This is a modern-English version of Dear Enemy, originally written by Webster, Jean.
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![[Illustration]](images/cover.jpg)
DEAR ENEMY
By Jean Webster
STONE GATE, WORCESTER, MASSACHUSETTS,
Stone Gate, Worcester, MA
December 27.
December 27th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Your letter is here. I have read it twice, and with amazement. Do I understand that Jervis has given you, for a Christmas present, the making over of the John Grier Home into a model institution, and that you have chosen me to disburse the money? Me—I, Sallie McBride, the head of an orphan asylum! My poor people, have you lost your senses, or have you become addicted to the use of opium, and is this the raving of two fevered imaginations? I am exactly as well fitted to take care of one hundred children as to become the curator of a zoo.
Your letter has arrived. I’ve read it twice, and I’m stunned. Am I to understand that Jervis gave you the transformation of the John Grier Home into a top-notch institution as a Christmas gift, and that you’ve chosen me to manage the funds? Me—I, Sallie McBride, the head of an orphanage! My goodness, have you lost your mind, or are you under the influence of something, and is this just the craziness of two overtaxed brains? I’m just as qualified to care for one hundred children as I am to run a zoo.
And you offer as bait an interesting Scotch doctor? My dear Judy,—likewise my dear Jervis,—I see through you! I know exactly the kind of family conference that has been held about the Pendleton fireside.
And you’re using an intriguing Scotch doctor as bait? My dear Judy,—and my dear Jervis,—I see right through you! I know exactly what kind of family meeting has been going on by the Pendleton fireside.
"Isn't it a pity that Sallie hasn't amounted to more since she left college? She ought to be doing something useful instead of frittering her time away in the petty social life of Worcester. Also [Jervis speaks] she is getting interested in that confounded young Hallock, too good-looking and fascinating and erratic; I never did like politicians. We must deflect her mind with some uplifting and absorbing occupation until the danger is past. Ha! I have it! We will put her in charge of the John Grier Home." Oh, I can hear him as clearly as if I were there! On the occasion of my last visit in your delectable household Jervis and I had a very solemn conversation in regard to (1) marriage, (2) the low ideals of politicians, (3) the frivolous, useless lives that society women lead.
"Isn't it a shame that Sallie hasn't achieved more since graduating from college? She should be doing something meaningful instead of wasting her time on the trivial social scene in Worcester. Also, [Jervis speaks] she's getting interested in that infuriating young Hallock—too attractive, charming, and unpredictable; I've never liked politicians. We need to distract her with some uplifting and engaging activity until this danger passes. Ha! I’ve got it! We’ll put her in charge of the John Grier Home." Oh, I can hear him as if I were right there! During my last visit to your lovely home, Jervis and I had a very serious discussion about (1) marriage, (2) the low standards of politicians, and (3) the pointless, idle lives that society women lead.
Please tell your moral husband that I took his words deeply to heart, and that ever since my return to Worcester I have been spending one afternoon a week reading poetry with the inmates of the Female Inebriate Asylum. My life is not so purposeless as it appears.
Please let your moral husband know that I really took his words to heart, and ever since I got back to Worcester, I’ve been spending one afternoon a week reading poetry with the residents of the Female Inebriate Asylum. My life isn't as aimless as it seems.
Also let me assure you that the politician is not dangerously imminent; and that, anyway, he is a very desirable politician, even though his views on tariff and single tax and trade-unionism do not exactly coincide with Jervis's.
Also let me assure you that the politician is not a threat right now; and that, anyway, he is a very appealing politician, even though his opinions on tariffs, single tax, and trade unions don't exactly match Jervis's.
Your desire to dedicate my life to the public good is very sweet, but you should look at it from the asylum's point of view.
Your wish to dedicate my life to helping others is really kind, but you should consider it from the asylum's perspective.
Have you no pity for those poor defenseless little orphan children?
Have you no compassion for those poor, defenseless little orphan kids?
I have, if you haven't, and I respectfully decline the position which you offer.
I have, if you haven't, and I respectfully decline the position you're offering.
I shall be charmed, however, to accept your invitation to visit you in New York, though I must acknowledge that I am not very excited over the list of gaieties you have planned.
I would be delighted to accept your invitation to visit you in New York, although I have to admit that I'm not very enthusiastic about the list of social events you have arranged.
Please substitute for the New York Orphanage and the Foundling Hospital a few theaters and operas and a dinner or so. I have two new evening gowns and a blue and gold coat with a white fur collar.
Please replace the New York Orphanage and the Foundling Hospital with a few theaters and operas and a dinner or two. I have two new evening gowns and a blue and gold coat with a white fur collar.
I dash to pack them; so telegraph fast if you don't wish to see me for myself alone, but only as a successor to Mrs. Lippett. Yours as ever,
I rush to pack them; so message me quickly if you don’t want to see me for who I am, but only as Mrs. Lippett’s replacement. Yours always,
Entirely frivolous,
Completely pointless,
And intending to remain so,
And planning to stay that way,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
P.S. Your invitation is especially seasonable. A charming young politician named Gordon Hallock is to be in New York next week. I am sure you will like him when you know him better. P.S. 2. Sallie taking her afternoon walk as Judy would like to see her:
P.S. Your invitation is perfectly timed. A charming young politician named Gordon Hallock will be in New York next week. I'm sure you'll like him once you get to know him better. P.S. 2. Sallie taking her afternoon walk as Judy would like to see her:
I ask you again, have you both gone mad?
I ask you again, have you both lost your minds?
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
February 15.
February 15th.
Dear Judy:
Dear Judy,
We arrived in a snowstorm at eleven last night, Singapore and Jane and I. It does not appear to be customary for superintendents of orphan asylums to bring with them personal maids and Chinese chows. The night watchman and housekeeper, who had waited up to receive me, were thrown into an awful flutter. They had never seen the like of Sing, and thought that I was introducing a wolf into the fold. I reassured them as to his dogginess, and the watchman, after studying his black tongue, ventured a witticism. He wanted to know if I fed him on huckleberry pie.
We arrived in a snowstorm at eleven last night—Singapore, Jane, and I. It doesn't seem to be common for superintendents of orphanages to bring personal maids and Chinese Chows. The night watchman and housekeeper, who stayed up to welcome me, were in quite a panic. They had never seen anyone like Sing and thought I was bringing a wolf into the mix. I reassured them about his dog nature, and the watchman, after examining his black tongue, made a joke. He asked if I fed him huckleberry pie.
It was difficult to find accommodations for my family. Poor Sing was dragged off whimpering to a strange woodshed, and given a piece of burlap. Jane did not fare much better. There was not an extra bed in the building, barring a five-foot crib in the hospital room. She, as you know, approaches six. We tucked her in, and she spent the night folded up like a jackknife. She has limped about today, looking like a decrepit letter S, openly deploring this latest escapade on the part of her flighty mistress, and longing for the time when we shall come to our senses, and return to the parental fireside in Worcester.
It was hard to find a place for my family to stay. Poor Sing was taken away whimpering to a strange woodshed and given a piece of burlap. Jane didn’t have it much better. There wasn’t an extra bed in the whole building, except for a five-foot crib in the hospital room. As you know, she’s almost six. We tucked her in, and she spent the night folded up like a jackknife. She’s been limping around today, looking like a worn-out letter S, openly complaining about this latest adventure because of her unpredictable caretaker, and wishing for the day when we’ll come to our senses and go back to the family home in Worcester.
I know that she is going to spoil all my chances of being popular with the rest of the staff. Having her here is the silliest idea that was ever conceived, but you know my family. I fought their objections step by step, but they made their last stand on Jane. If I brought her along to see that I ate nourishing food and didn't stay up all night, I might come—temporarily; but if I refused to bring her—oh, dear me, I am not sure that I was ever again to cross the threshold of Stone Gate! So here we are, and neither of us very welcome, I am afraid.
I know she’s going to ruin my chances of being liked by the rest of the staff. Having her here is the dumbest idea ever, but you know my family. I fought against their objections one by one, but they made their final stand on Jane. If I brought her along to make sure I ate healthy food and didn’t stay up all night, I might have a chance—temporarily; but if I refused to bring her—oh gosh, I’m not sure I’d ever be allowed back at Stone Gate! So here we are, and I’m afraid neither of us is very welcome.
I woke by a gong at six this morning, and lay for a time listening to the racket that twenty-five little girls made in the lavatory over my head. It appears that they do not get baths,—just face-washes,—but they make as much splashing as twenty-five puppies in a pool. I rose and dressed and explored a bit. You were wise in not having me come to look the place over before I engaged.
I woke up to a gong at six this morning and lay there for a while listening to the noise that twenty-five little girls were making in the bathroom above me. It seems they don’t take baths—just wash their faces—but they make as much splashing as twenty-five puppies in a pool. I got up, got dressed, and did some exploring. You were smart not to have me come check the place out before I agreed to it.
While my little charges were at breakfast, it seemed a happy time to introduce myself; so I sought the dining room. Horror piled on horror—those bare drab walls and oil-cloth-covered tables with tin cups and plates and wooden benches, and, by way of decoration, that one illuminated text, "The Lord Will Provide"! The trustee who added that last touch must possess a grim sense of humor.
While my little charges were having breakfast, it seemed like a good time to introduce myself, so I headed to the dining room. What a nightmare—those plain, dull walls and the tables covered in oilcloth with tin cups and plates and wooden benches, and for decoration, that one illuminated text, "The Lord Will Provide"! The trustee who added that last detail must have a dark sense of humor.
Really, Judy, I never knew there was any spot in the world so entirely ugly; and when I saw those rows and rows of pale, listless, blue-uniformed children, the whole dismal business suddenly struck me with such a shock that I almost collapsed. It seemed like an unachievable goal for one person to bring sunshine to one hundred little faces when what they need is a mother apiece.
Really, Judy, I never knew there was a place in the world that was so completely ugly; and when I saw those rows and rows of pale, lifeless kids in blue uniforms, the whole depressing situation hit me with such a shock that I almost fell apart. It felt like an impossible task for one person to bring joy to a hundred little faces when what they really need is a mother for each of them.
I plunged into this thing lightly enough, partly because you were too persuasive, and mostly, I honestly think, because that scurrilous Gordon Hallock laughed so uproariously at the idea of my being able to manage an asylum. Between you all you hypnotized me. And then of course, after I began reading up on the subject and visiting all those seventeen institutions, I got excited over orphans, and wanted to put my own ideas into practice. But now I'm aghast at finding myself here; it's such a stupendous undertaking. The future health and happiness of a hundred human beings lie in my hands, to say nothing of their three or four hundred children and thousand grandchildren. The thing's geometrically progressive. It's awful. Who am I to undertake this job? Look, oh, look for another superintendent!
I jumped into this thing a bit too easily, partly because you were really convincing, and mostly, I honestly think, because that ridiculous Gordon Hallock laughed so hard at the idea of me running an asylum. Between all of you, you hypnotized me. Then, of course, after I started reading up on the topic and visiting all those seventeen institutions, I got really enthusiastic about orphans and wanted to try out my own ideas. But now I'm shocked to find myself here; it’s such a massive responsibility. The future health and happiness of a hundred people depend on me, not to mention their three or four hundred kids and a thousand grandkids. It’s exponentially overwhelming. It’s terrifying. Who am I to take on this role? Please, for the love of everything, find another superintendent!
Jane says dinner's ready. Having eaten two of your institution meals, the thought of another doesn't excite me.
Jane says dinner's ready. After eating two of your institution meals, the thought of having another doesn’t thrill me.
LATER.
Later.
The staff had mutton hash and spinach, with tapioca pudding for dessert. What the children had I hate to consider.
The staff had mutton hash and spinach, with tapioca pudding for dessert. I dread to think about what the children had.
I started to tell you about my first official speech at breakfast this morning. It dealt with all the wonderful new changes that are to come to the John Grier Home through the generosity of Mr. Jervis Pendleton, the president of our board of trustees, and of Mrs. Pendleton, the dear "Aunt Judy" of every little boy and girl here.
I began to share with you about my first official speech at breakfast this morning. It was about all the amazing new changes that are coming to the John Grier Home thanks to the generosity of Mr. Jervis Pendleton, the president of our board of trustees, and Mrs. Pendleton, the beloved "Aunt Judy" to every little boy and girl here.
Please don't object to my featuring the Pendleton family so prominently. I did it for political reasons. As the entire working staff of the institution was present, I thought it a good opportunity to emphasize the fact that all of these upsetting, innovations come straight from headquarters, and not out of my excitable brain.
Please don't mind me highlighting the Pendleton family so much. I did it for political reasons. Since the whole team was present, I thought it was a good chance to point out that all these disruptive changes are coming directly from headquarters, not from my overactive imagination.
The children stopped eating and stared. The conspicuous color of my hair and the frivolous tilt of my nose are evidently new attributes in a superintendent. My colleagues also showed plainly that they consider me too young and too inexperienced to be set in authority. I haven't seen Jervis's wonderful Scotch doctor yet, but I assure you that he will have to be VERY wonderful to make up for the rest of these people, especially the kindergarten teacher. Miss Snaith and I clashed early on the subject of fresh air; but I intend to get rid of this dreadful institution smell, if I freeze every child into a little ice statue.
The kids stopped eating and stared. The obvious color of my hair and the playful tilt of my nose are clearly new features in a superintendent. My coworkers also made it clear that they think I'm too young and inexperienced for a position of authority. I haven't met Jervis's amazing Scottish doctor yet, but I can assure you he'll need to be REALLY amazing to make up for the rest of these people, especially the kindergarten teacher. Miss Snaith and I butted heads early on about fresh air; but I plan to eliminate this awful institutional smell, even if it means turning every child into a little ice statue.
This being a sunny, sparkling, snowy afternoon, I ordered that dungeon of a playroom closed and the children out of doors.
This being a sunny, sparkling, snowy afternoon, I commanded that dungeon of a playroom to be closed and sent the children outside.
"She's chasin' us out," I heard one small urchin grumbling as he struggled into a two-years-too-small overcoat.
"She's chasing us out," I heard a small kid grumbling as he awkwardly got into an overcoat that was two sizes too small.
They simply stood about the yard, all humped in their clothes, waiting patiently to be allowed to come back in. No running or shouting or coasting or snowballs. Think of it! These children don't know how to play.
They just stood around the yard, all hunched in their clothes, waiting patiently to be allowed back inside. No running, shouting, skating, or snowball fights. Can you believe it? These kids don’t know how to play.
STILL LATER.
STILL LATER.
I have already begun the congenial task of spending your money. I bought eleven hot-water bottles this afternoon (every one that the village drug store contained) likewise some woolen blankets and padded quilts. And the windows are wide open in the babies' dormitory. Those poor little tots are going to enjoy the perfectly new sensation of being able to breathe at night.
I have already started the pleasant job of spending your money. I bought eleven hot-water bottles this afternoon (all that the village pharmacy had) along with some wool blankets and insulated quilts. And the windows are wide open in the babies' dorm room. Those poor little ones are going to experience the brand new feeling of being able to breathe at night.
There are a million things I want to grumble about, but it's half-past ten, and Jane says I MUST go to bed.
There are a million things I want to complain about, but it's 10:30, and Jane says I HAVE to go to bed.
Yours in command,
Yours in charge,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
P.S. Before turning in, I tiptoed through the corridor to make sure that all was right, and what do you think I found? Miss Snaith softly closing the windows in the babies' dormitory! Just as soon as I can find a suitable position for her in an old ladies' home, I am going to discharge that woman.
P.S. Before going to bed, I quietly walked through the hallway to make sure everything was okay, and guess what I found? Miss Snaith gently closing the windows in the babies' dorm! As soon as I can find a good place for her in a retirement home, I’m going to let that woman go.
Jane takes the pen from my hand.
Jane takes the pen from my hand.
Good night.
Good night.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
February 20.
February 20th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Dr. Robin MacRae called this afternoon to make the acquaintance of the new superintendent. Please invite him to dinner upon the occasion of his next visit to New York, and see for yourself what your husband has done. Jervis grossly misrepresented the facts when he led me to believe that one of the chief advantages of my position would be the daily intercourse with a man of Dr. MacRae's polish and brilliancy and scholarliness and charm.
Dr. Robin MacRae called this afternoon to meet the new superintendent. Please invite him to dinner during his next visit to New York, and check out what your husband has accomplished. Jervis seriously misled me when he made me think that one of the main perks of my position would be the daily interaction with someone as refined, brilliant, scholarly, and charming as Dr. MacRae.
He is tall and thinnish, with sandy hair and cold gray eyes. During the hour he spent in my society (and I was very sprightly) no shadow of a smile so much as lightened the straight line of his mouth. Can a shadow lighten? Maybe not; but, anyway, what IS the matter with the man? Has he committed some remorseful crime, or is his taciturnity due merely to his natural Scotchness? He's as companionable as a granite tombstone!
He is tall and somewhat thin, with sandy hair and cold gray eyes. During the hour he spent with me (and I was quite lively), not even a hint of a smile broke the straight line of his mouth. Can a hint lighten? Maybe not; but still, what’s wrong with the guy? Has he done something regretful, or is his silence just because he’s naturally Scottish? He’s as friendly as a granite tombstone!
Incidentally, our doctor didn't like me any more than I liked him. He thinks I'm frivolous and inconsequential, and totally unfitted for this position of trust. I dare say Jervis has had a letter from him by now asking to have me removed.
Incidentally, our doctor disliked me just as much as I disliked him. He thinks I’m shallow and unimportant, and completely unqualified for this position of trust. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jervis has already received a letter from him requesting that I be removed.
In the matter of conversation we didn't hit it off in the least. He discussed broadly and philosophically the evils of institutional care for dependent children, while I lightly deplored the unbecoming coiffure that prevails among our girls.
In terms of conversation, we didn't connect at all. He talked extensively and philosophically about the problems with institutional care for dependent children, while I casually complained about the unflattering hairstyles that our girls have.
To prove my point, I had in Sadie Kate, my special errand orphan. Her hair is strained back as tightly as though it had been done with a monkey wrench, and is braided behind into two wiry little pigtails. Decidedly, orphans' ears need to be softened. But Dr. Robin MacRae doesn't give a hang whether their ears are becoming or not; what he cares about is their stomachs. We also split upon the subject of red petticoats. I don't see how any little girl can preserve any self-respect when dressed in a red flannel petticoat an irregular inch longer than her blue checked gingham dress; but he thinks that red petticoats are cheerful and warm and hygienic. I foresee a warlike reign for the new superintendent.
To make my point, I had Sadie Kate, my special errand orphan. Her hair is pulled back so tightly it looks like it was done with a wrench, and it's braided into two wiry little pigtails. Honestly, orphans' ears could use some softening. But Dr. Robin MacRae couldn't care less whether their ears are cute; he’s more concerned about their stomachs. We also disagree on the topic of red petticoats. I can’t see how any little girl can maintain any self-respect while wearing a red flannel petticoat that’s a random inch longer than her blue checked gingham dress; but he believes that red petticoats are cheerful, warm, and hygienic. I can already predict a tumultuous time for the new superintendent.
In regard to the doctor, there is just one detail to be thankful for: he is almost as new as I am, and he cannot instruct me in the traditions of the asylum. I don't believe I COULD have worked with the old doctor, who, judging from the specimens of his art that he left behind, knew as much about babies as a veterinary surgeon.
When it comes to the doctor, there's just one thing to appreciate: he’s almost as inexperienced as I am, and he can't teach me the asylum's traditions. I honestly don’t think I could have worked with the old doctor, who, judging by the samples of his work that he left behind, knew about babies as much as a vet does.
In the matter of asylum etiquette, the entire staff has undertaken my education. Even the cook this morning told me firmly that the John Grier Home has corn meal mush on Wednesday nights.
In terms of asylum etiquette, the whole staff has taken it upon themselves to teach me. Even the cook this morning told me firmly that the John Grier Home serves cornmeal mush on Wednesday nights.
Are you searching hard for another superintendent? I'll stay until she comes, but please find her fast.
Are you looking really hard for another superintendent? I'll stick around until she arrives, but please find her quickly.
Yours,
Best,
With my mind made up,
I've made up my mind,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
SUP'T'S OFFICE, JOHN GRIER HOME,
SUP'T'S OFFICE, JOHN GRIER HOME,
February 27.
February 27th.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
Are you still insulted because I wouldn't take your advice? Don't you know that a reddish-haired person of Irish forebears, with a dash of Scotch, can't be driven, but must be gently led? Had you been less obnoxiously insistent, I should have listened sweetly, and been saved. As it is, I frankly confess that I have spent the last five days in repenting our quarrel. You were right, and I was wrong, and, as you see, I handsomely acknowledge it. If I ever emerge from this present predicament, I shall in the future be guided (almost always) by your judgment. Could any woman make a more sweeping retraction than that?
Are you still upset because I didn’t take your advice? Don’t you realize that someone with reddish hair and Irish roots, with a hint of Scotch, can’t be pushed but needs to be gently guided? If you hadn’t been so annoyingly persistent, I would have listened nicely and saved myself the trouble. As it stands, I honestly admit that I’ve spent the last five days regretting our argument. You were right, and I was wrong, and as you can see, I’m fully admitting it. If I ever get out of this current situation, I promise to be guided (almost always) by your judgment in the future. Could any woman make a bigger apology than that?
The romantic glamour which Judy cast over this orphan asylum exists only in her poetic imagination. The place is AWFUL. Words can't tell you how dreary and dismal and smelly it is: long corridors, bare walls; blue-uniformed, dough-faced little inmates that haven't the slightest resemblance to human children. And oh, the dreadful institution smell! A mingling of wet scrubbed floors, unaired rooms, and food for a hundred people always steaming on the stove.
The romantic charm that Judy envisioned for this orphanage exists only in her imagination. The place is TERRIBLE. Words can’t express how dreary, depressing, and stinky it is: long hallways, bare walls; kids in blue uniforms with doughy faces, who don’t resemble normal children at all. And oh, the awful institutional smell! It’s a mix of damp, scrubbed floors, stuffy rooms, and food for a hundred people constantly simmering on the stove.
The asylum not only has to be made over, but every child as well, and it's too herculean a task for such a selfish, luxurious, and lazy person as Sallie McBride ever to have undertaken. I'm resigning the very first moment that Judy can find a suitable successor, but that, I fear, will not be immediately. She has gone off South, leaving me stranded, and of course, after having promised, I can't simply abandon her asylum. But in the meantime I assure you that I'm homesick.
The asylum needs a complete makeover, and every child does too, which is way too much for someone as selfish, spoiled, and lazy as Sallie McBride to handle. I'm planning to resign as soon as Judy can find someone to take my place, but I’m worried that won’t happen anytime soon. She has gone down South, leaving me stuck here, and even though I promised, I can’t just leave her asylum behind. But in the meantime, I want you to know that I miss home.
Write me a cheering letter, and send a flower to brighten my private drawing room. I inherited it, furnished, from Mrs. Lippett. The wall is covered with a tapestry paper in brown and red; the furniture is electric-blue plush, except the center table, which is gilt. Green predominates in the carpet. If you presented some pink rosebuds, they would complete the color scheme.
Write me an uplifting letter and send a flower to brighten my private living room. I inherited it, fully furnished, from Mrs. Lippett. The walls are covered with tapestry wallpaper in brown and red; the furniture is electric blue plush, except for the center table, which is gold. Green dominates the carpet. If you brought some pink rosebuds, they would complete the color scheme.
I really was obnoxious that last evening, but you are avenged.
I was really annoying that last evening, but you got your revenge.
Remorsefully yours,
Sincerely sorry,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
P.S. You needn't have been so grumpy about the Scotch doctor. The man is everything dour that the word "Scotch" implies. I detest him on sight, and he detests me. Oh, we're going to have a sweet time working together
P.S. You didn't have to be so grumpy about the Scottish doctor. The guy is exactly what you think of when you hear "Scottish." I can't stand him from the moment I saw him, and he can't stand me either. Oh, we're going to have a great time working together.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
February 22.
February 22nd.
My dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
Your vigorous and expensive message is here. I know that you have plenty of money, but that is no reason why you should waste it so frivolously. When you feel so bursting with talk that only a hundred-word telegram will relieve an explosion, at least turn it into a night lettergram. My orphans can use the money if you don't need it.
Your lively and costly message has arrived. I know you have a lot of money, but that’s no reason to waste it so carelessly. When you’re so eager to chat that only a hundred-word telegram will do, at least make it a night lettergram. My orphans could really use the funds if you don’t need them.
Also, my dear sir, please use a trifle of common sense. Of course I can't chuck the asylum in the casual manner you suggest. It wouldn't be fair to Judy and Jervis. If you will pardon the statement, they have been my friends for many more years than you, and I have no intention of letting them go hang. I came up here in a spirit of—well, say adventure, and I must see the venture through. You wouldn't like me if I were a short sport. This doesn't mean, however, that I am sentencing myself for life; I am intending to resign just as soon as the opportunity comes. But really I ought to feel somewhat gratified that the Pendletons were willing to trust me with such a responsible post. Though you, my dear sir, do not suspect it, I possess considerable executive ability, and more common sense than is visible on the surface. If I chose to put my whole soul into this enterprise, I could make the rippingest superintendent that any 111 orphans ever had.
Also, my dear sir, please use a bit of common sense. Of course I can't just leave the asylum like you suggest. It wouldn't be fair to Judy and Jervis. If you’ll forgive me for saying so, they’ve been my friends for many more years than you, and I have no intention of abandoning them. I came here looking for—let’s say adventure, and I need to see it through. You wouldn't like me if I were the type to quit easily. This doesn’t mean, however, that I’m locking myself in for life; I plan to resign as soon as I get the chance. But honestly, I should feel somewhat flattered that the Pendletons trusted me with such an important position. Even though you may not realize it, I have significant executive ability, and more common sense than might be obvious at first. If I decided to fully commit to this role, I could be the best superintendent any of these 111 orphans have ever had.
I suppose you think that's funny? It's true. Judy and Jervis know it, and that's why they asked me to come. So you see, when they have shown so much confidence in me, I can't throw them over in quite the unceremonious fashion you suggest. So long as I am here, I am going to accomplish just as much as it is given one person to accomplish every twenty-four hours. I am going to turn the place over to my successor with things moving fast in the right direction.
I guess you think that's funny? Well, it's true. Judy and Jervis know it, and that's why they asked me to come. So, since they have shown so much trust in me, I can't just abandon them in the casual way you suggest. As long as I'm here, I'm going to achieve as much as one person can in a day. I'm going to hand things over to my successor with everything running smoothly in the right direction.
But in the meantime please don't wash your hands of me under the belief that I'm too busy to be homesick; for I'm not. I wake up every morning and stare at Mrs. Lippett's wallpaper in a sort of daze, feeling as though it's some bad dream, and I'm not really here. What on earth was I thinking of to turn my back upon my nice cheerful own home and the good times that by rights are mine? I frequently agree with your opinion of my sanity.
But in the meantime, please don’t cut ties with me, thinking that I’m too busy to feel homesick because I’m not. I wake up every morning and stare at Mrs. Lippett’s wallpaper in a sort of daze, feeling like this is a bad dream and that I’m not really here. What was I thinking when I turned my back on my nice, cheerful home and the good times that should be mine? I often agree with you about my sanity.
But why, may I ask, should you be making such a fuss? You wouldn't be seeing me in any case. Worcester is quite as far from Washington as the John Grier Home. And I will add, for your further comfort, that whereas there is no man in the neighborhood of this asylum who admires red hair, in Worcester there are several. Therefore, most difficult of men, please be appeased. I didn't come entirely to spite you. I wanted an adventure in life, and, oh dear! oh dear! I'm having it! PLEASE write soon, and cheer me up. Yours in sackcloth,
But may I ask, why are you making such a big deal out of this? You wouldn't be seeing me anyway. Worcester is just as far from Washington as the John Grier Home. And for your peace of mind, let me add that while there isn't a single guy around this place who likes red hair, there are quite a few in Worcester. So, please calm down, you difficult man. I didn't come just to annoy you. I wanted an adventure in life, and, oh dear! I'm definitely getting one! PLEASE write soon and lift my spirits. Yours in sackcloth,
SALLIE. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
SALLIE. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
February 24. Dear Judy:
Feb 24. Dear Judy:
You tell Jervis that I am not hasty at forming judgments. I have a sweet, sunny, unsuspicious nature, and I like everybody, almost. But no one could like that Scotch doctor. He NEVER smiles.
You tell Jervis that I'm not quick to judge. I have a cheerful, trusting personality, and I generally like everyone. But no one could possibly like that Scottish doctor. He NEVER smiles.
He paid me another visit this afternoon. I invited him to accommodate himself in one of Mrs. Lippett's electric-blue chairs, and then sat down opposite to enjoy the harmony. He was dressed in a mustard-colored homespun, with a dash of green and a glint of yellow in the weave, a "heather mixture" calculated to add life to a dull Scotch moor. Purple socks and a red tie, with an amethyst pin, completed the picture. Clearly, your paragon of a doctor is not going to be of much assistance in pulling up the esthetic tone of this establishment.
He came to visit me again this afternoon. I invited him to make himself comfortable in one of Mrs. Lippett's electric-blue chairs, and then I sat down across from him to enjoy the scene. He was wearing a mustard-colored homespun outfit, with a hint of green and a touch of yellow in the fabric, a "heather mix" designed to bring some life to a dull Scottish moor. Purple socks and a red tie, with an amethyst pin, finished off his look. Clearly, this ideal doctor isn't going to do much to improve the aesthetic vibe of this place.
During the fifteen minutes of his call he succinctly outlined all the changes he wishes to see accomplished in this institution. HE forsooth! And what, may I ask, are the duties of a superintendent? Is she merely a figurehead to take orders from the visiting physician?
During the fifteen minutes of his call, he clearly outlined all the changes he wants to see made in this institution. He, seriously! And what, may I ask, are the duties of a superintendent? Is she just a figurehead to take orders from the visiting physician?
It's up wi' the bonnets o' McBride and MacRae!
It's time for the hats of McBride and MacRae!
I am,
I'm,
Indignantly yours, SALLIE.
Indignantly yours, Sallie.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Monday.
Monday.
Dear Dr. MacRae:
Dear Dr. MacRae:
I am sending this note by Sadie Kate, as it seems impossible to reach you by telephone. Is the person who calls herself Mrs. McGur-rk and hangs up in the middle of a sentence your housekeeper? If she answers the telephone often, I don't see how your patients have any patience left.
I’m sending this note with Sadie Kate since it seems impossible to get in touch with you by phone. Is the person who calls herself Mrs. McGurk and hangs up in the middle of a sentence your housekeeper? If she answers the phone frequently, I don't know how your patients have any patience left.
As you did not come this morning, per agreement, and the painters did come, I was fain to choose a cheerful corn color to be placed upon the walls of your new laboratory room. I trust there is nothing unhygienic about corn color.
As you didn’t come this morning, as we agreed, and the painters did show up, I decided to go with a cheerful corn color for the walls of your new lab. I hope there’s nothing unclean about corn color.
Also, if you can spare a moment this afternoon, kindly motor yourself to Dr. Brice's on Water Street and look at the dentist's chair and appurtenances which are to be had at half-price. If all of the pleasant paraphernalia of his profession were here,—in a corner of your laboratory,—Dr. Brice could finish his 111 new patients with much more despatch than if we had to transport them separately to Water Street. Don't you think that's a useful idea? It came to me in the middle of the night, but as I never happened to buy a dentist's chair before, I'd appreciate some professional advice. Yours truly,
Also, if you can take a moment this afternoon, please drive over to Dr. Brice's on Water Street and check out the dentist's chair and equipment that are available at half-price. If all the nice tools of his trade were here—in a corner of your lab—Dr. Brice could see his 111 new patients much faster than if we had to take them to Water Street one by one. Don’t you think that's a great idea? It came to me in the middle of the night, but since I’ve never bought a dentist's chair before, I would appreciate some professional advice. Yours truly,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
March 1.
March 1st.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Do stop sending me telegrams!
Please stop sending me messages!
Of course I know that you want to know everything that is happening, and I would send a daily bulletin, but I truly don't find a minute. I am so tired when night comes that if it weren't for Jane's strict discipline, I should go to bed with my clothes on.
Of course I know you want to be updated on everything that's going on, and I would send a daily update, but I honestly can't find a minute. I'm so exhausted by the end of the day that if it weren't for Jane's strict rules, I'd probably just go to bed in my clothes.
Later, when we slip a little more into routine, and I can be sure that my assistants are all running off their respective jobs, I shall be the regularest correspondent you ever had.
Later, when we get more into a routine, and I can be sure that my assistants are all handling their respective jobs, I'll be the most reliable correspondent you've ever had.
It was five days ago, wasn't it, that I wrote? Things have been happening in those five days. The MacRae and I have mapped out a plan of campaign, and are stirring up this place to its sluggish depths. I like him less and less, but we have declared a sort of working truce. And the man IS a worker. I always thought I had sufficient energy myself, but when an improvement is to be introduced, I toil along panting in his wake. He is as stubborn and tenacious and bull-doggish as a Scotchman can be, but he does understand babies; that is, he understands their physiological aspects. He hasn't any more feeling for them personally than for so many frogs that he might happen to be dissecting.
It was five days ago, right, that I wrote? A lot has happened in those five days. The MacRae and I have planned our strategy and are shaking this place from its stagnant state. I like him less and less, but we’ve agreed to a sort of working truce. And the guy REALLY knows how to work. I always thought I had enough energy myself, but when there’s an improvement to be made, I find myself struggling to keep up with him. He’s as stubborn and persistent and tenacious as a Scotsman can be, but he does get the technical aspects of babies; that is, he understands their physiological side. He doesn't have any more personal feeling for them than he would for a bunch of frogs he might be dissecting.
Do you remember Jervis's holding forth one evening for an hour or so about our doctor's beautiful humanitarian ideals? C'EST A RIRE! The man merely regards the J. G. H. as his own private laboratory, where he can try out scientific experiments with no loving parents to object. I shouldn't be surprised anyday to find him introducing scarlet fever cultures into the babies' porridge in order to test a newly invented serum.
Do you remember Jervis talking for about an hour one evening about our doctor's amazing humanitarian ideals? C'EST A RIRE! He just sees the J. G. H. as his own private lab, where he can run scientific experiments without any caring parents to complain. I wouldn't be surprised to find him adding scarlet fever cultures to the babies' porridge to test some new serum he invented.
Of the house staff, the only two who strike me as really efficient are the primary teacher and the furnace-man. You should see how the children run to meet Miss Matthews and beg for caresses, and how painstakingly polite they are to the other teachers. Children are quick to size up character. I shall be very embarrassed if they are too polite to me.
Of the house staff, the only two who really seem efficient to me are the main teacher and the furnace guy. You should see how the kids rush to greet Miss Matthews and beg for affection, and how carefully polite they are to the other teachers. Kids are quick to understand character. I’ll be really embarrassed if they’re too polite to me.
Just as soon as I get my bearings a little, and know exactly what we need, I am going to accomplish some widespread discharging. I should like to begin with Miss Snaith; but I discover that she is the niece of one of our most generous trustees, and isn't exactly dischargeable. She's a vague, chinless, pale-eyed creature, who talks through her nose and breathes through her mouth. She can't say anything decisively and then stop; her sentences all trail off into incoherent murmurings. Every time I see the woman I feel an almost uncontrollable desire to take her by the shoulders and shake some decision into her. And Miss Snaith is the one who has had entire supervision of the seventeen little tots aged from two to five! But, anyway, even if I can't discharge her, I have reduced her to a subordinate position without her being aware of the fact.
As soon as I get my footing and figure out what we need, I'm going to make some significant changes. I want to start with Miss Snaith, but I find out she’s the niece of one of our most generous trustees, so she’s not really someone I can let go. She's this vague, chinless, pale-eyed person who talks through her nose and breathes through her mouth. She can never say anything clearly and then stop; her sentences just drift off into confusing mumblings. Every time I see her, I feel this overpowering urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake a decision out of her. And Miss Snaith is the one in charge of the seventeen little kids aged two to five! But still, even if I can’t let her go, I’ve managed to reduce her to a subordinate role without her even realizing it.
The doctor has found for me a charming girl who lives a few miles from here and comes in every day to manage the kindergarten. She has big, gentle, brown eyes, like a cow's, and motherly manners (she is just nineteen), and the babies love her.
The doctor has found me a lovely girl who lives a few miles away and comes in every day to run the kindergarten. She has big, gentle brown eyes, like a cow's, and a nurturing demeanor (she is only nineteen), and the kids adore her.
At the head of the nursery I have placed a jolly, comfortable middle-aged woman who has reared five of her own and has a hand with bairns. Our doctor also found her. You see, he is useful. She is technically under Miss Snaith, but is usurping dictatorship in a satisfactory fashion. I can now sleep at night without being afraid that my babies are being inefficiently murdered.
At the head of the nursery, I've placed a cheerful, comfortable middle-aged woman who has raised five of her own and is great with kids. Our doctor found her too. You see, he's helpful. She's technically under Miss Snaith, but she's stepping in and taking charge in a way that works well. I can now sleep at night without worrying that my babies are being poorly cared for.
You see, our reforms are getting started; and while I acquiesce with all the intelligence at my command to our doctor's basic scientific upheavals, still, they sometimes leave me cold. The problem that keeps churning and churning in my mind is: How can I ever instil enough love and warmth and sunshine into those bleak little lives? And I am not sure that the doctor's science will accomplish that.
You see, our reforms are underway; and while I agree with all the knowledge I have about our doctor's fundamental scientific changes, they still sometimes leave me feeling indifferent. The question that keeps going around in my mind is: How can I ever bring enough love, warmth, and sunshine into those dreary little lives? And I'm not convinced that the doctor's science will achieve that.
One of our most pressing INTELLIGENT needs just now is to get our records into coherent form. The books have been most outrageously unkept. Mrs. Lippett had a big black account book into which she jumbled any facts that happened to drift her way as to the children's family, their conduct, and their health. But for weeks at a time she didn't trouble to make an entry. If any adopting family wants to know a child's parentage, half the time we can't even tell where we got the child!
One of our biggest needs right now is to organize our records. The books have been extremely poorly maintained. Mrs. Lippett had a large black account book where she mixed in any details she received about the children's families, their behavior, and their health. But for weeks at a time, she didn't bother to make any entries. If a prospective adopting family wants to know a child's background, half the time we can’t even tell them where we got the child!
"Where did you come from, baby dear?"
"The blue sky opened, and I am here,"
"Where did you come from, sweet baby?"
"The blue sky opened up, and here I am,"
is an exact description of their arrival.
is an exact description of their arrival.
We need a field worker to travel about the country and pick up all the hereditary statistics she can about our chicks. It will be an easy matter, as most of them have relatives. What do you think of Janet Ware for the job? You remember what a shark she was in economics; she simply battened on tables and charts and surveys.
We need someone to travel around the country and gather all the hereditary statistics she can about our chicks. It should be a simple task since most of them have family. What do you think about Janet Ware for the position? Remember how skilled she was in economics? She really excelled with tables, charts, and surveys.
I have also to inform you that the John Grier Home is undergoing a very searching physical examination, and it is the shocking truth that out of the twenty-eight poor little rats so far examined only five are up to specification. And the five have not been here long.
I also need to let you know that the John Grier Home is undergoing a thorough physical examination, and it's shocking to reveal that out of the twenty-eight unfortunate little rats examined so far, only five meet the standards. And those five haven't been here for long.
Do you remember the ugly green reception room on the first floor? I have removed as much of its greenness as possible, and fitted it up as the doctor's laboratory. It contains scales and drugs and, most professional touch of all, a dentist's chair and one of those sweet grinding machines. (Bought them second-hand from Doctor Brice in the village, who is putting in, for the gratification of his own patients, white enamel and nickel-plate.) That drilling machine is looked upon as an infernal engine, and I as an infernal monster for instituting it. But every little victim who is discharged FILLED may come to my room every day for a week and receive two pieces of chocolate. Though our children are not conspicuously brave, they are, we discover, fighters. Young Thomas Kehoe nearly bit the doctor's thumb in two after kicking over a tableful of instruments. It requires physical strength as well as skill to be dental adviser to the J. G. H. . . . . . . . . . .
Do you remember the hideous green reception room on the first floor? I’ve removed as much of the green as I could and turned it into the doctor’s lab. It’s got scales and medicines, and the most professional touch of all—a dentist’s chair and one of those sweet grinding machines. (I bought them second-hand from Doctor Brice in the village, who is upgrading for the comfort of his own patients with white enamel and nickel plating.) That drilling machine is seen as a terrible device, and I’m viewed as a monster for bringing it in. But every little patient who leaves FILLED can come to my room every day for a week and get two pieces of chocolate. Although our kids aren’t exactly brave, we’ve found they can be fighters. Young Thomas Kehoe almost bit the doctor’s thumb off after he kicked over a table full of instruments. It takes both physical strength and skill to be the dental advisor to the J. G. H. . . . . . . . . . .
Interrupted here to show a benevolent lady over the institution. She asked fifty irrelevant questions, took up an hour of my time, then finally wiped away a tear and left a dollar for my "poor little charges."
Interrupted here to show a kind lady around the institution. She asked fifty random questions, took up an hour of my time, then finally wiped away a tear and left a dollar for my "poor little charges."
So far, my poor little charges are not enthusiastic about these new reforms. They don't care much for the sudden draft of fresh air that has blown in upon them, or the deluge of water. I am shoving in two baths a week, and as soon as we collect tubs enough and a few extra faucets, they are going to get SEVEN.
So far, my poor little kids aren’t too excited about these new changes. They’re not fans of the sudden influx of fresh air or the downpour of water. I’m adding two baths a week, and as soon as we gather enough tubs and a few extra faucets, they’re going to get SEVEN.
But at least I have started one most popular reform. Our daily bill of fare has been increased, a change deplored by the cook as causing trouble, and deplored by the rest of the staff as causing an immoral increase in expense. ECONOMY spelt in capitals has been the guiding principle of this institution for so many years that it has become a religion. I assure my timid co-workers twenty times a day that, owing to the generosity of our president, the endowment has been exactly doubled, and that I have vast sums besides from Mrs. Pendleton for necessary purposes like ice cream. But they simply CAN'T get over the feeling that it is a wicked extravagance to feed these children.
But at least I've started one of the most popular reforms. Our daily menu has been expanded, which the cook complains about as it creates more work, and the rest of the staff view as an immoral increase in costs. ECONOMY, spelled in all caps, has been the guiding principle of this institution for so many years that it has become a sort of religion. I reassure my anxious coworkers twenty times a day that, thanks to our president's generosity, the endowment has been exactly doubled, and that I have plenty of extra funds from Mrs. Pendleton for necessary things like ice cream. But they just CAN'T shake the feeling that it's a sinful extravagance to feed these children.
The doctor and I have been studying with care the menus of the past, and we are filled with amazement at the mind that could have devised them. Here is one of her frequently recurring dinners:
The doctor and I have been carefully examining past menus, and we're amazed by the creativity that went into creating them. Here’s one of her regularly served dinners:
Boiled potatoes
Boiled rice
Blanc mange
Boiled potatoes
Boiled rice
Panna cotta
It's a wonder to me that the children are anything more than one hundred and eleven little lumps of starch.
It's amazing to me that the kids are anything more than one hundred and eleven little lumps of starch.
Looking about this institution, one is moved to misquote Robert Browning.
Looking around this institution, one feels compelled to misquote Robert Browning.
"There may be heaven; there must be hell;
Meantime, there is the John Grier—well!"
"There might be heaven; there definitely has to be hell;
In the meantime, there's the John Grier—well!"
S. McB.
S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Saturday.
Saturday.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Dr. Robin MacRae and I fought another battle yesterday over a very trivial matter (in which I was right), and since then I have adopted for our doctor a special pet name. "Good morning, Enemy!" was my greeting today, at which he was quite solemnly annoyed. He says he does not wish to be regarded as an enemy. He is not in the least antagonistic—so long as I mold my policy upon his wishes!
Dr. Robin MacRae and I had another argument yesterday over something pretty minor (and I was right), and since then, I’ve come up with a special nickname for our doctor. “Good morning, Enemy!” was how I greeted him today, which made him quite seriously annoyed. He says he doesn’t want to be seen as an enemy. He’s not at all confrontational—as long as I shape my decisions based on his preferences!
We have two new children, Isador Gutschneider and Max Yog, given to us by the Baptist Ladies' Aid Society. Where on earth do you suppose those children picked up such a religion? I didn't want to take them, but the poor ladies were very persuasive, and they pay the princely sum of four dollars and fifty cents per week per child. This makes 113, which makes us very crowded. I have half a dozen babies to give away. Find me some kind families who want to adopt.
We have two new kids, Isador Gutschneider and Max Yog, sent to us by the Baptist Ladies' Aid Society. Where do you think those kids picked up such beliefs? I didn't want to take them, but the poor ladies were really convincing, and they pay the generous amount of four dollars and fifty cents a week for each child. This brings our total to 113, which makes us pretty cramped. I have several babies to give away. Help me find some nice families who want to adopt.
You know it's very embarrassing not to be able to remember offhand how large your family is, but mine seems to vary from day to day, like the stock market. I should like to keep it at about par. When a woman has more than a hundred children, she can't give them the individual attention they ought to have.
You know it's really embarrassing not to be able to remember right away how big your family is, but mine seems to change every day, like the stock market. I’d prefer to keep it pretty steady. When a woman has more than a hundred kids, she can't give them the individual attention they deserve.
Monday.
Monday.
This letter has been lying two days on my desk, and I haven't found the time to stick on a stamp. But now I seem to have a free evening ahead, so I will add a page or two more before starting it on a pleasant journey to Florida.
This letter has been on my desk for two days, and I haven't had the time to put a stamp on it. But now it looks like I have a free evening, so I'll add a page or two before sending it off to Florida.
I am just beginning to pick out individual faces among the children. It seemed at first as though I could never learn them, they looked so hopelessly cut out of one pattern, with those unspeakably ugly uniforms. Now please don't write back that you want the children put into new clothes immediately. I know you do; you've already told me five times. In about a month I shall be ready to consider the question, but just now their insides are more important than their outsides.
I am just starting to recognize individual faces among the kids. At first, it felt impossible to learn them since they all looked so identical in those ridiculously ugly uniforms. Please don’t email me saying you want the kids to get new clothes right away. I know you do; you've already mentioned it five times. In about a month, I’ll be ready to think about it, but for now, their well-being is more important than their appearance.
There is no doubt about it—orphans in the mass do not appeal to me. I am beginning to be afraid that this famous mother instinct which we hear so much about was left out of my character. Children as children are dirty, spitty little things, and their noses all need wiping. Here and there I pick out a naughty, mischievous little one that awakens a flicker of interest; but for the most part they are just a composite blur of white face and blue check.
There’s no doubt about it—orphans in general just don’t appeal to me. I’m starting to worry that this famous maternal instinct we hear so much about was left out of my personality. Kids, in general, are dirty, drooly little beings, and they all need their noses wiped. Occasionally, I spot a naughty, mischievous one that sparks a bit of interest, but mostly, they’re just a confusing mix of pale faces and blue checks.
With one exception, though. Sadie Kate Kilcoyne emerged from the mass the first day, and bids fair to stay out for all time. She is my special little errand girl, and she furnishes me with all my daily amusement. No piece of mischief has been launched in this institution for the last eight years that did not originate in her abnormal brain. This young person has, to me, a most unusual history, though I understand it's common enough in foundling circles. She was discovered eleven years ago on the bottom step of a Thirty-ninth Street house, asleep in a pasteboard box labeled, "Altman & Co."
With one exception, though. Sadie Kate Kilcoyne came out from the crowd on the first day and looks like she’s here to stay for good. She’s my special little errand girl, and she provides me with all my daily entertainment. No prank has been pulled in this place for the last eight years that didn’t come from her creative mind. This girl has, to me, a really unique backstory, although I hear it’s pretty common in orphan circles. She was found eleven years ago on the bottom step of a Thirty-ninth Street house, sleeping in a cardboard box labeled, “Altman & Co.”
"Sadie Kate Kilcoyne, aged five weeks. Be kind to her," was neatly printed on the cover.
"Sadie Kate Kilcoyne, 5 weeks old. Please be kind to her," was neatly printed on the cover.
The policeman who picked her up took her to Bellevue where the foundlings are pronounced, in the order of their arrival, "Catholic, Protestant, Catholic, Protestant," with perfect impartiality. Our Sadie Kate, despite her name and blue Irish eyes, was made a Protestant. And here she is growing Irisher and Irisher every day, but, true to her christening, protesting loudly against every detail of life.
The police officer who got her picked her up took her to Bellevue, where the foundlings are labeled, in the order of their arrival, "Catholic, Protestant, Catholic, Protestant," with complete fairness. Our Sadie Kate, despite her name and blue Irish eyes, was classified as a Protestant. And here she is, becoming more and more Irish every day, but, true to her baptism, loudly protesting every little detail of life.
Her two little black braids point in opposite directions; her little monkey face is all screwed up with mischief; she is as active as a terrier, and you have to keep her busy every moment. Her record of badnesses occupies pages in the Doomsday Book. The last item reads:
Her two little black braids stick out in different directions; her little monkey face is all twisted up with mischief; she’s as energetic as a terrier, and you have to keep her occupied every minute. Her list of mischiefs takes up pages in the Doomsday Book. The last entry says:
"For stumping Maggie Geer to get a doorknob into her mouth—punishment, the afternoon spent in bed, and crackers for supper."
"For getting Maggie Geer to put a doorknob in her mouth—punishment, the afternoon spent in bed, and crackers for dinner."
It seems that Maggie Geer, fitted with a mouth of unusual stretching capacity, got the doorknob in, but couldn't get it out. The doctor was called, and cannily solved the problem with a buttered shoe-horn. "Muckle-mouthed Meg," he has dubbed the patient ever since.
It seems that Maggie Geer, who had an unusually large mouth, managed to get the doorknob in, but couldn’t get it out. The doctor was called and cleverly solved the problem with a buttered shoehorn. "Big-mouthed Meg," he has called the patient ever since.
You can understand that my thoughts are anxiously occupied in filling every crevice of Sadie Kate's existence.
You can see that I'm constantly preoccupied with every aspect of Sadie Kate's life.
There are a million subjects that I ought to consult with the president about. I think it was very unkind of you and him to saddle me with your orphan asylum and run off South to play. It would serve you right if I did everything wrong. While you are traveling about in private cars, and strolling in the moonlight on palm beaches, please think of me in the drizzle of a New York March, taking care of 113 babies that by rights are yours—and be grateful.
There are a million topics I need to discuss with the president. I think it was really unfair of you and him to leave me in charge of your orphanage while you went off to enjoy yourselves down South. It would be fitting if I messed everything up. While you’re off traveling in fancy cars and walking on tropical beaches in the moonlight, please remember me in the dreary March weather of New York, taking care of 113 babies that you should be responsible for—and be thankful.
I remain (for a limited time),
I will stay (for a short while),
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
SUP'T JOHN GRIER HOME.
SUP'T John Grier Home.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
I am sending herewith (under separate cover) Sammy Speir, who got mislaid when you paid your morning visit. Miss Snaith brought him to light after you had gone. Please scrutinize his thumb. I never saw a felon, but I have diagnosed it as such. Yours truly, S. McBRIDE.
I’m sending you Sammy Speir separately since he got lost during your morning visit. Miss Snaith found him after you left. Please check out his thumb. I’ve never seen a felon before, but I think that’s what it is. Best, S. McBRIDE.
SUP'T JOHN GRIER HOME,
SUP'T John Grier Home,
March 6.
March 6th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
I don't know yet whether the children are going to love me or not, but they DO love my dog. No creature so popular as Singapore ever entered these gates. Every afternoon three boys who have been perfect in deportment are allowed to brush and comb him, while three other good boys may serve him with food and drink. But every Saturday morning the climax of the week is reached, when three superlatively good boys give him a nice lathery bath with hot water and flea soap. The privilege of serving as Singapore's valet is going to be the only incentive I shall need for maintaining discipline.
I’m not sure yet if the kids are going to like me, but they definitely love my dog. No creature has ever been as popular as Singapore at this place. Every afternoon, three well-behaved boys get to brush and comb him, while three other good boys serve him food and water. But the highlight of the week comes every Saturday morning when three exceptionally good boys give him a nice soapy bath with hot water and flea soap. The chance to be Singapore's personal servant is going to be the only motivation I need to keep things in order.
But isn't it pathetically unnatural for these youngsters to be living in the country and never owning a pet? Especially when they, of all children, do so need something to love. I am going to manage pets for them somehow, if I have to spend our new endowment for a menagerie. Couldn't you bring back some baby alligators and a pelican? Anything alive will be gratefully received.
But isn't it incredibly unnatural for these kids to live in the countryside and never have a pet? Especially when they, of all kids, really need something to love. I'm going to find a way to get them pets somehow, even if I have to use our new funds for a small zoo. Could you bring back some baby alligators and a pelican? Anything alive will be appreciated.
This should by rights be my first "Trustees' Day." I am deeply grateful to Jervis for arranging a simple business meeting in New York, as we are not yet on dress parade up here; but we are hoping by the first Wednesday in April to have something visible to show. If all of the doctor's ideas, and a few of my own, get themselves materialized, our trustees will open their eyes a bit when we show them about.
This should really be my first "Trustees' Day." I'm truly thankful to Jervis for setting up a straightforward meeting in New York, since we're not in full swing here yet; but we're hoping that by the first Wednesday in April, we'll have something noticeable to present. If all of the doctor's ideas, along with a few of mine, come to life, our trustees will be a bit surprised when we give them a tour.
I have just made out a chart for next week's meals, and posted it in the kitchen in the sight of an aggrieved cook. Variety is a word hitherto not found in the lexicon of the J.G.H. You would never dream all of the delightful surprises we are going to have: brown bread, corn pone, graham muffins, samp, rice pudding with LOTS of raisins, thick vegetable soup, macaroni Italian fashion, polenta cakes with molasses, apple dumplings, gingerbread—oh, an endless list! After our biggest girls have assisted in the manufacture of such appetizing dainties, they will almost be capable of keeping future husbands in love with them.
I just put together a chart for next week's meals and posted it in the kitchen where an annoyed cook can see it. "Variety" has not been a part of the J.G.H. vocabulary until now. You wouldn't believe all the delicious surprises we have planned: brown bread, corn pone, graham muffins, samp, rice pudding loaded with raisins, thick vegetable soup, macaroni made the Italian way, polenta cakes with molasses, apple dumplings, gingerbread—it's an endless list! After our oldest girls help make these tasty treats, they'll be well on their way to keeping future husbands smitten with them.
Oh, dear me! Here I am babbling these silly nothings when I have some real news up my sleeve. We have a new worker, a gem of a worker.
Oh, my gosh! Here I am rambling about these silly little things when I have some real news to share. We’ve got a new employee, a real treasure of a worker.
Do you remember Betsy Kindred, 1910? She led the glee club and was president of dramatics. I remember her perfectly; she always had lovely clothes. Well, if you please, she lives only twelve miles from here. I ran across her by chance yesterday morning as she was motoring through the village; or, rather, she just escaped running across me.
Do you remember Betsy Kindred, 1910? She was in charge of the glee club and was the president of dramatics. I remember her perfectly; she always wore beautiful clothes. Well, believe it or not, she lives just twelve miles from here. I happened to run into her yesterday morning as she was driving through the village; or, more accurately, she barely missed running into me.
I never spoke to her in my life, but we greeted each other like the oldest friends. It pays to have conspicuous hair; she recognized me instantly. I hopped upon the running board of her car and said:
I never spoke to her in my life, but we greeted each other like the oldest friends. It helps to have noticeable hair; she recognized me right away. I jumped onto the running board of her car and said:
"Betsy Kindred, 1910, you've got to come back to my orphan asylum and help me catalogue my orphans."
"Betsy Kindred, 1910, you have to come back to my orphanage and help me organize my orphans."
And it astonished her so that she came. She's to be here four or five days a week as temporary secretary, and somehow I must manage to keep her permanently. She's the most useful person I ever saw. I am hoping that orphans will become such a habit with her that she won't be able to give them up. I think she might stay if we pay her a big enough salary. She likes to be independent of her family, as do all of us in these degenerate times.
And it amazed her so much that she came. She will be here four or five days a week as a temporary secretary, and somehow I need to find a way to keep her permanently. She’s the most helpful person I’ve ever seen. I'm hoping that working with orphans will become such a routine for her that she won't want to leave them. I think she might stay if we offer her a high enough salary. She likes being independent from her family, just like all of us in these challenging times.
In my growing zeal for cataloguing people, I should like to get our doctor tabulated. If Jervis knows any gossip about him, write it to me, please; the worse, the better. He called yesterday to lance a felon on Sammy Speir's thumb, then ascended to my electric-blue parlor to give instructions as to the dressing of thumbs. The duties of a superintendent are manifold.
In my increasing enthusiasm for keeping track of people, I'd like to get our doctor documented. If Jervis has any gossip about him, please send it my way; the worse, the better. He visited yesterday to drain an abscess on Sammy Speir's thumb, then came up to my electric-blue room to give instructions on how to dress thumbs. The responsibilities of a supervisor are numerous.
It was just teatime, so I casually asked him to stay, and he did! Not for the pleasure of my society,—no, indeed,—but because Jane appeared at the moment with a plate of toasted muffins. He hadn't had any luncheon, it seems, and dinner was a long way ahead. Between muffins (he ate the whole plateful) he saw fit to interrogate me as to my preparedness for this position. Had I studied biology in college? How far had I gone in chemistry? What did I know of sociology? Had I visited that model institution at Hastings?
It was just teatime, so I casually invited him to stay, and he did! Not for the enjoyment of my company—oh no—but because Jane showed up at that moment with a plate of toasted muffins. Apparently, he hadn’t had any lunch, and dinner was still a while away. Between muffins (he finished the whole plate), he felt it was appropriate to ask me about my readiness for this position. Had I studied biology in college? How far did I get in chemistry? What did I know about sociology? Had I visited that model institution in Hastings?
To all of which I responded affably and openly. Then I permitted myself a question or two: just what sort of youthful training had been required to produce such a model of logic, accuracy, dignity, and common sense as I saw sitting before me? Through persistent prodding I elicited a few forlorn facts, but all quite respectable. You'd think, from his reticence, there'd been a hanging in the family. The MacRae PERE was born in Scotland, and came to the States to occupy a chair at Johns Hopkins; son Robin was shipped back to Auld Reekie for his education. His grandmother was a M'Lachlan of Strathlachan (I am sure she sounds respectable), and his vacations were spent in the Hielands a-chasing the deer.
I replied to all of this in a friendly and open manner. Then I allowed myself to ask a question or two: what kind of youthful training had been required to produce such a model of logic, accuracy, dignity, and common sense as the person I saw sitting before me? Through persistent questioning, I managed to uncover a few sad facts, but they were all quite respectable. You'd think, from his reluctance to share, that there had been a scandal in the family. Mr. MacRae was born in Scotland and came to the States to take a position at Johns Hopkins; his son Robin was sent back to Edinburgh for his education. His grandmother was a M'Lachlan from Strathlachan (I’m sure she sounds respectable), and he spent his vacations in the Highlands chasing deer.
So much could I gather; so much, and no more. Tell me, I beg, some gossip about my enemy—something scandalous by preference.
So much I could piece together; so much, and no more. Please tell me, I really want to know, some gossip about my enemy—preferably something scandalous.
Why, if he is such an awfully efficient person does he bury himself in this remote locality? You would think an up-and-coming scientific man would want a hospital at one elbow and a morgue at the other. Are you sure that he didn't commit a crime and isn't hiding from the law?
Why, if he's such an incredibly efficient person, does he isolate himself in this remote area? You'd think a rising scientific star would want a hospital on one side and a morgue on the other. Are you sure he didn't commit a crime and isn't hiding from the law?
I seem to have covered a lot of paper without telling you much. VIVE LA BAGATELLE! Yours as usual,
I feel like I’ve written a lot without saying much. LONG LIVE THE TRIVIAL! Yours as always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. I am relieved on one point. Dr. MacRae does not pick out his own clothes. He leaves all such unessential trifles to his housekeeper, Mrs. Maggie McGurk.
P.S. I'm relieved about one thing. Dr. MacRae doesn’t choose his own clothes. He leaves all those unimportant details to his housekeeper, Mrs. Maggie McGurk.
Again, and irrevocably, good-by!
Goodbye, for good!
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Wednesday.
Wednesday.
Dear Gordon:
Hi Gordon,
Your roses and your letter cheered me for an entire morning, and it's the first time I've approached cheerfulness since the fourteenth of February, when I waved good-by to Worcester.
Your roses and your letter lifted my spirits for a whole morning, and it’s the first time I’ve felt cheerful since February 14th, when I said goodbye to Worcester.
Words can't tell you how monotonously oppressive the daily round of institution life gets to be. The only glimmer in the whole dull affair is the fact that Betsy Kindred spends four days a week with us. Betsy and I were in college together, and we do occasionally find something funny to laugh about.
Words can't express how endlessly heavy the daily grind of life in this institution becomes. The only bright spot in all this dullness is that Betsy Kindred spends four days a week with us. Betsy and I were college friends, and we do occasionally find something to laugh about.
Yesterday we were having tea in my HIDEOUS parlor when we suddenly determined to revolt against so much unnecessary ugliness. We called in six sturdy and destructive orphans, a step-ladder, and a bucket of hot water, and in two hours had every vestige of that tapestry paper off those walls. You can't imagine what fun it is ripping paper off walls.
Yesterday, we were having tea in my UGLY parlor when we suddenly decided to rebel against all that unnecessary awkwardness. We brought in six tough and mischievous orphans, a step ladder, and a bucket of hot water, and in two hours, we had every piece of that ugly wallpaper stripped off the walls. You can't imagine how much fun it is to tear paper off walls.
Two paperhangers are at work this moment hanging the best that our village affords, while a German upholsterer is on his knees measuring my chairs for chintz slip covers that will hide every inch of their plush upholstery.
Two wallpaper hangers are currently at work putting up the best that our village has to offer, while a German upholsterer is on his knees measuring my chairs for chintz slipcovers that will cover every inch of their plush upholstery.
Please don't get nervous. This doesn't mean that I'm preparing to spend my life in the asylum. It means only that I'm preparing a cheerful welcome for my successor. I haven't dared tell Judy how dismal I find it, because I don't want to cloud Florida; but when she returns to New York she will find my official resignation waiting to meet her in the front hall.
Please don't get anxious. This doesn't mean I'm getting ready to spend my life in a mental hospital. It just means I'm setting up a warm welcome for my replacement. I haven't had the courage to tell Judy how bleak I find it, because I don't want to spoil Florida for her; but when she gets back to New York, she will find my official resignation waiting for her in the front hall.
I would write you a long letter in grateful payment for seven pages, but two of my little dears are holding a fight under the window. I dash to separate them.
I would write you a long letter to thank you for the seven pages, but two of my little ones are fighting under the window. I need to rush to break them up.
Yours as ever,
Always yours,
S. McB.
S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
March 8.
March 8th.
My dear Judy:
Dear Judy:
I myself have bestowed a little present upon the John Grier Home—the refurnishing of the superintendent's private parlor. I saw the first night here that neither I nor any future occupant could be happy with Mrs. Lippett's electric plush. You see, I am planning to make my successor contented and willing to stay.
I have given a small gift to the John Grier Home—refurnishing the superintendent's private parlor. I realized on my first night here that neither I nor anyone who comes after could be happy with Mrs. Lippett's electric plush furniture. You see, I want to make sure my successor is happy and willing to stay.
Betsy Kindred assisted in the rehabilitation of the Lippett's chamber of horrors, and between us we have created a symphony in dull blue and gold. Really and truly, it's one of the loveliest rooms you've ever seen. The sight of it will be an artistic education to any orphan. New paper on the wall, new rugs on the floor (my own prized Persians expressed from Worcester by an expostulating family). New casement curtains at my three windows, revealing a wide and charming view, hitherto hidden by Nottingham lace. A new big table, some lamps and books and a picture or so, and a real open fire. She had closed the fireplace because it let in air.
Betsy Kindred helped revive the Lippett's chamber of horrors, and together we’ve created a beautiful space in dull blue and gold. Honestly, it’s one of the prettiest rooms you’ve ever seen. Just seeing it will be a true artistic experience for any orphan. There’s new wallpaper, new rugs on the floor (my treasured Persians sent from Worcester, much to the dismay of my family). New curtains at my three windows are letting in a wide and lovely view that was previously blocked by Nottingham lace. There’s a new large table, some lamps, books, a couple of pictures, and a real open fire. She had blocked the fireplace because it let in cold air.
I never realized what a difference artistic surroundings make in the peace of one's soul. I sat last night and watched my fire throw nice highlights on my new old fender, and purred with contentment. And I assure you it's the first purr that has come from this cat since she entered the gates of the John Grier Home.
I never understood how much artistic surroundings contribute to the peace of one's soul. Last night, I sat and watched my fire cast beautiful highlights on my new old fender, feeling completely content. And I can tell you, it's the first time this cat has purred since she arrived at the John Grier Home.
But the refurnishing of the superintendent's parlor is the slightest of our needs. The children's private apartments demand so much basic attention that I can't decide where to begin. That dark north playroom is a shocking scandal, but no more shocking than our hideous dining room or our unventilated dormitories or our tubless lavatories.
But fixing up the superintendent's parlor is the least of our concerns. The children's private rooms need so much basic care that I can't even figure out where to start. That dark north playroom is a real eyesore, but it's no more shocking than our ugly dining room, our stuffy dorms, or our bathrooms with no tubs.
If the institution is very saving, do you think it can ever afford to burn down this smelly old original building, and put up instead some nice, ventilated modern cottages? I cannot contemplate that wonderful institution at Hastings without being filled with envy. It would be some fun to run an asylum if you had a plant like that to work with. But, anyway, when you get back to New York and are ready to consult the architect about remodeling, please apply to me for suggestions. Among other little details I want two hundred feet of sleeping porch running along the outside of our dormitories.
If the institution is really cost-conscious, do you think it could ever afford to tear down this old, smelly building and replace it with some nice, airy modern cottages? I can’t help but feel envious when I think about that amazing place in Hastings. It would be pretty exciting to run an asylum if you had a facility like that to work with. But anyway, when you get back to New York and are ready to talk to the architect about renovations, please reach out to me for suggestions. Among other things, I want a 200-foot sleeping porch running along the outside of our dormitories.
You see, it's this way: our physical examination reveals the fact that about half of our children are aenemic—{aneamic}{anaemic} (Mercy! what a word!), and a lot of them have tubercular ancestors, and more have alcoholic. Their first need is oxygen rather than education. And if the sickly ones need it, why wouldn't it be good for the well ones? I should like to have every child, winter and summer, sleeping in the open air; but I know that if I let fall such a bomb on the board of trustees, the whole body would explode.
You see, here's the thing: our physical examination shows that about half of our kids are anemic—{aneamic}{anaemic} (Wow! What a word!), and many of them come from families with a history of tuberculosis, and even more have alcoholic relatives. Their main need is fresh air rather than schooling. And if the sickly kids need it, wouldn't it be beneficial for the healthy ones too? I would love to have every child, winter and summer, sleeping outdoors; but I know that if I suggested such a radical idea to the board of trustees, they'd go crazy.
Speaking of trustees, I have met up with the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff, and I really believe that I dislike him more than Dr. Robin MacRae or the kindergarten teacher or the cook. I seem to have a genius for discovering enemies!
Speaking of trustees, I’ve run into the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff, and I honestly think I dislike him more than Dr. Robin MacRae or the kindergarten teacher or the cook. I seem to have a knack for finding enemies!
Mr. Wykoff called on Wednesday last to look over the new superintendent.
Mr. Wykoff came by last Wednesday to check out the new superintendent.
Having lowered himself into my most comfortable armchair, he proceeded to spend the day. He asked my father's business, and whether or not he was well-to-do. I told him that my father manufactured overalls, and that, even in these hard times, the demand for overalls was pretty steady.
Having settled into my comfiest armchair, he went on to spend the day. He asked about my dad's job and whether he was doing well financially. I told him that my dad makes overalls, and that even in these tough times, the demand for overalls stays pretty consistent.
He seemed relieved. He approves of the utilitarian aspect of overalls. He had been afraid that I had come from the family of a minister or professor or writer, a lot of high thinking and no common sense. Cyrus believes in common sense.
He looked relieved. He likes the practical side of overalls. He had been worried that I came from a family of ministers, professors, or writers—lots of deep thinking but no common sense. Cyrus values common sense.
And what had been my training for this position?
And what kind of training had I received for this role?
That, as you know, is a slightly embarrassing question. But I produced my college education and a few lectures at the School of Philanthropy, also a short residence in the college settlement (I didn't tell him that all I had done there was to paint the back hall and stairs). Then I submitted some social work among my father's employees and a few friendly visits to the Home for Female Inebriates.
That, as you know, is a somewhat awkward question. But I brought up my college education, a few lectures at the School of Philanthropy, and a brief time living at the college settlement (I didn’t mention that all I did there was paint the back hall and stairs). Then I talked about some social work I did with my dad’s employees and a few friendly visits to the Home for Female Inebriates.
To all of which he grunted.
To all of this, he grunted.
I added that I had lately made a study of the care of dependent children, and casually mentioned my seventeen institutions.
I mentioned that I had recently studied the care of dependent children and casually brought up my seventeen facilities.
He grunted again, and said he didn't take much stock in this new-fangled scientific charity.
He grunted again and said he didn't really believe in this new scientific charity.
At this point Jane entered with a box of roses from the florist's. That blessed Gordon Hallock sends me roses twice a week to brighten the rigors of institution life.
At this point, Jane walked in with a box of roses from the florist. That wonderful Gordon Hallock sends me roses twice a week to lighten the challenges of life in this place.
Our trustee began an indignant investigation. He wished to know where I got those flowers, and was visibly relieved when he learned that I had not spent the institution's money for them. He next wished to know who Jane might be. I had foreseen that question and decided to brazen it out.
Our trustee started a furious investigation. He wanted to know where I got those flowers and seemed genuinely relieved when he found out I didn't use the institution's money for them. Then he wanted to know who Jane was. I had expected that question and decided to play it cool.
"My maid," said I.
"My housekeeper," I said.
"Your what?" he bellowed, quite red in the face.
"Your what?" he yelled, pretty red in the face.
"My maid."
"My housekeeper."
"What is she doing here?"
"Why is she here?"
I amiably went into details. "She mends my clothes, blacks my boots, keeps my bureau drawers in order, washes my hair."
I friendly went into details. "She fixes my clothes, cleans my boots, keeps my dresser drawers organized, washes my hair."
I really thought the man would choke, so I charitably added that I paid her wages out of my own private income, and paid five dollars and fifty cents a week to the institution for her board; and that, though she was big, she didn't eat much.
I honestly thought the guy was going to choke, so I kindly mentioned that I covered her wages from my own income and paid five dollars and fifty cents a week to the institution for her meals; and that, even though she was large, she didn't eat a lot.
He allowed that I might make use of one of the orphans for all legitimate service.
He agreed that I could use one of the orphans for any legitimate purpose.
I explained—still polite, but growing bored—that Jane had been in my service for many years, and was indispensable.
I explained—still polite, but getting bored—that Jane had worked for me for many years and was essential.
He finally took himself off, after telling me that he, for one, had never found any fault with Mrs. Lippett. She was a common-sense Christian woman, without many fancy ideas, but with plenty of good solid work in her. He hoped that I would be wise enough to model my policy upon hers!
He finally left after telling me that, for him, he had never found any faults with Mrs. Lippett. She was a practical Christian woman, without many elaborate ideas, but with a lot of good, solid work in her. He hoped that I would be smart enough to base my approach on hers!
And what, my dear Judy, do you think of that?
And what do you think about that, my dear Judy?
The doctor dropped in a few minutes later, and I repeated the Hon. Cyrus's conversation in detail. For the first time in the history of our intercourse the doctor and I agreed.
The doctor arrived a few minutes later, and I went over the Hon. Cyrus's conversation in detail. For the first time in our history together, the doctor and I agreed.
"Mrs. Lippett indeed!" he growled. "The blethering auld gomerel! May the Lord send him mair sense!"
"Mrs. Lippett, seriously?" he grumbled. "That annoying old fool! May the Lord give him more sense!"
When our doctor really becomes aroused, he drops into Scotch. My latest pet name for him (behind his back) is Sandy.
When our doctor gets really excited, he switches to Scotch. My latest nickname for him (when he isn't around) is Sandy.
Sadie Kate is sitting on the floor as I write, untangling sewing-silks and winding them neatly for Jane, who is becoming quite attached to the little imp.
Sadie Kate is sitting on the floor while I write, untangling sewing threads and winding them up neatly for Jane, who is getting pretty fond of the little rascal.
"I am writing to your Aunt Judy," say I to Sadie Kate. "What message shall I send from you?"
"I’m writing to your Aunt Judy," I say to Sadie Kate. "What message should I send from you?"
"I never heard of no Aunt Judy."
"I've never heard of any Aunt Judy."
"She is the aunt of every good little girl in this school."
"She is every good little girl's aunt in this school."
"Tell her to come and visit me and bring some candy," says Sadie Kate.
"Tell her to come see me and bring some candy," says Sadie Kate.
I say so, too.
I agree.
My love to the president,
My love for the president,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
March 13.
March 13th.
MRS. JUDY ABBOTT PENDLETON,
MRS. JUDY ABBOTT PENDLETON,
Dear Madam:
Dear Ma'am:
Your four letters, two telegrams, and three checks are at hand, and your instructions shall be obeyed just as quickly as this overworked superintendent can manage it.
Your four letters, two telegrams, and three checks are here, and I will follow your instructions as quickly as this busy superintendent can manage.
I delegated the dining room job to Betsy Kindred. One hundred dollars did I allow her for the rehabilitation of that dreary apartment. She accepted the trust, picked out five likely orphans to assist in the mechanical details, and closed the door.
I assigned the dining room task to Betsy Kindred. I gave her one hundred dollars to fix up that dull apartment. She accepted the responsibility, chose five promising orphans to help with the details, and shut the door.
For three days the children have been eating from the desks in the schoolroom. I haven't an idea what Betsy is doing; but she has a lot better taste than I, so there isn't much use in interfering.
For three days, the kids have been eating from the desks in the classroom. I have no idea what Betsy is up to; but she has much better taste than I do, so there's not much point in getting involved.
It is such a heaven-sent relief to be able to leave something to somebody else, and be sure it will be carried out! With all due respect to the age and experience of the staff I found here, they are not very open to new ideas. As the John Grier Home was planned by its noble founder in 1875, so shall it be run today.
It’s such a huge relief to be able to hand something off to someone else and know it will get done! With all due respect to the age and experience of the staff here, they aren’t very open to new ideas. Just like the John Grier Home was established by its noble founder in 1875, it will be run the same way today.
Incidentally, my dear Judy, your idea of a private dining room for the superintendent, which I, being a social soul, at first scorned, has been my salvation. When I am dead tired I dine alone, but in my live intervals I invite an officer to share the meal; and in the expansive intimacy of the dinner-table I get in my most effective strokes. When it becomes desirable to plant the seeds of fresh air in the soul of Miss Snaith, I invite her to dinner, and tactfully sandwich in a little oxygen between her slices of pressed veal.
By the way, my dear Judy, your suggestion for a private dining room for the superintendent, which I initially dismissed because I'm such a social person, has actually saved me. When I'm completely worn out, I eat alone, but during my livelier moments, I ask an officer to join me for dinner; it’s at the dinner table, in that relaxed atmosphere, that I achieve my best results. When it’s time to introduce some fresh ideas to Miss Snaith, I invite her over for dinner and cleverly include some uplifting conversation between her servings of pressed veal.
Pressed veal is our cook's idea of an acceptable PIECE DE RESISTANCE for a dinner party. In another month I am going to face the subject of suitable nourishment for the executive staff.
Pressed veal is our cook's idea of an acceptable showstopper for a dinner party. In another month, I'm going to tackle the topic of suitable meals for the executive staff.
Meanwhile there are so many things more important than our own comfort that we shall have to worry along on veal.
Meanwhile, there are so many things more important than our own comfort that we’ll have to get by on veal.
A terrible bumping has just occurred outside my door. One little cherub seems to be kicking another little cherub downstairs. But I write on undisturbed. If I am to spend my days among orphans, I must cultivate a cheerful detachment.
A loud thud just happened outside my door. One little angel seems to be pushing another little angel down the stairs. But I'm writing on without any interruptions. If I’m going to spend my days around orphans, I need to develop a cheerful detachment.
Did you get Leonora Fenton's cards? She's marrying a medical missionary and going to Siam to live! Did you ever hear of anything so absurd as Leonora presiding over a missionary's menage? Do you suppose she will entertain the heathen with skirt dances?
Did you get Leonora Fenton's cards? She's marrying a medical missionary and moving to Siam! Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous as Leonora running a missionary household? Do you think she'll entertain the locals with skirt dances?
It isn't any absurder, though, than me in an orphan asylum, or you as a conservative settled matron, or Marty Keene a social butterfly in Paris. Do you suppose she goes to embassy balls in riding clothes, and what on earth does she do about hair? It couldn't have grown so soon; she must wear a wig. Isn't our class turning out some hilarious surprises?
It’s not any crazier than me in an orphanage, or you as a conservative matron, or Marty Keene as a socialite in Paris. Do you think she goes to embassy balls in riding clothes, and what does she even do with her hair? It couldn’t have grown that quickly; she must be wearing a wig. Isn’t our class producing some funny surprises?
The mail arrives. Excuse me while I read a nice fat letter from Washington.
The mail's here. Hold on while I read a nice thick letter from Washington.
Not so nice; quite impertinent. Gordon can't get over the idea that it is a joke, S. McB. in conjunction with one hundred and thirteen orphans. But he wouldn't think it such a joke if he could try it for a few days. He says he is going to drop off here on his next trip North and watch the struggle. How would it be if I left him in charge while I dashed to New York to accomplish some shopping? Our sheets are all worn out, and we haven't more than two hundred and eleven blankets in the house.
Not very nice; pretty rude. Gordon can't shake the idea that it's a joke, S. McB. with one hundred and thirteen orphans. But he wouldn’t find it funny if he had to deal with it for a few days. He says he plans to stop by here on his next trip North and watch the chaos. What if I left him in charge while I quickly ran to New York to do some shopping? Our sheets are all worn out, and we only have about two hundred eleven blankets in the house.
Singapore, sole puppy of my heart and home, sends his respectful love. I also, S. McB.
Singapore, the only puppy of my heart and home, sends his love. I do too, S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Friday. My dearest Judy:
Friday. My dearest Judy:
You should see what your hundred dollars and Betsy Kindred did to that dining room!
You won't believe what your hundred bucks and Betsy Kindred did to that dining room!
It's a dazzling dream of yellow paint. Being a north room, she thought to brighten it; and she has. The walls are kalsomined buff, with a frieze of little molly cottontails skurrying around the top. All of the woodwork—tables and benches included—is a cheerful chrome yellow. Instead of tablecloths, which we can't afford, we have linen runners, with stenciled rabbits hopping along their length. Also yellow bowls, filled at present with pussywillows, but looking forward to dandelions and cowslips and buttercups. And new dishes, my dear—white, with yellow jonquils (we think), though they may be roses; there is no botany expert in the house. Most wonderful touch of all, we have NAPKINS, the first we have seen in our whole lives. The children thought they were handkerchiefs and ecstatically wiped their noses.
It's a brilliant dream of yellow paint. Being a north room, she wanted to brighten it up; and she has. The walls are a warm buff color, with a border of tiny bunnies scurrying along the top. All the woodwork—tables and benches included—is a cheerful chrome yellow. Instead of tablecloths, which we can't afford, we have linen runners with stenciled rabbits hopping along their length. There are also yellow bowls, currently filled with pussywillows but looking forward to dandelions, cowslips, and buttercups. And new dishes, my dear—white with yellow jonquils (we think), though they might be roses; there’s no botany expert in the house. The most wonderful touch of all, we have NAPKINS, the first we have ever seen in our lives. The kids thought they were handkerchiefs and excitedly wiped their noses.
To honor the opening of the new room, we had ice-cream and cake for dessert. It is such a pleasure to see these children anything but cowed and apathetic, that I am offering prizes for boisterousness—to every one but Sadie Kate. She drummed on the table with her knife and fork and sang, "Welcome to dem golden halls."
To celebrate the new room's opening, we had ice cream and cake for dessert. It’s a joy to see these kids lively and engaged, so I’m giving out prizes for enthusiasm—to everyone except Sadie Kate. She was drumming on the table with her knife and fork and singing, "Welcome to dem golden halls."
You remember that illuminated text over the dining-room door—"The Lord Will Provide." We've painted it out, and covered the spot with rabbits. It's all very well to teach so easy a belief to normal children, who have a proper family and roof behind them; but a person whose only refuge in distress will be a park bench must learn a more militant creed than that.
You remember that bright text above the dining-room door—"The Lord Will Provide." We've painted over it and covered the spot with rabbits. It's fine to teach such a simple belief to normal kids who have a stable family and home; but someone whose only shelter in tough times is a park bench needs to adopt a much tougher belief system than that.
"The Lord has given you two hands and a brain and a big world to use them in. Use them well, and you will be provided for; use them ill, and you will want," is our motto, and that with reservations.
"The Lord has given you two hands, a brain, and a vast world to utilize them in. Use them wisely, and you will be taken care of; misuse them, and you will find yourself in need," is our motto, albeit with some caveats.
In the sorting process that has been going on I have got rid of eleven children. That blessed State Charities Aid Association helped me dispose of three little girls, all placed in very nice homes, and one to be adopted legally if the family likes her. And the family will like her; I saw to that. She was the prize child of the institution, obedient and polite, with curly hair and affectionate ways, exactly the little girl that every family needs. When a couple of adopting parents are choosing a daughter, I stand by with my heart in my mouth, feeling as though I were assisting in the inscrutable designs of Fate. Such a little thing turns the balance! The child smiles, and a loving home is hers for life; she sneezes, and it passes her by forever.
In the sorting process that's been happening, I've let go of eleven kids. That wonderful State Charities Aid Association helped me find homes for three little girls, all placed in really nice families, and one is set to be legally adopted if the family likes her. And they will like her; I made sure of that. She was the star child of the institution, obedient and polite, with curly hair and a loving nature, exactly the kind of little girl every family dreams of. When a couple of adoptive parents are choosing a daughter, I stand by with my heart racing, feeling like I'm part of the mysterious plans of Fate. Such a small detail can change everything! The child smiles, and a loving home is hers for life; she sneezes, and it slips away forever.
Three of our biggest boys have gone to work on farms, one of them out West to a RANCH! Report has it that he is to become a cowboy and Indian fighter and grizzly-bear hunter, though I believe in reality he is to engage in the pastoral work of harvesting wheat. He marched off, a hero of romance, followed by the wistful eyes of twenty-five adventurous lads, who turned back with a sigh to the safely monotonous life of the J. G. H.
Three of our biggest boys have gone to work on farms, one of them out West to a RANCH! Word has it that he's going to be a cowboy, an Indian fighter, and a grizzly bear hunter, though I really think he’ll be doing the more ordinary job of harvesting wheat. He left like a hero from a story, followed by the longing looks of twenty-five adventurous boys, who turned back with a sigh to the safely routine life of the J. G. H.
Five other children have been sent to their proper institutions. One of them is deaf, one an epileptic, and the other three approaching idiocy. None of them ought ever to have been accepted here. This as an educational institution, and we can't waste our valuable plant in caring for defectives.
Five other kids have been sent to the right facilities. One of them is deaf, one has epilepsy, and the other three are on the verge of being developmentally disabled. None of them should have ever been accepted here. This is an educational institution, and we can't waste our valuable resources on individuals with disabilities.
Orphan asylums have gone out of style. What I am going to develop is a boarding school for the physical, moral, and mental growth of children whose parents have not been able to provide for their care.
Orphanages are no longer in vogue. What I’m planning to create is a boarding school aimed at the physical, moral, and mental development of children whose parents are unable to care for them.
"Orphans" is merely my generic term for the children; a good many of them are not orphans in the least. They have one troublesome and tenacious parent left who won't sign a surrender, so I can't place them out for adoption. But those that are available would be far better off in loving foster-homes than in the best institution that I can ever make. So I am fitting them for adoption as quickly as possible, and searching for the homes.
"Orphans" is just a general term I use for the kids; quite a few of them are not orphans at all. They have one difficult and persistent parent who won't agree to give them up, so I can't find them adoptive families. But the ones that are available would be much better off in loving foster homes than in the best facility I could create. So I'm getting them ready for adoption as fast as I can and looking for suitable homes.
You ought to run across a lot of pleasant families in your travels; can't you bully some of them into adopting children? Boys by preference. We've got an awful lot of extra boys, and nobody wants them. Talk about anti-feminism! It's nothing to the anti-masculinism that exists in the breasts of adopting parents. I could place out a thousand dimpled little girls with yellow hair, but a good live boy from nine to thirteen is a drug on the market. There seems to be a general feeling that they track in dirt and scratch up mahogany furniture.
You should come across a lot of nice families during your travels; can’t you convince some of them to adopt kids? Boys are preferred. We have way too many extra boys, and no one wants them. Talk about anti-feminism! It’s nothing compared to the anti-masculinism that’s in the hearts of adoptive parents. I could easily find homes for a thousand cute little girls with blonde hair, but a healthy boy aged nine to thirteen is practically worthless. There seems to be a common belief that they bring in dirt and ruin mahogany furniture.
Shouldn't you think that men's clubs might like to adopt boys, as a sort of mascot? The boy could be boarded in a nice respectable family, and drawn out by the different members on Saturday afternoons. They could take him to ball games and the circus, and then return him when they had had enough, just as you do with a library book. It would be very valuable training for the bachelors. People are forever talking about the desirability of training girls for motherhood. Why not institute a course of training in fatherhood, and get the best men's clubs to take it up? Will you please have Jervis agitate the matter at his various clubs, and I'll have Gordon start the idea in Washington. They both belong to such a lot of clubs that we ought to dispose of at least a dozen boys.
Shouldn't you think that men's clubs might want to adopt boys as a sort of mascot? The boy could be placed with a nice, respectable family and brought out by the different members on Saturday afternoons. They could take him to ball games and the circus, and then return him when they’ve had enough, just like you do with a library book. It would be really valuable training for the bachelors. People are always talking about the importance of training girls for motherhood. Why not set up a course in fatherhood and get the best men's clubs to take it on? Can you please have Jervis bring this up at his various clubs, and I'll have Gordon propose the idea in Washington? They both belong to so many clubs that we should be able to place at least a dozen boys.
I remain,
I’m still here,
The ever-distracted mother of 113.
The constantly distracted mom of 113.
S. McB.
S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
March 18.
March 18.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
I have been having a pleasant respite from the 113 cares of motherhood.
I have been enjoying a nice break from the 113 stresses of being a mom.
Yesterday who should drop down upon our peaceful village but Mr. Gordon Hallock, on his way back to Washington to resume the cares of the nation. At least he said it was on his way, but I notice from the map in the primary room that it was one hundred miles out of his way.
Yesterday, who should show up in our peaceful village but Mr. Gordon Hallock, on his way back to Washington to take on the country's responsibilities again. At least that's what he said, but I noticed from the map in the primary room that it was a hundred miles off his route.
And dear, but I was glad to see him! He is the first glimpse of the outside world I have had since I was incarcerated in this asylum. And such a lot of entertaining businesses he had to talk about! He knows the inside of all the outside things you read in the newspapers; so far as I can make out, he is the social center about which Washington revolves. I always knew he would get on in politics, for he has a way with him; there's no doubt about it.
And oh, I was so happy to see him! He’s the first real connection to the outside world I’ve had since I ended up in this asylum. And he had so many interesting stories to share! He’s in the know about everything happening outside that you read in the news; from what I can tell, he’s the social hub that Washington centers around. I always knew he’d succeed in politics because he has a certain charm; there’s no doubt about that.
You can't imagine how exhilarated and set-up I feel, as though I'd come into my own again after a period of social ostracism. I must confess that I get lonely for some one who talks my kind of nonsensical talk. Betsy trots off home every week end, and the doctor is conversational enough, but, oh, so horribly logical! Gordon somehow seems to stand for the life I belong to,—of country clubs and motors and dancing and sport and politeness,—a poor, foolish, silly life, if you will, but mine own. And I have missed it. This serving society business is theoretically admirable and compelling and interesting, but deadly stupid in its working details. I am afraid I was never born to set the crooked straight.
You can't imagine how excited and recharged I feel, like I've finally come into my own again after being socially shut out for a while. I have to admit that I get lonely for someone who shares my kind of silly conversations. Betsy heads home every weekend, and the doctor is chatty enough, but, oh, so annoyingly logical! Gordon somehow represents the life I belong to—full of country clubs, cars, dancing, sports, and politeness—a silly, foolish life, if you want to say that, but it's my life. And I've missed it. This whole serving society thing sounds great in theory and is definitely interesting, but it's so frustrating in practice. I’m afraid I was never meant to fix what’s broken.
I tried to show Gordon about and make him take an interest in the babies, but he wouldn't glance at them. He thinks I came just to spite him, which, of course, I did. Your siren call would never have lured me from the path of frivolity had Gordon not been so unpleasantly hilarious at the idea of my being able to manage an orphan asylum. I came here to show him that I could; and now, when I can show him, the beast refuses to look.
I tried to show Gordon around and get him interested in the babies, but he wouldn't even look at them. He thinks I came just to annoy him, which, honestly, I did. Your enticing invitation wouldn’t have pulled me away from my fun if Gordon hadn’t been so hilariously rude about the idea of me running an orphanage. I came here to prove I could do it; and now, when I have the chance to show him, the jerk won’t even look.
I invited him to dinner, with a warning about the pressed veal; but he said no, thanks, that I needed a change. So we went to Brantwood Inn and had broiled lobster. I had positively forgotten that the creatures were edible.
I invited him to dinner, giving him a heads-up about the pressed veal, but he declined, saying I needed a change. So we went to Brantwood Inn and had broiled lobster. I had completely forgotten that those creatures were actually edible.
This morning at seven o'clock I was wakened by the furious ringing of the telephone bell. It was Gordon at the station, about to resume his journey to Washington. He was in quite a contrite mood about the asylum, and apologized largely for refusing to look at my children. It was not that he didn't like orphans, he said; it was just that he didn't like them in juxtaposition to me. And to prove his good intentions, he would send them a bag of peanuts.
This morning at seven, I was jolted awake by the relentless ringing of the phone. It was Gordon at the station, getting ready to continue his trip to Washington. He was feeling pretty guilty about the asylum and apologized profusely for refusing to meet my kids. He said it wasn’t that he didn’t like orphans; he just didn’t want to be around them when I was there. To show he meant well, he would send them a bag of peanuts.
I feel as fresh and revivified after my little fling as though I'd had a real vacation. There's no doubt about it, an hour or so of exciting talk is more of a tonic to me than a pint of iron and strychnine pills.
I feel as refreshed and revitalized after my little fling as if I’ve just had a real vacation. There’s no doubt about it, an hour or so of exciting conversation does more for me than a pint of iron and strychnine pills.
You owe me two letters, dear Madam. Pay them TOUT DE SUITE, or I lay down my pen forever.
You owe me two letters, dear Madam. Send them right away, or I'll put down my pen for good.
Yours, as usual,
As always,
S. McB.
S. McB.
Tuesday, 5 P.M. My dear Enemy:
Tuesday, 5 PM. My dear Enemy:
I am told that during my absence this afternoon you paid us a call and dug up a scandal. You claim that the children under Miss Snaith are not receiving their due in the matter of cod-liver oil.
I’ve been told that while I was gone this afternoon, you stopped by and uncovered a scandal. You say that the kids under Miss Snaith aren’t getting their proper share of cod-liver oil.
I am sorry if your medicinal orders have not been carried out, but you must know that it is a difficult matter to introduce that abominably smelling stuff into the inside of a squirming child. And poor Miss Snaith is a very much overworked person. She has ten more children to care for than should rightly fall into the lot of any single woman, and until we find her another assistant, she has very little time for the fancy touches you demand.
I’m sorry if your medicine orders haven’t been fulfilled, but you have to understand that it’s really challenging to get that awful-smelling stuff into a squirming child. And poor Miss Snaith is extremely overworked. She has ten more kids to look after than any one person should have, and until we get her more help, she has very little time for the extra details you’re asking for.
Also, my dear Enemy, she is very susceptible to abuse. When you feel in a fighting mood, I wish you would expend your belligerence upon me. I don't mind it; quite the contrary. But that poor lady has retired to her room in a state of hysterics, leaving nine babies to be tucked into bed by whomever it may concern.
Also, my dear Enemy, she is very vulnerable to mistreatment. When you’re in a combative mood, I wish you would direct your aggression toward me. I don't mind it; quite the opposite. But that poor lady has gone to her room in tears, leaving nine kids to be put to bed by whoever is available.
If you have any powders that would be settling to her nerves, please send them back by Sadie Kate.
If you have any powders that might be upsetting her nerves, please send them back with Sadie Kate.
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
Wednesday Morning.
Wednesday Morning.
Dear Dr. MacRae:
Dear Dr. MacRae:
I am not taking an unintelligent stand in the least; I am simply asking that you come to me with all complaints, and not stir up my staff in any such volcanic fashion as that of yesterday.
I’m not being unreasonable at all; I’m just asking that you bring any complaints to me directly and not cause such a big ruckus with my staff like you did yesterday.
I endeavor to carry out all of your orders—of a medical nature—with scrupulous care. In the present case there seems to have been some negligence; I don't know what did become of those fourteen unadministered bottles of cod-liver oil that you have made such a fuss about, but I shall investigate.
I work hard to follow all of your medical orders with great care. In this instance, there seems to have been some negligence; I'm not sure what happened to those fourteen bottles of cod-liver oil that you’ve been so concerned about, but I will look into it.
And I cannot, for various reasons, pack off Miss Snaith in the summary fashion you demand. She may be, in certain respects, inefficient; but she is kind to the children, and with supervision will answer temporarily.
And I can't send Miss Snaith away in the quick way you're asking for, for several reasons. She might be somewhat inefficient in some areas, but she's nice to the kids, and with some guidance, she'll work for the time being.
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
Thursday.
Thursday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
SOYEZ TRANQUILLE. I have issued orders, and in the future the children shall receive all of the cod-liver oil that by rights is theirs. A wilfu' man maun hae his way.
SOYEZ TRANQUILLE. I have given orders, and from now on the children will get all the cod-liver oil that they rightfully deserve. A stubborn man must have his way.
S. McB.
S. McB.
March 22.
March 22nd.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
Asylum life has looked up a trifle during the past few days—since the great Cod-Liver Oil War has been raging. The first skirmish occurred on Tuesday, and I unfortunately missed it, having accompanied four of my children on a shopping trip to the village. I returned to find the asylum teeming with hysterics. Our explosive doctor had paid us a visit.
Asylum life has improved a bit over the past few days—ever since the big Cod-Liver Oil War started. The first clash happened on Tuesday, but I missed it because I took four of my kids on a shopping trip to the village. When I got back, the asylum was filled with chaos. Our fiery doctor had come to see us.
Sandy has two passions in life: one is for cod-liver oil and the other for spinach, neither popular in our nursery. Some time ago—before I came, in fact—he had ordered cod-liver oil for all of the {aenemic}—Heavens! there's that word again! aneamic children, and had given instructions as to its application to Miss Snaith. Yesterday, in his suspicious Scotch fashion, he began nosing about to find out why the poor little rats weren't fattening up as fast as he thought they ought, and he unearthed a hideous scandal. They haven't received a whiff of cod-liver oil for three whole weeks! At that point he exploded, and all was joy and excitement and hysterics.
Sandy has two passions in life: one is cod-liver oil and the other is spinach, neither of which is popular in our nursery. Some time ago—before I arrived, actually—he had ordered cod-liver oil for all of the anemic children, and had given instructions on how to administer it to Miss Snaith. Yesterday, in his suspicious Scottish way, he started snooping around to figure out why the poor little kids weren't gaining weight as quickly as he thought they should, and he uncovered a shocking scandal. They haven't had a drop of cod-liver oil for three whole weeks! At that point, he blew up, and everything turned into joy, excitement, and chaos.
Betsy says that she had to send Sadie Kate to the laundry on an improvised errand, as his language was not fit for orphan ears. By the time I got home he had gone, and Miss Snaith had retired, weeping, to her room, and the whereabouts of fourteen bottles of cod-liver oil was still unexplained. He had accused her at the top of his voice of taking them herself. Imagine Miss Snaith,—she who looks so innocent and chinless and inoffensive—stealing cod-liver oil from these poor helpless little orphans and guzzling it in private!
Betsy said she had to send Sadie Kate to the laundry on a makeshift errand because his language was not suitable for orphan ears. By the time I got home, he was gone, and Miss Snaith had gone to her room in tears, and the mystery of the fourteen bottles of cod-liver oil was still unsolved. He had loudly accused her of taking them herself. Just think about Miss Snaith—she seems so innocent, chinless, and harmless—stealing cod-liver oil from these poor helpless orphans and gulping it down in secret!
Her defense consisted in hysterical assertions that she loved the children, and had done her duty as she saw it. She did not believe in giving medicine to babies; she thought drugs bad for their poor little stomachs. You can imagine Sandy! Oh, dear! oh, dear! To think I missed it!
Her defense was filled with over-the-top claims that she loved the children and had done what she thought was right. She didn’t believe in giving medicine to babies; she thought drugs were harmful to their delicate little stomachs. You can imagine Sandy! Oh no! To think I missed it!
Well, the tempest raged for three days, and Sadie Kate nearly ran her little legs off carrying peppery messages back and forth between us and the doctor. It is only under stress that I communicate with him by telephone, as he has an interfering old termagant of a housekeeper who "listens in" on the down-stairs switch. I don't wish the scandalous secrets of the John Grier spread abroad. The doctor demanded Miss Snaith's instant dismissal, and I refused. Of course she is a vague, unfocused, inefficient old thing, but she does love the children, and with proper supervision is fairly useful.
Well, the storm lasted for three days, and Sadie Kate nearly wore herself out running back and forth between us and the doctor with urgent messages. I only talk to him on the phone when it’s really necessary because his nosy housekeeper eavesdrops on the downstairs line. I don't want the scandalous secrets of the John Grier getting out. The doctor insisted that Miss Snaith be fired immediately, and I said no. Sure, she's a bit absent-minded and not very effective, but she really cares about the kids, and with the right guidance, she's actually quite helpful.
At least, in the light of her exalted family connections, I can't pack her off in disgrace like a drunken cook. I am hoping in time to eliminate her by a process of delicate suggestion; perhaps I can make her feel that her health requires a winter in California. And also, no matter what the doctor wants, so positive and dictatorial is his manner that just out of self-respect one must take the other side. When he states that the world is round, I instantly assert it to be triangular.
At least, considering her high-status family connections, I can't send her away in shame like a drunken cook. I'm hoping to gradually encourage her to leave by subtly suggesting that her health needs a winter in California. Plus, no matter what the doctor says, his overbearing and authoritative attitude drives me to take the opposing view just out of self-respect. When he claims the world is round, I immediately argue that it's triangular.
Finally, after three pleasantly exhilarating days, the whole business settled itself. An apology (a very dilute one) was extracted from him for being so unkind to the poor lady, and full confession, with promises for the future, was drawn from her. It seems that she couldn't bear to make the little dears take the stuff, but, for obvious reasons, she couldn't bear to cross Dr. MacRae, so she hid the last fourteen bottles in a dark corner of the cellar. Just how she was planning to dispose of her loot I don't know. Can you pawn cod-liver oil?
Finally, after three exciting days, everything settled down. He was made to give a half-hearted apology for being so unkind to the poor lady, and she fully confessed, making promises for the future. It turns out she couldn’t stand the thought of making the little ones take the medicine, but, for obvious reasons, she didn’t want to upset Dr. MacRae, so she hid the last fourteen bottles in a dark corner of the cellar. I have no idea how she planned to get rid of her stash. Can you even pawn cod-liver oil?
LATER.
Later.
Peace negotiations had just ended this afternoon, and Sandy had made a dignified exit, when the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff was announced. Two enemies in the course of an hour are really too much!
Peace negotiations had just wrapped up this afternoon, and Sandy had made a dignified exit when the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff was announced. Two enemies in the span of an hour is just too much!
The Hon. Cy was awfully impressed with the new dining room, especially when he heard that Betsy had put on those rabbits with her own lily-white hands. Stenciling rabbits on walls, he allows, is a fitting pursuit for a woman, but an executive position like mine is a trifle out of her sphere. He thinks it would be far wiser if Mr. Pendleton did not give me such free scope in the spending of his money.
The Hon. Cy was really impressed with the new dining room, especially when he found out that Betsy had painted those rabbits with her own fair hands. He believes that stenciling rabbits on walls is a fitting activity for a woman, but an executive role like mine is a bit beyond her reach. He thinks it would be much smarter if Mr. Pendleton didn’t give me such free rein with his money.
While we were still contemplating Betsy's mural flight, an awful crash came from the pantry, and we found Gladiola Murphy weeping among the ruins of five yellow plates. It is sufficiently shattering to my nerves to hear these crashes when I am alone, but it is peculiarly shattering when receiving a call from an unsympathetic trustee.
While we were still thinking about Betsy's mural, a terrible crash erupted from the pantry, and we found Gladiola Murphy crying among the shattered pieces of five yellow plates. It's already stressful for me to hear these crashes when I'm alone, but it's especially distressing when I'm on the phone with an unsympathetic trustee.
I shall cherish that set of dishes to the best of my ability, but if you wish to see your gift in all its uncracked beauty, I should advise you to hurry North, and visit the John Grier Home without delay.
I will treasure that set of dishes as much as I can, but if you want to see your gift in all its flawless beauty, I suggest you hurry up North and visit the John Grier Home as soon as possible.
Yours as ever,
Always yours,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
March 26. My dear Judy:
March 26. Dear Judy:
I have just been holding an interview with a woman who wants to take a baby home to surprise her husband. I had a hard time convincing her that, since he is to support the child, it might be a delicate attention to consult him about its adoption. She argued stubbornly that it was none of his business, seeing that the onerous work of washing and dressing and training would fall upon her. I am really beginning to feel sorry for men. Some of them seem to have very few rights.
I just had an interview with a woman who wants to bring a baby home to surprise her husband. I had a tough time convincing her that, since he will be supporting the child, it might be considerate to consult him about the adoption. She argued stubbornly that it was none of his business, since all the hard work of washing, dressing, and training would fall on her. I’m really starting to feel sorry for men. Some of them seem to have very few rights.
Even our pugnacious doctor I suspect of being a victim of domestic tyranny, and his housekeeper's at that. It is scandalous the way Maggie McGurk neglects the poor man. I have had to put him in charge of an orphan. Sadie Kate, with a very housewifely air, is this moment sitting cross-legged on the hearth rug sewing buttons on his overcoat while he is upstairs tending babies.
Even our combative doctor seems to be a victim of domestic oppression, and it's his housekeeper's fault. It's outrageous how much Maggie McGurk neglects the poor man. I've had to put him in charge of an orphan. Sadie Kate, looking very much the homemaker, is right now sitting cross-legged on the hearth rug sewing buttons on his overcoat while he's upstairs looking after the babies.
You would never believe it, but Sandy and I are growing quite confidential in a dour Scotch fashion. It has become his habit, when homeward bound after his professional calls, to chug up to our door about four in the afternoon, and make the rounds of the house to make sure that we are not developing cholera morbus or infanticide or anything catching, and then present himself at four-thirty at my library door to talk over our mutual problems.
You wouldn’t believe it, but Sandy and I are getting pretty close in a serious, Scotch kind of way. He’s started the routine of stopping by our place around four in the afternoon after his work, checking around the house to make sure we’re not coming down with something contagious, like cholera or a case of infanticide, and then he shows up at my library door at four-thirty to discuss our shared issues.
Does he come to see me? Oh, no, indeed; he comes to get tea and toast and marmalade. The man hath a lean and hungry look. His housekeeper doesn't feed him enough. As soon as I get the upper hand of him a little more, I am going to urge him on to revolt.
Does he come to see me? Oh, no, definitely not; he comes for tea, toast, and marmalade. The guy has a skinny and needy appearance. His housekeeper doesn't feed him enough. As soon as I have a bit more control over him, I'm going to encourage him to rebel.
Meanwhile he is very grateful for something to eat, but oh, so funny in his attempts at social grace! At first he would hold a cup of tea in one hand, a plate of muffins in the other, and then search blankly for a third hand to eat them with. Now he has solved the problem. He turns in his toes and brings his knees together; then he folds his napkin into a long, narrow wedge that fills the crack between them, thus forming a very workable pseudo lap; after that he sits with tense muscles until the tea is drunk. I suppose I ought to provide a table, but the spectacle of Sandy with his toes turned in is the one gleam of amusement that my day affords.
Meanwhile, he’s really thankful for something to eat, but oh, it’s so funny watching him try to be social! At first, he would hold a cup of tea in one hand and a plate of muffins in the other and then look around cluelessly for a third hand to eat with. Now he has figured it out. He turns his toes in and brings his knees together; then he folds his napkin into a long, narrow shape that fills the gap between them, creating a makeshift lap. After that, he sits with tense muscles until the tea is finished. I guess I should provide a table, but the sight of Sandy with his toes turned in is the only bit of amusement my day offers.
The postman is just driving in with, I trust, a letter from you. Letters make a very interesting break in the monotony of asylum life. If you wish to keep this superintendent contented, you'd better write often.
The postman is just pulling in with, I hope, a letter from you. Letters provide a nice change from the monotony of life in the asylum. If you want to keep this superintendent happy, you should write often.
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
Mail received and contents noted.
Mail received and noted.
Kindly convey my thanks to Jervis for three alligators in a swamp. He shows rare artistic taste in the selection of his post cards. Your seven-page illustrated letter from Miami arrives at the same time. I should have known Jervis from the palm tree perfectly, even without the label, as the tree has so much the more hair of the two. Also, I have a polite bread-and-butter letter from my nice young man in Washington, and a book from him, likewise a box of candy. The bag of peanuts for the kiddies he has shipped by express. Did you ever know such assiduity?
Please thank Jervis for the three alligators he sent from the swamp. He has an impressive eye for picking out his postcards. Your seven-page illustrated letter from Miami arrives at the same time. I would have recognized Jervis from the palm tree alone, even without the label, since the tree is much hairier than him. I also received a nice thank-you note from my young man in Washington, along with a book and a box of candy. He's even sent a bag of peanuts for the kids by express. Can you believe how attentive he is?
Jimmie favors me with the news that he is coming to visit me as soon as father can spare him from the factory. The poor boy does hate that factory so! It isn't that he is lazy; he just simply isn't interested in overalls. But father can't understand such a lack of taste. Having built up the factory, he of course has developed a passion for overalls, which should have been inherited by his eldest son. I find it awfully convenient to have been born a daughter; I am not asked to like overalls, but am left free to follow any morbid career I may choose, such as this.
Jimmie lets me know that he’s coming to visit as soon as Dad can let him off from the factory. The poor guy really hates that factory! It’s not that he’s lazy; he just has no interest in overalls. But Dad can't grasp such a lack of appreciation. Having built the factory, he’s obviously developed a passion for overalls, which he thinks should have been passed down to his oldest son. I find it really convenient to have been born a daughter; I’m not expected to like overalls and am free to pursue any dark path I choose, like this one.
To return to my mail: There arrives an advertisement from a wholesale grocer, saying that he has exceptionally economical brands of oatmeal, rice, flour, prunes, and dried apples that he packs specially for prisons and charitable institutions. Sounds nutritious, doesn't it?
To get back to my email: An advertisement from a wholesale grocer just came in, claiming he has really affordable brands of oatmeal, rice, flour, prunes, and dried apples that he packs specifically for prisons and charitable organizations. Sounds healthy, right?
I also have letters from a couple of farmers, each of whom would like to have a strong, husky boy of fourteen who is not afraid of work, their object being to give him a good home. These good homes appear with great frequency just as the spring planting is coming on. When we investigated one of them last week, the village minister, in answer to our usual question, "Does he own any property?" replied in a very guarded manner, "I think he must own a corkscrew."
I also have letters from a couple of farmers, each looking for a strong, tough boy of fourteen who isn’t afraid of hard work, their goal being to give him a good home. These good homes seem to pop up a lot right around the time for spring planting. When we checked out one of them last week, the village minister, in response to our usual question, "Does he own any property?" answered very cautiously, "I think he must own a corkscrew."
You would hardly credit some of the homes that we have investigated. We found a very prosperous country family the other day, who lived huddled together in three rooms in order to keep the rest of their handsome house clean. The fourteen-year girl they wished to adopt, by way of a cheap servant, was to sleep in the same tiny room with their own three children. Their kitchen-dining-parlor apartment was more cluttered up and unaired than any city tenement I ever saw, and the thermometer at eighty-four. One could scarcely say they were living there; they were rather COOKING. You may be sure they got no girl from us!
You would hardly believe some of the homes we've looked into. We came across a very well-off country family the other day, who were crammed into three rooms just to keep the rest of their nice house clean. The fourteen-year-old girl they wanted to adopt as a cheap helper was supposed to sleep in the same tiny room with their three kids. Their kitchen-dining-living area was messier and stuffier than any city apartment I’ve ever seen, with the temperature at eighty-four degrees. It was hard to say they were actually living there; they were more like COOKING. You can bet they didn’t get a girl from us!
I have made one invariable rule—every other is flexible. No child is to be placed out unless the proposed family can offer better advantages than we can give. I mean than we are going to be able to give in the course of a few months, when we get ourselves made over into a model institution. I shall have to confess that at present we are still pretty bad.
I have one unchanging rule—everything else is negotiable. No child should be placed elsewhere unless the potential family can provide better opportunities than we can. I mean better than what we will be able to provide in a few months when we transform ourselves into a model institution. I have to admit that right now, we’re still not doing so well.
But anyway, I am very CHOOSEY in regard to homes, and I reject three-fourths of those that offer.
But anyway, I'm very picky about homes, and I turn down three-quarters of the ones that are offered.
LATER.
Later.
Gordon has made honorable amends to my children. His bag of peanuts is here, made of burlap and three feet high.
Gordon has made respectful reparations to my kids. His bag of peanuts is here, made of burlap and three feet tall.
Do you remember the dessert of peanuts and maple sugar they used to give us at college? We turned up our noses, but ate. I am instituting it here, and I assure you we don't turn up our noses. It is a pleasure to feed children who have graduated from a course of Mrs. Lippett; they are pathetically grateful for small blessings.
Do you remember the dessert of peanuts and maple sugar they used to serve us in college? We wrinkled our noses at it, but still ate it. I'm introducing it here, and I promise we don’t turn up our noses. It's a joy to feed kids who have completed a course with Mrs. Lippett; they are genuinely grateful for even the smallest treats.
You can't complain that this letter is too short.
You can't say that this letter is too short.
Yours,
Best,
On the verge of writer's cramp,
On the brink of writer's cramp,
S. McB.
S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Off and on, all day Friday.
Off and on, all day Friday.
Dear Judy:
Dear Judy:
You will be interested to hear that I have encountered another enemy—the doctor's housekeeper. I had talked to the creature several times over the telephone, and had noted that her voice was not distinguished by the soft, low accents that mark the caste of "Vere de Vere"; but now I have seen her. This morning, while returning from the village, I made a slight detour, and passed our doctor's house. Sandy is evidently the result of environment—olive green, with a mansard roof and the shades pulled down. You would think he had just been holding a funeral.
You’ll be interested to know that I’ve come across another enemy—the doctor’s housekeeper. I had spoken to her a few times on the phone and noticed that her voice didn’t have the soft, low tones typical of the “Vere de Vere” class; but now I’ve actually seen her. This morning, on my way back from the village, I took a slight detour and passed by the doctor’s house. Sandy is clearly a product of her surroundings—olive green, with a mansard roof and the shades drawn down. You’d think they had just been hosting a funeral.
I don't wonder that the amenities of life have somewhat escaped the poor man. After studying the outside of his house, I was filled with curiosity to see if the inside matched.
I can't blame the poor man for missing out on the comforts of life. After checking out the exterior of his house, I was really curious to see if the inside was the same.
Having sneezed five times before breakfast this morning, I decided to go in and consult him professionally. To be sure, he is a children's specialist, but sneezes are common to all ages. So I boldly marched up the steps and rang the bell.
Having sneezed five times before breakfast this morning, I decided to go in and consult him professionally. Sure, he specializes in children's health, but sneezes happen to people of all ages. So I confidently marched up the steps and rang the bell.
Hark! What sound is that that breaks upon our revelry? The Hon. Cy's voice, as I live, approaching up the stairs. I've letters to write, and I can't be tormented by his blether, so I am rushing Jane to the door with orders to look him firmly in the eye and tell him I am out.
Hey! What’s that noise interrupting our fun? It’s the Hon. Cy’s voice, I swear, coming up the stairs. I have letters to write, and I can't deal with his nonsense, so I'm pushing Jane to the door with instructions to look him straight in the eye and tell him I’m not available.
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
On with the dance! Let joy be unconfined. He's gone.
On with the dance! Let joy be limitless. He's gone.
But those eight stars represent eight agonizing minutes spent in the dark of my library closet. The Hon. Cy received Jane's communication with the affable statement that he would sit down and wait. Whereupon he entered and sat. But did Jane leave me to languish in the closet? No; she enticed him to the nursery to see the AWFUL thing that Sadie Kate has done. The Hon. Cy loves to see awful things, particularly when done by Sadie Kate. I haven't an idea what scandal Jane is about to disclose; but no matter, he has gone.
But those eight stars stand for eight torturous minutes spent in the dark of my library closet. The Hon. Cy responded to Jane's message with a friendly remark that he would sit down and wait. So he came in and sat down. But did Jane leave me stuck in the closet? No; she lured him to the nursery to check out the AWFUL thing that Sadie Kate has done. The Hon. Cy loves to see shocking things, especially when they're done by Sadie Kate. I have no clue what scandal Jane is about to reveal; but it doesn't matter, he's gone.
Where was I? Oh, yes; I had rung the doctor's bell.
Where was I? Oh right; I had rung the doctor's bell.
The door was opened by a large, husky person with her sleeves rolled up. She looked very businesslike, with a hawk's nose and cold gray eyes.
The door was opened by a big, sturdy person with her sleeves rolled up. She looked very serious, with a sharp nose and cold gray eyes.
"Well?" said she, her tone implying that I was a vacuum-cleaning agent.
"Well?" she said, her tone suggesting that I was some kind of cleaning service.
"Good morning." I smiled affably, and stepped inside. "Is this Mrs. McGurk?"
"Good morning." I smiled warmly and stepped inside. "Is this Mrs. McGurk?"
"It is," said she. "An' ye'll be the new young woman in the orphan asylum?"
"It is," she said. "And you'll be the new young woman at the orphanage?"
"I am that," said I. "Is himself at home?"
"I am that," I said. "Is he home?"
"He is not," said she.
"He's not," she said.
"But this is his office hour."
"But this is his office hour."
"He don't keep it regular'."
"He doesn't keep it regular."
"He ought," said I, sternly. "Kindly tell him that Miss McBride called to consult him, and ask him to look in at the John Grier Home this afternoon."
"He should," I said firmly. "Please let him know that Miss McBride stopped by to see him, and ask him to visit the John Grier Home this afternoon."
"Ump'!" grunted Mrs. McGurk, and closed the door so promptly that she shut in the hem of my skirt.
"Ump!" grunted Mrs. McGurk, and closed the door so quickly that she trapped the hem of my skirt.
When I told the doctor this afternoon, he shrugged his shoulders, and observed that that was Maggie's gracious way.
When I told the doctor this afternoon, he shrugged and noted that was just Maggie's gracious style.
"And why do you put up with Maggie?" said I.
"And why do you tolerate Maggie?" I said.
"And where would I find any one better?" said he. "Doing the work for a lone man who comes as irregularly to meals as a twenty-four-hour day will permit is no sinecure. She furnishes little sunshine in the home, but she does manage to produce a hot dinner at nine o'clock at night."
"And where would I find anyone better?" he said. "Taking care of a lone man who shows up for meals as randomly as a twenty-four-hour day allows is no easy job. She doesn’t provide much warmth in the home, but she does manage to serve a hot dinner at nine o'clock at night."
Just the same, I am willing to wager that her hot dinners are neither delicious nor well served. She's an inefficient, lazy old termagant, and I know why she doesn't like me. She imagines that I want to steal away the doctor and oust her from a comfortable position, something of a joke, considering. But I am not undeceiving her; it will do the old thing good to worry a little. She may cook him better dinners, and fatten him up a trifle. I understand that fat men are good-natured.
Just the same, I bet her hot dinners aren’t tasty or properly served. She’s an ineffective, lazy old grouch, and I know why she doesn’t like me. She thinks I want to take the doctor away from her and push her out of her comfy spot, which is kind of funny when you think about it. But I’m not going to disillusion her; it’ll do her some good to worry a bit. She might cook him better meals and plump him up a little. I’ve heard that chubby guys are easier to get along with.
TEN O'CLOCK.
10 o'clock.
I don't know what silly stuff I have been writing to you off and on all day, between interruptions. It has got to be night at last, and I am too tired to do so much as hold up my head. Your song tells the sad truth, "There is no joy in life but sleep."
I don't know what pointless stuff I've been writing to you on and off all day, with all these interruptions. It must finally be night, and I'm too tired to even hold my head up. Your song speaks the sad truth, "There's no joy in life except for sleep."
I bid you good night.
Good night.
S. McB.
S. McB.
Isn't the English language absurd? Look at those forty monosyllables in a row!
Isn't the English language ridiculous? Just look at those forty one-syllable words in a row!
J. G. H.,
J.G.H.
April 1.
April Fools' Day.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
I have placed out Isador Gutschneider. His new mother is a Swedish woman, fat and smiling, with blue eyes and yellow hair. She chose him out of the whole nurseryful of children because he was the brunettest baby there. She has always loved brunettes, but in her most ambitious dreams has never hoped to have one of her own. His name is going to be changed to Oscar Carlson, after his new dead uncle.
I have chosen Isador Gutschneider. His new mom is a Swedish woman, plump and cheerful, with blue eyes and blonde hair. She picked him out of all the kids in the nursery because he was the darkest-haired baby there. She has always loved brunettes, but in her wildest dreams, she never imagined having one of her own. His name is going to be changed to Oscar Carlson, after his late uncle.
My first trustees' meeting is to occur next Wednesday. I confess that I am not looking forward to it with impatience—especially as an inaugural address by me will be its chief feature. I wish our president were here to back me up! But at least I am sure of one thing. I am never going to adopt the Uriah Heepish attitude toward trustees that characterized Mrs. Lippett's manners. I shall treat "first Wednesdays" as a pleasant social diversion, my day at home, when the friends of the asylum gather for discussion and relaxation; and I shall endeavor not to let our pleasures discommode the orphans. You see how I have taken to heart the unhappy experiences of that little Jerusha.
My first trustees' meeting is set for next Wednesday. I have to admit, I'm not super excited about it—especially since I’ll be giving the opening speech. I wish our president could be here to support me! But at least I know one thing for sure: I’m never going to adopt the submissive attitude toward trustees that Mrs. Lippett had. I’ll treat "first Wednesdays" as a nice social outing, my day at home, when the friends of the shelter come together for discussion and relaxation; and I’ll try not to let our fun get in the way of the orphans. You can see how much I’ve thought about the unfortunate experiences of that little Jerusha.
Your last letter has arrived, and no suggestion in it of traveling North. Isn't it about time that you were turning your faces back toward Fifth Avenue? Hame is hame, be 't ever sae hamely. Don't you marvel at the Scotch that flows so readily from my pen? Since being acquent' wi' Sandy, I hae gathered a muckle new vocabulary. The dinner gong! I leave you, to devote a revivifying half-hour to mutton hash. We eat to live in the John Grier Home.
Your last letter has arrived, and there's no hint in it about traveling North. Isn’t it about time you started thinking about Fifth Avenue again? Home is home, no matter how humble it is. Don't you find it amazing how easily the Scottish comes to me now? Since getting to know Sandy, I’ve picked up quite a bit of new vocabulary. The dinner bell! I’m off to spend a refreshing half-hour on mutton hash. We eat to live at the John Grier Home.
SIX O'CLOCK.
6 PM.
The Hon. Cy has been calling again. He drops in with great frequency, hoping to catch me IN DELICTU. How I do not like that man! He is a pink, fat, puffy old thing, with a pink, fat, puffy soul. I was in a very cheery, optimistic frame of mind before his arrival, but now I shall do nothing but grumble for the rest of the day.
The Hon. Cy has been calling again. He stops by really often, hoping to catch me in the act. I can’t stand that guy! He’s a chubby, puffy old man with a chubby, puffy personality. I was in a really good, optimistic mood before he showed up, but now I’m just going to grumble for the rest of the day.
He deplores all of the useless innovations that I am endeavoring to introduce, such as a cheerful playroom, prettier clothes, baths, and better food and fresh air and play and fun and ice-cream and kisses. He says that I will unfit these children to occupy the position in life that God has called them to occupy.
He criticizes all the pointless changes I'm trying to bring in, like a fun playroom, nicer clothes, baths, better food, fresh air, playtime, fun, ice cream, and kisses. He says that I'll make these kids unsuitable for the roles in life that God has destined for them.
At that my Irish blood came to the surface, and I told him that if God had planned to make all of these 113 little children into useless, ignorant, unhappy citizens, I was going to fool God! That we weren't educating them out of their class in the least. We were educating them INTO their natural class much more effectually than is done in the average family. We weren't trying to force them into college if they hadn't any brains, as happens with rich men's sons; and we weren't putting them to work at fourteen if they were naturally ambitious, as happens with poor men's sons. We were watching them closely and individually and discovering their level. If our children showed an aptitude to become farm laborers and nurse-maids, we were going to teach them to be the best possible farm laborers and nurse-maids; and if they showed a tendency to become lawyers, we would turn them into honest, intelligent, open-minded lawyers. (He's a lawyer himself, but certainly not an open-minded one.)
At that moment, my Irish pride kicked in, and I told him that if God intended to turn all 113 of these little kids into useless, ignorant, unhappy citizens, I was going to prove Him wrong! We weren’t educating them out of their class at all. We were actually educating them into their natural class much more effectively than what happens in the average family. We didn’t try to push them into college if they didn’t have the brains, like often happens with rich kids; and we weren’t making them work at fourteen if they were naturally ambitious, as tends to happen with poor kids. We were observing them closely, one by one, to find their true potential. If our kids showed an interest in becoming farm laborers or nursemaids, we would teach them to be the best farm laborers and nursemaids possible; and if they had the potential to be lawyers, we'd help them become honest, smart, open-minded lawyers. (He’s a lawyer himself, but definitely not an open-minded one.)
He grunted when I had finished my remarks, and stirred his tea vigorously. Whereupon I suggested that perhaps he needed another lump of sugar, and dropped it in, and left him to absorb it.
He grunted when I finished my comments and stirred his tea vigorously. Then I suggested that maybe he needed another lump of sugar, dropped it in, and left him to let it dissolve.
The only way to deal with trustees is with a firm and steady hand. You have to keep them in their places.
The only way to handle trustees is with a strong and consistent approach. You need to keep them in line.
Oh, my dear! that smudge in the corner was caused by Singapore's black tongue. He is trying to send you an affectionate kiss. Poor Sing thinks he's a lap dog—isn't it a tragedy when people mistake their vocations? I myself am not always certain that I was born an orphan asylum superintendent.
Oh, my dear! That smudge in the corner was made by Singapore's black tongue. He’s trying to send you a sweet kiss. Poor Sing thinks he’s a lap dog— isn’t it a shame when people get their callings mixed up? I’m not always sure that I was meant to be an orphanage superintendent either.
Yours, til deth,
Yours, till death,
S. McB.
S. McB.
SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE, JOHN GRIER HOME,
SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE, JOHN GRIER HOME
April 4.
April 4th.
THE PENDLETON FAMILY,
THE PENDLETON FAMILY,
Palm Beach, Florida.
Palm Beach, FL.
Dear Sir and Madam:
Dear Sir or Madam:
I have weathered my first visitors' day, and made the trustees a beautiful speech. Everybody said it was a beautiful speech—even my enemies.
I made it through my first visitors' day and gave the trustees a great speech. Everyone said it was a great speech—even my critics.
Mr. Gordon Hallock's recent visit was exceptionally opportune; I gleaned from him many suggestions as to how to carry an audience.
Mr. Gordon Hallock's recent visit was incredibly timely; I picked up many tips from him on how to engage an audience.
"Be funny."—I told about Sadie Kate and a few other cherubs that you don't know.
"Be funny."—I talked about Sadie Kate and a few other kids that you don't know.
"Keep it concrete and fitted to the intelligence of your audience."—I watched the Hon. Cy, and never said a thing that he couldn't understand.
"Keep it clear and suited to the understanding of your audience."—I watched the Hon. Cy, and never said anything he couldn't grasp.
"Flatter your hearers."—I hinted delicately that all of these new reforms were due to the wisdom and initiative of our peerless trustees.
"Flatter your audience."—I subtly suggested that all of these new reforms were thanks to the insight and leadership of our exceptional trustees.
"Give it a high moral tone, with a dash of pathos."—I dwelt upon the parentless condition of these little wards of Society. And it was very affecting—my enemy wiped away a tear!
"Give it a strong moral message, with a touch of emotion."—I focused on the fact that these little dependents of Society were without parents. And it was really moving—my opponent wiped away a tear!
Then I fed them up on chocolate and whipped cream and lemonade and tartar sandwiches, and sent them home, expansive and beaming, but without any appetite for dinner.
Then I filled them up with chocolate, whipped cream, lemonade, and tartar sandwiches, and sent them home, cheerful and glowing, but with no appetite for dinner.
I dwell thus at length upon our triumph, in order to create in you a happy frame of mind, before passing to the higeous calamity that so nearly wrecked the occasion.
I spend a lot of time on our victory to put you in a good mood before moving on to the terrible disaster that almost ruined the event.
"Now follows the dim horror of my tale,
And I feel I'm growing gradually pale,
For, even at this day,
Though its smell has passed away,
When I venture to remember it, I quail!"
"Now comes the dim horror of my story,
And I can feel myself getting gradually pale,
For, even today,
Though its smell has faded away,
Whenever I try to remember it, I shudder!"
You never heard of our little Tammas Kehoe, did you? I simply haven't featured Tammas because he requires so much ink and time and vocabulary. He's a spirited lad, and he follows his dad, a mighty hunter of old—that sounds like more Bab Ballads, but it isn't; I made it up as I went along.
You’ve probably never heard of our little Tammas Kehoe, right? I just haven’t talked about Tammas because he takes a lot of ink, time, and words to describe. He’s a lively kid, and he follows his dad, a great hunter from back in the day—that sounds like more Bab Ballads, but it’s not; I came up with it as I went along.
We can't break Tammas of his inherited predatory instincts. He shoots the chickens with bows and arrows and lassoes the pigs and plays bull-fight with the cows—and oh, is very destructive! But his crowning villainy occurred an hour before the trustees' meeting, when we wanted to be so clean and sweet and engaging.
We can't change Tammas's inherited aggressive instincts. He shoots the chickens with bows and arrows, lassos the pigs, and plays bull-fighter with the cows—and oh, he is very destructive! But his biggest mischief happened an hour before the trustees' meeting when we wanted to be all clean, sweet, and charming.
It seems that he had stolen the rat trap from the oat bin, and had set it up in the wood lot, and yesterday morning was so fortunate as to catch a fine big skunk.
It looks like he had taken the rat trap from the oat bin, set it up in the woods, and yesterday morning was lucky enough to catch a nice big skunk.
Singapore was the first to report the discovery. He returned to the house and rolled on the rugs in a frenzy of remorse over his part of the business. While our attention was occupied with Sing, Tammas was busily skinning his prey in the seclusion of the woodshed. He buttoned the pelt inside his jacket, conveyed it by a devious route through the length of this building, and concealed it under his bed where he thought it wouldn't be found.
Singapore was the first to announce the discovery. He went back to the house and rolled on the rugs in a frenzy of regret about his involvement in the situation. While we were focused on Sing, Tammas was hard at work skinning his catch in the privacy of the woodshed. He tucked the hide inside his jacket, secretly navigated through the building, and hid it under his bed where he believed it would stay hidden.
Then he went—per schedule—to the basement to help freeze the ice-cream for our guests. You notice that we omitted ice-cream from the menu.
Then he went—according to plan—to the basement to help freeze the ice cream for our guests. You’ll notice that we left ice cream off the menu.
In the short time that remained we created all the counter-irritation that was possible. Noah (negro furnace man) started smudge fires at intervals about the grounds. Cook waved a shovelful of burning coffee through the house. Betsy sprinkled the corridors with ammonia. Miss Snaith daintily treated the rugs with violet water. I sent an emergency call to the doctor who came and mixed a gigantic solution of chlorid of lime. But still, above and beneath and through every other odor, the unlaid ghost of Tammas's victim cried for vengeance.
In the little time we had left, we created all the distractions we could. Noah, the furnace guy, started smudge fires at different spots around the grounds. Cook waved a shovelful of burning coffee through the house. Betsy sprinkled the hallways with ammonia. Miss Snaith carefully treated the rugs with violet water. I made an emergency call to the doctor, who arrived and mixed up a huge solution of lime chloride. Yet, despite everything, the lingering presence of Tammas's victim still cried out for revenge.
The first business that came up at the meeting, was whether we should dig a hole and bury, not only Tammas, but the whole main building. You can see with what finesse I carried off the shocking event, when I tell you that the Hon. Cy went home chuckling over a funny story, instead of grumbling at the new superintendent's inability to manage boys.
The first topic that came up at the meeting was whether we should dig a hole and bury not just Tammas but the entire main building. You can see how skillfully I handled the shocking event when I tell you that the Hon. Cy went home laughing about a funny story instead of complaining about the new superintendent's inability to control the boys.
We've our ain bit weird to dree!
We've got our own little odd thing to endure!
As ever,
As always,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Friday, likewise Saturday.
Friday, and also Saturday.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
Singapore is still living in the carriage house, and receiving a daily carbolic-scented bath from Tammas Kehoe. I am hoping that some day, in the distant future, my darling will be fit to return.
Singapore is still in the carriage house and getting a daily carbolic-scented bath from Tammas Kehoe. I'm hoping that someday, in the far-off future, my darling will be ready to come back.
You will be pleased to hear that I have instituted a new method of spending your money. We are henceforth to buy a part of our shoes and drygoods and drug store comestibles from local shops, at not quite such low prices as the wholesale jobbers give, but still at a discount, and the education that is being thrown in is worth the difference. The reason is this: I have made the discovery that half of my children know nothing of money or its purchasing power. They think that shoes and corn meal and red-flannel petticoats and mutton stew and gingham shirts just float down from the blue sky.
You’ll be happy to know that I’ve started a new way of spending your money. From now on, we’re going to buy some of our shoes, dry goods, and grocery items from local stores. They won’t be as cheap as the wholesale suppliers, but they will still be at a discount, and the education we gain from this experience is worth the extra cost. The reason is simple: I’ve realized that half of my children don’t understand money or its buying power. They think that shoes, cornmeal, red flannel petticoats, mutton stew, and gingham shirts just magically appear from the sky.
Last week I dropped a new green dollar bill out of my purse, and an eight-year-old urchin picked it up and asked if he could keep that picture of a bird. (American eagle in the center.) That child had never seen a bill in his life! I began an investigation, and discovered that dozens of children in this asylum have never bought anything or have ever seen anybody buy anything. And we are planning to turn them out at sixteen into a world governed entirely by the purchasing power of dollars and cents! Good heavens! just think of it! They are not to lead sheltered lives with somebody eternally looking after them; they have got to know how to get the very most they can out of every penny they can manage to earn.
Last week I dropped a new green dollar bill out of my purse, and an eight-year-old kid picked it up and asked if he could keep that picture of a bird. (American eagle in the center.) That child had never seen a bill in his life! I started looking into it and found that dozens of kids in this shelter have never bought anything or seen anyone buy anything. And we plan to send them out into a world entirely governed by the buying power of dollars and cents when they turn sixteen! Good heavens! just think about it! They aren’t meant to live sheltered lives with someone always taking care of them; they need to learn how to get the most out of every penny they can earn.
I pondered the question all one night, at intervals, and went to the village at nine o'clock the next morning. I held conferences with seven storekeepers; found four open-minded and helpful, two doubtful, and one actively stupid. I have started with the four—drygoods, groceries, shoes, and stationery. In return for somewhat large orders from us, they are to turn themselves and their clerks into teachers for my children, who are to go to the stores, inspect the stocks, and do their own purchasing with real money.
I thought about the question all through the night, on and off, and went to the village at nine o'clock the next morning. I talked to seven storekeepers; four were open-minded and helpful, two were uncertain, and one was outright clueless. I decided to work with the four—dry goods, groceries, shoes, and stationery. In exchange for somewhat large orders from us, they are going to train themselves and their clerks to teach my children, who will visit the stores, check the inventory, and make their own purchases with real money.
For example, Jane needs a spool of blue sewing-silk and a yard of elastic; so two little girls, intrusted with a silver quarter, trot hand in hand to Mr. Meeker's. They match the silk with anxious care, and watch the clerk jealously while he measures the elastic, to make sure that he doesn't stretch it. Then they bring back six cents change, receive my thanks and praise, and retire to the ranks tingling with a sense of achievement.
For example, Jane needs a spool of blue sewing thread and a yard of elastic; so two little girls, entrusted with a silver quarter, skip hand in hand to Mr. Meeker's. They carefully match the silk and watch the clerk closely while he measures the elastic, making sure he doesn’t stretch it. Then they come back with six cents in change, receive my thanks and praise, and return to the group buzzing with a sense of accomplishment.
Isn't it pathetic? Ordinary children of ten or twelve automatically know so many things that our little incubator chicks have never dreamed of. But I have a variety of plans on foot. Just give me time, and you will see. One of these days I'll be turning out some nearly normal youngsters.
Isn't it sad? Regular kids at ten or twelve automatically know so much that our little incubator chicks have never even thought of. But I have a bunch of plans in the works. Just give me some time, and you'll see. One of these days, I’ll be producing some almost normal kids.
LATER.
Later.
I've an empty evening ahead, so I'll settle to some further gossip with you.
I have a free evening ahead, so I'll catch up on some more gossip with you.
You remember the peanuts that Gordon Hallock sent? Well, I was so gracious when I thanked him that it incited him to fresh effort. He apparently went into a toy shop, and placed himself unreservedly in the hands of an enterprising clerk. Yesterday two husky expressmen deposited in our front hall a crate full of expensive furry animals built to be consumed by the children of the rich. They are not exactly what I should have purchased had I been the one to disburse such a fortune, but my babies find them very huggable. The chicks are now taking to bed with them lions and elephants and bears and giraffes. I don't know what the psychological effect will be. Do you suppose when they grow up they will all join the circus?
You remember the peanuts that Gordon Hallock sent? Well, I was so polite when I thanked him that it motivated him to put in more effort. He apparently went into a toy store and fully trusted an enthusiastic clerk. Yesterday, two strong delivery guys dropped off a crate full of pricey stuffed animals made for wealthy kids. They aren’t exactly what I would have bought if I were spending that kind of money, but my kids find them super cuddly. The little ones are now going to bed with lions, elephants, bears, and giraffes. I have no idea what the psychological impact will be. Do you think when they grow up they’ll all join the circus?
Oh, dear me, here is Miss Snaith, coming to pay a social call.
Oh dear, here comes Miss Snaith, making a social visit.
Good-by.
Goodbye.
S.
S.
P.S. The prodigal has returned. He sends his respectful regards, and three wags of the tail.
P.S. The wayward one has come back. He sends his respectful greetings and three tail wags.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
April 7. My dear Judy:
April 7. My dear Judy:
I have just been reading a pamphlet on manual training for girls, and another on the proper diet for institutions—right proportions of proteins, fats, starches, etc. In these days of scientific charity, when every problem has been tabulated, you can run an institution by chart. I don't see how Mrs. Lippett could have made all the mistakes she did, assuming, of course,that she knew how to read. But there is one quite important branch of institutional work that has not been touched upon, and I myself am gathering data. Some day I shall issue a pamphlet on the "Management and Control of Trustees."
I just read a pamphlet about manual training for girls and another one about the right diet for institutions—like the right amounts of proteins, fats, starches, and so on. Nowadays, with scientific charity, every problem can be organized into charts. I don’t understand how Mrs. Lippett could have made all the mistakes she did, assuming she knew how to read. But there’s one important area of institutional work that hasn’t been addressed, and I’m collecting information on it myself. One day, I plan to publish a pamphlet on "Management and Control of Trustees."
I must tell you the joke about my enemy—not the Hon. Cy, but my first, my original enemy. He has undertaken a new field of endeavor. He says quite soberly (everything he does is sober; he has never smiled yet) that he has been watching me closely since my arrival, and though I am untrained and foolish and flippant (sic), he doesn't think that I am really so superficial as I at first appeared. I have an almost masculine ability of grasping the whole of a question and going straight to the point.
I have to share this joke about my enemy—not the Hon. Cy, but my first and original enemy. He's taken on a new venture. He says quite seriously (everything he does is serious; he’s never smiled) that he's been watching me closely since I got here, and although I’m untrained, foolish, and a bit flippant, he doesn’t actually think I’m as superficial as I seemed at first. I have an almost masculine ability to understand the entirety of an issue and get right to the point.
Aren't men funny? When they want to pay you the greatest compliment in their power, they naively tell you that you have a masculine mind. There is one compliment, incidentally, that I shall never be paying him. I cannot honestly say that he has a quickness of perception almost feminine.
Aren't guys hilarious? When they want to give you the biggest compliment they can, they cluelessly say that you have a masculine mind. By the way, there's one compliment I definitely won't be giving him. I can't honestly say that he has a perceptiveness that's almost feminine.
So, though Sandy quite plainly sees my faults, still, he thinks that some of them may be corrected; and he has determined to carry on my education from the point where the college dropped it. A person in my position ought to be well read in physiology, biology, psychology, sociology, and eugenics; she should know the hereditary effects of insanity, idiocy, and alcohol; should be able to administer the Binet test; and should understand the nervous system of a frog. In pursuance whereof, he has placed at my disposal his own scientific library of four thousand volumes. He not only fetches in the books he wants me to read, but comes and asks questions to make sure I haven't skipped.
So, even though Sandy clearly sees my flaws, he believes that some of them can be fixed; and he has decided to continue my education from where college left off. Someone in my situation should be well-versed in physiology, biology, psychology, sociology, and eugenics; should understand the hereditary effects of mental illness, developmental delays, and alcohol; should be able to administer the Binet test; and should know how the nervous system of a frog works. To help with this, he has made his own scientific library of four thousand books available to me. He not only brings me the books he wants me to read, but also comes by to ask questions to make sure I haven't just skimmed through them.
We devoted last week to the life and letters of the Jukes family. Margaret, the mother of criminals, six generations ago, founded a prolific line, and her progeny, mostly in jail, now numbers some twelve hundred. Moral: watch the children with a bad heredity so carefully that none of them can ever have any excuse for growing up into Jukeses.
We spent last week looking into the life and writings of the Jukes family. Margaret, the mother of criminals, started this large lineage six generations ago, and now her descendants, most of whom are in prison, number about twelve hundred. Moral: keep a close eye on kids with a bad family history so that none of them have an excuse to become Jukeses.
So now, as soon as we have finished our tea, Sandy and I get out the Doomsday Book, and pore over its pages in an anxious search for alcoholic parents. It's a cheerful little game to while away the twilight hour after the day's work is done.
So now, as soon as we finish our tea, Sandy and I pull out the Doomsday Book and look through its pages, anxiously searching for parents with drinking problems. It’s a fun little game to pass the time during the evening after we've wrapped up for the day.
QUELLE VIE! Come home fast and take me out of it. I'm wearying for the sight of you.
QUELLE VIE! Come home quickly and get me out of here. I’m so tired of waiting to see you.
SALLIE. J. G. H.,
Sallie J. G. H.,
Thursday morning. My dear Pendleton Family:
Thursday morning. My dear Pendleton Family:
I have received your letter, and I seize my pen to stop you. I don't wish to be relieved. I take it back. I change my mind. The person you are planning to send sounds like an exact twin of Miss Snaith. How can you ask me to turn over my darling children to a kind, but ineffectual, middle-aged lady without any chin? The very thought of it wrings a mother's heart.
I got your letter, and I’m grabbing my pen to stop you. I don’t want to be let off the hook. I take it back. I’ve changed my mind. The person you’re thinking of sending sounds just like Miss Snaith. How can you ask me to hand over my beloved kids to a nice, but ineffective, middle-aged lady without any chin? Just thinking about it breaks a mother’s heart.
Do you imagine that such a woman can carry on this work even temporarily? No! The manager of an institution like this has got to be young and husky and energetic and forceful and efficient and red-haired and sweet-tempered, like me. Of course I've been discontented,—anybody would be with things in such a mess,—but it's what you socialists call a holy discontent. And do you think that I am going to abandon all of the beautiful reforms I have so painstakingly started? No! I am not to be moved from this spot until you find a superintendent superior to Sallie McBride.
Do you really think a woman like that can handle this job, even for a short time? No! The manager of a place like this needs to be young, strong, energetic, assertive, efficient, and have red hair and a good attitude, just like me. Sure, I've been unhappy—who wouldn't be with things so chaotic—but what you socialists call a holy discontent. And do you think I'm just going to give up all the great changes I've worked so hard to implement? No! I'm not going anywhere until you find a superintendent better than Sallie McBride.
That does not mean, though, that I am mortgaging myself forever. Just for the present, until things get on their feet. While the face washing, airing, reconstructing period lasts, I honestly believe you chose the right person when you hit upon me. I LOVE to plan improvements and order people about.
That doesn’t mean, though, that I’m tying myself down forever. Just for now, until things settle down. During this face-washing, airing out, and rebuilding phase, I truly believe you picked the right person when you chose me. I LOVE to plan improvements and direct others.
This is an awfully messy letter, but I'm dashing it off in three minutes in order to catch you before you definitely engage that pleasant, inefficient middle-aged person without a chin.
This is a really messy letter, but I'm writing it in three minutes to catch you before you definitely get involved with that nice, but not very effective, middle-aged guy without a chin.
Please, kind lady and gentleman, don't do me out of me job! Let me stay a few months longer. Just gimme a chance to show what I'm good for, and I promise you won't never regret it.
Please, kind lady and gentleman, don't take my job away from me! Let me stay a few more months. Just give me a chance to show what I'm capable of, and I promise you won't regret it.
S. McB.
S. McB.
J. G. H.,
J. G. H.
Thursday afternoon.
Thursday afternoon.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
I've composed a poem—a paean of victory.
I've written a poem—a song of victory.
Robin MacRae Smiled today.
Robin MacRae smiled today.
It's the truth! S. McB.
It's the truth! S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
April 13.
April 13th.
Dear Judy:
Dear Judy:
I am gratified to learn that you were gratified to learn that I am going to stay. I hadn't realized it, but I am really getting sort of attached to orphans.
I’m happy to hear that you were happy to find out that I’m going to stay. I didn’t realize it, but I’m actually starting to get kind of attached to the orphans.
It's an awful disappointment that Jervis has business which will keep you South so much longer. I am bursting with talk, and it is such a laborious nuisance having to write everything I want to say.
It's really disappointing that Jervis has work that will keep you down South for so much longer. I have so much to say, and it's such a hassle to write everything down.
Of course I am glad that we are to have the building remodeled, and I think all of your ideas good, but I have a few extra good ones myself. It will be nice to have the new gymnasium and sleeping-porches, but, oh, my soul does long for cottages! The more I look into the internal workings of an orphan asylum, the more I realize that the only type of asylum that can compete with a private family is one on the cottage system. So long as the family is the unit of society, children should be hardened early to family life.
Of course, I'm really happy that we're going to remodel the building, and I think all your ideas are great, but I have a few good ones of my own. It'll be nice to have the new gym and sleeping porches, but oh, how I wish we had cottages! The more I look into how an orphanage operates, the more I see that the only type that can compete with a family environment is one that has a cottage system. As long as family is the foundation of society, kids should be prepared early for family life.
The problem that is keeping me awake at present is, What to do with the children while we are being made over? It is hard to live in a house and build it at the same time. How would it be if I rented a circus tent and pitched it on the lawn?
The issue that's keeping me up right now is figuring out what to do with the kids while we're renovating. It's tough to live in a house while also trying to fix it up. What if I rented a circus tent and set it up on the lawn?
Also, when we plunge into our alterations, I want a few guest rooms where our children can come back when ill or out of work. The great secret of our lasting influence in their lives will be our watchful care afterward. What a terrible ALONE feeling it must give a person not to have a family hovering in the background! With all my dozens of aunts and uncles and mothers and fathers and cousins and brothers and sisters, I can't visualize it. I'd be terrified and panting if I didn't have lots of cover to run to. And for these forlorn little mites, somehow or other the John Grier Home must supply their need. So, dear people, send me half a dozen guest rooms, if you please.
Also, when we make our changes, I want a few guest rooms where our kids can come back when they’re sick or out of work. The key to our lasting impact in their lives will be our attentive care afterward. What a terrible feeling it must be for someone to be completely alone without family nearby! With all my dozens of aunts, uncles, parents, cousins, and siblings, I can’t imagine it. I'd be scared and gasping if I didn’t have plenty of support to turn to. And for these lonely little ones, somehow the John Grier Home needs to meet their needs. So, dear people, please send me half a dozen guest rooms.
Good-by, and I'm glad you didn't put in the other woman. The very suggestion of somebody else taking over my own beautiful reforms before they were even started, stirred up all the opposition in me. I'm afraid I'm like Sandy—I canna think aught is dune richt except my ain hand is in 't.
Goodbye, and I'm glad you didn’t include the other woman. Just the thought of someone else taking over my beautiful reforms before they even began made me really upset. I’m afraid I’m like Sandy—I can’t think anything is done right unless it’s done by me.
Yours, for the present,
Yours for now,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Sunday.
Sunday.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
I know that I haven't written lately; you have a perfect right to grumble, but oh dear! oh dear! you can't imagine what a busy person an orphan asylum superintendent is. And all the writing energy I possess has to be expended upon that voracious Judy Abbott Pendleton. If three days go by without a letter she telegraphs to know if the asylum has burned; whereas, if you—nice man—go letterless, you simply send us a present to remind us of your existence. So, you see, it's distinctly to our advantage to slight you often.
I know I haven't written in a while; you have every right to complain, but oh dear! You can't imagine how busy an orphanage superintendent is. All the energy I have for writing goes to that demanding Judy Abbott Pendleton. If three days pass without a letter, she sends a telegram to ask if the orphanage has burned down; while you—nice guy—go without a letter and just send us a gift to remind us you're still around. So, you see, it's definitely in our favor to overlook you sometimes.
You will probably be annoyed when I tell you that I have promised to stay on here. They finally did find a woman to take my place, but she wasn't at all the right type and would have answered only temporarily. And, my dear Gordon, it's true, when I faced saying good-by to this feverish planning and activity, Worcester somehow looked rather colorless. I couldn't bear to let my asylum go unless I was sure of substituting a life packed equally full of sensation.
You’re probably going to be annoyed when I tell you that I’ve promised to stick around here. They finally found a woman to take my place, but she really wasn’t the right fit and would have just been a temporary solution. And, my dear Gordon, it’s true, when I thought about saying goodbye to all this intense planning and activity, Worcester somehow seemed pretty dull. I couldn’t bring myself to leave my safe haven unless I was sure I was replacing it with a life just as full of excitement.
I know the alternative you will suggest, but please don't—just now. I told you before that I must have a few months longer to make up my mind. And in the meantime I like the feeling that I'm of use in the world. There's something constructive and optimistic about working with children; that is, if you look at it from my cheerful point of view, and not from our Scotch doctor's. I've never seen anybody like that man; he's always pessimistic and morbid and down. It's best not to be too intelligent about insanity and dipsomania and all the other hereditary details. I am just about ignorant enough to be light-hearted and effective in a place like this.
I know what you're going to suggest, but please don’t—at least not right now. I’ve told you before that I need a few more months to figure things out. In the meantime, I really enjoy feeling like I’m making a difference in the world. There’s something positive and hopeful about working with kids; that is, if you see it from my optimistic perspective, instead of our Scottish doctor’s. I’ve never met anyone like him; he’s always so pessimistic and gloomy. It’s better not to overthink things like insanity and alcoholism and all those other hereditary issues. I’m just naive enough to be cheerful and effective in a place like this.
The thought of all of these little lives expanding in every direction eternally thrills me. There are so many possibilities in our child garden for every kind of flower. It has been planted rather promiscuously, to be sure, but though we undoubtedly shall gather a number of weeds, we are also hoping for some rare and beautiful blossoms. Am I not growing sentimental? It is due to hunger—and there goes the dinner-gong! We are going to have a delicious meal: roast beef and creamed carrots and beet greens, with rhubarb pie for dessert. Would you not like to dine with me? I should love to have you.
The idea of all these little lives thriving in different directions always excites me. Our garden of children holds so many possibilities for every type of flower. It’s been planted quite freely, that's for sure, but while we’ll probably end up with a few weeds, we’re also hoping for some rare and beautiful blooms. Am I getting sentimental? It’s probably because I’m hungry—and there’s the dinner bell! We’re going to have a great meal: roast beef, creamed carrots, and beet greens, with rhubarb pie for dessert. Would you like to join me for dinner? I’d love to have you.
Most cordially yours,
Best regards,
S. McB.
S. McB.
P.S. You should see the number of poor homeless cats that these children want to adopt. We had four when I came, and they have all had kittens since. I haven't taken an exact census, but I think the institution possesses nineteen.
P.S. You should see how many poor homeless cats these kids want to adopt. We had four when I arrived, and they've all had kittens since then. I haven’t done a precise count, but I think the shelter has nineteen now.
April 15. My dear Judy:
April 15. Dear Judy:
You'd like to make another slight donation to the J. G. H. out of the excess of last month's allowance? BENE! Will you kindly have the following inserted in all low-class metropolitan dailies:
You want to make another small donation to the J. G. H. from last month's leftover allowance? GREAT! Can you please have the following published in all the lower-tier city newspapers:
Notice!
To Parents Planning to Abandon their Children:
Please do it before they have reached their third year.
Notice!
To Parents Planning to Abandon their Children:
Please do it before they turn three.
I can't think of any action on the part of abandoning parents that would help us more effectually. This having to root up evil before you begin planting good is slow, discouraging work.
I can't think of any action by abandoning parents that would help us more effectively. Having to pull out the bad before you start planting the good is slow, discouraging work.
We have one child here who has almost floored me; but I WILL NOT acknowledge myself beaten by a child of five. He alternates between sullen moroseness, when he won't speak a word, and the most violent outbursts of temper, when he smashes everything within reach. He has been here only three months, and in that time he has destroyed nearly every piece of bric-a-brac in the institution—not, by the way, a great loss to art.
We have one kid here who has almost knocked me off my feet; but I WILL NOT admit defeat to a five-year-old. He switches from being really sulky and not talking at all to having the most intense fits of anger, where he breaks everything nearby. He’s only been here for three months, and during that time, he has destroyed almost every decorative item in the place—not that it’s a huge loss to art.
A month or so before I came he pulled the tablecloth from the officers' table while the girl in charge was in the corridor sounding the gong. The soup had already been served. You can imagine the mess! Mrs. Lippett half killed the child on that occasion, but the killing did nothing to lessen the temper, which was handed on to me intact.
About a month before I arrived, he yanked the tablecloth off the officers' table while the girl in charge was out in the hallway ringing the bell. They had already served the soup. You can imagine the chaos! Mrs. Lippett nearly lost it with the kid that time, but her anger didn't fade; it was passed down to me just as intense.
His father was Italian and his mother Irish; he has red hair and freckles from County Cork and the most beautiful brown eyes that ever came out of Naples. After the father was stabbed in a fight and the mother had died of alcoholism, the poor little chap by some chance or other got to us. I suspect that he belongs in the Catholic Protectory. As for his manners—oh dear! oh dear! They are what you would expect. He kicks and bites and swears. I have dubbed him Punch.
His dad was Italian and his mom was Irish; he has red hair and freckles from County Cork and the most beautiful brown eyes that came from Naples. After his dad was stabbed in a fight and his mom died from alcoholism, the poor little guy somehow ended up with us. I think he probably belongs in the Catholic Protectory. As for his behavior—oh my goodness! They're exactly what you'd expect. He kicks, bites, and swears. I've named him Punch.
Yesterday he was brought squirming and howling to my office, charged with having knocked down a little girl and robbed her of her doll. Miss Snaith plumped him into a chair behind me, and left him to grow quiet, while I went on with my writing. I was suddenly startled by an awful crash. He had pushed that big green jardiniere off the window-sill and broken it into five hundred pieces. I jumped with a suddenness that swept the ink-bottle to the floor, and when Punch saw that second catastrophe, he stopped roaring with rage and threw back his head and roared with laughter. The child is DIABOLICAL.
Yesterday, he was dragged into my office, squirming and screaming, accused of knocking down a little girl and stealing her doll. Miss Snaith put him in a chair behind me and left him to calm down while I continued to write. Suddenly, I was jolted by a huge crash. He had knocked that big green planter off the window sill and shattered it into a million pieces. I jumped, causing the ink bottle to fall to the floor, and when Punch saw that second disaster, he stopped roaring in anger and threw back his head, laughing. The kid is DIABOLICAL.
I have determined to try a new method of discipline that I don't believe in the whole of his forlorn little life he has ever experienced. I am going to see what praise and encouragement and love will do. So, instead of scolding him about the jardiniere, I assumed that it was an accident. I kissed him and told him not to feel bad; that I didn't mind in the least. It shocked him into being quiet; he simply held his breath and stared while I wiped away his tears and sopped up the ink.
I’ve decided to try a new way of disciplining him that I don’t think he’s ever experienced in his entire sad little life. I want to see what praise, encouragement, and love can achieve. So, instead of scolding him for the jardiniere, I treated it like an accident. I hugged him and told him not to feel bad; that I didn’t mind at all. It stunned him into silence; he just held his breath and stared as I wiped away his tears and soaked up the ink.
The child just now is the biggest problem that the J. G. H. affords. He needs the most patient, loving, individual care—a proper mother and father, likewise some brothers and sisters and a grandmother. But I can't place him in a respectable family until I make over his language and his propensity to break things. I separated him from the other children, and kept him in my room all the morning, Jane having removed to safe heights all destructible OBJETS D'ART. Fortunately, he loves to draw, and he sat on a rug for two hours, and occupied himself with colored pencils. He was so surprised when I showed an interest in a red-and-green ferryboat, with a yellow flag floating from the mast, that he became quite profanely affable. Until then I couldn't get a word out of him.
The child right now is the biggest issue that the J. G. H. has. He needs the most patient, loving, individual care—a proper mom and dad, as well as some siblings and a grandmother. But I can't place him in a decent family until I improve his language and his tendency to break things. I separated him from the other kids and kept him in my room all morning, with Jane moving all breakable objects out of reach. Fortunately, he loves to draw, and he sat on a rug for two hours, keeping himself busy with colored pencils. He was so surprised when I showed interest in a red-and-green ferryboat with a yellow flag waving from the mast that he became quite surprisingly friendly. Until then, I couldn't get a word out of him.
In the afternoon Dr. MacRae dropped in and admired the ferryboat, while Punch swelled with the pride of creation. Then, as a reward for being such a good little boy, the doctor took him out in his automobile on a visit to a country patient.
In the afternoon, Dr. MacRae stopped by and admired the ferryboat while Punch beamed with pride at his creation. Then, as a reward for being such a good little boy, the doctor took him for a ride in his car to visit a patient in the countryside.
Punch was restored to the fold at five o'clock by a sadder and wiser doctor. At a sedate country estate he had stoned the chickens, smashed a cold frame, and swung the pet Angora cat by its tail. Then when the sweet old lady tried to make him be kind to poor pussy, he told her to go to hell.
Punch was brought back at five o'clock by a now more experienced and regretful doctor. At a quiet country estate, he had thrown stones at the chickens, broke a cold frame, and swung the pet Angora cat by its tail. Then, when the kind old lady tried to make him be nice to the poor cat, he told her to go to hell.
I can't bear to consider what some of these children have seen and experienced. It will take years of sunshine and happiness and love to eradicate the dreadful memories that they have stored up in the far-back corners of their little brains. And there are so many children and so few of us that we can't hug them enough; we simply haven't arms or laps to go around.
I can't stand to think about what some of these kids have seen and gone through. It'll take years of joy, love, and good times to wipe away the terrible memories they've tucked away in the deep corners of their minds. There are so many kids and so few of us, so we can't hug them enough; we just don't have enough arms or laps to go around.
MAIS PARLONS D'AUTRES CHOSES! Those awful questions of heredity and environment that the doctor broods over so constantly are getting into my blood, too; and it's a vicious habit. If a person is to be of any use in a place like this, she must see nothing but good in the world. Optimism is the only wear for a social worker.
MAIS PARLONS D'AUTRES CHOSES! Those awful questions of heredity and environment that the doctor constantly worries about are starting to affect me too; and it's a bad habit. If someone is going to be any help in a place like this, she has to see nothing but the good in the world. Optimism is the only way for a social worker.
"'Tis the middle of night by the castle clock"—do you know where that beautiful line of poetry comes from? "Cristabel," of English K. Mercy! how I hated that course! You, being an English shark, liked it; but I never understood a word that was said from the time I entered the classroom till I left it. However, the remark with which I opened this paragraph is true. It IS the middle of night by the mantelpiece clock, so I'll wish you pleasant dreams. ADDIO!
"'Tis the middle of night by the castle clock"—do you know where that beautiful line of poetry comes from? "Cristabel," by English K. Mercy! how I hated that course! You, being an English nerd, liked it; but I never understood a word that was said from the time I entered the classroom until I left it. However, the statement I opened this paragraph with is true. It IS the middle of night by the mantelpiece clock, so I'll wish you pleasant dreams. ADDIO!
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Tuesday.
Tuesday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
You doctored the whole house, then stalked past my library with your nose in the air, while I was waiting tea with a plate of Scotch scones sitting on the trivet, ordered expressly for you as a peace-offering.
You fixed up the whole house, then walked by my library with your nose in the air while I was waiting for tea with a plate of Scotch scones on the trivet, specially ordered for you as a peace offering.
If you are really hurt, I will read the Kallikak book; but I must tell you that you are working me to death. It takes almost all of my energy to be an effective superintendent, and this university extension course that you are conducting I find wearing. You remember how indignant you were one day last week because I confessed to having stayed up until one o'clock the night before? Well, my dear man, if I were to accomplish all the vicarious reading you require, I should sit up until morning every night.
If you're really upset, I'll read the Kallikak book; but I have to tell you that you're exhausting me. It takes nearly all my energy to be an effective superintendent, and this university extension course you're running is really draining. Remember how angry you were last week when I admitted to staying up until one in the morning? Well, my friend, if I were to do all the reading you expect of me, I’d have to stay up all night every night.
However, bring it in. I usually manage half an hour of recreation after dinner, and though I had wanted to glance at Wells's latest novel, I will amuse myself instead with your feeble-minded family.
However, bring it in. I usually get about half an hour of downtime after dinner, and although I wanted to check out Wells's latest novel, I'll entertain myself instead with your simple-minded family.
Life of late is unco steep. Obligingly yours,
Life lately is really tough. Sincerely yours,
S. McB.
S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
April 17.
April 17th.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
Thank you for the tulips, likewise the lilies of the valley. They are most becoming to my blue Persian bowls.
Thank you for the tulips and the lilies of the valley. They look great in my blue Persian bowls.
Have you ever heard of the Kallikaks? Get the book and read them up. They are a two-branch family in New Jersey, I think, though their real name and origin is artfully concealed. But, anyway,—and this is true,—six generations ago a young gentleman, called for convenience Martin Kallikak, got drunk one night and temporarily eloped with a feeble-minded barmaid, thus founding a long line of feeble-minded Kallikaks,—drunkards, gamblers, prostitutes, horse thieves,—a scourge to New Jersey and surrounding States.
Have you ever heard of the Kallikaks? Grab the book and check it out. They’re a two-branch family from New Jersey, I think, although their real name and origins are cleverly hidden. But, anyway—and this is true—six generations ago, a young guy, conveniently called Martin Kallikak, got drunk one night and briefly ran off with a mentally challenged barmaid, starting a long line of mentally challenged Kallikaks—drunkards, gamblers, prostitutes, horse thieves—a real problem for New Jersey and nearby states.
Martin later straightened up, married a normal woman, and founded a second line of proper Kallikaks,—judges, doctors, farmers, professors, politicians,—a credit to their country. And there the two branches still are, flourishing side by side. You can see what a blessing it would have been to New Jersey if something drastic had happened to that feeble-minded barmaid in her infancy.
Martin later stood tall, married a regular woman, and started a second line of successful Kallikaks—judges, doctors, farmers, professors, politicians—a credit to their country. And there the two branches still are, thriving side by side. You can see what a blessing it would have been for New Jersey if something drastic had happened to that mentally challenged barmaid when she was a child.
It seems that feeblemindedness is a very hereditary quality, and science isn't able to overcome it. No operation has been discovered for introducing brains into the head of a child who didn't start with them. And the child grows up with, say, a nine-year brain in a thirty-year body, and becomes an easy tool for any criminal he meets. Our prisons are one-third full of feeble-minded convicts. Society ought to segregate them on feeble-minded farms, where they can earn their livings in peaceful menial pursuits, and not have children. Then in a generation or so we might be able to wipe them out.
It looks like feeblemindedness is a highly hereditary trait, and science can't really do anything about it. No procedure has been found to give a child a brain if they didn't already have one. As a result, the child grows up with, for example, a nine-year-old's intellect in a thirty-year-old's body and becomes an easy target for any criminal they encounter. Our prisons are one-third filled with feeble-minded inmates. Society should separate them onto feeble-minded farms, where they can work in low-skilled jobs and not have children. Then, in about a generation, we might be able to eliminate this issue.
Did you know all that? It's very necessary information for a politician to have. Get the book and read it, please; I'd send my copy only that it's borrowed.
Did you know all that? It’s really important information for a politician to have. Please get the book and read it; I would lend you my copy, but it’s currently borrowed.
It's also very necessary information for me to have. There are eleven of these chicks that I suspect a bit, and I am SURE of Loretta Higgins. I have been trying for a month to introduce one or two basic ideas into that child's brain, and now I know what the trouble is: her head is filled with a sort of soft cheesy substance instead of brain.
It's also really important for me to know this. There are eleven of these kids I'm a bit suspicious of, and I'm definitely sure about Loretta Higgins. I've been trying for a month to get one or two simple ideas into that child's head, and now I realize what the problem is: her head is full of some kind of soft goo instead of a brain.
I came up here to make over this asylum in such little details as fresh air and food and clothes and sunshine, but, heavens! you can see what problems I am facing. I've got to make over society first, so that it won't send me sub-normal children to work with. Excuse all this excited conversation; but I've just met up with the subject of feeble-mindedness, and it's appalling—and interesting. It is your business as a legislator to make laws that will remove it from the world. Please attend to this immediately, And oblige,
I came up here to improve this asylum with simple things like fresh air, food, clothes, and sunshine, but, wow! you can see what problems I'm dealing with. I have to change society first so it won't send me children who are below average to work with. Sorry for my excited talk; I've just come across the issue of feeble-mindedness, and it's both shocking and intriguing. It's your job as a legislator to create laws that will eliminate it from the world. Please address this right away, and help out,
S. McBRIDE,
S. McBRIDE,
Sup't John Grier Home.
Superintendent John Grier Home.
Friday.
Friday.
Dear Man of Science:
Dear Scientist:
You didn't come today. Please don't skip us tomorrow. I have finished the Kallikak family and I am bursting with talk. Don't you think we ought to have a psychologist examine these children?
You didn't come today. Please don't skip us tomorrow. I finished the Kallikak family, and I'm full of things to talk about. Don't you think we should have a psychologist look at these kids?
We owe it to adopting parents not to saddle them with feeble-minded offspring.
We owe it to adoptive parents not to burden them with children who have limited mental abilities.
You know, I'm tempted to ask you to prescribe arsenic for Loretta's cold. I've diagnosed her case; she's a Kallikak. Is it right to let her grow up and found a line of 378 feeble-minded people for society to care for? Oh dear! I do hate to poison the child, but what can I do?
You know, I'm really considering asking you to prescribe arsenic for Loretta's cold. I've figured out her situation; she's a Kallikak. Is it fair to let her grow up and end up creating a line of 378 mentally challenged people for society to support? Oh dear! I really hate the idea of hurting the child, but what can I do?
S. McB.
S. McB.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
You aren't interested in feeble-minded people, and you are shocked because I am? Well, I am equally shocked because you are not. If you aren't interested in everything of the sort that there unfortunately is in this world, how can you make wise laws?
You’re not into simple-minded people, and you’re surprised that I am? Well, I’m just as surprised that you’re not. If you’re not interested in all the stuff that’s unfortunately out there in the world, how can you create wise laws?
You can't.
You can't.
However, at your request, I will converse upon a less morbid subject. I've just bought fifty yards of blue and rose and green and corn-colored hair-ribbon as an Easter present for my fifty little daughters. I am also thinking of sending you an Easter present. How would a nice fluffy little kitten please you? I can offer any of the following patterns:—
However, at your request, I will talk about a lighter topic. I've just bought fifty yards of blue, pink, green, and yellow hair ribbon as an Easter gift for my fifty little daughters. I'm also considering sending you an Easter gift. How would a cute, fluffy little kitten make you feel? I can offer any of the following patterns:—
Number 3 comes in any color, gray, black, or yellow. If you will let me know which you would rather have, I will express it at once.
Number 3 comes in any color: gray, black, or yellow. If you let me know which one you prefer, I will send it right away.
I would write a respectable letter, but it's teatime, and I see that a guest approaches.
I’d write a proper letter, but it’s teatime, and I can see a guest coming.
ADDIO! SALLIE.
Goodbye! Sallie.
P.S. Don't you know some one who would like to adopt a desirable baby boy with seventeen nice new teeth?
P.S. Don't you know someone who would want to adopt a great baby boy with seventeen nice new teeth?
April 20. My dear Judy:
April 20. Dear Judy:
One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns! We've had a Good Friday present of ten dozen, given by Mrs. De Peyster Lambert, a high church, stained-glass-window soul whom I met at a tea a few days ago. (Who says now that teas are a silly waste of time?) She asked me about my "precious little waifs," and said I was doing a noble work and would be rewarded. I saw buns in her eye, and sat down and talked to her for half an hour.
One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns! We got a Good Friday gift of ten dozen from Mrs. De Peyster Lambert, a high church lady with a love for stained glass whom I met at a tea a few days ago. (Who says teas are a silly waste of time now?) She asked me about my "precious little waifs" and said I was doing a noble job and would be rewarded. I saw buns in her eye and sat down to chat with her for half an hour.
Now I shall go and thank her in person, and tell her with a great deal of affecting detail how much those buns were appreciated by my precious little waifs—omitting the account of how precious little Punch threw his bun at Miss Snaith and plastered her neatly in the eye. I think, with encouragement, Mrs. De Peyster Lambert can be developed into a cheerful giver.
Now I'm going to thank her in person and share with her all the heartfelt details about how much those buns meant to my dear little kids—leaving out the part where little Punch threw his bun at Miss Snaith and hit her right in the eye. I believe that with some encouragement, Mrs. De Peyster Lambert can become a generous giver.
Oh, I'm growing into the most shocking beggar! My family don't dare to visit me, because I demand BAKSHISH in such a brazen manner. I threatened to remove father from my calling list unless he shipped immediately sixty-five pairs of overalls for my prospective gardeners. A notice from the freight office this morning asks me to remove two packing cases consigned to them by the J. L. McBride Co. of Worcester; so I take it that father desires to continue my acquaintance. Jimmie hasn't sent us anything yet, and he's getting a huge salary. I write him frequently a pathetic list of our needs.
Oh, I'm becoming the most outrageous beggar! My family doesn't dare visit me because I demand tips in such a bold way. I threatened to take my dad off my contact list unless he immediately sent sixty-five pairs of overalls for my future gardeners. A notice from the freight office this morning asks me to pick up two packing cases sent to them by the J. L. McBride Co. of Worcester, so I guess my dad wants to keep in touch. Jimmie hasn't sent us anything yet, and he's making a huge salary. I regularly write him a sad list of what we need.
But Gordon Hallock has learned the way to a mother's heart. I was so pleasant about the peanuts and menagerie that now he sends a present of some sort every few days, and I spend my entire time composing thank-you letters that aren't exact copies of the ones I've sent before. Last week we received a dozen big scarlet balls. The nursery is FULL of them; you kick them before you as you walk. And yesterday there arrived a half-bushel of frogs and ducks and fishes to float in the bathtubs.
But Gordon Hallock has figured out how to win a mother's heart. I was so nice about the peanuts and little animals that he now sends some kind of gift every few days, and I spend all my time writing thank-you notes that aren't just repeats of the ones I've sent before. Last week, we got a dozen big red balls. The nursery is FULL of them; you kick them as you walk. And yesterday, a half-bushel of frogs, ducks, and fish arrived to float in the bathtubs.
Send, O best of trustees, the tubs in which to float them!
Send, oh best of trustees, the tubs to float them!
I am, as usual,
I am, as always,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
Tuesday. My dear Judy:
Tuesday. My dear Judy:
Spring must be lurking about somewhere; the birds are arriving from the South. Isn't it time you followed their example?
Spring must be around the corner; the birds are coming back from the South. Isn't it time you did the same?
Society note from the BIRD O' PASSAGE NEWS:
Society note from the BIRD O' PASSAGE NEWS:
"Mr. and Mrs. First Robin have returned from a trip to Florida. It is hoped that Mr. and Mrs. Jervis Pendleton will arrive shortly."
"Mr. and Mrs. First Robin have come back from their trip to Florida. It’s hoped that Mr. and Mrs. Jervis Pendleton will be arriving soon."
Even up here in our dilatory Dutchess County the breeze smells green. It makes you want to be out and away, roaming the hills, or else down on your knees grubbing in the dirt. Isn't it funny what farmering instincts the budding spring awakens in even the most urban souls?
Even up here in our laid-back Dutchess County, the breeze smells fresh. It makes you want to be outside, exploring the hills, or on your knees digging in the dirt. Isn’t it funny what farming instincts the budding spring brings out in even the most urban people?
I have spent the morning making plans for little private gardens for every child over nine. The big potato field is doomed. That is the only feasible spot for sixty-two private gardens. It is near enough to be watched from the north windows, and yet far enough away, so that their messing will not injure our highly prized landscape lawn. Also the earth is rich, and they have some chance of success. I don't want the poor little chicks to scratch all summer, and then not turn up any treasure in the end. In order to furnish an incentive, I shall announce that the institution will buy their produce and pay in real money, though I foresee we shall be buried under a mountain of radishes.
I spent the morning planning out small private gardens for every child over nine. The large potato field is a lost cause. It’s the only practical place for sixty-two private gardens. It's close enough to be seen from the north windows, yet far enough away that their digging won't damage our treasured lawn. Plus, the soil is rich, giving them a decent chance to succeed. I don’t want the poor kids to dig all summer and not find any rewards in the end. To motivate them, I’ll announce that the institution will buy their harvest and pay in actual money, even though I can already see us drowning in a sea of radishes.
I do so want to develop self-reliance and initiative in these children, two sturdy qualities in which they are conspicuously lacking (with the exception of Sadie Kate and a few other bad ones). Children who have spirit enough to be bad I consider very hopeful. It's those who are good just from inertia that are discouraging.
I really want to foster self-reliance and initiative in these kids, two strong qualities they really lack (except for Sadie Kate and a few others who are troublemakers). I find kids who have the spirit to be bad are actually quite promising. It's the ones who are good just out of laziness that are disheartening.
The last few days have been spent mainly in charming the devil out of Punch, an interesting task if I could devote my whole time to it. But with one hundred and seven other little devils to charm away, my attention is sorely deflected.
The last few days have mostly been spent trying to win over Punch, which is an interesting job if I could focus entirely on it. But with one hundred and seven other little issues to deal with, my attention is really scattered.
The awful thing about this life is that whatever I am doing, the other things that I am not doing, but ought to be, keep tugging at my skirts. There is no doubt but Punch's personal devil needs the whole attention of a whole person,—preferably two persons,—so that they could spell each other and get some rest.
The terrible thing about life is that no matter what I'm doing, the things I should be doing but aren't keep pulling at me. There's no doubt that Punch's personal devil demands the full attention of an entire person—preferably two people—so they can take turns and get some rest.
Sadie Kate has just flown in from the nursery with news of a scarlet goldfish (Gordon's gift) swallowed by one of our babies. Mercy! the number of calamities that can occur in an orphan asylum!
Sadie Kate has just arrived from the nursery with news that one of our babies swallowed a scarlet goldfish (Gordon's gift). Wow! The number of disasters that can happen in an orphanage!
9 P.M.
9 PM
My children are in bed, and I've just had a thought. Wouldn't it be heavenly if the hibernating system prevailed among the human young? There would be some pleasure in running an asylum if one could just tuck the little darlings into bed the first of October and keep them there until the twenty-second of April.
My kids are in bed, and I just had a thought. Wouldn’t it be amazing if kids could hibernate like some animals do? It would be a lot easier to manage a daycare if you could just put the little ones to bed on October 1st and keep them there until April 22nd.
I'm yours, as ever,
I'm yours, always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
April 24.
April 24th.
Dear Jervis Pendleton, Esq.:
Dear Jervis Pendleton, Esq.:
This is to supplement a night telegram which I sent you ten minutes ago. Fifty words not being enough to convey any idea of my emotions, I herewith add a thousand.
This is to follow up on the night telegram I sent you ten minutes ago. Fifty words aren't enough to express my feelings, so I'm adding a thousand here.
As you will know by the time you receive this, I have discharged the farmer, and he has refused to be discharged. Being twice the size of me, I can't lug him to the gate and chuck him out. He wants a notification from the president of the board of trustees written in vigorous language on official paper in typewriting. So, dear president of the board of trustees, kindly supply all of this at your earliest convenience.
As you will know by the time you get this, I’ve let the farmer go, but he doesn't want to leave. Since he’s twice my size, I can’t just drag him to the gate and throw him out. He’s asking for a notification from the president of the board of trustees, written in strong language on official letterhead in typewritten form. So, dear president of the board of trustees, please provide all of this as soon as you can.
Here follows the history of the case:
Here’s the history of the case:
The winter season still being with us when I arrived and farming activities at a low ebb, I have heretofore paid little attention to Robert Sterry except to note on two occasions that his pigpens needed cleaning; but today I sent for him to come and consult with me in regard to spring planting.
The winter season was still here when I arrived, and with farming activities at a low point, I hadn't really paid much attention to Robert Sterry except to notice on two occasions that his pigpens needed cleaning. But today, I called him in to discuss spring planting.
Sterry came, as requested, and seated himself at ease in my office with his hat upon his head. I suggested as tactfully as might be that he remove it, an entirely necessary request, as little orphan boys were in and out on errands, and "hats off in the house" is our first rule in masculine deportment.
Sterry arrived as requested and comfortably sat in my office with his hat on. I politely suggested that he take it off, which was a necessary request since little orphan boys were coming in and out on errands, and "hats off in the house" is our first rule for how men should behave.
Sterry complied with my request, and stiffened himself to be against whatever I might desire.
Sterry agreed to my request and braced himself to oppose anything I might want.
I proceeded to the subject in hand, namely, that the diet of the John Grier Home in the year to come is to consist less exclusively of potatoes. At which our farmer grunted in the manner of the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff, only it was a less ethereal and gentlemanly grunt than a trustee permits himself. I enumerated corn and beans and onions and peas and tomatoes and beets and carrots and turnips as desirable substitutes.
I got to the point, which is that the diet at the John Grier Home for the upcoming year should include fewer potatoes. Our farmer made a grunt similar to the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff, but it was less refined and gentlemanly than what a trustee would allow. I suggested corn, beans, onions, peas, tomatoes, beets, carrots, and turnips as good alternatives.
Sterry observed that if potatoes and cabbages was good enough for him, he guessed they was good enough for charity children.
Sterry noticed that if potatoes and cabbages were good enough for him, he figured they were good enough for the charity kids.
I proceeded imperturbably to say that the two-acre potato field was to be plowed and fertilized, and laid out into sixty individual gardens, the boys assisting in the work.
I calmly stated that the two-acre potato field was going to be plowed and fertilized, and divided into sixty individual gardens, with the boys helping with the work.
At that Sterry exploded. The two-acre field was the most fertile and valuable piece of earth on the whole place. He guessed if I was to break that up into play gardens for the children to mess about in, I'd be hearing about it pretty danged quick from the board of trustees. That field was fitted for potatoes, it had always raised potatoes, and it was going to continue to raise them just as long as he had anything to say about it.
At that, Sterry blew up. The two-acre field was the most fertile and valuable piece of land on the whole property. He figured if I turned that into play areas for the kids to play in, I’d hear about it pretty quickly from the board of trustees. That field was perfect for growing potatoes; it had always produced potatoes, and it was going to keep producing them as long as he had any say in the matter.
"You have nothing whatever to say about it," I amiably replied. "I have decided that the two-acre field is the best plot to use for the children's gardens, and you and the potatoes will have to give way."
"You have nothing at all to say about it," I said cheerfully. "I've decided that the two-acre field is the best spot for the kids' gardens, so you and the potatoes will just have to step aside."
Whereupon he rose in a storm of bucolic wrath, and said he'd be gol darned if he'd have a lot of these danged city brats interfering with his work.
Whereupon he stood up in a furious fit of rural anger and said he’d be darned if he’d let these city kids mess with his work.
I explained—very calmly for a red-haired person with Irish forebears—that this place was run for the exclusive benefit of these children; that the children were not here to be exploited for the benefit of the place, a philosophy which he did not grasp, though my fancy city language had a slightly dampening effect. I added that what I required in a farmer was the ability and patience to instruct the boys in gardening and simple outdoor work; that I wished a man of large sympathies whose example would be an inspiring influence to these children of the city streets.
I calmly explained—especially for someone with red hair and Irish roots—that this place was meant solely for the benefit of these kids; the kids weren't here to be used for the place's advantage, a concept he couldn’t quite understand, even though my fancy city language seemed to have a slight dampening effect. I added that what I needed in a farmer was the ability and patience to teach the boys about gardening and basic outdoor tasks; I wanted a man with a big heart whose example would inspire these children from the city streets.
Sterry, pacing about like a caged woodchuck, launched into a tirade about silly Sunday-school notions, and, by a transition which I did not grasp, passed to a review of the general subject of woman's suffrage. I gathered that he is not in favor of the movement. I let him argue himself quiet, then I handed him a check for his wages, and told him to vacate the tenant house by twelve o'clock next Wednesday.
Sterry, pacing around like a trapped woodchuck, started ranting about ridiculous Sunday-school ideas, and, through a switch I didn’t follow, moved on to discuss the broader topic of women’s suffrage. I gathered that he does not support the movement. I let him talk himself out, then I gave him a check for his pay and told him to leave the rental house by twelve o’clock next Wednesday.
Sterry says he'll be danged if he will. (Excuse so many DANGEDS. It is the creature's only adjective.) He was engaged to work for this institution by the president of the board of trustees, and he will not move from that house until the president of the board of trustees tells him to go. I don't think poor Sterry realizes that since his arrival a new president has come to the throne.
Sterry says he won't do it. (Sorry for all the "won'ts." It's the creature's only adjective.) He was hired to work for this institution by the president of the board of trustees, and he won't leave that house until the president tells him to. I don't think poor Sterry realizes that a new president has taken over since he arrived.
ALORS you have the story. I make no threats, but Sterry or McBride—take your choice, dear sir.
ALRIGHT, so you have the story. I'm not making any threats, but Sterry or McBride—it's your choice, dear sir.
I am also about to write to the head of the Massachusetts Agricultural College, at Amherst, asking him to recommend a good, practical man with a nice, efficient, cheerful wife, who will take the entire care of our modest domain of seventeen acres, and who will be a man with the right personality to place over our boys.
I’m also about to write to the president of the Massachusetts Agricultural College in Amherst, asking him to recommend a good, practical guy with a nice, efficient, cheerful wife, who will take care of our modest 17-acre property and will have the right personality to oversee our boys.
If we get the farming end of this institution into running shape, it ought to furnish not only beans and onions for the table, but education for our hands and brains.
If we can get the farming aspect of this institution up and running, it should provide not just beans and onions for our meals, but also education for our skills and minds.
I remain, sir, Yours most truly, S. McBRIDE, Superintendent of the John Grier Home.
I stay, sir, Yours truly, S. McBRIDE, Superintendent of the John Grier Home.
P.S. I think that Sterry will probably come back some night and throw rocks through the windows. Shall I have them insured?
P.S. I think Sterry will probably come back one night and throw rocks through the windows. Should I get them insured?
My dear Enemy:
My dear Rival:
You disappeared so quickly this afternoon that I had no chance to thank you, but the echoes of that discharge penetrated as far as my library. Also, I have viewed the debris. What on earth did you do to poor Sterry? Watching the purposeful set of your shoulders as you strode toward the carriage house, I was filled with sudden compunction. I did not want the man murdered, merely reasoned with. I am afraid you were a little harsh.
You vanished so fast this afternoon that I didn’t get a chance to thank you, but the sound of that blast reached all the way to my library. I’ve also seen the mess left behind. What on earth did you do to poor Sterry? Seeing the determined look on your shoulders as you walked toward the carriage house made me feel a sudden pang of guilt. I didn’t want the guy killed, just talked to. I’m worried you were a bit too tough on him.
However, your technic seems to have been effective. Report says that he has telephoned for a moving wagon and that Mrs. Sterry is even now on her hands and knees ripping up the parlor carpet.
However, your technique seems to have worked. The report says that he has called for a moving truck and that Mrs. Sterry is currently on her hands and knees tearing up the living room carpet.
For this relief much thanks.
Thanks a lot for this relief.
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
April 26.
April 26th.
Dear Jervis:
Hey Jervis:
Your vigorous telegram was, after all, not needed. Dr. Robin MacRae, who is a grand PAWKY mon when it comes to a fight, accomplished the business with beautiful directness. I was so bubbling with rage that immediately after writing to you I called up the doctor on the telephone, and rehearsed the whole business over again. Now, our Sandy, whatever his failings (and he has them), does have an uncommon supply of common sense. He knows how useful those gardens are going to be, and how worse than useless Sterry was. Also says he, "The superintendent's authority must be upheld." (That, incidentally, is beautiful, coming from him.) But anyway, those were his words. And he hung up the receiver, cranked up his car, and flew up here at lawless speed. He marched straight to Sterry, impelled by a fine Scotch rage, and he discharged the man with such vigor and precision, that the carriage house window was shattered to fragments.
Your energetic telegram wasn't really necessary after all. Dr. Robin MacRae, who is a real tough guy when it comes to a fight, handled everything with excellent clarity. I was so filled with anger that right after writing to you, I called the doctor and went over the whole situation again. Now, our Sandy, despite his flaws (and he definitely has them), possesses an impressive amount of common sense. He understands how valuable those gardens will be and how completely useless Sterry was. He also mentioned, "The superintendent's authority has to be respected." (That, by the way, is impressive coming from him.) But anyway, those were his exact words. Then he hung up the phone, fired up his car, and sped up here recklessly. He marched straight to Sterry, fueled by a strong Scottish anger, and fired the man with such force and precision that the carriage house window shattered into pieces.
Since this morning at eleven, when Sterry's wagonload of furniture rumbled out of the gates, a sweet peace has reigned over the J. G. H. A man from the village is helping us out while we hopefully await the farmer of our dreams.
Since this morning at eleven, when Sterry's truckload of furniture rolled out of the gates, a pleasant calm has taken over the J. G. H. A guy from the village is lending a hand while we eagerly wait for the farmer of our dreams.
I am sorry to have troubled you with our troubles. Tell Judy that she owes me a letter, and won't hear from me until she has paid it. Your ob'd't servant,
I apologize for bothering you with our issues. Let Judy know that she owes me a letter, and she won't hear from me until she sends it. Your obedient servant,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBride.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
In my letter of yesterday to Jervis I forgotted (Punch's word) to convey to you our thanks for three tin bathtubs. The skyblue tub with poppies on the side adds a particularly bright note to the nursery. I do love presents for the babies that are too big to be swallowed.
In my letter yesterday to Jervis, I forgot (Punch's word) to pass on our thanks for three tin bathtubs. The sky-blue tub with poppies on the side adds a particularly cheerful touch to the nursery. I really appreciate gifts for the babies that are too big to swallow.
You will be pleased to hear that our manual training is well under way. The carpenter benches are being installed in the old primary room, and until our schoolhouse gets its new addition, our primary class is meeting on the front porch, in accordance with Miss Matthew's able suggestion.
You’ll be happy to know that our hands-on training is going smoothly. The carpenter benches are being set up in the old primary room, and until our schoolhouse gets its new addition, our primary class is meeting on the front porch, following Miss Matthew's smart suggestion.
The girls' sewing classes are also in progress. A circle of benches under the copper beech tree accommodates the hand sewers, while the big girls take turns at our three machines. Just as soon as they gain some proficiency we will begin the glorious work of redressing the institution. I know you think I'm slow, but it's really a task to accomplish one hundred and eighty new frocks. And the girls will appreciate them so much more if they do the work themselves.
The girls' sewing classes are happening now. A circle of benches under the copper beech tree is where the hand sewers sit, while the older girls take turns using our three sewing machines. As soon as they get the hang of it, we'll start the exciting project of making new outfits for everyone. I know you think I'm taking my time, but it's a big job to create one hundred and eighty new dresses. And the girls will value them much more if they make them themselves.
I may also report that our hygiene system has risen to a high level. Dr. MacRae has introduced morning and evening exercises, and a glass of milk and a game of tag in the middle of school hours. He has instituted a physiology class, and has separated the children into small groups, so that they may come to his house, where he has a manikin that comes apart and shows all its messy insides. They can now rattle off scientific truths about their little digestions as fluently as Mother Goose rhymes. We are really becoming too intelligent for recognition. You would never guess that we were orphans to hear us talk; we are quite like Boston children.
I can also share that our hygiene system has improved significantly. Dr. MacRae has introduced morning and evening exercises, along with a glass of milk and a game of tag during school hours. He’s started a physiology class and has divided the kids into small groups so they can visit his house, where he has a model that comes apart to show all its insides. They can now recite scientific facts about digestion as easily as they can recite nursery rhymes. We are truly becoming too smart for our own good. You’d never guess we were orphans by how well we talk; we’re just like kids from Boston.
2 P.M.
2 PM
O Judy, such a calamity! Do you remember several weeks ago I told you about placing out a nice little girl in a nice family home where I hoped she would be adopted? It was a kind Christian family living in a pleasant country village, the foster-father a deacon in the church. Hattie was a sweet, obedient, housewifely little body, and it looked as though we had exactly fitted them to each other. My dear, she was returned this morning for STEALING. Scandal piled on scandal: SHE HAD STOLEN A COMMUNION CUP FROM CHURCH!
Oh Judy, what a disaster! Remember a few weeks ago when I told you about placing a sweet little girl with a lovely family, hoping she would be adopted? It was a nice Christian family living in a charming country village, with the foster-father being a deacon at the church. Hattie was a kind, obedient, homemaking little girl, and it seemed like they were perfect for each other. My dear, she was brought back this morning for STEALING. Scandal upon scandal: SHE HAD STOLEN A COMMUNION CUP FROM CHURCH!
Between her sobs and their accusations it took me half an hour to gather the truth. It seems that the church they attend is very modern and hygienic, like our doctor, and has introduced individual communion cups. Poor little Hattie had never heard of communion in her life. In fact, she wasn't very used to church, Sunday-school having always sufficed for her simple religious needs. But in her new home she attended both, and one day, to her pleased surprise, they served refreshments. But they skipped her. She made no comment, however; she is used to being skipped.
Between her sobs and their accusations, it took me half an hour to piece together the truth. It seems the church they go to is really modern and clean, like our doctor, and they've started using individual communion cups. Poor little Hattie had never heard of communion before. In fact, she wasn't very familiar with church; Sunday school had always met her simple religious needs. But in her new home, she started attending both, and one day, to her delight, they served refreshments. But they overlooked her. She didn’t say anything, though; she’s gotten used to being overlooked.
But as they were starting home she saw that the little silver cup had been casually left in the seat, and supposing that it was a souvenir that you could take if you wished, she put it into her pocket.
But as they were heading home, she noticed that the little silver cup had been left behind on the seat. Assuming it was a souvenir that you could take if you wanted, she slipped it into her pocket.
It came to light two days later as the most treasured ornament of her doll's-house. It seems that Hattie long ago saw a set of doll's dishes in a toy shop window, and has ever since dreamed of possessing a set of her own. The communion cup was not quite the same, but it answered. Now, if our family had only had a little less religion and a little more sense, they would have returned the cup, perfectly unharmed, and have marched Hattie to the nearest toy shop and bought her some dishes. But instead, they bundled the child and her belongings into the first train they could catch, and shoved her in at our front door, proclaiming loudly that she was a thief.
It became clear two days later that it was the most cherished item in her dollhouse. Apparently, Hattie had spotted a set of doll dishes in a toy shop window a long time ago and had since dreamed of having her own set. The communion cup wasn’t exactly the same, but it would do. If only our family had a little less religion and a bit more common sense, they would have returned the cup, completely intact, and taken Hattie to the nearest toy store to buy her some dishes. But instead, they hurried the child and her things onto the first train they could catch and pushed her through our front door, loudly declaring that she was a thief.
I am pleased to say that I gave that indignant deacon and his wife such a thorough scolding as I am sure they have never listened to from the pulpit. I borrowed some vigorous bits from Sandy's vocabulary, and sent them home quite humbled. As for poor little Hattie, here she is back again, after going out with such high hopes. It has an awfully bad moral effect on a child to be returned to the asylum in disgrace, especially when she wasn't aware of committing a crime. It gives her a feeling that the world is full of unknown pitfalls, and makes her afraid to take a step. I must bend all my energies now toward finding another set of parents for her, and ones that haven't grown so old and settled and good that they have entirely forgotten their own childhood.
I’m happy to say that I gave that outraged deacon and his wife such a solid scolding that I'm sure they’ve never heard anything like it from the pulpit. I borrowed some strong phrases from Sandy's vocabulary and sent them home feeling quite humbled. As for poor little Hattie, she’s back again after going out with such high hopes. It has a really negative impact on a child to be sent back to the asylum in shame, especially when she didn’t even know she was doing anything wrong. It makes her feel like the world is full of hidden dangers and makes her scared to take any action. I need to focus all my energy now on finding another pair of parents for her, ones who aren’t so old and settled that they've completely forgotten what childhood was like.
Sunday.
Sunday.
I forgot to tell you that our new farmer is here, Turnfelt by name; and his wife is a love, yellow hair and dimples. If she were an orphan, I could place her in a minute. We can't let her go to waste. I have a beautiful plan of building an addition to the farmer's cottage, and establishing under her comfortable care a sort of brooding-house where we can place our new little chicks, to make sure they haven't anything contagious and to eliminate as much profanity as possible before turning them loose among our other perfect chicks.
I forgot to mention that our new farmer has arrived, named Turnfelt; and his wife is adorable, with blonde hair and dimples. If she were an orphan, I could find her a place in no time. We can’t let her go to waste. I have a great idea to build an addition to the farmer's cottage and set up a cozy brooding area under her care where we can put our new little chicks, to ensure they’re not carrying anything contagious and to reduce any bad behavior as much as possible before letting them join our other perfect chicks.
How does that strike you? It is very necessary in an institution as full of noise and movement and stir as this to have some isolated spot where we can put cases needing individual attention. Some of our children have inherited nerves, and a period of quiet contemplation is indicated. Isn't my vocabulary professional and scientific? Daily intercourse with Dr. Robin MacRae is extremely educational.
How does that sound to you? It's really important in a place as noisy and chaotic as this to have a quiet space where we can take care of cases that need one-on-one attention. Some of our kids have inherited anxiety, and a time for quiet reflection is needed. Isn't my language professional and technical? Spending time with Dr. Robin MacRae is very enlightening.
Since Turnfelt came, you should see our pigs. They are so clean and pink and unnatural that they don't recognize one another any more as they pass.
Since Turnfelt came, you should see our pigs. They are so clean and pink and unnatural that they don't even recognize each other anymore as they pass by.
Our potato field is also unrecognizable. It has been divided with string and pegs into as many squares as a checker-board, and every child has staked out a claim. Seed catalogues form our only reading matter.
Our potato field is also unrecognizable. It has been divided with string and pegs into as many squares as a checkerboard, and every child has staked out a claim. Seed catalogs form our only reading material.
Noah has just returned from a trip to the village for the Sunday papers to amuse his leisure. Noah is a very cultivated person; he not only reads perfectly, but he wears tortoise-shell-rimmed spectacles while he does it. He also brought from the post office a letter from you, written Friday night. I am pained to note that you do not care for "Gosta Berling" and that Jervis doesn't. The only comment I can make is, "What a shocking lack of literary taste in the Pendleton family!"
Noah has just come back from the village with the Sunday papers to entertain himself. Noah is a very educated person; he not only reads well, but he wears tortoise-shell glasses while doing it. He also brought back a letter from you, written on Friday night. I'm disappointed to hear that you and Jervis don't like "Gosta Berling." The only thing I can say is, "What a terrible lack of literary taste in the Pendleton family!"
Dr. MacRae has another doctor visiting him, a very melancholy gentleman who is at the head of a private psychopathic institution, and thinks there's no good in life. But I suppose this pessimistic view is natural if you eat three meals a day with a tableful of melancholics. He goes up and down the world looking for signs of degeneracy, and finds them everywhere. I expected, after half an hour's conversation, that he would ask to look down my throat to see if I had a cleft palate. Sandy's taste in friends seems to resemble his taste in literature. Gracious! this is a letter!
Dr. MacRae has another doctor visiting him, a very gloomy guy who runs a private psychiatric hospital and believes there's no goodness in life. I guess this negative perspective makes sense if you share three meals a day with a table full of downers. He travels around looking for signs of decay and sees them everywhere. I figured that after half an hour of talking, he would want to check my throat to see if I had a cleft palate. Sandy's choice in friends seems to match his taste in books. Wow! this is a letter!
Good-by.
Goodbye.
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Thursday, May 2.
Thursday, May 2nd.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
Such a bewildering whirl of events! The J. G. H. is breathless. Incidentally, I am on the way toward solving my problem of what to do with the children while the carpenters and plumbers and masons are here. Or, rather, my precious brother has solved it for me.
Such a confusing whirlwind of events! The J. G. H. is out of breath. By the way, I’m figuring out what to do with the kids while the carpenters, plumbers, and masons are here. Or, actually, my dear brother has figured it out for me.
This afternoon I went over my linen supply, and made the shocking discovery that we have only sheets enough to change the children's beds every two weeks, which, it appears, is our shiftless custom. While I was still in the midst of my household gear, with a bunch of keys at my girdle, looking like the chatelaine of a medieval chateau, who should be ushered in but Jimmie?
This afternoon, I went through our linen supply and made the surprising discovery that we only have enough sheets to change the kids' beds every two weeks, which seems to be our lazy routine. While I was still surrounded by my household items, with a bunch of keys at my waist, looking like the manager of a medieval castle, who should walk in but Jimmie?
Being extremely occupied, I dropped a slanting kiss on his nose, and sent him off to look over the place in charge of my two oldest urchins. They collected six friends and organized a baseball game. Jimmie came back blown, but enthusiastic, and consented to prolong his visit over the week end, though after the dinner I gave him he has decided to take his future meals at the hotel. As we sat with our coffee before the fire, I confided to him my anxiety as to what should be done with the chicks while their new brooder is building. You know Jimmie. In one half a minute his plan was formulated.
Being really busy, I gave him a quick kiss on the nose and sent him off to check out the place with my two oldest kids. They ended up gathering six friends and organizing a baseball game. Jimmie came back exhausted but excited and agreed to stay for the weekend, although after the dinner I made for him, he decided to have his meals at the hotel. As we sat with our coffee in front of the fire, I shared my worries about what to do with the chicks while their new brooder is being built. You know Jimmie—within half a minute, he had a plan worked out.
"Build an Adirondack camp on that little plateau up by the wood lot. You can make three open shacks, each holding eight bunks, and move the twenty-four oldest boys out there for the summer. It won't cost two cents."
"Set up an Adirondack camp on that little plateau near the wood lot. You can create three open shacks, each with eight bunks, and move the twenty-four oldest boys out there for the summer. It won't cost much at all."
"Yes," I objected, "but it will cost more than two cents to engage a man to look after them."
"Yeah," I protested, "but it’s going to cost more than two cents to hire someone to take care of them."
"Perfectly easy," said Jimmie, grandly. "I'll find you a college fellow who'll be glad to come during the vacation for his board and a mere pittance, only you'll have to set up more filling board than you gave me tonight."
"Piece of cake," Jimmie said confidently. "I'll find you a college guy who’ll be happy to come over during break for his meals and a tiny payment, but you'll need to provide a more substantial meal than what you served me tonight."
Dr. MacRae dropped in about nine o'clock, after visiting the hospital ward. We've got three cases of whooping cough, but all isolated, and no more coming. How those three got in is a mystery. It seems there is a little bird that brings whooping cough to orphan asylums.
Dr. MacRae stopped by around nine o'clock after checking in at the hospital ward. We have three cases of whooping cough, but they’re all isolated, and there aren't any more coming in. How those three got here is a mystery. It seems there's a little bird that spreads whooping cough to orphanages.
Jimmie fell upon him for backing in his camp scheme, and the doctor gave it enthusiastically. They seized pencil and paper and drew up plans. And before the evening was over, the last nail was hammered. Nothing would satisfy those two men but to go to the telephone at ten o'clock and rouse a poor carpenter from his sleep. He and some lumber are ordered for eight in the morning.
Jimmie confronted him about supporting his camping plan, and the doctor agreed with excitement. They grabbed paper and a pencil and worked out the details. By the end of the evening, the last nail was hammered in. The two couldn’t be satisfied until they called a poor carpenter at ten o'clock to wake him up. They ordered him and some lumber for eight in the morning.
I finally got rid of them at ten-thirty, still talking uprights and joists and drainage and roof slants.
I finally sent them off at ten-thirty, still chatting about uprights and joists, drainage, and roof angles.
The excitement of Jimmie and coffee and all these building operations induced me to sit down immediately and write a letter to you; but I think, by your leave, I'll postpone further details to another time. Yours ever,
The excitement of Jimmie, coffee, and all these construction projects made me want to sit down right away and write you a letter; but I think, if you don’t mind, I’ll save the details for another time. Yours always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Saturday.
Saturday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
Will you be after dining with us at seven tonight? It's a real dinner party; we're going to have ice-cream.
Will you be joining us for dinner at seven tonight? It's a real dinner party; we're going to have ice cream.
My brother has discovered a promising young man to take charge of the boys,—maybe you know him,—Mr. Witherspoon, at the bank. I wish to introduce him to asylum circles by easy steps, so PLEASE don't mention insanity or epilepsy or alcoholism or any of your other favorite topics.
My brother has found a promising young man to oversee the boys—maybe you know him—Mr. Witherspoon from the bank. I’d like to introduce him to the asylum crowd gradually, so PLEASE don’t bring up insanity, epilepsy, alcoholism, or any of your other favorite subjects.
He is a gay young society leader, used to very fancy things to eat. Do you suppose we can ever make him happy at the John Grier Home? Yours in evident haste,
He is a gay young leader in society, accustomed to very fancy food. Do you think we can ever make him happy at the John Grier Home? Yours in clear haste,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
Sunday.
Sunday.
Dear Judy:
Dear Judy:
Jimmie was back at eight Friday morning, and the doctor at a quarter past. They and the carpenter and our new farmer and Noah and our two horses and our eight biggest boys have been working ever since. Never were building operations set going in faster time. I wish I had a dozen Jimmies on the place, though I will say that my brother works faster if you catch him before the first edge of his enthusiasm wears away. He would not be much good at chiseling out a medieval cathedral.
Jimmie was back at 8 a.m. on Friday, and the doctor arrived at 8:15. They, along with the carpenter, our new farmer, Noah, and our two horses, as well as our eight biggest boys, have been working ever since. I've never seen building projects get started so quickly. I wish I had a dozen Jimmies on the property, although I have to say my brother works faster if you get to him before his initial excitement starts to fade. He wouldn't be much help if we were chiseling out a medieval cathedral.
He came back Saturday morning aglow with a new idea. He had met at the hotel the night before a friend who belongs to his hunting club in Canada, and who is cashier of our First (and only) National Bank.
He returned Saturday morning excited about a new idea. The night before, he had met a friend at the hotel who is part of his hunting club in Canada and works as the cashier at our First (and only) National Bank.
"He's a bully good sport," said Jimmie, "and exactly the man you want to camp out with those kids and lick 'em into shape. He'll be willing to come for his board and forty dollars a month, because he's engaged to a girl in Detroit and wants to save. I told him the food was rotten, but if he kicked enough, you'd probably get a new cook."
"He's a bully good sport," Jimmie said, "and exactly the kind of guy you want to camp out with those kids and whip them into shape. He'll be happy to come for his meals and forty bucks a month since he's dating a girl in Detroit and wants to save up. I told him the food is terrible, but if he complains enough, you’ll probably get a new cook."
"What's his name?" said I, with guarded interest.
"What's his name?" I asked, intrigued but cautious.
"He's got a peach of a name. It's Percy de Forest Witherspoon."
"He's got a great name. It's Percy de Forest Witherspoon."
I nearly had hysterics. Imagine a Percy de Forest Witherspoon in charge of those twenty-four wild little savages!
I almost lost it. Can you picture a Percy de Forest Witherspoon leading those twenty-four wild little troublemakers?
But you know Jimmie when he has an idea. He had already invited Mr. Witherspoon to dine with me on Saturday evening, and had ordered oysters and squabs and ice-cream from the village caterer to help out my veal. It ended by my giving a very formal dinner party, with Miss Matthews and Betsy and the doctor included.
But you know Jimmie when he gets an idea. He had already invited Mr. Witherspoon to come over for dinner with me on Saturday night and had ordered oysters, squabs, and ice cream from the village caterer to go along with my veal. It ended up with me hosting a very formal dinner party, including Miss Matthews, Betsy, and the doctor.
I almost asked the Hon. Cy and Miss Snaith. Ever since I have known those two, I have felt that there ought to be a romance between them. Never have I known two people who matched so perfectly. He's a widower with five children. Don't you suppose it might be arranged? If he had a wife to take up his attention, it might deflect him a little from us. I'd be getting rid of them both at one stroke. It's to be considered among our future improvements.
I almost asked the Hon. Cy and Miss Snaith. Ever since I've known those two, I've felt there should be a romance between them. I've never seen two people who fit together so perfectly. He's a widower with five kids. Don't you think it could be arranged? If he had a wife to keep him occupied, it might take his focus off us a bit. I'd be getting rid of both of them in one go. It's something to think about for our future plans.
Anyway, we had our dinner. And during the course of the evening my anxiety grew, not as to whether Percy would do for us, but as to whether we should do for Percy. If I searched the world over, I never could find a young man more calculated to win the affection of those boys. You know, just by looking at him, that he does everything well, at least everything vigorous. His literary and artistic accomplishments I suspect a bit, but he rides and shoots and plays golf and football and sails a boat. He likes to sleep out of doors and he likes boys. He has always wanted to know some orphans; often read about 'em in books, he says, but never met any face to face. Percy does seem too good to be true.
Anyway, we had our dinner. And throughout the evening, my anxiety grew, not about whether Percy would fit in with us, but about whether we would be good enough for Percy. If I searched the world over, I could never find a young man better suited to win the affection of those boys. You can just tell by looking at him that he excels at everything, or at least everything active. I have some doubts about his literary and artistic talents, but he rides, shoots, plays golf and football, and sails a boat. He enjoys sleeping outdoors and he likes boys. He has always wanted to meet some orphans; he says he’s read about them in books, but has never met any in person. Percy really does seem too good to be true.
Before they left, Jimmie and the doctor hunted up a lantern, and in their evening clothes conducted Mr. Witherspoon across a plowed field to inspect his future dwelling.
Before they left, Jimmie and the doctor found a lantern, and in their evening attire, led Mr. Witherspoon across a plowed field to check out his future home.
And such a Sunday as we passed! I had absolutely to forbid their carpentering. Those men would have put in a full day, quite irrespective of the damage done to one hundred and four little moral natures. As it is, they have just stood and looked at those shacks and handled their hammers, and thought about where they would drive the first nail tomorrow morning. The more I study men, the more I realize that they are nothing in the world but boys grown too big to be spankable.
And what a Sunday we had! I completely had to stop them from working. Those guys would have spent the whole day doing their carpentry, completely ignoring the harm done to one hundred and four little moral souls. As it stands, they’ve just stood around looking at those shacks, fiddling with their hammers, and thinking about where they’d nail the first board tomorrow morning. The more I observe men, the more I understand that they’re really just boys who got too big to be spanked.
I am awfully worried as to how to feed Mr. Witherspoon. He looks as though he had a frightfully healthy appetite, and he looks as though he couldn't swallow his dinner unless he had on evening clothes. I've made Betsy send home for a trunkful of evening gowns in order to keep up our social standing. One thing is fortunate: he takes his luncheon at the hotel, and I hear their luncheons are very filling.
I’m really worried about how to feed Mr. Witherspoon. He seems to have a huge appetite, and he looks like he can't enjoy his dinner unless he’s in evening clothes. I had Betsy send home a trunk full of evening gowns to maintain our social status. One good thing is that he has lunch at the hotel, and I hear their lunches are quite filling.
Tell Jervis I am sorry he is not with us to drive a nail for the camp. Here comes the Hon. Cy up the path. Heaven save us!
Tell Jervis I'm sorry he's not here to help with the camp. Here comes the Hon. Cy up the path. Good grief!
Ever your unfortunate,
Always your unfortunate,
S. McB.
S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
May 8.
May 8th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Our camp is finished, our energetic brother has gone, and our twenty-four boys have passed two healthful nights in the open. The three bark-covered shacks add a pleasant rustic touch to the grounds. They are like those we used to have in the Adirondacks, closed on three sides and open in the front, and one larger than the rest to allow a private pavilion for Mr. Percy Witherspoon. An adjacent hut, less exposed to the weather, affords extremely adequate bathing facilities, consisting of a faucet in the wall and three watering-cans. Each camp has a bath master who stands on a stool and sprinkles each little shiverer as he trots under. Since our trustees WON'T give us enough bathtubs, we have to use our wits.
Our camp is complete, our energetic brother has left, and our twenty-four boys have enjoyed two refreshing nights outdoors. The three bark-covered cabins add a nice rustic charm to the area. They're similar to the ones we used to have in the Adirondacks, closed on three sides with an open front, and one is larger than the others to serve as a private pavilion for Mr. Percy Witherspoon. An adjacent hut, which is better sheltered from the elements, offers decent bathing facilities, including a faucet in the wall and three watering cans. Each camp has a bath master who stands on a stool and sprinkles each chilly camper as they pass underneath. Since our trustees WON'T provide us with enough bathtubs, we have to get creative.
The three camps have organized into three tribes of Indians, each with a chief of its own to answer for its conduct, Mr. Witherspoon high chief of all, and Dr. MacRae the medicine man. They dedicated their lodges Tuesday evening with appropriate tribal ceremonies. And though they politely invited me to attend, I decided that it was a purely masculine affair, so I declined to go, but sent refreshments, a very popular move. Betsy and I walked as far as the baseball field in the course of the evening, and caught a glimpse of the orgies. The braves were squatting in a circle about a big fire, each decorated with a blanket from his bed and a rakish band of feathers. (Our chickens seem very scant as to tail, but I have asked no unpleasant questions.) The doctor, with a Navajo blanket about his shoulders, was executing a war dance, while Jimmie and Mr. Witherspoon beat on war drums—two of our copper kettles, now permanently dented. Fancy Sandy! It's the first youthful glimmer I have ever caught in the man.
The three camps have come together as three tribes of Indians, each with its own chief to be responsible for their actions, with Mr. Witherspoon as the high chief and Dr. MacRae as the medicine man. They held their lodge dedication on Tuesday evening with traditional tribal ceremonies. Although they kindly invited me to join, I felt it was a strictly male event, so I chose not to attend but sent refreshments instead, which was a popular choice. Betsy and I walked over to the baseball field during the evening and caught a glimpse of the festivities. The warriors were sitting in a circle around a large fire, each adorned with a blanket from his bed and a stylish band of feathers. (Our chickens seem to have very short tails, but I haven't asked any uncomfortable questions.) The doctor, wrapped in a Navajo blanket, was performing a war dance, while Jimmie and Mr. Witherspoon beat on war drums—two of our copper kettles, now permanently dented. Fancy Sandy! It's the first time I've seen any youthful spark in him.
After ten o'clock, when the braves were safely stowed for the night, the three men came in and limply dropped into comfortable chairs in my library, with the air of having made martyrs of themselves in the great cause of charity. But they did not deceive me. They originated all that tomfoolery for their own individual delectation.
After ten o'clock, when the guys were safely tucked in for the night, the three men came in and slumped down into cozy chairs in my library, acting like they had sacrificed themselves for the noble cause of charity. But they didn't fool me. They started all that nonsense for their own entertainment.
So far Mr. Percy Witherspoon appears fairly happy. He is presiding at one end of the officers' table under the special protection of Betsy, and I am told that he instills considerable life into that sedate assemblage. I have endeavored to run up their menu a trifle, and he accepts what is put before him with a perfectly good appetite, irrespective of the absence of such accustomed trifles as oysters and quail and soft-shell crabs.
So far, Mr. Percy Witherspoon seems pretty happy. He’s sitting at one end of the officers' table under the special care of Betsy, and I’ve heard that he brings a lot of energy to that calm group. I’ve tried to upgrade their menu a bit, and he’s enjoying whatever is served, regardless of the lack of usual treats like oysters, quail, and soft-shell crabs.
There was no sign of a private sitting room that I could put at this young man's disposal, but he himself has solved the difficulty by proposing to occupy our new laboratory. So he spends his evenings with a book and a pipe, comfortably stretched in the dentist's chair. There are not many society men who would be willing to spend their evenings so harmlessly. That girl in Detroit is a lucky young thing.
There wasn't a private sitting room I could offer this young man, but he figured it out by suggesting he use our new lab. So, he spends his evenings reading a book and smoking a pipe, comfortably lounging in the dentist's chair. Not many guys in society would be willing to spend their evenings so innocently. That girl in Detroit is one lucky girl.
Mercy! An automobile full of people has just arrived to look over the institution, and Betsy, who usually does the honors, not here. I fly.
Mercy! A car full of people has just shown up to tour the place, and Betsy, who usually takes care of this, isn't here. I rush.
ADDIO! SALLIE.
Goodbye! Sallie.
My dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
This is not a letter,—I don't owe you one,—it's a receipt for sixty-five pairs of roller skates.
This isn't a letter—I'm not obligated to send you one—it's a receipt for sixty-five pairs of roller skates.
Many thanks.
Thanks a lot.
S. McB.
S. McB.
Friday.
Friday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
I hear that I missed a call today, but Jane delivered your message, together with the "Genetic Philosophy of Education." She says that you will call in a few days for my opinion of the book. Is it to be a written or an oral examination?
I heard that I missed a call today, but Jane brought your message, along with the "Genetic Philosophy of Education." She mentioned that you'll call in a few days to get my thoughts on the book. Will it be a written or a verbal exam?
And doesn't it ever occur to you that this education business is rather one-sided? It often strikes me that Dr. Robin MacRae's mental attitude would also be the better for some slight refurbishing. I will promise to read your book, provided you read one of mine. I am sending herewith the "Dolly Dialogues," and shall ask for an opinion in a day or so.
And doesn't it ever cross your mind that this education thing is pretty one-sided? It often seems to me that Dr. Robin MacRae's mindset could use a bit of updating too. I'll agree to read your book if you read one of mine. I'm sending you the "Dolly Dialogues," and I'll ask for your thoughts in a day or so.
It's uphill work making a Scotch Presbyterian frivolous, but persistency accomplishes wonders.
It's hard work trying to make a Scotch Presbyterian carefree, but perseverance works wonders.
S. McB.
S. McB.
May 12. My dear, dear Judy:
May 12. My sweet, sweet Judy:
Talk about floods in Ohio! Right here in Dutchess County we are the consistency of a wet sponge. Rain for five days, and everything wrong with this institution.
Talk about flooding in Ohio! Right here in Dutchess County, we’re as soggy as a wet sponge. After five days of rain, everything about this place is falling apart.
The babies have had croup, and we have been up o' nights with them. Cook has given notice, and there's a dead rat in the walls. Our three camps leaked, and in the early dawn, after the first cloudburst, twenty-four bedraggled little Indians, wrapped in damp bedding, came shivering to the door and begged for admission. Since then every clothesline, every stair-railing has been covered with wet and smelly blankets that steam, but won't dry. Mr. Percy de Forest Witherspoon has returned to the hotel to wait until the sun comes out.
The babies have had croup, and we've been up at night with them. The cook has given notice, and there's a dead rat in the walls. Our three tents leaked, and at dawn, after the first downpour, twenty-four disheveled little kids wrapped in wet bedding came shivering to the door and asked to come in. Since then, every clothesline and every stair railing has been covered with wet, smelly blankets that steam but won't dry. Mr. Percy de Forest Witherspoon has gone back to the hotel to wait for the sun to come out.
After being cooped up for four days with no exercise to speak of, the children's badness is breaking out in red spots, like the measles. Betsy and I have thought of every form of active and innocent occupation that could be carried on in such a congested quarter as this: blind man's buff and pillow fights and hide-and-go-seek, gymnastics in the dining room, and bean-bags in the school room. (We broke two windows.) The boys played leapfrog up and down the hall, and jarred all the plaster in the building. We have cleaned energetically and furiously. All the woodwork has been washed, and all of the floors polished. But despite everything, we have a great deal of energy left, and we are getting to that point of nerves where we want to punch one another.
After being stuck inside for four days without any exercise, the kids' misbehavior is showing up in red spots, like chickenpox. Betsy and I have come up with every kind of active and fun activity we could do in such a cramped space: blind man’s buff, pillow fights, hide-and-seek, gymnastics in the dining room, and bean bags in the classroom. (We broke two windows.) The boys jumped over each other in the hallway, shaking the plaster loose from the walls. We’ve cleaned like crazy. All the woodwork has been scrubbed, and every floor has been polished. But despite all that, we still have a ton of energy left, and we’re about to reach a point where we just want to hit each other.
Sadie Kate has been acting like a little deil—do they have feminine deils? If not, Sadie Kate has originated the species. And this afternoon Loretta Higgins had—well, I don't know whether it was a sort of fit or just a temper. She lay down on the floor and howled for a solid hour, and when any one tried to approach her, she thrashed about like a little windmill and bit and kicked.
Sadie Kate has been acting like a little demon—do they have female demons? If not, Sadie Kate has created the species. And this afternoon, Loretta Higgins had—well, I can't tell if it was a fit or just a tantrum. She lay on the floor and cried for a whole hour, and when anyone tried to get near her, she thrashed around like a little windmill and bit and kicked.
By the time the doctor came she had pretty well worn herself out. He picked her up, limp and drooping, and carried her to a cot in the hospital room; and after she was asleep he came down to my library and asked to look at the archives.
By the time the doctor arrived, she had pretty much exhausted herself. He picked her up, weak and slumped over, and carried her to a cot in the hospital room; after she fell asleep, he came down to my library and asked to see the archives.
Loretta is thirteen; in the three years she has been here she has had five of these outbreaks, and has been punished good and hard for them. The child's ancestral record is simple: "Mother died of alcoholic dementia, Bloomingdale Asylum. Father unknown."
Loretta is thirteen; in the three years she has been here, she has experienced five of these outbreaks and has been punished severely for them. The child's family background is straightforward: "Mother died of alcoholic dementia, Bloomingdale Asylum. Father unknown."
He studied the page long and frowningly and shook his head.
He studied the page for a long time, frowning as he shook his head.
"With a heredity like that, is it right to punish the child for having a shattered nervous system?"
"With a background like that, is it fair to blame the child for having a messed-up nervous system?"
"It is not," said I, firmly. "We will mend her shattered nervous system."
"It’s not," I said firmly. "We’ll fix her broken nervous system."
"If we can."
"If we can."
"We'll feed her up on cod-liver oil and sunshine, and find a nice kind foster mother who will take pity on the poor little—"
"We'll make sure she gets plenty of cod-liver oil and sunshine, and we’ll find a nice foster mom who will feel sorry for the poor little—"
But then my voice trailed off into nothing as I pictured Loretta's face, with her hollow eyes and big nose and open mouth and no chin and stringy hair and sticking-out ears. No foster mother in the world would love a child who looked like that.
But then my voice faded away as I imagined Loretta's face, with her empty eyes and big nose and open mouth and no chin and thin hair and protruding ears. No foster mom on the planet would love a child who looked like that.
"Why, oh, why," I wailed, "doesn't the good Lord send orphan children with blue eyes and curly hair and loving dispositions? I could place a million of that sort in kind homes, but no one wants Loretta."
"Why, oh, why," I cried, "doesn't the good Lord send orphan kids with blue eyes, curly hair, and sweet personalities? I could find a home for a million of them, but no one wants Loretta."
"I'm afraid the good Lord doesn't have anything to do with bringing our Lorettas into the world. It is the devil who attends to them."
"I'm afraid the good Lord has nothing to do with bringing our Lorettas into this world. It's the devil who takes care of that."
Poor Sandy! He gets awfully pessimistic about the future of the universe; but I don't wonder, with such a cheerless life as he leads. He looked today as though his own nervous system was shattered. He had been splashing about in the rain since five this morning, when he was called to a sick baby case. I made him sit down and have some tea, and we had a nice, cheerful talk on drunkenness and idiocy and epilepsy and insanity. He dislikes alcoholic parents, but he ties himself into a knot over insane parents.
Poor Sandy! He gets really pessimistic about the future of the universe; but I can’t blame him, considering the dreary life he leads. He looked today like his own nervous system was fried. He had been out in the rain since five this morning, when he was called to take care of a sick baby. I made him sit down and have some tea, and we had a nice, upbeat talk about drunkenness, stupidity, epilepsy, and insanity. He dislikes alcoholic parents, but he gets all tangled up over insane parents.
Privately, I don't believe there's one thing in heredity, provided you snatch the babies away before their eyes are opened.
Privately, I don't think there's anything in heredity, as long as you take the babies away before they open their eyes.
We've got the sunniest youngster here you ever saw; his mother and Aunt Ruth and Uncle Silas all died insane, but he is as placid and unexcitable as a cow.
We've got the sunniest kid here you've ever seen; his mom, Aunt Ruth, and Uncle Silas all went mad, but he's as calm and unbothered as a cow.
Good-by, my dear. I am sorry this is not a more cheerful letter, though at this moment nothing unpleasant seems to be happening. It's eleven o'clock, and I have just stuck my head into the corridor, and all is quiet except for two banging shutters and leaking eaves. I promised Jane I would go to bed at ten. Good night, and joy be wi' ye baith!
Goodbye, my dear. I'm sorry this isn’t a happier letter, even though nothing bad seems to be happening at the moment. It's eleven o'clock, and I just peeked into the hallway; everything is quiet except for two banging shutters and dripping eaves. I promised Jane I would go to bed at ten. Good night, and may joy be with you both!
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. There is one thing in the midst of all my troubles that I have to be grateful for: the Hon. Cy has been stricken with a lingering attack of grippe. In a burst of thankfulness I sent him a bunch of violets. P.S. 2. We are having an epidemic of pinkeye.
P.S. There's one thing amidst all my problems that I'm thankful for: the Hon. Cy has been hit with a bad case of the flu. In a moment of gratitude, I sent him a bunch of violets. P.S. 2. We're having an outbreak of pink eye.
May 16. Good morning, my dear Judy!
May 16. Good morning, my dear Judy!
Three days of sunshine, and the J. G. H. is smiling.
Three days of sunshine, and the J.G.H. is happy.
I am getting my immediate troubles nicely settled. Those beastly blankets have dried at last, and our camps have been made livable again. They are floored with wooden slats and roofed with tar paper. (Mr. Witherspoon calls them chicken coops.) We are digging a stone-lined ditch to convey any further cloudbursts from the plateau on which they stand to the cornfield below. The Indians have resumed savage life, and their chief is back at his post.
I’m finally sorting out my immediate problems. Those awful blankets have finally dried, and our camps are comfortable again. They’re built with wooden slats for flooring and covered with tar paper on the roof. (Mr. Witherspoon calls them chicken coops.) We’re digging a stone-lined ditch to channel any future rainstorms from the plateau where they are to the cornfield below. The Indians have returned to their wild ways, and their chief is back in charge.
The doctor and I have been giving Loretta Higgins's nerves our most careful consideration. We think that this barrack life, with its constant movement and stir, is too exciting, and we have decided that the best plan will be to board her out in a private family, where she will receive a great deal of individual attention.
The doctor and I have been paying close attention to Loretta Higgins's nerves. We believe that this military life, with its constant activity and hustle, is too stimulating, and we’ve decided that the best approach is to place her with a private family where she will get a lot of personal attention.
The doctor, with his usual resourcefulness, has produced the family. They live next door to him and are very nice people; I have just returned from calling. The husband is foreman of the casting room at the iron works, and the wife is a comfortable soul who shakes all over when she laughs. They live mostly in their kitchen in order to keep the parlor neat; but it is such a cheerful kitchen that I should like to live in it myself. She has potted begonias in the window and a nice purry tiger cat asleep on a braided rug in front of the stove. She bakes on Saturday—cookies and gingerbread and doughnuts. I am planning to pay my weekly call upon Loretta every Saturday morning at eleven o'clock. Apparently I made as favorable an impression on Mrs. Wilson as she made on me. After I had gone, she confided to the doctor that she liked me because I was just as common as she was.
The doctor, as usual, has introduced the family to me. They live next door and are really nice people; I just got back from visiting them. The husband is the foreman in the casting room at the iron works, and the wife is a warm person who shakes all over when she laughs. They mostly hang out in their kitchen to keep the living room tidy; but it’s such a cheerful kitchen that I’d love to live there myself. She has potted begonias in the window and a nice, sleepy tiger cat on a braided rug in front of the stove. She bakes on Saturdays—cookies, gingerbread, and doughnuts. I plan to make my weekly visit to Loretta every Saturday morning at eleven o’clock. Apparently, I made as good an impression on Mrs. Wilson as she did on me. After I left, she told the doctor that she liked me because I was just as down-to-earth as she is.
Loretta is to learn housework and have a little garden of her own, and particularly play out of doors in the sunshine. She is to go to bed early and be fed up on nice nourishing food, and they are to pet her and make her happy. All this for three dollars a week!
Loretta is going to learn household chores and have her own little garden, and especially play outside in the sunshine. She's supposed to go to bed early and be served healthy, nourishing food, and they’re going to pamper her and make her happy. All this for three dollars a week!
Why not find a hundred such families, and board out all the children? Then this building could be turned into an idiot asylum, and I, not knowing anything about idiots, could conscientiously resign and go back home and live happily ever after.
Why not find a hundred families like that and put all the kids in their care? Then this place could be turned into a facility for those with intellectual disabilities, and I, having no knowledge about them, could honestly resign and go back home to live happily ever after.
Really, Judy, I am growing frightened. This asylum will get me if I stay long enough. I am becoming so interested in it that I can't think or talk or dream of anything else. You and Jervis have blasted all my prospects in life.
Really, Judy, I'm getting scared. This place will drive me crazy if I stay here too long. I'm getting so absorbed in it that I can't think, talk, or dream about anything else. You and Jervis have ruined all my hopes for the future.
Suppose I should retire and marry and have a family. As families go nowadays, I couldn't hope for more than five or six children at the most, and all with the same heredity. But, mercy! such a family appears perfectly insignificant and monotonous. You have institutionalized me.
Suppose I were to retire, get married, and start a family. Considering families today, I couldn't expect to have more than five or six kids at most, all with the same traits. But, wow! that kind of family seems completely unremarkable and boring. You've made me feel like I'm in a system.
Reproachfully yours,
Sincerely,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
P.S. We have a child here whose father was lynched. Isn't that a piquant detail to have in one's history?
P.S. We have a kid here whose dad was lynched. Isn’t that a striking detail to have in one’s background?
Tuesday.
Tuesday.
Dearest Judy:
Dear Judy:
What shall we do? Mamie Prout does not like prunes. This antipathy to a cheap and healthful foodstuff is nothing but imagination, and ought not to be countenanced among the inmates of a well-managed institution. Mamie must be made to like prunes. So says our grammar teacher, who spends the noonday hour with us and overlooks the morals of our charges. About one o'clock today she marched Mamie to my office charged with the offense of refusing, ABSOLUTELY refusing, to open her mouth and put in a prune. The child was plumped down on a stool to await punishment from me.
What are we going to do? Mamie Prout doesn’t like prunes. This dislike for a cheap and healthy food is purely in her head and should not be tolerated among the residents of a well-run institution. Mamie needs to learn to like prunes. That’s what our grammar teacher says, who spends her lunchtime with us and looks after the behavior of our charges. Around one o'clock today, she brought Mamie to my office, accusing her of refusing—COMPLETELY refusing—to open her mouth and eat a prune. The child was set down on a stool to wait for my reprimand.
Now, as you know, I do not like bananas, and I should hate awfully to be forced to swallow them; so, by the same token, why should I force Mamie Prout to swallow prunes?
Now, as you know, I don’t like bananas, and I really wouldn’t want to be forced to eat them; so, by the same logic, why should I make Mamie Prout eat prunes?
While I was pondering a course that would seem to uphold Miss Keller's authority, but would at the same time leave a loophole for Mamie, I was called to the telephone.
While I was thinking about a way to support Miss Keller's authority but also leave a way out for Mamie, I got a phone call.
"Sit there until I come back," I said, and went out and closed the door.
"Wait there until I get back," I said, and went out and shut the door.
The message was from a kind lady wishing to motor me to a committee meeting. I didn't tell you that I am organizing local interest in our behalf. The idle rich who possess estates in this neighborhood are beginning to drift out from town, and I am laying my plans to catch them before they are deflected by too many garden parties and tennis tournaments. They have never been of the slightest use to this asylum, and I think it's about time they woke up to a realization of our presence.
The message was from a nice lady offering to drive me to a committee meeting. I didn't mention that I'm rallying local support for our cause. The wealthy people who own estates in this area are starting to leave the city, and I'm planning to engage them before they're distracted by too many garden parties and tennis tournaments. They have never been of any help to this shelter, and I believe it’s time they acknowledged our existence.
Returning at teatime, I was waylaid in the hall by Dr. MacRae, who demanded some statistics from my office. I opened the door, and there sat Mamie Prout exactly where she had been left four hours before.
Returning at teatime, I was stopped in the hall by Dr. MacRae, who asked for some statistics from my office. I opened the door, and there sat Mamie Prout exactly where she had been left four hours earlier.
"Mamie darling!" I cried in horror. "You haven't been here all this time?"
"Mamie, darling!" I exclaimed in shock. "You haven't been here this whole time?"
"Yes, ma'am," said Mamie; "you told me to wait until you came back."
"Sure thing, ma'am," said Mamie; "you asked me to wait until you returned."
That poor patient little thing was fairly swaying with weariness, but she never uttered a whimper.
That poor little patient was really swaying with exhaustion, but she never made a sound.
I will say for Sandy that he was SWEET. He gathered her up in his arms and carried her to my library, and petted her and caressed her back to smiles. Jane brought the sewing table and spread it before the fire, and while the doctor and I had tea, Mamie had her supper. I suppose, according to the theory of some educators, now, when she was thoroughly worn out and hungry, would have been the psychological moment to ply her with prunes. But you will be pleased to hear that I did nothing of the sort, and that the doctor for once upheld my unscientific principles. Mamie had the most wonderful supper of her life, embellished with strawberry jam from my private jar and peppermints from Sandy's pocket. We returned her to her mates happy and comforted, but still possessing that regrettable distaste for prunes.
I have to say Sandy was really sweet. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to my library, where he comforted her until she smiled. Jane set up the sewing table in front of the fire, and while the doctor and I had tea, Mamie ate her supper. I guess, according to some educators' theories, this would have been the perfect time to give her prunes since she was tired and hungry. But you’ll be glad to know I didn’t do that, and the doctor actually supported my unscientific views for once. Mamie had the best supper of her life, complete with strawberry jam from my private stash and peppermints from Sandy's pocket. We sent her back to her friends happy and comforted, but she still had that unfortunate dislike for prunes.
Did you ever know anything more appalling than this soul-crushing unreasoning obedience which Mrs. Lippett so insistently fostered? It's the orphan asylum attitude toward life, and somehow I must crush it out. Initiative, responsibility, curiosity, inventiveness, fight—oh dear! I wish the doctor had a serum for injecting all these useful virtues into an orphan's circulation.
Did you ever know anything more shocking than this soul-crushing, blind obedience that Mrs. Lippett pushed so hard? It's the orphan asylum mindset about life, and I need to eliminate it somehow. Initiative, responsibility, curiosity, inventiveness, determination—oh man! I wish the doctor had a serum to inject all these valuable traits into an orphan's bloodstream.
LATER.
LATER.
I wish you'd come back to New York. I've appointed you press agent for this institution, and we need some of your floweriest writing immediately. There are seven tots here crying to be adopted, and it's your business to advertise them.
I wish you'd come back to New York. I've made you the press agent for this institution, and we really need some of your best writing right away. There are seven kids here who are desperate to be adopted, and it's your job to promote them.
Little Gertrude is cross-eyed, but dear and affectionate and generous. Can't you write her up so persuasively that some loving family will be willing to take her even if she isn't beautiful? Her eyes can be operated on when she's older; but if it were a cross disposition she had, no surgeon in the world could remove that. The child knows there is something missing, though she has never seen a live parent in her life. She holds up her arms persuasively to every person who passes. Put in all the pathos you are capable of, and see if you can't fetch her a mother and father.
Little Gertrude is cross-eyed, but she's sweet, loving, and generous. Can't you write about her in a way that will make a caring family want to adopt her, even if she isn't conventionally beautiful? Her eyes can be fixed with surgery when she's older, but if her personality were difficult, no doctor could change that. The child knows something is missing, even though she has never met a live parent. She reaches out her arms to every person who walks by. Pour in all the emotion you can, and see if you can find her a mom and dad.
Maybe you can get one of the New York papers to run a Sunday feature article about a lot of different children. I'll send some photographs. You remember what a lot of responses that "Smiling Joe" picture brought for the Sea Breeze people? I can furnish equally taking portraits of Laughing Lou and Gurgling Gertrude and Kicking Karl if you will just add the literary touch.
Maybe you can get one of the New York newspapers to run a Sunday feature article about various kids. I'll send some photos. Do you remember how many responses that "Smiling Joe" picture got from the Sea Breeze folks? I can provide equally charming portraits of Laughing Lou, Gurgling Gertrude, and Kicking Karl if you just add the creative writing.
And do find me some sports who are not afraid of heredity. This wanting every child to come from one of the first families of Virginia is getting tiresome.
And please find me some people who aren't afraid of heredity. This idea that every child has to come from one of the founding families of Virginia is becoming exhausting.
Yours, as usual,
Yours, as always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Friday. My dear, dear Judy:
Friday. My beloved Judy:
Such an upheaval! I've discharged the cook and the housekeeper, and in delicate language conveyed the impression to our grammar teacher that she needn't come back next year. But, oh, if I could only discharge the Honorable Cy!
What a mess! I've fired the cook and the housekeeper, and I've politely let our grammar teacher know that she won't need to come back next year. But, oh, if only I could get rid of the Honorable Cy!
I must tell you what happened this morning. Our trustee, who has had a dangerous illness, is now dangerously well again, and dropped in to pay a neighborly call. Punch was occupying a rug on my library floor, virtuously engaged with building blocks. I am separating him from the other kindergarten children, and trying the Montessori method of a private rug and no nervous distraction. I was flattering myself that it was working well; his vocabulary of late has become almost prudish.
I need to share what happened this morning. Our trustee, who has been seriously ill, is now recovering surprisingly well and stopped by for a friendly visit. Punch was sitting on a rug in my library, happily focused on building blocks. I've taken him away from the other kindergarten kids and am trying out the Montessori method with a private rug and no distractions. I thought it was going well; his vocabulary recently has become almost overly proper.
After half an hour's desultory visit, the Hon. Cy rose to go. As the door closed behind him (I am at least thankful the child waited for that), Punch raised his appealing brown eyes to mine and murmured, with a confiding smile:
After a half-hour of aimless visiting, the Hon. Cy stood up to leave. As the door closed behind him (at least I'm grateful the child waited for that), Punch looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said with a trusting smile:
"Gee! ain't he got de hell of a mug?"
"Wow! doesn't he have a crazy face?"
If you know a kind Christian family where I can place out a sweet little five-year boy, please communicate at once with
If you know a caring Christian family that would take in a sweet little five-year-old boy, please get in touch right away with
S. McBRIDE,
S. McBRIDE,
Sup't John Grier Home.
Sup't John Grier Home.
Dear Pendletons:
Dear Pendletons:
I've never known anything like you two snails. You've only just reached Washington, and I have had my suitcase packed for days, ready to spend a rejuvenating week end CHEZ VOUS. Please hurry! I've languished in this asylum atmosphere as long as humanely possible. I shall gasp and die if I don't get a change.
I've never met anyone like you two snails. You've just arrived in Washington, and I've had my suitcase packed for days, excited to spend a refreshing weekend at your place. Please hurry! I've been stuck in this boring atmosphere for as long as I can handle. I’ll be gasping for air if I don’t get a change.
Yours,
Yours truly,
on the point of suffocation,
on the verge of suffocation,
S. McB.
S. McB.
P.S. Drop a card to Gordon Hallock, telling him you are there. He will be charmed to put himself and the Capitol at your disposal. I know that Jervis doesn't like him, but Jervis ought to get over his baseless prejudices against politicians. Who knows? I may be entering politics myself some day.
P.S. Send a message to Gordon Hallock, letting him know you're there. He’ll be happy to make himself and the Capitol available to you. I know Jervis doesn’t like him, but Jervis should really get over his unfounded biases against politicians. Who knows? I might get into politics myself one day.
My dear Judy:
Dear Judy:
We do receive the most amazing presents from our friends and benefactors. Listen to this. Last week Mr. Wilton J. Leverett (I quote from his card) ran over a broken bottle outside our gate, and came in to visit the institution while his chauffeur was mending the tire. Betsy showed him about. He took an intelligent interest in everything he saw, particularly our new camps. That is an exhibit which appeals to men. He ended by removing his coat, and playing baseball with two tribes of Indians. After an hour and a half he suddenly looked at his watch, begged for a glass of water, and bowed himself off.
We get the most amazing gifts from our friends and supporters. Check this out. Last week, Mr. Wilton J. Leverett (I’m quoting from his card) ran over a broken bottle outside our gate and came in to visit the institution while his chauffeur was fixing the tire. Betsy showed him around. He took a real interest in everything he saw, especially our new camps. That’s an exhibit that really appeals to guys. He ended up taking off his coat and playing baseball with two groups of Indians. After an hour and a half, he suddenly checked his watch, asked for a glass of water, and took his leave.
We had entirely forgotten the episode until this afternoon, when the expressman drove up to the door with a present for the John Grier Home from the chemical laboratories of Wilton J. Leverett. It was a barrel—well, anyway, a good sized keg—full of liquid green soap!
We had completely forgotten about that incident until this afternoon when the delivery driver showed up at the door with a gift for the John Grier Home from the chemical labs of Wilton J. Leverett. It was a barrel—well, a pretty big keg—full of liquid green soap!
Did I tell you that the seeds for our garden came from Washington? A polite present from Gordon Hallock and the U. S. Government. As an example of what the past regime did not accomplish, Martin Schladerwitz, who has spent three years on this pseudo farm, knew no more than to dig a grave two feet deep and bury his lettuce seeds!
Did I mention that the seeds for our garden came from Washington? A thoughtful gift from Gordon Hallock and the U.S. Government. As a demonstration of what the previous administration failed to achieve, Martin Schladerwitz, who has spent three years on this fake farm, only knew to dig a grave two feet deep and bury his lettuce seeds!
Oh, you can't imagine the number of fields in which we need making over; but of course you, of all people, can imagine. Little by little I am getting my eyes wide open, and things that just looked funny to me at first, now—oh dear! It's very disillusionizing. Every funny thing that comes up seems to have a little tragedy wrapped inside it.
Oh, you wouldn't believe how many areas need a makeover; but of course, you can picture it better than anyone. Little by little, I'm starting to see things more clearly, and what used to seem amusing at first now—oh no! It's really disheartening. Every funny situation I encounter seems to have a bit of tragedy hidden within it.
Just at present we are paying anxious attention to our manners—not orphan asylum manners, but dancing school manners. There is to be nothing Uriah Heepish about our attitude toward the world. The little girls make curtseys when they shake hands, and the boys remove caps and rise when a lady stands, and push in chairs at the table. (Tommy Woolsey shot Sadie Kate into her soup yesterday, to the glee of all observers except Sadie, who is an independent young damsel and doesn't care for these useless masculine attentions.) At first the boys were inclined to jeer, but after observing the politeness of their hero, Percy de Forest Witherspoon, they have come up to the mark like little gentlemen.
Right now, we're really focused on our manners—not the kind you'd find in an orphanage, but the kind you learn in dance class. We won’t have any Uriah Heep vibes in how we present ourselves to the world. The little girls curtsy when they shake hands, and the boys take off their caps, stand up when a lady enters, and pull out chairs at the table. (Yesterday, Tommy Woolsey accidentally pushed Sadie Kate into her soup, much to the amusement of everyone except Sadie, who’s a strong-willed young lady and doesn’t appreciate these unnecessary gestures from boys.) Initially, the boys were snickering, but after seeing how polite their role model, Percy de Forest Witherspoon, was, they've stepped up and acted like true gentlemen.
Punch is paying a call this morning. For the last half-hour, while I have been busily scratching away to you, he has been established in the window seat, quietly and undestructively engaged with colored pencils. Betsy, EN PASSANT, just dropped a kiss upon his nose.
Punch is here for a visit this morning. For the last half-hour, while I’ve been busy writing to you, he’s been settled in the window seat, quietly and harmlessly working with colored pencils. Betsy, EN PASSANT, just gave him a kiss on the nose.
"Aw, gwan!" said Punch, blushing quite pink, and wiping off the caress with a fine show of masculine indifference. But I notice he has resumed work upon his red-and-green landscape with heightened ardor and an attempt at whistling. We'll succeed yet in conquering that young man's temper.
"Aw, come on!" said Punch, blushing bright pink and brushing off the affection with a show of masculine indifference. But I see he’s gotten back to work on his red-and-green landscape with increased enthusiasm and is trying to whistle. We'll manage to win over that young man's temper yet.
Tuesday.
Tuesday.
The doctor is in a very grumbly mood today. He called just as the children were marching in to dinner, whereupon he marched, too, and sampled their food, and, oh, my dear! the potatoes were scorched! And such a clishmaclaver as that man made! It is the first time the potatoes ever have been scorched, and you know that scorching sometimes happens in the best of families. But you would think from Sandy's language that the cook had scorched them on purpose, in accordance with my orders.
The doctor is really grumpy today. He called just as the kids were coming in for dinner, and then he came in too and tried their food. Oh my gosh! The potatoes were burnt! And the fuss he made about it! It's the first time the potatoes have ever been burnt, and you know that sometimes it happens even in the best families. But you'd think from Sandy's words that the cook had burnt them on purpose, following my orders.
As I have told you before, I could do very nicely without Sandy.
As I mentioned earlier, I could get along just fine without Sandy.
Wednesday.
Wednesday.
Yesterday being a wonderful sunny day, Betsy and I turned our backs upon duty and motored to the very fancy home of some friends of hers, where we had tea in an Italian garden. Punch and Sadie Kate had been SUCH good children all day that at the last moment we telephoned for permission to include them, too.
Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, so Betsy and I decided to skip our responsibilities and drove to the upscale home of some friends of hers, where we enjoyed tea in an Italian garden. Punch and Sadie Kate had been SUCH well-behaved kids all day that at the last minute, we called to ask if we could bring them along, too.
"Yes, indeed, do bring the little dears," was the enthusiastic response.
"Yes, definitely, bring the little ones," was the enthusiastic response.
But the choice of Punch and Sadie Kate was a mistake. We ought to have taken Mamie Prout, who has demonstrated her ability to sit. I shall spare you the details of our visit; the climax was reached when Punch went goldfishing in the bottom of the swimming pool. Our host pulled him out by an agitated leg, and the child returned to the asylum swathed in that gentleman's rose-colored bathrobe.
But choosing Punch and Sadie Kate was a mistake. We should have taken Mamie Prout, who has shown she can sit still. I'll skip the details of our visit; the peak moment came when Punch went fishing in the bottom of the swimming pool. Our host yanked him out by a flailing leg, and the kid went back to the asylum wrapped in that guy's rose-colored bathrobe.
What do you think? Dr. Robin MacRae, in a contrite mood for having been so intensely disagreeable yesterday, has just invited Betsy and me to take supper in his olive-green house next Sunday evening at seven o'clock in order to look at some microscopic slides. The entertainment, I believe, is to consist of a scarlet-fever culture, some alcoholic tissue, and a tubercular gland. These social attentions bore him excessively; but he realizes that if he is to have free scope in applying his theories to the institution he must be a little polite to its superintendent.
What do you think? Dr. Robin MacRae, feeling guilty for being so unpleasant yesterday, has just invited Betsy and me to dinner at his olive-green house next Sunday evening at seven o'clock to look at some microscopic slides. The entertainment will include a scarlet fever culture, some alcoholic tissue, and a tubercular gland. He finds these social gatherings incredibly boring; but he understands that if he wants the freedom to apply his theories to the institution, he needs to be a bit polite to its superintendent.
I have just read this letter over, and I must admit that it skips lightly from topic to topic. But though it may not contain news of any great moment, I trust you will realize that its writing has consumed every vacant minute during the last three days. I am,
I just read this letter again, and I have to say it bounces around from one topic to another. But even if it doesn't have any big news, I hope you understand that writing it has taken up every free moment I’ve had in the last three days. I am,
Most fully occupied,
Mostly full,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
P.S. A blessed woman came this morning and said she would take a child for the summer—one of the sickest, weakest, neediest babies I could give her. She had just lost her husband, and wanted something HARD to do. Isn't that really very touching?
P.S. A wonderful woman came by this morning and said she would take a child for the summer—one of the sickest, weakest, neediest babies I could give her. She had just lost her husband and wanted something CHALLENGING to do. Isn't that really very moving?
Saturday afternoon.
Saturday afternoon.
Dear Judy and Jervis:
Hey Judy and Jervis:
Brother Jimmie (we are very alliterative!), spurred on by sundry begging letters from me, has at last sent us a present; but he picked it out himself.
Brother Jimmie (we really like our alliteration!), motivated by several begging letters from me, has finally sent us a gift; but he chose it himself.
WE HAVE A MONKEY! His name is Java. The children no longer hear the school bell ring. On the day the creature came, this entire institution formed in line and filed past and shook his paw. Poor Sing's nose is out of joint. I have to PAY to have him washed.
WE HAVE A MONKEY! His name is Java. The kids don’t hear the school bell anymore. On the day he arrived, the whole school lined up to file past and shake his paw. Poor Sing is feeling left out. I have to PAY to get him cleaned.
Sadie Kate is developing into my private secretary. I have her answer the thank-you letters for the institution, and her literary style is making a hit among our benefactors. She invariably calls out a second gift. I had hitherto believed that the Kilcoyne family sprang from the wild west of Ireland, but I begin to suspect that their source was nearer Blarney Castle. You can see from the inclosed copy of the letter she sent to Jimmie what a persuasive pen the young person has. I trust that in this case at least, it will not bear the fruit that she suggests.
Sadie Kate is turning into my personal secretary. I have her handle the thank-you letters for the organization, and her writing style is impressing our donors. She consistently gets a second donation. I used to think the Kilcoyne family came from the wild west of Ireland, but I'm starting to suspect their roots are closer to Blarney Castle. You can see from the attached copy of the letter she sent to Jimmie what a persuasive writer she is. I hope that in this case at least, it doesn't lead to the outcome she suggests.
Dear Mr. Jimie
Hi Mr. Jimie
We thank you very much for the lovly monkey you give. We name him java because that's a warm iland across the ocian where he was born up in a nest like a bird only big the doctor told us.
We really appreciate the lovely monkey you gave us. We named him Java because that's a warm island across the ocean where he was born in a nest like a bird, only much bigger, the doctor told us.
The first day he come every boy and girl shook his hand and said good morning java his hand feels funny he holds so tite. I was afraid to touch him but now I let him sit on my shoulder and put his arms around my kneck if he wants to. He makes a funny noise that sounds like swering and gets mad when his tale is puled.
The first day he came, every boy and girl shook his hand and said good morning. His hand feels strange; he holds on so tight. I was scared to touch him, but now I let him sit on my shoulder and wrap his arms around my neck if he wants. He makes a funny noise that sounds like swearing and gets mad when his tail is pulled.
We love him dearly and we love you two.
We love him so much and we love you both, too.
The next time you have to give a present, please send an elifant. Well I guess Ill stop.
The next time you need to give a gift, please send an elephant. Well, I guess I'll stop.
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
SADIE KATE KILCOYNE.
SADIE KATE KILCOYNE.
Percy de Forest Witherspoon is still faithful to his little followers, though I am so afraid he will get tired that I urge him to take frequent vacations. He has not only been faithful himself, but has brought in recruits. He has large social connections in the neighborhood, and last Saturday evening he introduced two friends, nice men who sat around the campfire and swapped hunting stories.
Percy de Forest Witherspoon remains loyal to his little followers, but I'm worried he might get worn out, so I encourage him to take regular breaks. He hasn't just stayed committed himself; he's also recruited new members. He has a wide social circle in the area, and last Saturday evening, he introduced two friends—great guys who gathered around the campfire and shared hunting stories.
One of them was just back from around the world, and told hair-raising anecdotes of the head hunters of Sarawak, a narrow pink country on the top of Borneo. My little braves pant to grow up and get to Sarawak, and go out on the war-path after head hunters. Every encyclopedia in this institution has been consulted, and there isn't a boy here who cannot tell you the history, manners, climate, flora, and fungi of Borneo. I only wish Mr. Witherspoon would introduce friends who had been head hunting in England, France, and Germany, countries not quite so CHIC as Sarawak, but more useful for general culture.
One of them had just returned from traveling the world and shared thrilling stories about the headhunters of Sarawak, a small pink country at the top of Borneo. My little ones are eager to grow up and get to Sarawak to go on the hunt for headhunters. Every encyclopedia in this place has been consulted, and there's not a single boy here who can't tell you about the history, customs, climate, plants, and fungi of Borneo. I just wish Mr. Witherspoon would introduce friends who have gone headhunting in England, France, and Germany—countries that may not be as trendy as Sarawak, but are more useful for broadening one's knowledge.
We have a new cook, the fourth since my reign began. I haven't bothered you with my cooking troubles, but institutions don't escape any more than families. The last is a negro woman, a big, fat, smiling, chocolate-colored creature from Souf Ca'lina. And ever since she came on honey dew we've fed! Her name is—what do you guess? SALLIE, if you please. I suggested that she change it.
We have a new cook, the fourth one since I took over. I haven’t troubled you with my cooking issues, but organizations aren't any different from families. The latest one is a Black woman, a big, cheerful, chocolate-colored lady from South Carolina. Ever since she arrived, we’ve been living the good life! Her name is—take a guess? SALLIE, if you want to know. I suggested she change it.
"Sho, Miss, I's had dat name Sallie longer'n you, an' I couldn't get used nohow to answerin' up pert-like when you sings out `Mollie!' Seems like Sallie jest b'longs to me."
"Sho, Miss, I've had that name Sallie longer than you, and I just can't get used to responding casually when you call out 'Mollie!' It feels like Sallie really just belongs to me."
So "Sallie" she remains; but at least there is no danger of our getting our letters mixed, for her last name is nothing so plebeian as McBride. It's Johnston-Washington, with a hyphen.
So she stays "Sallie"; but at least there's no risk of us mixing up our letters, because her last name is nothing as common as McBride. It's Johnston-Washington, with a hyphen.
Sunday.
Sunday.
Our favorite game of late is finding pet names for Sandy. His austere presence lends itself to caricature. We have just originated a new batch. The "Laird o' Cockpen" is Percy's choice.
Our favorite game lately is coming up with pet names for Sandy. His serious presence makes it easy to exaggerate. We just came up with a new set. The "Laird o' Cockpen" is Percy's pick.
The Laird o' Cockpen he's proud and he's great; His mind is ta'en up wi' the things of the state.
The Laird of Cockpen is proud and impressive; His thoughts are focused on matters of state.
Miss Snaith disgustedly calls him "that man," and Betsy refers to him (in his absence) as "Dr. Cod-Liver." My present favorite is "Macphairson Clon Glocketty Angus McClan." But for real poetic feeling, Sadie Kate beats us all. She calls him "Mister Someday Soon." I don't believe that the doctor ever dropped into verse but once in his life, but every child in this institution knows that one poem by heart.
Miss Snaith disgustedly calls him "that man," and Betsy refers to him (when he’s not around) as "Dr. Cod-Liver." My current favorite is "Macphairson Clon Glocketty Angus McClan." But for real poetic flair, Sadie Kate outshines us all. She calls him "Mister Someday Soon." I don't think the doctor ever wrote poetry more than once in his life, but every kid in this place knows that one poem by heart.
Someday soon something nice is going to happen;
Someday soon, something good is going to happen;
Be a good little girl and take this hint: Swallow with a smile your cod-liver ile,
Be a good girl and take this hint: Swallow your cod-liver oil with a smile,
And the first thing you know you will have a peppermint.
And before you know it, you'll have a peppermint.
It's this evening that Betsy and I attend his supper party, and I confess that we are looking forward to seeing the interior of his gloomy mansion with gleeful eagerness. He never talks about himself or his past or anybody connected with himself. He appears to be an isolated figure standing on a pedestal labeled S C I E N C E, without a glimmer of any ordinary affections or emotions or human frailties except temper. Betsy and I are simply eaten up with curiosity to know what sort of past he came out of; but just let us get inside his house, and to our detective senses it will tell its own story. So long as the portal was guarded by a fierce McGurk, we had despaired of ever effecting an entrance; but now, behold! The door has opened of its own accord.
It's this evening that Betsy and I are going to his dinner party, and I admit we are really excited to see the inside of his dark mansion. He never shares anything about himself, his past, or anyone connected to him. He seems like a solitary figure on a pedestal labeled S C I E N C E, without any hint of normal feelings or human weaknesses, except for his temper. Betsy and I are completely curious about his background; but just let us get inside his house, and our detective instincts will uncover its story. As long as the entrance was guarded by a fierce McGurk, we had lost hope of ever getting in; but now, look! The door has opened by itself.
To be continued.
To be continued.
S. McB.
S. McB.
Monday.
Monday.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
We attended the doctor's supper party last night, Betsy and Mr. Witherspoon and I. It turned out a passably cheerful occasion, though I will say that it began under heavy auspices.
We went to the doctor's dinner party last night, Betsy, Mr. Witherspoon, and I. It ended up being a fairly enjoyable evening, although I have to say it started off with some serious vibes.
His house on the inside is all that the outside promises. Never in my life have I seen such an interior as that man's dining room. The walls and carpets and lambrequins are a heavy dark green. A black marble mantelpiece shelters a few smoking black coals. The furniture is as nearly black as furniture comes. The decorations are two steel engravings in shiny black frames—the "Monarch of the Glen," and the "Stag at Bay."
His house is just as impressive inside as it is from the outside. I've never seen an interior like that man's dining room. The walls, carpets, and drapes are a deep dark green. A black marble mantelpiece holds a few smoldering black coals. The furniture is almost as black as furniture can get. The decorations are two steel engravings in glossy black frames—the "Monarch of the Glen" and the "Stag at Bay."
We tried hard to be light and sparkling, but it was like eating supper in the family vault. Mrs. McGurk, in black alpaca with a black silk apron, clumped around the table, passing cold, heavy things to eat, with a step so firm that she rattled the silver in the sideboard drawers. Her nose was up, and her mouth was down. She clearly does not approve of the master's entertaining, and she wishes to discourage all guests from ever accepting again.
We made an effort to be cheerful and upbeat, but it felt like having dinner in the family vault. Mrs. McGurk, wearing a black alpaca dress and a black silk apron, moved heavily around the table, serving cold, heavy dishes with such a firm step that she rattled the silverware in the drawers. Her nose was pointed up and her mouth turned down. It was obvious she disapproved of the master's entertaining, and she wanted to discourage all guests from ever accepting an invitation again.
Sandy sort of dimly knows that there is something the matter with his house, and in order to brighten it up a bit in honor of his guests, he had purchased flowers,—dozens of them,—the most exquisite pink Killarney roses and red and yellow tulips. The McGurk had wedged them all together as tight as they would fit into a peacock-blue jardiniere, and plumped it down in the center of the table. The thing was as big as a bushel-basket. Betsy and I nearly forgot our manners when we saw that centerpiece; but the doctor seemed so innocently pleased at having obtained a bright note in his dining room that we suppressed our amusement and complimented him warmly upon his happy color scheme.
Sandy kind of vaguely realizes there’s something off with his house, so to brighten it up a bit for his guests, he bought flowers—dozens of them—gorgeous pink Killarney roses and red and yellow tulips. The McGurk had crammed them all together as tightly as possible into a peacock-blue planter and set it down in the center of the table. It was as big as a bushel basket. Betsy and I almost lost our manners when we saw that centerpiece, but the doctor looked so genuinely happy to have added a splash of color to his dining room that we held back our laughter and warmly complimented him on his cheerful color scheme.
The moment supper was over, we hastened with relief to his own part of the house, where the McGurk's influence does not penetrate. No one in a cleaning capacity ever enters either his library or office or laboratory except Llewelyn, a short, wiry, bow-legged Welshman, who combines to a unique degree the qualities of chambermaid and chauffeur.
The moment dinner was over, we quickly moved with relief to his section of the house, where the McGurk's influence doesn’t reach. No one in a cleaning role ever enters his library, office, or laboratory except Llewelyn, a short, wiry, bow-legged Welshman, who uniquely combines the skills of a housekeeper and a chauffeur.
The library, though not the most cheerful room I have ever seen, still, for a man's house, is not so bad—books all around from floor to ceiling, with the overflow in piles on floor and table and mantelpiece; half a dozen abysmal leather chairs and a rug or so, with another black marble mantelpiece, but this time containing a crackling wood fire. By way of bric-a-brac, he has a stuffed pelican and a crane with a frog in its mouth, also a raccoon sitting on a log, and a varnished tarpon. A faint suggestion of iodoform floats in the air.
The library, while not the most cheerful room I've ever seen, is still, for a man's house, not too bad—books lining the walls from floor to ceiling, with extra piles on the floor, table, and mantelpiece; a handful of worn leather chairs and a couple of rugs, along with another black marble mantel that this time has a crackling wood fire. As for décor, there's a stuffed pelican, a crane with a frog in its mouth, a raccoon sitting on a log, and a shiny tarpon. There’s a faint hint of iodoform in the air.
The doctor made the coffee himself in a French machine, and we dismissed his housekeeper from our spirits. He really did do his best to be a thoughtful host and I have to report that the word "insanity" was not once mentioned. It seems that Sandy, in his moments of relaxation, is a fisherman. He and Percy began swapping stories of salmon and trout, and he finally got out his case of fishing flies, and gallantly presented Betsy and me with a "silver doctor" and a "Jack Scott" out of which to make hatpins. Then the conversation wandered to sport on the Scotch moors, and he told about one time when he was lost, and spent the night out in the heather. There is no doubt about it, Sandy's heart is in the highlands.
The doctor brewed the coffee himself in a French press, and we pushed aside thoughts of his housekeeper. He truly tried to be a considerate host, and I have to say that the word "insanity" didn't come up even once. It turns out that Sandy likes to fish during his downtime. He and Percy started sharing stories about salmon and trout, and then he took out his box of fishing flies and generously gifted Betsy and me a "silver doctor" and a "Jack Scott" to use as hatpins. The conversation then drifted to sports on the Scottish moors, and he recounted a time when he got lost and had to spend the night in the heather. There's no doubt about it; Sandy's heart belongs in the Highlands.
I am afraid that Betsy and I have wronged him. Though it is hard to relinquish the interesting idea, he may not, after all, have committed a crime. We are now leaning to the belief that he was crossed in love.
I’m afraid that Betsy and I have done him wrong. Even though it’s tough to let go of this intriguing idea, he might not have actually committed a crime after all. We're starting to think that he was just heartbroken.
It's really horrid of me to make fun of poor Sandy, for, despite his stern bleakness of disposition, he's a pathetic figure of a man. Think of coming home after an anxious day's round to eat a solitary dinner in that grim dining room!
It's really awful of me to make fun of poor Sandy, because, despite his serious and gloomy nature, he's a sad figure of a man. Just imagine coming home after a stressful day to eat a lonely dinner in that dark dining room!
Do you suppose it would cheer him up a little if I should send my company of artists to paint a frieze of rabbits around the wall?
Do you think it would make him feel better if I sent my group of artists to paint a frieze of rabbits around the wall?
With love, as usual,
With love, as always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Aren't you ever coming back to New York? Please hurry! I need a new hat, and am desirous of shopping for it on Fifth Avenue, not on Water Street. Mrs. Gruby, our best milliner, does not believe in slavishly following Paris Fashions; she originates her own styles. But three years ago, as a great concession to convention, she did make a tour of the New York shops, and is still creating models on the uplift of that visit.
Aren't you ever coming back to New York? Please hurry! I need a new hat, and I want to shop for it on Fifth Avenue, not on Water Street. Mrs. Gruby, our best milliner, doesn't believe in blindly following Paris fashions; she creates her own styles. But three years ago, as a big concession to convention, she did take a trip to the New York shops and is still designing styles inspired by that visit.
Also, besides my own hat, I must buy 113 hats for my children, to say nothing of shoes and knickerbockers and shirts and hair-ribbons and stockings and garters. It's quite a task to keep a little family like mine decently clothed.
Also, apart from my own hat, I need to buy 113 hats for my kids, not to mention shoes, shorts, shirts, hair ribbons, stockings, and garters. It's quite a challenge to keep a little family like mine properly dressed.
Did you get that big letter I wrote you last week? You never had the grace to mention it in yours of Thursday, and it was seventeen pages long, and took me DAYS to write.
Did you get that long letter I sent you last week? You didn't even have the courtesy to mention it in your Thursday response, and it was seventeen pages long and took me DAYS to write.
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
P.S. Why don't you tell me some news about Gordon? Have you seen him, and did he mention me? Is he running after any of those pretty Southern girls that Washington is so full of? You know that I want to hear. Why must you be so beastly uncommunicative?
P.S. Why don't you share some news about Gordon? Have you seen him, and did he say anything about me? Is he chasing after any of those pretty Southern girls that Washington has so many of? You know I want to hear. Why do you have to be so annoyingly uncommunicative?
Tuesday, 4:27 P.M.
Tuesday, 4:27 PM.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Your telegram came two minutes ago by telephone.
Your telegram just came through on the phone two minutes ago.
Yes, thank you, I shall be delighted to arrive at 5:49 on Thursday afternoon. And don't make any engagements for that evening, please, as I intend to sit up until midnight talking John Grier gossip with you and the president.
Yes, thank you, I would love to arrive at 5:49 on Thursday afternoon. And please don't make any plans for that evening, because I want to stay up until midnight chatting about John Grier gossip with you and the president.
Friday and Saturday and Monday I shall have to devote to shopping. Oh, yes, you're right; I already possess more clothes than any jailbird needs, but when spring comes, I must have new plumage. As it is, I wear an evening gown every night just to wear them out—no, not entirely that; to make myself believe that I'm still an ordinary girl despite this extraordinary life that you have pushed me into.
Friday, Saturday, and Monday, I’ll have to spend shopping. Oh, you're right; I already have more clothes than anyone needs, but when spring comes, I need new outfits. Right now, I wear an evening gown every night just to wear them out—well, not just that; to convince myself that I'm still an ordinary girl, even with this extraordinary life you’ve pushed me into.
The Hon. Cy found me yesterday arrayed in a Nile-green crepe (Jane's creation, though it looked Parisian). He was quite puzzled when he found I wasn't going to a ball. I invited him to stay and dine with me, and he accepted! We got on very affably. He expands over his dinner. Food appears to agree with him. If there's any Bernard Shaw in New York just now, I believe that I might spare a couple of hours Saturday afternoon for a matinee. G. B. S.'s dialogue would afford such a life-giving contrast to the Hon. Cy's.
The Hon. Cy found me yesterday dressed in a Nile-green crepe (Jane's creation, though it looked like something from Paris). He was quite surprised to discover that I wasn't going to a ball. I invited him to stay and have dinner with me, and he accepted! We got along very well. He really opens up during dinner. It seems like food agrees with him. If there's any Bernard Shaw playing in New York right now, I think I might set aside a couple of hours Saturday afternoon for a matinee. G. B. S.'s dialogue would provide such a refreshing contrast to the Hon. Cy's.
There's no use writing any more; I'll wait and talk.
There's no point in writing anymore; I'll just wait and talk.
ADDIO. SALLIE.
Goodbye, Sallie.
P.S. Oh dear! just as I had begun to catch glimmerings of niceness in Sandy, he broke out again and was ABOMINABLE. We unfortunately have five cases of measles in this institution, and the man's manner suggests that Miss Snaith and I gave the measles to the children on purpose to make him trouble. There are many days when I should be willing to accept our doctor's resignation.
P.S. Oh no! Just as I started to see some nice qualities in Sandy, he acted out again and was AWFUL. Unfortunately, we have five cases of measles in this place, and the man's attitude makes it seem like Miss Snaith and I intentionally gave the kids measles to annoy him. There are many days when I would gladly accept our doctor's resignation.
Wednesday.
Wednesday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
Your brief and dignified note of yesterday is at hand. I have never known anybody whose literary style resembled so exactly his spoken word.
Your short and respectful note from yesterday has arrived. I've never met anyone whose writing style matches their speech so perfectly.
And you will be greatly obliged if I will drop my absurd fashion of calling you "Enemy"? I will drop my absurd fashion of calling you Enemy just as soon as you drop your absurd fashion of getting angry and abusive and insulting the moment any little thing goes wrong.
And you'll really appreciate it if I stop my silly habit of calling you "Enemy"? I'll stop calling you Enemy as soon as you stop your silly habit of getting angry, abusive, and insulting the moment anything goes wrong.
I am leaving tomorrow afternoon to spend four days in New York.
I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon to spend four days in New York.
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
CHEZ THE PENDLETONS, New York. My dear Enemy:
CHEZ THE PENDLETONS, New York. My dear Enemy:
I trust that this note will find you in a more affable frame of mind than when I saw you last. I emphatically repeat that it was not due to the carelessness of the superintendent of our institution that those two new cases of measles crept in, but rather to the unfortunate anatomy of our old-fashioned building, which does not permit of the proper isolation of contagious cases.
I hope this note finds you in a better mood than when I last saw you. I want to emphasize that the two new cases of measles weren't the fault of our institution's superintendent; it was mainly due to the unfortunate design of our outdated building, which doesn't allow for proper isolation of contagious cases.
As you did not deign to visit us yesterday morning before I left, I could not offer any parting suggestions. I therefore write to ask that you cast your critical eye upon Mamie Prout. She is covered all over with little red spots which may be measles, though I am hoping not. Mamie spots very easily.
As you didn't bother to come see us yesterday morning before I left, I couldn't give you any farewell advice. So, I'm writing to ask you to take a look at Mamie Prout. She has little red spots all over her, which might be measles, but I’m hoping it’s not. Mamie gets spots easily.
I return to prison life next Monday at six o'clock.
I go back to prison life next Monday at 6 PM.
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
P.S. I trust you will pardon my mentioning it, but you are not the kind of doctor that I admire. I like them chubby and round and smiling.
P.S. I hope you don't mind me bringing this up, but you're not the kind of doctor I look up to. I prefer them to be chubby, cheerful, and smiling.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
June 9.
June 9th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
You are an awful family for an impressionable young girl to visit. How can you expect me to come back and settle down contentedly to institution life after witnessing such a happy picture of domestic concord as the Pendleton household presents?
You’re a terrible family for an impressionable young girl to be around. How can you expect me to come back and happily adjust to life in an institution after seeing such a happy scene of family harmony like the Pendleton household?
All the way back in the train, instead of occupying myself with two novels, four magazines, and one box of chocolates that your husband thoughtfully provided, I spent the time in a mental review of the young men of my acquaintance to see if I couldn't discover one as nice as Jervis. I did! (A little nicer, I think.) From this day on he is the marked-down victim, the destined prey.
All the way back on the train, instead of passing the time with the two novels, four magazines, and one box of chocolates that your husband kindly offered, I was mentally going through the list of young men I know to see if I could find one as nice as Jervis. I did! (I think he’s even a bit nicer.) From this day on, he’s the chosen target, the intended catch.
I shall hate to give up the asylum after getting so excited over it, but unless you are willing to move it to the capital, I don't see any alternative.
I really don't want to give up the refuge after getting so excited about it, but unless you're willing to move it to the capital, I don't see any other option.
The train was awfully late. We sat and smoked on a siding while two accommodations and a freight dashed past. I think we must have broken something, and had to tinker up our engine. The conductor was soothing, but uncommunicative.
The train was really late. We sat and smoked on a side track while two passenger trains and a freight train rushed by. I think we must have broken something and needed to fix our engine. The conductor was calming but didn’t say much.
It was 7:30 when I descended, the only passenger, at our insignificant station in the pitch darkness and RAIN, without an umbrella, and wearing that precious new hat. No Turnfelt to meet me; not even a station hack. To be sure, I hadn't telegraphed the exact time of my arrival, but, still, I did feel rather neglected. I had sort of vaguely expected all ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN to be drawn up by the platform, scattering flowers and singing songs of welcome. Just as I was telling the station man that I would watch his telegraph instrument while he ran across to the corner saloon and telephoned for a vehicle, there came whirling around the corner two big searchlights aimed straight at me. They stopped nine inches before running me down, and I heard Sandy's voice saying:
It was 7:30 when I stepped off the train, the only passenger, at our small station in the pitch darkness and RAIN, without an umbrella, and wearing that precious new hat. No Turnfelt waiting for me; not even a taxi. Sure, I hadn’t telegraphed my exact arrival time, but I still felt a bit forgotten. I had kind of expected all ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN to be gathered on the platform, throwing flowers and singing welcome songs. Just as I was telling the station guy that I would keep an eye on his telegraph while he dashed to the corner bar to call for a ride, two big searchlights came whirling around the corner, aimed straight at me. They stopped just inches from running me over, and I heard Sandy's voice saying:
"Weel, weel, Miss Sallie McBride! I'm thinking it's ower time you came back to tak' the bit bairns off my hands."
"Well, well, Miss Sallie McBride! I think it’s about time you came back to take the little kids off my hands."
That man had come three times to meet me on the off chance of the train's getting in some time. He tucked me and my new hat and bags and books and chocolates all in under his waterproof flap, and we splashed off. Really, I felt as if I was getting back home again, and quite sad at the thought of ever having to leave. Mentally, you see, I had already resigned and packed and gone. The mere idea that you are not in a place for the rest of your life gives you an awfully unstable feeling. That's why trial marriages would never work. You've got to feel you're in a thing irrevocably and forever in order to buckle down and really put your whole mind into making it a success.
That guy had come to meet me three times, just hoping the train would arrive at some point. He wrapped me, my new hat, my bags, books, and chocolates all under his waterproof flap, and we splashed off. Honestly, I felt like I was going back home, and it made me a bit sad to think about leaving. Mentally, I had already resigned, packed, and left. Just the thought of not being in a place for the rest of your life gives you a really unstable feeling. That’s why trial marriages would never work. You need to feel like you’re fully committed and in it for the long haul to really focus on making it successful.
It's astounding how much news can accrue in four days. Sandy just couldn't talk fast enough to tell me everything I wanted to hear. Among other items, I learned that Sadie Kate had spent two days in the infirmary, her malady being, according to the doctor's diagnosis, half a jar of gooseberry jam and Heaven knows how many doughnuts. Her work had been changed during my absence to dishwashing in the officers' pantry, and the juxtaposition of so many exotic luxuries was too much for her fragile virtue.
It's amazing how much news can pile up in four days. Sandy couldn't talk fast enough to share everything I wanted to know. Among other things, I found out that Sadie Kate had spent two days in the infirmary, and the doctor said her issue was half a jar of gooseberry jam and who knows how many doughnuts. While I was away, her job changed to dishwashing in the officers' pantry, and being surrounded by so many fancy treats was just too much for her delicate morals.
Also, our colored cook Sallie and our colored useful man Noah have entered upon a war of extermination. The original trouble was over a little matter of kindling, augmented by a pail of hot water that Sallie threw out of the window with, for a woman, unusual accuracy of aim. You can see what a rare character the head of an orphan asylum must have. She has to combine the qualities of a baby nurse and a police magistrate.
Also, our cook Sallie and our handyman Noah have gotten into an all-out war. It all started over a small issue with some kindling, which was made worse when Sallie tossed a bucket of hot water out the window with, for a woman, surprising accuracy. You can see what a unique character the head of an orphanage must be. She has to balance the skills of a nanny and a police judge.
The doctor had told only the half when we reached the house, and as he had not yet dined, owing to meeting me three times, I begged him to accept the hospitality of the John Grier. I would get Betsy and Mr. Witherspoon, and we would hold an executive meeting, and settle all our neglected businesses.
The doctor had only shared part of the story when we got to the house, and since he hadn’t eaten yet, having run into me three times, I asked him to enjoy the hospitality of the John Grier. I would grab Betsy and Mr. Witherspoon, and we would have a meeting to take care of all our overdue matters.
Sandy accepted with flattering promptness. He likes to dine outside of the family vault.
Sandy quickly accepted with a compliment. He enjoys eating outside of the family vault.
But Betsy, I found, had dashed home to greet a visiting grandparent, and Percy was playing bridge in the village. It's seldom the young thing gets out of an evening, and I'm glad for him to have a little cheerful diversion.
But I found that Betsy had rushed home to welcome a visiting grandparent, and Percy was playing bridge in the village. It's rare for the young ones to go out in the evening, and I'm happy for him to have a little enjoyable distraction.
So it ended in the doctor's and my dining tete-a-tete on a hastily improvised dinner,—it was then close upon eight, and our normal dinner hour is 6:30,—but it was such an improvised dinner as I am sure Mrs. McGurk never served him. Sallie, wishing to impress me with her invaluableness, did her absolutely Southern best. And after dinner we had coffee before the fire in my comfortable blue library, while the wind howled outside and the shutters banged.
So it ended with the doctor and me having dinner together at a last-minute setup—it was almost eight, and we usually eat at 6:30—but it was definitely a dinner that Mrs. McGurk would never have made for him. Sallie, wanting to show me how valuable she is, did her very best in a Southern way. After dinner, we had coffee by the fire in my cozy blue library while the wind howled outside and the shutters slammed.
We passed a most cordial and intimate evening. For the first time since our acquaintance I struck a new note in the man. There really is something attractive about him when you once come to know him. But the process of knowing him requires time and tact. He's no' very gleg at the uptak. I've never seen such a tantalizing inexplicable person. All the time I'm talking to him I feel as though behind his straight line of a mouth and his half-shut eyes there were banked fires smoldering inside. Are you sure he hasn't committed a crime? He does manage to convey the delicious feeling that he has.
We had a warm and personal evening together. For the first time since we met, I noticed a different side to him. There’s definitely something appealing about him once you get to know him. But getting to know him takes time and strategy. He’s not very quick to pick things up. I’ve never met someone so frustratingly mysterious. While I’m talking to him, I can’t shake the feeling that beneath his straight mouth and partially closed eyes, there are hidden fires simmering inside. Are you sure he hasn’t done something wrong? He really gives off this enticing vibe that he might have.
And I must add that Sandy's not so bad a talker when he lets himself go. He has the entire volume of Scotch literature at his tongue's end.
And I have to say, Sandy isn't such a bad conversationalist when he opens up. He has the whole range of Scottish literature at his fingertips.
"Little kens the auld wife as she sits by the fire what the wind is doing on Hurly-Burly-Swire," he observed as a specially fierce blast drove the rain against the window. That sounds pat, doesn't it? I haven't, though, the remotest idea what it means. And listen to this: between cups of coffee (he drinks far too much coffee for a sensible medical man) he casually let fall the news that his family knew the R. L. S. family personally, and used to take supper at 17 Heriot Row! I tended him assiduously for the rest of the evening in a Did you once see Shelley plain, And did he stop and speak to you? frame of mind.
"Little does the old woman know as she sits by the fire what the wind is up to on Hurly-Burly-Swire," he noted as a particularly strong gust slammed the rain against the window. That sounds pretty accurate, doesn't it? I still have no clue what it means. And check this out: between cups of coffee (he drinks way too much coffee for someone sensible like a doctor), he casually mentioned that his family personally knew the R. L. S. family and used to have supper at 17 Heriot Row! I took care of him attentively for the rest of the evening in a Did you ever see Shelley and did he stop and talk to you? kind of way.
When I started this letter, I had no intention of filling it with a description of the recently excavated charms of Robin MacRae; it's just by way of remorseful apology. He was so nice and companionable last night that I have been going about today feeling conscience-smitten at the thought of how mercilessly I made fun of him to you and Jervis. I really didn't mean quite all of the impolite things that I said. About once a month the man is sweet and tractable and engaging.
When I began this letter, I didn't plan to fill it with a description of the recently uncovered qualities of Robin MacRae; this is just a remorseful apology. He was so kind and friendly last night that I've been feeling guilty today thinking about how harshly I teased him in front of you and Jervis. I honestly didn't mean all the rude things I said. About once a month, the guy is genuinely sweet, easygoing, and charming.
Punch has just been paying a social call, and during the course of it he lost three little toadlings an inch long. Sadie Kate recovered one of them from under the bookcase, but the other two hopped away; and I'm so afraid they've taken sanctuary in my bed! I do wish that mice and snakes and toads and angleworms were not so portable. You never know what is going on in a perfectly respectable-looking child's pocket.
Punch has just been visiting, and during that time, he lost three tiny toads that were about an inch long. Sadie Kate found one under the bookcase, but the other two jumped away, and I’m really worried they’ve made a home in my bed! I wish mice, snakes, toads, and angleworms weren't so easy to carry around. You can never tell what’s happening in a seemingly innocent child's pocket.
I had a beautiful visit in Casa Pendleton. Don't forget your promise to return it soon.
I had a lovely visit at Casa Pendleton. Don’t forget your promise to return it soon.
Yours as ever,
Always yours,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. I left a pair of pale-blue bedroom slippers under the bed. Will you please have Mary wrap them up and mail them to me? And hold her hand while she writes the address. She spelt my name on the place cards "Mackbird."
P.S. I left a pair of light blue bedroom slippers under the bed. Could you please have Mary wrap them up and send them to me? And help her while she writes the address. She spelled my name on the place cards "Mackbird."
Tuesday.
Tuesday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
As I told you, I left an application for an accomplished nurse with the employment bureau of New York.
As I mentioned, I submitted an application for a skilled nurse at the New York employment agency.
Wanted! A nurse maid with an ample lap suitable for the accommodation of seventeen babies at once.
Wanted! A nanny with a large lap that can comfortably hold seventeen babies at the same time.
She came this afternoon, and this is the fine figure of a woman that I drew!
She came this afternoon, and this is the amazing woman that I drew!
We couldn't keep a baby from sliding off her lap unless we fastened him firmly with safety pins.
We couldn't stop a baby from slipping off her lap unless we pinned him down securely with safety pins.
Please give Sadie Kate the magazine. I'll read it tonight and return it tomorrow.
Please give Sadie Kate the magazine. I’ll read it tonight and return it tomorrow.
Was there ever a more docile and obedient pupil than
Was there ever a more compliant and eager-to-please student than
S. McBRIDE?
S. McBRIDE?
Thursday. My dear Judy:
Thursday. Dear Judy:
I've been spending the last three days busily getting under way all those latest innovations that we planned in New York. Your word is law. A public cooky jar has been established.
I've been busy over the last three days launching all the latest innovations we planned in New York. Your word is law. A public cookie jar has been set up.
Also, the eighty play boxes have been ordered. It is a wonderful idea, having a private box for each child, where he can store up his treasures. The ownership of a little personal property will help develop them into responsible citizens. I ought to have thought of it myself, but for some reason the idea didn't come. Poor Judy! You have inside knowledge of the longings of their little hearts that I shall never be able to achieve, not with all the sympathy I can muster.
Also, the eighty play boxes have been ordered. It's a great idea to have a private box for each child where they can keep their treasures. Owning a little personal property will help them grow into responsible citizens. I should have thought of it myself, but for some reason it didn’t occur to me. Poor Judy! You have an understanding of the deep desires in their little hearts that I will never be able to reach, no matter how much sympathy I can show.
We are doing our best to run this institution with as few discommoding rules as possible, but in regard to those play boxes there is one point on which I shall have to be firm. The children may not keep in them mice or toads or angleworms.
We are trying our best to manage this institution with as few bothersome rules as possible, but when it comes to those play boxes, there’s one thing I have to be strict about. The kids can’t keep mice, toads, or angleworms in them.
I can't tell you how pleased I am that Betsy's salary is to be raised, and that we are to keep her permanently. But the Hon. Cy Wykoff deprecates the step. He has been making inquiries, and he finds that her people are perfectly able to take care of her without any salary.
I can't express how happy I am that Betsy's salary is going to be increased and that we're keeping her on permanently. However, the Hon. Cy Wykoff is against this decision. He has been asking around and discovered that her family is fully capable of supporting her without any salary.
"You don't furnish legal advice for nothing," say I to him. "Why should she furnish her trained services for nothing?"
"You don't provide legal advice for free," I say to him. "Why should she offer her professional services for free?"
"This is charitable work."
"This is volunteer work."
"Then work which is undertaken for your own good should be paid, but work which is undertaken for the public good should not be paid?"
"Then work done for your own benefit should be compensated, but work done for the public good shouldn’t be?"
"Fiddlesticks!" says he. "She's a woman, and her family ought to support her."
"Fiddlesticks!" he says. "She's a woman, and her family should support her."
This opened up vistas of argument which I did not care to enter with the Hon. Cy, so I asked him whether he thought it would be nicer to have a real lawn or hay on the slope that leads to the gate. He likes to be consulted, and I pamper him as much as possible in all unessential details. You see, I am following Sandy's canny advice: "Trustees are like fiddle-strings; they maunna be screwed ower tight. Humor the mon, but gang your ain gait." Oh, the tact that this asylum is teaching me! I should make a wonderful politician's wife.
This opened up a lot of arguments that I didn't want to have with the Hon. Cy, so I asked him if he thought it would be nicer to have a real lawn or hay on the slope that leads to the gate. He likes to be involved in decisions, and I indulge him as much as I can in all the little details that don't really matter. You see, I’m taking Sandy's wise advice: "Trustees are like fiddle strings; they shouldn’t be tightened too much. Go along with the guy, but follow your own path." Oh, the skills this setting is teaching me! I would make an amazing politician's wife.
Thursday night.
Thursday evening.
You will be interested to hear that I have temporarily placed out Punch with two charming spinsters who have long been tottering on the brink of a child. They finally came last week, and said they would like to try one for a month to see what the sensation felt like.
You’ll be curious to know that I’ve temporarily paired Punch with two lovely single women who have been on the verge of having a child for quite some time. They finally came by last week and expressed that they’d like to try having one for a month to see what it feels like.
They wanted, of course, a pretty ornament, dressed in pink and white and descended from the Mayflower. I told them that any one could bring up a daughter of the Mayflower to be an ornament to society, but the real feat was to bring up a son of an Italian organ-grinder and an Irish washerwoman. And I offered Punch. That Neapolitan heredity of his, artistically speaking, may turn out a glorious mixture, if the right environment comes along to choke out all the weeds.
They obviously wanted a beautiful ornament, dressed in pink and white and coming from the Mayflower. I told them that anyone could raise a daughter of the Mayflower to be a symbol of society, but the real achievement was raising a son of an Italian organ grinder and an Irish washerwoman. And I offered Punch. That Neapolitan heritage of his, artistically speaking, could turn out to be a remarkable blend if the right environment comes along to eliminate all the weeds.
I put it up to them as a sporting proposition, and they were game. They have agreed to take him for one month and concentrate upon his remaking all their years of conserved force, to the end that he may be fit for adoption in some moral family. They both have a sense of humor and ACCOMPLISHING characters, or I should never have dared to propose it. And really I believe it's going to be the one way of taming our young fire-eater. They will furnish the affection and caresses and attention that in his whole abused little life he has never had.
I brought it up to them as a friendly challenge, and they were up for it. They’ve agreed to take him in for a month and focus on reworking him with all their years of experience, so he can be ready for adoption into a loving family. They both have a good sense of humor and strong personalities, or I would never have dared to suggest it. Honestly, I believe this is the best way to calm our young troublemaker. They will provide the love, affection, and attention that he’s never received in his difficult little life.
They live in a fascinating old house with an Italian garden, and furnishings selected from the whole round world. It does seem like sacrilege to turn that destructive child loose in such a collection of treasures. But he hasn't broken anything here for more than a month, and I believe that the Italian in him will respond to all that beauty.
They live in an interesting old house with an Italian garden and furnishings chosen from all over the world. It feels almost wrong to let that destructive kid roam around such a collection of treasures. But he hasn't broken anything here in over a month, and I believe that the Italian in him will appreciate all that beauty.
I warned them that they must not shrink from any profanity that might issue from his pretty baby lips.
I warned them that they shouldn't hold back from any swear words that might come from his cute little lips.
He departed last night in a very fancy automobile, and maybe I wasn't glad to say good-by to our disreputable young man! He has absorbed just about half of my energy.
He left last night in a really fancy car, and honestly, I wasn't too upset to say goodbye to our shady young man! He has taken up nearly half of my energy.
Friday.
Friday.
The pendant arrived this morning. Many thanks! But you really ought not to have given me another; a hostess cannot be held accountable for all the things that careless guests lose in her house. It is far too pretty for my chain. I am thinking of having my nose pierced, Cingalese fashion, and wearing my new jewel where it will really show.
The pendant arrived this morning. Thanks so much! But you really shouldn’t have given me another one; a hostess can't be responsible for everything careless guests lose in her house. It's way too pretty for my chain. I'm considering getting my nose pierced, Cingalese style, and wearing my new jewel where it will really stand out.
I must tell you that our Percy is putting some good constructive work into this asylum. He has founded the John Grier Bank, and has worked out all the details in a very professional and businesslike fashion, entirely incomprehensible to my non-mathematical mind. All of the older children possess properly printed checkbooks, and they are each to be paid five dollars a week for their services, such as going to school and accomplishing housework. They are then to pay the institution (by check) for their board and clothes, which will consume their five dollars. It looks like a vicious circle, but it's really very educative; they will comprehend the value of money before we dump them into a mercenary world. Those who are particularly good in lessons or work will receive an extra recompense. My head aches at the thought of the bookkeeping, but Percy waves that aside as a mere bagatelle. It is to be accomplished by our prize arithmeticians, and will train them for positions of trust. If Jervis hears of any opening for bank officials, let me know; I shall have a well-trained president, cashier, and paying teller ready to be placed by this time next year.
I have to say that our Percy is doing some really good work in this asylum. He has set up the John Grier Bank and has figured out all the details in a way that’s very professional and businesslike, totally beyond my non-mathematical understanding. All the older kids have their own printed checkbooks, and they’re each going to receive five dollars a week for their work, like going to school and doing household chores. They will then pay the institution (by check) for their food and clothes, which will use up their five dollars. It seems like a never-ending cycle, but it’s actually very educational; they’ll learn the value of money before we send them out into a money-driven world. Those who do especially well in their studies or work will get extra pay. Just thinking about the bookkeeping gives me a headache, but Percy brushes that off as a trivial matter. It will be handled by our top math students, and will prepare them for responsible jobs. If Jervis hears of any openings for bank officials, let me know; I’ll have a well-trained president, cashier, and paying teller ready to go by this time next year.
Saturday.
Saturday.
Our doctor doesn't like to be called "Enemy." It hurts his feelings or his dignity or something of the sort. But since I will persist, despite his expostulations, he has finally retaliated with a nickname for me. He calls me "Miss Sally Lunn," and is in a glow of pride at having achieved such an imaginative flight.
Our doctor doesn't like being called "Enemy." It hurts his feelings or his pride or something like that. But since I'm going to keep at it, despite his protests, he has eventually come back with a nickname for me. He calls me "Miss Sally Lunn" and is all proud of himself for being so creative.
He and I have invented a new pastime: he talks Scotch, and I answer in Irish. Our conversations run like this:
He and I have come up with a new hobby: he speaks in Scottish, and I respond in Irish. Our chats go like this:
"Good afthernoon to ye, docther. An' how's yer health the day?"
"Good afternoon to you, doctor. And how's your health today?"
"Verra weel, verra weel. And how gas it wi' a' the bairns?"
"Very well, very well. And how are all the kids doing?"
"Shure, they're all av thim doin' foin."
"Sure, they're all of them doing fine."
"I'm gey glad to hear it. This saft weather is hard on folk. There's muckle sickness aboot the kintra."
"I'm really glad to hear that. This mild weather is tough on people. There's a lot of sickness around the country."
"Hiven be praised it has not lighted here! But sit down, docther, an' make yersilf at home. Will ye be afther havin' a cup o' tay?"
"Hallelujah, it hasn't landed here! But sit down, doctor, and make yourself at home. Would you like to have a cup of tea?"
"Hoot, woman! I would na hae you fash yoursel', but a wee drap tea winna coom amiss."
"Hoot, woman! I wouldn't want you to trouble yourself, but a little cup of tea wouldn't hurt."
"Whist! It's no thruble at all."
"Shh! It's no trouble at all."
You may not think this a very dizzying excursion into frivolity; but I assure you, for one of Sandy's dignity, it's positively riotous. The man has been in a heavenly temper ever since I came back; not a single cross word. I am beginning to think I may reform him as well as Punch.
You might not see this as a wild trip into silliness, but I promise you, for someone as serious as Sandy, it's absolutely outrageous. He’s been in a great mood ever since I returned; not a single harsh word. I’m starting to believe I could change him just like I did with Punch.
This letter must be about long enough even for you. I've been writing it bit by bit for three days, whenever I happened to pass my desk.
This letter must be long enough for you. I've been writing it little by little for three days, whenever I walked by my desk.
Yours as ever,
Yours always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. I don't think much of your vaunted prescription for hair tonic. Either the druggist didn't mix it right, or Jane didn't apply it with discretion. I stuck to the pillow this morning.
P.S. I don't have a high opinion of your so-called hair tonic. Either the pharmacist messed up the mixture, or Jane didn’t apply it properly. I stayed in bed all morning.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Saturday.
Saturday.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
Your letter of Thursday is at hand, and extremely silly I consider it. Of course I am not trying to let you down easy; that isn't my way. If I let you down at all, it will be suddenly and with an awful bump. But I honestly didn't realize that it had been three weeks since I wrote. Please excuse!
Your letter from Thursday has arrived, and I think it’s really silly. I’m not trying to be gentle about it; that’s not how I roll. If I do let you down, it’ll be sudden and with a big thud. But honestly, I didn’t realize it had been three weeks since I wrote. Please forgive me!
Also, my dear sir, I have to bring you to account. You were in New York last week, and you never ran up to see us. You thought we wouldn't find it out, but we heard—and are insulted.
Also, my dear sir, I have to hold you accountable. You were in New York last week, and you never came by to see us. You thought we wouldn't discover it, but we did—and we're offended.
Would you like an outline of my day's activities? Wrote monthly report for trustees' meeting. Audited accounts. Entertained agent of State Charities Aid Association for luncheon. Supervised children's menus for next ten days. Dictated five letters to families who have our children. Visited our little feeble-minded Loretta Higgins (pardon the reference; I know you don't like me to mention the feeble-minded), who is being boarded out in a nice comfortable family, where she is learning to work. Came back to tea and a conference with the doctor about sending a child with tubercular glands to a sanatorium. Read an article on cottage VERSUS congregate system for housing dependent children. (We do need cottages! I wish you'd send us a few for a Christmas present.) And now at nine o'clock I'm sleepily beginning a letter to you. Do you know many young society girls who can point to such a useful day as that?
Would you like an outline of my day's activities? I wrote the monthly report for the trustees' meeting. I audited the accounts. I had lunch with an agent from the State Charities Aid Association. I oversaw the children's menus for the next ten days. I dictated five letters to families who have our children. I visited our little feeble-minded Loretta Higgins (sorry for the reference; I know you don't like me mentioning the feeble-minded), who is being taken care of by a nice, comfortable family, where she is learning to work. I returned for tea and had a conference with the doctor about sending a child with tubercular glands to a sanatorium. I read an article on the cottage vs. congregate system for housing dependent children. (We really need cottages! I wish you'd send us a few for a Christmas gift.) And now at nine o'clock, I'm sleepily starting a letter to you. Do you know many young society girls who can say they've had such a useful day?
Oh, I forgot to say that I stole ten minutes from my accounts this morning to install a new cook. Our Sallie Washington-Johnston, who cooked fit for the angels had a dreadful, dreadful temper and terrorized poor Noah, our super-excellent furnace man, to the point of giving notice. We couldn't spare Noah. He's more useful to the institution than its superintendent, and so Sallie Washington-Johnston is no more.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I took ten minutes from my schedule this morning to hire a new cook. Our Sallie Washington-Johnston, who cooked like an angel, had an awful temper and terrified poor Noah, our fantastic furnace guy, to the point where he almost quit. We can't afford to lose Noah. He's more valuable to the organization than the superintendent, so Sallie Washington-Johnston is out.
When I asked the new cook her name, she replied, "Ma name is Suzanne Estelle, but ma friends call me Pet." Pet cooked the dinner tonight, but I must say that she lacks Sallie's delicate touch. I am awfully disappointed that you didn't visit us while Sallie was still here. You would have taken away an exalted opinion of my housekeeping.
When I asked the new cook her name, she replied, "My name is Suzanne Estelle, but my friends call me Pet." Pet cooked dinner tonight, but I have to say that she doesn't have Sallie's delicate touch. I'm really disappointed that you didn't come to visit while Sallie was still here. You would have left with a much better impression of my housekeeping.
Drowsiness overcame me at that point, and it's now two days later.
Drowsiness took over me at that moment, and now it's two days later.
Poor neglected Gordon! It has just occurred to me that you never got thanked for the modeling clay which came two weeks ago, and it was such an unusually intelligent present that I should have telegraphed my appreciation. When I opened the box and saw all that nice messy putty stuff, I sat down on the spot and created a statue of Singapore. The children love it; and it is very good to have the handicraft side of their training encouraged.
Poor neglected Gordon! I just realized that you never got thanked for the modeling clay that arrived two weeks ago, and it was such a clever gift that I should have sent a thank-you message. When I opened the box and saw all that nice messy clay, I sat down right away and made a statue of Singapore. The kids love it, and it's great to have the crafting side of their training supported.
After a careful study of American history, I have determined that nothing is so valuable to a future president as an early obligatory unescapable performance of CHORES.
After studying American history closely, I've decided that nothing is more valuable to a future president than doing chores early and without escape.
Therefore I have divided the daily work of this institution into a hundred parcels, and the children rotate weekly through a succession of unaccustomed tasks. Of course they do everything badly, for just as they learn how, they progress to something new. It would be infinitely easier for us to follow Mrs. Lippett's immoral custom of keeping each child sentenced for life to a well-learned routine; but when the temptation assails me, I recall the dreary picture of Florence Henty, who polished the brass doorknobs of this institution for seven years—and I sternly shove the children on.
So, I've broken down the daily work of this place into a hundred different tasks, and the kids switch roles each week to try new things. They obviously aren’t great at it, since just as they start to get the hang of one task, they move on to another. It would be way easier for us to follow Mrs. Lippett's wrong approach of having each child stuck in a routine for life; but whenever I'm tempted, I think about the sad picture of Florence Henty, who spent seven years polishing the brass doorknobs here—and I push the kids forward.
I get angry every time I think of Mrs Lippett. She had exactly the point of view of a Tammany politician—no slightest sense of service to society. Her only interest in the John Grier Home was to get a living out of it.
I get angry every time I think of Mrs. Lippett. She had the same mindset as a Tammany politician—absolutely no sense of serving the community. Her only interest in the John Grier Home was to make a living off of it.
Wednesday.
Wednesday.
What new branch of learning do you think I have introduced into my asylum? Table manners!
What new area of study do you think I’ve brought into my institution? Table manners!
I never had any idea that it was such a lot of trouble to teach children how to eat and drink. Their favorite method is to put their mouths down to their mugs and lap their milk like kittens. Good manners are not merely snobbish ornaments, as Mrs. Lippett's regime appeared to believe. They mean self-discipline and thought for others, and my children have got to learn them.
I had no idea it was such a hassle to teach kids how to eat and drink. Their favorite way is to bend down to their mugs and lap up their milk like kittens. Good manners aren't just fancy additions, as Mrs. Lippett seemed to think. They require self-discipline and consideration for others, and my kids need to learn that.
That woman never allowed them to talk at their meals, and I am having the most dreadful time getting any conversation out of them above a frightened whisper. So I have instituted the custom of the entire staff, myself included, sitting with them at the table, and directing the talk along cheerful and improving lines.
That woman never let them talk during meals, and I’m having the hardest time getting any conversation out of them beyond a scared whisper. So, I’ve started a new routine where the whole staff, including me, sits with them at the table and guides the conversation toward cheerful and uplifting topics.
Also I have established a small, very strict training table, where the little dears, in relays, undergo a week of steady badgering. Our uplifting table conversations run like this:
Also, I've set up a small, very strict training schedule where the little ones, in shifts, go through a week of constant encouragement. Our inspiring table conversations go like this:
"Yes, Tom, Napoleon Bonaparte was a very great man—elbows off the table. He possessed a tremendous power of concentrating his mind on whatever he wanted to have; and that is the way to accomplish—don't snatch, Susan; ask politely for the bread, and Carrie will pass it to you.—But he was an example of the fact that selfish thought just for oneself, without considering the lives of others, will come to disaster in the—Tom! Keep your mouth shut when you chew—and after the battle of Waterloo—let Sadie's cooky alone—his fall was all the greater because—Sadie Kate, you may leave the table. It makes no difference what he did. Under no provocation does a lady slap a gentleman."
"Yeah, Tom, Napoleon Bonaparte was a really great man—elbows off the table. He had an incredible ability to focus his mind on whatever he wanted to achieve; and that’s how you get things done—don’t grab, Susan; just ask nicely for the bread, and Carrie will pass it to you.—But he showed that being selfish and only thinking of yourself, without considering others’ lives, leads to disaster—Tom! Close your mouth when you chew—and after the battle of Waterloo—leave Sadie's cookie alone—his downfall was even greater because—Sadie Kate, you can leave the table. It doesn’t matter what he did. No lady should ever slap a gentleman, no matter what."
Two more days have passed; this is the same kind of meandering letter I write to Judy. At least, my dear man, you can't complain that I haven't been thinking about you this week! I know you hate to be told all about the asylum, but I can't help it, for it's all I know. I don't have five minutes a day to read the papers. The big outside world has dropped away. My interests all lie on the inside of this little iron inclosure.
Two more days have gone by; this is the same kind of rambling letter I write to Judy. At least, my dear man, you can’t say I haven’t been thinking about you this week! I know you don’t want to hear all about the asylum, but I can’t help it because it's all I know. I barely have five minutes a day to read the news. The big outside world feels like it has vanished. My interests are all focused on the inside of this little iron enclosure.
I am at present,
I am currently,
S. McBRIDE,
S. McBRIDE,
Superintendent of the
School District Superintendent
John Grier Home.
John Grier Home.
Thursday.
Thursday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
"Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in." Hasn't that a very philosophical, detached, Lord of the Universe sound? It comes from Thoreau, whom I am assiduously reading at present. As you see, I have revolted against your literature and taken to my own again. The last two evenings have been devoted to "Walden," a book as far removed as possible from the problems of the dependent child.
"Time is just the stream I'm fishing in." Doesn't that sound very philosophical and detached, like something a Lord of the Universe would say? It comes from Thoreau, who I’m currently reading carefully. As you can see, I've turned away from your literature and returned to my own. The last two evenings have been spent on "Walden," a book that's as far removed as possible from the issues of the dependent child.
Did you ever read old Henry David Thoreau? You really ought. I think you'd find him a congenial soul. Listen to this: "Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. It would be better if there were but one habitation to a square mile, as where I live." A pleasant, expansive, neebor-like man he must have been! He minds me in some ways o' Sandy.
Did you ever read Henry David Thoreau? You really should. I think you'd find him a kindred spirit. Listen to this: "Society is often too cheap. We meet so frequently that we haven’t had the time to gain any new value for each other. It would be better if there were only one house per square mile, like where I live." He must have been a pleasant, open-minded, neighborly guy! He reminds me in some ways of Sandy.
This is to tell you that we have a placing-out agent visiting us. She is about to dispose of four chicks, one of them Thomas Kehoe. What do you think? Ought we to risk it? The place she has in mind for him is a farm in a no-license portion of Connecticut, where he will work hard for his board, and live in the farmer's family. It sounds exactly the right thing, and we can't keep him here forever; he'll have to be turned out some day into a world full of whisky.
This is to inform you that we have a placement agent coming to visit us. She's about to find homes for four chicks, one of them being Thomas Kehoe. What do you think? Should we take the chance? The place she has in mind for him is a farm in a dry area of Connecticut, where he'll work hard for his keep and live with the farmer's family. It sounds like the perfect fit, and we can’t keep him here forever; he’ll eventually need to face a world full of whiskey.
I'm sorry to tear you away from that cheerful work on "Dementia Precox," but I'd be most obliged if you'd drop in here toward eight o'clock for a conference with the agent.
I'm sorry to pull you away from that upbeat task on "Dementia Precox," but I would really appreciate it if you could stop by here around eight o'clock for a meeting with the agent.
I am, as usual,
I'm, as usual,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
June 17. My dear Judy:
June 17. Dear Judy:
Betsy has perpetrated a most unconscionable trick upon a pair of adopting parents. They have traveled East from Ohio in their touring car for the dual purpose of seeing the country and picking up a daughter. They appear to be the leading citizens of their town, whose name at the moment escapes me; but it's a very important town. It has electric lights and gas, and Mr. Leading Citizen owns the controlling interest in both plants. With a wave of his hand he could plunge that entire town into darkness; but fortunately he's a kind man, and won't do anything so harsh, not even if they fail to reelect him mayor. He lives in a brick house with a slate roof and two towers, and has a deer and fountain and lots of nice shade trees in the yard. (He carries its photograph in his pocket.) They are good-natured, generous, kind-hearted, smiling people, and a little fat; you can see what desirable parents they would make.
Betsy has pulled a really awful trick on a couple of prospective adoptive parents. They drove all the way from Ohio in their car not just to explore the country but also to pick up a daughter. They seem to be prominent members of their town, whose name I can't recall at the moment; but it's a significant place. It has electric lights and gas, and Mr. Prominent Citizen owns the majority of both utilities. With just a flick of his wrist, he could throw the whole town into darkness; thankfully, he’s a nice guy and won’t act so harshly, even if they don't reelect him as mayor. He lives in a brick house with a slate roof and two towers, and there’s a deer statue and a fountain and plenty of nice shade trees in the yard. (He carries a photo of it in his pocket.) They are cheerful, generous, kind-hearted, smiling people, and a bit on the chubby side; you can see how great they would be as parents.
Well, we had exactly the daughter of their dreams, only, as they came without giving us notice, she was dressed in a flannellet nightgown, and her face was dirty. They looked Caroline over, and were not impressed; but they thanked us politely, and said they would bear her in mind. They wanted to visit the New York Orphanage before deciding. We knew well that, if they saw that superior assemblage of children, our poor little Caroline would never have a chance.
Well, we had just the daughter they dreamed of, but since they showed up unannounced, she was wearing a flannel nightgown and her face was dirty. They looked Caroline over and weren’t impressed; but they thanked us politely and said they’d keep her in mind. They wanted to check out the New York Orphanage before making a decision. We knew that if they saw that impressive group of kids, our poor little Caroline would never stand a chance.
Then Betsy rose to the emergency. She graciously invited them to motor over to her house for tea that afternoon and inspect one of our little wards who would be visiting her baby niece. Mr. and Mrs. Leading Citizen do not know many people in the East, and they haven't been receiving the invitations that they feel are their due; so they were quite innocently pleased at the prospect of a little social diversion. The moment they had retired to the hotel for luncheon, Betsy called up her car, and rushed baby Caroline over to her house. She stuffed her into baby niece's best pink-and-white embroidered frock, borrowed a hat of Irish lace, some pink socks and white slippers, and set her picturesquely upon the green lawn under a spreading beech tree. A white-aproned nurse (borrowed also from baby niece) plied her with bread and milk and gaily colored toys. By the time prospective parents arrived, our Caroline, full of food and contentment, greeted them with cooes of delight. From the moment their eyes fell upon her they were ravished with desire. Not a suspicion crossed their unobservant minds that this sweet little rosebud was the child of the morning. And so, a few formalities having been complied with, it really looks as though baby Caroline would live in the Towers and grow into a leading citizen.
Then Betsy stepped up to the occasion. She kindly invited them to drive over to her house for tea that afternoon and to meet one of our little wards who would be visiting her baby niece. Mr. and Mrs. Leading Citizen don't know many people in the East, and they haven't been getting the invitations they feel they deserve, so they were quite genuinely pleased at the thought of some social interaction. As soon as they went back to the hotel for lunch, Betsy called for her car and rushed baby Caroline over to her house. She dressed her in the baby niece's best pink-and-white embroidered dress, borrowed a lace hat, some pink socks, and white slippers, and set her cutely on the green lawn under a big beech tree. A nurse in a white apron (also borrowed from the baby niece) fed her bread and milk and gave her colorful toys to play with. By the time the prospective parents arrived, our Caroline, full and happy, greeted them with coos of delight. The moment they saw her, they were completely taken in. Not a single thought crossed their oblivious minds that this sweet little flower was the child from that morning. And so, after completing a few formalities, it really seems like baby Caroline will be living in the Towers and growing into a leading citizen.
I must really get to work, without any further delay, upon the burning question of new clothes for our girls.
I really need to get started right away on the urgent issue of new clothes for our girls.
With the highest esteem, I am, D'r Ma'am, Y'r most ob'd't and h'mble serv't,
With the greatest respect, I am, Dear Ma'am, Your most obedient and humble servant,
SAL. McBRIDE.
SAL. McBRIDE.
June 19th. My dearest Judy:
June 19. My dearest Judy:
Listen to the grandest innovation of all, and one that will delight your heart.
Listen to the greatest innovation of all, one that will warm your heart.
NO MORE BLUE GINGHAM!
NO MORE BLUE CHECKERED!
Feeling that this aristocratic neighborhood of country estates might contain valuable food for our asylum, I have of late been moving in the village social circles, and at a luncheon yesterday I dug out a beautiful and charming widow who wears delectable, flowing gowns that she designs herself. She confided to me that she would have loved to have been a dressmaker, if she had only been born with a needle in her mouth instead of a golden spoon. She says she never sees a pretty girl badly dressed but she longs to take her in hand and make her over. Did you ever hear anything so apropos? From the moment she opened her lips she was a marked man.
Feeling that this upscale neighborhood of country estates might provide valuable resources for our asylum, I’ve recently been getting involved in the village social scene. At a luncheon yesterday, I met a beautiful and charming widow who designs her own lovely, flowing gowns. She shared with me that she would have loved to be a dressmaker if she had been born with a needle in her mouth instead of a silver spoon. She mentioned that whenever she sees a pretty girl poorly dressed, she longs to take her under her wing and give her a makeover. Have you ever heard anything so fitting? From the moment she spoke, she was clearly someone special.
"I can show you fifty-nine badly dressed girls," said I to her, "and you have got to come back with me and plan their new clothes and make them beautiful."
"I can show you fifty-nine badly dressed girls," I said to her, "and you have to come back with me to design their new clothes and make them beautiful."
She expostulated; but in vain. I led her out to her automobile, shoved her in, and murmured, "John Grier Home" to the chauffeur. The first inmate our eyes fell upon was Sadie Kate, just fresh, I judge, from hugging the molasses barrel; and a shocking spectacle she was for any esthetically minded person. In addition to the stickiness, one stocking was coming down, her pinafore was buttoned crookedly, and she had lost a hair-ribbon. But—as always—completely at ease, she welcomed us with a cheery grin, and offered the lady a sticky paw.
She protested, but it was no use. I led her to her car, pushed her inside, and said, "John Grier Home" to the driver. The first person we saw was Sadie Kate, probably just back from messing around with the molasses barrel; and she was quite a sight for anyone with an eye for aesthetics. Besides being sticky, one of her stockings was falling down, her apron was buttoned lopsided, and she had lost a hair ribbon. But—as always—completely relaxed, she greeted us with a big smile and extended a sticky hand to the lady.
"Now," said I, in triumph, "you see how much we need you. What can you do to make Sadie Kate beautiful?"
"Now," I said, feeling proud, "you can see how much we need you. What can you do to make Sadie Kate beautiful?"
"Wash her," said Mrs. Livermore.
"Clean her," said Mrs. Livermore.
Sadie Kate was marched to my bathroom. When the scrubbing was finished and the hair strained back and the stocking restored to seemly heights, I returned her for a second inspection—a perfectly normal little orphan. Mrs. Livermore turned her from side to side, and studied her long and earnestly.
Sadie Kate was taken to my bathroom. When the scrubbing was done and her hair was pulled back and her stockings were adjusted to decent lengths, I brought her back for a second look—a completely ordinary little orphan. Mrs. Livermore turned her from side to side and examined her closely and thoughtfully.
Sadie Kate by nature is a beauty, a wild, dark, Gypsyish little colleen. She looks fresh from the wind-swept moors of Connemara. But, oh, we have managed to rob her of her birthright with this awful institution uniform!
Sadie Kate is naturally beautiful, a wild, dark, Gypsy-like girl. She looks like she just came from the wind-swept moors of Connemara. But, oh, we have managed to take away her birthright with this awful school uniform!
After five minutes' silent contemplation, Mrs. Livermore raised her eyes to mine.
After five minutes of quiet reflection, Mrs. Livermore looked up at me.
"Yes, my dear, you need me."
"Yes, my dear, you really need me."
And then and there we formed our plans. She is to head the committee on C L O T H E S. She is to choose three friends to help her. And they, with the two dozen best sewers among the girls and our sewing-teacher and five sewing machines, are going to make over the looks of this institution. And the charity is all on our side. We are supplying Mrs. Livermore with the profession that Providence robbed her of. Wasn't it clever of me to find her? I woke this morning at dawn and crowed!
And right then and there, we made our plans. She's going to lead the committee on CLOTHES. She's going to pick three friends to assist her. Together with the two dozen best seamstresses among the girls, our sewing teacher, and five sewing machines, they'll transform the appearance of this place. Plus, we have charity on our side. We're providing Mrs. Livermore with the career that fate took away from her. Wasn't it smart of me to discover her? I woke up at dawn this morning and felt like celebrating!
Lots more news,—I could run into a second volume,—but I am going to send this letter to town by Mr. Witherspoon, who, in a very high collar and the blackest of evening clothes, is on the point of departure for a barn dance at the country club. I told him to pick out the nicest girls he danced with to come and tell stories to my children.
Lots more news—I could fill a second volume—but I’m going to send this letter to town with Mr. Witherspoon, who, dressed in a very high collar and his fanciest black evening clothes, is about to leave for a barn dance at the country club. I asked him to choose the nicest girls he dances with to come and share stories with my children.
It is dreadful, the scheming person I am getting to be. All the time I am talking to any one, I am silently thinking, "What use can you be to my asylum?"
It’s awful, the manipulative person I’m becoming. Whenever I’m talking to anyone, I’m secretly wondering, “How can you help me with my goals?”
There is grave danger that this present superintendent will become so interested in her job that she will never want to leave. I sometimes picture her a white-haired old lady, propelled about the building in a wheeled chair, but still tenaciously superintending her fourth generation of orphans.
There’s a serious risk that the current superintendent will get so absorbed in her job that she’ll never want to leave. Sometimes, I imagine her as an old lady with white hair, moving around the building in a wheelchair, yet still stubbornly overseeing her fourth generation of orphans.
PLEASE discharge her before that day!
PLEASE discharge her before that day!
Yours,
Best regards,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Friday.
Friday.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Yesterday morning, without the slightest warning, a station hack drove up to the door and disgorged upon the steps two men, two little boys, a baby girl, a rocking horse, and a Teddy bear, and then drove off!
Yesterday morning, without any warning, a taxi pulled up to the door and dropped off two men, two little boys, a baby girl, a rocking horse, and a Teddy bear, and then drove away!
The men were artists, and the little ones were children of another artist, dead three weeks ago. They had brought the mites to us because they thought "John Grier" sounded solid and respectable, and not like a public institution. It had never entered their unbusinesslike heads that any formality is necessary about placing a child in an asylum.
The men were artists, and the little ones were kids of another artist, who had passed away three weeks ago. They brought the kids to us because they thought "John Grier" sounded reliable and respectable, not like a public institution. They never considered that any formalities were needed for putting a child in a group home.
I explained that we were full, but they seemed so stranded and aghast, that I told them to sit down while I advised them what to do. So the chicks were sent to the nursery, with a recommendation of bread and milk, while I listened to their history. Those artists had a fatally literary touch, or maybe it was just the sound of the baby girl's laugh, but, anyway, before they had finished, the babes were ours.
I explained that we were full, but they looked so lost and shocked that I told them to sit down while I figured out what to do. So the kids were sent to the nursery, with a suggestion of bread and milk, while I listened to their story. Those artists had a dangerously literary vibe, or maybe it was just the sound of the baby girl's laugh, but either way, by the time they were done, the kids were ours.
Never have I seen a sunnier creature than the little Allegra (we don't often get such fancy names or such fancy children). She is three years old, is lisping funny baby talk and bubbling with laughter. The tragedy she has just emerged from has never touched her. But Don and Clifford, sturdy little lads of five and seven, are already solemn-eyed and frightened at the hardness of life.
Never have I seen a brighter little creature than Allegra (we don’t often get such fancy names or such fancy kids). She’s three years old, lisping with funny baby talk and bursting with laughter. The tragedy she just came out of hasn’t affected her at all. But Don and Clifford, tough little guys of five and seven, already have serious expressions and are scared by how tough life can be.
Their mother was a kindergarten teacher who married an artist on a capital of enthusiasm and a few tubes of paint. His friends say that he had talent, but of course he had to throw it away to pay the milkman. They lived in a haphazard fashion in a rickety old studio, cooking behind screens, the babies sleeping on shelves.
Their mom was a kindergarten teacher who married an artist with just a lot of enthusiasm and a few tubes of paint. His friends say he had talent, but of course, he had to give it up to pay the milkman. They lived in a chaotic way in a rundown old studio, cooking behind screens, with the babies sleeping on shelves.
But there seems to have been a very happy side to it—a great deal of love and many friends, all more or less poor, but artistic and congenial and high-thinking. The little lads, in their gentleness and fineness, show that phase of their upbringing. They have an air which many of my children, despite all the good manners I can pour into them, will forever lack.
But there seems to have been a really happy side to it—a lot of love and many friends, all somewhat poor, but artistic, like-minded, and thoughtful. The little boys, with their kindness and refinement, reflect that aspect of their upbringing. They have a vibe that many of my children, no matter how much good manners I try to instill in them, will always be missing.
The mother died in the hospital a few days after Allegra's birth, and the father struggled on for two years, caring for his brood and painting like mad—advertisements, anything—to keep a roof over their heads.
The mother passed away in the hospital a few days after Allegra was born, and the father managed for two years, looking after his kids and painting like crazy—advertisements, anything—to ensure they had a home.
He died in St. Vincent's three weeks ago,—overwork, worry, pneumonia. His friends rallied about the babies, sold such of the studio fittings as had escaped pawning, paid off the debts, and looked about for the best asylum they could find. And, Heaven save them! they hit upon us!
He passed away at St. Vincent's three weeks ago—due to overwork, stress, and pneumonia. His friends gathered around the kids, sold whatever studio equipment they could salvage from being pawned, paid off the debts, and searched for the best shelter they could find. And, God help them! they chose us!
Well, I kept the two artists for luncheon,—nice creatures in soft hats and Windsor ties, and looking pretty frayed themselves,—and then started them back to New York with the promise that I would give the little family my most parental attention.
Well, I had the two artists over for lunch—nice guys in soft hats and Windsor ties, and looking a bit worn themselves—and then sent them back to New York with the promise that I would give the little family my full support.
So here they are, one little mite in the nursery, two in the kindergarten room, four big packing cases full of canvases in the cellar, and a trunk in the store room with the letters of their father and mother. And a look in their faces, an intangible spiritual SOMETHING, that is their heritage.
So here they are, one tiny baby in the nursery, two in the kindergarten room, four big packing boxes full of canvases in the basement, and a trunk in the storage room with their parents' letters. And a look in their faces, an intangible spiritual SOMETHING, that is their legacy.
I can't get them out of my mind. All night long I was planning their future. The boys are easy. They have already been graduated from college, Mr. Pendleton assisting, and are pursuing honorable business careers. But Allegra I don't know about; I can't think what to wish for the child. Of course the normal thing to wish for any sweet little girl is that two kind foster parents will come along to take the place of the real parents that Fate has robbed her of. But in this case it would be cruel to steal her away from her brothers. Their love for the baby is pitiful. You see, they have brought her up. The only time I ever hear them laugh is when she has done something funny.
I can't stop thinking about them. All night, I was planning their future. The boys are fine; they've already graduated from college with Mr. Pendleton's help and are building respectable careers. But Allegra is a different story; I can't figure out what to hope for her. Normally, you'd wish that two loving foster parents would come along to fill the gap left by the parents Fate took from her. But in this situation, it would be harsh to separate her from her brothers. Their love for her is heartbreaking. They’re the ones who have raised her. The only time I ever hear them laugh is when she does something funny.
The poor little fellows miss their father horribly. I found Don, the five-year-old one, sobbing in his crib last night because he couldn't say good night to "daddy."
The poor little guys really miss their dad. I found Don, the five-year-old, crying in his crib last night because he couldn't say goodnight to "daddy."
But Allegra is true to her name, the happiest young miss of three I have ever seen. The poor father managed well by her, and she, little ingrate, has already forgotten that she has lost him.
But Allegra is true to her name, the happiest young girl of three I have ever seen. The poor father took good care of her, and she, little ingrate, has already forgotten that she has lost him.
Whatever can I do with these little ones? I think and think and think about them. I can't place them out, and it does seem too awful to bring them up here; for as good as we are going to be when we get ourselves made over, still, after all, we are an institution, and our inmates are just little incubator chicks. They don't get the individual, fussy care that only an old hen can give.
What am I supposed to do with these little ones? I keep thinking and thinking about them. I can't put them outside, and it feels too terrible to bring them up here; no matter how much better we plan to be once we change things, we're still an institution, and our residents are just little incubator chicks. They aren't getting the individual, tender care that only a mother hen can provide.
There is a lot of interesting news that I might have been telling you, but my new little family has driven everything out of my mind.
There’s a lot of interesting news I could be sharing with you, but my new little family has completely taken over my thoughts.
Bairns are certain joy, but nae sma' care.
Kids are pure joy, but they come with no small amount of trouble.
Yours ever,
Yours always,
SALLIE. P.S. Don't forget that you are coming to visit me next week.
SALLIE. P.S. Don't forget that you're visiting me next week.
P.S. II. The doctor, who is ordinarily so scientific and unsentimental, has fallen in love with Allegra. He didn't so much as glance at her tonsils; he simply picked her up in his arms and hugged her. Oh, she is a little witch! Whatever is to become of her?
P.S. II. The doctor, who is usually so rational and unemotional, has fallen for Allegra. He didn't even check her tonsils; he just picked her up in his arms and hugged her. Oh, she is such a little troublemaker! What will happen to her?
June 22. My dear Judy:
June 22. Dear Judy:
I may report that you need no longer worry as to our inadequate fire protection. The doctor and Mr. Witherspoon have been giving the matter their gravest attention, and no game yet devised has proved so entertaining and destructive as our fire drill.
I can tell you that you don't need to worry anymore about our lack of fire protection. The doctor and Mr. Witherspoon have been taking this matter very seriously, and no game ever made has been as fun and chaotic as our fire drill.
The children all retire to their beds and plunge into alert slumber. Fire alarm sounds. They spring up and into their shoes, snatch the top blanket from their beds, wrap it around their imaginary nightclothes, fall into line, and trot to the hall and stairs.
The kids all head to bed and quickly fall into a deep sleep. The fire alarm goes off. They jump up, put on their shoes, grab the top blanket from their beds, wrap it around their pajamas, line up, and head to the hallway and stairs.
Our seventeen little tots in the nursery are each in charge of an Indian, and are bundled out, shrieking with delight. The remaining Indians, so long as there is no danger of the roof falling, devote themselves to salvage. On the occasion of our first drill, Percy in command, the contents of a dozen clothes lockers were dumped into sheets and hurled out of the windows. I usurped dictatorship just in time to keep the pillows and mattresses from following. We spent hours resorting those clothes, while Percy and the doctor, having lost all interest strolled up to the camp with their pipes.
Our seventeen little kids in the nursery each have an Indian to take care of, and they’re all bundled up, squealing with excitement. The other Indians, as long as there's no risk of the roof collapsing, focus on salvaging things. During our first drill, with Percy in charge, we dumped the contents of a dozen clothing lockers into sheets and tossed them out the windows. I took control just in time to prevent the pillows and mattresses from going out too. We spent hours sorting through the clothes, while Percy and the doctor, having lost all interest, wandered off to the camp with their pipes.
Our future drills are to be a touch less realistic. However, I am pleased to tell you that, under the able direction of Fire Chief Witherspoon, we emptied the building in six minutes and twenty-eight seconds.
Our future drills will be a bit less realistic. However, I'm happy to inform you that, under the skilled leadership of Fire Chief Witherspoon, we evacuated the building in six minutes and twenty-eight seconds.
That baby Allegra has fairy blood in her veins. Never did this institution harbor such a child, barring one that Jervis and I know of. She has completely subjugated the doctor. Instead of going about his visits like a sober medical man, he comes down to my library hand in hand with Allegra, and for half an hour at a time crawls about on a rug, pretending he's a horse, while the bonnie wee lassie sits on his back and kicks. You know, I am thinking of putting a card in the paper:
That baby Allegra has fairy blood in her veins. This place has never seen a child like her, except for one that Jervis and I know about. She has totally captivated the doctor. Instead of making his rounds like a serious doctor, he comes down to my library holding hands with Allegra, and for half an hour at a time, he's crawling around on a rug, pretending to be a horse, while the cute little girl sits on his back and kicks. You know, I’m thinking of putting an ad in the paper:
Characters neatly remodeled. S. McBride.
Characters neatly redesigned. S. McBride.
Sandy dropped in two nights ago to have a bit of conversation with Betsy and me, and he was FRIVOLOUS. He made three jokes, and he sat down at the piano and sang some old Scotch, "My luve's like a red, red rose," and "Come under my plaidie," and "Wha's at the window? Wha? Wha?" not in the least educational, and then danced a few steps of the strathspey!
Sandy stopped by two nights ago to chat with Betsy and me, and he was being really silly. He cracked three jokes, sat down at the piano, and sang some old Scottish songs like "My love's like a red, red rose," "Come under my plaidie," and "Who's at the window? Who? Who?" Not exactly educational, and then he even danced a few steps of the strathspey!
I sat and beamed upon my handiwork, for it's true, I've done it all through my frivolous example and the books I've given him and the introducing of such lightsome companions as Jimmie and Percy and Gordon Hallock. If I have a few more months in which to work, I shall get the man human. He has given up purple ties, and at my tactful suggestion has adopted a suit of gray. You have no idea how it sets him off. He will be quite distinguished looking as soon as I can make him stop carrying bulgy things in his pockets.
I sat there, proud of what I had accomplished because it’s true, I’ve shaped him through my lighthearted example, the books I’ve given him, and by introducing him to fun friends like Jimmie, Percy, and Gordon Hallock. If I have a few more months to work with him, I’ll turn him into a genuinely human being. He has ditched the purple ties and, at my subtle suggestion, switched to a gray suit. You have no idea how much it suits him. He’ll look really distinguished as soon as I can make him stop carrying bulging things in his pockets.
Good-by; and remember that we're expecting you on Friday.
Goodbye, and remember that we're looking forward to seeing you on Friday.
SALLIE.
SALLIE.
P.S. Here is a picture of Allegra, taken by Mr. Witherspoon. Isn't she a love? Her present clothes do not enhance her beauty, but in the course of a few weeks she will move into a pink smocked frock.
P.S. Here’s a picture of Allegra, taken by Mr. Witherspoon. Isn’t she adorable? Her current outfit doesn’t do her justice, but in a few weeks, she’ll be wearing a cute pink smocked dress.
Wednesday, June 24, 10 A.M. MRS. JERVIS PENDLETON.
Wednesday, June 24, 10 A.M. MRS. JERVIS PENDLETON.
Madam:
Ma'am:
Your letter is at hand, stating that you cannot visit me on Friday per promise, because your husband has business that keeps him in town. What clishmaclaver is this! Has it come to such a pass that you can't leave him for two days?
Your letter has arrived, saying that you can't visit me on Friday as promised because your husband has work that keeps him in town. What nonsense is this! Has it really come to the point where you can't leave him for two days?
I did not let 113 babies interfere with my visit to you, and I see no reason why you should let one husband interfere with your visit to me. I shall meet the Berkshire express on Friday as agreed. S. McBRIDE.
I didn't let 113 babies get in the way of my visit to you, so I don't see why you should let one husband disrupt your visit to me. I'll meet the Berkshire express on Friday as planned. S. McBRIDE.
June 30. My dear Judy:
June 30. Dear Judy:
That was a very flying visit you paid us; but for all small favors we are grateful. I am awfully pleased that you were so delighted with the way things are going, and I can't wait for Jervis and the architect to get up here and really begin a fundamental ripping-up.
That was a really quick visit you made; but we appreciate all the little favors. I'm really glad that you were so pleased with how things are progressing, and I can't wait for Jervis and the architect to come up here and really start making some big changes.
You know, I had the queerest feeling all the time that you were here. I can't make it seem true that you, my dear, wonderful Judy, were actually brought up in this institution, and know from the bitter inside what these little tots need. Sometimes the tragedy of your childhood fills me with an anger that makes me want to roll up my sleeves and fight the whole world and force it into making itself over into a place more fit for children to live in. That Scotch-Irish ancestry of mine seems to have deposited a tremendous amount of FIGHT in my character.
You know, I always had the strangest feeling that you were here. I can't believe that you, my dear, amazing Judy, actually grew up in this place and truly understand what these little kids need. Sometimes, the tragedy of your childhood makes me feel so angry that I want to roll up my sleeves and take on the whole world, pushing it to become a better place for children to live in. That Scotch-Irish background of mine seems to have given me a lot of FIGHT in my personality.
If you had started me with a modern asylum, equipped with nice, clean, hygienic cottages and everything in running order, I couldn't have stood the monotony of its perfect clockwork. It's the sight of so many things crying to be done that makes it possible for me to stay. Sometimes, I must confess, I wake up in the morning and listen to these institution noises, and sniff this institution air, and long for the happy, carefree life that by rights is mine.
If you had placed me in a modern asylum, with nice, clean, hygienic cottages and everything running smoothly, I wouldn’t have been able to handle the boredom of its perfect routine. It’s seeing all the things that need to be done that allows me to stick around. Sometimes, I have to admit, I wake up in the morning, listen to the sounds of the institution, breathe in this institutional air, and wish for the happy, carefree life that should be mine.
You my dear witch, cast a spell over me, and I came. But often in the night watches your spell wears thin, and I start the day with the burning decision to run away from the John Grier Home. But I postpone starting until after breakfast. And as I issue into the corridor, one of these pathetic tots runs to meet me, and shyly slips a warm, crumpled little fist into my hand, and looks up with wide baby eyes, mutely asking for a little petting, and I snatch him up and hug him. And then, as I look over his shoulder at the other forlorn little mites, I long to take all 113 into my arms and love them into happiness. There is something hypnotic about this working with children. Struggle as you may, it gets you in the end.
You, my dear witch, cast a spell on me, and I came. But often during the night, your spell starts to fade, and I wake up with a strong urge to run away from the John Grier Home. But I put it off until after breakfast. As I step into the hallway, one of those sad little kids runs up to me, shyly slips a warm, crumpled fist into my hand, and looks up with wide, baby eyes, silently asking for a little affection, and I scoop him up and hug him. Then, as I glance over his shoulder at the other forlorn little ones, I wish I could gather all 113 of them in my arms and love them into happiness. There’s something captivating about working with kids. No matter how much you fight it, it eventually gets to you.
Your visit seems to have left me in a broadly philosophical frame of mind; but I really have one or two bits of news that I might convey. The new frocks are marching along, and, oh, but they are going to be sweet! Mrs. Livermore was entranced with those parti-colored bales of cotton cloth you sent,—you should see our workroom, with it all scattered about,—and when I think of sixty little girls, attired in pink and blue and yellow and lavender, romping upon our lawn of a sunny day, I feel that we should have a supply of smoked eye glasses to offer visitors. Of course you know that some of those brilliant fabrics are going to be very fadeable and impractical. But Mrs. Livermore is as bad as you—she doesn't give a hang. She'll make a second and a third set if necessary. DOWN WITH CHECKED GINGHAM!
Your visit has put me in a pretty philosophical mood; however, I actually have a couple of updates to share. The new dresses are coming along nicely, and wow, they're going to be amazing! Mrs. Livermore was thrilled with those colorful rolls of cotton fabric you sent—you should see our workroom, it’s a mess of material everywhere—and when I picture sixty little girls, dressed in pink, blue, yellow, and lavender, playing on our lawn on a sunny day, I think we should have some sunglasses ready for visitors. Of course, you know some of those bright fabrics are going to fade and be impractical. But Mrs. Livermore is just like you—she doesn’t care at all. She’ll whip up a second and third set if she has to. DOWN WITH CHECKED GINGHAM!
I am glad you liked our doctor. Of course we reserve the right to say anything about him we choose, but our feelings would be awfully hurt if anybody else should make fun of him.
I’m glad you liked our doctor. Of course, we have the right to say whatever we want about him, but we’d be really upset if anyone else made fun of him.
He and I are still superintending each other's reading. Last week he appeared with Herbert Spencer's "System of Synthetic Philosophy" for me to glance at. I gratefully accepted it, and gave him in return the "Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff." Do you remember in college how we used to enrich our daily speech with quotations from Marie? Well, Sandy took her home and read her painstakingly and thoughtfully.
He and I are still keeping an eye on each other's reading. Last week, he showed up with Herbert Spencer's "System of Synthetic Philosophy" for me to check out. I happily accepted it and gave him "The Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff" in return. Do you remember in college how we used to spice up our everyday conversations with quotes from Marie? Well, Sandy took it home and read it diligently and thoughtfully.
"Yes," he acknowledged today when he came to report, "it is a truthful record of a certain kind of morbid, egotistical personality that unfortunately does exist. But I can't understand why you care to read it; for, thank God! Sally Lunn, you and Bash haven't anything in common."
"Yes," he said today when he came to report, "it's an accurate portrayal of a certain kind of morbid, self-absorbed personality that unfortunately does exist. But I don't get why you want to read it; because, thank God! Sally Lunn, you and Bash have nothing in common."
That's the nearest to a compliment he ever came, and I feel extremely flattered. As to poor Marie, he refers to her as "Bash" because he can't pronounce her name, and is too disdainful to try.
That's the closest he ever got to giving a compliment, and I feel really flattered. As for poor Marie, he calls her "Bash" because he can't say her name and is too arrogant to even try.
We have a child here, the daughter of a chorus girl, and she is a conceited, selfish, vain, posing, morbid, lying little minx, but she has eyelashes! Sandy has taken the most violent dislike to that child. And since reading poor Marie's diary, he has found a new comprehensive adjective for summing up all of her distressing qualities. He calls her BASHY, and dismisses her.
We have a girl here, the daughter of a chorus girl, and she is a conceited, selfish, vain, attention-seeking, troubled, deceitful little brat, but she has amazing eyelashes! Sandy has developed a strong dislike for that girl. Since reading poor Marie's diary, he's come up with a new all-encompassing word to describe all her annoying traits. He calls her BASHY and brushes her off.
Good-by and come again.
Goodbye and come back soon.
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. My children show a distressing tendency to draw out their entire bank accounts to buy candy.
P.S. My kids have a concerning habit of emptying their whole bank accounts to buy candy.
Tuesday night. My dear Judy:
Tuesday night. Dear Judy:
What do you think Sandy has done now? He has gone off on a pleasure trip to that psychopathic institution whose head alienist visited us a month or so ago. Did you ever know anything like the man? He is fascinated by insane people, and can't let them alone.
What do you think Sandy has done now? He's off on a pleasure trip to that mental institution whose head psychiatrist visited us about a month ago. Have you ever met anyone like him? He's obsessed with crazy people and can't leave them alone.
When I asked for some parting medical instructions, he replied:
When I asked for some final medical advice, he replied:
"Feed a cowld and hunger a colic and put nae faith in doctors."
"Feed a cold and starve a fever, and don't trust doctors."
With that advice, and a few bottles of cod-liver oil we are left to our own devices. I feel very free and adventurous. Perhaps you had better run up here again, as there's no telling what joyous upheaval I may accomplish when out from under Sandy's dampening influence.
With that advice and a few bottles of cod-liver oil, we're on our own. I feel really free and adventurous. Maybe you should come up here again, since there's no telling what exciting changes I might make without Sandy's stifling influence.
S. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
S. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Friday.
Friday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
Here I stay lashed to the mast, while you run about the country disporting yourself with insane people. And just as I was thinking that I had nicely cured you of this morbid predilection for psychopathic institutions! It's very disappointing. You had seemed almost human of late.
Here I am tied to the mast while you roam around the country having fun with crazy people. Just when I thought I had helped you overcome this unhealthy obsession with mental institutions! It's really frustrating. You had started to seem almost normal lately.
May I ask how long you are intending to stay? You had permission to go for two days, and you've already been away four.
May I ask how long you plan to stay? You were allowed to be away for two days, and you’ve already been gone for four.
Charlie Martin fell out of a cherry tree yesterday and cut his head open, and we were driven to calling in a foreign doctor. Five stitches. Patient doing well. But we don't like to depend on strangers. I wouldn't say a word if you were away on legitimate business, but you know very well that, after associating with melancholics for a week, you will come back home in a dreadful state of gloom, dead sure that humanity is going to the dogs; and upon me will fall the burden of getting you decently cheerful again.
Charlie Martin fell out of a cherry tree yesterday and cut his head open, so we had to call in a foreign doctor. He got five stitches. The patient is doing well. But we really don’t like relying on strangers. I wouldn’t mention it if you were away on legitimate business, but you know that after spending a week with depressed people, you’ll come back home feeling miserable, convinced that humanity is going downhill; and I’ll be left with the task of getting you cheered up again.
Do leave those insane people to their delusions, and come back to the John Grier Home, which needs you.
Do leave those crazy people to their delusions and come back to the John Grier Home, which needs you.
I am most fervent' Your friend and servant, S. McB.
I am very passionate. Your friend and servant, S. McB.
P.S. Don't you admire that poetical ending? It was borrowed from Robert Burns, whose works I am reading assiduously as a compliment to a Scotch friend.
P.S. Don't you love that poetic ending? It was taken from Robert Burns, whose works I'm reading diligently as a tribute to a Scottish friend.
July 6.
July 6th.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
That doctor man is still away. No word; just disappeared into space. I don't know whether he is ever coming back or not, but we seem to be running very happily without him.
That doctor is still gone. No updates; just vanished into thin air. I don’t know if he’s ever coming back, but we seem to be doing just fine without him.
I lunched yesterday CHEZ the two kind ladies who have taken our Punch to their hearts. The young man seems to be very much at home. He took me by the hand, and did the honors of the garden, presenting me with the bluebell of my choice. At luncheon the English butler lifted him into his chair and tied on his bib with as much manner as though he were serving a prince of the blood. The butler has lately come from the household of the Earl of Durham, Punch from a cellar in Houston Street. It was a very uplifting spectacle.
I had lunch yesterday at the two kind ladies' place who have really taken our Punch to heart. The young man seems to fit right in. He took my hand and showed me around the garden, picking out a bluebell for me. At lunch, the English butler lifted him into his chair and tied on his bib with all the flair as if he were serving a prince. The butler recently came from the Earl of Durham's household, while Punch came from a cellar on Houston Street. It was quite an uplifting sight.
My hostesses entertained me afterward with excerpts from their table conversations of the last two weeks. (I wonder the butler hasn't given notice; he looked like a respectable man.) If nothing more comes of it, at least Punch has furnished them with funny stories for the rest of their lives. One of them is even thinking of writing a book. "At least," says she, wiping hysterical tears from her eyes, "we have lived!"
My hostesses entertained me afterward with highlights from their dinner conversations over the last two weeks. (I’m surprised the butler hasn’t quit; he seemed like a decent guy.) Even if nothing else comes from it, at least Punch has provided them with funny stories for the rest of their lives. One of them is even considering writing a book. "At least," she says, wiping away her hysterical tears, "we've truly lived!"
The Hon. Cy dropped in at 6:30 last night, and found me in an evening gown, starting for a dinner at Mrs. Livermore's house. He mildly observed that Mrs. Lippett did not aspire to be a society leader, but saved her energy for her work. You know I'm not vindictive, but I never look at that man without wishing he were at the bottom of the duck pond, securely anchored to a rock.
The Hon. Cy stopped by at 6:30 last night and found me in an evening dress, getting ready for a dinner at Mrs. Livermore's house. He casually mentioned that Mrs. Lippett wasn't trying to be a socialite but instead focused her energy on her work. You know I'm not vengeful, but I can't help wishing that man was at the bottom of the duck pond, safely tied to a rock.
Otherwise he'd pop up and float.
Otherwise he'd show up and drift.
Singapore respectfully salutes you, and is very glad that you can't see him as he now appears. A shocking calamity has befallen his good looks. Some bad child—and I don't think she's a boy—has clipped that poor beastie in spots, until he looks like a mangy, moth-eaten checkerboard. No one can imagine who did it. Sadie Kate is very handy with the scissors, but she is also handy with an alibi! During the time when the clipping presumably occurred, she was occupying a stool in the corner of the schoolroom with her face to the wall, as twenty-eight children can testify. However, it has become Sadie Kate's daily duty to treat those spots with your hair tonic.
Singapore respectfully salutes you and is really glad that you can't see him as he currently looks. A shocking disaster has struck his good looks. Some mischievous child—and I doubt it's a boy—has clipped that poor creature in patches until he resembles a scruffy, moth-eaten checkerboard. No one can figure out who did it. Sadie Kate is quite skilled with scissors, but she's also great at providing alibis! During the time when the trimming likely happened, she was sitting on a stool in the corner of the classroom with her face to the wall, as twenty-eight kids can confirm. However, it has become Sadie Kate's daily task to treat those patches with your hair tonic.
I am, as usual,
I'm, as usual,
SALLIE.
SALLIE.
P.S. This is a recent portrait of the Hon. Cy drawn from life. The man, in some respects, is a fascinating talker; he makes gestures with his nose.
P.S. This is a recent portrait of the Hon. Cy drawn from life. The man, in some ways, is a captivating speaker; he gestures with his nose.
Thursday evening.
Thursday night.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Sandy is back after a ten-days' absence,—no explanations,—and plunged deep into gloom. He resents our amiable efforts to cheer him up, and will have nothing to do with any of us except baby Allegra. He took her to his house for supper tonight and never brought her back until half-past seven, a scandalous hour for a young miss of three. I don't know what to make of our doctor; he grows more incomprehensible every day.
Sandy is back after ten days away—no explanations—and is really down in the dumps. He resents our friendly attempts to cheer him up and won’t engage with any of us except for baby Allegra. He took her to his house for dinner tonight and didn’t bring her back until 7:30, which is a ridiculous hour for a little girl of three. I don’t know what to make of our doctor; he’s becoming more and more mysterious every day.
But Percy, now, is an open-minded, confiding young man. He has just been making a dinner call (he is very punctilious in all social matters), and our entire conversation was devoted to the girl in Detroit. He is lonely and likes to talk about her; and the wonderful things he says! I hope that Miss Detroit is worthy of all this fine affection, but I'm afraid. He fetched out a leather case from the innermost recesses of his waistcoat and, reverently unwrapping two layers of tissue-paper, showed me the photograph of a silly little thing, all eyes and earrings and fuzzy hair. I did my best to appear congratulatory, but my heart shut up out of pity for the poor boy's future.
But Percy is now an open-minded, trusting young man. He just made a dinner visit (he's very particular about social etiquette), and our entire conversation was about the girl in Detroit. He feels lonely and enjoys talking about her; and the amazing things he says! I hope that Miss Detroit deserves all this genuine affection, but I'm worried. He pulled out a leather case from the depths of his waistcoat and, carefully unwrapping two layers of tissue paper, showed me a photo of a silly little girl, with big eyes, earrings, and fuzzy hair. I tried my best to look congratulatory, but my heart felt heavy with pity for the poor boy's future.
Isn't it funny how the nicest men often choose the worst wives, and the nicest women the worst husbands? Their very niceness, I suppose, makes them blind and unsuspicious.
Isn't it funny how the nicest guys often pick the worst wives, and the nicest women end up with the worst husbands? I guess their kindness makes them blind and too trusting.
You know, the most interesting pursuit in the world is studying character. I believe I was meant to be a novelist; people fascinate me—until I know them thoroughly. Percy and the doctor form a most engaging contrast. You always know at any moment what that nice young man is thinking about; he is written like a primer in big type and one-syllable words. But the doctor! He might as well be written in Chinese so far as legibility goes. You have heard of people with a dual nature; well, Sandy possesses a triple one. Usually he's scientific and as hard as granite, but occasionally I suspect him of being quite a sentimental person underneath his official casing. For days at a time he will be patient and kind and helpful, and I begin to like him; then without any warning an untamed wild man swells up from the innermost depths, and—oh, dear! the creature's impossible.
You know, the most interesting thing in the world is studying people's character. I believe I was meant to be a novelist; people really fascinate me—until I understand them completely. Percy and the doctor create a really interesting contrast. You always know exactly what that nice young man is thinking; he’s as clear as a children’s book with big letters and simple words. But the doctor! He might as well be written in Chinese when it comes to being understandable. You've heard of people with a dual nature; well, Sandy has a triple one. Usually, he’s scientific and as hard as stone, but sometimes I suspect he’s actually quite sentimental beneath his official exterior. For days at a time, he can be patient, kind, and helpful, and I start to like him; then, without any warning, a wild side surges up from deep inside, and—oh, dear! The guy’s impossible.
I always suspect that sometime in the past he has suffered a terrible hurt, and that he is still brooding over the memory of it. All the time he is talking you have the uncomfortable feeling that in the far back corners of his mind he is thinking something else. But this may be merely my romantic interpretation of an uncommonly bad temper. In any case, he's baffling.
I always think that at some point in the past, he experienced a terrible hurt and that he's still dwelling on it. While he's talking, you get the uneasy sense that in the far corners of his mind, he's focused on something entirely different. But maybe this is just my overly romantic take on what is really just a bad temper. Regardless, he’s confusing.
We have been waiting for a week for a fine windy afternoon, and this is it. My children are enjoying "kite-day," a leaf taken from Japan. All of the big-enough boys and most of the girls are spread over "Knowltop" (that high, rocky sheep pasture which joins us on the east) flying kites made by themselves.
We’ve been waiting for a week for a nice windy afternoon, and here it is. My kids are having a great time on “kite day,” a tradition they borrowed from Japan. All the boys who are old enough and most of the girls are out on “Knowltop” (that high, rocky sheep pasture next to us on the east) flying kites they made themselves.
I had a dreadful time coaxing the crusty old gentleman who owns the estate into granting permission. He doesn't like orphans, he says, and if he once lets them get a start in his grounds, the place will be infested with them forever. You would think, to hear him talk, that orphans were a pernicious kind of beetle.
I had a terrible time trying to convince the old guy who owns the estate to give permission. He says he doesn’t like orphans, and if he lets them get a foot in his grounds, they’ll take over the place forever. You’d think, listening to him, that orphans were some sort of awful bug.
But after half an hour's persuasive talking on my part, he grudgingly made us free of his sheep pasture for two hours, provided we didn't step foot into the cow pasture over the lane, and came home promptly when our time was up. To insure the sanctity of his cow pasture, Mr. Knowltop has sent his gardener and chauffeur and two grooms to patrol its boundaries while the flying is on. The children are still at it, and are having a wonderful adventure racing over that windy height and getting tangled up in one another's strings. When they come panting back they are to have a surprise in the shape of ginger cookies and lemonade.
But after half an hour of convincing him, he reluctantly let us use his sheep pasture for two hours, as long as we didn't go into the cow pasture across the lane and came back right on time. To protect his cow pasture, Mr. Knowltop has sent his gardener, chauffeur, and two grooms to patrol the area while the kids are playing. The children are still enjoying themselves and are having a great time racing on that windy hill and getting tangled in each other's strings. When they return panting, they'll get a surprise of ginger cookies and lemonade.
These pitiful little youngsters with their old faces! It's a difficult task to make them young, but I believe I'm accomplishing it. And it really is fun to feel you're doing something positive for the good of the world. If I don't fight hard against it, you'll be accomplishing your purpose of turning me into a useful person. The social excitements of Worcester almost seem tame before the engrossing interest of 113 live, warm, wriggling little orphans.
These poor kids with their old faces! It's tough to make them feel young, but I think I'm getting there. It really is rewarding to feel like I'm doing something good for the world. If I don't resist it, you might end up turning me into a productive person. The social buzz of Worcester feels dull compared to the captivating energy of 113 lively, warm, squirming little orphans.
Yours with love,
With love,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. I believe, to be accurate, that it's 107 children I possess this afternoon.
P.S. I think, to be precise, that I have 107 kids with me this afternoon.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
This being Sunday and a beautiful blossoming day, with a warm wind blowing, I sat at my window with the "Hygiene of the Nervous System" (Sandy's latest contribution to my mental needs) open in my lap, and my eyes on the prospect without. "Thank Heaven!" thought I, "that this institution was so commandingly placed that at least we can look out over the cast-iron wall which shuts us in."
This being Sunday and a beautiful, blossoming day with a warm breeze blowing, I sat at my window with the "Hygiene of the Nervous System" (Sandy's latest contribution to my mental needs) open in my lap, my eyes on the view outside. "Thank goodness!" I thought, "that this place is so well-positioned that at least we can look out over the cast-iron wall that keeps us in."
I was feeling very cooped-up and imprisoned and like an orphan myself; so I decided that my own nervous system required fresh air and exercise and adventure. Straight before me ran that white ribbon of road that dips into the valley and up over the hills on the other side. Ever since I came I have longed to follow it to the top and find out what lies beyond those hills. Poor Judy! I dare say that very same longing enveloped your childhood. If any one of my little chicks ever stands by the window and looks across the valley to the hills and asks, "What's over there?" I shall telephone for a motor car.
I was feeling really trapped and alone, like an orphan; so I decided that I needed some fresh air, exercise, and adventure. Straight ahead of me was that white ribbon of road that dips into the valley and then climbs over the hills on the other side. Ever since I got here, I've wanted to follow it to the top and see what’s beyond those hills. Poor Judy! I bet you felt that same urge during your childhood. If any of my little ones ever stands by the window and looks across the valley at the hills and asks, "What’s over there?" I'll call for a car.
But today my chicks were all piously engaged with their little souls, I the only wanderer at heart. I changed my silken Sunday gown for homespun, planning meanwhile a means to get to the top of those hills.
But today my kids were all thoughtfully focused on their little lives, and I was the only one wandering at heart. I swapped my fancy Sunday dress for something more casual, while figuring out a way to reach the top of those hills.
Then I went to the telephone and brazenly called up 505.
Then I walked over to the phone and confidently called 505.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. McGurk," said I, very sweet. "May I be speaking with Dr. MacRae?"
"Good afternoon, Mrs. McGurk," I said cheerfully. "Can I talk to Dr. MacRae?"
"Howld the wire," said she, very short.
"Hold the wire," she said abruptly.
"Afternoon, Doctor," said I to him. "Have ye, by chance, any dying patients who live on the top o' the hills beyant?"
"Good afternoon, Doctor," I said to him. "Do you happen to have any dying patients who live on the hills over there?"
"I have not, thank the Lord!"
"Thank God, I haven't!"
"'Tis a pity," said I, disappointed. "And what are ye afther doin' with yerself the day?"
"'It’s a pity," I said, disappointed. "And what are you up to today?"
"I am reading the `Origin of Species.'"
"I am reading the `Origin of Species.'"
"Shut it up; it's not fit for Sunday. And tell me now, is yer motor car iled and ready to go?"
"Shut it up; it's not suitable for Sunday. And tell me now, is your car fueled up and ready to go?"
"It is at your disposal. Are you wanting me to take some orphans for a ride?"
"It’s yours to use. Do you want me to take some orphans for a ride?"
"Just one who's sufferin' from a nervous system. She's taken a fixed idea that she must get to the top o' the hills."
"Just someone who's struggling with their nerves. They’ve convinced themselves that they need to reach the top of the hills."
"My car is a grand climber. In fifteen minutes—"
"My car is an awesome climber. In fifteen minutes—"
"Wait!" said I. "Bring with ye a frying pan that's a decent size for two. There's nothing in my kitchen smaller than a cart wheel. And ask Mrs. McGurk can ye stay out for supper."
"Wait!" I said. "Bring a frying pan that's big enough for two. There's nothing in my kitchen smaller than a cart wheel. And ask Mrs. McGurk if you can stay out for dinner."
So I packed in a basket a jar of bacon and some eggs and muffins and ginger cookies, with hot coffee in the thermos bottle, and was waiting on the steps when Sandy chugged up with his automobile and frying pan.
So I packed a basket with a jar of bacon, some eggs, muffins, ginger cookies, and hot coffee in a thermos, and I was waiting on the steps when Sandy rolled up in his car with a frying pan.
We really had a beautiful adventure, and he enjoyed the sensation of running away exactly as much as I. Not once did I let him mention insanity. I made him look at the wide stretches of meadow and the lines of pollard willows backed by billowing hills, and sniff the air, and listen to the cawing crows and the tinkle of cowbells and the gurgling of the river. And we talked—oh, about a million things far removed from our asylum. I made him throw away the idea that he is a scientist, and pretend to be a boy. You will scarcely credit the assertion, but he succeeded—more or less. He did pull off one or two really boyish pranks. Sandy is not yet out of his thirties and, mercy! that is too early to be grown up.
We really had an amazing adventure, and he loved the thrill of running away just as much as I did. I never let him bring up the topic of insanity. I showed him the vast meadows and the lines of trimmed willows against the rolling hills, encouraged him to breathe in the fresh air, and listen to the cawing crows, the jingling cowbells, and the flowing river. We talked—about a million things that had nothing to do with our asylum. I got him to forget the idea that he’s a scientist and just act like a kid. You might hardly believe it, but he actually managed to do that—more or less. He even pulled off one or two really childish pranks. Sandy isn't even out of his thirties yet, and wow! That's way too young to be all grown up.
We camped on a bluff overlooking our view, gathered some driftwood, built a fire, and cooked the NICEST supper—a sprinkling of burnt stick in our fried eggs, but charcoal's healthy. Then, when Sandy had finished his pipe and "the sun was setting in its wonted west," we packed up and coasted back home.
We camped on a cliff with a great view, collected some driftwood, started a fire, and made the BEST dinner—a little bit of burnt stick in our fried eggs, but charcoal is healthy. Then, once Sandy finished his pipe and "the sun was setting in its usual place," we packed up and cruised back home.
He says it was the nicest afternoon he has had in years, and, poor deluded man of science, I actually believe it's true. His olive green home is so uncomfortable and dreary and uninspiring that I don't wonder he drowns his troubles in books. Just as soon as I can find a nice comfortable house mother to put in charge, I am going to plot for the dismissal of Maggie McGurk, though I foresee that she will be even harder than Sterry to pry from her moorings.
He says it was the nicest afternoon he's had in years, and, poor misguided man of science, I actually believe him. His olive green house is so uncomfortable, dreary, and uninspiring that I’m not surprised he escapes his troubles in books. As soon as I can find a nice, comfortable housemother to take charge, I’m going to work on getting rid of Maggie McGurk, even though I expect she will be even more difficult to remove than Sterry.
Please don't draw the conclusion that I am becoming unduly interested in our bad-tempered doctor, for I'm not. It's just that he leads such a comfortless life that I sometimes long to pat him on the head and tell him to cheer up; the world's full of sunshine, and some of it's for him—just as I long to comfort my hundred and seven orphans; so much and no more.
Please don't think that I'm getting too interested in our grumpy doctor, because I'm not. It's just that he has such a tough life that I sometimes want to give him a pat on the back and tell him to cheer up; the world is full of sunshine, and some of it is for him—just like I want to comfort my hundred and seven orphans; that's all.
I am sure that I had some real news to tell you, but it has completely gone out of my head. The rush of fresh air has made me sleepy. It's half-past nine, and I bid you good night.
I’m sure I had something important to share, but it’s completely slipped my mind. The fresh air has made me drowsy. It’s 9:30, and I wish you a good night.
S.
S.
P.S. Gordon Hallock has evaporated into thin air. Not a word for three weeks; no candy or stuffed animals or tokimentoes of any description. What on earth do you suppose has become of that attentive young man?
P.S. Gordon Hallock has completely disappeared. Not a word for three weeks; no candy, no stuffed animals, and no messages of any kind. What do you think happened to that caring young man?
July 13.
July 13th.
Dearest Judy:
Dear Judy:
Hark to the glad tidings!
Listen to the good news!
This being the thirty-first day of Punch's month, I telephoned to his two patronesses, as nominated in the bond, to arrange for his return. I was met by an indignant refusal. Give up their sweet little volcano just as they are getting it trained not to belch forth fire? They are outraged that I can make such an ungrateful request. Punch has accepted their invitation to spend the summer.
This being the thirty-first day of Punch's month, I called his two patrons, as stated in the agreement, to set up his return. I was met with an angry refusal. Give up their beloved little volcano just when they’ve managed to train it not to erupt? They are appalled that I could make such an ungrateful request. Punch has accepted their invitation to spend the summer.
The dressmaking is still going on. You should hear the machines whir and the tongues clatter in the sewing room. Our most cowed, apathetic, spiritless little orphan cheers up and takes an interest in life when she hears that she is to possess three perfectly private dresses of her own, and each a different color, chosen by herself. And you should see how it encourages their sewing ability. Even the little ten-year-olds are bursting into seamstresses. I wish I could devise an equally effective way to make them take an interest in cooking. But our kitchen is extremely uneducative. You know how hampering it is to one's enthusiasm to have to prepare a bushel of potatoes at once.
The dressmaking is still happening. You can hear the machines humming and the chatter of voices in the sewing room. Our most timid, indifferent, and lifeless little orphan perks up and starts to care about life when she finds out she’s going to have three completely private dresses of her own, each in a different color that she gets to pick. And you should see how this boosts their sewing skills. Even the ten-year-olds are becoming amazing seamstresses. I wish I could come up with an equally effective way to get them excited about cooking. But our kitchen is really not set up for that. You know how frustrating it is to have to prepare a whole bushel of potatoes at once.
I think you've heard me mention the fact that I should like to divide up my kiddies into ten nice little families, with a nice comfortable house mother over each? If we just had ten picturesque cottages to put them in, with flowers in the front yard and rabbits and kittens and puppies and chickens in the back, we should be a perfectly presentable institution, and wouldn't be ashamed to have these charity experts come visiting us.
I think you’ve heard me say that I’d like to split my kids into ten nice little families, each with a caring housemother? If we just had ten charming cottages to put them in, with flowers in the front yard and rabbits, kittens, puppies, and chickens in the back, we’d be a perfectly respectable place, and we wouldn’t be embarrassed to have those charity experts come visit us.
Thursday.
Thursday.
I started this letter three days ago, was interrupted to talk to a potential philanthropist (fifty tickets to the circus), and have not had time to pick up my pen since. Betsy has been in Philadelphia for three days, being a bridesmaid for a miserable cousin. I hope that no more of her family are thinking of getting married, for it's most upsetting to the J. G. H.
I started this letter three days ago, was interrupted to talk to a potential philanthropist (fifty tickets to the circus), and haven’t had a chance to pick up my pen since. Betsy has been in Philadelphia for three days, serving as a bridesmaid for a difficult cousin. I hope no more of her family members are planning to get married, because it’s really upsetting to the J. G. H.
While there, she investigated a family who had applied for a child. Of course we haven't a proper investigating plant, but once in a while, when a family drops right into our arms, we do like to put the business through. As a usual thing, we work with the State Charities' Aid Association. They have a lot of trained agents traveling about the State, keeping in touch with families who are willing to take children, and with asylums that have them to give. Since they are willing to work for us, there is no slightest use in our going to the expense of peddling our own babies. And I do want to place out as many as are available, for I firmly believe that a private home is the best thing for the child, provided, of course, that we are very fussy about the character of the homes we choose. I don't require rich foster parents, but I do require kind, loving, intelligent parents. This time I think Betsy has landed a gem of a family. The child is not yet delivered or the papers signed, and of course there is always danger that they may give a sudden flop, and splash back into the water.
While there, she looked into a family who had applied for a child. Of course, we don't have a proper investigation system, but occasionally, when a family comes to us, we like to handle it properly. Normally, we collaborate with the State Charities' Aid Association. They have trained agents traveling around the state, staying in touch with families willing to take in children and with asylums that have them available. Since they're willing to work for us, there's really no point in us spending money to find our own babies. And I want to place as many as we can because I strongly believe that a private home is the best option for a child, as long as we are very picky about the quality of the homes we choose. I don't require wealthy foster parents, but I do need kind, loving, and intelligent ones. This time, I think Betsy has found a fantastic family. The child hasn't been delivered yet, nor have the papers been signed, and of course, there's always the chance that they could suddenly back out, causing everything to fall apart.
Ask Jervis if he ever heard of J. F. Bretland of Philadelphia. He seems to move in financial circles. The first I ever heard of him was a letter addressed to the "Supt. John Grier Home, Dear Sir,"—a curt, typewritten, businesslike letter, from an AWFULLY businesslike lawyer, saying that his wife had determined to adopt a baby girl of attractive appearance and good health between the ages of two and three years. The child must be an orphan of American stock, with unimpeachable heredity, and no relatives to interfere. Could I furnish one as required and oblige, yours truly, J. F. Bretland?
Ask Jervis if he's ever heard of J. F. Bretland from Philadelphia. He seems to be involved in financial circles. The first time I heard of him was through a letter addressed to "Supt. John Grier Home, Dear Sir,"—a brief, typewritten, businesslike letter from a REALLY businesslike lawyer, stating that his wife wanted to adopt a baby girl who was cute and healthy, between two and three years old. The child needed to be an orphan of American descent, with a solid background, and no relatives to complicate things. Could I provide one as requested and oblige, yours truly, J. F. Bretland?
By way of reference he mentioned "Bradstreets." Did you ever hear of anything so funny? You would think he was opening a charge account at a nursery, and inclosing an order from our seed catalogue.
By way of reference, he mentioned "Bradstreets." Have you ever heard anything so funny? You’d think he was starting a charge account at a nursery and including an order from our seed catalog.
We began our usual investigation by mailing a reference blank to a clergyman in Germantown, where the J. F. B.'s reside.
We started our usual investigation by sending a reference form to a clergyman in Germantown, where the J. F. B.'s live.
Does he own any property?
Does he own any real estate?
Does he pay his bills?
Does he pay his bills?
Is he kind to animals?
Is he nice to animals?
Does he attend church?
Does he go to church?
Does he quarrel with his wife? And a dozen other impertinent questions.
Does he fight with his wife? And a dozen other rude questions.
We evidently picked a clergyman with a sense of humor. Instead of answering in laborious detail, he wrote up and down and across the sheet, "I wish they'd adopt me!"
We clearly chose a clergyman with a sense of humor. Instead of replying with a long explanation, he scribbled up and down and across the page, "I wish they'd adopt me!"
This looked promising, so B. Kindred obligingly dashed out to Germantown as soon as the wedding breakfast was over. She is developing the most phenomenal detective instinct. In the course of a social call she can absorb from the chairs and tables a family's entire moral history.
This seemed promising, so B. Kindred eagerly raced out to Germantown right after the wedding breakfast ended. She is developing an incredible detective instinct. During a social visit, she can pick up an entire family's moral history just from the chairs and tables.
She returned from Germantown bursting with enthusiastic details.
She came back from Germantown full of excited details.
Mr. J. F. Bretland is a wealthy and influential citizen, cordially loved by his friends and deeply hated by his enemies (discharged employees, who do not hesitate to say that he is a HAR-RD man). He is a little shaky in his attendance at church, but his wife seems regular, and he gives money.
Mr. J. F. Bretland is a wealthy and influential person, warmly appreciated by his friends and strongly disliked by his enemies (former employees, who aren’t shy about saying he’s a tough boss). He doesn’t always show up to church, but his wife goes regularly, and he contributes financially.
She is a charming, kindly, cultivated gentlewoman, just out of a sanatorium after a year of nervous prostration. The doctor says that what she needs is some strong interest in life, and advises adopting a child. She has always longed to do it, but her hard husband has stubbornly refused. But finally, as always, it is the gentle, persistent wife who has triumphed, and hard husband has been forced to give in. Waiving his own natural preference for a boy, he wrote, as above, the usual request for a blue-eyed girl.
She is a charming, kind, and cultured woman, just out of a sanatorium after a year of nervous exhaustion. The doctor says that what she needs is a strong interest in life and recommends adopting a child. She has always wanted to do this, but her rigid husband has stubbornly refused. But eventually, as always, it's the gentle, persistent wife who has succeeded, and the tough husband has been forced to relent. Setting aside his preference for a boy, he wrote, as mentioned above, the usual request for a blue-eyed girl.
Mrs. Bretland, with the firm intention of taking a child, has been reading up for years, and there is no detail of infant dietetics that she does not know. She has a sunny nursery, with a southwestern exposure, all ready. And a closet full of surreptitiously gathered dolls! She has made the clothes for them herself,—she showed them to Betsy with the greatest pride,—so you can understand the necessity for a girl.
Mrs. Bretland, determined to adopt a child, has been researching for years, and there’s no detail about infant nutrition that she doesn’t know. She has a bright nursery, with a southwest exposure, all set up. And a closet full of secretly collected dolls! She made the clothes for them herself—she proudly showed them to Betsy—so you can see why she needs a girl.
She has just heard of an excellent English trained nurse that she can secure, but she isn't sure but that it would be better to start with a French nurse, so that the child can learn the language before her vocal cords are set. Also, she was extremely interested when she heard that Betsy was a college woman. She couldn't make up her mind whether to send the baby to college or not. What was Betsy's honest opinion? If the child were Betsy's own daughter, would Betsy send her to college?
She has just found out about a fantastic English-trained nurse she can hire, but she's unsure if it might be better to go with a French nurse so the child can learn the language before her speech develops. Also, she was really intrigued when she learned that Betsy was a college graduate. She couldn't decide whether to send the baby to college or not. What did Betsy honestly think? If the child were Betsy's own daughter, would Betsy send her to college?
All this would be funny if it weren't so pathetic; but really I can't get away from the picture of that poor lonely woman sewing those doll clothes for the little unknown girl that she wasn't sure she could have. She lost her own two babies years ago, or, rather, she never had them; they were never alive.
All this would be funny if it weren't so sad; but honestly, I can't shake the image of that poor lonely woman sewing doll clothes for the little unknown girl she wasn’t sure she could have. She lost her two babies years ago, or rather, she never had them; they were never alive.
You can see what a good home it's going to be. There's lots of love waiting for the little mite, and that is better than all the wealth which, in this case, goes along.
You can see what a great home it's going to be. There's so much love waiting for the little one, and that's better than all the wealth that comes with it.
But the problem now is to find the child, and that isn't easy. The J. F. Bretlands are so abominably explicit in their requirements. I have just the baby boy to give them; but with that closetful of dolls, he is impossible. Little Florence won't do—one tenacious parent living. I've a wide variety of foreigners with liquid brown eyes—won't do at all. Mrs. Bretland is a blonde, and daughter must resemble her. I have several sweet little mites with unspeakable heredity, but the Bretlands want six generations of church-attending grandparents, with a colonial governor at the top. Also I have a darling little curly-headed girl (and curls are getting rarer and rarer), but illegitimate. And that seems to be an unsurmountable barrier in the eyes of adopting parents, though, as a matter of fact, it makes no slightest difference in the child. However, she won't do. The Bretlands hold out sternly for a marriage certificate.
But the issue now is finding the child, and that's not easy. The J. F. Bretlands are incredibly specific about what they want. I only have the baby boy to offer them; but with that closet full of dolls, he’s just not a fit. Little Florence won't work—one stubborn parent still around. I've got a range of foreign kids with liquid brown eyes—definitely won't do. Mrs. Bretland is a blonde, and her daughter has to look like her. I have several adorable little kids with questionable backgrounds, but the Bretlands are after six generations of grandparents who regularly attended church, with a colonial governor at the top. I also have an adorable little curly-haired girl (and curls are becoming rarer), but she's illegitimate. And that seems to be an insurmountable hurdle for adoptive parents, even though, in reality, it makes no difference to the child at all. Still, she won’t work. The Bretlands are adamant about needing a marriage certificate.
There remains just one child out of all these one hundred and seven that appears available. Our little Sophie's father and mother were killed in a railroad accident, and the only reason she wasn't killed was because they had just left her in a hospital to get an abscess cut out of her throat. She comes from good common American stock, irreproachable and uninteresting in every way. She's a washed-out, spiritless, whiney little thing. The doctor has been pouring her full of his favorite cod-liver oil and spinach, but he can't get any cheerfulness into her.
There’s only one child out of all one hundred and seven who seems available. Our little Sophie lost her parents in a train accident, and the only reason she survived is that they had just left her at a hospital to have an abscess removed from her throat. She comes from a solid, ordinary American background, unblemished and unremarkable in every way. She’s a pale, lifeless, whiny little girl. The doctor has been dosing her with his go-to cod liver oil and spinach, but he can’t seem to bring any cheerfulness to her.
However, individual love and care does accomplish wonders in institution children, and she may bloom into something rare and beautiful after a few months' transplanting. So I yesterday wrote a glowing account of her immaculate family history to J. F. Bretland, offering to deliver her in Germantown.
However, individual love and care can work wonders for children in institutions, and she may grow into something rare and beautiful after a few months of being nurtured. So yesterday, I wrote a glowing account of her perfect family history to J. F. Bretland, offering to deliver her in Germantown.
This morning I received a telegram from J. F. B. Not at all! He does not purpose to buy any daughter sight unseen. He will come and inspect the child in person at three o'clock on Wednesday next.
This morning I got a telegram from J. F. B. Not at all! He doesn’t plan to buy any daughter without seeing her first. He will come and check out the girl in person at three o'clock next Wednesday.
Oh dear, if he shouldn't like her! We are now bending all our energies toward enhancing that child's beauty—like a pup bound for the dog show. Do you think it would be awfully immoral if I rouged her cheeks a suspicion? She is too young to pick up the habit.
Oh no, what if he doesn’t like her! We're putting all our effort into making that girl more beautiful—like a puppy getting ready for a dog show. Do you think it would be totally wrong if I added a little blush to her cheeks? She's too young to get into that habit.
Heavens! what a letter! A million pages written without a break. You can see where my heart is. I'm as excited over little Sophie's settling in life as though she were my own darling daughter.
Heavens! What a letter! A million pages written nonstop. You can see where my heart is. I'm just as excited about little Sophie's settling into life as if she were my own dear daughter.
Respectful regards to the president.
Best regards to the president.
SAL. McB.
SAL. McB.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
That was an obnoxious, beastly, low-down trick not to send me a cheering line for four weeks just because, in a period of abnormal stress I once let you go for three. I had really begun to be worried for fear you'd tumbled into the Potomac. My chicks would miss you dreadfully; they love their uncle Gordon. Please remember that you promised to send them a donkey.
That was a really terrible, low blow not to send me a nice message for four weeks just because, during a really stressful time, I let you go for three. I actually started to worry that you might have fallen into the Potomac. My kids would miss you a lot; they really love their Uncle Gordon. Please don’t forget that you promised to send them a donkey.
Please also remember that I'm a busier person than you. It's a lot harder to run the John Grier Home than the House of Representatives. Besides, you have more efficient people to help.
Please also remember that I’m a busier person than you. It’s much harder to run the John Grier Home than the House of Representatives. Plus, you have more efficient people to assist you.
This isn't a letter; it's an indignant remonstrance. I'll write tomorrow—or the next day.
This isn't a letter; it's a furious complaint. I'll write tomorrow—or the next day.
S.
S.
P.S. On reading your letter over again I am slightly mollified, but dinna think I believe a' your saft words. I ken weel ye only flatter when ye speak sae fair.
P.S. After reading your letter again, I'm a bit softened, but don't think I buy all your sweet talk. I know well you only flatter when you say such nice things.
July 17.
July 17th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
I have a history to recount.
I have a story to tell.
This, please remember, is Wednesday next. So at half-past two o'clock our little Sophie was bathed and brushed and clothed in fine linen, and put in charge of a trusty orphan, with anxious instructions to keep her clean.
This, just so you know, is next Wednesday. So at 2:30 PM, our little Sophie was bathed, brushed, dressed in nice linen, and put in the care of a reliable orphan, with urgent instructions to keep her clean.
At three-thirty to the minute—never have I known a human being so disconcertingly businesslike as J. F. Bretland—an automobile of expensive foreign design rolled up to the steps of this imposing chateau. A square-shouldered, square-jawed personage, with a chopped-off mustache and a manner that inclines one to hurry, presented himself three minutes later at my library door. He greeted me briskly as "Miss McKosh." I gently corrected him, and he changed to "Miss McKim." I indicated my most soothing armchair, and invited him to take some light refreshment after his journey. He accepted a glass of water (I admire a temperate parent), and evinced an impatient desire to be done with the business. So I rang the bell and ordered the little Sophie to be brought down.
At exactly three-thirty—I've never met anyone as unnervingly businesslike as J. F. Bretland—an expensive foreign car pulled up to the steps of this impressive chateau. A square-shouldered, square-jawed man with a trimmed mustache and an urgent manner arrived three minutes later at my library door. He greeted me briskly as "Miss McKosh." I politely corrected him, and he switched to "Miss McKim." I pointed to my most comfortable armchair and invited him to have a light drink after his journey. He accepted a glass of water (I appreciate a temperate person), and showed an impatient eagerness to get straight to business. So, I rang the bell and asked for little Sophie to be brought down.
"Hold on, Miss McGee!" said he to me. "I'd rather see her in her own environment. I will go with you to the playroom or corral or wherever you keep your youngsters."
"Wait a second, Miss McGee!" he said to me. "I’d prefer to see her in her own surroundings. I’ll go with you to the playroom or corral or wherever you have your kids."
So I led him to the nursery, where thirteen or fourteen mites in gingham rompers were tumbling about on mattresses on the floor. Sophie, alone in the glory of feminine petticoats, was ensconced in the blue-ginghamed arms of a very bored orphan. She was squirming and fighting to get down, and her feminine petticoats were tightly wound about her neck. I took her in my arms, smoothed her clothes, wiped her nose, and invited her to look at the gentleman.
So I took him to the nursery, where about thirteen or fourteen little kids in gingham rompers were rolling around on mattresses on the floor. Sophie, all by herself in her pretty petticoats, was tucked in the blue-gingham arms of a very bored orphan. She was wriggling and trying to get down, and her petticoats were twisted tightly around her neck. I picked her up, straightened her clothes, wiped her nose, and asked her to look at the gentleman.
That child's whole future hung upon five minutes of sunniness, and instead of a single smile, she WHINED!
That child's entire future depended on five minutes of sunshine, and instead of a single smile, she WHINED!
Mr. Bretland shook her hand in a very gingerly fashion and chirruped to her as you might to a pup. Sophie took not the slightest notice of him, but turned her back, and buried her face in my neck. He shrugged his shoulders, supposed that they could take her on trial. She might suit his wife; he himself didn't want one, anyway. And we turned to go out.
Mr. Bretland shook her hand cautiously and spoke to her in a playful tone, like you would to a puppy. Sophie completely ignored him, turning away and burying her face in my neck. He shrugged, thinking that they could give her a trial run. She might be a good fit for his wife; he didn't want a dog himself, anyway. And we turned to leave.
Then who should come toddling straight across his path but that little sunbeam Allegra! Exactly in front of him she staggered, threw her arms about like a windmill, and plumped down on all fours. He hopped aside with great agility to avoid stepping on her, and then picked her up and set her on her feet. She clasped her arms about his leg, and looked up at him with a gurgling laugh.
Then who should come toddling right across his path but that little ray of sunshine, Allegra! She wobbled directly in front of him, waved her arms around like a windmill, and fell down on all fours. He jumped aside quickly to avoid stepping on her, then picked her up and set her on her feet. She wrapped her arms around his leg and looked up at him with a bubbly laugh.
"Daddy! Frow baby up!"
"Dad! Throw the baby up!"
He is the first man, barring the doctor, whom the child has seen for weeks, and evidently he resembles somewhat her almost forgotten father.
He is the first man, besides the doctor, that the child has seen in weeks, and it’s clear he somewhat resembles her almost forgotten father.
J. F. Bretland picked her up and tossed her in the air as handily as though it were a daily occurrence, while she ecstatically shrieked her delight. Then when he showed signs of lowering her, she grasped him by an ear and a nose, and drummed a tattoo on his stomach with both feet. No one could ever accuse Allegra of lacking vitality!
J. F. Bretland picked her up and tossed her in the air as easily as if it were a normal thing to do, while she joyfully screamed in excitement. Then, as he started to lower her, she grabbed him by an ear and a nose, and tapped a rhythm on his stomach with both feet. No one could ever say Allegra lacked energy!
J. F. disentangled himself from her endearments, and emerged, rumpled as to hair, but with a firm-set jaw. He set her on her feet, but retained her little doubled-up fist.
J. F. pulled away from her affectionate gestures and stepped back, his hair a bit messy but his jaw strong. He helped her stand up, but held onto her small, clenched fist.
"This is the kid for me," he said. "I don't believe I need to look any further."
"This is the kid for me," he said. "I don't think I need to look any further."
I explained that we couldn't separate little Allegra from her brothers; but the more I objected, the stubborner his jaw became. We went back to the library, and argued about it for half an hour.
I explained that we couldn't separate little Allegra from her brothers; but the more I objected, the more stubborn he became. We went back to the library and argued about it for half an hour.
He liked her heredity, he liked her looks, he liked her spirit, he liked HER. If he was going to have a daughter foisted on him, he wanted one with some ginger. He'd be hanged if he'd take that other whimpering little thing. It wasn't natural. But if I gave him Allegra, he would bring her up as his own child, and see that she was provided for for the rest of her life. Did I have any right to cut her out from all that just for a lot of sentimental nonsense? The family was already broken up; the best I could do for them now was to provide for them individually. "Take all three," said I, quite brazenly.
He liked her background, he liked her appearance, he liked her personality, he liked HER. If he was going to be stuck with a daughter, he wanted one with some character. There was no way he was taking that other whiny little thing. It just wasn’t right. But if I gave him Allegra, he would raise her as his own and make sure she was taken care of for the rest of her life. Did I have any right to deny her all that just because of some sentimental nonsense? The family was already split apart; the best I could do for them now was to support them individually. "Take all three," I said, quite boldly.
But, no, he couldn't consider that; his wife was an invalid, and one child was all that she could manage.
But no, he couldn’t think about that; his wife was disabled, and one child was all she could handle.
Well, I was in a dreadful quandary. It seemed such a chance for the child, and yet it did seem so cruel to separate her from those two adoring little brothers. I knew that if the Bretlands adopted her legally, they would do their best to break all ties with the past, and the child was still so tiny she would forget her brothers as quickly as she had her father.
Well, I was in a terrible dilemma. It felt like such a great opportunity for the child, but it also seemed so harsh to separate her from her two loving little brothers. I realized that if the Bretlands adopted her legally, they would try their hardest to cut all connections with her past, and she was still so young that she would forget her brothers just as fast as she had forgotten her father.
Then I thought about you, Judy, and of how bitter you have always been because, when that family wanted to adopt you, the asylum wouldn't let you go. You have always said that you might have had a home, too, like other children, but that Mrs. Lippett stole it away from you. Was I perhaps stealing little Allegra's home from her? With the two boys it would be different; they could be educated and turned out to shift for themselves. But to a girl a home like this would mean everything. Ever since baby Allegra came to us, she has seemed to me just such another child as baby Judy must have been. She has ability and spirit. We must somehow furnish her with opportunity. She, too, deserves her share of the world's beauty and good—as much as nature has fitted her to appreciate. And could any asylum ever give her that? I stood and thought and thought while Mr. Bretland impatiently paced the floor.
Then I thought about you, Judy, and how bitter you've always been because, when that family wanted to adopt you, the orphanage wouldn't let you go. You've always said that you might have had a home, like other kids, but that Mrs. Lippett took it away from you. Was I maybe taking little Allegra's home from her? With the two boys, it would be different; they could be educated and grow up to take care of themselves. But for a girl, a home like this would mean everything. Ever since baby Allegra came to us, she seemed just like baby Judy must have been. She has talent and spirit. We have to somehow give her a chance. She deserves her share of the world's beauty and goodness, as much as she's able to appreciate. And could any orphanage ever provide her that? I stood there thinking while Mr. Bretland impatiently paced the floor.
"You have those boys down and let me talk to them," Mr. Bretland insisted. "If they have a spark of generosity, they'll be glad to let her go."
"You've got those boys under control, so let me talk to them," Mr. Bretland insisted. "If they have any sense of generosity, they'll be happy to let her go."
I sent for them, but my heart was a solid lump of lead. They were still missing their father; it seemed merciless to snatch away that darling baby sister, too.
I called for them, but my heart felt like a heavy lump of lead. They were still missing their father; it seemed cruel to take away their precious baby sister, too.
They came hand in hand, sturdy, fine little chaps, and stood solemnly at attention, with big, wondering eyes fixed on the strange gentleman.
They arrived hand in hand, tough, well-dressed little guys, and stood seriously at attention, their big, curious eyes locked on the unfamiliar man.
"Come here, boys. I want to talk to you." He took each by a hand. "In the house I live in we haven't any little baby, so my wife and I decided to come here, where there are so many babies without fathers and mothers, and take one home to be ours. She will have a beautiful house to live in, and lots of toys to play with, and she will be happy all her life—much happier than she could ever be here. I know that you will be very glad to hear that I have chosen your little sister."
"Come here, boys. I want to talk to you." He took each of them by the hand. "In the house where I live, we don't have any little babies, so my wife and I decided to come here, where there are so many babies without parents, and take one home to be ours. She will have a lovely home to live in, plenty of toys to play with, and she will be happy for her whole life—much happier than she could ever be here. I know you will be really glad to hear that I have chosen your little sister."
"And won't we ever see her any more?" asked Clifford.
"And will we ever see her again?" asked Clifford.
"Oh, yes, sometimes."
"Oh, for sure, sometimes."
Clifford looked from me to Mr. Bretland, and two big tears began rolling down his cheeks. He jerked his hand away and came and hurled himself into my arms.
Clifford looked from me to Mr. Bretland, and two big tears began rolling down his cheeks. He pulled his hand away and came running into my arms.
"Don't let him have her! Please! Please! Send him away!"
"Don't let him have her! Please! Please! Get him out of here!"
"Take them all!" I begged.
"Take all of them!" I begged.
But he's a hard man.
But he's a tough guy.
"I didn't come for an entire asylum," said he, shortly.
"I didn't come for a whole asylum," he said briefly.
By this time Don was sobbing on the other side. And then who should inject himself into the hubbub but Dr. MacRae, with baby Allegra in his arms!
By this point, Don was crying on the other side. And then who should show up in the chaos but Dr. MacRae, holding baby Allegra in his arms!
I introduced them, and explained. Mr. Bretland reached for the baby, and Sandy held her tight.
I introduced them and explained. Mr. Bretland reached for the baby, and Sandy held her close.
"Quite impossible," said Sandy, shortly. "Miss McBride will tell you that it's one of the rules of this institution never to separate a family."
"That's not possible," Sandy said curtly. "Miss McBride will tell you that it's a rule here never to separate a family."
"Miss McBride has already decided," said J. F. B., stiffly. "We have fully discussed the question."
"Miss McBride has already made her decision," said J. F. B., stiffly. "We've talked about this issue thoroughly."
"You must be mistaken," said Sandy, becoming his Scotchest, and turning to me. "You surely had no intention of performing any such cruelty as this?"
"You must be mistaken," said Sandy, getting his most serious tone, and turning to me. "You definitely didn't mean to carry out anything this cruel, right?"
Here was the decision of Solomon all over again, with two of the stubbornest men that the good Lord ever made wresting poor little Allegra limb from limb.
Here was Solomon's decision all over again, with two of the most stubborn men the good Lord ever created tearing poor little Allegra apart.
I despatched the three chicks back to the nursery and returned to the fray. We argued loud and hotly, until finally J. F. B. echoed my own frequent query of the last five months: "Who is the head of this asylum, the superintendent or the visiting physician?"
I sent the three kids back to the nursery and jumped back into the argument. We debated loudly and passionately, until finally J. F. B. repeated my own question from the past five months: "Who runs this place, the superintendent or the visiting doctor?"
I was furious with the doctor for placing me in such a position before that man, but I couldn't quarrel with him in public; so I had ultimately to tell Mr. Bretland with finality and flatness, that Allegra was out of the question. Would he not reconsider Sophie?
I was really angry with the doctor for putting me in that situation in front of that man, but I couldn't argue with him in public; so I finally had to tell Mr. Bretland clearly and without any softness that Allegra was not an option. Would he reconsider Sophie?
No, he'd be darned if he'd reconsider Sophie. Allegra or nobody. He hoped that I realized that I had weakly allowed the child's entire future to be ruined. And with that parting shot he backed to the door. "Miss MacRae, Dr. McBride, good afternoon." He achieved two formal bows and withdrew.
No, he was damned if he was going to reconsider Sophie. Allegra or no one else. He hoped I understood that I had weakly let the child's whole future get ruined. And with that last comment, he stepped back to the door. "Miss MacRae, Dr. McBride, good afternoon." He gave two formal bows and left.
And the moment the door closed Sandy and I fought it out. He said that any person who claimed to have any modern, humane views on the subject of child-care ought to be ashamed to have considered for even a moment the question of breaking up such a family. And I accused him of keeping her for the purely selfish reason that he was fond of the child and didn't wish to lose her.
And the moment the door shut, Sandy and I went at it. He said that anyone who claimed to have modern, humane views on child care should be ashamed to even think about breaking up a family like that. I accused him of wanting to keep her for purely selfish reasons because he liked the kid and didn’t want to lose her.
(And that, I believe, is the truth.) Oh, we had the battle of our career, and he finally took himself off with a stiffness and politeness that excelled J. F. B.'s.
(And that, I believe, is the truth.) Oh, we had the fight of our lives, and he eventually left with a formality and courtesy that surpassed J. F. B.'s.
Between the two of them I feel as limp as though I'd been run through our new mangling machine. And then Betsy came home, and reviled me for throwing away the choicest family we have ever discovered!
Between the two of them, I feel as helpless as if I’d been run through our new mangle. Then Betsy came home and criticized me for tossing away the best family we’ve ever found!
So this is the end of our week of feverish activity; and both Sophie and Allegra are, after all, to be institution children. Oh dear! oh dear! Please remove Sandy from the staff, and send me, instead, a German, a Frenchman, a Chinaman, if you choose—anything but a Scotchman.
So this is the end of our busy week, and both Sophie and Allegra are, after all, going to be kids at the institution. Oh dear! Oh dear! Please take Sandy off the staff and send me, instead, a German, a Frenchman, a Chinese person, if you prefer—anything but a Scotsman.
Yours wearily,
Yours tiredly,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. I dare say that Sandy is also passing a busy evening in writing to have me removed. I won't object if you wish to do it. I am tired of institutions.
P.S. I bet Sandy is also having a busy evening writing to get me kicked out. I won’t mind if you decide to go through with it. I’m tired of institutions.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
You are a captious, caviling, carping, crabbed, contentious, cantankerous chap. Hoot mon! an' why shouldna I drap into Scotch gin I choose? An' I with a Mac in my name.
You’re a picky, nitpicking, grumpy, difficult, argumentative, grumpy guy. Come on! And why shouldn’t I indulge in Scotch gin if I want? Especially with “Mac” in my name.
Of course the John Grier will be delighted to welcome you on Thursday next, not only for the donkey, but for your sweet sunny presence as well. I was planning to write you a mile-long letter to make up for past deficiencies, but wha's the use? I'll be seeing you the morn's morn, an' unco gude will be the sight o' you for sair een.
Of course, the John Grier will be thrilled to have you visit next Thursday, not just for the donkey, but also for your cheerful, sunny presence. I was planning to write you a long letter to make up for not writing before, but what’s the point? I'll see you tomorrow morning, and it will be so good to see you after such a long time.
Dinna fash yoursel, Laddie, because o'my language. My forebears were from the Hielands.
Don't worry yourself, kid, about my language. My ancestors were from the Highlands.
McBRIDE.
McBRIDE.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy,
All's well with the John Grier—except for a broken tooth, a sprained wrist, a badly scratched knee, and one case of pinkeye. Betsy and I are being polite, but cool, toward the doctor. The annoying thing is that he is rather cool, too. And he seems to be under the impression that the drop in temperature is all on his side. He goes about his business in a scientific, impersonal way, entirely courteous, but somewhat detached.
All’s good on the John Grier—except for a broken tooth, a sprained wrist, a seriously scratched knee, and one case of pinkeye. Betsy and I are being polite but distant with the doctor. The frustrating part is that he’s kind of distant, too. He seems to think that the coolness is all coming from him. He handles his work in a scientific, impersonal manner—totally professional, but a bit detached.
However, the doctor is not disturbing us very extensively at present. We are about to receive a visit from a far more fascinating person than Sandy. The House of Representatives again rests from its labors, and Gordon enjoys a vacation, two days of which he is planning to spend at the Brantwood Inn.
However, the doctor isn't bothering us too much right now. We're about to get a visit from someone much more interesting than Sandy. The House of Representatives is taking a break from its work again, and Gordon is on vacation, planning to spend two of those days at the Brantwood Inn.
I am delighted to hear that you have had enough seaside, and are considering our neighborhood for the rest of the summer. There are several spacious estates to be had within a few miles of the John Grier, and it will be a nice change for Jervis to come home only at week ends. After a pleasantly occupied absence, you will each have some new ideas to add to the common stock.
I’m really happy to hear that you’ve had enough of the beach and are thinking about our neighborhood for the rest of the summer. There are quite a few roomy homes available just a few miles from John Grier, and it’ll be a nice change for Jervis to only come home on the weekends. After a nice break, you’ll both have some fresh ideas to contribute to the conversation.
I can't add any further philosophy just now on the subject of married life, having to refresh my memory on the Monroe Doctrine and one or two other political topics.
I can't share any more thoughts on married life right now because I need to brush up on the Monroe Doctrine and a couple of other political topics.
I am looking eagerly forward to August and three months with you.
I can't wait for August and the three months we'll spend together.
As ever,
As always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Friday.
Friday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear foe:
It's very forgiving of me to invite you to dinner after that volcanic explosion of last week. However, please come. You remember our philanthropic friend, Mr. Hallock, who sent us the peanuts and goldfish and other indigestible trifles? He will be with us tonight, so this is your chance to turn the stream of his benevolence into more hygienic channels.
It's really generous of me to invite you to dinner after that huge mess from last week. But please come. You remember our charitable friend, Mr. Hallock, who sent us the peanuts, goldfish, and other hard-to-digest snacks? He'll be joining us tonight, so this is your opportunity to guide his generosity into more useful directions.
We dine at seven.
We eat at seven.
As ever,
As always,
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
You should have lived in the days when each man inhabited a separate cave on a separate mountain.
You should have lived in the days when each person had their own cave on a different mountain.
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
Friday, 6:30.
Friday, 6:30 PM.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
Gordon is here, and a reformed man so far as his attitude toward my asylum goes. He has discovered the world-old truth that the way to a mother's heart is through praise of her children, and he had nothing but praise for all 107 of mine. Even in the case of Loretta Higgins he found something pleasant to say. He thinks it nice that she isn't cross-eyed.
Gordon is here, and he's changed his attitude towards my asylum. He has learned the age-old truth that the way to a mother’s heart is through praise of her children, and he had nothing but compliments for all 107 of mine. Even when it came to Loretta Higgins, he managed to find something nice to say. He thinks it’s great that she isn't cross-eyed.
He went shopping with me in the village this afternoon, and was very helpful about picking out hair-ribbons for a couple of dozen little girls. He begged to choose Sadie Kate's himself, and after many hesitations he hit upon orange satin for one braid and emerald green for the other.
He went shopping with me in the village this afternoon and was really helpful in picking out hair ribbons for a bunch of little girls. He insisted on choosing Sadie Kate's himself, and after a lot of back and forth, he settled on orange satin for one braid and emerald green for the other.
While we were immersed in this business I became aware of a neighboring customer, ostensibly engaged with hooks and eyes, but straining every ear to listen to our nonsense.
While we were busy with this work, I noticed a nearby customer, apparently focused on hooks and eyes, but trying hard to eavesdrop on our chatter.
She was so dressed up in a picture hat, a spotted veil, a feather boa, and a NOUVEAU ART parasol that I never dreamed she was any acquaintance of mine till I happened to catch her eye with a familiar malicious gleam in it. She bowed stiffly, and disapprovingly; and I nodded back. Mrs. Maggie McGurk in her company clothes!
She was so dressed up in a fancy hat, a spotted veil, a feather boa, and a MODERN ART parasol that I never imagined she was someone I knew until I happened to catch her eye with a familiar, mischievous glint in it. She nodded stiffly and disapprovingly, and I nodded back. Mrs. Maggie McGurk in her dressy outfit!
That is a pleasanter expression than she really has. Her smile is due to a slip of the pen.
That’s a nicer expression than she actually has. Her smile comes from a mistake in writing.
Poor Mrs. McGurk can't understand any possible intellectual interest in a man. She suspects me of wanting to marry every single one that I meet. At first she thought I wanted to snatch away her doctor; but now, after seeing me with Gordon, she considers me a bigamous monster who wants them both.
Poor Mrs. McGurk can't see any intellectual interest in a man. She thinks I want to marry every guy I meet. At first, she thought I was trying to steal her doctor, but now, after seeing me with Gordon, she sees me as a bigamous monster who wants both of them.
Good-by; some guests approach.
Goodbye; some guests are coming.
11:30 P.M.
11:30 PM
I have just been giving a dinner for Gordon, with Betsy and Mrs. Livermore and Mr. Witherspoon as guests. I graciously included the doctor, but he curtly declined on the ground that he wasn't in a social mood. Our Sandy does not let politeness interfere with truth!
I just hosted a dinner for Gordon, with Betsy, Mrs. Livermore, and Mr. Witherspoon as guests. I kindly invited the doctor, but he sharply turned it down, saying he wasn't in the mood for socializing. Our Sandy doesn’t let politeness get in the way of the truth!
There is no doubt about it, Gordon is the most presentable man that ever breathed. He is so good looking and easy and gracious and witty, and his manners are so impeccable—Oh, he would make a wonderfully decorative husband! But after all, I suppose you do live with a husband. You don't just show him off at dinners and teas.
There’s no doubt about it, Gordon is the most charming guy you could ever meet. He’s incredibly good-looking, charming, and funny, and his manners are flawless—Oh, he would make a fantastic husband to show off! But then again, I guess you actually have to live with a husband. You don’t just display him at dinners and teas.
He was exceptionally nice tonight. Betsy and Mrs. Livermore both fell in love with him—and I just a trifle. He entertained us with a speech in his best public manner, apropos of Java's welfare. We have been having a dreadful time finding a sleeping place for that monkey, and Gordon proved with incontestable logic that, since he was presented to us by Jimmie, and Jimmie is Percy's friend, he should sleep with Percy. Gordon is a natural talker, and an audience affects him like champagne. He can argue with as much emotional earnestness on the subject of a monkey as on the greatest hero that ever bled for his country.
He was really nice tonight. Betsy and Mrs. Livermore both totally fell for him—and I just a little bit. He entertained us with a speech in his best public speaking style, related to Java's well-being. We've been having a hard time finding a place for that monkey to sleep, and Gordon convincingly argued that, since he was given to us by Jimmie, and Jimmie is Percy's friend, he should sleep with Percy. Gordon is a natural when it comes to talking, and an audience affects him like champagne. He can argue with as much passion about a monkey as he can about the greatest hero who ever fought for his country.
I felt tears coming to my eyes when he described Java's loneliness as he watched out the night in our furnace cellar, and pictured his brothers at play in the far-off tropical jungle.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes when he talked about Java's loneliness as he looked out into the night from our furnace cellar and imagined his brothers playing in the distant tropical jungle.
A man who can talk like that has a future before him. I haven't a doubt but that I shall be voting for him for President in another twenty years.
A guy who can speak like that has a future ahead of him. I have no doubt that I'll be voting for him for President in another twenty years.
We all had a beautiful time, and entirely forgot—for a space of three hours—that 107 orphans slumbered about us. Much as I love the little dears, it is pleasant to get away from them once in a while.
We all had a great time and completely forgot—for a whole three hours—that 107 orphans were sleeping around us. As much as I care for the little ones, it's nice to take a break from them every now and then.
My guests left at ten, and it must be midnight by now. (This is the eighth day, and my clock has stopped again; Jane forgets to wind it as regularly as Friday comes around.) However, I know it's late; and as a woman, it's my duty to try for beauty sleep, especially with an eligible young suitor at hand.
My guests left at ten, and it must be midnight by now. (This is the eighth day, and my clock has stopped again; Jane forgets to wind it as regularly as Friday comes around.) However, I know it's late; and as a woman, it's my duty to get some beauty sleep, especially with a charming young suitor around.
I'll finish tomorrow. Good night.
I’ll finish tomorrow. Good night.
Saturday.
Saturday.
Gordon spent this morning playing with my asylum and planning some intelligent presents to be sent later. He thinks that three neatly painted totem poles would add to the attractiveness of our Indian camps. He is also going to make us a present of three dozen pink rompers for the babies. Pink is a color that is very popular with the superintendent of this asylum, who is deadly tired of blue! Our generous friend is likewise amusing himself with the idea of a couple of donkeys and saddles and a little red cart. Isn't it nice that Gordon's father provided for him so amply, and that he is such a charitably inclined young man? He is at present lunching with Percy at the hotel, and, I trust, imbibing fresh ideas in the field of philanthropy.
Gordon spent this morning playing with my asylum and planning some thoughtful gifts to send later. He thinks that three nicely painted totem poles would enhance the appeal of our Indian camps. He’s also going to gift us three dozen pink rompers for the babies. Pink is a color that the superintendent of this asylum loves, as he’s really tired of blue! Our generous friend is also entertaining the idea of a couple of donkeys, saddles, and a little red cart. Isn’t it great that Gordon's father took such good care of him and that he’s such a giving young man? He’s currently having lunch with Percy at the hotel, and I hope he’s getting some fresh ideas in the area of philanthropy.
Perhaps you think I haven't enjoyed this interruption to the monotony of institution life! You can say all you please, my dear Mrs. Pendleton, about how well I am managing your asylum, but, just the same, it isn't natural for me to be so stationary. I very frequently need a change. That is why Gordon, with his bubbling optimism and boyish spirits, is so exhilarating especially as a contrast to too much doctor.
Perhaps you think I haven't enjoyed this break from the monotony of life in the institution! You can say whatever you want, my dear Mrs. Pendleton, about how well I’m running your asylum, but honestly, it’s not natural for me to be so immobile. I often crave a change. That’s why Gordon, with his infectious optimism and youthful energy, is so refreshing, especially compared to too much time with the doctors.
Sunday morning.
Sunday morning.
I must tell you the end of Gordon's visit. His intention had been to leave at four, but in an evil moment I begged him to stay over till 9:30, and yesterday afternoon he and Singapore and I took a long 'cross-country walk, far out of sight of the towers of this asylum, and stopped at a pretty little roadside inn, where we had a satisfying supper of ham and eggs and cabbage. Sing stuffed so disgracefully that he has been languid ever since.
I have to share what happened at the end of Gordon's visit. He originally planned to leave at four, but in a weak moment, I convinced him to stay until 9:30. Yesterday afternoon, he, Singapore, and I went on a long walk through the countryside, well away from the towers of this place, and we stopped at a charming little inn by the road, where we enjoyed a hearty dinner of ham, eggs, and cabbage. Sing ate so much that he’s been feeling sluggish ever since.
The walk and all was fun, and a very grateful change from this monotonous life I lead. It would have kept me pleasant and contented for weeks if something most unpleasant hadn't happened later. We had a beautiful, sunny, carefree afternoon, and I'm sorry to have had it spoiled. We came back very unromantically in the trolley car, and reached the J. G. H. before nine, just in good time for him to run on to the station and catch his train. So I didn't ask him to come in, but politely wished him a pleasant journey at the porte-cochere.
The walk was enjoyable, a refreshing break from my boring routine. It would have kept me happy for weeks if something unpleasant hadn't happened later. We had a lovely, sunny afternoon, and I regret that it got ruined. We returned in a very unromantic trolley car and got to the J. G. H. before nine, just in time for him to rush to the station and catch his train. So, I didn’t invite him in but politely wished him a good journey at the porte-cochere.
A car was standing at the side of the drive, in the shadow of the house. I recognized it, and thought the doctor was inside with Mr. Witherspoon. (They frequently spend their evenings together in the laboratory.) Well, Gordon, at the moment of parting, was seized with an unfortunate impulse to ask me to abandon the management of this asylum, and take over the management of a private house instead.
A car was parked by the driveway, in the shadow of the house. I recognized it and figured the doctor was inside with Mr. Witherspoon. (They often spend their evenings together in the lab.) Well, just before we parted, Gordon had a sudden urge to ask me to give up running this asylum and manage a private residence instead.
Did you ever know anything like the man? He had the whole afternoon and miles of empty meadow in which to discuss the question, but instead he must choose our door mat!
Did you ever meet anyone like that guy? He had the whole afternoon and endless fields to talk about the issue, but instead, he had to pick our doormat!
I don't know just what I did say. I tried to turn it off lightly and hurry him to his train. But he refused to be turned off lightly. He braced himself against a post and insisted upon arguing it out. I knew that he was missing his train, and that every window in this institution was open. A man never has the slightest thought of possible overhearers. It is always the woman who thinks of convention.
I’m not sure what exactly I said. I tried to brush it off and rush him to his train. But he wouldn’t let it go easily. He leaned against a post and insisted on working it out. I realized he was going to miss his train and that all the windows in this place were open. A guy never thinks about anyone possibly overhearing. It’s always the woman who considers what’s proper.
Being in a nervous twitter to get rid of him, I suppose I was pretty abrupt and tactless. He began to get angry, and then by some unlucky chance his eye fell on that car. He recognized it, too, and, being in a savage mood, he began making fun of the doctor. "Old Goggle-eyes" he called him, and "Scatchy," and oh, the awfullest lot of unmannerly, silly things!
Being a nervous wreck trying to get rid of him, I guess I was pretty rude and insensitive. He started getting angry, and then by some unfortunate luck, his eyes landed on that car. He recognized it, too, and in a cruel mood, he started mocking the doctor. He called him "Old Goggle-eyes" and "Scatchy," and just spewed the most ridiculous, rude things!
I was assuring him with convincing earnestness that I didn't care a rap about the doctor, that I thought he was just as funny and impossible as he could be, when suddenly the doctor rose out of his car and walked up to us.
I was confidently telling him that I didn't care at all about the doctor, that I thought he was as amusing and ridiculous as he could be, when suddenly the doctor got out of his car and walked up to us.
I could have evaporated from the earth very comfortably at that moment!
I could have vanished from the earth easily at that moment!
Sandy was quite clearly angry, as well he might be, after the things he'd heard, but he was entirely cold and collected. Gordon was hot, and bursting with imaginary wrongs. I was aghast at this perfectly foolish and unnecessary muddle that had suddenly arisen out of nothing. Sandy apologized to me with unimpeachable politeness for inadvertently overhearing, and then turned to Gordon and stiffly invited him to get into his car and ride to the station.
Sandy was clearly angry, as he had every right to be after what he’d heard, but he remained completely calm and composed. Gordon was upset and filled with imagined grievances. I was shocked by this ridiculous and pointless mess that had suddenly come out of nowhere. Sandy politely apologized to me for accidentally overhearing, and then turned to Gordon and formally invited him to get into his car and drive to the station.
I begged him not to go. I didn't wish to be the cause of any silly quarrel between them. But without paying the slightest attention to me, they climbed into the car, and whirled away, leaving me placidly standing on the door mat.
I pleaded with him not to leave. I didn’t want to be the reason for any pointless argument between them. But without paying me any mind, they got into the car and drove off, leaving me calmly standing on the doormat.
I came in and went to bed, and lay awake for hours, expecting to hear—I don't know what kind of explosion. It is now eleven o'clock, and the doctor hasn't appeared. I don't know how on earth I shall meet him when he does. I fancy I shall hide in the clothes closet.
I came in and went to bed, and lay there awake for hours, expecting to hear—I don't know what kind of explosion. It’s now eleven o'clock, and the doctor hasn’t shown up. I have no idea how I’ll face him when he finally arrives. I think I might just hide in the clothes closet.
Did you ever know anything as unnecessary and stupid as this whole situation? I suppose now I've quarreled with Gordon,—and I positively don't know over what,—and of course my relations with the doctor are going to be terribly awkward. I said horrid things about him,—you know the silly way I talk,—things I didn't mean in the least.
Did you ever think of anything as pointless and foolish as this entire situation? I guess I’ve argued with Gordon—and I honestly have no idea why—and of course, my relationship with the doctor is going to be really uncomfortable. I said awful things about him—you know how I can be—things I didn’t mean at all.
I wish it were yesterday at this time. I would make Gordon go at four.
I wish it were yesterday at this time. I would have Gordon go at four.
SALLIE.
SALLIE.
Sunday afternoon.
Sunday afternoon.
Dear Dr. MacRae:
Hi Dr. MacRae:
That was a horrid, stupid, silly business last night. But by this time you must know me well enough to realize that I never mean the foolish things I say. My tongue has no slightest connection with my brain; it just runs along by itself. I must seem to you very ungrateful for all the help you have given me in this unaccustomed work and for the patience you have (occasionally) shown.
That was a terrible, foolish, ridiculous situation last night. But by now, you must know me well enough to understand that I never mean the silly things I say. My mouth has no real connection to my brain; it just goes off on its own. I probably seem very ungrateful for all the help you’ve given me in this unfamiliar task and for the patience you have (sometimes) shown.
I do appreciate the fact that I could never have run this asylum by myself without your responsible presence in the background. And though once in a while, as you yourself must acknowledge, you have been pretty impatient and bad tempered and difficult, still I have never held it up against you, and I really didn't mean any of the ill-mannered things I said last night. Please forgive me for being rude. I should hate very much to lose your friendship. And we are friends, are we not? I like to think so.
I really appreciate that I could never have managed this asylum on my own without your responsible support behind the scenes. And even though, as you know, you’ve been a bit impatient and hard to deal with at times, I’ve never held that against you. I honestly didn’t mean any of the rude things I said last night. Please forgive me for being disrespectful. I would really hate to lose your friendship. We are friends, right? I like to believe so.
S. McB.
S. McB.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
I am sure I haven't an idea whether or not the doctor and I have made up our differences. I sent him a polite note of apology, which he received in abysmal silence. He didn't come near us until this afternoon, and he hasn't by the blink of an eyelash referred to our unfortunate contretemps. We talked exclusively about an ichthyol salve that will remove eczema from a baby's scalp; then, Sadie Kate being present, the conversation turned to cats. It seems that the doctor's Maltese cat has four kittens, and Sadie Kate will not be silenced until she has seen them. Before I knew what was happening I found myself making an engagement to take her to see those miserable kittens at four o'clock tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not sure if the doctor and I have resolved our differences. I sent him a polite apology note, which he received without any response. He didn't approach us until this afternoon, and he hasn't mentioned our awkward situation at all. We only talked about an ichthyol salve that can clear up eczema on a baby's scalp; then, with Sadie Kate there, the conversation switched to cats. Apparently, the doctor's Maltese cat has four kittens, and Sadie Kate won’t stop insisting that she wants to see them. Before I knew it, I found myself agreeing to take her to see those poor kittens at four o'clock tomorrow afternoon.
Whereupon the doctor, with an indifferently polite bow, took himself off. And that apparently is the end.
Whereupon the doctor, with a casually polite bow, took his leave. And that seems to be the end.
Your Sunday note arrives, and I am delighted to hear that you have taken the house. It will be beautiful having you for a neighbor for so long. Our improvements ought to march along, with you and the president at our elbow. But it does seem as though, you ought to get out here before August 7. Are you sure that city air is good for you just now? I have never known so devoted a wife.
Your Sunday note just came in, and I'm thrilled to hear that you've taken the house. It will be great having you as a neighbor for so long. Our improvements should progress nicely with you and the president by our side. But it really seems like you should get out here before August 7. Are you sure that city air is good for you right now? I've never known such a devoted wife.
My respects to the president.
Respect to the president.
S. McB.
S. McB.
July 22.
July 22nd.
Dear Judy:
Dear Judy,
Please listen to this!
Please check this out!
At four o'clock I took Sadie Kate to the doctor's house to look at those cats. But Freddy Howland just twenty minutes before had fallen downstairs, so the doctor was at the Howland house occupying himself with Freddy's collarbone. He had left word for us to sit down and wait, that he would be back shortly.
At four o'clock, I took Sadie Kate to the doctor's place to check out those cats. But Freddy Howland had fallen down the stairs just twenty minutes earlier, so the doctor was at the Howland house taking care of Freddy's collarbone. He had left a message for us to sit down and wait, saying he would be back soon.
Mrs. McGurk ushered us into the library; and then, not to leave us alone, came in herself on a pretense of polishing the brass. I don't know what she thought we'd do! Run off with the pelican perhaps.
Mrs. McGurk led us into the library; and then, not wanting to leave us alone, she came in herself pretending to polish the brass. I have no idea what she thought we would do! Maybe make off with the pelican or something.
I settled down to an article about the Chinese situation in the Century, and Sadie Kate roamed about at large examining everything she found, like a curious little mongoose.
I sat down to read an article about the situation in China in the Century, while Sadie Kate wandered around exploring everything she came across, like a curious little mongoose.
She commenced with his stuffed flamingo and wanted to know what made it so tall and what made it so red. Did it always eat frogs, and had it hurt its other foot? She ticks off questions with the steady persistency of an eight-day clock.
She started with his stuffed flamingo and wanted to know what made it so tall and what made it so red. Did it always eat frogs, and had it hurt its other foot? She fired off questions with the steady persistence of an eight-day clock.
I buried myself in my article and left Mrs. McGurk to deal with Sadie. Finally, after she had worked half-way around the room, she came to a portrait of a little girl occupying a leather frame in the center of the doctor's writing desk—a child with a queer elf-like beauty, resembling very strangely our little Allegra. This photograph might have been a portrait of Allegra grown five years older. I had noticed the picture the night we took supper with the doctor, and had meant to ask which of his little patients she was. Happily I didn't!
I focused on my article and let Mrs. McGurk handle Sadie. After she had made her way around the room, she stopped at a portrait of a little girl in a leather frame on the doctor's writing desk—a child with an unusual elf-like beauty, very much resembling our little Allegra. This photo could have easily been a picture of Allegra five years older. I had seen the picture the night we had dinner with the doctor and meant to ask which of his young patients she was. Luckily, I didn’t!
"Who's that?" said Sadie Kate, pouncing upon it.
"Who's that?" Sadie Kate asked, jumping on it.
"It's the docthor's little gurrl."
"It's the doctor's little girl."
"Where is she?"
"Where is she at?"
"Shure, she's far away wit' her gran'ma."
"Sure, she's far away with her grandma."
"Where'd he get her?"
"Where did he find her?"
"His wife give her to him."
"His wife gave her to him."
I emerged from my book with electric suddenness.
I suddenly came out of my book with a jolt.
"His wife!" I cried.
"His wife!" I shouted.
The next instant I was furious with myself for having spoken, but I was so completely taken off my guard. Mrs. McGurk straightened up and became volubly conversational at once.
The next moment, I was angry with myself for having said anything, but I was so completely caught off guard. Mrs. McGurk straightened up and instantly became chatty.
"And didn't he never tell you about his wife? She went insane six years ago. It got so it weren't safe to keep her in the house, and he had to put her away. It near killed him. I never seen a lady more beautiful than her. I guess he didn't so much as smile for a year. It's funny he never told you nothing, and you such a friend!"
"And didn’t he ever mention his wife? She went crazy six years ago. It got to the point where it wasn’t safe to keep her at home, so he had to put her in a facility. It almost broke him. I’ve never seen a woman more beautiful than she was. I don’t think he smiled for a whole year. It’s strange he never told you anything, especially since you’re such a good friend!"
"Naturally it's not a subject he cares to talk about," said I dryly, and I asked her what kind of brass polish she used.
"Of course, it’s not a topic he likes to discuss," I said dryly, and I asked her what kind of brass polish she used.
Sadie Kate and I went out to the garage and hunted up the kittens ourselves; and we mercifully got away before the doctor came back.
Sadie Kate and I went out to the garage and found the kittens ourselves; and we thankfully got away before the doctor returned.
But will you tell me what this means? Didn't Jervis know he was married? It's the queerest thing I ever heard. I do think, as the McGurk suggests, that Sandy might casually have dropped the information that he had a wife in an insane asylum.
But can you tell me what this means? Didn’t Jervis know he was married? It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. I really think, as the McGurk suggests, that Sandy might have casually mentioned that he had a wife in a mental hospital.
But of course it must be a terrible tragedy and I suppose he can't bring himself to talk about it. I see now why he's so morbid over the question of heredity—I dare say he fears for the little girl. When I think of all the jokes I've made on the subject, I'm aghast at how I must have hurt him, and angry with myself and angry with him.
But it must be a terrible tragedy, and I guess he can't bring himself to talk about it. Now I understand why he's so obsessed with heredity—I can only imagine he worries about the little girl. When I think of all the jokes I've made about it, I'm shocked at how much I must have hurt him, and I'm frustrated with myself and with him.
I feel as though I never wanted to see the man again. Mercy! did you ever know such a muddle as we are getting ourselves into?
I feel like I never want to see that guy again. Wow! Have you ever seen such a mess as the one we're getting ourselves into?
Yours, SALLIE.
Best, SALLIE.
P.S. Tom McCoomb has pushed Mamie Prout into the box of mortar that the masons use. She's parboiled. I've sent for the doctor.
P.S. Tom McCoomb has pushed Mamie Prout into the mortar box that the masons use. She's badly burned. I've called for the doctor.
July 24. My dear Madam:
July 24. Dear Madam:
I have a shocking scandal to report about the superintendent of the John Grier Home. Don't let it get into the newspapers, please. I can picture the spicy details of the investigation prior to her removal by the "Cruelty."
I have a shocking scandal to report about the superintendent of the John Grier Home. Please don't let it get into the newspapers. I can imagine the juicy details of the investigation before her removal by the "Cruelty."
I was sitting in the sunshine by my open window this morning reading a sweet book on the Froebel theory of child culture—never lose your temper, always speak kindly to the little ones. Though they may appear bad, they are not so in reality. It is either that they are not feeling well or have nothing interesting to do. Never punish; simply deflect their attention. I was entertaining a very loving, uplifted attitude toward all this young life about me when my attention was attracted by a group of little boys beneath the window.
I was sitting in the sunshine by my open window this morning reading a nice book about the Froebel theory of child development—never lose your temper, always speak kindly to the little ones. Even if they seem difficult, they really aren’t. It’s either that they’re not feeling well or they don’t have anything interesting to do. Never punish; just redirect their attention. I was feeling very loving and positive about all this youth around me when I noticed a group of little boys beneath the window.
"Aw—John—don't hurt it!"
"Aw—John—don't damage it!"
"Let it go!"
"Move on!"
"Kill it quick!"
"Finish it quickly!"
And above their remonstrances rose the agonized squealing of some animal in pain. I dropped Froebel and, running downstairs, burst upon them from the side door. They saw me coming, and scattered right and left, revealing Johnnie Cobden engaged in torturing a mouse. I will spare you the grisly details. I called to one of the boys to come and drown the creature quick! John I seized by the collar; and dragged him squirming and kicking in at the kitchen door. He is a big, hulking boy of thirteen, and he fought like a little tiger, holding on to posts and doorjambs as we passed. Ordinarily I doubt if I could have handled him, but that one sixteenth Irish that I possess was all on top, and I was fighting mad. We burst into the kitchen, and I hastily looked about for a means of chastisement. The pancake turner was the first utensil that met my eyes. I seized it and beat that child with all my strength, until I had reduced him to a cowering, whimpering mendicant for mercy, instead of the fighting little bully he had been four minutes before.
And above their protests rose the agonized squealing of some animal in pain. I dropped Froebel and, running downstairs, burst in through the side door. They saw me coming and scattered in all directions, revealing Johnnie Cobden torturing a mouse. I’ll spare you the grisly details. I called to one of the boys to come and drown the creature quickly! I grabbed John by the collar and dragged him in, squirming and kicking, through the kitchen door. He’s a big, hulking boy of thirteen, and he fought like a little tiger, gripping onto posts and doorjambs as we passed. Normally, I doubt I could have handled him, but that one sixteenth of Irish blood I have was all riled up, and I was furious. We burst into the kitchen, and I quickly looked around for something to punish him with. The pancake turner was the first utensil I saw. I grabbed it and whacked that kid with all my strength until he was reduced to a cowering, whimpering beggar for mercy instead of the little bully he had been just four minutes earlier.
And then who should suddenly burst into the midst of this explosion but Dr. MacRae! His face was blank with astonishment. He strode over and took the pancake turner out of my hand and set the boy on his feet. Johnnie got behind him and clung! I was so angry that I really couldn't talk. It was all I could do not to cry.
And then, out of nowhere, Dr. MacRae walked right into this chaos! His face was totally shocked. He came over, took the pancake flipper from my hand, and stood the boy up. Johnnie got behind him and held on tight! I was so furious that I couldn't even speak. I was barely able to keep myself from crying.
"Come, we will take him up to the office," was all the doctor said. And we marched out, Johnnie keeping as far from me as possible and limping conspicuously. We left him in the outer office, and went into my library and shut the door.
"Come on, let's take him to the office," the doctor said. We walked out, with Johnnie staying as far from me as he could and limping noticeably. We left him in the outer office and went into my library, shutting the door behind us.
"What in the world has the child done?" he asked.
"What on earth has the kid done?" he asked.
At that I simply laid my head down on the table and began to cry! I was utterly exhausted both emotionally and physically. It had taken all the strength I possessed to make the pancake turner effective.
At that, I just laid my head down on the table and started to cry! I was completely worn out, both emotionally and physically. It had taken all the strength I had to make the pancake turner work.
I sobbed out all the bloody details, and he told me not to think about it; the mouse was dead now. Then he got me some water to drink, and told me to keep on crying till I was tired; it would do me good. I am not sure that he didn't pat me on the head! Anyway, it was his best professional manner. I have watched him administer the same treatment a dozen times to hysterical orphans. And this was the first time in a week that we had spoken beyond the formality of "good morning"!
I cried out all the horrible details, and he told me not to dwell on it; the mouse was gone now. Then he got me a glass of water and told me to keep crying until I was worn out; it would help. I'm not sure he didn't give me a pat on the head! Anyway, it was his best professional approach. I've seen him use the same method many times on upset orphans. And this was the first time in a week that we talked beyond just saying "good morning"!
Well, as soon as I had got to the stage where I could sit up and laugh, intermittently dabbing my eyes with a wad of handkerchief, we began a review of Johnnie's case. The boy has a morbid heredity, and may be slightly defective, says Sandy. We must deal with the fact as we would with any other disease. Even normal boys are often cruel. A child's moral sense is undeveloped at thirteen.
Well, as soon as I was able to sit up and laugh, occasionally wiping my eyes with a tissue, we started reviewing Johnnie's case. Sandy says the boy has a troubled family history and might be a bit impaired. We need to handle this just like we would any other illness. Even typical boys can be cruel. A child's sense of right and wrong is not fully formed at thirteen.
Then he suggested that I bathe my eyes with hot water and resume my dignity. Which I did. And we had Johnnie in. He stood—by preference—through the entire interview. The doctor talked to him, oh, so sensibly and kindly and humanely! John put up the plea that the mouse was a pest and ought to be killed. The doctor replied that the welfare of the human race demanded the sacrifice of many animals for its own good, not for revenge, but that the sacrifice must be carried out with the least possible hurt to the animal. He explained about the mouse's nervous system, and how the poor little creature had no means of defense. It was a cowardly thing to hurt it wantonly. He told John to try to develop imagination enough to look at things from the other person's point of view, even if the other person was only a mouse. Then he went to the bookcase and took down my copy of Burns, and told the boy what a great poet he was, and how all Scotchmen loved his memory.
Then he suggested that I wash my eyes with hot water and regain my composure. So I did. We had Johnnie come in. He preferred to stand throughout the entire interview. The doctor spoke to him in such a sensible, kind, and humane manner! John argued that the mouse was a pest and needed to be eliminated. The doctor responded that the well-being of humanity required sacrificing many animals for its own benefit, not out of revenge, but that this sacrifice should be done with the least harm possible to the animal. He explained the mouse's nervous system and how the poor little creature had no way of defending itself. It was cowardly to hurt it without reason. He urged John to try to cultivate enough imagination to see things from another's perspective, even if that other being was just a mouse. Then he went to the bookcase, took down my copy of Burns, and told the boy what a great poet he was and how all Scots cherished his legacy.
"And this is what he wrote about a mouse," said Sandy, turning to the "Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, timorous beastie," which he read and explained to the lad as only a Scotchman could.
"And this is what he wrote about a mouse," Sandy said, turning to the "Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, timorous beastie," which he read and explained to the boy in a way that only a Scotsman could.
Johnnie departed penitent, and Sandy redirected his professional attention to me. He said I was tired and in need of a change. Why not go to the Adirondacks for a week? He and Betsy and Mr. Witherspoon would make themselves into a committee to run the asylum.
Johnnie left feeling sorry for himself, and Sandy turned his focus to me. He mentioned that I looked tired and needed a change. Why not head to the Adirondacks for a week? He, Betsy, and Mr. Witherspoon would form a committee to manage the asylum.
You know, that's exactly what I was longing to do! I need a shifting of ideas and some pine-scented air. My family opened the camp last week, and think I'm awful not to join them. They won't understand that when you accept a position like this you can't casually toss it aside whenever you feel like it. But for a few days I can easily manage. My asylum is wound up like an eight-day clock, and will run until a week from next Monday at 4 P.M., when my train will return me. Then I shall be comfortably settled again before you arrive, and with no errant fancies in my brain.
You know, that’s exactly what I wanted to do! I need a change of scenery and some fresh pine-scented air. My family opened the camp last week, and they probably think I'm terrible for not joining them. They won’t get that when you take a job like this, you can't just walk away whenever you want. But I can manage a few days. My schedule is set like an eight-day clock, and will go until a week from next Monday at 4 PM, when my train brings me back. Then I’ll be all settled in again before you arrive, and without any distracting thoughts in my head.
Meanwhile Master John is in a happily chastened frame of mind and body. And I rather suspect that Sandy's moralizing had the more force because it was preceded by my pancake turner! But one thing I know—Suzanne Estelle is terrified whenever I step into her kitchen. I casually picked up the potato-masher this morning while I was commenting upon last night's over-salty soup, and she ran to cover behind the woodshed door.
Meanwhile, Master John is in a content and humble state of mind and body. And I have a feeling that Sandy's preaching had more impact because it came right after I used my pancake turner! But one thing I know for sure—Suzanne Estelle gets really scared whenever I walk into her kitchen. I casually picked up the potato masher this morning while talking about last night's overly salty soup, and she dashed to hide behind the woodshed door.
Tomorrow at nine I set out on my travels, after preparing the way with five telegrams. And, oh! you can't imagine how I'm looking forward to being a gay, carefree young thing again—to canoeing on the lake and tramping in the woods and dancing at the clubhouse. I was in a state of delirium all night long at the prospect. Really, I hadn't realized how mortally tired I had become of all this asylum scenery.
Tomorrow at nine, I’m heading out on my trip after sending five telegrams to get everything ready. And wow! You can't imagine how excited I am to be a fun, carefree young person again—to canoe on the lake, hike in the woods, and dance at the clubhouse. I was in a state of pure excitement all night just thinking about it. Honestly, I hadn’t realized how completely worn out I was from all this hospital atmosphere.
"What you need," said Sandy to me, "is to get away for a little and sow some wild oats."
"What you need," Sandy said to me, "is to get away for a bit and have some fun."
That diagnosis was positively clairvoyant. I can't think of anything in the world I'd rather do than sow a few wild oats. I'll come back with fresh energy, ready to welcome you and a busy summer.
That diagnosis was spot-on. I can't think of anything I'd rather do than have some fun and make some memories. I'll return with renewed energy, all set to embrace you and a busy summer.
As ever,
As always,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
P.S. Jimmie and Gordon are both going to be up there. How I wish you could join us! A husband is very discommoding.
P.S. Jimmie and Gordon are both going to be up there. I really wish you could join us! Having a husband is quite inconvenient.
CAMP McBRIDE,
CAMP McBRIDE,
July 29.
July 29th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
This is to tell you that the mountains are higher than usual, the woods greener, and the lake bluer.
This is to let you know that the mountains are taller than usual, the woods are greener, and the lake is bluer.
People seem late about coming up this year. The Harrimans' camp is the only other one at our end of the lake that is open. The clubhouse is very scantily supplied with dancing men, but we have as house guest an obliging young politician who likes to dance, so I am not discommoded by the general scarcity.
People seem to be late arriving this year. The Harrimans' camp is the only other one at our end of the lake that is open. The clubhouse has very few dancing men, but we have an accommodating young politician staying with us who enjoys dancing, so I'm not bothered by the overall shortage.
The affairs of the nation and the rearing of orphans are alike delegated to the background while we paddle about among the lily pads of this delectable lake. I look forward with reluctance to 7:56 next Monday morning, when I turn my back on the mountains. The awful thing about a vacation is that the moment it begins your happiness is already clouded by its approaching end.
The issues of the country and taking care of orphans are both pushed to the side while we float around among the lily pads of this beautiful lake. I’m not looking forward to 7:56 next Monday morning, when I’ll have to leave the mountains behind. The worst part about a vacation is that as soon as it starts, your enjoyment is already overshadowed by the thought of it coming to an end.
I hear a voice on the veranda asking if Sallie is to be found within or without.
I hear a voice on the porch asking if Sallie is inside or outside.
ADDIO! S.
Goodbye! S.
August 3.
August 3rd.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Back at the John Grier, reshouldering the burdens of the coming generation. What should meet my eyes upon entering these grounds but John Cobden, of pancake turner memory, wearing a badge upon his sleeve. I turned it to me and read "S. P. C. A." in letters of gold! The doctor, during my absence, has formed a local branch of the Cruelty to Animals, and made Johnnie its president.
Back at the John Grier, taking on the challenges of the next generation. What should greet me when I walked onto the grounds but John Cobden, the guy famous for his pancake flipper, sporting a badge on his sleeve. I turned it toward me and read "S. P. C. A." in gold letters! While I was away, the doctor set up a local branch of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and made Johnnie its president.
I hear that yesterday he stopped the workmen on the foundation for the new farm cottage and scolded them severely for whipping their horses up the incline! None of all this strikes any one but me as funny.
I heard that yesterday he stopped the workers on the foundation for the new farm cottage and scolded them harshly for pushing their horses up the hill! None of this seems funny to anyone but me.
There's a lot of news, but with you due in four days, why bother to write? Just one delicious bit I am saving for the end.
There's a lot going on in the news, but since you're coming in four days, why even bother writing? Just one tasty piece I'm saving for last.
So hold your breath. You are going to receive a thrill on page 4. You should hear Sadie Kate squeal! Jane is cutting her hair.
So hold your breath. You're about to get a thrill on page 4. You should hear Sadie Kate squeal! Jane is cutting her hair.
Instead of wearing it in two tight braids like this—our little colleen will in the future look like this—
Instead of wearing it in two tight braids like this—our little girl will in the future look like this—
"Them pigtails got on my nerves," says Jane.
"Their pigtails annoyed me," says Jane.
You can see how much more stylish and becoming the present coiffure is. I think somebody will be wanting to adopt her. Only Sadie Kate is such an independent, manly little creature; she is eminently fitted by nature to shift for herself. I must save adopting parents for the helpless ones.
You can see how much more stylish and flattering the current hairstyle is. I think someone will want to adopt her. But Sadie Kate is such an independent, strong little person; she's naturally suited to take care of herself. I need to save adoptive parents for those who really need help.
You should see our new clothes! I can't wait for this assemblage of rosebuds to burst upon you. And you should have seen those blue ginghamed eyes brighten when the new frocks were actually given out—three for each girl, all different colors, and all perfectly private personal property, with the owner's indelible name inside the collar. Mrs. Lippett's lazy system of having each child draw from the wash a promiscuous dress each week, was an insult to feminine nature.
You have to check out our new clothes! I'm so excited for this collection of rosebuds to be revealed to you. And you should have seen those blue gingham eyes light up when the new dresses were handed out—three for each girl, in all different colors, and all totally personal property, with the owner's name permanently stitched inside the collar. Mrs. Lippett's laid-back approach of having each girl randomly pick a dress from the laundry each week was such a disrespect to feminine nature.
Sadie Kate is squealing like a baby pig. I must go to see if Jane has by mistake clipped off an ear.
Sadie Kate is squealing like a baby pig. I need to check if Jane accidentally clipped off an ear.
Jane hasn't. Sadie's excellent ears are still intact. She is just squealing on principle; the way one does in a dentist's chair, under the belief that it is going to hurt the next instant.
Jane hasn't. Sadie's great hearing is still fine. She's just squealing out of habit; like you do in a dentist's chair, thinking it'll hurt any second.
I really can't think of anything else to write except my news,—so here it is,—and I hope you'll like it.
I can't think of anything else to say except for my news—so here it is—and I hope you enjoy it.
I am engaged to be married.
I'm getting married.
My love to you both.
Love to you both.
S. McB.
S. McB.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
November 15.
November 15th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Betsy and I are just back from a GIRO in our new motor car. It undoubtedly does add to the pleasure of institution life. The car of its own accord turned up Long Ridge Road, and stopped before the gates of Shadywell. The chains were up, and the shutters battened down, and the place looked closed and gloomy and rain-soaked. It wore a sort of fall of the House of Usher air, and didn't in the least resemble the cheerful house that used to greet me hospitably of an afternoon.
Betsy and I just got back from a drive in our new car. It definitely makes life at the institution more enjoyable. The car automatically turned up Long Ridge Road and stopped in front of the gates of Shadywell. The chains were up, and the shutters were closed, making the place look dark, depressing, and drenched from the rain. It had a sort of eerie vibe, reminiscent of the House of Usher, and didn't at all resemble the welcoming house that used to greet me kindly in the afternoons.
I hate to have our nice summer ended. It seems as though a section of my life was shut away behind me, and the unknown future was pressing awfully close. Positively, I'd like to postpone that wedding another six months, but I'm afraid poor Gordon would make too dreadful a fuss. Don't think I'm getting wobbly, for I'm not. It's just that somehow I need more time to think about it, and March is getting nearer every day. I know absolutely that I'm doing the most sensible thing. Everybody, man or woman, is the better for being nicely and appropriately and cheerfully married. But oh dear! oh dear! I do hate upheavals, and this is going to be such a world-without-end upheaval! Sometimes when the day's work is over, and I'm tired, I haven't the spirit to rise and meet it.
I really hate that our nice summer is over. It feels like a part of my life has been locked away behind me, and the unknown future is looming uncomfortably close. Honestly, I’d love to postpone that wedding for another six months, but I’m worried that poor Gordon would throw a fit. Don’t think I’m getting cold feet, because I’m not. It’s just that I somehow need more time to think it through, and March is getting closer every day. I know for sure that I’m making the most sensible choice. Everyone, man or woman, is better off being happily and appropriately married. But oh dear! I really do hate major changes, and this is going to be such a huge upheaval! Sometimes, after a long day at work, when I’m tired, I just don’t have the energy to face it.
And now especially since you've bought Shadywell, and are going to be here every summer, I resent having to leave. Next year, when I'm far away, I'll be consumed with homesickness, thinking of all the busy, happy times at the John Grier, with you and Betsy and Percy and our grumbly Scotchman working away cheerfully without me. How can anything ever make up to a mother for the loss of 107 children?
And now, especially since you've bought Shadywell and are planning to be here every summer, I really don't want to leave. Next year, when I'm far away, I'll be overwhelmed with homesickness, thinking about all the fun, busy times at the John Grier, with you, Betsy, and Percy, while our grumpy Scottish friend works away happily without me. How can anything ever compensate a mother for the loss of 107 children?
I trust that Judy, junior, stood the journey into town without upsetting her usual poise. I am sending her a bit giftie, made partly by myself and chiefly by Jane. But two rows, I must inform you, were done by the doctor. One only gradually plumbs the depths of Sandy's nature. After a ten-months' acquaintance with the man, I discover that he knows how to knit, an accomplishment he picked up in his boyhood from an old shepherd on the Scotch moors.
I hope that Judy Jr. managed the trip to town without losing her usual composure. I’m sending her a small gift, partly made by me and mostly by Jane. But I should mention that two rows were done by the doctor. It takes time to really understand Sandy's character. After knowing the guy for ten months, I find out that he knows how to knit, a skill he learned in his childhood from an old shepherd on the Scottish moors.
He dropped in three days ago and stayed for tea, really in almost his old friendly mood. But he has since stiffened up again to the same man of granite we knew all summer. I've given up trying to make him out. I suppose, however, that any one might be expected to be a bit down with a wife in an insane asylum. I wish he'd talk about it once. It's awful having such a shadow hovering in the background of your thoughts and never coming out into plain sight.
He stopped by three days ago and stayed for tea, almost back to his old friendly self. But since then, he’s turned back into the same solid guy we knew all summer. I’ve stopped trying to figure him out. I guess anyone would feel a bit down with a wife in an asylum. I just wish he would talk about it once. It’s terrible having such a shadow hanging over your thoughts and never coming into the open.
I know that this letter doesn't contain a word of the kind of news that you like to hear. But it's that beastly twilight hour of a damp November day, and I'm in a beastly uncheerful mood. I'm awfully afraid that I am developing into a temperamental person, and Heaven knows Gordon can supply all the temperament that one family needs! I don't know where we'll land if I don't preserve my sensibly stolid, cheerful nature.
I know this letter doesn't have the kind of news you like to hear. But it's that annoying twilight hour of a damp November day, and I'm feeling pretty down. I'm really worried that I'm turning into a moody person, and God knows Gordon provides plenty of moodiness for one family! I don't know where we'll end up if I don't keep my sensible, cheerful attitude.
Have you really decided to go South with Jervis? I appreciate your feeling (to a slight extent) about not wanting to be separated from a husband; but it does seem sort of hazardous to me to move so young a daughter to the tropics.
Have you really decided to go South with Jervis? I understand your feelings (just a bit) about not wanting to be apart from your husband, but it seems kind of risky to me to take such a young daughter to the tropics.
The children are playing blind man's buff in the lower corridor. I think I'll have a romp with them, and try to be in a more affable mood before resuming my pen.
The kids are playing blind man’s bluff in the lower hallway. I think I’ll join them for some fun and try to get in a better mood before I go back to writing.
A BIENTOT! SALLIE.
See you soon! Sallie.
P.S. These November nights are pretty cold, and we are getting ready to move the camps indoors. Our Indians are very pampered young savages at present, with a double supply of blankets and hot-water bottles. I shall hate to see the camps go; they have done a lot for us. Our lads will be as tough as Canadian trappers when they come in.
P.S. These November nights are really cold, and we’re getting ready to move the camps inside. Our guys are pretty spoiled right now, with extra blankets and hot-water bottles. I’ll hate to see the camps go; they’ve done a lot for us. Our boys will be as tough as Canadian trappers when they come in.
November 20.
November 20th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Your motherly solicitude is sweet, but I didn't mean what I said.
Your caring concern is kind, but I didn't mean what I said.
Of course it's perfectly safe to convey Judy, junior, to the temperately tropical lands that are washed by the Caribbean. She'll thrive as long as you don't set her absolutely on top of the equator. And your bungalow, shaded by palms and fanned by sea breezes, with an ice machine in the back yard and an English doctor across the bay, sounds made for the rearing of babies.
Of course, it’s completely safe to take Judy, junior, to the warm tropical areas by the Caribbean. She’ll do well as long as you don’t put her right on the equator. And your bungalow, shaded by palm trees and cooled by sea breezes, with an ice machine in the backyard and an English doctor across the bay, sounds perfect for raising babies.
My objections were all due to the selfish fact that I and the John Grier are going to be lonely without you this winter. I really think it's entrancing to have a husband who engages in such picturesque pursuits as financing tropical railroads and developing asphalt lakes and rubber groves and mahogany forests. I wish that Gordon would take to life in those picturesque countries; I'd be more thrilled by the romantic possibilities of the future. Washington seems awfully commonplace compared with Honduras and Nicaragua and the islands of the Caribbean.
My objections were all because I and John Grier are going to feel lonely without you this winter. I honestly think it's fascinating to have a husband who gets involved in such colorful activities like funding tropical railroads and creating asphalt lakes and rubber plantations and mahogany forests. I wish Gordon would embrace life in those exotic countries; I’d be more excited about the romantic possibilities of the future. Washington feels so ordinary compared to Honduras, Nicaragua, and the Caribbean islands.
I'll be down to wave good-by.
I'll come down to say goodbye.
ADDIO! SALLIE.
Goodbye! Sallie.
November 24.
November 24th.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
Judy has gone back to town, and is sailing next week for Jamaica, where she is to make her headquarters while Jervis cruises about adjacent waters on these entertaining new ventures of his. Couldn't you engage in traffic in the South Seas? I think I'd feel pleasanter about leaving my asylum if you had something romantic and adventurous to offer instead. And think how beautiful you'd be in those white linen clothes! I really believe I might be able to stay in love with a man quite permanently if he always dressed in white.
Judy has returned to town and is set to sail next week for Jamaica, where she'll be based while Jervis explores the nearby waters on his exciting new adventures. Could you consider getting involved in trade in the South Seas? I think I'd feel better about leaving my safe place if you had something exciting and adventurous to offer instead. And just imagine how stunning you'd look in those white linen outfits! I honestly believe I could stay in love with a guy if he always wore white.
You can't imagine how I miss Judy. Her absence leaves a dreadful hole in my afternoons. Can't you run up for a week end soon? I think the sight of you would be very cheering, and I'm feeling awfully down of late. You know, my dear Gordon, I like you much better when you're right here before my eyes than when I merely think about you from a distance. I believe you must have a sort of hypnotic influence. Occasionally, after you've been away a long time, your spell wears a little thin. But when I see you, it all comes back. You've been away now a long, long time; so, please come fast and bewitch me over again!
You can't imagine how much I miss Judy. Her absence leaves a terrible gap in my afternoons. Can't you come up for a weekend soon? I think seeing you would really lift my spirits, and I've been feeling pretty down lately. You know, my dear Gordon, I prefer having you right in front of me rather than just thinking about you from afar. I swear you must have some kind of hypnotic effect. Sometimes, after you've been away for a while, your charm fades a bit. But when I see you, it all comes rushing back. You've been gone for a really long time now, so please hurry back and cast your spell on me again!
S.
S.
December 2.
December 2nd.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
Do you remember in college, when you and I used to plan our favorite futures, how we were forever turning our faces southward? And now to think it has really come true, and you are there, coasting around those tropical isles! Did you ever have such a thrill in the whole of your life, barring one or two connected with Jervis, as when you came up on deck in the early dawn and found yourself riding at anchor in the harbor of Kingston, with the water so blue and the palms so green and the beach so white?
Do you remember back in college when we used to daydream about our favorite futures, always looking southward? And now to think it’s actually happened, and you’re there, cruising around those tropical islands! Did you ever feel such a thrill in your life, except maybe for one or two moments with Jervis, as when you came up on deck in the early morning and realized you were anchored in the harbor of Kingston, with the water so blue, the palms so green, and the beach so white?
I remember when I first woke in that harbor. I felt like a heroine of grand opera surrounded by untruly beautiful painted scenery. Nothing in my four trips to Europe ever thrilled me like the queer sights and tastes and smells of those three warm weeks seven years ago. And ever since, I've panted to get back. When I stop to think about it, I can hardly bring myself to swallow our unexciting meals; I wish to be dining on curries and tamales and mangos. Isn't it funny? You'd think I must have a dash of Creole or Spanish or some warm blood in me somewhere, but I'm nothing on earth but a chilly mixture of English and Irish and Scotch. Perhaps that is why I hear the South calling. "The palm dreams of the pine, and the pine of the palm."
I remember when I first woke up in that harbor. I felt like a heroine from a grand opera, surrounded by unbelievably beautiful painted scenery. Nothing in my four trips to Europe ever excited me like the strange sights, tastes, and smells of those three warm weeks seven years ago. And ever since, I've longed to go back. When I think about it, I can hardly get myself to swallow our bland meals; I crave curries, tamales, and mangos. Isn’t it funny? You’d think I must have a bit of Creole or Spanish or some warm blood in me somewhere, but I’m really just a cold mix of English, Irish, and Scottish. Maybe that’s why I feel the South calling. “The palm dreams of the pine, and the pine of the palm.”
After seeing you off, I turned back to New York with an awful wander-thirst gnawing at my vitals. I, too, wanted to be starting off on my travels in a new blue hat and a new blue suit with a big bunch of violets in my hand. For five minutes I would cheerfully have said good-by forever to poor dear Gordon in return for the wide world to wander in. I suppose you are thinking they are not entirely incompatible—Gordon and the wide world—but I don't seem able to get your point of view about husbands. I see marriage as a man must, a good, sensible workaday institution; but awfully curbing to one's liberty. Somehow, after you're married forever, life has lost its feeling of adventure. There aren't any romantic possibilities waiting to surprise you around each corner.
After saying goodbye to you, I headed back to New York with a terrible urge to explore gnawing at my insides. I, too, wanted to be setting off on my adventures in a new blue hat and a new blue suit with a big bouquet of violets in my hand. For five minutes, I would have happily said goodbye forever to poor dear Gordon in exchange for the chance to roam the wide world. I guess you might think they aren’t completely incompatible—Gordon and the wide world—but I can't quite grasp your perspective on husbands. To me, marriage is a practical, sensible arrangement; but it really restricts your freedom. Somehow, once you're married for good, life loses its sense of adventure. There aren't any romantic surprises waiting for you around every corner.
The disgraceful truth is that one man doesn't seem quite enough for me. I like the variety of sensation that you get only from a variety of men. I'm afraid I've spent too flirtatious a youth, and it isn't easy for me to settle.
The embarrassing truth is that one man doesn’t feel like enough for me. I enjoy the different sensations that only come from being with different men. I’m afraid I’ve had too much fun in my youth, and it’s not easy for me to commit.
I seem to have a very wandering pen. To return: I saw you off, and took the ferry back to New York with a horribly empty feeling. After our intimate, gossipy three months together, it seems a terrible task to tell you my troubles in tones that will reach to the bottom of the continent. My ferry slid right under the nose of your steamer, and I could see you and Jervis plainly leaning on the rail. I waved frantically, but you never blinked an eyelash. Your gaze was fixed in homesick contemplation upon the top of the Woolworth Building.
I seem to have a very wandering pen. To go back: I saw you off and took the ferry back to New York feeling really empty. After our close, chatty three months together, it feels like a huge task to share my troubles in a way that travels all the way to the other end of the continent. My ferry slid right beneath your steamer, and I could see you and Jervis clearly leaning on the rail. I waved like crazy, but you didn’t even blink. Your gaze was lost in homesick thought, staring at the top of the Woolworth Building.
Back in New York, I took myself to a department store to accomplish a few trifles in the way of shopping. As I was entering through their revolving doors, who should be revolving in the other direction but Helen Brooks! We had a terrible time meeting, as I tried to go back out, and she tried to come back in; I thought we should revolve eternally. But we finally got together and shook hands, and she obligingly helped me choose fifteen dozen pairs of stockings and fifty caps and sweaters and two hundred union suits, and then we gossiped all the way up to Fifty-second Street, where we had luncheon at the Women's University Club.
Back in New York, I went to a department store to take care of a few shopping errands. As I was walking in through the revolving doors, who should be coming out but Helen Brooks! We had a hilarious time trying to meet, as I tried to go back out and she tried to come back in; it felt like we were stuck revolving forever. But we eventually managed to meet up, shook hands, and she kindly helped me pick out fifteen dozen pairs of stockings, fifty caps and sweaters, and two hundred union suits. Then we chatted all the way up to Fifty-second Street, where we had lunch at the Women's University Club.
I always liked Helen. She's not spectacular, but steady and dependable. Will you ever forget the way she took hold of that senior pageant committee and whipped it into shape after Mildred had made such a mess of it? How would she do here as a successor to me? I am filled with jealousy at the thought of a successor, but I suppose I must face it.
I always liked Helen. She's not amazing, but she's consistent and reliable. Will you ever forget how she took charge of that senior pageant committee and got it back on track after Mildred completely messed it up? How would she do stepping into my role? I'm really jealous at the idea of a successor, but I guess I have to deal with it.
"When did you last see Judy Abbott?" was Helen's first question.
"When did you last see Judy Abbott?" was Helen's first question.
"Fifteen minutes ago," said I. "She has just set sail for the Spanish main with a husband and daughter and nurse and maid and valet and dog."
"Fifteen minutes ago," I said. "She just left for the Spanish main with her husband, daughter, nurse, maid, valet, and dog."
"Has she a nice husband?"
"Does she have a nice husband?"
"None better."
"There's none better."
"And does she still like him?"
"And does she still like him?"
"Never saw a happier marriage."
"Never saw a happier marriage."
It struck me that Helen looked a trifle bleak, and I suddenly remembered all that gossip that Marty Keene told us last summer; so I hastily changed the conversation to a perfectly safe subject like orphans.
It hit me that Helen looked a bit down, and I suddenly recalled all that gossip Marty Keene shared with us last summer; so I quickly shifted the conversation to a completely safe topic like orphans.
But later she told me the whole story herself in as detached and impersonal a way as though she were discussing the characters in a book. She has been living alone in the city, hardly seeing any one, and she seemed low in spirits and glad to talk. Poor Helen appears to have made an awful mess of her life. I don't know any one who has covered so much ground in such a short space of time. Since her graduation she has been married, has had a baby and lost him, divorced her husband, quarreled with her family, and come to the city to earn her own living. She is reading manuscript for a publishing house.
But later she told me the whole story herself in such a detached and impersonal way, as if she were talking about characters in a book. She has been living alone in the city, barely seeing anyone, and she seemed down and was happy to talk. Poor Helen seems to have made a real mess of her life. I don’t know anyone who has gone through so much in such a short time. Since graduating, she has gotten married, had a baby and lost him, divorced her husband, argued with her family, and moved to the city to support herself. She is reading manuscripts for a publishing house.
There seems to have been no reason for her divorce from the ordinary point of view; the marriage just simply didn't work. They weren't friends. If he had been a woman, she wouldn't have wasted half an hour talking with him. If she had been a man, he would have said: "Glad to see you. How are you?" and gone on. And yet they MARRIED. Isn't it dreadful how blind this sex business can make people?
There doesn't seem to be any good reason for her divorce from a regular perspective; the marriage just didn't work out. They weren't friends. If he had been a woman, she wouldn't have spent half an hour talking to him. If she had been a man, he would have just said, "Good to see you. How are you?" and moved on. And yet they got MARRIED. Isn't it terrible how blind people can be when it comes to relationships?
She was brought up on the theory that a woman's only legitimate profession is homemaking. When she finished college, she was naturally eager to start on her career, and Henry presented himself. Her family scanned him closely, and found him perfect in every respect—good family, good morals, good financial position, good looking. Helen was in love with him. She had a big wedding and lots of new clothes and dozens of embroidered towels. Everything looked propitious.
She grew up believing that a woman's only respectable job is being a homemaker. When she graduated from college, she was excited to begin her career, and then Henry came along. Her family evaluated him thoroughly and deemed him perfect in every way—he came from a good family, had strong morals, was financially stable, and was attractive. Helen was in love with him. She had an extravagant wedding, new clothes, and a ton of embroidered towels. Everything seemed promising.
But as they began to get acquainted, they didn't like the same books or jokes or people or amusements. He was expansive and social and hilarious, and she wasn't. First they bored, and then they irritated, each other. Her orderliness made him impatient, and his disorderliness drove her wild. She would spend a day getting closets and bureau drawers in order, and in five minutes he would stir them into chaos. He would leave his clothes about for her to pick up, and his towels in a messy heap on the bathroom floor, and he never scrubbed out the tub. And she, on her side, was awfully unresponsive and irritating,—she realized it fully,—she got to the point where she wouldn't laugh at his jokes.
But as they started to get to know each other, they found they didn't like the same books, jokes, people, or activities. He was outgoing, sociable, and funny, while she wasn't. At first, they found each other boring, and then they started to annoy each other. Her need for order made him impatient, and his messiness drove her crazy. She would spend a whole day organizing closets and drawers, and in just five minutes, he would turn them upside down. He would leave his clothes lying around for her to pick up, drop his towels in a messy pile on the bathroom floor, and he never cleaned the tub. On her end, she was really unresponsive and annoying—she realized it completely—she even reached a point where she wouldn't laugh at his jokes.
I suppose most old-fashioned, orthodox people would think it awful to break up a marriage on such innocent grounds. It seemed so to me at first; but as she went on piling up detail on detail each trivial in itself, but making a mountainous total, I agreed with Helen that it was awful to keep it going. It wasn't really a marriage; it was a mistake.
I guess most traditional, conservative people would find it terrible to end a marriage over such innocent reasons. That's what I thought at first; but as she kept adding detail after detail—each one insignificant on its own but creating a massive overall picture—I agreed with Helen that it was awful to keep it going. It wasn't really a marriage; it was a mistake.
So one morning at breakfast, when the subject of what they should do for the summer came up, she said quite casually that she thought she would go West and get a residence in some State where you could get a divorce for a respectable cause; and for the first time in months he agreed with her.
So one morning at breakfast, when they started talking about their summer plans, she casually mentioned that she was thinking of going West and finding a place in a state where you could get a divorce for a valid reason; and for the first time in months, he agreed with her.
You can imagine the outraged feelings of her Victorian family. In all the seven generations of their sojourn in America they have never had anything like this to record in the family Bible. It all comes from sending her to college and letting her read such dreadful modern people as Ellen Key and Bernard Shaw.
You can imagine the outrage of her Victorian family. In all seven generations of their time in America, they've never had anything like this to record in the family Bible. It all stems from sending her to college and allowing her to read such terrible modern figures as Ellen Key and Bernard Shaw.
"If he had only got drunk and dragged me about by the hair," Helen wailed, "it would have been legitimate; but because we didn't actually throw things at each other, no one could see any reason for a divorce."
"If he had just gotten drunk and pulled my hair," Helen cried, "it would have been acceptable; but since we didn't actually throw things at each other, no one could see any reason for a divorce."
The pathetic part of the whole business is that both she and Henry were admirably fitted to make some one else happy. They just simply didn't match each other; and when two people don't match, all the ceremonies in the world can't marry them.
The sad thing about the whole situation is that both she and Henry were perfectly suited to make someone else happy. They just didn’t complement each other; and when two people don’t click, no amount of ceremonies can bring them together.
Saturday morning.
Saturday morning.
I meant to get this letter off two days ago; and here I am with volumes written, but nothing mailed.
I meant to send this letter two days ago, and here I am with a lot written, but I haven't mailed it.
We've just had one of those miserable deceiving nights—cold and frosty when you go to bed, and warm and lifeless when you wake in the dark, smothered under a mountain of blankets. By the time I had removed my own extra covers and plumped up my pillow and settled comfortably, I thought of those fourteen bundled-up babies in the fresh-air nursery. Their so-called night nurse sleeps like a top the whole night through. (Her name is next on the list to be expunged.) So I roused myself again, and made a little blanket removing tour, and by the time I had finished I was forever awake. It is not often that I pass a NUIT BLANCHE; but when I do, I settle world problems. Isn't it funny how much keener your mind is when you are lying awake in the dark?
We've just had one of those miserable, deceptive nights—cold and frosty when you go to bed, and warm and lifeless when you wake up in the dark, buried under a mountain of blankets. By the time I took off my extra covers, fluffed my pillow, and got comfortable, I thought about those fourteen bundled-up babies in the fresh-air nursery. Their so-called night nurse sleeps like a log the whole night through. (Her name is next on the list to be removed.) So I got up again and made a little round of removing blankets, and by the time I was done, I was wide awake. It’s not often that I have a sleepless night; but when I do, I solve world problems. Isn’t it funny how much sharper your mind is when you’re lying awake in the dark?
I began thinking about Helen Brooks, and I planned her whole life over again. I don't know why her miserable story has taken such a hold over me. It's a disheartening subject for an engaged girl to contemplate. I keep saying to myself, what if Gordon and I, when we really get acquainted, should change our minds about liking each other? The fear grips my heart and wrings it dry. But I am marrying him for no reason in the world except affection. I'm not particularly ambitious. Neither his position nor his money ever tempted me in the least. And certainly I am not doing it to find my life work, for in order to marry I am having to give up the work that I love. I really do love this work. I go about planning and planning their baby futures, feeling that I'm constructing the nation. Whatever becomes of me in after life, I am sure I'll be the more capable for having had this tremendous experience. And it IS a tremendous experience, the nearness to humanity that an asylum brings. I am learning so many new things every day that when each Saturday night comes I look back on the Sallie of last Saturday night, amazed at her ignorance.
I started thinking about Helen Brooks and re-planned her entire life. I don’t know why her sad story has such a strong grip on me. It’s a discouraging topic for an engaged girl to ponder. I keep telling myself, what if Gordon and I, once we really get to know each other, change our minds about liking each other? The fear tightens around my heart and drains it. But I’m marrying him for no reason other than love. I’m not particularly ambitious. Neither his status nor his money has ever tempted me at all. And I certainly am not doing this to find my life’s purpose, since I have to give up the work that I love to get married. I truly love this work. I spend my time planning their future babies, feeling as if I’m helping to build the nation. No matter what happens to me later on, I know I’ll be more capable for having had this incredible experience. And it IS an incredible experience, the closeness to humanity that working in an asylum provides. I learn so many new things every day that by the time Saturday night rolls around, I look back at the Sallie from last Saturday night and am amazed at how ignorant she was.
You know I am developing a funny old characteristic; I am getting to hate change. I don't like the prospect of having my life disrupted. I used to love the excitement of volcanoes, but now a high level plateau is my choice in landscape. I am very comfortable where I am. My desk and closet and bureau drawers are organized to suit me; and, oh, I dread unspeakably the thought of the upheaval that is going to happen to me next year! Please don't imagine that I don't care for Gordon quite as much as any man has a right to be cared for. It isn't that I like him any the less, but I am getting to like orphans the more.
You know, I've developed this funny habit; I'm starting to hate change. I really dislike the idea of my life being turned upside down. I used to love the thrill of volcanoes, but now a flat landscape is more my style. I'm really comfortable where I am. My desk, closet, and bureau drawers are organized just the way I like them; and, oh, I absolutely dread the chaos that's going to hit me next year! Please don’t think that I care for Gordon any less than any man deserves to be cared for. It’s not that I like him any less, but I’m starting to like orphans even more.
I just met our medical adviser a few minutes ago as he was emerging from the nursery—Allegra is the only person in the institution who is favored by his austere social attentions. He paused in passing to make a polite comment upon the sudden change in the weather, and to express the hope that I would remember him to Mrs. Pendleton when I wrote.
I just ran into our medical adviser a few minutes ago as he was coming out of the nursery—Allegra is the only person in the institution who gets his formal social attention. He stopped briefly to make a polite remark about the sudden change in the weather and hoped that I would pass on his regards to Mrs. Pendleton when I wrote.
This is a miserable letter to send off on its travels, with scarcely a word of the kind of news that you like to hear. But our bare little orphan asylum up in the hills must seem awfully far away from the palms and orange groves and lizards and tarantulas that you are enjoying.
This is a tough letter to send out, with hardly any news you'll want to hear. But our small, bare orphanage up in the hills must feel really far away from the palms, orange groves, lizards, and tarantulas that you're enjoying.
Have a good time, and don't forget the John Grier Home
Have a great time, and remember the John Grier Home.
and
and
SALLIE.
Sallie.
December 11.
December 11th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Your Jamaica letter is here, and I'm glad to learn that Judy, Junior, enjoys traveling. Write me every detail about your house, and send some photographs, so I can see you in it. What fun it must be to have a boat of your own that chugs about those entertaining seas! Have you worn all of your eighteen white dresses yet? And aren't you glad now that I made you wait about buying a Panama hat till you reached Kingston?
Your letter from Jamaica arrived, and I’m happy to hear that Judy and Junior love traveling. Share all the details about your house and send some photos so I can see you in it. It must be so much fun to have your own boat cruising those lively waters! Have you worn all eighteen of your white dresses yet? And aren’t you glad I had you wait to buy a Panama hat until you got to Kingston?
We are running along here very much as usual without anything exciting to chronicle. You remember little Maybelle Fuller, don't you—the chorus girl's daughter whom our doctor doesn't like? We have placed her out. I tried to make the woman take Hattie Heaphy instead,—the quiet little one who stole the communion cup,—but no, indeed! Maybelle's eyelashes won the day. After all, as poor Marie says, the chief thing is to be pretty. All else in life depends on that.
We’re going about things just like always with nothing new to report. You remember Maybelle Fuller, right? The chorus girl’s daughter that our doctor isn't fond of? We’ve found her a place. I tried to persuade the woman to take Hattie Heaphy instead—the quiet one who took the communion cup—but no way! Maybelle’s eyelashes sealed the deal. In the end, as poor Marie says, the most important thing is being pretty. Everything else in life hinges on that.
When I got home last week, after my dash to New York, I made a brief speech to the children. I told them that I had just been seeing Aunt Judy off on a big ship, and I am embarrassed to have to report that the interest—at least on the part of the boys—immediately abandoned Aunt Judy and centered upon the ship. How many tons of coal did she burn a day? Was she long enough to reach from the carriage house to the Indian camp? Were there any guns aboard, and if a privateer should attack her, could she hold her own? In case of a mutiny, could the captain shoot down anybody he chose, and wouldn't he be hanged when he got to shore?
When I got home last week after my trip to New York, I made a quick speech to the kids. I told them that I had just seen Aunt Judy off on a big ship, and I’m embarrassed to say that their interest—especially the boys—quickly shifted from Aunt Judy to the ship. How many tons of coal did it burn each day? Was it long enough to stretch from the carriage house to the Indian camp? Were there any guns on board, and if a privateer attacked, could it defend itself? If there was a mutiny, could the captain just shoot anyone he wanted, and wouldn't he get hanged when they reached shore?
I had ignominiously to call upon Sandy to finish my speech. I realize that the best-equipped feminine mind in the world can't cope with the peculiar class of questions that originate in a thirteen-year boy's brain.
I had to embarrassingly ask Sandy to wrap up my speech. I realize that even the smartest woman can't handle the unique kind of questions that come from a thirteen-year-old boy's mind.
As a result of their seafaring interest, the doctor conceived the idea of inviting seven of the oldest and most alert lads to spend the day with him in New York and see with their own eyes an oceanliner. They rose at five yesterday morning, caught the 7:30 train, and had the most wonderful adventure that has happened in all their seven lives. They visited one of the big liners (Sandy knows the Scotch engineer), and were conducted from the bottom of the hold to the top of the crow's-nest, and then had luncheon on board. And after luncheon they visited the aquarium and the top of the Singer Building, and took the subway uptown to spend an hour with the birds of America in their habitats. Sandy with great difficulty pried them away from the Natural History Museum in time to catch the 6:15 train. Dinner in the dining-car. They inquired with great particularity how much it was costing, and when they heard that it was the same, no matter how much you ate, they drew deep breaths and settled quietly and steadily to the task of not allowing their host to be cheated. The railroad made nothing on that party, and all the tables around stopped eating to stare. One traveler asked the doctor if it was a boarding school he had in charge; so you can see how the manners and bearing of our lads have picked up. I don't wish to boast, but no one would ever have asked such a question concerning seven of Mrs. Lippett's youngsters. "Are they bound for a reformatory?" would have been the natural question after observing the table manners of her offspring.
Because of their love for the sea, the doctor had the idea to invite seven of the oldest and most lively boys to spend a day with him in New York to see an ocean liner for themselves. They woke up at five yesterday morning, caught the 7:30 train, and experienced the most amazing adventure of their lives. They visited one of the big ships (Sandy knows the Scottish engineer) and were taken from the bottom of the hold to the top of the crow's-nest, and then had lunch on board. After lunch, they checked out the aquarium and the top of the Singer Building, and took the subway uptown to spend an hour with American birds in their habitats. Sandy had a hard time pulling them away from the Natural History Museum in time to catch the 6:15 train. They had dinner in the dining car. They asked in detail how much it cost, and when they found out it was the same no matter how much you ate, they took deep breaths and focused on making sure their host wasn’t cheated. The railroad didn’t make a dime on that group, and all the other tables stopped eating to watch. One traveler asked the doctor if he was in charge of a boarding school; so you can see how well-mannered our boys have become. I don’t want to brag, but no one would have ever asked such a question about seven of Mrs. Lippett’s kids. The natural question after seeing her children’s table manners would have been, “Are they headed for a reformatory?”
My little band tumbled in toward ten o'clock, excitedly babbling a mess of statistics about reciprocating compound engines and watertight bulkheads, devil-fish and sky-scrapers and birds of paradise. I thought I should never get them to bed. And, oh, but they had had a glorious day! I do wish I could manage breaks in the routine oftener. It gives them a new outlook on life and makes them more like normal children. Wasn't it really nice of Sandy? But you should have seen that man's behavior when I tried to thank him. He waved me aside in the middle of a sentence, and growlingly asked Miss Snaith if she couldn't economize a little on carbolic acid. The house smelt like a hospital.
My little group came rushing in around ten o'clock, excitedly chattering about all sorts of things like reciprocating compound engines, watertight bulkheads, devil-fish, skyscrapers, and birds of paradise. I thought I’d never get them to bed. And, wow, they had an amazing day! I really wish I could plan breaks in the routine more often. It gives them a fresh perspective on life and makes them feel more like normal kids. Wasn’t it really nice of Sandy? But you should have seen that guy's reaction when I tried to thank him. He waved me off mid-sentence and grumpily asked Miss Snaith if she couldn’t cut back a bit on carbolic acid. The house smelled like a hospital.
I must tell you that Punch is back with us again, entirely renovated as to manners. I am looking for a family to adopt him.
I have to tell you that Punch is back with us, completely revamped in his behavior. I'm searching for a family to take him in.
I had hoped those two intelligent spinsters would see their way to keeping him forever, but they want to travel, and they feel he's too consuming of their liberty. I inclose a sketch in colored chalk of your steamer, which he has just completed. There is some doubt as to the direction in which it is going; it looks as though it might progress backward and end in Brooklyn. Owing to the loss of my blue pencil, our flag has had to adopt the Italian colors.
I had hoped those two smart single women would figure out a way to keep him for good, but they want to travel, and they feel he takes up too much of their freedom. I'm attaching a colored chalk sketch of your steamer that he just finished. There's some uncertainty about which way it's headed; it looks like it might be going backward and end up in Brooklyn. Because I lost my blue pencil, our flag has had to take on the Italian colors.
The three figures on the bridge are you and Jervis and the baby. I am pained to note that you carry your daughter by the back of her neck, as if she were a kitten. That is not the way we handle babies in the J. G. H. nursery. Please also note that the artist has given Jervis his full due in the matter of legs. When I asked Punch what had become of the captain, he said that the captain was inside, putting coal on the fire. Punch was terribly impressed, as well he might be, when he heard that your steamer burned three hundred wagonloads a day, and he naturally supposed that all hands had been piped to the stokehole.
The three people on the bridge are you, Jervis, and the baby. I'm sorry to see that you're holding your daughter by the back of her neck, like she's a kitten. That's not how we handle babies in the J. G. H. nursery. Also, I want to point out that the artist has given Jervis proper representation in terms of his legs. When I asked Punch what happened to the captain, he said the captain was inside, stoking the fire. Punch was really impressed, as he should be, when he heard that your steamer burned three hundred wagonloads of coal each day, and he naturally thought that everyone had been called to the stokehole.
BOW! WOW!
BOW! WOW!
That's a bark from Sing. I told him I was writing to you, and he responded instantly.
That's a bark from Sing. I told him I was writing to you, and he replied right away.
We both send love.
We both send our love.
Yours,
Yours truly,
SALLIE. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
SALLIE. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Saturday.
Saturday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Rival:
You were so terribly gruff last night when I tried to thank you for giving my boys such a wonderful day that I didn't have a chance to express half of the appreciation I felt.
You were so grumpy last night when I tried to thank you for giving my boys such a great day that I didn’t get a chance to express even half of how grateful I felt.
What on earth is the matter with you, Sandy? You used to be a tolerably nice man—in spots, but these last three or four months you have only been nice to other people, never to me. We have had from the first a long series of misunderstandings and foolish contretemps, but after each one we seemed to reach a solider basis of understanding, until I had thought our friendship was on a pretty firm foundation, capable of withstanding any reasonable shock.
What is going on with you, Sandy? You used to be a decent guy—at least sometimes—but for the last three or four months, you've only been nice to everyone else, never to me. From the start, we've had a long string of misunderstandings and awkward moments, but after each one, it felt like we reached a stronger understanding, and I thought our friendship was on solid ground, able to handle any reasonable challenge.
And then came that unfortunate evening last June when you overheard some foolish impolitenesses, which I did not in the slightest degree mean; and from then on you faded into the distance. Really, I have felt terribly bad about it, and have wanted to apologize, but your manner has not been inviting of confidence. It isn't that I have any excuse or explanation to offer; I haven't. You know how foolish and silly I am on occasions, but you will just have to realize that though I'm flippant and foolish and trivial on top, I am pretty solid inside; and you've got to forgive the silly part. The Pendletons knew that long ago, or they wouldn't have sent me up here. I have tried hard to pull off an honest job, partly because I wanted to justify their judgment, partly because I was really interested in giving the poor little kiddies their share of happiness, but mostly, I actually believe, because I wanted to show you that your first derogatory opinion of me was ill founded. Won't you please expunge that unfortunate fifteen minutes at the porte-cochere last June, and remember instead the fifteen hours I spent reading the Kallikak Family?
And then came that unfortunate evening last June when you overheard some rude comments that I didn’t mean at all; and from that moment, you started to drift away. Honestly, I’ve felt really bad about it and have wanted to apologize, but your attitude hasn’t made it easy. It’s not that I have any excuses or explanations to give; I don’t. You know how foolish and silly I can be sometimes, but you need to understand that even though I might seem flippant and trivial on the surface, I’m solid at my core; you have to forgive the silly side of me. The Pendletons realized that a long time ago, or they wouldn’t have sent me here. I’ve worked hard to do an honest job, partly because I wanted to prove them right, partly because I genuinely care about giving the poor little kids their share of happiness, but mostly, I think, because I wanted to show you that your first negative opinion of me was unfounded. Please forget that unfortunate fifteen minutes at the porte-cochere last June, and instead remember the fifteen hours I spent reading the Kallikak Family.
I would like to feel that we're friends again.
I’d really like to feel like we’re friends again.
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Sunday.
Sunday.
Dear Dr. MacRae:
Dear Dr. MacRae:
I am in receipt of your calling card with an eleven-word answer to my letter on the back. I didn't mean to annoy you by my attentions. What you think and how you behave are really matters of extreme indifference to me. Be just as impolite as you choose.
I received your calling card with an eleven-word response to my letter on the back. I didn't mean to bother you with my attention. What you think and how you act really don't matter to me at all. Feel free to be as rude as you want.
S. McB.
S. McB.
December 14.
December 14th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
PLEASE pepper your letters with stamps, inside and out. I have thirty collectors in the family. Since you have taken to travel, every day about post time an eager group gathers at the gate, waiting to snatch any letters of foreign design, and by the time the letters reach me they are almost in shreds through the tenacity of rival snatchers. Tell Jervis to send us some more of those purple pine trees from Honduras; likewise some green parrots from Guatemala. I could use a pint of them!
PLEASE sprinkle your letters with stamps, inside and out. I have thirty collectors in the family. Now that you're traveling, every day around the time the mail arrives, a bunch of us gathers at the gate, ready to grab any letters with foreign designs. By the time those letters get to me, they're almost torn to pieces because of the competition among us snatchers. Tell Jervis to send us more of those purple pine trees from Honduras, and also some green parrots from Guatemala. I could really use a pint of those!
Isn't it wonderful to have got these apathetic little things so enthusiastic? My children are getting to be almost like real children. B dormitory started a pillow fight last night of its own accord; and though it was very wearing to our scant supply of linen, I stood by and beamed, and even tossed a pillow myself.
Isn't it great to see these indifferent little ones so excited? My kids are almost starting to act like real kids. The dormitory started a pillow fight on its own last night; and even though it really wore out our limited supply of sheets, I watched with a smile and even joined in by tossing a pillow myself.
Last Saturday those two desirable friends of Percy's spent the whole afternoon playing with my boys. They brought up three rifles, and each man took the lead of a camp of Indians, and passed the afternoon in a bottle shooting contest, with a prize for the winning camp. They brought the prize with them—an atrocious head of an Indian painted on leather. Dreadful taste; but the men thought it lovely, so I admired it with all the ardor I could assume.
Last Saturday, Percy's two charming friends spent the entire afternoon playing with my boys. They brought three rifles, and each guy led a camp of Indians, spending the afternoon in a bottle shooting contest, with a prize for the winning camp. They brought the prize with them—an awful painted head of an Indian on leather. Terrible taste; but the guys thought it was great, so I complimented it as enthusiastically as I could.
When they had finished, I warmed them up with cookies and hot chocolate, and I really think the men enjoyed it as much as the boys; they undoubtedly enjoyed it more than I did. I couldn't help being in a feminine twitter all the time the firing was going on for fear somebody would shoot somebody else. But I know that I can't keep twenty-four Indians tied to my apron strings, and I never could find in the whole wide world three nicer men to take an interest in them.
When they were done, I treated them to cookies and hot chocolate, and I honestly believe the men enjoyed it just as much as the boys; they probably enjoyed it more than I did. I couldn't help but be nervously excited while the shooting was happening, worried that someone might accidentally hurt someone else. But I realize that I can't keep twenty-four Indians reliant on me, and I've never met three nicer guys who care about them.
Just think of all that healthy, exuberant volunteer service going to waste under the asylum's nose! I suppose the neighborhood is full of plenty more of it, and I am going to make it my business to dig it out.
Just think of all that healthy, enthusiastic volunteer work going to waste right under the asylum's nose! I bet the neighborhood is full of more of it, and I’m going to make it my mission to find it.
What I want most are about eight nice, pretty, sensible young women to come up here one night a week, and sit before the fire and tell stories while the chicks pop corn. I do so want to contrive a little individual petting for my babies. You see, Judy, I am remembering your own childhood, and am trying hard to fill in the gaps.
What I want most are about eight nice, pretty, sensible young women to come up here one night a week, sit in front of the fire, and tell stories while the kids make popcorn. I really want to set up some individual time for my little ones. You see, Judy, I’m thinking back to your childhood and trying hard to fill in the gaps.
The trustees' meeting last week went beautifully. The new women are most helpful, and only the nice men came. I am happy to announce that the Hon. Cy Wykoff is visiting his married daughter in Scranton. I wish she would invite father to live with her permanently.
The trustees' meeting last week went really well. The new women are very helpful, and only the good men showed up. I'm pleased to share that the Hon. Cy Wykoff is visiting his married daughter in Scranton. I wish she would invite Dad to live with her permanently.
Wednesday.
Wed.
I am in the most childish temper with the doctor, and for no very definite reason. He keeps along his even, unemotional way without paying the slightest attention to anything or anybody. I have swallowed more slights during these last few months than in the whole of my life before, and I'm developing the most shockingly revengeful nature. I spend all my spare time planning situations in which he will be terribly hurt and in need of my help, and in which I, with the utmost callousness, will shrug my shoulders and turn away. I am growing into a person entirely foreign to the sweet, sunny young thing you used to know.
I’m feeling really childish towards the doctor, and I can’t even say why. He just goes about his business, completely unemotional and not caring about anything or anyone. I’ve put up with more insults in the past few months than I have in my entire life, and it’s turning me into someone incredibly vengeful. I spend all my free time coming up with scenarios where he’s really hurt and in desperate need of my help, and in those moments, I’d just shrug it off and walk away without a second thought. I’m becoming someone so different from the sweet, cheerful person you used to know.
Evening.
Evening time.
Do you realize that I am an authority on the care of dependent children? Tomorrow I and other authorities visit officially the Hebrew Sheltering Guardian Society's Orphan Asylum at Pleasantville. (All that's its name!) It's a terribly difficult and roundabout journey from this point, involving a daybreak start and two trains and an automobile. But if I'm to be an authority, I must live up to the title. I'm keen about looking over other institutions and gleaning as many ideas as possible against our own alterations next year. And this Pleasantville asylum is an architectural model.
Do you know that I'm an expert on taking care of dependent children? Tomorrow, I and other specialists will officially visit the Hebrew Sheltering Guardian Society's Orphan Asylum in Pleasantville. (That's really its name!) It's a really challenging and complicated journey from here, requiring a very early start, two train rides, and a drive. But if I'm going to be an expert, I need to live up to that title. I'm excited to check out other organizations and gather as many ideas as possible for our own changes next year. Plus, this Pleasantville asylum is an architectural showcase.
I acknowledge now, upon sober reflection, that we were wise to postpone extensive building operations until next summer. Of course I was disappointed, because it meant that I won't be the center of the ripping-up, and I do so love to be the center of ripping-ups! But, anyway, you'll take my advice, even though I'm no longer an official head? The two building details we did accomplish are very promising. Our new laundry grows better and better; it has removed from us that steamy smell so dear to asylums. The farmer's cottage will finally be ready for occupancy next week. All it now lacks is a coat of paint and some doorknobs.
I now realize, after thinking it over, that it was smart to delay major construction until next summer. Of course, I was let down because it means I won’t be at the center of all the chaos, and I really enjoy being in the middle of the chaos! But anyway, will you still listen to my advice, even though I’m no longer in charge? The two construction projects we did finish are looking very promising. Our new laundry keeps improving; it has gotten rid of that steamy smell that’s so common in asylums. The farmer's cottage will finally be ready for people to move in next week. All it needs now is a fresh coat of paint and some doorknobs.
But, oh dear! oh dear! another bubble has burst! Mrs Turnfelt, for all her comfortable figure and sunny smile, hates to have children messing about. They make her nervous. And as for Turnfelt himself, though industrious and methodical and an excellent gardener, still, his mental processes are not quite what I had hoped for. When he first came, I made him free of the library. He began at the case nearest the door, which contains thirty-seven volumes of Pansy's works. Finally, after he had spent four months on Pansy, I suggested a change, and sent him home with "Huckleberry Finn." But he brought it back in a few days, and shook his head. He says that after reading Pansy, anything else seems tame. I am afraid I shall have to look about for some one a little more up-and-coming. But at least, compared with Sterry, Turnfelt is a scholar!
But, oh no! Another bubble has burst! Mrs. Turnfelt, despite her cozy figure and cheerful smile, hates having kids running around. They make her anxious. And as for Turnfelt himself, even though he's hardworking, organized, and a great gardener, his thinking isn’t quite what I expected. When he first arrived, I granted him access to the library. He started with the case nearest the door, which holds thirty-seven volumes of Pansy's works. After he spent four months on Pansy, I suggested he try something different and sent him home with "Huckleberry Finn." But he brought it back in a few days, shaking his head. He says that after reading Pansy, everything else feels dull. I'm afraid I’ll need to look for someone a bit more ambitious. But at least, compared to Sterry, Turnfelt is a scholar!
And speaking of Sterry, he paid us a social call a few days ago, in quite a chastened frame of mind. It seems that the "rich city feller" whose estate he has been managing no longer needs his services; and Sterry has graciously consented to return to us and let the children have gardens if they wish. I kindly, but convincingly, declined his offer.
And speaking of Sterry, he visited us a few days ago, clearly feeling humbled. It turns out that the "rich city guy" whose estate he was managing no longer requires his help; and Sterry has graciously agreed to come back to us and let the kids have gardens if they want. I politely, but firmly, turned down his offer.
Friday.
Friday.
I came back from Pleasantville last night with a heart full of envy. Please, Mr. President, I want some gray stucco cottages, with Luca della Robbia figures baked into the front. They have nearly 700 children there, and all sizable youngsters. Of course that makes a very different problem from my hundred and seven, ranging from babyhood up. But I borrowed from their superintendent several very fancy ideas. I'm dividing my chicks into big and little sisters and brothers, each big one to have a little one to love and help and fight for. Big sister Sadie Kate has to see that little sister Gladiola always has her hair neatly combed and her stockings pulled up and knows her lessons and gets a touch of petting and her share of candy—very pleasant for Gladiola, but especially developing for Sadie Kate.
I returned from Pleasantville last night feeling really envious. Please, Mr. President, I want some gray stucco cottages with Luca della Robbia figures baked into the front. They have almost 700 kids there, and all of them are pretty big. Of course, that creates a very different situation from my one hundred and seven, who are all ages, from babies on up. But I borrowed a few really great ideas from their superintendent. I'm organizing my kids into big and little sisters and brothers, with each big one having a little one to care for, help, and stand up for. Big sister Sadie Kate has to make sure that little sister Gladiola always has her hair neatly done, her stockings pulled up, knows her lessons, and gets some affection and her share of candy—it's great for Gladiola, but especially good for Sadie Kate's growth.
Also I am going to start among our older children a limited form of self-government such as we had in college. That will help fit them to go out into the world and govern themselves when they get there. This shoving children into the world at the age of sixteen seems terribly merciless. Five of my children are ready to be shoved, but I can't bring myself to do it. I keep remembering my own irresponsible silly young self, and wondering what would have happened to me had I been turned out to work at the age of sixteen!
Also, I'm going to introduce a basic form of self-government for our older kids, similar to what we had in college. This will help prepare them to go out into the world and take care of themselves when the time comes. Pushing kids out into the world at sixteen seems really harsh. Five of my kids are ready to be pushed, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I keep thinking about my own irresponsible, silly younger self and wondering what would have happened to me if I had been forced to work at sixteen!
I must leave you now to write an interesting letter to my politician in Washington, and it's hard work. What have I to say that will interest a politician? I can't do anything any more but babble about babies, and he wouldn't care if every baby was swept from the face of the earth. Oh, yes, he would, too! I'm afraid I'm slandering him. Babies—at least boy babies—grow into voters.
I have to go now and write a letter to my politician in Washington, and it's tough. What can I say that would actually grab a politician's attention? All I seem to talk about now is babies, and he probably wouldn't care if every single baby disappeared. Oh, wait, maybe he would! I think I'm being unfair to him. After all, babies—especially baby boys—eventually become voters.
Good-by,
Goodbye,
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Dearest Judy:
Dear Judy:
If you expect a cheerful letter from me the day, don't read this.
If you're hoping for a cheerful letter from me today, don't read this.
The life of man is a wintry road. Fog, snow, rain, slush, drizzle, cold—such weather! such weather! And you in dear Jamaica with the sunshine and the orange blossoms!
The life of a person is like a wintry road. Fog, snow, rain, slush, drizzle, cold—what terrible weather! And you're in lovely Jamaica enjoying the sunshine and the orange blossoms!
We've got whooping cough, and you can hear us whoop when you get off the train two miles away. We don't know how we got it—just one of the pleasures of institution life. Cook has left,—in the night,—what the Scotch call a "moonlight flitting." I don't know how she got her trunk away, but it's gone. The kitchen fire went with her. The pipes are frozen. The plumbers are here, and the kitchen floor is all ripped up. One of our horses has the spavin. And, to crown all, our cheery, resourceful Percy is down, down, down in the depths of despair. We have not been quite certain for three days past whether we could keep him from suicide. The girl in Detroit,—I knew she was a heartless little minx,—without so much as going through the formality of sending back his ring, has gone and married herself to a man and a couple of automobiles and a yacht. It is the best thing that could ever have happened to Percy, but it will be a long, long time before he realizes it.
We've got whooping cough, and you can hear us coughing from two miles away when you get off the train. We have no idea how we got it—just one of the joys of living in an institution. The cook has left—in the night—what the Scots call a "moonlight flitting." I don't know how she managed to get her trunk out, but it's gone. The kitchen fire left with her. The pipes are frozen. The plumbers are here, and the kitchen floor is all torn up. One of our horses has a spavin. And to top it all off, our cheerful, resourceful Percy is feeling completely hopeless. We haven't been sure for the past three days whether we could stop him from taking drastic measures. The girl in Detroit—I knew she was a heartless little minx—without even bothering to return his ring, has gone and married a guy with a couple of cars and a yacht. It's the best thing that could have happened to Percy, but it'll be a long time before he realizes it.
We have our twenty-four Indians back in the house with us. I was sorry to have to bring them in, but the shacks were scarcely planned for winter quarters. I have stowed them away very comfortably, however, thanks to the spacious iron verandas surrounding our new fire-escape. It was a happy idea of Jervis's having them glassed in for sleeping porches. The babies' sun parlor is a wonderful addition to our nursery. We can fairly see the little tots bloom under the influence of that extra air and sunshine.
We have our twenty-four Indians back in the house with us. I felt bad about bringing them in, but the shacks weren't really set up for winter. I managed to make them quite comfortable, though, thanks to the spacious iron verandas around our new fire escape. It was a great idea from Jervis to turn them into glassed-in sleeping porches. The babies' sunroom is a fantastic addition to our nursery. We can really see the little ones thrive with that extra fresh air and sunshine.
With the return of the Indians to civilized life, Percy's occupation was ended, and he was supposed to remove himself to the hotel. But he didn't want to remove himself. He has got used to orphans, he says, and he would miss not seeing them about. I think the truth is that he is feeling so miserable over his wrecked engagement that he is afraid to be alone. He needs something to occupy every waking moment out of banking hours. And goodness knows we're glad enough to keep him! He has been wonderful with those youngsters, and they need a man's influence.
With the return of the Indians to a civilized lifestyle, Percy's job was finished, and he was expected to move to the hotel. But he didn't want to leave. He says he’s gotten used to the orphans, and he would miss seeing them around. I think the truth is that he's feeling so down about his ruined engagement that he's afraid to be alone. He needs something to fill every waking moment outside of banking hours. And we’re more than happy to keep him! He’s been amazing with those kids, and they really need a man’s influence.
But what on earth to do with the man? As you discovered last summer, this spacious chateau does not contain a superabundance of guest rooms. He has finally fitted himself into the doctor's laboratory, and the medicines have moved themselves to a closet down the hall. He and the doctor fixed it up between them, and if they are willing to be mutually inconvenienced, I have no fault to find.
But what the heck are we gonna do with the guy? As you found out last summer, this big chateau doesn’t have a ton of guest rooms. He’s finally made himself at home in the doctor’s lab, and the medicines have been shoved into a closet down the hall. He and the doctor arranged it between themselves, and as long as they’re okay with the inconvenience, I have no complaints.
Mercy! I've just looked at the calendar, and it's the eighteenth, with Christmas only a week away. However shall we finish all our plans in a week? The chicks are making presents for one another, and something like a thousand secrets have been whispered in my ear.
Mercy! I just checked the calendar, and it's the eighteenth, with Christmas only a week away. How are we going to finish all our plans in a week? The kids are making gifts for each other, and there have been about a thousand secrets whispered in my ear.
Snow last night. The boys have spent the morning in the woods, gathering evergreens and drawing them home on sleds; and twenty girls are spending the afternoon in the laundry, winding wreaths for the windows. I don't know how we are going to do our washing this week. We were planning to keep the Christmas tree a secret, but fully fifty children have been boosted up to the carriage house window to take a peep at it, and I am afraid the news has spread among the remaining fifty.
Snow last night. The boys have spent the morning in the woods, gathering evergreens and dragging them home on sleds; and twenty girls are spending the afternoon in the laundry, making wreaths for the windows. I have no idea how we're going to do our laundry this week. We had planned to keep the Christmas tree a secret, but at least fifty kids have been lifted up to the carriage house window to sneak a look at it, and I’m worried the news has gotten out to the other fifty.
At your insistence, we have sedulously fostered the Santa Claus myth, but it doesn't meet with much credence. "Why didn't he ever come before?" was Sadie Kate's skeptical question. But Santa Claus is undoubtedly coming this time. I asked the doctor, out of politeness, to play the chief role at our Christmas tree; and being certain ahead of time that he was going to refuse, I had already engaged Percy as an understudy. But there is no counting on a Scotchman. Sandy accepted with unprecedented graciousness, and I had privately to unengage Percy!
At your request, we have carefully nurtured the Santa Claus myth, but it’s not really taken seriously. "Why has he never come before?" was Sadie Kate's skeptical question. But Santa Claus is definitely coming this time. I asked the doctor, just to be polite, to take the lead role at our Christmas tree; and knowing he would probably say no, I had already booked Percy as a backup. But you can’t rely on a Scotsman. Sandy accepted very graciously, so I had to let Percy go!
Tuesday.
Tuesday.
Isn't it funny, the way some inconsequential people have of pouring out whatever happens to be churning about in their minds at the moment? They seem to have no residue of small talk, and are never able to dismiss a crisis in order to discuss the weather.
Isn't it funny how some unimportant people spill whatever's on their minds at the moment? They really don't do small talk and can never put aside a crisis just to chat about the weather.
This is apropos of a call I received today. A woman had come to deliver her sister's child—sister in a sanatorium for tuberculosis; we to keep the child until the mother is cured, though I fear, from what I hear, that will never be. But, anyway, all the arrangements had been made, and the woman had merely to hand in the little girl and retire. But having a couple of hours between trains, she intimated a desire to look about, so I showed her the kindergarten rooms and the little crib that Lily will occupy, and our yellow dining room, with its frieze of bunnies, in order that she might report as many cheerful details as possible to the poor mother. After this, as she seemed tired, I socially asked her to walk into my parlor and have a cup of tea. Doctor MacRae, being at hand and in a hungry mood (a rare state for him; he now condescends to a cup of tea with the officers of this institution about twice a month), came, too, and we had a little party.
This is in reference to a call I got today. A woman came to drop off her sister’s child—her sister is in a sanatorium for tuberculosis. We're supposed to take care of the child until the mother gets better, though from what I hear, that might never happen. Anyway, all the arrangements were made, and the woman just needed to hand over the little girl and leave. However, since she had a couple of hours between trains, she expressed a wish to look around, so I showed her the kindergarten rooms and the little crib that Lily will use, and our yellow dining room, which has a border of bunnies, so she could share as many cheerful details as possible with the poor mother. After that, since she seemed tired, I casually invited her to come into my parlor for a cup of tea. Doctor MacRae, being nearby and feeling hungry (which is rare for him; he only joins the officers of this institution for tea about twice a month), came along too, and we had a little gathering.
The woman seemed to feel that the burden of entertainment rested upon her, and by way of making conversation, she told us that her husband had fallen in love with the girl who sold tickets at a moving picture show (a painted, yellow-haired thing who chewed gum like a cow, was her description of the enchantress), and he spent all of his money on the girl, and never came home except when he was drunk. Then he smashed the furniture something awful. An easel, with her mother's picture on it, that she had had since before she was married, he had thrown down just for the pleasure of hearing it crash. And finally she had just got too tired to live, so she drank a bottle of swamp root because somebody had told her it was poison if you took it all at once. But it didn't kill her; it only made her sick. And he came back, and said he would choke her if she ever tried that on him again; so she guessed he must still care something for her. All this quite casually while she stirred her tea.
The woman seemed to feel like it was her job to entertain, so to spark a conversation, she shared that her husband had fallen for the girl who sold tickets at a movie theater (a painted, blonde girl who chewed gum like a cow, according to her description of the enchantress). He spent all his money on her and only came home when he was drunk. Then he would smash the furniture pretty badly. He had thrown down an easel with her mother’s picture on it, something she had since before she got married, just to hear it crash. Eventually, she got too tired of living, so she drank a bottle of swamp root because someone told her it was poison if you took it all at once. But it didn’t kill her; it just made her sick. He came back and said he would choke her if she tried that again, so she figured he must still care about her a little. She shared all this quite casually while stirring her tea.
I tried to think of something to say, but it was a social exigency that left me dumb. But Sandy rose to the occasion like a gentleman. He talked to her beautifully and sanely, and sent her away actually uplifted. Our Sandy, when he tries, can be exceptionally nice, particularly to people who have no claim upon him. I suppose it is a matter of professional etiquette—part of a doctor's business to heal the spirit as well as the body. Most spirits appear to need it in this world. My caller has left me needing it. I have been wondering ever since what I should do if I married a man who deserted me for a chewing gum girl, and who came home and smashed the bric-a-brac. I suppose, judging from the theaters this winter, that it is a thing that might happen to any one, particularly in the best society.
I tried to think of something to say, but it was a social pressure that left me speechless. But Sandy stepped up like a true gentleman. He spoke to her beautifully and thoughtfully, and actually made her feel better when she left. Our Sandy, when he puts in the effort, can be really great, especially to people who don’t owe him anything. I guess it’s part of a doctor's job—healing the spirit as well as the body. Most people seem to need that in this world. My visitor left me feeling like I need it too. I've been thinking ever since about what I would do if I married a guy who left me for a girl who chews gum, then came home and broke our stuff. I suppose, judging by the shows this winter, that it’s something that could happen to anyone, especially in high society.
You ought to be thankful you've got Jervis. There is something awfully certain about a man like him. The longer I live, the surer I am that character is the only thing that counts. But how on earth can you ever tell? Men are so good at talking! Good-by, and a merry Christmas to Jervis and both Judies.
You should be thankful you have Jervis. There's something really reassuring about a guy like him. The longer I live, the more convinced I am that character is the only thing that matters. But how can you ever really know? Men are so good at talking! Goodbye, and have a Merry Christmas to Jervis and both Judies.
S. McB.
S. McB.
P.S. It would be a pleasant attention if you would answer my letters a little more promptly.
P.S. I’d appreciate it if you could reply to my letters a bit more quickly.
JOHN GRIER HOME,
JOHN GRIER HOME,
December 29.
December 29th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Sadie Kate has spent the week composing a Christmas letter to you, and it leaves nothing for me to tell. Oh, we've had a wonderful time! Besides all the presents and games and fancy things to eat, we have had hayrides and skating parties and candy pulls. I don't know whether these pampered little orphans will ever settle down again into normal children.
Sadie Kate has spent the week writing a Christmas letter to you, and there's not much left for me to say. Oh, we've had an amazing time! Besides all the gifts, games, and delicious food, we've enjoyed hayrides, skating parties, and candy pulls. I’m not sure if these spoiled little orphans will ever go back to being normal kids again.
Many thanks for my six gifts. I like them all, particularly the picture of Judy, junior; the tooth adds a pleasant touch to her smile.
Many thanks for my six gifts. I like them all, especially the picture of Judy, junior; the tooth adds a nice touch to her smile.
You'll be glad to hear that I've placed out Hattie Heaphy in a minister's family, and a dear family they are. They never blinked an eyelash when I told them about the communion cup. They've given her to themselves for a Christmas present, and she went off so happily, clinging to her new father's hand!
You'll be happy to know that I've found Hattie Heaphy a place in a minister's family, and they're such a lovely family. They didn't even flinch when I mentioned the communion cup. They've welcomed her as a Christmas gift, and she left with such joy, holding her new father's hand!
I won't write more now, because fifty children are writing thank-you letters, and poor Aunt Judy will be buried beneath her mail when this week's steamer gets in.
I won’t write any more right now because fifty kids are writing thank-you letters, and poor Aunt Judy is going to be buried under her mail when this week’s steamer arrives.
My love to the Pendletons.
My love to the Pendletons.
S. McB.
S. McB.
P.S. Singapore sends his love to Togo, and is sorry he bit him on the ear.
P.S. Singapore sends his love to Togo and apologizes for biting him on the ear.
JOHN GRIER HOME,
JOHN GRIER HOME,
December 30.
Dec 30.
O DEAR, Gordon, I have been reading the most upsetting book!
O dear, Gordon, I've been reading the most upsetting book!
I tried to talk some French the other day, and not making out very well, decided that I had better take my French in hand if I didn't want to lose it entirely. That Scotch doctor of ours has mercifully abandoned my scientific education, so I have a little time at my own disposal. By some unlucky chance I began with "Numa Roumestan," by Daudet. It is a terribly disturbing book for a girl to read who is engaged to a politician. Read it, Gordon dear, and assiduously train your character away from Numa's. It's the story of a politician who is disquietingly fascinating (like you). Who is adored by all who know him (like you). Who has a most persuasive way of talking and makes wonderful speeches (again like you). He is worshiped by everybody, and they all say to his wife, "What a happy life you must lead, knowing so intimately that wonderful man!"
I tried speaking some French the other day, and since I wasn’t getting very far, I figured I should really focus on my French if I didn’t want to completely lose it. That Scottish doctor of ours has thankfully given up on my scientific education, so I have a little free time now. By some unfortunate chance, I started with "Numa Roumestan," by Daudet. It’s a really unsettling book for a girl to read who is engaged to a politician. Read it, dear Gordon, and make sure you train your character to be different from Numa's. It’s about a politician who is disturbingly charming (like you). Who is adored by everyone who knows him (like you). Who has a way with words and delivers amazing speeches (again, like you). He is idolized by everyone, and they all say to his wife, "What a wonderful life you must have, being so close to that amazing man!"
But he wasn't very wonderful when he came home to her—only when he had an audience and applause. He would drink with every casual acquaintance, and be gay and bubbling and expansive; and then return morose and sullen and down. "Joie de rue, douleur de maison," is the burden of the book.
But he wasn't really great when he came home to her—only when he had an audience and applause. He would drink with every casual acquaintance, being cheerful and lively and open; then he'd come back feeling gloomy and withdrawn. "Joie de rue, douleur de maison," is the takeaway of the book.
I read it till twelve last night, and honestly I didn't sleep for being scared. I know you'll be angry, but really and truly, Gordon dear, there's just a touch too much truth in it for my entire amusement. I didn't mean ever to refer again to that unhappy matter of August 20,—we talked it all out at the time,—but you know perfectly that you need a bit of watching. And I don't like the idea. I want to have a feeling of absolute confidence and stability about the man I marry. I never could live in a state of anxious waiting for him to come home.
I stayed up reading it until midnight last night, and honestly, I couldn’t sleep because I was scared. I know you’ll be upset, but really, Gordon dear, there’s just a bit too much truth in it for me to enjoy completely. I didn’t want to bring up that unfortunate event from August 20 again—we talked about it all at the time—but you know you need to be watched a little. And I’m not comfortable with that idea. I want to feel completely confident and secure about the man I will marry. I could never handle living in a constant state of anxiety, waiting for him to come home.
Read "Numa" for yourself, and you'll see the woman's point of view. I'm not patient or meek or long-suffering in any way, and I'm a little afraid of what I'm capable of doing if I have the provocation. My heart has to be in a thing in order to make it work, and, oh, I do so want our marriage to work!
Read "Numa" for yourself, and you'll understand the woman's perspective. I'm not patient or submissive or tolerant at all, and I’m somewhat scared of what I might do if pushed. I need to feel passionate about something for it to succeed, and, oh, I really want our marriage to succeed!
Please forgive me for writing all this. I don't mean that I really think you'll be a "joy of the street, and sorrow of the home." It's just that I didn't sleep last night, and I feel sort of hollow behind the eyes.
Please forgive me for writing all this. I don't mean to suggest that I truly believe you'll be a "joy of the street, and sorrow of the home." It's just that I didn't sleep last night, and I feel kind of empty behind the eyes.
May the year that's coming bring good counsel and happiness and tranquillity to both of us!
May the upcoming year bring us both good advice, happiness, and peace!
As ever,
As always,
S.
S.
January 1.
January 1st.
Dear Judy:
Dear Judy,
Something terribly sort of queer has happened, and positively I don't know whether it did happen or whether I dreamed it. I'll tell you from the beginning, and I think it might be as well if you burned this letter; it's not quite proper for Jervis's eyes.
Something really strange has happened, and honestly, I can't tell if it actually happened or if I just dreamed it. I'll start from the beginning, and I think it might be best if you burned this letter; it's not really appropriate for Jervis to see.
You remember my telling you the case of Thomas Kehoe, whom we placed out last June? He had an alcoholic heredity on both sides, and as a baby seems to have been fattened on beer instead of milk. He entered the John Grier at the age of nine, and twice, according to his record in the Doomsday Book, he managed to get himself intoxicated, once on beer stolen from some workmen, and once (and thoroughly) on cooking brandy. You can see with what misgivings we placed him out. But we warned the family (hard-working temperate farming people) and hoped for the best.
You remember me telling you about Thomas Kehoe, who we placed last June? He had a family history of alcoholism on both sides, and as a baby, he seems to have been fed beer instead of milk. He joined the John Grier at the age of nine, and twice, according to his record in the Doomsday Book, he managed to get drunk—once on beer he stole from some workers and once (and completely) on cooking brandy. You can understand why we were hesitant to place him. But we informed the family (hard-working, moderate farming people) and hoped for the best.
Yesterday the family telegraphed that they could keep him no longer. Would I please meet him on the six o'clock train? Turnfelt met the six o'clock train. No boy. I sent a night message telling of his non-arrival and asking for particulars.
Yesterday the family messaged that they couldn't keep him any longer. Would I please meet him on the six o'clock train? Turnfelt met the six o'clock train. No boy. I sent a night message reporting his non-arrival and asking for details.
I stayed up later than usual last night putting my desk in order and—sort of making up my mind to face the New Year. Toward twelve I suddenly realized that the hour was late and that I was very tired. I had begun getting ready for bed when I was startled by a banging on the front door. I stuck my head out of the window and demanded who was there.
I stayed up later than usual last night organizing my desk and kind of deciding to tackle the New Year. Around midnight, I suddenly realized it was late and that I was really tired. I had started getting ready for bed when I was startled by a knock on the front door. I poked my head out the window and asked who it was.
"Tommy Kehoe," said a very shaky voice.
"Tommy Kehoe," said a very unsteady voice.
I went down and opened the door, and that lad, sixteen years old, tumbled in, dead drunk. Thank Heaven! Percy Witherspoon was within call, and not away off in the Indian camp.
I went downstairs and opened the door, and that kid, sixteen years old, stumbled in, completely drunk. Thank goodness! Percy Witherspoon was nearby, not far away in the Indian camp.
I roused him, and together we conveyed Thomas to our guest room, the only decently isolated spot in the building. Then I telephoned for the doctor, who, I am afraid, had already had a long day. He came, and we put in a pretty terrible night. It developed afterward that the boy had brought along with his luggage a bottle of liniment belonging to his employer. It was made half of alcohol and half of witch hazel; and Thomas had refreshed his journey with this!
I woke him up, and together we took Thomas to our guest room, the only truly private space in the building. Then I called for the doctor, who, unfortunately, had already had a long day. He arrived, and we had a pretty rough night. It turned out later that the boy had brought with him a bottle of liniment that belonged to his employer. It was made of half alcohol and half witch hazel, and Thomas had used it to freshen up during his trip!
He was in such shape that positively I didn't think we'd pull him through—and I hoped we wouldn't. If I were a physician, I'd let such cases gently slip away for the good of society; but you should have seen Sandy work! That terrible lifesaving instinct of his was aroused, and he fought with every inch of energy he possessed.
He was in such bad shape that honestly, I didn’t think we could save him—and I hoped we wouldn’t. If I were a doctor, I’d let cases like that gently fade away for the good of society; but you should have seen Sandy work! That intense lifesaving instinct of his kicked in, and he fought with every bit of energy he had.
I made black coffee, and helped all I could, but the details were pretty messy, and I left the two men to deal with him alone and went back to my room. But I didn't attempt to go to bed; I was afraid they might be wanting me again. Toward four o'clock Sandy came to my library with word that the boy was asleep and that Percy had moved up a cot and would sleep in his room the rest of the night. Poor Sandy looked sort of ashen and haggard and done with life. As I looked at him, I thought about how desperately he worked to save others, and never saved himself, and about that dismal home of his, with never a touch of cheer, and the horrible tragedy in the background of his life. All the rancor I've been saving up seemed to vanish, and a wave of sympathy swept over me. I stretched my hand out to him; he stretched his out to me. And suddenly—I don't know—something electric happened. In another moment we were in each other's arms. He loosened my hands, and put me down in the big armchair.
I made black coffee and helped as much as I could, but things were pretty messy, so I left the two guys to handle him on their own and went back to my room. I didn’t try to go to bed; I was worried they might need me again. Around four o'clock, Sandy came to my library and told me the boy was asleep and that Percy had set up a cot and would stay in his room for the rest of the night. Poor Sandy looked pale, exhausted, and worn out. As I looked at him, I thought about how desperately he worked to save others but never saved himself, and about his gloomy home, which had no joy and the terrible tragedy in his life. All the bitterness I had built up seemed to disappear, and a wave of sympathy washed over me. I reached out my hand to him; he reached back to me. And suddenly—I don’t know—something electric happened. In a moment, we were in each other's arms. He loosened my hands and settled me into the big armchair.
"My God! Sallie, do you think I'm made of iron?" he said and walked out. I went to sleep in the chair, and when I woke the sun was shining in my eyes and Jane was standing over me in amazed consternation.
"My God! Sallie, do you think I’m made of iron?" he said and walked out. I fell asleep in the chair, and when I woke up, the sun was shining in my eyes and Jane was standing over me, looking completely shocked.
This morning at eleven he came back, looked me coldly in the eye without so much as the flicker of an eyelash, and told me that Thomas was to have hot milk every two hours and that the spots in Maggie Peters's throat must be watched.
This morning at eleven, he came back, looked me coldly in the eye without even blinking, and told me that Thomas was to have hot milk every two hours and that the spots in Maggie Peters's throat needed to be monitored.
Here we are back on our old standing, and positively I don't know but what I dreamed that one minute in the night!
Here we are again in our usual spot, and honestly, I’m not sure if I dreamed that one minute last night!
But it would be a piquant situation, wouldn't it, if Sandy and I should discover that we were falling in love with each other, he with a perfectly good wife in the insane asylum and I with an outraged fiance in Washington? I don't know but what the wisest thing for me to do is to resign at once and take myself home, where I can placidly settle down to a few months of embroidering "S McB" on table-cloths, like any other respectable engaged girl.
But it would be a spicy situation, wouldn't it, if Sandy and I found out that we were falling in love with each other, him with a perfectly good wife in the mental hospital and me with an upset fiancé in Washington? I’m not sure if the smartest thing for me to do is to quit right away and go home, where I can calmly settle down to a few months of stitching "S McB" on tablecloths, like any other respectable engaged woman.
I repeat very firmly that this letter isn't for Jervis's consumption. Tear it into little pieces and scatter them in the Caribbean.
I want to be very clear that this letter isn't meant for Jervis. Tear it into small pieces and spread them out in the Caribbean.
S.
S.
January 3.
January 3rd.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
You are right to be annoyed. I know I'm not a satisfactory love letter writer. I have only to glance at the published correspondence of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning to realize that the warmth of my style is not up to standard. But you know already—you have known a long time—that I am not a very emotional person. I suppose I might write a lot of such things as: "Every waking moment you are in my thoughts." "My dear boy, I only live when you are near." But it wouldn't be absolutely true. You don't fill all my thoughts; 107 orphans do that. And I really am quite comfortably alive whether you are here or not. I have to be natural. You surely don't want me to pretend more desolation than I feel. But I do love to see you,—you know that perfectly,—and I am disappointed when you can't come. I fully appreciate all your charming qualities, but, my dear boy, I CAN'T be sentimental on paper. I am always thinking about the hotel chambermaid who reads the letters you casually leave on your bureau. You needn't expostulate that you carry them next your heart, for I know perfectly well that you don't.
You’re justified in feeling annoyed. I know I’m not great at writing love letters. Just looking at the published letters between Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning makes me realize my style isn't anywhere near theirs. But you already know this—you’ve known for a while—I’m not a very emotional person. I could write things like, “You’re on my mind every moment” or “I can only live when you’re close,” but that wouldn’t be completely honest. You don’t occupy all my thoughts; 107 orphans do that. And honestly, I'm perfectly fine whether you’re here or not. I have to be genuine. You surely don’t want me to pretend to feel more sorrow than I actually do. But I do love seeing you—you know that for sure—and I feel let down when you can’t make it. I truly admire all your wonderful traits, but, my dear, I just CAN’T be sentimental in writing. I’m always thinking about the hotel maid who reads the letters you casually leave on your dresser. You don’t need to insist that you keep them close to your heart, because I know you don’t.
Forgive me for that last letter if it hurt your feelings. Since I came to this asylum I am extremely touchy on the subject of drink. You would be, too, if you had seen what I have seen. Several of my chicks are the sad result of alcoholic parents, and they are never going to have a fair chance all their lives. You can't look about a place like this without "aye keeping up a terrible thinking."
Forgive me for that last letter if it upset you. Ever since I got here, I'm really sensitive about the topic of drinking. You would be too if you had seen what I’ve seen. Several of my kids are the unfortunate outcome of alcoholic parents, and they’re never going to get a fair chance in life. You can't look around a place like this without "always keeping up a terrible thinking."
You are right, I am afraid, about its being a woman's trick to make a great show of forgiving a man, and then never letting him hear the end of it. Well, Gordon, I positively don't know what the word "forgiving" means. It can't include "forgetting," for that is a physiological process, and does not result from an act of the will. We all have a collection of memories that we would happily lose, but somehow those are just the ones that insist upon sticking. If "forgiving" means promising never to speak of a thing again, I can doubtless manage that. But it isn't always the wisest way to shut an unpleasant memory inside you. It grows and grows, and runs all through you like a poison.
You’re right, I’m afraid, about how it’s a woman’s tactic to make a big deal out of forgiving a man and then never letting him forget it. Well, Gordon, I honestly don’t know what the word “forgiving” really means. It can’t mean “forgetting,” because that’s a physical process and doesn’t come from a decision. We all have memories we’d love to get rid of, but those are usually the ones that cling to us the hardest. If “forgiving” means promising never to bring it up again, I can probably do that. But it’s not always the best way to bury an unpleasant memory inside you. It just grows and grows, spreading through you like poison.
Oh dear! I really didn't mean to be saying all this. I try to be the cheerful, carefree (and somewhat light-headed) Sallie you like best; but I've come in touch with a great deal of REALNESS during this last year, and I'm afraid I've grown into a very different person from the girl you fell in love with. I'm no longer a gay young thing playing with life. I know it pretty thoroughly now, and that means that I can't be always laughing.
Oh no! I really didn't mean to say all this. I try to be the cheerful, carefree (and somewhat flighty) Sallie you like best; but I've experienced a lot of REALNESS over the past year, and I’m afraid I’ve changed into a very different person from the girl you fell in love with. I'm no longer a carefree young thing just playing around with life. I understand it pretty well now, and that means I can’t always be laughing.
I know this is another beastly uncheerful letter,—as bad as the last, and maybe worse,—but if you knew what we've just been through! A boy—sixteen—of unspeakable heredity has nearly poisoned himself with a disgusting mixture of alcohol and witch hazel. We have been working three days over him, and are just sure now that he is going to recuperate sufficiently to do it again! "It's a gude warld, but they're ill that's in 't."
I know this is another really grim letter—just as bad as the last one, maybe even worse—but if you knew what we’ve just gone through! A boy, only sixteen, with a really terrible background, almost poisoned himself with a disgusting mix of alcohol and witch hazel. We’ve been working on him for three days, and we’re finally confident he’s going to recover enough to try it again! "It's a good world, but those in it are not."
Please excuse that Scotch—it slipped out. Please excuse everything.
Please excuse that Scotch—it just came out. Please excuse everything.
SALLIE.
Sallie.
January 11.
January 11th.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
I hope my two cablegrams didn't give you too terrible a shock. I would have waited to let the first news come by letter, with a chance for details, but I was so afraid you might hear it in some indirect way. The whole thing is dreadful enough, but no lives were lost, and only one serious accident. We can't help shuddering at the thought of how much worse it might have been, with over a hundred sleeping children in this firetrap of a building. That new fire escape was absolutely useless. The wind was blowing toward it, and the flames simply enveloped it. We saved them all by the center stairs—but I'll begin at the beginning, and tell the whole story.
I hope my two cablegrams didn't shock you too much. I wanted to wait and let the first news come by letter so I could include more details, but I was really worried you might hear it from someone else. The whole situation is awful, but thankfully no lives were lost, and there was only one serious injury. We can't help but shudder at how much worse it could have been, with over a hundred sleeping kids in this firetrap of a building. That new fire escape was completely useless. The wind was blowing toward it, and the flames just surrounded it. We managed to save everyone using the center stairs—but let me start at the beginning and tell the whole story.
It had rained all day Friday, thanks to a merciful Providence, and the roofs were thoroughly soaked. Toward night it began to freeze, and the rain turned to sleet. By ten o'clock, when I went to bed the wind was blowing a terrible gale from the northwest, and everything loose about the building was banging and rattling. About two o'clock I suddenly started wide awake, with a bright light in my eyes. I jumped out of bed and ran to the window. The carriage house was a mass of flames, and a shower of sparks was sweeping over our eastern wing. I ran to the bathroom and leaned out of the window. I could see that the roof over the nursery was already blazing in half a dozen places.
It had rained all day Friday, thanks to some kind of mercy from above, and the roofs were completely soaked. By evening, it started to freeze, and the rain changed to sleet. By ten o'clock, when I went to bed, the wind was howling in a terrible storm from the northwest, and everything loose around the building was banging and rattling. Around two o'clock, I suddenly woke up wide awake, with a bright light in my eyes. I jumped out of bed and ran to the window. The carriage house was engulfed in flames, and a shower of sparks was flying over our eastern wing. I ran to the bathroom and leaned out of the window. I could see that the roof over the nursery was already on fire in several spots.
Well, my dear, my heart just simply didn't beat for as much as a minute. I thought of those seventeen babies up under that roof, and I couldn't swallow. I finally managed to get my shaking knees to work again, and I dashed back to the hall, grabbing my automobile coat as I ran.
Well, my dear, my heart just didn't beat for even a minute. I thought about those seventeen babies under that roof, and I couldn't swallow. I finally got my shaking knees to work again and ran back to the hall, grabbing my car coat as I went.
I drummed on Betsy's and Miss Matthews' and Miss Snaith's doors, just as Mr. Witherspoon, who had also been wakened by the light, came tumbling upstairs three steps at a time, struggling into an overcoat as he ran.
I knocked on Betsy's door as well as Miss Matthews' and Miss Snaith's, just as Mr. Witherspoon, who had also been woken up by the light, came rushing upstairs three steps at a time, trying to put on his overcoat as he ran.
"Get all the children down to the dining room, babies first," I gasped. "I'll turn in the alarm."
"Get all the kids downstairs to the dining room, babies first," I panted. "I'll set off the alarm."
He dashed on up to the third floor while I ran to the telephone—and oh, I thought I'd never get Central! She was sound asleep.
He rushed up to the third floor while I ran to the phone—and oh, I thought I'd never get through to Central! She was fast asleep.
"The John Grier Home is burning! Turn in the fire alarm and rouse the village. Give me 505," I said.
"The John Grier Home is on fire! Sound the fire alarm and alert the village. Get me 505," I said.
In one second I had the doctor. Maybe I wasn't glad to hear his cool, unexcited voice!
In one second, I had the doctor. Maybe I wasn't exactly thrilled to hear his calm, unexcited voice!
"We're on fire!" I cried. "Come quick, and bring all the men you can!"
"We're on fire!" I shouted. "Hurry up and bring all the guys you can!"
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Fill the bathtubs with water and put in blankets." And he hung up.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Fill the bathtubs with water and put in blankets." Then he hung up.
I dashed back to the hall. Betsy was ringing our fire bell, and Percy had already routed out his Indian tribes in dormitories B and C.
I rushed back to the hall. Betsy was ringing our fire alarm, and Percy had already rounded up his Indian tribes in dormitories B and C.
Our first thought was not to stop the fire, but to get the children to a place of safety. We began in G, and went from crib to crib, snatching a baby and a blanket, and rushing them to the door, and handing them out to the Indians, who lugged them downstairs. Both G and F were full of smoke, and the children so dead asleep that we couldn't rouse them to a walking state.
Our first thought wasn’t to put out the fire, but to get the kids to safety. We started in G, going from crib to crib, grabbing a baby and a blanket, rushing them to the door, and handing them to the Indians, who carried them downstairs. Both G and F were filled with smoke, and the kids were so sound asleep that we couldn’t wake them up enough to walk.
Many times during the next hour did I thank Providence—and Percy Witherspoon—for those vociferous fire drills we have suffered weekly. The twenty-four oldest boys, under his direction, never lost their heads for a second. They divided into four tribes, and sprang to their posts like little soldiers.
Many times in the next hour, I thanked Providence—and Percy Witherspoon—for those loud fire drills we’ve had to endure every week. The twenty-four oldest boys, under his guidance, never panicked for a second. They split into four groups and jumped to their positions like little soldiers.
Two tribes helped in the work of clearing the dormitories and keeping the terrified children in order. One tribe worked the hose from the cupola tank until the firemen came, and the rest devoted themselves to salvage. They spread sheets on the floor, dumped the contents of lockers and bureau drawers into them, and bundled them down the stairs. All of the extra clothes were saved except those the children had actually been wearing the day before, and most of the staff's things. But clothes, bedding—everything belonging to G and F went. The rooms were too full of smoke to make it safe to enter after we had got out the last child.
Two tribes helped clear out the dorms and keep the scared kids in line. One tribe used the hose from the cupola tank until the firemen arrived, while the other focused on salvaging what they could. They laid out sheets on the floor, emptied lockers and dressers into them, and carried everything down the stairs. They managed to save all the extra clothes except for what the kids were wearing the day before and most of the staff's belongings. But all clothes, bedding—everything belonging to G and F was lost. The rooms were too smoky to enter safely once we got the last child out.
By the time the doctor arrived with Luellen and two neighbors he had picked up, we were marching the last dormitory down to the kitchen, the most remote corner from the fire. The poor chicks were mainly barefooted and wrapped in blankets. We told them to bring their clothes when we wakened them, but in their fright they thought only of getting out.
By the time the doctor showed up with Luellen and two neighbors he had picked up, we were leading the last group of girls down to the kitchen, the farthest spot from the fire. The poor girls were mostly barefoot and wrapped in blankets. We told them to grab their clothes when we woke them up, but in their fear, they only thought about getting outside.
By this time the halls were so full of smoke we could scarcely breathe. It looked as though the whole building would go, though the wind was blowing away from my west wing.
By then, the halls were filled with so much smoke that we could barely breathe. It felt like the entire building was going to catch fire, even though the wind was blowing away from my west wing.
Another automobile full of retainers from Knowltop came up almost immediately, and they all fell to fighting the fire. The regular fire department didn't come for ten minutes after that. You see, they have only horses, and we are three miles out, and the roads pretty bad. It was a dreadful night, cold and sleety, and such a wind blowing that you could scarcely stand up. The men climbed out on the roof, and worked in their stocking feet to keep from slipping off. They beat out the sparks with wet blankets, and chopped, and squirted that tankful of water, and behaved like heroes.
Another car full of helpers from Knowltop arrived almost right away, and they all jumped in to fight the fire. The regular fire department didn’t show up for another ten minutes. You see, they only have horses, and we’re three miles out, plus the roads are pretty rough. It was an awful night, cold and sleety, with such a strong wind that you could barely stand. The men climbed onto the roof and worked in their socks to avoid slipping off. They used wet blankets to put out the sparks, chopped at the flames, and sprayed water from that tank, acting like heroes.
The doctor meanwhile took charge of the children. Our first thought was to get them away to a place of safety, for if the whole building should go, we couldn't march them out of doors into that awful wind, with only their night clothes and blankets for protection. By this time several more automobiles full of men had come, and we requisitioned the cars.
The doctor took care of the kids in the meantime. Our first thought was to move them to safety because if the whole building collapsed, we couldn't just send them outside into that terrible wind with only their night clothes and blankets for warmth. By this time, more cars filled with men had arrived, and we called for the cars.
Knowltop had providentially been opened for the week end in order to entertain a house party in honor of the old gentleman's sixty-seventh birthday. He was one of the first to arrive, and he put his entire place at our disposal. It was the nearest refuge, and we accepted it instantaneously. We bundled our twenty littlest tots into cars, and ran them down to the house. The guests, who were excitedly dressing in order to come to the fire, received the chicks and tucked them away into their own beds. This pretty well filled up all the available house room, but Mr. Reimer (Mr. Knowltop's family name) has just built a big new stucco barn, with a garage hitched to it, all nicely heated, and ready for us.
Knowltop had happily been opened for the weekend to host a house party celebrating the old gentleman's sixty-seventh birthday. He was one of the first to arrive and offered his entire place to us. It was the closest refuge, and we immediately accepted. We packed our twenty youngest kids into cars and drove them down to the house. The guests, who were eagerly getting ready to come to the fire, welcomed the kids and tucked them into their own beds. This pretty much filled up all the available space in the house, but Mr. Reimer (Mr. Knowltop's last name) had just built a large new stucco barn with a garage attached to it, all nicely heated and ready for us.
After the babies were disposed of in the house, those helpful guests got to work and fixed the barn to receive the next older kiddies. They covered the floor with hay, and spread blankets and carriage robes over it, and bedded down thirty of the children in rows like little calves. Miss Matthews and a nurse went with them, administered hot milk all around, and within half an hour the tots were sleeping as peacefully as in their little cribs.
After the babies were taken care of in the house, the helpful guests got to work and prepared the barn for the next older kids. They covered the floor with hay, spread blankets and carriage covers over it, and settled thirty of the children in rows like little calves. Miss Matthews and a nurse went with them, served hot milk all around, and within half an hour, the little ones were sleeping as peacefully as they would in their cribs.
But meanwhile we at the house were having sensations. The doctor's first question upon arrival had been:
But meanwhile, we at the house were experiencing feelings. The doctor's first question upon arriving had been:
"You've counted the children? You know they're all here?"
"You've counted the kids? You know they're all here?"
"We've made certain that every dormitory was empty before we left it," I replied.
"We made sure that every dorm was empty before we left it," I replied.
You see, they couldn't be counted in that confusion. Twenty or so of the boys were still in the dormitories, working under Percy Witherspoon to save clothing and furniture, and the older girls were sorting over bushels of shoes and trying to fit them to the little ones, who were running about underfoot and wailing dismally.
You see, they couldn't be counted in all that chaos. About twenty of the boys were still in the dorms, working with Percy Witherspoon to save clothes and furniture, while the older girls were sorting through piles of shoes, trying to find the right fit for the little ones, who were running around underfoot and crying loudly.
Well, after we had loaded and despatched about seven car loads of children, the doctor suddenly called out:
Well, after we had loaded and sent off about seven car loads of kids, the doctor suddenly shouted:
"Where's Allegra?"
"Where is Allegra?"
There was a horrified silence. No one had seen her. And then Miss Snaith stood up and SHRIEKED. Betsy took her by the shoulders, and shook her into coherence.
There was a shocked silence. No one had noticed her. Then Miss Snaith stood up and SCREAMED. Betsy grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her back to reality.
It seems that she had thought Allegra was coming down with a cough, and in order to get her out of the cold, had moved her crib from the fresh air nursery into the store room—and then forgotten it.
It looks like she thought Allegra was coming down with a cough, so to get her out of the cold, she moved her crib from the fresh air nursery into the storage room—and then forgot about it.
Well, my dear, you know where the store room is! We simply stared at one another with white faces. By this time the whole east wing was gutted and the third-floor stairs in flames. There didn't seem a chance that the child was still alive. The doctor was the first to move. He snatched up a wet blanket that was lying in a soppy pile on the floor of the hall and sprang for the stairs. We yelled to him to come back. It simply looked like suicide; but he kept on, and disappeared into the smoke. I dashed outside and shouted to the firemen on the roof. The store room window was too little for a man to go through, and they hadn't opened it for fear of creating a draft.
Well, my dear, you know where the storage room is! We just stared at each other, pale-faced. By now, the entire east wing was destroyed, and the third-floor stairs were engulfed in flames. It didn’t seem like there was any chance the child was still alive. The doctor was the first to act. He grabbed a wet blanket that was lying in a soaked pile on the floor of the hall and rushed for the stairs. We yelled at him to come back. It looked like certain death; but he kept going and vanished into the smoke. I ran outside and shouted to the firefighters on the roof. The storage room window was too small for a person to get through, and they hadn’t opened it for fear of causing a draft.
I can't describe what happened in the next agonizing ten minutes. The third-floor stairs fell in with a crash and a burst of flame about five seconds after the doctor passed over them. We had given him up for lost when a shout went up from the crowd on the lawn, and he appeared for an instant at one of those dormer windows in the attic, and called for the firemen to put up a ladder. Then he disappeared, and it seemed to us that they'd never get that ladder in place; but they finally did, and two men went up. The opening of the window had created a draft, and they were almost overpowered by the volume of smoke that burst out at the top. After an eternity the doctor appeared again with a white bundle in his arms. He passed it out to the men, and then he staggered back and dropped out of sight!
I can't explain what happened in the next painful ten minutes. The stairs on the third floor collapsed with a loud crash and a burst of flames about five seconds after the doctor went over them. We had given up hope when a shout erupted from the crowd on the lawn, and he appeared for a moment at one of the dormer windows in the attic, calling for the firemen to bring a ladder. Then he vanished, and it seemed like they would never get that ladder set up; but eventually, they did, and two guys climbed up. The window opening caused a rush of air, and they were almost overwhelmed by the thick smoke billowing out at the top. After what felt like forever, the doctor showed up again with a white bundle in his arms. He passed it out to the men, and then he staggered back and disappeared from view!
I don't know what happened for the next few minutes; I turned away and shut my eyes. Somehow or other they got him out and halfway down the ladder, and then they let him slip. You see, he was unconscious from all the smoke he'd swallowed, and the ladder was slippery with ice and terribly wobbly. Anyway, when I looked again he was lying in a heap on the ground, with the crowd all running, and somebody yelling to give him air. They thought at first he was dead. But Dr. Metcalf from the village examined him, and said his leg was broken, and two ribs, and that aside from that he seemed whole. He was still unconscious when they put him on two of the baby mattresses that had been thrown out of the windows and laid him in the wagon that brought the ladders and started him home.
I don't know what happened for the next few minutes; I turned away and shut my eyes. Somehow, they got him out and halfway down the ladder, but then they let him slip. You see, he was unconscious from all the smoke he had inhaled, and the ladder was icy and really unstable. Anyway, when I looked again, he was lying in a heap on the ground, with the crowd running around and someone shouting to give him air. They thought at first he was dead. But Dr. Metcalf from the village examined him and said his leg was broken, along with two ribs, and that aside from that, he seemed fine. He was still unconscious when they put him on two of the baby mattresses that had been thrown out of the windows and laid him in the wagon that brought the ladders and took him home.
And the rest of us, left behind, kept right on with the work as though nothing had happened. The queer thing about a calamity like this is that there is so much to be done on every side that you don't have a moment to think, and you don't get any of your values straightened out until afterward. The doctor, without a moment's hesitation, had risked his life to save Allegra. It was the bravest thing I ever saw, and yet the whole business occupied only fifteen minutes out of that dreadful night. At the time, it was just an incident.
And the rest of us, who were left behind, just kept working as if nothing had happened. The strange thing about a disaster like this is that there’s so much to do all around you that you don’t have a second to think, and you don’t really sort out your feelings until later. The doctor, without a second thought, put his life on the line to save Allegra. It was the bravest thing I ever witnessed, and yet the whole thing only took fifteen minutes out of that terrible night. At the time, it was just an incident.
And he saved Allegra. She came out of that blanket with rumpled hair and a look of pleased surprise at the new game of peek-a-boo. She was smiling! The child's escape was little short of a miracle. The fire had started within three feet of her wall, but owing to the direction of the wind, it had worked away from her. If Miss Snaith had believed a little more in fresh air and had left the window open, the fire would have eaten back. But fortunately Miss Snaith does not believe in fresh air, and no such thing happened. If Allegra had gone, I never should have forgiven myself for not letting the Bretlands take her, and I know that Sandy wouldn't.
And he saved Allegra. She emerged from that blanket with messy hair and an expression of happy surprise at the new game of peek-a-boo. She was smiling! The child's escape was almost a miracle. The fire had ignited just three feet from her wall, but because of the wind direction, it spread away from her. If Miss Snaith had believed a bit more in fresh air and had left the window open, the fire would have spread back. But luckily, Miss Snaith does not believe in fresh air, so that didn’t happen. If Allegra had been lost, I would never have forgiven myself for not allowing the Bretlands to take her, and I know Sandy wouldn’t either.
Despite all the loss, I can't be anything but happy when I think of the two horrible tragedies that have been averted. For seven minutes, while the doctor was penned in that blazing third floor, I lived through the agony of believing them both gone, and I start awake in the night trembling with horror.
Despite all the loss, I can't help but feel happy when I think about the two awful tragedies that were avoided. For seven minutes, while the doctor was trapped in that blazing third floor, I endured the torment of believing they were both gone, and I wake up in the night trembling with fear.
But I'll try to tell you the rest. The firemen and the volunteers—particularly the chauffeur and stablemen from Knowltop—worked all night in an absolute frenzy. Our newest negro cook, who is a heroine in her own right, went out and started the laundry fire and made up a boilerful of coffee. It was her own idea. The non-combatants served it to the firemen when they relieved one another for a few minutes' rest, and it helped.
But I'll try to share the rest. The firefighters and volunteers—especially the driver and stable workers from Knowltop—worked through the night in a total frenzy. Our newest Black cook, who is a hero in her own right, went out and started the laundry fire and brewed a whole pot of coffee. It was her own idea. The non-combatants served it to the firefighters when they switched off for a few minutes of rest, and it made a difference.
We got the remainder of the children off to various hospitable houses, except the older boys, who worked all night as well as any one. It was absolutely inspiring to see the way this entire township turned out and helped. People who haven't appeared to know that the asylum existed came in the middle of the night and put their whole houses at our disposal. They took the children in, gave them hot baths and hot soup, and tucked them into bed. And so far as I can make out, not one of my one hundred and seven chicks is any the worse for hopping about on drenched floors in their bare feet, not even the whooping cough cases.
We got the rest of the kids to different welcoming homes, except for the older boys, who worked all night like everyone else. It was truly inspiring to see how this whole community stepped up to help. People who didn’t even seem to know the orphanage was there came out in the middle of the night and offered their entire homes to us. They took the kids in, gave them warm baths and hot soup, and tucked them into bed. As far as I can tell, not one of my one hundred and seven kids is any worse off for walking around on wet floors in their bare feet, not even the ones with whooping cough.
It was broad daylight before the fire was sufficiently under control to let us know just what we had saved. I will report that my wing is entirely intact, though a little smoky, and the main corridor is pretty nearly all right up to the center staircase; after that everything is charred and drenched. The east wing is a blackened, roofless shell. Your hated Ward F, dear Judy, is gone forever. I wish that you could obliterate it from your mind as absolutely as it is obliterated from the earth. Both in substance and in spirit the old John Grier is done for.
It was broad daylight before we had the fire under control enough to see what we had saved. I can report that my section is completely intact, though a bit smoky, and the main hallway is mostly okay up to the center staircase; after that, everything is burned and soaked. The east wing is a blackened, roofless shell. Your despised Ward F, dear Judy, is gone forever. I wish you could erase it from your mind just as completely as it has been erased from the earth. Both in terms of structure and spirit, the old John Grier is finished.
I must tell you something funny. I never saw so many funny things in my life as happened through that night. When everybody there was in extreme negligee, most of the men in pajamas and ulsters, and all of them without collars, the Hon. Cyrus Wykoff put in a tardy appearance, arrayed as for an afternoon tea. He wore a pearl scarf pin and white spats! But he really was extremely helpful. He put his entire house at our disposal, and I turned over to him Miss Snaith in a state of hysterics; and her nerves so fully occupied him that he didn't get in our way the whole night through.
I have to share something funny. I've never seen so many amusing things in my life as I did that night. Everyone was in their most casual wear, with most of the men in pajamas and long coats, and none of them had collars on. The Hon. Cyrus Wykoff showed up late, dressed like he was going to an afternoon tea. He even wore a pearl scarf pin and white spats! But he was really very helpful. He offered us his entire house, and I handed over Miss Snaith to him while she was in hysterics; her nerves kept him so occupied that he didn't get in our way all night long.
I can't write any more details now; I've never been so rushed in the whole of my life. I'll just assure you that there's no slightest reason for you to cut your trip short. Five trustees were on the spot early Saturday morning, and we are all working like mad to get affairs into some semblance of order. Our asylum at the present moment is scattered over the entire township; but don't be unduly anxious. We know where all the children are. None of them is permanently mislaid. I didn't know that perfect strangers could be so kind. My opinion of the human race has gone up.
I can't share any more details right now; I've never felt this rushed in my life. Just know that there's absolutely no reason for you to shorten your trip. Five trustees arrived early Saturday morning, and we're all working hard to bring things back to some order. Our asylum is currently spread out all over the township, but don’t worry too much. We know where all the kids are. None of them are permanently lost. I didn't realize that complete strangers could be so generous. My view of humanity has really improved.
I haven't seen the doctor. They telegraphed to New York for a surgeon, who set his leg. The break was pretty bad, and will take time. They don't think there are any internal injuries, though he is awfully battered up. As soon as we are allowed to see him I will send more detailed particulars. I really must stop if I am to catch tomorrow's steamer.
I haven't seen the doctor. They sent a telegram to New York for a surgeon, who fixed his leg. The break was pretty bad, and it will take time to heal. They don't think there are any internal injuries, but he is really banged up. As soon as we're allowed to see him, I'll send more detailed information. I really need to wrap this up if I want to catch tomorrow's steamer.
Good-by. Don't worry. There are a dozen silver linings to this cloud that I'll write about tomorrow.
Goodbye. Don't stress. There are plenty of silver linings to this situation that I'll write about tomorrow.
SALLIE.
Sallie.
Good heavens! here comes an automobile with J. F. Bretland in it!
Goodness! Here comes a car with J. F. Bretland in it!
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
January 14.
January 14th.
Dear Judy:
Hi Judy:
Listen to this! J. F. Bretland read about our fire in a New York paper (I will say that the metropolitan press made the most of details), and he posted up here in a twitter of anxiety. His first question as he tumbled across our blackened threshold was,
Listen to this! J. F. Bretland read about our fire in a New York newspaper (I have to say that the big city press highlighted the details), and he rushed up here in a panic. His first question as he stepped over our charred threshold was,
"Is Allegra safe?"
"Is Allegra safe to use?"
"Yes," said I.
"Yeah," I said.
"Thank God!" he cried, and dropped into a chair. "This is no place for children," he said severely, "and I have come to take her home. I want the boys, too," he added hastily before I had a chance to speak. "My wife and I have talked it over, and we have decided that since we are going to the trouble of starting a nursery, we might as well run it for three as for one."
"Thank God!" he exclaimed, collapsing into a chair. "This is no place for kids," he said firmly, "and I've come to take her home. I want the boys too," he quickly added before I could respond. "My wife and I have discussed it, and we've decided that since we're going to the trouble of starting a nursery, we might as well run it for three instead of one."
I led him up to my library, where our little family has been domiciled since the fire, and ten minutes later, when I was called down to confer with the trustees, I left J. F. Bretland with his new daughter on his knee and a son leaning against each arm, the proudest father in the United States.
I took him up to my library, where our little family has been living since the fire, and ten minutes later, when I was called down to meet with the trustees, I left J. F. Bretland with his new daughter on his lap and a son leaning against each arm, the proudest dad in the United States.
So, you see, our fire has accomplished one thing: those three children are settled for life. It is almost worth the loss.
So, you see, our fire has achieved one thing: those three kids are set for life. It's almost worth the loss.
But I don't believe I told you how the fire started. There are so many things I haven't told you that my arm aches at the thought of writing them all. Sterry, we have since discovered, was spending the week end as our guest. After a bibulous evening passed at "Jack's Place," he returned to our carriage house, climbed in through a window, lighted a candle, made himself comfortable, and dropped asleep. He must have forgotten to put out the candle; anyway, the fire happened, and Sterry just escaped with his life. He is now in the town hospital, bathed in sweet oil, and painfully regretting his share in our troubles.
But I don't think I've told you how the fire started. There are so many things I haven't shared that my arm hurts just thinking about writing them all down. Sterry, as we later found out, was spending the weekend as our guest. After a heavy night at "Jack's Place," he came back to our carriage house, crawled in through a window, lit a candle, got comfortable, and fell asleep. He must have forgotten to put out the candle; anyway, a fire broke out, and Sterry barely escaped with his life. He’s now in the town hospital, covered in sweet oil, and feeling really sorry for his part in our problems.
I am pleased to learn that our insurance was pretty adequate, so the money loss won't be so tremendous, after all. As for other kinds of loss, there aren't any! Actually, nothing but gain so far as I can make out, barring, of course, our poor smashed-up doctor. Everybody has been wonderful; I didn't know that so much charity and kindness existed in the human race. Did I ever say anything against trustees? I take it back. Four of them posted up from New York the morning after the fire, and all of the local people have been wonderful. Even the Hon. Cy has been so occupied in remaking the morals of the five orphans quartered upon him that he hasn't caused any trouble at all.
I’m glad to find out that our insurance coverage was decent, so the financial loss won’t be as bad as I thought. As for other types of loss, there aren’t any! Actually, it seems like we’re only gaining, except, of course, for our poor injured doctor. Everyone has been amazing; I had no idea there was so much kindness and generosity in people. Did I ever say anything negative about trustees? I take it back. Four of them came up from New York the morning after the fire, and all the local folks have been fantastic. Even the Hon. Cy has been so busy trying to improve the morals of the five orphans living with him that he hasn’t caused any trouble at all.
The fire occurred early Saturday morning, and Sunday the ministers in all the churches called for volunteers to accept in their houses one or two children as guests for three weeks, until the asylum could get its plant into working order again.
The fire happened early Saturday morning, and on Sunday the ministers in all the churches asked for volunteers to take in one or two children as guests for three weeks, until the shelter could get everything up and running again.
It was inspiring to see the response. Every child was disposed of within half an hour. And consider what that means for the future: every one of those families is going to take a personal interest in this asylum from now on. Also, consider what it means for the children. They are finding out how a real family lives, and this is the first time that dozens of them have ever crossed the threshold of a private house.
It was inspiring to see the response. Every child was placed within half an hour. And think about what that means for the future: every one of those families is going to take a personal interest in this shelter from now on. Also, think about what it means for the kids. They are learning what a real family is like, and for many of them, this is the first time they have ever stepped into a private home.
As for more permanent plans to take us through the winter, listen to all this. The country club has a caddies' clubhouse which they don't use in winter and which they have politely put at our disposal. It joins our land on the back, and we are fitting it up for fourteen children, with Miss Matthews in charge. Our dining room and kitchen still being intact, they will come here for meals and school, returning home at night all the better for half a mile walk. "The Pavilion on the Links" we are calling it.
As for our more long-term plans to get us through the winter, check this out. The country club has a caddies' clubhouse that they don’t use in winter, and they've kindly offered it to us. It connects to our property at the back, and we’re setting it up for fourteen kids, with Miss Matthews in charge. Since our dining room and kitchen are still fully functional, they’ll come here for meals and school, heading home at night after a nice half-mile walk. We’re calling it "The Pavilion on the Links."
Then that nice motherly Mrs. Wilson, next door to the doctor's,—she who has been so efficient with our little Loretta,—has agreed to take in five more at four dollars a week each. I am leaving with her some of the most promising older girls who have shown housekeeping instincts, and would like to learn cooking on a decently small scale. Mrs. Wilson and her husband are such a wonderful couple, thrifty and industrious and simple and loving, I think it would do the girls good to observe them. A training class in wifehood!
Then that lovely, motherly Mrs. Wilson, who lives next to the doctor—she who has been so helpful with our little Loretta—has agreed to take in five more kids for four dollars a week each. I'm leaving with her some of the older girls who have shown an interest in housekeeping and want to learn how to cook on a smaller scale. Mrs. Wilson and her husband are such a great couple, practical and hard-working, and so kind and loving. I think it would really benefit the girls to see them in action. A training class in being a good wife!
I told you about the Knowltop people on the east of us, who took in forty-seven youngsters the night of the fire, and how their entire house party turned themselves into emergency nursemaids? We relieved them of thirty-six the next day, but they still have eleven. Did I ever call Mr. Knowltop a crusty old curmudgeon? I take it back. I beg his pardon. He's a sweet lamb. Now, in the time of our need, what do you think that blessed man has done? He has fitted up an empty tenant house on the estate for our babies, has himself engaged an English trained baby nurse to take charge, and furnishes them with the superior milk from his own model dairy. He says he has been wondering for years what to do with that milk. He can't afford to sell it, because he loses four cents on every quart!
I told you about the Knowltop people to the east of us, who took in forty-seven kids the night of the fire, and how their entire party turned into emergency caregivers? We took thirty-six of them the next day, but they still have eleven left. Did I ever call Mr. Knowltop a grumpy old curmudgeon? I take that back. I apologize. He's a sweetheart. Now, during our time of need, what do you think that wonderful man has done? He has set up an empty rental house on his property for our little ones, hired an English-trained nanny to look after them, and gives them the excellent milk from his own top-notch dairy. He says he’s been trying to figure out for years what to do with that milk. He can't sell it because he loses four cents on every quart!
The twelve older girls from dormitory A I am putting into the farmer's new cottage. The poor Turnfelts, who had occupied it just two days, are being shoved on into the village. But they wouldn't be any good in looking after the children, and I need their room. Three or four of these girls have been returned from foster homes as intractable, and they require pretty efficient supervision. So what do you think I've done? Telegraphed to Helen Brooks to chuck the publishers and take charge of my girls instead. You know she will be wonderful with them. She accepted provisionally. Poor Helen has had enough of this irrevocable contract business; she wants everything in life to be on trial!
The twelve older girls from dormitory A are being moved into the farmer's new cottage. The poor Turnfelts, who had been there for just two days, are being pushed into the village. But they wouldn’t be any good at taking care of the kids, and I need their space. Three or four of these girls have been sent back from foster homes as difficult cases, and they need pretty strong supervision. So, guess what I did? I telegraphed Helen Brooks to drop everything with the publishers and take charge of my girls instead. You know she’ll be amazing with them. She tentatively agreed. Poor Helen has had enough of this permanent contract stuff; she wants everything in life to be on a trial basis!
For the older boys something particularly nice has happened; we have received a gift of gratitude from J. F. Bretland. He went down to thank the doctor for Allegra. They had a long talk about the needs of the institution, and J. F. B. came back and gave me a check for $3000 to build the Indian camps on a substantial scale. He and Percy and the village architect have drawn up plans, and in two weeks, we hope, the tribes will move into winter quarters.
For the older boys, something really great has happened; we got a thank-you gift from J. F. Bretland. He went to thank the doctor for Allegra. They had a long conversation about the needs of the facility, and J. F. B. returned and gave me a check for $3000 to build the Indian camps on a bigger scale. He, Percy, and the village architect have put together plans, and in two weeks, we hope the tribes will move into their winter quarters.
What does it matter if my one hundred and seven children have been burned out, since they live in such a kind-hearted world as this?
What does it matter if my one hundred and seven children have been burned out, since they live in such a kind-hearted world as this?
Friday.
Friday.
I suppose you are wondering why I don't vouchsafe some details about the doctor's condition. I can't give any first-hand information, since he won't see me. However, he has seen everybody except me—Betsy, Allegra, Mrs. Livermore, Mr. Bretland, Percy, various trustees. They all report that he is progressing as comfortably as could be expected with two broken ribs and a fractured fibula. That, I believe, is the professional name of the particular leg bone he broke. He doesn't like to have a fuss made over him, and he won't pose gracefully as a hero. I myself, as grateful head of this institution, called on several different occasions to present my official thanks, but I was invariably met at the door with word that he was sleeping and did not wish to be disturbed. The first two times I believed Mrs. McGurk; after that—well, I know our doctor! So when it came time to send our little maid to prattle her unconscious good-bys to the man who had saved her life, I despatched her in charge of Betsy.
I guess you're wondering why I don't share any details about the doctor's condition. I can't provide any firsthand information, since he won't see me. However, he's seen everyone except me—Betsy, Allegra, Mrs. Livermore, Mr. Bretland, Percy, and various trustees. They all say he's doing as well as could be expected with two broken ribs and a fractured fibula. That, I think, is the medical term for the specific leg bone he broke. He doesn't like to have a fuss made over him, and he won't play the role of a hero. I, as the grateful head of this institution, tried on several occasions to express my official thanks, but I was always met at the door with news that he was sleeping and didn't want to be disturbed. The first two times I believed Mrs. McGurk; after that—well, I know our doctor! So when it came time to send our little maid to say her unconscious goodbyes to the man who had saved her life, I sent her off with Betsy.
I haven't an idea what is the matter with the man. He was friendly enough last week, but now, if I want an opinion from him, I have to send Percy to extract it. I do think that he might see me as the superintendent of the asylum, even if he doesn't wish our acquaintance to be on a personal basis. There is no doubt about it, our Sandy is Scotch!
I have no idea what's wrong with the guy. He was friendly enough last week, but now, if I want his opinion, I have to send Percy to get it. I really think he might see me as the superintendent of the asylum, even if he doesn't want to know me personally. No doubt about it, our Sandy is definitely Scottish!
LATER.
Later.
It is going to require a fortune in stamps to get this letter to Jamaica, but I do want you to know all the news, and we have never had so many exhilarating things happen since 1876, when we were founded. This fire has given us such a shock that we are going to be more alive for years to come. I believe that every institution ought to be burned to the ground every twenty-five years in order to get rid of old-fashioned equipment and obsolete ideas. I am superlatively glad now that we didn't spend Jervis's money last summer; it would have been intensively tragic to have had that burn. I don't mind so much about John Grier's, since he made it in a patent medicine which, I hear, contained opium.
It’s going to cost a fortune in stamps to send this letter to Jamaica, but I really want you to know all the updates, and we’ve never had so many exciting things happen since 1876, when we were founded. This fire has shocked us so much that we’re going to be more energized for years to come. I truly believe that every organization should be burned to the ground every twenty-five years to clear out outdated equipment and old ideas. I’m really glad now that we didn’t spend Jervis’s money last summer; it would have been extremely tragic if that had burned. I’m not as concerned about John Grier’s since he made it in a patent medicine that, I hear, contained opium.
As to the remnant of us that the fire left behind, it is already boarded up and covered with tar-paper, and we are living along quite comfortably in our portion of a house. It affords sufficient room for the staff and the children's dining room and kitchen, and more permanent plans can be made later.
As for the rest of us that the fire spared, it’s already boarded up and covered with tar paper, and we’re living quite comfortably in our part of the house. It has enough space for the staff and the children’s dining room and kitchen, and more permanent arrangements can be made later.
Do you perceive what has happened to us? The good Lord has heard my prayer, and the John Grier Home is a cottage institution!
Do you see what has happened to us? The good Lord has listened to my prayer, and the John Grier Home is a cozy place now!
I am,
I'm,
The busiest person north of the equator,
The busiest person north of the equator,
S. McBRIDE.
S. McBRIDE.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
January 16.
January 16th.
Dear Gordon:
Hey Gordon:
Please, please behave yourself, and don't make things harder than they are. It's absolutely out of the question for me to give up the asylum this instant. You ought to realize that I can't abandon my chicks just when they are so terribly in need of me. Neither am I ready to drop this blasted philanthropy. (You can see how your language looks in my handwriting!)
Please, please behave yourself, and don't make things harder than they are. It's absolutely out of the question for me to give up the asylum right now. You should understand that I can't abandon my kids just when they really need me. I'm also not ready to give up this damn philanthropy. (You can see how your language looks in my handwriting!)
You have no cause to worry. I am not overworking. I am enjoying it; never was so busy and happy in my life. The papers made the fire out much more lurid than it really was. That picture of me leaping from the roof with a baby under each arm was overdrawn. One or two of the children have sore throats, and our poor doctor is in a plaster cast. But we're all alive, thank Heaven! and are going to pull through without permanent scars.
You don’t need to worry. I’m not overworking. I’m really enjoying it; I’ve never been this busy and happy in my life. The news made the fire sound much worse than it actually was. That image of me jumping off the roof with a baby in each arm was exaggerated. A couple of the kids have sore throats, and our poor doctor is in a cast. But we’re all alive, thank God! and we're going to get through this without any lasting damage.
I can't write details now; I'm simply rushed to death. And don't come—please! Later, when things have settled just a little, you and I must have a talk about you and me, but I want time to think about it first.
I can't write much right now; I'm just overwhelmed. And please don't come over! Later, when things calm down a bit, we need to have a conversation about us, but I need some time to think it over first.
S.
S.
January 21.
January 21st.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
Helen Brooks is taking hold of those fourteen fractious girls in a most masterly fashion. The job is quite the toughest I had to offer, and she likes it. I think she is going to be a valuable addition to our staff.
Helen Brooks is managing those fourteen difficult girls in a really impressive way. This is definitely the toughest job I had available, and she enjoys it. I believe she's going to be a great addition to our team.
And I forgot to tell you about Punch. When the fire occurred, those two nice women who kept him all summer were on the point of catching a train for California—and they simply tucked him under their arms, along with their luggage, and carried him off. So Punch spends the winter in Pasadena and I rather fancy he is theirs for good. Do you wonder that I am in an exalted mood over all these happenings?
And I forgot to mention Punch. When the fire happened, those two lovely women who looked after him all summer were just about to catch a train to California—so they tucked him under their arms, along with their luggage, and took him with them. Now Punch is spending the winter in Pasadena, and I have a feeling he’s theirs for good. Can you blame me for feeling so uplifted about all of this?
LATER.
Later.
Poor bereaved Percy has just been spending the evening with me, because I am supposed to understand his troubles. Why must I be supposed to understand everybody's troubles? It's awfully wearing to be pouring out sympathy from an empty heart. The poor boy at present is pretty low, but I rather suspect—with Betsy's aid—that he will pull through. He is just on the edge of falling in love with Betsy, but he doesn't know it. He's in the stage now where he's sort of enjoying his troubles. He feels himself a tragic hero, a man who has suffered deeply. But I notice that when Betsy is about, he offers cheerful assistance in whatever work is toward.
Poor bereaved Percy just spent the evening with me because I'm expected to understand his troubles. Why am I supposed to understand everyone’s problems? It’s exhausting to keep pouring out sympathy from an empty heart. Right now, the poor guy is feeling pretty down, but I suspect—thanks to Betsy—that he’ll be okay. He’s on the verge of falling in love with Betsy, but he doesn’t realize it yet. He’s currently in a phase where he's kind of enjoying his struggles. He sees himself as a tragic hero, someone who has suffered a lot. But I can tell that when Betsy is around, he offers cheerful help with whatever needs doing.
Gordon telegraphed today that he is coming tomorrow. I am dreading the interview, for I know we are going to have an altercation. He wrote the day after the fire and begged me to "chuck the asylum" and get married immediately, and now he's coming to argue it out. I can't make him understand that a job involving the happiness of one hundred or so children can't be chucked with such charming insouciance. I tried my best to keep him away, but, like the rest of his sex, he's stubborn. Oh dear, I don't know what's ahead of us! I wish I could glance into next year for a moment.
Gordon messaged today that he’s coming tomorrow. I’m dreading the meeting because I know we’re going to have a disagreement. He wrote the day after the fire and pleaded with me to "ditch the asylum" and get married right away, and now he’s coming to discuss it. I can’t get him to see that a job involving the happiness of about a hundred children can’t just be thrown away so casually. I tried my best to keep him away, but, like most guys, he’s stubborn. Oh man, I don’t know what’s in store for us! I wish I could peek into next year just for a moment.
The doctor is still in his plaster cast, but I hear is doing well, after a grumbly fashion. He is able to sit up a little every day and to receive a carefully selected list of visitors. Mrs. McGurk sorts them out at the door, and repudiates the ones she doesn't like.
The doctor is still in his plaster cast, but I hear he’s doing well, in a grumpy sort of way. He can sit up a bit more each day and has a carefully chosen list of visitors. Mrs. McGurk filters them at the door and turns away the ones she doesn’t approve of.
Good-by. I'd write some more, but I'm so sleepy that my eyes are shutting on me. (The idiom is Sadie Kate's.) I must go to bed and get some sleep against the one hundred and seven troubles of tomorrow.
Goodbye. I'd write more, but I'm so tired that my eyes are closing on me. (The saying is Sadie Kate's.) I need to go to bed and get some sleep to prepare for the hundred and seven troubles of tomorrow.
With love to the Pendletons,
With love to the Pendletons,
S. McB.
S. McB.
January 22.
January 22nd.
Dear Judy:
Hey Judy:
This letter has nothing to do with the John Grier Home. It's merely from Sallie McBride.
This letter isn't related to the John Grier Home. It's just from Sallie McBride.
Do you remember when we read Huxley's letters our senior year? That book contained a phrase which has stuck in my memory ever since: "There is always a Cape Horn in one's life that one either weathers or wrecks oneself on." It's terribly true; and the trouble is that you can't always recognize your Cape Horn when you see it. The sailing is sometimes pretty foggy, and you're wrecked before you know it.
Do you remember when we read Huxley's letters in our senior year? That book had a phrase that has stuck in my mind ever since: "There is always a Cape Horn in one's life that one either weathers or wrecks oneself on." It's really true; and the problem is that you can't always identify your Cape Horn when it appears. The sailing is sometimes pretty foggy, and you can be wrecked before you even realize it.
I've been realizing of late that I have reached the Cape Horn of my own life. I entered upon my engagement to Gordon honestly and hopefully, but little by little I've grown doubtful of the outcome. The girl he loves is not the ME I want to be. It's the ME I've been trying to grow away from all this last year. I'm not sure she ever really existed. Gordon just imagined she did. Anyway, she doesn't exist any more, and the only fair course both to him and to myself was to end it.
I've been realizing lately that I've reached the Cape Horn of my own life. I entered my engagement to Gordon with honesty and hope, but little by little I've started to doubt the outcome. The girl he loves isn't the ME I want to be. It's the ME I've been trying to move away from all this past year. I’m not even sure she ever really existed. Gordon just imagined she did. Anyway, she doesn't exist anymore, and the only fair thing for both him and me is to end it.
We no longer have any interests in common; we are not friends. He doesn't comprehend it; he thinks that I am making it up, that all I have to do is to take an interest in his life, and everything will turn out happily. Of course I do take an interest when he's with me. I talk about the things he wants to talk about, and he doesn't know that there's a whole part of me—the biggest part of me—that simply doesn't meet him at any point. I pretend when I am with him. I am not myself, and if we were to live together in constant daily intercourse, I'd have to keep on pretending all my life. He wants me to watch his face and smile when he smiles and frown when he frowns. He can't realize that I'm an individual just as much as he is.
We don’t have any interests in common anymore; we aren’t friends. He doesn’t get it; he thinks I’m just making it up, that all I need to do is take an interest in his life, and everything will be fine. Of course, I show interest when he’s around. I talk about the things he wants to discuss, and he doesn’t realize that there’s a whole part of me—the largest part—that just doesn’t connect with him at all. I pretend when I’m with him. I’m not being myself, and if we had to live together with daily interaction, I’d have to keep pretending for the rest of my life. He wants me to look at his face and smile when he smiles and frown when he frowns. He can’t see that I’m an individual just as much as he is.
I have social accomplishments. I dress well, I'm spectacular, I would be an ideal hostess in a politician's household—and that's why he likes me.
I have social skills. I dress nicely, I'm impressive, and I would be the perfect hostess in a politician's home—and that's why he likes me.
Anyway, I suddenly saw with awful distinctness that if I kept on I'd be in a few years where Helen Brooks is. She's a far better model of married life for me to contemplate just this moment than you, dear Judy. I think that such a spectacle as you and Jervis is a menace to society. You look so happy and peaceful and companionable that you induce a defenseless onlooker to rush off and snap up the first man she meets—and he's always the wrong man.
Anyway, I suddenly realized very clearly that if I continued down this path, in a few years, I'd be in the same situation as Helen Brooks. Right now, she's a better example of married life for me to consider than you, dear Judy. Honestly, the way you and Jervis are together feels like a threat to society. You seem so happy, peaceful, and close that you make a vulnerable observer want to run off and grab the first guy she meets—and he's always the wrong one.
Anyway, Gordon and I have quarreled definitely and finally. I should rather have ended without a quarrel, but considering his temperament,—and mine, too, I must confess,—we had to go off in a big smoky explosion. He came yesterday afternoon, after I'd written him not to come, and we went walking over Knowltop. For three and a half hours we paced back and forth over that windy moor and discussed ourselves to the bottommost recesses of our beings. No one can ever say the break came through misunderstanding each other!
Anyway, Gordon and I have definitely and finally had our fight. I would have preferred to end things without a quarrel, but considering his temperament—and mine too, I have to admit—we had to go out with a big explosive argument. He showed up yesterday afternoon, even after I told him not to come, and we went for a walk over Knowltop. For three and a half hours, we paced back and forth over that windy moor and dug deep into our feelings. No one can ever say the breakup happened because we misunderstood each other!
It ended by Gordon's going, never to return. As I stood there at the end and watched him drop out of sight over the brow of the hill, and realized that I was free and alone and my own master well, Judy, such a sense of joyous relief, of freedom, swept over me! I can't tell you; I don't believe any happily married person could ever realize how wonderfully, beautifully ALONE I felt. I wanted to throw my arms out and embrace the whole waiting world that belonged suddenly to me. Oh, it is such a relief to have it settled! I faced the truth the night of the fire when I saw the old John Grier go, and realized that a new John Grier would be built in its place and that I wouldn't be here to do it. A horrible jealousy clutched at my heart. I couldn't give it up, and during those agonizing moments while I thought we had lost our doctor, I realized what his life meant, and how much more significant than Gordon's. And I knew then that I couldn't desert him. I had to go on and carry out all of the plans we made together.
It ended with Gordon leaving, never to return. As I stood there and watched him disappear over the hill, I realized that I was free, alone, and my own master. Well, Judy, I can't describe the overwhelming sense of joyful relief and freedom that washed over me! I don't think any happily married person could truly understand how wonderfully and beautifully ALONE I felt. I wanted to reach out and embrace the entire world that suddenly belonged to me. Oh, it’s such a relief to have it settled! I faced the truth the night of the fire when I saw the old John Grier go and understood that a new John Grier would be built in its place, and I wouldn’t be around to see it. A terrible jealousy gripped my heart. I couldn't let go, and during those agonizing moments when I thought we had lost our doctor, I realized how much his life meant and how it was so much more significant than Gordon’s. And I knew then that I couldn't abandon him. I had to continue and fulfill all the plans we made together.
I don't seem to be telling you anything but a mess of words, I am so full of such a mess of crowding emotions. I want to talk and talk and talk myself into coherence. But, anyway, I stood alone in the winter twilight, and I took a deep breath of clear cold air, and I felt beautifully, wonderfully, electrically free.
I feel like I'm just rambling because I'm overwhelmed with so many emotions. I want to keep talking until I can express myself clearly. But still, I found myself standing alone in the winter twilight, took a deep breath of the crisp, cold air, and felt beautifully, wonderfully, and vibrantly free.
And then I ran and leaped and skipped down the hill and across the pastures toward our iron confines, and I sang to myself. Oh, it was a scandalous proceeding, when, according to all precedent, I should have gone trailing home with a broken wing. I never gave one thought to poor Gordon, who was carrying a broken, bruised, betrayed heart to the railroad station.
And then I ran, leaped, and skipped down the hill and across the fields toward our metal boundaries, and I sang to myself. Oh, it was quite a risky move when, by all accounts, I should have been dragging myself home with a broken spirit. I didn’t spare a thought for poor Gordon, who was heading to the train station with a broken, bruised, and shattered heart.
As I entered the house I was greeted by the joyous clatter of the children trooping to their supper. They were suddenly MINE, and lately, as my doom became more and more imminent, they had seemed fading away into little strangers. I seized the three nearest and hugged them hard. I have suddenly found such new life and exuberance, I feel as though I had been released from prison and were free. I feel,—oh, I'll stop,—I just want you to know the truth. Don't show Jervis this letter, but tell him what's in it in a decently subdued and mournful fashion.
As I walked into the house, I was welcomed by the joyful noise of the kids heading to dinner. In that moment, they were completely MINE, and recently, as my fate felt more and more certain, they had started to feel like strangers. I grabbed the three closest ones and hugged them tightly. I suddenly felt such a burst of life and energy, it was like I had just been set free from prison. I feel—oh, I'll stop— I just need you to know the truth. Don’t show Jervis this letter, but let him know what's in it in a respectful, somber way.
It's midnight now, and I'm going to try to go to sleep. It's wonderful not to be going to marry some one you don't want to marry. I'm glad of all these children's needs, I'm glad of Helen Brooks, and, yes, of the fire, and everything that has made me see clearly. There's never been a divorce in my family, and they would have hated it.
It's midnight now, and I'm going to try to get some sleep. It's great not to be marrying someone I don't want to. I'm grateful for all these kids' needs, I'm grateful for Helen Brooks, and, yes, for the fire, and everything that has helped me see things clearly. There has never been a divorce in my family, and they would have despised it.
I know I'm horribly egotistical and selfish; I ought to be thinking of poor Gordon's broken heart. But really it would just be a pose if I pretended to be very sorrowful. He'll find some one else with just as conspicuous hair as mine, who will make just as effective a hostess, and who won't be bothered by any of these damned modern ideas about public service and woman's mission and all the rest of the tomfoolery the modern generation of women is addicted to. (I paraphrase, and soften our young man's heartbroken utterances.)
I know I'm really egotistical and selfish; I should be thinking about poor Gordon's broken heart. But honestly, it would just be an act if I pretended to be really sad. He'll find someone else with just as noticeable hair as mine, who will make just as great a hostess, and who won't be weighed down by any of these annoying modern ideas about public service and women's roles and all the other nonsense that today's women are obsessed with. (I’m paraphrasing and softening our young man’s heartbroken words.)
Good-by, dear people. How I wish I could stand with you on your beach and look across the blue, blue sea! I salute the Spanish main.
Goodbye, everyone. I really wish I could be with you on your beach and look out at the blue, blue ocean! I salute the Spanish main.
ADDIO! SALLIE.
Goodbye! Sallie.
January 27.
January 27th.
Dear Dr. MacRae:
Dear Dr. MacRae:
I wonder if this note will be so fortunate as to find you awake? Perhaps you are not aware that I have called four times to offer thanks and consolation in my best bed-side manner? I am touched by the news that Mrs. McGurk's time is entirely occupied in taking in flowers and jelly and chicken broth, donated by the adoring ladies of the parish to the ungracious hero in a plaster cast. I know that you find a cap of homespun more comfortable than a halo, but I really do think that you might have regarded me in a different light from the hysterical ladies in question. You and I used to be friends (intermittently), and though there are one or two details in our past intercourse that might better be expunged, still I don't see why we should let them upset our entire relationship. Can't we be sensible and expunge them?
I wonder if this note will be lucky enough to find you awake? Maybe you don’t realize that I’ve called four times to offer my thanks and support in my best bedside manner? I’m really moved by the news that Mrs. McGurk’s time is fully taken up with flowers, jelly, and chicken broth sent by the loving ladies of the parish to the ungrateful hero in a plaster cast. I know you find a simple cap more comfortable than a halo, but I honestly think you could have looked at me differently than those overly dramatic ladies. We used to be friends (off and on), and while there are a couple of things in our history that might be better left behind, I don’t see why we should let them ruin our whole relationship. Can’t we be logical and move past them?
The fire has brought out such a lot of unexpected kindliness and charity, I wish it might bring out a little from you. You see, Sandy, I know you well. You may pose to the world as being gruff and curt and ungracious and scientific and inhuman and S C O T C H, but you can't fool me. My newly trained psychological eye has been upon you for ten months, and I have applied the Binet test. You are really kind and sympathetic and wise and forgiving and big, so please be at home the next time I come to see you, and we will perform a surgical operation upon Time and amputate five months.
The fire has revealed a lot of unexpected kindness and generosity; I hope it might bring out a bit from you, too. You see, Sandy, I know you well. You may act tough and short-tempered and unkind and all scientific and inhuman and S C O T C H, but you can't trick me. My newly honed psychological skills have been studying you for ten months, and I've applied the Binet test. Deep down, you are kind, understanding, wise, forgiving, and generous, so please be home the next time I come to visit, and we'll perform a surgery on Time and cut off five months.
Do you remember the Sunday afternoon we ran away, and what a nice time we had? It is now the day after that.
Do you remember the Sunday afternoon we escaped, and how much fun we had? It's now the day after that.
SALLIE McBRIDE.
Sallie McBride.
P.S. If I condescend to call upon you again, please condescend to see me, for I assure you I won't try more than once! Also, I assure you that I won't drip tears on your counterpane or try to kiss your hand, as I hear one admiring lady did.
P.S. If I decide to visit you again, please do see me, because I promise I won't ask more than once! Also, I promise I won't cry on your bedspread or try to kiss your hand, like I heard one impressed lady did.
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Thursday.
Thursday.
Dear Enemy:
Dear Enemy:
You see, I'm feeling very friendly toward you this moment. When I call you "MacRae" I don't like you, and when I call you "Enemy" I do.
You see, I'm feeling pretty friendly toward you right now. When I call you "MacRae," I don't like you, but when I call you "Enemy," I do.
Sadie Kate delivered your note (as an afterthought). And it's a very creditable production for a left-handed man; I thought at first glance it was from Punch.
Sadie Kate passed along your note (almost as an afterthought). It's quite a good piece of writing for a left-handed guy; I initially thought it was from Punch.
You may expect me tomorrow at four, and mind you're awake! I'm glad that you think we're friends. Really, I feel that I've got back something quite precious which I had carelessly mislaid.
You can expect me tomorrow at four, and make sure you’re awake! I’m happy that you think we’re friends. Honestly, I feel like I’ve gotten back something really valuable that I had lost track of.
S. McB.
S. McB.
P.S. Java caught cold the night of the fire and he has the toothache. He sits and holds his cheek like a poor little kiddie.
P.S. Java caught a cold the night of the fire and he has a toothache. He sits there holding his cheek like a poor little kid.
Thursday, January 29.
Thursday, January 29th.
Dear Judy:
Dear Judy,
Those must have been ten terribly incoherent pages I dashed off to you last week. Did you respect my command to destroy that letter? I should not care to have it appear in my collected correspondence. I know that my state of mind is disgraceful, shocking, scandalous, but one really can't help the way one feels. It is usually considered a pleasant sensation to be engaged, but, oh, it is nothing compared with the wonderful untrammeled, joyous, free sensation of being unengaged! I have had a terribly unstable feeling these last few months, and now at last I am settled. No one ever looked forward to spinsterhood more thankfully than I.
Those must have been ten really jumbled pages I sent you last week. Did you follow my request to get rid of that letter? I really wouldn't want it to show up in my collected correspondence. I know my state of mind is disgraceful, shocking, scandalous, but you really can't control how you feel. It's usually seen as a nice feeling to be engaged, but, oh, it doesn't compare to the amazing, unrestrained, joyful feeling of being single! I’ve felt pretty unstable these last few months, and now I'm finally settled. No one has looked forward to being single more gratefully than I have.
Our fire, I have come to believe, was providential. It was sent from heaven to clear the way for a new John Grier. We are already deep in plans for cottages. I favor gray stucco, Betsy leans to brick, and Percy, half-timber. I don't know what our poor doctor would prefer; olive green with a mansard roof appears to be his taste.
Our fire, I've come to believe, was meant to happen. It was sent from above to make room for a new John Grier. We're already deep into plans for cottages. I’m leaning towards gray stucco, Betsy prefers brick, and Percy likes half-timber. I’m not sure what our poor doctor would want; olive green with a mansard roof seems to be his style.
With ten different kitchens to practice in, won't our children learn how to cook! I am already looking about for ten loving house mothers to put in charge. I think, in fact, I'll search for eleven, in order to have one for Sandy. He's as pathetically in need of a little mothering as any of the chicks.
With ten different kitchens to use, our kids will really learn how to cook! I’m already on the lookout for ten caring house mothers to oversee things. Actually, I think I’ll look for eleven, so we have one for Sandy too. He needs a little mothering just as much as any of the kids.
It must be pretty dispiriting to come home every night to the ministrations of Mrs. McGur-rk.
It must be pretty discouraging to come home every night to the care of Mrs. McGurk.
How I do not like that woman! She has with complacent firmness told me four different times that the dochther was ashleep and not wantin' to be disturbed. I haven't set eyes on him yet, and I have just about finished being polite. However, I waive judgment until tomorrow at four, when I am to pay a short, unexciting call of half an hour. He made the appointment himself, and if she tells me again that he is ashleep, I shall give her a gentle push and tip her over (she's very fat and unstable) and, planting a foot firmly on her stomach, pursue my way tranquilly in and up. Luellen, formerly chauffeur, chambermaid, and gardener, is now also trained nurse. I am eager to see how he looks in a white cap and apron.
How I really dislike that woman! She has smugly told me four different times that the doctor is asleep and doesn’t want to be disturbed. I haven't seen him yet, and I'm almost done being polite. However, I’ll hold off on making a judgment until tomorrow at four, when I’m supposed to make a quick, boring visit that lasts half an hour. He set the appointment himself, and if she tells me again that he’s asleep, I might just give her a gentle push to tip her over (she's quite heavy and wobbly) and, with a firm foot on her stomach, calmly make my way inside. Luellen, who used to be a chauffeur, maid, and gardener, is now also a trained nurse. I can't wait to see how he looks in a white cap and apron.
The mail has just come, with a letter from Mrs. Bretland, telling how happy they are to have the children. She inclosed their first photograph—all packed in a governess cart, with Clifford proudly holding the reins, and a groom at the pony's head. How is that for three late inmates of the John Grier Home?
The mail just arrived, bringing a letter from Mrs. Bretland, saying how glad they are to have the kids. She included their first photo—all packed into a governess cart, with Clifford proudly holding the reins, and a groom at the pony's head. How's that for three former residents of the John Grier Home?
It's all very inspiring when I think of their futures, but a trifle sad when I remember their poor father, and how he worked himself to death for those three chicks who are going to forget him. The Bretlands will do their best to accomplish that. They are jealous of any outside influence and want to make the babies wholly theirs. After all, I think the natural way is best—for each family to produce its own children, and keep them.
It's really inspiring to think about their futures, but a bit sad when I remember their poor dad, who worked himself to death for those three kids who are going to forget him. The Bretlands will do everything they can to make that happen. They’re jealous of any outside influence and want the kids to be completely theirs. After all, I believe the natural way is best—for each family to have its own children and raise them.
Friday.
Friday.
I saw the doctor today. He's a pathetic sight, consisting mostly of bandages. Somehow or other we got our misunderstandings all made up. Isn't it dreadful the way two human beings, both endowed with fair powers of speech, can manage to convey nothing of their psychological processes to each other?
I saw the doctor today. He's a sad sight, mostly covered in bandages. Somehow we cleared up our misunderstandings. Isn't it awful how two people, both capable of speaking well, can fail to communicate their thoughts and feelings to each other?
I haven't understood his mental attitude from the first, and he even yet doesn't understand mine. This grim reticence that we Northern people struggle so hard to maintain! I don't know after all but that the excitable Southern safety valve method is the best.
I haven't understood his mindset from the beginning, and he still doesn't get mine. This serious silence that we Northerners work so hard to keep! I'm starting to think that the emotional Southern approach might actually be better.
But, Judy, such a dreadful thing—do you remember last year when he visited that psychopathic institution, and stayed ten days, and I made such a silly fuss about it? Oh, my dear, the impossible things I do! He went to attend his wife's funeral. She died there in the institution. Mrs. McGurk knew it all the time, and might have added it to the rest of her news, but she didn't.
But, Judy, what a terrible thing—do you remember last year when he visited that mental hospital and stayed for ten days, and I made such a big deal out of it? Oh, my dear, the ridiculous things I do! He went to attend his wife's funeral. She died there in the hospital. Mrs. McGurk knew all about it and could have mentioned it along with everything else, but she didn’t.
He told me all about her, very sweetly. The poor man for years and years has undergone a terrible strain, and I fancy her death is a blessed relief. He confesses that he knew at the time of his marriage that he ought not to marry her, he knew all about her nervous instability; but he thought, being a doctor, that he could overcome it, and she was beautiful! He gave up his city practice and came to the country on her account. And then after the little girl's birth she went all to pieces, and he had to "put her away," to use Mrs. McGurk's phrase. The child is six now, a sweet, lovely little thing to look at, but, I judge from what he said, quite abnormal. He has a trained nurse with her always. Just think of all that tragedy looming over our poor patient good doctor, for he is patient, despite being the most impatient man that ever lived!
He told me everything about her, very kindly. The poor guy has been under a huge amount of stress for years, and I think her death is a welcome relief. He admits that he knew he shouldn’t have married her when they got hitched; he was fully aware of her nervous issues. But being a doctor, he thought he could handle it, and she was gorgeous! He left his city practice and moved to the countryside for her. Then after their little girl was born, she completely broke down, and he had to “put her away,” as Mrs. McGurk puts it. The child is six now, a sweet, adorable little thing, but from what he said, she seems quite unusual. He always has a trained nurse with her. Just think of all that tragedy hanging over our poor, good doctor—he's patient, even though he’s the most impatient man you could ever meet!
Thank Jervis for his letter. He's a dear man, and I'm glad to see him getting his deserts. What fun we are going to have when you get back to Shadywell, and we lay our plans for a new John Grier! I feel as though I had spent this past year learning, and am now just ready to begin. We'll turn this into the nicest orphan asylum that ever lived. I'm so absurdly happy at the prospect that I start in the morning with a spring, and go about my various businesses singing inside.
Thank Jervis for his letter. He's a great guy, and I'm really glad to see him getting what he deserves. We're going to have so much fun when you get back to Shadywell, and we make our plans for a new John Grier! I feel like I've spent the last year learning and I'm finally ready to get started. We're going to turn this into the best orphanage ever. I'm so ridiculously happy at the thought of it that I wake up in the morning feeling energized, and I go about my day humming inside.
The John Grier Home sends its blessing to the two best friends it ever had!
The John Grier Home sends its best wishes to the two greatest friends it has ever had!
ADDIO! SALLIE. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
ADDIO! SALLIE. THE JOHN GRIER HOME,
Saturday at half-past six in the morning!
Saturday at 6:30 in the morning!
My dearest Enemy:
My beloved Enemy:
"Some day soon something nice is going to happen."
"One day soon, something good is going to happen."
Weren't you surprised when you woke up this morning and remembered the truth? I was! I couldn't think for about two minutes what made me so happy.
Weren't you surprised when you woke up this morning and remembered the truth? I was! I couldn't figure out for about two minutes what made me so happy.
It's not light yet, but I'm wide awake and excited and having to write to you. I shall despatch this note by the first to-be-trusted little orphan who appears, and it will go up on your breakfast tray along with your oatmeal.
It's not light out yet, but I'm wide awake and excited to write to you. I'll send this note with the first trustworthy little orphan who shows up, and it will be placed on your breakfast tray along with your oatmeal.
I shall follow VERY PROMPTLY at four o'clock this afternoon. Do you think Mrs. McGurk will ever countenance the scandal if I stay two hours, and no orphan for a chaperon?
I will arrive promptly at four o'clock this afternoon. Do you think Mrs. McGurk will ever tolerate the scandal if I stay for two hours without an orphan as a chaperon?
It was in all good faith, Sandy, that I promised not to kiss your hand or drip tears on the counterpane, but I'm afraid I did both—or worse! Positively, I didn't suspect how much I cared for you till I crossed the threshold and saw you propped up against the pillows, all covered with bandages, and your hair singed off. You are a sight! If I love you now, when fully one third of you is plaster of Paris and surgical dressing, you can imagine how I'm going to love you when it's all you!
It was with all good intentions, Sandy, that I promised not to kiss your hand or cry on the bedspread, but I'm afraid I did both—or even more! Honestly, I had no idea how much I cared for you until I walked in and saw you leaning against the pillows, all wrapped in bandages, with your hair singed off. You look so different! If I love you now, with a third of you in plaster and bandages, just imagine how much I'm going to love you when you’re back to yourself!
But my dear, dear Robin, what a foolish man you are! How should I ever have dreamed all those months that you were caring for me when you acted so abominably S C O T C H? With most men, behavior like yours would not be considered a mark of affection. I wish you had just given me a glimmering of an idea of the truth, and maybe you would have saved us both a few heartaches.
But my dear, dear Robin, what a foolish man you are! How could I have ever imagined all those months that you cared for me when you acted so terribly S C O T C H? With most guys, your behavior wouldn't be seen as a sign of affection. I wish you had just given me a hint of the truth, and maybe you would have saved us both some heartache.
But we mustn't be looking back; we must look forward and be grateful. The two happiest things in life are going to be ours, a FRIENDLY marriage and work that we love.
But we shouldn’t dwell on the past; we should look ahead and be thankful. The two happiest things in life will be ours: a loving marriage and work that we enjoy.
Yesterday, after leaving you, I walked back to the asylum sort of dazed. I wanted to get by myself and THINK, but instead of being by myself, I had to have Betsy and Percy and Mrs. Livermore for dinner (already invited) and then go down and talk to the children. Friday night-social evening. They had a lot of new records for the victrola, given by Mrs. Livermore, and I had to sit politely and listen to them. And, my dear—you'll think this funny—the last thing they played was "John Anderson, my jo John," and suddenly I found myself crying! I had to snatch up the nearest orphan and hug her hard, with my head buried in her shoulder, to keep them all from seeing.
Yesterday, after I left you, I walked back to the asylum feeling a bit out of it. I wanted some alone time to THINK, but instead of being by myself, I had to have Betsy, Percy, and Mrs. Livermore over for dinner (they were already invited) and then go down and talk to the kids. It was Friday night—social evening. They had a bunch of new records for the Victrola, given by Mrs. Livermore, and I had to sit politely and listen to them. And, my dear—you'll find this funny—the last song they played was "John Anderson, my jo John," and suddenly I started crying! I had to grab the nearest orphan and hug her tightly, with my head buried in her shoulder, to keep everyone from seeing.
John Anderson, my jo John,
We clamb the hill thegither,
And monie a canty day, John,
We've had wi' ane anither;
Now we maun totter down, John,
But hand in hand we'll go,
And sleep thegither at the foot,
John Anderson, my jo.
John Anderson, my dear John,
We climbed the hill together,
And many a cheerful day, John,
We've had with one another;
Now we must totter down, John,
But hand in hand we'll go,
And sleep together at the bottom,
John Anderson, my dear.
I wonder, when we are old and bent and tottery, can you and I look back, with no regrets, on monie a canty day we've had wi' ane anither? It's nice to look forward to, isn't it—a life of work and play and little daily adventures side by side with somebody you love? I'm not afraid of the future any more. I don't mind growing old with you, Sandy. "Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in."
I wonder, when we’re old and frail, can you and I look back, with no regrets, on all the happy days we’ve had together? It’s comforting to look ahead to, isn’t it—a life of work and play and little daily adventures side by side with someone you love? I’m not afraid of the future anymore. I don’t mind growing old with you, Sandy. "Time is just the stream I go fishing in."
The reason I've grown to love these orphans is because they need me so, and that's the reason—at least one of the reasons—I've grown to love you. You're a pathetic figure of a man, my dear, and since you won't make yourself comfortable, you must be MADE comfortable.
The reason I've come to love these orphans is that they need me so much, and that's one of the reasons I've grown to love you too. You're a sad figure, my dear, and since you won't make yourself comfortable, you have to be made comfortable.
We'll build a house on the hillside just beyond the asylum—how does a yellow Italian villa strike you, or preferably a pink one? Anyway, it won't be green. And it won't have a mansard roof. And we'll have a big cheerful living room, all fireplace and windows and view, and no McGURK. Poor old thing! won't she be in a temper and cook you a dreadful dinner when she hears the news! But we won't tell her for a long, long time—or anybody else. It's too scandalous a proceeding right on top of my own broken engagement. I wrote to Judy last night, and with unprecedented self-control I never let fall so much as a hint. I'm growing Scotch mysel'!
We'll build a house on the hillside just past the asylum—how about a yellow Italian villa, or even better, a pink one? Either way, it definitely won't be green. And it won't have a mansard roof. We'll have a big, cheerful living room with a fireplace, lots of windows, and a great view, and no McGURK. Poor thing! She’s going to be so mad and whip up a terrible dinner when she hears the news! But we won’t tell her for a long, long time—or anyone else. It’s too scandalous right after my own broken engagement. I wrote to Judy last night, and with amazing self-control, I didn’t let slip even a hint. I’m turning into such a Scot!
Perhaps I didn't tell you the exact truth, Sandy, when I said I hadn't known how much I cared. I think it came to me the night the John Grier burned. When you were up under that blazing roof, and for the half hour that followed, when we didn't know whether or not you would live, I can't tell you what agonies I went through. It seemed to me, if you did go, that I would never get over it all my life; that somehow to have let the best friend I ever had pass away with a dreadful chasm of misunderstanding between us—well—I couldn't wait for the moment when I should be allowed to see you and talk out all that I have been shutting inside me for five months. And then—you know that you gave strict orders to keep me out; and it hurt me dreadfully. How should I suspect that you really wanted to see me more than any of the others, and that it was just that terrible Scotch moral sense that was holding you back? You are a very good actor, Sandy. But, my dear, if ever in our lives again we have the tiniest little cloud of a misunderstanding, let's promise not to shut it up inside ourselves, but to TALK.
Maybe I didn't tell you the whole truth, Sandy, when I said I had no idea how much I cared. I think I realized it the night the John Grier burned. When you were trapped under that blazing roof, and for the half hour that followed, when we weren’t sure if you would survive, I can’t explain the agony I felt. It seemed to me that if you did go, I would never recover from it; that somehow letting the best friend I ever had leave with such a terrible misunderstanding between us—well—I couldn’t wait for the moment when I could see you and share everything I've been holding inside for five months. And then—you know that you insisted on keeping me away; that hurt me deeply. How could I know that you actually wanted to see me more than anyone else, and that it was just that terrible Scottish moral sense that was holding you back? You’re a really good actor, Sandy. But, my dear, if we ever have even the smallest misunderstanding again, let’s promise not to bottle it up but to TALK about it.
Last night, after they all got off,—early, I am pleased to say, since the chicks no longer live at home,—I came upstairs and finished my letter to Judy, and then I looked at the telephone and struggled with temptation. I wanted to call up 505 and say good night to you. But I didn't dare. I'm still quite respectably bashful! So, as the next best thing to talking with you, I got out Burns and read him for an hour. I dropped asleep with all those Scotch love songs running in my head, and here I am at daybreak writing them to you.
Last night, after everyone left—early, I’m happy to say, since the kids don’t live at home anymore—I went upstairs and finished my letter to Judy, and then I looked at the phone and battled with temptation. I wanted to call 505 and say goodnight to you. But I didn’t have the courage. I’m still pretty shy! So, as the next best thing to talking to you, I took out Burns and read him for an hour. I fell asleep with all those Scottish love songs playing in my head, and here I am at dawn writing them to you.
Good-by, Robin lad, I lo'e you weel.
Goodbye, Robin, my friend, I really care about you.
SALLIE.
Sallie.
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