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The House of Souls

By Arthur Machen

Short Story Index Reprint Series

Short Story Index Reprint Series

AYER COMPANY PUBLISHERS, INC.
NORTH STRATFORD, NH 03590

AYER COMPANY PUBLISHERS, INC.
NORTH STRATFORD, NH 03590


First Published 1922

First published in 1922

Reprint Edition, 1999
AYER Company Publishers, Inc.
Lower Mill Road
North Stratford, NH 03590

Reprint Edition, 1999
AYER Company Publishers, Inc.
Lower Mill Road
North Stratford, NH 03590

INTERNATIONAL STANDARD BOOK NUMBER:
0-8369-3806-2

ISBN:
0-8369-3806-2

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOG CARD NUMBER:
72-152947

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOG CARD NUMBER:
72-152947

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA


Contents

A Fragment of Life1
The White People111
The Great God Pan167
The Inmost Light245

Introduction

It was somewhere, I think, towards the autumn of the year 1889 that the thought occurred to me that I might perhaps try to write a little in the modern way. For, hitherto, I had been, as it were, wearing costume in literature. The rich, figured English of the earlier part of the seventeenth century had always had a peculiar attraction for me. I accustomed myself to write in it, to think in it; I kept a diary in that manner, and half-unconsciously dressed up my every day thoughts and common experiences in the habit of the Cavalier or of the Caroline Divine. Thus, when in 1884 I got a commission to translate the Heptameron, I wrote quite naturally in the language of my favourite period, and, as some critics declare, made my English version somewhat more antique and stiff than the original. And so "The Anatomy of Tobacco" was an exercise in the antique of a different kind; and "The Chronicle of Clemendy" was a volume of tales that tried their hardest to be mediæval; and the translation of the "Moyen de Parvenir" was still a thing in the ancient mode.

It was sometime around autumn in 1889 when I had the idea that I might try writing in a more modern style. Until then, I had been, in a sense, dressing up in literary costumes. The rich, elaborate English of the early seventeenth century has always fascinated me. I got used to writing and thinking in that style; I kept a diary that way and, almost without realizing it, I turned my everyday thoughts and common experiences into the language of the Cavalier or the Caroline Divine. So, when I received a commission in 1884 to translate the Heptameron, I naturally wrote in the language of my favorite period, and some critics say I made my English version a bit more archaic and stiff than the original. Therefore, "The Anatomy of Tobacco" was a different kind of exercise in antiquity; "The Chronicle of Clemendy" was a collection of stories that tried very hard to be medieval; and my translation of the "Moyen de Parvenir" was still in that old style.

It seemed, in fine, to be settled that in literature I was to be a hanger on of the past ages; and I don't quite know how I managed to get away from them. I had finished translating "Casanova"—more modern, but not thoroughly up to date—and I had nothing[viii] particular on hand, and, somehow or other, it struck me that I might try a little writing for the papers. I began with a "turnover" as it was called, for the old vanished Globe, a harmless little article on old English proverbs; and I shall never forget my pride and delight when one day, being at Dover, with a fresh autumn wind blowing from the sea, I bought a chance copy of the paper and saw my essay on the front page. Naturally, I was encouraged to persevere, and I wrote more turnovers for the Globe and then tried the St. James's Gazette and found that they paid two pounds instead of the guinea of the Globe, and again, naturally enough, devoted most of my attention to the St. James's Gazette. From the essay or literary paper, I somehow got into the habit of the short story, and did a good many of these, still for the St. James's, till in the autumn of 1890, I wrote a tale called "The Double Return." Well, Oscar Wilde asked: "Are you the author of that story that fluttered the dovecotes? I thought it was very good." But: it did flutter the dovecotes, and the St. James's Gazette and I parted.

It seemed, in the end, that in literature I was going to be a relic of past ages, and I’m not really sure how I managed to break free from that. I had just finished translating "Casanova"—more modern but not completely up to date—and I didn’t have anything specific to work on. Somehow, it occurred to me to try writing a bit for the papers. I started with a "turnover," as they called it, for the now-defunct Globe, a light piece on old English proverbs. I’ll never forget my pride and excitement when, one day in Dover, with a fresh autumn breeze coming off the sea, I bought a random copy of the paper and saw my essay on the front page. Naturally, I was motivated to keep going, so I wrote more turnovers for the Globe and then tried the St. James's Gazette, where I found they paid two pounds instead of the guinea the Globe offered. So, naturally, I focused most of my efforts on the St. James's Gazette. From essays and literary pieces, I gradually got into writing short stories, contributing many to the St. James's, until in the autumn of 1890, I wrote a story called "The Double Return." Well, Oscar Wilde asked, "Are you the author of that story that stirred things up?" He said he thought it was very good. And indeed, it stirred things up, and I ended up parting ways with the St. James's Gazette.

But I still wrote short stories, now chiefly for what were called "society" papers, which have become extinct. And one of these appeared in a paper, the name of which I have long forgotten. I had called the tale "Resurrectio Mortuorum," and the editor had very sensibly rendered the title into "The Resurrection of the Dead."

But I still wrote short stories, mainly for what were known as "society" papers, which are now extinct. One of these stories was published in a paper whose name I've long forgotten. I had titled the story "Resurrectio Mortuorum," and the editor wisely changed the title to "The Resurrection of the Dead."

I do not clearly remember how the story began. I am inclined to think something in this way:

I don't remember exactly how the story started. I tend to think it went something like this:

"Old Mr. Llewellyn, the Welsh antiquary, threw his copy of the morning paper on the floor and banged the breakfast-table, exclaiming: 'Good God! Here's[ix] the last of the Caradocs of the Garth, has been married in a Baptist Chapel by a dissenting preacher; somewhere in Peckham.'" Or, did I take up the tale a few years after this happy event and shew the perfectly cheerful contented young commercial clerk running somewhat too fast to catch the bus one morning, and feeling dazed all day long over the office work, and going home in a sort of dimness, and then at his very doorstep, recovering as it were, his ancestral consciousness. I think it was the sight of his wife and the tones of her voice that suddenly announced to him with the sound of a trumpet that he had nothing to do with this woman with the Cockney accent, or the pastor who was coming to supper, or the red brick villa, or Peckham or the City of London. Though the old place on the banks of the Usk had been sold fifty years before, still, he was Caradoc of the Garth. I forget how I ended the story: but here was one of the sources of "A Fragment of Life."

"Old Mr. Llewellyn, the Welsh historian, tossed his morning newspaper onto the floor and slammed the breakfast table, exclaiming: 'Good God! The last of the Caradocs of the Garth has gotten married in a Baptist chapel by a dissenting preacher somewhere in Peckham.'" Or, did I pick up the story a few years after this happy event and show the perfectly cheerful and content young office clerk rushing a bit too fast to catch the bus one morning, feeling dazed all day at work, and returning home in a sort of haze, only to suddenly regain his ancestral awareness right at his doorstep? I think it was the sight of his wife and the sound of her voice that suddenly made it clear to him—like the blast of a trumpet—that he had nothing to do with this woman who had a Cockney accent, or the pastor who was coming for dinner, or the red brick villa, or Peckham, or the City of London. Even though the old place by the banks of the Usk had been sold fifty years earlier, he was still Caradoc of the Garth. I can't remember how I wrapped up the story, but here was one of the sources of "A Fragment of Life."

And somehow, though the tale was written and printed and paid for; it stayed with me as a tale half told in the years from 1890 to 1899. I was in love with the notion: this contrast between the raw London suburb and its mean limited life and its daily journeys to the City; its utter banality and lack of significance; between all this and the old, grey mullioned house under the forest near the river, the armorial bearings on the Jacobean porch, and noble old traditions: all this captivated me and I thought of my mistold tale at intervals, while I was writing "The Great God Pan," "The Red Hand," "The Three Impostors," "The Hill of Dreams," "The White People," and "Hieroglyphics." It was at the back of my head, I suppose,[x] all the time, and at last in '99 I began to write it all over again from a somewhat different standpoint.

Somehow, even though the story was written, printed, and paid for, it lingered with me as a half-told tale from 1890 to 1899. I was enamored with the idea: this contrast between the rough London suburb with its dull, limited life and its daily trips to the City; its complete banality and insignificance; all of this compared to the old, grey mullioned house in the forest by the river, the coats of arms on the Jacobean porch, and rich traditions: all of it fascinated me, and I thought about my unfinished story from time to time while I was writing "The Great God Pan," "The Red Hand," "The Three Impostors," "The Hill of Dreams," "The White People," and "Hieroglyphics." I guess it was in the back of my mind the whole time, and finally in '99, I started rewriting it from a slightly different perspective.

The fact was that one grey Sunday afternoon in the March of that year, I went for a long walk with a friend. I was living in Gray's Inn in those days, and we stravaged up Gray's Inn Road on one of those queer, unscientific explorations of the odd corners of London in which I have always delighted. I don't think that there was any definite scheme laid down; but we resisted manifold temptations. For on the right of Gray's Inn Road is one of the oddest quarters of London—to those, that is, with the unsealed eyes. Here are streets of 1800-1820 that go down into a valley—Flora in "Little Dorrit" lived in one of them—and then crossing King's Cross Road climb very steeply up to heights which always suggest to me that I am in the hinder and poorer quarter of some big seaside place, and that there is a fine view of the sea from the attic windows. This place was once called Spa Fields, and has very properly an old meeting house of the Countess of Huntingdon's Connection as one of its attractions. It is one of the parts of London which would attract me if I wished to hide; not to escape arrest, perhaps, but rather to escape the possibility of ever meeting anybody who had ever seen me before.

The truth is, one gray Sunday afternoon in March of that year, I took a long walk with a friend. I was living in Gray's Inn back then, and we wandered up Gray's Inn Road on one of those quirky, unscientific explorations of London’s hidden spots that I’ve always loved. There wasn't any specific plan, but we resisted many temptations. On the right side of Gray's Inn Road is one of the oddest areas of London—at least for those with open eyes. Here, there are streets from 1800-1820 that slope down into a valley—Flora from "Little Dorrit" lived on one—and then, crossing King's Cross Road, they steeply rise to heights that make me feel like I'm in the less affluent part of some large seaside town, where the attic windows offer a great view of the sea. This area used to be called Spa Fields and has an old meeting house of the Countess of Huntingdon's Connection as one of its highlights. It’s one of those parts of London I would find appealing if I wanted to disappear; not to avoid arrest, maybe, but to escape the chance of running into anyone who had ever known me before.

But: my friend and I resisted it all. We strolled along to the parting of many ways at King's Cross Station, and struck boldly up Pentonville. Again: on our left was Barnsbury, which is like Africa. In Barnsbury semper aliquid novi, but our course was laid for us by some occult influence, and we came to Islington and chose the right hand side of the way. So far, we were tolerably in the region of the known,[xi] since every year there is the great Cattle Show at Islington, and many men go there. But, trending to the right, we got into Canonbury, of which there are only Travellers' Tales. Now and then, perhaps, as one sits about the winter fire, while the storm howls without and the snow falls fast, the silent man in the corner has told how he had a great aunt who lived in Canonbury in 1860; so in the fourteenth century you might meet men who had talked with those who had been in Cathay and had seen the splendours of the Grand Cham. Such is Canonbury; I hardly dare speak of its dim squares, of the deep, leafy back-gardens behind the houses, running down into obscure alleyways with discreet, mysterious postern doors: as I say, "Travellers' Tales"; things not much credited.

But my friend and I pushed back against it all. We walked to the fork in the road at King's Cross Station and boldly headed up Pentonville. On our left was Barnsbury, which feels like Africa. In Barnsbury, there’s always something new, but some mysterious force guided us, and we ended up in Islington, choosing the right side of the street. Up to this point, we knew where we were, since every year there’s a big Cattle Show in Islington, and many people attend. But as we veered right, we entered Canonbury, a place known only through stories from travelers. Occasionally, as you sit by the fire during winter, with the storm raging outside and snow falling heavily, the quiet guy in the corner might mention that he had a great aunt who lived in Canonbury in 1860; just as in the fourteenth century, you might meet people who spoke with those who had been to Cathay and witnessed the wonders of the Grand Cham. Such is Canonbury; I hardly dare mention its dim squares or the lush, leafy back gardens behind the houses, leading into hidden alleyways with discreet, mysterious side doors: as I said, "Traveler's Tales"; things that aren't widely believed.

But, he who adventures in London has a foretaste of infinity. There is a region beyond Ultima Thule. I know not how it was, but on this famous Sunday afternoon, my friend and I, passing through Canonbury came into something called the Balls Pond Road—Mr. Perch, the messenger of Dombey & Son, lived somewhere in this region—and so I think by Dalston down into Hackney where caravans, or trams, or, as I think you say in America, trolley cars set out at stated intervals to the limits of the western world.

But anyone who ventures out in London gets a taste of infinity. There’s a place beyond Ultima Thule. I’m not sure how it happened, but on that famous Sunday afternoon, my friend and I, while passing through Canonbury, stumbled upon something called Balls Pond Road—Mr. Perch, the messenger from Dombey & Son, lived somewhere around here—and then I think we went down through Dalston into Hackney where caravans, or trams, or as I believe you say in America, trolley cars, leave at regular intervals for the farthest reaches of the western world.

But in the course of that walk which had become an exploration of the unknown, I had seen two common things which had made a profound impression upon me. One of these things was a street, the other a small family party. The street was somewhere in that vague, uncharted, Balls Pond-Dalston region. It was a long street and a grey street. Each house was exactly like every other house. Each house had a basement,[xii] the sort of story which house-agents have grown to call of late a "lower ground floor." The front windows of these basements were half above the patch of black, soot-smeared soil and coarse grass that named itself a garden, and so, passing along at the hour of four o'clock or four-thirty, I could see that in everyone of these "breakfast rooms"—their technical name—the tea tray and the tea cups were set out in readiness. I received from this trivial and natural circumstance an impression of a dull life, laid out in dreadful lines of patterned uniformity, of a life without adventure of body or soul.

But during that walk, which turned into an exploration of the unknown, I came across two ordinary things that left a deep impression on me. One of these things was a street, and the other was a small family gathering. The street was somewhere in that vague, uncharted Balls Pond-Dalston area. It was a long, gray street, and every house looked just like the others. Each house had a basement, which house agents now like to call a "lower ground floor." The front windows of these basements were half above the patch of black, soot-covered soil and rough grass that called itself a garden. As I walked by around four or four-thirty, I could see that in each of these "breakfast rooms"—their technical name—the tea tray and cups were ready and waiting. From this trivial and everyday scene, I got a sense of a dull life, lined up in grim patterns of uniformity, a life devoid of any adventure, either in body or spirit.

Then, the family party. It got into the tram down Hackney way. There were father, mother and baby; and I should think that they came from a small shop, probably from a small draper's shop. The parents were young people of twenty-five to thirty-five. He wore a black shiny frock coat—an "Albert" in America?—a high hat, little side whiskers and dark moustache and a look of amiable vacuity. His wife was oddly bedizened in black satin, with a wide spreading hat, not ill-looking, simply unmeaning. I fancy that she had at times, not too often, "a temper of her own." And the very small baby sat upon her knee. The party was probably going forth to spend the Sunday evening with relations or friends.

Then, the family outing. They got on the tram heading down Hackney way. There were a dad, a mom, and a baby; and I guess they came from a small shop, probably a little draper's store. The parents looked like they were in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties. He wore a shiny black frock coat—a "Albert" in America?—a top hat, small sideburns, and a dark mustache with an expression of friendly emptiness. His wife was dressed in a flashy black satin outfit, with a wide-brimmed hat, not unattractive, just kind of clueless. I imagine she had, at times, though not too often, "a temper of her own." And the tiny baby sat on her lap. They were probably going out to spend Sunday evening with family or friends.

And yet, I said to myself, these two have partaken together of the great mystery, of the great sacrament of nature, of the source of all that is magical in the wide world. But have they discerned the mysteries? Do they know that they have been in that place which is called Syon and Jerusalem?—I am quoting from an old book and a strange book.[xiii]

And yet, I told myself, these two have shared together in the great mystery, the great sacrament of nature, the source of all that is magical in the wide world. But have they understood the mysteries? Do they realize that they have been in that place called Syon and Jerusalem?—I’m quoting from an old and unusual book.[xiii]

It was thus that, remembering the old story of the "Resurrection of the Dead," I was furnished with the source of "A Fragment of Life." I was writing "Hieroglyphics" at the time, having just finished "The White People"; or rather, having just decided that what now appears in print under that heading was all that would ever be written, that the Great Romance that should have been written—in manifestation of the idea—would never be written at all. And so, when Hieroglyphics was finished, somewhere about May 1899, I set about "A Fragment of Life" and wrote the first chapter with the greatest relish and the utmost ease. And then my own life was dashed into fragments. I ceased to write. I travelled. I saw Syon and Bagdad and other strange places—see "Things Near and Far" for an explanation of this obscure passage—and found myself in the lighted world of floats and battens, entering L. U. E., crossing R and exiting R 3; and doing all sorts of queer things.

So, while recalling the old story of the "Resurrection of the Dead," I discovered the inspiration for "A Fragment of Life." At that time, I was working on "Hieroglyphics," having just concluded "The White People"; or rather, I had just accepted that what is now published under that title was all I would ever write, that the Great Romance that was meant to manifest this idea would never be completed. So, when I finished Hieroglyphics around May 1899, I began "A Fragment of Life" and wrote the first chapter with great enthusiasm and ease. Then my own life shattered into pieces. I stopped writing. I traveled. I visited Syon and Baghdad and other unusual places—see "Things Near and Far" for clarification on this vague reference—and found myself in the illuminated world of sets and production, entering L. U. E., crossing R, and exiting R 3; doing all sorts of strange things.

But still, in spite of all these shocks and changes, the "notion" would not leave me. I went at it again, I suppose in 1904; consumed with a bitter determination to finish what I had begun. Everything now had become difficult. I tried this way and that way and the other way. They all failed and I broke down on every one of them; and I tried and tried again. At last I cobbled up some sort of an end, an utterly bad one, as I realized as I wrote every single line and word of it, and the story appeared, in 1904 or 1905, in Horlick's Magazine under the editorship of my old and dear friend, A. E. Waite.

But still, despite all these shocks and changes, the idea wouldn't leave my mind. I went back to it, I guess in 1904, driven by a fierce determination to finish what I had started. Everything had become difficult. I tried this way, that way, and yet another way. They all failed, and I collapsed with every attempt; but I kept trying. Eventually, I pieced together some sort of ending, a completely terrible one, as I realized with every line and word I wrote, and the story was published in 1904 or 1905 in Horlick's Magazine under the editorship of my old and dear friend, A. E. Waite.

Still; I was not satisfied. That end was intolerable[xiv] and I knew it. Again, I sat down to the work, night after night I wrestled with it. And I remember an odd circumstance which may or may not be of some physiological interest. I was then living in a circumscribed "upper part" of a house in Cosway Street, Marylebone Road. That I might struggle by myself, I wrote in the little kitchen; and night after night as I fought grimly, savagely, all but hopelessly for some fit close for "A Fragment of Life," I was astonished and almost alarmed to find that my feet developed a sensation of most deadly cold. The room was not cold; I had lit the oven burners of the little gas cooking stove. I was not cold; but my feet were chilled in a quite extraordinary manner, as if they had been packed in ice. At last I took off my slippers with a view of poking my toes into the oven of the stove, and feeling my feet with my hand, I perceived that, in fact, they were not cold at all! But the sensation remained; there, I suppose, you have an odd case of a transference of something that was happening in the brain to the extremities. My feet were quite warm to the palm of my hand, but to my sense they were frozen. But what a testimony to the fitness of the American idiom, "cold feet," as signifying a depressed and desponding mood! But, somehow or other, the tale was finished and the "notion" was at last out of my head. I have gone into all this detail about "A Fragment of Life" because I have been assured in many quarters that it is the best thing that I have ever done, and students of the crooked ways of literature may be interested to hear of the abominable labours of doing it.

Still, I was not satisfied. That ending was unbearable[xiv] and I knew it. Once again, I sat down to work; night after night I struggled with it. I remember a peculiar circumstance that may or may not be interesting psychologically. I was living in a small "upper part" of a house on Cosway Street, Marylebone Road. To be able to work alone, I wrote in the tiny kitchen, and night after night, as I fought fiercely, almost hopelessly for an appropriate ending for "A Fragment of Life," I was surprised and somewhat alarmed to notice that my feet felt extremely cold. The room wasn’t cold; I had turned on the gas burners on the little cooking stove. I wasn’t cold, but my feet felt unusually chilled, as if they had been frozen in ice. Eventually, I took off my slippers to poke my toes into the oven of the stove, and feeling my feet with my hand, I realized they weren’t cold at all! But the sensation remained; I guess this was a strange case of something happening in my brain affecting my extremities. My feet felt warm to my palm, but to me, they felt frozen. What a testament to the appropriateness of the American phrase "cold feet" to describe a depressed and hopeless mood! But somehow, the story was finished, and the "idea" was finally out of my head. I go into all this detail about "A Fragment of Life" because many people have told me it's the best thing I've ever done, and students of literature might be interested in hearing about the dreadful struggle it took to create it.

"The White People" belongs to the same year as[xv] the first chapter of "A Fragment of Life," 1899, which was also the year of "Hieroglyphics." The fact was I was in high literary spirits, just then. I had been harassed and worried for a whole year in the office of Literature, a weekly paper published by The Times, and getting free again, I felt like a prisoner released from chains; ready to dance in letters to any extent. Forthwith I thought of "A Great Romance," a highly elaborate and elaborated piece of work, full of the strangest and rarest things. I have forgotten how it was that this design broke down; but I found by experiment that the great romance was to go on that brave shelf of the unwritten books, the shelf where all the splendid books are to be found in their golden bindings. "The White People" is a small piece of salvage from the wreck. Oddly enough, as is insinuated in the Prologue, the mainspring of the story is to be sought in a medical textbook. In the Prologue reference is made to a review article by Dr. Coryn. But I have since found out that Dr. Coryn was merely quoting from a scientific treatise that case of the lady whose fingers became violently inflamed because she saw a heavy window sash descend on the fingers of her child. With this instance, of course, are to be considered all cases of stigmata, both ancient and modern: and then the question is obvious enough: what limits can we place to the powers of the imagination? Has not the imagination the potentiality at least of performing any miracle, however marvelous, however incredible, according to our ordinary standards? As to the decoration of the story, that is a mingling which I venture to think somewhat ingenious of odds and ends of folk lore and witch lore with pure inventions[xvi] of my own. Some years later I was amused to receive a letter from a gentleman who was, if I remember, a schoolmaster somewhere in Malaya. This gentleman, an earnest student of folklore, was writing an article on some singular things he had observed amongst the Malayans, and chiefly a kind of were-wolf state into which some of them were able to conjure themselves. He had found, as he said, startling resemblances between the magic ritual of Malaya and some of the ceremonies and practices hinted at in "The White People." He presumed that all this was not fancy but fact; that is that I was describing practices actually in use among superstitious people on the Welsh border; he was going to quote from me in the article for the Journal of the Folk Lore Society, or whatever it was called, and he just wanted to let me know. I wrote in a hurry to the folklore journal to bid them beware: for the instances selected by the student were all fictions of my own brain!

"The White People" was written in the same year as[xv] the first chapter of "A Fragment of Life," 1899, which was also the year of "Hieroglyphics." At that time, I was feeling very inspired. I had been stressed and troubled for a whole year working at Literature, a weekly paper published by The Times, and finally feeling free again, I felt like a prisoner released from chains, ready to celebrate creativity in any way possible. Immediately, I thought of "A Great Romance," a complex and detailed work full of the strangest and rarest ideas. I can't remember how it was that this plan fell apart, but I discovered through experimentation that the grand romance would end up on that brave shelf of unwritten books, where all the magnificent books in their golden covers are found. "The White People" is a small piece salvaged from the wreck. Interestingly, as mentioned in the Prologue, the main idea of the story can be traced back to a medical textbook. In the Prologue, there's a reference to a review article by Dr. Coryn. However, I later learned that Dr. Coryn was only quoting from a scientific study about a woman whose fingers became severely inflamed after witnessing a heavy window sash fall on her child's fingers. Along with this case, we must also consider all examples of stigmata, both ancient and modern: and then the obvious question arises: what limits can we place on the powers of imagination? Doesn’t imagination at least have the potential to perform any miracle, no matter how marvelous or incredible by our usual standards? As for the story’s decoration, I think it includes a clever mix of bits and pieces of folklore and witch lore with pure inventions[xvi] of my own. Some years later, I was amused to receive a letter from a gentleman who was, if I remember correctly, a schoolmaster somewhere in Malaya. This gentleman, a serious student of folklore, was writing an article about some unusual things he had observed among the Malays, particularly a kind of werewolf state that some of them could enter. He found, as he said, startling similarities between the magical rituals of Malaya and some of the ceremonies and practices suggested in "The White People." He assumed that all this was not just imagination but reality; that I was describing practices actually found among superstitious people on the Welsh border. He intended to quote me in the article for the Journal of the Folk Lore Society, or whatever it was called, and just wanted to inform me. I quickly wrote to the folklore journal to warn them: for the examples chosen by the scholar were all inventions of my own imagination!

"The Great God Pan" and "The Inmost Light" are tales of an earlier date, going back to 1890, '91, '92. I have written a good deal about them in "Far Off Things," and in a preface to an edition of "The Great God Pan," published by Messrs. Simpkin, Marshall in 1916, I have described at length the origins of the book. But I must quote anew some extracts from the reviews which welcomed "The Great God Pan" to my extraordinary entertainment, hilarity and refreshment. Here are a few of the best:

"The Great God Pan" and "The Inmost Light" are stories from earlier times, dating back to 1890, '91, '92. I've written quite a bit about them in "Far Off Things," and in a preface for an edition of "The Great God Pan," published by Messrs. Simpkin, Marshall in 1916, I detailed the origins of the book. But I must share again some excerpts from the reviews that welcomed "The Great God Pan," which provided me with extraordinary entertainment, laughter, and refreshment. Here are a few of the best:

"It is not Mr. Machen's fault but his misfortune, that one shakes with laughter rather than with dread over the contemplation of his psychological bogey."—Observer.[xvii]

"It’s not Mr. Machen's fault, but his bad luck, that we find ourselves laughing instead of feeling scared when we think about his psychological monster."—Observer.[xvii]

"His horror, we regret to say, leaves us quite cold ... and our flesh obstinately refuses to creep."—Chronicle.

"His horror, unfortunately, leaves us feeling rather indifferent ... and our skin stubbornly refuses to crawl."—Chronicle.

"His bogies don't scare."—Sketch.

"His bogies don't scare."—Sketch.

"We are afraid he only succeeds in being ridiculous."—Manchester Guardian.

"We're afraid he just ends up looking ridiculous."—Manchester Guardian.

"Gruesome, ghastly and dull."—Lady's Pictorial.

"Gruesome, creepy, and boring."—Lady's Pictorial.

"Incoherent nightmare of sex ... which would soon lead to insanity if unrestrained ... innocuous from its absurdity."—Westminster Gazette.

"A confusing mess of sex... that would quickly drive someone insane if it's not kept in check... harmless because of how ridiculous it is."—Westminster Gazette.

And so on, and so on. Several papers, I remember, declared that "The Great God Pan" was simply a stupid and incompetent rehash of Huysmans' "Là-Bas" and "À Rebours." I had not read these books so I got them both. Thereon, I perceived that my critics had not read them either.

And so on, and so on. I recall several articles saying that "The Great God Pan" was just a dumb and useless remake of Huysmans' "Là-Bas" and "À Rebours." I hadn't read those books, so I got copies of both. From that, I realized my critics hadn't read them either.


A Fragment of Life

I

Edward Darnell awoke from a dream of an ancient wood, and of a clear well rising into grey film and vapour beneath a misty, glimmering heat; and as his eyes opened he saw the sunlight bright in the room, sparkling on the varnish of the new furniture. He turned and found his wife's place vacant, and with some confusion and wonder of the dream still lingering in his mind, he rose also, and began hurriedly to set about his dressing, for he had overslept a little, and the 'bus passed the corner at 9.15. He was a tall, thin man, dark-haired and dark-eyed, and in spite of the routine of the City, the counting of coupons, and all the mechanical drudgery that had lasted for ten years, there still remained about him the curious hint of a wild grace, as if he had been born a creature of the antique wood, and had seen the fountain rising from the green moss and the grey rocks.

Edward Darnell woke up from a dream about an ancient forest and a clear well rising into a grey mist and vapor beneath a hazy, shimmering heat. As he opened his eyes, he noticed the sunlight shining brightly in the room, sparkling on the varnish of the new furniture. He turned and found his wife's side of the bed empty, and with some confusion and the lingering wonder of the dream still in his mind, he got up and started to hurriedly get dressed because he had overslept a bit, and the bus passed the corner at 9:15. He was a tall, thin man with dark hair and dark eyes, and despite the routine of city life, the counting of coupons, and years of mechanical drudgery, there was still an intriguing hint of wild grace about him, as if he had been born from the ancient woods and had seen the fountain rise from the green moss and grey rocks.

The breakfast was laid in the room on the ground floor, the back room with the French windows looking on the garden, and before he sat down to his fried bacon he kissed his wife seriously and dutifully. She had brown hair and brown eyes, and though her lovely face was grave and quiet, one would have said that she might have awaited her husband under the old trees, and bathed in the pool hollowed out of the rocks.

The breakfast was set up in the room on the ground floor, the back room with the French windows overlooking the garden. Before he sat down to his fried bacon, he seriously and dutifully kissed his wife. She had brown hair and brown eyes, and even though her beautiful face was serious and calm, it seemed like she might have been waiting for her husband under the old trees, by the pool carved out of the rocks.

They had a good deal to talk over while the coffee[4] was poured out and the bacon eaten, and Darnell's egg brought in by the stupid, staring servant-girl of the dusty face. They had been married for a year, and they had got on excellently, rarely sitting silent for more than an hour, but for the past few weeks Aunt Marian's present had afforded a subject for conversation which seemed inexhaustible. Mrs. Darnell had been Miss Mary Reynolds, the daughter of an auctioneer and estate agent in Notting Hill, and Aunt Marian was her mother's sister, who was supposed rather to have lowered herself by marrying a coal merchant, in a small way, at Turnham Green. Marian had felt the family attitude a good deal, and the Reynoldses were sorry for many things that had been said, when the coal merchant saved money and took up land on building leases in the neighbourhood of Crouch End, greatly to his advantage, as it appeared. Nobody had thought that Nixon could ever do very much; but he and his wife had been living for years in a beautiful house at Barnet, with bow-windows, shrubs, and a paddock, and the two families saw but little of each other, for Mr. Reynolds was not very prosperous. Of course, Aunt Marian and her husband had been asked to Mary's wedding, but they had sent excuses with a nice little set of silver apostle spoons, and it was feared that nothing more was to be looked for. However, on Mary's birthday her aunt had written a most affectionate letter, enclosing a cheque for a hundred pounds from 'Robert' and herself, and ever since the receipt of the money the Darnells had discussed the question of its judicious disposal. Mrs. Darnell had wished to invest the whole sum in Government securities, but Mr. Darnell had[5] pointed out that the rate of interest was absurdly low, and after a good deal of talk he had persuaded his wife to put ninety pounds of the money in a safe mine, which was paying five per cent. This was very well, but the remaining ten pounds, which Mrs. Darnell had insisted on reserving, gave rise to legends and discourses as interminable as the disputes of the schools.

They had plenty to discuss while the coffee[4] was poured and the bacon was eaten, and Darnell's egg was brought in by the dazed, staring servant-girl with a dusty face. They had been married for a year and had gotten along great, rarely sitting in silence for more than an hour. But in the past few weeks, Aunt Marian's gift had provided them with an endless topic of conversation. Mrs. Darnell had been Miss Mary Reynolds, the daughter of an auctioneer and estate agent in Notting Hill, and Aunt Marian was her mother’s sister, who was thought to have lowered her status by marrying a small-time coal merchant in Turnham Green. Marian felt the family’s judgment keenly, and the Reynolds regretted many things that had been said when the coal merchant saved up and invested in land on building leases around Crouch End, which turned out to be quite beneficial for him. Nobody expected Nixon to achieve much; however, he and his wife had been living for years in a lovely house in Barnet, complete with bay windows, shrubs, and a paddock, and the two families saw very little of each other since Mr. Reynolds was not very successful. Naturally, Aunt Marian and her husband had been invited to Mary’s wedding, but they had sent their regrets along with a nice set of silver apostle spoons, and it was feared that nothing more would come of it. However, on Mary’s birthday, her aunt wrote a very affectionate letter, including a check for a hundred pounds from 'Robert' and herself, and ever since they got the money, the Darnells had been debating the best way to use it. Mrs. Darnell wanted to invest the entire amount in government bonds, but Mr. Darnell pointed out that the interest rates were ridiculously low, and after much discussion, he convinced his wife to put ninety pounds into a safe mine that was paying five percent. This was fine, but the remaining ten pounds that Mrs. Darnell insisted on keeping aside sparked discussions and legends as endless as the debates of the scholars.

At first Mr. Darnell had proposed that they should furnish the 'spare' room. There were four bedrooms in the house: their own room, the small one for the servant, and two others overlooking the garden, one of which had been used for storing boxes, ends of rope, and odd numbers of 'Quiet Days' and 'Sunday Evenings,' besides some worn suits belonging to Mr. Darnell which had been carefully wrapped up and laid by, as he scarcely knew what to do with them. The other room was frankly waste and vacant, and one Saturday afternoon, as he was coming home in the 'bus, and while he revolved that difficult question of the ten pounds, the unseemly emptiness of the spare room suddenly came into his mind, and he glowed with the idea that now, thanks to Aunt Marian, it could be furnished. He was busied with this delightful thought all the way home, but when he let himself in, he said nothing to his wife, since he felt that his idea must be matured. He told Mrs. Darnell that, having important business, he was obliged to go out again directly, but that he should be back without fail for tea at half-past six; and Mary, on her side, was not sorry to be alone, as she was a little behindhand with the household books. The fact was, that Darnell, full of the design of furnishing the spare[6] bedroom, wished to consult his friend Wilson, who lived at Fulham, and had often given him judicious advice as to the laying out of money to the very best advantage. Wilson was connected with the Bordeaux wine trade, and Darnell's only anxiety was lest he should not be at home.

At first, Mr. Darnell suggested they should furnish the spare room. There were four bedrooms in the house: their own room, a small one for the servant, and two others overlooking the garden. One of those was used for storing boxes, bits of rope, and random copies of 'Quiet Days' and 'Sunday Evenings,' along with some old suits belonging to Mr. Darnell that had been carefully packed away because he wasn't sure what to do with them. The other room was completely empty and unused, and one Saturday afternoon, while he was coming home on the bus and thinking about the tricky issue of the ten pounds, the stark emptiness of the spare room popped into his mind. He felt excited about the idea that, thanks to Aunt Marian, they could finally furnish it. He was wrapped up in this pleasant thought all the way home, but when he got back, he didn’t mention it to his wife because he wanted to fully develop his idea first. He told Mrs. Darnell that he had some important business to take care of and would be going out again immediately, but he promised to be back for tea at half-past six. Mary wasn’t too upset to be alone, as she was a little behind on the household books. The truth was, Darnell, eager to discuss furnishing the spare bedroom, wanted to consult his friend Wilson, who lived in Fulham and had often given him smart advice on spending money wisely. Wilson was in the Bordeaux wine trade, and Darnell’s only worry was whether he would be home.

However, it was all right; Darnell took a tram along the Goldhawk Road, and walked the rest of the way, and was delighted to see Wilson in the front garden of his house, busy amongst his flower-beds.

However, it was fine; Darnell took a tram along Goldhawk Road and walked the rest of the way. He was happy to see Wilson in the front yard of his house, working in his flower beds.

'Haven't seen you for an age,' he said cheerily, when he heard Darnell's hand on the gate; 'come in. Oh, I forgot,' he added, as Darnell still fumbled with the handle, and vainly attempted to enter. 'Of course you can't get in; I haven't shown it you.'

'Haven't seen you in forever,' he said happily when he heard Darnell's hand on the gate. 'Come on in. Oh, I forgot,' he added, as Darnell continued to struggle with the handle and tried to get in. 'Of course you can't get in; I haven't shown you how to use it.'

It was a hot day in June, and Wilson appeared in a costume which he had put on in haste as soon as he arrived from the City. He wore a straw hat with a neat pugaree protecting the back of his neck, and his dress was a Norfolk jacket and knickers in heather mixture.

It was a scorching day in June, and Wilson showed up in a costume he had thrown on quickly right after arriving from the City. He wore a straw hat with a neat band to protect the back of his neck, and his outfit consisted of a Norfolk jacket and shorts made from a heather-patterned fabric.

'See,' he said, as he let Darnell in; 'see the dodge. You don't turn the handle at all. First of all push hard, and then pull. It's a trick of my own, and I shall have it patented. You see, it keeps undesirable characters at a distance—such a great thing in the suburbs. I feel I can leave Mrs. Wilson alone now; and, formerly, you have no idea how she used to be pestered.'

'Look,' he said, as he let Darnell in; 'check out the trick. You don't turn the handle at all. First, push hard, and then pull. It's my own invention, and I'm going to patent it. You see, it keeps unwanted people away—such a big deal in the suburbs. I feel like I can leave Mrs. Wilson by herself now; and before, you can't imagine how much she used to be bothered.'

'But how about visitors?' said Darnell. 'How do they get in?'

'But what about visitors?' Darnell asked. 'How do they get in?'

'Oh, we put them up to it. Besides,' he said[7] vaguely, 'there is sure to be somebody looking out. Mrs. Wilson is nearly always at the window. She's out now; gone to call on some friends. The Bennetts' At Home day, I think it is. This is the first Saturday, isn't it? You know J. W. Bennett, don't you? Ah, he's in the House; doing very well, I believe. He put me on to a very good thing the other day.'

'Oh, we encouraged them to do it. Besides,' he said[7] vaguely, 'there’s probably someone watching. Mrs. Wilson is almost always at the window. She's out right now; went to visit some friends. I think it's the Bennetts' At Home day. This is the first Saturday, right? You know J. W. Bennett, don’t you? Ah, he's in the House; doing quite well, I believe. He tipped me off about a really good opportunity the other day.'

'But, I say,' said Wilson, as they turned and strolled towards the front door, 'what do you wear those black things for? You look hot. Look at me. Well, I've been gardening, you know, but I feel as cool as a cucumber. I dare say you don't know where to get these things? Very few men do. Where do you suppose I got 'em?'

'But, I say,' Wilson said as they turned and walked toward the front door, 'why are you wearing those black clothes? You look hot. Look at me. I've been gardening, you know, but I feel completely cool. I bet you don't know where to get these kinds of clothes? Very few men do. Where do you think I got them?'

'In the West End, I suppose,' said Darnell, wishing to be polite.

'In the West End, I guess,' said Darnell, trying to be polite.

'Yes, that's what everybody says. And it is a good cut. Well, I'll tell you, but you needn't pass it on to everybody. I got the tip from Jameson—you know him, "Jim-Jams," in the China trade, 39 Eastbrook—and he said he didn't want everybody in the City to know about it. But just go to Jennings, in Old Wall, and mention my name, and you'll be all right. And what d'you think they cost?'

'Yeah, that's what everyone says. And it’s a good cut. Well, I’ll tell you, but don’t pass it on to everyone. I got the tip from Jameson—you know him, "Jim-Jams," in the China trade, 39 Eastbrook—and he said he didn’t want everyone in the City to know about it. Just go to Jennings, in Old Wall, and mention my name, and you’ll be fine. And what do you think they cost?'

'I haven't a notion,' said Darnell, who had never bought such a suit in his life.

'I have no idea,' said Darnell, who had never bought a suit like that in his life.

'Well, have a guess.'

'Take a guess.'

Darnell regarded Wilson gravely.

Darnell looked at Wilson seriously.

The jacket hung about his body like a sack, the knickerbockers drooped lamentably over his calves, and in prominent positions the bloom of the heather seemed about to fade and disappear.[8]

The jacket hung on him like a bag, the knickerbockers sagged sadly over his calves, and the bright colors of the heather looked like they were about to fade away.[8]

'Three pounds, I suppose, at least,' he said at length.

'Three pounds, I guess, at least,' he finally said.

'Well, I asked Dench, in our place, the other day, and he guessed four ten, and his father's got something to do with a big business in Conduit Street. But I only gave thirty-five and six. To measure? Of course; look at the cut, man.'

'Well, I asked Dench at our place the other day, and he guessed four ten, and his dad is involved in a big business on Conduit Street. But I only paid thirty-five and six. To measure? Of course; just look at the cut, man.'

Darnell was astonished at so low a price.

Darnell was amazed at such a low price.

'And, by the way,' Wilson went on, pointing to his new brown boots, 'you know where to go for shoe-leather? Oh, I thought everybody was up to that! There's only one place. "Mr. Bill," in Gunning Street,—nine and six.'

'And, by the way,' Wilson continued, pointing to his new brown boots, 'do you know where to get shoe leather? Oh, I thought everyone knew that! There's only one place. "Mr. Bill," on Gunning Street—nine and six.'

They were walking round and round the garden, and Wilson pointed out the flowers in the beds and borders. There were hardly any blossoms, but everything was neatly arranged.

They were walking around the garden, and Wilson pointed out the flowers in the beds and borders. There were barely any blossoms, but everything was organized neatly.

'Here are the tuberous-rooted Glasgownias,' he said, showing a rigid row of stunted plants; 'those are Squintaceæ; this is a new introduction, Moldavia Semperflorida Andersonii; and this is Prattsia.'

'Here are the tuberous-rooted Glasgownias,' he said, showing a straight line of short plants; 'those are Squintaceæ; this is a new introduction, Moldavia Semperflorida Andersonii; and this is Prattsia.'

'When do they come out?' said Darnell.

'When do they come out?' Darnell asked.

'Most of them in the end of August or beginning of September,' said Wilson briefly. He was slightly annoyed with himself for having talked so much about his plants, since he saw that Darnell cared nothing for flowers; and, indeed, the visitor could hardly dissemble vague recollections that came to him; thoughts of an old, wild garden, full of odours, beneath grey walls, of the fragrance of the meadowsweet beside the brook.

'Most of them at the end of August or the beginning of September,' Wilson said shortly. He was a bit annoyed with himself for talking so much about his plants, realizing that Darnell wasn't interested in flowers at all; in fact, the visitor could hardly hide some hazy memories that came to him—thoughts of an old, wild garden, filled with scents, under grey walls, and the fragrance of meadowsweet by the brook.

'I wanted to consult you about some furniture,' Darnell said at last. 'You know we've got a spare[9] room, and I'm thinking of putting a few things into it. I haven't exactly made up my mind, but I thought you might advise me.'

'I wanted to talk to you about some furniture,' Darnell finally said. 'You know we have a spare[9] room, and I'm considering adding a few things to it. I haven't completely decided yet, but I thought you could give me some advice.'

'Come into my den,' said Wilson. 'No; this way, by the back'; and he showed Darnell another ingenious arrangement at the side door whereby a violent high-toned bell was set pealing in the house if one did but touch the latch. Indeed, Wilson handled it so briskly that the bell rang a wild alarm, and the servant, who was trying on her mistress's things in the bedroom, jumped madly to the window and then danced a hysteric dance. There was plaster found on the drawing-room table on Sunday afternoon, and Wilson wrote a letter to the 'Fulham Chronicle,' ascribing the phenomenon 'to some disturbance of a seismic nature.'

"Come into my office," Wilson said. "No; this way, by the back"; and he showed Darnell another clever setup by the side door where a loud, high-pitched bell would ring throughout the house if you just touched the latch. In fact, Wilson used it so energetically that the bell rang out chaotically, causing the servant, who was trying on her mistress's clothes in the bedroom, to jump frantically to the window and then perform a wild dance. There was plaster found on the drawing-room table on Sunday afternoon, and Wilson wrote a letter to the 'Fulham Chronicle,' attributing the incident "to some kind of seismic disturbance."

For the moment he knew nothing of the great results of his contrivance, and solemnly led the way towards the back of the house. Here there was a patch of turf, beginning to look a little brown, with a background of shrubs. In the middle of the turf, a boy of nine or ten was standing all alone, with something of an air.

For now, he was totally unaware of the significant outcomes of his invention and seriously walked toward the back of the house. There was a small patch of grass that was starting to look a bit brown, surrounded by some shrubs. In the center of the grass, a boy around nine or ten was standing by himself, giving off a bit of an attitude.

'The eldest,' said Wilson. 'Havelock. Well, Lockie, what are ye doing now? And where are your brother and sister?'

'The eldest,' said Wilson. 'Havelock. So, Lockie, what are you up to now? And where are your brother and sister?'

The boy was not at all shy. Indeed, he seemed eager to explain the course of events.

The boy wasn't shy at all. In fact, he seemed excited to explain what happened.

'I'm playing at being Gawd,' he said, with an engaging frankness. 'And I've sent Fergus and Janet to the bad place. That's in the shrubbery. And they're never to come out any more. And they're burning for ever and ever.'[10]

"I'm pretending to be God," he said, with an open honesty. "And I've sent Fergus and Janet to the bad place. That's in the bushes. And they can never come out again. And they're burning forever and ever."[10]

'What d'you think of that?' said Wilson admiringly. 'Not bad for a youngster of nine, is it? They think a lot of him at the Sunday-school. But come into my den.'

'What do you think of that?' said Wilson admiringly. 'Not bad for a nine-year-old, right? They think highly of him at Sunday school. But come into my space.'

The den was an apartment projecting from the back of the house. It had been designed as a back kitchen and washhouse, but Wilson had draped the 'copper' in art muslin and had boarded over the sink, so that it served as a workman's bench.

The den was an apartment sticking out from the back of the house. It was originally meant to be a back kitchen and washroom, but Wilson had covered the 'copper' with art muslin and had put boards over the sink, making it function as a workbench.

'Snug, isn't it?' he said, as he pushed forward one of the two wicker chairs. 'I think out things here, you know; it's quiet. And what about this furnishing? Do you want to do the thing on a grand scale?'

'Snice, right?' he said, as he moved one of the two wicker chairs forward. 'I figure things out here, you know; it’s peaceful. And what do you think of this setup? Do you want to go all out with it?'

'Oh, not at all. Quite the reverse. In fact, I don't know whether the sum at our disposal will be sufficient. You see the spare room is ten feet by twelve, with a western exposure, and I thought if we could manage it, that it would seem more cheerful furnished. Besides, it's pleasant to be able to ask a visitor; our aunt, Mrs. Nixon, for example. But she is accustomed to have everything very nice.'

'Oh, not at all. Quite the opposite. In fact, I’m not sure if the amount we have will be enough. You see, the spare room is ten feet by twelve, facing west, and I thought if we could manage it, it would feel more cheerful with some furniture. Plus, it’s nice to be able to invite a guest, like our aunt, Mrs. Nixon, for instance. But she's used to everything being really nice.'

'And how much do you want to spend?'

'And how much do you want to spend?'

'Well, I hardly think we should be justified in going much beyond ten pounds. That isn't enough, eh?'

'Well, I really don’t think we should go much over ten pounds. Isn’t that enough, though?'

Wilson got up and shut the door of the back kitchen impressively.

Wilson got up and closed the back kitchen door firmly.

'Look here,' he said, 'I'm glad you came to me in the first place. Now you'll just tell me where you thought of going yourself.'

'Look,' he said, 'I’m glad you came to me in the first place. Now just tell me where you were thinking of going on your own.'

'Well, I had thought of the Hampstead Road,' said Darnell in a hesitating manner.

"Well, I was thinking about Hampstead Road," Darnell said hesitantly.

'I just thought you'd say that. But I'll ask you, what is the good of going to those expensive shops[11] in the West End? You don't get a better article for your money. You're merely paying for fashion.'

'I figured you would say that. But let me ask you, what's the point of going to those pricey stores in the West End? You don't get a better product for your money. You're just paying for the trend.'

'I've seen some nice things in Samuel's, though. They get a brilliant polish on their goods in those superior shops. We went there when we were married.'

"I've seen some great stuff at Samuel's, though. They really make their products shine in those high-end stores. We went there when we got married."

'Exactly, and paid ten per cent more than you need have paid. It's throwing money away. And how much did you say you had to spend? Ten pounds. Well, I can tell you where to get a beautiful bedroom suite, in the very highest finish, for six pound ten. What d'you think of that? China included, mind you; and a square of carpet, brilliant colours, will only cost you fifteen and six. Look here, go any Saturday afternoon to Dick's, in the Seven Sisters Road, mention my name, and ask for Mr. Johnston. The suite's in ash, "Elizabethan" they call it. Six pound ten, including the china, with one of their "Orient" carpets, nine by nine, for fifteen and six. Dick's.'

'Exactly, and you're paying ten percent more than you need to. It's a waste of money. How much did you say you have to spend? Ten pounds. Well, I can tell you where to get a gorgeous bedroom set, in top-notch quality, for six pounds ten. What do you think about that? It includes china, by the way; and a square of carpet in vibrant colors will only cost you fifteen shillings. Look, just go any Saturday afternoon to Dick's on Seven Sisters Road, mention my name, and ask for Mr. Johnston. The set is made of ash, they call it "Elizabethan." Six pounds ten for the set, including the china, with one of their "Orient" carpets, nine by nine, for fifteen shillings. Dick's.'

Wilson spoke with some eloquence on the subject of furnishing. He pointed out that the times were changed, and that the old heavy style was quite out of date.

Wilson spoke quite eloquently about furnishing. He pointed out that times had changed, and that the old heavy style was totally outdated.

'You know,' he said, 'it isn't like it was in the old days, when people used to buy things to last hundreds of years. Why, just before the wife and I were married, an uncle of mine died up in the North and left me his furniture. I was thinking of furnishing at the time, and I thought the things might come in handy; but I assure you there wasn't a single article that I cared to give house-room to. All dingy, old mahogany; big bookcases and bureaus, and claw-legged chairs[12] and tables. As I said to the wife (as she was soon afterwards), "We don't exactly want to set up a chamber of horrors, do we?" So I sold off the lot for what I could get. I must confess I like a cheerful room.'

'You know,' he said, 'it's not like it used to be when people bought things to last for hundreds of years. Just before my wife and I got married, an uncle of mine died up North and left me his furniture. I was thinking about furnishing our place, and I thought the stuff might be useful; but honestly, there wasn't a single piece that I wanted to keep. All of it was old, dingy mahogany; big bookcases, bureaus, and claw-footed chairs and tables. As I told my wife (who wasn't my wife yet), "We don't exactly want to create a chamber of horrors, do we?" So I sold everything off for whatever I could get. I have to admit, I really like a cheerful room.'

Darnell said he had heard that artists liked the old-fashioned furniture.

Darnell said he had heard that artists preferred the vintage furniture.

'Oh, I dare say. The "unclean cult of the sunflower," eh? You saw that piece in the "Daily Post"? I hate all that rot myself. It isn't healthy, you know, and I don't believe the English people will stand it. But talking of curiosities, I've got something here that's worth a bit of money.'

'Oh, I must say. The "unclean cult of the sunflower," right? Did you see that article in the "Daily Post"? I really hate all that nonsense myself. It's not good for you, you know, and I don't think the English people will put up with it. But speaking of curiosities, I have something here that's worth a bit of cash.'

He dived into some dusty receptacle in a corner of the room, and showed Darnell a small, worm-eaten Bible, wanting the first five chapters of Genesis and the last leaf of the Apocalypse. It bore the date of 1753.

He reached into a dusty container in the corner of the room and showed Darnell a small, worm-eaten Bible that was missing the first five chapters of Genesis and the last page of Revelation. It was dated 1753.

'It's my belief that's worth a lot,' said Wilson. 'Look at the worm-holes. And you see it's "imperfect," as they call it. You've noticed that some of the most valuable books are "imperfect" at the sales?'

'It's my belief that's worth a lot,' said Wilson. 'Look at the wormholes. And you see it's "imperfect," as they call it. You've noticed that some of the most valuable books are "imperfect" at the sales?'

The interview came to an end soon after, and Darnell went home to his tea. He thought seriously of taking Wilson's advice, and after tea he told Mary of his idea and of what Wilson had said about Dick's.

The interview wrapped up shortly after, and Darnell headed home for his tea. He seriously considered taking Wilson's advice, and after tea, he shared his idea with Mary and what Wilson had said about Dick's.

Mary was a good deal taken by the plan when she had heard all the details. The prices struck her as very moderate. They were sitting one on each side of the grate (which was concealed by a pretty cardboard screen, painted with landscapes), and she rested her cheek on her hand, and her beautiful dark eyes[13] seemed to dream and behold strange visions. In reality she was thinking of Darnell's plan.

Mary was really intrigued by the plan once she heard all the details. The prices seemed very reasonable to her. They were sitting on either side of the fireplace (which was hidden behind a nice cardboard screen painted with landscapes), and she rested her cheek on her hand, her beautiful dark eyes[13] appearing to dream and see strange visions. In reality, she was thinking about Darnell's plan.

'It would be very nice in some ways,' she said at last. 'But we must talk it over. What I am afraid of is that it will come to much more than ten pounds in the long run. There are so many things to be considered. There's the bed. It would look shabby if we got a common bed without brass mounts. Then the bedding, the mattress, and blankets, and sheets, and counterpane would all cost something.'

'In some ways, it would be really nice,' she finally said. 'But we need to discuss it. What I'm worried about is that it will end up costing a lot more than ten pounds in the long run. There are so many things to think about. There's the bed. It would look cheap if we just got a regular bed without any brass fittings. Then there's the bedding, the mattress, the blankets, sheets, and bedspread; all of that will cost something.'

She dreamed again, calculating the cost of all the necessaries, and Darnell stared anxiously; reckoning with her, and wondering what her conclusion would be. For a moment the delicate colouring of her face, the grace of her form, and the brown hair, drooping over her ears and clustering in little curls about her neck, seemed to hint at a language which he had not yet learned; but she spoke again.

She dreamed again, figuring out the cost of all the necessities, and Darnell watched nervously, trying to figure out what she would decide. For a moment, the soft tone of her face, the elegance of her figure, and the brown hair that hung over her ears and curled around her neck seemed to suggest a language he had yet to understand; but then she spoke again.

'The bedding would come to a great deal, I am afraid. Even if Dick's are considerably cheaper than Boon's or Samuel's. And, my dear, we must have some ornaments on the mantelpiece. I saw some very nice vases at eleven-three the other day at Wilkin and Dodd's. We should want six at least, and there ought to be a centre-piece. You see how it mounts up.'

'The bedding is going to cost a lot, I’m afraid. Even though Dick’s is much cheaper than Boon’s or Samuel’s. And, darling, we need some decorations for the mantelpiece. I spotted some really nice vases for eleven-three the other day at Wilkin and Dodd’s. We should get at least six, and there should be a centerpiece. You can see how it adds up.'

Darnell was silent. He saw that his wife was summing up against his scheme, and though he had set his heart on it, he could not resist her arguments.

Darnell stayed quiet. He realized that his wife was against his plan, and even though he was determined to go through with it, he couldn't argue against her points.

'It would be nearer twelve pounds than ten,' she said.

'It would be closer to twelve pounds than ten,' she said.

'The floor would have to be stained round the carpet (nine by nine, you said?), and we should want a[14] piece of linoleum to go under the washstand. And the walls would look very bare without any pictures.'

'The floor needs to be stained around the carpet (nine by nine, you said?), and we'll need a [14] piece of linoleum to go under the washstand. Plus, the walls would look really empty without any pictures.'

'I thought about the pictures,' said Darnell; and he spoke quite eagerly. He felt that here, at least, he was unassailable. 'You know there's the "Derby Day" and the "Railway Station," ready framed, standing in the corner of the box-room already. They're a bit old-fashioned, perhaps, but that doesn't matter in a bedroom. And couldn't we use some photographs? I saw a very neat frame in natural oak in the City, to hold half a dozen, for one and six. We might put in your father, and your brother James, and Aunt Marian, and your grandmother, in her widow's cap—and any of the others in the album. And then there's that old family picture in the hair-trunk—that might do over the mantelpiece.'

"I was thinking about the pictures," Darnell said eagerly. He felt confident that this was one area where he couldn’t be challenged. "You know we have 'Derby Day' and 'Railway Station' already framed, just sitting in the corner of the box room. They might be a little old-fashioned, but that’s fine for a bedroom. And what about using some photographs? I saw a really nice natural oak frame in the city that holds six for just a dollar fifty. We could include your dad, your brother James, Aunt Marian, and your grandmother in her widow's cap—and any of the others from the album. Plus, that old family portrait in the hair trunk might look good above the mantelpiece."

'You mean your great-grandfather in the gilt frame? But that's very old-fashioned, isn't it? He looks so queer in his wig. I don't think it would quite go with the room, somehow.'

'You mean your great-grandfather in the fancy frame? But that's really old-fashioned, right? He looks so weird in his wig. I don’t think it would really fit with the room, somehow.'

Darnell thought a moment. The portrait was a 'kitcat' of a young gentleman, bravely dressed in the fashion of 1750, and he very faintly remembered some old tales that his father had told him about this ancestor—tales of the woods and fields, of the deep sunken lanes, and the forgotten country in the west.

Darnell paused for a moment. The portrait was a 'kitcat' of a young man, smartly dressed in the style of 1750, and he vaguely recalled some old stories his father had shared about this ancestor—stories of the woods and fields, of the deep sunken paths, and the lost countryside in the west.

'No,' he said, 'I suppose it is rather out of date. But I saw some very nice prints in the City, framed and quite cheap.'

'No,' he said, 'I guess it's a bit old-fashioned. But I saw some really nice prints in the city, framed and pretty affordable.'

'Yes, but everything counts. Well, we will talk it over, as you say. You know we must be careful.'

'Yes, but everything matters. Alright, we'll discuss it, as you mentioned. You know we need to be cautious.'

The servant came in with the supper, a tin of biscuits,[15] a glass of milk for the mistress, and a modest pint of beer for the master, with a little cheese and butter. Afterwards Edward smoked two pipes of honeydew, and they went quietly to bed; Mary going first, and her husband following a quarter of an hour later, according to the ritual established from the first days of their marriage. Front and back doors were locked, the gas was turned off at the meter, and when Darnell got upstairs he found his wife already in bed, her face turned round on the pillow.

The servant came in with dinner, a tin of cookies,[15] a glass of milk for the wife, and a small pint of beer for the husband, along with some cheese and butter. Afterward, Edward smoked two pipes of honeydew, and they quietly went to bed; Mary went first, and her husband followed a quarter of an hour later, following the routine they had established since the early days of their marriage. The front and back doors were locked, the gas was turned off at the meter, and when Darnell got upstairs, he found his wife already in bed, her face turned towards the pillow.

She spoke softly to him as he came into the room.

She spoke quietly to him as he walked into the room.

'It would be impossible to buy a presentable bed at anything under one pound eleven, and good sheets are dear, anywhere.'

'It would be impossible to buy a decent bed for less than one pound eleven, and good sheets are expensive, no matter where you go.'

He slipped off his clothes and slid gently into bed, putting out the candle on the table. The blinds were all evenly and duly drawn, but it was a June night, and beyond the walls, beyond that desolate world and wilderness of grey Shepherd's Bush, a great golden moon had floated up through magic films of cloud, above the hill, and the earth was filled with a wonderful light between red sunset lingering over the mountain and that marvellous glory that shone into the woods from the summit of the hill. Darnell seemed to see some reflection of that wizard brightness in the room; the pale walls and the white bed and his wife's face lying amidst brown hair upon the pillow were illuminated, and listening he could almost hear the corncrake in the fields, the fern-owl sounding his strange note from the quiet of the rugged place where the bracken grew, and, like the echo of a magic song, the melody of the nightingale that sang all night in the alder by the little brook. There was nothing[16] that he could say, but he slowly stole his arm under his wife's neck, and played with the ringlets of brown hair. She never moved, she lay there gently breathing, looking up to the blank ceiling of the room with her beautiful eyes, thinking also, no doubt, thoughts that she could not utter, kissing her husband obediently when he asked her to do so, and he stammered and hesitated as he spoke.

He took off his clothes and slid into bed, blowing out the candle on the table. The blinds were all drawn, but it was a June night, and outside, beyond the walls and the desolate world of grey Shepherd's Bush, a great golden moon floated up through wispy clouds above the hill, filling the earth with a magical light between the red sunset lingering over the mountain and the amazing glow shining into the woods from the hilltop. Darnell seemed to see a reflection of that enchanting brightness in the room; the pale walls, the white bed, and his wife's face nestled in her brown hair on the pillow were all illuminated. Listening, he could almost hear the corncrake in the fields, the fern-owl making its strange call from the quiet rugged area where the bracken grew, and, like the echo of a magical song, the melody of the nightingale that sang all night by the little brook in the alder. There was nothing[16] he could say, so he slowly slipped his arm under his wife's neck and played with the ringlets of her brown hair. She never moved; she lay there gently breathing, gazing up at the blank ceiling with her beautiful eyes, thinking, no doubt, thoughts she couldn’t express, kissing her husband obediently when he asked, even as he stammered and hesitated in his speech.

They were nearly asleep, indeed Darnell was on the very eve of dreaming, when she said very softly—

They were almost asleep; in fact, Darnell was just about to start dreaming when she said very softly—

'I am afraid, darling, that we could never afford it.' And he heard her words through the murmur of the water, dripping from the grey rock, and falling into the clear pool beneath.

'I’m afraid, darling, that we could never afford it.' And he heard her words through the sound of the water, dripping from the gray rock and falling into the clear pool below.

Sunday morning was always an occasion of idleness. Indeed, they would never have got breakfast if Mrs. Darnell, who had the instincts of the housewife, had not awoke and seen the bright sunshine, and felt that the house was too still. She lay quiet for five minutes, while her husband slept beside her, and listened intently, waiting for the sound of Alice stirring down below. A golden tube of sunlight shone through some opening in the Venetian blinds, and it shone on the brown hair that lay about her head on the pillow, and she looked steadily into the room at the 'duchesse' toilet-table, the coloured ware of the washstand, and the two photogravures in oak frames, 'The Meeting' and 'The Parting,' that hung upon the wall. She was half dreaming as she listened for the servant's footsteps, and the faint shadow of a shade of a thought came over her, and she imagined dimly, for the quick moment of a dream, another world where rapture was wine, where one wandered in a deep and[17] happy valley, and the moon was always rising red above the trees. She was thinking of Hampstead, which represented to her the vision of the world beyond the walls, and the thought of the heath led her away to Bank Holidays, and then to Alice. There was not a sound in the house; it might have been midnight for the stillness if the drawling cry of the Sunday paper had not suddenly echoed round the corner of Edna Road, and with it came the warning clank and shriek of the milkman with his pails.

Sunday morning was always a time for laziness. In fact, they might not have had breakfast if Mrs. Darnell, who had a housewife’s instincts, hadn’t woken up, noticed the bright sunshine, and sensed that the house was too quiet. She lay still for five minutes while her husband slept next to her, listening intently for the sound of Alice moving around downstairs. A beam of golden sunlight streamed through a gap in the Venetian blinds, lighting up the brown hair spread across her pillow, and she looked steadily at the 'duchesse' dressing table, the colorful washstand, and the two framed prints on the wall, 'The Meeting' and 'The Parting.' She was half-dreaming as she waited for the servant's footsteps, and a fleeting thought crossed her mind; she vaguely imagined, for a brief moment, another world where happiness was like wine, where one wandered in a deep and happy valley, and the moon always rose red above the trees. She was thinking of Hampstead, which represented her vision of the world outside the walls, and the thought of the heath took her mind to Bank Holidays, and then to Alice. There was no sound in the house; it could have been midnight for all the stillness if it weren't for the lazy cry of the Sunday newspaper suddenly echoing around the corner of Edna Road, followed by the clanking and shouting of the milkman with his pails.

Mrs. Darnell sat up, and wide awake, listened more intently. The girl was evidently fast asleep, and must be roused, or all the work of the day would be out of joint, and she remembered how Edward hated any fuss or discussion about household matters, more especially on a Sunday, after his long week's work in the City. She gave her husband an affectionate glance as he slept on, for she was very fond of him, and so she gently rose from the bed and went in her nightgown to call the maid.

Mrs. Darnell sat up and listened more closely, wide awake. The girl was clearly fast asleep and needed to be woken up, or everything they had planned for the day would fall apart. She remembered how much Edward disliked any fuss or discussions about household issues, especially on a Sunday after a long week working in the City. She cast an affectionate glance at her husband as he slept, feeling very fond of him. So, she gently got out of bed and walked in her nightgown to call the maid.

The servant's room was small and stuffy, the night had been very hot, and Mrs. Darnell paused for a moment at the door, wondering whether the girl on the bed was really the dusty-faced servant who bustled day by day about the house, or even the strangely bedizened creature, dressed in purple, with a shiny face, who would appear on the Sunday afternoon, bringing in an early tea, because it was her 'evening out.' Alice's hair was black and her skin was pale, almost of the olive tinge, and she lay asleep, her head resting on one arm, reminding Mrs. Darnell of a queer print of a 'Tired Bacchante' that she had seen long ago in a shop window in Upper Street, Islington. And a[18] cracked bell was ringing; that meant five minutes to eight, and nothing done.

The servant's room was small and stuffy; the night had been very hot. Mrs. Darnell paused for a moment at the door, wondering if the girl on the bed was really the dusty-faced servant who bustled around the house every day, or even the strangely dressed girl in purple with a shiny face who would show up on Sunday afternoons, bringing in an early tea because it was her "evening out." Alice's hair was black, and her skin was pale, almost olive-toned, as she lay asleep with her head resting on one arm. This reminded Mrs. Darnell of a peculiar print of a "Tired Bacchante" she had seen long ago in a shop window on Upper Street, Islington. And a [18] cracked bell was ringing; that meant five minutes to eight, and nothing done.

She touched the girl gently on the shoulder, and only smiled when her eyes opened, and waking with a start, she got up in sudden confusion. Mrs. Darnell went back to her room and dressed slowly while her husband still slept, and it was only at the last moment, as she fastened her cherry-coloured bodice, that she roused him, telling him that the bacon would be overdone unless he hurried over his dressing.

She gently touched the girl on the shoulder, smiling only when her eyes opened. Startled awake, the girl quickly got up in confusion. Mrs. Darnell went back to her room and got dressed slowly while her husband continued to sleep. It was only at the last moment, as she fastened her bright red bodice, that she woke him up, telling him that the bacon would be burned if he didn't hurry getting ready.

Over the breakfast they discussed the question of the spare room all over again. Mrs. Darnell still admitted that the plan of furnishing it attracted her, but she could not see how it could be done for the ten pounds, and as they were prudent people they did not care to encroach on their savings. Edward was highly paid, having (with allowances for extra work in busy weeks) a hundred and forty pounds a year, and Mary had inherited from an old uncle, her godfather, three hundred pounds, which had been judiciously laid out in mortgage at 4½ per cent. Their total income, then, counting in Aunt Marian's present, was a hundred and fifty-eight pounds a year, and they were clear of debt, since Darnell had bought the furniture for the house out of money which he had saved for five or six years before. In the first few years of his life in the City his income had, of course, been smaller, and at first he had lived very freely, without a thought of laying by. The theatres and music-halls had attracted him, and scarcely a week passed without his going (in the pit) to one or the other; and he had occasionally bought photographs of actresses who pleased him. These he had solemnly burnt when he became engaged[19] to Mary; he remembered the evening well; his heart had been so full of joy and wonder, and the landlady had complained bitterly of the mess in the grate when he came home from the City the next night. Still, the money was lost, as far as he could recollect, ten or twelve shillings; and it annoyed him all the more to reflect that if he had put it by, it would have gone far towards the purchase of an 'Orient' carpet in brilliant colours. Then there had been other expenses of his youth: he had purchased threepenny and even fourpenny cigars, the latter rarely, but the former frequently, sometimes singly, and sometimes in bundles of twelve for half-a-crown. Once a meerschaum pipe had haunted him for six weeks; the tobacconist had drawn it out of a drawer with some air of secrecy as he was buying a packet of 'Lone Star.' Here was another useless expense, these American-manufactured tobaccos; his 'Lone Star,' 'Long Judge,' 'Old Hank,' 'Sultry Clime,' and the rest of them cost from a shilling to one and six the two-ounce packet; whereas now he got excellent loose honeydew for threepence halfpenny an ounce. But the crafty tradesman, who had marked him down as a buyer of expensive fancy goods, nodded with his air of mystery, and, snapping open the case, displayed the meerschaum before the dazzled eyes of Darnell. The bowl was carved in the likeness of a female figure, showing the head and torso, and the mouthpiece was of the very best amber—only twelve and six, the man said, and the amber alone, he declared, was worth more than that. He explained that he felt some delicacy about showing the pipe to any but a regular customer, and was willing to take a little under cost price and 'cut the loss.' Darnell resisted[20] for the time, but the pipe troubled him, and at last he bought it. He was pleased to show it to the younger men in the office for a while, but it never smoked very well, and he gave it away just before his marriage, as from the nature of the carving it would have been impossible to use it in his wife's presence. Once, while he was taking his holidays at Hastings, he had purchased a malacca cane—a useless thing that had cost seven shillings—and he reflected with sorrow on the innumerable evenings on which he had rejected his landlady's plain fried chop, and had gone out to flaner among the Italian restaurants in Upper Street, Islington (he lodged in Holloway), pampering himself with expensive delicacies: cutlets and green peas, braised beef with tomato sauce, fillet steak and chipped potatoes, ending the banquet very often with a small wedge of Gruyère, which cost twopence. One night, after receiving a rise in his salary, he had actually drunk a quarter-flask of Chianti and had added the enormities of Benedictine, coffee, and cigarettes to an expenditure already disgraceful, and sixpence to the waiter made the bill amount to four shillings instead of the shilling that would have provided him with a wholesome and sufficient repast at home. Oh, there were many other items in this account of extravagance, and Darnell had often regretted his way of life, thinking that if he had been more careful, five or six pounds a year might have been added to their income.

Over breakfast, they went over the spare room issue again. Mrs. Darnell still admitted that she liked the idea of furnishing it, but she didn’t see how they could do it for ten pounds, and since they were sensible people, they didn’t want to dip into their savings. Edward had a good salary, earning a hundred and forty pounds a year (including allowances for extra work during busy weeks), and Mary had inherited three hundred pounds from her godfather, which they had wisely invested in a mortgage at 4½ percent. Their total income, accounting for Aunt Marian's gift, was a hundred and fifty-eight pounds a year, and they were debt-free since Darnell had bought the furniture for their home with money he had saved over five or six years before. In his early years in the city, his income had been lower, and he had spent freely, not thinking about saving. He was drawn to the theaters and music halls, rarely going a week without attending one or the other. He had occasionally bought photographs of actresses he liked, but he had solemnly burned them when he got engaged to Mary. He remembered that evening well; his heart was filled with joy, and his landlady had complained about the mess in the fireplace when he returned from the city the next night. Still, he figured he had wasted about ten or twelve shillings, which annoyed him even more because if he had saved it, it would have contributed significantly toward buying a bright-colored 'Orient' carpet. There were also other expenses from his youth: he had bought three-penny and sometimes even four-penny cigars, the latter rarely but the former often, sometimes one at a time, and sometimes in packs of twelve for half-a-crown. Once, he had been tempted by a meerschaum pipe that had caught his eye for six weeks; the tobacconist had pulled it from a drawer with a sense of secrecy while he was buying a packet of 'Lone Star.' This was another pointless expense, these American-made tobaccos; his 'Lone Star,' 'Long Judge,' 'Old Hank,' 'Sultry Clime,' and others cost from a shilling to one and six for a two-ounce packet; whereas now he could get good loose honeydew for threepence halfpenny an ounce. But the crafty shopkeeper, having identified him as a buyer of high-end items, nodded knowingly and, snapping open the case, showed the meerschaum to Darnell's amazed eyes. The bowl was carved into the shape of a female figure, displaying the head and torso, and the mouthpiece was made of the best amber—only twelve and six, the man said, claiming the amber alone was worth more than that. He explained that he felt a bit hesitant to show the pipe to anyone but a regular customer and was willing to sell it for a bit less than its cost price to 'cut his losses.' Darnell resisted for a while but eventually bought it. He enjoyed showing it off to the younger guys in the office for a bit, but it never smoked well, and he gave it away right before his marriage since the carving made it impossible to use in front of his wife. Once, while on holiday in Hastings, he bought a malacca cane—a useless item that cost seven shillings—and he mourned the countless evenings he had turned down his landlady's simple fried chop to go out and indulge in expensive meals at Italian restaurants in Upper Street, Islington (he lived in Holloway), treating himself to cutlets, green peas, braised beef with tomato sauce, fillet steak with chipped potatoes, often finishing the meal with a small wedge of Gruyère that cost twopence. One night, after getting a raise, he actually drank a quarter-flask of Chianti and added the extravagance of Benedictine, coffee, and cigarettes to an already embarrassing bill; tipping the waiter brought the total to four shillings instead of the one shilling that would have bought him a wholesome and satisfying meal at home. Oh, there were many other items in this account of his extravagance, and Darnell had often regretted his lifestyle, thinking that if he had been more cautious, he could have added five or six pounds a year to their income.

And the question of the spare room brought back these regrets in an exaggerated degree. He persuaded himself that the extra five pounds would have given a sufficient margin for the outlay that he desired to make; though this was, no doubt, a mistake on his part. But[21] he saw quite clearly that, under the present conditions, there must be no levies made on the very small sum of money that they had saved. The rent of the house was thirty-five, and rates and taxes added another ten pounds—nearly a quarter of their income for house-room. Mary kept down the housekeeping bills to the very best of her ability, but meat was always dear, and she suspected the maid of cutting surreptitious slices from the joint and eating them in her bedroom with bread and treacle in the dead of night, for the girl had disordered and eccentric appetites. Mr. Darnell thought no more of restaurants, cheap or dear; he took his lunch with him to the City, and joined his wife in the evening at high tea—chops, a bit of steak, or cold meat from the Sunday's dinner. Mrs. Darnell ate bread and jam and drank a little milk in the middle of the day; but, with the utmost economy, the effort to live within their means and to save for future contingencies was a very hard one. They had determined to do without change of air for at least three years, as the honeymoon at Walton-on-the-Naze had cost a good deal; and it was on this ground that they had, somewhat illogically, reserved the ten pounds, declaring that as they were not to have any holiday they would spend the money on something useful.

And the issue of the spare room brought back these regrets even more intensely. He convinced himself that the extra five pounds would have provided enough leeway for the expenses he wanted to cover; although, this was likely a mistake on his part. But[21] he realized clearly that, given the current situation, they couldn't touch the very small amount of savings they had. The rent for the house was thirty-five, and with rates and taxes, it came to another ten pounds—almost a quarter of their income for housing. Mary did her best to keep the grocery bills low, but meat was always expensive, and she suspected the maid was sneaking bites from the roast and eating them in her room at night with bread and treacle, since the girl had strange eating habits. Mr. Darnell didn't think about dining out, whether cheap or fancy; he packed his lunch for work and met his wife for high tea in the evening—chops, a bit of steak, or leftovers from Sunday dinner. Mrs. Darnell ate bread and jam and had a little milk around lunchtime; however, trying to stick to their budget and save for future emergencies was really challenging. They had decided to forgo any change of scenery for at least three years, as their honeymoon at Walton-on-the-Naze had been quite expensive; and it was on this basis that they had, somewhat irrationally, set aside the ten pounds, saying that since they weren't going on holiday, they would spend it on something practical.

And it was this consideration of utility that was finally fatal to Darnell's scheme. They had calculated and recalculated the expense of the bed and bedding, the linoleum, and the ornaments, and by a great deal of exertion the total expenditure had been made to assume the shape of 'something very little over ten pounds,' when Mary said quite suddenly—

And it was this focus on practicality that ultimately doomed Darnell's plan. They had crunched the numbers over and over for the cost of the bed and bedding, the linoleum, and the decorations, and with a lot of effort, they managed to make the total cost look like 'just a bit over ten pounds,' when Mary suddenly said—

'But, after all, Edward, we don't really want to[22] furnish the room at all. I mean it isn't necessary. And if we did so it might lead to no end of expense. People would hear of it and be sure to fish for invitations. You know we have relatives in the country, and they would be almost certain, the Mallings, at any rate, to give hints.'

'But, after all, Edward, we don’t really want to[22] furnish the room at all. I mean, it’s not necessary. And if we did, it might end up costing a lot. People would hear about it and definitely try to get invites. You know we have relatives in the country, and the Mallings would probably drop hints for sure.'

Darnell saw the force of the argument and gave way. But he was bitterly disappointed.

Darnell recognized the strength of the argument and gave in. But he felt really let down.

'It would have been very nice, wouldn't it?' he said with a sigh.

"It would have been really nice, wouldn't it?" he said with a sigh.

'Never mind, dear,' said Mary, who saw that he was a good deal cast down. 'We must think of some other plan that will be nice and useful too.'

'It's okay, dear,' said Mary, noticing that he seemed quite upset. 'We need to come up with another plan that's both nice and useful.'

She often spoke to him in that tone of a kind mother, though she was by three years the younger.

She often talked to him in that nurturing tone, even though she was three years younger.

'And now,' she said, 'I must get ready for church. Are you coming?'

'And now,' she said, 'I need to get ready for church. Are you coming?'

Darnell said that he thought not. He usually accompanied his wife to morning service, but that day he felt some bitterness in his heart, and preferred to lounge under the shade of the big mulberry tree that stood in the middle of their patch of garden—relic of the spacious lawns that had once lain smooth and green and sweet, where the dismal streets now swarmed in a hopeless labyrinth.

Darnell said he didn't think so. He usually went with his wife to the morning service, but that day he felt some bitterness in his heart and preferred to relax under the shade of the big mulberry tree in the middle of their garden—a remnant of the spacious lawns that had once been smooth, green, and sweet, now overrun by the dismal streets in a hopeless maze.

So Mary went quietly and alone to church. St. Paul's stood in a neighbouring street, and its Gothic design would have interested a curious inquirer into the history of a strange revival. Obviously, mechanically, there was nothing amiss. The style chosen was 'geometrical decorated,' and the tracery of the windows seemed correct. The nave, the aisles, the spacious chancel, were reasonably proportioned; and, to be quite[23] serious, the only feature obviously wrong was the substitution of a low 'chancel wall' with iron gates for the rood screen with the loft and rood. But this, it might plausibly be contended, was merely an adaptation of the old idea to modern requirements, and it would have been quite difficult to explain why the whole building, from the mere mortar setting between the stones to the Gothic gas standards, was a mysterious and elaborate blasphemy. The canticles were sung to Joll in B flat, the chants were 'Anglican,' and the sermon was the gospel for the day, amplified and rendered into the more modern and graceful English of the preacher. And Mary came away.

So Mary went quietly and alone to church. St. Paul’s was on a nearby street, and its Gothic design would have caught the attention of anyone curious about the history of a unique revival. Obviously, everything was in order. The chosen style was ‘geometrical decorated,’ and the window designs seemed accurate. The nave, the aisles, and the spacious chancel were well-proportioned; and, to be honest, the only noticeably wrong feature was the replacement of a low ‘chancel wall’ with iron gates for the rood screen with the loft and rood. However, it could be argued that this was just a modern adaptation of an old idea, and it would have been quite challenging to explain why the entire building, from the mortar between the stones to the Gothic gas lights, was a puzzling and elaborate disrespect. The canticles were sung to Joll in B flat, the chants were ‘Anglican,’ and the sermon was the gospel for the day, elaborated and expressed in the more contemporary and elegant English of the preacher. And Mary came away.

After their dinner (an excellent piece of Australian mutton, bought in the 'World Wide' Stores, in Hammersmith), they sat for some time in the garden, partly sheltered by the big mulberry tree from the observation of their neighbours. Edward smoked his honeydew, and Mary looked at him with placid affection.

After their dinner (a great piece of Australian mutton, purchased at the 'World Wide' Stores in Hammersmith), they sat for a while in the garden, partly shielded by the large mulberry tree from the gaze of their neighbors. Edward smoked his honeydew, and Mary looked at him with calm affection.

'You never tell me about the men in your office,' she said at length. 'Some of them are nice fellows, aren't they?'

'You never talk to me about the guys in your office,' she said after a moment. 'Some of them are pretty cool, right?'

'Oh, yes, they're very decent. I must bring some of them round, one of these days.'

'Oh, yeah, they're really nice. I should bring some of them over one of these days.'

He remembered with a pang that it would be necessary to provide whisky. One couldn't ask the guest to drink table beer at tenpence the gallon.

He remembered with a twinge that he would need to provide whisky. You couldn't expect the guest to drink cheap beer at ten pence a gallon.

'Who are they, though?' said Mary. 'I think they might have given you a wedding present.'

'Who are they, though?' Mary asked. 'I think they might have given you a wedding gift.'

'Well, I don't know. We never have gone in for that sort of thing. But they're very decent chaps. Well, there's Harvey; "Sauce" they call him behind his back. He's mad on bicycling. He went in last year[24] for the Two Miles Amateur Record. He'd have made it, too, if he could have got into better training.

'Well, I don’t know. We’ve never been into that kind of thing. But they're really good guys. There’s Harvey; they call him "Sauce" behind his back. He’s obsessed with biking. He tried for the Two Miles Amateur Record last year[24]. He would have made it, too, if he had been able to train better.

'Then there's James, a sporting man. You wouldn't care for him. I always think he smells of the stable.'

'Then there's James, a sports guy. You probably wouldn't like him. I always think he smells like the barn.'

'How horrid!' said Mrs. Darnell, finding her husband a little frank, lowering her eyes as she spoke.

'How awful!' said Mrs. Darnell, feeling her husband was being a bit too honest, lowering her eyes as she spoke.

'Dickenson might amuse you,' Darnell went on. 'He's always got a joke. A terrible liar, though. When he tells a tale we never know how much to believe. He swore the other day he'd seen one of the governors buying cockles off a barrow near London Bridge, and Jones, who's just come, believed every word of it.'

'Dickenson might entertain you,' Darnell continued. 'He's always cracking jokes. But he's a really bad liar. When he spins a story, we can never tell how much of it is true. The other day, he claimed he saw one of the governors buying cockles from a cart near London Bridge, and Jones, who's just arrived, believed every bit of it.'

Darnell laughed at the humorous recollection of the jest.

Darnell laughed at the funny memory of the joke.

'And that wasn't a bad yarn about Salter's wife,' he went on. 'Salter is the manager, you know. Dickenson lives close by, in Notting Hill, and he said one morning that he had seen Mrs. Salter, in the Portobello Road, in red stockings, dancing to a piano organ.'

'And that wasn’t a bad story about Salter’s wife,' he continued. 'Salter is the manager, you know. Dickenson lives nearby, in Notting Hill, and he said one morning that he had seen Mrs. Salter on Portobello Road, wearing red stockings, dancing to a piano organ.'

'He's a little coarse, isn't he?' said Mrs. Darnell. 'I don't see much fun in that.'

'He's a bit rough around the edges, isn't he?' said Mrs. Darnell. 'I don't find that very entertaining.'

'Well, you know, amongst men it's different. You might like Wallis; he's a tremendous photographer. He often shows us photos he's taken of his children—one, a little girl of three, in her bath. I asked him how he thought she'd like it when she was twenty-three.'

'Well, you know, it's different among men. You might like Wallis; he's an amazing photographer. He often shares photos he's taken of his kids—like one of his three-year-old daughter in the bath. I asked him how he thought she'd feel about that when she turned twenty-three.'

Mrs. Darnell looked down and made no answer.

Mrs. Darnell looked down and didn't respond.

There was silence for some minutes while Darnell smoked his pipe. 'I say, Mary,' he said at length, 'what do you say to our taking a paying guest?'[25]

There was silence for a few minutes while Darnell smoked his pipe. "Hey, Mary," he finally said, "what do you think about getting a paying guest?"[25]

'A paying guest! I never thought of it. Where should we put him?'

'A paying guest! I never considered that. Where should we put him?'

'Why, I was thinking of the spare room. The plan would obviate your objection, wouldn't it? Lots of men in the City take them, and make money of it too. I dare say it would add ten pounds a year to our income. Redgrave, the cashier, finds it worth his while to take a large house on purpose. They have a regular lawn for tennis and a billiard-room.'

'Why, I was thinking about the spare room. That plan would get rid of your concern, right? A lot of guys in the City do it and actually make money from it. I suppose it could add an extra ten pounds a year to our income. Redgrave, the cashier, finds it worthwhile to rent a big house for that reason. They have a lawn for tennis and a billiard room.'

Mary considered gravely, always with the dream in her eyes. 'I don't think we could manage it, Edward,' she said; 'it would be inconvenient in many ways.' She hesitated for a moment. 'And I don't think I should care to have a young man in the house. It is so very small, and our accommodation, as you know, is so limited.'

Mary thought seriously, always with that dream in her eyes. "I don't think we could handle it, Edward," she said; "it would be inconvenient in a lot of ways." She paused for a moment. "And I don't think I want a young man living in the house. It's really small, and our space, as you know, is so limited."

She blushed slightly, and Edward, a little disappointed as he was, looked at her with a singular longing, as if he were a scholar confronted with a doubtful hieroglyph, either wholly wonderful or altogether commonplace. Next door children were playing in the garden, playing shrilly, laughing, crying, quarrelling, racing to and fro. Suddenly a clear, pleasant voice sounded from an upper window.

She blushed a bit, and Edward, feeling a little let down, looked at her with a deep yearning, like a scholar faced with an uncertain hieroglyph, which could be completely amazing or just ordinary. Next door, kids were playing in the garden, shouting, laughing, crying, arguing, and running back and forth. Suddenly, a clear, cheerful voice rang out from an upper window.

'Enid! Charles! Come up to my room at once!'

'Enid! Charles! Come to my room right now!'

There was an instant sudden hush. The children's voices died away.

There was an immediate, sudden silence. The children's voices faded out.

'Mrs. Parker is supposed to keep her children in great order,' said Mary. 'Alice was telling me about it the other day. She had been talking to Mrs. Parker's servant. I listened to her without any remark, as I don't think it right to encourage servants'[26] gossip; they always exaggerate everything. And I dare say children often require to be corrected.'

'Mrs. Parker is expected to keep her kids in line,' said Mary. 'Alice was telling me about it the other day. She had been talking to Mrs. Parker's maid. I listened to her without saying anything, since I don't think it's right to encourage servants' [26] gossip; they always exaggerate everything. And I suppose kids often need to be corrected.'

The children were struck silent as if some ghastly terror had seized them.

The children were speechless, as if a terrible fear had taken hold of them.

Darnell fancied that he heard a queer sort of cry from the house, but could not be quite sure. He turned to the other side, where an elderly, ordinary man with a grey moustache was strolling up and down on the further side of his garden. He caught Darnell's eye, and Mrs. Darnell looking towards him at the same moment, he very politely raised his tweed cap. Darnell was surprised to see his wife blushing fiercely.

Darnell thought he heard a strange kind of cry coming from the house, but he wasn't entirely sure. He looked to the other side, where an older, average-looking man with a gray mustache was walking back and forth on the other side of his garden. He caught Darnell's eye, and Mrs. Darnell noticed him at the same time, so he politely tipped his tweed cap. Darnell was taken aback to see his wife blushing intensely.

'Sayce and I often go into the City by the same 'bus,' he said, 'and as it happens we've sat next to each other two or three times lately. I believe he's a traveller for a leather firm in Bermondsey. He struck me as a pleasant man. Haven't they got rather a good-looking servant?'

'Sayce and I often take the same bus into the City,' he said, 'and we've ended up sitting next to each other a couple of times recently. I think he works for a leather company in Bermondsey. He seemed like a nice guy. Don’t they have a pretty good-looking servant?'

'Alice has spoken to me about her—and the Sayces,' said Mrs. Darnell. 'I understand that they are not very well thought of in the neighbourhood. But I must go in and see whether the tea is ready. Alice will be wanting to go out directly.'

'Alice has told me about her—and the Sayces,' said Mrs. Darnell. 'I hear they aren't very well regarded around here. But I have to go in and check if the tea is ready. Alice will want to head out right away.'

Darnell looked after his wife as she walked quickly away. He only dimly understood, but he could see the charm of her figure, the delight of the brown curls clustering about her neck, and he again felt that sense of the scholar confronted by the hieroglyphic. He could not have expressed his emotion, but he wondered whether he would ever find the key, and something told him that before she could speak to him his own lips must be unclosed. She had gone into the house by the back kitchen door, leaving it open, and he heard her[27] speaking to the girl about the water being 'really boiling.' He was amazed, almost indignant with himself; but the sound of the words came to his ears as strange, heart-piercing music, tones from another, wonderful sphere. And yet he was her husband, and they had been married nearly a year; and yet, whenever she spoke, he had to listen to the sense of what she said, constraining himself, lest he should believe she was a magic creature, knowing the secrets of immeasurable delight.

Darnell watched his wife as she hurried away. He only partially understood, but he could see the grace of her figure and the beauty of the brown curls framing her neck, and he felt that sense of a student facing an ancient puzzle. He couldn't put his feelings into words, but he wondered if he'd ever find the answer, and something told him that before she could talk to him, he had to find his own voice. She had gone into the house through the back kitchen door, leaving it open, and he heard her talking to the girl about the water being 'really boiling.' He was shocked, almost frustrated with himself; yet the sound of her words reached him like strange, heart-wrenching music, tones from another, magical world. And still, he was her husband, and they had been married for almost a year; yet, every time she spoke, he had to focus on the meaning of what she said, holding back, lest he start to believe she was some enchantress, knowing the secrets of immense joy.

He looked out through the leaves of the mulberry tree. Mr. Sayce had disappeared from his view, but he saw the light-blue fume of the cigar that he was smoking floating slowly across the shadowed air. He was wondering at his wife's manner when Sayce's name was mentioned, puzzling his head as to what could be amiss in the household of a most respectable personage, when his wife appeared at the dining-room window and called him in to tea. She smiled as he looked up, and he rose hastily and walked in, wondering whether he were not a little 'queer,' so strange were the dim emotions and the dimmer impulses that rose within him.

He looked out through the leaves of the mulberry tree. Mr. Sayce was no longer in sight, but he saw the light-blue smoke from the cigar he was smoking drifting slowly through the shadowed air. He was curious about his wife's reaction when Sayce's name came up, trying to figure out what could be wrong in the home of such a respectable person, when his wife appeared at the dining room window and called him in for tea. She smiled as he looked up, and he quickly got up and walked inside, wondering if he was being a bit strange, given the vague emotions and even vaguer impulses that were stirring inside him.

Alice was all shining purple and strong scent, as she brought in the teapot and the jug of hot water. It seemed that a visit to the kitchen had inspired Mrs. Darnell in her turn with a novel plan for disposing of the famous ten pounds. The range had always been a trouble to her, and when sometimes she went into the kitchen, and found, as she said, the fire 'roaring halfway up the chimney,' it was in vain that she reproved the maid on the ground of extravagance and waste of coal. Alice was ready to admit the absurdity of making up such an enormous fire merely to bake (they[28] called it 'roast') a bit of beef or mutton, and to boil the potatoes and the cabbage; but she was able to show Mrs. Darnell that the fault lay in the defective contrivance of the range, in an oven which 'would not get hot.' Even with a chop or a steak it was almost as bad; the heat seemed to escape up the chimney or into the room, and Mary had spoken several times to her husband on the shocking waste of coal, and the cheapest coal procurable was never less than eighteen shillings the ton. Mr. Darnell had written to the landlord, a builder, who had replied in an illiterate but offensive communication, maintaining the excellence of the stove and charging all the faults to the account of 'your good lady,' which really implied that the Darnells kept no servant, and that Mrs. Darnell did everything. The range, then, remained, a standing annoyance and expense. Every morning, Alice said, she had the greatest difficulty in getting the fire to light at all, and once lighted it 'seemed as if it fled right up the chimney.' Only a few nights before Mrs. Darnell had spoken seriously to her husband about it; she had got Alice to weigh the coals expended in cooking a cottage pie, the dish of the evening, and deducting what remained in the scuttle after the pie was done, it appeared that the wretched thing had consumed nearly twice the proper quantity of fuel.

Alice was bright purple and had a strong fragrance as she brought in the teapot and the jug of hot water. It seemed that a trip to the kitchen had inspired Mrs. Darnell with a new plan for dealing with the famous ten pounds. The stove had always been a hassle for her, and whenever she went into the kitchen and found, as she said, the fire 'roaring halfway up the chimney,' it was useless for her to scold the maid about being extravagant and wasting coal. Alice was willing to agree that it was ridiculous to build such a huge fire just to bake (they called it 'roast') a small piece of beef or mutton, and to boil the potatoes and cabbage; but she could demonstrate to Mrs. Darnell that the problem was the poorly designed stove, specifically an oven that 'would not get hot.' Even with a chop or steak, it was nearly as bad; the heat seemed to escape up the chimney or into the room, and Mary had mentioned several times to her husband about the shocking waste of coal, and the cheapest coal available was never less than eighteen shillings a ton. Mr. Darnell had written to the landlord, a builder, who had responded with an illiterate but offensive message, insisting on the stove's excellence and blaming all the issues on 'your good lady,' which effectively suggested that the Darnells had no servant, and that Mrs. Darnell did everything. So, the stove remained a constant annoyance and expense. Every morning, Alice said she had the hardest time getting the fire to light at all, and once it was lit, it 'seemed to escape right up the chimney.' Just a few nights ago, Mrs. Darnell had seriously talked to her husband about it; she had Alice weigh the coal used in cooking a cottage pie, the dish of the evening, and after subtracting what was left in the scuttle once the pie was finished, it turned out that the miserable stove had consumed nearly twice the amount of fuel it should have.

'You remember what I said the other night about the range?' said Mrs. Darnell, as she poured out the tea and watered the leaves. She thought the introduction a good one, for though her husband was a most amiable man, she guessed that he had been just a little hurt by her decision against his furnishing scheme.

'Do you remember what I said the other night about the range?' Mrs. Darnell asked while pouring the tea and watering the leaves. She thought it was a good way to start the conversation, as even though her husband was a really nice guy, she suspected he felt a bit hurt by her choice not to go along with his furnishing plan.

'The range?' said Darnell. He paused as he helped[29] himself to the marmalade and considered for a moment. 'No, I don't recollect. What night was it?'

'The range?' Darnell asked. He paused while serving himself some marmalade and thought for a moment. 'No, I don't remember. What night was it?'

'Tuesday. Don't you remember? You had "overtime," and didn't get home till quite late.'

'Tuesday. Don’t you remember? You had "overtime," and didn’t get home until pretty late.'

She paused for a moment, blushing slightly; and then began to recapitulate the misdeeds of the range, and the outrageous outlay of coal in the preparation of the cottage pie.

She paused for a moment, blushing slightly; and then began to recount the mistakes of the range and the ridiculous amount of coal used in making the cottage pie.

'Oh, I recollect now. That was the night I thought I heard the nightingale (people say there are nightingales in Bedford Park), and the sky was such a wonderful deep blue.'

'Oh, I remember now. That was the night I thought I heard a nightingale (people say there are nightingales in Bedford Park), and the sky was such a beautiful deep blue.'

He remembered how he had walked from Uxbridge Road Station, where the green 'bus stopped, and in spite of the fuming kilns under Acton, a delicate odour of the woods and summer fields was mysteriously in the air, and he had fancied that he smelt the red wild roses, drooping from the hedge. As he came to his gate he saw his wife standing in the doorway, with a light in her hand, and he threw his arms violently about her as she welcomed him, and whispered something in her ear, kissing her scented hair. He had felt quite abashed a moment afterwards, and he was afraid that he had frightened her by his nonsense; she seemed trembling and confused. And then she had told him how they had weighed the coal.

He remembered how he had walked from Uxbridge Road Station, where the green bus stopped, and despite the smoke from the kilns in Acton, a light scent of the woods and summer fields lingered mysteriously in the air, and he could have sworn he smelled the red wild roses, drooping from the hedge. As he reached his gate, he saw his wife standing in the doorway, holding a light, and he wrapped his arms around her excitedly as she welcomed him, whispering something in her ear and kissing her fragrant hair. He felt a bit embarrassed a moment later, worried that he had startled her with his enthusiasm; she seemed shaken and confused. Then she told him how they had weighed the coal.

'Yes, I remember now,' he said. 'It is a great nuisance, isn't it? I hate to throw away money like that.'

'Yeah, I remember now,' he said. 'It's such a hassle, isn't it? I really hate wasting money like that.'

'Well, what do you think? Suppose we bought a really good range with aunt's money? It would save us a lot, and I expect the things would taste much nicer.'[30]

'So, what do you think? What if we bought a really good stove with Aunt's money? It would save us a lot, and I think the food would taste much better.'[30]

Darnell passed the marmalade, and confessed that the idea was brilliant.

Darnell handed over the marmalade and admitted that the idea was brilliant.

'It's much better than mine, Mary,' he said quite frankly. 'I am so glad you thought of it. But we must talk it over; it doesn't do to buy in a hurry. There are so many makes.'

'It's way better than mine, Mary,' he said honestly. 'I'm really glad you thought of it. But we need to discuss it; it's not wise to make a quick purchase. There are so many brands.'

Each had seen ranges which looked miraculous inventions; he in the neighbourhood of the City; she in Oxford Street and Regent Street, on visits to the dentist. They discussed the matter at tea, and afterwards they discussed it walking round and round the garden, in the sweet cool of the evening.

Each had seen landscapes that seemed like miraculous inventions; he in the area around the City; she on Oxford Street and Regent Street during trips to the dentist. They talked about it over tea, and later, they continued the conversation while strolling round and round the garden in the pleasant cool of the evening.

'They say the "Newcastle" will burn anything, coke even,' said Mary.

"They say the 'Newcastle' can burn anything, even coke," said Mary.

'But the "Glow" got the gold medal at the Paris Exhibition,' said Edward.

'But the "Glow" won the gold medal at the Paris Exhibition,' said Edward.

'But what about the "Eutopia" Kitchener? Have you seen it at work in Oxford Street?' said Mary. 'They say their plan of ventilating the oven is quite unique.'

'But what about the "Eutopia" Kitchener? Have you seen it in action on Oxford Street?' Mary asked. 'I've heard their method of ventilating the oven is really something special.'

'I was in Fleet Street the other day,' answered Edward, 'and I was looking at the "Bliss" Patent Stoves. They burn less fuel than any in the market—so the makers declare.'

'I was in Fleet Street the other day,' Edward replied, 'and I was checking out the "Bliss" Patent Stoves. They use less fuel than any others on the market—at least that's what the makers claim.'

He put his arm gently round her waist. She did not repel him; she whispered quite softly—

He wrapped his arm gently around her waist. She didn't push him away; she whispered very softly—

'I think Mrs. Parker is at her window,' and he drew his arm back slowly.

'I think Mrs. Parker is at her window,' he said, pulling his arm back slowly.

'But we will talk it over,' he said. 'There is no hurry. I might call at some of the places near the City, and you might do the same thing in Oxford Street and Regent Street and Piccadilly, and we could compare notes.'[31]

'But we can discuss it,' he said. 'There's no rush. I could check out some places near the City, and you could do the same on Oxford Street, Regent Street, and Piccadilly, and then we can compare notes.'[31]

Mary was quite pleased with her husband's good temper. It was so nice of him not to find fault with her plan; 'He's so good to me,' she thought, and that was what she often said to her brother, who did not care much for Darnell. They sat down on the seat under the mulberry, close together, and she let Darnell take her hand, and as she felt his shy, hesitating fingers touch her in the shadow, she pressed them ever so softly, and as he fondled her hand, his breath was on her neck, and she heard his passionate, hesitating voice whisper, 'My dear, my dear,' as his lips touched her cheek. She trembled a little, and waited. Darnell kissed her gently on the cheek and drew away his hand, and when he spoke he was almost breathless.

Mary was really happy with her husband’s good mood. It was great of him not to criticize her plan; 'He’s so good to me,' she thought, and that’s what she often told her brother, who didn’t think much of Darnell. They sat down on the bench under the mulberry tree, sitting close together, and she let Darnell take her hand. As she felt his shy, uncertain fingers brushing against hers in the shadow, she pressed them gently, and as he held her hand, his breath was on her neck. She heard his passionate, hesitant voice whisper, 'My dear, my dear,' as his lips brushed her cheek. She trembled a little and waited. Darnell kissed her softly on the cheek and pulled his hand back, and when he spoke, he was almost out of breath.

'We had better go in now,' he said. 'There is a heavy dew, and you might catch cold.'

'We should go inside now,' he said. 'It's getting damp out, and you might catch a cold.'

A warm, scented gale came to them from beyond the walls. He longed to ask her to stay out with him all night beneath the tree, that they might whisper to one another, that the scent of her hair might inebriate him, that he might feel her dress still brushing against his ankles. But he could not find the words, and it was absurd, and she was so gentle that she would do whatever he asked, however foolish it might be, just because he asked her. He was not worthy to kiss her lips; he bent down and kissed her silk bodice, and again he felt that she trembled, and he was ashamed, fearing that he had frightened her.

A warm, fragrant breeze wafted in from outside the walls. He wanted to ask her to stay out with him all night under the tree, so they could whisper to each other, so the scent of her hair could intoxicate him, so he could feel her dress brushing against his ankles. But he couldn’t find the words, and it felt ridiculous, and she was so kind that she would do anything he asked, no matter how silly it might seem, just because he asked. He felt unworthy to kiss her lips; he leaned down and kissed her silk bodice, and once again he sensed that she trembled, making him feel ashamed, worried that he had scared her.

They went slowly into the house, side by side, and Darnell lit the gas in the drawing-room, where they always sat on Sunday evenings. Mrs. Darnell felt a little tired and lay down on the sofa, and Darnell[32] took the arm-chair opposite. For a while they were silent, and then Darnell said suddenly—

They walked slowly into the house, side by side, and Darnell turned on the gas in the living room, where they always sat on Sunday evenings. Mrs. Darnell felt a bit tired and lay down on the sofa, while Darnell took the armchair across from her. For a while, they stayed silent, and then Darnell suddenly said—

'What's wrong with the Sayces? You seemed to think there was something a little strange about them. Their maid looks quite quiet.'

'What's up with the Sayces? You seemed to think there was something a bit off about them. Their maid looks really calm.'

'Oh, I don't know that one ought to pay any attention to servants' gossip. They're not always very truthful.'

'Oh, I don't think it's worth paying attention to what servants say. They're not always very honest.'

'It was Alice told you, wasn't it?'

'It was Alice who told you, right?'

'Yes. She was speaking to me the other day, when I was in the kitchen in the afternoon.'

'Yes. She was talking to me the other day when I was in the kitchen in the afternoon.'

'But what was it?'

'But what was that?'

'Oh, I'd rather not tell you, Edward. It's not pleasant. I scolded Alice for repeating it to me.'

'Oh, I’d prefer not to share, Edward. It’s not nice. I got on Alice’s case for telling me about it.'

Darnell got up and took a small, frail chair near the sofa.

Darnell got up and grabbed a small, wobbly chair next to the sofa.

'Tell me,' he said again, with an odd perversity. He did not really care to hear about the household next door, but he remembered how his wife's cheeks flushed in the afternoon, and now he was looking at her eyes.

'Tell me,' he said again, with a strange stubbornness. He didn't actually want to hear about the family next door, but he remembered how his wife's cheeks would flush in the afternoon, and now he was looking into her eyes.

'Oh, I really couldn't tell you, dear. I should feel ashamed.'

'Oh, I honestly couldn't say, dear. I would feel embarrassed.'

'But you're my wife.'

'But you're my spouse.'

'Yes, but it doesn't make any difference. A woman doesn't like to talk about such things.'

'Yes, but it doesn't matter. A woman doesn't like to discuss stuff like that.'

Darnell bent his head down. His heart was beating; he put his ear to her mouth and said, 'Whisper.'

Darnell lowered his head. His heart was racing; he leaned in close to her mouth and said, 'Whisper.'

Mary drew his head down still lower with her gentle hand, and her cheeks burned as she whispered—

Mary pulled his head down even lower with her gentle hand, and her cheeks flushed as she whispered—

'Alice says that—upstairs—they have only—one room furnished. The maid told her—herself.'

'Alice says that—upstairs—they have just—one room furnished. The maid told her—herself.'

With an unconscious gesture she pressed his head to[33] her breast, and he in turn was bending her red lips to his own, when a violent jangle clamoured through the silent house. They sat up, and Mrs. Darnell went hurriedly to the door.

With a reflexive move, she pulled his head to[33] her chest, and he was leaning in to kiss her red lips, when a loud noise suddenly rang through the quiet house. They sat up, and Mrs. Darnell rushed to the door.

'That's Alice,' she said. 'She is always in in time. It has only just struck ten.'

'That's Alice,' she said. 'She always arrives on time. It just turned ten.'

Darnell shivered with annoyance. His lips, he knew, had almost been opened. Mary's pretty handkerchief, delicately scented from a little flagon that a school friend had given her, lay on the floor, and he picked it up, and kissed it, and hid it away.

Darnell shivered with frustration. He realized that his lips had almost parted. Mary's lovely handkerchief, lightly scented from a little bottle that a school friend had gifted her, lay on the floor. He picked it up, kissed it, and tucked it away.

The question of the range occupied them all through June and far into July. Mrs. Darnell took every opportunity of going to the West End and investigating the capacity of the latest makes, gravely viewing the new improvements and hearing what the shopmen had to say; while Darnell, as he said, 'kept his eyes open' about the City. They accumulated quite a literature of the subject, bringing away illustrated pamphlets, and in the evenings it was an amusement to look at the pictures. They viewed with reverence and interest the drawings of great ranges for hotels and public institutions, mighty contrivances furnished with a series of ovens each for a different use, with wonderful apparatus for grilling, with batteries of accessories which seemed to invest the cook almost with the dignity of a chief engineer. But when, in one of the lists, they encountered the images of little toy 'cottage' ranges, for four pounds, and even for three pounds ten, they grew scornful, on the strength of the eight or ten pound article which they meant to purchase—when the merits of the divers patents had been thoroughly thrashed out.[34]

The question of the range occupied them throughout June and well into July. Mrs. Darnell seized every chance to head to the West End and check out the latest models, seriously considering the new features and listening to what the salespeople had to say. Meanwhile, Darnell claimed he was "keeping his eyes open" around the City. They gathered quite a collection of information on the topic, bringing back illustrated brochures, and in the evenings, they found it entertaining to look at the pictures. They admired the designs of large ranges for hotels and public institutions, impressive systems equipped with multiple ovens for different purposes, complete with amazing grilling tools and an array of accessories that made the cook feel almost like a chief engineer. But when they came across images of small toy "cottage" ranges priced at four pounds, or even three pounds ten, they scoffed, considering their intended eight or ten-pound purchase—once they had thoroughly examined the merits of the various patents.[34]

The 'Raven' was for a long time Mary's favourite. It promised the utmost economy with the highest efficiency, and many times they were on the point of giving the order. But the 'Glow' seemed equally seductive, and it was only £8. 5s. as compared with £9. 7s. 6d., and though the 'Raven' was supplied to the Royal Kitchen, the 'Glow' could show more fervent testimonials from continental potentates.

The 'Raven' was for a long time Mary's favorite. It promised the best efficiency with maximum savings, and many times they were about to place the order. But the 'Glow' was just as tempting, and it cost only £8. 5s. compared to £9. 7s. 6d. Even though the 'Raven' was supplied to the Royal Kitchen, the 'Glow' had more enthusiastic endorsements from European royalty.

It seemed a debate without end, and it endured day after day till that morning, when Darnell woke from the dream of the ancient wood, of the fountains rising into grey vapour beneath the heat of the sun. As he dressed, an idea struck him, and he brought it as a shock to the hurried breakfast, disturbed by the thought of the City 'bus which passed the corner of the street at 9.15.

It felt like a never-ending debate, dragging on day after day until that morning when Darnell woke up from a dream about the old woods, where fountains were sending up gray mist in the heat of the sun. As he got dressed, a thought hit him, and he shared it suddenly over a rushed breakfast, distracted by the thought of the city bus that came by the corner of the street at 9:15.

'I've got an improvement on your plan, Mary,' he said, with triumph. 'Look at that,' and he flung a little book on the table.

"I've got a better idea for your plan, Mary," he said, feeling victorious. "Check this out," and he tossed a small book onto the table.

He laughed. 'It beats your notion all to fits. After all, the great expense is the coal. It's not the stove—at least that's not the real mischief. It's the coal is so dear. And here you are. Look at those oil stoves. They don't burn any coal, but the cheapest fuel in the world—oil; and for two pounds ten you can get a range that will do everything you want.'

He laughed. “It totally beats your idea. After all, the biggest cost is the coal. It’s not the stove—at least that’s not the main problem. It’s that coal is so expensive. And look at you. Check out those oil stoves. They don’t use any coal, just the cheapest fuel in the world—oil; and for two pounds ten, you can get a range that’ll do everything you need.”

'Give me the book,' said Mary, 'and we will talk it over in the evening, when you come home. Must you be going?'

'Give me the book,' Mary said, 'and we can discuss it later tonight when you get home. Do you have to leave now?'

Darnell cast an anxious glance at the clock.

Darnell glanced anxiously at the clock.

'Good-bye,' and they kissed each other seriously and dutifully, and Mary's eyes made Darnell think of those[35] lonely water-pools, hidden in the shadow of the ancient woods.

'Goodbye,' and they kissed each other earnestly and responsibly, and Mary's eyes reminded Darnell of those[35] lonely water pools, concealed in the shade of the old woods.

So, day after day, he lived in the grey phantasmal world, akin to death, that has, somehow, with most of us, made good its claim to be called life. To Darnell the true life would have seemed madness, and when, now and again, the shadows and vague images reflected from its splendour fell across his path, he was afraid, and took refuge in what he would have called the sane 'reality' of common and usual incidents and interests. His absurdity was, perhaps, the more evident, inasmuch as 'reality' for him was a matter of kitchen ranges, of saving a few shillings; but in truth the folly would have been greater if it had been concerned with racing stables, steam yachts, and the spending of many thousand pounds.

So, day after day, he lived in a dull, ghostly world, almost like death, which somehow, for most of us, has managed to claim the title of life. To Darnell, real life would have seemed insane, and when, occasionally, the shadows and vague images reflecting its brilliance crossed his path, he felt scared and sought comfort in what he would call the sane 'reality' of everyday events and interests. His absurdity was probably more obvious since 'reality' for him revolved around kitchen ranges and saving a few bucks; but really, the foolishness would have been even greater if it had involved racehorses, luxury yachts, and spending thousands of pounds.

But so went forth Darnell, day by day, strangely mistaking death for life, madness for sanity, and purposeless and wandering phantoms for true beings. He was sincerely of opinion that he was a City clerk, living in Shepherd's Bush—having forgotten the mysteries and the far-shining glories of the kingdom which was his by legitimate inheritance.

But Darnell went on, day by day, oddly confusing death with life, madness with sanity, and aimless shadows with real beings. He truly believed he was a city clerk living in Shepherd's Bush—having forgotten the mysteries and the distant glories of the kingdom that rightfully belonged to him.

II

All day long a fierce and heavy heat had brooded over the City, and as Darnell neared home he saw the mist lying on all the damp lowlands, wreathed in coils about Bedford Park to the south, and mounting to the west, so that the tower of Acton Church loomed out[36] of a grey lake. The grass in the squares and on the lawns which he overlooked as the 'bus lumbered wearily along was burnt to the colour of dust. Shepherd's Bush Green was a wretched desert, trampled brown, bordered with monotonous poplars, whose leaves hung motionless in air that was still, hot smoke. The foot passengers struggled wearily along the pavements, and the reek of the summer's end mingled with the breath of the brickfields made Darnell gasp, as if he were inhaling the poison of some foul sick-room.

All day long, a fierce and heavy heat hung over the city, and as Darnell got closer to home, he saw the mist lying over the damp lowlands, wrapping around Bedford Park to the south and rising to the west, so that the tower of Acton Church seemed to emerge from a grey lake. The grass in the parks and on the lawns he passed as the bus trudged along was burnt to the color of dust. Shepherd's Bush Green was a miserable desert, trampled brown, lined with monotonous poplars, whose leaves drooped motionless in the still, hot air. The pedestrians trudged wearily along the sidewalks, and the stench of the end of summer mixed with the smell of the brickfields, making Darnell gasp as if he were inhaling the poison from a filthy sickroom.

He made but a slight inroad into the cold mutton that adorned the tea-table, and confessed that he felt rather 'done up' by the weather and the day's work.

He only made a small dent in the cold mutton on the tea table and admitted that he felt pretty worn out from the weather and the day's work.

'I have had a trying day, too,' said Mary. 'Alice has been very queer and troublesome all day, and I have had to speak to her quite seriously. You know I think her Sunday evenings out have a rather unsettling influence on the girl. But what is one to do?'

'I’ve had a tough day too,' said Mary. 'Alice has been really odd and annoying all day, and I had to talk to her quite seriously. You know I think her Sunday nights out have a pretty unsettling effect on her. But what can you do?'

'Has she got a young man?'

'Does she have a boyfriend?'

'Of course: a grocer's assistant from the Goldhawk Road—Wilkin's, you know. I tried them when we settled here, but they were not very satisfactory.'

'Of course: a grocery store assistant from Goldhawk Road—Wilkin's, you know. I tried them when we moved here, but they weren't very good.'

'What do they do with themselves all the evening? They have from five to ten, haven't they?'

'What do they do with themselves all evening? They have from five to ten, right?'

'Yes; five, or sometimes half-past, when the water won't boil. Well, I believe they go for walks usually. Once or twice he has taken her to the City Temple, and the Sunday before last they walked up and down Oxford Street, and then sat in the Park. But it seems that last Sunday they went to tea with his mother at Putney. I should like to tell the old woman what I really think of her.'[37]

'Yeah; five, or sometimes half-past, when the water won't boil. I think they usually go for walks. A couple of times he’s taken her to the City Temple, and the Sunday before last, they walked up and down Oxford Street, then sat in the Park. But it seems that last Sunday they went for tea with his mom at Putney. I’d like to tell the old woman what I really think of her.'[37]

'Why? What happened? Was she nasty to the girl?'

'Why? What happened? Was she mean to the girl?'

'No; that's just it. Before this, she has been very unpleasant on several occasions. When the young man first took Alice to see her—that was in March—the girl came away crying; she told me so herself. Indeed, she said she never wanted to see old Mrs. Murry again; and I told Alice that, if she had not exaggerated things, I could hardly blame her for feeling like that.'

'No; that's the point. Before this, she has been really unpleasant on several occasions. When the young man first took Alice to see her—that was in March—the girl came away crying; she told me that herself. In fact, she said she never wanted to see old Mrs. Murry again; and I told Alice that if she hadn't exaggerated things, I could hardly blame her for feeling that way.'

'Why? What did she cry for?'

'Why? What was she crying about?'

'Well, it seems that the old lady—she lives in quite a small cottage in some Putney back street—was so stately that she would hardly speak. She had borrowed a little girl from some neighbour's family, and had managed to dress her up to imitate a servant, and Alice said nothing could be sillier than to see that mite opening the door, with her black dress and her white cap and apron, and she hardly able to turn the handle, as Alice said. George (that's the young man's name) had told Alice that it was a little bit of a house; but he said the kitchen was comfortable, though very plain and old-fashioned. But, instead of going straight to the back, and sitting by a big fire on the old settle that they had brought up from the country, that child asked for their names (did you ever hear such nonsense?) and showed them into a little poky parlour, where old Mrs. Murry was sitting "like a duchess," by a fireplace full of coloured paper, and the room as cold as ice. And she was so grand that she would hardly speak to Alice.'

'Well, it seems that the elderly woman—she lives in a small cottage on a back street in Putney—was so dignified that she barely said a word. She had borrowed a little girl from a neighbor's family and managed to dress her up to look like a servant, and Alice thought it was ridiculous to see that tiny girl opening the door, in her black dress and white cap and apron, struggling to turn the handle, as Alice noted. George (that's the young man's name) had told Alice that it was a small house; however, he mentioned that the kitchen was cozy, even though it was very simple and old-fashioned. But instead of going straight to the back and sitting by the large fire on the old settle they had brought up from the countryside, that child asked for their names (can you believe such nonsense?) and led them into a cramped little parlor, where old Mrs. Murry was sitting "like a duchess," by a fireplace cluttered with colored paper, and the room was as cold as ice. And she was so impressive that she would hardly speak to Alice.'

'That must have been very unpleasant.'

'That must have been really uncomfortable.'

'Oh, the poor girl had a dreadful time. She began with: "Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Dill. I know so very few persons in service." Alice[38] imitates her mincing way of talking, but I can't do it. And then she went on to talk about her family, how they had farmed their own land for five hundred years—such stuff! George had told Alice all about it: they had had an old cottage with a good strip of garden and two fields somewhere in Essex, and that old woman talked almost as if they had been country gentry, and boasted about the Rector, Dr. Somebody, coming to see them so often, and of Squire Somebody Else always looking them up, as if they didn't visit them out of kindness. Alice told me it was as much as she could do to keep from laughing in Mrs. Murry's face, her young man having told her all about the place, and how small it was, and how the Squire had been so kind about buying it when old Murry died and George was a little boy, and his mother not able to keep things going. However, that silly old woman "laid it on thick," as you say, and the young man got more and more uncomfortable, especially when she went on to speak about marrying in one's own class, and how unhappy she had known young men to be who had married beneath them, giving some very pointed looks at Alice as she talked. And then such an amusing thing happened: Alice had noticed George looking about him in a puzzled sort of way, as if he couldn't make out something or other, and at last he burst out and asked his mother if she had been buying up the neighbours' ornaments, as he remembered the two green cut-glass vases on the mantelpiece at Mrs. Ellis's, and the wax flowers at Miss Turvey's. He was going on, but his mother scowled at him, and upset some books, which he had to pick up; but Alice quite understood she had[39] been borrowing things from her neighbours, just as she had borrowed the little girl, so as to look grander. And then they had tea—water bewitched, Alice calls it—and very thin bread and butter, and rubbishy foreign pastry from the Swiss shop in the High Street—all sour froth and rancid fat, Alice declares. And then Mrs. Murry began boasting again about her family, and snubbing Alice and talking at her, till the girl came away quite furious, and very unhappy, too. I don't wonder at it, do you?'

'Oh, the poor girl had a terrible time. She started with: "Nice to meet you, Miss Dill. I hardly know anyone in service." Alice[38] mimics her pretentious way of speaking, but I can’t pull it off. Then she went on about her family, claiming they had farmed their own land for five hundred years—what nonsense! George had filled Alice in on everything: they had an old cottage with a nice garden and two fields somewhere in Essex, and that old woman talked almost like they were country gentry, bragging about how often the Rector, Dr. Somebody, came to visit and how Squire Somebody Else would always drop by, as if it wasn’t out of kindness. Alice told me it was all she could do not to laugh in Mrs. Murry's face, since her boyfriend had told her all about the place, how small it was, and how kind the Squire had been to buy it when old Murry died, and George was just a little boy, with his mother unable to keep things running. Still, that silly old woman "laid it on thick," as you say, and the young man got more uncomfortable, especially when she started talking about marrying within one’s own class and how unhappy she’d seen young men get for marrying beneath them, giving Alice some very pointed looks as she spoke. Then something amusing happened: Alice noticed George looking around in a puzzled way, as if he was trying to figure something out, and finally he blurted out and asked his mother if she had been buying up the neighbors’ decorations, because he remembered the two green cut-glass vases on Mrs. Ellis’s mantelpiece and the wax flowers at Miss Turvey’s. He was about to continue, but his mother glared at him and knocked over some books, which he had to pick up; but Alice understood she had[39] been borrowing things from her neighbors, just like she had borrowed the little girl, to make herself look fancier. Then they had tea—Alice calls it water bewitched—and very thin bread and butter, with some awful foreign pastries from the Swiss shop on the High Street—all sour froth and rancid fat, Alice claims. After that, Mrs. Murry started bragging again about her family, belittling Alice and talking down to her, until the girl left feeling furious and very unhappy. I can't blame her, can you?'

'It doesn't sound very enjoyable, certainly,' said Darnell, looking dreamily at his wife. He had not been attending very carefully to the subject-matter of her story, but he loved to hear a voice that was incantation in his ears, tones that summoned before him the vision of a magic world.

"It doesn't sound very enjoyable, that's for sure," said Darnell, gazing dreamily at his wife. He hadn't been paying much attention to the details of her story, but he loved to hear her voice—it was like music to him, evoking visions of a magical world.

'And has the young man's mother always been like this?' he said after a long pause, desiring that the music should continue.

'Has the young man's mother always been this way?' he asked after a long pause, wishing the music would keep playing.

'Always, till quite lately, till last Sunday in fact. Of course Alice spoke to George Murry at once, and said, like a sensible girl, that she didn't think it ever answered for a married couple to live with the man's mother, "especially," she went on, "as I can see your mother hasn't taken much of a fancy to me." He told her, in the usual style, it was only his mother's way, that she didn't really mean anything, and so on; but Alice kept away for a long time, and rather hinted, I think, that it might come to having to choose between her and his mother. And so affairs went on all through the spring and summer, and then, just before the August Bank Holiday, George spoke to Alice again[40] about it, and told her how sorry the thought of any unpleasantness made him, and how he wanted his mother and her to get on with each other, and how she was only a bit old-fashioned and queer in her ways, and had spoken very nicely to him about her when there was nobody by. So the long and the short of it was that Alice said she might come with them on the Monday, when they had settled to go to Hampton Court—the girl was always talking about Hampton Court, and wanting to see it. You remember what a beautiful day it was, don't you?'

'Always, until recently, until last Sunday, actually. Of course, Alice spoke to George Murry right away and said, like a sensible person, that she didn’t think it was ever a good idea for a married couple to live with the husband’s mother, “especially,” she added, “since I can see your mother hasn’t taken much of a liking to me.” He told her, in the usual way, that it was just his mother’s style, that she didn’t really mean anything by it, and so on; but Alice stayed away for a long time and hinted, I think, that she might have to choose between him and his mother. And so things went on throughout the spring and summer, and then, just before the August Bank Holiday, George talked to Alice again about it. He told her how sorry he was about any potential awkwardness, how he wanted his mother and her to get along, and how his mom was just a bit old-fashioned and odd in her ways, and had spoken very nicely about her when no one was around. So the bottom line was that Alice said she might come with them on Monday when they planned to go to Hampton Court—the girl was always talking about Hampton Court and wanting to see it. You remember how beautiful the day was, don’t you?'

'Let me see,' said Darnell dreamily. 'Oh yes, of course—I sat out under the mulberry tree all day, and we had our meals there: it was quite a picnic. The caterpillars were a nuisance, but I enjoyed the day very much.' His ears were charmed, ravished with the grave, supernal melody, as of antique song, rather of the first made world in which all speech was descant, and all words were sacraments of might, speaking not to the mind but to the soul. He lay back in his chair, and said—

"Let me think," Darnell said dreamily. "Oh right, I remember—I spent the whole day sitting under the mulberry tree, and we had our meals there; it felt like a picnic. The caterpillars were annoying, but I really enjoyed the day." His ears were captivated, enchanted by the deep, heavenly melody, reminiscent of an ancient song, like the first world where all language was music, and every word was a powerful blessing, speaking not to the intellect but to the soul. He leaned back in his chair and said—

'Well, what happened to them?'

'So, what happened to them?'

'My dear, would you believe it; but that wretched old woman behaved worse than ever. They met as had been arranged, at Kew Bridge, and got places, with a good deal of difficulty, in one of those char-à-banc things, and Alice thought she was going to enjoy herself tremendously. Nothing of the kind. They had hardly said "Good morning," when old Mrs. Murry began to talk about Kew Gardens, and how beautiful it must be there, and how much more convenient it was than Hampton, and no expense at all;[41] just the trouble of walking over the bridge. Then she went on to say, as they were waiting for the char-à-banc, that she had always heard there was nothing to see at Hampton, except a lot of nasty, grimy old pictures, and some of them not fit for any decent woman, let alone girl, to look at, and she wondered why the Queen allowed such things to be shown, putting all kinds of notions into girls' heads that were light enough already; and as she said that she looked at Alice so nastily—horrid old thing—that, as she told me afterwards, Alice would have slapped her face if she hadn't been an elderly woman, and George's mother. Then she talked about Kew again, saying how wonderful the hot-houses were, with palms and all sorts of wonderful things, and a lily as big as a parlour table, and the view over the river. George was very good, Alice told me. He was quite taken aback at first, as the old woman had promised faithfully to be as nice as ever she could be; but then he said, gently but firmly, "Well, mother, we must go to Kew some other day, as Alice has set her heart on Hampton for to-day, and I want to see it myself!" All Mrs. Murry did was to snort, and look at the girl like vinegar, and just then the char-à-banc came up, and they had to scramble for their seats. Mrs. Murry grumbled to herself in an indistinct sort of voice all the way to Hampton Court. Alice couldn't very well make out what she said, but now and then she seemed to hear bits of sentences, like: Pity to grow old, if sons grow bold; and Honour thy father and mother; and Lie on the shelf, said the housewife to the old shoe, and the wicked son to his mother; and I gave you milk and you give me the[42] go-by. Alice thought they must be proverbs (except the Commandment, of course), as George was always saying how old-fashioned his mother is; but she says there were so many of them, and all pointed at her and George, that she thinks now Mrs. Murry must have made them up as they drove along. She says it would be just like her to do it, being old-fashioned, and ill-natured too, and fuller of talk than a butcher on Saturday night. Well, they got to Hampton at last, and Alice thought the place would please her, perhaps, and they might have some enjoyment. But she did nothing but grumble, and out loud too, so that people looked at them, and a woman said, so that they could hear, "Ah well, they'll be old themselves some day," which made Alice very angry, for, as she said, they weren't doing anything. When they showed her the chestnut avenue in Bushey Park, she said it was so long and straight that it made her quite dull to look at it, and she thought the deer (you know how pretty they are, really) looked thin and miserable, as if they would be all the better for a good feed of hog-wash, with plenty of meal in it. She said she knew they weren't happy by the look in their eyes, which seemed to tell her that their keepers beat them. It was the same with everything; she said she remembered market-gardens in Hammersmith and Gunnersbury that had a better show of flowers, and when they took her to the place where the water is, under the trees, she burst out with its being rather hard to tramp her off her legs to show her a common canal, with not so much as a barge on it to liven it up a bit. She went on like that the whole day, and Alice told me she was only[43] too thankful to get home and get rid of her. Wasn't it wretched for the girl?'

'My dear, can you believe it? That awful old woman was worse than ever. They met as planned at Kew Bridge and managed to get seats, which was quite a struggle, in one of those bus-like vehicles, and Alice thought she was going to have a great time. Not at all. They had barely exchanged "Good morning" when old Mrs. Murry started talking about Kew Gardens, how beautiful it must be there, how much more convenient it was than Hampton, and how it didn't cost anything—just the hassle of walking over the bridge. Then she continued, while they were waiting for the bus, that she had always heard there was nothing to see at Hampton but a bunch of grimy old paintings, some that weren't suitable for any decent woman, let alone a girl, and wondered why the Queen allowed such things to be shown, putting all sorts of ideas into girls' heads that were already too light; and as she said this, she looked at Alice so contemptibly—what a horrid old thing—that, as Alice told me later, she would have slapped her if she hadn't been an elderly woman and George's mother. Then she went on about Kew again, saying how amazing the conservatories were, with palms and all kinds of wonderful things, and a lily as big as a dining room table, and the view over the river. George was very patient, Alice told me. He was initially taken aback since the old woman had promised to be as nice as possible; but then he said, gently but firmly, "Well, mother, we have to go to Kew another day, as Alice is set on Hampton for today, and I want to see it too!" All Mrs. Murry did was snort and glare at the girl like she was vinegar, and just then the bus arrived, and they had to scramble for their seats. Mrs. Murry grumbled to herself in a mumble all the way to Hampton Court. Alice couldn’t quite catch what she said, but occasionally she thought she heard bits of sayings, like: Pity to grow old, if sons grow bold; and Honor thy father and mother; and Lie on the shelf, said the housewife to the old shoe, and the wicked son to his mother; and I gave you milk and you give me the go-by. Alice thought they must be proverbs (except for the Commandment, of course), since George was always saying how old-fashioned his mother was; but she thought there were so many, all aimed at her and George, that she now thinks Mrs. Murry must have made them up as they drove along. She thinks it would be just like her to do that, being old-fashioned, and ill-natured too, and more talkative than a butcher on Saturday night. Well, they finally arrived at Hampton, and Alice thought the place might please her, and maybe they could enjoy themselves. But she just kept complaining, and loudly too, so people started looking at them, and a woman said, loud enough for them to hear, "Ah well, they'll be old themselves one day," which made Alice really mad, because, as she said, they weren’t doing anything. When they showed her the chestnut avenue in Bushey Park, she said it was so long and straight that it made her feel dull just looking at it, and she thought the deer (you know how pretty they actually are) looked thin and miserable, as if a good meal of hog food would do them good. She said she could tell they weren't happy just by the look in their eyes, which seemed to her to say their keepers beat them. It was the same with everything; she said she remembered market gardens in Hammersmith and Gunnersbury that had a better display of flowers, and when they took her to the spot by the water, under the trees, she complained that it was pretty harsh to drag her there to see a common canal, with not even a barge on it to spice things up. She went on like that all day, and Alice told me she was just too relieved to get home and be rid of her. Wasn't it miserable for the girl?'

'It must have been, indeed. But what happened last Sunday?'

'It must have been, for sure. But what happened last Sunday?'

'That's the most extraordinary thing of all. I noticed that Alice was rather queer in her manner this morning; she was a longer time washing up the breakfast things, and she answered me quite sharply when I called to her to ask when she would be ready to help me with the wash; and when I went into the kitchen to see about something, I noticed that she was going about her work in a sulky sort of way. So I asked her what was the matter, and then it all came out. I could scarcely believe my own ears when she mumbled out something about Mrs. Murry thinking she could do very much better for herself; but I asked her one question after another till I had it all out of her. It just shows one how foolish and empty-headed these girls are. I told her she was no better than a weather-cock. If you will believe me, that horrid old woman was quite another person when Alice went to see her the other night. Why, I can't think, but so she was. She told the girl how pretty she was; what a neat figure she had; how well she walked; and how she'd known many a girl not half so clever or well-looking earning her twenty-five or thirty pounds a year, and with good families. She seems to have gone into all sorts of details, and made elaborate calculations as to what she would be able to save, "with decent folks, who don't screw, and pinch, and lock up everything in the house," and then she went off into a lot of hypocritical nonsense about how fond she was of Alice, and[44] how she could go to her grave in peace, knowing how happy her dear George would be with such a good wife, and about her savings from good wages helping to set up a little home, ending up with "And, if you take an old woman's advice, deary, it won't be long before you hear the marriage bells."'

'That's the most amazing thing of all. I noticed that Alice was acting pretty strange this morning; she took a long time doing the breakfast dishes, and she responded a bit harshly when I asked her when she'd be ready to help me with the laundry. When I went into the kitchen to check on something, I saw she was doing her work in a moody way. So I asked her what was wrong, and then everything came out. I could hardly believe my ears when she mumbled something about Mrs. Murry thinking she could do way better for herself; but I kept asking her questions until I got everything out of her. It just shows how silly and shallow these girls can be. I told her she was no better than a weather vane. If you can believe it, that awful old woman was completely different when Alice visited her the other night. I can't explain it, but she was. She told the girl how pretty she was, what a nice figure she had, how well she walked, and how she'd seen many girls who weren't half as clever or good-looking making twenty-five or thirty pounds a year, and from good families. She seemed to go into all sorts of details, making elaborate calculations about what Alice could save, "with decent folks, who don't pinch pennies and lock up everything in the house," and then she went off into a lot of hypocritical nonsense about how much she cared for Alice, and how she could die in peace knowing how happy her dear George would be with such a great wife, and how her savings from good wages would help set up a little home, finishing with "And, if you take an old woman's advice, dearie, it won't be long before you hear wedding bells."'

'I see,' said Darnell; 'and the upshot of it all is, I suppose, that the girl is thoroughly dissatisfied?'

"I see," said Darnell. "So, the bottom line is that the girl is completely unhappy?"

'Yes, she is so young and silly. I talked to her, and reminded her of how nasty old Mrs. Murry had been, and told her that she might change her place and change for the worse. I think I have persuaded her to think it over quietly, at all events. Do you know what it is, Edward? I have an idea. I believe that wicked old woman is trying to get Alice to leave us, that she may tell her son how changeable she is; and I suppose she would make up some of her stupid old proverbs: "A changeable wife, a troublesome life," or some nonsense of the kind. Horrid old thing!'

'Yeah, she's really young and naive. I spoke with her and reminded her how cruel old Mrs. Murry had been, and I told her she might end up in a worse situation if she switched. I think I've convinced her to think it over quietly, at least. Do you know what it is, Edward? I've got a thought. I actually think that nasty old woman is trying to get Alice to leave us so she can tell her son how unreliable she is; and I'm sure she’d come up with some of her ridiculous old sayings: "An unsteady wife brings a troubled life," or something equally silly. What a dreadful old woman!'

'Well, well,' said Darnell, 'I hope she won't go, for your sake. It would be such a bother for you, hunting for a fresh servant.'

'Well, well,' said Darnell, 'I hope she doesn't leave, for your sake. It would be such a hassle for you to find a new servant.'

He refilled his pipe and smoked placidly, refreshed somewhat after the emptiness and the burden of the day. The French window was wide open, and now at last there came a breath of quickening air, distilled by the night from such trees as still wore green in that arid valley. The song to which Darnell had listened in rapture, and now the breeze, which even in that dry, grim suburb still bore the word of the woodland, had summoned the dream to his eyes, and he meditated over matters that his lips could not express.[45]

He refilled his pipe and smoked calmly, feeling a bit renewed after the emptiness and weight of the day. The French window was wide open, and finally, a refreshing breath of air came in, carried by the night from the trees that still had green leaves in that dry valley. The song Darnell had listened to with delight, and now the breeze, which even in that dry, harsh suburb still carried the essence of the forest, had sparked a dream in his mind, and he thought about things his lips couldn't put into words.[45]

'She must, indeed, be a villainous old woman,' he said at length.

'She must really be a wicked old woman,' he finally said.

'Old Mrs. Murry? Of course she is; the mischievous old thing! Trying to take the girl from a comfortable place where she is happy.'

'Old Mrs. Murry? Of course she is; that mischievous old lady! Trying to take the girl away from a comfortable place where she is happy.'

'Yes; and not to like Hampton Court! That shows how bad she must be, more than anything.'

'Yeah; and not to like Hampton Court! That really shows how bad she must be, more than anything.'

'It is beautiful, isn't it?'

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

'I shall never forget the first time I saw it. It was soon after I went into the City; the first year. I had my holidays in July, and I was getting such a small salary that I couldn't think of going away to the seaside, or anything like that. I remember one of the other men wanted me to come with him on a walking tour in Kent. I should have liked that, but the money wouldn't run to it. And do you know what I did? I lived in Great College Street then, and the first day I was off, I stayed in bed till past dinner-time, and lounged about in an arm-chair with a pipe all the afternoon. I had got a new kind of tobacco—one and four for the two-ounce packet—much dearer than I could afford to smoke, and I was enjoying it immensely. It was awfully hot, and when I shut the window and drew down the red blind it grew hotter; at five o'clock the room was like an oven. But I was so pleased at not having to go into the City, that I didn't mind anything, and now and again I read bits from a queer old book that had belonged to my poor dad. I couldn't make out what a lot of it meant, but it fitted in somehow, and I read and smoked till tea-time. Then I went out for a walk, thinking I should be better for a little fresh air before I went to bed; and I went wandering away,[46] not much noticing where I was going, turning here and there as the fancy took me. I must have gone miles and miles, and a good many of them round and round, as they say they do in Australia if they lose their way in the bush; and I am sure I couldn't have gone exactly the same way all over again for any money. Anyhow, I was still in the streets when the twilight came on, and the lamp-lighters were trotting round from one lamp to another. It was a wonderful night: I wish you had been there, my dear.'

'I will never forget the first time I saw it. It was soon after I started working in the City, during my first year. I had my vacation in July, and I was earning such a low salary that I couldn't afford to go to the beach or anything like that. I remember one of the other guys invited me to join him on a walking tour in Kent. I would have liked that, but the money just wouldn't stretch. And do you know what I did? I was living in Great College Street at the time, and on my first day off, I stayed in bed until after lunchtime and lounged in an armchair with a pipe for the whole afternoon. I had bought a new type of tobacco—one shilling and four pence for a two-ounce packet—much more expensive than I could usually afford to smoke, and I was enjoying it so much. It was really hot, and when I shut the window and pulled down the red blind, it got even hotter; by five o'clock, the room felt like an oven. But I was so happy not to be going into the City that I didn’t mind at all, and now and then I read bits from a strange old book that had belonged to my poor dad. I couldn’t understand a lot of it, but it seemed to fit somehow, and I read and smoked until tea time. After that, I went out for a walk, thinking I would feel better with a bit of fresh air before heading to bed; I wandered off, not really paying attention to where I was going, turning this way and that as I felt like it. I must have walked for miles and miles, a lot of it going in circles, like they say people do in Australia when they get lost in the bush; I'm sure I couldn't retrace my steps exactly for any amount of money. Anyway, I was still in the streets when twilight fell and the lamplighters were moving from one lamp to the next. It was a beautiful night; I wish you had been there, my dear.'

'I was quite a little girl then.'

'I was just a little girl back then.'

'Yes, I suppose you were. Well, it was a wonderful night. I remember, I was walking in a little street of little grey houses all alike, with stucco copings and stucco door-posts; there were brass plates on a lot of the doors, and one had "Maker of Shell Boxes" on it, and I was quite pleased, as I had often wondered where those boxes and things that you buy at the seaside came from. A few children were playing about in the road with some rubbish or other, and men were singing in a small public-house at the corner, and I happened to look up, and I noticed what a wonderful colour the sky had turned. I have seen it since, but I don't think it has ever been quite what it was that night, a dark blue, glowing like a violet, just as they say the sky looks in foreign countries. I don't know why, but the sky or something made me feel quite queer; everything seemed changed in a way I couldn't understand. I remember, I told an old gentleman I knew then—a friend of my poor father's, he's been dead for five years, if not more—about how I felt, and he looked at me and said something about fairyland; I don't know what he meant, and I dare say I didn't[47] explain myself properly. But, do you know, for a moment or two I felt as if that little back street was beautiful, and the noise of the children and the men in the public-house seemed to fit in with the sky and become part of it. You know that old saying about "treading on air" when one is glad! Well, I really felt like that as I walked, not exactly like air, you know, but as if the pavement was velvet or some very soft carpet. And then—I suppose it was all my fancy—the air seemed to smell sweet, like the incense in Catholic churches, and my breath came queer and catchy, as it does when one gets very excited about anything. I felt altogether stranger than I've ever felt before or since.'

'Yes, I guess you were. Well, it was a beautiful night. I remember walking down a small street lined with identical grey houses, each with stucco tops and door frames; many doors had brass plates on them, and one read "Maker of Shell Boxes." I felt quite pleased because I’d often wondered where those boxes and seaside trinkets came from. A few kids were playing in the street with some junk, and men were singing in a small pub at the corner. I happened to glance up and noticed how stunning the sky had become. I've seen it since, but it’s never been quite like that night—this dark blue, glowing like a violet, just as they say it looks in foreign countries. I don't know why, but the sky or something about it made me feel a bit strange; everything seemed different in a way I couldn’t grasp. I remember telling an old gentleman I knew back then—a friend of my late father, who passed away over five years ago—about how I felt, and he looked at me and mentioned something about fairyland; I didn’t really understand what he meant, and I probably didn’t explain myself very well. But, you know, for a moment or two, I felt as if that little back street was beautiful, and the noise of the children and the men in the pub seemed to blend in with the sky and become part of it. You know that old saying about "treading on air" when you're happy? Well, I actually felt like that as I walked—not exactly like air, but as if the ground was velvet or some really soft carpet. And then—I guess it was all in my head—the air smelled sweet, like the incense in Catholic churches, and my breath came out funny and short, like when you get really excited about something. I felt completely stranger than I ever have before or since.'

Darnell stopped suddenly and looked up at his wife. She was watching him with parted lips, with eager, wondering eyes.

Darnell suddenly stopped and looked up at his wife. She was watching him with slightly open lips and eager, curious eyes.

'I hope I'm not tiring you, dear, with all this story about nothing. You have had a worrying day with that stupid girl; hadn't you better go to bed?'

'I hope I'm not boring you, dear, with all this story about nothing. You've had a stressful day with that annoying girl; shouldn't you go to bed?'

'Oh, no, please, Edward. I'm not a bit tired now. I love to hear you talk like that. Please go on.'

'Oh, no, please, Edward. I'm not tired at all right now. I love hearing you talk like that. Please keep going.'

'Well, after I had walked a bit further, that queer sort of feeling seemed to fade away. I said a bit further, and I really thought I had been walking about five minutes, but I had looked at my watch just before I got into that little street, and when I looked at it again it was eleven o'clock. I must have done about eight miles. I could scarcely believe my own eyes, and I thought my watch must have gone mad; but I found out afterwards it was perfectly right. I couldn't make it out, and I can't now; I assure you the time passed as if I walked up one side of Edna Road and[48] down the other. But there I was, right in the open country, with a cool wind blowing on me from a wood, and the air full of soft rustling sounds, and notes of birds from the bushes, and the singing noise of a little brook that ran under the road. I was standing on the bridge when I took out my watch and struck a wax light to see the time; and it came upon me suddenly what a strange evening it had been. It was all so different, you see, to what I had been doing all my life, particularly for the year before, and it almost seemed as if I couldn't be the man who had been going into the City every day in the morning and coming back from it every evening after writing a lot of uninteresting letters. It was like being pitched all of a sudden from one world into another. Well, I found my way back somehow or other, and as I went along I made up my mind how I'd spend my holiday. I said to myself, "I'll have a walking tour as well as Ferrars, only mine is to be a tour of London and its environs," and I had got it all settled when I let myself into the house about four o'clock in the morning, and the sun was shining, and the street almost as still as the wood at midnight!'

'Well, after I walked a bit further, that strange feeling seemed to fade away. I walked a bit more, and I really thought I had been walking for about five minutes, but I had checked my watch just before I entered that little street, and when I looked at it again, it was eleven o'clock. I must have covered about eight miles. I could hardly believe my own eyes, and I thought my watch must be broken; but I found out later it was perfectly accurate. I couldn’t figure it out, and I still can’t; it felt like I walked up one side of Edna Road and[48] down the other. But there I was, right in the countryside, with a cool breeze blowing from a wood, the air filled with soft rustling sounds, bird songs from the bushes, and the gentle noise of a little brook flowing beneath the road. I was standing on the bridge when I pulled out my watch and struck a match to check the time; and it struck me suddenly how strange the evening had been. It was all so different, compared to what I had been doing all my life, especially for the year before, and it almost felt like I couldn’t be the same man who went into the City every morning and returned every evening after writing a bunch of dull letters. It was like being suddenly thrown from one world into another. Well, I managed to find my way back somehow, and as I walked, I decided how I’d spend my holiday. I said to myself, "I’ll go on a walking tour just like Ferrars, but mine will be a tour of London and its surroundings," and I had everything all planned out when I let myself into the house around four o'clock in the morning, and the sun was shining, with the street almost as quiet as the woods at midnight!'

'I think that was a capital idea of yours. Did you have your tour? Did you buy a map of London?'

'I think that was a great idea of yours. Did you go on your tour? Did you get a map of London?'

'I had the tour all right. I didn't buy a map; that would have spoilt it, somehow; to see everything plotted out, and named, and measured. What I wanted was to feel that I was going where nobody had been before. That's nonsense, isn't it? as if there could be any such places in London, or England either, for the matter of that.'[49]

'I had the tour all figured out. I didn't get a map; that would have ruined it, somehow; to see everything laid out, labeled, and measured. What I wanted was to feel like I was going to places where nobody had been before. That’s pretty silly, isn’t it? As if there could be any such places in London, or anywhere in England for that matter.'[49]

'I know what you mean; you wanted to feel as if you were going on a sort of voyage of discovery. Isn't that it?'

'I get what you're saying; you wanted to feel like you were embarking on a journey of exploration. Is that right?'

'Exactly, that's what I was trying to tell you. Besides, I didn't want to buy a map. I made a map.'

'Exactly, that's what I was trying to tell you. Plus, I didn't want to buy a map. I created one.'

'How do you mean? Did you make a map out of your head?'

'What do you mean? Did you create a map from your imagination?'

'I'll tell you about it afterwards. But do you really want to hear about my grand tour?'

'I'll tell you about it later. But do you really want to hear about my big trip?'

'Of course I do; it must have been delightful. I call it a most original idea.'

'Of course I do; it must have been amazing. I think it's a really unique idea.'

'Well, I was quite full of it, and what you said just now about a voyage of discovery reminds me of how I felt then. When I was a boy I was awfully fond of reading of great travellers—I suppose all boys are—and of sailors who were driven out of their course and found themselves in latitudes where no ship had ever sailed before, and of people who discovered wonderful cities in strange countries; and all the second day of my holidays I was feeling just as I used to when I read these books. I didn't get up till pretty late. I was tired to death after all those miles I had walked; but when I had finished my breakfast and filled my pipe, I had a grand time of it. It was such nonsense, you know; as if there could be anything strange or wonderful in London.'

"Well, I was really into it, and what you just said about a journey of discovery reminds me of how I felt back then. When I was a kid, I loved reading about great explorers—I guess all boys do—and about sailors who got off course and ended up in places where no ship had ever been, and about people who found amazing cities in unfamiliar countries; and during the second day of my holidays, I felt just like I did when I read those books. I didn’t get out of bed until pretty late. I was completely exhausted after all those miles I had walked; but once I finished my breakfast and lit my pipe, I had a fantastic time. It was such nonsense, you know; as if there could be anything strange or amazing in London."

'Why shouldn't there be?'

'Why not?'

'Well, I don't know; but I have thought afterwards what a silly lad I must have been. Anyhow, I had a great day of it, planning what I would do, half making-believe—just like a kid—that I didn't know where I might find myself, or what might happen to me. And[50] I was enormously pleased to think it was all my secret, that nobody else knew anything about it, and that, whatever I might see, I would keep to myself. I had always felt like that about the books. Of course, I loved reading them, but it seemed to me that, if I had been a discoverer, I would have kept my discoveries a secret. If I had been Columbus, and, if it could possibly have been managed, I would have found America all by myself, and never have said a word about it to anybody. Fancy! how beautiful it would be to be walking about in one's own town, and talking to people, and all the while to have the thought that one knew of a great world beyond the seas, that nobody else dreamed of. I should have loved that!

'Well, I don’t really know; but I’ve thought later about what a foolish kid I must have been. Anyway, I had a fantastic day imagining what I would do, half pretending—just like a child—that I had no idea where I might end up, or what might happen to me. And[50] I was really excited to think it was all my secret, that no one else knew anything about it, and that, no matter what I might see, I would keep it to myself. I had always felt that way about books. Of course, I loved reading them, but it seemed to me that, if I had been an explorer, I would have kept my discoveries a secret. If I had been Columbus, and if it could have possibly worked out, I would have found America all by myself and never said a word about it to anyone. Imagine! How amazing it would be to walk around in your own town, talking to people, while secretly knowing about a vast world beyond the oceans that no one else could even dream of. I would have loved that!

'And that is exactly what I felt about the tour I was going to make. I made up my mind that nobody should know; and so, from that day to this, nobody has heard a word of it.'

'And that’s exactly how I felt about the tour I was about to take. I decided that nobody should know; and so, from that day until now, no one has heard a word about it.'

'But you are going to tell me?'

'But you are going to tell me?'

'You are different. But I don't think even you will hear everything; not because I won't, but because I can't tell many of the things I saw.'

'You are different. But I don’t think even you will hear everything; not because I won’t, but because I can’t share many of the things I witnessed.'

'Things you saw? Then you really did see wonderful, strange things in London?'

'Things you saw? So you actually saw amazing, unusual things in London?'

'Well, I did and I didn't. Everything, or pretty nearly everything, that I saw is standing still, and hundreds of thousands of people have looked at the same sights—there were many places that the fellows in the office knew quite well, I found out afterwards. And then I read a book called "London and its Surroundings." But (I don't know how it is) neither the men at the office nor the writers of the book seem to have seen the things that I did. That's why I stopped[51] reading the book; it seemed to take the life, the real heart, out of everything, making it as dry and stupid as the stuffed birds in a museum.

'Well, I did and I didn't. Everything, or almost everything, I saw is just as it is, and hundreds of thousands of people have looked at the same sights—there were many places that the guys in the office knew pretty well, I found out later. Then I read a book called "London and its Surroundings." But (I don't know how this works) neither the guys at the office nor the authors of the book seem to have seen the things I experienced. That's why I stopped reading the book; it seemed to drain the life, the real essence, out of everything, making it as dry and dull as the stuffed birds in a museum.[51]

'I thought about what I was going to do all that day, and went to bed early, so as to be fresh. I knew wonderfully little about London, really; though, except for an odd week now and then, I had spent all my life in town. Of course I knew the main streets—the Strand, Regent Street, Oxford Street, and so on—and I knew the way to the school I used to go to when I was a boy, and the way into the City. But I had just kept to a few tracks, as they say the sheep do on the mountains; and that made it all the easier for me to imagine that I was going to discover a new world.'

'I thought about what I was going to do all day and went to bed early to be fresh. I really didn’t know much about London, even though I had spent most of my life there, aside from the occasional week away. I was familiar with the main streets—the Strand, Regent Street, Oxford Street, and so on—and I knew how to get to the school I attended as a boy and how to navigate into the City. But I had mostly stuck to a few familiar routes, like how sheep follow certain paths on the mountains; that made it easier for me to imagine that I was going to discover a whole new world.'

Darnell paused in the stream of his talk. He looked keenly at his wife to see if he were wearying her, but her eyes gazed at him with unabated interest—one would have almost said that they were the eyes of one who longed and half expected to be initiated into the mysteries, who knew not what great wonder was to be revealed. She sat with her back to the open window, framed in the sweet dusk of the night, as if a painter had made a curtain of heavy velvet behind her; and the work that she had been doing had fallen to the floor. She supported her head with her two hands placed on each side of her brow, and her eyes were as the wells in the wood of which Darnell dreamed in the night-time and in the day.

Darnell paused in his speech. He looked closely at his wife to see if he was boring her, but her eyes were fixed on him with genuine interest—one might have thought they were the eyes of someone eager and almost expecting to be let in on a secret, unaware of the incredible surprise that awaited. She sat with her back to the open window, framed in the soft twilight of the night, as if a painter had draped a heavy velvet curtain behind her; the work she had been doing lay on the floor. She rested her head on her hands, which were placed on either side of her forehead, and her eyes were like the wells in the woods that Darnell dreamed about both at night and during the day.

'And all the strange tales I had ever heard were in my head that morning,' he went on, as if continuing the thoughts that had filled his mind while his lips were silent. 'I had gone to bed early, as I told you, to get a thorough rest, and I had set my alarum clock to wake[52] me at three, so that I might set out at an hour that was quite strange for the beginning of a journey. There was a hush in the world when I awoke, before the clock had rung to arouse me, and then a bird began to sing and twitter in the elm tree that grew in the next garden, and I looked out of the window, and everything was still, and the morning air breathed in pure and sweet, as I had never known it before. My room was at the back of the house, and most of the gardens had trees in them, and beyond these trees I could see the backs of the houses of the next street rising like the wall of an old city; and as I looked the sun rose, and the great light came in at my window, and the day began.

"And all the strange stories I'd ever heard were in my head that morning," he continued, as if picking up the thoughts that had filled his mind while he hadn’t spoken. "I had gone to bed early, as I mentioned, to get a good rest, and I set my alarm clock to wake me at three so I could start my journey at a really unusual hour. There was a quiet stillness in the world when I woke up, before the clock rang to wake me, and then a bird started to sing and chirp in the elm tree in the next garden. I looked out the window, and everything was calm, with the morning air feeling pure and sweet like I had never experienced before. My room was at the back of the house, and most of the gardens had trees. Beyond those trees, I could see the back of the houses on the next street rising like the wall of an ancient city; and as I watched, the sun rose, flooding my window with light, and the day began."

'And I found that when I was once out of the streets just about me that I knew, some of the queer feeling that had come to me two days before came back again. It was not nearly so strong, the streets no longer smelt of incense, but still there was enough of it to show me what a strange world I passed by. There were things that one may see again and again in many London streets: a vine or a fig tree on a wall, a lark singing in a cage, a curious shrub blossoming in a garden, an odd shape of a roof, or a balcony with an uncommon-looking trellis-work in iron. There's scarcely a street, perhaps, where you won't see one or other of such things as these; but that morning they rose to my eyes in a new light, as if I had on the magic spectacles in the fairy tale, and just like the man in the fairy tale, I went on and on in the new light. I remember going through wild land on a high place; there were pools of water shining in the sun, and great white houses in the middle[53] of dark, rocking pines, and then on the turn of the height I came to a little lane that went aside from the main road, a lane that led to a wood, and in the lane was a little old shadowed house, with a bell turret in the roof, and a porch of trellis-work all dim and faded into the colour of the sea; and in the garden there were growing tall, white lilies, just as we saw them that day we went to look at the old pictures; they were shining like silver, and they filled the air with their sweet scent. It was from near that house I saw the valley and high places far away in the sun. So, as I say, I went "on and on," by woods and fields, till I came to a little town on the top of a hill, a town full of old houses bowing to the ground beneath their years, and the morning was so still that the blue smoke rose up straight into the sky from all the roof-tops, so still that I heard far down in the valley the song of a boy who was singing an old song through the streets as he went to school, and as I passed through the awakening town, beneath the old, grave houses, the church bells began to ring.

'And I realized that once I was out of the familiar streets around me, some of the strange feelings I had experienced two days earlier returned. It wasn't nearly as intense; the streets no longer smelled of incense, but there was still enough to make me aware of the odd world I was passing through. There were sights you might see again and again in many streets of London: a vine or fig tree climbing a wall, a lark singing in a cage, an unusual bush blooming in a garden, a uniquely shaped roof, or a balcony with an interesting iron trellis. You could probably find one or another of these things in almost any street; but that morning, they appeared to me in a new way, as if I were wearing magical glasses from a fairy tale, and, just like the character in the story, I continued on in this new light. I remember walking through wild land on a high point; there were pools of water sparkling in the sun and large white houses nestled among dark, swaying pines. Then, at the bend in the elevation, I discovered a narrow lane branching off the main road, leading to a wood, and there was a little old shaded house with a bell tower on the roof and a trellis-covered porch, all faded to the color of the sea. In the garden, tall white lilies were blooming, just like those we admired on the day we checked out the old paintings; they shone like silver and filled the air with their sweet fragrance. From near that house, I could see the valley and distant highlands glimmering in the sunlight. So, as I mentioned, I kept going through woods and fields until I arrived at a small town on the top of a hill, filled with old houses that seemed to bow under their age. The morning was so calm that the blue smoke rose straight up into the sky from all the rooftops. It was so quiet that I could hear a boy singing an old song as he walked to school down in the valley. As I passed through the waking town, beneath those solemn old houses, the church bells began to ring.'

'It was soon after I had left this town behind me that I found the Strange Road. I saw it branching off from the dusty high road, and it looked so green that I turned aside into it, and soon I felt as if I had really come into a new country. I don't know whether it was one of the roads the old Romans made that my father used to tell me about; but it was covered with deep, soft turf, and the great tall hedges on each side looked as if they had not been touched for a hundred years; they had grown so broad and high and wild that they met overhead, and I could only get glimpses here and there of the country through which I was passing,[54] as one passes in a dream. The Strange Road led me on and on, up and down hill; sometimes the rose bushes had grown so thick that I could scarcely make my way between them, and sometimes the road broadened out into a green, and in one valley a brook, spanned by an old wooden bridge, ran across it. I was tired, and I found a soft and shady place beneath an ash tree, where I must have slept for many hours, for when I woke up it was late in the afternoon. So I went on again, and at last the green road came out into the highway, and I looked up and saw another town on a high place with a great church in the middle of it, and when I went up to it there was a great organ sounding from within, and the choir was singing.'

It wasn't long after I left this town that I discovered the Strange Road. It branched off from the dusty main road, and it looked so lush that I decided to take a detour. Before long, it felt like I had entered a whole new land. I’m not sure if it was one of the roads my dad used to tell me about that the ancient Romans built, but it was covered in deep, soft grass, and the tall hedges on either side seemed untouched for a century; they had grown so wide and tall that they met overhead, and I could only catch glimpses of the countryside around me, like passing through a dream.[54] The Strange Road wound on and on, going up and down hills; at times the rose bushes were so dense I could barely squeeze through, and other times the path opened up into a clearing, where a brook flowed through a valley, crossed by an old wooden bridge. I was tired, so I found a soft, shady spot under an ash tree and must have dozed off for hours, because when I woke up, it was late afternoon. I continued onward, and eventually the green road led back to the main highway. I looked up and saw another town perched on a hill with a large church in the center, and as I approached, the sound of a grand organ filled the air, along with the choir's singing.

There was a rapture in Darnell's voice as he spoke, that made his story well-nigh swell into a song, and he drew a long breath as the words ended, filled with the thought of that far-off summer day, when some enchantment had informed all common things, transmuting them into a great sacrament, causing earthly works to glow with the fire and the glory of the everlasting light.

There was a joy in Darnell's voice as he spoke, which made his story almost turn into a song, and he took a deep breath when he finished, filled with the memory of that long-ago summer day, when some magic had infused all ordinary things, transforming them into a beautiful ritual, making earthly works shine with the warmth and glory of eternal light.

And some splendour of that light shone on the face of Mary as she sat still against the sweet gloom of the night, her dark hair making her face more radiant. She was silent for a little while, and then she spoke—

And some of that light's beauty reflected on Mary's face as she sat quietly in the gentle darkness of the night, her dark hair making her face even more radiant. She was quiet for a moment, and then she spoke—

'Oh, my dear, why have you waited so long to tell me these wonderful things? I think it is beautiful. Please go on.'

'Oh, my dear, why did you wait so long to share these amazing things with me? I think it’s beautiful. Please continue.'

'I have always been afraid it was all nonsense,' said Darnell. 'And I don't know how to explain what I feel. I didn't think I could say so much as I have to-night.'[55]

'I have always been scared it was all just nonsense,' said Darnell. 'And I can't really explain how I feel. I didn't think I could say as much as I have tonight.'[55]

'And did you find it the same day after day?'

'Did you find it the same every day?'

'All through the tour? Yes, I think every journey was a success. Of course, I didn't go so far afield every day; I was too tired. Often I rested all day long, and went out in the evening, after the lamps were lit, and then only for a mile or two. I would roam about old, dim squares, and hear the wind from the hills whispering in the trees; and when I knew I was within call of some great glittering street, I was sunk in the silence of ways where I was almost the only passenger, and the lamps were so few and faint that they seemed to give out shadows instead of light. And I would walk slowly, to and fro, perhaps for an hour at a time, in such dark streets, and all the time I felt what I told you about its being my secret—that the shadow, and the dim lights, and the cool of the evening, and trees that were like dark low clouds were all mine, and mine alone, that I was living in a world that nobody else knew of, into which no one could enter.

'All through the tour? Yes, I think every trip was a success. Of course, I didn’t venture too far every day; I was too tired. Often, I just rested all day and went out in the evening, after the lights were on, and then only for a mile or two. I would wander around old, dim squares, listening to the wind from the hills whispering in the trees; and when I sensed I was near some bright, bustling street, I found myself in the quiet of paths where I was almost the only person around, and the lights were so few and faint that they seemed to cast shadows instead of illumination. I would stroll slowly, back and forth, maybe for an hour at a time in those dark streets, and all the while I felt what I mentioned about it being my secret—that the shadows, the dim lights, the coolness of the evening, and trees resembling dark, low clouds were all mine, and mine alone, that I was living in a world that nobody else knew about, one that no one could enter.'

'I remembered one night I had gone farther. It was somewhere in the far west, where there are orchards and gardens, and great broad lawns that slope down to trees by the river. A great red moon rose that night through mists of sunset, and thin, filmy clouds, and I wandered by a road that passed through the orchards, till I came to a little hill, with the moon showing above it glowing like a great rose. Then I saw figures pass between me and the moon, one by one, in a long line, each bent double, with great packs upon their shoulders. One of them was singing, and then in the middle of the song I heard a horrible shrill laugh, in the thin cracked voice of a very old woman,[56] and they disappeared into the shadow of the trees. I suppose they were people going to work, or coming from work in the gardens; but how like it was to a nightmare!

'I remembered one night I had gone farther. It was somewhere in the far west, where there are orchards and gardens, and wide, grassy lawns that slope down to trees by the river. A huge red moon rose that night through the sunset mist and thin, wispy clouds, and I wandered along a road that passed through the orchards, until I reached a small hill, with the moon shining above it like a big, glowing rose. Then I saw figures moving between me and the moon, one by one, in a long line, each bent over with heavy packs on their backs. One of them was singing, and then in the middle of the song, I heard a terrible, piercing laugh, in the thin, cracked voice of a very old woman,[56] and they disappeared into the shadows of the trees. I guess they were people heading to work or coming back from the gardens; but it felt just like a nightmare!'

'I can't tell you about Hampton; I should never finish talking. I was there one evening, not long before they closed the gates, and there were very few people about. But the grey-red, silent, echoing courts, and the flowers falling into dreamland as the night came on, and the dark yews and shadowy-looking statues, and the far, still stretches of water beneath the avenues; and all melting into a blue mist, all being hidden from one's eyes, slowly, surely, as if veils were dropped, one by one, on a great ceremony! Oh! my dear, what could it mean? Far away, across the river, I heard a soft bell ring three times, and three times, and again three times, and I turned away, and my eyes were full of tears.

'I can't really describe Hampton; I'd never finish talking about it. I was there one evening, not long before they closed the gates, and there were very few people around. But the gray-red, silent, echoing courtyards, and the flowers drifting into a dream as night fell, and the dark yews and shadowy statues, and the still stretches of water beneath the trees; all melting into a blue mist, slowly and surely disappearing from sight, as if veils were being dropped one by one in a grand ceremony! Oh! my dear, what could it mean? Far away, across the river, I heard a soft bell ring three times, and three times again, and I turned away, with tears in my eyes.

'I didn't know what it was when I came to it; I only found out afterwards that it must have been Hampton Court. One of the men in the office told me he had taken an A. B. C. girl there, and they had great fun. They got into the maze and couldn't get out again, and then they went on the river and were nearly drowned. He told me there were some spicy pictures in the galleries; his girl shrieked with laughter, so he said.'

'I didn't know what it was when I got there; I only found out later that it must have been Hampton Court. One of the guys in the office told me he took an A. B. C. girl there, and they had a blast. They got lost in the maze and couldn’t find their way out, and then they went on the river and almost drowned. He said there were some risqué pictures in the galleries; his girl was shrieking with laughter, or so he claimed.'

Mary quite disregarded this interlude.

Mary completely ignored this interlude.

'But you told me you had made a map. What was it like?'

'But you told me you made a map. What was it like?'

'I'll show it you some day, if you want to see it. I marked down all the places I had gone to, and made signs—things like queer letters—to remind me of what[57] I had seen. Nobody but myself could understand it. I wanted to draw pictures, but I never learnt how to draw, so when I tried nothing was like what I wanted it to be. I tried to draw a picture of that town on the hill that I came to on the evening of the first day; I wanted to make a steep hill with houses on top, and in the middle, but high above them, the great church, all spires and pinnacles, and above it, in the air, a cup with rays coming from it. But it wasn't a success. I made a very strange sign for Hampton Court, and gave it a name that I made up out of my head.'

"I'll show it to you someday, if you want to see it. I noted all the places I had been to and created symbols—like unusual letters—to remind me of what[57] I had seen. No one but me could understand it. I wanted to draw pictures, but I never learned how to draw, so when I tried, nothing turned out the way I wanted. I attempted to sketch a picture of that town on the hill I came to on the evening of the first day; I wanted to depict a steep hill with houses on top, and in the middle, but high above them, the grand church, all spires and pinnacles, and above it, in the air, a cup with rays coming from it. But it wasn't a success. I made a very strange symbol for Hampton Court and gave it a name I made up on my own."

The Darnells avoided one another's eyes as they sat at breakfast the next morning. The air had lightened in the night, for rain had fallen at dawn; and there was a bright blue sky, with vast white clouds rolling across it from the south-west, and a fresh and joyous wind blew in at the open window; the mists had vanished. And with the mists there seemed to have vanished also the sense of strange things that had possessed Mary and her husband the night before; and as they looked out into the clear light they could scarcely believe that the one had spoken and the other had listened a few hours before to histories very far removed from the usual current of their thoughts and of their lives. They glanced shyly at one another, and spoke of common things, of the question whether Alice would be corrupted by the insidious Mrs. Murry, or whether Mrs. Darnell would be able to persuade the girl that the old woman must be actuated by the worst motives.

The Darnells avoided each other's gaze as they sat down for breakfast the next morning. The atmosphere felt lighter after the rain that had fallen at dawn; the sky was a bright blue with large white clouds rolling in from the southwest, and a fresh, cheerful breeze came through the open window; the mist had disappeared. With the mist seemed to have vanished the strange feelings that had troubled Mary and her husband the night before; as they looked out into the clear light, they could hardly believe that just a few hours earlier, they had shared stories that were so unlike their usual thoughts and lives. They glanced at each other shyly and talked about everyday things, like whether Alice would be influenced by the manipulative Mrs. Murry, or if Mrs. Darnell could convince the girl that the old woman had the worst intentions.

'And I think, if I were you,' said Darnell, as he went out, 'I should step over to the stores and complain of their meat. That last piece of beef was very far from being up to the mark—full of sinew.'[58]

'And I think, if I were you,' Darnell said as he left, 'I'd head over to the stores and complain about their meat. That last piece of beef was really not of good quality—full of tough sinew.'[58]

III

It might have been different in the evening, and Darnell had matured a plan by which he hoped to gain much. He intended to ask his wife if she would mind having only one gas, and that a good deal lowered, on the pretext that his eyes were tired with work; he thought many things might happen if the room were dimly lit, and the window opened, so that they could sit and watch the night, and listen to the rustling murmur of the tree on the lawn. But his plans were made in vain, for when he got to the garden gate his wife, in tears, came forth to meet him.

It might have been different in the evening, and Darnell had come up with a plan that he hoped would benefit him. He wanted to ask his wife if she would mind turning down the gas, just a bit, claiming that his eyes were tired from work. He thought that many things could happen if the room was dimly lit and the window was open, allowing them to sit together and watch the night while listening to the gentle rustling of the tree in the yard. But his plans were in vain, because when he reached the garden gate, his wife, in tears, came out to meet him.

'Oh, Edward,' she began, 'such a dreadful thing has happened! I never liked him much, but I didn't think he would ever do such awful things.'

'Oh, Edward,' she started, 'something awful has happened! I never really liked him, but I didn’t think he would ever do such terrible things.'

'What do you mean? Who are you talking about? What has happened? Is it Alice's young man?'

'What do you mean? Who are you talking about? What happened? Is it Alice's boyfriend?'

'No, no. But come in, dear. I can see that woman opposite watching us: she's always on the look out.'

'No, no. But come in, dear. I can see that woman across the way watching us: she’s always keeping an eye out.'

'Now, what is it?' said Darnell, as they sat down to tea. 'Tell me, quick! you've quite frightened me.'

'So, what is it?' Darnell said as they sat down for tea. 'Come on, tell me fast! You've really scared me.'

'I don't know how to begin, or where to start. Aunt Marian has thought that there was something queer for weeks. And then she found—oh, well, the long and short of it is that Uncle Robert has been carrying on dreadfully with some horrid girl, and aunt has found out everything!'

'I don't know how to start or where to begin. Aunt Marian has sensed something was off for weeks. Then she discovered—well, to sum it up, Uncle Robert has been having an affair with some awful girl, and Aunt has found out everything!'

'Lord! you don't say so! The old rascal! Why, he must be nearer seventy than sixty!'[59]

'Wow! You can't be serious! That old knucklehead! He has to be closer to seventy than sixty!'[59]

'He's just sixty-five; and the money he has given her——'

'He's only sixty-five; and the money he has given her——'

The first shock of surprise over, Darnell turned resolutely to his mince.

The initial shock of surprise faded, Darnell turned determinedly to his minced meat.

'We'll have it all out after tea,' he said; 'I am not going to have my meals spoilt by that old fool of a Nixon. Fill up my cup, will you, dear?'

'We'll sort everything out after tea,' he said; 'I’m not going to let that old fool Nixon ruin my meals. Can you fill my cup, please, dear?'

'Excellent mince this,' he went on, calmly. 'A little lemon juice and a bit of ham in it? I thought there was something extra. Alice all right to-day? That's good. I expect she's getting over all that nonsense.'

'This minced meat is excellent,' he continued, calmly. 'A little lemon juice and some ham in it? I thought there was something extra. Is Alice doing okay today? That’s good. I figure she’s getting past all that nonsense.'

He went on calmly chattering in a manner that astonished Mrs. Darnell, who felt that by the fall of Uncle Robert the natural order had been inverted, and had scarcely touched food since the intelligence had arrived by the second post. She had started out to keep the appointment her aunt had made early in the morning, and had spent most of the day in a first-class waiting-room at Victoria Station, where she had heard all the story.

He continued chatting calmly in a way that surprised Mrs. Darnell, who felt that with Uncle Robert's passing, everything had been turned upside down, and she had hardly eaten since she received the news by the second post. She had set out to keep the appointment her aunt had made early that morning and had spent most of the day in a first-class waiting room at Victoria Station, where she heard the whole story.

'Now,' said Darnell, when the table had been cleared, 'tell us all about it. How long has it been going on?'

'Now,' said Darnell, when the table had been cleared, 'tell us everything about it. How long has it been happening?'

'Aunt thinks now, from little things she remembers, that it must have been going on for a year at least. She says there has been a horrid kind of mystery about uncle's behaviour for a long time, and her nerves were quite shaken, as she thought he must be involved with Anarchists, or something dreadful of the sort.'

'Aunt now thinks, based on little things she remembers, that it must have been happening for at least a year. She says there's been a terrible kind of mystery surrounding uncle's behavior for a long time, and her nerves were completely frayed because she believed he might be involved with Anarchists or something equally dreadful.'

'What on earth made her think that?'

'What on earth made her think that?'

'Well, you see, once or twice when she was out walking with her husband, she has been startled by whistles, which seemed to follow them everywhere. You know[60] there are some nice country walks at Barnet, and one in particular, in the fields near Totteridge, that uncle and aunt rather made a point of going to on fine Sunday evenings. Of course, this was not the first thing she noticed, but, at the time, it made a great impression on her mind; she could hardly get a wink of sleep for weeks and weeks.'

'Well, you see, a couple of times when she was out walking with her husband, they were startled by whistles that seemed to follow them everywhere. You know[60] there are some nice country walks at Barnet, and one in particular, in the fields near Totteridge, that her uncle and aunt really liked to go to on nice Sunday evenings. Of course, this wasn’t the first thing she noticed, but at the time, it made a huge impression on her; she could hardly sleep for weeks and weeks.'

'Whistling?' said Darnell. 'I don't quite understand. Why should she be frightened by whistling?'

'Whistling?' Darnell said. 'I don't really get it. Why would she be scared of whistling?'

'I'll tell you. The first time it happened was one Sunday in last May. Aunt had a fancy they were being followed a Sunday or two before, but she didn't see or hear anything, except a sort of crackling noise in the hedge. But this particular Sunday they had hardly got through the stile into the fields, when she heard a peculiar kind of low whistle. She took no notice, thinking it was no concern of hers or her husband's, but as they went on she heard it again, and then again, and it followed them the whole walk, and it made her so uncomfortable, because she didn't know where it was coming from or who was doing it, or why. Then, just as they got out of the fields into the lane, uncle said he felt quite faint, and he thought he would try a little brandy at the "Turpin's Head," a small public-house there is there. And she looked at him and saw his face was quite purple—more like apoplexy, as she says, than fainting fits, which make people look a sort of greenish-white. But she said nothing, and thought perhaps uncle had a peculiar way of fainting of his own, as he always was a man to have his own way of doing everything. So she just waited in the road, and he went ahead and slipped into the public, and aunt says she thought she saw a little figure rise out of the[61] dusk and slip in after him, but she couldn't be sure. And when uncle came out he looked red instead of purple, and said he felt much better; and so they went home quietly together, and nothing more was said. You see, uncle had said nothing about the whistling, and aunt had been so frightened that she didn't dare speak, for fear they might be both shot.

'I’ll tell you. The first time it happened was a Sunday last May. Aunt thought they were being followed a Sunday or two before, but she didn’t see or hear anything, just a kind of crackling noise in the hedge. But this particular Sunday, they had barely stepped through the stile into the fields when she heard a strange low whistle. She ignored it, thinking it wasn’t her concern or her husband’s, but as they continued, she heard it again, and then again, and it followed them the entire walk. It made her uneasy because she didn’t know where it was coming from or who was making it, or why. Then, just as they exited the fields into the lane, uncle said he felt a bit faint and thought he’d try a little brandy at the "Turpin's Head," a small pub nearby. She looked at him and saw his face was quite purple—more like apoplexy, as she said, than fainting fits, which make people look a bit greenish-white. But she said nothing and figured maybe uncle had a unique way of fainting since he always did things his own way. So she just waited in the road while he went ahead and slipped into the pub, and aunt thought she saw a little figure rise from the dusk and slip in after him, but she couldn’t be sure. When uncle came out, he looked red instead of purple and said he felt much better; so they went home quietly together, and nothing more was said. You see, uncle hadn’t mentioned the whistling, and aunt had been so scared that she didn’t dare speak, fearing they might both get shot.'

'She wasn't thinking anything more about it, when two Sundays afterwards the very same thing happened just as it had before. This time aunt plucked up a spirit, and asked uncle what it could be. And what do you think he said? "Birds, my dear, birds." Of course aunt said to him that no bird that ever flew with wings made a noise like that: sly, and low, with pauses in between; and then he said that many rare sorts of birds lived in North Middlesex and Hertfordshire. "Nonsense, Robert," said aunt, "how can you talk so, considering it has followed us all the way, for a mile or more?" And then uncle told her that some birds were so attached to man that they would follow one about for miles sometimes; he said he had just been reading about a bird like that in a book of travels. And do you know that when they got home he actually showed her a piece in the "Hertfordshire Naturalist" which they took in to oblige a friend of theirs, all about rare birds found in the neighbourhood, all the most outlandish names, aunt says, that she had never heard or thought of, and uncle had the impudence to say that it must have been a Purple Sandpiper, which, the paper said, had "a low shrill note, constantly repeated." And then he took down a book of Siberian Travels from the bookcase and showed her a page which told how a man was followed by a bird all day long through[62] a forest. And that's what Aunt Marian says vexes her more than anything almost; to think that he should be so artful and ready with those books, twisting them to his own wicked ends. But, at the time, when she was out walking, she simply couldn't make out what he meant by talking about birds in that random, silly sort of way, so unlike him, and they went on, that horrible whistling following them, she looking straight ahead and walking fast, really feeling more huffy and put out than frightened. And when they got to the next stile, she got over and turned round, and "lo and behold," as she says, there was no Uncle Robert to be seen! She felt herself go quite white with alarm, thinking of that whistle, and making sure he'd been spirited away or snatched in some way or another, and she had just screamed out "Robert" like a mad woman, when he came quite slowly round the corner, as cool as a cucumber, holding something in his hand. He said there were some flowers he could never pass, and when aunt saw that he had got a dandelion torn up by the roots, she felt as if her head were going round.'

She wasn't thinking much about it when, two Sundays later, the exact same thing happened just like before. This time, Aunt gathered her courage and asked Uncle what it could be. And guess what he said? “Birds, my dear, birds.” Of course, Aunt told him that no bird ever flew and made a sound like that: sly, quiet, with pauses in between. Then he said that many rare birds lived in North Middlesex and Hertfordshire. “Nonsense, Robert,” Aunt exclaimed, “how can you say that, considering it has followed us all the way for a mile or more?” Uncle then told her that some birds were so attached to humans that they would follow people for miles. He mentioned he had just read about a bird like that in a travel book. And you know, when they got home he actually showed her an article in the “Hertfordshire Naturalist,” which they subscribed to just to help a friend, all about rare birds found in the area—Aunt says all the most outrageous names that she had never heard of or even thought about. Uncle had the audacity to say it must have been a Purple Sandpiper, which the article claimed had “a low shrill note, constantly repeated.” Then he pulled a book of Siberian Travels off the shelf and showed her a page that told how a man was followed by a bird all day long through[62] a forest. And that’s what Aunt Marian says annoys her more than anything else; the thought that he could be so clever and quick with those books, twisting them to his own wicked purposes. But at the time, while she was out walking, she just couldn’t figure out what he meant by talking about birds in such a random, silly way, so unlike him, and they continued on, the horrible whistling still following them, with her looking straight ahead and walking fast, really feeling more irritated and upset than frightened. When they reached the next stile, she climbed over and turned around, and “lo and behold,” as she puts it, there was no Uncle Robert in sight! She felt herself turn pale with alarm, thinking of that whistle and fearing he had been spirited away or snatched somehow, and just as she screamed out “Robert” like a madwoman, he came slowly around the corner, as calm as could be, holding something in his hand. He said there were some flowers he couldn’t pass by, and when Aunt saw that he had a dandelion torn up by the roots, she felt like her head was spinning.

Mary's story was suddenly interrupted. For ten minutes Darnell had been writhing in his chair, suffering tortures in his anxiety to avoid wounding his wife's feelings, but the episode of the dandelion was too much for him, and he burst into a long, wild shriek of laughter, aggravated by suppression into the semblance of a Red Indian's war-whoop. Alice, who was washing-up in the scullery, dropped some three shillings' worth of china, and the neighbours ran out into their gardens wondering if it were murder. Mary gazed reproachfully at her husband.

Mary's story was suddenly interrupted. For ten minutes, Darnell had been squirming in his chair, struggling with his anxiety to avoid hurting his wife's feelings, but the dandelion incident was too much for him, and he burst out into a loud, wild laugh, which sounded more like a Native American war cry because he was trying to hold it back. Alice, who was washing dishes in the kitchen, dropped about three shillings' worth of china, and the neighbors rushed out into their gardens, wondering if there had been a murder. Mary looked at her husband with disappointment.

'How can you be so unfeeling, Edward?' she said, at[63] length, when Darnell had passed into the feebleness of exhaustion. 'If you had seen the tears rolling down poor Aunt Marian's cheeks as she told me, I don't think you would have laughed. I didn't think you were so hard-hearted.'

'How can you be so cold, Edward?' she said, at[63] last, when Darnell had fallen into the weakness of exhaustion. 'If you'd seen the tears streaming down poor Aunt Marian's face as she told me, I don't think you would have laughed. I didn’t realize you were so heartless.'

'My dear Mary,' said Darnell, faintly, through sobs and catching of the breath, 'I am awfully sorry. I know it's very sad, really, and I'm not unfeeling; but it is such an odd tale, now, isn't it? The Sandpiper, you know, and then the dandelion!'

'My dear Mary,' Darnell said softly, through sobs and catching his breath, 'I'm really sorry. I know it’s very sad, honestly, and I’m not heartless; but it’s just such a strange story, isn’t it? The Sandpiper, you know, and then the dandelion!'

His face twitched and he ground his teeth together. Mary looked gravely at him for a moment, and then she put her hands to her face, and Darnell could see that she also shook with merriment.

His face twitched and he clenched his teeth together. Mary looked at him seriously for a moment, then she covered her face with her hands, and Darnell could see that she was also bursting with laughter.

'I am as bad as you,' she said, at last. 'I never thought of it in that way. I'm glad I didn't, or I should have laughed in Aunt Marian's face, and I wouldn't have done that for the world. Poor old thing; she cried as if her heart would break. I met her at Victoria, as she asked me, and we had some soup at a confectioner's. I could scarcely touch it; her tears kept dropping into the plate all the time; and then we went to the waiting-room at the station, and she cried there terribly.'

"I'm just as bad as you," she finally said. "I never thought of it that way. I'm glad I didn’t, or I would have laughed in Aunt Marian's face, and I wouldn't do that for anything. Poor thing; she cried like her heart was breaking. I met her at Victoria like she asked me to, and we had some soup at a café. I could hardly eat it; her tears kept falling into the bowl the whole time; then we went to the waiting room at the station, and she cried really hard there."

'Well,' said Darnell, 'what happened next? I won't laugh any more.'

'Well,' said Darnell, 'what happened next? I won't laugh anymore.'

'No, we mustn't; it's much too horrible for a joke. Well, of course aunt went home and wondered and wondered what could be the matter, and tried to think it out, but, as she says, she could make nothing of it. She began to be afraid that uncle's brain was giving way through overwork, as he had stopped in the City (as he said) up to all hours lately, and he had to go[64] to Yorkshire (wicked old story-teller!), about some very tiresome business connected with his leases. But then she reflected that however queer he might be getting, even his queerness couldn't make whistles in the air, though, as she said, he was always a wonderful man. So she had to give that up; and then she wondered if there were anything the matter with her, as she had read about people who heard noises when there was really nothing at all. But that wouldn't do either, because though it might account for the whistling, it wouldn't account for the dandelion or the Sandpiper, or for fainting fits that turned purple, or any of uncle's queerness. So aunt said she could think of nothing but to read the Bible every day from the beginning, and by the time she got into Chronicles she felt rather better, especially as nothing had happened for three or four Sundays. She noticed uncle seemed absent-minded, and not as nice to her as he might be, but she put that down to too much work, as he never came home before the last train, and had a hansom twice all the way, getting there between three and four in the morning. Still, she felt it was no good bothering her head over what couldn't be made out or explained anyway, and she was just settling down, when one Sunday evening it began all over again, and worse things happened. The whistling followed them just as it did before, and poor aunt set her teeth and said nothing to uncle, as she knew he would only tell her stories, and they were walking on, not saying a word, when something made her look back, and there was a horrible boy with red hair, peeping through the hedge just behind, and grinning. She said it was a dreadful face, with something unnatural about it, as if[65] it had been a dwarf, and before she had time to have a good look, it popped back like lightning, and aunt all but fainted away.'

'No, we shouldn't; it's way too terrible for a joke. Well, of course, Aunt went home and kept wondering what could be wrong, trying to figure it out, but, as she said, she couldn't make any sense of it. She started to worry that Uncle's mind was slipping from overwork since he'd been staying late in the City (as he claimed) recently, and he had to go to Yorkshire (that crafty old storyteller!), for some really boring stuff related to his leases. But then she thought that no matter how strange he might be getting, even his oddness couldn't make whistling sounds in the air, although, as she said, he was always an amazing guy. So she had to let that go; then she began to wonder if something was wrong with her, as she had read about people who heard noises when there was nothing there. But that didn’t seem right either, because while it might explain the whistling, it wouldn't explain the dandelion or the Sandpiper, or the fainting spells that turned her purple, or any of Uncle's oddness. So Aunt figured she had nothing to do but read the Bible every day from the start, and by the time she got to Chronicles, she felt a bit better, especially since nothing unusual had happened for three or four Sundays. She noticed Uncle seemed distracted and wasn't as nice to her as he could be, but she brushed it off as him just working too much since he never got home before the last train and took a cab twice, arriving between three and four in the morning. Still, she thought it was pointless to worry about things that couldn’t be figured out or explained anyway, and she was just settling in when one Sunday evening it all started again, and worse things happened. The whistling followed them just like before, and poor Aunt gritted her teeth and didn’t say anything to Uncle, knowing he would only tell her stories. They were walking along in silence when something made her look back, and there was a terrifying boy with red hair, peeking through the hedge right behind them, grinning. She said it was an awful face, with something unnatural about it, as if it was a dwarf, and before she could take a good look, it darted back like lightning, and Aunt nearly fainted.'

'A red-headed boy?' said Darnell. 'I thought——What an extraordinary story this is. I've never heard of anything so queer. Who was the boy?'

'A red-headed boy?' said Darnell. 'I thought——What an extraordinary story this is. I've never heard of anything so strange. Who was the boy?'

'You will know in good time,' said Mrs. Darnell. 'It is very strange, isn't it?'

'You'll find out soon enough,' said Mrs. Darnell. 'It is really strange, isn't it?'

'Strange!' Darnell ruminated for a while.

'Weird!' Darnell thought for a moment.

'I know what I think, Mary,' he said at length. 'I don't believe a word of it. I believe your aunt is going mad, or has gone mad, and that she has delusions. The whole thing sounds to me like the invention of a lunatic.'

'I know what I think, Mary,' he said after a moment. 'I don’t believe a word of it. I think your aunt is going crazy, or has already gone crazy, and that she has delusions. It all sounds to me like something a lunatic would come up with.'

'You are quite wrong. Every word is true, and if you will let me go on, you will understand how it all happened.'

'You are completely mistaken. Every word is the truth, and if you allow me to continue, you'll understand how it all unfolded.'

'Very good, go ahead.'

'Great, go for it.'

'Let me see, where was I? Oh, I know, aunt saw the boy grinning in the hedge. Yes, well, she was dreadfully frightened for a minute or two; there was something so queer about the face, but then she plucked up a spirit and said to herself, "After all, better a boy with red hair than a big man with a gun," and she made up her mind to watch Uncle Robert closely, as she could see by his look he knew all about it; he seemed as if he were thinking hard and puzzling over something, as if he didn't know what to do next, and his mouth kept opening and shutting, like a fish's. So she kept her face straight, and didn't say a word, and when he said something to her about the fine sunset, she took no notice. "Don't you hear what I say, Marian?" he said, speaking quite crossly, and bellowing as if it[66] were to somebody in the next field. So aunt said she was very sorry, but her cold made her so deaf, she couldn't hear much. She noticed uncle looked quite pleased, and relieved too, and she knew he thought she hadn't heard the whistling. Suddenly uncle pretended to see a beautiful spray of honeysuckle high up in the hedge, and he said he must get it for aunt, only she must go on ahead, as it made him nervous to be watched. She said she would, but she just stepped aside behind a bush where there was a sort of cover in the hedge, and found she could see him quite well, though she scratched her face terribly with poking it into a rose bush. And in a minute or two out came the boy from behind the hedge, and she saw uncle and him talking, and she knew it was the same boy, as it wasn't dark enough to hide his flaming red head. And uncle put out his hand as if to catch him, but he just darted into the bushes and vanished. Aunt never said a word at the time, but that night when they got home she charged uncle with what she'd seen and asked him what it all meant. He was quite taken aback at first, and stammered and stuttered and said a spy wasn't his notion of a good wife, but at last he made her swear secrecy, and told her that he was a very high Freemason, and that the boy was an emissary of the order who brought him messages of the greatest importance. But aunt didn't believe a word of it, as an uncle of hers was a mason, and he never behaved like that. It was then she began to be afraid that it was really Anarchists, or something of the kind, and every time the bell rang she thought that uncle had been found out, and the police had come for him.'[67]

"Let me think, where was I? Oh, right, Aunt saw the boy grinning in the hedge. She was really scared for a minute or two; there was something so strange about his face, but then she pulled herself together and told herself, 'After all, I'd rather deal with a boy with red hair than a big guy with a gun,' and she decided to keep a close eye on Uncle Robert, as she could tell by his expression that he knew what was going on; he looked like he was deep in thought, trying to figure something out, with his mouth opening and closing like a fish's. So she kept a straight face and didn't say anything, and when he mentioned the lovely sunset, she ignored him. 'Aren't you listening to me, Marian?' he said, sounding annoyed, practically shouting as if he were talking to someone in the next field. Aunt said she was really sorry, but her cold had made her so deaf that she couldn’t hear much. She noticed Uncle looked pretty pleased and relieved, and she realized he thought she hadn't heard the whistling. Suddenly, Uncle pretended to spot a beautiful spray of honeysuckle high up in the hedge, saying he had to get it for Aunt, but she needed to go ahead because it made him anxious to be watched. She agreed but stepped aside behind a bush where there was some cover in the hedge and found she could see him pretty well, even though she scratched her face badly poking it into a rose bush. In a minute or two, the boy came out from behind the hedge, and she saw Uncle talking to him; she recognized it was the same boy since it wasn't dark enough to hide his bright red hair. Uncle reached out as if to grab him, but the boy just darted into the bushes and disappeared. Aunt didn’t say anything at the time, but that night when they got home, she confronted Uncle about what she’d seen and asked him what it all meant. He was taken aback at first, stammered and stuttered, saying that a spy wasn’t his idea of a good wife, but eventually, he made her promise to keep it a secret and told her he was a very high Freemason, and that the boy was a messenger of the order, delivering messages of the utmost importance. But Aunt didn’t believe a word of it, since one of her uncles was a Mason, and he never acted like that. It was then she started to worry that it was really Anarchists or something like that, and every time the bell rang, she thought Uncle had been found out, and the police had come for him."

'What nonsense! As if a man with house property would be an Anarchist.'

'What nonsense! As if a guy with property would be an Anarchist.'

'Well, she could see there must be some horrible secret, and she didn't know what else to think. And then she began to have the things through the post.'

'Well, she could tell there was some terrible secret, and she didn’t know what else to think. Then she started receiving things in the mail.'

'Things through the post! What do you mean by that?'

'Things through the mail! What do you mean by that?'

'All sorts of things; bits of broken bottle-glass, packed carefully as if it were jewellery; parcels that unrolled and unrolled worse than Chinese boxes, and then had "cat" in large letters when you came to the middle; old artificial teeth, a cake of red paint, and at last cockroaches.'

'All kinds of stuff; pieces of broken glass from bottles, packed carefully like it was jewelry; packages that unraveled and unraveled worse than Chinese boxes, and then had "cat" in big letters when you got to the middle; old false teeth, a bar of red paint, and finally cockroaches.'

'Cockroaches by post! Stuff and nonsense; your aunt's mad.'

'Cockroaches by mail! Ridiculous; your aunt's crazy.'

'Edward, she showed me the box; it was made to hold cigarettes, and there were three dead cockroaches inside. And when she found a box of exactly the same kind, half-full of cigarettes, in uncle's great-coat pocket, then her head began to turn again.'

'Edward, she showed me the box; it was meant to hold cigarettes, and there were three dead cockroaches inside. And when she discovered a box exactly like it, half-full of cigarettes, in uncle's overcoat pocket, that’s when her head started to spin again.'

Darnell groaned, and stirred uneasily in his chair, feeling that the tale of Aunt Marian's domestic troubles was putting on the semblance of an evil dream.

Darnell groaned and shifted uncomfortably in his chair, sensing that Aunt Marian's story about her home issues was starting to feel like a bad dream.

'Anything else?' he asked.

'Anything else?' he inquired.

'My dear, I haven't repeated half the things poor aunt told me this afternoon. There was the night she thought she saw a ghost in the shrubbery. She was anxious about some chickens that were just due to hatch out, so she went out after dark with some egg and bread-crumbs, in case they might be out. And just before her she saw a figure gliding by the rhododendrons. It looked like a short, slim man dressed as they used[68] to be hundreds of years ago; she saw the sword by his side, and the feather in his cap. She thought she should have died, she said, and though it was gone in a minute, and she tried to make out it was all her fancy, she fainted when she got into the house. Uncle was at home that night, and when she came to and told him he ran out, and stayed out for half-an-hour or more, and then came in and said he could find nothing; and the next minute aunt heard that low whistle just outside the window, and uncle ran out again.'

'My dear, I haven't shared half the things poor aunt told me this afternoon. There was the night she thought she saw a ghost in the bushes. She was worried about some chickens that were about to hatch, so she went outside after dark with some eggs and bread crumbs, just in case they were around. And right in front of her, she saw a figure gliding by the rhododendrons. It looked like a short, slim man dressed like they used to a few hundred years ago; she saw the sword at his side and the feather in his cap. She thought she was going to die, she said, and even though it was gone in a minute and she tried to convince herself it was all in her head, she fainted when she got back inside. Uncle was home that night, and when she came to and told him, he ran outside and stayed out for half an hour or more, then came back in and said he couldn't find anything. The next minute, aunt heard that low whistle just outside the window, and uncle ran out again.'

'My dear Mary, do let us come to the point. What on earth does it all lead to?'

'My dear Mary, let’s get straight to the point. What does it all lead to?'

'Haven't you guessed? Why, of course it was that girl all the time.'

'Haven't you figured it out? Of course, it was that girl the whole time.'

'Girl? I thought you said it was a boy with a red head?'

'Girl? I thought you said it was a boy with red hair?'

'Don't you see? She's an actress, and she dressed up. She won't leave uncle alone. It wasn't enough that he was with her nearly every evening in the week, but she must be after him on Sundays too. Aunt found a letter the horrid thing had written, and so it has all come out. Enid Vivian she calls herself, though I don't suppose she has any right to one name or the other. And the question is, what is to be done?'

'Don't you see? She's an actress, and she got all dressed up. She won't leave Uncle alone. It wasn't enough that he was with her almost every evening during the week; she has to go after him on Sundays too. Aunt found a letter that the awful woman wrote, and now it’s all out in the open. She calls herself Enid Vivian, but I doubt she has any right to either name. And the question is, what are we going to do?'

'Let us talk of that again. I'll have a pipe, and then we'll go to bed.'

'Let's talk about that again. I'll smoke a pipe, and then we'll go to bed.'

They were almost asleep when Mary said suddenly—

They were almost asleep when Mary suddenly said—

'Doesn't it seem queer, Edward? Last night you were telling me such beautiful things, and to-night I have been talking about that disgraceful old man and his goings on.'

'Doesn't it seem strange, Edward? Last night you were sharing such beautiful things with me, and tonight I've been talking about that disgraceful old man and his antics.'

'I don't know,' answered Darnell, dreamily. 'On the walls of that great church upon the hill I saw all[69] kinds of strange grinning monsters, carved in stone.'

'I don't know,' Darnell replied, lost in thought. 'On the walls of that huge church on the hill, I saw all kinds of weird grinning monsters, carved in stone.'

The misdemeanours of Mr. Robert Nixon brought in their train consequences strange beyond imagination. It was not that they continued to develop on the somewhat fantastic lines of these first adventures which Mrs. Darnell had related; indeed, when 'Aunt Marian' came over to Shepherd's Bush, one Sunday afternoon, Darnell wondered how he had had the heart to laugh at the misfortunes of a broken-hearted woman.

The wrongdoings of Mr. Robert Nixon brought unexpected consequences that were hard to believe. It wasn't that they kept unfolding in the somewhat unbelievable way that Mrs. Darnell had described; in fact, when 'Aunt Marian' came over to Shepherd's Bush one Sunday afternoon, Darnell questioned how he could have found it funny to laugh at the troubles of a heartbroken woman.

He had never seen his wife's aunt before, and he was strangely surprised when Alice showed her into the garden where they were sitting on the warm and misty Sunday in September. To him, save during these latter days, she had always been associated with ideas of splendour and success: his wife had always mentioned the Nixons with a tinge of reverence; he had heard, many times, the epic of Mr. Nixon's struggles and of his slow but triumphant rise. Mary had told the story as she had received it from her parents, beginning with the flight to London from some small, dull, and unprosperous town in the flattest of the Midlands, long ago, when a young man from the country had great chances of fortune. Robert Nixon's father had been a grocer in the High Street, and in after days the successful coal merchant and builder loved to tell of that dull provincial life, and while he glorified his own victories, he gave his hearers to understand that he came of a race which had also known how to achieve. That had been long ago, he would explain: in the days when that rare citizen who desired to go to London or to York was forced to rise in the dead of night, and make his way, somehow or other, by ten miles of quagmirish, wandering lanes to the[70] Great North Road, there to meet the 'Lightning' coach, a vehicle which stood to all the countryside as the visible and tangible embodiment of tremendous speed—'and indeed,' as Nixon would add, 'it was always up to time, which is more than can be said of the Dunham Branch Line nowadays!' It was in this ancient Dunham that the Nixons had waged successful trade for perhaps a hundred years, in a shop with bulging bay windows looking on the market-place. There was no competition, and the townsfolk, and well-to-do farmers, the clergy and the country families, looked upon the house of Nixon as an institution fixed as the town hall (which stood on Roman pillars) and the parish church. But the change came: the railway crept nearer and nearer, the farmers and the country gentry became less well-to-do; the tanning, which was the local industry, suffered from a great business which had been established in a larger town, some twenty miles away, and the profits of the Nixons grew less and less. Hence the hegira of Robert, and he would dilate on the poorness of his beginnings, how he saved, by little and little, from his sorry wage of City clerk, and how he and a fellow clerk, 'who had come into a hundred pounds,' saw an opening in the coal trade—and filled it. It was at this stage of Robert's fortunes, still far from magnificent, that Miss Marian Reynolds had encountered him, she being on a visit to friends in Gunnersbury. Afterwards, victory followed victory; Nixon's wharf became a landmark to bargemen; his power stretched abroad, his dusky fleets went outwards to the sea, and inward by all the far reaches of canals. Lime, cement,[71] and bricks were added to his merchandise, and at last he hit upon the great stroke—that extensive taking up of land in the north of London. Nixon himself ascribed this coup to native sagacity, and the possession of capital; and there were also obscure rumours to the effect that some one or other had been 'done' in the course of the transaction. However that might be, the Nixons grew wealthy to excess, and Mary had often told her husband of the state in which they dwelt, of their liveried servants, of the glories of their drawing-room, of their broad lawn, shadowed by a splendid and ancient cedar. And so Darnell had somehow been led into conceiving the lady of this demesne as a personage of no small pomp. He saw her, tall, of dignified port and presence, inclining, it might be, to some measure of obesity, such a measure as was not unbefitting in an elderly lady of position, who lived well and lived at ease. He even imagined a slight ruddiness of complexion, which went very well with hair that was beginning to turn grey, and when he heard the door-bell ring, as he sat under the mulberry on the Sunday afternoon, he bent forward to catch sight of this stately figure, clad, of course, in the richest, blackest silk, girt about with heavy chains of gold.

He had never met his wife's aunt before, and he was oddly surprised when Alice brought her into the garden where they were sitting on that warm, misty Sunday in September. Until these recent days, she had always been associated in his mind with ideas of grandeur and success: his wife spoke of the Nixons with a sense of respect; he had heard many times about Mr. Nixon's struggles and his gradual yet triumphant rise. Mary had shared the story she had heard from her parents, starting with their escape to London from some small, dull, and unprosperous town in the flat Midlands long ago, at a time when a young man from the countryside had great opportunities for fortune. Robert Nixon's father had been a grocer on High Street, and later, the successful coal merchant and builder enjoyed recounting that mundane provincial life, and while he celebrated his achievements, he made it clear that he came from a lineage that knew how to succeed as well. That was long ago, he would explain: back when that rare citizen who wanted to go to London or York had to rise at dawn and navigate ten miles of muddy, winding lanes to the[70] Great North Road, where they would catch the 'Lightning' coach, a vehicle that represented extraordinary speed to everyone in the countryside—'and indeed,' Nixon would add, 'it was always on time, which is more than can be said for the Dunham Branch Line nowadays!' It was in this old Dunham that the Nixons had successfully run their business for about a hundred years, in a shop with bulging bay windows overlooking the market square. There was no competition, and the townspeople, wealthy farmers, clergy, and country families regarded the Nixon shop as a fixture, as established as the town hall (which stood on Roman pillars) and the parish church. But change came: the railway crept closer, farmers and country gentry became less affluent; the local tanning industry suffered due to a larger business established twenty miles away, and the Nixons' profits dwindled. This led to Robert's departure, and he would elaborate on his humble beginnings, how he saved bit by bit from his meager wage as a City clerk, and how he and a fellow clerk, 'who came into a hundred pounds,' saw a chance in the coal trade—and took it. At this point in Robert's journey, still far from wealthy, he met Miss Marian Reynolds while she was visiting friends in Gunnersbury. After that, one success followed another; Nixon's wharf became a landmark for bargemen; his influence spread, and his dark fleets sailed out to sea and up the far reaches of canals. Lime, cement,[71] and bricks were added to his inventory, and eventually, he made a significant move—acquiring large parcels of land in northern London. Nixon himself credited this success to his natural insight and available capital; there were also vague rumors that someone had been 'taken' during the deal. Regardless, the Nixons became extremely wealthy, and Mary often described to her husband the lavish lifestyle they led, their liveried servants, the splendor of their drawing-room, and their spacious lawn shaded by a magnificent old cedar tree. Thus, Darnell had somehow come to envision the lady of this estate as someone of great importance. He pictured her tall, dignified, possibly a bit plump, which was not inappropriate for a well-off elderly lady who lived comfortably. He even imagined her complexion to have a slight rosy hue, complementing her hair that was starting to turn grey, and when he heard the doorbell ring as he sat under the mulberry tree that Sunday afternoon, he leaned forward to catch a glimpse of this stately figure, dressed, of course, in the richest, darkest silk, adorned with heavy gold chains.

He started with amazement when he saw the strange presence that followed the servant into the garden. Mrs. Nixon was a little, thin old woman, who bent as she feebly trotted after Alice; her eyes were on the ground, and she did not lift them when the Darnells rose to greet her. She glanced to the right, uneasily, as she shook hands with Darnell, to the left when[72] Mary kissed her, and when she was placed on the garden seat with a cushion at her back, she looked away at the back of the houses in the next street. She was dressed in black, it was true, but even Darnell could see that her gown was old and shabby, that the fur trimming of her cape and the fur boa which was twisted about her neck were dingy and disconsolate, and had all the melancholy air which fur wears when it is seen in a second-hand clothes-shop in a back street. And her gloves—they were black kid, wrinkled with much wear, faded to a bluish hue at the finger-tips, which showed signs of painful mending. Her hair, plastered over her forehead, looked dull and colourless, though some greasy matter had evidently been used with a view of producing a becoming gloss, and on it perched an antique bonnet, adorned with black pendants that rattled paralytically one against the other.

He was taken aback when he saw the unusual figure following the servant into the garden. Mrs. Nixon was a small, thin old woman, who bent slightly as she weakly hurried after Alice; her gaze was fixed on the ground, and she didn’t lift it when the Darnells stood up to greet her. She looked to the right nervously as she shook hands with Darnell, then to the left when Mary kissed her, and when she was settled on the garden seat with a cushion behind her, she stared off at the backs of the houses in the next street. It was true she was dressed in black, but even Darnell could see that her dress was old and worn; the fur trim on her cape and the fur boa wrapped around her neck were dingy and forlorn, giving off the sad vibe that fur tends to have when it’s found in a thrift shop tucked away in a side street. And her gloves—they were black leather, creased from frequent use, faded to a bluish tone at the fingertips, which showed signs of painful repairs. Her hair, slicked over her forehead, looked dull and lifeless, although some oily substance had clearly been used in an attempt to create a nice shine, and perched on her head was an outdated bonnet, decorated with black tassels that rattled against each other feebly.

And there was nothing in Mrs. Nixon's face to correspond with the imaginary picture that Darnell had made of her. She was sallow, wrinkled, pinched; her nose ran to a sharp point, and her red-rimmed eyes were a queer water-grey, that seemed to shrink alike from the light and from encounter with the eyes of others. As she sat beside his wife on the green garden-seat, Darnell, who occupied a wicker-chair brought out from the drawing-room, could not help feeling that this shadowy and evasive figure, muttering replies to Mary's polite questions, was almost impossibly remote from his conceptions of the rich and powerful aunt, who could give away a hundred pounds as a mere birthday gift. She would say little at first; yes, she was feeling rather tired, it had been so hot[73] all the way, and she had been afraid to put on lighter things as one never knew at this time of year what it might be like in the evenings; there were apt to be cold mists when the sun went down, and she didn't care to risk bronchitis.

And there was nothing in Mrs. Nixon's face that matched the imaginary image Darnell had created of her. She looked pale, wrinkled, and worn; her nose was sharp at the tip, and her red-rimmed eyes were an odd watery gray that seemed to shrink away from both the light and the gaze of others. Sitting beside his wife on the green garden seat, Darnell, who was in a wicker chair brought out from the drawing room, couldn't shake the feeling that this shadowy and evasive figure, mumbling responses to Mary's polite questions, was almost impossibly distant from his idea of the wealthy and powerful aunt who could casually give away a hundred pounds as a birthday gift. She spoke little at first; yes, she was feeling quite tired, as it had been so hot[73] all along, and she had been worried about wearing lighter clothes since you never knew in this season how chilly it might get in the evenings; there often were cold mists once the sun set, and she didn't want to risk getting bronchitis.

'I thought I should never get here,' she went on, raising her voice to an odd querulous pipe. 'I'd no notion it was such an out-of-the-way place, it's so many years since I was in this neighbourhood.'

'I didn't think I'd ever make it here,' she continued, raising her voice to a strange, whiny tone. 'I had no idea it was such a remote place; it's been so many years since I was in this area.'

She wiped her eyes, no doubt thinking of the early days at Turnham Green, when she married Nixon; and when the pocket-handkerchief had done its office she replaced it in a shabby black bag which she clutched rather than carried. Darnell noticed, as he watched her, that the bag seemed full, almost to bursting, and he speculated idly as to the nature of its contents: correspondence, perhaps, he thought, further proofs of Uncle Robert's treacherous and wicked dealings. He grew quite uncomfortable, as he sat and saw her glancing all the while furtively away from his wife and himself, and presently he got up and strolled away to the other end of the garden, where he lit his pipe and walked to and fro on the gravel walk, still astounded at the gulf between the real and the imagined woman.

She wiped her eyes, clearly thinking about the early days at Turnham Green when she married Nixon. After the handkerchief had done its job, she put it back in a worn black bag that she held tightly rather than carried. Darnell noticed, as he observed her, that the bag looked full, almost about to burst, and he idly wondered what might be inside: maybe letters, he thought, more evidence of Uncle Robert's deceitful and immoral actions. He became quite uncomfortable as he watched her sneak glances away from his wife and himself, and soon he got up and walked to the other end of the garden, where he lit his pipe and paced back and forth on the gravel path, still amazed by the gap between the real woman and the one he imagined.

Presently he heard a hissing whisper, and he saw Mrs. Nixon's head inclining to his wife's. Mary rose and came towards him.

Presently, he heard a hissing whisper, and he saw Mrs. Nixon leaning towards his wife's head. Mary got up and walked towards him.

'Would you mind sitting in the drawing-room, Edward?' she murmured. 'Aunt says she can't bring herself to discuss such a delicate matter before you. I dare say it's quite natural.'

'Would you mind sitting in the living room, Edward?' she murmured. 'Aunt says she can't bring herself to talk about such a sensitive issue in front of you. I suppose it's pretty natural.'

'Very well, but I don't think I'll go into the drawing-room.[74] I feel as if a walk would do me good. You mustn't be frightened if I am a little late,' he said; 'if I don't get back before your aunt goes, say good-bye to her for me.'

'That's fine, but I don't think I'll go into the living room.[74] I feel like a walk would do me some good. Don't worry if I'm a bit late,' he said; 'if I don't make it back before your aunt leaves, please say goodbye to her for me.'

He strolled into the main road, where the trams were humming to and fro. He was still confused and perplexed, and he tried to account for a certain relief he felt in removing himself from the presence of Mrs. Nixon. He told himself that her grief at her husband's ruffianly conduct was worthy of all pitiful respect, but at the same time, to his shame, he had felt a certain physical aversion from her as she sat in his garden in her dingy black, dabbing her red-rimmed eyes with a damp pocket-handkerchief. He had been to the Zoo when he was a lad, and he still remembered how he had shrunk with horror at the sight of certain reptiles slowly crawling over one another in their slimy pond. But he was enraged at the similarity between the two sensations, and he walked briskly on that level and monotonous road, looking about him at the unhandsome spectacle of suburban London keeping Sunday.

He walked onto the main road, where the trams were moving back and forth. He was still confused and disturbed, and he tried to figure out why he felt a certain relief from being away from Mrs. Nixon. He reminded himself that her grief over her husband’s brutish behavior deserved all the sympathy in the world, but at the same time, he felt a sense of shame for feeling a physical aversion to her as she sat in his garden in her dull black clothing, rubbing her red-rimmed eyes with a wet handkerchief. He had gone to the Zoo when he was young, and he still remembered how he had shuddered in horror at the sight of certain reptiles crawling over each other in their slimy pond. But he was furious at the similarity between those two feelings, and he walked quickly along that flat, monotonous road, looking around at the unattractive scene of suburban London celebrating Sunday.

There was something in the tinge of antiquity which still exists in Acton that soothed his mind and drew it away from those unpleasant contemplations, and when at last he had penetrated rampart after rampart of brick, and heard no more the harsh shrieks and laughter of the people who were enjoying themselves, he found a way into a little sheltered field, and sat down in peace beneath a tree, whence he could look out on a pleasant valley. The sun sank down beneath the hills, the clouds changed into the likeness of blossoming rose-gardens; and he still sat there in the gathering[75] darkness till a cool breeze blew upon him, and he rose with a sigh, and turned back to the brick ramparts and the glimmering streets, and the noisy idlers sauntering to and fro in the procession of their dismal festival. But he was murmuring to himself some words that seemed a magic song, and it was with uplifted heart that he let himself into his house.

There was something in the old-world charm of Acton that calmed his mind and drew it away from unpleasant thoughts. After making his way through layer after layer of brick and escaping the harsh shouts and laughter of the people having fun, he found a small, sheltered field and sat down peacefully under a tree, where he could gaze out at a lovely valley. The sun dipped below the hills, and the clouds transformed into shapes resembling blooming rose gardens. He remained there as darkness settled in, until a cool breeze brushed against him. With a sigh, he stood up and headed back to the brick walls and shimmering streets, passing the noisy people wandering around in their dreary festival. But he was softly humming some words that felt like a magical song, and he entered his house with a lifted spirit.

Mrs. Nixon had gone an hour and a half before his return, Mary told him. Darnell sighed with relief, and he and his wife strolled out into the garden and sat down side by side.

Mrs. Nixon had left an hour and a half before he got back, Mary told him. Darnell sighed with relief, and he and his wife walked out into the garden and sat down next to each other.

They kept silence for a time, and at last Mary spoke, not without a nervous tremor in her voice.

They were quiet for a while, and finally Mary spoke, her voice trembling with nerves.

'I must tell you, Edward,' she began, 'that aunt has made a proposal which you ought to hear. I think we should consider it.'

'I have to tell you, Edward,' she started, 'that Aunt has made a proposal that you need to hear. I think we should think about it.'

'A proposal? But how about the whole affair? Is it still going on?'

'A proposal? But what about the entire situation? Is it still happening?'

'Oh, yes! She told me all about it. Uncle is quite unrepentant. It seems he has taken a flat somewhere in town for that woman, and furnished it in the most costly manner. He simply laughs at aunt's reproaches, and says he means to have some fun at last. You saw how broken she was?'

'Oh, yes! She shared everything with me. Uncle is totally unrepentant. Apparently, he's rented an apartment somewhere in town for that woman and decorated it in the fanciest way possible. He just laughs off aunt's accusations and says he finally wants to enjoy himself. You saw how devastated she was?'

'Yes; very sad. But won't he give her any money? Wasn't she very badly dressed for a woman in her position?'

'Yeah, that's really sad. But isn’t he going to give her any money? Didn’t she look really poorly dressed for someone in her situation?'

'Aunt has no end of beautiful things, but I fancy she likes to hoard them; she has a horror of spoiling her dresses. It isn't for want of money, I assure you, as uncle settled a very large sum on her two years ago, when he was everything that could be desired as a husband. And that brings me to what I want to say.[76] Aunt would like to live with us. She would pay very liberally. What do you say?'

'Aunt has a ton of beautiful things, but I think she likes to keep them all to herself; she’s really afraid of ruining her dresses. It’s not because she doesn’t have money, I promise you, since uncle gave her a substantial amount two years ago, when he was the perfect husband. And that leads me to what I want to say.[76] Aunt would like to live with us. She would pay very generously. What do you think?'

'Would like to live with us?' exclaimed Darnell, and his pipe dropped from his hand on to the grass. He was stupefied by the thought of Aunt Marian as a boarder, and sat staring vacantly before him, wondering what new monster the night would next produce.

"Would you like to live with us?" Darnell exclaimed, dropping his pipe onto the grass. He was shocked by the idea of Aunt Marian as a boarder and sat staring blankly ahead, wondering what new surprise the night would bring.

'I knew you wouldn't much like the idea,' his wife went on. 'But I do think, dearest, that we ought not to refuse without very serious consideration. I am afraid you did not take to poor aunt very much.'

'I knew you wouldn't really like the idea,' his wife continued. 'But I honestly think, darling, that we shouldn't say no without giving it serious thought. I'm worried that you didn't have much affection for poor Aunt.'

Darnell shook his head dumbly.

Darnell shook his head in disbelief.

'I thought you didn't; she was so upset, poor thing, and you didn't see her at her best. She is really so good. But listen to me, dear. Do you think we have the right to refuse her offer? I told you she has money of her own, and I am sure she would be dreadfully offended if we said we wouldn't have her. And what would become of me if anything happened to you? You know we have very little saved.'

'I thought you didn't; she was so upset, poor thing, and you didn't see her at her best. She is really so good. But listen to me, dear. Do you think we have the right to refuse her offer? I told you she has her own money, and I'm sure she would be really offended if we said we wouldn’t accept her help. And what would happen to me if anything happened to you? You know we have very little saved.'

Darnell groaned.

Darnell sighed.

'It seems to me,' he said, 'that it would spoil everything. We are so happy, Mary dear, by ourselves. Of course I am extremely sorry for your aunt. I think she is very much to be pitied. But when it comes to having her always here——'

'It seems to me,' he said, 'that it would ruin everything. We are so happy, Mary dear, just the two of us. Of course, I really feel for your aunt. I think she deserves a lot of sympathy. But when it comes to having her here all the time——'

'I know, dear. Don't think I am looking forward to the prospect; you know I don't want anybody but you. Still, we ought to think of the future, and besides we shall be able to live so very much better. I shall be able to give you all sorts of nice things that I know you ought to have after all that hard work in the City. Our income would be doubled.'[77]

'I know, dear. Don’t think I’m excited about it; you know I don’t want anyone but you. Still, we should think about the future, and besides, we’ll be able to live much better. I’ll be able to give you all sorts of nice things that I know you deserve after all that hard work in the City. Our income would be doubled.'[77]

'Do you mean she would pay us £150 a year?'

'Are you saying she would pay us £150 a year?'

'Certainly. And she would pay for the spare room being furnished, and any extra she might want. She told me, specially, that if a friend or two came now and again to see her, she would gladly bear the cost of a fire in the drawing-room, and give something towards the gas bill, with a few shillings for the girl for any additional trouble. We should certainly be more than twice as well off as we are now. You see, Edward, dear, it's not the sort of offer we are likely to have again. Besides, we must think of the future, as I said. Do you know aunt took a great fancy to you?'

'Sure. And she would cover the cost of furnishing the spare room and anything extra she might want. She specifically told me that if a friend or two came by to see her now and then, she would happily take care of the cost of a fire in the living room and chip in for the gas bill, along with a few shillings for the girl for any extra work. We would definitely be more than twice as well off as we are now. You see, Edward, dear, this is not the kind of offer we’re likely to get again. Plus, we have to think about the future, like I said. Do you know that Aunt really took a liking to you?'

He shuddered and said nothing, and his wife went on with her argument.

He shuddered and stayed silent, while his wife continued with her argument.

'And, you see, it isn't as if we should see so very much of her. She will have her breakfast in bed, and she told me she would often go up to her room in the evening directly after dinner. I thought that very nice and considerate. She quite understands that we shouldn't like to have a third person always with us. Don't you think, Edward, that, considering everything, we ought to say we will have her?'

'And, you see, it’s not like we’ll be seeing her all the time. She’ll have her breakfast in bed, and she mentioned that she’d often go up to her room right after dinner. I thought that was very nice and thoughtful. She understands that we wouldn’t want a third person always around. Don’t you think, Edward, that given everything, we should say we’ll have her?'

'Oh, I suppose so,' he groaned. 'As you say, it's a very good offer, financially, and I am afraid it would be very imprudent to refuse. But I don't like the notion, I confess.'

'Oh, I guess so,' he sighed. 'Like you said, it’s a really good offer, money-wise, and I’m afraid it would be pretty foolish to turn it down. But I don’t like the idea, I’ll admit.'

'I am so glad you agree with me, dear. Depend upon it, it won't be half so bad as you think. And putting our own advantage on one side, we shall really be doing poor aunt a very great kindness. Poor old dear, she cried bitterly after you were gone; she said she had made up her mind not to stay any longer in Uncle Robert's house, and she didn't know where to[78] go, or what would become of her, if we refused to take her in. She quite broke down.'

"I'm really glad you agree with me, dear. Trust me, it won't be nearly as bad as you think. And putting our own needs aside, we’ll actually be doing our poor aunt a huge favor. Poor thing, she cried a lot after you left; she said she had decided not to stay in Uncle Robert's house any longer, and she didn’t know where to[78] go or what would happen to her if we didn’t take her in. She completely fell apart."

'Well, well; we will try it for a year, anyhow. It may be as you say; we shan't find it quite so bad as it seems now. Shall we go in?'

'Well, well; we’ll give it a try for a year, anyway. It might be as you say; it might not be as bad as it seems right now. Should we go in?'

He stooped for his pipe, which lay as it had fallen, on the grass. He could not find it, and lit a wax match which showed him the pipe, and close beside it, under the seat, something that looked like a page torn from a book. He wondered what it could be, and picked it up.

He bent down to grab his pipe, which had fallen onto the grass. He couldn't find it, so he lit a wax match that revealed the pipe and, right next to it, something that looked like a page ripped from a book under the seat. He was curious about what it could be and picked it up.

The gas was lit in the drawing-room, and Mrs. Darnell, who was arranging some notepaper, wished to write at once to Mrs. Nixon, cordially accepting her proposal, when she was startled by an exclamation from her husband.

The gas was turned on in the living room, and Mrs. Darnell, who was organizing some notepaper, wanted to write to Mrs. Nixon right away, warmly accepting her offer, when she was taken aback by an exclamation from her husband.

'What is the matter?' she said, startled by the tone of his voice. 'You haven't hurt yourself?'

'What's wrong?' she asked, taken aback by the tone of his voice. 'You didn't hurt yourself, did you?'

'Look at this,' he replied, handing her a small leaflet; 'I found it under the garden seat just now.'

'Check this out,' he said, giving her a small leaflet; 'I just found it under the garden bench.'

Mary glanced with bewilderment at her husband and read as follows:—

Mary looked at her husband in confusion and read the following:—

THE NEW AND CHOSEN SEED OF ABRAHAM

THE NEW AND CHOSEN SEED OF ABRAHAM

PROPHECIES TO BE FULFILLED IN THE PRESENT YEAR

PROPHECIES TO BE FULFILLED IN THE PRESENT YEAR

1. The Sailing of a Fleet of One hundred and Forty and Four Vessels for Tarshish and the Isles.[79]

1. The Departure of a Fleet of One Hundred and Forty-Four Ships to Tarshish and the Islands.[79]

2. Destruction of the Power of the Dog, including all the instruments of anti-Abrahamic legislation.

2. Destruction of the Power of the Dog, including all the tools of anti-Abrahamic legislation.

3. Return of the Fleet from Tarshish, bearing with it the gold of Arabia, destined to be the Foundation of the New City of Abraham.

3. The fleet returned from Tarshish, carrying the gold from Arabia, meant to be the foundation of the New City of Abraham.

4. The Search for the Bride, and the bestowing of the Seals on the Seventy and Seven.

4. The Quest for the Bride, and the giving of the Seals to the Seventy and Seven.

5. The Countenance of Father to become luminous, but with a greater glory than the face of Moses.

5. The face of Dad will shine brightly, with even more glory than the face of Moses.

6. The Pope of Rome to be stoned with stones in the valley called Berek-Zittor.

6. The Pope of Rome is to be stoned with stones in the valley called Berek-Zittor.

7. Father to be acknowledged by Three Great Rulers. Two Great Rulers will deny Father, and will immediately perish in the Effluvia of Father's Indignation.

7. Dad will be recognized by Three Great Rulers. Two Great Rulers will reject Dad, and will quickly face destruction in the Outpouring of Dad's Anger.

8. Binding of the Beast with the Little Horn, and all Judges cast down.

8. The Beast is Bound with the Little Horn, and all Judges are thrown down.

9. Finding of the Bride in the Land of Egypt, which has been revealed to Father as now existing in the western part of London.

9. Finding of the Bride in the Land of Egypt, which has been revealed to Dad as now located in the western part of London.

10. Bestowal of the New Tongue on the Seventy and Seven, and on the One Hundred and Forty and Four. Father proceeds to the Bridal Chamber.

10. Giving the New Language to the Seventy-Seven and the One Hundred Forty-Four. Dad goes to the Bridal Chamber.

11. Destruction of London and rebuilding of the City called No, which is the New City of Abraham.

11. Destruction of London and rebuilding of the City called No, which is the New City of Abraham.

12. Father united to the Bride, and the present Earth removed to the Sun for the space of half an hour.

12. Dad connected with the Bride, and the current Earth moved to the Sun for half an hour.

Mrs. Darnell's brow cleared as she read matter which seemed to her harmless if incoherent. From her husband's voice she had been led to fear something more tangibly unpleasant than a vague catena of prophecies.

Mrs. Darnell's expression relaxed as she read content that seemed harmless, even if it was a bit confusing. Her husband's tone had made her worried about something much more unpleasant than a vague string of predictions.

'Well,' she said, 'what about it?'

'Well,' she said, 'what do you think?'

'What about it? Don't you see that your aunt dropped it, and that she must be a raging lunatic?'

'What about it? Don't you realize that your aunt dropped it, and that she must be completely crazy?'

'Oh, Edward! don't say that. In the first place, how do you know that aunt dropped it at all? It might easily have blown over from any of the other gardens. And, if it were hers, I don't think you should call her a lunatic. I don't believe, myself, that there are any real prophets now; but there are many good people who think quite differently. I knew an old lady once who, I am sure, was very good, and she took in a paper every week that was full of prophecies and things very like this. Nobody called her mad, and I have heard father say that she had one of the sharpest heads for business he had ever come across.'

'Oh, Edward! Don’t say that. First of all, how do you know that aunt dropped it at all? It could have easily blown over from any of the other gardens. And even if it was hers, I don’t think you should call her a lunatic. I don’t believe, myself, that there are any real prophets now; but there are plenty of good people who think very differently. I knew an old lady once who I’m sure was very good, and she subscribed to a newspaper every week that was filled with prophecies and things similar to this. Nobody called her crazy, and I’ve heard dad say that she had one of the sharpest business minds he had ever come across.'

'Very good; have it as you like. But I believe we shall both be sorry.'

'That's fine; do what you want. But I think we'll both regret it.'

They sat in silence for some time. Alice came in after her 'evening out,' and they sat on, till Mrs. Darnell said she was tired and wanted to go to bed.

They sat in silence for a while. After her 'evening out,' Alice came in, and they continued to sit until Mrs. Darnell said she was tired and wanted to go to bed.

Her husband kissed her. 'I don't think I will come up just yet,' he said; 'you go to sleep, dearest. I want to think things over. No, no; I am not going to change my mind: your aunt shall come, as I said. But there are one or two things I should like to get settled in my mind.'

Her husband kissed her. "I don’t think I’ll come up just yet," he said. "You go to sleep, sweetheart. I want to think things through. No, no; I’m not going to change my mind: your aunt will come, like I said. But there are a couple of things I’d like to sort out in my head."

He meditated for a long while, pacing up and down the room. Light after light was extinguished in Edna[81] Road, and the people of the suburb slept all around him, but still the gas was alight in Darnell's drawing-room, and he walked softly up and down the floor. He was thinking that about the life of Mary and himself, which had been so quiet, there seemed to be gathering on all sides grotesque and fantastic shapes, omens of confusion and disorder, threats of madness; a strange company from another world. It was as if into the quiet, sleeping streets of some little ancient town among the hills there had come from afar the sound of drum and pipe, snatches of wild song, and there had burst into the market-place the mad company of the players, strangely bedizened, dancing a furious measure to their hurrying music, drawing forth the citizens from their sheltered homes and peaceful lives, and alluring them to mingle in the significant figures of their dance.

He paced back and forth in the room, deep in thought. One by one, the lights went out on Edna[81] Road, and the people in the neighborhood were sleeping all around him, but the gas was still lit in Darnell's living room, and he moved quietly across the floor. He was reflecting on the life he shared with Mary, which had been so peaceful, yet now it felt like strange and bizarre shapes were crowding in from all sides—omens of chaos and confusion, hints of madness; an odd crowd from another realm. It was as if the quiet, sleeping streets of a small, ancient town in the hills had suddenly heard the distant sound of drums and pipes, snippets of wild songs, and then the chaotic group of performers burst into the marketplace, dressed in bizarre costumes, dancing energetically to their frantic music, drawing the townspeople out from their cozy homes and tranquil lives, tempting them to join in the meaningful dance.

Yet afar and near (for it was hidden in his heart) he beheld the glimmer of a sure and constant star. Beneath, darkness came on, and mists and shadows closed about the town. The red, flickering flame of torches was kindled in the midst of it. The song grew louder, with more insistent, magical tones, surging and falling in unearthly modulations, the very speech of incantation; and the drum beat madly, and the pipe shrilled to a scream, summoning all to issue forth, to leave their peaceful hearths; for a strange rite was preconized in their midst. The streets that were wont to be so still, so hushed with the cool and tranquil veils of darkness, asleep beneath the patronage of the evening star, now danced with glimmering lanterns, resounded with the cries of those who hurried forth, drawn as by a magistral spell; and the[82] songs swelled and triumphed, the reverberant beating of the drum grew louder, and in the midst of the awakened town the players, fantastically arrayed, performed their interlude under the red blaze of torches. He knew not whether they were players, men that would vanish suddenly as they came, disappearing by the track that climbed the hill; or whether they were indeed magicians, workers of great and efficacious spells, who knew the secret word by which the earth may be transformed into the hall of Gehenna, so that they that gazed and listened, as at a passing spectacle, should be entrapped by the sound and the sight presented to them, should be drawn into the elaborated figures of that mystic dance, and so should be whirled away into those unending mazes on the wild hills that were abhorred, there to wander for evermore.

Yet far and near (for it was hidden in his heart) he saw the glow of a steady and constant star. Below, darkness fell, and mists and shadows surrounded the town. The red flickering flame of torches was lit in the middle of it. The song grew louder, with more insistent, magical tones, rising and falling in otherworldly rhythms, the very language of incantation; and the drum beat wildly, and the pipe shrieked to a scream, calling everyone to come out, to leave their cozy homes; for a strange rite was being announced among them. The streets, which were usually so quiet, so serene under the tranquil veil of darkness, asleep beneath the evening star's protection, now danced with shining lanterns, filled with the shouts of those rushing out, drawn in by a powerful spell; and the songs swelled and celebrated, the pounding of the drum grew louder, and in the midst of the awakened town, the performers, fantastically dressed, staged their interlude under the bright glow of torches. He didn't know if they were actors, people who would suddenly vanish as they had appeared, disappearing along the path that led up the hill; or if they were truly magicians, creators of powerful and effective spells, who knew the secret words that could turn the earth into a hall of doom, so that those who watched and listened, as if at a passing show, would be entranced by the sound and the sights presented to them, drawn into the intricate figures of that mystical dance, and thus be swept away into those endless mazes on the wild hills that were dreaded, to wander there forever.

But Darnell was not afraid, because of the Daystar that had risen in his heart. It had dwelt there all his life, and had slowly shone forth with clearer and clearer light, and he began to see that though his earthly steps might be in the ways of the ancient town that was beset by the Enchanters, and resounded with their songs and their processions, yet he dwelt also in that serene and secure world of brightness, and from a great and unutterable height looked on the confusion of the mortal pageant, beholding mysteries in which he was no true actor, hearing magic songs that could by no means draw him down from the battlements of the high and holy city.

But Darnell wasn’t afraid, thanks to the Daystar that had risen in his heart. It had been there his whole life, gradually shining brighter and brighter, and he started to realize that even though his earthly journey might take him through the ancient town filled with Enchanters, echoing with their songs and parades, he also existed in that calm and safe world of light. From a great and indescribable height, he viewed the chaos of the mortal show, witnessing mysteries in which he was not a true participant, hearing magical songs that couldn’t possibly pull him down from the heights of the high and holy city.

His heart was filled with a great joy and a great peace as he lay down beside his wife and fell asleep, and in the morning, when he woke up, he was glad.[83]

His heart was filled with immense joy and peace as he lay down next to his wife and fell asleep, and in the morning, when he woke up, he felt glad.[83]

IV

In a haze as of a dream Darnell's thoughts seemed to move through the opening days of the next week. Perhaps nature had not intended that he should be practical or much given to that which is usually called 'sound common sense,' but his training had made him desirous of good, plain qualities of the mind, and he uneasily strove to account to himself for his strange mood of the Sunday night, as he had often endeavoured to interpret the fancies of his boyhood and early manhood. At first he was annoyed by his want of success; the morning paper, which he always secured as the 'bus delayed at Uxbridge Road Station, fell from his hands unread, while he vainly reasoned, assuring himself that the threatened incursion of a whimsical old woman, though tiresome enough, was no rational excuse for those curious hours of meditation in which his thoughts seemed to have dressed themselves in unfamiliar, fantastic habits, and to parley with him in a strange speech, and yet a speech that he had understood.

In a dreamlike haze, Darnell's thoughts drifted through the early days of the upcoming week. Maybe nature hadn't meant for him to be practical or to lean towards what’s typically called 'common sense,' but his upbringing had made him crave solid, straightforward qualities of the mind. He felt uneasy as he tried to figure out his weird mood from Sunday night, just as he had often tried to make sense of the dreams from his childhood and early adulthood. At first, he was frustrated by his inability to find clarity; the morning paper, which he always grabbed while waiting for the bus at Uxbridge Road Station, slipped from his hands unread. He tried to reason with himself, convincing himself that the looming presence of a quirky old woman, though annoying, wasn’t a valid excuse for those bizarre hours of reflection in which his thoughts seemed to take on strange, fantastical shapes and communicated with him in an odd language that he somehow understood.

With such arguments he perplexed his mind on the long, accustomed ride up the steep ascent of Holland Park, past the incongruous hustle of Notting Hill Gate, where in one direction a road shows the way to the snug, somewhat faded bowers and retreats of Bayswater, and in another one sees the portal of the murky region of the slums. The customary companions of his morning's journey were in the seats about him; he[84] heard the hum of their talk, as they disputed concerning politics, and the man next to him, who came from Acton, asked him what he thought of the Government now. There was a discussion, and a loud and excited one, just in front, as to whether rhubarb was a fruit or vegetable, and in his ear he heard Redman, who was a near neighbour, praising the economy of 'the wife.'

With these thoughts, he lost himself in the familiar ride up the steep hill of Holland Park, passing the busy scene at Notting Hill Gate, where one road leads to the cozy, slightly worn hideaways of Bayswater, and another leads to the gloomy area of the slums. The usual companions on his morning journey sat around him; he heard their chatter as they debated politics, and the man next to him, from Acton, asked for his opinion on the Government now. There was a loud and heated discussion right in front of them about whether rhubarb is a fruit or a vegetable, and he heard Redman, his neighbor, praising the efficiency of "the wife."

'I don't know how she does it. Look here; what do you think we had yesterday? Breakfast: fish-cakes, beautifully fried—rich, you know, lots of herbs, it's a receipt of her aunt's; you should just taste 'em. Coffee, bread, butter, marmalade, and, of course, all the usual etceteras. Dinner: roast beef, Yorkshire, potatoes, greens, and horse-radish sauce, plum tart, cheese. And where will you get a better dinner than that? Well, I call it wonderful, I really do.'

'I don't know how she does it. Look, what do you think we had yesterday? For breakfast: fish cakes, perfectly fried—rich, you know, with lots of herbs, it’s a recipe from her aunt; you have to try them. Coffee, bread, butter, marmalade, and, of course, all the usual extras. For dinner: roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, potatoes, greens, and horseradish sauce, followed by plum tart and cheese. And where can you find a better dinner than that? I think it's amazing, I really do.'

But in spite of these distractions he fell into a dream as the 'bus rolled and tossed on its way Citywards, and still he strove to solve the enigma of his vigil of the night before, and as the shapes of trees and green lawns and houses passed before his eyes, and as he saw the procession moving on the pavement, and while the murmur of the streets sounded in his ears, all was to him strange and unaccustomed, as if he moved through the avenues of some city in a foreign land. It was, perhaps, on these mornings, as he rode to his mechanical work, that vague and floating fancies that must have long haunted his brain began to shape themselves, and to put on the form of definite conclusions, from which he could no longer escape, even if he had wished it. Darnell had received what is called a sound commercial education, and would therefore have found very great difficulty in putting into[85] articulate speech any thought that was worth thinking; but he grew certain on these mornings that the 'common sense' which he had always heard exalted as man's supremest faculty was, in all probability, the smallest and least-considered item in the equipment of an ant of average intelligence. And with this, as an almost necessary corollary, came a firm belief that the whole fabric of life in which he moved was sunken, past all thinking, in the grossest absurdity; that he and all his friends and acquaintances and fellow-workers were interested in matters in which men were never meant to be interested, were pursuing aims which they were never meant to pursue, were, indeed, much like fair stones of an altar serving as a pigsty wall. Life, it seemed to him, was a great search for—he knew not what; and in the process of the ages one by one the true marks upon the ways had been shattered, or buried, or the meaning of the words had been slowly forgotten; one by one the signs had been turned awry, the true entrances had been thickly overgrown, the very way itself had been diverted from the heights to the depths, till at last the race of pilgrims had become hereditary stone-breakers and ditch-scourers on a track that led to destruction—if it led anywhere at all. Darnell's heart thrilled with a strange and trembling joy, with a sense that was all new, when it came to his mind that this great loss might not be a hopeless one, that perhaps the difficulties were by no means insuperable. It might be, he considered, that the stone-breaker had merely to throw down his hammer and set out, and the way would be plain before him; and a single step would free the delver in rubbish from the foul slime of the ditch.[86]

But despite these distractions, he fell into a daydream as the bus rocked and rolled on its way to the city. He continued trying to figure out the mystery of his restless night before, and as trees, green lawns, and houses flashed by, as he saw the crowd moving on the sidewalk, and while the sounds of the streets filled his ears, everything felt strange and unfamiliar, as if he were walking through the streets of a city in a foreign country. It was perhaps during these morning rides to his monotonous job that vague and lingering thoughts that had haunted him for a long time began to take shape, turning into clear conclusions he couldn’t escape, even if he wanted to. Darnell had received what’s called a solid commercial education, making it really hard for him to put into clear words any thought that was worth having; but he became increasingly certain during these mornings that the 'common sense' he had always heard praised as humanity's greatest skill was probably one of the least significant aspects of even an average ant's intelligence. Along with this realization came a strong belief that the entire life he lived was sunk, beyond comprehension, in the most absurd trivialities; that he and all his friends, acquaintances, and coworkers were focused on things that humans were never meant to care about, chasing goals they were never meant to pursue, and were essentially like fair stones of an altar that ended up as a pigsty wall. Life, he felt, was a huge hunt for—he wasn’t sure what; and throughout the ages, one by one, the true signs along the paths had been shattered, buried, or the meanings of the words had been slowly forgotten; one by one, the signs had been misaligned, the true entrances had become overgrown, the very path had shifted from the heights to the depths, until finally the group of pilgrims had turned into hereditary stone-breakers and ditch-diggers on a road leading to destruction—if it led anywhere at all. Darnell's heart raced with a strange and trembling joy, a feeling that was completely new, when it occurred to him that this great loss might not be hopeless, that perhaps the challenges were not insurmountable. He thought it might be that the stone-breaker just had to drop his hammer and set out, and the way would be clear before him; and a single step could free the person digging through trash from the filthy muck of the ditch.[86]

It was, of course, with difficulty and slowly that these things became clear to him. He was an English City clerk, 'flourishing' towards the end of the nineteenth century, and the rubbish heap that had been accumulating for some centuries could not be cleared away in an instant. Again and again the spirit of nonsense that had been implanted in him as in his fellows assured him that the true world was the visible and tangible world, the world in which good and faithful letter-copying was exchangeable for a certain quantum of bread, beef, and house-room, and that the man who copied letters well, did not beat his wife, nor lose money foolishly, was a good man, fulfilling the end for which he had been made. But in spite of these arguments, in spite of their acceptance by all who were about him, he had the grace to perceive the utter falsity and absurdity of the whole position. He was fortunate in his entire ignorance of sixpenny 'science,' but if the whole library had been projected into his brain it would not have moved him to 'deny in the darkness that which he had known in the light.' Darnell knew by experience that man is made a mystery for mysteries and visions, for the realization in his consciousness of ineffable bliss, for a great joy that transmutes the whole world, for a joy that surpasses all joys and overcomes all sorrows. He knew this certainly, though he knew it dimly; and he was apart from other men, preparing himself for a great experiment.

It was, of course, difficult and slow for him to understand these things. He was an English city clerk, thriving towards the end of the nineteenth century, and the pile of nonsense that had built up over centuries couldn’t just be cleared away in an instant. Time and again, the nonsense that had been ingrained in him like in his peers convinced him that the real world was the visible and tangible one—the world where diligent letter-copying could be traded for a decent amount of bread, meat, and a place to live. According to that view, a man who copied letters well, didn't abuse his wife, and wasn't reckless with money was a good man, fulfilling his purpose. But despite these arguments, and despite everyone around him accepting them, he had the insight to see the complete falseness and absurdity of it all. He was lucky to have no understanding of cheap 'science,' but even if a whole library of knowledge had been dumped into his mind, it wouldn't have made him "deny in the darkness what he had known in the light." Darnell knew from experience that humans are created to be a mystery, meant for mysteries and visions, for experiencing a profound bliss that transforms the entire world, a joy that is greater than all joys and conquers all sorrows. He knew this for sure, even if he grasped it in a vague way, and he was different from other people, getting ready for a significant experiment.

With such thoughts as these for his secret and concealed treasure, he was able to bear the threatened invasion of Mrs. Nixon with something approaching indifference. He knew, indeed, that her presence between[87] his wife and himself would be unwelcome to him, and he was not without grave doubts as to the woman's sanity; but after all, what did it matter? Besides, already a faint glimmering light had risen within him that showed the profit of self-negation, and in this matter he had preferred his wife's will to his own. Et non sua poma; to his astonishment he found a delight in denying himself his own wish, a process that he had always regarded as thoroughly detestable. This was a state of things which he could not in the least understand; but, again, though a member of a most hopeless class, living in the most hopeless surroundings that the world has ever seen, though he knew as much of the askesis as of Chinese metaphysics; again, he had the grace not to deny the light that had begun to glimmer in his soul.

With thoughts like these as his hidden treasure, he managed to handle the impending intrusion of Mrs. Nixon with a sense of indifference. He knew, of course, that her presence between[87] his wife and him would be unwelcome, and he had serious doubts about the woman's sanity; but in the end, did it really matter? Plus, a faint glimmer of understanding had begun to light up inside him, showing him the benefits of putting others first. In this situation, he chose his wife's wishes over his own. Et non sua poma; to his surprise, he found joy in denying his own desires, a process he had always thought was completely repulsive. This was a reality he couldn’t quite grasp; yet, even as a member of a hopeless class, living in the most desperate conditions the world has ever seen, and knowing as much about askesis as about Chinese metaphysics, he had the grace not to reject the light that had started to flicker in his soul.

And he found a present reward in the eyes of Mary, when she welcomed him home after his foolish labours in the cool of the evening. They sat together, hand in hand, under the mulberry tree, at the coming of the dusk, and as the ugly walls about them became obscure and vanished into the formless world of shadows, they seemed to be freed from the bondage of Shepherd's Bush, freed to wander in that undisfigured, undefiled world that lies beyond the walls. Of this region Mary knew little or nothing by experience, since her relations had always been of one mind with the modern world, which has for the true country an instinctive and most significant horror and dread. Mr. Reynolds had also shared in another odd superstition of these later days—that it is necessary to leave London at least once a year; consequently Mary had some knowledge of various seaside resorts on the south and east[88] coasts, where Londoners gather in hordes, turn the sands into one vast, bad music-hall, and derive, as they say, enormous benefit from the change. But experiences such as these give but little knowledge of the country in its true and occult sense; and yet Mary, as she sat in the dusk beneath the whispering tree, knew something of the secret of the wood, of the valley shut in by high hills, where the sound of pouring water always echoes from the clear brook. And to Darnell these were nights of great dreams; for it was the hour of the work, the time of transmutation, and he who could not understand the miracle, who could scarcely believe in it, yet knew, secretly and half consciously, that the water was being changed into the wine of a new life. This was ever the inner music of his dreams, and to it he added on these still and sacred nights the far-off memory of that time long ago when, a child, before the world had overwhelmed him, he journeyed down to the old grey house in the west, and for a whole month heard the murmur of the forest through his bedroom window, and when the wind was hushed, the washing of the tides about the reeds; and sometimes awaking very early he had heard the strange cry of a bird as it rose from its nest among the reeds, and had looked out and had seen the valley whiten to the dawn, and the winding river whiten as it swam down to the sea. The memory of all this had faded and become shadowy as he grew older and the chains of common life were riveted firmly about his soul; all the atmosphere by which he was surrounded was well-nigh fatal to such thoughts, and only now and again in half-conscious moments or in sleep he had revisited that valley in the far-off west, where the breath of[89] the wind was an incantation, and every leaf and stream and hill spoke of great and ineffable mysteries. But now the broken vision was in great part restored to him, and looking with love in his wife's eyes he saw the gleam of water-pools in the still forest, saw the mists rising in the evening, and heard the music of the winding river.

And he found a true reward in Mary’s eyes when she welcomed him home after his foolish efforts in the cool of the evening. They sat together, hand in hand, under the mulberry tree as dusk fell, and as the ugly walls around them grew dim and disappeared into the shapeless world of shadows, they felt free from the binds of Shepherd's Bush, free to explore that untouched, pure world beyond the walls. Mary knew little or nothing of this place from experience, as her family had always been in line with the modern world, which instinctively viewed true nature with a significant horror and dread. Mr. Reynolds had also held onto a strange superstition of these later years—that it was necessary to leave London at least once a year; as a result, Mary had some experience with various seaside resorts on the south and east coasts, where Londoners flock in droves, turning the sands into one big, bad variety show, and claiming, as they said, to gain enormous benefits from the change. But experiences like these offered little understanding of the countryside in its true and deeper sense; yet, as Mary sat in the dusk beneath the whispering tree, she sensed something of the wood’s secret, of the valley enclosed by high hills, where the sound of rushing water always echoed from the clear brook. And for Darnell, these were nights filled with vivid dreams; it was the hour of creativity, the time of transformation, and he, who could not grasp the miracle, who could barely believe in it, still secretly understood, even if only partially, that the water was being changed into the wine of a new life. This was always the underlying melody of his dreams, and during these calm and sacred nights, he added to it the distant memory of a time long ago when, as a child, before the world had overwhelmed him, he traveled down to the old grey house in the west and for an entire month heard the murmurs of the forest through his bedroom window. When the wind was still, he could hear the tides washing against the reeds; and sometimes, waking very early, he’d heard the strange call of a bird rising from its nest among the reeds, and he’d looked out to see the valley turning white with dawn and the winding river glowing as it flowed down to the sea. All these memories had faded and grown shadowy as he aged and the chains of ordinary life firmly wrapped around his soul; the atmosphere surrounding him was almost fatal to such thoughts, and only occasionally, in half-conscious moments or in sleep, did he revisit that valley in the distant west, where the wind's breath felt like an incantation, and every leaf, stream, and hill spoke of great, indescribable mysteries. But now that broken vision was largely restored to him, and looking into his wife’s loving eyes, he saw the glimmer of water pools in the still forest, saw the mists rising in the evening, and heard the music of the winding river.

They were sitting thus together on the Friday evening of the week that had begun with that odd and half-forgotten visit of Mrs. Nixon, when, to Darnell's annoyance, the door-bell gave a discordant peal, and Alice with some disturbance of manner came out and announced that a gentleman wished to see the master. Darnell went into the drawing-room, where Alice had lit one gas so that it flared and burnt with a rushing sound, and in this distorting light there waited a stout, elderly gentleman, whose countenance was altogether unknown to him. He stared blankly, and hesitated, about to speak, but the visitor began.

They were sitting together on Friday evening during the week that started with that strange and half-forgotten visit from Mrs. Nixon, when, to Darnell's annoyance, the doorbell rang loudly. Alice, looking a bit flustered, stepped out and said a gentleman wanted to see the master. Darnell went into the living room, where Alice had turned on one gaslight that flickered and crackled, casting an odd glow. In that strange light, a stout, older gentleman waited, someone Darnell had never seen before. He stared blankly and hesitated, as if he was about to say something, but the visitor started speaking first.

'You don't know who I am, but I expect you'll know my name. It's Nixon.'

'You may not know who I am, but I’m sure you’ll recognize my name. It’s Nixon.'

He did not wait to be interrupted. He sat down and plunged into narrative, and after the first few words, Darnell, whose mind was not altogether unprepared, listened without much astonishment.

He didn’t wait to be interrupted. He sat down and jumped straight into the story, and after the first few words, Darnell, whose mind was somewhat ready, listened without much surprise.

'And the long and the short of it is,' Mr. Nixon said at last, 'she's gone stark, staring mad, and we had to put her away to-day—poor thing.'

'In short,' Mr. Nixon said finally, 'she's completely lost her mind, and we had to put her away today—poor thing.'

His voice broke a little, and he wiped his eyes hastily, for though stout and successful he was not unfeeling, and he was fond of his wife. He had spoken quickly, and had gone lightly over many details which might have interested specialists in certain kinds of[90] mania, and Darnell was sorry for his evident distress.

His voice cracked a bit, and he quickly wiped his eyes, because although he was strong and successful, he wasn't heartless, and he cared for his wife. He had rushed through his words and skimmed over several details that might have interested experts in specific types of [90] mania, and Darnell felt bad for his obvious pain.

'I came here,' he went on after a brief pause, 'because I found out she had been to see you last Sunday, and I knew the sort of story she must have told.'

"I came here," he continued after a short pause, "because I found out she visited you last Sunday, and I knew what kind of story she must have shared."

Darnell showed him the prophetic leaflet which Mrs. Nixon had dropped in the garden. 'Did you know about this?' he said.

Darnell showed him the prophetic flyer that Mrs. Nixon had dropped in the garden. 'Did you know about this?' he asked.

'Oh, him,' said the old man, with some approach to cheerfulness; 'oh yes, I thrashed him black and blue the day before yesterday.'

'Oh, him,' said the old man, sounding a bit cheerful; 'oh yeah, I beat him up pretty badly the day before yesterday.'

'Isn't he mad? Who is the man?'

'Isn't he crazy? Who's the guy?'

'He's not mad, he's bad. He's a little Welsh skunk named Richards. He's been running some sort of chapel over at New Barnet for the last few years, and my poor wife—she never could find the parish church good enough for her—had been going to his damned schism shop for the last twelve-month. It was all that finished her off. Yes; I thrashed him the day before yesterday, and I'm not afraid of a summons either. I know him, and he knows I know him.'

'He's not crazy, he's just unpleasant. He's a little Welsh con artist named Richards. He's been running some sort of church in New Barnet for the past few years, and my poor wife—she never thought any parish church was good enough for her—had been attending his ridiculous split church for the last year. That's what really finished her off. Yes; I beat him up the day before yesterday, and I'm not worried about a court summons either. I know him, and he knows that I know him.'

Old Nixon whispered something in Darnell's ear, and chuckled faintly as he repeated for the third time his formula—

Old Nixon whispered something in Darnell's ear, and chuckled softly as he repeated for the third time his formula—

'I thrashed him black and blue the day before yesterday.'

'I beat him up pretty badly the day before yesterday.'

Darnell could only murmur condolences and express his hope that Mrs. Nixon might recover.

Darnell could only whisper his condolences and express his hope that Mrs. Nixon would get better.

The old man shook his head.

The old man shook his head.

'I'm afraid there's no hope of that,' he said. 'I've had the best advice, but they couldn't do anything, and told me so.'

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen," he said. "I've gotten the best advice, but they couldn't do anything and told me that."

Presently he asked to see his niece, and Darnell went out and prepared Mary as well as he could. She[91] could scarcely take in the news that her aunt was a hopeless maniac, for Mrs. Nixon, having been extremely stupid all her days, had naturally succeeded in passing with her relations as typically sensible. With the Reynolds family, as with the great majority of us, want of imagination is always equated with sanity, and though many of us have never heard of Lombroso we are his ready-made converts. We have always believed that poets are mad, and if statistics unfortunately show that few poets have really been inhabitants of lunatic asylums, it is soothing to learn that nearly all poets have had whooping-cough, which is doubtless, like intoxication, a minor madness.

Right now, he asked to see his niece, and Darnell went out and got Mary ready as best as he could. She[91] could hardly process the news that her aunt was a complete maniac, since Mrs. Nixon, having been pretty clueless her whole life, had naturally managed to come off as quite sensible to her family. With the Reynolds family, as with most people, a lack of imagination is always seen as a sign of sanity, and even though many of us have never heard of Lombroso, we are his willing followers. We have always thought that poets are crazy, and if statistics unfortunately show that few poets have actually lived in mental institutions, it's comforting to know that nearly all poets have had whooping cough, which is probably, like being drunk, a mild form of madness.

'But is it really true?' she asked at length. 'Are you certain uncle is not deceiving you? Aunt seemed so sensible always.'

'But is it really true?' she asked after a bit. 'Are you sure Uncle isn't misleading you? Aunt always seemed so sensible.'

She was helped at last by recollecting that Aunt Marian used to get up very early of mornings, and then they went into the drawing-room and talked to the old man. His evident kindliness and honesty grew upon Mary, in spite of a lingering belief in her aunt's fables, and when he left, it was with a promise to come to see them again.

She finally remembered that Aunt Marian used to wake up really early in the mornings, and then they would go into the living room and talk to the old man. His clear kindness and honesty impressed Mary, even though she still had some doubts about her aunt's stories, and when he left, he promised to come and visit them again.

Mrs. Darnell said she felt tired, and went to bed; and Darnell returned to the garden and began to pace to and fro, collecting his thoughts. His immeasurable relief at the intelligence that, after all, Mrs. Nixon was not coming to live with them taught him that, despite his submission, his dread of the event had been very great. The weight was removed, and now he was free to consider his life without reference to the grotesque intrusion that he had feared. He sighed for joy, and as he paced to and fro he savoured the[92] scent of the night, which, though it came faintly to him in that brick-bound suburb, summoned to his mind across many years the odour of the world at night as he had known it in that short sojourn of his boyhood; the odour that rose from the earth when the flame of the sun had gone down beyond the mountain, and the afterglow had paled in the sky and on the fields. And as he recovered as best he could these lost dreams of an enchanted land, there came to him other images of his childhood, forgotten and yet not forgotten, dwelling unheeded in dark places of the memory, but ready to be summoned forth. He remembered one fantasy that had long haunted him. As he lay half asleep in the forest on one hot afternoon of that memorable visit to the country, he had 'made believe' that a little companion had come to him out of the blue mists and the green light beneath the leaves—a white girl with long black hair, who had played with him and whispered her secrets in his ear, as his father lay sleeping under a tree; and from that summer afternoon, day by day, she had been beside him; she had visited him in the wilderness of London, and even in recent years there had come to him now and again the sense of her presence, in the midst of the heat and turmoil of the City. The last visit he remembered well; it was a few weeks before he married, and from the depths of some futile task he had looked up with puzzled eyes, wondering why the close air suddenly grew scented with green leaves, why the murmur of the trees and the wash of the river on the reeds came to his ears; and then that sudden rapture to which he had given a name and an individuality possessed him utterly. He knew then how the dull flesh of man can be like fire; and now,[93] looking back from a new standpoint on this and other experiences, he realized how all that was real in his life had been unwelcomed, uncherished by him, had come to him, perhaps, in virtue of merely negative qualities on his part. And yet, as he reflected, he saw that there had been a chain of witnesses all through his life: again and again voices had whispered in his ear words in a strange language that he now recognized as his native tongue; the common street had not been lacking in visions of the true land of his birth; and in all the passing and repassing of the world he saw that there had been emissaries ready to guide his feet on the way of the great journey.

Mrs. Darnell said she felt tired and went to bed; Darnell went back to the garden and started pacing back and forth, gathering his thoughts. His incredible relief at the news that Mrs. Nixon was not going to move in with them made him realize that, despite his compliance, he had been very anxious about it. The burden was lifted, and now he was free to think about his life without the looming presence he had dreaded. He sighed in joy, and as he walked back and forth, he enjoyed the scent of the night, which, although faint in that brick-filled suburb, reminded him of the world at night as he had known it in his brief childhood; the smell that rose from the ground when the sun had set beyond the mountains, and the afterglow had faded in the sky and fields. As he tried to recover those lost dreams of a magical place, other childhood memories came to him, forgotten yet not completely lost, lingering unnoticed in the dark corners of his memory, but ready to be pulled back. He recalled one fantasy that had haunted him for a long time. Lying half-asleep in the woods one hot afternoon during that memorable country visit, he had imagined that a little friend had appeared out of the blue mist and the green light filtering through the leaves—a white girl with long black hair, who played with him and whispered secrets in his ear while his father slept under a tree; and from that summer afternoon on, day after day, she had been with him; she'd visited him in the wilderness of London, and even in recent years, he sometimes felt her presence amidst the heat and chaos of the City. He clearly remembered the last visit; it was a few weeks before he got married, and from the depths of some pointless task, he looked up in confusion, wondering why the air suddenly smelled so fresh with green leaves, why the rustle of the trees and the sound of the river on the reeds reached his ears; then that sudden joy that he had named and given an identity overwhelmed him completely. He understood then how the dullness of man could ignite like fire; and now, looking back with a fresh perspective on this and other experiences, he realized how much of what was real in his life had been unwanted, unappreciated by him, coming to him perhaps just because he lacked positive qualities. Yet, as he thought about it, he recognized that there had always been a chain of witnesses throughout his life: time and again, voices had whispered in his ear words in a strange language that he now understood as his native tongue; the common street had not been devoid of visions of the true land of his birth; and in all the comings and goings of the world, he saw that there had been guides ready to lead him on the path of the great journey.

A week or two after the visit of Mr. Nixon, Darnell took his annual holiday.

A week or two after Mr. Nixon's visit, Darnell took his yearly vacation.

There was no question of Walton-on-the-Naze, or of anything of the kind, as he quite agreed with his wife's longing for some substantial sum put by against the evil day. But the weather was still fine, and he lounged away the time in his garden beneath the tree, or he sauntered out on long aimless walks in the western purlieus of London, not unvisited by that old sense of some great ineffable beauty, concealed by the dim and dingy veils of grey interminable streets. Once, on a day of heavy rain he went to the 'box-room,' and began to turn over the papers in the old hair trunk—scraps and odds and ends of family history, some of them in his father's handwriting, others in faded ink, and there were a few ancient pocket-books, filled with manuscript of a still earlier time, and in these the ink was glossier and blacker than any writing fluids supplied by stationers of later days. Darnell had hung up the portrait of the ancestor in this room, and had bought a[94] solid kitchen table and a chair; so that Mrs. Darnell, seeing him looking over his old documents, half thought of naming the room 'Mr. Darnell's study.' He had not glanced at these relics of his family for many years, but from the hour when the rainy morning sent him to them, he remained constant to research till the end of the holidays. It was a new interest, and he began to fashion in his mind a faint picture of his forefathers, and of their life in that grey old house in the river valley, in the western land of wells and streams and dark and ancient woods. And there were stranger things than mere notes on family history amongst that odd litter of old disregarded papers, and when he went back to his work in the City some of the men fancied that he was in some vague manner changed in appearance; but he only laughed when they asked him where he had been and what he had been doing with himself. But Mary noticed that every evening he spent at least an hour in the box-room; she was rather sorry at the waste of time involved in reading old papers about dead people. And one afternoon, as they were out together on a somewhat dreary walk towards Acton, Darnell stopped at a hopeless second-hand bookshop, and after scanning the rows of shabby books in the window, went in and purchased two volumes. They proved to be a Latin dictionary and grammar, and she was surprised to hear her husband declare his intention of acquiring the Latin language.

There was no question about Walton-on-the-Naze or anything like that, as he completely agreed with his wife's desire to save up a decent amount for rainy days. But the weather was still nice, and he spent his time lounging in the garden under the tree or taking long, pointless walks in the outskirts of London, sometimes feeling that old sense of great, indescribable beauty hidden behind the dull, endless grey streets. One day, when it rained heavily, he went to the 'box-room' and started going through the papers in an old hair trunk—scraps and bits of family history, some written in his father's handwriting, others in faded ink, and there were a few ancient notebooks filled with manuscripts from an even earlier time, where the ink was shinier and blacker than any ink supplied by modern stationers. Darnell had hung up a portrait of an ancestor in this room and bought a solid kitchen table and a chair, so that Mrs. Darnell, seeing him look through his old documents, half considered naming the room 'Mr. Darnell's study.' He hadn’t looked at these family relics in years, but from the moment the rainy morning drove him to them, he was dedicated to his research until the holidays ended. It was a new interest, and he started to form a vague picture of his ancestors and their life in that old grey house in the river valley, in the western region known for its wells, streams, and dark, ancient woods. And there were stranger things than just notes on family history among that odd collection of old neglected papers. When he returned to work in the City, some of the guys thought he looked somehow different; he just laughed when they asked where he had been and what he had been up to. But Mary noticed that every evening he spent at least an hour in the box-room; she was a bit annoyed at the time wasted reading old papers about people who were long gone. One afternoon, while they were out together on a rather dreary walk toward Acton, Darnell stopped at a dusty second-hand bookstore, and after looking through the shabby books in the window, he went in and bought two volumes. They turned out to be a Latin dictionary and grammar, and she was surprised to hear her husband say he intended to learn Latin.

But, indeed, all his conduct impressed her as indefinably altered; and she began to be a little alarmed, though she could scarcely have formed her fears in words. But she knew that in some way that was all[95] indefined and beyond the grasp of her thought their lives had altered since the summer, and no single thing wore quite the same aspect as before. If she looked out into the dull street with its rare loiterers, it was the same and yet it had altered, and if she opened the window in the early morning the wind that entered came with a changed breath that spoke some message that she could not understand. And day by day passed by in the old course, and not even the four walls were altogether familiar, and the voices of men and women sounded with strange notes, with the echo, rather, of a music that came over unknown hills. And day by day as she went about her household work, passing from shop to shop in those dull streets that were a network, a fatal labyrinth of grey desolation on every side, there came to her sense half-seen images of some other world, as if she walked in a dream, and every moment must bring her to light and to awakening, when the grey should fade, and regions long desired should appear in glory. Again and again it seemed as if that which was hidden would be shown even to the sluggish testimony of sense; and as she went to and fro from street to street of that dim and weary suburb, and looked on those grey material walls, they seemed as if a light glowed behind them, and again and again the mystic fragrance of incense was blown to her nostrils from across the verge of that world which is not so much impenetrable as ineffable, and to her ears came the dream of a chant that spoke of hidden choirs about all her ways. She struggled against these impressions, refusing her assent to the testimony of them, since all the pressure of credited opinion for three hundred[96] years has been directed towards stamping out real knowledge, and so effectually has this been accomplished that we can only recover the truth through much anguish. And so Mary passed the days in a strange perturbation, clinging to common things and common thoughts, as if she feared that one morning she would wake up in an unknown world to a changed life. And Edward Darnell went day by day to his labour and returned in the evening, always with that shining of light within his eyes and upon his face, with the gaze of wonder that was greater day by day, as if for him the veil grew thin and soon would disappear.

But, honestly, everything about him felt so different to her; she started to feel a bit uneasy, even though she could hardly put her worries into words. She realized that somehow, everything had changed since summer, and nothing seemed quite the same as before. When she looked out at the dull street with its few people hanging around, it was both familiar and yet altered. If she opened the window in the early morning, the wind that came in felt different, bringing some message that she couldn't quite grasp. Days passed in the same routine, but even the four walls felt unfamiliar, and the voices of men and women had strange tones, echoing like music from far-off hills. Each day, as she went about her chores, moving from shop to shop in those lifeless streets that formed a dismal maze around her, she glimpsed half-formed images of another world, as if she were walking in a dream, anticipating the moment when everything gray would fade, and the longed-for places would appear in their glory. Time and again, it felt like what was hidden would reveal itself, even to her slow senses; as she moved through the dim, weary neighborhood and glanced at the gray walls, they seemed to glow with light from within, and the sweet scent of incense would waft towards her from the edge of that world that wasn't just unreachable, but beyond words. She heard a distant chant suggesting hidden choirs following her all the way. She fought against these feelings, denying their truth, since for three hundred years, society has tried to suppress real knowledge, so effectively that recovering the truth has become a painful struggle. So, Mary spent her days in a strange agitation, clinging to mundane things and thoughts, as if she feared that one morning she might awaken in an unfamiliar world and a changed life. Meanwhile, Edward Darnell went to work every day and returned each evening, always with that light shining in his eyes and on his face, his look of wonder growing stronger each day, as if the veil between worlds was becoming thinner and would soon vanish.

From these great matters both in herself and in her husband Mary shrank back, afraid, perhaps, that if she began the question the answer might be too wonderful. She rather taught herself to be troubled over little things; she asked herself what attraction there could be in the old records over which she supposed Edward to be poring night after night in the cold room upstairs. She had glanced over the papers at Darnell's invitation, and could see but little interest in them; there were one or two sketches, roughly done in pen and ink, of the old house in the west: it looked a shapeless and fantastic place, furnished with strange pillars and stranger ornaments on the projecting porch; and on one side a roof dipped down almost to the earth, and in the centre there was something that might almost be a tower rising above the rest of the building. Then there were documents that seemed all names and dates, with here and there a coat of arms done in the margin, and she came upon a string of uncouth Welsh names linked together by the word 'ap' in a chain that looked endless. There was a paper[97] covered with signs and figures that meant nothing to her, and then there were the pocket-books, full of old-fashioned writing, and much of it in Latin, as her husband told her—it was a collection as void of significance as a treatise on conic sections, so far as Mary was concerned. But night after night Darnell shut himself up with the musty rolls, and more than ever when he rejoined her he bore upon his face the blazonry of some great adventure. And one night she asked him what interested him so much in the papers he had shown her.

From these big issues both in herself and in her husband, Mary pulled back, maybe afraid that if she started asking questions, the answers might be too amazing. Instead, she tried to focus on little things that bothered her; she questioned what could possibly attract Edward to the old records he seemed to study night after night in the cold room upstairs. She had skimmed through the papers at Darnell’s invitation and found little interest in them; there were a couple of rough sketches, drawn in pen and ink, of the old house in the west: it looked like a bizarre and unshapely place, decorated with strange pillars and even stranger ornaments on the jutting porch; one side of the roof sloped down almost to the ground, and in the center, there was something that could almost be considered a tower rising above the rest of the building. Then there were documents filled with names and dates, with a coat of arms here and there in the margins, and she stumbled upon a series of awkward Welsh names connected by the word 'ap' in what looked like an endless chain. There was a paper[97] covered with symbols and numbers that meant nothing to her, and then there were pocket-books filled with old-fashioned writing, much of it in Latin, as her husband had told her—it was a collection as meaningless to her as a treatise on conic sections. But night after night, Darnell locked himself away with the musty rolls, and even more so when he came back to her, he had the look of someone who had just returned from some grand adventure. And one night, she asked him what he found so interesting in the papers he had shown her.

He was delighted with the question. Somehow they had not talked much together for the last few weeks, and he began to tell her of the records of the old race from which he came, of the old strange house of grey stone between the forest and the river. The family went back and back, he said, far into the dim past, beyond the Normans, beyond the Saxons, far into the Roman days, and for many hundred years they had been petty kings, with a strong fortress high up on the hill, in the heart of the forest; and even now the great mounds remained, whence one could look through the trees towards the mountain on one side and across the yellow sea on the other. The real name of the family was not Darnell; that was assumed by one Iolo ap Taliesin ap Iorwerth in the sixteenth century—why, Darnell did not seem to understand. And then he told her how the race had dwindled in prosperity, century by century, till at last there was nothing left but the grey house and a few acres of land bordering the river.

He was thrilled by the question. Somehow, they hadn’t talked much in the last few weeks, and he started to tell her about the history of his family, about the old, strange gray stone house between the forest and the river. The family went way back, he said, all the way to the distant past, beyond the Normans, beyond the Saxons, far into Roman times. For many hundreds of years, they had been minor kings, with a stronghold perched high up on the hill, in the heart of the forest; and even now, the large mounds still stood, where one could look through the trees towards the mountain on one side and over the yellow sea on the other. The family’s real name wasn’t Darnell; that was adopted by one Iolo ap Taliesin ap Iorwerth in the sixteenth century—surprisingly, Darnell didn’t seem to get it. Then he explained how the family had slowly lost fortune, century by century, until finally, there was nothing left but the gray house and a few acres of land along the river.

'And do you know, Mary,' he said, 'I suppose we shall go and live there some day or other. My great-uncle,[98] who has the place now, made money in business when he was a young man, and I believe he will leave it all to me. I know I am the only relation he has. How strange it would be. What a change from the life here.'

'And you know, Mary,' he said, 'I think we’ll end up living there someday. My great-uncle,[98] who owns the place now, made a lot of money in business when he was younger, and I believe he’ll leave it all to me. I know I’m his only relative. How weird that would be. What a change from life here.'

'You never told me that. Don't you think your great-uncle might leave his house and his money to somebody he knows really well? You haven't seen him since you were a little boy, have you?'

'You never mentioned that. Don't you think your great-uncle might leave his house and money to someone he’s really close to? You haven't seen him since you were a kid, right?'

'No; but we write once a year. And from what I have heard my father say, I am sure the old man would never leave the house out of the family. Do you think you would like it?'

'No; but we write once a year. And from what I’ve heard my dad say, I’m sure the old man would never let the house leave the family. Do you think you’d like it?'

'I don't know. Isn't it very lonely?'

'I don't know. Isn't it really lonely?'

'I suppose it is. I forget whether there are any other houses in sight, but I don't think there are any at all near. But what a change! No City, no streets, no people passing to and fro; only the sound of the wind and the sight of the green leaves and the green hills, and the song of the voices of the earth.'... He checked himself suddenly, as if he feared that he was about to tell some secret that must not yet be uttered; and indeed, as he spoke of the change from the little street in Shepherd's Bush to that ancient house in the woods of the far west, a change seemed already to possess himself, and his voice put on the modulation of an antique chant. Mary looked at him steadily and touched his arm, and he drew a long breath before he spoke again.

'I guess it is. I can't remember if there are any other houses around, but I don't think there are any close by at all. But what a change! No city, no streets, no people coming and going; just the sound of the wind, the sight of the green leaves and hills, and the song of nature.'... He suddenly stopped, as if he was worried he was about to reveal a secret that shouldn’t be shared yet; and indeed, as he talked about the difference between the little street in Shepherd's Bush and that old house in the woods of the far west, a transformation seemed to take hold of him, and his voice took on the tone of an ancient song. Mary looked at him intently and touched his arm, and he took a deep breath before speaking again.

'It is the old blood calling to the old land,' he said. 'I was forgetting that I am a clerk in the City.'

'It’s the old blood reaching out to the old land,' he said. 'I almost forgot that I’m just a clerk in the City.'

It was, doubtless, the old blood that had suddenly stirred in him; the resurrection of the old spirit that[99] for many centuries had been faithful to secrets that are now disregarded by most of us, that now day by day was quickened more and more in his heart, and grew so strong that it was hard to conceal. He was indeed almost in the position of the man in the tale, who, by a sudden electric shock, lost the vision of the things about him in the London streets, and gazed instead upon the sea and shore of an island in the Antipodes; for Darnell only clung with an effort to the interests and the atmosphere which, till lately, had seemed all the world to him; and the grey house and the wood and the river, symbols of the other sphere, intruded as it were into the landscape of the London suburb.

It was definitely the old blood that had suddenly stirred in him; the revival of the old spirit that[99] for many centuries had been loyal to secrets now ignored by most of us, which each day was coming to life more and more in his heart, becoming so strong that it was hard to hide. He was almost like the man in the story who, after a sudden electric shock, lost sight of the things around him in the London streets and instead saw the sea and shore of an island in the Southern Hemisphere; for Darnell was struggling to hold on to the interests and the atmosphere that had, until recently, seemed like everything to him; and the grey house, the woods, and the river, symbols of another world, intruded into the landscape of the London suburb.

But he went on, with more restraint, telling his stories of far-off ancestors, how one of them, the most remote of all, was called a saint, and was supposed to possess certain mysterious secrets often alluded to in the papers as the 'Hidden Songs of Iolo Sant.' And then with an abrupt transition he recalled memories of his father and of the strange, shiftless life in dingy lodgings in the backwaters of London, of the dim stucco streets that were his first recollections, of forgotten squares in North London, and of the figure of his father, a grave bearded man who seemed always in a dream, as if he too sought for the vision of a land beyond the strong walls, a land where there were deep orchards and many shining hills, and fountains and water-pools gleaming under the leaves of the wood.

But he continued, with more restraint, sharing stories of his distant ancestors, how one of them, the furthest back, was called a saint and was said to have some mysterious secrets often mentioned in the papers as the 'Hidden Songs of Iolo Sant.' Then, with a sudden shift, he recalled memories of his father and their strange, unstable life in shabby lodgings in the neglected areas of London, the dim stucco streets that were his earliest memories, the forgotten squares in North London, and the figure of his father, a serious bearded man who always seemed lost in thought, as if he too was searching for a vision of a land beyond the strong walls, a place with deep orchards, shining hills, and fountains and pools sparkling under the leaves of the woods.

'I believe my father earned his living,' he went on, 'such a living as he did earn, at the Record Office and the British Museum. He used to hunt up things for[100] lawyers and country parsons who wanted old deeds inspected. He never made much, and we were always moving from one lodging to another—always to out-of-the-way places where everything seemed to have run to seed. We never knew our neighbours—we moved too often for that—but my father had about half a dozen friends, elderly men like himself, who used to come to see us pretty often; and then, if there was any money, the lodging-house servant would go out for beer, and they would sit and smoke far into the night.

"I think my dad made a living," he continued, "a living he earned at the Record Office and the British Museum. He used to dig up information for lawyers and local ministers who needed old deeds checked. He never made much money, and we were always moving from one place to another—always to remote spots where everything seemed to be falling apart. We never got to know our neighbors—we moved around too much for that—but my dad had about six friends, older guys like him, who would come visit us fairly often; and if there was any cash, the lodging-house servant would go out for beer, and they would sit and smoke late into the night."

'I never knew much about these friends of his, but they all had the same look, the look of longing for something hidden. They talked of mysteries that I never understood, very little of their own lives, and when they did speak of ordinary affairs one could tell that they thought such matters as money and the want of it were unimportant trifles. When I grew up and went into the City, and met other young fellows and heard their way of talking, I wondered whether my father and his friends were not a little queer in their heads; but I know better now.'

'I never knew much about his friends, but they all had the same expression, like they were longing for something unknown. They talked about mysteries I could never grasp, shared very little about their own lives, and when they did touch on everyday things, it was clear they considered topics like money and the lack of it to be trivial. When I grew up and went into the City, meeting other young guys and hearing how they spoke, I questioned whether my father and his friends were a bit off. But I understand better now.'

So night after night Darnell talked to his wife, seeming to wander aimlessly from the dingy lodging-houses, where he had spent his boyhood in the company of his father and the other seekers, to the old house hidden in that far western valley, and the old race that had so long looked at the setting of the sun over the mountain. But in truth there was one end in all that he spoke, and Mary felt that beneath his words, however indifferent they might seem, there was hidden a purpose, that they were to embark on a great and marvellous adventure.[101]

So night after night, Darnell talked to his wife, drifting from the rundown boarding houses where he had spent his childhood with his father and the other seekers, to the old house tucked away in that distant western valley, and the old race that had watched the sun set over the mountain for so long. But really, there was one goal in everything he said, and Mary sensed that beneath his words, no matter how casual they seemed, there was a deeper purpose—that they were about to start a great and amazing adventure.[101]

So day by day the world became more magical; day by day the work of separation was being performed, the gross accidents were being refined away. Darnell neglected no instruments that might be useful in the work; and now he neither lounged at home on Sunday mornings, nor did he accompany his wife to the Gothic blasphemy which pretended to be a church. They had discovered a little church of another fashion in a back street, and Darnell, who had found in one of the old notebooks the maxim Incredibilia sola Credenda, soon perceived how high and glorious a thing was that service at which he assisted. Our stupid ancestors taught us that we could become wise by studying books on 'science,' by meddling with test-tubes, geological specimens, microscopic preparations, and the like; but they who have cast off these follies know that they must read not 'science' books, but mass-books, and that the soul is made wise by the contemplation of mystic ceremonies and elaborate and curious rites. In such things Darnell found a wonderful mystery language, which spoke at once more secretly and more directly than the formal creeds; and he saw that, in a sense, the whole world is but a great ceremony or sacrament, which teaches under visible forms a hidden and transcendent doctrine. It was thus that he found in the ritual of the church a perfect image of the world; an image purged, exalted, and illuminate, a holy house built up of shining and translucent stones, in which the burning torches were more significant than the wheeling stars, and the fuming incense was a more certain token than the rising of the mist. His soul went forth with the albed procession in its white and solemn order, the mystic dance that[102] signifies rapture and a joy above all joys, and when he beheld Love slain and rise again victorious he knew that he witnessed, in a figure, the consummation of all things, the Bridal of all Bridals, the mystery that is beyond all mysteries, accomplished from the foundation of the world. So day by day the house of his life became more magical.

So day by day, the world became more magical; day by day, the process of separation was happening, and the coarse accidents were being refined away. Darnell didn’t overlook any tools that might help in this work; he neither lounged at home on Sunday mornings nor did he go with his wife to the Gothic blasphemy that called itself a church. They had found a little church of a different kind on a back street, and Darnell, who had discovered a saying in one of the old notebooks—Incredibilia sola Credenda—quickly realized how high and glorious that service he attended really was. Our foolish ancestors taught us that we could gain wisdom by studying books on 'science,' by messing around with test tubes, geological samples, microscopic slides, and the like; but those who have rejected these nonsense beliefs know that they must read not 'science' books, but mass books, and that the soul becomes wise through contemplating mystic ceremonies and intricate, curious rites. In such things, Darnell found a wonderful mysterious language that communicated more secretly and directly than the formal creeds; and he saw that, in a way, the entire world is just a grand ceremony or sacrament, teaching a hidden and transcendent doctrine through visible forms. It was in the ritual of the church that he found a perfect representation of the world; an image purified, elevated, and illuminated, a holy house constructed of shining and translucent stones, where the burning torches held more significance than the moving stars, and the wafting incense was a clearer sign than the rising mist. His spirit moved in unison with the white and solemn procession, the mystic dance that signifies ecstasy and a joy above all joys, and when he saw Love slain and rise again victorious, he understood that he was witnessing, in a symbolic way, the fulfillment of all things, the Wedding of all Weddings, the mystery that transcends all mysteries, fulfilled since the foundation of the world. So day by day, the house of his life became more magical.

And at the same time he began to guess that if in the New Life there are new and unheard-of joys, there are also new and unheard-of dangers. In his manuscript books which professed to deliver the outer sense of those mysterious 'Hidden Songs of Iolo Sant' there was a little chapter that bore the heading: Fons Sacer non in communem Vsum convertendus est, and by diligence, with much use of the grammar and dictionary, Darnell was able to construe the by no means complex Latin of his ancestor. The special book which contained the chapter in question was one of the most singular in the collection, since it bore the title Terra de Iolo, and on the surface, with an ingenious concealment of its real symbolism, it affected to give an account of the orchards, fields, woods, roads, tenements, and waterways in the possession of Darnell's ancestors. Here, then, he read of the Holy Well, hidden in the Wistman's Wood—Sylva Sapientum—'a fountain of abundant water, which no heats of summer can ever dry, which no flood can ever defile, which is as a water of life, to them that thirst for life, a stream of cleansing to them that would be pure, and a medicine of such healing virtue that by it, through the might of God and the intercession of His saints, the most grievous wounds are made whole.'[103] But the water of this well was to be kept sacred perpetually, it was not to be used for any common purpose, nor to satisfy any bodily thirst; but ever to be esteemed as holy, 'even as the water which the priest hath hallowed.' And in the margin a comment in a later hand taught Darnell something of the meaning of these prohibitions. He was warned not to use the Well of Life as a mere luxury of mortal life, as a new sensation, as a means of making the insipid cup of everyday existence more palatable. 'For,' said the commentator, 'we are not called to sit as the spectators in a theatre, there to watch the play performed before us, but we are rather summoned to stand in the very scene itself, and there fervently to enact our parts in a great and wonderful mystery.'

And at the same time, he began to realize that while the New Life offers new and amazing joys, it also comes with new and unexpected dangers. In his manuscript books, which were meant to reveal the outer meaning of those mysterious 'Hidden Songs of Iolo Sant,' there was a short chapter titled: Fons Sacer non in communem Vsum convertendus est. With a lot of effort and the help of grammar and a dictionary, Darnell managed to understand the not-so-complex Latin of his ancestor. The particular book containing this chapter was one of the most unique in the collection, titled Terra de Iolo. On the surface, it cleverly disguised its real symbolism while pretending to describe the orchards, fields, woods, roads, properties, and waterways owned by Darnell's ancestors. Here, he read about the Holy Well, hidden in Wistman's Wood—Sylva Sapientum—"a fountain of abundant water that no summer heat can ever dry, which no flood can ever pollute, which is like a water of life for those who thirst for life, a stream of purification for those who wish to be pure, and a medicine with such healing power that through God’s strength and the intercession of His saints, even the most severe wounds are healed." [103] But this well's water was to be kept sacred forever; it was not to be used for any ordinary purpose or to quench any physical thirst; it should always be regarded as holy, "even as the water that the priest has blessed." In the margin, a later comment taught Darnell more about the meaning of these prohibitions. He was cautioned not to treat the Well of Life as just a luxury of mortal existence, a new thrill, or a way to make the dull cup of everyday life more enjoyable. "For,” said the commentator, “we are not called to sit as spectators in a theater, merely watching the play unfold before us, but we are instead summoned to stand in the very scene itself and passionately play our parts in a great and wonderful mystery.”

Darnell could quite understand the temptation that was thus indicated. Though he had gone but a little way on the path, and had barely tested the over-runnings of that mystic well, he was already aware of the enchantment that was transmuting all the world about him, informing his life with a strange significance and romance. London seemed a city of the Arabian Nights, and its labyrinths of streets an enchanted maze; its long avenues of lighted lamps were as starry systems, and its immensity became for him an image of the endless universe. He could well imagine how pleasant it might be to linger in such a world as this, to sit apart and dream, beholding the strange pageant played before him; but the Sacred Well was not for common use, it was for the cleansing of the soul, and the healing of the grievous wounds of the spirit. There must be yet another transformation:[104] London had become Bagdad; it must at last be transmuted to Syon, or in the phrase of one of his old documents, the City of the Cup.

Darnell completely understood the temptation that had been suggested. Although he had only just begun his journey and had barely scratched the surface of that enchanted well, he was already aware of the magic transforming the world around him, filling his life with strange significance and romance. London felt like a city from the Arabian Nights, its winding streets an enchanted maze; the long rows of streetlights appeared like starry constellations, and its vastness transformed into a representation of the infinite universe. He could easily imagine how delightful it might be to linger in a world like this, to sit quietly and daydream, watching the bizarre spectacle unfold before him; but the Sacred Well wasn’t for just anyone, it was meant for cleansing the soul and healing deep spiritual wounds. There had to be another transformation:[104] London had turned into Bagdad; it must eventually be transformed into Syon, or in the words of one of his old documents, the City of the Cup.

And there were yet darker perils which the Iolo MSS. (as his father had named the collection) hinted at more or less obscurely. There were suggestions of an awful region which the soul might enter, of a transmutation that was unto death, of evocations which could summon the utmost forces of evil from their dark places—in a word, of that sphere which is represented to most of us under the crude and somewhat childish symbolism of Black Magic. And here again he was not altogether without a dim comprehension of what was meant. He found himself recalling an odd incident that had happened long ago, which had remained all the years in his mind unheeded, amongst the many insignificant recollections of his childhood, and now rose before him, clear and distinct and full of meaning. It was on that memorable visit to the old house in the west, and the whole scene returned, with its smallest events, and the voices seemed to sound in his ears. It was a grey, still day of heavy heat that he remembered: he had stood on the lawn after breakfast, and wondered at the great peace and silence of the world. Not a leaf stirred in the trees on the lawn, not a whisper came from the myriad leaves of the wood; the flowers gave out sweet and heavy odours as if they breathed the dreams of the summer night; and far down the valley, the winding river was like dim silver under that dim and silvery sky, and the far hills and woods and fields vanished in the mist. The stillness of the air held him as with a charm; he leant all the morning against the rails that parted the[105] lawn from the meadow, breathing the mystic breath of summer, and watching the fields brighten as with a sudden blossoming of shining flowers as the high mist grew thin for a moment before the hidden sun. As he watched thus, a man weary with heat, with some glance of horror in his eyes, passed him on his way to the house; but he stayed at his post till the old bell in the turret rang, and they dined all together, masters and servants, in the dark cool room that looked towards the still leaves of the wood. He could see that his uncle was upset about something, and when they had finished dinner he heard him tell his father that there was trouble at a farm; and it was settled that they should all drive over in the afternoon to some place with a strange name. But when the time came Mr. Darnell was too deep in old books and tobacco smoke to be stirred from his corner, and Edward and his uncle went alone in the dog-cart. They drove swiftly down the narrow lane, into the road that followed the winding river, and crossed the bridge at Caermaen by the mouldering Roman walls, and then, skirting the deserted, echoing village, they came out on a broad white turnpike road, and the limestone dust followed them like a cloud. Then, suddenly, they turned to the north by such a road as Edward had never seen before. It was so narrow that there was barely room for the cart to pass, and the footway was of rock, and the banks rose high above them as they slowly climbed the long, steep way, and the untrimmed hedges on either side shut out the light. And the ferns grew thick and green upon the banks, and hidden wells dripped down upon them; and the old man told him how the lane in winter was a[106] torrent of swirling water, so that no one could pass by it. On they went, ascending and then again descending, always in that deep hollow under the wild woven boughs, and the boy wondered vainly what the country was like on either side. And now the air grew darker, and the hedge on one bank was but the verge of a dark and rustling wood, and the grey limestone rocks had changed to dark-red earth flecked with green patches and veins of marl, and suddenly in the stillness from the depths of the wood a bird began to sing a melody that charmed the heart into another world, that sang to the child's soul of the blessed faery realm beyond the woods of the earth, where the wounds of man are healed. And so at last, after many turnings and windings, they came to a high bare land where the lane broadened out into a kind of common, and along the edge of this place there were scattered three or four old cottages, and one of them was a little tavern. Here they stopped, and a man came out and tethered the tired horse to a post and gave him water; and old Mr. Darnell took the child's hand and led him by a path across the fields. The boy could see the country now, but it was all a strange, undiscovered land; they were in the heart of a wilderness of hills and valleys that he had never looked upon, and they were going down a wild, steep hillside, where the narrow path wound in and out amidst gorse and towering bracken, and the sun gleaming out for a moment, there was a gleam of white water far below in a narrow valley, where a little brook poured and rippled from stone to stone. They went down the hill, and through a brake, and then, hidden in[107] dark-green orchards, they came upon a long, low whitewashed house, with a stone roof strangely coloured by the growth of moss and lichens. Mr. Darnell knocked at a heavy oaken door, and they came into a dim room where but little light entered through the thick glass in the deep-set window. There were heavy beams in the ceiling, and a great fireplace sent out an odour of burning wood that Darnell never forgot, and the room seemed to him full of women who talked all together in frightened tones. Mr. Darnell beckoned to a tall, grey old man, who wore corduroy knee-breeches, and the boy, sitting on a high straight-backed chair, could see the old man and his uncle passing to and fro across the window-panes, as they walked together on the garden path. The women stopped their talk for a moment, and one of them brought him a glass of milk and an apple from some cold inner chamber; and then, suddenly, from a room above there rang out a shrill and terrible shriek, and then, in a young girl's voice, a more terrible song. It was not like anything the child had ever heard, but as the man recalled it to his memory, he knew to what song it might be compared—to a certain chant indeed that summons the angels and archangels to assist in the great Sacrifice. But as this song chants of the heavenly army, so did that seem to summon all the hierarchy of evil, the hosts of Lilith and Samael; and the words that rang out with such awful modulations—neumata inferorum—were in some unknown tongue that few men have ever heard on earth.

And there were even darker dangers that the Iolo MSS. (as his father had called the collection) hinted at more or less vaguely. There were hints of a terrifying realm that the soul could enter, of a change that led to death, of rituals that could summon the deepest forces of evil from their hidden places—in other words, of that domain which most people associate with the crude and somewhat childish idea of Black Magic. Once again, he wasn't completely without a vague understanding of what this meant. He found himself remembering a strange event from long ago that had stayed in his mind all these years, unnoticed among the many insignificant memories of his childhood, and now it came back to him, clear and distinct and full of meaning. It was during that unforgettable visit to the old house in the west, and the whole scene returned, with all its minor details, and he could almost hear the voices in his ears. He recalled a grey, still day of heavy heat: he had stood on the lawn after breakfast, marveling at the great peace and silence of the world. Not a leaf stirred in the trees on the lawn, not a sound came from the countless leaves of the wood; the flowers released sweet and heavy scents as if they were breathing in the dreams of the summer night; and far down the valley, the winding river shimmered like pale silver under that muted and silvery sky, while the distant hills and woods and fields faded into the mist. The stillness of the air captivated him like a spell; he leaned all morning against the rails that separated the lawn from the meadow, inhaling the mystical essence of summer, and watching the fields brighten with what seemed like a sudden blooming of shining flowers as the high mist thinned momentarily before the hidden sun. As he watched, a man driven by heat, with a look of horror in his eyes, passed him on his way to the house; but he remained in his spot until the old bell in the turret rang, and they all dined together, masters and servants, in the dark, cool room that faced the still leaves of the wood. He could tell that his uncle was troubled about something, and after dinner, he heard him tell his father that there was an issue at a farm; it was decided that they would all drive over in the afternoon to a place with a strange name. But when the time came, Mr. Darnell was too absorbed in old books and tobacco smoke to leave his corner, so Edward and his uncle went alone in the dog-cart. They drove quickly down the narrow lane, onto the road that followed the winding river, and crossed the bridge at Caermaen by the crumbling Roman walls. Then, skirting the empty, echoing village, they emerged onto a broad white turnpike road, and the limestone dust trailed behind them like a cloud. Suddenly, they turned north onto a road that Edward had never seen before. It was so narrow that there was barely enough room for the cart to pass, the pathway was rocky, and the banks loomed high above them as they slowly climbed the long, steep incline, with the untamed hedges on either side blocking the light. Ferns grew thick and green on the banks, and hidden springs dripped down on them; the old man told him how the lane in winter was a torrent of swirling water, making it impassable. They continued on, climbing and then descending again, always in that deep hollow under the wild, tangled branches, and the boy wondered in vain what the landscape was like on either side. Now the air grew darker, and the hedge on one side marked the edge of a dark and rustling wood, with the grey limestone rocks giving way to dark-red earth dotted with green patches and veins of marl. Suddenly, in the stillness from deep within the wood, a bird began to sing a melody that enchanted the heart, leading it to another world, singing to the child's soul about the blessed faery realm beyond the earthly woods, where the wounds of humanity are healed. Finally, after many turns and twists, they reached an open, bare land where the lane widened into a kind of common land, and along the edge of this area were scattered three or four old cottages, one of which was a small tavern. Here they stopped, and a man came out to tie the tired horse to a post and gave it water; and old Mr. Darnell took the boy's hand and led him along a path across the fields. The boy could now see the landscape, but it was all a strange, undiscovered land; they were deep in a wilderness of hills and valleys he had never seen before, and they descended a wild, steep hillside, where the narrow path wound through gorse and towering bracken, and when the sun peeked out for a moment, he caught a glimpse of white water far below in a narrow valley, where a little brook flowed and rippled over stones. They continued down the hill, through a thicket, and then, hidden in dark-green orchards, they came upon a long, low whitewashed house, with a stone roof oddly colored by moss and lichens. Mr. Darnell knocked on a heavy oak door, and they entered a dim room where little light came through the thick glass in the deeply set window. The ceiling had sturdy beams, and a large fireplace sent out a scent of burning wood that Darnell would never forget. The room seemed full of women who spoke together in anxious tones. Mr. Darnell waved to a tall, grey old man in corduroy knee-breeches, and the boy, sitting on a high straight-backed chair, could see the old man and his uncle moving back and forth across the window panes as they walked together along the garden path. The women paused in their conversation for a moment, and one of them brought him a glass of milk and an apple from some cold inner room; then, suddenly, from above, a shrill and terrible scream echoed, followed by a more frightening song in a young girl’s voice. It was unlike anything the child had ever heard, but when the man recalled it later, he knew what song it might be compared to—a certain chant that indeed calls upon angels and archangels to assist in the great Sacrifice. But while that song invokes the heavenly army, this seemed to summon all the hierarchy of evil, the hosts of Lilith and Samael; and the words that rang out with such terrible variations—neumata inferorum—were in some unknown language that few people have ever heard on earth.

The women glared at one another with horror in their eyes, and he saw one or two of the oldest of them[108] clumsily making an old sign upon their breasts. Then they began to speak again, and he remembered fragments of their talk.

The women stared at each other in shock, and he noticed one or two of the oldest among them[108] awkwardly making an old sign on their chests. Then they started talking again, and he recalled bits of their conversation.

'She has been up there,' said one, pointing vaguely over her shoulder.

'She’s been up there,' said one, pointing vaguely over her shoulder.

'She'd never know the way,' answered another. 'They be all gone that went there.'

'She'll never know the way,' replied another. 'Everyone who went there is gone.'

'There be nought there in these days.'

'There is nothing there these days.'

'How can you tell that, Gwenllian? 'Tis not for us to say that.'

'How can you tell that, Gwenllian? It's not for us to say that.'

'My great-grandmother did know some that had been there,' said a very old woman. 'She told me how they was taken afterwards.'

'My great-grandmother knew some people who had been there,' said a very old woman. 'She told me how they were taken afterward.'

And then his uncle appeared at the door, and they went their way as they had come. Edward Darnell never heard any more of it, nor whether the girl died or recovered from her strange attack; but the scene had haunted his mind in boyhood, and now the recollection of it came to him with a certain note of warning, as a symbol of dangers that might be in the way.

And then his uncle showed up at the door, and they left just like they had arrived. Edward Darnell never heard anything else about it, nor whether the girl lived or recovered from her bizarre episode; but the memory stuck with him since he was a boy, and now it came back to him with a sense of caution, as a sign of potential dangers that could be ahead.


It would be impossible to carry on the history of Edward Darnell and of Mary his wife to a greater length, since from this point their legend is full of impossible events, and seems to put on the semblance of the stories of the Graal. It is certain, indeed, that in this world they changed their lives, like King Arthur, but this is a work which no chronicler has cared to describe with any amplitude of detail. Darnell, it is true, made a little book, partly consisting of queer verse which might have been written by an inspired infant, and partly made up of 'notes and exclamations' in an odd dog-Latin which he had picked[109] up from the 'Iolo MSS.', but it is to be feared that this work, even if published in its entirety, would cast but little light on a perplexing story. He called this piece of literature 'In Exitu Israel,' and wrote on the title page the motto, doubtless of his own composition, 'Nunc certe scio quod omnia legenda; omnes historiæ, omnes fabulæ, omnis Scriptura sint de ME narrata.' It is only too evident that his Latin was not learnt at the feet of Cicero; but in this dialect he relates the great history of the 'New Life' as it was manifested to him. The 'poems' are even stranger. One, headed (with an odd reminiscence of old-fashioned books) 'Lines written on looking down from a Height in London on a Board School suddenly lit up by the Sun' begins thus:—

It would be impossible to continue the story of Edward Darnell and his wife Mary any further, as from this point their tale is filled with unbelievable events, resembling the stories of the Grail. It’s certain that they changed their lives in this world, much like King Arthur, but no chronicler has wanted to describe this in any detail. It’s true that Darnell created a small book, partly made up of strange verses that could have been written by a child, and partly filled with ‘notes and exclamations’ in a quirky version of dog-Latin he picked up from the ‘Iolo MSS.’ However, it’s likely that even if this work were published in full, it would shed little light on a confusing tale. He titled this piece of writing ‘In Exitu Israel,’ and inscribed on the title page a motto, surely his own, 'Nunc certe scio quod omnia legenda; omnes historiæ, omnes fabulæ, omnis Scriptura sint de ME narrata.' It’s quite clear that his Latin wasn’t learned from Cicero; yet in this dialect, he narrates the significant story of the ‘New Life’ as it was revealed to him. The ‘poems’ are even more bizarre. One, titled (with a strange hint of old-fashioned books) 'Lines written on looking down from a Height in London on a Board School suddenly lit up by the Sun,' begins like this:—

One day when I was completely alone
I found a lovely little stone,
It was left behind on the road. Away from the ways of human habitation.
When I look at this stone I finally found my treasure. I pressed it tightly against my face,
I wrapped it in my arms,
I tucked it away in a hidden spot.
And every day I went to visit
This stone that was my bliss; And decorated it with rare flowers,
And secret words and fair sayings. O stone, so unique and red and wise O fragment of distant Paradise,
O Star, whose light brings life! O Sea,
Whose ocean is endless!
You are a fire that always burns,
[110] And the whole world is filled with wonder; And all the dust of the boring day
By you, it's changed and eliminated,
So that wherever I look, I see
A world of Great Majesty.
The gloomy river flows like gold,
The desert park is a magical world,
When the wind flows through the trees I can hear Arthur's horn. I don't see any town with dreary grey streets,
But a great city is on fire. With burning torches to illuminate The peaks that hold the Cup. As always, the magic wine is poured,
Ever the Feast shines on the table,
Always, the song is lifted up high. That chants the holy Majesty—
Etc. etc. etc.

From such documents as these it is clearly impossible to gather any very definite information. But on the last page Darnell has written—

From these documents, it's clearly impossible to get any specific information. But on the last page, Darnell has written—

'So I awoke from a dream of a London suburb, of daily labour, of weary, useless little things; and as my eyes were opened I saw that I was in an ancient wood, where a clear well rose into grey film and vapour beneath a misty, glimmering heat. And a form came towards me from the hidden places of the wood, and my love and I were united by the well.'

'So I woke up from a dream about a London suburb, about daily work, about tired, pointless little things; and as I opened my eyes, I saw that I was in an old forest, where a clear spring rose into a gray mist and vapor beneath a hazy, shimmering heat. A figure approached me from the hidden corners of the woods, and my love and I were brought together by the spring.'


The White People

PROLOGUE

'Sorcery and sanctity,' said Ambrose, 'these are the only realities. Each is an ecstasy, a withdrawal from the common life.'

'Ssorcery and sanctity,' Ambrose said, 'these are the only truths. Each is a blissful escape from everyday life.'

Cotgrave listened, interested. He had been brought by a friend to this mouldering house in a northern suburb, through an old garden to the room where Ambrose the recluse dozed and dreamed over his books.

Cotgrave listened, intrigued. A friend had brought him to this decaying house in a northern suburb, through an overgrown garden to the room where Ambrose the recluse napped and pondered over his books.

'Yes,' he went on, 'magic is justified of her children. There are many, I think, who eat dry crusts and drink water, with a joy infinitely sharper than anything within the experience of the "practical" epicure.'

'Yes,' he continued, 'magic is validated by her children. There are many, I believe, who eat dry bread and drink water, with a joy far deeper than anything found in the experience of the "practical" foodie.'

'You are speaking of the saints?'

'Are you talking about the saints?'

'Yes, and of the sinners, too. I think you are falling into the very general error of confining the spiritual world to the supremely good; but the supremely wicked, necessarily, have their portion in it. The merely carnal, sensual man can no more be a great sinner than he can be a great saint. Most of us are just indifferent, mixed-up creatures; we muddle through the world without realizing the meaning and the inner sense of things, and, consequently, our wickedness and our goodness are alike second-rate, unimportant.'

'Yes, and about the sinners, too. I think you're making the common mistake of limiting the spiritual world to just the really good people; but the truly wicked also have their place in it. A purely carnal, sensual person can't be a great sinner any more than they can be a great saint. Most of us are just indifferent, confused individuals; we get through life without understanding the meaning and deeper sense of things, and, as a result, our badness and our goodness are both mediocre and insignificant.'

'And you think the great sinner, then, will be an ascetic, as well as the great saint?'

'So you think the big sinner will be an ascetic, just like the big saint?'

'Great people of all kinds forsake the imperfect[114] copies and go to the perfect originals. I have no doubt but that many of the very highest among the saints have never done a "good action" (using the words in their ordinary sense). And, on the other hand, there have been those who have sounded the very depths of sin, who all their lives have never done an "ill deed."'

'Great people of all kinds abandon flawed[114] copies and seek out perfect originals. I'm sure that many of the most exceptional among the saints have never performed a "good action" (using the term in its usual sense). Conversely, there are those who have explored the deepest levels of sin, yet throughout their lives, they have never committed an "ill deed."'

He went out of the room for a moment, and Cotgrave, in high delight, turned to his friend and thanked him for the introduction.

He stepped out of the room for a moment, and Cotgrave, filled with joy, turned to his friend and thanked him for the introduction.

'He's grand,' he said. 'I never saw that kind of lunatic before.'

'He's amazing,' he said. 'I've never seen that kind of crazy person before.'

Ambrose returned with more whisky and helped the two men in a liberal manner. He abused the teetotal sect with ferocity, as he handed the seltzer, and pouring out a glass of water for himself, was about to resume his monologue, when Cotgrave broke in—

Ambrose came back with more whiskey and generously assisted the two men. He harshly criticized the teetotalers while he handed out the sparkling water and poured a glass of water for himself. Just as he was about to continue his speech, Cotgrave interrupted—

'I can't stand it, you know,' he said, 'your paradoxes are too monstrous. A man may be a great sinner and yet never do anything sinful! Come!'

'I can't take it anymore, you know,' he said, 'your contradictions are too outrageous. A person can be a terrible sinner and still never do anything wrong! Come!'

'You're quite wrong,' said Ambrose. 'I never make paradoxes; I wish I could. I merely said that a man may have an exquisite taste in Romanée Conti, and yet never have even smelt four ale. That's all, and it's more like a truism than a paradox, isn't it? Your surprise at my remark is due to the fact that you haven't realized what sin is. Oh, yes, there is a sort of connexion between Sin with the capital letter, and actions which are commonly called sinful: with murder, theft, adultery, and so forth. Much the same connexion that there is between the A, B, C and fine literature. But I believe that the misconception—it is all but universal—arises in great measure from our[115] looking at the matter through social spectacles. We think that a man who does evil to us and to his neighbours must be very evil. So he is, from a social standpoint; but can't you realize that Evil in its essence is a lonely thing, a passion of the solitary, individual soul? Really, the average murderer, quâ murderer, is not by any means a sinner in the true sense of the word. He is simply a wild beast that we have to get rid of to save our own necks from his knife. I should class him rather with tigers than with sinners.'

"You're totally mistaken," Ambrose said. "I never create paradoxes; I wish I could. I was just saying that a guy can have amazing taste in Romanée Conti, yet never have even smelled four ale. That’s all, and it’s more of a basic truth than a paradox, right? Your surprise at my comment comes from the fact that you haven’t grasped what sin really is. Oh, sure, there’s a kind of connection between Sin—capital S—and actions we usually call sinful, like murder, theft, adultery, and so on. It's similar to the connection between the A, B, C and great literature. But I think the misconception—it’s nearly universal—comes largely from our[115] viewing things through social lenses. We assume that someone who harms us and his neighbors must be very evil. And yes, from a social perspective, he is; but can't you see that Evil, at its core, is a lonely thing, a passion of the solitary, individual soul? Honestly, the typical murderer, quâ murderer, is not really a sinner in the genuine sense of the word. He’s just a wild animal that we need to get rid of to protect ourselves from his violence. I’d compare him more to tigers than to sinners."

'It seems a little strange.'

"It feels a bit off."

'I think not. The murderer murders not from positive qualities, but from negative ones; he lacks something which non-murderers possess. Evil, of course, is wholly positive—only it is on the wrong side. You may believe me that sin in its proper sense is very rare; it is probable that there have been far fewer sinners than saints. Yes, your standpoint is all very well for practical, social purposes; we are naturally inclined to think that a person who is very disagreeable to us must be a very great sinner! It is very disagreeable to have one's pocket picked, and we pronounce the thief to be a very great sinner. In truth, he is merely an undeveloped man. He cannot be a saint, of course; but he may be, and often is, an infinitely better creature than thousands who have never broken a single commandment. He is a great nuisance to us, I admit, and we very properly lock him up if we catch him; but between his troublesome and unsocial action and evil—Oh, the connexion is of the weakest.'

'I don't think so. A murderer doesn't kill because of positive traits, but because of negative ones; they lack something that non-murderers have. Evil, of course, is completely positive—only it's on the wrong side. You can believe me when I say that sin, in the true sense, is very rare; it's likely that there have been far fewer sinners than saints. Yes, your perspective makes sense for practical, social reasons; we naturally tend to think that someone who is very unpleasant to us must be a significant sinner! It’s really frustrating to have your pocket picked, and we label the thief as a major sinner. In reality, they're just an undeveloped person. They can't be a saint, of course, but they can be, and often are, a much better individual than thousands who have never broken a single commandment. They are a huge nuisance to us, I agree, and we rightly lock them up if we catch them; but the link between their annoying and antisocial behavior and true evil—oh, it's very weak.'

It was getting very late. The man who had brought Cotgrave had probably heard all this before,[116] since he assisted with a bland and judicious smile, but Cotgrave began to think that his 'lunatic' was turning into a sage.

It was getting really late. The guy who had brought Cotgrave had probably heard all this before,[116] since he helped with a calm and thoughtful smile, but Cotgrave started to think that his 'lunatic' was becoming a wise man.

'Do you know,' he said, 'you interest me immensely? You think, then, that we do not understand the real nature of evil?'

'You know,' he said, 'you really interest me a lot. Do you think that we don’t really understand the true nature of evil?'

'No, I don't think we do. We over-estimate it and we under-estimate it. We take the very numerous infractions of our social "bye-laws"—the very necessary and very proper regulations which keep the human company together—and we get frightened at the prevalence of "sin" and "evil." But this is really nonsense. Take theft, for example. Have you any horror at the thought of Robin Hood, of the Highland caterans of the seventeenth century, of the moss-troopers, of the company promoters of our day?

'No, I don't think we do. We overestimate it and underestimate it. We focus on the many violations of our social "bylaws"—the essential and appropriate rules that keep society functioning—and we let ourselves get scared by the existence of "sin" and "evil." But that's really just nonsense. Take theft, for example. Do you feel any horror at the thought of Robin Hood, the Highland raiders of the seventeenth century, the moss-troopers, or the corporate promoters of today?

'Then, on the other hand, we underrate evil. We attach such an enormous importance to the "sin" of meddling with our pockets (and our wives) that we have quite forgotten the awfulness of real sin.'

'Then again, we underestimate evil. We place such enormous importance on the "sin" of interfering with our money (and our wives) that we've completely forgotten how terrible real sin is.'

'And what is sin?' said Cotgrave.

'So, what is sin?' asked Cotgrave.

'I think I must reply to your question by another. What would your feelings be, seriously, if your cat or your dog began to talk to you, and to dispute with you in human accents? You would be overwhelmed with horror. I am sure of it. And if the roses in your garden sang a weird song, you would go mad. And suppose the stones in the road began to swell and grow before your eyes, and if the pebble that you noticed at night had shot out stony blossoms in the morning?

'I think I need to answer your question with another one. How would you feel, seriously, if your cat or dog started talking to you and arguing in human voices? You would be completely horrified. I’m certain of it. And if the roses in your garden sang a strange song, you would lose your mind. And what if the stones on the road began to swell and grow right in front of you, and if the pebble you noticed at night sprouted stony flowers by morning?'

'Well, these examples may give you some notion of what sin really is.'[117]

'Well, these examples might give you some idea of what sin really is.'[117]

'Look here,' said the third man, hitherto placid, 'you two seem pretty well wound up. But I'm going home. I've missed my tram, and I shall have to walk.'

'Look here,' said the third man, who had been calm until now, 'you two seem pretty worked up. But I’m going home. I missed my tram, and I’ll have to walk.'

Ambrose and Cotgrave seemed to settle down more profoundly when the other had gone out into the early misty morning and the pale light of the lamps.

Ambrose and Cotgrave appeared to relax more deeply once the other had stepped out into the early misty morning and the soft glow of the lamps.

'You astonish me,' said Cotgrave. 'I had never thought of that. If that is really so, one must turn everything upside down. Then the essence of sin really is——'

'You amaze me,' said Cotgrave. 'I never thought of that. If that's truly the case, we have to turn everything upside down. Then the essence of sin really is——'

'In the taking of heaven by storm, it seems to me,' said Ambrose. 'It appears to me that it is simply an attempt to penetrate into another and higher sphere in a forbidden manner. You can understand why it is so rare. There are few, indeed, who wish to penetrate into other spheres, higher or lower, in ways allowed or forbidden. Men, in the mass, are amply content with life as they find it. Therefore there are few saints, and sinners (in the proper sense) are fewer still, and men of genius, who partake sometimes of each character, are rare also. Yes; on the whole, it is, perhaps, harder to be a great sinner than a great saint.'

'When it comes to taking heaven by storm, I think,' said Ambrose. 'It seems to me that it’s just an attempt to access another, higher realm in a forbidden way. You can see why it’s so uncommon. There are very few people who want to reach into other realms, whether higher or lower, in allowed or forbidden ways. Most people are perfectly satisfied with life as it is. That’s why there are few saints, and true sinners are even rarer, while genius types, who sometimes embody both, are also hard to come by. Yes; overall, it might actually be harder to be a great sinner than a great saint.'

'There is something profoundly unnatural about sin? Is that what you mean?'

'Is there something deeply unnatural about sin? Is that what you're saying?'

'Exactly. Holiness requires as great, or almost as great, an effort; but holiness works on lines that were natural once; it is an effort to recover the ecstasy that was before the Fall. But sin is an effort to gain the ecstasy and the knowledge that pertain alone to angels, and in making this effort man becomes a demon. I told you that the mere murderer is not therefore a[118] sinner; that is true, but the sinner is sometimes a murderer. Gilles de Raiz is an instance. So you see that while the good and the evil are unnatural to man as he now is—to man the social, civilized being—evil is unnatural in a much deeper sense than good. The saint endeavours to recover a gift which he has lost; the sinner tries to obtain something which was never his. In brief, he repeats the Fall.'

'Exactly. Being holy takes as much, or nearly as much, effort; but holiness works along paths that were once natural; it’s an effort to reclaim the ecstasy that existed before the Fall. In contrast, sin is an attempt to achieve the ecstasy and knowledge that belong solely to angels, and in doing so, a person becomes a demon. I told you that a murderer isn’t necessarily a therefore sinner; that's true, but sometimes a sinner is a murderer. Gilles de Raiz is an example of this. So you see that while good and evil are both unnatural to humans as we are now—to humans who are social and civilized—evil is unnatural in a much deeper way than good. The saint strives to regain a gift that he has lost; the sinner seeks something that was never his. In short, he repeats the Fall.'

'But are you a Catholic?' said Cotgrave.

'But are you Catholic?' said Cotgrave.

'Yes; I am a member of the persecuted Anglican Church.'

'Yes; I am a member of the persecuted Anglican Church.'

'Then, how about those texts which seem to reckon as sin that which you would set down as a mere trivial dereliction?'

'Then, what about those texts that seem to consider as a sin what you would see as just a minor lapse?'

'Yes; but in one place the word "sorcerers" comes in the same sentence, doesn't it? That seems to me to give the key-note. Consider: can you imagine for a moment that a false statement which saves an innocent man's life is a sin? No; very good, then, it is not the mere liar who is excluded by those words; it is, above all, the "sorcerers" who use the material life, who use the failings incidental to material life as instruments to obtain their infinitely wicked ends. And let me tell you this: our higher senses are so blunted, we are so drenched with materialism, that we should probably fail to recognize real wickedness if we encountered it.'

'Yes, but in one place, the term "sorcerers" appears in the same sentence, right? I think that really sets the tone. Think about it: can you seriously believe that a lie that saves an innocent person's life is a sin? No? Great, so it’s not just any liar who’s excluded by those words; it’s primarily the "sorcerers" who exploit material life, using the flaws that come with it to achieve their incredibly evil goals. And let me tell you this: our higher senses are so dulled, we’re so consumed by materialism, that we would probably fail to recognize true wickedness if we stumbled upon it.'

'But shouldn't we experience a certain horror—a terror such as you hinted we would experience if a rose tree sang—in the mere presence of an evil man?'

'But shouldn't we feel a sense of horror—a fear like you suggested we would feel if a rose tree sang—just by being around an evil person?'

'We should if we were natural: children and women feel this horror you speak of, even animals experience it. But with most of us convention and civilization[119] and education have blinded and deafened and obscured the natural reason. No, sometimes we may recognize evil by its hatred of the good—one doesn't need much penetration to guess at the influence which dictated, quite unconsciously, the "Blackwood" review of Keats—but this is purely incidental; and, as a rule, I suspect that the Hierarchs of Tophet pass quite unnoticed, or, perhaps, in certain cases, as good but mistaken men.'

'We should, if we were being true to our nature: children and women feel this horror you’re talking about; even animals experience it. But for most of us, social norms, civilization[119], and education have blinded us, made us deaf, and clouded our natural reasoning. Sometimes, we might identify evil by how much it hates the good—it's not hard to figure out the influence behind the "Blackwood" review of Keats, even if it was done unconsciously—but that’s more of a side note; generally, I think the leaders of Hell go by unnoticed, or maybe in some cases, they’re seen as well-meaning but misguided individuals.'

'But you used the word "unconscious" just now, of Keats' reviewers. Is wickedness ever unconscious?'

'But you just used the word "unconscious" regarding Keats' reviewers. Is wickedness ever truly unconscious?'

'Always. It must be so. It is like holiness and genius in this as in other points; it is a certain rapture or ecstasy of the soul; a transcendent effort to surpass the ordinary bounds. So, surpassing these, it surpasses also the understanding, the faculty that takes note of that which comes before it. No, a man may be infinitely and horribly wicked and never suspect it. But I tell you, evil in this, its certain and true sense, is rare, and I think it is growing rarer.'

'Always. It has to be like that. It's similar to holiness and genius in this and other ways; it’s a certain thrill or bliss of the soul; a greater effort to go beyond the normal limits. By going beyond these limits, it also goes beyond understanding, the ability to notice what’s right in front of it. No, a person can be extremely and terribly wicked and never realize it. But I tell you, evil in its true and genuine sense is rare, and I believe it's becoming even rarer.'

'I am trying to get hold of it all,' said Cotgrave. 'From what you say, I gather that the true evil differs generically from that which we call evil?'

'I’m trying to grasp it all,' said Cotgrave. 'From what you’re saying, I understand that the real evil is different in kind from what we refer to as evil?'

'Quite so. There is, no doubt, an analogy between the two; a resemblance such as enables us to use, quite legitimately, such terms as the "foot of the mountain" and the "leg of the table." And, sometimes, of course, the two speak, as it were, in the same language. The rough miner, or "puddler," the untrained, undeveloped "tiger-man," heated by a quart or two above his usual measure, comes home and kicks his irritating and injudicious wife to death. He is a murderer. And Gilles de Raiz was a murderer.[120] But you see the gulf that separates the two? The "word," if I may so speak, is accidentally the same in each case, but the "meaning" is utterly different. It is flagrant "Hobson Jobson" to confuse the two, or rather, it is as if one supposed that Juggernaut and the Argonauts had something to do etymologically with one another. And no doubt the same weak likeness, or analogy, runs between all the "social" sins and the real spiritual sins, and in some cases, perhaps, the lesser may be "schoolmasters" to lead one on to the greater—from the shadow to the reality. If you are anything of a Theologian, you will see the importance of all this.'

'Absolutely. There’s definitely a comparison between the two; a similarity that allows us to use terms like the "foot of the mountain" and the "leg of the table." And sometimes, they even seem to use the same language. The rough miner, or "puddler," the untrained, raw "tiger-man," who’s had a quart or two more than usual, comes home and brutally attacks his frustrating and thoughtless wife. He’s a murderer. And so was Gilles de Raiz.[120] But can you see the gap that separates them? The "word," if I can put it that way, happens to be the same in both cases, but the "meaning" is completely different. It’s pure "Hobson Jobson" to mix them up, or it’s like thinking that Juggernaut and the Argonauts are etymologically related. And surely, the same weak resemblance, or analogy, exists between all the "social" sins and the real spiritual sins, and in some cases, perhaps, the lesser sins might serve as "schoolmasters" to lead one toward the greater—from the shadows to the truth. If you know anything about theology, you’ll understand the significance of all this.'

'I am sorry to say,' remarked Cotgrave, 'that I have devoted very little of my time to theology. Indeed, I have often wondered on what grounds theologians have claimed the title of Science of Sciences for their favourite study; since the "theological" books I have looked into have always seemed to me to be concerned with feeble and obvious pieties, or with the kings of Israel and Judah. I do not care to hear about those kings.'

'I’m sorry to say,' Cotgrave remarked, 'that I haven't spent much time on theology. In fact, I've often wondered how theologians can call it the Science of Sciences because the "theological" books I've seen always seem focused on weak and obvious beliefs or the kings of Israel and Judah. I really don’t want to hear about those kings.'

Ambrose grinned.

Ambrose smiled.

'We must try to avoid theological discussion,' he said. 'I perceive that you would be a bitter disputant. But perhaps the "dates of the kings" have as much to do with theology as the hobnails of the murderous puddler with evil.'

'We should try to steer clear of theological debates,' he said. 'I can tell you'd be a tough opponent. But maybe the "dates of the kings" are just as relevant to theology as the hobnails of the killer puddler are to evil.'

'Then, to return to our main subject, you think that sin is an esoteric, occult thing?'

'So, getting back to the main topic, do you think sin is something mysterious and hidden?'

'Yes. It is the infernal miracle as holiness is the supernal. Now and then it is raised to such a pitch that we entirely fail to suspect its existence; it is like[121] the note of the great pedal pipes of the organ, which is so deep that we cannot hear it. In other cases it may lead to the lunatic asylum, or to still stranger issues. But you must never confuse it with mere social misdoing. Remember how the Apostle, speaking of the "other side," distinguishes between "charitable" actions and charity. And as one may give all one's goods to the poor, and yet lack charity; so, remember, one may avoid every crime and yet be a sinner.'

'Yes. It’s the hellish miracle just as holiness is the heavenly one. Sometimes it reaches such an intensity that we completely fail to recognize its presence; it’s like the sound from the deepest pipes of an organ, which is so low we can’t hear it. In other instances, it can lead to mental institutions or even stranger outcomes. But you should never mix it up with simple social wrongdoing. Recall how the Apostle, when talking about the "other side," makes a distinction between "charitable" actions and true charity. Just as someone can give away all their possessions to the poor and still lack charity, remember that a person can avoid every crime and still be a sinner.'

'Your psychology is very strange to me,' said Cotgrave, 'but I confess I like it, and I suppose that one might fairly deduce from your premisses the conclusion that the real sinner might very possibly strike the observer as a harmless personage enough?'

'Your mindset is really unusual to me,' said Cotgrave, 'but I admit I find it intriguing, and I guess one could reasonably conclude from your premises that the actual wrongdoer might seem to the observer like a perfectly harmless individual?'

'Certainly; because the true evil has nothing to do with social life or social laws, or if it has, only incidentally and accidentally. It is a lonely passion of the soul—or a passion of the lonely soul—whichever you like. If, by chance, we understand it, and grasp its full significance, then, indeed, it will fill us with horror and with awe. But this emotion is widely distinguished from the fear and the disgust with which we regard the ordinary criminal, since this latter is largely or entirely founded on the regard which we have for our own skins or purses. We hate a murderer, because we know that we should hate to be murdered, or to have any one that we like murdered. So, on the "other side," we venerate the saints, but we don't "like" them as we like our friends. Can you persuade yourself that you would have "enjoyed" St. Paul's company? Do you think that you and I would have "got on" with Sir Galahad?[122]

Certainly; because true evil isn't about social life or social laws, and if it is, it's only in passing. It's a lonely passion of the soul—or a passion of the lonely soul—whichever you prefer. If we happen to understand it and grasp its full significance, it will indeed fill us with horror and awe. But this feeling is very different from the fear and disgust we feel towards ordinary criminals, as the latter is mostly based on our concern for our own safety or belongings. We hate a murderer because we know we would hate to be murdered, or to see someone we care about murdered. On the other hand, we venerate the saints, but we don't "like" them in the same way we like our friends. Can you really convince yourself that you would have "enjoyed" St. Paul's company? Do you think you and I would have "gotten along" with Sir Galahad?[122]

'So with the sinners, as with the saints. If you met a very evil man, and recognized his evil; he would, no doubt, fill you with horror and awe; but there is no reason why you should "dislike" him. On the contrary, it is quite possible that if you could succeed in putting the sin out of your mind you might find the sinner capital company, and in a little while you might have to reason yourself back into horror. Still, how awful it is. If the roses and the lilies suddenly sang on this coming morning; if the furniture began to move in procession, as in De Maupassant's tale!'

'So, with sinners and saints alike. If you encountered a truly evil person and recognized their evil, they would likely fill you with horror and awe; however, there's no reason to "dislike" them. In fact, it's quite possible that if you managed to set aside their sins, you might find the sinner to be great company, and pretty soon you might have to talk yourself back into that horror. Still, how dreadful it is. What if the roses and lilies suddenly sang tomorrow morning; what if the furniture started moving in procession, like in De Maupassant's story!'

'I am glad you have come back to that comparison,' said Cotgrave, 'because I wanted to ask you what it is that corresponds in humanity to these imaginary feats of inanimate things. In a word—what is sin? You have given me, I know, an abstract definition, but I should like a concrete example.'

"I’m glad you brought up that comparison," said Cotgrave, "because I wanted to ask you what in humanity corresponds to these imaginary feats of inanimate objects. In simple terms—what is sin? I know you’ve given me an abstract definition, but I’d like a concrete example."

'I told you it was very rare,' said Ambrose, who appeared willing to avoid the giving of a direct answer. 'The materialism of the age, which has done a good deal to suppress sanctity, has done perhaps more to suppress evil. We find the earth so very comfortable that we have no inclination either for ascents or descents. It would seem as if the scholar who decided to "specialize" in Tophet, would be reduced to purely antiquarian researches. No palæontologist could show you a live pterodactyl.'

"I told you it was really rare," Ambrose said, seeming to want to avoid giving a straightforward answer. "The materialism of our time has done a lot to diminish the sacred, but it might have done even more to reduce evil. We find life on Earth so comfortable that we have no desire for either upward or downward journeys. It seems that a scholar who chose to 'specialize' in Tophet would end up only doing antiquarian research. No paleontologist could show you a live pterodactyl."

'And yet you, I think, have "specialized," and I believe that your researches have descended to our modern times.'

'And yet I believe you have become “specialized,” and I think your research has made its way into our modern times.'

'You are really interested, I see. Well, I confess, that I have dabbled a little, and if you like I can show[123] you something that bears on the very curious subject we have been discussing.'

'You seem really interested. Well, I admit that I've tried my hand at it a bit, and if you want, I can show[123] you something related to the very intriguing topic we've been discussing.'

Ambrose took a candle and went away to a far, dim corner of the room. Cotgrave saw him open a venerable bureau that stood there, and from some secret recess he drew out a parcel, and came back to the window where they had been sitting.

Ambrose picked up a candle and walked over to a distant, dim corner of the room. Cotgrave watched him open an old bureau that was there, and from a hidden space, he pulled out a parcel and returned to the window where they had been sitting.

Ambrose undid a wrapping of paper, and produced a green pocket-book.

Ambrose unwrapped some paper and took out a green wallet.

'You will take care of it?' he said. 'Don't leave it lying about. It is one of the choicer pieces in my collection, and I should be very sorry if it were lost.'

'You're going to take care of it?' he said. 'Don’t just leave it lying around. It's one of the prized items in my collection, and I would be really upset if it got lost.'

He fondled the faded binding.

He caressed the worn binding.

'I knew the girl who wrote this,' he said. 'When you read it, you will see how it illustrates the talk we have had to-night. There is a sequel, too, but I won't talk of that.'

'I knew the girl who wrote this,' he said. 'When you read it, you'll see how it reflects the conversation we've had tonight. There's a sequel as well, but I won’t get into that.'

'There was an odd article in one of the reviews some months ago,' he began again, with the air of a man who changes the subject. 'It was written by a doctor—Dr. Coryn, I think, was the name. He says that a lady, watching her little girl playing at the drawing-room window, suddenly saw the heavy sash give way and fall on the child's fingers. The lady fainted, I think, but at any rate the doctor was summoned, and when he had dressed the child's wounded and maimed fingers he was summoned to the mother. She was groaning with pain, and it was found that three fingers of her hand, corresponding with those that had been injured on the child's hand, were swollen and inflamed, and later, in the doctor's language, purulent sloughing set in.'[124]

'There was a strange article in one of the reviews a few months ago,' he started again, as if he were shifting topics. 'It was written by a doctor—Dr. Coryn, I believe was the name. He mentions that a woman, watching her little girl playing at the drawing-room window, suddenly saw the heavy window sash give way and fall on the child's fingers. The woman fainted, I think, but at any rate, the doctor was called, and when he treated the child's wounded and damaged fingers, he was then called to attend to the mother. She was groaning in pain, and it turned out that three fingers on her hand, matching the ones injured on the child's hand, were swollen and inflamed, and later, in the doctor's words, purulent sloughing set in.'[124]

Ambrose still handled delicately the green volume.

Ambrose still carefully handled the green book.

'Well, here it is,' he said at last, parting with difficulty, it seemed, from his treasure.

'Well, here it is,' he finally said, seeming to struggle to part with his treasure.

'You will bring it back as soon as you have read it,' he said, as they went out into the hall, into the old garden, faint with the odour of white lilies.

'You’ll bring it back as soon as you’ve read it,' he said as they stepped into the hall and then into the old garden, faintly scented with white lilies.

There was a broad red band in the east as Cotgrave turned to go, and from the high ground where he stood he saw that awful spectacle of London in a dream.

There was a wide red stripe in the east as Cotgrave turned to leave, and from the high ground where he stood, he saw the terrifying sight of London like it was a dream.

THE GREEN BOOK

The morocco binding of the book was faded, and the colour had grown faint, but there were no stains nor bruises nor marks of usage. The book looked as if it had been bought 'on a visit to London' some seventy or eighty years ago, and had somehow been forgotten and suffered to lie away out of sight. There was an old, delicate, lingering odour about it, such an odour as sometimes haunts an ancient piece of furniture for a century or more. The end-papers, inside the binding, were oddly decorated with coloured patterns and faded gold. It looked small, but the paper was fine, and there were many leaves, closely covered with minute, painfully formed characters.

The morocco binding of the book was faded, and the color had grown pale, but there were no stains, bruises, or signs of wear. The book looked like it had been bought "on a trip to London" about seventy or eighty years ago and had somehow been forgotten and left out of sight. There was an old, delicate, lingering scent about it, like what sometimes clings to an antique piece of furniture for a century or more. The endpapers, inside the binding, were strangely decorated with colorful patterns and faded gold. It appeared small, but the paper was high quality, and there were many pages, all closely covered with tiny, painstakingly formed characters.

I found this book (the manuscript began) in a drawer in the old bureau that stands on the landing. It was a very rainy day and I could not go out, so in the afternoon I got a candle and rummaged in the bureau. Nearly all the drawers were full of old dresses, but one of the small ones looked empty, and I found[125] this book hidden right at the back. I wanted a book like this, so I took it to write in. It is full of secrets. I have a great many other books of secrets I have written, hidden in a safe place, and I am going to write here many of the old secrets and some new ones; but there are some I shall not put down at all. I must not write down the real names of the days and months which I found out a year ago, nor the way to make the Aklo letters, or the Chian language, or the great beautiful Circles, nor the Mao Games, nor the chief songs. I may write something about all these things but not the way to do them, for peculiar reasons. And I must not say who the Nymphs are, or the Dôls, or Jeelo, or what voolas mean. All these are most secret secrets, and I am glad when I remember what they are, and how many wonderful languages I know, but there are some things that I call the secrets of the secrets of the secrets that I dare not think of unless I am quite alone, and then I shut my eyes, and put my hands over them and whisper the word, and the Alala comes. I only do this at night in my room or in certain woods that I know, but I must not describe them, as they are secret woods. Then there are the Ceremonies, which are all of them important, but some are more delightful than others—there are the White Ceremonies, and the Green Ceremonies, and the Scarlet Ceremonies. The Scarlet Ceremonies are the best, but there is only one place where they can be performed properly, though there is a very nice imitation which I have done in other places. Besides these, I have the dances, and the Comedy, and I have done the Comedy sometimes when the others were looking, and they didn't understand[126] anything about it. I was very little when I first knew about these things.

I found this book (the manuscript began) in a drawer of the old bureau on the landing. It was a really rainy day, and I couldn’t go outside, so in the afternoon, I got a candle and searched through the bureau. Most of the drawers were packed with old dresses, but one of the small ones seemed empty, and I found[125] this book hidden way at the back. I wanted a book like this, so I took it to write in. It’s filled with secrets. I have a lot of other secret books I’ve written, tucked away in a safe place, and I plan to write many of the old secrets here, along with some new ones; but there are some I won’t write down at all. I mustn’t write the real names of the days and months that I discovered a year ago, nor how to create the Aklo letters, the Chian language, the great beautiful Circles, the Mao Games, or the main songs. I might write about all these things but not the methods, for specific reasons. And I can’t reveal who the Nymphs are, or the Dôls, or Jeelo, or what voolas mean. All these are super secret secrets, and I feel happy when I recall what they are and how many amazing languages I know, but there are also things I refer to as the secrets of the secrets of the secrets that I can’t think about unless I’m completely alone, and then I close my eyes, cover them with my hands, and whisper the word, and the Alala comes. I only do this at night in my room or in certain woods I know, but I can’t describe them because they are secret woods. Then there are the Ceremonies, all of which are important, but some are more enjoyable than others—there are the White Ceremonies, the Green Ceremonies, and the Scarlet Ceremonies. The Scarlet Ceremonies are the best, but there’s only one place where they can be done properly, although I’ve managed a nice imitation in other locations. Besides these, I have the dances and the Comedy, and I’ve performed the Comedy sometimes when others were watching, and they didn’t understand[126] anything about it. I was very little when I first learned about these things.

When I was very small, and mother was alive, I can remember remembering things before that, only it has all got confused. But I remember when I was five or six I heard them talking about me when they thought I was not noticing. They were saying how queer I was a year or two before, and how nurse had called my mother to come and listen to me talking all to myself, and I was saying words that nobody could understand. I was speaking the Xu language, but I only remember a very few of the words, as it was about the little white faces that used to look at me when I was lying in my cradle. They used to talk to me, and I learnt their language and talked to them in it about some great white place where they lived, where the trees and the grass were all white, and there were white hills as high up as the moon, and a cold wind. I have often dreamed of it afterwards, but the faces went away when I was very little. But a wonderful thing happened when I was about five. My nurse was carrying me on her shoulder; there was a field of yellow corn, and we went through it, it was very hot. Then we came to a path through a wood, and a tall man came after us, and went with us till we came to a place where there was a deep pool, and it was very dark and shady. Nurse put me down on the soft moss under a tree, and she said: 'She can't get to the pond now.' So they left me there, and I sat quite still and watched, and out of the water and out of the wood came two wonderful white people, and they began to play and dance and sing. They were a kind of creamy white like the old ivory figure[127] in the drawing-room; one was a beautiful lady with kind dark eyes, and a grave face, and long black hair, and she smiled such a strange sad smile at the other, who laughed and came to her. They played together, and danced round and round the pool, and they sang a song till I fell asleep. Nurse woke me up when she came back, and she was looking something like the lady had looked, so I told her all about it, and asked her why she looked like that. At first she cried, and then she looked very frightened, and turned quite pale. She put me down on the grass and stared at me, and I could see she was shaking all over. Then she said I had been dreaming, but I knew I hadn't. Then she made me promise not to say a word about it to anybody, and if I did I should be thrown into the black pit. I was not frightened at all, though nurse was, and I never forgot about it, because when I shut my eyes and it was quite quiet, and I was all alone, I could see them again, very faint and far away, but very splendid; and little bits of the song they sang came into my head, but I couldn't sing it.

When I was really small, and my mom was still alive, I remember some things from before that, but it's all a bit jumbled. I can recall being around five or six and overhearing people talk about me, thinking I wasn’t paying attention. They were saying how strange I had been a year or two earlier, and how the nurse had called my mom to listen to me chatting away to myself, saying words that no one understood. I was speaking the Xu language, but I only remember a few words, mostly about the little white faces that would look at me when I was in my crib. They would talk to me, and I learned their language, discussing some amazing white place where they lived, where the trees and grass were all white, with hills that reached as high as the moon and a cold breeze. I’ve often dreamed about it later, but the faces disappeared when I was really young. But something incredible happened when I was about five. My nurse was carrying me on her shoulder; we walked through a field of yellow corn on a really hot day. Then we found a path through the woods, and a tall man followed us until we reached a spot with a deep pool that was dark and shady. Nurse set me down on the soft moss under a tree and said, "She can’t get to the pond now." So they left me there, and I sat quietly and watched. Out of the water and the woods came two amazing white beings, and they started to play, dance, and sing. They were a creamy white, like the old ivory figure in the drawing room; one was a lovely lady with kind dark eyes, a serious face, and long black hair, who smiled at the other, who laughed and came over to her. They played and danced around the pool, singing a song until I fell asleep. Nurse woke me when she returned, and she looked a bit like the lady had, so I told her everything and asked why she looked like that. At first, she cried, then appeared really scared and went pale. She set me down on the grass and stared at me, visibly shaking. Then she said I had been dreaming, but I knew I hadn’t. She made me promise not to tell anyone about it, saying if I did, I would be thrown into the black pit. I wasn’t scared, even though nurse was, and I never forgot it, because whenever I closed my eyes in quiet moments, all alone, I could see them again—faint and far away, but incredibly beautiful; little bits of the song they sang would pop into my head, but I couldn’t sing it.

I was thirteen, nearly fourteen, when I had a very singular adventure, so strange that the day on which it happened is always called the White Day. My mother had been dead for more than a year, and in the morning I had lessons, but they let me go out for walks in the afternoon. And this afternoon I walked a new way, and a little brook led me into a new country, but I tore my frock getting through some of the difficult places, as the way was through many bushes, and beneath the low branches of trees, and up thorny thickets on the hills, and by dark woods full of creeping thorns. And it was a long, long way. It seemed[128] as if I was going on for ever and ever, and I had to creep by a place like a tunnel where a brook must have been, but all the water had dried up, and the floor was rocky, and the bushes had grown overhead till they met, so that it was quite dark. And I went on and on through that dark place; it was a long, long way. And I came to a hill that I never saw before. I was in a dismal thicket full of black twisted boughs that tore me as I went through them, and I cried out because I was smarting all over, and then I found that I was climbing, and I went up and up a long way, till at last the thicket stopped and I came out crying just under the top of a big bare place, where there were ugly grey stones lying all about on the grass, and here and there a little twisted, stunted tree came out from under a stone, like a snake. And I went up, right to the top, a long way. I never saw such big ugly stones before; they came out of the earth some of them, and some looked as if they had been rolled to where they were, and they went on and on as far as I could see, a long, long way. I looked out from them and saw the country, but it was strange. It was winter time, and there were black terrible woods hanging from the hills all round; it was like seeing a large room hung with black curtains, and the shape of the trees seemed quite different from any I had ever seen before. I was afraid. Then beyond the woods there were other hills round in a great ring, but I had never seen any of them; it all looked black, and everything had a voor over it. It was all so still and silent, and the sky was heavy and grey and sad, like a wicked voorish dome in Deep Dendo. I went on into the dreadful rocks. There were hundreds and hundreds[129] of them. Some were like horrid-grinning men; I could see their faces as if they would jump at me out of the stone, and catch hold of me, and drag me with them back into the rock, so that I should always be there. And there were other rocks that were like animals, creeping, horrible animals, putting out their tongues, and others were like words that I could not say, and others like dead people lying on the grass. I went on among them, though they frightened me, and my heart was full of wicked songs that they put into it; and I wanted to make faces and twist myself about in the way they did, and I went on and on a long way till at last I liked the rocks, and they didn't frighten me any more. I sang the songs I thought of; songs full of words that must not be spoken or written down. Then I made faces like the faces on the rocks, and I twisted myself about like the twisted ones, and I lay down flat on the ground like the dead ones, and I went up to one that was grinning, and put my arms round him and hugged him. And so I went on and on through the rocks till I came to a round mound in the middle of them. It was higher than a mound, it was nearly as high as our house, and it was like a great basin turned upside down, all smooth and round and green, with one stone, like a post, sticking up at the top. I climbed up the sides, but they were so steep I had to stop or I should have rolled all the way down again, and I should have knocked against the stones at the bottom, and perhaps been killed. But I wanted to get up to the very top of the big round mound, so I lay down flat on my face, and took hold of the grass with my hands and drew myself up, bit by bit, till I was at the top. Then I sat down on the[130] stone in the middle, and looked all round about. I felt I had come such a long, long way, just as if I were a hundred miles from home, or in some other country, or in one of the strange places I had read about in the 'Tales of the Genie' and the 'Arabian Nights,' or as if I had gone across the sea, far away, for years and I had found another world that nobody had ever seen or heard of before, or as if I had somehow flown through the sky and fallen on one of the stars I had read about where everything is dead and cold and grey, and there is no air, and the wind doesn't blow. I sat on the stone and looked all round and down and round about me. It was just as if I was sitting on a tower in the middle of a great empty town, because I could see nothing all around but the grey rocks on the ground. I couldn't make out their shapes any more, but I could see them on and on for a long way, and I looked at them, and they seemed as if they had been arranged into patterns, and shapes, and figures. I knew they couldn't be, because I had seen a lot of them coming right out of the earth, joined to the deep rocks below, so I looked again, but still I saw nothing but circles, and small circles inside big ones, and pyramids, and domes, and spires, and they seemed all to go round and round the place where I was sitting, and the more I looked, the more I saw great big rings of rocks, getting bigger and bigger, and I stared so long that it felt as if they were all moving and turning, like a great wheel, and I was turning, too, in the middle. I got quite dizzy and queer in the head, and everything began to be hazy and not clear, and I saw little sparks of blue light, and the stones looked as if they were springing and dancing and twisting as they[131] went round and round and round. I was frightened again, and I cried out loud, and jumped up from the stone I was sitting on, and fell down. When I got up I was so glad they all looked still, and I sat down on the top and slid down the mound, and went on again. I danced as I went in the peculiar way the rocks had danced when I got giddy, and I was so glad I could do it quite well, and I danced and danced along, and sang extraordinary songs that came into my head. At last I came to the edge of that great flat hill, and there were no more rocks, and the way went again through a dark thicket in a hollow. It was just as bad as the other one I went through climbing up, but I didn't mind this one, because I was so glad I had seen those singular dances and could imitate them. I went down, creeping through the bushes, and a tall nettle stung me on my leg, and made me burn, but I didn't mind it, and I tingled with the boughs and the thorns, but I only laughed and sang. Then I got out of the thicket into a close valley, a little secret place like a dark passage that nobody ever knows of, because it was so narrow and deep and the woods were so thick round it. There is a steep bank with trees hanging over it, and there the ferns keep green all through the winter, when they are dead and brown upon the hill, and the ferns there have a sweet, rich smell like what oozes out of fir trees. There was a little stream of water running down this valley, so small that I could easily step across it. I drank the water with my hand, and it tasted like bright, yellow wine, and it sparkled and bubbled as it ran down over beautiful red and yellow and green stones, so that it seemed alive and all colours at once. I drank it, and[132] I drank more with my hand, but I couldn't drink enough, so I lay down and bent my head and sucked the water up with my lips. It tasted much better, drinking it that way, and a ripple would come up to my mouth and give me a kiss, and I laughed, and drank again, and pretended there was a nymph, like the one in the old picture at home, who lived in the water and was kissing me. So I bent low down to the water, and put my lips softly to it, and whispered to the nymph that I would come again. I felt sure it could not be common water, I was so glad when I got up and went on; and I danced again and went up and up the valley, under hanging hills. And when I came to the top, the ground rose up in front of me, tall and steep as a wall, and there was nothing but the green wall and the sky. I thought of 'for ever and for ever, world without end, Amen'; and I thought I must have really found the end of the world, because it was like the end of everything, as if there could be nothing at all beyond, except the kingdom of Voor, where the light goes when it is put out, and the water goes when the sun takes it away. I began to think of all the long, long way I had journeyed, how I had found a brook and followed it, and followed it on, and gone through bushes and thorny thickets, and dark woods full of creeping thorns. Then I had crept up a tunnel under trees, and climbed a thicket, and seen all the grey rocks, and sat in the middle of them when they turned round, and then I had gone on through the grey rocks and come down the hill through the stinging thicket and up the dark valley, all a long, long way. I wondered how I should get home again, if I could ever find the way, and if my home was there any[133] more, or if it were turned and everybody in it into grey rocks, as in the 'Arabian Nights.' So I sat down on the grass and thought what I should do next. I was tired, and my feet were hot with walking, and as I looked about I saw there was a wonderful well just under the high, steep wall of grass. All the ground round it was covered with bright, green, dripping moss; there was every kind of moss there, moss like beautiful little ferns, and like palms and fir trees, and it was all green as jewellery, and drops of water hung on it like diamonds. And in the middle was the great well, deep and shining and beautiful, so clear that it looked as if I could touch the red sand at the bottom, but it was far below. I stood by it and looked in, as if I were looking in a glass. At the bottom of the well, in the middle of it, the red grains of sand were moving and stirring all the time, and I saw how the water bubbled up, but at the top it was quite smooth, and full and brimming. It was a great well, large like a bath, and with the shining, glittering green moss about it, it looked like a great white jewel, with green jewels all round. My feet were so hot and tired that I took off my boots and stockings, and let my feet down into the water, and the water was soft and cold, and when I got up I wasn't tired any more, and I felt I must go on, farther and farther, and see what was on the other side of the wall. I climbed up it very slowly, going sideways all the time, and when I got to the top and looked over, I was in the queerest country I had seen, stranger even than the hill of the grey rocks. It looked as if earth-children had been playing there with their spades, as it was all hills and hollows, and castles and walls made of earth[134] and covered with grass. There were two mounds like big beehives, round and great and solemn, and then hollow basins, and then a steep mounting wall like the ones I saw once by the seaside where the big guns and the soldiers were. I nearly fell into one of the round hollows, it went away from under my feet so suddenly, and I ran fast down the side and stood at the bottom and looked up. It was strange and solemn to look up. There was nothing but the grey, heavy sky and the sides of the hollow; everything else had gone away, and the hollow was the whole world, and I thought that at night it must be full of ghosts and moving shadows and pale things when the moon shone down to the bottom at the dead of the night, and the wind wailed up above. It was so strange and solemn and lonely, like a hollow temple of dead heathen gods. It reminded me of a tale my nurse had told me when I was quite little; it was the same nurse that took me into the wood where I saw the beautiful white people. And I remembered how nurse had told me the story one winter night, when the wind was beating the trees against the wall, and crying and moaning in the nursery chimney. She said there was, somewhere or other, a hollow pit, just like the one I was standing in, everybody was afraid to go into it or near it, it was such a bad place. But once upon a time there was a poor girl who said she would go into the hollow pit, and everybody tried to stop her, but she would go. And she went down into the pit and came back laughing, and said there was nothing there at all, except green grass and red stones, and white stones and yellow flowers. And soon after people saw she had most beautiful emerald earrings,[135] and they asked how she got them, as she and her mother were quite poor. But she laughed, and said her earrings were not made of emeralds at all, but only of green grass. Then, one day, she wore on her breast the reddest ruby that any one had ever seen, and it was as big as a hen's egg, and glowed and sparkled like a hot burning coal of fire. And they asked how she got it, as she and her mother were quite poor. But she laughed, and said it was not a ruby at all, but only a red stone. Then one day she wore round her neck the loveliest necklace that any one had ever seen, much finer than the queen's finest, and it was made of great bright diamonds, hundreds of them, and they shone like all the stars on a night in June. So they asked her how she got it, as she and her mother were quite poor. But she laughed, and said they were not diamonds at all, but only white stones. And one day she went to the Court, and she wore on her head a crown of pure angel-gold, so nurse said, and it shone like the sun, and it was much more splendid than the crown the king was wearing himself, and in her ears she wore the emeralds, and the big ruby was the brooch on her breast, and the great diamond necklace was sparkling on her neck. And the king and queen thought she was some great princess from a long way off, and got down from their thrones and went to meet her, but somebody told the king and queen who she was, and that she was quite poor. So the king asked why she wore a gold crown, and how she got it, as she and her mother were so poor. And she laughed, and said it wasn't a gold crown at all, but only some yellow flowers she had put in her hair. And the king thought it was very[136] strange, and said she should stay at the Court, and they would see what would happen next. And she was so lovely that everybody said that her eyes were greener than the emeralds, that her lips were redder than the ruby, that her skin was whiter than the diamonds, and that her hair was brighter than the golden crown. So the king's son said he would marry her, and the king said he might. And the bishop married them, and there was a great supper, and afterwards the king's son went to his wife's room. But just when he had his hand on the door, he saw a tall, black man, with a dreadful face, standing in front of the door, and a voice said—

I was thirteen, almost fourteen, when I had a very unusual adventure, so strange that the day it happened is always called the White Day. My mother had been gone for over a year, and in the morning I had lessons, but they let me take walks in the afternoon. On this particular afternoon, I walked a new path, and a little brook led me into a different country. However, I tore my dress getting through some tricky spots, as the path was full of bushes, low-hanging tree branches, and thorny thickets on the hills, along with dark woods filled with creeping thorns. It was a long, long way. It felt like I was walking forever, and I had to crawl through a spot like a tunnel where the brook must have been, but all the water had dried up. The ground was rocky, and the bushes had grown overhead until they met, making it quite dark. I kept going through that dark place; it was a long, long way. Eventually, I reached a hill I had never seen before. I found myself in a gloomy thicket filled with twisted black branches that scratched me as I passed through, and I cried out because I was stinging all over. Then I realized I was climbing, and I went up and up for a long time until finally, the thicket ended, and I came out crying just under the top of a large bare area, where ugly grey stones lay scattered among the grass, and little twisted, stunted trees peeked out from under the stones like snakes. I climbed all the way to the top. I had never seen such big, ugly stones before; some seemed to be emerging from the earth, while others looked like they had been rolled there. They stretched on and on as far as I could see, a long, long way. I looked out from among them and saw the surrounding country, but it was strange. It was winter, and there were dark, ominous woods hanging from the hills all around; it felt like looking into a large room draped with black curtains, and the shapes of the trees looked completely different from any I had seen before. I was scared. Beyond the woods, there were other hills circling around in a vast ring that I had never seen; everything looked black, covered in a gloomy shade. It was eerily still and silent, and the sky was heavy, grey, and sorrowful, like a sinister dome in Deep Dendo. I continued into the terrifying rocks. There were hundreds and hundreds of them. Some looked like men with grotesque grins; I could see their faces as if they were about to leap out at me from the stone, grab me, and drag me back into the rock, so that I would be stuck there forever. There were other rocks that resembled creeping, horrible animals, sticking out their tongues, and others that looked like unpronounceable words, and some like dead people lying on the grass. Despite my fear, I moved among them; my heart was filled with wicked songs they put there, and I wanted to make faces and twist my body like they did. I kept going and going until eventually, I began to like the rocks, and they no longer scared me. I sang the songs I came up with, filled with words that could not be spoken or written down. Then I made faces like those on the rocks, twisted myself like the twisted ones, lay flat on the ground like the dead ones, and approached one that was grinning, wrapping my arms around it and hugging it. I continued through the rocks until I reached a round mound in the center. It was taller than a mound – nearly as tall as our house – shaped like a giant basin turned upside down, smooth, round, and green, with one stone sticking up at the top like a post. I climbed up its sides, but they were so steep that I had to stop or I would have rolled all the way down again, possibly smashing against the stones and getting hurt. Still, I wanted to reach the very top of the big round mound, so I lay flat on my stomach, grasped the grass with my hands, and pulled myself up bit by bit until I made it to the top. Then I sat on the stone in the middle and looked all around. I felt like I had traveled such a long way, as if I were a hundred miles from home, or in another country, or one of the strange places from the 'Tales of the Genie' and the 'Arabian Nights,' or like I had flown through the sky and landed on one of the stars I’d read about, where everything is dead, cold, and grey, without air, and where the wind doesn’t blow. I sat on the stone and looked around at everything. It felt like I was sitting on a tower in a huge empty town, because the only things I could see around me were the grey rocks on the ground. I couldn't make out their shapes anymore, but I could see them stretching on for a long way, and it seemed like they were arranged into patterns, shapes, and figures. I knew they couldn't be organized like that because I'd seen many of them coming straight out of the earth, connected to the deep rocks below. So I looked again, but still I saw nothing but circles, small circles inside big ones, pyramids, domes, and spires, which seemed to revolve around the spot where I was sitting. The more I looked, the more I saw massive rings of rocks getting larger and larger, and I stared so long that it felt like they were all swirling and turning, like a giant wheel, with me spinning in the middle. I started to feel dizzy and disoriented, and everything became blurry and unclear, with little sparks of blue light flashing before my eyes. The stones seemed to be dancing and twisting as they spun around. I grew scared once more, shouted loudly, jumped up from the stone I was on, and fell down. When I got back up, I was relieved to see everything still, so I sat back on top and slid down the mound, then continued on. I danced as I moved in the unusual way the rocks had danced when I felt dizzy, and I was overjoyed to find that I could do it quite well. I danced and danced, singing the extraordinary songs that came to my mind. Eventually, I reached the edge of that vast flat hill, and there were no more rocks. The path led through another dark thicket in a hollow. It was just as challenging as the one I had climbed through, but I didn’t mind this one because I was so grateful to have witnessed those odd dances and could mimic them. I went down, crawling through the bushes, and a tall nettle stung my leg, making it burn, but I didn’t care, I tingled as I brushed against the branches and thorns, only laughing and singing. I emerged from the thicket into a secluded valley, a little secret place like a dark passage that no one ever knows about because it was so narrow and deep, with thick woods surrounding it. There was a steep bank with trees looming over it, and there the ferns stayed green all winter, while they turned brown and died on the hill. The ferns there had a sweet, rich scent, like what oozes from fir trees. A little stream of water flowed down this valley, so small that I could easily step across it. I drank the water with my hand, and it tasted like bright, yellow wine, sparkling and bubbling as it cascaded over beautiful red, yellow, and green stones, seeming alive and colorful all at once. I drank and drank more with my hand, but I still couldn’t get enough, so I lay down and bent my head, sucking the water up with my lips. It tasted so much better that way; ripples would reach my mouth and give me kisses, making me laugh, and I drank again, pretending there was a nymph, like the one in the old picture at home, living in the water and kissing me. So I leaned down close to the water, placed my lips gently on it, and whispered to the nymph that I would return. I was convinced it couldn’t be ordinary water; I was so happy when I finally got up and continued on, and I danced again, moving further and further up the valley, beneath overhanging hills. When I reached the top, the ground rose before me, tall and steep like a wall, and all I saw was the green wall and the sky. I thought about “forever and ever, world without end, Amen,” and I imagined I had genuinely found the end of the world, as it felt like the end of everything, as if there could be nothing whatsoever beyond it, except the kingdom of Voor, where the light goes when it’s extinguished, and the water goes when the sun takes it away. I started to consider the long journey I had taken, how I had discovered a brook and followed it, navigating through bushes and thorny thickets, dark woods filled with creeping thorns. Then I had crawled through a tunnel beneath trees, climbed a thicket, and seen the grey rocks, sat in the midst of them as they spun around, and then moved through the grey rocks down the hill through the stinging thicket and into the dark valley, all a long, long way. I wondered how I would get home again, if I could ever find my way back, and if my home still existed, or if it had somehow transformed – along with everyone in it – into grey rocks, like in the 'Arabian Nights.' So I sat on the grass, thinking about what I should do next. I was tired, and my feet were hot from walking. As I looked around, I spotted a wonderful well just below the high, steep grass wall. The ground around it was covered with bright, green, dripping moss; there was every kind of moss there, moss that resembled beautiful little ferns, palms, and fir trees, all green as jewels, with water droplets hanging on it like diamonds. In the center stood a great well, deep, shining, and beautiful, so clear that it looked as if I could touch the red sand at the bottom, though it was much further down. I stood by it, gazing in like I was looking into a mirror. At the bottom of the well, in the middle, the red grains of sand were constantly moving and stirring, and I saw how the water bubbled up, but at the top, it was completely smooth, full, and brimming. It was a great well, large like a bathtub, and with the shining, glimmering green moss surrounding it, it looked like a massive white jewel with green jewels all around. My feet were so hot and tired that I took off my boots and socks, dipped my feet into the water, and it felt soft and cold. When I stood up, I no longer felt tired; I felt compelled to go on, further and further, to see what lay on the other side of the wall. I climbed it very slowly, going sideways all the way, and when I reached the top and looked over, I found myself in the strangest land I had ever seen, even stranger than the hill of grey rocks. It looked as if children from Earth had been playing there with their spades, as it was all mounds and hollows, castles, and walls made of earth covered with grass. There were two mounds like giant beehives, round, large, and solemn, along with hollow basins, and then a steep mounting wall like the ones I had seen once by the seaside where the big guns and soldiers were stationed. I nearly fell into one of the round hollows, as it dropped away from underneath my feet so suddenly, and I quickly ran down its side, standing at the bottom and looking up. It felt strange and solemn to gaze upward. There was nothing but the grey, heavy sky and the hollow sides; everything else had disappeared, and the hollow felt like the entire world. I thought that at night it must fill with ghosts, moving shadows, and pale things when the moon shone down to the bottom in the dead of night, and the wind wailed above. It felt so strange, solemn, and lonely, like a hollow temple of dead pagan gods. It reminded me of a tale my nurse had told me when I was a little child; it was the same nurse who had taken me into the woods where I saw the beautiful white people. I recalled how she had shared the story with me one winter night when the wind was slamming the trees against the wall, wailing and moaning in the nursery chimney. She said there was, somewhere, a hollow pit just like the one I stood in; everyone was terrified to go near it because it was such a dangerous place. But once, there was a poor girl who insisted on going into the hollow pit, and everyone tried to stop her, but she was determined. She ventured down into the pit and returned laughing, saying there was nothing there at all, just green grass, red stones, white stones, and yellow flowers. Soon after, people noticed she had beautiful emerald earrings, and they asked her how she got them since she and her mother were quite poor. But she laughed, saying her earrings were not made of emeralds at all, just green grass. Then one day, she wore the reddest ruby anyone had ever seen, as big as a hen's egg, glowing and sparkling like fiery coals. People asked her how she acquired it, but she laughed, saying it was just a red stone. Then one day she adorned herself with the loveliest necklace anyone had ever laid eyes on, much finer than the queen's finest, made of dazzling diamonds, hundreds of them, shining like all the stars on a June night. Again, people questioned her about how she came by it, but she grinned, saying they were not diamonds at all, just white stones. One day she visited the Court, wearing a crown of pure angel-gold, shining like the sun and far more splendid than the king’s own crown. In her ears hung the emeralds, the big ruby served as the brooch on her breast, and the grand diamond necklace sparkled around her neck. The king and queen thought she was a great princess from far away and got off their thrones to greet her, but someone informed the king and queen of her true identity, noting her poverty. So the king asked why she wore a gold crown and how she obtained it since she and her mother were so poor. She laughed, replying it wasn’t a gold crown at all, but just some yellow flowers she had woven into her hair. The king found it very strange, deciding she should stay at the Court to see what would happen next. And she was so beautiful that everyone claimed her eyes were greener than emeralds, her lips redder than rubies, her skin whiter than diamonds, and her hair brighter than her golden crown. Consequently, the king’s son declared he would marry her, and the king permitted it. The bishop married them, there was a grand feast, and afterward, the king’s son approached his wife's room. Just then, as he placed his hand on the door, he saw a tall, black man with a terrifying face standing in front of the door, and a voice said —

Don't gamble with your life,
This is my own wife.

Then the king's son fell down on the ground in a fit. And they came and tried to get into the room, but they couldn't, and they hacked at the door with hatchets, but the wood had turned hard as iron, and at last everybody ran away, they were so frightened at the screaming and laughing and shrieking and crying that came out of the room. But next day they went in, and found there was nothing in the room but thick black smoke, because the black man had come and taken her away. And on the bed there were two knots of faded grass and a red stone, and some white stones, and some faded yellow flowers. I remembered this tale of nurse's while I was standing at the bottom of the deep hollow; it was so strange and solitary there, and I felt afraid. I could not see any stones or flowers, but I was afraid of bringing them away without knowing, and I thought I would do a charm[137] that came into my head to keep the black man away. So I stood right in the very middle of the hollow, and I made sure that I had none of those things on me, and then I walked round the place, and touched my eyes, and my lips, and my hair in a peculiar manner, and whispered some queer words that nurse taught me to keep bad things away. Then I felt safe and climbed up out of the hollow, and went on through all those mounds and hollows and walls, till I came to the end, which was high above all the rest, and I could see that all the different shapes of the earth were arranged in patterns, something like the grey rocks, only the pattern was different. It was getting late, and the air was indistinct, but it looked from where I was standing something like two great figures of people lying on the grass. And I went on, and at last I found a certain wood, which is too secret to be described, and nobody knows of the passage into it, which I found out in a very curious manner, by seeing some little animal run into the wood through it. So I went after the animal by a very narrow dark way, under thorns and bushes, and it was almost dark when I came to a kind of open place in the middle. And there I saw the most wonderful sight I have ever seen, but it was only for a minute, as I ran away directly, and crept out of the wood by the passage I had come by, and ran and ran as fast as ever I could, because I was afraid, what I had seen was so wonderful and so strange and beautiful. But I wanted to get home and think of it, and I did not know what might not happen if I stayed by the wood. I was hot all over and trembling, and my heart was beating, and strange cries that I could not help came from me as[138] I ran from the wood. I was glad that a great white moon came up from over a round hill and showed me the way, so I went back through the mounds and hollows and down the close valley, and up through the thicket over the place of the grey rocks, and so at last I got home again. My father was busy in his study, and the servants had not told about my not coming home, though they were frightened, and wondered what they ought to do, so I told them I had lost my way, but I did not let them find out the real way I had been. I went to bed and lay awake all through the night, thinking of what I had seen. When I came out of the narrow way, and it looked all shining, though the air was dark, it seemed so certain, and all the way home I was quite sure that I had seen it, and I wanted to be alone in my room, and be glad over it all to myself, and shut my eyes and pretend it was there, and do all the things I would have done if I had not been so afraid. But when I shut my eyes the sight would not come, and I began to think about my adventures all over again, and I remembered how dusky and queer it was at the end, and I was afraid it must be all a mistake, because it seemed impossible it could happen. It seemed like one of nurse's tales, which I didn't really believe in, though I was frightened at the bottom of the hollow; and the stories she told me when I was little came back into my head, and I wondered whether it was really there what I thought I had seen, or whether any of her tales could have happened a long time ago. It was so queer; I lay awake there in my room at the back of the house, and the moon was shining on the other side towards the river, so the bright light did not fall upon the[139] wall. And the house was quite still. I had heard my father come upstairs, and just after the clock struck twelve, and after the house was still and empty, as if there was nobody alive in it. And though it was all dark and indistinct in my room, a pale glimmering kind of light shone in through the white blind, and once I got up and looked out, and there was a great black shadow of the house covering the garden, looking like a prison where men are hanged; and then beyond it was all white; and the wood shone white with black gulfs between the trees. It was still and clear, and there were no clouds on the sky. I wanted to think of what I had seen but I couldn't, and I began to think of all the tales that nurse had told me so long ago that I thought I had forgotten, but they all came back, and mixed up with the thickets and the grey rocks and the hollows in the earth and the secret wood, till I hardly knew what was new and what was old, or whether it was not all dreaming. And then I remembered that hot summer afternoon, so long ago, when nurse left me by myself in the shade, and the white people came out of the water and out of the wood, and played, and danced, and sang, and I began to fancy that nurse told me about something like it before I saw them, only I couldn't recollect exactly what she told me. Then I wondered whether she had been the white lady, as I remembered she was just as white and beautiful, and had the same dark eyes and black hair; and sometimes she smiled and looked like the lady had looked, when she was telling me some of her stories, beginning with 'Once on a time,' or 'In the time of the fairies.' But I thought she couldn't be the lady, as she seemed to have gone a[140] different way into the wood, and I didn't think the man who came after us could be the other, or I couldn't have seen that wonderful secret in the secret wood. I thought of the moon: but it was afterwards when I was in the middle of the wild land, where the earth was made into the shape of great figures, and it was all walls, and mysterious hollows, and smooth round mounds, that I saw the great white moon come up over a round hill. I was wondering about all these things, till at last I got quite frightened, because I was afraid something had happened to me, and I remembered nurse's tale of the poor girl who went into the hollow pit, and was carried away at last by the black man. I knew I had gone into a hollow pit too, and perhaps it was the same, and I had done something dreadful. So I did the charm over again, and touched my eyes and my lips and my hair in a peculiar manner, and said the old words from the fairy language, so that I might be sure I had not been carried away. I tried again to see the secret wood, and to creep up the passage and see what I had seen there, but somehow I couldn't, and I kept on thinking of nurse's stories. There was one I remembered about a young man who once upon a time went hunting, and all the day he and his hounds hunted everywhere, and they crossed the rivers and went into all the woods, and went round the marshes, but they couldn't find anything at all, and they hunted all day till the sun sank down and began to set behind the mountain. And the young man was angry because he couldn't find anything, and he was going to turn back, when just as the sun touched the mountain, he saw come out of a brake in front of him a beautiful white stag. And[141] he cheered to his hounds, but they whined and would not follow, and he cheered to his horse, but it shivered and stood stock still, and the young man jumped off the horse and left the hounds and began to follow the white stag all alone. And soon it was quite dark, and the sky was black, without a single star shining in it, and the stag went away into the darkness. And though the man had brought his gun with him he never shot at the stag, because he wanted to catch it, and he was afraid he would lose it in the night. But he never lost it once, though the sky was so black and the air was so dark, and the stag went on and on till the young man didn't know a bit where he was. And they went through enormous woods where the air was full of whispers and a pale, dead light came out from the rotten trunks that were lying on the ground, and just as the man thought he had lost the stag, he would see it all white and shining in front of him, and he would run fast to catch it, but the stag always ran faster, so he did not catch it. And they went through the enormous woods, and they swam across rivers, and they waded through black marshes where the ground bubbled, and the air was full of will-o'-the-wisps, and the stag fled away down into rocky narrow valleys, where the air was like the smell of a vault, and the man went after it. And they went over the great mountains and the man heard the wind come down from the sky, and the stag went on and the man went after. At last the sun rose and the young man found he was in a country that he had never seen before; it was a beautiful valley with a bright stream running through it, and a great, big round hill in the middle. And the stag went down the valley, towards[142] the hill, and it seemed to be getting tired and went slower and slower, and though the man was tired, too, he began to run faster, and he was sure he would catch the stag at last. But just as they got to the bottom of the hill, and the man stretched out his hand to catch the stag, it vanished into the earth, and the man began to cry; he was so sorry that he had lost it after all his long hunting. But as he was crying he saw there was a door in the hill, just in front of him, and he went in, and it was quite dark, but he went on, as he thought he would find the white stag. And all of a sudden it got light, and there was the sky, and the sun shining, and birds singing in the trees, and there was a beautiful fountain. And by the fountain a lovely lady was sitting, who was the queen of the fairies, and she told the man that she had changed herself into a stag to bring him there because she loved him so much. Then she brought out a great gold cup, covered with jewels, from her fairy palace, and she offered him wine in the cup to drink. And he drank, and the more he drank the more he longed to drink, because the wine was enchanted. So he kissed the lovely lady, and she became his wife, and he stayed all that day and all that night in the hill where she lived, and when he woke he found he was lying on the ground, close to where he had seen the stag first, and his horse was there and his hounds were there waiting, and he looked up, and the sun sank behind the mountain. And he went home and lived a long time, but he would never kiss any other lady because he had kissed the queen of the fairies, and he would never drink common wine any more, because he had drunk enchanted wine. And sometimes nurse told me tales that she had[143] heard from her great-grandmother, who was very old, and lived in a cottage on the mountain all alone, and most of these tales were about a hill where people used to meet at night long ago, and they used to play all sorts of strange games and do queer things that nurse told me of, but I couldn't understand, and now, she said, everybody but her great-grandmother had forgotten all about it, and nobody knew where the hill was, not even her great-grandmother. But she told me one very strange story about the hill, and I trembled when I remembered it. She said that people always went there in summer, when it was very hot, and they had to dance a good deal. It would be all dark at first, and there were trees there, which made it much darker, and people would come, one by one, from all directions, by a secret path which nobody else knew, and two persons would keep the gate, and every one as they came up had to give a very curious sign, which nurse showed me as well as she could, but she said she couldn't show me properly. And all kinds of people would come; there would be gentle folks and village folks, and some old people and boys and girls, and quite small children, who sat and watched. And it would all be dark as they came in, except in one corner where some one was burning something that smelt strong and sweet, and made them laugh, and there one would see a glaring of coals, and the smoke mounting up red. So they would all come in, and when the last had come there was no door any more, so that no one else could get in, even if they knew there was anything beyond. And once a gentleman who was a stranger and had ridden a long way, lost his path at night, and his horse took him into the very[144] middle of the wild country, where everything was upside down, and there were dreadful marshes and great stones everywhere, and holes underfoot, and the trees looked like gibbet-posts, because they had great black arms that stretched out across the way. And this strange gentleman was very frightened, and his horse began to shiver all over, and at last it stopped and wouldn't go any farther, and the gentleman got down and tried to lead the horse, but it wouldn't move, and it was all covered with a sweat, like death. So the gentleman went on all alone, going farther and farther into the wild country, till at last he came to a dark place, where he heard shouting and singing and crying, like nothing he had ever heard before. It all sounded quite close to him, but he couldn't get in, and so he began to call, and while he was calling, something came behind him, and in a minute his mouth and arms and legs were all bound up, and he fell into a swoon. And when he came to himself, he was lying by the roadside, just where he had first lost his way, under a blasted oak with a black trunk, and his horse was tied beside him. So he rode on to the town and told the people there what had happened, and some of them were amazed; but others knew. So when once everybody had come, there was no door at all for anybody else to pass in by. And when they were all inside, round in a ring, touching each other, some one began to sing in the darkness, and some one else would make a noise like thunder with a thing they had on purpose, and on still nights people would hear the thundering noise far, far away beyond the wild land, and some of them, who thought they knew what it was, used to make a sign on their breasts when they[145] woke up in their beds at dead of night and heard that terrible deep noise, like thunder on the mountains. And the noise and the singing would go on and on for a long time, and the people who were in a ring swayed a little to and fro; and the song was in an old, old language that nobody knows now, and the tune was queer. Nurse said her great-grandmother had known some one who remembered a little of it, when she was quite a little girl, and nurse tried to sing some of it to me, and it was so strange a tune that I turned all cold and my flesh crept as if I had put my hand on something dead. Sometimes it was a man that sang and sometimes it was a woman, and sometimes the one who sang it did it so well that two or three of the people who were there fell to the ground shrieking and tearing with their hands. The singing went on, and the people in the ring kept swaying to and fro for a long time, and at last the moon would rise over a place they called the Tole Deol, and came up and showed them swinging and swaying from side to side, with the sweet thick smoke curling up from the burning coals, and floating in circles all around them. Then they had their supper. A boy and a girl brought it to them; the boy carried a great cup of wine, and the girl carried a cake of bread, and they passed the bread and the wine round and round, but they tasted quite different from common bread and common wine, and changed everybody that tasted them. Then they all rose up and danced, and secret things were brought out of some hiding place, and they played extraordinary games, and danced round and round and round in the moonlight, and sometimes people would suddenly disappear and never be heard[146] of afterwards, and nobody knew what had happened to them. And they drank more of that curious wine, and they made images and worshipped them, and nurse showed me how the images were made one day when we were out for a walk, and we passed by a place where there was a lot of wet clay. So nurse asked me if I would like to know what those things were like that they made on the hill, and I said yes. Then she asked me if I would promise never to tell a living soul a word about it, and if I did I was to be thrown into the black pit with the dead people, and I said I wouldn't tell anybody, and she said the same thing again and again, and I promised. So she took my wooden spade and dug a big lump of clay and put it in my tin bucket, and told me to say if any one met us that I was going to make pies when I went home. Then we went on a little way till we came to a little brake growing right down into the road, and nurse stopped, and looked up the road and down it, and then peeped through the hedge into the field on the other side, and then she said, 'Quick!' and we ran into the brake, and crept in and out among the bushes till we had gone a good way from the road. Then we sat down under a bush, and I wanted so much to know what nurse was going to make with the clay, but before she would begin she made me promise again not to say a word about it, and she went again and peeped through the bushes on every side, though the lane was so small and deep that hardly anybody ever went there. So we sat down, and nurse took the clay out of the bucket, and began to knead it with her hands, and do queer things with it, and turn it about. And she hid it under a big dock-leaf for a minute or two and then she brought it out again, and then she stood[147] up and sat down, and walked round the clay in a peculiar manner, and all the time she was softly singing a sort of rhyme, and her face got very red. Then she sat down again, and took the clay in her hands and began to shape it into a doll, but not like the dolls I have at home, and she made the queerest doll I had ever seen, all out of the wet clay, and hid it under a bush to get dry and hard, and all the time she was making it she was singing these rhymes to herself, and her face got redder and redder. So we left the doll there, hidden away in the bushes where nobody would ever find it. And a few days later we went the same walk, and when we came to that narrow, dark part of the lane where the brake runs down to the bank, nurse made me promise all over again, and she looked about, just as she had done before, and we crept into the bushes till we got to the green place where the little clay man was hidden. I remember it all so well, though I was only eight, and it is eight years ago now as I am writing it down, but the sky was a deep violet blue, and in the middle of the brake where we were sitting there was a great elder tree covered with blossoms, and on the other side there was a clump of meadowsweet, and when I think of that day the smell of the meadowsweet and elder blossom seems to fill the room, and if I shut my eyes I can see the glaring blue sky, with little clouds very white floating across it, and nurse who went away long ago sitting opposite me and looking like the beautiful white lady in the wood. So we sat down and nurse took out the clay doll from the secret place where she had hidden it, and she said we must 'pay our respects,' and she would show me what to do, and I must watch her all the time. So she did all sorts of[148] queer things with the little clay man, and I noticed she was all streaming with perspiration, though we had walked so slowly, and then she told me to 'pay my respects,' and I did everything she did because I liked her, and it was such an odd game. And she said that if one loved very much, the clay man was very good, if one did certain things with it, and if one hated very much, it was just as good, only one had to do different things, and we played with it a long time, and pretended all sorts of things. Nurse said her great-grandmother had told her all about these images, but what we did was no harm at all, only a game. But she told me a story about these images that frightened me very much, and that was what I remembered that night when I was lying awake in my room in the pale, empty darkness, thinking of what I had seen and the secret wood. Nurse said there was once a young lady of the high gentry, who lived in a great castle. And she was so beautiful that all the gentlemen wanted to marry her, because she was the loveliest lady that anybody had ever seen, and she was kind to everybody, and everybody thought she was very good. But though she was polite to all the gentlemen who wished to marry her, she put them off, and said she couldn't make up her mind, and she wasn't sure she wanted to marry anybody at all. And her father, who was a very great lord, was angry, though he was so fond of her, and he asked her why she wouldn't choose a bachelor out of all the handsome young men who came to the castle. But she only said she didn't love any of them very much, and she must wait, and if they pestered her, she said she would go and be a nun in a nunnery. So all the gentlemen said they[149] would go away and wait for a year and a day, and when a year and a day were gone, they would come back again and ask her to say which one she would marry. So the day was appointed and they all went away; and the lady had promised that in a year and a day it would be her wedding day with one of them. But the truth was, that she was the queen of the people who danced on the hill on summer nights, and on the proper nights she would lock the door of her room, and she and her maid would steal out of the castle by a secret passage that only they knew of, and go away up to the hill in the wild land. And she knew more of the secret things than any one else, and more than any one knew before or after, because she would not tell anybody the most secret secrets. She knew how to do all the awful things, how to destroy young men, and how to put a curse on people, and other things that I could not understand. And her real name was the Lady Avelin, but the dancing people called her Cassap, which meant somebody very wise, in the old language. And she was whiter than any of them and taller, and her eyes shone in the dark like burning rubies; and she could sing songs that none of the others could sing, and when she sang they all fell down on their faces and worshipped her. And she could do what they called shib-show, which was a very wonderful enchantment. She would tell the great lord, her father, that she wanted to go into the woods to gather flowers, so he let her go, and she and her maid went into the woods where nobody came, and the maid would keep watch. Then the lady would lie down under the trees and begin to sing a particular song, and she stretched out her arms, and from every[150] part of the wood great serpents would come, hissing and gliding in and out among the trees, and shooting out their forked tongues as they crawled up to the lady. And they all came to her, and twisted round her, round her body, and her arms, and her neck, till she was covered with writhing serpents, and there was only her head to be seen. And she whispered to them, and she sang to them, and they writhed round and round, faster and faster, till she told them to go. And they all went away directly, back to their holes, and on the lady's breast there would be a most curious, beautiful stone, shaped something like an egg, and coloured dark blue and yellow, and red, and green, marked like a serpent's scales. It was called a glame stone, and with it one could do all sorts of wonderful things, and nurse said her great-grandmother had seen a glame stone with her own eyes, and it was for all the world shiny and scaly like a snake. And the lady could do a lot of other things as well, but she was quite fixed that she would not be married. And there were a great many gentlemen who wanted to marry her, but there were five of them who were chief, and their names were Sir Simon, Sir John, Sir Oliver, Sir Richard, and Sir Rowland. All the others believed she spoke the truth, and that she would choose one of them to be her man when a year and a day was done; it was only Sir Simon, who was very crafty, who thought she was deceiving them all, and he vowed he would watch and try if he could find out anything. And though he was very wise he was very young, and he had a smooth, soft face like a girl's, and he pretended, as the rest did, that he would not come to the castle for a year and a day, and he said he was[151] going away beyond the sea to foreign parts. But he really only went a very little way, and came back dressed like a servant girl, and so he got a place in the castle to wash the dishes. And he waited and watched, and he listened and said nothing, and he hid in dark places, and woke up at night and looked out, and he heard things and he saw things that he thought were very strange. And he was so sly that he told the girl that waited on the lady that he was really a young man, and that he had dressed up as a girl because he loved her so very much and wanted to be in the same house with her, and the girl was so pleased that she told him many things, and he was more than ever certain that the Lady Avelin was deceiving him and the others. And he was so clever, and told the servant so many lies, that one night he managed to hide in the Lady Avelin's room behind the curtains. And he stayed quite still and never moved, and at last the lady came. And she bent down under the bed, and raised up a stone, and there was a hollow place underneath, and out of it she took a waxen image, just like the clay one that I and nurse had made in the brake. And all the time her eyes were burning like rubies. And she took the little wax doll up in her arms and held it to her breast, and she whispered and she murmured, and she took it up and she laid it down again, and she held it high, and she held it low, and she laid it down again. And she said, 'Happy is he that begat the bishop, that ordered the clerk, that married the man, that had the wife, that fashioned the hive, that harboured the bee, that gathered the wax that my own true love was made of.' And she brought out of an aumbry a great golden bowl, and she brought out of a[152] closet a great jar of wine, and she poured some of the wine into the bowl, and she laid her mannikin very gently in the wine, and washed it in the wine all over. Then she went to a cupboard and took a small round cake and laid it on the image's mouth, and then she bore it softly and covered it up. And Sir Simon, who was watching all the time, though he was terribly frightened, saw the lady bend down and stretch out her arms and whisper and sing, and then Sir Simon saw beside her a handsome young man, who kissed her on the lips. And they drank wine out of the golden bowl together, and they ate the cake together. But when the sun rose there was only the little wax doll, and the lady hid it again under the bed in the hollow place. So Sir Simon knew quite well what the lady was, and he waited and he watched, till the time she had said was nearly over, and in a week the year and a day would be done. And one night, when he was watching behind the curtains in her room, he saw her making more wax dolls. And she made five, and hid them away. And the next night she took one out, and held it up, and filled the golden bowl with water, and took the doll by the neck and held it under the water. Then she said—

Then the king's son collapsed on the ground in a fit. People rushed to get into the room, but they couldn’t, and they hacked at the door with hatchets, but the wood had turned as hard as iron. Eventually, everyone ran away, terrified by the screaming, laughing, shrieking, and crying that came from the room. But the next day, they entered and found nothing in the room except thick black smoke because the black man had come and taken her away. On the bed, there were two knots of faded grass, a red stone, some white stones, and some faded yellow flowers. I recalled this story from my nurse while standing at the bottom of the deep hollow; it felt so strange and lonely there, and I felt scared. I couldn’t see any stones or flowers, but I worried about taking them away without realizing it. I decided to perform a charm[137] that came to mind to keep the black man away. So I stood right in the middle of the hollow, made sure I had none of those things on me, walked around the area, touched my eyes, lips, and hair in a peculiar way, and whispered the strange words my nurse taught me to ward off bad things. Then I felt safe and climbed out of the hollow, continuing through all the mounds, hollows, and walls until I reached the highest point, where I could see that all the different shapes of the earth formed patterns, somewhat like the grey rocks, but with a different design. It was getting late, and the air was hazy, but from where I was standing, it looked like two large figures lying on the grass. I moved on and finally found a certain wood, which is too secret to be described, and nobody knows how to get there, which I discovered in a curious way after seeing a small animal run into the woods. I followed the animal through a very narrow, dark path, under thorns and bushes, and it was almost dark when I reached a sort of clearing in the middle. There, I saw the most amazing sight I have ever witnessed, but only for a minute, as I ran away immediately and crept out of the woods by the same path I had entered, running as fast as I could because I was afraid; what I had seen was so wondrous, strange, and beautiful. But I wanted to get home and think about it, unsure of what might happen if I lingered by the wood. I felt hot all over and trembling, my heart racing, and strange cries escaped me as[138] I ran from the woods. I was relieved when a big white moon rose over a round hill and lit my way, so I retraced my steps through the mounds and hollows, down the narrow valley, and through the thicket above the grey rocks, until I finally got home again. My father was busy in his study, and the servants hadn’t told anyone about my absence, though they were scared and debated what to do, so I told them I had lost my way, but I didn’t reveal the true nature of my journey. I went to bed and lay awake all night, thinking about what I had seen. When I came out of the narrow way, and it looked all shiny, though the air was dark, it felt certain to me, and all the way home, I was absolutely sure I had seen it. I wanted to be alone in my room, relishing it quietly to myself, shutting my eyes and pretending it was there, and doing all the things I would have done if I hadn’t been so scared. But when I closed my eyes, the vision wouldn’t come, and I began to reconsider my adventures, recalling how dark and strange it had felt at the end, and I feared it must all be a mistake because it seemed impossible that it could be real. It felt like one of my nurse’s stories, which I didn’t genuinely believe in, though I was frightened at the bottom of the hollow. The tales she told me when I was little resurfaced in my mind, and I began to wonder if what I thought I had seen was really there, or if any of her tales could have happened long ago. It felt so odd; I lay awake in my room at the back of the house, with the moon shining on the other side toward the river, so the bright light didn’t reach the[139] wall. The house was completely silent. I heard my father come upstairs, and just after the clock struck midnight, the house became still and empty, as if no one was alive in it. Even though it was all dark and blurry in my room, a pale, shimmering light seeped through the white blinds, and once I got up and looked out, I saw the massive black shadow of the house covering the garden, looking like a prison where men are hanged; and then beyond it was all white; and the wood glowed white with black gaps between the trees. It was calm and clear, and there were no clouds in the sky. I wanted to think about what I had seen, but I couldn't, and instead, I started reminiscing about all the stories my nurse had told me long ago that I thought I had forgotten, yet they flooded back and intertwined with the thickets, grey rocks, hollows, and the secret wood, until I barely knew what was new and what was old, or if it was all just a dream. Then I recalled that hot summer afternoon long ago when my nurse left me alone in the shade, and white figures emerged from the water and the woods, played, danced, and sang, and I began to imagine that my nurse had told me about something like it before I ever saw them; only I couldn’t quite remember exactly what she had said. Then I wondered if she had been the white lady I remembered—just as white and beautiful, with the same dark eyes and black hair; sometimes she smiled and looked like the lady had when she told me some stories, starting with ‘Once upon a time,’ or ‘In the time of the fairies.’ But I thought she couldn’t be the lady since she seemed to have taken a different path into the woods, and I didn’t believe the man who followed us could be anything else, or I couldn’t have witnessed that incredible secret in the secret wood. I thought of the moon: but it was later on, in the midst of the wild land, where the earth formed into the shapes of gigantic figures, with walls, mysterious hollows, and smooth round mounds, that I saw the great white moon rise over a round hill. I was lost in thought about all these things until I became scared, fearing something had happened to me, remembering my nurse's story about the poor girl who entered the hollow pit and was eventually taken away by the black man. I realized I had also gone into a hollow pit, and perhaps it was the same one, and I had done something awful. So I repeated the charm, touching my eyes, lips, and hair in a peculiar way, reciting the old words from the fairy language, just to ensure I hadn’t been carried away. I attempted once more to see the secret wood and sneak up the passage to see what I had witnessed there, but somehow it didn’t work, and I kept thinking about my nurse’s stories. One story I remembered was about a young man who went hunting once upon a time, spending the whole day searching with his hounds everywhere, crossing rivers, going into all the woods, and circling marshes, but he couldn’t find anything at all. They hunted all day until the sun began to set behind the mountain. The young man grew angry for finding nothing and decided to turn back when just as the sun touched the mountain, he spotted a beautiful white stag emerge from a thicket before him. And[141] he called out to his hounds, but they whined and refused to follow. He urged his horse, but it froze and stood still, so the young man jumped off the horse, left the hounds behind, and began to chase the white stag all on his own. Soon it became completely dark, and the sky was black without a single star, as the stag disappeared into the darkness. Although the man had brought his gun, he never shot at the stag because he wanted to catch it and was afraid he’d lose it in the night. But he never lost sight of it, even with the sky so black and the air so dark, and the stag kept moving forward until the young man was utterly lost. They traveled through vast woods filled with whispers, and a faint, dead light emanated from the decayed trunks on the ground, and just as the man thought he had lost the stag, he would catch a glimpse of it in front of him, all white and shining. He would dart after it, but the stag always outpaced him, so he couldn’t catch it. They passed through the vast woods, swam across rivers, waded through dark marshes where the ground bubbled, the air filled with will-o'-the-wisps, and the stag fled down rocky, narrow valleys, where the air smelled like a grave, and the man pursued it. They climbed over the great mountains, and the man heard the wind roaring down from the sky, as the stag continued ahead and the man followed. Eventually, the sun rose and the young man found himself in an unfamiliar land; it was a beautiful valley with a bright stream flowing through it and a large, round hill in the center. The stag moved down the valley towards[142] the hill, appearing to grow tired and slowing down. Although the man felt weary too, he began to run faster, certain he would finally catch the stag. But just as they reached the base of the hill and the man reached out to grab the stag, it vanished into the earth. The man started to cry; he felt so sorrowful for losing it after his long pursuit. But as he cried, he noticed a door in the hill right in front of him, so he stepped inside; it was pitch black, but he pressed on, hoping to find the white stag. Suddenly, it became light, and he saw the sky, the sun shining, birds singing in the trees, and a beautiful fountain. By the fountain sat a lovely lady, the queen of the fairies, who told the man she had transformed into a stag to bring him there because she loved him so much. Then she brought out a grand golden cup, adorned with jewels from her fairy palace, and offered him wine to drink. He drank, and the more he drank, the more he craved, as the wine was enchanted. Thus, he kissed the beautiful lady, and she became his wife. He spent that day and the next night in the hill where she dwelled, and when he awoke, he found himself on the ground near where he first spotted the stag, with his horse and hounds waiting for him. He looked up just as the sun sank behind the mountain. He returned home and lived for a long time, but he would never kiss any other lady since he had kissed the queen of the fairies, and he would never drink ordinary wine again because he had tasted enchanted wine. Sometimes my nurse shared tales she heard from her great-grandmother, who was very old and lived alone in a cottage on the mountain. Most of those tales revolved around a hill where people used to gather at night long ago to engage in all sorts of strange games and activities that my nurse spoke of, but I didn’t fully understand, and now, she said, everyone except her great-grandmother had forgotten about it, and no one knew where the hill was, not even her great-grandmother. But she recounted one very strange story about the hill that made me tremble when I recalled it. She said people always visited there in summer when it was quite hot, and they had to dance a lot. At first, it would be all dark, and trees made it even darker. People would arrive one by one from all directions by a secret path that no one else knew about, and two individuals would guard the gate. Each person, upon arrival, had to give a rather curious sign, which my nurse attempted to show me as clearly as she could, but she said she couldn’t demonstrate it accurately. All sorts of people would gather; there would be nobility and villagers, older individuals, and young boys and girls, including very small children who sat and watched. It would be all dark as they entered except for one corner where someone was burning something that smelled pleasant and sweet, celebrating, and in that corner, the glow of coals could be seen with the smoke rising red. Once everyone came in, the door vanished, preventing anyone else from entering, even if they knew there was something beyond. There was once a gentleman, a stranger who had ridden a long distance, who lost his way at night. His horse took him deep into the wild country, where everything was topsy-turvy: dreadful marshes and massive stones everywhere, with holes underfoot, and the trees resembled gallows, with giant black arms stretched out across the path. This strange gentleman was terrified, and his horse started trembling. Eventually, it stopped and refused to go any further. The gentleman dismounted and tried to lead the horse, but it wouldn’t move, soaked in sweat, as if it were dying. So, he proceeded alone, deeper into the wild country, until he finally arrived at a dark spot, where he heard shouts, songs, and cries unlike anything he had ever heard before. It all sounded quite near, yet he couldn’t enter, so he began calling out, and while he did, something crept up behind him, binding his mouth, arms, and legs, causing him to faint. When he regained consciousness, he found himself lying by the roadside, exactly where he first lost his way, under a blasted oak with a black trunk, and his horse tied beside him. He rode to the town and shared his experience with the locals; some were amazed, but others already knew about it. So when everyone had gathered, there was no door for anyone else to come in through. Once they were all inside, gathered in a ring, one person began to sing in the darkness while another created sounds like thunder with an object they had brought specifically for that purpose. On still nights, people would hear the booming noise far, far away beyond the wild land, and some who believed they knew what it was would make a sign on their chests when they woke up in their beds in the dead of night and heard that terrible deep sound, like thunder in the mountains. The noise and singing went on for a long time, and the people within the ring swayed back and forth; the song was in a language so old that no one knows it now, and the tune was strange. My nurse said her great-grandmother had known someone who remembered a bit of it when she was very young, and my nurse tried to sing some of it to me, and it was such an odd tune that it made me feel cold and gave me goosebumps, as if I had touched something dead. Sometimes it was a man singing, other times a woman, and occasionally the singer was so talented that two or three of the people present fell to the ground, shrieking and tearing at themselves. The singing continued, and the people in the ring swayed for a long time, until finally, the moon rose over a place they referred to as the Tole Deol, illuminating them swaying side to side, with sweet, thick smoke curling up from the burning coals, floating around them. Then they had their supper. A boy and a girl brought it to them; the boy carried a large cup of wine, and the girl carried a loaf of bread, sharing the bread and wine among everyone, which tasted quite different from ordinary bread and wine, transforming whoever had them. Afterward, they all stood up and danced, revealing secret things hidden away, engaging in extraordinary games and circling around in the moonlight. Occasionally, individuals would suddenly vanish and never be heard of again, and no one knew what had happened to them. They drank more of that peculiar wine, made images, and worshipped them. My nurse taught me how the images were created one day while we were on a walk and passed a spot where there was a lot of soft clay. She asked if I wanted to know what those creations were like that they made on the hill, to which I replied yes. Then she made me promise never to tell anyone anything about it, warning that if I did, I’d be thrown into the black pit with the dead. I, of course, promised not to tell anyone, and she repeated the same thing several times, reinforcing my promise. So she took my little wooden spade, dug up a sizable chunk of clay, placed it in my tin bucket, and told me that if anyone asked, I should say I was going home to make pies. We then proceeded a bit further until we reached a small thicket growing down into the road. My nurse paused, checked up and down the road, and then peeked through the hedge into the field on the other side, then said "Quick!" We darted into the thicket, weaving in and out among the bushes until we had moved a good distance from the road. There, we sat under a bush, and I was so eager to learn what my nurse intended to make with the clay, but before she would start, she made me promise once more not to reveal a word about it. She peeked through the bushes on every side, even though the lane was so narrow and deep that hardly anyone traveled there. We sat down, and my nurse took the clay from the bucket, began kneading it with her hands, shaping it in odd ways. She hid it under a large dock leaf for a minute or two before bringing it out again. Then she stood up, sat down, and walked around the clay in an unusual manner while softly singing a sort of rhyme, her face growing quite red. She then sat down again, took the clay into her hands, and started sculpting it into a doll, only this doll was unlike any I had ever seen before made from wet clay, which she hid under a bush to dry and harden. While she shaped it, she was singing those rhymes to herself, and her face became redder and redder. We left the doll there, concealed among the bushes where no one would ever discover it. A few days later, we went the same route, and when we reached that narrow, dark part of the lane where the thicket touches the bank, my nurse made me promise once more, looking just as she had before, and we slipped into the bushes until we arrived at the green spot where the little clay figure was hidden. I still remember it clearly, even though I was only eight, and now, eight years later, as I write this down, the sky was a deep, violet blue, and in the center of the thicket where we sat, there was a towering elder tree adorned with blossoms, while on the other side, there was a patch of meadowsweet. When I think back to that day, the smell of meadowsweet and elder blossom fills the room, and if I shut my eyes, I can visualize the glaring blue sky, with little fluffy white clouds drifting by, and my nurse, who left long ago, sitting across from me, looking just like the beautiful white lady in the wood. So we settled down, and my nurse pulled out the clay doll from the secret hiding place where she had kept it, stating we must "pay our respects," and she would show me what to do, instructing me to watch her closely. She performed various strange rituals with the little clay man, and I noticed she was sweating profusely, despite walking so slowly. Eventually, she told me to "pay my respects," and I mimicked everything she did because I liked her, and it was such an unusual game. She explained that if someone loved deeply, the clay man would be very effective if certain actions were performed, and if someone harbored hatred, it was equally potent, just requiring different actions. We played with it for a long time, pretending it was all sorts of things. My nurse said her great-grandmother had recounted everything about these figures, but what we were doing was harmless, merely a game. However, she told me a story about these figures that frightened me greatly and lingered in my mind that night while I lay awake in my room, enveloped in pale, empty darkness, thinking of what I had seen and the secret wood. My nurse said there was once a young lady of the high gentry who lived in a grand castle. She was so beautiful that every gentleman wanted to marry her, as she was the loveliest woman anyone had ever encountered, kind to everyone, and everyone believed her to be very good. However, even though she politely declined all the suitors wishing to marry her, saying she couldn’t decide and wasn’t sure she wanted to marry anyone at all, her father, a very powerful lord, was upset, despite being fond of her. He inquired why she wouldn’t pick a bachelor among the handsome young men frequenting the castle, but she merely stated that she didn’t love any of them and needed more time; if they persisted, she threatened she would enter a nunnery. All the gentlemen declared they would leave and wait a year and a day, promising to return to find out whom she would choose to marry. The day was appointed, and they departed; the lady had vowed that in a year and a day, she would wed one of them. Yet the truth was she was the queen of those who danced on the hill on summer nights, and on the appointed nights, she would lock her room's door, sneak out of the castle with her maid by a secret passage only they were aware of, and head up to the hill in the wild land. She possessed more secret knowledge than anyone else before or after her because she never revealed the most sacred secrets. She knew how to perform horrific acts, how to ruin young men, and how to place curses on people, among other things I couldn't grasp. Her real name was Lady Avelin, but the dancing people dubbed her Cassap, signifying someone very wise in the old language. She was whiter and taller than any of them, her eyes clearing in the dark like burning rubies, and her voice held songs none of the others could sing. When she sang, they all fell to their faces and worshiped her. She could perform what they called shib-show, an extraordinary enchantment. She would tell her father, the great lord, that she wanted to gather flowers in the woods, which he allowed, and she and her maid would venture into the woods where no one else arrived, with the maid keeping watch. Then the lady would recline under the trees and begin to sing a particular song, stretching out her arms. Great serpents would slither out from every part of the wood, gliding in and out among the trees while flicking their forked tongues as they crawled toward her. They would entwine around her body, arms, and neck until only her head was visible. She whispered to them, singing to them as they twisted and twirled about faster and faster until she commanded them to depart. They would instantly retreat back to their dens, leaving behind a curious, beautiful stone on the lady's chest, shaped somewhat like an egg, displaying colors of dark blue, yellow, red, and green, resembling serpent scales. This stone was known as a glame stone, and it allowed one to perform all sorts of extraordinary feats. My nurse claimed her great-grandmother had witnessed a glame stone with her own eyes, describing it as being shiny and scaly like a snake. The lady could accomplish numerous other feats as well, but she had firmly decided against marriage. Many gentlemen wished to marry her, but five stood out, named Sir Simon, Sir John, Sir Oliver, Sir Richard, and Sir Rowland. The others believed she spoke sincerely and would pick one of them when the year and day had passed; only Sir Simon, crafty and shrewd, suspected she was deceiving them all and vowed to keep watch, eager to uncover the truth. Although he was quite clever, he was young, bearing a smooth, soft face resembling a girl’s. He pretended, like the others, that he wouldn't return to the castle for a year and a day, claiming to journey beyond the sea to foreign lands. However, he only traveled a short distance before returning disguised as a servant girl, gaining a position in the castle to wash dishes. He kept a watchful eye, listened while saying nothing, concealed himself in shadowy corners, and woke at night to observe, witnessing many peculiar events. So sly was he that he informed the lady’s maid he was actually a young man and dressed up as a girl due to his deep love for her and his desire to be nearby. The maid was flattered and revealed plenty of secrets, convincing him further that Lady Avelin was deceiving everyone. Sir Simon was so crafty and spun so many tales that one night, he managed to hide in Lady Avelin’s chamber behind the curtains. He remained still, and eventually, the lady entered. She bent down and lifted a stone, revealing a hollow beneath, from which she extracted a waxen figure, identical to the clay one my nurse and I had crafted in the thicket. Her eyes glowed like rubies as she held the little wax doll tightly to her chest, whispering and murmuring to it, lifting it and placing it down repeatedly. She said, “Happy is he who begat the bishop, who ordered the clerk, who married the man, who held the wife, who shaped the hive, who housed the bee, who harvested the wax from which my own true love was made.” She then retrieved a golden bowl from a cupboard and a large jar of wine from another closet, poured some wine into the bowl, and gently immersed the little figure in the wine, bathing it thoroughly. Next, she found a small round cake and placed it on the doll’s mouth, followed by burying it gently and covering it up. Sir Simon, watching the entire scene, felt a terrible fright as he beheld the lady extend her arms, whispering and singing. To his amazement, he witnessed a handsome young man appear beside her, kissing her on the lips. They drank together from the golden bowl and shared the cake. But by sunrise, all that remained was the small wax doll, which the lady hid again beneath the bed in the hollow space. Sir Simon comprehended fully who the lady was, and he continued lurking, awaiting the conclusion of the time she had specified, with a week left until the year and day would pass. One night, while he was concealed behind her curtains, he observed her creating more wax dolls. She shaped five in total and hid them away. On the following night, she retrieved one, held it aloft, filled the golden bowl with water, and grasped the doll by its neck, plunging it under the water. Then she uttered—

Sir Dickon, Sir Dickon, your day has come to an end,
You will be drowned in the wan water.

And the next day news came to the castle that Sir Richard had been drowned at the ford. And at night she took another doll and tied a violet cord round its neck and hung it up on a nail. Then she said—

And the next day, news arrived at the castle that Sir Richard had drowned at the ford. That night, she took another doll, tied a violet cord around its neck, and hung it on a nail. Then she said—

Sir Rowland, your life has come to an end, I see you hanging high in a tree.

[153]And the next day news came to the castle that Sir Rowland had been hanged by robbers in the wood. And at night she took another doll, and drove her bodkin right into its heart. Then she said—

[153]And the next day, news reached the castle that Sir Rowland had been hanged by robbers in the woods. At night, she took another doll and stabbed it right in the heart with her bodkin. Then she said—

Sir Noll, Sir Noll, it's time to end your life, Your heart pierced by the knife.

And the next day news came to the castle that Sir Oliver had fought in a tavern, and a stranger had stabbed him to the heart. And at night she took another doll, and held it to a fire of charcoal till it was melted. Then she said—

And the next day, news arrived at the castle that Sir Oliver had gotten into a fight in a tavern, and a stranger had stabbed him in the heart. That night, she took another doll and held it to a charcoal fire until it melted. Then she said—

Sir John, come back and turn to clay,
In the fever's blaze, you wither away.

And the next day news came to the castle that Sir John had died in a burning fever. So then Sir Simon went out of the castle and mounted his horse and rode away to the bishop and told him everything. And the bishop sent his men, and they took the Lady Avelin, and everything she had done was found out. So on the day after the year and a day, when she was to have been married, they carried her through the town in her smock, and they tied her to a great stake in the market-place, and burned her alive before the bishop with her wax image hung round her neck. And people said the wax man screamed in the burning of the flames. And I thought of this story again and again as I was lying awake in my bed, and I seemed to see the Lady Avelin in the market-place, with the yellow flames eating up her beautiful white body. And I thought of it so much that I seemed to get into the story myself, and I fancied I was the lady, and that[154] they were coming to take me to be burnt with fire, with all the people in the town looking at me. And I wondered whether she cared, after all the strange things she had done, and whether it hurt very much to be burned at the stake. I tried again and again to forget nurse's stories, and to remember the secret I had seen that afternoon, and what was in the secret wood, but I could only see the dark and a glimmering in the dark, and then it went away, and I only saw myself running, and then a great moon came up white over a dark round hill. Then all the old stories came back again, and the queer rhymes that nurse used to sing to me; and there was one beginning 'Halsy cumsy Helen musty,' that she used to sing very softly when she wanted me to go to sleep. And I began to sing it to myself inside of my head, and I went to sleep.

And the next day, news reached the castle that Sir John had died from a terrible fever. So, Sir Simon left the castle, got on his horse, and rode to the bishop to tell him everything. The bishop sent his men, and they found Lady Avelin, uncovering everything she had done. So, on the day after a year and a day, when she was supposed to get married, they paraded her through the town in her nightgown and tied her to a large stake in the marketplace. They burned her alive in front of the bishop with a wax figure hanging around her neck. People said the wax figure screamed in the flames. I thought about this story over and over as I lay awake in bed, and I could almost see Lady Avelin in the marketplace, with the yellow flames consuming her beautiful white body. I obsessed over it so much that I felt like I was becoming part of the story, imagining I was the lady, and that they were coming to burn me with everyone in town watching. I wondered if she felt anything at all, given the strange things she had done, and whether it hurt a lot to be burned at the stake. I tried repeatedly to push away the nurse's stories and remember the secret I had seen that afternoon and what was in the secret wood, but all I could see was darkness and a flicker within it, then it disappeared, and I only saw myself running until a big white moon rose over a dark hill. Then all the old stories came back, along with the funny rhymes the nurse used to sing to me; one started 'Halsy cumsy Helen musty,' which she sang softly when she wanted me to fall asleep. I began to hum it to myself in my mind, and eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I was very tired and sleepy, and could hardly do my lessons, and I was very glad when they were over and I had had my dinner, as I wanted to go out and be alone. It was a warm day, and I went to a nice turfy hill by the river, and sat down on my mother's old shawl that I had brought with me on purpose. The sky was grey, like the day before, but there was a kind of white gleam behind it, and from where I was sitting I could look down on the town, and it was all still and quiet and white, like a picture. I remembered that it was on that hill that nurse taught me to play an old game called 'Troy Town,' in which one had to dance, and wind in and out on a pattern in the grass, and then when one had danced and turned long enough the other person asks you questions, and you can't help answering whether you want to or not, and whatever you are told to do you feel you have to[155] do it. Nurse said there used to be a lot of games like that that some people knew of, and there was one by which people could be turned into anything you liked, and an old man her great-grandmother had seen had known a girl who had been turned into a large snake. And there was another very ancient game of dancing and winding and turning, by which you could take a person out of himself and hide him away as long as you liked, and his body went walking about quite empty, without any sense in it. But I came to that hill because I wanted to think of what had happened the day before, and of the secret of the wood. From the place where I was sitting I could see beyond the town, into the opening I had found, where a little brook had led me into an unknown country. And I pretended I was following the brook over again, and I went all the way in my mind, and at last I found the wood, and crept into it under the bushes, and then in the dusk I saw something that made me feel as if I were filled with fire, as if I wanted to dance and sing and fly up into the air, because I was changed and wonderful. But what I saw was not changed at all, and had not grown old, and I wondered again and again how such things could happen, and whether nurse's stories were really true, because in the daytime in the open air everything seemed quite different from what it was at night, when I was frightened, and thought I was to be burned alive. I once told my father one of her little tales, which was about a ghost, and asked him if it was true, and he told me it was not true at all, and that only common, ignorant people believed in such rubbish. He was very angry with nurse for telling me the story, and[156] scolded her, and after that I promised her I would never whisper a word of what she told me, and if I did I should be bitten by the great black snake that lived in the pool in the wood. And all alone on the hill I wondered what was true. I had seen something very amazing and very lovely, and I knew a story, and if I had really seen it, and not made it up out of the dark, and the black bough, and the bright shining that was mounting up to the sky from over the great round hill, but had really seen it in truth, then there were all kinds of wonderful and lovely and terrible things to think of, so I longed and trembled, and I burned and got cold. And I looked down on the town, so quiet and still, like a little white picture, and I thought over and over if it could be true. I was a long time before I could make up my mind to anything; there was such a strange fluttering at my heart that seemed to whisper to me all the time that I had not made it up out of my head, and yet it seemed quite impossible, and I knew my father and everybody would say it was dreadful rubbish. I never dreamed of telling him or anybody else a word about it, because I knew it would be of no use, and I should only get laughed at or scolded, so for a long time I was very quiet, and went about thinking and wondering; and at night I used to dream of amazing things, and sometimes I woke up in the early morning and held out my arms with a cry. And I was frightened, too, because there were dangers, and some awful thing would happen to me, unless I took great care, if the story were true. These old tales were always in my head, night and morning, and I went over them and told them to myself over and over again, and went for walks in the places where nurse had told them[157] to me; and when I sat in the nursery by the fire in the evenings I used to fancy nurse was sitting in the other chair, and telling me some wonderful story in a low voice, for fear anybody should be listening. But she used to like best to tell me about things when we were right out in the country, far from the house, because she said she was telling me such secrets, and walls have ears. And if it was something more than ever secret, we had to hide in brakes or woods; and I used to think it was such fun creeping along a hedge, and going very softly, and then we would get behind the bushes or run into the wood all of a sudden, when we were sure that none was watching us; so we knew that we had our secrets quite all to ourselves, and nobody else at all knew anything about them. Now and then, when we had hidden ourselves as I have described, she used to show me all sorts of odd things. One day, I remember, we were in a hazel brake, overlooking the brook, and we were so snug and warm, as though it was April; the sun was quite hot, and the leaves were just coming out. Nurse said she would show me something funny that would make me laugh, and then she showed me, as she said, how one could turn a whole house upside down, without anybody being able to find out, and the pots and pans would jump about, and the china would be broken, and the chairs would tumble over of themselves. I tried it one day in the kitchen, and I found I could do it quite well, and a whole row of plates on the dresser fell off it, and cook's little work-table tilted up and turned right over 'before her eyes,' as she said, but she was so frightened and turned so white that I didn't do it again, as I liked her. And afterwards, in the hazel[158] copse, when she had shown me how to make things tumble about, she showed me how to make rapping noises, and I learnt how to do that, too. Then she taught me rhymes to say on certain occasions, and peculiar marks to make on other occasions, and other things that her great-grandmother had taught her when she was a little girl herself. And these were all the things I was thinking about in those days after the strange walk when I thought I had seen a great secret, and I wished nurse were there for me to ask her about it, but she had gone away more than two years before, and nobody seemed to know what had become of her, or where she had gone. But I shall always remember those days if I live to be quite old, because all the time I felt so strange, wondering and doubting, and feeling quite sure at one time, and making up my mind, and then I would feel quite sure that such things couldn't happen really, and it began all over again. But I took great care not to do certain things that might be very dangerous. So I waited and wondered for a long time, and though I was not sure at all, I never dared to try to find out. But one day I became sure that all that nurse said was quite true, and I was all alone when I found it out. I trembled all over with joy and terror, and as fast as I could I ran into one of the old brakes where we used to go—it was the one by the lane, where nurse made the little clay man—and I ran into it, and I crept into it; and when I came to the place where the elder was, I covered up my face with my hands and lay down flat on the grass, and I stayed there for two hours without moving, whispering to myself delicious, terrible things, and saying some words over and over again. It was all[159] true and wonderful and splendid, and when I remembered the story I knew and thought of what I had really seen, I got hot and I got cold, and the air seemed full of scent, and flowers, and singing. And first I wanted to make a little clay man, like the one nurse had made so long ago, and I had to invent plans and stratagems, and to look about, and to think of things beforehand, because nobody must dream of anything that I was doing or going to do, and I was too old to carry clay about in a tin bucket. At last I thought of a plan, and I brought the wet clay to the brake, and did everything that nurse had done, only I made a much finer image than the one she had made; and when it was finished I did everything that I could imagine and much more than she did, because it was the likeness of something far better. And a few days later, when I had done my lessons early, I went for the second time by the way of the little brook that had led me into a strange country. And I followed the brook, and went through the bushes, and beneath the low branches of trees, and up thorny thickets on the hill, and by dark woods full of creeping thorns, a long, long way. Then I crept through the dark tunnel where the brook had been and the ground was stony, till at last I came to the thicket that climbed up the hill, and though the leaves were coming out upon the trees, everything looked almost as black as it was on the first day that I went there. And the thicket was just the same, and I went up slowly till I came out on the big bare hill, and began to walk among the wonderful rocks. I saw the terrible voor again on everything, for though the sky was brighter, the ring of wild hills all around was still dark,[160] and the hanging woods looked dark and dreadful, and the strange rocks were as grey as ever; and when I looked down on them from the great mound, sitting on the stone, I saw all their amazing circles and rounds within rounds, and I had to sit quite still and watch them as they began to turn about me, and each stone danced in its place, and they seemed to go round and round in a great whirl, as if one were in the middle of all the stars and heard them rushing through the air. So I went down among the rocks to dance with them and to sing extraordinary songs; and I went down through the other thicket, and drank from the bright stream in the close and secret valley, putting my lips down to the bubbling water; and then I went on till I came to the deep, brimming well among the glittering moss, and I sat down. I looked before me into the secret darkness of the valley, and behind me was the great high wall of grass, and all around me there were the hanging woods that made the valley such a secret place. I knew there was nobody here at all besides myself, and that no one could see me. So I took off my boots and stockings, and let my feet down into the water, saying the words that I knew. And it was not cold at all, as I expected, but warm and very pleasant, and when my feet were in it I felt as if they were in silk, or as if the nymph were kissing them. So when I had done, I said the other words and made the signs, and then I dried my feet with a towel I had brought on purpose, and put on my stockings and boots. Then I climbed up the steep wall, and went into the place where there are the hollows, and the two beautiful mounds, and the round ridges of land, and all the strange shapes. I did not go down into the hollow[161] this time, but I turned at the end, and made out the figures quite plainly, as it was lighter, and I had remembered the story I had quite forgotten before, and in the story the two figures are called Adam and Eve, and only those who know the story understand what they mean. So I went on and on till I came to the secret wood which must not be described, and I crept into it by the way I had found. And when I had gone about halfway I stopped, and turned round, and got ready, and I bound the handkerchief tightly round my eyes, and made quite sure that I could not see at all, not a twig, nor the end of a leaf, nor the light of the sky, as it was an old red silk handkerchief with large yellow spots, that went round twice and covered my eyes, so that I could see nothing. Then I began to go on, step by step, very slowly. My heart beat faster and faster, and something rose in my throat that choked me and made me want to cry out, but I shut my lips, and went on. Boughs caught in my hair as I went, and great thorns tore me; but I went on to the end of the path. Then I stopped, and held out my arms and bowed, and I went round the first time, feeling with my hands, and there was nothing. I went round the second time, feeling with my hands, and there was nothing. Then I went round the third time, feeling with my hands, and the story was all true, and I wished that the years were gone by, and that I had not so long a time to wait before I was happy for ever and ever.

The next morning, I was really tired and sleepy. I struggled to get through my lessons and was relieved when they were finally over and I had eaten my dinner because I wanted to go out and be alone. It was a warm day, so I picked a nice grassy hill by the river and sat down on my mother’s old shawl, which I had brought with me on purpose. The sky was gray, just like the day before, but there was a white gleam behind it. From where I sat, I could look down on the town, which was still, quiet, and white, like a picture. I remembered that it was on that hill where the nurse taught me to play an old game called 'Troy Town,' where you had to dance and weave in and out of a pattern in the grass. After dancing for a while, the other person would ask you questions, and you couldn’t help but answer whether you wanted to or not, and no matter what you were told to do, you felt compelled to do it. The nurse said there used to be many games like that that some people knew about, and there was one where you could turn someone into anything you wanted. She shared a story of an old man her great-grandmother had known, who had seen a girl turned into a large snake. And there was another ancient game of dancing and weaving that could take someone out of themselves and hide them away for as long as you wanted, while their body wandered around aimlessly without any sense. But I came to that hill wanting to think about what had happened the day before and the secret of the woods. From where I was sitting, I could see beyond the town, to the opening I discovered, where a little brook had led me into an unknown land. I pretended I was following the brook again, imagining the journey, and finally reaching the woods. I crept in under the bushes, and in the twilight, I saw something that made me feel like I was filled with fire, as if I wanted to dance, sing, and fly into the air because I felt transformed and wonderful. But what I saw didn’t change at all and hadn’t aged, and I kept wondering how such things could happen, and whether the nurse’s stories were really true. Because in the daytime, in the open air, everything seemed completely different than it did at night, when I was scared and thought I might be burned alive. Once, I told my father one of her little tales about a ghost and asked him if it was true. He told me it wasn't true at all and that only common, ignorant people believed in such nonsense. He was very angry with the nurse for telling me, and he scolded her. After that, I promised her I wouldn’t whisper a word of what she told me, and if I did, I would be bitten by the great black snake that lived in the pool in the woods. Alone on the hill, I wondered what was true. I had seen something incredible and beautiful, and I wondered if I really saw it, or if I made it up from the dark, the black branches, and the bright light rising toward the sky from the big round hill. If it was real, then there were all kinds of amazing and lovely and terrifying things to think about, which made me long and tremble, burn and chill. I looked down at the town, so quiet and still, like a little white picture, and kept repeating in my mind if it could be true. It took me a long time to decide anything; there was such a strange fluttering in my heart, whispering that I hadn’t made it up, and yet it seemed impossible, and I knew my father and everyone else would say it was ridiculous. I never dreamed of telling him or anyone else about it, knowing it would be useless, and I’d just get laughed at or scolded. So for a long time, I stayed quiet, thinking and wondering; at night I dreamed of amazing things, sometimes waking up in the early morning, crying out with my arms outstretched. I was scared too, because there were dangers, and something terrible could happen to me if I didn’t take great care, if the story were true. Those old tales were always in my mind, day and night, and I recounted them to myself over and over again, taking walks in the places where the nurse had told them to me. In the evenings, when I sat in the nursery by the fire, I would imagine the nurse was sitting in the other chair, whispering some wonderful story so no one would overhear. But she liked telling me things best when we were out in the countryside, far from the house, saying she was sharing secrets, and that walls have ears. When it was something especially secret, we had to hide in thickets or woods; I thought it was such fun sneaking along a hedge, going quietly, and then suddenly getting behind the bushes or darting into the woods when we were sure no one was watching; that’s how we knew our secrets were just for us, and nobody else knew anything about them. Sometimes, when we had hidden ourselves as I described, she would show me all sorts of odd things. I remember one day, we were in a hazel thicket overlooking the brook, feeling so comfortable and warm as if it were April; the sun was quite hot, and the leaves were just starting to come out. The nurse said she would show me something funny that would make me laugh and then demonstrated how you could flip an entire house upside down without anyone being able to figure it out—the pots and pans would jump around, the china would break, and the chairs would topple over on their own. I tried it one day in the kitchen, and I found I could do it quite well; a whole row of plates on the dresser fell off, and the cook’s little worktable tilted and turned over right in front of her eyes, but she got so scared and turned so pale that I didn’t do it again because I liked her. Afterwards, in the hazel thicket, after she showed me how to make things tumble around, she taught me how to make rapping noises, and I learned to do that too. Then she shared rhymes to say for certain occasions, and strange signs to make at others, and other things her great-grandmother had taught her when she was a little girl. These were all the things I was thinking about in those days after the strange walk when I thought I had discovered a great secret. I wished the nurse were there for me to ask her about it, but she had left more than two years ago, and no one seemed to know what had happened to her or where she had gone. But I will always remember those days if I live to be very old, because all the time I felt so strange, wondering and doubting, feeling certain sometimes, making up my mind, and feeling utterly sure again that such things couldn’t really happen. But I took great care not to do things that might be very dangerous. So I waited and wondered for a long time, and even though I wasn’t sure at all, I never dared to try to find out. But one day, I became convinced that everything the nurse said was completely true, and I discovered it all alone. I trembled with joy and fear, and as fast as I could, I ran into one of the old thickets where we used to go—it was the one by the lane where the nurse made the little clay man—and I crept in. When I reached the place where the elder grew, I covered my face with my hands and lay flat on the grass, staying there for two hours without moving, whispering to myself delicious, terrible things, saying certain words over and over again. It was all true and wonderful and magnificent, and when I thought of the story I knew and what I had actually seen, I felt hot and cold, and the air seemed filled with fragrance, flowers, and singing. Initially, I wanted to make a little clay man like the one the nurse made so long ago, and I had to come up with plans and strategies, look around, and think ahead because no one must suspect what I was doing or planning to do, and I was too old to carry clay in a tin bucket. Finally, I devised a plan, brought the wet clay to the thicket, and did everything the nurse had done, but I created a much finer figure than the one she had made. When it was finished, I did a lot more than she did, because it was the likeness of something far superior. A few days later, after finishing my lessons early, I took the little brook’s path again that had led me into a strange land. I followed the brook, went through the bushes, under the low branches of trees, up thorny thickets on the hill, and around dark woods brimming with creeping thorns, for a long time. Then I crept through the dark tunnel where the brook had been, and the ground was stony, until I finally reached the thicket climbing the hill, and although the leaves were beginning to appear on the trees, everything looked almost as dark as it did the first time I went there. The thicket was just the same, and I slowly made my way up until I emerged onto the big bare hill, starting to walk among the amazing rocks. I saw the terrible view again everywhere; although the sky was brighter, the ring of wild hills surrounding me remained dark, and the hanging woods looked frightening, and the unusual rocks were as gray as ever. When I looked down at them from the great mound, sitting on the stone, I saw all their incredible circles and rounds within rounds. I had to sit still and watch them as they began to swirl around me; each stone danced in its place, appearing to twirl in a great whirl, as if I were in the midst of all the stars and could hear them rushing through the air. So I moved down among the rocks to dance with them and sing extraordinary songs, and I went through the other thicket, drinking from the bright stream in the close, secret valley, bending down to the bubbling water. Then, I continued until I found the deep, brimming well among the sparkling moss, and I sat down. I looked ahead into the secret darkness of the valley, and behind me was the great high wall of grass, with the hanging woods surrounding me, making the valley feel so secret. I knew there wasn’t anyone else here besides me, and that no one could see me. So I took off my boots and stockings, letting my feet dip into the water, reciting the words I knew. It wasn’t cold at all as I expected; it was warm and very pleasant, and when my feet were in, it felt like silk or like a nymph was kissing them. Afterward, when I finished, I said the other words and made the signs, dried my feet with a towel I had brought specifically, and put my stockings and boots back on. Then I climbed the steep wall and entered the area with the hollows, the two beautiful mounds, and the round ridges of land, all the strange shapes. I didn’t go down into the hollow this time; instead, I turned at the end and clearly made out the figures since it was lighter, remembering a story I had forgotten before, where the two figures are called Adam and Eve, and only those familiar with the story understand their meaning. I continued and continued until I reached the secret wood, which must remain undescribed, and I crept in through the path I had found. When I had gone about halfway, I stopped, turned around, got ready, bound a handkerchief tightly over my eyes, ensuring I couldn’t see at all—not a twig, not the tip of a leaf, nor the light of the sky—covering my eyes with an old red silk handkerchief with large yellow spots, wrapping it around twice. Then I began to move on, step by step, very slowly. My heart raced faster and faster, and something rose in my throat that choked me, making me want to cry out, but I shut my lips and kept going. Branches caught in my hair, and great thorns tore at me, but I pushed on until I reached the end of the path. Then I stopped, held out my arms, bowed and turned around for the first time, feeling my way with my hands—and there was nothing. I turned again for the second time, feeling, and again there was nothing. Then I turned for the third time, feeling with my hands, and the story was all true. I wished that the years would pass quicker, longing for the day I would finally be happy forever and ever.

Nurse must have been a prophet like those we read of in the Bible. Everything that she said began to come true, and since then other things that she told me of have happened. That was how I came to know that[162] her stories were true and that I had not made up the secret myself out of my own head. But there was another thing that happened that day. I went a second time to the secret place. It was at the deep brimming well, and when I was standing on the moss I bent over and looked in, and then I knew who the white lady was that I had seen come out of the water in the wood long ago when I was quite little. And I trembled all over, because that told me other things. Then I remembered how sometime after I had seen the white people in the wood, nurse asked me more about them, and I told her all over again, and she listened, and said nothing for a long, long time, and at last she said, 'You will see her again.' So I understood what had happened and what was to happen. And I understood about the nymphs; how I might meet them in all kinds of places, and they would always help me, and I must always look for them, and find them in all sorts of strange shapes and appearances. And without the nymphs I could never have found the secret, and without them none of the other things could happen. Nurse had told me all about them long ago, but she called them by another name, and I did not know what she meant, or what her tales of them were about, only that they were very queer. And there were two kinds, the bright and the dark, and both were very lovely and very wonderful, and some people saw only one kind, and some only the other, but some saw them both. But usually the dark appeared first, and the bright ones came afterwards, and there were extraordinary tales about them. It was a day or two after I had come home from the secret place that I first really knew the nymphs. Nurse had shown me how[163] to call them, and I had tried, but I did not know what she meant, and so I thought it was all nonsense. But I made up my mind I would try again, so I went to the wood where the pool was, where I saw the white people, and I tried again. The dark nymph, Alanna, came, and she turned the pool of water into a pool of fire....

Nurse must have been a prophet like the ones we read about in the Bible. Everything she said started to come true, and since then, other things she mentioned have happened too. That's how I realized that [162] her stories were true and that I hadn't just imagined the secret myself. But there was something else that happened that day. I went to the secret place a second time. It was by the deep, overflowing well, and as I stood on the moss, I bent over to look in, and that’s when I recognized who the white lady was that I had seen come out of the water in the woods a long time ago when I was little. I trembled all over because that revealed other things to me. Then I remembered that sometime after I saw the white figures in the woods, Nurse asked me more about them, and I told her everything again. She listened in silence for a long, long time, and finally said, "You will see her again." So I understood what had happened and what was going to happen. I also understood about the nymphs; how I might encounter them in all kinds of places, and they would always help me, and I had to look for them and recognize them in all sorts of strange forms and appearances. Without the nymphs, I never could have discovered the secret, and nothing else could happen without them. Nurse had told me all about them long ago, but she called them by a different name, and I didn’t understand what she meant or what her stories were really about, only that they were very strange. There were two kinds, the bright and the dark, both very beautiful and amazing. Some people saw only one kind, some only the other, but some could see both. Usually, the dark ones appeared first, and the bright ones came later, along with incredible tales about them. It was a day or two after I returned home from the secret place that I first truly recognized the nymphs. Nurse had shown me how to [163] call them, and I tried, but I didn’t understand what she meant, so I thought it was all nonsense. But I decided to give it another shot, so I went to the woods where the pool was, where I had seen the white figures, and I tried again. The dark nymph, Alanna, appeared, and she turned the pool of water into a pool of fire....

EPILOGUE

'That's a very queer story,' said Cotgrave, handing back the green book to the recluse, Ambrose. 'I see the drift of a good deal, but there are many things that I do not grasp at all. On the last page, for example, what does she mean by "nymphs"?'

'That's a really strange story,' said Cotgrave, giving the green book back to the recluse, Ambrose. 'I get the general idea of a lot of it, but there are many things I just don’t understand. On the last page, for instance, what does she mean by "nymphs"?'

'Well, I think there are references throughout the manuscript to certain "processes" which have been handed down by tradition from age to age. Some of these processes are just beginning to come within the purview of science, which has arrived at them—or rather at the steps which lead to them—by quite different paths. I have interpreted the reference to "nymphs" as a reference to one of these processes.'

'Well, I think there are mentions throughout the manuscript of certain "processes" that have been passed down by tradition over the years. Some of these processes are just starting to be understood by science, which has discovered them—or rather the steps that lead to them—through completely different methods. I’ve understood the mention of "nymphs" as referring to one of these processes.'

'And you believe that there are such things?'

'And you think that those things actually exist?'

'Oh, I think so. Yes, I believe I could give you convincing evidence on that point. I am afraid you have neglected the study of alchemy? It is a pity, for the symbolism, at all events, is very beautiful, and moreover if you were acquainted with certain books on the subject, I could recall to your mind phrases which might explain a good deal in the manuscript that you have been reading.'[164]

"Oh, I think so. Yes, I believe I could provide you with solid evidence on that point. I’m afraid you’ve overlooked the study of alchemy? It’s a pity, because the symbolism, at the very least, is really beautiful, and if you were familiar with certain books on the subject, I could remind you of phrases that might clarify a lot in the manuscript you’ve been reading." [164]

'Yes; but I want to know whether you seriously think that there is any foundation of fact beneath these fancies. Is it not all a department of poetry; a curious dream with which man has indulged himself?'

'Yes, but I want to know if you really think there’s any truth behind these ideas. Isn’t it all just a form of poetry; a strange fantasy that people have entertained?'

'I can only say that it is no doubt better for the great mass of people to dismiss it all as a dream. But if you ask my veritable belief—that goes quite the other way. No; I should not say belief, but rather knowledge. I may tell you that I have known cases in which men have stumbled quite by accident on certain of these "processes," and have been astonished by wholly unexpected results. In the cases I am thinking of there could have been no possibility of "suggestion" or sub-conscious action of any kind. One might as well suppose a schoolboy "suggesting" the existence of Æschylus to himself, while he plods mechanically through the declensions.

'I can only say that it’s definitely better for most people to just think of it as a dream. But if you ask me what I truly believe—that's quite the opposite. No; I wouldn’t call it belief, but more like knowledge. I can tell you that I’ve known instances where people stumbled upon some of these “processes” completely by accident and were amazed by totally unexpected results. In the situations I’m thinking of, there was no chance of “suggestion” or any kind of subconscious influence. It would be like assuming a schoolboy could “suggest” the existence of Æschylus to himself while he mindlessly goes through his grammar exercises.'

'But you have noticed the obscurity,' Ambrose went on, 'and in this particular case it must have been dictated by instinct, since the writer never thought that her manuscripts would fall into other hands. But the practice is universal, and for most excellent reasons. Powerful and sovereign medicines, which are, of necessity, virulent poisons also, are kept in a locked cabinet. The child may find the key by chance, and drink herself dead; but in most cases the search is educational, and the phials contain precious elixirs for him who has patiently fashioned the key for himself.'

'But you’ve noticed the confusion,' Ambrose continued, 'and in this case, it was probably instinctive since the writer never imagined her manuscripts would end up in someone else's hands. However, this practice is common and for very good reasons. Powerful and potent medicines, which are, by nature, also dangerous poisons, are stored in a locked cabinet. A child might accidentally find the key and end up hurting themselves; but in most cases, the search for the key is a learning experience, and the vials hold valuable elixirs for those who have thoughtfully crafted the key for themselves.'

'You do not care to go into details?'

'You don’t want to go into details?'

'No, frankly, I do not. No, you must remain unconvinced. But you saw how the manuscript illustrates the talk we had last week?'

'No, honestly, I don’t. No, you have to stay skeptical. But you saw how the manuscript shows what we discussed last week?'

'Is this girl still alive?'[165]

'Is this girl still alive?'

'No. I was one of those who found her. I knew the father well; he was a lawyer, and had always left her very much to herself. He thought of nothing but deeds and leases, and the news came to him as an awful surprise. She was missing one morning; I suppose it was about a year after she had written what you have read. The servants were called, and they told things, and put the only natural interpretation on them—a perfectly erroneous one.

'No. I was one of the people who found her. I knew her father well; he was a lawyer and he had always given her a lot of freedom. He only thought about contracts and leases, so the news hit him like a terrible shock. She was missing one morning; I think it was about a year after she wrote what you’ve read. The staff was called in, and they shared what they knew, but they came to a completely wrong conclusion about it.'

'They discovered that green book somewhere in her room, and I found her in the place that she described with so much dread, lying on the ground before the image.'

'They found that green book somewhere in her room, and I found her in the spot she described with so much fear, lying on the ground in front of the image.'

'It was an image?'

"Was it an image?"

'Yes, it was hidden by the thorns and the thick undergrowth that had surrounded it. It was a wild, lonely country; but you know what it was like by her description, though of course you will understand that the colours have been heightened. A child's imagination always makes the heights higher and the depths deeper than they really are; and she had, unfortunately for herself, something more than imagination. One might say, perhaps, that the picture in her mind which she succeeded in a measure in putting into words, was the scene as it would have appeared to an imaginative artist. But it is a strange, desolate land.'

'Yes, it was hidden by the thorns and the thick underbrush that surrounded it. It was a wild, lonely place; but you know what it was like from her description, though you’ll understand that the colors have been exaggerated. A child's imagination always portrays heights as higher and depths as deeper than they really are; and she had, unfortunately for herself, something more than just imagination. One could say, perhaps, that the image in her mind, which she managed to express to some extent, was the scene as it would have appeared to a creative artist. But it is a strange, desolate land.'

'And she was dead?'

'And she died?'

'Yes. She had poisoned herself—in time. No; there was not a word to be said against her in the ordinary sense. You may recollect a story I told you the other night about a lady who saw her child's fingers crushed by a window?'

'Yes. She had poisoned herself—in time. No; there was nothing to criticize her for in the usual way. You might remember a story I told you the other night about a woman who saw her child's fingers crushed by a window?'

'And what was this statue?'[166]

'And what was this statue?'

'Well, it was of Roman workmanship, of a stone that with the centuries had not blackened, but had become white and luminous. The thicket had grown up about it and concealed it, and in the Middle Ages the followers of a very old tradition had known how to use it for their own purposes. In fact it had been incorporated into the monstrous mythology of the Sabbath. You will have noted that those to whom a sight of that shining whiteness had been vouchsafed by chance, or rather, perhaps, by apparent chance, were required to blindfold themselves on their second approach. That is very significant.'

'Well, it was made by the Romans, out of a stone that over the centuries hadn’t blackened but had turned white and glowing. The thicket had grown around it and hidden it, and during the Middle Ages, followers of a very ancient tradition had learned to use it for their own ends. In fact, it had been integrated into the bizarre mythology of the Sabbath. You may have noticed that those who had the chance, or maybe it was more like a coincidence, to see that shining whiteness were required to blindfold themselves on their second visit. That’s very important.'

'And is it there still?'

'Is it still there?'

'I sent for tools, and we hammered it into dust and fragments.'

'I called for tools, and we smashed it into dust and pieces.'

'The persistence of tradition never surprises me,' Ambrose went on after a pause. 'I could name many an English parish where such traditions as that girl had listened to in her childhood are still existent in occult but unabated vigour. No, for me, it is the "story" not the "sequel," which is strange and awful, for I have always believed that wonder is of the soul.'

"The persistence of tradition never surprises me," Ambrose continued after a moment. "I could name plenty of English parishes where the kinds of traditions that girl heard in her childhood still thrive in hidden but strong ways. No, for me, it’s the 'story,' not the 'sequel,' that is strange and terrifying, because I've always believed that wonder comes from the soul."


The Great God Pan

I
THE EXPERIMENT

'I am glad you came, Clarke; very glad indeed. I was not sure you could spare the time.'

'I am really happy you made it, Clarke; seriously happy. I wasn’t sure you had the time to come.'

'I was able to make arrangements for a few days; things are not very lively just now. But have you no misgivings, Raymond? Is it absolutely safe?'

'I managed to set up a few things for the next few days; it's not very exciting at the moment. But don't you have any doubts, Raymond? Is it completely safe?'

The two men were slowly pacing the terrace in front of Dr. Raymond's house. The sun still hung above the western mountain-line, but it shone with a dull red glow that cast no shadows, and all the air was quiet; a sweet breath came from the great wood on the hillside above, and with it, at intervals, the soft murmuring call of the wild doves. Below, in the long lovely valley, the river wound in and out between the lonely hills, and, as the sun hovered and vanished into the west, a faint mist, pure white, began to rise from the banks. Dr. Raymond turned sharply to his friend.

The two men were slowly walking around the terrace in front of Dr. Raymond's house. The sun was still above the mountains in the west, but it radiated a dull red glow that didn’t cast any shadows, and everything was silent; a sweet breeze came from the big woods on the hillside above, occasionally accompanied by the soft cooing of the wild doves. Below, in the beautiful valley, the river twisted in and out between the solitary hills, and as the sun dipped below the horizon, a faint, pure white mist began to rise from the riverbanks. Dr. Raymond suddenly turned to his friend.

'Safe? Of course it is. In itself the operation is a perfectly simple one; any surgeon could do it.'

'Safe? Of course it is. The procedure itself is really straightforward; any surgeon could handle it.'

'And there is no danger at any other stage?'

'Is there no risk at any other point?'

'None; absolutely no physical danger whatever, I give you my word. You are always timid, Clarke, always; but you know my history. I have devoted myself to transcendental medicine for the last twenty[170] years. I have heard myself called quack and charlatan and impostor, but all the while I knew I was on the right path. Five years ago I reached the goal, and since then every day has been a preparation for what we shall do to-night.'

'None; absolutely no physical danger at all, I promise you. You’re always so timid, Clarke, always; but you know my background. I’ve committed myself to transcendental medicine for the last twenty[170] years. I’ve been called a quack, a charlatan, and an impostor, but all along I knew I was on the right track. Five years ago I achieved my goal, and since then, every day has been preparation for what we’re going to do tonight.'

'I should like to believe it is all true.' Clarke knit his brows, and looked doubtfully at Dr. Raymond. 'Are you perfectly sure, Raymond, that your theory is not a phantasmagoria—a splendid vision, certainly, but a mere vision after all?'

'I want to believe it’s all true.' Clarke furrowed his brows and looked skeptically at Dr. Raymond. 'Are you absolutely certain, Raymond, that your theory isn’t just an illusion—a fantastic idea, sure, but just an idea after all?'

Dr. Raymond stopped in his walk and turned sharply. He was a middle-aged man, gaunt and thin, of a pale yellow complexion, but as he answered Clarke and faced him, there was a flush on his cheek.

Dr. Raymond paused mid-stride and turned abruptly. He was a middle-aged man, lean and thin, with a pale yellow complexion, but as he responded to Clarke and faced him, there was a flush on his cheek.

'Look about you, Clarke. You see the mountain, and hill following after hill, as wave on wave, you see the woods and orchards, the fields of ripe corn, and the meadows reaching to the reed-beds by the river. You see me standing here beside you, and hear my voice; but I tell you that all these things—yes, from that star that has just shone out in the sky to the solid ground beneath our feet—I say that all these are but dreams and shadows: the shadows that hide the real world from our eyes. There is a real world, but it is beyond this glamour and this vision, beyond these "chases in Arras, dreams in a career," beyond them all as beyond a veil. I do not know whether any human being has ever lifted that veil; but I do know, Clarke, that you and I shall see it lifted this very night from before another's eyes. You may think all this strange nonsense; it may be strange, but it is true, and the ancients knew what lifting the veil means. They called it seeing the god Pan.'[171]

'Look around you, Clarke. You see the mountain, and hills stretching after hills like waves on the ocean. You see the woods and orchards, the fields of ripe corn, and the meadows leading to the reed beds by the river. You see me standing here next to you, and hear my voice; but I’m telling you that all these things—yes, from that star that just appeared in the sky to the solid ground beneath our feet—I say that all these are just dreams and shadows: the shadows that conceal the real world from our sight. There is a real world, but it’s beyond this glamour and these illusions, beyond those "tapestries in Arras, dreams in a pursuit," beyond all of that as if through a veil. I don’t know if any human has ever lifted that veil; but I do know, Clarke, that you and I are going to see it lifted tonight from before another’s eyes. You might think all this is strange nonsense; it may be unusual, but it’s true, and the ancients understood what lifting the veil meant. They called it seeing the god Pan.'[171]

Clarke shivered; the white mist gathering over the river was chilly.

Clarke shivered; the white mist gathering over the river felt cold.

'It is wonderful indeed,' he said. 'We are standing on the brink of a strange world, Raymond, if what you say is true. I suppose the knife is absolutely necessary?'

'It's truly amazing,' he said. 'We're on the edge of a strange world, Raymond, if what you're saying is accurate. I guess the knife is totally essential?'

'Yes; a slight lesion in the grey matter, that is all; a trifling rearrangement of certain cells, a microscopical alteration that would escape the attention of ninety-nine brain specialists out of a hundred. I don't want to bother you with "shop," Clarke; I might give you a mass of technical detail which would sound very imposing, and would leave you as enlightened as you are now. But I suppose you have read, casually, in out-of-the-way corners of your paper, that immense strides have been made recently in the physiology of the brain. I saw a paragraph the other day about Digby's theory, and Browne Faber's discoveries. Theories and discoveries! Where they are standing now, I stood fifteen years ago, and I need not tell you that I have not been standing still for the last fifteen years. It will be enough if I say that five years ago I made the discovery to which I alluded when I said that then I reached the goal. After years of labour, after years of toiling and groping in the dark, after days and nights of disappointment and sometimes of despair, in which I used now and then to tremble and grow cold with the thought that perhaps there were others seeking for what I sought, at last, after so long, a pang of sudden joy thrilled my soul, and I knew the long journey was at an end. By what seemed then and still seems a chance, the suggestion of a moment's[172] idle thought followed up upon familiar lines and paths that I had tracked a hundred times already, the great truth burst upon me, and I saw, mapped out in lines of light, a whole world, a sphere unknown; continents and islands, and great oceans in which no ship has sailed (to my belief) since a Man first lifted up his eyes and beheld the sun, and the stars of heaven, and the quiet earth beneath. You will think all this high-flown language, Clarke, but it is hard to be literal. And yet; I do not know whether what I am hinting at cannot be set forth in plain and homely terms. For instance, this world of ours is pretty well girded now with the telegraph wires and cables; thought, with something less than the speed of thought, flashes from sunrise to sunset, from north to south, across the floods and the desert places. Suppose that an electrician of to-day were suddenly to perceive that he and his friends have merely been playing with pebbles and mistaking them for the foundations of the world; suppose that such a man saw uttermost space lie open before the current, and words of men flash forth to the sun and beyond the sun into the systems beyond, and the voices of articulate-speaking men echo in the waste void that bounds our thought. As analogies go, that is a pretty good analogy of what I have done; you can understand now a little of what I felt as I stood here one evening; it was a summer evening, and the valley looked much as it does now; I stood here, and saw before me the unutterable, the unthinkable gulf that yawns profound between two worlds, the world of matter and the world of spirit; I saw the great empty deep stretch dim before me, and in that instant a bridge of light leapt from the earth to the[173] unknown shore, and the abyss was spanned. You may look in Browne Faber's book, if you like, and you will find that to the present day men of science are unable to account for the presence, or to specify the functions of a certain group of nerve-cells in the brain. That group is, as it were, land to let, a mere waste place for fanciful theories. I am not in the position of Browne Faber and the specialists, I am perfectly instructed as to the possible functions of those nerve-centers in the scheme of things. With a touch I can bring them into play, with a touch, I say, I can set free the current, with a touch I can complete the communication between this world of sense and——we shall be able to finish the sentence later on. Yes, the knife is necessary; but think what that knife will effect. It will level utterly the solid wall of sense, and probably, for the first time since man was made, a spirit will gaze on a spirit-world. Clarke, Mary will see the god Pan!'

'Yes, it’s just a small issue in the grey matter; just a minor reshuffling of some cells, a microscopic change that would probably go unnoticed by 99 out of 100 brain specialists. I don't want to overwhelm you with technical jargon, Clarke; I could throw at you a bunch of complex details that sound impressive but would leave you no wiser than you are now. But I guess you've read somewhere in your newspaper about the significant advancements made recently in brain physiology. I came across a note the other day about Digby's theory and Browne Faber's discoveries. Theories and discoveries! Where they are now, I was fifteen years ago, and I don't need to tell you that I haven't stayed idle during the past fifteen years. It’s enough to say that five years ago, I made the breakthrough I mentioned when I said I reached the goal. After years of hard work, after toiling in the dark, after nights and days filled with disappointment and sometimes despair, where I would sometimes feel a chill thinking there might be others chasing the same thing, finally, after all this time, a wave of joy surged through me, and I realized the long journey was over. It seemed like pure chance at that moment, just a flicker of a thought following familiar paths I had explored many times before, and suddenly, the great truth revealed itself to me, laid out in bright lines, showing an entire world, an unknown sphere; continents and islands, and vast oceans where no ship has sailed (to my knowledge) since man first looked up at the sun, the stars, and the quiet earth below. You might think I'm being overly dramatic, Clarke, but it’s hard to be straightforward. Still, I wonder if what I'm hinting at can be expressed in simpler terms. For example, our world is now pretty much wrapped in telegraph wires and cables; thoughts, moving at something less than the speed of thought, travel from sunrise to sunset, from north to south, across oceans and deserts. Imagine if an electrician today suddenly realized that he and his colleagues have merely been toying with small stones, mistaking them for the foundation of everything; suppose he sees the vastness of space opening up before the current, and human words shooting off towards the sun and beyond into distant systems, with voices echoing in the empty void that stretches beyond our imagination. That's a solid analogy for what I've achieved; you can sense a bit of what I felt when I stood here one evening; it was a summer evening, and the valley looked much like it does now; I stood here, seeing the unfathomable, the unimaginable gulf that separates two worlds, the world of matter and the world of spirit; I witnessed the deep emptiness stretching before me, and in that moment, a bridge of light sprang from earth to the unknown shore, and the abyss was crossed. You can check Browne Faber's book if you want, and you'll find that even today, scientists can't explain the presence or functions of a particular group of nerve cells in the brain. That group is like land for rent, just an empty space filled with whimsical theories. Unlike Browne Faber and the specialists, I'm well aware of the possible functions of those nerve centers in the grand scheme. With just a touch, I can activate them; with a touch, I can unleash the current; with a touch, I can connect this sensory world with——we can finish that thought later. Yes, the knife is essential; but think about what that knife will accomplish. It will completely break down the solid barrier of sense, and probably for the first time since the dawn of humanity, a spirit will witness a spirit world. Clarke, Mary will see the god Pan!'

'But you remember what you wrote to me? I thought it would be requisite that she——'

'But do you remember what you wrote to me? I thought it would be necessary for her——'

He whispered the rest into the doctor's ear.

He whispered the rest into the doctor's ear.

'Not at all, not at all. That is nonsense, I assure you. Indeed, it is better as it is; I am quite certain of that.'

'Not at all, not at all. That’s nonsense, I assure you. In fact, it’s better this way; I’m completely sure of that.'

'Consider the matter well, Raymond. It's a great responsibility. Something might go wrong; you would be a miserable man for the rest of your days.'

'Think about it carefully, Raymond. It's a big responsibility. Things could go wrong; you would be unhappy for the rest of your life.'

'No, I think not, even if the worst happened. As you know, I rescued Mary from the gutter, and from almost certain starvation, when she was a child; I think her life is mine, to use as I see fit. Come, it is getting late; we had better go in.'[174]

'No, I don’t think so, even if the worst happens. As you know, I saved Mary from the streets and from almost certain starvation when she was a child; I believe her life is mine to use as I choose. Come on, it’s getting late; we should head inside.'[174]

Dr. Raymond led the way into the house, through the hall, and down a long dark passage. He took a key from his pocket and opened a heavy door, and motioned Clarke into his laboratory. It had once been a billiard-room, and was lighted by a glass dome in the centre of the ceiling, whence there still shone a sad grey light on the figure of the doctor as he lit a lamp with a heavy shade and placed it on a table in the middle of the room.

Dr. Raymond guided the way into the house, through the hall, and down a long dark hallway. He took a key from his pocket, unlocked a heavy door, and signaled for Clarke to enter his laboratory. It had once been a billiard room and was illuminated by a glass dome in the center of the ceiling, where a dim gray light still cast down on the doctor's figure as he lit a lamp with a heavy shade and set it on a table in the middle of the room.

Clarke looked about him. Scarcely a foot of wall remained bare; there were shelves all around laden with bottles and phials of all shapes and colours, and at one end stood a little Chippendale bookcase. Raymond pointed to this.

Clarke looked around. Hardly any wall space was left uncovered; shelves lined with bottles and vials of various shapes and colors filled the area, and at one end stood a small Chippendale bookcase. Raymond gestured towards it.

'You see that parchment Oswald Crollius? He was one of the first to show me the way, though I don't think he ever found it himself. That is a strange saying of his: "In every grain of wheat there lies hidden the soul of a star."'

'You see that parchment from Oswald Crollius? He was one of the first to guide me, even though I don’t think he ever discovered it himself. That’s a peculiar saying of his: "In every grain of wheat, the soul of a star is hidden."'

There was not much of furniture in the laboratory. The table in the centre, a stone slab with a drain in one corner, the two armchairs on which Raymond and Clarke were sitting; that was all, except an odd-looking chair at the furthest end of the room. Clarke looked at it, and raised his eyebrows.

There wasn't much furniture in the lab. The table in the center was a stone slab with a drain in one corner, and there were two armchairs where Raymond and Clarke were sitting; that was it, except for a strange-looking chair at the far end of the room. Clarke looked at it and raised his eyebrows.

'Yes, that is the chair,' said Raymond. 'We may as well place it in position,' He got up and wheeled the chair to the light, and began raising and lowering it, letting down the seat, setting the back at various angles, and adjusting the foot-rest. It looked comfortable enough, and Clarke passed his hand over the soft green velvet, as the doctor manipulated the levers.

'Yeah, that’s the chair,’ said Raymond. ‘We might as well set it up.’ He stood up and rolled the chair into the light, then started raising and lowering it, lowering the seat, positioning the back at different angles, and adjusting the footrest. It seemed comfortable enough, and Clarke ran his hand over the soft green velvet while the doctor adjusted the levers.

'Now, Clarke, make yourself quite comfortable. I[175] have a couple of hours' work before me; I was obliged to leave certain matters to the last.'

'Now, Clarke, get yourself comfortable. I[175] have a few hours of work ahead of me; I had to put some things off until the last minute.'

Raymond went to the stone slab, and Clarke watched him drearily as he bent over a row of phials and lit the flame under the crucible. The doctor had a small hand-lamp, shaded as the larger one, on a ledge above his apparatus, and Clarke, who sat in the shadows, looked down the great dreary room, wondering at the bizarre effects of brilliant light and undefined darkness contrasting with one another. Soon he became conscious of an odd odour, at first the merest suggestion of odour, in the room; and as it grew more decided he felt surprised that he was not reminded of the chemist's shop or the surgery. Clarke found himself idly endeavouring to analyse the sensation, and, half conscious, he began to think of a day, fifteen years ago, that he had spent in roaming through the woods and meadows near his old home. It was a burning day at the beginning of August, the heat had dimmed the outlines of all things and all distances with a faint mist, and people who observed the thermometer spoke of an abnormal register, of a temperature that was almost tropical. Strangely that wonderful hot day of the 'fifties rose up in Clarke's imagination; the sense of dazzling all-pervading sunlight seemed to blot out the shadows and the lights of the laboratory, and he felt again the heated air beating in gusts about his face, saw the shimmer rising from the turf, and heard the myriad murmur of the summer.

Raymond approached the stone slab, and Clarke watched him gloomily as he bent over a line of vials and lit the flame under the crucible. The doctor had a small hand lamp, similar to the larger one, placed on a shelf above his equipment, and Clarke, sitting in the shadows, gazed down the large, drab room, intrigued by the strange effects of bright light and vague darkness contrasting sharply with each other. Soon, he noticed an odd smell, initially just a hint in the air, but as it became stronger, he was surprised it didn't remind him of the chemist's shop or the clinic. Clarke found himself mindlessly trying to figure out the sensation, and, half-aware, he began to think back to a day, fifteen years earlier, when he had wandered through the woods and fields near his childhood home. It was a scorching day at the beginning of August; the heat had blurred the outlines of everything and all distances with a faint haze, and those who checked the thermometer mentioned an unusually high reading, with temperatures that felt almost tropical. Oddly, that incredible hot day from the '50s came to Clarke's mind; the feeling of bright, all-encompassing sunlight seemed to erase the shadows and lights of the laboratory, and he again felt the warm air swirling around his face, saw the heat shimmering off the ground, and heard the countless sounds of summer.

'I hope the smell doesn't annoy you, Clarke; there's nothing unwholesome about it. It may make you a bit sleepy, that's all.'[176]

'I hope the smell doesn’t bother you, Clarke; there’s nothing unhealthy about it. It might just make you a little sleepy, that’s all.'[176]

Clarke heard the words quite distinctly, and knew that Raymond was speaking to him, but for the life of him he could not rouse himself from his lethargy. He could only think of the lonely walk he had taken fifteen years ago; it was his last look at the fields and woods he had known since he was a child, and now it all stood out in brilliant light, as a picture, before him. Above all there came to his nostrils the scent of summer, the smell of flowers mingled, and the odour of the woods, of cool shaded places, deep in the green depths, drawn forth by the sun's heat; and the scent of the good earth, lying as it were with arms stretched forth, and smiling lips, overpowered all. His fancies made him wander, as he had wandered long ago, from the fields into the wood, tracking a little path between the shining undergrowth of beech-trees; and the trickle of water dropping from the limestone rock sounded as a clear melody in the dream. Thoughts began to go astray and to mingle with other recollections; the beech alley was transformed to a path beneath ilex-trees, and here and there a vine climbed from bough to bough, and sent up waving tendrils and drooped with purple grapes, and the sparse grey-green leaves of a wild olive-tree stood out against the dark shadows of the ilex. Clarke, in the deep folds of dream, was conscious that the path from his father's house had led him into an undiscovered country, and he was wondering at the strangeness of it all, when suddenly, in place of the hum and murmur of the summer, an infinite silence seemed to fall on all things, and the wood was hushed, and for a moment of time he stood face to face there with a presence, that was neither man nor beast, neither the living nor the dead, but[177] all things mingled, the form of all things but devoid of all form. And in that moment, the sacrament of body and soul was dissolved, and a voice seemed to cry 'Let us go hence,' and then the darkness of darkness beyond the stars, the darkness of everlasting.

Clarke heard the words clearly and realized Raymond was speaking to him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake off his drowsiness. All he could think about was the lonely walk he took fifteen years ago; it was his last glimpse of the fields and woods he had known since childhood, and now it vividly appeared before him like a picture. Above all, he was reminded of the scent of summer, the mingling smells of flowers and the woods, cool shaded spots deep in the greenery, brought out by the sun’s warmth; and the aroma of the good earth, as if it were lying back with open arms and smiling lips, overwhelmed him. His thoughts wandered, just like they did long ago, from the fields into the woods, following a small path through the bright undergrowth of beech trees; the sound of water dripping from the limestone rock was a clear melody in his dream. His thoughts started to drift and mix with other memories; the beech alley changed into a path beneath holm oaks, where vines climbed from branch to branch, waving tendrils and drooping with purple grapes, and the sparse grey-green leaves of a wild olive tree contrasted against the dark shadows of the holm oaks. In the deep folds of his dream, Clarke realized that the path from his father's house had led him into an unknown land, and he was pondering its strangeness when suddenly, instead of the buzz of summer, an overwhelming silence seemed to envelop everything. The woods fell silent, and for a moment, he stood face to face with a presence that was neither man nor beast, neither living nor dead, but[177] all things combined, the essence of all things yet lacking any form. In that moment, the connection of body and soul was shattered, and a voice seemed to call, "Let us go from here," followed by the darkness beyond the stars, the darkness of eternity.

When Clarke woke up with a start he saw Raymond pouring a few drops of some oily fluid into a green phial, which he stoppered tightly.

When Clarke jolted awake, he saw Raymond pouring a few drops of some oily liquid into a green vial, which he sealed tightly.

'You have been dozing,' he said; 'the journey must have tired you out. It is done now. I am going to fetch Mary; I shall be back in ten minutes.'

'You’ve been napping,' he said; 'the trip must have worn you out. It’s over now. I’m going to get Mary; I’ll be back in ten minutes.'

Clarke lay back in his chair and wondered. It seemed as if he had but passed from one dream into another. He half expected to see the walls of the laboratory melt and disappear, and to awake in London, shuddering at his own sleeping fancies. But at last the door opened, and the doctor returned, and behind him came a girl of about seventeen, dressed all in white. She was so beautiful that Clarke did not wonder at what the doctor had written to him. She was blushing now over face and neck and arms, but Raymond seemed unmoved.

Clarke leaned back in his chair and thought. It felt like he had just gone from one dream to another. He half expected the laboratory walls to dissolve and for him to wake up in London, feeling uneasy about his own dreams. But finally, the door opened, and the doctor came in, followed by a girl about seventeen, dressed all in white. She was so beautiful that Clarke understood why the doctor had written to him. She was blushing all over her face, neck, and arms, but Raymond seemed unfazed.

'Mary,' he said, 'the time has come. You are quite free. Are you willing to trust yourself to me entirely?'

'Mary,' he said, 'it's time. You are completely free. Are you willing to trust me completely?'

'Yes, dear.'

'Of course, dear.'

'You hear that, Clarke? You are my witness. Here is the chair, Mary. It is quite easy. Just sit in it and lean back. Are you ready?'

'You hear that, Clarke? You're my witness. Here’s the chair, Mary. It’s really easy. Just sit in it and lean back. Are you ready?'

'Yes, dear, quite ready. Give me a kiss before you begin.'

'Yes, sweetheart, I'm all set. Give me a kiss before you start.'

The doctor stooped and kissed her mouth, kindly enough. 'Now shut your eyes,' he said. The girl[178] closed her eyelids, as if she were tired, and longed for sleep, and Raymond held the green phial to her nostrils. Her face grew white, whiter than her dress; she struggled faintly, and then with the feeling of submission strong within her, crossed her arms upon her breast as a little child about to say her prayers. The bright light of the lamp beat full upon her, and Clarke watched changes fleeting over that face as the changes of the hills when the summer clouds float across the sun. And then she lay all white and still, and the doctor turned up one of her eyelids. She was quite unconscious. Raymond pressed hard on one of the levers and the chair instantly sank back. Clarke saw him cutting away a circle, like a tonsure, from her hair, and the lamp was moved nearer. Raymond took a small glittering instrument from a little case, and Clarke turned away shuddering. When he looked again the doctor was binding up the wound he had made.

The doctor leaned down and gently kissed her lips. "Now, close your eyes," he said. The girl[178] shut her eyes, as if she was tired and wanted to sleep, while Raymond held the green vial to her nose. Her face turned pale, even paler than her dress; she faintly struggled, but then, feeling a strong sense of resignation, crossed her arms over her chest like a small child getting ready to pray. The bright lamp light shone directly on her, and Clarke observed the fleeting changes in her face, like the changing scenery of hills when summer clouds pass over the sun. Then she lay completely white and still, and the doctor lifted one of her eyelids. She was totally unconscious. Raymond pressed down hard on a lever, and the chair immediately reclined. Clarke watched as he cut a circle out of her hair, as if making a tonsure, and moved the lamp closer. Raymond took a small shining instrument from a case, and Clarke turned away in horror. When he looked again, the doctor was wrapping up the wound he had created.

'She will awake in five minutes.' Raymond was still perfectly cool. 'There is nothing more to be done; we can only wait.'

'She will wake up in five minutes.' Raymond was still completely calm. 'There’s nothing more to be done; we can only wait.'

The minutes passed slowly; they could hear a slow, heavy ticking. There was an old clock in the passage. Clarke felt sick and faint; his knees shook beneath him, he could hardly stand.

The minutes dragged on; they could hear a slow, heavy ticking. There was an old clock in the hallway. Clarke felt nauseous and lightheaded; his knees wobbled beneath him, making it hard for him to stand.

Suddenly, as they watched, they heard a long-drawn sigh, and suddenly did the colour that had vanished return to the girl's cheeks, and suddenly her eyes opened. Clarke quailed before them. They shone with an awful light, looking far away, and a great wonder fell upon her face, and her hands stretched out as if to touch what was invisible; but in an instant[179] the wonder faded, and gave place to the most awful terror. The muscles of her face were hideously convulsed, she shook from head to foot; the soul seemed struggling and shuddering within the house of flesh. It was a horrible sight, and Clarke rushed forward, as she fell shrieking to the floor.

Suddenly, as they were watching, they heard a long sigh, and the color that had disappeared returned to the girl’s cheeks, and her eyes opened. Clarke froze in fear. Her eyes shone with an eerie light, looking distant, and a great wonder appeared on her face, with her hands reaching out as if to touch something invisible; but in an instant[179] the wonder vanished, replaced by sheer terror. Her facial muscles twisted grotesquely, and she trembled all over; it was as if her soul was fighting and shuddering within her body. It was a terrifying sight, and Clarke rushed forward as she collapsed, screaming, to the floor.

Three days later Raymond took Clarke to Mary's bedside. She was lying wide-awake, rolling her head from side to side, and grinning vacantly.

Three days later, Raymond took Clarke to Mary's bedside. She was lying wide awake, turning her head from side to side and grinning blankly.

'Yes,' said the doctor, still quite cool, 'it is a great pity; she is a hopeless idiot. However, it could not be helped; and, after all, she has seen the Great God Pan.'

'Yeah,' said the doctor, still pretty calm, 'it's a real shame; she's a complete idiot. But it couldn't be avoided; and, after all, she has seen the Great God Pan.'

II
MR. CLARKE'S MEMOIRS

Mr. Clarke, the gentleman chosen by Dr. Raymond to witness the strange experiment of the god Pan, was a person in whose character caution and curiosity were oddly mingled; in his sober moments he thought of the unusual and the eccentric with undisguised aversion, and yet, deep in his heart, there was a wide-eyed inquisitiveness with respect to all the more recondite and esoteric elements in the nature of men. The latter tendency had prevailed when he accepted Raymond's invitation, for though his considered judgment had always repudiated the doctor's theories as the wildest nonsense, yet he secretly hugged a belief in fantasy, and would have rejoiced to see that belief confirmed. The horrors that he witnessed in the dreary laboratory were to a certain extent salutary; he was conscious of being involved in an affair[180] not altogether reputable, and for many years afterwards he clung bravely to the commonplace, and rejected all occasions of occult investigation. Indeed, on some homœopathic principle, he for some time attended the seances of distinguished mediums, hoping that the clumsy tricks of these gentlemen would make him altogether disgusted with mysticism of every kind, but the remedy, though caustic, was not efficacious. Clarke knew that he still pined for the unseen, and little by little, the old passion began to reassert itself, as the face of Mary, shuddering and convulsed with an unknowable terror, faded slowly from his memory. Occupied all day in pursuits both serious and lucrative, the temptation to relax in the evening was too great, especially in the winter months, when the fire cast a warm glow over his snug bachelor apartment, and a bottle of some choice claret stood ready by his elbow. His dinner digested, he would make a brief pretence of reading the evening paper, but the mere catalogue of news soon palled upon him, and Clarke would find himself casting glances of warm desire in the direction of an old Japanese bureau, which stood at a pleasant distance from the hearth. Like a boy before a jam-closet, for a few minutes he would hover indecisive, but lust always prevailed, and Clarke ended by drawing up his chair, lighting a candle, and sitting down before the bureau. Its pigeonholes and drawers teemed with documents on the most morbid subjects, and in the well reposed a large manuscript volume, in which he had painfully entered the gems of his collection. Clarke had a fine contempt for published literature; the most ghostly story ceased to interest him if it happened to be printed; his sole[181] pleasure was in the reading, compiling, and rearranging what he called his 'Memoirs to prove the Existence of the Devil,' and engaged in this pursuit the evening seemed to fly and the night appeared too short.

Mr. Clarke, the man chosen by Dr. Raymond to observe the bizarre experiment involving the god Pan, was someone whose personality combined caution and curiosity in a strange way. When he was sober, he regarded the unusual and eccentric with clear distaste, yet deep down, he had a wide-eyed curiosity about all the hidden and mysterious aspects of human nature. This latter inclination took over when he accepted Raymond's invitation, because even though he had always dismissed the doctor's theories as the wildest nonsense, he secretly held onto a belief in fantasy and would have been thrilled to see that belief validated. The horrors he witnessed in the gloomy laboratory were somewhat beneficial; he was aware he was part of something not entirely respectable, and for many years afterward, he clung resolutely to the ordinary and turned down any opportunities for occult exploration. In fact, following some odd principle, he attended the sessions of famous mediums for a while, hoping that the clumsy tricks of these individuals would completely disillusion him regarding mysticism, but the remedy, though harsh, didn’t work. Clarke knew he still longed for the unseen, and gradually, the old passion started to come back as the image of Mary, shuddering and convulsing with an indescribable fear, slowly faded from his memory. Busy all day with serious and profitable pursuits, the temptation to unwind in the evening was just too strong, especially in the winter months when the fire filled his cozy bachelor apartment with a warm light, and a bottle of fine claret was at his side. After dinner, he would briefly pretend to read the evening paper, but the mere list of news soon bored him, and Clarke would find himself casting longing looks at an old Japanese bureau, which stood at a pleasant distance from the fireplace. Like a kid in front of a candy jar, he would hesitate for a few moments, but desire always won out, and Clarke would eventually pull up his chair, light a candle, and sit down in front of the bureau. Its pigeonholes and drawers were packed with documents on the most morbid topics, and in the center lay a large manuscript volume where he had painstakingly written down the highlights of his collection. Clarke had a deep disdain for published literature; the most ghostly tale failed to engage him if it was printed; his only pleasure came from reading, compiling, and rearranging what he called his 'Memoirs to prove the Existence of the Devil,' and in pursuing this activity, the evening seemed to fly by and the night felt too short.

On one particular evening, an ugly December night, black with fog, and raw with frost, Clarke hurried over his dinner, and scarcely deigned to observe his customary ritual of taking up the paper and laying it down again. He paced two or three times up and down the room, and opened the bureau, stood still a moment, and sat down. He leant back, absorbed in one of those dreams to which he was subject, and at length drew out his book, and opened it at the last entry. There were three or four pages densely covered with Clarke's round, set penmanship, and at the beginning he had written in a somewhat larger hand:

On a particularly grim December night, thick with fog and biting with frost, Clarke rushed through his dinner and barely followed his usual routine of picking up the newspaper and putting it back down. He paced back and forth in the room a couple of times, opened the drawer, paused for a moment, and then sat down. He leaned back, lost in one of those daydreams he often had, and finally pulled out his book, opening it to the last entry. There were three or four pages densely filled with Clarke's neat, rounded handwriting, and at the beginning, he had written in slightly larger letters:

Singular Narrative told me by my Friend, Dr. Phillips. He assures me that all the facts related therein are strictly and wholly True, but refuses to give either the Surnames of the Persons concerned, or the Place where these Extraordinary Events occurred.

Singular Narrative shared with me by my friend, Dr. Phillips. He tells me that all the facts mentioned here are completely and completely true, but he won’t reveal either the last names of the people involved or the location where these extraordinary events took place.

Mr. Clarke began to read over the account for the tenth time, glancing now and then at the pencil notes he had made when it was told him by his friend. It was one of his humours to pride himself on a certain literary ability; he thought well of his style, and took pains in arranging the circumstances in dramatic order. He read the following story:[182]

Mr. Clarke started reading the account for the tenth time, occasionally looking at the pencil notes he had made when his friend told him the story. He took pride in his literary skills; he thought highly of his writing style and worked hard to arrange the events in a dramatic way. He read the following story:[182]

The persons concerned in this statement are Helen V., who, if she is still alive, must now be a woman of twenty-three, Rachel M., since deceased, who was a year younger than the above, and Trevor W., an imbecile, aged eighteen. These persons were at the period of the story inhabitants of a village on the borders of Wales, a place of some importance in the time of the Roman occupation, but now a scattered hamlet, of not more than five hundred souls. It is situated on rising ground, about six miles from the sea, and is sheltered by a large and picturesque forest.

The people mentioned in this statement are Helen V., who, if she is still alive, would now be twenty-three, Rachel M., who has since passed away and was a year younger than Helen, and Trevor W., who has an intellectual disability and is eighteen. These individuals lived in a village on the outskirts of Wales during the time of the story, which was significant during the Roman occupation but is now a small hamlet with no more than five hundred residents. It’s located on elevated ground, about six miles from the sea, and is surrounded by a large and scenic forest.

Some eleven years ago, Helen V. came to the village under rather peculiar circumstances. It is understood that she, being an orphan, was adopted in her infancy by a distant relative, who brought her up in his own house till she was twelve years old. Thinking, however, that it would be better for the child to have playmates of her own age, he advertised in several local papers for a good home in a comfortable farmhouse for a girl of twelve, and this advertisement was answered by Mr. R., a well-to-do farmer in the above-mentioned village. His references proving satisfactory, the gentleman sent his adopted daughter to Mr. R., with a letter, in which he stipulated that the girl should have a room to herself, and stated that her guardians need be at no trouble in the matter of education, as she was already sufficiently educated for the position in life which she would occupy. In fact, Mr. R. was given to understand that the girl was to be allowed to find her own occupations, and to spend her time almost as she liked. Mr. R. duly met her at the nearest station, a town some seven miles away from his house, and seems to have remarked[183] nothing extraordinary about the child, except that she was reticent as to her former life and her adopted father. She was, however, of a very different type from the inhabitants of the village; her skin was a pale, clear olive, and her features were strongly marked, and of a somewhat foreign character. She appears to have settled down easily enough into farmhouse life, and became a favourite with the children, who sometimes went with her on her rambles in the forest, for this was her amusement. Mr. R. states that he has known her go out by herself directly after their early breakfast, and not return till after dusk, and that, feeling uneasy at a young girl being out alone for so many hours, he communicated with her adopted father, who replied in a brief note that Helen must do as she chose. In the winter, when the forest paths are impassable, she spent most of her time in her bedroom, where she slept alone, according to the instructions of her relative. It was on one of these expeditions to the forest that the first of the singular incidents with which this girl is connected occurred, the date being about a year after her arrival at the village. The preceding winter had been remarkably severe, the snow drifting to a great depth, and the frost continuing for an unexampled period, and the summer following was as noteworthy for its extreme heat. On one of the very hottest days in this summer, Helen V. left the farmhouse for one of her long rambles in the forest, taking with her, as usual, some bread and meat for lunch. She was seen by some men in the fields making for the old Roman Road, a green causeway which traverses the highest part of the wood, and they were astonished to observe that[184] the girl had taken off her hat, though the heat of the sun was already almost tropical. As it happened, a labourer, Joseph W. by name, was working in the forest near the Roman Road, and at twelve o'clock his little son, Trevor, brought the man his dinner of bread and cheese. After the meal, the boy, who was about seven years old at the time, left his father at work, and, as he said, went to look for flowers in the wood, and the man, who could hear him shouting with delight over his discoveries, felt no uneasiness. Suddenly, however, he was horrified at hearing the most dreadful screams, evidently the result of great terror, proceeding from the direction in which his son had gone, and he hastily threw down his tools and ran to see what had happened. Tracing his path by the sound, he met the little boy, who was running headlong, and was evidently terribly frightened, and on questioning him the man at last elicited that after picking a posy of flowers he felt tired, and lay down on the grass and fell asleep. He was suddenly awakened, as he stated, by a peculiar noise, a sort of singing he called it, and on peeping through the branches he saw Helen V. playing on the grass with a 'strange naked man,' whom he seemed unable to describe more fully. He said he felt dreadfully frightened, and ran away crying for his father. Joseph W. proceeded in the direction indicated by his son, and found Helen V. sitting on the grass in the middle of a glade or open space left by charcoal burners. He angrily charged her with frightening his little boy, but she entirely denied the accusation and laughed at the child's story of a 'strange man,' to which he himself[185] did not attach much credence. Joseph W. came to the conclusion that the boy had woke up with a sudden fright, as children sometimes do, but Trevor persisted in his story, and continued in such evident distress that at last his father took him home, hoping that his mother would be able to soothe him. For many weeks, however, the boy gave his parents much anxiety; he became nervous and strange in his manner, refusing to leave the cottage by himself, and constantly alarming the household by waking in the night with cries of 'The man in the wood! father! father!'

Some eleven years ago, Helen V. came to the village under rather unusual circumstances. It’s known that she, being an orphan, was adopted as a baby by a distant relative, who raised her in his home until she turned twelve. However, thinking it would be better for her to have friends her own age, he placed ads in several local papers seeking a good home in a comfortable farmhouse for a twelve-year-old girl. This ad was answered by Mr. R., a prosperous farmer in the aforementioned village. After checking references and finding them satisfactory, he sent his adopted daughter to Mr. R. along with a letter specifying that the girl should have her own room and stating that her guardians wouldn’t have to worry about her education, as she was already educated enough for her future life. In fact, Mr. R. understood that the girl was to be free to find her own activities and spend her time as she wished. Mr. R. met her at the nearest station, a town about seven miles from his home, and remarked that there was nothing particularly unusual about the child except that she was quite reserved about her past and her adoptive father. However, she looked quite different from the villagers; her skin was a pale, clear olive, her features were pronounced, and somewhat foreign. She seemed to adapt to farmhouse life easily and quickly became a favorite with the children, who sometimes joined her on her walks in the forest, which was her favorite pastime. Mr. R. mentioned that he’d seen her go out alone right after their early breakfast and not return until after dark, and concerned about a young girl being alone for so many hours, he contacted her adoptive father, who replied briefly that Helen should be free to do as she wished. In winter, when the forest paths were impassable, she spent most of her time in her bedroom, where she slept alone, following her relative’s instructions. It was during one of her forest excursions that the first of the strange incidents involving this girl occurred, about a year after she arrived in the village. The previous winter had been particularly harsh, with snow accumulating to great depths and an unusually long frost, while the summer that followed was marked by extreme heat. On one of the hottest days that summer, Helen V. left the farmhouse for one of her long forest walks, taking bread and meat for lunch as usual. Some men in the fields saw her heading for the old Roman Road, a green path that runs through the highest part of the woods, and they were surprised to see that she had taken off her hat, even though the sun was already blazing. Coincidentally, a laborer named Joseph W. was working in the forest near the Roman Road, and at noon, his young son, Trevor, brought him lunch of bread and cheese. After the meal, the boy, who was about seven years old at the time, left his father at work and, as he said, went looking for flowers in the woods, and the man, hearing him cheerfully shouting about his finds, felt no worry. Suddenly, however, he was horrified to hear terrifying screams coming from the direction where his son had gone, and he quickly dropped his tools and ran to see what was wrong. Following the sounds, he met his little boy, who was running toward him in a panic, clearly frightened, and upon questioning him, the man learned that after picking some flowers, he had felt tired, lay down on the grass, and fell asleep. He said he was abruptly awakened by a strange noise, which he described as singing, and when he peeked through the branches, he saw Helen V. playing on the grass with a “strange naked man,” who he couldn’t describe any further. He admitted he had felt terrified and ran away crying for his father. Joseph W. went in the direction his son pointed out and found Helen V. sitting on the grass in a clearing or open area left by charcoal burners. He angrily accused her of scaring his little boy, but she completely denied it and laughed off the child’s story of a “strange man,” which even he seemed to doubt. Joseph W. concluded that the boy must’ve woken up in a fright, as children sometimes do, but Trevor insisted on his story and was so visibly distressed that eventually his father took him home, hoping that his mother could calm him down. For many weeks following, the boy caused his parents much worry; he became anxious and acted strangely, refusing to leave the cottage alone, and continually frightening the household by waking up at night screaming, “The man in the wood! Father! Father!”

In course of time, however, the impression seemed to have worn off, and about three months later he accompanied his father to the house of a gentleman in the neighbourhood, for whom Joseph W. occasionally did work. The man was shown into the study, and the little boy was left sitting in the hall, and a few minutes later, while the gentleman was giving W. his instructions, they were both horrified by a piercing shriek and the sound of a fall, and rushing out they found the child lying senseless on the floor, his face contorted with terror. The doctor was immediately summoned, and after some examination he pronounced the child to be suffering from a kind of fit, apparently produced by a sudden shock. The boy was taken to one of the bedrooms, and after some time recovered consciousness, but only to pass into a condition described by the medical man as one of violent hysteria. The doctor exhibited a strong sedative, and in the course of two hours pronounced him fit to walk home, but in passing through the hall the paroxysms of fright returned and with additional violence. The father[186] perceived that the child was pointing at some object, and heard the old cry, 'The man in the wood,' and looking in the direction indicated saw a stone head of grotesque appearance, which had been built into the wall above one of the doors. It seems that the owner of the house had recently made alterations in his premises, and on digging the foundation for some offices, the men had found a curious head, evidently of the Roman period, which had been placed in the hall in the manner described. The head is pronounced by the most experienced archaeologists of the district to be that of a faun or satyr.[1]

Over time, though, the initial shock seemed to fade, and about three months later, he went with his father to the home of a man in the neighborhood for whom Joseph W. occasionally did work. The man was taken to the study, and the little boy was left sitting in the hallway. A few minutes later, while the gentleman was giving W. his instructions, they were both horrified by a piercing scream and the sound of a fall. Rushing out, they found the child lying unconscious on the floor, his face twisted in fear. The doctor was called right away, and after examining him, he said the child was suffering from a type of fit, likely caused by a sudden shock. The boy was moved to one of the bedrooms, and after a while, he regained consciousness, but only to fall into what the doctor described as a state of severe hysteria. The doctor administered a strong sedative, and after a couple of hours, he declared the boy well enough to walk home. However, as they passed through the hall, the boy's panic returned, even more intense than before. The father noticed the child was pointing at something and heard the old cry, “The man in the wood.” Looking in the direction the child indicated, he saw a stone head with a strange appearance, built into the wall above one of the doors. It turned out that the homeowner had recently made renovations, and while digging for new office foundations, workers had unearthed a peculiar head, clearly from the Roman era, which had been placed in the hall as described. The head was identified by the most experienced archaeologists in the area as that of a faun or satyr.[1]

[1] Dr. Phillips tells me that he has seen the head in question, and assures me that he has never received such a vivid presentment of intense evil.

[1] Dr. Phillips tells me he has seen the head in question and assures me he has never encountered such a striking representation of pure evil.

From whatever cause arising, this second shock seemed too severe for the boy Trevor, and at the present date he suffers from a weakness of intellect, which gives but little promise of amending. The matter caused a good deal of sensation at the time, and the girl Helen was closely questioned by Mr. R., but to no purpose, she steadfastly denying that she had frightened or in any way molested Trevor.

From whatever cause it came, this second shock seemed too much for the boy Trevor, and even now he suffers from a mental weakness that offers little hope of improvement. This situation caused quite a stir at the time, and the girl Helen was thoroughly questioned by Mr. R., but to no avail; she firmly denied that she had frightened or in any way bothered Trevor.

The second event with which this girl's name is connected took place about six years ago, and is of a still more extraordinary character.

The second event associated with this girl's name happened about six years ago and is even more extraordinary.

At the beginning of the summer of 1882 Helen contracted a friendship of a peculiarly intimate character with Rachel M., the daughter of a prosperous farmer in the neighbourhood. This girl, who was a year younger than Helen, was considered by most people to be the prettier of the two, though Helen's features had to a great extent softened as she became older.[187] The two girls, who were together on every available opportunity, presented a singular contrast, the one with her clear, olive skin and almost Italian appearance, and the other of the proverbial red and white of our rural districts. It must be stated that the payments made to Mr. R. for the maintenance of Helen were known in the village for their excessive liberality, and the impression was general that she would one day inherit a large sum of money from her relative. The parents of Rachel were therefore not averse from their daughter's friendship with the girl, and even encouraged the intimacy, though they now bitterly regret having done so. Helen still retained her extraordinary fondness for the forest, and on several occasions Rachel accompanied her, the two friends setting out early in the morning, and remaining in the wood till dusk. Once or twice after these excursions Mrs. M. thought her daughter's manner rather peculiar; she seemed languid and dreamy, and as it has been expressed, 'different from herself,' but these peculiarities seem to have been thought too trifling for remark. One evening, however, after Rachel had come home, her mother heard a noise which sounded like suppressed weeping in the girl's room, and on going in found her lying, half undressed, upon the bed, evidently in the greatest distress. As soon as she saw her mother, she exclaimed, 'Ah, mother, mother, why did you let me go to the forest with Helen?' Mrs. M. was astonished at so strange a question, and proceeded to make inquiries. Rachel told her a wild story. She said—

At the start of the summer of 1882, Helen developed a close friendship with Rachel M., the daughter of a successful farmer nearby. This girl, who was a year younger than Helen, was generally considered the prettier of the two, although Helen's features had softened as she grew older.[187] The two girls, who made the most of every chance to be together, made an interesting contrast—one with her clear, olive skin and almost Italian look, and the other with the classic red and white of our rural areas. It's worth mentioning that the payments made to Mr. R. for Helen's upkeep were known in the village for being excessively generous, leading to the widespread belief that she would eventually inherit a large sum of money from her relative. Rachel's parents, therefore, were not against their daughter forming a friendship with Helen and even encouraged their closeness, although they now deeply regret doing so. Helen continued to have an extraordinary love for the forest, and several times Rachel accompanied her; the two friends would set out early in the morning and stay in the woods until dusk. Once or twice after these trips, Mrs. M. noticed that Rachel seemed a bit off; she appeared sluggish and dreamy, as people said, 'different from herself,' but these oddities were deemed too minor to comment on. One evening, after Rachel returned home, her mother heard a sound resembling muffled crying from her daughter's room. When she went in, she found Rachel lying on the bed, half undressed and clearly in distress. As soon as she saw her mother, Rachel exclaimed, 'Oh, mother, mother, why did you let me go to the forest with Helen?' Mrs. M. was taken aback by such a strange question and began to ask her what was wrong. Rachel told her a wild story. She said—

Clarke closed the book with a snap, and turned his chair towards the fire. When his friend sat one evening[188] in that very chair, and told his story, Clarke had interrupted him at a point a little subsequent to this, had cut short his words in a paroxysm of horror. 'My God!' he had exclaimed, 'think, think what you are saying. It is too incredible, too monstrous; such things can never be in this quiet world, where men and women live and die, and struggle, and conquer, or maybe fail, and fall down under sorrow, and grieve and suffer strange fortunes for many a year; but not this, Phillips, not such things as this. There must be some explanation, some way out of the terror. Why, man, if such a case were possible, our earth would be a nightmare.'

Clarke closed the book with a snap and turned his chair toward the fire. When his friend sat in that very chair one evening[188] and shared his story, Clarke had interrupted him a bit later, cutting him off in a wave of horror. "My God!" he exclaimed, "think about what you're saying. It's too unbelievable, too monstrous; things like this can’t happen in this quiet world where people live and die, struggle, and either succeed or fail, and deal with sorrow, grieving and enduring strange circumstances for many years; but not this, Phillips, not things like this. There has to be some explanation, some way out of this terror. I mean, if this were possible, our earth would be a nightmare."

But Phillips had told his story to the end, concluding:

But Phillips finished telling his story, wrapping up with:

'Her flight remains a mystery to this day; she vanished in broad sunlight; they saw her walking in a meadow, and a few moments later she was not there.'

'Her disappearance is still a mystery; she vanished in the bright sunlight; they saw her walking in a meadow, and just moments later she was gone.'

Clarke tried to conceive the thing again, as he sat by the fire, and again his mind shuddered and shrank back, appalled before the sight of such awful, unspeakable elements enthroned as it were, and triumphant in human flesh. Before him stretched the long dim vista of the green causeway in the forest, as his friend had described it; he saw the swaying leaves and the quivering shadows on the grass, he saw the sunlight and the flowers, and far away, far in the long distance, the two figures moved toward him. One was Rachel, but the other?

Clarke tried to picture the scene again as he sat by the fire, but once more his mind recoiled in horror at the thought of such terrible, indescribable forces ruling, so to speak, and prevailing in human form. In front of him lay the long, dim path of the green trail in the forest, just as his friend had described; he saw the rustling leaves and the shifting shadows on the grass, he saw the sunlight and the flowers, and in the far distance, he noticed two figures approaching him. One was Rachel, but who was the other?

Clarke had tried his best to disbelieve it all, but at[189] the end of the account, as he had written it in his book, he had placed the inscription:

Clarke had done everything he could to doubt it all, but at[189] the end of the story, as he had written it in his book, he had added the inscription:

ET DIABOLUS INCARNATUS EST. ET HOMO FACTUS EST.

ET DIABOLUS INCARNATUS EST. ET HOMO FACTUS EST.

III
THE CITY OF RESURRECTIONS

'Herbert! Good God! Is it possible?'

'Herbert! Oh my God! Is that even possible?'

'Yes, my name's Herbert. I think I know your face too, but I don't remember your name. My memory is very queer.'

'Yeah, my name's Herbert. I think I recognize your face as well, but I can't recall your name. My memory is pretty strange.'

'Don't you recollect Villiers of Wadham?'

'Don't you remember Villiers of Wadham?'

'So it is, so it is. I beg your pardon, Villiers, I didn't think I was begging of an old college friend. Good-night.'

'So it is, so it is. I'm sorry, Villiers, I didn't realize I was asking an old college friend for a favor. Goodnight.'

'My dear fellow, this haste is unnecessary. My rooms are close by, but we won't go there just yet. Suppose we walk up Shaftesbury Avenue a little way? But how in heaven's name have you come to this pass, Herbert?'

'My dear friend, this rush is unnecessary. My place is nearby, but we won't go there just yet. How about we take a walk up Shaftesbury Avenue for a bit? But how on earth did you end up in this situation, Herbert?'

'It's a long story, Villiers, and a strange one too, but you can hear it if you like.'

'It's a long and strange story, Villiers, but you can hear it if you want.'

'Come on, then. Take my arm, you don't seem very strong.'

'Come on, then. Take my arm; you don’t look very strong.'

The ill-assorted pair moved slowly up Rupert Street; the one in dirty, evil-looking rags, and the other attired in the regulation uniform of a man about town, trim, glossy, and eminently well-to-do. Villiers had emerged from his restaurant after an excellent dinner of many courses, assisted by an ingratiating little flask[190] of Chianti, and, in that frame of mind which was with him almost chronic, had delayed a moment by the door, peering round in the dimly-lighted street in search of those mysterious incidents and persons with which the streets of London teem in every quarter and at every hour. Villiers prided himself as a practised explorer of such obscure mazes and byways of London life, and in this unprofitable pursuit he displayed an assiduity which was worthy of more serious employment. Thus he stood beside the lamp-post surveying the passers-by with undisguised curiosity, and with that gravity only known to the systematic diner, had just enunciated in his mind the formula: 'London has been called the city of encounters; it is more than that, it is the city of Resurrections,' when these reflections were suddenly interrupted by a piteous whine at his elbow, and a deplorable appeal for alms. He looked around in some irritation, and with a sudden shock found himself confronted with the embodied proof of his somewhat stilted fancies. There, close beside him, his face altered and disfigured by poverty and disgrace, his body barely covered by greasy ill-fitting rags, stood his old friend Charles Herbert, who had matriculated on the same day as himself, with whom he had been merry and wise for twelve revolving terms. Different occupations and varying interests had interrupted the friendship, and it was six years since Villiers had seen Herbert; and now he looked upon this wreck of a man with grief and dismay, mingled with a certain inquisitiveness as to what dreary chain of circumstance had dragged him down to such a doleful pass. Villiers felt together with compassion all the relish of the amateur[191] in mysteries, and congratulated himself on his leisurely speculations outside the restaurant.

The mismatched pair slowly walked up Rupert Street; one was in dirty, ragged clothes that looked bad, while the other was dressed in the sharp uniform of a well-off city man—neat, polished, and obviously affluent. Villiers had just come out of a restaurant after a fantastic multi-course dinner, accompanied by a nice little flask of Chianti, and, in that mood which seemed almost permanent for him, paused for a moment by the door, scanning the dimly lit street for the mysterious events and people that fill London at all hours. He took pride in being an experienced explorer of the city’s hidden corners and alleys, and in this pointless pursuit, he showed a dedication that deserved a more meaningful cause. So, he stood beside the lamppost, watching the people pass by with clear curiosity, and with the seriousness known only to someone who dines regularly, he had just mentally noted, “London is called a city of encounters; it’s even more—it's the city of Resurrections,” when his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a pitiful whine next to him and a desperate plea for change. He looked over in annoyance and was jolted to find the living proof of his rather grand musings standing right there. Close beside him, with a face worn and disfigured by hardship and shame, and his body barely clothed in greasy, ill-fitting rags, stood his old friend Charles Herbert, who had started school on the same day as him, someone with whom he had shared laughter and wisdom for twelve years. Different jobs and interests had pulled them apart, and it had been six years since Villiers had seen Herbert; now, he looked at this broken man with sadness and shock, mixed with a curiosity about what sad set of circumstances had led him to such a miserable state. Villiers felt, along with his compassion, the thrill of an amateur sleuth in mysteries and congratulated himself on his leisurely musings outside the restaurant.

They walked on in silence for some time, and more than one passer-by stared in astonishment at the unaccustomed spectacle of a well-dressed man with an unmistakable beggar hanging on to his arm, and, observing this, Villiers led the way to an obscure street in Soho. Here he repeated his question.

They walked in silence for a while, and several people passing by stared in disbelief at the unusual sight of a well-dressed man with a clear beggar clinging to his arm. Noticing this, Villiers led the way to a quiet street in Soho. There, he asked his question again.

'How on earth has it happened, Herbert? I always understood you would succeed to an excellent position in Dorsetshire. Did your father disinherit you? Surely not?'

'How on earth did this happen, Herbert? I always thought you would inherit a great position in Dorsetshire. Did your father cut you out of the will? Surely not?'

'No, Villiers; I came into all the property at my poor father's death; he died a year after I left Oxford. He was a very good father to me, and I mourned his death sincerely enough. But you know what young men are; a few months later I came up to town and went a good deal into society. Of course I had excellent introductions, and I managed to enjoy myself very much in a harmless sort of way. I played a little, certainly, but never for heavy stakes, and the few bets I made on races brought me in money—only a few pounds, you know, but enough to pay for cigars and such petty pleasures. It was in my second season that the tide turned. Of course you have heard of my marriage?'

'No, Villiers; I inherited all the property when my poor father passed away; he died a year after I left Oxford. He was a very good dad, and I truly mourned his loss. But you know how young men are; a few months later, I came to the city and got involved in social life quite a bit. I had great introductions, and I really enjoyed myself in a pretty innocent way. I did gamble a little, for sure, but never for high stakes, and the few bets I placed on races brought me in some money—just a few pounds, enough to cover cigars and small indulgences. It was during my second season that everything changed. I'm sure you've heard about my marriage?'

'No, I never heard anything about it.'

'No, I’ve never heard anything about it.'

'Yes, I married, Villiers. I met a girl, a girl of the most wonderful and most strange beauty, at the house of some people whom I knew. I cannot tell you her age; I never knew it, but, so far as I can guess, I should think she must have been about nineteen when I made her acquaintance. My friends had come to[192] know her at Florence; she told them she was an orphan, the child of an English father and an Italian mother, and she charmed them as she charmed me. The first time I saw her was at an evening party. I was standing by the door talking to a friend, when suddenly above the hum and babble of conversation I heard a voice which seemed to thrill to my heart. She was singing an Italian song. I was introduced to her that evening, and in three months I married Helen. Villiers, that woman, if I can call her woman, corrupted my soul. The night of the wedding I found myself sitting in her bedroom in the hotel, listening to her talk. She was sitting up in bed, and I listened to her as she spoke in her beautiful voice, spoke of things which even now I would not dare whisper in blackest night, though I stood in the midst of a wilderness. You, Villiers, you may think you know life, and London, and what goes on day and night in this dreadful city; for all I can say you may have heard the talk of the vilest, but I tell you you can have no conception of what I know, not in your most fantastic, hideous dreams can you have imaged forth the faintest shadow of what I have heard—and seen. Yes, seen. I have seen the incredible, such horrors that even I myself sometimes stop in the middle of the street, and ask whether it is possible for a man to behold such things and live. In a year, Villiers, I was a ruined man, in body and soul—in body and soul.'

'Yes, I got married, Villiers. I met a girl, a girl with the most amazing and peculiar beauty, at the home of some people I knew. I can’t say how old she was; I never asked, but I guess she must have been around nineteen when I first met her. My friends had met her in Florence; she told them she was an orphan, the child of an English father and an Italian mother, and she captivated them just like she did me. The first time I saw her was at an evening party. I was standing by the door chatting with a friend when suddenly, above the chatter and noise, I heard a voice that sent a thrill straight to my heart. She was singing an Italian song. I was introduced to her that night, and within three months, I married Helen. Villiers, that woman—if I can even call her that—corrupted my soul. On the night of our wedding, I found myself sitting in her hotel room, listening to her talk. She was propped up in bed, and I listened to her beautiful voice as she talked about things I wouldn’t dare even whisper in the darkest night, even if I stood alone in the wilderness. You, Villiers, may think you know life and London, and everything that happens day and night in this awful city; for all I know, you may have heard the stories from the lowest of the low, but I promise you, you can’t fathom what I know. Not in your wildest, most nightmarish dreams could you imagine even a glimpse of what I have heard—and seen. Yes, seen. I have witnessed the unimaginable, such horrors that even I sometimes stop dead in the street and wonder how it’s possible for someone to witness such things and still live. Within a year, Villiers, I was a broken man, in body and soul—in body and soul.'

'But your property, Herbert? You had land in Dorset.'

'But what about your property, Herbert? You owned land in Dorset.'

'I sold it all; the fields and woods, the dear old house—everything.'

'I sold everything; the fields and woods, the beloved old house—everything.'

'And the money?'[193]

'And the money?'

'She took it all from me.'

'She took everything from me.'

'And then left you?'

'So they just left you?'

'Yes; she disappeared one night. I don't know where she went, but I am sure if I saw her again it would kill me. The rest of my story is of no interest; sordid misery, that is all. You may think, Villiers, that I have exaggerated and talked for effect; but I have not told you half. I could tell you certain things which would convince you, but you would never know a happy day again. You would pass the rest of your life, as I pass mine, a haunted man, a man who has seen hell.'

'Yeah, she vanished one night. I don't know where she went, but I’m certain that if I ever saw her again, it would destroy me. The rest of my story isn't interesting; just a lot of miserable stuff, that's all. You might think, Villiers, that I’m exaggerating and saying this for dramatic effect, but I haven’t even shared half of it. I could tell you some things that would convince you, but you'd never experience a happy day again. You would spend the rest of your life like I do, as a haunted man, a man who has faced hell.'

Villiers took the unfortunate man to his rooms, and gave him a meal. Herbert could eat little, and scarcely touched the glass of wine set before him. He sat moody and silent by the fire, and seemed relieved when Villiers sent him away with a small present of money.

Villiers took the unfortunate guy to his place and gave him a meal. Herbert could hardly eat and barely touched the glass of wine in front of him. He sat glum and quiet by the fire and seemed relieved when Villiers sent him off with a small gift of cash.

'By the way, Herbert,' said Villiers, as they parted at the door, 'what was your wife's name? You said Helen, I think? Helen what?'

'By the way, Herbert,' Villiers said as they were leaving through the door, 'what was your wife's name? I think you mentioned it was Helen? Helen what?'

'The name she passed under when I met her was Helen Vaughan, but what her real name was I can't say. I don't think she had a name. No, no, not in that sense. Only human beings have names, Villiers; I can't say any more. Good-bye; yes, I will not fail to call if I see any way in which you can help me. Good-night.'

'The name she went by when I met her was Helen Vaughan, but I can't tell you what her real name was. I don’t think she really had a name. No, not in that way. Only humans have names, Villiers; I can’t say more than that. Goodbye; yes, I won’t hesitate to reach out if I see a way you can help me. Good night.'

The man went out into the bitter night, and Villiers returned to his fireside. There was something about Herbert which shocked him inexpressibly; not his poor rags nor the marks which poverty had set upon his face, but rather an indefinite terror which hung[194] about him like a mist. He had acknowledged that he himself was not devoid of blame; the woman, he had avowed, had corrupted him body and soul, and Villiers felt that this man, once his friend, had been an actor in scenes evil beyond the power of words. His story needed no confirmation: he himself was the embodied proof of it. Villiers mused curiously over the story he had heard, and wondered whether he had heard both the first and the last of it. 'No,' he thought, 'certainly not the last, probably only the beginning. A case like this is like a nest of Chinese boxes; you open one after another and find a quainter workmanship in every box. Most likely poor Herbert is merely one of the outside boxes; there are stranger ones to follow.'

The man stepped out into the freezing night, while Villiers went back to his warm fireside. There was something about Herbert that deeply unsettled him; it wasn't just the tattered clothes or the signs of poverty etched on his face, but rather a vague dread that surrounded him like a fog. He recognized that he wasn't without fault himself; he had admitted that the woman had tainted him completely, and Villiers felt that this man, once his friend, had participated in wicked acts beyond what words could describe. His story needed no validation: he was living proof of it. Villiers thoughtfully considered the tale he had just heard, wondering whether he had gotten the whole story or just bits and pieces. 'No,' he thought, 'definitely not the whole story, probably only the start. A case like this is like a set of Russian nesting dolls; you keep opening them and find something even more intricate in each one. Most likely, poor Herbert is just one of the outer dolls; there are even stranger ones waiting to be uncovered.'

Villiers could not take his mind away from Herbert and his story, which seemed to grow wilder as the night wore on. The fire began to burn low, and the chilly air of the morning crept into the room; Villiers got up with a glance over his shoulder, and shivering slightly, went to bed.

Villiers couldn’t stop thinking about Herbert and his story, which seemed to get crazier as the night went on. The fire started to die down, and the morning chill crept into the room; Villiers got up, glancing over his shoulder, and shivering a bit, headed to bed.

A few days later he saw at his club a gentleman of his acquaintance, named Austin, who was famous for his intimate knowledge of London life, both in its tenebrous and luminous phases. Villiers, still full of his encounter in Soho and its consequences, thought Austin might possibly be able to shed some light on Herbert's history, and so after some casual talk he suddenly put the question:

A few days later, he ran into a guy he knew named Austin at his club. Austin was well-known for his deep understanding of London life, both its dark and bright sides. Villiers, still thinking about his encounter in Soho and what came of it, figured Austin might be able to clarify some things about Herbert's background, so after some small talk, he suddenly asked the question:

'Do you happen to know anything of a man named Herbert—Charles Herbert?'

'Do you happen to know anything about a man named Herbert—Charles Herbert?'

Austin turned round sharply and stared at Villiers with some astonishment.[195]

Austin turned around quickly and looked at Villiers with surprise.[195]

'Charles Herbert? Weren't you in town three years ago? No; then you have not heard of the Paul Street case? It caused a good deal of sensation at the time.'

'Charles Herbert? Weren't you in town three years ago? No? Then you haven't heard about the Paul Street case? It caused quite a stir back then.'

'What was the case?'

'What was the situation?'

'Well, a gentleman, a man of very good position, was found dead, stark dead, in the area of a certain house in Paul Street, off Tottenham Court Road. Of course the police did not make the discovery; if you happen to be sitting up all night and have a light in your window, the constable will ring the bell, but if you happen to be lying dead in somebody's area, you will be left alone. In this instance as in many others the alarm was raised by some kind of vagabond; I don't mean a common tramp, or a public-house loafer, but a gentleman, whose business or pleasure, or both, made him a spectator of the London streets at five o'clock in the morning. This individual was, as he said, "going home," it did not appear whence or whither, and had occasion to pass through Paul Street between four and five a. m. Something or other caught his eye at Number 20; he said, absurdly enough, that the house had the most unpleasant physiognomy he had ever observed, but, at any rate, he glanced down the area, and was a good deal astonished to see a man lying on the stones, his limbs all huddled together, and his face turned up. Our gentleman thought his face looked peculiarly ghastly, and so set off at a run in search of the nearest policeman. The constable was at first inclined to treat the matter lightly, suspecting common drunkenness; however, he came, and after looking at the man's face, changed his tone, quickly enough. The early bird, who had picked[196] up this fine worm, was sent off for a doctor, and the policeman rang and knocked at the door till a slatternly servant girl came down looking more than half asleep. The constable pointed out the contents of the area to the maid, who screamed loudly enough to wake up the street, but she knew nothing of the man; had never seen him at the house, and so forth. Meanwhile the original discoverer had come back with a medical man, and the next thing was to get into the area. The gate was open, so the whole quartet stumped down the steps. The doctor hardly needed a moment's examination; he said the poor fellow had been dead for several hours, and it was then the case began to get interesting. The dead man had not been robbed, and in one of his pockets were papers identifying him as—well, as a man of good family and means, a favourite in society, and nobody's enemy, so far as could be known. I don't give his name, Villiers, because it has nothing to do with the story, and because it's no good raking up these affairs about the dead when there are no relations living. The next curious point was that the medical men couldn't agree as to how he met his death. There were some slight bruises on his shoulders, but they were so slight that it looked as if he had been pushed roughly out of the kitchen door, and not thrown over the railings from the street or even dragged down the steps. But there were positively no other marks of violence about him, certainly none that would account for his death; and when they came to the autopsy there wasn't a trace of poison of any kind. Of course the police wanted to know all about the people at Number 20, and here[197] again, so I have heard from private sources, one or two other very curious points came out. It appears that the occupants of the house were a Mr. and Mrs. Charles Herbert; he was said to be a landed proprietor, though it struck most people that Paul Street was not exactly the place to look for county gentry. As for Mrs. Herbert, nobody seemed to know who or what she was, and, between ourselves, I fancy the divers after her history found themselves in rather strange waters. Of course they both denied knowing anything about the deceased, and in default of any evidence against them they were discharged. But some very odd things came out about them. Though it was between five and six in the morning when the dead man was removed, a large crowd had collected, and several of the neighbours ran to see what was going on. They were pretty free with their comments, by all accounts, and from these it appeared that Number 20 was in very bad odour in Paul Street. The detectives tried to trace down these rumours to some solid foundation of fact, but could not get hold of anything. People shook their heads and raised their eyebrows and thought the Herberts rather "queer," "would rather not be seen going into their house," and so on, but there was nothing tangible. The authorities were morally certain that the man met his death in some way or another in the house and was thrown out by the kitchen door, but they couldn't prove it, and the absence of any indications of violence or poisoning left them helpless. An odd case, wasn't it? But curiously enough, there's something more that I haven't told you. I happened to know one of the doctors who[198] was consulted as to the cause of death, and some time after the inquest I met him, and asked him about it. "Do you really mean to tell me," I said, "that you were baffled by the case, that you actually don't know what the man died of?" "Pardon me," he replied, "I know perfectly well what caused death. Blank died of fright, of sheer, awful terror; I never saw features so hideously contorted in the entire course of my practice, and I have seen the faces of a whole host of dead." The doctor was usually a cool customer enough, and a certain vehemence in his manner struck me, but I couldn't get anything more out of him. I suppose the Treasury didn't see their way to prosecuting the Herberts for frightening a man to death; at any rate, nothing was done, and the case dropped out of men's minds. Do you happen to know anything of Herbert?'

'Well, a gentleman of good standing was found dead, completely dead, in the area of a certain house on Paul Street, off Tottenham Court Road. Of course, the police didn’t make the discovery; if you're up all night with a light in your window, the constable will ring your bell, but if you happen to be lying dead in someone’s area, you’ll be ignored. In this case, as in many others, the alarm was raised by some sort of vagabond; I don’t mean a common tramp or a barfly, but a gentleman whose business or leisure had him observing the streets of London at five in the morning. This individual was, as he said, "going home," without any indication of where he came from or where he was headed, and he happened to pass through Paul Street between four and five a.m. Something caught his eye at Number 20; he absurdly claimed that the house had the most unpleasant appearance he had ever seen, but he glanced down the area and was quite surprised to see a man lying on the ground, his limbs all twisted together and his face turned up. Our gentleman thought his face looked especially ghastly, so he took off running in search of the nearest policeman. The constable was initially inclined to dismiss it, suspecting typical drunkenness; however, he came over and after looking at the man’s face, quickly changed his tone. The early riser who had spotted this unfortunate situation was sent off to find a doctor, and the policeman rang and knocked at the door until a disheveled servant girl came down looking more than half asleep. The constable pointed out what was going on in the area to the maid, who screamed loud enough to wake the entire street, but she knew nothing about the man; claimed she had never seen him at the house, and so on. Meanwhile, the original discoverer returned with a doctor, and the next step was to get into the area. The gate was open, so the four of them trudged down the steps. The doctor hardly needed a moment to examine the body; he said the poor fellow had been dead for several hours, and that’s when the case began to get interesting. The dead man hadn't been robbed, and in one of his pockets were papers identifying him as—well, a man of good family and means, well-liked in society, and nobody's enemy, as far as anyone knew. I'm not mentioning his name, Villiers, because it doesn’t matter to the story and because there’s no point in digging up these matters about the dead when there are no relatives left. The next curious point was that the medical professionals couldn't agree on how he died. There were some slight bruises on his shoulders, but they were so minor that it looked like he had been pushed roughly out of the kitchen door, rather than thrown over the railings from the street or even dragged down the steps. Yet there were absolutely no other signs of violence on him, certainly none that would explain his death; and when they performed the autopsy, there wasn’t a trace of poison. Naturally, the police wanted to know everything about the people at Number 20, and here again, from what I’ve heard from private sources, one or two other very peculiar points came to light. It seems that the occupants of the house were a Mr. and Mrs. Charles Herbert; he was said to be a landowner, although most people thought Paul Street was not exactly the place to find county gentry. As for Mrs. Herbert, nobody seemed to know who she was or what her story was, and, quite frankly, I think those who tried to uncover her background found themselves in pretty murky waters. Of course, they both denied knowing anything about the deceased, and in the absence of any evidence against them, they were let go. However, some very strange things came to light about them. Even though it was between five and six in the morning when the dead man was removed, a large crowd gathered, and several neighbors rushed to see what was happening. They were quite free with their comments, and from this, it appeared that Number 20 had a very bad reputation in Paul Street. The detectives tried to track down these rumors to find a solid basis of fact, but they couldn’t find anything concrete. People shook their heads, raised their eyebrows, and thought the Herberts were rather "odd," saying they "would rather not be seen going into their house," and so on, but there was nothing solid. The authorities were morally certain that the man died in some way in the house and was thrown out through the kitchen door, but they couldn’t prove it, and the absence of evidence for violence or poisoning left them powerless. An odd case, wasn’t it? But strangely enough, there’s something more I haven’t told you. I happened to know one of the doctors who was consulted about the cause of death, and some time after the inquest, I ran into him and asked him about it. "Do you really mean to tell me," I said, "that you were stumped by the case, that you actually don’t know what the man died from?" "Pardon me," he replied, "I know perfectly well what caused his death. Blank died of fright, of sheer, awful terror; I never saw features so horrifically twisted in my entire career, and I’ve seen the faces of a countless number of dead." The doctor was usually quite composed, and the intensity in his manner caught my attention, but I couldn’t extract any more information from him. I suppose the authorities didn’t feel they could prosecute the Herberts for scaring a man to death; at any rate, nothing happened, and the case faded from people’s memories. Do you happen to know anything about Herbert?'

'Well,' replied Villiers, 'he was an old college friend of mine.'

'Well,' Villiers replied, 'he was an old college buddy of mine.'

'You don't say so? Have you ever seen his wife?'

'Really? Have you ever seen his wife?'

'No, I haven't. I have lost sight of Herbert for many years.'

'No, I haven't. I haven't seen Herbert for many years.'

'It's queer, isn't it, parting with a man at the college gate or at Paddington, seeing nothing of him for years, and then finding him pop up his head in such an odd place. But I should like to have seen Mrs. Herbert; people said extraordinary things about her.'

'It's strange, isn't it, saying goodbye to a guy at the college gate or at Paddington, not seeing him for years, and then unexpectedly running into him in such a weird place. But I really would have liked to meet Mrs. Herbert; people said some remarkable things about her.'

'What sort of things?'

'What kinds of things?'

'Well, I hardly know how to tell you. Every one who saw her at the police court said she was at once the most beautiful woman and the most repulsive they had ever set eyes on. I have spoken to a man who saw her, and I assure you he positively shuddered as he tried[199] to describe the woman, but he couldn't tell why. She seems to have been a sort of enigma; and I expect if that one dead man could have told tales, he would have told some uncommonly queer ones. And there you are again in another puzzle; what could a respectable country gentleman like Mr. Blank (we'll call him that if you don't mind) want in such a very queer house as Number 20? It's altogether a very odd case, isn't it?'

'Well, I barely know how to explain this. Everyone who saw her at the police court said she was both the most beautiful woman and the most repulsive they had ever seen. I spoke to a man who saw her, and I assure you he actually shuddered as he tried to describe her, but he couldn't say why. She seems like a kind of mystery; and I think if that one dead man could speak, he would have told some really strange stories. And there's another puzzle for you: what could a respectable country gentleman like Mr. Blank (let's call him that if that's okay with you) want in such a peculiar place as Number 20? It’s definitely a very odd case, isn’t it?'

'It is indeed, Austin; an extraordinary case. I didn't think, when I asked you about my old friend, I should strike on such strange metal. Well, I must be off; good-day.'

'It really is, Austin; an incredible situation. I didn't expect that when I asked you about my old friend, I would stumble upon such unexpected information. Well, I have to go; take care.'

Villiers went away, thinking of his own conceit of the Chinese boxes; here was quaint workmanship indeed.

Villiers left, thinking about his own idea of the Chinese boxes; this was truly unique craftsmanship.

IV
THE DISCOVERY IN PAUL STREET

A few months after Villiers's meeting with Herbert, Mr. Clarke was sitting, as usual, by his after-dinner hearth, resolutely guarding his fancies from wandering in the direction of the bureau. For more than a week he had succeeded in keeping away from the 'Memoirs,' and he cherished hopes of a complete self-reformation; but, in spite of his endeavours, he could not hush the wonder and the strange curiosity that that last case he had written down had excited within him. He had put the case, or rather the outline of it, conjecturally to a scientific friend, who shook his head, and thought Clarke getting queer, and on this particular evening Clarke was making an effort to rationalize the story,[200] when a sudden knock at his door roused him from his meditations.

A few months after Villiers's meeting with Herbert, Mr. Clarke was sitting, as usual, by his after-dinner fireplace, firmly keeping his thoughts from straying toward the bureau. For more than a week, he had managed to stay away from the ‘Memoirs,’ and he held onto hopes of completely turning his life around; but despite his efforts, he couldn’t quiet the wonder and strange curiosity that the last case he had jotted down had stirred in him. He had discussed the case, or at least the summary of it, as a theory with a scientific friend, who shook his head and thought Clarke was acting strangely. On that particular evening, Clarke was trying to make sense of the story,[200] when a sudden knock at his door snapped him out of his thoughts.

'Mr. Villiers to see you, sir.'

'Mr. Villiers is here to see you, sir.'

'Dear me, Villiers, it is very kind of you to look me up; I have not seen you for many months; I should think nearly a year. Come in, come in. And how are you, Villiers? Want any advice about investments?'

'Wow, Villiers, it's really nice of you to stop by; I haven't seen you in quite a while—almost a year, I think. Come on in! How have you been, Villiers? Do you need any advice on investments?'

'No, thanks, I fancy everything I have in that way is pretty safe. No, Clarke, I have really come to consult you about a rather curious matter that has been brought under my notice of late. I am afraid you will think it all rather absurd when I tell my tale. I sometimes think so myself, and that's just why I made up my mind to come to you, as I know you're a practical man.'

'No, thanks, I’m pretty sure everything I have is safe. No, Clarke, I've actually come to talk to you about something kind of strange that I've noticed lately. I'm worried you'll think it’s all pretty ridiculous when I share my story. I sometimes think so myself, and that’s exactly why I decided to come to you since I know you’re a practical guy.'

Mr. Villiers was ignorant of the 'Memoirs to prove the Existence of the Devil.'

Mr. Villiers was unaware of the 'Memoirs to Prove the Existence of the Devil.'

'Well, Villiers, I shall be happy to give you my advice, to the best of my ability. What is the nature of the case?'

'Well, Villiers, I’d be happy to give you my advice, to the best of my ability. What’s the matter?'

'It's an extraordinary thing altogether. You know my ways; I always keep my eyes open in the streets, and in my time I have chanced upon some queer customers, and queer cases too, but this, I think, beats all. I was coming out of a restaurant one nasty winter night about three months ago; I had had a capital dinner and a good bottle of Chianti, and I stood for a moment on the pavement, thinking what a mystery there is about London streets and the companies that pass along them. A bottle of red wine encourages these fancies, Clarke, and I dare say I should have thought a page of small type, but I was cut short by a beggar who had come behind me, and was making the usual appeals.[201] Of course I looked round, and this beggar turned out to be what was left of an old friend of mine, a man named Herbert. I asked him how he had come to such a wretched pass, and he told me. We walked up and down one of those long dark Soho streets, and there I listened to his story. He said he had married a beautiful girl, some years younger than himself, and, as he put it, she had corrupted him body and soul. He wouldn't go into details; he said he dare not, that what he had seen and heard haunted him by night and day, and when I looked in his face I knew he was speaking the truth. There was something about the man that made me shiver. I don't know why, but it was there. I gave him a little money and sent him away, and I assure you that when he was gone I gasped for breath. His presence seemed to chill one's blood.'

'It's truly something else. You know how I am; I always keep an eye out on the streets, and over the years I've come across some strange characters and odd situations, but this one beats them all. About three months ago, I was leaving a restaurant on a miserable winter night. I had a great dinner and a nice bottle of Chianti, and I paused for a moment on the sidewalk, pondering the mystery of the streets of London and the people who walk them. A bottle of red wine does spark those thoughts, Clarke, and I might have thought of a long paragraph, but I was interrupted by a beggar who approached me with his usual pleas.[201] Naturally, I turned around, and to my surprise, this beggar was an old friend of mine named Herbert. I asked him how he ended up in such a terrible state, and he explained. We walked up and down one of those long, dark Soho streets while I listened to his story. He told me he had married a beautiful girl, who was younger than him, and, as he put it, she had corrupted him body and soul. He didn't go into details; he said it would be too much to share, that what he had seen and heard haunted him day and night, and when I looked at his face, I knew he was telling the truth. There was something about him that sent chills down my spine. I'm not sure why, but it was definitely there. I gave him a bit of money and sent him on his way, and I can tell you that once he left, I was gasping for air. His presence felt like it chilled my blood.'

'Isn't all this just a little fanciful, Villiers? I suppose the poor fellow had made an imprudent marriage, and, in plain English, gone to the bad.'

"Isn't all this a bit unrealistic, Villiers? I guess the poor guy married unwisely and, to put it simply, ended up in a bad situation."

'Well, listen to this.' Villiers told Clarke the story he had heard from Austin.

'Well, check this out.' Villiers told Clarke the story he had heard from Austin.

'You see,' he concluded, 'there can be but little doubt that this Mr. Blank, whoever he was, died of sheer terror; he saw something so awful, so terrible, that it cut short his life. And what he saw, he most certainly saw in that house, which, somehow or other, had got a bad name in the neighbourhood. I had the curiosity to go and look at the place for myself. It's a saddening kind of street; the houses are old enough to be mean and dreary, but not old enough to be quaint. As far as I could see most of them are let in lodgings, furnished and unfurnished, and almost every door has three bells to it. Here and there the ground floors[202] have been made into shops of the commonest kind; it's a dismal street in every way. I found Number 20 was to let, and I went to the agent's and got the key. Of course I should have heard nothing of the Herberts in that quarter, but I asked the man, fair and square, how long they had left the house, and whether there had been other tenants in the meanwhile. He looked at me queerly for a minute, and told me the Herberts had left immediately after the unpleasantness, as he called it, and since then the house had been empty.'

'You see,' he concluded, 'there's little doubt that this Mr. Blank, whoever he was, died of pure terror; he witnessed something so horrible, so terrifying, that it took his life away. And what he saw, he definitely saw in that house, which, for some reason, had gained a bad reputation in the neighborhood. I was curious enough to check the place out myself. It's a pretty sad street; the houses are old enough to be shabby and lifeless, but not old enough to be charming. From what I could tell, most of them are rented out as rooms, both furnished and unfurnished, and almost every door has three doorbells. Here and there, the ground floors[202] have been turned into the most basic kind of shops; it's a gloomy street in every way. I found that Number 20 was available to rent, so I went to the agent and got the key. Of course, I wouldn’t have heard anything about the Herberts in that area, but I asked the guy directly how long they had left the house and if there had been any other tenants since. He looked at me oddly for a moment and told me the Herberts had left right after what he called 'the unpleasantness,' and since then the house had been empty.'

Mr. Villiers paused for a moment.

Mr. Villiers paused for a moment.

'I have always been rather fond of going over empty houses; there's a sort of fascination about the desolate empty rooms, with the nails sticking in the walls, and the dust thick upon the window-sills. But I didn't enjoy going over Number 20, Paul Street. I had hardly put my foot inside the passage before I noticed a queer, heavy feeling about the air of the house. Of course all empty houses are stuffy, and so forth, but this was something quite different; I can't describe it to you, but it seemed to stop the breath. I went into the front room and the back room, and the kitchens downstairs; they were all dirty and dusty enough, as you would expect, but there was something strange about them all. I couldn't define it to you, I only know I felt queer. It was one of the rooms on the first floor, though, that was the worst. It was a largish room, and once on a time the paper must have been cheerful enough, but when I saw it, paint, paper, and everything were most doleful. But the room was full of horror; I felt my teeth grinding as I put my hand on the door, and when I went in, I thought I should have fallen fainting to the floor. However, I pulled[203] myself together, and stood against the end wall, wondering what on earth there could be about the room to make my limbs tremble, and my heart beat as if I were at the hour of death. In one corner there was a pile of newspapers littered about on the floor, and I began looking at them; they were papers of three or four years ago, some of them half torn, and some crumpled as if they had been used for packing. I turned the whole pile over, and amongst them I found a curious drawing; I will show it you presently. But I couldn't stay in the room; I felt it was overpowering me. I was thankful to come out, safe and sound, into the open air. People stared at me as I walked along the street, and one man said I was drunk. I was staggering about from one side of the pavement to the other, and it was as much as I could do to take the key back to the agent and get home. I was in bed for a week, suffering from what my doctor called nervous shock and exhaustion. One of those days I was reading the evening paper, and happened to notice a paragraph headed: "Starved to Death." It was the usual style of thing; a model lodging-house in Marylebone, a door locked for several days, and a dead man in his chair when they broke in. "The deceased," said the paragraph, "was known as Charles Herbert, and is believed to have been once a prosperous country gentleman. His name was familiar to the public three years ago in connection with the mysterious death in Paul Street, Tottenham Court Road, the deceased being the tenant of the house Number 20, in the area of which a gentleman of good position was found dead under circumstances not devoid of suspicion." A tragic ending, wasn't it? But after all, if what he told me were[204] true, which I am sure it was, the man's life was all a tragedy, and a tragedy of a stranger sort than they put on the boards.'

'I’ve always had a kind of fascination with exploring empty houses; there’s something intriguing about the desolate, vacant rooms, with nails sticking out of the walls and dust thick on the window sills. But I didn’t enjoy going into Number 20, Paul Street. I had barely stepped into the hallway before I noticed a strange, heavy atmosphere in the house. Sure, all empty houses feel stuffy and all that, but this was something completely different; I can’t explain it, but it seemed to take my breath away. I checked out the front room and the back room, as well as the kitchens downstairs; they were all dirty and dusty, as you’d expect, but there was something unsettling about them. I can’t put my finger on it, I just felt odd. The worst, though, was one of the rooms on the first floor. It was a fairly large room, and once upon a time, the wallpaper must have been cheerful enough, but by the time I saw it, everything—paint, wallpaper, all of it—looked incredibly dreary. But the room was full of dread; I felt my teeth clenching as I touched the door, and when I stepped inside, I thought I might faint. Still, I pulled myself together and leaned against the wall, wondering what on earth was making my limbs shake and my heart pound as if it were the end of my life. In one corner, there was a pile of newspapers scattered on the floor, and I started looking through them; they were papers from three or four years back, some of them half torn and others crumpled like they’d been used for packing. I flipped through the entire pile, and among them, I found a strange drawing; I’ll show it to you later. But I couldn’t stay in that room; it felt like it was overwhelming me. I was relieved to step outside into fresh air. People stared at me as I walked down the street, and one guy said I looked drunk. I was weaving from one side of the pavement to the other, and it took everything in me to return the key to the agent and get home. I was in bed for a week, dealing with what my doctor called nervous shock and exhaustion. One of those days, I was reading the evening paper and noticed a headline that read: "Starved to Death." It was the usual story; a model lodging house in Marylebone, a door locked for several days, and a dead man discovered in his chair when they finally broke in. "The deceased," the article stated, "was known as Charles Herbert, believed to have once been a successful country gentleman. His name became familiar to the public three years ago in connection with the mysterious death on Paul Street, Tottenham Court Road, where the deceased was the tenant of Number 20, in the area of which a respectable gentleman was found dead under suspicious circumstances." A tragic end, wasn’t it? But honestly, if what he told me was true, which I’m certain it was, the man’s life was nothing but a tragedy, and a stranger kind of tragedy than they show in plays.'

'And that is the story, is it?' said Clarke musingly.

"And that's the story, right?" Clarke said thoughtfully.

'Yes, that is the story.'

'Yeah, that's the story.'

'Well, really, Villiers, I scarcely know what to say about it. There are, no doubt, circumstances in the case which seem peculiar, the finding of the dead man in the area of Herbert's house, for instance, and the extraordinary opinion of the physician as to the cause of death; but, after all, it is conceivable that the facts may be explained in a straightforward manner. As to your own sensations, when you went to see the house, I would suggest that they were due to a vivid imagination; you must have been brooding, in a semiconscious way, over what you had heard. I don't exactly see what more can be said or done in the matter; you evidently think there is a mystery of some kind, but Herbert is dead; where then do you propose to look?'

'Well, honestly, Villiers, I'm not sure what to say about it. There are definitely some strange circumstances, like finding the dead man near Herbert's house and the doctor's unusual opinion on the cause of death. However, it's also possible that the facts can be explained in a simple way. As for how you felt when you visited the house, I suggest that it was just your active imagination; you were probably thinking about what you'd heard in a kind of daydream. I don't really see what else can be said or done regarding this case. You seem to believe there's some sort of mystery, but Herbert is dead; where do you think we should look now?'

'I propose to look for the woman; the woman whom he married. She is the mystery.'

'I propose to search for the woman; the woman he married. She is the mystery.'

The two men sat silent by the fireside; Clarke secretly congratulating himself on having successfully kept up the character of advocate of the commonplace, and Villiers wrapt in his gloomy fancies.

The two men sat quietly by the fire; Clarke secretly congratulating himself on successfully maintaining the role of defender of the ordinary, while Villiers was lost in his dark thoughts.

'I think I will have a cigarette,' he said at last, and put his hand in his pocket to feel for the cigarette-case.

'I think I'll have a cigarette,' he said finally, and reached into his pocket to grab the cigarette case.

'Ah!' he said, starting slightly, 'I forgot I had something to show you. You remember my saying that I had found a rather curious sketch amongst the pile of old newspapers at the house in Paul Street? Here it is.'[205]

'Oh!' he said, jumping a bit, 'I completely forgot I had something to show you. Do you remember me mentioning that I found a pretty interesting sketch in the stack of old newspapers at the house on Paul Street? Here it is.'[205]

Villiers drew out a small thin parcel from his pocket. It was covered with brown paper, and secured with string, and the knots were troublesome. In spite of himself Clarke felt inquisitive; he bent forward on his chair as Villiers painfully undid the string, and unfolded the outer covering. Inside was a second wrapping of tissue, and Villiers took it off and handed the small piece of paper to Clarke without a word.

Villiers pulled a small, thin package out of his pocket. It was wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, and the knots were annoying. Despite himself, Clarke felt curious; he leaned forward in his chair as Villiers struggled to undo the string and unwrap the outer layer. Inside was another layer of tissue, which Villiers removed and handed the small piece of paper to Clarke without saying a word.

There was dead silence in the room for five minutes or more; the two men sat so still that they could hear the ticking of the tall old-fashioned clock that stood outside in the hall, and in the mind of one of them the slow monotony of sound woke up a far, far memory. He was looking intently at the small pen-and-ink sketch of the woman's head; it had evidently been drawn with great care, and by a true artist, for the woman's soul looked out of the eyes, and the lips were parted with a strange smile. Clarke gazed still at the face; it brought to his memory one summer evening long ago; he saw again the long lovely valley, the river winding between the hills, the meadows and the cornfields, the dull red sun, and the cold white mist rising from the water. He heard a voice speaking to him across the waves of many years, and saying, 'Clarke, Mary will see the God Pan!' and then he was standing in the grim room beside the doctor, listening to the heavy ticking of the clock, waiting and watching, watching the figure lying on the green chair beneath the lamplight. Mary rose up, and he looked into her eyes, and his heart grew cold within him.

There was complete silence in the room for five minutes or more; the two men sat so still that they could hear the ticking of the tall old-fashioned clock in the hall, and in one of their minds, the slow, monotonous sound stirred a distant memory. He was focused intently on the small pen-and-ink sketch of the woman's head; it had clearly been drawn with great care, and by a real artist, because the woman's soul seemed to shine through her eyes, and her lips were parted in a strange smile. Clarke continued to gaze at the face; it reminded him of a summer evening long ago; he could see the beautiful long valley, the river winding between the hills, the meadows and cornfields, the dull red sun, and the cold white mist rising from the water. He heard a voice calling to him from across the waves of many years, saying, 'Clarke, Mary will see the God Pan!' Then he found himself standing in the grim room beside the doctor, listening to the heavy ticking of the clock, waiting and watching, observing the figure lying on the green chair beneath the lamp's light. Mary rose, and he looked into her eyes, and his heart grew cold within him.

'Who is this woman?' he said at last. His voice was dry and hoarse.[206]

'Who is this woman?' he finally asked. His voice was dry and raspy.[206]

'That is the woman whom Herbert married.'

'That is the woman Herbert married.'

Clarke looked again at the sketch; it was not Mary after all. There certainly was Mary's face, but there was something else, something he had not seen on Mary's features when the white-clad girl entered the laboratory with the doctor, nor at her terrible awakening, nor when she lay grinning on the bed. Whatever it was, the glance that came from those eyes, the smile on the full lips, or the expression of the whole face, Clarke shuddered before it in his inmost soul, and thought, unconsciously, of Dr. Phillips's words, 'the most vivid presentment of evil I have ever seen.' He turned the paper over mechanically in his hand and glanced at the back.

Clarke looked again at the sketch; it wasn't Mary after all. There was definitely Mary's face, but there was something else—something he hadn't noticed in Mary's features when the girl in white entered the lab with the doctor, nor during her horrifying awakening, nor when she lay grinning on the bed. Whatever it was, the look in those eyes, the smile on the full lips, or the expression on the whole face made Clarke shudder deep inside, and he unconsciously recalled Dr. Phillips's words, 'the most vivid representation of evil I have ever seen.' He turned the paper over automatically in his hand and glanced at the back.

'Good God! Clarke, what is the matter? You are as white as death.'

'Oh my God! Clarke, what's wrong? You look as pale as a ghost.'

Villiers had started wildly from his chair, as Clarke fell back with a groan, and let the paper drop from his hands.

Villiers jumped up from his chair in a panic as Clarke slumped back with a groan and let the paper fall from his hands.

'I don't feel very well, Villiers, I am subject to these attacks. Pour me out a little wine; thanks, that will do. I shall feel better in a few minutes.'

'I don’t feel very well, Villiers; I sometimes have these attacks. Pour me a bit of wine; thanks, that’s enough. I’ll feel better in a few minutes.'

Villiers picked up the fallen sketch and turned it over as Clarke had done.

Villiers picked up the fallen sketch and turned it over just like Clarke had.

'You saw that?' he said. 'That's how I identified it as being a portrait of Herbert's wife, or I should say his widow. How do you feel now?'

"You saw that?" he said. "That's how I recognized it as a portrait of Herbert's wife, or rather, his widow. How do you feel about it now?"

'Better, thanks, it was only a passing faintness. I don't think I quite catch your meaning. What did you say enabled you to identify the picture?'

'I'm feeling better, thanks. It was just a brief moment of dizziness. I don't think I fully understand what you mean. What did you say helped you recognize the picture?'

'This word—"Helen"—written on the back. Didn't I tell you her name was Helen? Yes; Helen Vaughan.'[207]

'This word—"Helen"—written on the back. Didn't I say her name was Helen? Yeah; Helen Vaughan.'[207]

Clarke groaned; there could be no shadow of doubt.

Clarke groaned; there was no doubt about it.

'Now, don't you agree with me,' said Villiers, 'that in the story I have told you to-night, and in the part this woman plays in it, there are some very strange points?'

'Now, don’t you agree with me,' said Villiers, 'that in the story I told you tonight, and in the role this woman plays in it, there are some very strange aspects?'

'Yes, Villiers,' Clarke muttered, 'it is a strange story indeed; a strange story indeed. You must give me time to think it over; I may be able to help you or I may not. Must you be going now? Well, good-night, Villiers, good-night. Come and see me in the course of a week.'

'Yeah, Villiers,' Clarke said quietly, 'it's definitely a strange story; really strange. You need to give me some time to think about it; I might be able to help you or maybe I can't. Do you have to leave now? Well, goodnight, Villiers, goodnight. Stop by and see me in about a week.'

V
THE LETTER OF ADVICE

'Do you know, Austin,' said Villiers, as the two friends were pacing sedately along Piccadilly one pleasant morning in May, 'do you know I am convinced that what you told me about Paul Street and the Herberts is a mere episode in an extraordinary history? I may as well confess to you that when I asked you about Herbert a few months ago I had just seen him.'

'Do you know, Austin,' said Villiers, as the two friends were walking calmly along Piccadilly one nice morning in May, 'do you know I’m convinced that what you told me about Paul Street and the Herberts is just a small part of an incredible story? I should admit to you that when I asked you about Herbert a few months ago, I had just seen him.'

'You had seen him? Where?'

'You saw him? Where?'

'He begged of me in the street one night. He was in the most pitiable plight, but I recognized the man, and I got him to tell me his history, or at least the outline of it. In brief, it amounted to this—he had been ruined by his wife.'

'He asked me for help in the street one night. He was in a really desperate situation, but I recognized him, and I got him to share his story, or at least a summary of it. In short, it came down to this—his wife had caused his downfall.'

'In what manner?'

'How?'

'He would not tell me; he would only say that she had destroyed him, body and soul. The man is dead now.'

'He wouldn’t tell me; he just kept saying that she had ruined him, body and soul. The man is dead now.'

'And what has become of his wife?'[208]

'And what happened to his wife?'[208]

'Ah, that's what I should like to know, and I mean to find her sooner or later. I know a man named Clarke, a dry fellow, in fact a man of business, but shrewd enough. You understand my meaning; not shrewd in the mere business sense of the word, but a man who really knows something about men and life. Well, I laid the case before him, and he was evidently impressed. He said it needed consideration, and asked me to come again in the course of a week. A few days later I received this extraordinary letter.'

'Oh, that's what I'd really like to know, and I'm determined to find her eventually. I know a guy named Clarke, a pretty serious dude, basically a businessman, but sharp enough. You get what I mean; not just sharp in the typical business way, but someone who genuinely understands people and life. So, I explained the situation to him, and he was clearly interested. He said it required some thought and asked me to come back in about a week. A few days later, I got this incredible letter.'

Austin took the envelope, drew out the letter, and read it curiously. It ran as follows:—

Austin opened the envelope, pulled out the letter, and read it with interest. It said:—

'My dear Villiers,—I have thought over the matter on which you consulted me the other night, and my advice to you is this. Throw the portrait into the fire, blot out the story from your mind. Never give it another thought, Villiers, or you will be sorry. You will think, no doubt, that I am in possession of some secret information, and to a certain extent that is the case. But I only know a little; I am like a traveller who has peered over an abyss, and has drawn back in terror. What I know is strange enough and horrible enough, but beyond my knowledge there are depths and horrors more frightful still, more incredible than any tale told of winter nights about the fire. I have resolved, and nothing shall shake that resolve, to explore no whit farther, and if you value your happiness you will make the same determination.

'Dear Villiers,—I've thought about what you asked me the other night, and my advice is this: throw the portrait in the fire, erase the story from your mind. Don't give it another thought, Villiers, or you’ll regret it. You might think I have some secret knowledge, and to some extent, that’s true. But I only know a bit; I'm like a traveler who has looked into an abyss and recoiled in fear. What I know is strange and horrifying enough, but beyond my knowledge, there are even deeper and more terrifying horrors, more unbelievable than any story told on winter nights by the fire. I’ve made a decision, and nothing will change it: I won't explore any further. If you care about your happiness, you should make the same choice.'

'Come and see me by all means; but we will talk on more cheerful topics than this.'

'Feel free to come see me; but let’s talk about happier things than this.'

Austin folded the letter methodically, and returned it to Villiers.[209]

Austin folded the letter carefully and handed it back to Villiers.[209]

'It is certainly an extraordinary letter,' he said; 'what does he mean by the portrait?'

'It's definitely an amazing letter,' he said; 'what does he mean by the portrait?'

'Ah! I forgot to tell you I have been to Paul Street and have made a discovery.'

'Oh! I forgot to mention that I went to Paul Street and made a discovery.'

Villiers told his story as he had told it to Clarke, and Austin listened in silence. He seemed puzzled.

Villiers shared his story just like he had with Clarke, and Austin listened quietly. He looked confused.

'How very curious that you should experience such an unpleasant sensation in that room!' he said at length. 'I hardly gather that it was a mere matter of the imagination; a feeling of repulsion, in short.'

'How strange that you should feel such an unpleasant sensation in that room!' he eventually said. 'I barely think it was just your imagination; it's more like a feeling of repulsion, to be honest.'

'No, it was more physical than mental. It was as if I were inhaling at every breath some deadly fume, which seemed to penetrate to every nerve and bone and sinew of my body. I felt racked from head to foot, my eyes began to grow dim; it was like the entrance of death.'

'No, it was more physical than mental. It felt like I was inhaling some toxic gas with every breath, and it seemed to seep into every nerve, bone, and muscle in my body. I felt tortured from head to toe, my vision started to blur; it was like I was facing death.'

'Yes, yes, very strange, certainly. You see, your friend confesses that there is some very black story connected with this woman. Did you notice any particular emotion in him when you were telling your tale?'

'Yes, yes, very strange, for sure. You see, your friend admits that there's a very dark story linked to this woman. Did you pick up on any specific emotion from him while you were sharing your story?'

'Yes, I did. He became very faint, but he assured me that it was a mere passing attack to which he was subject.'

'Yes, I did. He got really weak, but he promised me that it was just a temporary issue he was dealing with.'

'Did you believe him?'

"Did you trust him?"

'I did at the time, but I don't now. He heard what I had to say with a good deal of indifference, till I showed him the portrait. It was then he was seized with the attack of which I spoke. He looked ghastly, I assure you.'

'I did at the time, but I don't now. He listened to what I had to say with a lot of indifference until I showed him the portrait. That’s when he was hit with the shock I mentioned. He looked awful, I assure you.'

'Then he must have seen the woman before. But there might be another explanation; it might have been the name, and not the face, which was familiar to him. What do you think?'[210]

'Then he must have seen the woman before. But there might be another explanation; it could have been the name, and not the face, that was familiar to him. What do you think?'[210]

'I couldn't say. To the best of my belief it was after turning the portrait in his hands that he nearly dropped from his chair. The name, you know, was written on the back.'

'I couldn't say. As far as I remember, it was after he turned the portrait in his hands that he almost fell out of his chair. The name, you know, was written on the back.'

'Quite so. After all, it is impossible to come to any resolution in a case like this. I hate melodrama, and nothing strikes me as more commonplace and tedious than the ordinary ghost story of commerce; but really, Villiers, it looks as if there were something very queer at the bottom of all this.'

'Absolutely. After all, it’s impossible to reach any conclusion in a situation like this. I can’t stand melodrama, and nothing seems more ordinary and boring than a typical ghost story about business; but honestly, Villiers, it feels like there’s something really strange going on beneath all this.'

The two men had, without noticing it, turned up Ashley Street, leading northward from Piccadilly. It was a long street, and rather a gloomy one, but here and there a brighter taste had illuminated the dark houses with flowers, and gay curtains, and a cheerful paint on the doors. Villiers glanced up as Austin stopped speaking, and looked at one of these houses; geraniums, red and white, drooped from every sill, and daffodil-coloured curtains were draped back from each window.

The two men had, without realizing it, turned onto Ashley Street, which goes north from Piccadilly. It was a long and somewhat gloomy street, but now and then, a brighter touch had brightened up the dark houses with flowers, colorful curtains, and cheerful paint on the doors. Villiers looked up as Austin stopped talking and gazed at one of these houses; geraniums in red and white hung from every windowsill, and yellow curtains were pulled back from each window.

'It looks cheerful, doesn't it?' he said.

"It looks bright and cheerful, doesn't it?" he said.

'Yes, and the inside is still more cheery. One of the pleasantest houses of the season, so I have heard. I haven't been there myself, but I've met several men who have, and they tell me it's uncommonly jovial.'

'Yes, and the inside is even more cheerful. It’s one of the nicest houses of the season, or so I've heard. I haven't been there myself, but I've talked to several guys who have, and they say it's exceptionally lively.'

'Whose house is it?'

'Whose house is this?'

'A Mrs. Beaumont's.'

'Mrs. Beaumont's.'

'And who is she?'

'And who is she?'

'I couldn't tell you. I have heard she comes from South America, but, after all, who she is is of little consequence. She is a very wealthy woman, there's no doubt of that, and some of the best people have taken her up. I hear she has some wonderful claret, really[211] marvellous wine, which must have cost a fabulous sum. Lord Argentine was telling me about it; he was there last Sunday evening. He assures me he has never tasted such a wine, and Argentine, as you know, is an expert. By the way, that reminds me, she must be an oddish sort of woman, this Mrs. Beaumont. Argentine asked her how old the wine was, and what do you think she said? "About a thousand years, I believe." Lord Argentine thought she was chaffing him, you know, but when he laughed she said she was speaking quite seriously, and offered to show him the jar. Of course, he couldn't say anything more after that; but it seems rather antiquated for a beverage, doesn't it? Why, here we are at my rooms. Come in, won't you?'

'I can't really say. I’ve heard she’s from South America, but honestly, who she is doesn’t matter much. She's definitely very rich, that’s for sure, and some prominent people have taken an interest in her. I’ve heard she has some amazing claret, really fabulous wine, which must have cost a fortune. Lord Argentine was telling me about it; he was there last Sunday evening. He insists he’s never tasted anything like it, and Argentine, as you know, is an expert. Speaking of which, it occurs to me that Mrs. Beaumont must be a bit of an odd woman. Argentine asked her how old the wine was, and guess what she said? "About a thousand years, I believe." Lord Argentine thought she was joking, but when he laughed, she said she was being completely serious and offered to show him the jar. Of course, he couldn't say anything after that; but it does seem a bit old for a drink, doesn’t it? Anyway, here we are at my place. Come on in, won’t you?'

'Thanks, I think I will. I haven't seen the curiosity-shop for some time.'

'Thanks, I think I will. I haven't checked out the curiosity shop in a while.'

It was a room furnished richly, yet oddly, where every chair and bookcase and table, and every rug and jar and ornament seemed to be a thing apart, preserving each its own individuality.

It was a room filled with rich furnishings, but strangely, where every chair, bookcase, table, rug, jar, and ornament seemed to stand out on its own, maintaining its own uniqueness.

'Anything fresh lately?' said Villiers after a while.

'Anything new lately?' said Villiers after a while.

'No; I think not; you saw those queer jugs, didn't you? I thought so. I don't think I have come across anything for the last few weeks.'

'No; I don’t think so; you saw those weird jugs, right? I thought so. I don’t think I’ve come across anything for the last few weeks.'

Austin glanced round the room from cupboard to cupboard, from shelf to shelf, in search of some new oddity. His eyes fell at last on an old chest, pleasantly and quaintly carved, which stood in a dark corner of the room.

Austin looked around the room from cupboard to cupboard, from shelf to shelf, searching for something new and unusual. His gaze finally landed on an old chest, nicely and uniquely carved, sitting in a dark corner of the room.

'Ah,' he said, 'I was forgetting, I have got something to show you.' Austin unlocked the chest, drew out a thick quarto volume, laid it on the table, and resumed the cigar he had put down.[212]

'Oh,' he said, 'I almost forgot, I have something to show you.' Austin unlocked the chest, pulled out a thick quarto book, placed it on the table, and picked up the cigar he had set down.[212]

'Did you know Arthur Meyrick the painter, Villiers?'

'Did you know Arthur Meyrick, the painter, Villiers?'

'A little; I met him two or three times at the house of a friend of mine. What has become of him? I haven't heard his name mentioned for some time.'

'A little; I met him two or three times at a friend's house. What happened to him? I haven't heard his name in a while.'

'He's dead.'

'He’s passed away.'

'You don't say so! Quite young, wasn't he?'

'You don't say! He was pretty young, wasn't he?'

'Yes; only thirty when he died.'

'Yeah; he was only thirty when he died.'

'What did he die of?'

'What did he die from?'

'I don't know. He was an intimate friend of mine, and a thoroughly good fellow. He used to come here and talk to me for hours, and he was one of the best talkers I have met. He could even talk about painting, and that's more than can be said of most painters. About eighteen months ago he was feeling rather overworked, and partly at my suggestion he went off on a sort of roving expedition, with no very definite end or aim about it. I believe New York was to be his first port, but I never heard from him. Three months ago I got this book, with a very civil letter from an English doctor practising at Buenos Ayres, stating that he had attended the late Mr. Meyrick during his illness, and that the deceased had expressed an earnest wish that the enclosed packet should be sent to me after his death. That was all.'

'I don’t know. He was a close friend of mine and a really good guy. He used to come here and talk to me for hours, and he was one of the best conversationalists I’ve met. He could even discuss painting, which is more than you can say for most painters. About eighteen months ago, he was feeling pretty overwhelmed, and partly at my suggestion, he went on a kind of adventure with no clear destination or purpose. I think New York was going to be his first stop, but I never heard from him. Three months ago, I received this book, along with a polite letter from an English doctor practicing in Buenos Aires, saying that he had taken care of the late Mr. Meyrick during his illness and that the deceased had expressed a strong desire for the enclosed package to be sent to me after his death. That was all.'

'And haven't you written for further particulars?'

'And haven't you asked for more details?'

'I have been thinking of doing so. You would advise me to write to the doctor?'

'I’ve been thinking about it. Do you think I should write to the doctor?'

'Certainly. And what about the book?'

'Sure. And what about the book?'

'It was sealed up when I got it. I don't think the doctor had seen it.'

'It was sealed when I received it. I don’t think the doctor had looked at it.'

'It is something very rare? Meyrick was a collector, perhaps?'[213]

'Is it something very rare? Was Meyrick a collector, maybe?'[213]

'No, I think not, hardly a collector. Now, what do you think of those Ainu jugs?'

'No, I don't think so, hardly a collector. So, what do you think of those Ainu jugs?'

'They are peculiar, but I like them. But aren't you going to show me poor Meyrick's legacy?'

'They are unusual, but I like them. Aren't you going to show me poor Meyrick's legacy?'

'Yes, yes, to be sure. The fact is, it's rather a peculiar sort of thing, and I haven't shown it to any one. I wouldn't say anything about it if I were you. There it is.'

'Yes, yes, definitely. The truth is, it's quite an odd thing, and I haven't shown it to anyone. I wouldn't mention it if I were you. There it is.'

Villiers took the book, and opened it at haphazard.

Villiers picked up the book and opened it randomly.

'It isn't a printed volume then?' he said.

'So it's not a printed book then?' he said.

'No. It is a collection of drawings in black and white by my poor friend Meyrick.'

'No. It's a collection of black and white drawings by my friend Meyrick, who is struggling.'

Villiers turned to the first page, it was blank; the second bore a brief inscription, which he read:

Villiers turned to the first page; it was blank. The second page had a short inscription, which he read:

Silet per diem universus, nec sine horrore secretus est; lucet nocturnis ignibus, chorus Ægipanum undique personatur: audiuntur et cantus tibiarum, et tinnitus cymbalorum per oram maritimam.

The whole world is silent during the day, and it's not without fear that it's kept secret; it shines with nighttime fires, the chorus of the Aegipan is heard from all around: you can hear the songs of the pipes and the ringing of cymbals along the coastline.

On the third page was a design which made Villiers start and look up at Austin; he was gazing abstractedly out of the window. Villiers turned page after page, absorbed, in spite of himself, in the frightful Walpurgis Night of evil, strange monstrous evil, that the dead artist had set forth in hard black and white. The figures of Fauns and Satyrs and Ægipans danced before his eyes, the darkness of the thicket, the dance on the mountain-top, the scenes by lonely shores, in green vineyards, by rocks and desert places, passed before him: a world before which the human soul seemed to shrink back and shudder. Villiers whirled over the remaining pages; he had seen enough, but the picture on the[214] last leaf caught his eye, as he almost closed the book.

On the third page was a design that made Villiers pause and look up at Austin, who was staring blankly out of the window. Villiers flipped through the pages, captivated despite himself, by the terrifying Walpurgis Night of evil, a bizarre and monstrous darkness that the deceased artist had portrayed in stark black and white. Images of Fauns, Satyrs, and Ægipans danced in front of his eyes; the shadows of the thicket, the dance atop the mountain, scenes by desolate shores, in lush vineyards, by rocks and arid landscapes flashed before him: a realm that seemed to make the human soul recoil in fear. Villiers hurried through the remaining pages; he had seen enough, but the image on the[214] last page caught his attention just as he was about to close the book.

'Austin!'

'Austin!'

'Well, what is it?'

'So, what is it?'

'Do you know who that is?'

'Do you know who that is?'

It was a woman's face, alone on the white page.

It was a woman's face, standing out on the blank page.

'Know who it is? No, of course not.'

'Do you know who it is? No, of course not.'

'I do.'

"I do."

'Who is it?'

'Who is this?'

'It is Mrs. Herbert.'

"It's Mrs. Herbert."

'Are you sure?'

'Are you certain?'

'I am perfectly certain of it. Poor Meyrick! He is one more chapter in her history.'

'I am completely sure of it. Poor Meyrick! He’s just another chapter in her story.'

'But what do you think of the designs?'

'But what do you think of the designs?'

'They are frightful. Lock the book up again, Austin. If I were you I would burn it; it must be a terrible companion even though it be in a chest.'

'They are terrifying. Lock the book up again, Austin. If I were you, I would burn it; it must be an awful companion even if it's in a chest.'

'Yes, they are singular drawings. But I wonder what connection there could be between Meyrick and Mrs. Herbert, or what link between her and these designs?'

'Yes, they are unique drawings. But I wonder what connection there could be between Meyrick and Mrs. Herbert, or what link there is between her and these designs?'

'Ah, who can say? It is possible that the matter may end here, and we shall never know, but in my own opinion this Helen Vaughan, or Mrs. Herbert, is only the beginning. She will come back to London, Austin; depend upon it, she will come back, and we shall hear more about her then. I don't think it will be very pleasant news.'

'Ah, who knows? It’s possible that this will be the end of it, and we might never find out, but in my opinion, this Helen Vaughan, or Mrs. Herbert, is just the start. She’ll return to London, Austin; count on it, she’ll come back, and we’ll hear more about her then. I don’t think it will be good news.'

VI
THE SUICIDES

Lord Argentine was a great favourite in London Society. At twenty he had been a poor man, decked[215] with the surname of an illustrious family, but forced to earn a livelihood as best he could, and the most speculative of money-lenders would not have entrusted him with fifty pounds on the chance of his ever changing his name for a title, and his poverty for a great fortune. His father had been near enough to the fountain of good things to secure one of the family livings, but the son, even if he had taken orders, would scarcely have obtained so much as this, and moreover felt no vocation for the ecclesiastical estate. Thus he fronted the world with no better armour than the bachelor's gown and the wits of a younger son's grandson, with which equipment he contrived in some way to make a very tolerable fight of it. At twenty-five Mr. Charles Aubernoun saw himself still a man of struggles and of warfare with the world, but out of the seven who stood between him and the high places of his family three only remained. These three, however, were 'good lives,' but yet not proof against the Zulu assegais and typhoid fever, and so one morning Aubernoun woke up and found himself Lord Argentine, a man of thirty who had faced the difficulties of existence, and had conquered. The situation amused him immensely, and he resolved that riches should be as pleasant to him as poverty had always been. Argentine, after some little consideration, came to the conclusion that dining, regarded as a fine art, was perhaps the most amusing pursuit open to fallen humanity, and thus his dinners became famous in London, and an invitation to his table a thing covetously desired. After ten years of lordship and dinners Argentine still declined to be jaded, still persisted in enjoying life, and by a kind of infection had become recognized as[216] the cause of joy in others, in short, as the best of company. His sudden and tragical death therefore caused a wide and deep sensation. People could scarce believe it, even though the newspaper was before their eyes, and the cry of 'Mysterious Death of a Nobleman' came ringing up from the street. But there stood the brief paragraph: 'Lord Argentine was found dead this morning by his valet under distressing circumstances. It is stated that there can be no doubt that his lordship committed suicide, though no motive can be assigned for the act. The deceased nobleman was widely known in society, and much liked for his genial manner and sumptuous hospitality. He is succeeded by,' etc., etc.

Lord Argentine was a big favorite in London society. At twenty, he had been a poor man, carrying the name of a prominent family but struggling to make a living. Even the most daring money-lenders wouldn't have lent him fifty pounds hoping he'd swap his name for a title and his poverty for wealth. His father had been close enough to the source of wealth to secure one of the family positions, but the son, even if he had pursued a religious career, would have hardly gotten even that, and besides, he had no calling for church life. So, he faced the world with nothing more than a bachelor's gown and the cleverness of a younger son's grandson, which somehow enabled him to manage a decent life. By the time he was twenty-five, Mr. Charles Aubernoun still saw himself as a man fighting to overcome life's challenges, but out of the seven people standing between him and the family's high status, only three remained. These three were in good health, yet not safe from Zulu spears and typhoid fever. One morning, Aubernoun woke up and found himself Lord Argentine, a thirty-year-old who had tackled life's challenges and emerged victorious. He found the situation incredibly amusing and decided that wealth should be just as enjoyable for him as poverty had always been. After some thought, Argentine concluded that dining, regarded as an art form, was perhaps the most entertaining activity available to humanity, so his dinners became famous in London, making an invitation to his table highly sought after. After ten years of being a lord and hosting dinners, Argentine still showed no signs of boredom, continued to embrace life, and had somehow become known as the source of joy for others, basically the best company. Therefore, his sudden and tragic death made a significant impact. People could hardly believe it, even with the newspaper in front of them, and the headline 'Mysterious Death of a Nobleman' could be heard in the street. But there was the brief paragraph: 'Lord Argentine was found dead this morning by his valet under distressing circumstances. It is reported that there is no doubt his lordship committed suicide, though no motive can be identified for the act. The deceased nobleman was well-known in society and much appreciated for his friendly nature and lavish hospitality. He is succeeded by,' etc., etc.

By slow degrees the details came to light, but the case still remained a mystery. The chief witness at the inquest was the dead nobleman's valet, who said that the night before his death Lord Argentine had dined with a lady of good position, whose name was suppressed in the newspaper reports. At about eleven o'clock Lord Argentine had returned, and informed his man that he should not require his services till the next morning. A little later the valet had occasion to cross the hall and was somewhat astonished to see his master quietly letting himself out at the front door. He had taken off his evening clothes, and was dressed in a Norfolk coat and knickerbockers, and wore a low brown hat. The valet had no reason to suppose that Lord Argentine had seen him, and though his master rarely kept late hours, thought little of the occurrence till the next morning, when he knocked at the bedroom door at a quarter to nine as usual. He received no answer, and, after knocking two or three[217] times, entered the room, and saw Lord Argentine's body leaning forward at an angle from the bottom of the bed. He found that his master had tied a cord securely to one of the short bed-posts, and, after making a running noose and slipping it round his neck, the unfortunate man must have resolutely fallen forward, to die by slow strangulation. He was dressed in the light suit in which the valet had seen him go out, and the doctor who was summoned pronounced that life had been extinct for more than four hours. All papers, letters, and so forth seemed in perfect order, and nothing was discovered which pointed in the most remote way to any scandal either great or small. Here the evidence ended; nothing more could be discovered. Several persons had been present at the dinner-party at which Lord Argentine had assisted, and to all these he seemed in his usual genial spirits. The valet, indeed, said he thought his master appeared a little excited when he came home, but he confessed that the alteration in his manner was very slight, hardly noticeable, indeed. It seemed hopeless to seek for any clue, and the suggestion that Lord Argentine had been suddenly attacked by acute suicidal mania was generally accepted.

Slowly, the details started to emerge, but the case remained a mystery. The main witness at the inquest was the dead nobleman's valet, who stated that the night before his death, Lord Argentine had dined with a well-regarded woman, whose name was kept out of the newspaper reports. Around eleven o'clock, Lord Argentine returned home and told his valet that he wouldn’t need him until the next morning. A bit later, the valet had to cross the hall and was surprised to see his master quietly letting himself out the front door. He had changed out of his evening clothes and was dressed in a Norfolk jacket and knickers, along with a low brown hat. The valet didn’t think Lord Argentine had seen him, and since his master rarely stayed out late, he thought little of it until the next morning when he knocked on the bedroom door at a quarter to nine, as usual. There was no response, and after knocking two or three times, he entered the room and found Lord Argentine's body leaning forward at an angle from the bottom of the bed. He discovered that his master had tied a cord securely to one of the short bed-posts and, after creating a noose and slipping it around his neck, the unfortunate man must have fallen forward to die by slow strangulation. He was still dressed in the light suit the valet had seen him wear when he left. The doctor who was called confirmed that he had been dead for over four hours. All papers, letters, and so on appeared to be in perfect order, and nothing was found that hinted at any scandal, big or small. This was where the evidence ended; nothing else could be found. Several people had been at the dinner party where Lord Argentine was present, and to everyone, he seemed to be in his usual cheerful spirits. The valet did mention that his master appeared a bit excited when he came home, but admitted that the change in behavior was quite minor, hardly noticeable at all. It seemed pointless to look for any clues, and the idea that Lord Argentine had suddenly experienced an acute suicidal episode was widely accepted.

It was otherwise, however, when within three weeks, three more gentlemen, one of them a nobleman, and the two others men of good position and ample means, perished miserably in almost precisely the same manner. Lord Swanleigh was found one morning in his dressing-room, hanging from a peg affixed to the wall, and Mr. Collier-Stuart and Mr. Herries had chosen to die as Lord Argentine. There was no explanation[218] in either case; a few bald facts; a living man in the evening, and a dead body with a black swollen face in the morning. The police had been forced to confess themselves powerless to arrest or to explain the sordid murders of Whitechapel; but before the horrible suicides of Piccadilly and Mayfair they were dumb-foundered, for not even the mere ferocity which did duty as an explanation of the crimes of the East End, could be of service in the West. Each of these men who had resolved to die a tortured shameful death was rich, prosperous, and to all appearances in love with the world, and not the acutest research could ferret out any shadow of a lurking motive in either case. There was a horror in the air, and men looked at one another's faces when they met, each wondering whether the other was to be the victim of the fifth nameless tragedy. Journalists sought in vain in their scrap-books for materials whereof to concoct reminiscent articles; and the morning paper was unfolded in many a house with a feeling of awe; no man knew when or where the blow would next light.

It was different, though, when within three weeks, three more gentlemen—one of them a nobleman, and the other two men of high standing and substantial means—tragically died in almost exactly the same way. One morning, Lord Swanleigh was found in his dressing room, hanging from a hook on the wall, while Mr. Collier-Stuart and Mr. Herries had chosen to die like Lord Argentine. There was no explanation in either case; just a few stark facts: a living man in the evening and a dead body with a dark, swollen face in the morning. The police had to admit they were powerless to stop or make sense of the grim murders in Whitechapel, but they were utterly baffled by the shocking suicides in Piccadilly and Mayfair. Not even the raw brutality that served as an explanation for the crimes in the East End could apply in the West. Each of these men who had decided to end their lives in such a tortured and shameful way was wealthy, successful, and apparently in love with life, and no amount of investigation could uncover any hint of a hidden motive in either case. There was a sense of dread in the air, and whenever men met, they exchanged glances, each wondering if the other would be the next victim of the fifth nameless tragedy. Journalists searched in vain through their scrapbooks for material to create reflective articles, and many households unfolded the morning paper with a sense of dread, unsure of when or where the next blow would fall.

A short while after the last of these terrible events, Austin came to see Mr. Villiers. He was curious to know whether Villiers had succeeded in discovering any fresh traces of Mrs. Herbert, either through Clarke or by other sources, and he asked the question soon after he had sat down.

A little while after the last of these awful events, Austin went to see Mr. Villiers. He was eager to find out if Villiers had managed to uncover any new information about Mrs. Herbert, either from Clarke or other sources, and he asked the question shortly after sitting down.

'No,' said Villiers, 'I wrote to Clarke, but he remains obdurate, and I have tried other channels, but without any result. I can't find out what became of Helen Vaughan after she left Paul Street, but I think she must have gone abroad. But to tell the truth, Austin, I haven't paid very much attention to the matter[219] for the last few weeks; I knew poor Herries intimately, and his terrible death has been a great shock to me, a great shock.'

'No,' said Villiers, 'I wrote to Clarke, but he’s being stubborn, and I’ve tried other avenues, but nothing has worked. I can't find out what happened to Helen Vaughan after she left Paul Street, but I think she must have gone overseas. Honestly, Austin, I haven’t paid much attention to this for the past few weeks; I knew poor Herries well, and his awful death has really affected me, it’s been a huge shock.'[219]

'I can well believe it,' answered Austin gravely; 'you know Argentine was a friend of mine. If I remember rightly, we were speaking of him that day you came to my rooms.'

'I can totally believe that,' Austin replied seriously; 'you know Argentine was a friend of mine. If I recall correctly, we were talking about him that day you came to my place.'

'Yes; it was in connection with that house in Ashley Street, Mrs. Beaumont's house. You said something about Argentine's dining there.'

'Yes, it was about that house on Ashley Street, Mrs. Beaumont's place. You mentioned something about Argentine dining there.'

'Quite so. Of course you know it was there Argentine dined the night before—before his death.'

'Exactly. Of course you know that Argentine had dinner there the night before—before he died.'

'No, I haven't heard that.'

'No, I haven't heard that.'

'Oh, yes; the name was kept out of the papers to spare Mrs. Beaumont. Argentine was a great favourite of hers, and it is said she was in a terrible state for some time after.'

'Oh, yes; they kept the name out of the papers to protect Mrs. Beaumont. Argentine was one of her favorites, and it's said she was in a really bad way for a while after.'

A curious look came over Villiers's face; he seemed undecided whether to speak or not. Austin began again.

A curious expression crossed Villiers's face; he appeared unsure whether to say something or not. Austin started again.

'I never experienced such a feeling of horror as when I read the account of Argentine's death. I didn't understand it at the time, and I don't now. I knew him well, and it completely passes my understanding for what possible cause he—or any of the others for the matter of that—could have resolved in cold blood to die in such an awful manner. You know how men babble away each other's characters in London, you may be sure any buried scandal or hidden skeleton would have been brought to light in such a case as this; but nothing of the sort has taken place. As for the theory of mania, that is very well, of course, for the coroner's jury, but everybody knows that[220] it's all nonsense. Suicidal mania is not small-pox.'

'I’ve never felt such horror as I did when I read the story of Argentine's death. I didn't get it then, and I still don’t. I knew him well, and I just can’t understand why he—or any of the others for that matter—would choose to die in such a terrible way. You know how people gossip about each other's reputations in London; you can be sure any buried scandal or hidden secrets would have come to light in a case like this, but nothing of the sort has happened. As for the idea of mania, that sounds good for the coroner’s jury, but everyone knows that[220] it's all nonsense. Suicidal mania isn’t like smallpox.'

Austin relapsed into gloomy silence. Villiers sat silent also, watching his friend. The expression of indecision still fleeted across his face; he seemed as if weighing his thoughts in the balance, and the considerations he was revolving left him still silent. Austin tried to shake off the remembrance of tragedies as hopeless and perplexed as the labyrinth of Dædalus, and began to talk in an indifferent voice of the more pleasant incidents and adventures of the season.

Austin fell back into a gloomy silence. Villiers sat quietly too, observing his friend. The look of uncertainty still flickered across his face; he seemed to be weighing his thoughts carefully, and the things he was pondering kept him silent. Austin tried to shake off memories of tragedies as confusing and hopeless as the labyrinth of Dædalus, and began to speak in a casual tone about the more enjoyable events and adventures of the season.

'That Mrs. Beaumont,' he said, 'of whom we were speaking, is a great success; she has taken London almost by storm. I met her the other night at Fulham's; she is really a remarkable woman.'

'That Mrs. Beaumont,' he said, 'whom we were talking about, is a huge success; she has practically taken London by storm. I ran into her the other night at Fulham's; she’s truly an impressive woman.'

'You have met Mrs. Beaumont?'

'Have you met Mrs. Beaumont?'

'Yes; she had quite a court around her. She would be called very handsome, I suppose, and yet there is something about her face which I didn't like. The features are exquisite, but the expression is strange. And all the time I was looking at her, and afterwards, when I was going home, I had a curious feeling that that very expression was in some way or other familiar to me.'

'Yes; she had quite a crowd around her. I guess she would be considered very attractive, but there’s something about her face that I didn’t like. The features are stunning, but the expression is odd. And the whole time I was looking at her, and afterwards, when I was heading home, I had a strange feeling that that very expression was somehow familiar to me.'

'You must have seen her in the Row.'

'You must have seen her in the crowd.'

'No, I am sure I never set eyes on the woman before; it is that which makes it puzzling. And to the best of my belief I have never seen anybody like her; what I felt was a kind of dim far-off memory, vague but persistent. The only sensation I can compare it to, is that odd feeling one sometimes has in a dream, when fantastic cities and wondrous lands and[221] phantom personages appear familiar and accustomed.'

'No, I’m certain I’ve never seen that woman before; that’s what makes it so puzzling. To the best of my knowledge, I’ve never encountered anyone like her; what I felt was a sort of distant, fading memory—vague but lingering. The closest sensation I can liken it to is that strange feeling you sometimes get in a dream, when bizarre cities, amazing places, and[221] ghostly figures seem familiar and known.'

Villiers nodded and glanced aimlessly round the room, possibly in search of something on which to turn the conversation. His eyes fell on an old chest somewhat like that in which the artist's strange legacy lay hid beneath a Gothic scutcheon.

Villiers nodded and looked around the room, maybe trying to find something to change the topic. His gaze landed on an old chest that resembled the one where the artist's unusual legacy was hidden under a Gothic emblem.

'Have you written to the doctor about poor Meyrick?' he asked.

"Have you contacted the doctor about poor Meyrick?" he asked.

'Yes; I wrote asking for full particulars as to his illness and death. I don't expect to have an answer for another three weeks or a month. I thought I might as well inquire whether Meyrick knew an Englishwoman named Herbert, and if so, whether the doctor could give me any information about her. But it's very possible that Meyrick fell in with her at New York, or Mexico, or San Francisco; I have no idea as to the extent or direction of his travels.'

'Yeah, I wrote asking for all the details about his illness and death. I don’t expect a response for another three weeks or a month. I thought I might as well check if Meyrick knew an Englishwoman named Herbert, and if the doctor could give me any information about her. But it’s very possible Meyrick met her in New York, Mexico, or San Francisco; I have no idea how far or where he traveled.'

'Yes, and it's very possible that the woman may have more than one name.'

'Yes, and it's quite possible that the woman might have more than one name.'

'Exactly. I wish I had thought of asking you to lend me the portrait of her which you possess. I might have enclosed it in my letter to Dr. Matthews.'

'Exactly. I wish I had thought to ask you to lend me the portrait of her that you have. I could have included it in my letter to Dr. Matthews.'

'So you might; that never occurred to me. We might send it now. Hark! What are those boys calling?'

'You might be right; I never thought of that. We could send it now. Hey! What are those boys shouting?'

While the two men had been talking together a confused noise of shouting had been gradually growing louder. The noise rose from the eastward and swelled down Piccadilly, drawing nearer and nearer, a very torrent of sound; surging up streets usually quiet, and making every window a frame for a face, curious or[222] excited. The cries and voices came echoing up the silent street where Villiers lived, growing more distinct as they advanced, and, as Villiers spoke, an answer rang up from the pavement:

While the two men were talking, a confusing noise of shouting was gradually getting louder. The noise came from the east and swelled down Piccadilly, drawing closer and closer, like a torrent of sound; surging up usually quiet streets and turning every window into a frame for curious or excited faces. The cries and voices echoed up the silent street where Villiers lived, becoming clearer as they approached, and as Villiers spoke, a response rang up from the pavement:

'The West End Horrors; Another Awful Suicide; Full Details!'

'The West End Horrors; Another Tragic Suicide; Full Details!'

Austin rushed down the stairs and bought a paper and read out the paragraph to Villiers as the uproar in the street rose and fell. The window was open and the air seemed full of noise and terror.

Austin hurried down the stairs, grabbed a newspaper, and read the paragraph aloud to Villiers while the chaos outside ebbed and flowed. The window was open, and the air felt thick with noise and fear.

'Another gentleman has fallen a victim to the terrible epidemic of suicide which for the last month has prevailed in the West End. Mr. Sidney Crashaw, of Stoke House, Fulham, and King's Pomeroy, Devon, was found, after a prolonged search, hanging from the branch of a tree in his garden at one o'clock to-day. The deceased gentleman dined last night at the Carlton Club and seemed in his usual health and spirits. He left the Club at about ten o'clock, and was seen walking leisurely up St. James's Street a little later. Subsequent to this his movements cannot be traced. On the discovery of the body medical aid was at once summoned, but life had evidently been long extinct. So far as is known, Mr. Crashaw had no trouble or anxiety of any kind. This painful suicide, it will be remembered, is the fifth of the kind in the last month. The authorities at Scotland Yard are unable to suggest any explanation of these terrible occurrences.'

'Another gentleman has become a victim of the dreadful epidemic of suicide that has been affecting the West End for the past month. Mr. Sidney Crashaw, of Stoke House, Fulham, and King's Pomeroy, Devon, was found, after a lengthy search, hanging from the branch of a tree in his garden at one o'clock today. The deceased had dinner last night at the Carlton Club and appeared to be in his usual health and spirits. He left the Club around ten o'clock and was seen walking casually up St. James's Street a short while later. After that, his movements can't be traced. When the body was discovered, medical help was immediately called, but he had clearly been dead for some time. As far as is known, Mr. Crashaw had no troubles or worries. This tragic suicide, it should be noted, is the fifth of its kind in the past month. Authorities at Scotland Yard cannot provide any explanation for these horrifying incidents.'

Austin put down the paper in mute horror.

Austin set the paper down in silent shock.

'I shall leave London to-morrow,' he said, 'it is a city of nightmares. How awful this is, Villiers!'

'I’m leaving London tomorrow,' he said, 'it’s a city of nightmares. How terrible this is, Villiers!'

Mr. Villiers was sitting by the window quietly looking out into the street. He had listened to the newspaper[223] report attentively, and the hint of indecision was no longer on his face.

Mr. Villiers was sitting by the window, quietly watching the street. He had listened to the newspaper[223] report closely, and the hint of uncertainty was gone from his face.

'Wait a moment, Austin,' he replied, 'I have made up my mind to mention a little matter that occurred last night. It is stated, I think, that Crashaw was last seen alive in St. James's Street shortly after ten?'

'Hold on a second, Austin,' he said, 'I’ve decided to bring up a small issue that happened last night. It’s been mentioned, I believe, that Crashaw was last seen alive on St. James's Street shortly after ten?'

'Yes, I think so. I will look again. Yes, you are quite right.'

'Yes, I think so. I'll check again. Yes, you're totally right.'

'Quite so. Well, I am in a position to contradict that statement at all events. Crashaw was seen after that; considerably later indeed.'

'Absolutely. Well, I can definitely contradict that statement, at least. Crashaw was seen afterward; quite a bit later, in fact.'

'How do you know?'

'How do you know that?'

'Because I happened to see Crashaw myself at about two o'clock this morning.'

'Because I happened to see Crashaw myself at around two o'clock this morning.'

'You saw Crashaw? You, Villiers?'

'Did you see Crashaw? You, Villiers?'

'Yes, I saw him quite distinctly; indeed, there were but a few feet between us.'

'Yes, I saw him clearly; in fact, there were only a few feet between us.'

'Where, in Heaven's name, did you see him?'

'Where on Earth did you see him?'

'Not far from here. I saw him in Ashley Street. He was just leaving a house.'

'Not far from here. I saw him on Ashley Street. He was just leaving a house.'

'Did you notice what house it was?'

'Did you see which house it was?'

'Yes. It was Mrs. Beaumont's.'

'Yes, it belonged to Mrs. Beaumont.'

'Villiers! Think what you are saying; there must be some mistake. How could Crashaw be in Mrs. Beaumont's house at two o'clock in the morning? Surely, surely, you must have been dreaming, Villiers, you were always rather fanciful.'

'Villiers! Think about what you're saying; there has to be some mistake. How could Crashaw be in Mrs. Beaumont's house at two in the morning? Surely, you must have been dreaming, Villiers, you’ve always had a bit of an imagination.'

'No; I was wide awake enough. Even if I had been dreaming as you say, what I saw would have roused me effectually.'

'No; I was fully awake. Even if I had been dreaming like you say, what I saw would have definitely woken me up.'

'What you saw? What did you see? Was there anything strange about Crashaw? But I can't believe it; it is impossible.'[224]

'What did you see? Was there anything off about Crashaw? I can't believe it; it's impossible.'[224]

'Well, if you like I will tell you what I saw, or if you please, what I think I saw, and you can judge for yourself.'

'Well, if you want, I can tell you what I saw, or if you prefer, what I think I saw, and you can decide for yourself.'

'Very good, Villiers.'

'Great job, Villiers.'

The noise and clamour of the street had died away, though now and then the sound of shouting still came from the distance, and the dull, leaden silence seemed like the quiet after an earthquake or a storm. Villiers turned from the window and began speaking.

The noise and commotion of the street had faded, though occasionally the sound of shouting could still be heard from afar, and the heavy, muted silence felt like the calm after an earthquake or a storm. Villiers turned away from the window and started to speak.

'I was at a house near Regent's Park last night, and when I came away the fancy took me to walk home instead of taking a hansom. It was a clear pleasant night enough, and after a few minutes I had the streets pretty much to myself. It's a curious thing, Austin, to be alone in London at night, the gas-lamps stretching away in perspective, and the dead silence, and then perhaps the rush and clatter of a hansom on the stones, and the fire starting up under the horse's hoofs. I walked along pretty briskly, for I was feeling a little tired of being out in the night, and as the clocks were striking two I turned down Ashley Street, which, you know, is on my way. It was quieter than ever there, and the lamps were fewer; altogether, it looked as dark and gloomy as a forest in winter. I had done about half the length of the street when I heard a door closed very softly, and naturally I looked up to see who was abroad like myself at such an hour. As it happens, there is a street lamp close to the house in question, and I saw a man standing on the step. He had just shut the door and his face was towards me, and I recognized Crashaw directly. I never knew him to speak to, but I had often seen him, and I am positive that I was not mistaken in my man. I looked into his[225] face for a moment, and then—I will confess the truth—I set off at a good run, and kept it up till I was within my own door.'

'I was at a house near Regent's Park last night, and when I left, I decided to walk home instead of taking a taxi. It was a clear and pleasant night, and after a few minutes, I had the streets pretty much to myself. It’s an interesting experience, Austin, to be alone in London at night, with the gas lamps stretching out in front of me, the complete silence, and then suddenly the rush and clatter of a cab on the cobblestones, with sparks flying up from the horse's hooves. I walked briskly, feeling a bit tired of being out in the night, and as the clocks struck two, I turned down Ashley Street, which you know is on my way. It was quieter than ever there, with fewer lights; overall, it felt as dark and gloomy as a forest in winter. I had covered about half the street when I heard a door close very softly, and naturally I looked up to see who else was out at such an hour. There's a street lamp right by the house in question, and I saw a man standing on the step. He had just closed the door and was facing me, and I recognized Crashaw immediately. I never spoke to him, but I had seen him often, and I'm sure I wasn't mistaken. I looked into his face for a moment, and then—I’ll admit the truth—I took off running and kept running until I was safely inside my own door.'

'Why?'

'Why?'

'Why? Because it made my blood run cold to see that man's face. I could never have supposed that such an infernal medley of passions could have glared out of any human eyes; I almost fainted as I looked. I knew I had looked into the eyes of a lost soul, Austin, the man's outward form remained, but all hell was within it. Furious lust, and hate that was like fire, and the loss of all hope and horror that seemed to shriek aloud to the night, though his teeth were shut; and the utter blackness of despair. I am sure he did not see me; he saw nothing that you or I can see, but he saw what I hope we never shall. I do not know when he died; I suppose in an hour, or perhaps two, but when I passed down Ashley Street and heard the closing door, that man no longer belonged to this world; it was a devil's face I looked upon.'

'Why? Because it sent chills down my spine to see that man's face. I could never have imagined that such a terrifying mix of emotions could show through any human eyes; I nearly fainted as I gazed at him. I realized I was looking into the eyes of a lost soul, Austin; the man's physical form was still there, but all hell lived within it. Furious lust and hate that burned like fire, the absence of all hope, and a horror that seemed to scream into the night, even with his teeth clenched; and the total darkness of despair. I'm sure he didn't see me; he noticed nothing that you or I can perceive, but he saw what I hope we will never experience. I don't know when he passed away; I imagine it was within an hour or perhaps two, but when I walked down Ashley Street and heard the closing door, that man no longer belonged to this world; it was a devil's face I was looking at.'

There was an interval of silence in the room when Villiers ceased speaking. The light was failing, and all the tumult of an hour ago was quite hushed. Austin had bent his head at the close of the story, and his hand covered his eyes.

There was a moment of silence in the room when Villiers stopped speaking. The light was fading, and the chaos from an hour ago had completely settled down. Austin had lowered his head at the end of the story, and his hand was covering his eyes.

'What can it mean?' he said at length.

'What could it mean?' he asked eventually.

'Who knows, Austin, who knows? It's a black business, but I think we had better keep it to ourselves, for the present at any rate. I will see if I cannot learn anything about that house through private channels of information, and if I do light upon anything I will let you know.'[226]

"Who knows, Austin, who knows? It's a shady situation, but I think we should keep it to ourselves for now. I’ll see if I can find out anything about that house through some discreet sources, and if I come across anything, I’ll let you know."[226]

VII
THE ENCOUNTER IN SOHO

Three weeks later Austin received a note from Villiers, asking him to call either that afternoon or the next. He chose the nearer date, and found Villiers sitting as usual by the window, apparently lost in meditation on the drowsy traffic of the street. There was a bamboo table by his side, a fantastic thing, enriched with gilding and queer painted scenes, and on it lay a little pile of papers arranged and docketed as neatly as anything in Mr. Clarke's office.

Three weeks later, Austin got a note from Villiers asking him to come by either that afternoon or the next day. He picked the sooner option and found Villiers sitting by the window as usual, seemingly deep in thought about the sleepy traffic outside. Next to him was a bamboo table, a striking piece adorned with gold and odd painted scenes, and on it sat a small stack of papers neatly organized and labeled like something from Mr. Clarke's office.

'Well, Villiers, have you made any discoveries in the last three weeks?'

'So, Villiers, have you found anything interesting in the last three weeks?'

'I think so; I have here one or two memoranda which struck me as singular, and there is a statement to which I shall call your attention.'

'I think so; I have a couple of notes here that seemed unusual to me, and there’s a statement I want to draw your attention to.'

'And these documents relate to Mrs. Beaumont? It was really Crashaw whom you saw that night standing on the doorstep of the house in Ashley Street?'

'And these documents are about Mrs. Beaumont? It was actually Crashaw you saw that night standing on the doorstep of the house on Ashley Street?'

'As to that matter my belief remains unchanged, but neither my inquiries nor their results have any special relation to Crashaw. But my investigations have had a strange issue. I have found out who Mrs. Beaumont is!'

'As for that matter, my belief hasn't changed, but neither my questions nor their answers are particularly related to Crashaw. However, my investigations have led to a surprising outcome. I've discovered who Mrs. Beaumont is!'

'Who she is? In what way do you mean?'

'Who is she? What do you mean?'

'I mean that you and I know her better under another name.'

'I mean that you and I know her better by another name.'

'What name is that?'

'What's that name?'

'Herbert.'[227]

'Herbert.'[227]

'Herbert!' Austin repeated the word, dazed with astonishment.

'Herbert!' Austin said again, stunned with surprise.

'Yes, Mrs. Herbert of Paul Street, Helen Vaughan of earlier adventures unknown to me. You had reason to recognize the expression of her face; when you go home look at the face in Meyrick's book of horrors, and you will know the sources of your recollection.'

'Yes, Mrs. Herbert of Paul Street, Helen Vaughan of earlier adventures unknown to me. You had reason to recognize the expression on her face; when you go home, check out the face in Meyrick's book of horrors, and you'll understand where your memory comes from.'

'And you have proof of this?'

'Do you have any proof of this?'

'Yes, the best of proof; I have seen Mrs. Beaumont, or shall we say Mrs. Herbert?'

'Yes, the best proof; I've seen Mrs. Beaumont, or should we say Mrs. Herbert?'

'Where did you see her?'

'Where did you spot her?'

'Hardly in a place where you would expect to see a lady who lives in Ashley Street, Piccadilly. I saw her entering a house in one of the meanest and most disreputable streets in Soho. In fact, I had made an appointment, though not with her, and she was precise both to time and place.'

'Not exactly a spot where you’d expect to see a lady from Ashley Street, Piccadilly. I saw her walking into a house on one of the dingiest and most rundown streets in Soho. Actually, I had an appointment, though not with her, and she was punctual to both time and location.'

'All this seems very wonderful, but I cannot call it incredible. You must remember, Villiers, that I have seen this woman, in the ordinary adventure of London society, talking and laughing, and sipping her coffee in a commonplace drawing-room with commonplace people. But you know what you are saying.'

'All this seems amazing, but I can't call it unbelievable. You have to remember, Villiers, that I've seen this woman, in the usual hustle of London society, chatting and laughing, and sipping her coffee in an ordinary living room with regular people. But you know what you're talking about.'

'I do; I have not allowed myself to be led by surmises or fancies. It was with no thought of finding Helen Vaughan that I searched for Mrs. Beaumont in the dark waters of the life of London, but such has been the issue.'

'I do; I haven’t let myself be swayed by guesses or fantasies. I wasn’t looking for Helen Vaughan when I searched for Mrs. Beaumont in the dark undercurrents of life in London, but that’s how it turned out.'

'You must have been in strange places, Villiers.'

'You must have been to some weird places, Villiers.'

'Yes, I have been in very strange places. It would have been useless, you know, to go to Ashley Street, and ask Mrs. Beaumont to give me a short sketch of[228] her previous history. No; assuming, as I had to assume, that her record was not of the cleanest, it would be pretty certain that at some previous time she must have moved in circles not quite so refined as her present ones. If you see mud on the top of a stream, you may be sure that it was once at the bottom. I went to the bottom. I have always been fond of diving into Queer Street for my amusement, and I found my knowledge of that locality and its inhabitants very useful. It is, perhaps, needless to say that my friends had never heard the name of Beaumont, and as I had never seen the lady, and was quite unable to describe her, I had to set to work in an indirect way. The people there know me; I have been able to do some of them a service now and again, so they made no difficulty about giving their information; they were aware I had no communication direct or indirect with Scotland Yard. I had to cast out a good many lines, though, before I got what I wanted, and when I landed the fish I did not for a moment suppose it was my fish. But I listened to what I was told out of a constitutional liking for useless information, and I found myself in possession of a very curious story, though, as I imagined, not the story I was looking for. It was to this effect. Some five or six years ago, a woman named Raymond suddenly made her appearance in the neighbourhood to which I am referring. She was described to me as being quite young, probably not more than seventeen or eighteen, very handsome, and looking as if she came from the country. I should be wrong in saying that she found her level in going to this particular quarter, or associating with these people, for from what I was told, I should think the worst den in London far too[229] good for her. The person from whom I got my information, as you may suppose, no great Puritan, shuddered and grew sick in telling me of the nameless infamies which were laid to her charge. After living there for a year, or perhaps a little more, she disappeared as suddenly as she came, and they saw nothing of her till about the time of the Paul Street case. At first she came to her old haunts only occasionally, then more frequently, and finally took up her abode there as before, and remained for six or eight months. It's of no use my going into details as to the life that woman led; if you want particulars you can look at Meyrick's legacy. Those designs were not drawn from his imagination. She again disappeared, and the people of the place saw nothing of her till a few months ago. My informant told me that she had taken some rooms in a house which he pointed out, and these rooms she was in the habit of visiting two or three times a week and always at ten in the morning. I was led to expect that one of these visits would be paid on a certain day about a week ago, and I accordingly managed to be on the look-out in company with my cicerone at a quarter to ten, and the hour and the lady came with equal punctuality. My friend and I were standing under an archway, a little way back from the street, but she saw us, and gave me a glance that I shall be long in forgetting. That look was quite enough for me; I knew Miss Raymond to be Mrs. Herbert; as for Mrs. Beaumont she had quite gone out of my head. She went into the house, and I watched it till four o'clock, when she came out, and then I followed her. It was a long chase, and I had to be very careful to keep a long way in the background, and yet not lose sight of the[230] woman. She took me down to the Strand, and then to Westminster, and then up St. James's Street, and along Piccadilly. I felt queerish when I saw her turn up Ashley Street; the thought that Mrs. Herbert was Mrs. Beaumont came into my mind, but it seemed too improbable to be true. I waited at the corner, keeping my eye on her all the time, and I took particular care to note the house at which she stopped. It was the house with the gay curtains, the house of flowers, the house out of which Crashaw came the night he hanged himself in his garden. I was just going away with my discovery, when I saw an empty carriage come round and draw up in front of the house, and I came to the conclusion that Mrs. Herbert was going out for a drive, and I was right. I took a hansom and followed the carriage into the Park. There, as it happened, I met a man I know, and we stood talking together a little distance from the carriage-way, to which I had my back. We had not been there for ten minutes when my friend took off his hat, and I glanced round and saw the lady I had been following all day. "Who is that?" I said, and his answer was, "Mrs. Beaumont; lives in Ashley Street." Of course there could be no doubt after that. I don't know whether she saw me, but I don't think she did. I went home at once, and, on consideration, I thought that I had a sufficiently good case with which to go to Clarke.'

'Yes, I’ve been to some really strange places. It would have been pointless to go to Ashley Street and ask Mrs. Beaumont for a brief overview of[228] her past. No; assuming, as I had to, that her history wasn’t exactly spotless, it was pretty likely that at some point she moved in circles that were not as refined as her current ones. If you see mud on top of a stream, you can be sure it was once at the bottom. I explored the depths. I’ve always enjoyed diving into the unusual for fun, and my knowledge of that area and the people there proved to be very useful. It’s probably unnecessary to say that my friends had never heard of Beaumont, and since I had never seen the lady and couldn’t describe her, I had to go about it indirectly. The people there know me; I’ve done them favors from time to time, so they were more than willing to share their information since they knew I had no direct or indirect communication with Scotland Yard. I had to throw out a lot of lines before I got what I wanted, and when I finally caught something, I didn’t think for a moment it was what I was after. But I listened to what I learned out of a natural curiosity for useless information, and I ended up with a very interesting story, although it wasn’t the one I was looking for. Here it is: About five or six years ago, a woman named Raymond suddenly appeared in the neighborhood I’m talking about. I was told she was quite young, probably around seventeen or eighteen, very attractive, and seemed to have come from the countryside. I would be wrong to say she found her place in this area or among these people because, from what I gathered, even the worst part of London would be too nice for her. The source of my information, as you might guess, wasn’t exactly a Puritan, shuddered, and got sick just telling me about the unspeakable offenses attributed to her. After living there for about a year, maybe a little more, she disappeared just as suddenly as she had arrived, and no one saw her again until around the time of the Paul Street case. At first, she returned to her old haunts only occasionally, then more regularly, and eventually moved back in as she had before, staying for six to eight months. There’s no point in me detailing the life that woman led; if you want specifics, you can check Meyrick’s legacy. Those designs were not born from his imagination. She disappeared again and the locals didn’t see her until a few months ago. My informant mentioned she had rented some rooms in a house he identified, and she visited those rooms two or three times a week, always at ten in the morning. I was led to believe she would make one of those visits on a certain day about a week ago, so I arranged to be on the lookout with my guide at a quarter to ten, and both the hour and the lady arrived right on time. My friend and I stood under an archway, a little back from the street, but she noticed us and gave me a look that I won’t forget for a long time. That glance was enough for me; I recognized Miss Raymond as Mrs. Herbert; as for Mrs. Beaumont, she had completely slipped my mind. She entered the house, and I kept watching until four o'clock when she came out, and then I followed her. It was a long pursuit, and I had to be very careful to stay far enough back while still keeping her in sight. She took me to the Strand, then to Westminster, up St. James's Street, and along Piccadilly. I felt uneasy when I saw her turn onto Ashley Street; the thought that Mrs. Herbert was Mrs. Beaumont crossed my mind, but it seemed too unlikely to be true. I waited at the corner, keeping my eye on her, and made sure to note the house where she stopped. It was the house with the colorful curtains, the house of flowers, the very house from which Crashaw came the night he hanged himself in his garden. I was just about to leave with what I had discovered when I saw an empty carriage pull up in front of the house, and I figured Mrs. Herbert was going out for a drive, which I was correct about. I took a hansom and followed the carriage into the Park. There, I happened to meet a man I know, and we stood talking a bit away from the carriageway, with my back turned to it. We hadn’t been there for ten minutes when my friend took off his hat, and I turned to see the lady I had been following all day. "Who is that?" I asked, and his answer was, "Mrs. Beaumont; lives on Ashley Street." There was no doubt after that. I don’t know if she saw me, but I don’t think she did. I went home right away, and after thinking it over, I figured I had a strong enough case to go to Clarke.'

'Why to Clarke?'

'Why to Clarke?'

'Because I am sure that Clarke is in possession of facts about this woman, facts of which I know nothing.'

'Because I'm sure that Clarke knows things about this woman that I have no idea about.'

'Well, what then?'

'So, what's next?'

Mr. Villiers leaned back in his chair and looked[231] reflectively at Austin for a moment before he answered:

Mr. Villiers leaned back in his chair and looked[231] thoughtfully at Austin for a moment before he replied:

'My idea was that Clarke and I should call on Mrs. Beaumont.'

My plan was for Clarke and me to visit Mrs. Beaumont.

'You would never go into such a house as that? No, no, Villiers, you cannot do it. Besides, consider; what result ...'

'You would never go into a house like that? No, no, Villiers, you can’t do it. Besides, think about; what's the outcome ...'

'I will tell you soon. But I was going to say that my information does not end here; it has been completed in an extraordinary manner.

'I will let you know soon. But I was going to mention that my information doesn't stop here; it's been wrapped up in an incredible way.

'Look at this neat little packet of manuscript; it is paginated, you see, and I have indulged in the civil coquetry of a ribbon of red tape. It has almost a legal air, hasn't it? Run your eye over it, Austin. It is an account of the entertainment Mrs. Beaumont provided for her choicer guests. The man who wrote this escaped with his life, but I do not think he will live many years. The doctors tell him he must have sustained some severe shock to the nerves.'

'Look at this neat little packet of manuscript; it’s paginated, you see, and I’ve enjoyed adding a bit of red tape for flair. It has almost a legal vibe, doesn’t it? Take a look at it, Austin. It’s a record of the event Mrs. Beaumont hosted for her special guests. The guy who wrote this barely made it out alive, but I don’t think he has many years left. The doctors say he must have gone through some serious shock to his system.'

Austin took the manuscript, but never read it. Opening the neat pages at haphazard his eye was caught by a word and a phrase that followed it; and, sick at heart, with white lips and a cold sweat pouring like water from his temples, he flung the paper down.

Austin picked up the manuscript but never read it. Flipping through the neatly arranged pages randomly, a word and the phrase after it caught his eye; and, feeling a sickening dread, with pale lips and cold sweat streaming down his temples, he threw the paper down.

'Take it away, Villiers, never speak of this again. Are you made of stone, man? Why, the dread and horror of death itself, the thoughts of the man who stands in the keen morning air on the black platform, bound, the bell tolling in his ears, and waits for the harsh rattle of the bolt, are as nothing compared to this. I will not read it; I should never sleep again.'

'Take it away, Villiers, and don't ever mention this again. Are you made of stone, man? The fear and horror of death itself—the thoughts of a man standing in the sharp morning air on the dark platform, bound, the bell ringing in his ears, waiting for the cruel sound of the bolt—are nothing compared to this. I won’t read it; I’d never sleep again.'

'Very good. I can fancy what you saw. Yes; it[232] is horrible enough; but after all, it is an old story, an old mystery played in our day, and in dim London streets instead of amidst the vineyards and the olive gardens. We know what happened to those who chanced to meet the Great God Pan, and those who are wise know that all symbols are symbols of something, not of nothing. It was, indeed, an exquisite symbol beneath which men long ago veiled their knowledge of the most awful, most secret forces which lie at the heart of all things; forces before which the souls of men must wither and die and blacken, as their bodies blacken under the electric current. Such forces cannot be named, cannot be spoken, cannot be imagined except under a veil and a symbol, a symbol to the most of us appearing a quaint, poetic fancy, to some a foolish tale. But you and I, at all events, have known something of the terror that may dwell in the secret place of life, manifested under human flesh; that which is without form taking to itself a form. Oh, Austin, how can it be? How is it that the very sunlight does not turn to blackness before this thing, the hard earth melt and boil beneath such a burden?'

Very good. I can picture what you saw. Yes; it[232] is terrible enough; but after all, it’s an old story, an old mystery unfolding in our time, and on dim London streets instead of among the vineyards and olive groves. We know what happened to those who happened to encounter the Great God Pan, and those who are wise understand that all symbols represent something, not nothing. It was, indeed, a beautiful symbol under which people long ago concealed their awareness of the most horrifying, most secret forces that lie at the core of all things; forces before which human souls must wither and die and turn black, just as their bodies darken under an electric current. Such forces cannot be named, cannot be spoken of, cannot be imagined except under a veil and a symbol, a symbol that seems to most of us a quaint, poetic fancy and to some a silly tale. But you and I, at least, have experienced something of the fear that may dwell in the hidden nature of life, taking shape under human flesh; that which is formless taking form. Oh, Austin, how can this be? How is it that the very sunlight does not turn to darkness before this thing, the solid earth melt and boil under such a weight?

Villiers was pacing up and down the room, and the beads of sweat stood out on his forehead. Austin sat silent for a while, but Villiers saw him make a sign upon his breast.

Villiers was pacing back and forth in the room, and the beads of sweat were visible on his forehead. Austin sat quietly for a moment, but Villiers noticed him making a gesture on his chest.

'I say again, Villiers, you will surely never enter such a house as that? You would never pass out alive.'

'I say again, Villiers, you can't be serious about entering that house, right? You wouldn't come out of there alive.'

'Yes, Austin, I shall go out alive—I, and Clarke with me.'

'Yes, Austin, I will go out alive—I, along with Clarke.'

'What do you mean? You cannot, you would not dare ...'[233]

'What do you mean? You can't, you wouldn't dare ...'[233]

'Wait a moment. The air was very pleasant and fresh this morning; there was a breeze blowing, even through this dull street, and I thought I would take a walk. Piccadilly stretched before me a clear, bright vista, and the sun flashed on the carriages and on the quivering leaves in the park. It was a joyous morning, and men and women looked at the sky and smiled as they went about their work or their pleasure, and the wind blew as blithely as upon the meadows and the scented gorse. But somehow or other I got out of the bustle and the gaiety, and found myself walking slowly along a quiet, dull street, where there seemed to be no sunshine and no air, and where the few foot-passengers loitered as they walked, and hung indecisively about corners and archways. I walked along, hardly knowing where I was going or what I did there, but feeling impelled, as one sometimes is, to explore still further, with a vague idea of reaching some unknown goal. Thus I forged up the street, noting the small traffic of the milk-shop, and wondering at the incongruous medley of penny pipes, black tobacco, sweets, newspapers, and comic songs which here and there jostled one another in the short compass of a single window. I think it was a cold shudder that suddenly passed through me that first told me that I had found what I wanted. I looked up from the pavement and stopped before a dusty shop, above which the lettering had faded, where the red bricks of two hundred years ago had grimed to black; where the windows had gathered to themselves the fog and the dirt of winters innumerable. I saw what I required; but I think it was five minutes before I had steadied myself and could walk in and ask for it in a cool voice and with[234] a calm face. I think there must even then have been a tremor in my words, for the old man who came out from his back parlour, and fumbled slowly amongst his goods, looked oddly at me as he tied the parcel. I paid what he asked, and stood leaning by the counter, with a strange reluctance to take up my goods and go. I asked about the business, and learnt that trade was bad and the profits cut down sadly; but then the street was not what it was before traffic had been diverted, but that was done forty years ago, "just before my father died," he said. I got away at last, and walked along sharply; it was a dismal street indeed, and I was glad to return to the bustle and the noise. Would you like to see my purchase?'

'Wait a moment. The air was really nice and fresh this morning; there was a breeze blowing, even through this dull street, and I decided to take a walk. Piccadilly stretched out before me like a clear, bright view, and the sun sparkled on the carriages and on the quivering leaves in the park. It was a joyful morning, and men and women looked up at the sky and smiled as they went about their work or leisure, and the wind blew as cheerfully as on the meadows and the fragrant gorse. But somehow, I drifted away from the hustle and excitement and found myself walking slowly along a quiet, dull street, where there seemed to be no sunshine and no air, and where the few pedestrians loitered as they walked, hesitating around corners and archways. I walked on, hardly knowing where I was headed or what I was doing there, but feeling driven, as one sometimes does, to explore further, with a vague sense of reaching some unknown destination. So I made my way up the street, taking note of the small traffic at the milk shop, and wondering at the mismatched assortment of penny pipes, black tobacco, sweets, newspapers, and comic songs that jostled against each other in the limited space of a single window. I think it was a cold shiver that suddenly ran through me that first notified me that I had found what I was looking for. I looked up from the pavement and stopped in front of a dusty shop, above which the lettering had faded, where the red bricks from two hundred years ago had darkened to black; where the windows had collected the fog and dirt of countless winters. I saw what I needed; but I think it took me five minutes to steady myself enough to walk in and ask for it with a steady voice and a calm face. I think there was still a tremor in my words, because the old man who came out from his back room and slowly rummaged through his goods looked at me oddly as he wrapped the parcel. I paid what he asked and leaned against the counter, strangely reluctant to pick up my things and leave. I asked about the business and learned that trade was bad and profits had sadly shrunk; but then the street wasn’t what it used to be since traffic was diverted, which happened forty years ago, “just before my father died,” he said. I finally got away and walked quickly; it was indeed a dismal street, and I was glad to return to the hustle and noise. Would you like to see my purchase?'

Austin said nothing, but nodded his head slightly; he still looked white and sick. Villiers pulled out a drawer in the bamboo table, and showed Austin a long coil of cord, hard and new; and at one end was a running noose.

Austin didn’t say anything, but he nodded slightly; he still looked pale and sick. Villiers opened a drawer in the bamboo table and showed Austin a long coil of cord, stiff and brand new; at one end was a running noose.

'It is the best hempen cord,' said Villiers, 'just as it used to be made for the old trade, the man told me. Not an inch of jute from end to end.'

'It's the best hemp cord,' Villiers said, 'just like it used to be made for the old trade, the guy told me. Not a bit of jute from start to finish.'

Austin set his teeth hard, and stared at Villiers, growing whiter as he looked.

Austin clenched his jaw and stared at Villiers, his face turning paler the longer he looked.

'You would not do it,' he murmured at last. 'You would not have blood on your hands. My God!' he exclaimed, with sudden vehemence, 'you cannot mean this, Villiers, that you will make yourself a hangman?'

'You wouldn’t do it,' he said quietly at last. 'You wouldn’t want blood on your hands. My God!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'You can’t be serious, Villiers, that you’re going to make yourself a hangman?'

'No. I shall offer a choice, and leave Helen Vaughan alone with this cord in a locked room for fifteen minutes. If when we go in it is not done, I shall call the nearest policeman. That is all.'[235]

'No. I'll give a choice and leave Helen Vaughan alone with this cord in a locked room for fifteen minutes. If it's not done when we go in, I will call the nearest police officer. That's all.'[235]

'I must go now. I cannot stay here any longer; I cannot bear this. Good-night.'

'I have to go now. I can't stay here any longer; I can't handle this. Good night.'

'Good-night, Austin.'

'Goodnight, Austin.'

The door shut, but in a moment it was opened again, and Austin stood, white and ghastly, in the entrance.

The door closed, but after a moment, it opened again, and Austin stood there, pale and ghostly, in the doorway.

'I was forgetting,' he said, 'that I too have something to tell. I have received a letter from Dr. Harding of Buenos Ayres. He says that he attended Meyrick for three weeks before his death.'

'I almost forgot,' he said, 'that I have something to share too. I got a letter from Dr. Harding in Buenos Aires. He mentioned that he took care of Meyrick for three weeks before he passed away.'

'And does he say what carried him off in the prime of life? It was not fever?'

'And does he say what took him away in the prime of life? It wasn't a fever?'

'No, it was not fever. According to the doctor, it was an utter collapse of the whole system, probably caused by some severe shock. But he states that the patient would tell him nothing, and that he was consequently at some disadvantage in treating the case.'

'No, it wasn’t a fever. According to the doctor, it was a complete collapse of the entire system, likely caused by some severe shock. But he says that the patient wouldn’t tell him anything, and that he was thus at a disadvantage in treating the case.'

'Is there anything more?'

'Is there anything else?'

'Yes. Dr. Harding ends his letter by saying: "I think this is all the information I can give you about your poor friend. He had not been long in Buenos Ayres, and knew scarcely any one, with the exception of a person who did not bear the best of characters, and has since left—a Mrs. Vaughan."'

'Yes. Dr. Harding concludes his letter by saying: "I think this is all the information I can provide you about your unfortunate friend. He had not been in Buenos Aires for long and knew very few people, except for someone with a questionable reputation, who has since left—a Mrs. Vaughan."'

VIII
THE FRAGMENTS

[Amongst the papers of the well-known physician, Dr. Robert Matheson, of Ashley Street, Piccadilly, who died suddenly, of apoplectic seizure, at the beginning of 1892, a leaf of manuscript paper was found, covered with pencil jottings. These notes were in Latin, much abbreviated, and had evidently been made in great haste. The MS. was only deciphered with great[236] difficulty, and some words have up to the present time evaded all the efforts of the expert employed. The date, 'XXV Jul. 1888,' is written on the right-hand corner of the MS. The following is a translation of Dr. Matheson's manuscript.]

[Among the papers of the well-known physician, Dr. Robert Matheson, from Ashley Street, Piccadilly, who suddenly died from a stroke at the beginning of 1892, a sheet of manuscript paper was found covered with pencil notes. These notes were in Latin, heavily abbreviated, and were clearly written in a hurry. The manuscript was only deciphered with great difficulty, and some words have so far eluded all attempts by the expert hired to work on it. The date 'July 25, 1888' is noted in the right-hand corner of the manuscript. The following is a translation of Dr. Matheson's manuscript.]

'Whether science would benefit by these brief notes if they could be published, I do not know, but rather doubt. But certainly I shall never take the responsibility of publishing or divulging one word of what is here written, not only on account of my oath freely given to those two persons who were present, but also because the details are too abominable. It is probably that, upon mature consideration, and after weighing the good and evil, I shall one day destroy this paper, or at least leave it under seal to my friend D., trusting in his discretion, to use it or to burn it, as he may think fit.

'Whether science would benefit from these brief notes if they could be published, I don't know, but I doubt it. But I will certainly never take the responsibility of publishing or revealing a single word of what is written here, not only because of my oath freely given to those two individuals who were present, but also because the details are too horrific. It's likely that, after careful consideration and weighing the pros and cons, I will one day destroy this paper or at least leave it sealed for my friend D., trusting in his judgment to either use it or burn it as he sees fit.'

'As was befitting, I did all that my knowledge suggested to make sure that I was suffering under no delusion. At first astounded, I could hardly think, but in a minute's time I was sure that my pulse was steady and regular, and that I was in my real and true senses. I then fixed my eyes quietly on what was before me.

'As was appropriate, I did everything I could think of to ensure I wasn't deluding myself. At first shocked, I could barely think, but after a minute, I was certain that my pulse was steady and normal, and that I was fully aware of my surroundings. I then calmly focused my gaze on what was in front of me.'

'Though horror and revolting nausea rose up within me, and an odour of corruption choked my breath, I remained firm. I was then privileged or accursed, I dare not say which, to see that which was on the bed, lying there black like ink, transformed before my eyes. The skin, and the flesh, and the muscles, and the bones, and the firm structure of the human body that I had thought to be unchangeable, and permanent as adamant, began to melt and dissolve.

'Though horror and disgusting nausea surged within me, and a stench of decay filled my lungs, I stayed resolute. I was then either lucky or cursed, I can’t say which, to witness what was on the bed, lying there black like ink, changing right before my eyes. The skin, the flesh, the muscles, and the bones, the sturdy structure of the human body that I believed to be unchangeable and as permanent as stone, began to melt and dissolve.'

'I knew that the body may be separated into its[237] elements by external agencies, but I should have refused to believe what I saw. For here there was some internal force, of which I knew nothing, that caused dissolution and change.

'I knew that the body could be broken down into its[237] elements by outside forces, but I should have refused to accept what I was seeing. Because there was some internal force, of which I had no knowledge, that was causing decay and transformation.'

'Here too was all the work by which man had been made repeated before my eyes. I saw the form waver from sex to sex, dividing itself from itself, and then again reunited. Then I saw the body descend to the beasts whence it ascended, and that which was on the heights go down to the depths, even to the abyss of all being. The principle of life, which makes organism, always remained, while the outward form changed.

'Here also was all the work that created humanity displayed before my eyes. I saw the body shift from one sex to another, separating itself and then coming back together again. Then I saw the body descend to the animals from which it had risen, and what was up high went down to the depths, even to the very bottom of existence. The essence of life, which creates organisms, always remained, while the external form changed.'

'The light within the room had turned to blackness, not the darkness of night, in which objects are seen dimly, for I could see clearly and without difficulty. But it was the negation of light; objects were presented to my eyes, if I may say so, without any medium, in such a manner that if there had been a prism in the room I should have seen no colours represented in it.

'The light in the room had changed to darkness, not the kind that comes with night, where you can see things faintly, because I could see clearly and without trouble. But it was the absence of light; objects appeared to me, if I can put it that way, with no medium, so that if there had been a prism in the room, I wouldn't have seen any colors reflected in it.'

'I watched, and at last I saw nothing but a substance as jelly. Then the ladder was ascended again ... [here the MS. is illegible] ... for one instant I saw a Form, shaped in dimness before me, which I will not farther describe. But the symbol of this form may be seen in ancient sculptures, and in paintings which survived beneath the lava, too foul to be spoken of ... as a horrible and unspeakable shape, neither man nor beast, was changed into human form, there came finally death.

'I watched, and eventually I saw nothing but a jelly-like substance. Then the ladder was climbed again... [here the MS. is illegible] ... for a brief moment I saw a shape, vaguely outlined before me, which I won’t describe further. But the symbol of this shape can be found in ancient sculptures and in paintings that endured beneath the lava, too grotesque to mention... as a horrific and indescribable form, neither human nor animal, was transformed into human shape, death ultimately followed.'

'I who saw all this, not without great horror and loathing of soul, here write my name, declaring all that I have set on this paper to be true.

'I who witnessed all this, filled with great horror and deep disgust, hereby write my name, affirming that everything I've written on this paper is true.'

'Robert Matheson, Med. Dr.'

'Robert Matheson, MD'


... Such, Raymond, is the story of what I know and what I have seen. The burden of it was too heavy for me to bear alone, and yet I could tell it to none but you. Villiers, who was with me at the last, knows nothing of that awful secret of the wood, of how what we both saw die, lay upon the smooth, sweet turf amidst the summer flowers, half in sun and half in shadow, and holding the girl Rachel's hand, called and summoned those companions, and shaped in solid form, upon the earth we tread on, the horror which we can but hint at, which we can only name under a figure. I would not tell Villiers of this, nor of that resemblance, which struck me as with a blow upon my heart, when I saw the portrait, which filled the cup of terror at the end. What this can mean I dare not guess. I know that what I saw perish was not Mary, and yet in the last agony Mary's eyes looked into mine. Whether there be any one who can show the last link in this chain of awful mystery, I do not know, but if there be any one who can do this, you, Raymond, are the man. And if you know the secret, it rests with you to tell it or not, as you please.

... So, Raymond, that's the story of what I know and what I've seen. It was too much for me to handle alone, and yet I could only share it with you. Villiers, who was with me at the end, knows nothing about that terrible secret of the woods, about how what we both witnessed dying lay on the smooth, sweet grass among the summer flowers, half in sunlight and half in shadow, holding the girl Rachel's hand, calling and summoning those companions, and forming in solid shape on the ground we walk on, the horror we can only hint at and refer to indirectly. I wouldn't tell Villiers about this, nor about that resemblance, which hit me like a blow to the chest when I saw the portrait that filled me with terror at the end. I can't guess what this might mean. I know that what I saw die was not Mary, and yet in her final moments, Mary's eyes looked into mine. I don't know if anyone can reveal the last link in this chain of awful mystery, but if there is someone who can, it's you, Raymond. And if you know the secret, it's up to you whether to share it or keep it to yourself.

I am writing this letter to you immediately on my getting back to town. I have been in the country for the last few days; perhaps you may be able to guess in what part. While the horror and wonder of London was at its height—for 'Mrs. Beaumont,' as I have told you, was well known in society—I wrote to my friend Dr. Phillips, giving some brief outline, or rather hint, of what had happened, and asking him to tell me the name of the village where the events he had related to me occurred. He gave me the name, as he said with[239] the less hesitation, because Rachel's father and mother were dead, and the rest of the family had gone to a relative in the State of Washington six months before. The parents, he said, had undoubtedly died of grief and horror caused by the terrible death of their daughter, and by what had gone before that death. On the evening of the day on which I received Phillips's letter I was at Caermaen, and standing beneath the mouldering Roman walls, white with the winters of seventeen hundred years, I looked over the meadow where once had stood the older temple of the 'God of the Deeps,' and saw a house gleaming in the sunlight. It was the house where Helen had lived. I stayed at Caermaen for several days. The people of the place, I found, knew little and had guessed less. Those whom I spoke to on the matter seemed surprised that an antiquarian (as I professed myself to be) should trouble about a village tragedy, of which they gave a very commonplace version, and, as you may imagine, I told nothing of what I knew. Most of my time was spent in the great wood that rises just above the village and climbs the hillside, and goes down to the river in the valley; such another long lovely valley, Raymond, as that on which we looked one summer night, walking to and fro before your house. For many an hour I strayed through the maze of the forest, turning now to right and now to left, pacing slowly down long alleys of undergrowth, shadowy and chill, even under the midday sun, and halting beneath great oaks; lying on the short turf of a clearing where the faint sweet scent of wild roses came to me on the wind and mixed with the heavy perfume of the elder, whose mingled odour is like the odour of the room of the[240] dead, a vapour of incense and corruption. I stood at the edges of the wood, gazing at all the pomp and procession of the foxgloves towering amidst the bracken and shining red in the broad sunshine, and beyond them into deep thickets of close undergrowth where springs boil up from the rock and nourish the water-weeds, dank and evil. But in all my wanderings I avoided one part of the wood; it was not till yesterday that I climbed to the summit of the hill, and stood upon the ancient Roman road that threads the highest ridge of the wood. Here they had walked, Helen and Rachel, along this quiet causeway, upon the pavement of green turf, shut in on either side by high banks of red earth, and tall hedges of shining beech, and here I followed in their steps, looking out, now and again, through partings in the boughs, and seeing on one side the sweep of the wood stretching far to right and left, and sinking into the broad level, and beyond, the yellow sea, and the land over the sea. On the other side was the valley and the river and hill following hill as wave on wave, and wood and meadow, and cornfield, and white houses gleaming, and a great wall of mountain, and far blue peaks in the north. And so at last I came to the place. The track went up a gentle slope, and widened out into an open space with a wall of thick undergrowth around it, and then, narrowing again, passed on into the distance and the faint blue mist of summer heat. And into this pleasant summer glade Rachel passed a girl, and left it, who shall say what? I did not stay long there.

I’m writing you this letter as soon as I got back to town. I’ve been out in the countryside for the last few days; you might guess where. While the excitement and awe of London reached its peak—since ‘Mrs. Beaumont,’ as I mentioned, was quite well known in society—I wrote to my friend Dr. Phillips, giving a brief outline, or rather a hint, of what had happened, and asking him for the name of the village where the events he told me about took place. He shared the name with me, as he said, with a bit less hesitation because Rachel's parents had passed away, and the rest of the family had moved to a relative in Washington six months prior. He mentioned that the parents had likely died from grief and horror due to their daughter’s terrible death and what happened before it. On the evening I received Phillips's letter, I was at Caermaen, standing beneath the crumbling Roman walls, whitewashed by seventeen centuries of winters. I looked over the meadow where the older temple of the 'God of the Deeps' once stood and spotted a house gleaming in the sunlight. It was Helen's house. I stayed in Caermaen for several days. The locals, I found, knew little and guessed even less. Those I spoke to seemed surprised that an antiquarian (as I claimed to be) would concern himself with a village tragedy, of which they shared a very ordinary version. As you can imagine, I revealed nothing of what I knew. Most of my time was spent in the vast woods that rise just above the village, climbing the hillside and descending to the river in the valley; a long, lovely valley, Raymond, like the one we admired one summer night while strolling in front of your house. For hours, I wandered through the forest's maze, turning right and left, slowly pacing down long, shady paths of underbrush, which felt chilly even under the midday sun, and stopping beneath massive oaks. I lay on the short grass of a clearing where the faint, sweet scent of wild roses drifted to me on the wind, mixing with the heavy perfume of elderflowers, whose combined aroma is reminiscent of a dead person's room—a blend of incense and decay. I stood at the edge of the woods, gazing at the beauty of the foxgloves towering among the bracken, glowing red in the broad sunlight, and beyond them into the dense thickets where springs burst from the rocks, nourishing the dank and sinister water-weeds. Throughout my wandering, I avoided one part of the woods; it wasn't until yesterday that I climbed to the top of the hill and stood on the ancient Roman road that runs along the highest ridge. Here, Helen and Rachel walked, along this peaceful path, on the green turf lined with high banks of red earth and tall hedges of shining beech. I followed in their footsteps, occasionally peering through openings in the branches to see, on one side, the sweeping woods stretching far left and right, sinking into the broad flatlands, with the yellow sea and the land beyond it. On the other side lay the valley, the river, and hills rising like waves, with woods and meadows and cornfields, white houses shining, a great wall of mountains, and distant blue peaks to the north. And finally, I arrived at the spot. The path climbed a gentle slope and opened into a clearing surrounded by thick underbrush, then narrowed again, continuing into the distance and the faint blue haze of summer heat. In this pleasant summer glade, Rachel passed as a girl, leaving behind who knows what? I didn’t stay there long.

In a small town near Caermaen there is a museum, containing for the most part Roman remains which have been found in the neighbourhood at various times.[241] On the day after my arrival at Caermaen I walked over to the town in question, and took the opportunity of inspecting this museum. After I had seen most of the sculptured stones, the coffins, rings, coins, and fragments of tessellated pavement which the place contains, I was shown a small square pillar of white stone, which had been recently discovered in the wood of which I have been speaking, and, as I found on inquiry, in that open space where the Roman road broadens out. On one side of the pillar was an inscription, of which I took a note. Some of the letters have been defaced, but I do not think there can be any doubt as to those which I supply. The inscription is as follows:

In a small town near Caermaen, there’s a museum that mainly showcases Roman remains found in the area over the years.[241] The day after I arrived in Caermaen, I walked to this town and took the chance to explore the museum. After checking out most of the sculpted stones, coffins, rings, coins, and pieces of mosaic flooring it had, I was shown a small square pillar made of white stone, which had been recently uncovered in the woods I mentioned, specifically in the open area where the Roman road widens. One side of the pillar had an inscription that I noted down. Some of the letters were worn down, but I’m confident about the ones I filled in. The inscription reads as follows:

DEVOMNODENTi
FLAvIVSSENILISPOSSVit
PROPTERNVPtias
quaSVIDITSVBVMBra

'To the great god Nodens (the god of the Great Deep or Abyss) Flavius Senilis has erected this pillar on account of the marriage which he saw beneath the shade.'

'To the great god Nodens (the god of the Great Deep or Abyss), Flavius Senilis has set up this pillar because of the marriage he witnessed in the shade.'

The custodian of the museum informed me that local antiquaries were much puzzled, not by the inscription, or by any difficulty in translating it, but as to the circumstance or rite to which allusion is made.

The museum custodian told me that local historians were really confused, not by the inscription or any trouble translating it, but about the circumstance or ritual being referenced.


... And now, my dear Clarke, as to what you tell me about Helen Vaughan, whom you say you saw die under circumstances of the utmost and almost incredible horror. I was interested in your account, but a good deal, nay all, of what you told me I knew already.[242] I can understand the strange likeness you remarked both in the portrait and in the actual face; you have seen Helen's mother. You remember that still summer night so many years ago, when I talked to you of the world beyond the shadows, and of the god Pan. You remember Mary. She was the mother of Helen Vaughan, who was born nine months after that night.

... And now, my dear Clarke, regarding what you told me about Helen Vaughan, who you say you saw die in some truly horrific circumstances. I was intrigued by your account, but much of what you shared, I already knew.[242] I can see the strange resemblance you mentioned, both in the portrait and in the actual face; you’ve seen Helen's mother. Do you remember that still summer night so many years ago, when I spoke to you about the world beyond the shadows and the god Pan? You remember Mary. She was Helen Vaughan's mother, born nine months after that night.

Mary never recovered her reason. She lay, as you saw her, all the while upon her bed, and a few days after the child was born she died. I fancy that just at the last she knew me; I was standing by the bed, and the old look came into her eyes for a second, and then she shuddered and groaned and died. It was an ill work I did that night when you were present; I broke open the door of the house of life, without knowing or caring what might pass forth or enter in. I recollect your telling me at the time, sharply enough, and rightly enough too, in one sense, that I had ruined the reason of a human being by a foolish experiment, based on an absurd theory. You did well to blame me, but my theory was not all absurdity. What I said Mary would see, she saw, but I forgot that no human eyes could look on such a vision with impunity. And I forgot, as I have just said, that when the house of life is thus thrown open, there may enter in that for which we have no name, and human flesh may become the veil of a horror one dare not express. I played with energies which I did not understand, and you have seen the ending of it. Helen Vaughan did well to bind the cord about her neck and die, though the death was horrible. The blackened face, the hideous form upon the bed, changing and melting before your eyes from woman to man, from man to beast, and from beast to[243] worse than beast, all the strange horror that you witnessed, surprises me but little. What you say the doctor whom you sent for saw and shuddered at I noticed long ago; I knew what I had done the moment the child was born, and when it was scarcely five years old I surprised it, not once or twice but several times with a playmate, you may guess of what kind. It was for me a constant, an incarnate horror, and after a few years I felt I could bear it no longer, and I sent Helen Vaughan away. You know now what frightened the boy in the wood. The rest of the strange story, and all else that you tell me, as discovered by your friend, I have contrived to learn from time to time, almost to the last chapter. And now Helen is with her companions....

Mary never regained her sanity. She lay in bed just like you saw her, and a few days after the baby was born, she passed away. I think that in her last moments, she recognized me; I was standing by her bedside, and for a brief second, the familiar look came back to her eyes. Then she shuddered, groaned, and died. It was a terrible mistake I made that night while you were present; I forced open the door of life without knowing or caring about what might come out or go in. I remember you sharply reminding me at the time, and quite rightfully so, that I had ruined a person's mind through a reckless experiment, based on a ridiculous theory. You were right to blame me, but my theory wasn't entirely foolish. What I claimed Mary would see, she indeed saw, but I forgot that no human could gaze upon such visions without suffering consequences. And I overlooked, as I just mentioned, that when the door of life is thrown open, unknown horrors can come in, and human flesh might become a veil for a terror that one cannot articulate. I tampered with powers I didn’t understand, and you’ve seen the result. Helen Vaughan was right to tie the cord around her neck and die, even if her death was horrific. The charred face, the grotesque figure in bed, transforming before your eyes from woman to man, from man to beast, and from beast to something worse than a beast—all the bizarre terror you witnessed doesn’t surprise me much. What you said the doctor you called in saw and recoiled from, I had noticed long ago; I realized what I had done the moment the child was born. When it was barely five years old, I caught it with a playmate, and you can imagine what that was like. For me, it was a constant source of horror made flesh, and after a few years, I felt I couldn’t take it anymore, so I sent Helen Vaughan away. Now you know what scared the boy in the woods. The rest of the strange story, and everything else you learned from your friend, I have managed to piece together over time, almost up to the last chapter. And now Helen is with her companions....


The Inmost Light

I

One evening in autumn, when the deformities of London were veiled in faint blue mist, and its vistas and far-reaching streets seemed splendid, Mr. Charles Salisbury was slowly pacing down Rupert Street, drawing nearer to his favourite restaurant by slow degrees. His eyes were downcast in study of the pavement, and thus it was that as he passed in at the narrow door a man who had come up from the lower end of the street jostled against him.

One evening in autumn, when the flaws of London were hidden in a light blue mist, and its views and long streets looked impressive, Mr. Charles Salisbury was slowly walking down Rupert Street, approaching his favorite restaurant gradually. His eyes were fixed on the ground as he focused on the pavement, and that’s how, as he went through the narrow door, a man coming up from the end of the street bumped into him.

'I beg your pardon—wasn't looking where I was going. Why, it's Dyson!'

'I’m sorry—I wasn’t watching where I was going. Wait, it’s Dyson!'

'Yes, quite so. How are you, Salisbury?'

'Yes, exactly. How are you, Salisbury?'

'Quite well. But where have you been, Dyson? I don't think I can have seen you for the last five years?'

'Pretty good. But where have you been, Dyson? I don't think I've seen you in the last five years!'

'No; I dare say not. You remember I was getting rather hard up when you came to my place at Charlotte Street?'

'No; I definitely don't think so. You remember I was running low on cash when you came to my place on Charlotte Street?'

'Perfectly. I think I remember your telling me that you owed five weeks' rent, and that you had parted with your watch for a comparatively small sum.'

'Perfectly. I think I remember you telling me that you owed five weeks' rent and that you had sold your watch for a pretty small amount.'

'My dear Salisbury, your memory is admirable. Yes, I was hard up. But the curious thing is that soon after you saw me I became harder up. My financial state was described by a friend as "stone broke." I don't approve of slang, mind you, but such was my condition. But suppose we go in; there might be other[248] people who would like to dine—it's a human weakness, Salisbury.'

'My dear Salisbury, your memory is impressive. Yes, I was in a tough spot. But the interesting thing is that soon after you saw me, things got even worse. A friend described my financial situation as "stone broke." I’m not a fan of slang, just so you know, but that’s how it was. But let’s head inside; there might be other[248] people who would like to have dinner—it’s a common weakness, Salisbury.'

'Certainly; come along. I was wondering as I walked down whether the corner table were taken. It has a velvet back, you know.'

'Of course; let's go. I was thinking as I walked down if the corner table was taken. It has a velvet back, you know.'

'I know the spot; it's vacant. Yes, as I was saying, I became even harder up.'

'I know the place; it's empty. Yeah, as I was saying, I got even more desperate.'

'What did you do then?' asked Salisbury, disposing of his hat, and settling down in the corner of the seat, with a glance of fond anticipation at the menu.

'What did you do then?' asked Salisbury, taking off his hat and getting comfortable in the corner of the seat, with a look of eager anticipation at the menu.

'What did I do? Why, I sat down and reflected. I had a good classical education, and a positive distaste for business of any kind: that was the capital with which I faced the world. Do you know, I have heard people describe olives as nasty! What lamentable Philistinism! I have often thought, Salisbury, that I could write genuine poetry under the influence of olives and red wine. Let us have Chianti; it may not be very good, but the flasks are simply charming.'

'What did I do? Well, I sat down and thought it over. I had a solid classical education and a definite dislike for any kind of business—that was my starting point in facing the world. Can you believe it? I've heard people call olives disgusting! What terrible ignorance! I’ve often considered, Salisbury, that I could write real poetry while enjoying olives and red wine. Let’s have some Chianti; it might not be great, but the bottles are just delightful.'

'It is pretty good here. We may as well have a big flask.'

'It’s pretty good here. We might as well have a big flask.'

'Very good. I reflected, then, on my want of prospects, and I determined to embark in literature.'

'Very good. I thought about my lack of opportunities, and I decided to pursue a career in writing.'

'Really; that was strange. You seem in pretty comfortable circumstances, though.'

'Really, that was weird. You seem to be in pretty good shape, though.'

'Though! What a satire upon a noble profession. I am afraid, Salisbury, you haven't a proper idea of the dignity of an artist. You see me sitting at my desk—or at least you can see me if you care to call—with pen and ink, and simple nothingness before me, and if you come again in a few hours you will (in all probability) find a creation!'[249]

'Though! What a mockery of a great profession. I’m afraid, Salisbury, you don’t really understand the dignity of being an artist. You see me sitting at my desk—or at least you can see me if you want to drop by—with pen and ink, and just blank space in front of me, and if you come back in a few hours, you will (most likely) find a creation!'[249]

'Yes, quite so. I had an idea that literature was not remunerative.'

'Yes, that's right. I thought that literature wasn't financially rewarding.'

'You are mistaken; its rewards are great. I may mention, by the way, that shortly after you saw me I succeeded to a small income. An uncle died, and proved unexpectedly generous.'

'You’re wrong; the rewards are significant. By the way, shortly after you saw me, I came into a small income. An uncle passed away and turned out to be unexpectedly generous.'

'Ah, I see. That must have been convenient.'

'Oh, I get it. That must have been handy.'

'It was pleasant—undeniably pleasant. I have always considered it in the light of an endowment of my researches. I told you I was a man of letters; it would, perhaps, be more correct to describe myself as a man of science.'

'It was nice—definitely nice. I've always seen it as a gift from my studies. I mentioned I was a writer; it might be more accurate to say I'm a scientist.'

'Dear me, Dyson, you have really changed very much in the last few years. I had a notion, don't you know, that you were a sort of idler about town, the kind of man one might meet on the north side of Piccadilly every day from May to July.'

'Wow, Dyson, you’ve really changed a lot in the last few years. I kind of thought, you know, that you were the type of guy who just hung around town, the kind of person you'd see on the north side of Piccadilly every day from May to July.'

'Exactly. I was even then forming myself, though all unconsciously. You know my poor father could not afford to send me to the University. I used to grumble in my ignorance at not having completed my education. That was the folly of youth, Salisbury; my University was Piccadilly. There I began to study the great science which still occupies me.'

'Exactly. Even back then, I was shaping myself, though I didn’t realize it. You know my poor father couldn't afford to send me to university. I used to complain in my ignorance about not finishing my education. That was the foolishness of youth, Salisbury; my university was Piccadilly. That's where I started studying the great subject that still interests me.'

'What science do you mean?'

'Which science are you referring to?'

'The science of the great city; the physiology of London; literally and metaphysically the greatest subject that the mind of man can conceive. What an admirable salmi this is; undoubtedly the final end of the pheasant. Yet I feel sometimes positively overwhelmed with the thought of the vastness and complexity of London. Paris a man may get to understand[250] thoroughly with a reasonable amount of study; but London is always a mystery. In Paris you may say: "Here live the actresses, here the Bohemians, and the Ratés"; but it is different in London. You may point out a street, correctly enough, as the abode of washerwomen; but, in that second floor, a man may be studying Chaldee roots, and in the garret over the way a forgotten artist is dying by inches.'

'The science of the big city; the dynamics of London; literally and metaphorically the most amazing topic that the human mind can imagine. What a remarkable salmi this is; definitely the ultimate goal of the pheasant. Yet I sometimes feel completely overwhelmed by the sheer size and complexity of London. A person can really come to understand Paris with a reasonable amount of study; but London remains a mystery. In Paris, you can say: "Here live the actresses, here the Bohemians, and the Ratés"; but it’s different in London. You can correctly identify a street as the home of washerwomen; but in that second-floor apartment, someone might be studying Chaldee roots, and in the attic across the way, a forgotten artist is slowly fading away.'

'I see you are Dyson, unchanged and unchangeable,' said Salisbury, slowly sipping his Chianti. 'I think you are misled by a too fervid imagination; the mystery of London exists only in your fancy. It seems to me a dull place enough. We seldom hear of a really artistic crime in London, whereas I believe Paris abounds in that sort of thing.'

'I see you are Dyson, the same as always,' said Salisbury, slowly sipping his Chianti. 'I think you let your imagination run wild; the mystery of London exists only in your mind. To me, it seems pretty boring. We hardly ever hear about a truly artistic crime in London, while I think Paris is full of that kind of thing.'

'Give me some more wine. Thanks. You are mistaken, my dear fellow, you are really mistaken. London has nothing to be ashamed of in the way of crime. Where we fail is for want of Homers, not Agamemnons. Carent quia vate sacro, you know.'

'Give me more wine. Thanks. You're mistaken, my friend, you're really mistaken. London has nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to crime. Our problem is that we lack Homers, not Agamemnons. Carent quia vate sacro, you know.'

'I recall the quotation. But I don't think I quite follow you.'

'I remember the quote, but I don't think I fully get what you mean.'

'Well, in plain language, we have no good writers in London who make a speciality of that kind of thing. Our common reporter is a dull dog; every story that he has to tell is spoilt in the telling. His idea of horror and of what excites horror is so lamentably deficient. Nothing will content the fellow but blood, vulgar red blood, and when he can get it he lays it on thick, and considers that he has produced a telling article. It's a poor notion. And, by some curious fatality, it is the most commonplace and brutal murders which always attract the most attention and get written up the most.[251] For instance, I dare say that you never heard of the Harlesden case?'

'Well, to put it simply, we don’t have any good writers in London who focus on that kind of thing. Our average reporter is pretty boring; every story he tells is ruined in the telling. His understanding of horror and what makes something horrifying is seriously lacking. Nothing satisfies him except blood—gory red blood—and when he gets it, he overdoes it and thinks he's created an impactful article. It's a bad idea. And, oddly enough, it's the most ordinary and brutal murders that always grab the most attention and get the most coverage.[251] For example, I bet you’ve never heard of the Harlesden case?'

'No; no, I don't remember anything about it.'

'No; no, I don’t remember anything about it.'

'Of course not. And yet the story is a curious one. I will tell it you over our coffee. Harlesden, you know, or I expect you don't know, is quite on the out-quarters of London; something curiously different from your fine old crusted suburb like Norwood or Hampstead, different as each of these is from the other. Hampstead, I mean, is where you look for the head of your great China house with his three acres of land and pine-houses, though of late there is the artistic substratum; while Norwood is the home of the prosperous middle-class family who took the house "because it was near the Palace," and sickened of the Palace six months afterwards; but Harlesden is a place of no character. It's too new to have any character as yet. There are the rows of red houses and the rows of white houses and the bright green Venetians, and the blistering doorways, and the little backyards they call gardens, and a few feeble shops, and then, just as you think you're going to grasp the physiognomy of the settlement, it all melts away.'

'Of course not. And yet the story is quite interesting. I’ll tell you over our coffee. Harlesden, you know, or maybe you don’t know, is on the outskirts of London; it's quite different from your nice, established suburbs like Norwood or Hampstead, each unique in its own way. Hampstead, I mean, is where you’d find the head of your big China business with his three acres of land and pine houses, although lately, there’s been an artistic vibe; while Norwood is the home of the successful middle-class family who chose the house "because it was near the Palace," and got tired of the Palace six months later; but Harlesden lacks any real character. It's too new for that yet. There are rows of red houses and rows of white houses, bright green window shutters, blistering doorways, and tiny backyards they call gardens, along with a few weak shops, and just when you think you’ve got a handle on what the area’s like, it all fades away.'

'How the dickens is that? the houses don't tumble down before one's eyes, I suppose!'

'What on earth is that? I assume the houses don’t just fall apart right in front of us!'

'Well, no, not exactly that. But Harlesden as an entity disappears. Your street turns into a quiet lane, and your staring houses into elm trees, and the back-gardens into green meadows. You pass instantly from town to country; there is no transition as in a small country town, no soft gradations of wider lawns and orchards, with houses gradually becoming less dense, but a dead stop. I believe the people who live there[252] mostly go into the City. I have seen once or twice a laden 'bus bound thitherwards. But however that may be, I can't conceive a greater loneliness in a desert at midnight than there is there at midday. It is like a city of the dead; the streets are glaring and desolate, and as you pass it suddenly strikes you that this too is part of London. Well, a year or two ago there was a doctor living there; he had set up his brass plate and his red lamp at the very end of one of those shining streets, and from the back of the house, the fields stretched away to the north. I don't know what his reason was in settling down in such an out-of-the-way place, perhaps Dr. Black, as we will call him, was a far-seeing man and looked ahead. His relations, so it appeared afterwards, had lost sight of him for many years and didn't even know he was a doctor, much less where he lived. However, there he was settled in Harlesden, with some fragments of a practice, and an uncommonly pretty wife. People used to see them walking out together in the summer evenings soon after they came to Harlesden, and, so far as could be observed, they seemed a very affectionate couple. These walks went on through the autumn, and then ceased; but, of course, as the days grew dark and the weather cold, the lanes near Harlesden might be expected to lose many of their attractions. All through the winter nobody saw anything of Mrs. Black; the doctor used to reply to his patients' inquiries that she was a "little out of sorts, would be better, no doubt, in the spring." But the spring came, and the summer, and no Mrs. Black appeared, and at last people began to rumour and talk amongst themselves, and all sorts of queer things were said at "high teas," which you may possibly[253] have heard are the only form of entertainment known in such suburbs. Dr. Black began to surprise some very odd looks cast in his direction, and the practice, such as it was, fell off before his eyes. In short, when the neighbours whispered about the matter, they whispered that Mrs. Black was dead, and that the doctor had made away with her. But this wasn't the case; Mrs. Black was seen alive in June. It was a Sunday afternoon, one of those few exquisite days that an English climate offers, and half London had strayed out into the fields, north, south, east, and west to smell the scent of the white May, and to see if the wild roses were yet in blossom in the hedges. I had gone out myself early in the morning, and had had a long ramble, and somehow or other as I was steering homeward I found myself in this very Harlesden we have been talking about. To be exact, I had a glass of beer in the "General Gordon," the most flourishing house in the neighbourhood, and as I was wandering rather aimlessly about, I saw an uncommonly tempting gap in a hedgerow, and resolved to explore the meadow beyond. Soft grass is very grateful to the feet after the infernal grit strewn on suburban sidewalks, and after walking about for some time I thought I should like to sit down on a bank and have a smoke. While I was getting out my pouch, I looked up in the direction of the houses, and as I looked I felt my breath caught back, and my teeth began to chatter, and the stick I had in one hand snapped in two with the grip I gave it. It was as if I had had an electric current down my spine, and yet for some moment of time which seemed long, but which must have been very short, I caught myself wondering what on earth was the matter.[254] Then I knew what had made my very heart shudder and my bones grind together in an agony. As I glanced up I had looked straight towards the last house in the row before me, and in an upper window of that house I had seen for some short fraction of a second a face. It was the face of a woman, and yet it was not human. You and I, Salisbury, have heard in our time, as we sat in our seats in church in sober English fashion, of a lust that cannot be satiated and of a fire that is unquenchable, but few of us have any notion what these words mean. I hope you never may, for as I saw that face at the window, with the blue sky above me and the warm air playing in gusts about me, I knew I had looked into another world—looked through the window of a commonplace, brand-new house, and seen hell open before me. When the first shock was over, I thought once or twice that I should have fainted; my face streamed with a cold sweat, and my breath came and went in sobs, as if I had been half drowned. I managed to get up at last, and walked round to the street, and there I saw the name "Dr. Black" on the post by the front gate. As fate or my luck would have it, the door opened and a man came down the steps as I passed by. I had no doubt it was the doctor himself. He was of a type rather common in London; long and thin, with a pasty face and a dull black moustache. He gave me a look as we passed each other on the pavement, and though it was merely the casual glance which one foot-passenger bestows on another, I felt convinced in my mind that here was an ugly customer to deal with. As you may imagine, I went my way a good deal puzzled and[255] horrified too by what I had seen; for I had paid another visit to the "General Gordon," and had got together a good deal of the common gossip of the place about the Blacks. I didn't mention the fact that I had seen a woman's face in the window; but I heard that Mrs. Black had been much admired for her beautiful golden hair, and round what had struck me with such a nameless terror, there was a mist of flowing yellow hair, as it were an aureole of glory round the visage of a satyr. The whole thing bothered me in an indescribable manner; and when I got home I tried my best to think of the impression I had received as an illusion, but it was no use. I knew very well I had seen what I have tried to describe to you, and I was morally certain that I had seen Mrs. Black. And then there was the gossip of the place, the suspicion of foul play, which I knew to be false, and my own conviction that there was some deadly mischief or other going on in that bright red house at the corner of Devon Road: how to construct a theory of a reasonable kind out of these two elements. In short, I found myself in a world of mystery; I puzzled my head over it and filled up my leisure moments by gathering together odd threads of speculation, but I never moved a step towards any real solution, and as the summer days went on the matter seemed to grow misty and indistinct, shadowing some vague terror, like a nightmare of last month. I suppose it would before long have faded into the background of my brain—I should not have forgotten it, for such a thing could never be forgotten—but one morning as I was looking over the paper my eye was caught by a heading over some two[256] dozen lines of small type. The words I had seen were simply, "The Harlesden Case," and I knew what I was going to read. Mrs. Black was dead. Black had called in another medical man to certify as to cause of death, and something or other had aroused the strange doctor's suspicions and there had been an inquest and post-mortem. And the result? That, I will confess, did astonish me considerably; it was the triumph of the unexpected. The two doctors who made the autopsy were obliged to confess that they could not discover the faintest trace of any kind of foul play; their most exquisite tests and reagents failed to detect the presence of poison in the most infinitesimal quantity. Death, they found, had been caused by a somewhat obscure and scientifically interesting form of brain disease. The tissue of the brain and the molecules of the grey matter had undergone a most extraordinary series of changes; and the younger of the two doctors, who has some reputation, I believe, as a specialist in brain trouble, made some remarks in giving his evidence which struck me deeply at the time, though I did not then grasp their full significance. He said: "At the commencement of the examination I was astonished to find appearances of a character entirely new to me, notwithstanding my somewhat large experience. I need not specify these appearances at present, it will be sufficient for me to state that as I proceeded in my task I could scarcely believe that the brain before me was that of a human being at all." There was some surprise at this statement, as you may imagine, and the coroner asked the doctor if he meant to say that the brain resembled that of an animal. "No," he replied, "I should not put it in that way.[257] Some of the appearances I noticed seemed to point in that direction, but others, and these were the more surprising, indicated a nervous organization of a wholly different character from that either of man or the lower animals." It was a curious thing to say, but of course the jury brought in a verdict of death from natural causes, and, so far as the public was concerned, the case came to an end. But after I had read what the doctor said I made up my mind that I should like to know a good deal more, and I set to work on what seemed likely to prove an interesting investigation. I had really a good deal of trouble, but I was successful in a measure. Though why—my dear fellow, I had no notion at the time. Are you aware that we have been here nearly four hours? The waiters are staring at us. Let's have the bill and be gone.'

'Well, no, not quite that. But Harlesden as a place just vanishes. Your street turns into a quiet lane, and the houses you’re staring at become elm trees, while the backyards turn into green meadows. You instantly transition from the city to the countryside; there’s no gradual shift like in a small town, with wider lawns and orchards, where the houses gradually become less dense, but a hard stop. I believe the people who live there mostly head into the City. I’ve seen a bus heading that way once or twice. Regardless, I can’t imagine a greater loneliness in a desert at midnight than what you feel there at midday. It’s like a city of the dead; the streets are glaring and desolate, and as you pass by, it suddenly hits you that this too is part of London. A year or two ago, there was a doctor living there; he had put up his brass plate and his red lamp at the very end of one of those shining streets, and from the back of the house, the fields stretched away to the north. I’m not sure why he settled in such an isolated spot; perhaps Dr. Black, as we’ll call him, was a forward-thinking man. His relatives, as it turned out later, had lost track of him for many years and didn’t even know he was a doctor, let alone where he lived. Yet there he was, settled in Harlesden, with a few patients and an unusually pretty wife. People used to see them out for walks together in the summer evenings soon after they arrived in Harlesden, and they appeared to be a very affectionate couple. These walks continued into the autumn and then stopped; but naturally, as the days became darker and the weather colder, the lanes near Harlesden would lose many of their charms. Throughout the winter, no one saw anything of Mrs. Black; the doctor would tell his patients she was "a little under the weather, would be better, no doubt, in the spring." But spring came, then summer, and still no sign of Mrs. Black, and eventually, people began to gossip and speculate, and all sorts of strange things were said at “high teas,” which you might have heard are the only form of entertainment in such suburbs. Dr. Black started receiving some very odd looks cast his way, and the practice, such as it was, dwindled before his eyes. In short, when the neighbors whispered about it, they suggested that Mrs. Black was dead and that the doctor had done something to her. But this wasn’t true; Mrs. Black was seen alive in June. It was a Sunday afternoon, one of those rare, beautiful days that the English climate offers, and half of London had wandered into the fields, north, south, east, and west, to enjoy the scent of the white May flowers and check if the wild roses were blooming in the hedges. I had gone out myself early that morning and had a long walk, and somehow I found myself back in this very Harlesden we’ve been discussing. To be precise, I had a beer at the "General Gordon," the most popular pub in the area, and while wandering somewhat aimlessly, I noticed a particularly inviting gap in a hedgerow and decided to explore the meadow beyond. Soft grass feels wonderful on the feet after the terrible grit on suburban sidewalks, and after walking around for a while, I thought I’d like to sit on a bank and have a smoke. While I was retrieving my pouch, I looked up towards the houses, and as I did, my breath caught, my teeth began to chatter, and the stick I held snapped in two from my grip. It felt like an electric jolt down my spine, and for a moment that felt long, but must have been very short, I found myself wondering what on earth was wrong. Then I realized what had made my heart race and my bones ache in agony. As I glanced up, I looked directly at the last house in the row before me, and for a brief moment, I saw a face in an upper window of that house. It was the face of a woman, but it didn’t look human. You and I, Salisbury, have heard in our time, while sitting soberly in church, about an insatiable lust and an unquenchable fire, but few of us truly know what those words mean. I hope you never do, because when I saw that face at the window, with the blue sky above me and the warm air swirling around me, I knew I had peered into another world—looked through the window of a standard, brand-new house and seen hell open before me. Once the initial shock wore off, I thought I might faint a couple of times; my face was dripping with cold sweat, and my breath came in sobs, like I had almost drowned. Eventually, I managed to get up and walked around to the street, where I saw the name "Dr. Black" on the post by the front gate. As fate would have it, the door opened, and a man came down the steps as I walked by. I had no doubt it was the doctor himself. He was a type you see often in London; tall and thin, with a pale face and a dull black mustache. He gave me a glance as we passed on the pavement, and even though it was just a casual look one pedestrian gives to another, I felt certain in my mind that this was someone unpleasant to deal with. You can imagine I walked away feeling quite puzzled and horrified by what I had seen; I had paid another visit to the "General Gordon" and picked up a lot of the local gossip about the Blacks. I didn’t mention that I had seen a woman’s face in the window; I heard instead that Mrs. Black was admired for her beautiful golden hair, and what had struck me with such unnamed terror was surrounded by a mist of flowing yellow hair, as if it were a halo of glory around the face of a satyr. The whole thing troubled me in an indescribable way, and when I got home, I tried my best to convince myself that what I had experienced was just an illusion, but it didn’t work. I knew for sure that I had seen what I’ve tried to describe to you, and I was morally convinced that I had seen Mrs. Black. Plus, there was all the local gossip, the suspicion of foul play, which I knew wasn’t true, and my own belief that there was some deadly mischief happening in that bright red house at the corner of Devon Road. I struggled to create a reasonable theory from these two elements. In short, I found myself in a world of mystery; I puzzled over it and spent my free time piecing together odd threads of speculation, but I never got any closer to a real solution, and as the summer days rolled on, the situation seemed to grow vague and indistinct, casting a shadow of some vague terror, like a nightmare from last month. I suppose it would eventually have faded into the background of my mind—I’d never forget it, as such a thing could never be forgotten—but one morning, as I was looking through the paper, a headline caught my eye over some two dozen lines of tiny print. The words I saw were simply, "The Harlesden Case," and I knew what I was about to read. Mrs. Black was dead. Black had called in another doctor to certify the cause of death, and something had aroused the second doctor’s suspicions, leading to an inquest and a post-mortem. And the outcome? I will confess, it astonished me considerably; it was the triumph of the unexpected. The two doctors who conducted the autopsy had to admit they could find no trace of foul play whatsoever; their most refined tests and reagents failed to detect any poison, even in the tiniest amount. They found that death was caused by a rather obscure and scientifically intriguing form of brain disease. The brain tissue and the molecules of grey matter had undergone an extraordinary series of changes, and the younger of the two doctors, who I believe has some reputation as a specialist in brain disorders, made some remarks while giving his evidence that struck me deeply at the time, even though I didn’t fully understand their significance. He said: "At the start of the examination, I was amazed to find characteristics entirely new to me, despite my relatively large experience. I don’t need to specify these characteristics now; it will suffice for me to state that as I continued my work, I could hardly believe that the brain before me belonged to a human being at all." There was some surprise at this statement, as you can imagine, and the coroner asked the doctor if he meant to say the brain resembled that of an animal. "No," he replied, "I wouldn’t put it that way. Some of the features I noticed seemed to point in that direction, but others, which were even more surprising, indicated a nervous organization of a completely different character from either humans or lower animals." It was a strange thing to say, but of course, the jury returned a verdict of death from natural causes and, as far as the public was concerned, the case was closed. However, after reading what the doctor said, I decided I wanted to learn much more, and I began what seemed to be an interesting investigation. I encountered quite a bit of trouble but was somewhat successful. Why that was—I had no idea at the time. Do you realize we’ve been here nearly four hours? The waiters are staring at us. Let’s ask for the bill and get out of here.'

The two men went out in silence, and stood a moment in the cool air, watching the hurrying traffic of Coventry Street pass before them to the accompaniment of the ringing bells of hansoms and the cries of the newsboys; the deep far murmur of London surging up ever and again from beneath these louder noises.

The two men stepped outside quietly and paused for a moment in the cool air, observing the busy traffic on Coventry Street as it moved past them, accompanied by the ringing bells of carriages and the shouts of newsboys; the deep, distant hum of London rising frequently from beneath these louder sounds.

'It is a strange case, isn't it?' said Dyson at length. 'What do you think of it?'

'It's a weird situation, isn't it?' Dyson said after a while. 'What are your thoughts on it?'

'My dear fellow, I haven't heard the end, so I will reserve my opinion. When will you give me the sequel?'

'My dear friend, I haven't heard the whole story, so I'll hold off on my opinion. When will you tell me what happens next?'

'Come to my rooms some evening; say next Thursday. Here's the address. Good-night; I want to get down to the Strand.' Dyson hailed a passing hansom, and Salisbury turned northward to walk home to his lodgings.[258]

'Come to my place one evening; let's say next Thursday. Here's the address. Good night; I need to head down to the Strand.' Dyson flagged down a passing cab, and Salisbury walked north to get back to his place.[258]

II

Mr. Salisbury, as may have been gathered from the few remarks which he had found it possible to introduce in the course of the evening, was a young gentleman of a peculiarly solid form of intellect, coy and retiring before the mysterious and the uncommon, with a constitutional dislike of paradox. During the restaurant dinner he had been forced to listen in almost absolute silence to a strange tissue of improbabilities strung together with the ingenuity of a born meddler in plots and mysteries, and it was with a feeling of weariness that he crossed Shaftesbury Avenue, and dived into the recesses of Soho, for his lodgings were in a modest neighbourhood to the north of Oxford Street. As he walked he speculated on the probable fate of Dyson, relying on literature, unbefriended by a thoughtful relative, and could not help concluding that so much subtlety united to a too vivid imagination would in all likelihood have been rewarded with a pair of sandwich-boards or a super's banner. Absorbed in this train of thought, and admiring the perverse dexterity which could transmute the face of a sickly woman and a case of brain disease into the crude elements of romance, Salisbury strayed on through the dimly-lighted streets, not noticing the gusty wind which drove sharply round corners and whirled the stray rubbish of the pavement into the air in eddies, while black clouds gathered over the sickly yellow moon. Even a stray drop or two of rain blown into his face did not rouse him from his meditations, and it was only when[259] with a sudden rush the storm tore down upon the street that he began to consider the expediency of finding some shelter. The rain, driven by the wind, pelted down with the violence of a thunderstorm, dashing up from the stones and hissing through the air, and soon a perfect torrent of water coursed along the kennels and accumulated in pools over the choked-up drains. The few stray passengers who had been loafing rather than walking about the street had scuttered away, like frightened rabbits, to some invisible places of refuge, and though Salisbury whistled loud and long for a hansom, no hansom appeared. He looked about him, as if to discover how far he might be from the haven of Oxford Street, but strolling carelessly along, he had turned out of his way, and found himself in an unknown region, and one to all appearance devoid even of a public-house where shelter could be bought for the modest sum of twopence. The street lamps were few and at long intervals, and burned behind grimy glasses with the sickly light of oil, and by this wavering glimmer Salisbury could make out the shadowy and vast old houses of which the street was composed. As he passed along, hurrying, and shrinking from the full sweep of the rain, he noticed the innumerable bell-handles, with names that seemed about to vanish of old age graven on brass plates beneath them, and here and there a richly carved penthouse overhung the door, blackening with the grime of fifty years. The storm seemed to grow more and more furious; he was wet through, and a new hat had become a ruin, and still Oxford Street seemed as far off as ever; it was with deep relief that the dripping man caught sight of a dark archway which seemed to promise shelter from[260] the rain if not from the wind. Salisbury took up his position in the driest corner and looked about him; he was standing in a kind of passage contrived under part of a house, and behind him stretched a narrow footway leading between blank walls to regions unknown. He had stood there for some time, vainly endeavouring to rid himself of some of his superfluous moisture, and listening for the passing wheel of a hansom, when his attention was aroused by a loud noise coming from the direction of the passage behind, and growing louder as it drew nearer. In a couple of minutes he could make out the shrill, raucous voice of a woman, threatening and renouncing, and making the very stones echo with her accents, while now and then a man grumbled and expostulated. Though to all appearance devoid of romance, Salisbury had some relish for street rows, and was, indeed, somewhat of an amateur in the more amusing phases of drunkenness; he therefore composed himself to listen and observe with something of the air of a subscriber to grand opera. To his annoyance, however, the tempest seemed suddenly to be composed, and he could hear nothing but the impatient steps of the woman and the slow lurch of the man as they came towards him. Keeping back in the shadow of the wall, he could see the two drawing nearer; the man was evidently drunk, and had much ado to avoid frequent collision with the wall as he tacked across from one side to the other, like some bark beating up against a wind. The woman was looking straight in front of her, with tears streaming from her eyes, but suddenly as they went by[261] the flame blazed up again, and she burst forth into a torrent of abuse, facing round upon her companion.

Mr. Salisbury, as you might have gathered from the few comments he managed to make throughout the evening, was a young man with a notably solid intellect, shy and reserved when faced with the mysterious and the unusual, and he had a natural aversion to paradox. During dinner at the restaurant, he had to listen in almost complete silence to a bizarre mix of improbabilities woven together with the creativity of someone who was a natural born meddler in stories and mysteries. With a sense of weariness, he crossed Shaftesbury Avenue and headed into the depths of Soho, since his lodgings were in a modest area north of Oxford Street. As he walked, he pondered the likely fate of Dyson, who was relying on literature without the support of a caring relative, and he couldn’t help but think that such subtleness combined with an overly vivid imagination would probably end up with him wearing sandwich boards or a performer’s banner. Lost in his thoughts and admiring the twisted skill that could turn the face of a sickly woman and a brain disorder into the basic elements of romance, Salisbury wandered through the dimly lit streets, oblivious to the gusty wind that whipped around corners and tossed bits of litter into the air. Dark clouds were gathering over the sickly yellow moon. Even a few raindrops that splashed onto his face didn't break his concentration, and it was only when the storm suddenly rushed down onto the street that he began to think about finding some shelter. The rain, driven by the wind, poured down like a thunderstorm, splashing up from the pavement and hissing through the air, and soon a torrent of water was racing along the gutters and pooling over the blocked drains. The few straggling pedestrians, who had been loafing rather than walking, darted away like scared rabbits to unseen places of refuge, and although Salisbury whistled loudly and for a long time for a cab, none appeared. He looked around as if to see how far he might be from the safety of Oxford Street, but while walking carelessly, he had gone off track and found himself in an unfamiliar area, one that appeared to have no pub where he could find shelter for a modest sum of two pence. The streetlamps were sparse and spaced far apart, burning behind dirty glass with the sickly glow of oil, and by this flickering light, Salisbury could make out the shadowy, old houses that lined the street. As he hurried along, trying to avoid the full force of the rain, he noticed the countless bell-handles, each with names that looked like they were about to fade from old age engraved on brass plates beneath them, and here and there a beautifully carved porch hung over a door, darkening with fifty years of grime. The storm seemed to grow fiercer; he was soaked through, and his new hat was ruined, yet Oxford Street still felt as far away as ever. It was with great relief that the drenched man spotted a dark archway that seemed to promise some shelter from the rain, if not the wind. Salisbury took position in the driest corner and looked around; he was inside what seemed like a kind of passage under part of a house, and behind him stretched a narrow walkway leading between blank walls into unknown places. He had been standing there for a while, unsuccessfully trying to dry off and listening for the wheels of a cab, when he was alerted by a loud noise coming from the passage behind him, and it grew louder as it approached. In a couple of minutes, he could distinguish the shrill, raspy voice of a woman, threatening and shouting, filling the air with her words, while occasionally a man complained and protested. Though the scene appeared devoid of romance, Salisbury had a certain appreciation for street altercations and was, in fact, somewhat of an enthusiast when it came to the more entertaining aspects of drunkenness; he therefore settled in to watch with the air of a spectator at a grand opera. To his annoyance, however, the storm seemed to quiet down suddenly, and he could hear nothing but the hurried footsteps of the woman and the slow stumble of the man as they approached him. Staying back in the shadows, he could see them getting closer; the man was clearly drunk and struggled to keep from bumping into the wall as he swayed from side to side, like a small boat tacking against the wind. The woman was looking straight ahead, tears streaming down her face, but suddenly, as they passed by, the drama flared up again, and she unleashed a torrent of insults, turning to face her companion.

'You low rascal, you mean, contemptible cur,' she went on, after an incoherent storm of curses, 'you think I'm to work and slave for you always, I suppose, while you're after that Green Street girl and drinking every penny you've got? But you're mistaken, Sam—indeed, I'll bear it no longer. Damn you, you dirty thief, I've done with you and your master too, so you can go your own errands, and I only hope they'll get you into trouble.'

'You low scoundrel, you miserable, worthless dog,' she continued after an incoherent outburst of insults, 'you think I'm just going to work and slave for you forever while you're off chasing that girl from Green Street and spending every penny you have? But you're wrong, Sam—I'm not putting up with this anymore. Damn you, you filthy thief, I'm done with you and your boss too, so you can run your own errands, and I just hope they land you in trouble.'

The woman tore at the bosom of her dress, and taking something out that looked like paper, crumpled it up and flung it away. It fell at Salisbury's feet. She ran out and disappeared in the darkness, while the man lurched slowly into the street, grumbling indistinctly to himself in a perplexed tone of voice. Salisbury looked out after him and saw him maundering along the pavement, halting now and then and swaying indecisively, and then starting off at some fresh tangent. The sky had cleared, and white fleecy clouds were fleeting across the moon, high in the heaven. The light came and went by turns, as the clouds passed by, and, turning round as the clear, white rays shone into the passage, Salisbury saw the little ball of crumpled paper which the woman had cast down. Oddly curious to know what it might contain, he picked it up and put it in his pocket, and set out afresh on his journey.[262]

The woman ripped the front of her dress, pulled out something that looked like paper, crumpled it up, and tossed it away. It landed at Salisbury's feet. She ran off and vanished into the darkness, while the man staggered slowly into the street, muttering to himself in a confused tone. Salisbury watched him go and saw him wandering along the sidewalk, stopping every now and then and swaying uncertainly, before veering off in another direction. The sky had cleared, and fluffy white clouds were racing across the moon high above. The light flickered on and off as the clouds moved by, and turning around as the bright white rays shone into the alley, Salisbury spotted the crumpled ball of paper the woman had dropped. Curiously wanting to see what it held, he picked it up, put it in his pocket, and continued on his journey.[262]

III

Salisbury was a man of habit. When he got home, drenched to the skin, his clothes hanging lank about him, and a ghastly dew besmearing his hat, his only thought was of his health, of which he took studious care. So, after changing his clothes and encasing himself in a warm dressing-gown, he proceeded to prepare a sudorific in the shape of a hot gin and water, warming the latter over one of those spirit-lamps which mitigate the austerities of the modern hermit's life. By the time this preparation had been exhibited, and Salisbury's disturbed feelings had been soothed by a pipe of tobacco, he was able to get into bed in a happy state of vacancy, without a thought of his adventure in the dark archway, or of the weird fancies with which Dyson had seasoned his dinner. It was the same at breakfast the next morning, for Salisbury made a point of not thinking of any thing until that meal was over; but when the cup and saucer were cleared away, and the morning pipe was lit, he remembered the little ball of paper, and began fumbling in the pockets of his wet coat. He did not remember into which pocket he had put it, and as he dived now into one and now into another, he experienced a strange feeling of apprehension lest it should not be there at all, though he could not for the life of him have explained the importance he attached to what was in all probability mere rubbish. But he sighed with relief[263] when his fingers touched the crumpled surface in an inside pocket, and he drew it out gently and laid it on the little desk by his easy-chair with as much care as if it had been some rare jewel. Salisbury sat smoking and staring at his find for a few minutes, an odd temptation to throw the thing in the fire and have done with it struggling with as odd a speculation as to its possible contents, and as to the reason why the infuriated woman should have flung a bit of paper from her with such vehemence. As might be expected, it was the latter feeling that conquered in the end, and yet it was with something like repugnance that he at last took the paper and unrolled it, and laid it out before him. It was a piece of common dirty paper, to all appearance torn out of a cheap exercise-book, and in the middle were a few lines written in a queer cramped hand. Salisbury bent his head and stared eagerly at it for a moment, drawing a long breath, and then fell back in his chair gazing blankly before him, till at last with a sudden revulsion he burst into a peal of laughter, so long and loud and uproarious that the landlady's baby on the floor below awoke from sleep and echoed his mirth with hideous yells. But he laughed again and again, and took the paper up to read a second time what seemed such meaningless nonsense.

Salisbury was a creature of habit. When he got home, soaked to the bone, his clothes hanging loosely on him, and a nasty dampness ruining his hat, his only concern was his health, which he took great care of. So, after changing his clothes and wrapping himself in a warm robe, he set about making a soothing drink of hot gin and water, warming the water over one of those spirit lamps that help ease the struggles of modern life. By the time he finished his drink and calmed his frazzled nerves with a pipe of tobacco, he was able to get into bed in a relaxed state, with no thoughts about his encounter in the dark archway or the creepy stories Dyson had added to his dinner. Breakfast was the same the next morning; Salisbury always made sure not to think about anything until after that meal. But once the cup and saucer were cleared away and he lit his morning pipe, he remembered the little ball of paper and started rummaging through the pockets of his wet coat. He couldn’t recall which pocket he had stuffed it in, and as he dipped into one and then another, he felt a strange sense of dread that it might not be there at all, even though he couldn't quite explain why he felt so attached to something that was probably just trash. But he sighed with relief when his fingers brushed against the crumpled surface in an inner pocket, and he gently pulled it out and placed it on the little desk next to his easy chair as carefully as if it were a rare gem. Salisbury sat smoking and staring at his find for a few minutes, a strange urge to toss it into the fire battling with curiosity about what it might contain and why the furious woman had thrown it away so forcefully. As expected, curiosity won out in the end, but he unrolled the paper with an odd sense of distaste and laid it out in front of him. It was a piece of worn and dirty paper, looking like it had been torn from a cheap notebook, and in the middle were a few lines written in a strange, cramped handwriting. Salisbury leaned in and eagerly examined it for a moment, took a deep breath, then fell back in his chair, staring blankly ahead until suddenly, he burst into a fit of laughter so long and loud that the landlady’s baby downstairs woke up and joined in with distressed wails. But he laughed again and again, picking up the paper to read it a second time, finding it as completely nonsensical as before.

'Q. has had to go and see his friends in Paris,' it began. 'Traverse Handle S. "Once around the grass, and twice around the lass, and thrice around the maple tree."'

'Q. has had to go and see his friends in Paris,' it began. 'Traverse Handle S. "Once around the grass, and twice around the girl, and three times around the maple tree."'

Salisbury took up the paper and crumpled it as the angry woman had done, and aimed it at the fire. He[264] did not throw it there, however, but tossed it carelessly into the well of the desk, and laughed again. The sheer folly of the thing offended him, and he was ashamed of his own eager speculation, as one who pores over the high-sounding announcements in the agony column of the daily paper, and finds nothing but advertisement and triviality. He walked to the window, and stared out at the languid morning life of his quarter; the maids in slatternly print dresses washing door-steps, the fish-monger and the butcher on their rounds, and the tradesmen standing at the doors of their small shops, drooping for lack of trade and excitement. In the distance a blue haze gave some grandeur to the prospect, but the view as a whole was depressing, and would only have interested a student of the life of London, who finds something rare and choice in its very aspect. Salisbury turned away in disgust, and settled himself in the easy-chair, upholstered in a bright shade of green, and decked with yellow gimp, which was the pride and attraction of the apartments. Here he composed himself to his morning's occupation—the perusal of a novel that dealt with sport and love in a manner that suggested the collaboration of a stud-groom and a ladies' college. In an ordinary way, however, Salisbury would have been carried on by the interest of the story up to lunch-time, but this morning he fidgeted in and out of his chair, took the book up and laid it down again, and swore at last to himself and at himself in mere irritation. In point of fact the jingle of the paper found in the archway had 'got into his head,' and do what he would he could not help muttering over and over, 'Once around the grass, and twice around the lass, and thrice around[265] the maple tree.' It became a positive pain, like the foolish burden of a music-hall song, everlastingly quoted, and sung at all hours of the day and night, and treasured by the street-boys as an unfailing resource for six months together. He went out into the streets, and tried to forget his enemy in the jostling of the crowds and the roar and clatter of the traffic, but presently he would find himself stealing quietly aside, and pacing some deserted byway, vainly puzzling his brains, and trying to fix some meaning to phrases that were meaningless. It was a positive relief when Thursday came, and he remembered that he had made an appointment to go and see Dyson; the flimsy reveries of the self-styled man of letters appeared entertaining when compared with this ceaseless iteration, this maze of thought from which there seemed no possibility of escape. Dyson's abode was in one of the quietest of the quiet streets that led down from the Strand to the river, and when Salisbury passed from the narrow stairway into his friend's room, he saw that the uncle had been beneficent indeed. The floor glowed and flamed with all the colours of the East; it was, as Dyson pompously remarked, 'a sunset in a dream,' and the lamplight, the twilight of London streets, was shut out with strangely worked curtains, glittering here and there with threads of gold. In the shelves of an oak armoire stood jars and plates of old French china, and the black and white of etchings not to be found in the Haymarket or in Bond Street, stood out against the splendour of a Japanese paper. Salisbury sat down on the settle by the hearth, and sniffed the mingled fumes of incense and tobacco, wondering and dumb before all this splendour after the green rep and the oleographs,[266] the gilt-framed mirror, and the lustres of his own apartment.

Salisbury picked up the paper and crumpled it like the angry woman had, aiming it at the fire. He didn't actually throw it there, though; instead, he tossed it carelessly into the well of the desk and laughed again. The sheer ridiculousness of it annoyed him, and he felt ashamed of his own eager curiosity, like someone who scans the grand announcements in the agony column of a daily paper only to find nothing but ads and trivial news. He walked to the window, staring out at the lazy morning life of his neighborhood: maids in messy print dresses washing doorsteps, the fishmonger and butcher doing their rounds, and shopkeepers standing at the doors of their small shops, looking bored from lack of business and excitement. In the distance, a blue haze added some charm to the scene, but the overall view was depressing and would only interest a student of London life, who could find something unique in its very appearance. Salisbury turned away in disgust and settled into the easy chair, covered in bright green fabric and adorned with yellow trim, which was the pride and charm of his apartment. Here, he tried to focus on his morning activity—reading a novel about sports and love that seemed like it was written by a stable hand and a women's college. Normally, Salisbury would have been engrossed in the story until lunchtime, but that morning he fidgeted in and out of his chair, picked up the book and put it down again, and eventually muttered to himself in frustration. The silly jingle from the paper he found in the archway had gotten stuck in his head, and no matter what he did, he couldn't stop muttering, "Once around the grass, and twice around the lass, and thrice around the maple tree." It became a real annoyance, like a catchy music-hall song that stuck in your mind, sung at all hours and cherished by street kids as a go-to for months. He stepped into the streets, trying to forget this annoying tune amidst the bustling crowd and the noise of traffic, but soon found himself drifting off to a quiet side street, trying in vain to make sense of pointless phrases. It was a relief when Thursday arrived, and he remembered he had an appointment to see Dyson; the fantasies of this self-proclaimed man of letters felt entertaining compared to this relentless repetition, this maze of thoughts with no apparent way out. Dyson lived on one of the quietest streets that led from the Strand to the river, and when Salisbury exited the narrow stairway into his friend's room, he could see that Dyson's uncle had truly been generous. The floor was blazing with all the colors of the East; it was, as Dyson pompously said, "a sunset in a dream," and the lamplight blocked out London's twilight through beautifully crafted curtains that sparkled with threads of gold. In an oak wardrobe, jars and plates of old French china lined the shelves, and black-and-white etchings not found in the Haymarket or Bond Street contrasted with exquisite Japanese paper. Salisbury sat down on the settle by the hearth, inhaling the mixed scents of incense and tobacco, feeling both amazed and speechless by all this splendor compared to his own green upholstery and oleographs, the gilt-framed mirror, and the chandeliers.

'I am glad you have come,' said Dyson. 'Comfortable little room, isn't it? But you don't look very well, Salisbury. Nothing disagreed with you, has it?'

'I’m glad you’re here,' said Dyson. 'Nice little room, right? But you don’t look so good, Salisbury. Nothing upset your stomach, did it?'

'No; but I have been a good deal bothered for the last few days. The fact is I had an odd kind of—of—adventure, I suppose I may call it, that night I saw you, and it has worried me a good deal. And the provoking part of it is that it's the merest nonsense—but, however, I will tell you all about it, by and by. You were going to let me have the rest of that odd story you began at the restaurant.'

'No; but I've been really bothered for the past few days. The truth is, I had a strange kind of—adventure, I guess I can call it, that night I saw you, and it's been on my mind a lot. And the frustrating thing is that it’s all just silly nonsense—but, anyway, I'll tell you all about it later. You were going to share the rest of that odd story you started at the restaurant.'

'Yes. But I am afraid, Salisbury, you are incorrigible. You are a slave to what you call matter of fact. You know perfectly well that in your heart you think the oddness in that case is of my making, and that it is all really as plain as the police reports. However, as I have begun, I will go on. But first we will have something to drink, and you may as well light your pipe.'

'Yes. But I'm afraid, Salisbury, you're impossible. You're a slave to what you call facts. Deep down, you know that the weirdness in that case is of my making and that it's actually as clear as the police reports. Still, since I've started, I’ll continue. But first, let’s have something to drink, and you might as well light your pipe.'

Dyson went up to the oak cupboard, and drew from its depths a rotund bottle and two little glasses, quaintly gilded.

Dyson walked over to the oak cupboard and pulled out a round bottle and two small, charmingly gold-rimmed glasses.

'It's Benedictine,' he said. 'You'll have some, won't you?'

'It's Benedictine,' he said. 'You'll have some, right?'

Salisbury assented, and the two men sat sipping and smoking reflectively for some minutes before Dyson began.

Salisbury agreed, and the two men sat sipping and smoking thoughtfully for a few minutes before Dyson started.

'Let me see,' he said at last, 'we were at the inquest, weren't we? No, we had done with that. Ah, I remember. I was telling you that on the whole I had been successful in my inquiries, investigation, or whatever[267] you like to call it, into the matter. Wasn't that where I left off?'

'Let me think,' he said finally, 'we were at the inquest, right? No, we had finished that. Ah, I remember now. I was saying that overall I had been successful in my inquiries, investigation, or whatever[267] you want to call it, about the matter. Wasn't that where I left off?'

'Yes, that was it. To be precise, I think "though" was the last word you said on the matter.'

'Yes, that was it. To be exact, I think "though" was the last word you said about it.'

'Exactly. I have been thinking it all over since the other night, and I have come to the conclusion that that "though" is a very big "though" indeed. Not to put too fine a point on it, I have had to confess that what I found out, or thought I found out, amounts in reality to nothing. I am as far away from the heart of the case as ever. However, I may as well tell you what I do know. You may remember my saying that I was impressed a good deal by some remarks of one of the doctors who gave evidence at the inquest. Well, I determined that my first step must be to try if I could get something more definite and intelligible out of that doctor. Somehow or other I managed to get an introduction to the man, and he gave me an appointment to come and see him. He turned out to be a pleasant, genial fellow; rather young and not in the least like the typical medical man, and he began the conference by offering me whisky and cigars. I didn't think it worth while to beat about the bush, so I began by saying that part of his evidence at the Harlesden Inquest struck me as very peculiar, and I gave him the printed report, with the sentences in question underlined. He just glanced at the slip, and gave me a queer look. "It struck you as peculiar, did it?" said he. "Well, you must remember that the Harlesden case was very peculiar. In fact, I think I may safely say that in some features it was unique—quite unique." "Quite so," I replied, "and that's exactly why it interests me, and why I want to know more about it. And I thought[268] that if anybody could give me any information it would be you. What is your opinion of the matter?"

'Exactly. I’ve been thinking this over since the other night, and I’ve realized that that "though" is a really big "though." To put it bluntly, I have to admit that what I discovered, or thought I discovered, actually amounts to nothing. I’m just as far from the heart of the case as ever. Anyway, I might as well tell you what I do know. You might remember me saying that I was really impressed by some comments from one of the doctors who testified at the inquest. So, I figured my first step should be to see if I could get something more clear and understandable from that doctor. Somehow, I managed to get an introduction to him, and he set up an appointment for me to meet him. He turned out to be a nice, friendly guy; pretty young and nothing like the typical doctor, and he started our meeting by offering me whiskey and cigars. I didn’t think it was worth it to beat around the bush, so I went straight to the point, saying that part of his testimony at the Harlesden Inquest seemed very strange to me, and I handed him the printed report with the relevant sentences underlined. He just glanced at the paper and gave me a weird look. "It struck you as strange, did it?" he said. "Well, you have to remember that the Harlesden case was very unusual. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that in some ways it was unique—completely unique." "Exactly," I replied, "and that’s precisely why I’m interested and why I want to know more about it. And I thought[268] if anyone could provide me with information, it would be you. What’s your take on the matter?"

'It was a pretty downright sort of question, and my doctor looked rather taken aback.

'It was a pretty straightforward question, and my doctor looked a bit surprised.'

'"Well," he said, "as I fancy your motive in inquiring into the question must be mere curiosity, I think I may tell you my opinion with tolerable freedom. So, Mr., Mr. Dyson? if you want to know my theory, it is this: I believe that Dr. Black killed his wife."

"Well," he said, "since I think your reason for asking about this is probably just curiosity, I feel free to share my opinion. So, Mr. Dyson, if you want to know my theory, here it is: I believe Dr. Black killed his wife."

'"But the verdict," I answered, "the verdict was given from your own evidence."

"But the verdict," I replied, "the verdict was based on your own evidence."

'"Quite so; the verdict was given in accordance with the evidence of my colleague and myself, and, under the circumstances, I think the jury acted very sensibly. In fact, I don't see what else they could have done. But I stick to my opinion, mind you, and I say this also. I don't wonder at Black's doing what I firmly believe he did. I think he was justified."

"Absolutely; the verdict was based on the evidence provided by my colleague and me, and given the situation, I believe the jury made a sensible decision. Honestly, I can't think of what else they could have done. However, I stand by my opinion, and I'll add this as well. I’m not surprised by Black's actions, which I truly believe he took. I think he was justified."

'"Justified! How could that be?" I asked. I was astonished, as you may imagine, at the answer I had got. The doctor wheeled round his chair and looked steadily at me for a moment before he answered.

'"Justified! How can that be?" I asked. I was shocked, as you can imagine, by the answer I had received. The doctor turned his chair to face me and stared at me for a moment before he replied.

'"I suppose you are not a man of science yourself? No; then it would be of no use my going into detail. I have always been firmly opposed myself to any partnership between physiology and psychology. I believe that both are bound to suffer. No one recognizes more decidedly than I do the impassable gulf, the fathomless abyss that separates the world of consciousness from the sphere of matter. We know that every change of consciousness is accompanied by a rearrangement of the molecules in the grey matter; and that is[269] all. What the link between them is, or why they occur together, we do not know, and most authorities believe that we never can know. Yet, I will tell you that as I did my work, the knife in my hand, I felt convinced, in spite of all theories, that what lay before me was not the brain of a dead woman—not the brain of a human being at all. Of course I saw the face; but it was quite placid, devoid of all expression. It must have been a beautiful face, no doubt, but I can honestly say that I would not have looked in that face when there was life behind it for a thousand guineas, no, nor for twice that sum."

"I guess you’re not a scientist yourself? No? Then it wouldn’t make sense for me to go into details. I've always been strongly against any partnership between physiology and psychology. I think both fields are destined to suffer. No one acknowledges the unbridgeable gap, the endless void that separates the world of consciousness from the realm of matter more than I do. We know that every shift in consciousness is linked to a rearrangement of the molecules in the gray matter; and that’s all there is to it. We don’t know what the connection is between them or why they happen together, and most experts believe we never will know. Yet, I’ll tell you that as I worked with the knife in my hand, I was convinced, despite all theories, that what lay before me was not the brain of a dead woman—not the brain of a human being at all. Of course I saw the face, but it was completely calm, lacking any expression. It must have been a beautiful face, no doubt, but I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have wanted to look into that face when there was life behind it for a thousand guineas, no, not even for double that amount."

'"My dear sir," I said, "you surprise me extremely. You say that it was not the brain of a human being. What was it then?"

'"My dear sir," I said, "you really surprise me. You say it wasn't the brain of a human. So, what was it then?"

'"The brain of a devil." He spoke quite coolly, and never moved a muscle. "The brain of a devil," he repeated, "and I have no doubt that Black found some way of putting an end to it. I don't blame him if he did. Whatever Mrs. Black was, she was not fit to stay in this world. Will you have anything more? No? Good-night, good-night."

'"The brain of a devil." He said it calmly and didn’t flinch at all. "The brain of a devil," he said again, "and I have no doubt that Black figured out a way to deal with it. I don't blame him if he did. Whatever Mrs. Black was, she certainly didn't belong in this world. Do you want anything else? No? Goodnight, goodnight."'

'It was a queer sort of opinion to get from a man of science, wasn't it? When he was saying that he would not have looked on that face when alive for a thousand guineas, or two thousand guineas, I was thinking of the face I had seen, but I said nothing. I went again to Harlesden, and passed from one shop to another, making small purchases, and trying to find out whether there was anything about the Blacks which was not already common property, but there was very little to hear. One of the tradesmen to whom I spoke said he had known the dead woman well; she used to buy of[270] him such quantities of grocery as were required for their small household, for they never kept a servant, but had a charwoman in occasionally, and she had not seen Mrs. Black for months before she died. According to this man Mrs. Black was "a nice lady," always kind and considerate, and so fond of her husband and he of her, as every one thought. And yet, to put the doctor's opinion on one side, I knew what I had seen. And then after thinking it all over, and putting one thing with another, it seemed to me that the only person likely to give me much assistance would be Black himself, and I made up my mind to find him. Of course he wasn't to be found in Harlesden; he had left, I was told, directly after the funeral. Everything in the house had been sold, and one fine day Black got into the train with a small portmanteau, and went, nobody knew where. It was a chance if he were ever heard of again, and it was by a mere chance that I came across him at last. I was walking one day along Gray's Inn Road, not bound for anywhere in particular, but looking about me, as usual, and holding on to my hat, for it was a gusty day in early March, and the wind was making the treetops in the Inn rock and quiver. I had come up from the Holborn end, and I had almost got to Theobald's Road when I noticed a man walking in front of me, leaning on a stick, and to all appearance very feeble. There was something about his look that made me curious, I don't know why, and I began to walk briskly with the idea of overtaking him, when of a sudden his hat blew off and came bounding along the pavement to my feet. Of course I rescued the hat, and gave it a glance as I[271] went towards its owner. It was a biography in itself; a Piccadilly maker's name in the inside, but I don't think a beggar would have picked it out of the gutter. Then I looked up and saw Dr. Black of Harlesden waiting for me. A queer thing, wasn't it? But, Salisbury, what a change! When I saw Dr. Black come down the steps of his house at Harlesden he was an upright man, walking firmly with well-built limbs; a man, I should say, in the prime of his life. And now before me there crouched this wretched creature, bent and feeble, with shrunken cheeks, and hair that was whitening fast, and limbs that trembled and shook together, and misery in his eyes. He thanked me for bringing him his hat, saying, "I don't think I should ever have got it, I can't run much now. A gusty day, sir, isn't it?" and with this he was turning away, but by little and little I contrived to draw him into the current of conversation, and we walked together eastward. I think the man would have been glad to get rid of me; but I didn't intend to let him go, and he stopped at last in front of a miserable house in a miserable street. It was, I verily believe, one of the most wretched quarters I have ever seen: houses that must have been sordid and hideous enough when new, that had gathered foulness with every year, and now seemed to lean and totter to their fall. "I live up there," said Black, pointing to the tiles, "not in the front—in the back. I am very quiet there. I won't ask you to come in now, but perhaps some other day——" I caught him up at that, and told him I should be only too glad to come and see him. He gave me an odd sort of glance, as if he were wondering what on earth I or anybody else could care about him,[272] and I left him fumbling with his latch-key. I think you will say I did pretty well when I tell you that within a few weeks I had made myself an intimate friend of Black's. I shall never forget the first time I went to his room; I hope I shall never see such abject, squalid misery again. The foul paper, from which all pattern or trace of a pattern had long vanished, subdued and penetrated with the grime of the evil street, was hanging in mouldering pennons from the wall. Only at the end of the room was it possible to stand upright, and the sight of the wretched bed and the odour of corruption that pervaded the place made me turn faint and sick. Here I found him munching a piece of bread; he seemed surprised to find that I had kept my promise, but he gave me his chair and sat on the bed while we talked. I used to go to see him often, and we had long conversations together, but he never mentioned Harlesden or his wife. I fancy that he supposed me ignorant of the matter, or thought that if I had heard of it, I should never connect the respectable Dr. Black of Harlesden with a poor garreteer in the backwoods of London. He was a strange man, and as we sat together smoking, I often wondered whether he were mad or sane, for I think the wildest dreams of Paracelsus and the Rosicrucians would appear plain and sober fact compared with the theories I have heard him earnestly advance in that grimy den of his. I once ventured to hint something of the sort to him. I suggested that something he had said was in flat contradiction to all science and all experience. "No," he answered, "not all experience, for mine counts for something. I am no dealer in unproved theories; what I say I have proved for myself,[273] and at a terrible cost. There is a region of knowledge which you will never know, which wise men seeing from afar off shun like the plague, as well they may, but into that region I have gone. If you knew, if you could even dream of what may be done, of what one or two men have done in this quiet world of ours, your very soul would shudder and faint within you. What you have heard from me has been but the merest husk and outer covering of true science—that science which means death, and that which is more awful than death, to those who gain it. No, when men say that there are strange things in the world, they little know the awe and the terror that dwell always with them and about them." There was a sort of fascination about the man that drew me to him, and I was quite sorry to have to leave London for a month or two; I missed his odd talk. A few days after I came back to town I thought I would look him up, but when I gave the two rings at the bell that used to summon him, there was no answer. I rang and rang again, and was just turning to go away, when the door opened and a dirty woman asked me what I wanted. From her look I fancy she took me for a plain-clothes officer after one of her lodgers, but when I inquired if Mr. Black were in, she gave me a stare of another kind. "There's no Mr. Black lives here," she said. "He's gone. He's dead this six weeks. I always thought he was a bit queer in his head, or else had been and got into some trouble or other. He used to go out every morning from ten till one, and one Monday morning we heard him come in, and go into his room and shut the door, and a few minutes after, just as we was a-sitting down to our dinner, there was such a scream that I thought[274] I should have gone right off. And then we heard a stamping, and down he came, raging and cursing most dreadful, swearing he had been robbed of something that was worth millions. And then he just dropped down in the passage, and we thought he was dead. We got him up to his room, and put him on his bed, and I just sat there and waited, while my 'usband he went for the doctor. And there was the winder wide open, and a little tin box he had lying on the floor open and empty, but of course nobody could possible have got in at the winder, and as for him having anything that was worth anything, it's nonsense, for he was often weeks and weeks behind with his rent, and my 'usband he threatened often and often to turn him into the street, for, as he said, we've got a living to myke like other people—and, of course, that's true; but, somehow, I didn't like to do it, though he was an odd kind of a man, and I fancy had been better off. And then the doctor came and looked at him, and said as he couldn't do nothing, and that night he died as I was a-sitting by his bed; and I can tell you that, with one thing and another, we lost money by him, for the few bits of clothes as he had were worth next to nothing when they came to be sold." I gave the woman half a sovereign for her trouble, and went home thinking of Dr. Black and the epitaph she had made him, and wondering at his strange fancy that he had been robbed. I take it that he had very little to fear on that score, poor fellow; but I suppose that he was really mad, and died in a sudden access of his mania. His landlady said that once or twice when she had had occasion to go into his room (to dun the[275] poor wretch for his rent, most likely), he would keep her at the door for about a minute, and that when she came in she would find him putting away his tin box in the corner by the window; I suppose he had become possessed with the idea of some great treasure, and fancied himself a wealthy man in the midst of all his misery. Explicit, my tale is ended, and you see that though I knew Black, I know nothing of his wife or of the history of her death.—That's the Harlesden case, Salisbury, and I think it interests me all the more deeply because there does not seem the shadow of a possibility that I or any one else will ever know more about it. What do you think of it?'

'It was a strange opinion to hear from a scientist, wasn't it? When he said that he wouldn’t have looked at that face when it was alive for a thousand guineas, or even two thousand guineas, I thought about the face I had seen, but kept quiet. I went back to Harlesden, moving from one shop to another, making small purchases and trying to figure out if there was anything about the Blacks that wasn’t already public knowledge, but there was very little to learn. One of the shopkeepers I spoke to said he knew the deceased woman well; she used to buy groceries from him for their small household since they never had a servant, only hired a charwoman occasionally, and he hadn’t seen Mrs. Black for months before she died. According to this man, Mrs. Black was “a nice lady,” always kind and considerate, and very fond of her husband, who felt the same way, as everyone thought. Yet, despite the doctor's opinion, I knew what I had seen. After thinking it over and connecting the dots, it seemed to me that the only person who could really help me was Black himself, so I decided to track him down. Of course, he was nowhere to be found in Harlesden; I was told he left right after the funeral. Everything in the house had been sold, and one day, Black took a train with a small suitcase and disappeared, no one knew where. It was unlikely he would ever be heard from again, but by sheer chance, I found him at last. One day, while walking along Gray's Inn Road, not headed anywhere specific but just looking around as usual and holding onto my hat because it was a windy day in early March, I came from the Holborn end and nearly got to Theobald's Road when I noticed a man in front of me, leaning on a stick and looking very weak. There was something about his appearance that piqued my curiosity, I can’t say why, so I started walking faster to catch up, when suddenly his hat blew off and rolled down the sidewalk to my feet. Of course, I picked up the hat and took a glance at it as I approached its owner. It told a story of its own; it had the name of a maker from Piccadilly inside, but I doubt even a beggar would have picked it up from the gutter. Then I looked up and saw Dr. Black of Harlesden waiting for me. A strange coincidence, right? But, Salisbury, what a transformation! When I saw Dr. Black come down the steps of his house in Harlesden, he was an upright man, walking confidently with strong limbs; a man, I’d say, in the prime of his life. And now, in front of me stood this pitiful figure, bent and frail, with sunken cheeks and rapidly graying hair, trembling limbs, and misery in his eyes. He thanked me for retrieving his hat, saying, "I don’t think I would have ever gotten it back; I can’t run much these days. It’s a windy day, isn’t it?" and with that, he started to turn away, but gradually I managed to engage him in conversation, and we walked eastward together. I think he would have preferred to be rid of me; however, I didn’t plan on letting him go, and he finally stopped in front of a rundown house in a shabby street. I honestly believe it was one of the most miserable neighborhoods I’ve ever seen: buildings that must have been plain and ugly enough when they were new, which had accumulated filth with time, now appeared to lean and stagger on the verge of collapse. "I live up there," said Black, pointing to the roof, "not in the front—in the back. It’s very quiet there. I won't invite you in now, but perhaps another day—" I jumped in to say I would be more than happy to come and see him. He gave me a strange look as if he was wondering why I or anyone else would care about him, and I left him fumbling with his latch-key. I think you’ll agree I did quite well; within a few weeks, I had become a close friend of Black’s. I will never forget the first time I visited his room; I hope I never see such abject, squalid misery again. The dirty wallpaper, from which all trace of design had long disappeared, smothered in the grime of the wretched street, hung in tatters from the walls. The only area to stand upright was at the end of the room, and the sight of the pitiful bed and the stench of decay that filled the place made me feel faint and nauseous. There I found him munching on a piece of bread; he seemed surprised that I kept my promise, but he offered me his chair and sat on the bed while we talked. I used to visit him often, and we had long discussions, but he never mentioned Harlesden or his wife. I think he believed I was unaware of the situation or thought that if I had heard about it, I wouldn’t connect the respectable Dr. Black of Harlesden with a poor tenant in a grimy part of London. He was a peculiar man, and as we sat together smoking, I often wondered whether he was insane or sane, because I think the wildest dreams of Paracelsus and the Rosicrucians would seem straightforward compared to the theories I heard him passionately express in that filthy den of his. I once cautiously suggested to him that something he said contradicted all science and experience. "No," he replied, "not all experience, for mine counts for something. I’m not one for unproved theories; what I say I have proved for myself, and at a terrible cost. There is a realm of knowledge that you will never know, one that wise men shun like the plague, as they rightly should, but I have ventured into that realm. If you knew, or could even imagine, what can be achieved, what a few men have achieved in this tranquil world of ours, your very soul would shudder and faint within you. What you have heard from me is merely the shell and outer layer of true science—that science which brings death, and something more horrifying than death for those who pursue it. No, when people say there are strange things in the world, they have no idea of the awe and terror that always accompany them." There was a sort of fascination about him that drew me in, and I felt quite sorry to leave London for a month or two; I missed his unusual conversations. A few days after returning to town, I thought I’d look him up, but when I rang the two bells that used to summon him, there was no response. I kept ringing, and as I was about to leave, the door opened, and a dirty woman asked what I wanted. From her expression, I sensed she mistook me for an undercover officer looking for one of her lodgers, but when I asked if Mr. Black was in, she gave me a different kind of stare. "There’s no Mr. Black living here," she replied. "He’s gone. He’s been dead for six weeks. I always thought he was a bit off in the head, or got into some kind of trouble. He used to go out every morning from ten until one, and one Monday morning, we heard him come in, go to his room, and shut the door, and a few minutes later, just as we were sitting down to dinner, there was such a scream I thought I would faint. Then we heard a commotion, and down he came, raging and cursing terribly, swearing he had been robbed of something worth millions. Then he just collapsed in the hallway, and we thought he was dead. We managed to get him to his room and put him in bed, and I sat there waiting while my husband went for the doctor. The window was wide open, and a little tin box he had was lying on the floor, open and empty, but obviously nobody could have gotten in through the window, and as for him owning anything of value, that’s nonsense since he was often weeks behind on rent, and my husband often threatened to kick him out, saying we have a living to make like other people—and of course, that’s true; but for some reason, I didn’t want to do it, even though he was a strange man and seemed to have been better off. Then the doctor came and looked at him and said there was nothing he could do, and that night he died while I sat by his bed; and I’ll tell you that, with everything else, we lost money on him, for the few bits of clothes he had were worth next to nothing when they were sold." I gave the woman half a sovereign for her trouble and went home thinking about Dr. Black and the story she had made for him, wondering about his strange belief that he had been robbed. I assume he had very little to worry about on that front, poor fellow; but I suspect he was genuinely mad and died during a sudden fit of his delusion. His landlady said that once or twice when she had to go into his room (most likely to collect the rent from the poor wretch), he would keep her outside for about a minute, and when she came in, she would see him putting his tin box away in the corner by the window; I assume he had become fixated on the idea of some great treasure and imagined himself a wealthy man amid all his suffering. Explicit, my story is finished, and you see that although I knew Black, I know nothing of his wife or the circumstances of her death.—That’s the Harlesden case, Salisbury, and I find it even more intriguing because there seems to be no possibility that I or anyone else will ever discover more about it. What do you think?'

'Well, Dyson, I must say that I think you have contrived to surround the whole thing with a mystery of your own making. I go for the doctor's solution: Black murdered his wife, being himself in all probability an undeveloped lunatic.'

'Well, Dyson, I have to say that I think you’ve created a mystery of your own design around the whole situation. I’m leaning towards the doctor’s explanation: Black killed his wife, likely being an underdeveloped lunatic himself.'

'What? Do you believe, then, that this woman was something too awful, too terrible to be allowed to remain on the earth? You will remember that the doctor said it was the brain of a devil?'

'What? Do you really think this woman was so awful, so terrible that she shouldn't be allowed to live on this earth? You remember the doctor said it was the brain of a devil?'

'Yes, yes, but he was speaking, of course, metaphorically. It's really quite a simple matter if you only look at it like that.'

'Yes, yes, but he was speaking, of course, metaphorically. It's really pretty straightforward if you just look at it that way.'

'Ah, well, you may be right; but yet I am sure you are not. Well, well, it's no good discussing it any more. A little more Benedictine? That's right; try some of this tobacco. Didn't you say that you had been bothered by something—something which happened that night we dined together?'

'Ah, well, you might be right; but I’m pretty sure you’re not. Well, it’s no use discussing it any further. Want some more Benedictine? That’s right; try some of this tobacco. Didn't you mention that something had been bothering you—something that happened the night we had dinner together?'

'Yes, I have been worried, Dyson, worried a great[276] deal. I——But it's such a trivial matter—indeed, such an absurdity—that I feel ashamed to trouble you with it.'

'Yes, I have been worried, Dyson, really worried a lot[276] about it. I—but it’s such a minor issue—actually, such a ridiculous one—that I feel embarrassed to bother you with it.'

'Never mind, let's have it, absurd or not.'

'Whatever, let's go for it, silly or not.'

With many hesitations, and with much inward resentment of the folly of the thing, Salisbury told his tale, and repeated reluctantly the absurd intelligence and the absurder doggerel of the scrap of paper, expecting to hear Dyson burst out into a roar of laughter.

With many hesitations and a lot of inner frustration at the foolishness of it all, Salisbury shared his story and reluctantly repeated the ridiculous information and the even more ridiculous verse from the scrap of paper, bracing himself to hear Dyson erupt in laughter.

'Isn't it too bad that I should let myself be bothered by such stuff as that?' he asked, when he had stuttered out the jingle of once, and twice, and thrice.

'Isn't it a pity that I should let myself be bothered by things like that?' he asked, after he had stumbled over the rhyme of once, and twice, and thrice.

Dyson listened to it all gravely, even to the end, and meditated for a few minutes in silence.

Dyson listened to everything seriously, right until the end, and reflected in silence for a few minutes.

'Yes,' he said at length, 'it was a curious chance, your taking shelter in that archway just as those two went by. But I don't know that I should call what was written on the paper nonsense; it is bizarre certainly, but I expect it has a meaning for somebody. Just repeat it again, will you, and I will write it down. Perhaps we might find a cipher of some sort, though I hardly think we shall.'

"Yeah," he said after a while, "it was a strange coincidence that you took cover in that archway just as those two walked by. But I wouldn’t call what was on the paper nonsense; it’s definitely odd, but I’m sure it has some meaning for someone. Just say it again, will you? I'll write it down. Maybe we can figure out some kind of code, although I doubt we will."

Again had the reluctant lips of Salisbury slowly to stammer out the rubbish that he abhorred, while Dyson jotted it down on a slip of paper.

Again, Salisbury's unwilling lips had to slowly stammer out the nonsense he hated, while Dyson wrote it down on a piece of paper.

'Look over it, will you?' he said, when it was done; 'it may be important that I should have every word in its place. Is that all right?'

'Can you take a look at it?' he asked, when it was finished; 'it might be important for me to have every word in the right spot. Is that okay?'

'Yes; that is an accurate copy. But I don't think you will get much out of it. Depend upon it, it is mere nonsense, a wanton scribble. I must be going now, Dyson. No, no more; that stuff of yours is pretty strong. Good-night.'[277]

'Yes, that's an accurate copy. But I doubt you'll gain much from it. Trust me, it's just nonsense, a random scribble. I have to go now, Dyson. No more; that stuff of yours is pretty strong. Good night.'[277]

'I suppose you would like to hear from me, if I did find out anything?'

'I guess you want to know if I found out anything?'

'No, not I; I don't want to hear about the thing again. You may regard the discovery, if it is one, as your own.'

'No, not me; I don't want to hear about it again. You can consider the discovery, if it even is one, as your own.'

'Very well. Good-night.'

'Alright. Good night.'

IV

A good many hours after Salisbury had returned to the company of the green rep chairs, Dyson still sat at his desk, itself a Japanese romance, smoking many pipes, and meditating over his friend's story. The bizarre quality of the inscription which had annoyed Salisbury was to him an attraction, and now and again he took it up and scanned thoughtfully what he had written, especially the quaint jingle at the end. It was a token, a symbol, he decided, and not a cipher, and the woman who had flung it away was in all probability entirely ignorant of its meaning; she was but the agent of the 'Sam' she had abused and discarded, and he too was again the agent of some one unknown, possibly of the individual styled Q, who had been forced to visit his French friends. But what to make of 'Traverse Handle S.' Here was the root and source of the enigma, and not all the tobacco of Virginia seemed likely to suggest any clue here. It seemed almost hopeless, but Dyson regarded himself as the Wellington of mysteries, and went to bed feeling assured that sooner or later he would hit upon the right track For the next few days he was deeply engaged in his literary labours, labours which were a profound mystery even to the most intimate of his friends, who[278] searched the railway bookstalls in vain for the result of so many hours spent at the Japanese bureau in company with strong tobacco and black tea. On this occasion Dyson confined himself to his room for four days, and it was with genuine relief that he laid down his pen and went out into the streets in quest of relaxation and fresh air. The gas-lamps were being lighted, and the fifth edition of the evening papers was being howled through the streets, and Dyson, feeling that he wanted quiet, turned away from the clamorous Strand, and began to trend away to the north-west. Soon he found himself in streets that echoed to his footsteps, and crossing a broad new thoroughfare, and verging still to the west, Dyson discovered that he had penetrated to the depths of Soho. Here again was life; rare vintages of France and Italy, at prices which seemed contemptibly small, allured the passer-by; here were cheeses, vast and rich, here olive oil, and here a grove of Rabelaisian sausages; while in a neighbouring shop the whole Press of Paris appeared to be on sale. In the middle of the roadway a strange miscellany of nations sauntered to and fro, for there cab and hansom rarely ventured; and from window over window the inhabitants looked forth in pleased contemplation of the scene. Dyson made his way slowly along, mingling with the crowd on the cobble-stones, listening to the queer babel of French and German, and Italian and English, glancing now and again at the shop-windows with their levelled batteries of bottles, and had almost gained the end of the street, when his attention was arrested by a small shop at the corner, a vivid contrast to its neighbours. It was the typical shop of the poor quarter; a shop entirely English.[279] Here were vended tobacco and sweets, cheap pipes of clay and cherry-wood; penny exercise-books and penholders jostled for precedence with comic songs, and story papers with appalling cuts showed that romance claimed its place beside the actualities of the evening paper, the bills of which fluttered at the doorway. Dyson glanced up at the name above the door, and stood by the kennel trembling, for a sharp pang, the pang of one who has made a discovery, had for a moment left him incapable of motion. The name over the shop was Travers. Dyson looked up again, this time at the corner of the wall above the lamp-post, and read in white letters on a blue ground the words 'Handel Street, W. C.,' and the legend was repeated in fainter letters just below. He gave a little sigh of satisfaction, and without more ado walked boldly into the shop, and stared full in the face the fat man who was sitting behind the counter. The fellow rose to his feet, and returned the stare a little curiously, and then began in stereotyped phrase—

A good many hours after Salisbury had returned to the green fabric chairs, Dyson was still sitting at his desk, which felt like a Japanese romance, smoking several pipes and thinking about his friend's story. The weird quality of the inscription that had bothered Salisbury was intriguing to him, and now and then he picked it up and thoughtfully read what he had written, especially the quirky rhyme at the end. He concluded it was a token, a symbol, not a code, and the woman who had thrown it away likely had no idea what it meant; she was just the messenger of the 'Sam' she had insulted and discarded, and he was also acting on behalf of someone unknown, possibly a person referred to as Q, who had been forced to visit his French friends. But what to make of 'Traverse Handle S.'? This was the core of the mystery, and no amount of Virginia tobacco seemed to offer any clue. It felt almost hopeless, but Dyson considered himself the Wellington of mysteries and went to bed confident that he would eventually find the right path. For the next few days, he was deeply focused on his writing tasks, which were a total mystery even to his closest friends, who searched the railway bookstalls in vain for results of his many hours spent at the Japanese desk with strong tobacco and black tea. Dyson isolated himself in his room for four days, and it was with genuine relief that he put down his pen and went outside for some relaxation and fresh air. The gas lamps were being lit, and the fifth edition of the evening papers was being shouted through the streets. Wanting some peace, Dyson turned away from the noisy Strand and started moving northwest. Soon he found himself in quiet streets and, after crossing a broad new road while continuing westward, he realized he had delved into the heart of Soho. Here was vibrancy; rare wines from France and Italy, at prices that seemed laughably low, attracted passersby; there were huge and rich cheeses, olive oil, and a variety of sausages; while in a nearby shop it seemed that the entire Parisian press was for sale. In the middle of the street, a diverse mix of people strolled back and forth since cabs and hansoms rarely traveled here; and from window to window, the locals looked out, enjoying the view. Dyson walked slowly, blending into the crowd on the cobblestones, listening to the lively mix of French, German, Italian, and English, occasionally glancing at shop windows lined with bottles, and almost reaching the end of the street when his eyes were caught by a little shop at the corner, a striking contrast to its neighbors. It was the typical shop of a poor area; a fully English shop. Here, they sold tobacco and sweets, cheap clay and cherry wood pipes; exercise books and pen holders fought for space with comic songs and story papers featuring shocking illustrations, showing that romance shared its place alongside the evening paper, the bills of which flapped at the entrance. Dyson looked up at the sign above the door and stood by the curb, trembling, as a sharp pang—a feeling of discovery—momentarily left him frozen. The name above the shop was Travers. Dyson looked up again, this time at the corner of the wall above the lamp post, and read in white letters on a blue background the words 'Handel Street, W. C.,' repeated in smaller letters just below. He sighed with satisfaction, and without hesitation, walked confidently into the shop and stared directly at the plump man sitting behind the counter. The man stood up, returned the look with a bit of curiosity, and then began in a familiar tone—

'What can I do for you, sir?'

'How can I help you, sir?'

Dyson enjoyed the situation and a dawning perplexity on the man's face. He propped his stick carefully against the counter and leaning over it, said slowly and impressively—

Dyson enjoyed the situation and the growing confusion on the man's face. He carefully propped his cane against the counter and leaned over it, saying slowly and with emphasis—

'Once around the grass, and twice around the lass, and thrice around the maple-tree.'

'Once around the grass, and twice around the girl, and three times around the maple tree.'

Dyson had calculated on his words producing an effect, and he was not disappointed. The vendor of miscellanies gasped, open-mouthed like a fish, and steadied himself against the counter. When he spoke, after a short interval, it was in a hoarse mutter, tremulous and unsteady.[280]

Dyson had expected his words to make an impact, and he wasn't let down. The seller of random items gasped, mouth hanging open like a fish, and leaned against the counter for support. When he finally spoke, after a brief pause, his voice was a hoarse mumble, shaky and unsteady.[280]

'Would you mind saying that again, sir? I didn't quite catch it.'

'Could you please repeat that, sir? I didn't quite catch it.'

'My good man, I shall most certainly do nothing of the kind. You heard what I said perfectly well. You have got a clock in your shop, I see; an admirable timekeeper, I have no doubt. Well, I give you a minute by your own clock.'

'My good man, I definitely won’t do anything like that. You heard what I said perfectly well. I see you have a clock in your shop; it seems like a great timekeeper, without a doubt. Well, I’m giving you a minute by your own clock.'

The man looked about him in a perplexed indecision, and Dyson felt that it was time to be bold.

The man glanced around in a confused state of uncertainty, and Dyson sensed it was time to act confidently.

'Look here, Travers, the time is nearly up. You have heard of Q, I think. Remember, I hold your life in my hands. Now!'

'Listen, Travers, time's almost up. You know about Q, right? Just remember, I have your life in my hands. Now!'

Dyson was shocked at the result of his own audacity. The man shrank and shrivelled in terror, the sweat poured down a face of ashy white, and he held up his hands before him.

Dyson was stunned by the outcome of his own boldness. The man recoiled in fear, sweat streaming down his pale face, and he raised his hands in front of him.

'Mr. Davies, Mr. Davies, don't say that—don't for Heaven's sake. I didn't know you at first, I didn't indeed. Good God! Mr. Davies, you wouldn't ruin me? I'll get it in a moment.'

'Mr. Davies, Mr. Davies, please don’t say that—don’t, for Heaven’s sake. I didn’t recognize you at first, I really didn’t. Good God! Mr. Davies, you wouldn’t want to ruin me, would you? I’ll get it in a moment.'

'You had better not lose any more time.'

'You should really not waste any more time.'

The man slunk piteously out of his own shop, and went into a back parlour. Dyson heard his trembling fingers fumbling with a bunch of keys, and the creak of an opening box. He came back presently with a small package neatly tied up in brown paper in his hands, and, still full of terror, handed it to Dyson.

The man sadly slipped out of his own shop and went into a back room. Dyson heard his shaking fingers struggling with a bunch of keys and the creak of a box opening. He returned shortly with a small package neatly wrapped in brown paper, and still trembling with fear, handed it to Dyson.

'I'm glad to be rid of it,' he said. 'I'll take no more jobs of this sort.'

'I'm really glad to be done with it,' he said. 'I won't take on any more jobs like this.'

Dyson took the parcel and his stick, and walked out of the shop with a nod, turning round as he passed the door. Travers had sunk into his seat, his face still white with terror, with one hand over his eyes, and[281] Dyson speculated a good deal as he walked rapidly away as to what queer chords those could be on which he had played so roughly. He hailed the first hansom he could see and drove home, and when he had lit his hanging lamp, and laid his parcel on the table, he paused for a moment, wondering on what strange thing the lamplight would soon shine. He locked his door, and cut the strings, and unfolded the paper layer after layer, and came at last to a small wooden box, simply but solidly made. There was no lock, and Dyson had simply to raise the lid, and as he did so he drew a long breath and started back. The lamp seemed to glimmer feebly like a single candle, but the whole room blazed with light—and not with light alone, but with a thousand colours, with all the glories of some painted window; and upon the walls of his room and on the familiar furniture, the glow flamed back and seemed to flow again to its source, the little wooden box. For there upon a bed of soft wool lay the most splendid jewel, a jewel such as Dyson had never dreamed of, and within it shone the blue of far skies, and the green of the sea by the shore, and the red of the ruby, and deep violet rays, and in the middle of all it seemed aflame as if a fountain of fire rose up, and fell, and rose again with sparks like stars for drops. Dyson gave a long deep sigh, and dropped into his chair, and put his hands over his eyes to think. The jewel was like an opal, but from a long experience of the shop-windows he knew there was no such thing as an opal one-quarter or one-eighth of its size. He looked at the stone again, with a feeling that was almost awe, and placed it gently on the table under the lamp, and watched the wonderful flame that shone[282] and sparkled in its centre, and then turned to the box, curious to know whether it might contain other marvels. He lifted the bed of wool on which the opal had reclined, and saw beneath, no more jewels, but a little old pocket-book, worn and shabby with use. Dyson opened it at the first leaf, and dropped the book again appalled. He had read the name of the owner, neatly written in blue ink:

Dyson took the package and his stick, walked out of the shop with a nod, and turned back as he passed the door. Travers had slumped into his seat, his face still pale with fear, one hand over his eyes, and[281] Dyson wondered a lot as he hurried away about what strange notes he had played so roughly. He hailed the first cab he saw and drove home. After he lit his hanging lamp and laid the package on the table, he paused for a moment, curious about what strange thing the light would soon reveal. He locked his door, cut the strings, and unfolded the paper layer by layer, finally uncovering a small wooden box, simply but solidly made. There was no lock, so Dyson just lifted the lid, and as he did, he took a deep breath and jumped back. The lamp flickered dimly like a single candle, but the whole room exploded with light—and not just light, but a thousand colors, like the beauty of a stained glass window; the glow bounced off the walls and familiar furniture, flowing back to its source, the little wooden box. Inside, on a bed of soft wool, lay the most spectacular jewel, one Dyson had never imagined, shining with the blue of distant skies, the green of the sea by the shore, the red of rubies, and deep violet rays, with a center that looked like a fountain of fire, rising, falling, and rising again with sparks like starry drops. Dyson let out a long sigh, sank into his chair, and covered his eyes to think. The jewel resembled an opal, but from long experience with shop windows, he knew there was no such thing as an opal one-quarter or one-eighth its size. He looked at the stone again, feeling a sense of awe, and gently placed it on the table under the lamp, watching the amazing flame that shone[282] and sparkled in its center, then turned to the box, eager to see if it held other wonders. He lifted the wool bed where the opal had rested and saw, beneath it, not more jewels, but a little old pocketbook, worn and shabby from use. Dyson opened it to the first page and dropped the book again in shock. He had read the name of the owner, neatly written in blue ink:

Steven Black, M.D.,
Oranmore, Devon Road, Harlesden.

It was several minutes before Dyson could bring himself to open the book a second time; he remembered the wretched exile in his garret; and his strange talk, and the memory too of the face he had seen at the window, and of what the specialist had said, surged up in his mind, and as he held his finger on the cover, he shivered, dreading what might be written within. When at last he held it in his hand, and turned the pages, he found that the first two leaves were blank, but the third was covered with clear, minute writing, and Dyson began to read with the light of the opal flaming in his eyes.

It took Dyson several minutes to finally open the book again; he couldn't shake off the memory of his miserable exile in his attic. Thoughts of that strange conversation he had, the face he saw at the window, and the specialist's words flooded his mind. As he rested his finger on the cover, he shivered, fearing what might be written inside. When he finally had it in his hand and flipped through the pages, he noticed the first two pages were blank, but the third was filled with neat, tiny writing, and Dyson started to read, with the light of the opal shining in his eyes.

V

'Ever since I was a young man'—the record began—'I devoted all my leisure and a good deal of time that ought to have been given to other studies to the investigation of curious and obscure branches of[283] knowledge. What are commonly called the pleasures of life had never any attractions for me, and I lived alone in London, avoiding my fellow-students, and in my turn avoided by them as a man self-absorbed and unsympathetic. So long as I could gratify my desire of knowledge of a peculiar kind, knowledge of which the very existence is a profound secret to most men, I was intensely happy, and I have often spent whole nights sitting in the darkness of my room, and thinking of the strange world on the brink of which I trod. My professional studies, however, and the necessity of obtaining a degree, for some time forced my more obscure employment into the background, and soon after I had qualified I met Agnes, who became my wife. We took a new house in this remote suburb, and I began the regular routine of a sober practice, and for some months lived happily enough, sharing in the life about me, and only thinking at odd intervals of that occult science which had once fascinated my whole being. I had learnt enough of the paths I had begun to tread to know that they were beyond all expression difficult and dangerous, that to persevere meant in all probability the wreck of a life, and that they led to regions so terrible, that the mind of man shrinks appalled at the very thought. Moreover, the quiet and the peace I had enjoyed since my marriage had wiled me away to a great extent from places where I knew no peace could dwell. But suddenly—I think indeed it was the work of a single night, as I lay awake on my bed gazing into the darkness—suddenly, I say, the old desire, the former longing, returned, and returned with a force that had been intensified ten times by its absence; and when the day dawned and I looked out[284] of the window, and saw with haggard eyes the sunrise in the east, I knew that my doom had been pronounced; that as I had gone far, so now I must go farther with unfaltering steps. I turned to the bed where my wife was sleeping peacefully, and lay down again, weeping bitter tears, for the sun had set on our happy life and had risen with a dawn of terror to us both. I will not set down here in minute detail what followed; outwardly I went about the day's labour as before, saying nothing to my wife. But she soon saw that I had changed; I spent my spare time in a room which I had fitted up as a laboratory, and often I crept upstairs in the grey dawn of the morning, when the light of many lamps still glowed over London; and each night I had stolen a step nearer to that great abyss which I was to bridge over, the gulf between the world of consciousness and the world of matter. My experiments were many and complicated in their nature, and it was some months before I realized whither they all pointed, and when this was borne in upon me in a moment's time, I felt my face whiten and my heart still within me. But the power to draw back, the power to stand before the doors that now opened wide before me and not to enter in, had long ago been absent; the way was closed, and I could only pass onward. My position was as utterly hopeless as that of the prisoner in an utter dungeon, whose only light is that of the dungeon above him; the doors were shut and escape was impossible. Experiment after experiment gave the same result, and I knew, and shrank even as the thought passed through my mind, that in the work I had to do there must be elements which no laboratory could furnish, which no scales could ever[285] measure. In that work, from which even I doubted to escape with life, life itself must enter; from some human being there must be drawn that essence which men call the soul, and in its place (for in the scheme of the world there is no vacant chamber)—in its place would enter in what the lips can hardly utter, what the mind cannot conceive without a horror more awful than the horror of death itself. And when I knew this, I knew also on whom this fate would fall; I looked into my wife's eyes. Even at that hour, if I had gone out and taken a rope and hanged myself, I might have escaped, and she also, but in no other way. At last I told her all. She shuddered, and wept, and called on her dead mother for help, and asked me if I had no mercy, and I could only sigh. I concealed nothing from her; I told her what she would become, and what would enter in where her life had been; I told her of all the shame and of all the horror. You who will read this when I am dead—if indeed I allow this record to survive,—you who have opened the box and have seen what lies there, if you could understand what lies hidden in that opal! For one night my wife consented to what I asked of her, consented with the tears running down her beautiful face, and hot shame flushing red over her neck and breast, consented to undergo this for me. I threw open the window, and we looked together at the sky and the dark earth for the last time; it was a fine star-light night, and there was a pleasant breeze blowing, and I kissed her on her lips, and her tears ran down upon my face. That night she came down to my laboratory, and there, with shutters bolted and barred down, with curtains drawn thick and close, so that the very stars might be shut out from the sight[286] of that room, while the crucible hissed and boiled over the lamp, I did what had to be done, and led out what was no longer a woman. But on the table the opal flamed and sparkled with such light as no eyes of man have ever gazed on, and the rays of the flame that was within it flashed and glittered, and shone even to my heart. My wife had only asked one thing of me; that when there came at last what I had told her, I would kill her. I have kept that promise.'

'Ever since I was a young man,' the record began, 'I spent all my free time and a good chunk of time that should have gone to other studies investigating strange and obscure fields of[283] knowledge. The usual pleasures of life never appealed to me, and I lived alone in London, keeping my distance from my fellow students, who, in turn, avoided me as someone self-absorbed and unsympathetic. As long as I could satisfy my desire for this peculiar kind of knowledge, which is a deep secret to most people, I was incredibly happy. I often spent entire nights in the darkness of my room, contemplating the strange world I was on the edge of. However, my professional studies and the need to earn a degree eventually pushed my obscure pursuits into the background. Shortly after I qualified, I met Agnes, who became my wife. We moved into a new house in this quiet suburb, and I began the regular routine of a stable practice. For several months, I was relatively happy, engaging in the life around me and occasionally thinking back to that hidden science that had once captivated me completely. I had learned enough about the paths I was starting to explore to know they were incredibly difficult and dangerous. To press on meant, almost certainly, risking my entire life, and these paths led to such terrifying places that the thought alone was enough to make the human mind shrink back in fear. Moreover, the tranquility and peace I enjoyed since my marriage had drawn me away from places I knew could never offer me peace. But then, suddenly—I believe it happened in a single night, while I lay awake in bed staring into the darkness—the old desire, the previous longing, returned, and it came back with a force amplified tenfold by its absence. When dawn broke and I looked out of the window, my eyes disheveled, I recognized that my fate had been sealed; just as I had come far, now I must go even further without hesitation. I glanced at the bed where my wife was peacefully sleeping, and lay back down, weeping bitter tears because the sun had set on our happy life and risen on a new day filled with terror for us both. I won't recount everything that followed in detail; outwardly, I went about my day as usual, saying nothing to Agnes. But she quickly noticed that I had changed. I spent my spare time in a room I had converted into a laboratory, often sneaking upstairs in the early morning light when the glow of countless lamps still illuminated London; and each night I had crept a step closer to the vast abyss I needed to cross—the chasm between the world of consciousness and the world of matter. My experiments were complex and varied, and it took me several months to realize their true direction. When I finally comprehended this in an instant, I felt my face go pale, and my heart stop. But the ability to retreat, the strength to stand before the doors now opened wide and not enter, had long since vanished; the path was sealed, and I could only move forward. My situation was as hopeless as that of a prisoner in a dark dungeon, whose only light comes from the passage above him; the doors were locked, and escape was impossible. Experiment after experiment yielded the same results, and I knew—and recoiled as the thought crossed my mind—that in my work, there must be elements no laboratory could provide, which no scales could ever[285] measure. In this work, from which I wondered if I would even escape with my life, life itself had to be involved; I would have to draw that essence known as the soul from some human being, and in its place (for in the scheme of the world, there are no empty spaces)—in its place would come that which cannot even be spoken of, what the mind cannot conceive without experiencing a horror worse than death itself. And when I understood this, I also knew who this fate would befall; I looked into my wife’s eyes. Even at that moment, had I gone out, taken a rope, and hanged myself, I could have saved both myself and her, but no other way. At last, I told her everything. She shuddered, wept, called out to her deceased mother for help, and asked me if I had no mercy, and I could only sigh. I hid nothing from her; I explained what she would become, and what would replace her life; I laid bare all the shame and horror. You who will read this when I am gone—if I decide to let this record survive—you who have opened the box and seen what lies within, if you could grasp what is hidden in that opal! For one night, my wife agreed to what I asked of her, agreeing with tears streaming down her beautiful face and a fiery shame coloring her neck and chest, consenting to undergo this for me. I threw open the window, and we looked together at the sky and the dark earth for the last time; it was a clear, starry night, with a gentle breeze blowing, and I kissed her on the lips, while her tears fell onto my face. That night, she came down to my laboratory, where, with the shutters bolted and barred, and the curtains drawn tightly closed to shut out the stars from view[286], as the crucible hissed and boiled over the flame, I did what had to be done, and brought forth what was no longer a woman. But on the table, the opal glowed and sparkled with a brightness no human eyes have ever seen, and the rays of the flame within it flashed and glittered, shining even into my heart. My wife had asked me for just one thing; that when the time came for what I had told her, I would kill her. I have kept that promise.'


There was nothing more. Dyson let the little pocket-book fall, and turned and looked again at the opal with its flaming inmost light, and then with unutterable irresistible horror surging up in his heart, grasped the jewel, and flung it on the ground, and trampled it beneath his heel. His face was white with terror as he turned away, and for a moment stood sick and trembling, and then with a start he leapt across the room and steadied himself against the door. There was an angry hiss, as of steam escaping under great pressure, and as he gazed, motionless, a volume of heavy yellow smoke was slowly issuing from the very centre of the jewel, and wreathing itself in snake-like coils above it. And then a thin white flame burst forth from the smoke, and shot up into the air and vanished; and on the ground there lay a thing like a cinder, black and crumbling to the touch.

There was nothing else. Dyson let the little pocketbook drop, turned, and looked again at the opal with its intense inner glow. Then, with an overwhelming, irresistible horror rising in his chest, he grabbed the jewel, threw it to the ground, and stomped on it with his heel. His face was pale with fear as he turned away, standing for a moment sick and trembling. Then, with a jolt, he jumped across the room and steadied himself against the door. There was an angry hiss, like steam escaping under high pressure, and as he stared, frozen, a thick cloud of yellow smoke was slowly pouring out from the very center of the jewel, curling up in snake-like spirals above it. Then a thin white flame shot out from the smoke, rose into the air, and disappeared; on the ground lay something like a cinder, black and crumbling to the touch.

Transcriber's Note: Minor typographical errors have been corrected without note.



        
        
    
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