This is a modern-English version of The cruise of the Snark, originally written by London, Jack. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE CRUISE OF THE
SNARK

 

BY
JACK LONDON

BY
JACK LONDON

AUTHOR OF “VALLEY OF THE MOON,” “JOHN BARLEYCORN”
“MUTINY OF THE ELSINORE,” ETC.

AUTHOR OF “VALLEY OF THE MOON,” “JOHN BARLEYCORN”
“MUTINY OF THE ELSINORE,” ETC.

 

“Yes have heard the beat of the offshore wind,
And the thresh of the deep-sea rain;
You have heard the song—how long! how long!
Pull out on the trail again!”

“Yes, I’ve heard the sound of the offshore wind,
And the pounding of the deep-sea rain;
You’ve heard the song—how long! how long!
Get back on the trail again!”

 

MILLS & BOON, LIMITED
49 RUPERT STREET
LONDON, W.1

MILLS & BOON, LIMITED
49 RUPERT STREET
LONDON, W.1

 

Copyright in the United States of America by The Macmillan Company

Copyright in the United States of America by Macmillan Publishers

 

To
CHARMIAN
THE MATE OF THE “SNARK”

To
CHARMIAN
THE MATE OF THE “SNARK”

WHO TOOK THE WHEEL, NIGHT OR DAY,
WHEN ENTERING
OR LEAVING PORT OR RUNNING A PASSAGE,
WHO TOOK THE WHEEL IN EVERY EMERGENCY, AND
WHO WEPT
AFTER TWO YEARS OF SAILING, WHEN THE
VOYAGE WAS DISCONTINUED

WHO TOOK THE WHEEL, DAY OR NIGHT,
When entering
OR LEAVING PORT OR GOING ON A JOURNEY,
WHO STEPPED UP IN EVERY CRISIS, AND
WHO CRIED?
AFTER TWO YEARS OF SAILING, WHEN THE __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__
Voyage was halted

Contents

CHAPTER I FOREWORD
CHAPTER II THE INCONCEIVABLE AND MONSTROUS
CHAPTER III ADVENTURE
CHAPTER IV FINDING ONE’S WAY ABOUT
CHAPTER V THE FIRST LANDFALL
CHAPTER VI A ROYAL SPORT
CHAPTER VII THE LEPERS OF MOLOKAI
CHAPTER VIII THE HOUSE OF THE SUN
CHAPTER IX A PACIFIC TRAVERSE
CHAPTER X TYPEE
CHAPTER XI THE NATURE MAN
CHAPTER XII THE HIGH SEAT OF ABUNDANCE
CHAPTER XIII THE STONE-FISHING OF BORA BORA
CHAPTER XIV THE AMATEUR NAVIGATOR
CHAPTER XV CRUISING IN THE SOLOMONS
CHAPTER XVI BÊCHE DE MER ENGLISH
CHAPTER XVII THE AMATEUR M.D.
BACKWORD
FOOTNOTES

CHAPTER I
Foreword

It began in the swimming pool at Glen Ellen. Between swims it was our wont to come out and lie in the sand and let our skins breathe the warm air and soak in the sunshine. Roscoe was a yachtsman. I had followed the sea a bit. It was inevitable that we should talk about boats. We talked about small boats, and the seaworthiness of small boats. We instanced Captain Slocum and his three years’ voyage around the world in the Spray.

It started at the swimming pool in Glen Ellen. Between swimming sessions, we would come out and lie on the sand, letting our skin breathe in the warm air and soak up the sunshine. Roscoe was into sailing. I had some experience with the sea. So, it was only natural for us to discuss boats. We talked about small boats and their seaworthiness. We mentioned Captain Slocum and his three-year journey around the world on the Spray.

We asserted that we were not afraid to go around the world in a small boat, say forty feet long. We asserted furthermore that we would like to do it. We asserted finally that there was nothing in this world we’d like better than a chance to do it.

We claimed that we weren’t scared to sail around the world in a small boat, around forty feet long. We also said that we wanted to do it. Ultimately, we stated that there was nothing we’d enjoy more than the chance to make it happen.

“Let us do it,” we said . . . in fun.

“Let’s do it,” we said . . . jokingly.

Then I asked Charmian privily if she’d really care to do it, and she said that it was too good to be true.

Then I quietly asked Charmian if she would really want to do it, and she said it sounded too good to be true.

The next time we breathed our skins in the sand by the swimming pool I said to Roscoe, “Let us do it.”

The next time we laid our bodies on the sand by the swimming pool, I said to Roscoe, “Let’s do it.”

I was in earnest, and so was he, for he said:

I was serious, and he was too, because he said:

“When shall we start?”

"When do we start?"

I had a house to build on the ranch, also an orchard, a vineyard, and several hedges to plant, and a number of other things to do. We thought we would start in four or five years. Then the lure of the adventure began to grip us. Why not start at once? We’d never be younger, any of us. Let the orchard, vineyard, and hedges be growing up while we were away. When we came back, they would be ready for us, and we could live in the barn while we built the house.

I had a house to build on the ranch, plus an orchard, a vineyard, and several hedges to plant, along with a bunch of other things to do. We thought we’d start in four or five years. Then the excitement of the adventure started to pull us in. Why not start right now? None of us would be younger. Let the orchard, vineyard, and hedges grow while we were gone. When we got back, they’d be all set for us, and we could live in the barn while we built the house.

So the trip was decided upon, and the building of the Snark began. We named her the Snark because we could not think of any other name—this information is given for the benefit of those who otherwise might think there is something occult in the name.

So the trip was planned, and the construction of the Snark began. We called her the Snark because we couldn’t come up with any other name—this detail is for those who might think there’s something mysterious about the name.

Our friends cannot understand why we make this voyage. They shudder, and moan, and raise their hands. No amount of explanation can make them comprehend that we are moving along the line of least resistance; that it is easier for us to go down to the sea in a small ship than to remain on dry land, just as it is easier for them to remain on dry land than to go down to the sea in the small ship. This state of mind comes of an undue prominence of the ego. They cannot get away from themselves. They cannot come out of themselves long enough to see that their line of least resistance is not necessarily everybody else’s line of least resistance. They make of their own bundle of desires, likes, and dislikes a yardstick wherewith to measure the desires, likes, and dislikes of all creatures. This is unfair. I tell them so. But they cannot get away from their own miserable egos long enough to hear me. They think I am crazy. In return, I am sympathetic. It is a state of mind familiar to me. We are all prone to think there is something wrong with the mental processes of the man who disagrees with us.

Our friends can’t understand why we’re making this journey. They gasp, complain, and throw up their hands. No matter how much we explain, they can’t grasp that we’re going for the path of least resistance; it’s easier for us to go to the sea in a small boat than to stay on solid ground, just like it’s easier for them to stay on land than to venture out to sea in a small boat. This way of thinking comes from an inflated sense of self. They can’t detach from their own perspectives. They can't step outside themselves long enough to realize that their easiest option isn’t necessarily everyone else’s easiest option. They use their own mix of wants, preferences, and aversions to judge the wants, preferences, and aversions of everyone else. That’s unfair. I tell them so. But they can’t pull away from their own petty egos long enough to listen to me. They think I’m out of my mind. I, on the other hand, can relate. It’s a mindset I know well. We all tend to believe there’s something off about the thinking of someone who disagrees with us.

The ultimate word is I LIKE. It lies beneath philosophy, and is twined about the heart of life. When philosophy has maundered ponderously for a month, telling the individual what he must do, the individual says, in an instant, “I LIKE,” and does something else, and philosophy goes glimmering. It is I LIKE that makes the drunkard drink and the martyr wear a hair shirt; that makes one man a reveller and another man an anchorite; that makes one man pursue fame, another gold, another love, and another God. Philosophy is very often a man’s way of explaining his own I LIKE.

The ultimate word is I LIKE. It goes deeper than philosophy and is intertwined with the essence of life. After philosophy has rambled on for a month, telling a person what they should do, that person may suddenly say, “I LIKE,” and choose to do something entirely different, leaving philosophy behind. It’s I LIKE that drives the drunk to drink and the martyr to wear a hair shirt; it makes one person a partygoer and another a hermit; it inspires one person to chase fame, another to seek wealth, another to find love, and another to pursue God. Philosophy is often just a way for a person to explain their own I LIKE.

But to return to the Snark, and why I, for one, want to journey in her around the world. The things I like constitute my set of values. The thing I like most of all is personal achievement—not achievement for the world’s applause, but achievement for my own delight. It is the old “I did it! I did it! With my own hands I did it!” But personal achievement, with me, must be concrete. I’d rather win a water-fight in the swimming pool, or remain astride a horse that is trying to get out from under me, than write the great American novel. Each man to his liking. Some other fellow would prefer writing the great American novel to winning the water-fight or mastering the horse.

But to get back to the Snark, and why I, for one, want to travel the world on her. The things I enjoy make up my set of values. What I like most of all is personal achievement—not achievement for the applause of the world, but achievement for my own satisfaction. It's the classic “I did it! I did it! With my own hands I did it!” But for me, personal achievement has to be tangible. I’d rather win a water fight in the pool or stay on a horse that's trying to shake me off than write the great American novel. Everyone has their preferences. Some other guy might prefer writing the great American novel over winning the water fight or mastering the horse.

Possibly the proudest achievement of my life, my moment of highest living, occurred when I was seventeen. I was in a three-masted schooner off the coast of Japan. We were in a typhoon. All hands had been on deck most of the night. I was called from my bunk at seven in the morning to take the wheel. Not a stitch of canvas was set. We were running before it under bare poles, yet the schooner fairly tore along. The seas were all of an eighth of a mile apart, and the wind snatched the whitecaps from their summits, filling. The air so thick with driving spray that it was impossible to see more than two waves at a time. The schooner was almost unmanageable, rolling her rail under to starboard and to port, veering and yawing anywhere between south-east and south-west, and threatening, when the huge seas lifted under her quarter, to broach to. Had she broached to, she would ultimately have been reported lost with all hands and no tidings.

Possibly the proudest achievement of my life, my moment of highest living, happened when I was seventeen. I was on a three-masted schooner off the coast of Japan. We were caught in a typhoon. Everyone had been on deck most of the night. I was called from my bunk at seven in the morning to take the wheel. Not a single piece of canvas was up. We were running before it under bare poles, yet the schooner was practically flying. The waves were about an eighth of a mile apart, and the wind whipped the whitecaps off their tops, filling the air with so much spray that it was impossible to see more than two waves at a time. The schooner was nearly unmanageable, rolling her rail under to starboard and to port, veering and yawing anywhere between southeast and southwest, and threatening to capsize when the massive waves lifted under her quarter. If she had capsized, she would have ultimately been reported lost with everyone on board and no news.

I took the wheel. The sailing-master watched me for a space. He was afraid of my youth, feared that I lacked the strength and the nerve. But when he saw me successfully wrestle the schooner through several bouts, he went below to breakfast. Fore and aft, all hands were below at breakfast. Had she broached to, not one of them would ever have reached the deck. For forty minutes I stood there alone at the wheel, in my grasp the wildly careering schooner and the lives of twenty-two men. Once we were pooped. I saw it coming, and, half-drowned, with tons of water crushing me, I checked the schooner’s rush to broach to. At the end of the hour, sweating and played out, I was relieved. But I had done it! With my own hands I had done my trick at the wheel and guided a hundred tons of wood and iron through a few million tons of wind and waves.

I took the wheel. The sailing master observed me for a bit. He was worried about my youth, concerned that I didn’t have the strength or the nerve. But when he saw me successfully handle the schooner through several challenges, he went below for breakfast. Fore and aft, everyone was down for breakfast. If the ship had capsized, not one of them would have made it back on deck. For forty minutes, I stood there alone at the wheel, controlling the wildly moving schooner and the lives of twenty-two men. At one point, we were caught off guard by a wave. I saw it coming, and, half-drenched with tons of water crashing on me, I managed to prevent the schooner from tipping over. By the end of the hour, exhausted and drenched in sweat, I was relieved. But I had done it! With my own hands, I had navigated a hundred tons of wood and iron through millions of tons of wind and waves.

My delight was in that I had done it—not in the fact that twenty-two men knew I had done it. Within the year over half of them were dead and gone, yet my pride in the thing performed was not diminished by half. I am willing to confess, however, that I do like a small audience. But it must be a very small audience, composed of those who love me and whom I love. When I then accomplish personal achievement, I have a feeling that I am justifying their love for me. But this is quite apart from the delight of the achievement itself. This delight is peculiarly my own and does not depend upon witnesses. When I have done some such thing, I am exalted. I glow all over. I am aware of a pride in myself that is mine, and mine alone. It is organic. Every fibre of me is thrilling with it. It is very natural. It is a mere matter of satisfaction at adjustment to environment. It is success.

My joy came from the fact that I had accomplished it—not from the awareness of twenty-two men knowing I had. Within the year, more than half of them were dead and gone, but my pride in what I had done was still intact. I admit, though, I do appreciate having a small audience. But it has to be a very small one, filled with people who love me and whom I love. When I achieve something personal, I feel like I’m validating their love for me. However, this feeling is separate from the joy of the achievement itself. That joy is uniquely mine and doesn’t rely on having witnesses. When I achieve something, I feel elevated. I radiate with happiness. I experience a pride in myself that is entirely my own. It's deep-rooted. Every part of me is buzzing with it. It feels completely natural. It’s simply the satisfaction of adapting to my surroundings. It’s success.

Life that lives is life successful, and success is the breath of its nostrils. The achievement of a difficult feat is successful adjustment to a sternly exacting environment. The more difficult the feat, the greater the satisfaction at its accomplishment. Thus it is with the man who leaps forward from the springboard, out over the swimming pool, and with a backward half-revolution of the body, enters the water head first. Once he leaves the springboard his environment becomes immediately savage, and savage the penalty it will exact should he fail and strike the water flat. Of course, the man does not have to run the risk of the penalty. He could remain on the bank in a sweet and placid environment of summer air, sunshine, and stability. Only he is not made that way. In that swift mid-air moment he lives as he could never live on the bank.

Life that thrives is life that succeeds, and success is its lifeblood. Achieving a tough challenge is adapting successfully to a demanding environment. The harder the challenge, the greater the satisfaction in accomplishing it. This is how it feels for a man who leaps off the springboard, soaring over the swimming pool, and with a backward half-roll, enters the water headfirst. Once he leaves the board, his surroundings become harsh, and the consequences will be severe if he fails and hits the water flat. Of course, he doesn’t have to risk that penalty. He could stay on the shore in the sweet, calm air of summer, basking in sunshine and stability. But that’s not who he is. In that quick moment in the air, he experiences life in a way he could never do from the bank.

As for myself, I’d rather be that man than the fellows who sit on the bank and watch him. That is why I am building the Snark. I am so made. I like, that is all. The trip around the world means big moments of living. Bear with me a moment and look at it. Here am I, a little animal called a man—a bit of vitalized matter, one hundred and sixty-five pounds of meat and blood, nerve, sinew, bones, and brain,—all of it soft and tender, susceptible to hurt, fallible, and frail. I strike a light back-handed blow on the nose of an obstreperous horse, and a bone in my hand is broken. I put my head under the water for five minutes, and I am drowned. I fall twenty feet through the air, and I am smashed. I am a creature of temperature. A few degrees one way, and my fingers and ears and toes blacken and drop off. A few degrees the other way, and my skin blisters and shrivels away from the raw, quivering flesh. A few additional degrees either way, and the life and the light in me go out. A drop of poison injected into my body from a snake, and I cease to move—for ever I cease to move. A splinter of lead from a rifle enters my head, and I am wrapped around in the eternal blackness.

As for me, I’d rather be that guy than the ones sitting on the sidelines and watching. That's why I'm building the Snark. It's just who I am. I like it, and that's all there is to it. Traveling around the world means experiencing significant moments of life. Just bear with me for a moment and consider this. Here I am, a little creature called a man—a piece of animated matter, one hundred sixty-five pounds of meat and blood, nerves, sinew, bones, and brain—all soft and tender, vulnerable to pain, fallible, and fragile. I throw a quick back-handed punch at a noisy horse, and I break a bone in my hand. I put my head underwater for five minutes, and I drown. I fall twenty feet through the air, and I get broken. I am affected by temperature. A few degrees one way, and my fingers, ears, and toes turn black and fall off. A few degrees the other way, and my skin blisters and peels away from the raw, trembling flesh. A few more degrees either way, and the life and light in me go out. Just a drop of poison from a snake, and I stop moving—forever, I stop moving. A bullet fragment from a rifle hits my head, and I’m enveloped in eternal darkness.

Fallible and frail, a bit of pulsating, jelly-like life—it is all I am. About me are the great natural forces—colossal menaces, Titans of destruction, unsentimental monsters that have less concern for me than I have for the grain of sand I crush under my foot. They have no concern at all for me. They do not know me. They are unconscious, unmerciful, and unmoral. They are the cyclones and tornadoes, lightning flashes and cloud-bursts, tide-rips and tidal waves, undertows and waterspouts, great whirls and sucks and eddies, earthquakes and volcanoes, surfs that thunder on rock-ribbed coasts and seas that leap aboard the largest crafts that float, crushing humans to pulp or licking them off into the sea and to death—and these insensate monsters do not know that tiny sensitive creature, all nerves and weaknesses, whom men call Jack London, and who himself thinks he is all right and quite a superior being.

Fallible and fragile, just a bit of pulsing, jelly-like life—that's all I am. Around me are the great forces of nature—massive threats, destructive titans, unsentimental monsters that care less about me than I do for the grain of sand I crush under my foot. They have no concern for me at all. They don’t know me. They are unconscious, merciless, and amoral. They are the cyclones and tornadoes, flashes of lightning and heavy rainfall, dangerous tides and tidal waves, whirlpools and waterspouts, massive currents and eddies, earthquakes and volcanoes, waves crashing on rugged coastlines and oceans that overcome the largest ships, crushing humans into nothing or sweeping them off into the sea and to their deaths—and these mindless monsters do not recognize that tiny, sensitive creature, all nerves and frailties, whom people call Jack London, who believes he is just fine and quite a superior being.

In the maze and chaos of the conflict of these vast and draughty Titans, it is for me to thread my precarious way. The bit of life that is I will exult over them. The bit of life that is I, in so far as it succeeds in baffling them or in bitting them to its service, will imagine that it is godlike. It is good to ride the tempest and feel godlike. I dare to assert that for a finite speck of pulsating jelly to feel godlike is a far more glorious feeling than for a god to feel godlike.

In the maze and chaos of the conflict among these enormous and tumultuous Titans, it's up to me to navigate my fragile way. The small part of life that is me will take pride over them. The bit of life that is me, to the extent it manages to confuse them or bend them to its service, will imagine itself as godlike. It's exhilarating to weather the storm and feel powerful. I firmly believe that for a tiny, living being to feel godlike is a far more magnificent experience than for a god to feel that way.

Here is the sea, the wind, and the wave. Here are the seas, the winds, and the waves of all the world. Here is ferocious environment. And here is difficult adjustment, the achievement of which is delight to the small quivering vanity that is I. I like. I am so made. It is my own particular form of vanity, that is all.

Here is the sea, the wind, and the wave. Here are the seas, the winds, and the waves of the entire world. Here is a fierce environment. And here is a tough adjustment, the success of which brings joy to the small, trembling vanity that is me. I like it. I’m just made this way. It’s my own special kind of vanity, that’s all.

There is also another side to the voyage of the Snark. Being alive, I want to see, and all the world is a bigger thing to see than one small town or valley. We have done little outlining of the voyage. Only one thing is definite, and that is that our first port of call will be Honolulu. Beyond a few general ideas, we have no thought of our next port after Hawaii. We shall make up our minds as we get nearer, in a general way we know that we shall wander through the South Seas, take in Samoa, New Zealand, Tasmania, Australia, New Guinea, Borneo, and Sumatra, and go on up through the Philippines to Japan. Then will come Korea, China, India, the Red Sea, and the Mediterranean. After that the voyage becomes too vague to describe, though we know a number of things we shall surely do, and we expect to spend from one to several months in every country in Europe.

There’s another aspect to the journey of the Snark. Being alive, I want to explore, and the whole world offers more to see than just one small town or valley. We haven't laid out much of the trip. The only thing that's certain is that our first stop will be Honolulu. Aside from a few broad ideas, we haven't decided on our next destination after Hawaii. We’ll figure things out as we get closer; generally, we know we'll wander through the South Seas, hitting Samoa, New Zealand, Tasmania, Australia, New Guinea, Borneo, and Sumatra, then travel up through the Philippines to Japan. After that, we’ll head to Korea, China, India, the Red Sea, and the Mediterranean. Beyond that, the voyage gets too uncertain to detail, although we have a number of activities in mind that we will definitely pursue, and we plan to spend anywhere from one to several months in each country in Europe.

The Snark is to be sailed. There will be a gasolene engine on board, but it will be used only in case of emergency, such as in bad water among reefs and shoals, where a sudden calm in a swift current leaves a sailing-boat helpless. The rig of the Snark is to be what is called the “ketch.” The ketch rig is a compromise between the yawl and the schooner. Of late years the yawl rig has proved the best for cruising. The ketch retains the cruising virtues of the yawl, and in addition manages to embrace a few of the sailing virtues of the schooner. The foregoing must be taken with a pinch of salt. It is all theory in my head. I’ve never sailed a ketch, nor even seen one. The theory commends itself to me. Wait till I get out on the ocean, then I’ll be able to tell more about the cruising and sailing qualities of the ketch.

The Snark is set to be sailed. There will be a gasoline engine on board, but it will only be used in emergencies, like in rough waters among reefs and shoals, where a sudden calm in a swift current leaves a sailboat stranded. The rig of the Snark will be what’s called a “ketch.” The ketch rig is a balance between a yawl and a schooner. In recent years, the yawl rig has proven to be the best for cruising. The ketch keeps the cruising benefits of the yawl while also incorporating some of the sailing advantages of the schooner. You should take this with a grain of salt. It’s all just theory in my head. I’ve never sailed a ketch or even seen one. The theory sounds good to me. Just wait until I hit the ocean; then I'll be able to share more about the cruising and sailing qualities of the ketch.

As originally planned, the Snark was to be forty feet long on the water-line. But we discovered there was no space for a bath-room, and for that reason we have increased her length to forty-five feet. Her greatest beam is fifteen feet. She has no house and no hold. There is six feet of headroom, and the deck is unbroken save for two companionways and a hatch for’ard. The fact that there is no house to break the strength of the deck will make us feel safer in case great seas thunder their tons of water down on board. A large and roomy cockpit, sunk beneath the deck, with high rail and self-bailing, will make our rough-weather days and nights more comfortable.

As originally planned, the Snark was supposed to be forty feet long at the water line. However, we found there was no space for a bathroom, so we increased its length to forty-five feet. Its widest point is fifteen feet. It has no cabin and no hold. There's six feet of headroom, and the deck is uninterrupted except for two companionways and a hatch at the front. The absence of a cabin, which would have weakened the deck, will make us feel safer if heavy waves crash down on us. A large, spacious cockpit, set lower than the deck, with high rails and self-draining features, will make our rough days and nights more comfortable.

There will be no crew. Or, rather, Charmian, Roscoe, and I are the crew. We are going to do the thing with our own hands. With our own hands we’re going to circumnavigate the globe. Sail her or sink her, with our own hands we’ll do it. Of course there will be a cook and a cabin-boy. Why should we stew over a stove, wash dishes, and set the table? We could stay on land if we wanted to do those things. Besides, we’ve got to stand watch and work the ship. And also, I’ve got to work at my trade of writing in order to feed us and to get new sails and tackle and keep the Snark in efficient working order. And then there’s the ranch; I’ve got to keep the vineyard, orchard, and hedges growing.

There won’t be a crew. Well, actually, Charmian, Roscoe, and I are the crew. We're going to do everything ourselves. We're going to sail around the world with our own hands. Whether we sail her or sink her, we’ll handle it all ourselves. Of course, there will be a cook and a cabin boy. Why should we worry about cooking, washing dishes, and setting the table? We could just stay on land if that’s what we wanted. Plus, we need to keep watch and manage the ship. Also, I have to focus on my writing to support us and get new sails and equipment to keep the Snark running smoothly. And I can’t forget about the ranch; I need to take care of the vineyard, orchard, and hedges.

When we increased the length of the Snark in order to get space for a bath-room, we found that all the space was not required by the bath-room. Because of this, we increased the size of the engine. Seventy horse-power our engine is, and since we expect it to drive us along at a nine-knot clip, we do not know the name of a river with a current swift enough to defy us.

When we lengthened the Snark to make room for a bathroom, we discovered that we didn’t need all the extra space for the bathroom. Because of this, we enlarged the engine. Our engine is seventy horsepower, and since we anticipate it will propel us at a speed of nine knots, we can't think of any river with a current strong enough to challenge us.

We expect to do a lot of inland work. The smallness of the Snark makes this possible. When we enter the land, out go the masts and on goes the engine. There are the canals of China, and the Yang-tse River. We shall spend months on them if we can get permission from the government. That will be the one obstacle to our inland voyaging—governmental permission. But if we can get that permission, there is scarcely a limit to the inland voyaging we can do.

We plan to do a lot of work on land. The size of the Snark makes this possible. When we reach the land, we'll take down the masts and put in the engine. We have the canals of China and the Yangtze River ahead of us. We’ll spend months exploring them if we can get permission from the government. That will be our main hurdle for inland travel—government permission. But if we can secure that, there’s almost no limit to the inland exploration we can undertake.

When we come to the Nile, why we can go up the Nile. We can go up the Danube to Vienna, up the Thames to London, and we can go up the Seine to Paris and moor opposite the Latin Quarter with a bow-line out to Notre Dame and a stern-line fast to the Morgue. We can leave the Mediterranean and go up the Rhône to Lyons, there enter the Saône, cross from the Saône to the Maine through the Canal de Bourgogne, and from the Marne enter the Seine and go out the Seine at Havre. When we cross the Atlantic to the United States, we can go up the Hudson, pass through the Erie Canal, cross the Great Lakes, leave Lake Michigan at Chicago, gain the Mississippi by way of the Illinois River and the connecting canal, and go down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico. And then there are the great rivers of South America. We’ll know something about geography when we get back to California.

When we reach the Nile, we can travel up the Nile. We can navigate up the Danube to Vienna, up the Thames to London, and up the Seine to Paris, mooring across from the Latin Quarter with a bow line out to Notre Dame and a stern line secured to the Morgue. We can depart from the Mediterranean and travel up the Rhône to Lyon, then enter the Saône, cross from the Saône to the Maine via the Canal de Bourgogne, and from the Marne enter the Seine and exit the Seine at Havre. When we cross the Atlantic to the United States, we can go up the Hudson, pass through the Erie Canal, navigate across the Great Lakes, leave Lake Michigan at Chicago, access the Mississippi through the Illinois River and the connecting canal, and travel down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico. And then there are the major rivers of South America. We’ll know a lot about geography when we return to California.

People that build houses are often sore perplexed; but if they enjoy the strain of it, I’ll advise them to build a boat like the Snark. Just consider, for a moment, the strain of detail. Take the engine. What is the best kind of engine—the two cycle? three cycle? four cycle? My lips are mutilated with all kinds of strange jargon, my mind is mutilated with still stranger ideas and is foot-sore and weary from travelling in new and rocky realms of thought.—Ignition methods; shall it be make-and-break or jump-spark? Shall dry cells or storage batteries be used? A storage battery commends itself, but it requires a dynamo. How powerful a dynamo? And when we have installed a dynamo and a storage battery, it is simply ridiculous not to light the boat with electricity. Then comes the discussion of how many lights and how many candle-power. It is a splendid idea. But electric lights will demand a more powerful storage battery, which, in turn, demands a more powerful dynamo.

People who build houses are often really confused; but if they enjoy the challenge, I’d suggest they build a boat like the Snark. Just think about the complicated details involved. Take the engine. What’s the best type of engine—the two-cycle? three-cycle? four-cycle? My lips are worn out with all kinds of weird jargon, and my mind is exhausted and sore from wandering through new and challenging ideas. —Ignition methods; should it be make-and-break or jump-spark? Should we use dry cells or storage batteries? A storage battery seems like a good choice, but it needs a dynamo. How powerful should the dynamo be? And once we have a dynamo and a storage battery installed, it’s just silly not to light the boat with electricity. Then there's the debate about how many lights we should have and what wattage we need. It’s a great idea. But electric lights will require a stronger storage battery, which means we need a more powerful dynamo.

And now that we’ve gone in for it, why not have a searchlight? It would be tremendously useful. But the searchlight needs so much electricity that when it runs it will put all the other lights out of commission. Again we travel the weary road in the quest after more power for storage battery and dynamo. And then, when it is finally solved, some one asks, “What if the engine breaks down?” And we collapse. There are the sidelights, the binnacle light, and the anchor light. Our very lives depend upon them. So we have to fit the boat throughout with oil lamps as well.

And now that we’re committed, why not get a searchlight? It would be really helpful. But the searchlight requires so much electricity that when it’s on, it’ll knock out all the other lights. So we continue down the exhausting path of trying to find more power for the storage battery and dynamo. And then, just when we think we have it figured out, someone raises the question, “What if the engine fails?” And we feel defeated. There are the sidelights, the binnacle light, and the anchor light. Our very safety relies on them. So we also have to equip the boat with oil lamps throughout.

But we are not done with that engine yet. The engine is powerful. We are two small men and a small woman. It will break our hearts and our backs to hoist anchor by hand. Let the engine do it. And then comes the problem of how to convey power for’ard from the engine to the winch. And by the time all this is settled, we redistribute the allotments of space to the engine-room, galley, bath-room, state-rooms, and cabin, and begin all over again. And when we have shifted the engine, I send off a telegram of gibberish to its makers at New York, something like this: Toggle-joint abandoned change thrust-bearing accordingly distance from forward side of flywheel to face of stern post sixteen feet six inches.

But we’re not finished with that engine yet. The engine is strong. We’re just two small guys and a small woman. It’s going to break our hearts and our backs to lift the anchor by hand. Let the engine take care of it. Then there’s the issue of how to transfer power from the engine to the winch. By the time we figure all this out, we have to reorganize the space in the engine room, kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, and cabins, and start all over again. Once we’ve moved the engine, I send a confusing telegram to its creators in New York, something like this: Toggle-joint abandoned change thrust-bearing accordingly distance from forward side of flywheel to face of stern post sixteen feet six inches.

Just potter around in quest of the best steering gear, or try to decide whether you will set up your rigging with old-fashioned lanyards or with turnbuckles, if you want strain of detail. Shall the binnacle be located in front of the wheel in the centre of the beam, or shall it be located to one side in front of the wheel?—there’s room right there for a library of sea-dog controversy. Then there’s the problem of gasolene, fifteen hundred gallons of it—what are the safest ways to tank it and pipe it? and which is the best fire-extinguisher for a gasolene fire? Then there is the pretty problem of the life-boat and the stowage of the same. And when that is finished, come the cook and cabin-boy to confront one with nightmare possibilities. It is a small boat, and we’ll be packed close together. The servant-girl problem of landsmen pales to insignificance. We did select one cabin-boy, and by that much were our troubles eased. And then the cabin-boy fell in love and resigned.

Just mess around looking for the best steering gear, or try to figure out if you want to set up your rigging with old-school lanyards or with turnbuckles if you're into the nitty-gritty. Should the binnacle be placed right in front of the wheel in the center of the beam, or off to one side in front of the wheel?—there’s plenty of room for a whole library of sailor debates. Then there's the issue of gasoline, fifteen hundred gallons of it—what are the safest ways to store and pipe it? And what’s the best fire extinguisher for a gasoline fire? Then there’s the tricky problem of the lifeboat and how to store it. And when that’s done, the cook and cabin boy will bring a whole new set of nightmare scenarios. It’s a small boat, and we’ll be packed in tight. The issues of hiring a servant-girl on land seem trivial by comparison. We did choose one cabin boy, which made things a bit easier. But then the cabin boy fell in love and quit.

And in the meanwhile how is a fellow to find time to study navigation—when he is divided between these problems and the earning of the money wherewith to settle the problems? Neither Roscoe nor I know anything about navigation, and the summer is gone, and we are about to start, and the problems are thicker than ever, and the treasury is stuffed with emptiness. Well, anyway, it takes years to learn seamanship, and both of us are seamen. If we don’t find the time, we’ll lay in the books and instruments and teach ourselves navigation on the ocean between San Francisco and Hawaii.

And in the meantime, how is someone supposed to find time to study navigation when they're caught up in these issues and trying to earn the money to solve them? Neither Roscoe nor I know anything about navigation, the summer is over, we're about to set out, the problems keep piling up, and our finances are empty. Well, anyway, it takes years to learn seamanship, and both of us are sailors. If we can’t find the time, we’ll stock up on books and tools and teach ourselves navigation on the ocean between San Francisco and Hawaii.

There is one unfortunate and perplexing phase of the voyage of the Snark. Roscoe, who is to be my co-navigator, is a follower of one, Cyrus R. Teed. Now Cyrus R. Teed has a different cosmology from the one generally accepted, and Roscoe shares his views. Wherefore Roscoe believes that the surface of the earth is concave and that we live on the inside of a hollow sphere. Thus, though we shall sail on the one boat, the Snark, Roscoe will journey around the world on the inside, while I shall journey around on the outside. But of this, more anon. We threaten to be of the one mind before the voyage is completed. I am confident that I shall convert him into making the journey on the outside, while he is equally confident that before we arrive back in San Francisco I shall be on the inside of the earth. How he is going to get me through the crust I don’t know, but Roscoe is ay a masterful man.

There’s one unfortunate and confusing part of the journey on the Snark. Roscoe, who will be my co-navigator, follows a guy named Cyrus R. Teed. Now, Teed has a completely different view of the universe than what most people accept, and Roscoe agrees with him. Because of this, Roscoe believes that the surface of the Earth is concave and that we live on the inside of a hollow sphere. So, while we’ll be sailing on the same boat, the Snark, Roscoe will be traveling around the world on the inside, while I’ll be on the outside. But more on that later. We’re bound to come to a shared understanding before the trip is over. I’m sure I’ll convince him to take the journey on the outside, while he’s just as sure that by the time we get back to San Francisco, I’ll be inside the Earth. How he plans to get me through the crust, I have no idea, but Roscoe is a very persuasive guy.

 

P.S.—That engine! While we’ve got it, and the dynamo, and the storage battery, why not have an ice-machine? Ice in the tropics! It is more necessary than bread. Here goes for the ice-machine! Now I am plunged into chemistry, and my lips hurt, and my mind hurts, and how am I ever to find the time to study navigation?

P.S.—That engine! Since we have it, along with the generator and the battery, why not get an ice machine? Ice in the tropics! It’s more essential than bread. Let's go for the ice machine! Now I’m diving into chemistry, and my lips hurt, my brain hurts, and how am I ever going to find the time to study navigation?

CHAPTER II
THE UNTHINKABLE AND MONSTROUS

Spare no money,” I said to Roscoe. “Let everything on the Snark be of the best. And never mind decoration. Plain pine boards is good enough finishing for me. But put the money into the construction. Let the Snark be as staunch and strong as any boat afloat. Never mind what it costs to make her staunch and strong; you see that she is made staunch and strong, and I’ll go on writing and earning the money to pay for it.”

Don't hold back on spending,” I told Roscoe. “Make everything on the Snark top-notch. And forget about decoration. Plain pine boards are fine for me. But invest in the construction. Ensure the Snark is as sturdy and strong as any boat out there. Don't worry about the cost to make her sturdy and strong; just make sure she is built well, and I’ll keep writing and earning the money to cover it.”

And I did . . . as well as I could; for the Snark ate up money faster than I could earn it. In fact, every little while I had to borrow money with which to supplement my earnings. Now I borrowed one thousand dollars, now I borrowed two thousand dollars, and now I borrowed five thousand dollars. And all the time I went on working every day and sinking the earnings in the venture. I worked Sundays as well, and I took no holidays. But it was worth it. Every time I thought of the Snark I knew she was worth it.

And I did... as well as I could; because the Snark consumed money faster than I could make it. In fact, every little while I had to borrow money to make up for my earnings. Sometimes I borrowed one thousand dollars, sometimes two thousand, and sometimes five thousand dollars. Throughout it all, I continued working every day and pouring my earnings into the project. I worked on Sundays too and didn’t take any holidays. But it was worth it. Every time I thought of the Snark, I knew she was worth it.

For know, gentle reader, the staunchness of the Snark. She is forty-five feet long on the waterline. Her garboard strake is three inches thick; her planking two and one-half inches thick; her deck-planking two inches thick and in all her planking there are no butts. I know, for I ordered that planking especially from Puget Sound. Then the Snark has four water-tight compartments, which is to say that her length is broken by three water-tight bulkheads. Thus, no matter how large a leak the Snark may spring, Only one compartment can fill with water. The other three compartments will keep her afloat, anyway, and, besides, will enable us to mend the leak. There is another virtue in these bulkheads. The last compartment of all, in the very stern, contains six tanks that carry over one thousand gallons of gasolene. Now gasolene is a very dangerous article to carry in bulk on a small craft far out on the wide ocean. But when the six tanks that do not leak are themselves contained in a compartment hermetically sealed off from the rest of the boat, the danger will be seen to be very small indeed.

For your information, dear reader, the durability of the Snark is impressive. She’s forty-five feet long at the waterline. Her garboard strake is three inches thick, her planking is two and a half inches thick, and her deck planking is two inches thick, and there are no joints in any of her planking. I know this because I specifically ordered that planking from Puget Sound. The Snark also has four watertight compartments, which means that her length is divided by three watertight bulkheads. So, no matter how big a leak the Snark might spring, only one compartment can fill with water. The other three compartments will keep her afloat and will allow us to repair the leak. There's another benefit to these bulkheads. The last compartment, located in the stern, has six tanks that hold over one thousand gallons of gasoline. Now, gasoline is quite dangerous to transport in large quantities on a small boat far out in the ocean. But when the six leak-proof tanks are housed in a compartment that’s completely sealed off from the rest of the boat, the risk becomes minimal.

The Snark is a sail-boat. She was built primarily to sail. But incidentally, as an auxiliary, a seventy-horse-power engine was installed. This is a good, strong engine. I ought to know. I paid for it to come out all the way from New York City. Then, on deck, above the engine, is a windlass. It is a magnificent affair. It weighs several hundred pounds and takes up no end of deck-room. You see, it is ridiculous to hoist up anchor by hand-power when there is a seventy-horse-power engine on board. So we installed the windlass, transmitting power to it from the engine by means of a gear and castings specially made in a San Francisco foundry.

The Snark is a sailboat. She was mainly built for sailing. But, as a bonus, a seventy-horsepower engine was added. It’s a solid, reliable engine. I should know; I paid for it to be shipped all the way from New York City. Then, on deck, above the engine, there’s a windlass. It’s an impressive piece of machinery. It weighs several hundred pounds and takes up a lot of deck space. You see, it’s silly to pull up the anchor by hand when there’s a seventy-horsepower engine on board. So we installed the windlass, connecting it to the engine with a gear and castings specifically made in a San Francisco foundry.

The Snark was made for comfort, and no expense was spared in this regard. There is the bath-room, for instance, small and compact, it is true, but containing all the conveniences of any bath-room upon land. The bath-room is a beautiful dream of schemes and devices, pumps, and levers, and sea-valves. Why, in the course of its building, I used to lie awake nights thinking about that bath-room. And next to the bath-room come the life-boat and the launch. They are carried on deck, and they take up what little space might have been left us for exercise. But then, they beat life insurance; and the prudent man, even if he has built as staunch and strong a craft as the Snark, will see to it that he has a good life-boat as well. And ours is a good one. It is a dandy. It was stipulated to cost one hundred and fifty dollars, and when I came to pay the bill, it turned out to be three hundred and ninety-five dollars. That shows how good a life-boat it is.

The Snark was designed for comfort, and no expense was spared in that aspect. Take the bathroom, for example—it's small and compact, true, but it has all the amenities you'd expect in a land bathroom. The bathroom is a beautiful dream filled with various gadgets, pumps, levers, and sea valves. Honestly, during its construction, I would lie awake at night thinking about that bathroom. Next to the bathroom are the lifeboat and the launch. They’re stored on deck and take up most of the little space we might have had left for exercise. But they’re better than life insurance; a sensible person, even if they’ve built a sturdy vessel like the Snark, will make sure they have a good lifeboat too. And ours is excellent. It’s top-notch. It was supposed to cost one hundred and fifty dollars, but when I went to pay the bill, it ended up being three hundred and ninety-five dollars. That just shows how great a lifeboat it is.

I could go on at great length relating the various virtues and excellences of the Snark, but I refrain. I have bragged enough as it is, and I have bragged to a purpose, as will be seen before my tale is ended. And please remember its title, “The Inconceivable and Monstrous.” It was planned that the Snark should sail on October 1, 1906. That she did not so sail was inconceivable and monstrous. There was no valid reason for not sailing except that she was not ready to sail, and there was no conceivable reason why she was not ready. She was promised on November first, on November fifteenth, on December first; and yet she was never ready. On December first Charmian and I left the sweet, clean Sonoma country and came down to live in the stifling city—but not for long, oh, no, only for two weeks, for we would sail on December fifteenth. And I guess we ought to know, for Roscoe said so, and it was on his advice that we came to the city to stay two weeks. Alas, the two weeks went by, four weeks went by, six weeks went by, eight weeks went by, and we were farther away from sailing than ever. Explain it? Who?—me? I can’t. It is the one thing in all my life that I have backed down on. There is no explaining it; if there were, I’d do it. I, who am an artisan of speech, confess my inability to explain why the Snark was not ready. As I have said, and as I must repeat, it was inconceivable and monstrous.

I could go on for a while talking about the various qualities and greatness of the Snark, but I’ll hold back. I’ve boasted enough as it is, and I’ve done it for a reason, as you’ll see by the end of my story. And don’t forget its title, “The Inconceivable and Monstrous.” The plan was for the Snark to set sail on October 1, 1906. The fact that she didn’t was both inconceivable and monstrous. There was no good reason for her not sailing other than she wasn’t ready, and there was no understandable reason why she wasn’t ready. She was promised to launch on November first, November fifteenth, and December first; yet, she was never ready. On December first, Charmian and I left the lovely, clean Sonoma countryside and moved to the stuffy city—but only for a short time, oh no, just for two weeks, because we were supposed to set sail on December fifteenth. And we should know, since Roscoe said so, and it was on his advice that we came to the city for two weeks. Unfortunately, those two weeks passed, then four weeks, six weeks, eight weeks, and we were further away from sailing than ever. Explain it? Who? —me? I can’t. It’s the one thing in my entire life that I can’t figure out. There’s no explanation; if there were, I’d provide it. I, who am a master of words, admit my inability to explain why the Snark wasn't ready. As I’ve said, and will repeat, it was inconceivable and monstrous.

The eight weeks became sixteen weeks, and then, one day, Roscoe cheered us up by saying: “If we don’t sail before April first, you can use my head for a football.”

The eight weeks turned into sixteen weeks, and then, one day, Roscoe lifted our spirits by saying, “If we don’t set sail before April first, you can use my head for a football.”

Two weeks later he said, “I’m getting my head in training for that match.”

Two weeks later he said, “I’m getting my mind ready for that match.”

“Never mind,” Charmian and I said to each other; “think of the wonderful boat it is going to be when it is completed.”

“Never mind,” Charmian and I said to each other; “just think about how amazing the boat is going to be once it's finished.”

Whereat we would rehearse for our mutual encouragement the manifold virtues and excellences of the Snark. Also, I would borrow more money, and I would get down closer to my desk and write harder, and I refused heroically to take a Sunday off and go out into the hills with my friends. I was building a boat, and by the eternal it was going to be a boat, and a boat spelled out all in capitals—B—O—A—T; and no matter what it cost I didn’t care. So long as it was a B O A T.

Where we would take time to review the many virtues and qualities of the Snark. Also, I would borrow more money, and I would sit closer to my desk and write harder, and I stubbornly refused to take a Sunday off to go out into the hills with my friends. I was building a boat, and it was going to be a boat, and a boat spelled out in all capitals—B—O—A—T; and no matter what it cost, I didn’t care. As long as it was a B O A T.

And, oh, there is one other excellence of the Snark, upon which I must brag, namely, her bow. No sea could ever come over it. It laughs at the sea, that bow does; it challenges the sea; it snorts defiance at the sea. And withal it is a beautiful bow; the lines of it are dreamlike; I doubt if ever a boat was blessed with a more beautiful and at the same time a more capable bow. It was made to punch storms. To touch that bow is to rest one’s hand on the cosmic nose of things. To look at it is to realize that expense cut no figure where it was concerned. And every time our sailing was delayed, or a new expense was tacked on, we thought of that wonderful bow and were content.

And, oh, there’s one more amazing thing about the Snark that I have to brag about: her bow. No wave could ever overcome it. That bow laughs at the sea; it challenges the sea; it defiantly snorts at the sea. And it's a stunning bow; its lines are almost like a dream; I doubt any boat has ever been blessed with a more beautiful yet capable bow. It was designed to take on storms. To touch that bow is like resting your hand on the cosmic essence of things. Looking at it makes it clear that money was no object when it came to that bow. And every time our sailing was delayed or new costs were added, we thought of that incredible bow and felt satisfied.

The Snark is a small boat. When I figured seven thousand dollars as her generous cost, I was both generous and correct. I have built barns and houses, and I know the peculiar trait such things have of running past their estimated cost. This knowledge was mine, was already mine, when I estimated the probable cost of the building of the Snark at seven thousand dollars. Well, she cost thirty thousand. Now don’t ask me, please. It is the truth. I signed the cheques and I raised the money. Of course there is no explaining it, inconceivable and monstrous is what it is, as you will agree, I know, ere my tale is done.

The Snark is a small boat. When I estimated her cost at seven thousand dollars, I was being both generous and accurate. I've built barns and houses, so I know how these projects often end up costing more than expected. This knowledge was mine, and I was aware of it when I calculated the likely cost of building the Snark at seven thousand dollars. Well, she ended up costing thirty thousand. Now, please don't ask me how. It's the truth. I signed the checks and raised the funds. Of course, there's no explaining it; it's inconceivable and outrageous, as you will agree, I'm sure, by the time I finish my story.

Then there was the matter of delay. I dealt with forty-seven different kinds of union men and with one hundred and fifteen different firms. And not one union man and not one firm of all the union men and all the firms ever delivered anything at the time agreed upon, nor ever was on time for anything except pay-day and bill-collection. Men pledged me their immortal souls that they would deliver a certain thing on a certain date; as a rule, after such pledging, they rarely exceeded being three months late in delivery. And so it went, and Charmian and I consoled each other by saying what a splendid boat the Snark was, so staunch and strong; also, we would get into the small boat and row around the Snark, and gloat over her unbelievably wonderful bow.

Then there was the issue of delays. I worked with forty-seven different types of union workers and one hundred and fifteen different companies. And not a single union worker or company ever delivered anything on the agreed date, nor were they ever on time for anything except payday and bill collection. People promised me their eternal souls that they would deliver a specific item by a certain date; usually, after such promises, they were rarely less than three months late. And so it went, with Charmian and me comforting each other by saying what an incredible boat the Snark was, so sturdy and reliable; plus, we would get into the small boat and row around the Snark, admiring her unbelievably beautiful bow.

“Think,” I would say to Charmian, “of a gale off the China coast, and of the Snark hove to, that splendid bow of hers driving into the storm. Not a drop will come over that bow. She’ll be as dry as a feather, and we’ll be all below playing whist while the gale howls.”

“Just imagine,” I would say to Charmian, “a storm off the China coast, and the Snark anchored there, her beautiful bow cutting through the waves. Not a single drop will splash over the bow. She’ll be as dry as a feather, and we’ll all be below playing cards while the storm rages outside.”

And Charmian would press my hand enthusiastically and exclaim: “It’s worth every bit of it—the delay, and expense, and worry, and all the rest. Oh, what a truly wonderful boat!”

And Charmian would squeeze my hand excitedly and say: “It’s totally worth it—the delay, the cost, the stress, and everything else. Oh, what an amazing boat!”

Whenever I looked at the bow of the Snark or thought of her water-tight compartments, I was encouraged. Nobody else, however, was encouraged. My friends began to make bets against the various sailing dates of the Snark. Mr. Wiget, who was left behind in charge of our Sonoma ranch was the first to cash his bet. He collected on New Year’s Day, 1907. After that the bets came fast and furious. My friends surrounded me like a gang of harpies, making bets against every sailing date I set. I was rash, and I was stubborn. I bet, and I bet, and I continued to bet; and I paid them all. Why, the women-kind of my friends grew so brave that those among them who never bet before began to bet with me. And I paid them, too.

Whenever I looked at the bow of the Snark or thought about her water-tight compartments, I felt hopeful. However, nobody else shared that sentiment. My friends started placing bets on the various sailing dates of the Snark. Mr. Wiget, who was left in charge of our Sonoma ranch, was the first to cash in on his bet. He collected on New Year’s Day, 1907. After that, the bets came in quickly. My friends surrounded me like a bunch of vultures, betting against every sailing date I announced. I was reckless and stubborn. I kept betting, and I kept losing; and I paid them all. In fact, the women in my friend group became so bold that even those who had never placed bets before started betting against me. And I paid them as well.

“Never mind,” said Charmian to me; “just think of that bow and of being hove to on the China Seas.”

“Never mind,” Charmian said to me; “just think about that bow and being adrift on the China Seas.”

“You see,” I said to my friends, when I paid the latest bunch of wagers, “neither trouble nor cash is being spared in making the Snark the most seaworthy craft that ever sailed out through the Golden Gate—that is what causes all the delay.”

“You see,” I said to my friends, when I settled the latest round of bets, “neither effort nor money is being spared to make the Snark the most seaworthy boat that ever sailed out through the Golden Gate—that's what’s causing all the delay.”

In the meantime editors and publishers with whom I had contracts pestered me with demands for explanations. But how could I explain to them, when I was unable to explain to myself, or when there was nobody, not even Roscoe, to explain to me? The newspapers began to laugh at me, and to publish rhymes anent the Snark’s departure with refrains like, “Not yet, but soon.” And Charmian cheered me up by reminding me of the bow, and I went to a banker and borrowed five thousand more. There was one recompense for the delay, however. A friend of mine, who happens to be a critic, wrote a roast of me, of all I had done, and of all I ever was going to do; and he planned to have it published after I was out on the ocean. I was still on shore when it came out, and he has been busy explaining ever since.

In the meantime, the editors and publishers I had contracts with were bugging me for explanations. But how could I explain to them when I couldn't even explain it to myself, or when there was nobody, not even Roscoe, to explain it to me? The newspapers started laughing at me and published rhymes about the Snark's departure with lines like, “Not yet, but soon.” Charmian cheered me up by reminding me about the bow, and I went to a banker and borrowed another five thousand. There was one silver lining to the delay, though. A friend of mine, who's a critic, wrote a scathing review of everything I had done and everything I planned to do, and he intended to publish it after I was out on the ocean. I was still on land when it came out, and he’s been busy explaining ever since.

And the time continued to go by. One thing was becoming apparent, namely, that it was impossible to finish the Snark in San Francisco. She had been so long in the building that she was beginning to break down and wear out. In fact, she had reached the stage where she was breaking down faster than she could be repaired. She had become a joke. Nobody took her seriously; least of all the men who worked on her. I said we would sail just as she was and finish building her in Honolulu. Promptly she sprang a leak that had to be attended to before we could sail. I started her for the boat-ways. Before she got to them she was caught between two huge barges and received a vigorous crushing. We got her on the ways, and, part way along, the ways spread and dropped her through, stern-first, into the mud.

And time kept passing. One thing was becoming clear, that finishing the Snark in San Francisco was impossible. She had been under construction for so long that she was starting to break down and wear out. In fact, she had reached the point where she was falling apart faster than we could fix her. She had turned into a joke. Nobody took her seriously; especially not the men working on her. I suggested we set sail just as she was and finish building her in Honolulu. Then she sprang a leak that needed to be fixed before we could leave. I started her toward the boat-ways. Before she arrived, she got caught between two massive barges and was vigorously crushed. We got her on the ways, but partway through, the ways spread apart and dropped her, bow first, into the mud.

It was a pretty tangle, a job for wreckers, not boat-builders. There are two high tides every twenty-four hours, and at every high tide, night and day, for a week, there were two steam tugs pulling and hauling on the Snark. There she was, stuck, fallen between the ways and standing on her stern. Next, and while still in that predicament, we started to use the gears and castings made in the local foundry whereby power was conveyed from the engine to the windlass. It was the first time we ever tried to use that windlass. The castings had flaws; they shattered asunder, the gears ground together, and the windlass was out of commission. Following upon that, the seventy-horse-power engine went out of commission. This engine came from New York; so did its bed-plate; there was a flaw in the bed-plate; there were a lot of flaws in the bed-plate; and the seventy-horse-power engine broke away from its shattered foundations, reared up in the air, smashed all connections and fastenings, and fell over on its side. And the Snark continued to stick between the spread ways, and the two tugs continued to haul vainly upon her.

It was a real mess, a job for wreckers, not boat builders. There are two high tides every twenty-four hours, and at every high tide, day and night, for a week, two steam tugs were pulling and tugging on the Snark. There she was, stuck, fallen between the supports and standing on her stern. Next, while still in that situation, we began to use the gears and castings made in the local foundry to transfer power from the engine to the windlass. It was the first time we ever tried to use that windlass. The castings had defects; they shattered, the gears ground together, and the windlass was out of order. After that, the seventy-horsepower engine failed too. This engine came from New York; so did its bed-plate; there was a flaw in the bed-plate; there were a lot of flaws in the bed-plate; and the seventy-horsepower engine broke free from its shattered foundations, reared up in the air, smashed all connections and fastenings, and fell over onto its side. And the Snark continued to be stuck between the spread supports, while the two tugs kept hauling on her in vain.

“Never mind,” said Charmian, “think of what a staunch, strong boat she is.”

“Never mind,” said Charmian, “just think about what a sturdy, reliable boat she is.”

“Yes,” said I, “and of that beautiful bow.”

“Yes,” I said, “and about that beautiful bow.”

So we took heart and went at it again. The ruined engine was lashed down on its rotten foundation; the smashed castings and cogs of the power transmission were taken down and stored away—all for the purpose of taking them to Honolulu where repairs and new castings could be made. Somewhere in the dim past the Snark had received on the outside one coat of white paint. The intention of the colour was still evident, however, when one got it in the right light. The Snark had never received any paint on the inside. On the contrary, she was coated inches thick with the grease and tobacco-juice of the multitudinous mechanics who had toiled upon her. Never mind, we said; the grease and filth could be planed off, and later, when we fetched Honolulu, the Snark could be painted at the same time as she was being rebuilt.

So we gathered our courage and went at it again. The broken engine was secured to its decayed base; the damaged parts and gears of the power transmission were taken apart and stored—all to bring them to Honolulu for repairs and new parts. At some point in the past, the Snark had been given a coat of white paint on the outside. The intention behind the color was still visible if you caught it in the right light. The Snark had never been painted on the inside. Instead, it was caked inches thick with the grease and tobacco juice from the many mechanics who had worked on her. No worries, we said; the grease and grime could be scraped off, and later, when we made it to Honolulu, the Snark could be painted while she was being rebuilt.

By main strength and sweat we dragged the Snark off from the wrecked ways and laid her alongside the Oakland City Wharf. The drays brought all the outfit from home, the books and blankets and personal luggage. Along with this, everything else came on board in a torrent of confusion—wood and coal, water and water-tanks, vegetables, provisions, oil, the life-boat and the launch, all our friends, all the friends of our friends and those who claimed to be their friends, to say nothing of some of the friends of the friends of the friends of our crew. Also there were reporters, and photographers, and strangers, and cranks, and finally, and over all, clouds of coal-dust from the wharf.

By sheer effort and sweat, we pulled the Snark off the damaged ways and parked her next to the Oakland City Wharf. Trucks brought all our gear from home: books, blankets, and personal bags. In addition, everything else came onboard in a rush of chaos—wood and coal, water and water tanks, vegetables, supplies, oil, the lifeboat and the launch, all our friends, all the friends of our friends, and those who claimed to be their friends, not to mention some of the friends of our friends' friends. Plus, there were reporters, photographers, strangers, and oddballs, and lastly, clouds of coal dust from the wharf hung over everything.

We were to sail Sunday at eleven, and Saturday afternoon had arrived. The crowd on the wharf and the coal-dust were thicker than ever. In one pocket I carried a cheque-book, a fountain-pen, a dater, and a blotter; in another pocket I carried between one and two thousand dollars in paper money and gold. I was ready for the creditors, cash for the small ones and cheques for the large ones, and was waiting only for Roscoe to arrive with the balances of the accounts of the hundred and fifteen firms who had delayed me so many months. And then—

We were set to leave on Sunday at eleven, and Saturday afternoon had come. The crowd at the dock and the coal dust were thicker than ever. In one pocket, I had a checkbook, a fountain pen, a dater, and a blotter; in another pocket, I had between one and two thousand dollars in cash and gold. I was prepared for the creditors, cash for the smaller amounts and checks for the larger ones, just waiting for Roscoe to arrive with the remaining balances from the one hundred and fifteen companies that had held me up for so many months. And then—

And then the inconceivable and monstrous happened once more. Before Roscoe could arrive there arrived another man. He was a United States marshal. He tacked a notice on the Snark’s brave mast so that all on the wharf could read that the Snark had been libelled for debt. The marshal left a little old man in charge of the Snark, and himself went away. I had no longer any control of the Snark, nor of her wonderful bow. The little old man was now her lord and master, and I learned that I was paying him three dollars a day for being lord and master. Also, I learned the name of the man who had libelled the Snark. It was Sellers; the debt was two hundred and thirty-two dollars; and the deed was no more than was to be expected from the possessor of such a name. Sellers! Ye gods! Sellers!

And then the unimaginable and crazy thing happened again. Before Roscoe could get there, another man showed up. He was a U.S. marshal. He put up a notice on the Snark’s brave mast so that everyone at the wharf could see that the Snark had been seized for debt. The marshal left a little old man in charge of the Snark and then walked away. I no longer had any control over the Snark, or her amazing bow. The little old man was now in charge, and I found out that I was paying him three dollars a day to be in charge. I also learned the name of the person who had seized the Snark. It was Sellers; the debt was two hundred and thirty-two dollars; and the action was exactly what I would expect from someone with a name like that. Sellers! Oh my god! Sellers!

But who under the sun was Sellers? I looked in my cheque-book and saw that two weeks before I had made him out a cheque for five hundred dollars. Other cheque-books showed me that during the many months of the building of the Snark I had paid him several thousand dollars. Then why in the name of common decency hadn’t he tried to collect his miserable little balance instead of libelling the Snark? I thrust my hands into my pockets, and in one pocket encountered the cheque-hook and the dater and the pen, and in the other pocket the gold money and the paper money. There was the wherewithal to settle his pitiful account a few score of times and over—why hadn’t he given me a chance? There was no explanation; it was merely the inconceivable and monstrous.

But who the heck was Sellers? I checked my checkbook and saw that two weeks earlier, I had written him a check for five hundred dollars. Other checkbooks revealed that during the many months spent building the Snark, I had paid him several thousand dollars. So why, for the sake of common decency, hadn’t he tried to collect his measly balance instead of trashing the Snark? I shoved my hands into my pockets, and in one pocket, I found the checkbook, the dater, and the pen, while in the other pocket, I had cash—both gold and paper. I had more than enough to settle his pitiful account multiple times over—so why hadn’t he given me a chance? There was no explanation; it was just unbelievable and outrageous.

To make the matter worse, the Snark had been libelled late Saturday afternoon; and though I sent lawyers and agents all over Oakland and San Francisco, neither United States judge, nor United States marshal, nor Mr. Sellers, nor Mr. Sellers’ attorney, nor anybody could be found. They were all out of town for the weekend. And so the Snark did not sail Sunday morning at eleven. The little old man was still in charge, and he said no. And Charmian and I walked out on an opposite wharf and took consolation in the Snark’s wonderful bow and thought of all the gales and typhoons it would proudly punch.

To make matters worse, the Snark had been seized late Saturday afternoon; and even though I sent lawyers and agents all over Oakland and San Francisco, we couldn't find any United States judge, United States marshal, Mr. Sellers, Mr. Sellers’ lawyer, or anyone else. They were all out of town for the weekend. So the Snark didn’t set sail Sunday morning at eleven. The little old man was still in charge, and he said no. Charmian and I walked out to an opposite wharf and took comfort in the Snark’s impressive bow, imagining all the gales and typhoons it would bravely face.

“A bourgeois trick,” I said to Charmian, speaking of Mr. Sellers and his libel; “a petty trader’s panic. But never mind; our troubles will cease when once we are away from this and out on the wide ocean.”

“A middle-class trick,” I said to Charmian, referring to Mr. Sellers and his libel; “a minor merchant’s panic. But don’t worry; our troubles will end once we leave this behind and are out on the open ocean.”

And in the end we sailed away, on Tuesday morning, April 23, 1907. We started rather lame, I confess. We had to hoist anchor by hand, because the power transmission was a wreck. Also, what remained of our seventy-horse-power engine was lashed down for ballast on the bottom of the Snark. But what of such things? They could be fixed in Honolulu, and in the meantime think of the magnificent rest of the boat! It is true, the engine in the launch wouldn’t run, and the life-boat leaked like a sieve; but then they weren’t the Snark; they were mere appurtenances. The things that counted were the water-tight bulkheads, the solid planking without butts, the bath-room devices—they were the Snark. And then there was, greatest of all, that noble, wind-punching bow.

And in the end, we set sail on Tuesday morning, April 23, 1907. I have to admit, we got off to a bit of a slow start. We had to hoist the anchor by hand because the power transmission was a mess. Plus, what was left of our seventy-horsepower engine was tied down for ballast at the bottom of the Snark. But who cares about that? We could fix it in Honolulu, and in the meantime, think of the amazing rest of the boat! It's true, the engine in the launch wouldn't run, and the lifeboat leaked like a sieve; but those weren’t the Snark; they were just extras. What really mattered were the watertight bulkheads, the sturdy planking without seams, the bathroom fixtures—they were the Snark. And then there was, above all, that glorious, wind-cutting bow.

We sailed out through the Golden Gate and set our course south toward that part of the Pacific where we could hope to pick up with the north-east trades. And right away things began to happen. I had calculated that youth was the stuff for a voyage like that of the Snark, and I had taken three youths—the engineer, the cook, and the cabin-boy. My calculation was only two-thirds off; I had forgotten to calculate on seasick youth, and I had two of them, the cook and the cabin boy. They immediately took to their bunks, and that was the end of their usefulness for a week to come. It will be understood, from the foregoing, that we did not have the hot meals we might have had, nor were things kept clean and orderly down below. But it did not matter very much anyway, for we quickly discovered that our box of oranges had at some time been frozen; that our box of apples was mushy and spoiling; that the crate of cabbages, spoiled before it was ever delivered to us, had to go overboard instanter; that kerosene had been spilled on the carrots, and that the turnips were woody and the beets rotten, while the kindling was dead wood that wouldn’t burn, and the coal, delivered in rotten potato-sacks, had spilled all over the deck and was washing through the scuppers.

We sailed out through the Golden Gate and headed south toward the part of the Pacific where we hoped to catch the northeast trade winds. And right away, things started to go wrong. I figured that youth was ideal for a voyage like that of the Snark, so I brought along three young guys—the engineer, the cook, and the cabin boy. My calculations were only two-thirds right; I forgot to account for seasick youth, and two of them—the cook and the cabin boy—got sick. They immediately went to their bunks, which meant they weren’t any help for the next week. So, from this, it’s clear that we didn’t have the hot meals we could have had, nor was anything kept clean and orderly below deck. But it didn’t really matter, because we soon found out that our box of oranges had been frozen at some point; our box of apples was mushy and going bad; the crate of cabbages, which was spoiled before we even got it, had to be thrown overboard immediately; kerosene had spilled on the carrots, the turnips were tough, and the beets were rotten, while the kindling was dead wood that wouldn’t burn, and the coal, delivered in decayed potato sacks, had spilled all over the deck and was washing through the scuppers.

But what did it matter? Such things were mere accessories. There was the boat—she was all right, wasn’t she? I strolled along the deck and in one minute counted fourteen butts in the beautiful planking ordered specially from Puget Sound in order that there should be no butts in it. Also, that deck leaked, and it leaked badly. It drowned Roscoe out of his bunk and ruined the tools in the engine-room, to say nothing of the provisions it ruined in the galley. Also, the sides of the Snark leaked, and the bottom leaked, and we had to pump her every day to keep her afloat. The floor of the galley is a couple of feet above the inside bottom of the Snark; and yet I have stood on the floor of the galley, trying to snatch a cold bite, and been wet to the knees by the water churning around inside four hours after the last pumping.

But what did it really matter? Those things were just minor details. There was the boat—she was fine, right? I walked along the deck and in one minute I counted fourteen cigarette butts in the beautiful wooden planks that were specially ordered from Puget Sound to avoid any butts. Plus, that deck leaked, and it leaked badly. It soaked Roscoe out of his bunk and wrecked the tools in the engine room, not to mention the provisions it spoiled in the galley. Also, the sides of the Snark leaked, and the bottom leaked, and we had to pump her out every day to keep her afloat. The floor of the galley is a couple of feet above the inside bottom of the Snark; and yet I've stood on the galley floor, trying to grab a quick bite, and gotten wet to the knees from the water swirling around inside just four hours after the last pumping.

Then those magnificent water-tight compartments that cost so much time and money—well, they weren’t water-tight after all. The water moved free as the air from one compartment to another; furthermore, a strong smell of gasolene from the after compartment leads me to suspect that some one or more of the half-dozen tanks there stored have sprung a leak. The tanks leak, and they are not hermetically sealed in their compartment. Then there was the bath-room with its pumps and levers and sea-valves—it went out of commission inside the first twenty hours. Powerful iron levers broke off short in one’s hand when one tried to pump with them. The bath-room was the swiftest wreck of any portion of the Snark.

Then those amazing watertight compartments that took so much time and money—well, they weren’t actually watertight after all. The water flowed freely from one compartment to another; plus, a strong smell of gasoline from the back compartment makes me suspect that one or more of the six tanks stored there have developed a leak. The tanks are leaking, and they aren’t sealed tightly within their compartment. Then there was the bathroom with its pumps and levers and sea valves—it went out of service within the first twenty hours. Strong iron levers broke off in your hand when you tried to pump them. The bathroom was the fastest part of the Snark to break down.

And the iron-work on the Snark, no matter what its source, proved to be mush. For instance, the bed-plate of the engine came from New York, and it was mush; so were the casting and gears for the windlass that came from San Francisco. And finally, there was the wrought iron used in the rigging, that carried away in all directions when the first strains were put upon it. Wrought iron, mind you, and it snapped like macaroni.

And the metalwork on the Snark, regardless of where it came from, turned out to be garbage. For example, the engine's bedplate came from New York, and it was useless; the casting and gears for the windlass from San Francisco were no better. Finally, the wrought iron used in the rigging broke apart in every direction as soon as it was put under strain. Wrought iron, just so you know, and it snapped like pasta.

A gooseneck on the gaff of the mainsail broke short off. We replaced it with the gooseneck from the gaff of the storm trysail, and the second gooseneck broke short off inside fifteen minutes of use, and, mind you, it had been taken from the gaff of the storm trysail, upon which we would have depended in time of storm. At the present moment the Snark trails her mainsail like a broken wing, the gooseneck being replaced by a rough lashing. We’ll see if we can get honest iron in Honolulu.

A gooseneck on the gaff of the mainsail broke off completely. We replaced it with the gooseneck from the gaff of the storm trysail, but the second gooseneck broke off in less than fifteen minutes of use, and just so you know, it had come from the gaff of the storm trysail, which we would have relied on during a storm. Right now, the Snark is trailing her mainsail like a broken wing, with the gooseneck replaced by a rough lashing. We’ll see if we can find some decent iron in Honolulu.

Man had betrayed us and sent us to sea in a sieve, but the Lord must have loved us, for we had calm weather in which to learn that we must pump every day in order to keep afloat, and that more trust could be placed in a wooden toothpick than in the most massive piece of iron to be found aboard. As the staunchness and the strength of the Snark went glimmering, Charmian and I pinned our faith more and more to the Snark’s wonderful bow. There was nothing else left to pin to. It was all inconceivable and monstrous, we knew, but that bow, at least, was rational. And then, one evening, we started to heave to.

Man had betrayed us and sent us out to sea in a sieve, but the Lord must have loved us, because we had calm weather to figure out that we had to pump every day to stay afloat, and that you could trust a wooden toothpick more than the biggest piece of iron on board. As the resilience and strength of the Snark faded away, Charmian and I increasingly put our faith in the Snark’s amazing bow. There was nothing else left to rely on. It was all unimaginable and bizarre, we knew, but at least that bow made sense. Then, one evening, we started to slow down.

How shall I describe it? First of all, for the benefit of the tyro, let me explain that heaving to is that sea manœuvre which, by means of short and balanced canvas, compels a vessel to ride bow-on to wind and sea. When the wind is too strong, or the sea is too high, a vessel of the size of the Snark can heave to with ease, whereupon there is no more work to do on deck. Nobody needs to steer. The lookout is superfluous. All hands can go below and sleep or play whist.

How do I explain this? First, for those new to sailing, let me clarify that heaving to is a maneuver that uses a small amount of sail to position a boat so it faces directly into the wind and waves. When the wind is too strong or the waves are too high, a vessel like the Snark can easily heave to, which means there’s no more work to do on deck. No one needs to steer. There's no need for a lookout. Everyone can go below deck and either sleep or play cards.

Well, it was blowing half of a small summer gale, when I told Roscoe we’d heave to. Night was coming on. I had been steering nearly all day, and all hands on deck (Roscoe and Bert and Charmian) were tired, while all hands below were seasick. It happened that we had already put two reefs in the big mainsail. The flying-jib and the jib were taken in, and a reef put in the fore-staysail. The mizzen was also taken in. About this time the flying jib-boom buried itself in a sea and broke short off. I started to put the wheel down in order to heave to. The Snark at the moment was rolling in the trough. She continued rolling in the trough. I put the spokes down harder and harder. She never budged from the trough. (The trough, gentle reader, is the most dangerous position all in which to lay a vessel.) I put the wheel hard down, and still the Snark rolled in the trough. Eight points was the nearest I could get her to the wind. I had Roscoe and Bert come in on the main-sheet. The Snark rolled on in the trough, now putting her rail under on one side and now under on the other side.

Well, there was a strong summer wind when I told Roscoe we’d slow down. Night was approaching. I had been steering almost all day, and everyone on deck (Roscoe, Bert, and Charmian) was tired, while those below were feeling seasick. We had already put two reefs in the big mainsail. The flying jib and the jib were brought in, and we added a reef to the fore-staysail. The mizzen was also taken in. Around this time, the flying jib-boom got stuck in a wave and broke off. I began to turn the wheel to slow down. The Snark was rolling in the trough at that moment. It kept rolling in the trough. I turned the spokes harder and harder. It didn’t move from the trough. (The trough, dear reader, is the most dangerous position for a vessel to lie in.) I turned the wheel fully, and still the Snark rolled in the trough. The closest I could get her to the wind was eight points. I had Roscoe and Bert come in on the main sheet. The Snark continued to roll in the trough, now putting her rail under on one side and then the other.

Again the inconceivable and monstrous was showing its grizzly head. It was grotesque, impossible. I refused to believe it. Under double-reefed mainsail and single-reefed staysail the Snark refused to heave to. We flattened the mainsail down. It did not alter the Snark’s course a tenth of a degree. We slacked the mainsail off with no more result. We set a storm trysail on the mizzen, and took in the mainsail. No change. The Snark roiled on in the trough. That beautiful bow of hers refused to come up and face the wind.

Again, the unimaginable and monstrous was rearing its ugly head. It was bizarre, impossible. I wouldn’t accept it. With the double-reefed mainsail and single-reefed staysail, the Snark wouldn’t come around. We flattened the mainsail down. It didn’t change the Snark’s course by even a tenth of a degree. We eased the mainsail off with no different result. We set a storm trysail on the mizzen and took in the mainsail. Still no change. The Snark churned on in the trough. That beautiful bow of hers refused to rise and face the wind.

Next we took in the reefed staysail. Thus, the only bit of canvas left on her was the storm trysail on the mizzen. If anything would bring her bow up to the wind, that would. Maybe you won’t believe me when I say it failed, but I do say it failed. And I say it failed because I saw it fail, and not because I believe it failed. I don’t believe it did fail. It is unbelievable, and I am not telling you what I believe; I am telling you what I saw.

Next, we took in the reefed staysail. So, the only piece of canvas left on her was the storm trysail on the mizzen. If anything could have brought her bow up to the wind, that would have been it. You might not believe me when I say it didn't work, but I insist it didn’t. And I insist it didn’t because I witnessed it happen, not because I think it didn’t. I don’t think it failed. It’s unbelievable, and I’m not telling you what I think; I’m telling you what I saw.

Now, gentle reader, what would you do if you were on a small boat, rolling in the trough of the sea, a trysail on that small boat’s stern that was unable to swing the bow up into the wind? Get out the sea-anchor. It’s just what we did. We had a patent one, made to order and warranted not to dive. Imagine a hoop of steel that serves to keep open the mouth of a large, conical, canvas bag, and you have a sea-anchor. Well, we made a line fast to the sea-anchor and to the bow of the Snark, and then dropped the sea-anchor overboard. It promptly dived. We had a tripping line on it, so we tripped the sea-anchor and hauled it in. We attached a big timber as a float, and dropped the sea-anchor over again. This time it floated. The line to the bow grew taut. The trysail on the mizzen tended to swing the bow into the wind, but, in spite of this tendency, the Snark calmly took that sea-anchor in her teeth, and went on ahead, dragging it after her, still in the trough of the sea. And there you are. We even took in the trysail, hoisted the full mizzen in its place, and hauled the full mizzen down flat, and the Snark wallowed in the trough and dragged the sea-anchor behind her. Don’t believe me. I don’t believe it myself. I am merely telling you what I saw.

Now, dear reader, what would you do if you were on a small boat, swaying in the waves, with a trysail at the back that couldn't lift the bow into the wind? You'd get a sea-anchor. That’s exactly what we did. We had a special one, custom-made and guaranteed not to dive. Picture a steel hoop that keeps open the mouth of a large, funnel-shaped canvas bag, and that’s a sea-anchor. Well, we secured a line from the sea-anchor to the bow of the Snark and then dropped the sea-anchor overboard. It immediately dived. We had a tripping line on it, so we tripped the sea-anchor and pulled it back in. We attached a big piece of timber as a float and dropped the sea-anchor again. This time it stayed on the surface. The line to the bow tightened. The trysail on the mizzen tried to swing the bow into the wind, but despite this, the Snark calmly took the sea-anchor in her hold and moved forward, dragging it along in the waves. And there you go. We even took in the trysail, raised the full mizzen in its place, and brought the full mizzen down flat, while the Snark swayed in the trough and dragged the sea-anchor behind her. Don’t believe me? I don’t believe it myself. I’m just sharing what I saw.

Now I leave it to you. Who ever heard of a sailing-boat that wouldn’t heave to?—that wouldn’t heave to with a sea-anchor to help it? Out of my brief experience with boats I know I never did. And I stood on deck and looked on the naked face of the inconceivable and monstrous—the Snark that wouldn’t heave to. A stormy night with broken moonlight had come on. There was a splash of wet in the air, and up to windward there was a promise of rain-squalls; and then there was the trough of the sea, cold and cruel in the moonlight, in which the Snark complacently rolled. And then we took in the sea-anchor and the mizzen, hoisted the reefed staysail, ran the Snark off before it, and went below—not to the hot meal that should have awaited us, but to skate across the slush and slime on the cabin floor, where cook and cabin-boy lay like dead men in their bunks, and to lie down in our own bunks, with our clothes on ready for a call, and to listen to the bilge-water spouting knee-high on the galley floor.

Now I leave it to you. Who ever heard of a sailing boat that wouldn’t heave to?—that wouldn’t heave to with a sea anchor to help it? From my limited experience with boats, I know I never did. And I stood on deck and stared at the raw face of the unimaginable and monstrous—the Snark that wouldn’t heave to. A stormy night with broken moonlight had set in. There was a splash of moisture in the air, and upwind there was a promise of rain squalls; then there was the trough of the sea, cold and cruel in the moonlight, where the Snark complacently rolled. We took in the sea anchor and the mizzen, hoisted the reefed staysail, ran the Snark off before it, and went below—not to the hot meal that should have been waiting for us, but to skate across the slush and slime on the cabin floor, where the cook and cabin boy lay like dead men in their bunks, and to lie down in our own bunks, with our clothes on and ready for a call, listening to the bilge water gushing knee-high on the galley floor.

In the Bohemian Club of San Francisco there are some crack sailors. I know, because I heard them pass judgment on the Snark during the process of her building. They found only one vital thing the matter with her, and on this they were all agreed, namely, that she could not run. She was all right in every particular, they said, except that I’d never be able to run her before it in a stiff wind and sea. “Her lines,” they explained enigmatically, “it is the fault of her lines. She simply cannot be made to run, that is all.” Well, I wish I’d only had those crack sailors of the Bohemian Club on board the Snark the other night for them to see for themselves their one, vital, unanimous judgment absolutely reversed. Run? It is the one thing the Snark does to perfection. Run? She ran with a sea-anchor fast for’ard and a full mizzen flattened down aft. Run? At the present moment, as I write this, we are bowling along before it, at a six-knot clip, in the north-east trades. Quite a tidy bit of sea is running. There is nobody at the wheel, the wheel is not even lashed and is set over a half-spoke weather helm. To be precise, the wind is north-east; the Snark’s mizzen is furled, her mainsail is over to starboard, her head-sheets are hauled flat: and the Snark’s course is south-south-west. And yet there are men who have sailed the seas for forty years and who hold that no boat can run before it without being steered. They’ll call me a liar when they read this; it’s what they called Captain Slocum when he said the same of his Spray.

In the Bohemian Club of San Francisco, there are some top-notch sailors. I know this because I heard them critique the Snark during its construction. They all agreed on one crucial problem: she couldn't run. They said everything else was fine, except that I’d never be able to sail her in a stiff wind and rough sea. "Her lines," they explained mysteriously, "are the issue. She just can't be made to run, that's all." Well, I wish those skilled sailors from the Bohemian Club had been aboard the Snark the other night to see their one, crucial, unanimous judgement completely overturned. Run? It's the one thing the Snark does perfectly. Run? She ran with a sea-anchor fastened up front and a fully flattened mizzen sail in the back. Run? Right now, as I write this, we are cruising along at six knots in the northeast trade winds. There’s quite a bit of sea rolling. No one is at the wheel, the wheel isn't even tied down, and it's set to a half-spoke weather helm. To be specific, the wind is coming from the northeast; the Snark's mizzen is furled, her mainsail is out to starboard, and her head-sheets are pulled tight: the Snark's course is south-southwest. Yet, there are sailors who have been at sea for forty years who insist no boat can run before it without being steered. They'll call me a liar when they read this; that's what they called Captain Slocum when he said the same about his Spray.

As regards the future of the Snark I’m all at sea. I don’t know. If I had the money or the credit, I’d build another Snark that would heave to. But I am at the end of my resources. I’ve got to put up with the present Snark or quit—and I can’t quit. So I guess I’ll have to try to get along with heaving the Snark to stern first. I am waiting for the next gale to see how it will work. I think it can be done. It all depends on how her stern takes the seas. And who knows but that some wild morning on the China Sea, some gray-beard skipper will stare, rub his incredulous eyes and stare again, at the spectacle of a weird, small craft very much like the Snark, hove to stern-first and riding out the gale?

As for the future of the Snark, I'm totally lost. I have no idea. If I had the money or credit, I’d build another Snark that would hold steady. But I'm out of options. I have to deal with the current Snark or give up—and I can’t give up. So I guess I’ll have to figure out how to manage with the Snark facing backward. I'm waiting for the next storm to see how it goes. I think it’s possible. It all depends on how her back handles the waves. And who knows, maybe one wild morning in the China Sea, some seasoned captain will stare, rub his eyes in disbelief, and stare again at the sight of a strange little boat that looks just like the Snark, riding out the storm backwards?

P.S. On my return to California after the voyage, I learned that the Snark was forty-three feet on the water-line instead of forty-five. This was due to the fact that the builder was not on speaking terms with the tape-line or two-foot rule.

P.S. When I got back to California after the trip, I found out that the Snark was actually forty-three feet long at the waterline instead of forty-five. This was because the builder had some issues with measuring accurately using a tape measure or a two-foot ruler.

CHAPTER III
Adventure

No, adventure is not dead, and in spite of the steam engine and of Thomas Cook & Son. When the announcement of the contemplated voyage of the Snark was made, young men of “roving disposition” proved to be legion, and young women as well—to say nothing of the elderly men and women who volunteered for the voyage. Why, among my personal friends there were at least half a dozen who regretted their recent or imminent marriages; and there was one marriage I know of that almost failed to come off because of the Snark.

No, adventure isn’t dead, even with the steam engine and Thomas Cook & Son around. When the news about the planned voyage of the Snark was announced, young men with a “roaming spirit” were everywhere, along with young women too—and let’s not forget the older men and women who signed up for the trip. Honestly, among my friends, there were at least half a dozen who wished they hadn’t just gotten married or were about to marry; and there was one marriage I know of that nearly fell apart because of the Snark.

 

Every mail to me was burdened with the letters of applicants who were suffocating in the “man-stifled towns,” and it soon dawned upon me that a twentieth century Ulysses required a corps of stenographers to clear his correspondence before setting sail. No, adventure is certainly not dead—not while one receives letters that begin:

Every email I got was filled with messages from people struggling in the “man-stifled towns,” and it quickly became clear to me that a twenty-first century Ulysses needs a team of assistants to handle his correspondence before embarking on a journey. No, adventure is definitely not dead—not while one receives letters that begin:

“There is no doubt that when you read this soul-plea from a female stranger in New York City,” etc.; and wherein one learns, a little farther on, that this female stranger weighs only ninety pounds, wants to be cabin-boy, and “yearns to see the countries of the world.”

“There’s no doubt that when you read this heartfelt request from a female stranger in New York City,” etc.; and where you find out a bit later that this female stranger weighs only ninety pounds, wants to be a cabin boy, and “longs to see the countries of the world.”

The possession of a “passionate fondness for geography,” was the way one applicant expressed the wander-lust that was in him; while another wrote, “I am cursed with an eternal yearning to be always on the move, consequently this letter to you.” But best of all was the fellow who said he wanted to come because his feet itched.

The phrase "a deep love for geography" was how one applicant described his desire to travel; another wrote, "I can’t shake this constant need to be on the go, hence this letter to you." But the best response came from the guy who said he wanted to join because his feet were itching.

There were a few who wrote anonymously, suggesting names of friends and giving said friends’ qualifications; but to me there was a hint of something sinister in such proceedings, and I went no further in the matter.

There were a few who wrote anonymously, suggesting names of friends and listing their qualifications; but to me, there was a hint of something shady in that, and I didn’t pursue it any further.

With two or three exceptions, all the hundreds that volunteered for my crew were very much in earnest. Many of them sent their photographs. Ninety per cent. offered to work in any capacity, and ninety-nine per cent. offered to work without salary. “Contemplating your voyage on the Snark,” said one, “and notwithstanding its attendant dangers, to accompany you (in any capacity whatever) would be the climax of my ambitions.” Which reminds me of the young fellow who was “seventeen years old and ambicious,” and who, at the end of his letter, earnestly requested “but please do not let this git into the papers or magazines.” Quite different was the one who said, “I would be willing to work like hell and not demand pay.” Almost all of them wanted me to telegraph, at their expense, my acceptance of their services; and quite a number offered to put up a bond to guarantee their appearance on sailing date.

With two or three exceptions, all the hundreds who volunteered for my crew were genuinely serious. Many of them sent their photos. Ninety percent offered to work in any position, and ninety-nine percent were willing to work for free. “Thinking about your journey on the Snark,” one person said, “and despite the risks involved, joining you (in any role) would be the peak of my dreams.” This reminds me of the young guy who was “seventeen years old and ambitious,” and who, at the end of his letter, earnestly asked, “but please don’t let this get into the news or magazines.” Very different was the one who said, “I would be willing to work really hard without expecting payment.” Almost all of them wanted me to send a telegram, at their own expense, confirming my acceptance of their help; and quite a few offered to back it up with a bond to ensure they would show up on the sailing date.

Some were rather vague in their own minds concerning the work to be done on the Snark; as, for instance, the one who wrote: “I am taking the liberty of writing you this note to find out if there would be any possibility of my going with you as one of the crew of your boat to make sketches and illustrations.” Several, unaware of the needful work on a small craft like the Snark, offered to serve, as one of them phrased it, “as assistant in filing materials collected for books and novels.” That’s what one gets for being prolific.

Some people were a bit unclear in their own minds about the work that needed to be done on the Snark; for example, one person wrote: “I’m taking the liberty of sending you this note to see if there’s any chance I could join your crew to create sketches and illustrations.” Several others, not realizing the specific tasks required for a small boat like the Snark, offered to help, as one put it, “as an assistant in organizing materials collected for books and novels.” That’s the downside of being so productive.

“Let me give my qualifications for the job,” wrote one. “I am an orphan living with my uncle, who is a hot revolutionary socialist and who says a man without the red blood of adventure is an animated dish-rag.” Said another: “I can swim some, though I don’t know any of the new strokes. But what is more important than strokes, the water is a friend of mine.” “If I was put alone in a sail-boat, I could get her anywhere I wanted to go,” was the qualification of a third—and a better qualification than the one that follows, “I have also watched the fish-boats unload.” But possibly the prize should go to this one, who very subtly conveys his deep knowledge of the world and life by saying: “My age, in years, is twenty-two.”

“Let me share my qualifications for the job,” wrote one. “I’m an orphan living with my uncle, who is a passionate revolutionary socialist and says a person without the adventurous spirit is just a lifeless rag.” Another said, “I can swim a bit, even though I don’t know any of the latest strokes. But more importantly, water is my friend.” “If I were put alone in a sailboat, I could get it anywhere I wanted to go,” claimed a third—an even better qualification than the one that followed: “I’ve also watched the fishing boats unload.” But maybe the prize should go to this one, who subtly reveals his deep understanding of the world and life by saying: “I am twenty-two years old.”

Then there were the simple straight-out, homely, and unadorned letters of young boys, lacking in the felicities of expression, it is true, but desiring greatly to make the voyage. These were the hardest of all to decline, and each time I declined one it seemed as if I had struck Youth a slap in the face. They were so earnest, these boys, they wanted so much to go. “I am sixteen but large for my age,” said one; and another, “Seventeen but large and healthy.” “I am as strong at least as the average boy of my size,” said an evident weakling. “Not afraid of any kind of work,” was what many said, while one in particular, to lure me no doubt by inexpensiveness, wrote: “I can pay my way to the Pacific coast, so that part would probably be acceptable to you.” “Going around the world is the one thing I want to do,” said one, and it seemed to be the one thing that a few hundred wanted to do. “I have no one who cares whether I go or not,” was the pathetic note sounded by another. One had sent his photograph, and speaking of it, said, “I’m a homely-looking sort of a chap, but looks don’t always count.” And I am confident that the lad who wrote the following would have turned out all right: “My age is 19 years, but I am rather small and consequently won’t take up much room, but I’m tough as the devil.” And there was one thirteen-year-old applicant that Charmian and I fell in love with, and it nearly broke our hearts to refuse him.

Then there were the simple, straightforward, down-to-earth letters from young boys. They lacked fancy expressions, it's true, but they really wanted to make the journey. These were the hardest to turn down, and every time I did, it felt like I was giving Youth a slap in the face. These boys were so earnest; they wanted this so badly. “I’m sixteen but tall for my age,” said one; and another added, “Seventeen but big and healthy.” “I’m at least as strong as the average boy my size,” claimed a clear weakling. “I’m not afraid of any kind of work,” many said, while one in particular, likely trying to appeal to me with his low costs, wrote: “I can pay my own way to the Pacific coast, so that part would probably work for you.” “Going around the world is the one thing I really want to do,” said another, and it seemed to be the one thing that a few hundred wanted to do. “I have no one who cares whether I go or not,” was the sad note struck by yet another. One had sent his photo and, mentioning it, said, “I’m not the best-looking guy, but looks don’t always matter.” And I’m sure that the kid who wrote this would have turned out just fine: “I’m 19 years old, but I’m kind of small, so I won’t take up much room, but I’m tough as nails.” And there was one thirteen-year-old applicant that Charmian and I fell in love with, and it nearly broke our hearts to turn him down.

But it must not be imagined that most of my volunteers were boys; on the contrary, boys constituted a very small proportion. There were men and women from every walk in life. Physicians, surgeons, and dentists offered in large numbers to come along, and, like all the professional men, offered to come without pay, to serve in any capacity, and to pay, even, for the privilege of so serving.

But it shouldn't be assumed that most of my volunteers were boys; actually, boys made up a very small portion. There were men and women from all walks of life. Physicians, surgeons, and dentists volunteered in large numbers, and like all the professionals, they offered to help without pay, serve in any capacity, and even pay for the chance to help out.

There was no end of compositors and reporters who wanted to come, to say nothing of experienced valets, chefs, and stewards. Civil engineers were keen on the voyage; “lady” companions galore cropped up for Charmian; while I was deluged with the applications of would-be private secretaries. Many high school and university students yearned for the voyage, and every trade in the working class developed a few applicants, the machinists, electricians, and engineers being especially strong on the trip. I was surprised at the number, who, in musty law offices, heard the call of adventure; and I was more than surprised by the number of elderly and retired sea captains who were still thralls to the sea. Several young fellows, with millions coming to them later on, were wild for the adventure, as were also several county superintendents of schools.

There was no shortage of editors and reporters who wanted to join, not to mention experienced butlers, chefs, and managers. Civil engineers were excited about the trip; there was no lack of "lady" companions for Charmian; and I was flooded with applications from people wanting to be my personal secretary. Many high school and college students were eager for the chance to go, and all kinds of working-class jobs had a few applicants, with machinists, electricians, and engineers particularly interested in the journey. I was taken aback by the number of people who, stuck in dusty law offices, heard the call of adventure; I was even more surprised by the amount of older and retired sea captains who were still drawn to the ocean. Several young guys, with millions expected to come their way later, were eager for the adventure, just like a few county school superintendents.

Fathers and sons wanted to come, and many men with their wives, to say nothing of the young woman stenographer who wrote: “Write immediately if you need me. I shall bring my typewriter on the first train.” But the best of all is the following—observe the delicate way in which he worked in his wife: “I thought I would drop you a line of inquiry as to the possibility of making the trip with you, am 24 years of age, married and broke, and a trip of that kind would be just what we are looking for.”

Fathers and sons wanted to come, and many men with their wives, not to mention the young woman stenographer who wrote: “Let me know right away if you need me. I’ll bring my typewriter on the first train.” But the best part is how he subtly included his wife: “I thought I’d check in to see if it might be possible to make the trip with you. I’m 24 years old, married, and broke, and a trip like that would be exactly what we’re looking for.”

Come to think of it, for the average man it must be fairly difficult to write an honest letter of self-recommendation. One of my correspondents was so stumped that he began his letter with the words, “This is a hard task”; and, after vainly trying to describe his good points, he wound up with, “It is a hard job writing about one’s self.” Nevertheless, there was one who gave himself a most glowing and lengthy character, and in conclusion stated that he had greatly enjoyed writing it.

Come to think of it, for the average person, it must be pretty tough to write an honest self-recommendation letter. One of my correspondents was so confused that he started his letter with, “This is a hard task”; and after struggling to highlight his strengths, he ended with, “It is a hard job writing about oneself.” However, there was one person who wrote a very glowing and lengthy description of himself, and in the end, he mentioned that he really enjoyed writing it.

“But suppose this: your cabin-boy could run your engine, could repair it when out of order. Suppose he could take his turn at the wheel, could do any carpenter or machinist work. Suppose he is strong, healthy, and willing to work. Would you not rather have him than a kid that gets seasick and can’t do anything but wash dishes?” It was letters of this sort that I hated to decline. The writer of it, self-taught in English, had been only two years in the United States, and, as he said, “I am not wishing to go with you to earn my living, but I wish to learn and see.” At the time of writing to me he was a designer for one of the big motor manufacturing companies; he had been to sea quite a bit, and had been used all his life to the handling of small boats.

“But consider this: your cabin-boy could operate your engine, fix it when it breaks down. He could take his turn at the wheel and handle any carpentry or machine work. Imagine he’s strong, healthy, and eager to work. Wouldn’t you prefer him over a kid who gets seasick and can only wash dishes?” It was letters like this that I hated to turn down. The author, who had taught himself English, had only been in the United States for two years, and as he stated, “I’m not looking to go with you just to earn a living, but I want to learn and see.” When he wrote to me, he was a designer for one of the major motor manufacturing companies; he had spent considerable time at sea and had been accustomed to handling small boats his entire life.

“I have a good position, but it matters not so with me as I prefer travelling,” wrote another. “As to salary, look at me, and if I am worth a dollar or two, all right, and if I am not, nothing said. As to my honesty and character, I shall be pleased to show you my employers. Never drink, no tobacco, but to be honest, I myself, after a little more experience, want to do a little writing.”

“I have a decent job, but that doesn’t matter to me as much because I prefer traveling,” wrote another. “As for my salary, take a look at me; if I’m worth a dollar or two, great, and if not, no big deal. Regarding my honesty and character, I’d be happy to introduce you to my employers. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, but to be honest, after gaining a bit more experience, I want to try my hand at writing.”

“I can assure you that I am eminently respectable, but find other respectable people tiresome.” The man who wrote the foregoing certainly had me guessing, and I am still wondering whether or not he’d have found me tiresome, or what the deuce he did mean.

“I can assure you that I’m very respectable, but I find other respectable people boring.” The man who wrote that really had me puzzled, and I’m still wondering if he would have found me boring, or what the heck he actually meant.

“I have seen better days than what I am passing through to-day,” wrote an old salt, “but I have seen them a great deal worse also.”

“I've had better days than what I'm going through today,” wrote an old sailor, “but I've also experienced a lot worse.”

But the willingness to sacrifice on the part of the man who wrote the following was so touching that I could not accept: “I have a father, a mother, brothers and sisters, dear friends and a lucrative position, and yet I will sacrifice all to become one of your crew.”

But the willingness to sacrifice shown by the man who wrote the following was so moving that I couldn’t accept: “I have a father, a mother, brothers and sisters, dear friends, and a good job, yet I will give it all up to join your crew.”

Another volunteer I could never have accepted was the finicky young fellow who, to show me how necessary it was that I should give him a chance, pointed out that “to go in the ordinary boat, be it schooner or steamer, would be impracticable, for I would have to mix among and live with the ordinary type of seamen, which as a rule is not a clean sort of life.”

Another volunteer I could never have accepted was the fussy young guy who, to prove how important it was for me to give him a chance, pointed out that “taking the regular boat, whether a schooner or a steamer, would be unfeasible, because I would have to interact with and live among the typical seamen, which usually isn’t a clean kind of life.”

Then there was the young fellow of twenty-six, who had “run through the gamut of human emotions,” and had “done everything from cooking to attending Stanford University,” and who, at the present writing, was “A vaquero on a fifty-five-thousand-acre range.” Quite in contrast was the modesty of the one who said, “I am not aware of possessing any particular qualities that would be likely to recommend me to your consideration. But should you be impressed, you might consider it worth a few minutes’ time to answer. Otherwise, there’s always work at the trade. Not expecting, but hoping, I remain, etc.”

Then there was the young guy who was twenty-six and had “experienced the full range of human emotions,” and had “done everything from cooking to studying at Stanford University,” and who, as of now, was “a cowboy on a fifty-five-thousand-acre ranch.” In stark contrast was the modesty of the one who said, “I don’t believe I have any special qualities that would make me stand out to you. But if you’re impressed, it might be worth your time to respond. Otherwise, there’s always work in my field. Not expecting a reply, but hoping, I remain, etc.”

But I have held my head in both my hands ever since, trying to figure out the intellectual kinship between myself and the one who wrote: “Long before I knew of you, I had mixed political economy and history and deducted therefrom many of your conclusions in concrete.”

But ever since then, I've been holding my head in both my hands, trying to understand the intellectual connection between myself and the one who wrote: “Long before I knew of you, I had combined political economy and history and derived many of your conclusions in concrete.”

Here, in its way, is one of the best, as it is the briefest, that I received: “If any of the present company signed on for cruise happens to get cold feet and you need one more who understands boating, engines, etc., would like to hear from you, etc.” Here is another brief one: “Point blank, would like to have the job of cabin-boy on your trip around the world, or any other job on board. Am nineteen years old, weigh one hundred and forty pounds, and am an American.”

Here, in its own way, is one of the best, since it’s the shortest, that I got: “If anyone in the current group signed up for the cruise gets nervous and you need one more person who knows about boating, engines, etc., I’d like to hear from you, etc.” Here’s another short one: “To be direct, I’d like to get the cabin-boy job on your trip around the world, or any other position on board. I’m nineteen years old, weigh one hundred and forty pounds, and I’m an American.”

And here is a good one from a man a “little over five feet long”: “When I read about your manly plan of sailing around the world in a small boat with Mrs. London, I was so much rejoiced that I felt I was planning it myself, and I thought to write you about filling either position of cook or cabin-boy myself, but for some reason I did not do it, and I came to Denver from Oakland to join my friend’s business last month, but everything is worse and unfavourable. But fortunately you have postponed your departure on account of the great earthquake, so I finally decided to propose you to let me fill either of the positions. I am not very strong, being a man of a little over five feet long, although I am of sound health and capability.”

And here's a good one from a guy who's “a little over five feet tall”: “When I read about your adventurous plan to sail around the world in a small boat with Mrs. London, I was so excited that I felt like I was planning it myself. I thought about reaching out to offer my help as either cook or cabin boy, but for some reason, I didn’t. Last month, I moved from Oakland to Denver to join my friend's business, but things are not going well at all. Luckily, you postponed your departure because of the big earthquake, so I finally decided to propose that I could take on either of those roles. I’m not very strong, being a guy who's just a little over five feet tall, but I’m healthy and capable.”

“I think I can add to your outfit an additional method of utilizing the power of the wind,” wrote a well-wisher, “which, while not interfering with ordinary sails in light breezes, will enable you to use the whole force of the wind in its mightiest blows, so that even when its force is so great that you may have to take in every inch of canvas used in the ordinary way, you may carry the fullest spread with my method. With my attachment your craft could not be UPSET.”

“I believe I can enhance your setup with a new way to harness the wind's power,” wrote a supporter, “which, while not disrupting standard sails in light winds, will allow you to take advantage of the full strength of the wind during its strongest gusts. This means that even when the wind is so powerful that you need to reef all the regular sails, you can still maximize your sail area with my method. With my attachment, your vessel could not be CAPSIZED.”

The foregoing letter was written in San Francisco under the date of April 16, 1906. And two days later, on April 18, came the Great Earthquake. And that’s why I’ve got it in for that earthquake, for it made a refugee out of the man who wrote the letter, and prevented us from ever getting together.

The previous letter was written in San Francisco on April 16, 1906. Just two days later, on April 18, the Great Earthquake struck. That’s why I have a grudge against that earthquake—it turned the person who wrote the letter into a refugee and kept us from ever meeting up.

Many of my brother socialists objected to my making the cruise, of which the following is typical: “The Socialist Cause and the millions of oppressed victims of Capitalism has a right and claim upon your life and services. If, however, you persist, then, when you swallow the last mouthful of salt chuck you can hold before sinking, remember that we at least protested.”

Many of my brother socialists were against my taking the cruise, and here's a typical response: “The Socialist Cause and the millions of oppressed victims of Capitalism have a right to your life and service. But if you choose to go ahead, then when you take your last bite of salty food before sinking, just remember that we at least raised our concerns.”

One wanderer over the world who “could, if opportunity afforded, recount many unusual scenes and events,” spent several pages ardently trying to get to the point of his letter, and at last achieved the following: “Still I am neglecting the point I set out to write you about. So will say at once that it has been stated in print that you and one or two others are going to take a cruize around the world a little fifty- or sixty-foot boat. I therefore cannot get myself to think that a man of your attainments and experience would attempt such a proceeding, which is nothing less than courting death in that way. And even if you were to escape for some time, your whole Person, and those with you would be bruised from the ceaseless motion of a craft of the above size, even if she were padded, a thing not usual at sea.” Thank you, kind friend, thank you for that qualification, “a thing not usual at sea.” Nor is this friend ignorant of the sea. As he says of himself, “I am not a land-lubber, and I have sailed every sea and ocean.” And he winds up his letter with: “Although not wishing to offend, it would be madness to take any woman outside the bay even, in such a craft.”

One traveler around the world who “could, if given the chance, share many unusual scenes and events,” spent several pages passionately trying to get to the point of his letter, and finally wrote: “Still, I have been avoiding the main point I wanted to tell you about. So, I’ll just say that it has been reported that you and one or two others are planning to take a cruise around the world on a little fifty- or sixty-foot boat. I just can’t believe that someone with your skills and experience would consider such a thing, as it’s nothing short of inviting danger in that way. And even if you managed to survive for a while, you and everyone with you would be injured from the constant movement of a boat that size, even if it were cushioned, which is not common at sea.” Thank you, dear friend, for that addition, “which is not common at sea.” And this friend is not unfamiliar with the ocean. As he mentions about himself, “I am not a landlubber, and I have sailed every sea and ocean.” He concludes his letter with: “Although I don’t want to offend, it would be crazy to take any woman outside the bay in such a boat.”

And yet, at the moment of writing this, Charmian is in her state-room at the typewriter, Martin is cooking dinner, Tochigi is setting the table, Roscoe and Bert are caulking the deck, and the Snark is steering herself some five knots an hour in a rattling good sea—and the Snark is not padded, either.

And yet, while I’m writing this, Charmian is in her cabin at the typewriter, Martin is making dinner, Tochigi is setting the table, Roscoe and Bert are sealing the deck, and the Snark is cruising along at about five knots in a pretty rough sea—and the Snark isn’t cushioned, either.

“Seeing a piece in the paper about your intended trip, would like to know if you would like a good crew, as there is six of us boys all good sailor men, with good discharges from the Navy and Merchant Service, all true Americans, all between the ages of 20 and 22, and at present are employed as riggers at the Union Iron Works, and would like very much to sail with you.”—It was letters like this that made me regret the boat was not larger.

“Seeing an article in the paper about your planned trip, I wanted to ask if you need a solid crew. There are six of us, all skilled sailors with honorable discharges from the Navy and the Merchant Service, all true Americans, aged between 20 and 22. We’re currently working as riggers at the Union Iron Works and would really love to sail with you.” — It was letters like this that made me wish the boat was bigger.

And here writes the one woman in all the world—outside of Charmian—for the cruise: “If you have not succeeded in getting a cook I would like very much to take the trip in that capacity. I am a woman of fifty, healthy and capable, and can do the work for the small company that compose the crew of the Snark. I am a very good cook and a very good sailor and something of a traveller, and the length of the voyage, if of ten years’ duration, would suit me better than one. References, etc.”

And here's a note from the only woman in the world—except for Charmian—applying for the cruise: “If you haven't found a cook yet, I would love to join the trip in that role. I'm a healthy and capable fifty-year-old woman, and I can handle the work for the small crew on the Snark. I'm a great cook, an experienced sailor, and a bit of a traveler, and I'd prefer a ten-year voyage over a shorter one. References available, etc.”

Some day, when I have made a lot of money, I’m going to build a big ship, with room in it for a thousand volunteers. They will have to do all the work of navigating that boat around the world, or they’ll stay at home. I believe that they’ll work the boat around the world, for I know that Adventure is not dead. I know Adventure is not dead because I have had a long and intimate correspondence with Adventure.

Some day, when I’ve made a lot of money, I’m going to build a big ship with space for a thousand volunteers. They’ll have to do all the navigating and work to get the boat around the world, or they can stay home. I believe they’ll manage to sail the boat around the world because I know Adventure isn't dead. I know Adventure isn't dead because I’ve had a long and close relationship with Adventure.

CHAPTER IV
Getting around

But,” our friends objected, “how dare you go to sea without a navigator on board? You’re not a navigator, are you?”

But,” our friends protested, “how can you possibly go to sea without a navigator on board? You’re not a navigator, are you?”

I had to confess that I was not a navigator, that I had never looked through a sextant in my life, and that I doubted if I could tell a sextant from a nautical almanac. And when they asked if Roscoe was a navigator, I shook my head. Roscoe resented this. He had glanced at the “Epitome,” bought for our voyage, knew how to use logarithm tables, had seen a sextant at some time, and, what of this and of his seafaring ancestry, he concluded that he did know navigation. But Roscoe was wrong, I still insist. When a young boy he came from Maine to California by way of the Isthmus of Panama, and that was the only time in his life that he was out of sight of land. He had never gone to a school of navigation, nor passed an examination in the same; nor had he sailed the deep sea and learned the art from some other navigator. He was a San Francisco Bay yachtsman, where land is always only several miles away and the art of navigation is never employed.

I had to admit that I wasn’t a navigator, that I had never looked through a sextant in my life, and that I wasn’t sure if I could tell a sextant from a nautical almanac. And when they asked if Roscoe was a navigator, I shook my head. Roscoe took offense at this. He had glanced at the “Epitome” we bought for our trip, knew how to use logarithm tables, had seen a sextant at some point, and, because of this and his seafaring background, he thought he knew navigation. But Roscoe was mistaken, I still contend. When he was a young boy, he traveled from Maine to California via the Isthmus of Panama, and that was the only time in his life that he was out of sight of land. He had never attended a navigation school, nor passed any navigation exams; nor had he sailed the open sea and learned the craft from another navigator. He was a yachtsman in San Francisco Bay, where land is always just a few miles away and navigation skills are rarely needed.

So the Snark started on her long voyage without a navigator. We beat through the Golden Gate on April 23, and headed for the Hawaiian Islands, twenty-one hundred sea-miles away as the gull flies. And the outcome was our justification. We arrived. And we arrived, furthermore, without any trouble, as you shall see; that is, without any trouble to amount to anything. To begin with, Roscoe tackled the navigating. He had the theory all right, but it was the first time he had ever applied it, as was evidenced by the erratic behaviour of the Snark. Not but what the Snark was perfectly steady on the sea; the pranks she cut were on the chart. On a day with a light breeze she would make a jump on the chart that advertised “a wet sail and a flowing sheet,” and on a day when she just raced over the ocean, she scarcely changed her position on the chart. Now when one’s boat has logged six knots for twenty-four consecutive hours, it is incontestable that she has covered one hundred and forty-four miles of ocean. The ocean was all right, and so was the patent log; as for speed, one saw it with his own eyes. Therefore the thing that was not all right was the figuring that refused to boost the Snark along over the chart. Not that this happened every day, but that it did happen. And it was perfectly proper and no more than was to be expected from a first attempt at applying a theory.

So the Snark set off on her long journey without a navigator. We sailed through the Golden Gate on April 23, aiming for the Hawaiian Islands, which were about 2,100 nautical miles away. And the outcome proved us right. We made it. And we made it, besides, without any significant issues, as you will see; that is, without any problems that truly mattered. To start, Roscoe took on the navigation. He knew the theory completely, but it was the first time he had actually put it into practice, which was clear from the Snark's erratic behavior. Not that the Snark wasn't steady on the water; the mischief was in the navigation chart. On a day with a light breeze, she would leap on the chart like it was indicating “a wet sail and a flowing sheet,” and on a day when she sped across the ocean, there was hardly any change in her position on the chart. Now, when a boat has logged six knots for twenty-four straight hours, it is undeniable that she has covered 144 miles of ocean. The ocean was fine, and so was the patent log; as for speed, one could see it with their own eyes. So, the only thing that wasn’t right was the calculations that failed to reflect the Snark’s progress on the chart. Not that this happened every day, but it did happen. And it was completely reasonable and no more than you would expect from a first attempt at using a new theory.

The acquisition of the knowledge of navigation has a strange effect on the minds of men. The average navigator speaks of navigation with deep respect. To the layman navigation is a deed and awful mystery, which feeling has been generated in him by the deep and awful respect for navigation that the layman has seen displayed by navigators. I have known frank, ingenuous, and modest young men, open as the day, to learn navigation and at once betray secretiveness, reserve, and self-importance as if they had achieved some tremendous intellectual attainment. The average navigator impresses the layman as a priest of some holy rite. With bated breath, the amateur yachtsman navigator invites one in to look at his chronometer. And so it was that our friends suffered such apprehension at our sailing without a navigator.

The knowledge of navigation has a strange effect on people. The typical navigator talks about navigation with a lot of respect. For the average person, navigation feels like a daunting mystery, a feeling shaped by the deep awe navigators show towards their craft. I've encountered open, sincere, and humble young men who, once they start learning navigation, suddenly become secretive and self-important, as if they've accomplished something incredible. The average navigator comes across like a priest performing a sacred ritual. With held breath, the novice yachtsman invites someone to check out his chronometer. That's why our friends were so anxious about us sailing without a navigator.

During the building of the Snark, Roscoe and I had an agreement, something like this: “I’ll furnish the books and instruments,” I said, “and do you study up navigation now. I’ll be too busy to do any studying. Then, when we get to sea, you can teach me what you have learned.” Roscoe was delighted. Furthermore, Roscoe was as frank and ingenuous and modest as the young men I have described. But when we got out to sea and he began to practise the holy rite, while I looked on admiringly, a change, subtle and distinctive, marked his bearing. When he shot the sun at noon, the glow of achievement wrapped him in lambent flame. When he went below, figured out his observation, and then returned on deck and announced our latitude and longitude, there was an authoritative ring in his voice that was new to all of us. But that was not the worst of it. He became filled with incommunicable information. And the more he discovered the reasons for the erratic jumps of the Snark over the chart, and the less the Snark jumped, the more incommunicable and holy and awful became his information. My mild suggestions that it was about time that I began to learn, met with no hearty response, with no offers on his part to help me. He displayed not the slightest intention of living up to our agreement.

During the construction of the Snark, Roscoe and I had a deal that went something like this: “I’ll provide the books and tools,” I said, “and you should learn navigation now. I’ll be too busy to study. Then, when we’re out at sea, you can teach me what you’ve learned.” Roscoe was thrilled. Additionally, Roscoe was as open, genuine, and modest as the young men I’ve described. But once we were at sea and he started to perform the sacred practice, while I watched him with admiration, there was a subtle yet distinct change in his demeanor. When he took the sun at noon, the sense of accomplishment surrounded him like a glowing flame. When he went below deck to calculate his observations, then came back up to announce our latitude and longitude, his voice had an authoritative tone that was new to all of us. But that wasn’t the worst of it. He became filled with unshareable knowledge. The more he figured out the reasons for the unpredictable shifts of the Snark on the chart, and the fewer jumps the Snark made, the more mysterious and significant his knowledge became. My gentle suggestions that it was time for me to start learning were met with no enthusiastic response, nor any offers from him to assist me. He showed no intention of honoring our agreement.

Now this was not Roscoe’s fault; he could not help it. He had merely gone the way of all the men who learned navigation before him. By an understandable and forgivable confusion of values, plus a loss of orientation, he felt weighted by responsibility, and experienced the possession of power that was like unto that of a god. All his life Roscoe had lived on land, and therefore in sight of land. Being constantly in sight of land, with landmarks to guide him, he had managed, with occasional difficulties, to steer his body around and about the earth. Now he found himself on the sea, wide-stretching, bounded only by the eternal circle of the sky. This circle looked always the same. There were no landmarks. The sun rose to the east and set to the west and the stars wheeled through the night. But who may look at the sun or the stars and say, “My place on the face of the earth at the present moment is four and three-quarter miles to the west of Jones’s Cash Store of Smithersville”? or “I know where I am now, for the Little Dipper informs me that Boston is three miles away on the second turning to the right”? And yet that was precisely what Roscoe did. That he was astounded by the achievement, is putting it mildly. He stood in reverential awe of himself; he had performed a miraculous feat. The act of finding himself on the face of the waters became a rite, and he felt himself a superior being to the rest of us who knew not this rite and were dependent on him for being shepherded across the heaving and limitless waste, the briny highroad that connects the continents and whereon there are no mile-stones. So, with the sextant he made obeisance to the sun-god, he consulted ancient tomes and tables of magic characters, muttered prayers in a strange tongue that sounded like Indexerrorparallaxrefraction, made cabalistic signs on paper, added and carried one, and then, on a piece of holy script called the Grail—I mean the Chart—he placed his finger on a certain space conspicuous for its blankness and said, “Here we are.” When we looked at the blank space and asked, “And where is that?” he answered in the cipher-code of the higher priesthood, “31-15-47 north, 133-5-30 west.” And we said “Oh,” and felt mighty small.

Now, this wasn't Roscoe's fault; he couldn't help it. He had just followed the path of all the men who learned navigation before him. Due to a relatable and forgivable mix-up of values, plus a sense of disorientation, he felt burdened by responsibility and experienced a sense of power that felt almost god-like. All his life, Roscoe had lived on land, always within sight of the shore. With landmarks to guide him, he had, despite occasional challenges, managed to navigate his way around the earth. Now, he found himself at sea, endlessly stretching, defined only by the eternal circle of the sky. This circle always looked the same. There were no landmarks. The sun rose in the east and set in the west, and the stars moved across the night sky. But who can look at the sun or the stars and say, “My location on the Earth's surface right now is four and three-quarters miles west of Jones’s Cash Store in Smithersville”? Or “I know where I am now because the Little Dipper tells me that Boston is three miles away at the second right”? Yet, that’s exactly what Roscoe did. To say he was amazed by this accomplishment is an understatement. He stood in awe of himself; he had achieved something incredible. The act of locating himself on the waters became a ritual, and he felt superior to those of us who didn’t share this experience and depended on him to navigate across the rolling, endless expanse—the salty highway connecting the continents, where there are no mile markers. So, with the sextant, he paid homage to the sun god, consulted ancient books and tables filled with mystical symbols, mumbled prayers in a strange language that sounded like Indexerrorparallaxrefraction, made mysterious signs on paper, added and calculated, and then, on a sacred document known as the Grail—I mean the Chart—he placed his finger on a prominent blank area and said, “Here we are.” When we looked at the empty space and asked, “And where is that?” he responded in the coded language of the higher priesthood, “31-15-47 north, 133-5-30 west.” And we all said, “Oh,” and felt very small.

So I aver, it was not Roscoe’s fault. He was like unto a god, and he carried us in the hollow of his hand across the blank spaces on the chart. I experienced a great respect for Roscoe; this respect grew so profound that had he commanded, “Kneel down and worship me,” I know that I should have flopped down on the deck and yammered. But, one day, there came a still small thought to me that said: “This is not a god; this is Roscoe, a mere man like myself. What he has done, I can do. Who taught him? Himself. Go you and do likewise—be your own teacher.” And right there Roscoe crashed, and he was high priest of the Snark no longer. I invaded the sanctuary and demanded the ancient tomes and magic tables, also the prayer-wheel—the sextant, I mean.

So I say, it wasn't Roscoe's fault. He was like a god, and he guided us through the emptiness on the map. I had a deep respect for Roscoe; this respect grew so strong that if he had commanded, “Kneel down and worship me,” I know I would’ve dropped to the deck and worshipped him. But one day, a quiet thought came to me that said: “This isn’t a god; this is Roscoe, just a regular guy like me. What he’s done, I can do. Who taught him? Himself. Go and do the same—be your own teacher.” And right then Roscoe fell from grace, and he was no longer the high priest of the Snark. I stepped into the sacred space and demanded the ancient books and magic charts, also the prayer-wheel—the sextant, I mean.

And now, in simple language. I shall describe how I taught myself navigation. One whole afternoon I sat in the cockpit, steering with one hand and studying logarithms with the other. Two afternoons, two hours each, I studied the general theory of navigation and the particular process of taking a meridian altitude. Then I took the sextant, worked out the index error, and shot the sun. The figuring from the data of this observation was child’s play. In the “Epitome” and the “Nautical Almanac” were scores of cunning tables, all worked out by mathematicians and astronomers. It was like using interest tables and lightning-calculator tables such as you all know. The mystery was mystery no longer. I put my finger on the chart and announced that that was where we were. I was right too, or at least I was as right as Roscoe, who selected a spot a quarter of a mile away from mine. Even he was willing to split the distance with me. I had exploded the mystery, and yet, such was the miracle of it, I was conscious of new power in me, and I felt the thrill and tickle of pride. And when Martin asked me, in the same humble and respectful way I had previously asked Roscoe, as to where we were, it was with exaltation and spiritual chest-throwing that I answered in the cipher-code of the higher priesthood and heard Martin’s self-abasing and worshipful “Oh.” As for Charmian, I felt that in a new way I had proved my right to her; and I was aware of another feeling, namely, that she was a most fortunate woman to have a man like me.

And now, in simple terms, I'll explain how I taught myself navigation. One whole afternoon, I sat in the cockpit, steering with one hand and studying logarithms with the other. For two more afternoons, for two hours each, I learned the basics of navigation and how to take a meridian altitude. Then I grabbed the sextant, figured out the index error, and took a shot at the sun. The calculations from this observation were a breeze. In the “Epitome” and the “Nautical Almanac,” there were loads of helpful tables created by mathematicians and astronomers. It was like using interest tables and lightning-calculator tables that you're all familiar with. The mystery was gone. I pointed to the chart and declared that was our location. I was right too, or at least as right as Roscoe, who picked a spot a quarter of a mile away from mine. Even he agreed to split the difference with me. I had solved the mystery, and yet, in a miraculous way, I felt a new power within me, along with a thrill and a spark of pride. And when Martin asked me, in the same humble and respectful tone I had used with Roscoe earlier, where we were, I answered with a sense of triumph and confidence, using the secret language of the experts, and heard Martin's self-effacing and admiring "Oh." As for Charmian, I felt like I had proved my worthiness to her in a whole new way; and I was aware of another feeling—that she was incredibly lucky to have a guy like me.

I couldn’t help it. I tell it as a vindication of Roscoe and all the other navigators. The poison of power was working in me. I was not as other men—most other men; I knew what they did not know,—the mystery of the heavens, that pointed out the way across the deep. And the taste of power I had received drove me on. I steered at the wheel long hours with one hand, and studied mystery with the other. By the end of the week, teaching myself, I was able to do divers things. For instance, I shot the North Star, at night, of course; got its altitude, corrected for index error, dip, etc., and found our latitude. And this latitude agreed with the latitude of the previous noon corrected by dead reckoning up to that moment. Proud? Well, I was even prouder with my next miracle. I was going to turn in at nine o’clock. I worked out the problem, self-instructed, and learned what star of the first magnitude would be passing the meridian around half-past eight. This star proved to be Alpha Crucis. I had never heard of the star before. I looked it up on the star map. It was one of the stars of the Southern Cross. What! thought I; have we been sailing with the Southern Cross in the sky of nights and never known it? Dolts that we are! Gudgeons and moles! I couldn’t believe it. I went over the problem again, and verified it. Charmian had the wheel from eight till ten that evening. I told her to keep her eyes open and look due south for the Southern Cross. And when the stars came out, there shone the Southern Cross low on the horizon. Proud? No medicine man nor high priest was ever prouder. Furthermore, with the prayer-wheel I shot Alpha Crucis and from its altitude worked out our latitude. And still furthermore, I shot the North Star, too, and it agreed with what had been told me by the Southern Cross. Proud? Why, the language of the stars was mine, and I listened and heard them telling me my way over the deep.

I couldn't help it. I tell this as a way to defend Roscoe and all the other navigators. The poison of power was taking over me. I wasn’t like most other men; I knew what they didn’t know—the mystery of the heavens that showed the way across the deep. The taste of power I had experienced pushed me forward. I steered the wheel for long hours with one hand while studying mysteries with the other. By the end of the week, teaching myself, I was able to do various things. For example, I located the North Star at night, of course; calculated its altitude, corrected for index error, dip, etc., and found our latitude. And this latitude matched the latitude from the previous noon adjusted by dead reckoning up to that moment. Proud? I was even prouder with my next achievement. I was about to turn in at nine o'clock. I worked out the problem by myself and learned which first-magnitude star would be passing the meridian around half-past eight. This star turned out to be Alpha Crucis. I had never heard of that star before. I looked it up on the star map. It was one of the stars in the Southern Cross. What! I thought; have we been sailing with the Southern Cross in the sky at night and never realized it? How foolish we are! I couldn’t believe it. I went over the problem again and verified it. Charmian had the wheel from eight till ten that evening. I told her to keep an eye out and look due south for the Southern Cross. And when the stars came out, there it was, the Southern Cross low on the horizon. Proud? No medicine man or high priest was ever prouder. Furthermore, with the prayer-wheel, I located Alpha Crucis and used its altitude to calculate our latitude. And on top of that, I located the North Star too, and it matched what the Southern Cross had indicated. Proud? The language of the stars was mine, and I listened and heard them guiding me over the deep.

Proud? I was a worker of miracles. I forgot how easily I had taught myself from the printed page. I forgot that all the work (and a tremendous work, too) had been done by the masterminds before me, the astronomers and mathematicians, who had discovered and elaborated the whole science of navigation and made the tables in the “Epitome.” I remembered only the everlasting miracle of it—that I had listened to the voices of the stars and been told my place upon the highway of the sea. Charmian did not know, Martin did not know, Tochigi, the cabin-boy, did not know. But I told them. I was God’s messenger. I stood between them and infinity. I translated the high celestial speech into terms of their ordinary understanding. We were heaven-directed, and it was I who could read the sign-post of the sky!—I! I!

Proud? I was a miracle worker. I forgot how easily I had taught myself from books. I forgot that all the hard work (and it was a huge amount of work) had been done by the brilliant minds before me, the astronomers and mathematicians, who discovered and developed the entire science of navigation and created the tables in the “Epitome.” All I remembered was the incredible miracle of it—that I had listened to the voices of the stars and learned my place on the sea's journey. Charmian didn't know, Martin didn't know, and Tochigi, the cabin-boy, didn’t know. But I told them. I was God’s messenger. I stood between them and infinity. I translated the lofty celestial language into terms they could understand. We were guided by the heavens, and I was the one who could read the signposts of the sky!—I! I!

And now, in a cooler moment, I hasten to blab the whole simplicity of it, to blab on Roscoe and the other navigators and the rest of the priesthood, all for fear that I may become even as they, secretive, immodest, and inflated with self-esteem. And I want to say this now: any young fellow with ordinary gray matter, ordinary education, and with the slightest trace of the student-mind, can get the books, and charts, and instruments and teach himself navigation. Now I must not be misunderstood. Seamanship is an entirely different matter. It is not learned in a day, nor in many days; it requires years. Also, navigating by dead reckoning requires long study and practice. But navigating by observations of the sun, moon, and stars, thanks to the astronomers and mathematicians, is child’s play. Any average young fellow can teach himself in a week. And yet again I must not be misunderstood. I do not mean to say that at the end of a week a young fellow could take charge of a fifteen-thousand-ton steamer, driving twenty knots an hour through the brine, racing from land to land, fair weather and foul, clear sky or cloudy, steering by degrees on the compass card and making landfalls with most amazing precision. But what I do mean is just this: the average young fellow I have described can get into a staunch sail-boat and put out across the ocean, without knowing anything about navigation, and at the end of the week he will know enough to know where he is on the chart. He will be able to take a meridian observation with fair accuracy, and from that observation, with ten minutes of figuring, work out his latitude and longitude. And, carrying neither freight nor passengers, being under no press to reach his destination, he can jog comfortably along, and if at any time he doubts his own navigation and fears an imminent landfall, he can heave to all night and proceed in the morning.

And now, in a calmer moment, I’m eager to share the whole simple truth about it, to talk about Roscoe and the other navigators and the rest of the priesthood, all because I’m afraid I might become just like them—secretive, boastful, and full of myself. So, let me say this now: any young person with average intelligence, a decent education, and a hint of curiosity can get the books, charts, and tools and teach themselves navigation. Now, I shouldn’t be misunderstood. Seamanship is a completely different story. It’s not something you learn in a day or even many days; it takes years. Also, navigating by dead reckoning needs extensive practice and study. But navigating by observing the sun, moon, and stars, thanks to astronomers and mathematicians, is easy. Any average young person can teach themselves in a week. However, I have to clarify again. I don’t mean to say that at the end of a week, a young person could take control of a fifteen-thousand-ton steamer, cruising at twenty knots an hour across the ocean, racing from one shore to another, in good weather and bad, clear skies or cloudy, steering by the compass and making landfalls with incredible accuracy. What I mean is this: the average young person I’ve described can get into a sturdy sailboat and head out across the ocean, having no prior knowledge of navigation, and by the end of the week, they will know enough to understand where they are on the map. They’ll be able to take a meridian observation accurately, and from that observation, with just ten minutes of calculation, figure out their latitude and longitude. And, with no cargo or passengers, under no pressure to reach their destination, they can cruise along comfortably, and if they ever doubt their navigation and fear they’re about to reach land, they can anchor for the night and continue in the morning.

Joshua Slocum sailed around the world a few years ago in a thirty-seven-foot boat all by himself. I shall never forget, in his narrative of the voyage, where he heartily indorsed the idea of young men, in similar small boats, making similar voyage. I promptly indorsed his idea, and so heartily that I took my wife along. While it certainly makes a Cook’s tour look like thirty cents, on top of that, amid on top of the fun and pleasure, it is a splendid education for a young man—oh, not a mere education in the things of the world outside, of lands, and peoples, and climates, but an education in the world inside, an education in one’s self, a chance to learn one’s own self, to get on speaking terms with one’s soul. Then there is the training and the disciplining of it. First, naturally, the young fellow will learn his limitations; and next, inevitably, he will proceed to press back those limitations. And he cannot escape returning from such a voyage a bigger and better man. And as for sport, it is a king’s sport, taking one’s self around the world, doing it with one’s own hands, depending on no one but one’s self, and at the end, back at the starting-point, contemplating with inner vision the planet rushing through space, and saying, “I did it; with my own hands I did it. I went clear around that whirling sphere, and I can travel alone, without any nurse of a sea-captain to guide my steps across the seas. I may not fly to other stars, but of this star I myself am master.”

Joshua Slocum sailed around the world a few years ago in a thirty-seven-foot boat all by himself. I’ll never forget his account of the journey, where he passionately supported the idea of young men in similar small boats undertaking similar adventures. I completely agreed with him, so much so that I took my wife along. While it definitely makes a Cook’s tour look like pocket change, it’s not just about the fun and enjoyment; it’s an incredible education for a young man—oh, not just learning about the outside world, like different countries, cultures, and climates, but also an education within oneself, a chance to discover who you are and connect with your soul. Then there's the training and discipline that come with it. First, naturally, the young man will learn his limits; then, inevitably, he will push those limits. He can’t help but return from such a journey a bigger and better person. And as for adventure, it’s a grand adventure—taking yourself around the world, doing it with your own hands, relying on no one but yourself, and at the end, back at the starting point, reflecting on the planet zooming through space, and saying, “I did it; I did it with my own hands. I traveled all the way around that spinning sphere, and I can journey alone, without a sea captain to guide me across the oceans. I may not fly to other stars, but on this star, I am in control.”

As I write these lines I lift my eyes and look seaward. I am on the beach of Waikiki on the island of Oahu. Far, in the azure sky, the trade-wind clouds drift low over the blue-green turquoise of the deep sea. Nearer, the sea is emerald and light olive-green. Then comes the reef, where the water is all slaty purple flecked with red. Still nearer are brighter greens and tans, lying in alternate stripes and showing where sandbeds lie between the living coral banks. Through and over and out of these wonderful colours tumbles and thunders a magnificent surf. As I say, I lift my eyes to all this, and through the white crest of a breaker suddenly appears a dark figure, erect, a man-fish or a sea-god, on the very forward face of the crest where the top falls over and down, driving in toward shore, buried to his loins in smoking spray, caught up by the sea and flung landward, bodily, a quarter of a mile. It is a Kanaka on a surf-board. And I know that when I have finished these lines I shall be out in that riot of colour and pounding surf, trying to bit those breakers even as he, and failing as he never failed, but living life as the best of us may live it. And the picture of that coloured sea and that flying sea-god Kanaka becomes another reason for the young man to go west, and farther west, beyond the Baths of Sunset, and still west till he arrives home again.

As I write this, I look out towards the sea. I'm on the beach of Waikiki on the island of Oahu. In the distance, trade-wind clouds drift low over the deep blue-green turquoise water. Closer in, the sea is a mix of emerald and light olive-green. Then there's the reef, where the water turns slaty purple speckled with red. Even nearer are vibrant greens and tans, arranged in stripes, showing where sandy areas lie between the living coral. Through all these stunning colors crashes a magnificent surf. Like I said, I lift my gaze to take it all in, and through the white crest of a wave, a dark figure suddenly appears—standing tall, a man-fish or sea-god—right on the front edge of the crest where the top tumbles over and falls, rushing towards the shore, submerged to his waist in the spray, lifted by the sea and thrown towards land, a quarter of a mile away. It's a Kanaka on a surfboard. And I know that once I finish writing this, I'll be out there in that explosion of color and pounding surf, trying to ride those waves just like he does, and failing just like he never fails, but living life as best as any of us can. The image of that vibrant sea and that soaring sea-god Kanaka becomes yet another reason for the young man to head west, and further west, past the Baths of Sunset, and still west until he finds his way home again.

But to return. Please do not think that I already know it all. I know only the rudiments of navigation. There is a vast deal yet for me to learn. On the Snark there is a score of fascinating books on navigation waiting for me. There is the danger-angle of Lecky, there is the line of Sumner, which, when you know least of all where you are, shows most conclusively where you are, and where you are not. There are dozens and dozens of methods of finding one’s location on the deep, and one can work years before he masters it all in all its fineness.

But to get back to the point. Please don’t think that I know everything already. I only understand the basics of navigation. There’s so much more for me to learn. On the Snark, there are a bunch of interesting books on navigation waiting for me. There's Lecky's danger angle, and there's Sumner's line, which, when you have no idea where you are, shows you most clearly where you are and where you aren’t. There are countless methods for figuring out your location out on the open water, and one could spend years mastering it all in all its detail.

Even in the little we did learn there were slips that accounted for the apparently antic behaviour of the Snark. On Thursday, May 16, for instance, the trade wind failed us. During the twenty-four hours that ended Friday at noon, by dead reckoning we had not sailed twenty miles. Yet here are our positions, at noon, for the two days, worked out from our observations:

Even in what little we learned, there were mistakes that explained the seemingly strange behavior of the Snark. On Thursday, May 16, for example, the trade wind let us down. During the twenty-four hours that ended Friday at noon, based on our calculations, we hadn't traveled twenty miles. Yet here are our positions at noon for the two days, determined from our observations:

Thursday

Thursday

20°

20°

57′

57'

9″

9 inches

N

N

 

152°

152 degrees

40′

40 minutes

30″

30 inches

W

W

Friday

Friday

21°

21°

15′

15 minutes

33″

33 inches

N

N

 

154°

154°

12′

12'

 

 

The difference between the two positions was something like eighty miles. Yet we knew we had not travelled twenty miles. Now our figuring was all right. We went over it several times. What was wrong was the observations we had taken. To take a correct observation requires practice and skill, and especially so on a small craft like the Snark. The violently moving boat and the closeness of the observer’s eye to the surface of the water are to blame. A big wave that lifts up a mile off is liable to steal the horizon away.

The distance between the two positions was about eighty miles. However, we knew we hadn't traveled twenty miles. Our calculations were correct; we checked them several times. What was off were the observations we had made. Getting an accurate observation takes practice and skill, especially on a small boat like the Snark. The choppy movement of the boat and how close the observer's eye is to the water's surface are the culprits. A big wave that rises a mile away can easily obscure the horizon.

But in our particular case there was another perturbing factor. The sun, in its annual march north through the heavens, was increasing its declination. On the 19th parallel of north latitude in the middle of May the sun is nearly overhead. The angle of arc was between eighty-eight and eighty-nine degrees. Had it been ninety degrees it would have been straight overhead. It was on another day that we learned a few things about taking the altitude of the almost perpendicular sun. Roscoe started in drawing the sun down to the eastern horizon, and he stayed by that point of the compass despite the fact that the sun would pass the meridian to the south. I, on the other hand, started in to draw the sun down to south-east and strayed away to the south-west. You see, we were teaching ourselves. As a result, at twenty-five minutes past twelve by the ship’s time, I called twelve o’clock by the sun. Now this signified that we had changed our location on the face of the world by twenty-five minutes, which was equal to something like six degrees of longitude, or three hundred and fifty miles. This showed the Snark had travelled fifteen knots per hour for twenty-four consecutive hours—and we had never noticed it! It was absurd and grotesque. But Roscoe, still looking east, averred that it was not yet twelve o’clock. He was bent on giving us a twenty-knot clip. Then we began to train our sextants rather wildly all around the horizon, and wherever we looked, there was the sun, puzzlingly close to the sky-line, sometimes above it and sometimes below it. In one direction the sun was proclaiming morning, in another direction it was proclaiming afternoon. The sun was all right—we knew that; therefore we were all wrong. And the rest of the afternoon we spent in the cockpit reading up the matter in the books and finding out what was wrong. We missed the observation that day, but we didn’t the next. We had learned.

But in our case, there was another troubling factor. The sun, as it moved north throughout the year, was changing its angle. By the middle of May at the 19th parallel north, the sun is almost directly overhead. The angle was between eighty-eight and eighty-nine degrees. If it had been ninety degrees, it would have been straight above us. On another day, we learned a few things about measuring the altitude of the nearly vertical sun. Roscoe began by drawing the sun down to the eastern horizon and stuck with that direction even though the sun would move southward. I, on the other hand, started to draw the sun down to the southeast and ended up veering off to the southwest. You see, we were figuring things out for ourselves. As a result, at twenty-five minutes past twelve by the ship’s time, I called it twelve o’clock by the sun. This meant we had moved our position on the globe by twenty-five minutes, which was about six degrees of longitude, or three hundred and fifty miles. This showed that the Snark had traveled fifteen knots per hour for twenty-four straight hours—and we hadn’t noticed! It was ridiculous and absurd. But Roscoe, still looking east, insisted that it wasn’t yet twelve o’clock. He was determined to give us a twenty-knot pace. Then we began to aim our sextants all around the horizon, and wherever we looked, there was the sun, confusingly close to the skyline, sometimes above it and sometimes below it. In one direction, the sun was signaling morning, and in another direction, it was signaling afternoon. The sun was fine—we knew that; so we realized we were all wrong. And the rest of the afternoon, we spent in the cockpit digging into the books to figure out what was off. We missed the observation that day, but we didn’t the next. We had learned.

And we learned well, better than for a while we thought we had. At the beginning of the second dog-watch one evening, Charmian and I sat down on the forecastle-head for a rubber of cribbage. Chancing to glance ahead, I saw cloud-capped mountains rising from the sea. We were rejoiced at the sight of land, but I was in despair over our navigation. I thought we had learned something, yet our position at noon, plus what we had run since, did not put us within a hundred miles of land. But there was the land, fading away before our eyes in the fires of sunset. The land was all right. There was no disputing it. Therefore our navigation was all wrong. But it wasn’t. That land we saw was the summit of Haleakala, the House of the Sun, the greatest extinct volcano in the world. It towered ten thousand feet above the sea, and it was all of a hundred miles away. We sailed all night at a seven-knot clip, and in the morning the House of the Sun was still before us, and it took a few more hours of sailing to bring it abreast of us. “That island is Maui,” we said, verifying by the chart. “That next island sticking out is Molokai, where the lepers are. And the island next to that is Oahu. There is Makapuu Head now. We’ll be in Honolulu to-morrow. Our navigation is all right.”

And we learned well, better than we had thought for a while. One evening, at the start of the second dog-watch, Charmian and I settled down on the forecastle-head for a game of cribbage. Glancing ahead, I spotted cloud-covered mountains rising from the sea. We were thrilled to see land, but I felt hopeless about our navigation. I thought we had learned something, yet our position at noon, along with what we had traveled since then, didn’t put us within a hundred miles of land. But there was the land, disappearing before our eyes in the sunset. The land was definitely there. There was no arguing that. So, our navigation must have been completely wrong. But it wasn’t. The land we saw was the peak of Haleakala, the House of the Sun, the largest extinct volcano in the world. It rose ten thousand feet above the sea, and it was over a hundred miles away. We sailed all night at seven knots, and by morning, the House of the Sun was still in front of us, and it took a few more hours of sailing to get it alongside us. “That island is Maui,” we said, checking the chart. “That next island is Molokai, where the lepers live. And the island next to that is Oahu. There’s Makapuu Head now. We’ll be in Honolulu tomorrow. Our navigation is good.”

CHAPTER V
THE FIRST LANDING

It will not be so monotonous at sea,” I promised my fellow-voyagers on the Snark. “The sea is filled with life. It is so populous that every day something new is happening. Almost as soon as we pass through the Golden Gate and head south we’ll pick up with the flying fish. We’ll be having them fried for breakfast. We’ll be catching bonita and dolphin, and spearing porpoises from the bowsprit. And then there are the sharks—sharks without end.”

It won’t be so boring at sea,” I promised my fellow travelers on the Snark. “The sea is teeming with life. It’s so full of activity that something new happens every day. Almost as soon as we pass through the Golden Gate and head south, we’ll start seeing flying fish. We’ll be having them fried for breakfast. We’ll catch bonita and dolphin, and spear porpoises from the bowsprit. And then there are the sharks—sharks endless.”

We passed through the Golden Gate and headed south. We dropped the mountains of California beneath the horizon, and daily the surf grew warmer. But there were no flying fish, no bonita and dolphin. The ocean was bereft of life. Never had I sailed on so forsaken a sea. Always, before, in the same latitudes, had I encountered flying fish.

We went through the Golden Gate and headed south. We left the California mountains behind us, and each day the ocean became warmer. But there were no flying fish, no bonita or dolphin. The sea was empty of life. I had never sailed on such a desolate ocean before. In the same latitudes previously, I had always seen flying fish.

“Never mind,” I said. “Wait till we get off the coast of Southern California. Then we’ll pick up the flying fish.”

“It's okay,” I said. “Just wait until we leave Southern California. Then we'll catch the flying fish.”

We came abreast of Southern California, abreast of the Peninsula of Lower California, abreast of the coast of Mexico; and there were no flying fish. Nor was there anything else. No life moved. As the days went by the absence of life became almost uncanny.

We sailed alongside Southern California, alongside the Peninsula of Lower California, alongside the coast of Mexico; and there were no flying fish. There was nothing else either. No life stirred. As the days passed, the lack of life became nearly eerie.

“Never mind,” I said. “When we do pick up with the flying fish we’ll pick up with everything else. The flying fish is the staff of life for all the other breeds. Everything will come in a bunch when we find the flying fish.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “When we catch the flying fish, we’ll catch everything else too. The flying fish is essential for all the other fish. Everything will fall into place once we find the flying fish.”

When I should have headed the Snark south-west for Hawaii, I still held her south. I was going to find those flying fish. Finally the time came when, if I wanted to go to Honolulu, I should have headed the Snark due west, instead of which I kept her south. Not until latitude 19° did we encounter the first flying fish. He was very much alone. I saw him. Five other pairs of eager eyes scanned the sea all day, but never saw another. So sparse were the flying fish that nearly a week more elapsed before the last one on board saw his first flying fish. As for the dolphin, bonita, porpoise, and all the other hordes of life—there weren’t any.

When I should have steered the Snark southwest towards Hawaii, I kept her heading south instead. I was determined to find those flying fish. Eventually, the moment came when, if I wanted to reach Honolulu, I should have turned the Snark west, but instead, I continued south. It wasn’t until we reached latitude 19° that we spotted the first flying fish. He was very much alone. I saw him. Five other pairs of eager eyes searched the sea all day, but no one else saw another one. The flying fish were so rare that nearly a week later, the last person on board saw his first flying fish. As for the dolphin, bonita, porpoise, and all the other crowds of marine life—there were none.

Not even a shark broke surface with his ominous dorsal fin. Bert took a dip daily under the bowsprit, hanging on to the stays and dragging his body through the water. And daily he canvassed the project of letting go and having a decent swim. I did my best to dissuade him. But with him I had lost all standing as an authority on sea life.

Not even a shark surfaced with its menacing dorsal fin. Bert took a daily dip under the bowsprit, hanging onto the stays and dragging his body through the water. And each day he considered the idea of letting go and having a good swim. I did my best to talk him out of it. But with him, I had lost all credibility as an authority on sea life.

“If there are sharks,” he demanded, “why don’t they show up?”

“If there are sharks,” he asked, “why don't they appear?”

I assured him that if he really did let go and have a swim the sharks would promptly appear. This was a bluff on my part. I didn’t believe it. It lasted as a deterrent for two days. The third day the wind fell calm, and it was pretty hot. The Snark was moving a knot an hour. Bert dropped down under the bowsprit and let go. And now behold the perversity of things. We had sailed across two thousand miles and more of ocean and had met with no sharks. Within five minutes after Bert finished his swim, the fin of a shark was cutting the surface in circles around the Snark.

I told him that if he actually relaxed and went for a swim, the sharks would show up right away. I was just bluffing; I didn't believe it. It worked as a scare tactic for two days. On the third day, the wind died down, and it got really hot. The Snark was moving at about a knot an hour. Bert climbed down under the bowsprit and jumped in. And now, look at how things can be. We had traveled over two thousand miles of ocean and hadn't seen any sharks. Within five minutes of Bert finishing his swim, a shark's fin was slicing through the water in circles around the Snark.

There was something wrong about that shark. It bothered me. It had no right to be there in that deserted ocean. The more I thought about it, the more incomprehensible it became. But two hours later we sighted land and the mystery was cleared up. He had come to us from the land, and not from the uninhabited deep. He had presaged the landfall. He was the messenger of the land.

There was something off about that shark. It unsettled me. It had no business being there in that deserted ocean. The more I thought about it, the more confusing it got. But two hours later we spotted land, and the mystery was solved. He had come to us from the land, not from the empty deep. He had signaled the landfall. He was the messenger of the land.

Twenty-seven days out from San Francisco we arrived at the island of Oahu, Territory of Hawaii. In the early morning we drifted around Diamond Head into full view of Honolulu; and then the ocean burst suddenly into life. Flying fish cleaved the air in glittering squadrons. In five minutes we saw more of them than during the whole voyage. Other fish, large ones, of various sorts, leaped into the air. There was life everywhere, on sea and shore. We could see the masts and funnels of the shipping in the harbour, the hotels and bathers along the beach at Waikiki, the smoke rising from the dwelling-houses high up on the volcanic slopes of the Punch Bowl and Tantalus. The custom-house tug was racing toward us and a big school of porpoises got under our bow and began cutting the most ridiculous capers. The port doctor’s launch came charging out at us, and a big sea turtle broke the surface with his back and took a look at us. Never was there such a burgeoning of life. Strange faces were on our decks, strange voices were speaking, and copies of that very morning’s newspaper, with cable reports from all the world, were thrust before our eyes. Incidentally, we read that the Snark and all hands had been lost at sea, and that she had been a very unseaworthy craft anyway. And while we read this information a wireless message was being received by the congressional party on the summit of Haleakala announcing the safe arrival of the Snark.

Twenty-seven days after leaving San Francisco, we arrived at the island of Oahu, Hawaii. In the early morning, we drifted around Diamond Head and saw Honolulu come into view; suddenly, the ocean came alive. Flying fish darted through the air in sparkling groups. In just five minutes, we spotted more of them than we had during the entire journey. Other larger fish of different kinds jumped into the air. Life was everywhere, both at sea and on the shore. We could see the masts and smokestacks of the ships in the harbor, the hotels and sunbathers on Waikiki beach, and smoke rising from the houses high up on the volcanic slopes of Punch Bowl and Tantalus. The customs tug was racing toward us, while a large school of porpoises swam under our bow, performing the silliest antics. The port doctor’s launch came speeding toward us, and a big sea turtle surfaced, taking a peek at us. It was an explosion of life. There were unfamiliar faces on our decks, strange voices chatting, and copies of that morning's newspaper, with cable reports from around the world, were shoved in front of us. We casually read that the Snark and all its crew had been lost at sea, and that it had been an unseaworthy vessel anyway. Meanwhile, a wireless message was being received by the congressional group on the summit of Haleakala, announcing the safe arrival of the Snark.

It was the Snark’s first landfall—and such a landfall! For twenty-seven days we had been on the deserted deep, and it was pretty hard to realize that there was so much life in the world. We were made dizzy by it. We could not take it all in at once. We were like awakened Rip Van Winkles, and it seemed to us that we were dreaming. On one side the azure sea lapped across the horizon into the azure sky; on the other side the sea lifted itself into great breakers of emerald that fell in a snowy smother upon a white coral beach. Beyond the beach, green plantations of sugar-cane undulated gently upward to steeper slopes, which, in turn, became jagged volcanic crests, drenched with tropic showers and capped by stupendous masses of trade-wind clouds. At any rate, it was a most beautiful dream. The Snark turned and headed directly in toward the emerald surf, till it lifted and thundered on either hand; and on either hand, scarce a biscuit-toss away, the reef showed its long teeth, pale green and menacing.

It was the Snark’s first arrival on land—and what an arrival it was! For twenty-seven days we had been out on the empty ocean, and it was hard to believe there was so much life in the world. We were overwhelmed by it. We couldn’t absorb it all at once. We felt like we were waking up from a long sleep, and it seemed like a dream. On one side, the bright blue sea stretched to the horizon and blended with the bright blue sky; on the other side, the sea rose into huge emerald waves that crashed down in a foamy white mist on a sandy white beach. Beyond the beach, green fields of sugar cane rolled gently up to steeper hills, which turned into jagged volcanic peaks, soaked by tropical rain and topped with massive clouds carried by the trade winds. At the very least, it was a beautiful dream. The Snark turned and headed straight toward the emerald waves, which rose and roared on either side; and just a short distance away, the reef revealed its sharp, pale green teeth, looking threatening.

Abruptly the land itself, in a riot of olive-greens of a thousand hues, reached out its arms and folded the Snark in. There was no perilous passage through the reef, no emerald surf and azure sea—nothing but a warm soft land, a motionless lagoon, and tiny beaches on which swam dark-skinned tropic children. The sea had disappeared. The Snark’s anchor rumbled the chain through the hawse-pipe, and we lay without movement on a “lineless, level floor.” It was all so beautiful and strange that we could not accept it as real. On the chart this place was called Pearl Harbour, but we called it Dream Harbour.

Abruptly, the land itself, in a riot of olive greens in a thousand shades, reached out its arms and embraced the Snark. There was no dangerous passage through the reef, no emerald waves and blue sea—only a warm, soft land, a still lagoon, and tiny beaches where dark-skinned tropical children played. The sea had vanished. The Snark's anchor clanked as the chain moved through the hawse-pipe, and we lay still on a “lineless, level floor.” It was all so beautiful and strange that we couldn’t believe it was real. On the map, this place was called Pearl Harbor, but we called it Dream Harbor.

A launch came off to us; in it were members of the Hawaiian Yacht Club, come to greet us and make us welcome, with true Hawaiian hospitality, to all they had. They were ordinary men, flesh and blood and all the rest; but they did not tend to break our dreaming. Our last memories of men were of United States marshals and of panicky little merchants with rusty dollars for souls, who, in a reeking atmosphere of soot and coal-dust, laid grimy hands upon the Snark and held her back from her world adventure. But these men who came to meet us were clean men. A healthy tan was on their cheeks, and their eyes were not dazzled and bespectacled from gazing overmuch at glittering dollar-heaps. No, they merely verified the dream. They clinched it with their unsmirched souls.

A boat arrived for us, carrying members of the Hawaiian Yacht Club who came to welcome us with genuine Hawaiian hospitality. They were regular guys, just like anyone else; but they didn't ruin our dream. The last people we remembered were U.S. marshals and anxious little shopkeepers with tarnished values who, in a stinky haze of soot and coal dust, laid dirty hands on the Snark and held her back from her adventure. But these guys who came to greet us were clean. They had a healthy tan on their cheeks, and their eyes weren't clouded from staring too long at piles of money. No, they simply affirmed the dream. They made it real with their pure souls.

So we went ashore with them across a level flashing sea to the wonderful green land. We landed on a tiny wharf, and the dream became more insistent; for know that for twenty-seven days we had been rocking across the ocean on the tiny Snark. Not once in all those twenty-seven days had we known a moment’s rest, a moment’s cessation from movement. This ceaseless movement had become ingrained. Body and brain we had rocked and rolled so long that when we climbed out on the tiny wharf kept on rocking and rolling. This, naturally, we attributed to the wharf. It was projected psychology. I spraddled along the wharf and nearly fell into the water. I glanced at Charmian, and the way she walked made me sad. The wharf had all the seeming of a ship’s deck. It lifted, tilted, heaved and sank; and since there were no handrails on it, it kept Charmian and me busy avoiding falling in. I never saw such a preposterous little wharf. Whenever I watched it closely, it refused to roll; but as soon as I took my attention off from it, away it went, just like the Snark. Once, I caught it in the act, just as it upended, and I looked down the length of it for two hundred feet, and for all the world it was like the deck of a ship ducking into a huge head-sea.

So we went ashore with them across a bright, shimmering sea to the amazing green land. We landed on a tiny dock, and the dream felt more urgent; for you should know that for twenty-seven days we had been swaying across the ocean on the little Snark. Not once in those twenty-seven days had we experienced a moment’s rest, a moment’s break from movement. This nonstop motion had become second nature. Our bodies and minds had been rocked and rolled for so long that when we stepped onto the little dock, we kept swaying and rolling. Naturally, we blamed it on the dock. It was psychological projection. I staggered along the dock and nearly fell into the water. I glanced at Charmian, and the way she walked made me feel sad. The dock felt just like a ship’s deck. It lifted, tilted, heaved, and sank; and since there were no handrails, it kept Charmian and me busy trying not to fall in. I had never seen such a ridiculous little dock. Whenever I looked at it closely, it wouldn’t sway; but as soon as I turned my attention away, off it would go, just like the Snark. Once, I caught it in the act, just as it tipped over, and when I looked down the length of it for two hundred feet, it seemed just like the deck of a ship plunging into a massive head-sea.

At last, however, supported by our hosts, we negotiated the wharf and gained the land. But the land was no better. The very first thing it did was to tilt up on one side, and far as the eye could see I watched it tilt, clear to its jagged, volcanic backbone, and I saw the clouds above tilt, too. This was no stable, firm-founded land, else it would not cut such capers. It was like all the rest of our landfall, unreal. It was a dream. At any moment, like shifting vapour, it might dissolve away. The thought entered my head that perhaps it was my fault, that my head was swimming or that something I had eaten had disagreed with me. But I glanced at Charmian and her sad walk, and even as I glanced I saw her stagger and bump into the yachtsman by whose side she walked. I spoke to her, and she complained about the antic behaviour of the land.

At last, though, with the help of our hosts, we made it to the wharf and reached the shore. But the ground was no better. The very first thing it did was tilt to one side, and as far as I could see, it continued tilting all the way to its jagged, volcanic spine, and I noticed the clouds above tilting too. This was not stable, solid land; otherwise, it wouldn't be acting so strangely. It felt just like all our other landings, unreal. It felt like a dream. At any moment, like shifting mist, it could just disappear. I thought maybe it was my fault, that my head was spinning or that something I ate didn’t sit well with me. But when I looked at Charmian and saw her sad walk, I noticed her stagger and bump into the yachtsman she was walking with. I talked to her, and she complained about the crazy behavior of the land.

We walked across a spacious, wonderful lawn and down an avenue of royal palms, and across more wonderful lawn in the gracious shade of stately trees. The air was filled with the songs of birds and was heavy with rich warm fragrances—wafture from great lilies, and blazing blossoms of hibiscus, and other strange gorgeous tropic flowers. The dream was becoming almost impossibly beautiful to us who for so long had seen naught but the restless, salty sea. Charmian reached out her hand and clung to me—for support against the ineffable beauty of it, thought I. But no. As I supported her I braced my legs, while the flowers and lawns reeled and swung around me. It was like an earthquake, only it quickly passed without doing any harm. It was fairly difficult to catch the land playing these tricks. As long as I kept my mind on it, nothing happened. But as soon as my attention was distracted, away it went, the whole panorama, swinging and heaving and tilting at all sorts of angles. Once, however, I turned my head suddenly and caught that stately line of royal palms swinging in a great arc across the sky. But it stopped, just as soon as I caught it, and became a placid dream again.

We walked across a spacious, beautiful lawn and down a path lined with tall palm trees, then through more lovely grass in the generous shade of impressive trees. The air was filled with birds' songs and rich warm scents—drifting from large lilies, vibrant hibiscus flowers, and other unique, stunning tropical blooms. The scene was becoming almost unbelievably beautiful for us, who had for so long experienced nothing but the restless, salty sea. Charmian reached out her hand and held on to me—for support against the overwhelming beauty, I thought. But no. As I held her up, I steadied myself, while the flowers and lawns seemed to sway and spin around me. It felt like an earthquake, but it quickly passed without causing any harm. It was surprisingly hard to catch the ground playing these tricks. As long as I focused, nothing happened. But the moment my attention drifted, everything would start to shift, the entire scene moving and tilting at bizarre angles. Once, though, I suddenly turned my head and saw that elegant line of palm trees sweeping across the sky. But it stopped as soon as I noticed it and became a calm dream once more.

Next we came to a house of coolness, with great sweeping veranda, where lotus-eaters might dwell. Windows and doors were wide open to the breeze, and the songs and fragrances blew lazily in and out. The walls were hung with tapa-cloths. Couches with grass-woven covers invited everywhere, and there was a grand piano, that played, I was sure, nothing more exciting than lullabies. Servants—Japanese maids in native costume—drifted around and about, noiselessly, like butterflies. Everything was preternaturally cool. Here was no blazing down of a tropic sun upon an unshrinking sea. It was too good to be true. But it was not real. It was a dream-dwelling. I knew, for I turned suddenly and caught the grand piano cavorting in a spacious corner of the room. I did not say anything, for just then we were being received by a gracious woman, a beautiful Madonna, clad in flowing white and shod with sandals, who greeted us as though she had known us always.

Next, we arrived at a cool house with a large, sweeping veranda, perfect for lotus-eaters. The windows and doors were wide open to let in the breeze, and songs and scents floated lazily in and out. The walls were decorated with tapa cloths. Couches with grass-woven covers were inviting everywhere, and there was a grand piano that, I was sure, played nothing more exciting than lullabies. Servants—Japanese maids in traditional attire—floated around quietly like butterflies. Everything felt unnaturally cool. There was no scorching tropical sun beating down on an unyielding sea. It seemed too good to be true. But it wasn't real. It was a dream home. I knew this because I suddenly turned and saw the grand piano dancing in a spacious corner of the room. I didn’t say anything because, at that moment, we were being welcomed by a gracious woman, a beautiful Madonna, dressed in flowing white and wearing sandals, who greeted us as if she had always known us.

We sat at table on the lotus-eating veranda, served by the butterfly maids, and ate strange foods and partook of a nectar called poi. But the dream threatened to dissolve. It shimmered and trembled like an iridescent bubble about to break. I was just glancing out at the green grass and stately trees and blossoms of hibiscus, when suddenly I felt the table move. The table, and the Madonna across from me, and the veranda of the lotus-eaters, the scarlet hibiscus, the greensward and the trees—all lifted and tilted before my eyes, and heaved and sank down into the trough of a monstrous sea. I gripped my chair convulsively and held on. I had a feeling that I was holding on to the dream as well as the chair. I should not have been surprised had the sea rushed in and drowned all that fairyland and had I found myself at the wheel of the Snark just looking up casually from the study of logarithms. But the dream persisted. I looked covertly at the Madonna and her husband. They evidenced no perturbation. The dishes had not moved upon the table. The hibiscus and trees and grass were still there. Nothing had changed. I partook of more nectar, and the dream was more real than ever.

We sat at a table on the relaxed veranda, served by the butterfly waitresses, and ate unusual foods while enjoying a nectar called poi. But the dream started to fade. It shimmered and shook like a colorful bubble about to burst. I was just glancing at the green grass, tall trees, and hibiscus flowers when suddenly, I felt the table move. The table, the Madonna across from me, the veranda of the lotus-eaters, the bright hibiscus, the grass, and the trees—all lifted and tilted before my eyes, then dropped down into a huge sea. I clutched my chair frantically and held on tight. I felt like I was holding onto the dream as much as the chair. I wouldn't have been surprised if the sea rushed in and drowned that fairyland, leaving me casually studying logarithms at the helm of the Snark. But the dream continued. I sneakily looked at the Madonna and her husband. They showed no sign of worry. The dishes hadn’t moved on the table. The hibiscus, trees, and grass were still there. Nothing had changed. I had more nectar, and the dream felt more real than ever.

“Will you have some iced tea?” asked the Madonna; and then her side of the table sank down gently and I said yes to her at an angle of forty-five degrees.

“Would you like some iced tea?” asked the Madonna; and then her side of the table dipped down gently, and I nodded yes to her at a forty-five-degree angle.

“Speaking of sharks,” said her husband, “up at Niihau there was a man—” And at that moment the table lifted and heaved, and I gazed upward at him at an angle of forty-five degrees.

“Speaking of sharks,” her husband said, “up at Niihau there was a guy—” And at that moment, the table lifted and tilted, and I looked up at him at a forty-five degree angle.

So the luncheon went on, and I was glad that I did not have to bear the affliction of watching Charmian walk. Suddenly, however, a mysterious word of fear broke from the lips of the lotus-eaters. “Ah, ah,” thought I, “now the dream goes glimmering.” I clutched the chair desperately, resolved to drag back to the reality of the Snark some tangible vestige of this lotus land. I felt the whole dream lurching and pulling to be gone. Just then the mysterious word of fear was repeated. It sounded like Reporters. I looked and saw three of them coming across the lawn. Oh, blessed reporters! Then the dream was indisputably real after all. I glanced out across the shining water and saw the Snark at anchor, and I remembered that I had sailed in her from San Francisco to Hawaii, and that this was Pearl Harbour, and that even then I was acknowledging introductions and saying, in reply to the first question, “Yes, we had delightful weather all the way down.”

So the lunch continued, and I was thankful that I didn’t have to endure the discomfort of watching Charmian walk. Suddenly, though, a mysterious word of fear escaped the lips of the lotus-eaters. “Ah, ah,” I thought, “now the dream is fading.” I grabbed the chair tightly, determined to bring back a piece of this lotus land to the reality of the Snark. I felt the entire dream teetering and trying to slip away. Just then, the mysterious word of fear was repeated. It sounded like Reporters. I turned and saw three of them walking across the lawn. Oh, blessed reporters! Then the dream was undeniably real after all. I looked out over the sparkling water and saw the Snark at anchor, and I remembered that I had sailed on her from San Francisco to Hawaii, and that this was Pearl Harbour, and even then I was acknowledging introductions and responding to the first question, “Yes, we had delightful weather all the way down.”

CHAPTER VI
A royal sport

That is what it is, a royal sport for the natural kings of earth. The grass grows right down to the water at Waikiki Beach, and within fifty feet of the everlasting sea. The trees also grow down to the salty edge of things, and one sits in their shade and looks seaward at a majestic surf thundering in on the beach to one’s very feet. Half a mile out, where is the reef, the white-headed combers thrust suddenly skyward out of the placid turquoise-blue and come rolling in to shore. One after another they come, a mile long, with smoking crests, the white battalions of the infinite army of the sea. And one sits and listens to the perpetual roar, and watches the unending procession, and feels tiny and fragile before this tremendous force expressing itself in fury and foam and sound. Indeed, one feels microscopically small, and the thought that one may wrestle with this sea raises in one’s imagination a thrill of apprehension, almost of fear. Why, they are a mile long, these bull-mouthed monsters, and they weigh a thousand tons, and they charge in to shore faster than a man can run. What chance? No chance at all, is the verdict of the shrinking ego; and one sits, and looks, and listens, and thinks the grass and the shade are a pretty good place in which to be.

That is what it is, a royal sport for the natural rulers of the earth. The grass stretches right down to the water at Waikiki Beach, just fifty feet from the endless sea. The trees also grow down to the salty edge, and you can sit in their shade, looking out at the majestic waves crashing onto the beach right at your feet. Half a mile out, where the reef is, the white-capped waves rise suddenly from the calm turquoise water and roll in toward the shore. They come in one after another, a mile long, with smoking crests, like the white battalions of the infinite army of the sea. You sit and listen to the constant roar, watch the endless procession, and feel tiny and fragile in the face of this massive force expressing itself in fury, foam, and sound. Indeed, you feel microscopically small, and the thought of wrestling with this sea sends a shiver of apprehension, almost fear, through your mind. Why, these bull-mouthed monsters are a mile long, they weigh a thousand tons, and they rush in to shore faster than anyone can run. What chance? No chance at all, thinks the shrinking ego; and you sit, look, listen, and realize that the grass and the shade are a pretty good place to be.

And suddenly, out there where a big smoker lifts skyward, rising like a sea-god from out of the welter of spume and churning white, on the giddy, toppling, overhanging and downfalling, precarious crest appears the dark head of a man. Swiftly he rises through the rushing white. His black shoulders, his chest, his loins, his limbs—all is abruptly projected on one’s vision. Where but the moment before was only the wide desolation and invincible roar, is now a man, erect, full-statured, not struggling frantically in that wild movement, not buried and crushed and buffeted by those mighty monsters, but standing above them all, calm and superb, poised on the giddy summit, his feet buried in the churning foam, the salt smoke rising to his knees, and all the rest of him in the free air and flashing sunlight, and he is flying through the air, flying forward, flying fast as the surge on which he stands. He is a Mercury—a brown Mercury. His heels are winged, and in them is the swiftness of the sea. In truth, from out of the sea he has leaped upon the back of the sea, and he is riding the sea that roars and bellows and cannot shake him from its back. But no frantic outreaching and balancing is his. He is impassive, motionless as a statue carved suddenly by some miracle out of the sea’s depth from which he rose. And straight on toward shore he flies on his winged heels and the white crest of the breaker. There is a wild burst of foam, a long tumultuous rushing sound as the breaker falls futile and spent on the beach at your feet; and there, at your feet steps calmly ashore a Kanaka, burnt, golden and brown by the tropic sun. Several minutes ago he was a speck a quarter of a mile away. He has “bitted the bull-mouthed breaker” and ridden it in, and the pride in the feat shows in the carriage of his magnificent body as he glances for a moment carelessly at you who sit in the shade of the shore. He is a Kanaka—and more, he is a man, a member of the kingly species that has mastered matter and the brutes and lorded it over creation.

And suddenly, out there where a big wave rises into the sky, soaring like a sea god from the frothy chaos, amidst the churning white, on the dizzying, precarious crest appears the dark head of a man. He swiftly emerges from the rushing white water. His black shoulders, chest, waist, and limbs—all are suddenly visible. Where just a moment before there was only vast emptiness and deafening noise, now stands a man, upright and fully formed, not wildly struggling against that turbulent movement, not buried or beaten by those powerful waves, but standing above it all, calm and majestic, balanced on the dizzy peak, his feet submerged in the swirling foam, the salty spray rising to his knees, and the rest of him in the open air and bright sunlight, flying through the air, racing forward, moving as fast as the surge beneath him. He is like Mercury—a brown Mercury. His heels are winged, and they carry the swiftness of the ocean. In truth, he has jumped from the sea onto the back of the sea, and he is riding the roaring waves that can’t throw him off. But there’s no frantic reach or balance for him. He is still, motionless like a statue suddenly carved from the ocean’s depths. And he flies straight toward the shore on his winged heels and the white peaks of the waves. There’s a wild burst of foam, a long tumultuous sound as the wave crashes futilely and spent onto the beach at your feet; and there, stepping calmly ashore is a Kanaka, tanned golden brown by the tropical sun. Just a few minutes ago, he was a speck a quarter of a mile away. He has “taken on the massive wave” and ridden it in, and the pride in his accomplishment shows in the way he carries his impressive body as he glances casually at you sitting in the shade on the shore. He is a Kanaka—and more, he is a man, a member of the noble species that has conquered nature and the beasts and ruled over creation.

And one sits and thinks of Tristram’s last wrestle with the sea on that fatal morning; and one thinks further, to the fact that that Kanaka has done what Tristram never did, and that he knows a joy of the sea that Tristram never knew. And still further one thinks. It is all very well, sitting here in cool shade of the beach, but you are a man, one of the kingly species, and what that Kanaka can do, you can do yourself. Go to. Strip off your clothes that are a nuisance in this mellow clime. Get in and wrestle with the sea; wing your heels with the skill and power that reside in you; bit the sea’s breakers, master them, and ride upon their backs as a king should.

And you sit and think about Tristram’s last struggle with the sea on that tragic morning; and you think even more about the fact that that Kanaka has done what Tristram never did, and that he experiences a joy in the sea that Tristram never knew. And you think further. It’s nice to be here in the cool shade of the beach, but you are a man, part of the noble species, and what that Kanaka can do, you can do too. Come on. Take off your clothes that are annoying in this pleasant climate. Jump in and wrestle with the sea; use the skill and power within you; challenge the sea’s waves, conquer them, and ride their backs like a king should.

And that is how it came about that I tackled surf-riding. And now that I have tackled it, more than ever do I hold it to be a royal sport. But first let me explain the physics of it. A wave is a communicated agitation. The water that composes the body of a wave does not move. If it did, when a stone is thrown into a pond and the ripples spread away in an ever widening circle, there would appear at the centre an ever increasing hole. No, the water that composes the body of a wave is stationary. Thus, you may watch a particular portion of the ocean’s surface and you will see the same water rise and fall a thousand times to the agitation communicated by a thousand successive waves. Now imagine this communicated agitation moving shoreward. As the bottom shoals, the lower portion of the wave strikes land first and is stopped. But water is fluid, and the upper portion has not struck anything, wherefore it keeps on communicating its agitation, keeps on going. And when the top of the wave keeps on going, while the bottom of it lags behind, something is bound to happen. The bottom of the wave drops out from under and the top of the wave falls over, forward, and down, curling and cresting and roaring as it does so. It is the bottom of a wave striking against the top of the land that is the cause of all surfs.

And that’s how I got into surf-riding. Now that I’ve done it, I believe even more that it’s a fantastic sport. But first, let me break down the physics behind it. A wave is a communicated disturbance. The water that makes up a wave doesn't actually move. If it did, when you throw a stone into a pond and the ripples spread out in ever-widening circles, there would be an increasing hole in the center. No, the water that makes up a wave stays in place. So, if you watch a specific part of the ocean’s surface, you’ll see the same water rise and fall a thousand times due to a thousand successive waves. Now, imagine this communicated disturbance moving toward the shore. As the bottom gets shallower, the lower part of the wave hits the land first and gets stopped. But water is fluid, and the upper part hasn’t hit anything, so it keeps moving and communicating its disturbance. When the top of the wave keeps going while the bottom lags behind, something has to happen. The bottom of the wave drops out from under it, and the top of the wave collapses forward and down, curling and cresting and roaring as it does. It’s the bottom of a wave colliding with the top of the land that creates all the surf.

But the transformation from a smooth undulation to a breaker is not abrupt except where the bottom shoals abruptly. Say the bottom shoals gradually for from quarter of a mile to a mile, then an equal distance will be occupied by the transformation. Such a bottom is that off the beach of Waikiki, and it produces a splendid surf-riding surf. One leaps upon the back of a breaker just as it begins to break, and stays on it as it continues to break all the way in to shore.

But the change from a gentle wave to a crashing wave isn't sudden, except where the sea floor rises sharply. If the sea floor gradually rises over a distance of a quarter of a mile to a mile, then the transition will take place over an equal distance. Such a sea floor can be found off Waikiki Beach, and it creates amazing waves for surfing. One jumps onto the back of a wave right as it starts to break and stays on it while it continues to crash all the way to the shore.

And now to the particular physics of surf-riding. Get out on a flat board, six feet long, two feet wide, and roughly oval in shape. Lie down upon it like a small boy on a coaster and paddle with your hands out to deep water, where the waves begin to crest. Lie out there quietly on the board. Sea after sea breaks before, behind, and under and over you, and rushes in to shore, leaving you behind. When a wave crests, it gets steeper. Imagine yourself, on your hoard, on the face of that steep slope. If it stood still, you would slide down just as a boy slides down a hill on his coaster. “But,” you object, “the wave doesn’t stand still.” Very true, but the water composing the wave stands still, and there you have the secret. If ever you start sliding down the face of that wave, you’ll keep on sliding and you’ll never reach the bottom. Please don’t laugh. The face of that wave may be only six feet, yet you can slide down it a quarter of a mile, or half a mile, and not reach the bottom. For, see, since a wave is only a communicated agitation or impetus, and since the water that composes a wave is changing every instant, new water is rising into the wave as fast as the wave travels. You slide down this new water, and yet remain in your old position on the wave, sliding down the still newer water that is rising and forming the wave. You slide precisely as fast as the wave travels. If it travels fifteen miles an hour, you slide fifteen miles an hour. Between you and shore stretches a quarter of mile of water. As the wave travels, this water obligingly heaps itself into the wave, gravity does the rest, and down you go, sliding the whole length of it. If you still cherish the notion, while sliding, that the water is moving with you, thrust your arms into it and attempt to paddle; you will find that you have to be remarkably quick to get a stroke, for that water is dropping astern just as fast as you are rushing ahead.

And now let's get into the specifics of surf-riding. Get on a flat board that's six feet long, two feet wide, and roughly oval in shape. Lie on it like a kid on a coaster and paddle with your hands out to deep water, where the waves start to break. Just lie there quietly on the board. Wave after wave crashes before, behind, and beneath you, rushing to shore while you stay behind. When a wave crests, it becomes steeper. Picture yourself on your board, facing that steep slope. If it were still, you’d slide down just like a kid slides down a hill on a coaster. “But,” you might say, “the wave doesn’t stay still.” True, but the water that makes up the wave stays still, and there’s the secret. Once you start sliding down the face of that wave, you’ll keep sliding without ever reaching the bottom. Please don’t laugh. The face of that wave might be only six feet high, yet you can slide down it a quarter of a mile or even half a mile without touching the bottom. Because a wave is just a transfer of energy or motion, and since the water in a wave is constantly changing, new water rises into the wave as fast as it travels. You slide down this new water while still staying in your original spot on the wave, sliding down the continually fresh water that’s rising and forming the wave. You slide at exactly the same speed as the wave travels. If it moves at fifteen miles an hour, you slide at fifteen miles an hour. There’s a quarter of a mile of water between you and the shore. As the wave moves, the water conveniently stacks itself into the wave, gravity takes care of the rest, and down you go, sliding the entire length of it. If you still think that the water is moving with you while you’re sliding, put your arms into it and try to paddle; you’ll find you have to be remarkably quick to get a stroke because that water is dropping back just as fast as you’re moving ahead.

And now for another phase of the physics of surf-riding. All rules have their exceptions. It is true that the water in a wave does not travel forward. But there is what may be called the send of the sea. The water in the overtoppling crest does move forward, as you will speedily realize if you are slapped in the face by it, or if you are caught under it and are pounded by one mighty blow down under the surface panting and gasping for half a minute. The water in the top of a wave rests upon the water in the bottom of the wave. But when the bottom of the wave strikes the land, it stops, while the top goes on. It no longer has the bottom of the wave to hold it up. Where was solid water beneath it, is now air, and for the first time it feels the grip of gravity, and down it falls, at the same time being torn asunder from the lagging bottom of the wave and flung forward. And it is because of this that riding a surf-board is something more than a mere placid sliding down a hill. In truth, one is caught up and hurled shoreward as by some Titan’s hand.

And now for another aspect of the physics of surfing. All rules have their exceptions. It's true that the water in a wave doesn’t move forward. However, there is something that can be called the push of the sea. The water at the peak of the wave does move forward, as you’ll quickly realize if it hits you in the face, or if you get caught underneath it and get slammed down, struggling to breathe for half a minute. The water at the top of a wave sits on the water at the bottom. But when the bottom of the wave hits the shore, it stops, while the top continues on. It no longer has the bottom of the wave to support it. Where there used to be solid water beneath is now air, and for the first time, it feels the pull of gravity, and it falls, while being separated from the slower-moving bottom of the wave and propelled forward. This is why riding a surfboard is more than just smoothly sliding down a hill. In reality, you are lifted and propelled towards the shore as if by the hand of a giant.

I deserted the cool shade, put on a swimming suit, and got hold of a surf-board. It was too small a board. But I didn’t know, and nobody told me. I joined some little Kanaka boys in shallow water, where the breakers were well spent and small—a regular kindergarten school. I watched the little Kanaka boys. When a likely-looking breaker came along, they flopped upon their stomachs on their boards, kicked like mad with their feet, and rode the breaker in to the beach. I tried to emulate them. I watched them, tried to do everything that they did, and failed utterly. The breaker swept past, and I was not on it. I tried again and again. I kicked twice as madly as they did, and failed. Half a dozen would be around. We would all leap on our boards in front of a good breaker. Away our feet would churn like the stern-wheels of river steamboats, and away the little rascals would scoot while I remained in disgrace behind.

I left the cool shade, put on a swimsuit, and grabbed a surfboard. It was too small for me. But I didn’t realize it, and nobody said anything. I joined some young Kanaka boys in shallow water, where the waves were gentle and manageable—a total beginner's spot. I watched the little Kanaka boys. When a good wave came, they lay on their stomachs on their boards, kicked like crazy with their feet, and rode the wave into the beach. I tried to copy them. I watched what they did, attempted everything they did, and completely failed. The wave rolled past, and I wasn’t on it. I kept trying. I kicked twice as hard as they did and still failed. A few other kids were around. We would all jump on our boards in front of a good wave. Our feet would churn like the paddles of riverboats, and off the little rascals would go while I was left behind in embarrassment.

I tried for a solid hour, and not one wave could I persuade to boost me shoreward. And then arrived a friend, Alexander Hume Ford, a globe trotter by profession, bent ever on the pursuit of sensation. And he had found it at Waikiki. Heading for Australia, he had stopped off for a week to find out if there were any thrills in surf-riding, and he had become wedded to it. He had been at it every day for a month and could not yet see any symptoms of the fascination lessening on him. He spoke with authority.

I spent a whole hour trying, but not a single wave was on my side to take me toward the shore. Then my friend, Alexander Hume Ford, a globe-trotting adventurer, showed up, always on the hunt for excitement. He discovered it at Waikiki. On his way to Australia, he paused for a week to see if surf-riding offered any thrills, and he had totally fallen for it. He had been doing it every day for a month and showed no signs of losing interest. He spoke with confidence.

“Get off that board,” he said. “Chuck it away at once. Look at the way you’re trying to ride it. If ever the nose of that board hits bottom, you’ll be disembowelled. Here, take my board. It’s a man’s size.”

“Get off that board,” he said. “Throw it away right now. Look at how you’re trying to ride it. If the nose of that board ever hits the bottom, you’ll be seriously injured. Here, take my board. It’s a proper size for a man.”

I am always humble when confronted by knowledge. Ford knew. He showed me how properly to mount his board. Then he waited for a good breaker, gave me a shove at the right moment, and started me in. Ah, delicious moment when I felt that breaker grip and fling me.

I always feel humble when faced with knowledge. Ford knew that. He showed me the right way to get onto his board. Then he waited for the perfect wave, gave me a push at just the right time, and sent me in. Ah, what a thrilling moment when I felt that wave catch and launch me.

On I dashed, a hundred and fifty feet, and subsided with the breaker on the sand. From that moment I was lost. I waded back to Ford with his board. It was a large one, several inches thick, and weighed all of seventy-five pounds. He gave me advice, much of it. He had had no one to teach him, and all that he had laboriously learned in several weeks he communicated to me in half an hour. I really learned by proxy. And inside of half an hour I was able to start myself and ride in. I did it time after time, and Ford applauded and advised. For instance, he told me to get just so far forward on the board and no farther. But I must have got some farther, for as I came charging in to land, that miserable board poked its nose down to bottom, stopped abruptly, and turned a somersault, at the same time violently severing our relations. I was tossed through the air like a chip and buried ignominiously under the downfalling breaker. And I realized that if it hadn’t been for Ford, I’d have been disembowelled. That particular risk is part of the sport, Ford says. Maybe he’ll have it happen to him before he leaves Waikiki, and then, I feel confident, his yearning for sensation will be satisfied for a time.

On I ran, a hundred and fifty feet, and collapsed with the wave onto the sand. From that moment I was lost. I waded back to Ford with his board. It was a large one, several inches thick, and weighed about seventy-five pounds. He gave me a lot of advice. He had no one to teach him, and everything he had painstakingly learned over several weeks, he shared with me in half an hour. I was really learning by proxy. In less than half an hour, I was able to start myself and ride in. I did it repeatedly, and Ford cheered and offered tips. For example, he told me to position myself just a bit forward on the board and no further. But I must have gone too far because as I came rushing in to land, that dreadful board dove down, stopped suddenly, and flipped over, violently ending our connection. I was thrown through the air like a twig and unceremoniously buried under the crashing wave. I realized that if it hadn’t been for Ford, I would have been seriously injured. That particular danger is part of the sport, Ford says. Maybe he’ll experience it himself before he leaves Waikiki, and then, I’m sure, his craving for excitement will be satisfied for a while.

When all is said and done, it is my steadfast belief that homicide is worse than suicide, especially if, in the former case, it is a woman. Ford saved me from being a homicide. “Imagine your legs are a rudder,” he said. “Hold them close together, and steer with them.” A few minutes later I came charging in on a comber. As I neared the beach, there, in the water, up to her waist, dead in front of me, appeared a woman. How was I to stop that comber on whose back I was? It looked like a dead woman. The board weighed seventy-five pounds, I weighed a hundred and sixty-five. The added weight had a velocity of fifteen miles per hour. The board and I constituted a projectile. I leave it to the physicists to figure out the force of the impact upon that poor, tender woman. And then I remembered my guardian angel, Ford. “Steer with your legs!” rang through my brain. I steered with my legs, I steered sharply, abruptly, with all my legs and with all my might. The board sheered around broadside on the crest. Many things happened simultaneously. The wave gave me a passing buffet, a light tap as the taps of waves go, but a tap sufficient to knock me off the board and smash me down through the rushing water to bottom, with which I came in violent collision and upon which I was rolled over and over. I got my head out for a breath of air and then gained my feet. There stood the woman before me. I felt like a hero. I had saved her life. And she laughed at me. It was not hysteria. She had never dreamed of her danger. Anyway, I solaced myself, it was not I but Ford that saved her, and I didn’t have to feel like a hero. And besides, that leg-steering was great. In a few minutes more of practice I was able to thread my way in and out past several bathers and to remain on top my breaker instead of going under it.

When everything is said and done, I firmly believe that homicide is worse than suicide, especially when it involves a woman. Ford saved me from causing a homicide. “Imagine your legs are a rudder,” he told me. “Keep them close together and steer with them.” A few minutes later, I charged in on a big wave. As I got closer to the beach, there, in the water, standing up to her waist, right in front of me, was a woman. How was I supposed to stop that wave I was riding? It looked like a dead woman. The board weighed seventy-five pounds, and I weighed a hundred and sixty-five. The combined weight was moving at fifteen miles per hour. The board and I became a projectile. I’ll leave it to physicists to calculate the impact force on that poor woman. Then I remembered my guardian angel, Ford. “Steer with your legs!” echoed in my mind. I steered with my legs, sharp and decisive, using all my strength. The board turned sideways on the crest of the wave. Many things happened at once. The wave knocked me lightly, just a tap like waves do, but enough to throw me off the board and send me crashing into the rushing water, where I collided violently with the bottom and tumbled over and over. I managed to get my head above water for a breath and then got back on my feet. There stood the woman in front of me. I felt like a hero. I had saved her life. And she laughed at me. It wasn’t hysteria; she hadn’t realized how dangerous it was. Anyway, I comforted myself knowing it was Ford who saved her, so I didn’t have to feel like a hero. Plus, that leg steering was fantastic. After a little more practice, I was able to weave in and out past several bathers and ride the waves without getting pulled under.

“To-morrow,” Ford said, “I am going to take you out into the blue water.”

“Tomorrow,” Ford said, “I’m going to take you out into the blue water.”

I looked seaward where he pointed, and saw the great smoking combers that made the breakers I had been riding look like ripples. I don’t know what I might have said had I not recollected just then that I was one of a kingly species. So all that I did say was, “All right, I’ll tackle them to-morrow.”

I looked out at the ocean where he pointed and saw the huge, smoky waves that made the ones I had been riding seem like small ripples. I’m not sure what I would have said if I hadn’t just remembered that I belonged to a royal lineage. So all I said was, “Okay, I’ll take them on tomorrow.”

The water that rolls in on Waikiki Beach is just the same as the water that laves the shores of all the Hawaiian Islands; and in ways, especially from the swimmer’s standpoint, it is wonderful water. It is cool enough to be comfortable, while it is warm enough to permit a swimmer to stay in all day without experiencing a chill. Under the sun or the stars, at high noon or at midnight, in midwinter or in midsummer, it does not matter when, it is always the same temperature—not too warm, not too cold, just right. It is wonderful water, salt as old ocean itself, pure and crystal-clear. When the nature of the water is considered, it is not so remarkable after all that the Kanakas are one of the most expert of swimming races.

The water that comes in at Waikiki Beach is just like the water surrounding all the Hawaiian Islands; and from a swimmer's perspective, it's amazing water. It's cool enough to feel comfortable but warm enough that a swimmer can stay in all day without getting cold. Whether under the sun or the stars, at high noon or midnight, in winter or summer, it never changes in temperature—not too warm, not too cold, just right. It's incredible water, salty like the ancient ocean itself, pure and crystal-clear. Given the nature of the water, it’s not surprising that the Kanakas are one of the most skilled swimming cultures.

So it was, next morning, when Ford came along, that I plunged into the wonderful water for a swim of indeterminate length. Astride of our surf-boards, or, rather, flat down upon them on our stomachs, we paddled out through the kindergarten where the little Kanaka boys were at play. Soon we were out in deep water where the big smokers came roaring in. The mere struggle with them, facing them and paddling seaward over them and through them, was sport enough in itself. One had to have his wits about him, for it was a battle in which mighty blows were struck, on one side, and in which cunning was used on the other side—a struggle between insensate force and intelligence. I soon learned a bit. When a breaker curled over my head, for a swift instant I could see the light of day through its emerald body; then down would go my head, and I would clutch the board with all my strength. Then would come the blow, and to the onlooker on shore I would be blotted out. In reality the board and I have passed through the crest and emerged in the respite of the other side. I should not recommend those smashing blows to an invalid or delicate person. There is weight behind them, and the impact of the driven water is like a sandblast. Sometimes one passes through half a dozen combers in quick succession, and it is just about that time that he is liable to discover new merits in the stable land and new reasons for being on shore.

So it was, the next morning, when Ford showed up, that I dove into the amazing water for a swim of unknown length. We climbed onto our surfboards, or rather, lay flat on them on our stomachs, and paddled out past the little Kanaka boys who were playing. Soon, we were in deeper water where the big waves were crashing in. Just struggling with them, facing them, and paddling out over and through them was enough excitement on its own. You had to stay alert because it was a battle of massive force on one side and strategy on the other—a clash between raw power and cleverness. I quickly picked up a few things. When a wave curled over my head, for a brief moment, I could see the light through its green body; then my head would go down, and I would grip the board with all my strength. Then came the impact, and to someone watching from the shore, I would disappear. In reality, the board and I had passed through the top of the wave and emerged on the other side. I wouldn't recommend those powerful hits to someone who's sick or not very sturdy. They pack a punch, and the force of the water feels like a sandblaster. Sometimes you go through several waves in quick succession, and that's when you might start to appreciate the solid ground and think of reasons to stay on the shore.

Out there in the midst of such a succession of big smoky ones, a third man was added to our party, one Freeth. Shaking the water from my eyes as I emerged from one wave and peered ahead to see what the next one looked like, I saw him tearing in on the back of it, standing upright on his board, carelessly poised, a young god bronzed with sunburn. We went through the wave on the back of which he rode. Ford called to him. He turned an airspring from his wave, rescued his board from its maw, paddled over to us and joined Ford in showing me things. One thing in particular I learned from Freeth, namely, how to encounter the occasional breaker of exceptional size that rolled in. Such breakers were really ferocious, and it was unsafe to meet them on top of the board. But Freeth showed me, so that whenever I saw one of that calibre rolling down on me, I slid off the rear end of the board and dropped down beneath the surface, my arms over my head and holding the board. Thus, if the wave ripped the board out of my hands and tried to strike me with it (a common trick of such waves), there would be a cushion of water a foot or more in depth, between my head and the blow. When the wave passed, I climbed upon the board and paddled on. Many men have been terribly injured, I learn, by being struck by their boards.

Out there in the middle of all those big, smoky waves, a third guy joined our group, a dude named Freeth. As I shook the water from my eyes after coming up from one wave and looked ahead to see what the next one was like, I spotted him riding in on the back of it, standing tall on his board, nonchalantly balanced, like a young sunbaked god. We went through the wave he was on. Ford called out to him. He did a quick maneuver off his wave, saved his board from getting swallowed, paddled over to us, and teamed up with Ford to show me some stuff. One important thing I learned from Freeth was how to handle those occasional huge breakers that came rolling in. Those waves were really intense, and it was risky to try to ride them on the board. But Freeth taught me that whenever I saw one of those coming at me, I should slide off the back of the board and dive beneath the surface, with my arms over my head holding onto the board. That way, if the wave yanked the board out of my grip and tried to hit me with it (which often happened), there would be at least a foot of water cushion between my head and the impact. Once the wave passed, I’d climb back on the board and paddle away. I’ve heard that many guys have been seriously hurt from being hit by their boards.

The whole method of surf-riding and surf-fighting, learned, is one of non-resistance. Dodge the blow that is struck at you. Dive through the wave that is trying to slap you in the face. Sink down, feet first, deep under the surface, and let the big smoker that is trying to smash you go by far overhead. Never be rigid. Relax. Yield yourself to the waters that are ripping and tearing at you. When the undertow catches you and drags you seaward along the bottom, don’t struggle against it. If you do, you are liable to be drowned, for it is stronger than you. Yield yourself to that undertow. Swim with it, not against it, and you will find the pressure removed. And, swimming with it, fooling it so that it does not hold you, swim upward at the same time. It will be no trouble at all to reach the surface.

The whole approach to surf-riding and surf-fighting, once learned, is about non-resistance. Avoid the blow aimed at you. Dive under the wave that’s about to hit you. Go down feet first, deep below the surface, and let the big wave that’s trying to take you out pass overhead. Never be stiff. Relax. Give in to the water that’s pulling and pushing at you. When the undertow grabs you and pulls you out to sea along the bottom, don’t fight it. If you do, you could drown because it’s stronger than you. Surrender to that undertow. Swim with it, not against it, and you’ll feel the pressure lift. And while you swim with it, trick it so it doesn’t hold onto you, and swim upward at the same time. It will be easy to reach the surface.

The man who wants to learn surf-riding must be a strong swimmer, and he must be used to going under the water. After that, fair strength and common-sense are all that is required. The force of the big comber is rather unexpected. There are mix-ups in which board and rider are torn apart and separated by several hundred feet. The surf-rider must take care of himself. No matter how many riders swim out with him, he cannot depend upon any of them for aid. The fancied security I had in the presence of Ford and Freeth made me forget that it was my first swim out in deep water among the big ones. I recollected, however, and rather suddenly, for a big wave came in, and away went the two men on its back all the way to shore. I could have been drowned a dozen different ways before they got back to me.

The guy who wants to learn how to surf needs to be a strong swimmer and comfortable going underwater. After that, decent strength and common sense are all you really need. The power of the big waves can be pretty surprising. There are times when the board and the rider get tossed apart, sometimes a few hundred feet away from each other. The surfer has to look out for themselves. No matter how many surfers are out there with him, he can't count on any of them for help. The false sense of security I felt with Ford and Freeth around made me forget that it was my first time swimming out in deep water with the big waves. However, I suddenly remembered when a huge wave came in and swept the two men back to shore. I could have easily drowned multiple times before they made it back to me.

One slides down the face of a breaker on his surf-board, but he has to get started to sliding. Board and rider must be moving shoreward at a good rate before the wave overtakes them. When you see the wave coming that you want to ride in, you turn tail to it and paddle shoreward with all your strength, using what is called the windmill stroke. This is a sort of spurt performed immediately in front of the wave. If the board is going fast enough, the wave accelerates it, and the board begins its quarter-of-a-mile slide.

One rides down the face of a wave on their surfboard, but they have to get moving first. The board and the rider need to be heading toward the shore at a good speed before the wave catches up to them. When you see the wave you want to ride, you turn away from it and paddle toward the shore with all your strength, using what's known as the windmill stroke. This is a quick burst of energy right in front of the wave. If the board is moving fast enough, the wave will propel it, and the board will start its quarter-mile glide.

I shall never forget the first big wave I caught out there in the deep water. I saw it coming, turned my back on it and paddled for dear life. Faster and faster my board went, till it seemed my arms would drop off. What was happening behind me I could not tell. One cannot look behind and paddle the windmill stroke. I heard the crest of the wave hissing and churning, and then my board was lifted and flung forward. I scarcely knew what happened the first half-minute. Though I kept my eyes open, I could not see anything, for I was buried in the rushing white of the crest. But I did not mind. I was chiefly conscious of ecstatic bliss at having caught the wave. At the end of the half-minute, however, I began to see things, and to breathe. I saw that three feet of the nose of my board was clear out of water and riding on the air. I shifted my weight forward, and made the nose come down. Then I lay, quite at rest in the midst of the wild movement, and watched the shore and the bathers on the beach grow distinct. I didn’t cover quite a quarter of a mile on that wave, because, to prevent the board from diving, I shifted my weight back, but shifted it too far and fell down the rear slope of the wave.

I will never forget the first big wave I caught out there in the deep water. I saw it coming, turned my back on it, and paddled with all my strength. My board picked up speed, faster and faster, until it felt like my arms would give out. I couldn’t tell what was happening behind me. You can’t look back and do the paddling technique at the same time. I heard the wave's crest hissing and churning, and then my board shot up and pushed me forward. For the first half-minute, I barely grasped what was happening. Even with my eyes open, I couldn’t see anything because I was submerged in the rushing white of the crest. But I didn’t mind. I was mostly filled with ecstatic joy from catching the wave. After about half a minute, though, I began to see again and could breathe. I noticed that three feet of the nose of my board was out of the water, riding on air. I shifted my weight forward to bring the nose down. Then I lay back, completely relaxed in the wild movement, and watched as the shore and the people on the beach came into focus. I didn’t ride that wave for quite a quarter of a mile because, to keep the board from diving, I shifted my weight back but went too far and fell down the back of the wave.

It was my second day at surf-riding, and I was quite proud of myself. I stayed out there four hours, and when it was over, I was resolved that on the morrow I’d come in standing up. But that resolution paved a distant place. On the morrow I was in bed. I was not sick, but I was very unhappy, and I was in bed. When describing the wonderful water of Hawaii I forgot to describe the wonderful sun of Hawaii. It is a tropic sun, and, furthermore, in the first part of June, it is an overhead sun. It is also an insidious, deceitful sun. For the first time in my life I was sunburned unawares. My arms, shoulders, and back had been burned many times in the past and were tough; but not so my legs. And for four hours I had exposed the tender backs of my legs, at right-angles, to that perpendicular Hawaiian sun. It was not until after I got ashore that I discovered the sun had touched me. Sunburn at first is merely warm; after that it grows intense and the blisters come out. Also, the joints, where the skin wrinkles, refuse to bend. That is why I spent the next day in bed. I couldn’t walk. And that is why, to-day, I am writing this in bed. It is easier to than not to. But to-morrow, ah, to-morrow, I shall be out in that wonderful water, and I shall come in standing up, even as Ford and Freeth. And if I fail to-morrow, I shall do it the next day, or the next. Upon one thing I am resolved: the Snark shall not sail from Honolulu until I, too, wing my heels with the swiftness of the sea, and become a sun-burned, skin-peeling Mercury.

It was my second day surfing, and I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I spent four hours out there, and when it was over, I decided that the next day I’d ride in standing up. But that decision ended up somewhere far away. The next day, I was in bed. I wasn’t sick, but I was really unhappy, and I was in bed. When talking about the amazing water in Hawaii, I forgot to mention the amazing sun in Hawaii. It’s a tropical sun, and in early June, it's directly overhead. It’s also a sneaky, deceptive sun. For the first time in my life, I got sunburned without realizing it. My arms, shoulders, and back had been burned many times before and were tough; but not my legs. I had exposed the delicate skin on the backs of my legs for four hours to that intense Hawaiian sun. I didn’t realize how much the sun had gotten to me until I got back on land. Sunburn starts off feeling just warm; then it turns into sharp pain, and blisters appear. Also, the spots where the skin creases refuse to bend. That’s why I spent the next day in bed. I couldn’t walk. That’s also why, today, I’m writing this in bed. It’s easier than getting up. But tomorrow, oh, tomorrow, I’ll be back in that incredible water, and I’ll come in standing up, just like Ford and Freeth. And if I don’t manage it tomorrow, I’ll try again the next day or the day after that. One thing’s for sure: the Snark won't leave Honolulu until I, too, am flying across the waves with the swiftness of the sea, turning into a sunburned, skin-peeling Mercury.

CHAPTER VII
The Leprosy Patients of Molokai

When the Snark sailed along the windward coast of Molokai, on her way to Honolulu, I looked at the chart, then pointed to a low-lying peninsula backed by a tremendous cliff varying from two to four thousand feet in height, and said: “The pit of hell, the most cursed place on earth.” I should have been shocked, if, at that moment, I could have caught a vision of myself a month later, ashore in the most cursed place on earth and having a disgracefully good time along with eight hundred of the lepers who were likewise having a good time. Their good time was not disgraceful; but mine was, for in the midst of so much misery it was not meet for me to have a good time. That is the way I felt about it, and my only excuse is that I couldn’t help having a good time.

When the Snark sailed along the windward coast of Molokai, heading to Honolulu, I looked at the chart, pointed to a low-lying peninsula backed by a massive cliff rising between two and four thousand feet, and said: “The pit of hell, the most cursed place on earth.” I would have been shocked if, at that moment, I could have imagined myself a month later, onshore in the most cursed place on earth, having a ridiculously good time with eight hundred lepers who were also enjoying themselves. Their enjoyment wasn’t disgraceful; mine was, because in the face of so much suffering, it didn’t feel right for me to have a good time. That’s how I felt about it, and my only excuse is that I couldn’t help but enjoy myself.

For instance, in the afternoon of the Fourth of July all the lepers gathered at the race-track for the sports. I had wandered away from the Superintendent and the physicians in order to get a snapshot of the finish of one of the races. It was an interesting race, and partisanship ran high. Three horses were entered, one ridden by a Chinese, one by an Hawaiian, and one by a Portuguese boy. All three riders were lepers; so were the judges and the crowd. The race was twice around the track. The Chinese and the Hawaiian got away together and rode neck and neck, the Portuguese boy toiling along two hundred feet behind. Around they went in the same positions. Halfway around on the second and final lap the Chinese pulled away and got one length ahead of the Hawaiian. At the same time the Portuguese boy was beginning to crawl up. But it looked hopeless. The crowd went wild. All the lepers were passionate lovers of horseflesh. The Portuguese boy crawled nearer and nearer. I went wild, too. They were on the home stretch. The Portuguese boy passed the Hawaiian. There was a thunder of hoofs, a rush of the three horses bunched together, the jockeys plying their whips, and every last onlooker bursting his throat, or hers, with shouts and yells. Nearer, nearer, inch by inch, the Portuguese boy crept up, and passed, yes, passed, winning by a head from the Chinese. I came to myself in a group of lepers. They were yelling, tossing their hats, and dancing around like fiends. So was I. When I came to I was waving my hat and murmuring ecstatically: “By golly, the boy wins! The boy wins!”

For example, on the afternoon of the Fourth of July, all the lepers gathered at the racetrack for the events. I had wandered away from the Superintendent and the doctors to get a snapshot of the finish of one of the races. It was an exciting race, and everyone was really into it. Three horses were entered: one ridden by a Chinese guy, one by a Hawaiian, and one by a Portuguese boy. All three riders were lepers; so were the judges and the crowd. The race went twice around the track. The Chinese and the Hawaiian took off together and rode side by side, while the Portuguese boy lagged about two hundred feet behind. They went around in the same positions. Halfway through the second and final lap, the Chinese rider pulled ahead by a length. Meanwhile, the Portuguese boy was starting to catch up, but it seemed unlikely he’d win. The crowd went wild. All the lepers were passionate horse racing fans. The Portuguese boy kept getting closer and closer. I got excited, too. They were on the final stretch. The Portuguese boy passed the Hawaiian. There was a thunder of hooves, a rush of the three horses bunched together, the jockeys whipping their horses, and every last spectator shouting their lungs out. Closer and closer, inch by inch, the Portuguese boy crept up and then passed, yes, passed, winning by a head over the Chinese. I came to myself amid a crowd of lepers. They were yelling, tossing their hats, and dancing around like crazy. So was I. When I regained my senses, I was waving my hat and murmuring excitedly, “Wow, the boy wins! The boy wins!”

I tried to check myself. I assured myself that I was witnessing one of the horrors of Molokai, and that it was shameful for me, under such circumstances, to be so light-hearted and light-headed. But it was no use. The next event was a donkey-race, and it was just starting; so was the fun. The last donkey in was to win the race, and what complicated the affair was that no rider rode his own donkey. They rode one another’s donkeys, the result of which was that each man strove to make the donkey he rode beat his own donkey ridden by some one else, Naturally, only men possessing very slow or extremely obstreperous donkeys had entered them for the race. One donkey had been trained to tuck in its legs and lie down whenever its rider touched its sides with his heels. Some donkeys strove to turn around and come back; others developed a penchant for the side of the track, where they stuck their heads over the railing and stopped; while all of them dawdled. Halfway around the track one donkey got into an argument with its rider. When all the rest of the donkeys had crossed the wire, that particular donkey was still arguing. He won the race, though his rider lost it and came in on foot. And all the while nearly a thousand lepers were laughing uproariously at the fun. Anybody in my place would have joined with them in having a good time.

I tried to hold it together. I told myself that I was witnessing one of the horrors of Molokai, and that it was shameful for me to be so carefree and giddy under such circumstances. But it didn’t help. The next event was a donkey race, and it was just starting; so was the fun. The last donkey to cross the finish line was supposed to win the race, and what made it even more interesting was that no rider rode their own donkey. They rode each other’s donkeys, which meant that each guy tried to get the donkey he was riding to beat his own donkey, which someone else was riding. Naturally, only the guys with very slow or incredibly stubborn donkeys entered them for the race. One donkey had been trained to tuck in its legs and lie down whenever its rider nudged its sides with his heels. Some donkeys tried to turn around and head back; others preferred the side of the track, sticking their heads over the railing and stopping there; while all of them just took their time. Halfway around the track, one donkey got into a debate with its rider. By the time all the other donkeys had crossed the finish line, that particular donkey was still arguing. It won the race, even though its rider lost and had to finish on foot. And through it all, nearly a thousand lepers were laughing loudly at the spectacle. Anyone in my position would have joined them in enjoying the fun.

All the foregoing is by way of preamble to the statement that the horrors of Molokai, as they have been painted in the past, do not exist. The Settlement has been written up repeatedly by sensationalists, and usually by sensationalists who have never laid eyes on it. Of course, leprosy is leprosy, and it is a terrible thing; but so much that is lurid has been written about Molokai that neither the lepers, nor those who devote their lives to them, have received a fair deal. Here is a case in point. A newspaper writer, who, of course, had never been near the Settlement, vividly described Superintendent McVeigh, crouching in a grass hut and being besieged nightly by starving lepers on their knees, wailing for food. This hair-raising account was copied by the press all over the United States and was the cause of many indignant and protesting editorials. Well, I lived and slept for five days in Mr. McVeigh’s “grass hut” (which was a comfortable wooden cottage, by the way; and there isn’t a grass house in the whole Settlement), and I heard the lepers wailing for food—only the wailing was peculiarly harmonious and rhythmic, and it was accompanied by the music of stringed instruments, violins, guitars, ukuleles, and banjos. Also, the wailing was of various sorts. The leper brass band wailed, and two singing societies wailed, and lastly a quintet of excellent voices wailed. So much for a lie that should never have been printed. The wailing was the serenade which the glee clubs always give Mr. McVeigh when he returns from a trip to Honolulu.

All of the above serves as an introduction to the point that the horrors of Molokai, as they have often been described in the past, simply aren’t true. The Settlement has been sensationalized repeatedly, usually by people who have never even seen it. Of course, leprosy is a serious issue, and it’s a horrific thing; but there’s been so much exaggeration about Molokai that neither the lepers nor the people who dedicate their lives to helping them have been portrayed fairly. Here’s an example. A newspaper writer, who clearly had never been to the Settlement, vividly described Superintendent McVeigh crouching in a grass hut, besieged nightly by starving lepers on their knees, crying out for food. This sensational story was picked up by media all over the United States and triggered numerous outraged editorials. Well, I lived and slept for five days in Mr. McVeigh’s “grass hut” (which, by the way, was actually a comfortable wooden cottage; there aren’t any grass houses in the entire Settlement), and I heard the lepers’ cries for food—only the crying was remarkably harmonious and rhythmic, accompanied by the music of stringed instruments, violins, guitars, ukuleles, and banjos. Plus, the crying was of various kinds. The leper brass band was playing, and two singing clubs were performing, and finally, a quintet of excellent voices joined in. So much for a lie that should never have been published. The crying was actually a serenade that the glee clubs always give Mr. McVeigh when he returns from a trip to Honolulu.

Leprosy is not so contagious as is imagined. I went for a week’s visit to the Settlement, and I took my wife along—all of which would not have happened had we had any apprehension of contracting the disease. Nor did we wear long, gauntleted gloves and keep apart from the lepers. On the contrary, we mingled freely with them, and before we left, knew scores of them by sight and name. The precautions of simple cleanliness seem to be all that is necessary. On returning to their own houses, after having been among and handling lepers, the non-lepers, such as the physicians and the superintendent, merely wash their faces and hands with mildly antiseptic soap and change their coats.

Leprosy isn’t as contagious as people think. I visited the Settlement for a week, and I took my wife with me—none of this would have happened if we were worried about catching the disease. We didn’t wear long gloves or keep our distance from the lepers. In fact, we interacted with them freely, and by the time we left, we recognized many of them by sight and name. Basic cleanliness precautions seem to be all that’s needed. When non-lepers, like doctors and the superintendent, return to their homes after being around and interacting with lepers, they just wash their hands and faces with some mild antiseptic soap and change their coats.

That a leper is unclean, however, should be insisted upon; and the segregation of lepers, from what little is known of the disease, should be rigidly maintained. On the other hand, the awful horror with which the leper has been regarded in the past, and the frightful treatment he has received, have been unnecessary and cruel. In order to dispel some of the popular misapprehensions of leprosy, I want to tell something of the relations between the lepers and non-lepers as I observed them at Molokai. On the morning after our arrival Charmian and I attended a shoot of the Kalaupapa Rifle Club, and caught our first glimpse of the democracy of affliction and alleviation that obtains. The club was just beginning a prize shoot for a cup put up by Mr. McVeigh, who is also a member of the club, as also are Dr. Goodhue and Dr. Hollmann, the resident physicians (who, by the way, live in the Settlement with their wives). All about us, in the shooting booth, were the lepers. Lepers and non-lepers were using the same guns, and all were rubbing shoulders in the confined space. The majority of the lepers were Hawaiians. Sitting beside me on a bench was a Norwegian. Directly in front of me, in the stand, was an American, a veteran of the Civil War, who had fought on the Confederate side. He was sixty-five years of age, but that did not prevent him from running up a good score. Strapping Hawaiian policemen, lepers, khaki-clad, were also shooting, as were Portuguese, Chinese, and kokuas—the latter are native helpers in the Settlement who are non-lepers. And on the afternoon that Charmian and I climbed the two-thousand-foot pali and looked our last upon the Settlement, the superintendent, the doctors, and the mixture of nationalities and of diseased and non-diseased were all engaged in an exciting baseball game.

That a leper is unclean should definitely be emphasized, and the separation of lepers, based on what little is understood about the disease, should be strictly enforced. However, the terrible fear with which lepers have been treated in the past, along with the cruel treatment they’ve received, has been unnecessary. To clear up some of the common misconceptions about leprosy, I want to share what I observed about the relationships between lepers and non-lepers at Molokai. The morning after we arrived, Charmian and I attended a shooting event for the Kalaupapa Rifle Club, and we got our first look at the equality of suffering and support that existed there. The club was starting a prize shoot for a cup donated by Mr. McVeigh, who is also a club member, as are Dr. Goodhue and Dr. Hollmann, the resident physicians (who, by the way, live in the Settlement with their wives). All around us in the shooting booth were the lepers. Lepers and non-lepers were using the same guns and were mingling closely in the compact space. Most of the lepers were Hawaiians. Sitting next to me on a bench was a Norwegian. Directly in front of me in the stands was an American, a Civil War veteran who had fought for the Confederacy. He was sixty-five years old, but that didn’t stop him from scoring well. Strong Hawaiian policemen, who were lepers and dressed in khaki, were also shooting, along with Portuguese, Chinese, and kokuas—the native helpers in the Settlement who are non-lepers. And on the afternoon that Charmian and I climbed the two-thousand-foot pali and took our final look at the Settlement, the superintendent, the doctors, and a mix of nationalities, both diseased and non-diseased, were all caught up in an exciting baseball game.

Not so was the leper and his greatly misunderstood and feared disease treated during the middle ages in Europe. At that time the leper was considered legally and politically dead. He was placed in a funeral procession and led to the church, where the burial service was read over him by the officiating clergyman. Then a spadeful of earth was dropped upon his chest and he was dead-living dead. While this rigorous treatment was largely unnecessary, nevertheless, one thing was learned by it. Leprosy was unknown in Europe until it was introduced by the returning Crusaders, whereupon it spread slowly until it had seized upon large numbers of the people. Obviously, it was a disease that could be contracted by contact. It was a contagion, and it was equally obvious that it could be eradicated by segregation. Terrible and monstrous as was the treatment of the leper in those days, the great lesson of segregation was learned. By its means leprosy was stamped out.

Not so was the leper and his greatly misunderstood and feared disease treated during the Middle Ages in Europe. At that time, lepers were considered legally and politically dead. They were placed in a funeral procession and led to the church, where the burial service was read over them by the officiating clergyman. Then a spadeful of earth was dropped on their chests, and they were seen as living dead. While this harsh treatment was mostly unnecessary, one important lesson was learned from it. Leprosy was unknown in Europe until it was brought back by the returning Crusaders, after which it slowly spread, affecting large numbers of people. It was clear that it was a disease that could be contracted through contact. It was contagious, and it was also clear that it could be eliminated through segregation. Terrible and monstrous as the treatment of lepers was back then, the significant lesson of segregation was learned. Through this method, leprosy was eradicated.

And by the same means leprosy is even now decreasing in the Hawaiian Islands. But the segregation of the lepers on Molokai is not the horrible nightmare that has been so often exploited by yellow writers. In the first place, the leper is not torn ruthlessly from his family. When a suspect is discovered, he is invited by the Board of Health to come to the Kalihi receiving station at Honolulu. His fare and all expenses are paid for him. He is first passed upon by microscopical examination by the bacteriologist of the Board of Health. If the bacillus lepræ is found, the patient is examined by the Board of Examining Physicians, five in number. If found by them to be a leper, he is so declared, which finding is later officially confirmed by the Board of Health, and the leper is ordered straight to Molokai. Furthermore, during the thorough trial that is given his case, the patient has the right to be represented by a physician whom he can select and employ for himself. Nor, after having been declared a leper, is the patient immediately rushed off to Molokai. He is given ample time, weeks, and even months, sometimes, during which he stays at Kalihi and winds up or arranges all his business affairs. At Molokai, in turn, he may be visited by his relatives, business agents, etc., though they are not permitted to eat and sleep in his house. Visitors’ houses, kept “clean,” are maintained for this purpose.

And by the same means, leprosy is currently declining in the Hawaiian Islands. However, the segregation of lepers on Molokai is not the horrifying ordeal that has been often portrayed by sensational writers. First of all, a leper is not forcibly separated from his family. When someone is suspected, they are invited by the Board of Health to come to the Kalihi receiving station in Honolulu. Their travel and all expenses are covered. They first undergo a microscopic examination by the bacteriologist of the Board of Health. If the bacillus lepræ is found, the patient is evaluated by a Board of Examining Physicians, which consists of five members. If they determine the person is a leper, that conclusion is later officially confirmed by the Board of Health, and the leper is ordered directly to Molokai. Furthermore, during the thorough evaluation of their case, the patient has the right to be represented by a physician of their choosing. Additionally, after being declared a leper, the patient is not immediately sent to Molokai. They are given sufficient time—weeks, and sometimes even months—during which they stay at Kalihi to settle or manage their business affairs. Once at Molokai, they can receive visits from their relatives, business agents, etc., though those visitors are not allowed to eat or sleep in the patient's house. Clean visitor houses are maintained for this purpose.

I saw an illustration of the thorough trial given the suspect, when I visited Kalihi with Mr. Pinkham, president of the Board of Health. The suspect was an Hawaiian, seventy years of age, who for thirty-four years had worked in Honolulu as a pressman in a printing office. The bacteriologist had decided that he was a leper, the Examining Board had been unable to make up its mind, and that day all had come out to Kalihi to make another examination.

I saw a detailed account of the complete trial faced by the suspect when I visited Kalihi with Mr. Pinkham, the president of the Board of Health. The suspect was a Hawaiian man, seventy years old, who had been working in Honolulu as a pressman in a printing office for thirty-four years. The bacteriologist had concluded that he was a leper, the Examining Board had not been able to reach a decision, and that day everyone had come out to Kalihi for another examination.

When at Molokai, the declared leper has the privilege of re-examination, and patients are continually coming back to Honolulu for that purpose. The steamer that took me to Molokai had on board two returning lepers, both young women, one of whom had come to Honolulu to settle up some property she owned, and the other had come to Honolulu to see her sick mother. Both had remained at Kalihi for a month.

When at Molokai, a diagnosed leper has the right to have their condition reevaluated, and patients frequently return to Honolulu for that reason. The boat that took me to Molokai had two lepers on board who were returning, both young women. One had gone to Honolulu to take care of some property she owned, while the other had gone to see her sick mother. Both had stayed at Kalihi for a month.

The Settlement of Molokai enjoys a far more delightful climate than even Honolulu, being situated on the windward side of the island in the path of the fresh north-east trades. The scenery is magnificent; on one side is the blue sea, on the other the wonderful wall of the pali, receding here and there into beautiful mountain valleys. Everywhere are grassy pastures over which roam the hundreds of horses which are owned by the lepers. Some of them have their own carts, rigs, and traps. In the little harbour of Kalaupapa lie fishing boats and a steam launch, all of which are privately owned and operated by lepers. Their bounds upon the sea are, of course, determined: otherwise no restriction is put upon their sea-faring. Their fish they sell to the Board of Health, and the money they receive is their own. While I was there, one night’s catch was four thousand pounds.

The Settlement of Molokai has a much nicer climate than Honolulu since it's on the windward side of the island, in the path of the fresh northeast trade winds. The scenery is stunning; on one side, there's the blue sea, and on the other, the beautiful wall of the pali, which dips into gorgeous mountain valleys at some points. There are grassy pastures everywhere, where hundreds of horses owned by the lepers roam around. Some of them even have their own carts and buggies. In the small harbor of Kalaupapa, you’ll find fishing boats and a steam launch, all privately owned and operated by the lepers. Their sea limits are set, but otherwise, there are no restrictions on their fishing activities. They sell their catch to the Board of Health, and the money they earn is theirs to keep. While I was there, the catch one night totaled four thousand pounds.

And as these men fish, others farm. All trades are followed. One leper, a pure Hawaiian, is the boss painter. He employs eight men, and takes contracts for painting buildings from the Board of Health. He is a member of the Kalaupapa Rifle Club, where I met him, and I must confess that he was far better dressed than I. Another man, similarly situated, is the boss carpenter. Then, in addition to the Board of Health store, there are little privately owned stores, where those with shopkeeper’s souls may exercise their peculiar instincts. The Assistant Superintendent, Mr. Waiamau, a finely educated and able man, is a pure Hawaiian and a leper. Mr. Bartlett, who is the present storekeeper, is an American who was in business in Honolulu before he was struck down by the disease. All that these men earn is that much in their own pockets. If they do not work, they are taken care of anyway by the territory, given food, shelter, clothes, and medical attendance. The Board of Health carries on agriculture, stock-raising, and dairying, for local use, and employment at fair wages is furnished to all that wish to work. They are not compelled to work, however, for they are the wards of the territory. For the young, and the very old, and the helpless there are homes and hospitals.

And while these men are fishing, others are farming. Every trade is represented. One leper, who is a pure Hawaiian, is the lead painter. He hires eight men and takes contracts to paint buildings from the Board of Health. I met him at the Kalaupapa Rifle Club, and I have to admit he was dressed better than I was. Another man in a similar situation is the lead carpenter. In addition to the Board of Health store, there are small privately-owned shops where those with a knack for retail can pursue their interests. The Assistant Superintendent, Mr. Waiamau, is a well-educated and capable man, and he is also a pure Hawaiian and a leper. Mr. Bartlett, the current storekeeper, is an American who ran a business in Honolulu before he was affected by the disease. Whatever these men earn is theirs to keep. If they don’t work, the territory still provides for them, offering food, shelter, clothing, and medical care. The Board of Health manages agriculture, livestock, and dairy farming for local use, and offers fair-wage jobs to anyone who wants to work. However, they are not required to work since they are wards of the territory. There are homes and hospitals available for the young, the elderly, and the helpless.

Major Lee, an American and long a marine engineer for the Inter Island Steamship Company, I met actively at work in the new steam laundry, where he was busy installing the machinery. I met him often, afterwards, and one day he said to me:

Major Lee, an American who had been a marine engineer for the Inter Island Steamship Company for a long time, I found hard at work in the new steam laundry, where he was busy setting up the machinery. I ran into him frequently after that, and one day he said to me:

“Give us a good breeze about how we live here. For heaven’s sake write us up straight. Put your foot down on this chamber-of-horrors rot and all the rest of it. We don’t like being misrepresented. We’ve got some feelings. Just tell the world how we really are in here.”

“Give us a clear idea of how we live here. For goodness' sake, be honest in your writing. Put your foot down on this ridiculous nonsense and everything else related. We don’t appreciate being misrepresented. We have feelings. Just tell the world what we’re really like in here.”

Man after man that I met in the Settlement, and woman after woman, in one way or another expressed the same sentiment. It was patent that they resented bitterly the sensational and untruthful way in which they have been exploited in the past.

Man after man that I met in the Settlement, and woman after woman, in one way or another expressed the same sentiment. It was clear that they resented bitterly the sensational and untruthful way in which they had been exploited in the past.

In spite of the fact that they are afflicted by disease, the lepers form a happy colony, divided into two villages and numerous country and seaside homes, of nearly a thousand souls. They have six churches, a Young Men’s Christian Association building, several assembly halls, a band stand, a race-track, baseball grounds, shooting ranges, an athletic club, numerous glee clubs, and two brass bands.

In spite of their illness, the lepers have created a joyful community, split into two villages and many homes in the countryside and by the sea, housing almost a thousand people. They have six churches, a YMCA building, several gathering places, a bandstand, a racetrack, baseball fields, shooting ranges, an athletic club, multiple singing groups, and two brass bands.

“They are so contented down there,” Mr. Pinkham told me, “that you can’t drive them away with a shot-gun.”

“They are so happy down there,” Mr. Pinkham told me, “that you can’t scare them away with a shotgun.”

This I later verified for myself. In January of this year, eleven of the lepers, on whom the disease, after having committed certain ravages, showed no further signs of activity, were brought back to Honolulu for re-examination. They were loath to come; and, on being asked whether or not they wanted to go free if found clean of leprosy, one and all answered, “Back to Molokai.”

This I later confirmed for myself. In January of this year, eleven of the lepers, who had shown no further signs of the disease after it had done some damage, were brought back to Honolulu for re-examination. They were reluctant to come; and when asked if they wanted to be free if found clear of leprosy, they all answered, “Back to Molokai.”

In the old days, before the discovery of the leprosy bacillus, a small number of men and women, suffering from various and wholly different diseases, were adjudged lepers and sent to Molokai. Years afterward they suffered great consternation when the bacteriologists declared that they were not afflicted with leprosy and never had been. They fought against being sent away from Molokai, and in one way or another, as helpers and nurses, they got jobs from the Board of Health and remained. The present jailer is one of these men. Declared to be a non-leper, he accepted, on salary, the charge of the jail, in order to escape being sent away.

In the past, before the leprosy bacillus was discovered, a small group of men and women, suffering from various and completely different illnesses, were labeled as lepers and sent to Molokai. Years later, they were shocked when scientists announced that they did not have leprosy and never had. They resisted being removed from Molokai, and in various ways, by working as helpers and nurses, they found jobs through the Board of Health and stayed. The current jailer is one of these individuals. Declared non-leprous, he took a paid position as the jailer to avoid being sent away.

At the present moment, in Honolulu, there is a bootblack. He is an American negro. Mr. McVeigh told me about him. Long ago, before the bacteriological tests, he was sent to Molokai as a leper. As a ward of the state he developed a superlative degree of independence and fomented much petty mischief. And then, one day, after having been for years a perennial source of minor annoyances, the bacteriological test was applied, and he was declared a non-leper.

At the moment, in Honolulu, there's a bootblack. He's an American Black man. Mr. McVeigh told me about him. A long time ago, before the bacteriological tests, he was sent to Molokai as a leper. As a ward of the state, he gained an incredible level of independence and stirred up a lot of minor trouble. Then one day, after being a constant source of little annoyances for years, they did the bacteriological test and declared him a non-leper.

“Ah, ha!” chortled Mr. McVeigh. “Now I’ve got you! Out you go on the next steamer and good riddance!”

“Ah, ha!” laughed Mr. McVeigh. “Now I’ve got you! You’re out on the next steamer, and good riddance!”

But the negro didn’t want to go. Immediately he married an old woman, in the last stages of leprosy, and began petitioning the Board of Health for permission to remain and nurse his sick wife. There was no one, he said pathetically, who could take care of his poor wife as well as he could. But they saw through his game, and he was deported on the steamer and given the freedom of the world. But he preferred Molokai. Landing on the leeward side of Molokai, he sneaked down the pali one night and took up his abode in the Settlement. He was apprehended, tried and convicted of trespass, sentenced to pay a small fine, and again deported on the steamer with the warning that if he trespassed again, he would be fined one hundred dollars and be sent to prison in Honolulu. And now, when Mr. McVeigh comes up to Honolulu, the bootblack shines his shoes for him and says:

But the man didn’t want to leave. Right away, he married an old woman who was in the final stages of leprosy and started asking the Board of Health for permission to stay and care for his sick wife. He said sadly that no one could take care of his poor wife as well as he could. But they saw through his plan, and he was sent away on the steamer, given a chance at freedom. Yet he chose Molokai. When he landed on the leeward side of Molokai, he sneaked down the pali one night and settled in the Settlement. He was caught, tried, and found guilty of trespassing, sentenced to pay a small fine, and again sent away on the steamer with a warning that if he trespassed again, he would be fined one hundred dollars and sent to prison in Honolulu. And now, whenever Mr. McVeigh comes to Honolulu, the bootblack shines his shoes for him and says:

“Say, Boss, I lost a good home down there. Yes, sir, I lost a good home.” Then his voice sinks to a confidential whisper as he says, “Say, Boss, can’t I go back? Can’t you fix it for me so as I can go back?”

“Hey, Boss, I lost a good home down there. Yeah, I lost a good home.” Then his voice drops to a confidential whisper as he says, “Hey, Boss, can’t I go back? Can’t you make it happen for me so I can go back?”

He had lived nine years on Molokai, and he had had a better time there than he has ever had, before and after, on the outside.

He had spent nine years on Molokai, and he had a better experience there than he ever did, before or after, elsewhere.

As regards the fear of leprosy itself, nowhere in the Settlement among lepers, or non-lepers, did I see any sign of it. The chief horror of leprosy obtains in the minds of those who have never seen a leper and who do not know anything about the disease. At the hotel at Waikiki a lady expressed shuddering amazement at my having the hardihood to pay a visit to the Settlement. On talking with her I learned that she had been born in Honolulu, had lived there all her life, and had never laid eyes on a leper. That was more than I could say of myself in the United States, where the segregation of lepers is loosely enforced and where I have repeatedly seen lepers on the streets of large cities.

When it comes to the fear of leprosy itself, I didn't see any signs of it anywhere in the Settlement, whether among lepers or non-lepers. The true horror of leprosy exists in the minds of those who have never seen a leper and know nothing about the disease. At the hotel in Waikiki, a woman expressed shocked disbelief at my bravery in visiting the Settlement. As I spoke with her, I found out that she was born in Honolulu, had lived there her whole life, and had never seen a leper. That was more than I could say for myself in the United States, where lepers are loosely segregated and where I've frequently seen them on the streets of big cities.

Leprosy is terrible, there is no getting away from that; but from what little I know of the disease and its degree of contagiousness, I would by far prefer to spend the rest of my days in Molokai than in any tuberculosis sanatorium. In every city and county hospital for poor people in the United States, or in similar institutions in other countries, sights as terrible as those in Molokai can be witnessed, and the sum total of these sights is vastly more terrible. For that matter, if it were given me to choose between being compelled to live in Molokai for the rest of my life, or in the East End of London, the East Side of New York, or the Stockyards of Chicago, I would select Molokai without debate. I would prefer one year of life in Molokai to five years of life in the above-mentioned cesspools of human degradation and misery.

Leprosy is awful, there's no denying that; however, from what little I know about the disease and how contagious it is, I would much rather spend my remaining days in Molokai than in any tuberculosis sanatorium. In every city and county hospital for the poor in the United States, or in similar facilities in other countries, you can see sights as horrific as those in Molokai, and the totality of those sights is far more devastating. In fact, if I had to choose between living in Molokai for the rest of my life or in the East End of London, the East Side of New York, or the Stockyards of Chicago, I would pick Molokai without hesitation. I would choose one year of life in Molokai over five years of life in those aforementioned pits of human despair and suffering.

In Molokai the people are happy. I shall never forget the celebration of the Fourth of July I witnessed there. At six o’clock in the morning the “horribles” were out, dressed fantastically, astride horses, mules, and donkeys (their own property), and cutting capers all over the Settlement. Two brass bands were out as well. Then there were the pa-u riders, thirty or forty of them, Hawaiian women all, superb horsewomen dressed gorgeously in the old, native riding costume, and dashing about in twos and threes and groups. In the afternoon Charmian and I stood in the judge’s stand and awarded the prizes for horsemanship and costume to the pa-u riders. All about were the hundreds of lepers, with wreaths of flowers on heads and necks and shoulders, looking on and making merry. And always, over the brows of hills and across the grassy level stretches, appearing and disappearing, were the groups of men and women, gaily dressed, on galloping horses, horses and riders flower-bedecked and flower-garlanded, singing, and laughing, and riding like the wind. And as I stood in the judge’s stand and looked at all this, there came to my recollection the lazar house of Havana, where I had once beheld some two hundred lepers, prisoners inside four restricted walls until they died. No, there are a few thousand places I wot of in this world over which I would select Molokai as a place of permanent residence. In the evening we went to one of the leper assembly halls, where, before a crowded audience, the singing societies contested for prizes, and where the night wound up with a dance. I have seen the Hawaiians living in the slums of Honolulu, and, having seen them, I can readily understand why the lepers, brought up from the Settlement for re-examination, shouted one and all, “Back to Molokai!”

In Molokai, the people are happy. I will never forget the Fourth of July celebration I saw there. At six in the morning, the “horribles” were out, dressed in wild costumes, riding horses, mules, and donkeys (their own), and having a blast all over the Settlement. Two brass bands were there as well. Then there were the pa-u riders, thirty or forty Hawaiian women, all amazing horse riders, dressed beautifully in the traditional riding costumes, racing around in groups of two or three. In the afternoon, Charmian and I stood in the judge’s stand and awarded prizes for horsemanship and costumes to the pa-u riders. Surrounding us were hundreds of lepers, wearing flower wreaths on their heads, necks, and shoulders, watching and having fun. And always, over the hills and across the grassy stretches, groups of men and women, dressed in bright clothes, rode galloping horses, adorned with flowers, singing and laughing, riding like the wind. As I stood in the judge's stand and observed all of this, I remembered the lazar house in Havana, where I once saw about two hundred lepers confined within four walls until they died. No, there are thousands of places in this world where I would choose Molokai as a permanent home. In the evening, we went to one of the leper assembly halls, where, in front of a packed audience, singing groups competed for prizes, and the night ended with a dance. I have seen Hawaiians living in the slums of Honolulu, and after seeing that, I can easily understand why the lepers, brought from the Settlement for re-examination, all shouted, “Back to Molokai!”

One thing is certain. The leper in the Settlement is far better off than the leper who lies in hiding outside. Such a leper is a lonely outcast, living in constant fear of discovery and slowly and surely rotting away. The action of leprosy is not steady. It lays hold of its victim, commits a ravage, and then lies dormant for an indeterminate period. It may not commit another ravage for five years, or ten years, or forty years, and the patient may enjoy uninterrupted good health. Rarely, however, do these first ravages cease of themselves. The skilled surgeon is required, and the skilled surgeon cannot be called in for the leper who is in hiding. For instance, the first ravage may take the form of a perforating ulcer in the sole of the foot. When the bone is reached, necrosis sets in. If the leper is in hiding, he cannot be operated upon, the necrosis will continue to eat its way up the bone of the leg, and in a brief and horrible time that leper will die of gangrene or some other terrible complication. On the other hand, if that same leper is in Molokai, the surgeon will operate upon the foot, remove the ulcer, cleanse the bone, and put a complete stop to that particular ravage of the disease. A month after the operation the leper will be out riding horseback, running foot races, swimming in the breakers, or climbing the giddy sides of the valleys for mountain apples. And as has been stated before, the disease, lying dormant, may not again attack him for five, ten, or forty years.

One thing is clear. The leper in the Settlement is way better off than the leper who is hiding outside. That leper is a lonely outcast, living in constant fear of being discovered and slowly rotting away. The progression of leprosy isn’t steady. It attacks its victim, causes damage, and then goes dormant for an unknown amount of time. It might not cause any more damage for five years, ten years, or even forty years, and the patient might enjoy good health during that time. However, these initial damages rarely heal on their own. A skilled surgeon is needed, but they can't help the leper who is hiding. For example, the first damage might show up as a painful ulcer on the bottom of the foot. Once the bone is affected, necrosis begins. If the leper is in hiding, they can’t have surgery, and the necrosis will continue to spread up the leg bone, eventually leading to a horrible death from gangrene or another serious issue. In contrast, if that same leper is in Molokai, the surgeon can operate on the foot, remove the ulcer, clean the bone, and completely stop that particular damage caused by the disease. A month after the operation, the leper could be riding a horse, racing, swimming in the waves, or climbing the steep slopes of the valleys for mountain apples. And as mentioned before, the disease may lie dormant and not attack them again for five, ten, or forty years.

The old horrors of leprosy go back to the conditions that obtained before the days of antiseptic surgery, and before the time when physicians like Dr. Goodhue and Dr. Hollmann went to live at the Settlement. Dr. Goodhue is the pioneer surgeon there, and too much praise cannot be given him for the noble work he has done. I spent one morning in the operating room with him and of the three operations he performed, two were on men, newcomers, who had arrived on the same steamer with me. In each case, the disease had attacked in one spot only. One had a perforating ulcer in the ankle, well advanced, and the other man was suffering from a similar affliction, well advanced, under his arm. Both cases were well advanced because the man had been on the outside and had not been treated. In each case. Dr. Goodhue put an immediate and complete stop to the ravage, and in four weeks those two men will be as well and able-bodied as they ever were in their lives. The only difference between them and you or me is that the disease is lying dormant in their bodies and may at any future time commit another ravage.

The old fears surrounding leprosy date back to the days before antiseptic surgery and before doctors like Dr. Goodhue and Dr. Hollmann decided to live at the Settlement. Dr. Goodhue is the pioneering surgeon there, and he deserves all the praise for the incredible work he's done. I spent one morning in the operating room with him, and out of the three surgeries he performed, two were on men who had just arrived on the same steamer as I did. In both cases, the disease had affected only one area. One man had a severe perforating ulcer in his ankle, while the other was dealing with a similar advanced issue under his arm. Both cases had progressed because the men had been living outside without treatment. In each situation, Dr. Goodhue immediately halted the damage, and in four weeks, those two men will be just as healthy and strong as they ever were. The only difference between them and you or me is that the disease is still dormant in their bodies and could flare up again at any time.

Leprosy is as old as history. References to it are found in the earliest written records. And yet to-day practically nothing more is known about it than was known then. This much was known then, namely, that it was contagious and that those afflicted by it should be segregated. The difference between then and now is that to-day the leper is more rigidly segregated and more humanely treated. But leprosy itself still remains the same awful and profound mystery. A reading of the reports of the physicians and specialists of all countries reveals the baffling nature of the disease. These leprosy specialists are unanimous on no one phase of the disease. They do not know. In the past they rashly and dogmatically generalized. They generalize no longer. The one possible generalization that can be drawn from all the investigation that has been made is that leprosy is feebly contagious. But in what manner it is feebly contagious is not known. They have isolated the bacillus of leprosy. They can determine by bacteriological examination whether or not a person is a leper; but they are as far away as ever from knowing how that bacillus finds its entrance into the body of a non-leper. They do not know the length of time of incubation. They have tried to inoculate all sorts of animals with leprosy, and have failed.

Leprosy is as old as history itself. References to it can be found in the earliest written records. Yet today, we know practically nothing more about it than was known back then. What was understood is that it was contagious and those affected by it should be isolated. The difference between then and now is that today, the leper is more strictly isolated and treated more humanely. But leprosy itself remains a terrifying and deep mystery. A look at the reports from physicians and specialists around the world shows the puzzling nature of the disease. These leprosy specialists agree on no single aspect of the disease. They do not know. In the past, they confidently and dogmatically made sweeping statements. They no longer do that. The one possible conclusion that can be drawn from all the research done is that leprosy is feebly contagious. However, how it is feebly contagious remains unknown. They have identified the leprosy bacillus. They can determine through bacteriological tests whether or not someone has leprosy; but they are still no closer to understanding how that bacillus enters the body of a healthy person. They do not know the incubation period. They have attempted to inoculate various animals with leprosy but have failed.

They are baffled in the discovery of a serum wherewith to fight the disease. And in all their work, as yet, they have found no clue, no cure. Sometimes there have been blazes of hope, theories of causation and much heralded cures, but every time the darkness of failure quenched the flame. A doctor insists that the cause of leprosy is a long-continued fish diet, and he proves his theory voluminously till a physician from the highlands of India demands why the natives of that district should therefore be afflicted by leprosy when they have never eaten fish, nor all the generations of their fathers before them. A man treats a leper with a certain kind of oil or drug, announces a cure, and five, ten, or forty years afterwards the disease breaks out again. It is this trick of leprosy lying dormant in the body for indeterminate periods that is responsible for many alleged cures. But this much is certain: as yet there has been no authentic case of a cure.

They are confused by the discovery of a serum to fight the disease. So far, in all their efforts, they haven't found any clues or cures. There have been moments of hope, theories about causes, and much-publicized cures, but every time, the failure snuffed out that hope. One doctor insists that a long-term fish diet causes leprosy, and he extensively proves his theory until a physician from the highlands of India questions why the locals there have leprosy when they’ve never eaten fish, nor have their ancestors. A man treats a leper with a specific type of oil or drug, declares a cure, and then five, ten, or even forty years later, the disease reappears. It’s this ability of leprosy to lie dormant in the body for indefinite periods that leads to many supposed cures. But this much is certain: up to now, there has been no verified case of a cure.

Leprosy is feebly contagious, but how is it contagious? An Austrian physician has inoculated himself and his assistants with leprosy and failed to catch it. But this is not conclusive, for there is the famous case of the Hawaiian murderer who had his sentence of death commuted to life imprisonment on his agreeing to be inoculated with the bacillus lepræ. Some time after inoculation, leprosy made its appearance, and the man died a leper on Molokai. Nor was this conclusive, for it was discovered that at the time he was inoculated several members of his family were already suffering from the disease on Molokai. He may have contracted the disease from them, and it may have been well along in its mysterious period of incubation at the time he was officially inoculated. Then there is the case of that hero of the Church, Father Damien, who went to Molokai a clean man and died a leper. There have been many theories as to how he contracted leprosy, but nobody knows. He never knew himself. But every chance that he ran has certainly been run by a woman at present living in the Settlement; who has lived there many years; who has had five leper husbands, and had children by them; and who is to-day, as she always has been, free of the disease.

Leprosy is weakly contagious, but how does it spread? An Austrian doctor injected himself and his assistants with leprosy and didn’t get infected. But that’s not definitive, because there’s the notorious case of a convicted murderer in Hawaii whose death sentence was changed to life in prison after he agreed to be injected with the bacillus lepræ. Some time after the injection, he developed leprosy and died as a leper on Molokai. However, this isn’t conclusive either, as it was found that several of his family members were already suffering from the disease on Molokai at the time he was injected. He might have caught the disease from them, and it could have been in its hidden incubation phase when he was officially inoculated. Then there’s the case of Father Damien, a hero of the Church, who arrived in Molokai healthy and died as a leper. There have been many theories about how he contracted leprosy, but no one really knows, not even him. But every risk he took has certainly been taken by a woman currently living in the Settlement; she has lived there for many years; has had five leper husbands, and had children with them; and she is still, as she always has been, free of the disease.

As yet no light has been shed upon the mystery of leprosy. When more is learned about the disease, a cure for it may be expected. Once an efficacious serum is discovered, and leprosy, because it is so feebly contagious, will pass away swiftly from the earth. The battle waged with it will be short and sharp. In the meantime, how to discover that serum, or some other unguessed weapon? In the present it is a serious matter. It is estimated that there are half a million lepers, not segregated, in India alone. Carnegie libraries, Rockefeller universities, and many similar benefactions are all very well; but one cannot help thinking how far a few thousands of dollars would go, say in the leper Settlement of Molokai. The residents there are accidents of fate, scapegoats to some mysterious natural law of which man knows nothing, isolated for the welfare of their fellows who else might catch the dread disease, even as they have caught it, nobody knows how. Not for their sakes merely, but for the sake of future generations, a few thousands of dollars would go far in a legitimate and scientific search after a cure for leprosy, for a serum, or for some undreamed discovery that will enable the medical world to exterminate the bacillus lepræ. There’s the place for your money, you philanthropists.

As of now, we still don’t understand the mystery of leprosy. When we learn more about the disease, we may be able to find a cure. Once we discover an effective serum, leprosy, which is not very contagious, could quickly disappear from the planet. The fight against it will be brief and intense. In the meantime, how can we find that serum or some other unknown solution? This is a pressing issue. It's estimated that there are about half a million lepers living in India alone, not separated from the rest of the population. Carnegie libraries, Rockefeller universities, and many other charitable contributions are great, but it’s hard not to think about how much good a few thousand dollars could do, for instance, in the leper settlement of Molokai. The people there are just victims of circumstance, scapegoats to some mysterious natural law that remains unknown to humanity, isolated for the safety of others who might catch the terrifying disease, just as they did, though no one knows how. It’s not just for their sake, but for future generations as well; a few thousand dollars could significantly aid in a legitimate and scientific search for a cure for leprosy, a serum, or some unexpected breakthrough that would allow the medical community to eliminate the bacillus lepræ. That's where your money should go, philanthropists.

CHAPTER VIII
The Sun House

There are hosts of people who journey like restless spirits round and about this earth in search of seascapes and landscapes and the wonders and beauties of nature. They overrun Europe in armies; they can be met in droves and herds in Florida and the West Indies, at the Pyramids, and on the slopes and summits of the Canadian and American Rockies; but in the House of the Sun they are as rare as live and wriggling dinosaurs. Haleakala is the Hawaiian name for “the House of the Sun.” It is a noble dwelling, situated on the Island of Maui; but so few tourists have ever peeped into it, much less entered it, that their number may be practically reckoned as zero. Yet I venture to state that for natural beauty and wonder the nature-lover may see dissimilar things as great as Haleakala, but no greater, while he will never see elsewhere anything more beautiful or wonderful. Honolulu is six days’ steaming from San Francisco; Maui is a night’s run on the steamer from Honolulu; and six hours more if he is in a hurry, can bring the traveller to Kolikoli, which is ten thousand and thirty-two feet above the sea and which stands hard by the entrance portal to the House of the Sun. Yet the tourist comes not, and Haleakala sleeps on in lonely and unseen grandeur.

There are countless people who travel like restless spirits around this earth looking for beautiful coastlines, landscapes, and the wonders of nature. They flock to Europe in droves; you can find them in large groups in Florida and the West Indies, at the Pyramids, and on the slopes and peaks of the Canadian and American Rockies; but in the House of the Sun, they are as rare as live and wriggling dinosaurs. Haleakala is the Hawaiian term for “the House of the Sun.” It is a magnificent place, located on the Island of Maui; but so few tourists have ever taken a look inside, let alone entered, that their numbers can be practically counted as zero. Yet I can confidently say that while a nature lover might see things in different places as impressive as Haleakala, nothing is more beautiful or wonderful. Honolulu is six days by ship from San Francisco; Maui is a night’s journey by steamer from Honolulu; and another six hours if you're in a hurry will take a traveler to Kolikoli, which is ten thousand and thirty-two feet above sea level and stands right by the entrance to the House of the Sun. Yet the tourists do not come, and Haleakala remains in its lonely and unseen grandeur.

Not being tourists, we of the Snark went to Haleakala. On the slopes of that monster mountain there is a cattle ranch of some fifty thousand acres, where we spent the night at an altitude of two thousand feet. The next morning it was boots and saddles, and with cow-boys and packhorses we climbed to Ukulele, a mountain ranch-house, the altitude of which, fifty-five hundred feet, gives a severely temperate climate, compelling blankets at night and a roaring fireplace in the living-room. Ukulele, by the way, is the Hawaiian for “jumping flea” as it is also the Hawaiian for a certain musical instrument that may be likened to a young guitar. It is my opinion that the mountain ranch-house was named after the young guitar. We were not in a hurry, and we spent the day at Ukulele, learnedly discussing altitudes and barometers and shaking our particular barometer whenever any one’s argument stood in need of demonstration. Our barometer was the most graciously acquiescent instrument I have ever seen. Also, we gathered mountain raspberries, large as hen’s eggs and larger, gazed up the pasture-covered lava slopes to the summit of Haleakala, forty-five hundred feet above us, and looked down upon a mighty battle of the clouds that was being fought beneath us, ourselves in the bright sunshine.

Not being tourists, we from the Snark visited Haleakala. On the slopes of that massive mountain, there is a cattle ranch that spans about fifty thousand acres, where we spent the night at an altitude of two thousand feet. The next morning, it was boots and saddles, and with cowboys and packhorses, we climbed up to Ukulele, a mountain ranch house situated at an altitude of five thousand five hundred feet, which has a pretty cool climate, requiring blankets at night and a roaring fireplace in the living room. By the way, Ukulele means “jumping flea” in Hawaiian, as well as being the name of a musical instrument similar to a small guitar. I believe the mountain ranch house was named after the little guitar. We weren’t in a rush, so we spent the day at Ukulele, having learned discussions about altitudes and barometers, and shaking our particular barometer whenever someone needed to prove their point. Our barometer was the most accommodating instrument I’ve ever seen. We also picked mountain raspberries, large as hen’s eggs and even bigger, gazed up the pasture-covered lava slopes toward the summit of Haleakala, forty-five hundred feet above us, and looked down at a powerful battle of clouds that was happening beneath us while we enjoyed the bright sunshine.

Every day and every day this unending battle goes on. Ukiukiu is the name of the trade-wind that comes raging down out of the north-east and hurls itself upon Haleakala. Now Haleakala is so bulky and tall that it turns the north-east trade-wind aside on either hand, so that in the lee of Haleakala no trade-wind blows at all. On the contrary, the wind blows in the counter direction, in the teeth of the north-east trade. This wind is called Naulu. And day and night and always Ukiukiu and Naulu strive with each other, advancing, retreating, flanking, curving, curling, and turning and twisting, the conflict made visible by the cloud-masses plucked from the heavens and hurled back and forth in squadrons, battalions, armies, and great mountain ranges. Once in a while, Ukiukiu, in mighty gusts, flings immense cloud-masses clear over the summit of Haleakala; whereupon Naulu craftily captures them, lines them up in new battle-formation, and with them smites back at his ancient and eternal antagonist. Then Ukiukiu sends a great cloud-army around the eastern-side of the mountain. It is a flanking movement, well executed. But Naulu, from his lair on the leeward side, gathers the flanking army in, pulling and twisting and dragging it, hammering it into shape, and sends it charging back against Ukiukiu around the western side of the mountain. And all the while, above and below the main battle-field, high up the slopes toward the sea, Ukiukiu and Naulu are continually sending out little wisps of cloud, in ragged skirmish line, that creep and crawl over the ground, among the trees and through the canyons, and that spring upon and capture one another in sudden ambuscades and sorties. And sometimes Ukiukiu or Naulu, abruptly sending out a heavy charging column, captures the ragged little skirmishers or drives them skyward, turning over and over, in vertical whirls, thousands of feet in the air.

Every day, this endless battle continues. Ukiukiu is the name of the trade wind that fiercely comes down from the northeast and crashes into Haleakala. Haleakala is so massive and tall that it redirects the northeast trade wind around it, leaving the area on its leeward side completely windless. Instead, the wind blows in the opposite direction, against the northeast trade. This wind is called Naulu. Day and night, Ukiukiu and Naulu clash, advancing and retreating, flanking, curving, curling, and twisting, with the conflict visible in the cloud formations pulled from the sky and tossed back and forth in squadrons, battalions, armies, and vast mountain ranges. Occasionally, Ukiukiu, in powerful gusts, throws huge clouds over the summit of Haleakala, only for Naulu to cleverly seize them, rearranging them into a new battle strategy and retaliating against his long-standing enemy. Then, Ukiukiu sends a massive cloud army around the eastern side of the mountain in a well-executed flanking maneuver. But Naulu, from his hideout on the leeward side, gathers the flanking army, manipulating it into shape, and sends it charging back at Ukiukiu around the western side of the mountain. Meanwhile, above and below the main battlefield, high up the slopes toward the sea, Ukiukiu and Naulu continuously dispatch little wisps of cloud, in a ragged skirmish line, that creep and crawl over the ground, among the trees and through the canyons, ambushing and capturing one another in sudden surprise attacks. Sometimes, either Ukiukiu or Naulu, abruptly launching a heavy charge, captures the ragged little skirmishers or sends them spiraling skyward, tumbling thousands of feet in the air.

But it is on the western slopes of Haleakala that the main battle goes on. Here Naulu masses his heaviest formations and wins his greatest victories. Ukiukiu grows weak toward late afternoon, which is the way of all trade-winds, and is driven backward by Naulu. Naulu’s generalship is excellent. All day he has been gathering and packing away immense reserves. As the afternoon draws on, he welds them into a solid column, sharp-pointed, miles in length, a mile in width, and hundreds of feet thick. This column he slowly thrusts forward into the broad battle-front of Ukiukiu, and slowly and surely Ukiukiu, weakening fast, is split asunder. But it is not all bloodless. At times Ukiukiu struggles wildly, and with fresh accessions of strength from the limitless north-east, smashes away half a mile at a time of Naulu’s column and sweeps it off and away toward West Maui. Sometimes, when the two charging armies meet end-on, a tremendous perpendicular whirl results, the cloud-masses, locked together, mounting thousands of feet into the air and turning over and over. A favourite device of Ukiukiu is to send a low, squat formation, densely packed, forward along the ground and under Naulu. When Ukiukiu is under, he proceeds to buck. Naulu’s mighty middle gives to the blow and bends upward, but usually he turns the attacking column back upon itself and sets it milling. And all the while the ragged little skirmishers, stray and detached, sneak through the trees and canyons, crawl along and through the grass, and surprise one another with unexpected leaps and rushes; while above, far above, serene and lonely in the rays of the setting sun, Haleakala looks down upon the conflict. And so, the night. But in the morning, after the fashion of trade-winds, Ukiukiu gathers strength and sends the hosts of Naulu rolling back in confusion and rout. And one day is like another day in the battle of the clouds, where Ukiukiu and Naulu strive eternally on the slopes of Haleakala.

But it's on the western slopes of Haleakala that the main conflict takes place. Here, Naulu assembles his strongest formations and wins his biggest victories. Ukiukiu weakens in the late afternoon, just like all trade winds, and is pushed back by Naulu. Naulu's leadership is impressive. Throughout the day, he has been collecting and storing up huge reserves. As the afternoon progresses, he combines them into a solid column, sharp-pointed, miles long, a mile wide, and hundreds of feet thick. He slowly pushes this column forward into the wide battlefront of Ukiukiu, and gradually, as Ukiukiu weakens, it is split apart. But it's not without casualties. At times, Ukiukiu fights back fiercely, bringing fresh strength from the limitless northeast, and pushes back half a mile of Naulu's column, sweeping it away toward West Maui. Occasionally, when the two charging armies collide head-on, a massive whirlwind forms, with cloud masses locked together, shooting thousands of feet into the air and tumbling over and over. A common tactic of Ukiukiu is to send a low, compact formation, tightly packed, forward along the ground and under Naulu. When Ukiukiu is below, he responds by bucking up. Naulu's powerful center absorbs the blow and bends upward, but typically, he turns the attacking column back upon itself, setting it in disarray. Meanwhile, the small skirmishers, scattered and detached, sneak through the trees and canyons, crawling through the grass, and surprising one another with unexpected leaps and rushes; while above, far above, calm and solitary in the rays of the setting sun, Haleakala watches over the fight. And then comes the night. But in the morning, following the pattern of trade winds, Ukiukiu gathers strength and sends Naulu's forces retreating in confusion and chaos. Each day is like the last in this battle of the clouds, where Ukiukiu and Naulu endlessly struggle on the slopes of Haleakala.

Again in the morning, it was boots and saddles, cow-boys, and packhorses, and the climb to the top began. One packhorse carried twenty gallons of water, slung in five-gallon bags on either side; for water is precious and rare in the crater itself, in spite of the fact that several miles to the north and east of the crater-rim more rain comes down than in any other place in the world. The way led upward across countless lava flows, without regard for trails, and never have I seen horses with such perfect footing as that of the thirteen that composed our outfit. They climbed or dropped down perpendicular places with the sureness and coolness of mountain goats, and never a horse fell or baulked.

Once again in the morning, it was time for boots and saddles, cowboys, and packhorses, and the climb to the top began. One packhorse carried twenty gallons of water, packed in five-gallon bags on either side; because water is precious and scarce in the crater itself, even though several miles north and east of the crater rim receives more rain than any other place in the world. The path led upward across countless lava flows, without any regard for trails, and I've never seen horses with such perfect footing as the thirteen that made up our group. They ascended or descended steep areas with the confidence and ease of mountain goats, and not a single horse stumbled or hesitated.

There is a familiar and strange illusion experienced by all who climb isolated mountains. The higher one climbs, the more of the earth’s surface becomes visible, and the effect of this is that the horizon seems up-hill from the observer. This illusion is especially notable on Haleakala, for the old volcano rises directly from the sea without buttresses or connecting ranges. In consequence, as fast as we climbed up the grim slope of Haleakala, still faster did Haleakala, ourselves, and all about us, sink down into the centre of what appeared a profound abyss. Everywhere, far above us, towered the horizon. The ocean sloped down from the horizon to us. The higher we climbed, the deeper did we seem to sink down, the farther above us shone the horizon, and the steeper pitched the grade up to that horizontal line where sky and ocean met. It was weird and unreal, and vagrant thoughts of Simm’s Hole and of the volcano through which Jules Verne journeyed to the centre of the earth flitted through one’s mind.

There’s a strange and familiar illusion that everyone experiences when they climb isolated mountains. The higher you go, the more of the earth’s surface you can see, creating the effect that the horizon looks like it's uphill from where you stand. This illusion is especially striking on Haleakala, since the old volcano rises straight from the sea without any supporting ranges. As we climbed the steep slope of Haleakala, it felt like Haleakala, ourselves, and everything around us were sinking into the center of what looked like a deep abyss. Everywhere, the horizon towered far above us. The ocean sloped down from the horizon to where we were. The higher we climbed, the more we felt like we were sinking down, the farther above us the horizon sparkled, and the steeper it became to reach that horizontal line where the sky met the ocean. It was bizarre and surreal, and random thoughts of Simm’s Hole and the volcano from Jules Verne's journey to the center of the earth drifted through one’s mind.

And then, when at last we reached the summit of that monster mountain, which summit was like the bottom of an inverted cone situated in the centre of an awful cosmic pit, we found that we were at neither top nor bottom. Far above us was the heaven-towering horizon, and far beneath us, where the top of the mountain should have been, was a deeper deep, the great crater, the House of the Sun. Twenty-three miles around stretched the dizzy walls of the crater. We stood on the edge of the nearly vertical western wall, and the floor of the crater lay nearly half a mile beneath. This floor, broken by lava-flows and cinder-cones, was as red and fresh and uneroded as if it were but yesterday that the fires went out. The cinder-cones, the smallest over four hundred feet in height and the largest over nine hundred, seemed no more than puny little sand-hills, so mighty was the magnitude of the setting. Two gaps, thousands of feet deep, broke the rim of the crater, and through these Ukiukiu vainly strove to drive his fleecy herds of trade-wind clouds. As fast as they advanced through the gaps, the heat of the crater dissipated them into thin air, and though they advanced always, they got nowhere.

And then, when we finally reached the peak of that massive mountain, which was shaped like the bottom of an inverted cone in the center of a terrifying cosmic pit, we discovered that we were neither at the top nor the bottom. High above us was the sky-reaching horizon, and far below us, where the top of the mountain should have been, was a deeper abyss, the great crater, the House of the Sun. The dizzying walls of the crater stretched twenty-three miles around. We stood on the edge of the nearly vertical western wall, with the crater floor lying nearly half a mile below. This floor, marked by lava flows and cinder cones, was as red, fresh, and unweathered as if the fires had gone out just yesterday. The cinder cones, the smallest over four hundred feet tall and the largest over nine hundred, looked like tiny sandhills in comparison to the vastness of the surroundings. Two gaps, thousands of feet deep, interrupted the rim of the crater, and through these gaps, Ukiukiu fruitlessly tried to push his fluffy herds of trade-wind clouds. No matter how quickly they moved through the gaps, the heat of the crater transformed them into thin air, and even though they were always advancing, they got nowhere.

It was a scene of vast bleakness and desolation, stern, forbidding, fascinating. We gazed down upon a place of fire and earthquake. The tie-ribs of earth lay bare before us. It was a workshop of nature still cluttered with the raw beginnings of world-making. Here and there great dikes of primordial rock had thrust themselves up from the bowels of earth, straight through the molten surface-ferment that had evidently cooled only the other day. It was all unreal and unbelievable. Looking upward, far above us (in reality beneath us) floated the cloud-battle of Ukiukiu and Naulu. And higher up the slope of the seeming abyss, above the cloud-battle, in the air and sky, hung the islands of Lanai and Molokai. Across the crater, to the south-east, still apparently looking upward, we saw ascending, first, the turquoise sea, then the white surf-line of the shore of Hawaii; above that the belt of trade-clouds, and next, eighty miles away, rearing their stupendous hulks out of the azure sky, tipped with snow, wreathed with cloud, trembling like a mirage, the peaks of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa hung poised on the wall of heaven.

It was a scene of vast bleakness and desolation, stern, forbidding, and captivating. We looked down at a place of fire and earthquakes. The earth's underlying structure lay exposed before us. It was a workshop of nature still messy with the raw beginnings of world-making. Here and there, huge ridges of ancient rock had pushed up from the earth's core, breaking through the molten surface that had clearly cooled only recently. Everything felt surreal and unbelievable. Looking up, far above us (actually below us) floated the clash of clouds from Ukiukiu and Naulu. Higher up the slope of the apparent abyss, above the cloud clash, the islands of Lanai and Molokai hung in the air and sky. Across the crater, to the southeast, while it still seemed like we were looking up, we saw first the turquoise sea, then the white surf hitting the shore of Hawaii; above that, the band of trade clouds, and next, eighty miles away, rising from the blue sky, capped with snow and wrapped in clouds, the peaks of Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa hovered like a mirage on the edge of heaven.

It is told that long ago, one Maui, the son of Hina, lived on what is now known as West Maui. His mother, Hina, employed her time in the making of kapas. She must have made them at night, for her days were occupied in trying to dry the kapas. Each morning, and all morning, she toiled at spreading them out in the sun. But no sooner were they out, than she began taking them in, in order to have them all under shelter for the night. For know that the days were shorter then than now. Maui watched his mother’s futile toil and felt sorry for her. He decided to do something—oh, no, not to help her hang out and take in the kapas. He was too clever for that. His idea was to make the sun go slower. Perhaps he was the first Hawaiian astronomer. At any rate, he took a series of observations of the sun from various parts of the island. His conclusion was that the sun’s path was directly across Haleakala. Unlike Joshua, he stood in no need of divine assistance. He gathered a huge quantity of coconuts, from the fibre of which he braided a stout cord, and in one end of which he made a noose, even as the cow-boys of Haleakala do to this day. Next he climbed into the House of the Sun and laid in wait. When the sun came tearing along the path, bent on completing its journey in the shortest time possible, the valiant youth threw his lariat around one of the sun’s largest and strongest beams. He made the sun slow down some; also, he broke the beam short off. And he kept on roping and breaking off beams till the sun said it was willing to listen to reason. Maui set forth his terms of peace, which the sun accepted, agreeing to go more slowly thereafter. Wherefore Hina had ample time in which to dry her kapas, and the days are longer than they used to be, which last is quite in accord with the teachings of modern astronomy.

It’s said that long ago, a guy named Maui, the son of Hina, lived in what we now call West Maui. His mom, Hina, spent her time making kapas. She probably worked on them at night because during the day she was busy trying to dry the kapas. Every morning and throughout the morning, she worked hard to spread them out in the sun. But as soon as they were out, she started bringing them back in to keep them safe for the night. You see, the days were shorter back then. Maui watched his mom struggle and felt sorry for her. He decided to take action—oh, not by helping her hang out and bring in the kapas. He was too smart for that. His plan was to make the sun move more slowly. Maybe he was the first Hawaiian astronomer. He observed the sun from different spots on the island. He figured out that the sun's path went directly across Haleakala. Unlike Joshua, he didn’t need any divine help. He collected a bunch of coconuts, used their fibers to braid a strong cord, and made a noose at one end, just like the cowboys of Haleakala still do today. Then he climbed up into the House of the Sun and waited. When the sun came rushing along its path, eager to finish its journey as quickly as possible, the brave young man lassoed one of the sun’s biggest and strongest rays. He managed to slow the sun down a bit; he also broke the ray off. He kept roping and breaking off rays until the sun agreed to listen. Maui laid out his terms for peace, which the sun accepted, promising to move more slowly from then on. Because of this, Hina had plenty of time to dry her kapas, and now the days are longer than they used to be, which aligns with modern astronomy.

We had a lunch of jerked beef and hard poi in a stone corral, used of old time for the night-impounding of cattle being driven across the island. Then we skirted the rim for half a mile and began the descent into the crater. Twenty-five hundred feet beneath lay the floor, and down a steep slope of loose volcanic cinders we dropped, the sure-footed horses slipping and sliding, but always keeping their feet. The black surface of the cinders, when broken by the horses’ hoofs, turned to a yellow ochre dust, virulent in appearance and acid of taste, that arose in clouds. There was a gallop across a level stretch to the mouth of a convenient blow-hole, and then the descent continued in clouds of volcanic dust, winding in and out among cinder-cones, brick-red, old rose, and purplish black of colour. Above us, higher and higher, towered the crater-walls, while we journeyed on across innumerable lava-flows, turning and twisting a devious way among the adamantine billows of a petrified sea. Saw-toothed waves of lava vexed the surface of this weird ocean, while on either hand arose jagged crests and spiracles of fantastic shape. Our way led on past a bottomless pit and along and over the main stream of the latest lava-flow for seven miles.

We had lunch of jerked beef and hard poi in a stone corral, which was once used for holding cattle overnight when driven across the island. Then we followed the rim for half a mile and started the descent into the crater. Twenty-five hundred feet below was the floor, and we dropped down a steep slope of loose volcanic cinders. The sure-footed horses slipped and slid but always kept their footing. The black surface of the cinders turned into a yellow ochre dust when broken by the horses’ hooves, creating clouds that looked harsh and tasted acidic. We galloped across a flat area to reach a nearby blow-hole, and then we continued down amidst volcanic dust, winding in and out among cinder cones in colors of brick-red, old rose, and purplish black. Above us, the crater walls soared higher and higher as we made our way across countless lava flows, turning and twisting through the solid waves of this petrified sea. Saw-toothed waves of lava disturbed the surface of this bizarre ocean, while jagged crests and uniquely shaped spiracles rose on either side. Our path led us past a bottomless pit and along and over the main stream of the most recent lava flow for seven miles.

At the lower end of the crater was our camping spot, in a small grove of olapa and kolea trees, tucked away in a corner of the crater at the base of walls that rose perpendicularly fifteen hundred feet. Here was pasturage for the horses, but no water, and first we turned aside and picked our way across a mile of lava to a known water-hole in a crevice in the crater-wall. The water-hole was empty. But on climbing fifty feet up the crevice, a pool was found containing half a dozen barrels of water. A pail was carried up, and soon a steady stream of the precious liquid was running down the rock and filling the lower pool, while the cow-boys below were busy fighting the horses back, for there was room for one only to drink at a time. Then it was on to camp at the foot of the wall, up which herds of wild goats scrambled and blatted, while the tent arose to the sound of rifle-firing. Jerked beef, hard poi, and broiled kid were the menu. Over the crest of the crater, just above our heads, rolled a sea of clouds, driven on by Ukiukiu. Though this sea rolled over the crest unceasingly, it never blotted out nor dimmed the moon, for the heat of the crater dissolved the clouds as fast as they rolled in. Through the moonlight, attracted by the camp-fire, came the crater cattle to peer and challenge. They were rolling fat, though they rarely drank water, the morning dew on the grass taking its place. It was because of this dew that the tent made a welcome bedchamber, and we fell asleep to the chanting of hulas by the unwearied Hawaiian cow-boys, in whose veins, no doubt, ran the blood of Maui, their valiant forebear.

At the bottom of the crater was our campsite, in a small grove of olapa and kolea trees, tucked away in a corner at the base of walls that shot up fifteen hundred feet. This area provided grazing for the horses, but there was no water, so we first detoured and navigated a mile of lava to reach a known water-hole in a crack in the crater wall. The water-hole was dry. However, after climbing fifty feet up the crack, we found a pool with about six barrels of water. We carried up a pail, and soon, a steady flow of the precious liquid was running down the rock and filling the lower pool, while the cowboys below struggled to keep the horses back, since there was room for only one to drink at a time. Then we continued on to camp at the foot of the wall, where herds of wild goats scrambled and bleated, while the tent went up amid the sound of rifle shots. Our menu included jerked beef, hard poi, and grilled kid. Over the top of the crater, just above us, a sea of clouds rolled in, pushed along by Ukiukiu. Although this sea continuously flowed over the crest, it never obscured or dimmed the moon, as the heat from the crater dissipated the clouds as quickly as they arrived. In the moonlight, drawn by the campfire, came the crater cattle to peek and challenge. They were plump, even though they rarely drank water, relying instead on the morning dew on the grass. Thanks to this dew, the tent made a welcoming place to sleep, and we fell asleep to the singing of hulas by the tireless Hawaiian cowboys, who surely had the blood of Maui, their brave ancestor, running through their veins.

The camera cannot do justice to the House of the Sun. The sublimated chemistry of photography may not lie, but it certainly does not tell all the truth. The Koolau Gap may be faithfully reproduced, just as it impinged on the retina of the camera, yet in the resulting picture the gigantic scale of things would be missing. Those walls that seem several hundred feet in height are almost as many thousand; that entering wedge of cloud is a mile and a half wide in the gap itself, while beyond the gap it is a veritable ocean; and that foreground of cinder-cone and volcanic ash, mushy and colourless in appearance, is in truth gorgeous-hued in brick-red, terra-cotta rose, yellow ochre, and purplish black. Also, words are a vain thing and drive to despair. To say that a crater-wall is two thousand feet high is to say just precisely that it is two thousand feet high; but there is a vast deal more to that crater-wall than a mere statistic. The sun is ninety-three millions of miles distant, but to mortal conception the adjoining county is farther away. This frailty of the human brain is hard on the sun. It is likewise hard on the House of the Sun. Haleakala has a message of beauty and wonder for the human soul that cannot be delivered by proxy. Kolikoli is six hours from Kahului; Kahului is a night’s run from Honolulu; Honolulu is six days from San Francisco; and there you are.

The camera can't capture the true essence of the House of the Sun. While photography offers a certain truth, it certainly doesn’t reveal everything. The Koolau Gap might be accurately depicted as it appears through the camera, but the immense scale of everything gets lost in the photo. Those walls that look several hundred feet high are actually thousands; that incoming wedge of cloud is a mile and a half wide in the gap itself, and beyond that gap, it’s like an ocean; and that foreground of cinder cone and volcanic ash, dull and colorless in appearance, is actually stunning in brick-red, rosy terra-cotta, yellow ochre, and deep purple-black. Furthermore, words are often useless and can lead to frustration. Saying that a crater wall is two thousand feet high only states a number; there’s so much more to that wall than just that. The sun is ninety-three million miles away, but it feels like the neighboring area is even farther. This limitation of the human mind is tough on the sun. It’s also hard on the House of the Sun. Haleakala carries a message of beauty and wonder for the human spirit that can’t be conveyed through someone else’s words. Kolikoli is six hours from Kahului; Kahului is a night’s travel from Honolulu; Honolulu is six days from San Francisco; and there you have it.

We climbed the crater-walls, put the horses over impossible places, rolled stones, and shot wild goats. I did not get any goats. I was too busy rolling stones. One spot in particular I remember, where we started a stone the size of a horse. It began the descent easy enough, rolling over, wobbling, and threatening to stop; but in a few minutes it was soaring through the air two hundred feet at a jump. It grew rapidly smaller until it struck a slight slope of volcanic sand, over which it darted like a startled jackrabbit, kicking up behind it a tiny trail of yellow dust. Stone and dust diminished in size, until some of the party said the stone had stopped. That was because they could not see it any longer. It had vanished into the distance beyond their ken. Others saw it rolling farther on—I know I did; and it is my firm conviction that that stone is still rolling.

We climbed the crater walls, took the horses through really tricky spots, rolled stones, and shot wild goats. I didn’t get any goats because I was too busy rolling stones. One spot I remember in particular was when we started a stone the size of a horse. It began moving down easily, rolling over, wobbling, and almost stopping; but in a few minutes, it was flying through the air two hundred feet at a time. It quickly shrank in size until it hit a slight slope of volcanic sand, where it darted away like a startled jackrabbit, kicking up a small cloud of yellow dust behind it. The stone and dust got smaller until some of the group said the stone had stopped. That was because they couldn’t see it anymore; it had disappeared into the distance beyond their sight. Others saw it rolling on—I know I did; and I truly believe that stone is still rolling.

Our last day in the crater, Ukiukiu gave us a taste of his strength. He smashed Naulu back all along the line, filled the House of the Sun to overflowing with clouds, and drowned us out. Our rain-gauge was a pint cup under a tiny hole in the tent. That last night of storm and rain filled the cup, and there was no way of measuring the water that spilled over into the blankets. With the rain-gauge out of business there was no longer any reason for remaining; so we broke camp in the wet-gray of dawn, and plunged eastward across the lava to the Kaupo Gap. East Maui is nothing more or less than the vast lava stream that flowed long ago through the Kaupo Gap; and down this stream we picked our way from an altitude of six thousand five hundred feet to the sea. This was a day’s work in itself for the horses; but never were there such horses. Safe in the bad places, never rushing, never losing their heads, as soon as they found a trail wide and smooth enough to run on, they ran. There was no stopping them until the trail became bad again, and then they stopped of themselves. Continuously, for days, they had performed the hardest kind of work, and fed most of the time on grass foraged by themselves at night while we slept, and yet that day they covered twenty-eight leg-breaking miles and galloped into Hana like a bunch of colts. Also, there were several of them, reared in the dry region on the leeward side of Haleakala, that had never worn shoes in all their lives. Day after day, and all day long, unshod, they had travelled over the sharp lava, with the extra weight of a man on their backs, and their hoofs were in better condition than those of the shod horses.

Our last day in the crater, Ukiukiu showed us his strength. He pushed Naulu back along the entire line, filled the House of the Sun to the brim with clouds, and drowned us out. Our rain gauge was a pint cup under a small hole in the tent. That final night of storm and rain filled the cup, and there was no way to measure the water that overflowed into the blankets. With the rain gauge useless, we had no reason to stay; so we packed up in the drizzly gray of dawn and headed east across the lava to the Kaupo Gap. East Maui is just the huge lava flow that once moved through the Kaupo Gap; and down this path, we navigated from an altitude of six thousand five hundred feet to the sea. This was quite a day’s journey for the horses, but they were incredible. They safely handled the tricky spots, never rushed, and kept their cool. As soon as they found a trail wide and smooth enough to run on, they took off. They wouldn’t stop until the path got rough again, and then they would halt on their own. For days, they had done the toughest work, mostly eating grass they found at night while we slept, yet that day they covered twenty-eight grueling miles and galloped into Hana like a bunch of young horses. Several of them, raised in the dry area on the leeward side of Haleakala, had never worn shoes in their lives. Day after day, and all day long, unshod, they traveled over the jagged lava, carrying a rider on their backs, and their hooves were in better shape than those of the shod horses.

The scenery between Vieiras’s (where the Kaupo Gap empties into the sea) and Lana, which we covered in half a day, is well worth a week or month; but, wildly beautiful as it is, it becomes pale and small in comparison with the wonderland that lies beyond the rubber plantations between Hana and the Honomanu Gulch. Two days were required to cover this marvellous stretch, which lies on the windward side of Haleakala. The people who dwell there call it the “ditch country,” an unprepossessing name, but it has no other. Nobody else ever comes there. Nobody else knows anything about it. With the exception of a handful of men, whom business has brought there, nobody has heard of the ditch country of Maui. Now a ditch is a ditch, assumably muddy, and usually traversing uninteresting and monotonous landscapes. But the Nahiku Ditch is not an ordinary ditch. The windward side of Haleakala is serried by a thousand precipitous gorges, down which rush as many torrents, each torrent of which achieves a score of cascades and waterfalls before it reaches the sea. More rain comes down here than in any other region in the world. In 1904 the year’s downpour was four hundred and twenty inches. Water means sugar, and sugar is the backbone of the territory of Hawaii, wherefore the Nahiku Ditch, which is not a ditch, but a chain of tunnels. The water travels underground, appearing only at intervals to leap a gorge, travelling high in the air on a giddy flume and plunging into and through the opposing mountain. This magnificent waterway is called a “ditch,” and with equal appropriateness can Cleopatra’s barge be called a box-car.

The scenery between Vieiras (where the Kaupo Gap flows into the sea) and Lana, which we covered in half a day, is worth spending a week or a month on; but as stunning as it is, it pales in comparison to the wonderland that lies beyond the rubber plantations between Hana and the Honomanu Gulch. It took us two days to explore this incredible stretch, which is on the windward side of Haleakala. The locals call it the “ditch country,” an unappealing name, but that’s all it has. No one else comes here. No one knows anything about it. Aside from a few men who have come for work, hardly anyone has heard of the ditch country of Maui. Now, a ditch is generally just a muddy channel, often running through boring and repetitive landscapes. But the Nahiku Ditch is anything but ordinary. The windward side of Haleakala is cut by a thousand steep gorges, with countless torrents rushing down, each one creating numerous cascades and waterfalls before reaching the sea. This area receives more rainfall than anywhere else in the world. In 1904, the annual rainfall was four hundred and twenty inches. Water means sugar, and sugar is the backbone of Hawaii, which is why the Nahiku Ditch, contrary to its name, is actually a network of tunnels. The water flows underground, surfacing only occasionally to jump across a gorge, soaring high on a thrilling flume and plunging into and through the neighboring mountain. This amazing waterway is called a “ditch,” and just as aptly, Cleopatra’s barge could be called a boxcar.

There are no carriage roads through the ditch country, and before the ditch was built, or bored, rather, there was no horse-trail. Hundreds of inches of rain annually, on fertile soil, under a tropic sun, means a steaming jungle of vegetation. A man, on foot, cutting his way through, might advance a mile a day, but at the end of a week he would be a wreck, and he would have to crawl hastily back if he wanted to get out before the vegetation overran the passage way he had cut. O’Shaughnessy was the daring engineer who conquered the jungle and the gorges, ran the ditch and made the horse-trail. He built enduringly, in concrete and masonry, and made one of the most remarkable water-farms in the world. Every little runlet and dribble is harvested and conveyed by subterranean channels to the main ditch. But so heavily does it rain at times that countless spillways let the surplus escape to the sea.

There are no roads through the swampy areas, and before the ditch was dug, there wasn’t even a horse trail. With hundreds of inches of rain each year on rich soil under a tropical sun, it creates a dense jungle of vegetation. A person on foot trying to push through might only make a mile in a day, but after a week, they would be exhausted and would need to hurry back if they wanted to escape before the plants took over the path they had cleared. O’Shaughnessy was the brave engineer who tamed the jungle and the gorges, created the ditch, and built the horse trail. He constructed everything durably with concrete and masonry, making one of the most impressive water-farms in the world. Every tiny stream and trickle is collected and channeled through underground routes to the main ditch. However, it rains so heavily at times that numerous spillways allow the excess water to flow to the sea.

The horse-trail is not very wide. Like the engineer who built it, it dares anything. Where the ditch plunges through the mountain, it climbs over; and where the ditch leaps a gorge on a flume, the horse-trail takes advantage of the ditch and crosses on top of the flume. That careless trail thinks nothing of travelling up or down the faces of precipices. It gouges its narrow way out of the wall, dodging around waterfalls or passing under them where they thunder down in white fury; while straight overhead the wall rises hundreds of feet, and straight beneath it sinks a thousand. And those marvellous mountain horses are as unconcerned as the trail. They fox-trot along it as a matter of course, though the footing is slippery with rain, and they will gallop with their hind feet slipping over the edge if you let them. I advise only those with steady nerves and cool heads to tackle the Nahiku Ditch trail. One of our cow-boys was noted as the strongest and bravest on the big ranch. He had ridden mountain horses all his life on the rugged western slopes of Haleakala. He was first in the horse-breaking; and when the others hung back, as a matter of course, he would go in to meet a wild bull in the cattle-pen. He had a reputation. But he had never ridden over the Nahiku Ditch. It was there he lost his reputation. When he faced the first flume, spanning a hair-raising gorge, narrow, without railings, with a bellowing waterfall above, another below, and directly beneath a wild cascade, the air filled with driving spray and rocking to the clamour and rush of sound and motion—well, that cow-boy dismounted from his horse, explained briefly that he had a wife and two children, and crossed over on foot, leading the horse behind him.

The horse trail isn't very wide. Like the engineer who created it, it challenges everything. Where the ditch cuts through the mountain, it climbs over; and where the ditch crosses a gorge on a flume, the horse trail takes advantage of the ditch and goes over the flume. That fearless trail doesn't think twice about going up or down steep cliffs. It carves its narrow path out of the rock, dodging waterfalls or passing underneath them as they crash down in white fury; while straight above, the cliff rises hundreds of feet, and straight below it drops a thousand. And those amazing mountain horses are just as unfazed as the trail. They fox-trot along it like it’s nothing, even when the ground is slick with rain, and they'll gallop with their back feet slipping over the edge if you let them. I only recommend the Nahiku Ditch trail to people with steady nerves and calm heads. One of our cowboys was known as the strongest and bravest on the big ranch. He had ridden mountain horses all his life on the rugged western slopes of Haleakala. He was the best at breaking horses, and when others hesitated, he was always the one to confront a wild bull in the cattle pen. He had built a reputation. But he had never ridden over the Nahiku Ditch. That's where he lost his reputation. When he confronted the first flume, spanning a terrifying gorge, narrow and without railings, with a roaring waterfall above, another below, and directly beneath a wild cascade, the air filled with driving spray and vibrating with the chaos and rush of sound and motion—well, that cowboy got off his horse, briefly explained that he had a wife and two kids, and crossed over on foot, leading his horse behind him.

The only relief from the flumes was the precipices; and the only relief from the precipices was the flumes, except where the ditch was far under ground, in which case we crossed one horse and rider at a time, on primitive log-bridges that swayed and teetered and threatened to carry away. I confess that at first I rode such places with my feet loose in the stirrups, and that on the sheer walls I saw to it, by a definite, conscious act of will, that the foot in the outside stirrup, overhanging the thousand feet of fall, was exceedingly loose. I say “at first”; for, as in the crater itself we quickly lost our conception of magnitude, so, on the Nahiku Ditch, we quickly lost our apprehension of depth. The ceaseless iteration of height and depth produced a state of consciousness in which height and depth were accepted as the ordinary conditions of existence; and from the horse’s back to look sheer down four hundred or five hundred feet became quite commonplace and non-productive of thrills. And as carelessly as the trail and the horses, we swung along the dizzy heights and ducked around or through the waterfalls.

The only escape from the flumes was the cliffs, and the only escape from the cliffs was the flumes, except where the ditch was far underground. In those cases, we crossed one horse and rider at a time on basic log bridges that swayed and threatened to collapse. I have to admit that at first, I rode through those areas with my feet loose in the stirrups, and on the sheer walls, I made a conscious effort to keep the foot in the outside stirrup, which was over a thousand-foot drop, extremely loose. I say "at first," because, just as we quickly lost our sense of scale in the crater, we soon lost our fear of depth on the Nahiku Ditch. The constant repetition of height and depth created a state of mind where both were taken as normal conditions of life; looking straight down four hundred or five hundred feet from the horse’s back became quite ordinary and no longer thrilling. And just as carelessly as the trail and the horses, we moved along the dizzy heights, ducking around or through the waterfalls.

And such a ride! Falling water was everywhere. We rode above the clouds, under the clouds, and through the clouds! and every now and then a shaft of sunshine penetrated like a search-light to the depths yawning beneath us, or flashed upon some pinnacle of the crater-rim thousands of feet above. At every turn of the trail a waterfall or a dozen waterfalls, leaping hundreds of feet through the air, burst upon our vision. At our first night’s camp, in the Keanae Gulch, we counted thirty-two waterfalls from a single viewpoint. The vegetation ran riot over that wild land. There were forests of koa and kolea trees, and candlenut trees; and then there were the trees called ohia-ai, which bore red mountain apples, mellow and juicy and most excellent to eat. Wild bananas grew everywhere, clinging to the sides of the gorges, and, overborne by their great bunches of ripe fruit, falling across the trail and blocking the way. And over the forest surged a sea of green life, the climbers of a thousand varieties, some that floated airily, in lacelike filaments, from the tallest branches others that coiled and wound about the trees like huge serpents; and one, the ei-ei, that was for all the world like a climbing palm, swinging on a thick stem from branch to branch and tree to tree and throttling the supports whereby it climbed. Through the sea of green, lofty tree-ferns thrust their great delicate fronds, and the lehua flaunted its scarlet blossoms. Underneath the climbers, in no less profusion, grew the warm-coloured, strangely-marked plants that in the United States one is accustomed to seeing preciously conserved in hot-houses. In fact, the ditch country of Maui is nothing more nor less than a huge conservatory. Every familiar variety of fern flourishes, and more varieties that are unfamiliar, from the tiniest maidenhair to the gross and voracious staghorn, the latter the terror of the woodsmen, interlacing with itself in tangled masses five or six feet deep and covering acres.

And what a ride it was! Waterfalls were everywhere. We traveled above the clouds, below the clouds, and right through them! Every now and then, a beam of sunlight would break through like a spotlight, revealing the depths below us or shining on some peak of the crater rim thousands of feet high. At every turn of the trail, a waterfall or dozens of waterfalls leaped hundreds of feet through the air, catching our eye. At our first night’s camp in Keanae Gulch, we counted thirty-two waterfalls from one viewpoint. The vegetation was wild and lush. There were forests of koa and kolea trees, and candlenut trees; then there were ohia-ai trees, which produced red mountain apples that were ripe, juicy, and delicious to eat. Wild bananas grew everywhere, clinging to the sides of the gorges, and with their heavy bunches of ripe fruit, they would fall across the trail, blocking our way. Over the forest, a sea of green life surged, featuring climbers of a thousand varieties, some floating delicately in lace-like tendrils from the tallest branches, while others coiled around the trees like large serpents. One, the ei-ei, looked just like a climbing palm, swinging on a thick stem from branch to branch and tree to tree, literally choking the supports it climbed. Among the greenery, tall tree ferns thrust their large delicate fronds, and the lehua tree displayed its bright red blossoms. Underneath the climbers, a multitude of vividly colored and uniquely patterned plants thrived, which in the United States are typically seen carefully preserved in greenhouses. In fact, the ditch region of Maui is basically a massive greenhouse. Every well-known fern variety flourished here, along with many unfamiliar ones, from the tiniest maidenhair to the hefty and greedy staghorn, the latter being a nightmare for woodsmen, intertwining in tangled masses five or six feet deep and covering acres.

Never was there such a ride. For two days it lasted, when we emerged into rolling country, and, along an actual wagon-road, came home to the ranch at a gallop. I know it was cruel to gallop the horses after such a long, hard journey; but we blistered our hands in vain effort to hold them in. That’s the sort of horses they grow on Haleakala. At the ranch there was great festival of cattle-driving, branding, and horse-breaking. Overhead Ukiukiu and Naulu battled valiantly, and far above, in the sunshine, towered the mighty summit of Haleakala.

Never was there such a ride. It lasted for two days, and when we finally made it into the rolling countryside, we raced home to the ranch on a real wagon road. I know it was cruel to push the horses after such a long, grueling journey, but we strained our hands in a futile attempt to hold them back. That’s the kind of horses they have on Haleakala. At the ranch, there was a big celebration of cattle-driving, branding, and breaking horses. Above us, Ukiukiu and Naulu fought bravely, and far above, in the sunshine, loomed the majestic summit of Haleakala.

CHAPTER IX
A Journey Across the Pacific

Sandwich Islands to Tahiti.—There is great difficulty in making this passage across the trades. The whalers and all others speak with great doubt of fetching Tahiti from the Sandwich islands. Capt. Bruce says that a vessel should keep to the northward until she gets a start of wind before bearing for her destination. In his passage between them in November, 1837, he had no variables near the line in coming south, and never could make easting on either tack, though he endeavoured by every means to do so.

Sandwich Islands to Tahiti.—It's really challenging to make this trip across the trade winds. The whalers and everyone else express a lot of doubt about reaching Tahiti from the Sandwich Islands. Captain Bruce suggests that a ship should head north until it catches some wind before aiming for its destination. During his journey between the two in November, 1837, he didn’t encounter any variable winds near the equator while traveling south, and he never managed to make any eastward progress on either tack, despite trying everything he could to do so.

So say the sailing directions for the South Pacific Ocean; and that is all they say. There is not a word more to help the weary voyager in making this long traverse—nor is there any word at all concerning the passage from Hawaii to the Marquesas, which lie some eight hundred miles to the northeast of Tahiti and which are the more difficult to reach by just that much. The reason for the lack of directions is, I imagine, that no voyager is supposed to make himself weary by attempting so impossible a traverse. But the impossible did not deter the Snark,—principally because of the fact that we did not read that particular little paragraph in the sailing directions until after we had started. We sailed from Hilo, Hawaii, on October 7, and arrived at Nuka-hiva, in the Marquesas, on December 6. The distance was two thousand miles as the crow flies, while we actually travelled at least four thousand miles to accomplish it, thus proving for once and for ever that the shortest distance between two points is not always a straight line. Had we headed directly for the Marquesas, we might have travelled five or six thousand miles.

So say the sailing directions for the South Pacific Ocean, and that's all they say. There's not a single word more to assist the tired traveler on this long journey—nor is there any mention of the route from Hawaii to the Marquesas, which are about eight hundred miles northeast of Tahiti and are even harder to reach for exactly that reason. The reason for the lack of guidance is probably that no traveler is expected to tire themselves out by attempting such an impossible crossing. But the impossible didn't stop the Snark, mainly because we didn't read that specific paragraph in the sailing directions until after we had set off. We left Hilo, Hawaii, on October 7, and arrived at Nuka-hiva in the Marquesas on December 6. The distance as the crow flies was two thousand miles, but we actually traveled at least four thousand miles to make it, showing once and for all that the shortest distance between two points isn’t always a straight line. If we had gone straight to the Marquesas, we might have traveled five or six thousand miles.

Upon one thing we were resolved: we would not cross the Line west of 130° west longitude. For here was the problem. To cross the Line to the west of that point, if the southeast trades were well around to the southeast, would throw us so far to leeward of the Marquesas that a head-beat would be maddeningly impossible. Also, we had to remember the equatorial current, which moves west at a rate of anywhere from twelve to seventy-five miles a day. A pretty pickle, indeed, to be to leeward of our destination with such a current in our teeth. No; not a minute, nor a second, west of 130° west longitude would we cross the Line. But since the southeast trades were to be expected five or six degrees north of the Line (which, if they were well around to the southeast or south-southeast, would necessitate our sliding off toward south-southwest), we should have to hold to the eastward, north of the Line, and north of the southeast trades, until we gained at least 128° west longitude.

We were all agreed on one thing: we wouldn’t cross the Line west of 130° west longitude. Here was the issue. If we crossed the Line west of that point, and if the southeast trades were strong from the southeast, we would end up so far downwind from the Marquesas that fighting our way back would be incredibly frustrating. We also had to consider the equatorial current, which flows west at speeds ranging from twelve to seventy-five miles a day. It would be quite a dilemma to be downwind of our destination with such a current against us. So, not for a minute or a second would we cross the Line west of 130° west longitude. However, since we expected the southeast trades to be five or six degrees north of the Line (and if they were coming from around southeast or south-southeast, we’d have to head south-southwest), we would need to stay to the east, north of the Line and the southeast trades, until we reached at least 128° west longitude.

I have forgotten to mention that the seventy-horse-power gasolene engine, as usual, was not working, and that we could depend upon wind alone. Neither was the launch engine working. And while I am about it, I may as well confess that the five-horse-power, which ran the lights, fans, and pumps, was also on the sick-list. A striking title for a book haunts me, waking and sleeping. I should like to write that book some day and to call it “Around the World with Three Gasolene Engines and a Wife.” But I am afraid I shall not write it, for fear of hurting the feelings of some of the young gentlemen of San Francisco, Honolulu, and Hilo, who learned their trades at the expense of the Snark’s engines.

I forgot to mention that the seventy-horsepower gasoline engine wasn’t working, as usual, so we had to rely only on the wind. The launch engine was also out of commission. While I’m at it, I may as well admit that the five-horsepower engine, which powered the lights, fans, and pumps, was also down. A catchy title for a book keeps popping into my head, both day and night. I’d love to write that book someday and call it “Around the World with Three Gasoline Engines and a Wife.” But I’m worried I might hurt the feelings of some of the young men from San Francisco, Honolulu, and Hilo, who learned their skills at the expense of the Snark’s engines.

It looked easy on paper. Here was Hilo and there was our objective, 128° west longitude. With the northeast trade blowing we could travel a straight line between the two points, and even slack our sheets off a goodly bit. But one of the chief troubles with the trades is that one never knows just where he will pick them up and just in what direction they will be blowing. We picked up the northeast trade right outside of Hilo harbour, but the miserable breeze was away around into the east. Then there was the north equatorial current setting westward like a mighty river. Furthermore, a small boat, by the wind and bucking into a big headsea, does not work to advantage. She jogs up and down and gets nowhere. Her sails are full and straining, every little while she presses her lee-rail under, she flounders, and bumps, and splashes, and that is all. Whenever she begins to gather way, she runs ker-chug into a big mountain of water and is brought to a standstill. So, with the Snark, the resultant of her smallness, of the trade around into the east, and of the strong equatorial current, was a long sag south. Oh, she did not go quite south. But the easting she made was distressing. On October 11, she made forty miles easting; October 12, fifteen miles; October 13, no easting; October 14, thirty miles; October 15, twenty-three miles; October 16, eleven miles; and on October 17, she actually went to the westward four miles. Thus, in a week she made one hundred and fifteen miles easting, which was equivalent to sixteen miles a day. But, between the longitude of Hilo and 128° west longitude is a difference of twenty-seven degrees, or, roughly, sixteen hundred miles. At sixteen miles a day, one hundred days would be required to accomplish this distance. And even then, our objective, 128° west longitude, was five degrees north of the Line, while Nuka-hiva, in the Marquesas, lay nine degrees south of the Line and twelve degrees to the west!

It looked easy on paper. Here was Hilo and there was our goal, 128° west longitude. With the northeast trade winds blowing, we could travel in a straight line between the two points and even ease our sails a bit. But one of the main issues with the trade winds is that you never know exactly where you'll catch them or in which direction they'll be blowing. We picked up the northeast trade right outside Hilo harbor, but the annoying breeze was coming from the east. Then there was the north equatorial current pushing westward like a powerful river. Moreover, a small boat, when bucking into big waves, doesn’t perform well. It bobs up and down and goes nowhere. Its sails are full and straining, and every now and then, it tips its lee rail under, it flounders, bumps, and splashes, and that’s it. Whenever it starts to gain some speed, it crashes into a big wave and is brought to a halt. So, with the Snark, the combination of its small size, the trade winds shifting to the east, and the strong equatorial current resulted in a long drift southward. Oh, it didn’t go completely south. But the eastward progress it made was frustrating. On October 11, it made forty miles east; October 12, fifteen miles; October 13, no eastward progress; October 14, thirty miles; October 15, twenty-three miles; October 16, eleven miles; and on October 17, it actually went four miles west. In total, in a week, it made one hundred and fifteen miles east, which averages out to sixteen miles a day. However, between Hilo and 128° west longitude is a difference of twenty-seven degrees, or roughly sixteen hundred miles. At sixteen miles a day, it would take one hundred days to cover that distance. And even then, our target, 128° west longitude, was five degrees north of the Equator, while Nuka-hiva in the Marquesas was located nine degrees south of the Equator and twelve degrees to the west!

There remained only one thing to do—to work south out of the trade and into the variables. It is true that Captain Bruce found no variables on his traverse, and that he “never could make easting on either tack.” It was the variables or nothing with us, and we prayed for better luck than he had had. The variables constitute the belt of ocean lying between the trades and the doldrums, and are conjectured to be the draughts of heated air which rise in the doldrums, flow high in the air counter to the trades, and gradually sink down till they fan the surface of the ocean where they are found. And they are found where they are found; for they are wedged between the trades and the doldrums, which same shift their territory from day to day and month to month.

There was only one thing left to do—to sail south out of the trade winds and into the variables. It's true that Captain Bruce didn’t encounter any variables on his journey, and he “never could make easting on either tack.” For us, it was either the variables or nothing, and we hoped for better luck than he had. The variables are the area of ocean between the trade winds and the doldrums, and they’re believed to be the hot air currents that rise in the doldrums, flow high against the trade winds, and gradually sink until they reach the ocean surface. And they show up where they show up; they’re squeezed between the trade winds and the doldrums, which change their location from day to day and month to month.

We found the variables in 11° north latitude, and 11° north latitude we hugged jealously. To the south lay the doldrums. To the north lay the northeast trade that refused to blow from the northeast. The days came and went, and always they found the Snark somewhere near the eleventh parallel. The variables were truly variable. A light head-wind would die away and leave us rolling in a calm for forty-eight hours. Then a light head-wind would spring up, blow for three hours, and leave us rolling in another calm for forty-eight hours. Then—hurrah!—the wind would come out of the west, fresh, beautifully fresh, and send the Snark along, wing and wing, her wake bubbling, the log-line straight astern. At the end of half an hour, while we were preparing to set the spinnaker, with a few sickly gasps the wind would die away. And so it went. We wagered optimistically on every favourable fan of air that lasted over five minutes; but it never did any good. The fans faded out just the same.

We found the variables at 11° north latitude, and we clung to 11° north latitude with great care. To the south were the doldrums. To the north was the northeast trade that refused to blow from the northeast. Days passed by, and we always found the Snark somewhere near the eleventh parallel. The variables were truly unpredictable. A gentle headwind would die out and leave us rolling in calm for forty-eight hours. Then a light headwind would pick up, blow for three hours, and leave us rolling in yet another calm for forty-eight hours. Then—yay!—the wind would come from the west, fresh and wonderfully strong, sending the Snark along with her sails full, her wake bubbling, the log-line straight behind us. After half an hour, just as we were getting ready to put up the spinnaker, the wind would fade away with a few weak breaths. And that’s how it went. We optimistically bet on every favorable gust of wind that lasted more than five minutes, but it never made a difference. The gusts faded out just the same.

But there were exceptions. In the variables, if you wait long enough, something is bound to happen, and we were so plentifully stocked with food and water that we could afford to wait. On October 26, we actually made one hundred and three miles of easting, and we talked about it for days afterwards. Once we caught a moderate gale from the south, which blew itself out in eight hours, but it helped us to seventy-one miles of easting in that particular twenty-four hours. And then, just as it was expiring, the wind came straight out from the north (the directly opposite quarter), and fanned us along over another degree of easting.

But there were exceptions. In the variables, if you wait long enough, something is bound to happen, and we had so much food and water that we could afford to wait. On October 26, we actually covered one hundred and three miles eastward, and we talked about it for days afterward. Once we encountered a moderate gale from the south, which lasted for eight hours, but it helped us gain seventy-one miles eastward in that twenty-four-hour period. Then, just as it was fading away, the wind shifted straight out from the north (the exact opposite direction) and pushed us along for another degree of eastward travel.

In years and years no sailing vessel has attempted this traverse, and we found ourselves in the midst of one of the loneliest of the Pacific solitudes. In the sixty days we were crossing it we sighted no sail, lifted no steamer’s smoke above the horizon. A disabled vessel could drift in this deserted expanse for a dozen generations, and there would be no rescue. The only chance of rescue would be from a vessel like the Snark, and the Snark happened to be there principally because of the fact that the traverse had been begun before the particular paragraph in the sailing directions had been read. Standing upright on deck, a straight line drawn from the eye to the horizon would measure three miles and a half. Thus, seven miles was the diameter of the circle of the sea in which we had our centre. Since we remained always in the centre, and since we constantly were moving in some direction, we looked upon many circles. But all circles looked alike. No tufted islets, gray headlands, nor glistening patches of white canvas ever marred the symmetry of that unbroken curve. Clouds came and went, rising up over the rim of the circle, flowing across the space of it, and spilling away and down across the opposite rim.

For many years, no sailing ship has attempted this journey, and we found ourselves in the heart of one of the most isolated areas of the Pacific. During the sixty days it took us to cross, we saw no sails and didn’t spot any steamers’ smoke on the horizon. A stranded ship could drift in this empty stretch for generations and still not be rescued. The only chance for help would come from a vessel like the Snark, which was there mainly because we had started the journey before carefully reading that part of the sailing directions. Standing upright on deck, a straight line from my eye to the horizon measured three and a half miles. So, the diameter of the circle of ocean around us was seven miles. Since we always remained in the center and were constantly moving in some direction, we observed many circles. But all the circles looked the same. There were no lush islands, no gray cliffs, and no shining patches of white sails to disrupt the smooth curve of the water. Clouds would come and go, rising over the edge of the circle, flowing across the space, and then spilling down and away over the opposite edge.

The world faded as the procession of the weeks marched by. The world faded until at last there ceased to be any world except the little world of the Snark, freighted with her seven souls and floating on the expanse of the waters. Our memories of the world, the great world, became like dreams of former lives we had lived somewhere before we came to be born on the Snark. After we had been out of fresh vegetables for some time, we mentioned such things in much the same way I have heard my father mention the vanished apples of his boyhood. Man is a creature of habit, and we on the Snark had got the habit of the Snark. Everything about her and aboard her was as a matter of course, and anything different would have been an irritation and an offence.

The world faded as the weeks went by. The world faded until there was no world left except the little world of the Snark, carrying her seven souls and floating on the vast waters. Our memories of the big world felt like dreams of past lives we had lived somewhere before we were born on the Snark. After we ran out of fresh vegetables for a while, we talked about them like I’ve heard my father talk about the apples from his childhood that no longer existed. People are creatures of habit, and we on the Snark had adapted to the ways of the Snark. Everything about her and on board felt completely normal, and anything different would have been annoying and unacceptable.

There was no way by which the great world could intrude. Our bell rang the hours, but no caller ever rang it. There were no guests to dinner, no telegrams, no insistent telephone jangles invading our privacy. We had no engagements to keep, no trains to catch, and there were no morning newspapers over which to waste time in learning what was happening to our fifteen hundred million other fellow-creatures.

There was no way for the outside world to break in. Our bell rang the hours, but no one ever used it. There were no dinner guests, no telegrams, no annoying phone calls disrupting our peace. We had no appointments to attend, no trains to catch, and no morning newspapers to waste time on learning about what was happening to our fifteen hundred million fellow humans.

But it was not dull. The affairs of our little world had to be regulated, and, unlike the great world, our world had to be steered in its journey through space. Also, there were cosmic disturbances to be encountered and baffled, such as do not afflict the big earth in its frictionless orbit through the windless void. And we never knew, from moment to moment, what was going to happen next. There were spice and variety enough and to spare. Thus, at four in the morning, I relieve Hermann at the wheel.

But it wasn’t boring. The happenings in our small world had to be managed, and, unlike the larger world, ours had to navigate through space. Plus, there were cosmic disturbances to deal with that didn’t affect the big Earth in its smooth orbit through the still void. And we never knew from one moment to the next what would happen next. There was plenty of excitement and variety. So, at four in the morning, I took over from Hermann at the wheel.

“East-northeast,” he gives me the course. “She’s eight points off, but she ain’t steering.”

“East-northeast,” he tells me the direction. “She’s eight points off, but she isn’t steering.”

Small wonder. The vessel does not exist that can be steered in so absolute a calm.

Small wonder. There's no boat that can be steered in such complete calm.

“I had a breeze a little while ago—maybe it will come back again,” Hermann says hopefully, ere he starts forward to the cabin and his bunk.

“I felt a breeze a little while ago—hopefully it will come back,” Hermann says optimistically as he heads toward the cabin and his bunk.

The mizzen is in and fast furled. In the night, what of the roll and the absence of wind, it had made life too hideous to be permitted to go on rasping at the mast, smashing at the tackles, and buffeting the empty air into hollow outbursts of sound. But the big mainsail is still on, and the staysail, jib, and flying-jib are snapping and slashing at their sheets with every roll. Every star is out. Just for luck I put the wheel hard over in the opposite direction to which it had been left by Hermann, and I lean back and gaze up at the stars. There is nothing else for me to do. There is nothing to be done with a sailing vessel rolling in a stark calm.

The mizzen is in and tightly secured. During the night, the rolling and lack of wind made everything unbearable, the sounds scraping at the mast, slamming at the rigging, and making hollow noises in the empty air. But the large mainsail is still up, and the staysail, jib, and flying-jib are flapping and tugging at their sheets with each roll. Every star is visible. Just for luck, I turn the wheel hard in the opposite direction from where Hermann had left it, and I lean back to watch the stars. There’s nothing else for me to do. There’s nothing to be done with a sailing vessel rolling in complete calm.

Then I feel a fan on my cheek, faint, so faint, that I can just sense it ere it is gone. But another comes, and another, until a real and just perceptible breeze is blowing. How the Snark’s sails manage to feel it is beyond me, but feel it they do, as she does as well, for the compass card begins slowly to revolve in the binnacle. In reality, it is not revolving at all. It is held by terrestrial magnetism in one place, and it is the Snark that is revolving, pivoted upon that delicate cardboard device that floats in a closed vessel of alcohol.

Then I feel a light breeze on my cheek, so faint that I can barely notice it before it disappears. But then another breeze comes, and another, until a real, noticeable wind starts blowing. How the Snark's sails can feel it is a mystery to me, but they definitely do, just like she does, because the compass card starts to slowly spin in the binnacle. In reality, it's not spinning at all. It’s held in place by terrestrial magnetism, and it's the Snark that's rotating, pivoted on that delicate cardboard device floating in a sealed container of alcohol.

So the Snark comes back on her course. The breath increases to a tiny puff. The Snark feels the weight of it and actually heels over a trifle. There is flying scud overhead, and I notice the stars being blotted out. Walls of darkness close in upon me, so that, when the last star is gone, the darkness is so near that it seems I can reach out and touch it on every side. When I lean toward it, I can feel it loom against my face. Puff follows puff, and I am glad the mizzen is furled. Phew! that was a stiff one! The Snark goes over and down until her lee-rail is buried and the whole Pacific Ocean is pouring in. Four or five of these gusts make me wish that the jib and flying-jib were in. The sea is picking up, the gusts are growing stronger and more frequent, and there is a splatter of wet in the air. There is no use in attempting to gaze to windward. The wall of blackness is within arm’s length. Yet I cannot help attempting to see and gauge the blows that are being struck at the Snark. There is something ominous and menacing up there to windward, and I have a feeling that if I look long enough and strong enough, I shall divine it. Futile feeling. Between two gusts I leave the wheel and run forward to the cabin companionway, where I light matches and consult the barometer. “29-90” it reads. That sensitive instrument refuses to take notice of the disturbance which is humming with a deep, throaty voice in the rigging. I get back to the wheel just in time to meet another gust, the strongest yet. Well, anyway, the wind is abeam and the Snark is on her course, eating up easting. That at least is well.

So the Snark comes back on her course. The wind picks up to a light puff. The Snark feels the weight of it and actually tips over a bit. There’s some fast-moving clouds above, and I notice the stars getting blocked out. Walls of darkness close in around me, so that when the last star disappears, the darkness feels so close I could almost reach out and touch it on every side. When I lean toward it, I can feel it pressing against my face. Puff after puff comes, and I’m glad the mizzen is furled. Wow! that was a strong one! The Snark leans over and down until her leeward rail is buried and the entire Pacific Ocean is coming in. After four or five of these gusts, I wish the jib and flying-jib were down. The sea is rising, the gusts are getting stronger and more frequent, and there are splashes of water in the air. There’s no point in trying to look into the wind. The black wall is just an arm’s length away. Still, I can’t help trying to see and gauge the hits that are being dealt to the Snark. There’s something ominous and threatening up there to windward, and I feel that if I look long and hard enough, I’ll figure it out. A pointless thought. Between gusts, I leave the wheel and rush forward to the cabin companionway, where I light matches and check the barometer. “29-90” it reads. That sensitive instrument refuses to acknowledge the disturbance that’s humming with a deep, throaty sound in the rigging. I return to the wheel just in time to face another gust, the strongest one yet. Well, at least the wind is coming from the side and the Snark is on her course, making good progress eastward. That’s something.

The jib and flying-jib bother me, and I wish they were in. She would make easier weather of it, and less risky weather likewise. The wind snorts, and stray raindrops pelt like birdshot. I shall certainly have to call all hands, I conclude; then conclude the next instant to hang on a little longer. Maybe this is the end of it, and I shall have called them for nothing. It is better to let them sleep. I hold the Snark down to her task, and from out of the darkness, at right angles, comes a deluge of rain accompanied by shrieking wind. Then everything eases except the blackness, and I rejoice in that I have not called the men.

The jib and flying-jib worry me, and I wish they were up. It would make things easier and less risky. The wind howls, and random raindrops hit like birdshot. I definitely need to call everyone, I think; then in the next moment, I decide to hang on a bit longer. Maybe this is the end of it, and I would have called them for nothing. It's better to let them sleep. I keep the Snark on course, and suddenly, from the darkness, a downpour of rain hits, along with a screaming wind. Then everything calms down except for the darkness, and I’m relieved that I didn’t wake the crew.

No sooner does the wind ease than the sea picks up. The combers are breaking now, and the boat is tossing like a cork. Then out of the blackness the gusts come harder and faster than before. If only I knew what was up there to windward in the blackness! The Snark is making heavy weather of it, and her lee-rail is buried oftener than not. More shrieks and snorts of wind. Now, if ever, is the time to call the men. I will call them, I resolve. Then there is a burst of rain, a slackening of the wind, and I do not call. But it is rather lonely, there at the wheel, steering a little world through howling blackness. It is quite a responsibility to be all alone on the surface of a little world in time of stress, doing the thinking for its sleeping inhabitants. I recoil from the responsibility as more gusts begin to strike and as a sea licks along the weather rail and splashes over into the cockpit. The salt water seems strangely warm to my body and is shot through with ghostly nodules of phosphorescent light. I shall surely call all hands to shorten sail. Why should they sleep? I am a fool to have any compunctions in the matter. My intellect is arrayed against my heart. It was my heart that said, “Let them sleep.” Yes, but it was my intellect that backed up my heart in that judgment. Let my intellect then reverse the judgment; and, while I am speculating as to what particular entity issued that command to my intellect, the gusts die away. Solicitude for mere bodily comfort has no place in practical seamanship, I conclude sagely; but study the feel of the next series of gusts and do not call the men. After all, it is my intellect, behind everything, procrastinating, measuring its knowledge of what the Snark can endure against the blows being struck at her, and waiting the call of all hands against the striking of still severer blows.

No sooner does the wind calm down than the sea starts to pick up. The waves are crashing now, and the boat is bouncing like a cork. Then, out of the darkness, the gusts come harder and faster than before. If only I knew what was up there to windward in the dark! The Snark is struggling against it, and her lee-rail is often submerged. More howls and snorts of wind. Now, if ever, is the time to call the crew. I will call them, I decide. Then there's a sudden downpour, the wind eases, and I don't call. But it feels quite lonely, standing at the wheel, steering a small world through the howling darkness. It’s a big responsibility to be all alone on the surface of a little world during a tough time, thinking for its sleeping inhabitants. I shrink back from the responsibility as more gusts start to hit and the sea washes over the weather rail and splashes into the cockpit. The saltwater feels strangely warm against my skin and is filled with ghostly specks of phosphorescent light. I really should call the crew to shorten the sails. Why should they be sleeping? I’m silly to have any doubts about it. My mind is at odds with my heart. It was my heart that said, “Let them sleep.” Yes, but it was my mind that supported my heart in that decision. Let my mind then change the decision; and while I wonder what specific entity gave that command to my mind, the gusts slowly fade. I conclude wisely that concern for mere physical comfort has no place in practical seamanship; instead, I focus on the feel of the next series of gusts and don’t call the crew. After all, it is my mind, behind everything, delaying, measuring what the Snark can withstand against the force hitting her, and waiting to call the crew when even stronger blows come.

Daylight, gray and violent, steals through the cloud-pall and shows a foaming sea that flattens under the weight of recurrent and increasing squalls. Then comes the rain, filling the windy valleys of the sea with milky smoke and further flattening the waves, which but wait for the easement of wind and rain to leap more wildly than before. Come the men on deck, their sleep out, and among them Hermann, his face on the broad grin in appreciation of the breeze of wind I have picked up. I turn the wheel over to Warren and start to go below, pausing on the way to rescue the galley stovepipe which has gone adrift. I am barefooted, and my toes have had an excellent education in the art of clinging; but, as the rail buries itself in a green sea, I suddenly sit down on the streaming deck. Hermann good-naturedly elects to question my selection of such a spot. Then comes the next roll, and he sits down, suddenly, and without premeditation. The Snark heels over and down, the rail takes it green, and Hermann and I, clutching the precious stove-pipe, are swept down into the lee-scuppers. After that I finish my journey below, and while changing my clothes grin with satisfaction—the Snark is making easting.

Daylight, gray and violent, breaks through the clouds and reveals a churning sea that flattens under the pressure of intense and increasing squalls. Then comes the rain, filling the windy valleys of the sea with milky mist and further smoothing the waves, which only wait for the wind and rain to relax so they can surge more wildly than before. The men come on deck, fully awake now, and among them is Hermann, grinning broadly as he enjoys the fresh breeze I've caught. I hand the wheel over to Warren and start to head below, stopping along the way to grab the galley stovepipe that has come loose. I'm barefoot, and my toes have learned how to cling well; but as the rail plunges into a green wave, I suddenly sit down on the wet deck. Hermann good-naturedly decides to question my choice of such a spot. Then the boat rolls again, and he unexpectedly drops down beside me. The Snark tilts over, the rail goes under, and Hermann and I, holding on to the precious stove-pipe, are pushed down into the scuppers. After that, I finally make my way below, and while changing my clothes, I smile with satisfaction—the Snark is heading east.

No, it is not all monotony. When we had worried along our easting to 126° west longitude, we left the variables and headed south through the doldrums, where was much calm weather and where, taking advantage of every fan of air, we were often glad to make a score of miles in as many hours. And yet, on such a day, we might pass through a dozen squalls and be surrounded by dozens more. And every squall was to be regarded as a bludgeon capable of crushing the Snark. We were struck sometimes by the centres and sometimes by the sides of these squalls, and we never knew just where or how we were to be hit. The squall that rose up, covering half the heavens, and swept down upon us, as likely as not split into two squalls which passed us harmlessly on either side while the tiny, innocent looking squall that appeared to carry no more than a hogshead of water and a pound of wind, would abruptly assume cyclopean proportions, deluging us with rain and overwhelming us with wind. Then there were treacherous squalls that went boldly astern and sneaked back upon us from a mile to leeward. Again, two squalls would tear along, one on each side of us, and we would get a fillip from each of them. Now a gale certainly grows tiresome after a few hours, but squalls never. The thousandth squall in one’s experience is as interesting as the first one, and perhaps a bit more so. It is the tyro who has no apprehension of them. The man of a thousand squalls respects a squall. He knows what they are.

No, it’s not all dull. When we navigated east to 126° west longitude, we left behind the variables and headed south through the doldrums, where the weather was mostly calm and we often managed to cover a few miles in just a few hours, taking advantage of every little breeze. Yet, on such a day, we might encounter a dozen squalls and be surrounded by many more. Each squall felt like a hammer that could crush the Snark. Sometimes we got hit by the center of these squalls, and other times by their edges, never knowing exactly where or how we would be struck. The squall that arose, covering half the sky and swept down upon us, was likely to split into two squalls that passed harmlessly on either side while the small, innocent-looking squall that seemed to carry just a barrel of water and a little wind would suddenly swell into enormous proportions, drenching us with rain and overpowering us with wind. Then there were sneaky squalls that appeared to come from behind and hit us from a mile away to leeward. Again, two squalls would rush by, one on each side of us, giving us a jolt from each. A gale definitely becomes tiresome after a few hours, but squalls never do. The thousandth squall in one’s experience is as interesting as the first, maybe even a bit more so. It’s the novice who is clueless about them. The person who has faced countless squalls knows to respect them. He understands what they are.

It was in the doldrums that our most exciting event occurred. On November 20, we discovered that through an accident we had lost over one-half of the supply of fresh water that remained to us. Since we were at that time forty-three days out from Hilo, our supply of fresh water was not large. To lose over half of it was a catastrophe. On close allowance, the remnant of water we possessed would last twenty days. But we were in the doldrums; there was no telling where the southeast trades were, nor where we would pick them up.

It was during the calm seas that our most exciting event happened. On November 20, we found out that due to an accident, we had lost more than half of the fresh water supply we had left. Since we were forty-three days out from Hilo at that time, our fresh water supply wasn’t large to begin with. Losing over half of it was a disaster. If we rationed it carefully, the remaining water we had would last us twenty days. But we were stuck in the calm seas; there was no way to know where the southeast trade winds were, or when we would catch them.

The handcuffs were promptly put upon the pump, and once a day the water was portioned out. Each of us received a quart for personal use, and eight quarts were given to the cook. Enters now the psychology of the situation. No sooner had the discovery of the water shortage been made than I, for one, was afflicted with a burning thirst. It seemed to me that I had never been so thirsty in my life. My little quart of water I could easily have drunk in one draught, and to refrain from doing so required a severe exertion of will. Nor was I alone in this. All of us talked water, thought water, and dreamed water when we slept. We examined the charts for possible islands to which to run in extremity, but there were no such islands. The Marquesas were the nearest, and they were the other side of the Line, and of the doldrums, too, which made it even worse. We were in 3° north latitude, while the Marquesas were 9° south latitude—a difference of over a thousand miles. Furthermore, the Marquesas lay some fourteen degrees to the west of our longitude. A pretty pickle for a handful of creatures sweltering on the ocean in the heat of tropic calms.

The handcuffs were quickly placed on the pump, and once a day, the water was distributed. Each of us got a quart for personal use, and the cook received eight quarts. Now, let’s talk about the psychology of the situation. As soon as we realized there was a water shortage, I, for one, was hit with an intense thirst. It felt like I had never been this thirsty in my life. I could have easily gulped down my quart of water in one go, and it took strong willpower to hold back. I wasn’t alone in this; we all talked about water, thought about water, and even dreamed about water while we slept. We looked at charts for any possible islands we could reach in an emergency, but there were none. The Marquesas were the closest, but they were on the other side of the Line and the doldrums, which made it even worse. We were at 3° north latitude, while the Marquesas were at 9° south latitude—a distance of over a thousand miles. Plus, the Marquesas were about fourteen degrees west of our longitude. Quite a dilemma for a few creatures suffering in the heat of the tropical calm on the ocean.

We rigged lines on either side between the main and mizzen riggings. To these we laced the big deck awning, hoisting it up aft with a sailing pennant so that any rain it might collect would run forward where it could be caught. Here and there squalls passed across the circle of the sea. All day we watched them, now to port or starboard, and again ahead or astern. But never one came near enough to wet us. In the afternoon a big one bore down upon us. It spread out across the ocean as it approached, and we could see it emptying countless thousands of gallons into the salt sea. Extra attention was paid to the awning and then we waited. Warren, Martin, and Hermann made a vivid picture. Grouped together, holding on to the rigging, swaying to the roll, they were gazing intently at the squall. Strain, anxiety, and yearning were in every posture of their bodies. Beside them was the dry and empty awning. But they seemed to grow limp and to droop as the squall broke in half, one part passing on ahead, the other drawing astern and going to leeward.

We set up lines on both sides between the main and mizzen riggings. We attached the large deck awning to these, raising it at the back with a sailing flag so that any rain it collected would flow forward where it could be captured. Now and then, squalls swept across the sea. All day we kept an eye on them, shifting our gaze from the left to the right, and sometimes ahead or behind. But none came close enough to drench us. In the afternoon, a big squall came toward us. It spread out over the ocean as it approached, and we could see it releasing countless gallons into the salty sea. We paid extra attention to the awning and then waited. Warren, Martin, and Hermann made a striking scene. Huddled together, holding onto the rigging and swaying with the roll, they were focused intently on the squall. Tension, worry, and longing were evident in every posture of their bodies. Next to them was the dry, empty awning. But they seemed to grow weak and sag as the squall split in two, with one part moving ahead and the other drifting behind and to the leeward.

But that night came rain. Martin, whose psychological thirst had compelled him to drink his quart of water early, got his mouth down to the lip of the awning and drank the deepest draught I ever have seen drunk. The precious water came down in bucketfuls and tubfuls, and in two hours we caught and stored away in the tanks one hundred and twenty gallons. Strange to say, in all the rest of our voyage to the Marquesas not another drop of rain fell on board. If that squall had missed us, the handcuffs would have remained on the pump, and we would have busied ourselves with utilizing our surplus gasolene for distillation purposes.

But that night it rained. Martin, whose intense thirst had driven him to drink his quart of water early, leaned down to the edge of the awning and took the biggest gulp I’ve ever seen someone take. The precious water poured down in bucketfuls and tubfuls, and in two hours we collected and stored away one hundred and twenty gallons in the tanks. Strange as it seems, for the rest of our voyage to the Marquesas, not a single drop of rain fell on board. If that squall had missed us, the handcuffs would have stayed on the pump, and we would have focused on using our excess gasoline for distillation.

Then there was the fishing. One did not have to go in search of it, for it was there at the rail. A three-inch steel hook, on the end of a stout line, with a piece of white rag for bait, was all that was necessary to catch bonitas weighing from ten to twenty-five pounds. Bonitas feed on flying-fish, wherefore they are unaccustomed to nibbling at the hook. They strike as gamely as the gamest fish in the sea, and their first run is something that no man who has ever caught them will forget. Also, bonitas are the veriest cannibals. The instant one is hooked he is attacked by his fellows. Often and often we hauled them on board with fresh, clean-bitten holes in them the size of teacups.

Then there was the fishing. You didn't need to look for it; it was right there at the rail. A three-inch steel hook, attached to a strong line, with a piece of white rag for bait, was all you needed to catch bonitas weighing between ten and twenty-five pounds. Bonitas eat flying fish, so they're not used to nibbling on hooks. They fight as fiercely as the toughest fish in the sea, and their first run is something no one who has ever caught one will forget. Plus, bonitas are the biggest cannibals. As soon as one is hooked, it's attacked by its teammates. Time and again, we pulled them on board with fresh, bite-sized holes in them the size of teacups.

One school of bonitas, numbering many thousands, stayed with us day and night for more than three weeks. Aided by the Snark, it was great hunting; for they cut a swath of destruction through the ocean half a mile wide and fifteen hundred miles in length. They ranged along abreast of the Snark on either side, pouncing upon the flying-fish her forefoot scared up. Since they were continually pursuing astern the flying-fish that survived for several flights, they were always overtaking the Snark, and at any time one could glance astern and on the front of a breaking wave see scores of their silvery forms coasting down just under the surface. When they had eaten their fill, it was their delight to get in the shadow of the boat, or of her sails, and a hundred or so were always to be seen lazily sliding along and keeping cool.

One school of bonitas, numbering in the thousands, stayed with us day and night for over three weeks. Thanks to the Snark, it was amazing hunting; they created a path of destruction through the ocean half a mile wide and fifteen hundred miles long. They swam alongside the Snark on both sides, diving for the flying fish that her forefoot scared up. Since they were constantly chasing the flying fish that managed to escape for a few jumps, they were always catching up to the Snark, and at any moment, you could look back and see dozens of their silvery bodies gliding just beneath the surface of a breaking wave. Once they had eaten enough, they loved to get into the shadow of the boat or its sails, and a hundred or so could always be seen lazily gliding along to stay cool.

But the poor flying-fish! Pursued and eaten alive by the bonitas and dolphins, they sought flight in the air, where the swooping seabirds drove them back into the water. Under heaven there was no refuge for them. Flying-fish do not play when they essay the air. It is a life-and-death affair with them. A thousand times a day we could lift our eyes and see the tragedy played out. The swift, broken circling of a guny might attract one’s attention. A glance beneath shows the back of a dolphin breaking the surface in a wild rush. Just in front of its nose a shimmering palpitant streak of silver shoots from the water into the air—a delicate, organic mechanism of flight, endowed with sensation, power of direction, and love of life. The guny swoops for it and misses, and the flying-fish, gaining its altitude by rising, kite-like, against the wind, turns in a half-circle and skims off to leeward, gliding on the bosom of the wind. Beneath it, the wake of the dolphin shows in churning foam. So he follows, gazing upward with large eyes at the flashing breakfast that navigates an element other than his own. He cannot rise to so lofty occasion, but he is a thorough-going empiricist, and he knows, sooner or later, if not gobbled up by the guny, that the flying-fish must return to the water. And then—breakfast. We used to pity the poor winged fish. It was sad to see such sordid and bloody slaughter. And then, in the night watches, when a forlorn little flying-fish struck the mainsail and fell gasping and splattering on the deck, we would rush for it just as eagerly, just as greedily, just as voraciously, as the dolphins and bonitas. For know that flying-fish are most toothsome for breakfast. It is always a wonder to me that such dainty meat does not build dainty tissue in the bodies of the devourers. Perhaps the dolphins and bonitas are coarser-fibred because of the high speed at which they drive their bodies in order to catch their prey. But then again, the flying-fish drive their bodies at high speed, too.

But those poor flying fish! Chased and eaten alive by the bonito and dolphins, they tried to escape into the air, but the swooping seabirds forced them back into the water. Under the open sky, there was no refuge for them. Flying fish don’t just mess around when they try to fly. It’s a matter of life and death for them. A thousand times a day, we could look up and see this tragedy unfold. The quick, erratic circling of a guny might catch your eye. A glance below reveals the back of a dolphin breaking the surface in a wild rush. Just in front of its nose, a shimmering silver streak leaps out of the water into the air—a delicate, living machine of flight, filled with sensation, direction, and love for life. The guny dives for it and misses, and the flying fish, gaining altitude by rising like a kite against the wind, turns in a half-circle and glides away, riding the wind. Below it, the dolphin's wake churns in foam. So it follows, looking up with wide eyes at the quick breakfast that navigates a different element. It can’t reach such great heights, but it's a true empiricist, and it knows that sooner or later, if not caught by the guny, the flying fish has to return to the water. And then—breakfast. We used to feel sorry for the little winged fish. It was sad to witness such gruesome and bloody slaughter. Yet, during the night watches, when a lonely flying fish hit the mainsail and fell gasping onto the deck, we would rush for it just as eagerly, just as greedily, just as ravenously as the dolphins and bonitas. Because flying fish make a great breakfast. It always surprises me that such delicate meat doesn't create finer tissue in the bodies of the eaters. Maybe the dolphins and bonitas are coarser because they propel themselves at such high speeds to catch their prey. But again, the flying fish also moves at high speeds.

Sharks we caught occasionally, on large hooks, with chain-swivels, bent on a length of small rope. And sharks meant pilot-fish, and remoras, and various sorts of parasitic creatures. Regular man-eaters some of the sharks proved, tiger-eyed and with twelve rows of teeth, razor-sharp. By the way, we of the Snark are agreed that we have eaten many fish that will not compare with baked shark smothered in tomato dressing. In the calms we occasionally caught a fish called “haké” by the Japanese cook. And once, on a spoon-hook trolling a hundred yards astern, we caught a snake-like fish, over three feet in length and not more than three inches in diameter, with four fangs in his jaw. He proved the most delicious fish—delicious in meat and flavour—that we have ever eaten on board.

Sharks were sometimes caught on big hooks with chain swivels attached to a short piece of rope. And sharks meant pilot fish, remoras, and various types of parasites. Some of the sharks turned out to be regular man-eaters, with tiger-like eyes and twelve rows of razor-sharp teeth. By the way, we on the Snark all agree that we’ve eaten many fish that don’t compare to baked shark smothered in tomato sauce. During calm periods, we occasionally caught a fish called “haké” by our Japanese cook. Then once, while trolling with a spoon hook a hundred yards behind the boat, we caught a snake-like fish over three feet long and no more than three inches wide, with four fangs in its jaw. It turned out to be the most delicious fish we’ve ever had on board, in both meat and flavor.

The most welcome addition to our larder was a green sea-turtle, weighing a full hundred pounds and appearing on the table most appetizingly in steaks, soups, and stews, and finally in a wonderful curry which tempted all hands into eating more rice than was good for them. The turtle was sighted to windward, calmly sleeping on the surface in the midst of a huge school of curious dolphins. It was a deep-sea turtle of a surety, for the nearest land was a thousand miles away. We put the Snark about and went back for him, Hermann driving the granes into his head and neck. When hauled aboard, numerous remora were clinging to his shell, and out of the hollows at the roots of his flippers crawled several large crabs. It did not take the crew of the Snark longer than the next meal to reach the unanimous conclusion that it would willingly put the Snark about any time for a turtle.

The best addition to our food supply was a green sea turtle, weighing a full hundred pounds and looking incredibly delicious in steaks, soups, and stews, and finally in a fantastic curry that tempted everyone to eat more rice than they should have. We spotted the turtle to windward, peacefully sleeping on the surface surrounded by a large school of curious dolphins. It was definitely a deep-sea turtle, since the nearest land was a thousand miles away. We turned the Snark around and went back for him, with Hermann driving the hooks into his head and neck. Once we got him aboard, we noticed that many remoras were clinging to his shell, and out of the hollows at the base of his flippers crawled several large crabs. It didn't take the crew of the Snark long to unanimously agree that they would gladly turn the Snark around any time for a turtle.

But it is the dolphin that is the king of deep-sea fishes. Never is his colour twice quite the same. Swimming in the sea, an ethereal creature of palest azure, he displays in that one guise a miracle of colour. But it is nothing compared with the displays of which he is capable. At one time he will appear green—pale green, deep green, phosphorescent green; at another time blue—deep blue, electric blue, all the spectrum of blue. Catch him on a hook, and he turns to gold, yellow gold, all gold. Haul him on deck, and he excels the spectrum, passing through inconceivable shades of blues, greens, and yellows, and then, suddenly, turning a ghostly white, in the midst of which are bright blue spots, and you suddenly discover that he is speckled like a trout. Then back from white he goes, through all the range of colours, finally turning to a mother-of-pearl.

But it's the dolphin that reigns as the king of deep-sea fish. Its color is never the same twice. Swimming in the ocean, it appears as an ethereal creature of light blue, showcasing a miracle of color in that one form. But that's nothing compared to the displays it can create. At one moment, it looks green—light green, dark green, glowing green; at another moment, it’s blue—dark blue, electric blue, every shade of blue. Hook it, and it transforms into gold, bright yellow gold, pure gold. Pull it onto the deck, and it surpasses the spectrum, shifting through unimaginable shades of blue, green, and yellow, and then, suddenly, it turns a ghostly white, marked with bright blue spots, revealing that it's speckled like a trout. Then it shifts back from white, cycling through all the colors, and finally settles on a mother-of-pearl finish.

For those who are devoted to fishing, I can recommend no finer sport than catching dolphin. Of course, it must be done on a thin line with reel and pole. A No. 7, O’Shaughnessy tarpon hook is just the thing, baited with an entire flying-fish. Like the bonita, the dolphin’s fare consists of flying-fish, and he strikes like lightning at the bait. The first warning is when the reel screeches and you see the line smoking out at right angles to the boat. Before you have time to entertain anxiety concerning the length of your line, the fish rises into the air in a succession of leaps. Since he is quite certain to be four feet long or over, the sport of landing so gamey a fish can be realized. When hooked, he invariably turns golden. The idea of the series of leaps is to rid himself of the hook, and the man who has made the strike must be of iron or decadent if his heart does not beat with an extra flutter when he beholds such gorgeous fish, glittering in golden mail and shaking itself like a stallion in each mid-air leap. ’Ware slack! If you don’t, on one of those leaps the hook will be flung out and twenty feet away. No slack, and away he will go on another run, culminating in another series of leaps. About this time one begins to worry over the line, and to wish that he had had nine hundred feet on the reel originally instead of six hundred. With careful playing the line can be saved, and after an hour of keen excitement the fish can be brought to gaff. One such dolphin I landed on the Snark measured four feet and seven inches.

For those who love fishing, I can't recommend a better sport than catching dolphin. Of course, it should be done with a light line, reel, and pole. A No. 7 O'Shaughnessy tarpon hook is perfect, baited with a whole flying fish. Like the bonita, dolphins love to eat flying fish, and they strike like lightning. The first sign is when the reel screeches and you see the line zipping out at a right angle to the boat. Before you can worry about how much line you have, the fish leaps into the air in a series of jumps. Since it's guaranteed to be over four feet long, the thrill of landing such a strong fish is real. When hooked, it turns golden almost immediately. The series of leaps is an attempt to throw off the hook, and anyone who lands the fish must be made of stone or spoiled if their heart doesn't race at the sight of such a stunning fish, shining in golden scales and wriggling like a stallion with each leap. Watch out for slack! If you don't, during one of those jumps, the hook could fly out and land twenty feet away. No slack, and it will take off on another run, ending in another series of jumps. Around this time, you start to worry about the line and wish you had nine hundred feet on the reel instead of six hundred. With careful handling, the line can be saved, and after an hour of intense excitement, the fish can finally be brought to gaff. One dolphin I caught on the Snark measured four feet and seven inches.

Hermann caught dolphins more prosaically. A hand-line and a chunk of shark-meat were all he needed. His hand-line was very thick, but on more than one occasion it parted and lost the fish. One day a dolphin got away with a lure of Hermann’s manufacture, to which were lashed four O’Shaughnessy hooks. Within an hour the same dolphin was landed with the rod, and on dissecting him the four hooks were recovered. The dolphins, which remained with us over a month, deserted us north of the line, and not one was seen during the remainder of the traverse.

Hermann caught dolphins in a more straightforward way. All he needed was a hand-line and a piece of shark meat. His hand-line was quite thick, but it snapped on more than one occasion, causing him to lose the fish. One day, a dolphin got away with a lure made by Hermann, which had four O’Shaughnessy hooks attached to it. Within an hour, he caught the same dolphin with the rod, and when he dissected it, he found the four hooks. The dolphins that stayed with us for over a month left us when we crossed north of the line, and none were spotted for the rest of the journey.

So the days passed. There was so much to be done that time never dragged. Had there been little to do, time could not have dragged with such wonderful seascapes and cloudscapes—dawns that were like burning imperial cities under rainbows that arched nearly to the zenith; sunsets that bathed the purple sea in rivers of rose-coloured light, flowing from a sun whose diverging, heaven-climbing rays were of the purest blue. Overside, in the heat of the day, the sea was an azure satiny fabric, in the depths of which the sunshine focussed in funnels of light. Astern, deep down, when there was a breeze, bubbled a procession of milky-turquoise ghosts—the foam flung down by the hull of the Snark each time she floundered against a sea. At night the wake was phosphorescent fire, where the medusa slime resented our passing bulk, while far down could be observed the unceasing flight of comets, with long, undulating, nebulous tails—caused by the passage of the bonitas through the resentful medusa slime. And now and again, from out of the darkness on either hand, just under the surface, larger phosphorescent organisms flashed up like electric lights, marking collisions with the careless bonitas skurrying ahead to the good hunting just beyond our bowsprit.

So the days went by. There was so much to do that time never felt slow. If there had been less to do, time wouldn’t have seemed so vibrant with the amazing views of the sea and sky—mornings that looked like blazing empire cities under rainbows stretching almost to the zenith; sunsets that soaked the purple sea in rivers of pink light, pouring from a sun whose diverging, heaven-reaching rays were the purest blue. Below, in the heat of the day, the sea was like a glossy azure fabric, where sunlight focused in funnels of light. Behind us, deep down, when there was a breeze, a stream of milky-turquoise ghosts bubbled up—the foam thrown off by the hull of the Snark each time she thrashed against a wave. At night, the wake glowed with phosphorescent fire, where the jellyfish slime resented our passing bulk, while far below, you could see the constant flight of comets, with long, flowing, hazy tails—created by the passage of the bonitas through the offended jellyfish slime. Now and then, from the darkness on either side, just beneath the surface, larger glowing organisms flashed like electric lights, marking collisions with the reckless bonitas darting ahead to the good fishing just beyond our bowsprit.

We made our easting, worked down through the doldrums, and caught a fresh breeze out of south-by-west. Hauled up by the wind, on such a slant, we would fetch past the Marquesas far away to the westward. But the next day, on Tuesday, November 26, in the thick of a heavy squall, the wind shifted suddenly to the southeast. It was the trade at last. There were no more squalls, naught but fine weather, a fair wind, and a whirling log, with sheets slacked off and with spinnaker and mainsail swaying and bellying on either side. The trade backed more and more, until it blew out of the northeast, while we steered a steady course to the southwest. Ten days of this, and on the morning of December 6, at five o’clock, we sighted land “just where it ought to have been,” dead ahead. We passed to leeward of Ua-huka, skirted the southern edge of Nuka-hiva, and that night, in driving squalls and inky darkness, fought our way in to an anchorage in the narrow bay of Taiohae. The anchor rumbled down to the blatting of wild goats on the cliffs, and the air we breathed was heavy with the perfume of flowers. The traverse was accomplished. Sixty days from land to land, across a lonely sea above whose horizons never rise the straining sails of ships.

We went east, made our way through the doldrums, and caught a fresh breeze coming from the south-west. With the wind at such an angle, we could sail past the Marquesas far to the west. But the next day, on Tuesday, November 26, right in the middle of a heavy squall, the wind suddenly shifted to the southeast. It was finally the trade winds. There were no more squalls, just nice weather, a good wind, and a swirling log, with the sails loosened and the spinnaker and mainsail flapping on either side. The trade winds continued to shift until they blew from the northeast while we kept a steady course to the southwest. After ten days of this, on the morning of December 6 at five o'clock, we spotted land “just where it was supposed to be,” straight ahead. We sailed to the east of Ua-huka, went along the southern edge of Nuka-hiva, and that night, in heavy squalls and pitch darkness, we fought our way into an anchorage in the narrow bay of Taiohae. The anchor dropped with the sounds of wild goats bleating on the cliffs, and the air was filled with the scent of flowers. The journey was complete. Sixty days from land to land, across a lonely sea where no ships’ sails ever rise above the horizon.

CHAPTER X
TYPEE

To the eastward Ua-huka was being blotted out by an evening rain-squall that was fast overtaking the Snark. But that little craft, her big spinnaker filled by the southeast trade, was making a good race of it. Cape Martin, the southeasternmost point of Nuku-hiva, was abeam, and Comptroller Bay was opening up as we fled past its wide entrance, where Sail Rock, for all the world like the spritsail of a Columbia River salmon-boat, was making brave weather of it in the smashing southeast swell.

To the east, Ua-huka was disappearing behind an evening rain squall that was quickly catching up to the Snark. But that little boat, with her large spinnaker filled by the southeast trade winds, was racing along nicely. Cape Martin, the southeasternmost point of Nuku-hiva, was just off to the side, and Comptroller Bay was coming into view as we sped past its wide entrance, where Sail Rock, looking just like the spritsail of a Columbia River salmon boat, was bravely handling the powerful southeast waves.

“What do you make that out to be?” I asked Hermann, at the wheel.

“What do you think that is?” I asked Hermann, who was driving.

“A fishing-boat, sir,” he answered after careful scrutiny.

“A fishing boat, sir,” he replied after careful examination.

Yet on the chart it was plainly marked, “Sail Rock.”

Yet on the chart, it was clearly labeled, “Sail Rock.”

But we were more interested in the recesses of Comptroller Bay, where our eyes eagerly sought out the three bights of land and centred on the midmost one, where the gathering twilight showed the dim walls of a valley extending inland. How often we had pored over the chart and centred always on that midmost bight and on the valley it opened—the Valley of Typee. “Taipi” the chart spelled it, and spelled it correctly, but I prefer “Typee,” and I shall always spell it “Typee.” When I was a little boy, I read a book spelled in that manner—Herman Melville’s “Typee”; and many long hours I dreamed over its pages. Nor was it all dreaming. I resolved there and then, mightily, come what would, that when I had gained strength and years, I, too, would voyage to Typee. For the wonder of the world was penetrating to my tiny consciousness—the wonder that was to lead me to many lands, and that leads and never pails. The years passed, but Typee was not forgotten. Returned to San Francisco from a seven months’ cruise in the North Pacific, I decided the time had come. The brig Galilee was sailing for the Marquesas, but her crew was complete and I, who was an able-seaman before the mast and young enough to be overweeningly proud of it, was willing to condescend to ship as cabin-boy in order to make the pilgrimage to Typee. Of course, the Galilee would have sailed from the Marquesas without me, for I was bent on finding another Fayaway and another Kory-Kory. I doubt that the captain read desertion in my eye. Perhaps even the berth of cabin-boy was already filled. At any rate, I did not get it.

But we were more interested in the nooks of Comptroller Bay, where we eagerly looked for the three bights of land and focused on the middle one, where the fading twilight revealed the faint walls of a valley stretching inland. How often we had studied the map and always focused on that central bight and the valley it opened—the Valley of Typee. “Taipi” is how the map spelled it, and it was right, but I prefer “Typee,” and I will always spell it “Typee.” When I was a little kid, I read a book spelled that way—Herman Melville’s “Typee”; and I spent many long hours dreaming over its pages. It wasn’t all just dreaming, though. I made a strong resolution back then, no matter what, that when I grew stronger and older, I, too, would travel to Typee. The wonder of the world was seeping into my little mind—the wonder that would take me to many places, and that continues to inspire me and never fades. Years went by, but Typee was never forgotten. After returning to San Francisco from a seven-month cruise in the North Pacific, I decided it was time. The brig Galilee was setting sail for the Marquesas, but her crew was already complete. I, being a capable seaman and young enough to be overly proud of it, was willing to take a step down to work as a cabin-boy in order to make the journey to Typee. Of course, the Galilee would have left for the Marquesas without me, as I was determined to find another Fayaway and another Kory-Kory. I doubt the captain saw any intention of desertion in my eyes. Maybe the cabin-boy position was already filled. In any case, I didn’t get it.

Then came the rush of years, filled brimming with projects, achievements, and failures; but Typee was not forgotten, and here I was now, gazing at its misty outlines till the squall swooped down and the Snark dashed on into the driving smother. Ahead, we caught a glimpse and took the compass bearing of Sentinel Rock, wreathed with pounding surf. Then it, too, was effaced by the rain and darkness. We steered straight for it, trusting to hear the sound of breakers in time to sheer clear. We had to steer for it. We had naught but a compass bearing with which to orientate ourselves, and if we missed Sentinel Rock, we missed Taiohae Bay, and we would have to throw the Snark up to the wind and lie off and on the whole night—no pleasant prospect for voyagers weary from a sixty days’ traverse of the vast Pacific solitude, and land-hungry, and fruit-hungry, and hungry with an appetite of years for the sweet vale of Typee.

Then the years flew by, packed with projects, achievements, and failures; but Typee wasn't forgotten, and here I was now, staring at its faint outlines until the storm hit and the Snark rushed into the pouring chaos. Ahead, we caught a glimpse and took the compass reading of Sentinel Rock, surrounded by crashing waves. Then it was lost to the rain and darkness. We headed straight for it, hoping to hear the sound of the surf in time to steer clear. We had no choice but to aim for it. We only had a compass reading to guide us, and if we missed Sentinel Rock, we’d miss Taiohae Bay, and we would have to let the Snark drift in the wind and circle around all night—not a great prospect for travelers tired from sixty days crossing the vast Pacific loneliness, hungry for land, fruit, and craving the sweet valley of Typee after years of longing.

Abruptly, with a roar of sound, Sentinel Rock loomed through the rain dead ahead. We altered our course, and, with mainsail and spinnaker bellying to the squall, drove past. Under the lea of the rock the wind dropped us, and we rolled in an absolute calm. Then a puff of air struck us, right in our teeth, out of Taiohae Bay. It was in spinnaker, up mizzen, all sheets by the wind, and we were moving slowly ahead, heaving the lead and straining our eyes for the fixed red light on the ruined fort that would give us our bearings to anchorage. The air was light and baffling, now east, now west, now north, now south; while from either hand came the roar of unseen breakers. From the looming cliffs arose the blatting of wild goats, and overhead the first stars were peeping mistily through the ragged train of the passing squall. At the end of two hours, having come a mile into the bay, we dropped anchor in eleven fathoms. And so we came to Taiohae.

Suddenly, with a loud roar, Sentinel Rock appeared through the rain straight ahead. We changed our course, and with the mainsail and spinnaker billowing in the squall, we sped past. On the sheltered side of the rock, the wind died down, leaving us in complete calm. Then, a gust of air hit us right in the face, coming from Taiohae Bay. We had the spinnaker up and the mizzen set, all sheets trimmed in, and we were moving slowly forward, dropping the lead and straining our eyes for the fixed red light on the ruined fort that would guide us to the anchorage. The air was light and unpredictable, shifting from east to west to north to south, while the sound of unseen waves crashed on either side. From the towering cliffs came the bleating of wild goats, and overhead, the first stars were faintly appearing through the jagged remnants of the passing squall. After two hours, having made our way a mile into the bay, we dropped anchor in eleven fathoms. And so we reached Taiohae.

In the morning we awoke in fairyland. The Snark rested in a placid harbour that nestled in a vast amphitheatre, the towering, vine-clad walls of which seemed to rise directly from the water. Far up, to the east, we glimpsed the thin line of a trail, visible in one place, where it scoured across the face of the wall.

In the morning, we woke up in a magical place. The Snark was anchored in a calm harbor surrounded by a huge natural amphitheater, with tall, vine-covered walls that appeared to rise straight out of the water. Far to the east, we caught sight of a narrow trail, visible in one spot, where it cut across the side of the wall.

“The path by which Toby escaped from Typee!” we cried.

“The way Toby got away from Typee!” we shouted.

We were not long in getting ashore and astride horses, though the consummation of our pilgrimage had to be deferred for a day. Two months at sea, bare-footed all the time, without space in which to exercise one’s limbs, is not the best preliminary to leather shoes and walking. Besides, the land had to cease its nauseous rolling before we could feel fit for riding goat-like horses over giddy trails. So we took a short ride to break in, and crawled through thick jungle to make the acquaintance of a venerable moss-grown idol, where had foregathered a German trader and a Norwegian captain to estimate the weight of said idol, and to speculate upon depreciation in value caused by sawing him in half. They treated the old fellow sacrilegiously, digging their knives into him to see how hard he was and how deep his mossy mantle, and commanding him to rise up and save them trouble by walking down to the ship himself. In lieu of which, nineteen Kanakas slung him on a frame of timbers and toted him to the ship, where, battened down under hatches, even now he is cleaving the South Pacific Hornward and toward Europe—the ultimate abiding-place for all good heathen idols, save for the few in America and one in particular who grins beside me as I write, and who, barring shipwreck, will grin somewhere in my neighbourhood until I die. And he will win out. He will be grinning when I am dust.

We didn’t take long to get ashore and onto horses, although we had to delay the final part of our journey for a day. Two months at sea, barefoot the entire time and without any space to stretch out, isn’t the best preparation for leather shoes and walking. Plus, the land had to stop its nauseating swaying before we felt ready to ride on rocky paths. So we took a brief ride to get used to it and pushed through thick jungle to meet an ancient moss-covered idol, where a German trader and a Norwegian captain had gathered to estimate the idol’s weight and speculate on how its value would drop if they sawed it in half. They treated the old guy disrespectfully, digging their knives into him to see how tough he was and how deep his mossy covering went, demanding that he rise up and walk to the ship by himself to save them the trouble. Instead, nineteen Kanakas carried him on a frame of wooden planks to the ship, where, now securely stored away, he is making his way across the South Pacific toward Europe—the final resting place for all good pagan idols, except for a few in America and one in particular who’s grinning next to me as I write, and who, unless there’s a shipwreck, will keep grinning somewhere near me until I pass away. And he will outlast me. He’ll be grinning when I’m dust.

Also, as a preliminary, we attended a feast, where one Taiara Tamarii, the son of an Hawaiian sailor who deserted from a whaleship, commemorated the death of his Marquesan mother by roasting fourteen whole hogs and inviting in the village. So we came along, welcomed by a native herald, a young girl, who stood on a great rock and chanted the information that the banquet was made perfect by our presence—which information she extended impartially to every arrival. Scarcely were we seated, however, when she changed her tune, while the company manifested intense excitement. Her cries became eager and piercing. From a distance came answering cries, in men’s voices, which blended into a wild, barbaric chant that sounded incredibly savage, smacking of blood and war. Then, through vistas of tropical foliage appeared a procession of savages, naked save for gaudy loin-cloths. They advanced slowly, uttering deep guttural cries of triumph and exaltation. Slung from young saplings carried on their shoulders were mysterious objects of considerable weight, hidden from view by wrappings of green leaves.

Also, as a warm-up, we attended a feast where Taiara Tamarii, the son of a Hawaiian sailor who had jumped ship from a whaling boat, honored the memory of his Marquesan mother by roasting fourteen whole hogs and inviting the village. So we showed up, greeted by a local herald, a young girl, who stood on a big rock and chanted that the banquet was made better by our presence—which she announced equally to everyone arriving. Just as we were settling in, though, she changed her tune, and the crowd became intensely excited. Her cries became eager and sharp. From a distance came answering shouts from men, blending into a wild, primal chant that sounded incredibly fierce, hinting at blood and war. Then, through gaps in the tropical foliage, appeared a procession of naked savages except for bright loincloths. They moved slowly, letting out deep guttural cries of victory and joy. Slung from young saplings on their shoulders were mysterious heavy objects, concealed from view by wrappings of green leaves.

Nothing but pigs, innocently fat and roasted to a turn, were inside those wrappings, but the men were carrying them into camp in imitation of old times when they carried in “long-pig.” Now long-pig is not pig. Long-pig is the Polynesian euphemism for human flesh; and these descendants of man-eaters, a king’s son at their head, brought in the pigs to table as of old their grandfathers had brought in their slain enemies. Every now and then the procession halted in order that the bearers should have every advantage in uttering particularly ferocious shouts of victory, of contempt for their enemies, and of gustatory desire. So Melville, two generations ago, witnessed the bodies of slain Happar warriors, wrapped in palm-leaves, carried to banquet at the Ti. At another time, at the Ti, he “observed a curiously carved vessel of wood,” and on looking into it his eyes “fell upon the disordered members of a human skeleton, the bones still fresh with moisture, and with particles of flesh clinging to them here and there.”

Nothing but pigs, plump and perfectly roasted, were wrapped up inside, but the men were bringing them into camp like the old days when they brought in “long-pig.” Now, long-pig isn’t actual pig. Long-pig is the Polynesian term for human flesh; and these descendants of man-eaters, led by a king’s son, brought the pigs to the table just like their ancestors had once brought in their defeated enemies. Occasionally, the procession would stop so the bearers could fully express themselves with especially fierce shouts of victory, mockery towards their foes, and cravings for food. So, Melville, two generations ago, saw the bodies of fallen Happar warriors wrapped in palm leaves, brought to the feast at the Ti. At another time, at the Ti, he “observed a curiously carved vessel of wood,” and when he looked inside, he found “the disordered members of a human skeleton, the bones still fresh with moisture, and with bits of flesh clinging to them here and there.”

Cannibalism has often been regarded as a fairy story by ultracivilized men who dislike, perhaps, the notion that their own savage forebears have somewhere in the past been addicted to similar practices. Captain Cook was rather sceptical upon the subject, until, one day, in a harbour of New Zealand, he deliberately tested the matter. A native happened to have brought on board, for sale, a nice, sun-dried head. At Cook’s orders strips of the flesh were cut away and handed to the native, who greedily devoured them. To say the least, Captain Cook was a rather thorough-going empiricist. At any rate, by that act he supplied one ascertained fact of which science had been badly in need. Little did he dream of the existence of a certain group of islands, thousands of miles away, where in subsequent days there would arise a curious suit at law, when an old chief of Maui would be charged with defamation of character because he persisted in asserting that his body was the living repository of Captain Cook’s great toe. It is said that the plaintiffs failed to prove that the old chief was not the tomb of the navigator’s great toe, and that the suit was dismissed.

Cannibalism has often been seen as a fairy tale by highly civilized people who maybe dislike the idea that their own primitive ancestors once engaged in similar practices. Captain Cook was quite skeptical about it until, one day, in a harbor in New Zealand, he decided to investigate for himself. A local had brought on board a nicely sun-dried head for sale. At Cook’s command, strips of the flesh were cut off and given to the native, who eagerly consumed them. To say the least, Captain Cook was a thorough empiricist. In any case, that act provided one confirmed fact that science had sorely needed. Little did he know about a group of islands thousands of miles away, where, in the future, a peculiar legal case would unfold, charging an old chief from Maui with defamation because he maintained that his body was the living resting place of Captain Cook’s great toe. It is said that the plaintiffs failed to prove that the old chief wasn’t the tomb of the navigator’s great toe, and the case was dismissed.

I suppose I shall not have the chance in these degenerate days to see any long-pig eaten, but at least I am already the possessor of a duly certified Marquesan calabash, oblong in shape, curiously carved, over a century old, from which has been drunk the blood of two shipmasters. One of those captains was a mean man. He sold a decrepit whale-boat, as good as new what of the fresh white paint, to a Marquesan chief. But no sooner had the captain sailed away than the whale-boat dropped to pieces. It was his fortune, some time afterwards, to be wrecked, of all places, on that particular island. The Marquesan chief was ignorant of rebates and discounts; but he had a primitive sense of equity and an equally primitive conception of the economy of nature, and he balanced the account by eating the man who had cheated him.

I guess I won't get the chance in these times to see any long-pig eaten, but at least I already own a certified Marquesan calabash, oblong in shape, intricately carved, over a hundred years old, from which the blood of two ship captains has been drunk. One of those captains was a nasty guy. He sold a worn-out whale boat, looking almost brand new thanks to the fresh white paint, to a Marquesan chief. But as soon as the captain sailed away, the whale boat fell apart. Later, he happened to be shipwrecked, of all places, on that same island. The Marquesan chief didn't know about rebates and discounts, but he had a basic sense of fairness and a straightforward understanding of nature's economy, and he settled the score by eating the man who had deceived him.

We started in the cool dawn for Typee, astride ferocious little stallions that pawed and screamed and bit and fought one another quite oblivious of the fragile humans on their backs and of the slippery boulders, loose rocks, and yawning gorges. The way led up an ancient road through a jungle of hau trees. On every side were the vestiges of a one-time dense population. Wherever the eye could penetrate the thick growth, glimpses were caught of stone walls and of stone foundations, six to eight feet in height, built solidly throughout, and many yards in width and depth. They formed great stone platforms, upon which, at one time, there had been houses. But the houses and the people were gone, and huge trees sank their roots through the platforms and towered over the under-running jungle. These foundations are called pae-paes—the pi-pis of Melville, who spelled phonetically.

We set off in the cool dawn for Typee, riding on fierce little stallions that kicked, screamed, bit, and fought each other, completely ignoring the fragile humans on their backs and the slippery boulders, loose rocks, and yawning gorges. The path led up an ancient road through a jungle of hau trees. All around were remnants of what was once a densely populated area. Wherever we could see through the thick foliage, we caught glimpses of stone walls and stone foundations, six to eight feet high, built solidly and many yards wide and deep. They formed large stone platforms where houses once stood. But the houses and the people were gone, and huge trees spread their roots through the platforms, towering over the underlying jungle. These foundations are called pae-paes—the pi-pis of Melville, who spelled them phonetically.

The Marquesans of the present generation lack the energy to hoist and place such huge stones. Also, they lack incentive. There are plenty of pae-paes to go around, with a few thousand unoccupied ones left over. Once or twice, as we ascended the valley, we saw magnificent pae-paes bearing on their general surface pitiful little straw huts, the proportions being similar to a voting booth perched on the broad foundation of the Pyramid of Cheops. For the Marquesans are perishing, and, to judge from conditions at Taiohae, the one thing that retards their destruction is the infusion of fresh blood. A pure Marquesan is a rarity. They seem to be all half-breeds and strange conglomerations of dozens of different races. Nineteen able labourers are all the trader at Taiohae can muster for the loading of copra on shipboard, and in their veins runs the blood of English, American, Dane, German, French, Corsican, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, Hawaiian, Paumotan, Tahitian, and Easter Islander. There are more races than there are persons, but it is a wreckage of races at best. Life faints and stumbles and gasps itself away. In this warm, equable clime—a truly terrestrial paradise—where are never extremes of temperature and where the air is like balm, kept ever pure by the ozone-laden southeast trade, asthma, phthisis, and tuberculosis flourish as luxuriantly as the vegetation. Everywhere, from the few grass huts, arises the racking cough or exhausted groan of wasted lungs. Other horrible diseases prosper as well, but the most deadly of all are those that attack the lungs. There is a form of consumption called “galloping,” which is especially dreaded. In two months’ time it reduces the strongest man to a skeleton under a grave-cloth. In valley after valley the last inhabitant has passed and the fertile soil has relapsed to jungle. In Melville’s day the valley of Hapaa (spelled by him “Happar”) was peopled by a strong and warlike tribe. A generation later, it contained but two hundred persons. To-day it is an untenanted, howling, tropical wilderness.

The Marquesans today don’t have the energy to lift and place such massive stones. They also lack motivation. There are plenty of pae-paes available, with a few thousand unoccupied ones still out there. A couple of times, as we made our way up the valley, we spotted impressive pae-paes that had pitiful little straw huts on them, resembling a voting booth sitting on the vast base of the Pyramid of Cheops. The Marquesans are fading away, and judging by the situation in Taiohae, the only thing holding back their decline is the introduction of new blood. A pure Marquesan is hard to find. They all seem to be mixed-race individuals or strange blends of various ethnicities. The trader in Taiohae can only gather nineteen able workers to load copra onto the ship, and they have a mix of English, American, Danish, German, French, Corsican, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, Hawaiian, Paumotan, Tahitian, and Easter Islander blood running through their veins. There are more races than people, but it’s essentially a wreckage of ethnicities. Life is weak and struggling to survive. In this warm, mild climate—a true paradise on earth—where the temperature is always moderate and the air is like balm, kept fresh by the ozone-filled southeast trade winds, asthma, lung disease, and tuberculosis thrive just as robustly as the plants. Throughout the few grass huts, you can hear the hacking cough or tired groan of fragile lungs. Other terrible diseases also flourish, but the most lethal ones attack the lungs. There’s a type of consumption known as “galloping,” which is particularly feared. It can turn the strongest man into a skeleton under a burial shroud in just two months. In valley after valley, the last resident has vanished, and the fertile land has returned to jungle. In Melville’s time, the valley of Hapaa (which he called “Happar”) was home to a strong, warlike tribe. A generation later, it had dwindled to only two hundred people. Today, it stands as an uninhabited, howling tropical wilderness.

We climbed higher and higher in the valley, our unshod stallions picking their steps on the disintegrating trail, which led in and out through the abandoned pae-paes and insatiable jungle. The sight of red mountain apples, the ohias, familiar to us from Hawaii, caused a native to be sent climbing after them. And again he climbed for cocoa-nuts. I have drunk the cocoanuts of Jamaica and of Hawaii, but I never knew how delicious such draught could be till I drank it here in the Marquesas. Occasionally we rode under wild limes and oranges—great trees which had survived the wilderness longer than the motes of humans who had cultivated them.

We climbed higher and higher in the valley, our barefoot horses carefully navigating the crumbling trail that wound through the abandoned pae-paes and lush jungle. The sight of red mountain apples, the ohias, familiar to us from Hawaii, prompted a local to climb up for them. He also climbed for coconuts. I've tasted coconuts from Jamaica and Hawaii, but I never realized how delicious they could be until I had them here in the Marquesas. Sometimes we rode under wild limes and oranges—massive trees that had outlasted the people who once cultivated them.

We rode through endless thickets of yellow-pollened cassi—if riding it could be called; for those fragrant thickets were inhabited by wasps. And such wasps! Great yellow fellows the size of small canary birds, darting through the air with behind them drifting a bunch of legs a couple of inches long. A stallion abruptly stands on his forelegs and thrusts his hind legs skyward. He withdraws them from the sky long enough to make one wild jump ahead, and then returns them to their index position. It is nothing. His thick hide has merely been punctured by a flaming lance of wasp virility. Then a second and a third stallion, and all the stallions, begin to cavort on their forelegs over the precipitous landscape. Swat! A white-hot poniard penetrates my cheek. Swat again!! I am stabbed in the neck. I am bringing up the rear and getting more than my share. There is no retreat, and the plunging horses ahead, on a precarious trail, promise little safety. My horse overruns Charmian’s horse, and that sensitive creature, fresh-stung at the psychological moment, planks one of his hoofs into my horse and the other hoof into me. I thank my stars that he is not steel-shod, and half-arise from the saddle at the impact of another flaming dagger. I am certainly getting more than my share, and so is my poor horse, whose pain and panic are only exceeded by mine.

We rode through endless patches of yellow-pollen-covered bushes—if you could call it riding; those fragrant areas were filled with wasps. And what wasps! Huge yellow ones the size of small canary birds, zipping through the air with long legs trailing behind them. A stallion suddenly stands on his front legs and kicks his back legs up into the air. He pulls them down just long enough to make one wild leap forward, then puts them back down again. It’s nothing. His thick skin has just been punctured by a painful sting from a wasp. Then a second and a third stallion join in, and all the stallions start jumping on their front legs over the steep terrain. Swat! A sharp sting hits my cheek. Swat again!! I’m stung in the neck. I’m at the back and taking more than my fair share. There’s no way to turn back, and the rushing horses ahead, on a narrow trail, offer little security. My horse overtakes Charmian’s horse, and that nervous animal, freshly stung at just the wrong moment, stomps one of his hooves into my horse and the other into me. I’m grateful he doesn't have steel shoes on, and I nearly get thrown from the saddle from another fiery sting. I’m definitely getting more than my fair share, and so is my poor horse, whose pain and panic are only surpassed by my own.

“Get out of the way! I’m coming!” I shout, frantically dashing my cap at the winged vipers around me.

“Move aside! I’m coming through!” I shout, desperately throwing my cap at the winged snakes around me.

On one side of the trail the landscape rises straight up. On the other side it sinks straight down. The only way to get out of my way is to keep on going. How that string of horses kept their feet is a miracle; but they dashed ahead, over-running one another, galloping, trotting, stumbling, jumping, scrambling, and kicking methodically skyward every time a wasp landed on them. After a while we drew breath and counted our injuries. And this happened not once, nor twice, but time after time. Strange to say, it never grew monotonous. I know that I, for one, came through each brush with the undiminished zest of a man flying from sudden death. No; the pilgrim from Taiohae to Typee will never suffer from ennui on the way.

On one side of the trail, the landscape rises steeply. On the other side, it drops sharply. The only way to clear my path is to keep moving forward. It's a miracle how that line of horses stayed on their feet, yet they charged ahead, running over each other, galloping, trotting, stumbling, jumping, scrambling, and kicking up into the air every time a wasp landed on them. After a while, we caught our breath and checked for injuries. And this didn’t happen just once or twice, but again and again. Strangely, it never got boring. I know that I, for one, faced each close call with the same excitement as a person trying to escape sudden death. No, the traveler from Taiohae to Typee will never experience boredom on the journey.

At last we arose above the vexation of wasps. It was a matter of altitude, however, rather than of fortitude. All about us lay the jagged back-bones of ranges, as far as the eye could see, thrusting their pinnacles into the trade-wind clouds. Under us, from the way we had come, the Snark lay like a tiny toy on the calm water of Taiohae Bay. Ahead we could see the inshore indentation of Comptroller Bay. We dropped down a thousand feet, and Typee lay beneath us. “Had a glimpse of the gardens of paradise been revealed to me I could scarcely have been more ravished with the sight”—so said Melville on the moment of his first view of the valley. He saw a garden. We saw a wilderness. Where were the hundred groves of the breadfruit tree he saw? We saw jungle, nothing but jungle, with the exception of two grass huts and several clumps of cocoanuts breaking the primordial green mantle. Where was the Ti of Mehevi, the bachelors’ hall, the palace where women were taboo, and where he ruled with his lesser chieftains, keeping the half-dozen dusty and torpid ancients to remind them of the valorous past? From the swift stream no sounds arose of maids and matrons pounding tapa. And where was the hut that old Narheyo eternally builded? In vain I looked for him perched ninety feet from the ground in some tall cocoanut, taking his morning smoke.

At last, we rose above the annoyance of wasps. It was more about height than bravery, though. All around us were the jagged ridges of mountains, stretching as far as we could see, pushing their peaks into the trade-wind clouds. Below us, on the path we had taken, the Snark looked like a tiny toy on the calm water of Taiohae Bay. Ahead, we could see the curve of Comptroller Bay. We descended a thousand feet, and Typee lay beneath us. “If a glimpse of paradise gardens had been shown to me, I couldn't have been more thrilled with the view”—so said Melville when he first saw the valley. He saw a garden. We saw a wilderness. Where were the hundred groves of breadfruit trees he described? We saw jungle—only jungle, except for two grass huts and a few clusters of coconuts breaking the endless green cover. Where was the Ti of Mehevi, the bachelors’ hall, the place where women were forbidden, and where he ruled with his lesser chiefs, keeping the six dusty and lethargic elders to remind them of their glorious past? From the fast-flowing stream, there were no sounds of women pounding tapa. And where was the hut that old Narheyo was always building? I looked in vain for him perched ninety feet up in some tall coconut tree, enjoying his morning smoke.

We went down a zigzag trail under overarching, matted jungle, where great butterflies drifted by in the silence. No tattooed savage with club and javelin guarded the path; and when we forded the stream, we were free to roam where we pleased. No longer did the taboo, sacred and merciless, reign in that sweet vale. Nay, the taboo still did reign, a new taboo, for when we approached too near the several wretched native women, the taboo was uttered warningly. And it was well. They were lepers. The man who warned us was afflicted horribly with elephantiasis. All were suffering from lung trouble. The valley of Typee was the abode of death, and the dozen survivors of the tribe were gasping feebly the last painful breaths of the race.

We walked down a winding trail beneath the dense jungle, where large butterflies floated by in the quiet. There was no tattooed warrior with a club and spear to guard the path, and when we crossed the stream, we were free to explore wherever we wanted. The strict, unyielding taboo no longer held sway in that beautiful valley. However, a new taboo still existed, as we were warned not to get too close to the few miserable native women. And rightly so. They were lepers. The man who warned us was severely affected by elephantiasis. Everyone was struggling with lung problems. The valley of Typee was a place of death, and the few remaining members of the tribe were faintly gasping their last painful breaths.

Certainly the battle had not been to the strong, for once the Typeans were very strong, stronger than the Happars, stronger than the Taiohaeans, stronger than all the tribes of Nuku-hiva. The word “typee,” or, rather, “taipi,” originally signified an eater of human flesh. But since all the Marquesans were human-flesh eaters, to be so designated was the token that the Typeans were the human-flesh eaters par excellence. Not alone to Nuku-hiva did the Typean reputation for bravery and ferocity extend. In all the islands of the Marquesas the Typeans were named with dread. Man could not conquer them. Even the French fleet that took possession of the Marquesas left the Typeans alone. Captain Porter, of the frigate Essex, once invaded the valley. His sailors and marines were reinforced by two thousand warriors of Happar and Taiohae. They penetrated quite a distance into the valley, but met with so fierce a resistance that they were glad to retreat and get away in their flotilla of boats and war-canoes.

Certainly, the battle wasn't fought by the strongest, because once the Typeans were very powerful, stronger than the Happars, stronger than the Taiohaeans, and stronger than all the tribes of Nuku-hiva. The word “typee,” or rather “taipi,” originally meant a human flesh eater. But since all the Marquesans were cannibals, being labeled as such meant that the Typeans were the ultimate human flesh eaters. The Typean reputation for bravery and ferocity spread beyond Nuku-hiva. Across all the Marquesas Islands, the Typeans were spoken of with fear. No one could conquer them. Even the French fleet that took control of the Marquesas left the Typeans alone. Captain Porter, commanding the frigate Essex, once invaded the valley. His sailors and marines were backed up by two thousand warriors from Happar and Taiohae. They advanced quite a way into the valley but faced such fierce resistance that they were relieved to retreat and escape in their flotilla of boats and war canoes.

Of all inhabitants of the South Seas, the Marquesans were adjudged the strongest and the most beautiful. Melville said of them: “I was especially struck by the physical strength and beauty they displayed . . . In beauty of form they surpassed anything I had ever seen. Not a single instance of natural deformity was observable in all the throng attending the revels. Every individual appeared free from those blemishes which sometimes mar the effect of an otherwise perfect form. But their physical excellence did not merely consist in an exemption from these evils; nearly every individual of the number might have been taken for a sculptor’s model.” Mendaña, the discoverer of the Marquesas, described the natives as wondrously beautiful to behold. Figueroa, the chronicler of his voyage, said of them: “In complexion they were nearly white; of good stature and finely formed.” Captain Cook called the Marquesans the most splendid islanders in the South Seas. The men were described, as “in almost every instance of lofty stature, scarcely ever less than six feet in height.”

Of all the people in the South Seas, the Marquesans were considered the strongest and most beautiful. Melville remarked, “I was especially struck by their physical strength and beauty... They surpassed anything I had ever seen in terms of beauty. Not one person among the crowd at the celebrations showed any signs of natural deformity. Every individual seemed free from those flaws that sometimes detract from an otherwise perfect form. But their physical excellence wasn't just about being free from these issues; nearly everyone could have been mistaken for a model for a sculptor.” Mendaña, who discovered the Marquesas, described the natives as astonishingly beautiful to look at. Figueroa, the chronicler of his journey, noted, “Their complexion was nearly white; they were tall and well-formed.” Captain Cook called the Marquesans the most impressive islanders in the South Seas. The men were said to be “in almost every case tall, hardly ever less than six feet in height.”

And now all this strength and beauty has departed, and the valley of Typee is the abode of some dozen wretched creatures, afflicted by leprosy, elephantiasis, and tuberculosis. Melville estimated the population at two thousand, not taking into consideration the small adjoining valley of Ho-o-u-mi. Life has rotted away in this wonderful garden spot, where the climate is as delightful and healthful as any to be found in the world. Not alone were the Typeans physically magnificent; they were pure. Their air did not contain the bacilli and germs and microbes of disease that fill our own air. And when the white men imported in their ships these various micro-organisms or disease, the Typeans crumpled up and went down before them.

And now all this strength and beauty has gone, and the valley of Typee is home to a dozen miserable people suffering from leprosy, elephantiasis, and tuberculosis. Melville estimated the population at two thousand, not counting the small nearby valley of Ho-o-u-mi. Life has decayed in this stunning garden spot, where the climate is as pleasant and healthy as anywhere in the world. The Typeans were not only physically impressive; they were also untainted. Their air didn't have the bacteria, germs, and microbes of disease that fill our own air. And when white men brought these various microorganisms of illness in their ships, the Typeans collapsed and succumbed to them.

When one considers the situation, one is almost driven to the conclusion that the white race flourishes on impurity and corruption. Natural selection, however, gives the explanation. We of the white race are the survivors and the descendants of the thousands of generations of survivors in the war with the micro-organisms. Whenever one of us was born with a constitution peculiarly receptive to these minute enemies, such a one promptly died. Only those of us survived who could withstand them. We who are alive are the immune, the fit—the ones best constituted to live in a world of hostile micro-organisms. The poor Marquesans had undergone no such selection. They were not immune. And they, who had made a custom of eating their enemies, were now eaten by enemies so microscopic as to be invisible, and against whom no war of dart and javelin was possible. On the other hand, had there been a few hundred thousand Marquesans to begin with, there might have been sufficient survivors to lay the foundation for a new race—a regenerated race, if a plunge into a festering bath of organic poison can be called regeneration.

When you think about the situation, it’s hard not to conclude that the white race thrives on impurity and corruption. However, natural selection explains it. We, the white race, are the survivors and descendants of countless generations who have battled microorganisms. Whenever one of us was born with a body particularly vulnerable to these tiny threats, that person quickly died. Only those who could withstand them survived. We who are alive are the immune, the fit—the ones best suited to live in a world filled with hostile microorganisms. The poor Marquesans didn’t undergo such selection. They weren't immune. And those who had a habit of eating their enemies were now being consumed by adversaries so tiny they were invisible, and against whom no battle with darts and javelins could be fought. On the other hand, if there had been a few hundred thousand Marquesans to start with, it’s possible there would have been enough survivors to establish a new race—a renewed race, if you can call plunging into a festering pool of organic poison regeneration.

We unsaddled our horses for lunch, and after we had fought the stallions apart—mine with several fresh chunks bitten out of his back—and after we had vainly fought the sand-flies, we ate bananas and tinned meats, washed down by generous draughts of cocoanut milk. There was little to be seen. The jungle had rushed back and engulfed the puny works of man. Here and there pai-pais were to be stumbled upon, but there were no inscriptions, no hieroglyphics, no clues to the past they attested—only dumb stones, builded and carved by hands that were forgotten dust. Out of the pai-pais grew great trees, jealous of the wrought work of man, splitting and scattering the stones back into the primeval chaos.

We took the saddles off our horses for lunch, and after we had separated the stallions—mine had several fresh bites taken out of his back—and after we had unsuccessfully battled the sand-flies, we ate bananas and canned meats, washed down with generous sips of coconut milk. There was little to see. The jungle had quickly reclaimed and swallowed up the insignificant efforts of humanity. Here and there, you could stumble upon pai-pais, but there were no inscriptions, no hieroglyphics, no hints about the past they represented—just silent stones, built and carved by hands that had turned to dust. Out of the pai-pais, great trees grew, envious of the work of man, splitting and scattering the stones back into the primal chaos.

We gave up the jungle and sought the stream with the idea of evading the sand-flies. Vain hope! To go in swimming one must take off his clothes. The sand-flies are aware of the fact, and they lurk by the river bank in countless myriads. In the native they are called the nau-nau, which is pronounced “now-now.” They are certainly well named, for they are the insistent present. There is no past nor future when they fasten upon one’s epidermis, and I am willing to wager that Omer Khayyám could never have written the Rubáiyat in the valley of Typee—it would have been psychologically impossible. I made the strategic mistake of undressing on the edge of a steep bank where I could dive in but could not climb out. When I was ready to dress, I had a hundred yards’ walk on the bank before I could reach my clothes. At the first step, fully ten thousand nau-naus landed upon me. At the second step I was walking in a cloud. By the third step the sun was dimmed in the sky. After that I don’t know what happened. When I arrived at my clothes, I was a maniac. And here enters my grand tactical error. There is only one rule of conduct in dealing with nau-naus. Never swat them. Whatever you do, don’t swat them. They are so vicious that in the instant of annihilation they eject their last atom of poison into your carcass. You must pluck them delicately, between thumb and forefinger, and persuade them gently to remove their proboscides from your quivering flesh. It is like pulling teeth. But the difficulty was that the teeth sprouted faster than I could pull them, so I swatted, and, so doing, filled myself full with their poison. This was a week ago. At the present moment I resemble a sadly neglected smallpox convalescent.

We left the jungle and headed for the stream, hoping to avoid the sand-flies. What a wasted hope! To go swimming, you have to take off your clothes. The sand-flies know this and swarm along the riverbank in countless numbers. Locally, they're called the nau-nau, pronounced "now-now." The name fits perfectly because they are the relentless present. There’s no past or future when they latch onto your skin, and I’m pretty sure that Omer Khayyám could never have written the Rubáiyat in the valley of Typee—it would have been psychologically impossible. I made a strategic mistake by undressing on the edge of a steep bank where I could dive in but couldn’t climb back out. When I got ready to get dressed, I had to walk a hundred yards along the bank to reach my clothes. At my first step, at least ten thousand nau-naus landed on me. With the second step, I was walking in a cloud. By the third step, the sun seemed to disappear from the sky. After that, I lost track of what happened. When I finally got to my clothes, I was frantic. And this is where I made a major tactical error. There’s only one rule when dealing with nau-naus: Never swat them. Whatever you do, don’t swat them. They’re so vicious that when you try to kill them, they release their last bit of poison into you. You have to pick them off carefully, between your thumb and forefinger, and gently persuade them to remove their mouthparts from your quivering flesh. It’s like pulling teeth. But the problem was that the flies multiplied faster than I could remove them, so I swatted, and in doing so, pumped myself full of their poison. This happened a week ago. Right now, I look like a poorly treated smallpox survivor.

Ho-o-u-mi is a small valley, separated from Typee by a low ridge, and thither we started when we had knocked our indomitable and insatiable riding-animals into submission. As it was, Warren’s mount, after a mile run, selected the most dangerous part of the trail for an exhibition that kept us all on the anxious seat for fully five minutes. We rode by the mouth of Typee valley and gazed down upon the beach from which Melville escaped. There was where the whale-boat lay on its oars close in to the surf; and there was where Karakoee, the taboo Kanaka, stood in the water and trafficked for the sailor’s life. There, surely, was where Melville gave Fayaway the parting embrace ere he dashed for the boat. And there was the point of land from which Mehevi and Mow-mow and their following swam off to intercept the boat, only to have their wrists gashed by sheath-knives when they laid hold of the gunwale, though it was reserved for Mow-mow to receive the boat-hook full in the throat from Melville’s hands.

Ho-o-u-mi is a small valley, separated from Typee by a low ridge, and that’s where we headed after we finally got our stubborn and demanding riding animals to calm down. As it turned out, Warren’s horse, after a mile run, picked the most treacherous part of the trail for a little stunt that had us all on edge for a solid five minutes. We rode past the entrance to Typee valley and looked down at the beach from which Melville made his escape. That was where the whale-boat was anchored close to the surf; and that was where Karakoee, the forbidden Kanaka, stood in the water negotiating for the sailor’s life. Right there was where Melville said a final goodbye to Fayaway before he rushed for the boat. And over there was the point of land from which Mehevi, Mow-mow, and their group swam out to stop the boat, only to have their wrists cut by sheath knives when they grabbed onto the edge, although it was Mow-mow who took the boat-hook directly in the throat from Melville’s hand.

We rode on to Ho-o-u-mi. So closely was Melville guarded that he never dreamed of the existence of this valley, though he must continually have met its inhabitants, for they belonged to Typee. We rode through the same abandoned pae-paes, but as we neared the sea we found a profusion of cocoanuts, breadfruit trees and taro patches, and fully a dozen grass dwellings. In one of these we arranged to pass the night, and preparations were immediately put on foot for a feast. A young pig was promptly despatched, and while he was being roasted among hot stones, and while chickens were stewing in cocoanut milk, I persuaded one of the cooks to climb an unusually tall cocoanut palm. The cluster of nuts at the top was fully one hundred and twenty-five feet from the ground, but that native strode up to the tree, seized it in both hands, jack-knived at the waist so that the soles of his feet rested flatly against the trunk, and then he walked right straight up without stopping. There were no notches in the tree. He had no ropes to help him. He merely walked up the tree, one hundred and twenty-five feet in the air, and cast down the nuts from the summit. Not every man there had the physical stamina for such a feat, or the lungs, rather, for most of them were coughing their lives away. Some of the women kept up a ceaseless moaning and groaning, so badly were their lungs wasted. Very few of either sex were full-blooded Marquesans. They were mostly half-breeds and three-quarter-breeds of French, English, Danish, and Chinese extraction. At the best, these infusions of fresh blood merely delayed the passing, and the results led one to wonder whether it was worth while.

We rode on to Ho-o-u-mi. Melville was so closely guarded that he never even imagined this valley existed, though he must have constantly encountered its inhabitants, as they were part of Typee. We passed through the same abandoned pae-paes, but as we got closer to the sea, we saw a lot of coconut trees, breadfruit trees, and taro patches, along with about a dozen grass huts. We decided to spend the night in one of these huts, and preparations for a feast started right away. A young pig was quickly sent off, and while it was being roasted among hot stones, and chickens were simmering in coconut milk, I convinced one of the cooks to climb an unusually tall coconut palm. The cluster of nuts at the top was around one hundred and twenty-five feet off the ground, but that local guy confidently approached the tree, gripped it with both hands, bent at the waist so that the soles of his feet pressed flat against the trunk, and then walked straight up without stopping. There were no notches in the tree. He had no ropes to assist him. He simply walked up the tree, one hundred and twenty-five feet in the air, and tossed down the nuts from the top. Not every man there had the physical strength for such a feat, or the lung capacity, since most of them were coughing their lives away. Some of the women were continuously moaning and groaning, their lungs so badly damaged. Very few of either gender were full-blooded Marquesans. They were mostly of mixed heritage—half-breeds and three-quarter-breeds of French, English, Danish, and Chinese descent. At best, these infusions of fresh blood only delayed the inevitable, leading one to question whether it was worth it.

The feast was served on a broad pae-pae, the rear portion of which was occupied by the house in which we were to sleep. The first course was raw fish and poi-poi, the latter sharp and more acrid of taste than the poi of Hawaii, which is made from taro. The poi-poi of the Marquesas is made from breadfruit. The ripe fruit, after the core is removed, is placed in a calabash and pounded with a stone pestle into a stiff, sticky paste. In this stage of the process, wrapped in leaves, it can be buried in the ground, where it will keep for years. Before it can be eaten, however, further processes are necessary. A leaf-covered package is placed among hot stones, like the pig, and thoroughly baked. After that it is mixed with cold water and thinned out—not thin enough to run, but thin enough to be eaten by sticking one’s first and second fingers into it. On close acquaintance it proves a pleasant and most healthful food. And breadfruit, ripe and well boiled or roasted! It is delicious. Breadfruit and taro are kingly vegetables, the pair of them, though the former is patently a misnomer and more resembles a sweet potato than anything else, though it is not mealy like a sweet potato, nor is it so sweet.

The feast was served on a large pae-pae, with the back part occupied by the house where we were going to sleep. The first course featured raw fish and poi-poi, which had a sharper and more pungent taste than the poi from Hawaii, made from taro. The poi-poi of the Marquesas comes from breadfruit. The ripe fruit, after removing the core, is placed in a calabash and pounded with a stone pestle into a thick, sticky paste. At this stage, it can be wrapped in leaves and buried in the ground, where it can last for years. However, before it can be eaten, more steps are needed. A leaf-wrapped package is placed among hot stones, like the pig, and fully baked. After that, it is mixed with cold water and thinned out—not so thin that it runs, but thin enough to be eaten by sticking your first and second fingers into it. When you get to know it better, it turns out to be a pleasant and very healthy food. And ripe, well-boiled or roasted breadfruit! It's delicious. Breadfruit and taro are both royal vegetables, even though breadfruit is a bit of a misnomer as it resembles a sweet potato more than anything else, although it isn’t mealy like a sweet potato and isn't as sweet.

The feast ended, we watched the moon rise over Typee. The air was like balm, faintly scented with the breath of flowers. It was a magic night, deathly still, without the slightest breeze to stir the foliage; and one caught one’s breath and felt the pang that is almost hurt, so exquisite was the beauty of it. Faint and far could be heard the thin thunder of the surf upon the beach. There were no beds; and we drowsed and slept wherever we thought the floor softest. Near by, a woman panted and moaned in her sleep, and all about us the dying islanders coughed in the night.

The feast was over, and we watched the moon rise over Typee. The air felt soothing, lightly scented with the fragrance of flowers. It was a magical night, completely still, with not a hint of a breeze to rustle the leaves; one held their breath and felt a sharp pang, almost painful, because the beauty was so intense. Faintly in the distance, the soft roar of the surf on the beach could be heard. There were no beds, so we dozed off and slept wherever we found the floor to be the softest. Nearby, a woman breathed heavily and moaned in her sleep, and all around us, the islanders coughed quietly in the night.

CHAPTER XI
THE NATURE GUY

I first met him on Market Street in San Francisco. It was a wet and drizzly afternoon, and he was striding along, clad solely in a pair of abbreviated knee-trousers and an abbreviated shirt, his bare feet going slick-slick through the pavement-slush. At his heels trooped a score of excited gamins. Every head—and there were thousands—turned to glance curiously at him as he went by. And I turned, too. Never had I seen such lovely sunburn. He was all sunburn, of the sort a blond takes on when his skin does not peel. His long yellow hair was burnt, so was his beard, which sprang from a soil unploughed by any razor. He was a tawny man, a golden-tawny man, all glowing and radiant with the sun. Another prophet, thought I, come up to town with a message that will save the world.

I first met him on Market Street in San Francisco. It was a wet and drizzly afternoon, and he was walking confidently, wearing only a pair of short shorts and a cropped shirt, his bare feet making a slick sound on the wet pavement. Trailing behind him was a group of excited kids. Every head—and there were thousands—turned to look at him as he passed by. I looked too. I had never seen such beautiful sunburn. He was completely sunburned, the kind a blond gets when his skin doesn't peel. His long yellow hair was sun-kissed, just like his beard, which had never seen a razor. He was a tanned man, a golden-tanned man, all glowing and radiant from the sun. Another prophet, I thought, come to town with a message that could save the world.

A few weeks later I was with some friends in their bungalow in the Piedmont hills overlooking San Francisco Bay. “We’ve got him, we’ve got him,” they barked. “We caught him up a tree; but he’s all right now, he’ll feed from the hand. Come on and see him.” So I accompanied them up a dizzy hill, and in a rickety shack in the midst of a eucalyptus grove found my sunburned prophet of the city pavements.

A few weeks later, I was hanging out with some friends at their bungalow in the Piedmont hills, which overlooks San Francisco Bay. “We’ve got him, we’ve got him,” they shouted. “We found him stuck in a tree, but he’s fine now; he’ll eat from your hand. Come check him out.” So, I followed them up a steep hill and found my sunburned city prophet in a rickety shack amid a grove of eucalyptus trees.

He hastened to meet us, arriving in the whirl and blur of a handspring. He did not shake hands with us; instead, his greeting took the form of stunts. He turned more handsprings. He twisted his body sinuously, like a snake, until, having sufficiently limbered up, he bent from the hips, and, with legs straight and knees touching, beat a tattoo on the ground with the palms of his hands. He whirligigged and pirouetted, dancing and cavorting round like an inebriated ape. All the sun-warmth of his ardent life beamed in his face. I am so happy, was the song without words he sang.

He rushed to meet us, arriving in a whirlwind of energy. He didn't shake hands; instead, he greeted us with stunts. He did more handsprings. He twisted his body smoothly, like a snake, until, feeling warmed up enough, he bent at the hips and, with his legs straight and knees together, drummed the ground with his palms. He spun and twirled, dancing and prancing around like a joyful monkey. All the warmth of his vibrant life shone on his face. I am so happy was the wordless song he was singing.

He sang it all evening, ringing the changes on it with an endless variety of stunts. “A fool! a fool! I met a fool in the forest!” thought I, and a worthy fool he proved. Between handsprings and whirligigs he delivered his message that would save the world. It was twofold. First, let suffering humanity strip off its clothing and run wild in the mountains and valleys; and, second, let the very miserable world adopt phonetic spelling. I caught a glimpse of the great social problems being settled by the city populations swarming naked over the landscape, to the popping of shot-guns, the barking of ranch-dogs, and countless assaults with pitchforks wielded by irate farmers.

He sang it all evening, mixing it up with an endless variety of tricks. “A fool! A fool! I met a fool in the forest!” I thought, and he really was a worthy fool. Amidst handsprings and spins, he shared his message that could save the world. It had two parts. First, let suffering humanity take off its clothes and run wild in the mountains and valleys; and second, let the very miserable world switch to phonetic spelling. I caught a glimpse of the big social issues being resolved by city folks swarming naked across the land, with gunshots popping, ranch dogs barking, and farmers angrily swinging pitchforks.

The years passed, and, one sunny morning, the Snark poked her nose into a narrow opening in a reef that smoked with the crashing impact of the trade-wind swell, and beat slowly up Papeete harbour. Coming off to us was a boat, flying a yellow flag. We knew it contained the port doctor. But quite a distance off, in its wake, was a tiny out rigger canoe that puzzled us. It was flying a red flag. I studied it through the glasses, fearing that it marked some hidden danger to navigation, some recent wreck or some buoy or beacon that had been swept away. Then the doctor came on board. After he had examined the state of our health and been assured that we had no live rats hidden away in the Snark, I asked him the meaning of the red flag. “Oh, that is Darling,” was the answer.

The years went by, and one sunny morning, the Snark slipped her nose into a narrow opening in a reef that was churning with the crashing waves from the trade winds and slowly made its way up Papeete harbor. A boat flying a yellow flag came towards us. We knew it was the port doctor. But quite a distance away, following in its wake, was a small outrigger canoe that confused us. It was flying a red flag. I looked at it through the binoculars, worried that it signaled some hidden danger to navigation, maybe a recent wreck or a buoy or beacon that had been washed away. Then the doctor came on board. After he checked our health and confirmed that we didn’t have any live rats stowed away in the Snark, I asked him what the red flag meant. “Oh, that’s Darling,” he replied.

And then Darling, Ernest Darling flying the red flag that is indicative of the brotherhood of man, hailed us. “Hello, Jack!” he called. “Hello, Charmian!” He paddled swiftly nearer, and I saw that he was the tawny prophet of the Piedmont hills. He came over the side, a sun-god clad in a scarlet loin-cloth, with presents of Arcady and greeting in both his hands—a bottle of golden honey and a leaf-basket filled with great golden mangoes, golden bananas specked with freckles of deeper gold, golden pine-apples and golden limes, and juicy oranges minted from the same precious ore of sun and soil. And in this fashion under the southern sky, I met once more Darling, the Nature Man.

And then Darling, Ernest Darling flying the red flag symbolizing the brotherhood of man, called out to us. “Hey, Jack!” he shouted. “Hey, Charmian!” He paddled quickly closer, and I realized he was the sun-kissed prophet of the Piedmont hills. He climbed over the side, looking like a sun god dressed in a scarlet loincloth, with gifts from paradise and greetings in both hands—a bottle of golden honey and a leaf basket filled with amazing golden mangoes, golden bananas dotted with deeper gold freckles, golden pineapples, and golden limes, along with juicy oranges crafted from the same radiant blend of sun and soil. And in this way under the southern sky, I met Darling, the Nature Man, once again.

Tahiti is one of the most beautiful spots in the world, inhabited by thieves and robbers and liars, also by several honest and truthful men and women. Wherefore, because of the blight cast upon Tahiti’s wonderful beauty by the spidery human vermin that infest it, I am minded to write, not of Tahiti, but of the Nature Man. He, at least, is refreshing and wholesome. The spirit that emanates from him is so gentle and sweet that it would harm nothing, hurt nobody’s feelings save the feelings of a predatory and plutocratic capitalist.

Tahiti is one of the most beautiful places in the world, filled with thieves, robbers, and liars, but also with some honest and truthful men and women. Because of the negativity brought upon Tahiti’s stunning beauty by the human pests that inhabit it, I feel compelled to write, not about Tahiti, but about the Natural Man. He, at least, is refreshing and wholesome. The vibe that comes from him is so gentle and sweet that it would harm nothing and hurt no one’s feelings, except maybe those of a greedy and wealthy capitalist.

“What does this red flag mean?” I asked.

“What does this red flag mean?” I asked.

“Socialism, of course.”

"Socialism, obviously."

“Yes, yes, I know that,” I went on; “but what does it mean in your hands?”

“Yes, yes, I get that,” I continued; “but what does it mean for you?”

“Why, that I’ve found my message.”

“Wow, I found my message.”

“And that you are delivering it to Tahiti?” I demanded incredulously.

“And you’re really delivering it to Tahiti?” I asked in disbelief.

“Sure,” he answered simply; and later on I found that he was, too.

“Sure,” he replied casually; and later I realized that he was, as well.

When we dropped anchor, lowered a small boat into the water, and started ashore, the Nature Man joined us. Now, thought I, I shall be pestered to death by this crank. Waking or sleeping I shall never be quit of him until I sail away from here.

When we dropped anchor, lowered a small boat into the water, and headed to shore, the Nature Man came along with us. Now, I thought, I’ll be bothered to death by this weirdo. Whether I'm awake or asleep, I won’t get rid of him until I leave this place.

But never in my life was I more mistaken. I took a house and went to live and work in it, and the Nature Man never came near me. He was waiting for the invitation. In the meantime he went aboard the Snark and took possession of her library, delighted by the quantity of scientific books, and shocked, as I learned afterwards, by the inordinate amount of fiction. The Nature Man never wastes time on fiction.

But I was never more wrong in my life. I rented a house and moved in to live and work, but the Nature Man never showed up. He was waiting for me to invite him. In the meantime, he boarded the Snark and claimed her library, thrilled by the number of scientific books and, as I learned later, appalled by the excessive amount of fiction. The Nature Man never spends time on fiction.

After a week or so, my conscience smote me, and I invited him to dinner at a downtown hotel.

After about a week, I started feeling guilty, so I invited him to dinner at a downtown hotel.

He arrived, looking unwontedly stiff and uncomfortable in a cotton jacket. When invited to peel it off, he beamed his gratitude and joy, and did so, revealing his sun-gold skin, from waist to shoulder, covered only by a piece of fish-net of coarse twine and large of mesh. A scarlet loin-cloth completed his costume. I began my acquaintance with him that night, and during my long stay in Tahiti that acquaintance ripened into friendship.

He arrived, looking unusually stiff and uncomfortable in a cotton jacket. When invited to take it off, he beamed with gratitude and joy and did so, revealing his sun-kissed skin from waist to shoulder, covered only by a piece of fishnet made of coarse twine with large holes. A red loincloth completed his outfit. I started my friendship with him that night, and during my extended stay in Tahiti, that acquaintance grew into a true friendship.

“So you write books,” he said, one day when, tired and sweaty, I finished my morning’s work.

“So you write books,” he said one day when I was tired and sweaty after finishing my morning work.

“I, too, write books,” he announced.

“I also write books,” he announced.

Aha, thought I, now at last is he going to pester me with his literary efforts. My soul was in revolt. I had not come all the way to the South Seas to be a literary bureau.

Aha, I thought, finally he’s going to bother me with his writing. I was feeling rebellious. I didn’t come all the way to the South Seas to be a writing service.

“This is the book I write,” he explained, smashing himself a resounding blow on the chest with his clenched fist. “The gorilla in the African jungle pounds his chest till the noise of it can be heard half a mile away.”

“This is the book I'm writing,” he said, hitting his chest hard with his clenched fist. “The gorilla in the African jungle pounds his chest until the sound can be heard half a mile away.”

“A pretty good chest,” quoth I, admiringly; “it would even make a gorilla envious.”

“A really nice chest,” I said, admiring it; “it would even make a gorilla jealous.”

And then, and later, I learned the details of the marvellous book Ernest Darling had written. Twelve years ago he lay close to death. He weighed but ninety pounds, and was too weak to speak. The doctors had given him up. His father, a practising physician, had given him up. Consultations with other physicians had been held upon him. There was no hope for him. Overstudy (as a school-teacher and as a university student) and two successive attacks of pneumonia were responsible for his breakdown. Day by day he was losing strength. He could extract no nutrition from the heavy foods they gave him; nor could pellets and powders help his stomach to do the work of digestion. Not only was he a physical wreck, but he was a mental wreck. His mind was overwrought. He was sick and tired of medicine, and he was sick and tired of persons. Human speech jarred upon him. Human attentions drove him frantic. The thought came to him that since he was going to die, he might as well die in the open, away from all the bother and irritation. And behind this idea lurked a sneaking idea that perhaps he would not die after all if only he could escape from the heavy foods, the medicines, and the well-intentioned persons who made him frantic.

And then, later on, I learned the details of the amazing book Ernest Darling had written. Twelve years ago, he was close to death. He weighed only ninety pounds and was too weak to speak. The doctors had given up on him. His father, a practicing physician, had also given up. Consultations with other doctors had been held about him. There was no hope for him. Overworking as a school teacher and university student, along with two successive bouts of pneumonia, had caused his breakdown. Day by day, he was losing strength. He couldn't get any nutrition from the heavy foods he was given, and neither could pellets and powders help his stomach digest anything. Not only was he a physical wreck, but he was also a mental wreck. His mind was worn out. He was sick and tired of medicine, and he was fed up with people. Human speech grated on him. Human attention drove him crazy. The thought crossed his mind that since he was going to die, he might as well do so in the open, away from all the hassle and irritation. And behind this idea lurked a sneaky thought that maybe he wouldn't die after all if he could just escape the heavy foods, the medications, and the well-meaning people who drove him mad.

So Ernest Darling, a bag of bones and a death’s-head, a perambulating corpse, with just the dimmest flutter of life in it to make it perambulate, turned his back upon men and the habitations of men and dragged himself for five miles through the brush, away from the city of Portland, Oregon. Of course he was crazy. Only a lunatic would drag himself out of his death-bed.

So Ernest Darling, a skeleton of a man and a living ghost, barely clinging to life, turned his back on people and their homes and dragged himself for five miles through the brush, away from the city of Portland, Oregon. Of course, he was insane. Only someone out of their mind would pull themselves out of their deathbed.

But in the brush, Darling found what he was looking for—rest. Nobody bothered him with beefsteaks and pork. No physicians lacerated his tired nerves by feeling his pulse, nor tormented his tired stomach with pellets and powders. He began to feel soothed. The sun was shining warm, and he basked in it. He had the feeling that the sun shine was an elixir of health. Then it seemed to him that his whole wasted wreck of a body was crying for the sun. He stripped off his clothes and bathed in the sunshine. He felt better. It had done him good—the first relief in weary months of pain.

But in the thicket, Darling found what he was searching for—peace. Nobody bothered him with steak and pork. No doctors irritated his tired nerves by checking his pulse, nor stressed his exhausted stomach with pills and powders. He started to feel relaxed. The sun was shining warmly, and he soaked it up. He felt like the sunshine was a cure for his health. Then it seemed to him that his whole worn-out body was craving the sun. He took off his clothes and soaked up the sunshine. He felt better. It had helped him—the first relief in many long months of pain.

As he grew better, he sat up and began to take notice. All about him were the birds fluttering and chirping, the squirrels chattering and playing. He envied them their health and spirits, their happy, care-free existence. That he should contrast their condition with his was inevitable; and that he should question why they were splendidly vigorous while he was a feeble, dying wraith of a man, was likewise inevitable. His conclusion was the very obvious one, namely, that they lived naturally, while he lived most unnaturally; therefore, if he intended to live, he must return to nature.

As he got better, he sat up and started to pay attention. All around him were birds fluttering and chirping, and squirrels chattering and playing. He envied their health and energy, their happy, carefree lives. It was unavoidable for him to compare their situation with his, and it was also natural for him to wonder why they were so full of life while he was just a weak, dying shadow of a man. His conclusion was quite obvious: they lived naturally, while he lived in an unnatural way; so, if he wanted to survive, he needed to go back to nature.

Alone, there in the brush, he worked out his problem and began to apply it. He stripped off his clothing and leaped and gambolled about, running on all fours, climbing trees; in short, doing physical stunts,—and all the time soaking in the sunshine. He imitated the animals. He built a nest of dry leaves and grasses in which to sleep at night, covering it over with bark as a protection against the early fall rains. “Here is a beautiful exercise,” he told me, once, flapping his arms mightily against his sides; “I learned it from watching the roosters crow.” Another time I remarked the loud, sucking intake with which he drank cocoanut-milk. He explained that he had noticed the cows drinking that way and concluded there must be something in it. He tried it and found it good, and thereafter he drank only in that fashion.

Alone in the bushes, he figured out his problem and started to put it into practice. He took off his clothes and jumped around, running on all fours, climbing trees; in short, doing physical stunts, all while soaking up the sunshine. He copied the animals. He made a nest out of dry leaves and grasses to sleep in at night, covering it with bark to protect against the early fall rain. “This is a great exercise,” he once told me, flapping his arms vigorously against his sides; “I learned it from watching the roosters crow.” Another time, I noticed the loud, sucking sound he made while drinking coconut milk. He explained that he had seen cows drinking that way and figured there must be something to it. He tried it, liked it, and from then on, he only drank like that.

He noted that the squirrels lived on fruits and nuts. He started on a fruit-and-nut diet, helped out by bread, and he grew stronger and put on weight. For three months he continued his primordial existence in the brush, and then the heavy Oregon rains drove him back to the habitations of men. Not in three months could a ninety-pound survivor of two attacks of pneumonia develop sufficient ruggedness to live through an Oregon winter in the open.

He observed that the squirrels fed on fruits and nuts. He switched to a fruit-and-nut diet, supplemented with bread, and he became stronger and gained weight. For three months, he kept up his basic existence in the brush, but then the heavy Oregon rains pushed him back to human settlements. Not in three months could a ninety-pound survivor of two bouts of pneumonia build up enough toughness to survive an Oregon winter outdoors.

He had accomplished much, but he had been driven in. There was no place to go but back to his father’s house, and there, living in close rooms with lungs that panted for all the air of the open sky, he was brought down by a third attack of pneumonia. He grew weaker even than before. In that tottering tabernacle of flesh, his brain collapsed. He lay like a corpse, too weak to stand the fatigue of speaking, too irritated and tired in his miserable brain to care to listen to the speech of others. The only act of will of which he was capable was to stick his fingers in his ears and resolutely to refuse to hear a single word that was spoken to him. They sent for the insanity experts. He was adjudged insane, and also the verdict was given that he would not live a month.

He had achieved a lot, but he felt trapped. The only place to go was back to his father's house, where, living in cramped rooms with lungs craving the open air, he suffered a third bout of pneumonia. He grew even weaker than before. In that shaky body, his mind gave in. He lay there like a corpse, too weak to even talk, too fatigued and frustrated in his miserable mind to care about listening to others. The only act of will he could muster was to plug his ears and stubbornly refuse to hear a single word directed at him. They called in the mental health professionals. They declared him insane, and also said he wouldn’t survive more than a month.

By one such mental expert he was carted off to a sanatorium on Mt. Tabor. Here, when they learned that he was harmless, they gave him his own way. They no longer dictated as to the food he ate, so he resumed his fruits and nuts—olive oil, peanut butter, and bananas the chief articles of his diet. As he regained his strength he made up his mind to live thenceforth his own life. If he lived like others, according to social conventions, he would surely die. And he did not want to die. The fear of death was one of the strongest factors in the genesis of the Nature Man. To live, he must have a natural diet, the open air, and the blessed sunshine.

By one such mental expert, he was taken to a sanatorium on Mt. Tabor. Here, once they realized he was harmless, they let him do what he wanted. They stopped controlling what he ate, so he went back to his fruits and nuts—olive oil, peanut butter, and bananas being the main staples of his diet. As he regained his strength, he decided to live his own life from then on. If he lived like everyone else, following social norms, he would definitely die. And he didn’t want to die. The fear of death was one of the biggest reasons behind the creation of the Nature Man. To survive, he needed a natural diet, fresh air, and the wonderful sunshine.

Now an Oregon winter has no inducements for those who wish to return to Nature, so Darling started out in search of a climate. He mounted a bicycle and headed south for the sunlands. Stanford University claimed him for a year. Here he studied and worked his way, attending lectures in as scant garb as the authorities would allow and applying as much as possible the principles of living that he had learned in squirrel-town. His favourite method of study was to go off in the hills back of the University, and there to strip off his clothes and lie on the grass, soaking in sunshine and health at the same time that he soaked in knowledge.

Now, an Oregon winter offers little appeal for those eager to reconnect with nature, so Darling set out in search of a better climate. He hopped on his bike and rode south toward sunnier areas. Stanford University took him in for a year. There, he studied and made his way through his classes, attending lectures in as little clothing as the school would permit and applying as many of the living principles he had learned in squirrel-town as he could. His favorite way to study was to venture into the hills behind the university, where he would strip off his clothes and lie on the grass, soaking up sunshine and health while also absorbing knowledge.

But Central California has her winters, and the quest for a Nature Man’s climate drew him on. He tried Los Angeles and Southern California, being arrested a few times and brought before the insanity commissions because, forsooth, his mode of life was not modelled after the mode of life of his fellow-men. He tried Hawaii, where, unable to prove him insane, the authorities deported him. It was not exactly a deportation. He could have remained by serving a year in prison. They gave him his choice. Now prison is death to the Nature Man, who thrives only in the open air and in God’s sunshine. The authorities of Hawaii are not to be blamed. Darling was an undesirable citizen. Any man is undesirable who disagrees with one. And that any man should disagree to the extent Darling did in his philosophy of the simple life is ample vindication of the Hawaiian authorities verdict of his undesirableness.

But Central California has its winters, and the search for a Nature Man’s climate kept him going. He tried Los Angeles and Southern California, getting arrested a few times and brought before mental health boards because, honestly, his way of life wasn’t like that of most people. He tried Hawaii, where, unable to prove he was insane, the authorities deported him. It wasn’t exactly a deportation; he could have stayed by serving a year in prison. They gave him the choice. Now, prison is like death to the Nature Man, who can only thrive outdoors in God’s sunshine. The authorities in Hawaii shouldn’t be blamed. Darling was seen as an undesirable citizen. Anyone is undesirable if they disagree with the majority. And the fact that Darling disagreed so much in his philosophy of the simple life is enough to justify the Hawaiian authorities’ judgment of his undesirability.

So Darling went thence in search of a climate which would not only be desirable, but wherein he would not be undesirable. And he found it in Tahiti, the garden-spot of garden-spots. And so it was, according to the narrative as given, that he wrote the pages of his book. He wears only a loin-cloth and a sleeveless fish-net shirt. His stripped weight is one hundred and sixty-five pounds. His health is perfect. His eyesight, that at one time was considered ruined, is excellent. The lungs that were practically destroyed by three attacks of pneumonia have not only recovered, but are stronger than ever before.

So Darling left in search of a place that would not only be appealing but where he wouldn’t stand out negatively. He found it in Tahiti, the most beautiful place of all. According to the story, that’s where he wrote the pages of his book. He wears just a loincloth and a sleeveless fishnet shirt. He weighs one hundred sixty-five pounds without clothes on. His health is great. His eyesight, which was once thought to be ruined, is now excellent. His lungs, which were almost destroyed by three bouts of pneumonia, have not only healed but are stronger than ever.

I shall never forget the first time, while talking to me, that he squashed a mosquito. The stinging pest had settled in the middle of his back between his shoulders. Without interrupting the flow of conversation, without dropping even a syllable, his clenched fist shot up in the air, curved backward, and smote his back between the shoulders, killing the mosquito and making his frame resound like a bass drum. It reminded me of nothing so much as of horses kicking the woodwork in their stalls.

I’ll never forget the first time he squashed a mosquito while talking to me. The annoying bug had landed in the middle of his back between his shoulders. Without skipping a beat in our conversation or dropping a word, his clenched fist shot up into the air, curved back, and smacked his back between the shoulders, killing the mosquito and making his body thud like a bass drum. It reminded me of horses kicking the wood in their stalls.

“The gorilla in the African jungle pounds his chest until the noise of it can be heard half a mile away,” he will announce suddenly, and thereat beat a hair-raising, devil’s tattoo on his own chest.

“The gorilla in the African jungle pounds his chest until the sound can be heard half a mile away,” he suddenly announces, and then he starts beating a terrifying, devilish rhythm on his own chest.

One day he noticed a set of boxing-gloves hanging on the wall, and promptly his eyes brightened.

One day he spotted a pair of boxing gloves hanging on the wall, and immediately his eyes lit up.

“Do you box?” I asked.

“Do you box?” I asked.

“I used to give lessons in boxing when I was at Stanford,” was the reply.

“I used to teach boxing when I was at Stanford,” was the reply.

And there and then we stripped and put on the gloves. Bang! a long, gorilla arm flashed out, landing the gloved end on my nose. Biff! he caught me, in a duck, on the side of the head nearly knocking me over sidewise. I carried the lump raised by that blow for a week. I ducked under a straight left, and landed a straight right on his stomach. It was a fearful blow. The whole weight of my body was behind it, and his body had been met as it lunged forward. I looked for him to crumple up and go down. Instead of which his face beamed approval, and he said, “That was beautiful.” The next instant I was covering up and striving to protect myself from a hurricane of hooks, jolts, and uppercuts. Then I watched my chance and drove in for the solar plexus. I hit the mark. The Nature Man dropped his arms, gasped, and sat down suddenly.

And right there we took off our clothes and put on the gloves. Bang! A long, gorilla-like arm shot out, hitting me on the nose with the gloved end. Biff! He caught me in a duck on the side of the head, nearly knocking me over. I dealt with the lump from that hit for a week. I ducked under a straight left and landed a solid right to his stomach. It was a heavy blow, with my entire weight behind it, hitting him as he lunged forward. I expected him to crumble and go down. Instead, his face lit up with approval, and he said, “That was beautiful.” The next moment, I was covering up and trying to protect myself from a storm of hooks, jolts, and uppercuts. Then I saw my opportunity and went for the solar plexus. I hit the target. The Nature Man dropped his arms, gasped, and suddenly sat down.

“I’ll be all right,” he said. “Just wait a moment.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “Just wait a second.”

And inside thirty seconds he was on his feet—ay, and returning the compliment, for he hooked me in the solar plexus, and I gasped, dropped my hands, and sat down just a trifle more suddenly than he had.

And within thirty seconds, he was up on his feet—yeah, and returning the favor, because he punched me in the solar plexus, and I gasped, dropped my hands, and sat down just a bit more suddenly than he had.

All of which I submit as evidence that the man I boxed with was a totally different man from the poor, ninety-pound weight of eight years before, who, given up by physicians and alienists, lay gasping his life away in a closed room in Portland, Oregon. The book that Ernest Darling has written is a good book, and the binding is good, too.

All of this serves as proof that the man I fought was completely different from the frail, ninety-pound guy from eight years ago, who was given up by doctors and mental health experts, gasping for his last breath in a locked room in Portland, Oregon. The book that Ernest Darling wrote is a good read, and the binding is solid, too.

Hawaii has wailed for years her need for desirable immigrants. She has spent much time, and thought, and money, in importing desirable citizens, and she has, as yet, nothing much to show for it. Yet Hawaii deported the Nature Man. She refused to give him a chance. So it is, to chasten Hawaii’s proud spirit, that I take this opportunity to show her what she has lost in the Nature Man. When he arrived in Tahiti, he proceeded to seek out a piece of land on which to grow the food he ate. But land was difficult to find—that is, inexpensive land. The Nature Man was not rolling in wealth. He spent weeks in wandering over the steep hills, until, high up the mountain, where clustered several tiny canyons, he found eighty acres of brush-jungle which were apparently unrecorded as the property of any one. The government officials told him that if he would clear the land and till it for thirty years he would be given a title for it.

Hawaii has long lamented her need for desirable immigrants. She has invested a lot of time, thought, and money into bringing in the right citizens, yet so far, she hasn’t achieved much success. Still, Hawaii deported the Nature Man. She didn’t give him a chance. Therefore, to humble Hawaii’s proud spirit, I take this opportunity to show her what she lost in the Nature Man. When he arrived in Tahiti, he set out to find a piece of land to grow the food he needed. However, finding affordable land was a challenge. The Nature Man wasn't wealthy. He spent weeks wandering over the steep hills until, high up the mountain, where several small canyons converged, he discovered eighty acres of brush-jungle that didn’t seem to belong to anyone. The government officials told him that if he cleared the land and farmed it for thirty years, he would be granted a title to it.

Immediately he set to work. And never was there such work. Nobody farmed that high up. The land was covered with matted jungle and overrun by wild pigs and countless rats. The view of Papeete and the sea was magnificent, but the outlook was not encouraging. He spent weeks in building a road in order to make the plantation accessible. The pigs and the rats ate up whatever he planted as fast as it sprouted. He shot the pigs and trapped the rats. Of the latter, in two weeks he caught fifteen hundred. Everything had to be carried up on his back. He usually did his packhorse work at night.

Immediately he got to work. And it was intense work. Nobody farmed that high up. The land was thick with tangled jungle and swarmed with wild pigs and countless rats. The view of Papeete and the sea was breathtaking, but the prospects were grim. He spent weeks building a road to make the plantation accessible. The pigs and rats devoured everything he planted as soon as it started to grow. He shot the pigs and trapped the rats. In just two weeks, he caught fifteen hundred rats. Everything had to be carried up on his back. He usually did his packing work at night.

Gradually he began to win out. A grass-walled house was built. On the fertile, volcanic soil he had wrested from the jungle and jungle beasts were growing five hundred cocoanut trees, five hundred papaia trees, three hundred mango trees, many breadfruit trees and alligator-pear trees, to say nothing of vines, bushes, and vegetables. He developed the drip of the hills in the canyons and worked out an efficient irrigation scheme, ditching the water from canyon to canyon and paralleling the ditches at different altitudes. His narrow canyons became botanical gardens. The arid shoulders of the hills, where formerly the blazing sun had parched the jungle and beaten it close to earth, blossomed into trees and shrubs and flowers. Not only had the Nature Man become self-supporting, but he was now a prosperous agriculturist with produce to sell to the city-dwellers of Papeete.

Slowly, he started to succeed. A house with grass walls was built. On the rich, volcanic soil he had cleared from the jungle, he was growing five hundred coconut trees, five hundred papaya trees, three hundred mango trees, many breadfruit trees, and avocado trees, not to mention vines, bushes, and vegetables. He utilized the hills' natural flow in the canyons and developed an effective irrigation system, channeling water from canyon to canyon and having ditches at different heights. His narrow canyons turned into botanical gardens. The dry slopes of the hills, where the scorching sun had once scorched the jungle and flattened it, now flourished with trees, shrubs, and flowers. Not only had the Nature Man become self-sufficient, but he was also a successful farmer, with produce to sell to the residents of Papeete.

Then it was discovered that his land, which the government officials had informed him was without an owner, really had an owner, and that deeds, descriptions, etc., were on record. All his work bade fare to be lost. The land had been valueless when he took it up, and the owner, a large landholder, was unaware of the extent to which the Nature Man had developed it. A just price was agreed upon, and Darling’s deed was officially filed.

Then it was found out that his land, which the government officials had told him was ownerless, actually had an owner, and that documents, descriptions, etc., were on file. All his hard work was about to go to waste. The land had been worthless when he claimed it, and the owner, a big landholder, didn’t realize how much the Nature Man had improved it. A fair price was settled, and Darling’s deed was officially recorded.

Next came a more crushing blow. Darling’s access to market was destroyed. The road he had built was fenced across by triple barb-wire fences. It was one of those jumbles in human affairs that is so common in this absurdest of social systems. Behind it was the fine hand of the same conservative element that haled the Nature Man before the Insanity Commission in Los Angeles and that deported him from Hawaii. It is so hard for self-satisfied men to understand any man whose satisfactions are fundamentally different. It seems clear that the officials have connived with the conservative element, for to this day the road the Nature Man built is closed; nothing has been done about it, while an adamant unwillingness to do anything about it is evidenced on every hand. But the Nature Man dances and sings along his way. He does not sit up nights thinking about the wrong which has been done him; he leaves the worrying to the doers of the wrong. He has no time for bitterness. He believes he is in the world for the purpose of being happy, and he has not a moment to waste in any other pursuit.

Next came a more devastating blow. Darling’s access to the market was destroyed. The road he had built was blocked off by triple barbed wire fences. It was one of those messy situations in human affairs that is so common in this ridiculous social system. Behind it was the same conservative group that had dragged the Nature Man before the Insanity Commission in Los Angeles and had deported him from Hawaii. It’s tough for self-satisfied people to understand anyone whose happiness is fundamentally different. It seems obvious that the officials have teamed up with the conservative element, since to this day the road the Nature Man built is still closed; nothing has been done about it, and there's a clear unwillingness to address it. But the Nature Man continues to dance and sing along his way. He doesn't spend sleepless nights dwelling on the wrongs done to him; he lets the wrongdoers do the worrying. He has no time for bitterness. He believes he’s in the world to be happy, and he won’t waste a moment on anything else.

The road to his plantation is blocked. He cannot build a new road, for there is no ground on which he can build it. The government has restricted him to a wild-pig trail which runs precipitously up the mountain. I climbed the trail with him, and we had to climb with hands and feet in order to get up. Nor can that wild-pig trail be made into a road by any amount of toil less than that of an engineer, a steam-engine, and a steel cable. But what does the Nature Man care? In his gentle ethics the evil men do him he requites with goodness. And who shall say he is not happier than they?

The road to his plantation is blocked. He can’t build a new road because there’s no land to do it on. The government has limited him to a wild-pig trail that steeply goes up the mountain. I climbed the trail with him, and we had to use our hands and feet to make it up. That wild-pig trail can’t be turned into a road without the effort of an engineer, a steam engine, and a steel cable. But what does the Nature Man care? In his gentle way, he responds to the wrongs done to him with kindness. And who can say he isn’t happier than they are?

“Never mind their pesky road,” he said to me as we dragged ourselves up a shelf of rock and sat down, panting, to rest. “I’ll get an air machine soon and fool them. I’m clearing a level space for a landing stage for the airships, and next time you come to Tahiti you will alight right at my door.”

“Forget about their annoying road,” he said to me as we climbed up a rock ledge and sat down, breathing heavily, to rest. “I’ll get an aircraft soon and outsmart them. I’m making a flat area for a landing spot for the airships, and next time you visit Tahiti, you’ll land right at my doorstep.”

Yes, the Nature Man has some strange ideas besides that of the gorilla pounding his chest in the African jungle. The Nature Man has ideas about levitation. “Yes, sir,” he said to me, “levitation is not impossible. And think of the glory of it—lifting one’s self from the ground by an act of will. Think of it! The astronomers tell us that our whole solar system is dying; that, barring accidents, it will all be so cold that no life can live upon it. Very well. In that day all men will be accomplished levitationists, and they will leave this perishing planet and seek more hospitable worlds. How can levitation be accomplished? By progressive fasts. Yes, I have tried them, and toward the end I could feel myself actually getting lighter.”

Yes, the Nature Man has some unusual ideas besides the one about the gorilla pounding its chest in the African jungle. The Nature Man believes in levitation. “Yes, sir,” he said to me, “levitation isn’t impossible. And think of the glory of it—lifting yourself off the ground through sheer willpower. Imagine it! Astronomers tell us that our entire solar system is dying; that, unless something unexpected happens, it will eventually become so cold that no life can survive. So, in that time, everyone will be skilled at levitation and will leave this dying planet to find more welcoming worlds. How can levitation be achieved? Through progressive fasting. Yes, I’ve tried it, and towards the end, I could really feel myself getting lighter.”

The man is a maniac, thought I.

The guy is a maniac, I thought.

“Of course,” he added, “these are only theories of mine. I like to speculate upon the glorious future of man. Levitation may not be possible, but I like to think of it as possible.”

“Of course,” he added, “these are just my theories. I enjoy thinking about the amazing future of humanity. Levitation might not be achievable, but I like to imagine it is.”

One evening, when he yawned, I asked him how much sleep he allowed himself.

One evening, when he yawned, I asked him how much sleep he got.

“Seven hours,” was the answer. “But in ten years I’ll be sleeping only six hours, and in twenty years only five hours. You see, I shall cut off an hour’s sleep every ten years.”

“Seven hours,” was the answer. “But in ten years I’ll be sleeping only six hours, and in twenty years only five hours. You see, I’ll reduce my sleep by an hour every ten years.”

“Then when you are a hundred you won’t be sleeping at all,” I interjected.

“Then when you’re a hundred, you won’t be sleeping at all,” I interrupted.

“Just that. Exactly that. When I am a hundred I shall not require sleep. Also, I shall be living on air. There are plants that live on air, you know.”

“Just that. Exactly that. When I’m a hundred, I won’t need sleep. Also, I’ll be living off air. There are plants that live on air, you know.”

“But has any man ever succeeded in doing it?”

“But has any man ever managed to do it?”

He shook his head.

He shook his head.

“I never heard of him if he did. But it is only a theory of mine, this living on air. It would be fine, wouldn’t it? Of course it may be impossible—most likely it is. You see, I am not unpractical. I never forget the present. When I soar ahead into the future, I always leave a string by which to find my way back again.”

“I never heard of him if he did. But it’s just my theory about living on air. It would be great, right? Of course, it might be impossible—most likely it is. You see, I’m not impractical. I never forget the present. When I look ahead into the future, I always leave a string to find my way back.”

I fear me the Nature Man is a joker. At any rate he lives the simple life. His laundry bill cannot be large. Up on his plantation he lives on fruit the labour cost of which, in cash, he estimates at five cents a day. At present, because of his obstructed road and because he is head over heels in the propaganda of socialism, he is living in town, where his expenses, including rent, are twenty-five cents a day. In order to pay those expenses he is running a night school for Chinese.

I’m afraid the Nature Man is a bit of a jokester. Either way, he lives a simple life. His laundry bill can’t be very high. Up on his farm, he survives on fruit that he figures costs him about five cents a day. Right now, because his road is blocked and he’s deeply involved in promoting socialism, he’s living in town, where his expenses, including rent, are twenty-five cents a day. To cover those expenses, he’s running a night school for Chinese students.

The Nature Man is not bigoted. When there is nothing better to eat than meat, he eats meat, as, for instance, when in jail or on shipboard and the nuts and fruits give out. Nor does he seem to crystallize into anything except sunburn.

The Nature Man isn't narrow-minded. When there's nothing better to eat than meat, he eats meat, such as when he's in jail or on a ship and the nuts and fruits run out. He also doesn't seem to settle into anything except for a sunburn.

“Drop anchor anywhere and the anchor will drag—that is, if your soul is a limitless, fathomless sea, and not dog-pound,” he quoted to me, then added: “You see, my anchor is always dragging. I live for human health and progress, and I strive to drag my anchor always in that direction. To me, the two are identical. Dragging anchor is what has saved me. My anchor did not hold me to my death-bed. I dragged anchor into the brush and fooled the doctors. When I recovered health and strength, I started, by preaching and by example, to teach the people to become nature men and nature women. But they had deaf ears. Then, on the steamer coming to Tahiti, a quarter-master expounded socialism to me. He showed me that an economic square deal was necessary before men and women could live naturally. So I dragged anchor once more, and now I am working for the co-operative commonwealth. When that arrives, it will be easy to bring about nature living.

“Drop anchor anywhere, and it will drag—that is, if your soul is a boundless, deep ocean, and not a shelter for stray dogs,” he quoted to me, then added: “You see, my anchor is always dragging. I live for human health and progress, and I always strive to pull my anchor in that direction. For me, they are the same. Dragging anchor is what has saved me. My anchor didn’t keep me tied to my deathbed. I dragged anchor into the bushes and tricked the doctors. When I regained my health and strength, I started, through preaching and example, to teach people to become natural men and women. But they weren't listening. Then, on the steamer to Tahiti, a quarter-master explained socialism to me. He showed me that a fair economic system was necessary before men and women could live naturally. So I pulled my anchor again, and now I’m working for the co-operative commonwealth. When that comes, it will be easy to achieve natural living.

“I had a dream last night,” he went on thoughtfully, his face slowly breaking into a glow. “It seemed that twenty-five nature men and nature women had just arrived on the steamer from California, and that I was starting to go with them up the wild-pig trail to the plantation.”

“I had a dream last night,” he continued thoughtfully, his face gradually lighting up. “It felt like twenty-five nature men and women just got off a steamer from California, and I was about to join them on the wild-pig trail to the plantation.”

Ah, me, Ernest Darling, sun-worshipper and nature man, there are times when I am compelled to envy you and your carefree existence. I see you now, dancing up the steps and cutting antics on the veranda; your hair dripping from a plunge in the salt sea, your eyes sparkling, your sun-gilded body flashing, your chest resounding to the devil’s own tattoo as you chant: “The gorilla in the African jungle pounds his chest until the noise of it can be heard half a mile away.” And I shall see you always as I saw you that last day, when the Snark poked her nose once more through the passage in the smoking reef, outward bound, and I waved good-bye to those on shore. Not least in goodwill and affection was the wave I gave to the golden sun-god in the scarlet loin-cloth, standing upright in his tiny outrigger canoe.

Ah, me, Ernest Darling, sun-lover and nature enthusiast, there are moments when I can’t help but envy you and your easygoing life. I see you now, dancing up the steps and goofing around on the porch; your hair dripping from a dive in the ocean, your eyes sparkling, your sun-kissed body shining, your chest thumping to the rhythm of the devil himself as you sing: “The gorilla in the African jungle pounds his chest until the sound travels half a mile away.” And I’ll always remember you as I did that last day, when the Snark poked her nose once again through the passage in the smoking reef, setting out to sea, and I waved goodbye to those on the shore. Not least in goodwill and affection was the wave I gave to the golden sun-god in the red loincloth, standing tall in his tiny outrigger canoe.

CHAPTER XII
THE THRONE OF ABUNDANCE

On the arrival of strangers, every man endeavoured to obtain one as a friend and carry him off to his own habitation, where he is treated with the greatest kindness by the inhabitants of the district; they place him on a high seat and feed him with abundance of the finest food.—Polynesian Researches.

When strangers arrived, everyone tried to befriend one and take him to their home, where the locals showed exceptional kindness; they offered him a high seat and served him a lot of the best food.—Polynesian Researches.

The Snark was lying at anchor at Raiatea, just off the village of Uturoa. She had arrived the night before, after dark, and we were preparing to pay our first visit ashore. Early in the morning I had noticed a tiny outrigger canoe, with an impossible spritsail, skimming the surface of the lagoon. The canoe itself was coffin-shaped, a mere dugout, fourteen feet long, a scant twelve inches wide, and maybe twenty-four inches deep. It had no lines, except in so far that it was sharp at both ends. Its sides were perpendicular. Shorn of the outrigger, it would have capsized of itself inside a tenth of a second. It was the outrigger that kept it right side up.

The Snark was anchored at Raiatea, just off the village of Uturoa. She had arrived the previous night after dark, and we were getting ready for our first trip ashore. Early in the morning, I spotted a tiny outrigger canoe with a strange spritsail gliding across the lagoon. The canoe was coffin-shaped, just a simple dugout, fourteen feet long, barely twelve inches wide, and maybe twenty-four inches deep. It had no defining lines, except that it was pointed at both ends. Its sides were straight up and down. Without the outrigger, it would have tipped over in less than a second. It was the outrigger that kept it steady.

I have said that the sail was impossible. It was. It was one of those things, not that you have to see to believe, but that you cannot believe after you have seen it. The hoist of it and the length of its boom were sufficiently appalling; but, not content with that, its artificer had given it a tremendous head. So large was the head that no common sprit could carry the strain of it in an ordinary breeze. So a spar had been lashed to the canoe, projecting aft over the water. To this had been made fast a sprit guy: thus, the foot of the sail was held by the main-sheet, and the peak by the guy to the sprit.

I said the sail was impossible. It was. It was one of those things that you don’t need to see to believe, but once you see it, you can’t believe it. The height of it and the length of its boom were really shocking; but, as if that wasn’t enough, its creator had given it an enormous head. The head was so big that no ordinary sprit could handle the strain in a regular breeze. So, a spar was tied to the canoe, sticking out over the water at the back. A sprit guy was attached to this, which meant that the foot of the sail was secured by the main-sheet, and the peak was held by the guy connected to the sprit.

It was not a mere boat, not a mere canoe, but a sailing machine. And the man in it sailed it by his weight and his nerve—principally by the latter. I watched the canoe beat up from leeward and run in toward the village, its sole occupant far out on the outrigger and luffing up and spilling the wind in the puffs.

It wasn’t just a boat, or just a canoe; it was a sailing machine. The man in it navigated by shifting his weight and relying mostly on his nerve. I watched the canoe come from downwind and head toward the village, its only rider out on the outrigger, adjusting the sail and letting the wind out in the gusts.

“Well, I know one thing,” I announced; “I don’t leave Raiatea till I have a ride in that canoe.”

“Well, I know one thing,” I said; “I’m not leaving Raiatea until I get a ride in that canoe.”

A few minutes later Warren called down the companionway, “Here’s that canoe you were talking about.”

A few minutes later, Warren called down the hallway, “Here’s that canoe you were talking about.”

Promptly I dashed on deck and gave greeting to its owner, a tall, slender Polynesian, ingenuous of face, and with clear, sparkling, intelligent eyes. He was clad in a scarlet loin-cloth and a straw hat. In his hands were presents—a fish, a bunch of greens, and several enormous yams. All of which acknowledged by smiles (which are coinage still in isolated spots of Polynesia) and by frequent repetitions of mauruuru (which is the Tahitian “thank you”), I proceeded to make signs that I desired to go for a sail in his canoe.

I quickly ran on deck and greeted its owner, a tall, slender Polynesian with an innocent face and bright, intelligent eyes. He wore a red loincloth and a straw hat. In his hands, he held gifts—a fish, a bunch of greens, and several large yams. I acknowledged all of this with smiles (which still hold value in remote parts of Polynesia) and by frequently saying mauruuru (which means “thank you” in Tahitian). Then, I started to gesture that I wanted to go for a sail in his canoe.

His face lighted with pleasure and he uttered the single word, “Tahaa,” turning at the same time and pointing to the lofty, cloud-draped peaks of an island three miles away—the island of Tahaa. It was fair wind over, but a head-beat back. Now I did not want to go to Tahaa. I had letters to deliver in Raiatea, and officials to see, and there was Charmian down below getting ready to go ashore. By insistent signs I indicated that I desired no more than a short sail on the lagoon. Quick was the disappointment in his face, yet smiling was the acquiescence.

His face lit up with happiness as he said just one word, “Tahaa,” while turning and pointing to the tall, cloud-covered peaks of an island three miles away—the island of Tahaa. The wind was good for going there, but it was against us coming back. I didn't want to go to Tahaa, though. I had letters to deliver in Raiatea and officials to meet, and Charmian was down below getting ready to go ashore. I made it clear with gestures that I only wanted a short sail on the lagoon. He looked disappointed for a moment, but then he smiled and went along with it.

“Come on for a sail,” I called below to Charmian. “But put on your swimming suit. It’s going to be wet.”

“Come on out for a sail,” I shouted down to Charmian. “But put on your swimsuit. It’s going to get wet.”

It wasn’t real. It was a dream. That canoe slid over the water like a streak of silver. I climbed out on the outrigger and supplied the weight to hold her down, while Tehei (pronounced Tayhayee) supplied the nerve. He, too, in the puffs, climbed part way out on the outrigger, at the same time steering with both hands on a large paddle and holding the mainsheet with his foot.

It wasn’t real. It was a dream. That canoe glided over the water like a flash of silver. I climbed out onto the outrigger and provided the weight to keep it steady, while Tehei (pronounced Tayhayee) provided the courage. He also climbed partway out on the outrigger, steering with both hands on a large paddle while holding the mainsheet with his foot.

“Ready about!” he called.

“Get ready!” he called.

I carefully shifted my weight inboard in order to maintain the equilibrium as the sail emptied.

I carefully shifted my weight inward to keep my balance as the sail lost wind.

“Hard a-lee!” he called, shooting her into the wind.

“Hard a-lee!” he shouted, sending her into the wind.

I slid out on the opposite side over the water on a spar lashed across the canoe, and we were full and away on the other tack.

I slid out on the other side over the water on a spar tied across the canoe, and we were full and away on the other tack.

“All right,” said Tehei.

"Okay," said Tehei.

Those three phrases, “Ready about,” “Hard a-lee,” and “All right,” comprised Tehei’s English vocabulary and led me to suspect that at some time he had been one of a Kanaka crew under an American captain. Between the puffs I made signs to him and repeatedly and interrogatively uttered the word sailor. Then I tried it in atrocious French. Marin conveyed no meaning to him; nor did matelot. Either my French was bad, or else he was not up in it. I have since concluded that both conjectures were correct. Finally, I began naming over the adjacent islands. He nodded that he had been to them. By the time my quest reached Tahiti, he caught my drift. His thought-processes were almost visible, and it was a joy to watch him think. He nodded his head vigorously. Yes, he had been to Tahiti, and he added himself names of islands such as Tikihau, Rangiroa, and Fakarava, thus proving that he had sailed as far as the Paumotus—undoubtedly one of the crew of a trading schooner.

Those three phrases, “Ready about,” “Hard a-lee,” and “All right,” made up Tehei’s English vocabulary and made me suspect that at some point he had been part of a Kanaka crew under an American captain. Between puffs, I gestured to him and repeatedly asked the word sailor. Then I tried saying it in terrible French. Marin didn’t mean anything to him, nor did matelot. Either my French was bad, or he just didn’t understand it. I eventually concluded that both were true. Finally, I started naming the nearby islands. He nodded that he had been to them. By the time I got to Tahiti, he understood what I meant. You could almost see him thinking, and it was a joy to watch. He nodded his head vigorously. Yes, he had been to Tahiti, and he went on to name islands like Tikihau, Rangiroa, and Fakarava, proving that he had sailed as far as the Paumotus—undoubtedly one of the crew of a trading schooner.

After our short sail, when he had returned on board, he by signs inquired the destination of the Snark, and when I had mentioned Samoa, Fiji, New Guinea, France, England, and California in their geographical sequence, he said “Samoa,” and by gestures intimated that he wanted to go along. Whereupon I was hard put to explain that there was no room for him. “Petit bateau” finally solved it, and again the disappointment in his face was accompanied by smiling acquiescence, and promptly came the renewed invitation to accompany him to Tahaa.

After our brief sail, when he came back on board, he used gestures to ask about the destination of the Snark. When I listed Samoa, Fiji, New Guinea, France, England, and California in order, he pointed to “Samoa” and indicated that he wanted to join. I struggled to explain that there wasn’t enough space for him. “Petit bateau” finally cleared that up, and once again, his disappointment was evident, but he accepted it with a smile and immediately invited me to come with him to Tahaa.

Charmian and I looked at each other. The exhilaration of the ride we had taken was still upon us. Forgotten were the letters to Raiatea, the officials we had to visit. Shoes, a shirt, a pair of trousers, cigarettes, matches, and a book to read were hastily crammed into a biscuit tin and wrapped in a rubber blanket, and we were over the side and into the canoe.

Charmian and I exchanged glances. We were still buzzing from the thrill of our ride. The letters to Raiatea and the officials we needed to see were completely forgotten. We quickly stuffed a biscuit tin with shoes, a shirt, a pair of pants, cigarettes, matches, and a book to read, wrapped it in a rubber blanket, and jumped into the canoe.

“When shall we look for you?” Warren called, as the wind filled the sail and sent Tehei and me scurrying out on the outrigger.

“When will we come find you?” Warren yelled, as the wind filled the sail and sent Tehei and me rushing out on the outrigger.

“I don’t know,” I answered. “When we get back, as near as I can figure it.”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “When we get back, as far as I can tell.”

And away we went. The wind had increased, and with slacked sheets we ran off before it. The freeboard of the canoe was no more than two and a half inches, and the little waves continually lapped over the side. This required bailing. Now bailing is one of the principal functions of the vahine. Vahine is the Tahitian for woman, and Charmian being the only vahine aboard, the bailing fell appropriately to her. Tehei and I could not very well do it, the both of us being perched part way out on the outrigger and busied with keeping the canoe bottom-side down. So Charmian bailed, with a wooden scoop of primitive design, and so well did she do it that there were occasions when she could rest off almost half the time.

And off we went. The wind had picked up, and with the sails loose, we sped along with it. The freeboard of the canoe was only about two and a half inches, and the small waves kept washing over the side. This meant we had to bail water out. Bailing is one of the main jobs for the vahine. Vahine is Tahitian for woman, and since Charmian was the only vahine on board, the bailing naturally fell to her. Tehei and I couldn’t really do it, both of us were balanced partway on the outrigger and focused on keeping the canoe upright. So Charmian bailed with a wooden scoop, designed simply, and she did such a great job that there were times she could take a break for almost half the time.

Raiatea and Tahaa are unique in that they lie inside the same encircling reef. Both are volcanic islands, ragged of sky-line, with heaven-aspiring peaks and minarets. Since Raiatea is thirty miles in circumference, and Tahaa fifteen miles, some idea may be gained of the magnitude of the reef that encloses them. Between them and the reef stretches from one to two miles of water, forming a beautiful lagoon. The huge Pacific seas, extending in unbroken lines sometimes a mile or half as much again in length, hurl themselves upon the reef, overtowering and falling upon it with tremendous crashes, and yet the fragile coral structure withstands the shock and protects the land. Outside lies destruction to the mightiest ship afloat. Inside reigns the calm of untroubled water, whereon a canoe like ours can sail with no more than a couple of inches of free-board.

Raiatea and Tahaa are special because they are both located within the same surrounding reef. Both islands are volcanic, with jagged skylines featuring towering peaks and spires. Raiatea has a circumference of thirty miles, while Tahaa is fifteen miles, giving a sense of the size of the reef that surrounds them. Between the islands and the reef, there is a lagoon that stretches from one to two miles of water. The massive Pacific Ocean swells, sometimes extending a mile or more in length, crash against the reef, towering and breaking with tremendous force, yet the delicate coral structure holds firm and shields the land. Outside, there's destruction waiting for the largest ships, but inside, there's a peaceful haven of calm waters, where a canoe like ours can glide along with just a couple of inches above the waterline.

We flew over the water. And such water!—clear as the clearest spring-water, and crystalline in its clearness, all intershot with a maddening pageant of colours and rainbow ribbons more magnificently gorgeous than any rainbow. Jade green alternated with turquoise, peacock blue with emerald, while now the canoe skimmed over reddish purple pools, and again over pools of dazzling, shimmering white where pounded coral sand lay beneath and upon which oozed monstrous sea-slugs. One moment we were above wonder-gardens of coral, wherein coloured fishes disported, fluttering like marine butterflies; the next moment we were dashing across the dark surface of deep channels, out of which schools of flying fish lifted their silvery flight; and a third moment we were above other gardens of living coral, each more wonderful than the last. And above all was the tropic, trade-wind sky with its fluffy clouds racing across the zenith and heaping the horizon with their soft masses.

We flew over the water. And what water it was!—clear as the purest spring water, sparkling in its clarity, filled with a dazzling display of colors and rainbow ribbons that were more stunning than any rainbow. Jade green alternated with turquoise, peacock blue with emerald, while at one moment the canoe glided over reddish purple pools, and at another over pools of bright, shimmering white where crushed coral sand lay underneath, with giant sea slugs slowly moving across it. One minute we were above beautiful coral gardens, where colorful fish played around like underwater butterflies; the next we were rushing over the dark surface of deep channels, where schools of flying fish leaped into the air; and a moment later we were above more gardens of living coral, each one more amazing than the last. And above it all was the tropical sky with trade winds, fluffy clouds racing across the top and piling up on the horizon in soft formations.

Before we were aware, we were close in to Tahaa (pronounced Tah-hah-ah, with equal accents), and Tehei was grinning approval of the vahine’s proficiency at bailing. The canoe grounded on a shallow shore, twenty feet from land, and we waded out on a soft bottom where big slugs curled and writhed under our feet and where small octopuses advertised their existence by their superlative softness when stepped upon. Close to the beach, amid cocoanut palms and banana trees, erected on stilts, built of bamboo, with a grass-thatched roof, was Tehei’s house. And out of the house came Tehei’s vahine, a slender mite of a woman, kindly eyed and Mongolian of feature—when she was not North American Indian. “Bihaura,” Tehei called her, but he did not pronounce it according to English notions of spelling. Spelled “Bihaura,” it sounded like Bee-ah-oo-rah, with every syllable sharply emphasized.

Before we knew it, we were close to Tahaa (pronounced Tah-hah-ah, with equal emphasis), and Tehei was smiling in approval of the woman’s skill at bailing. The canoe touched down on a shallow shore, twenty feet from land, and we waded out on a soft bottom where big slugs curled and squirmed under our feet, and where small octopuses made their presence known with their extraordinary softness when stepped on. Close to the beach, among coconut palms and banana trees, stood Tehei’s house, raised on stilts, made of bamboo, with a grass-thatched roof. Out of the house came Tehei’s partner, a slender little woman, with kind eyes and Mongolian features—when she wasn’t resembling a North American Indian. “Bihaura,” Tehei called her, but he didn't pronounce it according to English spelling. Spelled “Bihaura,” it sounded like Bee-ah-oo-rah, with every syllable sharply pronounced.

She took Charmian by the hand and led her into the house, leaving Tehei and me to follow. Here, by sign-language unmistakable, we were informed that all they possessed was ours. No hidalgo was ever more generous in the expression of giving, while I am sure that few hidalgos were ever as generous in the actual practice. We quickly discovered that we dare not admire their possessions, for whenever we did admire a particular object it was immediately presented to us. The two vahines, according to the way of vahines, got together in a discussion and examination of feminine fripperies, while Tehei and I, manlike, went over fishing-tackle and wild-pig-hunting, to say nothing of the device whereby bonitas are caught on forty-foot poles from double canoes. Charmian admired a sewing basket—the best example she had seen of Polynesian basketry; it was hers. I admired a bonita hook, carved in one piece from a pearl-shell; it was mine. Charmian was attracted by a fancy braid of straw sennit, thirty feet of it in a roll, sufficient to make a hat of any design one wished; the roll of sennit was hers. My gaze lingered upon a poi-pounder that dated back to the old stone days; it was mine. Charmian dwelt a moment too long on a wooden poi-bowl, canoe-shaped, with four legs, all carved in one piece of wood; it was hers. I glanced a second time at a gigantic cocoanut calabash; it was mine. Then Charmian and I held a conference in which we resolved to admire no more—not because it did not pay well enough, but because it paid too well. Also, we were already racking our brains over the contents of the Snark for suitable return presents. Christmas is an easy problem compared with a Polynesian giving-feast.

She took Charmian by the hand and led her into the house, leaving Tehei and me to follow. Here, through unmistakable sign language, we were told that everything they had was ours. No wealthy person was ever more generous in their willingness to give, and I'm sure few were ever as generous in practice. We quickly learned that we couldn’t admire their belongings, because whenever we did, that specific object was immediately offered to us. The two women, following the usual ways, gathered to discuss and look at feminine accessories, while Tehei and I focused, as men do, on fishing gear and wild pig hunting, not to mention the technique for catching fish using forty-foot poles from double canoes. Charmian admired a sewing basket—the best example of Polynesian basketry she had seen; it became hers. I admired a fishing hook, carved from a single piece of pearl shell; it became mine. Charmian was drawn to a fancy braid of straw sennit, thirty feet long in a roll, enough to make any hat design she liked; that roll of sennit was hers. My attention lingered on a poi-pounder from the old stone age; that was mine. Charmian lingered a moment too long on a wooden poi-bowl shaped like a canoe, with four legs, all carved from one piece of wood; that became hers. I glanced again at a giant coconut calabash; it was mine. Then Charmian and I had a discussion and decided to admire no more—not because it didn’t benefit us enough, but because it benefited us too much. Also, we were already brainstorming what to give in return from the Snark. Christmas is an easy puzzle compared to a Polynesian giving feast.

We sat on the cool porch, on Bihaura’s best mats while dinner was preparing, and at the same time met the villagers. In twos and threes and groups they strayed along, shaking hands and uttering the Tahitian word of greeting—Ioarana, pronounced yo-rah-nah. The men, big strapping fellows, were in loin-cloths, with here and there no shirt, while the women wore the universal ahu, a sort of adult pinafore that flows in graceful lines from the shoulders to the ground. Sad to see was the elephantiasis that afflicted some of them. Here would be a comely woman of magnificent proportions, with the port of a queen, yet marred by one arm four times—or a dozen times—the size of the other. Beside her might stand a six-foot man, erect, mighty-muscled, bronzed, with the body of a god, yet with feet and calves so swollen that they ran together, forming legs, shapeless, monstrous, that were for all the world like elephant legs.

We sat on the cool porch, on Bihaura’s best mats while dinner was getting ready, and we also met the villagers. They wandered by in pairs, threes, and groups, shaking hands and greeting us with the Tahitian word—Ioarana, pronounced yo-rah-nah. The men, tall and strong, were wearing loincloths, some even without shirts, while the women wore the standard ahu, a type of adult pinafore that flowed gracefully from their shoulders to the ground. It was sad to see the elephantiasis that affected some of them. There would be a beautiful woman with a magnificent figure, standing like a queen, yet her one arm was four or even twelve times larger than the other. Next to her could be a six-foot man, standing tall, incredibly muscled, and bronzed, with the body of a god, yet his feet and calves were so swollen that they merged together, creating shapeless, monstrous legs that looked just like elephant legs.

No one seems really to know the cause of the South Sea elephantiasis. One theory is that it is caused by the drinking of polluted water. Another theory attributes it to inoculation through mosquito bites. A third theory charges it to predisposition plus the process of acclimatization. On the other hand, no one that stands in finicky dread of it and similar diseases can afford to travel in the South Seas. There will be occasions when such a one must drink water. There may be also occasions when the mosquitoes let up biting. But every precaution of the finicky one will be useless. If he runs barefoot across the beach to have a swim, he will tread where an elephantiasis case trod a few minutes before. If he closets himself in his own house, yet every bit of fresh food on his table will have been subjected to the contamination, be it flesh, fish, fowl, or vegetable. In the public market at Papeete two known lepers run stalls, and heaven alone knows through what channels arrive at that market the daily supplies of fish, fruit, meat, and vegetables. The only happy way to go through the South Seas is with a careless poise, without apprehension, and with a Christian Science-like faith in the resplendent fortune of your own particular star. When you see a woman, afflicted with elephantiasis wringing out cream from cocoanut meat with her naked hands, drink and reflect how good is the cream, forgetting the hands that pressed it out. Also, remember that diseases such as elephantiasis and leprosy do not seem to be caught by contact.

No one really seems to know what causes South Sea elephantiasis. One theory is that it comes from drinking contaminated water. Another theory links it to getting inoculated through mosquito bites. A third theory blames it on a mix of genetic factors and the process of acclimatization. On the flip side, anyone who is overly worried about it and similar diseases can’t afford to travel in the South Seas. There will be times when they have to drink water, and there might be moments when the mosquitoes take a break from biting. But all the precautions of the overly cautious person will end up being pointless. If they run barefoot across the beach to go for a swim, they’ll step where someone with elephantiasis was just before them. If they shut themselves in their house, every bit of fresh food on their table will have been exposed to contamination, whether it’s meat, fish, poultry, or vegetables. In the public market at Papeete, two known lepers run stalls, and only heaven knows how the daily supply of fish, fruit, meat, and vegetables make it to that market. The best way to experience the South Seas is to do it with a carefree attitude, without fear, and with a kind of faith in the great fortune of your own personal star. When you see a woman with elephantiasis squeezing cream from coconut meat with her bare hands, just drink and enjoy the cream, forgetting about the hands that pressed it out. Also, keep in mind that diseases like elephantiasis and leprosy don’t seem to spread through casual contact.

We watched a Raratongan woman, with swollen, distorted limbs, prepare our cocoanut cream, and then went out to the cook-shed where Tehei and Bihaura were cooking dinner. And then it was served to us on a dry-goods box in the house. Our hosts waited until we were done and then spread their table on the floor. But our table! We were certainly in the high seat of abundance. First, there was glorious raw fish, caught several hours before from the sea and steeped the intervening time in lime-juice diluted with water. Then came roast chicken. Two cocoanuts, sharply sweet, served for drink. There were bananas that tasted like strawberries and that melted in the mouth, and there was banana-poi that made one regret that his Yankee forebears ever attempted puddings. Then there was boiled yam, boiled taro, and roasted feis, which last are nothing more or less than large mealy, juicy, red-coloured cooking bananas. We marvelled at the abundance, and, even as we marvelled, a pig was brought on, a whole pig, a sucking pig, swathed in green leaves and roasted upon the hot stones of a native oven, the most honourable and triumphant dish in the Polynesian cuisine. And after that came coffee, black coffee, delicious coffee, native coffee grown on the hillsides of Tahaa.

We watched a Raratongan woman with swollen, distorted limbs prepare our coconut cream, and then we went out to the cook shed where Tehei and Bihaura were making dinner. It was served to us on a dry-goods box inside the house. Our hosts waited until we finished and then set up their table on the floor. But our table! We were certainly in the high seat of abundance. First, there was amazing raw fish, caught just hours before from the sea and soaked in lime juice mixed with water. Then came roast chicken. Two coconuts, sharply sweet, were served for drinks. There were bananas that tasted like strawberries and melted in the mouth, along with banana pouf that made one regret that their Yankee ancestors ever attempted puddings. Then there was boiled yam, boiled taro, and roasted feis, which are just large, juicy, mealy, red cooking bananas. We marveled at the abundance, and just as we were marveling, a whole pig was brought in, a sucking pig, wrapped in green leaves and roasted on the hot stones of a native oven, the most honorable and impressive dish in Polynesian cuisine. After that came coffee, black coffee, delicious coffee, native coffee grown on the hillsides of Tahaa.

Tehei’s fishing-tackle fascinated me, and after we arranged to go fishing, Charmian and I decided to remain all night. Again Tehei broached Samoa, and again my petit bateau brought the disappointment and the smile of acquiescence to his face. Bora Bora was my next port. It was not so far away but that cutters made the passage back and forth between it and Raiatea. So I invited Tehei to go that far with us on the Snark. Then I learned that his wife had been born on Bora Bora and still owned a house there. She likewise was invited, and immediately came the counter invitation to stay with them in their house in Born Bora. It was Monday. Tuesday we would go fishing and return to Raiatea. Wednesday we would sail by Tahaa and off a certain point, a mile away, pick up Tehei and Bihaura and go on to Bora Bora. All this we arranged in detail, and talked over scores of other things as well, and yet Tehei knew three phrases in English, Charmian and I knew possibly a dozen Tahitian words, and among the four of us there were a dozen or so French words that all understood. Of course, such polyglot conversation was slow, but, eked out with a pad, a lead pencil, the face of a clock Charmian drew on the back of a pad, and with ten thousand and one gestures, we managed to get on very nicely.

Tehei’s fishing gear fascinated me, and after we arranged to go fishing, Charmian and I decided to stay all night. Once again, Tehei brought up Samoa, and once again my little boat brought both disappointment and a smile of acceptance to his face. Bora Bora was my next destination. It wasn’t so far that boats didn’t travel back and forth between there and Raiatea. So I invited Tehei to come along with us on the Snark. Then I learned that his wife had been born on Bora Bora and still owned a house there. She was also invited, and right away came the counter-invitation to stay with them in their house in Bora Bora. It was Monday. We would go fishing on Tuesday and return to Raiatea. On Wednesday, we would sail by Tahaa and from a point a mile away, pick up Tehei and Bihaura and head to Bora Bora. We arranged all this in detail, and discussed many other things too, but Tehei knew only three phrases in English, and Charmian and I probably knew about a dozen Tahitian words, and among the four of us, we understood a dozen or so French words. Of course, such multilingual conversation was slow, but with a pad, a pencil, the face of a clock Charmian drew on the back of a pad, and countless gestures, we managed to communicate just fine.

At the first moment we evidenced an inclination for bed the visiting natives, with soft Iaoranas, faded away, and Tehei and Bihaura likewise faded away. The house consisted of one large room, and it was given over to us, our hosts going elsewhere to sleep. In truth, their castle was ours. And right here, I want to say that of all the entertainment I have received in this world at the hands of all sorts of races in all sorts of places, I have never received entertainment that equalled this at the hands of this brown-skinned couple of Tahaa. I do not refer to the presents, the free-handed generousness, the high abundance, but to the fineness of courtesy and consideration and tact, and to the sympathy that was real sympathy in that it was understanding. They did nothing they thought ought to be done for us, according to their standards, but they did what they divined we wanted to be done for us, while their divination was most successful. It would be impossible to enumerate the hundreds of little acts of consideration they performed during the few days of our intercourse. Let it suffice for me to say that of all hospitality and entertainment I have known, in no case was theirs not only not excelled, but in no case was it quite equalled. Perhaps the most delightful feature of it was that it was due to no training, to no complex social ideals, but that it was the untutored and spontaneous outpouring from their hearts.

At the first sign that we were ready for bed, the visiting locals, with their soft Iaoranas, quietly disappeared, along with Tehei and Bihaura. The house was just one big room, and it was ours for the night, while our hosts chose to sleep elsewhere. Honestly, their home felt like it belonged to us. Right here, I want to emphasize that of all the hospitality I’ve experienced in this world from different cultures in various places, nothing matched the warmth I received from this brown-skinned couple in Tahaa. I’m not just talking about the gifts, their generous spirit, or the abundance they offered, but rather the level of courtesy, thoughtfulness, and understanding they showed. They didn’t do things for us based on what they thought should be done, but instead, they anticipated what we truly wanted, and they were spot on. It’s impossible to detail all the little acts of kindness they performed during our short stay, but I can say that of all the hospitality I’ve encountered, none has ever surpassed theirs, and none has come close. The most wonderful part was that it wasn’t a result of training or complicated social norms; it came genuinely and spontaneously from their hearts.

The next morning we went fishing, that is, Tehei, Charmian, and I did, in the coffin-shaped canoe; but this time the enormous sail was left behind. There was no room for sailing and fishing at the same time in that tiny craft. Several miles away, inside the reef, in a channel twenty fathoms deep, Tehei dropped his baited hooks and rock-sinkers. The bait was chunks of octopus flesh, which he bit out of a live octopus that writhed in the bottom of the canoe. Nine of these lines he set, each line attached to one end of a short length of bamboo floating on the surface. When a fish was hooked, the end of the bamboo was drawn under the water. Naturally, the other end rose up in the air, bobbing and waving frantically for us to make haste. And make haste we did, with whoops and yells and driving paddles, from one signalling bamboo to another, hauling up from the depths great glistening beauties from two to three feet in length.

The next morning, we went fishing—Tehei, Charmian, and I—in the coffin-shaped canoe, but this time we left the huge sail behind. There wasn’t enough room to sail and fish at the same time in that little boat. A few miles away, inside the reef, in a channel that was twenty fathoms deep, Tehei dropped his baited hooks and rock-sinkers. The bait consisted of chunks of octopus flesh, which he bit out of a live octopus wriggling at the bottom of the canoe. He set nine lines, each one attached to a short length of bamboo floating on the surface. When a fish was hooked, the end of the bamboo would dip beneath the water. Naturally, the other end would rise up, bobbing and waving frantically, signaling us to hurry. And hurry we did, with shouts and yells and powerful paddling, racing from one signaling bamboo to the next, pulling up beautiful fish from two to three feet long.

Steadily, to the eastward, an ominous squall had been rising and blotting out the bright trade-wind sky. And we were three miles to leeward of home. We started as the first wind-gusts whitened the water. Then came the rain, such rain as only the tropics afford, where every tap and main in the sky is open wide, and when, to top it all, the very reservoir itself spills over in blinding deluge. Well, Charmian was in a swimming suit, I was in pyjamas, and Tehei wore only a loin-cloth. Bihaura was on the beach waiting for us, and she led Charmian into the house in much the same fashion that the mother leads in the naughty little girl who has been playing in mud-puddles.

Steadily, to the east, a threatening storm had been brewing and blocking out the bright trade-wind sky. We were three miles away from home. We jumped into action as the first wind gusts whipped the water into foam. Then the rain hit, the kind you only get in the tropics, where every tap in the sky is wide open, and to top it off, the reservoir itself overflows in a blinding downpour. So, Charmian was in a swimsuit, I was in pajamas, and Tehei was just wearing a loincloth. Bihaura was on the beach waiting for us, and she led Charmian into the house just like a mother brings in a naughty little girl who has been playing in mud puddles.

It was a change of clothes and a dry and quiet smoke while kai-kai was preparing. Kai-kai, by the way, is the Polynesian for “food” or “to eat,” or, rather, it is one form of the original root, whatever it may have been, that has been distributed far and wide over the vast area of the Pacific. It is kai in the Marquesas, Raratonga, Manahiki, Niuë, Fakaafo, Tonga, New Zealand, and Vaté. In Tahiti “to eat” changes to amu, in Hawaii and Samoa to ai, in Ban to kana, in Nina to kana, in Nongone to kaka, and in New Caledonia to ki. But by whatsoever sound or symbol, it was welcome to our ears after that long paddle in the rain. Once more we sat in the high seat of abundance until we regretted that we had been made unlike the image of the giraffe and the camel.

It was a change of clothes and a dry, quiet smoke while kai-kai was being prepared. Kai-kai, by the way, is Polynesian for “food” or “to eat,” or rather, it's one form of the original root, whatever it may have been, that has spread widely across the Pacific. It's kai in the Marquesas, Raratonga, Manahiki, Niuë, Fakaafo, Tonga, New Zealand, and Vaté. In Tahiti, “to eat” changes to amu, in Hawaii and Samoa to ai, in Ban to kana, in Nina to kana, in Nongone to kaka, and in New Caledonia to ki. But however it's pronounced, it was music to our ears after that long paddle in the rain. Once again, we sat in the high seat of abundance until we regretted that we weren’t made like the giraffe and the camel.

Again, when we were preparing to return to the Snark, the sky to windward turned black and another squall swooped down. But this time it was little rain and all wind. It blew hour after hour, moaning and screeching through the palms, tearing and wrenching and shaking the frail bamboo dwelling, while the outer reef set up a mighty thundering as it broke the force of the swinging seas. Inside the reef, the lagoon, sheltered though it was, was white with fury, and not even Tehei’s seamanship could have enabled his slender canoe to live in such a welter.

Again, as we were getting ready to head back to the Snark, the sky in the direction we were going turned dark, and another storm came rushing in. But this time it brought little rain and a lot of wind. It howled for hours, moaning and screeching through the palm trees, ripping and shaking the fragile bamboo house, while the outer reef thundered as it broke the impact of the crashing waves. Inside the reef, the lagoon, despite being sheltered, was white with rage, and even Tehei's skills couldn't have kept his lightweight canoe afloat in such chaos.

By sunset, the back of the squall had broken though it was still too rough for the canoe. So I had Tehei find a native who was willing to venture his cutter across to Raiatea for the outrageous sum of two dollars, Chili, which is equivalent in our money to ninety cents. Half the village was told off to carry presents, with which Tehei and Bihaura speeded their parting guests—captive chickens, fishes dressed and swathed in wrappings of green leaves, great golden bunches of bananas, leafy baskets spilling over with oranges and limes, alligator pears (the butter-fruit, also called the avoca), huge baskets of yams, bunches of taro and cocoanuts, and last of all, large branches and trunks of trees—firewood for the Snark.

By sunset, the back of the storm had cleared, but it was still too rough for the canoe. So I had Tehei find a local who was willing to take his boat across to Raiatea for the ridiculous price of two dollars, Chili, which is about ninety cents in our currency. Half the village was gathered to carry gifts, with which Tehei and Bihaura sent off their departing guests—captive chickens, fish prepared and wrapped in green leaves, large bunches of bananas, leafy baskets overflowing with oranges and limes, alligator pears (the butter-fruit, also known as the avoca), huge baskets of yams, bunches of taro and coconuts, and finally, large branches and trunks of trees—firewood for the Snark.

While on the way to the cutter we met the only white man on Tahaa, and of all men, George Lufkin, a native of New England! Eighty-six years of age he was, sixty-odd of which, he said, he had spent in the Society Islands, with occasional absences, such as the gold rush to Eldorado in ’forty-nine and a short period of ranching in California near Tulare. Given no more than three months by the doctors to live, he had returned to his South Seas and lived to eighty-six and to chuckle over the doctors aforesaid, who were all in their graves. Fee-fee he had, which is the native for elephantiasis and which is pronounced fay-fay. A quarter of a century before, the disease had fastened upon him, and it would remain with him until he died. We asked him about kith and kin. Beside him sat a sprightly damsel of sixty, his daughter. “She is all I have,” he murmured plaintively, “and she has no children living.”

While on our way to the cutter, we ran into the only white man on Tahaa, of all people, George Lufkin, a guy from New England! He was eighty-six years old, and he said he’d spent about sixty of those years in the Society Islands, with some breaks here and there, like the gold rush to Eldorado in ’49 and a brief stint ranching in California near Tulare. The doctors had given him just three months to live, but he returned to his South Seas and managed to live to eighty-six, laughing at those doctors who are now all in their graves. He had fee-fee, which is the local term for elephantiasis, pronounced fay-fay. Twenty-five years earlier, the disease had taken hold of him, and it would stay with him until he died. We asked him about family. Beside him sat a lively woman of sixty, his daughter. “She is all I have,” he said softly, “and she has no children living.”

The cutter was a small, sloop-rigged affair, but large it seemed alongside Tehei’s canoe. On the other hand, when we got out on the lagoon and were struck by another heavy wind-squall, the cutter became liliputian, while the Snark, in our imagination, seemed to promise all the stability and permanence of a continent. They were good boatmen. Tehei and Bihaura had come along to see us home, and the latter proved a good boatwoman herself. The cutter was well ballasted, and we met the squall under full sail. It was getting dark, the lagoon was full of coral patches, and we were carrying on. In the height of the squall we had to go about, in order to make a short leg to windward to pass around a patch of coral no more than a foot under the surface. As the cutter filled on the other tack, and while she was in that “dead” condition that precedes gathering way, she was knocked flat. Jib-sheet and main-sheet were let go, and she righted into the wind. Three times she was knocked down, and three times the sheets were flung loose, before she could get away on that tack.

The cutter was a small, sloop-rigged boat, but it looked huge next to Tehei’s canoe. However, when we got out onto the lagoon and were hit by another heavy wind squall, the cutter felt tiny, while the Snark seemed to promise the stability and permanence of a continent in our minds. Tehei and Bihaura came along to see us back, and Bihaura proved to be a good boatwoman herself. The cutter was well-ballasted, and we faced the squall under full sail. It was getting dark, the lagoon was filled with coral patches, and we kept going. In the middle of the squall, we had to tack to make a short course upwind to avoid a patch of coral that was no more than a foot below the surface. As the cutter changed course and while she was in that “dead” state right before gaining speed, she got knocked flat. We let go of the jib-sheet and main-sheet, and she righted herself into the wind. She was knocked down three times, and we released the sheets three times before she finally managed to get away on that tack.

By the time we went about again, darkness had fallen. We were now to windward of the Snark, and the squall was howling. In came the jib, and down came the mainsail, all but a patch of it the size of a pillow-slip. By an accident we missed the Snark, which was riding it out to two anchors, and drove aground upon the inshore coral. Running the longest line on the Snark by means of the launch, and after an hour’s hard work, we heaved the cutter off and had her lying safely astern.

By the time we went around again, it was dark. We were now upwind of the Snark, and the wind was howling. The jib came down, and the mainsail was lowered, leaving just a patch about the size of a pillowcase. By an accident, we missed the Snark, which was anchored safely with two lines, and ended up running aground on the nearby coral. After running a long line from the Snark using the launch and an hour of hard work, we got the cutter off and had it safely behind us.

The day we sailed for Bora Bora the wind was light, and we crossed the lagoon under power to the point where Tehei and Bihaura were to meet us. As we made in to the land between the coral banks, we vainly scanned the shore for our friends. There was no sign of them.

The day we set off for Bora Bora, the wind was light, so we powered across the lagoon to the spot where Tehei and Bihaura were supposed to meet us. As we approached the land between the coral banks, we looked around the shore for our friends, but there was no sign of them.

“We can’t wait,” I said. “This breeze won’t fetch us to Bora Bora by dark, and I don’t want to use any more gasolene than I have to.”

“We can’t wait,” I said. “This breeze won’t get us to Bora Bora before dark, and I don’t want to use any more gas than I have to.”

You see, gasolene in the South Seas is a problem. One never knows when he will be able to replenish his supply.

You see, gas in the South Seas is an issue. You never know when you'll be able to refill your supply.

But just then Tehei appeared through the trees as he came down to the water. He had peeled off his shirt and was wildly waving it. Bihaura apparently was not ready. Once aboard, Tehei informed us by signs that we must proceed along the land till we got opposite to his house. He took the wheel and conned the Snark through the coral, around point after point till we cleared the last point of all. Cries of welcome went up from the beach, and Bihaura, assisted by several of the villagers, brought off two canoe-loads of abundance. There were yams, taro, feis, breadfruit, cocoanuts, oranges, limes, pineapples, watermelons, alligator pears, pomegranates, fish, chickens galore crowing and cackling and laying eggs on our decks, and a live pig that squealed infernally and all the time in apprehension of imminent slaughter.

But just then, Tehei emerged from the trees as he walked down to the water. He had taken off his shirt and was waving it excitedly. Bihaura didn’t seem ready. Once we were on board, Tehei signaled to us that we needed to head along the shore until we reached his house. He took the wheel and guided the Snark through the coral, steering us around point after point until we cleared the final point. Shouts of welcome rang out from the beach, and Bihaura, along with several villagers, brought us two canoe-loads of goodies. There were yams, taro, feis, breadfruit, coconuts, oranges, limes, pineapples, watermelons, alligator pears, pomegranates, fish, and tons of chickens squawking and laying eggs on our decks, plus a live pig that was squealing loudly in fear of being slaughtered.

Under the rising moon we came in through the perilous passage of the reef of Bora Bora and dropped anchor off Vaitapé village. Bihaura, with housewifely anxiety, could not get ashore too quickly to her house to prepare more abundance for us. While the launch was taking her and Tehei to the little jetty, the sound of music and of singing drifted across the quiet lagoon. Throughout the Society Islands we had been continually informed that we would find the Bora Borans very jolly. Charmian and I went ashore to see, and on the village green, by forgotten graves on the beach, found the youths and maidens dancing, flower-garlanded and flower-bedecked, with strange phosphorescent flowers in their hair that pulsed and dimmed and glowed in the moonlight. Farther along the beach we came upon a huge grass house, oval-shaped seventy feet in length, where the elders of the village were singing himines. They, too, were flower-garlanded and jolly, and they welcomed us into the fold as little lost sheep straying along from outer darkness.

Under the rising moon, we entered the risky passage of the Bora Bora reef and dropped anchor off Vaitapé village. Bihaura, with a sense of urgency, couldn't wait to get to her house to prepare more food for us. As the launch took her and Tehei to the small jetty, we could hear music and singing drifting across the calm lagoon. Throughout the Society Islands, we had been told repeatedly that the Bora Borans were very cheerful. Charmian and I went ashore to check it out and found the village green, near some forgotten graves on the beach, filled with young men and women dancing, adorned with flower garlands and vibrant flowers in their hair that pulsed and glowed in the moonlight. Further down the beach, we discovered a huge oval-shaped grass house, seventy feet long, where the village elders were singing himines. They were also flower-garlanded and cheerful, welcoming us as if we were lost sheep returning from the darkness.

Early next morning Tehei was on board, with a string of fresh-caught fish and an invitation to dinner for that evening. On the way to dinner, we dropped in at the himine house. The same elders were singing, with here or there a youth or maiden that we had not seen the previous night. From all the signs, a feast was in preparation. Towering up from the floor was a mountain of fruits and vegetables, flanked on either side by numerous chickens tethered by cocoanut strips. After several himines had been sung, one of the men arose and made oration. The oration was made to us, and though it was Greek to us, we knew that in some way it connected us with that mountain of provender.

Early the next morning, Tehei was on board with a bunch of freshly caught fish and an invite for dinner that evening. On our way to dinner, we stopped by the himine house. The same elders were singing, with a few young people we hadn’t seen the night before. From all the signs, a feast was getting ready. There was a huge pile of fruits and vegetables on the floor, with chickens tied up on either side using coconut strips. After several himines had been sung, one of the men stood up and gave a speech. The speech was directed at us, and even though we didn’t understand a word, we could tell it somehow connected us to that mountain of food.

“Can it be that they are presenting us with all that?” Charmian whispered.

“Could they really be showing us all that?” Charmian whispered.

“Impossible,” I muttered back. “Why should they be giving it to us? Besides, there is no room on the Snark for it. We could not eat a tithe of it. The rest would spoil. Maybe they are inviting us to the feast. At any rate, that they should give all that to us is impossible.”

“Impossible,” I muttered. “Why would they give it to us? Plus, there’s no space on the Snark for it. We couldn’t eat even a fraction of it. The rest would go to waste. Maybe they’re inviting us to the feast. Either way, it’s impossible that they would give us all of that.”

Nevertheless we found ourselves once more in the high seat of abundance. The orator, by gestures unmistakable, in detail presented every item in the mountain to us, and next he presented it to us in toto. It was an embarrassing moment. What would you do if you lived in a hall bedroom and a friend gave you a white elephant? Our Snark was no more than a hall bedroom, and already she was loaded down with the abundance of Tahaa. This new supply was too much. We blushed, and stammered, and mauruuru’d. We mauruuru’d with repeated nui’s which conveyed the largeness and overwhelmingness of our thanks. At the same time, by signs, we committed the awful breach of etiquette of not accepting the present. The himine singers’ disappointment was plainly betrayed, and that evening, aided by Tehei, we compromised by accepting one chicken, one bunch of bananas, one bunch of taro, and so on down the list.

Nevertheless, we found ourselves once again in a place of plenty. The speaker, with clear gestures, laid out every item from the mountain in detail, and then he presented it to us as a whole. It was an awkward moment. What would you do if you lived in a small room and a friend gifted you a white elephant? Our place was just a small room, and it was already filled with the abundance of Tahaa. This new load was too much. We felt embarrassed, fumbled our words, and thanked him repeatedly. We thanked him with many enthusiastic expressions that conveyed our immense gratitude. At the same time, through gestures, we committed the terrible faux pas of refusing the gift. The disappointment of the singers was obvious, and that evening, with Tehei's help, we settled by accepting one chicken, one bunch of bananas, one bunch of taro, and so on down the list.

But there was no escaping the abundance. I bought a dozen chickens from a native out in the country, and the following day he delivered thirteen chickens along with a canoe-load of fruit. The French storekeeper presented us with pomegranates and lent us his finest horse. The gendarme did likewise, lending us a horse that was the very apple of his eye. And everybody sent us flowers. The Snark was a fruit-stand and a greengrocer’s shop masquerading under the guise of a conservatory. We went around flower-garlanded all the time. When the himine singers came on board to sing, the maidens kissed us welcome, and the crew, from captain to cabin-boy, lost its heart to the maidens of Bora Bora. Tehei got up a big fishing expedition in our honour, to which we went in a double canoe, paddled by a dozen strapping Amazons. We were relieved that no fish were caught, else the Snark would have sunk at her moorings.

But there was no way to escape the abundance. I bought a dozen chickens from a local guy in the countryside, and the next day he delivered thirteen chickens along with a canoe-load of fruit. The French storekeeper gave us pomegranates and lent us his best horse. The gendarme did the same, lending us a horse that he was particularly fond of. And everyone sent us flowers. The Snark was like a fruit stand and a greengrocer’s shop disguised as a conservatory. We were always adorned with flower garlands. When the himine singers came aboard to perform, the young women welcomed us with kisses, and the crew, from the captain to the cabin-boy, all fell for the maidens of Bora Bora. Tehei organized a big fishing expedition in our honor, and we went out in a double canoe, paddled by a dozen strong Amazons. We were glad that no fish were caught; otherwise, the Snark would have sunk at her moorings.

The days passed, but the abundance did not diminish. On the day of departure, canoe after canoe put off to us. Tehei brought cucumbers and a young papaia tree burdened with splendid fruit. Also, for me he brought a tiny, double canoe with fishing apparatus complete. Further, he brought fruits and vegetables with the same lavishness as at Tahaa. Bihaura brought various special presents for Charmian, such as silk-cotton pillows, fans, and fancy mats. The whole population brought fruits, flowers, and chickens. And Bihaura added a live sucking pig. Natives whom I did not remember ever having seen before strayed over the rail and presented me with such things as fish-poles, fish-lines, and fish-hooks carved from pearl-shell.

The days went by, but the abundance didn’t fade. On the day we were leaving, canoe after canoe came to us. Tehei brought cucumbers and a young papaya tree loaded with amazing fruit. He also brought me a small double canoe equipped with fishing gear. Additionally, he provided fruits and vegetables as generously as they did in Tahaa. Bihaura brought various special gifts for Charmian, like silk-cotton pillows, fans, and decorative mats. Everyone in the community brought fruits, flowers, and chickens. Bihaura even added a live piglet. People I didn’t even recognize came over and gifted me items like fishing poles, lines, and hooks made from pearl shell.

As the Snark sailed out through the reef, she had a cutter in tow. This was the craft that was to take Bihaura back to Tahaa—but not Tehei. I had yielded at last, and he was one of the crew of the Snark. When the cutter cast off and headed east, and the Snark’s bow turned toward the west, Tehei knelt down by the cockpit and breathed a silent prayer, the tears flowing down his cheeks. A week later, when Martin got around to developing and printing, he showed Tehei some of the photographs. And that brown-skinned son of Polynesia, gazing on the pictured lineaments of his beloved Bihaura broke down in tears.

As the Snark sailed out through the reef, she had a small boat in tow. This was the vessel that would take Bihaura back to Tahaa—but not Tehei. I had finally given in, and he was part of the crew on the Snark. When the small boat cast off and headed east, while the Snark’s bow turned toward the west, Tehei knelt by the cockpit and said a silent prayer, tears streaming down his cheeks. A week later, when Martin got around to developing and printing the photos, he showed Tehei some of the pictures. And that brown-skinned son of Polynesia, looking at the images of his beloved Bihaura, broke down in tears.

But the abundance! There was so much of it. We could not work the Snark for the fruit that was in the way. She was festooned with fruit. The life-boat and launch were packed with it. The awning-guys groaned under their burdens. But once we struck the full trade-wind sea, the disburdening began. At every roll the Snark shook overboard a bunch or so of bananas and cocoanuts, or a basket of limes. A golden flood of limes washed about in the lee-scuppers. The big baskets of yams burst, and pineapples and pomegranates rolled back and forth. The chickens had got loose and were everywhere, roosting on the awnings, fluttering and squawking out on the jib-boom, and essaying the perilous feat of balancing on the spinnaker-boom. They were wild chickens, accustomed to flight. When attempts were made to catch them, they flew out over the ocean, circled about, and came back. Sometimes they did not come back. And in the confusion, unobserved, the little sucking pig got loose and slipped overboard.

But the abundance! There was so much of it. We couldn’t navigate the Snark because of all the fruit in the way. The boat was draped in fruit. The lifeboat and launch were stuffed with it. The awning supports creaked under the weight. But once we hit the full trade-wind sea, the unloading began. With every roll, the Snark tossed overboard a bunch of bananas or coconuts, or a basket of limes. A golden wave of limes washed around in the scuppers. The large baskets of yams broke open, and pineapples and pomegranates rolled back and forth. The chickens had gotten loose and were everywhere, perching on the awnings, flapping and squawking out on the jib-boom, and trying the risky stunt of balancing on the spinnaker-boom. They were wild chickens, used to flying. Whenever we tried to catch them, they flew out over the ocean, circled around, and returned. Sometimes they didn’t come back. And in the chaos, unnoticed, the little piglet slipped loose and went overboard.

“On the arrival of strangers, every man endeavoured to obtain one as a friend and carry him off to his own habitation, where he is treated with the greatest kindness by the inhabitants of the district: they place him on a high seat and feed him with abundance of the finest foods.”

“When strangers arrived, everyone tried to make one their friend and take them back to their home, where the locals treated them with the utmost kindness: they set them on a high seat and served them plenty of the best food.”

CHAPTER XIII
Bora Bora's Stone Fishing

At five in the morning the conches began to blow. From all along the beach the eerie sounds arose, like the ancient voice of War, calling to the fishermen to arise and prepare to go forth. We on the Snark likewise arose, for there could be no sleep in that mad din of conches. Also, we were going stone-fishing, though our preparations were few.

At five in the morning, the conches started blowing. From all along the beach, the haunting sounds rose, like the age-old voice of War, summoning the fishermen to wake up and get ready to head out. We on the Snark also got up, since there was no chance of sleeping amidst that crazy noise of conches. Plus, we were going stone-fishing, although our preparations were minimal.

Tautai-taora is the name for stone-fishing, tautai meaning a “fishing instrument.” And taora meaning “thrown.” But tautai-taora, in combination, means “stone-fishing,” for a stone is the instrument that is thrown. Stone-fishing is in reality a fish-drive, similar in principle to a rabbit-drive or a cattle-drive, though in the latter affairs drivers and driven operate in the same medium, while in the fish-drive the men must be in the air to breathe and the fish are driven through the water. It does not matter if the water is a hundred feet deep, the men, working on the surface, drive the fish just the same.

Tautai-taora refers to stone-fishing, where tautai means "fishing instrument" and taora means "thrown." Together, tautai-taora means "stone-fishing," as a stone is the tool that's thrown. Stone-fishing is essentially a fish drive, similar to a rabbit drive or a cattle drive. However, in the latter cases, both drivers and the animals move through the same environment, while in a fish drive, the people must be above water to breathe, and the fish are driven through the water. Whether the water is a hundred feet deep or not, the men working at the surface still manage to drive the fish effectively.

This is the way it is done. The canoes form in line, one hundred to two hundred feet apart. In the bow of each canoe a man wields a stone, several pounds in weight, which is attached to a short rope. He merely smites the water with the stone, pulls up the stone, and smites again. He goes on smiting. In the stern of each canoe another man paddles, driving the canoe ahead and at the same time keeping it in the formation. The line of canoes advances to meet a second line a mile or two away, the ends of the lines hurrying together to form a circle, the far edge of which is the shore. The circle begins to contract upon the shore, where the women, standing in a long row out into the sea, form a fence of legs, which serves to break any rushes of the frantic fish. At the right moment when the circle is sufficiently small, a canoe dashes out from shore, dropping overboard a long screen of cocoanut leaves and encircling the circle, thus reinforcing the palisade of legs. Of course, the fishing is always done inside the reef in the lagoon.

This is how it's done. The canoes line up, one hundred to two hundred feet apart. In the front of each canoe, a man holds a stone weighing several pounds, attached to a short rope. He simply hits the water with the stone, pulls it up, and hits again. He keeps hitting. At the back of each canoe, another man paddles, propelling the canoe forward while also keeping it in formation. The line of canoes moves to meet a second line about a mile or two away, with the ends of the lines rushing together to form a circle, the far edge of which is the shore. The circle begins to contract towards the shore, where women stand in a long line extending into the sea, forming a barrier with their legs that breaks any frantic fish rushes. At just the right moment, when the circle is small enough, a canoe speeds out from the shore, dropping a long screen of coconut leaves overboard to encircle the circle, reinforcing the barrier of legs. Of course, fishing is always done inside the reef in the lagoon.

Très jolie,” the gendarme said, after explaining by signs and gestures that thousands of fish would be caught of all sizes from minnows to sharks, and that the captured fish would boil up and upon the very sand of the beach.

Very pretty,” the officer said, after explaining with signs and gestures that thousands of fish would be caught of all sizes, from small minnows to sharks, and that the caught fish would boil right up on the very sand of the beach.

It is a most successful method of fishing, while its nature is more that of an outing festival, rather than of a prosaic, food-getting task. Such fishing parties take place about once a month at Bora Bora, and it is a custom that has descended from old time. The man who originated it is not remembered. They always did this thing. But one cannot help wondering about that forgotten savage of the long ago, into whose mind first flashed this scheme of easy fishing, of catching huge quantities of fish without hook, or net, or spear. One thing about him we can know: he was a radical. And we can be sure that he was considered feather-brained and anarchistic by his conservative tribesmen. His difficulty was much greater than that of the modern inventor, who has to convince in advance only one or two capitalists. That early inventor had to convince his whole tribe in advance, for without the co-operation of the whole tribe the device could not be tested. One can well imagine the nightly pow-wow-ings in that primitive island world, when he called his comrades antiquated moss-backs, and they called him a fool, a freak, and a crank, and charged him with having come from Kansas. Heaven alone knows at what cost of grey hairs and expletives he must finally have succeeded in winning over a sufficient number to give his idea a trial. At any rate, the experiment succeeded. It stood the test of truth—it worked! And thereafter, we can be confident, there was no man to be found who did not know all along that it was going to work.

It’s a really effective way to fish, and it feels more like a fun outing than a boring task to catch food. These fishing parties happen about once a month at Bora Bora, and it’s a tradition that goes way back. We don’t remember who started it. They’ve always done this. But you can’t help but think about that forgotten person from long ago who first came up with the idea of easy fishing—catching a ton of fish without a hook, net, or spear. One thing we know for sure is that he was ahead of his time. We can be sure his more traditional tribesmen thought he was silly and rebellious. His challenge was much bigger than that of today’s inventor, who only needs to convince a couple of investors. That early inventor had to persuade his entire tribe first, because without their cooperation, he couldn’t test his device. You can picture the nightly meetings in that old island community, where he called his friends stuck in the past, and they called him foolish, strange, and a weirdo, even accusing him of coming from Kansas. Who knows how many gray hairs and harsh words it took for him to finally convince enough people to try out his idea? In any case, the experiment worked. It proved to be true—it was effective! After that, we can safely say that no one would admit they didn’t know it was going to work all along.

Our good friends, Tehei and Bihaura, who were giving the fishing in our honour, had promised to come for us. We were down below when the call came from on deck that they were coming. We dashed up the companionway, to be overwhelmed by the sight of the Polynesian barge in which we were to ride. It was a long double canoe, the canoes lashed together by timbers with an interval of water between, and the whole decorated with flowers and golden grasses. A dozen flower-crowned Amazons were at the paddles, while at the stern of each canoe was a strapping steersman. All were garlanded with gold and crimson and orange flowers, while each wore about the hips a scarlet pareu. There were flowers everywhere, flowers, flowers, flowers, without end. The whole thing was an orgy of colour. On the platform forward resting on the bows of the canoes, Tehei and Bihaura were dancing. All voices were raised in a wild song or greeting.

Our good friends, Tehei and Bihaura, who were hosting a fishing trip in our honor, had promised to come for us. We were below deck when the call came from above that they were on their way. We rushed up the stairs, only to be amazed by the sight of the Polynesian barge we were going to ride. It was a long double canoe, with the canoes tied together by beams, leaving a space of water in between, and the whole thing was decorated with flowers and golden grasses. A dozen flower-crowned women were at the paddles, while at the back of each canoe stood a strong steersman. They were all adorned with gold, red, and orange flowers, and each wore a scarlet pareu around their hips. There were flowers everywhere—flowers, flowers, flowers, endless. The whole scene was a burst of color. On the platform at the front resting on the bows of the canoes, Tehei and Bihaura were dancing. Everyone was singing in a wild song of greeting.

Three times they circled the Snark before coming alongside to take Charmian and me on board. Then it was away for the fishing-grounds, a five-mile paddle dead to windward. “Everybody is jolly in Bora Bora,” is the saying throughout the Society Islands, and we certainly found everybody jolly. Canoe songs, shark songs, and fishing songs were sung to the dipping of the paddles, all joining in on the swinging choruses. Once in a while the cry Mao! was raised, whereupon all strained like mad at the paddles. Mao is shark, and when the deep-sea tigers appear, the natives paddle for dear life for the shore, knowing full well the danger they run of having their frail canoes overturned and of being devoured. Of course, in our case there were no sharks, but the cry of mao was used to incite them to paddle with as much energy as if a shark were really after them. “Hoé! Hoé!” was another cry that made us foam through the water.

Three times they circled the Snark before coming alongside to take Charmian and me on board. Then we headed off for the fishing grounds, a five-mile paddle straight into the wind. "Everyone is happy in Bora Bora," is the saying throughout the Society Islands, and we definitely found everyone to be cheerful. Canoe songs, shark songs, and fishing songs were sung along with the rhythmic dipping of the paddles, all joining in on the swinging choruses. Occasionally, the call Mao! would go up, prompting everyone to paddle like crazy. Mao means shark, and when the deep-sea tigers show up, the locals paddle desperately for the shore, fully aware of the risk of their fragile canoes being flipped over and them getting eaten. Of course, there weren't any sharks in our case, but the shout of mao was used to make them paddle with as much energy as if a shark were really chasing them. “Hoé! Hoé!” was another shout that made us glide through the water.

On the platform Tehei and Bihaura danced, accompanied by songs and choruses or by rhythmic hand-clappings. At other times a musical knocking of the paddles against the sides of the canoes marked the accent. A young girl dropped her paddle, leaped to the platform, and danced a hula, in the midst of which, still dancing, she swayed and bent, and imprinted on our cheeks the kiss of welcome. Some of the songs, or himines, were religious, and they were especially beautiful, the deep basses of the men mingling with the altos and thin sopranos of the women and forming a combination of sound that irresistibly reminded one of an organ. In fact, “kanaka organ” is the scoffer’s description of the himine. On the other hand, some of the chants or ballads were very barbaric, having come down from pre-Christian times.

On the platform, Tehei and Bihaura danced, accompanied by songs and choruses or by rhythmic hand clapping. At other times, a musical knock of the paddles against the sides of the canoes set the beat. A young girl dropped her paddle, jumped onto the platform, and danced a hula, during which she swayed and bent, kissing our cheeks in welcome. Some of the songs, or himines, were religious and particularly beautiful, with the deep bass voices of the men blending with the altos and high sopranos of the women, creating a sound that strongly reminded one of an organ. In fact, “kanaka organ” is the mocking term used for the himine. On the other hand, some of the chants or ballads were quite primitive, having been passed down from pre-Christian times.

And so, singing, dancing, paddling, these joyous Polynesians took us to the fishing. The gendarme, who is the French ruler of Bora Bora, accompanied us with his family in a double canoe of his own, paddled by his prisoners; for not only is he gendarme and ruler, but he is jailer as well, and in this jolly land when anybody goes fishing, all go fishing. A score of single canoes, with outriggers, paddled along with us. Around a point a big sailing-canoe appeared, running beautifully before the wind as it bore down to greet us. Balancing precariously on the outrigger, three young men saluted us with a wild rolling of drums.

And so, singing, dancing, and paddling, these joyful Polynesians took us fishing. The gendarme, who is the French ruler of Bora Bora, joined us with his family in his own double canoe, paddled by his prisoners; because not only is he the gendarme and ruler, but he’s also the jailer. In this cheerful land, whenever someone goes fishing, everyone goes fishing. A dozen single canoes with outriggers paddled alongside us. Around a bend, a large sailing canoe appeared, sailing gracefully with the wind as it approached us. Balancing precariously on the outrigger, three young men greeted us with a wild drumming.

The next point, half a mile farther on, brought us to the place of meeting. Here the launch, which had been brought along by Warren and Martin, attracted much attention. The Bora Borans could not see what made it go. The canoes were drawn upon the sand, and all hands went ashore to drink cocoanuts and sing and dance. Here our numbers were added to by many who arrived on foot from near-by dwellings, and a pretty sight it was to see the flower-crowned maidens, hand in hand and two by two, arriving along the sands.

The next stop, half a mile further along, brought us to the meeting spot. Here, the launch that Warren and Martin had brought drew a lot of attention. The Bora Borans were puzzled about how it worked. The canoes were pulled up on the sand, and everyone went ashore to drink coconut water and sing and dance. Our group grew as many people arrived on foot from nearby homes, and it was a lovely sight to see the flower-crowned girls, holding hands and walking two by two along the beach.

“They usually make a big catch,” Allicot, a half-caste trader, told us. “At the finish the water is fairly alive with fish. It is lots of fun. Of course you know all the fish will be yours.”

“They usually make a big catch,” Allicot, a mixed-race trader, told us. “By the end, the water is really full of fish. It’s a lot of fun. And of course, all the fish will belong to you.”

“All?” I groaned, for already the Snark was loaded down with lavish presents, by the canoe-load, of fruits, vegetables, pigs, and chickens.

“All?” I complained, because the Snark was already packed with extravagant gifts, in canoe-loads, of fruits, vegetables, pigs, and chickens.

“Yes, every last fish,” Allicot answered. “You see, when the surround is completed, you, being the guest of honour, must take a harpoon and impale the first one. It is the custom. Then everybody goes in with their hands and throws the catch out on the sand. There will be a mountain of them. Then one of the chiefs will make a speech in which he presents you with the whole kit and boodle. But you don’t have to take them all. You get up and make a speech, selecting what fish you want for yourself and presenting all the rest back again. Then everybody says you are very generous.”

“Yes, every last fish,” Allicot replied. “You see, once the surround is finished, you, as the guest of honor, have to take a harpoon and stab the first one. It’s the tradition. Then everyone dives in with their hands and throws the catch out onto the sand. There will be a huge pile of them. After that, one of the chiefs will give a speech where he presents you with everything. But you don’t have to take it all. You stand up and give a speech, choosing which fish you want for yourself and returning the rest. Then everyone will say you’re very generous.”

“But what would be the result if I kept the whole present?” I asked.

“But what would happen if I kept the entire gift?” I asked.

“It has never happened,” was the answer. “It is the custom to give and give back again.”

“It has never happened,” was the response. “It’s customary to give and receive in return.”

The native minister started with a prayer for success in the fishing, and all heads were bared. Next, the chief fishermen told off the canoes and allotted them their places. Then it was into the canoes and away. No women, however, came along, with the exception of Bihaura and Charmian. In the old days even they would have been tabooed. The women remained behind to wade out into the water and form the palisade of legs.

The local minister began with a prayer for a successful fishing trip, and everyone took off their hats. Next, the chief fishermen organized the canoes and assigned them their spots. Then they climbed into the canoes and set off. However, no women joined them, except for Bihaura and Charmian. In the past, even they would have been prohibited from participating. The women stayed behind to wade into the water and create a barrier with their legs.

The big double canoe was left on the beach, and we went in the launch. Half the canoes paddled off to leeward, while we, with the other half, headed to windward a mile and a half, until the end of our line was in touch with the reef. The leader of the drive occupied a canoe midway in our line. He stood erect, a fine figure of an old man, holding a flag in his hand. He directed the taking of positions and the forming of the two lines by blowing on a conch. When all was ready, he waved his flag to the right. With a single splash the throwers in every canoe on that side struck the water with their stones. While they were hauling them back—a matter of a moment, for the stones scarcely sank beneath the surface—the flag waved to the left, and with admirable precision every stone on that side struck the water. So it went, back and forth, right and left; with every wave of the flag a long line of concussion smote the lagoon. At the same time the paddles drove the canoes forward and what was being done in our line was being done in the opposing line of canoes a mile and more away.

The big double canoe was left on the beach, and we went in the launch. Half the canoes paddled off to the leeward, while we, with the other half, headed windward for a mile and a half until the end of our line was connected to the reef. The leader of the drive was in a canoe in the middle of our line. He stood tall, a strong figure of an old man, holding a flag in his hand. He directed the positioning and forming of the two lines by blowing on a conch. When everything was ready, he waved his flag to the right. With one splash, the throwers in every canoe on that side struck the water with their stones. As they pulled them back—something quick, since the stones barely sank below the surface—the flag waved to the left, and with perfect precision, every stone on that side hit the water. This continued, back and forth, right and left; with every wave of the flag, a long line of splashes hit the lagoon. At the same time, the paddles pushed the canoes forward, and what we were doing in our line was happening in the opposing line of canoes over a mile away.

On the bow of the launch, Tehei, with eyes fixed on the leader, worked his stone in unison with the others. Once, the stone slipped from the rope, and the same instant Tehei went overboard after it. I do not know whether or not that stone reached the bottom, but I do know that the next instant Tehei broke surface alongside with the stone in his hand. I noticed this same accident occur several times among the near-by canoes, but in each instance the thrower followed the stone and brought it back.

On the front of the boat, Tehei, his eyes locked on the leader, tossed his stone in sync with the others. At one point, the stone slipped from the rope, and in that moment, Tehei jumped in after it. I don’t know if that stone hit the bottom, but I do know that the next moment, Tehei surfaced with the stone in his hand. I saw this same thing happen several times with the nearby canoes, but each time the person throwing the stone jumped in after it and brought it back.

The reef ends of our lines accelerated, the shore ends lagged, all under the watchful supervision of the leader, until at the reef the two lines joined, forming the circle. Then the contraction of the circle began, the poor frightened fish harried shoreward by the streaks of concussion that smote the water. In the same fashion elephants are driven through the jungle by motes of men who crouch in the long grasses or behind trees and make strange noises. Already the palisade of legs had been built. We could see the heads of the women, in a long line, dotting the placid surface of the lagoon. The tallest women went farthest out, thus, with the exception of those close inshore, nearly all were up to their necks in the water.

The reef ends of our lines sped up while the shore ends lagged, all under the careful watch of the leader, until the two lines came together at the reef, forming a circle. Then the circle started to close in, with the scared fish being pushed toward the shore by the waves crashing against the water. In a similar way, elephants are driven through the jungle by groups of men hiding in the tall grass or behind trees, making strange sounds. A barrier of legs had already formed. We could see the women’s heads, lined up, breaking the calm surface of the lagoon. The tallest women went the farthest out, so that, except for those near the shore, almost all of them were in water up to their necks.

Still the circle narrowed, till canoes were almost touching. There was a pause. A long canoe shot out from shore, following the line of the circle. It went as fast as paddles could drive. In the stern a man threw overboard the long, continuous screen of cocoanut leaves. The canoes were no longer needed, and overboard went the men to reinforce the palisade with their legs. For the screen was only a screen, and not a net, and the fish could dash through it if they tried. Hence the need for legs that ever agitated the screen, and for hands that splashed and throats that yelled. Pandemonium reigned as the trap tightened.

Still, the circle got smaller until the canoes were almost touching. There was a pause. A long canoe shot out from the shore, following the circle's line. It moved as fast as the paddles could push it. In the back, a man tossed the long, continuous screen of coconut leaves overboard. The canoes were no longer needed, and the men jumped in to strengthen the palisade with their legs. The screen was just a screen, not a net, and the fish could dart through if they wanted to. That’s why they needed legs to constantly agitate the screen, hands to splash, and throats to yell. Chaos erupted as the trap tightened.

But no fish broke surface or collided against the hidden legs. At last the chief fisherman entered the trap. He waded around everywhere, carefully. But there were no fish boiling up and out upon the sand. There was not a sardine, not a minnow, not a polly-wog. Something must have been wrong with that prayer; or else, and more likely, as one grizzled fellow put it, the wind was not in its usual quarter and the fish were elsewhere in the lagoon. In fact, there had been no fish to drive.

But no fish came to the surface or bumped into the hidden legs. Finally, the chief fisherman stepped into the trap. He waded around carefully, but there were no fish bubbling up onto the sand. Not a sardine, not a minnow, not a tadpole. Something must have been off with that prayer; or, as one gray-haired guy put it, the wind wasn’t coming from its usual direction and the fish were somewhere else in the lagoon. In fact, there hadn’t been any fish to drive.

“About once in five these drives are failures,” Allicot consoled us.

“About once in five of these drives fail,” Allicot reassured us.

Well, it was the stone-fishing that had brought us to Bora Bora, and it was our luck to draw the one chance in five. Had it been a raffle, it would have been the other way about. This is not pessimism. Nor is it an indictment of the plan of the universe. It is merely that feeling which is familiar to most fishermen at the empty end of a hard day.

Well, it was the stone-fishing that brought us to Bora Bora, and we were lucky to get the one chance in five. If it had been a raffle, the outcome would have been the opposite. This isn't pessimism, nor is it a criticism of the universe's plan. It's just that feeling most fishermen know well at the end of a long, unproductive day.

CHAPTER XIV
THE NOVICE NAVIGATOR

There are captains and captains, and some mighty fine captains, I know; but the run of the captains on the Snark has been remarkably otherwise. My experience with them has been that it is harder to take care of one captain on a small boat than of two small babies. Of course, this is no more than is to be expected. The good men have positions, and are not likely to forsake their one-thousand-to-fifteen-thousand-ton billets for the Snark with her ten tons net. The Snark has had to cull her navigators from the beach, and the navigator on the beach is usually a congenital inefficient—the sort of man who beats about for a fortnight trying vainly to find an ocean isle and who returns with his schooner to report the island sunk with all on board, the sort of man whose temper or thirst for strong waters works him out of billets faster than he can work into them.

There are captains and captains, and I know some really great ones; but the captains we've had on the Snark have been quite different. In my experience, managing one captain on a small boat is harder than taking care of two small babies. Of course, that's to be expected. The good ones have their jobs and aren't likely to give up their one-thousand-to-fifteen-thousand-ton positions for the Snark with her ten tons net. The Snark has had to pick her navigators from those on the beach, and usually, the navigator on the beach is someone who's not very capable—like a guy who spends two weeks unsuccessfully trying to find an ocean island and comes back with his schooner to report that the island sank with everyone on it, or a guy whose temper or love for strong drinks gets him kicked out of jobs faster than he can get into them.

The Snark has had three captains, and by the grace of God she shall have no more. The first captain was so senile as to be unable to give a measurement for a boom-jaw to a carpenter. So utterly agedly helpless was he, that he was unable to order a sailor to throw a few buckets of salt water on the Snark’s deck. For twelve days, at anchor, under an overhead tropic sun, the deck lay dry. It was a new deck. It cost me one hundred and thirty-five dollars to recaulk it. The second captain was angry. He was born angry. “Papa is always angry,” was the description given him by his half-breed son. The third captain was so crooked that he couldn’t hide behind a corkscrew. The truth was not in him, common honesty was not in him, and he was as far away from fair play and square-dealing as he was from his proper course when he nearly wrecked the Snark on the Ring-gold Isles.

The Snark has had three captains, and by the grace of God, it will have no more. The first captain was so old that he couldn’t even give a measurement for a boom-jaw to a carpenter. He was so helpless due to his age that he couldn’t even tell a sailor to splash a few buckets of salt water on the Snark’s deck. For twelve days, anchored under a blazing tropical sun, the deck stayed dry. It was a new deck. It cost me one hundred and thirty-five dollars to recaulk it. The second captain was always angry. He was born that way. “Dad is always angry,” was how his half-breed son described him. The third captain was so crooked that he couldn’t hide behind a corkscrew. There was no truth in him, no common honesty, and he was as far from fair play and honest dealing as he was from his proper course when he nearly wrecked the Snark on the Ring-gold Isles.

It was at Suva, in the Fijis, that I discharged my third and last captain and took up gain the rôle of amateur navigator. I had essayed it once before, under my first captain, who, out of San Francisco, jumped the Snark so amazingly over the chart that I really had to find out what was doing. It was fairly easy to find out, for we had a run of twenty-one hundred miles before us. I knew nothing of navigation; but, after several hours of reading up and half an hour’s practice with the sextant, I was able to find the Snark’s latitude by meridian observation and her longitude by the simple method known as “equal altitudes.” This is not a correct method. It is not even a safe method, but my captain was attempting to navigate by it, and he was the only one on board who should have been able to tell me that it was a method to be eschewed. I brought the Snark to Hawaii, but the conditions favoured me. The sun was in northern declination and nearly overhead. The legitimate “chronometer-sight” method of ascertaining the longitude I had not heard of—yes, I had heard of it. My first captain mentioned it vaguely, but after one or two attempts at practice of it he mentioned it no more.

It was in Suva, Fiji, that I let go of my third and final captain and took on the role of amateur navigator once again. I had tried it before with my first captain, who, while leaving San Francisco, navigated the Snark so wildly that I really needed to figure out what was going on. It wasn't too hard to figure out since we had a journey of two thousand one hundred miles ahead of us. I didn't know anything about navigation, but after several hours of studying and half an hour of practicing with the sextant, I was able to determine the Snark’s latitude through meridian observation and her longitude using a simple method called "equal altitudes." This isn’t a proper method. It’s not even a safe method, but my captain was trying to navigate this way, and he was the only one on board who should have known it was a method to avoid. I got the Snark to Hawaii, but the conditions worked in my favor. The sun was high in the sky and in northern declination. I hadn’t heard of the proper “chronometer-sight” method for finding longitude—well, I had actually heard of it. My first captain mentioned it vaguely, but after one or two practice attempts, he never brought it up again.

I had time in the Fijis to compare my chronometer with two other chronometers. Two weeks previous, at Pago Pago, in Samoa, I had asked my captain to compare our chronometer with the chronometers on the American cruiser, the Annapolis. This he told me he had done—of course he had done nothing of the sort; and he told me that the difference he had ascertained was only a small fraction of a second. He told it to me with finely simulated joy and with words of praise for my splendid time-keeper. I repeat it now, with words of praise for his splendid and unblushing unveracity. For behold, fourteen days later, in Suva, I compared the chronometer with the one on the Atua, an Australian steamer, and found that mine was thirty-one seconds fast. Now thirty-one seconds of time, converted into arc, equals seven and one-quarter miles. That is to say, if I were sailing west, in the night-time, and my position, according to my dead reckoning from my afternoon chronometer sight, was shown to be seven miles off the land, why, at that very moment I would be crashing on the reef. Next I compared my chronometer with Captain Wooley’s. Captain Wooley, the harbourmaster, gives the time to Suva, firing a gun signal at twelve, noon, three times a week. According to his chronometer mine was fifty-nine seconds fast, which is to say, that, sailing west, I should be crashing on the reef when I thought I was fifteen miles off from it.

I had some time in Fiji to compare my watch with two other watches. Two weeks earlier, in Pago Pago, Samoa, I had asked my captain to compare our watch with the ones on the American cruiser, the Annapolis. He told me he had done that—though he clearly hadn’t—and that the difference he found was just a tiny fraction of a second. He said this with a fake smile and flattering words about my great timepiece. I mention this now, using similar praise for his fantastic and shameless dishonesty. Fast forward fourteen days later, in Suva, I compared my watch with the one on the Atua, an Australian steamer, and found that mine was thirty-one seconds fast. Now, thirty-one seconds of time, converted into distance, equals seven and a quarter miles. In other words, if I were sailing west at night and my location, based on my earlier calculation using the afternoon watch, indicated I was seven miles offshore, I would actually be crashing onto the reef at that very moment. Next, I compared my watch with Captain Wooley’s. Captain Wooley, the harbourmaster, gives the time for Suva, firing a gun signal at noon three times a week. According to his watch, mine was fifty-nine seconds fast, which means that if I were sailing west, I would be crashing onto the reef while thinking I was fifteen miles away from it.

I compromised by subtracting thirty-one seconds from the total of my chronometer’s losing error, and sailed away for Tanna, in the New Hebrides, resolved, when nosing around the land on dark nights, to bear in mind the other seven miles I might be out according to Captain Wooley’s instrument. Tanna lay some six hundred miles west-southwest from the Fijis, and it was my belief that while covering that distance I could quite easily knock into my head sufficient navigation to get me there. Well, I got there, but listen first to my troubles. Navigation is easy, I shall always contend that; but when a man is taking three gasolene engines and a wife around the world and is writing hard every day to keep the engines supplied with gasolene and the wife with pearls and volcanoes, he hasn’t much time left in which to study navigation. Also, it is bound to be easier to study said science ashore, where latitude and longitude are unchanging, in a house whose position never alters, than it is to study navigation on a boat that is rushing along day and night toward land that one is trying to find and which he is liable to find disastrously at a moment when he least expects it.

I made a compromise by taking thirty-one seconds off the total from my chronometer's error, and set sail for Tanna in the New Hebrides. I resolved to keep in mind the extra seven miles I might be off according to Captain Wooley's instrument while exploring the land on dark nights. Tanna was about six hundred miles west-southwest from the Fijis, and I believed that I could easily learn enough navigation to reach it. Well, I made it there, but first, let me share my struggles. Navigation is easy, and I will always argue that; but when a guy is taking three gas engines and a wife around the world and writing hard every day to keep the engines fueled and the wife happy with pearls and volcanoes, he doesn't have much time left to study navigation. Plus, it's definitely easier to learn this science on land, where latitude and longitude don't change, in a house that doesn't move, than it is to study navigation on a boat that's racing day and night towards land you're trying to find, which you might discover in a way that's completely unexpected.

To begin with, there are the compasses and the setting of the courses. We sailed from Suva on Saturday afternoon, June 6, 1908, and it took us till after dark to run the narrow, reef-ridden passage between the islands of Viti Levu and Mbengha. The open ocean lay before me. There was nothing in the way with the exception of Vatu Leile, a miserable little island that persisted in poking up through the sea some twenty miles to the west-southwest—just where I wanted to go. Of course, it seemed quite simple to avoid it by steering a course that would pass it eight or ten miles to the north. It was a black night, and we were running before the wind. The man at the wheel must be told what direction to steer in order to miss Vatu Leile. But what direction? I turned me to the navigation books. “True Course” I lighted upon. The very thing! What I wanted was the true course. I read eagerly on:

To start, we have the compasses and the course settings. We left Suva on Saturday afternoon, June 6, 1908, and it took us until after dark to navigate the narrow, reef-filled passage between the islands of Viti Levu and Mbengha. The open ocean stretched out before me. There was nothing in the way except for Vatu Leile, a miserable little island that stubbornly stuck up through the sea about twenty miles to the west-southwest—exactly where I wanted to go. Naturally, it seemed pretty straightforward to avoid it by steering a course that would take us eight or ten miles to the north. It was a pitch-black night, and we were moving with the wind. The person at the wheel needed to know what direction to steer to miss Vatu Leile. But what direction? I turned to the navigation books. “True Course” caught my eye. Just what I needed! I eagerly continued reading:

“The True Course is the angle made with the meridian by a straight line on the chart drawn to connect the ship’s position with the place bound to.”

“The True Course is the angle formed with the meridian by a straight line on the chart that connects the ship’s current location to the destination.”

Just what I wanted. The Snark’s position was at the western entrance of the passage between Viti Levu and Mbengha. The immediate place she was bound to was a place on the chart ten miles north of Vatu Leile. I pricked that place off on the chart with my dividers, and with my parallel rulers found that west-by-south was the true course. I had but to give it to the man at the wheel and the Snark would win her way to the safety of the open sea.

Just what I wanted. The Snark’s location was at the western entrance of the passage between Viti Levu and Mbengha. The specific spot she was headed to was marked on the map ten miles north of Vatu Leile. I marked that spot on the map with my dividers, and using my parallel rulers, I determined that west-by-south was the correct course. I just had to relay that to the guy at the wheel, and the Snark would make her way safely to the open sea.

But alas and alack and lucky for me, I read on. I discovered that the compass, that trusty, everlasting friend of the mariner, was not given to pointing north. It varied. Sometimes it pointed east of north, sometimes west of north, and on occasion it even turned tail on north and pointed south. The variation at the particular spot on the globe occupied by the Snark was 9° 40′ easterly. Well, that had to be taken into account before I gave the steering course to the man at the wheel. I read:

But unfortunately and luckily for me, I kept reading. I found out that the compass, that reliable, timeless friend of sailors, didn’t always point north. It varied. Sometimes it pointed east of north, sometimes west of north, and occasionally it even turned away from north and pointed south. The variation at the specific spot on the globe where the Snark was located was 9° 40′ east. Well, that had to be considered before I gave the steering course to the person at the wheel. I read:

“The Correct Magnetic Course is derived from the True Course by applying to it the variation.”

“The Correct Magnetic Course is calculated from the True Course by adjusting for the variation.”

Therefore, I reasoned, if the compass points 9° 40′ eastward of north, and I wanted to sail due north, I should have to steer 9° 40′ westward of the north indicated by the compass and which was not north at all. So I added 9° 40′ to the left of my west-by-south course, thus getting my correct Magnetic Course, and was ready once more to run to open sea.

Therefore, I figured, if the compass shows 9° 40′ east of north, and I want to head straight north, I need to steer 9° 40′ west of the north indicated by the compass, which isn't actually north. So, I added 9° 40′ to the left of my west-by-south course, getting my correct Magnetic Course, and was ready to head back out to open sea.

Again alas and alack! The Correct Magnetic Course was not the Compass Course. There was another sly little devil lying in wait to trip me up and land me smashing on the reefs of Vatu Leile. This little devil went by the name of Deviation. I read:

Again, unfortunately! The True Magnetic Course was not the Compass Course. There was another sneaky trick waiting to trip me up and send me crashing onto the reefs of Vatu Leile. This sneaky trick was called Deviation. I read:

“The Compass Course is the course to steer, and is derived from the Correct Magnetic Course by applying to it the Deviation.”

“The Compass Course is the course to follow, which is based on the Correct Magnetic Course with the Deviation applied to it.”

Now Deviation is the variation in the needle caused by the distribution of iron on board of ship. This purely local variation I derived from the deviation card of my standard compass and then applied to the Correct Magnetic Course. The result was the Compass Course. And yet, not yet. My standard compass was amidships on the companionway. My steering compass was aft, in the cockpit, near the wheel. When the steering compass pointed west-by-south three-quarters-south (the steering course), the standard compass pointed west-one-half-north, which was certainly not the steering course. I kept the Snark up till she was heading west-by-south-three-quarters-south on the standard compass, which gave, on the steering compass, south-west-by-west.

Now, Deviation is the difference in the needle caused by the way iron is distributed on the ship. I figured out this local variation from the deviation card of my standard compass and then applied it to the Correct Magnetic Course. The result was the Compass Course. But not just yet. My standard compass was located in the middle of the ship on the companionway, while my steering compass was at the back in the cockpit, close to the wheel. When the steering compass indicated west-by-south three-quarters-south (the steering course), the standard compass showed west-one-half-north, which was definitely not the steering course. I kept the Snark steady until she was pointing west-by-south-three-quarters-south on the standard compass, which translated to south-west-by-west on the steering compass.

The foregoing operations constitute the simple little matter of setting a course. And the worst of it is that one must perform every step correctly or else he will hear “Breakers ahead!” some pleasant night, a nice sea-bath, and be given the delightful diversion of fighting his way to the shore through a horde of man-eating sharks.

The operations mentioned above are just a simple matter of plotting a course. The tricky part is that you have to execute every step correctly, or else you'll hear “Breakers ahead!” on some calm night, take an unexpected swim, and get the added thrill of battling your way to shore through a swarm of hungry sharks.

Just as the compass is tricky and strives to fool the mariner by pointing in all directions except north, so does that guide post of the sky, the sun, persist in not being where it ought to be at a given time. This carelessness of the sun is the cause of more trouble—at least it caused trouble for me. To find out where one is on the earth’s surface, he must know, at precisely the same time, where the sun is in the heavens. That is to say, the sun, which is the timekeeper for men, doesn’t run on time. When I discovered this, I fell into deep gloom and all the Cosmos was filled with doubt. Immutable laws, such as gravitation and the conservation of energy, became wobbly, and I was prepared to witness their violation at any moment and to remain unastonished. For see, if the compass lied and the sun did not keep its engagements, why should not objects lose their mutual attraction and why should not a few bushel baskets of force be annihilated? Even perpetual motion became possible, and I was in a frame of mind prone to purchase Keeley-Motor stock from the first enterprising agent that landed on the Snark’s deck. And when I discovered that the earth really rotated on its axis 366 times a year, while there were only 365 sunrises and sunsets, I was ready to doubt my own identity.

Just like the compass can be misleading and tries to trick sailors by pointing in every direction but north, the sun, that guiding light in the sky, often doesn't show up where it’s supposed to be at any given time. This unpredictability of the sun caused a lot of trouble—at least for me. To figure out where you are on the Earth, you need to know exactly where the sun is in the sky at the same moment. In other words, the sun, which keeps time for people, doesn’t stick to a schedule. When I figured this out, I fell into a deep sadness, and the entire universe filled me with doubt. Unchanging laws like gravity and the conservation of energy started to seem shaky, and I was ready to see them broken at any moment without being surprised. After all, if the compass could lie and the sun couldn’t be counted on, then why wouldn’t objects lose their attraction to one another, and why couldn’t a few baskets full of force just disappear? Even perpetual motion felt possible, and I was in such a mindset that I would have bought Keeley-Motor stock from the first eager salesman who came aboard the Snark. And when I found out that the Earth actually spins on its axis 366 times a year, while there are only 365 sunrises and sunsets, I was ready to question my own identity.

This is the way of the sun. It is so irregular that it is impossible for man to devise a clock that will keep the sun’s time. The sun accelerates and retards as no clock could be made to accelerate and retard. The sun is sometimes ahead of its schedule; at other times it is lagging behind; and at still other times it is breaking the speed limit in order to overtake itself, or, rather, to catch up with where it ought to be in the sky. In this last case it does not slow down quick enough, and, as a result, goes dashing ahead of where it ought to be. In fact, only four days in a year do the sun and the place where the sun ought to be happen to coincide. The remaining 361 days the sun is pothering around all over the shop. Man, being more perfect than the sun, makes a clock that keeps regular time. Also, he calculates how far the sun is ahead of its schedule or behind. The difference between the sun’s position and the position where the sun ought to be if it were a decent, self-respecting sun, man calls the Equation of Time. Thus, the navigator endeavouring to find his ship’s position on the sea, looks in his chronometer to see where precisely the sun ought to be according to the Greenwich custodian of the sun. Then to that location he applies the Equation of Time and finds out where the sun ought to be and isn’t. This latter location, along with several other locations, enables him to find out what the man from Kansas demanded to know some years ago.

This is how the sun works. It's so unpredictable that it's impossible for anyone to create a clock that matches the sun's timing. The sun speeds up and slows down in a way no clock can replicate. Sometimes, the sun is ahead of schedule; other times, it's running behind; and at other moments, it's racing to catch up with itself, or rather, to reach where it should be in the sky. In those instances, it doesn't slow down quickly enough and ends up speeding ahead of where it should be. In fact, only four days a year do the sun and the place it's supposed to be actually align. For the other 361 days, the sun is all over the place. Humans, being more precise than the sun, create clocks that keep consistent time. They also figure out how far the sun is ahead or behind. The difference between the sun's actual position and where it should be, if it were a reliable sun, is what humans refer to as the Equation of Time. So, the navigator trying to determine his ship's location at sea checks his chronometer for where the sun should be according to Greenwich's standard. Then he applies the Equation of Time to find out where the sun should be but isn't. This information, along with several other points, helps him learn what a man from Kansas wanted to know some years ago.

The Snark sailed from Fiji on Saturday, June 6, and the next day, Sunday, on the wide ocean, out of sight of land, I proceeded to endeavour to find out my position by a chronometer sight for longitude and by a meridian observation for latitude. The chronometer sight was taken in the morning when the sun was some 21° above the horizon. I looked in the Nautical Almanac and found that on that very day, June 7, the sun was behind time 1 minute and 26 seconds, and that it was catching up at a rate of 14.67 seconds per hour. The chronometer said that at the precise moment of taking the sun’s altitude it was twenty-five minutes after eight o’clock at Greenwich. From this date it would seem a schoolboy’s task to correct the Equation of Time. Unfortunately, I was not a schoolboy. Obviously, at the middle of the day, at Greenwich, the sun was 1 minute and 26 seconds behind time. Equally obviously, if it were eleven o’clock in the morning, the sun would be 1 minute and 26 seconds behind time plus 14.67 seconds. If it were ten o’clock in the morning, twice 14.67 seconds would have to be added. And if it were 8: 25 in the morning, then 3½ times 14.67 seconds would have to be added. Quite clearly, then, if, instead of being 8:25 A.M., it were 8:25 P.M., then 8½ times 14.67 seconds would have to be, not added, but subtracted; for, if, at noon, the sun were 1 minute and 26 seconds behind time, and if it were catching up with where it ought to be at the rate of 14.67 seconds per hour, then at 8.25 P.M. it would be much nearer where it ought to be than it had been at noon.

The Snark left Fiji on Saturday, June 6, and the next day, Sunday, out in the open ocean, far from land, I tried to determine my location using a chronometer sight for longitude and a meridian observation for latitude. I took the chronometer sight in the morning when the sun was about 21° above the horizon. I checked the Nautical Almanac and found that on June 7, the sun was 1 minute and 26 seconds behind schedule, and it was catching up at a rate of 14.67 seconds per hour. The chronometer indicated that at the exact moment I recorded the sun’s altitude, it was twenty-five minutes past eight o’clock at Greenwich. From this point, correcting the Equation of Time seemed like a simple task for a schoolboy. Unfortunately, I wasn’t a schoolboy. Clearly, at midday in Greenwich, the sun was 1 minute and 26 seconds behind schedule. Likewise, if it was eleven o’clock in the morning, the sun would be 1 minute and 26 seconds behind plus 14.67 seconds. If it was ten o’clock, I would need to add twice 14.67 seconds. And if it was 8:25 in the morning, I would have to add 3½ times 14.67 seconds. It was clear that if it were 8:25 AM, instead of 8:25 PM, then I would have to subtract 8½ times 14.67 seconds; because if at noon the sun was 1 minute and 26 seconds behind schedule, and it was catching up at 14.67 seconds per hour, then at 8:25 PM, it would be much closer to where it should be than it was at noon.

So far, so good. But was that 8:25 of the chronometer A.M., or P.M.? I looked at the Snark’s clock. It marked 8:9, and it was certainly A.M. for I had just finished breakfast. Therefore, if it was eight in the morning on board the Snark, the eight o’clock of the chronometer (which was the time of the day at Greenwich) must be a different eight o’clock from the Snark’s eight o’clock. But what eight o’clock was it? It can’t be the eight o’clock of this morning, I reasoned; therefore, it must be either eight o’clock this evening or eight o’clock last night.

So far, so good. But was that 8:25 on the chronometer AM or PM? I checked the Snark’s clock. It said 8:09, and it was definitely AM since I had just finished breakfast. So if it was eight in the morning on the Snark, the eight o’clock on the chronometer (which was the time of day at Greenwich) had to be a different eight o’clock than the one on the Snark. But which eight o’clock was it? It can’t be the eight o’clock from this morning, I thought; therefore, it must be either eight o’clock this evening or eight o’clock last night.

It was at this juncture that I fell into the bottomless pit of intellectual chaos. We are in east longitude, I reasoned, therefore we are ahead of Greenwich. If we are behind Greenwich, then to-day is yesterday; if we are ahead of Greenwich, then yesterday is to-day, but if yesterday is to-day, what under the sun is to-day!—to-morrow? Absurd! Yet it must be correct. When I took the sun this morning at 8:25, the sun’s custodians at Greenwich were just arising from dinner last night.

It was at this point that I fell into a deep state of mental confusion. We're in eastern longitude, I thought, which means we're ahead of Greenwich. If we're behind Greenwich, then today is yesterday; if we're ahead of Greenwich, then yesterday is today. But if yesterday is today, what on earth is today?—tomorrow? Absurd! But it has to be right. When I checked the sun this morning at 8:25, the people at Greenwich were just getting up from dinner the night before.

“Then correct the Equation of Time for yesterday,” says my logical mind.

“Then adjust the Equation of Time for yesterday,” says my logical mind.

“But to-day is to-day,” my literal mind insists. “I must correct the sun for to-day and not for yesterday.”

“But today is today,” my literal mind insists. “I have to correct the sun for today and not for yesterday.”

“Yet to-day is yesterday,” urges my logical mind.

“Yet today is yesterday,” urges my logical mind.

“That’s all very well,” my literal mind continues, “If I were in Greenwich I might be in yesterday. Strange things happen in Greenwich. But I know as sure as I am living that I am here, now, in to-day, June 7, and that I took the sun here, now, to-day, June 7. Therefore, I must correct the sun here, now, to-day, June 7.”

“That’s all nice and dandy,” my literal mind goes on, “If I were in Greenwich, I might be in yesterday. Strange things happen in Greenwich. But I know for sure that I am here, now, today, June 7, and that I observed the sun here, now, today, June 7. Therefore, I need to correct the sun here, now, today, June 7.”

“Bosh!” snaps my logical mind. “Lecky says—”

“Come on!” snaps my logical mind. “Lecky says—”

“Never mind what Lecky says,” interrupts my literal mind. “Let me tell you what the Nautical Almanac says. The Nautical Almanac says that to-day, June 7, the sun was 1 minute and 26 seconds behind time and catching up at the rate of 14.67 seconds per hour. It says that yesterday, June 6, the sun was 1 minute and 36 seconds behind time and catching up at the rate of 15.66 seconds per hour. You see, it is preposterous to think of correcting to-day’s sun by yesterday’s time-table.”

“Forget what Lecky says,” my literal mind interjects. “Let me share what the Nautical Almanac states. The Nautical Almanac says that today, June 7, the sun was 1 minute and 26 seconds behind schedule and is catching up at a rate of 14.67 seconds per hour. It also says that yesterday, June 6, the sun was 1 minute and 36 seconds behind schedule and was catching up at a rate of 15.66 seconds per hour. You see, it's ridiculous to think about adjusting today’s sun based on yesterday’s timetable.”

“Fool!”

"Idiot!"

“Idiot!”

"Idiot!"

Back and forth they wrangle until my head is whirling around and I am ready to believe that I am in the day after the last week before next.

Back and forth they argue until my head is spinning and I'm ready to believe that I'm in the day after the last week before next.

I remembered a parting caution of the Suva harbour-master: “In east longitude take from the Nautical Almanac the elements for the preceding day.”

I recalled a farewell warning from the Suva harbor master: “For east longitude, refer to the Nautical Almanac for the data from the previous day.”

Then a new thought came to me. I corrected the Equation of Time for Sunday and for Saturday, making two separate operations of it, and lo, when the results were compared, there was a difference only of four-tenths of a second. I was a changed man. I had found my way out of the crypt. The Snark was scarcely big enough to hold me and my experience. Four-tenths of a second would make a difference of only one-tenth of a mile—a cable-length!

Then a new idea hit me. I adjusted the Equation of Time for both Sunday and Saturday, doing the calculations separately, and suddenly, when I compared the results, there was only a difference of four-tenths of a second. I felt like a different person. I had found my way out of the dark place. The Snark was barely big enough to contain me and what I'd gone through. Four-tenths of a second would only result in a difference of one-tenth of a mile—a cable-length!

All went merrily for ten minutes, when I chanced upon the following rhyme for navigators:

All went well for ten minutes, when I came across the following rhyme for navigators:

“Greenwich time least
Longitude east;
Greenwich best,
Longitude west.”

“Greenwich time is the least
Longitude east;
Greenwich is the best,
Longitude west.”

Heavens! The Snark’s time was not as good as Greenwich time. When it was 8:25 at Greenwich, on board the Snark it was only 8:9. “Greenwich time best, longitude west.” There I was. In west longitude beyond a doubt.

Heavens! The Snark’s time wasn't as accurate as Greenwich time. When it was 8:25 in Greenwich, on the Snark it was only 8:09. “Greenwich time is best, longitude west.” There I was. In west longitude, no doubt about it.

“Silly!” cries my literal mind. “You are 8:9 A.M. and Greenwich is 8:25 P.M.

“Silly!” cries my literal mind. “You are 8:9 AM and Greenwich is 8:25 P.M.

“Very well,” answers my logical mind. “To be correct, 8.25 P.M. is really twenty hours and twenty-five minutes, and that is certainly better than eight hours and nine minutes. No, there is no discussion; you are in west longitude.”

“Alright,” replies my logical mind. “To be precise, 8.25 PM is actually twenty hours and twenty-five minutes, and that is definitely better than eight hours and nine minutes. No, there’s no debate; you’re in west longitude.”

Then my literal mind triumphs.

Then my literal thinking wins.

“We sailed from Suva, in the Fijis, didn’t we?” it demands, and logical mind agrees. “And Suva is in east longitude?” Again logical mind agrees. “And we sailed west (which would take us deeper into east longitude), didn’t we? Therefore, and you can’t escape it, we are in east longitude.”

“We left Suva, in Fiji, right?” it insists, and the logical mind agrees. “And Suva is in east longitude?” Again, the logical mind agrees. “And we sailed west (which would take us further into east longitude), didn’t we? So, and you can’t avoid it, we are in east longitude.”

“Greenwich time best, longitude west,” chants my logical mind; “and you must grant that twenty hours and twenty-five minutes is better than eight hours and nine minutes.”

“Greenwich time is best, longitude west,” says my logical mind; “and you have to admit that twenty hours and twenty-five minutes is better than eight hours and nine minutes.”

“All right,” I break in upon the squabble; “we’ll work up the sight and then we’ll see.”

“All right,” I interrupt the argument; “let’s check the view and then we’ll decide.”

And work it up I did, only to find that my longitude was 184° west.

And I did work it out, only to discover that my longitude was 184° west.

“I told you so,” snorts my logical mind.

“I told you so,” snarks my logical mind.

I am dumbfounded. So is my literal mind, for several minutes. Then it enounces:

I am shocked. My literal mind is too, for several minutes. Then it speaks:

“But there is no 184° west longitude, nor east longitude, nor any other longitude. The largest meridian is 180° as you ought to know very well.”

“But there is no 184° west longitude, nor east longitude, nor any other longitude. The largest meridian is 180°, as you should know very well.”

Having got this far, literal mind collapses from the brain strain, logical mind is dumb flabbergasted; and as for me, I get a bleak and wintry look in my eyes and go around wondering whether I am sailing toward the China coast or the Gulf of Darien.

Having come this far, my literal mind crashes from the mental strain, my logical mind is utterly dumbfounded; and as for me, I get a grim, wintry look in my eyes and wander around questioning whether I am heading toward the China coast or the Gulf of Darien.

Then a thin small voice, which I do not recognize, coming from nowhere in particular in my consciousness, says:

Then a thin, soft voice that I don’t recognize, coming from nowhere specific in my mind, says:

“The total number of degrees is 360. Subtract the 184° west longitude from 360°, and you will get 176° east longitude.”

“The total number of degrees is 360. Subtract 184° west longitude from 360°, and you will get 176° east longitude.”

“That is sheer speculation,” objects literal mind; and logical mind remonstrates. “There is no rule for it.”

“That's just pure guesswork,” argues the literal mind; and the logical mind protests, “There’s no rule for that.”

“Darn the rules!” I exclaim. “Ain’t I here?”

“Forget the rules!” I say. “Aren't I here?”

“The thing is self-evident,” I continue. “184° west longitude means a lapping over in east longitude of four degrees. Besides I have been in east longitude all the time. I sailed from Fiji, and Fiji is in east longitude. Now I shall chart my position and prove it by dead reckoning.”

“The thing is clear,” I continue. “184° west longitude means overlapping east longitude by four degrees. Besides, I’ve been in east longitude the whole time. I sailed from Fiji, and Fiji is in east longitude. Now I’ll chart my position and prove it with dead reckoning.”

But other troubles and doubts awaited me. Here is a sample of one. In south latitude, when the sun is in northern declination, chronometer sights may be taken early in the morning. I took mine at eight o’clock. Now, one of the necessary elements in working up such a sight is latitude. But one gets latitude at twelve o’clock, noon, by a meridian observation. It is clear that in order to work up my eight o’clock chronometer sight I must have my eight o’clock latitude. Of course, if the Snark were sailing due west at six knots per hour, for the intervening four hours her latitude would not change. But if she were sailing due south, her latitude would change to the tune of twenty-four miles. In which case a simple addition or subtraction would convert the twelve o’clock latitude into eight o’clock latitude. But suppose the Snark were sailing southwest. Then the traverse tables must be consulted.

But other troubles and doubts were ahead of me. Here’s one example. In the southern latitudes, when the sun is in the northern hemisphere, you can take chronometer readings early in the morning. I took mine at eight o’clock. One of the key elements in calculating a sight like this is latitude. However, you get latitude at noon by a meridian observation. It’s clear that to calculate my eight o’clock chronometer sight, I need my latitude from eight o’clock. Now, if the Snark was sailing due west at six knots per hour, her latitude wouldn’t change for those four hours. But if she was sailing due south, her latitude would change by twenty-four miles. In that case, a simple addition or subtraction would adjust the latitude from noon to eight o’clock. But if the Snark was heading southwest, then I’d need to check the traverse tables.

This is the illustration. At eight A.M. I took my chronometer sight. At the same moment the distance recorded on the log was noted. At twelve M., when the sight for latitude was taken, I again noted the log, which showed me that since eight o’clock the Snark had run 24 miles. Her true course had been west ¾ south. I entered Table I, in the distance column, on the page for ¾ point courses, and stopped at 24, the number of miles run. Opposite, in the next two columns, I found that the Snark had made 3.5 miles of southing or latitude, and that she had made 23.7 miles of westing. To find my eight o’clock’ latitude was easy. I had but to subtract 3.5 miles from my noon latitude. All the elements being present, I worked up my longitude.

This is the illustration. At eight A.M. I took my chronometer reading. At the same moment, I noted the distance recorded on the log. At twelve PM, when I took the latitude reading, I noted the log again, which showed that since eight o’clock, the Snark had traveled 24 miles. Her true course had been west ¾ south. I entered Table I in the distance column on the page for ¾ point courses and stopped at 24, the number of miles traveled. Across from that, in the next two columns, I saw that the Snark had made 3.5 miles of southing or latitude, and that she had made 23.7 miles of westing. Finding my eight o’clock latitude was easy. I just had to subtract 3.5 miles from my noon latitude. With all the information at hand, I worked out my longitude.

But this was my eight o’clock longitude. Since then, and up till noon, I had made 23.7 miles of westing. What was my noon longitude? I followed the rule, turning to Traverse Table No. II. Entering the table, according to rule, and going through every detail, according to rule, I found the difference of longitude for the four hours to be 25 miles. I was aghast. I entered the table again, according to rule; I entered the table half a dozen times, according to rule, and every time found that my difference of longitude was 25 miles. I leave it to you, gentle reader. Suppose you had sailed 24 miles and that you had covered 3.5 miles of latitude, then how could you have covered 25 miles of longitude? Even if you had sailed due west 24 miles, and not changed your latitude, how could you have changed your longitude 25 miles? In the name of human reason, how could you cover one mile more of longitude than the total number of miles you had sailed?

But this was my eight o'clock longitude. Since then, and until noon, I had traveled 23.7 miles west. What was my noon longitude? I followed the procedure, turning to Traverse Table No. II. Entering the table according to the steps, and going through every detail as instructed, I found the difference in longitude over the four hours to be 25 miles. I was shocked. I checked the table again, as instructed; I checked the table half a dozen times, following the steps, and each time I found the difference in longitude was 25 miles. I leave it to you, dear reader. Imagine you had sailed 24 miles and covered 3.5 miles of latitude; how could you have covered 25 miles of longitude? Even if you had sailed directly west for 24 miles and not changed your latitude, how could you have changed your longitude by 25 miles? In the name of common sense, how could you cover one mile more of longitude than the total miles you had sailed?

It was a reputable traverse table, being none other than Bowditch’s. The rule was simple (as navigators’ rules go); I had made no error. I spent an hour over it, and at the end still faced the glaring impossibility of having sailed 24 miles, in the course of which I changed my latitude 3.5 miles and my longitude 25 miles. The worst of it was that there was nobody to help me out. Neither Charmian nor Martin knew as much as I knew about navigation. And all the time the Snark was rushing madly along toward Tanna, in the New Hebrides. Something had to be done.

It was a reliable traverse table, specifically Bowditch’s. The rules were straightforward (as navigators’ rules go); I hadn’t made any mistakes. I spent an hour on it, and in the end, I still faced the glaring impossibility of having sailed 24 miles, during which I changed my latitude by 3.5 miles and my longitude by 25 miles. The worst part was that there was no one to help me out. Neither Charmian nor Martin knew as much about navigation as I did. Meanwhile, the Snark was barreling toward Tanna in the New Hebrides. Something needed to be done.

How it came to me I know not—call it an inspiration if you will; but the thought arose in me: if southing is latitude, why isn’t westing longitude? Why should I have to change westing into longitude? And then the whole beautiful situation dawned upon me. The meridians of longitude are 60 miles (nautical) apart at the equator. At the poles they run together. Thus, if I should travel up the 180° meridian of longitude until I reached the North Pole, and if the astronomer at Greenwich travelled up the 0 meridian of longitude to the North Pole, then, at the North Pole, we could shake hands with each other, though before we started for the North Pole we had been some thousands of miles apart. Again: if a degree of longitude was 60 miles wide at the equator, and if the same degree, at the point of the Pole, had no width, then somewhere between the Pole and the equator that degree would be half a mile wide, and at other places a mile wide, two miles wide, ten miles wide, thirty miles wide, ay, and sixty miles wide.

How it came to me, I don't know—call it inspiration if you want; but the thought popped into my mind: if southing is latitude, why isn’t westing longitude? Why should I have to change westing into longitude? Then it all became clear to me. The lines of longitude are 60 nautical miles apart at the equator. At the poles, they converge. So, if I were to travel up the 180° line of longitude until I reached the North Pole, and if the astronomer at Greenwich traveled up the 0 meridian to the North Pole, then at the North Pole, we could shake hands, even though we started out thousands of miles apart. Furthermore, if a degree of longitude is 60 miles wide at the equator, and that same degree has no width at the pole, then somewhere between the pole and the equator, that degree would be half a mile wide, and at other places a mile wide, two miles wide, ten miles wide, thirty miles wide, yes, and even sixty miles wide.

All was plain again. The Snark was in 19° south latitude. The world wasn’t as big around there as at the equator. Therefore, every mile of westing at 19° south was more than a minute of longitude; for sixty miles were sixty miles, but sixty minutes are sixty miles only at the equator. George Francis Train broke Jules Verne’s record of around the world. But any man that wants can break George Francis Train’s record. Such a man would need only to go, in a fast steamer, to the latitude of Cape Horn, and sail due east all the way around. The world is very small in that latitude, and there is no land in the way to turn him out of his course. If his steamer maintained sixteen knots, he would circumnavigate the globe in just about forty days.

All was clear again. The Snark was at 19° south latitude. The world wasn’t as wide there as it is at the equator. So, every mile traveled west at 19° south was more than a minute of longitude; sixty miles is still sixty miles, but sixty minutes only equals sixty miles at the equator. George Francis Train set a new record for traveling around the world. But anyone who wants to can beat George Francis Train’s record. That person would just need to take a fast steamer to the latitude of Cape Horn and sail straight east all the way around. The world feels very small at that latitude, and there’s no land to throw him off course. If his steamer kept a speed of sixteen knots, he could circle the globe in about forty days.

But there are compensations. On Wednesday evening, June 10, I brought up my noon position by dead reckoning to eight P.M. Then I projected the Snark’s course and saw that she would strike Futuna, one of the easternmost of the New Hebrides, a volcanic cone two thousand feet high that rose out of the deep ocean. I altered the course so that the Snark would pass ten miles to the northward. Then I spoke to Wada, the cook, who had the wheel every morning from four to six.

But there are upsides. On Wednesday evening, June 10, I updated my noon position by dead reckoning to 8 PM. Then I mapped out the course of the Snark and realized she would hit Futuna, one of the easternmost islands of the New Hebrides, a volcanic cone two thousand feet high that jutted out of the deep ocean. I changed the course so that the Snark would pass ten miles to the north. Then I talked to Wada, the cook, who had the wheel every morning from four to six.

“Wada San, to-morrow morning, your watch, you look sharp on weather-bow you see land.”

“Wada San, tomorrow morning, keep an eye on your watch; look closely to the weather side, you’ll see land.”

And then I went to bed. The die was cast. I had staked my reputation as a navigator. Suppose, just suppose, that at daybreak there was no land. Then, where would my navigation be? And where would we be? And how would we ever find ourselves? or find any land? I caught ghastly visions of the Snark sailing for months through ocean solitudes and seeking vainly for land while we consumed our provisions and sat down with haggard faces to stare cannibalism in the face.

And then I went to bed. The decision was made. I had put my reputation as a navigator on the line. What if, just what if, there was no land at dawn? Then, where would my navigation skills take us? And where would we be? How would we ever find our way or discover any land? I imagined horrifying scenes of the Snark drifting for months across empty oceans, desperately searching for land while we ran out of supplies and sat there with worn-out faces, facing the grim reality of cannibalism.

I confess my sleep was not

I confess I didn't sleep well.

“ . . . like a summer sky
That held the music of a lark.”

“ . . . like a summer sky
That brought the song of a lark.”

Rather did “I waken to the voiceless dark,” and listen to the creaking of the bulkheads and the rippling of the sea alongside as the Snark logged steadily her six knots an hour. I went over my calculations again and again, striving to find some mistake, until my brain was in such fever that it discovered dozens of mistakes. Suppose, instead of being sixty miles off Futuna, that my navigation was all wrong and that I was only six miles off? In which case my course would be wrong, too, and for all I knew the Snark might be running straight at Futuna. For all I knew the Snark might strike Futuna the next moment. I almost sprang from the bunk at that thought; and, though I restrained myself, I know that I lay for a moment, nervous and tense, waiting for the shock.

I woke up to the silent darkness and listened to the creaking of the walls and the gentle lapping of the sea as the Snark steadily logged six knots an hour. I went over my calculations again and again, trying to find any mistakes, until my mind was racing with so much stress that it started imagining dozens of errors. What if, instead of being sixty miles away from Futuna, my navigation was completely off and I was only six miles away? In that case, my course would be wrong too, and for all I knew, the Snark could be heading straight for Futuna. For all I knew, the Snark could hit Futuna at any moment. That thought almost made me jump out of the bunk; and though I held myself back, I stayed there for a moment, anxious and tense, waiting for the impact.

My sleep was broken by miserable nightmares. Earthquake seemed the favourite affliction, though there was one man, with a bill, who persisted in dunning me throughout the night. Also, he wanted to fight; and Charmian continually persuaded me to let him alone. Finally, however, the man with the everlasting dun ventured into a dream from which Charmian was absent. It was my opportunity, and we went at it, gloriously, all over the sidewalk and street, until he cried enough. Then I said, “Now how about that bill?” Having conquered, I was willing to pay. But the man looked at me and groaned. “It was all a mistake,” he said; “the bill is for the house next door.”

My sleep was interrupted by terrible nightmares. Earthquakes seemed to be the favorite torment, but there was also this guy with a bill who kept bothering me all night. He wanted to fight, and Charmian kept encouraging me to ignore him. In the end, though, the persistent bill collector entered a dream where Charmian wasn’t around. It was my chance, and we went at it fiercely all over the sidewalk and street until he called it quits. Then I said, “So what about that bill?” Having won, I was ready to pay. But the guy looked at me and sighed. “It was all a mistake,” he said; “the bill is for the house next door.”

That settled him, for he worried my dreams no more; and it settled me, too, for I woke up chuckling at the episode. It was three in the morning. I went up on deck. Henry, the Rapa islander, was steering. I looked at the log. It recorded forty-two miles. The Snark had not abated her six-knot gait, and she had not struck Futuna yet. At half-past five I was again on deck. Wada, at the wheel, had seen no land. I sat on the cockpit rail, a prey to morbid doubt for a quarter of an hour. Then I saw land, a small, high piece of land, just where it ought to be, rising from the water on the weather-bow. At six o’clock I could clearly make it out to be the beautiful volcanic cone of Futuna. At eight o’clock, when it was abreast, I took its distance by the sextant and found it to be 9.3 miles away. And I had elected to pass it 10 miles away!

That put his mind at ease, so he no longer troubled my dreams; it settled me too, as I woke up laughing about the whole thing. It was three in the morning. I went up on deck. Henry, the Rapa islander, was at the helm. I checked the log. It recorded forty-two miles. The Snark hadn’t slowed her six-knot pace, and we still hadn’t reached Futuna. At half-past five, I was back on deck. Wada, at the wheel, hadn’t spotted any land. I sat on the cockpit rail, overwhelmed by anxiety for a good fifteen minutes. Then I saw land, a small, high piece of land exactly where it was supposed to be, rising from the sea to the front-right. At six o’clock, I could clearly identify it as the stunning volcanic cone of Futuna. By eight o’clock, when it was even with us, I took its distance with the sextant and measured it to be 9.3 miles away. And I had planned to pass it ten miles away!

Then, to the south, Aneiteum rose out of the sea, to the north, Aniwa, and, dead ahead, Tanna. There was no mistaking Tanna, for the smoke of its volcano was towering high in the sky. It was forty miles away, and by afternoon, as we drew close, never ceasing to log our six knots, we saw that it was a mountainous, hazy land, with no apparent openings in its coast-line. I was looking for Port Resolution, though I was quite prepared to find that as an anchorage, it had been destroyed. Volcanic earthquakes had lifted its bottom during the last forty years, so that where once the largest ships rode at anchor there was now, by last reports, scarcely space and depth sufficient for the Snark. And why should not another convulsion, since the last report, have closed the harbour completely?

Then, to the south, Aneiteum rose out of the sea, to the north, Aniwa, and straight ahead, Tanna. There was no mistaking Tanna, because the smoke from its volcano was reaching high into the sky. It was forty miles away, and by afternoon, as we got closer, maintaining our speed of six knots, we saw that it was a mountainous, hazy land, with no clear openings along its coastline. I was looking for Port Resolution, though I was fully prepared to find that as an anchorage, it might have been destroyed. Volcanic earthquakes had raised its seabed over the last forty years, so that where the largest ships used to anchor, there was now, according to the latest reports, barely enough space and depth for the Snark. And why shouldn't another eruption, since the last report, have completely blocked the harbor?

I ran in close to the unbroken coast, fringed with rocks awash upon which the crashing trade-wind sea burst white and high. I searched with my glasses for miles, but could see no entrance. I took a compass bearing of Futuna, another of Aniwa, and laid them off on the chart. Where the two bearings crossed was bound to be the position of the Snark. Then, with my parallel rulers, I laid down a course from the Snark’s position to Port Resolution. Having corrected this course for variation and deviation, I went on deck, and lo, the course directed me towards that unbroken coast-line of bursting seas. To my Rapa islander’s great concern, I held on till the rocks awash were an eighth of a mile away.

I ran close to the unbroken coast, lined with rocks that were covered by the crashing waves of the trade winds. I scanned the horizon with my binoculars for miles but couldn’t find any entrance. I took a compass reading of Futuna, another of Aniwa, and plotted them on the chart. Where the two readings intersected was surely where the Snark was located. Then, using my parallel rulers, I drew a course from the Snark’s position to Port Resolution. After adjusting this course for variation and deviation, I went on deck, and to my surprise, the course pointed me straight towards that unbroken coastline with its crashing waves. Concerned for my Rapa islander, I continued until the rocky shore was an eighth of a mile away.

“No harbour this place,” he announced, shaking his head ominously.

“No harbor here,” he said, shaking his head seriously.

But I altered the course and ran along parallel with the coast. Charmian was at the wheel. Martin was at the engine, ready to throw on the propeller. A narrow slit of an opening showed up suddenly. Through the glasses I could see the seas breaking clear across. Henry, the Rapa man, looked with troubled eyes; so did Tehei, the Tahaa man.

But I changed direction and ran parallel to the coast. Charmian was at the wheel. Martin was at the engine, ready to engage the propeller. A narrow gap appeared suddenly. Through the binoculars, I could see the waves crashing across. Henry, the Rapa man, looked worried; so did Tehei, the Tahaa man.

“No passage, there,” said Henry. “We go there, we finish quick, sure.”

“No way in there,” said Henry. “If we go in, we’ll get it done fast, for sure.”

I confess I thought so, too; but I ran on abreast, watching to see if the line of breakers from one side the entrance did not overlap the line from the other side. Sure enough, it did. A narrow place where the sea ran smooth appeared. Charmian put down the wheel and steadied for the entrance. Martin threw on the engine, while all hands and the cook sprang to take in sail.

I admit I thought that too, but I kept going alongside, watching to see if the line of waves on one side of the entrance didn’t overlap with the line from the other side. Sure enough, it did. A narrow spot where the sea was calm appeared. Charmian put down the wheel and braced for the entrance. Martin fired up the engine, while everyone and the cook rushed to take in the sails.

A trader’s house showed up in the bight of the bay. A geyser, on the shore, a hundred yards away; spouted a column of steam. To port, as we rounded a tiny point, the mission station appeared.

A trader's house appeared in the curve of the bay. A geyser, a hundred yards away on the shore, shot up a column of steam. To the left, as we rounded a small point, we saw the mission station.

“Three fathoms,” cried Wada at the lead-line. “Three fathoms,” “two fathoms,” came in quick succession.

“Three fathoms,” shouted Wada at the lead-line. “Three fathoms,” “two fathoms,” came one after another swiftly.

Charmian put the wheel down, Martin stopped the engine, and the Snark rounded to and the anchor rumbled down in three fathoms. Before we could catch our breaths a swarm of black Tannese was alongside and aboard—grinning, apelike creatures, with kinky hair and troubled eyes, wearing safety-pins and clay-pipes in their slitted ears: and as for the rest, wearing nothing behind and less than that before. And I don’t mind telling that that night, when everybody was asleep, I sneaked up on deck, looked out over the quiet scene, and gloated—yes, gloated—over my navigation.

Charmian put the wheel down, Martin turned off the engine, and the Snark turned around while the anchor dropped with a thud in three fathoms of water. Before we could catch our breath, a group of black Tannese swarmed alongside and boarded—grinning, ape-like people with curly hair and troubled eyes, wearing safety pins and clay pipes in their pierced ears; as for their clothing, they wore almost nothing behind and even less in front. And I’ll admit that that night, when everyone else was asleep, I snuck up on deck, looked out over the calm scene, and reveled—yes, reveled—over my navigation.

CHAPTER XV
Cruising in the Solomons

Why not come along now?” said Captain Jansen to us, at Penduffryn, on the island of Guadalcanar.

Why? not join us now?” Captain Jansen said to us at Penduffryn, on the island of Guadalcanar.

Charmian and I looked at each other and debated silently for half a minute. Then we nodded our heads simultaneously. It is a way we have of making up our minds to do things; and a very good way it is when one has no temperamental tears to shed over the last tin-of condensed milk when it has capsized. (We are living on tinned goods these days, and since mind is rumoured to be an emanation of matter, our similes are naturally of the packing-house variety.)

Charmian and I exchanged glances and silently debated for about thirty seconds. Then we both nodded at the same time. It's our way of deciding on things, and it's pretty effective when there are no emotional tears to waste over a spilled can of condensed milk. (These days, we’re living off canned goods, and since it’s said that the mind is a product of material things, our comparisons naturally come from the world of packaging.)

“You’d better bring your revolvers along, and a couple of rifles,” said Captain Jansen. “I’ve got five rifles aboard, though the one Mauser is without ammunition. Have you a few rounds to spare?”

“You should definitely bring your revolvers, along with a couple of rifles,” said Captain Jansen. “I have five rifles on board, although one Mauser is out of ammo. Do you have a few rounds to spare?”

We brought our rifles on board, several handfuls of Mauser cartridges, and Wada and Nakata, the Snark’s cook and cabin-boy respectively. Wada and Nakata were in a bit of a funk. To say the least, they were not enthusiastic, though never did Nakata show the white feather in the face of danger. The Solomon Islands had not dealt kindly with them. In the first place, both had suffered from Solomon sores. So had the rest of us (at the time, I was nursing two fresh ones on a diet of corrosive sublimate); but the two Japanese had had more than their share. And the sores are not nice. They may be described as excessively active ulcers. A mosquito bite, a cut, or the slightest abrasion, serves for lodgment of the poison with which the air seems to be filled. Immediately the ulcer commences to eat. It eats in every direction, consuming skin and muscle with astounding rapidity. The pin-point ulcer of the first day is the size of a dime by the second day, and by the end of the week a silver dollar will not cover it.

We brought our rifles on board, a bunch of Mauser cartridges, and Wada and Nakata, the cook and cabin-boy of the Snark. Wada and Nakata were feeling a bit down. To put it mildly, they weren’t very enthusiastic, though Nakata never showed fear when faced with danger. The Solomon Islands had not treated them well. First off, both had suffered from Solomon sores. So had the rest of us (at that time, I was dealing with two fresh ones while taking corrosive sublimate); but the two Japanese had experienced more than their fair share. And the sores are really unpleasant. They can be described as highly active ulcers. A mosquito bite, a cut, or even the slightest scrape can become a gateway for the poison that seems to fill the air. Right away, the ulcer starts to invade. It spreads rapidly, destroying skin and muscle at an alarming rate. The tiny ulcer from the first day becomes the size of a dime by the second day, and by the end of the week, a silver dollar wouldn’t even cover it.

Worse than the sores, the two Japanese had been afflicted with Solomon Island fever. Each had been down repeatedly with it, and in their weak, convalescent moments they were wont to huddle together on the portion of the Snark that happened to be nearest to faraway Japan, and to gaze yearningly in that direction.

Worse than the sores, the two Japanese had been struck with Solomon Island fever. Each had suffered from it multiple times, and during their weak, recovering moments they would huddle together on the part of the Snark that was closest to distant Japan, gazing longingly in that direction.

But worst of all, they were now brought on board the Minota for a recruiting cruise along the savage coast of Malaita. Wada, who had the worse funk, was sure that he would never see Japan again, and with bleak, lack-lustre eyes he watched our rifles and ammunition going on board the Minota. He knew about the Minota and her Malaita cruises. He knew that she had been captured six months before on the Malaita coast, that her captain had been chopped to pieces with tomahawks, and that, according to the barbarian sense of equity on that sweet isle, she owed two more heads. Also, a labourer on Penduffryn Plantation, a Malaita boy, had just died of dysentery, and Wada knew that Penduffryn had been put in the debt of Malaita by one more head. Furthermore, in stowing our luggage away in the skipper’s tiny cabin, he saw the axe gashes on the door where the triumphant bushmen had cut their way in. And, finally, the galley stove was without a pipe—said pipe having been part of the loot.

But worst of all, they were now taken aboard the Minota for a recruiting mission along the savage coast of Malaita. Wada, who was the most anxious, was sure he would never see Japan again, and with dull, lifeless eyes, he watched as our rifles and ammunition were loaded onto the Minota. He knew about the Minota and her cruises to Malaita. He knew she had been captured six months earlier on the Malaita coast, that her captain had been brutally killed with tomahawks, and that, according to the barbaric sense of justice on that beautiful island, she owed two more heads. Also, a laborer on Penduffryn Plantation, a boy from Malaita, had just died of dysentery, and Wada understood that Penduffryn had incurred a debt to Malaita for one more head. Additionally, while packing our bags into the captain’s tiny cabin, he saw the axe marks on the door where the victorious bushmen had broken in. And lastly, the galley stove was missing a pipe—said pipe having been part of the loot.

The Minota was a teak-built, Australian yacht, ketch-rigged, long and lean, with a deep fin-keel, and designed for harbour racing rather than for recruiting blacks. When Charmian and I came on board, we found her crowded. Her double boat’s crew, including substitutes, was fifteen, and she had a score and more of “return” boys, whose time on the plantations was served and who were bound back to their bush villages. To look at, they were certainly true head-hunting cannibals. Their perforated nostrils were thrust through with bone and wooden bodkins the size of lead-pencils. Numbers of them had punctured the extreme meaty point of the nose, from which protruded, straight out, spikes of turtle-shell or of beads strung on stiff wire. A few had further punctured their noses with rows of holes following the curves of the nostrils from lip to point. Each ear of every man had from two to a dozen holes in it—holes large enough to carry wooden plugs three inches in diameter down to tiny holes in which were carried clay-pipes and similar trifles. In fact, so many holes did they possess that they lacked ornaments to fill them; and when, the following day, as we neared Malaita, we tried out our rifles to see that they were in working order, there was a general scramble for the empty cartridges, which were thrust forthwith into the many aching voids in our passengers’ ears.

The Minota was a sleek, teak-built Australian yacht, ketch-rigged, long and slender, with a deep fin keel, designed more for harbor racing than for recruiting locals. When Charmian and I boarded, we found it packed. The crew, including substitutes, totaled fifteen, and there were more than twenty "return" boys who had completed their time on the plantations and were heading back to their village in the bush. They certainly looked like true head-hunting cannibals. Their pierced nostrils were adorned with bones and wooden sticks as thick as pencils. Many of them had punctured the fleshy tip of their noses, from which protruded spikes made of turtle shell or beads strung on stiff wire. A few had created rows of holes along the curves of their nostrils from lip to tip. Each man had anywhere from two to a dozen holes in each ear—some big enough for wooden plugs three inches wide, while others were tiny, holding clay pipes and similar items. In fact, they had so many holes that they didn't have enough ornaments to fill them; and when, the next day as we approached Malaita, we tested our rifles to ensure they were working, there was a mad rush for the empty cartridges, which were quickly shoved into the many empty spaces in our passengers’ ears.

At the time we tried out our rifles we put up our barbed wire railings. The Minota, crown-decked, without any house, and with a rail six inches high, was too accessible to boarders. So brass stanchions were screwed into the rail and a double row of barbed wire stretched around her from stem to stern and back again. Which was all very well as a protection from savages, but it was mighty uncomfortable to those on board when the Minota took to jumping and plunging in a sea-way. When one dislikes sliding down upon the lee-rail barbed wire, and when he dares not catch hold of the weather-rail barbed wire to save himself from sliding, and when, with these various disinclinations, he finds himself on a smooth flush-deck that is heeled over at an angle of forty-five degrees, some of the delights of Solomon Islands cruising may be comprehended. Also, it must be remembered, the penalty of a fall into the barbed wire is more than the mere scratches, for each scratch is practically certain to become a venomous ulcer. That caution will not save one from the wire was evidenced one fine morning when we were running along the Malaita coast with the breeze on our quarter. The wind was fresh, and a tidy sea was making. A black boy was at the wheel. Captain Jansen, Mr. Jacobsen (the mate), Charmian, and I had just sat down on deck to breakfast. Three unusually large seas caught us. The boy at the wheel lost his head. Three times the Minota was swept. The breakfast was rushed over the lee-rail. The knives and forks went through the scuppers; a boy aft went clean overboard and was dragged back; and our doughty skipper lay half inboard and half out, jammed in the barbed wire. After that, for the rest of the cruise, our joint use of the several remaining eating utensils was a splendid example of primitive communism. On the Eugenie, however, it was even worse, for we had but one teaspoon among four of us—but the Eugenie is another story.

When we tested our rifles, we set up our barbed wire railings. The Minota, with its crown deck and no cabin, had a rail that was only six inches high, making it too easy for boarders to access. So, we screwed in brass stanchions to the rail and stretched a double row of barbed wire from front to back. This worked well for keeping savages away, but it made life really uncomfortable for those on board when the Minota started jumping and bouncing in the waves. If you didn’t want to slide down onto the lee-rail barbed wire and couldn’t grab onto the weather-rail barbed wire to keep yourself from sliding, you really felt the joys of cruising the Solomon Islands when the deck tilted at a forty-five-degree angle. Additionally, it’s important to remember that falling into barbed wire brings more than just scratches; each scratch is highly likely to turn into a nasty ulcer. One beautiful morning, while we were cruising along the Malaita coast with the wind behind us, we experienced this firsthand. The wind was strong, and the sea was choppy. A black boy was steering the boat. Captain Jansen, Mr. Jacobsen (the mate), Charmian, and I had just sat down for breakfast on deck. Three particularly large waves hit us. The boy at the wheel panicked. The Minota was swept three times. Breakfast flew over the lee-rail, our knives and forks tumbled through the scuppers, a boy at the back went completely overboard and was pulled back, and our brave skipper got stuck half in and half out, wedged in the barbed wire. After that, for the rest of the trip, we shared the remaining eating utensils like a great example of primitive communism. On the Eugenie, though, it was even worse, as we had only one teaspoon for the four of us—but that’s another story.

Our first port was Su’u on the west coast of Malaita. The Solomon Islands are on the fringe of things. It is difficult enough sailing on dark nights through reef-spiked channels and across erratic currents where there are no lights to guide (from northwest to southeast the Solomons extend across a thousand miles of sea, and on all the thousands of miles of coasts there is not one lighthouse); but the difficulty is seriously enhanced by the fact that the land itself is not correctly charted. Su’u is an example. On the Admiralty chart of Malaita the coast at this point runs a straight, unbroken line. Yet across this straight, unbroken line the Minota sailed in twenty fathoms of water. Where the land was alleged to be, was a deep indentation. Into this we sailed, the mangroves closing about us, till we dropped anchor in a mirrored pond. Captain Jansen did not like the anchorage. It was the first time he had been there, and Su’u had a bad reputation. There was no wind with which to get away in case of attack, while the crew could be bushwhacked to a man if they attempted to tow out in the whale-boat. It was a pretty trap, if trouble blew up.

Our first stop was Su’u on the west coast of Malaita. The Solomon Islands are out in the middle of nowhere. It’s tough enough sailing at night through channels full of reefs and unpredictable currents with no lights to help (from northwest to southeast, the Solomons stretch across a thousand miles of ocean, and along all those miles of coast, there isn’t a single lighthouse); but it gets even harder because the land itself isn’t accurately mapped. Su’u is a perfect example. On the Admiralty chart of Malaita, the coast at this point looks like a straight, unbroken line. Yet, the Minota sailed in twenty fathoms of water, right across this straight line. Where the land was supposed to be, there was a deep indentation. We sailed into this, with the mangroves closing in around us, until we dropped anchor in a calm lagoon. Captain Jansen wasn’t a fan of the anchorage. It was his first time there, and Su’u had a bad reputation. There was no wind to help us escape if we were attacked, and the crew could easily be ambushed if they tried to row out in the whale-boat. It was a perfect trap if trouble arose.

“Suppose the Minota went ashore—what would you do?” I asked.

“Imagine the Minota landed—what would you do?” I asked.

“She’s not going ashore,” was Captain Jansen’s answer.

“She’s not going ashore,” Captain Jansen replied.

“But just in case she did?” I insisted. He considered for a moment and shifted his glance from the mate buckling on a revolver to the boat’s crew climbing into the whale-boat each man with a rifle.

“But what if she did?” I pushed. He thought for a moment and turned his gaze from the crewmate fastening a revolver to the crew of the boat getting into the whaleboat, each man carrying a rifle.

“We’d get into the whale-boat, and get out of here as fast as God’d let us,” came the skipper’s delayed reply.

“We’d hop into the whale boat and get out of here as quickly as possible,” the skipper finally replied.

He explained at length that no white man was sure of his Malaita crew in a tight place; that the bushmen looked upon all wrecks as their personal property; that the bushmen possessed plenty of Snider rifles; and that he had on board a dozen “return” boys for Su’u who were certain to join in with their friends and relatives ashore when it came to looting the Minota.

He went into great detail explaining that no white man could rely on his Malaita crew in a difficult situation; that the bushmen considered all shipwrecks as their own; that the bushmen had plenty of Snider rifles; and that he had a dozen “return” boys for Su’u on board who would definitely team up with their friends and family on land when it came to looting the Minota.

The first work of the whale-boat was to take the “return” boys and their trade-boxes ashore. Thus one danger was removed. While this was being done, a canoe came alongside manned by three naked savages. And when I say naked, I mean naked. Not one vestige of clothing did they have on, unless nose-rings, ear-plugs, and shell armlets be accounted clothing. The head man in the canoe was an old chief, one-eyed, reputed to be friendly, and so dirty that a boat-scraper would have lost its edge on him. His mission was to warn the skipper against allowing any of his people to go ashore. The old fellow repeated the warning again that night.

The first task of the whale boat was to take the “return” boys and their trade boxes to shore. This got rid of one danger. While this was happening, a canoe pulled up with three naked natives. And when I say naked, I mean fully naked. They had no clothing on, unless you consider nose rings, ear plugs, and shell bracelets as clothing. The leader of the canoe was an old chief, one-eyed, known to be friendly, and so dirty that a boat scraper would have lost its edge on him. His purpose was to warn the captain not to let any of his crew go ashore. The old guy repeated the warning again that night.

In vain did the whale-boat ply about the shores of the bay in quest of recruits. The bush was full of armed natives; all willing enough to talk with the recruiter, but not one would engage to sign on for three years’ plantation labour at six pounds per year. Yet they were anxious enough to get our people ashore. On the second day they raised a smoke on the beach at the head of the bay. This being the customary signal of men desiring to recruit, the boat was sent. But nothing resulted. No one recruited, nor were any of our men lured ashore. A little later we caught glimpses of a number of armed natives moving about on the beach.

In vain did the whale boat cruise around the shores of the bay searching for recruits. The bush was full of armed locals; all eager to chat with the recruiter, but not one was willing to commit to three years of plantation work for six pounds a year. Still, they were quite keen on getting our people ashore. On the second day, they lit a smoke signal on the beach at the head of the bay. Since this was the usual signal for recruiting, the boat was sent out. But nothing came of it. No one was recruited, nor did any of our men get tricked ashore. Shortly after, we spotted several armed locals moving around on the beach.

Outside of these rare glimpses, there was no telling how many might be lurking in the bush. There was no penetrating that primeval jungle with the eye. In the afternoon, Captain Jansen, Charmian, and I went dynamiting fish. Each one of the boat’s crew carried a Lee-Enfield. “Johnny,” the native recruiter, had a Winchester beside him at the steering sweep. We rowed in close to a portion of the shore that looked deserted. Here the boat was turned around and backed in; in case of attack, the boat would be ready to dash away. In all the time I was on Malaita I never saw a boat land bow on. In fact, the recruiting vessels use two boats—one to go in on the beach, armed, of course, and the other to lie off several hundred feet and “cover” the first boat. The Minota, however, being a small vessel, did not carry a covering boat.

Outside of these rare glimpses, it was impossible to know how many might be hiding in the bushes. You couldn’t see through that ancient jungle with just your eyes. In the afternoon, Captain Jansen, Charmian, and I went fishing with dynamite. Each member of the boat's crew had a Lee-Enfield. “Johnny,” the local recruiter, had a Winchester next to him at the steering wheel. We rowed close to a part of the shore that looked abandoned. Here, the boat was turned around and backed in; in case of an attack, the boat would be ready to speed away. During my entire time on Malaita, I never saw a boat land bow-first. In fact, the recruiting ships use two boats—one to go onto the beach, armed, of course, and the other to stay a few hundred feet away and provide “cover” for the first boat. The Minota, however, being a small vessel, did not have a covering boat.

We were close in to the shore and working in closer, stern-first, when a school of fish was sighted. The fuse was ignited and the stick of dynamite thrown. With the explosion, the surface of the water was broken by the flash of leaping fish. At the same instant the woods broke into life. A score of naked savages, armed with bows and arrows, spears, and Sniders, burst out upon the shore. At the same moment our boat’s crew lifted their rifles. And thus the opposing parties faced each other, while our extra boys dived over after the stunned fish.

We were close to the shore and maneuvering even closer, backing in, when we spotted a school of fish. The fuse was lit and the stick of dynamite was thrown. With the explosion, the surface of the water erupted in a flash of leaping fish. At the same moment, the woods came alive. A group of naked warriors, armed with bows and arrows, spears, and rifles, burst onto the shore. At the same time, our crew raised their rifles. And so, the two sides faced each other, while our extra crew members dove in after the stunned fish.

Three fruitless days were spent at Su’u. The Minota got no recruits from the bush, and the bushmen got no heads from the Minota. In fact, the only one who got anything was Wada, and his was a nice dose of fever. We towed out with the whale-boat, and ran along the coast to Langa Langa, a large village of salt-water people, built with prodigious labour on a lagoon sand-bank—literally built up, an artificial island reared as a refuge from the blood-thirsty bushmen. Here, also, on the shore side of the lagoon, was Binu, the place where the Minota was captured half a year previously and her captain killed by the bushmen. As we sailed in through the narrow entrance, a canoe came alongside with the news that the man-of-war had just left that morning after having burned three villages, killed some thirty pigs, and drowned a baby. This was the Cambrian, Captain Lewes commanding. He and I had first met in Korea during the Japanese-Russian War, and we had been crossing each other’s trail ever since without ever a meeting. The day the Snark sailed into Suva, in the Fijis, we made out the Cambrian going out. At Vila, in the New Hebrides, we missed each other by one day. We passed each other in the night-time off the island of Santo. And the day the Cambrian arrived at Tulagi, we sailed from Penduffryn, a dozen miles away. And here at Langa Langa we had missed by several hours.

Three unproductive days were spent at Su’u. The Minota didn’t gain any recruits from the bush, and the bushmen didn’t capture any heads from the Minota. In fact, the only one who got anything was Wada, and he ended up with a nasty case of fever. We towed out with the whale-boat and traveled along the coast to Langa Langa, a large village of saltwater people, built with incredible effort on a lagoon sandbank—literally built up, an artificial island created as a refuge from the bloodthirsty bushmen. Here, on the lagoon’s shore, was Binu, the spot where the Minota had been captured six months earlier and her captain killed by the bushmen. As we sailed through the narrow entrance, a canoe approached with the news that the warship had just left that morning after burning three villages, killing about thirty pigs, and drowning a baby. This was the Cambrian, with Captain Lewes in command. He and I had first crossed paths in Korea during the Japanese-Russian War, and we had been on each other’s trail ever since without ever meeting. The day the Snark sailed into Suva in the Fijis, we noticed the Cambrian leaving. At Vila, in the New Hebrides, we missed each other by one day. We passed each other during the night off the island of Santo. And on the day the Cambrian arrived at Tulagi, we set sail from Penduffryn, just a dozen miles away. And here at Langa Langa, we had missed each other by just a few hours.

The Cambrian had come to punish the murderers of the Minota’s captain, but what she had succeeded in doing we did not learn until later in the day, when a Mr. Abbot, a missionary, came alongside in his whale-boat. The villages had been burned and the pigs killed. But the natives had escaped personal harm. The murderers had not been captured, though the Minota’s flag and other of her gear had been recovered. The drowning of the baby had come about through a misunderstanding. Chief Johnny, of Binu, had declined to guide the landing party into the bush, nor could any of his men be induced to perform that office. Whereupon Captain Lewes, righteously indignant, had told Chief Johnny that he deserved to have his village burned. Johnny’s bêche de mer English did not include the word “deserve.” So his understanding of it was that his village was to be burned anyway. The immediate stampede of the inhabitants was so hurried that the baby was dropped into the water. In the meantime Chief Johnny hastened to Mr. Abbot. Into his hand he put fourteen sovereigns and requested him to go on board the Cambrian and buy Captain Lewes off. Johnny’s village was not burned. Nor did Captain Lewes get the fourteen sovereigns, for I saw them later in Johnny’s possession when he boarded the Minota. The excuse Johnny gave me for not guiding the landing party was a big boil which he proudly revealed. His real reason, however, and a perfectly valid one, though he did not state it, was fear of revenge on the part of the bushmen. Had he, or any of his men, guided the marines, he could have looked for bloody reprisals as soon as the Cambrian weighed anchor.

The Cambrian had come to punish the murderers of the Minota’s captain, but we didn’t find out what actually happened until later in the day when Mr. Abbot, a missionary, arrived in his whale boat. The villages had been burned, and the pigs had been killed. However, the locals had escaped personal harm. The murderers hadn’t been captured, though the Minota’s flag and some of her gear were recovered. The baby’s drowning was a result of a misunderstanding. Chief Johnny of Binu refused to guide the landing party into the bush, and none of his men were willing to do it either. Captain Lewes, feeling justifiably angry, told Chief Johnny that he deserved to have his village burned. Johnny’s limited English didn’t include the word “deserve,” so he misunderstood it to mean his village would be burned regardless. The locals fled so quickly that a baby fell into the water. Meanwhile, Chief Johnny hurried to Mr. Abbot, handing him fourteen sovereigns and asking him to go on board the Cambrian to buy off Captain Lewes. Johnny’s village was not burned, and Captain Lewes didn’t get the fourteen sovereigns, as I later saw them in Johnny’s possession when he boarded the Minota. Johnny explained that he couldn’t guide the landing party because of a big boil he proudly showed me. His real reason, which he didn’t say, was fear of revenge from the bushmen. Had he or any of his men led the marines, they could have expected bloody retribution as soon as the Cambrian set sail.

As an illustration of conditions in the Solomons, Johnny’s business on board was to turn over, for a tobacco consideration, the sprit, mainsail, and jib of a whale-boat. Later in the day, a Chief Billy came on board and turned over, for a tobacco consideration, the mast and boom. This gear belonged to a whale-boat which Captain Jansen had recovered the previous trip of the Minota. The whale-boat belonged to Meringe Plantation on the island of Ysabel. Eleven contract labourers, Malaita men and bushmen at that, had decided to run away. Being bushmen, they knew nothing of salt water nor of the way of a boat in the sea. So they persuaded two natives of San Cristoval, salt-water men, to run away with them. It served the San Cristoval men right. They should have known better. When they had safely navigated the stolen boat to Malaita, they had their heads hacked off for their pains. It was this boat and gear that Captain Jansen had recovered.

As an example of the situation in the Solomons, Johnny’s job on board was to exchange the sprit, mainsail, and jib of a whale-boat for some tobacco. Later that day, Chief Billy came on board and traded the mast and boom for tobacco as well. This equipment belonged to a whale-boat that Captain Jansen had retrieved on the last trip of the Minota. The whale-boat was owned by the Meringe Plantation on the island of Ysabel. Eleven contract laborers, men from Malaita and bushmen, had decided to escape. Being bushmen, they were unfamiliar with saltwater and how a boat worked at sea. So they convinced two local fishermen from San Cristoval to run away with them. The San Cristoval men got what they deserved; they should have known better. After successfully sailing the stolen boat to Malaita, they ended up losing their heads for their trouble. It was this boat and gear that Captain Jansen had recovered.

Not for nothing have I journeyed all the way to the Solomons. At last I have seen Charmian’s proud spirit humbled and her imperious queendom of femininity dragged in the dust. It happened at Langa Langa, ashore, on the manufactured island which one cannot see for the houses. Here, surrounded by hundreds of unblushing naked men, women, and children, we wandered about and saw the sights. We had our revolvers strapped on, and the boat’s crew, fully armed, lay at the oars, stern in; but the lesson of the man-of-war was too recent for us to apprehend trouble. We walked about everywhere and saw everything until at last we approached a large tree trunk that served as a bridge across a shallow estuary. The blacks formed a wall in front of us and refused to let us pass. We wanted to know why we were stopped. The blacks said we could go on. We misunderstood, and started. Explanations became more definite. Captain Jansen and I, being men, could go on. But no Mary was allowed to wade around that bridge, much less cross it. “Mary” is bêche de mer for woman. Charmian was a Mary. To her the bridge was tambo, which is the native for taboo. Ah, how my chest expanded! At last my manhood was vindicated. In truth I belonged to the lordly sex. Charmian could trapse along at our heels, but we were MEN, and we could go right over that bridge while she would have to go around by whale-boat.

Not for nothing have I traveled all the way to the Solomons. Finally, I've seen Charmian’s proud spirit humbled and her dominating world of femininity brought low. This happened at Langa Langa, on the shore, on the manmade island which is hidden by houses. Here, surrounded by hundreds of unabashed naked men, women, and children, we explored and checked out the sights. We had our guns strapped on, and the boat’s crew, fully armed, sat at the oars, stern in; but the lesson from the warship was too fresh for us to anticipate any trouble. We walked around everywhere and saw everything until we finally came to a large tree trunk serving as a bridge across a shallow estuary. The locals formed a barrier in front of us and wouldn’t let us pass. We asked why we were being stopped. The locals said we could go on. We misunderstood and started to move. Explanations got clearer. Captain Jansen and I, being men, could pass. But no Mary was allowed to wade around that bridge, let alone cross it. “Mary” is the term for woman in bêche de mer. Charmian was a Mary. To her, the bridge was tambo, the native term for taboo. Ah, how proud I felt! At last, my manhood was validated. In truth, I belonged to the superior sex. Charmian could follow behind us, but we were MEN, and we could cross that bridge while she would have to go around by whale-boat.

Now I should not care to be misunderstood by what follows; but it is a matter of common knowledge in the Solomons that attacks of fever are often brought on by shock. Inside half an hour after Charmian had been refused the right of way, she was being rushed aboard the Minota, packed in blankets, and dosed with quinine. I don’t know what kind of shock had happened to Wada and Nakata, but at any rate they were down with fever as well. The Solomons might be healthfuller.

Now, I don’t mind if I’m misunderstood by what comes next; but it’s common knowledge in the Solomons that shock can often trigger fever. Less than thirty minutes after Charmian was denied the right of way, she was being hurried onto the Minota, bundled in blankets, and given quinine. I don't know what kind of shock Wada and Nakata experienced, but they also ended up with fever, too. The Solomons might be healthier.

Also, during the attack of fever, Charmian developed a Solomon sore. It was the last straw. Every one on the Snark had been afflicted except her. I had thought that I was going to lose my foot at the ankle by one exceptionally malignant boring ulcer. Henry and Tehei, the Tahitian sailors, had had numbers of them. Wada had been able to count his by the score. Nakata had had single ones three inches in length. Martin had been quite certain that necrosis of his shinbone had set in from the roots of the amazing colony he elected to cultivate in that locality. But Charmian had escaped. Out of her long immunity had been bred contempt for the rest of us. Her ego was flattered to such an extent that one day she shyly informed me that it was all a matter of pureness of blood. Since all the rest of us cultivated the sores, and since she did not—well, anyway, hers was the size of a silver dollar, and the pureness of her blood enabled her to cure it after several weeks of strenuous nursing. She pins her faith to corrosive sublimate. Martin swears by iodoform. Henry uses lime-juice undiluted. And I believe that when corrosive sublimate is slow in taking hold, alternate dressings of peroxide of hydrogen are just the thing. There are white men in the Solomons who stake all upon boracic acid, and others who are prejudiced in favour of lysol. I also have the weakness of a panacea. It is California. I defy any man to get a Solomon Island sore in California.

Also, during the fever attack, Charmian developed a Solomon sore. That was the last straw. Everyone on the Snark had been affected except her. I thought I was going to lose my foot at the ankle due to an exceptionally nasty ulcer. Henry and Tehei, the Tahitian sailors, had several of them. Wada had counted his by the dozens. Nakata had single ones that were three inches long. Martin was pretty sure necrosis of his shinbone had started from the roots of the amazing colony he chose to grow in that area. But Charmian had escaped. Her long immunity bred contempt for the rest of us. Her ego was so flattered that one day she shyly told me it was all about the purity of her blood. Since the rest of us had sores and she didn't—well, anyway, hers was the size of a silver dollar, and her pure blood allowed her to heal it after several weeks of intense care. She relies on corrosive sublimate. Martin swears by iodoform. Henry uses undiluted lime juice. And I believe that when corrosive sublimate is slow to take effect, alternating dressings of hydrogen peroxide do the trick. There are white men in the Solomons who bet everything on boracic acid, and others who prefer lysol. I also have a weakness for a miracle cure. It's California. I dare anyone to get a Solomon Island sore in California.

We ran down the lagoon from Langa Langa, between mangrove swamps, through passages scarcely wider than the Minota, and past the reef villages of Kaloka and Auki. Like the founders of Venice, these salt-water men were originally refugees from the mainland. Too weak to hold their own in the bush, survivors of village massacres, they fled to the sand-banks of the lagoon. These sand-banks they built up into islands. They were compelled to seek their provender from the sea, and in time they became salt-water men. They learned the ways of the fish and the shellfish, and they invented hooks and lines, nets and fish-traps. They developed canoe-bodies. Unable to walk about, spending all their time in the canoes, they became thick-armed and broad-shouldered, with narrow waists and frail spindly legs. Controlling the sea-coast, they became wealthy, trade with the interior passing largely through their hands. But perpetual enmity exists between them and the bushmen. Practically their only truces are on market-days, which occur at stated intervals, usually twice a week. The bushwomen and the salt-water women do the bartering. Back in the bush, a hundred yards away, fully armed, lurk the bushmen, while to seaward, in the canoes, are the salt-water men. There are very rare instances of the market-day truces being broken. The bushmen like their fish too well, while the salt-water men have an organic craving for the vegetables they cannot grow on their crowded islets.

We raced down the lagoon from Langa Langa, between mangrove swamps, through passages barely wider than the Minota, and past the reef villages of Kaloka and Auki. Like the founders of Venice, these salt-water people were originally refugees from the mainland. Too weak to survive in the bush, they were survivors of village massacres who fled to the sandbanks of the lagoon. They built these sandbanks into islands. They had to find their food in the sea, and over time, they became salt-water people. They learned how to fish and gather shellfish, and they created hooks and lines, nets, and fish traps. They developed canoe bodies. Unable to walk much, spending all their time in canoes, they grew thick-armed and broad-shouldered, with narrow waists and slender legs. By controlling the coastline, they became wealthy, with trade from the interior largely passing through them. However, there has always been hostility between them and the bushmen. Their only truces happen on market days, which occur at regular intervals, usually twice a week. The bushwomen and the salt-water women do the trading. Back in the bush, a hundred yards away, the bushmen lurk fully armed, while the salt-water men wait in their canoes. Breaks in the market-day truces are very rare. The bushmen love their fish too much, while the salt-water men have a strong desire for the vegetables they can’t grow on their crowded islands.

Thirty miles from Langa Langa brought us to the passage between Bassakanna Island and the mainland. Here, at nightfall, the wind left us, and all night, with the whale-boat towing ahead and the crew on board sweating at the sweeps, we strove to win through. But the tide was against us. At midnight, midway in the passage, we came up with the Eugenie, a big recruiting schooner, towing with two whale-boats. Her skipper, Captain Keller, a sturdy young German of twenty-two, came on board for a “gam,” and the latest news of Malaita was swapped back and forth. He had been in luck, having gathered in twenty recruits at the village of Fiu. While lying there, one of the customary courageous killings had taken place. The murdered boy was what is called a salt-water bushman—that is, a salt-water man who is half bushman and who lives by the sea but does not live on an islet. Three bushmen came down to this man where he was working in his garden. They behaved in friendly fashion, and after a time suggested kai-kai. Kai-kai means food. He built a fire and started to boil some taro. While bending over the pot, one of the bushmen shot him through the head. He fell into the flames, whereupon they thrust a spear through his stomach, turned it around, and broke it off.

Thirty miles from Langa Langa brought us to the passage between Bassakanna Island and the mainland. Here, as night fell, the wind dropped, and all night, with the whale-boat towing ahead and the crew on board sweating at the oars, we struggled to make it through. But the tide was against us. At midnight, halfway through the passage, we came across the Eugenie, a large recruiting schooner, which was towing two whale-boats. Her captain, Captain Keller, a sturdy young German of twenty-two, came on board for a talk, and we exchanged the latest news about Malaita. He had been lucky, gathering twenty recruits at the village of Fiu. While we were there, one of the usual brutal killings had occurred. The victim was what you’d call a salt-water bushman—that is, a salt-water man who is half bushman and lives by the sea but doesn’t live on an islet. Three bushmen approached this man while he was working in his garden. They acted friendly and after a while suggested kai-kai. Kai-kai means food. He built a fire and started to boil some taro. While he was bending over the pot, one of the bushmen shot him in the head. He fell into the flames, at which point they stabbed him in the stomach with a spear, twisted it around, and broke it off.

“My word,” said Captain Keller, “I don’t want ever to be shot with a Snider. Spread! You could drive a horse and carriage through that hole in his head.”

“My word,” said Captain Keller, “I never want to get shot with a Snider. Spread! You could fit a horse and carriage through that hole in his head.”

Another recent courageous killing I heard of on Malaita was that of an old man. A bush chief had died a natural death. Now the bushmen don’t believe in natural deaths. No one was ever known to die a natural death. The only way to die is by bullet, tomahawk, or spear thrust. When a man dies in any other way, it is a clear case of having been charmed to death. When the bush chief died naturally, his tribe placed the guilt on a certain family. Since it did not matter which one of the family was killed, they selected this old man who lived by himself. This would make it easy. Furthermore, he possessed no Snider. Also, he was blind. The old fellow got an inkling of what was coming and laid in a large supply of arrows. Three brave warriors, each with a Snider, came down upon him in the night time. All night they fought valiantly with him. Whenever they moved in the bush and made a noise or a rustle, he discharged an arrow in that direction. In the morning, when his last arrow was gone, the three heroes crept up to him and blew his brains out.

Another recent act of courage I heard about on Malaita was the killing of an old man. A local chief had died of natural causes. Now, the bushmen don’t believe in natural deaths. No one is ever known to die a natural death. The only ways to die are by bullet, tomahawk, or spear thrust. When a man dies any other way, it’s clearly a case of being charmed to death. When the chief died naturally, his tribe blamed a particular family. Since it didn’t matter which member of that family was killed, they chose this old man who lived alone. This made it easier. Besides, he didn’t have a Snider. Also, he was blind. The old man sensed something was coming and stocked up on arrows. Three brave warriors, each with a Snider, came at him during the night. They fought bravely with him all night. Whenever they moved in the bushes and made any noise, he fired an arrow in their direction. In the morning, when he had shot his last arrow, the three heroes crept up to him and shot him in the head.

Morning found us still vainly toiling through the passage. At last, in despair, we turned tail, ran out to sea, and sailed clear round Bassakanna to our objective, Malu. The anchorage at Malu was very good, but it lay between the shore and an ugly reef, and while easy to enter, it was difficult to leave. The direction of the southeast trade necessitated a beat to windward; the point of the reef was widespread and shallow; while a current bore down at all times upon the point.

Morning found us still struggling through the passage. Finally, in frustration, we turned around, headed out to sea, and sailed all the way around Bassakanna to our destination, Malu. The anchorage at Malu was quite good, but it was situated between the shore and an ugly reef; while it was easy to enter, it was hard to leave. The southeast trade winds required us to sail against the wind; the point of the reef was broad and shallow, and a current was constantly pushing down on the point.

Mr. Caulfeild, the missionary at Malu, arrived in his whale-boat from a trip down the coast. A slender, delicate man he was, enthusiastic in his work, level-headed and practical, a true twentieth-century soldier of the Lord. When he came down to this station on Malaita, as he said, he agreed to come for six months. He further agreed that if he were alive at the end of that time, he would continue on. Six years had passed and he was still continuing on. Nevertheless he was justified in his doubt as to living longer than six months. Three missionaries had preceded him on Malaita, and in less than that time two had died of fever and the third had gone home a wreck.

Mr. Caulfeild, the missionary at Malu, arrived in his whale boat from a trip down the coast. He was a slender, delicate man, enthusiastic about his work, practical, and level-headed—a true soldier of the Lord in the twentieth century. When he came to the Malaita station, he agreed to stay for six months. He also agreed that if he was still alive at the end of that time, he would continue on. Six years had passed, and he was still there. Still, he had every reason to doubt he would live longer than six months. Three missionaries had come before him to Malaita, and in less time than that, two had died from fever, and the third had gone home in ruins.

“What murder are you talking about?” he asked suddenly, in the midst of a confused conversation with Captain Jansen.

“What murder are you talking about?” he asked suddenly, in the middle of a confusing conversation with Captain Jansen.

Captain Jansen explained.

Captain Jansen explained.

“Oh, that’s not the one I have reference to,” quoth Mr. Caulfeild. “That’s old already. It happened two weeks ago.”

“Oh, that’s not the one I’m talking about,” Mr. Caulfeild said. “That’s old news. It happened two weeks ago.”

It was here at Malu that I atoned for all the exulting and gloating I had been guilty of over the Solomon sore Charmian had collected at Langa Langa. Mr. Caulfeild was indirectly responsible for my atonement. He presented us with a chicken, which I pursued into the bush with a rifle. My intention was to clip off its head. I succeeded, but in doing so fell over a log and barked my shin. Result: three Solomon sores. This made five all together that were adorning my person. Also, Captain Jansen and Nakata had caught gari-gari. Literally translated, gari-gari is scratch-scratch. But translation was not necessary for the rest of us. The skipper’s and Nakata’s gymnastics served as a translation without words.

It was here at Malu that I made up for all the bragging and triumph I had done over the Solomon sores that Charmian had collected at Langa Langa. Mr. Caulfeild was indirectly responsible for my redemption. He gave us a chicken, which I chased into the bush with a rifle. My goal was to chop off its head. I did succeed, but in the process, I tripped over a log and scraped my shin. Result: three Solomon sores. This made a total of five that I had on me. Also, Captain Jansen and Nakata had caught gari-gari. Literally, gari-gari means scratch-scratch. But we didn’t need a translation for the rest of us. The skipper’s and Nakata’s antics spoke for themselves.

(No, the Solomon Islands are not as healthy as they might be. I am writing this article on the island of Ysabel, where we have taken the Snark to careen and clean her cooper. I got over my last attack of fever this morning, and I have had only one free day between attacks. Charmian’s are two weeks apart. Wada is a wreck from fever. Last night he showed all the symptoms of coming down with pneumonia. Henry, a strapping giant of a Tahitian, just up from his last dose of fever, is dragging around the deck like a last year’s crab-apple. Both he and Tehei have accumulated a praiseworthy display of Solomon sores. Also, they have caught a new form of gari-gari, a sort of vegetable poisoning like poison oak or poison ivy. But they are not unique in this. A number of days ago Charmian, Martin, and I went pigeon-shooting on a small island, and we have had a foretaste of eternal torment ever since. Also, on that small island, Martin cut the soles of his feet to ribbons on the coral whilst chasing a shark—at least, so he says, but from the glimpse I caught of him I thought it was the other way about. The coral-cuts have all become Solomon sores. Before my last fever I knocked the skin off my knuckles while heaving on a line, and I now have three fresh sores. And poor Nakata! For three weeks he has been unable to sit down. He sat down yesterday for the first time, and managed to stay down for fifteen minutes. He says cheerfully that he expects to be cured of his gari-gari in another month. Furthermore, his gari-gari, from too enthusiastic scratch-scratching, has furnished footholds for countless Solomon sores. Still furthermore, he has just come down with his seventh attack of fever. If I were king, the worst punishment I could inflict on my enemies would be to banish them to the Solomons. On second thought, king or no king, I don’t think I’d have the heart to do it.)

(No, the Solomon Islands aren't as healthy as they could be. I'm writing this article on Ysabel Island, where we've taken the Snark to careen and clean her copper. I recovered from my last fever attack this morning, and I've only had one free day between attacks. Charmian's attacks are two weeks apart. Wada is a mess from his fever. Last night, he showed all the signs of getting pneumonia. Henry, a strong Tahitian who just recovered from his last fever, is dragging himself around the deck like a leftover crab-apple. Both he and Tehei have a commendable collection of Solomon sores. They've also caught a new form of gari-gari, a type of vegetable poisoning similar to poison oak or poison ivy. But they aren’t alone in this. A few days ago, Charmian, Martin, and I went pigeon-shooting on a small island, and we've been suffering ever since. Additionally, on that island, Martin sliced the soles of his feet on the coral while chasing a shark—at least that's what he claims, but from the glimpse I got of him, I thought it was the other way around. The coral cuts have turned into Solomon sores. Before my last fever, I scraped the skin off my knuckles while pulling on a line, and now I have three new sores. And poor Nakata! For three weeks, he hasn't been able to sit down. He finally sat down yesterday for the first time and managed to stay down for fifteen minutes. He cheerfully says he expects to recover from his gari-gari in another month. Furthermore, his gari-gari, from too much enthusiastic scratching, has created perfect spots for countless Solomon sores. On top of that, he just came down with his seventh fever attack. If I were king, the worst punishment I could give my enemies would be to send them to the Solomons. On second thought, king or not, I don’t think I’d have the heart to do it.)

Recruiting plantation labourers on a small, narrow yacht, built for harbour sailing, is not any too nice. The decks swarm with recruits and their families. The main cabin is packed with them. At night they sleep there. The only entrance to our tiny cabin is through the main cabin, and we jam our way through them or walk over them. Nor is this nice. One and all, they are afflicted with every form of malignant skin disease. Some have ringworm, others have bukua. This latter is caused by a vegetable parasite that invades the skin and eats it away. The itching is intolerable. The afflicted ones scratch until the air is filled with fine dry flakes. Then there are yaws and many other skin ulcerations. Men come aboard with Solomon sores in their feet so large that they can walk only on their toes, or with holes in their legs so terrible that a fist could be thrust in to the bone. Blood-poisoning is very frequent, and Captain Jansen, with sheath-knife and sail needle, operates lavishly on one and all. No matter how desperate the situation, after opening and cleansing, he claps on a poultice of sea-biscuit soaked in water. Whenever we see a particularly horrible case, we retire to a corner and deluge our own sores with corrosive sublimate. And so we live and eat and sleep on the Minota, taking our chance and “pretending it is good.”

Recruiting plantation workers on a small, narrow yacht meant for harbor sailing isn't pleasant at all. The decks are crowded with recruits and their families. The main cabin is packed with them, and they sleep there at night. The only way into our tiny cabin is through the main cabin, so we have to squeeze by or step over them. It’s not nice. Everyone suffers from various severe skin diseases. Some have ringworm, while others have bukua, which is caused by a plant parasite that invades and destroys the skin. The itching is unbearable, and those affected scratch until the air is filled with fine, dry flakes. Then there are yaws and many other skin ulcers. Men come on board with Solomon sores on their feet so large that they can only walk on their toes, or with gaping holes in their legs that are so severe a fist could fit down to the bone. Blood poisoning is very common, and Captain Jansen, with his sheath knife and sail needle, performs surgery on everyone. No matter how bad it is, after cutting and cleaning the wounds, he slaps on a poultice made of sea biscuit soaked in water. Whenever we see a particularly awful case, we retreat to a corner and douse our own sores with corrosive sublimate. And so we live, eat, and sleep on the Minota, taking our chances and “pretending it’s good.”

At Suava, another artificial island, I had a second crow over Charmian. A big fella marster belong Suava (which means the high chief of Suava) came on board. But first he sent an emissary to Captain Jansen for a fathom of calico with which to cover his royal nakedness. Meanwhile he lingered in the canoe alongside. The regal dirt on his chest I swear was half an inch thick, while it was a good wager that the underneath layers were anywhere from ten to twenty years of age. He sent his emissary on board again, who explained that the big fella marster belong Suava was condescendingly willing enough to shake hands with Captain Jansen and me and cadge a stick or so of trade tobacco, but that nevertheless his high-born soul was still at so lofty an altitude that it could not sink itself to such a depth of degradation as to shake hands with a mere female woman. Poor Charmian! Since her Malaita experiences she has become a changed woman. Her meekness and humbleness are appallingly becoming, and I should not be surprised, when we return to civilization and stroll along a sidewalk, to see her take her station, with bowed head, a yard in the rear.

At Suava, another artificial island, I had a second encounter with Charmian. A big chief from Suava (which means the high chief of Suava) came on board. But first, he sent someone to Captain Jansen asking for a length of calico to cover his royal nakedness. Meanwhile, he lingered in the canoe alongside. The dirt on his chest was at least half an inch thick, and it was a good bet that the layers beneath it were anywhere from ten to twenty years old. He sent his emissary on board again, who explained that the big chief from Suava was willing to shake hands with Captain Jansen and me and casually ask for a stick or two of trade tobacco, but that his high-born spirit was still so elevated that it couldn't lower itself to the level of shaking hands with a mere woman. Poor Charmian! Since her experiences in Malaita, she has changed dramatically. Her meekness and humility are striking, and I wouldn't be surprised, when we return to civilization and walk along a sidewalk, to see her take her place, with her head down, a yard behind.

Nothing much happened at Suava. Bichu, the native cook, deserted. The Minota dragged anchor. It blew heavy squalls of wind and rain. The mate, Mr. Jacobsen, and Wada were prostrated with fever. Our Solomon sores increased and multiplied. And the cockroaches on board held a combined Fourth of July and Coronation Parade. They selected midnight for the time, and our tiny cabin for the place. They were from two to three inches long; there were hundreds of them, and they walked all over us. When we attempted to pursue them, they left solid footing, rose up in the air, and fluttered about like humming-birds. They were much larger than ours on the Snark. But ours are young yet, and haven’t had a chance to grow. Also, the Snark has centipedes, big ones, six inches long. We kill them occasionally, usually in Charmian’s bunk. I’ve been bitten twice by them, both times foully, while I was asleep. But poor Martin had worse luck. After being sick in bed for three weeks, the first day he sat up he sat down on one. Sometimes I think they are the wisest who never go to Carcassonne.

Nothing much happened at Suava. Bichu, the local cook, left us. The Minota dragged its anchor. It was hit by heavy gusts of wind and rain. The mate, Mr. Jacobsen, and Wada were both down with fever. Our Solomon sores got worse and multiplied. The cockroaches on board threw a combined Fourth of July and Coronation Parade. They picked midnight as the time and our cramped cabin as the place. They were between two to three inches long; there were hundreds of them, crawling all over us. When we tried to chase them, they would lift off the ground, hover in the air, and flutter around like hummingbirds. They were way bigger than the ones we had on the Snark. But ours are still young and haven’t had time to grow. Plus, the Snark has centipedes—big ones, six inches long. We sometimes kill them, usually in Charmian’s bunk. I've been bitten by them twice while I was asleep, both times really badly. But poor Martin had worse luck. After being sick in bed for three weeks, on the first day he finally sat up, he sat right on one. Sometimes I think those who never go to Carcassonne are the smartest.

Later on we returned to Malu, picked up seven recruits, hove up anchor, and started to beat out the treacherous entrance. The wind was chopping about, the current upon the ugly point of reef setting strong. Just as we were on the verge of clearing it and gaining open sea, the wind broke off four points. The Minota attempted to go about, but missed stays. Two of her anchors had been lost at Tulagi. Her one remaining anchor was let go. Chain was let out to give it a hold on the coral. Her fin keel struck bottom, and her main topmast lurched and shivered as if about to come down upon our heads. She fetched up on the slack of the anchors at the moment a big comber smashed her shoreward. The chain parted. It was our only anchor. The Minota swung around on her heel and drove headlong into the breakers.

Later, we went back to Malu, picked up seven new recruits, raised the anchor, and started to navigate the tricky entrance. The wind was unpredictable, and the current was strong against the dangerous reef. Just as we were about to clear it and reach open water, the wind suddenly shifted direction. The Minota tried to turn but couldn't catch the wind properly. She had lost two of her anchors at Tulagi, and with only one anchor left, it was dropped. We let out chain to secure it to the coral. Her fin keel hit the bottom, and her main topmast shook as if it was about to fall on us. She finally came to a stop on the slack of the anchors just as a large wave crashed towards her. The chain broke. That was our only anchor. The Minota spun around and plunged into the breaking waves.

Bedlam reigned. All the recruits below, bushmen and afraid of the sea, dashed panic-stricken on deck and got in everybody’s way. At the same time the boat’s crew made a rush for the rifles. They knew what going ashore on Malaita meant—one hand for the ship and the other hand to fight off the natives. What they held on with I don’t know, and they needed to hold on as the Minota lifted, rolled, and pounded on the coral. The bushmen clung in the rigging, too witless to watch out for the topmast. The whale-boat was run out with a tow-line endeavouring in a puny way to prevent the Minota from being flung farther in toward the reef, while Captain Jansen and the mate, the latter pallid and weak with fever, were resurrecting a scrap-anchor from out the ballast and rigging up a stock for it. Mr. Caulfeild, with his mission boys, arrived in his whale-boat to help.

Chaos erupted. All the recruits down below, bushmen who were scared of the sea, rushed onto the deck in a panic and got in everyone's way. At the same time, the boat's crew scrambled for the rifles. They understood what going ashore on Malaita meant—one hand for the ship and the other to defend against the locals. I don't know what they were holding onto, but they needed a strong grip as the Minota lifted, rolled, and slammed against the coral. The bushmen clung to the rigging, too bewildered to notice the topmast. The whale-boat was lowered with a tow-line, trying feebly to stop the Minota from being pushed further toward the reef, while Captain Jansen and the mate, who looked pale and weak from fever, were pulling up a scrap-anchor from the ballast and setting it up. Mr. Caulfeild arrived in his whale-boat with his mission boys to assist.

When the Minota first struck, there was not a canoe in sight; but like vultures circling down out of the blue, canoes began to arrive from every quarter. The boat’s crew, with rifles at the ready, kept them lined up a hundred feet away with a promise of death if they ventured nearer. And there they clung, a hundred feet away, black and ominous, crowded with men, holding their canoes with their paddles on the perilous edge of the breaking surf. In the meantime the bushmen were flocking down from the hills armed with spears, Sniders, arrows, and clubs, until the beach was massed with them. To complicate matters, at least ten of our recruits had been enlisted from the very bushmen ashore who were waiting hungrily for the loot of the tobacco and trade goods and all that we had on board.

When the Minota first came under attack, there wasn't a canoe in sight; but like vultures swooping down from the blue sky, canoes started showing up from every direction. The crew, with rifles ready, kept them at bay a hundred feet away, threatening death if they got any closer. They hung back, a hundred feet away, dark and menacing, packed with men, their paddles poised on the dangerous edge of the crashing waves. Meanwhile, the bushmen were pouring down from the hills armed with spears, rifles, arrows, and clubs, until the beach was packed with them. To make matters worse, at least ten of our recruits had come from the very bushmen on the shore, who were eagerly waiting for the loot of the tobacco and trade goods we had on board.

The Minota was honestly built, which is the first essential for any boat that is pounding on a reef. Some idea of what she endured may be gained from the fact that in the first twenty-four hours she parted two anchor-chains and eight hawsers. Our boat’s crew was kept busy diving for the anchors and bending new lines. There were times when she parted the chains reinforced with hawsers. And yet she held together. Tree trunks were brought from ashore and worked under her to save her keel and bilges, but the trunks were gnawed and splintered and the ropes that held them frayed to fragments, and still she pounded and held together. But we were luckier than the Ivanhoe, a big recruiting schooner, which had gone ashore on Malaita several months previously and been promptly rushed by the natives. The captain and crew succeeded in getting away in the whale-boats, and the bushmen and salt-water men looted her clean of everything portable.

The Minota was built honestly, which is the first essential for any boat that’s hitting a reef hard. You can get an idea of what she went through from the fact that in the first twenty-four hours, she lost two anchor chains and eight hawsers. Our crew stayed busy diving for the anchors and tying new lines. There were times when she broke chains reinforced with hawsers. Yet somehow, she held together. Tree trunks were brought in from the shore and placed underneath her to protect her keel and bilges, but the trunks got chewed up and splintered, and the ropes that held them frayed to pieces, and still she kept pounding and stayed intact. But we were luckier than the Ivanhoe, a large recruiting schooner, which had run aground on Malaita several months earlier and was quickly attacked by the locals. The captain and crew managed to escape in the whale boats, while the bushmen and saltwater men looted her of everything they could carry.

Squall after squall, driving wind and blinding rain, smote the Minota, while a heavier sea was making. The Eugenie lay at anchor five miles to windward, but she was behind a point of land and could not know of our mishap. At Captain Jansen’s suggestion, I wrote a note to Captain Keller, asking him to bring extra anchors and gear to our aid. But not a canoe could be persuaded to carry the letter. I offered half a case of tobacco, but the blacks grinned and held their canoes bow-on to the breaking seas. A half a case of tobacco was worth three pounds. In two hours, even against the strong wind and sea, a man could have carried the letter and received in payment what he would have laboured half a year for on a plantation. I managed to get into a canoe and paddle out to where Mr. Caulfeild was running an anchor with his whale-boat. My idea was that he would have more influence over the natives. He called the canoes up to him, and a score of them clustered around and heard the offer of half a case of tobacco. No one spoke.

Squall after squall, fierce winds and blinding rain battered the Minota, while the waves grew stronger. The Eugenie was anchored five miles upwind, but she was sheltered by a point of land and couldn't be aware of our trouble. At Captain Jansen’s suggestion, I wrote a note to Captain Keller, asking him to bring extra anchors and gear to help us. But not a single canoe could be convinced to take the letter. I offered half a case of tobacco, but the locals just grinned and kept their canoes facing the breaking waves. A half case of tobacco was worth three pounds. In two hours, even against the strong wind and sea, a person could have delivered the letter and earned what they would have worked half a year for on a plantation. I managed to get into a canoe and paddle out to where Mr. Caulfeild was running an anchor with his whale boat. My plan was that he would have more sway over the locals. He called the canoes over, and a group of them gathered around to hear the offer of half a case of tobacco. No one said a word.

“I know what you think,” the missionary called out to them. “You think plenty tobacco on the schooner and you’re going to get it. I tell you plenty rifles on schooner. You no get tobacco, you get bullets.”

“I know what you’re thinking,” the missionary shouted to them. “You think there’s a lot of tobacco on the schooner, and you’re going to get it. I’m telling you, there are plenty of rifles on the schooner. You’re not getting tobacco; you’re getting bullets.”

At last, one man, alone in a small canoe, took the letter and started. Waiting for relief, work went on steadily on the Minota. Her water-tanks were emptied, and spars, sails, and ballast started shoreward. There were lively times on board when the Minota rolled one bilge down and then the other, a score of men leaping for life and legs as the trade-boxes, booms, and eighty-pound pigs of iron ballast rushed across from rail to rail and back again. The poor pretty harbour yacht! Her decks and running rigging were a raffle. Down below everything was disrupted. The cabin floor had been torn up to get at the ballast, and rusty bilge-water swashed and splashed. A bushel of limes, in a mess of flour and water, charged about like so many sticky dumplings escaped from a half-cooked stew. In the inner cabin, Nakata kept guard over our rifles and ammunition.

At last, one man, alone in a small canoe, took the letter and set off. While waiting for help, work continued steadily on the Minota. Her water tanks were emptied, and spars, sails, and ballast were sent to the shore. There were chaotic moments on board when the Minota rolled from one side to the other, with a dozen men jumping for their lives as trade boxes, booms, and eighty-pound iron ballast flew across from one rail to the other and back again. The poor beautiful harbor yacht! Her decks and rigging were a mess. Down below, everything was in disarray. The cabin floor had been ripped up to access the ballast, and rusty bilge water sloshed around. A bushel of limes, mixed with flour and water, tumbled around like sticky dumplings that had escaped from a half-cooked stew. In the inner cabin, Nakata kept watch over our rifles and ammunition.

Three hours from the time our messenger started, a whale-boat, pressing along under a huge spread of canvas, broke through the thick of a shrieking squall to windward. It was Captain Keller, wet with rain and spray, a revolver in belt, his boat’s crew fully armed, anchors and hawsers heaped high amidships, coming as fast as wind could drive—the white man, the inevitable white man, coming to a white man’s rescue.

Three hours after our messenger set off, a whale boat, racing along with a massive sail up, burst through the middle of a howling squall from the windward side. It was Captain Keller, drenched from rain and spray, a revolver at his hip, his crew fully armed, with anchors and ropes stacked high in the middle of the boat, rushing as fast as the wind could carry them—the white man, the unavoidable white man, coming to save another white man.

The vulture line of canoes that had waited so long broke and disappeared as quickly as it had formed. The corpse was not dead after all. We now had three whale-boats, two plying steadily between the vessel and shore, the other kept busy running out anchors, rebending parted hawsers, and recovering the lost anchors. Later in the afternoon, after a consultation, in which we took into consideration that a number of our boat’s crew, as well as ten of the recruits, belonged to this place, we disarmed the boat’s crew. This, incidently, gave them both hands free to work for the vessel. The rifles were put in the charge of five of Mr. Caulfeild’s mission boys. And down below in the wreck of the cabin the missionary and his converts prayed to God to save the Minota. It was an impressive scene! the unarmed man of God praying with cloudless faith, his savage followers leaning on their rifles and mumbling amens. The cabin walls reeled about them. The vessel lifted and smashed upon the coral with every sea. From on deck came the shouts of men heaving and toiling, praying, in another fashion, with purposeful will and strength of arm.

The line of canoes that had been waiting for so long broke apart and vanished as quickly as it had formed. The body wasn't dead after all. We now had three whale boats: two making steady trips between the ship and shore, while the other was busy running out anchors, re-bending damaged lines, and retrieving the lost anchors. Later in the afternoon, after a discussion that considered several crew members and ten of the recruits were from this area, we disarmed the crew. This, by the way, allowed them both hands free to work for the ship. The rifles were handed over to five of Mr. Caulfeild’s mission boys. Meanwhile, down in the wrecked cabin, the missionary and his followers prayed to God to save the Minota. It was a striking scene! The unarmed man of God prayed with unwavering faith, while his savage followers leaned on their rifles and quietly said amen. The cabin walls swayed around them. The ship lifted and crashed against the coral with each wave. From the deck, you could hear the shouts of men straining and working hard, praying in their own way, with focused determination and strength.

That night Mr. Caulfeild brought off a warning. One of our recruits had a price on his head of fifty fathoms of shell-money and forty pigs. Baffled in their desire to capture the vessel, the bushmen decided to get the head of the man. When killing begins, there is no telling where it will end, so Captain Jansen armed a whale-boat and rowed in to the edge of the beach. Ugi, one of his boat’s crew, stood up and orated for him. Ugi was excited. Captain Jansen’s warning that any canoe sighted that night would be pumped full of lead, Ugi turned into a bellicose declaration of war, which wound up with a peroration somewhat to the following effect: “You kill my captain, I drink his blood and die with him!”

That night, Mr. Caulfeild issued a warning. One of our recruits had a bounty on his head worth fifty fathoms of shell-money and forty pigs. Frustrated in their attempt to capture the vessel, the bushmen decided to take the man's life instead. Once killing starts, there's no telling where it will stop, so Captain Jansen armed a whale boat and paddled to the edge of the beach. Ugi, a member of his crew, stood up to deliver a speech for him. Ugi was fired up. Captain Jansen’s warning that any canoe seen that night would be filled with bullets turned into a fierce declaration of war by Ugi, which ended with a statement somewhat like this: “If you kill my captain, I’ll drink his blood and die with him!”

The bushmen contented themselves with burning an unoccupied mission house, and sneaked back to the bush. The next day the Eugenie sailed in and dropped anchor. Three days and two nights the Minota pounded on the reef; but she held together, and the shell of her was pulled off at last and anchored in smooth water. There we said good-bye to her and all on board, and sailed away on the Eugenie, bound for Florida Island. [268]

The bushmen settled for burning down an empty mission house and quietly returned to the bush. The next day, the Eugenie arrived and dropped anchor. For three days and two nights, the Minota crashed against the reef; but she held up, and eventually her shell was stripped off and anchored in calm waters. There we said our goodbyes to her and everyone on board, and sailed away on the Eugenie, heading to Florida Island. [268]

CHAPTER XVI
Sea cucumber English

Given a number of white traders, a wide area of land, and scores of savage languages and dialects, the result will be that the traders will manufacture a totally new, unscientific, but perfectly adequate, language. This the traders did when they invented the Chinook lingo for use over British Columbia, Alaska, and the Northwest Territory. So with the lingo of the Kroo-boys of Africa, the pigeon English of the Far East, and the bêche de mer of the westerly portion of the South Seas. This latter is often called pigeon English, but pigeon English it certainly is not. To show how totally different it is, mention need be made only of the fact that the classic piecee of China has no place in it.

Given a number of white traders, a large area of land, and many different indigenous languages and dialects, the outcome will be that the traders will create a completely new, unscientific, but perfectly functional language. This is what the traders did when they developed the Chinook lingo for use across British Columbia, Alaska, and the Northwest Territory. The same goes for the lingo of the Kroo-boys of Africa, the pidgin English of the Far East, and the bêche de mer of the western part of the South Seas. The latter is often referred to as pidgin English, but it definitely isn't. To illustrate how completely different it is, it’s enough to point out that the classic term piecee of China has no equivalent in it.

There was once a sea captain who needed a dusky potentate down in his cabin. The potentate was on deck. The captain’s command to the Chinese steward was “Hey, boy, you go top-side catchee one piecee king.” Had the steward been a New Hebridean or a Solomon islander, the command would have been: “Hey, you fella boy, go look ’m eye belong you along deck, bring ’m me fella one big fella marster belong black man.”

There was once a sea captain who needed a dark-skinned leader down in his cabin. The leader was on deck. The captain's command to the Chinese steward was, "Hey, boy, you go up top and get me one piece of king." If the steward had been from the New Hebrides or the Solomon Islands, the command would have been: "Hey, you guy, go check around on deck and bring me that big boss man."

It was the first white men who ventured through Melanesia after the early explorers, who developed bêche de mer English—men such as the bêche de mer fishermen, the sandalwood traders, the pearl hunters, and the labour recruiters. In the Solomons, for instance, scores of languages and dialects are spoken. Unhappy the trader who tried to learn them all; for in the next group to which he might wander he would find scores of additional tongues. A common language was necessary—a language so simple that a child could learn it, with a vocabulary as limited as the intelligence of the savages upon whom it was to be used. The traders did not reason this out. Bêche de mer English was the product of conditions and circumstances. Function precedes organ; and the need for a universal Melanesian lingo preceded bêche de mer English. Bêche de mer was purely fortuitous, but it was fortuitous in the deterministic way. Also, from the fact that out of the need the lingo arose, bêche de mer English is a splendid argument for the Esperanto enthusiasts.

It was the first white men who traveled through Melanesia after the early explorers, who developed bêche de mer English—men like the bêche de mer fishermen, sandalwood traders, pearl hunters, and labor recruiters. In the Solomons, for instance, many languages and dialects are spoken. The trader who tried to learn them all would be in for a tough time; in the next group he might visit, he'd find many more languages. A common language was necessary—a language so simple that even a child could learn it, with a vocabulary as limited as the understanding of the local people it was meant for. The traders didn’t actually think this through. Bêche de mer English was created by the situation. Function comes before form; and the need for a universal Melanesian language came before bêche de mer English. Bêche de mer was completely coincidental, but it was coincidental in a determined way. Moreover, because the language developed out of necessity, bêche de mer English is a strong argument for Esperanto supporters.

A limited vocabulary means that each word shall be overworked. Thus, fella, in bêche de mer, means all that piecee does and quite a bit more, and is used continually in every possible connection. Another overworked word is belong. Nothing stands alone. Everything is related. The thing desired is indicated by its relationship with other things. A primitive vocabulary means primitive expression, thus, the continuance of rain is expressed as rain he stop. Sun he come up cannot possibly be misunderstood, while the phrase-structure itself can be used without mental exertion in ten thousand different ways, as, for instance, a native who desires to tell you that there are fish in the water and who says fish he stop. It was while trading on Ysabel island that I learned the excellence of this usage. I wanted two or three pairs of the large clam-shells (measuring three feet across), but I did not want the meat inside. Also, I wanted the meat of some of the smaller clams to make a chowder. My instruction to the natives finally ripened into the following “You fella bring me fella big fella clam—kai-kai he no stop, he walk about. You fella bring me fella small fella clam—kai-kai he stop.”

A limited vocabulary means that each word gets overused. So, fella, in bêche de mer, means everything that piecee does and a lot more, and it's used nonstop in every possible context. Another overused word is belong. Nothing exists in isolation. Everything is connected. The thing you want is shown by its relationship with other things. A basic vocabulary leads to basic expression, so the ongoing rain is expressed as rain he stop. Sun he come up is clear enough, while the structure itself can be used effortlessly in countless ways, like when a native wants to tell you there are fish in the water and says fish he stop. I learned the value of this usage while trading on Ysabel Island. I wanted two or three pairs of large clam shells (about three feet wide), but I didn't want the meat inside. I also wanted the meat from some smaller clams to make chowder. My instructions to the natives finally turned into this: “You fella bring me fella big fella clam—kai-kai he no stop, he walk about. You fella bring me fella small fella clam—kai-kai he stop.”

Kai-kai is the Polynesian for food, meat, eating, and to eat: but it would be hard to say whether it was introduced into Melanesia by the sandalwood traders or by the Polynesian westward drift. Walk about is a quaint phrase. Thus, if one orders a Solomon sailor to put a tackle on a boom, he will suggest, “That fella boom he walk about too much.” And if the said sailor asks for shore liberty, he will state that it is his desire to walk about. Or if said sailor be seasick, he will explain his condition by stating, “Belly belong me walk about too much.”

Kai-kai is the Polynesian term for food, meat, eating, and to eat; but it's hard to determine whether it was brought into Melanesia by sandalwood traders or through the westward movement of Polynesians. "Walk about" is a charming expression. So, if you ask a Solomon sailor to attach a tackle to a boom, he might say, “That fella boom, he walks about too much.” And if that sailor wants some time on land, he will say he wants to walk about. Or if the sailor is feeling seasick, he will describe his state by saying, “My belly walks about too much.”

Too much, by the way, does not indicate anything excessive. It is merely the simple superlative. Thus, if a native is asked the distance to a certain village, his answer will be one of these four: “Close-up”; “long way little bit”; “long way big bit”; or “long way too much.” Long way too much does not mean that one cannot walk to the village; it means that he will have to walk farther than if the village were a long way big bit.

Too much, by the way, doesn’t imply anything excessive. It’s just a straightforward superlative. So, if a local is asked how far it is to a certain village, their answer will be one of these four: “Close-up”; “long way little bit”; “long way big bit”; or “long way too much.” Long way too much doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to walk to the village; it just means that you’ll have to walk farther than if the village were a long way big bit.

Gammon is to lie, to exaggerate, to joke. Mary is a woman. Any woman is a Mary. All women are Marys. Doubtlessly the first dim white adventurer whimsically called a native woman Mary, and of similar birth must have been many other words in bêche de mer. The white men were all seamen, and so capsize and sing out were introduced into the lingo. One would not tell a Melanesian cook to empty the dish-water, but he would tell him to capsize it. To sing out is to cry loudly, to call out, or merely to speak. Sing-sing is a song. The native Christian does not think of God calling for Adam in the Garden of Eden; in the native’s mind, God sings out for Adam.

Gammon means to lie, to exaggerate, or to joke. Mary is a woman. Any woman can be called a Mary. All women are Marys. It's likely that the first white adventurer whimsically named a native woman Mary, and similar words must have been created in bêche de mer. The white men were all sailors, so terms like capsize and sing out made their way into the language. You wouldn’t tell a Melanesian cook to empty the dishwater; instead, you would tell him to capsize it. To sing out means to shout, to call out, or simply to speak. A native Christian doesn’t think of God calling for Adam in the Garden of Eden; in their mind, God sings out for Adam.

Savvee or catchee are practically the only words which have been introduced straight from pigeon English. Of course, pickaninny has happened along, but some of its uses are delicious. Having bought a fowl from a native in a canoe, the native asked me if I wanted “Pickaninny stop along him fella.” It was not until he showed me a handful of hen’s eggs that I understood his meaning. My word, as an exclamation with a thousand significances, could have arrived from nowhere else than Old England. A paddle, a sweep, or an oar, is called washee, and washee is also the verb.

Savvee or catchee are basically the only words that have come directly from pigeon English. Sure, pickaninny has popped up, but some of its uses are pretty amusing. After I bought a chicken from a local in a canoe, he asked me if I wanted “Pickaninny stop along him fella.” It wasn't until he showed me a handful of hen's eggs that I understood what he meant. My word, as an exclamation with a thousand meanings, could only have come from Old England. A paddle, a sweep, or an oar is called washee, and washee is also the verb.

Here is a letter, dictated by one Peter, a native trader at Santa Anna, and addressed to his employer. Harry, the schooner captain, started to write the letter, but was stopped by Peter at the end of the second sentence. Thereafter the letter runs in Peter’s own words, for Peter was afraid that Harry gammoned too much, and he wanted the straight story of his needs to go to headquarters.

Here is a letter, dictated by Peter, a local trader in Santa Anna, and addressed to his boss. Harry, the captain of the schooner, began writing the letter but was interrupted by Peter at the end of the second sentence. After that, the letter continues in Peter's own words because Peter was worried that Harry might exaggerate too much, and he wanted the honest account of his needs to go to headquarters.

Santa Anna

Santa Anna

“Trader Peter has worked 12 months for your firm and has not received any pay yet. He hereby wants £12.” (At this point Peter began dictation). “Harry he gammon along him all the time too much. I like him 6 tin biscuit, 4 bag rice, 24 tin bullamacow. Me like him 2 rifle, me savvee look out along boat, some place me go man he no good, he kai-kai along me.

“Trader Peter has been working for your company for a year and still hasn't been paid. He now wants £12.” (At this point, Peter started dictating). “Harry has been bothering him too much. I owe him 6 tins of biscuits, 4 bags of rice, and 24 cans of bullamakow. I owe him 2 rifles; I understand I need to keep an eye out along the boat, because in some places I go, the man is no good, he kai-kai with me.”

Peter.”

Peter.”

Bullamacow means tinned beef. This word was corrupted from the English language by the Samoans, and from them learned by the traders, who carried it along with them into Melanesia. Captain Cook and the other early navigators made a practice of introducing seeds, plants, and domestic animals amongst the natives. It was at Samoa that one such navigator landed a bull and a cow. “This is a bull and cow,” said he to the Samoans. They thought he was giving the name of the breed, and from that day to this, beef on the hoof and beef in the tin is called bullamacow.

Bullamacow means canned beef. This word was adapted from English by the Samoans, and traders picked it up from them, taking it into Melanesia. Captain Cook and other early navigators made it a point to introduce seeds, plants, and farm animals to the local people. It was in Samoa that one of these navigators brought ashore a bull and a cow. “This is a bull and a cow,” he told the Samoans. They thought he was naming the breed, and ever since, beef on the hoof and canned beef has been called bullamacow.

A Solomon islander cannot say fence, so, in bêche de mer, it becomes fennis; store is sittore, and box is bokkis. Just now the fashion in chests, which are known as boxes, is to have a bell-arrangement on the lock so that the box cannot be opened without sounding an alarm. A box so equipped is not spoken of as a mere box, but as the bokkis belong bell.

A Solomon islander can’t say fence, so in bêche de mer, it becomes fennis; store is sittore, and box is bokkis. Right now, the trend with chests, which are called boxes, is to have a bell mechanism on the lock so that the box can’t be opened without ringing an alarm. A box like this isn’t just called a box, but rather bokkis belong bell.

Fright is the bêche de mer for fear. If a native appears timid and one asks him the cause, he is liable to hear in reply: “Me fright along you too much.” Or the native may be fright along storm, or wild bush, or haunted places. Cross covers every form of anger. A man may be cross at one when he is feeling only petulant; or he may be cross when he is seeking to chop off your head and make a stew out of you. A recruit, after having toiled three years on a plantation, was returned to his own village on Malaita. He was clad in all kinds of gay and sportive garments. On his head was a top-hat. He possessed a trade-box full of calico, beads, porpoise-teeth, and tobacco. Hardly was the anchor down, when the villagers were on board. The recruit looked anxiously for his own relatives, but none was to be seen. One of the natives took the pipe out of his mouth. Another confiscated the strings of beads from around his neck. A third relieved him of his gaudy loin-cloth, and a fourth tried on the top-hat and omitted to return it. Finally, one of them took his trade-box, which represented three years’ toil, and dropped it into a canoe alongside. “That fella belong you?” the captain asked the recruit, referring to the thief. “No belong me,” was the answer. “Then why in Jericho do you let him take the box?” the captain demanded indignantly. Quoth the recruit, “Me speak along him, say bokkis he stop, that fella he cross along me”—which was the recruit’s way of saying that the other man would murder him. God’s wrath, when He sent the Flood, was merely a case of being cross along mankind.

Fright is the ultimate form of fear. If a local seems shy and someone asks why, they might say: “I’m scared along with you too much.” Or the local might be fright because of a storm, the wild bush, or spooky places. Cross describes all kinds of anger. A person might be cross with someone when they’re just feeling cranky; or they could be cross when they’re really ready to attack. A newcomer, after working three years on a plantation, was sent back to his village on Malaita. He was dressed in bright and flashy clothes. On his head was a top hat. He had a trade box full of calico, beads, porpoise teeth, and tobacco. As soon as the anchor dropped, the villagers rushed on board. The newcomer looked around for his relatives, but none appeared. One local took the pipe from his mouth. Another snatched the beads from his neck. A third took his flashy loincloth, and a fourth tried on the top hat and didn’t give it back. Finally, one of them grabbed his trade box, which represented three years of hard work, and tossed it into a canoe nearby. “Does that guy belong to you?” the captain asked the newcomer, pointing at the thief. “No, he doesn’t belong to me,” he replied. “Then why in the world do you let him take the box?” the captain asked, irritated. The newcomer replied, “I talk to him, say the box is mine, that guy will be cross with me”—which was his way of saying the other man would kill him. God’s anger when He sent the Flood was just a case of being cross with humanity.

What name? is the great interrogation of bêche de mer. It all depends on how it is uttered. It may mean: What is your business? What do you mean by this outrageous conduct? What do you want? What is the thing you are after? You had best watch out; I demand an explanation; and a few hundred other things. Call a native out of his house in the middle of the night, and he is likely to demand, “What name you sing out along me?”

What name? is the big question of bêche de mer. It all depends on how it's said. It could mean: What do you want? What are you trying to say with this crazy behavior? What’s your goal? You better be careful; I want an explanation; and a bunch of other things. If you call a local out of his house in the middle of the night, he's probably going to ask, “What name are you shouting at me?”

Imagine the predicament of the Germans on the plantations of Bougainville Island, who are compelled to learn bêche de mer English in order to handle the native labourers. It is to them an unscientific polyglot, and there are no text-books by which to study it. It is a source of unholy delight to the other white planters and traders to hear the German wrestling stolidly with the circumlocutions and short-cuts of a language that has no grammar and no dictionary.

Imagine the situation of the Germans on the plantations of Bougainville Island, who have to learn bêche de mer English to communicate with the local workers. To them, it feels like a chaotic mix of languages, and there are no textbooks to help them study it. The other white planters and traders find it amusing to watch the Germans struggle with the roundabout ways and shortcuts of a language that lacks grammar and a dictionary.

Some years ago large numbers of Solomon islanders were recruited to labour on the sugar plantations of Queensland. A missionary urged one of the labourers, who was a convert, to get up and preach a sermon to a shipload of Solomon islanders who had just arrived. He chose for his subject the Fall of Man, and the address he gave became a classic in all Australasia. It proceeded somewhat in the following manner:

Some years ago, many Solomon Islanders were recruited to work on the sugar plantations in Queensland. A missionary encouraged one of the laborers, who had converted, to stand up and give a sermon to a ship full of Solomon Islanders who had just arrived. He chose the topic of the Fall of Man, and his speech became a classic throughout Australasia. It went something like this:

“Altogether you boy belong Solomons you no savvee white man. Me fella me savvee him. Me fella me savvee talk along white man.

“Overall, you boys belong to Solomon, you don't understand the white man. I do, though. I understand how to talk to the white man."

“Before long time altogether no place he stop. God big fella marster belong white man, him fella He make ’m altogether. God big fella marster belong white man, He make ’m big fella garden. He good fella too much. Along garden plenty yam he stop, plenty cocoanut, plenty taro, plenty kumara (sweet potatoes), altogether good fella kai-kai too much.

“Before long, he didn’t stop anywhere at all. God is the big master of the white man; He created everything. God is the big master of the white man; He made a big garden. He is really good. In the garden, there are plenty of yams, lots of coconuts, plenty of taro, and lots of kumara (sweet potatoes), all really good food.”

“Bimeby God big fella marster belong white man He make ’m one fella man and put ’m along garden belong Him. He call ’m this fella man Adam. He name belong him. He put him this fella man Adam along garden, and He speak, ‘This fella garden he belong you.’ And He look ’m this fella Adam he walk about too much. Him fella Adam all the same sick; he no savvee kai-kai; he walk about all the time. And God He no savvee. God big fella marster belong white man, He scratch ’m head belong Him. God say: ‘What name? Me no savvee what name this fella Adam he want.’

“Soon, God, the big master who belongs to the white man, made a man and placed him in the garden that belonged to Him. He called this man Adam and named him. He put this man Adam in the garden and said, ‘This garden is yours.’ And He saw that this Adam was wandering around too much. Adam felt lonely; he had no food to eat; he walked around all the time. And God didn’t understand. God, the big master who belongs to the white man, scratched His head. God said: ‘What name? I don’t know what name this Adam wants.’”

“Bimeby God He scratch ’m head belong Him too much, and speak: ‘Me fella me savvee, him fella Adam him want ’m Mary.’ So He make Adam he go asleep, He take one fella bone belong him, and He make ’m one fella Mary along bone. He call him this fella Mary, Eve. He give ’m this fella Eve along Adam, and He speak along him fella Adam: ‘Close up altogether along this fella garden belong you two fella. One fella tree he tambo (taboo) along you altogether. This fella tree belong apple.’

"Eventually, God scratched His head for a while and said: 'I understand, Adam wants a Mary.' So He made Adam fall asleep, took one of his ribs, and created a woman from it. He called her Eve. He gave Eve to Adam and said to him: 'Keep everything in this garden you both share. There's just one tree that you must not touch—it's the apple tree.'"

“So Adam Eve two fella stop along garden, and they two fella have ’m good time too much. Bimeby, one day, Eve she come along Adam, and she speak, ‘More good you me two fella we eat ’m this fella apple.’ Adam he speak, ‘No,’ and Eve she speak, ‘What name you no like ’m me?’ And Adam he speak, ‘Me like ’m you too much, but me fright along God.’ And Eve she speak, ‘Gammon! What name? God He no savvee look along us two fella all ’m time. God big fella marster, He gammon along you.’ But Adam he speak, ‘No.’ But Eve she talk, talk, talk, allee time—allee same Mary she talk along boy along Queensland and make ’m trouble along boy. And bimeby Adam he tired too much, and he speak, ‘All right.’ So these two fella they go eat ’m. When they finish eat ’m, my word, they fright like hell, and they go hide along scrub.

“So Adam and Eve are chilling in the garden, and they’re having a great time. One day, Eve walks up to Adam and says, 'It’d be better if we ate this apple.' Adam replies, 'No,' and Eve asks, 'Why don’t you want to with me?' Adam says, 'I like you a lot, but I’m scared of God.' Eve counters, 'That’s nonsense! What do you mean? God doesn’t watch us all the time. God’s a big boss; He doesn’t care about you.' But Adam replies, 'No.' Eve keeps talking, just like Mary talks to boys in Queensland and gets them into trouble. Eventually, Adam gets really tired of it and says, 'Fine.' So they end up eating it. Once they’re done, they feel terrified and hide in the bushes.”

“And God He come walk about along garden, and He sing out, ‘Adam!’ Adam he no speak. He too much fright. My word! And God He sing out, ‘Adam!’ And Adam he speak, ‘You call ’m me?’ God He speak, ‘Me call ’m you too much.’ Adam he speak, ‘Me sleep strong fella too much.’ And God He speak, ‘You been eat ’m this fella apple.’ Adam he speak, ‘No, me no been eat ’m.’ God He speak. ‘What name you gammon along me? You been eat ’m.’ And Adam he speak, ‘Yes, me been eat ’m.’

“And God walked through the garden and called out, ‘Adam!’ Adam didn’t respond. He was too scared. My word! And God called again, ‘Adam!’ Then Adam said, ‘Did you call me?’ God replied, ‘I’ve been calling you a lot.’ Adam said, ‘I’ve been sleeping really deeply.’ And God said, ‘You ate this apple.’ Adam responded, ‘No, I didn’t eat it.’ God said, ‘Why are you lying to me? You ate it.’ And Adam admitted, ‘Yes, I did eat it.’”

“And God big fella marster He cross along Adam Eve two fella too much, and He speak, ‘You two fella finish along me altogether. You go catch ’m bokkis (box) belong you, and get to hell along scrub.’

“And God, the big guy, he came across Adam and Eve, and he said, ‘You two finish up with me now. Go grab your box and get out of here.’”

“So Adam Eve these two fella go along scrub. And God He make ’m one big fennis (fence) all around garden and He put ’m one fella marster belong God along fennis. And He give this fella marster belong God one big fella musket, and He speak, ‘S’pose you look ’m these two fella Adam Eve, you shoot ’m plenty too much.’”

“So Adam and Eve, these two people, went through the scrub. And God made a big fence all around the garden and put a master belonging to God by the fence. And He gave this master a big musket and said, ‘If you see these two people, you shoot them way too much.’”

CHAPTER XVII
THE AMATEUR DOCTOR

When we sailed from San Francisco on the Snark I knew as much about sickness as the Admiral of the Swiss Navy knows about salt water. And here, at the start, let me advise any one who meditates going to out-of-the-way tropic places. Go to a first-class druggist—the sort that have specialists on their salary list who know everything. Talk the matter over with such an one. Note carefully all that he says. Have a list made of all that he recommends. Write out a cheque for the total cost, and tear it up.

When we left San Francisco on the Snark, I knew about as much about illness as the Admiral of the Swiss Navy knows about the ocean. And right from the start, let me advise anyone thinking about traveling to remote tropical places. Visit a top-notch pharmacist—the kind that has specialists on staff who know everything. Discuss your concerns with them. Pay close attention to everything they say. Make a list of all their recommendations. Write a check for the total amount, and then tear it up.

I wish I had done the same. I should have been far wiser, I know now, if I had bought one of those ready-made, self-acting, fool-proof medicine chests such as are favoured by fourth-rate ship-masters. In such a chest each bottle has a number. On the inside of the lid is placed a simple table of directions: No. 1, toothache; No. 2, smallpox; No. 3, stomachache; No. 4, cholera; No. 5, rheumatism; and so on, through the list of human ills. And I might have used it as did a certain venerable skipper, who, when No. 3 was empty, mixed a dose from No. 1 and No. 2, or, when No. 7 was all gone, dosed his crew with 4 and 3 till 3 gave out, when he used 5 and 2.

I wish I had done the same. I realize now that I would have been much smarter if I had bought one of those ready-made, automatic, foolproof medicine cabinets like the ones that low-grade ship captains use. In such a cabinet, each bottle is numbered. Inside the lid, there’s a simple chart of instructions: No. 1, toothache; No. 2, smallpox; No. 3, stomachache; No. 4, cholera; No. 5, rheumatism; and so on, covering all kinds of ailments. And I could have used it just like a certain old captain who, when No. 3 was empty, mixed a dose from No. 1 and No. 2, or when No. 7 ran out, he treated his crew with No. 4 and No. 3 until No. 3 was finished, then he used No. 5 and No. 2.

So far, with the exception of corrosive sublimate (which was recommended as an antiseptic in surgical operations, and which I have not yet used for that purpose), my medicine-chest has been useless. It has been worse than useless, for it has occupied much space which I could have used to advantage.

So far, other than corrosive sublimate (which was suggested as an antiseptic for surgeries, and which I haven't used for that yet), my medicine cabinet has been pointless. It's been more than pointless, as it has taken up a lot of space that I could have used more effectively.

With my surgical instruments it is different. While I have not yet had serious use for them, I do not regret the space they occupy. The thought of them makes me feel good. They are so much life insurance, only, fairer than that last grim game, one is not supposed to die in order to win. Of course, I don’t know how to use them, and what I don’t know about surgery would set up a dozen quacks in prosperous practice. But needs must when the devil drives, and we of the Snark have no warning when the devil may take it into his head to drive, ay, even a thousand miles from land and twenty days from the nearest port.

With my surgical tools, it’s a different story. Even though I haven’t really put them to good use yet, I don’t regret the space they take up. Just thinking about them makes me feel good. They’re kind of like life insurance, but fairer than that last dark game—one isn’t supposed to die to win. Of course, I don’t know how to use them, and what I don’t know about surgery could easily support a dozen quacks in successful practice. But needs must when the devil drives, and we on the Snark have no warning when the devil might decide to push us, even a thousand miles from land and twenty days from the nearest port.

I did not know anything about dentistry, but a friend fitted me out with forceps and similar weapons, and in Honolulu I picked up a book upon teeth. Also, in that sub-tropical city I managed to get hold of a skull, from which I extracted the teeth swiftly and painlessly. Thus equipped, I was ready, though not exactly eager, to tackle any tooth that get in my way. It was in Nuku-hiva, in the Marquesas, that my first case presented itself in the shape of a little, old Chinese. The first thing I did was to got the buck fever, and I leave it to any fair-minded person if buck fever, with its attendant heart-palpitations and arm-tremblings, is the right condition for a man to be in who is endeavouring to pose as an old hand at the business. I did not fool the aged Chinaman. He was as frightened as I and a bit more shaky. I almost forgot to be frightened in the fear that he would bolt. I swear, if he had tried to, that I would have tripped him up and sat on him until calmness and reason returned.

I didn’t know anything about dentistry, but a friend gave me some forceps and other tools, and in Honolulu, I found a book about teeth. While I was in that tropical city, I also managed to get a skull, from which I quickly and painlessly pulled out the teeth. With those supplies, I was ready, though not exactly eager, to deal with any tooth that came my way. My first case came up in Nuku-hiva, in the Marquesas, and it was a little, old Chinese man. The first thing I felt was panic, and I’ll leave it to anyone fair-minded to judge if panic, with its racing heart and shaky hands, is a good state to be in when someone’s trying to act like a pro. I didn’t fool the old man. He was just as scared as I was, maybe even a little more shaky. I almost forgot to be scared because I was worried he would run away. I swear, if he had tried to, I would have tripped him and sat on him until things calmed down.

I wanted that tooth. Also, Martin wanted a snap-shot of me getting it. Likewise Charmian got her camera. Then the procession started. We were stopping at what had been the club-house when Stevenson was in the Marquesas on the Casco. On the veranda, where he had passed so many pleasant hours, the light was not good—for snapshots, I mean. I led on into the garden, a chair in one hand, the other hand filled with forceps of various sorts, my knees knocking together disgracefully. The poor old Chinaman came second, and he was shaking, too. Charmian and Martin brought up the rear, armed with kodaks. We dived under the avocado trees, threaded our way through the cocoanut palms, and came on a spot that satisfied Martin’s photographic eye.

I wanted that tooth. Also, Martin wanted to take a snapshot of me getting it. Likewise, Charmian grabbed her camera. Then the procession started. We stopped at what had been the clubhouse when Stevenson was in the Marquesas on the Casco. On the veranda, where he had spent so many enjoyable hours, the lighting wasn’t great—for snapshots, that is. I led into the garden, a chair in one hand and forceps of various kinds in the other, my knees shaking uncomfortably. The poor old Chinaman came next and he was shaking too. Charmian and Martin brought up the rear, armed with cameras. We ducked under the avocado trees, navigated through the coconut palms, and found a spot that pleased Martin’s photographic eye.

I looked at the tooth, and then discovered that I could not remember anything about the teeth I had pulled from the skull five months previously. Did it have one prong? two prongs? or three prongs? What was left of the part that showed appeared very crumbly, and I knew that I should have taken hold of the tooth deep down in the gum. It was very necessary that I should know how many prongs that tooth had. Back to the house I went for the book on teeth. The poor old victim looked like photographs I had seen of fellow-countrymen of his, criminals, on their knees, waiting the stroke of the beheading sword.

I looked at the tooth and realized I couldn’t remember anything about the teeth I had pulled from the skull five months earlier. Did it have one prong, two prongs, or three prongs? The part that was visible seemed very crumbly, and I knew I should have grasped the tooth deep down in the gum. It was really important for me to know how many prongs that tooth had. I headed back to the house for the book on teeth. The poor old victim reminded me of photographs I had seen of his fellow countrymen, criminals, on their knees, waiting for the beheading sword.

“Don’t let him get away,” I cautioned to Martin. “I want that tooth.”

“Don’t let him get away,” I warned Martin. “I want that tooth.”

“I sure won’t,” he replied with enthusiasm, from behind his camera. “I want that photograph.”

“I definitely won’t,” he said excitedly, from behind his camera. “I want that photo.”

For the first time I felt sorry for the Chinaman. Though the book did not tell me anything about pulling teeth, it was all right, for on one page I found drawings of all the teeth, including their prongs and how they were set in the jaw. Then came the pursuit of the forceps. I had seven pairs, but was in doubt as to which pair I should use. I did not want any mistake. As I turned the hardware over with rattle and clang, the poor victim began to lose his grip and to turn a greenish yellow around the gills. He complained about the sun, but that was necessary for the photograph, and he had to stand it. I fitted the forceps around the tooth, and the patient shivered and began to wilt.

For the first time, I felt sorry for the Chinese man. Even though the book didn’t give me any details about pulling teeth, that was fine because on one page, I found illustrations of all the teeth, including their roots and how they fit into the jaw. Then came the search for the forceps. I had seven pairs, but I wasn’t sure which one to use. I wanted to avoid any mistakes. As I clanked the tools around, the poor guy started to lose his grip and turned a sickly greenish-yellow. He complained about the sunlight, but that was essential for the photo, and he just had to deal with it. I positioned the forceps around the tooth, and the patient trembled and started to fade.

“Ready?” I called to Martin.

“Ready?” I called out to Martin.

“All ready,” he answered.

“Ready to go,” he answered.

I gave a pull. Ye gods! The tooth was loose! Out it came on the instant. I was jubilant as I held it aloft in the forceps.

I gave a tug. Oh my gosh! The tooth was loose! It came out right away. I was thrilled as I held it up in the forceps.

“Put it back, please, oh, put it back,” Martin pleaded. “You were too quick for me.”

“Put it back, please, oh, put it back,” Martin begged. “You were too fast for me.”

And the poor old Chinaman sat there while I put the tooth back and pulled over. Martin snapped the camera. The deed was done. Elation? Pride? No hunter was ever prouder of his first pronged buck than I was of that three-pronged tooth. I did it! I did it! With my own hands and a pair of forceps I did it, to say nothing of the forgotten memories of the dead man’s skull.

And the poor old Chinese man sat there while I put the tooth back and pulled over. Martin snapped the camera. It was done. Elation? Pride? No hunter was ever prouder of his first three-pronged buck than I was of that three-pronged tooth. I did it! I did it! With my own hands and a pair of forceps, I did it, not to mention the forgotten memories of the dead man's skull.

My next case was a Tahitian sailor. He was a small man, in a state of collapse from long days and nights of jumping toothache. I lanced the gums first. I didn’t know how to lance them, but I lanced them just the same. It was a long pull and a strong pull. The man was a hero. He groaned and moaned, and I thought he was going to faint. But he kept his mouth open and let me pull. And then it came.

My next case was a Tahitian sailor. He was a small guy, completely worn out from long days and nights of severe toothache. I started by lancing his gums. I had no idea how to do it properly, but I just went for it anyway. It was a long and tough process. The man was incredibly brave. He groaned and moaned, and I thought he might pass out. But he kept his mouth open and let me do my thing. And then it happened.

After that I was ready to meet all comers—just the proper state of mind for a Waterloo. And it came. Its name was Tomi. He was a strapping giant of a heathen with a bad reputation. He was addicted to deeds of violence. Among other things he had beaten two of his wives to death with his fists. His father and mother had been naked cannibals. When he sat down and I put the forceps into his mouth, he was nearly as tall as I was standing up. Big men, prone to violence, very often have a streak of fat in their make-up, so I was doubtful of him. Charmian grabbed one arm and Warren grabbed the other. Then the tug of war began. The instant the forceps closed down on the tooth, his jaws closed down on the forceps. Also, both his hands flew up and gripped my pulling hand. I held on, and he held on. Charmian and Warren held on. We wrestled all about the shop.

After that, I was ready to take on anyone—just the right mindset for a battle. And it happened. Its name was Tomi. He was a massive guy from a rough background with a terrible reputation. He was known for being violent. Among other things, he had beaten two of his wives to death with his fists. His parents had been cannibals. When he sat down and I put the forceps in his mouth, he was almost as tall as I was when I was standing. Big guys, who tend to be violent, often have a bit of extra weight, so I was skeptical about him. Charmian grabbed one of his arms and Warren grabbed the other. Then the tug of war started. The moment the forceps clamped down on the tooth, his jaws clamped down on the forceps. Plus, both his hands shot up and grabbed onto my pulling hand. I held on, and he held on. Charmian and Warren held on too. We wrestled all around the shop.

It was three against one, and my hold on an aching tooth was certainly a foul one; but in spite of the handicap he got away with us. The forceps slipped off, banging and grinding along against his upper teeth with a nerve-scraping sound. Out of his month flew the forceps, and he rose up in the air with a blood-curdling yell. The three of us fell back. We expected to be massacred. But that howling savage of sanguinary reputation sank back in the chair. He held his head in both his hands, and groaned and groaned and groaned. Nor would he listen to reason. I was a quack. My painless tooth-extraction was a delusion and a snare and a low advertising dodge. I was so anxious to get that tooth that I was almost ready to bribe him. But that went against my professional pride and I let him depart with the tooth still intact, the only case on record up to date of failure on my part when once I had got a grip. Since then I have never let a tooth go by me. Only the other day I volunteered to beat up three days to windward to pull a woman missionary’s tooth. I expect, before the voyage of the Snark is finished, to be doing bridge work and putting on gold crowns.

It was three against one, and my grip on a painful tooth was definitely a shady move; but despite the odds, he managed to escape from us. The forceps slipped off, clanging and scraping against his upper teeth with a nerve-wracking sound. The forceps flew out of his mouth, and he shot up into the air with a blood-curdling scream. The three of us recoiled, expecting to be slaughtered. But that howling savage with his bloody reputation sank back into the chair. He held his head in both hands, groaning endlessly. He wouldn’t listen to reason. I was a quack. My promise of painless tooth-extraction was a lie and a trick, a cheap advertising gimmick. I was so desperate to get that tooth that I almost considered bribing him. But that went against my professional pride, so I let him leave with his tooth still in place, marking the only recorded failure of mine after I had managed to get a grip. Since then, I’ve never let a tooth slip away. Just the other day, I volunteered to struggle for three days to pull a woman missionary's tooth. I expect that by the time the voyage of the Snark is over, I’ll be doing bridge work and placing gold crowns.

I don’t know whether they are yaws or not—a physician in Fiji told me they were, and a missionary in the Solomons told me they were not; but at any rate I can vouch for the fact that they are most uncomfortable. It was my luck to ship in Tahiti a French-sailor, who, when we got to sea, proved to be afflicted with a vile skin disease. The Snark was too small and too much of a family party to permit retaining him on board; but perforce, until we could reach land and discharge him, it was up to me to doctor him. I read up the books and proceeded to treat him, taking care afterwards always to use a thorough antiseptic wash. When we reached Tutuila, far from getting rid of him, the port doctor declared a quarantine against him and refused to allow him ashore. But at Apia, Samoa, I managed to ship him off on a steamer to New Zealand. Here at Apia my ankles were badly bitten by mosquitoes, and I confess to having scratched the bites—as I had a thousand times before. By the time I reached the island of Savaii, a small sore had developed on the hollow of my instep. I thought it was due to chafe and to acid fumes from the hot lava over which I tramped. An application of salve would cure it—so I thought. The salve did heal it over, whereupon an astonishing inflammation set in, the new skin came off, and a larger sore was exposed. This was repeated many times. Each time new skin formed, an inflammation followed, and the circumference of the sore increased. I was puzzled and frightened. All my life my skin had been famous for its healing powers, yet here was something that would not heal. Instead, it was daily eating up more skin, while it had eaten down clear through the skin and was eating up the muscle itself.

I don’t know if they are yaws or not—a doctor in Fiji said they were, and a missionary in the Solomons said they weren’t; but either way, I can confirm that they are really uncomfortable. I happened to pick up a French sailor in Tahiti who, once we got out to sea, turned out to have a nasty skin disease. The Snark was too small and too much of a family affair to allow him to stay onboard, so until we could reach land and get rid of him, I had to take care of him. I read up on the books and started treating him, making sure to always use a thorough antiseptic wash afterward. When we reached Tutuila, instead of getting rid of him, the port doctor put him in quarantine and refused to let him go ashore. But in Apia, Samoa, I managed to get him on a steamer to New Zealand. While I was in Apia, my ankles were badly bitten by mosquitoes, and I admit I scratched the bites—as I had done a thousand times before. By the time I got to Savaii, a small sore had developed on the hollow of my instep. I thought it was just from chafing and the acid fumes from the hot lava I was walking over. I figured that a little salve would fix it—at least, that’s what I thought. The salve did close it up, but then a crazy inflammation started, the new skin came off, and a larger sore opened up. This happened repeatedly. Each time new skin formed, inflammation followed, and the size of the sore grew. I was confused and scared. My skin had always been known for its ability to heal, yet here was something that just wouldn’t heal. Instead, it was steadily eating away more skin, and it had already gone through the skin and was now attacking the muscle itself.

By this time the Snark was at sea on her way to Fiji. I remembered the French sailor, and for the first time became seriously alarmed. Four other similar sores had appeared—or ulcers, rather, and the pain of them kept me awake at night. All my plans were made to lay up the Snark in Fiji and get away on the first steamer to Australia and professional M.D.’s. In the meantime, in my amateur M.D. way, I did my best. I read through all the medical works on board. Not a line nor a word could I find descriptive of my affliction. I brought common horse-sense to bear on the problem. Here were malignant and excessively active ulcers that were eating me up. There was an organic and corroding poison at work. Two things I concluded must be done. First, some agent must be found to destroy the poison. Secondly, the ulcers could not possibly heal from the outside in; they must heal from the inside out. I decided to fight the poison with corrosive sublimate. The very name of it struck me as vicious. Talk of fighting fire with fire! I was being consumed by a corrosive poison, and it appealed to my fancy to fight it with another corrosive poison. After several days I alternated dressings of corrosive sublimate with dressings of peroxide of hydrogen. And behold, by the time we reached Fiji four of the five ulcers were healed, while the remaining one was no bigger than a pea.

By this time, the Snark was at sea on her way to Fiji. I remembered the French sailor, and for the first time, I became seriously alarmed. Four other similar sores had appeared—or rather, ulcers—and the pain from them kept me awake at night. I planned to dock the Snark in Fiji and catch the first steamer to Australia to see professional doctors. In the meantime, I did my best in my amateur doctor's way. I read through all the medical texts on board. I couldn't find a single line or word that described my condition. I used common sense to approach the problem. There were malignant and extremely active ulcers that were eating away at me. There was an organic and corrosive poison at work. I concluded that two things must be done. First, I needed to find something to get rid of the poison. Second, the ulcers couldn't possibly heal from the outside in; they had to heal from the inside out. I decided to combat the poison with corrosive sublimate. The name itself sounded ruthless. Talk about fighting fire with fire! I was being consumed by a corrosive poison, and it seemed fitting to fight it with another corrosive poison. After several days, I alternated dressings of corrosive sublimate with dressings of hydrogen peroxide. And behold, by the time we reached Fiji, four out of the five ulcers had healed, and the remaining one was no bigger than a pea.

I now felt fully qualified to treat yaws. Likewise I had a wholesome respect for them. Not so the rest of the crew of the Snark. In their case, seeing was not believing. One and all, they had seen my dreadful predicament; and all of them, I am convinced, had a subconscious certitude that their own superb constitutions and glorious personalities would never allow lodgment of so vile a poison in their carcasses as my anæmic constitution and mediocre personality had allowed to lodge in mine. At Port Resolution, in the New Hebrides, Martin elected to walk barefooted in the bush and returned on board with many cuts and abrasions, especially on his shins.

I now felt completely qualified to treat yaws. I also had a healthy respect for them. Not so with the rest of the crew of the Snark. For them, seeing wasn’t believing. They all witnessed my terrible situation, and I’m sure they subconsciously believed that their strong bodies and amazing personalities would never let such a nasty poison infect them like it had in my weak body and average personality. At Port Resolution, in the New Hebrides, Martin chose to walk barefoot in the bush and came back on board with many cuts and scrapes, especially on his shins.

“You’d better be careful,” I warned him. “I’ll mix up some corrosive sublimate for you to wash those cuts with. An ounce of prevention, you know.”

“You should be careful,” I warned him. “I’ll mix up some corrosive sublimate for you to clean those cuts with. An ounce of prevention, you know.”

But Martin smiled a superior smile. Though he did not say so, I nevertheless was given to understand that he was not as other men (I was the only man he could possibly have had reference to), and that in a couple of days his cuts would be healed. He also read me a dissertation upon the peculiar purity of his blood and his remarkable healing powers. I felt quite humble when he was done with me. Evidently I was different from other men in so far as purity of blood was concerned.

But Martin smiled a self-satisfied smile. Although he didn't say it outright, I got the impression that he saw himself as different from other guys (I was the only one he could have been talking about), and that in a couple of days, his wounds would be healed. He also went on about the unique purity of his blood and his amazing healing abilities. I felt pretty small when he finished. Clearly, I was different from other guys when it came to blood purity.

Nakata, the cabin-boy, while ironing one day, mistook the calf of his leg for the ironing-block and accumulated a burn three inches in length and half an inch wide. He, too, smiled the superior smile when I offered him corrosive sublimate and reminded him of my own cruel experience. I was given to understand, with all due suavity and courtesy, that no matter what was the matter with my blood, his number-one, Japanese, Port-Arthur blood was all right and scornful of the festive microbe.

Nakata, the cabin boy, was ironing one day when he accidentally confused the calf of his leg with the ironing board and ended up with a burn three inches long and half an inch wide. He, too, smiled that condescending smile when I offered him corrosive sublimate and brought up my own harsh experience. I was politely informed, with all due charm and courtesy, that no matter what issues my blood had, his top-notch Japanese Port Arthur blood was perfectly fine and dismissive of the festive germ.

Wada, the cook, took part in a disastrous landing of the launch, when he had to leap overboard and fend the launch off the beach in a smashing surf. By means of shells and coral he cut his legs and feet up beautifully. I offered him the corrosive sublimate bottle. Once again I suffered the superior smile and was given to understand that his blood was the same blood that had licked Russia and was going to lick the United States some day, and that if his blood wasn’t able to cure a few trifling cuts, he’d commit hari-kari in sheer disgrace.

Wada, the cook, was involved in a disastrous landing of the boat, where he had to jump overboard and push the boat away from the beach in rough waves. He cut his legs and feet on shells and coral. I offered him the corrosive sublimate bottle. Once again, I was met with a smug smile and got the impression that his blood was the same blood that conquered Russia and would defeat the United States someday, and that if his blood couldn’t heal a few minor cuts, he’d end his life in utter disgrace.

From all of which I concluded that an amateur M.D. is without honour on his own vessel, even if he has cured himself. The rest of the crew had begun to look upon me as a sort of mild mono-maniac on the question of sores and sublimate. Just because my blood was impure was no reason that I should think everybody else’s was. I made no more overtures. Time and microbes were with me, and all I had to do was wait.

From all of this, I concluded that an amateur doctor has no respect on his own ship, even if he has managed to heal himself. The rest of the crew started to see me as a somewhat mild mono-maniac when it came to sores and mercury. Just because my blood was impure didn’t mean I should assume everyone else's was too. I stopped making any more advances. Time and germs were on my side, and all I had to do was wait.

“I think there’s some dirt in these cuts,” Martin said tentatively, after several days. “I’ll wash them out and then they’ll be all right,” he added, after I had refused to rise to the bait.

“I think there’s some dirt in these cuts,” Martin said hesitantly, after a few days. “I’ll clean them out and then they’ll be fine,” he added, after I had refused to take the bait.

Two more days passed, but the cuts did not pass, and I caught Martin soaking his feet and legs in a pail of hot water.

Two more days went by, but the cuts didn’t heal, and I found Martin soaking his feet and legs in a bucket of hot water.

“Nothing like hot water,” he proclaimed enthusiastically. “It beats all the dope the doctors ever put up. These sores will be all right in the morning.”

“Nothing like hot water,” he said excitedly. “It’s better than any medication the doctors have given. These sores will be fine by morning.”

But in the morning he wore a troubled look, and I knew that the hour of my triumph approached.

But in the morning, he had a worried expression, and I realized that my moment of victory was closer than ever.

“I think I will try some of that medicine,” he announced later on in the day. “Not that I think it’ll do much good,” he qualified, “but I’ll just give it a try anyway.”

“I think I will try some of that medicine,” he said later in the day. “Not that I think it’ll do much good,” he added, “but I’ll just give it a try anyway.”

Next came the proud blood of Japan to beg medicine for its illustrious sores, while I heaped coals of fire on all their houses by explaining in minute and sympathetic detail the treatment that should be given. Nakata followed instructions implicitly, and day by day his sores grew smaller. Wada was apathetic, and cured less readily. But Martin still doubted, and because he did not cure immediately, he developed the theory that while doctor’s dope was all right, it did not follow that the same kind of dope was efficacious with everybody. As for himself, corrosive sublimate had no effect. Besides, how did I know that it was the right stuff? I had had no experience. Just because I happened to get well while using it was not proof that it had played any part in the cure. There were such things as coincidences. Without doubt there was a dope that would cure the sores, and when he ran across a real doctor he would find what that dope was and get some of it.

Next came the proud blood of Japan to ask for medicine for its illustrious sores, while I piled up coals of fire on all their houses by explaining in detail and with sympathy the treatment that should be given. Nakata followed instructions without question, and day by day his sores grew smaller. Wada was indifferent and healed less quickly. But Martin still doubted, and because he didn’t heal immediately, he developed the theory that while doctor’s medication was fine, it didn’t mean that the same kind of medication would work for everyone. As for himself, corrosive sublimate had no effect. Besides, how did I know that it was the right stuff? I had no experience. Just because I happened to get better while using it didn’t prove it had anything to do with the cure. There were such things as coincidences. Without a doubt there was a medication that would heal the sores, and when he came across a real doctor he would find out what that medication was and get some of it.

About this time we arrived in the Solomon Islands. No physician would ever recommend the group for invalids or sanitoriums. I spent but little time there ere I really and for the first time in my life comprehended how frail and unstable is human tissue. Our first anchorage was Port Mary, on the island of Santa Anna. The one lone white man, a trader, came alongside. Tom Butler was his name, and he was a beautiful example of what the Solomons can do to a strong man. He lay in his whale-boat with the helplessness of a dying man. No smile and little intelligence illumined his face. He was a sombre death’s-head, too far gone to grin. He, too, had yaws, big ones. We were compelled to drag him over the rail of the Snark. He said that his health was good, that he had not had the fever for some time, and that with the exception of his arm he was all right and trim. His arm appeared to be paralysed. Paralysis he rejected with scorn. He had had it before, and recovered. It was a common native disease on Santa Anna, he said, as he was helped down the companion ladder, his dead arm dropping, bump-bump, from step to step. He was certainly the ghastliest guest we ever entertained, and we’ve had not a few lepers and elephantiasis victims on board.

About this time we arrived in the Solomon Islands. No doctor would ever recommend this place for sick people or sanatoriums. I spent very little time there before I truly understood for the first time how fragile and unstable human tissue is. Our first stop was Port Mary, on the island of Santa Anna. The only white man there, a trader, came up to us. His name was Tom Butler, and he was a striking example of what the Solomons can do to a strong man. He lay in his whale-boat, looking helpless like a dying person. There was no smile and little intelligence on his face. He was a grim figure, too far gone to even grin. He also had yaws, big ones. We had to drag him over the rail of the Snark. He claimed that his health was good, that he hadn’t had the fever in a while, and that aside from his arm, he was all right and fit. His arm seemed to be paralyzed. He rejected the idea of paralysis with disdain. He had experienced it before and recovered. He said it was a common native disease on Santa Anna as he was helped down the companion ladder, his limp arm thudding down step by step. He was definitely the most ghastly guest we've ever had, and we've hosted quite a few lepers and elephantiasis sufferers on board.

Martin inquired about yaws, for here was a man who ought to know. He certainly did know, if we could judge by his scarred arms and legs and by the live ulcers that corroded in the midst of the scars. Oh, one got used to yaws, quoth Tom Butler. They were never really serious until they had eaten deep into the flesh. Then they attacked the walls of the arteries, the arteries burst, and there was a funeral. Several of the natives had recently died that way ashore. But what did it matter? If it wasn’t yaws, it was something else in the Solomons.

Martin asked about yaws, since this was a man who should know. He definitely did know, if we judged by his scarred arms and legs and the active ulcers that were eating away in the middle of the scars. “Oh, you get used to yaws,” Tom Butler said. “They’re never truly serious until they’ve dug deep into the flesh. Then they go after the walls of the arteries, the arteries burst, and there’s a funeral.” Several of the locals had recently died that way on the shore. But what did it matter? If it wasn’t yaws, it was something else in the Solomons.

I noticed that from this moment Martin displayed a swiftly increasing interest in his own yaws. Dosings with corrosive sublimate were more frequent, while, in conversation, he began to revert with growing enthusiasm to the clean climate of Kansas and all other things Kansan. Charmian and I thought that California was a little bit of all right. Henry swore by Rapa, and Tehei staked all on Bora Bora for his own blood’s sake; while Wada and Nakata sang the sanitary pæan of Japan.

I noticed that from this moment on, Martin showed a rapidly growing interest in his own health issues. He was getting treated with corrosive sublimate more often, and in conversations, he increasingly excitedly talked about the clean climate of Kansas and everything related to it. Charmian and I thought California was pretty nice. Henry was all about Rapa, and Tehei put everything on Bora Bora for his family's sake, while Wada and Nakata praised the health benefits of Japan.

One evening, as the Snark worked around the southern end of the island of Ugi, looking for a reputed anchorage, a Church of England missionary, a Mr. Drew, bound in his whaleboat for the coast of San Cristoval, came alongside and stopped for dinner. Martin, his legs swathed in Red Cross bandages till they looked like a mummy’s, turned the conversation upon yaws. Yes, said Mr. Drew, they were quite common in the Solomons. All white men caught them.

One evening, as the Snark navigated around the southern end of Ugi Island, searching for a rumored anchorage, a Church of England missionary named Mr. Drew, who was heading in his whaleboat to the coast of San Cristoval, came alongside and paused for dinner. Martin, his legs wrapped in Red Cross bandages that made them look like a mummy's, steered the conversation towards yaws. "Yes," Mr. Drew said, "they're pretty common in the Solomons. All white men end up getting them."

“And have you had them?” Martin demanded, in the soul of him quite shocked that a Church of England missionary could possess so vulgar an affliction.

“And have you had them?” Martin asked, genuinely shocked that a Church of England missionary could have such a crude illness.

Mr. Drew nodded his head and added that not only had he had them, but at that moment he was doctoring several.

Mr. Drew nodded and said that not only had he treated them, but at that moment he was also taking care of several.

“What do you use on them?” Martin asked like a flash.

“What do you use on them?” Martin asked quickly.

My heart almost stood still waiting the answer. By that answer my professional medical prestige stood or fell. Martin, I could see, was quite sure it was going to fall. And then the answer—O blessed answer!

My heart nearly stopped as I waited for the answer. My professional medical reputation depended on it. Martin, I could tell, was convinced it was going to take a hit. And then the answer—oh, blessed answer!

“Corrosive sublimate,” said Mr. Drew.

"Corrosive sublimate," Mr. Drew said.

Martin gave in handsomely, I’ll admit, and I am confident that at that moment, if I had asked permission to pull one of his teeth, he would not have denied me.

Martin surrendered graciously, I’ll admit, and I’m sure that at that moment, if I had asked to pull one of his teeth, he wouldn’t have refused me.

All white men in the Solomons catch yaws, and every cut or abrasion practically means another yaw. Every man I met had had them, and nine out of ten had active ones. There was but one exception, a young fellow who had been in the islands five months, who had come down with fever ten days after he arrived, and who had since then been down so often with fever that he had had neither time nor opportunity for yaws.

All white men in the Solomons get yaws, and pretty much any cut or scrape means another case. Every man I met had them, and nine out of ten had active cases. There was just one exception, a young guy who had been in the islands for five months. He came down with a fever ten days after arriving and had been sick with fever so often since that he hadn’t had the time or opportunity to get yaws.

Every one on the Snark except Charmian came down with yaws. Hers was the same egotism that Japan and Kansas had displayed. She ascribed her immunity to the pureness of her blood, and as the days went by she ascribed it more often and more loudly to the pureness of her blood. Privately I ascribed her immunity to the fact that, being a woman, she escaped most of the cuts and abrasions to which we hard-working men were subject in the course of working the Snark around the world. I did not tell her so. You see, I did not wish to bruise her ego with brutal facts. Being an M.D., if only an amateur one, I knew more about the disease than she, and I knew that time was my ally. But alas, I abused my ally when it dealt a charming little yaw on the shin. So quickly did I apply antiseptic treatment, that the yaw was cured before she was convinced that she had one. Again, as an M.D., I was without honour on my own vessel; and, worse than that, I was charged with having tried to mislead her into the belief that she had had a yaw. The pureness of her blood was more rampant than ever, and I poked my nose into my navigation books and kept quiet. And then came the day. We were cruising along the coast of Malaita at the time.

Everyone on the Snark, except Charmian, got yaws. Her attitude was the same self-importance that Japan and Kansas had shown. She attributed her immunity to the purity of her blood, and as time passed, she talked about it more often and more loudly. Personally, I thought her immunity had more to do with the fact that, being a woman, she avoided most of the cuts and scrapes that we hardworking men got while managing the Snark around the world. I didn’t tell her this because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings with harsh realities. As an M.D., even if just an amateur, I knew more about the disease than she did, and I understood that time was on my side. But unfortunately, I misused that advantage when it gave me a charming little yaw on my shin. I applied antiseptic treatment so quickly that the yaw healed before she even realized she had one. Again, as an M.D., I was without respect on my own ship; worse, I was accused of trying to convince her that she had a yaw. The purity of her blood was more pronounced than ever, so I buried my head in my navigation books and stayed silent. Then came the day. We were cruising along the coast of Malaita at that time.

“What’s that abaft your ankle-bone?” said I.

“What’s that behind your ankle?” I asked.

“Nothing,” said she.

“Nothing,” she said.

“All right,” said I; “but put some corrosive sublimate on it just the same. And some two or three weeks from now, when it is well and you have a scar that you will carry to your grave, just forget about the purity of your blood and your ancestral history and tell me what you think about yaws anyway.”

“All right,” I said; “but still put some corrosive sublimate on it. And in two or three weeks, when it’s healed and you have a scar that you’ll carry for life, just forget about the purity of your blood and your family history and tell me what you think about yaws, anyway.”

It was as large as a silver dollar, that yaw, and it took all of three weeks to heal. There were times when Charmian could not walk because of the hurt of it; and there were times upon times when she explained that abaft the ankle-bone was the most painful place to have a yaw. I explained, in turn, that, never having experienced a yaw in that locality, I was driven to conclude the hollow of the instep was the most painful place for yaw-culture. We left it to Martin, who disagreed with both of us and proclaimed passionately that the only truly painful place was the shin. No wonder horse-racing is so popular.

It was as big as a silver dollar, that yaw, and it took a full three weeks to heal. There were times when Charmian couldn’t walk because of the pain; and many times she said that the area behind the ankle bone was the most painful spot for a yaw. I replied that, having never had a yaw in that area, I had to assume that the arch of the foot was the worst place for a yaw. We left it up to Martin, who disagreed with both of us and passionately declared that the only truly painful spot was the shin. No wonder horse racing is so popular.

But yaws lose their novelty after a time. At the present moment of writing I have five yaws on my hands and three more on my shin. Charmian has one on each side of her right instep. Tehei is frantic with his. Martin’s latest shin-cultures have eclipsed his earlier ones. And Nakata has several score casually eating away at his tissue. But the history of the Snark in the Solomons has been the history of every ship since the early discoverers. From the “Sailing Directions” I quote the following:

But yaws lose their novelty over time. Right now, I have five yaws on my hands and three more on my shin. Charmian has one on each side of her right instep. Tehei is freaking out about his. Martin’s latest shin-cultures have overshadowed his earlier ones. And Nakata has several dozen casually eating away at his tissue. But the history of the Snark in the Solomons has mirrored the history of every ship since the early explorers. From the “Sailing Directions,” I quote the following:

“The crews of vessels remaining any considerable time in the Solomons find wounds and sores liable to change into malignant ulcers.”

“The crews of ships that stay for a significant time in the Solomons often find that wounds and sores can turn into severe ulcers.”

Nor on the question of fever were the “Sailing Directions” any more encouraging, for in them I read:

Nor were the “Sailing Directions” any more reassuring on the issue of fever, as I read:

“New arrivals are almost certain sooner or later to suffer from fever. The natives are also subject to it. The number of deaths among the whites in the year 1897 amounted to 9 among a population of 50.”

“New arrivals are almost guaranteed to experience fever sooner or later. The locals are also at risk. In 1897, the death toll among the white population reached 9 out of 50.”

Some of these deaths, however, were accidental.

Some of these deaths, however, were accidental.

Nakata was the first to come down with fever. This occurred at Penduffryn. Wada and Henry followed him. Charmian surrendered next. I managed to escape for a couple of months; but when I was bowled over, Martin sympathetically joined me several days later. Out of the seven of us all told Tehei is the only one who has escaped; but his sufferings from nostalgia are worse than fever. Nakata, as usual, followed instructions faithfully, so that by the end of his third attack he could take a two hours’ sweat, consume thirty or forty grains of quinine, and be weak but all right at the end of twenty-four hours.

Nakata was the first to come down with a fever. This happened at Penduffryn. Wada and Henry followed suit. Charmian went down next. I managed to dodge it for a couple of months, but when it finally hit me, Martin sympathetically joined me a few days later. Out of the seven of us, Tehei is the only one who has escaped, but his struggle with homesickness is worse than the fever. Nakata, as always, followed instructions faithfully, so by the end of his third bout, he could endure a two-hour sweat, take thirty or forty grains of quinine, and be weak but okay after twenty-four hours.

Wada and Henry, however, were tougher patients with which to deal. In the first place, Wada got in a bad funk. He was of the firm conviction that his star had set and that the Solomons would receive his bones. He saw that life about him was cheap. At Penduffryn he saw the ravages of dysentery, and, unfortunately for him, he saw one victim carried out on a strip of galvanized sheet-iron and dumped without coffin or funeral into a hole in the ground. Everybody had fever, everybody had dysentery, everybody had everything. Death was common. Here to-day and gone to-morrow—and Wada forgot all about to-day and made up his mind that to-morrow had come.

Wada and Henry, on the other hand, were tougher patients to handle. First of all, Wada fell into a deep depression. He was convinced that his luck had ran out and that the Solomons would end up with his remains. He noticed how worthless life around him seemed. At Penduffryn, he witnessed the destruction caused by dysentery and, unfortunately for him, he saw someone taken out on a piece of galvanized sheet metal and dumped without a coffin or funeral in a pit in the ground. Everyone was dealing with fever, everyone had dysentery, everyone was suffering. Death was everywhere. Here today, gone tomorrow—and Wada completely overlooked today and decided that tomorrow had already arrived.

He was careless of his ulcers, neglected to sublimate them, and by uncontrolled scratching spread them all over his body. Nor would he follow instructions with fever, and, as a result, would be down five days at a time, when a day would have been sufficient. Henry, who is a strapping giant of a man, was just as bad. He refused point blank to take quinine, on the ground that years before he had had fever and that the pills the doctor gave him were of different size and colour from the quinine tablets I offered him. So Henry joined Wada.

He didn't pay any attention to his ulcers, ignored the need to treat them properly, and by scratching them without control, he spread them all over his body. He also wouldn't follow the instructions during his fever and ended up being sick for five days when he could have recovered in just one. Henry, a big, strong guy, was just as bad. He flat out refused to take quinine, claiming that years ago he had fever and the pills the doctor gave him were a different size and color than the quinine tablets I offered. So, Henry ended up joining Wada.

But I fooled the pair of them, and dosed them with their own medicine, which was faith-cure. They had faith in their funk that they were going to die. I slammed a lot of quinine down their throats and took their temperature. It was the first time I had used my medicine-chest thermometer, and I quickly discovered that it was worthless, that it had been produced for profit and not for service. If I had let on to my two patients that the thermometer did not work, there would have been two funerals in short order. Their temperature I swear was 105°. I solemnly made one and then the other smoke the thermometer, allowed an expression of satisfaction to irradiate my countenance, and joyfully told them that their temperature was 94°. Then I slammed more quinine down their throats, told them that any sickness or weakness they might experience would be due to the quinine, and left them to get well. And they did get well, Wada in spite of himself. If a man can die through a misapprehension, is there any immorality in making him live through a misapprehension?

But I tricked both of them and gave them a taste of their own medicine, which was faith healing. They believed so strongly that they were going to die. I force-fed them a lot of quinine and took their temperature. It was the first time I had used my medicine chest thermometer, and I quickly found out that it was useless, made for profit instead of use. If I had let my two patients know that the thermometer didn’t work, there would have been two funerals in no time. Their temperature, I swear, was 105°. I solemnly had each of them smoke the thermometer, allowed a satisfied look to spread across my face, and joyfully told them their temperature was 94°. Then I force-fed them more quinine, told them any sickness or weakness they felt was just from the quinine, and left them to recover. And they actually did, Wada despite himself. If a man can die from a misunderstanding, is it really wrong to let him live through one?

Commend me the white race when it comes to grit and surviving. One of our two Japanese and both our Tahitians funked and had to be slapped on the back and cheered up and dragged along by main strength toward life. Charmian and Martin took their afflictions cheerfully, made the least of them, and moved with calm certitude along the way of life. When Wada and Henry were convinced that they were going to die, the funeral atmosphere was too much for Tehei, who prayed dolorously and cried for hours at a time. Martin, on the other hand, cursed and got well, and Charmian groaned and made plans for what she was going to do when she got well again.

Praise the white race for their resilience and ability to survive. One of our two Japanese friends and both of our Tahitians got down and needed to be encouraged and supported with sheer determination to keep on living. Charmian and Martin faced their struggles positively, minimized their issues, and moved with calm confidence along the path of life. When Wada and Henry believed they were going to die, the somber atmosphere overwhelmed Tehei, who prayed mournfully and cried for hours. Martin, on the other hand, vented his frustration and recovered, while Charmian expressed her discomfort and made plans for what she would do once she got better.

Charmian had been raised a vegetarian and a sanitarian. Her Aunt Netta, who brought her up and who lived in a healthful climate, did not believe in drugs. Neither did Charmian. Besides, drugs disagreed with her. Their effects were worse than the ills they were supposed to alleviate. But she listened to the argument in favour of quinine, accepted it as the lesser evil, and in consequence had shorter, less painful, and less frequent attacks of fever. We encountered a Mr. Caulfeild, a missionary, whose two predecessors had died after less than six months’ residence in the Solomons. Like them he had been a firm believer in homeopathy, until after his first fever, whereupon, unlike them, he made a grand slide back to allopathy and quinine, catching fever and carrying on his Gospel work.

Charmian was raised vegetarian and focused on health. Her Aunt Netta, who raised her and lived in a healthy environment, didn’t believe in medication. Charmian felt the same way. Besides, medications didn’t sit well with her. Their side effects were often worse than the issues they were meant to treat. However, she considered the argument for quinine, accepted it as the lesser of two evils, and as a result, experienced shorter, less painful, and less frequent bouts of fever. We ran into a Mr. Caulfeild, a missionary, whose two predecessors had died after less than six months in the Solomons. Like them, he strongly believed in homeopathy until he caught fever for the first time; unlike them, he then made a complete switch to allopathy and quinine, continuing his Gospel work despite getting sick again.

But poor Wada! The straw that broke the cook’s back was when Charmian and I took him along on a cruise to the cannibal island of Malaita, in a small yacht, on the deck of which the captain had been murdered half a year before. Kai-kai means to eat, and Wada was sure he was going to be kai-kai’d. We went about heavily armed, our vigilance was unremitting, and when we went for a bath in the mouth of a fresh-water stream, black boys, armed with rifles, did sentry duty about us. We encountered English war vessels burning and shelling villages in punishment for murders. Natives with prices on their heads sought shelter on board of us. Murder stalked abroad in the land. In out-of-the-way places we received warnings from friendly savages of impending attacks. Our vessel owed two heads to Malaita, which were liable to be collected any time. Then to cap it all, we were wrecked on a reef, and with rifles in one hand warned the canoes of wreckers off while with the other hand we toiled to save the ship. All of which was too much for Wada, who went daffy, and who finally quitted the Snark on the island of Ysabel, going ashore for good in a driving rain-storm, between two attacks of fever, while threatened with pneumonia. If he escapes being kai-kai’d, and if he can survive sores and fever which are riotous ashore, he can expect, if he is reasonably lucky, to get away from that place to the adjacent island in anywhere from six to eight weeks. He never did think much of my medicine, despite the fact that I successfully and at the first trial pulled two aching teeth for him.

But poor Wada! The final straw for him was when Charmian and I took him on a cruise to the cannibal island of Malaita in a small yacht, where the captain had been killed just six months before. Kai-kai means to eat, and Wada was convinced he was going to be kai-kai’d. We went about heavily armed, always on alert, and when we took a bath at the mouth of a fresh-water stream, Black boys with rifles stood guard around us. We saw English warships burning and shelling villages as punishment for murders. Natives with bounties on their heads sought refuge on our boat. Murder was rampant in the land. In remote areas, friendly tribes warned us of possible attacks. Our vessel owed two heads to Malaita, which could be claimed at any moment. Then, to top it all off, we got wrecked on a reef, and while holding rifles in one hand to warn off would-be looters in canoes, we used the other hand to try to save the ship. All of this was too much for Wada, who lost his mind and finally left the Snark on the island of Ysabel, going ashore for good in a heavy rainstorm, battling two bouts of fever, and at risk for pneumonia. If he escapes being kai-kai’d, and if he can survive the sores and fever that run rampant on land, he might, if he’s somewhat lucky, be able to get off that island to the neighboring one in about six to eight weeks. He never really thought much of my medicine, even though I successfully pulled two of his aching teeth on the first try.

The Snark has been a hospital for months, and I confess that we are getting used to it. At Meringe Lagoon, where we careened and cleaned the Snark’s copper, there were times when only one man of us was able to go into the water, while the three white men on the plantation ashore were all down with fever. At the moment of writing this we are lost at sea somewhere northeast of Ysabel and trying vainly to find Lord Howe Island, which is an atoll that cannot be sighted unless one is on top of it. The chronometer has gone wrong. The sun does not shine anyway, nor can I get a star observation at night, and we have had nothing but squalls and rain for days and days. The cook is gone. Nakata, who has been trying to be both cook and cabin boy, is down on his back with fever. Martin is just up from fever, and going down again. Charmian, whose fever has become periodical, is looking up in her date book to find when the next attack will be. Henry has begun to eat quinine in an expectant mood. And, since my attacks hit me with the suddenness of bludgeon-blows I do not know from moment to moment when I shall be brought down. By a mistake we gave our last flour away to some white men who did not have any flour. We don’t know when we’ll make land. Our Solomon sores are worse than ever, and more numerous. The corrosive sublimate was accidentally left ashore at Penduffryn; the peroxide of hydrogen is exhausted; and I am experimenting with boracic acid, lysol, and antiphlogystine. At any rate, if I fail in becoming a reputable M.D., it won’t be from lack of practice.

The Snark has been stuck in this situation for months, and I admit we’re starting to get used to it. At Meringe Lagoon, where we careened and cleaned the Snark’s copper, there were times when only one of us could get into the water, while the three white men on the plantation were all suffering from fever. As I write this, we are lost at sea somewhere northeast of Ysabel, trying unsuccessfully to find Lord Howe Island, which is an atoll that can only be seen if you're directly above it. The chronometer is broken. The sun hasn’t been shining, and I can’t get a star observation at night, and we’ve had nothing but squalls and rain for days. The cook is gone. Nakata, who has been juggling both cooking and cabin duties, is now flat on his back with fever. Martin is just recovering from his fever and seems to be heading back down. Charmian, whose fever has become regular, is checking her date book to see when the next attack will hit. Henry has started taking quinine with anticipation. And since my attacks come upon me as suddenly as being hit with a club, I can’t predict when I’ll be struck down. By mistake, we gave our last flour away to some white men who were out of flour. We have no idea when we’ll see land again. Our Solomon sores are worse than ever and more numerous. The corrosive sublimate was accidentally left behind at Penduffryn; the hydrogen peroxide is all used up; and I’m experimenting with boracic acid, lysol, and antiphlogystine. At this point, if I don’t become a reputable M.D., it won’t be for lack of practice.

P.S. It is now two weeks since the foregoing was written, and Tehei, the only immune on board has been down ten days with far severer fever than any of us and is still down. His temperature has been repeatedly as high as 104, and his pulse 115.

P.S. It's been two weeks since the previous entry was written, and Tehei, the only person immune on board, has been sick for ten days with a much worse fever than any of us and is still not better. His temperature has consistently reached as high as 104, and his pulse is at 115.

P.S. At sea, between Tasman atoll and Manning Straits. Tehei’s attack developed into black water fever—the severest form of malarial fever, which, the doctor-book assures me, is due to some outside infection as well. Having pulled him through his fever, I am now at my wit’s end, for he has lost his wits altogether. I am rather recent in practice to take up the cure of insanity. This makes the second lunacy case on this short voyage.

P.S. At sea, between Tasman atoll and Manning Straits. Tehei’s attack turned into black water fever—the worst kind of malaria, which, according to the medical book, is also linked to some external infection. After getting him through the fever, I’m now at a loss because he’s completely lost his mind. I’m still relatively new to dealing with cases of insanity. This is the second case of madness on this short journey.

P.S. Some day I shall write a book (for the profession), and entitle it, “Around the World on the Hospital Ship Snark.” Even our pets have not escaped. We sailed from Meringe Lagoon with two, an Irish terrier and a white cockatoo. The terrier fell down the cabin companionway and lamed its nigh hind leg, then repeated the manœuvre and lamed its off fore leg. At the present moment it has but two legs to walk on. Fortunately, they are on opposite sides and ends, so that she can still dot and carry two. The cockatoo was crushed under the cabin skylight and had to be killed. This was our first funeral—though for that matter, the several chickens we had, and which would have made welcome broth for the convalescents, flew overboard and were drowned. Only the cockroaches flourish. Neither illness nor accident ever befalls them, and they grow larger and more carnivorous day by day, gnawing our finger-nails and toe-nails while we sleep.

P.S. Someday I’ll write a book (for the profession) and call it “Around the World on the Hospital Ship Snark.” Even our pets haven’t been spared. We left Meringe Lagoon with two: an Irish terrier and a white cockatoo. The terrier fell down the cabin stairs and hurt its back leg, then did it again and hurt its front leg. Right now, it can only walk on two legs. Luckily, they are on opposite sides, so she can still get around. The cockatoo was crushed under the cabin skylight and had to be put down. This was our first funeral—although, to be fair, the several chickens we had, which would have made great broth for the sick, flew overboard and drowned. Only the cockroaches are thriving. They never get sick or hurt, and they grow bigger and more aggressive every day, nibbling on our fingernails and toenails while we sleep.

P.S. Charmian is having another bout with fever. Martin, in despair, has taken to horse-doctoring his yaws with bluestone and to blessing the Solomons. As for me, in addition to navigating, doctoring, and writing short stories, I am far from well. With the exception of the insanity cases, I’m the worst off on board. I shall catch the next steamer to Australia and go on the operating table. Among my minor afflictions, I may mention a new and mysterious one. For the past week my hands have been swelling as with dropsy. It is only by a painful effort that I can close them. A pull on a rope is excruciating. The sensations are like those that accompany severe chilblains. Also, the skin is peeling off both hands at an alarming rate, besides which the new skin underneath is growing hard and thick. The doctor-book fails to mention this disease. Nobody knows what it is.

P.S. Charmian is dealing with another fever episode. Martin, feeling hopeless, has started treating his yaws with bluestone and praying for the Solomons. As for me, in addition to navigating, treating injuries, and writing short stories, I'm not doing well at all. Except for the people with mental illness, I'm the worst off on the ship. I plan to catch the next steamer to Australia and get surgery. Among my less serious problems, I should mention a new and strange one. For the past week, my hands have been swelling like I have dropsy. It's a real struggle to close them. Pulling on a rope is excruciating. The sensations feel similar to severe chilblains. Plus, the skin is peeling off both hands at a concerning rate, and the new skin underneath is getting hard and thick. The medical book doesn't mention this condition. No one knows what it is.

P.S. Well, anyway, I’ve cured the chronometer. After knocking about the sea for eight squally, rainy days, most of the time hove to, I succeeded in catching a partial observation of the sun at midday. From this I worked up my latitude, then headed by log to the latitude of Lord Howe, and ran both that latitude and the island down together. Here I tested the chronometer by longitude sights and found it something like three minutes out. Since each minute is equivalent to fifteen miles, the total error can be appreciated. By repeated observations at Lord Howe I rated the chronometer, finding it to have a daily losing error of seven-tenths of a second. Now it happens that a year ago, when we sailed from Hawaii, that selfsame chronometer had that selfsame losing error of seven-tenths of a second. Since that error was faithfully added every day, and since that error, as proved by my observations at Lord Howe, has not changed, then what under the sun made that chronometer all of a sudden accelerate and catch up with itself three minutes? Can such things be? Expert watchmakers say no; but I say that they have never done any expert watch-making and watch-rating in the Solomons. That it is the climate is my only diagnosis. At any rate, I have successfully doctored the chronometer, even if I have failed with the lunacy cases and with Martin’s yaws.

P.S. Anyway, I’ve fixed the chronometer. After being at sea for eight stormy, rainy days, most of the time anchored, I managed to get a partial observation of the sun at midday. From this, I calculated my latitude, then navigated by the log to the latitude of Lord Howe, tracking both that latitude and the island. Here, I checked the chronometer using longitude sights and found it to be about three minutes off. Since each minute equals fifteen miles, the total error is significant. By taking repeated observations at Lord Howe, I determined that the chronometer has a daily losing error of seven-tenths of a second. Interestingly, a year ago, when we left Hawaii, that same chronometer had that same losing error of seven-tenths of a second. Since that error added up each day and, as shown by my observations at Lord Howe, hasn’t changed, what on earth caused that chronometer to suddenly speed up and gain three minutes? Is that possible? Experts say no; but I believe they’ve never really done expert watch-making and rating in the Solomons. I think it’s the climate—that's my only conclusion. Either way, I’ve managed to fix the chronometer, even if I didn’t succeed with the madness cases or with Martin’s yaws.

P.S. Martin has just tried burnt alum, and is blessing the Solomons more fervently than ever.

P.S. Martin just tried burnt alum and is praising the Solomons more passionately than ever.

P.S. Between Manning Straits and Pavuvu Islands.

P.S. Between Manning Straits and Pavuvu Islands.

Henry has developed rheumatism in his back, ten skins have peeled off my hands and the eleventh is now peeling, while Tehei is more lunatic than ever and day and night prays God not to kill him. Also, Nakata and I are slashing away at fever again. And finally up to date, Nakata last evening had an attack of ptomaine poisoning, and we spent half the night pulling him through.

Henry has developed back pain from rheumatism, I've lost ten layers of skin from my hands, and the eleventh is starting to peel as well. Tehei is crazier than ever, praying day and night for God not to take his life. Nakata and I are battling a fever again. And to top it all off, last night Nakata had a bad case of food poisoning, and we spent half the night helping him recover.

BACKWORD

The Snark was forty-three feet on the water-line and fifty-five over all, with fifteen feet beam (tumble-home sides) and seven feet eight inches draught. She was ketch-rigged, carrying flying-jib, jib, fore-staysail, main-sail, mizzen, and spinnaker. There were six feet of head-room below, and she was crown-decked and flush-decked. There were four alleged water-tight compartments. A seventy-horse power auxiliary gas-engine sporadically furnished locomotion at an approximate cost of twenty dollars per mile. A five-horse power engine ran the pumps when it was in order, and on two occasions proved capable of furnishing juice for the search-light. The storage batteries worked four or five times in the course of two years. The fourteen-foot launch was rumoured to work at times, but it invariably broke down whenever I stepped on board.

The Snark was forty-three feet long on the waterline and fifty-five feet overall, with a fifteen-foot beam (tumble-home sides) and a draft of seven feet eight inches. She was ketch-rigged, equipped with a flying jib, jib, fore staysail, mainsail, mizzen, and spinnaker. There was six feet of headroom below deck, and she had a crown-deck and flush-deck design. She had four so-called water-tight compartments. A seventy-horsepower auxiliary gas engine occasionally provided movement at an estimated cost of twenty dollars per mile. A five-horsepower engine powered the pumps when it worked, and on two occasions, it was able to supply power for the searchlight. The storage batteries operated four or five times over two years. The fourteen-foot launch was said to work at times, but it always broke down whenever I stepped on board.

But the Snark sailed. It was the only way she could get anywhere. She sailed for two years, and never touched rock, reef, nor shoal. She had no inside ballast, her iron keel weighed five tons, but her deep draught and high freeboard made her very stiff. Caught under full sail in tropic squalls, she buried her rail and deck many times, but stubbornly refused to turn turtle. She steered easily, and she could run day and night, without steering, close-by, full-and-by, and with the wind abeam. With the wind on her quarter and the sails properly trimmed, she steered herself within two points, and with the wind almost astern she required scarcely three points for self-steering.

But the Snark sailed. It was the only way she could get anywhere. She sailed for two years without hitting rock, reef, or shoal. She had no inside ballast; her iron keel weighed five tons, but her deep draught and high freeboard made her very stiff. Caught under full sail in tropical squalls, she buried her rail and deck many times, but stubbornly refused to capsize. She steered easily, and she could run day and night without steering, close by, full-and-by, and with the wind at her side. With the wind behind her and the sails trimmed right, she steered herself within two points, and with the wind almost directly behind her, she needed barely three points for self-steering.

The Snark was partly built in San Francisco. The morning her iron keel was to be cast was the morning of the great earthquake. Then came anarchy. Six months overdue in the building, I sailed the shell of her to Hawaii to be finished, the engine lashed to the bottom, building materials lashed on deck. Had I remained in San Francisco for completion, I’d still be there. As it was, partly built, she cost four times what she ought to have cost.

The Snark was partially constructed in San Francisco. The morning they were set to cast her iron keel was the same morning as the major earthquake. After that, everything fell apart. Six months behind schedule with the construction, I sailed her incomplete to Hawaii to finish the work, with the engine secured to the bottom and building materials strapped on deck. If I had stayed in San Francisco to complete her, I’d still be there. As it was, being only partly built, she ended up costing four times what she should have.

The Snark was born unfortunately. She was libelled in San Francisco, had her cheques protested as fraudulent in Hawaii, and was fined for breach of quarantine in the Solomons. To save themselves, the newspapers could not tell the truth about her. When I discharged an incompetent captain, they said I had beaten him to a pulp. When one young man returned home to continue at college, it was reported that I was a regular Wolf Larsen, and that my whole crew had deserted because I had beaten it to a pulp. In fact the only blow struck on the Snark was when the cook was manhandled by a captain who had shipped with me under false pretences, and whom I discharged in Fiji. Also, Charmian and I boxed for exercise; but neither of us was seriously maimed.

The Snark had a rough start. She was sued in San Francisco, her checks were deemed fraudulent in Hawaii, and she was fined for breaking quarantine in the Solomons. To protect themselves, the newspapers couldn’t report the truth about her. When I fired an incompetent captain, they claimed I had beaten him severely. When one young man returned home to continue his studies, it was reported that I was a true Wolf Larsen and that my entire crew had deserted because I had beaten them up. In reality, the only blow dealt on the Snark was when the cook was mishandled by a captain who had come aboard under false pretenses, and whom I let go in Fiji. Additionally, Charmian and I sparred for exercise, but neither of us was seriously hurt.

The voyage was our idea of a good time. I built the Snark and paid for it, and for all expenses. I contracted to write thirty-five thousand words descriptive of the trip for a magazine which was to pay me the same rate I received for stories written at home. Promptly the magazine advertised that it was sending me especially around the world for itself. It was a wealthy magazine. And every man who had business dealings with the Snark charged three prices because forsooth the magazine could afford it. Down in the uttermost South Sea isle this myth obtained, and I paid accordingly. To this day everybody believes that the magazine paid for everything and that I made a fortune out of the voyage. It is hard, after such advertising, to hammer it into the human understanding that the whole voyage was done for the fun of it.

The trip was our idea of a good time. I built the Snark and paid for it, along with all the expenses. I agreed to write thirty-five thousand words describing the journey for a magazine that would pay me the same rate I got for stories written at home. The magazine quickly advertised that it was sending me around the world just for them. It was a wealthy magazine. And every person I dealt with on the Snark charged me triple because, apparently, the magazine could afford it. Even on the farthest South Sea island, this myth spread, and I paid accordingly. To this day, everyone thinks that the magazine covered everything and that I made a fortune from the trip. It’s tough, after such publicity, to get people to understand that the whole journey was just for fun.

I went to Australia to go into hospital, where I spent five weeks. I spent five months miserably sick in hotels. The mysterious malady that afflicted my hands was too much for the Australian specialists. It was unknown in the literature of medicine. No case like it had ever been reported. It extended from my hands to my feet so that at times I was as helpless as a child. On occasion my hands were twice their natural size, with seven dead and dying skins peeling off at the same time. There were times when my toe-nails, in twenty-four hours, grew as thick as they were long. After filing them off, inside another twenty-four hours they were as thick as before.

I went to Australia to go to the hospital, where I spent five weeks. I spent five months feeling miserably sick in hotels. The strange illness affecting my hands was too much for the Australian doctors. It wasn’t mentioned in any medical literature. No similar case had ever been reported. It spread from my hands to my feet, making me feel as helpless as a child at times. Sometimes, my hands would swell to twice their normal size, with seven layers of dead and peeling skin at once. There were times when my toenails would grow as thick as they were long in just twenty-four hours. After filing them down, they would be back to their thick state within another twenty-four hours.

The Australian specialists agreed that the malady was non-parasitic, and that, therefore, it must be nervous. It did not mend, and it was impossible for me to continue the voyage. The only way I could have continued it would have been by being lashed in my bunk, for in my helpless condition, unable to clutch with my hands, I could not have moved about on a small rolling boat. Also, I said to myself that while there were many boats and many voyages, I had but one pair of hands and one set of toe-nails. Still further, I reasoned that in my own climate of California I had always maintained a stable nervous equilibrium. So back I came.

The Australian specialists agreed that the condition was non-parasitic, and therefore must be related to the nervous system. It didn’t improve, and I couldn’t continue the voyage. The only way I could have carried on would have been if I were tied down in my bunk, because in my helpless state, unable to grip anything with my hands, I couldn’t move around on a small, rocking boat. Plus, I reminded myself that while there were many boats and many journeys, I only had one pair of hands and one set of toenails. I further reasoned that in my home state of California, I had always maintained a stable nervous balance. So, I decided to return.

Since my return I have completely recovered. And I have found out what was the matter with me. I encountered a book by Lieutenant-Colonel Charles E. Woodruff of the United States Army entitled “Effects of Tropical Light on White Men.” Then I knew. Later, I met Colonel Woodruff, and learned that he had been similarly afflicted. Himself an Army surgeon, seventeen Army surgeons sat on his case in the Philippines, and, like the Australian specialists, confessed themselves beaten. In brief, I had a strong predisposition toward the tissue-destructiveness of tropical light. I was being torn to pieces by the ultra-violet rays just as many experimenters with the X-ray have been torn to pieces.

Since I got back, I've fully recovered. I figured out what was wrong with me after coming across a book by Lieutenant-Colonel Charles E. Woodruff of the United States Army called “Effects of Tropical Light on White Men.” Then it all clicked. Later, I met Colonel Woodruff and found out he had faced similar issues. As an Army surgeon, he had seventeen other Army surgeons evaluate his case in the Philippines, and like the Australian specialists, they admitted they were stumped. Basically, I had a strong susceptibility to the tissue damage caused by tropical light. I was being harmed by ultra-violet rays just like many researchers experimenting with X-rays have been harmed.

In passing, I may mention that among the other afflictions that jointly compelled the abandonment of the voyage, was one that is variously called the healthy man’s disease, European Leprosy, and Biblical Leprosy. Unlike True Leprosy, nothing is known of this mysterious malady. No doctor has ever claimed a cure for a case of it, though spontaneous cures are recorded. It comes, they know not how. It is, they know not what. It goes, they know not why. Without the use of drugs, merely by living in the wholesome California climate, my silvery skin vanished. The only hope the doctors had held out to me was a spontaneous cure, and such a cure was mine.

In passing, I should mention that among the other reasons that led to the abandonment of the voyage was one that is variously known as the healthy man's disease, European Leprosy, and Biblical Leprosy. Unlike True Leprosy, nothing is known about this mysterious illness. No doctor has ever claimed to cure a case of it, although spontaneous recoveries are reported. It appears without anyone knowing how. It is a mystery in itself. It disappears, and no one knows why. Without using any medication, just by living in the healthy California climate, my silvery skin faded away. The only hope the doctors had offered me was a spontaneous recovery, and that’s exactly what I experienced.

A last word: the test of the voyage. It is easy enough for me or any man to say that it was enjoyable. But there is a better witness, the one woman who made it from beginning to end. In hospital when I broke the news to Charmian that I must go back to California, the tears welled into her eyes. For two days she was wrecked and broken by the knowledge that the happy, happy voyage was abandoned.

A final thought: the true test of the journey. It’s simple for me or anyone to claim that it was enjoyable. But there’s a better witness, the one woman who experienced it from start to finish. When I told Charmian in the hospital that I had to return to California, tears filled her eyes. For two days, she was devastated and heartbroken by the realization that the joyful journey was over.

Glen Ellen, California,
     April 7, 1911.

Glen Ellen, California, April 7, 1911.

FOOTNOTES

[268] To point out that we of the Snark are not a crowd of weaklings, which might be concluded from our divers afflictions, I quote the following, which I gleaned verbatim from the Eugenie’s log and which may be considered as a sample of Solomon Islands cruising:

[268] To emphasize that we of the Snark are not a bunch of weaklings, despite our various struggles, I’ll share the following excerpt, which I took directly from the Eugenie’s log and can be seen as a typical example of cruising in the Solomon Islands:

Ulava, Thursday, March 12, 1908.

Ulava, Thurs, Mar 12, 1908.

Boat went ashore in the morning. Got two loads ivory nut, 4000 copra. Skipper down with fever.

Boat landed in the morning. Collected two loads of ivory nut and 4,000 copra. The skipper is down with a fever.

Ulava, Friday, March 13, 1908.

Ulava, Friday, March 13, 1908.

Buying nuts from bushmen, 1½ ton. Mate and skipper down with fever.

Buying nuts from bushmen, 1½ tons. Mate and skipper are down with a fever.

Ulava, Saturday, March 14, 1908.

Ulava, Saturday, March 14, 1908.

At noon hove up and proceeded with a very light E.N.E. wind for Ngora-Ngora. Anchored in 5 fathoms—shell and coral. Mate down with fever.

At noon, we raised anchor and set off with a very light E.N.E. wind towards Ngora-Ngora. We anchored in 5 fathoms—shell and coral. The mate is down with a fever.

Ngora-Ngora, Sunday, March 15, 1908.

Ngora-Ngora, Sunday, March 15, 1908.

At daybreak found that the boy Bagua had died during the night, on dysentery. He was about 14 days sick. At sunset, big N.W. squall. (Second anchor ready) Lasting one hour and 30 minutes.

At daybreak, we discovered that the boy Bagua had died during the night from dysentery. He had been sick for about 14 days. At sunset, there was a big N.W. squall. (Second anchor ready) It lasted one hour and 30 minutes.

At sea, Monday, March 16, 1908.

At sea, March 16, 1908.

Set course for Sikiana at 4 P.M. Wind broke off. Heavy squalls during the night. Skipper down on dysentery, also one man.

Set course for Sikiana at 4 P.M. The wind died down. There were heavy squalls during the night. The skipper is down with dysentery, and so is one other crew member.

At sea, Tuesday, March 17, 1908.

At sea, Tuesday, March 17, 1908.

Skipper and 2 crew down on dysentery. Mate fever.

Skipper and 2 crew members are down with dysentery. The mate has a fever.

At sea, Wednesday, March 18, 1908.

At sea, Wednesday, March 18, 1908.

Big sea. Lee-rail under water all the time. Ship under reefed mainsail, staysail, and inner jib. Skipper and 3 men dysentery. Mate fever.

Big sea. Lee-rail underwater all the time. Ship under reefed mainsail, staysail, and inner jib. Skipper and 3 men have dysentery. Mate has a fever.

At sea, Thursday, March 19, 1908.

At sea, Thursday, March 19, 1908.

Too thick to see anything. Blowing a gale all the time. Pump plugged up and bailing with buckets. Skipper and five boys down on dysentery.

Too thick to see anything. It's blowing a gale all the time. The pump is clogged up, and we're bailing with buckets. The skipper and five boys are down with dysentery.

At sea, Friday, March 20, 1908.

At sea, Friday, March 20, 1908.

During night squalls with hurricane force. Skipper and six men down on dysentery.

During nighttime storms with hurricane-force winds, the captain and six crew members were suffering from dysentery.

At sea, Saturday, March 21, 1908.

At sea, Saturday, March 21, 1908.

Turned back from Sikiana. Squalls all day with heavy rain and sea. Skipper and best part of crew on dysentery. Mate fever.

Turned back from Sikiana. Storms all day with heavy rain and rough seas. The captain and most of the crew have dysentery. The first mate has a fever.

 

And so, day by day, with the majority of all on board prostrated, the Eugenie’s log goes on. The only variety occurred on March 31, when the mate came down with dysentery and the skipper was floored by fever.

And so, day by day, with most of the crew unable to get up, the Eugenie’s log continues. The only change happened on March 31, when the first mate got dysentery and the captain was hit hard by a fever.


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