This is a modern-English version of The Sorrows of Young Werther, originally written by Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE SORROWS OF YOUNG WERTHER



By J.W. von Goethe





Translated by R.D. Boylan

Edited by Nathen Haskell Dole















PREFACE

I have carefully collected whatever I have been able to learn of the story of poor Werther, and here present it to you, knowing that you will thank me for it. To his spirit and character you cannot refuse your admiration and love: to his fate you will not deny your tears.

I have carefully gathered everything I could learn about the story of poor Werther, and I'm sharing it with you, knowing that you'll appreciate it. You can't help but admire and love his spirit and character; you won't be able to hold back your tears for his fate.

And thou, good soul, who sufferest the same distress as he endured once, draw comfort from his sorrows; and let this little book be thy friend, if, owing to fortune or through thine own fault, thou canst not find a dearer companion.

And you, kind soul, who are going through the same pain he once felt, take comfort from his struggles; and let this little book be your friend, if, due to luck or your own mistakes, you can't find a closer companion.










BOOK I

MAY 4.

How happy I am that I am gone! My dear friend, what a thing is the heart of man! To leave you, from whom I have been inseparable, whom I love so dearly, and yet to feel happy! I know you will forgive me. Have not other attachments been specially appointed by fate to torment a head like mine? Poor Leonora! and yet I was not to blame. Was it my fault, that, whilst the peculiar charms of her sister afforded me an agreeable entertainment, a passion for me was engendered in her feeble heart? And yet am I wholly blameless? Did I not encourage her emotions? Did I not feel charmed at those truly genuine expressions of nature, which, though but little mirthful in reality, so often amused us? Did I not—but oh! what is man, that he dares so to accuse himself? My dear friend I promise you I will improve; I will no longer, as has ever been my habit, continue to ruminate on every petty vexation which fortune may dispense; I will enjoy the present, and the past shall be for me the past. No doubt you are right, my best of friends, there would be far less suffering amongst mankind, if men—and God knows why they are so fashioned—did not employ their imaginations so assiduously in recalling the memory of past sorrow, instead of bearing their present lot with equanimity. Be kind enough to inform my mother that I shall attend to her business to the best of my ability, and shall give her the earliest information about it. I have seen my aunt, and find that she is very far from being the disagreeable person our friends allege her to be. She is a lively, cheerful woman, with the best of hearts. I explained to her my mother's wrongs with regard to that part of her portion which has been withheld from her. She told me the motives and reasons of her own conduct, and the terms on which she is willing to give up the whole, and to do more than we have asked. In short, I cannot write further upon this subject at present; only assure my mother that all will go on well. And I have again observed, my dear friend, in this trifling affair, that misunderstandings and neglect occasion more mischief in the world than even malice and wickedness. At all events, the two latter are of less frequent occurrence.

How happy I am to be gone! My dear friend, what a thing the human heart is! To leave you, from whom I've been inseparable and whom I love dearly, and yet to feel happy! I know you will forgive me. Haven't other attachments been specifically designed by fate to torment someone like me? Poor Leonora! But I was not to blame. Was it my fault that, while the unique charm of her sister entertained me, a passion blossomed in her fragile heart? Yet am I completely blameless? Didn't I encourage her feelings? Didn't I feel captivated by those truly genuine expressions of emotion, which, though not very joyful in reality, often amused us? Did I not—but oh! what is man that he dares accuse himself so? My dear friend, I promise you I will improve; I will no longer, as I've always done, dwell on every little annoyance that fate throws my way; I will embrace the present, and the past will be in the past for me. No doubt you are right, my best friend, there would be far less suffering among people if they—and God knows why they are fashioned this way—didn't so diligently use their imaginations to relive past sorrows instead of accepting their current situation with calmness. Please be kind enough to let my mother know that I will handle her affairs to the best of my ability and will give her updates as soon as I can. I've seen my aunt, and I find that she is nothing like the unpleasant person our friends claim she is. She is a lively, cheerful woman with the kindest heart. I explained to her my mother's grievances regarding that portion of her inheritance that has been withheld. She shared her reasons for her actions and the terms on which she is willing to give up everything and do even more than we've asked. In short, I can't write about this any further at the moment; just assure my mother that everything will go well. I've also noted, my dear friend, in this minor issue, that misunderstandings and neglect cause more trouble in the world than malice and wickedness. At any rate, the latter are much less common.

In other respects I am very well off here. Solitude in this terrestrial paradise is a genial balm to my mind, and the young spring cheers with its bounteous promises my oftentimes misgiving heart. Every tree, every bush, is full of flowers; and one might wish himself transformed into a butterfly, to float about in this ocean of perfume, and find his whole existence in it.

In other ways, I'm really doing well here. The solitude in this earthly paradise is a soothing relief for my mind, and the young spring lifts my sometimes uncertain heart with its plentiful promises. Every tree, every bush, is bursting with flowers; and one might wish to be transformed into a butterfly, drifting around in this sea of perfume, finding their entire existence in it.

The town itself is disagreeable; but then, all around, you find an inexpressible beauty of nature. This induced the late Count M to lay out a garden on one of the sloping hills which here intersect each other with the most charming variety, and form the most lovely valleys. The garden is simple; and it is easy to perceive, even upon your first entrance, that the plan was not designed by a scientific gardener, but by a man who wished to give himself up here to the enjoyment of his own sensitive heart. Many a tear have I already shed to the memory of its departed master in a summer-house which is now reduced to ruins, but was his favourite resort, and now is mine. I shall soon be master of the place. The gardener has become attached to me within the last few days, and he will lose nothing thereby.

The town itself isn’t very nice, but all around, you can find an indescribable beauty in nature. This led the late Count M to create a garden on one of the sloping hills that intersect with a charming variety and form the prettiest valleys. The garden is simple, and you can tell right away that it wasn’t designed by a professional gardener, but by someone who wanted to enjoy his own sensitive feelings here. I have already shed many tears in memory of its former owner in a summer-house that has now fallen into ruins but was his favorite spot, and now it’s mine. Soon, I will be in charge of the place. The gardener has grown fond of me in the past few days, and he won’t lose anything because of it.

MAY 10.

MAY 10th.

A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the charm of existence in this spot, which was created for the bliss of souls like mine. I am so happy, my dear friend, so absorbed in the exquisite sense of mere tranquil existence, that I neglect my talents. I should be incapable of drawing a single stroke at the present moment; and yet I feel that I never was a greater artist than now. When, while the lovely valley teems with vapour around me, and the meridian sun strikes the upper surface of the impenetrable foliage of my trees, and but a few stray gleams steal into the inner sanctuary, I throw myself down among the tall grass by the trickling stream; and, as I lie close to the earth, a thousand unknown plants are noticed by me: when I hear the buzz of the little world among the stalks, and grow familiar with the countless indescribable forms of the insects and flies, then I feel the presence of the Almighty, who formed us in his own image, and the breath of that universal love which bears and sustains us, as it floats around us in an eternity of bliss; and then, my friend, when darkness overspreads my eyes, and heaven and earth seem to dwell in my soul and absorb its power, like the form of a beloved mistress, then I often think with longing, Oh, would I could describe these conceptions, could impress upon paper all that is living so full and warm within me, that it might be the mirror of my soul, as my soul is the mirror of the infinite God! O my friend—but it is too much for my strength—I sink under the weight of the splendour of these visions!

A wonderful calm has taken over my entire soul, like these sweet spring mornings that I enjoy with all my heart. I’m alone and I feel the beauty of existence in this place, which was made for the happiness of souls like mine. I am so happy, my dear friend, so wrapped up in the pure joy of simply being that I’ve neglected my talents. I wouldn’t be able to draw even a single line at this moment; yet, I feel like I’ve never been a better artist than I am right now. As the lovely valley fills with mist around me, and the midday sun shines down on the thick leaves of my trees, with only a few stray rays making their way into this inner sanctuary, I lie down in the tall grass by the gentle stream; and as I lie close to the earth, I notice a thousand unknown plants. When I hear the buzzing of the little world among the stalks and become familiar with the countless indescribable shapes of insects and flies, I feel the presence of the Almighty, who created us in His image, and the breath of that universal love that supports and nurtures us as it surrounds us in an eternity of bliss; and then, my friend, when darkness covers my eyes, and heaven and earth seem to reside in my soul and absorb its power, like the form of a beloved woman, I often think with longing, Oh, if only I could express these thoughts, if I could put on paper everything that is so alive and warm within me, so it might serve as the mirror of my soul, just as my soul is the mirror of the infinite God! Oh my friend—but it is too much for my strength—I am overwhelmed by the brilliance of these visions!

MAY 12.

MAY 12th.

I know not whether some deceitful spirits haunt this spot, or whether it be the warm, celestial fancy in my own heart which makes everything around me seem like paradise. In front of the house is a fountain,—a fountain to which I am bound by a charm like Melusina and her sisters. Descending a gentle slope, you come to an arch, where, some twenty steps lower down, water of the clearest crystal gushes from the marble rock. The narrow wall which encloses it above, the tall trees which encircle the spot, and the coolness of the place itself,—everything imparts a pleasant but sublime impression. Not a day passes on which I do not spend an hour there. The young maidens come from the town to fetch water,—innocent and necessary employment, and formerly the occupation of the daughters of kings. As I take my rest there, the idea of the old patriarchal life is awakened around me. I see them, our old ancestors, how they formed their friendships and contracted alliances at the fountain-side; and I feel how fountains and streams were guarded by beneficent spirits. He who is a stranger to these sensations has never really enjoyed cool repose at the side of a fountain after the fatigue of a weary summer day.

I don't know if some deceitful spirits haunt this place, or if it's the warm, heavenly feeling in my own heart that makes everything around me seem like paradise. In front of the house is a fountain—a fountain to which I'm bound by a charm like Melusina and her sisters. Descending a gentle slope, you reach an arch, where, about twenty steps down, clear, sparkling water gushes from the marble rock. The narrow wall that encloses it above, the tall trees that surround the area, and the coolness of the place itself—everything creates a pleasant yet profound impression. Not a day goes by that I don't spend an hour there. Young women come from the town to fetch water—an innocent and essential task that was once the job of royal daughters. As I rest there, the idea of old patriarchal life comes to life around me. I can see our ancestors forming friendships and making alliances by the fountain, and I sense how fountains and streams were protected by benevolent spirits. Anyone who has never felt these sensations has never truly enjoyed the cool peace by a fountain after a tiring summer day.

MAY 13.

MAY 13th.

You ask if you shall send me books. My dear friend, I beseech you, for the love of God, relieve me from such a yoke! I need no more to be guided, agitated, heated. My heart ferments sufficiently of itself. I want strains to lull me, and I find them to perfection in my Homer. Often do I strive to allay the burning fever of my blood; and you have never witnessed anything so unsteady, so uncertain, as my heart. But need I confess this to you, my dear friend, who have so often endured the anguish of witnessing my sudden transitions from sorrow to immoderate joy, and from sweet melancholy to violent passions? I treat my poor heart like a sick child, and gratify its every fancy. Do not mention this again: there are people who would censure me for it.

You ask if you should send me books. My dear friend, I beg you, for the love of God, spare me from such a burden! I don’t need to be led, stirred up, or heated anymore. My heart is already restless enough on its own. I want soothing melodies, and I find them perfectly in my Homer. I often try to calm the burning fever in my blood; and you've never seen anything so unstable, so unpredictable, as my heart. But do I really need to admit this to you, my dear friend, who has often endured the pain of watching my sudden shifts from sadness to overwhelming joy, and from sweet melancholy to intense passion? I treat my poor heart like a sick child, indulging all its whims. Please don’t bring this up again: there are people who would judge me for it.

MAY 15.

MAY 15.

The common people of the place know me already, and love me, particularly the children. When at first I associated with them, and inquired in a friendly tone about their various trifles, some fancied that I wished to ridicule them, and turned from me in exceeding ill-humour. I did not allow that circumstance to grieve me: I only felt most keenly what I have often before observed. Persons who can claim a certain rank keep themselves coldly aloof from the common people, as though they feared to lose their importance by the contact; whilst wanton idlers, and such as are prone to bad joking, affect to descend to their level, only to make the poor people feel their impertinence all the more keenly.

The local people know me well and like me, especially the kids. When I first started hanging out with them and asked about their little concerns in a friendly way, some thought I was trying to make fun of them and turned away in a huff. I didn't let that bother me too much; I was just reminded of something I've noticed before. People in higher social ranks often keep their distance from the common folks, as if they're afraid of losing their status by mingling. Meanwhile, those who are lazy and enjoy making bad jokes only pretend to lower themselves to the common people's level, just to highlight their rudeness even more.

I know very well that we are not all equal, nor can be so; but it is my opinion that he who avoids the common people, in order not to lose their respect, is as much to blame as a coward who hides himself from his enemy because he fears defeat.

I know very well that we are not all equal, nor can we be; but I believe that someone who avoids the common people to maintain their respect is just as blameworthy as a coward who hides from their enemy out of fear of losing.

The other day I went to the fountain, and found a young servant-girl, who had set her pitcher on the lowest step, and looked around to see if one of her companions was approaching to place it on her head. I ran down, and looked at her. "Shall I help you, pretty lass?" said I. She blushed deeply. "Oh, sir!" she exclaimed. "No ceremony!" I replied. She adjusted her head-gear, and I helped her. She thanked me, and ascended the steps.

The other day I went to the fountain and saw a young servant girl who had set her pitcher on the lowest step, looking around to see if one of her friends was coming to help her put it on her head. I hurried down and looked at her. "Can I help you, pretty girl?" I said. She blushed deeply. "Oh, sir!" she replied. "No need for formalities!" I said. She fixed her headscarf, and I assisted her. She thanked me and climbed the steps.

MAY 17.

MAY 17th.

I have made all sorts of acquaintances, but have as yet found no society. I know not what attraction I possess for the people, so many of them like me, and attach themselves to me; and then I feel sorry when the road we pursue together goes only a short distance. If you inquire what the people are like here, I must answer, "The same as everywhere." The human race is but a monotonous affair. Most of them labour the greater part of their time for mere subsistence; and the scanty portion of freedom which remains to them so troubles them that they use every exertion to get rid of it. Oh, the destiny of man!

I've made all kinds of acquaintances, but I still haven't found any true community. I don't know what it is about me that makes so many people like me and want to be around me, and then I feel sad when the journey we take together only lasts a short while. If you ask what the people are like here, I have to say, "They're the same as everywhere else." Humanity is just one big monotony. Most people spend the majority of their time working just to get by, and the little bit of freedom they have bothers them so much that they do everything they can to escape it. Oh, the fate of man!

But they are a right good sort of people. If I occasionally forget myself, and take part in the innocent pleasures which are not yet forbidden to the peasantry, and enjoy myself, for instance, with genuine freedom and sincerity, round a well-covered table, or arrange an excursion or a dance opportunely, and so forth, all this produces a good effect upon my disposition; only I must forget that there lie dormant within me so many other qualities which moulder uselessly, and which I am obliged to keep carefully concealed. Ah! this thought affects my spirits fearfully. And yet to be misunderstood is the fate of the like of us.

But they are really good people. If I sometimes let loose and join in the innocent fun that isn’t yet off-limits to the common folks, and enjoy myself, for example, having a blast around a well-set table, or planning a trip or a dance when the time is right, it really lifts my mood; I just have to remember that there are so many other qualities inside me that lie dormant and go to waste, and which I have to keep hidden. Ah! That thought really weighs on my spirits. And yet, being misunderstood is just part of life for people like us.

Alas, that the friend of my youth is gone! Alas, that I ever knew her! I might say to myself, "You are a dreamer to seek what is not to be found here below." But she has been mine. I have possessed that heart, that noble soul, in whose presence I seemed to be more than I really was, because I was all that I could be. Good heavens! did then a single power of my soul remain unexercised? In her presence could I not display, to its full extent, that mysterious feeling with which my heart embraces nature? Was not our intercourse a perpetual web of the finest emotions, of the keenest wit, the varieties of which, even in their very eccentricity, bore the stamp of genius? Alas! the few years by which she was my senior brought her to the grave before me. Never can I forget her firm mind or her heavenly patience.

Oh, how sad it is that the friend of my youth is gone! Oh, how I wish I had never met her! I could tell myself, "You’re just a dreamer looking for something that doesn’t exist." But she was mine. I held that heart, that noble soul, and in her presence, I felt like I was more than I actually was because I was everything I could be. Good heavens! Was there ever a part of my soul that didn’t get a chance to shine? In her company, could I not fully express that mysterious feeling with which my heart connects to nature? Wasn’t our relationship a constant tapestry of the most beautiful emotions and sharpest wit, the kinds that, even in their uniqueness, showed a touch of genius? Oh! The few years she had over me meant she left this world before I did. I will never forget her strong mind or her incredible patience.

A few days ago I met a certain young V—, a frank, open fellow, with a most pleasing countenance. He has just left the university, does not deem himself overwise, but believes he knows more than other people. He has worked hard, as I can perceive from many circumstances, and, in short, possesses a large stock of information. When he heard that I am drawing a good deal, and that I know Greek (two wonderful things for this part of the country), he came to see me, and displayed his whole store of learning, from Batteaux to Wood, from De Piles to Winkelmann: he assured me he had read through the first part of Sultzer's theory, and also possessed a manuscript of Heyne's work on the study of the antique. I allowed it all to pass.

A few days ago, I met a young guy named V—, an open and honest fellow with a really pleasant face. He just graduated from university, doesn’t think he’s overly wise, but believes he knows more than most people. He has worked hard, which I can tell from various things, and overall, he has a lot of knowledge. When he found out that I do a lot of drawing and that I know Greek (two impressive things around here), he came to visit me and showed off everything he knows, from Batteaux to Wood, from De Piles to Winkelmann. He assured me he had read the first part of Sultzer's theory and even had a manuscript of Heyne's work on studying ancient art. I just let it all go by.

I have become acquainted, also, with a very worthy person, the district judge, a frank and open-hearted man. I am told it is a most delightful thing to see him in the midst of his children, of whom he has nine. His eldest daughter especially is highly spoken of. He has invited me to go and see him, and I intend to do so on the first opportunity. He lives at one of the royal hunting-lodges, which can be reached from here in an hour and a half by walking, and which he obtained leave to inhabit after the loss of his wife, as it is so painful to him to reside in town and at the court.

I’ve also gotten to know a really great person, the district judge, who is a straightforward and warm-hearted man. I've heard it’s a wonderful sight to see him surrounded by his nine children. His oldest daughter is especially praised. He has invited me to visit him, and I plan to take him up on that invitation as soon as I can. He lives at one of the royal hunting lodges, which is about an hour and a half walk from here, and he was granted permission to live there after his wife passed away, as it’s too painful for him to stay in the city and at the court.

There have also come in my way a few other originals of a questionable sort, who are in all respects undesirable, and most intolerable in their demonstration of friendship. Good-bye. This letter will please you: it is quite historical.

There have also come my way a few other originals of a questionable kind, who are in every way undesirable and extremely annoying in their display of friendship. Goodbye. This letter should make you happy: it’s quite historical.

MAY 22.

MAY 22nd.

That the life of man is but a dream, many a man has surmised heretofore; and I, too, am everywhere pursued by this feeling. When I consider the narrow limits within which our active and inquiring faculties are confined; when I see how all our energies are wasted in providing for mere necessities, which again have no further end than to prolong a wretched existence; and then that all our satisfaction concerning certain subjects of investigation ends in nothing better than a passive resignation, whilst we amuse ourselves painting our prison-walls with bright figures and brilliant landscapes,—when I consider all this, Wilhelm, I am silent. I examine my own being, and find there a world, but a world rather of imagination and dim desires, than of distinctness and living power. Then everything swims before my senses, and I smile and dream while pursuing my way through the world.

Many people have thought that life is just a dream; I feel that way too. When I think about the limited scope of our active minds and curiosity, and how we waste our energy just to meet basic needs that only serve to extend a miserable existence, it’s frustrating. Our satisfaction with various studies often leads to nothing more than acceptance, while we distract ourselves by decorating our dreary surroundings with colorful images and beautiful landscapes. When I reflect on all of this, Wilhelm, I can’t help but go quiet. I look into my own being and find a world there, but it’s more about imagination and vague desires than clarity and vibrant energy. Everything becomes hazy, and I end up smiling and dreaming as I navigate through life.

All learned professors and doctors are agreed that children do not comprehend the cause of their desires; but that the grown-up should wander about this earth like children, without knowing whence they come, or whither they go, influenced as little by fixed motives, but guided like them by biscuits, sugar-plums, and the rod,—this is what nobody is willing to acknowledge; and yet I think it is palpable.

All knowledgeable professors and doctors agree that kids don’t understand why they want what they want; however, the idea that adults should roam this world like children, unaware of where they come from or where they’re headed, influenced as little by set motives and instead guided like them by treats and discipline—this is something no one wants to admit. Yet, I believe it's obvious.

I know what you will say in reply; for I am ready to admit that they are happiest, who, like children, amuse themselves with their playthings, dress and undress their dolls, and attentively watch the cupboard, where mamma has locked up her sweet things, and, when at last they get a delicious morsel, eat it greedily, and exclaim, "More!" These are certainly happy beings; but others also are objects of envy, who dignify their paltry employments, and sometimes even their passions, with pompous titles, representing them to mankind as gigantic achievements performed for their welfare and glory. But the man who humbly acknowledges the vanity of all this, who observes with what pleasure the thriving citizen converts his little garden into a paradise, and how patiently even the poor man pursues his weary way under his burden, and how all wish equally to behold the light of the sun a little longer,—yes, such a man is at peace, and creates his own world within himself; and he is also happy, because he is a man. And then, however limited his sphere, he still preserves in his bosom the sweet feeling of liberty, and knows that he can quit his prison whenever he likes.

I know what you’ll say in response; I’m ready to admit that the happiest people are those who, like children, enjoy their toys, dress and undress their dolls, and eagerly watch the cupboard where mom keeps her treats. When they finally get a tasty snack, they eat it eagerly and shout, “More!” These people are certainly happy, but there are others who are also envied, as they elevate their trivial tasks and sometimes even their passions with grand titles, making them seem like monumental achievements done for the benefit and glory of everyone. However, the person who humbly recognizes the emptiness of all this, who watches with pleasure as the successful citizen turns their little garden into a paradise, and who sees how patiently even the poor person carries on under their burdens, and how everyone wishes to enjoy the sunlight a little longer—yes, that kind of person is at peace and creates their own world within themselves; they are happy simply because they are human. And no matter how limited their circumstances, they still hold onto that sweet feeling of freedom and know they can leave their confinement whenever they choose.

MAY 26.

MAY 26.

You know of old my ways of settling anywhere, of selecting a little cottage in some cosy spot, and of putting up in it with every inconvenience. Here, too, I have discovered such a snug, comfortable place, which possesses peculiar charms for me.

You already know how I used to settle down anywhere, finding a cozy little cottage in a nice spot and making do with any inconvenience. Here, I've also found a snug, comfortable place that has its own unique charm for me.

About a league from the town is a place called Walheim. (The reader need not take the trouble to look for the place thus designated. We have found it necessary to change the names given in the original.) It is delightfully situated on the side of a hill; and, by proceeding along one of the footpaths which lead out of the village, you can have a view of the whole valley. A good old woman lives there, who keeps a small inn. She sells wine, beer, and coffee, and is cheerful and pleasant notwithstanding her age. The chief charm of this spot consists in two linden-trees, spreading their enormous branches over the little green before the church, which is entirely surrounded by peasants' cottages, barns, and homesteads. I have seldom seen a place so retired and peaceable; and there often have my table and chair brought out from the little inn, and drink my coffee there, and read my Homer. Accident brought me to the spot one fine afternoon, and I found it perfectly deserted. Everybody was in the fields except a little boy about four years of age, who was sitting on the ground, and held between his knees a child about six months old: he pressed it to his bosom with both arms, which thus formed a sort of arm-chair; and, notwithstanding the liveliness which sparkled in its black eyes, it remained perfectly still. The sight charmed me. I sat down upon a plough opposite, and sketched with great delight this little picture of brotherly tenderness. I added the neighbouring hedge, the barn-door, and some broken cart-wheels, just as they happened to lie; and I found in about an hour that I had made a very correct and interesting drawing, without putting in the slightest thing of my own. This confirmed me in my resolution of adhering, for the future, entirely to nature. She alone is inexhaustible, and capable of forming the greatest masters. Much may be alleged in favour of rules, as much may be likewise advanced in favour of the laws of society: an artist formed upon them will never produce anything absolutely bad or disgusting; as a man who observes the laws, and obeys decorum, can never be an absolutely intolerable neighbour, nor a decided villain: but yet, say what you will of rules, they destroy the genuine feeling of nature, as well as its true expression. Do not tell me "that this is too hard, that they only restrain and prune superfluous branches, etc." My good friend, I will illustrate this by an analogy. These things resemble love. A warmhearted youth becomes strongly attached to a maiden: he spends every hour of the day in her company, wears out his health, and lavishes his fortune, to afford continual proof that he is wholly devoted to her. Then comes a man of the world, a man of place and respectability, and addresses him thus: "My good young friend, love is natural; but you must love within bounds. Divide your time: devote a portion to business, and give the hours of recreation to your mistress. Calculate your fortune; and out of the superfluity you may make her a present, only not too often,—on her birthday, and such occasions." Pursuing this advice, he may become a useful member of society, and I should advise every prince to give him an appointment; but it is all up with his love, and with his genius if he be an artist. O my friend! why is it that the torrent of genius so seldom bursts forth, so seldom rolls in full-flowing stream, overwhelming your astounded soul? Because, on either side of this stream, cold and respectable persons have taken up their abodes, and, forsooth, their summer-houses and tulip-beds would suffer from the torrent; wherefore they dig trenches, and raise embankments betimes, in order to avert the impending danger.

About a mile from the town is a place called Walheim. (You don’t need to bother looking for this place; we’ve changed the names from the original.) It’s beautifully located on the side of a hill, and if you take one of the paths that lead out of the village, you can see the entire valley. An elderly woman runs a small inn there. She serves wine, beer, and coffee, and is cheerful and friendly despite her age. The main appeal of this spot is two linden trees, which spread their massive branches over the little green area in front of the church, surrounded by cottages, barns, and homes of the peasants. I've rarely seen a place so quiet and peaceful. I often have my table and chair brought out from the little inn, where I drink my coffee and read Homer. One lovely afternoon, I stumbled upon this place and found it completely empty. Everyone was out in the fields except for a little boy, around four years old, who was sitting on the ground holding a six-month-old baby between his knees. He was cradling it against his chest with both arms, forming a sort of chair, and even though the baby's black eyes sparkled with liveliness, it remained completely still. The scene captivated me. I sat down on a nearby plow and happily sketched this sweet moment of brotherly affection. I included the nearby hedge, the barn door, and some broken cartwheels, just as they were. After about an hour, I realized I had created a very accurate and interesting drawing without adding a single thing of my own. This confirmed my decision to stick with nature from now on. Nature alone is endless and can create the greatest artists. While there are compelling arguments favoring rules, as there are for the laws of society: an artist following these will never create anything truly bad or offensive, just as someone who obeys the laws and maintains decorum can’t be a completely unbearable neighbor or a total villain. But however you try to justify it, rules kill the genuine feeling of nature and its true expression. Don’t tell me, “That’s too harsh; they just restrict and trim unnecessary branches,” etc. My good friend, let me illustrate this with an analogy. These concepts are like love. A warm-hearted young man falls deeply for a woman: he spends every moment with her, wearing himself out and spending all his money to show his total devotion. Then a worldly man, someone respectable, says to him: “My dear young friend, love is natural; but you need to love within limits. Balance your time: devote some to work and give your free hours to your girlfriend. Keep track of your finances; and with any extra, make her a gift, but not too often—only on her birthday and similar occasions.” Following this advice, he could become a valuable member of society, and I’d suggest that any ruler should give him a position; but his love, and his creativity if he’s an artist, will be over. Oh my friend! Why is it that the flow of genius so rarely bursts forth, so infrequently flows freely, overwhelming your astonished soul? It’s because, on both sides of this stream, cold and respectable people have settled in, and their summer homes and gardens would suffer from the torrent; so they dig ditches and build levees early to prevent the coming flood.

MAY 27.

MAY 27th.

I find I have fallen into raptures, declamation, and similes, and have forgotten, in consequence, to tell you what became of the children. Absorbed in my artistic contemplations, which I briefly described in my letter of yesterday, I continued sitting on the plough for two hours. Toward evening a young woman, with a basket on her arm, came running toward the children, who had not moved all that time. She exclaimed from a distance, "You are a good boy, Philip!" She gave me greeting: I returned it, rose, and approached her. I inquired if she were the mother of those pretty children. "Yes," she said; and, giving the eldest a piece of bread, she took the little one in her arms and kissed it with a mother's tenderness. "I left my child in Philip's care," she said, "whilst I went into the town with my eldest boy to buy some wheaten bread, some sugar, and an earthen pot." I saw the various articles in the basket, from which the cover had fallen. "I shall make some broth to-night for my little Hans (which was the name of the youngest): that wild fellow, the big one, broke my pot yesterday, whilst he was scrambling with Philip for what remained of the contents." I inquired for the eldest; and she had scarcely time to tell me that he was driving a couple of geese home from the meadow, when he ran up, and handed Philip an osier-twig. I talked a little longer with the woman, and found that she was the daughter of the schoolmaster, and that her husband was gone on a journey into Switzerland for some money a relation had left him. "They wanted to cheat him," she said, "and would not answer his letters; so he is gone there himself. I hope he has met with no accident, as I have heard nothing of him since his departure." I left the woman, with regret, giving each of the children a kreutzer, with an additional one for the youngest, to buy some wheaten bread for his broth when she went to town next; and so we parted. I assure you, my dear friend, when my thoughts are all in tumult, the sight of such a creature as this tranquillises my disturbed mind. She moves in a happy thoughtlessness within the confined circle of her existence; she supplies her wants from day to day; and, when she sees the leaves fall, they raise no other idea in her mind than that winter is approaching. Since that time I have gone out there frequently. The children have become quite familiar with me; and each gets a lump of sugar when I drink my coffee, and they share my milk and bread and butter in the evening. They always receive their kreutzer on Sundays, for the good woman has orders to give it to them when I do not go there after evening service. They are quite at home with me, tell me everything; and I am particularly amused with observing their tempers, and the simplicity of their behaviour, when some of the other village children are assembled with them.

I've gotten so caught up in my thoughts and expressions that I forgot to tell you what happened to the children. Lost in my artistic reflections, which I briefly mentioned in my letter yesterday, I sat on the plow for two hours. In the evening, a young woman with a basket on her arm came running toward the children, who hadn’t moved the whole time. From a distance, she exclaimed, "You’re a good boy, Philip!" She greeted me, and I returned the greeting, stood up, and walked over to her. I asked if she was the mother of those lovely children. "Yes," she said, and after giving the oldest a piece of bread, she picked up the little one and kissed it with a mother's love. "I left my child in Philip's care while I went into town with my oldest boy to buy some bread, sugar, and a clay pot." I noticed the various items in the basket, the cover having fallen off. "I’m going to make some soup tonight for my little Hans," she said (that was the youngest's name), "that wild one, the big one, broke my pot yesterday while he was wrestling with Philip for the remains of the food." I asked about the oldest, and she barely had time to tell me he was herding a couple of geese home from the meadow when he ran up and handed Philip a twig. I chatted a bit longer with the woman and learned she was the schoolmaster's daughter and that her husband went to Switzerland to collect some money a relative left him. "They were trying to cheat him," she said, "and wouldn’t respond to his letters, so he went there himself. I hope he hasn’t had any accidents since I haven't heard from him since he left." I left her with a twinge of regret, giving each of the children a kreutzer, and an extra one for the youngest, so he could buy bread for his soup next time she went to town; and then we parted. I assure you, my dear friend, when my thoughts are all in chaos, seeing someone like her calms my restless mind. She moves through her life with a blissful ignorance, covering her daily needs; and when she sees the leaves fall, she thinks only of winter approaching. Since then, I’ve been visiting them often. The children have become quite comfortable with me; each gets a piece of sugar when I drink my coffee, and they share my milk and bread and butter in the evening. They always get their kreutzer on Sundays, as the kind woman knows to give it to them when I don't visit after evening service. They’re at ease around me, tell me everything; and I especially enjoy watching their moods and the simplicity of their behavior when some of the other village kids are with them.

It has given me a deal of trouble to satisfy the anxiety of the mother, lest (as she says) "they should inconvenience the gentleman."

It has caused me a lot of trouble to ease the mother’s worries, since she says “they might bother the gentleman.”

MAY 30.

MAY 30th.

What I have lately said of painting is equally true with respect to poetry. It is only necessary for us to know what is really excellent, and venture to give it expression; and that is saying much in few words. To-day I have had a scene, which, if literally related, would, make the most beautiful idyl in the world. But why should I talk of poetry and scenes and idyls? Can we never take pleasure in nature without having recourse to art?

What I’ve said recently about painting is also true for poetry. We just need to understand what’s truly great and be bold enough to express it; that’s a lot to say in just a few words. Today, I experienced a moment that, if described literally, would create the most beautiful idyll in the world. But why should I discuss poetry, moments, and idylls? Can we never enjoy nature without turning to art?

If you expect anything grand or magnificent from this introduction, you will be sadly mistaken. It relates merely to a peasant-lad, who has excited in me the warmest interest. As usual, I shall tell my story badly; and you, as usual, will think me extravagant. It is Walheim once more—always Walheim—which produces these wonderful phenomena.

If you're expecting something grand or amazing from this introduction, you’ll be disappointed. It’s just about a peasant boy who has stirred my deepest interest. As usual, I’ll probably tell my story poorly, and you’ll once again think I’m exaggerating. It’s Walheim, once again—always Walheim—that brings about these incredible events.

A party had assembled outside the house under the linden-trees, to drink coffee. The company did not exactly please me; and, under one pretext or another, I lingered behind.

A group had gathered outside the house under the linden trees to drink coffee. I wasn't exactly happy with the company, and for one reason or another, I hung back.

A peasant came from an adjoining house, and set to work arranging some part of the same plough which I had lately sketched. His appearance pleased me; and I spoke to him, inquired about his circumstances, made his acquaintance, and, as is my wont with persons of that class, was soon admitted into his confidence. He said he was in the service of a young widow, who set great store by him. He spoke so much of his mistress, and praised her so extravagantly, that I could soon see he was desperately in love with her. "She is no longer young," he said: "and she was treated so badly by her former husband that she does not mean to marry again." From his account it was so evident what incomparable charms she possessed for him, and how ardently he wished she would select him to extinguish the recollection of her first husband's misconduct, that I should have to repeat his own words in order to describe the depth of the poor fellow's attachment, truth, and devotion. It would, in fact, require the gifts of a great poet to convey the expression of his features, the harmony of his voice, and the heavenly fire of his eye. No words can portray the tenderness of his every movement and of every feature: no effort of mine could do justice to the scene. His alarm lest I should misconceive his position with regard to his mistress, or question the propriety of her conduct, touched me particularly. The charming manner with which he described her form and person, which, without possessing the graces of youth, won and attached him to her, is inexpressible, and must be left to the imagination. I have never in my life witnessed or fancied or conceived the possibility of such intense devotion, such ardent affections, united with so much purity. Do not blame me if I say that the recollection of this innocence and truth is deeply impressed upon my very soul; that this picture of fidelity and tenderness haunts me everywhere; and that my own heart, as though enkindled by the flame, glows and burns within me.

A peasant came from a nearby house and started working on part of the plow I had just sketched. I found his appearance appealing, so I spoke to him, asked about his situation, got to know him, and, as is my habit with people in his position, he quickly opened up to me. He said he worked for a young widow who valued him a lot. He talked so much about his mistress and praised her so extravagantly that it was clear he was madly in love with her. "She isn't young anymore," he said, "and she was treated so poorly by her former husband that she doesn't plan to marry again." It was obvious from what he said just how extraordinary she was to him and how desperately he wished she would choose him to erase the memory of her first husband's mistreatment. I would have to repeat his words to convey the depth of this poor man's attachment, truth, and devotion. It would really take the talent of a great poet to express the look on his face, the soothing quality of his voice, and the passion in his eyes. No words can capture the tenderness in his every movement and feature; I couldn’t do justice to the scene. I was particularly touched by his concern that I might misunderstand his feelings for his mistress or question her behavior. The beautiful way he described her figure and presence, which, despite lacking the grace of youth, enchanted and drew him to her, is beyond words and should be left to the imagination. I have never in my life seen, imagined, or considered the possibility of such deep devotion and passionate affection combined with such purity. Don’t blame me for saying that the memory of this innocence and truth is deeply engraved on my soul; that this image of loyalty and tenderness follows me everywhere, and that my own heart, as if ignited by a flame, glows and burns within me.

I mean now to try and see her as soon as I can: or perhaps, on second thoughts, I had better not; it is better I should behold her through the eyes of her lover. To my sight, perhaps, she would not appear as she now stands before me; and why should I destroy so sweet a picture?

I plan to try to see her as soon as possible; or maybe, on second thought, it's better if I don't. It's probably best to see her through the eyes of her lover. To me, she might not look the same as she does now, and why should I ruin such a beautiful image?

JUNE 16.

JUNE 16.

"Why do I not write to you?" You lay claim to learning, and ask such a question. You should have guessed that I am well—that is to say—in a word, I have made an acquaintance who has won my heart: I have—I know not.

"Why don't I write to you?" You claim to be knowledgeable and ask such a question. You should have figured out that I'm doing fine—that is to say—in short, I've met someone who has captured my heart: I have—I don't know.

To give you a regular account of the manner in which I have become acquainted with the most amiable of women would be a difficult task. I am a happy and contented mortal, but a poor historian.

To provide you with a straightforward account of how I got to know the most wonderful woman would be a challenging task. I'm a happy and content person, but I'm not great at telling stories.

An angel! Nonsense! Everybody so describes his mistress; and yet I find it impossible to tell you how perfect she is, or why she is so perfect: suffice it to say she has captivated all my senses.

An angel! That's ridiculous! Everyone talks about their love like that; yet I can’t explain how amazing she is, or why she’s so amazing. All I can say is that she has captured all my senses.

So much simplicity with so much understanding—so mild, and yet so resolute—a mind so placid, and a life so active.

So much simplicity combined with deep understanding—so gentle, yet so determined—a mind so calm, and a life so energetic.

But all this is ugly balderdash, which expresses not a single character nor feature. Some other time—but no, not some other time, now, this very instant, will I tell you all about it. Now or never. Well, between ourselves, since I commenced my letter, I have been three times on the point of throwing down my pen, of ordering my horse, and riding out. And yet I vowed this morning that I would not ride to-day, and yet every moment I am rushing to the window to see how high the sun is.

But all this is nonsense that doesn't convey a single character or detail. Some other time—no, not some other time, right now, at this very moment, I'll tell you everything about it. Now or never. Honestly, since I started this letter, I've almost put down my pen three times to saddle my horse and ride out. And yet I promised myself this morning that I wouldn't ride today, but every minute I find myself rushing to the window to check how high the sun is.

I could not restrain myself—go to her I must. I have just returned, Wilhelm; and whilst I am taking supper I will write to you. What a delight it was for my soul to see her in the midst of her dear, beautiful children,—eight brothers and sisters!

I couldn't hold back—I have to go see her. I just got back, Wilhelm; and while I'm having dinner, I'll write to you. What a joy it was for me to see her surrounded by her lovely, precious kids—eight brothers and sisters!

But, if I proceed thus, you will be no wiser at the end of my letter than you were at the beginning. Attend, then, and I will compel myself to give you the details.

But if I keep going like this, you won’t be any smarter by the time you finish my letter than you were when you started. So listen closely, and I’ll push myself to share the details with you.

I mentioned to you the other day that I had become acquainted with S—, the district judge, and that he had invited me to go and visit him in his retirement, or rather in his little kingdom. But I neglected going, and perhaps should never have gone, if chance had not discovered to me the treasure which lay concealed in that retired spot. Some of our young people had proposed giving a ball in the country, at which I consented to be present. I offered my hand for the evening to a pretty and agreeable, but rather commonplace, sort of girl from the immediate neighbourhood; and it was agreed that I should engage a carriage, and call upon Charlotte, with my partner and her aunt, to convey them to the ball. My companion informed me, as we drove along through the park to the hunting-lodge, that I should make the acquaintance of a very charming young lady. "Take care," added the aunt, "that you do not lose your heart." "Why?" said I. "Because she is already engaged to a very worthy man," she replied, "who is gone to settle his affairs upon the death of his father, and will succeed to a very considerable inheritance." This information possessed no interest for me. When we arrived at the gate, the sun was setting behind the tops of the mountains. The atmosphere was heavy; and the ladies expressed their fears of an approaching storm, as masses of low black clouds were gathering in the horizon. I relieved their anxieties by pretending to be weather-wise, although I myself had some apprehensions lest our pleasure should be interrupted.

I mentioned to you the other day that I had met S—, the district judge, and he had invited me to visit him in his retirement, or rather in his little kingdom. But I didn't go, and probably would never have if chance hadn't revealed the treasure hidden in that secluded spot. Some of our young people suggested throwing a ball in the country, and I agreed to attend. I offered my hand for the evening to a pretty and pleasant, but rather ordinary, girl from the area; and it was decided that I would arrange for a carriage and pick up Charlotte, along with my partner and her aunt, to take them to the ball. As we drove through the park to the hunting lodge, my companion told me that I would meet a very charming young lady. "Be careful," the aunt added, "not to lose your heart." "Why?" I asked. "Because she is already engaged to a very decent man," she replied, "who has gone to settle his affairs after his father's death and will inherit a significant fortune." This information didn't interest me. When we arrived at the gate, the sun was setting behind the mountain tops. The air was heavy, and the ladies expressed concerns about an approaching storm as dark clouds gathered on the horizon. I eased their worries by pretending to understand the weather, although I had my own concerns that our enjoyment might be cut short.

I alighted; and a maid came to the door, and requested us to wait a moment for her mistress. I walked across the court to a well-built house, and, ascending the flight of steps in front, opened the door, and saw before me the most charming spectacle I had ever witnessed. Six children, from eleven to two years old, were running about the hall, and surrounding a lady of middle height, with a lovely figure, dressed in a robe of simple white, trimmed with pink ribbons. She was holding a rye loaf in her hand, and was cutting slices for the little ones all around, in proportion to their age and appetite. She performed her task in a graceful and affectionate manner; each claimant awaiting his turn with outstretched hands, and boisterously shouting his thanks. Some of them ran away at once, to enjoy their evening meal; whilst others, of a gentler disposition, retired to the courtyard to see the strangers, and to survey the carriage in which their Charlotte was to drive away. "Pray forgive me for giving you the trouble to come for me, and for keeping the ladies waiting: but dressing, and arranging some household duties before I leave, had made me forget my children's supper; and they do not like to take it from any one but me." I uttered some indifferent compliment: but my whole soul was absorbed by her air, her voice, her manner; and I had scarcely recovered myself when she ran into her room to fetch her gloves and fan. The young ones threw inquiring glances at me from a distance; whilst I approached the youngest, a most delicious little creature. He drew back; and Charlotte, entering at the very moment, said, "Louis, shake hands with your cousin." The little fellow obeyed willingly; and I could not resist giving him a hearty kiss, notwithstanding his rather dirty face. "Cousin," said I to Charlotte, as I handed her down, "do you think I deserve the happiness of being related to you?" She replied, with a ready smile, "Oh! I have such a number of cousins, that I should be sorry if you were the most undeserving of them." In taking leave, she desired her next sister, Sophy, a girl about eleven years old, to take great care of the children, and to say good-bye to papa for her when he came home from his ride. She enjoined to the little ones to obey their sister Sophy as they would herself, upon which some promised that they would; but a little fair-haired girl, about six years old, looked discontented, and said, "But Sophy is not you, Charlotte; and we like you best." The two eldest boys had clambered up the carriage; and, at my request, she permitted them to accompany us a little way through the forest, upon their promising to sit very still, and hold fast.

I got out of the carriage, and a maid came to the door, asking us to wait a minute for her mistress. I walked across the courtyard to a sturdy house, and, going up the steps in front, opened the door to the most charming scene I had ever seen. Six children, ranging from eleven to two years old, were running around the hall, surrounding a woman of average height with a lovely figure, dressed in a simple white dress with pink ribbons. She was holding a rye loaf and cutting slices for the little ones, based on their age and how hungry they were. She did this with grace and affection, and each child waited with outstretched hands, happily shouting their thanks. Some of them ran off to enjoy their evening meal right away, while others, being a bit more gentle, went to the courtyard to see the newcomers and check out the carriage that Charlotte would be taking away. "I’m really sorry for making you come for me and for keeping the ladies waiting," she said. "But I lost track of time while getting dressed and finishing some household chores before I left, and my kids only want to eat from me." I offered some half-hearted compliment, but I was completely captivated by her presence, her voice, and her mannerisms. I had barely collected myself when she dashed into her room to grab her gloves and fan. The younger ones were glancing at me curiously from a distance while I approached the youngest, an adorable little kid. He pulled back a bit, but just then Charlotte walked in and said, "Louis, shake hands with your cousin." The little guy obliged cheerfully, and I couldn’t help but give him a big kiss, despite his slightly dirty face. "Cousin," I said to Charlotte as I helped her down, "do you think I deserve the happiness of being related to you?" She smiled and replied, "Oh! I have so many cousins that I’d be sad if you were the most undeserving of them." When it was time to leave, she asked her next sister, Sophy, an eleven-year-old, to take great care of the kids and to say goodbye to their dad when he got back from his ride. She instructed the little ones to listen to Sophy just like they would to her, and while some promised they would, a little blonde girl, about six years old, looked unhappy and said, "But Sophy isn’t you, Charlotte; we like you best." The two oldest boys had climbed up onto the carriage, and at my request, she let them join us for a little while through the forest, as long as they promised to sit still and hold on tight.

We were hardly seated, and the ladies had scarcely exchanged compliments, making the usual remarks upon each other's dress, and upon the company they expected to meet, when Charlotte stopped the carriage, and made her brothers get down. They insisted upon kissing her hands once more; which the eldest did with all the tenderness of a youth of fifteen, but the other in a lighter and more careless manner. She desired them again to give her love to the children, and we drove off.

We had barely sat down, and the ladies had just started complimenting each other on their outfits and talking about the guests they expected to see, when Charlotte told the driver to stop the carriage and asked her brothers to get out. They insisted on kissing her hands one more time; the eldest did so with all the affection of a fifteen-year-old, while the younger one did it in a more playful and casual way. She asked them again to send her love to the kids, and we drove away.

The aunt inquired of Charlotte whether she had finished the book she had last sent her. "No," said Charlotte; "I did not like it: you can have it again. And the one before was not much better." I was surprised, upon asking the title, to hear that it was ____. (We feel obliged to suppress the passage in the letter, to prevent any one from feeling aggrieved; although no author need pay much attention to the opinion of a mere girl, or that of an unsteady young man.)

The aunt asked Charlotte if she had finished the book she had sent her last. "No," Charlotte replied, "I didn't like it; you can have it back. And the one before wasn't much better." I was surprised, when I asked the title, to find out it was ____. (We feel it necessary to leave out the passage in the letter to avoid upsetting anyone; although no author should care too much about the opinion of a young girl or that of a fickle young man.)

I found penetration and character in everything she said: every expression seemed to brighten her features with new charms,—with new rays of genius,—which unfolded by degrees, as she felt herself understood.

I found depth and personality in everything she said: every expression seemed to light up her face with new charm—new flashes of brilliance—that gradually revealed themselves as she realized she was being understood.

"When I was younger," she observed, "I loved nothing so much as romances. Nothing could equal my delight when, on some holiday, I could settle down quietly in a corner, and enter with my whole heart and soul into the joys or sorrows of some fictitious Leonora. I do not deny that they even possess some charms for me yet. But I read so seldom, that I prefer books suited exactly to my taste. And I like those authors best whose scenes describe my own situation in life,—and the friends who are about me, whose stories touch me with interest, from resembling my own homely existence,—which, without being absolutely paradise, is, on the whole, a source of indescribable happiness."

"When I was younger," she said, "I loved nothing more than romances. Nothing could match my joy when, on a holiday, I could settle down quietly in a corner and fully immerse myself in the joys or sorrows of some fictional Leonora. I won't deny that they still have some appeal for me. But I read so rarely now that I prefer books that are perfectly suited to my taste. I enjoy authors whose stories mirror my own life and the friends around me, whose tales engage me because they reflect my own everyday existence—which, while not exactly paradise, is, overall, a source of indescribable happiness."

I endeavoured to conceal the emotion which these words occasioned, but it was of slight avail; for, when she had expressed so truly her opinion of "The Vicar of Wakefield," and of other works, the names of which I omit (Though the names are omitted, yet the authors mentioned deserve Charlotte's approbation, and will feel it in their hearts when they read this passage. It concerns no other person.), I could no longer contain myself, but gave full utterance to what I thought of it: and it was not until Charlotte had addressed herself to the two other ladies, that I remembered their presence, and observed them sitting mute with astonishment. The aunt looked at me several times with an air of raillery, which, however, I did not at all mind.

I tried to hide the emotions these words stirred in me, but it didn’t work very well. After she honestly shared her thoughts on "The Vicar of Wakefield" and other works that I won’t mention (Though I’m leaving out the names, the authors mentioned are worthy of Charlotte's praise, and they’ll feel it in their hearts when they read this passage. It’s about no one else.), I couldn’t hold back anymore and expressed what I really thought about it. It wasn’t until Charlotte started talking to the other two ladies that I remembered they were there and noticed they were sitting in stunned silence. The aunt looked at me a few times with a teasing smile, but I didn’t mind at all.

We talked of the pleasures of dancing. "If it is a fault to love it," said Charlotte, "I am ready to confess that I prize it above all other amusements. If anything disturbs me, I go to the piano, play an air to which I have danced, and all goes right again directly."

We chatted about how much we enjoy dancing. "If you think it's a flaw to love it," said Charlotte, "I'm happy to admit that I value it more than any other pastime. Whenever something bothers me, I head to the piano, play a tune I've danced to, and everything feels right again instantly."

You, who know me, can fancy how steadfastly I gazed upon her rich dark eyes during these remarks, how my very soul gloated over her warm lips and fresh, glowing cheeks, how I became quite lost in the delightful meaning of her words, so much so, that I scarcely heard the actual expressions. In short, I alighted from the carriage like a person in a dream, and was so lost to the dim world around me, that I scarcely heard the music which resounded from the illuminated ballroom.

You, who know me, can imagine how intently I looked into her deep dark eyes while she spoke, how my soul reveled in her warm lips and fresh, glowing cheeks, how I got completely lost in the delightful meaning of her words, to the point that I barely heard what she was actually saying. In short, I stepped out of the carriage like someone in a dream and was so oblivious to the world around me that I hardly noticed the music playing from the lit-up ballroom.

The two Messrs. Andran and a certain N. N. (I cannot trouble myself with the names), who were the aunt's and Charlotte's partners, received us at the carriage-door, and took possession of their ladies, whilst I followed with mine.

The two gentlemen, Andran and a certain N. N. (I can’t bother with the names), who were the aunt's and Charlotte's partners, welcomed us at the carriage door and took their ladies, while I followed with mine.

We commenced with a minuet. I led out one lady after another, and precisely those who were the most disagreeable could not bring themselves to leave off. Charlotte and her partner began an English country dance, and you must imagine my delight when it was their turn to dance the figure with us. You should see Charlotte dance. She dances with her whole heart and soul: her figure is all harmony, elegance, and grace, as if she were conscious of nothing else, and had no other thought or feeling; and, doubtless, for the moment, every other sensation is extinct.

We started with a minuet. I led one lady out after another, and the ones who were the hardest to deal with just couldn't bring themselves to stop. Charlotte and her partner began an English country dance, and you can imagine how thrilled I was when it was finally their turn to dance with us. You should see Charlotte dance. She puts her whole heart and soul into it: her movements are all harmony, elegance, and grace, as if she is aware of nothing else and has no other thoughts or feelings; and, without a doubt, in that moment, every other sensation fades away.

She was engaged for the second country dance, but promised me the third, and assured me, with the most agreeable freedom, that she was very fond of waltzing. "It is the custom here," she said, "for the previous partners to waltz together; but my partner is an indifferent waltzer, and will feel delighted if I save him the trouble. Your partner is not allowed to waltz, and, indeed, is equally incapable: but I observed during the country dance that you waltz well; so, if you will waltz with me, I beg you would propose it to my partner, and I will propose it to yours." We agreed, and it was arranged that our partners should mutually entertain each other.

She was set to dance the second country dance, but promised me the third, and confidently told me she really enjoyed waltzing. "Here, it's the custom for previous partners to waltz together," she said, "but my partner isn't a great waltzer and would be thrilled if I spared him the effort. Your partner isn't allowed to waltz, and honestly, isn't any good at it either: but I noticed during the country dance that you waltz well; so, if you'll waltz with me, I’d appreciate it if you could suggest it to my partner, and I’ll suggest it to yours." We agreed, and it was settled that our partners would entertain each other.

We set off, and, at first, delighted ourselves with the usual graceful motions of the arms. With what grace, with what ease, she moved! When the waltz commenced, and the dancers whirled around each other in the giddy maze, there was some confusion, owing to the incapacity of some of the dancers. We judiciously remained still, allowing the others to weary themselves; and, when the awkward dancers had withdrawn, we joined in, and kept it up famously together with one other couple,—Andran and his partner. Never did I dance more lightly. I felt myself more than mortal, holding this loveliest of creatures in my arms, flying, with her as rapidly as the wind, till I lost sight of every other object; and O Wilhelm, I vowed at that moment, that a maiden whom I loved, or for whom I felt the slightest attachment, never, never should waltz with any one else but with me, if I went to perdition for it!—you will understand this.

We set off, and at first, we enjoyed the usual graceful movements of our arms. She moved with such grace and ease! When the waltz started, the dancers spun around each other in a dizzying swirl, causing some confusion due to the lack of skill from a few dancers. We wisely stayed still, letting the others tire themselves out; and when the clumsy dancers stepped aside, we joined in and danced wonderfully with another couple—Andran and his partner. I had never danced so lightly. I felt more than human, holding this beautiful creature in my arms, flying with her as swiftly as the wind, until I lost sight of everything else; and oh Wilhelm, I promised at that moment that a girl I loved, or even one I had the slightest feelings for, would never, ever waltz with anyone else but me, even if it meant my downfall!—you understand this.

We took a few turns in the room to recover our breath. Charlotte sat down, and felt refreshed by partaking of some oranges which I had had secured,—the only ones that had been left; but at every slice which, from politeness, she offered to her neighbours, I felt as though a dagger went through my heart.

We took a moment to catch our breath in the room. Charlotte sat down and felt re-energized by eating some oranges I had managed to get—the only ones left. But with every slice she offered to her neighbors out of politeness, I felt like a dagger was piercing my heart.

We were the second couple in the third country dance. As we were going down (and Heaven knows with what ecstasy I gazed at her arms and eyes, beaming with the sweetest feeling of pure and genuine enjoyment), we passed a lady whom I had noticed for her charming expression of countenance; although she was no longer young. She looked at Charlotte with a smile, then, holding up her finger in a threatening attitude, repeated twice in a very significant tone of voice the name of "Albert."

We were the second couple in the third country dance. As we were moving together (and Heaven knows how happily I looked at her arms and eyes, shining with the purest feeling of joy), we passed a woman I'd noticed for her lovely expression; even though she wasn't young anymore. She smiled at Charlotte, then raised her finger in a warning way and repeated the name "Albert" twice in a very meaningful tone.

"Who is Albert," said I to Charlotte, "if it is not impertinent to ask?" She was about to answer, when we were obliged to separate, in order to execute a figure in the dance; and, as we crossed over again in front of each other, I perceived she looked somewhat pensive. "Why need I conceal it from you?" she said, as she gave me her hand for the promenade. "Albert is a worthy man, to whom I am engaged." Now, there was nothing new to me in this (for the girls had told me of it on the way); but it was so far new that I had not thought of it in connection with her whom, in so short a time, I had learned to prize so highly. Enough, I became confused, got out in the figure, and occasioned general confusion; so that it required all Charlotte's presence of mind to set me right by pulling and pushing me into my proper place.

"Who is Albert?" I asked Charlotte, "if it's not too forward to ask?" She was about to answer when we had to separate to execute a move in the dance; and as we crossed in front of each other again, I noticed she looked a bit thoughtful. "Why should I hide it from you?" she said, giving me her hand for the promenade. "Albert is a good man I'm engaged to." Now, this wasn't new information to me (the girls had mentioned it on the way), but it was new in the sense that I hadn't considered it in relation to her, someone I'd come to value so much in such a short time. I became flustered, messed up the dance, and caused some chaos, so it took all of Charlotte's quick thinking to pull and push me back into my proper place.

The dance was not yet finished when the lightning which had for some time been seen in the horizon, and which I had asserted to proceed entirely from heat, grew more violent; and the thunder was heard above the music. When any distress or terror surprises us in the midst of our amusements, it naturally makes a deeper impression than at other times, either because the contrast makes us more keenly susceptible, or rather perhaps because our senses are then more open to impressions, and the shock is consequently stronger. To this cause I must ascribe the fright and shrieks of the ladies. One sagaciously sat down in a corner with her back to the window, and held her fingers to her ears; a second knelt down before her, and hid her face in her lap; a third threw herself between them, and embraced her sister with a thousand tears; some insisted on going home; others, unconscious of their actions, wanted sufficient presence of mind to repress the impertinence of their young partners, who sought to direct to themselves those sighs which the lips of our agitated beauties intended for heaven. Some of the gentlemen had gone down-stairs to smoke a quiet cigar, and the rest of the company gladly embraced a happy suggestion of the hostess to retire into another room which was provided with shutters and curtains. We had hardly got there, when Charlotte placed the chairs in a circle; and, when the company had sat down in compliance with her request, she forthwith proposed a round game.

The dance wasn't over yet when the lightning that had been visible on the horizon for a while, which I had claimed was just due to heat, became more intense; and the thunder drowned out the music. When we are suddenly faced with fear or distress during times of enjoyment, it leaves a stronger impression than usual, either because the contrast makes us more sensitive, or perhaps because our senses are more alert, making the shock feel more intense. I attribute the fright and screams of the ladies to this. One wisely sat down in a corner with her back to the window, covering her ears with her fingers; another knelt in front of her, hiding her face in her lap; a third threw herself between them, hugging her sister while crying endlessly; some insisted on leaving; others, not fully aware of their actions, tried to maintain composure against the impudence of their young partners, who were trying to capture the sighs that our distressed beauties intended for the heavens. Some of the gentlemen had gone downstairs to smoke a calm cigar, and the rest of the guests eagerly agreed with the hostess’s suggestion to move into another room that had shutters and curtains. We had barely settled in when Charlotte arranged the chairs in a circle; and once everyone was seated as she asked, she immediately proposed a round game.

I noticed some of the company prepare their mouths and draw themselves up at the prospect of some agreeable forfeit. "Let us play at counting," said Charlotte. "Now, pay attention: I shall go round the circle from right to left; and each person is to count, one after the other, the number that comes to him, and must count fast; whoever stops or mistakes is to have a box on the ear, and so on, till we have counted a thousand." It was delightful to see the fun. She went round the circle with upraised arm. "One," said the first; "two," the second; "three," the third; and so on, till Charlotte went faster and faster. One made a mistake, instantly a box on the ear; and, amid the laughter that ensued, came another box; and so on, faster and faster. I myself came in for two. I fancied they were harder than the rest, and felt quite delighted. A general laughter and confusion put an end to the game long before we had counted as far as a thousand. The party broke up into little separate knots: the storm had ceased, and I followed Charlotte into the ballroom. On the way she said, "The game banished their fears of the storm." I could make no reply. "I myself," she continued, "was as much frightened as any of them; but by affecting courage, to keep up the spirits of the others, I forgot my apprehensions." We went to the window. It was still thundering at a distance: a soft rain was pouring down over the country, and filled the air around us with delicious odours. Charlotte leaned forward on her arm; her eyes wandered over the scene; she raised them to the sky, and then turned them upon me; they were moistened with tears; she placed her hand on mine and said, "Klopstock!" at once I remembered the magnificent ode which was in her thoughts: I felt oppressed with the weight of my sensations, and sank under them. It was more than I could bear. I bent over her hand, kissed it in a stream of delicious tears, and again looked up to her eyes. Divine Klopstock! why didst thou not see thy apotheosis in those eyes? And thy name so often profaned, would that I never heard it repeated!

I noticed some of the group getting ready to play, excited about a fun consequence. "Let's play counting," Charlotte said. "Now, pay attention: I'll go around the circle from right to left, and everyone has to count off, one after the other, really fast. If anyone stops or makes a mistake, they'll get a slap on the ear, and we'll keep going until we count to a thousand." It was so much fun to watch. She moved around the circle with her arm raised. "One," said the first person; "two," the second; "three," the third; and so on, until Charlotte was speeding up. Someone made a mistake, and right away, they got a slap; amidst the laughter that followed, there was another slap, and on it went, faster and faster. I ended up getting slapped twice. I thought they were hitting harder than the others, and I felt quite pleased. A burst of laughter and chaos ended the game long before we reached a thousand. The group broke into smaller clusters: the storm had calmed, and I followed Charlotte into the ballroom. On the way, she said, "The game distracted them from the storm." I didn't know how to respond. "I was just as scared as they were," she continued, "but by pretending to be brave to lift everyone's spirits, I forgot my own fears." We went to the window. The thunder still rumbled in the distance, a gentle rain fell across the countryside, filling the air with lovely scents. Charlotte leaned her arm on the sill; her eyes roamed over the view, then she looked up at the sky, and then back at me; her eyes were glistening with tears. She put her hand on mine and said, "Klopstock!" Instantly, I remembered the beautiful ode that was on her mind; I felt overwhelmed by my emotions and was crushed by them. It was more than I could handle. I bent over her hand, kissed it through a stream of lovely tears, and looked back up into her eyes. Divine Klopstock! Why didn't you see your glory reflected in those eyes? And your name, so often misused, I wish I had never heard it again!

JUNE 19.

JUNE 19.

I no longer remember where I stopped in my narrative: I only know it was two in the morning when I went to bed; and if you had been with me, that I might have talked instead of writing to you, I should, in all probability, have kept you up till daylight.

I can't remember where I left off in my story; I just know that it was two in the morning when I went to bed. If you had been there with me, instead of writing to you, I probably would have kept you up talking until dawn.

I think I have not yet related what happened as we rode home from the ball, nor have I time to tell you now. It was a most magnificent sunrise: the whole country was refreshed, and the rain fell drop by drop from the trees in the forest. Our companions were asleep. Charlotte asked me if I did not wish to sleep also, and begged of me not to make any ceremony on her account. Looking steadfastly at her, I answered, "As long as I see those eyes open, there is no fear of my falling asleep." We both continued awake till we reached her door. The maid opened it softly, and assured her, in answer to her inquiries, that her father and the children were well, and still sleeping. I left her asking permission to visit her in the course of the day. She consented, and I went, and, since that time, sun, moon, and stars may pursue their course: I know not whether it is day or night; the whole world is nothing to me.

I don't think I've shared what happened as we rode home from the ball, and I don’t have time to explain now. The sunrise was absolutely stunning: the whole countryside felt refreshed, and raindrops were falling slowly from the trees in the forest. Our friends were asleep. Charlotte asked me if I wanted to sleep too and urged me not to worry about her. I looked deeply into her eyes and replied, "As long as I see those eyes open, I won’t fall asleep." We both stayed awake until we reached her door. The maid opened it quietly and assured her, when she asked, that her father and the kids were well and still asleep. I left her asking if I could visit her later in the day. She agreed, and since then, sun, moon, and stars can do what they want: I have no idea whether it’s day or night; nothing in the world matters to me.

JUNE 21.

JUNE 21.

My days are as happy as those reserved by God for his elect; and, whatever be my fate hereafter, I can never say that I have not tasted joy,—the purest joy of life. You know Walheim. I am now completely settled there. In that spot I am only half a league from Charlotte; and there I enjoy myself, and taste all the pleasure which can fall to the lot of man.

My days are as joyful as those set aside by God for his chosen ones; and, no matter what my future holds, I can never say that I haven't experienced happiness—the truest happiness of life. You know Walheim. I'm now fully settled here. In that place, I'm just half a mile from Charlotte; and there I enjoy myself and experience all the pleasures that life can offer.

Little did I imagine, when I selected Walheim for my pedestrian excursions, that all heaven lay so near it. How often in my wanderings from the hillside or from the meadows across the river, have I beheld this hunting-lodge, which now contains within it all the joy of my heart!

Little did I know, when I chose Walheim for my walks, that all of paradise was so close to it. How often during my strolls from the hillside or from the fields by the river have I seen this hunting lodge, which now holds all the joy of my heart!

I have often, my dear Wilhelm, reflected on the eagerness men feel to wander and make new discoveries, and upon that secret impulse which afterward inclines them to return to their narrow circle, conform to the laws of custom, and embarrass themselves no longer with what passes around them.

I have often, my dear Wilhelm, thought about how eager people are to explore and discover new things, and about that hidden urge that later makes them want to go back to their small world, follow social norms, and stop worrying about what’s happening around them.

It is so strange how, when I came here first, and gazed upon that lovely valley from the hillside, I felt charmed with the entire scene surrounding me. The little wood opposite—how delightful to sit under its shade! How fine the view from that point of rock! Then, that delightful chain of hills, and the exquisite valleys at their feet! Could I but wander and lose myself amongst them! I went, and returned without finding what I wished. Distance, my friend, is like futurity. A dim vastness is spread before our souls: the perceptions of our mind are as obscure as those of our vision; and we desire earnestly to surrender up our whole being, that it may be filled with the complete and perfect bliss of one glorious emotion. But alas! when we have attained our object, when the distant there becomes the present here, all is changed: we are as poor and circumscribed as ever, and our souls still languish for unattainable happiness.

It's so strange how, when I first came here and looked at that beautiful valley from the hillside, I felt enchanted by the entire scene around me. The little woods across the way—how nice it is to sit in their shade! The view from that rock outcrop is amazing! Then there's that lovely chain of hills and the breathtaking valleys at their feet! If only I could wander and get lost among them! I went, but came back without finding what I was looking for. Distance, my friend, is like the future. A vague vastness stretches out before us: our thoughts are as unclear as our sight; and we deeply long to give our whole selves over to be filled with the complete and perfect joy of a single glorious feeling. But alas! when we reach our goal, when what was far away becomes right in front of us, everything changes: we still feel just as limited and confined, and our souls continue to yearn for happiness that seems forever out of reach.

So does the restless traveller pant for his native soil, and find in his own cottage, in the arms of his wife, in the affections of his children, and in the labour necessary for their support, that happiness which he had sought in vain through the wide world.

So does the restless traveler long for his homeland and discover in his own home, in his wife's embrace, in his children's love, and in the work needed to support them, the happiness he had unsuccessfully searched for throughout the vast world.

When, in the morning at sunrise, I go out to Walheim, and with my own hands gather in the garden the pease which are to serve for my dinner, when I sit down to shell them, and read my Homer during the intervals, and then, selecting a saucepan from the kitchen, fetch my own butter, put my mess on the fire, cover it up, and sit down to stir it as occasion requires, I figure to myself the illustrious suitors of Penelope, killing, dressing, and preparing their own oxen and swine. Nothing fills me with a more pure and genuine sense of happiness than those traits of patriarchal life which, thank Heaven! I can imitate without affectation. Happy is it, indeed, for me that my heart is capable of feeling the same simple and innocent pleasure as the peasant whose table is covered with food of his own rearing, and who not only enjoys his meal, but remembers with delight the happy days and sunny mornings when he planted it, the soft evenings when he watered it, and the pleasure he experienced in watching its daily growth.

When I head out to Walheim in the morning at sunrise and gather peas from the garden for my dinner, when I sit down to shell them while reading Homer during breaks, and then pick out a saucepan from the kitchen, grab my own butter, put my meal on the stove, cover it up, and sit down to stir it as needed, I imagine the famous suitors of Penelope, slaughtering, preparing, and cooking their own cattle and pigs. Nothing gives me a more pure and genuine sense of happiness than these aspects of rustic life which, thank goodness! I can replicate without pretense. I’m truly lucky that my heart can feel the same simple and innocent joy as a farmer whose table is filled with food he has grown himself, who not only enjoys the meal but also fondly remembers the happy days and sunny mornings when he planted it, the gentle evenings when he watered it, and the joy he felt watching it grow day by day.

JUNE 29.

JUNE 29

The day before yesterday, the physician came from the town to pay a visit to the judge. He found me on the floor playing with Charlotte's children. Some of them were scrambling over me, and others romped with me; and, as I caught and tickled them, they made a great noise. The doctor is a formal sort of personage: he adjusts the plaits of his ruffles, and continually settles his frill whilst he is talking to you; and he thought my conduct beneath the dignity of a sensible man. I could perceive this by his countenance. But I did not suffer myself to be disturbed. I allowed him to continue his wise conversation, whilst I rebuilt the children's card houses for them as fast as they threw them down. He went about the town afterward, complaining that the judge's children were spoiled enough before, but that now Werther was completely ruining them.

The day before yesterday, the doctor came from town to visit the judge. He found me on the floor playing with Charlotte's kids. Some were climbing on me, while others were playing around me, and as I caught and tickled them, they made a lot of noise. The doctor is quite a formal person; he adjusts the pleats in his ruffles and constantly straightens his collar while talking to you, and he thought my behavior was unworthy of a sensible man. I could see this from his expression. But I didn’t let it bother me. I let him continue his serious conversation while I rebuilt the kids' card houses as fast as they knocked them down. Later, he went around town complaining that the judge's kids were spoiled enough as it was, but now Werther was completely ruining them.

Yes, my dear Wilhelm, nothing on this earth affects my heart so much as children. When I look on at their doings; when I mark in the little creatures the seeds of all those virtues and qualities which they will one day find so indispensable; when I behold in the obstinate all the future firmness and constancy of a noble character; in the capricious, that levity and gaiety of temper which will carry them lightly over the dangers and troubles of life, their whole nature simple and unpolluted,—then I call to mind the golden words of the Great Teacher of mankind, "Unless ye become like one of these!" And now, my friend, these children, who are our equals, whom we ought to consider as our models, we treat them as though they were our subjects. They are allowed no will of their own. And have we, then, none ourselves? Whence comes our exclusive right? Is it because we are older and more experienced? Great God! from the height of thy heaven thou beholdest great children and little children, and no others; and thy Son has long since declared which afford thee greatest pleasure. But they believe in him, and hear him not,—that, too, is an old story; and they train their children after their own image, etc.

Yes, my dear Wilhelm, nothing on this earth touches my heart quite like children. When I watch them at play; when I see in these little ones the beginnings of all those virtues and qualities that will be essential to them one day; when I recognize in the stubborn the future strength and determination of a noble character; in the whimsical, that lightheartedness and joy that will help them navigate the challenges of life, their whole nature pure and innocent,—then I remember the wise words of the Great Teacher of humanity, "Unless you become like one of these!" And now, my friend, these children, who are our equals, whom we should look to as our examples, we treat as if they were our subjects. They have no will of their own. And do we then have none? What gives us our exclusive right? Is it because we are older and have more experience? Great God! from your place in heaven, you see both great children and little children, and none others; and your Son long ago expressed which brings you the most joy. But they believe in him, and do not listen to him—that too is an old story; and they raise their children in their own image, etc.

Adieu, Wilhelm: I will not further bewilder myself with this subject.

Goodbye, Wilhelm: I won't confuse myself any longer with this topic.

JULY 1.

JULY 1st.

The consolation Charlotte can bring to an invalid I experience from my own heart, which suffers more from her absence than many a poor creature lingering on a bed of sickness. She is gone to spend a few days in the town with a very worthy woman, who is given over by the physicians, and wishes to have Charlotte near her in her last moments. I accompanied her last week on a visit to the Vicar of S—, a small village in the mountains, about a league hence. We arrived about four o'clock: Charlotte had taken her little sister with her. When we entered the vicarage court, we found the good old man sitting on a bench before the door, under the shade of two large walnut-trees. At the sight of Charlotte he seemed to gain new life, rose, forgot his stick, and ventured to walk toward her. She ran to him, and made him sit down again; then, placing herself by his side, she gave him a number of messages from her father, and then caught up his youngest child, a dirty, ugly little thing, the joy of his old age, and kissed it. I wish you could have witnessed her attention to this old man,—how she raised her voice on account of his deafness; how she told him of healthy young people, who had been carried off when it was least expected; praised the virtues of Carlsbad, and commended his determination to spend the ensuing summer there; and assured him that he looked better and stronger than he did when she saw him last. I, in the meantime, paid attention to his good lady. The old man seemed quite in spirits; and as I could not help admiring the beauty of the walnut-trees, which formed such an agreeable shade over our heads, he began, though with some little difficulty, to tell us their history. "As to the oldest," said he, "we do not know who planted it,—some say one clergyman, and some another: but the younger one, there behind us, is exactly the age of my wife, fifty years old next October; her father planted it in the morning, and in the evening she came into the world. My wife's father was my predecessor here, and I cannot tell you how fond he was of that tree; and it is fully as dear to me. Under the shade of that very tree, upon a log of wood, my wife was seated knitting, when I, a poor student, came into this court for the first time, just seven and twenty years ago." Charlotte inquired for his daughter. He said she was gone with Herr Schmidt to the meadows, and was with the haymakers. The old man then resumed his story, and told us how his predecessor had taken a fancy to him, as had his daughter likewise; and how he had become first his curate, and subsequently his successor. He had scarcely finished his story when his daughter returned through the garden, accompanied by the above-mentioned Herr Schmidt. She welcomed Charlotte affectionately, and I confess I was much taken with her appearance. She was a lively-looking, good-humoured brunette, quite competent to amuse one for a short time in the country. Her lover (for such Herr Schmidt evidently appeared to be) was a polite, reserved personage, and would not join our conversation, notwithstanding all Charlotte's endeavours to draw him out. I was much annoyed at observing, by his countenance, that his silence did not arise from want of talent, but from caprice and ill-humour. This subsequently became very evident, when we set out to take a walk, and Frederica joining Charlotte, with whom I was talking, the worthy gentleman's face, which was naturally rather sombre, became so dark and angry that Charlotte was obliged to touch my arm, and remind me that I was talking too much to Frederica. Nothing distresses me more than to see men torment each other; particularly when in the flower of their age, in the very season of pleasure, they waste their few short days of sunshine in quarrels and disputes, and only perceive their error when it is too late to repair it. This thought dwelt upon my mind; and in the evening, when we returned to the vicar's, and were sitting round the table with our bread and milk, the conversation turned on the joys and sorrows of the world, I could not resist the temptation to inveigh bitterly against ill-humour. "We are apt," said I, "to complain, but—with very little cause, that our happy days are few, and our evil days many. If our hearts were always disposed to receive the benefits Heaven sends us, we should acquire strength to support evil when it comes." "But," observed the vicar's wife, "we cannot always command our tempers, so much depends upon the constitution: when the body suffers, the mind is ill at ease." "I acknowledge that," I continued; "but we must consider such a disposition in the light of a disease, and inquire whether there is no remedy for it."

The comfort Charlotte brings to someone who's unwell is something I feel deeply myself, as I suffer more from her absence than many poor souls lying sick in bed. She has gone to spend a few days in town with a kind woman who has been given up by doctors and wants Charlotte by her side in her final moments. I accompanied her last week on a visit to the Vicar of S—, a small village in the mountains about a mile away. We arrived around four o'clock, and Charlotte had brought her little sister along. When we entered the vicarage yard, we found the old man sitting on a bench outside under the shade of two large walnut trees. At the sight of Charlotte, he seemed to come alive, got up, forgot his walking stick, and walked toward her. She ran to him, made him sit back down, and then, sitting next to him, relayed a number of messages from her father. After that, she picked up his youngest child, a messy, unattractive little thing, the joy of his old age, and kissed it. I wish you could have seen how attentive she was to this old man—how she raised her voice because he was hard of hearing; how she told him about healthy young people who had died unexpectedly; praised the benefits of Carlsbad, and encouraged his decision to spend the upcoming summer there; and assured him that he looked better and stronger than he had when she last saw him. Meanwhile, I paid attention to his good wife. The old man seemed quite cheerful, and as I could not help but admire the beauty of the walnut trees that provided such pleasant shade over us, he began, though with some difficulty, to share their history. "As for the oldest one," he said, "we don’t know who planted it—some say it was one clergyman, and others say another. But the younger one, behind us, is exactly the same age as my wife—fifty years old next October; her father planted it in the morning, and she was born that evening. My wife's father was my predecessor, and I can’t tell you how fond he was of that tree, and it’s just as dear to me. Under that very tree, sitting on a log, my wife was knitting when I, a poor student, first came into this yard, just twenty-seven years ago." Charlotte asked about his daughter. He said she had gone with Herr Schmidt to the meadows, to help with the haymaking. The old man then continued with his story, how his predecessor had taken a liking to him, as did his daughter, and how he first became his curate, and then his successor. He had just finished his story when his daughter came back through the garden with the aforementioned Herr Schmidt. She greeted Charlotte warmly, and I must admit I was struck by her appearance. She was a lively, cheerful brunette, more than capable of bringing some joy during a short country visit. Her boyfriend, or so it seemed, Herr Schmidt, was polite but reserved and wouldn’t engage in our conversation, despite all of Charlotte's efforts to draw him out. I felt quite annoyed as I could see from his expression that his silence wasn’t due to lack of intelligence but rather whimsy and bad mood. This became even more obvious when we decided to take a walk; as Frederica joined Charlotte, with whom I was chatting, the gentleman's face, which was naturally somewhat gloomy, turned dark and angry, prompting Charlotte to touch my arm and remind me that I was talking too much to Frederica. Nothing frustrates me more than to see men causing each other distress; especially at the prime of their lives, wasting their precious sunny days in arguments and disputes, only realizing their mistake when it’s too late to make amends. This thought lingered in my mind, and in the evening, when we returned to the vicar’s and sat around the table with our bread and milk, the conversation turned to the joys and sorrows of the world. I couldn’t resist the urge to speak out against bad moods. "We tend," I said, "to complain, with hardly any reason, that our happy days are few and our bad days many. If our hearts were always open to accepting the blessings Heaven gives us, we would gain strength to endure hardships when they come." "But," said the vicar’s wife, "we can’t always control our tempers; so much depends on our physical state. When the body suffers, the mind is uneasy." "I admit that," I said; "but we should treat such a mindset as a type of illness and consider if there’s any cure for it."

"I should be glad to hear one," said Charlotte: "at least, I think very much depends upon ourselves; I know it is so with me. When anything annoys me, and disturbs my temper, I hasten into the garden, hum a couple of country dances, and it is all right with me directly." "That is what I meant," I replied; "ill-humour resembles indolence: it is natural to us; but if once we have courage to exert ourselves, we find our work run fresh from our hands, and we experience in the activity from which we shrank a real enjoyment." Frederica listened very attentively: and the young man objected, that we were not masters of ourselves, and still less so of our feelings. "The question is about a disagreeable feeling," I added, "from which every one would willingly escape, but none know their own power without trial. Invalids are glad to consult physicians, and submit to the most scrupulous regimen, the most nauseous medicines, in order to recover their health." I observed that the good old man inclined his head, and exerted himself to hear our discourse; so I raised my voice, and addressed myself directly to him. "We preach against a great many crimes," I observed, "but I never remember a sermon delivered against ill-humour." "That may do very well for your town clergymen," said he: "country people are never ill-humoured; though, indeed, it might be useful, occasionally, to my wife for instance, and the judge." We all laughed, as did he likewise very cordially, till he fell into a fit of coughing, which interrupted our conversation for a time. Herr Schmidt resumed the subject. "You call ill humour a crime," he remarked, "but I think you use too strong a term." "Not at all," I replied, "if that deserves the name which is so pernicious to ourselves and our neighbours. Is it not enough that we want the power to make one another happy, must we deprive each other of the pleasure which we can all make for ourselves? Show me the man who has the courage to hide his ill-humour, who bears the whole burden himself, without disturbing the peace of those around him. No: ill-humour arises from an inward consciousness of our own want of merit, from a discontent which ever accompanies that envy which foolish vanity engenders. We see people happy, whom we have not made so, and cannot endure the sight." Charlotte looked at me with a smile; she observed the emotion with which I spoke: and a tear in the eyes of Frederica stimulated me to proceed. "Woe unto those," I said, "who use their power over a human heart to destroy the simple pleasures it would naturally enjoy! All the favours, all the attentions, in the world cannot compensate for the loss of that happiness which a cruel tyranny has destroyed." My heart was full as I spoke. A recollection of many things which had happened pressed upon my mind, and filled my eyes with tears. "We should daily repeat to ourselves," I exclaimed, "that we should not interfere with our friends, unless to leave them in possession of their own joys, and increase their happiness by sharing it with them! But when their souls are tormented by a violent passion, or their hearts rent with grief, is it in your power to afford them the slightest consolation?

"I'd love to hear one," Charlotte said. "At least, I really believe a lot depends on us; that’s definitely true for me. When something annoys me and disrupts my mood, I rush to the garden, hum a couple of folk tunes, and everything feels fine again." "That’s exactly what I meant," I replied. "Bad moods are like laziness: they're part of who we are; but if we find the courage to push ourselves, we discover our tasks are much easier and we actually enjoy the activity we were avoiding." Frederica listened closely, and the young man argued that we aren't in control of ourselves, and even less so of our emotions. "We’re talking about an unpleasant feeling," I added, "which everyone wants to escape, but no one knows their own strength until they try. Sick people are eager to see doctors and follow strict routines and take bitter medicines just to get their health back." I noticed the kind old man nodding his head, trying to hear our conversation, so I raised my voice and spoke directly to him. "We preach against many sins," I said, "but I can’t remember a sermon specifically about bad moods." "That might be fine for your city priests," he said, "but country folks aren’t usually grumpy; though, now that you mention it, it could be helpful, sometimes, for my wife and the judge." We all laughed, and he laughed heartily too until he had a coughing fit that interrupted us for a moment. Herr Schmidt brought the topic back. "You call bad moods a sin," he noted, "but I think that’s a bit strong." "Not at all," I replied, "if it’s something that harms both ourselves and those around us. Isn’t it enough that we lack the ability to make each other happy? Do we also have to take away the joy we can create for ourselves? Show me someone who has the courage to hide their bad mood, who carries all their burdens alone without disrupting the peace of others. No: bad moods come from an inner awareness of our own shortcomings, from discontent that always tags along with envy that foolish pride creates. We see people happy whom we haven’t made happy, and we can’t stand it." Charlotte smiled at me, noticing the emotion in my voice; and a tear in Frederica’s eyes encouraged me to continue. "Woe to those," I said, "who use their power over someone’s heart to take away the simple joys it could experience! No amount of favors or attention can make up for the happiness lost to a cruel oppression." My heart was heavy as I spoke. Memories of many past events weighed on my mind and filled my eyes with tears. "We should remind ourselves every day," I exclaimed, "that we shouldn’t interfere with our friends, except to let them enjoy their own joys and increase their happiness by sharing it with them! But when their souls are tormented by intense emotions or their hearts are broken with grief, can you really offer them even the slightest comfort?

"And when the last fatal malady seizes the being whose untimely grave you have prepared, when she lies languid and exhausted before you, her dim eyes raised to heaven, and the damp of death upon her pallid brow, there you stand at her bedside like a condemned criminal, with the bitter feeling that your whole fortune could not save her; and the agonising thought wrings you, that all your efforts are powerless to impart even a moment's strength to the departing soul, or quicken her with a transitory consolation."

"And when the last deadly illness takes hold of the person whose early grave you have prepared, as she lies weak and drained before you, her faded eyes looking up to the sky, and the chill of death on her pale forehead, there you stand at her bedside like a convicted criminal, overwhelmed by the bitter realization that your entire fortune couldn’t save her; and the painful thought grips you, knowing that all your efforts are useless to give her even a moment of strength or bring her a fleeting comfort."

At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had been once present fell with full force upon my heart. I buried my face in my handkerchief, and hastened from the room, and was only recalled to my recollection by Charlotte's voice, who reminded me that it was time to return home. With what tenderness she chid me on the way for the too eager interest I took in everything! She declared it would do me injury, and that I ought to spare myself. Yes, my angel! I will do so for your sake.

At those words, the memory of a similar scene I had once witnessed hit me hard. I buried my face in my handkerchief and rushed out of the room, only to be brought back to reality by Charlotte's voice, reminding me it was time to go home. With such tenderness, she scolded me along the way for being too emotionally invested in everything! She insisted it would harm me and that I needed to take care of myself. Yes, my angel! I will do that for you.

JULY 6.

JULY 6th.

She is still with her dying friend, and is still the same bright, beautiful creature whose presence softens pain, and sheds happiness around whichever way she turns. She went out yesterday with her little sisters: I knew it, and went to meet them; and we walked together. In about an hour and a half we returned to the town. We stopped at the spring I am so fond of, and which is now a thousand times dearer to me than ever. Charlotte seated herself upon the low wall, and we gathered about her. I looked around, and recalled the time when my heart was unoccupied and free. "Dear fountain!" I said, "since that time I have no more come to enjoy cool repose by thy fresh stream: I have passed thee with careless steps, and scarcely bestowed a glance upon thee." I looked down, and observed Charlotte's little sister, Jane, coming up the steps with a glass of water. I turned toward Charlotte, and I felt her influence over me. Jane at the moment approached with the glass. Her sister, Marianne, wished to take it from her. "No!" cried the child, with the sweetest expression of face, "Charlotte must drink first."

She is still with her dying friend and remains the same bright, beautiful person whose presence eases pain and spreads happiness wherever she goes. Yesterday, she went out with her little sisters; I knew it and went to meet them, and we walked together. About an hour and a half later, we returned to town. We stopped at the spring I love so much, which is now a thousand times more precious to me than ever. Charlotte sat down on the low wall, and we gathered around her. I looked around and remembered the time when my heart was unoccupied and free. "Dear fountain!" I said, "since then I haven't come to enjoy the cool peace by your fresh stream: I have passed you by carelessly and barely glanced your way." I looked down and saw Charlotte's little sister, Jane, coming up the steps with a glass of water. I turned to Charlotte and felt her influence on me. At that moment, Jane approached with the glass. Her sister, Marianne, wanted to take it from her. "No!" the child exclaimed, with the sweetest expression on her face, "Charlotte must drink first."

The affection and simplicity with which this was uttered so charmed me, that I sought to express my feelings by catching up the child and kissing her heartily. She was frightened, and began to cry. "You should not do that," said Charlotte: I felt perplexed. "Come, Jane," she continued, taking her hand, and leading her down the steps again, "it is no matter: wash yourself quickly in the fresh water." I stood and watched them; and when I saw the little dear rubbing her cheeks with her wet hands, in full belief that all the impurities contracted from my ugly beard would be washed off by the miraculous water, and how, though Charlotte said it would do, she continued still to wash with all her might, as though she thought too much were better than too little, I assure you, Wilhelm, I never attended a baptism with greater reverence; and, when Charlotte came up from the well, I could have prostrated myself as before the prophet of an Eastern nation.

The warmth and simplicity with which this was said charmed me so much that I wanted to show my feelings by picking up the child and giving her a big kiss. She got scared and started to cry. "You shouldn’t do that," Charlotte said, and I felt confused. "Come, Jane," she continued, taking her hand and leading her down the steps again, "it’s no big deal: just wash your face quickly in the fresh water." I stood there watching them, and when I saw the little one scrubbing her cheeks with her wet hands, fully believing that all the dirt from my ugly beard would be washed away by the magical water, and how, even though Charlotte said that was enough, she kept washing with all her might as if more was better than less, I can tell you, Wilhelm, I never attended a baptism with greater reverence; and when Charlotte came up from the well, I could have bowed down like I was before a prophet of an Eastern nation.

In the evening I would not resist telling the story to a person who, I thought, possessed some natural feeling, because he was a man of understanding. But what a mistake I made. He maintained it was very wrong of Charlotte, that we should not deceive children, that such things occasioned countless mistakes and superstitions, from which we were bound to protect the young. It occurred to me then, that this very man had been baptised only a week before; so I said nothing further, but maintained the justice of my own convictions. We should deal with children as God deals with us, we are happiest under the influence of innocent delusions.

In the evening, I couldn't help but share the story with someone I thought had some natural empathy because he was an insightful guy. But what a mistake that was. He argued it was very wrong of Charlotte, that we shouldn’t lie to kids, and that such things lead to countless misunderstandings and superstitions, which we need to shield the young from. It struck me then that this guy had just been baptized a week earlier, so I didn’t say anything more and stuck to my beliefs. We should treat children the way God treats us; we’re happiest when we can enjoy innocent illusions.

JULY 8.

July 8.

What a child is man that he should be so solicitous about a look! What a child is man! We had been to Walheim: the ladies went in a carriage; but during our walk I thought I saw in Charlotte's dark eyes—I am a fool—but forgive me! you should see them,—those eyes.—However, to be brief (for my own eyes are weighed down with sleep), you must know, when the ladies stepped into their carriage again, young W. Seldstadt, Andran, and I were standing about the door. They are a merry set of fellows, and they were all laughing and joking together. I watched Charlotte's eyes. They wandered from one to the other; but they did not light on me, on me, who stood there motionless, and who saw nothing but her! My heart bade her a thousand times adieu, but she noticed me not. The carriage drove off; and my eyes filled with tears. I looked after her: suddenly I saw Charlotte's bonnet leaning out of the window, and she turned to look back, was it at me? My dear friend, I know not; and in this uncertainty I find consolation. Perhaps she turned to look at me. Perhaps! Good-night—what a child I am!

What a child man is to be so concerned about a glance! What a child man is! We had been to Walheim: the ladies rode in a carriage; but during our walk, I thought I saw something in Charlotte's dark eyes—I’m such a fool—but forgive me! You should see them—those eyes. To be brief (since I’m practically falling asleep), you should know that when the ladies got back into their carriage, young W. Seldstadt, Andran, and I were standing by the door. They’re a lively group, always laughing and joking together. I was watching Charlotte’s eyes. They drifted from one person to the next, but they didn’t land on me, on me, who stood there frozen, seeing nothing but her! My heart said goodbye a thousand times, but she didn’t notice me. The carriage pulled away, and my eyes filled with tears. I looked after her; suddenly, I saw Charlotte’s bonnet sticking out of the window, and she turned to look back—was it at me? My dear friend, I don’t know; and in this uncertainty, I find some comfort. Maybe she did look at me. Maybe! Goodnight—what a child I am!

JULY 10.

JULY 10.

You should see how foolish I look in company when her name is mentioned, particularly when I am asked plainly how I like her. How I like her! I detest the phrase. What sort of creature must he be who merely liked Charlotte, whose whole heart and senses were not entirely absorbed by her. Like her! Some one asked me lately how I liked Ossian.

You should see how ridiculous I look in social situations when her name comes up, especially when someone asks me directly how I feel about her. How I feel about her! I hate that phrase. What kind of person could just like Charlotte, whose entire heart and senses aren't completely consumed by her? Like her! Someone recently asked me how I felt about Ossian.

JULY 11.

July 11.

Madame M— is very ill. I pray for her recovery, because Charlotte shares my sufferings. I see her occasionally at my friend's house, and to-day she has told me the strangest circumstance. Old M— is a covetous, miserly fellow, who has long worried and annoyed the poor lady sadly; but she has borne her afflictions patiently. A few days ago, when the physician informed us that her recovery was hopeless, she sent for her husband (Charlotte was present), and addressed him thus: "I have something to confess, which, after my decease, may occasion trouble and confusion. I have hitherto conducted your household as frugally and economically as possible, but you must pardon me for having defrauded you for thirty years. At the commencement of our married life, you allowed a small sum for the wants of the kitchen, and the other household expenses. When our establishment increased and our property grew larger, I could not persuade you to increase the weekly allowance in proportion: in short, you know, that, when our wants were greatest, you required me to supply everything with seven florins a week. I took the money from you without an observation, but made up the weekly deficiency from the money-chest; as nobody would suspect your wife of robbing the household bank. But I have wasted nothing, and should have been content to meet my eternal Judge without this confession, if she, upon whom the management of your establishment will devolve after my decease, would be free from embarrassment upon your insisting that the allowance made to me, your former wife, was sufficient."

Madame M— is very ill. I’m praying for her recovery because Charlotte is suffering alongside me. I see her occasionally at my friend’s house, and today she shared the strangest story. Old M— is a greedy, stingy man who has long troubled the poor lady, but she has endured her hardships patiently. A few days ago, when the doctor told us that her recovery was hopeless, she called for her husband (Charlotte was there), and said to him: “I have something to confess that might cause trouble and confusion after I’m gone. I have managed your household as frugally and efficiently as possible, but you must forgive me for having cheated you for thirty years. At the beginning of our marriage, you provided a small amount for the kitchen and other household expenses. When our household grew and our wealth increased, I couldn’t convince you to raise the weekly budget accordingly: in short, you know that when our needs were greatest, you expected me to manage everything on seven florins a week. I took that money from you without a word, but covered the weekly shortfall from the money chest; no one would suspect your wife of stealing from the household funds. But I didn’t waste anything, and I would have been fine meeting my eternal Judge without this confession, if the person who takes over your household after my death could be free from embarrassment when you insist that the allowance you gave me, your former wife, was sufficient.”

I talked with Charlotte of the inconceivable manner in which men allow themselves to be blinded; how any one could avoid suspecting some deception, when seven florins only were allowed to defray expenses twice as great. But I have myself known people who believed, without any visible astonishment, that their house possessed the prophet's never-failing cruse of oil.

I spoke with Charlotte about the unbelievable way that men let themselves be fooled; how anyone could fail to suspect some kind of trick when only seven florins were set aside to cover expenses that were double that amount. But I have personally known people who, without any visible surprise, believed that their house had the prophet's endless supply of oil.

JULY 13.

JULY 13.

No, I am not deceived. In her dark eyes I read a genuine interest in me and in my fortunes. Yes, I feel it; and I may believe my own heart which tells me—dare I say it?—dare I pronounce the divine words?—that she loves me!

No, I'm not fooled. In her dark eyes, I see a real interest in me and my life. Yes, I feel it; and I can trust my own heart that tells me—should I say it?—should I utter those beautiful words?—that she loves me!

That she loves me! How the idea exalts me in my own eyes! And, as you can understand my feelings, I may say to you, how I honour myself since she loves me!

That she loves me! How that thought lifts my spirits! And, since you can understand how I feel, I can tell you how much I value myself now that she loves me!

Is this presumption, or is it a consciousness of the truth? I do not know a man able to supplant me in the heart of Charlotte; and yet when she speaks of her betrothed with so much warmth and affection, I feel like the soldier who has been stripped of his honours and titles, and deprived of his sword.

Is this just my assumption, or is it an awareness of the truth? I don’t know anyone who could take my place in Charlotte’s heart; and yet, when she talks about her fiancé with such warmth and affection, I feel like a soldier who has lost his honors and titles and taken away his sword.

JULY 16.

JULY 16th.

How my heart beats when by accident I touch her finger, or my feet meet hers under the table! I draw back as if from a furnace; but a secret force impels me forward again, and my senses become disordered. Her innocent, unconscious heart never knows what agony these little familiarities inflict upon me. Sometimes when we are talking she lays her hand upon mine, and in the eagerness of conversation comes closer to me, and her balmy breath reaches my lips,—when I feel as if lightning had struck me, and that I could sink into the earth. And yet, Wilhelm, with all this heavenly confidence,—if I know myself, and should ever dare—you understand me. No, no! my heart is not so corrupt, it is weak, weak enough but is not that a degree of corruption?

How my heart races when I accidentally touch her finger, or when our feet brush against each other under the table! I pull away like I'm touching a hot furnace; but a hidden force pushes me to move closer again, and my senses get all mixed up. Her innocent, unaware heart has no idea what pain these little gestures cause me. Sometimes when we're talking, she puts her hand on mine, and in the excitement of the conversation, she comes closer, her sweet breath brushing against my lips—at that moment, I feel like I've been struck by lightning, and I could just melt into the ground. And yet, Wilhelm, despite all this heavenly trust—if I really know myself, and if I ever dared—you get what I mean. No, no! My heart isn't that corrupt; it's weak, really weak, but isn't that a kind of corruption?

She is to me a sacred being. All passion is still in her presence: I cannot express my sensations when I am near her. I feel as if my soul beat in every nerve of my body. There is a melody which she plays on the piano with angelic skill,—so simple is it, and yet so spiritual! It is her favourite air; and, when she plays the first note, all pain, care, and sorrow disappear from me in a moment.

She is a sacred presence to me. All passion fades when she’s around: I can’t put into words what I feel when I’m near her. It’s like my soul is alive in every nerve of my body. There's a melody she plays on the piano with angelic skill—so simple yet so spiritual! It’s her favorite tune, and when she plays the first note, all my pain, worries, and sadness vanish in an instant.

I believe every word that is said of the magic of ancient music. How her simple song enchants me! Sometimes, when I am ready to commit suicide, she sings that air; and instantly the gloom and madness which hung over me are dispersed, and I breathe freely again.

I believe every word about the magic of ancient music. How her simple song captivates me! Sometimes, when I'm feeling suicidal, she sings that tune; and immediately the darkness and madness that surrounded me disappear, and I can breathe freely again.

JULY 18.

JULY 18.

Wilhelm, what is the world to our hearts without love? What is a magic-lantern without light? You have but to kindle the flame within, and the brightest figures shine on the white wall; and, if love only show us fleeting shadows, we are yet happy, when, like mere children, we behold them, and are transported with the splendid phantoms. I have not been able to see Charlotte to-day. I was prevented by company from which I could not disengage myself. What was to be done? I sent my servant to her house, that I might at least see somebody to-day who had been near her. Oh, the impatience with which I waited for his return! the joy with which I welcomed him! I should certainly have caught him in my arms, and kissed him, if I had not been ashamed.

Wilhelm, what is the world to our hearts without love? What is a projector without light? You just need to ignite the flame inside, and the brightest images light up the white wall; and even if love only shows us fleeting shadows, we are still happy when, like little kids, we see them and are enchanted by the beautiful illusions. I wasn’t able to see Charlotte today. I was held up by company I couldn’t escape. What could I do? I sent my servant to her house so I could at least see someone today who had been close to her. Oh, the impatience with which I waited for his return! The joy with which I welcomed him! I would have definitely caught him in my arms and kissed him if I hadn’t felt embarrassed.

It is said that the Bonona stone, when placed in the sun, attracts the rays, and for a time appears luminous in the dark. So was it with me and this servant. The idea that Charlotte's eyes had dwelt on his countenance, his cheek, his very apparel, endeared them all inestimably to me, so that at the moment I would not have parted from him for a thousand crowns. His presence made me so happy! Beware of laughing at me, Wilhelm. Can that be a delusion which makes us happy?

It’s said that the Bonona stone, when put in the sunlight, attracts the rays and for a while looks bright in the dark. I felt the same way about this servant. The thought that Charlotte had looked at his face, his cheek, and even his clothes made me value them all immensely, so much that, at that moment, I wouldn’t have given him up for a thousand crowns. His presence made me so happy! Don’t laugh at me, Wilhelm. Can something that brings us joy really be an illusion?

JULY 19.

JULY 19.

"I shall see her today!" I exclaim with delight, when I rise in the morning, and look out with gladness of heart at the bright, beautiful sun. "I shall see her today!" And then I have no further wish to form: all, all is included in that one thought.

"I'll see her today!" I say joyfully as I get up in the morning and look out with a happy heart at the bright, beautiful sun. "I'll see her today!" And from that moment on, I have no other wish: everything is wrapped up in that one thought.

JULY 20.

JULY 20.

I cannot assent to your proposal that I should accompany the ambassador to ———. I do not love subordination; and we all know that he is a rough, disagreeable person to be connected with. You say my mother wishes me to be employed. I could not help laughing at that. Am I not sufficiently employed? And is it not in reality the same, whether I shell peas or count lentils? The world runs on from one folly to another; and the man who, solely from regard to the opinion of others, and without any wish or necessity of his own, toils after gold, honour, or any other phantom, is no better than a fool.

I can’t agree to your suggestion that I should go with the ambassador to ———. I don’t like being in a subordinate position, and we all know he’s a rough, unpleasant person to be around. You say my mom wants me to have a job. I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Am I not busy enough? And does it really matter if I’m shelling peas or counting lentils? The world just goes from one foolish thing to another; and a person who, just to please others and without any real desire or need of their own, chases after money, status, or any other illusion, is no better than a fool.

JULY 24.

JULY 24.

You insist so much on my not neglecting my drawing, that it would be as well for me to say nothing as to confess how little I have lately done.

You insist so much on me not neglecting my drawing that it would be just as pointless for me to say anything as to admit how little I've done lately.

I never felt happier, I never understood nature better, even down to the veriest stem or smallest blade of grass; and yet I am unable to express myself: my powers of execution are so weak, everything seems to swim and float before me, so that I cannot make a clear, bold outline. But I fancy I should succeed better if I had some clay or wax to model. I shall try, if this state of mind continues much longer, and will take to modelling, if I only knead dough.

I’ve never felt happier, and I’ve never understood nature better, even down to the tiniest stem or smallest blade of grass; yet, I can't seem to express myself: my ability to execute my thoughts is so weak that everything feels hazy and floating in front of me, making it hard to create a clear, bold outline. But I think I’d do better if I had some clay or wax to work with. I’ll give it a shot if this state of mind lasts much longer, and I’ll start sculpting, even if it’s just kneading dough.

I have commenced Charlotte's portrait three times, and have as often disgraced myself. This is the more annoying, as I was formerly very happy in taking likenesses. I have since sketched her profile, and must content myself with that.

I’ve started Charlotte’s portrait three times, and each time I’ve embarrassed myself. This is especially frustrating because I used to be really good at capturing likenesses. I’ve since sketched her profile and have to settle for that.

JULY 25.

JULY 25.

Yes, dear Charlotte! I will order and arrange everything. Only give me more commissions, the more the better. One thing, however, I must request: use no more writing-sand with the dear notes you send me. Today I raised your letter hastily to my lips, and it set my teeth on edge.

Yes, dear Charlotte! I'll take care of everything. Just send me more tasks; the more, the better. However, I do have one request: please don't use any more writing sand with the sweet notes you send me. Today, I quickly brought your letter to my lips, and it made my teeth hurt.

JULY 26.

JULY 26.

I have often determined not to see her so frequently. But who could keep such a resolution? Every day I am exposed to the temptation, and promise faithfully that to-morrow I will really stay away: but, when tomorrow comes, I find some irresistible reason for seeing her; and, before I can account for it, I am with her again. Either she has said on the previous evening "You will be sure to call to-morrow,"—and who could stay away then?—or she gives me some commission, and I find it essential to take her the answer in person; or the day is fine, and I walk to Walheim; and, when I am there, it is only half a league farther to her. I am within the charmed atmosphere, and soon find myself at her side. My grandmother used to tell us a story of a mountain of loadstone. When any vessels came near it, they were instantly deprived of their ironwork: the nails flew to the mountain, and the unhappy crew perished amidst the disjointed planks.

I’ve often decided not to see her so often. But who can stick to that? Every day I face the temptation and promise myself that tomorrow I’ll really stay away. Yet when tomorrow comes, I always find some really good reason to see her; and before I know it, I’m with her again. Either she said the night before, “You’ll definitely come by tomorrow,”—and who could resist that?—or she gives me a task, and I feel it’s essential to deliver her the answer in person; or the weather is nice, and I walk to Walheim; and once I’m there, it’s just a little farther to her place. I enter this magnetic charm, and soon I find myself at her side. My grandmother used to tell us a story about a mountain made of lodestone. Whenever ships got too close, they would lose all their metal parts: the nails would fly to the mountain, and the unfortunate crew would be left stranded among the broken planks.

JULY 30.

JULY 30.

Albert is arrived, and I must take my departure. Were he the best and noblest of men, and I in every respect his inferior, I could not endure to see him in possession of such a perfect being. Possession!—enough, Wilhelm: her betrothed is here,—a fine, worthy fellow, whom one cannot help liking. Fortunately I was not present at their meeting. It would have broken my heart! And he is so considerate: he has not given Charlotte one kiss in my presence. Heaven reward him for it! I must love him for the respect with which he treats her. He shows a regard for me, but for this I suspect I am more indebted to Charlotte than to his own fancy for me. Women have a delicate tact in such matters, and it should be so. They cannot always succeed in keeping two rivals on terms with each other; but, when they do, they are the only gainers.

Albert has arrived, and I need to leave. Even if he were the best and most admirable man, and I were completely his inferior, I couldn't stand to see him with such a perfect person. Possession!—that's enough, Wilhelm: her fiancé is here—a great, decent guy that you can't help but like. Luckily, I wasn't there when they met. It would have broken my heart! And he's so considerate: he hasn't given Charlotte a single kiss in front of me. May heaven reward him for that! I have to admire him for the respect he shows her. He has some regard for me, but I suspect it’s mainly because of Charlotte rather than his genuine interest in me. Women have a special instinct for these things, and rightfully so. They can’t always keep two rivals on good terms with each other, but when they do, they’re the ones who benefit.

I cannot help esteeming Albert. The coolness of his temper contrasts strongly with the impetuosity of mine, which I cannot conceal. He has a great deal of feeling, and is fully sensible of the treasure he possesses in Charlotte. He is free from ill-humour, which you know is the fault I detest most.

I can’t help but admire Albert. His calm demeanor really contrasts with my own impulsiveness, which I can’t hide. He has a lot of emotion, and he truly appreciates the treasure he has in Charlotte. He doesn’t have a bad temper, which you know is the one flaw I absolutely hate.

He regards me as a man of sense; and my attachment to Charlotte, and the interest I take in all that concerns her, augment his triumph and his love. I shall not inquire whether he may not at times tease her with some little jealousies; as I know, that, were I in his place, I should not be entirely free from such sensations.

He sees me as a sensible guy, and my feelings for Charlotte and my interest in everything about her only boost his confidence and affection. I won’t question whether he occasionally makes her a little jealous, since I know that if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t be completely immune to those feelings either.

But, be that as it may, my pleasure with Charlotte is over. Call it folly or infatuation, what signifies a name? The thing speaks for itself. Before Albert came, I knew all that I know now. I knew I could make no pretensions to her, nor did I offer any, that is, as far as it was possible, in the presence of so much loveliness, not to pant for its enjoyment. And now, behold me like a silly fellow, staring with astonishment when another comes in, and deprives me of my love.

But anyway, my enjoyment of Charlotte is done. Call it foolishness or a crush, what does it matter? The truth is clear. Before Albert arrived, I knew everything I know now. I realized I couldn’t pretend to have a chance with her, nor did I claim to, as much as it was possible not to long for the joy of being around such beauty. And now, here I am, like a fool, staring in disbelief when someone else comes in and takes away my love.

I bite my lips, and feel infinite scorn for those who tell me to be resigned, because there is no help for it. Let me escape from the yoke of such silly subterfuges! I ramble through the woods; and when I return to Charlotte, and find Albert sitting by her side in the summer-house in the garden, I am unable to bear it, behave like a fool, and commit a thousand extravagances. "For Heaven's sake," said Charlotte today, "let us have no more scenes like those of last night! You terrify me when you are so violent." Between ourselves, I am always away now when he visits her: and I feel delighted when I find her alone.

I bite my lips and feel endless disdain for those who tell me to just accept things because there's nothing I can do. I want to break free from such ridiculous excuses! I wander through the woods, and when I come back to Charlotte and see Albert sitting next to her in the summer house in the garden, I can't take it anymore. I act like a fool and make a million mistakes. "For heaven's sake," Charlotte said today, "let's not have any more scenes like last night! You scare me when you're so intense." Honestly, I always make sure to be away when he visits her, and I feel happy when I find her alone.

AUGUST 8.

AUGUST 8.

Believe me, dear Wilhelm, I did not allude to you when I spoke so severely of those who advise resignation to inevitable fate. I did not think it possible for you to indulge such a sentiment. But in fact you are right. I only suggest one objection. In this world one is seldom reduced to make a selection between two alternatives. There are as many varieties of conduct and opinion as there are turns of feature between an aquiline nose and a flat one.

Believe me, dear Wilhelm, I wasn't referring to you when I spoke so harshly about those who suggest acceptance of inevitable fate. I didn’t think it was possible for you to hold such a belief. But you’re right. I just want to point out one issue. In this world, we’re rarely faced with just two choices. There are as many different ways to act and think as there are variations in facial features, from an aquiline nose to a flat one.

You will, therefore, permit me to concede your entire argument, and yet contrive means to escape your dilemma.

You will, therefore, allow me to agree with your entire argument, and still find a way to escape your dilemma.

Your position is this, I hear you say: "Either you have hopes of obtaining Charlotte, or you have none. Well, in the first case, pursue your course, and press on to the fulfilment of your wishes. In the second, be a man, and shake off a miserable passion, which will enervate and destroy you." My dear friend, this is well and easily said.

Your position is this, I hear you say: "Either you hope to win Charlotte, or you don't. If you do, then go for it and work towards your goals. If you don't, then be strong and let go of a pointless obsession that will weaken and ruin you." My dear friend, this is easy to say.

But would you require a wretched being, whose life is slowly wasting under a lingering disease, to despatch himself at once by the stroke of a dagger? Does not the very disorder which consumes his strength deprive him of the courage to effect his deliverance?

But would you expect a miserable person, whose life is gradually fading due to a long illness, to take their own life immediately with a dagger? Doesn't the very illness that weakens them also rob them of the courage to free themselves?

You may answer me, if you please, with a similar analogy, "Who would not prefer the amputation of an arm to the periling of life by doubt and procrastination!" But I know not if I am right, and let us leave these comparisons.

You can respond to me, if you'd like, with a similar analogy: "Who wouldn't choose to lose an arm instead of risking their life through doubt and delay?" But I’m not sure if I’m correct, so let’s set aside these comparisons.

Enough! There are moments, Wilhelm, when I could rise up and shake it all off, and when, if I only knew where to go, I could fly from this place.

Enough! There are times, Wilhelm, when I could get up and shake it all off, and when, if I just knew where to go, I could escape from this place.

THE SAME EVENING.

THAT SAME EVENING.

My diary, which I have for some time neglected, came before me today; and I am amazed to see how deliberately I have entangled myself step by step. To have seen my position so clearly, and yet to have acted so like a child! Even still I behold the result plainly, and yet have no thought of acting with greater prudence.

My diary, which I have ignored for a while, came to my attention today; and I’m shocked to see how carefully I’ve woven myself into this mess step by step. I saw my situation so clearly, and yet I acted so naively! Even now, I see the outcome plainly, but I still can’t bring myself to act more wisely.

AUGUST 10.

AUGUST 10.

If I were not a fool, I could spend the happiest and most delightful life here. So many agreeable circumstances, and of a kind to ensure a worthy man's happiness, are seldom united. Alas! I feel it too sensibly,—the heart alone makes our happiness! To be admitted into this most charming family, to be loved by the father as a son, by the children as a father, and by Charlotte! then the noble Albert, who never disturbs my happiness by any appearance of ill-humour, receiving me with the heartiest affection, and loving me, next to Charlotte, better than all the world! Wilhelm, you would be delighted to hear us in our rambles, and conversations about Charlotte. Nothing in the world can be more absurd than our connection, and yet the thought of it often moves me to tears.

If I weren't such a fool, I could live the happiest and most enjoyable life here. It's rare to find so many pleasant circumstances coming together to ensure a good man's happiness. Unfortunately, I realize this all too well—the heart is what truly creates our happiness! To be welcomed into this lovely family, to be loved by the father like a son, by the children like a father, and by Charlotte! Then there's the noble Albert, who never disrupts my happiness with any signs of bad mood, treating me with sincere affection, and loving me, after Charlotte, more than anyone else in the world! Wilhelm, you would love to hear us chatting and roaming around, talking about Charlotte. There's nothing more ridiculous than our situation, and yet the thought of it often brings me to tears.

He tells me sometimes of her excellent mother; how, upon her death-bed, she had committed her house and children to Charlotte, and had given Charlotte herself in charge to him; how, since that time, a new spirit had taken possession of her; how, in care and anxiety for their welfare, she became a real mother to them; how every moment of her time was devoted to some labour of love in their behalf,—and yet her mirth and cheerfulness had never forsaken her. I walk by his side, pluck flowers by the way, arrange them carefully into a nosegay, then fling them into the first stream I pass, and watch them as they float gently away. I forget whether I told you that Albert is to remain here. He has received a government appointment, with a very good salary; and I understand he is in high favour at court. I have met few persons so punctual and methodical in business.

He sometimes tells me about her amazing mother; how, on her deathbed, she entrusted her home and children to Charlotte and handed Charlotte over to him to look after; how, since then, a new spirit has taken hold of her; how, with care and worry for their well-being, she became a true mother to them; how every moment of her time is dedicated to some act of love for them—and yet her joy and cheerfulness have never left her. I walk alongside him, pick flowers along the way, arrange them carefully into a bouquet, then toss them into the first stream I encounter, watching as they drift gently away. I can't remember if I mentioned that Albert is going to stay here. He got a government job with a great salary; and I've heard he’s in high favor at court. I’ve met few people who are as punctual and organized in their work.

AUGUST 12.

AUGUST 12.

Certainly Albert is the best fellow in the world. I had a strange scene with him yesterday. I went to take leave of him; for I took it into my head to spend a few days in these mountains, from where I now write to you. As I was walking up and down his room, my eye fell upon his pistols. "Lend me those pistols," said I, "for my journey." "By all means," he replied, "if you will take the trouble to load them; for they only hang there for form." I took down one of them; and he continued, "Ever since I was near suffering for my extreme caution, I will have nothing to do with such things." I was curious to hear the story. "I was staying," said he, "some three months ago, at a friend's house in the country. I had a brace of pistols with me, unloaded; and I slept without any anxiety. One rainy afternoon I was sitting by myself, doing nothing, when it occurred to me I do not know how that the house might be attacked, that we might require the pistols, that we might in short, you know how we go on fancying, when we have nothing better to do. I gave the pistols to the servant, to clean and load. He was playing with the maid, and trying to frighten her, when the pistol went off—God knows how!—the ramrod was in the barrel; and it went straight through her right hand, and shattered the thumb. I had to endure all the lamentation, and to pay the surgeon's bill; so, since that time, I have kept all my weapons unloaded. But, my dear friend, what is the use of prudence? We can never be on our guard against all possible dangers. However,"—now, you must know I can tolerate all men till they come to "however;"—for it is self-evident that every universal rule must have its exceptions. But he is so exceedingly accurate, that, if he only fancies he has said a word too precipitate, or too general, or only half true, he never ceases to qualify, to modify, and extenuate, till at last he appears to have said nothing at all. Upon this occasion, Albert was deeply immersed in his subject: I ceased to listen to him, and became lost in reverie. With a sudden motion, I pointed the mouth of the pistol to my forehead, over the right eye. "What do you mean?" cried Albert, turning back the pistol. "It is not loaded," said I. "And even if not," he answered with impatience, "what can you mean? I cannot comprehend how a man can be so mad as to shoot himself, and the bare idea of it shocks me."

Certainly, Albert is the best guy in the world. I had a weird encounter with him yesterday. I went to say goodbye because I decided to spend a few days in these mountains, where I’m writing to you from now. As I paced around his room, I noticed his pistols. “Can I borrow those pistols for my trip?” I asked. “Sure,” he replied, “if you’re willing to load them; they’re just hanging there for show.” I took one down, and he added, “Ever since I almost got in trouble for being overly cautious, I want nothing to do with such things.” I was curious to hear the story. “A few months ago," he said, "I was at a friend’s house in the countryside. I had a pair of unloaded pistols with me, and I slept without worry. One rainy afternoon, I was sitting alone doing nothing when I suddenly thought about how the house could be attacked and that we might need the pistols—just you know how our minds wander when we’re idle. I asked the servant to clean and load the pistols. He was fooling around with the maid, trying to scare her when, out of nowhere, the pistol went off—God knows how!—and the ramrod was in the barrel; it went straight through her right hand and shattered her thumb. I had to deal with all the fuss and pay the surgeon’s bill; so since then, I've kept all my weapons unloaded. But, my dear friend, what’s the point of being cautious? We can never guard against all possible dangers. However,”—now, you should know that I can tolerate everyone until they say “however”—because it’s obvious that every general rule has its exceptions. But he’s so precise that if he thinks he’s said something too rash, too broad, or only half-true, he never stops qualifying, modifying, and downplaying it until it seems like he’s said nothing at all. On this occasion, Albert was really focused on his topic: I stopped listening and got lost in thought. Suddenly, I pointed the barrel of the pistol at my forehead, just above my right eye. “What are you doing?” Albert exclaimed, pushing the pistol away. “It’s not loaded,” I replied. “And even if it isn’t,” he replied impatiently, “what are you trying to do? I can’t understand how someone could be so reckless as to shoot themselves, and just the thought of it shocks me.”

"But why should any one," said I, "in speaking of an action, venture to pronounce it mad or wise, or good or bad? What is the meaning of all this? Have you carefully studied the secret motives of our actions? Do you understand—can you explain the causes which occasion them, and make them inevitable? If you can, you will be less hasty with your decision."

"But why should anyone," I said, "when talking about an action, dare to call it crazy or smart, or good or bad? What does all this even mean? Have you really examined the hidden reasons behind our actions? Do you get—can you explain the factors that lead to them and make them unavoidable? If you can, you'll be more patient with your judgment."

"But you will allow," said Albert; "that some actions are criminal, let them spring from whatever motives they may." I granted it, and shrugged my shoulders.

"But you have to admit," said Albert, "that some actions are criminal, no matter what motives they come from." I agreed and shrugged my shoulders.

"But still, my good friend," I continued, "there are some exceptions here too. Theft is a crime; but the man who commits it from extreme poverty, with no design but to save his family from perishing, is he an object of pity, or of punishment? Who shall throw the first stone at a husband, who, in the heat of just resentment, sacrifices his faithless wife and her perfidious seducer? or at the young maiden, who, in her weak hour of rapture, forgets herself in the impetuous joys of love? Even our laws, cold and cruel as they are, relent in such cases, and withhold their punishment."

"But still, my good friend," I continued, "there are some exceptions here too. Theft is a crime, but what about the person who steals out of extreme poverty, with no other intention than to save their family from starving? Is that person someone to pity or to punish? Who would have the right to judge a husband who, in a moment of justified anger, takes the life of his unfaithful wife and her deceitful lover? Or what about the young woman who, in a moment of weakness and passion, loses herself in the overwhelming joys of love? Even our laws, harsh and unforgiving as they are, show some mercy in situations like these and hold back their punishment."

"That is quite another thing," said Albert; "because a man under the influence of violent passion loses all power of reflection, and is regarded as intoxicated or insane."

"That’s a totally different situation," said Albert. "When a person is overcome by intense emotions, they lose all ability to think clearly and are seen as drunk or crazy."

"Oh! you people of sound understandings," I replied, smiling, "are ever ready to exclaim 'Extravagance, and madness, and intoxication!' You moral men are so calm and so subdued! You abhor the drunken man, and detest the extravagant; you pass by, like the Levite, and thank God, like the Pharisee, that you are not like one of them. I have been more than once intoxicated, my passions have always bordered on extravagance: I am not ashamed to confess it; for I have learned, by my own experience, that all extraordinary men, who have accomplished great and astonishing actions, have ever been decried by the world as drunken or insane. And in private life, too, is it not intolerable that no one can undertake the execution of a noble or generous deed, without giving rise to the exclamation that the doer is intoxicated or mad? Shame upon you, ye sages!"

"Oh! you people who think you’re so sensible," I replied, smiling, "are always quick to shout 'What a waste, and you're out of your mind, and drunk!' You moral types are so calm and so reserved! You look down on the drunk and can’t stand the extravagant; you just walk by, like the Levite, and thank God, like the Pharisee, that you’re not like them. I’ve been drunk more than once, and my passions have always leaned toward extravagance: I’m not ashamed to admit it; because I’ve learned from my own experiences that all remarkable individuals, who achieve great and surprising things, have always been labeled by society as drunk or crazy. And isn’t it ridiculous that, in everyday life, no one can attempt to do something noble or generous without sparking the claim that they’re drunk or mad? Shame on you, you wise ones!"

"This is another of your extravagant humours," said Albert: "you always exaggerate a case, and in this matter you are undoubtedly wrong; for we were speaking of suicide, which you compare with great actions, when it is impossible to regard it as anything but a weakness. It is much easier to die than to bear a life of misery with fortitude."

"This is just another one of your dramatic moods," said Albert. "You always blow things out of proportion, and in this situation, you’re definitely mistaken. We were talking about suicide, which you equate with great actions, but it really can only be seen as a weakness. It's much easier to end your life than to endure a miserable existence with strength."

I was on the point of breaking off the conversation, for nothing puts me so completely out of patience as the utterance of a wretched commonplace when I am talking from my inmost heart. However, I composed myself, for I had often heard the same observation with sufficient vexation; and I answered him, therefore, with a little warmth, "You call this a weakness—beware of being led astray by appearances. When a nation, which has long groaned under the intolerable yoke of a tyrant, rises at last and throws off its chains, do you call that weakness? The man who, to rescue his house from the flames, finds his physical strength redoubled, so that he lifts burdens with ease, which, in the absence of excitement, he could scarcely move; he who, under the rage of an insult, attacks and puts to flight half a score of his enemies, are such persons to be called weak? My good friend, if resistance be strength, how can the highest degree of resistance be a weakness?"

I was about to end the conversation because nothing annoys me more than hearing a tired old cliché when I’m speaking from the heart. However, I collected myself, as I had dealt with the same frustration many times before; so I replied with a bit of passion, "You call this a weakness—don't be fooled by appearances. When a nation that has suffered under a cruel tyrant finally rises up and shakes off its chains, is that weakness? The person who, to save their home from a fire, suddenly finds an incredible surge of strength and lifts heavy objects they could barely move otherwise; the one who, in the heat of an insult, fights off several enemies—are they weak? My dear friend, if resisting is strength, how can the greatest resistance be weakness?"

Albert looked steadfastly at me, and said, "Pray forgive me, but I do not see that the examples you have adduced bear any relation to the question." "Very likely," I answered; "for I have often been told that my style of illustration borders a little on the absurd. But let us see if we cannot place the matter in another point of view, by inquiring what can be a man's state of mind who resolves to free himself from the burden of life,—a burden often so pleasant to bear,—for we cannot otherwise reason fairly upon the subject.

Albert looked intently at me and said, "Please forgive me, but I don’t see how the examples you’ve given relate to the question." "That’s probably true," I replied; "I’ve often been told that my way of illustrating things is a bit absurd. But let’s see if we can look at it from another angle by considering what a person must be feeling when they decide to free themselves from the weight of life—a weight that can often be enjoyable to carry—because we can’t reasonably discuss the topic otherwise.

"Human nature," I continued, "has its limits. It is able to endure a certain degree of joy, sorrow, and pain, but becomes annihilated as soon as this measure is exceeded. The question, therefore, is, not whether a man is strong or weak, but whether he is able to endure the measure of his sufferings. The suffering may be moral or physical; and in my opinion it is just as absurd to call a man a coward who destroys himself, as to call a man a coward who dies of a malignant fever."

"Human nature," I went on, "has its limits. It can handle a certain amount of joy, sadness, and pain, but it breaks down when pushed beyond that point. So the real question isn't whether someone is strong or weak, but whether they can handle their suffering. That suffering might be emotional or physical; and in my view, it's just as foolish to label someone a coward for taking their own life as it is to call someone a coward for dying from a severe illness."

"Paradox, all paradox!" exclaimed Albert. "Not so paradoxical as you imagine," I replied. "You allow that we designate a disease as mortal when nature is so severely attacked, and her strength so far exhausted, that she cannot possibly recover her former condition under any change that may take place.

"Paradox, all paradox!" Albert exclaimed. "It's not as paradoxical as you think," I replied. "You agree that we call a disease fatal when the body is under such severe attack and its strength is so depleted that it can't possibly return to its previous state no matter what changes may occur."

"Now, my good friend, apply this to the mind; observe a man in his natural, isolated condition; consider how ideas work, and how impressions fasten on him, till at length a violent passion seizes him, destroying all his powers of calm reflection, and utterly ruining him.

"Now, my good friend, think about this in relation to the mind; watch a person in their natural, isolated state; consider how ideas operate and how impressions latch onto them, until eventually an intense emotion takes over, wiping out their ability to think clearly and completely devastating them."

"It is in vain that a man of sound mind and cool temper understands the condition of such a wretched being, in vain he counsels him. He can no more communicate his own wisdom to him than a healthy man can instil his strength into the invalid, by whose bedside he is seated."

"It’s useless for a rational and calm person to understand the situation of such a miserable individual; it’s pointless for him to offer advice. He can no more share his own wisdom with them than a healthy person can transfer their strength to an invalid sitting beside them."

Albert thought this too general. I reminded him of a girl who had drowned herself a short time previously, and I related her history.

Albert thought this was too vague. I reminded him of a girl who had recently drowned herself and shared her story.

She was a good creature, who had grown up in the narrow sphere of household industry and weekly appointed labour; one who knew no pleasure beyond indulging in a walk on Sundays, arrayed in her best attire, accompanied by her friends, or perhaps joining in the dance now and then at some festival, and chatting away her spare hours with a neighbour, discussing the scandal or the quarrels of the village, trifles sufficient to occupy her heart. At length the warmth of her nature is influenced by certain new and unknown wishes. Inflamed by the flatteries of men, her former pleasures become by degrees insipid, till at length she meets with a youth to whom she is attracted by an indescribable feeling; upon him she now rests all her hopes; she forgets the world around her; she sees, hears, desires nothing but him, and him only. He alone occupies all her thoughts. Uncorrupted by the idle indulgence of an enervating vanity, her affection moving steadily toward its object, she hopes to become his, and to realise, in an everlasting union with him, all that happiness which she sought, all that bliss for which she longed. His repeated promises confirm her hopes: embraces and endearments, which increase the ardour of her desires, overmaster her soul. She floats in a dim, delusive anticipation of her happiness; and her feelings become excited to their utmost tension. She stretches out her arms finally to embrace the object of all her wishes and her lover forsakes her. Stunned and bewildered, she stands upon a precipice. All is darkness around her. No prospect, no hope, no consolation—forsaken by him in whom her existence was centred! She sees nothing of the wide world before her, thinks nothing of the many individuals who might supply the void in her heart; she feels herself deserted, forsaken by the world; and, blinded and impelled by the agony which wrings her soul, she plunges into the deep, to end her sufferings in the broad embrace of death. See here, Albert, the history of thousands; and tell me, is not this a case of physical infirmity? Nature has no way to escape from the labyrinth: her powers are exhausted: she can contend no longer, and the poor soul must die.

She was a good person who had grown up in a small world of household chores and weekly tasks; someone who knew no joy beyond taking a walk on Sundays, dressed in her best clothes, hanging out with friends, or maybe joining in a dance at a festival now and then, chatting away her free time with a neighbor, discussing the gossip and quarrels of the village—trivial matters that were enough to fill her heart. Over time, the warmth of her nature is stirred by new, unfamiliar desires. Flattered by men's attention, her old pleasures gradually start to feel dull, until she meets a young man she feels inexplicably drawn to; she places all her hopes on him. She forgets everything around her; she sees, hears, and wants nothing but him, completely consumed by thoughts of him. Unaffected by the empty indulgence of vanity, her love moves steadily toward him as she hopes to become his and to experience, in a lasting union, all the happiness she’s sought and the bliss she’s longed for. His repeated promises reinforce her hopes: their embraces and sweet words intensify her desires and overwhelm her soul. She drifts in a hazy, false expectation of happiness, and her emotions reach their peak. Finally, she stretches out her arms to embrace the very person she has wished for, only to have her lover abandon her. Stunned and confused, she finds herself on the edge of a cliff. Everything around her is dark. No future, no hope, no comfort—left alone by the one who was her whole world! She sees none of the vast possibilities ahead of her, thinks of none of the many people who could fill the emptiness in her heart; she feels deserted, abandoned by the world; and, blinded and driven by the pain that twists her soul, she leaps into the abyss, seeking to end her suffering in the cold embrace of death. Look here, Albert, the story of countless others; and tell me, isn't this a case of physical weakness? Nature finds no way out of the maze: her strength is spent; she can fight no longer, and the poor soul must die.

"Shame upon him who can look on calmly, and exclaim, 'The foolish girl! she should have waited; she should have allowed time to wear off the impression; her despair would have been softened, and she would have found another lover to comfort her.' One might as well say, 'The fool, to die of a fever! why did he not wait till his strength was restored, till his blood became calm? all would then have gone well, and he would have been alive now.'"

"Shame on anyone who can look on calmly and say, 'That foolish girl! She should have waited; she should have let time ease the pain; her despair would have lessened, and she would have found another lover to support her.' One might as well say, 'What a fool, to die of a fever! Why didn't he wait until he got his strength back, until his blood became calm? Everything would have turned out fine, and he would be alive now.'"

Albert, who could not see the justice of the comparison, offered some further objections, and, amongst others, urged that I had taken the case of a mere ignorant girl. But how any man of sense, of more enlarged views and experience, could be excused, he was unable to comprehend. "My friend!" I exclaimed, "man is but man; and, whatever be the extent of his reasoning powers, they are of little avail when passion rages within, and he feels himself confined by the narrow limits of nature. It were better, then—but we will talk of this some other time," I said, and caught up my hat. Alas! my heart was full; and we parted without conviction on either side. How rarely in this world do men understand each other!

Albert, who couldn’t see the fairness of the comparison, raised some more objections and pointed out that I was talking about a simply ignorant girl. But he couldn’t grasp how a man with sense, broader perspectives, and experience could be excused. "My friend!" I said, "a man is just a man; and no matter how developed his reasoning abilities are, they don’t mean much when passion takes over and he feels trapped by the limits of human nature. It would be better, then—but we’ll discuss this another time," I said, grabbing my hat. Unfortunately, my heart was heavy, and we parted without convincing each other. How rarely do people truly understand one another in this world!

AUGUST 15.

AUGUST 15.

There can be no doubt that in this world nothing is so indispensable as love. I observe that Charlotte could not lose me without a pang, and the very children have but one wish; that is, that I should visit them again to-morrow. I went this afternoon to tune Charlotte's piano. But I could not do it, for the little ones insisted on my telling them a story; and Charlotte herself urged me to satisfy them. I waited upon them at tea, and they are now as fully contented with me as with Charlotte; and I told them my very best tale of the princess who was waited upon by dwarfs. I improve myself by this exercise, and am quite surprised at the impression my stories create. If I sometimes invent an incident which I forget upon the next narration, they remind one directly that the story was different before; so that I now endeavour to relate with exactness the same anecdote in the same monotonous tone, which never changes. I find by this, how much an author injures his works by altering them, even though they be improved in a poetical point of view. The first impression is readily received. We are so constituted that we believe the most incredible things; and, once they are engraved upon the memory, woe to him who would endeavour to efface them.

There’s no doubt that nothing is as essential as love in this world. I've noticed that Charlotte feels a pang at the thought of losing me, and the children have just one wish: for me to visit them again tomorrow. I went this afternoon to tune Charlotte's piano, but I couldn't do it because the little ones insisted that I tell them a story, and Charlotte encouraged me to entertain them. I served them tea, and now they are as happy with me as they are with Charlotte; I told them my best tale about the princess who was served by dwarfs. This experience helps me grow, and I’m quite surprised by the effect my stories have. If I occasionally invent a detail that I forget next time I tell the story, they remind me right away that it was different before. Because of that, I now try to tell the same story in the same steady tone without changing it. I realize how much an author harms their work by altering it, even if it makes it better poetically. The first impression is easily accepted. We’re made in such a way that we believe the most unbelievable things, and once they’re etched in our memory, woe to anyone who tries to erase them.

AUGUST 18.

AUGUST 18

Must it ever be thus,—that the source of our happiness must also be the fountain of our misery? The full and ardent sentiment which animated my heart with the love of nature, overwhelming me with a torrent of delight, and which brought all paradise before me, has now become an insupportable torment, a demon which perpetually pursues and harasses me. When in bygone days I gazed from these rocks upon yonder mountains across the river, and upon the green, flowery valley before me, and saw all nature budding and bursting around; the hills clothed from foot to peak with tall, thick forest trees; the valleys in all their varied windings, shaded with the loveliest woods; and the soft river gliding along amongst the lisping reeds, mirroring the beautiful clouds which the soft evening breeze wafted across the sky,—when I heard the groves about me melodious with the music of birds, and saw the million swarms of insects dancing in the last golden beams of the sun, whose setting rays awoke the humming beetles from their grassy beds, whilst the subdued tumult around directed my attention to the ground, and I there observed the arid rock compelled to yield nutriment to the dry moss, whilst the heath flourished upon the barren sands below me, all this displayed to me the inner warmth which animates all nature, and filled and glowed within my heart. I felt myself exalted by this overflowing fulness to the perception of the Godhead, and the glorious forms of an infinite universe became visible to my soul! Stupendous mountains encompassed me, abysses yawned at my feet, and cataracts fell headlong down before me; impetuous rivers rolled through the plain, and rocks and mountains resounded from afar. In the depths of the earth I saw innumerable powers in motion, and multiplying to infinity; whilst upon its surface, and beneath the heavens, there teemed ten thousand varieties of living creatures. Everything around is alive with an infinite number of forms; while mankind fly for security to their petty houses, from the shelter of which they rule in their imaginations over the wide-extended universe. Poor fool! in whose petty estimation all things are little. From the inaccessible mountains, across the desert which no mortal foot has trod, far as the confines of the unknown ocean, breathes the spirit of the eternal Creator; and every atom to which he has given existence finds favour in his sight. Ah, how often at that time has the flight of a bird, soaring above my head, inspired me with the desire of being transported to the shores of the immeasurable waters, there to quaff the pleasures of life from the foaming goblet of the Infinite, and to partake, if but for a moment even, with the confined powers of my soul, the beatitude of that Creator who accomplishes all things in himself, and through himself!

Must it always be like this—that the source of our happiness is also the cause of our misery? The deep and passionate feeling that filled my heart with love for nature, overwhelming me with joy and bringing paradise before my eyes, has now turned into unbearable torment, a demon that relentlessly chases and haunts me. In the past, when I looked from these rocks at the mountains across the river and the lush, flowery valley in front of me, seeing nature in full bloom around me—the hills covered from bottom to top with tall, thick trees; the valleys winding through the loveliest woods; and the gentle river gliding among the whispering reeds, reflecting the beautiful clouds carried by the evening breeze—when I heard the groves around me filled with the cheerful music of birds and saw countless swarms of insects dancing in the last golden rays of the sun, whose setting light stirred the humming beetles from their grassy beds, while the soft chaos surrounding me drew my attention to the ground, where I noticed the dry rock giving nutrients to the dry moss and the heath thriving on the barren sands below me, all of this revealed to me the inner warmth that energizes all nature and filled my heart with light. I felt elevated by this overflowing fullness to a perception of the divine, and the magnificent forms of an infinite universe became clear to my soul! Towering mountains surrounded me, chasms yawned at my feet, and waterfalls cascaded before me; restless rivers flowed across the plain, and rocks and mountains echoed from afar. In the depths of the earth, I saw countless forces at work, multiplying endlessly; while on the surface, beneath the sky, ten thousand varieties of living creatures thrived. Everything around me is alive with an endless array of forms; yet humanity scurries for safety into their tiny houses, from which they pretend to have control over the vast universe. Poor fool! who thinks everything is small in their limited view. From the unreachable mountains, across the desert that no human has walked, to the edge of the unknown ocean, breathes the spirit of the eternal Creator; and every particle He has brought into existence is pleasing in His sight. Ah, how often at that time has the flight of a bird soaring above my head ignited in me the desire to be transported to the shores of the endless waters, to drink in the pleasures of life from the foaming cup of the Infinite, and to share, even if just for a moment, with the limited powers of my soul, the bliss of that Creator who accomplishes everything in Himself and through Himself!

My dear friend, the bare recollection of those hours still consoles me. Even this effort to recall those ineffable sensations, and give them utterance, exalts my soul above itself, and makes me doubly feel the intensity of my present anguish.

My dear friend, just remembering those hours still comforts me. Even this attempt to recall those indescribable feelings and express them lifts my spirit and makes me feel the weight of my current suffering even more.

It is as if a curtain had been drawn from before my eyes, and, instead of prospects of eternal life, the abyss of an ever open grave yawned before me. Can we say of anything that it exists when all passes away, when time, with the speed of a storm, carries all things onward,—and our transitory existence, hurried along by the torrent, is either swallowed up by the waves or dashed against the rocks? There is not a moment but preys upon you,—and upon all around you, not a moment in which you do not yourself become a destroyer. The most innocent walk deprives of life thousands of poor insects: one step destroys the fabric of the industrious ant, and converts a little world into chaos. No: it is not the great and rare calamities of the world, the floods which sweep away whole villages, the earthquakes which swallow up our towns, that affect me. My heart is wasted by the thought of that destructive power which lies concealed in every part of universal nature. Nature has formed nothing that does not consume itself, and every object near it: so that, surrounded by earth and air, and all the active powers, I wander on my way with aching heart; and the universe is to me a fearful monster, for ever devouring its own offspring.

It feels like a curtain has been pulled away from my eyes, and instead of seeing the promise of eternal life, I’m confronted with the endless void of an open grave. Can we really say anything exists when everything eventually fades away, when time rushes forward like a storm, pushing all things along—and our fleeting existence, swept up in this torrent, either gets swallowed by the waves or smashed against the rocks? There isn't a single moment that doesn’t prey on you—and on everything around you. Every moment, you become a destroyer. Even the most innocent stroll takes the lives of thousands of little insects: one step destroys the work of an industrious ant, turning a small world into chaos. No, it’s not the major, rare disasters, like floods that wash away entire villages or earthquakes that bury our towns, that trouble me. My heart sinks at the thought of the destructive power hidden in every aspect of nature. Nature has created nothing that doesn’t ultimately consume itself and everything nearby; so here I am, surrounded by earth, air, and all the active forces, wandering with a heavy heart. To me, the universe feels like a terrifying monster, forever devouring its own offspring.

AUGUST 21.

AUGUST 21st.

In vain do I stretch out my arms toward her when I awaken in the morning from my weary slumbers. In vain do I seek for her at night in my bed, when some innocent dream has happily deceived me, and placed her near me in the fields, when I have seized her hand and covered it with countless kisses. And when I feel for her in the half confusion of sleep, with the happy sense that she is near, tears flow from my oppressed heart; and, bereft of all comfort, I weep over my future woes.

In vain do I reach out for her when I wake up in the morning from my tired sleep. In vain do I look for her at night in my bed, when some sweet dream has tricked me into thinking she's beside me in the fields, where I grab her hand and cover it with countless kisses. And when I reach for her in the hazy confusion of sleep, feeling the happy sense that she is close, tears stream from my heavy heart; and, without any comfort, I cry over my future sorrows.

AUGUST 22.

AUGUST 22nd.

What a misfortune, Wilhelm! My active spirits have degenerated into contented indolence. I cannot be idle, and yet I am unable to set to work. I cannot think: I have no longer any feeling for the beauties of nature, and books are distasteful to me. Once we give ourselves up, we are totally lost. Many a time and oft I wish I were a common labourer; that, awakening in the morning, I might have but one prospect, one pursuit, one hope, for the day which has dawned. I often envy Albert when I see him buried in a heap of papers and parchments, and I fancy I should be happy were I in his place. Often impressed with this feeling I have been on the point of writing to you and to the minister, for the appointment at the embassy, which you think I might obtain. I believe I might procure it. The minister has long shown a regard for me, and has frequently urged me to seek employment. It is the business of an hour only. Now and then the fable of the horse recurs to me. Weary of liberty, he suffered himself to be saddled and bridled, and was ridden to death for his pains. I know not what to determine upon. For is not this anxiety for change the consequence of that restless spirit which would pursue me equally in every situation of life?

What a misfortune, Wilhelm! My once lively spirit has turned into a happy laziness. I can't stand being idle, yet I can't seem to get started on anything. I can't think; I've lost my appreciation for the beauty of nature, and reading has become unappealing. Once we surrender ourselves, we are completely lost. Many times, I wish I were just a regular worker; then, when I wake up in the morning, I would have just one goal, one task, one hope for the day ahead. I often envy Albert when I see him buried in piles of papers and documents, and I imagine I would be happy in his shoes. I'm often tempted to write to you and the minister about the job at the embassy that you believe I could get. I think I could actually land it. The minister has shown me kindness for a long time and has often encouraged me to look for work. It only takes an hour to sort out. Sometimes, I remember the fable of the horse. Tired of freedom, he let himself be saddled and bridled, only to be worked to death. I don't know what to decide. Is this craving for change just a result of that restless spirit that would follow me no matter where I am in life?

AUGUST 28.

AUGUST 28.

If my ills would admit of any cure, they would certainly be cured here. This is my birthday, and early in the morning I received a packet from Albert. Upon opening it, I found one of the pink ribbons which Charlotte wore in her dress the first time I saw her, and which I had several times asked her to give me. With it were two volumes in duodecimo of Wetstein's "Homer," a book I had often wished for, to save me the inconvenience of carrying the large Ernestine edition with me upon my walks. You see how they anticipate my wishes, how well they understand all those little attentions of friendship, so superior to the costly presents of the great, which are humiliating. I kissed the ribbon a thousand times, and in every breath inhaled the remembrance of those happy and irrevocable days which filled me with the keenest joy. Such, Wilhelm, is our fate. I do not murmur at it: the flowers of life are but visionary. How many pass away, and leave no trace behind—how few yield any fruit—and the fruit itself, how rarely does it ripen! And yet there are flowers enough! and is it not strange, my friend, that we should suffer the little that does really ripen, to rot, decay, and perish unenjoyed? Farewell! This is a glorious summer. I often climb into the trees in Charlotte's orchard, and shake down the pears that hang on the highest branches. She stands below, and catches them as they fall.

If my troubles could be cured, they would definitely be fixed here. This is my birthday, and early this morning I got a package from Albert. When I opened it, I found one of the pink ribbons that Charlotte wore in her dress the first time I saw her, which I had asked her for several times. Along with it were two small volumes of Wetstein's "Homer," a book I had often wanted, so I wouldn't have to deal with carrying the large Ernestine edition with me on my walks. You can see how they anticipate my wishes, how well they understand those little gestures of friendship, far better than the expensive gifts from the wealthy, which feel demeaning. I kissed the ribbon a thousand times and inhaled the memory of those happy and unforgettable days that brought me the greatest joy. Such is our fate, Wilhelm; I don’t complain about it: the joys of life are just illusions. So many come and go, leaving no mark behind—so few bear any fruit—and the fruit itself, how rarely does it mature! Yet there are plenty of flowers! And isn’t it odd, my friend, that we let the few that do ripen rot, decay, and fade away without enjoying them? Goodbye! It’s a glorious summer. I often climb into the trees in Charlotte's orchard and shake down the pears that hang on the highest branches. She stands below and catches them as they fall.

AUGUST 30.

AUGUST 30th.

Unhappy being that I am! Why do I thus deceive myself? What is to come of all this wild, aimless, endless passion? I cannot pray except to her. My imagination sees nothing but her: all surrounding objects are of no account, except as they relate to her. In this dreamy state I enjoy many happy hours, till at length I feel compelled to tear myself away from her. Ah, Wilhelm, to what does not my heart often compel me! When I have spent several hours in her company, till I feel completely absorbed by her figure, her grace, the divine expression of her thoughts, my mind becomes gradually excited to the highest excess, my sight grows dim, my hearing confused, my breathing oppressed as if by the hand of a murderer, and my beating heart seeks to obtain relief for my aching senses. I am sometimes unconscious whether I really exist. If in such moments I find no sympathy, and Charlotte does not allow me to enjoy the melancholy consolation of bathing her hand with my tears, I feel compelled to tear myself from her, when I either wander through the country, climb some precipitous cliff, or force a path through the trackless thicket, where I am lacerated and torn by thorns and briers; and thence I find relief. Sometimes I lie stretched on the ground, overcome with fatigue and dying with thirst; sometimes, late in the night, when the moon shines above me, I recline against an aged tree in some sequestered forest, to rest my weary limbs, when, exhausted and worn, I sleep till break of day. O Wilhelm! the hermit's cell, his sackcloth, and girdle of thorns would be luxury and indulgence compared with what I suffer. Adieu! I see no end to this wretchedness except the grave.

Unhappy being that I am! Why do I keep deceiving myself? What is going to come of all this wild, aimless, endless passion? I can only pray to her. My mind sees nothing but her: everything else around me doesn’t matter, except as it relates to her. In this dreamy state, I have many happy hours, until I eventually feel forced to pull myself away from her. Ah, Wilhelm, my heart often leads me to strange places! After spending several hours with her, feeling completely absorbed by her figure, her grace, the divine expression of her thoughts, my mind gets more and more excited, my sight grows dim, my hearing gets confused, my breathing is heavy like I’m being smothered, and my pounding heart searches for relief from my aching senses. Sometimes I even forget if I really exist. If in those moments I feel no sympathy, and Charlotte doesn’t let me enjoy the sad consolation of bathing her hand with my tears, I feel compelled to pull away from her, either wandering through the countryside, climbing some steep cliff, or pushing my way through a dense thicket, where I get scratched and torn by thorns and brambles; and from there I find relief. Sometimes I lie stretched out on the ground, exhausted and dying of thirst; other times, late at night when the moon shines above me, I lean against an old tree in a secluded forest to rest my weary body, and there, worn out, I sleep until dawn. O Wilhelm! The hermit's cell, his rough clothing, and belt of thorns would be luxury compared to what I suffer. Goodbye! I see no end to this misery except for the grave.

SEPTEMBER 3.

SEPTEMBER 3rd.

I must away. Thank you, Wilhelm, for determining my wavering purpose. For a whole fortnight I have thought of leaving her. I must away. She has returned to town, and is at the house of a friend. And then, Albert—yes, I must go.

I have to go. Thank you, Wilhelm, for helping me decide what to do. For two whole weeks, I've been thinking about leaving her. I have to go. She’s back in town, staying at a friend's house. And then, Albert—yes, I have to go.

SEPTEMBER 10.

SEPTEMBER 10th.

Oh, what a night, Wilhelm! I can henceforth bear anything. I shall never see her again. Oh, why cannot I fall on your neck, and, with floods of tears and raptures, give utterance to all the passions which distract my heart! Here I sit gasping for breath, and struggling to compose myself. I wait for day, and at sunrise the horses are to be at the door.

Oh, what a night, Wilhelm! I can handle anything from now on. I’ll never see her again. Oh, why can’t I throw my arms around you and, with tears and joy, express all the feelings that are overwhelming my heart! Here I sit, gasping for breath and trying to pull myself together. I’m waiting for daybreak, and the horses are supposed to be ready at the door at sunrise.

And she is sleeping calmly, little suspecting that she has seen me for the last time. I am free. I have had the courage, in an interview of two hours' duration, not to betray my intention. And O Wilhelm, what a conversation it was!

And she’s sleeping peacefully, unaware that she has seen me for the last time. I am free. I had the courage during our two-hour conversation not to reveal my plans. And oh Wilhelm, what a conversation it was!

Albert had promised to come to Charlotte in the garden immediately after supper. I was upon the terrace under the tall chestnut trees, and watched the setting sun. I saw him sink for the last time beneath this delightful valley and silent stream. I had often visited the same spot with Charlotte, and witnessed that glorious sight; and now—I was walking up and down the very avenue which was so dear to me. A secret sympathy had frequently drawn me thither before I knew Charlotte; and we were delighted when, in our early acquaintance, we discovered that we each loved the same spot, which is indeed as romantic as any that ever captivated the fancy of an artist.

Albert had promised to meet Charlotte in the garden right after dinner. I was on the terrace under the tall chestnut trees, watching the sun set. I saw it dip below this beautiful valley and quiet stream for the last time. I had often come to this spot with Charlotte and witnessed that breathtaking view; and now—I was strolling up and down the very path that meant so much to me. A hidden connection had often drawn me here before I knew Charlotte, and we were thrilled when, in our early days of getting to know each other, we found out that we both loved this spot, which is truly as romantic as any that has ever inspired an artist’s imagination.

From beneath the chestnut trees, there is an extensive view. But I remember that I have mentioned all this in a former letter, and have described the tall mass of beech trees at the end, and how the avenue grows darker and darker as it winds its way among them, till it ends in a gloomy recess, which has all the charm of a mysterious solitude. I still remember the strange feeling of melancholy which came over me the first time I entered that dark retreat, at bright midday. I felt some secret foreboding that it would, one day, be to me the scene of some happiness or misery.

From under the chestnut trees, there's a wide view. But I know I've mentioned all this in a previous letter, and I've described the tall cluster of beech trees at the end, and how the path gets darker and darker as it winds through them, ending in a gloomy spot that has all the allure of a mysterious solitude. I still remember the odd feeling of sadness that washed over me the first time I stepped into that dark retreat in the bright midday. I sensed some secret warning that it would, one day, become the setting for some happiness or sorrow in my life.

I had spent half an hour struggling between the contending thoughts of going and returning, when I heard them coming up the terrace. I ran to meet them. I trembled as I took her hand, and kissed it. As we reached the top of the terrace, the moon rose from behind the wooded hill. We conversed on many subjects, and, without perceiving it, approached the gloomy recess. Charlotte entered, and sat down. Albert seated himself beside her. I did the same, but my agitation did not suffer me to remain long seated. I got up, and stood before her, then walked backward and forward, and sat down again. I was restless and miserable. Charlotte drew our attention to the beautiful effect of the moonlight, which threw a silver hue over the terrace in front of us, beyond the beech trees. It was a glorious sight, and was rendered more striking by the darkness which surrounded the spot where we were. We remained for some time silent, when Charlotte observed, "Whenever I walk by moonlight, it brings to my remembrance all my beloved and departed friends, and I am filled with thoughts of death and futurity. We shall live again, Werther!" she continued, with a firm but feeling voice; "but shall we know one another again—what do you think? what do you say?"

I had spent half an hour struggling with the conflicting thoughts of leaving and staying when I heard them coming up the terrace. I ran to meet them. I trembled as I took her hand and kissed it. As we reached the top of the terrace, the moon rose from behind the wooded hill. We talked about many things, and without realizing it, we moved closer to the dark corner. Charlotte entered and sat down. Albert sat beside her. I did the same, but my anxiety didn’t let me stay seated for long. I got up and stood in front of her, then paced back and forth, and sat down again. I was restless and miserable. Charlotte pointed out the beautiful effect of the moonlight, which cast a silver glow over the terrace in front of us, beyond the beech trees. It was a breathtaking sight, made even more striking by the darkness surrounding where we were. We stayed silent for a while when Charlotte remarked, “Whenever I walk by moonlight, it reminds me of all my beloved and departed friends, and I’m filled with thoughts of death and what’s to come. We will live again, Werther!” she continued with a firm but emotional voice; “but will we recognize each other again—what do you think? what do you say?”

"Charlotte," I said, as I took her hand in mine, and my eyes filled with tears, "we shall see each other again—here and hereafter we shall meet again." I could say no more. Why, Wilhelm, should she put this question to me, just at the moment when the fear of our cruel separation filled my heart?

"Charlotte," I said, taking her hand in mine, my eyes welling up with tears, "we will see each other again—now and in the future, we will meet again." I couldn't say anything more. Why, Wilhelm, did she ask me this just when the fear of our painful separation filled my heart?

"And oh! do those departed ones know how we are employed here? do they know when we are well and happy? do they know when we recall their memories with the fondest love? In the silent hour of evening the shade of my mother hovers around me; when seated in the midst of my children, I see them assembled near me, as they used to assemble near her; and then I raise my anxious eyes to heaven, and wish she could look down upon us, and witness how I fulfil the promise I made to her in her last moments, to be a mother to her children. With what emotion do I then exclaim, 'Pardon, dearest of mothers, pardon me, if I do not adequately supply your place! Alas! I do my utmost. They are clothed and fed; and, still better, they are loved and educated. Could you but see, sweet saint! the peace and harmony that dwells amongst us, you would glorify God with the warmest feelings of gratitude, to whom, in your last hour, you addressed such fervent prayers for our happiness.'" Thus did she express herself; but O Wilhelm! who can do justice to her language? how can cold and passionless words convey the heavenly expressions of the spirit? Albert interrupted her gently. "This affects you too deeply, my dear Charlotte. I know your soul dwells on such recollections with intense delight; but I implore—" "O Albert!" she continued, "I am sure you do not forget the evenings when we three used to sit at the little round table, when papa was absent, and the little ones had retired. You often had a good book with you, but seldom read it; the conversation of that noble being was preferable to everything,—that beautiful, bright, gentle, and yet ever-toiling woman. God alone knows how I have supplicated with tears on my nightly couch, that I might be like her."

"And oh! do those we've lost know what we're doing here? Do they know when we're happy and doing well? Do they know when we remember them with love? In the quiet of the evening, I can feel my mother’s presence around me; as I sit among my children, I see them gathered close like they used to gather around her. Then I lift my worried eyes to the sky and wish she could look down on us and see how I’m keeping the promise I made to her in her final moments to be a mother to her kids. With what feeling do I then say, 'Forgive me, dearest mother, if I don’t fully take your place! I try my best. They are clothed and fed; even better, they are loved and educated. If only you could see, sweet saint! the peace and happiness that surround us, you would glorify God with deep gratitude, to whom, in your last moments, you offered such heartfelt prayers for our happiness.'" This is how she expressed herself; but oh Wilhelm! who can really capture what she said? How can cold and emotionless words convey the beautiful expressions of her spirit? Albert gently interrupted her. "This touches you too deeply, my dear Charlotte. I know you cherish these memories, but I urge—" "Oh Albert!" she continued, "I’m sure you don’t forget the evenings when the three of us would sit at that little round table when dad was away and the little ones had gone to bed. You often had a good book, but rarely read it; the conversation of that wonderful person was better than anything else— that beautiful, radiant, gentle, yet always hard-working woman. Only God knows how I have cried on my pillow at night, praying that I could be like her."

I threw myself at her feet, and, seizing her hand, bedewed it with a thousand tears. "Charlotte!" I exclaimed, "God's blessing and your mother's spirit are upon you." "Oh! that you had known her," she said, with a warm pressure of the hand. "She was worthy of being known to you." I thought I should have fainted: never had I received praise so flattering. She continued, "And yet she was doomed to die in the flower of her youth, when her youngest child was scarcely six months old. Her illness was but short, but she was calm and resigned; and it was only for her children, especially the youngest, that she felt unhappy. When her end drew nigh, she bade me bring them to her. I obeyed. The younger ones knew nothing of their approaching loss, while the elder ones were quite overcome with grief. They stood around the bed; and she raised her feeble hands to heaven, and prayed over them; then, kissing them in turn, she dismissed them, and said to me, 'Be you a mother to them.' I gave her my hand. 'You are promising much, my child,' she said: 'a mother's fondness and a mother's care! I have often witnessed, by your tears of gratitude, that you know what is a mother's tenderness: show it to your brothers and sisters, and be dutiful and faithful to your father as a wife; you will be his comfort.' She inquired for him. He had retired to conceal his intolerable anguish,—he was heartbroken, 'Albert, you were in the room.' She heard some one moving: she inquired who it was, and desired you to approach. She surveyed us both with a look of composure and satisfaction, expressive of her conviction that we should be happy,—happy with one another." Albert fell upon her neck, and kissed her, and exclaimed, "We are so, and we shall be so!" Even Albert, generally so tranquil, had quite lost his composure; and I was excited beyond expression.

I threw myself at her feet, grabbed her hand, and covered it with a thousand tears. "Charlotte!" I exclaimed, "God's blessing and your mother's spirit are with you." "Oh! if only you had known her," she replied, squeezing my hand warmly. "She was deserving of knowing you." I felt like I might faint; I had never received such flattering praise. She continued, "Yet she was doomed to die in the prime of her youth, just when her youngest child was barely six months old. Her illness was short, but she faced it calmly and accepted it; her only concern was for her children, especially the youngest. As her end approached, she asked me to bring them to her. I did. The younger ones had no idea about the impending loss, while the older ones were completely overcome with grief. They gathered around the bed; she raised her weak hands to heaven and prayed over them; then, kissing each one in turn, she sent them away and told me, 'Be a mother to them.' I took her hand. 'You’re promising a lot, my child,' she said: 'a mother's love and a mother's care! I've often seen through your tears of gratitude that you understand a mother’s tenderness: show it to your siblings, and be dutiful and loyal to your father as a wife; you will be his comfort.' She asked about him. He had withdrawn to hide his unbearable sorrow—he was heartbroken. 'Albert, you were in the room.' She heard someone moving, asked who it was, and wanted you to come closer. She looked at us both with an expression of composure and satisfaction, convinced that we would find happiness—happiness together." Albert hugged her neck, kissed her, and exclaimed, "We are, and we will be!" Even Albert, usually so calm, had lost his composure completely, and I was overwhelmed with emotions.

"And such a being," She continued, "was to leave us, Werther! Great God, must we thus part with everything we hold dear in this world? Nobody felt this more acutely than the children: they cried and lamented for a long time afterward, complaining that men had carried away their dear mamma."

"And that kind of being," she continued, "was going to leave us, Werther! My God, do we really have to say goodbye to everything we cherish in this world? No one felt this more deeply than the kids: they cried and mourned for a long time afterward, saying that the men had taken their beloved mom away."

Charlotte rose. It aroused me; but I continued sitting, and held her hand. "Let us go," she said: "it grows late." She attempted to withdraw her hand: I held it still. "We shall see each other again," I exclaimed: "we shall recognise each other under every possible change! I am going," I continued, "going willingly; but, should I say for ever, perhaps I may not keep my word. Adieu, Charlotte; adieu, Albert. We shall meet again." "Yes: tomorrow, I think," she answered with a smile. Tomorrow! how I felt the word! Ah! she little thought, when she drew her hand away from mine. They walked down the avenue. I stood gazing after them in the moonlight. I threw myself upon the ground, and wept: I then sprang up, and ran out upon the terrace, and saw, under the shade of the linden-trees, her white dress disappearing near the garden-gate. I stretched out my arms, and she vanished.

Charlotte stood up. It stirred something in me, but I stayed seated and held her hand. "Let's go," she said, "it's getting late." She tried to pull her hand away, but I kept holding on. "We’ll see each other again," I shouted. "We'll recognize each other no matter what changes happen! I’m leaving," I continued, "leaving willingly; but if I say forever, I might not be able to keep that promise. Goodbye, Charlotte; goodbye, Albert. We’ll meet again." "Yeah: tomorrow, I think," she replied with a smile. Tomorrow! I felt the impact of that word! Ah! She had no idea when she finally pulled her hand from mine. They walked down the path. I stood there, watching them disappear in the moonlight. I dropped to the ground and cried; then I jumped up, ran out onto the terrace, and saw, under the shade of the linden trees, her white dress disappearing near the garden gate. I reached out my arms, and she was gone.










BOOK II.

OCTOBER 20.

We arrived here yesterday. The ambassador is indisposed, and will not go out for some days. If he were less peevish and morose, all would be well. I see but too plainly that Heaven has destined me to severe trials; but courage! a light heart may bear anything. A light heart! I smile to find such a word proceeding from my pen. A little more lightheartedness would render me the happiest being under the sun. But must I despair of my talents and faculties, whilst others of far inferior abilities parade before me with the utmost self-satisfaction? Gracious Providence, to whom I owe all my powers, why didst thou not withhold some of those blessings I possess, and substitute in their place a feeling of self-confidence and contentment?

We got here yesterday. The ambassador is unwell and won’t be going out for a few days. If he weren’t so irritable and gloomy, everything would be fine. I can clearly see that fate has set me up for tough challenges; but I must stay strong! A light heart can handle anything. A light heart! I grin to think that such a word comes from my pen. A bit more lightness would make me the happiest person in the world. But should I really lose hope in my abilities while those with far less talent confidently strut around me? Gracious God, to whom I owe all my gifts, why didn’t you hold back some of those blessings I have and instead give me a sense of self-confidence and contentment?

But patience! all will yet be well; for I assure you, my dear friend, you were right: since I have been obliged to associate continually with other people, and observe what they do, and how they employ themselves, I have become far better satisfied with myself. For we are so constituted by nature, that we are ever prone to compare ourselves with others; and our happiness or misery depends very much on the objects and persons around us. On this account, nothing is more dangerous than solitude: there our imagination, always disposed to rise, taking a new flight on the wings of fancy, pictures to us a chain of beings of whom we seem the most inferior. All things appear greater than they really are, and all seem superior to us. This operation of the mind is quite natural: we so continually feel our own imperfections, and fancy we perceive in others the qualities we do not possess, attributing to them also all that we enjoy ourselves, that by this process we form the idea of a perfect, happy man,—a man, however, who only exists in our own imagination.

But wait! Everything will be alright; I promise you, my dear friend, you were right. Ever since I've had to spend time with other people and watch what they do and how they spend their time, I've become much more at ease with myself. We're naturally inclined to compare ourselves to others, and our happiness or sadness often depends on the people and things around us. Because of this, nothing is more dangerous than being alone: in solitude, our imagination, always eager to soar, takes off on flights of fancy and portrays a whole lineup of people of whom we feel we’re the least. Everything seems bigger than it actually is, and everyone appears superior to us. This mental process is completely natural: we constantly notice our own flaws and think we see in others the qualities we lack, attributing to them everything we enjoy ourselves, and through this, we create an image of a perfect, happy person—someone who only exists in our imagination.

But when, in spite of weakness and disappointments, we set to work in earnest, and persevere steadily, we often find, that, though obliged continually to tack, we make more way than others who have the assistance of wind and tide; and, in truth, there can be no greater satisfaction than to keep pace with others or outstrip them in the race.

But when, despite our weaknesses and disappointments, we get to work seriously and keep pushing forward, we often discover that, even though we have to constantly adjust our course, we make more progress than those who have the help of favorable winds and currents. In reality, there’s no greater satisfaction than keeping up with others or even surpassing them in the race.

November 26.

November 26.

I begin to find my situation here more tolerable, considering all circumstances. I find a great advantage in being much occupied; and the number of persons I meet, and their different pursuits, create a varied entertainment for me. I have formed the acquaintance of the Count C— and I esteem him more and more every day. He is a man of strong understanding and great discernment; but, though he sees farther than other people, he is not on that account cold in his manner, but capable of inspiring and returning the warmest affection. He appeared interested in me on one occasion, when I had to transact some business with him. He perceived, at the first word, that we understood each other, and that he could converse with me in a different tone from what he used with others. I cannot sufficiently esteem his frank and open kindness to me. It is the greatest and most genuine of pleasures to observe a great mind in sympathy with our own.

I'm starting to find my situation here more bearable, all things considered. I really appreciate being busy, and the variety of people I meet and their different interests provide me with plenty of entertainment. I've gotten to know Count C— and I find myself respecting him more each day. He has a sharp mind and great insight; however, even though he sees things more clearly than most, he's not cold at all—he's actually capable of inspiring and reciprocating deep affection. He seemed genuinely interested in me during one instance when I had some business to discuss with him. From the very first word, he realized that we understood each other and that he could speak to me in a way that was different from how he spoke to others. I truly appreciate his honest and straightforward kindness towards me. It's the greatest joy to see a brilliant mind resonate with our own.

DECEMBER 24.

DEC 24.

As I anticipated, the ambassador occasions me infinite annoyance. He is the most punctilious blockhead under heaven. He does everything step by step, with the trifling minuteness of an old woman; and he is a man whom it is impossible to please, because he is never pleased with himself. I like to do business regularly and cheerfully, and, when it is finished, to leave it. But he constantly returns my papers to me, saying, "They will do," but recommending me to look over them again, as "one may always improve by using a better word or a more appropriate particle." I then lose all patience, and wish myself at the devil's. Not a conjunction, not an adverb, must be omitted: he has a deadly antipathy to all those transpositions of which I am so fond; and, if the music of our periods is not tuned to the established, official key, he cannot comprehend our meaning. It is deplorable to be connected with such a fellow.

As I expected, the ambassador gives me endless frustration. He’s the most frustrating stickler around. He does everything meticulously, like an elderly woman; and he’s someone it’s impossible to satisfy because he never feels good about himself. I prefer to handle business efficiently and positively, and once it’s done, to move on. But he keeps sending my documents back, saying, “They’re fine,” while advising me to review them again, as “there’s always room for improvement by choosing a better word or a more suitable phrase.” This just tries my patience, and I wish I were anywhere else. Not a conjunction or an adverb can be missing: he has a strong dislike for all those changes I enjoy; and if our sentences aren’t styled to the official standard, he doesn’t grasp our meaning. It’s unfortunate to be associated with someone like him.

My acquaintance with the Count C— is the only compensation for such an evil. He told me frankly, the other day, that he was much displeased with the difficulties and delays of the ambassador; that people like him are obstacles, both to themselves and to others. "But," added he, "one must submit, like a traveller who has to ascend a mountain: if the mountain was not there, the road would be both shorter and pleasanter; but there it is, and he must get over it."

My acquaintance with Count C— is the only upside to such a problem. He openly told me the other day that he was really frustrated with the ambassador's difficulties and delays, saying that people like him create obstacles, both for themselves and others. "But," he added, "you have to accept it, like a traveler climbing a mountain: if the mountain weren’t there, the path would be shorter and more enjoyable; but it is there, and you have to get past it."

The old man perceives the count's partiality for me: this annoys him, and, he seizes every opportunity to depreciate the count in my hearing. I naturally defend him, and that only makes matters worse. Yesterday he made me indignant, for he also alluded to me. "The count," he said, "is a man of the world, and a good man of business: his style is good, and he writes with facility; but, like other geniuses, he has no solid learning." He looked at me with an expression that seemed to ask if I felt the blow. But it did not produce the desired effect: I despise a man who can think and act in such a manner. However, I made a stand, and answered with not a little warmth. The count, I said, was a man entitled to respect, alike for his character and his acquirements. I had never met a person whose mind was stored with more useful and extensive knowledge,—who had, in fact, mastered such an infinite variety of subjects, and who yet retained all his activity for the details of ordinary business. This was altogether beyond his comprehension; and I took my leave, lest my anger should be too highly excited by some new absurdity of his.

The old man notices that the count has a favoritism toward me: this annoys him, and he takes every chance to put the count down in front of me. Naturally, I defend him, which only makes things worse. Yesterday he really got under my skin because he also made a comment about me. "The count," he said, "is a worldly man and a decent businessman: his writing is good, and he expresses himself easily; but, like many geniuses, he lacks solid knowledge." He looked at me like he was waiting to see if his words hit hard. But it didn't have the effect he wanted: I disrespect a person who thinks and acts like that. Still, I stood my ground and responded with quite a bit of passion. The count, I said, deserves respect for both his character and what he's learned. I had never encountered someone with a mind filled with such useful and broad knowledge—who had, in fact, mastered an endless array of subjects, and yet still managed to stay on top of everyday business details. This was completely beyond his understanding; and I decided to leave, so my anger wouldn’t flare up more from one of his new absurdities.

And you are to blame for all this, you who persuaded me to bend my neck to this yoke by preaching a life of activity to me. If the man who plants vegetables, and carries his corn to town on market-days, is not more usefully employed than I am, then let me work ten years longer at the galleys to which I am now chained.

And you are responsible for all this, you who convinced me to accept this burden by urging me to live an active life. If the guy who grows vegetables and hauls his corn to town on market days is not more productively engaged than I am, then let me spend another ten years at the galleys where I'm currently stuck.

Oh, the brilliant wretchedness, the weariness, that one is doomed to witness among the silly people whom we meet in society here! The ambition of rank! How they watch, how they toil, to gain precedence! What poor and contemptible passions are displayed in their utter nakedness! We have a woman here, for example, who never ceases to entertain the company with accounts of her family and her estates. Any stranger would consider her a silly being, whose head was turned by her pretensions to rank and property; but she is in reality even more ridiculous, the daughter of a mere magistrate's clerk from this neighbourhood. I cannot understand how human beings can so debase themselves.

Oh, the ridiculous misery and exhaustion that we have to see among the silly people we encounter in society! The drive for status! They watch and work so hard to get ahead! What pathetic and contemptible desires are laid bare for all to see! We have a woman here, for instance, who never stops entertaining everyone with stories about her family and her wealth. Any outsider would think she’s a foolish person whose head has been turned by her pretensions to nobility and property; but in reality, she’s even more laughable—a daughter of a mere magistrate’s clerk from this area. I can’t understand how people can degrade themselves so much.

Every day I observe more and more the folly of judging of others by ourselves; and I have so much trouble with myself, and my own heart is in such constant agitation, that I am well content to let others pursue their own course, if they only allow me the same privilege.

Every day I notice more and more how foolish it is to judge others based on ourselves; I struggle with my own issues, and my heart is always in turmoil, so I'm happy to let others follow their own path as long as they let me do the same.

What provokes me most is the unhappy extent to which distinctions of rank are carried. I know perfectly well how necessary are inequalities of condition, and I am sensible of the advantages I myself derive therefrom; but I would not have these institutions prove a barrier to the small chance of happiness which I may enjoy on this earth.

What bothers me the most is how far distinctions of rank go. I understand how necessary social inequalities are, and I recognize the benefits I personally gain from them; however, I don’t want these systems to block the small chance of happiness I might have in this life.

I have lately become acquainted with a Miss B—, a very agreeable girl, who has retained her natural manners in the midst of artificial life. Our first conversation pleased us both equally; and, at taking leave, I requested permission to visit her. She consented in so obliging a manner, that I waited with impatience for the arrival of the happy moment. She is not a native of this place, but resides here with her aunt. The countenance of the old lady is not prepossessing. I paid her much attention, addressing the greater part of my conversation to her; and, in less than half an hour, I discovered what her niece subsequently acknowledged to me, that her aged aunt, having but a small fortune, and a still smaller share of understanding, enjoys no satisfaction except in the pedigree of her ancestors, no protection save in her noble birth, and no enjoyment but in looking from her castle over the heads of the humble citizens. She was, no doubt, handsome in her youth, and in her early years probably trifled away her time in rendering many a poor youth the sport of her caprice: in her riper years she has submitted to the yoke of a veteran officer, who, in return for her person and her small independence, has spent with her what we may designate her age of brass. He is dead; and she is now a widow, and deserted. She spends her iron age alone, and would not be approached, except for the loveliness of her niece.

I've recently met a Miss B—, a very pleasant young woman who has managed to keep her genuine personality amidst a world full of pretense. Our first conversation was enjoyable for both of us, and when we said goodbye, I asked if I could visit her. She kindly agreed, making me eager for the day to come. She’s not from here but lives with her aunt. The old lady’s face isn’t exactly attractive. I paid her a lot of attention, directing most of our conversation toward her, and in less than half an hour, I realized what her niece later confirmed: that her elderly aunt, with a modest fortune and even less intelligence, finds pleasure only in her family history, takes pride in her noble lineage, and enjoys looking down from her high status at ordinary citizens. She must have been beautiful in her youth, and likely spent her early years charming many young men with her whims. In her later years, she married an older military officer who, in exchange for her looks and her minor wealth, spent what we could call her golden years with her. He’s gone now, and she’s a widow, living in solitude. She spends her later years alone and wouldn’t be approached at all if it weren't for the beauty of her niece.

JANUARY 8, 1772.

JANUARY 8, 1772.

What beings are men, whose whole thoughts are occupied with form and ceremony, who for years together devote their mental and physical exertions to the task of advancing themselves but one step, and endeavouring to occupy a higher place at the table. Not that such persons would otherwise want employment: on the contrary, they give themselves much trouble by neglecting important business for such petty trifles. Last week a question of precedence arose at a sledging-party, and all our amusement was spoiled.

What kind of people are these men, whose every thought is consumed by appearances and rituals, who spend years focused on making just one small advancement for themselves, trying to claim a higher status at the table? It's not that these individuals lack work to do; in fact, they complicate their lives by ignoring important matters for these trivial concerns. Just last week, a debate over who should go first at a sledding party ruined all our fun.

The silly creatures cannot see that it is not place which constitutes real greatness, since the man who occupies the first place but seldom plays the principal part. How many kings are governed by their ministers—how many ministers by their secretaries? Who, in such cases, is really the chief? He, as it seems to me, who can see through the others, and possesses strength or skill enough to make their power or passions subservient to the execution of his own designs.

The foolish beings can’t understand that it’s not the position that defines true greatness, since a person in the top spot often doesn’t play the leading role. How many kings are controlled by their ministers—how many ministers by their secretaries? Who, in these situations, is actually in charge? To me, it’s the one who can see through the others and has the strength or skill to make their power or desires serve the achievement of his own goals.

JANUARY 20.

JAN 20.

I must write to you from this place, my dear Charlotte, from a small room in a country inn, where I have taken shelter from a severe storm. During my whole residence in that wretched place D—, where I lived amongst strangers,—strangers, indeed, to this heart,—I never at any time felt the smallest inclination to correspond with you; but in this cottage, in this retirement, in this solitude, with the snow and hail beating against my lattice-pane, you are my first thought. The instant I entered, your figure rose up before me, and the remembrance! O my Charlotte, the sacred, tender remembrance! Gracious Heaven! restore to me the happy moment of our first acquaintance.

I have to write to you from this place, my dear Charlotte, from a small room in a country inn, where I’m taking refuge from a harsh storm. During my whole time in that miserable place D—, where I lived among strangers—strangers, truly, to my heart—I never once felt the slightest urge to write to you; but in this cottage, in this retreat, in this solitude, with the snow and hail pounding against my window, you are my first thought. The moment I walked in, your figure came to mind, and the memory! Oh my Charlotte, the cherished, tender memory! Gracious Heaven! bring back to me the joyful moment of our first meeting.

Could you but see me, my dear Charlotte, in the whirl of dissipation,—how my senses are dried up, but my heart is at no time full. I enjoy no single moment of happiness: all is vain—nothing touches me. I stand, as it were, before the raree-show: I see the little puppets move, and I ask whether it is not an optical illusion. I am amused with these puppets, or, rather, I am myself one of them: but, when I sometimes grasp my neighbour's hand, I feel that it is not natural; and I withdraw mine with a shudder. In the evening I say I will enjoy the next morning's sunrise, and yet I remain in bed: in the day I promise to ramble by moonlight; and I, nevertheless, remain at home. I know not why I rise, nor why I go to sleep.

If only you could see me, my dear Charlotte, caught up in this whirlwind of indulgence—how my senses feel numb, yet my heart is never truly full. I don’t experience a single moment of happiness: everything feels pointless—nothing affects me. I stand, as if in front of a show: I watch the little puppets move, and I question whether it’s just an illusion. I'm entertained by these puppets, or rather, I feel like I’m one of them: but when I occasionally take my neighbor's hand, I realize it doesn’t feel real; and I pull mine back with a shiver. In the evening, I tell myself I’ll enjoy the sunrise the next morning, but I still stay in bed; during the day, I promise to stroll under the moonlight, yet I continue to stay home. I don’t know why I get up, nor why I go to sleep.

The leaven which animated my existence is gone: the charm which cheered me in the gloom of night, and aroused me from my morning slumbers, is for ever fled.

The source of my happiness is gone: the joy that lifted my spirits during the dark of night and woke me from my morning sleep is gone forever.

I have found but one being here to interest me, a Miss B—. She resembles you, my dear Charlotte, if any one can possibly resemble you. "Ah!" you will say, "he has learned how to pay fine compliments." And this is partly true. I have been very agreeable lately, as it was not in my power to be otherwise. I have, moreover, a deal of wit: and the ladies say that no one understands flattery better, or falsehoods you will add; since the one accomplishment invariably accompanies the other. But I must tell you of Miss B—. She has abundance of soul, which flashes from her deep blue eyes. Her rank is a torment to her, and satisfies no one desire of her heart. She would gladly retire from this whirl of fashion, and we often picture to ourselves a life of undisturbed happiness in distant scenes of rural retirement: and then we speak of you, my dear Charlotte; for she knows you, and renders homage to your merits; but her homage is not exacted, but voluntary, she loves you, and delights to hear you made the subject of conversation.

I've found only one person here who intrigues me, a Miss B—. She resembles you, my dear Charlotte, if anyone can truly resemble you. "Ah!" you'll say, "he's figured out how to give nice compliments." And that's partly true. I've been quite charming lately, as I couldn’t be anything else. Also, I have quite a bit of wit, and the ladies say that no one understands flattery better—or falsehoods, as you would add; since the two skills usually go hand in hand. But I must tell you about Miss B—. She has a lot of spirit, which shines through her deep blue eyes. Her social status is a burden for her, and it fulfills none of her heart’s desires. She would gladly escape this whirlwind of fashion, and we often imagine a life of peaceful happiness in quiet, rural settings: and then we talk about you, my dear Charlotte; for she knows you and admires your qualities; but her admiration isn’t forced; it’s genuine, she loves you, and enjoys hearing you be the topic of conversation.

Oh, that I were sitting at your feet in your favourite little room, with the dear children playing around us! If they became troublesome to you, I would tell them some appalling goblin story; and they would crowd round me with silent attention. The sun is setting in glory; his last rays are shining on the snow, which covers the face of the country: the storm is over, and I must return to my dungeon. Adieu!—Is Albert with you? and what is he to you? God forgive the question.

Oh, how I wish I could sit at your feet in your favorite little room, with the dear kids playing around us! If they became annoying to you, I would tell them a spooky goblin story, and they would gather around me in complete silence. The sun is setting beautifully; its last rays are shining on the snow that covers the landscape: the storm has passed, and I have to go back to my prison. Goodbye! Is Albert with you? And what does he mean to you? God forgive my question.

FEBRUARY 8.

FEBRUARY 8th.

For a week past we have had the most wretched weather: but this to me is a blessing; for, during my residence here, not a single fine day has beamed from the heavens, but has been lost to me by the intrusion of somebody. During the severity of rain, sleet, frost, and storm, I congratulate myself that it cannot be worse indoors than abroad, nor worse abroad than it is within doors; and so I become reconciled. When the sun rises bright in the morning, and promises a glorious day, I never omit to exclaim, "There, now, they have another blessing from Heaven, which they will be sure to destroy: they spoil everything,—health, fame, happiness, amusement; and they do this generally through folly, ignorance, or imbecility, and always, according to their own account, with the best intentions!" I could often beseech them, on my bended knees, to be less resolved upon their own destruction.

For the past week, we've had the most miserable weather; but I actually see this as a blessing. During my time here, not a single nice day has shone down on me without someone ruining it. With all the rain, sleet, frost, and storms, I find comfort in knowing it can't be worse inside than it is outside, and vice versa; this helps me come to terms with it. When the sun shines brightly in the morning and hints at a beautiful day, I always exclaim, "Look, they've got another gift from Heaven that they'll definitely ruin: they ruin everything—health, fame, happiness, fun; and they do it mostly due to foolishness, ignorance, or stupidity, and always, according to them, with the best intentions!" I often feel like begging them, on my knees, to stop being so committed to their own downfall.

FEBRUARY 17.

February 17.

I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much longer together. He is really growing past endurance. He transacts his business in so ridiculous a manner, that I am often compelled to contradict him, and do things my own way; and then, of course, he thinks them very ill done. He complained of me lately on this account at court; and the minister gave me a reprimand,—a gentle one it is true, but still a reprimand. In consequence of this, I was about to tender my resignation, when I received a letter, to which I submitted with great respect, on account of the high, noble, and generous spirit which dictated it. He endeavoured to soothe my excessive sensibility, paid a tribute to my extreme ideas of duty, of good example, and of perseverance in business, as the fruit of my youthful ardour, an impulse which he did not seek to destroy, but only to moderate, that it might have proper play and be productive of good. So now I am at rest for another week, and no longer at variance with myself. Content and peace of mind are valuable things: I could wish, my dear friend, that these precious jewels were less transitory.

I worry that my ambassador and I won't be together much longer. He's really becoming unbearable. He handles his business in such a ridiculous way that I often have to counter him and do things my own way; of course, he thinks I'm doing a terrible job. He recently complained about me at court, and the minister gave me a reprimand—it was gentle, it's true, but still a reprimand. Because of this, I was about to resign when I received a letter that I took very seriously due to the high, noble, and generous spirit behind it. He tried to calm my overwhelming sensitivity and praised my strong sense of duty, my commitment to setting a good example, and my determination in work, which he saw as a result of my youthful enthusiasm. He didn't want to extinguish that drive but only to temper it so that it could be constructive. So now I'm at peace for another week and no longer at odds with myself. Contentment and peace of mind are truly valuable; I wish, dear friend, that these precious gifts weren’t so fleeting.

FEBRUARY 20.

FEB 20.

God bless you, my dear friends, and may he grant you that happiness which he denies to me!

God bless you, my dear friends, and may He give you the happiness that He denies me!

I thank you, Albert, for having deceived me. I waited for the news that your wedding-day was fixed; and I intended on that day, with solemnity, to take down Charlotte's profile from the wall, and to bury it with some other papers I possess. You are now united, and her picture still remains here. Well, let it remain! Why should it not? I know that I am still one of your society, that I still occupy a place uninjured in Charlotte's heart, that I hold the second place therein; and I intend to keep it. Oh, I should become mad if she could forget! Albert, that thought is hell! Farewell, Albert farewell, angel of heaven farewell, Charlotte!

I thank you, Albert, for deceiving me. I was waiting for the news that your wedding day was set; I had planned to take Charlotte's picture off the wall and bury it with some other papers I have. Now that you’re married, her picture still stays here. Fine, let it stay! Why shouldn’t it? I know I'm still part of your life, that I still hold a place in Charlotte's heart, that I take second place in it; and I plan to keep it. Oh, I would go crazy if she could forget! Albert, that thought is torture! Goodbye, Albert, goodbye, angel of heaven, goodbye, Charlotte!

MARCH 15.

MARCH 15

I have just had a sad adventure, which will drive me away from here. I lose all patience!—Death!—It is not to be remedied; and you alone are to blame, for you urged and impelled me to fill a post for which I was by no means suited. I have now reason to be satisfied, and so have you! But, that you may not again attribute this fatality to my impetuous temper, I send you, my dear sir, a plain and simple narration of the affair, as a mere chronicler of facts would describe it.

I just had a sad experience that’s going to make me leave this place. I've completely lost my patience!—Death!—There’s no fixing this; you’re the only one to blame because you pushed me to take on a role that I wasn’t at all suited for. Now I have every reason to be satisfied, and so should you! But so that you don’t once again blame my impulsive nature for this disaster, I’m sending you, my dear sir, a straightforward account of what happened, as a simple chronicler of events would tell it.

The Count of O— likes and distinguishes me. It is well known, and I have mentioned this to you a hundred times. Yesterday I dined with him. It is the day on which the nobility are accustomed to assemble at his house in the evening. I never once thought of the assembly, nor that we subalterns did not belong to such society. Well, I dined with the count; and, after dinner, we adjourned to the large hall. We walked up and down together: and I conversed with him, and with Colonel B—, who joined us; and in this manner the hour for the assembly approached. God knows, I was thinking of nothing, when who should enter but the honourable Lady accompanied by her noble husband and their silly, scheming daughter, with her small waist and flat neck; and, with disdainful looks and a haughty air they passed me by. As I heartily detest the whole race, I determined upon going away; and only waited till the count had disengaged himself from their impertinent prattle, to take leave, when the agreeable Miss B— came in. As I never meet her without experiencing a heartfelt pleasure, I stayed and talked to her, leaning over the back of her chair, and did not perceive, till after some time, that she seemed a little confused, and ceased to answer me with her usual ease of manner. I was struck with it. "Heavens!" I said to myself, "can she, too, be like the rest?" I felt annoyed, and was about to withdraw; but I remained, notwithstanding, forming excuses for her conduct, fancying she did not mean it, and still hoping to receive some friendly recognition. The rest of the company now arrived. There was the Baron F—, in an entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I.; the Chancellor N—, with his deaf wife; the shabbily-dressed I—, whose old-fashioned coat bore evidence of modern repairs: this crowned the whole. I conversed with some of my acquaintances, but they answered me laconically. I was engaged in observing Miss B—, and did not notice that the women were whispering at the end of the room, that the murmur extended by degrees to the men, that Madame S— addressed the count with much warmth (this was all related to me subsequently by Miss B—); till at length the count came up to me, and took me to the window. "You know our ridiculous customs," he said. "I perceive the company is rather displeased at your being here. I would not on any account—" "I beg your excellency's pardon!" I exclaimed. "I ought to have thought of this before, but I know you will forgive this little inattention. I was going," I added, "some time ago, but my evil genius detained me." And I smiled and bowed, to take my leave. He shook me by the hand, in a manner which expressed everything. I hastened at once from the illustrious assembly, sprang into a carriage, and drove to M—. I contemplated the setting sun from the top of the hill, and read that beautiful passage in Homer, where Ulysses is entertained by the hospitable herdsmen. This was indeed delightful.

The Count of O— likes me and values our friendship. It's well-known, and I've told you this a hundred times. Yesterday, I had dinner with him. It’s the day when the nobility usually gathers at his place in the evening. I didn't even think about the gathering or that we lesser folks didn’t belong to that crowd. So, I dined with the count, and after dinner, we moved to the big hall. We walked back and forth together, chatting with him and Colonel B—, who joined us, as the time for the gathering drew near. Honestly, I was lost in thought when who should walk in but the honorably titled lady with her noble husband and their silly, conniving daughter, who flaunted her tiny waist and flat neck; they swept past me with looks of disdain and an air of superiority. Since I can’t stand their kind, I decided to leave; I just waited for the count to finish dealing with their annoying chatter before saying goodbye. Then, the lovely Miss B— came in. I always feel genuine joy when I see her, so I stayed and chatted with her, leaning over the back of her chair. I didn’t notice for a while that she seemed a little uncomfortable and stopped responding with her usual ease. I was taken aback. "Goodness!" I thought, "Could she be like the others?" I felt annoyed and almost left, but I stayed anyway, making excuses for her behavior, thinking she didn’t mean it, and still hoping for some friendly acknowledgment. Soon, the rest of the guests arrived. There was Baron F—, in a full suit dating back to the coronation of Francis I.; Chancellor N— with his hard-of-hearing wife; and the shabby-looking I—, whose old-fashioned coat showed signs of modern repairs: this completed the scene. I talked to some acquaintances, but they replied curtly. I was focused on observing Miss B— and didn’t realize the women were whispering at the end of the room, and gradually, the men joined in. Madame S— spoke to the count quite passionately (Miss B— later filled me in on this); finally, the count approached me and led me to the window. "You know our ridiculous customs," he said. "I can see the company isn't too happy about your being here. I wouldn't want to—" "I sincerely apologize!" I interrupted. "I should have considered this earlier, but I know you’ll forgive this little oversight. I was planning to leave some time ago, but my bad luck kept me here." I smiled and bowed to excuse myself. He shook my hand in a way that conveyed everything. I quickly left the esteemed gathering, jumped into a carriage, and headed to M—. I admired the sunset from the hilltop and read that beautiful passage in Homer, where Ulysses is welcomed by the kind herdsmen. It was truly delightful.

I returned home to supper in the evening. But few persons were assembled in the room. They had turned up a corner of the table-cloth, and were playing at dice. The good-natured A— came in. He laid down his hat when he saw me, approached me, and said in a low tone, "You have met with a disagreeable adventure." "I!" I exclaimed. "The count obliged you to withdraw from the assembly!" "Deuce take the assembly!" said I. "I was very glad to be gone." "I am delighted," he added, "that you take it so lightly. I am only sorry that it is already so much spoken of." The circumstance then began to pain me. I fancied that every one who sat down, and even looked at me, was thinking of this incident; and my heart became embittered.

I got home for dinner in the evening. But there were only a few people in the room. They had turned up a corner of the tablecloth and were playing dice. The kind A— came in. He took off his hat when he saw me, walked over, and said quietly, "You’ve had a rough time." "I!" I said. "The count made you leave the gathering!" "Forget the gathering!" I replied. "I was really happy to get out." "I’m glad," he added, "that you’re taking it so well. I just wish it wasn’t being talked about so much already." That thought started to bother me. I imagined that everyone who sat down or even glanced at me was thinking about the whole situation, and my heart felt heavy.

And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom, when I hear myself everywhere pitied, and observe the triumph of my enemies, who say that this is always the case with vain persons, whose heads are turned with conceit, who affect to despise forms and such petty, idle nonsense.

And now I could stab myself in the heart when I hear everyone pitying me and see the victory of my enemies, who say this always happens to vain people, whose heads are filled with arrogance, who pretend to look down on appearances and such trivial, pointless nonsense.

Say what you will of fortitude, but show me the man who can patiently endure the laughter of fools, when they have obtained an advantage over him. 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation that one can suffer it without complaint.

Say what you want about bravery, but show me the person who can calmly handle the laughter of fools when they've gained the upper hand. It's only when their nonsense has no real basis that someone can put up with it without grumbling.

March 16.

March 16th.

Everything conspires against me. I met Miss B— walking to-day. I could not help joining her; and, when we were at a little distance from her companions, I expressed my sense of her altered manner toward me. "O Werther!" she said, in a tone of emotion, "you, who know my heart, how could you so ill interpret my distress? What did I not suffer for you, from the moment you entered the room! I foresaw it all, a hundred times was I on the point of mentioning it to you. I knew that the S——s and T——s, with their husbands, would quit the room, rather than remain in your company. I knew that the count would not break with them: and now so much is said about it." "How!" I exclaimed, and endeavoured to conceal my emotion; for all that Adelin had mentioned to me yesterday recurred to me painfully at that moment. "Oh, how much it has already cost me!" said this amiable girl, while her eyes filled with tears. I could scarcely contain myself, and was ready to throw myself at her feet. "Explain yourself!" I cried. Tears flowed down her cheeks. I became quite frantic. She wiped them away, without attempting to conceal them. "You know my aunt," she continued; "she was present: and in what light does she consider the affair! Last night, and this morning, Werther, I was compelled to listen to a lecture upon my acquaintance with you. I have been obliged to hear you condemned and depreciated; and I could not—I dared not—say much in your defence."

Everything is working against me. I ran into Miss B— today while walking. I couldn’t help but join her, and when we got a bit away from her friends, I shared my feelings about her changed attitude towards me. “Oh Werther!” she said, her voice full of emotion, “you, who understand my heart, how could you misinterpret my distress? What didn’t I go through for you the moment you walked into the room! I saw it all coming; I almost brought it up with you a hundred times. I knew that the S——s and T——s, along with their husbands, would leave rather than stay with you. I knew the count wouldn’t distance himself from them, and now look at how much is being said about it.” “What!” I exclaimed, trying to hide my feelings, as everything Adelin had told me yesterday flooded back painfully. “Oh, how much this has already cost me!” said the dear girl, as tears welled in her eyes. I could hardly hold myself back, ready to kneel before her. “Please, explain!” I urged. Tears rolled down her cheeks. I was in a frenzy. She wiped them away without trying to hide them. “You know my aunt,” she went on; “she was there: and how does she view the situation! Last night and this morning, Werther, I had to listen to a lecture about my association with you. I have been forced to hear you criticized and dismissed; and I couldn’t—I didn’t dare—say much in your defense.”

Every word she uttered was a dagger to my heart. She did not feel what a mercy it would have been to conceal everything from me. She told me, in addition, all the impertinence that would be further circulated, and how the malicious would triumph; how they would rejoice over the punishment of my pride, over my humiliation for that want of esteem for others with which I had often been reproached. To hear all this, Wilhelm, uttered by her in a voice of the most sincere sympathy, awakened all my passions; and I am still in a state of extreme excitement. I wish I could find a man to jeer me about this event. I would sacrifice him to my resentment. The sight of his blood might possibly be a relief to my fury. A hundred times have I seized a dagger, to give ease to this oppressed heart. Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively open a vein with their teeth, when heated and exhausted by a long course, in order to breathe more freely. I am often tempted to open a vein, to procure for myself everlasting liberty.

Every word she said was like a dagger to my heart. She didn’t realize how merciful it would have been to hide everything from me. On top of that, she told me all the gossip that would spread and how the malicious would revel in it; how they would take pleasure in my pride being punished, in my humiliation for the lack of respect for others that I had often been criticized for. Hearing all of this, Wilhelm, from her in a voice full of genuine sympathy, ignited all my emotions; and I am still feeling extremely agitated. I wish I could find someone to mock me about this situation. I would unleash my resentment on him. The sight of his blood might actually soothe my rage. A hundred times I have picked up a dagger to relieve this tormented heart. Naturalists talk about a noble breed of horses that instinctively open a vein with their teeth when they're hot and exhausted from a long run, allowing them to breathe more easily. I often get the urge to do the same, to gain for myself eternal freedom.

MARCH 24.

MARCH 24

I have tendered my resignation to the court. I hope it will be accepted, and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted you. It is necessary I should leave this place. I know all you will urge me to stay, and therefore I beg you will soften this news to my mother. I am unable to do anything for myself: how, then, should I be competent to assist others? It will afflict her that I should have interrupted that career which would have made me first a privy councillor, and then minister, and that I should look behind me, in place of advancing. Argue as you will, combine all the reasons which should have induced me to remain, I am going: that is sufficient. But, that you may not be ignorant of my destination, I may mention that the Prince of —— is here. He is much pleased with my company; and, having heard of my intention to resign, he has invited me to his country house, to pass the spring months with him. I shall be left completely my own master; and, as we agree on all subjects but one, I shall try my fortune, and accompany him.

I've submitted my resignation to the court. I hope it gets accepted, and I ask for your forgiveness for not discussing it with you beforehand. It's important for me to leave this place. I know you’ll try to convince me to stay, so please soften this news for my mother. I can’t manage my own life; how could I possibly help others? She’ll be upset that I've interrupted a path that could have made me a privy councillor and later a minister, and that I’m looking back instead of moving forward. No matter how much you argue or list the reasons for me to stay, I’m going. That’s all there is to it. But just so you know where I'm headed, I should mention that the Prince of —— is here. He really enjoys my company, and after hearing about my resignation, he invited me to his country house to spend the spring with him. I’ll finally be completely in control of my own life, and since we agree on nearly every topic except one, I’m going to take a chance and go with him.

APRIL 19.

APR 19.

Thanks for both your letters. I delayed my reply, and withheld this letter, till I should obtain an answer from the court. I feared my mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose. But my request is granted, my resignation is accepted. I shall not recount with what reluctance it was accorded, nor relate what the minister has written: you would only renew your lamentations. The crown prince has sent me a present of five and twenty ducats; and, indeed, such goodness has affected me to tears. For this reason I shall not require from my mother the money for which I lately applied.

Thanks for both your letters. I held off on replying and kept this letter back until I got a response from the court. I was worried my mom might go to the minister to mess up my plans. But my request has been granted, and my resignation has been accepted. I won’t go into how reluctantly it was granted or what the minister wrote; that would just make you upset again. The crown prince sent me a gift of twenty-five ducats, and honestly, his kindness brought me to tears. Because of this, I won’t be asking my mom for the money I asked for recently.

MAY 5.

MAY 5th.

I leave this place to-morrow; and, as my native place is only six miles from the high road, I intend to visit it once more, and recall the happy dreams of my childhood. I shall enter at the same gate through which I came with my mother, when, after my father's death, she left that delightful retreat to immure herself in your melancholy town. Adieu, my dear friend: you shall hear of my future career.

I’m leaving tomorrow; since my hometown is only six miles from the main road, I plan to visit it one last time and remember the happy dreams of my childhood. I’ll go through the same gate I entered with my mother when, after my father died, she left that lovely place to shut herself away in your gloomy town. Goodbye, my dear friend: you’ll hear about my future journey.

MAY 9.

MAY 9.

I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion of a pilgrim, and have experienced many unexpected emotions. Near the great elm tree, which is a quarter of a league from the village, I got out of the carriage, and sent it on before, that alone, and on foot, I might enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of my recollections. I stood there under that same elm which was formerly the term and object of my walks. How things have since changed! Then, in happy ignorance, I sighed for a world I did not know, where I hoped to find every pleasure and enjoyment which my heart could desire; and now, on my return from that wide world, O my friend, how many disappointed hopes and unsuccessful plans have I brought back!

I visited my hometown with all the devotion of a pilgrim and felt a mix of unexpected emotions. Near the big elm tree, which is about a quarter of a mile from the village, I got out of the carriage and sent it ahead so that I could fully enjoy my memories on foot. I stood there under that same elm, which was once my destination and the focus of my walks. How much has changed since then! Back then, in my happy ignorance, I longed for a world I didn’t know, where I hoped to find all the pleasures and joys my heart could desire; and now, returning from that vast world, oh my friend, how many disappointed hopes and failed plans I have brought back!

As I contemplated the mountains which lay stretched out before me, I thought how often they had been the object of my dearest desires. Here used I to sit for hours together with my eyes bent upon them, ardently longing to wander in the shade of those woods, to lose myself in those valleys, which form so delightful an object in the distance. With what reluctance did I leave this charming spot; when my hour of recreation was over, and my leave of absence expired! I drew near to the village: all the well-known old summerhouses and gardens were recognised again; I disliked the new ones, and all other alterations which had taken place. I entered the village, and all my former feelings returned. I cannot, my dear friend, enter into details, charming as were my sensations: they would be dull in the narration. I had intended to lodge in the market-place, near our old house. As soon as I entered, I perceived that the schoolroom, where our childhood had been taught by that good old woman, was converted into a shop. I called to mind the sorrow, the heaviness, the tears, and oppression of heart, which I experienced in that confinement. Every step produced some particular impression. A pilgrim in the Holy Land does not meet so many spots pregnant with tender recollections, and his soul is hardly moved with greater devotion. One incident will serve for illustration. I followed the course of a stream to a farm, formerly a delightful walk of mine, and paused at the spot, where, when boys, we used to amuse ourselves making ducks and drakes upon the water. I recollected so well how I used formerly to watch the course of that same stream, following it with inquiring eagerness, forming romantic ideas of the countries it was to pass through; but my imagination was soon exhausted: while the water continued flowing farther and farther on, till my fancy became bewildered by the contemplation of an invisible distance. Exactly such, my dear friend, so happy and so confined, were the thoughts of our good ancestors. Their feelings and their poetry were fresh as childhood. And, when Ulysses talks of the immeasurable sea and boundless earth, his epithets are true, natural, deeply felt, and mysterious. Of what importance is it that I have learned, with every schoolboy, that the world is round? Man needs but little earth for enjoyment, and still less for his final repose.

As I looked at the mountains laid out in front of me, I reflected on how often they had been the focus of my deepest wishes. I used to sit for hours, gazing at them, longing to wander in the shade of those woods and get lost in those valleys that looked so beautiful from a distance. I left this lovely spot with such reluctance when my time for recreation was up and my leave of absence was over! As I approached the village, I recognized all the familiar old summerhouses and gardens; I disliked the new ones and any other changes that had happened. Upon entering the village, all my past feelings came rushing back. I can’t go into details, as lovely as my emotions were; they would be dull to recount. I had planned to stay in the market square, close to our old house. As soon as I walked in, I noticed that the classroom where our childhood was taught by that kind old woman had been turned into a shop. I recalled the sadness, heaviness, tears, and heartache I felt in that confinement. Each step triggered a specific memory. A pilgrim in the Holy Land doesn’t encounter as many places filled with tender memories, and his soul is hardly stirred with more devotion. One incident stands out. I followed the path of a stream to a farm, which used to be a lovely walk for me, and I paused at the spot where, as boys, we used to have fun skipping stones on the water. I remembered how I once watched that same stream, eagerly tracing its path while imagining the romantic lands it would flow through; but soon my imagination ran dry, as the water kept flowing farther away, leaving my thoughts lost in the contemplation of an unseen distance. Just like that, my dear friend, so joyful yet so limited, were the thoughts of our good ancestors. Their feelings and their poetry were as fresh as childhood. And when Ulysses speaks of the vast sea and endless earth, his descriptions are true, natural, deeply felt, and mysterious. What does it matter that I’ve learned, like every schoolboy, that the world is round? A person needs very little land for happiness, and even less for eternal rest.

I am at present with the prince at his hunting lodge. He is a man with whom one can live happily. He is honest and unaffected. There are, however, some strange characters about him, whom I cannot at all understand. They do not seem vicious, and yet they do not carry the appearance of thoroughly honest men. Sometimes I am disposed to believe them honest, and yet I cannot persuade myself to confide in them. It grieves me to hear the prince occasionally talk of things which he has only read or heard of, and always with the same view in which they have been represented by others.

I’m currently at the prince’s hunting lodge. He’s someone you can live with happily. He’s honest and down-to-earth. However, there are some strange characters around him that I just don’t get. They don’t seem bad, but they don’t come across as completely trustworthy either. Sometimes I want to believe they’re honest, but I just can’t bring myself to trust them. It bothers me to hear the prince sometimes talk about things he’s only read or heard about, always repeating the same perspective that others have shared.

He values my understanding and talents more highly than my heart, but I am proud of the latter only. It is the sole source of everything of our strength, happiness, and misery. All the knowledge I possess every one else can acquire, but my heart is exclusively my own.

He values my understanding and skills more than my feelings, but I take pride in my feelings above all else. They are the only source of all our strength, happiness, and sadness. Anyone else can gain the knowledge I have, but my heart is uniquely mine.

MAY 25.

MAY 25th.

I have had a plan in my head of which I did not intend to speak to you until it was accomplished: now that it has failed, I may as well mention it. I wished to enter the army, and had long been desirous of taking the step. This, indeed, was the chief reason for my coming here with the prince, as he is a general in the service. I communicated my design to him during one of our walks together. He disapproved of it, and it would have been actual madness not to have listened to his reasons.

I had a plan in my head that I didn't want to share with you until it was done: now that it hasn’t worked out, I might as well tell you. I wanted to join the army and had wanted to make that move for a long time. In fact, that was the main reason I came here with the prince, since he’s a general. I shared my idea with him during one of our walks. He didn’t approve, and it would have been crazy not to consider his reasons.

JUNE 11.

JUNE 11.

Say what you will, I can remain here no longer. Why should I remain? Time hangs heavy upon my hands. The prince is as gracious to me as any one could be, and yet I am not at my ease. There is, indeed, nothing in common between us. He is a man of understanding, but quite of the ordinary kind. His conversation affords me no more amusement than I should derive from the perusal of a well-written book. I shall remain here a week longer, and then start again on my travels. My drawings are the best things I have done since I came here. The prince has a taste for the arts, and would improve if his mind were not fettered by cold rules and mere technical ideas. I often lose patience, when, with a glowing imagination, I am giving expression to art and nature, he interferes with learned suggestions, and uses at random the technical phraseology of artists.

Say what you want, but I can't stay here any longer. Why should I stick around? Time drags on for me. The prince is as kind as anyone could be, but I still feel uncomfortable. There's really nothing in common between us. He's a reasonable guy, but just your average type. Our conversations give me no more pleasure than reading a well-written book. I'll stay here another week and then continue my travels. My drawings are the best things I've created since I arrived. The prince appreciates the arts, but he could truly grow if he weren't so restricted by rigid rules and technical ideas. I often lose my patience when I'm passionately expressing art and nature, and he butts in with academic suggestions, throwing around artist jargon for no reason.

JULY 16.

JULY 16

Once more I am a wanderer, a pilgrim, through the world. But what else are you!

Once again, I find myself wandering, a traveler, through the world. But what else could you be!

JULY 18.

JULY 18.

Whither am I going? I will tell you in confidence. I am obliged to continue a fortnight longer here, and then I think it would be better for me to visit the mines in—. But I am only deluding myself thus. The fact is, I wish to be near Charlotte again, that is all. I smile at the suggestions of my heart, and obey its dictates.

Where am I going? I'll tell you in confidence. I have to stay here for another two weeks, and then I think it would be better for me to visit the mines in—. But I'm just fooling myself. The truth is, I just want to be close to Charlotte again, that's all. I smile at what my heart is suggesting and follow its lead.

JULY 29.

JULY 29.

No, no! it is yet well all is well! I her husband! O God, who gave me being, if thou hadst destined this happiness for me, my whole life would have been one continual thanksgiving! But I will not murmur—forgive these tears, forgive these fruitless wishes. She—my wife! Oh, the very thought of folding that dearest of Heaven's creatures in my arms! Dear Wilhelm, my whole frame feels convulsed when I see Albert put his arms around her slender waist!

No, no! It's all good! I’m her husband! Oh God, who gave me life, if you intended this happiness for me, my entire life would have been one long expression of gratitude! But I won’t complain—please forgive these tears, forgive these pointless wishes. She—my wife! Oh, just the thought of holding that most precious of Heaven's creations in my arms! Dear Wilhelm, my whole body feels tense when I see Albert wrap his arms around her slim waist!

And shall I avow it? Why should I not, Wilhelm? She would have been happier with me than with him. Albert is not the man to satisfy the wishes of such a heart. He wants a certain sensibility; he wants—in short, their hearts do not beat in unison. How often, my dear friend, I'm reading a passage from some interesting book, when my heart and Charlotte's seemed to meet, and in a hundred other instances when our sentiments were unfolded by the story of some fictitious character, have I felt that we were made for each other! But, dear Wilhelm, he loves her with his whole soul; and what does not such a love deserve?

And should I admit it? Why shouldn't I, Wilhelm? She would have been happier with me than with him. Albert isn't the kind of guy to meet the needs of a heart like hers. He lacks a certain sensitivity; in short, their hearts just don't resonate together. How often, my dear friend, when I'm reading a passage from some interesting book, do I feel like my heart and Charlotte's are connected? In a hundred other instances, when our feelings were reflected in the story of some fictional character, I've felt that we were meant for each other! But, dear Wilhelm, he loves her with all his heart; and doesn't such a love deserve something?

I have been interrupted by an insufferable visit. I have dried my tears, and composed my thoughts. Adieu, my best friend!

I have been interrupted by a really annoying visit. I've dried my tears and gathered my thoughts. Goodbye, my best friend!

AUGUST 4.

AUGUST 4th.

I am not alone unfortunate. All men are disappointed in their hopes, and deceived in their expectations. I have paid a visit to my good old woman under the lime-trees. The eldest boy ran out to meet me: his exclamation of joy brought out his mother, but she had a very melancholy look. Her first word was, "Alas! dear sir, my little John is dead." He was the youngest of her children. I was silent. "And my husband has returned from Switzerland without any money; and, if some kind people had not assisted him, he must have begged his way home. He was taken ill with fever on his journey." I could answer nothing, but made the little one a present. She invited me to take some fruit: I complied, and left the place with a sorrowful heart.

I'm not the only one who’s unfortunate. Everyone is let down in their hopes and misled in their expectations. I visited my dear old friend under the lime trees. The oldest boy rushed out to greet me, and his joyful shout brought out his mother, but she had a very sad look. Her first words were, "Alas! dear sir, my little John has died." He was her youngest child. I was at a loss for words. "And my husband returned from Switzerland without any money; if some kind people hadn’t helped him, he would have had to beg his way home. He got sick with a fever during his trip." I couldn’t respond, so I gave a gift to the little one. She invited me to have some fruit: I accepted and left feeling very heavy-hearted.

AUGUST 21.

AUGUST 21

My sensations are constantly changing. Sometimes a happy prospect opens before me; but alas! it is only for a moment; and then, when I am lost in reverie, I cannot help saying to myself, "If Albert were to die?—Yes, she would become—and I should be"—and so I pursue a chimera, till it leads me to the edge of a precipice at which I shudder.

My feelings are always shifting. Sometimes a happy opportunity appears in front of me, but, unfortunately, it only lasts a moment. When I'm lost in thought, I can't help but wonder, "What if Albert were to die?—Yes, she would become—and I would be"—and so I chase an illusion until it brings me to the edge of a cliff, which makes me shudder.

When I pass through the same gate, and walk along the same road which first conducted me to Charlotte, my heart sinks within me at the change that has since taken place. All, all, is altered! No sentiment, no pulsation of my heart, is the same. My sensations are such as would occur to some departed prince whose spirit should return to visit the superb palace which he had built in happy times, adorned with costly magnificence, and left to a beloved son, but whose glory he should find departed, and its halls deserted and in ruins.

When I walk through the same gate and along the same road that first took me to Charlotte, my heart sinks at how much has changed since then. Everything is different! None of my feelings or emotions are the same. It's like the experience of a long-gone prince whose spirit returns to the grand palace he built in happier times, decorated with lavish beauty, and left to a cherished son, only to find its glory gone, and the halls empty and in ruins.

SEPTEMBER 3.

September 3.

I sometimes cannot understand how she can love another, how she dares love another, when I love nothing in this world so completely, so devotedly, as I love her, when I know only her, and have no other possession.

I sometimes can't believe how she can love someone else, how she can even dare to love another person when I love nothing in this world as completely and devotedly as I love her, when she is all I know, and I have no other ties.

SEPTEMBER 4.

SEPTEMBER 4th.

It is even so! As nature puts on her autumn tints it becomes autumn with me and around me. My leaves are sere and yellow, and the neighbouring trees are divested of their foliage. Do you remember my writing to you about a peasant boy shortly after my arrival here? I have just made inquiries about him in Walheim. They say he has been dismissed from his service, and is now avoided by every one. I met him yesterday on the road, going to a neighbouring village. I spoke to him, and he told me his story. It interested me exceedingly, as you will easily understand when I repeat it to you. But why should I trouble you? Why should I not reserve all my sorrow for myself? Why should I continue to give you occasion to pity and blame me? But no matter: this also is part of my destiny.

It really is true! As nature shows off her autumn colors, it feels like autumn for me both inside and out. My leaves are dry and yellow, and the nearby trees have shed their leaves. Do you remember me writing to you about a peasant boy shortly after I got here? I've just asked around about him in Walheim. They say he was let go from his job and is now shunned by everyone. I saw him yesterday on the road heading to a nearby village. I talked to him, and he shared his story with me. It intrigued me a lot, as you can imagine when I share it with you. But why should I burden you with this? Why not keep all my sadness to myself? Why should I keep giving you reasons to pity and criticize me? But it doesn’t matter: this is also part of my fate.

At first the peasant lad answered my inquiries with a sort of subdued melancholy, which seemed to me the mark of a timid disposition; but, as we grew to understand each other, he spoke with less reserve, and openly confessed his faults, and lamented his misfortune. I wish, my dear friend, I could give proper expression to his language. He told me with a sort of pleasurable recollection, that, after my departure, his passion for his mistress increased daily, until at last he neither knew what he did nor what he said, nor what was to become of him. He could neither eat nor drink nor sleep: he felt a sense of suffocation; he disobeyed all orders, and forgot all commands involuntarily; he seemed as if pursued by an evil spirit, till one day, knowing that his mistress had gone to an upper chamber, he had followed, or, rather, been drawn after her. As she proved deaf to his entreaties, he had recourse to violence. He knows not what happened; but he called God to witness that his intentions to her were honourable, and that he desired nothing more sincerely than that they should marry, and pass their lives together. When he had come to this point, he began to hesitate, as if there was something which he had not courage to utter, till at length he acknowledged with some confusion certain little confidences she had encouraged, and liberties she had allowed. He broke off two or three times in his narration, and assured me most earnestly that he had no wish to make her bad, as he termed it, for he loved her still as sincerely as ever; that the tale had never before escaped his lips, and was only now told to convince me that he was not utterly lost and abandoned. And here, my dear friend, I must commence the old song which you know I utter eternally. If I could only represent the man as he stood, and stands now before me, could I only give his true expressions, you would feel compelled to sympathise in his fate. But enough: you, who know my misfortune and my disposition, can easily comprehend the attraction which draws me toward every unfortunate being, but particularly toward him whose story I have recounted.

At first, the peasant guy answered my questions with a kind of quiet sadness that seemed like a sign of his shy nature. But as we got to know each other better, he opened up more and admitted his mistakes, sharing his troubles. I wish, my dear friend, I could accurately convey what he said. He told me, with a hint of fondness, that after I left, his feelings for his girlfriend grew stronger every day, until he reached a point where he didn’t know what he was doing or saying, or what would happen to him. He couldn’t eat, drink, or sleep; he felt like he was suffocating. He ignored all orders and forgot all commands without even realizing it; it was as if he were being chased by a bad spirit. One day, he discovered that his girlfriend had gone to an upstairs room, and he followed her—or rather, he was drawn to her. Since she didn’t respond to his pleas, he resorted to force. He can't remember exactly what happened, but he swore to God that his intentions toward her were honorable and that he sincerely wanted them to marry and spend their lives together. As he reached this point in his story, he started to hesitate, as if there was something he was too afraid to say, until he finally admitted, with some embarrassment, the little secrets she had encouraged and the liberties she had allowed. He paused in his storytelling a couple of times and earnestly assured me that he never wanted to lead her astray, as he put it, because he still loved her just as much as before; that this story had never been told before and was only now shared to prove to me that he wasn’t completely lost or abandoned. And now, my dear friend, I have to start my usual refrain that you know I repeat endlessly. If only I could depict the man as he stood, and still stands, before me; if only I could convey his true expressions, you would feel compelled to understand and empathize with his situation. But enough of that: you, knowing my troubles and my nature, can easily see why I’m drawn to every unfortunate person, especially to him and his story that I've just shared.

On perusing this letter a second time, I find I have omitted the conclusion of my tale; but it is easily supplied. She became reserved toward him, at the instigation of her brother who had long hated him, and desired his expulsion from the house, fearing that his sister's second marriage might deprive his children of the handsome fortune they expected from her; as she is childless. He was dismissed at length; and the whole affair occasioned so much scandal, that the mistress dared not take him back, even if she had wished it. She has since hired another servant, with whom, they say, her brother is equally displeased, and whom she is likely to marry; but my informant assures me that he himself is determined not to survive such a catastrophe.

After reading this letter a second time, I realized I left out the end of my story; but it's easy to fill in. She started to pull away from him, urged on by her brother who had hated him for a long time and wanted him out of the house. He feared that if his sister remarried, her new husband might take away the good fortune his children expected from her, especially since she has no kids. Eventually, he was let go, and the whole situation caused so much gossip that the woman couldn't take him back, even if she wanted to. Since then, she's hired another servant, and they say her brother is not happy about this one either, and she might even marry him. However, my source tells me that he’s decided he won’t be able to handle such a disaster.

This story is neither exaggerated nor embellished: indeed, I have weakened and impaired it in the narration, by the necessity of using the more refined expressions of society.

This story isn’t exaggerated or embellished: in fact, I’ve toned it down and simplified it in the telling because I had to use the more refined language of society.

This love, then, this constancy, this passion, is no poetical fiction. It is actual, and dwells in its greatest purity amongst that class of mankind whom we term rude, uneducated. We are the educated, not the perverted. But read this story with attention, I implore you. I am tranquil to-day, for I have been employed upon this narration: you see by my writing that I am not so agitated as usual. I read and re-read this tale, Wilhelm: it is the history of your friend! My fortune has been and will be similar; and I am neither half so brave nor half so determined as the poor wretch with whom I hesitate to compare myself.

This love, then, this loyalty, this passion, isn’t just a poetic illusion. It’s real, and it exists in its purest form among those we consider rough and uneducated. We are the educated, not the corrupted. But please, read this story carefully; I urge you. I feel calm today because I've been focused on telling this story: you can tell by my writing that I'm not as restless as I usually am. I’ve read and re-read this tale, Wilhelm: it’s the story of your friend! My fate has been and will be similar, and I'm neither as brave nor as determined as the poor soul I’m hesitant to compare myself to.

SEPTEMBER 5.

SEPTEMBER 5.

Charlotte had written a letter to her husband in the country, where he was detained by business. It commenced, "My dearest love, return as soon as possible: I await you with a thousand raptures." A friend who arrived, brought word, that, for certain reasons, he could not return immediately. Charlotte's letter was not forwarded, and the same evening it fell into my hands. I read it, and smiled. She asked the reason. "What a heavenly treasure is imagination:" I exclaimed; "I fancied for a moment that this was written to me." She paused, and seemed displeased. I was silent.

Charlotte had written a letter to her husband in the countryside, where he was tied up with work. It started, "My dearest love, please return as soon as you can: I’m waiting for you with so much excitement." A friend who arrived brought news that, for certain reasons, he couldn’t come back right away. Charlotte's letter wasn’t sent on, and that same evening it ended up in my hands. I read it and smiled. She asked why. "What a heavenly treasure imagination is," I said; "I imagined for a moment that this was written to me." She paused and looked unhappy. I stayed silent.

SEPTEMBER 6.

SEPTEMBER 6.

It cost me much to part with the blue coat which I wore the first time I danced with Charlotte. But I could not possibly wear it any longer. But I have ordered a new one, precisely similar, even to the collar and sleeves, as well as a new waistcoat and pantaloons.

It cost me a lot to let go of the blue coat I wore the first time I danced with Charlotte. But I just couldn't wear it anymore. I've ordered a new one that's exactly the same, even down to the collar and sleeves, along with a new waistcoat and pants.

But it does not produce the same effect upon me. I know not how it is, but I hope in time I shall like it better.

But it doesn’t have the same effect on me. I don’t know why, but I hope that over time I’ll like it more.

SEPTEMBER 12.

SEPTEMBER 12.

She has been absent for some days. She went to meet Albert. To-day I visited her: she rose to receive me, and I kissed her hand most tenderly.

She has been away for a few days. She went to see Albert. Today I visited her: she got up to greet me, and I kissed her hand very gently.

A canary at the moment flew from a mirror, and settled upon her shoulder. "Here is a new friend," she observed, while she made him perch upon her hand: "he is a present for the children. What a dear he is! Look at him! When I feed him, he flutters with his wings, and pecks so nicely. He kisses me, too, only look!"

A canary suddenly flew from a mirror and landed on her shoulder. "Here’s a new friend," she said as she let him sit on her hand. "He’s a gift for the kids. Isn’t he adorable? Look at him! When I feed him, he flaps his wings and pecks so gently. He even kisses me, just watch!"

She held the bird to her mouth; and he pressed her sweet lips with so much fervour that he seemed to feel the excess of bliss which he enjoyed.

She held the bird to her lips, and he pressed his sweet mouth against hers with such intensity that it felt like he was overwhelmed by the joy he was experiencing.

"He shall kiss you too," she added; and then she held the bird toward me. His little beak moved from her mouth to mine, and the delightful sensation seemed like the forerunner of the sweetest bliss.

"He'll kiss you too," she added; and then she held the bird towards me. His tiny beak moved from her mouth to mine, and the lovely feeling felt like a hint of the sweetest happiness.

"A kiss," I observed, "does not seem to satisfy him: he wishes for food, and seems disappointed by these unsatisfactory endearments."

"A kiss," I noted, "doesn't seem to satisfy him: he wants food, and looks let down by these unsatisfactory gestures of affection."

"But he eats out of my mouth," she continued, and extended her lips to him containing seed; and she smiled with all the charm of a being who has allowed an innocent participation of her love.

"But he eats from my mouth," she continued, extending her lips to him with seeds, and she smiled with all the charm of someone who has allowed an innocent sharing of her love.

I turned my face away. She should not act thus. She ought not to excite my imagination with such displays of heavenly innocence and happiness, nor awaken my heart from its slumbers, in which it dreams of the worthlessness of life! And why not? Because she knows how much I love her.

I turned my face away. She shouldn't be acting like that. She shouldn't stir my imagination with such displays of pure innocence and happiness, nor wake my heart from its slumber, where it dreams of life's worthlessness! And why not? Because she knows how much I love her.

SEPTEMBER 15.

SEPTEMBER 15.

It makes me wretched, Wilhelm, to think that there should be men incapable of appreciating the few things which possess a real value in life. You remember the walnut trees at S—, under which I used to sit with Charlotte, during my visits to the worthy old vicar. Those glorious trees, the very sight of which has so often filled my heart with joy, how they adorned and refreshed the parsonage yard, with their wide-extended branches! and how pleasing was our remembrance of the good old pastor, by whose hands they were planted so many years ago: The schoolmaster has frequently mentioned his name. He had it from his grandfather. He must have been a most excellent man; and, under the shade of those old trees, his memory was ever venerated by me. The schoolmaster informed us yesterday, with tears in his eyes, that those trees had been felled. Yes, cut to the ground! I could, in my wrath, have slain the monster who struck the first stroke. And I must endure this!—I, who, if I had had two such trees in my own court, and one had died from old age, should have wept with real affliction. But there is some comfort left, such a thing is sentiment, the whole village murmurs at the misfortune; and I hope the vicar's wife will soon find, by the cessation of the villagers' presents, how much she has wounded the feelings of the neighborhhood. It was she who did it, the wife of the present incumbent (our good old man is dead), a tall, sickly creature who is so far right to disregard the world, as the world totally disregards her. The silly being affects to be learned, pretends to examine the canonical books, lends her aid toward the new-fashioned reformation of Christendom, moral and critical, and shrugs up her shoulders at the mention of Lavater's enthusiasm. Her health is destroyed, on account of which she is prevented from having any enjoyment here below. Only such a creature could have cut down my walnut trees! I can never pardon it. Hear her reasons. The falling leaves made the court wet and dirty; the branches obstructed the light; boys threw stones at the nuts when they were ripe, and the noise affected her nerves; and disturbed her profound meditations, when she was weighing the difficulties of Kennicot, Semler, and Michaelis. Finding that all the parish, particularly the old people, were displeased, I asked "why they allowed it?" "Ah, sir!" they replied, "when the steward orders, what can we poor peasants do?" But one thing has happened well. The steward and the vicar (who, for once, thought to reap some advantage from the caprices of his wife) intended to divide the trees between them. The revenue-office, being informed of it, revived an old claim to the ground where the trees had stood, and sold them to the best bidder. There they still lie on the ground. If I were the sovereign, I should know how to deal with them all, vicar, steward, and revenue-office. Sovereign, did I say? I should, in that case, care little about the trees that grew in the country.

It makes me miserable, Wilhelm, to think there are people who can’t appreciate the few truly valuable things in life. Remember the walnut trees at S— where I used to sit with Charlotte during my visits to the kind old vicar? Those beautiful trees always filled my heart with joy. They adorned and refreshed the parsonage yard with their wide branches! And how fondly we remembered the good old pastor who planted them so many years ago. The schoolmaster often mentioned his name; he got it from his grandfather. He must have been an amazing man, and under the shade of those old trees, I held him in great respect. The schoolmaster told us yesterday, with tears in his eyes, that those trees had been cut down. Yes, they were chopped to the ground! In my anger, I could have killed the monster who made the first cut. And I have to endure this! I, who, if I had two such trees in my own yard and one had died from old age, would have cried with true sorrow. But there is some comfort left. Sentiment remains; the whole village is upset about this misfortune, and I hope the vicar's wife soon realizes, by the villagers' lack of gifts, how much she has hurt the community. It was she who did it, the wife of the current vicar (our good old man has passed away), a tall, sickly creature who is right to ignore the world, since the world completely ignores her. This foolish woman pretends to be knowledgeable, claims to examine the canonical books, thinks she’s helping with the new reformation of Christianity, moral and critical, and scoffs at Lavater's enthusiasm. Her health is ruined, preventing her from enjoying life here. Only someone like her could have cut down my walnut trees! I can never forgive her. Here are her reasons: the falling leaves made the yard wet and messy; the branches blocked the light; boys threw stones at the nuts when they ripened, making noise that disturbed her nerves and her deep thinking about the challenges of Kennicot, Semler, and Michaelis. When I noticed that the whole parish, especially the older people, were unhappy, I asked, “Why do you allow this?” “Ah, sir!” they replied, “when the steward gives the order, what can we poor peasants do?” But one good thing happened. The steward and the vicar (who, for once, thought he’d benefit from his wife’s whims) planned to split the trees between them. When the revenue office found out, they revived an old claim to the land where the trees stood and sold them to the highest bidder. There they lie on the ground now. If I were the ruler, I would know how to deal with them all—the vicar, the steward, and the revenue office. Ruler, did I say? In that case, I would care little about the trees that grew in the country.

OCTOBER 10.

OCTOBER 10th.

Only to gaze upon her dark eyes is to me a source of happiness! And what grieves me, is, that Albert does not seem so happy as he—hoped to be—as I should have been—if—I am no friend to these pauses, but here I cannot express it otherwise; and probably I am explicit enough.

Just looking into her dark eyes brings me so much joy! What makes me sad is that Albert doesn't seem as happy as he hoped to be, and I know I would have been if I were in his place. I'm not a fan of these pauses, but I can't say it any other way; and I guess I'm clear enough.

OCTOBER 12.

OCT 12.

Ossian has superseded Homer in my heart. To what a world does the illustrious bard carry me! To wander over pathless wilds, surrounded by impetuous whirlwinds, where, by the feeble light of the moon, we see the spirits of our ancestors; to hear from the mountain-tops, mid the roar of torrents, their plaintive sounds issuing from deep caverns, and the sorrowful lamentations of a maiden who sighs and expires on the mossy tomb of the warrior by whom she was adored. I meet this bard with silver hair; he wanders in the valley; he seeks the footsteps of his fathers, and, alas! he finds only their tombs. Then, contemplating the pale moon, as she sinks beneath the waves of the rolling sea, the memory of bygone days strikes the mind of the hero, days when approaching danger invigorated the brave, and the moon shone upon his bark laden with spoils, and returning in triumph. When I read in his countenance deep sorrow, when I see his dying glory sink exhausted into the grave, as he inhales new and heart-thrilling delight from his approaching union with his beloved, and he casts a look on the cold earth and the tall grass which is so soon to cover him, and then exclaims, "The traveller will come,—he will come who has seen my beauty, and he will ask, 'Where is the bard, where is the illustrious son of Fingal?' He will walk over my tomb, and will seek me in vain!" Then, O my friend, I could instantly, like a true and noble knight, draw my sword, and deliver my prince from the long and painful languor of a living death, and dismiss my own soul to follow the demigod whom my hand had set free!

Ossian has taken Homer’s place in my heart. What a world the famous bard brings me to! To wander through uncharted wilds, surrounded by fierce winds, where, under the faint light of the moon, we see the spirits of our ancestors; to hear from the mountaintops, amidst the roar of waterfalls, their sorrowful sounds coming from deep caves, and the mournful cries of a maiden who sighs and fades away on the mossy grave of the warrior she adored. I encounter this bard with silver hair; he roams the valley, searching for the footsteps of his ancestors, and, sadly, he finds only their graves. Then, gazing at the pale moon as it sinks beneath the waves of the restless sea, memories of the past invade the hero's mind, days when looming danger fueled the brave, and the moon shone on his boat loaded with treasures, returning in triumph. When I see deep sorrow etched on his face, when I witness his fading glory sinking into the grave, as he draws new and thrilling joy from his soon-to-be reunion with his beloved, and he glances at the cold ground and the tall grass that will soon cover him, and then exclaims, “The traveler will come—he will come who has seen my beauty, and he will ask, ‘Where is the bard, where is the famous son of Fingal?’ He will walk over my grave and will search for me in vain!” Then, oh my friend, I could instantly, like a true and noble knight, draw my sword, save my prince from the long and painful suffering of a living death, and send my own soul to follow the demigod whom I had freed!

OCTOBER 19.

OCTOBER 19.

Alas! the void the fearful void, which I feel in my bosom! Sometimes I think, if I could only once but once, press her to my heart, this dreadful void would be filled.

Alas! the emptiness, the terrifying emptiness, that I feel in my chest! Sometimes I think, if I could just once, just once, hold her close to my heart, this awful emptiness would be filled.

OCTOBER 26.

OCT 26.

Yes, I feel certain, Wilhelm, and every day I become more certain, that the existence of any being whatever is of very little consequence. A friend of Charlotte's called to see her just now. I withdrew into a neighbouring apartment, and took up a book; but, finding I could not read, I sat down to write. I heard them converse in an undertone: they spoke upon indifferent topics, and retailed the news of the town. One was going to be married; another was ill, very ill, she had a dry cough, her face was growing thinner daily, and she had occasional fits. "N— is very unwell too," said Charlotte. "His limbs begin to swell already," answered the other; and my lively imagination carried me at once to the beds of the infirm. There I see them struggling against death, with all the agonies of pain and horror; and these women, Wilhelm, talk of all this with as much indifference as one would mention the death of a stranger. And when I look around the apartment where I now am—when I see Charlotte's apparel lying before me, and Albert's writings, and all those articles of furniture which are so familiar to me, even to the very inkstand which I am using,—when I think what I am to this family—everything. My friends esteem me; I often contribute to their happiness, and my heart seems as if it could not beat without them; and yet—-if I were to die, if I were to be summoned from the midst of this circle, would they feel—or how long would they feel the void which my loss would make in their existence? How long! Yes, such is the frailty of man, that even there, where he has the greatest consciousness of his own being, where he makes the strongest and most forcible impression, even in the memory, in the heart, of his beloved, there also he must perish,—vanish,—and that quickly.

Yes, I'm sure, Wilhelm, and every day I'm more convinced that the existence of any being is of very little significance. A friend of Charlotte's just came to see her. I stepped into a nearby room and picked up a book; but when I realized I couldn't read, I sat down to write. I heard them talking quietly: they discussed trivial matters and exchanged news from the town. One was getting married; another was very sick, with a dry cough, losing weight daily, and having occasional fits. "N— is also very unwell," Charlotte said. "His limbs are already starting to swell," replied the other, and my vivid imagination instantly took me to the beds of the sick. I see them fighting against death, enduring all the agony and horror; and those women, Wilhelm, talk about all this with as much indifference as one would mention the death of a stranger. And when I look around the room where I am now—when I see Charlotte's clothes spread out in front of me, and Albert's writings, and all the familiar pieces of furniture, even the very inkstand I’m using—when I think about what I mean to this family—everything. My friends value me; I often bring them happiness, and my heart feels like it couldn't survive without them; and yet—if I were to die, if I were to be taken away from this circle, would they even feel my absence—or how long would they feel the emptiness my loss would create in their lives? How long! Yes, such is the fragility of man that even when he feels the most aware of his own existence, when he leaves the strongest impact, even in the memories and hearts of his loved ones, he must also fade away—vanish—and that quickly.

OCTOBER 27.

OCT 27.

I could tear open my bosom with vexation to think how little we are capable of influencing the feelings of each other. No one can communicate to me those sensations of love, joy, rapture, and delight which I do not naturally possess; and, though my heart may glow with the most lively affection, I cannot make the happiness of one in whom the same warmth is not inherent.

I could tear open my chest with frustration at how little we can influence each other's feelings. No one can share with me those sensations of love, joy, excitement, and happiness that I don’t already have; and even though my heart may be filled with the strongest affection, I can’t create the happiness of someone who doesn't already have that warmth.

OCTOBER 27: Evening.

October 27: Evening.

I possess so much, but my love for her absorbs it all. I possess so much, but without her I have nothing.

I have so much, but my love for her takes it all in. I have so much, but without her, I have nothing.

OCTOBER 30.

OCT 30.

One hundred times have I been on the point of embracing her. Heavens! what a torment it is to see so much loveliness passing and repassing before us, and yet not dare to lay hold of it! And laying hold is the most natural of human instincts. Do not children touch everything they see? And I!

One hundred times I've been about to embrace her. Oh, what a torment it is to see so much beauty going back and forth in front of us, and yet I can't reach out to it! Reaching out is the most basic human instinct. Don't children touch everything they see? And I!

NOVEMBER 3.

NOV 3.

Witness, Heaven, how often I lie down in my bed with a wish, and even a hope, that I may never awaken again. And in the morning, when I open my eyes, I behold the sun once more, and am wretched. If I were whimsical, I might blame the weather, or an acquaintance, or some personal disappointment, for my discontented mind; and then this insupportable load of trouble would not rest entirely upon myself. But, alas! I feel it too sadly. I am alone the cause of my own woe, am I not? Truly, my own bosom contains the source of all my sorrow, as it previously contained the source of all my pleasure. Am I not the same being who once enjoyed an excess of happiness, who, at every step, saw paradise open before him, and whose heart was ever expanded toward the whole world? And this heart is now dead, no sentiment can revive it; my eyes are dry; and my senses, no more refreshed by the influence of soft tears, wither and consume my brain. I suffer much, for I have lost the only charm of life: that active, sacred power which created worlds around me,—it is no more. When I look from my window at the distant hills, and behold the morning sun breaking through the mists, and illuminating the country around, which is still wrapped in silence, whilst the soft stream winds gently through the willows, which have shed their leaves; when glorious nature displays all her beauties before me, and her wondrous prospects are ineffectual to extract one tear of joy from my withered heart, I feel that in such a moment I stand like a reprobate before heaven, hardened, insensible, and unmoved. Oftentimes do I then bend my knee to the earth, and implore God for the blessing of tears, as the desponding labourer in some scorching climate prays for the dews of heaven to moisten his parched corn.

Witness, Heaven, how often I lie down in my bed wishing, and even hoping, that I may never wake up again. And in the morning, when I open my eyes, I see the sun once more, and I'm miserable. If I were being capricious, I might blame the weather, or a friend, or some personal disappointment for my unhappy mind; then this unbearable weight of trouble wouldn’t rest solely on me. But, unfortunately, I feel it too painfully. I am solely responsible for my own misery, right? Truly, my own heart holds the source of all my sorrow, just as it once held the source of all my joy. Am I not the same person who once reveled in happiness, who saw paradise open up with every step, and whose heart was always open toward the whole world? And this heart is now dead; no sentiment can bring it back to life; my eyes are dry; and my senses, no longer refreshed by gentle tears, wither and consume my mind. I suffer greatly because I have lost the only charm of life: that active, sacred power which created worlds around me—it's gone. When I look out my window at the distant hills and see the morning sun breaking through the mist, illuminating the countryside still wrapped in silence, while the gentle stream winds softly through the willows, which have shed their leaves; when glorious nature showcases all her beauty before me, and her splendid views fail to bring even a single tear of joy from my wilted heart, I feel that in that moment I stand like a condemned soul before heaven, hardened, unfeeling, and unmoved. Often I bend my knee to the earth, begging God for the blessing of tears, like a weary laborer in a scorching climate praying for the dews of heaven to moisten his parched crops.

But I feel that God does not grant sunshine or rain to our importunate entreaties. And oh, those bygone days, whose memory now torments me! why were they so fortunate? Because I then waited with patience for the blessings of the Eternal, and received his gifts with the grateful feelings of a thankful heart.

But I believe that God doesn’t give us sunshine or rain just because we keep asking for it. And oh, those past days that now haunt me! Why were they so lucky? Because back then, I waited patiently for the blessings from the Eternal and accepted His gifts with a heart full of gratitude.

NOVEMBER 8.

NOV 8.

Charlotte has reproved me for my excesses, with so much tenderness and goodness! I have lately been in the habit of drinking more wine than heretofore. "Don't do it," she said. "Think of Charlotte!" "Think of you!" I answered; "need you bid me do so? Think of you—I do not think of you: you are ever before my soul! This very morning I sat on the spot where, a few days ago, you descended from the carriage, and—" She immediately changed the subject to prevent me from pursuing it farther. My dear friend, my energies are all prostrated: she can do with me what she pleases.

Charlotte has scolded me for my excesses with so much kindness and care! Lately, I’ve been drinking more wine than before. "Don’t do it," she said. "Think of Charlotte!" "Think of you!" I replied; "do you really need to tell me that? I do think of you—I can’t help it! Just this morning, I was sitting in the spot where, a few days ago, you got out of the carriage, and—" She quickly changed the subject to stop me from going on. My dear friend, all my strength is drained: she can do whatever she wants with me.

NOVEMBER 15.

November 15.

I thank you, Wilhelm, for your cordial sympathy, for your excellent advice; and I implore you to be quiet. Leave me to my sufferings. In spite of my wretchedness, I have still strength enough for endurance. I revere religion—you know I do. I feel that it can impart strength to the feeble and comfort to the afflicted, but does it affect all men equally? Consider this vast universe: you will see thousands for whom it has never existed, thousands for whom it will never exist, whether it be preached to them, or not; and must it, then, necessarily exist for me? Does not the Son of God himself say that they are his whom the Father has given to him? Have I been given to him? What if the Father will retain me for himself, as my heart sometimes suggests? I pray you, do not misinterpret this. Do not extract derision from my harmless words. I pour out my whole soul before you. Silence were otherwise preferable to me, but I need not shrink from a subject of which few know more than I do myself. What is the destiny of man, but to fill up the measure of his sufferings, and to drink his allotted cup of bitterness? And if that same cup proved bitter to the God of heaven, under a human form, why should I affect a foolish pride, and call it sweet? Why should I be ashamed of shrinking at that fearful moment, when my whole being will tremble between existence and annihilation, when a remembrance of the past, like a flash of lightning, will illuminate the dark gulf of futurity, when everything shall dissolve around me, and the whole world vanish away? Is not this the voice of a creature oppressed beyond all resource, self-deficient, about to plunge into inevitable destruction, and groaning deeply at its inadequate strength, "My God! my God! why hast thou forsaken me?" And should I feel ashamed to utter the same expression? Should I not shudder at a prospect which had its fears, even for him who folds up the heavens like a garment?

I want to thank you, Wilhelm, for your heartfelt sympathy and great advice; but I ask you to please be quiet. Let me deal with my suffering. Even though I’m in a terrible state, I still have enough strength to endure. I respect religion—you know that. I believe it can give strength to the weak and comfort to the hurting, but does it really affect everyone equally? Look at this vast universe: there are thousands for whom it has never been real, and thousands for whom it will never be, no matter how much it’s preached to them; so must it necessarily exist for me? Doesn’t the Son of God himself say that those who belong to him are given to him by the Father? Have I been given to him? What if the Father wants to keep me for Himself, as my heart sometimes suggests? Please, don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. Don’t twist my innocent words into mockery. I’m laying bare my entire soul before you. Sometimes silence is better for me, but I shouldn’t shy away from a topic that few understand better than I do. What is the destiny of man but to endure suffering and drink from his cup of bitterness? And if that same cup was bitter to the God of heaven in human form, why should I act prideful and call it sweet? Why should I be ashamed of trembling at that terrifying moment when my entire being is caught between existence and nothingness, when memories of the past strike me like a flash of lightning, lighting up the dark void of the future, when everything will dissolve around me, and the whole world will disappear? Isn’t this the cry of a creature utterly overwhelmed, self-reliant, about to fall into inevitable destruction, deeply groaning at its own limitations, "My God! my God! why have you forsaken me?" And should I be ashamed to say the same thing? Should I not feel fearful at a sight that terrifies even the one who folds the heavens like a garment?

NOVEMBER 21.

NOV 21.

She does not feel, she does not know, that she is preparing a poison which will destroy us both; and I drink deeply of the draught which is to prove my destruction. What mean those looks of kindness with which she often—often? no, not often, but sometimes, regards me, that complacency with which she hears the involuntary sentiments which frequently escape me, and the tender pity for my sufferings which appears in her countenance?

She doesn’t realize that she’s creating a poison that will ruin us both, and I’m drinking deeply from the cup that will lead to my downfall. What do those kind looks she gives me mean—those looks that aren’t often, but sometimes, filled with warmth? Why does she seem pleased when she hears my unguarded thoughts that slip out, and why does that compassionate pity for my pain show on her face?

Yesterday, when I took leave she seized me by the hand, and said, "Adieu, dear Werther." Dear Werther! It was the first time she ever called me dear: the sound sunk deep into my heart. I have repeated it a hundred times; and last night, on going to bed, and talking to myself of various things, I suddenly said, "Good night, dear Werther!" and then could not but laugh at myself.

Yesterday, when I said goodbye, she grabbed my hand and said, "Goodbye, dear Werther." Dear Werther! It was the first time she ever called me that: the words went straight to my heart. I've repeated it a hundred times; and last night, as I got ready for bed and thought about different things, I suddenly said, "Good night, dear Werther!" and then couldn't help but laugh at myself.

NOVEMBER 22

NOV 22

I cannot pray, "Leave her to me!" and yet she often seems to belong to me. I cannot pray, "Give her to me!" for she is another's. In this way I affect mirth over my troubles; and, if I had time, I could compose a whole litany of antitheses.

I can't pray, "Leave her to me!" but she often feels like she belongs to me. I can't pray, "Give her to me!" because she is someone else's. This is how I pretend to be cheerful despite my problems; and if I had the time, I could write an entire list of contradictions.

NOVEMBER 24.

NOV 24.

She is sensible of my sufferings. This morning her look pierced my very soul. I found her alone, and she was silent: she steadfastly surveyed me. I no longer saw in her face the charms of beauty or the fire of genius: these had disappeared. But I was affected by an expression much more touching, a look of the deepest sympathy and of the softest pity. Why was I afraid to throw myself at her feet? Why did I not dare to take her in my arms, and answer her by a thousand kisses? She had recourse to her piano for relief, and in a low and sweet voice accompanied the music with delicious sounds. Her lips never appeared so lovely: they seemed but just to open, that they might imbibe the sweet tones which issued from the instrument, and return the heavenly vibration from her lovely mouth. Oh! who can express my sensations? I was quite overcome, and, bending down, pronounced this vow: "Beautiful lips, which the angels guard, never will I seek to profane your purity with a kiss." And yet, my friend, oh, I wish—but my heart is darkened by doubt and indecision—could I but taste felicity, and then die to expiate the sin! What sin?

She understands my pain. This morning, her gaze pierced my soul. I found her alone, and she was silent, looking at me intently. I no longer saw the beauty or spark of genius in her face; those had faded away. Instead, I was moved by a much deeper expression, one of profound sympathy and soft pity. Why was I afraid to throw myself at her feet? Why didn’t I dare to take her in my arms and respond with a thousand kisses? She turned to her piano for comfort, and with a gentle, sweet voice, she accompanied the music with beautiful sounds. Her lips had never looked so lovely; they seemed to have just opened, ready to absorb the sweet tones from the instrument and return the heavenly vibrations from her beautiful mouth. Oh! Who can describe what I felt? I was completely overcome, and bending down, I made this vow: "Beautiful lips, which angels guard, I will never seek to tarnish your purity with a kiss." And yet, my friend, oh, how I wish—but my heart is clouded by doubt and uncertainty—if only I could experience happiness and then die to atone for the sin! What sin?

NOVEMBER 26.

NOV 26.

Oftentimes I say to myself, "Thou alone art wretched: all other mortals are happy, none are distressed like thee!" Then I read a passage in an ancient poet, and I seem to understand my own heart. I have so much to endure! Have men before me ever been so wretched?

Oftentimes I say to myself, "You alone are miserable: all other people are happy, none are suffering like you!" Then I read a passage from an ancient poet, and I feel like I understand my own heart. I have so much to bear! Have others before me ever been so miserable?

NOVEMBER 30.

NOV 30.

I shall never be myself again! Wherever I go, some fatality occurs to distract me. Even to-day alas—for our destiny! alas for human nature!

I will never be the same again! No matter where I go, something tragic happens to throw me off course. Even today, sadly—for our fate! sadly for human nature!

About dinner-time I went to walk by the river-side, for I had no appetite. Everything around seemed gloomy: a cold and damp easterly wind blew from the mountains, and black, heavy clouds spread over the plain. I observed at a distance a man in a tattered coat: he was wandering among the rocks, and seemed to be looking for plants. When I approached, he turned round at the noise; and I saw that he had an interesting countenance in which a settled melancholy, strongly marked by benevolence, formed the principal feature. His long black hair was divided, and flowed over his shoulders. As his garb betokened a person of the lower order, I thought he would not take it ill if I inquired about his business; and I therefore asked what he was seeking. He replied, with a deep sigh, that he was looking for flowers, and could find none. "But it is not the season," I observed, with a smile. "Oh, there are so many flowers!" he answered, as he came nearer to me. "In my garden there are roses and honeysuckles of two sorts: one sort was given to me by my father! they grow as plentifully as weeds; I have been looking for them these two days, and cannot find them. There are flowers out there, yellow, blue, and red; and that centaury has a very pretty blossom: but I can find none of them." I observed his peculiarity, and therefore asked him, with an air of indifference, what he intended to do with his flowers. A strange smile overspread his countenance. Holding his finger to his mouth, he expressed a hope that I would not betray him; and he then informed me that he had promised to gather a nosegay for his mistress. "That is right," said I. "Oh!" he replied, "she possesses many other things as well: she is very rich." "And yet," I continued, "she likes your nosegays." "Oh, she has jewels and crowns!" he exclaimed. I asked who she was. "If the states-general would but pay me," he added, "I should be quite another man. Alas! there was a time when I was so happy; but that is past, and I am now—" He raised his swimming eyes to heaven. "And you were happy once?" I observed. "Ah, would I were so still!" was his reply. "I was then as gay and contented as a man can be." An old woman, who was coming toward us, now called out, "Henry, Henry! where are you? We have been looking for you everywhere: come to dinner." "Is he your son?" I inquired, as I went toward her. "Yes," she said: "he is my poor, unfortunate son. The Lord has sent me a heavy affliction." I asked whether he had been long in this state. She answered, "He has been as calm as he is at present for about six months. I thank Heaven that he has so far recovered: he was for one whole year quite raving, and chained down in a madhouse. Now he injures no one, but talks of nothing else than kings and queens. He used to be a very good, quiet youth, and helped to maintain me; he wrote a very fine hand; but all at once he became melancholy, was seized with a violent fever, grew distracted, and is now as you see. If I were only to tell you, sir—" I interrupted her by asking what period it was in which he boasted of having been so happy. "Poor boy!" she exclaimed, with a smile of compassion, "he means the time when he was completely deranged, a time he never ceases to regret, when he was in the madhouse, and unconscious of everything." I was thunderstruck: I placed a piece of money in her hand, and hastened away.

Around dinner time, I went for a walk by the river since I didn't have an appetite. Everything felt gloomy: a cold, damp wind from the east blew in from the mountains, and dark, heavy clouds covered the sky. In the distance, I saw a man in a tattered coat wandering among the rocks, seemingly searching for plants. When I got closer, he turned around at the sound, and I noticed he had an interesting face marked mainly by a deep sadness mixed with kindness. His long black hair was parted and flowed over his shoulders. Since he looked like a man from a lower social class, I thought he wouldn’t mind if I asked what he was doing. So, I inquired about his search. He sighed deeply and replied that he was looking for flowers but couldn’t find any. "But it’s not the season," I pointed out with a smile. "Oh, there are so many flowers!" he said as he approached me. "In my garden, there are roses and two types of honeysuckles: one type was given to me by my father! They grow as freely as weeds; I’ve been looking for them for the last two days and can’t find them. There are yellow, blue, and red flowers out there, and that centaury has a really pretty blossom, but I can’t find any of those either." Noticing his odd behavior, I casually asked what he planned to do with the flowers. A strange smile spread across his face. Putting his finger to his lips, he hoped I wouldn’t betray him; then he told me he had promised to gather a bouquet for his mistress. "That’s nice," I said. "Oh!" he replied, "she has many other things too; she’s very wealthy." "And yet," I continued, "she loves your bouquets." "Oh, she has jewels and crowns!" he exclaimed. I asked who she was. "If the government would just pay me," he added, "I would be a different man. Alas! there was a time when I was so happy; but that’s in the past, and now I am—" He lifted his tear-filled eyes to the sky. "And you were happy once?" I said. "Ah, I wish I still were!" he answered. "I was then as cheerful and satisfied as anyone could be." An old woman walking toward us then called out, "Henry, Henry! Where are you? We’ve been looking for you everywhere; come to dinner." "Is he your son?" I asked as I approached her. "Yes," she replied, "he is my poor, unfortunate son. The Lord has given me a heavy burden." I asked how long he had been like this. She said, "He’s been as calm as he is now for about six months. I thank Heaven he’s improved; for a whole year, he was completely raving, locked away in a madhouse. Now he harms no one, but all he talks about is kings and queens. He used to be a very good, quiet young man who supported me; he had beautiful handwriting; but suddenly he became depressed, fell into a severe fever, lost his mind, and is now as you see him. If I could just tell you, sir—" I interrupted her, asking what period he was referring to when he claimed he was so happy. "Poor boy!" she said, smiling with pity, "he means the time when he was completely delusional, the time he always regrets when he was in the madhouse and unaware of everything." I was stunned; I put some money in her hand and hurried away.

"You were happy!" I exclaimed, as I returned quickly to the town, "'as gay and contented as a man can be!'" God of heaven! and is this the destiny of man? Is he only happy before he has acquired his reason, or after he has lost it? Unfortunate being! And yet I envy your fate: I envy the delusion to which you are a victim. You go forth with joy to gather flowers for your princess,—in winter,—and grieve when you can find none, and cannot understand why they do not grow. But I wander forth without joy, without hope, without design; and I return as I came. You fancy what a man you would be if the states general paid you. Happy mortal, who can ascribe your wretchedness to an earthly cause! You do not know, you do not feel, that in your own distracted heart and disordered brain dwells the source of that unhappiness which all the potentates on earth cannot relieve.

"You were happy!" I exclaimed as I quickly returned to town. "As joyful and content as a man can be!" God in heaven! Is this the fate of man? Is he only happy before he gains his reason, or after he loses it? Poor soul! And yet I envy your situation: I envy the illusion that holds you captive. You joyfully go out to pick flowers for your princess— even in winter— and you feel sad when you can't find any, not understanding why they don't grow. But I walk out without joy, without hope, without purpose; I return just as I left. You imagine what kind of man you would be if the states general paid you. Happy man, who can blame your misery on something in the world! You don’t know, you don’t feel, that the source of your unhappiness lies within your own troubled heart and chaotic mind, a truth that all the kings on earth can’t change.

Let that man die unconsoled who can deride the invalid for undertaking a journey to distant, healthful springs, where he often finds only a heavier disease and a more painful death, or who can exult over the despairing mind of a sinner, who, to obtain peace of conscience and an alleviation of misery, makes a pilgrimage to the Holy Sepulchre. Each laborious step which galls his wounded feet in rough and untrodden paths pours a drop of balm into his troubled soul, and the journey of many a weary day brings a nightly relief to his anguished heart. Will you dare call this enthusiasm, ye crowd of pompous declaimers? Enthusiasm! O God! thou seest my tears. Thou hast allotted us our portion of misery: must we also have brethren to persecute us, to deprive us of our consolation, of our trust in thee, and in thy love and mercy? For our trust in the virtue of the healing root, or in the strength of the vine, what is it else than a belief in thee from whom all that surrounds us derives its healing and restoring powers? Father, whom I know not,—who wert once wont to fill my soul, but who now hidest thy face from me,—call me back to thee; be silent no longer; thy silence shall not delay a soul which thirsts after thee. What man, what father, could be angry with a son for returning to him suddenly, for falling on his neck, and exclaiming, "I am here again, my father! forgive me if I have anticipated my journey, and returned before the appointed time! The world is everywhere the same,—a scene of labour and pain, of pleasure and reward; but what does it all avail? I am happy only where thou art, and in thy presence am I content to suffer or enjoy." And wouldst thou, heavenly Father, banish such a child from thy presence?

Let that man die alone who can mock someone for going on a journey to distant, healing springs, where he often finds only worse illness and a more painful death, or who can take pleasure in the hopelessness of a sinner who makes a pilgrimage to the Holy Sepulchre in search of peace of mind and relief from suffering. Every painful step that hurts his wounded feet on rough, untrodden paths adds a bit of comfort to his troubled soul, and the journey of many exhausting days brings him nighttime relief from his aching heart. Would you dare call this enthusiasm, you crowd of arrogant speakers? Enthusiasm! Oh God! you see my tears. You’ve given us our share of suffering: must we also have brothers to torment us, to take away our comfort, our trust in you, and in your love and mercy? For our faith in the healing root or the strength of the vine, what is that but a belief in you, from whom all that surrounds us derives its healing and restorative power? Father, whom I do not know—who once filled my soul but now hides your face from me—bring me back to you; do not be silent any longer; your silence will not keep away a soul that longs for you. What man, what father, could be angry with a son for suddenly returning, falling on his neck, and saying, "I’m back, my father! Forgive me for coming home early, ahead of schedule! The world is the same everywhere—a place of labor and pain, of pleasure and reward; but what good does it all do? I am happy only where you are, and in your presence, I can bear any suffering or joy." And would you, heavenly Father, cast away such a child from your presence?

DECEMBER 1.

DEC 1.

Wilhelm, the man about whom I wrote to you—that man so enviable in his misfortunes—was secretary to Charlotte's father; and an unhappy passion for her which he cherished, concealed, and at length discovered, caused him to be dismissed from his situation. This made him mad. Think, whilst you peruse this plain narration, what an impression the circumstance has made upon me! But it was related to me by Albert with as much calmness as you will probably peruse it.

Wilhelm, the guy I wrote to you about—so enviable in his misfortunes—was the secretary to Charlotte's father. He had an unhappy crush on her that he kept hidden for a long time, but eventually it was uncovered, leading to his dismissal from his job. This drove him to madness. Just think about how much this situation has affected me as you read this straightforward account! But Albert told me about it with the same calmness that you’ll probably read it.

DECEMBER 4.

DEC 4.

I implore your attention. It is all over with me. I can support this state no longer. To-day I was sitting by Charlotte. She was playing upon her piano a succession of delightful melodies, with such intense expression! Her little sister was dressing her doll upon my lap. The tears came into my eyes. I leaned down, and looked intently at her wedding-ring: my tears fell—immediately she began to play that favourite, that divine, air which has so often enchanted me. I felt comfort from a recollection of the past, of those bygone days when that air was familiar to me; and then I recalled all the sorrows and the disappointments which I had since endured. I paced with hasty strides through the room, my heart became convulsed with painful emotions. At length I went up to her, and exclaimed With eagerness, "For Heaven's sake, play that air no longer!" She stopped, and looked steadfastly at me. She then said, with a smile which sunk deep into my heart, "Werther, you are ill: your dearest food is distasteful to you. But go, I entreat you, and endeavour to compose yourself." I tore myself away. God, thou seest my torments, and wilt end them!

I beg for your attention. It’s all over for me. I can’t handle this state any longer. Today, I was sitting next to Charlotte. She was playing a series of beautiful melodies on her piano, with such deep feeling! Her little sister was dressing her doll on my lap. Tears filled my eyes. I leaned down and looked closely at her wedding ring: my tears dropped—and right then she started playing that favorite, that incredible tune that has so often enchanted me. I found comfort in memories of the past, in those days when that tune was familiar to me; then I remembered all the sorrows and disappointments I’ve endured since. I paced quickly around the room, my heart twisted with painful emotions. Finally, I approached her and exclaimed eagerly, "For Heaven's sake, please stop playing that tune!" She paused and looked at me intently. Then she said, with a smile that struck deep into my heart, "Werther, you’re not well: your favorite food doesn’t please you anymore. But please, I urge you, try to calm yourself." I pulled away from her. God, you see my suffering, and you will end it!

DECEMBER 6.

DEC 6.

How her image haunts me! Waking or asleep, she fills my entire soul! Soon as I close my eyes, here, in my brain, where all the nerves of vision are concentrated, her dark eyes are imprinted. Here—I do not know how to describe it; but, if I shut my eyes, hers are immediately before me: dark as an abyss they open upon me, and absorb my senses.

How her image haunts me! Whether I'm awake or asleep, she fills my entire being! As soon as I close my eyes, in my mind, where all the visual nerves are focused, her dark eyes are etched in. I can't quite explain it; but, if I shut my eyes, they are right in front of me: dark as a void, they pull me in and consume my senses.

And what is man—that boasted demigod? Do not his powers fail when he most requires their use? And whether he soar in joy, or sink in sorrow, is not his career in both inevitably arrested? And, whilst he fondly dreams that he is grasping at infinity, does he not feel compelled to return to a consciousness of his cold, monotonous existence?

And what is man—that claimed demigod? Don’t his abilities let him down when he needs them the most? And whether he rises in joy or falls into sorrow, isn’t his journey in both cases inevitably stopped? And while he happily believes he is reaching for infinity, doesn’t he feel the urge to return to the awareness of his dull, repetitive existence?

THE EDITOR TO THE READER.

The Editor's Note.

It is a matter of extreme regret that we want original evidence of the last remarkable days of our friend; and we are, therefore, obliged to interrupt the progress of his correspondence, and to supply the deficiency by a connected narration.

It's really unfortunate that we need original proof of our friend's final remarkable days; because of this, we have to pause his correspondence and fill in the gaps with a continuous account.

I have felt it my duty to collect accurate information from the mouths of persons well acquainted with his history. The story is simple; and all the accounts agree, except in some unimportant particulars. It is true, that, with respect to the characters of the persons spoken of, opinions and judgments vary.

I felt it was my responsibility to gather accurate information from people who are knowledgeable about his history. The story is straightforward, and all the accounts align, except for some minor details. It's true that, when it comes to the characters of the individuals mentioned, opinions and judgments differ.

We have only, then, to relate conscientiously the facts which our diligent labour has enabled us to collect, to give the letters of the deceased, and to pay particular attention to the slightest fragment from his pen, more especially as it is so difficult to discover the real and correct motives of men who are not of the common order.

We just need to honestly share the information we've gathered through our hard work, present the letters of the deceased, and pay close attention to even the smallest piece of writing from him, especially since it's so challenging to understand the true and correct motivations of people who aren't typical.

Sorrow and discontent had taken deep root in Werther's soul, and gradually imparted their character to his whole being. The harmony of his mind became completely disturbed; a perpetual excitement and mental irritation, which weakened his natural powers, produced the saddest effects upon him, and rendered him at length the victim of an exhaustion against which he struggled with still more painful efforts than he had displayed, even in contending with his other misfortunes. His mental anxiety weakened his various good qualities; and he was soon converted into a gloomy companion, always unhappy and unjust in his ideas, the more wretched he became. This was, at least, the opinion of Albert's friends. They assert, moreover, that the character of Albert himself had undergone no change in the meantime: he was still the same being whom Werther had loved, honoured, and respected from the commencement. His love for Charlotte was unbounded: he was proud of her, and desired that she should be recognised by every one as the noblest of created beings. Was he, however, to blame for wishing to avert from her every appearance of suspicion? or for his unwillingness to share his rich prize with another, even for a moment, and in the most innocent manner? It is asserted that Albert frequently retired from his wife's apartment during Werther's visits; but this did not arise from hatred or aversion to his friend, but only from a feeling that his presence was oppressive to Werther.

Sorrow and dissatisfaction had taken deep root in Werther's soul and gradually shaped his entire being. The balance of his mind became completely disrupted; a constant state of excitement and mental irritation, which drained his natural abilities, had the saddest effects on him, ultimately making him a victim of an exhaustion he fought against with even more painful efforts than he had shown in facing his other misfortunes. His mental distress weakened his various good qualities, and he soon turned into a gloomy companion, always unhappy and unreasonable in his thoughts, which only made him more miserable. This was, at least, the view of Albert's friends. They also claimed that Albert himself had not changed in the meantime: he was still the same person whom Werther had loved, honored, and respected from the beginning. His love for Charlotte was immense; he took pride in her and wanted everyone to recognize her as the noblest of beings. But was he wrong for wanting to shield her from any hint of suspicion? Or for his reluctance to share his precious prize with anyone, even momentarily and in the most innocent way? It's said that Albert often left his wife's room during Werther's visits; however, this was not due to hatred or dislike for his friend, but simply because he felt his presence was a burden to Werther.

Charlotte's father, who was confined to the house by indisposition, was accustomed to send his carriage for her, that she might make excursions in the neighbourhood. One day the weather had been unusually severe, and the whole country was covered with snow.

Charlotte's father, who was stuck at home due to illness, usually sent his carriage for her so she could go out for rides in the area. One day, the weather was particularly harsh, and the entire countryside was blanketed in snow.

Werther went for Charlotte the following morning, in order that, if Albert were absent, he might conduct her home.

Werther went to pick up Charlotte the next morning, so that if Albert was not around, he could walk her home.

The beautiful weather produced but little impression on his troubled spirit. A heavy weight lay upon his soul, deep melancholy had taken possession of him, and his mind knew no change save from one painful thought to another.

The lovely weather hardly affected his troubled spirit. A heavy burden rested on his soul, deep sadness had taken hold of him, and his mind shifted from one painful thought to the next without any relief.

As he now never enjoyed internal peace, the condition of his fellow creatures was to him a perpetual source of trouble and distress. He believed he had disturbed the happiness of Albert and his wife; and, whilst he censured himself strongly for this, he began to entertain a secret dislike to Albert.

As he no longer found any inner peace, the state of his fellow beings became a constant source of trouble and distress for him. He thought he had disrupted the happiness of Albert and his wife; and while he harshly criticized himself for this, he started to secretly resent Albert.

His thoughts were occasionally directed to this point. "Yes," he would repeat to himself, with ill-concealed dissatisfaction, "yes, this is, after all, the extent of that confiding, dear, tender, and sympathetic love, that calm and eternal fidelity! What do I behold but satiety and indifference? Does not every frivolous engagement attract him more than his charming and lovely wife? Does he know how to prize his happiness? Can he value her as she deserves? He possesses her, it is true, I know that, as I know much more, and I have become accustomed to the thought that he will drive me mad, or, perhaps, murder me. Is his friendship toward me unimpaired? Does he not view my attachment to Charlotte as an infringement upon his rights, and consider my attention to her as a silent rebuke to himself? I know, and indeed feel, that he dislikes me, that he wishes for my absence, that my presence is hateful to him."

His thoughts occasionally drifted to this point. "Yeah," he would tell himself, with barely hidden frustration, "yeah, this is, after all, the limit of that trusting, dear, tender, and sympathetic love, that calm and everlasting loyalty! All I see is boredom and indifference. Doesn't every trivial distraction attract him more than his charming and lovely wife? Does he even know how to appreciate his happiness? Can he recognize her value as she deserves? He has her, that's for sure; I know that, and I’ve grown used to the thought that he might drive me crazy or, maybe, even kill me. Is his friendship for me still intact? Doesn’t he see my feelings for Charlotte as stepping on his toes, and consider my interest in her as a quiet criticism of himself? I know, and I can definitely feel, that he doesn’t like me, that he wants me gone, that my presence annoys him."

He would often pause when on his way to visit Charlotte, stand still, as though in doubt, and seem desirous of returning, but would nevertheless proceed; and, engaged in such thoughts and soliloquies as we have described, he finally reached the hunting-lodge, with a sort of involuntary consent.

He often stopped on his way to visit Charlotte, standing still as if uncertain, and seemed like he wanted to turn back, but he would still go on; and lost in the thoughts and musings we've mentioned, he eventually arrived at the hunting lodge, almost reluctantly.

Upon one occasion he entered the house; and, inquiring for Charlotte, he observed that the inmates were in a state of unusual confusion. The eldest boy informed him that a dreadful misfortune had occurred at Walheim,—that a peasant had been murdered! But this made little impression upon him. Entering the apartment, he found Charlotte engaged reasoning with her father, who, in spite of his infirmity, insisted on going to the scene of the crime, in order to institute an inquiry. The criminal was unknown; the victim had been found dead at his own door that morning. Suspicions were excited: the murdered man had been in the service of a widow, and the person who had previously filled the situation had been dismissed from her employment.

One day, he walked into the house and asked for Charlotte, noticing that the family was unusually flustered. The oldest boy told him that a terrible tragedy had happened at Walheim—someone had been murdered! But this didn't really faze him. When he went into the room, he found Charlotte trying to reason with her father, who, despite his frailty, insisted on going to the crime scene to investigate. The criminal was unknown; the victim had been found dead right outside his door that morning. This raised suspicions: the murdered man had worked for a widow, and the person who had previously held that position had been let go.

As soon as Werther heard this, he exclaimed with great excitement, "Is it possible! I must go to the spot—I cannot delay a moment!" He hastened to Walheim. Every incident returned vividly to his remembrance; and he entertained not the slightest doubt that that man was the murderer to whom he had so often spoken, and for whom he entertained so much regard. His way took him past the well-known lime trees, to the house where the body had been carried; and his feelings were greatly excited at the sight of the fondly recollected spot. That threshold where the neighbours' children had so often played together was stained with blood; love and attachment, the noblest feelings of human nature, had been converted into violence and murder. The huge trees stood there leafless and covered with hoarfrost; the beautiful hedgerows which surrounded the old churchyard wall were withered; and the gravestones, half covered with snow, were visible through the openings.

As soon as Werther heard this, he exclaimed with great excitement, "Is it possible! I have to go to the spot—I can't wait another moment!" He rushed to Walheim. Every detail came back to him clearly; and he had no doubt that the man was the murderer he had often talked about and felt a deep respect for. His path took him past the familiar lime trees, to the house where the body had been taken; and he was deeply stirred at the sight of the once-treasured place. That threshold where the neighbor's kids had often played together was stained with blood; love and connection, the highest feelings of humanity, had turned into violence and murder. The massive trees stood there bare and coated with frost; the beautiful hedgerows around the old churchyard wall were wilted, and the gravestones, half-covered with snow, peeked through the gaps.

As he approached the inn, in front of which the whole village was assembled, screams were suddenly heard. A troop of armed peasants was seen approaching, and every one exclaimed that the criminal had been apprehended. Werther looked, and was not long in doubt. The prisoner was no other than the servant, who had been formerly so attached to the widow, and whom he had met prowling about, with that suppressed anger and ill-concealed despair, which we have before described.

As he got closer to the inn, where everyone in the village had gathered, they suddenly heard screams. A group of armed villagers was seen coming toward them, and everyone shouted that they had caught the criminal. Werther looked and quickly realized who it was. The prisoner was none other than the servant who had once been so devoted to the widow, and whom he had spotted lurking around, showing that repressed anger and barely hidden despair he had described earlier.

"What have you done, unfortunate man?" inquired Werther, as he advanced toward the prisoner. The latter turned his eyes upon him in silence, and then replied with perfect composure; "No one will now marry her, and she will marry no one." The prisoner was taken into the inn, and Werther left the place. The mind of Werther was fearfully excited by this shocking occurrence. He ceased, however, to be oppressed by his usual feeling of melancholy, moroseness, and indifference to everything that passed around him. He entertained a strong degree of pity for the prisoner, and was seized with an indescribable anxiety to save him from his impending fate. He considered him so unfortunate, he deemed his crime so excusable, and thought his own condition so nearly similar, that he felt convinced he could make every one else view the matter in the light in which he saw it himself. He now became anxious to undertake his defence, and commenced composing an eloquent speech for the occasion; and, on his way to the hunting-lodge, he could not refrain from speaking aloud the statement which he resolved to make to the judge.

"What have you done, unfortunate man?" Werther asked as he moved closer to the prisoner. The prisoner looked at him silently and then replied calmly, "No one will marry her now, and she won't marry anyone." The prisoner was taken into the inn, and Werther left the scene. Werther's mind was deeply troubled by this shocking event. However, he stopped feeling the usual heaviness of his melancholy, gloom, and indifference to everything around him. He felt a strong pity for the prisoner and was overtaken by an intense urge to save him from his looming fate. He saw the man as very unfortunate, thought his crime was justifiable, and felt that his own situation was similar enough that he was sure he could make everyone else see it as he did. He became eager to take on his defense and began crafting a passionate speech for the occasion. As he headed to the hunting lodge, he couldn't help but speak aloud the statement he planned to deliver to the judge.

Upon his arrival, he found Albert had been before him: and he was a little perplexed by this meeting; but he soon recovered himself, and expressed his opinion with much warmth to the judge. The latter shook his head doubtingly; and although Werther urged his case with the utmost zeal, feeling, and determination in defence of his client, yet, as we may easily suppose, the judge was not much influenced by his appeal. On the contrary, he interrupted him in his address, reasoned with him seriously, and even administered a rebuke to him for becoming the advocate of a murderer. He demonstrated, that, according to this precedent, every law might be violated, and the public security utterly destroyed. He added, moreover, that in such a case he could himself do nothing, without incurring the greatest responsibility; that everything must follow in the usual course, and pursue the ordinary channel.

When he arrived, he found that Albert had gotten there first, and he felt a bit confused by the encounter. However, he quickly composed himself and shared his views passionately with the judge. The judge shook his head in doubt, and even though Werther presented his case with immense energy, emotion, and determination to defend his client, it was clear the judge wasn't swayed by his argument. In fact, he cut him off during his speech, debated with him seriously, and even scolded him for defending a murderer. He argued that if this became the norm, any law could be broken, endangering public safety. He also added that in such a situation, he couldn't take any action without facing serious consequences; everything had to proceed as it ordinarily would.

Werther, however, did not abandon his enterprise, and even besought the judge to connive at the flight of the prisoner. But this proposal was peremptorily rejected. Albert, who had taken some part in the discussion, coincided in opinion with the judge. At this Werther became enraged, and took his leave in great anger, after the judge had more than once assured him that the prisoner could not be saved.

Werther, however, did not give up on his plan and even asked the judge to look the other way to allow the prisoner to escape. But this suggestion was firmly turned down. Albert, who had participated in the discussion, agreed with the judge's opinion. At this, Werther became furious and left in a fit of anger, after the judge repeatedly assured him that there was no way to save the prisoner.

The excess of his grief at this assurance may be inferred from a note we have found amongst his papers, and which was doubtless written upon this very occasion.

The depth of his grief at this reassurance can be understood from a note we discovered among his papers, which was surely written on this very occasion.

"You cannot be saved, unfortunate man! I see clearly that we cannot be saved!"

"You can't be saved, unfortunate man! I see clearly that we can't be saved!"

Werther was highly incensed at the observations which Albert had made to the judge in this matter of the prisoner. He thought he could detect therein a little bitterness toward himself personally; and although, upon reflection, it could not escape his sound judgment that their view of the matter was correct, he felt the greatest possible reluctance to make such an admission.

Werther was really upset about the comments Albert had made to the judge regarding the prisoner. He thought he could sense a hint of resentment aimed at him personally; and even though he realized upon reflection that their perspective on the situation was correct, he was extremely reluctant to accept that.

A memorandum of Werther's upon this point, expressive of his general feelings toward Albert, has been found amongst his papers.

A memo from Werther about this, reflecting his overall feelings toward Albert, has been found among his papers.

"What is the use of my continually repeating that he is a good and estimable man? He is an inward torment to me, and I am incapable of being just toward him."

"What’s the point of me constantly saying that he’s a good and respectable guy? He’s an inner torment for me, and I can’t bring myself to be fair to him."

One fine evening in winter, when the weather seemed inclined to thaw, Charlotte and Albert were returning home together. The former looked from time to time about her, as if she missed Werther's company. Albert began to speak of him, and censured him for his prejudices. He alluded to his unfortunate attachment, and wished it were possible to discontinue his acquaintance. "I desire it on our own account," he added; "and I request you will compel him to alter his deportment toward you, and to visit you less frequently. The world is censorious, and I know that here and there we are spoken of." Charlotte made no reply, and Albert seemed to feel her silence. At least, from that time he never again spoke of Werther; and, when she introduced the subject, he allowed the conversation to die away, or else he directed the discourse into another channel.

One chilly winter evening, when the weather seemed ready to warm up, Charlotte and Albert were walking home together. Charlotte looked around from time to time, as if she missed Werther's company. Albert started talking about him and criticized Werther for his biases. He mentioned his unfortunate feelings and wished he could just stop associating with him. "I want this for our own sake," he added. "I ask that you make him change how he behaves towards you and come to visit you less often. People are judgmental, and I know that we’re talked about here and there." Charlotte didn’t respond, and Albert seemed to notice her silence. After that, he never brought up Werther again; when she did mention him, he let the conversation fade or steered it in another direction.

The vain attempt Werther had made to save the unhappy murderer was the last feeble glimmering of a flame about to be extinguished. He sank almost immediately afterward into a state of gloom and inactivity, until he was at length brought to perfect distraction by learning that he was to be summoned as a witness against the prisoner, who asserted his complete innocence.

The pointless effort Werther had made to save the unfortunate killer was the final weak flicker of a flame ready to go out. He quickly fell into a deep mood and inactivity, until he was finally driven to total distraction upon discovering that he was going to be called as a witness against the accused, who claimed he was completely innocent.

His mind now became oppressed by the recollection of every misfortune of his past life. The mortification he had suffered at the ambassador's, and his subsequent troubles, were revived in his memory. He became utterly inactive. Destitute of energy, he was cut off from every pursuit and occupation which compose the business of common life; and he became a victim to his own susceptibility, and to his restless passion for the most amiable and beloved of women, whose peace he destroyed. In this unvarying monotony of existence his days were consumed; and his powers became exhausted without aim or design, until they brought him to a sorrowful end.

His mind was now weighed down by the memories of every misfortune from his past. The embarrassment he experienced at the ambassador's, along with his ongoing troubles, flooded back into his thoughts. He became completely inactive. Without any energy, he was disconnected from all the activities that make up everyday life, and he fell prey to his own sensitivity and his restless desire for the kindest and most beloved woman, whose peace he disrupted. In this endless monotony of life, his days dragged on; his abilities drained away aimlessly, ultimately leading him to a tragic end.

A few letters which he left behind, and which we here subjoin, afford the best proofs of his anxiety of mind and of the depth of his passion, as well as of his doubts and struggles, and of his weariness of life.

A few letters he left behind, which we include here, provide the best evidence of his troubled mind, deep passion, doubts, struggles, and fatigue with life.

DECEMBER 12.

DEC 12.

Dear Wilhelm, I am reduced to the condition of those unfortunate wretches who believe they are pursued by an evil spirit. Sometimes I am oppressed, not by apprehension or fear, but by an inexpressible internal sensation, which weighs upon my heart, and impedes my breath! Then I wander forth at night, even in this tempestuous season, and feel pleasure in surveying the dreadful scenes around me.

Dear Wilhelm, I find myself like those unlucky people who think they're being chased by a malevolent spirit. Sometimes I feel weighed down, not by worry or fear, but by an indescribable feeling inside me that presses on my heart and makes it hard to breathe! So I go out at night, even in this stormy weather, and I find a strange pleasure in taking in the frightening sights around me.

Yesterday evening I went forth. A rapid thaw had suddenly set in: I had been informed that the river had risen, that the brooks had all overflowed their banks, and that the whole vale of Walheim was under water! Upon the stroke of twelve I hastened forth. I beheld a fearful sight. The foaming torrents rolled from the mountains in the moonlight,—fields and meadows, trees and hedges, were confounded together; and the entire valley was converted into a deep lake, which was agitated by the roaring wind! And when the moon shone forth, and tinged the black clouds with silver, and the impetuous torrent at my feet foamed and resounded with awful and grand impetuosity, I was overcome by a mingled sensation of apprehension and delight. With extended arms I looked down into the yawning abyss, and cried, "Plunge!'" For a moment my senses forsook me, in the intense delight of ending my sorrows and my sufferings by a plunge into that gulf! And then I felt as if I were rooted to the earth, and incapable of seeking an end to my woes! But my hour is not yet come: I feel it is not. O Wilhelm, how willingly could I abandon my existence to ride the whirlwind, or to embrace the torrent! and then might not rapture perchance be the portion of this liberated soul?

Yesterday evening, I went out. A quick thaw had suddenly set in: I had been told that the river had risen, that all the brooks had overflowed their banks, and that the entire Walheim valley was underwater! At the stroke of midnight, I rushed out. I saw a terrifying sight. The foaming waters were rushing down from the mountains in the moonlight—fields, meadows, trees, and hedges were all tangled together; and the whole valley had turned into a deep lake, stirred up by the howling wind! And when the moon came out, lighting up the dark clouds with silver, and the furious torrent at my feet roared and crashed with terrifying and grand intensity, I was overwhelmed by a mix of fear and joy. With my arms outstretched, I looked down into the gaping abyss and shouted, "Jump!" For a moment, I lost my senses in the intense pleasure of wanting to end my sorrows and suffering by jumping into that chasm! Then I felt as if I were glued to the ground, unable to find a way to escape my pain! But my time has not yet come: I know it isn’t. Oh Wilhelm, how gladly I would give up my life to ride the storm or embrace the torrent! And then could ecstasy perhaps be the fate of this liberated soul?

I turned my sorrowful eyes toward a favourite spot, where I was accustomed to sit with Charlotte beneath a willow after a fatiguing walk. Alas! it was covered with water, and with difficulty I found even the meadow. And the fields around the hunting-lodge, thought I. Has our dear bower been destroyed by this unpitying storm? And a beam of past happiness streamed upon me, as the mind of a captive is illumined by dreams of flocks and herds and bygone joys of home! But I am free from blame. I have courage to die! Perhaps I have,—but I still sit here, like a wretched pauper, who collects fagots, and begs her bread from door to door, that she may prolong for a few days a miserable existence which she is unwilling to resign.

I turned my sorrowful eyes toward a favorite spot, where I used to sit with Charlotte under a willow after a tiring walk. Unfortunately, it was covered with water, and I struggled to find even the meadow. And the fields around the hunting lodge, I wondered. Has our beloved retreat been destroyed by this merciless storm? A flash of past happiness hit me, like how a captive's mind is lit up by dreams of flocks and herds and the joys of home! But I’m not to blame. I have the courage to die! Maybe I do, but I still sit here, like a miserable beggar who gathers firewood and begs for bread from door to door, just to extend for a few more days a pitiful life she’s reluctant to give up.

DECEMBER 15.

DEC 15.

What is the matter with me, dear Wilhelm? I am afraid of myself! Is not my love for her of the purest, most holy, and most brotherly nature? Has my soul ever been sullied by a single sensual desire? but I will make no protestations. And now, ye nightly visions, how truly have those mortals understood you, who ascribe your various contradictory effects to some invincible power! This night I tremble at the avowal—I held her in my arms, locked in a close embrace: I pressed her to my bosom, and covered with countless kisses those dear lips which murmured in reply soft protestations of love. My sight became confused by the delicious intoxication of her eyes. Heavens! is it sinful to revel again in such happiness, to recall once more those rapturous moments with intense delight? Charlotte! Charlotte! I am lost! My senses are bewildered, my recollection is confused, mine eyes are bathed in tears—I am ill; and yet I am well—I wish for nothing—I have no desires—it were better I were gone.

What’s wrong with me, dear Wilhelm? I’m afraid of myself! Isn’t my love for her the purest, most holy, and most brotherly kind? Has my soul ever been tainted by a single lustful thought? But I won’t make any declarations. And now, you nightly visions, how well those people understood you who blame your various mixed effects on some unstoppable force! Tonight, I tremble at the confession—I held her in my arms, wrapped in a tight embrace: I pressed her to my chest and showered her dear lips with countless kisses while she softly whispered feelings of love in return. My vision became blurred from the intoxicating beauty of her eyes. Oh heavens! Is it wrong to indulge in such happiness again, to relive those ecstatic moments with such intense pleasure? Charlotte! Charlotte! I am lost! My senses are spinning, my memory is jumbled, my eyes are filled with tears—I am unwell; and yet I feel fine—I desire nothing—I have no wants—it would be better if I were gone.

Under the circumstances narrated above, a determination to quit this world had now taken fixed possession of Werther's soul. Since Charlotte's return, this thought had been the final object of all his hopes and wishes; but he had resolved that such a step should not be taken with precipitation, but with calmness and tranquillity, and with the most perfect deliberation.

Under the circumstances described above, a decision to leave this world had now fully taken hold of Werther's soul. Since Charlotte's return, this idea had become the ultimate focus of all his hopes and desires; however, he had resolved that this step should not be taken in haste, but with calmness and tranquility, and after careful consideration.

His troubles and internal struggles may be understood from the following fragment, which was found, without any date, amongst his papers, and appears to have formed the beginning of a letter to Wilhelm.

His troubles and internal struggles can be understood from the following fragment, which was found undated among his papers and seems to have been the start of a letter to Wilhelm.

"Her presence, her fate, her sympathy for me, have power still to extract tears from my withered brain.

"Her presence, her fate, her compassion for me still have the power to draw tears from my desolate mind."

"One lifts up the curtain, and passes to the other side,—that is all! And why all these doubts and delays? Because we know not what is behind—because there is no returning—and because our mind infers that all is darkness and confusion, where we have nothing but uncertainty."

"One lifts the curtain and steps to the other side—that's it! So why all these doubts and delays? Because we don’t know what’s behind it—because there’s no going back—and because our minds assume that everything is dark and chaotic, where we only have uncertainty."

His appearance at length became quite altered by the effect of his melancholy thoughts; and his resolution was now finally and irrevocably taken, of which the following ambiguous letter, which he addressed to his friend, may appear to afford some proof.

His appearance eventually changed a lot due to his sad thoughts; and he had made up his mind, once and for all, which the following unclear letter he wrote to his friend may seem to support.

DECEMBER 20.

DEC 20.

I am grateful to your love, Wilhelm, for having repeated your advice so seasonably. Yes, you are right: it is undoubtedly better that I should depart. But I do not entirely approve your scheme of returning at once to your neighbourhood; at least, I should like to make a little excursion on the way, particularly as we may now expect a continued frost, and consequently good roads. I am much pleased with your intention of coming to fetch me; only delay your journey for a fortnight, and wait for another letter from me. One should gather nothing before it is ripe, and a fortnight sooner or later makes a great difference. Entreat my mother to pray for her son, and tell her I beg her pardon for all the unhappiness I have occasioned her. It has ever been my fate to give pain to those whose happiness I should have promoted. Adieu, my dearest friend. May every blessing of Heaven attend you! Farewell.

I really appreciate your love, Wilhelm, for reminding me of your advice just when I needed it. Yes, you’re right: it’s definitely better for me to leave. But I’m not totally on board with your plan to come back to your area right away; at least, I’d like to take a little trip on the way, especially since we can expect a long stretch of cold weather and, thus, good roads. I’m really glad to hear you want to come get me; just hold off on your journey for two weeks and wait for another letter from me. You shouldn't rush things before they’re ready, and two weeks can make a big difference. Please ask my mom to pray for her son, and tell her I’m sorry for all the trouble I've caused her. It’s always been my luck to hurt those whose happiness I should have supported. Goodbye, my dearest friend. May all of Heaven's blessings be with you! Farewell.

We find it difficult to express the emotions with which Charlotte's soul was agitated during the whole of this time, whether in relation to her husband or to her unfortunate friend; although we are enabled, by our knowledge of her character, to understand their nature.

We struggle to describe the emotions that Charlotte felt throughout this time, whether concerning her husband or her unfortunate friend; however, our understanding of her character allows us to grasp their essence.

It is certain that she had formed a determination, by every means in her power to keep Werther at a distance; and, if she hesitated in her decision, it was from a sincere feeling of friendly pity, knowing how much it would cost him, indeed, that he would find it almost impossible to comply with her wishes. But various causes now urged her to be firm. Her husband preserved a strict silence about the whole matter; and she never made it a subject of conversation, feeling bound to prove to him by her conduct that her sentiments agreed with his.

It’s clear that she had made up her mind to do everything in her power to keep Werther away. If she wavered in her decision, it was because she genuinely felt sorry for him, knowing how hard it would be for him and that he would find it nearly impossible to accept her wishes. But several reasons pushed her to be resolute. Her husband kept quiet about the whole situation, and she never brought it up in conversation, feeling she needed to show him through her actions that her feelings matched his.

The same day, which was the Sunday before Christmas, after Werther had written the last-mentioned letter to his friend, he came in the evening to Charlotte's house, and found her alone. She was busy preparing some little gifts for her brothers and sisters, which were to be distributed to them on Christmas Day. He began talking of the delight of the children, and of that age when the sudden appearance of the Christmas-tree, decorated with fruit and sweetmeats, and lighted up with wax candles, causes such transports of joy. "You shall have a gift too, if you behave well," said Charlotte, hiding her embarrassment under sweet smile. "And what do you call behaving well? What should I do, what can I do, my dear Charlotte?" said he. "Thursday night," she answered, "is Christmas Eve. The children are all to be here, and my father too: there is a present for each; do you come likewise, but do not come before that time." Werther started. "I desire you will not: it must be so," she continued. "I ask it of you as a favour, for my own peace and tranquillity. We cannot go on in this manner any longer." He turned away his face, walked hastily up and down the room, muttering indistinctly, "We cannot go on in this manner any longer!" Charlotte, seeing the violent agitation into which these words had thrown him, endeavoured to divert his thoughts by different questions, but in vain. "No, Charlotte!" he exclaimed; "I will never see you any more!" "And why so?" she answered. "We may—we must see each other again; only let it be with more discretion. Oh! why were you born with that excessive, that ungovernable passion for everything that is dear to you?" Then, taking his hand, she said, "I entreat of you to be more calm: your talents, your understanding, your genius, will furnish you with a thousand resources. Be a man, and conquer an unhappy attachment toward a creature who can do nothing but pity you." He bit his lips, and looked at her with a gloomy countenance. She continued to hold his hand. "Grant me but a moment's patience, Werther," she said. "Do you not see that you are deceiving yourself, that you are seeking your own destruction? Why must you love me, me only, who belong to another? I fear, I much fear, that it is only the impossibility of possessing me which makes your desire for me so strong." He drew back his hand, whilst he surveyed her with a wild and angry look. "'Tis well!" he exclaimed, "'tis very well! Did not Albert furnish you with this reflection? It is profound, a very profound remark." "A reflection that any one might easily make," she answered; "and is there not a woman in the whole world who is at liberty, and has the power to make you happy? Conquer yourself: look for such a being, and believe me when I say that you will certainly find her. I have long felt for you, and for us all: you have confined yourself too long within the limits of too narrow a circle. Conquer yourself; make an effort: a short journey will be of service to you. Seek and find an object worthy of your love; then return hither, and let us enjoy together all the happiness of the most perfect friendship."

The same day, which was the Sunday before Christmas, after Werther had written the last letter to his friend, he came to Charlotte's house in the evening and found her alone. She was busy preparing little gifts for her brothers and sisters, which she planned to give them on Christmas Day. He started talking about the joy of children and that age when the sudden appearance of the Christmas tree, decorated with fruit and sweets and lit with wax candles, brings such excitement. "You’ll get a gift too, if you behave well," Charlotte said, trying to hide her embarrassment with a sweet smile. "And what do you mean by behaving well? What should I do, what can I do, my dear Charlotte?" he asked. "Thursday night," she replied, "is Christmas Eve. The children will all be here, along with my father: there’s a gift for each of them; you should come too, but not before then." Werther was taken aback. "I ask you not to: it has to be this way," she continued. "I’m asking you as a favor, for my own peace and calm. We can’t keep going on like this." He turned away, pacing the room, muttering indistinctly, "We can’t go on like this!" Seeing the intense agitation these words caused him, Charlotte tried to change the subject with various questions, but it was no use. "No, Charlotte!" he shouted; "I will never see you again!" "And why not?" she replied. "We may—we must see each other again; just let it be with more discretion. Oh! why were you born with such a strong, unrestrained passion for everything you love?" Then, taking his hand, she said, "I beg you to be calmer: your talents, your understanding, your genius will provide you with countless options. Be a man and overcome this unhappy attachment to someone who can only pity you." He bit his lips and looked at her gloomily. She kept holding his hand. "Just give me a moment’s patience, Werther," she said. "Can’t you see that you’re deceiving yourself, that you’re seeking your own destruction? Why must you love me, only me, who belongs to someone else? I fear, I really fear, that it’s only the impossibility of having me that makes your desire for me so intense." He pulled his hand away, surveying her with a wild and angry look. "That’s great!" he exclaimed, "that’s just great! Didn’t Albert give you this idea? It’s profound, a very profound observation." "An observation anyone could easily make," she replied; "is there not a woman in the whole world who is free and can make you happy? Control yourself: look for someone like that, and believe me when I say that you will surely find her. I’ve long felt for you, and for all of us: you’ve limited yourself within too narrow a circle for too long. Control yourself; make an effort: a short trip will do you good. Seek and find someone worthy of your love; then come back here, and let’s enjoy together all the happiness of the most perfect friendship."

"This speech," replied Werther with a cold smile, "this speech should be printed, for the benefit of all teachers. My dear Charlotte, allow me but a short time longer, and all will be well." "But however, Werther," she added, "do not come again before Christmas." He was about to make some answer, when Albert came in. They saluted each other coldly, and with mutual embarrassment paced up and down the room. Werther made some common remarks; Albert did the same, and their conversation soon dropped. Albert asked his wife about some household matters; and, finding that his commissions were not executed, he used some expressions which, to Werther's ear, savoured of extreme harshness. He wished to go, but had not power to move; and in this situation he remained till eight o'clock, his uneasiness and discontent continually increasing. At length the cloth was laid for supper, and he took up his hat and stick. Albert invited him to remain; but Werther, fancying that he was merely paying a formal compliment, thanked him coldly, and left the house.

"This speech," Werther replied with a cold smile, "should be printed for the benefit of all teachers. My dear Charlotte, just give me a little more time, and everything will be fine." "But still, Werther," she added, "please don't come back before Christmas." He was about to respond when Albert walked in. They exchanged polite but cold greetings, both feeling awkward as they paced around the room. Werther made some small talk; Albert did the same, but their conversation quickly fizzled out. Albert asked his wife about some household issues, and when he realized his requests hadn't been fulfilled, he expressed himself in a way that sounded very harsh to Werther's ears. He wanted to leave but felt stuck, remaining in that uncomfortable situation until eight o'clock, his anxiety and frustration growing. Finally, the table was set for supper, and he picked up his hat and stick. Albert invited him to stay, but Werther, thinking he was only being polite, thanked him coolly and left the house.

Werther returned home, took the candle from his servant, and retired to his room alone. He talked for some time with great earnestness to himself, wept aloud, walked in a state of great excitement through his chamber; till at length, without undressing, he threw himself on the bed, where he was found by his servant at eleven o'clock, when the latter ventured to enter the room, and take off his boots. Werther did not prevent him, but forbade him to come in the morning till he should ring.

Werther got home, took the candle from his servant, and went to his room by himself. He spoke to himself for a while with intense emotion, cried out loud, and paced anxiously around his room until finally, without changing his clothes, he collapsed onto the bed. His servant found him at eleven o'clock when he dared to enter the room and take off his boots. Werther didn’t stop him but told him not to come back in the morning until he rang the bell.

On Monday morning, the 21st of December, he wrote to Charlotte the following letter, which was found, sealed, on his bureau after his death, and was given to her. I shall insert it in fragments; as it appears, from several circumstances, to have been written in that manner.

On Monday morning, December 21st, he wrote the following letter to Charlotte, which was found sealed on his desk after his death and given to her. I will include it in parts, as it seems from several details that it was written that way.

"It is all over, Charlotte: I am resolved to die! I make this declaration deliberately and coolly, without any romantic passion, on this morning of the day when I am to see you for the last time. At the moment you read these lines, O best of women, the cold grave will hold the inanimate remains of that restless and unhappy being who, in the last moments of his existence, knew no pleasure so great as that of conversing with you! I have passed a dreadful night or rather, let me say, a propitious one; for it has given me resolution, it has fixed my purpose. I am resolved to die. When I tore myself from you yesterday, my senses were in tumult and disorder; my heart was oppressed, hope and pleasure had fled from me for ever, and a petrifying cold had seized my wretched being. I could scarcely reach my room. I threw myself on my knees; and Heaven, for the last time, granted me the consolation of shedding tears. A thousand ideas, a thousand schemes, arose within my soul; till at length one last, fixed, final thought took possession of my heart. It was to die. I lay down to rest; and in the morning, in the quiet hour of awakening, the same determination was upon me. To die! It is not despair: it is conviction that I have filled up the measure of my sufferings, that I have reached my appointed term, and must sacrifice myself for thee. Yes, Charlotte, why should I not avow it? One of us three must die: it shall be Werther. O beloved Charlotte! this heart, excited by rage and fury, has often conceived the horrid idea of murdering your husband—you—myself! The lot is cast at length. And in the bright, quiet evenings of summer, when you sometimes wander toward the mountains, let your thoughts then turn to me: recollect how often you have watched me coming to meet you from the valley; then bend your eyes upon the churchyard which contains my grave, and, by the light of the setting sun, mark how the evening breeze waves the tall grass which grows above my tomb. I was calm when I began this letter, but the recollection of these scenes makes me weep like a child."

"It's all over, Charlotte: I've decided to end my life! I say this clearly and without any romantic drama, on this morning when I'm going to see you for the last time. By the time you read this, dear woman, the cold grave will hold the lifeless body of someone who, in his final moments, found no greater joy than talking with you! I had a terrible night or, I should say, a revealing one; it has given me the strength to make my decision. I'm determined to die. When I pulled away from you yesterday, I was in chaos; my heart was heavy, hope and joy had disappeared forever, and a freezing numbness took over my wretched self. I could barely make it to my room. I fell to my knees, and Heaven allowed me, for one last time, to cry. A thousand thoughts, a thousand plans, surged through my mind until finally one last, fixed, ultimate thought filled my heart: to die. I lay down to rest; and in the morning, during the peaceful moment of waking up, the same resolve was upon me. To die! It's not despair: it's the realization that I've reached the limit of my suffering, that my time is up, and I have to sacrifice myself for you. Yes, Charlotte, why shouldn't I admit it? One of us three must die: it will be Werther. Oh, beloved Charlotte! This heart, stirred by anger and despair, has often had the horrifying thought of killing your husband—yourself—me! The decision is made at last. And in the bright, peaceful summer evenings, when you sometimes stroll towards the mountains, think of me: remember how often you've seen me coming to meet you from the valley; then look toward the churchyard where my grave lies, and, by the light of the setting sun, watch how the evening breeze sways the tall grass over my tomb. I was calm when I started this letter, but remembering these moments makes me cry like a child."

About ten in the morning, Werther called his servant, and, whilst he was dressing, told him that in a few days he intended to set out upon a journey, and bade him therefore lay his clothes in order, and prepare them for packing up, call in all his accounts, fetch home the books he had lent, and give two months' pay to the poor dependants who were accustomed to receive from him a weekly allowance.

About ten in the morning, Werther called for his servant and, while getting dressed, told him that he planned to leave for a journey in a few days. He instructed him to organize his clothes and prepare them for packing, settle all his accounts, bring back the books he had lent out, and give two months' pay to the poor dependents who usually received a weekly allowance from him.

He breakfasted in his room, and then mounted his horse, and went to visit the steward, who, however, was not at home. He walked pensively in the garden, and seemed anxious to renew all the ideas that were most painful to him.

He had breakfast in his room, then got on his horse and went to see the steward, who wasn’t at home. He strolled thoughtfully in the garden, looking like he was eager to relive all the thoughts that troubled him the most.

The children did not suffer him to remain alone long. They followed him, skipping and dancing before him, and told him, that after to-morrow and tomorrow and one day more, they were to receive their Christmas gift from Charlotte; and they then recounted all the wonders of which they had formed ideas in their child imaginations. "Tomorrow and tomorrow," said he, "and one day more!" And he kissed them tenderly. He was going; but the younger boy stopped him, to whisper something in his ear. He told him that his elder brothers had written splendid New-Year's wishes so large! one for papa, and another for Albert and Charlotte, and one for Werther; and they were to be presented early in the morning, on New Year's Day. This quite overcame him. He made each of the children a present, mounted his horse, left his compliments for papa and mamma, and, with tears in his eyes, rode away from the place.

The children didn't let him be alone for long. They followed him, skipping and dancing in front of him, and told him that the day after tomorrow, plus one more day, they would get their Christmas gift from Charlotte. Then they shared all the amazing things they had imagined in their young minds. "The day after tomorrow, plus one more day!" he exclaimed, kissing them gently. He was about to leave when the younger boy stopped him to whisper something in his ear. He told him that his older brothers had written big, amazing New Year's wishes—one for Dad, another for Albert and Charlotte, and one for Werther—and they would be presented early in the morning on New Year's Day. This really touched him. He gave each of the children a present, got on his horse, left his regards for Mom and Dad, and rode away from the place with tears in his eyes.

He returned home about five o'clock, ordered his servant to keep up his fire, desired him to pack his books and linen at the bottom of the trunk, and to place his coats at the top. He then appears to have made the following addition to the letter addressed to Charlotte:

He got home around five o'clock, told his servant to stoke the fire, asked him to pack his books and clothes at the bottom of the trunk, and to put his coats on top. He then seems to have added the following to the letter addressed to Charlotte:

"You do not expect me. You think I will obey you, and not visit you again till Christmas Eve. O Charlotte, today or never! On Christmas Eve you will hold this paper in your hand; you will tremble, and moisten it with your tears. I will—I must! Oh, how happy I feel to be determined!"

"You don’t expect me. You think I’ll follow your orders and not see you again until Christmas Eve. Oh Charlotte, it’s now or never! On Christmas Eve, you’ll have this paper in your hand; you’ll shake and wet it with your tears. I will—I have to! Oh, I’m so happy to be resolute!"

In the meantime, Charlotte was in a pitiable state of mind. After her last conversation with Werther, she found how painful to herself it would be to decline his visits, and knew how severely he would suffer from their separation.

In the meantime, Charlotte was in a miserable state of mind. After her last conversation with Werther, she realized how painful it would be for her to refuse his visits, and she understood how deeply he would hurt from their separation.

She had, in conversation with Albert, mentioned casually that Werther would not return before Christmas Eve; and soon afterward Albert went on horseback to see a person in the neighbourhood, with whom he had to transact some business which would detain him all night.

She had casually mentioned in a conversation with Albert that Werther wouldn't be back until Christmas Eve; soon after, Albert set off on horseback to see someone in the area, where he had some business to take care of that would keep him occupied all night.

Charlotte was sitting alone. None of her family were near, and she gave herself up to the reflections that silently took possession of her mind. She was for ever united to a husband whose love and fidelity she had proved, to whom she was heartily devoted, and who seemed to be a special gift from Heaven to ensure her happiness. On the other hand, Werther had become dear to her. There was a cordial unanimity of sentiment between them from the very first hour of their acquaintance, and their long association and repeated interviews had made an indelible impression upon her heart. She had been accustomed to communicate to him every thought and feeling which interested her, and his absence threatened to open a void in her existence which it might be impossible to fill. How heartily she wished that she might change him into her brother,—that she could induce him to marry one of her own friends, or could reestablish his intimacy with Albert.

Charlotte was sitting alone. None of her family were close by, and she lost herself in the thoughts that quietly occupied her mind. She felt forever connected to a husband whose love and loyalty she had tested, to whom she was genuinely devoted, and who seemed to be a special gift from Heaven to ensure her happiness. On the other hand, Werther had become dear to her. There was a warm agreement of feelings between them from the very first moment they met, and their long friendship and repeated meetings had left a lasting mark on her heart. She had grown used to sharing every thought and feeling that mattered to her with him, and his absence threatened to create a gap in her life that might be impossible to fill. How much she wished she could turn him into her brother—if only she could convince him to marry one of her friends or revive his friendship with Albert.

She passed all her intimate friends in review before her mind, but found something objectionable in each, and could decide upon none to whom she would consent to give him.

She thought about all her close friends, but found something off about each one and couldn't choose anyone she would feel comfortable giving him to.

Amid all these considerations she felt deeply but indistinctly that her own real but unexpressed wish was to retain him for herself, and her pure and amiable heart felt from this thought a sense of oppression which seemed to forbid a prospect of happiness. She was wretched: a dark cloud obscured her mental vision.

Amid all these thoughts, she felt strongly yet vaguely that her true, unspoken desire was to keep him for herself, and her kind and loving heart sensed an heaviness from this idea that seemed to block any chance of happiness. She felt miserable: a dark cloud hung over her mind.

It was now half-past six o'clock, and she heard Werther's step on the stairs. She at once recognised his voice, as he inquired if she were at home. Her heart beat audibly—we could almost say for the first time—at his arrival. It was too late to deny herself; and, as he entered, she exclaimed, with a sort of ill concealed confusion, "You have not kept your word!" "I promised nothing," he answered. "But you should have complied, at least for my sake," she continued. "I implore you, for both our sakes."

It was now half-past six, and she heard Werther's footsteps on the stairs. She immediately recognized his voice as he asked if she was home. Her heart pounded noticeably—we could almost say for the first time—at his arrival. It was too late to hold back; and as he walked in, she exclaimed, with a hint of awkwardness, "You didn't keep your promise!" "I promised nothing," he replied. "But you should have done it, at least for me," she said. "I beg you, for both our sakes."

She scarcely knew what she said or did; and sent for some friends, who, by their presence, might prevent her being left alone with Werther. He put down some books he had brought with him, then made inquiries about some others, until she began to hope that her friends might arrive shortly, entertaining at the same time a desire that they might stay away.

She hardly knew what she said or did; and called for some friends who could keep her from being alone with Werther. He put down some books he had brought with him, then asked about some others, until she started to hope that her friends would arrive soon, while also secretly wishing they would stay away.

At one moment she felt anxious that the servant should remain in the adjoining room, then she changed her mind. Werther, meanwhile, walked impatiently up and down. She went to the piano, and determined not to retire. She then collected her thoughts, and sat down quietly at Werther's side, who had taken his usual place on the sofa.

At one point, she felt worried about the servant staying in the next room, but then she changed her mind. Meanwhile, Werther paced back and forth, restless. She went to the piano, deciding not to leave. After gathering her thoughts, she quietly sat down next to Werther, who had taken his usual spot on the sofa.

"Have you brought nothing to read?" she inquired. He had nothing. "There in my drawer," she continued, "you will find your own translation of some of the songs of Ossian. I have not yet read them, as I have still hoped to hear you recite them; but, for some time past, I have not been able to accomplish such a wish." He smiled, and went for the manuscript, which he took with a shudder. He sat down; and, with eyes full of tears, he began to read.

"Did you bring anything to read?" she asked. He had nothing. "You'll find your own translation of some of Ossian's songs in my drawer," she said. "I haven't read them yet because I've been hoping to hear you recite them, but I haven't been able to make that happen for a while now." He smiled and went to get the manuscript, which he picked up with a shudder. He sat down and, with tears in his eyes, started to read.

"Star of descending night! fair is thy light in the west! thou liftest thy unshorn head from thy cloud; thy steps are stately on thy hill. What dost thou behold in the plain? The stormy winds are laid. The murmur of the torrent comes from afar. Roaring waves climb the distant rock. The flies of evening are on their feeble wings: the hum of their course is on the field. What dost thou behold, fair light? But thou dost smile and depart. The waves come with joy around thee: they bathe thy lovely hair. Farewell, thou silent beam! Let the light of Ossian's soul arise!

"Star of the setting night! Your light in the west is beautiful! You lift your uncut head from the clouds; your steps are graceful on the hill. What do you see in the valley? The stormy winds have calmed down. The sound of the rushing water comes from far away. Roaring waves crash against the distant rocks. The evening insects are weakly flying: you can hear their buzz in the field. What do you see, beautiful light? But you smile and fade away. The waves joyfully surround you: they wash your lovely hair. Goodbye, you quiet ray! Let the light of Ossian’s soul rise!"

"And it does arise in its strength! I behold my departed friends. Their gathering is on Lora, as in the days of other years. Fingal comes like a watery column of mist! his heroes are around: and see the bards of song, gray-haired Ullin! stately Ryno! Alpin with the tuneful voice: the soft complaint of Minona! How are ye changed, my friends, since the days of Selma's feast! when we contended, like gales of spring as they fly along the hill, and bend by turns the feebly whistling grass.

"And it really does come back strong! I see my friends who have passed. They’re gathered on Lora, just like in the old days. Fingal appears like a misty water column! His heroes are around him: and look at the bards of song, gray-haired Ullin! Dignified Ryno! Alpin with the beautiful voice: the gentle lament of Minona! How much you’ve changed, my friends, since the days of Selma's feast! When we competed, like spring breezes rushing across the hill, bending the softly whistling grass in turn."

"Minona came forth in her beauty, with downcast look and tearful eye. Her hair was flying slowly with the blast that rushed unfrequent from the hill. The souls of the heroes were sad when she raised the tuneful voice. Oft had they seen the grave of Salgar, the dark dwelling of white-bosomed Colma. Colma left alone on the hill with all her voice of song! Salgar promised to come! but the night descended around. Hear the voice of Colma, when she sat alone on the hill!

Minona stepped forward in her beauty, with a downcast gaze and tear-filled eyes. Her hair waved gently in the wind that occasionally swept down from the hill. The spirits of the heroes were sorrowful when she began to sing. They had often seen the grave of Salgar, the gloomy home of the fair Colma. Colma was left all alone on the hill with nothing but her singing voice! Salgar had promised to return! but darkness fell all around. Listen to Colma's voice as she sat alone on the hill!

"Colma. It is night: I am alone, forlorn on the hill of storms. The wind is heard on the mountain. The torrent is howling down the rock. No hut receives me from the rain: forlorn on the hill of winds!

"Colma. It’s night: I’m alone, abandoned on the stormy hill. The wind is howling on the mountain. The torrent is crashing down the rock. No shelter protects me from the rain: abandoned on the hill of winds!"

"Rise moon! from behind thy clouds. Stars of the night, arise! Lead me, some light, to the place where my love rests from the chase alone! His bow near him unstrung, his dogs panting around him! But here I must sit alone by the rock of the mossy stream. The stream and the wind roar aloud. I hear not the voice of my love! Why delays my Salgar; why the chief of the hill his promise? Here is the rock and here the tree! here is the roaring stream! Thou didst promise with night to be here. Ah! whither is my Salgar gone? With thee I would fly from my father, with thee from my brother of pride. Our race have long been foes: we are not foes, O Salgar!

"Rise, moon! Come out from behind the clouds. Stars of the night, shine bright! Show me some light to the place where my love rests, tired from the hunt alone! His bow is laid down beside him, and his dogs are panting around him! But here I must sit alone by the mossy stream rock. The stream and the wind roar loudly. I can't hear the voice of my love! Why is my Salgar delayed? Why hasn't the chief of the hill kept his promise? Here is the rock and here is the tree! Here is the roaring stream! You promised to be here by night. Ah! Where has my Salgar gone? With you, I would escape from my father, and with you, from my proud brother. Our families have been enemies for too long: we are not enemies, O Salgar!"

"Cease a little while, O wind! stream, be thou silent awhile! let my voice be heard around! let my wanderer hear me! Salgar! it is Colma who calls. Here is the tree and the rock. Salgar, my love, I am here! Why delayest thou thy coming? Lo! the calm moon comes forth. The flood is bright in the vale. The rocks are gray on the steep. I see him not on the brow. His dogs come not before him with tidings of his near approach. Here I must sit alone!

"Be quiet for a moment, O wind! Stream, be silent for a bit! Let my voice be heard all around! Let my wanderer hear me! Salgar! It's Colma calling. Here is the tree and the rock. Salgar, my love, I'm here! Why are you taking so long to come? Look! The calm moon is rising. The water sparkles in the valley. The rocks are gray on the slope. I don't see him on the hill. His dogs aren't coming before him with news of his arrival. Here I must sit alone!"

"Who lie on the heath beside me? Are they my love and my brother? Speak to me, O my friends! To Colma they give no reply. Speak to me: I am alone! My soul is tormented with fears. Ah, they are dead! Their swords are red from the fight. O my brother! my brother! why hast thou slain my Salgar! Why, O Salgar, hast thou slain my brother! Dear were ye both to me! what shall I say in your praise? Thou wert fair on the hill among thousands! he was terrible in fight! Speak to me! hear my voice! hear me, sons of my love! They are silent! silent for ever! Cold, cold, are their breasts of clay! Oh, from the rock on the hill, from the top of the windy steep, speak, ye ghosts of the dead! Speak, I will not be afraid! Whither are ye gone to rest? In what cave of the hill shall I find the departed? No feeble voice is on the gale: no answer half drowned in the storm!

"Who lies on the heath next to me? Are they my love and my brother? Speak to me, oh my friends! They answer nothing to Colma. Speak to me: I am alone! My soul is tormented with fears. Ah, they are dead! Their swords are stained red from the fight. Oh, my brother! my brother! why have you killed my Salgar! Why, oh Salgar, have you killed my brother! You were both dear to me! What can I say in your honor? You were beautiful on the hill among thousands! He was fierce in battle! Speak to me! hear my voice! hear me, sons of my love! They are silent! silent forever! Cold, cold, are their clay-like bodies! Oh, from the rock on the hill, from the top of the windy slope, speak, you ghosts of the dead! Speak, I won’t be afraid! Where have you gone to rest? In what cave of the hill will I find the departed? No weak voice rides on the wind: no answer is drowned out by the storm!"

"I sit in my grief: I wait for morning in my tears! Rear the tomb, ye friends of the dead. Close it not till Colma come. My life flies away like a dream. Why should I stay behind? Here shall I rest with my friends, by the stream of the sounding rock. When night comes on the hill when the loud winds arise my ghost shall stand in the blast, and mourn the death of my friends. The hunter shall hear from his booth; he shall fear, but love my voice! For sweet shall my voice be for my friends: pleasant were her friends to Colma.

I sit in my sorrow: I wait for morning through my tears! Build the tomb, you friends of the deceased. Don't close it until Colma arrives. My life slips away like a dream. Why should I linger behind? Here I will rest with my friends, by the stream of the echoing rock. When night falls on the hill and the strong winds blow, my spirit will stand in the gust and mourn for my friends. The hunter will hear it from his spot; he will be afraid, but he will cherish my voice! For my voice will be sweet for my friends: pleasant were her friends to Colma.

"Such was thy song, Minona, softly blushing daughter of Torman. Our tears descended for Colma, and our souls were sad! Ullin came with his harp; he gave the song of Alpin. The voice of Alpin was pleasant, the soul of Ryno was a beam of fire! But they had rested in the narrow house: their voice had ceased in Selma! Ullin had returned one day from the chase before the heroes fell. He heard their strife on the hill: their song was soft, but sad! They mourned the fall of Morar, first of mortal men! His soul was like the soul of Fingal: his sword like the sword of Oscar. But he fell, and his father mourned: his sister's eyes were full of tears. Minona's eyes were full of tears, the sister of car-borne Morar. She retired from the song of Ullin, like the moon in the west, when she foresees the shower, and hides her fair head in a cloud. I touched the harp with Ullin: the song of morning rose!

"Such was your song, Minona, softly blushing daughter of Torman. We shed tears for Colma, and our souls were heavy! Ullin came with his harp; he played the song of Alpin. Alpin's voice was pleasant, and Ryno's spirit was like a spark of fire! But they had rested in the narrow house: their voices had faded in Selma! Ullin had returned one day from the hunt before the heroes fell. He heard their struggle on the hill: their song was soft but sorrowful! They mourned the fall of Morar, the greatest of men! His spirit was like Fingal's soul; his sword was like Oscar's sword. But he fell, and his father grieved: his sister's eyes were filled with tears. Minona's eyes were full of tears, the sister of car-borne Morar. She withdrew from Ullin's song, like the moon in the west when it senses the rain and hides its beautiful head in a cloud. I touched the harp with Ullin: the song of morning rose!

"Ryno. The wind and the rain are past, calm is the noon of day. The clouds are divided in heaven. Over the green hills flies the inconstant sun. Red through the stony vale comes down the stream of the hill. Sweet are thy murmurs, O stream! but more sweet is the voice I hear. It is the voice of Alpin, the son of song, mourning for the dead! Bent is his head of age: red his tearful eye. Alpin, thou son of song, why alone on the silent hill? why complainest thou, as a blast in the wood as a wave on the lonely shore?

"Ryno. The wind and rain have passed, and it's a calm midday. The clouds are breaking apart in the sky. The fickle sun shines over the green hills. The stream flows down the rocky valley in a red hue. Sweet are your murmurs, O stream! but even sweeter is the voice I hear. It’s Alpin, the son of song, mourning for the dead! His aged head is bowed; his eyes are red with tears. Alpin, son of song, why are you alone on the quiet hill? Why do you mourn, like a gust in the woods or a wave on the desolate shore?"

"Alpin. My tears, O Ryno! are for the dead my voice for those that have passed away. Tall thou art on the hill; fair among the sons of the vale. But thou shalt fall like Morar: the mourner shall sit on thy tomb. The hills shall know thee no more: thy bow shall lie in thy hall unstrung!

"Alpin. My tears, O Ryno! are for the dead, my voice for those who have passed away. You stand tall on the hill, beautiful among the sons of the valley. But you will fall like Morar: the mourner will sit on your grave. The hills will no longer know you: your bow will lie in your hall unstrung!"

"Thou wert swift, O Morar! as a roe on the desert: terrible as a meteor of fire. Thy wrath was as the storm. Thy sword in battle as lightning in the field. Thy voice was as a stream after rain, like thunder on distant hills. Many fell by thy arm: they were consumed in the flames of thy wrath. But when thou didst return from war, how peaceful was thy brow. Thy face was like the sun after rain: like the moon in the silence of night: calm as the breast of the lake when the loud wind is laid.

You were swift, O Morar! like a deer in the desert: fierce as a fire meteor. Your anger was like a storm. Your sword in battle was like lightning on the field. Your voice was like a stream after rain, like thunder on distant hills. Many fell by your hand: they were consumed by the flames of your anger. But when you returned from war, how peaceful was your brow. Your face was like the sun after rain: like the moon in the quiet of night: calm as the surface of the lake when the strong wind has died down.

"Narrow is thy dwelling now! dark the place of thine abode! With three steps I compass thy grave, O thou who wast so great before! Four stones, with their heads of moss, are the only memorial of thee. A tree with scarce a leaf, long grass which whistles in the wind, mark to the hunter's eye the grave of the mighty Morar. Morar! thou art low indeed. Thou hast no mother to mourn thee, no maid with her tears of love. Dead is she that brought thee forth. Fallen is the daughter of Morglan.

"Narrow is your dwelling now! Dark is the place where you reside! With three steps, I walk around your grave, O you who were once so great! Four stones, covered in moss, are your only memorial. A tree with hardly any leaves and tall grass that rustles in the wind mark the grave of the mighty Morar for the hunter's eye. Morar! you are truly low. You have no mother to mourn you, no maiden shedding tears of love. The one who bore you is dead. Fallen is the daughter of Morglan."

"Who on his staff is this? Who is this whose head is white with age, whose eyes are red with tears, who quakes at every step? It is thy father, O Morar! the father of no son but thee. He heard of thy fame in war, he heard of foes dispersed. He heard of Morar's renown, why did he not hear of his wound? Weep, thou father of Morar! Weep, but thy son heareth thee not. Deep is the sleep of the dead, low their pillow of dust. No more shall he hear thy voice, no more awake at thy call. When shall it be morn in the grave, to bid the slumberer awake? Farewell, thou bravest of men! thou conqueror in the field! but the field shall see thee no more, nor the dark wood be lightened with the splendour of thy steel. Thou has left no son. The song shall preserve thy name. Future times shall hear of thee they shall hear of the fallen Morar!

"Who is this on his staff? Who is this with white hair and red eyes from tears, who trembles with each step? It is your father, O Morar! the father of no son but you. He heard of your glory in battle, he heard of enemies scattered. He heard of Morar's fame, so why did he not hear of your wound? Weep, father of Morar! Weep, but your son cannot hear you. The sleep of the dead is deep, their bed is made of dust. He will not hear your voice again, nor will he wake at your call. When will it be morning in the grave, to wake the sleeper? Farewell, bravest of men! conqueror on the battlefield! but the battlefield will see you no more, nor will the dark woods shine with the brilliance of your sword. You have left no son. Your name will be preserved in song. Future generations will hear of you; they will hear of the fallen Morar!

"The grief of all arose, but most the bursting sigh of Armin. He remembers the death of his son, who fell in the days of his youth. Carmor was near the hero, the chief of the echoing Galmal. Why burst the sigh of Armin? he said. Is there a cause to mourn? The song comes with its music to melt and please the soul. It is like soft mist that, rising from a lake, pours on the silent vale; the green flowers are filled with dew, but the sun returns in his strength, and the mist is gone. Why art thou sad, O Armin, chief of sea-surrounded Gorma?

The sorrow of everyone surfaced, but most of all, Armin let out a deep sigh. He recalls the loss of his son, who died in his youth. Carmor was close to the hero, the leader of the resonant Galmal. Why did Armin sigh so deeply? he asked. Is there a reason to grieve? The song comes with its melody to soothe and uplift the spirit. It's like a gentle mist rising from a lake, settling over the quiet valley; the green flowers are glistening with dew, but the sun shines bright again, and the mist disappears. Why are you downcast, O Armin, leader of the sea-encircled Gorma?

"Sad I am! nor small is my cause of woe! Carmor, thou hast lost no son; thou hast lost no daughter of beauty. Colgar the valiant lives, and Annira, fairest maid. The boughs of thy house ascend, O Carmor! but Armin is the last of his race. Dark is thy bed, O Daura! deep thy sleep in the tomb! When shalt thou wake with thy songs? with all thy voice of music?

"How sad I am! My reason for grief is not small! Carmor, you have lost no son; you have lost no beautiful daughter. Colgar the brave lives on, and Annira, the fairest maiden. The branches of your family grow, O Carmor! but Armin is the last of his kind. Dark is your resting place, O Daura! Deep is your sleep in the grave! When will you awake with your songs? With all your musical voice?"

"Arise, winds of autumn, arise: blow along the heath. Streams of the mountains, roar; roar, tempests in the groves of my oaks! Walk through broken clouds, O moon! show thy pale face at intervals; bring to my mind the night when all my children fell, when Arindal the mighty fell—when Daura the lovely failed. Daura, my daughter, thou wert fair, fair as the moon on Fura, white as the driven snow, sweet as the breathing gale. Arindal, thy bow was strong, thy spear was swift on the field, thy look was like mist on the wave, thy shield a red cloud in a storm! Armar, renowned in war, came and sought Daura's love. He was not long refused: fair was the hope of their friends.

"Awake, autumn winds, awake: blow across the heath. Mountain streams, roar; roar, storms in the groves of my oaks! Walk through the broken clouds, O moon! show your pale face from time to time; remind me of the night when all my children fell, when the mighty Arindal fell—when lovely Daura failed. Daura, my daughter, you were beautiful, beautiful as the moon on Fura, white as fresh snow, sweet as the gentle breeze. Arindal, your bow was strong, your spear swift on the battlefield, your gaze like mist on the waves, your shield a red cloud in a storm! Armar, famous in battle, came and sought Daura's love. He was not long denied: bright was the hope of their friends."

"Erath, son of Odgal, repined: his brother had been slain by Armar. He came disguised like a son of the sea: fair was his cliff on the wave, white his locks of age, calm his serious brow. Fairest of women, he said, lovely daughter of Armin! a rock not distant in the sea bears a tree on its side; red shines the fruit afar. There Armar waits for Daura. I come to carry his love! she went she called on Armar. Nought answered, but the son of the rock. Armar, my love, my love! why tormentest thou me with fear? Hear, son of Arnart, hear! it is Daura who calleth thee. Erath, the traitor, fled laughing to the land. She lifted up her voice—she called for her brother and her father. Arindal! Armin! none to relieve you, Daura.

Erath, son of Odgal, was distressed: his brother had been killed by Armar. He came disguised like a son of the sea: his cliff was beautiful on the waves, his hair was white with age, and his serious brow was calm. "Fairest of women," he said, "lovely daughter of Armin! A rock not far from the sea has a tree growing on its side; the fruit shines red from afar. There Armar waits for Daura. I come to carry his love!" She went and called for Armar. There was no reply, only the voice of the rock. "Armar, my love, my love! Why do you torment me with fear? Hear me, son of Arnart, hear! It is Daura who calls you." Erath, the traitor, laughed and fled to the land. She raised her voice—she called for her brother and her father. "Arindal! Armin! There’s no one to help you, Daura."

"Her voice came over the sea. Arindal, my son, descended from the hill, rough in the spoils of the chase. His arrows rattled by his side; his bow was in his hand, five dark-gray dogs attended his steps. He saw fierce Erath on the shore; he seized and bound him to an oak. Thick wind the thongs of the hide around his limbs; he loads the winds with his groans. Arindal ascends the deep in his boat to bring Daura to land. Armar came in his wrath, and let fly the gray-feathered shaft. It sung, it sunk in thy heart, O Arindal, my son! for Erath the traitor thou diest. The oar is stopped at once: he panted on the rock, and expired. What is thy grief, O Daura, when round thy feet is poured thy brother's blood. The boat is broken in twain. Armar plunges into the sea to rescue his Daura, or die. Sudden a blast from a hill came over the waves; he sank, and he rose no more.

"Her voice echoed over the sea. Arindal, my son, came down from the hill, rugged from the hunt. His arrows clanked at his side; his bow was in his hand, and five dark-gray dogs followed him. He spotted fierce Erath on the shore; he captured him and tied him to an oak. Thick ropes of hide wrapped around his limbs as he filled the winds with his groans. Arindal climbed into his boat to bring Daura to shore. Armar arrived in his fury and shot the gray-feathered arrow. It sang through the air and pierced your heart, O Arindal, my son! For the traitor Erath, you perish. The oar stopped suddenly: he gasped on the rock and died. What is your sorrow, O Daura, when your brother's blood flows around your feet? The boat shattered in two. Armar jumped into the sea to save his Daura, or to die trying. Suddenly, a gust from a hill swept over the waves; he sank and was lost forever."

"Alone, on the sea-beat rock, my daughter was heard to complain; frequent and loud were her cries. What could her father do? All night I stood on the shore: I saw her by the faint beam of the moon. All night I heard her cries. Loud was the wind; the rain beat hard on the hill. Before morning appeared, her voice was weak; it died away like the evening breeze among the grass of the rocks. Spent with grief, she expired, and left thee, Armin, alone. Gone is my strength in war, fallen my pride among women. When the storms aloft arise, when the north lifts the wave on high, I sit by the sounding shore, and look on the fatal rock.

"Alone, on the wind-swept rock, my daughter was heard crying; her cries were frequent and loud. What could I, her father, do? All night I stood on the shore: I saw her in the faint glow of the moon. All night I heard her cries. The wind was strong; the rain pounded heavily on the hill. Before morning came, her voice grew weak; it faded away like a gentle evening breeze among the grass on the rocks. Overwhelmed with grief, she gave up and left you, Armin, alone. My strength in battle is gone, and my pride among women has fallen. When the storms rise high, when the north wind lifts the waves, I sit by the crashing shore and gaze at the deadly rock."

"Often by the setting moon I see the ghosts of my children; half viewless they walk in mournful conference together."

"Often by the setting moon, I see the shadows of my children; barely visible, they walk together in a sad discussion."

A torrent of tears which streamed from Charlotte's eyes and gave relief to her bursting heart, stopped Werther's recitation. He threw down the book, seized her hand, and wept bitterly. Charlotte leaned upon her hand, and buried her face in her handkerchief: the agitation of both was excessive. They felt that their own fate was pictured in the misfortunes of Ossian's heroes, they felt this together, and their tears redoubled. Werther supported his forehead on Charlotte's arm: she trembled, she wished to be gone; but sorrow and sympathy lay like a leaden weight upon her soul. She recovered herself shortly, and begged Werther, with broken sobs, to leave her, implored him with the utmost earnestness to comply with her request. He trembled; his heart was ready to burst: then, taking up the book again, he recommenced reading, in a voice broken by sobs.

A flood of tears streamed from Charlotte's eyes, relieving her overwhelmed heart and interrupting Werther's reading. He tossed aside the book, grabbed her hand, and cried bitterly. Charlotte leaned on her hand, burying her face in her handkerchief; both of them were deeply shaken. They realized that their own fate mirrored the tragedies of Ossian's heroes, and they understood this together, their tears flowing even more. Werther rested his forehead on Charlotte's arm; she shook with emotion, wanting to escape, but sorrow and empathy weighed heavily on her soul. After a moment, she collected herself and, through broken sobs, pleaded with Werther to leave her, urging him earnestly to respect her wish. He trembled, feeling as if his heart would burst, and then, picking up the book again, he began reading with a voice choked by tears.

"Why dost thou waken me, O spring? Thy voice woos me, exclaiming, I refresh thee with heavenly dews; but the time of my decay is approaching, the storm is nigh that shall whither my leaves. Tomorrow the traveller shall come, he shall come, who beheld me in beauty: his eye shall seek me in the field around, but he shall not find me."

"Why are you waking me, O spring? Your voice calls to me, saying, I refresh you with heavenly dews; but the time of my decline is near, the storm is coming that will wither my leaves. Tomorrow the traveler will come, he will come, who saw me in my beauty: his eyes will search for me in the surrounding field, but he will not find me."

The whole force of these words fell upon the unfortunate Werther. Full of despair, he threw himself at Charlotte's feet, seized her hands, and pressed them to his eyes and to his forehead. An apprehension of his fatal project now struck her for the first time. Her senses were bewildered: she held his hands, pressed them to her bosom; and, leaning toward him with emotions of the tenderest pity, her warm cheek touched his. They lost sight of everything. The world disappeared from their eyes. He clasped her in his arms, strained her to his bosom, and covered her trembling lips with passionate kisses. "Werther!" she cried with a faint voice, turning herself away; "Werther!" and, with a feeble hand, she pushed him from her. At length, with the firm voice of virtue, she exclaimed, "Werther!" He resisted not, but, tearing himself from her arms, fell on his knees before her. Charlotte rose, and, with disordered grief, in mingled tones of love and resentment, she exclaimed, "It is the last time, Werther! You shall never see me any more!" Then, casting one last, tender look upon her unfortunate lover, she rushed into the adjoining room, and locked the door. Werther held out his arms, but did not dare to detain her. He continued on the ground, with his head resting on the sofa, for half an hour, till he heard a noise which brought him to his senses. The servant entered. He then walked up and down the room; and, when he was again left alone, he went to Charlotte's door, and, in a low voice, said, "Charlotte, Charlotte! but one word more, one last adieu!" She returned no answer. He stopped, and listened and entreated; but all was silent. At length he tore himself from the place, crying, "Adieu, Charlotte, adieu for ever!"

The full impact of those words hit the unfortunate Werther. Overwhelmed with despair, he fell at Charlotte's feet, took her hands, and pressed them to his eyes and forehead. For the first time, a realization of his dangerous intentions struck her. She was confused; she held his hands and pressed them to her chest, leaning toward him with deep pity as her warm cheek brushed against his. They became oblivious to everything around them. He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close, and showered her trembling lips with passionate kisses. "Werther!" she exclaimed weakly, turning away from him; "Werther!" and with a gentle push, she tried to distance herself from him. Finally, with a firm voice, she declared, "Werther!" He didn’t resist but, tearing himself away from her, collapsed to his knees in front of her. Charlotte stood up, her grief tangled with love and anger, and cried out, "This is the last time, Werther! You'll never see me again!" Then, casting one last tender look at her unfortunate lover, she dashed into the next room and locked the door. Werther reached out for her but didn’t dare stop her. He remained on the floor, head resting on the sofa for half an hour, until a noise brought him back to reality. The servant entered. He then paced the room; when left alone again, he went to Charlotte's door and, in a low voice, called out, "Charlotte, Charlotte! Just one more word, one last goodbye!" She didn’t respond. He paused, listened, and pleaded, but everything was silent. Finally, he tore himself away, crying, "Goodbye, Charlotte, goodbye forever!"

Werther ran to the gate of the town. The guards, who knew him, let him pass in silence. The night was dark and stormy,—it rained and snowed. He reached his own door about eleven. His servant, although seeing him enter the house without his hat, did not venture to say anything; and; as he undressed his master, he found that his clothes were wet. His hat was afterward found on the point of a rock overhanging the valley; and it is inconceivable how he could have climbed to the summit on such a dark, tempestuous night without losing his life.

Werther ran to the town gate. The guards, who recognized him, let him pass silently. The night was dark and stormy—it was raining and snowing. He got to his door around eleven. His servant, seeing him come in without his hat, didn’t say anything; and as he helped his master undress, he noticed that his clothes were wet. His hat was later found on the edge of a rock overlooking the valley, and it's hard to believe how he could have climbed to the top on such a dark, stormy night without risking his life.

He retired to bed, and slept to a late hour. The next morning his servant, upon being called to bring his coffee, found him writing. He was adding, to Charlotte, what we here annex.

He went to bed and slept in late. The next morning, when his servant was called to bring him coffee, he found him writing. He was adding to Charlotte what we have included here.

"For the last, last time I open these eyes. Alas! they will behold the sun no more. It is covered by a thick, impenetrable cloud. Yes, Nature! put on mourning: your child, your friend, your lover, draws near his end! This thought, Charlotte, is without parallel; and yet it seems like a mysterious dream when I repeat—this is my last day! The last! Charlotte, no word can adequately express this thought. The last! To-day I stand erect in all my strength to-morrow, cold and stark, I shall lie extended upon the ground. To die! what is death? We do but dream in our discourse upon it. I have seen many human beings die; but, so straitened is our feeble nature, we have no clear conception of the beginning or the end of our existence. At this moment I am my own—or rather I am thine, thine, my adored! and the next we are parted, severed—perhaps for ever! No, Charlotte, no! How can I, how can you, be annihilated? We exist. What is annihilation? A mere word, an unmeaning sound that fixes no impression on the mind. Dead, Charlotte! laid in the cold earth, in the dark and narrow grave! I had a friend once who was everything to me in early youth. She died. I followed her hearse; I stood by her grave when the coffin was lowered; and when I heard the creaking of the cords as they were loosened and drawn up, when the first shovelful of earth was thrown in, and the coffin returned a hollow sound, which grew fainter and fainter till all was completely covered over, I threw myself on the ground; my heart was smitten, grieved, shattered, rent—but I neither knew what had happened, nor what was to happen to me. Death! the grave! I understand not the words.—Forgive, oh, forgive me! Yesterday—ah, that day should have been the last of my life! Thou angel! for the first time in my existence, I felt rapture glow within my inmost soul. She loves, she loves me! Still burns upon my lips the sacred fire they received from thine. New torrents of delight overwhelm my soul. Forgive me, oh, forgive!

For the very last time, I open these eyes. Alas! I will see the sun no more. It’s hidden behind a thick, impenetrable cloud. Yes, Nature! Wear black for mourning: your child, your friend, your lover, is nearing his end! This thought, Charlotte, is unparalleled; yet it feels like a strange dream when I repeat—this is my last day! The last! Charlotte, no word can truly capture this thought. The last! Today I stand tall and strong, but tomorrow, cold and lifeless, I will lie stretched out on the ground. To die! What is death? We only wonder about it when we talk about it. I’ve watched many people die; but, constrained by our fragile nature, we can’t fully grasp the beginning or end of our existence. Right now, I am my own—or rather, I am yours, yours, my beloved! And in the next moment, we are separated, cut off—maybe forever! No, Charlotte, no! How can I, how can you, be wiped out? We exist. What is annihilation? Just a word, a meaningless sound that leaves no impression on the mind. Dead, Charlotte! Buried in the cold earth, in the dark and narrow grave! I had a friend once who meant everything to me in my youth. She died. I followed her hearse; I stood by her grave when the coffin was lowered; and when I heard the creaking of the ropes as they were loosened and pulled up, when the first shovelful of dirt was thrown in, and the coffin gave a hollow sound that grew fainter and fainter until it was completely covered, I fell to the ground; my heart was broken, aching, shattered—but I neither understood what had happened, nor what was to happen to me. Death! The grave! I don’t comprehend those words.—Forgive me, oh, forgive me! Yesterday—oh, that day should have been the end of my life! You angel! For the first time in my life, I felt joy fill my innermost soul. She loves me, she loves me! The sacred fire from your lips still burns on mine. New waves of joy flood my soul. Forgive me, oh, forgive!

"I knew that I was dear to you; I saw it in your first entrancing look, knew it by the first pressure of your hand; but when I was absent from you, when I saw Albert at your side, my doubts and fears returned.

"I knew I was important to you; I saw it in your first captivating look and felt it with the first squeeze of your hand. But when I was away from you and saw Albert by your side, my doubts and fears came back."

"Do you remember the flowers you sent me, when, at that crowded assembly, you could neither speak nor extend your hand to me? Half the night I was on my knees before those flowers, and I regarded them as the pledges of your love; but those impressions grew fainter, and were at length effaced.

"Do you remember the flowers you sent me when, at that crowded gathering, you couldn’t speak or reach out to me? I spent half the night on my knees in front of those flowers, thinking they were symbols of your love; but those feelings faded over time and eventually disappeared."

"Everything passes away; but a whole eternity could not extinguish the living flame which was yesterday kindled by your lips, and which now burns within me. She loves me! These arms have encircled her waist, these lips have trembled upon hers. She is mine! Yes, Charlotte, you are mine for ever!

"Everything fades away; but not even an eternity could put out the living flame that was ignited by your lips yesterday and now burns within me. She loves me! These arms have wrapped around her waist, and these lips have brushed against hers. She is mine! Yes, Charlotte, you are mine forever!

"And what do they mean by saying Albert is your husband? He may be so for this world; and in this world it is a sin to love you, to wish to tear you from his embrace. Yes, it is a crime; and I suffer the punishment, but I have enjoyed the full delight of my sin. I have inhaled a balm that has revived my soul. From this hour you are mine; yes, Charlotte, you are mine! I go before you. I go to my Father and to your Father. I will pour out my sorrows before him, and he will give me comfort till you arrive. Then will I fly to meet you. I will claim you, and remain your eternal embrace, in the presence of the Almighty.

"And what do they mean when they say Albert is your husband? He might be that in this life, and in this life, it’s a sin to love you, to want to take you from his arms. Yes, it’s a crime, and I’m paying the price for it, but I’ve experienced the full joy of my sin. I’ve breathed in a sweet relief that has revived my spirit. From this moment on, you are mine; yes, Charlotte, you are mine! I go ahead of you. I’m going to my Father and your Father. I will pour out my sorrows to Him, and He will give me comfort until you arrive. Then I will rush to meet you. I will claim you and stay in your eternal embrace, in the presence of the Almighty."

"I do not dream, I do not rave. Drawing nearer to the grave my perceptions become clearer. We shall exist; we shall see each other again; we shall behold your mother; I shall behold her, and expose to her my inmost heart. Your mother—your image!"

"I don’t dream, I don’t lose my mind. As I get closer to the grave, my understanding becomes clearer. We will exist; we will see each other again; we will see your mother; I will see her and reveal my deepest feelings to her. Your mother—your image!"

About eleven o'clock Werther asked his servant if Albert had returned. He answered, "Yes;" for he had seen him pass on horseback: upon which Werther sent him the following note, unsealed:

About eleven o'clock, Werther asked his servant if Albert had come back. The servant replied, "Yes," since he had seen him ride by on horseback. Werther then sent him the following unsealed note:

"Be so good as to lend me your pistols for a journey. Adieu."

"Please lend me your pistols for a trip. Goodbye."

Charlotte had slept little during the past night. All her apprehensions were realised in a way that she could neither foresee nor avoid. Her blood was boiling in her veins, and a thousand painful sensations rent her pure heart. Was it the ardour of Werther's passionate embraces that she felt within her bosom? Was it anger at his daring? Was it the sad comparison of her present condition with former days of innocence, tranquillity, and self-confidence? How could she approach her husband, and confess a scene which she had no reason to conceal, and which she yet felt, nevertheless, unwilling to avow? They had preserved so long a silence toward each other and should she be the first to break it by so unexpected a discovery? She feared that the mere statement of Werther's visit would trouble him, and his distress would be heightened by her perfect candour. She wished that he could see her in her true light, and judge her without prejudice; but was she anxious that he should read her inmost soul? On the other hand, could she deceive a being to whom all her thoughts had ever been exposed as clearly as crystal, and from whom no sentiment had ever been concealed? These reflections made her anxious and thoughtful. Her mind still dwelt on Werther, who was now lost to her, but whom she could not bring herself to resign, and for whom she knew nothing was left but despair if she should be lost to him for ever.

Charlotte hadn't slept much the night before. All her worries came true in ways she couldn't have predicted or prevented. Her blood was boiling, and a thousand painful feelings tore at her heart. Was it the intensity of Werther's passionate embraces she felt deep down? Was it anger at his boldness? Was it the painful comparison of her current situation to the innocent, calm, and self-assured days of the past? How could she face her husband and admit to something she had no reason to hide, yet felt reluctant to confess? They had maintained such a long silence with each other; should she be the one to break it with this unexpected revelation? She was worried that just mentioning Werther's visit would upset him, and her honesty would only make his distress worse. She hoped he could see her for who she really was and judge her fairly, but did she really want him to see her deepest feelings? On the other hand, could she lie to someone who had always seen through her thoughts as clearly as glass, someone from whom she'd never hidden anything? These thoughts made her anxious and contemplative. Her mind kept lingering on Werther, who was now gone from her life, but whom she couldn't let go of, and for whom she knew only despair awaited if she lost him forever.

A recollection of that mysterious estrangement which had lately subsisted between herself and Albert, and which she could never thoroughly understand, was now beyond measure painful to her. Even the prudent and the good have before now hesitated to explain their mutual differences, and have dwelt in silence upon their imaginary grievances, until circumstances have become so entangled, that in that critical juncture, when a calm explanation would have saved all parties, an understanding was impossible. And thus if domestic confidence had been earlier established between them, if love and kind forbearance had mutually animated and expanded their hearts, it might not, perhaps, even yet have been too late to save our friend.

Thinking back on the mysterious distance that had recently grown between her and Albert, which she could never fully grasp, was now incredibly painful for her. Even the wise and good have hesitated to clarify their differences in the past, staying silent about their imagined grievances until the situation became so complicated that, at the critical moment when a calm conversation could have resolved everything, understanding became impossible. If only there had been trust built between them earlier, if love and kindness had filled their hearts, it might not have been too late to help our friend.

But we must not forget one remarkable circumstance. We may observe from the character of Werther's correspondence, that he had never affected to conceal his anxious desire to quit this world. He had often discussed the subject with Albert; and, between the latter and Charlotte, it had not unfrequently formed a topic of conversation. Albert was so opposed to the very idea of such an action, that, with a degree of irritation unusual in him, he had more than once given Werther to understand that he doubted the seriousness of his threats, and not only turned them into ridicule, but caused Charlotte to share his feelings of incredulity. Her heart was thus tranquillised when she felt disposed to view the melancholy subject in a serious point of view, though she never communicated to her husband the apprehensions she sometimes experienced.

But we shouldn’t overlook one important detail. From Werther's letters, we can see that he never tried to hide his deep desire to leave this world. He often talked about it with Albert, and it frequently came up in conversations between Albert and Charlotte. Albert was so against the idea of taking such an action that, showing an unusual level of irritation for him, he let Werther know on multiple occasions that he doubted the seriousness of his threats. He not only mocked them but also made Charlotte share his disbelief. This helped calm her heart when she felt the urge to take the sad topic seriously, even though she never told her husband about the worries she sometimes had.

Albert, upon his return, was received by Charlotte with ill-concealed embarrassment. He was himself out of humour; his business was unfinished; and he had just discovered that the neighbouring official with whom he had to deal, was an obstinate and narrow-minded personage. Many things had occurred to irritate him.

Albert, when he got back, was welcomed by Charlotte with a clear sense of embarrassment. He was in a bad mood; his work was still undone; and he had just found out that the local official he needed to work with was stubborn and narrow-minded. A lot of things had happened to annoy him.

He inquired whether anything had happened during his absence, and Charlotte hastily answered that Werther had been there on the evening previously. He then inquired for his letters, and was answered that several packages had been left in his study. He thereon retired, leaving Charlotte alone.

He asked if anything had happened while he was gone, and Charlotte quickly replied that Werther had visited the night before. He then asked for his letters, and was told that several packages had been left in his study. He then went away, leaving Charlotte by herself.

The presence of the being she loved and honoured produced a new impression on her heart. The recollection of his generosity, kindness, and affection had calmed her agitation: a secret impulse prompted her to follow him; she took her work and went to his study, as was often her custom. He was busily employed opening and reading his letters. It seemed as if the contents of some were disagreeable. She asked some questions: he gave short answers, and sat down to write.

The presence of the person she loved and respected created a new feeling in her heart. Remembering his generosity, kindness, and affection had eased her anxiety: a quiet urge encouraged her to follow him; she grabbed her work and went to his study, as she often did. He was busy opening and reading his letters. It looked like some of them contained bad news. She asked a few questions; he replied briefly and sat down to write.

Several hours passed in this manner, and Charlotte's feelings became more and more melancholy. She felt the extreme difficulty of explaining to her husband, under any circumstances, the weight that lay upon her heart; and her depression became every moment greater, in proportion as she endeavoured to hide her grief, and to conceal her tears.

Several hours went by like this, and Charlotte's feelings grew increasingly sad. She found it incredibly hard to explain to her husband, no matter the situation, the weight that pressed on her heart; and her depression intensified with each moment as she tried to hide her sorrow and keep her tears hidden.

The arrival of Werther's servant occasioned her the greatest embarrassment. He gave Albert a note, which the latter coldly handed to his wife, saying, at the same time, "Give him the pistols. I wish him a pleasant journey," he added, turning to the servant. These words fell upon Charlotte like a thunderstroke: she rose from her seat half-fainting, and unconscious of what she did. She walked mechanically toward the wall, took down the pistols with a trembling hand, slowly wiped the dust from them, and would have delayed longer, had not Albert hastened her movements by an impatient look. She then delivered the fatal weapons to the servant, without being able to utter a word. As soon as he had departed, she folded up her work, and retired at once to her room, her heart overcome with the most fearful forebodings. She anticipated some dreadful calamity. She was at one moment on the point of going to her husband, throwing herself at his feet, and acquainting him with all that had happened on the previous evening, that she might acknowledge her fault, and explain her apprehensions; then she saw that such a step would be useless, as she would certainly be unable to induce Albert to visit Werther. Dinner was served; and a kind friend whom she had persuaded to remain assisted to sustain the conversation, which was carried on by a sort of compulsion, till the events of the morning were forgotten.

The arrival of Werther's servant caused her a great deal of embarrassment. He handed Albert a note, which Albert coldly passed on to his wife, saying at the same time, "Give him the pistols. I wish him a pleasant journey," turning to the servant as he spoke. These words hit Charlotte like a shock; she stood up, nearly fainting, and acted without realizing it. She walked robotically toward the wall, took down the pistols with a shaky hand, slowly wiped the dust off them, and would have taken longer if Albert hadn't hastened her with an impatient look. She then handed the deadly weapons to the servant without being able to say a word. Once he left, she folded her work and rushed to her room, her heart filled with terrible foreboding. She feared some awful disaster. For a moment, she almost went to her husband, threw herself at his feet, and confessed everything that had happened the night before to acknowledge her mistake and explain her fears; then she realized that it would be pointless since there was no way to convince Albert to visit Werther. Dinner was served, and a kind friend she had persuaded to stay helped keep the conversation going, which continued out of a sort of obligation, until the events of the morning slipped from memory.

When the servant brought the pistols to Werther, the latter received them with transports of delight upon hearing that Charlotte had given them to him with her own hand. He ate some bread, drank some wine, sent his servant to dinner, and then sat down to write as follows:

When the servant brought the pistols to Werther, he took them with immense joy upon hearing that Charlotte had given them to him herself. He had some bread, drank some wine, sent his servant to dinner, and then sat down to write the following:

"They have been in your hands you wiped the dust from them. I kiss them a thousand times—you have touched them. Yes, Heaven favours my design, and you, Charlotte, provide me with the fatal instruments. It was my desire to receive my death from your hands, and my wish is gratified. I have made inquiries of my servant. You trembled when you gave him the pistols, but you bade me no adieu. Wretched, wretched that I am—not one farewell! How could you shut your heart against me in that hour which makes you mine for ever? Charlotte, ages cannot efface the impression—I feel you cannot hate the man who so passionately loves you!"

"They've been in your hands; you wiped the dust off them. I kiss them a thousand times—you’ve touched them. Yes, Heaven supports my plan, and you, Charlotte, provide me with the deadly tools. I wanted to receive my end from your hands, and my wish has been fulfilled. I’ve asked my servant about it. You shook when you gave him the pistols, but you didn’t say goodbye. Poor, poor me—not a single farewell! How could you close your heart to me in that moment that makes you mine forever? Charlotte, no amount of time can erase the mark—I know you can’t hate the man who loves you so deeply!"

After dinner he called his servant, desired him to finish the packing up, destroyed many papers, and then went out to pay some trifling debts. He soon returned home, then went out again, notwithstanding the rain, walked for some time in the count's garden, and afterward proceeded farther into the country. Toward evening he came back once more, and resumed his writing.

After dinner, he called for his servant, asked him to finish packing, destroyed a bunch of papers, and then went out to pay a few small debts. He quickly came back home but went out again, despite the rain, walked for a while in the count's garden, and then headed further into the countryside. Later in the evening, he returned again and got back to writing.

"Wilhelm, I have for the last time beheld the mountains, the forests, and the sky. Farewell! And you, my dearest mother, forgive me! Console her, Wilhelm. God bless you! I have settled all my affairs! Farewell! We shall meet again, and be happier than ever."

"Wilhelm, I have seen the mountains, the forests, and the sky for the last time. Goodbye! And you, my dearest mother, forgive me! Please comfort her, Wilhelm. God bless you! I’ve taken care of everything! Goodbye! We will meet again and be happier than ever."

"I have requited you badly, Albert; but you will forgive me. I have disturbed the peace of your home. I have sowed distrust between you. Farewell! I will end all this wretchedness. And oh, that my death may render you happy! Albert, Albert! make that angel happy, and the blessing of Heaven be upon you!"

"I haven’t treated you well, Albert, but I hope you can forgive me. I’ve disrupted the peace of your home. I’ve created distrust between you. Goodbye! I’m going to put an end to all this misery. And oh, I hope my death brings you happiness! Albert, Albert! Make that angel happy, and may Heaven bless you!"

He spent the rest of the evening in arranging his papers: he tore and burned a great many; others he sealed up, and directed to Wilhelm. They contained some detached thoughts and maxims, some of which I have perused. At ten o'clock he ordered his fire to be made up, and a bottle of wine to be brought to him. He then dismissed his servant, whose room, as well as the apartments of the rest of the family, was situated in another part of the house. The servant lay down without undressing, that he might be the sooner ready for his journey in the morning, his master having informed him that the post-horses would be at the door before six o'clock.

He spent the rest of the evening organizing his papers: he tore up and burned a lot of them; others he sealed and addressed to Wilhelm. They included some scattered thoughts and maxims, a few of which I’ve read. At ten o'clock, he had his fire stoked and asked for a bottle of wine. He then sent his servant away, whose room, along with the rest of the family’s, was located in another part of the house. The servant lay down without bothering to change, so he would be ready for his journey in the morning, as his master had informed him that the post-horses would arrive before six o'clock.

"Past eleven o'clock! All is silent around me, and my soul is calm. I thank thee, O God, that thou bestowest strength and courage upon me in these last moments! I approach the window, my dearest of friends; and through the clouds, which are at this moment driven rapidly along by the impetuous winds, I behold the stars which illumine the eternal heavens. No, you will not fall, celestial bodies: the hand of the Almighty supports both you and me! I have looked for the last time upon the constellation of the Greater Bear: it is my favourite star; for when I bade you farewell at night, Charlotte, and turned my steps from your door, it always shone upon me. With what rapture have I at times beheld it! How often have I implored it with uplifted hands to witness my felicity! and even still—But what object is there, Charlotte, which fails to summon up your image before me? Do you not surround me on all sides? and have I not, like a child, treasured up every trifle which you have consecrated by your touch?

"Past eleven o'clock! Everything is quiet around me, and my soul is at peace. I thank you, God, for giving me strength and courage in these final moments! I move to the window, my dearest friend; and through the clouds, which are being blown swiftly by the fierce winds, I see the stars that light up the eternal sky. No, you won’t fall, celestial bodies: the hand of the Almighty supports both you and me! I have looked for the last time at the constellation of the Big Dipper: it’s my favorite star; because when I said goodbye to you at night, Charlotte, and walked away from your door, it always shone for me. With what joy have I sometimes gazed at it! How often have I begged it with outstretched hands to witness my happiness! And even now—But what object is there, Charlotte, that doesn’t remind me of you? Don’t you surround me on all sides? And haven’t I, like a child, cherished every little thing you’ve touched?"

"Your profile, which was so dear to me, I return to you; and I pray you to preserve it. Thousands of kisses have I imprinted upon it, and a thousand times has it gladdened my heart on departing from and returning to my home.

"Your profile, which meant so much to me, I’m giving back to you; and I ask you to keep it safe. I’ve kissed it a thousand times, and it has brought me joy more times than I can count when I left and came back home."

"I have implored your father to protect my remains. At the corner of the churchyard, looking toward the fields, there are two lime-trees—there I wish to lie. Your father can, and doubtless will, do this much for his friend. Implore it of him. But perhaps pious Christians will not choose that their bodies should be buried near the corpse of a poor, unhappy wretch like me. Then let me be laid in some remote valley, or near the highway, where the priest and Levite may bless themselves as they pass by my tomb, whilst the Samaritan will shed a tear for my fate.

"I've begged your father to take care of my remains. At the corner of the churchyard, facing the fields, there are two lime trees—I'd like to be buried there. Your father can, and surely will, do this much for his friend. Ask him to do it. But maybe devout Christians won't want their bodies buried near someone as poor and miserable as me. If that's the case, then lay me to rest in some remote valley, or by the side of the road, where the priest and Levite can bless themselves as they walk by my grave, while the Samaritan will shed a tear for my fate."

"See, Charlotte, I do not shudder to take the cold and fatal cup, from which I shall drink the draught of death. Your hand presents it to me, and I do not tremble. All, all is now concluded: the wishes and the hopes of my existence are fulfilled. With cold, unflinching hand I knock at the brazen portals of Death. Oh, that I had enjoyed the bliss of dying for you! how gladly would I have sacrificed myself for you; Charlotte! And could I but restore peace and joy to your bosom, with what resolution, with what joy, would I not meet my fate! But it is the lot of only a chosen few to shed their blood for their friends, and by their death to augment, a thousand times, the happiness of those by whom they are beloved.

"Look, Charlotte, I’m not afraid to take the cold and deadly cup from which I will drink the poison of death. Your hand offers it to me, and I’m not shaking. It's all over now: the wishes and dreams of my life are fulfilled. With a steady, unwavering hand, I knock at the heavy gates of Death. Oh, how I wish I could die for you! I would gladly give my life for you, Charlotte! And if I could bring peace and happiness back to you, how determined and joyful I would be to face my fate! But only a select few have the chance to sacrifice their lives for their friends, and by their death, greatly increase the happiness of those they love."

"I wish, Charlotte, to be buried in the dress I wear at present: it has been rendered sacred by your touch. I have begged this favour of your father. My spirit soars above my sepulchre. I do not wish my pockets to be searched. The knot of pink ribbon which you wore on your bosom the first time I saw you, surrounded by the children—Oh, kiss them a thousand times for me, and tell them the fate of their unhappy friend! I think I see them playing around me. The dear children! How warmly have I been attached to you, Charlotte! Since the first hour I saw you, how impossible have I found it to leave you. This ribbon must be buried with me: it was a present from you on my birthday. How confused it all appears! Little did I then think that I should journey this road. But peace! I pray you, peace!

"I want, Charlotte, to be buried in the dress I'm wearing now: it has been made special by your touch. I’ve asked your father for this favor. My spirit rises above my grave. I don’t want my pockets searched. The pink ribbon you wore on your chest the first time I saw you, surrounded by the kids—Oh, kiss them a thousand times for me, and tell them about their unhappy friend! I can almost see them playing around me. The dear children! How deeply I’ve cared for you, Charlotte! Since the first moment I saw you, I’ve found it impossible to leave you. This ribbon needs to be buried with me: it was a gift from you on my birthday. How confusing it all feels! I never thought I would be on this path. But peace! I ask you, peace!

"They are loaded—the clock strikes twelve. I say amen. Charlotte, Charlotte! farewell, farewell!"

"They're ready—the clock strikes twelve. I say amen. Charlotte, Charlotte! goodbye, goodbye!"

A neighbour saw the flash, and heard the report of the pistol; but, as everything remained quiet, he thought no more of it.

A neighbor saw the flash and heard the sound of the gun, but since everything stayed quiet, he didn’t think much of it after that.

In the morning, at six o'clock, the servant went into Werther's room with a candle. He found his master stretched upon the floor, weltering in his blood, and the pistols at his side. He called, he took him in his arms, but received no answer. Life was not yet quite extinct. The servant ran for a surgeon, and then went to fetch Albert. Charlotte heard the ringing of the bell: a cold shudder seized her. She wakened her husband, and they both rose. The servant, bathed in tears faltered forth the dreadful news. Charlotte fell senseless at Albert's feet.

In the morning, at six o'clock, the servant entered Werther's room with a candle. He found his master lying on the floor, bleeding, with the pistols beside him. He called out and picked him up, but got no response. Life was still flickering. The servant ran to get a doctor and then went to find Albert. Charlotte heard the ringing of the bell and felt a cold shiver run through her. She woke her husband, and they both got up. The servant, in tears, struggled to share the terrible news. Charlotte collapsed at Albert's feet.

When the surgeon came to the unfortunate Werther, he was still lying on the floor; and his pulse beat, but his limbs were cold. The bullet, entering the forehead, over the right eye, had penetrated the skull. A vein was opened in his right arm: the blood came, and he still continued to breathe.

When the surgeon arrived at the unfortunate Werther, he was still lying on the floor; his pulse was weak, but his limbs were cold. The bullet had entered his forehead, just above the right eye, and had penetrated his skull. A vein in his right arm was opened: blood flowed, and he continued to breathe.

From the blood which flowed from the chair, it could be inferred that he had committed the rash act sitting at his bureau, and that he afterward fell upon the floor. He was found lying on his back near the window. He was in full-dress costume.

From the blood that pooled under the chair, it could be concluded that he had impulsively acted while sitting at his desk, and then collapsed onto the floor. He was discovered lying on his back near the window. He was wearing a complete formal outfit.

The house, the neighbourhood, and the whole town were immediately in commotion. Albert arrived. They had laid Werther on the bed: his head was bound up, and the paleness of death was upon his face. His limbs were motionless; but he still breathed, at one time strongly, then weaker—his death was momently expected.

The house, the neighborhood, and the entire town were thrown into chaos. Albert had arrived. They had placed Werther on the bed: his head was wrapped, and he had the pale look of death on his face. His limbs were still; but he was still breathing, sometimes strongly, other times more faintly—his death was expected at any moment.

He had drunk only one glass of the wine. "Emilia Galotti" lay open upon his bureau.

He had only had one glass of wine. "Emilia Galotti" was lying open on his desk.

I shall say nothing of Albert's distress, or of Charlotte's grief.

I won’t say anything about Albert's distress or Charlotte's sorrow.

The old steward hastened to the house immediately upon hearing the news: he embraced his dying friend amid a flood of tears. His eldest boys soon followed him on foot. In speechless sorrow they threw themselves on their knees by the bedside, and kissed his hands and face. The eldest, who was his favourite, hung over him till he expired; and even then he was removed by force. At twelve o'clock Werther breathed his last. The presence of the steward, and the precautions he had adopted, prevented a disturbance; and that night, at the hour of eleven, he caused the body to be interred in the place which Werther had selected for himself.

The old steward rushed to the house as soon as he heard the news: he hugged his dying friend while crying uncontrollably. His oldest sons quickly followed him on foot. In silent grief, they fell to their knees by the bedside, kissing his hands and face. The oldest, who was his favorite, leaned over him until he passed away; even then, he had to be forcibly pulled away. At twelve o'clock, Werther took his last breath. The steward's presence and the measures he took kept the situation calm, and that night, at eleven o'clock, he arranged for the body to be buried in the spot that Werther had chosen for himself.

The steward and his sons followed the corpse to the grave. Albert was unable to accompany them. Charlotte's life was despaired of. The body was carried by labourers. No priest attended.

The steward and his sons followed the body to the grave. Albert couldn't join them. There was no hope for Charlotte's life. The body was carried by workers. No priest was present.


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