This is a modern-English version of The Governess, originally written by Lippmann, Julie M..
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There she stood
THE GOVERNESS
BY
JULIE M. LIPPMANN
Author of
"MAMMA-BY-THE-DAY," etc.
Illustrated by
CHARLES R. CHICKERING
McClelland, Goodchild & Stewart
Publishers ——— Toronto
1916
Copyright 1897 by
THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY
Copyright 1916 by
THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY
The Governess
Contents
CHAP. | |
I | NAN |
II | NAN'S VISITOR |
III | MR. TURNER'S PLAN |
IV | THE GOVERNESS |
V | GETTING ACQUAINTED |
VI | WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS |
VII | OPEN CONFESSION |
VIII | NAN'S HEROINE |
IX | HAVING HER OWN WAY |
X | EXPERIENCES |
XI | CHRISTMAS |
XII | SMALL CLOUDS |
XIII | ON THE ICE |
XIV | CHANGES |
XV | A TUG OF WAR |
XVI | THE SLEIGH-RIDE |
XVII | CONSEQUENCES |
XVIII | "CHESTER NEWCOMB" |
XIX | IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM |
XX | THROUGH DEEP WATERS |
XXI | ANOTHER CHRISTMAS |
Illustrations
There she stood . . . . . . Frontispiece
"I'll run away first!"
The little governess was beside her
"I have a little errand to do"
"Provoking things!"
The Governess
CHAPTER I
NAN
"Hello, Nan!"
"Hey, Nan!"
"Heyo, Ruthie!"
"Hey, Ruthie!"
"Where are you going?"
"Where are you headed?"
"Over to Reid's lot."
"Over to Reid's place."
"Take me?"
"Take me with you?"
"No, Ruthie, can't."
"No, Ruthie, I can't."
The little child's lip began to tremble. "I think you're real mean, Nan Cutler," she complained.
The little kid's lip started to shake. "I think you're really mean, Nan Cutler," she said.
Nan shook her head. "Can't help it if you do," she returned, stoutly, and took a step on.
Nan shook her head. "Not my problem if you do," she replied firmly and took a step forward.
"Nannie," cried the child eagerly, starting after her and clutching her by the skirt, "I didn't mean that! Truly, I didn't. I think you're just as nice as you can be. Do please let me go with you. Won't you?"
"Nannie," the child exclaimed eagerly, running after her and grabbing her skirt, "I didn't mean it! I really didn't. I think you're as nice as can be. Please let me go with you. Will you?"
Nan compressed her lips. "Now, Ruth, look here," she said after a moment, in which she stood considering, "I'd take you in a minute if I could but the truth is—oh, you're too little."
Nan pressed her lips together. "Now, Ruth, listen," she said after a moment of thought, "I'd take you in a second if I could, but the truth is—oh, you're just too small."
"I ain't too little!"
"I'm not too small!"
"Well, then, your mother doesn't like you to be with me, so there!" cried Nan, in a burst of reckless frankness.
"Well, your mom doesn't want you hanging out with me, so there!" cried Nan, in a moment of bold honesty.
Ruth hung her head. She could not deny it but at sight of her companion turning to leave her she again started forward, piping shrilly, "Nannie! Nannie! She won't care this time. Honest, she won't."
Ruth hung her head. She couldn’t deny it, but when she saw her friend about to leave, she rushed forward, calling out loudly, “Nannie! Nannie! She won’t mind this time. I swear, she won’t.”
Nan stalked on without turning her head.
Nan walked on without looking back.
The hurrying little feet followed on close behind.
The rushing little feet followed closely behind.
"Nannie! Nannie!"
"Nana! Nana!"
"See here, Ruth," exclaimed the girl, veering suddenly about and speaking with decision. "You can't come, and that's all there is about it. Your mother doesn't like me, and you ought not to disobey her. Now run back home like a good little girl."
"Listen, Ruth," the girl said, turning abruptly and speaking firmly. "You can't come, and that's final. Your mom doesn't like me, and you shouldn't go against her. Now go back home like a good girl."
The delicate, small face upturned to hers grew hardened and set, but the child did not move.
The fragile, small face turned up to hers became steely and resolved, but the child didn’t budge.
Nan gave her a friendly shove on the shoulder and turned on her way again. Immediately she heard the tap of hurrying little feet behind, like the echoing sound of her own hasty footsteps. She stopped and swung about abruptly.
Nan gave her a friendly push on the shoulder and continued on her way. Immediately, she heard the sound of hurried little feet behind her, echoing her own quick footsteps. She stopped and turned around abruptly.
"Are you going to be a good little girl and go back this minute?" she demanded sternly, calling to her assistance all the dignity of her fourteen years, and turning on the poor infant a severe, unrelenting eye.
"Are you going to be a good little girl and go back right now?" she demanded sternly, summoning all the dignity of her fourteen years and giving the poor baby a serious, unwavering stare.
The child gazed up at her reproachfully, but did not reply.
The child looked up at her with disappointment but didn’t say anything.
Nan felt herself fast losing patience. "Of all the provoking little witches!" she exclaimed, in an underbreath of irritation.
Nan felt her patience wearing thin. "Of all the annoying little witches!" she exclaimed, under her breath in frustration.
Ruth's rebuking eyes surveyed her calmly, but she made no response.
Ruth's piercing gaze studied her quietly, but she didn't say anything.
"Now be good and trot along back," cajoled Nan, changing her tactics and stroking the child's soft hair caressingly.
"Now be a good girl and head back," Nan coaxed, switching up her approach and gently stroking the child's soft hair.
There was a visible pursing of the obstinate little lips, but no further sign of acknowledgment.
There was a noticeable tightening of the stubborn little lips, but no additional sign of recognition.
Nan dropped her voice to a tone of honey-sweetness. "See here, Ruthie, if you'll go home this minute I'll give you five cents. You can buy anything you like with it at Sam's, on the way back." She plunged her hand into her pocket and drew forth a bright new nickel, and held it alluringly aloft.
Nan lowered her voice to a sweet, honey-like tone. "Listen, Ruthie, if you go home right now, I'll give you five cents. You can buy whatever you want at Sam's on your way back." She reached into her pocket, pulled out a shiny new nickel, and held it up enticingly.
The azure eyes gazed at it appreciatively, but the hand was not outstretched to receive it. For a second Nan reviewed the situation in silence. Then she flung about with a movement of exasperation, and marched on stolidly, and the smaller feet hastened after her, keeping pace with difficulty, and often breaking into a little run that they might not be outstripped.
The blue eyes looked at it with appreciation, but the hand didn't reach out to take it. For a moment, Nan silently assessed the situation. Then, in frustration, she turned away and walked on determinedly, while the smaller feet hurried after her, struggling to keep up and often breaking into a quick run so they wouldn't fall behind.
A chill autumn wind was sweeping up heavily from the northeast, and the air was cold and raw. Nan shuddered as she walked, and wished Ruth were safe and sound in her own warm home, which she never should have been permitted to leave this blustering day. A score of plans for ridding herself of her troublesome little follower crowded Nan's brain. She might run and leave the youngster behind. But then Ruth would cry, and Nan could not bear to inflict pain on a little child. She might take her up in her arms and carry her bodily back to her own door. Well, and what then? Why, simply, she would get the credit of abusing the little girl. There seemed no way out of it. She stalked on grimly, and when she came to Reid's lot she promptly and dexterously climbed its fence and continued her way in silence. But the fence proved an insurmountable obstacle to Ruth. She stood outside and wailed dismally. The sound smote Nan, and made her turn around.
A cold autumn wind was blowing strongly from the northeast, and the air felt freezing and rough. Nan shivered as she walked and wished Ruth was safe and cozy in her own warm home, which she never should have been allowed to leave on such a blustery day. A bunch of ideas for getting rid of her annoying little follower filled Nan's mind. She could just run and leave the girl behind. But then Ruth would cry, and Nan couldn't stand to hurt a little child. She could pick her up and carry her back to her own door. But what then? It would just look like she was mistreating the little girl. There seemed to be no way out of it. She trudged on grimly, and when she reached Reid's lot, she quickly climbed over the fence and continued on in silence. But the fence was too high for Ruth. She stood outside and cried sadly. The sound hit Nan, making her turn around.
"Ruth Newton, you deserve to be spanked!" she announced, severely.
"Ruth Newton, you deserve a spanking!" she declared sternly.
The child uttered another wail of entreaty. Nan sprang up to the cross-bar of the palings, gathered her skirts about her knees, and leaped down.
The child let out another cry for help. Nan jumped up to the crossbar of the fence, gathered her skirts around her knees, and jumped down.
"Here, let me boost you, since you will get over," she said sharply.
"Here, let me help you up, since you'll manage," she said sharply.
After they were both safely on the other side Ruth's spirit rose, and she capered about in the freedom of the open space as wildly as a young colt. Nan had come for chestnuts. She announced the same presently to Ruth. Ruth shouted gleefully.
After they were both safely on the other side, Ruth's spirits lifted, and she danced around in the open space as freely as a young colt. Nan had come for chestnuts. She soon told Ruth that. Ruth shouted with joy.
"I'm going to climb the tree. You can stand underneath and pick up what I shake, only mind you don't get the burr-prickles in your fingers, for they hurt like sixty," warned Nan.
"I'm going to climb the tree. You can stand underneath and catch what I shake down, just be careful not to get the burr-prickles in your fingers because they really hurt," warned Nan.
The child nodded her head and pranced over the brown, stubbly ground with dancing feet, her cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing with satisfaction.
The child nodded and skipped across the brown, patchy ground with lively feet, her cheeks glowing and her eyes sparkling with happiness.
She watched Nan with the liveliest interest, and when the older girl was once comfortably ensconced in the lofty branches, she executed a sort of war-dance underneath, and spread her tiny skirt to catch the rain of nuts that Nan shook down upon her from above. But presently this began to pall.
She watched Nan with great interest, and when the older girl was comfortably settled in the high branches, she did a sort of dance underneath and spread her little skirt to catch the rain of nuts that Nan shook down on her from above. But soon this started to lose its excitement.
"I want to come up where you are, Nannie," she called, coaxingly.
"I want to come up where you are, Nannie," she called, sweetly.
"You'll have to want then," retorted Nan, carelessly munching nuts like a squirrel.
"You'll have to really want it then," replied Nan, casually snacking on nuts like a squirrel.
"I could climb's good as anything if only I had a boost," drawled the child ruefully.
"I could climb as well as anyone if only I had a boost," the child said with a sigh.
Nan sprinkled a handful of shucks on her head.
Nan tossed a handful of husks on her head.
"I'm going to try," ventured Ruth.
"I'm going to give it a shot," Ruth said.
Nan laughed.
Nan chuckled.
Ruth looked around, trying to discover some means by which she might accomplish her purpose. Nan felt so sure that the child could not do what she threatened that she made no effort to dissuade her. She, herself, passed from bough to bough as nimbly as a boy, in spite of her skirts, and in a very short time was almost out of sight among the upper spreading branches. She sat astride one of these, swinging to and fro and luxuriating in her sense of freedom and adventure. Peering down occasionally she saw Ruth standing beneath her and sent repeated showers of nuts spinning through the boughs to keep the child busy. But presently Ruth disappeared. She had spied an old piece of board and she immediately flew to get it, her silly little head filled with the idea of making it serve her as a ladder. She tugged it laboriously across the stubbly field, and her short, panting breaths did not reach Nan's ear, full of the near rustle of leaves and the hum of the scudding wind.
Ruth looked around, trying to find a way to achieve her goal. Nan was so confident that the child wouldn’t be able to do what she threatened that she didn’t try to talk her out of it. She moved from branch to branch as nimbly as a boy, despite her skirts, and soon was almost out of sight among the wide-spreading upper branches. She sat astride one of these, swinging back and forth and enjoying her sense of freedom and adventure. Occasionally peeking down, she saw Ruth standing below and sent down showers of nuts to keep the child entertained. But soon, Ruth disappeared. She had spotted an old piece of board and quickly ran to get it, her silly little head filled with the idea of using it as a ladder. She dragged it slowly across the rough field, and her short, panting breaths didn’t reach Nan's ears, which were full of the nearby rustle of leaves and the sound of the wind rushing by.
"Ahoy! below there!" she shouted nautically from above.
"Hey there!" she shouted from above.
Ruth was too busy to respond. The board was heavy, and it took all the strength of her slight arms to get it in position.
Ruth was too busy to reply. The board was heavy, and it took all the strength in her slim arms to lift it into place.
"Shipmate ahoy!" repeated Nan.
"Ahoy, shipmate!" Nan repeated.
By this time the board had been tilted against the tree and Ruth was scrambling up the unsteady inclined plane, too absorbed and scared in her adventure to reply. She actually managed to reach the top and to stand there tiptoeing the edge uncertainly, her small fingers clasping the tree-trunk convulsively and her arms trying to grapple with it for a surer hold. But suddenly she gave a piercing scream, and Nan, peering down through the branches in instant alarm, saw Ruth lying at the foot of the tree in a pitiful little motionless heap, and knew in a moment that she had tried to do what she had threatened and had failed.
By this time, the board had been tilted against the tree, and Ruth was scrambling up the shaky incline, too caught up and scared in her adventure to respond. She actually managed to reach the top and stood there, teetering on the edge uncertainly, her small fingers desperately gripping the tree trunk and her arms trying to find a better hold. But suddenly, she let out a piercing scream, and Nan, looking down through the branches in immediate alarm, saw Ruth lying at the base of the tree in a sad little motionless pile and realized in an instant that she had tried to do what she had threatened and had failed.
It did not take Nan a minute to reach the ground. Her heart seemed to stand still with fear. She flung herself from bough to bough with reckless haste and dropped to the ground all in one breathless instant.
It didn't take Nan long to get to the ground. Her heart felt like it had stopped from fear. She jumped from branch to branch with wild urgency and fell to the ground all in one breathless moment.
"Ruth," she cried, bending over the little prostrate figure in an agony. "Ruth, open your eyes! Get up! Oh, please get up!"
"Ruth," she cried, leaning over the small, collapsed figure in agony. "Ruth, open your eyes! Get up! Oh, please get up!"
There was no answer. Nan wrung her hands in despair. The cold wind blew over the field in chilling gusts. It made her shudder, and instinctively she took a step toward her warm coat, which she had stripped off and cast aside before climbing the tree. At sight of it a new thought struck her. Ruth lying there on the frosty ground would surely take cold—perhaps die from it! In a twinkling the soft, woolly garment was wrapped securely about the child and Nan had her two stout arms around her and was half dragging, half carrying her in the direction of the distant fence. But they had not covered a dozen yards before she felt her strength begin to fail. She was lifting a dead weight, and it seemed to drag more heavily upon her every moment. Her arms pulled in their sockets and her breath came in painful gasps, and she knew that if she tried to keep on as she was it would be at the cost of increasing misery. Still she did not give up, and at last, after what seemed to her hours of agony and suspense, she actually reached the limit of the field. She laid Ruth gently upon the ground and straightened herself up to ease her aching back and regain her lost breath before taking up her burden again. But as she lifted her head her eyes fell on the high pickets before her, which seemed to confront her with as grim defiance as if they had been bayonets. How could she get Ruth over? The gate, which was at another end of the lot, was always kept padlocked, and even if she had remembered this at first and had carried the child there, she could not have undone the bolt. This was the last straw! She felt frustrated and defeated, and a low sob of complete discouragement broke from her. It was useless to dream of getting Ruth over alone. The only way that remained was to secure help, that was plain. She looked about wildly, but not a soul was in sight, and she knew in her heart that the chances were against her. The street at this point was near the city limits, and it had not been built up as yet. There would be nothing to call any one here unless it might be some boy who, like herself, had come out for chestnuts, and what use would a mere boy be? If only John Gardiner were here! John was tall and strong, and would lend a hand in a jiffy. But John also was miles away. Ruth's eyes opened for a second and then closed sleepily again. Nan's heart leaped up with new hope.
There was no answer. Nan wrung her hands in despair. The cold wind blew over the field in chilling gusts. It made her shudder, and she instinctively stepped toward her warm coat, which she had taken off and cast aside before climbing the tree. Seeing it sparked a new thought. Ruth lying there on the frosty ground would surely catch a cold—maybe even die from it! In a flash, the soft, woolly garment was wrapped securely around the child, and Nan had her two strong arms around her, half dragging, half carrying her toward the distant fence. But they hadn't covered a dozen yards before she felt her strength start to fade. She was lifting a dead weight, and it seemed to pull more heavily on her with every moment. Her arms felt like they were being pulled from their sockets, and her breath came in painful gasps. She knew that if she kept going like this, it would only lead to more misery. Still, she didn’t give up, and finally, after what felt like hours of agony and suspense, she reached the edge of the field. She laid Ruth gently on the ground and straightened up to ease her aching back and catch her breath before picking up her burden again. But as she lifted her head, her eyes fell on the high pickets in front of her, which seemed to confront her with grim defiance as if they were bayonets. How could she get Ruth over? The gate, which was at the other end of the lot, was always padlocked, and even if she had remembered it at first and carried the child there, she wouldn’t be able to undo the bolt. This was the last straw! She felt frustrated and defeated, and a low sob of complete discouragement escaped her. It was pointless to think about getting Ruth over by herself. The only option left was to find help, that was obvious. She looked around wildly, but not a soul was in sight, and deep down she knew the odds were against her. The street here was near the city limits, and it hadn’t been developed yet. There wouldn’t be anything to draw anyone here unless it was some boy who, like her, had come out for chestnuts, and what use would a mere boy be? If only John Gardiner were here! John was tall and strong and would lend a hand immediately. But John was also miles away. Ruth's eyes opened for a second and then closed sleepily again. Nan's heart jumped with new hope.
"Ruth! Ruth!" she called eagerly bending over her and stroking her cheek tenderly. But her hope was short-lived. The eyelids remained shut, and the child only breathed deeper than before. Nan's own heart seemed to stop in her anxiety for Ruth. Suddenly she sprang to her feet. Surely she had heard the rattle of wheels! Ever so far and indistinct to be sure, but still unmistakably wheels, clattering over some distant cobbles. She raised her voice and shouted; then held her breath to listen. The clatter grew more distinct; it drew nearer and nearer. She clambered up the fence and stood there waving her arms and shouting as madly as if she had been a shipwrecked mariner sighting a sail. She paused a moment to listen. The rattling wheels came nearer. She shouted again and then waited, listening intently. The rattling stopped. She set up a wild howl of dismay and kept it up till her ears seemed on the point of splitting. But now the clatter of wheels had begun again and she could see a milk cart rounding the corner of the street. She gave a long, shrill whistle and leaped down and ran frantically out into the road, straight for the horse's head.
"Ruth! Ruth!" she called eagerly, bending over her and gently stroking her cheek. But her hope was short-lived. The child's eyelids stayed shut, and she breathed deeper than before. Nan's own heart felt like it was stopping in her anxiety for Ruth. Suddenly, she jumped to her feet. Surely she heard the sound of wheels! Distinct yet far off, but unmistakably wheels clattering over some distant cobblestones. She raised her voice and shouted, then held her breath to listen. The clattering grew clearer; it came closer and closer. She climbed up the fence and stood there, waving her arms and shouting like a shipwrecked sailor spotting a sail. She paused for a moment to listen. The rattling wheels came nearer. She shouted again and then waited, listening intently. The rattling stopped. She let out a wild howl of dismay and kept it up until her ears felt like they were about to burst. But now the sound of wheels started up again, and she could see a milk cart turning the corner of the street. She gave a long, loud whistle, jumped down, and ran frantically out into the road, straight for the horse's head.
It was a second or two before the astonished driver could be made to understand, but when he did, he bounded out of his cart willingly enough, vaulted over the fence and then bade Nan "stand hard" while he lifted Ruth into her arms. Her weight was nothing to the brawny fellow, and he had her safely stowed away on the seat of his cart, with Nan crouching on the floor beside her and himself clinging to the step outside, in less time than it takes to tell it.
It took a second or two for the surprised driver to understand, but once he did, he jumped out of his cart without hesitation, vaulted over the fence, and told Nan to "hold on tight" while he lifted Ruth into her arms. Her weight was nothing for the strong guy, and he had her securely placed on the seat of his cart, with Nan crouching on the floor beside her and him holding onto the step outside, in no time at all.
Nan gave him the street and number in a trembling gasp of gratitude. He eyed her narrowly, and then seemed to sum up his conclusion in a low, keen whistle. Her hat was hanging by its elastic on her shoulders; her hair was blown out of all order by the wind; her dress was torn and her hands were bruised and none too clean. She had no coat on, and her cheeks were flaming with cold and excitement. She was an astonishing spectacle.
Nan gave him the street and number in a shaky gasp of gratitude. He looked at her closely, then seemed to sum up his thoughts with a low, sharp whistle. Her hat was dangling by its elastic on her shoulders; her hair was wildly blown by the wind; her dress was torn, and her hands were bruised and not very clean. She wasn’t wearing a coat, and her cheeks were bright red from the cold and excitement. She was an incredible sight.
"Guess you're a sort of high-flyer, ain't you?" said he at last without a sign of ill-nature.
"Looks like you're a bit of a high-flyer, huh?" he finally said, without any hint of bad mood.
Nan set her jaws and did not reply.
Nan clenched her jaw and stayed silent.
"Oh, well, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Only you look sorter wild-like, you know, and as if your mother didn't know you was out."
"Oh, well, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s just that you look kind of wild, you know, like your mom doesn’t know you’re out."
Nan's teeth snapped. "I haven't got any mother," she returned curtly. "She's dead."
Nan's teeth clicked together. "I don't have a mom," she shot back coldly. "She's gone."
The milkman looked uncomfortable. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other and muttered something about being sorry. Then for some time there was silence.
The milkman seemed uneasy. He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and mumbled something about being sorry. After that, there was silence for a while.
"That's the house," announced Nan at length, jumping to the step and hanging to the rail above the dashboard. "That third one from the corner, on this side. Please let me out first. I want to run ahead and tell."
"That's the house," Nan said finally, jumping onto the step and grabbing the rail above the dashboard. "That third one from the corner on this side. Please let me out first. I want to run ahead and tell."
Almost before he could rein in his horse she was out on the pavement. She flew to the area gate and pressed the bell with all her might. She kept her finger on it, and the cook came flying to the door, looking flushed and angry at the continuous ringing.
Almost before he could rein in his horse, she was out on the sidewalk. She rushed to the gate and rang the bell as hard as she could. She kept her finger on it, and the cook came running to the door, looking flustered and annoyed at the relentless ringing.
"Well, I might o' known," she said, eying Nan with unconcealed disfavor. "Do you think a body's deaf that you ring like that?"
"Well, I should've known," she said, looking at Nan with obvious disapproval. "Do you think someone is deaf just because you ring like that?"
Nan flung back her head resentfully.
Nan tossed her head back in resentment.
"Never mind what I think," she returned sharply. "Open the gate! Ruth is sick! She got hurt! Some one's bringing her in. Quick!"
"Forget what I think," she replied sharply. "Open the gate! Ruth is sick! She got hurt! Someone's bringing her in. Hurry!"
The gate was flung open with a bang, and the woman rushed out, clutching Ruth from the milkman's arms and carrying her into the house, muttering mingled caresses and abuse all the while; the caresses for Ruth and the abuse for Nan.
The gate swung open with a crash, and the woman hurried out, grabbing Ruth from the milkman's arms and taking her into the house, muttering a mix of affection and harsh words the whole time; the affection for Ruth and the harsh words for Nan.
The milkman turned on his heel and went his way unthanked, but by the time he got to the outer gate Nan had recollected herself, and had rushed after him, calling:
The milkman turned on his heel and went his way unthanked, but by the time he reached the outer gate, Nan had gathered herself and rushed after him, calling:
"Oh, please! I want to tell you—thank you ever so much!"
"Oh, come on! I just want to say—thank you so much!"
She was glad she had done it when she saw the gratified look on his face. When she got back to the area gate it was shut. Mary the chambermaid stood just inside it. She made no attempt to admit Nan. She simply stood there and looked her over from head to toe.
She was happy she had done it when she noticed the satisfied look on his face. When she got back to the area gate, it was closed. Mary the chambermaid was standing just inside it. She made no effort to let Nan in. She just stood there, checking her out from head to toe.
"Well, you're a pretty piece!" she remarked.
"Well, you’re a real catch!" she said.
"None of your business if I am," retorted Nan. "Let me in. I want to see Mrs. Newton."
"That's none of your business," Nan shot back. "Let me in. I want to see Mrs. Newton."
The maid took her hand from the knob and put it on her hip.
The maid took her hand off the doorknob and placed it on her hip.
"Mrs. Newton don't want to see you, though, I guess," she returned. "By this time Bridget's told her all she wants to know."
"Mrs. Newton doesn't want to see you, I guess," she replied. "By now, Bridget has told her everything she wants to know."
"But I must see her! I must tell her!" Nan insisted, stamping her foot. "Bridget don't know anything about it. No one does but me. Let me in, I say!"
"But I have to see her! I need to tell her!" Nan insisted, stamping her foot. "Bridget doesn't know anything about it. No one does except me. Let me in, I say!"
The girl laughed.
The girl laughed.
"Well, I'll go upstairs and tell Mrs. Newton. Then, if she wants to see you, she can," and she went inside and closed the door, leaving Nan to stand shuddering in the cold outside. Presently she came back, carrying the coat in her hands.
"Alright, I'll head upstairs and tell Mrs. Newton. If she wants to see you, she can," and she went inside and closed the door, leaving Nan shivering in the cold outside. After a little while, she returned, carrying the coat in her hands.
"Mrs. Newton says she hasn't time to see you now. She says she'll attend to you later. She says she can guess how it happened, and that if Ruth dies it'll be your fault. There, now, you know what's thought of you, and you can put it in your pipe and smoke it, you great, rough tomboy!"
"Mrs. Newton says she doesn't have time to see you right now. She says she'll get to you later. She thinks she can figure out how it happened, and that if Ruth dies, it'll be your fault. There you go, now you know what people think of you, and you can deal with it, you big, tough tomboy!"
The gate was thrust open a little way, the coat was flung out, and the door slammed to again, and once more Nan found herself in the area way alone. Burning tears of fury sprung to her eyes. She caught up her despised coat and dashed wildly out of the gate in a perfect tempest of anger and resentment.
The gate swung open slightly, the coat was tossed out, and the door slammed shut again, leaving Nan alone in the area once more. Angry tears filled her eyes. She grabbed her hated coat and ran out of the gate in a whirlwind of anger and frustration.
CHAPTER II
NAN'S VISITOR
She knew what was coming when the bell rang. She had been expecting it all the afternoon. But in spite of that her heart beat fast and her breath came hard as she heard the familiar sound. Not that she was afraid. She had nothing to be afraid of, she assured herself defiantly, and besides, fear was one of the things she despised. Whatever else she was, she was certainly not a coward. Still she sat in her room and waited in a state of mind that was not precisely what one would call tranquil.
She knew what was about to happen when the bell rang. She had been anticipating it all afternoon. But even so, her heart raced and her breath quickened as she heard the familiar sound. Not that she was scared. She had nothing to be scared of, she told herself defiantly, and besides, fear was something she hated. Whatever else she was, she was definitely not a coward. Still, she sat in her room and waited, feeling anything but calm.
She heard Delia mount the basement stairs and then she heard her ask the new-comer into the parlor. A moment later there was a tap upon Nan's bedroom door.
She heard Delia climb the basement stairs and then she heard her invite the newcomer into the parlor. A moment later, there was a knock on Nan's bedroom door.
"Come in," she said carelessly, and pretended to be searching for some article lost in the confusion of her upper drawer.
"Come in," she said casually, pretending to look for something lost in the messy drawer.
"You're wanted in the parlor, Nan," began Delia at once. "It's a lady who says she lives on the block and she wouldn't give her name, but I think she's the one moved into Leffingwell's old house last spring—has that little girl with the long curls, you know the one I mean. Shall I help you put on another dress and braid your hair over? It's fearful mussy-lookin'. Or will I just go and say you'll be down in a minute while you do it yourself?"
"You're needed in the living room, Nan," Delia said immediately. "It's a lady who says she lives on the block and wouldn’t give her name, but I think she’s the one who moved into Leffingwell's old house last spring—she has that little girl with the long curls, you know the one I mean. Should I help you change into another dress and braid your hair? It looks really messy. Or should I just go tell her you'll be down in a minute while you get ready?"
Nan cast a glance at her torn dress and towzled head in the mirror. "No, Delia, I'll go as I am, and if the lady doesn't like it she can—oh, well, I'll go down as I am."
Nan looked at her torn dress and messy hair in the mirror. "No, Delia, I'll go as I am, and if the lady doesn't like it she can—oh, well, I'll go downstairs just like this."
Delia pressed her lips together, as though trying to hold back the words of advice on the tip of her tongue. She knew it was worse than useless to try to argue with the girl. She had not lived in the house since Nan was born without learning better than to try to reason with her when she had once declared her mind. She stood beside the door, and allowed Nan to pass through it before her, without saying a word. Then she followed her quietly down stairs. At the parlor door Nan paused a moment, and Delia, who thought she was about to speak, paused too, but the girl only turned sharply into the room, pulling the door shut behind her. Once across the threshold she halted and stood irresolute. Whatever the result of this meeting might prove, depended not so much on Nan as on her visitor.
Delia pressed her lips together, as if trying to hold back the words of advice on the tip of her tongue. She knew it was pointless to argue with the girl. After living in the house since Nan was born, she had learned it was better not to reason with her once she had made up her mind. She stood by the door and let Nan walk through it ahead of her without saying a word. Then, she quietly followed her downstairs. At the parlor door, Nan paused for a moment, and Delia, thinking she was about to speak, paused too, but the girl just turned sharply into the room, shutting the door behind her. Once across the threshold, she stopped and stood uncertainly. Whatever the outcome of this meeting might be depended not so much on Nan but on her visitor.
Nan, though standing in awkward silence, as stiff and as straight as a soldier on parade, was ready to be influenced by whatever course her caller chose to pursue; a kind word spoken at the start would melt her at once, where a harsh one would raise in her every sort of sullen hostility and obstinate resistance. She was, as Delia often said to herself, "as hard to manage as a kicking colt." Sometimes she was wonderfully docile, but her moods were variable, and oftenest she was headstrong and wilful, with a fierce repugnance to curb, or what she considered unwarrantable interference.
Nan stood in awkward silence, as stiff and straight as a soldier on parade, ready to respond to whatever direction her visitor chose to take. A kind word at the beginning would instantly warm her up, while a harsh one would provoke all kinds of sulky hostility and stubborn resistance. As Delia often thought to herself, she was "as hard to manage as a kicking colt." Sometimes she was incredibly compliant, but her moods were unpredictable, and more often than not, she was headstrong and willful, fiercely opposed to restrictions or what she saw as unjust interference.
But it would have been difficult to convince the stranger at that moment that Nan could ever be won, or, in fact, that she had any tenderness to be appealed to. There she stood, looking as erect and impassive as a young Indian. Her brown hair was in a state of thorough disorder, and gave a sort of savage look to her sun-browned face. Her gray eyes were anything but soft at this moment; her mouth was set, and her whole attitude seemed to be one of imperturbable indifference. In reality, the girl was apprehensive and embarrassed. She set her lips to keep them from trembling. Her first impulse would have been to make a clean breast of everything, frankly and truthfully, but—something in her nature held her back. Was it obstinacy, or was it reticence?
But it would have been hard to convince the stranger at that moment that Nan could ever be won over, or that she had any softness to appeal to. There she stood, looking as upright and emotionless as a young Indian. Her brown hair was in complete disarray, giving her sun-tanned face a wild look. Her gray eyes were far from soft at that moment; her mouth was set, and her whole demeanor seemed to radiate indifference. In reality, the girl was anxious and uncomfortable. She pressed her lips together to keep them from trembling. Her first instinct was to confess everything openly and honestly, but—something in her nature held her back. Was it stubbornness, or was it restraint?
Her visitor did not wait to discover. She decided the result of the interview in the first words she spoke.
Her visitor didn’t wait to find out. She made up her mind about the outcome of the interview in her very first words.
"Is your name Nan Cutler?" she asked in a voice of stern authority.
"Is your name Nan Cutler?" she asked in a commanding tone.
"Yes, it is!" acknowledged the girl, instantly on the defensive.
"Yes, it is!" the girl admitted, immediately getting defensive.
"Then it is you who are accountable for the accident to Ruth Newton? You urged her to go with you, and when she fell—oh, you are a coward! It was detestable!"
"Then you’re the one responsible for the accident with Ruth Newton? You convinced her to come with you, and when she fell—oh, you're such a coward! It was disgusting!"
Nan made no reply, but stood the picture of inflexibility, facing her accuser squarely.
Nan didn't respond, but stood there resolutely, facing her accuser directly.
"I have come to see you, not because you can undo the mischief you have done to my child, and not because I think I can affect you in the least, or make you sorry or ashamed, but simply to tell you that I intend to see that you are punished, as you deserve. I have put up with annoyance you caused me long enough. Your influence is bad. All the neighbors complain of you. You are noisy and careless, and rough and rude. When any one reprimands you, you give a pert retort, or else pretend not to hear—which is impudent. Unless we wish our children to be utterly ruined we must see that they are put beyond your influence at once. You do things that are absolutely vulgar and unbefitting a girl of your age; you must be fourteen, at least, you look older, you are certainly old enough to know better. You are not a proper playmate for our children. You are boisterous and unladylike. You—you—are a perfect hoyden!"
"I've come to see you, not because you can fix the trouble you caused my child, and not because I think I can make you feel sorry or ashamed, but simply to let you know that I plan to ensure you are punished as you deserve. I've put up with the annoyance you’ve caused me for too long. Your influence is negative. All the neighbors complain about you. You're loud and careless, rough and rude. When someone reprimands you, you either snap back or pretend you didn’t hear—which is disrespectful. Unless we want our children to be completely ruined, we need to make sure they're kept away from you right away. You do things that are completely inappropriate for a girl your age; you must be at least fourteen, you look older, and you're definitely old enough to know better. You're not a suitable friend for our children. You're rowdy and unladylike. You—you—are a total tomboy!"
The stranger paused for breath, while Nan surveyed her with a look of calm indifference; an air of unconcern in anything she might say or think that seemed as insolent as it was exasperating.
The stranger stopped to catch her breath, while Nan looked at her with a calm indifference; an air of not caring about anything she might say or think that felt as rude as it was frustrating.
"You are a perfect hoyden!" repeated the stern voice in rising anger. "Whatever you do is done in such a loud, violent fashion that it becomes perfectly unbearable. You play ball with boys. You climb fences and trees. You are continually flying up and down the street on your detestable roller-skates and shouting until the neighborhood seems like Bedlam, and you don't appear to have the vaguest idea that people's rights need not be infringed on in such a manner; that they have the right to peace and quiet in their own homes. Even if you would content yourself with your own disorderliness! But you are not satisfied with doing what you know must annoy others; you seem to take a malicious delight in bringing the little children under your influence and making them long to follow your example. You cannot have the first shadow of generosity or bravery in your nature, or you would not urge them to do what you know their parents would disapprove of. You teach them to disobey. My daughter never told an untruth in her life until the other day. I have no reason to doubt that you taught her to tell that untruth!"
"You are such a wild child!" the stern voice echoed with growing anger. "Everything you do is so loud and chaotic that it's completely unbearable. You play ball with boys. You climb fences and trees. You're always zooming up and down the street on your annoying roller-skates and shouting, making the neighborhood feel like a madhouse, and you seem totally unaware that people deserve to have their space; they have the right to peace and quiet in their own homes. Even if you were okay with being messy yourself! But you aren’t satisfied with just being a nuisance; you seem to take pleasure in influencing the little kids and making them want to do what you do. You can’t have an ounce of generosity or bravery in you, or you wouldn’t push them to do things you know their parents wouldn’t like. You’re teaching them to disobey. My daughter has never lied in her life until recently. I have no doubt you’re the one who got her to tell that lie!"
Nan's cheeks suddenly became white, but she did not open her lips.
Nan's cheeks turned pale, but she stayed silent.
"If you cannot be restrained by your own people at home you shall be by some other means. They say your own people are respectable; how can you disgrace them so?"
"If you can’t control yourself with the people at home, someone else will have to do it. They say your people are honorable; how can you bring shame to them like this?"
Nan deigned no reply, but her lip curled contemptuously.
Nan didn't bother to reply, but her lip curled in contempt.
"They say your mother is dead."
"They say your mom is dead."
Again no answer.
Still no response.
"Where is your father?"
"Where's your dad?"
"My father is in India. He is in Bombay," announced Nan, deliberately.
"My dad is in India. He's in Bombay," Nan announced deliberately.
"Who has control of you in his absence?"
"Who has control over you when he's not around?"
"No one!" declared the girl with decision.
"No one!" the girl declared firmly.
Mrs. Newton surveyed the lank, overgrown, girlish figure with unconcealed scorn.
Mrs. Newton looked at the thin, unkempt, feminine figure with obvious disdain.
"Do you know," she said with bitter distinctness, "that you are the most shameless, unfeeling girl I have ever beheld? Any one else would show some remorse for what she had done, but you—young as you are, you are the hardest creature I have ever known. Hard, cruel, and cold. How can you stand there and look me in the face when you know how you have injured me? Tell me, does it not touch you at all that Ruth is hurt? Do you know or care that such a fall as she has had is enough to cripple a child for life? Many children have been hopelessly crippled through far less."
"Do you know," she said with sharp bitterness, "that you're the most shameless, unfeeling girl I've ever seen? Anyone else would feel some guilt for what they've done, but you—young as you are—are the hardest person I've ever met. Hard, cruel, and cold. How can you stand there and look me in the eye when you know how you've hurt me? Tell me, doesn’t it affect you at all that Ruth is in pain? Do you know or care that a fall like hers can cripple a child for life? Many kids have been permanently disabled from far less."
The mother's voice broke, and she set her lips to keep down a sob.
The mother's voice cracked, and she pressed her lips together to hold back a sob.
"How much is she hurt?" whispered Nan after a moment. She was trembling all over and cold and hot by turns, and she could not command her voice. It was almost more than she could do to keep from bursting into a violent fit of sobbing from her sense of injury and shame and indignation. But she simply would not permit herself to break down. No one should be allowed to think they intimidated her. But she could not hide her anxiety about Ruth.
"How badly is she hurt?" Nan whispered after a moment. She was shaking all over, feeling both cold and hot at the same time, and she couldn't control her voice. It was almost more than she could handle to keep from breaking down into a fit of sobbing from her feelings of hurt, shame, and anger. But she refused to let herself fall apart. No one should think they could intimidate her. But she couldn't hide her worry about Ruth.
"Is she much hurt?" she repeated.
"Is she seriously hurt?" she repeated.
There was a shade of softening in her visitor's face. "We can't tell yet. She has had a severe fall, and the chill coming after it may have very serious consequences, but we can tell nothing yet. However, I did not come here to inform you of her condition," the voice growing stern and the face severe again. "I came to tell you that if Ruth is injured I will hold you responsible. And not only that, but I warn you that I mean to take matters into my own hands now and see that you are permitted to do no further mischief. You shall be controlled. Who has charge of your father's affairs? Who has any sort of authority over you in his absence? He must have left you in somebody's care. He can't have gone away leaving you with no one to look after you. Who is your guardian? Tell me? If you don't I shall find out for myself, you may depend."
There was a hint of compassion on her visitor's face. "We can't say for sure yet. She’s had a serious fall, and the cold that followed it might lead to serious problems, but we don’t know anything yet. However, I didn’t come here to update you on her condition," the voice became firm and the expression serious again. "I came to let you know that if Ruth is hurt, I will hold you accountable. And not just that, but I’m warning you that I plan to take control of the situation now to ensure you aren't able to cause any more trouble. You will be supervised. Who's in charge of your father's affairs? Who has any authority over you while he’s away? He must have left you in someone’s care. He can’t have left you without anyone to look after you. Who is your guardian? Tell me. If you don’t, I’ll find out on my own, just so you know."
"I'm perfectly willing to tell you," declared Nan, with what seemed to be complete coolness. "It's Mr. Turner. He gives Delia the money to get me things and to keep the house. He comes here every once in a while to see me. My father has him for his lawyer. He's a friend of his. When Delia writes to him for money for me she sends the letter to 101 Blank Street. That's his office. I don't remember where his house is. Delia never writes to his house. He doesn't attend to me—that is, he isn't my guardian, but I guess he would do if you want to see some one."
"I'm totally okay with telling you," Nan said, sounding completely calm. "It's Mr. Turner. He gives Delia money to buy me things and to take care of the house. He comes by every now and then to see me. My dad uses him as his lawyer. He's a friend of his. When Delia writes to him for money for me, she sends the letter to 101 Blank Street. That's his office. I can't remember where his house is. Delia never writes to his house. He doesn't look after me—that is, he isn't my guardian, but I think he would if you want to meet someone."
Nan delivered herself of this information as casually as though it had been a report of the weather. As a matter of fact she was inwardly quivering, and every moment found it more and more difficult to control herself. Never in all her life before had she been so relentlessly, harshly accused. In trying to conceal her emotion she only gave herself the appearance of rigid inflexibility.
Nan shared this information as casually as if she were just talking about the weather. In reality, she was secretly trembling, and with each passing moment, it became harder for her to keep it together. Never before had she faced such a relentless, harsh accusation. In her attempt to hide her feelings, she only ended up seeming more rigid and unyielding.
Her visitor regarded her stonily for a moment and then abruptly brushed past her toward the door. Nan made no attempt to intercept her, but suddenly the hard lines about her mouth relaxed, her eyes softened, and she held out her hands with an imploring gesture.
Her visitor stared at her without expression for a moment and then suddenly pushed past her toward the door. Nan didn’t try to stop her, but all at once the tension in her face eased, her eyes softened, and she extended her hands in a pleading gesture.
"Won't you please tell me where Ruth is hurt?" she cried. "Won't you let me do something for her? Let me—please let me! If you'll only listen a minute I'll tell you—"
"Can you please tell me where Ruth is hurt?" she exclaimed. "Can you let me do something for her? Please let me! If you’ll just listen for a minute, I’ll explain—"
But it was too late now. She was given no reply; permitted no chance to vindicate herself. Her visitor's hard lips quivered, but she uttered no syllable. In a moment she was gone.
But it was too late now. She received no response; had no opportunity to clear her name. Her visitor's tight lips trembled, but she said nothing. In an instant, she was gone.
After the door had closed upon her and it was quite certain that she would not come back, Nan turned and rushed headlong, like a young savage, upstairs and into her own room. What took place there it would have been impossible to discover, for the shades were jerked fiercely down, the door sharply shut and locked, and Delia, coming up some time later, could not make out a sound within nor get a reply to her requests to be admitted, though she stood outside and pleaded for an hour.
After the door closed behind her and it was clear she wasn’t coming back, Nan turned and dashed upstairs like a wild child and went into her room. What happened in there was impossible to find out because the curtains were pulled down hard, the door was slammed shut and locked, and when Delia came up a while later, she couldn’t hear anything inside or get a response to her requests to be let in, even though she stood outside and begged for an hour.
At twilight the door was opened and Nan came out quite composed, but bearing on her face the unmistakable traces of tears which, however, Delia was wise enough to let pass unremarked.
At twilight, the door opened and Nan stepped out looking calm, but there were clear signs of tears on her face, which Delia wisely chose not to mention.
"Time for dinner?" asked the girl, curtly.
"Is it time for dinner?" the girl asked sharply.
"No, not yet. It ain't but just six," replied the woman. "Are you hungry? I'll get you something if you are."
"No, not yet. It’s only six," the woman replied. "Are you hungry? I'll get you something if you are."
"No, I'm not hungry. But I feel kind of queer, somehow. There's an empty feeling I have that makes me uncomfortable. But I'm not hungry. O Delia!" she burst out, vehemently, "I wish—I wish—I had my mother. A girl needs—her mother—sometimes—"
"No, I'm not hungry. But I feel kind of weird, you know? There's this empty feeling that's making me uncomfortable. But I'm not hungry. O Delia!" she exclaimed, passionately, "I wish—I wish—I had my mom. A girl needs—her mom—sometimes—"
"Always," declared Delia, with conviction.
"Always," Delia declared confidently.
For a little time there was silence between them. Then Nan said, "Look here, Delia—I want to tell you something. I feel just horribly. I never felt so unhappy in all my life. That lady who was here this afternoon is Ruth Newton's mother. She came to see me because this morning Ruth fell from the tree in Reid's lot and hurt herself, and Mrs. Newton thinks I made her do it. I didn't. Honestly, I didn't. I had climbed the tree myself, and it was fun and I liked it. Ruth would come. I tried to make her stay away, but she wouldn't, and when she teased to climb the tree too, I told her not to. She's so little and young, and her mother doesn't think it's ladylike, and I said if she wouldn't come with me in the first place I'd give her five cents. But she would tag on, and later she tried to climb the tree in spite of everything. She put a board up against the trunk and got on it and then scrambled up a little way, but she didn't get far, for the board slipped, or something, and down she went—smash! I guess she must have hit herself on the edge or somewhere, for when I dropped down she was lying on the ground, and she had her eyes closed and wouldn't speak. Then I didn't know what to do. I wanted to lift her, but it was awful work. There was no one in sight. At last I managed to tug her to the fence, but, of course, I hadn't the strength to get her over that alone. I couldn't leave her and run for help, and for a long time I did nothing but scream, in the hope that some one would come along and hear. And by and by I heard wheels. It was a milk cart, and I got the man to help me get her home. I went right to the Newton's as fast as I could, but when Bridget opened the door and saw who it was she was simply furious. They wouldn't let me in, and Mrs. Newton sent down word she wouldn't see me, but she'd attend to me later, and this afternoon when she called she just called me names and things, and I couldn't explain to her, I felt so choked. She talked to me so, I couldn't say a word. You don't know. When people say such things to me something gets in my throat, and I feel like strangling and doing all sorts of things. I seem to shut right up when they go at me like that. I can't speak. I just feel like—well, you don't know what I feel like. Mrs. Newton asked me where father is, and I told her, and then she asked about Mr. Turner, for she wants to have things done to me, and I told her about him. I wouldn't have her think I wanted to get out of it. She called me names and she thinks I taught Ruth to tell untruths; she said so. She says if Ruth doesn't get well it will be my fault. O Delia! I didn't do it. Honestly I wasn't to blame. But if Ruth is going to be sick and they think I did it—I want my mother! How can I bear it without my mother?"
For a little while, there was silence between them. Then Nan said, "Listen, Delia—I need to tell you something. I feel terrible. I've never been so unhappy in my life. That lady who was here this afternoon is Ruth Newton's mother. She came to see me because this morning, Ruth fell from the tree in Reid's lot and hurt herself, and Mrs. Newton thinks I made her do it. I didn’t. Honestly, I didn’t. I had climbed the tree myself, and it was fun and I liked it. Ruth wanted to come. I tried to get her to stay away, but she wouldn’t, and when she insisted on climbing the tree too, I told her not to. She's so small and young, and her mother doesn’t think it’s ladylike, and I said if she wouldn’t come with me in the first place, I’d give her five cents. But she tagged along, and later, she tried to climb the tree anyway. She leaned a board against the trunk and got on it, then scrambled up a little way, but she didn’t get far—the board slipped or something, and down she went—smash! I guess she must have hit herself on the edge or somewhere, because when I dropped down, she was lying on the ground, her eyes closed and she wouldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to lift her, but it was really hard. There was no one around. Eventually, I managed to drag her to the fence, but, of course, I didn’t have the strength to get her over it alone. I couldn’t leave her and run for help, so for a long time, I just screamed, hoping someone would come along and hear me. After a while, I heard wheels. It was a milk cart, and I got the man to help me take her home. I went straight to the Newton's as fast as I could, but when Bridget opened the door and saw who it was, she was just furious. They wouldn’t let me in, and Mrs. Newton sent down word that she didn’t want to see me, but she’d deal with me later. This afternoon when she called, she just called me names and things, and I couldn’t explain to her; I felt so choked up. She talked to me like that, I couldn’t say a word. You don’t understand. When people say those things to me, something gets stuck in my throat, and I feel like I want to choke and do all sorts of things. I feel like I shut right down when they come at me like that. I can’t speak. I just feel like—well, you don’t know what I feel like. Mrs. Newton asked me where my father is, and I told her, and then she asked about Mr. Turner, because she wants to have things done to me, and I told her about him. I wouldn’t want her to think I wanted to get out of it. She called me names and thinks I taught Ruth to tell lies; she said so. She says if Ruth doesn’t get better, it’ll be my fault. Oh Delia! I didn’t do it. Honestly, I wasn’t to blame. But if Ruth is going to be sick and they think I did it—I want my mother! How can I handle this without my mother?"
Delia gently patted the dark head that had flung itself into her lap. Her heart ached for the girl, but her simple mind was not equal to the task of consolation in a case like this. She could not cope with its difficulties. She knew Nan was to blame for much, but she thought in her heart that Mrs. Newton had no right to vent her wrath upon the girl without first having heard her side of the story. She could not console Nan, she thought, without seeming to convict Mrs. Newton, and if she "stood up for" Mrs. Newton, Nan would think her lacking in sympathy for herself. But in the midst of her wondering, up bobbed the head from under her hand.
Delia gently stroked the girl's dark hair as she rested her head in her lap. Her heart went out to the girl, but she found it hard to know how to comfort her in a situation like this. The challenges felt too great for her to handle. She realized that Nan was at fault for a lot, but deep down, she believed that Mrs. Newton shouldn't take her anger out on the girl without hearing her side of the story first. She thought she couldn't console Nan without making it look like she was blaming Mrs. Newton, and if she defended Mrs. Newton, Nan would think she didn't care about her feelings. Just as she wrestled with these thoughts, the girl's head popped up from under her hand.
"Mrs. Newton says I teach the children to do wrong. She says I'm a hoyden. She says I left Ruth in the cold and that I was a coward. She didn't give me time to tell her about how I tried to get Ruth home myself, and that when I couldn't, how I just howled for help. At least she didn't want to listen when I got so I could speak. She says everybody thinks I'm bad, and they want to have me attended to. She thinks I taught Ruth to tell lies. Think, Delia, lies! When she said that it was like knives! O Delia? I know you've been awfully good to me always, and taken care of me since mamma died and all, but if it is so dreadful to play ball and skate and do things like that, why did you let me in the first place? I hate to sew and do worsted work and be prim, but perhaps, if you had brought me up that way I might have got so I could stand it. Don't you think if you had begun when I was a baby I might have? I don't want to have people hate me—honestly, I don't. When they talk to me, and say I'm rowdyish because I walk fences and play ball with the boys and climb trees, I try not to show it, but it hurts me way deep down. I try to say something back so they'll think I don't care, and sometimes, if it hurts too much, I pretend not to hear, and that makes them madder than ever. They don't know how, when it's like that, I can't speak. Perhaps if you'd brought me up so, I might have liked dolls and thought it was fun to sit still and sew on baby clothes. But I don't like to, and I can't help it. Mrs. Newton thinks because I whistle and make a noise that I'm just mean and hateful and everything else. She thinks I don't care. Why, Delia! if anything happened to Ruth I'd feel exactly as if I didn't want to live another day. I—I—O Delia!"
"Mrs. Newton says I’m teaching the kids to do wrong. She calls me a tomboy. She says I left Ruth out in the cold and that I’m a coward. She didn’t give me a chance to explain how I tried to get Ruth home myself, and when I couldn’t, how I just yelled for help. At least she didn’t want to listen when I finally could speak. She says everyone thinks I’m bad and that they want to do something about me. She believes I taught Ruth to lie. Can you believe it, Delia, lies! When she said that, it felt like a stab! Oh, Delia? I know you’ve always been really good to me and have looked after me since mom died, but if it's so awful to play ball and skate and do things like that, why did you let me do it in the first place? I hate sewing and doing crafts and trying to be proper, but maybe if you had raised me that way, I would have gotten used to it. Don’t you think that if you had started when I was a baby, I might have? I don’t want people to hate me—really, I don’t. When they talk to me and say I’m rowdy because I walk on fences, play ball with the boys, and climb trees, I try not to show it, but it hurts deep down. I try to say something back so they'll think I don’t care, and sometimes, if it hurts too much, I pretend I don’t hear them, which just makes them angrier. They don’t understand that when it gets like that, I can’t respond. Maybe if you’d raised me differently, I would have liked dolls and thought sitting still to sew baby clothes was fun. But I don’t like it, and I can’t help that. Mrs. Newton thinks that because I whistle and make noise, I’m just mean and nasty and all that. She thinks I don’t care. Why, Delia! If anything happened to Ruth, I’d feel like I couldn’t go on living. I—I—Oh Delia!"
For the first time she gave way, and, hiding her head in her arms, sobbed heavily.
For the first time, she broke down and, burying her head in her arms, cried uncontrollably.
By this time Delia had risen to a point of burning anger against her child's detractor. Her heart beat loyally for Nan, and she could scarcely restrain the words of resentment that rose to her lips, and that it would have been such unwisdom to have uttered.
By this point, Delia was filled with intense anger towards her child's critic. Her heart was firmly on Nan's side, and she could hardly hold back the bitter words that were ready to spill out, even though it would have been unwise to say them.
"Never mind, Nannie lamb!" she said. "It'll be all right in the morning. The child will be all well in the morning. You'll see she ain't so bad as they think. And to-morrow I'll go and tell them all about it. And perhaps they'll see then it's better to be slow accusin' where the guilt ain't proved. Come, come! Don't cry so! Why, Nannie, child, you haven't cried like this since you were—I can't tell how little. You never cry, Nan. You're always so brave, and never give way. You'll have a headache if you don't stop. Dry your tears, and to-morrow it'll be all right."
"Don't worry, Nannie lamb!" she said. "Everything will be fine in the morning. The child will be okay by then. You'll see she isn't as bad as they think. Tomorrow, I’ll go and tell them all about it. Maybe then they'll realize it's better to be careful before making accusations when the guilt isn't proven. Come on! Stop crying so much! Nannie, you haven’t cried like this since you were—I can't remember how young. You never cry, Nan. You're always so strong and never break down. You'll give yourself a headache if you keep this up. Wipe your tears, and tomorrow everything will be fine."
So, little by little, she soothed the girl, and by and by Nan ate her dinner, and then, when it was later, she went to bed. But when everything was hushed and still a dark figure crept noiselessly down stairs and on into the outer darkness. Down the street it stole until it had reached a house, which, alone in all the row of darkened barrack-like dwellings, showed a dimly lit window to the night. There it halted. And there it stood, like a faithful sentinel, only deserting its post when the gray light of early morning rose slowly over the world and the city was astir once more.
So, little by little, she calmed the girl, and eventually Nan ate her dinner, and then, when it was later, she went to bed. But when everything was quiet and still, a dark figure crept silently downstairs and out into the night. It slipped down the street until it reached a house, which, standing alone among all the dark, barrack-like buildings, had a dimly lit window glowing in the night. There it stopped. And there it stood, like a loyal guard, only leaving its post when the gray light of early morning slowly rose over the world and the city began to awaken again.
CHAPTER III
MR. TURNER'S PLAN
"I am deeply sorry," said Mr. Turner, "and can only apologize in my friend's name for any annoyance his daughter may have caused you. Of course I cannot agree with you that she annoys you purposely. A child of William Cutler could not well be other than large-hearted and generous. She may be a little undisciplined perhaps, but it shall be attended to, Madam! I assure you the matter shall be attended to."
"I'm really sorry," Mr. Turner said, "and I can only apologize on behalf of my friend for any trouble his daughter may have caused you. Of course, I can't agree that she's annoying you on purpose. A child of William Cutler couldn’t help but be kind-hearted and generous. She might be a bit unruly, but we'll take care of it, Madam! I promise you, we'll address the issue."
Mrs. Newton rose. She had called upon Mr. Turner to state her complaint against Nan Cutler. Now that was accomplished she would go; only she made a mental vow that if the lawyer were not as good as his word, if he did not take immediate steps toward rectifying the matter, she would follow it up herself and see that she was relieved of what, in her anger, she called "that common nuisance."
Mrs. Newton got up. She had gone to see Mr. Turner to express her complaint about Nan Cutler. Now that she had done that, she was ready to leave; however, she promised herself that if the lawyer didn’t keep his word and didn’t take action to fix the issue right away, she would take matters into her own hands and make sure she was rid of what, in her anger, she described as "that common nuisance."
Meantime Nan herself was going about with a dead load of misery on her heart. Delia had gone to the Newton's house early in the morning to inquire after the sick child's condition and to repeat Nan's story to her mother, but that lady was "not at home," and Delia understood that to mean that Mrs. Newton declined to receive either her or her explanation. She went home angry and disappointed.
Meantime, Nan was dealing with a heavy burden of sadness. Delia had gone to the Newton's house early in the morning to ask about the sick child's condition and to share Nan's story with her mother, but that woman was "not at home," which Delia took to mean that Mrs. Newton didn’t want to see either her or hear her explanation. She went home feeling angry and disappointed.
"I guess the little girl ain't much hurt," she announced to Nan. "She's in bed to be sure, but I guess that's more on account of her cold than anything else. She isn't going to be crippled, Nan, now don't you fret. She'll be all right. Now you see if she ain't."
"I think the little girl isn't too hurt," she told Nan. "She's in bed for sure, but I think that's mostly because of her cold rather than anything else. She’s not going to be crippled, Nan, so don't worry. She'll be fine. Just wait and see."
Nan's own flushed cheeks and brilliant eyes, the result of her yesterday's chilly adventures, worried the good woman not a little. If she had dared she would have liked to "coddle her child," but Nan was not one of the coddling kind, and would have scorned being made a baby of. She went about the house in one of her unhappy moods, restless and wretched and unable to amuse herself, and finding the hours never-endingly long.
Nan's flushed cheeks and bright eyes from her chilly adventures yesterday worried the good woman quite a bit. If she could, she would have liked to "baby her child," but Nan wasn't the type to be coddled and would have hated being treated that way. She wandered around the house in one of her unhappy moods, feeling restless, miserable, and unable to find anything to entertain herself, with the hours dragging on endlessly.
When the bell rang she welcomed the sound as a grateful diversion and ran to the balusters and hung over the railing to see who might be the new-comer. She was glad of any break in the monotony of such a miserable day.
When the bell rang, she welcomed the sound as a much-appreciated distraction and hurried to the balusters, leaning over the railing to see who the newcomer might be. She was happy for any change in the monotony of such a dreary day.
When Delia opened the door and admitted Mr. Turner, Nan's heart gave a big leap. Visions of what might be in store for her, the result of Mrs. Newton's action against her, thronged her brain and made her shudder with apprehension. What if Mr. Turner had come to say that she was to be sent to the House of Correction, or some horrid boarding-school where one don't get enough to eat and where one couldn't poke one's nose outside the door. A set expression settled on the girl's face that did not augur well for her reception of whatever plan the lawyer might have to propose.
When Delia opened the door and let Mr. Turner in, Nan's heart skipped a beat. Thoughts of what could happen to her because of Mrs. Newton's actions flooded her mind, making her shudder with dread. What if Mr. Turner was there to tell her she was being sent to the House of Correction or some awful boarding school where there wasn't enough food and where she couldn't even step outside? A fixed expression settled on the girl's face that didn't bode well for how she would react to whatever plan the lawyer might suggest.
When Delia came to call her, she sighed. She saw plainly enough that Nan's "contrary fit" was on, and she wondered how much the lawyer would accomplish by his visit under the circumstances.
When Delia came to get her, she sighed. She could clearly see that Nan was in one of her "contrary moods," and she wondered how much the lawyer would achieve with his visit given the situation.
Nan went down to him sullenly determined to stand by her guns and absolutely refuse to be committed to either a reformatory or any other establishment of a similar character.
Nan went down to him, stubbornly intent on sticking to her principles and completely refusing to be sent to either a reform school or any other place like it.
"How do you do, my dear?" was Mr. Turner's kindly greeting as the girl entered the room.
"How's it going, my dear?" was Mr. Turner's friendly greeting as the girl walked into the room.
Nan replied, "Very well, sir," thinking, at the same time, that she would not be disarmed by kindness nor permit herself to be cajoled into doing anything she did not wish to do. No one really had the right to order her about, and she would resolutely oppose any one who assumed such a right.
Nan replied, "Sure thing, sir," while also thinking that she wouldn't let kindness take away her resolve or be tricked into doing something she didn’t want to do. No one truly had the right to boss her around, and she would firmly stand against anyone who acted like they did.
But presently she found herself telling her father's friend the story of yesterday's disaster, quite simply and with entire willingness.
But soon she found herself sharing the story of yesterday's disaster with her father's friend, quite simply and without hesitation.
"So," Mr. Turner said at the conclusion, "I thought that the good lady must have made a mistake. I felt pretty sure your father's daughter would never be guilty of cowardice nor of deliberately planning to destroy the peace of any one. I knew you could not be the girl Mrs. Newton described. She seemed to think you were—why, my dear, she gave me to understand that you were quite wild and lawless; that you were a bad influence in the neighborhood, and that you were so with full consciousness of what you were doing. We must explain to Mrs. Newton! We must explain!"
"So," Mr. Turner said at the end, "I figured the good lady must have made a mistake. I was fairly certain your father's daughter would never be guilty of cowardice or intentionally trying to ruin anyone's peace. I knew you couldn’t be the girl Mrs. Newton described. She seemed to think you were—my dear, she led me to believe that you were quite wild and unruly; that you were a bad influence in the neighborhood, and that you were fully aware of what you were doing. We need to set Mrs. Newton straight! We really need to explain!"
"I don't lie!" declared Nan. "And I'm not a coward, and I don't try to make her mad or hurt her children, but I do climb trees and I do race and do figures on roller-skates, and I do do the rest of the things she says I do and that she doesn't like."
"I don't lie!" Nan declared. "I'm not a coward, and I don't try to make her angry or hurt her kids, but I do climb trees, race, and do tricks on roller skates, and I do all the other things she says I do that she doesn't like."
"And your school?" ventured the lawyer.
"And how's your school?" asked the lawyer.
"I don't go any more," announced Nan. "I had a fight with one of the teachers, and so I left."
"I’m not going anymore," Nan said. "I got into a fight with one of the teachers, so I quit."
Mr. Turner gazed suddenly upon the floor.
Mr. Turner suddenly looked down at the floor.
"And this 'fight' with the teacher? Do you remember the cause of the disturbance?" he asked, looking up after a moment.
"And this 'fight' with the teacher? Do you remember what triggered the disturbance?" he asked, looking up after a moment.
"She struck me with her ruler. I had a rubber baby doll, it was the weeniest thing you ever saw, and she wore false puffs, Miss Fowler did, and one day, when I was at the blackboard and she was looking the other way, I just dropped the baby doll into one of the puffs that the hair-pin had come out of, and that was standing up on end, and it looked so funny on her head, the puff with the baby doll standing in it, that all the girls laughed, and then she asked me what I had done, and I told her, and she struck me. I wouldn't have said anything if she had just punished me. I knew it was wrong to pop that doll on her head, but I just couldn't help it—it looked too funny. But when she struck me! Well, I won't be struck by any one—and so I left."
"She hit me with her ruler. I had this little rubber baby doll, it was the tiniest thing you ever saw, and Miss Fowler wore those fake hair puffs. One day, while I was at the blackboard and she wasn't paying attention, I just dropped the baby doll into one of the puffs that the hairpin had fallen out of, and it was standing straight up. It looked so ridiculous on her head, the puff with the baby doll in it, that all the girls started laughing. Then she asked me what I had done, and I told her, and she hit me. I wouldn't have said anything if she had just punished me. I knew it was wrong to put that doll on her head, but I just couldn't help it—it looked too funny. But when she hit me! Well, I won't let anyone hit me—and so I left."
The lawyer meditated in silence for a moment. Then he said:
The lawyer paused for a moment in silence. Then he said:
"Well, my dear, I think I understand the condition of things here. Without doubt it is high time something were done. Your father, when he went away, gave me full authority to make such arrangements for you as I might feel were necessary, but until now I have rather avoided taking upon myself any responsibility. Possibly I have neglected my duty toward you. But now all that shall be changed. Don't you think if I were to send you—"
"Well, my dear, I think I understand the situation here. It's definitely time to take action. Your father, when he left, gave me full authority to make any arrangements for you that I thought were necessary, but until now I've been hesitant to take on any responsibility. Maybe I've neglected my duty to you. But that’s going to change now. Don’t you think if I were to send you—"
Nan's eyes blazed. So it was as she had felt sure it would be! She was to be sent away! She did not wait for the sentence to be finished.
Nan's eyes flashed with anger. So, it was exactly how she had suspected! She was going to be sent away! She didn't wait for the rest of the sentence to be completed.
"Send me to the House of Correction? I won't go, sir! I'll run away first! Or a horrid boarding-school, neither. I guess my father didn't mean me to be made unhappy, Mr. Turner; I guess he didn't mean any one to have authority to send me to awful places just because Mrs. Newton says so, away from Delia and things. You needn't send me anywhere, for I'll run away as sure as you do."
"Send me to the correctional facility? I won’t go, sir! I’ll escape first! And definitely not to some terrible boarding school. I bet my dad didn’t intend for me to be unhappy, Mr. Turner; I bet he didn’t mean for anyone to have the power to send me to awful places just because Mrs. Newton says so, away from Delia and everything. You don’t need to send me anywhere, because I’ll run away just as surely as you do."

"I'll run away first!"
"Slowly—slowly!" cautioned Mr. Turner. "You go too fast! If you had waited for me to finish my sentence you would have discovered that I meant to send you neither to the House of Correction," here his eyes twinkled with amusement, "nor to a 'horrid boarding-school.' What I was about to say was that I propose to send you a lady who will teach you here at home, who will be a friend and companion to you and whom you will be sure to love. It is rather a curious coincidence that just the other day I was talking to a lady who is anxious to procure just such a position as this with you, and I am rather inclined to think that she would be willing to come here and undertake it. At all events, I have written to her asking her to consider the plan and in a day or so I shall know her decision. If she concludes to come—if I can induce her to come—I shall feel that you are very fortunate. You will forgive me if I say that while I disagree with Mrs. Newton in most respects regarding you, I feel with her that you are somewhat—well, somewhat ungoverned and in need of just the sort of discipline that I am sure Miss—the lady I speak of can maintain."
"Slowly—slowly!" warned Mr. Turner. "You're going too fast! If you had waited for me to finish my sentence, you would have found out that I didn’t mean to send you to the House of Correction," his eyes sparkling with amusement, "or to a 'horrid boarding school.' What I was about to say is that I plan to send you a lady who will teach you here at home, who will be a friend and companion to you and whom you will surely love. It's quite a coincidence that just the other day I was speaking to a lady who is eager to take on a position like this with you, and I think she would be willing to come here and do it. In any case, I've written to her asking her to consider the idea, and in a day or so I’ll know her answer. If she agrees to come—if I can convince her to come—I’ll feel that you are very lucky. You’ll forgive me for saying that while I disagree with Mrs. Newton in many ways about you, I do agree with her that you’re somewhat—well, somewhat unruly and could use just the kind of discipline that I’m sure Miss—the lady I’m talking about—can provide."
He paused a moment, but when he saw that Nan made no comment or objection he continued placidly:
He paused for a moment, but when he noticed that Nan didn’t say anything or object, he continued calmly:
"You will hear from me in the course of a day or so, as soon as I receive word from the lady herself. As I said, you will be very fortunate if I can secure her services for you—more fortunate than she will be, I fear," he said to himself, catching a glimpse of Nan's set mouth and flashing eyes as he made his way to the door. Later, when he recalled her expression, he was almost inclined to hope that the lady would decide to refuse the office. He thought her acceptance of it might involve her in rather more serious difficulties than he had foreseen when he wrote to her in the first place.
"You'll hear from me in a day or so, as soon as I get a response from the lady herself. Like I said, you’ll be very lucky if I can arrange for her to help you—luckier than she might be, I’m afraid," he thought to himself, catching a glimpse of Nan’s tight-lipped expression and intense eyes as he headed for the door. Later, when he remembered her look, he almost started hoping that the lady would decide to decline the offer. He was concerned that her acceptance might lead her into more serious trouble than he had anticipated when he initially reached out to her.
As a matter of fact, Nan was in a rage at the thought of a stranger coming into the house to interfere with her and Delia, to teach her what she did not want to learn, and to govern her when her sole idea of happiness was to be free and untrammeled. Even Delia resented the new-comer's intrusion. Had she managed the house for fourteen years now, ever since Mrs. Cutler's death, only to be set aside and ruled over by the first stranger who chose to imagine her position of governess to Nan gave her the right to interfere in household affairs? For of course she would interfere. Nan had drawn a vivid mental picture of the governess, which through her persistence in repetition, had begun to seem an actual description to herself and Delia.
Nan was actually furious at the idea of a stranger coming into their home to meddle in her and Delia's lives, to teach her things she had no interest in learning, and to control her when all she wanted was to be free and unrestricted. Even Delia didn't appreciate the newcomer’s intrusion. Had she managed the house for fourteen years now, ever since Mrs. Cutler's death, just to be pushed aside and governed by the first stranger who thought that being Nan's governess gave her the right to interfere in household matters? Because she would definitely interfere. Nan had created a vivid mental image of the governess, which, through her constant repetition, had started to feel like a real description to both her and Delia.
"She's tall and thin and lanky and old!" declared the girl whenever the governess, who had accepted the appointment, was mentioned. "She has horrid sharp eyes that spy out everything, and she wears glasses. She'll never laugh because she'll say 'giggling is frivolous,' that's what Miss Fowler used to say, and she'll talk arithmetic and grammar and geography the whole blessed time. She'll snoop in your closets, Delia, and into my bureau drawers, and she'll find out everything we don't want her to know. Her hair is black and shiny, and I guess she parts it in the middle and makes it come to the back of her head in a little hard knot. Oh! I know just how she looks! I can see her every time I shut my eyes—the horrid thing! Just like Miss Fowler at school! And how I'll hate her! I'll hate her just as much as I did Miss Fowler. I'll hate her more, because I can never get rid of her: she'll always be here. Don't you fix up her room a single bit, Delia. Make it look as awful as you can. Then perhaps she won't like it and'll leave. I guess after a little while she won't think it agrees with her to live here. Then we two'll be alone again, and I tell you, won't we be glad, Delia?"
"She's tall, thin, lanky, and old!" the girl said every time the governess, who had accepted the job, was mentioned. "She has these creepy, sharp eyes that notice everything, and she wears glasses. She'll never laugh because she'll say 'giggling is silly,' just like Miss Fowler used to say, and she'll talk about math, grammar, and geography the whole time. She'll snoop in your closets, Delia, and in my dresser drawers, and she'll discover everything we want to keep secret. Her hair is black and shiny, and I bet she parts it in the middle and styles it into a tight little bun at the back of her head. Oh! I can picture her every time I close my eyes—the awful thing! Just like Miss Fowler at school! And how I’m going to hate her! I’ll hate her even more because I can never get rid of her: she'll always be here. Don't make her room nice at all, Delia. Make it look as terrible as you can. That way, maybe she won’t like it and will leave. I figure after a while, she’ll think living here doesn’t suit her. Then we’ll be alone again, and I promise you, won’t we be happy, Delia?"
In her heart Delia thought they would. She did not follow Nan's advice to make the governess' room look "as awful as she could." She swept and dusted it thoroughly, and set all the furniture in place, as she had been accustomed to do for the last fourteen years, and when she had finished the place was as uninviting as even Nan could have desired. In fact, there was nothing attractive in the whole house. The furniture was all good and substantial, but Delia had a way of ranging it against the walls in a manner that made it seem stiff and uncompromising. When a piece needed repairing, and with Nan about, many a piece needed repairing often, it was stowed out of sight in the trunk-room, or the cellar, and the carpets, which had been rich and fashionable in their day, were allowed to lie now long after they had become threadbare and faded. Delia kept the handsome paintings veiled in tarlatan winter and summer, and she never removed the slip-covers from the parlor sofas and chairs, whatever the season might be. Nan did not care, because she knew nothing different, and there was no loving, artful hand to make the best of the things and turn the house into a home.
In her heart, Delia believed they would. She didn’t take Nan's advice to make the governess's room look "as awful as possible." Instead, she cleaned it thoroughly, arranging the furniture just like she had for the past fourteen years, and when she was done, the room was as unwelcoming as even Nan could have wished. In fact, there was nothing appealing in the entire house. The furniture was solid and good quality, but Delia had a habit of pushing it against the walls in a way that made it look rigid and uninviting. When something needed fixing—and with Nan around, there was often something needing repair—it was hidden away in the trunk room or the basement, and the carpets, which had once been rich and stylish, were left down long after they had become worn and faded. Delia kept the beautiful paintings covered with tarlatan all year round, and she never took the slipcovers off the parlor sofas and chairs, no matter the season. Nan didn't mind because she didn’t know any other way, and there was no caring, creative touch to make the space feel like home.
Mrs. Newton had shivered as she entered the place; it seemed dark and cold and forbidding to her, and she felt the mother-want at every turn, but this had not made her any more lenient with Nan. Perhaps the governess would make no allowances either. Delia made up her mind that if things really came to the pass where Nan was being abused, she in person would "just step in and say her say, if it lost her her place." She often talked of things losing her her place when the fact was that she herself was the place: if it had not been for her the house must have been closed, and Nan sent to boarding-school. Mr. Cutler would never have trusted the care of his girl to a strange servant.
Mrs. Newton shivered as she walked in; it felt dark, cold, and unwelcoming to her, and she sensed the need for a mother at every turn, but that didn’t make her any softer with Nan. Maybe the governess wouldn’t be lenient either. Delia decided that if it ever came to the point where Nan was being mistreated, she would "step in and speak her mind, even if it cost her the job." She often mentioned things that could cost her her job when, in reality, she was the reason there was a household at all: if it weren't for her, the house would have been shut down, and Nan would have been sent away to boarding school. Mr. Cutler would never have trusted the care of his daughter to a stranger.
"Yes, Ma'am," Delia said to herself, as she pushed the governess' bed flat up against the wall. "Yes, Ma'am! if I see her going for to abuse Nan, I'll set to and give her a piece of my mind such as she ain't likely to have got in one while, I tell you that," and she gave the bureau a vicious tweak and pulled down the shade with a resentful jerk.
"Yes, Ma'am," Delia said to herself as she pushed the governess's bed flat against the wall. "Yes, Ma'am! If I see her trying to mistreat Nan, I'll stand up and give her a piece of my mind like she hasn't gotten in a while, I can tell you that," and she gave the bureau a sharp tug and yanked down the shade with an annoyed jerk.
When Nan saw the room she was disgusted.
When Nan saw the room, she felt repulsed.
"Why, Delia Connor! you haven't done a single thing I told you to," she cried out angrily.
"Why, Delia Connor! You haven't done a single thing I told you to do," she exclaimed angrily.
"I've swept and dusted it and that's all there was to do," retorted Delia.
"I've cleaned it and that's all that needed to be done," Delia shot back.
"It looks perfectly lovely," resumed Nan, stamping her foot. "Do you s'pose I want her to think we're glad to have her, and that we've prepared for her? Well, I guess not! If she once gets into as good a room as this she'll never go—she'll just hang on and on, and nothing in the world will make her budge."
"It looks really nice," Nan continued, stomping her foot. "Do you think I want her to think we’re happy to have her here and that we’ve gotten ready for her? Well, I don’t! If she gets into a room this nice, she’ll never leave—she’ll just stick around forever, and nothing will make her move."
"What do you want me to do?" asked Delia with irritation.
"What do you want me to do?" Delia asked irritably.
Nan looked at her scornfully for a moment. "Do? Why, what I told you to do! Make the room look awful—perfectly hideous. Make it so she can't help but see we don't want her here. Make it a hint—and a strong one too."
Nan looked at her with disdain for a moment. "Do? What I told you to do! Make the room look terrible—completely hideous. Make it so she can't miss that we don't want her here. Give her a hint—and make it a strong one too."
Delia folded her arms deliberately. "Well, whatever you want to act like, Nan," she said, "I can tell you I ain't going to do anything unladylike, so there!" and she stalked out of the room with dignity.
Delia crossed her arms intentionally. "Well, you can act however you want, Nan," she said, "but I’m not going to do anything inappropriate, so there!" and she walked out of the room with her head held high.
Nan surveyed the place in silence. What was to be done? If she removed all the furniture but the bed and the bureau and left the governess nothing to sit down on, it would only reflect discreditably upon the family's supply of household goods. If she carefully sifted back the dust Delia had just removed, it would merely prove that the people in this house were of a slovenly and careless habit, and that they were sadly in need of some one to oversee their work. Moreover, would a person as dull of feeling as this governess must be, appreciate the hint conveyed in so delicate and indirect a manner? No. She would be sure to lose the point. Nan felt it would never do to take any risk of her misunderstanding. Whatever she did must be unmistakable and absolutely direct.
Nan looked around the place in silence. What should she do? If she took out all the furniture except for the bed and the dresser, leaving the governess with nothing to sit on, it would only make the family's furniture look bad. If she carefully brushed away the dust Delia had just cleaned, it would just show that the people living here were messy and careless, and desperately needed someone to supervise their work. Plus, would someone as insensitive as this governess likely understand the subtle hint? No. She would definitely miss the point. Nan knew she couldn't take the risk of being misunderstood. Whatever action she took had to be clear and completely straightforward.
She racked her brain to discover just the right thing, but she was rewarded by no brilliant idea, and she felt crosser than ever by the time noon had arrived. But suddenly, at the luncheon table, she gave a wild leap from her chair and clapped her hands frantically, while Delia almost let a dish fall in her surprise at this sudden and unexpected demonstration.
She thought hard to come up with the perfect idea, but nothing genius came to her, and by noon, she felt more frustrated than ever. But then, at the lunch table, she jumped up from her chair and clapped her hands excitedly, causing Delia to almost drop a dish in surprise at this sudden and unexpected outburst.
"For the land's sake, what is it now?" she demanded, while Nan caught her around the waist and whirled her about the room, vegetable dish and all.
"For goodness' sake, what is it now?" she asked, as Nan grabbed her around the waist and spun her around the room, dish and all.
"I've got it! I've got it!" screamed the girl, convulsed with inward laughter. "I've got the best scheme in the world. Delia, you old duck! Oh, won't it settle her though! Won't it settle her?" But she would not reveal who was to be settled, nor how, though Delia pleaded earnestly to be enlightened and even offered to help her make caramels as a bribe.
"I've got it! I've got it!" the girl yelled, shaking with laughter. "I've got the best plan ever. Delia, you sweet thing! Oh, this is going to really teach her a lesson! Won't it teach her?" But she wouldn’t say who was going to be taught a lesson or how, even though Delia begged her to share and even offered to help make caramels as a bribe.
"No, thank you, Ma'am! I wouldn't have time to boil 'em. I'm going to be as busy as a beaver all the afternoon, so no matter what happens don't you disturb me," continued Nan, importantly.
"No, thank you, Ma'am! I won't have time to boil them. I'm going to be as busy as a beaver all afternoon, so no matter what happens, please don't disturb me," continued Nan, with significance.
Delia shrewdly suspected that the scheme afoot had something to do with the governess, but she did not dare suggest it.
Delia wisely suspected that the plan in motion was related to the governess, but she didn’t dare bring it up.
"Oh, well, what I don't know I can't cry over," she said to herself, "and when Nan's like this, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't stop her, so I might as well hold my tongue. But I'll say this much, I don't envy that governess her job, whoever she may be."
"Oh, well, there's no point in crying over what I don't know," she told herself, "and when Nan acts like this, no amount of help could change her mood, so I might as well keep my mouth shut. But I will say this: I don't envy that governess her job, whoever she is."
Meanwhile Nan had gone to her own room and shut and locked the door. Her next move was to take her night-dress from its hook and slip it over her head.
Meanwhile, Nan had gone to her room and shut and locked the door. Her next move was to take her nightgown from its hook and put it on.
"Now I'm going to rehearse," she announced to her reflection in the glass. "First I must get my eyes to seem kind of wide and starey. No! not this way. They must look like licorice-drops in milk. There! that's better! All expressionless, and that kind of thing. I s'pose I might shut 'em, some somnabulists do; but then I'd be sure to trip over the furniture and stub my toes, and give the whole business away. No, I must keep my eyes open; that's certain. Then I must glide when I walk. My step must be light and ghostly and noiseless. I must be sure to have it ghostly and noiseless. Now—eyes staring—one, two, three—step ghostly and noiseless—Oh, bother! What business had that footstool in my way? If I knock things over like that I'll wake the house, and Delia would know in a minute what I was up to. There! get into the corner, you old thing! Now again! Eyes staring—step ghostly—and noiseless—voice low and mournful, but I must manage to make her understand every word. Now once more—voice low and mournful—
"Now I'm going to practice," she told her reflection in the glass. "First, I need to make my eyes look wide and staring. No! Not like that. They should look like licorice drops in milk. There! That's better! All blank, and that kind of thing. I guess I could close them, like some sleepwalkers do; but then I'd definitely trip over the furniture and stub my toes, and blow the whole thing. No, I need to keep my eyes open; that's for sure. Then I have to glide when I walk. My steps need to be light and ghostly and silent. I have to make sure they’re ghostly and silent. Now—eyes wide—one, two, three—step ghostly and silent—Oh, great! What was that footstool doing in my way? If I keep knocking things over like that, I’ll wake everyone up, and Delia would figure out what I was up to immediately. There! Get into the corner, you old thing! Now again! Eyes wide—step ghostly—and silent—voice low and mournful, but I have to make sure she understands every word. Now once more—voice low and mournful—
"Alas! alas! why did she come?—why did she come? (No, I can't say that! It sounds too much like 'Why did he die! Why did he die?' But the alas is good! That sounds real creepy and weird.) Now then—Alas! alas! This is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my life! My dear, old home! To think that anybody who isn't wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear, old home! O father! father! come home from Bombay, and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out of the house! Make her go back where she came from! Her hated form haunts me in my sleep, and I dream all night of her as I see her in the daytime—tall—and thin—and lanky—with her hair all dragged into that ugly little knob behind at the back of her head! O father! father! her eyes are like needles! They prick me when she looks. Save me!—save me! My heart will break if some one doesn't come and rescue me from this terrible person. Take her away—take her away! Ah—I see her! I see her! Get away—get away! You awful creature! Don't you know you are causing an innocent girl to perish in her youth? Alas, she won't go! Then listen, reckless woman! and remember this warning—'the way of intruders is hard!'
"Why did she come?—why did she come? (No, I can't say that! It sounds too much like 'Why did he die! Why did he die?' But the 'alas' is good! That sounds really creepy and weird.) Anyway—Alas! Alas! This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me in my life! My dear, old home! To think that someone who isn’t wanted can just waltz in like this into my dear, old home! Oh father! Father! Come home from Bombay and save me from this awful woman. Kick her out of the house! Make her go back where she came from! Her dreaded presence haunts me in my sleep, and I dream all night about her as I see her in the day—tall—and thin—and lanky—with her hair all pulled into that ugly little bun at the back of her head! Oh father! Father! Her eyes are like needles! They prick me when she looks at me. Save me!—save me! My heart will break if someone doesn’t come and rescue me from this terrible person. Get her away—get her away! Ah—I see her! I see her! Get away—get away! You awful creature! Don’t you know you’re causing an innocent girl to suffer in her youth? Alas, she won’t leave! Then listen, reckless woman! and remember this warning—'the path of intruders is hard!'”
"There! that ends it off with a sort of threatening dreadfulness that ought to scare her stiff. After I've said that in a whisper to freeze her blood, I'll turn silently from her bedside and glide noiselessly from the room, wringing my hair and tearing my hands; no, I mean just the other way, and if that doesn't fix her, why—I'll have to go over it all again, of course, so I won't forget. Perhaps it would be a good idea to write it down and learn it off by heart."
"There! That wraps it up with a kind of menacing intensity that should leave her paralyzed with fear. After I whisper that to chill her to the bone, I'll quietly turn away from her bedside and slip out of the room without making a sound, pulling at my hair and clenching my fists; no, I mean the opposite, and if that doesn’t do the trick, well—I’ll just have to go over everything again, obviously, so I don’t forget. Maybe it would be smart to write it down and memorize it."
The idea in fact recommended itself so thoroughly to her that she followed her own suggestion without further delay and wrote off the entire harangue at once, making it, if possible, even more eloquent and harrowing than it had been in the original. It seemed a very long, wearisome task, to commit it all to memory, but she did not grudge the trouble. She had never attempted anything that looked like study with so much willingness. The afternoon slipped away like a dream, and as soon as dinner was over she set to work again, and by bed-time had the thing pretty well under control. Whenever she halted or stumbled she went over it all again with the most patient perseverance.
The idea appealed to her so much that she immediately acted on her own suggestion and wrote the entire speech at once, making it even more powerful and moving than the original. It felt like a long, exhausting task to memorize it all, but she didn't mind the effort. She had never approached anything resembling studying with such enthusiasm. The afternoon passed by like a dream, and as soon as dinner was finished, she got back to work and by bedtime had it mostly figured out. Whenever she paused or stumbled, she patiently reviewed it all again with determination.
"I suppose if I had stuck to things at school like this I'd have been at the head of the class," she said to herself with a whimsical sense of her own perversity.
"I guess if I had focused on things at school like this, I would have been at the top of the class," she said to herself with a playful awareness of her own stubbornness.
Delia was completely nonplused. She could not imagine what "that child was up to." There were no evidences anywhere of the means she was going to employ in the governess' initiation. Her room was in perfect order, and in Nan's own chamber nothing was unusually amiss. She got no satisfaction from the girl herself, who kept her lips tightly closed, except when she was mumbling over her harangue. It was terribly perplexing—and ominous.
Delia was totally confused. She couldn’t figure out what “that kid was up to.” There were no signs anywhere of what she was planning for the governess’s initiation. Her room was spotless, and in Nan's room, nothing seemed out of place. She didn’t get any answers from the girl, who kept her lips sealed tight, except when she was grumbling through her speech. It was incredibly puzzling—and troubling.
"Good land!" thought Delia in real anxiety, "I only hope she ain't going to do anything too dreadful. I declare, if it weren't that I'm so soft where Nannie is concerned I'd say I'd be glad that some one's coming who may be up to managin' her. I'm free to confess I ain't. If only her mother had lived! Or, if only my dear Miss Belle hadn't gone off to the ends of the earth—! Miss Belle could have managed her! No one could resist Miss Belle, bless her! Ah, dear me, dear me! It's fifteen years, and to think, I'll never see her face again!"
"Good grief!" Delia thought with real worry, "I just hope she’s not going to do anything too terrible. Honestly, if I weren’t so soft when it comes to Nannie, I’d say I’d be glad someone is coming who might be able to handle her. I admit I can’t. If only her mother had lived! Or if only my dear Miss Belle hadn’t gone off to the ends of the earth—! Miss Belle could have handled her! No one could resist Miss Belle, bless her! Oh dear, oh dear! It’s been fifteen years, and to think I’ll never see her face again!"
CHAPTER IV
THE GOVERNESS
The morning of the expected governess' arrival dawned cold and dreary. Rain fell in torrents, and the streets were drenched and slippery with slush. All day Nan moped in unhappy expectation of her anticipated thralldom. At every sound of rumbling wheels before the door she would fly to the window, torturing herself with the belief that this was the hack which was conveying the tyrant-governess to the victim-pupil, and she felt a curious sort of disappointment when no such vehicle appeared and no such personage arrived, for always the rumbling wheels belonged to some grocer's cart or butcher's wagon, and by evening the invader had still not appeared. Then Nan plucked up courage.
The morning of the expected governess' arrival was cold and gloomy. Rain poured down heavily, and the streets were soaked and slippery with slush. All day, Nan sulked in unhappy anticipation of her soon-to-be confinement. At every sound of rumbling wheels outside, she would rush to the window, tormenting herself with the idea that this was the cab bringing the tyrant-governess to the helpless student. She felt a strange kind of disappointment when no such vehicle showed up and no such person arrived, as the rumbling wheels always belonged to a grocer's cart or a butcher's wagon, and by evening, the invader still hadn't come. Then Nan gathered her courage.
"I shouldn't wonder if she had been switched off the road," she said to Delia, inclining to be quite jolly at the mere thought of such a grateful possibility. And she pictured to herself an accommodating engine whizzing the unwelcome guest off into some remote region from which she would never see the desirability of returning. Nan wished her no ill, but she did not wish herself ill either. She ate her dinner quite contentedly, and was just going to settle down comfortably to some thrilling tale of adventure when Br—r—r! went the bell, and she knew her fate had descended upon her.
"I wouldn't be surprised if she got kicked off the road," she said to Delia, feeling quite cheerful at the very thought of such a kind possibility. And she imagined a helpful engine speeding the unwanted guest off to some faraway place from which she’d never see any reason to come back. Nan didn't wish her any harm, but she didn't want any harm to come to herself either. She ate her dinner happily and was just about to get cozy with an exciting story when Br—r—r! went the bell, and she realized her fate had caught up with her.
She flew to the parlor and hid behind the folding-door. She heard Delia ascend the basement stairs. She heard her come along the hall, and then—it was very strange, but Nan really thought she heard her give a smothered exclamation that was instantly followed by the word of warning, "Hush!"—but she must have been mistaken, for it was only Mr. Turner who was speaking. He was asking for Nan herself. She slipped from behind the door with the hope at her heart that even now, at the last minute, the governess had "backed out." Certainly it looked as if she had, since she saw only the lawyer standing by the hat-stand. She held out her hand to him with a real smile of greeting when—he stepped aside and there stood the governess.
She rushed to the parlor and hid behind the folding door. She heard Delia come up the basement stairs. She heard her walk down the hall, and then—it was really strange, but Nan thought she heard her make a muffled sound followed immediately by a warning, "Hush!"—but she must have been mistaken because it was just Mr. Turner talking. He was asking for Nan herself. She came out from behind the door with hope in her heart that, even at the last moment, the governess had "backed out." It certainly looked like she had, since she only saw the lawyer standing by the hat stand. She reached out her hand to him with a genuine smile of greeting when—he stepped aside, and there was the governess.
At first Nan thought it must be some little girl, so small and slender looked the figure beside that of the tall man. The eyes beneath the rain-soaked brim of the governess' hat were soft and dark; her hair was brown, and the damp wind had blown it into innumerable little curls and tendrils about her temples, where it took on a ruddy sheen in the gas light. Her nose was delicate and short; her mouth, which was not small, was fascinating from the fact that the parting lips disclosed two rows of perfect teeth. She had two dimples that came and went as she smiled, and in her chin was a small cleft that was quivering a little, Nan noticed. She thought the governess looked as if she were going to cry. Her eyes seemed somewhat "teary round the lashes," and there was no doubt about it—her chin was quivering.
At first, Nan thought it must be a little girl, as the figure next to the tall man looked so small and slender. The eyes beneath the rain-soaked brim of the governess's hat were soft and dark; her hair was brown, and the damp wind had blown it into countless little curls and tendrils around her temples, where it caught a reddish glow in the gas light. Her nose was delicate and short; her mouth, which wasn't small, was striking because her parted lips revealed two rows of perfect teeth. She had two dimples that appeared and disappeared with her smiles, and Nan noticed a small cleft in her chin that was quivering slightly. She thought the governess looked like she was about to cry. Her eyes seemed a bit "teary around the lashes," and there was no doubt about it—her chin was quivering.
"Pooh!" thought Nan. "I might have saved myself all that worry. She's as afraid as she can be. I guess I'll be able to manage her as easy as pie."
"Ugh!" thought Nan. "I could have saved myself all that stress. She's as scared as can be. I guess I'll be able to handle her easily."
But now Mr. Turner was addressing her.
But now Mr. Turner was talking to her.
"Nan," he was saying, "this is Miss Blake. Can't you welcome her to her new home, my dear?"
"Nan," he said, "this is Miss Blake. Can't you welcome her to her new home, dear?"
Nan hung back in awkward silence, but the new governess did not give her the opportunity to make the moment an embarrassing one. She stepped forward, and, taking the girl's hand in her own, said softly:
Nan stood there in awkward silence, but the new governess didn’t let it become an embarrassing moment. She stepped forward, took the girl’s hand in hers, and said softly:
"Mr. Turner has told me all about you. I hope we shall be very happy together."
"Mr. Turner has told me everything about you. I hope we’ll be really happy together."
She did not attempt to kiss her.
She didn't try to kiss her.
Nan murmured an indistinct "Yes'm," and shrank back against the wall. Delia stood beside the new governess with a very curious expression on her face. For a moment there was silence, and then Mr. Turner broke in upon it with:
Nan mumbled an unclear "Yes," and pressed herself against the wall. Delia stood next to the new governess with a very curious look on her face. For a moment, there was silence, and then Mr. Turner interrupted it with:
"I think it would be well if Miss Blake were to be shown to her room at once. She is drenched with the rain and must be cold and hungry. Will you be good enough, Delia, to get her something to eat while Nan takes her upstairs?"
"I think it would be best if Miss Blake were shown to her room right away. She's soaked from the rain and must be cold and hungry. Would you be kind enough, Delia, to get her something to eat while Nan takes her upstairs?"
Nan started forward quickly at the note of rebuke in the lawyer's voice.
Nan moved forward quickly at the hint of criticism in the lawyer's voice.
"Oh, won't you come to your room?" she asked.
"Oh, will you come to your room?" she asked.
She vaguely wondered what made Delia look so strange and act in such a dazed, uncertain fashion. She thought she must be a sad "'fraid-cat" to be overawed by such a little personage as the new governess.
She was somewhat curious about why Delia seemed so odd and acted so out of it and unsure of herself. She thought she must be a real scaredy-cat to be intimidated by someone as small as the new governess.
"Now I will say good-night," said Mr. Turner to Miss Blake, as she started to follow Nan above. "I hope," he added in an undertone, taking her hand, "that you will be happy. Don't become discouraged. Send for me whenever you need me. I am always at your service."
"Now I'm going to say goodnight," Mr. Turner said to Miss Blake as she began to follow Nan upstairs. "I hope," he added quietly, taking her hand, "that you find happiness. Don't get discouraged. Call for me whenever you need me. I’m always here for you."
She silently bowed her thanks. Somehow she found it difficult to speak just then. She had been tired and cold before she entered the house, but it seemed to her she had not known weariness or chill until now. She felt herself shiver as she turned away from the lawyer and heard the door close behind him. He seemed to be leaving her alone with an enemy.
She quietly nodded her thanks. Somehow, she found it hard to speak at that moment. She had felt tired and cold before she entered the house, but it seemed to her that she hadn't truly experienced fatigue or chill until now. She felt herself shiver as she turned away from the lawyer and heard the door shut behind him. He seemed to be leaving her alone with an opponent.
Nan certainly looked anything but amicable.
Nan definitely did not look friendly at all.
"Here's your room," she announced, as they reached the upper landing. She flung open a door, and the new governess found herself stepping forth into utter darkness, where Nan herself was groping about for matches. The air of the place was cold and damp. It had the feel of a room that was unused. It was barren and cheerless. But in the second preceding Nan's discovery of the matches Miss Blake hoped that when the gas was lit it would seem more inviting. But it did not. It was bare and undecorated, and presented anything but an attractive appearance.
"Here’s your room," she said as they reached the top of the stairs. She swung open a door, and the new governess stepped into complete darkness, where Nan was fumbling around for matches. The air in the room felt cold and damp, like a space that hadn't been used in a while. It was empty and unwelcoming. Just a moment before Nan found the matches, Miss Blake hoped that once the gas was lit, it would look more inviting. But it didn’t. It was plain and bare, giving off anything but an appealing vibe.
The stranger drew two long pins from her hat without saying a word. Nan turned on her heel and made to leave the room.
The stranger took out two long pins from her hat without saying anything. Nan turned on her heel and prepared to leave the room.
"Will you please tell me where I can find some warm water?" inquired Miss Blake.
"Can you please tell me where I can find some warm water?" Miss Blake asked.
"Washstand in that little dressing-room. Left-hand faucet," announced Nan, curtly, and marched away.
"Washstand in that little dressing room. Left-hand faucet," Nan said bluntly and walked off.
The governess gently closed the door.
The governess quietly shut the door.
Perhaps if Nan had remained there to see she would have wondered if Miss Blake were quite in her right mind. Her behavior was certainly extraordinary. The tears rained down her cheeks, and she did not try to stop them. She just stood in the middle of the floor and gazed about at the awkwardly-placed furniture, the faded carpet, the bare walls, and the ugly mantel-piece as if she could not take her eyes from them. She turned slowly from one thing to another, and presently, in a sort of timid, hungry way, she stretched out her hand and touched each separate object with her caressing fingers, crying very hard the while and murmuring to herself in so low a voice that no one could have overheard.
Perhaps if Nan had stayed to watch, she would have questioned whether Miss Blake was entirely sane. Her behavior was certainly unusual. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she didn't even try to wipe them away. She just stood in the middle of the room, staring at the awkwardly arranged furniture, the worn carpet, the bare walls, and the unattractive mantelpiece as if she couldn't tear her gaze away from them. She slowly turned from one item to another, and eventually, in a shy, desperate way, she reached out her hand and touched each thing with her gentle fingers, crying quite hard the entire time and murmuring to herself in such a soft voice that no one could have heard her.
Even Nan must have softened to her as she stood there crying softly and smiling through her tears at this bare and unfamiliar room. Even Nan must have been moved to wonder what Miss Blake had suffered that she was so glad to get into such an uninviting shelter as this.
Even Nan must have softened toward her as she stood there crying softly and smiling through her tears at this empty and unfamiliar room. Even Nan must have been moved to wonder what Miss Blake had gone through that she felt so happy to be in such an unwelcoming place as this.
But Nan was down stairs in the basement watching Delia prepare a dainty supper for the governess, and scowling at her as she saw to what trouble she went to make it appetizing and delicate.
But Nan was downstairs in the basement watching Delia prepare a fancy dinner for the governess, and scowling at her as she noticed the effort Delia put into making it tasty and delicate.
"There, Delia Connor!" she burst out resentfully, "you're the worst turn-coat I ever saw in my life! This very afternoon you looked black as thunder when you thought she had come, and now you are just dancing attendance on her, as if she was the best friend you ever had!"
"There, Delia Connor!" she exclaimed bitterly, "you're the biggest traitor I've ever seen! Just this afternoon, you looked furious when you thought she had arrived, and now you're acting like her loyal companion, as if she's the best friend you've ever had!"
"Perhaps she is," responded Delia, placing sprigs of parsley neatly about the sliced chicken and setting the coffee-pot on the range.
"Maybe she is," Delia replied, arranging sprigs of parsley neatly around the sliced chicken and putting the coffee pot on the stove.
Nan tossed her head scornfully. "Well, I like that! I should think you'd be ashamed! A perfect stranger like her!"
Nan tossed her head in disdain. "Well, I can't believe that! I would think you'd be embarrassed! A total stranger like her!"
Delia did not answer. She was crushing ice for the olives, and as Nan spoke she bent her face over the table and pounded away in silence. But when she had finished, she lifted her head and said, amiably:
Delia didn’t respond. She was crushing ice for the olives, and as Nan talked, she lowered her face over the table and pounded away quietly. But once she was done, she lifted her head and said pleasantly:
"Oh, you can't tell. By the looks of her I should think she is a good-natured little body. She has the true eyes. When you see eyes like that you can mostly be sure they've an honest soul behind 'em. I shouldn't wonder if she'd be a good friend to any one who'd let her."
"Oh, you can't really tell. Just by looking at her, I’d guess she's a friendly little person. She has those genuine eyes. When you see eyes like that, you can usually be confident there's a sincere soul behind them. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd be a great friend to anyone who would give her a chance."
"Huh!" sneered Nan, wrathfully, "that means, I s'pose, that you intend to let her. Never talk to me of turn-coats any more, Delia Connor!"
"Huh!" Nan sneered angrily, "I guess that means you plan on letting her. Don’t ever call me a turncoat again, Delia Connor!"
Delia caught up a coal-hod and strode deliberately off toward the cellar stairs. When she came back she was laden down with kindlings and coal.
Delia grabbed a coal hod and confidently walked toward the cellar stairs. When she returned, she was loaded up with kindling and coal.
"What you going to do with those?" demanded Nan, imperatively.
"What are you going to do with those?" Nan asked, firmly.
"Build a fire in the library. I guess a spark'll look good to the poor little soul—coming in out of the cold and wet."
"Start a fire in the library. I think a spark will look nice to the poor little thing—coming in from the cold and rain."
This was the last straw. Nan's eyes flashed, and she tore after Delia upstairs, scolding as fast as the words would come.
This was the last straw. Nan's eyes lit up with anger, and she raced after Delia upstairs, scolding as quickly as she could.
"The idea! The idea! A fire! 'Poor little soul!' And many's the time I've come in out of the cold and you haven't even as much as lit the gas! Oh, no; never mind me! I can come in out of the cold till every tooth in my head chatters, and you wouldn't care a straw. Why, Delia Connor, we never have that fire lit. You just know we don't! There hasn't been a fire in that grate since daddy went away! You know very well there hasn't, and now the first thing you do is to light it for that horrid governess-woman that's going to boss you 'round like anything, and make me do all sorts of hateful things. I tell you what it is, Delia Connor, you don't care a single thing about me. I know just how 'twill be. You'll help her to do anything she wants to, and you'll never stand up for me a bit. It's mean of you, Delia! It's downright mean of you. And it's just because she's got those dimples and things, and smiles at you as if you were her best friend. But she needn't think she can manage me. I'm not going to be ordered about by her, if she has got a soft voice and shiny eyes!"
"The idea! The idea! A fire! 'Poor little soul!' And how many times have I come in from the cold, and you haven't even bothered to turn on the gas! Oh, no; don't worry about me! I can come in from the cold until my teeth chatter, and you wouldn't care at all. Why, Delia Connor, we never have that fire lit. You know we don’t! There hasn’t been a fire in that grate since Dad left! You know that very well, and now the first thing you do is light it for that awful governess who's going to boss you around and make me do all sorts of annoying things. I'm telling you, Delia Connor, you don’t care one bit about me. I know exactly how this will go. You’ll help her do whatever she wants, and you’ll never stand up for me at all. It’s really unfair, Delia! It’s downright mean of you. And it’s just because she has those dimples and gives you that look like you’re her best friend. But she shouldn’t think she can control me. I'm not going to be bossed around by her, just because she has a sweet voice and shiny eyes!"
Nan and the fire sputtered and blazed as though they were trying to see which could outdo the other, and Delia stood by looking first at this one and then at that with a good deal less fear of the sparks from the grate than of those from Nan's eyes.
Nan and the fire flickered and blazed as if they were competing to see which one could shine brighter, while Delia watched, shifting her gaze from one to the other with much less fear of the sparks from the fireplace than of those from Nan's eyes.
She knew better than to try to pacify the girl when her temper was at such a white-heat, and she inwardly wondered what would happen if the governess should come down while it was yet at its worst. As if in answer to her question they heard the sound of an opening door above, and immediately after Miss Blake's light steps upon the stairs. Nan bit a word off square in the middle and set her lips tightly together. Delia removed the "blower" from the grate and the dancing flames leaped high up the chimney and sent a ruddy glow about the room. The only sounds to be heard were the comfortable ticking of the tall clock in the corner and the low purring of the fire behind its bars. Miss Blake came down the hall and paused on the library threshold.
She knew better than to try to calm the girl when she was so furious, and she couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if the governess walked in while things were still so tense. Just then, as if in response to her thoughts, they heard a door open upstairs, followed by Miss Blake's light footsteps on the stairs. Nan cut off a word abruptly and pressed her lips together. Delia took the "blower" from the grate, and the roaring flames shot up the chimney, casting a warm glow around the room. The only sounds were the reassuring ticking of the tall clock in the corner and the soft purring of the fire behind its screen. Miss Blake walked down the hall and stopped at the library door.
"Oh, how jolly!" she cried, clapping her hands like a delighted child and running forward eagerly to the hearth. "How perfectly jolly! Don't you think an open fire is the most comfortable thing in the world? And I always loved this one particularly—I mean this kind," she corrected herself quickly.
"Oh, how wonderful!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands like an excited child and rushing eagerly to the fireplace. "How absolutely fantastic! Don’t you think an open fire is the coziest thing in the world? And I've always loved this one especially—I mean this kind," she quickly corrected herself.
Nan made no response. She sat in her father's study-chair as stiff and stolid as a lay-figure in a shop window, with her lips drawn primly over her teeth.
Nan didn't respond. She sat in her father's study chair, rigid and expressionless like a mannequin in a store window, her lips tightly pressed together.
Miss Blake was, or pretended to be, unconscious of her attitude, however, and went on talking as easily as though she had the most appreciative of listeners.
Miss Blake was, or acted as if she were, unaware of her attitude, yet continued talking as effortlessly as if she had the most supportive audience.
"When I was a little girl I used to love to cuddle down here on the hearth-rug—I mean I used to love to cuddle down on the hearth-rug and look into the burning coals. I used to see all sorts of wonderful things in the flames. They used to tell me I'd 'singe my curly pow a-biggin' castles in the air,' but I didn't mind, did I—I mean I didn't mind," she caught herself up quickly.
"When I was a little girl, I loved to snuggle down on the hearth rug—I mean, I really enjoyed curling up on the rug and gazing into the burning coals. I would see all kinds of amazing things in the flames. People would tell me I’d 'burn my curly hair building castles in the air,' but I didn’t care, did I—I mean, I didn’t care," she corrected herself quickly.
Delia coughed behind her hand and hurriedly left the room in order to get Miss Blake's supper, which she meant to serve upstairs for the occasion.
Delia coughed into her hand and quickly left the room to get Miss Blake's dinner, which she planned to serve upstairs for the occasion.
As soon as she was gone the new governess turned toward Nan in a strange apologetic sort of way and said:
As soon as she left, the new governess turned to Nan in a weirdly apologetic manner and said:
"I think, if you'll excuse me, I'll just cuddle down on the rug as I used to do when—when I was a little girl. It seems so good to get back—to an open fire that it makes me quite homesick. You won't mind, will you?"
"I think, if you don't mind, I'll just curl up on the rug like I used to when I was a little girl. It feels so nice to be back to a warm fire that it makes me feel a bit nostalgic. You don't mind, do you?"
Nan gave a grunt that was meant for "No," and the new governess plumped down upon the floor with her chin in her palms and her elbows on her knees, looking so much like a little girl that for a second Nan had a wild impulse to plump down beside her and inquire, by way of opening the acquaintance—
Nan gave a grunt that meant "No," and the new governess sat down on the floor with her chin in her hands and her elbows on her knees, looking so much like a little girl that for a moment, Nan had a sudden urge to sit down next to her and start a conversation to break the ice—
"Say, does your hair curl like that naturally—or does your mother put it up at night?" or something equally introductory and to the point. But of course she did no such thing, and when Delia reappeared she found them regarding the fire in perfect silence.
"Hey, does your hair curl like that naturally, or does your mom set it at night?" or something just as straightforward. But of course, she didn’t do anything like that, and when Delia came back, she found them staring at the fire in complete silence.
At the sound of her step Miss Blake lifted her head and gave Nan a bewildering smile.
At the sound of her footsteps, Miss Blake looked up and gave Nan a confusing smile.
"How stupid I have been! Do forgive me!" she said. "We have been having what the Germans call 'an English conversation,' haven't we? I was thinking so hard I quite forgot you—and myself. Ah, what a pretty supper! But I put you to so much trouble," and she turned on Delia two very grateful eyes, while she jumped to her feet with the lightest possible ease.
"How foolish I've been! Please forgive me!" she said. "We've been having what the Germans call 'an English conversation,' right? I was thinking so hard that I completely forgot about you—and about myself. Ah, what a lovely supper! But I caused you so much trouble," and she looked at Delia with very grateful eyes as she jumped to her feet with the utmost ease.
Delia beamed down upon her beatifically and gave an extra touch to the dainty tray. Nan from her chair scowled darkly upon the whole performance. Delia had deserted her cause; had gone over bodily to the enemy—that was plain. But she needn't flaunt her defection in Nan's very face. Why, it was positively disgraceful the way Delia fetched and carried for this person already, and looked, all the while, as if she could hardly keep from dancing for very joy at the privilege. Well, this governess needn't think that Nan was the kind to be won over by a few smiles and some flickering dimples. When Nan said a thing she meant it and she stuck to it, too. She wasn't a turn-coat like some folks she knew.
Delia smiled down at her warmly and made sure the dainty tray looked perfect. Nan, sitting in her chair, glared at the whole scene. It was obvious that Delia had abandoned her and joined the other side. But she didn’t need to show off her betrayal right in front of Nan. It was honestly shameful how Delia was already running errands for this person and looked like she could barely contain her excitement about it. Well, this governess shouldn’t think that Nan was the type to be swayed by a few smiles and some charming dimples. When Nan said something, she meant it and she stood by her word. She wasn’t a traitor like some people she knew.
"'Alas, alas! my dear old home—! To think that anybody who isn't wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old home! Oh, father, her eyes are like—' Good gracious! all that description part would have to be changed!" Nan pulled herself together with a visible jerk. How could she speak of "needly eyes" when those of the governess were so deep and soft and gray that they made you feel like—no, they didn't either; but they weren't needly all the same. No! That whole description part would have to be changed. Bother! Well, if it came to that she guessed she could do it! "Her hated form haunts me in my sleep, and I dream of her all night as I see her in the daytime—little and dear, with her hair all shimmery and soft and her eyes kind of kissing you softly all the time, and—" Goodness! that would never do! Why it would be crazy to call on one's father to rescue one from a person like that. Well, she'd leave out the description altogether, that's what she'd do. She—
"'Oh no, my dear old home! To think that anyone unwanted would just come and impose themselves in my cherished home! Oh, father, her eyes are like—' Good grief! All that description would need to change!" Nan shook herself back to reality. How could she talk about "prickly eyes" when the governess's were so deep, soft, and gray that they made you feel like—no, that wasn't right either; but they definitely weren't prickly. No! That whole description had to be reworked. Ugh! Well, if it came to that, she figured she could manage it! "Her detested presence haunts me in my dreams, and I think about her all night as I see her in the daylight—small and lovely, with her hair all shiny and soft and her eyes seeming to hug you gently all the time, and—" Oh my! That wouldn't work at all! It would be absurd to call on her father to save her from someone like that. Fine, she would just omit the description entirely; that's what she'd do. She—
"Did you speak?" asked the governess, in her musical voice, turning toward Nan inquiringly, and then the girl suddenly realized that she had been mumbling her thoughts aloud.
"Did you speak?" asked the governess in her melodic voice, turning to Nan with curiosity. Then the girl suddenly realized that she had been voicing her thoughts out loud.
"No, I didn't," she responded, with irritation. "It was too bad," she declared to herself it was, "that after all the trouble she had taken to learn the thing by heart, she should be pestered to death by having to make changes in it this way—at the last minute, too. Why wasn't Miss Blake tall and lanky and needly-eyed and a fright, she'd like to know? It was just like her, though! So contrary! To change about and upset all Nan's plans. Well, as long as there was so much fuss about the thing, she s'posed she'd give it up."
"No, I didn't," she replied, annoyed. "It's such a shame," she thought, "that after all the effort I put into memorizing it, I have to deal with these last-minute changes. Why couldn't Miss Blake be tall, awkward, and scary, like I'd have expected? It's just like her! So unpredictable! To mess up all of Nan's plans. Well, since there's so much drama about this, I guess I'll just let it go."
"She's so little, it'll be easy enough to manage her. I guess it isn't worth while. I can just say, to-morrow or next day, 'Miss Blake, I've come to the conclusion you don't suit,' and she'll go right off. She may cry a little, but I won't mind that; and if she begs to stay, I'll say, 'Now there's no use teasing! When I once say a thing I mean it!' and that will settle her once for all."
"She's so small, it'll be easy to handle her. I suppose it's not worth it. I can just say, tomorrow or the next day, 'Miss Blake, I've decided that you aren't the right fit,' and she'll leave right away. She might cry a bit, but I won't worry about that; and if she asks to stay, I'll say, 'There's no point in begging! When I say something, I mean it!' and that will put an end to it for good."
Delia was pressing the governess to take more supper when Nan again waked to what was going on about her.
Delia was urging the governess to have more supper when Nan woke up again to what was happening around her.
"Why, you don't eat any more than you used—I mean than a bird. Do take a little more chicken, do! And a cup of coffee, nice and hot, that's a good—lady!"
"Why, you don't eat any more than you used to—I mean like a bird. Please, have a bit more chicken, would you? And a cup of coffee, nice and hot, that's a good—lady!"
It was really too humiliating! It was more than Nan could bear. She sprang to her feet and without a word—with nothing but a glance of withering scorn at Delia—swept out of the room and upstairs to bed.
It was just too humiliating! It was more than Nan could handle. She jumped to her feet and without saying a word—just giving Delia a look of complete disdain—stormed out of the room and went upstairs to bed.
Miss Blake looked after her with strange, wondering eyes, but made no attempt to follow her. She just turned to Delia and stretched out her hands.
Miss Blake watched her with curious, bewildered eyes, but made no effort to follow her. She simply turned to Delia and reached out her hands.
"O Delia! Delia!" she faltered, brokenly.
"O Delia! Delia!" she stammered, her voice trembling.
The woman came to her and took both the little hands in hers. "Bless you, dearie!" she cried. "That I ever lived to see the day! There, there, lamb, don't cry so, Allanah! See, I'm not crying, am I now?" sobbed she, kneeling beside the stranger and hugging her knees wildly. "Oh, but it's glad I am to see your dear face again! Now tell me all about it—how you came to know we need you so bad?"
The woman approached her and held both of the little hands in hers. "Bless you, sweetheart!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe I lived to see this day! There, there, don’t cry so much, Allanah! Look, I’m not crying, am I?" she sobbed, kneeling beside the stranger and hugging her knees tightly. "Oh, I’m just so happy to see your sweet face again! Now tell me everything—how did you find out we needed you so much?"
CHAPTER V
GETTING ACQUAINTED
Nan, in spite of the fact that she assured herself her heart was broken, fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. She slept heavily customarily but to-night her rest was fitful and troubled. She kept dreaming strange dreams that caused her to twitch in her sleep and give queer little cries of distress and moans of fretfulness. Sometimes she seemed to be trying to overtake something that was constantly eluding her. First it was a long, lank creature with piercing eyes and a knob at the back of its head which it seemed to be Nan's duty, not to say pleasure, to shoot off with a paper of needles. Then it was something she must recollect or be put to death for forgetting; some awful harangue that she had been doomed to deliver before Delia and a vast crowd of other people, all of whom were staring at her regretfully and murmuring to one another that it was a shame such a hoyden should be allowed to live; and again it was some dainty little creature with tender eyes and shining hair that Nan longed to follow but could not because of something inside her breast that held her back and would not let her call.
Nan, even though she convinced herself that her heart was broken, fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She usually slept heavily, but tonight her rest was restless and troubled. She kept dreaming odd dreams that made her twitch in her sleep and let out strange little cries of distress and moans of annoyance. Sometimes it felt like she was trying to catch something that kept slipping away from her. First, it was a tall, skinny creature with piercing eyes and a bump on the back of its head that she felt it was her duty, if not her pleasure, to shoot with a paper full of needles. Then it was something she had to remember or face dire consequences for forgetting; some terrible speech she was meant to give in front of Delia and a huge crowd of other people, all of whom were looking at her with pity and whispering that it was a shame such a tomboy should even be alive; and again it was a delicate little creature with gentle eyes and shiny hair that Nan wanted to follow but couldn’t because of something in her chest that held her back and wouldn’t let her call out.
Miss Blake did not go to her room until very late. She and Delia kept up a steady stream of conversation until long after midnight, and even then the governess would not have paused if Delia had not been struck with sudden compunction.
Miss Blake didn't go to her room until very late. She and Delia kept chatting away until long after midnight, and even then the governess wouldn't have stopped if Delia hadn't suddenly felt guilty.
"Dear heart alive!" she cried, scrambling to her feet hastily as the clock chimed twelve. "Here you've been wore out with tiredness and excitement and I keep you up till all hours pressin' you with questions that you ain't fit to answer, just as if we wouldn't have time an' to spare together for the rest of our lives, please Heaven! Now go to bed, dearie, so you'll be all rested and fresh in the morning."
"Dear heart alive!" she exclaimed, quickly getting to her feet as the clock struck twelve. "You've been worn out from tiredness and excitement, and I keep you up late bombarding you with questions that you're not in a state to answer, as if we wouldn't have plenty of time together for the rest of our lives, God willing! Now go to bed, sweetheart, so you'll be all rested and refreshed in the morning."
Miss Blake shook her head. "No, not all the rest of our lives together, Delia," she cried, hurriedly; "it can only be for a year at most. You said it would be a year, didn't you? Well, then, you know I could not stay after that."
Miss Blake shook her head. "No, not for the rest of our lives together, Delia," she said quickly; "it can only be for a year at most. You said it would be a year, right? Well, then, you know I couldn’t stay after that."
"Go to bed, dearie," was Delia's sole response. "And may you sleep easy and have no dreams."
"Go to bed, sweetheart," was Delia's only response. "And may you sleep well and have no dreams."
She took her upstairs herself, just as if the governess had been a little girl; and was not satisfied until she had brushed out the masses of shining hair and woven them into a long, ruddy braid behind. Then she smoothed the pillow lovingly and with another hearty "sleep well" went down stairs to "do up" her dishes and get the house closed for the night.
She took her upstairs herself, treating the governess like she was a little girl; and she wasn't satisfied until she had brushed out the thick, shiny hair and braided it into a long, reddish braid at the back. Then she lovingly smoothed the pillow and, with another warm "sleep well," went downstairs to clean up her dishes and get the house ready for the night.
When she finally stole up to her own room through the pitchy halls she was glad to see that there was no light in the governess' room and that all was darkness and silence within.
When she finally sneaked up to her room through the dark halls, she was relieved to see that there was no light in the governess's room and that everything inside was dark and quiet.
"Good! She's asleep by this time, the dear!" murmured the faithful soul, and was soon snoring peacefully herself, quite worn out with the excitement of the evening.
"Good! She's asleep by now, the dear!" murmured the loyal soul, and soon she was snoring peacefully herself, totally exhausted from the excitement of the evening.
But Miss Blake was not asleep. Her eyes stared widely into the darkness and her brain was spinning with all sorts of teasing thoughts. She listened to the ticking of her watch beneath her pillow—to the muffled chime of the tall clock in the room below—to the gentle rattle of plaster inside the walls where some hidden mouse was scuttling in search of a stolen supper, and tried to soothe herself into a doze but failed and tried and failed again.
But Miss Blake wasn't asleep. Her eyes were wide open, staring into the darkness, and her mind was racing with all sorts of nagging thoughts. She listened to the ticking of her watch under her pillow, the soft chime of the tall clock in the room below, and the gentle rattling of plaster inside the walls where a hidden mouse was scurrying around looking for a stolen meal. She tried to calm herself into a light sleep but kept failing, trying again and again.
Suddenly she sat bolt upright in bed. The sound she heard now was a new one, and one that caused her flesh to tingle. It was the sound of a stealthy hand upon her door. The knob turned noiselessly, the hinges gave a faint whine, and there on the threshold stood a white-robed figure, ghastly and spectral in the pallid light that fell upon it from the cloud-freed moon outside. Miss Blake did not utter a sound and the apparition glided forward with slow, measured steps until it stood beside her bed. Its eyes were staring and wide and fixed.
Suddenly, she sat straight up in bed. The sound she heard now was different, one that made her skin prickle. It was the sound of a quiet hand on her door. The knob turned silently, the hinges made a soft creak, and there on the threshold stood a figure in a white robe, looking ghostly and eerie in the pale light coming from the now-visible moon outside. Miss Blake didn’t say a word, and the apparition glided forward with slow, deliberate steps until it was next to her bed. Its eyes were wide open and fixed, staring intensely.
"It's Nan!" thought Miss Blake, not daring to speak aloud.
"It's Nan!" thought Miss Blake, not daring to say it out loud.
The apparition did not remove its gaze. Presently it sighed. Then it raised its head and spoke and its voice was weirdly low and mournful.
The ghost didn't look away. Then it sighed. After that, it lifted its head and spoke, its voice strangely low and sorrowful.
"Alas, alas!" it wailed. "This is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my life. My dear old home! To think that anybody who isn't wanted should come and push herself like this into my dear old home! What does she know of the way I feel? I can never tell her how I hate to have her here, for that would be unladylike. But oh, how I hate it! No, I must keep my lips closed and bear her persecution in silence."
"Oh no, oh no!" she cried. "This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. My beloved old home! To think that someone who isn’t wanted can just come in and take over my dear old home like this! What does she know about how I feel? I can never express how much I dislike having her here, because that would be improper. But oh, how I loathe it! No, I have to keep my mouth shut and put up with her torment in silence."
Two white hands were raised and wrung in a way that was truly tragic.
Two white hands were raised and twisted in a way that was truly tragic.
"O father, father!" groaned the ghost, making wild grabs at its hair, "come home from Bombay and save me from this awful woman. Turn her out of the house. Make her go back where she came from. Her hated form haunts me in my sleep and I dream all night of her as I see her in the daytime."
"O dad, dad!" moaned the ghost, tugging at its hair, "come back from Bombay and save me from this terrible woman. Get her out of the house. Make her go back to where she came from. Her hated presence haunts me in my sleep, and I dream about her all night, just like I see her during the day."
Miss Blake caught her breath in a struggling gasp of dread as to what would come next.
Miss Blake gasped in fear, trying to catch her breath as she wondered what would happen next.
"Tall and thin and lanky, with hair all dragged into that ugly little hard knob at the back of her head!"
"Tall, thin, and lanky, with her hair all pulled into that unattractive little hard bun at the back of her head!"
The ghost paused, and its uneasy hands clasped each other convulsively while it showed plainly that it was confused in its mind and struggling to grasp a thought it could not express.
The ghost paused, its nervous hands clutching one another tightly as it clearly showed that it was confused and trying to hold onto a thought it couldn't put into words.
Miss Blake breathed a deep sigh of relief. She had really begun to suspect that it was a vision of herself that was haunting Nan in her nightmare. Of course now she knew better. For surely she was not "tall and lanky," and her hair was certainly not "dragged into an ugly little knob at the back of her head." How grateful she was it had not proved to be herself.
Miss Blake breathed a deep sigh of relief. She had really started to suspect that it was a vision of herself that was haunting Nan in her nightmare. Of course, now she knew better. For surely she was not "tall and lanky," and her hair was definitely not "pulled into an ugly little bun at the back of her head." How grateful she was that it hadn't turned out to be herself.
"O father! her eyes are like needles."
"O dad! Her eyes are like needles."
Miss Blake could have shouted for joy. But who could this awful bugbear be?
Miss Blake could have shouted with joy. But who could this terrible nightmare be?
"They prick me when she looks! Save me! Save me! my heart will break if some one doesn't come and rescue me from this terrible person. Take her away! She's coming at me with her needly eyes! Daddy! Daddy!"
"They poke me when she looks! Save me! Save me! My heart will break if someone doesn't come and rescue me from this awful person. Take her away! She's coming at me with her sharp eyes! Daddy! Daddy!"
The uneasy spirit rocked backward and forward in the intensity of its emotion. It stretched out its arms and wagged a threatening forefinger, while it mumbled some unintelligible warning in a voice that faltered and wavered, and then frayed off to a mere wheeze that sounded suspiciously like a snore.
The restless spirit swayed back and forth in the intensity of its feelings. It extended its arms and shook a menacing finger, while it muttered some unclear warning in a voice that trembled and faded, eventually trailing off into a wheeze that suspiciously resembled a snore.
Miss Blake would have risen if she had dared, but she dreaded the effect even the slightest shock might have upon Nan, in what she never doubted was a somnambulistic trance. But when the white-robed figure turned slowly about and retraced its steps to the threshold, she started up and noiselessly followed after to make sure that the girl arrived safely in her own bed and showed no sign of further wandering that night.
Miss Blake would have gotten up if she felt it was safe, but she was worried about how even the faintest surprise might affect Nan, who she believed was in a sleepwalking state. But when the figure in white slowly turned around and walked back to the doorway, she jumped up and quietly followed to ensure that the girl made it back to her bed safely and didn’t show any signs of wandering further that night.
Never was a passage from room to room made more deliberately, and when the bed was reached the phantom scrambled into it, dragged the blankets closely about her shoulders and with a sigh of satisfaction settled herself to slumber.
Never was a passage from room to room made more deliberately, and when the bed was reached, the phantom climbed into it, pulled the blankets tightly around her shoulders, and with a sigh of satisfaction, settled down to sleep.
The governess crept back to her own room, thoroughly chilled and shivering with nervousness. It was an hour or more before she felt herself growing drowsy, but at last she dropped asleep and slept heavily until long past the usual rising hour.
The governess quietly returned to her room, feeling completely cold and jittery with anxiety. It took her over an hour to start feeling sleepy, but eventually, she fell asleep and slept soundly until well past the usual time to get up.
Nan waked at her accustomed time, feeling tired and irritable. She found Delia in the kitchen, preparing a tempting breakfast with more than her habitual care.
Nan woke up at her usual time, feeling tired and cranky. She found Delia in the kitchen, preparing a delicious breakfast with more attention than usual.
"Huh!" grunted the girl. "We have hot muffins every morning, don't we? And griddle-cakes! and eggs, and scallops, and fried potatoes, too! Oh, no! we're not making any fuss for the governess. Oh, no! none at all! If I were you I'd be ashamed of myself, Delia Connor!"
"Huh!" huffed the girl. "We have fresh muffins every morning, right? And pancakes! And eggs, and scallops, and fried potatoes, too! Oh, no! We're not making a big deal for the governess. Oh, no! Not at all! If I were you, I'd be embarrassed, Delia Connor!"
Delia pursed her lips together and made no retort.
Delia pressed her lips together and didn't reply.
It did not improve Nan's temper to have to wait for her breakfast until Miss Blake should appear. But Delia made no attempt to serve her, and she was too proud to ask. Happily the delay was not too serious, and the governess appeared at the dining-room door just in time to prevent the muffins from falling and Nan's temper from rising.
It didn't help Nan's mood to wait for her breakfast until Miss Blake showed up. But Delia didn't try to serve her, and Nan was too proud to ask. Fortunately, the wait wasn't too long, and the governess walked in just in time to save the muffins and keep Nan from getting angry.
"Good morning!" said the cheery voice.
"Good morning!" said the cheerful voice.
"—morning!" snapped Nan.
"—morning!" snapped Nan.
"I overslept," continued the governess apologetically; "and I am thoroughly ashamed of myself. I beg your pardon. But I was very tired. I did not sleep over-well the first part of the night."
"I overslept," the governess said apologetically. "I'm really ashamed of myself. I’m sorry. But I was very tired. I didn’t sleep well during the first part of the night."
"You're not late—or—or anything," said Nan. "I never get up till I feel like it."
"You're not late—or anything," said Nan. "I never get up until I feel like it."
Miss Blake made no comment.
Miss Blake didn’t say anything.
"And how did you sleep?" she asked after a moment, her eyes laughing mischievously as though in spite of her, while her face remained quite sober.
"And how did you sleep?" she asked after a moment, her eyes playfully sparkling as if in spite of herself, while her face stayed serious.
"All right," responded Nan, uncommunicatively.
"Okay," replied Nan, uncommunicatively.
"No dreams?"
"No dreams?"
The girl shook her head non-committally.
The girl shook her head without giving a clear answer.
"Now, I wonder whether I could tell you your dream," ventured the governess, the light fading a little in her eyes.
"Now, I’m curious if I could tell you your dream," the governess said, the light dimming a bit in her eyes.
Nan did not encourage her to try.
Nan didn't encourage her to give it a shot.
"You were being pursued by some awful creature—oh, quite a gorgon, I should say!"
"You were being chased by some terrible creature—oh, definitely a gorgon, I would say!"
The girl lifted her head.
The girl raised her head.
"This relentless creature was deaf to all your appeals, though you appealed to her touchingly, something after this style: Alas, Alas! this is the worst thing that ever happened to me in all my—"
"This unyielding creature was deaf to all your pleas, even though you pleaded with her in a heartfelt way, something like this: Oh no! This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in all my—"
"Stop!" cried Nan, suddenly, with blazing eyes, "I didn't! I didn't! Delia listened. She told on me. You're making fun of me, and you're both of you just as mean as you can be, so there!"
"Stop!" shouted Nan, suddenly, with fierce eyes, "I didn't! I didn't! Delia listened. She snitched on me. You're making fun of me, and you’re both being as mean as possible, so there!"
She started up from her chair, which she thrust behind her so roughly that it fell to the ground with a bang, and rushed toward the door in a fury of anger and mortification.
She jumped up from her chair, pushing it back so hard that it hit the ground with a loud thud, and hurried toward the door in a fit of anger and embarrassment.
Miss Blake sprang from her place and tried to detain her, crying:
Miss Blake jumped up from her seat and tried to stop her, shouting:
"Nan, Nan! What do you mean? I was only in sport! Come back, dear, and let me tell you all about it." But the girl fled past her, flinging her hand passionately away and spurning her attempt at explanation. A moment later the street door flung to with a loud slam.
"Nan, Nan! What do you mean? I was just joking! Come back, please, and let me explain everything." But the girl rushed past her, throwing her hand away angrily and rejecting her attempt to clarify. A moment later, the front door slammed shut loudly.
The quick tears sprang to the governess' eyes, but she crushed them back.
The quick tears filled the governess's eyes, but she fought them back.
"Don't mind her, dearie," said Delia, consolingly, but with an effort and a sigh. "She ain't always like this. She's sorter upset just now. She don't mean any harm, and she'll be sorry enough for what she's done come lunchtime. Now, you see."
"Don't worry about her, sweetie," Delia said kindly, but with some effort and a sigh. "She isn't always like this. She's a bit upset right now. She doesn't mean any harm, and she'll regret what she's done by lunchtime. Now, you see."
"But I don't understand," Miss Blake cried. "She said you listened and that you told me, and that we were both making fun of her. She thinks we are in league against her. What can she mean? Why, I was only repeating some nonsense she said in her sleep last night, and I thought she would be amused to hear an account of it. She came into my room and orated in the most tragic fashion. What does she mean by saying you listened and told me?"
"But I don't get it," Miss Blake exclaimed. "She said you listened and told me, and that we were both mocking her. She thinks we're teaming up against her. What could she mean? I was just repeating some silly things she said in her sleep last night, and I thought she'd find it funny to hear about it. She came into my room and spoke dramatically. What does she mean by saying you listened and told me?"
Delia shook her head. What she privately thought on the subject she would not have told Miss Blake for worlds.
Delia shook her head. What she really thought about it, she wouldn’t have shared with Miss Blake for anything.
"If you take my advice," she ventured, "you won't mind what Nan says. She's quick as a flash, but she's got a good, big heart of her own, and it's in the right place, too. Just let her be."
"If you listen to me," she said, "you won't care what Nan says. She's really fast, but she has a big heart, and it's in the right place. Just let her be."
"Let her be?" interrupted Miss Blake, hastily, "not if this is the way she is going to be. That is not what I am here for. I am here to educate her, Delia, and I intend to do it."
"Let her be?" interrupted Miss Blake quickly. "Not if this is how she's going to act. That's not why I'm here. I'm here to educate her, Delia, and I'm going to make that happen."
Delia could see that she meant what she said. There was a determined expression about her mouth that would have surprised Nan if she had seen it. But at noon, when she returned, the governess' face was as placid as ever. She and Delia were discussing the price of butter in the most intimate fashion possible, and Nan snorted audibly as she heard them agree that it was ruinously high.
Delia could tell that she was serious about what she said. There was a determined look on her face that would have shocked Nan if she had noticed it. But when she came back at noon, the governess's expression was as calm as usual. She and Delia were talking about the price of butter in the most personal way possible, and Nan scoffed loudly when she heard them agree that it was ridiculously high.
Delia had played a poor enough part before, "kow-towing" to the enemy the first thing, but now she had deliberately betrayed her—Nan. Had "gone back on her" in the most flagrant fashion. It was the meanest thing she had ever heard of and she'd pay Delia back, you see if she wouldn't! To listen at key-holes and then go and tell-tale!
Delia had already played a weak role before, "sucking up" to the enemy from the start, but now she had intentionally betrayed her—Nan. She had "turned her back on her" in the most blatant way. It was the most despicable thing she had ever heard of, and she was going to get back at Delia, you’ll see! To eavesdrop and then run off and gossip!
"Have you had a pleasant morning?" Miss Blake asked, affably, as Nan entered the room.
"Did you have a nice morning?" Miss Blake asked kindly as Nan walked into the room.
She got a grudging affirmative, but nothing daunted she continued: "It is so cold now there ought to be good skating. Perhaps you and I can take a spin some day. Do you skate?"
She received a reluctant yes, but undeterred, she pressed on: "It's so cold now there should be some great skating. Maybe you and I can go for a spin someday. Do you skate?"
Again Nan answered "Yes," but this time there was a gleam of interest in her tone.
Again, Nan replied, "Yes," but this time there was a spark of interest in her voice.
"When my trunk comes I must show you my skates. I think them particularly fine: altogether too fine for one who skates as indifferently well as I do. I am sure you will prove a much better skater than I am. Somehow I fancy you are very proficient."
"When my trunk arrives, I have to show you my skates. I think they're really nice—almost too nice for someone who skates as mediocre as I do. I'm sure you'll be a way better skater than I am. For some reason, I get the feeling that you're really skilled."
"I like to skate, and I guess I can do it pretty well. My father taught me—to do figures and things. I don't know any one who can skate as well as my father!" said Nan, with pardonable pride.
"I love skating, and I think I’m pretty good at it. My dad taught me how to do figures and stuff. I don’t know anyone who can skate as well as my dad!" said Nan, with justifiable pride.
"I used to skate a great deal when I lived in Holland," Miss Blake observed. "There every one is so expert that I used to feel like a great bungler. Seeing others do so beautifully made me feel as though I were particularly awkward, and I really did keep in the background because I was so ashamed of my clumsy performances. Perhaps though, that was only an excuse for my not being able to do better, and one ought not to offer excuses, ought one? Is there any pond near here on which we might skate?"
"I used to skate a lot when I lived in Holland," Miss Blake said. "Everyone there is so skilled that I often felt like a complete klutz. Watching others skate with such grace made me feel especially clumsy, and I really did stay out of the way because I was so embarrassed by my awkward attempts. But maybe that was just an excuse for not being able to skate better, and we shouldn’t make excuses, right? Is there any pond nearby where we could skate?"
Nan's eyes gleamed.
Nan's eyes sparkled.
"Why, yes," she said. "We could go to the Park, or if you didn't want to go there, there's a sort of a pond they call the 'Steamer,' quite near here. Lots of people skate on it, and it's lovely fun. And there's a place the other side of the Boulevard, where you can coast beautifully. It's a jolly hill. We take our bobs there, and—the boys and me—and—"
"Sure," she said. "We could go to the park, or if you don't want to go there, there's a pond they call the 'Steamer,' pretty close by. A lot of people skate on it, and it's a lot of fun. And there's a spot on the other side of the Boulevard where you can slide down beautifully. It's a great hill. We take our sleds there, and—the boys and I—and—"
"I," suggested Miss Blake, casually—"the boys and I."
"I," suggested Miss Blake, casually—"the boys and I."
Nan blinked her eyes. The correction, however, passed by unresented.
Nan blinked her eyes. The correction, however, went by without any hard feelings.
"The folks here think it isn't nice for me to bob, and—and things. They think it's rough!"
"The people here think it's not cool for me to bob, and—and stuff. They think it's harsh!"
"Perhaps," ventured Miss Blake, "that may be because they have seen it done in a rough way, or by rough persons. You know a great deal depends upon how you do a thing."
"Maybe," suggested Miss Blake, "that could be because they've seen it done in a rough manner or by rough people. You know a lot depends on how you approach something."
Again Nan blinked her eyes. She was thinking as she had the night before:
Again, Nan blinked her eyes. She was thinking just like she had the night before:
"Pooh! I can manage her," while Miss Blake, quite unconscious of what was going on in her pupil's mind, continued: "I think if the weather holds, we may have some very good sport, you and I. Don't you think so? And now run upstairs and smooth your hair and wash your hands, for Delia will have luncheon ready very shortly, and one must make one's self tidy for meals, you know."
"Pooh! I can handle her," while Miss Blake, completely unaware of what was happening in her student’s mind, went on: "I think if the weather stays nice, we might have some really great fun, just you and me. Don’t you think? Now run upstairs, fix your hair, and wash your hands, because Delia will have lunch ready very soon, and we need to look presentable for meals, you know."
And then a very singular thing occurred. Nan found herself on the stairs in obedience to the governess' command almost before she was aware, and she proceeded to make herself tidy, with no thought of refusal at all.
And then something very strange happened. Nan found herself on the stairs following the governess's command almost before she realized it, and she started to tidy herself up without a second thought of refusing.
But at luncheon came the first tug-of-war.
But at lunch came the first tug-of-war.
Nan was about to repeat her performance of the morning, namely, to push her chair aside when she had finished eating and unceremoniously leave the table.
Nan was about to do what she did that morning, which was to push her chair aside after finishing her meal and leave the table without any fuss.
"Oh, pardon me!" interposed Miss Blake, quickly. "Please remain at the table! You were excused at breakfast, but I am sure there is no necessity for your running away again. We must pay each other the respect to remain seated until we have both finished eating. You see, I am still drinking my tea, and you must allow me another of Delia's delicious cookies."
"Oh, excuse me!" chimed in Miss Blake, quickly. "Please stay at the table! You were excused at breakfast, but I’m sure there’s no need for you to leave again. We need to show each other enough respect to stay seated until we’ve both finished eating. You see, I’m still having my tea, and you have to let me enjoy another one of Delia’s delicious cookies."
It was all said very gently, but Nan recognized beneath all the kind suggestion an unmistakable tone of command.
It was all said very gently, but Nan sensed an unmistakable tone of authority beneath all the kind suggestions.
She thrust her chair back still further.
She pushed her chair back even further.
"I don't want to wait!" she answered, dryly. "I hate sitting at the table after I'm through. You can eat all the cookies you like, only I don't want to wait."
"I don't want to wait!" she replied, flatly. "I can't stand sitting at the table after I'm done. You can eat all the cookies you want, but I don't want to wait."
"Ah, but, my dear, I want you to wait," Miss Blake said. "I demand of you no more than I myself am willing to do. We must be courteous to each other, and if you had not finished eating I should most certainly remain until you had. I expect you to do no less for me."
"Ah, but, my dear, I want you to wait," Miss Blake said. "I'm asking nothing of you that I'm not willing to do myself. We need to be polite to one another, and if you hadn’t finished eating, I would definitely stay until you had. I expect you to do the same for me."
"Well, I can't help it! I don't want to stay and I—I won't!" declared Nan, with a sudden burst of defiance.
"Well, I can't help it! I don’t want to stay and I—I won't!" declared Nan, with a sudden burst of defiance.
"Very well," returned Miss Blake, calmly. "Of course, you are too old to be forced to act in a ladylike manner if you do not desire to do so. But, equally, I am too old to be treated with discourtesy and disrespect. If you are willing to behave in a rude manner and bear the reproach that you will deserve, why, well and good—or, rather, ill and bad! But I cannot sit at table with any but gentle mannered people. Unless you wish to behave as becomes a lady, we must take our meals apart."
"Alright," Miss Blake replied calmly. "You're old enough to choose whether or not you want to act like a lady. But I'm also too old to accept rudeness and disrespect. If you're okay with being rude and dealing with the consequences, fine—but that's not for me! I can't sit at the table with anyone who lacks good manners. Unless you're willing to behave like a lady, we'll need to eat separately."
There was no smile now on the governess' face. Nan suddenly got the impression that perhaps it would not be quite "as easy as pie" to "manage" Miss Blake. It seemed to the girl that for the first time in her life she had encountered determination outside of her own. It challenged her from every line in the governess' little figure. For a moment she hesitated before it. Then, gathering herself together and summoning her dumb demon, she gave her shoulders a sullen shrug and left the room without a word.
There was no smile on the governess's face now. Nan suddenly felt that it might not be as simple as she thought to handle Miss Blake. For the first time in her life, the girl sensed determination that wasn't her own. It confronted her from every angle of the governess's petite frame. For a moment, she hesitated in the face of it. Then, pulling herself together and calling on her stubborn side, she shrugged her shoulders defiantly and left the room without saying a word.
Miss Blake finished her luncheon as though nothing had happened. Then she rose, and, going into the kitchen, said a few words to Delia—words that caused the good woman to blink hard for a second and then exclaimed:
Miss Blake finished her lunch as if nothing had happened. Then she got up, went into the kitchen, and said a few words to Delia—words that made the good woman blink hard for a moment and then exclaimed:
"Yes'm. I will. It hurts me to cross the child, but I s'pose it is best. You have a brave spirit to set yourself against Nan. I wouldn't have the stren'th, let alone the will. But I s'pose you know what you can do."
"Yes, ma'am. I will. It pains me to go against the child, but I guess it's for the best. You have a lot of courage to stand up to Nan. I wouldn't have the strength, let alone the will. But I suppose you know what you're capable of."
"Oh, yes, Delia," replied the governess, with conviction. "I know very well what I can do, but I shouldn't know if I did not have you to help me. We're both conspiring for Nan's good, and we have to work together."
"Oh, yes, Delia," the governess replied confidently. "I know exactly what I can do, but I wouldn't know if I didn't have you to help me. We're both working together for Nan's benefit, and we need to collaborate."
The rest of the afternoon Miss Blake spent in unpacking her trunk and in disposing of its contents. Beside the trunk there was a cumbersome case, a hamper, and a large crate such as is used for the shipment of bicycles. Delia gazed at it in wonderment. Did the governess use a wheel? If so, what would Mrs. Newton say? Delia trembled at the thought, and eyed the box with especial interest as it was being carried down stairs and deposited in the basement hall closet.
The rest of the afternoon, Miss Blake spent unpacking her trunk and sorting through its contents. Next to the trunk, there was a heavy case, a basket, and a large crate like the ones used for shipping bicycles. Delia looked at it in amazement. Did the governess ride a bike? If so, what would Mrs. Newton think? Delia shivered at the idea and watched the box with particular interest as it was carried downstairs and placed in the basement hall closet.
Nan wandered in about twilight and found the house cheerfully lighted and warm and comfortable. There was a fire in the library grate, and she threw herself into a chair before it and lounged there luxuriously, while above her head the new governess was tripping to and fro, "putting her room to rights," Nan suspected. She wondered about that room. She would have liked to go up there and see if those skates had arrived, but of course she could not do that. The governess must not think she cared to see her when she wasn't forced to. No, indeed!
Nan strolled in around sunset and found the house cheerfully lit, warm, and cozy. There was a fire in the library fireplace, and she sank into a chair in front of it, lounging comfortably, while above her, the new governess was darting back and forth, "tidying up her room," Nan guessed. She was curious about that room. She would have liked to go up there and check if those skates had arrived, but of course, she couldn't do that. The governess shouldn’t think she was interested in seeing her when she didn’t have to. Nope, not at all!
Later Miss Blake came down stairs, and drawing her chair nearer the lamp, commenced to sew. Presently up came Delia.
Later, Miss Blake came downstairs, moved her chair closer to the lamp, and started to sew. Before long, Delia arrived.
"Miss Blake," she said, with an emphasis Nan noticed and did not like, "your dinner is served."
"Miss Blake," she said, with an emphasis that Nan picked up on and didn't appreciate, "your dinner is ready."
Nan jumped up with an exaggerated yawn. Her hair was rough and disordered, her frock was rumpled and untidy, her hands were obviously soiled. Miss Blake remarked on none of these things. She laid her bit of needle-work upon the table and quietly passed down stairs before Nan.
Nan jumped up with a big yawn. Her hair was messy and tousled, her dress was wrinkled and disheveled, and her hands were obviously dirty. Miss Blake didn’t mention any of this. She placed her small piece of needlework on the table and quietly walked down the stairs ahead of Nan.
The table was set for one, and the governess seated herself before the solitary place.
The table was set for one, and the governess sat down in front of the empty spot.
Nan stood at the side of the table in stiff and silent amazement.
Nan stood beside the table in rigid, silent amazement.
"Where's my place, Delia?" she called, ignoring Miss Blake, except for an angry flash of her eyes.
"Where's my spot, Delia?" she shouted, dismissing Miss Blake, except for an irritated glance.
But Miss Blake was not to be ignored.
But Miss Blake couldn’t be overlooked.
"I thought you had decided to dine alone," she said. "At least, that was the impression you conveyed to me at luncheon. If you have changed your mind, Delia can easily set your place. Shall she do so?"
"I thought you had decided to eat alone," she said. "At least, that was the impression I got from you at lunch. If you've changed your mind, Delia can easily set your place. Should she do that?"
The question was simple, but Nan knew what it involved. She was speechless with rage. Her face alternately flushed and paled, while her lips twitched spasmodically.
The question was straightforward, but Nan understood what it entailed. She was at a loss for words with anger. Her face alternated between flushing and paling, while her lips twitched uncontrollably.
"I—I—hate you!" she cried at last, with breathless vehemence. "You've no right here. When my father comes he'll send you right away. You see if he don't!"
"I—I—hate you!" she shouted finally, breathless with anger. "You have no right to be here. When my dad gets here, he'll kick you out. Just watch and see!"
She flung herself in a paroxysm of anger out of the room.
She stormed out of the room in a fit of rage.
Miss Blake ate her dinner, it is true, but perhaps it was scarcely strange that her relish of it was not great. Every mouthful seemed to choke her. Delia saw her hand tremble as she raised her tumbler of water to her lips.
Miss Blake ate her dinner, it's true, but it wasn't surprising that she didn't enjoy it much. Every bite felt like it was stuck in her throat. Delia noticed her hand shake as she brought her glass of water to her lips.
"This'll make you sick, dearie, this striving with Nan. She'll never give in! Her will is that strong."
"This will make you sick, dear, this struggle with Nan. She'll never back down! Her will is just that strong."
But the governess shook her head.
But the governess shook her head.
Nan ate no dinner that night, and the next day she slept late; that is, she remained in bed late. Lying there cross and unhappy, she heard sounds of voices in Miss Blake's room. Occasionally there were other sounds as well; sounds of hammering and the moving of furniture across the floor.
Nan didn't have dinner that night, and the next day she slept in; that is, she stayed in bed late. Lying there grumpy and unhappy, she heard voices coming from Miss Blake's room. Sometimes there were other noises too; the sounds of hammering and furniture being moved across the floor.
When Nan was "good and ready" she rose and strolled down stairs with an air of nonchalance that was for Miss Blake's benefit, should she chance to see.
When Nan was "good and ready," she got up and casually walked down the stairs with a carefree attitude, just in case Miss Blake happened to see.
She found the dining-room in perfect order and the kitchen deserted. No breakfast, hot and tempting, awaited her as of old. Delia was evidently upstairs, and Nan was too stubborn to call her down. She prowled about the closets and cupboards until she discovered some cold oatmeal, a bit of meat also cold, and a slice of bread. These, with a cup of chilling milk, she gulped down hastily and with a thorough disrelish.
She found the dining room perfectly arranged and the kitchen empty. No hot and tempting breakfast was waiting for her like before. Delia was clearly upstairs, and Nan was too stubborn to summon her. She rummaged through the closets and cupboards until she found some cold oatmeal, a piece of cold meat, and a slice of bread. These, along with a cup of cold milk, she hurriedly gulped down, not enjoying any of it.
"Ugh!" she exclaimed, "how I hate it—and her!"
"Ugh!" she exclaimed, "I can't stand it—and her!"
It was a cheerless morning. The temperature had risen and a thick rain was falling. There was nothing to do out-of-doors so Nan remained within. It was Friday, and one of Delia's sweeping days. She was shut up in the draughty parlor with a mob-cap on her head "cleaning for dear life," as she expressed it. After a brief experience of the cold and discomfort of open windows and clouds of dust, Nan gave up trying to talk to Delia and wandered out of the parlor as disconsolately as she had wandered into it. By and by she heard Miss Blake's door open and close and saw the governess come forth, leave the house, and walk rapidly down the street. She turned in at the Newton's gate and disappeared behind the vestibule door. Nan had flown to the window to gaze after her.
It was a gloomy morning. The temperature had gone up, and heavy rain was pouring down. There was nothing to do outside, so Nan stayed indoors. It was Friday, one of Delia's cleaning days. She was shut up in the drafty living room with a mob-cap on her head, "cleaning for dear life," as she put it. After a brief stint of dealing with the cold, discomfort of open windows, and clouds of dust, Nan gave up trying to talk to Delia and wandered out of the living room as sadly as she had wandered in. Soon, she heard Miss Blake's door open and close, and she saw the governess come out, leave the house, and walk quickly down the street. She turned into the Newton's gate and disappeared behind the vestibule door. Nan rushed to the window to watch her go.
"Whatever can she want there," wondered the girl.
"What's she even doing there?" the girl wondered.
The question bothered her. She had not been able to get direct news of Ruth's condition because she had not dared inquire again after the way she had been treated, but in a round-about manner she had heard that the child had a fever.
The question troubled her. She hadn’t been able to get any updates on Ruth's condition because she didn’t want to ask again after how she was treated, but she had heard, through the grapevine, that the child had a fever.
"What fever?" she wondered. "Do people die of fever? If she dies will that be because I left her on the ground while I ran to get that milkman to help carry her home?"
"What fever?" she thought. "Do people really die from a fever? If she dies, will it be because I left her on the ground while I went to find that milkman to help carry her home?"
Miss Blake was not gone long, but it was luncheon-time when she returned.
Miss Blake wasn't gone for long, but it was lunchtime when she got back.
"Ah, good morning!" she said, pleasantly, to Nan, who happened to be in the hall. "I have pleasant news for you. Your little friend Ruth Newton is better, and her mamma says she would be grateful to you and me if we would come in once in a while and help her to amuse the poor child. Will you go with me to-morrow? Mrs. Newton said particularly that she hoped you would."
"Good morning!" she said cheerfully to Nan, who was in the hallway. "I have some good news for you. Your little friend Ruth Newton is feeling better, and her mom said she would really appreciate it if we could come by occasionally to help keep the poor child entertained. Will you come with me tomorrow? Mrs. Newton specifically mentioned that she hoped you would."
A curious expression flitted across Nan's face.
A curious look crossed Nan's face.
"Mrs. Newton hates me," she announced. "She doesn't want me to see Ruth."
"Mrs. Newton hates me," she said. "She doesn't want me to see Ruth."
Miss Blake drew off her gloves carefully.
Miss Blake took off her gloves carefully.
"I have explained certain matters to Mrs. Newton, Nan," she said, "and she is quite satisfied that she was partly mistaken in her judgment of you the other day. She says that she is willing to apologize for some of her accusations, and she has written you a little note. Now, come, and we will both go down to luncheon. I see Delia is here to tell us it is served."
"I talked to Mrs. Newton about some things, Nan," she said, "and she feels she might have been partly wrong in her judgment of you the other day. She says she's ready to apologize for some of her accusations, and she’s written you a little note. Now, come on, and we’ll head down to lunch together. I see Delia is here to let us know it's ready."
"She takes it for granted I'll go," thought Nan, and indeed she went quite willingly, and what was more, remained respectfully seated in her place until Miss Blake gave her permission to depart by rising herself.
"She just assumes I'll go," thought Nan, and in fact, she went along without hesitation, and what’s more, she stayed quietly in her seat until Miss Blake stood up and gave her permission to leave.
CHAPTER VI
WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS
"I think, Delia," said the governess, as Nan was about to go upstairs, "if you have an ax, or something of the sort, I'll try to unbox my bicycle."
"I think, Delia," said the governess, as Nan was about to go upstairs, "if you have an axe or something like that, I'll try to unpack my bicycle."
Nan came to an abrupt halt. Bicycle! The word went through her with an electric thrill, and sent her blood tingling. Then she dragged herself unwillingly away. What had she to do with the bicycle of a woman she hated.
Nan stopped suddenly. Bicycle! The word shot through her with an electric jolt, making her blood race. Then she reluctantly pulled herself away. What did she care about the bicycle of someone she despised?
"O Nan!" Miss Blake exclaimed, before the girl's lagging footsteps had carried her halfway up the staircase, "I'm sure your strong young arms can help us with this big elephant. Will you lend a hand?"
"O Nan!" Miss Blake exclaimed, before the girl's slow footsteps had taken her halfway up the stairs, "I'm sure your strong young arms can help us with this big elephant. Will you lend a hand?"
Now could the governess have suspected that that was precisely what Nan had been longing to do? But she could not have lingered unless she had been given the excuse by Miss Blake herself. Had the request been made to serve as that excuse?
Now could the governess have suspected that this was exactly what Nan had been eager to do? But she wouldn't have stayed unless Miss Blake herself had given her a reason. Was the request made to serve as that reason?
Nan did not stop to question. She came flinging down stairs, two steps at a time, and Miss Blake and Delia smiled above her head as she bent down, wrenching and tugging with her main strength at the boards and stubborn nails, too excited to know that half the force she used would have served her better.
Nan didn’t stop to think. She came rushing down the stairs, taking two steps at a time, while Miss Blake and Delia smiled at her from above as she leaned down, yanking and pulling with all her strength at the boards and stubborn nails, too excited to realize that using half the effort would have worked better.
"There! that's my bicycle!" announced Miss Blake, displaying the beautiful machine with the pride of a possessor, when the last stay had been unscrewed, and the slender wheel stood revealed in all the glory of its spotless nickel-plate and rubber tires.
"There! That's my bike!" exclaimed Miss Blake, showing off the beautiful machine with the pride of an owner, as the last screw had been removed and the sleek wheel was revealed in all its glory with its shiny nickel-plating and rubber tires.
Nan gazed at it in speechless admiration. It had been the dream of her life to own such a machine, but she had pleaded for one in vain. Mr. Turner had explained to her that what money he held in trust for her was no more than served to pay for her running expenses.
Nan stared at it in silent awe. It had been her lifelong dream to own such a machine, but she had begged for one in vain. Mr. Turner had told her that the money he managed for her was only enough to cover her living expenses.
"You know your father is not a rich man," he had said, "and lately he has met with losses. He wishes you to be brought up under home influences rather than at a boarding-school among strangers. He desires you to be well educated, and naturally all this costs. Your father is willing to make many sacrifices that you may be well provided for, but he is not able to indulge you in a matter like this of the bicycle. I wish I did not have to refuse you, but I think with him, that your most important need should be supplied first, and if after that little remains for mere indulgence, you must be satisfied. By and by you will see that his course is best, if you do not see it already."
"You know your dad isn't a wealthy man," he had said, "and recently he’s faced some losses. He wants you to grow up in a home environment instead of a boarding school with strangers. He wants you to get a good education, and that costs money. Your dad is willing to make many sacrifices to ensure you’re well taken care of, but he can't afford to buy you a bicycle right now. I wish I didn’t have to say no, but I agree with him that your most important needs should come first, and if there’s not much left for extras after that, you’ll have to be okay with it. Eventually, you'll see that his approach is the best one, even if you don't see it yet."
But Nan had never been able to feel that it was best that she should not have a bicycle. Now that the new governess had come and had proved so "horrid," she felt it still less. "Half the money she gets would buy me a first-rate safety," she had thought often and often and often, as she groaned over her father's perversity.
But Nan had never felt that it was right for her not to have a bike. Now that the new governess had arrived and turned out to be so "awful," she felt it even more. "Half the money she gets would buy me a top-notch safety bike," she had thought repeatedly as she sighed over her father's stubbornness.
But here was one of the wonderful affairs actually in the house, and if it did not belong to her, what of that? What was it the governess was just saying?
But here was one of the amazing things actually happening in the house, and if it didn’t belong to her, so what? What was the governess just saying?
"I am quite sure you could use this wheel if we should shift the saddle up a bit, that is, if you care to ride. As soon as the ground is clear I will teach you if you like."
"I’m pretty sure you could use this wheel if we raise the saddle a bit, that is, if you want to ride. As soon as the ground is clear, I can teach you if you’d like."
Nan's face was radiant. "Oh, I know how," she said. "I've practiced lots on—on—a person's I know. Only it wasn't a—a—girl's wheel. But I can ride."
Nan's face was glowing. "Oh, I know how," she said. "I've practiced a lot on—on—someone I know. It's just that it wasn't a—a—girl's bike. But I can ride."
Miss Blake was rubbing down the slender spokes with a piece of chamois skin.
Miss Blake was polishing the slender spokes with a piece of chamois leather.
"You are welcome to use mine, then," she said simply.
"You can use mine, then," she said casually.
Nan choked out a meagre "Thank you." It was not a gracious acknowledgment, but the governess accepted it, and really felt a glow of satisfaction in having called out even so much as an acceptance of her favor from her arbitrary young charge.
Nan managed to choke out a weak "Thank you." It wasn’t a sincere acknowledgment, but the governess accepted it and felt a sense of satisfaction in having elicited even that small recognition of her kindness from her difficult young charge.
"Small favors thankfully received," she thought with a smile at her own humility.
"Small favors thankfully received," she thought with a smile at her own modesty.
Nan stood leaning against the wall with her hands behind her, watching the manoeuvres of the leathern rag as it flashed up and down the nickel spokes and around and about the hubs, guided by the dexterous hand of the little governess.
Nan stood leaning against the wall with her hands behind her, watching the movements of the leather rag as it flashed up and down the nickel spokes and around the hubs, guided by the skillful hand of the little governess.
"Yes, I think we can pass many a jolly hour on this machine," resumed Miss Blake, "after the ground is clear of snow, and after we are clear of our lessons. We'll begin our studies on Monday, Nan. That will be commencing with the new week, and we must be very conscientious about our work before we indulge in any play."
"Yes, I think we can have a lot of fun with this machine," Miss Blake continued, "once the snow is gone and once we've finished our lessons. We'll start studying on Monday, Nan. That will kick off the new week, and we need to be really focused on our work before we start having any fun."
"There!" thought Nan, with a rush of antagonism, "I might have known she'd make some kind of a fuss before she'd let me use it. I guess she's sorry she promised in the first place, and wants to kind of back out of it. Oh, well, I might have known. Now she'll pile on lessons and things till there's no time for anything else. That's her way of getting out of it."
"There!" thought Nan, feeling frustrated, "I should have known she'd cause some kind of trouble before letting me use it. I bet she's regretting her promise and trying to back out. Oh well, I should have expected this. Now she'll load me up with lessons and stuff until there’s no time for anything else. That's her way of avoiding it."
But she made no comment. She stood kicking her heel against the surbase, silently watching the sparkling machine. Presently she turned and stalked upstairs without a word.
But she didn’t say anything. She stood, kicking her heel against the baseboard, quietly watching the sparkling machine. Eventually, she turned and walked upstairs without a word.
Delia gave Miss Blake an apologetic glance, but the governess composedly rose, and, stowing her property safely away against the closet wall, closed the door upon it and with a kind word to the woman beside her went upstairs as though nothing had happened.
Delia shot Miss Blake an apologetic look, but the governess calmly got up, safely tucked her belongings against the closet wall, shut the door, and, with a kind word to the woman next to her, went upstairs as if nothing had occurred.
She knew what was in Nan's mind. She could read it as distinctly as if the sudden wrinkles on her forehead and the quick set of her obstinate jaw had been printed text.
She knew what Nan was thinking. She could read it clearly, as if the sudden wrinkles on her forehead and the firm set of her stubborn jaw were written words.
"Poor child!" thought the governess, "how she hates study and—me. How she rebels against restraint. So she thinks I am trying to take back my word. No wonder that makes her furious."
"Poor kid!" thought the governess, "how much she hates studying and—me. How she fights against rules. So she thinks I’m trying to go back on my promise. No surprise that makes her so angry."
She went into her room and closed the door, but after a moment she came back and opened it again.
She went into her room and closed the door, but after a moment she came back and opened it again.
"Nan might feel shut out," she said to herself, and so she left it standing invitingly ajar that in case the girl cared to come in she would not have to knock. She smiled to herself as she did it. She knew well enough Nan would not care to come in. "Still there might be a chance!"—she left the door open on the chance.
"Nan might feel excluded," she said to herself, so she left the door invitingly ajar so that if the girl wanted to come in, she wouldn't have to knock. She smiled to herself as she did it. She knew very well that Nan probably wouldn’t want to come in. "But there might be a chance!"—she left the door open just in case.
The more Nan thought of Delia's baseness the more she inwardly raged against it. She sat in her own room with her feet over the register and munched caramels and nursed her grievance all the afternoon. Delia was miserable. She had tried by every means in her power to win at least a look from the girl, but all her attempts were repelled and she was treated with an overbearance that cut her to the quick. At last she could stand it no longer. She left her work and went upstairs "to have it out with Nan" and be done with it.
The more Nan thought about Delia's awful behavior, the more she felt angry about it. She sat in her room with her feet propped up on the heater, munching on caramels and nursing her grievance all afternoon. Delia was feeling very down. She tried everything she could to get at least a glance from Nan, but every effort was rejected, and she was met with a harshness that really hurt her. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She left her work and went upstairs "to confront Nan" and put an end to it.
She knocked repeatedly at her bedroom door, but the girl obstinately refused to utter the word of admittance. Delia was not to be daunted, however, by this, and at last, turning the knob, she walked boldly in and confronted Nan squarely.
She knocked repeatedly on her bedroom door, but the girl stubbornly refused to say a word to let her in. Delia wasn't going to be discouraged, though, and finally, she turned the doorknob, walked in confidently, and faced Nan directly.
"See here, Nan," she began without waiting, "I want to know what's the matter with you that you treat me so? Me that has waited on you hand and foot and tended you night and day since you was a little baby?"
"Listen, Nan," she started without pausing, "I want to know what's wrong with you that you treat me like this? I've been there for you, looking after you day and night since you were a little baby."
The girl did not deign to raise her eyes from her book—or else they were so rapidly filling with tears that she did not dare to do so.
The girl didn’t even bother to look up from her book—or maybe her eyes were welling up with tears so quickly that she didn’t want to.
Delia gulped. "Can't you answer a civil question?" she faltered, trying to be firm and failing utterly.
Delia swallowed hard. "Can't you respond to a simple question?" she hesitated, attempting to sound assertive but completely failing.
Nan cast her book to the floor and sprang up to face the woman with blazing cheeks and eyes that flashed angry fire.
Nan threw her book onto the floor and jumped up to confront the woman with burning cheeks and eyes that sparkled with anger.
"You'd better ask me what's the matter, Delia Connor!" she burst out in a trembling voice. "As if you didn't know! Do you s'pose I'll bear everything? It's bad enough—your being such an awful turn-coat! You went over to her side the first thing, and every time she bosses me you just stand there and let her do it and never say a word. You let her order me about like everything and never stand up for me a bit. Her—a perfect stranger! Somebody you never saw in all your life before! But that isn't the worst of it! Do you s'pose I'm going to stand your coming to my door and listening at the key-hole when I was rehearsing and then going and telling on me—telling her all I was going to do to her, I'd like to know? You just wanted to get on the right side of her, and it was the meanest thing I ever heard of in all my life. You came and peeked at me when I was rehearsing and then went and told her, and I s'pose you both laughed and had a fine time over it. You thought you were very smart, didn't you? But you got there too soon, Delia Connor, for I had made up my mind I wouldn't do it, so there! But now you've both been so mean, I don't care who knows what I was going to do. I hope you told her that I don't want her here. I hope you told her every bit of that thing I learned by heart on purpose to recite to her. I hope you repeated every word of it. It's true and I hope she knows it. I hope—"
"You better ask me what's wrong, Delia Connor!" she exclaimed in a shaky voice. "As if you didn't already know! Do you think I can just put up with everything? It's bad enough that you're being such a total traitor! You went over to her side right away, and every time she bosses me around, you just stand there and let her do it without saying a word. You let her treat me like I'm nothing and never defend me at all. Her—a complete stranger! Someone you've never met in your life! But that's not even the worst part! Do you really think I'm okay with you coming to my door and eavesdropping when I was rehearsing and then going and telling her everything I was planning to do? You just wanted to get on her good side, and that's the meanest thing I've ever heard of. You came and spied on me while I was rehearsing and then went and told her, and I bet you both laughed and had a great time about it. You thought you were being clever, didn’t you? But you got there too early, Delia Connor, because I had already decided I wasn't going to do it, so there! But now that you both have been so awful, I don't care who knows what I was planning. I hope you told her that I don’t want her around. I hope you told her every single word of that piece I memorized just to recite to her. I hope you repeated every bit of it. It's true, and I hope she knows it. I hope—"
"For the land's sake, Nan, do be still," broke out Delia at last after a dozen futile attempts to stem the tide of the girl's anger. "I didn't listen nor peek nor anything, and you scream so loud she'll hear every word you say. You—now be quiet and let me speak—you walked in your sleep last night. You went into her room and said off a whole lot of balderdash to her—enough to set her against you for the rest of her life—if she ever finds out you really meant it."
"For heaven's sake, Nan, please be quiet," Delia finally snapped after trying a dozen times to calm the girl's anger. "I didn't listen or sneak a peek or anything, and you’re shouting so loudly she’ll hear every word you say. You—now just let me finish—walked in your sleep last night. You went into her room and talked a bunch of nonsense to her—enough to make her hold a grudge against you for the rest of her life—if she ever finds out you actually meant it."
Nan gave Delia an imploring, frightened look.
Nan gave Delia a pleading, scared look.
"Delia," she gasped, breathlessly, "do you—do you think she heard?"
"Delia," she said, out of breath, "do you—do you think she heard?"
Delia shook her head.
Delia shook her head.
"Couldn't say for the life of me," she replied. "Her door may have been open when I came up; I didn't notice."
"Honestly, I couldn't tell you," she said. "Her door might have been open when I got here; I didn't see it."
Nan looked the picture of dismay. "Wait a minute!—I'll go see!" she whispered earnestly, and tip-toed noiselessly into the hall. A second later she returned, radiant with reassurance.
Nan looked completely distressed. "Hold on!—I'll go check!" she whispered seriously, and quietly tiptoed into the hall. A moment later, she came back, beaming with confidence.
"Her door is tight shut, and she's making so much noise inside her room she couldn't possibly have heard. Sounds as if she was dragging trunks around or something."
"Her door is firmly shut, and she's making so much noise inside her room that she couldn't have possibly heard. It sounds like she's dragging trunks around or something."
"Perhaps she's packing to go 'way," suggested Delia, with a grain of malice.
"Maybe she's getting ready to leave," Delia suggested, with a hint of malice.
Nan fairly jumped with—well, if it wasn't joy it was something equally as moving in its way. "Oh, no, no!" she cried, in a sudden fever of excitement. "I don't want her to leave—like that. Just think how awful it would be to have her leave—like that! Can't you go to her and say I'm—you're good friends with her. Delia, won't you please go and tell her I didn't really mean to say off that speech at her. I learned it before she came, and I meant to recite it, but when I found that she was different—so little and kind of—different, I thought it would be mean to do it, and I gave it up. Do go and tell her, Delia, please, and oh, won't you hurry?"
Nan practically jumped with—well, if it wasn't joy, it was something just as strong in its own way. "Oh, no, no!" she cried, in a sudden rush of excitement. "I don’t want her to leave—like that. Just think how awful it would be for her to leave—like that! Can't you go to her and say I'm—you're good friends with her. Delia, please go and tell her I didn’t really mean to say that speech at her. I learned it before she arrived, and I meant to recite it, but when I saw that she was different—so little and kind of—different, I thought it would be mean to do it, so I gave it up. Please go and tell her, Delia, and oh, won’t you hurry?"
"Now see here, Nan," interposed the woman. "Our best plan is to wait and see what she is going to do. If she hasn't heard, it's all right, and telling her would only put the fat in the fire. On the other hand, if she has heard and is packing up to go 'way, why, it wouldn't do much good, I'm afraid, to try to stop her. With all being such a lady and so gentle in her ways, she's got a mind of her own—I can see that—and you won't be like to get her to change it. But she'll tell you good-bye before she leaves, she's too much of a lady not to, no matter how she feels, and then you can say your say, and I promise you faithful I'll back you up."
"Now listen, Nan," the woman said. "The best thing we can do is wait and see what she plans to do. If she hasn't heard anything, that's fine, and telling her would only make things worse. On the other hand, if she has heard and is getting ready to leave, it probably won't do much good to try to stop her. Even though she’s such a lady and is so gentle, she has her own mind—I can tell that—and you probably won't be able to change it. But she'll definitely say good-bye before she leaves; she's too much of a lady not to, no matter how she feels. Then you can speak your mind, and I promise I'll support you."
Nan saw the wisdom of Delia's counsel, and tried to content herself to wait. But the suspense of every minute was awful, and she felt herself growing frenzied under the strain. After a time the commotion in the next room ceased, and all was quiet as the grave. "She's getting on her hat now," gasped Nan. "She'll go away and think I'm a heathen and all sorts of horrid things. And she hasn't got any friends or folks of her own, and no house to go to but this. And I s'pose she's awfully poor, because she wouldn't be a governess if she wasn't, and oh, dear! I don't want to have any one be a beggar, and turned out of the only roof they've got over their heads on my account. That's what makes me feel so bad, Delia. That's the only thing. If she will go on her own account I'll—I'll be glad, but—oh, she mustn't go this way!"
Nan recognized the wisdom in Delia's advice and tried to convince herself to wait. But the suspense of each passing minute was unbearable, and she felt herself getting frantic under the pressure. After a while, the noise in the next room stopped, and everything went silent as a tomb. "She's putting on her hat now," Nan exclaimed breathlessly. "She's going to leave and think I'm a terrible person and all sorts of awful things. And she doesn’t have any friends or family, and no home to go to except this one. I guess she's really poor, because she wouldn't be a governess if she weren't, and oh, no! I don’t want anyone to be in such a bad situation, forced out of the only place they have over my actions. That’s what makes me feel so terrible, Delia. That’s the only thing. If she leaves of her own choice, I’ll— I’ll be okay, but—oh, she can’t leave like this!"
Delia turned away her face to hide a smile.
Delia turned her face away to hide a smile.
"There's nothing to do but wait," she insisted. "If I go in there and tell her, and she hasn't heard, why it would only give you away; don't you see?"
"There's nothing to do but wait," she insisted. "If I go in there and tell her, and she hasn't heard, it would just expose you; don't you see?"
Nan let herself down in her rocking-chair with a dismal drop. "O dear!" she cried, "I never saw anything like it! The way things go wrong in this house! It's just perfectly horrid! I wish I was with my father, I do so! I guess it's nicer in India than it is here, anyway; and I'm sick and tired of living cooped up in this old stuffy place. So there!"
Nan let herself down in her rocking chair with a heavy sigh. "Oh dear!" she exclaimed, "I've never seen anything like this! Everything goes wrong in this house! It's absolutely terrible! I really wish I was with my dad! I guess it's nicer in India than it is here; I'm just so fed up with living cooped up in this old, stuffy place. There!"
Delia dusted some imaginary dust off the table with the corner of her apron, and went down stairs to finish up her work.
Delia wiped away some imaginary dust from the table with the edge of her apron and went downstairs to wrap up her work.
In the street below the huckster was yelling "Chestnuts! Fresh-roasted chestnuts!" The little charcoal oven in his push-cart sent out a shrill, continuous whistle, and Nan had an impulse to throw something at him. What business had he to come here and make such a racket that she couldn't hear what was going on in the next room. He passed slowly down the street, his call and the whistle of his oven growing fainter and fainter, and finally fading quite away as he disappeared in the distance. Nan pricked up her ears. Surely the sounds she heard were those of moving feet in the next room. Back and forth they went, now nearer, that was to the closet, now further away again, that must be to the bureau. What could the governess be doing? The lid of her trunk was dropped, and Nan could distinctly hear the click of the catches as they fell in place. There was no further doubt about it! Miss Blake was going. A moment later, and before Nan could collect her wits, the door of the next room was briskly opened and closed, and the governess, hatted and cloaked, sped quickly from the house.
In the street below, the vendor was shouting, "Chestnuts! Fresh-roasted chestnuts!" The small charcoal oven in his cart let out a loud, continuous whistle, and Nan felt the urge to throw something at him. What right did he have to come here and make such a noise that she couldn’t hear what was happening in the next room? He slowly moved down the street, his call and the whistle of his oven growing quieter and quieter until finally disappearing into the distance. Nan perked up her ears. Surely the sounds she heard were footsteps in the next room. They moved back and forth, now closer to the closet, now further away, probably by the bureau. What could the governess be doing? The lid of her trunk had been dropped, and Nan could clearly hear the clicks of the catches locking into place. There was no longer any doubt! Miss Blake was leaving. A moment later, before Nan could gather her thoughts, the door to the next room opened and closed quickly, and the governess, wearing her hat and cloak, hurried out of the house.
Nan flew to the balusters with a hasty cry upon her lips, but was just in time to see the door swing heavily to; and that was all. She flung herself down stairs two steps at a time.
Nan rushed to the railings with a quick cry on her lips, but just managed to see the door close with a loud thud; and that was it. She raced down the stairs, taking two steps at a time.
"There now, Delia Connor," she cried, bursting into the kitchen with such vehemence that the very tins rattled on their shelves. "There, now! What did I tell you? She's gone—Miss Blake's gone. Trunks packed—! Everything's packed! She'll send men to get them. She's gone clean off. I told you what it would be, and you wouldn't go and speak to her. And now my father will be disgraced, and Mr. Turner will blame me, and—it's all your fault, and I'll tell my father; so there!"
"There now, Delia Connor," she exclaimed, bursting into the kitchen with such intensity that the tins rattled on their shelves. "See! What did I tell you? Miss Blake is gone. Her trunks are packed—everything’s ready! She’ll send guys to pick them up. She’s completely out of her mind. I warned you what would happen, and you wouldn’t go talk to her. Now my dad will be embarrassed, and Mr. Turner will blame me, and—it's all your fault, and I’m going to tell my dad; so there!"
Delia's face paled suddenly. She set her lips together tight.
Delia's face suddenly went pale. She pressed her lips together tightly.
"It's well you have some one to lay the blame on, child!" she said shortly, and went upstairs without another word. Nan did not care to follow her into the governess' room, but stood outside and waited to hear her verdict when she should have examined the premises.
"It's good you have someone to blame, kid!" she said curtly and went upstairs without saying anything else. Nan didn't want to follow her into the governess's room, so she stood outside and waited to hear her judgment after she had checked things out.
"Well?" asked the girl, eagerly, as soon as she came out.
"Well?" the girl asked eagerly as soon as she stepped outside.
"Her trunk's shut and locked, that's certain!"
"Her trunk is closed and locked, that's for sure!"
"Then she's gone for good!"
"Then she's gone for good!"
"She's gone. There ain't a doubt about that!"
"She's gone. There's no doubt about that!"
"You said she would surely say good-bye, Delia Connor, you know you did. You said no matter how she felt, she was such a lady she'd be certain to say good-bye!"
"You said she would definitely say good-bye, Delia Connor, you know you did. You said no matter how she felt, she was such a lady she'd be sure to say good-bye!"
"Well, and I really thought so. I believe now she'd have said good-bye, if—"
"Well, I honestly thought so. I believe now she would have said goodbye, if—"
"If I hadn't been such a—brat? Say it right out, Delia! You mean it and you might as well say what you think," broke in the girl bitterly.
"If I hadn't been such a— brat? Just say it, Delia! You mean it, so you might as well just say what you think," the girl interrupted bitterly.
Delia turned on her heel and stalked grimly down stairs. A second later she heard a rush of flying feet behind her, and the next moment two arms were locked about her neck.
Delia pivoted and walked downstairs with determination. A moment later, she heard the sound of running feet behind her, and the next thing she knew, two arms were wrapped around her neck.
"Poor old Delia," cried Nan, in one of her sudden bursts of remorse. "I'm the horridest girl that ever lived! I know it as well as you do, and if you weren't the patientest thing in the world you wouldn't stand it for a minute. But don't you go away from me too, Delia! Please don't! Honest Injun, I'll try to behave! Cross my heart I will. And I tell you this much, I feel just awfully about Miss Blake. I shouldn't wonder a bit but it would snow tonight, and she hasn't a place to go and no money, and—O dear! I feel like a person that ought to be in jail!"
"Poor Delia," Nan exclaimed, in one of her sudden moments of guilt. "I'm the worst girl ever! I know it just as well as you do, and if you weren't the most patient person in the world, you wouldn't put up with me for a second. But please don’t leave me too, Delia! Please don’t! I promise, I’ll try to be better! Cross my heart, I will. And I have to tell you, I feel really terrible about Miss Blake. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it snowed tonight, and she has nowhere to go and no money, and—oh dear! I feel like someone who should be in jail!"
Delia extricated herself gently from the clinging arms. "What makes you think Miss Blake's as poverty-stricken as that?" she asked.
Delia carefully pulled away from the tight embrace. "What makes you think Miss Blake is as broke as that?" she asked.
"Oh, I don't know," responded the girl. "But I just feel she is. And she is so little too. She looked so glad to get into this house that I guess she never had much of a place to stay before."
"Oh, I don’t know," the girl replied. "But I just feel like she is. And she’s so tiny too. She looked so happy to be in this house that I guess she hasn’t had much of a place to stay before."
"She don't dress like a person that's next-door to a beggar," mused Delia.
"She doesn't dress like someone who's just a step away from being a beggar," Delia thought.
"No, she doesn't. She has really pretty things, hasn't she? But I guess they're made over and cast-off, or something. Maybe the lady she lived with last gave them to her?" speculated Nan.
"No, she doesn't. She has some really nice things, doesn't she? But I guess they're hand-me-downs or something. Maybe the lady she lived with last gave them to her?" Nan wondered.
"Maybe she did," said Delia.
"Maybe she did," Delia said.
The two made their way slowly down to the kitchen. It was beginning to grow dark and the dinner must be prepared.
The two made their way slowly down to the kitchen. It was starting to get dark, and dinner needed to be prepared.
"I never in all my life saw such little hands and feet," the girl pursued. "And she's dreadfully particular about them. There's never a speck on her fingers that she doesn't run right up and scrub them, and she wears the cunningest slippers I ever saw."
"I've never seen such tiny hands and feet in my life," the girl continued. "And she's really fussy about them. There's never a smudge on her fingers that she doesn't rush to scrub off, and she wears the cutest slippers I've ever seen."
"I guess she comes of nice folks," said Delia, as she began to peel the potatoes.
"I guess she comes from good people," said Delia, as she started to peel the potatoes.
"Wonder why she doesn't stay with them then?" put in Nan.
"Wonder why she doesn't stick with them then?" Nan chimed in.
"Perhaps they're dead."
"Maybe they’re dead."
Nan pondered. Her own motherless life had given her a very tender sympathy for those whose "folks" were dead. For the first time she felt sorry for Miss Blake. She was uneasy and distressed. It made her shift about uncomfortably in her chair.
Nan thought about it. Her own life without a mother made her feel deeply sympathetic toward those whose families had passed away. For the first time, she felt sorry for Miss Blake. She felt uneasy and distressed, which made her shift uncomfortably in her chair.
"Goodness me!" she ejaculated impatiently at last, and then one of her wild impulses took possession of her and she ran frantically up into her own room and flung on her coat and hat.
"Goodness gracious!" she exclaimed impatiently at last, and then one of her wild instincts took over, and she rushed frantically up to her room and threw on her coat and hat.
"The whole thing's as plain as preaching. Why didn't I think of it before?" she said to herself, with a shake of impatience. "Mr. Turner told Miss Blake if she was worried or anything to go to him. She hasn't any money, and she's left here, so of course that's where she is. I'll go and bring her back."
"The whole thing is as obvious as can be. Why didn’t I think of it sooner?" she said to herself, shaking her head in frustration. "Mr. Turner told Miss Blake that if she was worried or anything, she could come to him. She doesn’t have any money, and she’s left this place, so of course that’s where she is. I’ll go get her and bring her back."
The front door opened and shut with a bang, and Nan was out in the street alone. As she scudded down the pavement the electric lights suddenly gleamed out pale and vivid from their lofty globes, and sent wavering shadows flashing across her path.
The front door banged open and shut, and Nan was out on the street by herself. As she hurried down the sidewalk, the electric lights suddenly flickered on, glowing pale and bright from their high globes, casting moving shadows across her path.
"It's pretty late and it'll be dark as a pocket in a little while," thought she; but that did not detain her, and she raced on, putting block after block between her and home in her ardor to make reparation and to lighten her heart of its weight of compunction.
"It's pretty late, and it's going to be as dark as a pocket soon," she thought; but that didn't hold her back, and she sped on, putting block after block between herself and home in her eagerness to make things right and to ease her heart of its burden of guilt.
CHAPTER VII
OPEN CONFESSION
Nan knew the way to Mr. Turner's house perfectly, though she had not been able to give Mrs. Newton the street and number. She was observing and clear-headed, and could have been trusted to find her way about the entire city alone, but her father had often cautioned Delia and the girl herself against putting her power to the test, and so it happened that until now she had never been any considerable distance away from home after twilight without a companion. The way was perfectly familiar to her—but it had never seemed so interminably long. She could have taken a car, but in her haste to get off she had forgotten her pocketbook. She saw the "trolleys" fly past her in quick succession, and it seemed to her they whizzed jeeringly at her as they sped. She was by nature so fearless that even if the street had not been thronged she would not have been afraid. As it was she was only alarmed lest she would get to Mr. Turner's and find Miss Blake gone.
Nan knew exactly how to get to Mr. Turner's house, even though she couldn't tell Mrs. Newton the street name and number. She was observant and level-headed, and could easily have navigated the whole city by herself, but her dad had often warned both Delia and her not to test that ability. Because of this, she had never gone far from home alone after dark. The route was completely familiar to her—but it had never felt so endlessly long. She could have taken a bus, but in her rush to leave, she forgot her wallet. She watched the trolleys zoom past her one after another, and it felt like they were mocking her as they sped by. By nature, she was so brave that even if the street had been crowded, she wouldn't have been scared. As it was, she was only worried that she'd arrive at Mr. Turner's and find Miss Blake gone.
She hurried on breathlessly, fairly skipping with impatience and wondering what explanation she could give the lawyer in case the governess had not told him the real reason of her departure. Somehow it flashed into Nan's mind that Miss Blake would not expose her. She was busied with this reflection as she turned off the broad, well-lighted thoroughfare into the dimmer side-street upon which Mr. Turner lived, and she ran up the steps of his house with the question still unsettled. It was not a moment before the door was opened to her and she was admitted to the warm, luxuriously furnished drawing-room. It was Nan's ideal of a house: "all full of curtains and soft carpets and beautiful things." She seated herself before the burning log-fire with a sensation of deep well-being—only it was a little over-shadowed by her worry about the governess.
She rushed on breathlessly, almost skipping with impatience and wondering what excuse she could give the lawyer if the governess hadn’t told him the real reason for her leaving. Somehow it occurred to Nan that Miss Blake wouldn’t betray her. She was preoccupied with this thought as she turned off the wide, well-lit street into the dimmer side street where Mr. Turner lived, and she hurried up the steps of his house with that question still unresolved. It was just a moment before the door opened for her and she was welcomed into the warm, elegantly furnished living room. It was Nan’s idea of a perfect home: “full of curtains and soft carpets and beautiful things.” She settled herself in front of the blazing log fire, feeling a deep sense of well-being—though it was slightly overshadowed by her concern for the governess.
"Well, my little lady, and what brings you here at this time of day?" was Mr. Turner's greeting, as he strode across the room to meet her.
"Well, my little lady, what brings you here at this time of day?" was Mr. Turner's greeting as he walked across the room to meet her.
"O Mr. Turner!" began Nan, bluntly, "I came to see you about Miss Blake. I want to know—I wonder if you—"
"O Mr. Turner!" Nan started, straightforwardly, "I came to talk to you about Miss Blake. I want to know—I’m curious if you—"
"Indeed! And how is that charming lady? You must tell her I had hoped to see her before this, but I have been unusually busy, and every moment has been taken up. Now tell me, isn't it as I said? Hasn't she completely won your heart? Aha! I see she has! I see she has!"
"Absolutely! And how is that lovely lady? You should let her know that I was hoping to see her before now, but I’ve been really busy, and every moment has been booked. Now tell me, isn’t it just as I said? Hasn’t she totally captured your heart? Aha! I can see that she has! I can see that she has!"
Nan flushed and stammered, and did not reply. Inwardly, she was in a turmoil. Either Miss Blake had not come here at all or the lawyer was trying to baffle her. And if Miss Blake had not come here, then where was she? A sort of dumb terror took hold of the girl and shook her from head to foot.
Nan blushed and stumbled over her words, unable to respond. Inside, she was a mess of emotions. Either Miss Blake hadn't shown up at all, or the lawyer was trying to confuse her. And if Miss Blake really wasn't here, then where could she be? A kind of mute fear gripped the girl, shaking her from head to toe.
"You see I was right," pursued the lawyer, cheerfully. "I knew you would surrender to her the first thing. Every one does. I think I never knew any one who was more universally loved. Now, how can I help you, my dear? Give you some extra pin-money to buy Miss Blake a Christmas present, eh? Is that it?"
"You see, I was right," continued the lawyer, happily. "I knew you would give in to her right away. Everyone does. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was more universally loved. Now, how can I help you, my dear? Do you need some extra cash to buy Miss Blake a Christmas present, huh? Is that it?"
Nan caught at the suggestion eagerly as being a way out of her difficulty, and nodded a gulping assent.
Nan seized the suggestion eagerly, seeing it as a way out of her trouble, and nodded with a gulp of agreement.
"Well, you needn't have traveled all this distance for such a simple matter, my dear," he assured her genially. "And after dark, too! A note would have served, you know; a note would have served. But I'm glad you like her so well, and you shall have the money at once. Your father would be delighted I am sure."
"Well, you didn't have to come all this way for something so simple, my dear," he said kindly. "And at night, too! A note would have been enough, you know; a note would have worked. But I'm glad you care for her so much, and you'll get the money right away. Your father would be thrilled, I'm sure."
It was only after Nan had been gone some time that Mr. Turner remembered with a start that she was alone and that it was night. It was too late then to overtake her, so he had to resign himself with the thought that the girl was admirably self-reliant, and that her way lay almost entirely along well-lit and busy avenues.
It was only after Nan had been gone for a while that Mr. Turner suddenly realized she was alone and that it was nighttime. By then, it was too late to catch up with her, so he had to accept that the girl was impressively independent and that her path mostly followed well-lit and busy streets.
The thought of danger did not occupy Nan for a moment. Her only fear now was for the governess. If she wasn't at Mr. Turner's, then where was she? She asked herself this question over and over again. The girl blushed as she thought of the untruth she had been guilty of in implying that the lawyer's suggestion had been her motive in coming to him. She sharpened her pace, as if to outstrip the memory of her misdeed, but it, with her other worry, seemed to pursue her, and presently her imagination so quickened at the thought that she actually fancied she heard some one behind keeping step with her. She broke into a brisk run. Clap! clap! came the sound of hastening feet behind her. With a sort of tortured courage she slackened her pace. Whatever was following her also took a slower gait. She cast a furtive look over her shoulder and gave a horrified gasp as her eyes squarely encountered two other eyes, which were fixed upon her own in an insulting leer from beneath the rim of a rakish felt hat which was worn tilted on the side of a very unprepossessing head. The eyes, bad as they were, proved the best feature in a thoroughly vicious face, and for the first time in her life Nan felt frightened—chokingly frightened. She would have rushed on, but a stealthy hand held her back.
The thought of danger didn’t cross Nan's mind for a second. Her only concern now was for the governess. If she wasn’t at Mr. Turner’s, then where could she be? She kept asking herself this over and over. The girl blushed as she recalled the lie she had told by suggesting that the lawyer’s advice had motivated her to come to him. She quickened her pace, trying to outrun the memory of her wrongdoing, but it, along with her other worry, seemed to chase after her. Soon, her imagination began to race at the thought, and she almost imagined she heard someone matching her step behind her. She broke into a brisk run. Clap! clap! went the sound of hurried footsteps behind her. With a sort of tortured bravery, she slowed down. Whatever was following her matched her slower pace. She stole a glance over her shoulder and gasped in horror as her eyes locked onto two other eyes, leering at her from beneath the brim of a tilted felt hat, perched on a very unattractive head. Though the eyes were unsettling, they were the best feature of a completely vicious face, and for the first time in her life, Nan felt scared—deeply scared. She would have sprinted away, but a stealthy hand grabbed her, holding her back.
"Don't try to run away from me, little lady!" said an unsteady voice in her ear in a tone that was intended to seem engaging. "Don't try to run away from me, if you please. I wouldn't hurt you for the world, no, indeed."
"Don't try to run away from me, little lady!" said an unsteady voice in her ear in a way that was supposed to sound charming. "Please, don't try to run away from me. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything, not at all."
Nan shook herself free from the disgusting touch and hurried on without a word. Her hateful shadow kept abreast with her.
Nan shook off the disgusting touch and hurried on without saying a word. Her loathsome shadow kept pace with her.
"You ain't afraid of me, are you?" he asked reproachfully.
"You aren't afraid of me, are you?" he asked, looking disappointed.
Nan made no response. Her feet seemed to cling to the pavement. Every time she lifted one it was with an effort.
Nan didn't say anything. Her feet felt like they were stuck to the pavement. Every time she lifted one, it took a lot of effort.
"Oh, come now," whined the voice in her ear, "don't go on like this. I ain't going to hurt you. I'm only a poor man who would be grateful for a penny or two. By the way, where's your pocket-book?"
"Oh, come on," whined the voice in her ear, "don't go on like this. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just a poor guy who would appreciate a penny or two. By the way, where's your wallet?"
Nan leaped suddenly aside, and as she did so she missed her footing, and a cry of pain burst from her lips. A sharp pang shot from her ankle to her knee, and when she tried to take another step she found the darting agony returned. But stop she could not. Her face grew gray and lined with misery as she dragged forward, saving her injured ankle as much as she could, but always having to torture it intolerably with every onward limp. Her persecutor caught up with her promptly, and she cast beseeching looks for deliverance on every side, which the hurrying, preoccupied crowd was too intent on its own affairs to see. If only she could see a policeman! She knew what she would do. She would make believe she was going past him and then suddenly veer about and say, "Officer, this man is annoying me!" and before he had time to realize what she had done the rowdy would be arrested. But no policeman was in sight, and her fine scheme could not be carried out. Suddenly in the midst of her agony of mind and body her heart gave a wild bound of unspeakable relief.
Nan suddenly jumped aside, but as she did, she lost her balance, and a cry of pain escaped her lips. A sharp pain shot from her ankle to her knee, and when she tried to take another step, the intense pain returned. But she couldn’t stop. Her face turned gray and lined with misery as she dragged herself forward, trying to protect her injured ankle as much as possible, but having to torture it with every painful step. Her pursuer quickly caught up with her, and she cast desperate looks for help in every direction, but the rushing, preoccupied crowd was too focused on their own business to notice. If only she could see a police officer! She knew exactly what she would do. She would pretend to walk past him and then suddenly turn around and say, "Officer, this guy is bothering me!" and before he had time to figure out what was happening, the troublemaker would be arrested. But no police officer was in sight, and her clever plan couldn’t be put into action. Suddenly, in the middle of her mental and physical agony, her heart leaped with an overwhelming sense of relief.
"Miss Blake! Miss Blake!" she almost shrieked.
"Miss Blake! Miss Blake!" she nearly shouted.
"Nan!"
"Grandma!"
The little governess was beside her in a flash, her own face almost as white and seamed as the girl's.
The young governess was right there with her, her own face nearly as pale and lined as the girl's.

The little governess was beside her.
"O Miss Blake! this man—make him go away; make some one send him away. He's annoying me—and my foot!"
"O Miss Blake! Please make this man leave; have someone send him away. He’s bothering me—and my foot!"
The governess grew if possible a shade paler. "What man?" she demanded sharply, "Where?"
The governess became even paler if possible. "What man?" she asked sharply, "Where?"
Nan could not speak. She indicated with a mute gesture. Miss Blake looked behind her, but if there had actually been such a man as the girl described he must certainly have taken to his heels. They were standing alone in the midst of the hurrying crowd.
Nan couldn't speak. She pointed with a silent gesture. Miss Blake glanced behind her, but if there had actually been a man like the girl described, he must have definitely run away. They stood alone in the middle of the bustling crowd.
"O Nan!" cried the governess, not stopping to argue the question, "where have you been? Delia and I have been frantic with worry. She is out now hunting for you. She went one way and I another."
"O Nan!" shouted the governess, not pausing to debate the issue, "where have you been? Delia and I have been so worried. She's out looking for you right now. She went one way, and I went another."
Nan could not reply. The torture in her ankle grew fiercer with every movement. She shook her head silently and limped on.
Nan couldn't respond. The pain in her ankle intensified with every step. She silently shook her head and continued to limp forward.
"You are hurt! You are in pain!" cried Miss Blake, now for the first time really realizing her condition.
"You’re hurt! You’re in pain!" yelled Miss Blake, now truly understanding her situation for the first time.
Nan nodded dumbly.
Nan nodded silently.
"Take my arm; no, lean on my shoulder! There, that's better! Bear down as hard as you can and use me as your crutch! I'm strong. I won't give out."
"Take my arm; no, lean on my shoulder! There, that's better! Put all your weight on me and use me as your crutch! I'm strong. I won't let you down."
And a right good support she proved. Happily they were but a stone's throw from home, and it was not long before Nan was comfortably settled on the library lounge, luxuriously surrounded by all sorts of downy cushions and having her injured ankle bound in soothing cloths by the tenderest of hands. Delia, full of sympathy and the desire to help, was bustling about nervously, tripping over bandages and upsetting bottles of liniment, but meaning so well all the while that one could not discourage her.
And she turned out to be a great support. Luckily, they were just a short walk from home, and it didn't take long before Nan was comfortably settled on the library couch, surrounded by all kinds of soft cushions, with her injured ankle wrapped in soothing cloths by the gentlest hands. Delia, full of sympathy and eager to help, was nervously bustling around, tripping over bandages and knocking over bottles of liniment, but she meant well the whole time, making it hard to discourage her.
"It is only a strain. You have turned your ankle badly and the muscles have been wrenched, but I don't think it is an actual sprain," said Miss Blake, consolingly. "However, if the pain is still bad to-morrow, we'll have a doctor in to look at it. Do you still have Dr. Milbank, Delia?"
"It’s just a strain. You’ve twisted your ankle pretty badly and some muscles are strained, but I don’t think it’s a real sprain," Miss Blake said reassuringly. "However, if the pain is still bad tomorrow, we’ll get a doctor to check it out. Do you still have Dr. Milbank, Delia?"
Nan sat bolt upright with surprise.
Nan sat straight up in shock.
"How funny!" she cried. "However in the world did you know Dr. Milbank was our doctor? Why, we've had him for years and years. Ever since I was born and before, too. But how could you know?"
"How funny!" she exclaimed. "How on earth did you know Dr. Milbank was our doctor? We've had him for years and years. Ever since I was born and even before that. But how could you possibly know?"
Delia hurried out of the room muttering something about the dinner, and Miss Blake bent her head over the bandage she was rolling.
Delia rushed out of the room mumbling something about dinner, and Miss Blake lowered her head over the bandage she was rolling.
"He lives so near," she replied haltingly.
"He lives really close," she answered hesitantly.
"I've seen his sign often as I passed and—and—perhaps that is why I thought he might be your physician. He's so convenient—within call. It is hard to tell what makes one jump at conclusions sometimes."
"I've seen his sign a lot as I walked by—and maybe that's why I thought he could be your doctor. He's really convenient—just a call away. It's tough to figure out why we sometimes jump to conclusions."
Nan sank back among her cushions not half satisfied. "Dr. Pardee lives near, too. Just as near as Dr. Milbank does," she persisted.
Nan sank back among her cushions, not quite satisfied. "Dr. Pardee lives nearby, just as close as Dr. Milbank does," she insisted.
The governess made no response, and just then Delia came staggering in under the weight of a huge brass tray which she bore in her arms.
The governess didn’t respond, and just then Delia came stumbling in, struggling with a large brass tray she was carrying in her arms.
Miss Blake jumped to her feet. "We're going to have a dinner-party up here to-night, Nan," she said. "Won't it be fun?" and she set to work unfolding a strange foreign-looking stand that Nan had never seen before and upon which Delia carefully placed the tray.
Miss Blake jumped up. "We're having a dinner party up here tonight, Nan," she said. "Isn't that exciting?" Then she started unfolding an unusual-looking stand that Nan had never seen before, and onto it, Delia carefully set the tray.
"Why, what a dandy little table it makes!" exclaimed Nan, admiringly. "Where did it come from?"
"Wow, what a cute little table!" Nan exclaimed, admiring it. "Where did it come from?"
"I brought it from London, but it was made in India," explained Miss Blake.
"I got it in London, but it was made in India," Miss Blake explained.
Nan's eyes softened. "Where papa is!" she murmured softly to herself. "You have lots of nice things," she added, after a moment. "These pillows are downright daisies. I s'pose they belong to you."
Nan's eyes softened. "Where Dad is!" she murmured quietly to herself. "You have a lot of nice things," she added after a moment. "These pillows are just wonderful. I guess they belong to you."
The governess served her with soup. "They are yours whenever you care to use them," she returned in her quiet way.
The governess served her soup. "They're yours whenever you want to use them," she replied calmly.
"It's jolly having dinner up here," said Nan, not quite knowing how to respond to such a generous offer.
"It's great having dinner up here," said Nan, not really sure how to respond to such a generous offer.
"Yes, isn't it?" assented the governess.
"Yeah, isn't it?" agreed the governess.
"Mrs. Newton don't use her basement for a dining-room, and neither does Mr. Turner. I wish we didn't. I think it would be perfectly fine if we could have ours up here, too."
"Mrs. Newton doesn't use her basement as a dining room, and neither does Mr. Turner. I wish we didn't have to, either. I think it would be perfectly fine if we could have ours up here, too."
"Why couldn't you?"
"Why weren’t you able to?"
The girl leaned forward with a look of real interest in her face.
The girl leaned forward, her face showing genuine interest.
"Do you think we might?" she asked eagerly.
"Do you think we could?" she asked eagerly.
"I don't see why not. The books might be shifted to the other room. This might be re—well, re-arranged, and I'm sure it would make a charming dining-room."
"I don't see why not. The books could be moved to the other room. This could be rearranged, and I'm sure it would make a lovely dining room."
"But that ugly old glass extension back there!" protested Nan in disgust. "Who wants to look at a lot of old trunks and broken-up things when one is eating? If we could only pull it down."
"But that ugly old glass extension back there!" Nan protested in disgust. "Who wants to look at a bunch of old trunks and broken stuff while eating? If only we could just tear it down."
Miss Blake considered a moment.
Miss Blake thought for a moment.
"Why not take all the old trunks and broken-up things out entirely and make a conservatory of it. It faces the south. Plants would grow beautifully there."
"Why not clear out all the old trunks and broken items completely and turn it into a conservatory? It faces south. Plants would thrive beautifully there."
Nan clapped her hands. "Why, that's perfectly splendiferous," she cried. "I never should have thought of it. I say, Miss Blake, let's do it right away, will you? I love flowers."
Nan clapped her hands. "Wow, that's absolutely amazing," she exclaimed. "I never would have thought of it. Come on, Miss Blake, let's do it right now, okay? I love flowers."
"Would you take care of them?" demanded the governess with a thoughtful look.
"Would you look after them?" the governess asked thoughtfully.
"Uh-huh!" nodded Nan, heartily. "I guess I would!"
"Uh-huh!" nodded Nan enthusiastically. "I suppose I would!"
"Very well, then," returned Miss Blake encouragingly, "I'll think about it. Perhaps Delia wouldn't consent. You know there is no dumb-waiter in the house, and if she had to carry up all the dishes at every meal, it would more than double her work."
"Alright, then," Miss Blake replied supportively, "I'll consider it. Maybe Delia wouldn't agree. You know there’s no dumbwaiter in the house, and if she had to carry all the dishes up after every meal, it would more than double her workload."
Nan's face fell. "O dear!" she complained. "What a horrid old house! Can't do a single thing with it! It would have been such fun to change everything about!"
Nan's expression changed. "Oh no!" she said. "What a terrible old house! I can't do anything with it! It would have been so much fun to change everything!"
Miss Blake laughed. "Oh, if that was all your reason for wanting the improvements," she retorted. "I thought you wanted to gratify your sense of the beautiful."
Miss Blake laughed. "Oh, if that was your only reason for wanting the upgrades," she replied. "I thought you wanted to satisfy your appreciation for beauty."
"Well, I do," declared Nan.
"Well, I do," said Nan.
"Then we'll see what can be done," and the governess set down her glass of water with a very knowing smile.
"Then we'll see what can be done," and the governess put down her glass of water with a knowing smile.
After dinner was eaten and Delia had carried away the tray and Miss Blake removed the wonderful folding stand, the governess looked up suddenly and said with unusual gravity:
After dinner was finished and Delia had taken away the tray and Miss Blake had put away the amazing folding stand, the governess suddenly looked up and said with unexpected seriousness:
"Nan, while I am here I hope you will never run out after dark alone again. It is dangerous. Do you understand me, my dear?"
"Nan, while I'm here, I hope you'll never go out alone after dark again. It's dangerous. Do you understand me, my dear?"
The girl's eyes dropped. Yes, she understood perfectly. When the governess spoke in that low, decided voice it would have been hard to mistake her meaning.
The girl's eyes fell. Yes, she understood completely. When the governess spoke in that low, firm voice, it would have been difficult to misunderstand her meaning.
"I had to go to-night," Nan answered, in a suddenly sullen voice.
"I have to go tonight," Nan replied, sounding suddenly gloomy.
"If you had waited a few moments I could have, and most willingly would have, gone with you. Never hesitate to ask me. I am always at your service. That is what I am here for."
"If you had waited a few moments, I could have and would have happily gone with you. Never hesitate to ask me. I’m always here to help you. That’s what I'm here for."
Nan hesitated. "I—I thought you had gone away—for good," she stammered, lamely.
Nan hesitated. "I—I thought you were gone for good," she stammered, weakly.
Miss Blake flushed. "What made you think I had gone away for good?" she asked, slowly repeating the girl's words.
Miss Blake blushed. "What made you think I had left for good?" she asked, slowly repeating the girl's words.
Nan shook her head and gulped.
Nan shook her head and swallowed hard.
"I was in my room," continued the governess, after a pause, "and I heard—"
"I was in my room," the governess continued after a pause, "and I heard—"
Nan put out both hands. "I know it! I know it!" she gasped. "But I didn't mean what I said—I didn't, honestly and truly. Before you came I learned it off, and I meant to say it, but that was before I saw you. I feel different now, and I hope—I hope—"
Nan stretched out both hands. "I know it! I know it!" she exclaimed. "But I didn't mean what I said—I really didn't, honestly. Before you showed up, I had it memorized, and I intended to say it, but that was before I saw you. I feel different now, and I hope—I hope—"
Miss Blake's hand was laid quietly on hers. "Wait a moment, Nan. Don't go on till you know what I was going to say. You seem to be trying to explain something that perhaps you might regret later. You think I overheard something you would rather I did not know? What I was going to say is this: I was in my room this afternoon and I heard a man crying 'Chestnuts!' It carried me back to the time when I was a little girl and used to roast them in this very—" she hesitated, then added slowly, "town. So I went out to buy some, that we might have a little jollification together with nuts and apples and perhaps a cookie or two, if Delia would give them to us. That is why I went out."
Miss Blake's hand rested gently on hers. "Hold on a second, Nan. Don’t keep talking until you know what I was about to say. You seem to be trying to explain something that you might regret later. Do you think I overheard something you'd prefer I didn't know? What I was going to say is this: I was in my room this afternoon and I heard a man calling out 'Chestnuts!' It took me back to when I was a little girl roasting them in this very—" she paused, then slowly added, "town. So I went out to buy some so we could have a little fun together with nuts and apples and maybe a cookie or two, if Delia would share. That’s why I went out."
Nan twisted her fingers and looked down. "And I went out because you did," she faltered. "I thought you had gone away, and I went to Mr. Turner's to bring you back—if you would come. Say, now, didn't you hear what I said to Delia? I was awfully mad, and I guess I spoke out loud enough so folks on the next block could have heard. Honest now, didn't you?"
Nan twisted her fingers and looked down. "I went out because you did," she stumbled over her words. "I thought you had left, and I went to Mr. Turner’s to bring you back—if you wanted to come. Honestly, didn’t you hear what I said to Delia? I was really angry, and I’m sure I spoke loudly enough for people on the next block to hear. Seriously, didn’t you?"
Miss Blake did not answer at once, and Nan could see that a struggle of some sort was going on in her mind. When she raised her face her eyes were very grave.
Miss Blake didn’t reply right away, and Nan could tell that she was wrestling with something in her mind. When she looked up, her expression was very serious.
"Yes, Nan, I did hear!" she confessed, honestly.
"Yes, Nan, I heard!" she admitted, truthfully.
The girl's cheeks blazed with sudden shame.
The girl's cheeks burned with sudden embarrassment.
"And yet you weren't going to leave?" she said. "You were only going to do a kindness to me?"
"And yet you weren't going to leave?" she asked. "You were just going to do me a favor?"
Miss Blake shook her head.
Miss Blake sighed.
"Dear Nan," she answered, smiling wistfully, "a good soldier never runs away for a mere wound. He stays on the field until he has won his battle or—until—he is mortally hurt. I do not think you will ever wish to cut me as deeply as that, and so—and so—I will stay until—the general orders me off the field. The day I hear that your father is to come back, that day I will resign my position in this house. Until then, however, you must reconcile yourself to my presence here, and I think we should both be much happier if you would try to do so at once, my dear."
"Dear Nan," she replied, smiling with a hint of sadness, "a good soldier never backs down for just a wound. He stays on the battlefield until he has either won his fight or—until—he is seriously injured. I don’t think you’ll ever want to hurt me that badly, so—so—I’ll stay until—the general tells me to leave the field. The day I hear that your father is coming back, that’s the day I’ll step down from my role in this house. Until then, you need to accept my presence here, and I believe we would both be much happier if you would try to do that right away, my dear."
CHAPTER VIII
NAN'S HEROINE
The strain Nan had given her ankle proved more serious than either she or Miss Blake had expected. It threatened to keep her chained to the sofa for days to come, and the girl's only comfort lay in the thought that now, of course, the governess would not force the question of study, and after she was up and about again she might be able to dispose of it altogether, and save herself any more worry on that score.
The strain Nan had put on her ankle turned out to be worse than she or Miss Blake had anticipated. It seemed poised to keep her stuck on the sofa for several days, and the only thing comforting the girl was the idea that now, of course, the governess wouldn't insist on studying, and once she was back on her feet, she might be able to avoid it completely, which would save her from any further stress about it.
But Monday came, and, true to her word, Miss Blake appeared in the library after breakfast with an armful of school-books, to which she kept Nan fastened until luncheon time. It was perfectly clear that there was no escape. Miss Blake was armed with authority, and the girl knew herself to be under control. She fretted against it so persistently that if the governess had not had an enduring patience she must have despaired over and over again under the strain of Nan's sullen tempers, fierce outbreaks, and lazy moods. There were moments when the girl seemed to be fairly tractable, but there was no knowing when the whim would seize her to fall back into her old ways, so that, at the best of times, Miss Blake did not dare relax her control. Then Nan would kick her heels sulkily, and comfort herself with the thought that when her father came home all this would be put an end to. Miss Blake would go. Hadn't she said so herself? And that would finish up this studying business quick enough. She could cajole her father easily into letting her stay away from school, and then—here she would be, as happy as you please, with only those two, Delia and her dear daddy, to look after her, and no one at all would say no to anything she might choose to do. It was a blissful prospect. In the meantime there were lessons, and—Miss Blake.
But Monday came, and, true to her word, Miss Blake showed up in the library after breakfast with a stack of school books, which she kept Nan stuck with until lunch. It was clear there was no escape. Miss Blake was in charge, and Nan knew it. She resisted so often that if the governess hadn’t had endless patience, she would have lost hope over and over again because of Nan's gloomy moods, angry outbursts, and lazy attitudes. There were times when Nan seemed somewhat cooperative, but it was unpredictable when she would revert to her old habits, so, even at the best of times, Miss Blake couldn’t afford to let her guard down. Then Nan would sulkily kick her heels and comfort herself with the thought that when her dad came home, all of this would come to an end. Miss Blake would be gone. Hadn’t she said as much herself? And that would quickly wrap up this studying ordeal. She could easily persuade her dad to let her skip school, and then—there she would be, as happy as could be, with only Delia and her dear dad looking after her, and no one around to say no to anything she wanted to do. It was a wonderful possibility. In the meantime, there were lessons, and—Miss Blake.
But after a few days Nan found that, somehow, the lessons were not so hard after all, and she never would have believed that they could be so interesting. While as for Miss Blake—Well, a woman who sits reading "Treasure Island" and such books to one for hours together can't be regarded entirely in the light of a nuisance.
But after a few days, Nan realized that, somehow, the lessons weren't so hard after all, and she never would have thought they could be so interesting. As for Miss Blake—well, a woman who sits and reads "Treasure Island" and other books for hours can't be seen entirely as a nuisance.
"I never knew geography was so nice before," Nan admitted one day after lessons were over. "I used to hate it, but now, why it's downright jolly! I never saw such beautiful pictures! Where in the world did you ever get so many?"
"I never knew geography was this nice before," Nan admitted one day after lessons were over. "I used to hate it, but now, it's just so cheerful! I’ve never seen such beautiful pictures! Where in the world did you find so many?"
"I took them myself!"
"I did them myself!"
Nan's eyes widened. "Why, have you been to all these places?" she asked, not a little awe-struck.
Nan's eyes widened. "Wow, have you been to all these places?" she asked, clearly amazed.
Miss Blake confessed she had.
Miss Blake admitted she had.
"And you took all these photographs your own self?" persisted the girl.
"And you took all these photos yourself?" the girl asked stubbornly.
The governess laughed. "I'm like George Washington, Nan," she said. "I cannot tell a lie! I did them with my little—Kodak!"
The governess laughed. "I'm like George Washington, Nan," she said. "I can't tell a lie! I took them with my little—Kodak!"
Nan fairly gulped. She would have said "Jiminy!" but she knew Miss Blake disapproved of "Jiminy!" and somehow, she was willing to humor her just now.
Nan nearly choked. She would have said "Wow!" but she knew Miss Blake didn’t approve of "Wow!" and for some reason, she was willing to go along with her just now.
"Only," went on the governess, "it isn't a little Kodak at all. It is a very fine camera indeed. Some day, if you like, I will show it to you, and then, perhaps you will be interested enough to care to learn how to take some photographs yourself."
"Only," the governess continued, "it's not a small Kodak at all. It's actually a really high-quality camera. Someday, if you want, I can show it to you, and maybe then you'll be interested enough to learn how to take some photos yourself."
Nan bounced up and down on the sofa with delight. "Oh, won't I, though!" she exclaimed feverishly. "Just won't I!"
Nan bounced up and down on the couch with excitement. "Oh, I definitely will!" she exclaimed enthusiastically. "Absolutely, I will!"
"But mind you, my dear," warned Miss Blake. "If you once undertake it, I want you to persist. It is not to be any 'You-press-the-button-and-we-do-the-rest' affair. I want you to learn to finish up your work yourself. Do you think you will care to take so much trouble?"
"But just remember, my dear," warned Miss Blake. "If you decide to take this on, I want you to stick with it. It’s not going to be some 'just press the button and we do the rest' situation. I want you to learn to complete your work on your own. Do you really think you’ll want to put in that much effort?"
Nan nodded energetically.
Nan nodded enthusiastically.
"Very well, then. So it stands. If you are willing to learn I'll gladly teach."
"Okay, then. That's how it is. If you're ready to learn, I'm happy to teach."
"Who taught you?" asked the girl curiously.
"Who taught you?" the girl asked, intrigued.
Miss Blake shook her head. "Just a man whom I paid for his trouble," she returned simply. "I wanted to learn, and so I went into a gallery and got some experience, and then came away and experimented on my own account. It has taken me years, and I am still working hard at it, for I believe in never being satisfied with anything less than the best one can do."
Miss Blake shook her head. "Just a man I paid for his help," she replied simply. "I wanted to learn, so I went into a gallery to gain some experience, and then I left and experimented on my own. It has taken me years, and I'm still working hard at it because I believe in never settling for anything less than the best I can do."
Nan blinked. She herself believed in being satisfied with whatever came easiest, unless it was in the way of some sport, where she liked to excel.
Nan blinked. She believed in being content with whatever came easily, unless it interfered with a sport, where she preferred to stand out.
"How jolly it must be to travel about—all over the world," said she, musingly. "When I'm grown up I guess I'll be a governess, or a companion, or something, just as you are, and get a place with some awfully nice people who will take me everywhere. Was it nice where you were before you came here? Were there any girls? Why did you leave?"
"How great it must be to travel everywhere in the world," she said, thoughtful. "When I grow up, I think I'll be a governess or a companion, just like you, and find a job with some really nice people who will take me everywhere. Was it nice where you were before you came here? Were there any girls? Why did you leave?"
Miss Blake looked troubled, but Nan was not used to noticing other people's moods, and did not even stop to hear the replies to her own questions. "If you've been all over the world, you'll know where my father is, and can tell me about it. Oh, do, do! Show me some pictures of India, won't you please? Just think, I haven't seen my father for two years, and he won't be home until next autumn—almost a year from now. You ought to see him! He is the best man in the world—only I guess he is lonely, because my mother died when I was a baby, and he hasn't any one to keep house for him but Delia and me. Mr. Turner says he has lost a lot of money lately, too. I guess that's why he went to India. If I had been older he would have taken me. But he had to leave me here with Delia. Delia has been in our family, for, oh, ever so many years. She first came to live here when my mother was a young girl. She says it was the jolliest house you ever saw. My grandfather and grandmother were alive then, and mamma had a young friend, who was an orphan, who lived with them. They loved her just as if she had been their own child, and she and my mother were so fond of each other that—well, Delia says it was beautiful to see them together. And such times! There were parties and all sorts of things all the time till, Delia says, it was a caution. My grandfather wasn't very well off, and lots and lots of times my mother wouldn't have been able to go to the parties she was invited to, if it hadn't been for that friend of hers, who used to give her the most beautiful things—dresses, and gloves, and all she needed. She had loads of money, and every time she got anything for herself she got its mate for my mother. Don't you think that was pretty generous?"
Miss Blake looked worried, but Nan wasn’t really tuned into other people’s feelings and didn’t even pause to listen to the answers to her own questions. "If you’ve traveled all over the world, you must know where my dad is and can tell me about it. Oh, please! Show me some pictures of India, won’t you? Just think, I haven’t seen my dad for two years, and he won’t be home until next autumn—almost a year from now. You should see him! He’s the best man in the world—only I think he’s lonely because my mom passed away when I was a baby, and he only has Delia and me to help him. Mr. Turner says he lost a lot of money recently, too. I guess that’s why he went to India. If I were older, he would have taken me. But he had to leave me here with Delia. Delia has been part of our family for so many years. She first came to live here when my mom was just a young girl. She says it was the happiest house you could imagine. My grandparents were alive back then, and mom had a young friend, an orphan, who lived with them. They loved her like she was their own child, and she and my mom were so close that—well, Delia says it was wonderful to see them together. And the fun times! There were parties and all kinds of activities going on constantly, until, Delia says, it was quite the scene. My grandfather wasn’t very wealthy, and many times my mom wouldn’t have been able to attend the parties she was invited to if it hadn’t been for that friend of hers, who used to give her the most amazing things—dresses, gloves, everything she needed. She had a ton of money, and every time she got something for herself, she got a matching item for my mom. Don’t you think that’s pretty generous?"
Miss Blake bit her lip. "One can't judge, Nan," she said. "If your mother shared her home with this girl and she had money and your mother had not, I think it was only right that they should share the money too. No, I do not think it was generous."
Miss Blake bit her lip. "You can't really judge, Nan," she said. "If your mom let this girl live in her house and the girl had money while your mom didn't, I think it was only fair that they should split the money too. No, I don't think it was generous."
Nan tossed her head. "Well, I think it was and so does Delia," she retorted hotly.
Nan tossed her head. "Well, I think it was, and so does Delia," she shot back angrily.
"It is easy enough to give when one has plenty," pursued the governess, almost sternly. "But when one has little and one gives that—well, then it is hard and then perhaps one may be what the world calls generous, though I should call it merely grateful."
"It’s pretty easy to give when you have a lot," the governess continued, almost sternly. "But when you have little and you give that—well, then it’s tough, and maybe that’s what people call generous, though I would just call it being grateful."
Nan did not understand very clearly. She thought Miss Blake meant to disparage her mother's friend, the woman she had been brought up to think was one of the noblest beings on earth. She felt angry and hurt and almost regretted that she had confided the story to her since she made so little of her heroine's conduct.
Nan didn’t fully understand. She thought Miss Blake was trying to insult her mother’s friend, the woman she had always believed was one of the most noble people on earth. She felt angry and hurt, and she almost regretted telling her the story since Miss Blake seemed to dismiss her heroine’s actions so easily.
"I don't care; I think she was perfectly fine and so does Delia. My mother just loved her and I guess she knew whether she was generous or not. When she went away my mother was wild. She cried her eyes out. But she married my father soon after that, and then—well, my grandmother died and then my grandfather, and I was born and my mother died and—O dear me! it was dreadful. Delia says many and many a time she has gone down on her knees and just prayed that that girl would come back, but she has never come and she won't now, because it is years and years ago and maybe she's dead herself by this time. Do you think Delia would have prayed for Miss Severance to come back if she hadn't been the best and most generous girl in the world?"
"I don't care; I think she was totally fine, and so does Delia. My mom just loved her, and I guess she knew if she was generous or not. When she left, my mom was devastated. She cried so much. But then she married my dad shortly after that, and then—well, my grandma passed away and then my grandpa, and I was born and my mom died and—oh my, it was terrible. Delia says she's prayed many times on her knees for that girl to come back, but she never has, and she won’t now because it’s been years and years, and maybe she’s dead by now. Do you think Delia would have prayed for Miss Severance to come back if she hadn't been the best and kindest girl in the world?"
Miss Blake smiled faintly. "That settles it, Nan!" she declared. "If Delia wanted her back she must at least have tried to be good. And even trying is something, isn't it? And now, how do you think luncheon would taste?"
Miss Blake smiled faintly. "That settles it, Nan!" she declared. "If Delia wanted her back, she must have at least tried to be good. And even trying is something, right? So, what do you think lunch would taste like?"
Nan was more than ever inclined to be sulky. Her loyalty was touched. Not alone did Miss Blake fail to appreciate her heroine, but she showed quite plainly that she did not want to hear about her. "All the time I was talking she fidgeted around and looked too unhappy for anything. I guess she needn't think she's the only one in the world that can make people love her. I don't think it's very nice to be jealous of a person you never saw. Pooh! I like what she said about trying to be good. I guess Delia knows," said Nan.
Nan was more sulky than ever. Her loyalty was hurt. Not only did Miss Blake fail to appreciate her hero, but it was obvious she didn't want to hear about her either. "While I was talking, she kept fidgeting and looked so unhappy. She shouldn't think she's the only one who can make people love her. I don't think it's cool to be jealous of someone you've never met. Ugh! I like what she said about trying to be good. I guess Delia knows," Nan said.
They ate their luncheon together in the library, and after they had finished Miss Blake excused herself and went upstairs to prepare to go out.
They had lunch together in the library, and after they were done, Miss Blake excused herself and went upstairs to get ready to go out.
"After being in the house all the morning one needs a change," she said, "and it would be a sin to spend all of this glorious day indoors."
"After being in the house all morning, you need a change," she said, "and it would be a shame to spend this beautiful day inside."
Nan sighed. How she longed to get away herself. But of course that was impossible, with this old troublesome ankle bothering her. If she could not step across the room, how could she hope to get into the street? O dear! When would it be well?
Nan sighed. She really wished she could escape herself. But of course that was impossible with this annoying old ankle bothering her. If she couldn’t walk across the room, how could she expect to step out into the street? Oh dear! When would it get better?
Miss Blake was tripping about upstairs and Nan could hear her singing as she went. Delia was up there, too. When Delia walked the chandelier shook.
Miss Blake was wandering around upstairs, and Nan could hear her singing as she moved. Delia was up there as well. When Delia walked, the chandelier shook.
"She follows Miss Blake about so, it's perfectly disgusting," thought the girl resentfully. "Now, I wonder what she wants in my room. I don't thank either of them for going poking about my things when I'm not there, so now! Well, I'm glad she's coming down, at any rate."
"She follows Miss Blake around like that, it's really annoying," the girl thought bitterly. "I wonder what she wants in my room. I don't appreciate either of them snooping through my stuff when I'm not around, so there! Well, at least I'm glad she's coming downstairs, anyway."
The governess appeared in the library a moment later, but Nan could scarcely see her face, she was so overladen with wraps and rugs. She turned the whole assortment into a chair, and before the girl could ask a question, she found herself being bundled up and made ready for the street.
The governess showed up in the library a moment later, but Nan could barely see her face since she was so loaded down with coats and blankets. She dumped the whole pile onto a chair, and before the girl could ask anything, she found herself being bundled up and prepared for the street.
"What are you doing?" she gasped out at length. "You know I can't walk."
"What are you doing?" she breathed finally. "You know I can't walk."
"Nobody asked you, sir!" quoted the governess, gayly.
"Nobody asked you, sir!" the governess said cheerfully.
"Then what are you putting on my things for?"
"Then why are you putting that on my stuff?"
"Ready, Delia?" sang out Miss Blake, cheerfully.
"Ready, Delia?" Miss Blake called out cheerfully.
Nan heard the front door open. Then heavy steps came clumping along the hall, and in another moment she was being borne down the outer steps and set comfortably in a carriage by the good old Irish coachman, Mike, from the livery stable round the corner.
Nan heard the front door open. Then heavy footsteps came thumping down the hall, and a moment later, she was being carried down the outer steps and set comfortably in a carriage by the kind old Irish coachman, Mike, from the livery stable around the corner.
"Are you comfortable?" asked Miss Blake, with her foot on the step. "Have you everything you need?"
"Are you comfortable?" Miss Blake asked, with her foot on the step. "Do you have everything you need?"
Nan nodded, and the governess, taking her place beside her, motioned to Michael, who climbed to his seat on the box, and off they drove.
Nan nodded, and the governess, taking her place next to her, signaled to Michael, who climbed into his seat on the box, and off they went.
"There is Delia at the window! Let's wave to her!" cried Miss Blake, with one of her happy girl-hearted laughs.
"There’s Delia at the window! Let's wave to her!" shouted Miss Blake, with one of her cheerful, girl-like laughs.
It seemed to Nan that she had never seen the Park look as beautiful as it did to-day. To be sure, most of the trees were bare, but the naked branches stood out delicate and clear against the blue of the violet-clouded sky and by the lake-shore the pollard willows were gray and misty, and a few russet maple trees still held their leaves against the sweeping wind. They saw numberless wheels spinning along the smooth paths, and though the governess said nothing, Nan knew she had given up this chance of a ride for her sake.
It seemed to Nan that she had never seen the Park look as beautiful as it did today. Sure, most of the trees were bare, but the bare branches stood out delicately and clearly against the blue of the violet-clouded sky, and by the lake shore, the pollard willows were gray and misty, while a few russet maple trees still held their leaves against the strong wind. They saw countless wheels spinning along the smooth paths, and even though the governess didn’t say anything, Nan knew she had given up this chance for a ride for her sake.
Impulsively she put out her hand and laid it on Miss Blake's.
Impulsively, she reached out and placed her hand on Miss Blake's.
"If it weren't for me you'd be on your wheel now, wouldn't you?" she asked.
"If it weren't for me, you'd be on your wheel now, right?" she asked.
"Yes," came the answer, prompt as an echo. "But as it is I'm not on my wheel, and it so happens that I'm doing something that gives me much more pleasure."
"Yes," came the answer, quick like an echo. "But right now I'm not on my bike, and it turns out I'm doing something that brings me way more joy."
"If I had a bike it would make me simply furious to have to give up a ride such a day as this," said Nan.
"If I had a bike, it would make me really mad to have to give up a ride on a day like this," said Nan.
"Then isn't it rather fortunate you haven't one?" asked Miss Blake, saucily. "But seriously, Nan, why haven't you one?"
"Then isn't it pretty lucky you don't have one?" Miss Blake asked playfully. "But seriously, Nan, why don't you have one?"
Nan set her jaw. "My father can't afford it," she said proudly.
Nan clenched her jaw. "My dad can't afford it," she said proudly.
The governess turned her head to look at a faraway hill, and there was an embarrassing little pause. When she faced about again Nan could see that her chin was quivering, and in a spirit of tender thoughtfulness quite new to her, she hastened to change the subject since Miss Blake felt so badly about having asked the question.
The governess turned her head to look at a distant hill, and there was an awkward little pause. When she turned back around, Nan could see that her chin was trembling, and feeling a new kind of gentle concern, she quickly tried to change the subject since Miss Blake felt so bad about asking the question.
"This is the lake where we skate in winter," she said. "That is, most of the girls come here. I go to the Steamer. I like it better."
"This is the lake where we skate in the winter," she said. "Most of the girls come here. I prefer the Steamer. I like it better."
The governess looked at it and asked, absently, "Why?"
The governess glanced at it and asked, distractedly, "Why?"
"Oh, because its jollier there. Most of the girls I know—I don't know—that is, they don't know me; they don't like me much, and I'd rather not go where they are. John Gardiner and some other boys and I go to the Steamer and have regular contests, and it's the best sport in the world."
"Oh, it's just way more fun there. Most of the girls I know—I mean, they don't really know me; they don't think much of me, and I'd rather not be around them. John Gardiner and a few other guys and I go to the Steamer and have regular competitions, and it's the best fun ever."
But Miss Blake was not listening. She was thinking of other things, and only came back to a sense of what was going on about her when Nan gave a great sigh to indicate that she was tired of waiting to be entertained. The governess roused herself with a smile and an apology and began at once to chat briskly again.
But Miss Blake wasn't paying attention. She was lost in her thoughts and only snapped back to reality when Nan let out a big sigh to show she was tired of waiting to be entertained. The governess shook herself awake, smiled, and apologized before jumping back into lively conversation.
"Whenever you want Michael to turn you have only to say so," she said. "What do you think of going down-town and buying some jelly or something for little Ruth Newton. We could stop there on our way home, and you could send it up with your love."
"Whenever you want Michael to turn, you just need to say it," she said. "How about going downtown and picking up some jelly or something for little Ruth Newton? We could stop by there on our way home, and you could send it up with your love."
Nan nodded heartily. It always pleased her to give. She enjoyed, too, the thought of getting a glimpse of the shop-windows, which were already beginning to take on a look of holiday gorgeousness. So down-town they went, and Miss Blake not alone bought the jelly, but so many other things as well, that presently Nan began to have a feeling that for such a poor woman the governess was inclined to be extravagant.
Nan nodded enthusiastically. It always made her happy to give. She also liked the idea of seeing the shop windows, which were starting to look festive. So they headed downtown, and Miss Blake not only bought the jelly, but so many other things too, that soon Nan started to feel that for such a poor woman, the governess was being a bit extravagant.
She told Delia so when they were alone together that evening, Miss Blake having gone upstairs to write some letters.
She told Delia that when they were alone together that evening, Miss Blake had gone upstairs to write some letters.
"Oh, I guess you needn't worry," the woman said.
"Oh, I guess you don’t need to worry," the woman said.
"But you don't know how many things she bought," persisted Nan. "I'm sure she can't afford it. Just think, a woman that works for her living the way she has to! But do you know, Delia, I believe there's something mysterious about her, anyway. She seems to see right into your mind—what you're thinking about; and every once in a while she lets out a hint that the next minute she looks as if she wished she hadn't said. I've noticed it lots and lots of times, and I'm sure she's trying to hide something. What do you s'pose it is? What fun it would be if she were a princess in disguise."
"But you have no idea how many things she bought," Nan insisted. "I'm sure she can't afford it. Just think about it, a woman who works so hard for a living! But you know, Delia, I really believe there's something mysterious about her. She seems to look right into your mind—like she knows what you're thinking; and every now and then she drops a hint, then immediately looks like she regrets saying it. I've noticed it so many times, and I’m certain she's trying to hide something. What do you think it is? How fun would it be if she were a princess in disguise?"
"Well, she ain't," Delia almost snapped. "She's just a good little woman that's trying to do her duty as far as I can make out, and if she spends money you must remember she has only herself to support."
"Well, she isn't," Delia almost snapped. "She's just a good woman trying to do her duty as far as I can tell, and if she spends money, you have to remember she only has herself to support."
CHAPTER IX
HAVING HER OWN WAY
"I know just the kind I want, and I won't wear any other," said Nan, irritably.
"I know exactly what I want, and I won't wear anything else," Nan said, annoyed.
Miss Blake made no reply, and the girl sauntered off to another part of the store, and pretended to be examining a case of trimmed bonnets, which she could not see because her eyes were half-blind with rebellious tears. What right had any one to tell her what sort of a hat she ought to get! If her father was paying for it, she guessed it was nobody else's business to say anything.
Miss Blake didn’t respond, and the girl wandered off to another part of the store, pretending to look at a display of trimmed bonnets, which she couldn’t really see because her eyes were half-blind with angry tears. What right did anyone have to tell her what kind of hat she should get? If her dad was paying for it, it was nobody else's business to say anything.
Miss Blake held in her hand a handsome, wide-brimmed felt hat, trimmed simply with fine ribbon and a generous bunch of quills.
Miss Blake held in her hand a stylish, wide-brimmed felt hat, decorated simply with fine ribbon and a big bunch of quills.
"It's very girlish and suitable, ma'am!" the saleswoman said, as she turned away to get another model.
"It's really feminine and perfect, ma'am!" the saleswoman said, as she turned away to grab another model.
After a moment Nan came hurrying back to the governess' side.
After a moment, Nan hurried back to the governess's side.
"Horrid old thing!" she said in a low voice, flinging her hand out with a gesture of disgust toward the despised hat. "It's stiff as a poker. Do you suppose I want to have just bunched-up bows with some spikes stuck in the middle to trim my hat! And all one color, too! I guess not!"
"Horrible old thing!" she said quietly, tossing her hand out in disgust towards the hated hat. "It's as stiff as a board. Do you think I want a bunch of bows with some spikes sticking out to decorate my hat? And all in one color, too! I don’t think so!"
The governess bit her lip. "Perhaps we may be able to find something more to your fancy," she said. "But plumes are expensive and perishable, and if you have too many colors your hat will look vulgar."
The governess bit her lip. "Maybe we can find something more to your taste," she said. "But feathers are pricey and fragile, and if you have too many colors, your hat will look tacky."
"I hate this place anyhow," went on Nan, disdainfully. "Bigelow's! Who ever thought of going to Bigelow's?"
"I hate this place anyway," Nan continued, looking down her nose. "Bigelow's! Who even thought of going to Bigelow's?"
"Your mother did," said Miss Blake, quickly. "That is, Delia says she did. And I myself know it to be one of the oldest and best firms in the city. One can always be sure that one is getting good quality for one's money here."
"Your mom did," Miss Blake said quickly. "Well, Delia says she did. And I know for a fact it's one of the oldest and best companies in the city. You can always count on getting good quality for your money here."
"I never was in the place before," blurted out Nan, "and I despise their hats—every one of them. If you won't let me go to Sternberg's, where they have things I like, I won't get anything at all, so there!"
"I've never been here before," Nan exclaimed, "and I can't stand their hats—every single one of them. If you won't let me go to Sternberg's, where they have stuff I actually like, then I won't get anything at all, so there!"
She suddenly let her voice fall, for the sales-woman was back again with a fresh assortment of shapes to select from.
She suddenly lowered her voice because the saleswoman returned with a new selection of shapes to choose from.
Miss Blake placed the hat she held gently upon a table and began to examine the others carefully, Nan standing by in sullen silence.
Miss Blake set the hat she was holding gently on the table and started to look at the others carefully, while Nan stood by in gloomy silence.
"This is a pretty one—this with the tips, don't you think so?" the governess asked, setting it on her hand and letting it revolve slowly while she regarded it critically with her head on one side.
"This is a nice one—this one with the tips, don't you think?" the governess asked, placing it on her hand and letting it spin slowly as she observed it critically with her head tilted to one side.
Nan gave a grunt of dissatisfaction. What she wanted was a flaring, turned-up brim, with a dash of red velvet underneath and a bird-of-paradise on top, caught in a mesh of red and yellow ribbons. She had seen something on this order in Sternberg's window, and it had struck her fancy at once.
Nan grunted in frustration. What she wanted was a wide-brimmed hat with a splash of red velvet underneath and a bird-of-paradise on top, nestled in a mesh of red and yellow ribbons. She had seen something like that in Sternberg's window, and it had instantly caught her eye.
The governess hesitated, and then put down the hat she held.
The governess paused, then set down the hat she was holding.
"Very well. We will go to Sternberg's," she said, quietly, to Nan, in an undertone which the saleswoman could not distinguish. The girl started briskly for the door. Miss Blake remained behind a moment, and then followed after.
"Alright. We’ll go to Sternberg's," she said softly to Nan, in a low voice that the saleswoman couldn’t hear. The girl walked quickly to the door. Miss Blake paused for a moment and then followed.
Now that she was to have her own way Nan was restored to good humor, and kept up a stream of chatter until they reached Sternberg's.
Now that she was getting her way, Nan was in a great mood and kept chatting until they arrived at Sternberg's.
"There! Isn't that a beauty?" she demanded at last, indicating the hat in the window.
"There! Isn't that a beauty?" she asked finally, pointing at the hat in the window.
Miss Blake, with difficulty, concealed a shudder.
Miss Blake, with effort, suppressed a shiver.
"It seems to me rather showy. But tastes differ, you know. I can't say it suits me exactly. Still, if you are pleased—you are the one to wear it, not I."
"It looks pretty flashy to me. But everyone has different tastes, you know. I can't say it's really my style. Still, if you like it—you’re the one who gets to wear it, not me."
The hat was bought and Nan was radiant. She insisted on donning it at once, and Miss Blake tried not to let her discover how ashamed she was to be seen in the street with such a monstrous piece of millinery. Underneath her tower of gorgeousness Nan strutted like a turkey-cock.
The hat was bought and Nan was glowing. She insisted on putting it on right away, and Miss Blake tried not to let her see how embarrassed she was to be seen in public with such an outrageous hat. Underneath her stunning creation, Nan strutted like a peacock.
"I told Delia before we came away that we might not be home before dusk, so suppose we take luncheon down-town, and then, if you like, we will go to see Callmann. I haven't been to a sleight-of-hand performance since I was a little girl, and I always had a liking for that sort of thing."
"I told Delia before we left that we might not get home until after dark, so how about we grab lunch downtown, and then, if you're up for it, we can go see Callmann. I haven't been to a magic show since I was a kid, and I've always enjoyed that kind of stuff."
"Oh, do! Let's! Can we?" cried Nan, in a burst of grateful excitement.
"Oh, yes! Let’s! Can we?" cried Nan, bursting with grateful excitement.
It was nippingly cold outside, and the warm restaurant proved a delightful contrast. It was jolly to sit in the midst of all this pleasant bustle and be served with delicate, unfamiliar dishes by waiters who stood behind the chair and deferentially called one "Miss."
It was biting cold outside, and the cozy restaurant was a wonderful contrast. It felt great to sit amidst all this cheerful activity and be served delicate, unfamiliar dishes by waiters who stood behind the chair and politely called one "Miss."
Miss Blake left Nan to order whatever she pleased, and they dawdled over their meal luxuriously, the color in the girl's cheeks deepening with the warmth and excitement until it almost matched the velvet in her imposing hat. Every now and then she glanced furtively at her reflection in the mirror, and the vision of that bird-of-paradise hovering over those huge butterfly bows thrilled her with a great sense of importance and self-satisfaction. More than once she saw that her hat was being noticed and commented on by the other guests, and she tried her best to seem not aware—to look modestly unconscious. But Miss Blake, when she caught some eye fixed quizzically upon their table, blushed to the roots of her hair, and felt as though it would be impossible to bear the ordeal for a moment longer. Still, she did not hurry Nan, and no one knew, the girl least of all, what agonies of mortification she was enduring.
Miss Blake left Nan to order whatever she wanted, and they took their time over their meal, enjoying it as the color in the girl's cheeks deepened with warmth and excitement until it almost matched the velvet of her stylish hat. Every now and then, she glanced furtively at her reflection in the mirror, and the sight of that bird-of-paradise hovering over those huge butterfly bows filled her with a sense of importance and self-satisfaction. More than once, she noticed that her hat was being admired and commented on by the other guests, and she tried her best to act like she wasn’t aware—looking modestly oblivious. But Miss Blake, when she saw someone looking curiously at their table, blushed deeply and felt like she couldn’t handle the situation for another moment. Still, she didn’t rush Nan, and no one knew, least of all the girl, what intense embarrassment she was experiencing.
A deep-toned clock struck one full peal.
A deep-toned clock chimed once.
"That's half-past one," said Miss Blake, looking up and comparing her watch.
"That's 1:30," said Miss Blake, looking up and checking her watch.
"When does the entertainment begin?" asked Nan.
"When does the show start?" Nan asked.
"At two, I think, or quarter after. If we ride up we have still a few minutes to spare, but if we walk it would be wise to start at once."
"At two, I think, or a quarter past. If we ride up, we still have a few minutes to spare, but if we walk, it would be smart to start right away."
"O let's walk," begged Nan. "It's such fun; there's so much going on. And now my foot is well, I just want to trot all the time."
"O let's walk," pleaded Nan. "It's so much fun; there's so much happening. And now that my foot is better, I just want to stroll all the time."
Though Miss Blake was a good walker and took a great deal of exercise, she always preferred to ride when she was with Nan, for the girl forged ahead at such a rate and darted in among the maze of trucks and cars and carriages so recklessly that there was actual danger as well as discomfort in trying to keep abreast with her. Still she made no objection to "trotting," and they started off at a brisk pace.
Though Miss Blake was a great walker and got plenty of exercise, she always preferred to ride when she was with Nan, because the girl moved so fast and weaved in and out of the maze of trucks, cars, and carriages so recklessly that it was actually dangerous as well as uncomfortable to keep up with her. Still, she didn't mind "trotting," and they set off at a brisk pace.
"Don't you just love to be in the stores around Christmas-time?" asked Nan, watching the crowds press and surge about the doorways of some of the most popular shops. "It's so exciting and the things seem so gay and alluring."
"Don't you just love being in the stores around Christmas?" asked Nan, watching the crowds push and surge around the entrances of some of the most popular shops. "It's so exciting, and everything looks so cheerful and appealing."
"Yes, it is very attractive—all the motion and color," replied Miss Blake, "but I don't like crowds, and when I am hemmed in at a counter and can't get away I feel stifled and smothered, and long to scream."
"Yeah, it's really appealing—all the movement and colors," replied Miss Blake, "but I don't like crowds, and when I'm stuck at a counter and can't escape, I feel suffocated and overwhelmed, and I just want to scream."
"Why don't you scream then? I would!" exclaimed Nan, with a laugh. "I'd shriek, 'Air! Air!' and then you'd see how quick the people would let you out."
"Why don’t you just scream? I would!" Nan said with a laugh. "I’d shout, 'Air! Air!' and then you’d see how fast people would let you out."
Miss Blake smiled with what Nan saw was amusement at some just-remembered incident.
Miss Blake smiled with what Nan recognized as amusement at a recently recalled incident.
"I was watching a huge celebration in London one spring," she said. "It was in honor of some royal birthday or something, and the streets were packed with people all eager to get a glimpse of the military parade and the notabilities who were to take part in it. From the window where I sat I could not see an inch of pavement, the crowd was so dense. At last there was a sound of martial music and the First Regiment appeared in full gala array. Oh, I assure you it was very imposing and well worth taking some trouble to see. The crowds pushed and jostled, and beyond the first line or two at the curb no one among them could get more than an occasional glimpse of a stray cockade or a floating banner. Still the people were massed solidly from the gutter to the house-steps. We were wondering where the enjoyment in this came in, and congratulating ourselves that we were not doomed to struggle and fight for space in such a huddle, when suddenly we heard a shrill scream. It was a woman's voice crying, 'Air! Air! Give me air!' In another instant the crowd pushed back a step, and quite a respectably-dressed young person staggered weakly through the line to the curb, as if to get more breathing-space. Of course she could have got this in a much easier way by going in the other direction, but you see her plan was to get a better view of the procession, and she thought that was a good method of accomplishing it. It seemed a clever trick, and she was just settling herself to enjoy her improved position, when quick as a flash an order was given: Two men unrolled one of their army stretchers; the woman was whipped up and placed upon it; the poles were seized and off they went, carrying that misguided creature with them through all the gaping, jeering crowd. The last I saw of her she was hiding her face in the coarse army blanket, probably 'crying her eyes out,' as you would say, with mortification and shame."
"I was watching a massive celebration in London one spring," she said. "It was for some royal birthday or something, and the streets were filled with people all wanting to catch a glimpse of the military parade and the important figures participating in it. From the window where I sat, I couldn't see any pavement; the crowd was so thick. Finally, there was the sound of military music, and the First Regiment appeared in full dress uniform. Oh, I assure you, it was very impressive and worth the trouble to see. The crowds pushed and shoved, and beyond the first couple of lines at the curb, no one could see more than an occasional glimpse of a cockade or a banner. Still, the people were packed solid from the gutter to the steps of the houses. We were questioning where the fun in this was and congratulating ourselves that we weren't stuck struggling for space in such a crowd when suddenly we heard a sharp scream. It was a woman's voice shouting, 'Air! Air! I need air!' In an instant, the crowd stepped back a bit, and a well-dressed young woman staggered weakly through the line to the curb, as if looking for more breathing room. Of course, she could have found that much easier by going in the other direction, but her plan was to get a better view of the procession, and she thought this was a good way to do it. It seemed like a clever move, and she was just getting comfortable to enjoy her new spot when, in a flash, an order was given: Two men rolled out one of their army stretchers; the woman was lifted up and placed on it; the poles were grabbed, and off they went, carrying that unfortunate woman through the gaping, jeering crowd. The last I saw of her, she was hiding her face in the rough army blanket, probably 'crying her eyes out,' as you would say, from embarrassment and shame."
"What a joke!" exclaimed Nan. "Poor thing! She didn't see the parade after all, and I declare she deserved to. That was the time she was in it though, with a vengeance."
"What a joke!" Nan exclaimed. "Poor thing! She didn't see the parade after all, and I can't believe she didn't get to. That was the time she was in it, though, and it was unforgettable."
"Look out for this cab, Nan! Be careful. We cross here. Please don't rush so—I can't keep up with you," pleaded Miss Blake.
"Watch out for this cab, Nan! Be careful. We're crossing here. Please don't rush—I can't keep up with you," Miss Blake pleaded.
The girl gave her shoulders an impatient shrug and drew her eyebrows together in a scowl of irritation. But her face cleared as she saw Miss Blake buying their tickets at the box-office.
The girl shrugged her shoulders in annoyance and furrowed her brows in a frustrated scowl. But her expression brightened when she saw Miss Blake purchasing their tickets at the box office.
"Get them good and up front," she begged. "If we're way back we can't see a thing."
"Make sure we get a good spot up front," she pleaded. "If we're stuck further back, we won't see anything."
The governess hesitated an instant; then a curious expression came over her face and she said, deliberately, "Very well, dear! Up front they shall be."
The governess paused for a moment; then a strange look crossed her face and she said, deliberately, "Alright, dear! They will be up front.”
The house was quite full and Nan thought it a singular piece of good fortune that there were places left just where she would have chosen to sit.
The house was pretty crowded, and Nan thought it was a lucky stroke that there were seats available exactly where she would have picked to sit.
"Just think of having come so late and yet being able to get the best seats in the house," she said, exultantly.
"Just imagine showing up so late and still managing to get the best seats in the house," she said, thrilled.
Miss Blake smiled. She understood better than Nan did why the majority of the audience preferred places that were not so near the stage.
Miss Blake smiled. She understood better than Nan why most of the audience preferred seats that were further away from the stage.
Both she and the girl herself soon forgot everything else in their interest in the mysterious tricks that were being performed before their eyes. Of course they knew that all this magic could be explained, but just at the moment it appeared difficult to imagine how. A man seems really no less than a magician who can take a red billiard ball from, no one knows where, out of mid-air, apparently, and suddenly nipping off the end, transform it into two, each equally as large as the first. Presently he thinks you would like to have a third, and, presto! he draws one out from his elbow. Now a white one for a change! But it is easy enough to get a white one. He opens his mouth and there it is, held between his teeth. Then he thinks he will swallow a red one. Pop! it is gone! A moment later he takes it out of the top of his head.
Both she and the girl quickly forgot everything else as they focused on the mysterious tricks happening right in front of them. Of course, they understood that all this magic could be explained, but at that moment, it was hard to imagine how. A man truly seemed like a magician who could pull a red billiard ball out of thin air and, with a quick move, turn it into two, each just as big as the first. Then he thinks you might like a third one, and, voila! he pulls one out from his elbow. Now a white one for a change! But getting a white one is a piece of cake. He opens his mouth, and there it is, held between his teeth. Then he decides to swallow a red one. Poof! it disappears! A moment later, he pulls it out from the top of his head.
Nan noticed that as the performance progressed the tricks grew "curiouser and curiouser," as Alice would say, and the wizard seemed to take his audience more and more into his confidence. He no longer confined himself to the stage, but came tripping down the steps that led from the platform to the middle aisle and addressed, first this one and then that from among his spectators—only Nan again noticed that these always happened to be sitting as they were themselves, in the foremost seats. He induced a man just in front of her to come upon the stage to "assist" him in one of his "experiments," and the girl trembled lest at any moment he might demand a similar favor of her, for though she was reckless enough as a general thing, she had sufficient delicacy to dread being made conspicuous in such a place as this.
Nan noticed that as the performance went on, the tricks became "curiouser and curiouser," as Alice would say, and the wizard seemed to bring his audience into his confidence more and more. He no longer stayed on the stage but came down the steps that led from the platform to the middle aisle, addressing one person and then another from among the spectators—only Nan noticed that these people just happened to be sitting in the front row like herself. He asked a man right in front of her to come up on stage to "assist" him in one of his "experiments," and the girl felt nervous, fearing that at any moment he might ask her to do the same. Even though she was generally pretty bold, she had enough sense to worry about standing out in a place like this.
"O Miss Blake," she whispered in the governess' ear, "can't we move back a little? If he should make me go up there I'd sink through the floor!"
"O Miss Blake," she whispered in the governess's ear, "can't we move back a little? If he makes me go up there, I’ll just sink through the floor!"
"Probably you would. No doubt he would let you down himself—through a trap-door. No, we must stay where we are and we must bear it as best we may. Perhaps he will overlook us."
"Yeah, you probably would. There's no doubt he would ditch you himself—through a trapdoor. No, we need to stick where we are and handle it as best we can. Maybe he'll overlook us."
Nan thought of her hat and the many glances it had drawn to her in the restaurant, and for the first time she had a feeling of mistrust regarding it. Suppose it should fix his eye, with its towering bows and flaming bird-of-paradise! If it did, she would hate it forever after.
Nan thought about her hat and all the looks it had gotten her in the restaurant, and for the first time, she felt a sense of distrust toward it. What if it caught his attention, with its tall bows and bright bird-of-paradise? If that happened, she would loathe it forever after.
But she soon forgot her anxiety in her interest in the wizard himself. Silver pieces were flung in the air and then mysteriously reappeared in the pocket of some unsuspecting member of the audience who was much surprised at seeing them straightway converted into so many gold ones under his very nose. Innocent-looking hoops turned out to possess the most remarkable faculty for resisting all attempts to link them on the part of any one of the spectators, and yet immediately assuming all manner of shapes and positions in the hands of the dexterous magician himself.
But she quickly forgot her worries as she focused on the wizard himself. Silver coins were tossed into the air and then mysteriously showed up in the pocket of some unsuspecting audience member, who was quite surprised to see them instantly turned into gold right in front of them. Innocent-looking hoops turned out to have an incredible ability to resist any attempts by the spectators to link them together, while they effortlessly transformed into all sorts of shapes and positions in the hands of the skilled magician.
At last a shallow cabinet was set upon two chairs in the centre of the stage, and after a word or two of explanation, the wizard drew first one chair and then the other from beneath it, and lo! the magic cupboard remained poised in midair, without any visible means of support whatever.
At last, a shallow cabinet was placed on two chairs in the center of the stage. After a few words of explanation, the wizard pulled out one chair and then the other from underneath it, and suddenly, the magic cupboard was hovering in midair, with no visible means of support at all.
"You see, ladies and gentlemen," announced the suave magician, "this cabinet is bare; precisely like Mother Hubbard's immortal cupboard. Can you see anything there? No! I thought not. Now I will place within it these bells, so; and this tambourine, so; also this empty slate. You see it is empty. It is quite a simple slate, such as any school-child would use, and its sides are entirely bare. Now I close the doors of the cabinet, so; wave my wand, so; and—"
"You see, everyone," the charming magician announced, "this cabinet is empty; just like Mother Hubbard's famous cupboard. Can you see anything inside? No! I figured as much. Now I'll put these bells in here, like this; and this tambourine, like this; and also this empty slate. You see, it's empty. It's just a simple slate, like any school kid would use, and its sides are completely bare. Now I close the cabinet doors, like this; wave my wand, like this; and—"
Immediately there followed the sounds of ringing bells and rattling tambourine, while in a moment all of these instruments came flying out of the top of the cabinet as if they had been vigorously flung aloft by hidden hands. The smiling magician stepped forward, opened the doors of the cabinet with a flourish, and lo! it was empty save for the slate, which proved to be covered over with scribbled characters, and which he politely handed down to persons in the audience for examination.
Immediately, the sounds of ringing bells and rattling tambourines filled the air, and in an instant, all those instruments shot out from the top of the cabinet as if hidden hands had tossed them up forcefully. The smiling magician stepped forward, dramatically opened the cabinet doors, and behold! It was empty except for the slate, which was covered in scribbled symbols, and he politely passed it down to the audience for inspection.
Nan was completely bewildered and so lost to all that was going on about her that she did not realize that the wizard was tripping down the stage steps and making his way affably up the middle aisle again. It was only when he spoke once more that she woke with a great start, and then to her horror she found he was addressing her.
Nan was totally confused and so out of touch with everything happening around her that she didn't notice the wizard happily walking down the stage steps and making his way up the middle aisle again. It was only when he spoke again that she suddenly snapped back to reality, and to her shock, she realized he was talking to her.
"I am sure this young lady will not refuse me the loan of her hat for my next experiment," he began with a persuasive smile. "I assure you, Miss, I will not injure it in the least. You won't object, will you?" and he held out his hand engagingly.
"I’m sure this young woman won't say no to lending me her hat for my next experiment," he started with a charming smile. "I promise, Miss, I won't damage it at all. You don't mind, do you?" and he extended his hand in a friendly way.
The girl stiffened against the back of her chair, so disconcerted that she felt actually dizzy.
The girl tensed up against the back of her chair, so unsettled that she felt genuinely dizzy.
"Give him your hat," bade Miss Blake, quickly, as if to put an end to their really painful conspicuousness.
"Give him your hat," Miss Blake urged quickly, as if to end their painfully obvious awkwardness.
Nan obeyed blindly. The smiling magician took it with a profound bow and held it up for all the audience to see.
Nan followed without question. The smiling magician accepted it with a deep bow and raised it for the entire audience to see.
"Now you perceive, ladies and gentlemen," he remarked, "that there is nothing mysterious about this hat. At least I am sure the ladies do. To the gentlemen it doubtless seems very mysterious, but that is because they do not understand the art of millinery." As he spoke he made his way up the aisle and to the steps that led to the stage. "It is a beautiful hat. Very elaborate and of a most stylish shape, as you see, but not at all mysterious. Yet I mean to make it serve me in a very interesting experiment, which I think you will admit is exceedingly won—"
"Now you all see, ladies and gentlemen," he said, "that there's nothing mysterious about this hat. At least I'm sure the ladies do. To the gentlemen, it probably seems quite mysterious, but that's because they don't grasp the art of hat-making." As he spoke, he walked up the aisle and to the steps leading to the stage. "It's a beautiful hat. Very detailed and stylish in shape, as you can see, but not mysterious at all. Still, I plan to use it for a really interesting experiment, which I think you'll agree is incredibly won—"
But just here he stumbled upon one of the steps, and in trying to recover himself let Nan's cherished head-gear fall and brought his whole weight upon it, crushing it out of all recognition.
But just then he tripped over one of the steps, and while trying to steady himself, he knocked Nan's beloved headpiece down and landed heavily on it, ruining it beyond all recognition.
"Oh, dear, dear! What have I done?" he deplored in sincerest dismay.
"Oh no! What have I done?" he said in genuine distress.
Miss Blake's eyes fell and Nan's lips whitened. Every one was looking at them now, and the magician was making them even more conspicuous by apologizing to them over and over again in the most abject fashion.
Miss Blake's gaze dropped, and Nan's lips turned pale. Everyone was staring at them now, and the magician was making them even more noticeable by repeatedly apologizing to them in the most submissive way.
"How could I be so awkward! Such a beautiful hat and ruined through my carelessness. I have no words to describe my regret. Do forgive me! But I promised to return your property to you uninjured, did I not, Miss? So, of course, I must keep my word." He held the battered mass of ribbons and bird-of-paradise high above his head as he spoke, and then went forward and placed a pistol in the hand of his assistant on the stage. The man retired to a distance and the wizard held the hat at arm's length as if for a target.
"How could I be so clumsy! Such a lovely hat, and I've ruined it with my carelessness. I can't even express how sorry I am. Please forgive me! But I promised to return your belongings to you in perfect condition, didn't I, Miss? So, of course, I have to keep my promise." He raised the damaged pile of ribbons and bird-of-paradise feathers above his head as he spoke, then moved forward and handed a pistol to his assistant on stage. The man stepped back, and the wizard held the hat out at arm's length as if it were a target.
"Now, ready? Then—shoot!"
"Ready? Then—shoot!"
A second for aim: a report; and the smiling Callmann stepped forward with the hat in his hand, quite whole again and unimpaired.
A second aim: a report; and the smiling Callmann stepped forward with his hat in hand, completely whole and unharmed.
A shudder ran through Nan as she heard the applause and saw her property held up to public view. She dared not turn her head to look at Miss Blake, and she hardly heard the wizard's voice as he asked to be permitted to use the hat for still another experiment, and she scarcely saw how he placed it on a table, a perfectly innocent looking table, and then proceeded to take from it a multitude of things—from a gold watch to a clucking hen.
A shiver went through Nan as she heard the applause and saw her belongings on display for everyone to see. She couldn't bring herself to look at Miss Blake, and she barely heard the wizard's voice as he asked if he could use the hat for one more experiment. She hardly noticed how he put it on a completely ordinary-looking table, then began pulling out a bunch of items—from a gold watch to a clucking hen.
When the hen came to light the audience fairly shouted, and Nan thought she could never in the world get up courage to set that hat on her head again and walk out before the eyes of these quizzical people.
When the hen appeared, the audience erupted in cheers, and Nan felt there was no way she could ever gather the courage to put that hat back on her head and walk out in front of those teasing people again.
"They'll laugh at me all the way," she thought moodily. "And if they ever see me in the street they'll say, 'There goes that trick hat! The one the hen came out of!' I wish it was in Jericho!"
"They're going to laugh at me the whole way," she thought gloomily. "And if they ever see me in the street, they'll say, 'There goes that ridiculous hat! The one that the hen came out of!' I wish it was in Jericho!"
Miss Blake comforted her as best she could with little hidden pressures of the hand and whispered words of sympathy, but the rest of the performance was torture to them both, and when, at last, it was over and they were well on their way home, Nan heaved a great sigh of relief and tried to summon back her courage by declaring that "I don't care if they did laugh when that hen clucked inside it and he said he was afraid this was what might be called 'a loud hat!' It's heaps better than lots I saw on other girls, so there!"
Miss Blake tried to comfort her as best she could with small gestures and whispered words of support, but the rest of the event was painful for both of them. When it finally ended, and they were on their way home, Nan let out a huge sigh of relief and tried to regain her confidence by saying, "I don’t care if they laughed when that hen clucked inside it and he said it might be called 'a loud hat!' It’s way better than a lot of what I saw on other girls, so there!"
"I am glad you are satisfied with it," said Miss Blake, simply.
"I’m glad you’re happy with it," said Miss Blake, straightforwardly.
CHAPTER X
EXPERIENCES
For the first time since Nan could remember, the house was full of the air of Christmas preparation. Of course she had always had presents, and she never failed to give Delia a gift, but there was no scent of mystery about the holiday celebration; no delicious odor of a hidden Christmas tree; no sense of unseen tokens; nothing to distinguish the time from an ordinary birthday anniversary. But this year everything was changed, and Nan was as much occupied with her own secrets and surprises as either Miss Blake or Delia, who whispered and dodged and smiled cunningly all day long in the most perplexing manner. But she confined her preparations to her own room, while the governess apparently needed the library and all the rest of the house, too, and Nan found herself barred out of Miss Blake's room by her own stubborn pride which still forbade her to go in without a formal invitation. She was also locked out of the library which was now being made festive for the coming holiday, so that at times she wandered about quite helplessly in a sort of forlorn state of having nowhere to turn.
For the first time in as long as Nan could remember, the house was filled with the spirit of Christmas preparation. Sure, she had always received presents, and she never skipped giving Delia a gift, but there was never any sense of mystery around the celebration. There wasn't the delightful smell of a hidden Christmas tree, nor any sense of unseen surprises; nothing that set this time apart from an ordinary birthday. But this year everything was different, and Nan found herself as caught up in her own secrets and surprises as Miss Blake or Delia, who whispered, dodged, and smiled slyly all day long in the most confusing ways. However, she kept her preparations to her own room, while the governess seemed to take over the library and the rest of the house, and Nan found herself locked out of Miss Blake's room because of her stubborn pride, which still stopped her from entering without a formal invitation. She was also shut out of the library, which was being decorated for the upcoming holiday, and at times, she wandered around feeling a bit lost, not knowing where to go.
She had fallen into the habit of running over to the Newton's while Ruth was sick, and she proved such a tender nurse and entertaining companion that the child's mother looked forward with relief to her visits, and only wished she would come oftener.
She had gotten into the habit of running over to the Newtons' while Ruth was sick, and she was such a caring nurse and fun companion that the child's mother looked forward to her visits with relief and only wished she would come more often.
"She keeps Ruth so happy and contented. It gives me a free minute to turn 'round in, and is a real comfort."
"She makes Ruth so happy and content. It gives me a moment to myself, and it's a real comfort."
"I thought you would find her helpful," responded Miss Blake. "She loves children, and they know it and love her back again. She is very gentle with them, and I know you may trust her, for she is as true as steel."
"I thought you would find her helpful," replied Miss Blake. "She loves kids, and they know it and love her back. She's really gentle with them, and I know you can trust her because she's as reliable as they come."
"She's a changed girl, that's the whole truth of the matter. You've simply tamed her, the young savage!"
"She's a different person now, that's the whole truth. You've just tamed her, you young wild thing!"
"Oh, Nan has a fine nature. All she needs is judicious training. If I were not sure of that I should despair many and many a time. She needs judicious training and a world of patience and love."
"Oh, Nan has a great personality. All she needs is some careful guidance. If I weren't sure of that, I would have lost hope many times. She needs thoughtful training and a lot of patience and love."
Mrs. Newton dropped her work into her lap and looked up earnestly into the governess' face.
Mrs. Newton put her work in her lap and looked up intently at the governess's face.
"Yes, I can believe it. What a rash, head-long sort of creature you must think me! Why, I was as bad as Nan herself, to go over there and simply browbeat her as I did! Do you suppose she will ever really forgive me?"
"Yeah, I can believe it. You must think I'm such a reckless, impulsive person! I was just as bad as Nan herself for going over there and just bullying her like I did! Do you think she'll ever really forgive me?"
"I'm sure she has done so already. Nan is generous. She does not bear malice. She has a vast amount of pride but as yet she does not know how to use it."
"I'm sure she has already done that. Nan is kind. She doesn't hold grudges. She has a lot of pride, but she still doesn't know how to use it."
"I should think it would be enough to break down your health—such constant care and responsibility. It is Nan's salvation to have you with her, but do you think you can hold out?"
"I think it would be enough to ruin your health—having that much constant care and responsibility. It’s Nan’s lifesaver to have you with her, but do you really think you can keep going?"
Miss Blake pondered a moment and then nodded her head decidedly. "I will hold out," she said staunchly.
Miss Blake thought for a moment and then nodded her head with determination. "I will stand firm," she said confidently.
"You don't know how boisterous she was, and how it shocked me! At last I grew frenzied, and when Ruth was brought in to me injured in that way, through her fault, I supposed, I lost control of myself entirely, and felt that, come what might, the girl must be attended to. There's no doubt of it, your Nan is improved, and if this neighborhood is not made miserable by her piercing war-cries, her hairbreadth adventures, and her eccentric behavior generally, it is all owing to you. But here she comes herself! Put away your work! Quick!"
"You have no idea how loud she was, and how it surprised me! Eventually, I became frantic, and when Ruth was brought to me hurt like that, supposedly because of her own actions, I completely lost it and felt that no matter what happened, the girl needed help. There's no doubt about it, your Nan has changed for the better, and if this neighborhood isn’t driven crazy by her loud outbursts, her risky escapades, and her quirky behavior in general, it’s all thanks to you. But here she comes! Put your work away! Hurry!"
Nan knocked politely at the open door.
Nan knocked politely at the open door.
"Oh, come in, dear!" said Mrs. Newton cordially, and the governess looked at her encouragingly and smiled.
"Oh, come in, dear!" Mrs. Newton said warmly, and the governess gave her an encouraging look and smiled.
"Bridget told me to come right up," explained Nan. "Is Ruth out?"
"Bridget told me to come right up," Nan explained. "Is Ruth around?"
"No, taking a nap in the nursery. She'll be awake soon now, I'm sure. Take off your things and sit down."
"No, she's taking a nap in the nursery. She'll be awake soon, I'm sure. Take off your stuff and sit down."
"Won't I be in the way?"
"Am I going to be a problem?"
Mrs. Newton patted her on the shoulder. "No, my dear, you won't. On the contrary, it will be very pleasant to have you here to take a cup of tea with Miss Blake and me; will you excuse me a moment while I go and call Katy to bring it up?"
Mrs. Newton patted her on the shoulder. "No, my dear, you won’t. On the contrary, it will be very nice to have you here for a cup of tea with Miss Blake and me; will you excuse me for a moment while I go call Katy to bring it up?"
"I thought you were in your room," said Nan to Miss Blake as their hostess left the room.
"I thought you were in your room," Nan said to Miss Blake as their hostess left the room.
"Did you need me? Why didn't you knock? What was it you wanted me to do?"
"Did you need me? Why didn't you knock? What do you want me to do?"
"Oh, nothing. I didn't need you—that is, there wasn't anything I wanted you to do, only—it seemed kind of lonely, and so I came over here."
"Oh, nothing. I didn't need you—there wasn't anything I wanted you to do, it just felt a bit lonely, so I came over here."
"And I thought you would be locked in your own room for the rest of the afternoon. How dreadfully mysterious we all are nowadays."
"And I thought you’d be stuck in your room for the rest of the afternoon. How incredibly mysterious we all are these days."
Nan laughed. She got out of her coat with a tug and a squirm and flung it on the lounge. Then she wrenched off her hat (the Sternberg affair) and tossed it carelessly after the coat.
Nan laughed. She pulled off her coat with a tug and a wiggle and tossed it onto the couch. Then she yanked off her hat (the Sternberg thing) and threw it carelessly after the coat.
Miss Blake bent over and straightened the untidy heap without a word.
Miss Blake bent down and straightened the messy pile without saying a word.
"Delia is making mince pie-lets for dinner," announced Nan.
"Delia is making mini mince pies for dinner," announced Nan.
"How jolly of her!" said Miss Blake.
"How cheerful of her!" said Miss Blake.
"Huh!" exclaimed Nan. "She said you told her to."
"Huh!" Nan said. "She said you told her to."
The governess smiled.
The nanny smiled.
Mrs. Newton came in a moment later and after her Katy with the tea-tray.
Mrs. Newton walked in a moment later, followed by Katy carrying the tea tray.
Nan sprawled down on the rug in complete comfort while Miss Blake and Mrs. Newton sipped their tea and talked of all sorts of things, to which she hardly listened.
Nan lounged on the rug, feeling completely relaxed, while Miss Blake and Mrs. Newton enjoyed their tea and chatted about various topics, which she barely paid attention to.
She was full of her own thoughts, and somehow they were all connected with the governess. In fact, her influence seemed to pervade everything, and Nan often wondered how the house would seem without her, now that they had "sort of got used to having her around." Without a doubt she made herself useful. And somehow she managed to make people depend on her in spite of themselves. And yet she never made a fuss or exaggerated the things she did. She was always doing "little things "—little things that didn't make any show, and yet they were so kind they "sort of made you like her whether you wanted to or not." This thought came upon Nan with a start, that roused her from her musing and made her sit bolt upright with surprise. Had Miss Blake made her like her, then? After all the reproaches she had cast upon Delia was she no better than a turn-coat herself?
She was caught up in her own thoughts, and somehow they were all linked to the governess. In fact, her influence seemed to seep into everything, and Nan often wondered how the house would feel without her, now that they had "kind of gotten used to having her around." There was no doubt she was helpful. And somehow she managed to make people rely on her despite themselves. Yet, she never made a big deal or exaggerated what she did. She was always doing "little things"—small acts that didn't draw attention, but were so kind that they "kind of made you like her whether you wanted to or not." This realization hit Nan suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts and making her sit up straight in surprise. Had Miss Blake made her like her, then? After all the criticism she had directed at Delia, was she no better than a traitor herself?
"We had ours built in before we came into the house," Mrs. Newton was saying. "It is a vast improvement. I wouldn't be without it for the world."
"We had ours installed before we moved in," Mrs. Newton was saying. "It's a huge improvement. I wouldn't want to live without it for anything."
Nan pricked up her ears. She wondered what this desirable thing might be.
Nan perked up. She wondered what this appealing thing could be.
"Who did the work?" Miss Blake asked.
"Who did the work?" Miss Blake asked.
"Buchanan. And I'll say this for him, he did it well. I haven't a fault to find. I think you'd be satisfied with him."
"Buchanan. And I’ll give him credit; he did it well. I don’t have any complaints. I think you’d be happy with him."
"A person doesn't like to put a piece of work like that into the hands of a man one knows nothing about," resumed Miss Blake. "I'm glad to profit by your experience. It may save me, too, a great deal of worry and no little expense."
"A person doesn't want to hand over a piece of work like that to someone they don't know," Miss Blake continued. "I’m grateful to benefit from your experience. It might save me a lot of stress and quite a bit of money."
"Oh, yes," returned Mrs. Newton. "If one can economize on experience it's a great satisfaction. It's the best school I know of. But it's so expensive that it ruins some of us before we're done."
"Oh, absolutely," Mrs. Newton replied. "If you can save on experience, it’s such a relief. It’s the best teacher I know. But it’s so costly that it breaks some of us before we’re finished."
"What's the best school you know of?" asked Nan, curiously.
"What's the best school you know?" Nan asked, curious.
"Experience," replied Miss Blake.
"Experience," replied Ms. Blake.
"Oh!"
"Oh!"
"Yes; and it's a school we all have to go to at one time or another," put in Mrs. Newton. "But we might make it a good deal easier for ourselves sometimes if we'd take hints from our friends who have graduated."
"Yes; and it's a school we all have to attend at some point," added Mrs. Newton. "But we could make it a lot easier on ourselves if we took advice from our friends who have already graduated."
"Have you graduated?" Nan asked, half in fun, turning to Miss Blake.
"Did you graduate?" Nan asked playfully, turning to Miss Blake.
But Mrs. Newton broke in before the governess could reply for herself. "Graduated! Well, I should think so! Why, she has carried off honors! She has taken a diploma—with a ribbon 'round it!"
But Mrs. Newton interrupted before the governess could speak for herself. "Graduated! Of course! She has achieved honors! She received a diploma—with a ribbon around it!"
Miss Blake laughed. "Nothing of the sort, Nan. I've had a few lessons, that is all."
Miss Blake laughed. "Nothing like that, Nan. I've just had a few lessons, that's all."
"Oh, tell about some of them, won't you?" cried Nan, eagerly. "It would be lots of fun."
"Oh, can you tell us about some of them, please?" Nan exclaimed eagerly. "That would be so much fun."
The governess considered.
The governess thought.
"Well, yes. I will tell you of the very first lesson I can remember, if you care to hear," she answered, with a wistful smile. "I won't promise it will be 'lots of fun,' though."
"Sure, I can tell you about the first lesson I remember, if you want to listen," she replied with a nostalgic smile. "I can’t promise it will be 'super fun,' though."
"Never mind! Tell it!" And Nan settled herself more comfortably against the governess' knee quite as if that person were, in reality, her prop and stay, instead of being only some one she "sort of liked in spite of herself."
"Never mind! Just tell it!" And Nan got more comfortable against the governess's knee as if that person were actually her support, rather than just someone she "kind of liked despite herself."
"I think it must have been the first real experience I ever had," began Miss Blake, musingly. "At least it is the first one I recollect. I was the littlest bit of a girl when my mother died; too young to realize it, and my father scarcely outlived her a week. He died very suddenly. They used to tell me that he died from grief. Anyway, he was sitting at his desk looking over some important papers connected with my mother's affairs, when suddenly he put his hand to his heart, gave a faint gasp—and was gone."
"I think that was the first real experience I ever had," Miss Blake started, deep in thought. "At least, it's the first one I remember. I was just a little girl when my mother died; too young to really understand it, and my father barely lasted a week after her. He passed away very suddenly. They used to say he died from grief. Anyway, he was sitting at his desk going over some important papers related to my mother's business when suddenly he clutched his chest, gave a faint gasp—and he was gone."
"What an elegant way to die!" broke in Nan impulsively.
"What a classy way to die!" Nan exclaimed impulsively.
Mrs. Newton gave an exclamation of real horror at her flippancy.
Mrs. Newton exclaimed in genuine horror at her casual attitude.
"Oh, you know what I mean!" the girl hastened to protest. "I think it must be worlds better than being sick, or hurt in an accident, or any of those dreadful, lingering deaths."
"Oh, you know what I mean!" the girl quickly protested. "I think it has to be way better than being sick, or hurt in an accident, or any of those awful, drawn-out deaths."
"After that I was given over into the charge of some distant connections of my father," continued the governess. "They were good, conscientious people, but they had no children of their own, and did not like other people's. I presume I was not a very captivating baby."
"After that, I was passed into the care of some distant relatives of my father," the governess continued. "They were good, responsible people, but they had no kids of their own and didn't really like other people's children. I guess I wasn't a very charming baby."
Nan straightened up suddenly. "I bet you were, though," she interrupted. "You must have been a dot of a thing, with crinkly hair and dimples, and mites of hands and feet. I should think they would have loved you—I mean, a poor little lonely baby like you."
Nan straightened up suddenly. "I bet you were, though," she interrupted. "You must have been a tiny thing, with curly hair and dimples, and little hands and feet. I can imagine they would have loved you—I mean, a poor little lonely baby like you."
Miss Blake smiled. "Well, however that was, Nan, I was brought up very strictly, and I assure you, I was made to mind my P's and Q's. One could not trifle with Aunt Rebecca! Well, one morning I was sitting at the foot of the staircase playing house. I can see myself now, squatting on the lowest step, my fat little legs scarcely long enough to reach the floor. I had on a checked gingham pinafore, and my hair was drawn tight behind my ears and braided into two tiny tails with red ribbons on the ends. I knew it was against the rule to play house in the hall, anywhere, in fact, but in my own little room—with the doors shut, but somehow I felt reckless that day, and when I heard Aunt Rebecca walking to and fro, just above my head, I didn't scamper off as I ordinarily would have done; I just sat still and said to myself, 'I don't care! I don't care!' It seemed to give me a lot of courage, and I wasn't a bit afraid, even when Aunt Rebecca's footsteps came nearer, and I knew she could see me from the top of the stairs. Indeed, I grew mightily brave; so brave, that after a couple of minutes I raised my voice and piped out: 'Aunt Becca! Aunt Becca!'
Miss Blake smiled. "Well, no matter what happened, Nan, I was raised very strictly, and I assure you, I was taught to be on my best behavior. You couldn't mess around with Aunt Rebecca! So one morning, I was sitting at the bottom of the staircase playing house. I can picture it now, sitting on the lowest step, my chubby little legs barely reaching the floor. I was wearing a checked gingham pinafore, and my hair was pulled back tight behind my ears, braided into two tiny pigtails with red ribbons on the ends. I knew it was against the rules to play house in the hallway—anywhere, in fact, except in my own room with the doors shut—but for some reason, I felt daring that day. When I heard Aunt Rebecca walking back and forth just above me, I didn’t run away like I usually would have; I just sat there and told myself, 'I don’t care! I don’t care!' It gave me a boost of courage, and I wasn’t scared at all, even when Aunt Rebecca's footsteps got closer, and I knew she could see me from the top of the stairs. In fact, I got really brave; so brave that after a couple of minutes, I raised my voice and called out: 'Aunt Becca! Aunt Becca!'
"'Well,' answered she, 'what is it? what do you want?'
"'Well,' she replied, 'what is it? What do you want?'"
"Even the severity of her voice didn't dismay me that rash morning.
"Even the harshness of her voice didn't unsettle me that reckless morning."
"'I want Lilly,' said I, airily. Lilly was my precious doll. 'She's in her little chair in my room; won't you please to pitch me Lilly?'
"'I want Lilly,' I said casually. Lilly was my cherished doll. 'She's in her little chair in my room; could you please pass me Lilly?'"
"For a moment Aunt Rebecca hesitated. I think she must have been petrified by my audacity. But she recovered herself and turned, and without a word went to my room and got Lilly from her 'little chair.' I was as complacent as if it had been quite the usual thing for Aunt Rebecca to fetch and carry for me. Indeed, perhaps I imagined I was instituting a new order of things, and that in future she would do my errands, instead of I hers.
For a moment, Aunt Rebecca hesitated. I think she must have been shocked by my boldness. But she pulled herself together and went to my room without saying a word, then got Lilly from her 'little chair.' I was as relaxed as if it were completely normal for Aunt Rebecca to run errands for me. In fact, maybe I thought I was starting a new trend, where she would do my errands instead of me doing hers.
"She came back to the head of the stairway and I looked up pleasantly, half-expecting, I suppose, that she would come down and deliver my darling dolly safely into my hands. But she didn't. If I were giving orders she would obey me to the letter. She 'pitched me Lilly.' I gave a dismal wail of dismay as I saw my dear baby come hurtling through the air, but when she landed on her blessed head, and I heard the crack of breaking china, I just abandoned myself to grief and howled desperately. Aunt Rebecca went about her business as if nothing had happened, and by and by I stole off with my ruined dolly and cried to myself in the back yard—because I had no one else to cry to."
"She came back to the top of the stairs, and I looked up happily, half-expecting her to come down and hand my beloved doll to me. But she didn’t. If I were giving orders, she would’ve followed them perfectly. She 'pitched me Lilly.' I let out a miserable wail as I watched my dear doll fly through the air, but when she landed on her poor head and I heard the sound of breaking china, I just gave in to my sadness and cried uncontrollably. Aunt Rebecca went about her chores as if nothing had happened, and eventually, I sneaked off with my broken doll and cried to myself in the backyard—because I had no one else to cry to."
"You poor little thing!" burst out Nan, indignantly. "What a detestable woman! As if she could have expected such a baby to know!"
"You poor little thing!" Nan exclaimed, indignantly. "What a horrible woman! As if she could have thought such a child would know!"
"You're wrong, Nan!" the governess said. "It was a wholesome lesson, and I am grateful to Aunt Rebecca for having given it to me."
"You're mistaken, Nan!" the governess said. "It was a valuable lesson, and I'm thankful to Aunt Rebecca for teaching it to me."
"Well, I shouldn't think you would be," insisted the girl rebelliously. "The idea of her expecting such a mite to understand!"
"Well, I don't think you would be," the girl insisted defiantly. "The idea of her expecting such a tiny thing to understand!"
"Ah, but you see I did understand. And I have never forgotten it. I have never asked any one to 'pitch me Lilly' since that day—I mean never when I could go and get her myself."
"Ah, but you see I did understand. And I have never forgotten it. I have never asked anyone to 'pitch me Lilly' since that day—I mean never when I could go and get her myself."
Nan pondered over it moodily for a moment. "And did you have to stay in that house until you were grown up?" she demanded.
Nan thought about it gloomily for a moment. "Did you really have to stay in that house until you were grown up?" she asked.
"Oh, no! When I was about your age I went to boarding-school, and everything was changed and different after that."
"Oh, no! When I was around your age, I went to boarding school, and everything changed after that."
"How?"
"How?"
"Well, I made dear, faithful friends who took me to their hearts and who made my life rich with their love. All that other hungry, empty time was over, and for many years I never knew what it was to feel sad or lonely, or to have a wish that would not have been gladly gratified if it could be."
"Well, I made dear, loyal friends who welcomed me into their hearts and filled my life with their love. All that other hungry, empty time was behind me, and for many years, I never experienced sadness or loneliness, or had a wish that wouldn't have been happily fulfilled if it could be."
"Now they were something like!" ejaculated Nan. "Dear me! I should think you would have been sorry when you got through school."
"Wow, they were something like that!" exclaimed Nan. "Oh my! I would imagine you felt regretful once you finished school."
Miss Blake made no reply. She put up her hand to shield her eyes from the glare of the fire, and for a second or two there was a deep hush in the room. Nan was the first to break the silence.
Miss Blake didn’t respond. She raised her hand to shield her eyes from the bright light of the fire, and for a moment, the room was completely silent. Nan was the first to speak up.
"Goodness!" she cried, springing to her feet with a bound. "It's as dark as a pocket outside, and Delia'll think we're lost or something if we don't go home."
"Wow!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "It's pitch black outside, and Delia will think we're lost or something if we don't head back."
Miss Blake surreptitiously gathered her work together and slipped it into her bag. "Yes, we must scamper," she exclaimed, as she turned to help Nan on with her coat.
Miss Blake quietly collected her work and stuffed it into her bag. "Yeah, we should hurry," she said as she turned to help Nan with her coat.
"Dear, dear, what a gorgeous hat!" exclaimed Mrs. Newton, as the girl set it carelessly upon her head.
"Wow, what a beautiful hat!" exclaimed Mrs. Newton, as the girl tossed it carelessly on her head.
Nan looked sheepish. "I'm glad you like it!" she ventured clumsily.
Nan looked embarrassed. "I'm really happy you like it!" she said awkwardly.
Mrs. Newton did not respond that she had not said she liked it. She busied herself with Miss Blake and her wraps, and replied merely, "It's a remarkable gay affair."
Mrs. Newton didn't say that she hadn't liked it. She focused on Miss Blake and her wraps, and simply replied, "It's a really impressive event."
Then she kissed the governess "Good-night," and saw both her and Nan safely to the door.
Then she kissed the governess "Good-night" and escorted both her and Nan safely to the door.
The two hastened across the street to see which could get out of the wind first.
The two rushed across the street to see who could escape the wind first.
"I beat!" panted the girl, as she stood in the vestibule and saw Miss Blake breathlessly climb the last step.
"I won!" panted the girl, as she stood in the entryway and watched Miss Blake breathlessly climb the last step.
"Yes, you beat! Fair and square!" admitted the governess as Delia let them in, chattering and shivering, from the chilly air.
"Yes, you won! Fair and square!" admitted the governess as Delia let them in, chatting and shivering, from the cold air.
"Who'll beat now, going upstairs?" screamed Nan.
"Who’s going to beat now, going upstairs?" screamed Nan.
Miss Blake made a dash for the first step and the two went flying up in a perfect whirl of laughter and fun.
Miss Blake took off for the first step, and the two of them soared up in a joyful swirl of laughter and fun.
Delia had forgotten to light the gas in Nan's room and the girl stumbled about blindly, crashing into the furniture and casting off her coat and hat in her old headlong fashion, not stopping to think of all Miss Blake's warnings on the subject, but just hurrying to get down stairs and "beat" the governess in another race.
Delia had forgotten to turn on the gas in Nan's room, and the girl stumbled around blindly, bumping into the furniture and tossing off her coat and hat in her usual reckless way. She didn’t stop to consider all of Miss Blake's warnings about it; she just rushed to get downstairs and "beat" the governess in another race.
"Clean hands! Smooth hair, and a neat dress for dinner!" sang out the governess gayly.
"Clean hands! Smooth hair and a nice dress for dinner!" the governess cheerfully called out.
Nan shrugged her shoulders in the dark and made a lunge at the mantelpiece for a match. She struck it and lit the gas, swinging off to the washstand as soon as it was done.
Nan shrugged her shoulders in the dark and lunged for a match on the mantelpiece. She struck it, lit the gas, and quickly moved to the washstand as soon as it was done.
Suddenly Miss Blake heard a shriek, a rush of feet across the floor, and then Nan's voice exclaiming "Great Scott!" in a tone that was a cross between a laugh and a cry.
Suddenly, Miss Blake heard a scream, a flurry of footsteps across the floor, and then she heard Nan's voice exclaiming, "Wow!" in a tone that was a mix of laughter and tears.
She did not wait a moment but hurried instantly to the girl's door.
She didn't hesitate for a second and rushed straight to the girl's door.
Nan was standing beside the gas fixture, and in her hand was her cherished hat—a ruined mass of smoldering felt and charred plumage.
Nan was standing next to the gas fixture, and in her hand was her beloved hat—a wreck of smoldering felt and burnt feathers.
"Nan!" exclaimed Miss Blake, horrified at the sight.
"Nan!" shouted Miss Blake, shocked by what she saw.
"I know it! Isn't it awful! I just slung it on the globe as I always do, and—and—when I lit the gas I forgot all about it, and it was ablaze in a minute. Don't say a word! I know you've told me hundreds of times not to put it there. But I forgot, and—O dear! what'll I wear on my head the rest of the winter? But it is too funny!"
"I know it! Isn't it terrible! I just threw it on the globe like I always do, and—and—when I turned on the gas, I totally forgot about it, and it was on fire in a minute. Don’t say anything! I know you've told me a hundred times not to put it there. But I forgot, and—oh no! What am I going to wear on my head for the rest of the winter? But it is so funny!"
Miss Blake tried to look stern.
Miss Blake tried to look serious.
"I'm heartily sorry you've lost your hat, Nan," she said, kindly, without a hint of reproach in her voice. "You were so fond of it. I'm really very sorry, dear!"
"I'm really sorry you lost your hat, Nan," she said warmly, without any hint of blame in her voice. "You loved it so much. I truly feel bad about it, dear!"
Nan checked her laughter. She let the hat fall to the floor. A sudden impulse seized her, and she strode up the governess and took her by the shoulders.
Nan stifled her laughter. She let the hat drop to the floor. A sudden urge overtook her, and she walked up to the governess and grabbed her by the shoulders.
"You're a real dear not to say 'I told you so!'" she cried. "And you haven't jeered at me, though I know you hated the hat from the start. And now I'm going to tell you something—two things! First: I'm never going to hang up my clothes on the gas again, honestly! And second: I hated the old thing, too. The minute I bought it I hated it, and I've hated it ever since."
"You're really sweet for not saying 'I told you so!'" she exclaimed. "And you haven't mocked me, even though I know you disliked the hat from the beginning. Now I'm going to share something with you—two things! First: I'm never hanging my clothes on the gas again, I swear! And second: I hated that old thing, too. The moment I bought it, I hated it, and I've hated it ever since."
Miss Blake looked up, and their eyes met.
Miss Blake looked up, and their eyes locked.
"Good for you, Nan," she said, standing on her tip-toes to pat the girl approvingly on the head. "Good for you! And now it's my turn to confess. Wait a minute!"
"Good for you, Nan," she said, standing on her tiptoes to give the girl an encouraging pat on the head. "Good for you! Now it's my turn to confess. Hold on a second!"
She flew out of the room, and before Nan fairly knew she had gone she was back again, and in her hand was a huge milliner's box.
She rushed out of the room, and before Nan even realized she was gone, she was back again, holding a large hatbox.
"I couldn't help it!" she cried, half apologetically. "I got it that day, just to please myself—and now you'll wear it, won't you, dear? It's very simple, but it is of the best, and it will match your coat, you see."
"I couldn't help it!" she exclaimed, sounding a bit apologetic. "I got it that day just to treat myself—and now you'll wear it, won't you, dear? It's really simple, but it's of the best quality, and it will match your coat, you see."
She untied the string, lifted the sheets of tissue-paper, and displayed what even Nan had to admit was a beautiful hat.
She untied the string, lifted the sheets of tissue paper, and showed off what even Nan had to admit was a stunning hat.
The girl looked at it in silence for a moment; then she ducked down impulsively, and gave the governess a quick, shy kiss upon the cheek.
The girl gazed at it quietly for a moment; then she suddenly ducked down and gave the governess a quick, shy kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you," she said, huskily, with a sort of gulp, and then she ran out of the room as fast as her feet would carry her.
"Thank you," she said, hoarsely, with a bit of a gulp, and then she ran out of the room as fast as she could.
CHAPTER XI
CHRISTMAS
"This is to be a German Christmas," Miss Blake said, "and we're going to celebrate it on Christmas eve. Of all the different customs I've seen I like the German the best. It is so jolly and freundlich, as they say over there."
"This is going to be a German Christmas," Miss Blake said, "and we're going to celebrate it on Christmas Eve. Out of all the different customs I've seen, I like the German one the best. It's so cheerful and friendly, as they say over there."
So on Christmas eve the library doors were thrown open for the first time in days and days, and there stood the most glorious tree that Nan had ever seen. It was decked out with a hundred glistening things and laden down with red apples, yellow oranges, and pounds and pounds of peppermint candy, and barley-sugar figures, pretty to see and delicious to eat, to say nothing of Marzipan, to which the girl was introduced for the first time, and which she found altogether fascinating. Innumerable candles burned gayly among the spreading boughs, and at the very top hovered an angel with outspread, shimmering wings, her hands bearing a garland of glistening tinsel, and her garments ablaze with gold and silver decoration. Grown girl as she was, Nan was delighted. It was all so new and strange; so different from anything she had ever experienced before.
So on Christmas Eve, the library doors were opened for the first time in days, and there stood the most beautiful tree that Nan had ever seen. It was adorned with a hundred shiny decorations and weighed down with red apples, yellow oranges, and tons of peppermint candy, along with barley-sugar figures, which were lovely to look at and delicious to eat—not to mention Marzipan, which she was introduced to for the first time and found completely fascinating. Countless candles burned brightly among the spreading branches, and at the very top floated an angel with outstretched, sparkling wings, her hands holding a garland of shimmering tinsel, and her dress glowing with gold and silver decorations. Even though she was now a grown woman, Nan was thrilled. Everything felt so new and strange; so different from anything she had ever experienced before.
Beside the tree were tables spread with white cloths, and upon these lay the presents, and wonderful presents they proved. Miss Blake and Delia had outdone themselves, and Nan's table was a sight to behold. It seemed to her it held everything she had ever expressed a wish for—except a bicycle, of course.
Beside the tree were tables covered with white cloths, and on them were the gifts, which turned out to be amazing. Miss Blake and Delia had really outdone themselves, and Nan's table was a sight to see. It felt like it contained everything she had ever wished for—except a bicycle, of course.
A pocket-kodak from Miss Blake, a banjo from her father, skates from Delia, she had longed for just such a new pair, and innumerable other articles bearing no giver's name, but coming, every one, from the same generous source Nan knew well enough. She absolutely lost her head in the delight of possessing such an array of treasures.
A pocket Kodak from Miss Blake, a banjo from her dad, skates from Delia—she had really wanted just such a new pair—and countless other items without a name attached, but each one came from the same generous source that Nan knew all too well. She completely lost herself in the joy of having such a collection of treasures.
Her own little offerings seemed to her poor and mean in comparison with this display; but Miss Blake's eyes actually filled with grateful tears at the sight of the half-dozen linen handkerchiefs the girl had marked for her with so much trouble and at the cost of so many hours of recreation, and Delia hugged her rapturously at the sight of the gorgeous dress-pattern that Nan had selected for her "all alone by herself," and that had come out of the saving of more than a half-year's allowance of precious pocket-money.
Her own small gifts felt insignificant compared to this display; but Miss Blake's eyes filled with grateful tears at the sight of the six linen handkerchiefs the girl had painstakingly marked for her, sacrificing so many hours of free time. Delia hugged her joyfully at the sight of the beautiful fabric pattern that Nan had chosen for her "all by herself," which had come from saving more than half a year's worth of precious pocket money.
"Now, Nan!" said Miss Blake, when the first excitement had somewhat subsided, "there is one more surprise that Delia and Mr. Turner and I have planned for you, and as I expect it to arrive at any moment now, and as it is pretty big I want you to help clear away these tables to give it lots of room to move about in. We want to get everything out of the way and all the presents safely stowed aside upstairs so nothing will be broken. While we are going back and forth you may guess what it is, if you like."
"Now, Nan!" said Miss Blake, after the initial excitement had died down a bit, "there's one more surprise that Delia, Mr. Turner, and I have planned for you. It should be arriving any minute now, and since it's pretty big, I need your help to clear these tables to make some space for it. We want to get everything out of the way and safely tuck all the presents away upstairs so nothing gets broken. While we're moving things around, feel free to guess what it is, if you want."
"A bicycle?" ventured Nan, striding upstairs with her kodak in one arm and a bundle of books in the other.
"A bike?" asked Nan, walking up the stairs with her camera in one arm and a stack of books in the other.
"No, it's not a bicycle. Guess again. I'll give you two more," answered the governess, following after her with her load.
"No, it’s not a bicycle. Try again. I’ll give you two more guesses," answered the governess, chasing after her with her burden.
"I know what I want next to a bicycle."
"I know what I want next to a bike."
"What?"
"What did you say?"
"I don't like to say."
"I'd rather not say."
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Well, you know," hesitated the girl, "if I said what it was, and if what you've got turned out something different, you might feel disappointed because you might think I did."
"Well, you know," the girl hesitated, "if I told you what it was, and if what you have turned out to be something different, you might feel let down because you might think I did."
Miss Blake smiled. "That's a generous thought, Nan," she said; "but I give you free leave to speak out."
Miss Blake smiled. "That's a nice thought, Nan," she said; "but I give you permission to speak your mind."
Even now the girl hesitated, and stood awkwardly balancing herself against the baluster-rail. "Even if you wanted to you couldn't give it to me," she blurted out, at length.
Even now the girl hesitated, standing awkwardly as she leaned against the baluster-rail. "Even if you wanted to, you couldn't give it to me," she finally said.
"Why?" repeated Miss Blake.
"Why?" Miss Blake asked again.
"Because—oh, because—it wouldn't come," she cried, with a rueful laugh.
"Because—oh, because—it just wouldn't come," she cried, with a bittersweet laugh.
"Now that sounds ominous," exclaimed the governess, as she and Nan started on their last trip. "It sounds as if you wanted a horse, or something of that sort, that might prove balky."
"That sounds foreboding," exclaimed the governess, as she and Nan began their final trip. "It sounds like you want a horse, or something like that, which might be stubborn."
"No, it isn't a horse. But it's balky enough, if that's all."
"No, it's not a horse. But it sure is stubborn enough, if that's what you mean."
"Then tell me why it wouldn't come?"
"Then tell me why it wouldn't come?"
Nan let her armful of gifts fall on her counterpane in a heap. "Oh, because—because—its mothers don't approve of me. What I want is a party, so there! and I couldn't have one because, even if my father could afford it, no one would come. Grace Ellis wouldn't, nor Mary Brewster, nor any of those girls I'd want. They turn up their noses at me because they think I don't know how to behave. Once Louie Hawes spoke to me and I liked her, but the next time I saw her she looked the other way, and I suppose some one had told her something she didn't approve of. So she wouldn't come either—no matter how much I asked her, and of course I wouldn't ask her at all. Mrs. Andrews up the street asked me to Ruth's party last winter, but I heard their girl tell Delia that she did it because she had known my mother and felt obliged to, so I wouldn't go. I couldn't after that, you know. I did go to the Buckstone twins' party, but all the other girls got off in corners and laughed and talked, and I was left out and had to shift for myself. So I went and talked to John Gardiner and Harley Morris and those, and of course we got on first-rate—we always do, for if I can't dance I can skate, and the boys got me to promise I'd go with them the next good ice, and we got talking about other things, and I never thought anything about the girls any more until Mrs. Buckstone came up and said, 'I'm sorry, my dear, to break up this pleasant group, but we can't permit you to monopolize our young gentlemen. The rest of the young ladies are waiting for partners.' Then I knew I had got myself into a scrape, for Mrs. Buckstone was dreadfully icy and the girls were furious. So you see no one would come."
Nan let her pile of gifts fall onto her bedspread in a mess. "Oh, it’s because—because—moms don’t like me. What I want is a party, so there! And I couldn't have one because, even if my dad could afford it, no one would show up. Grace Ellis wouldn’t, nor Mary Brewster, nor any of those girls I want to invite. They look down on me because they think I don’t know how to act. Once, Louie Hawes talked to me, and I liked her, but the next time I saw her, she looked the other way. I guess someone told her something she didn’t like. So she wouldn’t come either—no matter how much I asked her, and of course I wouldn’t ask her at all. Mrs. Andrews up the street invited me to Ruth's party last winter, but I heard her girl tell Delia that she did it because she knew my mom and felt obligated, so I couldn’t go. I couldn’t after that, you know. I did go to the Buckstone twins' party, but all the other girls went off in corners and laughed and talked, and I was left out, having to find my own way. So I went and talked to John Gardiner and Harley Morris and those guys, and of course we got along great—we always do, because if I can’t dance, I can skate, and the boys got me to promise I’d go with them the next time the ice was good. We started talking about other things, and I didn’t think about the girls anymore until Mrs. Buckstone came over and said, 'I’m sorry, dear, to break up this nice group, but we can’t allow you to hog our young gentlemen. The other young ladies are waiting for partners.' Then I realized I had gotten myself into trouble because Mrs. Buckstone was really cold, and the girls were furious. So you see, no one would come."
Miss Blake caught up a stray lock of hair at the girl's temple and tucked it back into place, smoothed the ribbon upon her "best dress" collar, and said tenderly:
Miss Blake caught a stray lock of hair at the girl's temple and tucked it back into place, smoothed the ribbon on her "best dress" collar, and said gently:
"Well, that will all be made right to-night, I guess. Come, take my hand, and let's fly down stairs, and be ready to receive, for you've got your wish—there's the bell!—and your party is coming in."
"Well, I guess that will all be fixed tonight. Come, take my hand, and let's rush downstairs and get ready to welcome them, because you got your wish—there's the bell!—and your guests are arriving."
They met the first comers on the stairs, and had to hurry past them to avoid getting caught by a second installment. After that the guests came quick and fast, and Nan had all she could do to welcome them and wonder dimly in between how things were to be started, so that everybody should have a good time.
They ran into the first arrivals on the stairs and had to rush past them to avoid being caught by another wave. After that, the guests arrived quickly, and Nan struggled to welcome them all while vaguely wondering how to kick things off so that everyone would enjoy themselves.
But, bless you! She might have saved herself the trouble, for Miss Blake simply set things going without any bother at all, and before Nan realized what was happening, she saw the governess and big John Gardiner leading in a lively game, while the music of a piano and some violins, which were hidden away out of sight, fell upon her delighted ear. She followed the sound, and it took her to the glass extension, which, to her astonishment, was all alight, and fragrant with flowering plants and towering palms. The "old trunks and things" that had littered the place were gone, and in their stead was all this soft greenness and bloom, while from above hung graceful lanterns, sending out a tender light that made the leaves look shadowy and waxen, and gave the spot a peculiar air of mystery and grace.
But, oh my! She could have saved herself the trouble because Miss Blake got everything started without any fuss at all. Before Nan even realized what was happening, she saw the governess and big John Gardiner leading a lively game, while the sound of a piano and some violins, hidden from view, filled the air. She followed the music and found herself in the glass extension, which, to her surprise, was all lit up and fragrant with blooming plants and tall palms. The "old trunks and things" that had cluttered the space were gone, replaced by this soft greenery and flowers, while graceful lanterns hung from above, casting a gentle light that made the leaves look shadowy and waxy, giving the area a unique aura of mystery and elegance.
She found Louie Hawes and Ruth Andrews hidden away in a snug corner behind a screening rubber-tree. They were apparently deep in conversation when she came up, but at sight of her they fell suddenly silent and looked embarrassed and ill at ease. For a moment Nan was at a loss what to do. Then, all at once, Miss Blake's rule for etiquette flashed across her mind:
She found Louie Hawes and Ruth Andrews tucked away in a cozy corner behind a rubber tree screen. They seemed to be deep in conversation when she approached, but when they saw her, they instantly fell silent and appeared awkward and uncomfortable. For a moment, Nan didn’t know what to do. Then, suddenly, Miss Blake’s etiquette rule popped into her mind:
"When you don't know how to act, Nan, do something honest and kind, and that will be sure to be right."
"When you’re unsure of what to do, Nan, just be honest and kind, and that will definitely be the right choice."
She told herself that perhaps after all, the girls had not been talking about her, and said to them pleasantly:
She told herself that maybe the girls weren't talking about her after all, and said to them cheerfully:
"Do you like it away back here? It's rather out of the way of the games; but don't you want to play?"
"Do you like it back here? It's pretty far from the games, but don't you want to join in?"
"Oh, yes; by and by," stammered Ruth, awkwardly. "It's awfully pretty in this conservatory, and Lu and I got in here and couldn't get away. One wants to sit still and just enjoy it. I think I never saw such dainty lanterns."
"Oh, yeah; eventually," Ruth said awkwardly. "This conservatory is really beautiful, and Lu and I came in here and couldn't leave. It makes you want to just sit still and enjoy it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such delicate lanterns."
The conversation seemed on the point of coming to a standstill, but Nan plunged in again, her sense of being hostess spurring her on.
The conversation seemed like it was about to come to a halt, but Nan jumped back in, her role as hostess motivating her.
"I guess they're some Miss Blake brought with her from China, or somewhere. She has been around the world, and has collected any number of beautiful things. Some of them are perfectly fine."
"I think they're some that Miss Blake brought back from China or somewhere. She's traveled the world and has gathered a lot of beautiful things. Some of them are really impressive."
"Oh, I think she herself is one of the loveliest things!" cried Ruth, enthusiastically. "She has a darling face. One wants to kiss her, she's so dear!"
"Oh, I think she herself is one of the most beautiful things!" exclaimed Ruth, excitedly. "She has an adorable face. You just want to kiss her; she's so sweet!"
"Mamma says she used to know her years ago at school," said Louie. "She says she is one of the finest characters she knows. She was delighted to have me come when Miss Blake asked me to your party."
"Mama says she knew her years ago at school," said Louie. "She says she's one of the best people she knows. She was thrilled to have me come when Miss Blake invited me to your party."
"Yes, it was awfully nice of you to think of us," put in Ruth, laboriously.
"Yeah, it was really nice of you to think of us," added Ruth, with effort.
Again the conversation threatened to flag. But here was Nan's opportunity to do something honest, and she did it.
Again, the conversation seemed to hit a lull. But this was Nan's chance to do something genuine, and she took it.
"Oh, don't thank me. I didn't think of you," she returned bluntly; "that is, I didn't know anything at all about the party myself until a little while ago. Miss Blake did it all. I don't know how in the world she ever happened to ask just the ones I wanted, though."
"Oh, don’t thank me. I wasn’t thinking about you," she replied straightforwardly; "I didn’t even know anything about the party until just a little while ago. Miss Blake organized everything. I have no idea how she managed to invite exactly the people I wanted, though."
Ruth and Louie exchanged glances. Then they laughed.
Ruth and Louie shared a look. Then they burst out laughing.
"Well, if you didn't think of us," they said, "you wanted us, so it's nice of you all the same."
"Well, if you didn't think about us," they said, "you wanted us, so it's nice of you, either way."
That broke the ice, and it wasn't five minutes before all three were sitting together and chatting as comfortably as if they had been on the most intimate terms of friendship for years, and it was only Nan's sense of her responsibility as hostess that dragged her away at last.
That broke the ice, and it wasn't five minutes before all three were sitting together and chatting as comfortably as if they had been the best friends for years, and it was only Nan's sense of responsibility as the host that finally pulled her away.
"Miss Blake will wonder where we are. Won't you come into the other room? Besides you can't enjoy being cooped up in this little corner when the fun is going on outside."
"Miss Blake will be wondering where we are. Why don't you come into the other room? Plus, you can't really enjoy being stuck in this little corner when the fun is happening outside."
"Oh, but we do enjoy it!" protested Ruth. "It's giving us a chance to get acquainted with you. And we want you to promise us that you'll go skating with us day after to-morrow. Please do!"
"Oh, but we really enjoy it!" protested Ruth. "It’s giving us a chance to get to know you. And we want you to promise that you’ll go skating with us the day after tomorrow. Please do!"
"Of course we know how you skate," declared Louie, "and we'll be so proud to have such a champion in our club. Say you'll come! And don't hold it against us that we haven't asked you before."
"Of course we know how you skate," Louie said, "and we'll be so proud to have such a champion in our club. Please say you'll come! And don't hold it against us for not asking you sooner."
Nan's heart leaped. "Why, I'll love to," she said with a frankness equal to Louie's own, adding in a tone quite new to her, "if Miss Blake will let me."
Nan's heart sprang with excitement. "Oh, I’d love to," she said with the same openness as Louie, adding in a tone she had never used before, "if Miss Blake allows me to."
Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster lifted their eyebrows in surprise as the three girls appeared in the doorway, chatting so intimately and being so plainly on the best of terms.
Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster raised their eyebrows in surprise as the three girls walked in the doorway, talking so closely and clearly on great terms.
"Dear me!" whispered Grace, "what's come over Lu and Ruth? They actually look as if they liked her."
"Wow!" whispered Grace, "what's gotten into Lu and Ruth? They actually look like they like her."
"Don't you believe it," declared Mary sourly. "They're here at her party and they can't exactly shove her off in her own house, but it will be 'for one night only.' Now you see! They won't want her around now any more than they have before—a rowdyish thing like that."
"Don't buy into that," Mary said bitterly. "They're here at her party, and they can't just kick her out in her own house, but it'll be 'for one night only.' See what I mean? They won't want her around now any more than they did before—people like that are just too wild."
She had scarcely replaced her bitter expression by one more suited to the time and place when Louie came over to where they were, her face wreathed in smiles, and her arm flung impulsively around Nan's waist.
She had barely changed her bitter expression to one more appropriate for the moment when Louie walked over to them, her face beaming with smiles, and her arm casually thrown around Nan's waist.
"O girls!" she cried. "Isn't it nice? Ruth and I have made Nan promise that she'll come skating with us day after to-morrow, and she's going to join the club. Won't it put a feather in our cap to have such a member?"
"O girls!" she exclaimed. "Isn't it great? Ruth and I have made Nan promise that she'll go skating with us the day after tomorrow, and she's going to join the club. Won't it be awesome to have such a member?"
Mary knit her brows and Grace smiled icily.
Mary furrowed her brows and Grace smiled coldly.
"Very nice," they responded coldly.
"Very nice," they replied coldly.
Nan's eyes flashed, and then suddenly lowered. "Oh! I didn't give a definite promise," she returned quietly, and with unexpected dignity. "I said if Miss Blake would let me. I'm afraid she won't. I hurt my ankle not long ago, and I haven't dared exercise it much since. Probably Miss Blake will think I ought to save it for a while yet."
Nan's eyes lit up for a moment, then quickly dropped. "Oh! I didn’t make a solid promise," she replied softly, with surprising grace. "I said if Miss Blake would allow me. I'm worried she won’t. I twisted my ankle recently, and I haven't had the courage to use it much since. Miss Blake will probably think I should rest it a bit longer."
"But you were out on Saturday," protested Ruth. "I saw you. Your ankle is only an excuse. You skate so easily, it couldn't be a strain."
"But you were out on Saturday," Ruth argued. "I saw you. Your ankle is just an excuse. You skate so effortlessly; it can't be that much of a strain."
Grace looked at Mary with a curious expression in her eyes, but neither of them added her voice to the other girls' solicitations, and the little group stood there in what threatened to become a painful silence when Nan felt a light touch on her shoulder, and, turning around, discovered Miss Blake standing at her elbow.
Grace looked at Mary with a curious look in her eyes, but neither of them joined the other girls' requests, and the little group stood there in what was about to become an awkward silence when Nan felt a light touch on her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Miss Blake standing next to her.
"O Nan!" she said, smiling brightly at the other girls, as if to excuse herself for not including them in her familiarity, "won't you please go and see if you can't entertain that poor young Joe Tracy? I've done my best, but he won't come out of his shell for all I can do, and I think your hearty, breezy way is just what he needs. He looks so forlorn, tucked away 'all alone by himself,' as you would say."
"O Nan!" she said, smiling brightly at the other girls, as if to excuse herself for not including them in her friendliness, "could you go and see if you can keep that poor young Joe Tracy company? I've tried my best, but he won't open up no matter what I do, and I think your cheerful, lively personality is just what he needs. He looks so sad, tucked away 'all alone by himself,' as you would say."
She patted the girl affectionately on the shoulder as she sent her on her way, saying heartily, as she passed out of ear-shot: "I always feel perfectly secure when I can fall back on Nan to help me out with shy, sensitive people. She has such a great, warm heart that it seems to thaw their stiffness right out of them."
She gave the girl a friendly pat on the shoulder as she sent her off, saying cheerfully as she walked out of earshot, "I always feel completely at ease when I can rely on Nan to help me out with shy, sensitive people. She has such a big, warm heart that it seems to melt their stiffness away."
Louie threw her arm impulsively about the governess' waist:
Louie wrapped her arm around the governess's waist impulsively:
"You're such a dear!" she cried, demonstratively; "and I'm over and over obliged to you for letting me come here and get acquainted with Nan. I think she is ever so nice, and it's a shame that we haven't known each other before."
"You're so sweet!" she exclaimed, clearly excited. "I'm really grateful to you for letting me come here and meet Nan. I think she's really great, and it's a shame we didn't get to know each other sooner."
Miss Blake gave the girl a hearty smile.
Miss Blake gave the girl a warm smile.
"Better late than never," she returned gayly.
"Better late than never," she replied cheerfully.
Grace Ellis reddened and Mary Brewster tilted her chin superciliously, but they both turned their eyes suddenly in the direction of the other end of the room as Ruth Andrews grasped Miss Blake's arm, and whispered excitedly:
Grace Ellis blushed, and Mary Brewster raised her chin condescendingly, but they both suddenly looked towards the other end of the room as Ruth Andrews grabbed Miss Blake's arm and whispered excitedly:
"For goodness' sake, do look over there! Nan has got Joe Tracy laughing already."
"For goodness' sake, look over there! Nan has already got Joe Tracy laughing."
Sure enough, the lad's pale, sensitive face was all aglow, and, as he listened to what the girl was saying, his eyes brightened and his mouth danced up at the corners in a laugh of genuine appreciation. Nan was gesticulating in her own graphic fashion, and the girls could easily follow her by watching her expression and her vivid pantomime.
Sure enough, the boy's pale, sensitive face lit up, and as he listened to what the girl was saying, his eyes sparkled and his mouth curled into a genuine smile. Nan was using her own expressive gestures, and the girls could easily understand her by watching her expressions and her lively movement.
Plainly she was describing the sleight-of-hand performance to her bashful friend, and Miss Blake could readily see that she was not sparing herself in the recital.
Plainly, she was describing the magic trick performance to her shy friend, and Miss Blake could easily see that she was fully invested in the storytelling.
She raised her hands to her head and pretended to take off her hat, which she made a show of reluctantly surrendering to some one who received it with a profound bow. Then she suddenly leaned forward, as if stumbling on something, and the next moment she held up her hand and seemed to be regarding some article upon it with an exaggeratedly doleful expression that was such an exact imitation of the renowned wizard's that Miss Blake recognized it at once, and laughed as heartily as Joe Tracy himself. By this time the girls were thoroughly interested, and kept their eyes fixed on Nan so that they might not lose one gesture nor the slightest change of expression.
She raised her hands to her head and pretended to take off her hat, which she pretended to reluctantly hand over to someone who accepted it with a deep bow. Then she suddenly leaned forward, as if tripping over something, and the next moment she held up her hand, looking at an object in it with an exaggeratedly sad expression that was such a perfect imitation of the famous wizard’s that Miss Blake recognized it immediately and laughed as heartily as Joe Tracy himself. By this time, the girls were completely captivated and kept their eyes on Nan so they wouldn’t miss any gesture or slightest change in her expression.
"O dear! Those Buckstone girls! Why do they get in my way," lamented Louie Hawes, "I wish they wouldn't crowd round her so. First thing they know she'll notice them, and stop short off and won't tell any more."
"O dear! Those Buckstone girls! Why do they always get in my way?" Louie Hawes complained. "I wish they wouldn't gather around her like that. The first thing you know, she'll notice them, stop talking, and won't say anything else."
"Hush, Lu! There go John Gardiner and Harley Morris!"
"Hush, Lu! There go John Gardiner and Harley Morris!"
But Nan was in full swing now, and too absorbed in her story to be aware of the little court that had gathered around her. Joe Tracy's eyes followed her every movement with greedy interest, and when she at length imitated the flapping wings of the clucking hen he simply shouted with laughter and clapped his hands vigorously, quite lost to all but his appreciation and sense of the fun of the thing.
But Nan was completely into her story now, so much so that she didn’t notice the small crowd that had formed around her. Joe Tracy was watching her every move with eager interest, and when she finally acted out the flapping wings of the clucking hen, he burst out laughing and clapped his hands excitedly, completely absorbed in the enjoyment of the moment.
It seemed to remind him of something similar in his own experience, for he immediately started in on a description of his own, and Nan sat listening in her turn with rapt attention. Every now and then a shout of laughter would come from the group in the distant corner, and the girls longed to go over and join in the fun.
It seemed to remind him of something similar from his own life, so he immediately began sharing his own story, and Nan sat there listening intently. Every now and then, a burst of laughter would echo from the group in the far corner, and the girls wished they could go over and join in the fun.
"Listen to John Gardiner 'haw-haw!'" cried Mary Brewster.
"Listen to John Gardiner 'haw-haw!'" shouted Mary Brewster.
"Don't the Buckstone twins give funny little giggles?" interposed Louie.
"Don't the Buckstone twins have such funny little giggles?" Louie chimed in.
"Why can't we go over and listen too?" suggested Ruth.
"Why can't we go over and listen too?" Ruth suggested.
So they all, even Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster, went softly toward the alluring corner, and were just in time to catch the end of Joe Tracy's story, which was so witty that John Gardiner swayed back and forward with delight and shook the room with his hearty laugh, and the Buckstone girls' giggle joined in like a shrill accompaniment.
So they all, including Grace Ellis and Mary Brewster, quietly made their way to the enticing corner and arrived just in time to hear the end of Joe Tracy's story, which was so funny that John Gardiner rocked back and forth in delight and filled the room with his loud laughter, while the Buckstone girls' giggles chimed in like a high-pitched background tune.
It had all come about so naturally that Joe Tracy did not realize that he had been orating to a roomful, and he did not seem to mind it at all when he discovered that he and Nan had had an audience. His shyness was quite gone and his face was radiant with enjoyment.
It had all happened so naturally that Joe Tracy didn’t even notice he was speaking to a room full of people, and he didn’t seem to care at all when he found out that he and Nan had an audience. His shyness was completely gone, and his face was glowing with happiness.
The piano and violins started in again, and Miss Blake was heard inviting bulky Tom Porter to escort her down to supper.
The piano and violins started playing again, and Miss Blake was heard asking hefty Tom Porter to take her down to supper.
Of course, Nan had known all along that there would be something to eat, but she had not dreamed of such a spread as this.
Of course, Nan had always known there would be food, but she never imagined it would be such an amazing spread.
It made her eyes shine and her cheeks glow to hear such whispered words as these:
It made her eyes light up and her cheeks flush to hear whispers like these:
"Yes, indeed! Aren't you?"
"Yes, definitely! Aren't you?"
"Far and away the jolliest one yet!"
"By far the happiest one so far!"
"Do get me some more salad, won't you, please? It's the best I ever ate!"
"Could you please get me some more salad? It's the best I've ever had!"
"Up-and-down jolly time. A fellow likes to be made feel at home like this."
"Up-and-down fun time. A guy likes to feel at home like this."
Miss Blake, who without seeming to be watching any one, saw that every one was well supplied, kept a constant eye on Nan, and at last, on the strength of what she discovered, thought it was time to interfere.
Miss Blake, who appeared not to be watching anyone, noticed that everyone was taken care of, kept a close watch on Nan, and finally, based on what she observed, decided it was time to step in.
"Now sit down, my dear," she commanded softly, coming up behind the girl and touching her gently on the arm. "You are getting all tired out and having nothing to eat yourself. Every one is served and the waiters will look out for the rest. I have saved a place for you in the corner beside Louie and Ruth. So go now and rest and eat and enjoy yourself. You must not be the only one at your party who is neglected."
"Now sit down, my dear," she said gently, coming up behind the girl and softly touching her arm. "You’re getting all worn out and haven’t eaten anything. Everyone else has been served, and the waitstaff will take care of the rest. I saved you a spot in the corner next to Louie and Ruth. So go ahead, relax, eat, and have a good time. You shouldn’t be the only one at your party who’s being ignored."
Nan gave her a grateful look and dashed off toward Louie and Ruth who were beckoning wildly to her to come. They had so much to tell that they almost forgot their plates in their eagerness to talk.
Nan gave her a thankful look and ran over to Louie and Ruth, who were waving frantically for her to join them. They had so much to share that they nearly forgot their plates in their excitement to chat.
"Grace Ellis is just wild to come over here," confided Louie.
"Grace Ellis is so excited to come over here," Louie said.
"But Mary Brewster won't let her. Mary just bosses Grace about till I think it's positively disgraceful," whispered Ruth.
"But Mary Brewster won't allow her. Mary just bosses Grace around until I think it's completely disgraceful," whispered Ruth.
John Gardiner sauntered up.
John Gardiner walked up.
"Got everything you want?" he asked in a manful effort to be attentive.
"Do you have everything you want?" he asked, trying hard to be attentive.
"No!" replied Nan, promptly, with a twinkle in her eye. "I want a bicycle, please. Won't you get me one?" and she held out her plate as if to have it supplied with the desired article.
"No!" replied Nan quickly, with a sparkle in her eye. "I want a bicycle, please. Can you get me one?" and she held out her plate as if to have it filled with the item she wanted.
The tall fellow laughed. "With pleasure," he said, and took the plate and marched off with it.
The tall guy laughed. "Gladly," he said, took the plate, and walked off with it.
"O dear! I hadn't finished my salad!" lamented Nan, looking regretfully after him.
"O no! I didn't finish my salad!" Nan said, looking sadly after him.
Louie managed to telegraph their dilemma to Harley Morris, who promptly responded to it by appearing with another plate of salad and a dish of sandwiches. He did not go away after Nan was served, but stayed on and led in the laugh when John Gardiner reappeared with a tiny ice cream bicycle daintily poised against a mound of jelly, which he presented to Nan with a low bow full of mock dignity, saying:
Louie managed to convey their dilemma to Harley Morris, who quickly responded by showing up with another plate of salad and a dish of sandwiches. He didn’t leave after Nan was served; instead, he stuck around and started the laughter when John Gardiner came back with a little ice cream bicycle neatly positioned against a mound of jelly. He presented it to Nan with a low bow full of fake dignity, saying:
"You have only to command and you are obeyed. Here is your wheel, and may it go as fast as if it were geared to a hundred."
"You just have to give the order and people will follow. Here’s your wheel, and may it spin as quickly as if it were set to a hundred."
"Thank you," replied Nan, accepting the joke and the plate at the same time. "It'll go fast enough, no fear of that. Eating is never up-hill work with me, and this has nothing to do but coast, you see," and she swallowed the first mouthful down with a jolly laugh.
"Thanks," said Nan, taking the joke and the plate at the same time. "It'll disappear quickly, no worries about that. Eating is never hard for me, and this is just going to slide right down, you know," and she swallowed the first bite with a cheerful laugh.
"Look over at Mary Brewster! She's trying her best to pretend she ignores us," whispered Ruth, but not so low but that the young fellows could hear.
"Look at Mary Brewster! She's doing her best to act like she doesn't see us," whispered Ruth, but not quietly enough for the young guys to miss it.
"Is one who ignores an ignor—amus?" asked Harley Morris, grinning broadly at his own witticism.
"Is someone who ignores an ignor—amus?" asked Harley Morris, grinning widely at his own joke.
"Yes," promptly answered Louie. "And in this case especially so, for she doesn't know what she's losing."
"Yeah," Louie replied quickly. "And especially in this case, because she has no idea what she's giving up."
There were more games after supper, and last of all came the jolliest part of the whole evening, an old-fashioned Virginia reel, Miss Blake and John Gardiner leading and the rest following with the heartiest of zest. In and out they tripped and up and down they ran till all were fairly out of breath. Then suddenly Miss Blake seized John's hand, and away they sped toward the library, the rest following helter-skelter, where the Christmas tree stood all lighted and ablaze.
There were more games after dinner, and finally, the funniest part of the whole evening came—a traditional Virginia reel, led by Miss Blake and John Gardiner, with everyone else joining in with great enthusiasm. They danced in and out and ran up and down until everyone was pretty much out of breath. Then suddenly, Miss Blake grabbed John's hand, and they hurried off toward the library, with the others scrambling after them, where the Christmas tree was all lit up and glowing.
"All hands round!" shouted John, as they formed a ring and pranced gayly about the fragrant tree.
"Everyone gather around!" shouted John, as they formed a circle and danced playfully around the fragrant tree.
Then up rose the governess' cheery voice, singing the dear old Christmas carol that is always new:
Then the governess's cheerful voice rose up, singing the beloved old Christmas carol that never gets old:
"Hark! the herald angels sing
Glory to the new-born King;
Peace on earth and mercy mild;
God and sinners reconciled."
"Listen! The angels are singing
Glory to the newborn King;
Peace on earth and gentle mercy;
God and sinners brought together."
And the rest joined in and made the house re-echo with their hearty chorus:
And the others joined in, filling the house with their joyful chorus:
"Joyful all ye nations rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With th' angelic host proclaim,
Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
"Joyful all you nations rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With the angelic host proclaim,
Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
It seemed to melt the hearts of every one there, for the voices that presently said "Good-night," were full of peace and good-will, and even Mary Brewster's had a ring of sincerity in it as she murmured:
It seemed to warm the hearts of everyone there, because the voices that soon said "Goodnight" were full of peace and good intentions, and even Mary Brewster's had a tone of sincerity as she whispered:
"Good-night, Miss Blake! Good-night, Nan. I've had a charming evening, and I hope we'll know each other better after this."
"Good night, Miss Blake! Good night, Nan. I had a wonderful evening, and I hope we get to know each other better after this."
CHAPTER XII
SMALL CLOUDS
It proved an ideal Christmas day. Clear and cold and spotlessly white, for the snow fell heavily all through the night, and covered everything with a mantle of glistening frost.
It was an ideal Christmas day. Clear, cold, and perfectly white, because the snow fell heavily all night and blanketed everything with a layer of sparkling frost.
Nan looked out of her window, and gave a gasp of delight as she saw the shimmering, rime-covered trees, with the sunshine striking full upon them and bringing out sparks of light from every branch and twig. Whatever sounds there were in the streets came to her softened and mellowed over the snow-laden ground, and as she listened she felt a great wave of inward happiness surge into her heart and make the possibilities of life seem very different to her from anything she had ever dreamed of before. The snow, the sound of chiming Christmas bells, worked upon her, and made her feel that it would be easy to be good, and that her days ought all to be like this; that she would make them so, serene and melodious, every one a festival.
Nan looked out her window and gasped in delight as she saw the shimmering, frost-covered trees, with the sunlight shining on them, creating sparks of light from every branch and twig. The sounds from the streets came to her, softened and mellowed by the snow-covered ground, and as she listened, a wave of happiness surged in her heart, making the possibilities of life feel completely different from anything she had ever imagined before. The snow and the sound of ringing Christmas bells touched her deeply, making her feel that being good was easy and that her days should all be like this; she was determined to make them serene and melodic, each one a celebration.
She heard Miss Blake stirring in the next room, and tore herself away from her dreams to begin the day well with a prompt appearance at the breakfast table.
She heard Miss Blake moving around in the next room and pulled herself away from her dreams to start the day right by showing up at the breakfast table on time.
"It seems to me that if father were only here I wouldn't have a thing left in the world to wish for," she said happily, spearing a gold-brown scallop with her fork and eating it with relish.
"It feels like if Dad were just here, I wouldn't have anything left to wish for," she said happily, spearing a golden-brown scallop with her fork and enjoying it.
Miss Blake put down her coffee-cup just as she was carrying it to her lips, and her face wore the curious expression that Nan had so often noticed there and could never account for. But the girl was too busy with her own thoughts to regard it to-day, and the governess hastened to respond:
Miss Blake set her coffee cup down right before bringing it to her lips, and her face had that curious look that Nan had often noticed but never understood. But the girl was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to pay attention to it today, and the governess quickly replied:
"Then next year, please God, you will be quite entirely happy. And a year is not long to wait."
"Then next year, hopefully, you'll be completely happy. And a year isn't a long time to wait."
"No, indeed!" broke in Nan. "Why, I never knew the time to go as quickly as it does lately. It doesn't seem any while at all since you came, and you've been here over two months. Just let's think what we'll do next Christmas, when father is home. To begin with, I'm going down to the dock with Mr. Turner, so that when the ship comes in he'll see me the first thing. Then we'll come up here, and you and Delia will be waiting to welcome him at the door, and there'll be decorations and things and—"
"No way!" interrupted Nan. "I can’t believe how fast time is flying lately. It feels like just yesterday you arrived, and it’s already been over two months. Let’s think about what we’ll do next Christmas when Dad is back home. First off, I’m going down to the dock with Mr. Turner so he can see me as soon as the ship arrives. Then we’ll come back up here, and you and Delia will be waiting to greet him at the door, with decorations and everything—"
"You forget, dear Nan," Miss Blake said, gently interrupting her, "that I shall not be here then."
"You forget, dear Nan," Miss Blake said, gently cutting her off, "that I won't be around then."
The girl's face fell and the light died out of her eyes. Then she brightened again suddenly.
The girl's expression changed, and the light in her eyes faded. Then she suddenly perked up again.
"Oh, you must, you must! Why, my father will want to see you. Of course you'll be here. You'll have to stay and meet him. You can surely do as much as that. You don't know how dear my father is! And so handsome and good! Why, if you once saw him you couldn't possibly be afraid. He's simply the kindest man in the world, and when he smiles at you, you just love him—you can't help it."
"Oh, you have to! My dad will want to meet you. Of course, you'll be here. You need to stay and meet him. Surely, you can do that much. You have no idea how dear my dad is! And he’s so handsome and good! Honestly, if you saw him once, you wouldn't be scared at all. He's genuinely the kindest man in the world, and when he smiles at you, you can't help but love him."
Miss Blake herself smiled faintly. "I am sure he is all you say, Nan," she replied. "But listen! There go the first bells. We must hurry or we shall be late for church."
Miss Blake herself smiled faintly. "I’m sure he’s everything you say, Nan," she replied. "But listen! The first bells are ringing. We need to hurry, or we'll be late for church."
The girl rose and made her way rather slowly to the stairs. Somehow she felt less light-hearted than she had done a few minutes before. What was it? She could not understand. The world had seemed all joy and sunshine to her a quarter of an hour since, and now there was a cloud over her heart that dimmed for her even the radiant prospect of her father's return.
The girl got up and walked slowly toward the stairs. For some reason, she felt less cheerful than she had just a little while ago. What was going on? She couldn't figure it out. Just fifteen minutes ago, everything had seemed full of joy and sunshine, and now there was a shadow over her heart that even made her father's return seem less bright.
"I feel just like sitting down and having a good cry—if I ever did such a thing," she said to herself as she fastened on her new hat and tried to be glad that it was so becoming.
"I feel like sitting down and having a good cry—if I ever did that," she thought to herself as she put on her new hat and tried to be happy that it looked so good.
But as she and Miss Blake walked along the streets in the midst of a crowd of happy, chatting church-goers her spirits rose, and she nodded gayly to the Buckstone girls and Harley Morris, and broke into quite a ripple of laughter as John Gardiner overtook them and asked if the wheel he had brought her the night before had proved a good one.
But as she and Miss Blake walked down the streets among a crowd of cheerful, chatting church-goers, her spirits lifted, and she happily waved to the Buckstone girls and Harley Morris. She burst into laughter when John Gardiner caught up with them and asked if the wheel he had brought her the night before was a good one.
"Oh, it was immense!" answered Nan, merrily.
"Oh, it was huge!" replied Nan, happily.
The services were beautiful, and Nan entered into them heart and soul, listening to the sermon with rapt attention and letting her fresh young voice swell out jubilantly in the dear, familiar carols as she had never done before.
The services were beautiful, and Nan fully immersed herself in them, listening to the sermon with great focus and letting her lively young voice rise joyfully in the beloved, familiar carols like never before.
As they went out of church Miss Blake said to her softly:
As they left the church, Miss Blake said to her quietly:
"You won't mind going on without me, will you, Nan? I have a little errand to do before I go home. Tell Delia I'll be back in time for dinner."
"You won't mind going on without me, will you, Nan? I have a quick errand to run before I head home. Let Delia know I'll be back in time for dinner."

"I have a little errand to do"
"But why can't I go with you?" demanded the girl.
"But why can't I come with you?" the girl asked.
"Because it—it wouldn't be best. I will explain it to you later. Now I must go. Tell Delia what I said. But if I should happen to be delayed don't wait, and don't—that is, tell Delia not to worry. Good-bye!" and she was around the corner before Nan could say another word.
"Because it wouldn't be the best idea. I'll explain it to you later. Right now, I have to go. Let Delia know what I said. But if I'm late, don’t wait, and tell Delia not to worry. Bye!" and she was around the corner before Nan could say another word.
Ruth Andrews joined her and they walked along together, falling at once into the easy terms of familiarity that had sprung up between them the night before.
Ruth Andrews joined her, and they walked side by side, instantly slipping back into the comfortable familiarity that had developed between them the night before.
"O Nan!" began Ruth abruptly, "you aren't going to be such a goose as to back out of joining the skating club just because—well, because Mary Brewster's such a prig? She isn't the whole membership, not by a good deal, and the rest of us count on your coming. Why, you'll be a tremendous acquisition. And the first meet is to-morrow. Won't you come?"
"O Nan!" Ruth started suddenly, "you’re not really going to chicken out of joining the skating club just because—well, because Mary Brewster is such a know-it-all, are you? She isn’t the entire club, not by a long shot, and the rest of us are counting on you joining. You'll be an amazing addition. And the first meeting is tomorrow. Will you come?"
Nan hesitated. "It isn't because I'm a goose," she said at length. "That is, I mean—oh, I can't explain it, but really, Ruth, I'd rather not join. I wouldn't have a good time myself, and I'd only be spoiling Mary Brewster's pleasure. It's no use. I know she's not the whole club, and I really think the rest of you would like to have me, but somehow, knowing she didn't want me, would spoil the whole thing and I'd just be miserable the entire time."
Nan hesitated. “It’s not because I’m being stubborn,” she said finally. “What I mean is—oh, I can’t explain it, but really, Ruth, I’d prefer not to join. I wouldn’t enjoy myself, and I’d just be ruining Mary Brewster’s fun. There’s no point. I know she’s not the entire club, and I genuinely think the rest of you would want me there, but somehow, knowing she wouldn’t want me would ruin the whole thing and I’d just be unhappy the entire time.”
Ruth shook her head as if at the hopeless state of Nan's obstinacy, but she broke in again immediately with a new suggestion:
Ruth shook her head, exasperated by Nan's stubbornness, but she quickly jumped back in with a new suggestion:
"Besides, I don't think you can be at all sure she feels that way now. Why, I myself heard her telling you and Miss Blake that she hoped you and she would know each other better after this."
"Besides, I don't think you can be sure she feels that way now. I actually heard her telling you and Miss Blake that she hoped you two would get to know each other better after this."
"Well, so we do," said Nan, whimsically. "I know now for a certainty that she doesn't want me, and she knows that I won't go where I'm not wanted, and if that isn't getting acquainted with a vengeance I'd like to know what is."
"Well, I guess we do," Nan said playfully. "I know for sure now that she doesn't want me, and she knows I won't go where I'm not wanted, and if that isn't getting to know each other in a big way, I don't know what is."
Ruth laughed ruefully, but broke in, with sudden inspiration: "O dear! You're as proud as a peacock, Nan Cutler. Louie will be dreadfully disappointed, for she told me to tell you she counted on you to take her out. She's never skated much, you know, and she's wobbly on her ankles. She's afraid of the teachers, and she doesn't like to ask the boys, because they hate to have a girl hanging on to them, and the rest of us have as much as we can do to attend to our own affairs."
Ruth laughed sarcastically but suddenly got an idea: "Oh dear! You're as proud as a peacock, Nan Cutler. Louie is going to be really disappointed because she told me to let you know she was counting on you to take her out. She hasn't skated much, you know, and she's a bit wobbly on her ankles. She's scared of the teachers, and she doesn't want to ask the boys because they hate it when a girl hangs onto them, and the rest of us have enough on our plates to deal with our own stuff."
Nan's face lit up with quick pleasure. "Oh, if Louie needs me I'll come in a jiffy. If you see her, won't you tell her I'll be only too happy to teach her everything I know?"
Nan's face brightened with instant happiness. "Oh, if Louie needs me, I'll be there in no time. If you see her, can you let her know I'll be more than happy to teach her everything I know?"
"Then we'll call for you at ten sharp to-morrow morning," announced the wily Ruth, and before Nan could change her mind she had slipped off and left her standing with her word given at her steps.
"Then we'll pick you up at ten o'clock tomorrow morning," said the clever Ruth, and before Nan could reconsider, she had slipped away, leaving her standing there committed to her promise.
"Where's Miss Blake?" asked Delia, opening the door in answer to Nan's ring and seeing her alone.
"Where's Miss Blake?" Delia asked, opening the door in response to Nan's ring and finding her there by herself.
"Gone off somewhere on an errand or something. I don't know. She said she'd be home for dinner, but if she wasn't, not to worry and not to wait."
"Gone off somewhere on an errand or something. I don't know. She said she'd be home for dinner, but if she wasn't, not to worry and not to wait."
Delia wrung her hands. "O Nan, child, why did you let her away from you? She's gone to the Duffys; I know she has. And they've scarlet fever in the house. The milkman told me so this morning at mass. She's been going there for weeks, doing for them and carrying them money and things. The youngest of the children had been sick all the week, and now she's down with the fever. If I'd only thought to tell her this morning! But my head was so full of the breakfast and clearing up a bit after last night that I forgot. Oh, why did you let her away from you?"
Delia twisted her hands nervously. "Oh Nan, why did you let her leave you? She's gone to the Duffys; I know she has. And they have scarlet fever in the house. The milkman told me this morning at mass. She's been going there for weeks, helping them out and bringing them money and supplies. The youngest child has been sick all week, and now she's caught the fever too. If only I had thought to warn her this morning! But my mind was so busy with making breakfast and tidying up a bit after last night that I forgot. Oh, why did you let her leave you?"
"How could I know?" cried Nan, almost savagely. "I never knew she went to such places! What has she got to do with the Duffys, anyhow? Why hasn't somebody stopped her from going, I should like to know? She's no business to run such risks. The first thing you know she'll catch the fever, and then—and then—"
"How would I know?" Nan shouted, almost angrily. "I never knew she went to places like that! What does she have to do with the Duffys, anyway? Why hasn’t someone stopped her from going? I just want to know! She shouldn’t be taking such risks. The first thing you know, she’ll catch the fever, and then—and then—"
She turned her back on Delia, and the next moment was flying upstairs two steps at a time.
She turned her back on Delia and, in the next instant, was racing up the stairs two steps at a time.
"What are you going to do, Nan?" cried the woman.
"What are you going to do, Nan?" shouted the woman.
"Go after her and bring her home!" shouted the girl.
"Go get her and bring her back home!" shouted the girl.
But Delia barred the way when she tried to come down again. "You can't do that, Nan," she protested. "It would only make things worse. Just wait, and see if she comes home to dinner."
But Delia blocked the way when she tried to come down again. "You can't do that, Nan," she complained. "It would only make things worse. Just wait and see if she comes home for dinner."
"No; I want to go now!" persisted the girl.
"No; I want to go now!" the girl insisted.
"But don't you see it would only worry her?" insisted Delia.
"But don't you see it would just worry her?" insisted Delia.
Nan considered. "Well, I'll wait till dinner," she admitted; "but if she isn't here by then I'll start."
Nan thought for a moment. "Okay, I'll wait until dinner," she said; "but if she isn't here by then, I'll go ahead and start."
She sat down by the parlor window and commenced to watch. It seemed to her that every one in town came into sight but the one she was looking for with such curious anxiety. Suddenly her heart gave a great leap. She flew to the front door and flung it wide.
She sat by the parlor window and started watching. It felt like everyone in town appeared except for the one she was anxiously waiting for. Suddenly, her heart raced. She ran to the front door and threw it open.
"She's come! She's come!" she shouted to Delia, exultantly.
"She's here! She's here!" she yelled excitedly to Delia.
"Nan, Nan!" cried Miss Blake, hearing the joyous ring in her voice and seeing the glad light in her eyes. "What is the matter? Has anything happened? Has—has any one come?" As she spoke her lips grew white.
"Nan, Nan!" shouted Miss Blake, noticing the joyful tone in her voice and the excitement in her eyes. "What’s going on? Did something happen? Has—has someone arrived?" As she spoke, her lips turned pale.
"Yes! You're the matter! You've happened! You've come! I tell you I'm glad! And don't you ever go to those Duffys again, where there's scarlet fever, and you can die of it!"
"Yes! You’re the important one! You’ve arrived! You’ve come! I’m really glad! And don’t you ever go to those Duffys again, where there’s scarlet fever, and you could die from it!"
Miss Blake sank upon the hall-chair and held her hand to her heart.
Miss Blake collapsed onto the hall chair and pressed her hand to her heart.
"Why, what's the matter?" gasped Nan, frightened at the sight of her white face.
"What's wrong?" Nan gasped, alarmed at the sight of her pale face.
"Nothing, dear, nothing! I was startled—that was all."
"Nothing, dear, nothing! I was just surprised—that’s all."
"But who startled you?" persisted the girl.
"But who surprised you?" the girl kept asking.
"Not you. It is all over now."
"Not you. It's all done now."
"You see," Nan hastened to explain, "the milkman told Delia there was scarlet fever at the Duffys, and we thought you had gone there, and it scared us to death."
"You see," Nan quickly explained, "the milkman told Delia there was scarlet fever at the Duffys, and we thought you had gone there, and it scared us to death."
"But I told you to tell Delia not to worry."
"But I told you to let Delia know not to stress."
"Much good telling would do! Besides, you didn't tell me not to worry. Of course, she'd worry anyhow and so would I. But is it true? Have the Duffys got scarlet fever?"
"That would be quite a story! Plus, you didn't say not to worry. Of course, she’d still worry, and so would I. But is it really true? Do the Duffys have scarlet fever?"
Miss Blake hesitated. Then she said, truthfully, "Yes, they have, Nan. Little Mary Ellen has it. But you need not be afraid. I would not come back into this house without taking every precaution."
Miss Blake hesitated. Then she said, truthfully, "Yes, they have, Nan. Little Mary Ellen has it. But you don't need to worry. I wouldn't come back into this house without taking every precaution."
Nan cast on her an indignant look. "And you think that's what made us worry?" she asked, and turned on her heel and tramped upstairs in high displeasure. But she had scarcely got as far as the landing when she felt a hand upon her arm.
Nan shot her an angry look. "And you really think that’s what made us worry?" she asked, then turned on her heel and stormed upstairs in a huff. But she had barely made it to the landing when she felt a hand on her arm.
"Nan, forgive me. I didn't think so—really. I know you had my safety in mind. But I have been very careful all along. And now I have a good nurse for the child, and I think she will pull through."
"Nan, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it like that—honestly. I know you were looking out for my safety. But I've been really careful the whole time. And now I have a great nurse for the baby, and I think she will be okay."
"But promise me you won't go there any more," demanded Nan, sternly, only half mollified.
"But promise me you won't go there anymore," Nan insisted, not entirely appeased.
"I promise gladly. They don't need me now, and it would be wicked to take an unnecessary risk."
"I happily promise. They don't need me right now, and it would be wrong to take an unnecessary risk."
"Well, I should think so. Now, remember, you've promised. O Delia! Is dinner ready?"
"Well, I hope so. Now, don’t forget, you promised. Oh Delia! Is dinner ready?"
All through the meal Miss Blake was aware of Nan's eyes fixed upon her in a peculiarly scrutinizing gaze. She was puzzled, but asked no questions, sure that, sooner or later, the girl would disclose the reason herself. At length it came.
All throughout the meal, Miss Blake noticed Nan's eyes on her with a curious, intense gaze. She felt puzzled but didn't ask any questions, confident that the girl would eventually reveal the reason on her own. Eventually, it happened.
"Does your head ache, Miss Blake?"
"Does your head hurt, Miss Blake?"
"No, dear; why?"
"No, honey; why?"
"Because your cheeks are pretty red, and I thought you might not be feeling very well."
"Because your cheeks are really red, and I thought you might not be feeling so great."
"Probably the brisk wind has made them so, for I feel very well indeed."
"Maybe the cool breeze has done that, because I actually feel really good."
"Oh!"
"Oh!"
But at twilight Miss Blake came upon her bending double over a volume of the Encyclopaedia, and a glance showed her what article the girl was studying. It was that headed "Scarlet fever."
But at twilight, Miss Blake found her bent over a volume of the Encyclopaedia, and a quick look revealed the article the girl was studying. It was the one titled "Scarlet fever."
The book was shut with a clap, and Nan stalked off to replace it in the book-case without a word. She came back in a moment, however, and stood before Miss Blake like a grim young Fate, her dark eyes full of care and worry.
The book slammed shut, and Nan walked away to put it back on the bookshelf without saying a word. She returned a moment later, though, and stood in front of Miss Blake like a serious young Fate, her dark eyes full of concern and anxiety.
"See here! You've got to take something. There's no use fooling with a sickness like that. Your cheeks are red, and I shouldn't wonder but your throat is sore. When you came home you kind of went to pieces on the hall chair, and I guess your head is aching this minute. I don't say you've got scarlet fever, but—it looks mighty like it, that's all. Now don't be scared. I'll take care of you. I can, you know, if I put my mind to it."
"Listen! You need to take something. There's no point in ignoring an illness like that. Your cheeks are flushed, and I wouldn't be surprised if your throat is sore. When you got home, you slumped over on the hall chair, and I bet your head is hurting right now. I'm not saying you have scarlet fever, but it certainly seems like it. Now, don't panic. I'll take care of you. I can, you know, if I really focus on it."
Miss Blake dared not hug her, though it was precisely what she longed to do. She dared not laugh at her, either, for that would give lasting offense when Nan was so deadly in earnest. What she did was to say brightly, but in quite as off-hand and matter-of-fact way as the girl herself had spoken:
Miss Blake didn't dare hug her, even though that was exactly what she wanted to do. She also didn't dare laugh at her, since that would truly offend Nan when she was so serious. Instead, she said cheerfully, in just as casual and straightforward a way as the girl herself had spoken:
"I'm sure you could. But you see I am perfectly well. Honestly, I haven't a pain nor an ache, and if my cheeks are still red it's because the skin has been frost-nipped. I give you my word of honor I will go to a doctor if I feel the slightest symptom."
"I'm sure you could. But you see, I'm perfectly fine. Honestly, I don't feel any pain or discomfort, and if my cheeks are still red, it's just because the skin has been frostbitten. I promise I will see a doctor if I feel the slightest symptom."
Her tone was so heartily sincere that Nan could not doubt her. She drew a long breath of relief, as if a heavy load had been lifted from her heart, and threw herself upon the lounge with a contented sigh.
Her tone was so genuinely sincere that Nan couldn't doubt her. She let out a long breath of relief, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her heart, and collapsed onto the couch with a satisfied sigh.
"Just think," she said. "Last night this time I didn't even know I was going to have a party, and now it's all over and done with, and Ruth and Louie want me to go skating with them to-morrow. It's been the happiest Christmas I ever spent, with the exception of the Duffy part, and I wish it could last forever."
"Just think," she said. "Last night at this time, I didn't even know I was going to have a party, and now it's all done, and Ruth and Louie want me to go skating with them tomorrow. It's been the happiest Christmas I've ever had, except for the Duffy part, and I wish it could last forever."
"I think some of it will," replied Miss Blake in her gentle voice, as Delia came to light the lamps.
"I think some of it will," replied Miss Blake in her soft voice, as Delia came to light the lamps.
CHAPTER XIII
ON THE ICE
There was a great crowd on the lake. It was perfect skating weather, and every one who had skates and could use them, had come to enjoy the advantage of the first real ice of the season. The banks were thronged with onlookers, and it was a great inspiration to the expert ones to know that their performances would be watched and commended by such an audience as this.
There was a huge crowd on the lake. It was perfect skating weather, and everyone who had skates and knew how to use them came out to enjoy the first real ice of the season. The banks were packed with spectators, and it motivated the skilled skaters to know that their performances would be watched and praised by such an audience.
"Goodness, girls! Did you ever see such a crush?" asked Louie feverishly, hurrying her pace, as she, Nan, and Ruth neared the spot.
"Wow, girls! Have you ever seen such a crowd?" Louie asked excitedly, quickening her pace as she, Nan, and Ruth approached the area.
"There won't be room to move," announced Nan, adding with a laugh, "much less to fall down in."
"There won't be any space to move," Nan said, chuckling, "let alone to fall down."
"All the better for me! I'll put on my skates and let the crowd push me round. I'm never too sure of myself, but in a crush like this, one can't go over, so I'm saved a heap of worry!" cried Ruth with a jolly laugh.
"All the better for me! I'll put on my skates and let the crowd push me around. I'm never really sure of myself, but in a crowd like this, it's hard to fall, so I’m saved from a ton of stress!" Ruth exclaimed with a cheerful laugh.
Nan's skates were on in a twinkling, and she longed with all her heart to be off and away. But the sight of poor Louie, struggling vainly with her refractory straps, kept her back.
Nan had her skates on in a flash, and she couldn't wait to skate away. But seeing poor Louie struggling unsuccessfully with her stubborn straps held her back.
"Oh, do hurry," urged Ruth excitedly.
"Oh, please hurry," Ruth urged excitedly.
"Did you ever see such contrary things?" gasped Louie, her cheeks crimson with cold, and the exertion of bending double in her fur jacket.
"Have you ever seen such opposite things?" gasped Louie, her cheeks red from the cold and from bending over in her fur jacket.
"Give them to me; I'll get them on in a jiffy," and Nan was down on her knees and the skates secured before Louie had even time to thank her with a look.
"Hand them over; I’ll put them on in no time," and Nan was already on her knees, getting the skates on before Louie even had a chance to thank her with a glance.
"Now, do come on!" cried Ruth, fairly dancing with eagerness.
"Come on!" Ruth exclaimed, practically bouncing with excitement.
"Oh, wait! wait! Please wait!" pleaded Louie. "This is the first time I've been on the ice this year, and I feel so nervous I could scream."
"Oh, wait! wait! Please wait!" Louie urged. "This is the first time I've been on the ice this year, and I'm so nervous I could scream."
John Gardiner spun past with a nod and a flourish, but a moment later wheeled about and came skimming up to where they were standing, saying briskly:
John Gardiner zipped by with a nod and a flourish, but a moment later turned around and glided up to where they were standing, saying cheerfully:
"Jolly day, isn't it? Ice in first-rate shape, too. Too many people, but after a few of them get tired out it will be all right. Don't suppose they'd care to stand aside and let us show them what skating is, eh, Nan?"
"Great day, isn't it? The ice is in excellent condition, too. There's a lot of people here, but once a few of them tire out, it will be fine. I bet they wouldn’t mind stepping aside to let us show them how to skate, right, Nan?"
Nan laughed. "Perhaps they wouldn't like the figures we'd cut. I'm not sure I would myself. Pride goes before a fall, and I'd rather be a bit humble and keep on my feet."
Nan laughed. "Maybe they wouldn't like the impression we make. I'm not sure I would either. Pride comes before a fall, and I'd rather stay a little humble and keep my balance."
"As though you'd ever take a tumble," cried the young fellow with great scorn. "Oh, I say, come along and let's do a turn or two, as we did on the Steamer last year. Don't you remember what a rousing cheer we got? Let's try it again."
"As if you’d ever take a fall," shouted the young guy with lots of mockery. "Come on, let’s dance a bit like we did on the Steamer last year. Do you remember how much applause we received? Let's do it again."
For an instant Nan's blood leaped. She liked to do daring things, and she loved applause. John Gardiner was as much at home on his skates as she was on hers, and they were singularly at ease together. Moreover, way down in her heart was a sort of lurking pride at being especially chosen by this favorite among the "fellows" and being seen with him in his attractive suit and his graceful "Norwegians" that were the envy and admiration of all the other fellows in town. It certainly was a temptation, and for a moment Nan yielded to it. Then she looked at Louie's anxious face and shook her head.
For a moment, Nan's heart raced. She loved doing adventurous things and enjoyed the applause that came with it. John Gardiner was as comfortable on his skates as she was on hers, and they felt relaxed together. Additionally, deep down, she felt a sense of pride in being chosen by this popular guy among the "fellas" and being seen with him in his sharp suit and stylish "Norwegians," which everyone else in town envied and admired. It was definitely tempting, and for a second, Nan gave in to it. Then she glanced at Louie's worried face and shook her head.
"I'm heaps obliged," she said. "But I guess I'd better not to-day. It wasn't much harm at the Steamer, for there was no crowd there to speak of; but here it's so public, I'm afraid it wouldn't look well."
"I'm really grateful," she said. "But I think I should hold off today. It wasn't a big deal at the Steamer since there wasn't much of a crowd; but here, it's so public that I worry it wouldn't seem appropriate."
John threw back his head and laughed.
John tossed his head back and laughed.
"As if you cared how things look!" he cried, frankly.
"As if you cared about how things look!" he yelled, honestly.
Nan's cheeks reddened furiously. She looked down and drew a figure on the ice with the tip of her skate. Her confusion could not escape him, and he caught himself up instantly. "I mean, you've always been so sensible, you know. You haven't cared for tattle or nonsense. That's what's made us like you so. A fellow hasn't had to be on the continual jump for fear your hat wasn't on straight or your hair was coming down. You're as plucky as a boy, and it's like having another jolly, good fellow about when you're around. You're not going back on all that? You aren't going to turn girly-girly? You aren't going to be a Nancy, are you?"
Nan's cheeks turned bright red. She looked down and traced a shape in the ice with the tip of her skate. He noticed her confusion and quickly corrected himself. "I mean, you've always been so sensible, you know. You haven't cared about gossip or nonsense. That's what we like about you so much. No one has to constantly worry that your hat isn't on straight or your hair is a mess. You're as brave as a boy, and it's like having another good friend around when you're here. You're not going to change all that, are you? You’re not going to act all delicate? You’re not going to be a wimp, are you?"
She lifted her head with a jerk. "No; I'm going to stay plain Nan," she retorted. "But I can't go out with you this morning, John—at least not now. Later I may take a turn if you're willing."
She suddenly lifted her head. "No; I'm going to stay plain Nan," she replied sharply. "But I can't go out with you this morning, John—at least not right now. I might take a walk later if you're up for it."
He saw that there was no shaking her resolution, and turned away with a frown and a sigh.
He realized there was no changing her mind, so he turned away with a scowl and a sigh.
"Very well. If you won't, you won't. I'll look you up by and by, though, and maybe you'll have changed your mind by then," and he was off like a flash, his flying feet seeming scarcely to touch the ice, and his long, curved, glistening skates flashing back the sunlight from their dazzling nickel blades.
"Alright then. If you won't, you won't. I'll check in on you later, though, and maybe you'll have changed your mind by then," and he was off like a shot, his quick feet barely seeming to touch the ice, and his long, curved, shiny skates reflecting the sunlight from their bright nickel blades.
Louie clutched Nan's arm. "Oh, I'm so glad you didn't go!" she said, agitatedly. "I'm all of a tremble, and I'm sure I'll slip if you don't hold on to me."
Louie grabbed Nan's arm. "Oh, I'm so glad you didn't go!" she said, anxiously. "I'm trembling all over, and I'm sure I'll fall if you don't hold on to me."
So Nan held on to her, and slowly piloted her this way and that, urging her gently to strike out alone, and patiently waiting until she had the courage to try. Ruth darted hither and thither, minding it as little when she went down herself as when she was the cause of others doing so, and always skating with an awkward energy that was refreshing to behold.
So Nan held on to her, and gradually guided her this way and that, encouraging her to venture out on her own, and patiently waiting until she felt brave enough to give it a try. Ruth zipped around, not caring much when she fell herself or when she caused others to fall, and she always skated with a clumsy energy that was fun to watch.
"O Nan!" panted Louie, "how did you learn?"
"O Nan!" Louie gasped, "how did you find out?"
"By getting up whenever I fell down," declared Nan, succinctly.
"By getting up every time I fell down," Nan stated simply.
Ruth came toward them with arms flying like windmills.
Ruth approached them with her arms flailing around like windmills.
"O girls!" she gasped; but just here her feet went from under her, and she sat squarely upon the ice with a great plump. "O girls!" she repeated, not a bit abashed and without trying to get up, "Mary Brewster and Grace are over there, and they just asked John to take them out—at least Mary did—and he said he was ever so sorry, but his 'card was full,' and they are simply furious."
"O girls!" she exclaimed; but just then her feet slipped out from under her, and she landed squarely on the ice with a big thud. "O girls!" she said again, not at all embarrassed and without making any attempt to get up, "Mary Brewster and Grace are over there, and they just asked John to take them out—well, at least Mary did—and he said he was really sorry, but his 'schedule was full,' and they are absolutely furious."
"Get up!" commanded Nan, with lips that would twitch in spite of her efforts to control them. "You'll catch your death of cold!"
"Get up!" Nan ordered, her lips twitching despite her attempts to hold them still. "You'll catch a deathly cold!"
Ruth grasped her outstretched hand and struggled to her feet. "How are you getting on, Lu?" she asked, shaking the snow from her skirts.
Ruth took her outstretched hand and worked her way up to her feet. "How's it going, Lu?" she asked, shaking the snow off her skirts.
"I think I'm doing a little better. Don't you, Nan?" appealed Louie, tremulously.
"I think I'm doing a little better. Don't you, Nan?" Louie asked, nervously.
"Why, yes. You'll skate as well as any one after you've once gained courage," Nan returned cheerfully, and took up the slow, tedious task again of steering her laboriously this way and that, Louie meanwhile clinging to her arm and uttering little panic-stricken shrieks that irritated Nan beyond measure. No one could conceive how hard it was for the girl not to desert her clinging companion. She knew in her heart that Louie would never master the knack unless she were made to rely upon herself. As long as she could depend on Nan's support she would not make any effort to use her own energy, nor would she exert her will-power to force herself to strike out alone. The ice was in perfect condition to-day, but it would not long remain so with such a crowd cutting it to pieces, and the sun already thawing the powdered snow and threatening to do more damage to-morrow. If Nan lost her chance now she might not have another so good in weeks to come, for the weather was always uncertain and the holidays were short. Everything seemed to urge her to break loose from her self-imposed martyrdom and go her way rejoicing; the crisp air that sang in her ears and filled her with a sense of glorious exhilaration; the shimmering sunlight on the ice that seemed to scud before her and invite her to join in the race; the knowledge that she was in reality doing Louie a doubtful service by staying beside her, and, last of all, the look of disappointment in John's eyes as he shot past them at intervals, and saw that Nan was not yet ready to capitulate. A sort of war with herself was waging in her mind; her sense of duty against her preferences; her long established habits against her newly found resolutions. She had resolved to be like other girls in the future. It was like headlong, impulsive Nan to make a resolve like this, and never stop to realize that it was only the exaggeration of herself that proved objectionable; that it would be as impossible for her to be sedate and silent and serious as for a dashing dandelion to become a dainty buttercup.
"Of course! You'll skate just as well as anyone once you find your confidence," Nan replied cheerfully, and resumed the slow, tedious task of guiding Louie back and forth, while Louie clung to her arm, letting out little panic-stricken shrieks that frustrated Nan to no end. No one could know how difficult it was for her not to abandon her clingy friend. Deep down, she understood that Louie would never learn unless she had to rely on herself. As long as Louie could count on Nan's support, she wouldn't put in the effort to tap into her own strength or push herself to strike out on her own. The ice conditions were perfect today, but they wouldn’t last long with so many people skating and the sun already melting the powdered snow, threatening even more damage tomorrow. If Nan missed this opportunity, she might not get another as good for weeks, given the unpredictable weather and the short holiday season. Everything seemed to encourage her to break free from her self-imposed role and enjoy herself; the crisp air sang in her ears and filled her with a glorious exhilaration; the shimmering sunlight on the ice seemed to glide ahead of her, inviting her to join in the fun; the realization that she was actually doing Louie a disservice by staying close to her; and finally, the look of disappointment in John's eyes as he passed them periodically, noticing that Nan wasn't ready to give in yet. A sort of internal battle was raging in her mind; her sense of duty clashed with her desires; her long-established habits fought against her new resolutions. She had decided to be like other girls moving forward. It was classic, impulsive Nan to make such a promise without realizing that it was only her own exaggeration that was problematic; just like it would be impossible for a bold dandelion to transform into a delicate buttercup.
To her it seemed as if Miss Blake and the rest—were demanding of her just such a metamorphosis and she had been trying—she really had—to recast herself in the mold she thought they exacted. And now here came John Gardiner, surely the nicest and most mannerly young fellow she knew, and the one whom even Miss Blake was pleased to call "a perfect gentleman"—here came John Gardiner, and told her that her despised characteristics were precisely the ones that made her valuable. She shook her head. It was no use; she could not understand.
To her, it felt like Miss Blake and the others were expecting her to completely change, and she had been trying—she really had—to reshape herself into what she thought they wanted. And now here came John Gardiner, definitely the nicest and most polite guy she knew, the one whom even Miss Blake referred to as "a perfect gentleman"—here came John Gardiner, telling her that the traits she disliked about herself were exactly what made her special. She shook her head. It was pointless; she just couldn’t grasp it.
"O Nan!" cried Louie, shunting along clumsily by her side and clutching her arm in desperation. "Won't you please get me over to the shore? I'm all tired out. I guess I'll go in for a bit and warm up and get rested, and then I'll come out again, may be, and take another try."
"O Nan!" cried Louie, awkwardly moving alongside her and grabbing her arm in desperation. "Could you please help me get to the shore? I'm completely worn out. I think I'll go in for a bit to warm up and rest, and then maybe I'll come back out and give it another shot."
Nan assented with alacrity.
Nan agreed eagerly.
"You've made a pretty good beginning," she said with new encouragement in her voice.
"You've made a really good start," she said, sounding more encouraging.
"Oh, it's always the same!" wailed Louie. "Year before last I got so I could do it quite respectably, and then last year I had to learn all over again. I really thought I'd pick it up where I left off this year, but you see how it is! The very sight of the ice when I'm on skates makes me quake."
"Oh, it's always the same!" Louie cried. "The year before last, I got to the point where I could do it pretty well, and then last year I had to start from scratch. I really thought I could just pick it up where I left off this year, but you can see how it is! Just the sight of the ice when I'm on skates makes me nervous."
"Just force yourself to do it and you'll be surprised to see how soon you'll be skimming all over creation," advised Nan, as she unfastened her friend's skates and saw her start stiffly up the path to the Lodge.
"Just push yourself to do it and you'll be amazed at how quickly you'll be gliding all over the place," said Nan, as she unbuckled her friend's skates and watched her begin to walk awkwardly up the path to the Lodge.
Her heart gave a bound as she realized that she was at last alone and untrammeled. She pulled her Russian cap well into place, thrust her hands deep into her pockets, and set out for the middle of the lake, her lithe young body swaying gently forward as she was carried this way and that by her gliding feet. She looked about for John, but he was nowhere to be seen, and she concluded that he had given up expecting her and had either gone home or joined other friends. Ruth was forging about after her own peculiar fashion, getting in every one's way and under every one's feet, and enjoying it all immensely. She was perfectly self-reliant, and Nan did not feel that there was any necessity of offering assistance or even companionship to such a self-sufficient, resolute maiden, and so she set about enjoying her independence with a clear conscience. A moment later she had forgotten everything but the keen delight of the delicious exercise; the fresh current of air upon her cheeks; the sense of flashing through space "without any appreciable effort; the knowledge of her mastery of the art. She had not a shadow of fear. Instead, she felt a sort of wild exultation in her own daring, and set about doing difficult feats with an added delight in the very risk of the thing. Suddenly a shadow shot toward her from the back, caught her by the arm and went flying forward, suiting his rhythm to hers in an instant.
Her heart raced as she realized she was finally alone and free. She pulled her Russian cap down, shoved her hands deep into her pockets, and headed for the middle of the lake, her lithe young body swaying gently as her gliding feet carried her this way and that. She looked around for John, but he was nowhere to be found, and she figured he had given up waiting for her and had either gone home or joined other friends. Ruth was stumbling around in her own quirky way, getting in everyone’s way and under their feet, and loving every moment of it. She was completely self-reliant, and Nan didn’t feel the need to offer help or even companionship to such an independent, determined girl, so she focused on enjoying her own freedom with a clear conscience. In no time, she had forgotten everything except the pure joy of the invigorating exercise; the fresh air on her cheeks; the sense of flying through space with “no apparent effort; the feeling of mastering the skill. She didn’t feel any fear. Instead, she felt a wild thrill in her own bravery, taking on challenging moves with even more excitement at the very risk of it all. Suddenly, a shadow rushed toward her from behind, grabbed her arm, and flew forward, matching her rhythm in an instant.
"Oh! heyo, John! I thought you'd gone home!" said Nan.
"Oh! Hey, John! I thought you had gone home!" said Nan.
"Not a bit of it. Think I'd leave the ice when it's as prime as this? Not much. What under the canopy have you been about all this time? Toting Lou Hawes around when you ought to be making the best of the rarest chance you'll get this season, maybe?"
"Not at all. Do you really think I'd leave the ice when it's this good? Not a chance. What have you been up to all this time under the canopy? Carrying Lou Hawes around when you should be taking advantage of the best opportunity you'll get this season, right?"
"Oh, that's all right," rejoined Nan in a matter-of-fact way. "I liked to do it—for a change. And she's a little timid."
"Oh, that's fine," Nan replied casually. "I enjoyed doing it—for a change. And she's a bit shy."
"Well now, you're free, let's have a couple of extra good turns just to make up for lost time," and he took her hand and started off on a fine, free swing, Nan gliding beside him in such perfect accord that it seemed as if one impulse moved them both. They swung apart rejoined, and swung apart again. Then, dropping her hand John gave a curving glide to the right which took him a pace ahead of her, and she, repeating his movement, but toward the left, passed easily before him on the other side, so on and on in a sort of progressive chain, until at a sign they sped backward, reversing the order in which they had come, and reached the starting point and circled round it, clasping crossed hands and chatting gayly the while.
"Well now, you're free, let’s have a few extra good spins to make up for lost time," he said, taking her hand and setting off with a smooth, carefree motion. Nan glided alongside him in such perfect harmony that it felt like they were both moved by the same energy. They swung apart, then rejoined, and swung apart again. Then, releasing her hand, John made a graceful turn to the right, stepping a pace ahead of her. She mirrored his move but turned left, easily passing in front of him on the other side. They continued this way in a sort of flowing chain until, with a signal, they sped backward, reversing their path, reaching the starting point, and circling around it while holding hands and chatting happily.
John saw that they had already attracted some attention, and it only made his pulses quicken. He also saw that Nan was oblivious to everything, but the mere delight of what she was doing, and he did not think it worth while to remind her that this was not the Steamer, and that if she wished to be inconspicuous, as she had suggested, she would better limit herself strictly to a commonplace gait. Instead he bent toward her, and said in a quick, low undertone, "I'll bet a quarter you've forgotten how to cut your name."
John noticed that they had already caught some attention, which only made his heart race. He also saw that Nan was completely unaware of everything around her, lost in the joy of what she was doing. He didn’t find it necessary to remind her that this wasn’t the Steamer and that if she wanted to blend in, as she suggested, she should stick to a more ordinary way of walking. Instead, he leaned in closer and said in a quick, quiet tone, "I’ll bet you a quarter that you’ve forgotten how to write your name."
"Oh, have I?" cried Nan, the spur pricking sharply at her pride. "Want to see me do it?" and off she went accordingly, accomplishing the difficult figure without a thought of hesitation, and returning to his side laughing and triumphant.
"Oh, have I?" shouted Nan, the spur sharply poking at her pride. "Want to see me do it?" and off she went, nailing the tricky move without a second thought, and came back to his side laughing and victorious.
"Now the spiral! Forward! Left foot first! Now right! Combination!"
"Now the spiral! Forward! Left foot first! Now right! Combine!"
John gave the directions in a sort of tense whisper. He was mortally afraid Nan would become conscious, and see what was going on about her. But he might have spared himself the trouble. She was absolutely blind to the crowd that had gathered about them, and all the commendation she was aware of was that which he gave her in a murmured "Good!" or "Fine!"
John whispered the directions in a tense way. He was really scared that Nan would wake up and notice what was happening around her. But he could have saved himself the worry. She was completely unaware of the crowd that had gathered around them, and all the praise she could hear was the quiet “Good!” or “Fine!” he gave her.
A wide circle had been cleared for them, and in it they and one or two other hardy souls were exhibiting their prowess, while the throng outside whispered and applauded and made comments on the different skaters and their respective skill and grace.
A large circle had been cleared for them, and in it they and a couple of other brave souls were showing off their skills, while the crowd outside whispered, clapped, and made comments about the different skaters and their individual talent and grace.
"There! That's the serpentine he's doing now! Isn't it pretty?"
"There! That's the serpentine he's doing now! Isn't it beautiful?"
"It must be frightfully hard to go backward like that!"
"It must be really tough to go backward like that!"
"I should think he'd fall on his head!"
"I think he's going to fall on his head!"
"Look! See! She's starting off again! Doesn't she do it well?"
"Look! See! She's starting again! Doesn't she do it well?"
"Who is she, anyway?"
"Who is she, though?"
Nan had completed her figure, and was waiting at the edge of the circle for John to finish his and to come and join her. She stood well back, so that she might not interfere with the others, and thus it was that she was waked from her trance with an abrupt shock by the sound of two whispering voices, seeming almost at her ear, their murmur carried so in the chill, crystal air.
Nan had finished her figure and was waiting at the edge of the circle for John to finish his and come join her. She stood back so she wouldn’t bother the others, and that’s how she was jolted from her trance by the sound of two whispering voices that seemed almost right next to her, their murmurs carried in the cold, clear air.
"Didn't I tell you she was a bold thing?"
"Didn't I tell you she was really daring?"
"Sh! She'll hear you! She's right in front of us—only those men between."
"Shh! She'll hear you! She's right in front of us—only those guys in between."
"No she won't, either. We're too far away. Didn't I tell you Lu's and Ruth's friendship was for one night only? I knew well enough why Lu asked her to come. Any one could see through that. She wants to learn how to skate, and this was as ready a way as any to be taught, and she jumps at the chance."
"No, she won't either. We're too far away. Didn't I tell you Lu's and Ruth's friendship was just for one night? I knew exactly why Lu invited her. Anyone could see through that. She wants to learn how to skate, and this was as good a way as any to get lessons, and she jumped at the chance."
"Oh, do hush! She'll hear!"
"Oh, be quiet! She'll hear!"
"Don't care if she does. I don't know what your opinion is, but mine is that it's positively brazen of her to do such things before a crowd like this. Dragging John Gardiner into it, too! It's a disgrace!"
"Don't care if she does. I don't know what you think, but I believe it's really bold of her to act like that in front of everyone. Dragging John Gardiner into it, too! It's shameful!"
"Sh, please! There he comes!"
"Shh, please! Here he comes!"
Nan pulled herself wearily forward a step or two to meet him.
Nan tiredly took a step or two to meet him.
"I say, what's up? What's the matter?" he demanded anxiously, looking into her face and seeing the change it had undergone.
"I say, what's up? What's going on?" he asked nervously, looking into her face and noticing the change it had gone through.
"Nothing! Nothing!" she reassured him quickly. "I'm tired, that's all. And I didn't realize these people were watching us. Let's get out of this. I hate the way they stare. I want to go home."
"Nothing! Nothing!" she quickly assured him. "I'm just tired, that's all. I didn’t notice these people were watching us. Let’s get out of here. I hate how they stare. I want to go home."
John took her by the elbow and steered for the bank.
John took her by the elbow and led her toward the bank.
"Won't you find Grace and Louie first? You came with them, didn't you? They won't know what's become of you."
"Could you find Grace and Louie first? You came here with them, right? They’ll be worried about you."
"I don't care! I want to go home!" she repeated irritably.
"I don't care! I want to go home!" she said, clearly annoyed.
They sped forward silently, and in a moment had reached the shore. Nan trembled so as she tried to unfasten her skates that John pushed her hands aside and made her submit to having him assist her.
They moved quickly and quietly, and soon they were at the shore. Nan was shaking as she tried to take off her skates, so John pushed her hands aside and insisted on helping her.
"You've caught cold!" he said remorsefully, "I was a brute to keep urging you on. But I didn't dream you were tired. You looked so bright and well."
"You've caught a cold!" he said regretfully, "I was thoughtless to keep pushing you. But I had no idea you were tired. You looked so lively and healthy."
"I'm not tired. I haven't caught cold!" said Nan. "Don't bother about me, please. Go back and finish up your skate!"
"I'm not tired. I haven't caught a cold!" said Nan. "Don't worry about me, please. Go back and finish your skating!"
"Thank you kindly, ma'am," rejoined he, removing his own skates. "But I've finished it up already," and he grasped her arm and tramped her off in the direction of the Park entrance with vigorous steps.
"Thank you very much, ma'am," he replied, taking off his skates. "But I've already finished it," and he took her arm and walked her toward the Park entrance with energetic strides.
"Won't Lou and Ruth wonder?" he ventured again after a moment of silence.
"Don't Lou and Ruth wonder?" he asked again after a moment of silence.
"No! They don't care!" cried Nan, dismally.
"No! They don’t care!" Nan cried, feeling down.
"The mischief they don't!" and John gave vent to an exclamation of disbelief. "Why, Ruth was only telling me half an hour ago how good and generous you were, and Louie caught me in the Lodge and went into regular spasms over you. You're the patientest, the generousest—everythingelse-est girl she knows. I had actually to tear myself away from her raptures when I saw that you were free of her and could take a turn with me."
"The mischief they don't!” John exclaimed in disbelief. “Just half an hour ago, Ruth was saying how good and generous you are, and Louie cornered me in the Lodge and went into a complete frenzy about you. You’re the most patient, the most generous—everything else—girl she knows. I had to literally pull myself away from her excitement when I saw that you were free from her and could spend some time with me."
Nan shook her head.
Nan just shook her head.
"No, you're wrong, John!" she said hopelessly. "They don't like me. None of them do. It's no use. I thought Christmas eve I might make them, perhaps—but I give it up. I'm too—different!"
"No, you're wrong, John!" she said with despair. "They don't like me. None of them do. It's pointless. I thought maybe on Christmas Eve I could win them over, but I give up. I'm too—different!"
"Now, see here, Nan!" cried John, stopping suddenly in the middle of the path and confronting her squarely, "this change of base has come on you all of a sudden. You weren't in such a state before. You've seen something or heard something that's given you a turn. Say now, haven't you, honestly?"
"Listen up, Nan!" John exclaimed, halting abruptly in the middle of the path and facing her directly. "This shift in your mood has hit you out of nowhere. You weren’t like this before. You’ve seen or heard something that’s shaken you up. Come on, haven’t you, really?"
Nan gulped and nodded grimly.
Nan gulped and nodded sadly.
"I thought so. Well, now, you say you're different from the other girls, and so you are in most ways, but just at present you're doing the silliest trick I know. Going off by yourself and making people miserable all around. Do you know what a fellow would do in your place? Why, he'd go straight to the man he'd heard or seen back-biting him and he'd make him come out fair and square and own up—or shut up. 'You pays your money and you takes your choice.' That's what a fellow would do. But girls prefer to be martyrs and go about 'letting concealment prey upon their damask cheeks' and all that namby-pamby nonsense. Pshaw! I wouldn't give a rush for a girl's courage. It's all humbug."
"I thought so. Well, now, you say you're different from other girls, and you are in many ways, but right now you're doing the silliest thing I can think of. You're isolating yourself and making everyone around you miserable. Do you know what a guy would do in your spot? He'd go straight to the person who’s been talking behind his back and confront him—either get him to admit it or to stop talking. 'You pay your money, you take your choice.' That's what a guy would do. But girls would rather act like martyrs and wander around 'letting their hidden feelings eat away at their beauty' and all that silly nonsense. Pshaw! I wouldn't give much for a girl's courage. It's all just talk."
"It isn't any such thing!" cried Nan, hastening to defend her sex. "It isn't because I'm afraid that I don't go straight up to the—the person. It's because I have too much pride. I wouldn't demean myself by letting her know I care."
"It’s not like that at all!" Nan exclaimed, eager to stand up for her gender. "It’s not that I’m scared to confront the—person. It’s that I have too much pride. I wouldn’t lower myself by letting her know I care."
"Oh, fudge! Pride! I like that! Care? Why, whoever she is, she can see that, anyhow, with half an eye. It's as plain as preaching. You came with Lu and Ruth, and were as gay and jolly as could be. Then, all of a sudden, you turn grumpy and want to go home, and say Lu and Ruth don't like you. The explanation of that is simple enough. You've heard some one saying something about you, or pretending to repeat something Lu and Ruth have said about you. There! Now haven't I hit the nail on the head?"
"Oh, come on! Pride! I like that! Care? Whoever she is, she can see that, anyway, with just half a glance. It's as obvious as can be. You came with Lu and Ruth, and you were as cheerful and fun as could be. Then, all of a sudden, you turn moody and want to go home, claiming Lu and Ruth don't like you. The reason for that is pretty straightforward. You've overheard someone saying something about you, or someone pretending to repeat something Lu and Ruth said about you. There! Haven't I nailed it?"
Nan made no reply.
Nan didn't respond.
"I wager I have, though," continued the young fellow, watching her closely, and drawing many of his conclusions from the evidence of her tell-tale face. "And I'd be ashamed, even if I were a girl, to let myself be worried by a thing like that. Besides, it isn't fair to Lu and Ruth. You ought to give them a chance to set themselves straight. You've no right to believe things of them till you've their own word for it that it's true. Give them a chance, and if they act queer you can throw them over."
"I bet I have, though," the young man said, watching her closely and drawing many of his conclusions from the expression on her face. "And I'd be embarrassed, even if I were a girl, to let something like that get to me. Plus, it isn’t fair to Lu and Ruth. You should give them a chance to explain themselves. You can't assume things about them until you hear it from them directly. Give them a chance, and if they act weird, you can just walk away."
"But I can't ask them," burst out Nan. "It wasn't anything they said. It was about the way they feel, and if I give them a chance they may throw me over."
"But I can't ask them," Nan exclaimed. "It wasn't anything they said. It was about how they feel, and if I give them a chance, they might choose to reject me."
John laughed. "True for you. They may. But anyway, you'd have done the just thing. Whatever they did to you, you'd have played fair."
John laughed. "That's true for you. They might. But anyway, you would have done the right thing. No matter what they did to you, you would have played fair."
Nan thought a moment. Suddenly she turned on her heel and began to retrace her steps. "I'm going back," she said, stoutly, "to find Lu and Ruth! and—and—give them that chance."
Nan thought for a moment. Suddenly, she turned on her heel and started to walk back. "I'm going back," she said firmly, "to find Lu and Ruth! And—and—give them that chance."
"There! Now you're behaving like an honest man," announced John, with gusto. "One can't afford to be too perpendicular."
"There! Now you're acting like an honest guy," John declared with enthusiasm. "You can't be too uptight."
But before they had taken a dozen steps they came upon the two girls themselves, running breathlessly toward them.
But before they had taken twelve steps, they encountered the two girls themselves, running breathlessly toward them.
"O Nan!" panted Louie. "What is the matter? Are you sick? Are you hurt? We couldn't find you anywhere!"
"O Nan!" Louie puffed. "What’s wrong? Are you sick? Are you hurt? We couldn’t find you anywhere!"
"We looked all over and got terribly nervous, and at last Mary Brewster told us you had gone home," Ruth broke in, gaspingly.
"We searched everywhere and got really anxious, and finally, Mary Brewster told us you went home," Ruth interrupted, out of breath.
"She said John had taken you, and that you kind of walked as if you were dizzy or something. We've run all the way! Do say, are you sick?" pleaded Louie.
"She said John had taken you, and that you seemed a bit dazed or something. We've run all the way! Please tell me, are you okay?" urged Louie.
"Or hurt?" articulated Ruth.
"Or hurt?" said Ruth.
John and Nan regarded each other solemnly for a moment. Then they both broke into a peal of laughter. Nan was the first to speak.
John and Nan looked at each other seriously for a moment. Then they both burst into laughter. Nan was the first to say something.
"No, I'm not sick and I wasn't hurt—the way you mean. I was a goose—that's all. I want you to forgive me."
"No, I'm not sick and I wasn't hurt—the way you think. I was being foolish—that's all. I want you to forgive me."
"What for?" demanded the girls, in a breath.
"What for?" the girls asked, breathlessly.
"Why, for—for—making you run after me," replied Nan.
"Why, for—for—making you chase after me," replied Nan.
CHAPTER XIV
CHANGES
"Let's go back after luncheon," suggested Ruth as they tramped homeward.
"Let’s head back after lunch," suggested Ruth as they walked home.
The others assented heartily enough, and Nan was so eager to return to her sport that she did not wait for Delia to let her in at the upper door, but burst through the basement way, and ran against Miss Blake in the lower hall.
The others agreed enthusiastically, and Nan was so excited to get back to her game that she didn't wait for Delia to let her in through the upper door. Instead, she burst through the basement entrance and collided with Miss Blake in the lower hall.
"Oh, excuse me!" she panted. "We've had a glorious time. We're going out again. Please may I have a bite of something quick, so I can run? We want to make the most of the daylight, and Lu can almost go alone."
"Oh, excuse me!" she gasped. "We've had an amazing time. We're heading out again. Can I grab a quick bite to eat so I can hurry? We want to take full advantage of the daylight, and Lu can almost manage on her own."
"Certainly. Delia has everything on the table. But won't you want to run upstairs and give your face and hands a little scrub?"
"Sure. Delia has everything ready on the table. But don't you want to go upstairs and wash your face and hands a bit?"
Nan's forehead wrinkled, and she was on the point of uttering an exclamation of disgust. But she caught herself up, and pressing her lips together hard, flew upstairs without a word of protest. She finished her luncheon in marvelously quick time.
Nan's forehead creased, and she was about to express her disgust. But she stopped herself, pressed her lips together tightly, and rushed upstairs without saying a word. She finished her lunch in record time.
"If you wish to go you may be excused," her companion announced, as the last crumb was swallowed. A gleam of surprise lit upon Nan's face.
"If you want to leave, you can go," her companion said as the last crumb was swallowed. A look of surprise crossed Nan's face.
"Thank you," she said, and went her way feeling more contented with herself than she had done in many a long day.
"Thanks," she said, and walked away feeling more satisfied with herself than she had in a long time.
It was late when she returned, and not finding Miss Blake in any other part of the house, she went to the governess' room and tapped on the door for admittance, a thing she had never done before, from pure perversity and a determination not to "let any person suppose she cared to see them when she didn't have to."
It was late when she got back, and not seeing Miss Blake anywhere else in the house, she went to the governess's room and knocked on the door to be let in, something she had never done before, out of sheer stubbornness and a desire not to "let anyone think she wanted to see them when she didn't have to."
Miss Blake herself opened the door to her and invited her to "step into her parlor," most cordially, adding:
Miss Blake herself opened the door and warmly invited her to "step into her parlor," adding:
"I'm just having my afternoon tea. Won't you take a cup with me?"
"I'm just having my afternoon tea. Would you like to join me for a cup?"
At first Nan could scarcely find voice to reply, so strange did she feel in this altered room. When she had last seen it it was bare and cold and comfortless, and now—
At first, Nan could barely find her voice to respond, feeling so odd in this changed room. The last time she had seen it, it was empty, cold, and uncomfortable, and now—
The windows were draped with inner curtains of dainty Swiss. Hangings of some soft, pale green stuff hung before them and in all the doorways. The bed was shoved into a far corner of the room, and where it had once been, against the wall, a low bookcase now stood, displaying rows of tempting books upon its well-laden shelves, and above them delicate bits of bric-à-brac. A rug covered the centre of the floor. The ugly mantel-shelf was hidden from sight by an Oriental scarf, and upon it stood all manner of odd and curious trifles. The shabby lounge was covered by a fine old rug and piled with cushions, while beside it stood the quaint stand and brass tray that Nan had feasted from when her foot was lame; only now it held a brightly burnished alcohol kettle, out of which steam was issuing in the most hospitable fashion possible. Here also were dainty cups and saucers, and here it was that Miss Blake brewed her tea after she had led her guest to a chair and helped her remove her cap and coat with all the solicitude of a veritable hostess.
The windows were covered with delicate Swiss curtains. Soft, pale green fabric hung in front of them and in all the doorways. The bed was pushed into a corner of the room, and in its place against the wall stood a low bookcase, showcasing rows of tempting books on its well-stocked shelves, along with delicate decorative items above them. A rug covered the center of the floor. The unattractive mantel was concealed by an Oriental scarf, upon which stood all sorts of quirky and interesting trinkets. The worn lounge was topped with a beautiful old rug and piled with cushions, while next to it was the charming stand and brass tray that Nan had used when her foot was hurting; now it held a shiny alcohol kettle, from which steam was rising in the most welcoming way. There were also delicate cups and saucers, and this was where Miss Blake brewed her tea after leading her guest to a chair and helping her take off her cap and coat with the care of a true hostess.
"Well, how has the day gone?" asked she, trying not to betray her amusement at Nan's obvious amazement.
"Well, how did your day go?" she asked, trying not to reveal her amusement at Nan's clear surprise.
"Oh, finely! We had a jolly good time. Lu can go alone now. John and I took her out and simply made her skate. Ruth goes floundering about like a seal, and every one laughs at her, but she's so good-natured she doesn't mind, and one can't help liking her. Such a funny thing happened.
"Oh, finally! We had a really great time. Lu can go on her own now. John and I took her out and just made her skate. Ruth flops around like a seal, and everyone laughs at her, but she's so easygoing about it that she doesn’t care, and you can’t help but like her. Something really funny happened."
"We were standing still for a minute waiting for Lu to catch her breath, and all at once we saw Ruth coming galloping toward us in her ridiculous way. A big, fat man was skating in the other direction, but nowhere near her, and we didn't notice him particularly till she veered suddenly off and crashed straight into him, without any excuse at all, just hurled into him plump, and bowled him square over. It was the most deliberate thing I ever saw. She had gone out of her way to do it, but, of course, she didn't mean to. They both went crashing down with such a thump I thought it would break the ice, and as he went over he said: 'Good gracious!' in the mildest, funniest voice you ever heard. John hurried off and helped him up, and I got Ruth on her feet again, all covered with snow, and as mortified as could be, but choking with laughter. The man looked worried, and we asked him if he was hurt. He said, 'No! Oh, no indeed!' and then he turned to Ruth with the most embarrassed sort of apologetic smile—just as if he had been to blame.
"We stood there for a minute waiting for Lu to catch her breath, and suddenly we saw Ruth coming towards us in her usual goofy way. A big, overweight guy was skating in the opposite direction, but he was nowhere near her, and we didn’t really pay attention to him until she abruptly swerved and crashed right into him, for no reason at all, just slammed into him hard and knocked him over. It was the most intentional thing I ever witnessed. She definitely went out of her way to do it, but, of course, it wasn’t on purpose. They both went down with such a thud I thought the ice might crack, and as he fell, he exclaimed, ‘Good gracious!’ in the gentlest, funniest voice you could imagine. John rushed over to help him up, and I got Ruth back on her feet, all covered in snow and completely mortified but struggling not to laugh. The man looked worried, and we asked if he was okay. He replied, ‘No! Oh, no indeed!’ and then he turned to Ruth with the most awkward apologetic smile—like he was the one at fault."
"'I'm so sorry!' he stammered. 'It is the strangest thing how it could have occurred. I thought you were over there. I really thought I was in no one's way. Oh, would you mind telling me—a—what I said when I—a—fell?'
"'I'm really sorry!' he stammered. 'It's the weirdest thing how this could have happened. I thought you were over there. I honestly thought I wasn't in anyone's way. Oh, could you please tell me what I said when I fell?'
"Lu was swallowing her pocket-handkerchief to keep from laughing out, and I know I was grinning.
"Lu was biting her pocket-handkerchief to keep from laughing out loud, and I know I was grinning."
"Why, I think you said, 'Good gracious!'" said Ruth, shakily.
"Why, I think you said, 'Oh my gosh!'" said Ruth, nervously.
"'Oh, thank, you!' the man cried, looking ever so much relieved. 'I thought I said 'Good gracious,' but I—I wasn't sure. I'm very glad!' and he shambled off as if he were lamed for life, poor thing, while Ruth and Lu and John and I simply rocked with laughter. And now when anything happens John says 'Good gracious!' in the mildest tone, and then goes on, 'What did I say? Oh, thank you. I thought I said "Good gracious," but I wasn't sure!'" and Nan broke into a chuckle at the mere recollection of the thing. Miss Blake laughed in sympathy, and she and Nan drank their tea and nibbled their wafers in the most amicable fashion possible, talking over, not alone the pleasant experiences, but also that which had threatened to spoil Nan's day, the remembrance of which made her shudder even now.
"'Oh, thank you!' the man exclaimed, looking so relieved. 'I thought I said 'Good gracious,' but I—I wasn't sure. I'm really glad!' and he walked away as if he would be limping for life, poor guy, while Ruth, Lu, John, and I just burst out laughing. And now when anything happens, John says 'Good gracious!' in the calmest tone, and then adds, 'What did I say? Oh, thank you. I thought I said "Good gracious," but I wasn't sure!' and Nan couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of it. Miss Blake laughed along, and she and Nan enjoyed their tea and nibbled on wafers in the friendliest way possible, discussing not just the enjoyable moments, but also the memories of what had threatened to ruin Nan's day, a thought that still made her shudder."
She repeated the incident to Miss Blake, concluding with:
She told Miss Blake about the incident again, ending with:
"I don't care what they think!"
"I don't care what they think!"
"John was right," declared Miss Blake, "and you did what was brave and just. But don't give up trying to win Mary's and Grace's good opinion, Nan. I want you to be respected and loved, and you can be, if you will only be as true to yourself as you are to your friends. You were not satisfied to let Lu and Ruth rest under a false accusation this morning. Neither should you be satisfied to let yourself. Prove to Mary and Grace that you are neither bold nor brazen. Force them to see that you are kind and lovable and courageous."
"John was right," Miss Blake said, "and you did something brave and right. But don’t stop trying to win Mary’s and Grace’s approval, Nan. I want you to be respected and loved, and you can be, if you just stay true to yourself like you do with your friends. You weren't okay with letting Lu and Ruth sit under a false accusation this morning. You shouldn’t be okay with letting yourself either. Show Mary and Grace that you’re not bold or shameless. Make them see that you are kind, lovable, and courageous."
"Oh, dear! How can I?" despaired Nan.
"Oh, no! How can I?" Nan sighed.
"Why, simply by being so," declared Miss Blake.
"Why, just by being so," declared Miss Blake.
Nan fell silent, and then, when Miss Blake was just beginning to wonder what new caprice her guest had fallen victim to, she broke out impetuously:
Nan fell silent, and just when Miss Blake was starting to wonder what new whim had caught her guest's attention, she suddenly spoke up:
"Oh, I say Miss Blake! it is just festive in here. I never saw anything that began to be so pretty."
"Oh, Miss Blake! It’s really festive in here. I’ve never seen anything this pretty."
It was genuine praise, and Miss Blake really flushed with gratification as she replied:
It was sincere praise, and Miss Blake genuinely blushed with pleasure as she responded:
"Thank you, Nan. I think myself it is cozy, and I am very happy if my little nest pleases you. It is a very simple one. I am my own upholsterer and my own decorator, so I have a special reason to value any praise of my small domain. You must come often if you like it here, for I love to play hostess to so appreciative a guest!"
"Thanks, Nan. I think it's cozy, and I'm really happy if my little nest makes you happy too. It's quite simple. I'm my own upholsterer and decorator, so I really appreciate any compliments about my small space. You should come by often if you like it here because I love hosting such an appreciative guest!"
Nan settled back among the cushions with a contented sigh.
Nan settled back among the cushions with a satisfied sigh.
"I wish," she said presently, "I wish the rest of the house looked this way."
"I wish," she said after a moment, "I wish the rest of the house looked like this."
"If you really would like to make some changes, Nan, I will do my best. What there is in the house is good and substantial, and with a little alteration could be made to serve very well."
"If you genuinely want to make some changes, Nan, I will do my best. What’s in the house is good and solid, and with a little adjustment, it could work really well."
Nan looked up eagerly.
Nan looked up excitedly.
"Oh, let's try and fix up the house, for father's coming home. Mr. Turner will give us some money to pay for repairs, I guess—he always does when pipes burst and things. Won't it be jolly to watch father's face when he comes in and sees it all so pretty here? Poor old papa! Mr. Turner says he may come in the fall, and so we'll have all the summer to work and plan in, and then when he's here, won't we have a jubilation, Miss Blake?"
"Oh, let’s try to get the house ready because Dad is coming home. Mr. Turner will probably give us some money for repairs—he always does when the pipes burst and stuff. It’ll be so nice to see Dad’s face when he walks in and sees everything looking so nice! Poor Dad! Mr. Turner says he might come in the fall, so we’ll have all summer to work and plan, and when he’s here, won’t we have a celebration, Miss Blake?"
The governess stooped to pick up a pin, and she did not reply. Then she rose and carried the tea-cups and plates to the washstand, where she began rinsing them carefully.
The governess bent down to pick up a pin, and she didn't respond. Then she got up and took the tea cups and plates to the washstand, where she started rinsing them thoroughly.
"When your father comes home I shall not be here, you know," she said simply; "but you will be very happy together, and I am sure he would enjoy a pretty home!"
"When your dad gets home, I won't be here, just so you know," she said casually; "but you two will be really happy together, and I'm sure he'd love a nice home!"
The radiance in Nan's face faded suddenly. The same dull pain was at her heart that she had felt and shrunk from yesterday. Only now it did not pass away, and all the evening she seemed to be haunted by a peculiar sense of impending misfortune. It was as though she had been reminded of some unhappy occasion that she had tried to forget. Every once in a while after that, when she saw Miss Blake laboriously toiling to renovate some dilapidated piece of furniture, or heard her discussing with Delia the remaining possibilities of this carpet or that pair of curtains, she felt an almost uncontrollable desire to cry out—so sharp was the sudden sting of regret that bit at her conscience—and so keen the pain that pierced her heart.
The glow on Nan's face suddenly vanished. The same dull ache returned to her heart that she had felt and tried to avoid yesterday. But this time it didn’t go away, and all evening she felt haunted by an odd sense of impending trouble. It was as if she had been reminded of some unhappy event she had tried to forget. Every now and then, when she saw Miss Blake working hard to fix up some rundown piece of furniture or heard her talking to Delia about the remaining options for this carpet or that pair of curtains, she felt an almost overwhelming urge to cry out—so sharp was the sudden sting of regret that pricked her conscience—and so intense the pain that pierced her heart.
Miss Blake left her to enjoy her holidays in perfect freedom, but as soon as they were spent the books were brought out again and lessons resumed as strictly as if the discipline of an entire school depended on it.
Miss Blake let her enjoy her vacation without any restrictions, but as soon as it was over, the books came out again, and lessons started up as strictly as if the discipline of an entire school depended on it.
But study had grown to have no terrors for Nan, and she was not at all aware of the thorough course she was being put through, because it was all accomplished in such an unobtrusive fashion. Miss Blake had a system of her own which she put into practice, and the girl followed her unconsciously with an interest that showed how wise an one it was. Latin and mathematics proved the most troublesome of the tasks, and would perhaps have led to some serious differences of opinion if Miss Blake had not confessed herself at the start "rusty" in these particular branches and suggested that they "go over them together."
But studying became no big deal for Nan, and she didn’t even realize how thorough her education was because everything was done so subtly. Miss Blake had her own system that she used, and the girl followed along without even knowing it, showing just how smart it was. Latin and math were the hardest subjects, and they might have caused some serious disagreements if Miss Blake hadn’t admitted from the beginning that she was a little "rusty" in those areas and proposed that they "go over them together."
"I really never was very strong in either of them, and it will do me good to review," she explained.
"I was never very good at either of them, and reviewing will be good for me," she explained.
So, spurred on by the thought of competition, Nan did her best; went through the declensions with a rush, and quite outstripped her fellow-student in the matter of algebraic problems.
So, motivated by the idea of competition, Nan gave it her all; she rushed through the declensions and completely outpaced her classmate in solving algebra problems.
History was always simple enough with Miss Blake to make it seem like the most dramatic of romances, and the girl discovered a fresh interest in the Roman heroes when the scenes of their exploits was so graphically described to her, and when she could build up the ancient city for herself by the aid of Miss Blake's admirable photographs of the present.
History was always straightforward with Miss Blake, making it feel like the most intense love story, and the girl found a new fascination with the Roman heroes when their adventures were described to her in such vivid detail, especially when she could visualize the ancient city for herself using Miss Blake's excellent photographs of the present.
"It seems to me you have done more traveling than any one I ever knew!" exclaimed the girl for the hundredth time one day.
"It seems to me you've traveled more than anyone I've ever known!" the girl exclaimed for the hundredth time one day.
"It has been all I had to do," rejoined the governess wistfully. "For many, many years I have had nothing else. But now all that is changed, and—as it is half-past one, and I hear Delia coming up to announce luncheon, I'll dismiss my class, and declare school over for to-day."
"It’s all I’ve had to do," the governess replied with a hint of sadness. "For so many years, I haven’t done anything else. But now everything has changed, and—since it’s half-past one and I hear Delia coming to announce lunch, I’ll wrap up my class and call it a day for school."
"That is always the way," mused Nan, "whenever I refer to her and try to start her telling about herself she veers off and talks of something else. Queer about her traveling so much, though. I wonder how she came to do it—when she's so poor. She never said straight out she was some one's companion, and I don't think a governess would be taken all over the globe like that."
"That's how it always goes," Nan thought. "Anytime I bring her up and try to get her to share about herself, she just changes the subject. It’s strange how much she travels, though. I wonder how she manages to do it—especially since she’s so broke. She never outright said she was someone’s companion, and I don’t think a governess would get taken all over the world like that."
While the ice lasted Nan had many a good hour upon her skates. Miss Blake too donned hers, and at these times the tables were turned and Nan became the patient teacher, the governess the obedient pupil.
While the ice was still good, Nan had a lot of fun on her skates. Miss Blake also put hers on, and during these moments, the roles reversed: Nan became the patient teacher, and the governess turned into the eager student.
"My ankles are weak," pleaded the pupil in apology for persistent failure.
"My ankles are weak," the student said, apologizing for their ongoing struggles.
"Exercise 'em and they'll grow strong!" declared the intrepid instructor in peremptory tones.
"Work them out and they'll get stronger!" declared the bold instructor in commanding tones.
"It's no use, I can't reverse, Nan!"
"It's no use, I can't back up, Nan!"
"Pooh! 'Never say can't till you've proved that the task is impossible,'" quoted Nan, with a gleam of mischief in her eyes.
"Pooh! 'Never say can't until you've shown that the task is impossible,'" quoted Nan, with a glint of mischief in her eyes.
"You're real mean, so there!" responded Miss Blake in return with such a good imitation of her own querulous tone that the girl burst into a shout of laughter, and the two started off again to make another, perhaps futile attempt, at the difficult feat, until, by the latter part of the winter, Miss Blake acquitted herself so creditably that her teacher regarded her with pardonable pride, and declared,
"You're really mean, so there!" Miss Blake shot back, perfectly mimicking her own whiny tone, causing the girl to burst into laughter. The two set off again to try once more at the challenging task, which might be in vain, but by the end of winter, Miss Blake had done so well that her teacher looked at her with understandable pride and declared,
"There, now! You ought to be 'all primmed up with majestick pride.' You skate as well as anybody now, and you've got rid of every particle of nervousness."
"There, see! You should be full of majestic pride. You skate as well as anyone now, and you've gotten rid of every bit of nervousness."
There were many things beside skating that the governess set herself to accomplish during these months, and Mrs. Newton often took her to task for working so hard.
There were many things besides skating that the governess focused on accomplishing during these months, and Mrs. Newton often criticized her for working so hard.
"You are beginning to look completely fagged. Do let the house go. What do you fret over it for? If Nan wants alterations, why not let Mr. Turner engage competent people to do the work? You have responsibility enough without planning and overseeing all these improvements."
"You’re starting to look really worn out. Just let the house go. Why worry about it? If Nan wants changes, why not let Mr. Turner hire qualified people to handle it? You have enough responsibility without having to plan and manage all these improvements."
But Miss Blake only shook her obstinate little head and continued to discuss ways and means with Mr. Turner and Delia and to direct the workmen, who presently took possession of the house, and made it seem like a Bedlam into which order could never be restored.
But Miss Blake just shook her stubborn little head and kept talking about plans with Mr. Turner and Delia while directing the workmen, who soon took over the house and turned it into a chaotic mess where order seemed impossible to achieve.
"Oh, that's fine!" cried Nan, clapping her hands when she heard of the governess' plans. "That hall closet was no good anyhow. Delia only kept her brooms and dust-cloths there, and it's just the place for a dumb-waiter. But if we turn the library into a dining-room, what are you going to do with the books?"
"Oh, that's great!" shouted Nan, clapping her hands when she heard about the governess's plans. "That hall closet was useless anyway. Delia just kept her brooms and dust cloths there, and it’s the perfect spot for a dumbwaiter. But if we turn the library into a dining room, what are you going to do with the books?"
"The best of them can be put on low shelves along the parlor walls, and we'll take the rest upstairs and make a sort of cozy study of the front room for your father."
"The best of them can be placed on low shelves along the living room walls, and we’ll take the rest upstairs and create a cozy study in the front room for your dad."
"Splendid!" cried Nan.
"Awesome!" exclaimed Nan.
For weeks the place was in a turmoil. Carpets were taken up, some of them never to go down again, curtains were unhung, cleaned and folded carefully away, and when the coast was clear the work of remodelling began in earnest.
For weeks, the place was in chaos. Carpets were pulled up, some never to be put down again, curtains were taken down, cleaned, and carefully folded away, and when things settled down, the serious work of remodeling started.
It seemed to Nan as if it would never come to an end, but little by little things began to assume a more promising aspect, and at length the last lingering workman dragged himself reluctantly away, and then Delia descended upon the place, armed with scrubbing-brush and pail, and waged a mighty war upon every spot of dust or paint anywhere to be found.
It felt to Nan like it would never end, but slowly things started to look more promising, and finally the last lingering worker dragged himself away, and then Delia arrived at the place, ready with a scrubbing brush and a bucket, and fought a fierce battle against every bit of dust or paint she could find.
The parlor had been freshly papered, and its walls no longer frowned gloomily down upon the inoffensive guest, but seemed to cast a faint, rosy smile at the redecorated hall and the new dining-room beyond. Miss Blake stripped away every vestige of tarletan, and let the fine oil paintings display themselves unveiled to the public eye.
The parlor had just been repapered, and its walls no longer cast a gloomy glare at the unsuspecting guest, but rather seemed to offer a slight, rosy smile at the newly decorated hallway and the dining room beyond. Miss Blake removed all traces of the old fabric, allowing the beautiful oil paintings to reveal themselves to everyone.
"We can have the windows screened if we are afraid of flies," she said as she folded away the unsightly shrouds, and Delia echoed, "Why, so we can!" in the promptest assent, and as though it had been her own idea all along.
"We can put screens on the windows if we're worried about flies," she said as she put away the ugly covers, and Delia chimed in, "Of course we can!" with eager agreement, as if it had been her idea from the start.
The draperies were of the simplest sort, but Nan thought them perfection. She fairly danced with delight as she fancied her father's face when he should see his altered home. He would never recognize in this attractive, tasteful room the old, gloomy parlor of former days.
The curtains were really basic, but Nan thought they were perfect. She practically danced with joy as she imagined her father's reaction when he saw their changed home. He would never recognize this lovely, stylish room as the old, dreary parlor from before.
The furniture was drawn out of its martial line and placed here and there in inviting positions by loving, artful hands. Various pieces were banished altogether, and where this chair or that had grown shabby Miss Blake renewed its usefulness by covering it over with some odd material that harmonized nicely with the old-fashioned shape of the frame and the tone of the rest of the room.
The furniture was moved out of its strict arrangement and placed in cozy spots by caring, creative hands. Some pieces were removed entirely, and where this chair or that had become worn, Miss Blake restored its purpose by covering it with some unusual fabric that complemented the vintage shape of the frame and the overall vibe of the room.
A simple fireplace had been set in the blind chimney-piece, in which were placed grandma's graceful andirons, buried so long in the attic that Nan had never seen them, while the old mantel-shelf in the library was torn out altogether and a stately new one put in its stead, and in this too was a place for wood and fire-dogs. The two French windows leading into the glass extension were transformed into doorways, and gave pleasant vistas of a blooming conservatory, into which the south sun shone genially the best part of the day.
A simple fireplace had been installed in the blind chimney, where grandma's elegant andirons sat, having been hidden away in the attic for so long that Nan had never seen them. The old mantel in the library was completely removed and replaced with a stately new one, which also had a spot for wood and fire-dogs. The two French windows leading into the glass extension were turned into doorways, offering lovely views of a blooming conservatory, which the south sun brightened warmly for most of the day.
Louie and Ruth came in on a special visit of inspection when the work was all completed, and it did not detract from Nan's enjoyment to hear them say that they thought the house one of the prettiest they had ever seen.
Louie and Ruth came by for a special inspection visit when the work was all done, and it didn't take away from Nan's enjoyment to hear them say that they thought the house was one of the prettiest they had ever seen.
"It has such a fresh, comfortable look," exclaimed Louie.
"It has such a fresh, cozy vibe," Louie exclaimed.
"As if you lived in every part of it and enjoyed it yourself, and wanted other people to enjoy it with you," added Ruth.
"As if you experienced every part of it and found joy in it yourself, and wanted others to share that joy with you," added Ruth.
"So we do," declared Nan; "that's just what we do. Isn't it, Miss Blake?"
"So we do," said Nan; "that's exactly what we do. Right, Miss Blake?"
And Miss Blake nodded a smiling assent, though she knew quite well that until very lately Nan had never thought about the matter at all. She had taken her home for granted, and it never had occurred to her to try to improve it in any wise. But the governess had had more in mind than the mere indulging of the girl's fancy when she set about rearranging the place. As in most of her characteristic schemes there was "a method in her madness." Nan soon discovered that a dainty home brought its obligations with it.
And Miss Blake nodded with a smile, even though she knew that until recently, Nan hadn’t thought about it at all. She had taken her home for granted and never considered how to make it better. But the governess had more on her mind than just indulging the girl’s whims when she started rearranging things. Like in many of her typical plans, there was "a method to her madness." Nan quickly realized that a pretty home came with responsibilities.
"Do you notice," said Miss Blake one day, "that since the household arrangements have been altered there has been a good deal more work to be done?"
"Have you noticed," Miss Blake said one day, "that since the household arrangements changed, there's been a lot more work to do?"
"Why, I don't know," rejoined Nan; "why should there be?"
"Why, I don't know," replied Nan; "why would there be?"
"Because all these bits of bric-à-brac we have set about must be dusted every day, and because throwing the parlor open, as we do, makes another room to look after. Then the plants in the conservatory should be carefully tended if we want them to live, and Delia has to take double the steps she used to take when we ate in the basement. Really, Nan, as things stand, I feel the work is going to be too hard for her."
"Since all these little trinkets we have collected need to be dusted every day, and because opening up the parlor like we do creates another room to take care of. Plus, the plants in the conservatory need to be properly looked after if we want them to thrive, and Delia has to put in twice the effort she did when we ate in the basement. Honestly, Nan, given the current situation, I think the workload is going to be too much for her."
"Dear me! Whatever are we going to do?" demanded the girl anxiously.
"Wow! What are we going to do?" the girl asked anxiously.
"Simply, she must have help."
"She definitely needs help."
"You mean another servant?"
"You mean another staff member?"
"No, not that. I cannot increase the household expenses in such a way without your father's knowledge and approval. What we have done now is almost more than I dare think of. My only comfort is that it has come out of your money."
"No, not that. I can't raise the household expenses like that without your father's knowledge and approval. What we've done now is almost more than I can even consider. My only comfort is that it has come from your money."
Nan gave a start. "My money!" she exclaimed. "Why, I never knew I had any. Goodness! tell me about it."
Nan jumped, "My money!" she exclaimed. "I never realized I had any. Wow! Tell me more about it."
"There is nothing to tell. Simply, some one who owed your mother a debt and was unable to discharge it during her lifetime, has paid in a certain part of it to Mr. Turner for your benefit—or so he tells me. Both he and I thought it wise to use it in this way. The house is virtually yours, and unless you improve it from time to time it will decrease in value. We both felt that since you wished it, and since it might be looked upon in the light of protecting your property, we might safely lay out the money as we have done without first consulting your father."
"There’s nothing much to say. Basically, someone who owed your mother money and couldn’t pay it back while she was alive has now given part of that debt to Mr. Turner for your sake—or at least that’s what he says. Both he and I thought it was a smart move to use it this way. The house is basically yours, and if you don't make improvements over time, its value will go down. We both believed that since you wanted this and it could be seen as protecting your property, we could confidently use the money as we have without checking with your father first."
"Oh, I'm glad," cried Nan. "I didn't want him to know. It'll be all the bigger surprise to him when he comes home. But what are we going to do about Delia?"
"Oh, I'm so glad," cried Nan. "I didn't want him to find out. It'll be a much bigger surprise for him when he comes home. But what are we going to do about Delia?"
"That is what I want you to tell me," rejoined Miss Blake.
"That's what I want you to tell me," replied Miss Blake.
"I?" queried the girl. "Why, I'm sure I don't know what we can do, unless we hire another girl—and you say father can't afford that."
"I?" asked the girl. "Well, I'm not sure what we can do, unless we hire another girl—and you said dad can't afford that."
"Now, Nan, listen to me," said Miss Blake, seriously, drawing her chair to the girl's, and emphasizing her words by laying her hand upon hers and tapping it gently whenever a point was made. "Let us put the matter quite plainly, and see if we can't come to a conclusion that will both help Delia and save us the trouble of engaging another maid. One pair of hands can't do the work in this house! You admit that?"
"Now, Nan, pay attention," Miss Blake said seriously, pulling her chair closer to the girl’s and emphasizing her words by resting her hand on Nan's and tapping it gently whenever she made a point. "Let's be straightforward about this and see if we can reach a solution that will benefit Delia and spare us the hassle of hiring another maid. One pair of hands can't handle all the work in this house! You agree with that?"
"Yes; I s'pose so," conceded Nan.
"Yeah; I guess so," agreed Nan.
"Well then, obviously, we must secure the aid of another pair—perhaps even two."
"Well then, clearly, we need to secure the help of another pair—maybe even two."
"Uh-huh!" assented the girl cheerfully enough.
"Got it!" the girl agreed cheerfully.
"Not only that, we must secure the aid of another pair, if not two, at no additional expense to your father."
"Not only that, we need to get help from another couple, if not two, without costing your dad any extra."
Here Nan's head began to drop. "That's what floors me," she responded perplexedly. "The rest is easy enough to settle; but how in the world we are going to get people to work for us for nothing—"
Here Nan's head started to drop. "That's what blows my mind," she said, confused. "The rest is easy enough to figure out; but how on earth are we going to get people to work for us for free—"
"What are those things in your lap, Nan?" asked the governess suddenly with a quick smile and an extra tap of the finger on the girl's palm.
"What are those things in your lap, Nan?" the governess asked suddenly with a quick smile and an extra tap of her finger on the girl's palm.
"My hands, of course."
"My hands, obviously."
"Why shouldn't they be the pair we need? I cordially offer the use of mine."
"Why can’t they be the couple we need? I'm happy to offer mine."
"Oh!"
"Oh!"
Nan's face was rather blank. "I hate housework," she added, and her mouth drew down at the corners in a pout of petulance.
Nan's expression was pretty neutral. "I hate housework," she said, her mouth turning down at the corners in a sulky pout.
"I doubt if any one really cares for it. But it must be done, and in this case you and I must consent to do it, at least in part. Now that you have looked the facts in the face, let us say no more about it, after we have settled just what we prefer to do. I have always taken care of my own room. Will you see to yours after this?"
"I don't think anyone truly cares about it. But it needs to be done, and in this situation, you and I have to agree to do it, at least partly. Now that you've faced the facts, let's not dwell on it anymore after we decide what we want to do. I've always taken care of my own room. Will you take care of yours from now on?"
"I s'pose so.
"I guess so."
"Then there is the dusting and the plants."
"Then there's the dusting and the plants."
"I'll take the plants," Nan hastened to declare.
"I'll take the plants," Nan quickly said.
"And the dishes on Mondays and Tuesdays?" continued Miss Blake.
"And what about the dishes on Mondays and Tuesdays?" Miss Blake asked.
There was a pause.
There was a pause.
"If there's one thing I despise it's washing dishes," cried the girl, her voice trembling with irritation.
"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's doing the dishes," the girl exclaimed, her voice shaking with annoyance.
The governess looked down at her own two delicate little hands and seemed to be considering. Then she raised her head quickly, and said, without a shade of resentment in her voice:
The governess glanced at her two delicate little hands and appeared to be deep in thought. Then she quickly lifted her head and said, without a hint of resentment in her voice:
"Very well then, dear, I'll take the dishes. So here is the way it stands: You care for the plants and your own room and I'll look after my room and do the dusting and the dishes."
"Alright then, dear, I'll take care of the dishes. So here's how it works: you take care of the plants and your room, and I'll handle my room, the dusting, and the dishes."
"You'll have more to do than I," hesitated Nan.
"You'll have more to do than I will," Nan said hesitantly.
"No matter; if you do your share well, and don't neglect it, I am willing to stand by my part. Is it a bargain?"
"No worries; if you do your part well and don't slack off, I'm ready to hold up my end. Deal?"
Nan nodded grimly, and they shook hands upon it.
Nan nodded seriously, and they shook hands on it.
CHAPTER XV
A TUG OF WAR
"Is Nan in?" asked Ruth, coming to the house one day in the very teeth of a blinding snowstorm, and putting the question to Delia with a very decided note of excitement in her voice.
"Is Nan home?" asked Ruth, arriving at the house one day in the middle of a blinding snowstorm, and putting the question to Delia with a strong sense of excitement in her voice.
"Yes, she's in; but she's pretty busy," replied Delia, showing the guest into the dining-room, where the bright logs were blazing cheerfully in the fireplace, and where Miss Blake, enveloped in a huge apron, was kneeling before the hearth and polishing its tiles till they shone like gems. She stopped to welcome the guest in her own hearty, informal fashion.
"Yeah, she's here; but she's really busy," Delia said, leading the guest into the dining room, where the bright logs were crackling warmly in the fireplace, and where Miss Blake, wrapped in a big apron, was kneeling in front of the hearth, polishing its tiles until they sparkled like gems. She paused to greet the guest in her warm, casual way.
"O Ruth! come in and sit down. I wondered who could be brave enough to face a storm like this. Why, it is almost a blizzard. Take off your things, dear, and get warmed. You won't mind my going on with my work?"
"O Ruth! Come in and take a seat. I was curious who would be brave enough to brave a storm like this. It’s practically a blizzard. Take off your things, sweetheart, and warm up. You don’t mind if I keep working, do you?"
"Oh, no! not at all. Please don't stop. Thank you. This is as comfortable as can be. But then, one always is comfortable here. I came to see Nan about something important. She's busy?"
"Oh, no! Not at all. Please don’t stop. Thank you. This is as comfortable as can be. But then, one always feels comfortable here. I came to see Nan about something important. Is she busy?"
"Yes, in her room. But if you don't mind waiting a little I think she will soon be able to come down," responded the governess genially.
"Yes, she's in her room. But if you don't mind waiting a bit, I think she'll be able to come down soon," the governess replied cheerfully.
"Then I'll sit here, if you don't mind," and the girl settled herself in an engulfing armchair with a sigh of satisfaction, her eyes following Miss Blake from place to place as she tripped briskly about, energetically wielding her dust cloth and whisk broom and humming contentedly as she worked.
"Then I'll just sit here, if that's okay," the girl said, settling into a big armchair with a satisfied sigh, her eyes tracking Miss Blake as she moved around quickly, energetically using her dust cloth and whisk broom and humming happily as she worked.
"Perhaps you won't approve of the plan that I've got in my mind, and won't let Nan go into it," ventured Ruth, presently.
"Maybe you won't like the plan I have in mind, and you won't let Nan be a part of it," Ruth said tentatively.
"I can't fancy you suggesting anything that I would so seriously disapprove of as that," returned Miss Blake, smiling kindly, but asking for no further enlightenment on the subject than her guest was inclined to give of her own accord.
"I can’t believe you would suggest something I would disapprove of so seriously," Miss Blake replied, smiling kindly, but she wasn’t asking for any more clarification on the topic than her guest was willing to provide on her own.
"Well, then, it's this: If the cold weather lasts we'll have elegant sleighing, with all this snow, and I want to hire a sleigh, just any common old thing will do, and fill it with straw, and all of us girls and boys go off on a screamingly fine sleigh-ride. If it clears we'll have a full moon, and I think it would just be the jolliest thing in the world. Now please say Nan can go. She'll love to I know, and she always makes things snap so," pleaded the girl, fixing her eyes on Miss Blake's face with a peculiar intensity of expression.
"Well, here's the deal: If the cold weather sticks around, we'll have a fantastic time sleighing with all this snow. I want to rent a sleigh—just a regular one will be fine—and fill it with straw, so all of us girls and boys can go on an amazing sleigh ride. If it clears up, we'll have a full moon, and I think it would be the absolute best thing ever. Now please say Nan can come. I know she'll love it, and she always makes everything so much fun," the girl pleaded, staring intently at Miss Blake's face.
The governess hesitated.
The tutor hesitated.
"Oh, please say she can," reiterated Ruth.
"Oh, please say she can," Ruth said again.
"My dear Ruth, I can't say anything until I know more of the matter. You say you girls and boys are to go. What girls and boys do you mean?"
"My dear Ruth, I can't say anything until I know more about the situation. You mention that you girls and boys are going. Which girls and boys are you talking about?"
"Why, Lu and Grace and Mary and the Buckstone girls, of course; and John Gardiner and Harley Morris and Everett Webster, and oh! all those fellows—the ones in our set; you've met them all."
"Well, Lu, Grace, Mary, and the Buckstone girls, of course; and John Gardiner, Harley Morris, Everett Webster, and oh! all those guys—the ones in our group; you've met them all."
"And is there to be no grown woman in the party—no chaperone?" suggested Miss Blake.
"And will there be no adult woman at the party—no chaperone?" suggested Miss Blake.
Ruth looked down and began picking a thread from the thumb of her glove.
Ruth looked down and started picking at a thread on the thumb of her glove.
"Oh, of course; mamma wouldn't let me go unless there was a chaperone," she replied after a moment, but tamely, with the ring all faded out of her voice.
"Oh, for sure; mom wouldn't let me go unless there was a chaperone," she replied after a moment, but softly, with the spark all gone from her voice.
"No, I am sure she would not," the governess remarked dryly.
"No, I'm sure she wouldn't," the governess said flatly.
"I thought of you at once," Ruth began again with an upward glance that however did not meet Miss Blake's eye. "But then we all thought that it would be too much to ask of you—to ride all those miles with a noisy crowd in the cold and night, and—so on, and so—so—just before I came here I ran into Mrs. Cole and asked her to chaperone us, and she said she would."
"I thought of you right away," Ruth started again, looking up but not making eye contact with Miss Blake. "But we all figured it would be too much to ask you—to ride all those miles with a loud crowd in the cold and at night, and—well, just before I got here, I bumped into Mrs. Cole and asked her to chaperone us, and she said yes."
The governess laid her duster on a chair, and unbuttoned her apron very deliberately.
The governess placed her duster on a chair and slowly unbuttoned her apron.
"Mrs. Cole," she repeated half-aloud, as if speaking to herself, and her tone had something in it that seemed to call for some sort of justification from Ruth.
"Mrs. Cole," she said again quietly, almost to herself, and her tone had an edge that seemed to demand some kind of explanation from Ruth.
"You know she's just been married, and she's as full of fun as she can be. And she likes a good time immensely, and loves to be with us girls, and it won't bore her a bit to go, and it's ever so much better to have her than—than—some one who wouldn't enjoy it, you know."
"You know she's just gotten married, and she's having a blast. She really loves having a good time and enjoys hanging out with us girls, and she won't be bored at all going, and it's definitely better to have her than—than—someone who wouldn't enjoy it, you know."
"Is Mr. Cole to be of the party?" Miss Blake inquired, still with that odd inflection.
"Is Mr. Cole going to join us?" Miss Blake asked, still with that strange tone.
"Why, no," responded Ruth, twisting her handkerchief into a hard knot. "There won't be room for him. But Mrs. Cole said it didn't matter in the least. She says she often goes off and leaves him, and he has just as nice a time sitting home with his cigar and a book or something."
"Why, no," replied Ruth, twisting her handkerchief into a tight knot. "There won't be enough space for him. But Mrs. Cole said it doesn’t matter at all. She says she often leaves him behind, and he enjoys sitting at home with his cigar and a book or something."
"They have been married, I think, three months," Miss Blake commented half to herself.
"They’ve been married, I think, for three months," Miss Blake commented, mostly to herself.
"Yes, about," replied Ruth. "And Mrs. Cole is just as gay and jolly as she ever was. You may think that it isn't very dignified for a married woman to—"
"Yeah, about that," replied Ruth. "And Mrs. Cole is just as cheerful and lively as she’s always been. You might think it’s not very dignified for a married woman to—"
"Oh! my dear Ruth," interrupted the governess hastily, "I am not disparaging Mrs. Cole, and I have no right to express an opinion concerning her conduct, but I think—yes, I am quite sure that I prefer Nan not to join your party."
"Oh! my dear Ruth," the governess quickly interrupted, "I'm not criticizing Mrs. Cole, and I don't have the place to comment on her behavior, but I think—yes, I’m pretty sure that I’d rather Nan not join your group."
Ruth jumped from her chair with a cry of protest: "O Miss Blake! Don't say that! Think of it, we're going to drive down as far as Howe's and have a supper and it will be such fun. We want Nan awfully. She's just the best company in the world, and if she doesn't go it will be—well, it will be too bad. Do please say she may."
Ruth jumped up from her chair, exclaiming, "Oh, Miss Blake! Please don’t say that! Just think about it, we’re going to drive down as far as Howe's for dinner and it’s going to be such a blast. We really want Nan to come. She’s the best company ever, and if she can’t make it, well, that would be—just too bad. Please say she can go."
Miss Blake shook her head somewhat sadly. "I can't say so, Ruth. There are special reasons why Nan ought not to go—reasons that I can only explain to her, but which I am sure she will understand. You other girls have your mothers, but Nan has none, and that means that she has no protector, now that her father is absent, unless I can stand in such a relation to her. Believe me, I do not voluntarily deny Nan any pleasure, but there are some instances in which I must."
Miss Blake shook her head a bit sadly. "I can't say that, Ruth. There are specific reasons why Nan shouldn't go—reasons that I can only explain to her, but I'm sure she'll understand. You other girls have your mothers, but Nan doesn’t have one, and that means she has no protector now that her father is gone, unless I can take on that role. Believe me, I’m not trying to deny Nan any fun, but there are times when I have to."
"But it's going to be perfectly proper," Ruth insisted, almost in tears. "You don't think my mother would let me go if it wasn't going to be perfectly proper, do you, Miss Blake?"
"But it's going to be totally fine," Ruth insisted, almost in tears. "You don't think my mom would let me go if it wasn't going to be totally fine, do you, Miss Blake?"
The governess stood before the fire and rested her arm on the high mantel-shelf, tapping the fender lightly with the toe of her slipper. At Ruth's question she turned her head quickly from the flames toward the girl with a compassionate smile.
The governess stood in front of the fire, resting her arm on the high mantel, lightly tapping the fender with the toe of her slipper. At Ruth's question, she quickly turned her head from the flames toward the girl with a compassionate smile.
"No," she hastened to declare, "I am sure your mother would not let you go to anything that she knew to be in any respect not altogether as it should be."
"No," she quickly replied, "I'm sure your mom wouldn't let you go to anything she knew wasn't completely right."
There was just the shade of an emphasis on the word knew—just the merest breath of a pause before it. Miss Blake gazed frankly and fearlessly into the girl's eyes as she spoke, and Ruth's lids dropped suddenly as if she had been trying to look at the sun and it had blinded her.
There was just a hint of emphasis on the word "knew"—just the slightest pause before it. Miss Blake looked directly and confidently into the girl's eyes as she spoke, and Ruth's eyelids closed suddenly as if she had been staring at the sun and it had blinded her.
There was a pause and in it they could distinctly hear Nan's feet going to and fro on the floor above their heads, and her sharp young voice shouting the chorus of some tuneless popular air, in her own perfectly cheerful, earless fashion.
There was a pause, and in it they could clearly hear Nan's footsteps moving back and forth on the floor above them, along with her loud young voice shouting the chorus of some catchy but tuneless song in her own totally cheerful, off-key way.
"Oh, Miss Blake, please!" quavered Ruth.
"Oh, Miss Blake, please!" Ruth said nervously.
If she had known the governess as well as Nan did she would have known that it was worse than useless to "tease." As it was, she was aware of some force here that did not appear in her own easy-going mother, and unconsciously she bowed to it—but even as she did so she gave a last wail of entreaty from pure force of habit.
If she had understood the governess like Nan did, she would have realized it was pointless to "tease." As it was, she sensed a certain authority here that wasn’t present in her laid-back mother, and without even thinking about it, she acknowledged it—but even as she did, she let out one last desperate plea out of sheer habit.
"Please, Miss Blake!"
"Please, Ms. Blake!"
"No, Ruth. I can't consent to Nan's joining you. If she goes, it will be in direct defiance of my authority and against my wish and approval. But when she hears what I have to say I do not think she will go."
"No, Ruth. I can't agree to Nan's joining you. If she goes, it will be a direct challenge to my authority and against my wishes. But when she hears what I have to say, I don't think she will go."
"Don't think who will go?" demanded an eager voice, as Nan came pelting in at the door, having flung down stairs in such a whirl that they had scarcely realized she had started before she was here.
"Don't think about who will go?" demanded an eager voice as Nan rushed in through the door, having dashed down the stairs in such a whirlwind that they barely registered she had left before she showed up.
"Heyo, Ruth! When did you come? You're a dear girl to venture out a day like this! Who'll go where, 'you don't think,' Miss Blake?"
"Hey, Ruth! When did you arrive? You're so brave to go out on a day like this! Who's going where, you don't think, Miss Blake?"
Ruth rose and began dragging on her gloves. "Hello," she said, blankly, in return for the other's greeting.
Ruth stood up and started putting on her gloves. "Hi," she said, without really thinking, as a response to the other person's greeting.
"Who'll go? Who'll go?" insisted Nan, tapping the floor with her foot to emphasize her impatience.
"Who’s going? Who’s going?" insisted Nan, tapping her foot on the floor to show how impatient she was.
Ruth looked at Miss Blake a little sullenly, and said nothing. Miss Blake looked at Nan.
Ruth glanced at Miss Blake with a bit of a sulk and stayed silent. Miss Blake turned to Nan.
"You," she returned simply. "I was just saying to Ruth that I am sure you would not go anywhere against my plainly expressed wish."
"You," she replied easily. "I was just telling Ruth that I'm sure you wouldn't go anywhere against my clearly stated wish."
The girl threw back her head with an unrestrained laugh.
The girl tilted her head back and laughed freely.
"Oh, now, you're bragging!" she cried breezily. "Don't count too much on me. I'm a queer creature. I don't know what I'd do if I were hard put!"
"Oh, come on, you're just showing off!" she said playfully. "Don't rely too much on me. I'm a weird one. I have no idea what I would do if I was really in a tough spot!"
Ruth glanced at Miss Blake again as she buttoned her coat. The governess' face was quite placid, but there was an expression in her eyes that was quite new to the girl and that she did not care to face.
Ruth looked at Miss Blake again as she fastened her coat. The governess's face was calm, but there was a look in her eyes that was unfamiliar to the girl and that she didn’t want to confront.
"The fact of the matter is, Nan," Miss Blake explained, "Ruth has come here to invite you to join a sleighing party to be given—what night did you say, Ruth?"
"The truth is, Nan," Miss Blake said, "Ruth has come here to invite you to a sleighing party—what night did you say it was, Ruth?"
"The first clear one," responded the girl still sullenly.
"The first clear one," the girl replied, still sulking.
"The first clear night," resumed Miss Blake. "All your friends are going, and it would give me as much pleasure to have you join them as it would you to do so, but—under the circumstances it is impossible to do anything save—" she paused an instant, and Nan broke in impatiently:
"The first clear night," continued Miss Blake. "All your friends are going, and it would make me just as happy to have you join them as it would for you to do so, but—given the situation it’s impossible to do anything except—" she paused for a moment, and Nan interrupted impatiently:
"Under what circumstances? There aren't any circumstances! A sleighing party! Why, it'll be just magnificent and gorgeous! Of course I'll go. Hurrah! Ruth, you're a dear to ask me! Go? Well, I should think so!"
"Under what circumstances? There aren't any! A sledding party! It'll be just amazing and beautiful! Of course, I'll go. Hooray! Ruth, you're so sweet for inviting me! Go? Absolutely!"
Ruth fastened her fur boa about her neck, and murmured something almost inaudible about having to hurry home.
Ruth wrapped her fur boa around her neck and whispered something barely audible about needing to rush home.
"Well, you can count on me," cried Nan, flinging her arm about her friend's waist and escorting her to the door. "Good-bye! Thanks heaps for asking me! Las' tag!"
"Well, you can count on me," shouted Nan, wrapping her arm around her friend's waist and walking her to the door. "Goodbye! Thanks so much for inviting me! Last tag!"
The front door slammed, and the girl came back to the library with her cheeks aglow and her eyes flashing. "What fun!" she exclaimed. "I know what we'll do! We'll go down to Howe's and have a supper and a jolly good time generally. Mary Brewster and Grace and Ruth had it all planned out for the next good snow, and I'd forgotten. O goody!"
The front door slammed, and the girl returned to the library with her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling. "What fun!" she exclaimed. "I know what we should do! Let's go to Howe's for dinner and have a great time overall. Mary Brewster, Grace, and Ruth had it all planned for the next big snow, and I totally forgot. Oh, yay!"
Miss Blake was standing as they had left her, by the fire, with her foot upon the fender and her hand upon the high mantel-shelf. Now she took them both down and turned to Nan, saying in a low, controlled voice:
Miss Blake was standing just like they had left her, by the fire, with her foot on the fender and her hand on the high mantel. Now she took both down and turned to Nan, speaking in a soft, controlled voice:
"Nan, I want to talk to you about this party. And you must hear me out, even if some of the things I am about to say do not please you." She kept her eyes on the girl's face as she spoke, and saw its expression change quickly from one of eager anticipation to one of growing apprehension and then again to one of dogged opposition. So vivid were these changes that she almost lost the necessary courage to go on, for she read in them that her task promised to be no easy one.
"Nan, I need to talk to you about this party. You have to listen to me, even if some of what I’m going to say doesn't sit well with you." She focused on the girl’s face as she spoke and watched its expression shift rapidly from eager anticipation to rising anxiety and then to stubborn resistance. The intensity of these changes nearly made her lose the bravery to continue, as she realized that her task was going to be quite challenging.
"Well?" said Nan, tapping her foot impatiently, as Miss Blake did not at once continue.
"Well?" Nan said, tapping her foot impatiently as Miss Blake didn’t continue right away.
"Please sit down here, and I will try to say what I have to say as quickly as possible," resumed the governess, drawing a long breath.
"Please take a seat here, and I’ll do my best to say what I need to say as quickly as I can," the governess continued, taking a deep breath.
Nan obeyed, but with a decidedly impatient fling of herself upon the low ottoman Miss Blake had indicated.
Nan complied, but she did so with a noticeably impatient throw of herself onto the low ottoman that Miss Blake had pointed out.
"As I said to Ruth," the low voice commenced, "under almost any other circumstances it would give me the greatest pleasure to know that you were to enjoy this sleighing party with the others. If Mrs. Andrews or Mrs. Hawes were going it would settle the question at once."
"As I told Ruth," the soft voice began, "under almost any other circumstances, I would be really happy to know that you were going to enjoy this sleighing party with everyone else. If Mrs. Andrews or Mrs. Hawes were going, it would make the decision much easier."
"Or if you were," suggested Nan, with a curl other lip.
"Or if you were," suggested Nan, with a curl of her lip.
Miss Blake's face paled, and for an instant she regarded Nan in a sort of surprised, hurt silence. Then she replied, steadily: "Yes, or if I were. But as it is Mrs. Cole, the case is entirely altered. Mrs. Cole is scarcely more than a girl herself, and—I say this to you, Nan, simply because I must—she has never been, to my idea, a lady-like young woman. She has always been flippant and frivolous and boisterous; anything but a good companion for a number of impulsive, impressionable girls like yourself."
Miss Blake's face went pale, and for a moment she looked at Nan in shocked, hurt silence. Then she replied, firmly: "Yes, or if I were. But as it stands with Mrs. Cole, the situation is completely different. Mrs. Cole is barely more than a girl herself, and—I’m telling you this, Nan, because I have to—she has never struck me as a lady-like young woman. She's always been carefree, silly, and loud; definitely not a suitable companion for a group of impulsive, impressionable girls like you."
"Oh, pshaw!" interrupted Nan, impatiently. "There's nothing against her at all. She's lots of fun, and a body'd be a great goose that tried to suit all the old frumps in town. She said so herself, and she's married and she knows."
"Oh, come on!" interrupted Nan, impatiently. "There’s nothing wrong with her at all. She’s a lot of fun, and anyone would be a total fool to try to please all the boring people in town. She said so herself, and she's married, so she knows."
A ghost of a smile flitted across Miss Blake's face. Nan's emphasis reflected so directly on her own condition of unauthoritative spinsterhood.
A hint of a smile briefly appeared on Miss Blake's face. Nan's emphasis really highlighted her own situation of being an unmarried woman without authority.
"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone, one who will be no more of a restraint than Mrs. Cole, I am afraid the party will prove a rather uproarious one. And I cannot help thinking that this is precisely the reason Mrs. Cole has been asked to attend you; that you might not be under any restraint. I don't for a moment think any of you girls would deliberately take advantage of your liberty, but you are full of animal spirits, and when you get in full swing it is a little hard, perhaps harder than you know, to rein yourselves in. I am afraid Ruth has not been quite candid with her mother. At all events, I am sure that if Mrs. Andrews realized the circumstances she would think twice before letting Ruth go. It is not only that I think Mrs. Cole will not prove a restraint; I am afraid she will intentionally lead you on. And if she does, I am afraid your sleigh-ride will be decidedly unconventional."
"If you and the other girls don’t have a more careful chaperone, one who will be any more of a control than Mrs. Cole, I’m afraid the party will end up being quite wild. And I can’t help but think that this is exactly why Mrs. Cole has been asked to be with you; so that you wouldn’t be held back. I don’t believe for a second that any of you girls would intentionally misuse your freedom, but you’re full of energy, and when you get going, it’s a bit tough, maybe tougher than you realize, to hold yourselves back. I’m afraid Ruth hasn’t been completely honest with her mother. In any case, I’m sure that if Mrs. Andrews understood the situation, she would reconsider letting Ruth go. It’s not just that I think Mrs. Cole won’t hold you back; I’m worried she will actually encourage you. And if she does, I fear your sleigh ride will be quite unorthodox."
"I hope we'll have a splendid time," announced Nan, setting her jaws with a snap of her teeth.
"I hope we have an awesome time," said Nan, clenching her teeth.
But the governess went on as if she had neither seen nor heard.
But the governess continued on as if she hadn’t seen or heard anything.
"It is very important, Nan, that you especially should not be identified with anything of the sort. It might injure you in such a way that the harm could never be repaired." She paused and Nan straightened herself with a jerk.
"It’s really important, Nan, that you specifically should not be associated with anything like that. It could hurt you in a way that could never be fixed." She paused, and Nan straightened herself up abruptly.
"I'd like to know why it's more important for me than for the other girls? If their mothers think it's good enough for them I guess it's good enough for me, and if they can be trusted I guess I can."
"I want to know why it matters more for me than for the other girls? If their moms think it's fine for them, then I suppose it's fine for me too, and if they can be trusted, I guess I can."
Miss Blake hesitated, but only for a moment. Then she went on steadily and firmly, but without the least suggestion of sternness in her voice or manner.
Miss Blake paused, but just for a moment. Then she continued steadily and firmly, without the slightest hint of sternness in her voice or demeanor.
"The reason is simply this: You have not had the advantages the other girls have had. You have had no mother; no careful, loving training from the first, and—excuse me, dear—your behavior has shown it. How could it be expected not to do so? People have criticized you, and their criticisms have been severe, unjust even. Lately you have set yourself right with most of your neighbors, but it has been hard work, and it has been only begun. It will still be hard work to keep their good opinion. If you want to hold a place in their esteem you must earn it and keep on earning it. The other girls might do with perfect safety what you could not dream of doing, because in them it would be looked on merely as a single slip; with you it would be backsliding. Do you understand me, Nan?"
"The reason is simple: You haven't had the same opportunities as the other girls. You’ve grown up without a mother and without the careful, loving guidance from the beginning, and—excuse me, dear—your actions have shown it. How could it be any different? People have judged you, and their critiques have been harsh, even unfair. Recently, you’ve made amends with most of your neighbors, but it’s been tough, and you’ve only just started. It will still be challenging to maintain their good opinion. If you want to be respected, you need to earn that respect and keep earning it. The other girls can get away with things you couldn't even think about, because for them, it would just be seen as a minor mistake; for you, it would feel like a setback. Do you get what I’m saying, Nan?"
There was no reply, but the girl's bent head was answer enough. Miss Blake passed her hand tenderly over the roughened hair, and for a long time there was silence between them. Nan was thinking, and Miss Blake was content to let her think.
There was no reply, but the girl's lowered head said it all. Miss Blake gently ran her fingers through the tangled hair, and for a long time, they sat in silence. Nan was deep in thought, and Miss Blake was happy to let her be.
The tall clock in the corner tapped out the minutes with slow, even ticks. The fire burned steadily on the hearth, and the logs settled as they burned. Outside the high wind raced madly around bleak street corners, carrying the snow before it in white, blinding clouds. The air was so full of the swirling, eddying flakes that it dimmed the light and made evening seem to have settled down long before its usual time. Every now and then there came to them from the conservatory a faint, faint breath from a blossoming daphne, as though the delicate thing were breathing out sweet gratitude for its shelter from the storm.
The tall clock in the corner ticked softly and steadily. The fire burned evenly in the hearth, and the logs shifted as they burned. Outside, the fierce wind whipped around desolate street corners, pushing the snow ahead in blinding white clouds. The air was so filled with swirling flakes that it dimmed the light, making evening feel like it had arrived much earlier than usual. Occasionally, they could hear a faint scent drifting from the conservatory, a gentle breath from a blooming daphne, as if the delicate flower was expressing sweet gratitude for being sheltered from the storm.
Nan could not help responding to the quieting influence of it all. It was very, very different from the place as it used to be, and she felt the difference and the suggestiveness of it more now than she had ever done before.
Nan couldn't help but feel the calming effect of everything around her. It was so different from how it used to be, and she sensed that difference and its implications more now than she ever had before.
Suppose the change in herself was as marked as this? Every one seemed to like her nowadays. They said she was altered and improved, and if they said so, she supposed it must be true. What, then, if she were to turn about and be her old self again?
Suppose the change in her was as noticeable as this? Everyone seemed to like her these days. They said she was different and better, and if they believed that, she figured it must be true. So, what if she decided to go back to being her old self again?
What if Miss Blake were to give the house its old aspect again? Ugh! It was disheartening even to think of such a thing. But granting that she were to let things go back, she couldn't undo some of the improvements she had made? So it seemed reasonable to Nan that even if she let herself be as she had been for awhile, just to rest from the constant trying to be good, for a day or so, the really important changes must still remain; like the dumbwaiter and the wall paper and the frescoes and the woodwork. And, pshaw! Just going to this sleigh-ride wasn't going to prove that she was backsliding, anyway! Miss Blake was too particular—making an awful fuss over nothing. Mrs. Cole was all right enough. Lots of nice people knew her, and the girls always liked to have her around, she was so gay and jolly. And now that she was married, it was fun to have her chaperone them, for she never interfered, nor was wet-blankety, like mothers and people, no matter what was going on. In fact, she often urged them on and suggested things the girls themselves would never have thought of, so that wherever she was the fun promised to run high. It was too bad of Miss Blake to have put the case as she had. It simply meant that if Nan went she deliberately disobeyed her wish and defied her authority.
What if Miss Blake decided to make the house look the way it used to? Ugh! Just the thought of it was discouraging. But even if she allowed things to reverse, she couldn't undo some of the upgrades she made, right? So, Nan figured that even if she took a break from trying to be good for a day or so, the real important changes would still be there; like the dumbwaiter, the wallpaper, the frescoes, and the woodwork. And, come on! Going to this sleigh ride wasn’t going to prove that she was slipping, anyway! Miss Blake was too picky—making a big deal out of nothing. Mrs. Cole was just fine. Plenty of nice people knew her, and the girls always enjoyed having her around because she was so fun and cheerful. Now that she was married, it was even better to have her as a chaperone since she never interfered or was a downer like moms and others, no matter what was happening. In fact, she often encouraged them and suggested things that the girls wouldn’t have thought of, which made the fun even better wherever she was. It was unfair for Miss Blake to present the situation the way she did. It basically meant that if Nan went, she would be openly disobeying her wish and challenging her authority.
For the first time the girl seemed to get a glimpse of the tactful, tender way in which she had been guided. She saw that this was the first instance in which she had been put under definite restraint. Always before Miss Blake had left her seemingly to decide for herself, and she had never been aware of the influence that led her in the right direction.
For the first time, the girl realized how thoughtfully and gently she had been guided. She recognized that this was the first time she had been placed under clear restrictions. In the past, Miss Blake had allowed her to make her own decisions, and she had never recognized the influence that steered her in the right direction.
But this was different. This was discipline, and she rose against it instantly.
But this was different. This was discipline, and she immediately pushed back against it.
If she did not go on the sleigh-ride she would only be obeying Miss Blake's injunction. There was no credit or virtue in that. There might be some satisfaction in denying one's self a pleasure if one felt one were independent, and that what one did was self-abnegating and laudable. But if one acted under compulsion—! Pooh! Nan guessed Miss Blake thought she was a mere child to be ordered about like that.
If she didn't go on the sleigh ride, she'd just be following Miss Blake's orders. There was no credit or virtue in that. It might feel satisfying to deny oneself a pleasure if one felt independent, and that their decision was self-sacrificing and commendable. But if someone acted out of coercion—! Ugh! Nan figured Miss Blake saw her as just a child to be bossed around like that.
And yet, with all this, there was a strange unfamiliar tugging at her heart to confess herself willing to obey. She actually had to make an effort to keep from doing so. She scarcely knew how it happened, but all at once she became conscious that she had shaken herself together and that she was saying, in no very gracious voice to be sure, but still that she was saying, "Well, if you will have it your own way, you will I suppose. There! I promise you I won't go on the sleigh-ride. Now, does that satisfy you?"
And yet, despite all this, she felt an unfamiliar pull in her heart to admit she was willing to obey. She had to work hard to stop herself from doing it. She barely realized how it happened, but suddenly she became aware that she had collected herself and was saying, in a tone that wasn't very polite, but still she was saying, "Well, if you want it your way, I guess you will. There! I promise I won't go on the sleigh ride. Now, does that satisfy you?"
Miss Blake took her hand from Nan's hair so hastily that the girl lifted her head in astonishment. But the governess had neither the air of being angry nor of being wounded as she feared. She simply rose and said in quite a matter-of-fact tone as she turned toward the door:
Miss Blake pulled her hand away from Nan's hair so quickly that the girl looked up in surprise. But the governess didn't seem angry or hurt like she had feared. She just got up and said in a straightforward tone as she turned toward the door:
"I demanded no promise of you, Nan, and I give you back your word. Moreover, I entirely recall my injunction. Do as you please. If you decide to go you will neither be disobeying my order nor breaking your own promise. You are quite free and untrammeled, my dear."
"I didn’t ask you for any promises, Nan, and I return your word to you. Furthermore, I completely remember my request. Do whatever you want. If you choose to leave, you won’t be disobeying my order or breaking your promise. You are truly free and unrestrained, my dear."
Nan sprang to her feet.
Nan jumped to her feet.
"Huh!" she cried in an exasperated manner, "I know what you mean! You mean I am quite free to go and—take the consequences. That's what you mean."
"Huh!" she exclaimed in an exasperated tone, "I get what you're saying! You mean I can just go and—deal with the consequences. That's what you mean."
Miss Blake paused but made no reply.
Miss Blake paused but didn’t say anything.
"But suppose there aren't any consequences?" pursued Nan, biting her lip and scowling darkly from between her knitted brows.
"But what if there aren't any consequences?" Nan continued, biting her lip and frowning deeply from between her knitted brows.
Miss Blake turned her head.
Miss Blake looked away.
"There are always consequences," she said over her shoulder in a voice that was very low and serious.
"There are always consequences," she said quietly, glancing back with a serious tone.
CHAPTER XVI
THE SLEIGH-RIDE
The storm lasted for three days and then came a term of perfect weather. Under foot the snow was packed hard and tight into a compact mass over a bed of ice, and overhead the sun shone out from a cloudless sky, while the air was so keen that it kept the mercury very close to the zero mark even at midday.
The storm lasted for three days, and then we had a stretch of perfect weather. The snow was packed tightly into a solid mass over a layer of ice, and the sun was shining from a clear sky above. The air was so crisp that it kept the mercury right around zero, even at midday.
"How is this for high?" demanded Ruth exultantly, as she and Nan met toward the end of the week, the first time they had seen each other since that stormy day when the subject of the sleigh-ride had first been broached to Miss Blake.
"How's this for high?" Ruth asked excitedly as she and Nan met towards the end of the week, the first time they had seen each other since that stormy day when they first brought up the sleigh ride to Miss Blake.
"The weather, you mean? Oh, perfectly fine!" responded Nan.
"The weather, you mean? Oh, it's great!" replied Nan.
Ruth drew a step nearer to her.
Ruth took a step closer to her.
"It's all arranged for to-night. Not a soul has refused; every one we've asked is going, and the sleigh is a regular old ark. We've got everything our own way. Mike, from the stables, is as solid as a brick wall. The horses are perfectly safe and we're going to have footstoves to keep our toes warm. Mrs. Cole has telephoned down to Howe's to have our supper ready, and we're going to have a simply stunning time."
"Everything is set for tonight. No one has declined; everyone we've invited is coming, and the sleigh is like a cozy old ship. We've got everything just how we want it. Mike from the stables is as dependable as ever. The horses are completely safe, and we're getting foot warmers to keep our feet toasty. Mrs. Cole called Howe's to make sure our dinner is ready, and we're going to have an amazing time."
Nan tried to smile, but failed, and Ruth was too full of her own affairs to notice.
Nan tried to smile, but couldn't, and Ruth was too caught up in her own issues to notice.
"We're going to start at eight sharp. First we thought we'd pick up the party as we went along, but Mrs. Cole said it would waste too much time, so we're all going to meet at her house. I've so much on my mind my head's spinning. Be sure you're on hand at eight. We're not going to wait for any one."
"We're starting at eight on the dot. At first, we thought we’d collect everyone as we went, but Mrs. Cole said that would take too long, so we’re all meeting at her place. I have so much on my mind it's overwhelming. Make sure you're there by eight. We won’t wait for anyone."
"O Ruth!" faltered Nan, flinging out a detaining hand as the girl was about to go. "I'm not going. Didn't I tell you?"
"O Ruth!" Nan exclaimed, reaching out a hand to stop the girl as she was about to leave. "I'm not going. Didn't I tell you?"
Ruth stopped short and gazed at her in bewilderment.
Ruth stopped abruptly and stared at her in confusion.
"Not going! What on earth do you mean?"
"Not going! What do you mean by that?"
"I can't go; that's all," stammered Nan, flushing hotly at the seeming weakness of the confession.
"I can't go; that's it," stammered Nan, blushing at the apparent weakness of her confession.
Ruth stared at her blankly.
Ruth stared at her in confusion.
"Well, I like that!" she enunciated at length.
"Well, I really like that!" she said clearly.
"Why, I told you, didn't I?" asked Nan.
"Why, I told you, didn't I?" asked Nan.
"Told me what? That you weren't going? Well, I should say not. Miss Blake said you couldn't but you said flat down you would, and, of course, I believed you. Don't you remember the last words you said as I went away that day were that I could count on you? And so, of course, I counted."
"Told me what? That you weren't going? Well, I can't believe that. Miss Blake said you couldn’t, but you clearly said you would, and I believed you. Don’t you remember the last thing you said as I left that day? You told me I could count on you. So naturally, I counted on you."
Nan stood and regarded the snow at her feet in silence.
Nan stood and looked at the snow at her feet in silence.
"It's right-down mean to back out at the last minute when the party's all made up and the couples all arranged and you've given your word. We've been awfully careful whom we've asked, because we only wanted a certain kind—not alone a certain number. Of course, we could get lots of girls to take your place and jump at the chance; but we prefer you, and you'd given your promise."
"It's really unfair to cancel at the last minute when everything for the party is all set, the couples are matched up, and you said you would come. We've been really careful about who we invited because we wanted a specific type of person—not just a certain number. Sure, we could find plenty of girls to take your spot and would be excited to do so; but we want you, and you made a promise."
Nan ground the snow under her foot until it squeaked.
Nan pressed the snow down with her foot until it squeaked.
"I thought you were sick, or something, when you didn't come around," went on Ruth, sternly. "I never imagined for a minute it was because you meant to flunk and leave us in the lurch like this. If I'd thought that I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble I did to save you a place next to John Gardiner when Mary Brewster was fighting tooth and nail to get it."
"I thought you were sick or something when you didn't show up," Ruth said firmly. "I never imagined for a second it was because you were planning to flunk and ditch us like this. If I had thought that, I wouldn't have gone through all the effort I did to save you a spot next to John Gardiner when Mary Brewster was fighting hard to get it."
The pinched snow squeaked again under Nan's grinding heel, this time louder than before.
The packed snow squeaked again under Nan's grinding heel, this time louder than before.
"It's all nonsense, Miss Blake's not wanting you to go," pursued Ruth. "Everything is as proper as pie, and if the boys get to carrying on a little too much Mrs. Cole will settle them in no time. She's real determined when she makes up her mind. What under the sun does Miss Blake think we are going to do? But that's no matter now. You gave me your word, and you've no right to go back on it. Besides, it'll set us all topsy-turvey with our accounts, for if you don't go of course you won't turn in your share of the tax, and we couldn't ask any one at the last minute just to come as a make-shift and expect her to pay for the privilege. The end of it will be the rest of us will have to make it up, and if you think that's fair I don't!"
"It's all nonsense, Miss Blake doesn't want you to go," Ruth continued. "Everything is completely fine, and if the boys start acting up too much, Mrs. Cole will handle them in no time. She’s really determined once she sets her mind to something. What in the world does Miss Blake think we're going to do? But that doesn't matter now. You gave me your word, and you can't go back on it. Besides, it'll throw everything off balance with our accounts because if you don't go, you won't contribute your part of the tax, and we can't ask someone to fill in at the last minute and expect her to pay for the privilege. In the end, the rest of us will have to cover it, and if you think that's fair, I don't!"
"I'll gladly pay my dues," returned Nan, more meekly than Ruth had ever heard her speak. "You can ask any one you choose as my substitute, and say anything you please to explain my not going, and I'll stand by you."
"I'll gladly pay my dues," Nan replied, more humbly than Ruth had ever heard her speak. "You can pick anyone you want as my substitute, and say whatever you need to explain why I'm not going, and I'll back you up."
This began to sound serious, and Ruth felt it was time to clinch her argument.
This was starting to sound serious, and Ruth knew it was time to make her point.
"If you go out Louie Hawes will, too. Her mother said she'd let Lu go if Miss Blake would let you, but that if Miss Blake objected she thought it would be best not to have Lu join. She said she made Lu's going entirely conditional on yours. So, you see, if you back out you'll not alone be breaking your promise, but you'll be breaking up the party and making a mess of it all round. I told Mrs. Hawes you were going, and Lu's heart is set on it. If she has to stay back now, at the last minute like this, it will disappoint her dreadfully, and I wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to you again."
"If you go out, Louie Hawes will too. Her mom said she'd let Lu go if Miss Blake agrees, but if Miss Blake objects, she thinks it’s best for Lu not to attend. She said Lu's going is totally dependent on you. So, you see, if you back out, you'll not only be breaking your promise, but you'll be ruining the party and making a mess of things for everyone. I told Mrs. Hawes you were going, and Lu is really looking forward to it. If she has to stay back now, at the last minute like this, it will disappoint her a lot, and I wouldn't blame her if she never talked to you again."
Nan felt that she had been driven into a corner, and that there was but one way out of it. In spite of her strong desire to go with the girls, she had determined to stick to her resolve to stay behind. She had hardly known why she had tried to avoid them all these days. But now she knew. It was because she was afraid they would shake her resolution. Once she would have called herself cowardly for trying to spare herself such temptation, but now she knew better; she saw she had been simply wise. It would not have been brave, but merely reckless, to have done otherwise. She had known ever since Miss Blake spoke that she was free to do as she pleased. That she was held by no promise; that she was compelled by no stronger claim than Miss Blake's disapproval, which might be, after all, only a groundless personal prejudice, she thought. She hardly realized why she felt bound to obey. And now along came Ruth to prove that there were other claims outside Miss Blake's. She remembered perfectly having said that Ruth could count on her. Here was a very definite promise, although it had been made in half-ignorance, and she understood clearly that Ruth meant to make her keep it. Then, again, she was directly responsible for Louie's disappointment, and this seemed to her, as Ruth had intended it should seem, a compelling conclusion. If she had been older her reasoning would not have stopped here, but, as it was, she perceived only two sides to the question, and this that Ruth had just presented seemed infinitely more convincing than the one Miss Blake had tried to make clear to her. Ruth's logic she could understand; the governess' seemed vague and incomprehensible. In one case she had been coerced into making a promise from which she had later been absolved; in the other she had given her word of her own free will, and she was being stoutly held to it. There were other influences at work, but Nan did not know it. She honestly believed she was waiving all considerations but those with which her duty was concerned, and she thought she had done so when she broke out with a sort of impatient groan:
Nan felt trapped, believing there was only one way out. Despite wanting to join the girls, she had decided to stick to her plan to stay behind. She could hardly understand why she had been avoiding them for so long. But now she realized it was because she was afraid they would shake her resolve. In the past, she would have called herself cowardly for trying to avoid temptation, but now she realized she had been wise. It wouldn't have been brave, just reckless, to do otherwise. Ever since Miss Blake spoke, she knew she was free to choose. She wasn’t bound by any promise; her only obligation was to Miss Blake’s disapproval, which might just be a baseless personal bias, she thought. She barely understood why she felt obligated to follow through. Then Ruth came along, showing her that there were other influences outside of Miss Blake’s. She remembered clearly saying that Ruth could count on her. That was a specific promise, even if made in ignorance, and she knew that Ruth intended to hold her to it. Moreover, she felt directly responsible for Louie's disappointment, which, just as Ruth wanted, felt like a compelling reason. If she had been older, her thinking might have gone further, but at this point, she saw only two sides, and Ruth’s argument seemed far more convincing than Miss Blake's. She understood Ruth's logic; the governess’ seemed vague and unclear. In one instance, she had been pressured into making a promise and later released from it; in the other, she had given her word willingly and was being firmly held to it. Other factors were at play, but Nan was unaware of them. She genuinely believed she was considering only her duty, and she thought she had demonstrated this when she let out an impatient groan:
"Oh, dear! I never saw such a tangle!"
"Oh gosh! I've never seen such a mess!"
"Well," returned Ruth grimly, "I don't know anything about that, but whatever it may be, I've got the strong end of the line and I mean to hold it. You've just got to go and that's all there is to it."
"Well," Ruth replied grimly, "I don't know anything about that, but whatever it is, I've got the strong end of the line, and I'm going to hold on to it. You just have to go, and that's all there is to it."
Nan gave a rueful laugh. She more than half-liked to have Ruth leave her no alternative. It somehow made her seem less responsible to herself. If the decision were taken out of her hands she could not be held accountable and—the enjoyment would be there all the same.
Nan let out a wry laugh. She felt a bit relieved to have Ruth leave her with no choice. It somehow made her feel less responsible for her actions. If the decision was made for her, she wouldn’t be held accountable, and she could still enjoy herself just the same.
"I wish you'd let me off, Ruth," she protested weakly, as a sort of last sop to her conscience.
"I wish you'd let me go, Ruth," she protested weakly, as a kind of final attempt to ease her conscience.
Ruth saw that she had prevailed and gave her head a triumphant toss. "Well, I won't, so there! And what's more I can't stand here wasting time like this another minute. I have a hundred things to do before eight o'clock, so good-bye! Be sure you're on time for we won't wait a second, and if you don't arrive none of us will ever speak to you again, so there!"
Ruth saw that she had won and tossed her head in triumph. "Well, I won’t, so there! And what’s more, I can’t stand here wasting time like this for another minute. I have a hundred things to do before eight o’clock, so goodbye! Make sure you’re on time because we won’t wait a second, and if you don’t show up, none of us will ever talk to you again, so there!"
Nan stood dumbly stubbing her toe into a little mound of snow quite a minute after Ruth had left her. She had not even glanced up when, in response to her friend's last declaration, she had said, "Very well; I'll be on hand," and her voice had sounded so flat and lifeless that Ruth thought it better to hasten off before the words could be recalled. When Nan spoke in that half-hearted tone Ruth had no faith in her strength of purpose. She walked home in a doubtful frame of mind, wondering if, after all, the promise would be kept.
Nan stood there, mindlessly stubbing her toe against a small pile of snow for a moment after Ruth had left. She hadn’t even looked up when, in response to her friend's last statement, she said, "Okay; I'll be there," and her voice sounded so flat and lifeless that Ruth thought it was best to leave quickly before the words could be taken back. When Nan spoke in that unenthusiastic tone, Ruth didn’t believe in her determination. She walked home feeling uncertain, wondering if, after all, the promise would really be kept.
But Nan had no such misgivings. She knew perfectly well that she was "in for it" now, but, strange to say, she felt no exultation in the prospect.
But Nan had no such doubts. She knew very well that she was "in for it" now, but oddly enough, she felt no excitement about it.
"Oh, dear!" she snapped out peevishly, with a last vicious dig of her heel into the snow, "every bit of enjoyment is taken out of it, I never saw anything so provoking, in the whole of my life. If Miss Blake only hadn't been so mean, I might have been spared all this fret and bother and been just as jolly as any of them. But how can a person have a good time when they know there's some one at home pulling a long face and making one feel as if one were breaking all the laws. It's just too bad, that's what it is."
"Oh, come on!" she snapped irritably, giving one last angry kick in the snow. "This has totally ruined the fun; I've never seen anything so frustrating in my entire life. If Miss Blake hadn't been so selfish, I could have avoided all this stress and been just as happy as everyone else. But how can you enjoy yourself knowing someone at home is upset and making you feel like you're doing something wrong? It's just unfair, that's what it is."
But Miss Blake neither "pulled a long face" nor by any other means tried to impress Nan with a sense of her disapproval. She took her decision quietly, and made no comment upon it one way or the other. But when it neared dressing time, and the girl had gone to her room to prepare, she tapped gently for admittance and came in, bearing in her hand a coquettish sealskin hood which she generously offered to Nan, saying:
But Miss Blake didn't frown or try to show Nan that she disapproved in any way. She accepted her decision calmly and said nothing about it. However, as it got closer to dressing time and the girl had gone to her room to get ready, she gently knocked to be let in and came in holding a stylish sealskin hood, which she generously offered to Nan, saying:
"It's bitterly cold, and I know you won't want to tie a comforter about your ears. If you will wear this I shall be only too happy to lend it to you. See, the cape is so full and deep your chest and back can't get chilled, and it is not at all clumsy, as so many of them are. Try it on. I think it will be becoming and I know it will keep you warm."
"It's freezing out, and I know you won't want to wrap a comforter around your ears. If you're willing to wear this, I'd be more than happy to lend it to you. Look, the cape is roomy and deep enough to keep your chest and back warm, and it isn't clunky like so many others. Give it a try. I think it will look great on you, and I'm sure it will keep you warm."
Nan was at a loss for words. Miss Blake had none of the air of heaping coals of fire on her head, but just for a second the girl suspected her of it and hung back reluctantly. Then she looked into the frank, honest eyes and all her suspicion vanished.
Nan didn’t know what to say. Miss Blake didn’t seem to have any intention of making things difficult for her, but for a moment, Nan doubted her and hesitated. Then she looked into Miss Blake’s open, sincere eyes, and all her doubts disappeared.
"You're—you're awfully kind," she stammered, hastily.
"You're—you're really kind," she stammered quickly.
"Try it on," repeated Miss Blake, cordially.
"Go ahead and try it on," Miss Blake said with a friendly smile.
Nan took the soft, warm thing by its rich brown ribbons and, setting it snugly on her head, tied the strings into a big broad bow beneath her chin.
Nan took the soft, warm item by its rich brown ribbons and, placing it snugly on her head, tied the strings into a big, broad bow under her chin.
"It's not so unbecoming!" commented the governess, observing Nan critically with her head on one side.
"It's not that bad!" remarked the governess, looking at Nan critically with her head tilted.
Nan looked in the mirror. What she saw there was the reflection of a flushed, excited face with keen, young eyes that were just now unusually large and bright. Sundry riotous tendrils of hair had escaped from their restraining combs and were flying loose at the temples, and, framing all, was a circle of dusky, flattering fur which lent a look of softness and roundness to the firm, square chin and rose above the brow in a quaint, coquettish peak which was vastly graceful and becoming.
Nan looked in the mirror. What she saw was the reflection of a flushed, excited face with bright, eager eyes that seemed unusually large and vibrant. Various wild strands of hair had escaped from her combs and were flying loose at her temples, and surrounding it all was a circle of dark, flattering fur that added a softness and softness to her firm, square chin and rose above her brow in a charming, playful peak that was both graceful and flattering.
"O Miss Blake!" cried Nan, her eyes flashing with pleasure, "isn't it the darlingest thing? And as warm as toast! I'll be ever and ever so careful of it. You're awfully good to lend it to me. But I really think I oughtn't to take it. Something might happen; it might get lost."
"Oh Miss Blake!" Nan exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with joy, "isn't it the cutest thing? And it's as warm as toast! I'll be so careful with it. You're really nice to lend it to me. But I honestly think I shouldn't take it. Something could happen; it might get lost."
"Don't give it another thought," Miss Blake said, kindly. "Just wear it and keep warm and comfortable. You must take the gloves, too. They will keep your fingers cozy."
"Don't think about it anymore," Miss Blake said kindly. "Just put it on and stay warm and comfortable. You need to take the gloves, too. They'll keep your fingers nice and cozy."
So Nan set out looking like a young Russian in her borrowed furs and feeling what satisfaction she might in the consciousness that she was appearing, if not behaving, at her best.
So Nan set out looking like a young Russian in her borrowed furs and feeling whatever satisfaction she could from knowing that she was looking, if not acting, at her best.
She found most of the party already assembled at Mrs. Cole's and as the door was opened to her, a loud chorus of shouting laughter met her ears and she was laid hold of by a dozen hands and dragged forward under the gaslight.
She found most of the party already gathered at Mrs. Cole's, and as the door opened for her, a loud chorus of laughter greeted her, and she was grabbed by a dozen hands and pulled forward under the bright gaslight.
"Pooh!" shrieked the chorus again. "This one's easy enough! Nan Cutler! first guess," and she was released as hurriedly as she had been set upon, while the entire company fell upon a later comer and tried to discover the identity of the muffled, veiled individual before she had either spoken or recovered from the unexpected onslaught.
"Pooh!" shouted the crowd again. "This one's a no-brainer! Nan Cutler! first guess," and she was let go as quickly as she had been ambushed, while everyone else turned their attention to a newcomer and tried to figure out who the hidden, veiled person was before she had a chance to speak or recover from the surprise attack.
"Well, Nan," cried Harley Morris, jovially, "you're the only girl who isn't muffled out of all recognition. We've had a dandy time trying to identify some of them."
"Well, Nan," shouted Harley Morris cheerfully, "you're the only girl who isn't all wrapped up beyond recognition. We've had a great time trying to figure out who some of them are."
"I never saw you look so well," declared Louie Hawes, generously, with her eyes glued to the fascinating peak.
"I've never seen you look so good," Louie Hawes said generously, her eyes fixed on the captivating peak.
"Nor I," broke in Mary Brewster. "Really, I didn't know you at first. That hood is as disguising to you as our veils are to us."
"Me neither," interrupted Mary Brewster. "Honestly, I didn't recognize you at first. That hood makes you look as different to me as our veils do to us."
Nan flushed, but made no response. Harley Morris gave a low whistle and strolled off to join John Gardiner, who was standing before the fire talking with grave-faced Mr. Cole, and as he went she heard him murmur under his breath:
Nan blushed, but didn’t say anything. Harley Morris let out a low whistle and walked over to join John Gardiner, who was standing by the fire chatting with serious-faced Mr. Cole, and as he left, she heard him mutter under his breath:
"Sweet remark! Oh, these dear girl friends!"
"Sweet comment! Oh, these wonderful girlfriends!"
It instantly changed her feeling from momentary resentment toward Mary to pity for her.
It immediately shifted her feeling from brief resentment toward Mary to pity for her.
All at once Mrs. Cole's shrill treble was heard high above the hum and murmur of the other voices, crying:
All of a sudden, Mrs. Cole's sharp voice cut through the buzz of the other conversations, shouting:
"Now, girls and boys, time's almost up! It any of the party's missing, he or she will be left behind! Prompt's the word."
"Alright, everyone, time's almost up! If anyone from the group is missing, they'll be left behind! Being on time is key."
Then, stepping over to her husband, she tapped him lightly on the shoulder and said:
Then, she walked over to her husband, gave him a gentle tap on the shoulder, and said:
"There now, Tom, I'm glad we're going, for you're looking as solemn as an owl. Cheer up and have a lovely time with your book and that jolly fire, and don't forget to go to bed at nine o'clock like a good little boy."
"There now, Tom, I'm glad we're going, because you look as serious as an owl. Cheer up and enjoy your book by the cozy fire, and don't forget to go to bed at nine o'clock like a good little boy."
Mary Brewster laughed, and most of the others joined in her merriment. But Mr. Cole looked so troubled and stern that Nan, who was gazing at him from the corners of her eyes, saw no reason to laugh at his wife's sally, but felt a much greater inclination to cry for pity of him and his anxious face.
Mary Brewster laughed, and most of the others joined in her happiness. But Mr. Cole looked so worried and serious that Nan, who was watching him from the corners of her eyes, saw no reason to laugh at his wife's joke, but felt a much stronger urge to cry for him and his worried expression.
Suddenly she was roused from her musing by John Gardiner's voice close at her ear.
Suddenly, she was brought out of her thoughts by John Gardiner's voice right next to her ear.
"Nan!" he said.
"Grandma!" he said.
"Oh, heyo, John!"
"Hey, John!"
"I want to tell you something," he went on, nervously, in a hesitating whisper. "From the looks of her, Mrs. Cole means to carry things with a high hand to-night. Hope we won't come to grief. Sometimes the motto is 'everything goes,' and then it isn't so easy to hold back and stand for the things you ought to. I depend on you, Nan, to keep a level head, for some of us'll have to act as ballast or we'll all go under."
"I want to tell you something," he continued nervously, in a hesitant whisper. "From the looks of her, Mrs. Cole is planning to take charge tonight. I hope we don't get into trouble. Sometimes the motto is 'anything goes,' and then it's not so easy to hold back and stand up for what you should. I’m counting on you, Nan, to stay calm, because some of us will need to be the stabilizing force, or we'll all sink."
Nan's face glowed with gratification. "All right, John," she responded staunchly, and then, Mrs. Cole giving the signal, in an instant the roomful seemed to fling itself helter-skelter to the hall-door, fastening boas and mufflers as it went, all eager and breathless to be off. There was a deal of laughing and exclaiming, shrieking and protesting as the girls were bundled, one after another, into the sleigh.
Nan's face lit up with satisfaction. "Okay, John," she replied firmly, and then, as Mrs. Cole signaled, the whole room quickly rushed to the hall door, throwing on scarves and wraps as they went, all excited and eager to leave. There was a lot of laughing and shouting, along with screams and objections as the girls were packed, one after another, into the sleigh.
"Is this you, Lu?"
"Is that you, Lu?"
"Yes. O dear! I have lost my veil. No, here it is, dragged under my chin."
"Yes. Oh no! I've lost my veil. Wait, here it is, stuck under my chin."
"I thought I was to sit next to you, Nan!"
"I thought I was supposed to sit next to you, Nan!"
"Oh, that's all right, Mary's there, and it's too late to change now. No matter."
"Oh, that's fine, Mary's there, and it's too late to change things now. It's whatever."
John Gardiner leaped up.
John Gardiner jumped up.
"I say there, Mike, hold your horses for a second. Would you mind moving down a place, Mary? Thanks! Mrs. Cole said I was to sit next to Nan, and as we are all under her orders to-night I'm bound to obey. There! this is what I call festive! 'A thorn between two roses,' eh?" and he settled himself comfortably between the two girls with a great, hearty laugh and a final "Ready!" at which word the horses started into a brisk trot. Their bells broke into a silver chime; the sleigh swept smoothly over the glaze of snow, and the evening's fun began.
"I'll tell you what, Mike, hold on for a second. Could you please move down a spot, Mary? Thanks! Mrs. Cole said I should sit next to Nan, and since we're all following her orders tonight, I have to do it. There! This is what I call a festive vibe! 'A thorn between two roses,' right?" He settled in comfortably between the two girls with a big, hearty laugh and a final "Ready!" At that word, the horses started into a lively trot. Their bells chimed like silver; the sleigh glided smoothly over the shiny snow, and the evening's fun began.
Some one had brought a tin horn, and this was blown with such a vim that conversation was impossible. But remarks and retorts were shouted from one side to the other, and the tamest of them brought forth peals of laughter.
Someone had brought a tin horn, and it was blown with such energy that conversation was impossible. But comments and replies were shouted from one side to the other, and even the mildest of them prompted bursts of laughter.
The heaven above them was densely black, and out of it flashed innumerable stars like sparks white-hot and quivering with inward fire. But the wind that swept across the sky was so cold that it made it seem to contract and retreat and leave the shivering world an inconceivable depth below.
The sky above them was pitch black, and countless stars flashed like white-hot sparks, trembling with inner fire. But the wind that blew across the sky was so cold it made the heavens feel like they were shrinking away, leaving the chilled world an unimaginable distance below.
Swathed and bundled as they were, the girls very soon began to feel the deadly chill in the icy air.
Swaddled and wrapped up as they were, the girls quickly started to feel the biting cold in the frigid air.
"Nan's shivering like an ash-pan!" John cried out suddenly. "Has anybody got an extra shawl or something they can lend her?"
"Nan's shaking like a leaf!" John exclaimed suddenly. "Does anyone have an extra shawl or something they can lend her?"
"Hush!" returned the girl, trying to control her trembling, "it's nothing; I'm all right."
"Hush!" the girl replied, trying to steady her shaking, "it's nothing; I'm fine."
"Pity she can't keep warm with John Gardiner beside her!" Mrs. Cole suggested.
"Pity she can't stay warm with John Gardiner next to her!" Mrs. Cole suggested.
In the shadow Nan's teeth came together with a snap of disgust. She saw now what it was in Mrs. Cole that offended Miss Blake. She had never noticed it before, but it had been there, and she knew it. John made no retort, while the others laughed and applauded.
In the shadows, Nan's teeth clicked together in a snap of disgust. She realized what it was about Mrs. Cole that bothered Miss Blake. She had never seen it before, but it had always been there, and she knew it. John didn't respond, while the others laughed and cheered.
"Here, Nan!" spoke up some one at the other end of the sleigh, "here's a cigarette. Take it and warm yourself before its genial blaze," and it was passed along from hand to hand, its ruddy point glinting out in the shadow as it went along. When it came to Mary, instead of handing it on at once, she held it a moment, then suddenly raised it to her lips.
"Hey, Nan!" someone at the other end of the sleigh called out, "here's a cigarette. Take it and warm yourself by its friendly glow," and it was passed from hand to hand, its glowing tip shining in the shadows as it traveled. When it reached Mary, instead of passing it on immediately, she held it for a moment, then suddenly brought it to her lips.
"Hey, there! Turn off the draught!" cried its owner merrily at sight of the newly-glowing tip.
"Hey, over there! Turn off the draft!" shouted its owner cheerfully at the sight of the newly glowing tip.
"Shut down the damper!" shouted some one else.
"Shut the damper!" shouted someone else.
"I dare you to smoke it!" laughed Mrs. Cole.
"I dare you to smoke it!" laughed Mrs. Cole.
Mary deliberately took a long puff.
Mary intentionally took a long drag.
Nan leaned back behind John and laid her gloved hand impulsively on Mary's shoulder. "O Mary!" she protested in a whisper. "Don't. Please! It'll make you sick."
Nan leaned back behind John and impulsively placed her gloved hand on Mary's shoulder. "Oh Mary!" she whispered. "Don't. Please! It'll make you sick."
But the girl was not to be thwarted. She shook off Nan's hand impatiently.
But the girl wouldn’t be stopped. She shook off Nan's hand impatiently.
"Mind your own business!" she replied, and took another puff.
"Mind your own business!" she shot back, then took another puff.
On they swept through the icy air, across the snow-covered country, amid the white night. The horn blew; the voices sang and shouted, and finally the sleigh swung up before the hospitable road-house, where every window was alight and their steaming supper awaited them.
On they moved through the cold air, across the snow-covered landscape, under the bright night sky. The horn sounded; voices sang and shouted, and finally the sleigh pulled up in front of the welcoming roadside inn, where every window was lit and their hot meal was waiting for them.
It was harder to get out of the sleigh than it had been to get in it, for joints that at first had been limber and strong were now stiff and cramped from cold and disuse, and the girls made a sorry show, limping and halting from the sleigh to the house. When Nan first gained the ground she could hardly stand, but a little vigorous exercise soon sent the blood tingling through her veins again and unknotted her muscles, and she was about to run gayly up the path when she felt a hand upon her shoulder, and looking round saw Mary Brewster beside her, her face ghastly and drawn in the pallid moonlight and her chin quivering weakly in a manner that Nan saw at once was not the effect of the cold.
It was tougher to get out of the sleigh than it had been to get in, as joints that had initially felt flexible and strong were now stiff and cramped from the cold and lack of movement. The girls made a pitiful sight, limping and stumbling from the sleigh to the house. When Nan finally got to the ground, she could barely stand, but a bit of active movement quickly sent the blood racing through her veins and loosened her muscles. She was about to skip happily up the path when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Mary Brewster next to her, her face pale and drawn in the dim moonlight, with her chin trembling weakly in a way that made Nan realize immediately it was not just from the cold.
"Lean on my shoulder and I'll get you up to the house in a jiff," she said, in a low whisper.
"Lean on my shoulder, and I'll help you get to the house in no time," she said softly.
Mary clung to her, wavering and faint, without a word, and in the confusion no one noticed her plight. Nan had fairly to drag her up the steps, and then again up the staircase to the room the woman of the place had showed them when Nan had drawn her aside and told her of their dilemma.
Mary held onto her, feeling unsteady and weak, without saying a word, and in the chaos, no one noticed what she was going through. Nan had to practically pull her up the steps, and then again up the staircase to the room the woman of the place had pointed out when Nan had pulled her aside and explained their situation.
"It's the cold!" gasped Mary, crying abjectly between her spasms of misery.
"It's so cold!" Mary gasped, crying helplessly between her waves of misery.
"No such thing!" returned Nan stoutly. "It's that villainous cigarette. But never mind now. There! Don't think of anything but getting better. I'll stroke your head for you. It must be aching terribly."
"No way!" Nan replied firmly. "It's that awful cigarette. But let's not focus on that now. There! Just concentrate on getting better. I'll rub your head for you. It must be hurting a lot."
So she soothed and comforted the girl as best she could, and the kind mistress of the house came up every now and then with offers of help and reports of how the supper was progressing below, and after a while Mary grew quieter and could do something beside moan and cry and wring her hands over her own wretchedness.
So she calmed and comforted the girl as much as she could, and the kind woman of the house checked in every now and then with offers of help and updates on how dinner was going downstairs. Eventually, Mary became calmer and could do more than just moan, cry, and wring her hands over her own misery.
"Nan," she whispered presently in a conscious-smitten voice, "I want you to leave me and go down stairs. You've given up the best part of the fun for me, but you shan't lose it all. Please go down!"
"Nan," she whispered softly, her voice full of awareness, "I want you to leave me and go downstairs. You've given up the best part of the fun for me, but you shouldn't miss out completely. Please go down!"
Nan shook her head. "No, you don't, ma'am!" she declared cheerfully, and Mary was too exhausted to argue the question. She felt deliciously drowsy and the freedom from pain made her tearfully happy. Vague, dreamy thoughts were wandering through her brain, and one of them was that Nan had been very kind to her. She had not deserved it. She had been mean to Nan. She admitted it. She ought to beg her forgiveness. It was so good to be out of pain that she was willing to do anything to prove her gratitude. She opened her eyes and saw Nan bending over her with a face full of sympathy. She put up her hands and drew the face down to hers, her lip trembling like a little child's.
Nan shook her head. "No, you don't, ma'am!" she said cheerfully, and Mary was too exhausted to argue. She felt pleasantly drowsy, and the relief from pain made her tearfully happy. Vague, dreamy thoughts floated through her mind, and one of them was that Nan had been very kind to her. She didn’t deserve it. She had been mean to Nan. She admitted it. She should ask for her forgiveness. It felt so good to be free from pain that she was willing to do anything to show her gratitude. She opened her eyes and saw Nan leaning over her with a face full of sympathy. She raised her hands and brought Nan's face down to hers, her lip trembling like a little child’s.
"Kiss me, Nan!"
"Kiss me, grandma!"
Nan kissed her.
Nan kissed her.
"I want you to forgive me. I've been hateful to you and you've been generous and kind and—I love you for it. I'd like to be your friend—if you'd let me, after the way I've treated you."
"I want you to forgive me. I've been awful to you and you've been generous and kind—and I love you for it. I'd really like to be your friend—if you’d let me, after the way I’ve treated you."
Nan kissed her again. "Never mind that now. We'll begin all over, and I guess I can behave a little better myself. Now go to sleep and get a good nap before it's time to go home."
Nan kissed her again. "Forget about that for now. We'll start fresh, and I think I can do better myself. Now get some sleep and take a good nap before it's time to go home."
CHAPTER XVII
CONSEQUENCES
As soon as she saw that Mary had fallen soundly asleep Nan rose and slipped noiselessly down stairs. She had no trouble in finding the supper-room, for she had only to follow the echoing sounds to be led directly to the door. She stood a moment on the threshold before she laid her hand upon the knob. It seemed to her she had never heard such a hub-bub, but as she listened she seemed to hear, over and above it all, Miss Blake's soft voice saying quietly:
As soon as she saw that Mary was fast asleep, Nan got up and quietly went downstairs. She had no trouble finding the dining room since she just had to follow the loud sounds to get to the door. She paused for a moment at the entrance before reaching for the knob. It felt to her like she had never heard such a racket, but as she listened, she thought she could hear Miss Blake's gentle voice saying softly:
"If you and the other girls have no more careful a chaperone than Mrs. Cole, I am afraid your party will prove a rather uproarious one."
"If you and the other girls don't have a more responsible chaperone than Mrs. Cole, I’m afraid your party is going to be quite chaotic."
"Rather uproarious!" Nan smiled, as she repeated the words to herself. Then she turned the knob and pushed open the door.
"Pretty wild!" Nan smiled as she said the words to herself again. Then she turned the knob and pushed the door open.
The clamor surged louder than ever, and for a second seemed almost to stun her. Dishes were clattering, and every one seemed doing his or her best to add to the tumult and confusion. No one noticed Nan standing dumbly in the doorway, and it was only when some one's eye fell upon her as she took a step or two forward that there was a cry of "Hullo! Here's Nan!" and she was pulled to the table, forced into a chair, and plied with all sorts of dishes and questions, until she put her hands to her ears and begged for mercy.
The noise got louder than ever, and for a moment it almost overwhelmed her. Dishes were clattering everywhere, and everyone seemed to be doing their best to contribute to the chaos. No one noticed Nan standing quietly in the doorway, and it was only when someone spotted her as she took a step or two forward that a voice yelled, "Hey! Here's Nan!" She was pulled to the table, pushed into a chair, and bombarded with all sorts of food and questions until she covered her ears and pleaded for a break.
"Here's some salad! Take this!"
"Here's some salad! Enjoy!"
"The jelly's most gone and what's left of it is melted. But you're welcome to it such as it is and what there is of it."
"The jelly is mostly gone, and what's left is melted. But you're welcome to it, as it is, and whatever there is of it."
"Where have you been all this time?"
"Where have you been all this time?"
"We've been calling you every sort of a name for being so rude as to stay away from the supper."
"We've been calling you all kinds of names for being so rude and not showing up for dinner."
"Oh, Nan had her good reason," shouted Mrs. Cole, pushing back her chair and springing to her feet.
"Oh, Nan had her good reason," yelled Mrs. Cole, pushing back her chair and jumping to her feet.
"Come, girls and boys!" she cried shrilly, "it's getting late. If we want to dance we'd better be about it."
"Come on, everyone!" she shouted, "it's getting late. If we want to dance, we should get moving."
Of course that led to a general uprising, and in a moment the whole tableful was swarming toward the parlor.
Of course, that caused a general uproar, and in no time, everyone at the table was rushing toward the parlor.
"How do you like it, Nan?" asked John Gardiner, quizzically, coming and leaning toward her to whisper the question in her ear, as they stood at one side waiting for the music to begin.
"How do you like it, Nan?" asked John Gardiner, with a curious look, as he leaned closer to whisper the question in her ear while they waited on the side for the music to start.
"Like it!" repeated Nan, "I think Mrs. Cole's simply—well, I'm sorry she was ever asked to come. It would all have been so different if we had had Mrs. Andrews or Mrs. Hawes or—just imagine Miss Blake acting as she has to-night!"
"Like it!" Nan said again. "I think Mrs. Cole is just—well, I wish she had never been invited. Everything would have been so different if we had Mrs. Andrews or Mrs. Hawes or—just picture Miss Blake behaving like she did tonight!"
"I can't imagine it!" returned John, emphatically, "and worse yet, Mike is in no condition to drive us home. He's been drinking. I went out to see if the horses were all right and being fed, you know, and there I heard about it. Mike simply mustn't drive."
"I can't even picture it!" John replied strongly, "and even worse, Mike isn't in any shape to drive us home. He's been drinking. I stepped out to check if the horses were okay and being fed, you know, and that’s when I heard about it. Mike absolutely can't drive."
Nan pressed her hands together and gave a stifled groan.
Nan pressed her hands together and let out a muffled groan.
"That's what I wanted to tell you," continued John, hurriedly. "It isn't safe to let him try and I'm going to take his place myself. I don't know how long I can stand it, for it's colder than ever and I haven't any driving gloves, but I'll do the best I can and perhaps some of the other fellows will lend a hand."
"That's what I wanted to tell you," John said quickly. "It's not safe to let him try, so I’m going to take his place myself. I don’t know how long I can last, since it’s colder than ever and I don’t have any driving gloves, but I’ll do my best and maybe some of the other guys will help out."
Nan thought a minute. "I tell you what," she declared at last, "I'm going to do part of the driving myself. I'll sit up front and when you give out I'll lend a hand and we'll get through somehow. I've Miss Blake's gloves and they are as warm as toast."
Nan thought for a moment. "You know what," she finally said, "I'm going to do some of the driving myself. I'll sit up front, and when you get tired, I'll help out and we'll make it through somehow. I've got Miss Blake's gloves, and they're as warm as toast."
The anxious look faded a little from John's face, and in spite of himself he showed he was relieved. "I may not have to give up at all," he said at length; "but if I do there's not a fellow in the whole lot I'd rather trust the reins to than you. Come! They're making a move. Get your things on as quick as you can and be where I can see you so we can take our places without making too much talk."
The worried look on John's face eased a bit, and despite himself, he showed that he felt relieved. "Maybe I won't have to give up after all," he finally said; "but if I do, there's no one I’d rather trust with the reins than you. Come on! They're starting to move. Get ready as quickly as you can and be where I can see you, so we can take our places without too much fuss."
In a twinkling Nan had flown upstairs, roused Mary and helped her to get ready and was hooded and cloaked and standing in the hall-way. The others came up one by one and presently the big door was opened and they trooped through it out into the waiting sleigh. John gave Nan a hand and she sprang quickly to the place beside him on the driver's seat. They started.
In an instant, Nan had dashed upstairs, woke Mary up, helped her get ready, and was now dressed in her hood and cloak, standing in the hallway. The others arrived one by one, and soon the big door was opened, and they filed out into the waiting sleigh. John helped Nan, and she quickly jumped into the seat beside him at the driver's position. They took off.
It proved a very different matter sitting on that unsheltered box facing the wind to cuddling, as they had done before, among the warm straw with their faces shielded from the current by the high protecting sides of the sleigh, and after a very little while Nan had to set her teeth to keep from crying out for the pain in her stinging cheeks.
It was a completely different experience sitting on that open box facing the wind compared to snuggling, like they had before, in the warm straw with their faces protected from the breeze by the high sides of the sleigh. After just a short time, Nan had to grit her teeth to avoid crying out from the pain in her stinging cheeks.
Back of them the rest of the party shouted and tootled and yodeled as cheerfully as ever. Every one wanted to know what had become of Mike, and as nobody could tell but John and Nan, and they wouldn't, the questions went unanswered, and by and by the subject was dropped and only occasional spiteful jokes made by Mrs. Cole at the expense of John's driving and Nan's sitting beside him while he did it.
Behind them, the rest of the group cheered, whistled, and sang joyfully as usual. Everyone wanted to know what had happened to Mike, but since only John and Nan knew and they refused to share, the questions went unanswered. Eventually, people stopped asking, and only occasional snarky jokes from Mrs. Cole about John's driving and Nan sitting next to him while he drove were heard.
Happily the horses knew the way home and were eager to get there, so they did not have to be urged or guided. But it was necessary to hold a tight rein, and John's hands soon began to feel tortured and twisted with the strain upon them biting through their numbness like screws of pain. He shook his head determinedly when Nan offered to relieve him, and at last she had to wrench the reins from him in order to take her share of duty and give him a chance to recover a little.
Happily, the horses knew the way home and were excited to get there, so they didn't need any urging or guidance. But it was important to hold a tight rein, and John's hands soon started to feel tortured and twisted from the strain, the pain biting through their numbness like screws. He shook his head firmly when Nan offered to help him, and eventually, she had to pull the reins from him so she could take her share of the workload and give him a chance to recover a bit.
So, taking turns faithfully like good comrades, and exchanging never a word, they got the sleigh and its load safely into town at last, and not one of the gay, irresponsible party knew how difficult an achievement it had been.
So, taking turns diligently like good friends, and not saying a word, they finally delivered the sleigh and its load into town safely, and none of the cheerful, carefree group realized how hard that had been.
Miss Blake herself opened the door to Nan and let her in. One glance at her, as she stood huddled and quivering with cold in the vestibule, was enough. Not a question was asked. She was led gently into the warm dining-room, her hood and cloak taken from her and her frozen hands briskly chafed, while on Miss Blake's tea-stand stood her little brass kettle, bubbling and purring merrily above its alcohol flame, and hinting broadly at soothing cups of something "grateful and comforting."
Miss Blake herself opened the door for Nan and let her in. One look at her, as she stood huddled and shivering from the cold in the entrance, was enough. No questions were asked. She was gently led into the warm dining room, her hood and cloak taken off, and her frozen hands briskly rubbed to warm them up, while on Miss Blake's tea stand sat her little brass kettle, bubbling and purring happily above its alcohol flame, subtly suggesting soothing cups of something "comforting and warm."
Nan let herself be waited upon in a sort of half dream. The agony in her hands had been so great that it had taken all her strength to bear it, and now it was going she felt weak and babyish.
Nan let herself be waited on in a kind of half dream. The pain in her hands had been so intense that it had drained all her strength to endure it, and now that it was fading, she felt weak and childish.
"O dear!" she broke down at last, with a gulp of relief. "It's been an awful evening! Mrs. Cole was detestable. Do you know what she did?" and then came out the whole story pell-mell: all told in Nan's blunt, uncompromising way, and giving Miss Blake a better idea than anything else could have done of just how right she had been in opposing the girl's going under such chaperon age.
"O dear!" she finally exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief. "It's been a terrible evening! Mrs. Cole was awful. Do you know what she did?" And then the whole story came rushing out: all told in Nan's direct, no-nonsense way, giving Miss Blake a clearer understanding than anything else could have of just how right she had been in opposing the girl's going with such a chaperone.
She was too wise to say "I told you so," and she was too sincere to try to gloss over the probable result of the episode. She looked grave and thoughtful when Nan had finished her account, and her voice was very serious as she said:
She was too wise to say "I told you so," and she was too sincere to try to downplay the likely outcome of the situation. She looked serious and contemplative when Nan finished her story, and her voice was very serious as she said:
"What the consequences to the others may be I don't know; I dread to think. But I feel that at least you and John and Mary have seen things as they are, and will profit by your experience. You remember the talk we had at Mrs. Newton's before the holidays? She said 'Experience is an expensive school, and only fools can afford to go to it,' or something like that; you are no fool, Nan. I think you will see more and more plainly, as time goes on, that there are some things that we cannot afford to do. We cannot afford to buy a momentary pleasure at the price of a lifetime of regret, and we cannot afford to spend even one day of our life in unscrupulous company. It costs too much. We think we have a very keen business sense, we men and women, but we allow ourselves to be cheated every day we live in a way that would disgust us if we were dealing in dollars and cents. Self-respect is more valuable than momentary enjoyment, yet those boys and girls sold one for the other to-night.
"What the consequences for the others might be, I don’t know; I dread to think about it. But I feel that at least you, John, and Mary have seen things for what they are and will learn from your experience. Do you remember the conversation we had at Mrs. Newton's before the holidays? She said, 'Experience is an expensive school, and only fools can afford to attend,' or something like that; you’re no fool, Nan. I think you'll realize more and more as time goes on that there are some things we can't afford to do. We can't afford to buy a moment of pleasure at the cost of a lifetime of regret, and we can't afford to spend even one day of our lives in unscrupulous company. It’s too costly. We think we have a sharp business sense, both men and women, but we allow ourselves to be cheated every day in a way that would appall us if we were dealing with dollars and cents. Self-respect is worth more than temporary enjoyment, yet those boys and girls traded one for the other tonight."
"As for you, I think you made a good exchange, Nan, when you gave up your supper for Mary's sake. Love is a reliable bank, dear, and you can't make too many deposits in it. It always pays compound interest, and the best of it is, it never fails."
"As for you, I think you made a smart choice, Nan, by giving up your dinner for Mary. Love is a trustworthy investment, dear, and you can never deposit too much into it. It always yields great returns, and the best part is, it never lets you down."
Nan's lips opened as if she were about to speak, but she closed them again, and sat looking into the fire very seriously and silently for some time. Then the lips parted again, and this time the words came, though even now with an effort:
Nan's lips parted as if she was about to say something, but then she closed them again and sat quietly, staring seriously at the fire for a while. Then her lips opened once more, and this time the words came out, although it still took some effort:
"I guess you'll think it's no credit to me that I'm sorry I went. But I am sorry, and I would be if it had been the best time in the world. I didn't want to go, really, after you said you'd—rather I wouldn't. I didn't, honestly. It won't do either of us any good for me to say now that I wish I had done as you wanted me to. But I do wish it. I've hated myself all along for acting as I did. Now don't let's say anything more about it—but—but—I wanted you to know how I feel."
"I guess you’ll think it’s no big deal that I regret going. But I do regret it, even if it had been the best experience ever. I really didn’t want to go after you said you’d—honestly, I didn’t. It won’t help either of us if I say now that I wish I had done what you wanted. But I do wish that. I’ve hated myself the whole time for acting the way I did. Now let’s not say anything more about it—but—but—I wanted you to know how I feel."
There was an ominous catch in her voice that warned Miss Blake not to pursue the subject. Nan could humble herself to apologize, but to follow the abasement up by shedding tears on it was too much for her dignity, and she fought against it stolidly.
There was a warning tone in her voice that told Miss Blake not to continue the conversation. Nan could lower herself to apologize, but to follow that by crying about it was too much for her pride, and she resisted it firmly.
But the governess knew her well enough by this time to feel assured that what she said was true, and she accepted the clumsy, halting "amende" as gratefully as if it had been the most graceful of acknowledgments.
But the governess knew her well enough by this point to feel confident that what she said was true, and she accepted the awkward, hesitant "apology" as gratefully as if it had been the most graceful acknowledgment.
"Dear me," she broke in, in quite a matter-of-fact way. "Do you know that the small hours are getting to be large hours, and we are sitting here as unconcernedly as if it were just after dinner. Come, let us both get upstairs and to bed as fast as our feet can carry us," and she promptly set the example by extinguishing the lamp and helping Nan to shoulder her armful of wraps.
"Goodness," she interjected, quite casually. "Did you realize that the early hours are turning into late hours, and we're sitting here as if it’s just after dinner? Come on, let’s get upstairs and to bed as fast as we can," and she immediately took the lead by turning off the lamp and helping Nan carry her pile of clothes.
"Oh, by the way," she said, as they readied the upper hall, and the girl was about to make return of the hood, "you may keep it if you will. Accept it and the gloves, with my love, as a sort of recompense for what other things you have missed this evening."
"Oh, by the way," she said, as they prepared the upper hall, and the girl was about to return the hood, "you can keep it if you want. Take it and the gloves, with my love, as a kind of compensation for the other things you missed this evening."
Nan was too overcome by the richness of the gift to make any response at all for a moment. Then she blurted out awkwardly, though in a very grateful voice:
Nan was so overwhelmed by the generosity of the gift that she couldn't respond for a moment. Then she awkwardly said, although with a very grateful tone:
"You're so good to me it makes me—ashamed. You're always giving me things. It isn't right. You give away everything you have."
"You're so good to me it makes me—ashamed. You're always giving me things. It isn't fair. You give away everything you have."
Miss Blake lifted her chin and laughed gayly over the cleft in it.
Miss Blake lifted her chin and laughed cheerfully over the split in it.
"No, I don't," she returned, tip-toeing to drop the gloves, like a blessing, on the girl's head. "I have one or two things which I keep all for myself. But if I like to give presents, do you know what it's a sign of? It's a sign I'm poor. Poor people are always possessed by a passion for giving presents. It's true! I've always noticed it! Good-night!"
"No, I don't," she replied, tiptoeing to drop the gloves, like a blessing, on the girl's head. "I have a few things that I keep all to myself. But if I enjoy giving gifts, do you know what that means? It means I'm poor. Poor people always have this urge to give gifts. It's true! I've always seen it! Good night!"
And that was the last Nan heard about the affair from Miss Blake. Unfortunately—or fortunately—it was not the last she heard of it from others, by any means. It was a long, long time before it was allowed to drop.
And that was the last Nan heard about the affair from Miss Blake. Unfortunately—or fortunately—it wasn’t the last she heard about it from others, not by a long shot. It took a really long time before it was allowed to fade away.
In the first place, Michael was discharged from the stables, and this led to a vast amount of discussion, for the poor fellow, who was temperate by nature, was thrown out of employment in midwinter, and his predicament seemed a pitiable one to those who really understood the facts in the case.
In the beginning, Michael was let go from the stables, which sparked a lot of conversation, because the poor guy, who was naturally moderate, lost his job in the middle of winter, and his situation seemed really unfortunate to those who truly understood the details.
Miss Blake, when she heard of the affair, had bidden John Gardiner bring the man to her. She heard his story, and then sent him off with a few kindly, encouraging words, and the poor fellow felt comforted in spite of the facts that she had given him neither money nor any definite promise of help. When he had gone she sat for some time thinking busily, her chin in her palms and her elbows propped on the desk in front of her. She was still for so long that John and Nan stole off after a while and tried experiments with the kodak on some back-yard views, and when they came back to Miss Blake's room to ask her opinion on some point of focus they found the place deserted and the governess gone.
Miss Blake, when she heard about the situation, had asked John Gardiner to bring the man to her. She listened to his story, then sent him away with a few encouraging words, and the poor guy felt some comfort despite the fact that she hadn’t given him any money or a clear promise of help. Once he left, she sat for a while in deep thought, resting her chin in her palms with her elbows on the desk in front of her. She was still for so long that John and Nan quietly slipped away and started experimenting with the camera on some backyard views, and when they returned to Miss Blake's room to ask her opinion on a focus issue, they found the place empty and the governess gone.
The next day Mike was discovered sitting smilingly enthroned in his accustomed place on the lofty box of the livery "broom-carriage," and he vouchsafed the information to congratulating friends that: "Ut's another chanct Oi hav, though how Oi come boy ut ye'll niver know anny moar than Oi do mesilf, for Misther Allen was that set agin me he wuddn't hear a wurrud Oi'd sa'. But Oi have another chanct and ut's mesilf 'll see till ut, ut lasts me me loife-toime."
The next day, Mike was found smiling and confidently seated in his usual spot on the high box of the livery “broom-carriage.” He shared with his congratulating friends, “It’s another chance I have, though how I got it, you’ll never know any more than I do myself, because Mr. Allen was so against me he wouldn’t listen to a word I said. But I have another chance, and I’ll make sure it lasts me a lifetime.”
"O dear!" complained Ruth to Nan, "I never want to hear the name of sleigh-ride again so long as I live. Everywhere I go, they say so significantly: 'We hear you had a very gay time the other night! Well, well! such things wouldn't have been tolerated when I was young!' and then they make some cutting remark about Mrs. Cole, and I'm afraid it's not going to be very pleasant for her after this, for none of our fathers and mothers want to have anything more to do with her. They say her example has been so bad. And one can't have a bit of fun nowadays, for we're all being kept on short rations to pay up for the other night."
"Oh dear!" complained Ruth to Nan, "I never want to hear the word sleigh ride again for as long as I live. Everywhere I go, people say with such significance: 'We heard you had a great time the other night! Well, well! Things like that wouldn't have been allowed when I was young!' Then they throw in some snarky comment about Mrs. Cole, and I'm worried it's not going to be good for her after this because none of our parents want to have anything to do with her anymore. They say her behavior has been so bad. And we can’t have any fun these days because we’re all being limited to pay for what happened the other night."
But as the weeks passed the gossip died away and then every one breathed freer again.
But as the weeks went by, the gossip faded, and everyone started to relax again.
Latterly Nan was filling her part of the household contract with considerably less ill-will than she had shown at the beginning, but even now there were occasional lamentations when the day was especially enticing, and her spirits rose and soared above the pettiness of bed-making and the degradation of dusting. It took her about twice as long to get through with her share of the work as it took Miss Blake, and she could never console herself with the thought that it was because the governess shirked. Occasionally she let her own tasks go "with a lick and a promise," as Delia described it, bat when she saw the thoroughness with which Miss Blake did even the least important thing she had the grace to be ashamed and to determine on a better course in the future. But before she really settled down to a stricter habit of conscientiousness something happened that gave her more of an impulse than a course of lectures would have done.
Lately, Nan was handling her part of the household duties with a lot less bitterness than she had at the start, but there were still times when she sighed dramatically, especially on beautiful days that made her spirit lift above the mundane tasks of making beds and dusting. It took her about twice as long to finish her share of the work compared to Miss Blake, and she could never convince herself that it was because the governess was slacking off. Sometimes she would let her own tasks slide "with a lick and a promise," as Delia put it, but whenever she saw how thoroughly Miss Blake tackled even the smallest jobs, she felt embarrassed and resolved to do better in the future. However, before she could truly commit to a more disciplined approach, something happened that inspired her more than any lecture could.
The winter had been a long and unusually severe one, but by March it seemed reasonable to suppose that its backbone was broken. Nan had preferred the care of the conservatory to the duller and less interesting work of dish-washing, and Miss Blake, in letting her take her choice, had only exacted the promise that her charge was not to be neglected. Nan had, as we know, given her hand upon it, and so the matter stood. The governess never "nagged" her about her duties; she took it for granted that the girl would honorably keep her word.
The winter had been long and unusually harsh, but by March it seemed fair to think that it was finally over. Nan preferred taking care of the conservatory to the boring and less interesting task of washing dishes, and Miss Blake, by allowing her to choose, only required the promise that her responsibilities wouldn’t be overlooked. Nan had, as we know, agreed to that, and so everything stood as is. The governess never "nagged" her about her duties; she simply assumed that the girl would honor her commitment.
And indeed for some time she was tolerably thorough, watering the plants and loosening the soil about their roots; sponging the leaves of the rubber trees and palms and picking off all the shriveled leaves and faded petals from the flowering shrubs and keeping the temperature at as nearly the right degree as was possible with such varying weather and their simple device for heating the place.
And for a while, she was doing pretty well, watering the plants and loosening the soil around their roots; cleaning the leaves of the rubber trees and palms, and removing all the dry leaves and wilted petals from the flowering shrubs, while trying to keep the temperature as close to ideal as possible given the unpredictable weather and their basic heating system.
But she found it was much more of a tax than she had first supposed. At the start plants had seemed so much more inviting than dishes that she had appropriated the care of them at once, and now that she discovered what her selection really involved she felt almost aggrieved, and was inclined to be cross when she saw Miss Blake's tasks finished for the day while her own was scarcely more than begun.
But she realized it was much more of a burden than she had initially thought. At first, plants seemed way more appealing than dishes, so she took on their care right away, but now that she understood what her choice really entailed, she felt a bit resentful and was tempted to be upset when she saw Miss Blake's tasks were done for the day while hers had barely started.
"Provoking things!" she would declare as she dashed a double spray of water on the rubber trees that did not need it, and gave but a mere sprinkle to the blossoming azalias that did: "if I'd known what a nuisance you were I can tell you I never would have taken you! Here! will you come off, or won't you?" and she would give some wilted blossom a vicious jerk that would set the entire plant shaking in its pot as though it were trembling with distress at the rough treatment it was receiving. If Miss Blake heard her she gave no sign. Sometimes when they passed a florist's window she would stop and look wistfully in at the bewildering display, and Nan would know that she was longing to go in and buy some especially fascinating orchid or unusually rare crysanthemum. But she would not yield to her impulse, for on one occasion the girl had said with a shrug of impatience:
"Ugh, this is so annoying!" she would exclaim as she sprayed a generous amount of water on the rubber trees that didn’t need it, while only giving a light mist to the blooming azaleas that actually did: "If I’d known how much of a hassle you’d be, I swear I would have never gotten you! Come on! Are you coming off or what?" and she would yank a wilted flower so hard that the entire plant would shake in its pot, as if it were quaking from the harsh treatment. If Miss Blake heard her, she showed no reaction. Sometimes when they passed a florist's window, she would stop and gaze longingly at the stunning display, and Nan could tell she was wishing to go inside and buy some captivating orchid or an unusually rare chrysanthemum. But she wouldn’t give in to her urge, because once the girl had said with a frustrated shrug:
"For goodness' sake don't get any more. It's all I can do to attend to the bothersome things now. I wish they were all in Hong Kong—every one of them."
"For goodness' sake, don't get any more. It's all I can do to deal with the annoying things right now. I wish they were all in Hong Kong—every single one of them."

"Provoking things!"
So since then there had been no further additions to the conservatory, and Miss Blake had to check her horticultural ardor or confine it to her window-sill upstairs.
So since then there hadn’t been any more additions to the conservatory, and Miss Blake had to rein in her gardening passion or keep it to her window sill upstairs.
But the plants throve in spite of their ungracious nursing, and when she was not irritated by them Nan was very proud of the fine showing they made.
But the plants thrived despite their poor care, and when she wasn’t annoyed by them, Nan was really proud of how well they were doing.
"I think that double, white azalia is one of most beautiful things I ever saw: so pure and delicate!" said Mary Brewster to Miss Blake, hanging over it in honest admiration one leaden-skied day when she come to carry Nan off to her house to dinner and was waiting while the girl went upstairs to get ready.
"I think that double white azalea is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen: so pure and delicate!" said Mary Brewster to Miss Blake, leaning over it in genuine admiration on a gloomy day when she had come to take Nan to her house for dinner and was waiting while the girl went upstairs to get ready.
"Yes," replied the governess, "I love it! But then, I love all the dear things—even those poor woolly-leaved little primroses that have almost less charm for me than any flowers I know. I'm so glad they are all doing so well. I can't bear to bring a plant into the house and then have it die. It seems almost like murder. But now I must run away. I have an appointment with my dentist at three. It is very good of you to ask Nan to dinner to-night, and I'm doubly glad it happens as it does, for she would have to dine alone if she stayed at home, for I have to go out of town on business and cannot get back tonight. Delia will call for Nan at nine o'clock. Good-bye, and have a pleasant evening!" and she caught up her satchel and was off in a twinkling.
"Yes," replied the governess, "I love it! But then, I love all the precious things—even those poor little primroses with their woolly leaves that have almost less charm for me than any flowers I know. I'm so glad they're all doing so well. I can't stand bringing a plant into the house only to have it die. It feels almost like murder. But now I have to run. I have a dentist appointment at three. It's really nice of you to invite Nan to dinner tonight, and I'm even happier it worked out this way because she would have to eat alone if she stayed home, since I have to leave town for work and won't be back tonight. Delia will pick up Nan at nine o'clock. Goodbye, and have a great evening!" and she grabbed her bag and was off in a flash.
But after she had let herself out of the front door she came back and called Nan to the head of the stairs.
But after she stepped out through the front door, she came back and called Nan to the top of the stairs.
"It's bitterly cold," she said. "I had no idea it was so severe! Be sure you wrap up warmly, Nan, and don't forget your gloves and leggings when you come home. Oh, and the plants! You'll not fail to look after them when you get in—the last thing before you go to bed? I think it will freeze to-night, and they will need extra heat. Now, good-bye again, and God bless you!"
"It's freezing," she said. "I had no idea it was this bad! Make sure you bundle up, Nan, and don't forget your gloves and leggings when you get home. Oh, and the plants! You won't forget to take care of them when you get in—the last thing before you go to bed? I think it's going to freeze tonight, and they will need extra warmth. So, goodbye again, and take care!"
Nan waved her a vigorous adieu with the towel she held in her hand, and this time the governess was off in earnest.
Nan waved a hearty goodbye with the towel she was holding, and this time the governess left for real.
The two girls followed her out not long after, and went laughing and chatting down the street.
The two girls followed her outside shortly after, laughing and chatting as they walked down the street.
"I've asked Grace and Lu and Ruth to come in after dinner, and we're going to have a candy-pull. I didn't ask John, but I told him what was up, and he said he and Harley and Everett had been wanting to call for some time, and as I'd be sure to be in, he thought they might as well do it to-night. I told him he'd have to 'call' loud, for we'd be in the kitchen, and probably wouldn't hear him, and he said he'd see to it that we did; so I suppose we'll have them too."
"I've invited Grace, Lu, and Ruth to come over after dinner for a candy-pull. I didn’t invite John, but I mentioned it to him, and he said that he, Harley, and Everett had been wanting to come over for a while. Since I would definitely be home, he thought they might as well come tonight. I told him he’d have to make a lot of noise when they arrived since we’d be in the kitchen and probably wouldn’t hear him. He said he’d make sure we did hear him, so I guess they’ll be joining us too."
Among them all it proved a gay evening, and seemed unusually so, for of late jollifications had been rare. As Ruth said, "they were all kept on short rations to pay up for the other night."
Among them all, it turned out to be a lively evening, and it felt especially so since celebrations had been pretty rare lately. As Ruth said, "they were all on a tight budget to make up for the other night."
It appeared to Nan when Delia arrived that she had made a mistake in the hour, and had appeared at eight instead of nine; but as it happened Delia purposely delayed in order that her girl might have an extra sixty minutes, and when she pointed to the clock, whose short hand pointed to ten, Nan could only shake her head, and say: "Well, I suppose so—but it doesn't seem as if it could be."
It seemed to Nan when Delia arrived that she had gotten the time wrong and showed up at eight instead of nine. However, Delia had intentionally delayed her arrival so that her girl could have an extra hour. When she pointed to the clock, which showed the hour hand at ten, Nan could only shake her head and say, "Well, I guess so—but it just doesn't feel like it could be."
It was so cold that Delia had brought an additional wrap for her, and the girl was glad to avail herself of it when she felt the nip of the freezing air.
It was so cold that Delia had brought an extra wrap for her, and the girl was happy to use it when she felt the bite of the freezing air.
"Why, it's much worse than it was this afternoon," she said. "If this is spring, I'd just as lief have winter. I tell you what it is, Delia, it won't take me long to tumble into bed. I'm frozen stiff already. I hope you locked up before you came out, so all we'll have to do will be to go upstairs. I hate to putter about in the cold."
"Wow, it's way worse than it was this afternoon," she said. "If this is spring, I'd rather have winter. I’m telling you, Delia, I won’t take long to get into bed. I’m already freezing. I hope you locked up before you came out, so all we have to do is head upstairs. I really hate messing around in the cold."
It seemed strange to go to bed without Miss Blake's cheery "Good-night!" ringing in her ears. It was the first time the governess had spent a night away from home since she first came to the house, almost six months ago, and Nan devoutly hoped there wouldn't be a repetition of the performance in another half-year. Her empty room gave one "les homeseeks."
It felt odd to go to bed without Miss Blake's cheerful "Goodnight!" echoing in her ears. This was the first time the governess had spent a night away from home since she arrived at the house almost six months ago, and Nan sincerely hoped there wouldn't be a repeat of this situation in another six months. Her empty room gave her a sense of longing for home.
In order to forget it and to escape the cold, Nan cut short her preparations for the night and got into bed with as little delay as possible. She cuddled comfortably between her smooth sheets and soft blankets and in a moment was soundly asleep.
To forget about it and escape the cold, Nan quickly wrapped up her nighttime routine and got into bed as fast as she could. She snuggled in between her soft sheets and cozy blankets and was soon fast asleep.
When she waked the next morning it was with a vague feeling of responsibility, as though she had gone to sleep with a weight of some calamity on her heart. As she dressed she tried to recall it but there was nothing in yesterday's experience to depress her and she ran down to breakfast determined to shake off the haunting impression. But all through the meal it clung to her and she could not get rid of it. To be especially virtuous in Miss Blake's absence and show her that she was "dependable," she took the dish-washing upon herself and got through with it speedily. Then up to her room to set that in order, and then down to the conservatory to attend to the plants.
When she woke up the next morning, she felt a vague sense of responsibility, as if she had gone to sleep carrying the weight of some trouble in her heart. As she got dressed, she tried to think back to what it was, but there was nothing from the previous day that should have upset her, so she hurried down to breakfast, determined to shake off the lingering feeling. But throughout the meal, it stuck with her, and she couldn't get rid of it. To be extra responsible in Miss Blake's absence and prove that she was "dependable," she took it upon herself to do the dishwashing and finished it quickly. Then she went up to her room to tidy up, and after that, she headed down to the conservatory to take care of the plants.
It was just as this juncture that Delia heard a wild cry of distress ring through the house. She ran upstairs in a fright and found Nan standing at the threshold of the conservatory door gazing in and wringing her hands. The sight that met her eyes was a pitiful one. There was not one plant among them all that had outlived the night. The leaves of all were frozen black.
It was right at that moment that Delia heard a desperate cry echo through the house. She hurried upstairs, scared, and found Nan standing at the conservatory door, staring inside and wringing her hands. The scene before her was heartbreaking. Not a single plant had survived the night. All the leaves were frozen solid and blackened.
CHAPTER XVIII
"CHESTER NEWCOMB"
"Oh, do you think I could?" demanded Nan, eagerly.
"Oh, do you think I can?" asked Nan, excitedly.
Miss Blake considered a moment. "I don't see any reason why it might not be arranged."
Miss Blake thought for a moment. "I don't see any reason why it can't be arranged."
"It's right by the sea and Ruth says they never fuss about clothes down there. Just anything will do."
"It's right by the beach, and Ruth says they never worry about clothes down there. Just anything is fine."
The governess smiled. "Nevertheless I think you will need a couple of changes. I have sometimes been asked to visit country houses where 'anything would do,' and I've generally found that it all depends on what one understands by 'anything.'"
The governess smiled. "Still, I think you’ll need a couple of changes. I’ve sometimes been invited to country houses where 'anything would do,' and I’ve usually found that it all depends on what one means by 'anything.'"
"I can wear a shirt-waist in the morning and in the afternoon I can wear a—a—another one," announced Nan.
"I can wear a blouse in the morning and in the afternoon I can wear a—uh—different one," announced Nan.
Miss Blake laughed. "You poor child," she said, "I do believe you haven't much beside for the summer."
Miss Blake laughed. "You poor thing," she said, "I really believe you don't have much planned for the summer."
"You see," broke in Nan, shamefacedly, "Delia didn't know anything about styles and I didn't—care, and so we sort of let clothes go. It isn't because father wouldn't want me to have nice things."
"You see," interjected Nan, feeling embarrassed, "Delia didn't know anything about fashion, and I didn't—care, so we just kind of let our clothes slide. It's not because Dad wouldn't want me to have nice things."
Miss Blake took her up quickly. "I know it is not. And now we must set to work at once to get you properly provided, for you are old enough now to 'care,' not necessarily about styles, but certainly about making a creditable appearance, and I want you to have a suitable wardrobe so that you may always keep yourself tidy."
Miss Blake quickly took her up. "I know it isn’t. And now we need to get to work right away to ensure you’re properly set up, because you’re old enough now to care—not just about styles, but definitely about looking presentable. I want you to have an appropriate wardrobe so you can always keep yourself looking tidy."
It seemed to Nan that the wardrobe Miss Blake proceeded to provide for her was something more than merely "tidy." The frocks were simple, it is true, but very dainty and tasteful, and in her new interest in them and the way they were made she quite forgot to complain at the extra inch or two which the governess caused to be added to the length of the skirts.
It seemed to Nan that the wardrobe Miss Blake gave her was more than just "neat." The dresses were simple, true, but they were also very delicate and stylish. In her newfound interest in them and how they were made, she completely forgot to complain about the extra inch or two the governess had added to the length of the skirts.
There had been some stormy scenes when the winter dresses were being made, Nan insisting that she would not wear "such horrid dangling things that were forever getting in her way." She wanted her skirts made short, and if she couldn't have her skirts made short, etc.
There had been some heated arguments when the winter dresses were being made, Nan insisting that she wouldn’t wear "such awful dangling things that were always getting in her way." She wanted her skirts to be short, and if she couldn’t have her skirts short, etc.
The skirts had not been made short, and these were even longer. Clad in them Nan looked very tall and womanly, and Delia realized for the first time that her "baby" had ceased to be a little girl.
The skirts weren’t made short, and these were even longer. Dressed in them, Nan looked very tall and womanly, and Delia realized for the first time that her "baby" had stopped being a little girl.
So at last the preparations were completed and the girl started off to spend a fortnight with Ruth at the Andrews' beautiful summer home by the sea. Then came gay times. Early morning dips in the surf; clam-bakes on the beach; long, lazy hours spent on the veranda, when the day was too warm for exercise, and when it was cooler, fine spins along the hard, white sand, for miles beside the shimmering sea.
So finally, the preparations were finished, and the girl set off to spend two weeks with Ruth at the Andrews' beautiful summer house by the sea. Then the fun began. Early morning swims in the waves, clam bakes on the beach, long, relaxing hours on the porch when it was too hot for anything active, and when it was cooler, nice rides along the hard, white sand for miles beside the sparkling sea.
Nan grew as brown as an Indian, for she scorned shade-hats, and oftenest had nothing on her head at all but her own thick thatch of riotous brown hair.
Nan grew as brown as an Indian because she rejected shade hats, and most of the time, she had nothing on her head except her own thick, wild brown hair.
Ruth's brother taught Nan to swim, and she entered into it with so much zest that to his surprise he found his only difficulty lay in trying to restrain her. Nothing seemed to daunt her, and whatever any one else did she immediately wanted to try.
Ruth's brother taught Nan how to swim, and she approached it with such enthusiasm that, to his surprise, he realized his only challenge was trying to hold her back. Nothing seemed to intimidate her, and as soon as she saw someone else do something, she instantly wanted to give it a go herself.
"The fact of the matter is," young Mr. Andrews declared one day, "you ought to have been a boy. You'd make a capital fellow."
"The truth is," young Mr. Andrews said one day, "you should have been a boy. You'd make a great guy."
"I know it," admitted Nan, frankly. "I love boys' sports and pranks, and to think that all my life I've just got to 'sit on a cushion and sew up a seam.' It's perfectly awful."
"I know it," Nan admitted honestly. "I love boys' sports and pranks, and to think that my whole life I've just got to 'sit on a cushion and sew up a seam.' It's just terrible."
"Fancy!" exclaimed Miss Webster, a fellow-guest, and a young lady whom, by the way, Nan regarded with a good deal of disdain, because she seemed what John Gardiner called "girly-girly," and was flirtatious. "Fancy! Why, I wouldn't be a man for anything in the world! Just think what hideous clothes they wear."
"Unbelievable!" exclaimed Miss Webster, a fellow guest and a young woman whom, by the way, Nan looked down on a bit because she seemed what John Gardiner called "girly-girly" and was flirtatious. "Unbelievable! Honestly, I wouldn’t want to be a man for anything! Just think about the awful clothes they wear."
"Thank you, Miss Webster," retorted Mr. Andrews with mock solemnity.
"Thanks, Miss Webster," Mr. Andrews replied with a fake serious tone.
"Oh, I didn't mean you," she returned with an emphasis and a soft glance of the eyes. "You really dress extremely well. I adore your neck-ties and your boots are dreams."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about you," she replied with emphasis and a gentle look in her eyes. "You really have great style. I love your neckties, and your boots are amazing."
Helen Andrews tried to hide a scowl of irritation. Alice Webster was her friend, and she disliked having her display herself in her worst light. She knew her to be a warm-hearted, honorable girl whose gravest fault, which, after all, might be only a foible, was her tendency to turn coquettish when she was in the society of gentlemen.
Helen Andrews tried to hide her annoyed expression. Alice Webster was her friend, and she didn’t like seeing her act in such an unflattering way. She knew Alice was a kind-hearted, honorable girl, and her biggest flaw, which might just be a minor quirk, was her habit of acting flirtatious around men.
Ruth rose and beckoned Nan to follow her.
Ruth stood up and signaled for Nan to come with her.
"Isn't she a lunatic?" she demanded, as soon as they were out of ear-shot.
"Isn't she crazy?" she asked, as soon as they were out of earshot.
"Perfect idiot!" responded Nan. "I should think your brother would just duck her in the water some fine day when she's making those sheep's eyes at him. I would if I were in his place."
"Perfect idiot!" replied Nan. "I would think your brother would just dunk her in the water one of these days when she's giving him those flirty looks. I know I would if I were him."
"Oh, he doesn't care. He thinks she's lots of fun. Besides, he's going away to-morrow, and won't see her again unless Helen makes her stay longer."
"Oh, he doesn't care. He thinks she's a lot of fun. Plus, he's leaving tomorrow and won't see her again unless Helen convinces her to stay longer."
"What'll she do for some one to make eyes at?"
"What will she do for someone to flirt with?"
"Don't know. Helen generally has a lot of company, but just now there seems to be a famine in the land!"
"Don't know. Helen usually has a lot of visitors, but right now it seems like there's a shortage!"
Suddenly Nan stood stock still.
Suddenly, Nan froze.
"What's the matter?" demanded Ruth.
"What's wrong?" demanded Ruth.
Nan waited a moment, and then bent over and whispered something in her ear.
Nan waited a moment, then leaned in and whispered something in her ear.
"Magnificent! We'll do it!" cried Ruth, clapping her hands, and breaking into a peal of laughter.
"Awesome! We'll do it!" shouted Ruth, clapping her hands and bursting into laughter.
"Not to-night—while your brother is here!" protested Nan.
"Not tonight—while your brother is here!" Nan protested.
"Of course not. To-morrow though, sure. Carl will be gone and the coast clear, and meanwhile we'll drill."
"Of course not. Tomorrow for sure. Carl will be gone and the coast will be clear, and in the meantime, we'll practice."
For the remainder of the day the girls were absorbed in something which took them to their room and kept them there, and they only appeared when dinner was announced, and the family already seated at the table.
For the rest of the day, the girls were caught up in something that took them to their room and kept them there. They only showed up when dinner was announced, and the family was already seated at the table.
"Well, Miss Nan," Carl Andrews exclaimed, "I wish you were a boy, and I'd take you up into the mountains with me and teach you how to handle a gun."
"Well, Miss Nan," Carl Andrews said, "I wish you were a boy, and I’d take you into the mountains with me and teach you how to handle a gun."
"What fun!" cried Nan.
"How fun!" cried Nan.
"Yes, it would be great sport, and I warrant you'd like camp-life, too. It's just the sort of thing that you'd enjoy. Only I'm afraid it would agree with you so well that you would grow an inch a week, and considering you are a girl you'd better not get any taller."
"Yeah, it would be a lot of fun, and I bet you'd enjoy camping life, too. It's exactly the kind of thing you'd like. But I'm worried it would suit you so well that you'd grow an inch a week, and since you're a girl, it'd be better if you didn't get any taller."
"O dear! Don't say that," groaned Nan, "for I probably shall grow lots more as it is. You see I'm not quite sixteen yet. Do people ever get their growth before they are sixteen, Mrs. Andrews?"
"O dear! Don't say that," groaned Nan, "because I’ll probably grow a lot more as it is. You see, I'm not quite sixteen yet. Do people ever finish growing before they turn sixteen, Mrs. Andrews?"
"Oh, sometimes," replied the lady kindly. "I scarcely think you will grow any more, my dear. But I wouldn't worry about it in any case if I were you."
"Oh, sometimes," replied the lady kindly. "I don’t think you’ll grow any more, my dear. But I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you."
"But I don't want to tower over everybody," wailed the girl. "Just think, I'm head and shoulders above Miss Blake now!"
"But I don't want to stand out from everyone," the girl complained. "Just think, I'm way taller than Miss Blake now!"
"But Miss Blake is a 'pocket Venus!' Just as high as one's heart," said Carl Andrews. "I took her home the other night and she barely reached to my shoulder."
"But Miss Blake is a 'pocket Venus!' She's just as high as one's heart," said Carl Andrews. "I took her home the other night and she barely reached my shoulder."
"Then you and Nan must be about the same height!" said Helen.
"Then you and Nan must be about the same height!" Helen said.
Nan made a grimace.
Nan grimaced.
"Good rye grows high!" quoted Miss Webster, good-naturedly. And then the elder Mr. Andrews, who was a little deaf, began to talk about the crops, probably thinking they had been discussing grain, since he heard the word "rye."
"Good rye grows tall!" Miss Webster said with a friendly smile. Then the older Mr. Andrews, who was a bit hard of hearing, started talking about the crops, probably thinking they had been discussing grains, since he had caught the word "rye."
Early the next morning Carl Andrews started off, and the family waved him a vigorous good-bye from the veranda steps, and after he had gone the different members of the household went about their own particular business, and did not meet again until luncheon-time.
Early the next morning, Carl Andrews set off, and the family waved him a lively goodbye from the porch steps. After he left, the various members of the household went about their own tasks and didn’t come together again until lunchtime.
It proved an unusually warm day, and when evening came the young people were glad to sit quietly on the veranda in the dark and enjoy the heartening breeze that swept up from the sea. Mr. and Mrs. Andrews had gone, as was their custom, out driving immediately after dinner, and so the four girls were left to themselves. They were just laughing over Ruth's description of one of Nan's exploits when the maid appeared bearing a letter on a salver.
It was an unusually warm day, and when evening came, the young people were happy to sit quietly on the porch in the dark and enjoy the refreshing breeze coming in from the sea. Mr. and Mrs. Andrews had gone out for a drive right after dinner, as they usually did, leaving the four girls to themselves. They were just laughing over Ruth's story about one of Nan's adventures when the maid showed up with a letter on a tray.
"For Miss Cutler," she said, and handed it to Nan.
"For Miss Cutler," she said, and gave it to Nan.
The girl excused herself and hastened indoors to read it. A moment later she called to Ruth.
The girl excused herself and rushed inside to read it. A moment later, she called out to Ruth.
"It may be news from home," surmised Helen. "I hope it's nothing serious. Her father is away; has been for two years or more. I believe they expect him home this fall," and then she and Alice fell to talking of other things and Helen was just wishing Carl could see her friend in this mood, and know how womanly and sensible she could be when suddenly they both stopped talking at the sight of a man's figure coming up the long pathway from the outer road.
"It might be some news from home," Helen guessed. "I hope it's nothing serious. Her dad has been away for over two years now. I think they expect him back this fall," and then she and Alice started chatting about other things. Helen was just wishing Carl could see her friend like this and realize how mature and sensible she could be when they both suddenly stopped talking at the sight of a man coming up the long path from the outer road.
"Who can it be?" whispered Helen.
"Who could it be?" whispered Helen.
"A tramp?" suggested Miss Webster.
"A homeless person?" suggested Miss Webster.
"No. A tramp wouldn't come straight up to the house. It must be a caller; possibly a friend of Carl's," murmured Helen.
"No. A bum wouldn't just walk up to the house. It must be someone visiting; maybe a friend of Carl's," Helen whispered.
The stranger came directly toward the veranda, but at the steps he paused a moment as though embarrassed at sight of the two girls unexpectedly rising to meet him from out of the shadow.
The stranger walked straight toward the porch but stopped briefly at the steps, seeming a bit awkward when he noticed the two girls unexpectedly getting up to greet him from the shadows.
"Is Mr. Andrews in?" he asked, in a low, shy voice, and Helen said she was sorry, but neither her father nor brother were at home. To which did he refer?
"Is Mr. Andrews around?" he asked, in a quiet, shy voice, and Helen said she was sorry, but neither her dad nor brother were home. Which one was he talking about?
"To Mr. Carl Andrews," and then it was explained that he and Mr. Carl Andrews were great chums. They—
"To Mr. Carl Andrews," and then it was explained that he and Mr. Carl Andrews were close friends. They—
"Won't you take a seat," asked Helen, hospitably, and he accepted at once while she introduced Miss Webster and herself and he gave his name as Chester Newcomb.
"Would you like to take a seat?" Helen asked warmly, and he quickly agreed as she introduced Miss Webster and herself, and he shared his name as Chester Newcomb.
"Oh, yes; I've often heard Carl speak of you," declared Helen, and then she had to excuse herself to answer Ruth who was calling to her vociferously from upstairs.
"Oh, yes; I’ve often heard Carl talk about you," Helen said, then she had to excuse herself to answer Ruth, who was shouting for her from upstairs.
"I'm afraid Nan has had bad news," she said, anxiously. "Excuse me, please. I'll go and see what she wants and be back directly."
"I'm afraid Nan has gotten some bad news," she said nervously. "Excuse me for a moment. I'll go check on her and be right back."
Mr. Newcomb and Miss Webster fell at once into an easy chat. That is, Miss Webster did. She rattled on in her least attractive manner, and became so absorbed that she only noticed how long Helen had been absent when Mr. Newcomb rose to go and she had not yet returned.
Mr. Newcomb and Miss Webster quickly started chatting comfortably. Well, that was mostly Miss Webster. She talked a lot in a way that wasn't very appealing, and got so caught up in her conversation that she only realized how long Helen had been gone when Mr. Newcomb got up to leave and she still hadn't come back.
"Pray don't call her," he entreated. "She probably is very much engaged. I—I am spending a couple of weeks here and shall be charmed to come again if I may."
"Please don't call her," he begged. "She’s probably really busy. I—I’m spending a couple of weeks here and would love to come by again if that's okay."
Miss Webster could only in turn assure him that she—that Helen and she would also be charmed, and then he bowed himself off, striding down the path with a free, somewhat boyish swing, and disappearing at length in the shadow of the shrubbery.
Miss Webster could only assure him that she—and Helen as well—would also be delighted, and then he bowed and walked away, striding down the path with a carefree, somewhat youthful energy, eventually disappearing into the shadows of the bushes.
He came frequently after that and the girls began to chaff Miss Webster about her "conquest" for he never seemed to care to come when the rest were about, but chose such times for his calls when he and Alice could stroll in the garden after dusk or sit and watch the sea and the stars from the shadow of the broad veranda.
He started coming around often after that, and the girls began to tease Miss Webster about her "conquest" since he never seemed to want to visit when the others were around. Instead, he chose times for his visits when he and Alice could walk in the garden after dark or sit and watch the sea and the stars from the shade of the wide veranda.
It was very romantic and Miss Webster wore a dreamy, rapt expression nowadays that sent Nan and Ruth off into fits of laughter when they were out of the range of her eyes and ears.
It was really romantic, and Miss Webster had a dreamy, captivated look that would send Nan and Ruth into fits of laughter whenever they were out of her sight and hearing.
"What a pity it is he can't be here to see?" gasped Ruth.
"What a shame he can't be here to see?" gasped Ruth.
"Oh, he sees enough, never you fear," Nan assured her. "When one casts sheep's eyes like that they hit even in the dark! Poor thing! She is such a goose. Last night when he told her he was going to-morrow she grew quite tragic and—"
"Oh, he sees plenty, don't worry," Nan assured her. "When someone gives those longing looks, they notice even in the dark! Poor thing! She's such a fool. Last night when he told her he was leaving tomorrow, she got really dramatic and—"
"O Nan! How could you listen?" cried Ruth in a shocked voice but immediately after going into another spasm of laughter.
"O Nan! How could you listen?" Ruth exclaimed in a shocked tone, but she quickly erupted into another fit of laughter.
"She quotes Shakespeare at him," gasped Nan, convulsed with mirth, and not a bit abashed. "You ought to hear. It's rich!"
"She quotes Shakespeare to him," gasped Nan, laughing uncontrollably and not the slightest bit embarrassed. "You have to hear it. It's hilarious!"
"Well, we must see that the coast is clear to-night for I s'pose she will be particularly touching, and Helen is getting awfully hard to manage. It wouldn't do to interrupt them at the last minute just when he was getting pathetic maybe. I wonder what he'll do?"
"Well, we need to make sure the coast is clear tonight because I think she’ll be especially emotional, and Helen is becoming really difficult to handle. It wouldn’t be right to interrupt them at the last moment when he might be getting sentimental. I wonder what he’ll do?"
"He'll be real dignified," declared Nan, solemnly. "You wait. He'll be eloquent even if he is 'only a boy' as she says."
"He'll be really dignified," Nan said seriously. "Just wait. He'll be eloquent even if he is 'just a boy,' like she says."
So the two girls disappeared utterly after dinner, and when Mr. Newcomb arrived he found Miss Webster quite alone, for Helen also was nowhere to be seen.
So the two girls completely disappeared after dinner, and when Mr. Newcomb arrived, he found Miss Webster all alone, because Helen was also nowhere to be found.
"She hasn't been very well lately," Miss Webster explained. "She looks terribly pale and anxious and I'm afraid she has something on her mind. Her headaches worry me!" and then she fell back into her poor, little artificial manner again and sighed and looked sentimental and was altogether "idiotic" as Nan would have said, and their two low-pitched voices could be heard murmuring away in the stillness until poor Helen, who was really half sick with a nervous headache upstairs, could have cried with irritation and pain.
"She hasn't been feeling great lately," Miss Webster said. "She looks really pale and anxious, and I'm worried she has something troubling her. Her headaches make me anxious!" Then she slipped back into her sad, fake demeanor and sighed, looking all sentimental and, as Nan would put it, totally "ridiculous." Their two soft voices could be heard whispering in the quiet, which made poor Helen, who was actually feeling quite unwell with a nervous headache upstairs, want to cry out of frustration and pain.
She sat up on the bed when Ruth came into the room, and attacked her at once.
She sat up on the bed as soon as Ruth walked into the room and confronted her right away.
"I can't stand it another minute. It's driving me wild!"
"I can't take it any longer. It's driving me insane!"
"Hush! It's only to-night. This is the last time. Don't make a scene!" pleaded Ruth.
"Hush! It's only tonight. This is the last time. Don't make a scene!" pleaded Ruth.
"I'll never get over it," wailed Helen. "It simply is the most detestable thing I ever knew. In our own house too! If this weren't the last time I—"
"I'll never get over it," cried Helen. "It's just the most terrible thing I’ve ever experienced. In our own house too! If this weren’t the last time I—"
What she would do was never discovered for just at that moment a shrill scream ran through the night, followed by the exclamation in a familiar voice:
What she would do was never found out because at that moment a piercing scream cut through the night, followed by an exclamation from a familiar voice:
"Great Scott! My wig!"
"Wow! My wig!"
And Ruth and Helen rushed below to find Miss Webster in a state of collapse on one of the veranda settees and Nan standing over her, clad in complete male attire, and fanning her frantically with a curly, blonde wig which she wrenched by force from the trellis where it had inadvertently caught.
And Ruth and Helen hurried downstairs to find Miss Webster collapsed on one of the porch couches, with Nan standing over her, dressed in full male attire, desperately fanning her with a curly blonde wig that she had yanked off the trellis where it had accidentally gotten stuck.
"I was just leaning back and being beautiful, and it got hooked on a wire or something, and when I went to get up it stayed there and gave me away!" she promptly explained.
"I was just lounging around and looking beautiful, and it got caught on a wire or something, and when I tried to get up, it got stuck and exposed me!" she quickly explained.
Then there was a scene.
Then there was a moment.
Miss Webster wept! Nan lamented! Ruth laughed, and Helen scolded, and no one heard a word any one else was saying.
Miss Webster cried! Nan complained! Ruth laughed, and Helen scolded, and no one heard what anyone else was saying.
But after a time every one grew calmer.
But after a while, everyone became calmer.
"O Helen! I've made such a fool of myself," cried Alice abjectly. "How can you ever respect me again?"
"O Helen! I've made a complete fool of myself," Alice said, feeling humiliated. "How could you ever respect me again?"
"Respect you? Think of me!" sobbed Helen. "Can you ever forgive me for knowing it all this time and letting it go on? Nan, you wretched girl, come here this minute and beg Miss Webster's pardon. Ruth Andrews, this is your work, Miss! See what you have done, and in your own house, too!"
"Respect you? Think about me!" Helen cried. "Can you ever forgive me for knowing all this time and allowing it to continue? Nan, you awful girl, come here right now and apologize to Miss Webster. Ruth Andrews, this is your doing, Miss! Look at what you've caused, and in your own home, too!"
But at this time Alice surprised them all. She put a gentle hand on Helen's arm and said quite simply, and with a touching dignity:
But at that moment, Alice surprised everyone. She gently placed her hand on Helen's arm and said, quite simply and with a heartfelt dignity:
"Please don't ask anybody to beg my pardon. I deserved the lesson! The girls needn't say a word. I—I—I am a goose, but I'll really try to be better, and the kindest thing they can do is never to refer to it again."
"Please don't ask anyone to apologize to me. I deserved the lesson! The girls don’t need to say anything. I—I—I am an idiot, but I’ll really try to do better, and the kindest thing they can do is never bring it up again."
The rare tears sprang to Nan's eyes, and she grasped Miss Webster's hand in a grip that hurt.
The rare tears welled up in Nan's eyes, and she grabbed Miss Webster's hand with a grip that was quite painful.
"You're downright fine!" she said, "and I'll never forget you as long as I live."
"You're really great!" she said, "and I'll never forget you for as long as I live."
And then she had to beat a hasty retreat to escape Mr. Andrews and his wife, who were just driving up to the door.
And then she had to make a quick getaway to avoid Mr. Andrews and his wife, who were just pulling up to the door.
But the secret leaked out, and she and Ruth were reprimanded sharply by Mrs. Andrews who, for once in her life, turned severe and called them sternly to account, and it was Alice Webster herself who interceded for them, and begged that everything be forgiven and forgotten.
But the secret got out, and she and Ruth were harshly scolded by Mrs. Andrews, who, for once, was serious and held them accountable. It was Alice Webster herself who stepped in for them and asked that everything be forgiven and forgotten.
They were her devoted slaves after that, and Nan, whose fortnight had been extended, at the Andrews' request, to a month, took especial delight in fetching and carrying for her to the close of her stay, and in every possible manner making her feel how sincerely she regarded and respected her.
They became her dedicated helpers after that, and Nan, whose two-week stay had been extended to a month at the Andrews' request, took particular pleasure in running errands for her until the end of her visit, and in every way possible making her feel how genuinely she admired and respected her.
As for Miss Webster, she seemed like another girl. In fact, Carl Andrews declared that he had never known what a "good sort" she was and said he was mighty glad they had prevailed upon her to stay.
As for Miss Webster, she felt like a completely different person. In fact, Carl Andrews said he had never realized what a "great person" she was and mentioned he was really glad they convinced her to stay.
He never knew why the mere mention of his friend, Chester Newcomb's name should cause such a convulsion in the household, and when that gentleman finally arrived, and the family met him for the first time, it certainly seemed strange that they should all redden and stammer as if they had been "awkward nursery children appearing at dinner."
He never understood why just saying his friend Chester Newcomb's name would cause such a stir in the house, and when that guy finally showed up and the family met him for the first time, it definitely felt odd that they all turned red and stumbled over their words like they were "awkward kids at a dinner party."
Nan especially could not be induced to have anything to say when he was near, and when Carl discovered this he took a mischievous delight in forcing her into his company and watching her try to "squirm" out of it again. Miss Webster took pity on her and in the simplest, most natural way came to her rescue whenever she was being victimized, and by and by it became apparent even to Carl himself that "Ches and Miss Webster hit it off first-rate."
Nan especially wouldn’t say anything when he was around, and when Carl noticed this, he took a playful pleasure in dragging her into his company and watching her try to "squirm" away from it. Miss Webster took pity on her and, in the simplest, most natural way, came to her rescue whenever she was being picked on. Eventually, it became clear even to Carl that "Ches and Miss Webster got along great."
But at last Nan's visit really drew to a close, and, in spite of her reluctance at leaving these good friends, she felt satisfied to go home—she did not stop to ask herself why.
But finally, Nan's visit came to an end, and even though she was hesitant to leave her good friends, she felt content to go home—she didn't take the time to question why.
Town seemed very stuffy and tame after the freedom of the country and the sea, but when Miss Blake asked her if she would like to go away again she replied: "Not alone," and then blushed shamefacedly and tried to change the subject.
Town felt really stuffy and boring after the freedom of the countryside and the ocean, but when Miss Blake asked her if she wanted to leave again, she replied, "Not alone," then blushed with embarrassment and tried to change the subject.
While she was gone the governess had committed an extravagance. She had bought a new bicycle.
While she was away, the governess had splurged. She had bought a new bike.
"What under the sun did you do that for?" demanded Nan. "Your other was a beauty and as good as new."
"What on earth did you do that for?" asked Nan. "Your other one was beautiful and practically brand new."
"But it wasn't new," suggested Miss Blake, lamely.
"But it wasn't new," Miss Blake suggested weakly.
"Pooh!" sniffed Nan.
"Pooh!" sniffed Nan.
"I wanted this year's model."
"I wanted this year's model."
"Oh, very well! If you can be as particular as all that! How much did they allow you on the other machine? I hope you made a good bargain," said Nan.
"Oh, fine! If you want to be that specific! How much did they give you on the other machine? I hope you got a good deal," said Nan.
"I didn't let them have the other machine," hesitated Miss Blake. "It didn't seem worth while. Besides I may want to use it myself sometimes. Won't you come down and see the new one?"
"I didn’t let them take the other machine,” Miss Blake hesitated. “It didn’t seem worth it. Plus, I might want to use it myself sometimes. Will you come down and check out the new one?"
Of course Nan did not delay, and she went into raptures over the beautiful wheel, praising it generously as she examined every point with the eye of a connoisseur.
Of course, Nan didn't waste any time, and she was thrilled with the beautiful wheel, enthusiastically praising it as she looked at every detail like an expert.
"But it seems to me a pretty high frame!" she speculated, standing off and taking it in from a distance.
"But it looks to me like a pretty tall frame!" she wondered, stepping back and looking at it from afar.
"I wanted a high frame," responded Miss Blake.
"I wanted a high frame," Miss Blake said.
"Seems to me pretty well up in the air for you, even with the saddle down," insisted Nan, doubtfully.
"Looks to me like you're still pretty unsteady, even with the saddle down," Nan insisted, sounding uncertain.
"You try it," suggested the governess. "If it suits you it will certainly be too high for me."
"You give it a shot," suggested the governess. "If it works for you, it’s definitely going to be too much for me."
"It does suit me," announced Nan, balancing herself by a hand against the wall. "You'd better send it back and get a lower frame."
"It works for me," Nan said, steadying herself by placing a hand on the wall. "You should send it back and get a shorter frame."
But Miss Blake shook her head.
But Miss Blake shook her head.
"No, I like this and I'm going to keep it. But of course if it is too high I can't use it, and so—so—I'm afraid you'll have to, Nan. You won't mind, will you? I mean getting your birthday present this way ahead of time? I thought if we waited you'd lose the whole summer."
"No, I really like this, and I’m going to keep it. But of course, if it’s too high, I can’t use it, so—so—I’m afraid you’ll have to, Nan. You won’t mind, right? I mean, getting your birthday present this way ahead of time? I thought if we waited, you’d miss out on the whole summer."
Nan flung herself from the wheel in a rapture of surprise. It seemed too good to be true. She could not believe it. Miss Blake had her thanks more in the girl's radiant delight than in the mere words she spoke, though these were genuine enough and full enough of gratitude.
Nan leaped away from the wheel in a burst of surprise. It felt too good to be real. She couldn't wrap her head around it. Miss Blake received her thanks more from the girl's shining joy than from the words she spoke, although those words were sincere and filled with gratitude.
All through the long season after that, whenever the heat was not too intense, Nan and her wheel could have been seen flashing through the Park or taking a well-earned rest in the cool shadow of the Dairy porch, where a sip of water seemed sweeter than ambrosia and a fugitive breeze more aromatic than any zephyr from Araby the blest.
All through the long season after that, whenever the heat wasn't too intense, Nan and her wheel could be seen speeding through the Park or taking a well-deserved break in the cool shade of the Dairy porch, where a sip of water felt sweeter than nectar and a light breeze was more refreshing than any wind from the blessed land of Arabia.
Sometimes she and Miss Blake took longer trips into the country, and then the governess had to be constant in her warnings to her against her reckless fashion of riding. Again and again she spoke, and Nan always meant to take heed and then always forgot, and fell back into her old way once more.
Sometimes she and Miss Blake went on longer trips to the countryside, and then the governess had to keep reminding her about her reckless way of riding. Again and again she spoke, and Nan always intended to listen but then always forgot and slipped back into her old habits once more.
"I can't resist such a coast as that was," she would plead. "And if I got off for every old man who thinks he has the right to the road I'd be dismounting all the while."
"I can't resist a coast like that," she would argue. "And if I got off for every old man who thinks he has the right to the road, I'd be getting off all the time."
"I beg you not to take such risks," Miss Blake would rejoin. "It simply spoils my ride for me, Nan, to see you so reckless. Such head-long wheeling has nothing to recommend it. It is neither expert nor admirable. When you fling along so blindly you are merely doing a foolish, heedless thing and running serious risks. I am sure you will come to grief some day."
"I really urge you not to take those kinds of risks," Miss Blake would respond. "It just ruins my ride to see you so reckless, Nan. Riding like that has no benefits. It's neither skilled nor commendable. When you zoom around without thinking, you're just being foolish and putting yourself in serious danger. I know you'll end up injured someday."
"Don't you worry! I am as much at home in my saddle as I would be in a rocking-chair. See me ride without touching the handle-bars!"
"Don't worry! I'm just as comfortable in my saddle as I would be in a rocking chair. Watch me ride without even touching the handlebars!"
And presently she would lose all recollection of her good resolve, and go hurling on at a break-neck speed in the van of some skittish horse, or slowly zig-zag ahead in the path of some stolid coachman, causing him to anathematize all wheelmen in general and this especially provoking specimen in particular, while her watching companion held her breath in trembling alarm.
And soon she would forget her good intentions and speed ahead with reckless abandon in front of some nervous horse, or slowly weave her way in front of a slow coachman, making him curse all cyclists in general and this especially annoying one in particular, while her watching friend held her breath in nervous anxiety.
At last Miss Blake told Nan decidedly that unless she were willing to ride properly she must give it up altogether.
At last, Miss Blake firmly told Nan that unless she was willing to ride correctly, she would have to quit completely.
"I cannot stand this strain any longer," she said, in real distress.
"I can't take this pressure anymore," she said, genuinely upset.
She and Mrs. Newton and the girl herself were taking their first ride in company since the early summer. Now it was autumn, and the leaves were turning. Mrs. Newton had just come back from the country, and Nan was eager to display her skill, which she felt had improved not a little since their neighbor's departure.
She, Mrs. Newton, and the girl were taking their first ride together since early summer. Now it was autumn, and the leaves were changing colors. Mrs. Newton had just returned from the countryside, and Nan was excited to show off her riding skills, which she felt had definitely improved since their neighbor had left.
The fresh wind, keen and bracing as it came from the sea, filled her with a sense of new strength and energy, and she felt the effect of the invigorating atmosphere in her blood. A scent of burning leaves was in the air, and the indescribable suggestion of coming winter gayety. To-day the road was crowded with carriages. They thronged the fashionable drive, and lent it a peculiarly animated aspect. Equestrians and wheelmen were also out in full force, and the presence of so many people set Nan's blood tingling with excitement. She tossed her head back, as the governess uttered her decision, with the impatience of a mettlesome horse.
The fresh wind, sharp and refreshing as it blew in from the sea, filled her with a sense of new strength and energy, and she could feel the invigorating atmosphere coursing through her veins. A scent of burning leaves hung in the air, along with an indescribable hint of the upcoming winter festivities. Today, the road was packed with carriages. They filled the fashionable drive, giving it a particularly lively feel. Riders and cyclists were out in full force, and the presence of so many people made Nan's blood race with excitement. She threw her head back, just like a spirited horse, as the governess announced her decision, filled with impatience.
"Now remember!" warned Miss Blake.
"Remember this!" warned Miss Blake.
Perhaps it was just this extra little warning that proved too much for Nan's overcharged, headstrong spirit—or perhaps she did not hear in the midst of the noise of hoofs and wheels about them.
Perhaps it was this final little warning that was too much for Nan's intense, stubborn nature—or maybe she simply couldn’t hear it over the sound of hoofs and wheels around them.
They were spinning noiselessly along the outer edge of the driveway leading from the Park entrance to the cycle path, when suddenly Nan gave a quick run forward and then made a swift dart for the other side, weaving perilously in and out among the horses and moving vehicles, dexterously dodging, veering, and turning until Miss Blake's heart throbbed thickly from dread and her pulses beat heavily in her temples.
They were gliding silently along the outer edge of the driveway leading from the park entrance to the bike path when suddenly Nan took off running and quickly dashed to the other side, weaving dangerously in and out among the horses and moving vehicles, skillfully dodging, swerving, and turning until Miss Blake's heart raced with fear and she felt heavy pulses in her temples.
"I must overtake her," she cried to her companion. "She will be killed! I must save her!"
"I have to catch up to her," she shouted to her friend. "She'll get hurt! I have to save her!"
Even as she spoke her breath caught in a short gasp, and she turned suddenly rigid and ashen white.
Even as she spoke, her breath caught in a short gasp, and she suddenly went rigid and turned ashen white.
Coming up the road at full speed was a horse, whose driver, sitting close over its haunches in his narrow sulky, was racing his animal against one similarly driven and urging it on to its utmost pace for winning honor.
Coming up the road at full speed was a horse, whose driver, sitting tight over its hindquarters in his small cart, was racing his horse against another one driven the same way, pushing it to its limits to win glory.
At his approach a clear path was made for him by the turning right and left of the throng—by all save Nan.
At his approach, a clear path opened up for him as the crowd shifted to the right and left—everyone except Nan.
She heard a man's voice shout hoarsely to her. The oncoming horse had the speed of a racer.
She heard a man shout at her in a hoarse voice. The approaching horse was racing fast.
A spirit of mad defiance possessed her. She steered straight as an arrow before her. Then, like a flash, she veered, dodging from under the horse's very nose. She had accomplished her feat very cleverly.
A wild spirit of rebellion took over her. She drove forward like an arrow. Then, in an instant, she swerved, escaping just in time from right under the horse's nose. She pulled off her stunt with impressive skill.
But alas, for Nan!
But alas, for Nan!
Even as she sped on, full of the exquisite thrill of exultation in her own prowess she heard behind her the sound of a dull, fear-thickened cry. Then a sudden confusion of voices and the cessation of rolling wheels. She stopped and turned.
Even as she sped on, filled with the amazing thrill of pride in her own skills, she heard behind her a dull, fear-laden scream. Then, a sudden mix of voices and the stopping of rolling wheels. She halted and turned.
The onward sweep of the mass of vehicles had been instantaneously checked. The road was clear for some rods before her and in the centre of this open space lay—a broken bicycle.
The forward movement of the group of vehicles came to a sudden halt. The road was clear for a few yards ahead of her, and right in the middle of this open area was a broken bicycle.
A little group of men crowded close about some central object on the ground. Women were wringing their hands and weeping hysterically, and one woman—it was Mrs. Newton—was crying wildly,
A small group of men huddled around something on the ground. Women were wringing their hands and crying uncontrollably, and one woman—it was Mrs. Newton—was screaming in distress,
"Let me go to her! Let me go!"
"Let me go to her! Let me go!"
The circle of men upon the ground made way, and then Nan saw what it was around which they knelt.
The group of men on the ground moved aside, and then Nan saw what they were kneeling around.
She gave a quick, fierce cry of pain. The little governess lay quite still and motionless. Her eyes were closed; her face was white as marble. All her bright hair was lying loose about her temples—and it was streaked with blood.
She let out a sharp, intense cry of pain. The young governess lay completely still. Her eyes were shut; her face was pale as marble. Her vibrant hair was spread loosely around her temples—and it was stained with blood.
CHAPTER XIX
IN MISS BLAKE'S ROOM
Nan never forgot that scene. It seemed to her afterward, that even in the midst of the horror that almost stupefied her and made her blind, it had been indelibly photographed upon her brain to the merest detail with torturing distinctness.
Nan never forgot that scene. It seemed to her later that even in the middle of the horror that nearly left her numb and blinded, it had been etched in her memory with excruciating clarity.
She could see Mrs. Newton's drawn, livid face, and the stern, set expression of the men who gathered about in knots here and there discussing the accident in whispers, or arranging the best means of getting back to town. A doctor, who happened to be near at hand, had sprung forward at the first moment of alarm, and he and a strange, kind-faced woman were together bending over the prostrate form between them, while over all arched the high dome of the blue October sky, beyond them stretched the level road, narrowing in the distance to a point that seemed to pierce the sea, and on either side spread the branches of bordering maple trees, each shining brilliant and gorgeous In the autumn sunlight.
She could see Mrs. Newton's pale, angry face, and the serious, tense expressions of the men who stood in small groups here and there, quietly discussing the accident or figuring out the best way to get back to town. A doctor, who happened to be nearby, rushed forward at the first sign of trouble, and he and a kind-looking woman were leaning over the fallen person between them, while above them loomed the vast blue sky of October. In the distance, the straight road stretched out, narrowing to a point that seemed to lead right into the sea, with maple trees lining both sides, their leaves shining brightly in the autumn sunlight.
Presently, in response to a demand from the doctor, a low-hung carriage drew out from the ranks of waiting vehicles, and into it was lifted, oh, so carefully! the inert form of the governess, and her head laid upon Mrs. Newton's lap.
Currently, in response to a request from the doctor, a low-slung carriage pulled away from the line of waiting vehicles, and into it was gently lifted, oh, so carefully! the lifeless body of the governess, with her head resting on Mrs. Newton's lap.
Nan pressed close to the wheels.
Nan pressed close to the wheels.
"Can't I go with her?" she whispered.
"Can’t I go with her?" she whispered.
Her companion gazed at her blankly for a moment. Then she seemed to realize the question, and answered it.
Her companion stared at her blankly for a moment. Then she seemed to understand the question and responded.
"No," she replied. "Get my machine, and—and hers, and see that some one carries them back for us—some man will do it."
"No," she replied. "Get my machine, and— and hers, and make sure someone carries them back for us—some guy will do it."
Then without another word she turned her head away, and slowly, slowly the carriage moved and began its snail's-pace journey townward.
Then without saying anything else, she turned her head away, and the carriage slowly began its crawl toward town.
Nan looked helplessly about her.
Nan looked around helplessly.
"Won't some one take the bicycles home?" she pleaded.
"Can someone please take the bicycles home?" she pleaded.
She never knew who performed the office. She never cared. She gave some stranger her address without the slightest interest as to whether he was trustworthy or no, and then, mounting her own machine, she sped home as fast as the wheels would turn.
She never knew who did the job. She didn't care. She gave some stranger her address without a thought about whether he was trustworthy or not, and then, getting on her own bike, she raced home as fast as she could.
Thus it was that when the dreary little cavalcade reached home at last everything was in readiness for its reception.
Thus it was that when the gloomy little group finally got home, everything was ready for their arrival.
There was no difficulty nor delay in getting upstairs, and in an incredibly short time the place had assumed the air of hushed solemnity that always seems to overhang the spot where illness is.
There was no trouble or delay getting upstairs, and in no time at all, the place took on that quiet seriousness that always seems to linger in spots where illness is present.
Nan crouched outside the threshold of the sick-room and listened to the low sounds within with a feeling of overwhelming guilt at her heart. She dared not go in.
Nan crouched just outside the sick room and listened to the soft sounds inside, feeling an intense wave of guilt wash over her. She didn't dare go in.
At last the door was opened, and the physician stepped forward. He saw Nan cowering in the gloom.
At last, the door swung open, and the doctor stepped inside. He saw Nan huddled in the shadows.
"What is this?" he asked kindly.
"What is this?" he asked gently.
Nan dragged herself up painfully, as though her limbs had been made of lead.
Nan dragged herself up painfully, as if her limbs were made of lead.
"Have I—have I—killed her?" she managed to gasp.
"Did I—did I—just kill her?" she managed to gasp.
The doctor bent on her a pitying look.
The doctor gave her a sympathetic look.
"Killed her?" he repeated. "I do not know what you mean. Do you mean will she die? No, my child, not if we can help it—and God grant we may. But it may be long, very long, before she is well. She has been badly hurt, poor little soul!"
"Killed her?" he repeated. "I don't know what you mean. Are you asking if she will die? No, my child, not if we can help it—and God willing we will. But it might take a long time, a very long time, before she gets better. She's been seriously hurt, poor little thing!"
Then followed a term of harrowing suspense. Nights when Nan thought the sun had forgotten how to rise—so long they seemed and never ending.
Then came a difficult time filled with suspense. Nights when Nan felt like the sun had forgotten how to rise—so long they seemed and never-ending.
The fever that followed the first season of lethargy raged fierce and hot for many a day, and the delirium that accompanied it was difficult to quell. It seemed at times as though it must burn the patient's very life away. It was during these days that Nan learned how much she had caused her friend to suffer. What, in her moments of consciousness, she had never permitted to pass her lips, now in these hours of delirium she dwelt on and repeated over and over. It was of Nan, always of Nan that she spoke.
The fever that followed the first season of exhaustion raged fiercely and hot for many days, and the delirium that came with it was hard to control. It felt at times like it could consume the patient’s very life. It was during these days that Nan realized how much she had made her friend suffer. In her moments of awareness, she had never allowed herself to say it, but now in these hours of delirium, she focused on it and repeated it endlessly. It was always about Nan, always about Nan that she spoke.
Nan must have this; Nan must not do that. It was her duty to protect Nan and guard her. She followed the girl in perilous journeys; she tried to guide her from dangerous courses. She betrayed her anxious care for her in every word she uttered. And then sometimes she would say something that Nan could not comprehend.
Nan must have this; Nan must not do that. It was her responsibility to protect Nan and look after her. She followed the girl on risky journeys; she tried to steer her away from dangerous paths. She showed her deep concern for her in everything she said. And then sometimes she would say something that Nan just couldn't understand.
"Florence's child!" she would murmur. "Florence's child!" and then she would catch herself back with a sudden look of fear as though she had betrayed a secret.
"Florence's child!" she would whisper. "Florence's child!" and then she would suddenly stop, her expression shifting to one of fear as if she had revealed a secret.
"My mother's name was Florence," Nan would say brokenly. "But I don't know what she means. She never knew my mother."
"My mom's name was Florence," Nan would say haltingly. "But I don't know what that means. She never knew my mom."
At last came a change, and then Nan was excluded from the room.
At last, there was a change, and then Nan was removed from the room.
"You might excite her, and she must be carefully guarded against any chance of that," the doctor said in explanation.
"You might get her worked up, and we have to be really careful to prevent that," the doctor explained.
But Nan was almost too happy to care. The first sound of the low, sweet voice speaking intelligently sent a thrill of passionate gratitude to her heart.
But Nan was so happy that she almost didn't care. The first sound of the soft, sweet voice speaking clearly gave her a rush of deep gratitude.
How she and Delia plotted and planned for the invalid. How Nan made the room to fairly blossom with the flowers that daily came pouring in from all manner of strange and unexpected sources.
How she and Delia schemed and organized for the invalid. How Nan made the room truly flourish with the flowers that came pouring in daily from all sorts of strange and unexpected sources.
"I never knew she had such lots of friends," the girl said one day to Delia.
"I never knew she had so many friends," the girl said one day to Delia.
The woman looked down at her with a flash of superior understanding in her eyes.
The woman looked down at her with a brief spark of knowing superiority in her eyes.
"She's a wise one," she said. "She goes her own way, and it's little she asks of any one and it's less she says. But what she does ain't little, I can tell you, Nan. I know of many a thing she's done for those who, if they haven't got money, have the grateful hearts in them to remember kindness and to love the one that shows it to them. Some day you'll know her for what she is, and then you'll never strive against her any more and you'll love her as many another has done before you."
"She's really wise," she said. "She follows her own path and asks very little from anyone, and she says even less. But what she does is far from small, I can tell you, Nan. I know of so many things she's done for those who, even if they don't have money, have grateful hearts that remember kindness and cherish the one who shows it to them. Someday you'll recognize her for who she truly is, and then you'll stop resisting her and love her like many others have before you."
The girl gazed straight into the woman's eyes. "I love her now, Delia," she said. "I've loved her from the first minute—only I didn't know it some of the time and the rest I was a horrid—little—beast, so there!"
The girl looked directly into the woman's eyes. "I love her now, Delia," she said. "I've loved her from the very first minute—it's just that I didn't realize it some of the time, and the rest of the time I was a horrible little beast, so there!"
Oh, the happy days that Nan spent in that quiet room above stairs. How she grew to love it! The sunshine coming through the curtains and making great patches of mellow light upon the floor seemed more bright here than anywhere else. If it rained, this place was less dreary than any other, and in sun or storm it was the only spot that Nan felt had the power to quell her wayward mood when it rose against her will and urged her back to her hoydenish exploits once more.
Oh, the happy days that Nan spent in that quiet room upstairs. How she grew to love it! The sunshine streaming through the curtains and creating warm patches of light on the floor seemed brighter here than anywhere else. If it rained, this place felt less gloomy than any other, and in sun or storm, it was the only spot where Nan felt could calm her rebellious mood when it rose against her will and tempted her back to her wild antics once more.
Miss Blake, lying back against her snowy pillows, had a look of such inexpressible sweetness to Nan that often and often the girl would fling herself beside the bed with her arms about the fragile figure, crying:
Miss Blake, reclining against her white pillows, had such an indescribable sweetness to Nan that time and again the girl would throw herself next to the bed, wrapping her arms around the delicate figure, crying:
"Oh, you dear, you dear! how I love you!" and then the other, with a very happy smile would invariably answer, "And I you, Nan."
"Oh, you dear, you dear! How I love you!" Then the other, with a very happy smile, would always reply, "And I love you too, Nan."
It was all understood between them now. Pardon had been humbly asked and freely granted, and there was now only the remaining regret of impending separation; the dread of the parting that was to come.
It was all clear between them now. Pardon had been politely asked for and freely given, and all that was left was the lingering regret of the impending separation; the fear of the goodbye that was approaching.
At one time they had thought that it would occur within a few weeks' time, and the joy that Nan felt in her father's return was overshadowed by the grief she experienced in the coming loss of her friend.
At one point, they thought it would happen in just a few weeks, and the happiness Nan felt about her father's return was clouded by the sadness she felt over the impending loss of her friend.
But now the date of Mr. Cutler's home-coming had been postponed. He would leave Bombay as he had at first intended, but business would detain him in London, and he could not expect to reach home until that was completed—so Mr. Turner said.
But now the date of Mr. Cutler's return home had been delayed. He would leave Bombay as he originally planned, but business would keep him in London, and he couldn't expect to get home until that was finished—so Mr. Turner said.
Thus Nan had to reconcile herself to her disappointment and the indefiniteness of her father's return, in the thought that if her meeting with him was deferred, why, so was her parting from Miss Blake.
Thus Nan had to come to terms with her disappointment and the uncertainty of her father's return, realizing that if her reunion with him was postponed, then so was her farewell to Miss Blake.
The weeks that passed before the governess was fairly convalescent had brought them well into November. They had been busy, helpful weeks for Nan. In her thought for her friend's comfort she had unconsciously learned a lesson in gentleness and patience that nothing else could have taught her. Her voice grew lower, her step lighter, and the touch of her fingers more delicate. All this could never have been accomplished in such a short space by ordinary means, but Love is a magical teacher and he instructed her in his art.
The weeks that went by before the governess was truly on the mend had brought them well into November. They had been busy, supportive weeks for Nan. In her concern for her friend's comfort, she had inadvertently learned a lesson in kindness and patience that nothing else could have taught her. Her voice became softer, her step more graceful, and the touch of her fingers more gentle. All this could never have happened in such a short time through ordinary means, but Love is a magical teacher, and it guided her in its ways.
As the dear invalid grew stronger Nan tried to beguile the long hours by reading aloud to her from her favorite authors, sage philosophers, wise poets, and tender tale-tellers. Sometimes she did not at all comprehend the meaning of the pages she read, but Miss Blake was always ready to give her "a lift" over the hardest places, and to her surprise she grew really to love these serious books, and to get an insight into the beauty of their character.
As the beloved patient got stronger, Nan tried to make the long hours more enjoyable by reading aloud to her from her favorite authors, thoughtful philosophers, insightful poets, and gentle storytellers. Sometimes she didn't fully understand the meaning of what she was reading, but Miss Blake was always there to guide her through the toughest parts, and to her surprise, she genuinely began to love these serious books and gained an appreciation for the beauty of their characters.
Once in awhile she would take up the daily paper to give her friend an idea of "what was going on in the world," seriously reading discussions about this "bill" or that "question" with absolutely no conception of what the whole thing was about.
Once in a while, she would pick up the daily paper to give her friend an idea of "what was going on in the world," seriously reading discussions about this "bill" or that "issue" with no understanding of what it all meant.
One day, it was during the last of November, she sat before the fire in the governess' room feeling especially contented and placidly happy. Miss Blake, safely ensconced among her cushions, was cozily sipping a cup of bouillon.
One day, in late November, she sat by the fire in the governess's room, feeling particularly content and happily at ease. Miss Blake, comfortably settled among her cushions, was leisurely sipping a cup of broth.
The room was very still.
The room was completely silent.
Suddenly Nan jumped to her feet, and, clasping her hands high over her head, said, with a luxurious sort of yawn:
Suddenly, Nan jumped to her feet and, raising her hands high above her head, said with a relaxed sort of yawn:
"Oh—my! How I'm liking it nowadays. Things are so sort of sweet and cozy. Do you s'pose it's too good to last? Do you s'pose it has anything to do with my trying to be good and not letting my 'angry passions rise'?"
"Oh wow! I really like it these days. Everything feels so sweet and cozy. Do you think it’s too good to last? Do you think it has anything to do with me trying to be good and not letting my 'angry passions rise'?"
The governess nodded her head, but made no other reply and after an instant Nan slipped to the floor again, and, sitting Turk-fashion beside her companion's knee, considered how possible it would have been for Miss Blake to have taken that occasion to lecture her on the past error of her ways. But she had learned that it was not the governess' way to preach. That nod was as eloquent as a sermon to Nan, and she understood it perfectly.
The governess nodded but didn't say anything else, and after a moment, Nan slipped to the floor again. Sitting cross-legged beside her companion's knee, she thought about how Miss Blake could have used this moment to lecture her about her past mistakes. But she had figured out that the governess wasn't the type to preach. That nod spoke volumes to Nan, and she got it completely.
"Shall I read you something from 'The Tribune'?" she asked, after a moment's musing. And she took up the paper and began searching for the editorial page. When she had found it she set about reading the first leader that came to hand, quite regardless of whether it would prove interesting to her auditor or not. The fact that it was unintelligible to her seemed a sort of guarantee, in her mind, that it would be interesting to Miss Blake. She read on and on until both her breath and the column itself came to a stop.
"Should I read you something from 'The Tribune'?" she asked after thinking for a moment. She picked up the paper and started looking for the editorial page. Once she found it, she began reading the first article she came across, not caring whether it would be interesting to her listener or not. The fact that it was completely confusing to her felt like a guarantee in her mind that it would be intriguing to Miss Blake. She continued reading until both her breath and the column itself came to an end.
"You poor child," said the governess affectionately. "Don't read another word of that. How stupid it must be for you. Here, take this book of dear Mary Wilkins. We can both of us understand her, and she will do us both good. You need not victimize yourself a moment longer, dear Nannie."
"You poor thing," said the governess with warmth. "Don't read another word of that. It must be so boring for you. Here, take this book by dear Mary Wilkins. We can both understand her, and she’ll be good for both of us. You don’t have to put yourself through this for another second, dear Nannie."
But Nan, radiant with good humor, felt a sort of glory in just such self-victimizing. She searched through the page for further unintelligible text.
But Nan, beaming with happiness, felt a kind of pride in that same self-sacrifice. She scanned the page for more confusing words.
All at once she paused and read a few lines to herself. Then she burst into a laugh.
All of a sudden, she stopped and read a few lines to herself. Then she broke into laughter.
"Here's something about a man who has such a funny name. It's James Murty, alias Dan Divver, alias Shaughnessy. What a last name—Shaughnessy! And why was he called alias twice over, Miss Blake? I didn't know one could have the same name more than once. It seems awfully expensive—I mean extravagant." Miss Blake laughed.
"Here's something about a guy with a really funny name. It's James Murty, also known as Dan Divver, also known as Shaughnessy. What a last name—Shaughnessy! And why does he have two aliases, Miss Blake? I didn't know someone could have the same name more than once. It seems really costly—I mean extravagant." Miss Blake laughed.
"You are thinking of Elias, Nan. This man's name is not Elias. Alias is pronounced differently, and is not a name at all, but a word signifying otherwise, or otherwise called. It means that the man has gone under those different titles. And I don't think I care to hear what it has to say about the gentleman, dear. He probably isn't just the sort of person whose exploits would make fair reading."
"You’re thinking of Elias, Nan. This man’s name isn’t Elias. Alias is pronounced differently, and it’s not really a name, but a word meaning otherwise, or otherwise called. It indicates that the man has gone by those different titles. And I don't think I want to hear what it has to say about him, dear. He probably isn’t the type of person whose adventures would make for interesting reading."
"Is he bad?" asked Nan.
"Is he bad?" Nan asked.
"I should gather, from his names, that his existence had been somewhat checkered," replied the governess with a twinkle in her eye.
"I can tell from his names that his life has been a bit unusual," replied the governess with a spark in her eye.
"Is it wicked to go under other names than your own?"
"Is it wrong to use names other than your own?"
Miss Blake flushed as she bent forward to place her empty cup upon the table by her side. She was far from strong yet; the slightest exertion brought the blood to her cheeks.
Miss Blake flushed as she leaned forward to set her empty cup on the table next to her. She was still quite fragile; even the smallest effort made her cheeks redden.
"Not necessarily," she said. "But as a general rule people whose lives have been simple and upright do not need to live under an assumed name. Of course there might be exceptional cases—and there is a difference between an alias and an incognito."
"Not really," she said. "But generally speaking, people who have lived honest and straightforward lives don’t need to hide behind a fake name. There could be some unique situations, though—and there’s a difference between using an alias and going incognito."
"What's an incognito?" questioned Nan.
"What's incognito?" questioned Nan.
"Why, if a person of rank or importance travels through a country and wishes to escape publicity, he often does so incognito—that is, unknown. He will drop his official title and take his family name or part of his family name with a simple prefix. For instance, a king might care to be known as the Duke of So-and-so; a Duke as Mr. ——, whatever his surname chanced to be. That would not be wicked and it would not be an alias. And sometimes people who are not nobles find it desirable to remain unrecognized for a time. Take it for granted that I was not, in reality, a governess at all; I mean that I was not forced by circumstances to take such a position, but that I for some reason chose to assume it. That I cared to come here and be with you because I had known and loved your parents long ago and wished to do my best for their child. Then suppose I did not care to disclose my identity to—to—people because of—well, no matter—I simply came here giving you but part of my name—not the whole, why it might not be a wise course, but it certainly could not be called a wicked."
"Well, when someone important travels through a country and wants to avoid attention, they often go incognito—meaning, they stay unknown. They drop their official title and use their last name or part of it with a simple prefix. For example, a king might want to be known as the Duke of So-and-so, and a Duke as Mr. —, whatever his last name happens to be. That wouldn’t be wrong, and it wouldn’t be an alias. Sometimes, people who aren’t nobles also find it useful to remain unrecognized for a while. Just assume I wasn’t actually a governess; I mean, I wasn’t forced into that role by circumstances, but I chose to take it for some reason. I came here to be with you because I knew and loved your parents a long time ago and wanted to do my best for their child. Now, let’s say I didn’t want to share my identity with—well, never mind that—I simply came here giving you only part of my name—not the whole thing; it might not be the smartest choice, but it certainly wouldn’t be called wrong."
"Oh, how I wish you had," cried Nan. "It would be splendid fun. Just like a princess in disguise and things. Say you aren't a governess and that your name isn't Blake. Oh, please do. It'll be just like fairy-stories if you will."
"Oh, I really wish you had," Nan exclaimed. "It would be so much fun. Just like a princess in disguise and all that. Please say you're not a governess and that your name isn't Blake. Oh, please do. It’ll be just like a fairy tale if you do."
"How can I, dear, when I am and it is?" replied the governess, slowly. "I am no princess in disguise, I assure you. I am simply a very prosaic little woman and your devoted friend. I don't think I could possibly discover anything at all resembling a fairy-tale in my life. But some time, perhaps, when you are older, and when—I mean, if we meet again, I will tell you all there is to tell about myself—that is, if you care to listen. It will not be exciting—but you might care to know it."
"How can I, my dear, when I am and it is?" replied the governess slowly. "I’m not a princess in disguise, I promise you. I’m just a very ordinary little woman and your loyal friend. I don't think I could ever find anything that resembles a fairy tale in my life. But maybe someday, when you’re older, and when—I mean, if we meet again, I’ll share everything there is to know about myself—that is, if you want to hear it. It won't be thrilling—but you might want to know."
"Oh, I would, I would!" the girl exclaimed heartily. "But I hate to have you talk of 'if we meet again.' Why, we must, Miss Blake. Don't you know I couldn't live and know I wasn't to see you any more? It's like the most awful thing that could happen to have you go way at all, and the only way I can bear it is thinking of how we'll see each other often and often. Why, my father will be so thankful to you for taking such care of me! I guess he won't know what to do. And when you see him and find how good he is, you won't be afraid a bit. You'll just as lief stay here as not. He's the best, the dearest—oh, you couldn't help but like my father."
"Oh, I totally would!" the girl said enthusiastically. "But I can't stand you talking about 'if we meet again.' We have to, Miss Blake. Don't you realize I couldn't go on knowing I wouldn't see you again? It feels like the worst thing that could happen if you leave, and the only way I can handle it is by thinking about how we'll see each other all the time. My dad will be so grateful to you for looking after me! I bet he won't even know what to do. And when you meet him and see how great he is, you won't be scared at all. You'll probably want to stay here just as much. He's the best, the sweetest—oh, you can't help but like my dad."
A soft hand patted her head in loving appreciation, but not one word said the governess, and the two sat together in silence for some time thinking rather sober thoughts, until the sound of the door-bell broke in upon the stillness and brought Nan to her feet and sent her flying to the balusters to peep over and discover who the late caller might be.
A gentle hand patted her head in fond appreciation, but the governess didn't say a word, and the two sat quietly together for a while, lost in serious thoughts, until the doorbell rang, interrupting the silence. Nan jumped to her feet and rushed to the banister to peek over and see who the late visitor was.
"It's Mr. Turner, and he asked for you," she said, coming back into the room and bending to gather up the scattered news sheets that strewed the floor. "He looked as solemn as an owl, and he asked for you in a voice that made me feel ever so queer—it was so trembly."
"It's Mr. Turner, and he wants to see you," she said, walking back into the room and bending down to pick up the scattered newspapers that were all over the floor. "He looked really serious, kind of like an owl, and when he asked for you, his voice was so shaky that it made me feel really strange."
"He may be cold," suggested Miss Blake.
"He might be cold," suggested Miss Blake.
She rose and settled the pillows upon the divan. She would have to receive her guest up here. She was not yet permitted to venture below. She and Nan stood ready to receive him as he entered the room, and after the first greetings the girl was about to sit down beside her friend when the lawyer said abruptly:
She got up and adjusted the pillows on the couch. She had to host her guest up here. She wasn’t allowed to go downstairs yet. She and Nan were prepared to greet him as he walked into the room, and after the initial pleasantries, the girl was about to sit next to her friend when the lawyer suddenly said:
"My dear, I must ask you to permit me to talk to Miss Blake alone to-day. I have some private business to transact with her. You will pardon me for asking you to leave us."
"My dear, I need to ask you to let me speak to Miss Blake alone today. I have some private matters to discuss with her. I hope you don’t mind stepping out for a moment."
Nan rose immediately with a smile of good-natured understanding, but as she turned to leave the room she saw that the face of the governess was deathly white, and she ran back to her, crying:
Nan got up right away with a smile of friendly understanding, but as she turned to leave the room, she saw that the governess's face was pale as death, and she rushed back to her, crying:
"What is it; oh, what is it? Are you faint? Let me get you something."
"What is it; oh, what is it? Are you feeling faint? Let me get you something."
She was in a sudden bewilderment of alarm. Miss Blake gently put her aside, saying calmly,
She suddenly felt a rush of alarm. Miss Blake gently moved her aside, saying calmly,
"Why, nothing is the matter, Nan. Nothing at all, my dear. I am strong and well now, you know. Quite strong and well. You must not make Mr. Turner think I am ill, else he will go away again, and I shall not know what he has to say to me. I am quite able to hear—whatever it is. So go away, dear."
"Why, there's nothing wrong, Nan. Nothing at all, my dear. I'm strong and healthy now, you know. Really strong and healthy. You mustn't let Mr. Turner think I'm sick, or he'll leave again, and I won't know what he wants to tell me. I'm perfectly able to hear—whatever it is. So please go away, dear."
The girl obeyed, and the next moment the door had closed behind her, and only the sound of her voice from without, singing in happy reassurance, broke the stillness of the room where the lawyer and the governess stood facing each other silently.
The girl obeyed, and the next moment the door closed behind her, leaving only the sound of her voice from outside, singing cheerfully to reassure them, breaking the silence in the room where the lawyer and the governess stood facing each other quietly.
CHAPTER XX
THROUGH DEEP WATERS
Mr. Turner was the first to speak. "Sit down," he said kindly. "You must not stand."
Mr. Turner was the first to speak. "Please have a seat," he said gently. "You shouldn’t stand."
Miss Blake sank into her place upon the divan, but she did not lean back. She sat stiffly upright, nervously locking and unlocking her fingers in her lap and compressing her lips tightly, but asking no questions—saying no word.
Miss Blake settled into her spot on the couch, but she didn’t lean back. She sat straight up, nervously locking and unlocking her fingers in her lap and pressing her lips together tightly, but she didn’t ask any questions—didn’t say a word.
The lawyer drew a chair beside her and slowly, deliberately seated himself in it.
The lawyer pulled up a chair next to her and took his time settling into it.
"You remember," he began at length, in a hesitating sort of way, "that I told you some time ago that I had some reason to fear that affairs were not prospering at Bombay. I wish to come to the point at once; to spare you all suspense. I am afraid Mr. Cutler is in some serious difficulty, and—"
"You remember," he started slowly, hesitating a bit, "that I mentioned a while back that I was worried things weren't going well in Bombay. I want to get straight to the point and spare you all the suspense. I'm afraid Mr. Cutler is in some serious trouble, and—"
He paused. The governess leaned forward, and her breath came quickly.
He paused. The governess leaned in, and she was breathing rapidly.
"Go on," she whispered.
"Go ahead," she whispered.
"For some time past his letters have been most unsatisfactory. He has seemed depressed and discouraged. What word I have received from him during the past few months has been of such a character as to lead one to form the gravest suspicions. His letters have been short and hurried—written, evidently, under great mental strain. And latterly they have ceased altogether. For the last two months, ever since you have been ill, I have heard literally nothing from him. His plan was to leave Bombay in September. That he kept to his original purpose I have no reason to doubt. He was on the steamer, or, at least, his name was on its passenger list. Of course while you were so ill I could say nothing to you of this—besides I had only my suspicions then. But as time passed, and no communication from him reached me I grew apprehensive. Within the last two weeks I have sent numberless dispatches to him to his London address, but not one of them has received a reply—in fact, no one of them has been delivered to him. The people there do not know where he is. I have cabled to Bombay, thinking he might have been detained there unexpectedly, but that, too, has proved of no avail. The Bombay house know nothing of his whereabouts. He left them as he intended to do in September, and since then they have heard from him as little as I."
"For a while now, his letters have been really disappointing. He seems down and discouraged. The messages I’ve received from him in the past few months have raised serious concerns. His letters have been short and rushed—clearly written under a lot of mental stress. And recently, they’ve stopped completely. For the last two months, ever since you got sick, I haven’t heard anything from him at all. His plan was to leave Bombay in September, and I have no reason to doubt he stuck to that plan. He was on the steamer, or at least, his name was on the passenger list. Of course, I couldn’t mention any of this to you while you were so ill—I only had my suspicions at that point. But as time passed without any communication from him, I started to worry. In the last two weeks, I’ve sent countless messages to his London address, but not one has been answered—in fact, none have even reached him. The people there don’t know where he is. I even cabled to Bombay, hoping he might have been unexpectedly delayed there, but that didn’t help either. The people at the Bombay house know nothing about where he is. He left as planned in September, and since then, they’ve heard from him just as little as I have."
Miss Blake's eager eyes seemed to search the lawyer through and through. He shifted uneasily in his place.
Miss Blake's eager eyes appeared to look right through the lawyer. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"It is very difficult to go on," he said, with a nervous, constrained cough.
"It’s really hard to continue," he said, with a nervous, awkward cough.
"Quick! Quick!" whispered the governess. "Tell me everything now—this minute. Tell me! Tell me!"
"Quick! Quick!" whispered the governess. "Tell me everything right now—this minute. Tell me! Tell me!"
"There is little more to tell," said Mr. Turner sadly. "This afternoon I received a wire from his London banker, and it seems—that—he, William Cutler, is—is—dead."
"There isn't much more to say," Mr. Turner said sadly. "This afternoon I got a message from his London bank, and it looks like—he, William Cutler, is—is—dead."
There was a low cry. Miss Blake had leaped to her feet at his words, and now she was swaying forward as though too faint to stand. The lawyer sprang forward to save her from falling, but she pushed him away with both hands almost savagely.
There was a faint cry. Miss Blake jumped to her feet at his words, and now she was swaying forward as if she could barely stay upright. The lawyer rushed forward to catch her and prevent her from falling, but she pushed him away with both hands almost violently.
"No, no!" she gasped. "I am strong. I am strong. But—God pity us! My poor little Nan—and—oh, my poor little Nan!"
"No, no!" she gasped. "I’m strong. I’m strong. But—God help us! My poor little Nan—and—oh, my poor little Nan!"
She sank back upon the divan and buried her face in her outstretched arms.
She sank back on the couch and buried her face in her outstretched arms.
The lawyer rose and went to the window.
The lawyer stood up and walked to the window.
Outside the wind blew drearily. The bare trees showed but dimly through the gathering dusk. It was a bleak, cold outlook. Presently down the street came a man with a lighted torch and set the gas-flames to flickering in every lamp along his way.
Outside, the wind blew gloomily. The bare trees barely showed through the fading light. It was a bleak, chilly scene. Soon, a man walked down the street with a lit torch, igniting the gas flames to flicker in every lamp as he passed.
Mr. Turner watched him until he had passed out of sight—then he turned about and came back to the sofa once more.
Mr. Turner watched him until he was out of sight—then he turned around and returned to the sofa again.
Miss Blake had raised her head and sat staring blankly before her, dry-eyed, but with an expression far sadder than tears; the dull, lifeless look of helpless misery that has not yet been touched with submission.
Miss Blake had lifted her head and sat looking blankly in front of her, dry-eyed, but with an expression much sadder than tears; the dull, lifeless look of helpless misery that hasn’t yet been softened by acceptance.
"Shall I leave you now?" asked the lawyer softly. "Perhaps you would rather be alone. I can come again—whenever you wish. Perhaps it would be better for me to come again when you are stronger—better able to bear it."
"Should I leave you now?" the lawyer asked gently. "Maybe you'd prefer to be by yourself. I can come back whenever you want. It might be better for me to return when you’re feeling stronger—more able to handle it."
She turned her large eyes upon him in a sort of mute supplication. All the light had gone out of them now. Mr. Turner reseated himself and continued:
She looked at him with her big eyes, silently pleading. All the light had faded from them now. Mr. Turner sat back down and continued:
"He died in a hospital in London of a malignant fever. No one saw him. He was buried within twenty-four hours, I presume according to the law in such cases. Of course, I have no particulars, only the barest outline of facts. Undoubtedly I shall receive a letter by the next steamer, giving details. It is all desperately sad—heart-breakingly sad. Poor fellow! So young and to die alone among strangers."
"He died in a hospital in London from a serious fever. No one was with him. He was buried within twenty-four hours, which I assume is required by law in these situations. Of course, I don’t have any details, just the basic facts. I’ll probably get a letter by the next steamer with more information. It's all incredibly sad—heartbreakingly sad. Poor guy! So young and to die alone among strangers."
Miss Blake stretched out her hands supplicatingly.
Miss Blake stretched out her hands in a pleading gesture.
"Don't," she pleaded.
"Please don't," she pleaded.
"Shall I tell Nan?" Mr. Turner asked after a moment. "Perhaps it would be better if I should. You have undergone enough."
"Should I tell Nan?" Mr. Turner asked after a moment. "Maybe it would be better if I did. You've been through enough."
"No, no!" she cried. "No one must tell her but myself. But first I must talk to you about—about—you know when I came here I had reasons for wishing her not to know who I was. Now I will tell her. There is no more need to withhold anything. Delia always knew—from the first—but she never told Nan and she never would have told. But that is all over now. There is no need for secrecy any more. And I will stay with her. I will keep her with me always. She has no one else now, and I—I—I am free to do as I please. If—if he has left her unprovided for, why, that shall make no difference to her. I have plenty and she shall share it with me. She shall never feel the care or want of anything that I can supply. Ah, Mr. Turner, I am glad I came. It has been hard, but I am glad I came."
"No, no!" she exclaimed. "No one can tell her but me. But first, I need to talk to you about—about—you know when I got here I had my reasons for not wanting her to know who I was. But now I'm ready to tell her. There's no need to hide anything anymore. Delia always knew—from the beginning—but she never told Nan, and she never would have. But that's all in the past now. There’s no more need for secrecy. And I will stay with her. I will keep her with me always. She has no one else now, and I—I—I'm free to do what I want. If—if he left her without anything, well, that won't matter to her. I have more than enough, and she’ll share it with me. She will never feel the burden or lack of anything I can provide. Ah, Mr. Turner, I’m so glad I came. It’s been tough, but I’m glad I came."
She broke down completely. Her frail figure shook with shuddering sobs.
She completely fell apart. Her delicate frame shook with deep sobs.
But she was not a woman to give way long, and in a moment she regained her self-control.
But she wasn’t the type to give in for long, and soon she regained her self-control.
"I must have time to think," she said. "Everything seems so changed and strange. I scarcely know where I stand. The suddenness of it has been so horrible. I suppose he must have been ill for a long time—too ill to write. And by and by when they took him to the hospital he must have been unconscious, and so they could not communicate with his friends. That would account for it all, his not writing nor receiving the dispatches—and his friends not knowing where he was."
"I need some time to think," she said. "Everything feels so different and unusual. I hardly know where I stand. The suddenness of it has been so terrible. I guess he must have been sick for a long time—too sick to write. And later, when they took him to the hospital, he must have been unconscious, so they couldn't get in touch with his friends. That explains everything: why he didn't write or get any messages—and why his friends had no idea where he was."
Mr. Turner nodded. Then he rose.
Mr. Turner nodded. Then he stood up.
"I will leave you now," he said. "You are completely worn out. If you will take my advice you will defer telling Nan until tomorrow. I fear the strain will prove too great for you."
"I’m going to head out now," he said. "You’re totally exhausted. If you take my advice, wait until tomorrow to tell Nan. I’m worried the pressure will be too much for you."
She smiled faintly.
She smiled weakly.
"Oh, no," she replied. "I am stronger than you think. But the child shall not be told tonight. I will leave her in peace for one night longer. I will let her get one more good night's rest. Then to-morrow, when she is refreshed and strengthened by her sleep she can learn it all."
"Oh, no," she replied. "I’m stronger than you think. But the child won’t be told tonight. I’ll let her have one more night of peace. I want her to get a good night’s rest. Then tomorrow, when she’s refreshed and stronger from her sleep, she can learn everything."
The lawyer held out his hand. "This has been one of the hardest trials of my life," he said. "But you have helped me by your bravery and fortitude. I thank you from my heart. Good night!" and in a moment he was gone.
The lawyer extended his hand. "This has been one of the toughest trials of my life," he said. "But your bravery and strength have helped me. I truly appreciate it. Good night!" And in a moment, he was gone.
That evening Miss Blake bade Delia take Nan to the Andrews'. She wrote a short note to Ruth's mother in which she begged her to keep the girl through the evening and make her as happy as she could. She briefly stated the reason for her request.
That evening, Miss Blake asked Delia to take Nan to the Andrews'. She wrote a short note to Ruth's mom, asking her to keep the girl for the evening and make her as happy as possible. She briefly explained why she was making this request.
Nan knew that something was being kept from her but she never suspected what. She fancied it must be connected with Miss Blake's private affairs, and she asked no questions. When she reached the Andrews' her exuberant spirits reasserted themselves and she spent a gay evening with Ruth, Mrs. Andrews leading in the fun and seeing that no one passed a dull moment. They played all sorts of games, and then finally Bridget appeared with the crowning delight, a tray upon which a tempting array of good things was set forth. How Nan enjoyed it! She often thought afterward what a happy evening it was. At ten o'clock Delia called for her and she went home through the still night, thinking all sorts of merry thoughts. Miss Blake listened with apparent interest to her description of her evening's jollification, and when she had finished gave her an especially tender good-night kiss, saying:
Nan sensed that something was being kept from her, but she never guessed what it was. She figured it must have something to do with Miss Blake's personal matters, so she didn't ask any questions. When she got to the Andrews' house, her lively spirit returned, and she had a fun evening with Ruth, with Mrs. Andrews leading the entertainment and making sure everyone had a good time. They played all kinds of games, and then finally Bridget showed up with the ultimate treat: a tray filled with a tempting selection of delicious snacks. Nan really loved it! She often thought back on how happy that evening was. At ten o'clock, Delia came to pick her up, and she walked home through the quiet night, filled with all sorts of cheerful thoughts. Miss Blake listened with apparent interest as Nan described her evening of fun, and when she finished, Miss Blake gave her a particularly sweet good-night kiss, saying:
"God bless you, my Nan. Sleep well, dear, and let us both pray for strength to bear God's will."
"God bless you, my Nan. Sleep well, dear, and let’s both pray for the strength to accept God’s will."
The next morning after breakfast Nan discovered why Miss Blake had bade her especially to pray for strength.
The next morning after breakfast, Nan found out why Miss Blake had specifically asked her to pray for strength.
Poor child! She felt so utterly weak and helpless in her misery. At first she could scarcely realize what had befallen her and she kept insisting, "It isn't my father that has died. It is some one else. How can I feel that he isn't alive? He can't be dead! He isn't! He isn't! Why, only yesterday I was expecting he would soon be home. It's some other man who hasn't got a daughter that loves him so."
Poor child! She felt completely weak and helpless in her sadness. At first, she could hardly understand what had happened to her and kept insisting, "It isn't my father who has died. It's someone else. How can I believe that he's not alive? He can't be dead! He isn't! He isn't! Just yesterday, I was expecting him to be home soon. It's some other man who doesn't have a daughter that loves him like I do."
But by and by she grew desperate in her wretchedness and then it took all Miss Blake's influence to restrain her from really wearing herself out in the abandon of her grief.
But eventually she grew desperate in her misery, and it took all of Miss Blake's influence to keep her from completely exhausting herself in her overwhelming sadness.
But by evening the house was quiet. Nan's loud sobbing had ceased and she lay quite still and exhausted, stretched upon the divan in Miss Blake's room, with her throbbing head in the governess' lap. A tender hand stroked her disheveled hair, a tender voice spoke words of comfort to her, and she was soothed and solaced by both.
But by evening, the house was quiet. Nan's loud crying had stopped, and she lay still and worn out, stretched out on the couch in Miss Blake's room, with her aching head resting in the governess's lap. A gentle hand stroked her messy hair, and a soothing voice spoke comforting words to her, providing her with solace and comfort.
"Shall I tell you a story, Nan?" asked Miss Blake at length.
"Can I tell you a story, Nan?" asked Miss Blake after a while.
The girl gave a silent nod of assent.
The girl nodded silently in agreement.
"Well, once upon a time," began the governess in a gentle monotone, "there lived two girls and they were friends. They loved each other dearly. One was tall and fair and beautiful, and the other was small and dark, and if people ever thought her even pretty it was because love lighted their kind eyes and made it seem that what they looked upon was sweet.
"Once upon a time," the governess said softly, "there were two girls who were best friends. They cared for each other deeply. One girl was tall, fair, and beautiful, while the other was small and dark. If anyone ever thought the smaller girl was pretty, it was because love shone in their kind eyes, making everything they saw look lovely."
"The first girl had father and mother and a happy home. The second was an orphan, having nothing to remind her of the parents she had lost when she was a baby but the fortune they had left her. She never knew what love meant until she met her beautiful friend. Then she learned. Oh, how those two girls loved each other! When Florence, the beautiful one, found that Isabel had no home she pleaded with her parents to take her into theirs, and they not only took her to their home but to their hearts as well. And so she and her dear friend grew up together like sisters, and the little lonely girl was not lonely any more, but very, very happy among those she loved. Well, time went on, and by and by when the two girls had become quite young women, the first more beautiful than ever, the other a little less plain, maybe, something happened that, in the end, caused them to be separated forever.
"The first girl had both a father and mother and a happy home. The second was an orphan, with nothing to remind her of the parents she lost when she was a baby except for the fortune they left behind. She never knew what love felt like until she met her beautiful friend. Then she learned. Oh, how much those two girls loved each other! When Florence, the beautiful one, found out that Isabel had no home, she begged her parents to bring Isabel into theirs, and they not only welcomed her into their home but also into their hearts. So, she and her dear friend grew up together like sisters, and the lonely little girl was no longer lonely but very, very happy among those she loved. Well, time went by, and eventually when the two girls had become young women— the first even more beautiful than ever and the other maybe a little less plain—something happened that ultimately caused them to be separated forever."
"God sent into their lives the self-same experience and into their hearts the self-same thought. It was a beautiful experience and a beautiful thought, but if it was to mean happiness for one, it must be at the cost of grief to the other. Perhaps it was because they both knew this that neither of them told her secret. But presently it was decided which was to have the happiness. It came to the one who expected it least—who had the least right to expect it. It came to Isabel, and for a moment she thought she might accept it. But it was only for a moment. Then she knew that she must relinquish it. It would have been base, would it not, my Nan, to have defrauded the friend who had done so much for her? And so she, Isabel, left the house that had been her home for so many years, and quite solitary and alone sailed across the sea to the other side of the world, and there she stayed for—well, over a dozen years, my dear.
"God brought into their lives the same experience and into their hearts the same thought. It was a beautiful experience and a beautiful thought, but if it was meant to bring happiness to one, it had to come at the cost of grief to the other. Perhaps it was because they both understood this that neither of them revealed her secret. But soon it was decided who would receive the happiness. It went to the one who least expected it—who had the least right to hope for it. It came to Isabel, and for a moment she thought she might accept it. But it was only for a moment. Then she realized that she had to let it go. It would have been wrong, wouldn't it, my Nan, to have cheated the friend who had done so much for her? So, Isabel left the house that had been her home for so many years and, feeling quite solitary and alone, sailed across the sea to the other side of the world, where she stayed for—well, over a dozen years, my dear."
"It was soon after she went away that your mother—I mean Florence—was married. Isabel heard of it and was glad. And later, when she learned that a dear little daughter had been born to Florence, she was happier still. But then came sad news. Oh, such sad news! The beautiful young mother died, died and left her little baby girl behind her with only the poor father to take care of it.
"It was soon after she left that your mother—I mean Florence—got married. Isabel heard about it and felt glad. Later, when she found out that Florence had given birth to a sweet little girl, she felt even happier. But then came the heartbreaking news. Oh, such heartbreaking news! The beautiful young mother passed away, leaving her little baby girl behind with only the poor father to take care of her."
"Then, after that, Isabel heard nothing more for a long, long time, for Florence's good parents were dead and her husband and Isabel were—well, not at enmity, Nan, but not at peace together. It was all owing to a misunderstanding, but that did not alter it. They were not friends and Isabel was too proud to write and ask him whether all went well with him and the little daughter or whether she might perhaps help to care for the child. And so years passed and then one day Isabel felt that she could remain away from America no longer. All the time there had been a great longing in her heart to return, but she had tried to smother it and tell herself that she had no Fatherland; that America was no more to her than any of the strange countries she had lived in; that her acquaintances abroad were as much to her as her friends at home. But, as I say, by and by she could resist her desire no longer, and so one day she set sail for America—I think it must have been after she had been absent for quite fourteen years—and oh! how her heart beat when she saw the dear land once more. Well, I must make my story short, Nan, so I will not tell you how it came about that she first heard that Florence's little daughter had grown into a tall girl; that she was living in the old house where Isabel had spent so many happy years; that her father had gone to some far Eastern country and left her in the charge of a faithful servant of her mother's who had loved them all in days gone by. But she learned all this and more beside and then something told her that it was her duty to go to Florence's child and care for her and show her as well as she might how to be a noble, true, and lovely woman, as her mother had been before her. So she went to the little girl as governess and at first the child was opposed to her, but by and by she—I really think she grew to love her almost as much as the governess loved the child. And all this time the father never knew who was caring for his girl because in the letters that went to him the governess was spoken of by but part of her name. She chose to live incognito, you know what that is, Nan, because she feared if he knew who was serving his child as governess he would write to her in his proud fashion and say:
"After that, Isabel didn't hear anything for a long time, because Florence's good parents were gone, and her husband and Isabel were—well, not enemies, but not at peace either. It all stemmed from a misunderstanding, but that didn't change anything. They weren't friends, and Isabel was too proud to reach out and ask how he and their little daughter were doing or if she could help take care of the child. So, years went by, and eventually, Isabel felt like she could no longer stay away from America. All along, she had a deep longing in her heart to return, but she tried to ignore it, convincing herself that she had no homeland; that America meant no more to her than any of the other foreign countries she had lived in; that her friends abroad were just as important to her as her friends back home. But as I said, she could only resist her desire for so long, and one day she decided to sail back to America—I think it must have been after she'd been away for nearly fourteen years—and oh! how her heart raced when she saw her beloved homeland again. Now, I need to keep this story brief, so I won't share how she found out that Florence's little daughter had grown into a tall girl; that she was living in the old house where Isabel had spent so many happy years; that her father had gone off to some distant eastern country and left her with a loyal family friend who had cared for them all back in the day. But she learned all of this and more, and then something told her it was her duty to look after Florence's child, to care for her and help her become a noble, true, and beautiful woman, just like her mother had been. So she took the role of governess, and at first, the little girl didn’t like her, but gradually, she—I truly believe she grew to love her almost as much as the governess loved the child. All during this time, the father never knew who was taking care of his daughter because in the letters sent to him, the governess was referred to only by part of her name. She chose to remain anonymous, you know what that means, Nan, because she was afraid that if he knew who was looking after his child, he would write to her in his prideful way and say:"
"No; I need no one to care for my daughter for love. Whomever I employ I will pay. You are a wealthy woman. You need not work for money. My few poor dollars are nothing to you. Besides—"
"No; I don’t need anyone to take care of my daughter out of love. Whoever I hire, I will pay. You’re a wealthy woman. You don’t need to work for money. My few poor dollars mean nothing to you. Besides—"
"And then I think, Nan, he would have referred to the old disagreement and it would all have been very painful, and she would have had to go away and been lonely ever after and have left undone her duty to Florence's child. So she lived quietly in the old house with the little girl and the servant and all went well for a year and then—well, then, dear Nan, I think I need not tell what happened then. But, oh, my dear, you are my own little girl—Florence's child and I loved her, ah! I loved her so. For her sake you are mine now. Never say that you are 'all alone' again. I have taken you as a sacred trust. Come to me, Nan, for I am lonely too, I am lonely too."
"And then I think, Nan, he would have brought up the old disagreement, and it would have been really painful. She would have had to leave and felt lonely forever, leaving her duty to Florence's child unfinished. So she lived quietly in the old house with the little girl and the servant, and everything went well for a year, and then—well, then, dear Nan, I think I don't need to explain what happened next. But, oh, my dear, you are my own little girl—Florence's child, and I loved her, oh! I loved her so much. For her sake, you are mine now. Never say that you are 'all alone' again. I have taken you as a sacred trust. Come to me, Nan, because I am lonely too, I am lonely too."
CHAPTER XXI
ANOTHER CHRISTMAS
It was Christmas eve. Nan was sitting before the dining-room fire curled up in a huge arm chair thinking. Her pale face had grown wonderfully sweet during the last few weeks; the curves about her mouth had softened; her eyes had lost their keen sparkle and gained a softer light instead. She seemed to have undergone a complete transformation, and any one seeing the headstrong hoyden of the year before would have found it difficult to recognize her in this gentle-mannered girl with her serene brow and patient eyes, to whom suffering had taught so hard a lesson. Her black dress and her parted hair gave her a wonderfully meek look. But Nan was not meek. She was merely controlled. The same hot passions still rose in her breast, but she tried to restrain them now.
It was Christmas Eve. Nan was sitting in front of the dining room fire, curled up in a big armchair, deep in thought. Her pale face had become beautifully sweet over the last few weeks; the lines around her mouth had softened, and her eyes had lost their sharp sparkle, gaining a softer glow instead. She seemed to have completely transformed, and anyone who had known the headstrong tomboy from a year ago would have found it hard to recognize her as this gentle girl with a calm brow and patient eyes, who had learned such a tough lesson from suffering. Her black dress and neatly parted hair gave her a wonderfully humble appearance. But Nan wasn’t humble. She was simply more composed. The same intense emotions still surged within her, but she was trying to keep them in check now.
This evening she was thinking over all that had happened during the past year; especially she was trying to project her thoughts into the future, and to imagine what would occur in the years to come. She had not yet become accustomed to the idea of life without her father. It seemed to her that he must be alive, and she often waked up in the night from such a vivid dream of him that it seemed as though he really stood beside her, and that she might feel his hand if she stretched forth her own in the dark. It was difficult to reconcile herself to living without the hope of his return; it was hard to convince herself that she must never look forward to receiving a letter from him again. But she knew it must be accomplished, and the effort would help to make a noble woman of her.
This evening, she was reflecting on everything that had happened over the past year. She was especially trying to think ahead and imagine what the future would hold. She hadn’t yet gotten used to the idea of life without her father. It felt to her like he was still alive, and she often woke up in the night from such a vivid dream of him that it seemed like he was really standing next to her, and that she could feel his hand if she reached out into the dark. It was hard for her to come to terms with living without the hope of his return; it was tough to accept that she would never again look forward to receiving a letter from him. But she knew she had to make this acceptance happen, and that the effort would help her grow into a strong woman.
As she sat there in the dim room, with only the fire to light it, she wondered whether anything could make of her as noble a woman as was her "Aunt Isabel." In her heart she felt not. Aunt Isabel was simply perfect in the girl's sight, and if she could ever have been brought to doubt her perfection, why, there was Delia to prove it with her emphatic:
As she sat in the dim room, illuminated only by the fire, she wondered if anything could ever make her as noble as her "Aunt Isabel." Deep down, she felt it wasn’t possible. Aunt Isabel seemed flawless in the girl’s eyes, and if she ever had any doubts about that perfection, Delia was always there to confirm it emphatically:
"No, ma'am! There ain't no one in this world like her. She is the best, the generousest, the most self-sacrificin' soul on earth—that she is, and I've known her ever since she was a child. If any one was to ask me the name of the woman I've most call to honor an' love, I'd say 'twas Isabel Blake Severance an' never stop a minute to think it over."
"No, ma'am! There's no one in this world like her. She is the best, the most generous, the most self-sacrificing person on earth—that she is, and I've known her since she was a child. If anyone were to ask me the name of the woman I honor and love the most, I'd say it's Isabel Blake Severance without hesitation."
And both Nan and Delia had long ago decided that while other women might be more beautiful, no one could have softer, sunnier hair than Aunt Isabel, nor truer, tenderer eyes, nor a prettier nose nor a sweeter mouth. And Nan was quite confident that if one hunted the whole globe over one could not find dimples more entirely winning nor hands whose touch was so absolutely soothing and soft.
And both Nan and Delia had long ago decided that while other women might be more beautiful, no one had softer, sunnier hair than Aunt Isabel, or truer, kinder eyes, or a prettier nose, or a sweeter mouth. And Nan was sure that if you searched the entire world, you wouldn't find dimples that were more charming or hands that were so incredibly soothing and soft.
But Miss Severance could never be brought to admit these important facts, though Nan often sought to convince her of their truth. She was too busy a woman to have time to think whether she were beautiful or not.
But Miss Severance could never be convinced to admit these important facts, even though Nan often tried to persuade her of their truth. She was too busy to think about whether she was beautiful or not.
"Good is the thing," she would say, in her brisk fashion. "If I can look in the glass and see the reflection of a good woman there, I have no right to regret that she is not a beautiful one."
"Good is what matters," she would say, in her lively way. "If I can look in the mirror and see the reflection of a good woman there, I have no reason to regret that she’s not a beautiful one."
Just now she was upstairs, busied with some matter of mysterious importance from which Nan was excluded. She and Delia had been shut into her room all the afternoon. Nan had ample time and opportunity for the manufacture of her own Christmas gifts, Aunt Isabel being so much occupied, behind closed door, with hers.
Just a minute ago, she was upstairs, caught up in some important, secretive issue that Nan wasn’t part of. She and Delia had been locked in her room all afternoon. Nan had plenty of time and opportunity to make her own Christmas gifts since Aunt Isabel was so busy behind closed doors with hers.
For quite a time now Nan had been forced to station herself in the regions below stairs, where she would hear the bell if it rang, so that Delia might be free to give all her attention to Miss Severance. Evidently great things were in operation above. Nan wondered what it could all be about.
For a while now, Nan had to stay in the lower areas of the house, where she could hear the bell if it rang, so Delia could focus entirely on Miss Severance. Clearly, something big was happening upstairs. Nan wondered what it could be about.
Christmas had lost much of its joyousness this year, but still there was a little flavor of merriment left. Aunt Isabel had no sympathy with the hark-from-the-tombs-a-doleful-sound attitude. She thought it was one's duty to be as cheery and hopeful as possible, and not to add to the misery of the world at large by forcing it to witness one's private grief. She and Nan had their hours of tender mourning and sincere regret, but it was always Miss Severance's desire that no unwholesome brooding should be indulged in by either of them.
Christmas had lost much of its joy this year, but there was still a little bit of cheer left. Aunt Isabel didn’t agree with the gloomy, “hark-from-the-tombs” attitude. She believed it was important to be as cheerful and hopeful as possible, and not to contribute to the world’s misery by making everyone witness one’s private sorrow. She and Nan had their moments of heartfelt mourning and genuine regret, but Miss Severance always wanted to ensure that neither of them indulged in any unhealthy brooding.
So the girl tried to restrain the tears that would rise at the thought of these saddened holidays, and endeavored to bring her mind to bear on more happy subjects. She thought of her plans for the next day; she made a mental recount of the gifts she had prepared, and then, somehow against her will, her memory took her back to that morning when she had heard of her father's death and listened to Miss Severance's story, and she lived over again those intense moments when it almost seemed to her her mother had been restored to her in this rare friend. The simple history had a peculiar fascination for the girl, and she liked to think that it was here, in these very rooms, that it all had been enacted.
So the girl tried to hold back the tears that came up at the thought of these sad holidays and worked to focus on happier topics. She thought about her plans for the next day; she mentally went through the gifts she had prepared, and then, almost against her will, her mind drifted back to that morning when she heard about her father's death and listened to Miss Severance's story. She relived those intense moments when it almost felt like her mother had been brought back to her through this rare friend. The simple story had a unique fascination for her, and she liked to think that it was right here, in these very rooms, that it all had taken place.
She liked to look into those books of Miss Severance's that had her mother's name upon the fly-leaf, and she liked to think that they were given to "Bell with Florence's fond love."
She enjoyed looking at those books of Miss Severance's that had her mother's name on the flyleaf, and she liked to imagine they were given to "Bell with Florence's love."
Miss Severance had several photographs of her mother as a girl that Nan had never seen, and she was fond of looking them over and exclaiming at the "old-fashioned" frocks and quaintly arranged hair, and wondering whether this happy-looking girl ever discovered the sacrifice her friend had made for her.
Miss Severance had several photos of her mother as a girl that Nan had never seen, and she loved looking at them, exclaiming over the "old-fashioned" dresses and the uniquely styled hair, and wondering if this happy-looking girl ever realized the sacrifice her friend had made for her.
One day Nan asked Miss Severance as much, but Aunt Isabel had shaken her head gravely and said:
One day, Nan asked Miss Severance that question, but Aunt Isabel had nodded her head solemnly and said:
"No, Nan, she never did. And don't think of that part of the story, my dear. It was no more than I ought to have done. You must not make a piece of heroism of it. I only told it to you because unless I had, it would have been difficult to explain why I left her and went so far away."
"No, Nan, she never did. And don’t dwell on that part of the story, my dear. It was just something I should have done. You shouldn’t turn it into a big deal. I only shared it with you because if I hadn’t, it would’ve been hard to explain why I left her and went so far away."
"Aunt Isabel," Nan said, "won't you tell me just what it was you gave up?" But Miss Severance shook her head.
"Aunt Isabel," Nan said, "can you tell me what you gave up?" But Miss Severance shook her head.
What the girl could not at all comprehend was the fact of any one's being "not at peace" with Aunt Isabel. Aunt Isabel, who never was unjust nor unkind, nor anything but generous and good to every one. She thought if she could have spoken to her father she could have convinced him that he was mistaken about Aunt Isabel. But that was impossible now. Her father—again the hot tears came surging up, and her breast began to heave.
What the girl couldn’t understand at all was how anyone could be "not at peace" with Aunt Isabel. Aunt Isabel was never unfair or unkind; she was always generous and good to everyone. She believed that if she could have talked to her father, she could have changed his mind about Aunt Isabel. But that was impossible now. Her father—once again, the hot tears filled her eyes, and her chest started to heave.
Suddenly she started. What was that? She jumped to her feet. Somebody was turning the knob of the street door and fitting a key in the lock. At first it was her impulse to cry out, but she mastered herself and ran quickly through the parlor and stood bravely on the threshold waiting for the door to open and admit the intruder. Her heart beat like a trip-hammer in her side, and the pulses in her wrists and temples throbbed painfully. She saw the door move inward, she felt the rush of cold outer air upon her face, and then—
Suddenly, she jumped. What was that? She sprang to her feet. Someone was turning the knob of the front door and trying to fit a key into the lock. At first, she wanted to shout, but she gathered herself and quickly ran through the living room, standing bravely at the threshold, waiting for the door to open and reveal the intruder. Her heart raced in her chest, and she could feel the pulse in her wrists and temples throb painfully. She saw the door start to open, felt the rush of cold outside air on her face, and then—
In a moment she was locked in two strong arms, her head was pressed against a dear, broad chest, and she was crying "Father! Father!" in a perfect ecstasy of rapture and a tempest of tears.
In an instant, she was wrapped in two strong arms, her head resting against a beloved, broad chest, as she cried out, "Dad! Dad!" in a complete whirlwind of joy and a flood of tears.
For a few moments neither of them said a single word. They just clung to each other and wept—the strong man as well as the slender girl.
For a few moments, neither of them spoke. They just held on to each other and cried—the strong man and the slender girl.
They seemed to lose all other thought in the joy of the meeting. Then somehow they found themselves in the library, and Nan, still sobbing for very happiness, was listening to her father as he told her how, for many months, he had been ill, but had tried to fight it off and overcome it, because he was so anxious to get home, and he could not bear to think he might be prevented. Then, just before his ship sailed, and after he had enrolled himself among the list of passengers, and bidden good-bye to those he knew, he was stricken down and for weeks lay unconscious, between life and death, as utterly unbefriended as though he had been in the midst of a wilderness. How he came to recover he never knew, but it seemed as though his great longing for home gave him strength to battle through the dreadful fever. Then, almost too feeble to stand, he was taken to the ship and borne to England, his body weak from suffering, but his heart strong with hope.
They seemed to forget everything else in the joy of being together. Then they somehow found themselves in the library, and Nan, still crying tears of happiness, listened to her father as he explained how he had been ill for many months but had tried to push through it and get better because he was so eager to come home, and he couldn't stand the thought of being held back. Just before his ship sailed, after he had signed up as a passenger and said goodbye to everyone he knew, he collapsed and lay unconscious for weeks, caught between life and death, completely without support as if he were lost in the wilderness. He never understood how he managed to recover, but it seemed that his deep longing for home gave him the strength to fight through the terrible fever. Then, nearly too weak to stand, he was taken to the ship and carried to England, his body frail from suffering, but his heart full of hope.
The voyage was a severe one, and before he reached London he had a relapse, so that when they entered port he had to be carried ashore, and, too ill to know or care what happened to him, was taken to a lodging-house and nursed back to health once more by the keeper herself, whose son was the steward of the ship on which he had crossed.
The journey was a tough one, and before he got to London, he had a setback, so when they arrived at the port he had to be carried off the ship. Too sick to notice or care about what was happening, he was taken to a boarding house and nursed back to health again by the owner, whose son was the steward of the ship he had traveled on.
"You can fancy, Nannie, that I had only one thought all that time—to get back to you. The first move I was able to make was to the ship, and I sailed without having seen or spoken to a soul I knew in London. Then on board I met a friend, who told me of the report of my death, and I knew that you must have heard it. The people at the bank would communicate with Turner, I felt sure. Ah, what days those were! It seemed as though we should never reach land. But we got in to-day, and you can imagine that I have not lost one moment in coming to you, sweetheart. But how my girl has changed. Grown so tall and womanly. I'm afraid I've lost my little Wildfire. But the girl I've found in her stead is a hundred times dearer."
"You can imagine, Nannie, that I only had one thought the whole time—to get back to you. The first move I could make was to the ship, and I sailed without seeing or speaking to anyone I knew in London. Then on board, I ran into a friend who told me about the rumors of my death, and I realized you must have heard it. I was sure the people at the bank would reach out to Turner. Oh, those days felt endless! It seemed like we would never reach land. But we arrived today, and you can guess that I wasted no time coming to you, sweetheart. But how my girl has changed. She’s grown so tall and womanly. I’m afraid I’ve lost my little Wildfire. But the girl I’ve found in her place is a hundred times more precious."
Then Nan clung to him again and they were very happy, feeling how good God was, and how very blessed it felt to be together.
Then Nan hugged him again, and they were really happy, feeling how good God was and how truly blessed it felt to be together.
For a while they both stopped talking and sat quite still, holding hands, while each heart offered up a prayer of gratitude.
For a while, they both fell silent and sat still, holding hands, while each heart sent up a thank-you prayer.
They did not hear an upper door open, nor did they notice a light footstep in the hall above. But at the sound of a gentle voice calling "Nan!" they both started up, and the girl's grasp of her father's hand tightened, for she felt him suddenly start and tremble. She tried to answer but could not for the joy she felt and the quick fear of this other loss she would have to suffer now.
They didn't hear an upper door open, and they didn't notice a light footstep in the hall above. But when they heard a gentle voice calling "Nan!" they both jumped up, and the girl tightened her grip on her father's hand because she felt him suddenly start and shake. She tried to respond but couldn’t because of the joy she felt and the sudden fear of the other loss she would have to face now.
"Nan!"
"Grandma!"
Still the girl could not reply, though she tried, and her father's face had grown rigid and white, as though it were carved in marble.
Still, the girl couldn't respond, even though she tried, and her father's face had become stiff and pale, as if it were carved from marble.
Then down the stairs and through the hall came Aunt Isabel, stopping at the threshold of the dining-room door for a moment to accustom her eyes to the dimness within.
Then down the stairs and through the hall came Aunt Isabel, pausing at the threshold of the dining room door for a moment to let her eyes adjust to the dim light inside.
There she stood—the bright light from the hall lamp falling full upon her head and the ruddy glow of the fire illuminating her face.
There she stood—the bright light from the hall lamp shining directly on her head and the warm glow of the fire lighting up her face.
Nan caught up her father's hand, for she felt him suddenly shrink and falter.
Nan grabbed her father's hand because she felt him suddenly pull back and hesitate.
The little figure in the doorway neither stirred or moved.
The small figure in the doorway didn’t stir or move.
For an instant there was perfect silence in the room, and then Nan saw her father stride forward with a look of the most wonderful happiness upon his face, and heard him utter one word in a tone that set her heart to beating.
For a moment, there was complete silence in the room, and then Nan saw her father walk forward with an expression of pure joy on his face, and she heard him say one word in a tone that made her heart race.
"Bell!"
"Ring!"
And somehow then she knew it all. In one brief flash she read the whole story, and she saw that it was to be completed at last, and that the loss she had feared she would not know at all, but something infinitely happier and more sweet.
And somehow she understood everything in that moment. In a quick flash, she grasped the entire story, realizing it was finally going to be completed, and that the loss she had dreaded would not touch her at all, but something far happier and sweeter.
THE END
THE END
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