought it was best to come over,” Kirsteen replied:

“Tod, will you tell Mother who's here?”

“Tod, can you let Mom know who’s here?”

Then none of them seemed to know quite what to say, or where to look, till Frances Freeland, her face all pleased and anxious, came in. When she had kissed them they all sat down. And Nedda, at the window, squeezed her hands tight together in her lap.

Then none of them seemed to know exactly what to say or where to look until Frances Freeland came in, her face a mix of happiness and worry. After she had greeted them with a kiss, they all sat down. And Nedda, at the window, squeezed her hands tightly together in her lap.

“We've come about Derek,” John said.

“We're here to talk about Derek,” John said.

“Yes,” broke in Stanley. “For goodness' sake, Kirsteen, don't let's have any more of this! Just think what would have happened yesterday if that poor fellow hadn't providentially gone off the hooks!”

“Yes,” interrupted Stanley. “For goodness' sake, Kirsteen, let’s not do this anymore! Just think about what would have happened yesterday if that poor guy hadn’t miraculously gone off the hooks!”

“Providentially!”

"Thank goodness!"

“Well, it was. You see to what lengths Derek was prepared to go. Hang it all! We shouldn't have been exactly proud of a felon in the family.”

“Well, it was. Look at how far Derek was willing to go. Damn it all! We shouldn't have been exactly proud of having a criminal in the family.”

Frances Freeland, who had been lacing and unlacing her fingers, suddenly fixed her eyes on Kirsteen.

Frances Freeland, who had been lacing and unlacing her fingers, suddenly focused her gaze on Kirsteen.

“I don't understand very well, darling, but I am sure that whatever dear John says will be wise and right. You must remember that he is the eldest and has a great deal of experience.”

“I don't fully understand, sweetheart, but I’m sure that whatever John says will be wise and correct. You have to remember that he’s the oldest and has a lot of experience.”

Kirsteen bent her head. If there was irony in the gesture, it was not perceived by Frances Freeland.

Kirsteen lowered her head. If there was any irony in the gesture, Frances Freeland didn't notice it.

“It can't be right for dear Derek, or any gentleman, to go against the law of the land or be mixed up with wrong-doing in any way. I haven't said anything, but I HAVE felt it very much. Because—it's all been not quite nice, has it?”

“It can’t be right for dear Derek, or any gentleman, to go against the law or be involved in wrongdoing in any way. I haven’t said anything, but I HAVE felt it deeply. Because—it hasn’t all been very nice, has it?”

Nedda saw her father wince. Then Stanley broke in again:

Nedda saw her father flinch. Then Stanley interrupted again:

“Now that the whole thing's done with, do, for Heaven's sake, let's have a little peace!”

“Now that everything's over, please, for Heaven's sake, let's have some peace!”

At that moment her aunt's face seemed wonderful to Nedda; so quiet, yet so burningly alive.

At that moment, her aunt's face looked amazing to Nedda; so calm, yet so intensely alive.

“Peace! There is no peace in this world. There is death, but no peace!” And, moving nearer to Tod, she rested her hand on his shoulder, looking, as it seemed to Nedda, at something far away, till John said:

“Peace! There is no peace in this world. There is death, but no peace!” And, stepping closer to Tod, she placed her hand on his shoulder, gazing, as it seemed to Nedda, at something distant, until John said:

“That's hardly the point, is it? We should be awfully glad to know that there'll be no more trouble. All this has been very worrying. And now the cause seems to be—removed.”

“That's not really the point, is it? We should be really grateful to know that there won't be any more trouble. All of this has been very stressful. And now the reason seems to be—taken care of.”

There was always a touch of finality in John's voice. Nedda saw that all had turned to Kirsteen for her answer.

There was always a hint of finality in John's voice. Nedda noticed that everyone had turned to Kirsteen for her response.

“If those up and down the land who profess belief in liberty will cease to filch from the helpless the very crust of it, the cause will be removed.”

“If those across the country who claim to believe in liberty stop stealing the very basics from the helpless, the problem will be solved.”

“Which is to say—never!”

"That means—never!"

At those words from Felix, Frances Freeland, gazing first at him and then at Kirsteen, said in a pained voice:

At Felix's words, Frances Freeland looked at him first and then at Kirsteen, saying in a pained voice:

“I don't think you ought to talk like that, Kirsteen, dear. Nobody who's at all nice means to be unkind. We're all forgetful sometimes. I know I often forget to be sympathetic. It vexes me dreadfully!”

“I don't think you should talk like that, Kirsteen, dear. Nobody who's nice really means to be unkind. We all forget sometimes. I know I often forget to be compassionate. It frustrates me so much!”

“Mother, don't defend tyranny!”

"Mom, don’t defend tyranny!"

“I'm sure it's often from the best motives, dear.”

“I'm sure it's often from the best intentions, dear.”

“So is rebellion.”

“Rebellion is a thing too.”

“Well, I don't understand about that, darling. But I do think, with dear John, it's a great pity. It will be a dreadful drawback to Derek if he has to look back on something that he regrets when he's older. It's always best to smile and try to look on the bright side of things and not be grumbly-grumbly!”

“Well, I don’t really get that, babe. But I do think, with dear John, it’s such a shame. It’ll be a terrible setback for Derek if he looks back on something he regrets when he’s older. It’s always better to smile and try to focus on the positive and not be all grumpy!”

After that little speech of Frances Freeland's there was a silence that Nedda thought would last forever, till her aunt, pressing close to Tod's shoulder, spoke.

After Frances Freeland's short speech, there was a silence that Nedda thought would go on forever, until her aunt leaned in close to Tod's shoulder and spoke.

“You want me to stop Derek. I tell you all what I've just told Nedda. I don't attempt to control Derek; I never have. For myself, when I see a thing I hate I can't help fighting against it. I shall never be able to help that. I understand how you must dislike all this; I know it must be painful to you, Mother. But while there is tyranny in this land, to laborers, women, animals, anything weak and helpless, so long will there be rebellion against it, and things will happen that will disturb you.”

“You want me to stop Derek. I'm telling all of you what I just told Nedda. I don’t try to control Derek; I never have. For me, when I see something I hate, I can’t help but fight against it. I’ll never be able to change that. I get why you must dislike all this; I know it must be painful for you, Mom. But as long as there's tyranny in this country—against workers, women, animals, anything weak and helpless—there will be rebellion against it, and things will happen that will upset you.”

Again Nedda saw her father wince. But Frances Freeland, bending forward, fixed her eyes piercingly on Kirsteen's neck, as if she were noticing something there more important than that about tyranny!

Again, Nedda saw her father flinch. But Frances Freeland, leaning forward, focused her gaze intensely on Kirsteen's neck, as if she were noticing something there more significant than the issue of tyranny!

Then John said very gravely:

Then John said seriously:

“You seem to think that we approve of such things being done to the helpless!”

"You seem to think that we agree with such things happening to the helpless!"

“I know that you disapprove.”

"I know you don't approve."

“With the masterly inactivity,” Felix said suddenly, in a voice more bitter than Nedda had ever heard from him, “of authority, money, culture, and philosophy. With the disapproval that lifts no finger—winking at tyrannies lest worse befall us. Yes, WE—brethren—we—and so we shall go on doing. Quite right, Kirsteen!”

“‘With the masterly inactivity,’ Felix said suddenly, in a voice more bitter than Nedda had ever heard from him, ‘of authority, money, culture, and philosophy. With the disapproval that lifts no finger—turning a blind eye to tyrannies to avoid worse outcomes. Yes, WE—brothers—we—and so we shall continue doing. Exactly right, Kirsteen!’”

“No. The world is changing, Felix, changing!”

“No. The world is changing, Felix, it really is!”

But Nedda had started up. There at the door was Derek.

But Nedda had jumped up. There at the door was Derek.





CHAPTER XXXVIII

Derek, who had slept the sleep of the dead, having had none for two nights, woke thinking of Nedda hovering above him in the dark; of her face laid down beside him on the pillow. And then, suddenly, up started that thing, and stood there, haunting him! Why did it come? What did it want of him? After writing the little note to Nedda, he hurried to the station and found a train about to start. To see and talk with the laborers; to do something, anything to prove that this tragic companion had no real existence! He went first to the Gaunts' cottage. The door, there, was opened by the rogue-girl, comely and robust as ever, in a linen frock, with her sleeves rolled up, and smiling broadly at his astonishment.

Derek, who had slept like a log after not getting any rest for two nights, woke up thinking about Nedda hovering above him in the dark; about her face resting next to his on the pillow. Then, suddenly, that thing sprang up and stood there, haunting him! Why was it there? What did it want from him? After quickly writing a note to Nedda, he rushed to the station and saw a train about to leave. He needed to see and talk with the workers; to do something, anything, to prove that this tragic presence wasn’t real! He first went to the Gaunts' cottage. The door was opened by the mischievous girl, as charming and strong as ever, in a linen dress with her sleeves rolled up, smiling widely at his surprise.

“Don't be afraid, Mr. Derek; I'm only here for the week-end, just to tiddy up a bit. 'Tis all right in London. I wouldn't come back here, I wouldn't—not if you was to give me—” and she pouted her red lips.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Derek; I’m just here for the weekend, just to tidy up a bit. Everything’s fine in London. I wouldn’t come back here, I wouldn’t—not even if you were to give me—” and she pouted her red lips.

“Where's your father, Wilmet?”

“Where's your dad, Wilmet?”

“Over in Willey's Copse cuttin' stakes. I hear you've been ill, Mr. Derek. You do look pale. Were you very bad?” And her eyes opened as though the very thought of illness was difficult for her to grasp. “I saw your young lady up in London. She's very pretty. Wish you happiness, Mr. Derek. Grandfather, here's Mr. Derek!”

“Over in Willey's Copse cutting stakes. I heard you were sick, Mr. Derek. You look really pale. Were you very bad?” And her eyes widened as if the idea of illness was hard for her to understand. “I saw your girlfriend in London. She's very pretty. I wish you happiness, Mr. Derek. Grandfather, here’s Mr. Derek!”

The face of old Gaunt, carved, cynical, yellow, appeared above her shoulder. There he stood, silent, giving Derek no greeting. And with a sudden miserable feeling the boy said:

The face of old Gaunt, worn, cynical, and yellow, appeared over her shoulder. He stood there, silent, not acknowledging Derek. With a sudden wave of misery, the boy said:

“I'll go and find him. Good-by, Wilmet!”

“I'll go and find him. Bye, Wilmet!”

“Good-by, Mr. Derek. 'Tis quiet enough here now; there's changes.”

"Goodbye, Mr. Derek. It's pretty quiet here now; there are changes."

Her rogue face twinkled again, and, turning her chin, she rubbed it on her plump shoulder, as might a heifer, while from behind her Grandfather Gaunt's face looked out with a faint, sardonic grin.

Her mischievous face sparkled again, and, tilting her chin, she rubbed it against her soft shoulder, like a young cow, while behind her, Grandfather Gaunt's face emerged with a slight, sarcastic smile.

Derek, hurrying on to Willey's Copse, caught sight, along a far hedge, of the big dark laborer, Tulley, who had been his chief lieutenant in the fighting; but, whether the man heard his hail or no, he continued along the hedgeside without response and vanished over a stile. The field dipped sharply to a stream, and at the crossing Derek came suddenly on the little 'dot-here dot-there' cowherd, who, at Derek's greeting, gave him an abrupt “Good day!” and went on with his occupation of mending a hurdle. Again that miserable feeling beset the boy, and he hastened on. A sound of chopping guided him. Near the edge of the coppice Tom Gaunt was lopping at some bushes. At sight of Derek he stopped and stood waiting, his loquacious face expressionless, his little, hard eye cocked.

Derek, rushing toward Willey's Copse, spotted the big dark laborer, Tulley, along a distant hedge. Whether the man heard his call or not, he kept walking along the hedgeside without replying and disappeared over a stile. The field dropped steeply to a stream, and when Derek reached the crossing, he suddenly came across the little 'dot-here dot-there' cowherd, who returned Derek's greeting with a curt “Good day!” and went back to fixing a hurdle. Once again, that miserable feeling washed over the boy, and he hurried on. The sound of chopping directed him. At the edge of the coppice, Tom Gaunt was trimming some bushes. When he saw Derek, he stopped and stood still, his chatty face blank, and his small, sharp eye alert.

“Good morning, Tom. It's ages since I saw you.”

“Good morning, Tom. It's been a long time since I saw you.”

“Ah, 'tis a proper long time! You 'ad a knock.”

“Wow, it’s been a really long time! You got a knock.”

Derek winced; it was said as if he had been disabled in an affair in which Gaunt had neither part nor parcel. Then, with a great effort, the boy brought out his question:

Derek winced; it sounded as if he had been injured in a situation where Gaunt had no involvement at all. Then, with a lot of effort, the boy managed to ask his question:

“You've heard about poor Bob?”

“Have you heard about Bob?”

“Yaas; 'tis the end of HIM.”

“Yeah; this is the end of HIM.”

Some meaning behind those words, the unsmiling twist of that hard-bitten face, the absence of the 'sir' that even Tom Gaunt generally gave him, all seemed part of an attack. And, feeling as if his heart were being squeezed, Derek looked straight into his face.

Some meaning behind those words, the serious twist of that tough face, the lack of the 'sir' that even Tom Gaunt usually gave him, all felt like part of an attack. And, feeling as if his heart were being squeezed, Derek looked directly into his face.

“What's the matter, Tom?”

“What's wrong, Tom?”

“Matter! I don' know as there's anything the matter, ezactly!”

“Matter! I don't know if there's really anything wrong, exactly!”

“What have I done? Tell me!”

“What did I do? Tell me!”

Tom Gaunt smiled; his little, gray eyes met Derek's full.

Tom Gaunt smiled; his small, gray eyes locked onto Derek's completely.

“'Tisn't for a gentleman to be held responsible.”

"It isn't up to a gentleman to be held responsible."

“Come!” Derek cried passionately. “What is it? D'you think I deserted you, or what? Speak out, man!”

“Come on!” Derek shouted urgently. “What’s going on? Do you think I abandoned you or something? Just say it, man!”

Abating nothing of his stare and drawl, Gaunt answered:

Abating nothing of his stare and drawl, Gaunt answered:

“Deserted? Oh, dear no! Us can't afford to do no more dyin' for you—that's all!”

“Deserted? Oh, no way! We can't afford to die for you anymore—that's all!”

“For me! Dying! My God! D'you think I wouldn't have—? Oh! Confound you!”

“For me! Dying! Oh my God! Do you think I wouldn’t have—? Ugh! Damn you!”

“Aye! Confounded us you 'ave! Hope you're satisfied!”

“Aye! You've really confused us! Hope you're happy with yourself!”

Pale as death and quivering all over, Derek answered:

Pale as a ghost and shaking all over, Derek replied:

“So you think I've just been frying fish of my own?”

“So you think I’ve just been cooking my own fish?”

Tom Gaunt, emitted a little laugh.

Tom Gaunt let out a small laugh.

“I think you've fried no fish at all. That's what I think. And no one else does, neither, if you want to know—except poor Bob. You've fried his fish, sure enough!”

“I think you haven't cooked any fish at all. That's what I think. And no one else thinks so either, if you want to know—except poor Bob. You've definitely cooked his fish!”

Stung to the heart, the boy stood motionless. A pigeon was cooing; the sappy scent from the lopped bushes filled all the sun-warmed air.

Stung to the heart, the boy stood still. A pigeon was cooing; the sweet scent from the trimmed bushes filled the sun-warmed air.

“I see!” he said. “Thanks, Tom; I'm glad to know.”

“I get it!” he said. “Thanks, Tom; I appreciate it.”

Without moving a muscle, Tom Gaunt answered:

Without moving a muscle, Tom Gaunt replied:

“Don't mention it!” and resumed his lopping.

“Don’t mention it!” and continued his chopping.

Derek turned and walked out of the little wood. But when he had put a field between him and the sound of Gaunt's bill-hook, he lay down and buried his face in the grass, chewing at its green blades, scarce dry of dew, and with its juicy sweetness tasting the full of bitterness. And the gray shade stalked out again, and stood there in the warmth of the August day, with its scent and murmur of full summer, while the pigeons cooed and dandelion fluff drifted by....

Derek turned and walked out of the small woods. But once he had created some distance from the sound of Gaunt's billhook, he lay down and buried his face in the grass, chewing on the green blades, barely dry from the dew, with its juicy sweetness tasting overwhelmingly bitter. The gray figure emerged again, standing in the warmth of the August day, surrounded by the scent and sounds of full summer, while the pigeons cooed and dandelion fluff floated by...

When, two hours later, he entered the kitchen at home, of the company assembled Frances Freeland alone retained equanimity enough to put up her face to be kissed.

When he walked into the kitchen at home two hours later, out of the group gathered there, only Frances Freeland was calm enough to offer her face for a kiss.

“I'm so thankful you've come back in time to see your uncles, darling. Your Uncle John thinks, and we all agree, that to encourage those poor laborers to do things which are not nice is—is—you know what I mean, darling!”

“I'm so glad you came back in time to see your uncles, sweetheart. Your Uncle John believes, and we all agree, that getting those poor workers to do things that aren't right is—is—you know what I mean, sweetheart!”

Derek gave a bitter little laugh.

Derek let out a bitter laugh.

“Criminal, Granny! Yes, and puppyish! I've learned all that.”

“Criminal, Grandma! Yeah, and totally childish! I've figured all that out.”

The sound of his voice was utterly unlike his own, and Kirsteen, starting forward, put her arm round him.

The sound of his voice was completely different from his own, and Kirsteen, stepping forward, put her arm around him.

“It's all right, Mother. They've chucked me.”

"It's okay, Mom. They've let me go."

At that moment, when all, save his mother, wanted so to express their satisfaction, Frances Freeland alone succeeded.

At that moment, when everyone except his mother wanted to show their satisfaction, only Frances Freeland managed to do so.

“I'm so glad, darling!”

"I'm so happy, babe!"

Then John rose and, holding out his hand to his nephew, said:

Then John stood up and, extending his hand to his nephew, said:

“That's the end of the trouble, then, Derek?”

“Is that the end of the trouble, then, Derek?”

“Yes. And I beg your pardon, Uncle John; and all—Uncle Stanley, Uncle Felix; you, Dad; Granny.”

“Yes. And I’m sorry, Uncle John; and everyone—Uncle Stanley, Uncle Felix; you, Dad; Granny.”

They had all risen now. The boy's face gave them—even John, even Stanley—a choke in the throat. Frances Freeland suddenly took their arms and went to the door; her other two sons followed. And quietly they all went out.

They had all gotten up now. The boy's face struck them—all of them, even John, even Stanley—with a lump in their throats. Frances Freeland suddenly took their arms and headed for the door; her other two sons followed. And quietly they all left.

Derek, who had stayed perfectly still, staring past Nedda into a corner of the room, said:

Derek, who had been completely still, gazing past Nedda into a corner of the room, said:

“Ask him what he wants, Mother.”

“Ask him what he wants, Mom.”

Nedda smothered down a cry. But Kirsteen, tightening her clasp of him and looking steadily into that corner, answered:

Nedda stifled a cry. But Kirsteen, gripping him tighter and looking intently into that corner, replied:

“Nothing, my boy. He's quite friendly. He only wants to be with you for a little.”

“Nothing, my boy. He's really nice. He just wants to be around you for a bit.”

“But I can't do anything for him.”

"But I can't do anything for him."

“He knows that.”

"He knows that."

“I wish he wouldn't, Mother. I can't be more sorry than I have been.”

“I wish he wouldn't, Mom. I can't feel worse than I already do.”

Kirsteen's face quivered.

Kirsteen's face shook.

“My dear, it will go quite soon. Love Nedda! See! She wants you!”

“My dear, it will be over soon. Love, Nedda! Look! She wants you!”

Derek answered in the same quiet voice:

Derek replied in the same soft tone:

“Yes, Nedda is the comfort. Mother, I want to go away—away out of England—right away.”

“Yes, Nedda is the comfort. Mom, I want to leave—leave England—really go far away.”

Nedda rushed and flung her arms round him.

Nedda hurried and wrapped her arms around him.

“I, too, Derek; I, too!”

“I, too, Derek; I, too!”

That evening Felix came out to the old 'fly,' waiting to take him from Joyfields to Becket. What a sky! All over its pale blue a far-up wind had drifted long, rosy clouds, and through one of them the half-moon peered, of a cheese-green hue; and, framed and barred by the elm-trees, like some roseate, stained-glass window, the sunset blazed. In a corner of the orchard a little bonfire had been lighted, and round it he could see the three small Trysts dropping armfuls of leaves and pointing at the flames leaping out of the smoulder. There, too, was Tod's big figure, motionless, and his dog sitting on its haunches, with head poked forward, staring at those red tongues of flame. Kirsteen had come with him to the wicket gate. He held her hand long in his own and pressed it hard. And while that blue figure, turned to the sunset, was still visible, he screwed himself back to look.

That evening, Felix stepped out to the old 'fly,' waiting to take him from Joyfields to Becket. What a sky! All over its pale blue, a high-up wind had drifted long, rosy clouds, and through one of them, the half-moon peeked, with a cheese-green hue; and, framed and barred by the elm trees, the sunset blazed like a stained-glass window in pink. In one corner of the orchard, a little bonfire had been lit, and around it, he could see the three small Trysts dropping handfuls of leaves and pointing at the flames leaping from the embers. There was also Tod's big figure, motionless, and his dog sitting on its haunches, with its head poked forward, staring at those red tongues of flame. Kirsteen had come with him to the wicket gate. He held her hand tightly in his own and squeezed it. And while that blue figure, turned toward the sunset, was still visible, he turned back to look.

They had been in painful conclave, as it seemed to Felix, all day, coming to the decision that those two young things should have their wish, marry, and go out to New Zealand. The ranch of Cousin Alick Morton (son of that brother of Frances Freeland, who, absorbed in horses, had wandered to Australia and died in falling from them) had extended a welcome to Derek. Those two would have a voyage of happiness—see together the red sunsets in the Mediterranean, Pompeii, and the dark ants of men swarming in endless band up and down with their coal-sacks at Port Said; smell the cinnamon gardens of Colombo; sit up on deck at night and watch the stars.... Who could grudge it them? Out there youth and energy would run unchecked. For here youth had been beaten!

They had been in a painful meeting, as it seemed to Felix, all day, deciding that those two young people should get their way, marry, and head to New Zealand. Cousin Alick Morton's ranch (the son of that brother of Frances Freeland, who, obsessed with horses, had gone to Australia and died after falling from one) had offered Derek a warm welcome. Those two would have a journey full of happiness—seeing the red sunsets in the Mediterranean, exploring Pompeii, and watching the busy crowds with their coal sacks at Port Said; smelling the cinnamon gardens of Colombo; staying up on deck at night and gazing at the stars... Who could deny them that? Out there, youth and energy would be free to thrive. Here, youth had been defeated!

On and on the old 'fly' rumbled between the shadowy fields. 'The world is changing, Felix—changing!' Was that defeat of youth, then, nothing? Under the crust of authority and wealth, culture and philosophy—was the world really changing; was liberty truly astir, under that sky in the west all blood; and man rising at long last from his knees before the God of force? The silent, empty fields darkened, the air gathered dewy thickness, and the old 'fly' rumbled and rolled as slow as fate. Cottage lamps were already lighted for the evening meal. No laborer abroad at this hour! And Felix thought of Tryst, the tragic fellow—the moving, lonely figure; emanation of these solitary fields, shade of the departing land! One might well see him as that boy saw him, silent, dogged, in a gray light such as this now clinging above the hedgerows and the grass!

On and on the old 'fly' rattled through the dim fields. "The world is changing, Felix—changing!" Was that defeat of youth really nothing? Beneath the surface of authority and wealth, culture and philosophy—was the world truly evolving; was freedom really stirring, under that blood-red sky in the west; and was man finally rising from his knees before the God of force? The quiet, empty fields grew darker, the air became thick with moisture, and the old 'fly' clattered along as slowly as fate. Cottage lights were already on for dinner. No laborers were out at this hour! And Felix thought of Tryst, the tragic soul—the moving, lonely figure; a part of these solitary fields, a shadow of the fading land! One could easily see him as that boy did, silent, determined, in a gray light like the one now lingering above the hedgerows and the grass!

The old 'fly' turned into the Becket drive. It had grown dark now, save for the half-moon; the last chafer was booming by, and a bat flitting, a little, blind, eager bat, through the quiet trees. He got out to walk the last few hundred yards. A lovely night, silent below her stars—cool and dark, spread above field after field, wood on wood, for hundreds of miles on every side. Night covering his native land. The same silence had reigned out there, the same perfume stolen up, the same star-shine fallen, for millions of years in the past, and would for millions of years to come. Close to where the half-moon floated, a slow, narrow, white cloud was passing—curiously shaped. At one end of it Felix could see distinctly the form of a gleaming skull, with dark sky showing through its eyeholes, cheeks, and mouth. A queer phenomenon; fascinating, rather ghastly! It grew sharper in outline, more distinct. One of those sudden shudders, that seize men from the crown of the head to the very heels, passed down his back. He shut his eyes. And, instead, there came up before him Kirsteen's blue-clothed figure turned to the sunset glow. Ah! Better to see that than this skull above the land! Better to believe her words: 'The world is changing, Felix—changing!'

The old 'fly' turned into the Becket drive. It was dark now, except for the half-moon; the last beetle was buzzing by, and a little, blind, eager bat was flitting through the quiet trees. He got out to walk the last few hundred yards. It was a lovely night, silent under her stars—cool and dark, stretching over fields and woods for hundreds of miles in every direction. Night was covering his homeland. The same silence had been out there, the same scent rising up, the same starlight shining down, for millions of years in the past, and would continue for millions of years into the future. Near where the half-moon floated, a slow, narrow, white cloud was passing—strangely shaped. At one end of it, Felix could distinctly see the form of a shining skull, with dark sky showing through its eye sockets, cheeks, and mouth. A strange sight; intriguing, yet somewhat eerie! It grew sharper in outline, more defined. A sudden shiver, that grips people from head to toe, ran down his back. He shut his eyes. Instead, he imagined Kirsteen's figure in blue turning to the sunset glow. Ah! Much better to see that than this skull above the land! Better to believe her words: 'The world is changing, Felix—changing!'






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